Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 332 - The Big Lou Deception

Episode Date: April 4, 2022

The boys are back and this time Crendor brought the accents! Who knew our boy was so gifted! Apparently he still makes youtube videos too!? Meanwhile Jesse has given up on love... again. All this and the secret history of ketchup, a girl moving into a retirement home at 21, and the long wait for robot relationships! All this and more on this episode of Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://calm.com/cox to get 40% off unlimited access to Calm. Go to http://getquip.com/crendor to get your first refill free.

Today's episode is brought to you by Quip. Quip is going to get your teeth looking great. Also, today we're brought to you by Calm. Calm is going to get you feeling great. Look how I did that. Anyway, let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog.

This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Gax and Grendor in the morning! What's going on? What was that? What's going on? You tried something new and I appreciate it. Yeah, just try something new.

What's going on? What are you doing? What's going on over there? I sound like the secondary character on a sitcom that shows up. Like, what's going on? What's going on? What are you doing? Just say, hey, what's going on over there? I sound like the secondary character on a sitcom that shows up. It's like, what's going on? Like one of Ray Romano's friends. Yo, Raymond, what are you doing? Let's go to the bar and get something to drink. He's like, I don't know, man.

It's kind of like the kids to take care of Deborah's over there. It's like, come on, man. Come on. We can go have a drink like the good old days back in college. It's like, come on, man. Come on. We can go have a drink like the good old days back in college. It's like, I'm a dad. That is a surprisingly accurate Romano. I was not expecting that from you. No, I got a decent arsenal of voices.

Yeah, I can tell. That is true. I mean, I forget that you make videos. Well, I used to. Damn. My dad will still be like you make those videos with the voices and the characters and i'm like yeah i just tell them yeah but you know i mean once a year now i'll usually do it well that's you know what sometimes that's all it takes just the good the good once a year yeah Yeah. See, the thing is like, I figured out I could do a lot of voices because I didn't want to rely on other people,

man. Ain't that the truth. So I was like, I'll just do my own voices. And then you, you know, if you really have to, you can like mess with the audio to make them sound different.

But I would just, I would just do the leg like that guy, then be like, and then have the, the music. Wow. God, that was the classic.

That was the easy one. And then you go all your the voices you're known for yeah the the ray romano is just the kermit blend it's like a it's like a red blend of wine but it's like the kermit ray the kermit blend definitely sounds like a strain of weed by the way and so you you just gotta like go to the, here I am. Just take a smoke of this, man. It's straight Kermit blend. This tastes like the swamp.

Yeah. So yeah, there's those. I don't even... There's some other voices I could do, but they just... Sometimes if you try to do crazy voices, you'll just hurt your voice. Like, you just... It hurts to do those voices. Oh, I don't know.

I'm obsessed right now with doing the voice of the dude from Moon Knight. I don't know what that is. I can't stop doing it. It is like this British accent that is... It's me, Stevie. Like this guy is. It's me, Stevie. Like this guy is. It's not me, Mork. It's me, Stevie.

Yeah, I can't stop it. I can't stop doing it. That just reminded me. There's like this guy on the radio from a commercial that I keep. It's not even funny, but it's just the way he says what he says. It's funny.

He's like a Chicago guy. You know how they have advertisements for health issues because we're America? Sure, sure. He had gout crystals, and he's like, I had gout crystals. I had them all over. I had them in my liver and my kidneys. Then he goes, it went too far. Every time he goes, it went too far.

Every time he says that, I say it with him. I'm like, it went too far. it went too far. Every time he goes, it went too far. Every time he says that, I say it with him. I'm like, it went too far. It went too far. I love that. I love that. I like saying about every, I'll just be like, oh my God, he just dribbled out of bounds. It went too far. There's a guy who's on the radio and his thing is he sells insurance, but it's like

Jimmy Bob's Insurance Company, right? And it's supposed to be, definitely it's supposed to be for like dudes for sure. And every ad ends with something like, just like you, he's on wife number two. Oh my God. Is that Big Lou? Yes, Big Lou. Oh my God. I've heard the Big Lou.

Just like you, he's eaten too many burgers, too. They're like, just like you, he's on drugs, too. Yeah. What? Yes. And they're like, just call Big Lou. I'm like, I guarantee if I call Big Lou, I'm not going to talk to Lou. I'm going to talk to his friend, Stevie.

I'm going to talk to, like, it's me, Stevie. Like, are you on drugs too stevie no no no i'm not on drug dude every time i hear those ads i laugh when it's like he's like you on wife number two i was like that's not good i know i. I thought that was like a local place, and now it must be national. I think it's national. Yeah. That's so funny. Now I just looked it up, and some guy a year ago gave him two stars. He said, first, apparently, there is no Big Lou.

Oh, what? It's a lie. I don't like that information. Well, now I hate that You ruined everything right now Yeah I was like, oh, that Big Lou, what a crazy character He is like fake

He's the Barbie doll of the insurance world Hold on, I just went to the BigLouLife.com And there's a picture of Big Lou I mean, there's pictures of Aunt Big Lou. So, here's the... I mean, there's pictures of Aunt Jemima too, but that didn't mean she was real. That's true. Okay, what about About Us? Who is Big Lou? Big Lou is

the brand name used... Oh my god, it's true! See? What a lie. What a lie. Big Lou... Listen to this. Big Lou is an every person idea, meaning that he is just like most of our clients shut up so essentially the life insurance company is just like what are you on your second wife eating cheeseburgers and a waste of space come

see us that's all they're saying what sucks is he's fake they're like just like our customers he's not a real person. That sucks. That's dumb. Yeah, that guy. I was about to say that guy. Then I realized it's not a guy. He's non-existent. It went too far.

That's bad. That's bad. Here I was living the dream. There was some big dude named Big Lou who was like, yeah, you know, I picked up my second wife while on vacation in Miami. Nope. Nope. That's a lie. Yeah.

I am also completely blown away and disappointed. I am very disappointed. That sucks. I hate that. How did we get here? Oh, yeah. Ray Romano. That's right.

How did we get here? Oh, yeah, Ray Romano. That's right. So, oh, yeah, speaking of videos, the five-minute news segment, very good this week. Everyone loved it. Whoever did that, really good. Yeah.

One of the best ones I've ever done. I would say they should do a weekly segment. I would say so, too. I would say every Friday, someone, whoever's in charge of that, should give a person a block of time to just say whatever they want. Yeah, because they definitely don't have enough time on another show. They do the same thing. I feel like it just all blends together.

No one will care. Exactly. Yeah. And unlike Big Lou, we're real. That's pretty neat. Yeah. That's pretty neat. Yeah, that's pretty neat. What else you doing? Dude, oh my God.

I have a story for you. Monday, while getting coffee, I was waiting in line and it was just taking an awful long time. It was bad. And there was a young woman behind me. And she made a comment and i like responded no one else said anything to her but she like made a comment about it and i like you know made a playful response like oh yeah you know this this happens but whatever and we started talking and after i don't know five ten minutes she was like well hey if you ever want to go get coffee someplace that doesn't take a long time, here's my number. Give me a call.

I was like, whoa, Jesse, you dog. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Very excited. Had a hop in my step, a skip in my step, whatever. The rest of the day, I was great. So the next day, I call her. I'm like, hey, do you want to go out uh and get like you know just we

can go get coffee it doesn't have to be anything crazy she's like I would love to I would love to go out with you on Saturday so I said awesome I know this coffee place let's go there let's meet like nine we'll get some coffee we'll go walk around's in Venice. So it's like pretty chill. Everything will be great. So here's, let me give you the setup. When I talked to her, I discovered she has zero, like I'm not going to say zero. She has social media presence, but only in that she's in other people's photos. Right. So I was like, Oh my God. Yes. She doesn't like deal with the internet at all. She works as an insurance salesman. Like actually I think she's an insurance adjuster, which probably sucks.

I was like, she has no interest in the internet. She's not trying to be like famous. She's just a normal person. How cool is this? Finally, everything I've been saying to you for years, I finally found a person who was like a normal human being. then she was like so what do you do krendor krendor i don't know i've never seen anyone look so confused and like wait what like the entire time and i was like well you know i work for myself. I make YouTube videos. I stream.

She's like, so what is streaming? I'm like, oh, it's, you know, like you will play a video game or you'll talk with your audience. I literally had to explain it to her like she was my parents. She did not at all comprehend what I was saying. And she was like, so like TikTok. I'm like, not like, well, you know what? Kind of, yes. But different. She's like, well, know what kind of yes but different she's like

well i know tiktok my cousins are on there and i was like okay all right so like imagine that but like you know on twitch and i'm sure if you ask your cousins they'll tell you what twitch is or youtube she's like i know youtube like yeah i have a youtube channel i've been doing that for 12 years and she's like wow so that's like all you do? Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been very successful at it. It's pretty, you know, I feel like I've done well for myself. And she's like, but how? Right? And I'm not going to be that guy who's like, are you asking me if I'm broke?

Like, what are you asking? Yeah. Right? And so I tried to like hit, like, I'm all right. I'm doing fine. And so she kept asking, like, so what is it you do daily? Like, daily for your job. She's like, for me, I go into an office and I, like, work on paperwork and I handle calls and I do this.

And I go to meetings. What do you do? Like, well, I go into an office and I meet with my team. And then I will, like, record video games or make a new show or stream a video game. And she's like, so you just game a lot? I'm like, yeah. And she goes, do you game all the time? Like, no, I don't game at home.

In fact, my home is pretty bare bones empty. Most of my nerdy stuff is at the office. At home, really, I'm of the vibe of like if I meet a person and they have like a design for what they want our home life to be it can be whatever they want because they honestly don't care right i'm just it's not it will never be a big thing for me and so i'm hoping that's sort of like oh she'll get that i'm not gonna spend all day being like you know what i love about naruto right right but she straight up just like looks at me and she goes how do you feel about hikes i'm like i mean i could walk that's what you're asking she's like right but i like hike all the time i'm like oh so you're like

a big hiker she's like love hiking huge fan of hiking oh my god didn't i dude i called hiking like two weeks ago didn't i dude every one thing i've learned is that every person in la says they love hiking but like i don't know anyone who actually goes hiking with the frequency that everyone else in LA says they do. So I was like, when was the last time you went hiking? She's like pre pandemic. And I was like, what? How are you saying you're a huge hiker when you haven't gotten hiking in two years?

Right. And I'm like, if anything, the last two years is a perfect time to hike. Yeah. And so, but she's telling me how much she loves hiking, how much she loves, like, traveling. I was like, oh, I travel a lot, actually. It's one of the things I love to do. She was like, well, I mean, like, for what purpose? Like, what do you mean?

She's like, well, like, for nerdy things? Or, I was like, oh, my God. No. So, I will skip to the end and simply say that we both kind of like, well, this was fun. All right. Thanks for the coffee. And I like went to the car and was like, I'm going to die alone. That's it.

What's the point? And I have gone through every conceivable type of human and every single one. I'm just like, well, that was a failure. And so now I thought my key to success was finding someone who didn't know anything about it i'm gonna let you know failure absolute failure i was like that sucked i never want to have that conversation again i never want to meet a person who's like i don't get it i you have to get it from moment one yeah i'd say you at least some you need somebody who at least knows what it is and about it a bit because otherwise there's like

that's too big of a part of your life to have somebody know nothing about I know it was man I don't even know I feel like you know I keep saying man I just keep finding like the craziest people to date maybe crazy is where I belong

maybe like that that that's where i need to just operate in because at least crazy and i we understand each other like we get each other like this whole like she she was so normal it was boring yeah i'm a huge fan of sushi i'm like it's la who isn't and then she's like i uh love to travel i'm like oh where do you like to travel and she was like palm springs i like to go to san francisco like so I love to travel. I'm like, oh, where do you like to travel? And she was like, Palm Springs. I like to go to San Francisco. I'm like, so you don't travel. And then I'm like, what else do you like to do?

And she's like, well, you know, I'm a huge fan of reading. I'm like, oh, what do you read? She starts listing off magazines. I was like, oh, my God. No, I'm out. I couldn't do it. And I was like, you really are very, very boring. And, yeah, I think I need, like, excitement in order to keep me. Because I need to be you really are very, very boring. And yeah, I think I need like excitement

in order to keep me, because I need to be overly stimulated all the time. And if I'm not, I lose interest so quickly. So that was my Saturday morning. How old was she? 36 I think. So she was like closer to your age then. Yeah, I think she said

she was 36, but honestly I can't remember. I think I checked out by that point. Yeah, she just sounds like kind of boring even to me and i'm already boring that's what i'm saying but like you you the fact that she like didn't have any understanding of the internet to me originally i was like oh my god that's perfect it's what i've been looking for i've always joked with you like oh i want to find a librarian who like reads books. Like this girl on paper, I was like, she could be the one. Insurance adjuster. Adjusters inspect property damage or personal injury claims to determine how much the insurance company should pay for the loss. Yeah.

So basically they go out and they pay you less than probably what you should deserve. Right? And so, but even then, I was like, okay, so she has a boring job. Right? Yeah. And so, but even then, I was like, okay, so she has a boring job. And the things she likes seem pretty plain Jane, like normal, average American things. But like everything she kept saying was just like, yeah, I'd like to go hike.

I'm like, oh, where do you hike? And then she'd like say a thing and it'd be like, yeah, last time I was like 2019. I'm like, what? You don't like to hike. You hiked once. It seems like you don't do anything. I don't know, man. I don't once. It seems like you don't do anything. I don't know, man. I don't know what I need.

I don't know what I'm looking for. I truly in that moment gave up. I was like, well, this is it. This is it for me. I'm just going to roll. You've given up many times and you've arrived back here. I feel like it's just a cycle. You're in the cycle. This wasn't a Jesse Cox

Date someone they turn out to be like A little too much And then I'm like boy I need to stop dating This was like I found a normal human being Who wanted to spend time with me And the first date they were like I'm too normal for you And I was like you are very too normal for me But I'm trying to picture

Like what she does so she like works then she just goes home reads a magazine probably watches tv about like people going hiking and then goes to bed like is that it probably yeah everything that i brought up of like things i thought were super fun that i did like i mentioned like oh yeah i've gotten a lot of great experiences traveling all over the world i got to this stuff and it's pretty amazing. And I'm like really thankful that I have all these people that, you know, watch my content. I think it's crazy. She's like, well, what?

Like, why though? Why do they watch? I'm like, great question. I honestly don't know. I hope it's because I'm entertaining. And she's like, but what do you do that's entertaining? And I'm like, I mean, I stream and I guess I have a fun personality. She's like, and that's all it takes?

And I was like, I don't know what to tell you. Here's the thing. You're trying to explain it from like an internet perspective of somebody that already just watches it. You have to explain it from something they understand. So whenever I mention these things things i tie it into like tv or some weird thing i'm like oh yeah it's like a talk show i'm like oprah on the internet i'm just talking to people and people are clapping and listening they're like oh i know oprah i get it you're just like an internet oprah and i'm like yeah sure like you gotta you gotta tie it together

with something it's yeah it's hard for me to do that i can't i'm not gonna because i can't say that i'm an internet oprah like i can't look myself in the face of me Like yeah, I'm the internet Oprah. I mean I barely am either. That's how I explain it It's like an understand that somewhat there there But I try to be honest like I don't want to just be like this is a thing like I don't want to make assumptions So I try to explain it the best I can and like a natural way But I guess you're probably right because most the time when I've dated people in the past, they got it. So I've never had to just like explain it to someone like they were a child.

And so she just didn't get it and that's fine. And I, you know, I'm sure she'll find someone who gets her world, but like, God, what an awkward hour that was just like trying. And the worst part was is that I would ask her about her job and she would be like yeah you know pretty standard five days a week and uh i get my car i drive around la i uh you know crunch some numbers it's pretty boring actually and i'm like in my mind i'm thinking that sounds great for me i love pretty boring and i'd be like so what else do you do and she's like really that's kind of it i was like so you know that's what i was like

do you like to travel she's like love it i love to go to palm springs and i've been to san francisco a few times and i'm like wait what i hate traveling and i've traveled more than this girl that's what i'm saying i was like so what else do you know? Where else have you been? She's like, I mean, nowhere really. But like, I love traveling. I'm like, you mean like moving from point A to point B? Like the concept of travel? I couldn't figure out.

Going from my home to this coffee shop was amazing. That's what I'm saying. I was like, maybe she has a a different like perspective on life than me. I have some friends that are like normal like that. Like one of my high school friends, he's like really normal and he's just like, yeah, work five days a week, watch sports, drink beer.

It's what I do. And every time I see him, it's like, how you doing? He's just like, same old, same old. But there's like that, there's that consistency to it. You know what I mean? Like I know he's going gonna be same old unless some weird shit happens then he's got a crazy story yeah i can't i can't live that life i need something i need something crazy like which is which is why i i this is why i enjoy being like the bachelor life is because i can straight up just like do whatever i want when i want. And I immediately saw myself with her being like,

all right, got to be up at 6 a.m. So I can go to work. But like, don't let me wake you. Okay, well, I'll see you tonight at 5. We'll watch our favorite reality TV show. I'm like, fuck. I was like, no, no. Like, I envisioned our future together.

I was like, no. Oh, no. I mean, that's the thing. I'm not going to try to change her. Even though I have friends like that, I could not live that life. I would go crazy. Like, I always said growing up, people are like, what do you want to be and

i'm like i want to like work from home that was like because i was like i just hate the concept of like nine to five like if a normal job was like you can work two hours and then you take some time you work three hours take some time you do this and then like i like sporadic weird schedules and that's why uh i'd hate that so that's why my entire life was striving to not do that. Yeah. I don't see myself changing my personality. Like I'm just too old for that shit. Like I'm not going to become like the guy who.

When I talk to myself frequently. Like I will say things to myself like, oh, Jesse, oh my God, you idiot. Oh, you goober. Right? Like I'll be in the office working and I'll stand up from, you know, being at the desk working on a thing and I'll be like, oh my God. Oh, this is so. And then, you know, someone in the office would be like, Jesse, what's the matter? Which is basically me being like, please talk to me.

I'm like, oh, you know, this company, it's me. Like that kind of stuff. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It sounds like every time you talk to yourself, something bad is happening. Well, probably true because I need someone to say something. I think we discovered this. because I need someone to say something.

I think we discovered this. I am one of those, I think, love language peoples where I need someone to say stuff to me. Oh, yeah, the affirmations. Yeah, we learned that while watching that girl at your house. Oh, yeah. She was like, good job, good job, good job. And I was like, I think I love this woman. The wacky wild ASMR where she's just like,

look at my finger, look at my finger. Yes. Good job, good job. Yes, every time she said good job, I was like, I've never felt tingles before, but now I get it. I get it right now. Yeah, I think I just need someone in my life to just be like, Jesse, good job.

Good job, buddy. Good job. That's my relationship. If I can find someone who every like, I don't know, three minutes shouts good job at me, I might be very happy. It's funny because I had the opposite problem growing up where like my mom would always just be like good job like you're doing great and she was like that person constantly and then uh i remember when i first started youtube and then my family i was like i

don't want to show my family they're just gonna be like good job and i was like i want to show the internet i want the criticism and i remember them being like this kind of sucks and i was like yeah yeah nice the real criticism wow because it was i had so much of the one-sided way i needed the balance and now i've now i'm in a nice middle you know a nice healthy middle not me i need i need someone to constantly be like, you're doing good. You're doing great, Jesse. Yeah. But I think that's from like growing up a fat kid. You never have anyone who's just like, you're doing great.

It's always like, you can do a little bit better. You know, if you worked out a little bit more, or you did this a little bit more, or you like changed this about you, or you fixed this, and so nothing was ever like, awesome job, my dude. No, I have a complete opposite. My parents was ever like, awesome job, my dude. No, I have complete opposite. My parents are just like, you are doing fantastic. Very nice.

Very good job. And I'm like, I mean, I'm not doing that great. And they're like, no, you're doing very good. Like constantly through my whole life. Even like when I was getting C's and D's, my dad would be like, hey, you know what? I got C's too. You're good.

You're all right. D's, my dad would be like, you know what? I got C's too. You're good. You're alright. That's how I think I came to accept my content on a mediocrity level. You know what I mean? Because I've always been proud of mediocrity. It means I'm not failing. And if you're not

failing, even if you're not succeeding, you're still doing something right. The internet helped balance it out a bit. But then I also gained the anxiety from it, so everything has its own so yeah downfall not from that aspect but just from them both being extremely anxious people i just i just it just freaked like i couldn't wait to tell you about this because i've been thinking about it all day just like i can't believe i finally got what i wanted and it was like a dog chasing his tail and i was like well now that i have it that kind of sucks in my mind i envisioned

someone who had nothing to do with the internet being like the perfect foil for me because we could talk about anything but the internet but when i talked to her about stuff i was just like everything you'd want to talk about sucks it's so boring and it isn't like you're not like an intellectual where you're like i've read a bunch of books and i want to her about stuff, I was just like, everything you'd want to talk about sucks. It's so boring. And it isn't like, you're not like an intellectual where you're like, I've read a bunch of books and I want to tell you about them. It was literally just like, so the Kardashians. I was like, stop. The thing is, like, I can listen to people talk about something like the Kardashians if they're, like, actually passionate about it. Nah, I can't do it i don't care about like celebrity gossip it doesn't affect me at all i don't like someone today in

chat uh when i was streaming earlier we're like so what do you think about will smith was like i honestly don't care like i just oh that's the thing i don't have anything to add i just yeah like i don't care whatsoever but i can still listen to somebody talk about it. That's like if somebody wants to talk about, like, sailing. Like, I don't give a shit about sailing, but I can listen to them talk about it if they care about it. But the difference is, like, with sailing, I feel like I'll learn something. But when someone talks about celebrity gossip, I honestly feel like they're wasting my time. But that means you're trying to get something out of the conversation instead of just listening.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, I don't. I listen intently with the objective of learning a thing from listening. I see. Well, yeah, you're trying to learn something to benefit yourself. Yes, yes. But if I'm listening, I'm just trying to listen to learn about it. I don't care if I gain something from it.

But that means you're benefiting yourself there, too. How? You just said I'm listening to learn something about them. Yeah, learn about them. Yeah, all right. Touche. Touche. I want it for myself.

You're right. I'm very selfish like that. That's true. Called out. Called out. I guess you could say knowing more about them gives you some sort of power over them in a way. Whoa. Okay, Machiavelli. I'm just trying to have drugs somebody's gonna be like oh crap all right you can do benefit from learning that

all right i'm just i already hear the guy in the comments i'm just trying to like cover my bases sure yeah all right uh but i don't like i just i just enjoy hearing about other people's you know thoughts and opinions and passions and whatever it might be. But that doesn't mean I'm going to care about it in the end. Yeah, the problem is I'm very honest and open about what I care about. So I won't even pretend.

I don't want to sit there for a conversation that's going to take an hour where you tell me about all your bullshit. It's like I just don't, you know. I don't want to sit there for a conversation that's going to take an hour where you tell me about all your bullshit. It's like I just don't, you know. I don't know, man. I don't think I'm built to handle real relationships. I need, like, I don't know.

Where are the robots, man? Where are the robots? Relationship robots. I don't want to have to deal with that do you love me I just want a computer that's like hello Smithers you are quite good at turning me on there's an article from a day ago that says, I'm an ethics expert, and I think sex robots will be good for society as humans advance with variety. Hell yeah.

There you go. Thanks, ethics guy. We just have to get past the stigma that me and my robot girlfriend are going to, you know what? No. I'm going to start it right now. Love is love, man. Then a day before that article, the Sun also posted,

sex bot. More people would have a threesome with a robot than invite a person over for sex. What if instead I just pose as a sex bot? Do you think that would work? Greetings. Romantic couple in his eye. Fox bot. 3,000.

He says he is what he is. I mean, I'm not going to question it. Nice. Yeah. Hold on. Now I need to care about this. Now I need to care about... Gotcha. I need to... to i say care here i thought

i said here well well i mean i gotta care about this yeah the survey was conducted by sexual my girlfriend over your house you're gonna have to damn right you're gonna have to care uh sample size of 3300 i mean for this type of study, that's pretty big. I thought it was going to be like 100 or something. It does suggest that some people are fairly open-minded to the idea of having relations with sex bots. In fact,

more prefer to be intimate with a sex bot instead of having a casual human lover. Well, yeah, that's like one involves emotions and emotions and like friendships and like breaking friendships and breaking relationships and being like oh you cared more about that person than me and like all these different things and one's just like ah it's a robot like who cares yeah and then they come to life and then they kill us all which is why i'm

getting in on the ground floor as being an ally that That's a good thread. I wonder if Big Lou's a robot. No, Big Lou's just not real. He's gotta be real. We need to, like, they have to create Robot Big Lou at least. Much like you. I'm a robot too. No, we

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What can I say? My A's and my O's. Slash cox, save 40% off. That's calm.com slash cox. All right, Crandall, let's go to chapter seven. Let's go to chapter seven. Let's go to chapter seven. Oh, man.

I'm not going to lie. I was not paying attention. I'm in the clouds right now. I can't see any of the traffic. Yeah, I don't see anything. I mean, if you're out there driving around, you've got to watch out because it's cloudy. Especially up here in the clouds. Back to you.

Alright. I mean, that's a terrible place to be if you're doing a traffic report. Let's go to the weather. Weather. Let's see. We got a weather request. Somebody says, Any chance you do weather for Muff-Co-Caven, Ireland?

I mean, yes. That's the answer, yes. Yeah, we should have did this for, like, St. Patrick's Day. We didn't. We'll do it now. We didn't know about Muff Cocaven. Yeah, Muff Caven, Ireland. Or Cocaven.

I don't know. This says Caven. It's Cocaven. I don't know how it works. It is currently 29 degrees. Feels like 25. A high of 52. Low of 44.

Humidity 95%. Pressure 30.38 inches. Visibility 9 miles. Wind 4 miles an hour going southeast. Sunrisin at 6.55 a.m. Setting at 8.06 p.m. Dewpoint 28. UV index 0.

And the moon phase is a waxing crescent. We don't have waxing crescents all that often usually it's gibbous oh yeah maybe this is the ireland special it is and uh let's see today it's gonna be a mix of clouds sun in the morning then becoming cloudy periods of light rain this afternoon not as cold high 51 winds 10 to 15 mile an hour. Chance to rain 70%. Overnight 44. 10 to 20 mile an hour. Winds chance to rain 80%.

And if you needed to guess it, it's going to be raining and about 51 degrees the entire week. 53 showers. 54 light rain. 49 light rain, 47 rain. Friday, rain. Saturday, snow to rain. Sunday, rain. Monday, rain. Tuesday, rain. Wednesday, rain. Thursday, rain.

Friday, rain. Saturday, rain. Sunday, rain. What the hell? And, yeah, pretty much just ranging from 47 to 58 degrees with rain. April showers man damn yeah dude i love rain we had some rain uh today it's great we had rain monday and uh my roof leaked so oh that's right you got they came and fixed it they came and fixed it but like you know whatever

still still leaked which shouldn't happen but they it, but it's still leaking, and they didn't fix it. No, they fixed it again on Monday. Yeah. I see. Well, that's the weather. All right. Let's go to sports. Sports.

Sports, sports, sports. So in sports, we had the final four. Final four in college. UNC took down Duke. And Kansas took down Villanova. So that means the championship game will be Kansas versus North Carolina. So that should be a good one. Also, final game of Coach K's career.

Obviously, he was hoping to go out on top, but he got Final Four. That's pretty good. That's not bad. Yeah, it's not bad at all. So then we had NBA standings. We're down to the final four or five games for a lot of NBA teams before the playoffs start. We got Miami, Milwaukee, Boston, Philadelphia, Toronto, and Chicago

right now in the top six. You got seven Cleveland, eight Atlanta, nine Charlotte, and ten Brooklyn as the play-in teams could change. Then you got Phoenix, Memphis, Golden State, Dallas with Utah and Denver. Look at the clinch playoff spots. Then the play-ins, you got Minnesota, Clippers, Pelicans, and Spurs with the Lakers trying to get back into the play-in, but they kind of suck.

Over in hockey, you've got the Panthers up the top with the Maple Leafs and Lightning right behind. You got the Hurricanes with the Rangers and the Penguins right behind. You've got the Avalanche way up there with the Wild behind them. And you've got the Calgary Flames, the Kings, and the Oilers over there. And then baseball spring training is occurring. Yes.

That's sports. That's it. occurring. Yes. That's sports. That's it. Great. Great. Okay. What is our fact of the day? Fact of the day. Fact of the day.

Ketchup was once used as medicine. What? How? In what way? What did it treat? This was often sold at pharmacies in the 1830s. It was believed to be a cure for indigestion.

I mean, maybe? Because it has the vinegar and the, like, maybe? Maybe, but if anything, it's gonna probably cause indigestion. I mean, I guess. It is acidic. Maybe that's what you need.

There is, like, people have apple cider vinegar to offset stuff at times, but that's, like, super acidic. But I think it's when it, like, goes into your body, it becomes alkaline. I don't know how it works. I've just heard people do that. Don't ask me. Now I'm going to throw in another one for you. Peas

are the oldest vegetables. Really? Where are peas originally from? The oldest known vegetable is the pea which tracks back to the Stone Age settlements over 8,000 years ago. This vegetable has been cultivated by humans for centuries. They don't say, but 8,000 years ago in the Stone Age, I guess.

That's fascinating. I never would have thought peas. That's the facts of the day. All right. What is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. So I was looking for the classic Florida news stories, but then I stumbled across. As you do.

Yeah, but then I stumbled across this one, and I was like, this sounds like a story for us. Quote. Quote. Quote Quote People think I'm weird as I live In an old people's home At age 21 and I love it This is the most us story

I think we've talked about this I don't think we have What if we just did that Three weeks ago Do you think this is a fan It's possible This is a person who listened to us and said, like, what if I did that? Let's see.

Hold on. They link. Oh, my God. Oh, they're posting TikToks and stuff about it. So, no, they probably don't watch us. Yeah, never mind. A 21-year- old has revealed how people find it bizarre that she genuinely lives in an old people's home but she doesn't care because

she loves it the woman who posts tiktok with the handle playboy lacroix moved into a retirement complex after struggling to find any other accommodation in the town where she needs to be for work but she doesn't work in the home. She regularly takes to the app to give tours of her unusual living situation where there's regularly old ladies playing board games and free baked goods on offer. In fact, people in the complex are so welcoming, they regularly leave food on her doorstep for her coming in from work and people regularly lock their doors so it's safe.

You're not going to lie? doorstep for her coming in from work and people regularly lock their doors so it's safe when asked like that's kind of sweet that they leave stuff for her yeah i mean the old people are just like ah the young people i haven't seen them in years that's kind of very sweet uh when asked by her followers how she ended up living in the accommodation the woman explained that the town decided to open up the free apartments due to a lack of rental properties in the area because of the nature of my job i need to be at work and i travel a lot but it was impossible to find housing so this town has a lot of people who come here for that reason and they had no housing other than low income so they started allowing people to live in their old folks home because it was one of the only rental units that would have openings. There's a tech school in town and there's a handful

of about three or four people my age that live here. But 90% of the people that live here are old folks because they've lived here since before the city bought it and allow other people to live here. It's still very much an old people's home. I feel like I'm in Golden Girls. Cheap, spacious and safe with free food and lovely. It's actually a pretty nice story.

There's actually other stories like this. There's in the UK in 2021, a girl moved into a retirement home. Yeah, there's... Wow, there's other, this is 2016, a 21 year old Drake student lives in a retirement home. Wow. I mean, I guess this does happen.

I've said wow so many times because I'm jealous. I guess this does happen frequently. But then, some people in the comments are upset. Father Dougal Maguire says, She's taken up space that an elderly person could need. Well, listen up, Father Dougal Maguire. Nobody's there.

These are empty rooms. Nobody's taken them. They wouldn't have given it to her if it was, you know, like... I don't get it. It seems like there's plenty of space. Yeah. Let's see. I don't get it It seems like there's plenty of space Yeah Uh Let's see It's gotta be

And I got five thumbs up Well I mean that's just People complain and in theory they're like There could be someone that needs that home If there was someone that needed that space They would get in that space But what it is is it's a business And so they aren't just gonna give space away If there was someone that needed that space, they would get in that space. But what it is, is it's a business, and so they aren't just going to give space away.

This girl offered to pay, and no one was offering to pay, and so they took her. It makes sense if it's a business. If you're hoping that there's free elderly care, that's a societal problem, not the nursing home's problem. And maybe, Father, we should deal with that first, but whatever. Shorty87 says, So given tours and a retirement home, did the relatives give consent for their vulnerable family members to be filmed and exploited on social media so she could get attention? Don't think so. Bet she's just there for Bed Baths, the dirty cow.

What? Oh my God. These people are crazy. Yeah, I know. That guy seems 100% like he's, you know, not a crazy person. Like, these sound like the people who just complain about everything everywhere. Yeah, this girl, like, they, everyone there, they're leaving her snacks. They clearly like that she's there.

Yeah. Yeah, that's, I don't know. Yeah, that guy's a dick. cares about those dudes yeah it's it's stupid i think this is great you know they did i think it's i think it's cute if anything there's like always the younger people are like oh stupid old people but she's actually like uh appreciating the old people and they get to see like some like oh they're doing the young people tiktok things yeah I have to believe that they help each other you know yeah

yes you know what it's fun I like it I like it too and the only people mad are just these like grouchy grouches you know what we got no time for grouchy grouches that's a what? We got no time for grouchy grouches. That's a fact. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a... Yeah. That's the new story of the day. That's the new story, yeah. Okay, well that's it for us. Thank you so much for, you know, listening or watching or having fun with this podcast.

Grendor, hit up with the socials. Socials are all over. We've got youtube.com slash cox and grendor podcast, Crendor. Hit up with the socials. Socials are all over. We've got youtube.com slash coxincrendor podcast, all one word. Go to YouTube. You can hear all these episodes over there. You can also go to youtube.com slash Crendor. Or wait, no, that's me. Youtube.com slash coxincrendor.

Ah, jeez. Without the podcast part at the end. And you can find all the animations, good funny stuff. We're on Spotify. We're on SoundCloud. We're on iTunes. We're all over the place end. And you can find all the animations. Good funny stuff. We're on Spotify. We're on SoundCloud. We're on iTunes. We're all over the place. Also, you can find our main stuff.

This is where I say. YouTube.com slash Crandor. YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox. Twitch.tv slash Crandor. Twitch.tv slash Jesse Cox. Facebook Crandor. Facebook Jesse Cox. Patreon Crandor.

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And as always, shake the rhino. Shake the rhino, y'all.