Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 333 - Legend of the River Troll

Episode Date: April 11, 2022

The boys are back and this time Jesse is forced to apologize by his mother. Meanwhile Crendor has a run in with Chipotle-Bot. For some reason they start talking about Furbies and then the next thing y...ou know River Trolls. It's par for the course on this new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://meundies.com/crendor to get 25% off your first Membership item or 15% off your first order plus free shipping. Go to http://hellofresh.com/cox16 and use code cox16 for up to 16 free meals AND 3 free gifts!

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode is brought to you by HelloFresh. HelloFresh is going to get you that fresh, good food to your house super easy. Also, today we're brought to you by MeUndies. MeUndies are the undies that I have on me. Now let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. I'm Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. We're broadcasting live, live, live, live, it's Grendel in the morning. That's one of my favorite podcasts.
Starting point is 00:00:50 Long title, but you know what? It's fine. Yeah. It's way better than the old version of the show. Yeah, that one sucked. That one wasn't very good. Yeah, how's it going? Can I tell you today, speaking of this show that isn't very good. Yeah, how's it going? Can I tell you today, speaking of this show that isn't very good, a guy came into my stream today and was like, dude, I just want to say, Jesse, I love you, man.
Starting point is 00:01:17 I haven't watched any of your stuff, but I love Cox and Crandall. And I was like, whoa! So I think I found the one person who does not like do anything outside of this one show which to that guy say you are as rare as a unicorn you may not exist you were like a dodo you were the last of your kind I don't know I've seen I've legit seen some
Starting point is 00:01:42 people that are like yeah I just watch Cox and Crandor or listen to it. I guess if you're watching, it's kind of weird. But, but never has, like, how do they find us? I mean. And why do they care about us outside of our like normal stuff that we do? This is like the ancillary, whatever word I was just trying to say. This is like the ancillary of podcast ancillaries. Exactly, exactly.
Starting point is 00:02:08 Well, I would say that some people don't care about video games. All right? Or maybe some people back in the day when they were younger and they'd, like, watch us with, like, PB and Dodger and all that stuff. Then maybe now they're older. They got, like, a kid. They got a wife or a husband or a family and, like, all that. They got a job and stuff. And they can't even watch, like, streams or, like a kid. They got a wife or a husband or a family and like all that.
Starting point is 00:02:26 They got a job and stuff. And they can't even watch like streams or like video. They don't care about video games. Don't play as much. Maybe they're just like, you know what? I just want to hear a podcast. I just want to hear some goofs. Well, this is the place to come for all the goofs. All the ancillaries.
Starting point is 00:02:38 So many goofs. Plus there's probably people that found us on YouTube Looking up that one bear Big Hank or whatever Oh my god Hank the Tank Yeah I believe that Hank the Tank spoke to me And you know what I'm proud I'm proud that we covered that as much as we did
Starting point is 00:02:55 And we probably got new viewers this week Just from people being like Big Lou's fake I gotta listen to these guys more often These guys really know what's up They're on the cutting edge of news broadcast. Breaking news. Ancillaries have taken over. So yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:17 What were we talking about? What did you say? I don't know. You asked me what was going on in my life and that's just something that came up in my mind. So can I tell you another thing that happened? Okay. That I had to go on the defensive this week last week i said that i went out on a date with this girl well my mom messaged me like jesse you should apologize to everyone i was like what she's like you came off like an asshole i'm like what and here's the
Starting point is 00:03:39 thing i had another person messaging me that too and they were like you know what it just sounds like she's from a small town and she probably moved to la and like she just you know when she says she travels her definition of travel isn't like explore the world like you hot shot her definition travel she like goes to to palm springs first off she was born and raised in southern california so i'm not gonna like i'm not gonna fight that Second off, to my mother specifically, when someone says they travel, the implication is that they travel, not jump on the 405 and drive for two hours.
Starting point is 00:04:18 You know what I mean? There's a whole implication with the word travel. I don't know. I was just like, what are you talking about? I'm the bad guy? She told me she travels and likes to go hiking, but she doesn't do either of those things. I was like, I'm not going to apologize. I didn't do anything wrong.
Starting point is 00:04:38 I was being honest. She said she did these things and then didn't do them. I was commenting on that, not the fact that like, well, she isn't up to my standards. No, she clearly isn't up to my standards. We went out on a date. I just wasn't into her once we went on the date. Even my own mom came after me. Oh, Crandor. Did she say anything else?
Starting point is 00:04:58 Here's the direct quote from my mother. I am disappointed in you. Ouch, dude. Ouch. We're hitting the roots again. It's like my mom would have been like, hey, you. Ouch, dude. Ouch. Dude, we're hitting the roots again. It's like my mom would have been like, hey, you got a C. Good job. My mom has no problem telling me what she thinks I've screwed up. None whatsoever.
Starting point is 00:05:17 Talking trash about a middle class woman that can only afford to go to San Francisco and Palm Springs makes you look pompous. I didn't think that's what I said. I didn't think that's what I said. I didn't think that's what I said. I was upset that she said she likes to travel. And then when I said, oh, where have you been? She said Palm Springs and San Francisco. That's, that's, I was saying That's true you don't know about her financial situation
Starting point is 00:05:49 She might be rich she could travel wherever she wants The idea of I like to travel Yeah It has a connotation to it And maybe I am pompous Because I imagine that travel is A broader term than just like I go to the same places
Starting point is 00:06:04 Over and over again. You know what I mean? Right. I mean, I wouldn't, I do this, I go to the same places over and over again, but I don't say I travel. Even though I have, like when I travel, I'm going to like San Antonio or like Boston or England or like, I don't know. Yeah, you're traveling around like, I don't know, man. It's just. It could be like, oh, I don't know, man. It could be like, oh, I traveled from my chair to my car.
Starting point is 00:06:30 I traveled. Yes, yes. It's the word usage that I was upset about. That's what I was saying. I'm not upset that she like went to San Francisco and I'm not upset she went to Palm Springs. I don't care. In fact, it doesn't bother me it's just that that was one of the examples of what i was saying to you about how i didn't feel a connection to her not that i was making fun of her for it but because i was expecting something different and
Starting point is 00:06:57 what i received was not what i was expecting and i was like oh we have a disconnect here that's what i was trying to say i was trying to make it comical, not like, and now self-analytical Jesse will have a conversation with his dear friend, Krendor, about the ins and outs of dating in Southern California in the early 2022 years. Like, no, I was just being goofy. Anyway, continuing on. The show is not goofy. The show is serious. It's ancillary. And it just dives into the depths
Starting point is 00:07:30 of the human mind. Yes, well, continuing on, my mother. Remember, you came from a family that worked every day and could only afford those kinds of things. Not everyone has money.
Starting point is 00:07:46 So she may be boring to you, but she is a basic middle-class American. Don't make fun of your audience. I was like, whoa, first off only rich Saudi princes listen to this show. That's true. Second.
Starting point is 00:07:59 Also, please subscribe with Twitch prime. I need it. I mean, God. Yeah. Second, I wasn't, I'm not trying to make fun of anyone.
Starting point is 00:08:09 That wasn't my objective. I was simply saying that we were not compatible at all. And also, also, that's not true. Because we went to Florida. I went to D.C. when I was a kid. I went to New York with my dad when I was on a business trip. We'd go and see my grandparents in Pennsylvania all the time. When I was, like, we would, we went to Georgia and we visited. Like, we traveled around.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Yeah. So, like, you know, and maybe that means I'm lucky. I don't know. And if that's the case, then that's fine. But, like, you know, and maybe that means I'm lucky. I don't know. And if that's the case, then that's fine. But, like. Well, wait, your mom said don't make fun of your audience? I'm talking down to those in our audience who cannot afford to travel a great deal. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:08:58 We got some, like, we got some rich audience people out there. Dude, I've got some, got some people that listen to me. They're just like, oh yeah, I'm like a ultra super tech wizard for the government identifying disease particles. And I'm like, I don't know what the shit you just said. You're making more money than me.
Starting point is 00:09:19 Our audience talks down to us for being honest. The one guy, I was just like, Krendor, I thought, what happened to being Buffdor? And I was like, is he saying I don't look like I go to the gym? Because I still go to the gym. Damn, dude. I still go four or five times.
Starting point is 00:09:34 Here's the thing. I downgraded from, like, trying to bulk up to just trying to be healthy. Yeah, you're trying to be, like, Fitdor. Yeah, exactly. So, like, when I did my physical therapy with my neck they were like you should really just do less weights and more reps for like all your different muscle groups so you don't over strain one group so if you just like power train like i'm going bicep then like your other muscles around it aren't as strong so you're not training them and then they everything starts over compensating at parts so you need to like just
Starting point is 00:10:04 work on everything and so i was like yeah i'm just gonna go back to doing that and then plus you have less risk of injury because you're not being like yo what's right see but that's the thing is like you i'm used to just people that we don't know saying something about us you know like so the dude who was like yeah i think that that you know what you were saying about this girl like i don't know i didn't like that like that i'm used to like okay i pissed off a random person my bad but when your mom i was like all right did i screw up like i don't know if i did it like i feel like i did nothing wrong but my mom insists i did so because I'm a good son. I am so sorry to both that woman and anyone in the audience for thinking less of you. But I'm just saying the implication was there that the traveling meant traveling, not taking vacations.
Starting point is 00:10:55 You know what I mean? Like there's a difference in my mind. Well, then you're just apologizing because you're like getting called out about it. Well, yeah. I mean, otherwise I wouldn't. No. That's what I'm saying. Listen, I don't care.
Starting point is 00:11:08 I'm Internet Oprah. I'm just like, I was just getting him to talk about his feelings and apologize and move on. Give him the old ancillary. Yeah. So that happened.
Starting point is 00:11:20 And I was like, cool. Thanks, Mom. And then the other fun thing that happened this week, I went and I went to go get a haircut. And I was like cool thanks mom And then the other fun thing that happened this week I went and I went to go get a haircut And I was at the barber So there's one dude in front of me
Starting point is 00:11:32 He was like an old man I'm talking like Old But he was also You know that weird old where they're like 90 But also still look like they're kind of like 60, like that old. Ah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:48 Where you can tell they're very old, but they still have that like young look. And you don't know if it's some sort of surgery or they just ate very, very well and they perfected life. My grandpa was kind of like that. Once he hit like his late 70s, early 80s, he looked the same up until he was like 95. Damn. 70s early 80s he looked the same up until he was like 95 damn i mean that's there what my parents used to have a neighbor in louisville who in her 90s was like running marathons and stuff oh my god yeah she was doing something like that crazy like walkathons or something crazy she was amazing yeah like it was at one point i was like doing worse than my 90 year old grandparents man that
Starting point is 00:12:23 says a lot probably about video games and our daily habits, but you know what? I'm still going to do it. Anyway. Could it be sitting in a chair constantly hunched over? No way. No. There's no way.
Starting point is 00:12:33 No, impossible. So this dude goes up, and he's like, hey, I'm back from my trip. And the guy's like, oh, where'd you go? And he's like, oh, I've been traveling a lot overseas. By the way, travel. Just putting that out there anyway. Yep. He's like, I've been traveling a lot overseas by the way travel just putting that out there anyway yep he's like i've been traveling a lot overseas and he's like oh cool so where'd you go what'd you do so i'm you know i'm just sitting there and i was like i'm
Starting point is 00:12:52 gonna listen this whole conversation because i know it's gonna be good right this dude he honestly was like hey you know what i was just saying to myself you're saying i'm gonna go get some drinks tonight you know i was like this guy yeah is the perfect la 90 year old he's everything i want and so he uh he said i wrote down just the like generalization at the beginning but i have some quotes here he said that uh he just got back from jerusalem and he was blown away by the water and the guy was like what he's like what do you mean he's like the water there was amazing i freaking love it what like the water there was amazing i freaking love it what about the water and this is a quote he said they desalinate their water
Starting point is 00:13:30 and let me tell you it's so clean you can drink from the toilet i don't know how he knows that i don't know why anyone knows that but he was like you can drink from the toilet and the barber was like dude who's drinking from the toilet he goes i don't know but that's what i saw i'm like you saw it he saw what does that mean that's what he saw maybe he saw the water in the toilet i guess so that's the only thing i could think of i because i'm i'm worried he saw a dude drink water from a toilet is what I'm worried. And he didn't try to stop him. He just was like, well, I'm going to watch this happen. I mean, here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:14:10 You'd probably watch it, too. Well, I mean, yeah, I would. I'd have to come back and report to a podcast. That guy don't have a podcast. That's true, yeah. I'd probably egg him on. Be like, you should test that water, though, dog. I hear you can drink from it.
Starting point is 00:14:25 Yeah, but then he'd be like, how'd you hear I hear you can drink from it. Yeah, but then he'd be like, how'd you hear that? That you drink from it. A friend, this guy at the barbershop, he told me about it. So then as I'm traveling back across the ocean, I'm in the bathroom in the plane and I'm saying,
Starting point is 00:14:39 by the way, travel, I'm in the bathroom in the plane and I'm saying to myself, the plane water is terrible too how come water everywhere but in jerusalem and i so i went i looked it up i contacted the consulate i'm like holy guy he contacted the consulate to just to like learn about the water in israel so okay this guy sounds like a combination of like the fly Watto or whatever his name is from Star Wars and Trump. He 100% is Watto. Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:15:12 Yes. He was 100% Watto. And he's like, sir, I called the consulate. And I tried to figure, I was like, how do they get their water so good? And they desalinated. They get all their water from the ocean from the sea i'm like okay where's he going with this and this is what he this is the last thing i like started almost started laughing he's like so what i've decided i'm gonna do now that i'm back for
Starting point is 00:15:36 my travels i'm gonna write the governor and the la times they need to know they need to know our water is just there in the ocean. Why can't we get that? I'm pretty sure they know, dude. I'm pretty sure everyone's aware there's an ocean right there. And I would wager there probably are desalination plants in operation right now in California. I would say probably a lot. I need to look this up. I haven't even thought about this you gotta look it up there's the carl's carl's bad desalination
Starting point is 00:16:11 plant is the largest uh desalination plant in the western hemisphere there you go there it is i'm i'm pretty sure there are many, many factors that have to go into why the water here is bad. And I'm going to let you know, it's not just the, like, there's pipe issues. And there's, like, issues with the fact that a lot of our water goes to farming almonds. Like, there's tons of things that go into, like, we have such hard water. Yeah, we got to milk the almonds. There's so many problems here but like we definitely have desalination yeah and so i was just like this guy and he uh yeah and then he kept
Starting point is 00:16:50 talking about like his grandkids he's like so my grandkids i don't they're going back to school and he's like yeah so uh what grade your grandkids in he's like they're 23 off to college i mean yeah he's like 90s yeah i know he's like they're off to college at 23 i was like oh well you made him sound like they were little kids but i guess like once you're 90 everyone's a little kid right so i mean you already you already talked about how you couldn't even relate to like early 20s people this dude's 90 yeah i i can't even relate to like 50 year olds i often have to remind myself that a lot of the people that you know when you see like black and white photos and it's like 1952 some like people from 1952 are still alive yeah and and it's just you always forget that or like
Starting point is 00:17:45 from the 40s like 1941 like that there's still people from 1941 alive i remember like my grandparents just talk like they're like telling the story when they were like 93 or 4 and they're just like yeah i remember like working on the railroad or like i remember being in like the stockyards and i lost a quarter and my mother yelled at me and like just from like losing a quarter like crazy stuff like that dude don't even get me started i remember the dollar 25 movie theater when i was a kid anyway uh hey what's been going on with you this week? Let me tell you a story. So I was at the gym, and next to me there's, like, this one dude who's, like, he's, like, in his probably early 50s, late 40s or something. But he's, like, ripped.
Starting point is 00:18:34 He's, like, I see him, and I'm, like, dude, I want to be that guy when I'm, like, 50. Like, he's just, he has his routine. Whenever I see him at the gym, he's, like, doing his different routine, always does it, like, rolls out his muscles. He's, like, doing it,'s doing his stretches, doing his things. But he always talks to everybody. So sometimes I'll pause my music just to hear what he's saying. And this one boomer guy walks by. Are you spying on this man?
Starting point is 00:18:57 I'm not even spying. I'm just listening. I just happen to be in the same spot. Right, right, right, right. So he's just like, oh, hey, Gary, how's it going he's like hey bob day and then he's like how's the uh how's that thing going you go you did you travel he's like yeah i went down arizona it's nice there it's pretty nice you ever been he's like yeah i went golfing there i played terribly and he's like ah yeah yeah yeah and he's like what uh what'd you do he's like ah you know mcdonald's
Starting point is 00:19:26 what and then he's like mcdonald's like one of your clients and he's like yeah it's one of my clients like mcdonald's is a client of his so he's like uh awesome yeah he's just like yeah it's like a client so like free food the whole weekend he's like yeah is that good or bad and he's like that's what i'm saying that's why i'm here today he's just like yeah you know i could have sat at home watching the masters or i could have went here i think i made the the right choice and he's like ah yeah then they like kind of pause and like all right then they just just both go back to working out. I love a good awkward conversation. All right, then. See you later. Well, it's like there's the awkward conversations in public like that.
Starting point is 00:20:12 We're like, but like at the gym, it doesn't matter because they pause and they're like, all right. And then they just go back to like exercising. It's really hard. Gym conversations are like it's a it's a special weird conversation. Because everyone's there to do business. And, you know, like, you're there to work out. But you also are just kind of like, oh, I want to be polite. But I also want to get back to it so I can stop.
Starting point is 00:20:37 Like, I don't know. Maybe I only view things through my lens. But when I work out, I'm like, all right, if I get this done, I can stop working out. That's probably a you thing, because... All right, well, I don't want to talk to people. I don't want to just like, look, as soon as I get done, as soon as I can get out of here. Like, I'm a gym regular, all right?
Starting point is 00:20:59 And a lot of these people that I see are also gym regulars. So if you're a regular, you're just like, dude, I get to go to the gym today. Nice. So that's just, you know, when you're there, you're like, nice, I'm at the gym doing my thing. Like, you don't want to leave until you're done with your workout. And then you're like, all right, I can go now.
Starting point is 00:21:16 It's a mindset. It's a lifestyle. Live, laugh, love. No, not for me. So that occurred. That's what reminded me of that and then i also thought of chipotle because we got chipotle but we didn't all right let me tell you a story so we go to chipotle and i order it online because ever since that one time where we went there and like i had to wait like 40 minutes at a Chipotle line I was like I'm just going to order online because they do the online
Starting point is 00:21:49 stuff first so I order online but I noticed this line is like out the door and I'm like why is the line out the door I'm like that's a good thing I ordered online so I go up there and they're like hey our online ordering is down so if you want to just get in line and get to the thing then we'll make your order for free but i'm like this isn't free i already paid for it online so i'm like i'm not waiting like 45 minutes to order my chipotle i paid for online so i just left uh but i was like i want a refund so i went back later when it was like closing time i'm like hey how do i get a refund so i just went and got other food and they're like oh you got to go online and i was like uh all right yeah they're like you gotta go online because you ordered online and i was like uh okay so i go online literally just like
Starting point is 00:22:36 chipotle bot is like hello i'm chipotle bot how are you and i'm like i want my money and it's like chipotle bot would like to know what your problem is and i'm like, I want my money. And it's like, Chipotle bot would like to know what your problem is. And I'm like, I paid for my food. I didn't get it because your system sucks. So then I had to go through this whole thing. Chipotle bot would like to know what the problem is. That sucks. I would hate to have to have a conversation with Chipotle bot.
Starting point is 00:22:59 That would be terrible. So I'm like, all right, it's like, tell me your order. And I'm like, here's my order from my order number. And then it's like, and then it's like, Chipotle bot cannot help you. And I'm like, what the shit is this? Chipotle bot sucks. What happened then? So then I was like, well, what can I do?
Starting point is 00:23:17 And then I was like, okay, they have a Twitter. So I went on their Twitter and I DM them and I'm like, hey, I described the situation. Like I ordered my thing, but I didn't want to wait in the line systems down. I just want a refund. So I didn't get my food and I want my money. And then they were just like, oh, hey, what's your email address and the order date? And I was like, here it is. And they're like, all right, we refunded you.
Starting point is 00:23:41 And I was like, all right, neat. You know what that was that was that was chipotle bought discovering that it's job like why was i created master you were created to handle complaints on the internet for the uh company chipotle kill me i am a monster I should not exist Get back to work Stupid bot Yeah
Starting point is 00:24:14 You were the next one to talk to And it was like Cannot help you It's like Have you ever seen The videos of the Furbies That break down But they're like, I love you.
Starting point is 00:24:28 Just go crazy. Yeah, that's what I imagine happened. Remember when Furbies were like the biggest thing? I don't remember. It was weird then. It's weird now looking back. They're creepy. I've actually seen the inside of a Furby.
Starting point is 00:24:43 I've seen the skeleton. It's weird. Oh, yeah. It is creepy. But it was like the inside of a Furby. I've seen the skeleton. It's weird. Oh, yeah. It is creepy, but it was like the late 90s, right? Yeah, late 90s or 2000s. Something like that. Yeah. All right. I just typed in Furbies.
Starting point is 00:24:55 I went to images and they have ads above the Furbies and they are more disturbing than the actual Furbies. Okay, there is long Furby oddbody superhero. I don't like this.
Starting point is 00:25:13 Okay, so I'm glad we're seeing the same things because when you said that, I was like, what is he seeing? Because on my screen, I have Furby skull, which is not a real thing. So someone crafted a skull of a Furby and then the long Furby oddbody superhero, which is not a real thing. So someone crafted a skull of a Furby. And then the long Furby oddbody superhero, which is bizarre and weird.
Starting point is 00:25:30 And then a Hasbro Furby Kinect. I would not put that thing on the internet at all. No. And then the most 23-inch long Furby mini ghost in black. All I'm saying is Etsy. I don't know what's going on there, but this should be illegal. This is weird. Do you see 14 foot long Elmo?
Starting point is 00:25:48 I'm gonna have to go to shopping and you're seeing 14 foot long. Whoa You see it there is I don't see 14 foot long Elmo. I see something totally different. Do you see chunky peepee plush? Why do you see these? No. No. Why do you see these things? I don't see this, dude. There you go. Whoa. I don't know why these things are under Furby.
Starting point is 00:26:15 The PP plush straight out of your dreams and all the specific mail delivery to say the least. It literally is a giant wiener with legs. Yeah. I don't know what I was expecting. Meanwhile, this is what I see. You see that. I see this thing. This hell beast.
Starting point is 00:26:33 Look at this thing. Why is this what I got and you got a giant penis? I'd rather have the penis. Look at this thing. Oh, my God. That thing's like a Furby dog summoning Satan. It literally says, each hell baby Furby dog summoning Satan it literally says each hell baby Furby they're called hell babies that's terrifying I just click
Starting point is 00:26:50 that arrow and this pop someone's house and you see that on the couch this thing is called a custom Furby Boom Lilac. And it's like a Furby except they replace the outside with all hair. Terrifying. It's terrifying looking. Furbies are not cool. They never have been.
Starting point is 00:27:18 They're like weird gremlin demons. Yeah. The worst part is that they were programmed to learn from you. So the more you talk to your Furby, the more it would talk back to you. And that's terrifying because I know for a fact
Starting point is 00:27:31 that there's some kid who was like, Furby, I love you. And Furby was like, I am... Freaking out because he broke down. Ancillary.
Starting point is 00:27:43 I would be terrified of everything if I grow up. Now I understand why people are like, I'm afraid of the dark. If I had a Furby as a kid, I would not go to sleep ever. The damn thing would stare at me and be like ehhh.
Starting point is 00:27:59 No thanks. It's like a cursed goat. The Furby, the new thing is called Furby Connect. Furby interacts with the World Wide Web? No. I don't know. I don't want my... Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:28:14 There's a Furby app? No, thank you. Although, although, I'm not saying I would, but if I was a hacker, I would be the hacker who exclusively hacked Furbies on the internet. I would, like, mess with the Furbies and be like, I am Furby. Right? Okay. I'd do that whole thing, like, I am inside your
Starting point is 00:28:36 home, it's me, Furby. So, go to the Furby website, I just linked it. The new Furbies? They look like Draenei from World of Warcraft. Yeah, they don't. The Furbies look weird. They don't look right. Plus, they have metal ears,
Starting point is 00:28:51 which doesn't look right. They're more round. Here's the thing. They're less terrifying. They are less terrifying. That's true. Plus, they have like a little forehead symbol thing that they're kind of like reverse Care Bears. Okay, but you scroll down. It says connects with friends.
Starting point is 00:29:09 And it says. No, it's terrifying. It says Ata must eat. Ata. Translation. Food must eat food. Ata. All right.
Starting point is 00:29:28 All I'm saying is if you were to say to me, ATA, must eat, ATA, that's terrifying. That's like a demon in your home. So it speaks English for like two-thirds of the words. Yeah, to let you know that it must eat, but then it also wants to ATA. That sounds like that Indiana Jones scene where he's trying to take the dude's heart. Why doesn't it just say food? Yeah heart Why doesn't it just say Say food Yeah why doesn't it just say like Must eat food
Starting point is 00:29:49 I like to eat food Right like in a little cute voice Why does it have to be like terrifying Must eat Like it's saying it's gotta eat Like who's I don't know it's weird I don't like. It's weird. I don't like it.
Starting point is 00:30:06 Dude. No. There is a video of Furby singing karaoke. What? It is straight up right above where it says Ata must eat. Hold on. Let me go back. It is not okay.
Starting point is 00:30:28 God. This is weird. You know what sucks? It's a 16 second commercial. Go to 11 seconds. The Furby is scary in the commercial. It's like glitching out. It's like, if that happened It's like if that happened.
Starting point is 00:30:47 No man. I would be like as a kid. No Furbies are evil. No thank you. I went to Amazon to see if there was like Furby reviews. But it seems like people like the Furby. No no no no. What are the one star reviews.
Starting point is 00:31:05 Tried several sets of batteries, reset button, tricks to wake it up I found online. Nothing worked. Totally inoperable. My Kirby, my Kirby, my Furby is broken and won't wake up. My four-year-old is disappointed. Furby is just like, not today. Some four-year-old yelling at the Kirby like, wake up.
Starting point is 00:31:26 Or no, I said Kirby. Wake up, Kirby. Wake up, Furby. Why wasn't there a full Nintendo should have licensed Kirby to Furby? I'd own a Kirby. I would have loved that. Yeah, can you imagine a Kirby Furby? Right?
Starting point is 00:31:40 Fantastic. What a great. Missed opportunities. So all in all, Furbies are weird. That is true. Also, I forgot to mention that this week, this is completely unrelated. I did four streams in a day. Why?
Starting point is 00:32:02 All right. So hear me out. I'm hearing. I went to get my oil changed and when i was waiting to get my oil changed i had nothing to do so i was like you know what i'm gonna do a stream but the oil change is probably only take like 30 minutes so i was like i'm gonna do a 15 minute stream so i started live streaming for 15 minutes and then I was like alright it's been 15 minutes. As soon as 15 minutes hit shut down the stream.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Later that night I was like I'm going to do a 24 minute stream. I could have did a 25 minute stream. Seemed a little too weird. I dropped 24. So I did a 24 minute stream. Soon as it hit boom. Ended the the stream what did you do
Starting point is 00:32:46 what did you do for that for that 24 minutes i just talked i just talked whatever chat was just like what are you doing i'm like i don't know what i'm doing i just like answered questions i just chatted i literally just chatted like the category for 24 minutes exactly yeah exactly and right when it happened i hit end stream but then somebody gifted 24 subs for the 24 minutes exactly yeah exactly and right when it happened i hit end stream but then somebody gifted 24 subs for the 24 minutes so i had to do my clap so i was like bad guys we're back with another stream it's two minutes so i did a two minute stream me just clapping and then i shut it down again but then someone else did something so then i was like guys we're back for a 30 second stream and then i ended it right after 30 seconds i don't i mean technically those
Starting point is 00:33:27 aren't streams they are i mean that's like that's like the traveling of streams like i mean you did stream but like was it a stream though was it you turned it on The problem is that I'm trying to break the meta. Okay, because like I noticed, here's what I noticed. Every time people stream, they get the most subscribers and bits and everything during their like intro screens. So I'm like, every time that happens, they get a bunch of stuff during the intro screens and everything. And then they stream for like two hours and they get like one sub. So I'm like, what if you just stream like 20 minutes? You don't got to stream like four hours.
Starting point is 00:34:10 And it's healthier, you know, better on the body. So I was like that. So now I'm trying to do like, I want to do like a non-content sub-a-thon where the subs reduce the amount of time I have to stream instead of increase it uh I'm essentially just trying to do different things on Twitch because it just becomes like so uh everybody does the same thing you know what I mean like everybody's like oh we're gonna do a subathon or blah blah and then everybody's like oh we're gonna everybody has the same background you notice that everyone's got like the neon lights the gamer chair the like the oh i know gamer video game things behind them like i
Starting point is 00:34:53 if you go to like half the streams that's what it is um it's like the streamer set like they see people streaming in their in their background and they're like oh i want to have a background like that the problem is is now it's so like it's the image of what a streamer is that people who are just starting out who have like three viewers shouldn't be concerned about their background but their background is like beautiful yeah and i can't meanwhile you and I, it's like, I like living rooms. Yeah. It's like a living room or I use my shitty green screen. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:29 One or the other. So funny. Oh, that was one of them. I was, uh, for one of them, I just kept changing my shitty green screen around.
Starting point is 00:35:36 So I was like pretending to play baseball. I'm really just trying to break the meta. I hate doing what everybody else is doing. I just try to, I'm like the David Lynch at Twitch right now. Who knows if I'll do like a 10 second stream. People won't even know I streamed. I would love it if you just at random times during the day did 10 second stream.
Starting point is 00:35:54 If you can catch me, then you get a stream. Yeah. I just want to just start throwing them out there. Like I'll do my normal streams, but then mix in some of those. Like, oh, three minute stream or like uh like on uh someone said on 420 to do 420 minute streams i thought that was a fun one i'm gonna get hilarious i'm probably gonna do that uh and like here's the thing you're like hitting all the different time zones so like i can like stream early afternoon late late night so like you get
Starting point is 00:36:25 everybody don't you want to like do something while you stream like what i don't like play a game or like i don't know anything no all right well listen i've played games for like 13 years on the internet and i've played games long before that like if there's a fun game that comes out I want to do it but like half the time I'm like what game do I want to play I don't know can I all right can I tell you something amazing I was like what's going on in just chatting clearly they're gonna be people in just chatting who are like normal people and and admittedly the very first person there the very first person i saw was this dude with 31 000 viewers and so they're just like two dudes in a room playing with vr it's like okay but then the
Starting point is 00:37:13 next stream over is like guys in a room that has neon lights everywhere so i was like all right there's the dichotomy of twitch so like i'm gonna scroll down to the bottom i want to see people who are like new who are just trying out what they're doing right and so i scroll down i scroll down to the bottom and i see this girl in her kitchen and it's like my first stream and i'm like oh great so i click the stream because i want to see what her first stream is and it literally says my first stream getting back from being banned and then it's her kitchen like trying to strip and i'm like yeah okay well there we go all right that's that's yeah that's twitch all right i feel like uh
Starting point is 00:37:53 the thing is like i like playing games when like a game comes out i want to play or if i feel like i'm like you know what i want to farm mounts tonight then i'll do it but i don't like forcibly being like i need to play this game because i gotta stream today like i hate that right and so that's why i like doing stuff like eggs it's kind of like well i'm just gonna talk it's more personality based but then i think that's why i like to youtube more because with youtube the only time you're even just like sitting down and uh like the problem i have with streaming is almost feels like you're just sitting there for hours like it just feels unhealthy and so like with video editing you can like i mean edit and then go back it's also mentally unhealthy what streaming streaming it's
Starting point is 00:38:38 it's unhealthy physically and mentally yeah yeah like that's the thing is like people it's i just i like doing youtube more because like people, it's, I just, I like doing YouTube more because it's just, it's more creatively fulfilling. And it's just, I don't know, it feels healthier, honestly. And so. Are you being paid by YouTube to say this? I wish. And so, part of me still is just like,
Starting point is 00:39:01 what if I just like went all out with YouTube again and everything? But then I'm like, I still like streaming. So I just, I don't know. That's part of my struggle is just figuring out a balance between everything. We're in the same boat, my man. I don't want to go all out on either. Yeah. The problem is I just want to creatively do things I enjoy when I want to do them.
Starting point is 00:39:22 And I want to express myself when I want. I see all my friends who are in on one thing. You know what I mean? do things I enjoy when I want to do them. And I want to express myself when I want. And I like, I see all my friends who are in on one thing. You know what I mean? Like they're, they've chosen one and they go so hard and I watch them burn out. And I'm like, I just flitter back and forth without direction. And you know what?
Starting point is 00:39:37 Maybe I learned that from you. Maybe I learned that's the one thing you've rubbed off on me. Listen, all I remember is it's the one, I always bring this TB quote up, but it's the one i always bring this tb quote up but tb the one time he was like you if you are not having at least five sources of income then you are doing it incorrectly because he was just like if you're not doing like twitch youtube like patreon uh sponsorships merchandise like something else you're just doing like twitch youtube like patreon uh sponsorships merchandise like something else
Starting point is 00:40:07 you're just doing it wrong because he's like if one of the legs breaks then you fall off the chair and i remember i just remember him saying that and i was like dude he's right i can't have any broken legs i can't afford a broken leg yeah and i mean it's true because like if one of those things goes down you go down with the ship it's like that with games too like people will go all in with one game they're like yo i'm a wow streamer i'm a gta streamer i'm a like whatever streamer and when that game dies off everyone's like i don't care about this guy anymore and then they're like hey guys i'm playing uh i'm playing lost ark today you want to watch? And everyone's like... I think a lot of people...
Starting point is 00:40:48 There's one deciding factor in that, though. Is the personality entertaining enough that you would follow them to other things? Are you there for the person more than the game? And I think a lot of people assume that's the case, but it depends on the content you're creating.
Starting point is 00:41:06 And if you haven't created like a strong following then when the game dies off people are there to see like like if you're if the videos or streams you're making are like top 10 best plays in league of legends right then if you do anything else no one's gonna care because you're the guy who does the top 10 best plays league of legends yeah and if you don't do that anymore, if you're like, well, I've decided to do top 10 best armor in Lost Ark, then you have to start over because your audience is going to be like, I don't know, and they're going to go find someone else who does League stuff. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:41:38 So it's like you can kind of curate your audience that way, which is what I think I kind of did over the years. But even then, people stop watching. People change. People find other people. That's the hardest part of this industry. You've got to stay relevant. You've got to be consistent.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Or, follow me here. Yeah. You're so irrelevant that you become like a myth, like a legend. People are like, do you remember when? I wonder what that guy's up to. And then you get him again. Oh, yeah. You just take your year-long break.
Starting point is 00:42:21 That's true. Yeah. Or you do the lap around where you get relevant again for something else. Like, maybe a new game comes out and you start playing it. Everyone's like, dude, remember that guy used to do the thing? Now he's doing a new thing. That's the worst part is everyone's like, oh, yeah, no, I got to do these 80 things. And I got to, yeah, I don't know, man.
Starting point is 00:42:40 It's everyone trying to, like, figure out what the next big thing is. They can become big and relevant. It's interesting everyone trying to like Figure out what the next big thing is They can become big and relevant It's interesting Meanwhile everyone still kind of stays the same Like if you watch someone flitter Between games You see that their audience is still roughly the same But they keep moving around
Starting point is 00:42:59 Between the games trying to find the one that's going to blow them up And it's kind of like It's not the game it's literally just like time and place. Like a lot of people that got big right now got big because they played Among Us every single day, nonstop. And then some people found a great group and that group blew up together. Yeah. And that's like, and that's luck.
Starting point is 00:43:19 It's all luck. It's time and place. Yeah. It's literally just coaching trees. I've said it. There's people like you in sports, there just coaching trees i've said it there's people like you in sports there's coaching trees and the coaches branch off from the tree we're part of the total biscuit tree all right like me you dodger like sam like we're all branched off from the
Starting point is 00:43:36 total biscuit tree then there's people like part of the pokemane tree right like she branches off other creator people people find pokeman and they find like people through it then there's people it's like you know like Kraken Kraken has a bunch of people for like it can go down the list of those people that you find from certain people and that's just part of it you just gotta get lucky and be part of those
Starting point is 00:43:57 like trees cause I mean otherwise you're just lost in this sea of me scrolling through and I'm like I don't even know where I am anymore. I'm just, like, scrolling down. Where am I? I don't know where you're at right now. I don't know what happened to you.
Starting point is 00:44:15 I don't either. And that's why I did a 30-minute stream, or no, a 24-minute stream. Now we know. Well, you know what else you should know about hello fresh you can get yourself some farm fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep skip the trips to the grocery store and count on hello fresh to make home cooking easy fun and affordable that's why why it's America's number one meal kit. It is so simple.
Starting point is 00:44:49 HelloFresh, they know how to diversify their menu. They have the chefs that are there to get you everything from seasonal recipes of salmon limon to pasta primavera to whatever you're into. There are 50 different weekly options to cover any sort of vibe you're feeling whether you want to get super like healthy or you need stuff for the whole family whatever the vibe is you can get it quick meals meals that require a little bit more prep it's all there customize your favorite dishes with the new hello custom offerings by swapping out one protein or side for another, upgrading for a more
Starting point is 00:45:25 deluxe experience, and even adding protein to a veggie meal. That means more choices, more variety, and it also means those meals are more tailored towards you, which is awesome. I think that's very cool they're doing that. HelloFresh is something that we have used on this show for I don't even know how many years now. And every time we cook with Hello Fresh, it is always great. It always ends up the way we want it because, spoilers, we're cooking it. Story, story alert, personal experience alert. Okay, yes. Yesterday, me and Toaster Woman made a Hello Fresh.
Starting point is 00:45:59 It was like onion jam burgers or something like that. We made it. Very good. And the best part is you're just cooking. You're having fun. fun you're like i don't even know what's going on right now what do you do you do this you just cut it all right you throw it in the thing and it's great because it just tells you what to do and by the end of it you're like nice i cooked and i didn't even know what i was doing what's great is the more complicated recipes the recipes that you think are going to be insane turn out to not be complicated at all.
Starting point is 00:46:25 Like, once you just, if you just do what it says to do, you get it done. And it's great. Yeah, absolutely. Because you said onion jam, now I'm like, mmm, onion jam. All right, anyway. Well, it was like, all right, you take the onions, or you cut it up, and you, like, you saute them in the pan, and then you put, like, the little bit of sugar, a little bit of that uh what's it called the vinegar or what yeah it's like red wine
Starting point is 00:46:50 vinegar and you like mix it all up and then it's like and then it gets kind of jammy because it's a little thick yeah that's i mean it's good yeah no agreed it's fantastic you make a little gar oh my god the garlic aioli like take a little mayo you get the garlic, you cut it up, put the... Oh my god, it's fantastic. Yeah, it's delicious. Alright, well, you can get in on some of that Crandor goodness if you go to HelloFresh.com slash Cox16 and use code Cox16, that's Cox16, for up to 16 free meals and 3 free gifts.
Starting point is 00:47:24 Again, that's HelloFresh.com slash COX16 and then use code COX16 to get 16 free meals and three free gifts. HelloFresh, it's America's number one meal kit. Also today, we're brought to you by MeUndies. Maybe your mind doesn't automatically leap to thinking about underwear when you think about self-care, but honestly, it should. It is the one thing touching your bits,
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Starting point is 00:48:04 All you got to do is have a good pair to take care of you down there. I just made that up. I feel very good about it. That's pretty good. Sometimes it can feel like it's a challenge to take care of yourself in a way you deserve. But that's why MeUndies has a membership program that allows you to get like undies, onevs, free shipping, returns on every order, savings on virtually everything they make, exclusive sales, early access to the newest stuff. They have sizes available from extra small to 4XL, new prints drop monthly.
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Starting point is 00:49:27 All right, let's go to the drop down. Let's go to the drop down. Let's go to the drop down. Oh, boy, traffic. Let me tell you, it keeps getting warmer. Although here it's gotten colder and then it gets warmer. It's messing with my sinuses. I don't like it.
Starting point is 00:49:39 You know, the back and forth. One day it's 40 degrees. The next day it's 70. I'm like, what's going on? Cat, what are you doing? He's rubbing on my leg. Also, apparently a Nick Cage AMA happened. Everyone kept tweeting it at us.
Starting point is 00:49:53 So that occurred. Back to you. Here's the thing. I went and looked at it. It wasn't anything crazy. It was Nick Cage being, like, Nick Cage, real real talk I feel like it's probably most reasonable man in Hollywood insane as the things he does he's like I feel like he's like all of his things people be like would you do a face-off too and he's like yes they're like one of the things was
Starting point is 00:50:20 uh a guy said dear John Travolta how does it feel to have taken Nicolas Cage's place and have a career? Like that kind of thing. And his response was, Ha ha. Like, you know, I feel like he just is excited. Like someone said,
Starting point is 00:50:33 Are there any quotes when people see you on the street and they quote a line from your movies? Are there any quotes that really annoy you? And he responded like, I'm just happy people remember movies I'm in.
Starting point is 00:50:46 I was like, I'm just happy people remember movies I'm in. I was like, this man, I think he's humblest. I think that Cage suddenly became like the humblest man in Hollywood. I don't know what's going on, but I love it. Dude, that's like, I relate to that. Because I remember back in the day, I'd be like, dude, people keep quoting my wow movies all the time. And now someone's like, Jimmy got ganked outside. I'm like, dude, somebody remembered one of my WoW movies. This is great.
Starting point is 00:51:09 That's what I'm saying. Yes. And people come asking what his favorite movies are. And he's like, yeah, I like Leaving Las Vegas and huge fan of Pig. It might be my best work. I'm really proud of it. And it wasn't anything crazy. Like that, like it wasn't anything crazy.
Starting point is 00:51:27 And I think, and, and one of the things that I love is someone said, um, do you see, I think he's some actor that he worked with. Um, it might've been Ethan Hawke. I think someone wrote Ethan Hawke, uh, said that you were, um, the modern day Marlon Brando and your acting choices and how no one else is like you and you consistently get work and you always like take chances and do crazy stuff. And he was like, yeah, I mean, I'm honored, but I don't like see it that way. I like to think of myself. And he like has this whole other thing about like acting. And I'm just like, man, he's like, I don't think that I would be Brando.
Starting point is 00:51:58 Brando's a different, like so much better than me. I was like, is he, is Nick Cage? Like, can I like him more? I i don't like how is this possible what were the movies we watched again uh we watched the something and the outcast and pay the ghost yeah that's what pay the ghost was hilarious by the way it was hilarious we need to do another one because we've got to watch more. Yes, agreed. We need to do more Nick Cage watch-alongs because those two were good. There are plenty more.
Starting point is 00:52:37 Nothing has lived up to Willy or Wally's Wonder World, whatever that movie was. That was an entirely different level. That was so good. There's a thing. I still love it was outcast how like he dies but instead of like saying his wife's name he just goes woman the best part was is i was convinced that he never once said his wife's name and then people were like no he said the name i was like wait so he knows his wife's name and he's just like, woman. That's so good.
Starting point is 00:53:05 Again, the man makes acting choices. For those of you who haven't seen the movie Outcast, it's Hayden Christensen and Nick Cage. And at one point, Nick Cage appears before a captured Hayden Christensen with a snake, like two snakes wrapped around his arms. And he's like rubbing his face with one of the snakes. And there's no way in hell that any director said all right so in this scene you're gonna rub yourself with a snake you know
Starting point is 00:53:29 Nick Cage is like I'm gonna find a snake I'm gonna rub it on my body while I do these lines and they were like great great Nick great oh yeah plus if you want to like watch those movies you can probably just go to Jesse's twitch and then just like watch along yeah we do have the watch along i probably should save that so people can watch along oh yeah probably
Starting point is 00:53:49 oh man that was what a what a treat that was so that's the traffic report okay what's going on sports sports we haven't even done the weather weather i forgot where we were uh weather somebody wants a weather request for z what tenejo guerrero mexico lovely place kind of want to say say what to nail sure uh lovely place kind of want to hear you struggle with pronunciation Say Wataneo? Sure. Lovely place. Kind of want to hear you struggle with pronunciation. What did you say it was again?
Starting point is 00:54:32 Zee Wataneo. Say Wataneo? Is that the place from the end of Shawshank Redemption? I don't know. I remember the end. It's like there's a place along the ocean where I'm going to go meet my friend and a new friend. Maybe it is. I love that movie.
Starting point is 00:54:51 I unabashedly love that movie. I watched that movie, I think, like eight years ago. I don't remember. Dude, watch it again. Watch it again, and you'll be like, is this the best movie ever made? I'm telling you. Watch. I'm telling you. The older I get, the more I'm like, this is the best movie ever made? I'm telling you. Watch. I'm telling you.
Starting point is 00:55:05 The older I get, the more I'm like, this is the greatest film ever made. All right. I'll watch it again. In Z-Hot Tuneo. It is 77 degrees Fahrenheit. 74% humidity. 29.92 inches of pressure. 10 miles of visibility.
Starting point is 00:55:24 Winds southeast at 3 miles of visibility. Winds southeast at 3 miles an hour. Dew point, 68. UV index, 0 out of 10. Moon phase, waxing gibbous. Waxing gibbous. The 10 day. You got 71 degrees, few passing clouds, otherwise generally clear.
Starting point is 00:55:45 Sunday, 88 degrees. Partly cloudy. Monday, 88 degrees. Partly cloudy. Tuesday, 88 degrees. Partly cloudy. Wednesday, 83. Partly cloudy. Thursday, 83. Partly cloudy. Friday, 84. Partly cloudy. Saturday, 83. Sunny. Sunday, 83. Partly cloudy.
Starting point is 00:56:02 That's pretty consistent weather. You know what? It sounds as beautiful as I imagine it in my dreams. Sunday. You know what? That's pretty consistent weather. That's pretty. You know what? That sounds, it sounds as beautiful as I imagined it in my dreams. Yeah, it's essentially like if you want to go where it's 83 and partly cloudy.
Starting point is 00:56:14 Yeah. Head over there. It's better than where I am or right now it's like 32. Like, okay, where I am, it's literally just like, oh, it it's literally just like it's gonna be like 60 then like 70 then 45 then 50
Starting point is 00:56:30 then 45 then 58 no thank you but you know whatever that's the weather alright now let's do sports sports welcome to the sports desk here we are.
Starting point is 00:56:47 So, NBA. It's the final day of the NBA regular season. Currently, the playoff picture stands. With the Miami Heat in first place, they've locked up the number one seed. Then you got the Bucs, the Celtics, and the 76ers all battling for the 2-3-4. That'll be a wild finish there to see who finishes where. You got the Raptors locked in at 5. The Bulls locked in at 6. Then you got the Nets, the Cavs, the Hawks, and the Hornets
Starting point is 00:57:11 all fighting for that final play-in positioning, but they all will be in the play-in. Just depends where. In the West, you got the Suns locked in at 1. Grizzlies locked in at 2. The Warriors, the Mavericks, I believe still fighting for the 3-4. I may be wrong. And then the Jazz Nuggets tied at the 5-6.
Starting point is 00:57:29 When you say these words, and I know that you understand them, you mean the third and fourth spot. Yeah, the seating. Right. Okay. I just want to clarify for those who have no idea what you're saying. You're like, get the 3-4, you got the 6-5.
Starting point is 00:57:46 And I'm like, no one knows what he's saying right now. Yeah, like this is just ingrained in my brain. But playoff seeding is essentially you have eight seeds. Okay, so the one plays the eight. So the number one team, so like the team that did the best in that conference, gets to play against the worst team, which would be the eighth seed. So they barely made it into the playoffs. And then the two plays the seven, the three and the six, the four and the five.
Starting point is 00:58:11 So you want to be the best team because then you get the easiest route to going to the championship. But there's been instances where the best team loses to the worst team. Sometimes they just get hot or it's a bad matchup whatever it might be then they just added like the play-in which is kind of some people like it some people don't i don't really care uh it's there's a play-in in the playoff so like the top six teams make the playoffs and then it used to be the top eight teams made the playoffs but now the seven through ten teams play each other to see who's going to be the top eight teams made the playoffs, but now the seven through ten teams play each other to see who's going to be the seven and eight seeds.
Starting point is 00:58:49 This all came about from the COVID bubble when they did this, and then they were like, oh, it got good ratings, so they kept doing it. I don't know. As long as your team's not in the play-in, it's kind of fun because you can watch the other teams be like, oh, God, we have to win or go home. It's that type of thing. So it's kind of funny because the Lakers the other teams be like, oh god, we have to win or go home. It's that type of thing.
Starting point is 00:59:06 So it's kind of funny because the Lakers were supposed to be really good this year because they got a bunch of old stars and they missed the play-in. So they didn't even make the playoffs. They didn't even make the play-in. So they're just trash. So you got the Suns at the 1, Grizzlies, Warriors,
Starting point is 00:59:22 Mavericks, Jazz, Nuggets tied. We'll see who gets the 5-6. Then you got the Timberwolves, Nuggets tied. We'll see who gets the 5-6. Then you got the Timberwolves, Clippers, Pelicans, and Spurs in the play-in. And the Lakers missing out. So then, over in the NHL, I don't even know how many games are left in the NHL. Probably not a lot. You've got the Hurricane and the rangers tied in that division you got the panthers and the maple leaves getting into the playoffs uh you got the rain well i'm just gonna do conference here we go florida toronto carolina and rangers are all in the playoffs and you got
Starting point is 00:59:59 boston tampa bay pittsburgh likely getting in, and Washington probably getting in. In fact, they're pretty much all going to get in. Then you got the West, which is Colorado's in. Then you got Calgary, St. Louis, Minnesota, Edmonton, Nashville, Los Angeles. And then you got a tie in eight for Dallas and Vegas. So that'll be wild to see how that plays out. And then the rest, which are the... Not going to do it.
Starting point is 01:00:27 And then the NFL draft. That's going to be coming up in a couple weeks. That'll be pretty fun. Always love the NFL draft because I'm an NFL nerd. And then baseball started. So we're on the second day or third day of baseball. Surprisingly, the Cubs got off to a fantastic start. I didn't expect that.
Starting point is 01:00:47 They're 2-0. They've been playing pretty good. Mariners 2-0. You got the Royals 2-0. The Rays are 2-0. Yankees, Blue Jays 2-0. The Mets are 3-0. Phillies 2-0.
Starting point is 01:01:00 Cardinals 2-0. And the Padres are 2-1. Reminder, we still have 159 games to go. Yeah, none of that means anything. I don't know. You get to the end, you're like, oh, we missed the playoffs by one game. If they would have just won that one game that we just mentioned, who knows? Who knows?
Starting point is 01:01:19 A lot of this is going to happen between now and the end of the year. Who knows? Okay. The sports. All right. What is our fact of the day? Fact of the day. This one I just found.
Starting point is 01:01:34 It made me stop and be like, what? So I had to do it. Okay. Alfred Hitchcock was an ovophobe. He didn't like eggs? Is that what that means? Correct. He had a fear of eggs.
Starting point is 01:01:51 Here's what the godfather of the horror genre had to say about them during an interview in 1963. I'm ready for this. I am frightened of eggs. Worse than frightened. They revolt me. That white round thing without any holes. And when you break it inside, there's a yellow thing round without any hole. Blood is jolly red, but egg yolk is yellow, revolting.
Starting point is 01:02:17 I've never tasted it. Really? What happened to him when he was younger that eggs got him? I don't know. He hates eggs, but loves blood. Really? What happened to him when he was younger that eggs got him? I don't know. He hates eggs but loves blood. But he said that he doesn't eat eggs, but clearly he's ate stuff with. It's like when you watch Guy Fieri and he's like, I don't do eggs.
Starting point is 01:02:36 But then he cooks with eggs. Yeah. I don't get it either. I love eggs. I ate eggs today. Yeah. I love eggs from my head down to my legs. What? had eggs today yeah i love eggs from my head down to my legs what it's a it's a advertisement that the egg association of america used to do in the 90s there's an egg association of i like eggs from my head down to my legs that was the song and now it's with me forever i'll never i'll
Starting point is 01:03:01 never forget it why is there an egg association of america i don't know if that's what it was called specifically but it was like the egg council or something you know like when they tried to get look you don't know this but there was a you probably were too young there was a time in america where people like didn't even try to eat healthy like there was there's a time people were like nah i could just eat you know this like uh chipped beef and like shit i just found you know like this canned thing i just bought there's not yeah that's true no i remember that it was like the 90s i was like eat at this old country buffet and they're like hey why not yeah they're like i like eggs yeah there was that
Starting point is 01:03:44 and then there was uh everything had a jingle that's true everything did have a jingle but like eggs there's the cholesterol thing they're like oh eggs are high in cholesterol so it raises your cholesterol but that was proven to be wrong it was probably this there's probably a reason why they had a egg council because they're like look no one's buying eggs because they're saying it's high in cholesterol yeah so i ate it i ate an egg today i made my i remember going to disneyland we always go would go to we'd go to like panera and so i'd get like an egg cheese and uh egg and cheese on a brioche bun sandwich thing and i was like dude i don't wake up early enough to go get that from panera and then i was like why don't i just make it myself it'll be healthier it's a good point
Starting point is 01:04:30 yeah so i literally i bought some brioche buns at the grocery store i bought some white cheddar cheese and then i bought some good eggs and i just made it myself crack that egg in a pan you just you know cook it a couple minutes then you flip it for like 20 seconds a little over easy put it on the the bun you toast it a bit put the cheese and then when you bite into it it breaks open it's like and it like goos all over then you just dip the sandwich in the goo and you get some like fruit with that some strawberries some raspberries you're good to go i i mean that sounds good admittedly yeah so that's your fact of the day
Starting point is 01:05:09 alright what is our big news story of the day okay so the big news story of the day I was trying to find something crazy and I stumbled upon something crazy and I knew it was crazy because it was
Starting point is 01:05:27 linked from coast to coast AF well here we are all right yeah yeah it's been a while since we've gone back to coast it's true river troll photographed in Mississippi nothing about this is real whatever you're about to tell me is not real all right a bizarre picture circulating online purportedly shows some kind of humanoid creature that was allegedly spotted by an astounded witness in mississippi the peculiar photo which can be seen below i'll link it to you please do please do i don't want to miss out on this below i'll link it to you please do please do i don't want to miss out on this uh and an account of the strange sighting was sent to the website phantoms and monsters according to the unnamed
Starting point is 01:06:15 individual who shared the image the incident occurred back in 2015 while the witness and their family were living in a house boat in coastal Mississippi. On an evening of a particularly low tide, they noticed something peculiar, drinking water approximately 25 yards away, and upon taking a closer look with some binoculars, were astounded by what they saw. Off in the distance, the witness claims, was an entity that was pinkish tan with bulging eyes, funny looking ears, two arms and two legs, and what appeared to be horns coming out of its head. While understandably taken aback by the presence
Starting point is 01:06:50 of a puzzling being, the confounded observer fortunately had the wherewithal to snap a picture of the puzzling creature that they likened to a river troll that was devil ugly. To that end, the image accompanying their account shows what appears to be the head of the creature lurking beneath a sizable branch that extends over some water claiming to have seen a lot of creepy stuff in the swamp while living on their houseboat the witnesses assert that i don't have anything to prove when it comes to the veracity of the photo well obviously yeah be that as it may skeptical observers will no doubt suggest the oddity in the photo is either a trick of light and shadows that appears to be a creature or perhaps some prosaic animal native to the
Starting point is 01:07:39 region and that the witness merely spun a tale to accompany the image with that all i'm saying is i'm gonna let you finish never I'm going to let you finish. Never mind. I'm going to let you finish. Maybe it'll correct me in my assumption of what this is. It probably won't. With that in mind, what's your take on that weird photo? Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:07:53 Yeah, no. This photo, it is 100%. So you ever see those photos on Reddit or anywhere on the internet where it's like, this dog doesn't have a head! But it's literally like the dog and it's just turned and the photo was snapped in like a weird way so it looks like it is four legs and no head but the dog is like just turning a direction this is 100 a deer and the deer is like his head is is out but its body is turned, I guess this would be to your right, but I guess it would be the deer's left. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:30 And its head is turned, and the ears, you can see the ears sticking up, and then it has the little, like, antlers up top, and then you can see the rest of the body kind of fade into the darkness behind the tree. It's just like a bad photo with a bad camera. It's more like a ghost deer than a river troll. Yeah. I mean, if anything, it's a ghost deer. Yeah, clearly.
Starting point is 01:08:51 If anything, it's a ghost deer. River trolls are real ghost deer. It's not a river troll. Trolls are much larger and bulkier. Yeah, this is clearly a ghost deer. Stupid. They're so dumb. So stupid and dumb.
Starting point is 01:09:06 yeah stupid they're so dumb so stupid and dumb they don't even know they're troll to deer scion i was gonna say scientology that's not they don't even know they're scientology they don't even know it they don't even know they're l ron hubbard's yeah um i like how the guy's just like we don't got anything to prove. We just took a picture. Yeah, and now we're telling everyone about it. We don't got anything to prove. Yeah. We just wanted to show it to everybody. Like, okay, all right, cool, dude. Unlike Hank the Tank, who was real.
Starting point is 01:09:36 Hank the Tank really had nothing to prove. Yeah, he was real. The only thing Hank the Tank was proven was innocent of the charges. Yeah, exactly. Shout out to Hank, wherever you're at, buddy. I love you. Shout out to Hank. Is there any update on Hank?
Starting point is 01:09:50 Yeah, they discovered that it wasn't him. Hank, they put it, they were like, oh, well, the fat bear must have did it, but it wasn't him. We covered that. I spent like, is he like doing anything since then? Probably let him back out into the wild and he now has a family and he's stealing picnic baskets. Well, that's good. He's doing his own thing.
Starting point is 01:10:11 That's my boy. I love him. I love you, Hank. That's your new story of the day. Alright, that's it for us. Thank you so much for listening or watching or however you enjoyed this podcast. Crandor, hit them with the socials. We've got socials. We've got youtube.com slash cox and Crandor. Hit them with the socials. We've got socials. We've got youtube.com slash cox
Starting point is 01:10:26 and Crandor podcast. Listen to all those podcasts over on youtube. youtube.com slash cox, Crandor podcast, all one word. You can also cut off the podcast part and find all the animations, funny animations on youtube.com slash cox and Crandor. Also, you can find us on our main stuff.
Starting point is 01:10:42 We got youtube.com jessicox, youtube.com Crandor, patreon jess YouTube.com, Crendor. Patreon, Jessica Cox. Patreon, Crendor. Twitter, Jessica Cox. Twitter, Crendor. Twitch, Jessica Cox. Twitch, Crendor.
Starting point is 01:10:53 Instagram, Notorious Cox. Instagram, Crendor is taken. And YouTube.com slash Warhammer, Crendor, if you like Warhammer. Wow. There you go. Easy. Easy peasy. All right, That's it.
Starting point is 01:11:06 We'll see you all later. And as always, shake the rhino. Do we continue?

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