Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 331 - Crendor's Convention Return!

Episode Date: March 28, 2022

The boys are back and this time while Jesse is dodging LA traffic and insane Prius drivers, Crendor is in the safety of a wargames convention. What is a Warhammer after party like exactly? Also fortunes are told, fates revealed, and TV shows are so formulaic that Jesse and Crendor pretty much can just make them up on the spot now. All this and so much more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://hellotushy.com/cox to get 10% off. Go to http://joinhoney.com/cox to get Honey for free!

Today's episode is brought to you by Tushy. If you're tired of toilet paper, let me tell you, get some Tushy. Also today we're brought to you by Honey. Honey, the best way to save money when you shop online. Alright, let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning.

Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In a four hour recording studio. Recording. Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Gags and Crandor in the morning. Yes. I couldn't tell what you were doing. Well, every time, I feel like I come up with something different, and I was about to be like, yeah, and then I was like, I think I did that before, and I was just like, yes. Then you ended with a yes. You ended with a yes.

Yes. When you think about that, little john little john's from like 10 years ago now more than 10 years ago yeah actually well little john was not in 2012 my dude little john was before that oh jesus boy little john's 50 dude i know oh my god that's insane See this is like Your Lil Jon is like me with Lord of the Rings Don't like 2010 Lord of the Rings It's like no dude that's 2001 bro

Lil Jon's only 5'6 I guess he is Lil Yeah hence the Lil Dude I'm taller than Lil Jon Finally somebody I'm taller than I would love for the two of you to get together Make like a music video little john and big kren because i'd be an inch taller i'm big yeah and big kren big kren yo back

in the day i was looking at like uh the average height of like people like hundreds of years ago like i would have been like a six foot five person equivalent like back in like 1100. In 1100? I don't remember the specific year, but like. In 1100. There's got to be a website called like Heights Through the Ages. There's got to be. Heights Through the Ages.

That's what I. It popped up Heights Through History, but I. All right. ages that's what i it popped up heights through history but i all right how tall was the average person in the 1700s 67 inches 60 actually 65 inches i just want no feet give me my american units what do we get 167 that'd be 5'4 was the average height yeah so like even back then i would have been tall i was born in the wrong time. That's crazy. I mean, the thing is, there's people that get super self-conscious

about their height, where they're like, oh, I'm so short. But that's like, you can't do that. It's got to do you. It's got to be you. The average male height is 5'9 today.

Yeah. No, now I'm below Now I'm with Lil Jon But like The thing is Like at 5'7 I'm still taller than a lot of people I see But I'm also not as tall as a lot of people

But also a lot of dudes lie Oh yeah a lot of dudes lie Especially on those websites you are using Where they're just like yo I'm like 6'4". And then they meet up and they're like 5'10". They're like, well, I was wearing my shoes. Even I know a woman who's very short and she wears giant shoes just to seem taller. And I'm like, just embrace the fact that you're short.

You walk around in those freaking clown shoes all day. That's like a style now. I mean, it's a something now. You just don't get it. You're like an old man. Look, I'm also tall. Looking down upon all of you. The thing is, I actually enjoy being short.

You go on airplanes, you don't have to be like, my legs are sitting like a praying mantis. Let me just say, being tall on a plane sucks. You don't have to be like, oh, my legs are like sitting like a praying mantis. You know? Let me just say, being tall on a plane sucks. Being fat and tall on a plane, worse. Have you ever tried using a bathroom on a plane being fat and tall? Impossible. It's an impossible task.

I have to like brace in ways my body, like one foot is like up in the air. If I go on a flight, I won't eat anything that day. Really? Most of the time, yeah. Huh. That's crazy. I didn't even think of that. I mean, if they serve me food on the plane, I'll eat the plane food because I know I won't have to go to the bathroom until after I've landed. I see. But like, the night

before, I won't eat a thing because I'm like, I'm not going to the bathroom on that damn plane. It's too much of a hassle. And then everyone else who's in that bathroom is dirty as hell. So now I gotta, like, maneuver my body in that bathroom. I'll be touching shit. I don't want to touch. Oh yeah.

No, thank you. No, thank you. That sucks. That is true. Yeah. Those, those bad, honestly, like the entire plane's probably gonna be dirty. Well, at this point they probably clean it a lot more than they used to. I think that's probably the one more than they used to is the only true thing there.

Yeah, that's the thing is like even when people make your food and stuff and they're wearing masks, it's like I wish they just wore a mask all the time. You know? Things like food preparation or anything where they're

working with something and they're close and they're like But you can't see their face so you don't know if they like you or not yeah i guess but i'd sacrifice that yeah i don't care if you like me did you make this food good that's all like yeah is it sanitary is it good yeah okay yeah um anyway how did I We got to Hear from me going, yeah Or yes So yeah How's it going? I, can I just say

Two things Well first off, I was going to talk about today But I want to talk about earliest week first Alright Early this week, maybe Thursday or Friday Whatever day I was driving from running a bunch of errands Back to the office All right. Earlier this week, maybe Thursday or Friday, whatever day, I was driving from running a bunch of errands back to the office.

I was coming off the highway, getting ready to do my usual turn, and this young woman who seemed like, I don't know, a college kid in a white Prius, which when I told this story to everyone, everyone asked what the car was, and I said Prius, and everyone was like, oh, my God. So, I guess this is a thing. But a little white Prius. She, like, swerves to cut in front of me. So, I honk.

Like, I almost hit you, honk. She sticks one hand out the window, flips me off. I'm like, all right, whatever. She then proceeds to, like, not figure out which lane she wants to be in. I'm like, oh, my God. Pick a lane. I'm just trying oh my God, pick a lane. I'm just trying to go. So I honk again.

Two birds come out the window. She's flipping me off twice now. No hands on the steering wheel. Double flipping me off. I'm like, fine. Yeah, I'm like, fine, whatever. So I slow down. So I'm not like immediately behind this psychopath. And she like keeps flipping me off.

And I can't figure out what is happening. Like, is she mad? What is going on? Like, I have no interaction. I'm not honking anymore. I'm, like, not even interacting. I'm not flipping her off back. I'm just not even acknowledging her. I'm just waiting for her to leave my, like, immediate area and drive off

because I am two blocks from turning to go to where the office is. So I'm just like okay whatever but she continues to stay in front of me and she keeps slamming on her brakes and i don't honk anymore i don't do anything i'm just like whatever she's clearly pissed at something i'm just like not gonna engage so she goes to turn but then realizes that's not the right turn swerves back in front of me. I honk finally again. I'm like, come on.

This time she like is half out the window yelling at me. I'm like, oh my God, what the hell? And then she turns. And when she turns, she turns down the same street I'm turning. So now it looks like I am, the street that I'm on is a no outlet. There's no way out of there. And now it looks like I am the street that I'm on is a no outlet. There's no way out of there. And now it looks like I am following her.

I think I think that's what she thought. Because suddenly she starts dramatically swerving and looking back and she looks like she is panicking her eyes. And you're asking Jesse, how can you tell her head is hanging out the window? Jesus. She's like looking at me and now panicking so she gets back in her car and starts like driving erratically mind you it's a one-way street and there's straight up no like there's no outlet like so she's freaking out i'm just slowly following just like oh my god this girl what is going on she's freaking and then she like drives past the entrance to the parking lot so i just turned to the parking lot like all right what a weirdo as i go to park my car she

full reverses flips me off reversing backwards huh and i just like was like whatever dude i just can't with you right now and And I park and I leave. I was more worried about her getting out of her car and coming to attack me. Yeah. I think she thought I was going to get her or something. I don't know what the hell was going on, man. I don't know what that was. It was the weirdest experience I've ever had while driving.

I cannot explain what occurred. I don't know what. She even had an out-of-state license plate. So I don't know what She even had an out of state license plate So I don't know what her deal was It was very bizarre But yeah that was like 10.30 in the morning I don't know Thursday or Friday this week

It was great huge fan Maybe she was on drugs I believe it In this city believe it I wouldn't even question that That's wild. That's like, you know, you get crazy people every so often, but occasionally you get like some really crazy people. Like super, like dangerous crazy.

Yeah. Not fun crazy. Like she was hanging out the car yelling at me. And I was like, I have said nothing and done nothing new except honk to let you know you almost hit me. It wasn't even like a honk. It was like, I have said nothing and done nothing new except honk to let you know you almost hit me. It wasn't even like a honk. It was like, honk. I only had that one time where, like, it wasn't like that, but it was this crazy guy. He was driving this old beat-up, like, white van that, like, the home improvement guys drive.

You know, like all the cool shit in it. Yeah. Yeah, Tim Allen. And so, like, we're getting off the tim allen and so he's just like we're getting off the highway and this dude was just driving normally and we're like all right and luckily nobody's behind me because the dude is like trying to determine which way to go left or right and he just stops and i was just like highway like no you know like when you get off the highway it was like a little ramp and you like circle around

Yeah he stops in the middle of that And I was just like what So I just like slam my brakes On him like what and then He like looks left and right I guess he didn't know where to go And then he starts going right then he swerves Back left and then he swerves

Back right and I was like I'm gonna go The opposite way of where this guy goes oh yeah the smart money is just be like you know what i'm just not gonna be around that erratic driver yeah part of me even thought like is this dude just trying to like get hit so he can be like somebody hit me like that thought went through my head i've had that thought a few times especially in la where there's been a driver in front of me who's been really erratic and I'm like are they purposefully trying because I believe the fault is if you hit if you rear end someone the fault's on you yeah exactly so I was like I'm I was like 90 sure that's what that guy was doing so that was I would have you made the smart choice I would have been like nope I will not

be hitting you today. I don't got time for this. That's the way to do it. I'm coming off that other person that hit me from behind. Here's the best part. I took my car in and

it took them, I guess they might have had the parts. I don't know. It took them a day. One day to fix it. That's the parts. I don't know. It took them a day, one day to fix it. That's the fastest service I've ever had. They were like, I took it in at an 8.30 appointment. And by three in the afternoon, they were like, your car's ready. I'm like, you gave me a loaner and everything. They're like, yeah, no, you can just drive down.

We close at five. And I was like, oh, okay. See you then. Well, that was pretty amazing. So I was coming off like, well, that got taken care of. I will say, my car still has one area

where there's like a scratch on it that's pissing me off, but they're like, we'd have to replace the whole panel. I'm like, no, I'm all right. So they just replaced the rear bumper, but I guess everything else is fine. So whatever.

And they gave me like an oil change and shit. They were like, don't worry it's free so here you go and i was like yeah well that's at least nice yeah it wasn't too bad but uh then oh my god then coming back oh man so when i took the car in the morning i was supposed to come so i took it on monday at 8 30 a.m And I do the MCU crew, which is the Marvel show that we do every Monday at 10 a.m. So I said, all right, that's at least an hour and a half. I have to get back plenty of L.A. time to do that. I'm fine.

All right. I get back on the highway. I don't know. 15 minute drive. I'm 5 minutes in And suddenly all the cars are stopped And I'm like what the hell Come on

10 minutes goes by 15 minutes goes by 20 minutes Finally I just pull out my phone and go on Twitter And I type in like 405 Los Angeles traffic And the first thing that pops up is a video And I tweeted it and they were like, there's a situation happening on the 405

and it shows an overpass. And I'm like, what the hell is this? I vividly remember going down towards this car place and while I was driving there was a dude on one of the overpasses

throwing shit on the street, like the highway below. And I think that was the guy. Huh. I think from what I could see, people on Twitter were saying that there was someone threatening to jump onto the highway from the overpass. And so the police shut down the road. But there were also a lot of cars. Like, by the time I the road. But there were also a lot of cars, like by the time I got up there, there were also a lot of cars that were broken down.

So I feel like we were stuck there so long, a bunch of cars broke down just while we were there. But the initial thing I think was this dude threatening to jump. Huh. I have no idea what happened with it, but I feel like I saw that guy while I was driving down. I don't know.

It was so weird. Needless to say, we're supposed to do a show at 10. I got on the highway at nine and I didn't arrive home until 1110. Wow. It was a 15 minute drive. So drive. So I spent two hours sitting, not even moving, just sitting on the highway. And I was like, thankfully, I have gas in the tanker. This could have been bad. There has to be people that run out of gas on the road. That's what I'm saying. By the time I got to when the traffic started moving again, it was still kind of a mess because there were a lot of cars that were just stuck in the road. And people were like, oh, that's probably what the problem was like i don't think so

i think that is just an additional problem yeah man i am glad i don't drive in that uh just every time like la it's not even like crazy lap it's just that traffic of like 15 minute drive takes two hours no thanks la oh yeah that's what i was gonna say so speaking of uh traffic there was traffic going to uh the adepticon which i don't know if you remember adepticon, which I don't know if you remember Adepticon, but it's like a Warhammer convention. Yes. We had plans to go in March, last in 2020,

I believe, before the pandemic. That's what I was saying. It's been canceled since then and now it's finally back. I went to that because I was like, finally, something I can drive to around here. It's pretty neat.

I met up with the like a Warhammer community guy and he was just like, hey, I'm from England. And I was like, nice. And then it's me, Mr. Creative Assembly. He bought a games workshop. He is side of beer with him. That was neat. But the thing was like they're like oh yeah and then uh they're gonna have like this party for like other content creator people with warhammer stuff and i was like dude please tell me you went i would love to know

what that's like well i had to know what it was like too so i was like all right i'll go but first uh i was listening at the bar there are these two guys because it was around like i don't know 9 p.m there and so these two guys were just talking at the bar and they were not warhammer people whatsoever uh they're probably like two dudes at a bar at the warhammer convention but it's like one of those you know like pax east they have the hotel attached to the convention thing and then sure okay it's like one of those, you know, like PAX East, they have the hotel attached to the convention thing. Sure, okay. So it's like that,

where they're probably staying at the hotel for, like, business. Because there's also a bunch of business shit around there. And so they're just talking, like, oh, blah, blah, blah. And the guy's like, yo, I worked my way up, man.

I worked my way up. And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, yeah, I worked my way up. My mom did, too. We worked our way up. You know, we earned this. And then he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, yeah, I worked my way up. My mom did too. We worked our way up. You know, we earned this. And then he's like, yo, which whiskey you want?

What was that? Like, was that 2017? Let's get the 20s. He's like, I need a nightcap. I need a nightcap. And then they're talking more. That's because he worked his way up. He worked his way up.

And the guy's like, yo, you got like smoke? And he's like, I got a Juul. You want a Juul? And he's like, yeah, let's hit the Juul. And they just like walk outside and start smoking his jewel. Then they walk back in and then... The worst part is you haven't described them once

and I already know what both these guys look like. Oh, yeah. And it was just two younger businessmen. Although one was more like a middle-aged businessman, but still like... I was just listening to them talk. But that was, like, the main thing. Everything else just sounded like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I just remember him just being like, work my way up.

Work my way up the ladder. And his mom did, too. I bet this guy, 100%, if you were to be like, yo, you TikTok? You'd be like, I TikTok. You TikTok? You TikTok? I TikTok. It's about brand integration, bro.

You got to TikTok. You got to TikTok. That's where the views are dog tiktok um so that happened it was great and i was like all right i'll go to this thing so they're like oh it's like uh it was in one of the lobby kind of like how there's like blizzcon parties on like the hill i thought you were about to say it was in a room like it was just in some guy's room it was like one of those like big suites like a type of hotel thing so i'm like all right so i go there and there's like a bunch of warhammer youtube people i've seen and they're just talking there's like people being like woo like get like gathering up being like yo i haven't seen you in forever and then uh but like aside from that i was just staying i was like i don't know anybody here and like this is uh

this just reminds me of like twitch con parties where like everybody just sees people they know and they're like yo what's up all right bye and then i was like so you recognize these people from i, videos and stuff that they do. But what's the community like? Are they... They're pretty cool. What I know of the Warhammer community is only the most toxic, crazy people. Oh.

No. The people that I see all the time when it's like Warhammer recommendations on YouTube, it's always like some guy who's like, why the orcs in Warhammer are representative of today's liberal media? You're like, what? Yeah, I don't think that person was there. I would hope not, but you know. It's more just people that actually paint and talk about stuff. And they'll be like, hey, this thing's coming out with Warhammer, not. But, you know. It's more just people that actually paint and, like, talk about stuff.

And they'll be like, hey, this thing's coming out with Warhammer, like, whatever. And there was just a bunch of them, and they're like, there's, like, an older, they're probably, like, between, like, 30 and 50. So, like, it was older people, and then there's chilling. These are actually, like, fans and not just dudes who make angry, like, the Warhammer lore of the empire well okay i'm today reminding you this is a god emperor this is a warhammer community event all right they're not gonna let's invite this person that hates warhammer to our warhammer community event that sounds great like so you know it was all right and then i was like i stayed five minutes and I was like, I'm going to leave.

Then I left. Then I went to the actual Adepticon. It was fun. I walked around, saw some miniature stuff, saw some booths. Somebody gave me free stuff. They're called Death Ray Designs. They were like, hey Crandor, do you want some Necron terrain?

I was like, sure, I'll take free stuff. So they gave me free stuff. It was pretty neat. Death Ray Designs. I'm looking them up right now. Death Ray Designs. So that was cool. New Necropolis.

Oh, shit. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they do a bunch of terrain stuff. They have, like, basings and stuff. Interesting. So it's like one of the people at a booth there there's just a bunch of and there's like half of the convention

was just people playing games just like sitting down playing games and then there's this family of orcs they're like cosplaying as orcs and they would just walk around going and then their kids were dressed up as like little goblin knobblars.

And they would just bang a cowbell. And they'd be like, clank, clank, clank. And that's what they did the entire time. So it was pretty great. So I knew that there were goblins. But I didn't know that. So I played the ogre campaign in Total War Warhammer 3. And I didn't know that the ogre goblins were called knobblers yeah they're like mini goblins i had no clue that was their name and that made me laugh

so hard i was like these guys are not called knob g and knobblers couldn't believe it couldn't believe it i was like this is amazing yeah they're uh they're great and so just like walked around looked at all that. And I was like, all right. The thing is, like, when I go to conventions, I like sitting in rooms where it's like panels, like people are talking. I thought there'd be some, but there was like no panels. I guess because everybody's playing games, so they don't have panels. But like, I feel like you don't even have like panels.

Paint, exhibit things like a person's painting. like panels paint exhibit things like a person's painting and like when i was at some of those but not the convention in canberra when i was like in australia they they had a warhammer area but it was literally like learn to paint like the pros and what they did i thought this was really neat is that they had a guy who was like painting officially but then around him were a bunch of tables and on those tables were like a bunch of really crappy figures that clearly were just like bootleg knockoff things and then a million d paints and you just sat there you could paint and i'm not i'm not gonna lie i was at that i was invited to this convention i did my uh uh like shows and stuff i had to do and spent the rest of the time straight up like painting

just went to that area and painted and just painted characters and it was like me and like 12 year olds and I did not give a damn I was like you're like Billy Madison out there yeah it was great I loved that it's what inspired me to come back and be like Crandor I think I want to paint

damn yeah it was great it's very it's calming. It gives you like, you have something to do. You have like a focus. You know the objectives and what you're trying to do. Yeah, it makes sense to me. It ticked off all the things. I was like, you know what? This is awesome. I love it.

That's what I'm saying. That's like the reason I love Warhammer building and painting and all that. It's just very meditative when you're doing it. And it gives you like something creative. It's a creative outlet. So yeah, we did that. But yeah, that was the only complaint was I wish they had more like actual panels happening.

They have like some events. Like there's a beginner class. They have like how to do specific painting things. Like they have wet blending 101. Learn how to wet blend. But like you got paid to go to those like i like when you just walk into a panel like what's going on here you know it is yeah it's so like it's it's one of those things where i i understand why they would do the things

they would do but i also feel like couldn't they have panels where like, the people come on and talk about, I don't know, like, even the best game I ever played. Like something like that. There's gotta be something. Yeah, I don't know. So that would be my only thing going forward,

is like, get some panels. All right. And then, you know, that was pretty fun. You know, it's not like a big convention. It's just like a smaller convention. I mean, you showed me where it takes place. It's not a big location. No, it's not.

So, like, it's still like a fun thing to go to. It's like being in that convention environment. Because we used to go to, like, four conventions a year back, like, five, six years ago. I know. So, that was crazy. Everyone this year is like, like bro you're going to to pax east i'm like hell no what are you kidding me no yeah like i wouldn't have flown to go to this thing it's just the fact that it's like finally something's like in a chicago convention

i can drive to thank god don't have to get on a plane and like stay at a hotel and do all that so that was nice and then uh this doesn't even relate to anything but i was in one like yesterday in the morning i was eating breakfast and i was like i wonder if there i just felt the urge to watch like 90s tv and so i was like i wonder if there's like a website that has like 90s TV or something I guess you go on YouTube or whatever so I did 90s TV and there's a website called my 90s tv.com and they also here I go they also have my 80s TV and my 2000s TV and yo this isn't just like whoa this do you can you actually watch stuff here yes you just like flip through the thing is they've like compiled a bunch of YouTube videos so they're

essentially just like browsing through YouTube videos because like some were like end of playlist I was like oh uh but the the fact that they put this all together and they've sorted it by years, you can go year to year and it's playing different stuff. It's pretty cool. Dude, this is wild. There's a channel literally called NBC Commercials. And it's just commercials from NBC.

WWF Wrestling March 1992 is one thing. Yeah, they have sports. They got news, commercials. Like, they got everything. The best of the Beastie Boys. Well, this is amazing. Yeah, so I literally just watched this for like an hour. I did not expect.

I thought this was just going to be like a thing Where it had a list of stuff from those Eras No it's like actually legit This is crazy Yeah there's the best of 60s 70s 80s 2000s Yeah like I went to 2002 And I was like flipping through and it got to the news

And the news was just like It's getting crazy out here The terrorists could strike again. And they said they'll strike apartment buildings. And they're like, are you worried your apartment building will be attacked? And they're like, I mean, that's pretty generalization, but you just don't know.

It's like, this is crazy. It's like going back in time. But you know what's going to happen in the future. Dude, it is very weird. I'm watching a commercial. I just went to 2002. What the hell is this commercial? It's a Ralph Lauren commercial, but it's, like, extra patriotic because, you know, like, post 9-11.

Yeah. So it's, like, a bunch of beautiful models riding horses and the music in the background is, like, So it's like a bunch of beautiful models riding horses and the music in the background is like, and then it's like the world of Ralph Lauren and shows him like waving it and then like an American flag and then a bunch of beautiful models and like polos and shit. Amazing. This is so crazy. Yeah. Like this was more than I ever expected just like being able to watch

an actual weird digital TV and you can like check what you want and don't want so if you're like I don't care about soap operas you can like uncheck that and it won't go to the soap opera channel when you're looking through this guy at Joey Cato

on Twitter is a engineer at Netflix, I guess. Dude, he's using his powers for good. Damn. Yeah, this is. This guy is amazing. This is so neat. It really is. What the hell?

Yeah, props to you, Joey Cato, C-A-T-O. Wow, that's so freaking cool. He worked on The Sims. Dude, this guy is a hero. This guy is a hero. This guy is out there doing the things that, honestly, he did more for the internet than I think 99% of the people on the internet have ever done. This is incredible. on the internet have ever done this is incredible uh i guess he's had this for a while because he had he tweeted he's like gizmodo wrote a nice article about my 60s tv and it was just them

talking about the tv thing in october that's so cool that's so cool i love this good find dude yeah so if you want to just take a trip down the old nostalgia lane and watch some old tv just pick a year and check it out that's very good wow all right i need to close this or i'm looking at it yeah yeah so i was saying i was just watching for an hour and then you're just thinking you start remembering things they start playing like here's ll cool j and i'm like oh my god he existed i mean he still exists but he was relevant yeah uh so yeah that was pretty neat you reminded me of that because i was watching your live stream for a bit and you talked about the chop and i was like oh yeah tv yeah that was the thing people used to watch or unless you're my case still watch um the thing is

so that's like you talked about those formulas but like every show has that formula it's not even just oh yeah network shows like every show has the formula like they used to when we watched uh container wars or whatever shit it was like you knew the formula the they would just go like oh am i gonna be able to buy this thing it's like i bid 55 55 65 65 he's like i don't know if i'll be able to afford this one he's like i'll do it and then he ends up finding like some rare thing it's like wow but that's it's chopped is so weird because it's so formula like you you can't imagine that a cooking show especially a cooking competition could be that formulaic but

it always is every time every time the first commercial break is always oh no like i just before we did this i was i was eating dinner and i decided to watch an episode of chop because i was talking about chops and it was on my mind and it was memphis barbecue and one of the chefs was like i was cooking my chicken. I looked down. I was like, oh, I didn't even touch my barbecue nachos. I don't know what to do with the barbecue nachos. And the music's like, commercial break.

And then it comes back and he's like, so the idea I have with my barbecue nachos. You're like, come on. Oh, yeah. You always know they're going to figure it out. They just edit it. So it's just like, come on. Oh, yeah. You always know they're going to figure it out. They just edit it. So it's just like, oh, problem. Yeah, it's all editing. And it's, I guess, because you have to make a show like this dramatic. Yeah.

Without dramatic moments, really. Yeah, there's no dramatic moments in a bunch of chefs like, yeah, so I guess I'm going to cook these barbecue nachos and make it into something else. Yeah, it's like, but every show uses that formula. Like, even if you go to TLC or something, where they're like, my 800 kids, and they'll do a thing, they're like, hold on, I only counted 799 kids. Where's the one?

And it's like, bam, bam, bam. And it comes back like, oh, he was under the bed. I want to say today, though, this episode of Chopped had the biggest reverse uno card i've ever seen in my life this guy um comes on the show and it was again it was memphis barbecue was the theme and the first round they had in their basket if people who don't know chop they give them a basket of four ingredients and they have to use those four ingredients to make whatever it is it's like four surprise ingredients so it was memphis barbecue was the theme so they had to

make memphis barbecue with the ingredients and again one of the ingredients was barbecue nachos which i guess is just barbecue on nachos i have no idea how that works but anyway one of the guys his meal that he made was barbecue nachos so So he got barbecue nachos and then made barbecue nachos with the barbecue nachos. And then when he presented to the judges, the judges were like, so why do you have an affinity for barbecue nachos? And he's like, well, I invented the barbecue

nacho. I was like, holy shit! This guy played the system. They gave him the thing he invented, and then he just used it to invent another barbecue nacho that's crazy yeah i was like this guy is amazing so uh yeah that's why i watch for moments like that apparently i used to watch like hgtv stuff i say used to i still occasionally watch hgtv stuff but they do the same thing they're just like uh we're trying to flip this house and uh the pipes aren't working they're like the pipes

aren't working what are we gonna do and it's like there there there then they come back they're like so we call the guy and he's gonna fix the pipes it's like oh okay yeah it's never it's never exciting it's always just like we have to make tension for the commercial break yeah it's like all right cool i guess it's like uh house right, cool, I guess. It's like House Hunters, too. Like, House Hunters, they don't really have, like, a super formula, but it's got, like, a similar. You can tell what's formulaic about it and, like, what they're told to say. I swear to God, take a shot. Every episode, they go, I can see myself.

Like, they tell them to say. They're just like, I can see myself out here just on the balcony having a coffee, talking to my dog about how he's a dog. It's like, okay. But every time, they'll be like, oh, this is a great space for entertaining. They never go like, hey, this would be good to have friends over. They're like, this is great for entertaining. So you know the producers are like, okay, if you see this spot, you see this spot totally say it's entertaining okay make sure you say the word entertaining yeah probably the company that gave them the furniture or whatever was like it's great

for entertaining like make sure you say it's great for entertaining yeah every time and then they're always just like uh you know it's me i'm a teacher at a community college and my wife is uh you know works at a small coffee shop as an it person so we're moving to san francisco and our budget person uh our budget's 800 million dollars and you're just like what they'll just be like yeah i'm a janitor at a grade school and my wife is an author uh she wrote one book. It sold five copies. Our budget's $80 million. Every time.

And then there'll be someone else. I feel like it's one of those things like, just say what your budget is and that's what we have. So people will know how much this costs in real life. I just want to watch the normal people that are just like, hey, I'm a normal person.

We have normal jobs. Our budget's like $250,000. You're like, hey, I'm a normal person. We have normal jobs. Our budget's like $250,000. You're like, okay. But then I guess the houses aren't as exciting as if someone's like, hey, I'm going to look at the Silicon Valley for my mansion. All right. Yeah, it's all because some company was like,

yeah, we'll donate this. And it's like, all right, well, how much does that cost? Oh, that's $100,000. All right. Well, they have to increase the price of whatever they're doing by $100,000. Even though this couple isn't paying for it, we have to have them say their price range is this so that people will know how much the different things cost. Like that kind of thing. I know apparently with house hunters, they like pick out. They already already know what house they're gonna get before they even go on the show

so they just like oh i believe they're like all right we're buying this house but then they're like we'll just show you two houses and then you know they go with the one they're already by but the other formulaic thing they do is they always have the couple have contrasting things they're never like yeah we both just want a nice modern house cookie cutter build whatever they're always like i'm a little more traditional okay i just want like a character in this house you know something old you know all bits it's been lived in but he's more modern he wants like i you know, sex dungeon in the basement. If we could compromise, like if it's a nice 1700s sex dungeon, a little more character, that'd probably be okay.

Yeah. I want something a little more modern, a little more funky. I was thinking a sex dungeon in the basement. That would, that's like the late night HGTV I just want some guy to do that Like the wife's like I was just thinking like a little Like a little breakfast nook

And maybe a place where I could put a bookshelf Maybe a built in bookshelf I'd love to read And of green cables, my favorite And the husband's like Yeah, I was thinking something a little more eclectic, like a sex dungeon in the basement. And the wife gives a little wink to the camera.

That'd be amazing. That'd be the episode to watch. Some random stock. And he's like, do, do, do, do, do. And they film a goose walking around or some shit. They always do that. They're like, here's a stock thing around or some shit. They always do that. They're like, here's a stock thing, some stock music. There's animals jumping around, like a frog,

and then some person riding their bike through the city. That's it. So I found all of this usable metal, and we're going to spruce up this basement and then hook the chains to the metal to give it a real industrial feel. The guy's like,

I love it. White honey? And the wife's reading Anne of Green Gables. Like, it's great. So yeah, that's the formulaic TV. And overall, I get it. And I can't stop watching it. I need to say, by the way, I know we've done it on this show before in the past.

And we've talked about it. But today on stream, the end of the stream, I might have to upload this to YouTube because it blew my mind. Someone in chat said, Jesse, are you a Taurus? And I said, yes, I'm a taurus and then that person said is that your son's sign and i was like what the hell are you talking about they're like is it your son and i was like oh this is that thing we're like you know well my son's sign is this and my moon sign is this and my gemini is this and whatever and basically it's just a way for you to be everything so no matter what the horoscope

always fits is how i feel right i think it's just a more for you to be everything. So no matter what the horoscope always fits is how I feel. Right. I think it's just a more in-depth astrology thing, but I honestly don't know like how it even works. I don't know. Well, so because I didn't either, I went to this website,

called my mom on stream was like, what time was I born? Did the whole thing went in input on the information and the output it gave me was so incredibly accurate it was frightening it was scary dude i almost for a minute i was like believing i was believing everything it was saying about me i was like oh my god i didn't know what half of it meant but all the things was talking about like my personality stuff believed every bit of it then i went in and just typed in a random i named a guy john smithman and typed in a random information and here's the thing it was roughly equivalent except worded differently so like the one for me it was like you are a sun

taurus and so you are stubborn and set in your ways and then i was like john smithman was i think uh sagittarius or scorpio or something it was like you when you when you have an opinion you stick to it i was like that's the same thing yeah there was uh i forgot his name uh some like philosopher scientist whatever guy and he did like a thing in a classroom about astrology and like fortune telling all that and he gave everybody uh the same what do you call it uh like reading and so he just worded everything differently so he just mixed it up instead of being like you get stressed easily you like to talk he would like give the same thing to someone else and it would just be like you like to talk you get stressed easily like just mixed up so people didn't think they got the same one and pretty much he was like how accurate do you think

this is to describing you and everybody pretty much said it was like 70 to 90 accurate and then he was like well you all got the same one so it's like he's like the way the brain works is it just fits you into whatever so it's like you're stubborn and it's like everybody can be stubborn at some point that doesn't mean you're more stubborn than someone else is on a consistent basis but it's like very vague so it's all about being what's fascinating is the things it said about me. The reason why it was so funny and why I was like, I think I believe in this is because earlier in the stream,

I had been talking about a bunch of different things and it seemed like every single thing I had said, this thing picked up on. And it was humorous because it felt like someone was watching the stream, just writing out a notes, like notes about me. Yeah. And we were all laughing about it because it seemed like it was super accurate.

And here's the thing, it was super accurate, but then when I went to go look at everyone else, like John Smithman, it was accurate there as well, but just worded differently. So I feel like you're totally right that I think we all are looking for the same thing. It was just very funny

that the things I was saying on stream stream it was like nailing me on i felt called out on so much stuff i don't know it was for a brief moment i was like i think this is really all i think this is real it was it was pretty funny i would highly recommend if you were listening right now go watch it it was pretty wild i'll watch it and then i'll do it and i'll see dude i like call my mom was like when was i born exactly she's like what i think i spent like an hour reading through all the because it gives you like this is your moon and this is your this and this is you're in this house and the more i read the more i was like damn like it was there was a lot of stuff that's accurate and then there was a lot of stuff that was like you know very vague but i was like oh right i would say 20 of it was on the nose like 100 jesse and then 80 was so

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Traffic is going. We've got so much traffic on the 808, the 706, and the 505. Checking down here, it looks like there's some more traffic at the 259, and it looks like there's some more traffic about 259 and It looks like there's some more traffic at the 802 That's the 802. Yep, so if you're taking any of those You know just don't That dude. I don't think anyone's taking those. I don't think those are real mmm. Then why are they on my map? That's a good point.

Good point. Touche. You got me. Yeah. All right. Let's go to weather. Weather time. We've got this one's been upvoted.

Upvoted. Oh, my goodness. Well, on the YouTube, Helena Hasson, weather requests for fru Fallon Sweden literally translates to wife trap so could be something for Jesse to consider fru Fallon Sweden okay now my hunt begins. In Frøfalen, Västra Götaland, Sweden. It is 39 degrees.

Partly cloudy. 33 degrees is what it feels like, though. 30.02 inches of pressure, 89% humidity, 10 mile visibility, 8 mile an hour winds, 36 on the dewpoint, UV index 0 of 10 with a waning crescent moon looking at the 10 day tonight partly cloudy winds 10 15 miles an hour 38 degrees monday 53 with partly cloudy skies

tuesday 42 partly cloudy wednesday 40 mostly, 43. Partly cloudy. Saturday, 44. Mostly sunny. And Sunday, 45. Partly cloudy. So why is this place considered the place where women can't escape from? What is happening here? I don't know. I'm looking at it and it seems like one road.

That's all I can tell. Maybe like three or four roads. And it's on a lake. And it's near Boris, and it's kind of close to Copenhagen, kind of. It's in the southern part of Sweden. Well. So, I mean, like, that's good for me, but also, what is the rule with this?

They said that it literally translates to wife trap. Wife trap. So, if you type in wife trap, it also says, through fallen Sweden, wife trap, trap so if you type in wife trap it also says through fallen sweden wife trap economiska foreign uh as well as wife trap brewery there's also a well this is weird there's a link here called top face dating site for serious relationships in through fallen and the image is like a dude duck facing. I mean, that's, yeah. Maybe that's where you gotta go.

There also appears to be a lot of like antique stores, which is probably the trap. That probably is the trap, yeah. Like, honey, let's go to the antique store. You're my wife now. They always say that's what happens in Sweden. That's the weather. Alright. Let's go to sports.

Sports. We've got sports. We've got sports. NCAA Final Four is set. It's going to be North Carolina versus Duke, a classic. Classic. And then Kansas taking on Villanova. So some good games there.

Over in soccer, it looks like USA 2022 FIFA World Cup qualifying is happening. And USA is beating Panama. I don't know what any of that means. Qualifying for the World Cup. That's pretty good. So I guess, yeah, they didn't even qualify last World Cup, right? I don't think they did. So maybe they will this

time uh over in the nba closing in on the end of the season only like seven eight games left for each team you've got the celtics heat bucks 76ers bulls raptors uh and playoff spots followed by the calves nets hornets hawks and the playing you've got the Suns, the Grizzlies, Warriors, Jazz, Mavericks, Nuggets in the playoff spots, and the Timberwolves, Clippers, Lakers, and Pelicans in the play-in, but that could change. Then we have the

NHL. NHL standings. We've got the Panthers. I thought you were about to do a little song and dance like NHL standings. No. We've got the Panthers at the a little song and dance like nhl no we got the panthers at the top hurricanes penguins rangers lightning bruins maple leaves capitals where are those the oh my god yeah the those are the top teams and then the eighth seed is the 84 points team and the next highest is 69 points. Nice. Damn.

That's pretty crazy, though. They're practically in the playoffs already. Yeah, dude. The West, you got the Avalanche, the Flames, the Wild, the Kings, the Predators, the Blues, the Oilers, and the Golden Knights. But this one's much closer. The 8th seed's got 76 points, while the ones below them got 75, 73, 72. So all those teams fighting for that playoff spot. Seattle Kraken, not doing great.

46 points, second lowest in the NHL. Tied with the Canadians, though, and two points above the Coyotes. And their name's good, too. So, like, I don't care. Yeah, their name's good. So you know what? For a team's first year, you're already tied with the Canadians who have been around for like forever that's their

whole that's like their whole country sport yeah look at that so there you go seattle and then nfl bunch of trades have been happening so yeah that's sports all right what is our fact of the day fact of the day this one's fun nap. Napoleon once was attacked by thousands of rabbits. I did not know this. Yes, go on. Napoleon was once one of the most powerful men in Europe, but he suffered an ignominious. Ignominious? Is that how you say this word?

I'm waiting for the rest of this sentence. Ah, ignominious. I'm waiting for the rest of this sentence. Ah, ignominious. I'm waiting for the rest of this sentence. Go on. Ignominious defeat at the hands of rabbits. After a military victory, Napoleon's chief of staff organized a rabbit hunt to celebrate.

Thousands of rabbits were brought to be set loose, but instead of hopping away when the cages were open, they turned to attack, swarming the partygoers. After trying and failing to shoo them away, the cages were open they turned to attack swarming the party goers after trying and failing to shoo them away the great emperor napoleon ran for his safety of his carriage i love this now what a great story yeah that was a great story look at that napoleon defeated by rabbits and winter yep the rabbits two his two biggest enemies rabbits in winter the more you know about history the better it becomes uh and that is your fact of the day all right well what is our big news story of the day

big news story of the day um so this one... Oh my god. So... I was down to two. Alabama man accused of stealing 70 ton crane. And then there was man known as Scott Fudge jailed after attack on elderly person. But here's the thing. This is... This is Scott Fudge.

Oh no. Oh, no. Oh, no. I feel bad for Scott Fudge. Like that guy. Someone said, looks like the bug wearing the dude's skin from Men in Black. That is exactly what it looks like. Oh, man. Dude, that guy is just unpleasant yeah that is wow that's why i like i didn't want to

read the story because it's like a sad like he's tagging an elderly very sad like he's sad it's sad all of it's sad just the fact of him looking like a bug from men in black i had to point it out well thank you i'm glad someone had a problem um so we're gonna read about alabama man the suspended or the suspect claims someone gave him the crane and he wanted it removed so he could sell it for scrap an alabama man who called a wrecker service asking to have a 70 ton crane pulled out of the woods is now charged with stealing heavy machinery the owner of a towing service contacted the Chilton County Sheriff's Office on Monday, saying the man had called claiming someone gave him the crane and he wanted it removed so he could sell it for scrap.

The wrecker service owner recalled moving the same crane a few years ago and contacted its owner, who denied having given it away. The towing operator then called law enforcement. The man who wanted the crane moved fled before officers arrived driving the rig into a ditch where it became stuck the 26 year old clanton man was arrested tuesday on a probation violation and first degree theft we have worked a lot of theft cases over the years but this one definitely takes place in the heavyweight category said the sheriff's office category category yo this is a big ass crane.

Look at this thing. This is the, it also has like a military vibe. Yeah, it's like a military crane. Dude just like took it. It's like, it's mine now. Or it's Alabama and they just painted it camo because like. Oh, that's also, that's also very possible. Although, I don't know.

It does look old, but either way, this dude wanted to sell it for scrap. I mean, you probably could. Yeah. There's a lot there to sell. Like, there's a lot there to scrap sell. But he also stole it. Right. I mean, like, it wasn't his to sell.

Yeah. That's your news stories of the day. Okay. That's it for stories of the day. Okay. That's it for us. Thank you so much for listening or watching or however enjoying this podcast. Crandor, hit up the socials. Socials. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast.

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Thank you so much. We'll see you all next time. And as always, to be continued.