Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 337 - Cocaine in the Coffee

Episode Date: May 9, 2022

There is no cocaine in your coffee! We swear! Also Jesse goes for a run, multiple times. Meanwhile Crendor is obsessed with fake foods - especially butter and cheese. But he deserves after losing to CatGirl and Jerry in Switch Sports. Also they DARE Lion makes an appearance! Go to http://calm.com/cox to get 40% off unlimited access to Calm. Go to http://meundies.com/crendor to get 15% off your first order.

Today's episode is brought to you by MeUndies. MeUndies are the undies that I have on me. Also today we're brought to you by Calm. Calm is going to get you relaxed and chilled out. Now let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning.

Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studio. Recording. Wake your ass up. It's Gax and Crendar in the morning. Gax and Crendar in the morning. Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Gax and Crendar in the morning.

Yeah, that's a pretty good one. You didn't mess it up. Thank you. You know what, I felt like I did, but I just kept going and so... That's life. You know what? Yeah, that's life. You just keep going. Speaking of which, you've been like impossible to do anything with for the last like two days. I'm like, you want to record? You're like, nah, I got a 10-hour show, and then I got Mother's Day. Well, here's the thing. I didn't know that.

I was ready to record with you yesterday. I didn't know that other thing we were going to do was going to take four hours to do. I didn't know my opinions were that opinionated. Turns out my opinion was not the opinion other people had, so we have the usual four-hour argument over an opinion. Yeah checks out yeah it's uh because i remember as i was streaming i was like is you ready and they're like oh this show's gonna go like three hours and i'm like what and i was like i'm playing nintendo switch sports then i don't care so i did yeah yeah that was uh the look when i have opinions about Marvel, I have opinions just like Star Wars

or anything else. And I just had to say what they were. And everyone else, I thought for sure I was correct. I was like, well, obviously this is the correct opinion. And no, everyone was like, I disagree. I'm like, what? Out of your mind? Yeah.

Had a few table flip moments. I was like you're crazy! What do you mean? That was terrible! Well that's good at least. Yeah. It was a good time. What else did you do this week? Oh my goodness.

Man. Let me tell you. This week I learned a valuable lesson about myself I I Was invited by the Warp Zone Some of our lovely friends To go film a skit with them

And the skit Was about I guess they do a thing that's It's on their TikTok Which is like They go around and they do like a fake man on the street thing but it's with like various gamers and so for this one it was they're going around to people being like i'll give you a hundred dollars if you can guess what game this is

and it was just a uh like a screenshot of overwatch and except it was overwatch 2 it the goof. And no one could guess what it was and finally I'm like, oh, is it Overwatch 2? And they're like, oh my god, yes! And they give me the hundred bucks and they're like, thank you so much! Are you excited for the game? And I'm like, not really. I think it should have just been an update for the first one. It just seems like a cash grab by Blizzard. And the whole

goof is Davis freaks out and attacks me with the giant blow- up poster thing. And then at the end of it, I run away, right? And so they were like, alright, so we're going to do this all in one take. We're just going to like,

we're not going to edit, so just go. So we do a take and then maybe I'd goof or Davis would goof or someone would goof. We have to reset. But eventually we got to the point where we were just like, all right, let's do another one. But the problem is at the end of every take, it is all right. As he's hitting you, full-blown sprint, Jesse.

And in case you weren't aware, I am fat. So I am full-on sprinting. Like to the point where at one point Davis said, dude, I didn't even think you could run that fast. And I was like, bro, yeah, I did. I just outran you. That's what just happened here. Right.

Here's the thing. Just because I have the ability to run fast in short spurts. Right. You're like a cheetah. Like I can do, I can run fast for like 13 seconds. And after that, it is shut down mode and so i you know i would do these things over and over again and it was fine because it wasn't like it was like i'd run down the street a little bit and then come back the thing was is after like 30 takes of trying to like nail it perfectly i was like like, guys, I'm sweating.

Hold on. Let me towel off here a minute. So I don't know what clip they ended up using. But when I finally got in the car after we were done, my hair was like, it looked like I had just worked out. And I was like, well, that sucks. But everything seemed fine. And I was like, you know what?

I felt good. I felt good that someone was like Damn dude you can run It felt good not everyone says that to me Woke up the next day My entire body hurt I was like What did I do

So yeah I've done you know when you're on like Ellipticals or treadmills or whatever You aren't putting a lot of Like you're using muscles But you're on ellipticals or treadmills or whatever, you aren't putting a lot of – you're using muscles, but you're not using everything. Yeah, it's easier on your body than actually running. Yes. Well, I went full run for a good two hours back and forth. And at the end of it, I was like, I think I did pretty good.

Got home, was like, oh, God, what happened? Yeah, woke up the next day, had to waddle to the bathroom. Thank God for hot showers. Waddled to the bathroom, took two Tylenol, and was like, take me to the shower, body. And so, yeah, everything was sore. I had soreness in parts of my, like, back muscles and my legs. Here's the thing. My calves and stuff were fine.

It was all the parts of me that I don't ever use in a full run. Right. You know when you full run? Yeah. When you run like you're Tom Cruise running away from a robot or some shit? You're doing the robo sprint. Oh, yeah. Your whole body is going.

I was doing that the entire time. I'm going to let you know. Here's the thing. I was doing that the entire time. And I'm going to let you know. Because here's the thing. I knew that they were filming this. So already I'm a fat guy running. So I'm not going to do that, like, lame fat guy run thing where it's kind of like a fake run. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, I get it.

I was like, no, no, no. I'm not going to get roasted by the internet for this. If I'm going, I'm going full speed. Yeah. To hell with it. So that's what I did. And, yeah, then the rest, as they say, is pain. That's like I was playing with G-Mart, and he was like,

oh, yeah, after I played the Switch Sports, like I was sore the next day. But I played Switch Sports, and I was fine. But I also go to the gym six times a week. So I think that was part of it. I did slightly tweak my bicep a bit, but that's also because I did arm day in the same day. I think I just overworked it. I was destroying people in badminton.

Absolutely. I've always said that about you. You're a badminton master. Yeah, so switch sports. Remember Wii Sports? Of course. Yeah, so Switch Sports. Remember Wii Sports? Of course. Yeah, so it's just that. So they got bowling, you got badminton, you got volleyball, you got tennis, you got soccer, and you got sword fighting.

Sword fighting? Yeah, so you get a little bit of everything. I did bowling. I think bowling is a fun one to just chill out, although there's some sweaty bowlers, like straight up. And then I still badminton. You get the one-on-ones. Like, at first I lost, like, this person named Catgirl. And, you know, I was like.

I mean, well-deserved loss. You don't mess with Catgirl. Yeah, 100%. And I was down, like, 5-0, lost that game. And then I slowly just grew into a professional badminton player and i've progressed to the badminton pros like literally it was like you've gone professional uh and i i was against jerry all right i play this guy named jerry i was i won two in a row i was on fire and then this guy was like a raid boss like he comes out we're going back and forth i'm dinking him i'm dunking him and then all of a sudden he's like he takes a 4-2 lead on me

and it's like whoever gets the five first wins and then guess what jerry blew a 4-2 lead i come back i go tie it then i go one up and you got to win by two i won six to four after being down four two it was just absolutely humiliating for Jerry. This reminds me of, have you ever seen that clip? I keep imagining you going up against Jerry like this clip of, I think it's a Russian TV show, I think, where it is this young boy who's like a chess master. Maybe it's a young girl.

I don't remember. It doesn't matter. Young child, and they're chess prodigy.'re the whole show is about how amazing they are and then it's like and that's why we've brought on international world championship master like basically they brought the hardest person in the world to fight this kid and the music is like and the kids like freaking out and the crowd's losing their mind This guy walks out like a badass And that's all I can think of

You on the badminton court Like ready to go And then Jerry shows up with flames Like he's a pro wrestler That's how I imagine it It was as intense if not more I mean it's all on my Twitch channel If you If you want to go see it I really should do like stream highlights Thousand pence, if not more. I mean, it's all on my Twitch channel.

If you want to go see it. I really should do stream highlights. You should? Yeah. The thing is, then I have to do all that. But, I don't know. You would have to do all that, yes. Correct. It's like, well, you do stream highlights, but you only do it on TikTok, right?

I do TikTok stuff I put it on all sorts of Different things but yeah for the most part I'm trying to put more of it on Cox Clips but it just Takes forever and even I That's why most of Cox Clips now is just Unedited footage I'm like here you go I don't have to work so hard For this

I don't know I work so hard for this. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I still feel like I got to do some sort of stream thing. So maybe that's what I would do with my TikTok. You know, I'd put up my stream clips. I don't know. Having like a YouTube stream clips channel never feels good. Oh, it's not. It's never going to be as successful as anything else Unless you do that thing That a lot of Like just talking podcasters do Where they take their Long two hour show

And then cut it into little clips That are only of the most like juiciest bits Oh yeah And those seem to do well Because it's just people talking and that you know whatever Yeah because you're just Clipping out parts that you've talked like 15 minutes about a topic and then putting that up as its own video yeah yeah absolutely i uh one of the things i noticed

just speaking of youtube is so i've been uploading the last two days i uploaded um Like a Mother's Day video And then a video of Monster Road Trip And that Is doing Just as well as the news does But those took Infinitely more time So all I'm saying is that for everyone who's like Jesse you should do more Let's Plays

Nah the YouTube game is not Paying off The five minute, that is That is a sweet spot for me That is as much time as I'm willing to invest in YouTube right now Yeah No, it's That's my thing, like I still like doing YouTube

But It's definitely not worth investing a lot of time Into YouTube outside of like You know, here and there So I mean mean like I started up a non-content vlog once a week just get a non-content vlog something

you know I also rewatched my old WoW machinimas that was fun and then I just talk about topical things it's essentially five minute gaming news on one topic and me just ranting without any sources. Give the people what they want.

They don't need sources. They want to tune in to watch you do that. Get the most views. That's what the people want. Can I tell you, speaking of you and your videos, on my Patreon recently, they've been asking me to go back and watch people's videos. And so I went back and watched my first video and your first video and Dodger's first video.

Right. I'm going to let you know. My first video is like, it's bad. It's not good. But it is literally just, I I recorded Footage And then did VO Over that footage Alright Is what I think happened

Instead of like Doing it all at once Because it seems Something seems weird about it It seems off And then I think At one point I say something in past tense

So I'm like Oh boy But Um Your video I realized Is The most

Crenor thing I've ever seen. Nothing about you has changed. Your confidence level has improved a lot. Oh, yeah, 100%. But your content is roughly the same. And one of my favorite parts of your video was that you at one point invert the video. I was like, why did he do that? What was the point of this?

I honestly don't know why I did that. Like, I remember doing that. I remember editing it, and I was like, this will be funny. It was crazy. I was like, what am I? But at a certain point, I was like, this is actually very good. His is way better put together than mine. And then I watched Dodger's first video.

I was like, oh, my God. She's way better than both of us combined. Like, her first video is like so natural And her just talking about stuff And then I realized Here's the thing Definitely she did But she spent most of that in like behind the scenes stuff

Yeah So she didn't really do the acting But I don't know I guess she was in it But she came off as like A normal person Giving people the gaming news And I realized oh my god I think 5 minute gaming news I just stole from Dodger She was in it But she came off as like A normal person giving people The gaming news and I realized oh my god I think 5 minute gaming news I just stole from Dodger

Yeah but like She probably stole it from someone else For sure for sure and that's fine She's not doing it anymore so it's mine now stolen But Very funny to me that that's Where we're at I was like oh Alright sure okay I watched that and i

was like guys i think i think out of all this i was like my video sucked it was just me playing the game and talking over it crendor actually edited it and did voices and like his voices were hilarious and everything he it was a it was a stinging critique i was like plus he was talking about shaman so like come on i'm a shaman so he wins right yeah and. I was like, plus he was talking about shamans, so like, come on, I'm a shaman, so he wins. Right, yeah. And then I was like, Dodger actually made a good video that I would watch. Out of the three videos I watched, I would watch her content again. I was like, yeah, no, I get it.

I get why she's successful. It's very funny to me. Speaking of watching old videos on Patreon, I kind of did that, but not really. watching old videos on Patreon. I kind of did that, but not really. So on Patreon, on mine, I did a reading of my Billy story script. So essentially, years ago,

I wrote an entire like Wow Machinima movie series. It was like an HBO series of like Wow Machinima. Yeah, just like an HBO series. I wrote, yeah.inima and so yeah just like an HBO series I wrote yeah I mean it's got like episodes it's like got an entire story behind it and I was like all right I'm gonna do this it's gonna be great then I realized after I did it I was like I don't know if I can actually do this like there's a lot of editing there's a lot of like filming stuff I don't know how to do I don't know so i never did it but i still had it so i was like you know what i'm just gonna read this off for patreon so i put that up and i think it's top tier i think that's pretty good i love the idea of going back and like

looking at old stuff like that especially i have in the office i have a bin of like old things from when i was in elementary school i have no idea what's in that bin and i'm trying to save it for like the moment to open that thing and i'm like what if i did like a video so yeah i uh i got a lot i got a lot going for me there oh my god speaking of the past so i was in the grocery store right and you know how they'll just play like old songs yeah so there it was like 20 minutes before they close and like people are stocking the shelves and they just start playing the pitbull song where it's like give me everything it's like give me everything tonight

and then it's like pitbull uh i don't know that song you know the song it's like give me everything by pitbull give me everything you know it by pitbull song by pitbull yeah you definitely know it oh yeah no never mind i know the beginning be Me not working on. Yeah, all right. No, I know. I've heard this song before. And then go to 43 seconds. 43 seconds. Okay. Yeah. The dude stocking shelves was literally just he gave no shit.

He was like singing this out loud as he was stocking the shelves. I was like, you know what? I respect it. Yeah, man. I feel that. That's so good. What's crazy is when I worked at a grocery store and I stocked shelves, my version of that is I would listen to

Coast to Coast AM because I was an overnight stock clerk. I remember you said that. I would listen to Coast to Coast AM and every time they'd do the bumpers in between, it would be like the different music they use. I would always jam out to it.

It was always really weird music. It was always like, stepping into the twilight zone. I'd be like, yeah, all right. Let me put away these Cheerios. The perfect music for Cheerios. And it would be like, you're listening to Coast to Coast AM. Up next, a guy who thinks he's an alien's baby. And I'm like, yeah, this would be good.

Coming up next, goat men. Are they real? And then 85 minutes of commercials. Oh, yeah. I hate that. It was the only way I could get through the night was listening to that. But when I don't have to listen to the 85 hours of commercials, I just can't be asked. Costco's AM, the way that show works is literally they come back from a commercial break.

They come back. George says something like, this is a weird thing I'm saying. That's going to happen next. And then another eight commercials, and then the show starts. And I'm like, oh, my God, stop. Why? Why are there so many commercials? So they can make money.

But it's all for, like, Mr. Superman multivitamin will make you into a Superman. Contains no Superman parts. And you're like, what? Barry's beet juice will promote the best blood pressure you've ever had in your life. Dynovite. Buy it today.

I've heard so many Dynovite on the radio and I'm listening to like the Cubs game. They're just like, Dynovite! Woof, woof. Look at dog like barks. Dino bite! D-I-N-O-B-I-T! And I'm like, is it dino bite or dino bite? I don't know how

someone's... It's supposed to be like vitamins and I guess... I don't know. I don't know why dino's in front of it. I have no idea what any of that means but here we are. I thought it was dino bite for a while I thought you're giving them like a bone they could bite on no this is my favorite part is it's like yeah so ever

I started giving these vitamins and then three six weeks later my dog was healthy again my 36 weeks is like a lot could have happened then are you sure was the vitamins well let me tell you these key ingredients you got ground flax which like flax gonna be good for your like skin or whatever right uh dried kelp vitamin e and the alpha nutrient concentrate i mean this is like something you could feed a person i think right yeah right? Yeah, I guess, but like... Would my hair become lustrous? Would I get my beautiful coat back?

Like, this seems like it would work if you've got like bad skin or like your hair's like not shiny enough or something. Like, I don't think it's like, my dog's got ringworm. I gave him Dinovite, now he's cured. I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know if it works or not. I don't know, you know. Yeah. I don't know the rules. Yeah, I don't know I wouldn't know if it works or not I don't know I don't know the rules

I don't know the rules either But here's the thing If we learn anything from the radio It's all lies It's all lies I was like oh yeah The butter thing So I was going to talk about butter

Wait the butter thing What do you mean The butter thing. So I was going to talk about butter. Wait, the butter thing? Yeah, so I was going to bring up... Wait, what do you mean the butter thing? Well, I haven't explained it yet. I just talked to myself. Oh, okay. I thought you were talking about something that you clearly had said before and I missed it. No, I was walking past something.

I think this was during the grocery store pitbull incident because I wrote it down at the same time. And I think I saw like macaroni and cheese and it was made with real butter. Or real cheese, real butter. One of the two. It might have been both. That got me thinking, how many things

do you think have been fake over the years? I feel like in the 90s they were just feeding us fake everything. This is like when Subway. Sorry, I forgot the name of that place. Yeah. It's like when Subway was like, our bread is real bread.

You're like, what the hell was it for 25 years? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Our turkey is actually real turkey. And you're like, what do you mean? What the hell was I eating before? All right, here we go. We're going to find out. Back in February, we broke the news that retailers were pulling Parmesan cheese from their shelves. This is 2016, by the way.

The FDA warned consumers that some pre-grated Parmesans were actually just a bunch of cheap cheddar and cellulose, an anti-clumping agent made from wood pulp, and everyone gagged in unison. Sadly, pulpy Parmesan isn't the only scandal when it comes to cheese. According to Melanie Warner, many cheese products aren't actually cheese but are food products made from cheese. If the product says processed cheese, prepared

cheese, or cheese food, it's a hundred percent not actually cheese. The FDA has actually a handy little guide to determine how much cheese is in your cheese products. Here's how to decode the label. Pasteurized processed cheese contains 100% cheese. Pasteurized processed cheese food contains 51% cheese at least. And pasteurized processed cheese product is less than 51% cheese.

Interesting. is less than 51% cheese. Interesting. The one that I always think of is the Kraft Parmesan cheese. Oh, yeah. You know that one that comes with a green top? Yeah. And I just went to go look it up, and it looks like it says in the back, ingredients, Parmesan cheese, pasteurized parts, skim milk, cheese culture,

salt, enzymes. And then it says cellulose powder, which is what you mentioned. Yeah. And then it says potassium sorbate to protect flavor. But I guess it just says it contains milk, so I guess it is technically cheese? Yeah, I think it's technically cheese, but it's got a bunch of stuff that keep it the way it is. Well, apparently, these hybrid cheeses have a longer shelf life and are easier to cook. So that's why they do it.

What if I just type in cheese product into Amazon? Yeah. Cheese product. There's got to be something good here. Oh my god. Yeah. Alright. Well, there's obviously great value

pasteurized processed American cheese product in a can. There is cheese powder. Nice. King Arthur Better Cheddar Cheese Powder, formerly known as Vermont Cheddar Cheese Powder. So why'd they change the name to King Arthur Cheese Powder? Hell no. That's a weird change.

White Cheddar Powder, Easy Daddy Mac Powder. I don't know. That's a weird change. White cheddar powder, Easy Daddy Mac powder. I don't know how I feel about that. Easy Daddy Mac. You can get a whole case of Easy Spread Cheese. This is what I'm saying. There's so many of these things I'm like, I don't know

what they're... But then there's some that are like, now we got real cheese. So I'm like, does this have a shorter shelf life because you're using real cheese? I don't know what they're, but then there's some, they're like, now we got real cheese. So I'm like, does this have like a shorter shelf life? Cause you're using real cheese. Like, I don't know. It's a fantastic question. I'm more interested in the fact that you can just buy bins of cheese powder. And I keep thinking like, could you put that on popcorn?

Would that be delicious? They probably do. I'm just thinking about it. Like, but I feel feel like but also you can get a whole bulk you can get 25 pounds of white cheddar cheese powder for a dollar uh 199 dollars just putting it out there you could also just buy a block of cheese and like grate it over something you could but have you ever had cheese powder because i'm hoping someone has you know what i have i must have because i've made craft macaroni and cheese yeah that's what i had like every kid's had that growing

up yeah you've had cheese powder before is it great no not at all it's probably it's for kids you know what it hits the spot sometimes all i know is the last time i've read craft macaroni and cheese my stomach hurt i was like i don't think this is good you know what the last i haven't had craft macaroni and cheese in a long time hi yeah hi i have however i whoa what i asked that's what happens for me in the craft macaroni yeah i uh i did have uh amy's is that the name of the brand whatever the one that's like the uh like, au natural one. Uh, oh, yeah, that's the one with the rabbits. Yeah, the rabbit lady.

I, uh, I had, I had that, and that came, it was kind of like getting a, um, uh, Velveeta mac and cheese. Ah, I see. Except they claimed it was better for you than Velveeta mac and cheese, and I'm gonna let you know. Uh, I'm fine with that lie Like it's fine I don't know There are some things I like Like I had Amy's like ravioli That was pretty alright

Sure She had like mini ice cream sandwiches I act like she's making them herself Like I made these I don't think Amy is a real person. I don't either. She's like Big Lou. Yeah, everyone's like Big Lou these days.

I got to figure this out. Let's see. Amy's Organic. Amy's got a bunch of stuff. Amy's Kitchen is a family-owned, privately held American company based in Petaluma, California that manufactures organic and non-GMO convenience and frozen foods founded in 1987 by Andy and Rachel Berliner. There's no Amy there.

No Amy. What a lie. Hold on, hold on. The company took its name from their daughter, Amy. Amy is real. Never mind. Which means, hold on, Amy Berliner. So, like, she doesn't grow up.

There's, like, the company's named after you, and you're just like, whoa, nice. Like, I don't know. I mean, I imagine it's kind of like Wendy's, right? Oh, yeah, that's true. Although, one of the saddest things in my life was realizing that when Wendy from Wendy started taking over for her dad, she didn't look like a little tiny freckled red-headed girl. She just looked like a normal human being. Oh.

Either way, at least Amy's real. Yeah. Shout out to Amy. Wherever you're at, Amy. But the other one was like butter because they're like, I can't believe it's not butter, right? They're like real butter. Well, like what's the fake butter? It's margarine, right?

It's the margarine. Yes. But the margarine apparently is a bunch of trans fats. Yeah, I mean, margarine here, it's about the way you use it, right? It's about like the melting point and what you're going to – people used to do spray-on stuff all the time. Remember when they made cupcakes as a kid, you'd spray on butter like that couldn't have been good for you at all.

So there's probably pros and cons to both. Oh, of course. Yes. Completely agree with that. Yeah. That's usually what it ends up being like. It's oh, this is good for this thing and this is good for this thing. But don't eat too

much of anything like that's what it's like just do it in moderation you're fine that's usually what it boils down to at one time i uh got a uh you know how they have like those little little tiny baby tubes not tubes i guess like a bin of butter you don't talk about in the grocery store rather than a stick it's like a little little plastic container. Oh, the tubs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I got one that was Irish butter, and I was like, oh, I love Irish butter. Oh, yeah, the Kerrygold.

Oh, I'm excited for this. And I got it, and it was just a pain in the ass to spread on stuff because it was actually butter butter. Oh, yeah. It was a pain in the ass to spread. So I used it for cooking, but I wouldn't put it on toast. So then I went out,

and I bought normal ass Land O'Lakes margarine butter and that is spread perfectly. I was like, now this is good toast. And here's the thing. Do I want the real butter? Yes. That's why I bought it at first, but it didn't do what I wanted. So I was like, no, back to the old stuff for me.

Well, you know, I mean, that's probably the part of it too. It's probably more convenient to put on stuff yeah for sure that it was designed that way yeah but then if it's designed that way then maybe it's not healthy well i mean yeah it's definitely not healthy i don't know it's like it was designed something that's designed isn't healthy there's like natural things that aren't healthy either so it's like it's i don't know like i said it's all like moderation just do whatever like everything's gonna kill you you know what won't kill you me undies oh my goodness you know the days when your coffee shop is out of your favorite drink, maybe a cold brew and they just say, it ain't cold, baby.

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Over 100 million people around the world use Calm to take care of their minds. It is here to help you stress less, sleep more, and live a happier, healthier life. So again, if you're listening right now and want to get an exclusive offer for 40% off a Calm premium subscription, go to calm.com slash cox. That's C-A-L-M dot C-O-M slash Cox for 40% off and unlimited access to Calm's entire library. All right, let's go to Chapter 7 of Sky the Grandeur. Grandeur, how's the traffic out there?

Oh boy, traffic is wild, especially in those parking lots. Those parking lots are getting crazy, almost as crazy as the story you're about to tell us about parking lots. Back to you. Yeah, so it's not a parking lot. It's the streets. Apparently, outside of my office, sometimes, we kind of have a rule here that there's parking spots in the lot.

But if, you know, if you don't make it in time, there's not going to be a parking spot for you, so you can park in the street. Well, on the street, apparently, for some reason, and I could not tell you why, signs started appearing that say, temporary no parking, 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. on both sides of the street for an entire block. And I'm like, wait, what? Why? What?

And so I drove around trying to find a parking spot in the vicinity of my office. And there was nothing for three blocks. I was like, what the? Why is everything temporary? No parking six to four. And so I went and contacted the building and was like, guys, what's going on with this? Why is this out there? Is it part of construction? What's going on? at the building and was like, guys, what's going on with this? Why is this out there? Is it part of construction? What's going on? They're like, we'll get back to you. They get back to me like, well, the state says, or the city

I guess, says that we don't need to tell you why we're putting it out there or how long it's going to be there for. It's like, what? What do you mean? Like, yeah, the city says that they can put up the signs that say temporary no parking and we just have to deal with it.

And I was like, but I'm running a business, and people come in and out, and I have employees, and people have to have a place to park. So where do I tell them to park? How long is this going to last? They're like, we don't know. It's like, what do you mean you don't know? So now I literally have no answers and a problem. That's unsolvable.

Sounds like great. Cool. Yeah, I don't know what to do about it, but it's the story of my life. I don't know what to do about a lot of stuff, frankly. That's probably green Cheeto when it boils down to it. Oh man, they gave her control. She got hired on on the local parking board or something.

And she's just like, where's that Jesse Cox? Where'd he go? I gave him. I come for you, Jesse. No, thank you, Green Cheeto. That's the traffic. That is the traffic. All all right let's go to weather weather welcome to weather weather uh let's see going to our previous episode let's see a weather

request here we do have the top comment which is is the ever busy Jesse versus the non-content Krendor is like the unstoppable force versus the unmovable object. Are we the Batman and Joker of our own reality? I think we are. Oh, no. I hate that. I'm the Joker that tries to get you to do nothing. Yeah.

And I'm like, never. I'll never do it no I have a Joker laugh I'm going to get you to do nothing, and you're going to like it. Can't get me to do nothing, Batman. Lock the doors. You can't get out. You're stuck in your home. Oh, sure thing, Batman.

No, you don't get it. We're finally alone together. Lovely. You're going to have to lift. You're going to have to work out. I'll never do it, Batman. You're going to have to lift. You're going to have to work out. I'll never do it, Batman. You're going to sit in a chair. You're going to just stare out the window.

Come on. Never, Batman. You'll never get me to. Do it. Do it. That's how the movie ends. You got to go to the next one. Yeah, that's it. It was a weird ending, but we all proved.

Do it.'s it. It was a weird ending, but we all proved. Duh. Duh. Anyway, where's the weather here? We got a weather request. Hi, Crendor. As I want to start the barbecue season strong, I would really need some reliable weather data about my town of Nordil... Nord...

Nordilgen in Germany. Fun fact, it's the town a lot of the architecture in Attack on Titan is based on. Interesting. Is this called Nordling... Whoa! Yeah, Nordlingen. Dude, look at the... The photos

100% look like Attack on Titan. Oh, my God. They really do. Wow. That's crazy. Man, it's actually all circled in. It is straight up just a walled town. A medieval walled town.

Damn. You know what's interesting about this is I wonder what the history of the town is because I feel like most old towns that were walled in eventually during at some point in the history of whatever someone came and tore the walls down. They like lost a fight and the town was taken over. This one

still stands. That's true. That's because the Titans didn't get it yet. Well, I mean, you're not wrong about that. It just reminds me of all those shows where I always get really into those shows with the walls, and they're just like, we're in the walls, we don't know what's on the other side.

But then whenever I figure out what's on the other side, I lose interest. Well, yeah. I mean, that's the whole idea, is it's the mystery, and then no one can ever deliver on the mystery properly. Yeah. Ever. Yeah, like there's got to be one time.

Maybe I have to do it. Just throw it in the book somewhere. You were writing a book. Yeah. I'll throw it in that book. It has to happen. It's like Attack on Titan. It was still good after it, but it just wasn't holding up the same.

Like that wall mystery just kept me interested, and I'm like, well, I know. I know what's outside the wall. It's the same thing about Game of Thrones. Oh, yeah. Everyone was like, oh, beyond the wall is so scary. And then the more we went beyond the wall, the more it was like, these guys suck.

This isn't scary at all. Five guys took on an entire army of zombies. Yeah. It would have been scary if they all died. Yeah. No, they would have been scary if, like, they all died. Yeah. No, they didn't do that. Well, at least when we get Winds of Winter in 2056,

we'll find out. It's never coming out. Never coming out. That man has given up on that franchise. 100%. He's at the point where he doesn't have to do anything.

Yeah. He's like, I made an Elden Ring. Like, what the hell does that have to do with anything, bro? They're doing a new show. Do you see that? Yeah, the new... I've never been so uninspired or unexcited for... I feel

bad for everyone on that show because I'm sure they're all great actors, but I've never been like, yeah, I don't care. It's just like when I saw the new Avatar trailer. I'm like, yeah, don't care. Just don't care. It's just like when I saw the new Avatar trailer. I'm like, yeah, don't care. Just don't care. You had your time, and you squandered it,

and now I just don't care. It's the Targaryen story. That's what it is. Yeah. Out of all the people, that's the people I care least about. Yeah, I want to learn about the Lannister family. I want to learn about the badasses in the North who are like, we fought against the cold winters. Yeah, I want that shit.

No, they're like, you get to learn about all the Targaryens. I'm like, don't care. They suck. I'll probably watch one episode to see if it continues on from the last episode of the season or continues or starts anew like oh no it's a prequel it's a super prequel oh it's the prequel type thing well i mean like yeah so it's like a thousand years ago i mean in terms of being written well like if it's written well oh like okay but if it's like the end of the like last season where it's just shit's thrown together and they're like, all right, eat it up, you idiots.

You know, then I won't watch it. I mean, look, I've been watching the Halo show and that's not written well at all. So I can't. Honestly, the last episode, literally Master Chief wasn't even in the episode. Like it was a Halo show with nothing to do with Halo. A young girl and her friend fight on a desert planet against a guy from the Matrix with people that look like the dread-wearing dudes from the Matrix.

And that's it. And at the end, they blow everyone up and they're like, Thank God, we did it. And that's it. And that's what, and at the end, like they blow everyone up and they're like, whew, thank God we did it. And that's it. I still don't know why that happened. I couldn't, I guess because this young girl is supposed to show John where the halo is or something. I don't, I don't know. None of it made sense.

I have no idea why it was an entire 40-minute episode was this. But it was crazy. And I'm still watching it. I'm like, I can't wait to see what happens. No, man, it's terrible. But I'm like in. So I can't judge anyone for watching trash. What was, speaking of walls, what was that one movie that was the walls and they tried to get out? It was like.

Maze Runner. Yeah, Maze Runner. That was great. That was great. get out. It was like maze runner. Yeah. Maze runner. That was like, that was great. The first maze runner was so good. And I was like, dude, this is going to be wild.

And then the next two, it was like, I don't even remember. One was like, they're in the desert. And then the other one was like, the war infiltrating the city. I was like,

the shit's gone. Like, it was just, I just wanted to, You know what I wanted? I wanted them to get out of that maze and end up in another maze. That's what I wanted. Yes, and that's what I thought

was going to happen, but instead it was like they're in a desert world. Yeah, it was so dumb. It was like zombie desert. I was like, no, we want more mazes. I wanted them to be like just they can't get out of these mazes, so they're the maze runners. Like, dude, we just one no, we want more mazes. I want them to be, like, just they can't get out of these mazes. So they're the maze runners. Like, dude, we just, one day we'll solve these mazes.

Yeah, the whole point should have been the mazes. Yes, I completely agree with you. Like, they got out of the maze and they realized that the maze was just, like, level one. And now there was a bigger maze and it was even worse. But, like, they were getting closer to the truth. Yeah. And then, you know, that kind of thing. That would have been great.

Yeah. That would have been great. Yeah. That would have been awesome. And then they would have had the final maze, like the ultimate maze, and they like started dying off. It's like crazy. And then you get to the end of the maze, and like then you can do your big reveal or something.

But like, yeah, that would have been great. I'd love that. Yeah, that would have been crazy. So the weather in Nordlingen, germany is uh 47 degrees fahrenheit uh you got a high of 70 low 48 humidity 100 humidity watch out that's some humid uh pressure 30.28 inches visibility 10 miles winds 4 miles an hour, 2.47 UV index, 0 of 10 with a waxing gibbous moon phase. Waxing gibbous. Waxing gibbous.

Hey, calm down. I didn't turn you on. 5.45 a.m. sunrise, 8.44 p.m. sunset. Yo, these sunsets, these days are getting longer. Long days. Looking at the 10-day, we've got 10-day. There we go. 73, partly cloudy on Tuesday.

We got 78, mostly sunny on Wednesday. Thursday is 75, partly cloudy. Friday, 68 with showers. Saturday, 67, partly cloudy. Friday, 68 with showers. Saturday, 67, partly cloudy. Sunday, 69, nice, mostly sunny. And Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, all 71, mostly sunny. So pretty good weather over there. Let's go to sports.

Whoa, sports. Sports is happening. And we've got them right here. First up, we've got NHL playoffs. We have the Hurricanes and the Bruins going at it. That series tied at two. We've got the Wild and the Blues. That series tied at two.

We've got the Maple Leafs and the Lightning. That series tied at two. We've got the Oilers and the Kings. That series tied at two. The Rangers and the Penguins. Pittsburgh leading that one 2-1. And the Capitals Panthers. Washington up in that one 2-1. Flamestars

Dallas up 2-1. And Avalanche up 3-0 on the Predators. The only team with 3 wins right now. Over in the NBA, we got the Grizzlies Warriors. Golden State up 2-1 in that series. Milwaukee up 2-1 on the Celtics.

The Mavericks Suns tied it 2-1. And the 76ers Heat tied it 2-1. And then over in baseball. Baseball. Apparently, Alfaro's 449-49 foot walk off home run happened. I don't know where that is. Uh, I guess it's San Diego. There it is.

Yeah. Padres. Uh, neat. I don't care. I don't want to hear it. Just want to go to the standings. There we go. Uh, we got the Yankees in first.

Got the Twins in first. The Angels in first, the Mets in first, the Brewers in first, and the Dodgers in first. With about 140-something games to go, so that could change. It will change. It will change. And that's sports. All right. What is our fact of the day fact of the day uh fact of the day the fuller the fridge the more energy efficient it is yeah i guess because cold things keep other things cold right uh let's find out an empty fridge not only makes it more difficult to decide what to snack on it also wastes valuable energy it works like this the more empty space in

the fridge the more cold air is displaced by warm when you open the door requiring the appliance to generate cool air to replace it the fridge is packed less cool air escapes and less energy is required to replenish it the writers at the kitchen go so far as to advise fridge owners to fill empty bottles with water in order to displace the empty air. Yes, yes, that checks out. Huh. Interesting. Mm-hmm.

That is interesting. I mean, but are you, like, saving money by not buying the food so then... I mean, that's, I mean, at the end of the day, that's really what it's about. Yeah. But, potentially... I guess, at the end of the day, that's really what it's about. Yeah. But, potentially... I guess you could have food in there. If you have the food and you have the stuff in there, the cold will keep cold. If that makes any sense.

Yeah. Nah, yeah, that makes sense. Wait, what the... Okay, I gotta read another one because this just blew my mind. Okay. A woman who lost her wedding ring found it 16 years later on a carrot in her garden. What? So it grew in the carrot? I guess.

A woman in Sweden lost her wedding ring while cooking for Christmas in 1995. She looked everywhere for it and even had her kitchen floor pulled up hoping she could find it, but she couldn't see it again until 2012. While gardening, 16 years later, the woman found the ring around a carrot that was sprouting in the middle of it. The only explanation was that the ring must have

been lost in the vegetable peelings that were turned into compost. Clearly composting. Yes, that's exactly what it was. Yeah. Wow, that's crazy. That is crazy. That's neat, though.

You're just one day like, hey, the shit just turns up on a carrot. That's wild. So interesting. Yeah, man. I bet that was such a terrible time for her, too. And then it's like totally fine. It's all in the carrot. It was in the carrot all along.

All along. It's the way it should be. It's the way it should be. Ironically, if she had better eyesight from eating carrots, she probably would have found it. Well, you know, that's apparently not true either. You know what? Don't ruin this for me.

I think it was a good bit. It was like a fun zinger there, and you're like, actually, that is not true. Like, well, the reason they actually do that is because carrots contain beta-carotene, a substance that the body converts to vitamin A, an important nutrient for eye health, but an extreme lack of vitamin A can cause blindness. So that makes sense. However, you pretty much have a good amount of that anyway

if you're eating normally. Alright, well, good to know. Yeah, so if you have normal vitamin A levels, you don't need to eat 200 carats so you can see 0.01% better. However, foods rich in lutein have been found to increase pigment density in the macula,

which can help better protect your retina against macular degeneration. So it can make it so your eye doesn't deteriorate. Yeah, that's good. So that's actually a little better than having better eyesight. Keeping your eye healthy. Boom. There you go. Boom. Prom salt. Nice. Okay. What is our

big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. We have a morning jolt. Cocaine stashed amid coffee bean bags at Swiss Warehouse.

I was wondering where this was going, but yeah, that checks out. Workers at Nespresso Warehouse found 500 kilos of cocaine with a street value of 50 million. That's a lot of money. Swiss police on an investigation is underway value of 50 million. Woo! That's a lot of money. Swiss

police on an investigation is underway after workers at an espresso warehouse in western Switzerland found 500 kilos of cocaine with a street value of 50 million as they unloaded coffee beans that had arrived by train. Regional police in Freiburg said late Thursday they were alerted

Monday by the company of discovery at the facility in the town of Romont and immediately set up a broad security perimeter around it with a large deployment of officers. Customs and border control agents were called in. Early indications were that the shipment turned up in five containers that had arrived by sea from Brazil before being transferred onto a train. There's your problem. by sea from Brazil before being transferred onto a train. There's your problem. The cocaine seized

had an 80% degree of purity and its market value is estimated at more than 50 million francs, the police said, adding that the stash appeared destined for the European market. Wait, what's a franc?

Is that a French unit? Swiss francs. Why don't the French use francs? Or is that one of those things where like... The French use euros. Yeah, but why don't they use francs? That'd make more sense. You know? I mean, sure.

This is probably going to be one of those things where this stems from France in Switzerland. I guarantee it. I need to look it up. Here we go. The franc is any of various units of currency. One franc is typically divided to 100 centimes.

The name is said to derive from Latin inscription francorum rex, used on early French coins and until the 18th century or from the french the french frank meaning frank uh so i guess it's still french or friend whatever it's on friday the european union's law enforcement agency euro poll europol and the european monitoring center for drugs and drug addiction reported that cocaine availability in europe is probably at an all-time high switzerland is not an eu member but is part of the schengen zone that allows for visa-free travel among many european countries the monitoring center said it estimates the eu cocaine retail market was worth at least 10.5

billion euros in 2020 while cautioning that the figure was likely to underestimate the true size of the market. It is said the largest qualities cocaine are seized in Belgian, Dutch, and Spanish ports, but increasing amounts are turning up at ports elsewhere, suggesting that trafficking groups are extending their activities to ports where cocaine interdiction measures may be perceived as less intensive. Swiss Foods and drinks giant Nestle, which owns Nespresso, sought to reassure customers that all our products

are safe to consume. You're telling me that they're like, guys, don't worry, there's no cocaine in our products. Is that what they're trying to, like... Who cares? There's somebody out there like, oh, no, is my hot chocolate have cocaine? Yeah, anyone, I'm going to let you know.

Anyone, anyone, I'm going to say everyone. Everyone who drinks Nespresso would be okay if there was cocaine in Nespresso. Everyone who has a Nespresso machine, I'm convinced it'd be all right if there was cocaine in that espresso. Convinced of it. Oh, they have a quote. We have strict quality controls in place for green coffee arriving at our warehouses right up to the finished product. The substance in question did not come into contact with any of our products or production equipment used to make our product. Like, there's one person out there like, oh, thank God.

Yeah. Yeah. No. No, I don't know who that person is, but it's probably someone like, they put it, you know, it probably, oh, God, they probably say it for, like, the Facebook moms who are like, there's cocaine in coffee. Yeah, they probably did.

That or the dare tiger. Oh, my God. Screw that guy. Remember the dare tiger? I do. That or the dare tiger. Oh, my God. Screw that guy. Remember the dare tiger? I do. That guy was an asshole. Yeah. And, like, why did he hate drugs so much?

Because he was a drug addict? That's what I was thinking. Same thing when you see a senator on TV be like, gay people are a sin. And you're like, that guy is definitely gay. It always happens. gay people are a sin you're like that guy's definitely gay it always happened yeah or they're just like oh you know i'm all for uh banning marijuana and then they're like he smoked 20 joints yesterday literally that is it's so funny if you see all the people in congress who for the last 20 30 years were like marijuana is evil and then they now are like part of people selling marijuana

like they run the companies that sell marijuana in places where it's legal now yeah you're like well of course of course that's what happened yeah and that's probably what the dare tiger is or lion tiger is he's like kids don't do drugs unless you do them bought from me that's probably what you want to sell his own drugs. DARE drugs. Yep. DARE drugs. Bye-bye DARE drugs.

Yeah, DARE drugs are really excellent. DARE. Get your DARE drugs. It was a DARE lion. His name was DARE in the lion. I see. DARE in the lion sucks. That's a terrible. It's a terrible name Although I do like Aaron the lion

Like his plush. He's got a nice plush, but like okay, so I got let me show you so here's their lion plush Well, he's just a white boy like hey. I'm a dare line, but then there's like drugs Then there's like cursed Dare lion here we go But then there's like cursed bear lion. Here we go. Hold on. There you go. Whoa.

Whoa. No, thank you. That's what I'm saying. He's just patrolling. That guy looks like he is definitely going to kill you. That's the one that comes to life to kill you. Oh, yeah, 100%. Then there's this bear lion, which is like, oh, that sucks.

You know what? That just looks like a dude's furry costume that they just. Oh, yeah, it kind of does, actually. That doesn't look like an actual mascot. What sucks about that is they took his mane and they tried to make it like emo. Does that make any sense? Yeah, it's all messed up and it hasn't been washed in four weeks. Hey, kids, don't do drugs or take showers.

Signed, Darren. If he didn't have that, he would look fine. Yeah, but it's the hair. The hair makes it look like it's just some dude's furry cosplay. Yeah, and then there's that one, which is like the mafia dare guy. Hey, what are you guys doing over here? Doing drugs? I'm doing drugs.

I touched the dead drugs. You doing drugs? So really, when it boils down to it it There's no cocaine in your coffee Yeah so there you go Sorry to disappoint Okay That's it for us Thanks so much for listening and watching

I'm enjoying Words Podcast Alright I will thanks for watching like comment subscribe share five star I don't know whatever else you can do

do it also thanks to a buddy if you want to watch more of this program you can go on the old youtube.com slash cox and Crandor podcast all one word check it out all the episodes are there you can also get rid of the podcast part youtube.com slash cox and crendor find some of the animations very funny i think a new one's coming up soon

i'm pretty sure because dan's been working on it for like a long time yeah uh also we're on spotify we're on itunes we're on iTunes. We're on SoundCloud. We're all over if you want to find us on some other app. Also, go to our other things. We got Patreon.com slash Jesse Cox. If you want to see him react to videos, Patreon.com slash Crendor. If you want to see me read old video scripts, we got YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox. If you like 5-Minute Gaming News, we got YouTube.com slash Crendor. If you like ramblings of me we got twitch tv jesse cox if you like jesse playing a game for eight hours and

looting everything we got twitch.tv slash crendor if you like me yelling at people named jerry and badminton uh we got instagram if you like bad pictures, Instagram.com slash NotoriousCox and Instagram.com slash CronDoorsTaken. And I'm already taking too long on this. There's other stuff. Yeah? Yeah. There's other stuff. All right, well, that's it for us.

Thanks so much for listening and watching. See you all next time. And as always, shake the rhino. To be continued