Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 338 - Guard Gator

Episode Date: May 16, 2022

The boys are back and this time they've brought a guard gator with them. No one gets on this porch! Meanwhile Jesse basically webMDs himself into thinking he has ADHD, while Crendor has started new youtube endeavors to make Jesse jealous. All this and potentially stalking some dude from Nevada on this episode of Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://babbel.com/cox to save up to 60% off your subscription. Go to http://joinhoney.com/cox to get Honey for free!

Today's episode is brought to you by Babbel. Babbel's going to help you learn a new language. Also today, brought to you by Honey. Honey's going to save you money online. Now let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning.

Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studio. Recorded. Hello and everybody welcome to another episode of Cacks and Crandall in the Morning Woo That was the fakest enthusiasm I have ever heard. Woo. Woo, yes. Greetings. Greetings.

How is your life? My life is fine. I realize that there is a series of moments in my life that keep replaying and I want to tell you about them, but I realize I think I've said the same story like five times. You probably have, but maybe

people have forgotten it. Well, here's the thing. It's not the same story. It's a different version of the same event. Okay, well, say it, and then I'll tell you. Okay, so I have numerous times during this podcast mentioned the fact that there have in the past been moments where some crazy LA driver does something crazy LA and then I, being just the good natured soul that I am, kind of brush it off.

But because we're forced to be in traffic together for a while, they still think that I'm on their level of crazy. Like I am operating in the realm that they operate in, which is not the case at all. All right, yeah. But it's fun watching them. Well, here's the thing. I, yesterday, was driving around, and this dude, I was headed back to my apartment, and this dude cuts me off, just straight up cuts me off. And I was like, all right.

So I tried to go around him because he was going very, very slow. And so I was like, all right, well, that was insane, but all right. So I tried to go around him. And as I started to speed up, he looks at me and then speeds up as fast. Like I hear his car go like as fast as he can. He is pedal to the floor. So I'm like, all right, whatever whatever so i just get back behind him i was like he's gonna play games i don't i you know i need to be in that lane anyway so like whatever so then i get back behind him and he straight up just like slams on the

brakes immediately slams on the brakes i'm like oh God. So I almost crash in the back of this man, but I don't. And I'm like, okay. And then he proceeds to drive as slow as humanly possible. Just like it's a 35 mile on the street leading up to my apartment. He's going like 10, going slow as possible. And he keeps like cars behind me are starting to honk. And this guy like is literally looking the rear view window at me. So, here's what I'll say.

He had a Nevada license plate and it didn't have anything to do with Vegas. So, I know he's, like, from the middle of nowhere. And it's just bitter. And so, he straight up just, like, kept trying to break check me. And I was like, fine. So I just put on, shout out to Sirius XM Radio Chill. It is for chill beats. And it's like, you know, that kind of shit.

Anyway, put that on and I just sit there. I'm like, all right, this is a game you're going to play. I'm five minutes away from home. I'm not upset. Like, whatever makes you happy, man. People behind us are honking. They're driving around us. And he's, like, literally, like, looking at me.

So I just start, like, just, like, bopping my head, just not paying attention to him. I'm like, I'm not going to play this game. If this guy, like, I'm not going to try to drive around him so he can do that thing where, like, he tries to speed up. I'm like, no, I'm just going to follow. Just five minutes. I'm not that, like, I'm just going to follow. Just five minutes. I'm not in a rush. This is fine. So we turn left down the road leading to my apartment.

And he's still in front of me. And then we get to another turn. And he's still in front of me. And we get to another turn. And here's the thing. It's about the third turn that his sassy, I'm looking back at you, what are you going to do about this, starts to become worry. Where now he's looking back at me wondering why I'm following him. And he actually, I could like, in his side mirror, I could see him like looking back more and more frequently as I just continued to follow him.

I could see him like looking back more and more frequently as I just continued to follow him. And then the best part is he turns into my parking garage. I just follow right along. And I wait for it. And like he doesn't open the garage door and I just sit behind him and wait because now I know what's going on. I'm like, oh, he's worried. And so I just wait. I don't touch anything. I don't open the garage.

I give no sign that I live there. And I just wait. I don't touch anything. I don't open the garage. I give no sign that I live there. And I just wait. And he, like, keeps looking at me and he hasn't opened the garage door to get into the parking garage. And he just keeps looking at me and I'm just waiting. And finally he opens the door and he drives in a little bit, just like halfway

in, and I start to follow. And then he continues to move on. The gate starts to come down and I just move onto the gate and the gate stops and goes back up. So then he stops to move on. The gate starts to come down, and I just move onto the gate, and the gate stops and goes back up. So then he stops at the parking garage and waits there, and then I just turn left while he's turning right. And so then I go to my parking spot, and I park, and I look, and he's still sitting there.

I think he was waiting to see if I was going to follow his – I don't know what he was thinking. But obviously he was on that crazy level of I'm going to instigate and then realized like, oh no, I shouldn't have instigated. Oh yeah. Thought that I was like,

I'm going to kill this man. Which is crazy because that's what happened with that girl who cut me off as I was trying to go to the office. Roughly the same thing. I think I have this look of like, because I'm so not concerned,

they're convinced. I'm like, I'll just throw you in my trunk and it won't be a problem at all like i don't know what is this town's crazy it happens so often it happened with uh you remember like years ago we were like going to the grocery store uh when i was there and that there's like some girl that did something in the parking lot i don't remember what it was she like cut us off the girl who was like dressed up as like in like native american really offensive native yeah that's right she did that and then she like got out and she was all worried too i think people in this city forget themselves sometimes where they like

really want like i'm in a car and i'm gonna yell some mean stuff at you but like this area of the city there's only so much to go to and we're all going to the same places so they really like realize real quick like uh-oh yeah and they realize oh i might get this guy might say a mean thing to me i'm like no i just don't care but y'all are just in your own weird world i said it happened and I couldn't handle it. It reminds me, I saw a thing where someone got cut off, and instead of giving the middle finger, they just gave a thumbs down. And someone was like, I don't know why, but that hurt a lot more. Yeah, yeah, right? It's like, I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed.

Yeah, yeah. Learn to drive better. There are kids on the road. Yeah, it's just crazy that this always happens to you more frequently than other people. I mean, there's just more. I think because there's more people in this city, there's the chances of running into a piece of shit just escalate and are higher than normal. I mean. But also, maybe because I think I have ADHD.

That's my segue. I think it could be because I have ADHD. There's the segue. Doesn't matter. Just roll with it. All right. Continue. So this past week, we had a bunch of new people in the office.

It was great. I'm actually running a real operation now to do new things. It's going to be super fun. But while we were doing all that, I was complaining about how I need people to help me work on stuff. Because honestly, if I'm doing a thing, I can only focus on that one thing. And I will forget all other things. And if I am Like being given instructions Or have to give instructions

I'm terrible with that People yell at me when I play video games And I don't read the instructions correctly Like Jesse just missed it completely And so One of the people in the office Was like you may have ADHD Just undiagnosed

I'm like no I'm fine I'm just dumb sometimes and so last night before we did well i was like waiting to set up our uh wonderful by the way nick cage oh yeah if you missed it very watch lovely. Yeah. Next time, I think we're going to try and do Con Air. Oh, yeah. So stay tuned for that. That's good stuff. But before we did that, I typed into Google, how to know if you have ADHD.

It was really worrying me. Even though I was like, no, no. I was like, maybe? So I typed in, how to know if you have ADHD. And the first thing that popped up Was a YouTube video So I was like oh boy this is going to be good Clicked on it

And it's a guy And I'll give you the link right now It's a guy and it's called I don't know Maybe it's called ADHD test Or something Okay Yeah the ADHD test or something. Okay. Yeah, the ADHD test.

Okay. Right? Yeah. And yeah, it's just by a guy who looks like every other nerd on the internet. Yeah, he does. He has the exact same hair and beard of every nerd. Yeah. And so I was like, I'll watch this.

It's like only a few minutes long and that's not too bad. So I turned it on and he's like, yeah, so I'm not a psychologist, or I'm not a doctor, and I can't diagnose anything, whatever. But here's the signs. I was like, all right, hit me. I'm going to go through them, and I just want you to give me your honest assessment, and I'll give you what I think. Okay.

All right. And what it was said is everyone, when they hear these things, they might have one or two of them. But in order to have ADHD, according to this video, you need to have at least six of these. Okay. And I was like, okay. So number one, do you have trouble starting projects? Not thinking up the ideas, not like the pre-work, just starting actually working on the project.

And I was a very hard yes. I was like, oh yeah, I can sit here and think up all the ideas, but when it comes to like, I have eight scripts on my desk. I haven't even pulled the trigger on any of them. I will pre-plan something

else before I work on a thing that is clearly should be done i feel like i'm in the middle on that there's plenty of things i start and other things i don't so i was like i'm gonna say yes on this then poor attention to detail for me i i felt like that was a no i'm really detail oriented when it comes to to things where i like get obsessive over them like oh no that has to be good that like oh this thing that we're doing here edit that change that fix that right i'd say we're both pretty uh good at attention to detail because just the fact that we're like observing people around us and the little things that are going on. Other people are just like, what happened?

It's like, all right. Absolutely. Yeah. I 100% feel like I'm a no on attention to detail. That's fine. Poor attention to detail? No. Do you have a hard time with or ignore instructions?

I was like, yes. Yes. Quite frequently. Yes. That is a huge yes for me. I actually love instructions. I was like, yes, yes, quite frequently. Yes, that is a huge yes for me. I actually love instructions. I always like following. If you put instructions in front of me, I like bless pictures that come in things

to like build stuff in your home, like a bookshelf or whatever. If there were no pictures and it was all text, I would never build a thing. I couldn't do it. If I had to read, if it was like, put the right screw, I was like, no, no. According to this picture, screw M

goes in this spot. Alright. And I'd be fine. Are you easily distracted and or easily bored or distracted by anything around you? Do you zone out during conversations? This one I had to think about because I like to believe that I don't get easily bored or distracted. If I'm having a conversation with you, I'm not going to pull out my phone.

I'm not going to pay attention to what is happening in the room. I'm not going to pull out my phone. I'm not going to pay attention to what is happening in the room. But if I'm having a conversation with like a business bro about business stuff or if I'm having any conversation that I'm not at all interested in, I have trained myself to look people directly in the eye and like really focus on what they're saying without actually focusing on what they're saying. Sometimes I'm just like that. And I think maybe that's like a maybe for me for that one i don't know yeah i mean i think uh i can't really do the only time i do that is if it's like they're like explaining like the instructions to a game or something or like a raid like here's how the boss fight works i'm like i don't know what this guy's saying uh but like

anything else like yeah i don't do that i can listen to people fine i can do all that i i think i'm like half and half on that one i don't know um the next one was hyper focus lose the concept of time focusing on something uh to an extreme i. I think that happens to me. Yeah. Often. I would say, I actually know a lot of people that hyper focus. I'd say you hyper focus.

I think Sam hyper focuses. He'll play games for like 10 hours and be like, oh, 10 hours of going by. And I'm like, what? Right? Toaster woman actually really hyper focuses. She like can be looking at her phone. I'll be like, you see that thing?

And just like, no answer. And I'm like, yeah'm like yeah i gotta wait then she'll just be like what i'm like all right but like i can i have that i do not have that at all i can be watching something someone's like hey what's going on i'm like oh yeah i'm just watching this thing like i do and i i'm actually terrible at focusing uh but like not like real but like i'm not i can't read a book. Like I can do that. I think I have a normal focus ability. Yeah, I, boy,

I know I hyper focus. Already, I'm potentially at three. We're not done. We're not even done with this list. Bad time management. Yes, for me, 100%. Yeah, my god yeah i'll even explain that that's that's a truther right there i'm probably uh uh i'm probably up there a little bit oh man you 100 yeah my thing is like a little bit okay here's, my thing is that I'm not like, oh, I lost track of time.

Where's the, my thing is I always try to fit stuff in. Well, I guess that would be time management. Nevermind. That's bad time management. Yeah. All right. Continue. Yeah.

All right. The next one disorganized and, and, and I don't remember what they said in the video, but I wrote, just wrote down disorganized and i said no i'm pretty organized yeah i uh the problem is my bad time management the organization isn't the problem the bad time management's the problem i have everything organized it's getting to the organized stuff right yeah i'd say i don't know i'm like in the middle on that i'm pretty organized but i'm not like you know super, super organized or anything, but I'm not disorganized.

Yeah. And then over emotional. I'd say no to that one. I don't know. You get pretty emotional. Well, I mean, about the amount of times just that you go on Twitter and you're having an emotional rant on Twitter. All right.

Well, that's – How's it different? Twitter, I think, is deceptive because I'm never emotional over Twitter. Like, no, I'm just laying here on my couch or, like, sitting here at my computer desk and typing off things really quick. I never really have emotion behind what I write. But people always assume because I kind of talk how I post, I guess. Yeah.

I don't know. No. All right. I can see that. That makes sense. I would say I can get salty for sure. And I'll, and I'll act out salty,

but I don't, you know, that's just in video games where I know I'm terrible and I'm taking my anger out on everyone else, but myself where it really should be placed. Um, and yeah, I've, I, I don't, you know, have very, I'm taking my anger out on everyone else but myself where it really should be placed. And yeah,

I don't have very... If they said you had... What would be the right word? If they said that your emotions were... When you had emotions, it was strong. If I'm sad, I will get sad, but I don't get sad often. You know what I mean?

But if I'm sad, I'll'll be like just let me die right right but that doesn't happen all that often um so i don't know but i think i'm not overly emotional and i would say you were definitely not overly i would 100 percent say i'm not overly emotional right in fact i'm like the only emotions i get that are strong are like anxiety that's about it i mean i what's crazy is anxiety isn't on this list i would have thought for sure it would have something to do with adhd but i guess not yeah i don't think so i mean anxiety is just anxiety it's more of like a survival thing that's overreacting. Sure, sure.

I just thought, you know, if they were going to list every single problem that I have, they might as well at least have one or two of yours in there. Yeah. It's fine. It's fine. Next was impulsiveness. Do you do something right after you think about it? Like you're having a conversation.

You say to yourself, oh, I should do that, and then you immediately go do it even though you have other things to do. Yes, 100%. That is the story of my life. I will be like, yeah, when I get home, I'm going to go work out, and then I will come back and do this and this.

And then I walk in the door, and I'm like, oh, cool, what? There's a package waiting for me? I open the package and look inside I'm like, oh, cool. What? There's a package waiting for me? I open the package and look inside. I'm like, oh, neat. And then forget that I want to go to the gym, and it'll be three hours later. And I'm like, what happened? And I'm like, oh, it's too late to go now, so I guess I'll do it tomorrow.

And then tomorrow will happen. I'll wake up and be like, man, I want some breakfast. And then I'll just be like, oh, I ate breakfast too slowly. I got into the office. Like, I can't. That's bad time management as well. I am impulsive as hell. Dude, I'm at five of six right now.

That's not good. This isn't good. I'd say I'm probably slightly above average on the old impulsive meter. Are you? I don't know about your impulsiveness. Give me an example. How are you impulsive? Uh, well, I'm just, I'll just be like, I want to go do this thing. Like I want to go to Best Buy or something.

I'm like, yeah, I'll do it. Even though I might be like, I probably should do like a, make a video or stream or do this thing or whatever. I'm just like, no, I gotta go to Best Buy and I'll go to Best Buy and be like, that was fun. I'm gonna get Chick-fil-A. I'm gonna get Chick-fil-A. Like, ooh, that was good. I'm like, I i gotta go best buy and i'll go best buy and be like that was fun i'm gonna get chick-fil-a they get chick-fil-a like that was good i'm like i'm gonna go do this thing so i kind of just do that uh sure uh i also notice uh those are that's part of the thing that ties into my bad time management i'm just like i can fit another like 15 minutes of working out here and then i'm like oh that didn't work out well it did like but you know you get it like the workout workout

you see what i did there yeah no i mean yeah uh sad no i've definitely i'm terrible that's one of the reasons i'm so bad at like keeping schedules and stuff I'm like okay do this thing and then I'm like I don't want to do that man I feel that life tremendously the next one this is the nail in the coffin for me are you forgetful

did you forget something you were just told oh boy that sounds like me That sounds like me. That sounds like me. I will do that all the time. But that just might be like me getting older. I don't know. I don't know.

This could all just be Jesse becoming old. That's true. I don't know. I've always been really bad with short-term memory, I think. Yeah. I cannot remember how we started this podcast. Well, I can remember that. I mean, I know it's how we always started, but I can't remember.

Like, if you said, Jesse, what was the conversation that you and Crandor had around, do you ignore instructions? Couldn't tell you. Couldn't tell you. And we had that, I would say, 10 minutes ago. That was, yeah, probably like 8 say 10 minutes ago that was yeah probably like eight ten minutes ago couldn't remember what i can remember the beginning because we do it so much and we always have a goof attached to it and i remember that we transitioned from me talking about following a guy in his car to this somehow uh but But other than that, no. It's the minor... I can't remember it at all.

So that's 6-6 for me. But there's one more left. Do you have trouble shutting off your brain? Sometimes. That might be the one thing I'm very good at. I turn that bad boy off frequently.

My trouble. I'm like, you know what, brain? You were weird when you did that tonight. No, I definitely, actually, no, that's probably where a lot of my anxiety stems from. That's more of the anxiety question than anything. Because you're just constantly thinking about like, what's this going to do?

I would say I have most trouble with that when I'm trying to go to sleep although sometimes it's better sometimes it's worse all right real quickly i know i know that i probably should talk to a doctor even though the doctor's gonna be like no jesse you're fine i'm still gonna do it because i need i need answers is what i need but i don't know if they would just be like You're fine Yeah I mean look If I I've seen plenty of doctors in my life

And no one's been like Well that's Like you should really get checked out So This probably might be one of those WebMD situations But I You know what

Six Dude was like Yeah you have to have six And I was like I have six So Unless I've I've doomed myself

I really wanna see what's up because i'm worried have i gone through my entire life with an untreated disorder and i could have been like my perfect self crendor and here i am like still a mess i don't know i guess the question i don't know either the question would be like, what do you do if you did? What would happen? If they gave me a medication and the next episode was like, Crandall, hello. Today I planned out the next hour. We have our segments down to the minute and we have three guests.

If I just came back a different person my laugh i'm like quite uh well it's about we changed we got they also said not everyone that has adhd needs meds like you can also just do like you know the counseling like cognitive therapy there's a quick fix what if i just took one pill and it like well that's the american way yeah that's what i'm hoping for i take a pill i come out the other side like greetings everyone that's why all those uh that's why there's so many like magazines and things were just like how do i feel good and i was like well you got to exercise eat healthy and it's like oh god is it like a pill they're a pill for that that's where i'm at like

can you just give me a shot or something what do you mean work out uh well speaking of this type of stuff i was gonna bring up a thing, which was just being affected by your environment. Because I realized today it was like it's kind of rainy. It was like 70 degrees and I was like driving and I was like, dude, this just makes me feel like I remember like specific things that I don't like they're still kind of fuzz but I'll be like oh I remember I was like 11 years old and I was playing this video game and I was doing this thing in school and I think I went here with my family at this like campsite and we went camping and like that'll all come to me from it being like the way the weather is and the way the sun is like lit and all that. Does that make sense? That does make sense. I

boy I don't have that often but when I do it does hit like a truck. I would say I get these moments daily. Oh that's not true for me at all. Like even I would just be like

walking up some stairs and'll be like oh this reminds me of being at school like this thing like boom and then i like go away like i just it's like a just any stairs like i walked up the stairs and i was in school no it's not just like any it's like the smell the like the the lighting like it's the the whole environment you're in like for example i was at the gym and they have like a thing where you can go up and down stairs and it's like a little like it's like a school hallway almost or not like a hallway but like a school stairwell but it's only like one flight of stairs like nothing you walk up down in like a second and so you walk

in there and i was like dude school like and then i just started like feeling all the memories and like emotions from like back then i was like whoa and then i'm like all right well back to working out but i get that like very like i'll walk into barnes and noble and i'm like dude smell this reminds me of my childhood like barnes and noble this thing like i get that frequently dude smell that's one of the reasons i would just go to the container store i'd want to smell it is there a memory attached to the container store? You're like, I love the smell of plastics. Not like oils.

I don't know. What about that set you right? I don't know. I just liked it. I had no memories attached to it. I walked in there and I was like, dude, this just smells good. It's relaxing.

It's calming. It just felt it made me calm. I used to do that with Office Max. I used to love going to Office Max. Then they closed it. I went to a different Office Max. It wasn't the same.

Then they closed it. It's not everyone either. I went to a different Office Max. It didn't have the same and they closed it that's the thing it's like it's not everyone either like i went to a different office max didn't have the same smell didn't have the same environment the lighting was different i was like this is a trash office max this one should have closed the last one i went to 90 of the shelves were empty and i was like ah yeah great this is this Great This is where we are Yeah No it's You don't really need office stores anymore to be honest You just buy everything online

Yeah it doesn't Amazon put everyone out of business Probably the reason why Jeff Bezos has more money than God Oh speaking of business Alright So last week I talked about how I didn't want like a VOD channel or whatever, or like a highlights channel.

But can I, before you, before we begin, okay. I was on YouTube. All right. Interesting. I forgot.

See, I forgot what I forgot. I was on YouTube and I saw a video pop up on my feed that was like, Crandor does some freaking Crandor thing. And I clicked it and I noticed something that I'm sure you're about to tell us. That you're about to tell us. I was waiting to see what you noticed. Oh, I noticed what you're about to tell us.

I'm sure. Okay. Yeah, I started a Kren Clips channel. I saw that. Yes. I was like, Kren Clips? Look at this boy. Here's the thing.

You have Cox Clips, right? Right. Right. Well, I have Kren Clips now. I don't know if I want it to be Krendor Clips or Kren Clips. Kren Clips is better. It rolls off the tongue. That's what I thought.

But what if someone searches crendor clips like then it'll pop up okay it'll pop up yeah it probably just got put in the description uh yeah crendor clips just be like clips of crendor that shit yeah so i was like what do i want to do here because i didn't want to pull up put up full vods because you could just go to twitch to watch those but i don't want like big big highlight compilations because I don't like the compilations and all the text over them. Just actually do what my channel should have been, which is literal clips of like eight minutes

of you playing a thing, the end. Yeah, so it's like, I was like, oh, I had a good fun moment fighting Jerry in badminton that I talked about last week. And so I was like, I'm just going to like clip that little thing out and upload it and i was like i watched you play tennis is what i watched yeah so then i was like i had a good soccer moment too so i uploaded that good pele moment then i had a game of league of legends

got really laggy and i was like dude it's like they could upload this like like 13 minutes then i had like a i played that uh what do you call it game peglin Peglin? It's like Peggle with Goblin guy. And I was like, dude, I played a game. My first game I ever played of that, I won. And I was like, dude, that was great. And I'm like, it was like an hour though, but I was like, oh, okay, that's like an hour. It's like a clip of the stream. I'll put it up. So I'm just like, any moment, whether it's like five minutes or an hour,

I just highlight it and just put it up there. And it's kind of like, you don't have to watch the actual stream. You get all the best moments. And I was like, yeah, this is what I want. So I'm happy with it. Absolutely. Smart move. I think it is the way to go on YouTube right now.

The next thing I'm thinking about is a reaction channel. Oh, yeah. Where it isn't just like reacting to gaming things. I'm going to react to everything. That's where it's at right now. Reactions? It might just be because I like watching reactions, but I see people do it, and I'm like,

I could react to this better than this person could. It's like Sam was just watching 40K lore for the last 40 hours of his stream. I'm aware. He'll tweet like, yo, jump back in to 40K lore. I'm like, look at this nerd. What a loser. I'm the guy who's been painting Warhammer for like three years.

All right. This guy hasn't even painted a miniature. He hasn't even built one. You know what? It's a smart play, though. I'm not going to lie. There's nothing Warhammer nerds like more than watching people get into Warhammer. That's true.

It's just a fact. It's just a fact. It's just a fact. People are like, oh, this guy's going to learn about the Invictus Chloricomechesis. You're like, great. The Mechanicus Adeptici. You're like, yeah, alright. You're not wrong. But then, I was thinking of that too. I was like, dude, I could literally

just have a thing on my stream where I'm like, oh'm gonna react to this video and then boom I just clipped that out put it up on the old Crenclips channel the Crendor reacts to this video yep boom got it easy plus I think it's easier because like when you make those highlight compilations it's like so much shit jammed together it's like not everyone wants to watch every game in those compilations and it fits it doesn't fit my style it's like a zoomer style of all the text being like what's going on the text is like flying all over the screen like i don't want that i don't like that i like just standard normal i sound like my dad talking about what he wants in his phone i'm like I just want a phone that I can dial the numbers and call who I need to call. That's all I want.

Boy, I agree with you a little bit on. Sometimes I watch some of the videos that people post on the internet for things, and it is so manic. I'm just like, why is it so? Why is it edited This way what it's like If you ever take the time to truly Truly watch Diners Drivers and Dives Look at how often they cut Yeah

The cuts per minute Actually per 10 seconds of that show Are out of bounds And it's the same it's like People's I think I mentioned this before, but people's attention spans are so out of whack right now that analytically we learned, this is so fascinating to me,

on YouTube, because doing 5-Minute Gaming News, you can see 5-Minutes hyper-focuses all the details that you miss in a long video, right? And so for the first time ever, I can see when people lose interest in things. And one thing we learned early on was that if you do not have a cut and move the camera at some point

or do something on screen, at least every 10 seconds, interest will drop. Then, here's what's even crazier, I used to end the the videos with all right well that's it for the show thank you so much that kind of thing i'd be like please go support patreon do this this and we noticed that analytically the minute i said all right that's it for the show every time drop off would be like 15 oh yeah huge drop off and i was like how do we get people to because we're only running five minute episodes right and youtube algorithmically is all about um how long people are watching so the longer people watch you the better it is for you well if your

videos are only five minutes you're not you don't have the full, like YouTube just recognizes it at five minutes. So if I made an hour video and you watch 15, YouTube's like, this guy's fucking amazing. Even though you barely watched a fourth of the video. And so what I decided to do was now, instead of saying, all right, well, that's it. Now I segue into a Patreon promotion, then end the video in the last five seconds.

And we learned analytically that the number, into a Patreon promotion, then end the video in the last five seconds. And we learned analytically that the number that used to drop by 15% now drops by like three, 4%. Oh, wow. I know. Crazy. Crazy how you can see into the way people's brains work when you have the math in front of you. It was wild.

And so I was like, oh, all right. And that's, man, dude, it's all a game. The more I deep dive and the more I look at the, another great example is thumbnails. Oh, yeah, thumbnails are great. Here's what I've learned. The best thumbnails are ones that, you know how it used to be like you had to grab attention, right?

Right. Now everyone does the same grab attention thumbnail so the thumbnails that really work now are the ones where one half of the screen is a light color and one half of the screen is a dark color so they contrast so your eye is driven to it and I was like well does that does that make sense for me so I went back to some of my videos and the first one I saw was that war uh world of warcraft versus final fantasy 14 and one side's light blue and one side's dark red and if there's a literal line between them and it has a million views and i was like ah okay like son of uh it's i'm letting you know the more i learn the more i like actually care that's the problem is i just don't care but the more i I learn as we do five-minute gaming news to try to really hone it,

the more I'm like, this is all about kind of scamming the human nature. Well, yeah. That's what I love about it. It's marketing and psychology. It's all marketing and psychology, and I love it. That's what I love most about youtube i'm just like dude this is like when people complain about the algorithm i'm like dude this is so fun like i legit love playing around with the algorithm i'm like what did i do this time oh this one hit nice okay what did i do what did i thumbnail what did i do here and like i love

like simplistic thumbnails like uh you had one i just looked at your thumbnails you have one from like three months ago it's mouthful of nintendo and there's like 20 it's not 20 it's like 10 nintendo games in the thumbnail and hold on i'm just like i don't know what the shit's going on here's the thing and your reaction was what we noticed. That was one of the least good performing videos. Performed the least well of all the videos we made. That is a note that we took. Yeah. Also, what I've learned is that two years ago or something, YouTube kept telling me,

Jesse, Jesse, everyone loves it when you cover Nintendo stuff. Now, Crandor, when have I ever truly covered Nintendo? I have no idea. But they kept telling me analytically, it looks like everyone who watches you watches Nintendo stuff. And I was like, that makes no sense to me. And so, as we started to filter in Nintendo stuff, like covering the different Nintendo things, especially with 5-Minute Gaming News, we realized that Nintendo stuff like covering the different Nintendo things especially with 5 minute gaming news we realized that Nintendo stuff gets the least

traffic. Nintendo across the board gets the least traffic on my channel and we were like what does that mean? and the realization that I had to have within a conversation with YouTube was y'all told me to focus on Nintendo turns out the people who are watching Nintendo were just people coming from

Gerard's channel because of Scary Game Squad or coming from like Crendor's stuff to watch my stuff. And they did not give a damn about me covering Nintendo. Here is the analytics that prove that. And everyone was like, whoa. And I was like, how come I had to figure this out two years later? Like y'all put me on a course and it took it took me looking over the analytics to figure it out but that's like your job it's crazy well i remember just learning about design and it's like thumbnail design in itself should be simplistic it's like

you should just have the least amount of things to get the point across of what the video is about right and so that in itself you're kind of telling point across of what the video is about. Right. And so that in itself, you're kind of telling people this is what the video is going to be. Like, it doesn't have to say the title. Like, for example, I looked up gaming news and this guy has his gaming bolt. Six hundred sixty seven thousand views. Fifteen graphically mind blowing games of twenty twenty two. And it's just a weird like weird muddy looking picture and

it just says those graphics that's like someone's gonna see that and be like oh yeah those graphics i gotta see more about this you know like you don't have to be like here's all the stuff in the video on the thumbnail it's like what's what the video is for yeah you know thumbnails have always been the hardest thing for me just trying to figure out how to make them work and what to do fascinating and a great example and this is a conversation that i had with uh you know my little team here is we did a video about um in the news there was summer games fest and then a game that got delayed and so the thumbnail that they made was a picture of me and then jeff Keighley pointing at Summer Games Fest. And then an image of just like a dude that said delayed over it.

And I was like, I don't know what this means. Nothing about this says what this is about. And of course it didn't do well. Like out of all the videos, it's one of the worst ones we've done. And it's very easy to see how that all translates. It's super interesting. Yeah. I mean, again, that's still why I like YouTube a lot.

I just think that's fun. Twitch is Twitch. Twitch, it's hard to really curate what you're doing unless you just do it every day. If you're like Sam, it's not hard to see why Sam has an audience. Sam streams every day, almost every day, for X number of hours, sometimes way too long, but he's a constant.

And so you as a viewer know you can always tune in whenever it's stream time. So it makes sense because that's what it is. But Twitch is also like a life soul sucker. You have to do it. If you leave, they a life soul sucker. Like you have to do it. Yeah. Every sing.

Like if you leave, they'll find someone else. Yeah. You go on stage. That's what it is. And then the, that's why I love the variety. I love doing podcasts and YouTube and stream like everything because it keeps me sane. I'm not just doing one thing being like, just go do this. Just go do like, I, I hate that.

Absolutely. I cannot stress how just much I love doing shows like this with you or Chaluminati or just whatever, because it feels liberating to not be weighed down by this is my one thing and if I screw this up, I'm done. Like, I can take chances. Thanks to Patreon, I don't have to, like, worry about YouTube. I can just create what I want to create and be fine. And it works.

And then I can take my other time and do other things. Like, you know, work on making video games. You know what I mean? Yeah. I can get there. Yeah. The best advice I can give to anyone Is don't go all in on something

But the problem is if you want to make it You have to like it's a catch 22 Like you have to go all in But at a certain point stop doing that The problem is knowing when And how and it's just It's tough I don't think anyone really knows And if anyone tells you they know and they're trying to sell you like a

I don't know 30 day become a stream if anyone tells you they know and they're trying to sell you like a, I don't know, 30-day become a streamer kit, I'm going to let you know. That's not real. Don't do that. Oh, yeah. We were supposed to look into that. I already don't care. I forgot. It turns out that's one of my six problems.

Well, you know what we didn't forget about? Oh! Wahoo! I know a lot of you out there are planning your summer travels, and you're thinking about going abroad, or maybe you want to stay domestic, but you want to immerse yourself in another culture. Well, now is the perfect time to start with Babbel. Babbel is the language learning app that has sold more than 10 million subscriptions

thanks to Babbel's addictively fun and easy bite-sized language lessons. There's still time to learn that new language before you reach your destination this summer. With Babbel, you only need 10 minutes to complete a lesson, so you can start having real-life conversations in a new language in as little as three weeks. Other language learning apps use AI for their lesson plans, but Babbel has 150 language experts that are creating all sorts of scientifically proven, effective learning lessons in languages like German, Spanish, French, Italian, 14 different languages.

Plus, Babbel's speech recognition technology helps you improve your pronunciation and accent. In fact, I just said pronunciation, and I bet Babbel would catch that. There are so many ways to learn with Babbel. In addition to lessons, you can get podcasts and games, videos, stories, even live classes. Plus, it comes with a 20-day money-back guarantee. Start your language learning journey today with Babbel. Go to babbel.com slash cox to save up to 60% off your first subscription. When you go to babbel.com slash cox. Save that 60%. Babbel, language for life.

Also, today we're brought to you by Honey. Hey, how do you feel about shopping online? Do you do it often? Do you do it as much as I do because I do it too much? Too much. How do you feel about having a promo code at checkout? Do you forget about them? Do you not have them on hand?

Well let me tell you I forget about them often Thankfully Honey is there for me Because Honey knows what's up I will totally forget About thinking about coupons And discounts and all sorts of stuff But Honey is like

What up, dude? You want to save some cash? I'm like, thank you, baby. Thanks to Honey, manually searching for codes is a thing of the past. Waiting for someone to give you a code on a podcast like this, thing of the past. Honey is the free shopping tool

that scours the internet for promo codes and applies the best one it finds to your cart. Imagine you're shopping online, one of your favorite sites. When you check out, the honey button appears and it's like, uh, apply coupons. You do. It takes a few seconds. It'll search the internet for the coupon that is right for you. And once you have that coupon, watch those prices drop.

I use Honey frequently. It works with so many places, especially if you're trying to buy tech stuff online. We recently had to buy a bunch of stuff for the office and a lot of them were just straight up drives, like two terabyte hard drives. And I saved a bunch of money on that. I saved 15 bucks a drive, which is pretty good considering all I did was press one button. Honey doesn't just work on your desktop.

It also works on your iPhone too. Just activate it on Safari, use it on your iPhone, save and go. If you don't already have Honey, you are straight up missing out. So please, do yourself a favor.

Get Honey by going to joinhoney.com slash cox. That is joinhoney.com slash cox to get Honey for free. All right, let's go to chapter seven of Sky the Grandeur. Grandeur, how's that traffic out there? Oh man, you want traffic news? I got traffic news. It looks like there's a bunch of traffic out there.

Really, there's like, there hasn't been a lot of times where there's not a lot of traffic but now we're getting into the end of spring or start of summer it goes traffic-y let me tell you there's people honking people following other people into their parking garages who knows what's happening? When one person's angry and the other person's angry, or one person's angry and the other person's not angry, or, uh... I don't know. There's traffic out there. Back to you.

Thanks, Grendor. Now let's go over to the weather. How's that weather out there? Oh, man. Weather. If you're looking for weather, you've come to the right place. Oh, good. Good. If you're looking for weather, you've come to the right place. I am.

Oh, good. Good. I was worried. All right. Well, I opened the old Cox Crandall podcast comments section from last week's episode, and I right away found an amazing weather suggestion. Wee-wah in Australia. Oh, wee-wah. Right. Sure. Wee-wah in Australia. Oh,

wee-wah. Wee-wah. We head down to wee-wah. Wee-wah New South Wales, Australia. Woppy, take it away. Be activated. Wee-wah.

New South Wales, Australia. Today, 69 degrees Fahrenheit. Nice, 69 degrees Fahrenheit. Nice. 65 degrees. Feels like. Nice. High.

77. Low. 49. Humidity. 78%. Nice. Pressure. 30.02 inches.

Visibility. 10 miles. Wind. 8 miles per hour. 6.40 a.m. sunrise., 516 p.m. sunset. Dewpoint, 58. UV index, 1. Moon phase, full moon.

10 day, 77 degrees, abundant sunshine. High, 77. Wind, south-southwest, 5-10 miles per hour. Tuesday, 72. Sunny. Wednesday, 67. Partly cloudy. Thursday, 66.

Mostly cloudy. Friday, 69. Nice. Cloudy. Saturday, 71. Partly cloudy. Sunday, 71. Partly cloudy.

Monday, 71. Partly cloudy. Tuesday, 71. 1-1-1 Monday, 71. Parley, cloudy. Tuesday, 71. 1, 1, 1, 1, 1. Parley, cloudy. Are you okay? Is everything? Nah, he's probably not okay.

All right. Well, let's go to sports. Sports. A lot of sports stuff going on. NBA playoffs. The Boston Celtics take out the Milwaukee Bucks 109-81. They move on and they will play the Miami Heat in the Eastern Conference Finals. Over in the West, you've got Dallas Phoenix playing tonight.

And the winner of that will play the Warriors in the Western Conference Finals. In the NHL, Rangers Penguins play tonight, Game 7. Also, Calgary DallasDallas play in a game seven. And we had numerous game sevens yesterday that happened. There was the Boston Bruins losing to the Carolina Hurricane. Tampa Bay beat Toronto as the Maple Leafs continue to upset all of their fans. And Edmonton beat Los Angeles. So

a whole bunch of wacky wild stuff going on over in hockey. And then you got your baseball. You got your Yankees in first place with Tampa Bay four and a half out. You got Minnesota in first place. You gotes in first place with Tampa Bay four and a half out. You got Minnesota in first place. You got Houston in first place with the Angels only half game out.

You got the Mets in first. You got the Brewers in first. And you got the Padres in first with the Dodgers a half game out. And the Giants one game out. Wow. Wow. Wow. That's sports.

All right. What is our fact of the day? Fact of the day. Stalling. All right, we got a fact of the day. Some people have an extra bone in their knee, and apparently it's getting more common. What does that mean? I don't know.

You can't add a thing like that to the end of a messed up sentence. Some people have an extra bone in their knee. Like, oh, that's interesting. And it's getting more common. That's threatening. It's got to be the water chemicals and the microplastics, 100%. If you were under the impression that the human body had finished evolving, think again. It turns out that some people have a bone in their knee called a fabella.

And while this particular little bone with an unknown purpose was once fading away over the last century and a half it's gotten more common back in 1875 nearly 18 percent of people examined had a fabella that number dropped to 11 by 1918 however but by 2018 39 had this mysterious bone. Flabella is the name of it? Fabella. Fabella. Fabella. It's just an extra bone. It doesn't do it.

It's kind of like people who have like an elongated tailbone. It doesn't really do anything. It just exists. I guess this thing is just for more stabilization, apparently. Interesting. And now it says it's 39% of humans. Yo. Maybe i don't know why would we need it i don't know let's see all right this says why do some of us have it dr bertha bertha said that no one really knows because it has never been researched the fabella may behave like other sesamoid bones to help reduce friction with tendons redirecting muscle forces or as in the case of the kneecap increasing

the mechanical force of that muscle he said or it could be doing nothing at all or that or or it's doing nothing apparently the reason it's coming back, or the theory, is that the better nutrition is making the average human taller and heavier, and this means we have longer shin bones and larger calf muscles. These changes put the knee under more pressure. Because sesamoid bones, like the fabella, are known to grow in response to the movements they make and the force exerted on them, this could explain why the bone is more common than it used to be fascinating okay i mean i guess that checks out that's interesting look at this it's a fun interesting fact look at us getting some answers

yeah we got all right what is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day is truly a big news story of the day. Uh-oh. Florida man shocked to find eight-foot alligator on front porch. Quote. Just chilling? Just like hanging there? Yeah. It definitely freaked me out.

It's not something you see every day. I love when you switch over to florida man voice like i already know like yeah definitely freak me out he's on the the porch that is that's a big gator though he's not even bugging anybody that gator's just hanging out he's just like a guard gator if anything if you drove past someone's house you saw that shit you would be like that's guard gator oh yeah gator was guarding that that's guard gator he guards that's guard gator they call him gg uh odessa florida it's not every day that an eight foot alligator comes to visit you at your front door well maybe in florida it is i still don't think it is uh it is. It was not the doormat. Ed Ferraro was expecting Wednesday afternoon when he walked out of his home in Odessa.

He heard a rattling at the front door and assumed it was some sort of package delivery, but that was far from the truth. Wait, Ed Ferraro? Isn't that that bone we just talked about? The Ferraro bone? I think, yeah. Did we already forget that boy oh no the the fabula fabula fab the fabuloso fabuloso expecto patrono fabuloso i got up went out there to check what it

was fortunately i cracked my blinds just looked out there i saw this monster alligator on my front porch for us for our old said definitely freaked me out not something you see every day he initially thought the giant reptile was fake and he was simply getting pranked but then i started looking at it and i'm like oh no this is definitely very real i was just completely dumbfounded thankfully a neighbor driving by stopped her car it was on the phone with neighborhood security guards who ended up contacting the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. The area was soon cordoned off. Cordoned?

Cordoned. Cordoned? Chicken cordoned blue. To prevent any unsuspecting joggers or dog walkers from having a face-to-face encounter with the old guard gator. Ferraro said they occasionally see gators in their neighborhoods, lakes, and ponds, but never really near people. Apparently this one had come from across the street. Why the alligator crossed the road? I don't know, he joked. Ferraro assumed the gator needed a place for shade to cool off temperatures time were about 85

degrees and before the trapper could even get to his home the gator got up and moseyed up back on into the lake and that was it i had a bird flying to my house one time that was a whole other experience and never anything even close to this they kind of tend to keep their distance from people in this neighborhood they actually restock lakes with fish to make sure gators have more than enough food so they don't gotta go after small pets state officials say alligators uh considered a nuisance if it's at least four feet in length and this shitty website just started scrolling on its own stop welcome welcome to the style there we go uh if it's at least four feet in length i believe to pose a threat to people pets or property florida has about 1.3 million alligators that call the state uh home and are found in all 67

counties if you're ever approached by a gator, even a small one, you should not handle it because their bites can result in serious infection and it's illegal without a permit. Homeowners should call the alligator hotline. A bite can result in infection, not a bite? I'd be more worried about a gator biting me than like, oh, ow.

I'm gonna get infected. You get like half your hand chomped off and it's infected that sucks well you might as well cut a little bit more off then it was amputated for you uh according to wildlife officials

relocated alligators often try to return to their capture site and can create problems for people and other gators along the way this is why adult nuisance alligators are caught oh if adult nuisance alligators are caught. Oh, if adult nuisance alligators are caught, they are killed. Whoa. If an alligator

successfully returns, capturing it again would be necessary and likely more difficult the second time. What the dingus? Now every time Ferraro... What did they ever do to you? Yeah, he's just trying to live in his swamp. That guy is... is yeah you moved too close to the damn swamp it's not his fault yeah that's uh it's yeah if anything it's the

humans fault like they're just trying to live in their swamp humans are like i went on a mass swamp and it's like no we learned this from shrek get out of my swamp come on yeah yeah this is just like hank the tank again he did nothing wrong hank did nothing wrong just don't approach it don't go anywhere near it leave it alone let him be it's his porch at that point let him have it he said that's the that's the florida gator that's our florida gator boy well i love i I love this photo. I keep looking at it. He is just laying on the doormat.

He looks like a guard Gator. Just honest to God. If you saw this, you would be like, that guy tamed that Gator to protect him. He really does. It's fascinating. I love it. It's so good. All right.

Speaking of good, Crandor, hit him with the socials. We've got socials youtube.com slash cox and crendor podcast all one word i'll probably make that picture the thumbnail because why not uh also youtube.com slash cox and crendor that's where all the animations are you can also find the podcast on soundcloud itunes spotify We're all over. Unless we're not. Also, check out our stuff. We got Cox Clips and now Cren Clips on the YouTube.

Go watch our clips. We got Twitch, Jesse Cox, Twitch, Cren Door, YouTube, Jesse Cox, YouTube, Cren Door, Facebook, Jesse Cox, Facebook, Cren Door, Instagram, Notorious Cox, Instagram, Cren Door was taken, Patreon, Jesse Cox Patreon Crendor

and Warhammer Crendor the true Warhammer channel unlike Sam Stripp and 40k loser that's it alright we'll see you next time and as always to be continued.