Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 380 - Frog Man Doesn't Procrastinate
Episode Date: March 27, 2023It's just one of those Cox n' Crendor episodes, where once again Jesse realizes he's a problem - but not as much as the Frog Men of LA. Meanwhile we once again venture into the world of Crendor, and t...he strange people he meets. The boys also learn more about Irish St. Patty's day. But that's not all - because the big news story is a "beary" worth it. Go to http://factormeals.com/cox50 and use code cox50 to get 50% off your first box. Go to http://meundies.com/CRENDOR to get 25% off your first order and free standard shipping.
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Today's episode is brought to you by Factor.
Factor's gonna get you those good meals.
Also, today we're brought to you by MeUndies.
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Now let's jump into this podcast.
Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog.
Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning.
In the morning.
Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live.
In four-hour recording studios. Recording. Hello everybody, excited, whoa, what?
Hello everybody, exciting, welcome back to show, is I think what I was about to say,
and that's what we're going with
I'm not changing it welcome to Cox and Crandor. Hey going house it I
Said going house it I said you can't even see what I'm saying. I just keep getting more and more angry like I
said
Going house it this is this gonna be one of those days, isn't it?
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
I goofed the intro, but I'm not redoing it.
I'm already like, Cax and Crandor is here with the hi-yo.
Welcome to the Cax and Crandor show.
They just need like a little monkey with cymbals being like.
That's the cherry on top yeah we do we do need some sort of circus fanfare for this show absolutely yes yeah so really how's it going this week i discovered once again that um i have super
mega undiagnosed add just just to the nth degree.
And I was reading this article, boy, I think it was in nature or science or one of those
magazines that has one name, you know what I mean?
Yep.
But, uh, you know, they post all the information and various studies.
I was reading a thing about ADHD and what they were saying was so right on the money
for my entire life.
I was like, oh yeah.
Oh, I am a, I'm a clinical case.
Like down to everything about me.
I'm a clinical case.
And one of the things that they talked about was pushing stuff off.
And only during moments of major change, do you attempt to get things done.
And it hit me that this, I don't know, the past week and a half has been entirely that for me.
So I am leaving this week to go to London, right?
That is a major, I'm spending a week away from my job, from my apartment, from my family, from everything.
Yeah.
my fam from everything from everything yeah and so something in my brain switched where i have been working the hardest i've ever worked not like working long hours just like in the hours that
i'm working going double time right right like giving extra critical critiques of things when
the team's working on stuff like making sure more stuff gets done
like really being the boss i probably should be rather than who i actually am and i'm just trying
to do that plus i'm doing all these videos at once plus i'm doing streaming stuff plus i'm waking up
very early plus when i wake up early i've exercised every single morning. I'm out the door by eight.
Mama mia.
Now, in my mind, all this stuff makes sense to me, but it's nonsense.
Let me try to explain.
In my mind, I'm like, yo, I got to walk all over London.
And because of COVID stuff, I haven't really done a lot of long, crazy walks.
The most I've done is maybe a two a two mile walk which isn't
a lot in the walking world um and i know in london last time i was there we were doing like 10 to 16
mile days yeah right because it's a walking city you're walking everywhere and so i was like oh if
i'm gonna if i don't want to be a sweaty gross gross, fat mess in London, I got to start walking.
And so I am doing running, elliptical, all that kind of stuff,
trying to stamina up.
But none of that makes any sense a week and a half out.
You know what I mean?
That doesn't help.
Maybe a little bit, but that's nothing.
That doesn't do anything.
It's not like, I don't know what I'm thinking, but my brain's like, it makes sense, bro.
We got to do this.
And so I am doing it every day.
I'm going like two and a half, three miles, four miles on the elliptical or the treadmill.
I'm like, I'm like busting hump trying to do.
It does not in my logically, none of that is truly a help at the end of the day.
It might make it easier, but is it like game changing?
No, it's a week and a half.
I don't know what I'm thinking.
And then I'm also just like, okay, well, I got to get all this stuff done.
So in the last week and a half, I've gone through every email.
My emails are cleared.
I've gone through like all the discord things.
That's clear.
It's almost as if I'm expecting to get on a plane and vanish and I got to finish stuff before I leave.
Yeah.
It's like that kind of level of insanity where why am I doing?
Today I looked in the fridge and I had milk there.
And the milk says doesn't expire until the end of April.
I get back April 4th, April 5th, one of those,
the milk's going to be fine.
But in my mind, I'm like,
before I should get rid of that milk,
do I need to buy cereal and just eat a bunch of cereal?
Like that's where my head is at.
That's how crazy I am in my ADHD world,
where I guarantee when I come back,
I'll revert to normal immediately.
I'll just go back to baseline,
be like, I'll work out when I feel like it.
You know, like it'll be fun.
But for some reason, when it's the same reason why I would have a paper due and wait until
the night before.
And then I would go so hard the night before and I would be like a researching mastermind
and, you know, just like see the matrix code and the numbers in front of my face.
But the weeks I had leading up to that,
nah,
nah,
I was like,
I was in Warcraft or something.
It's the same.
It's the same thing now.
It's crazy.
I,
I have not changed my entire life.
This is who I've been.
And I just have moments of,
all right,
let's roll.
And I'm ready to go.
I'd say procrastination is like a ADHD thing.
But I mean, you don't have to have ADHD to procrastinate,
but it can still be a symptom of it.
Because I mean, like, I don't really have ADHD,
but I still will wait till the last minute
to do a lot of things.
But when you wait to the last minute,
do you work on it like a normal person?
Or do you devote your entire being to it?
Well, no, I don't do that.
But that's probably more like a hyper-focused thing.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, that's the ADHD thing where I'm just like, and now it begins.
My watch.
And I just go as hard as.
There's, again, sure. you know what jesse working out every
day in the morning that's that's swell that's very nice but is it necessarily going to change
anything at the moment no is it a long if i keep it up for you know six months hell yeah but i'm
letting you know the minute i get back i'll be like yeah i'm sleeping in today i just know it
i know what's gonna happen i know who i am and then once you I get back, I'll be like, yeah, I'm sleeping in today. I just know it. I know what's going to happen.
I know who I am.
And then once you get to England, you'll be fine.
Well, actually, what about if you just get to the airport, you'll be fine.
Oh, I mean, I'm already because I leave tomorrow.
I'm already in sort of a effort state.
You know what I mean?
I'm going to get to the airport.
I'll be chill.
I'll get on the plane.
I'll be chill.
I'll land.
I'll spend a week in London and be super chill. I'll come back and be like, I'm going to get to the airport. I'll be chill. I'll get on the plane. I'll be chill. I'll land. I'll spend a week in London and be super chill.
I'll come back and be like, I'm going to sleep in today.
Like I don't, I just know what's about to happen.
It's crazy.
Every single time, every time I travel for long periods of time, the week before I'm
like, let's go.
And I'm in like hardcore work mode.
I could have been in hardcore work mode
the entire time
and prevented me having to go
hardcore work mode
the week before I leave some.
Nah, nah.
I'm like relaxed, chill Jesse
most of the time
and then there's a moment
where I'm like,
all right, let's go.
I have no idea.
It's very bizarre.
I think you just,
there's like the importance scale
where it's like something
that's more and more important the closer it is to the deadline.
And then like once it's about to hit, you know, like I can't put it off anymore.
That's when you have to like go crazy on it.
I guess it feels like one of those things where I desperately don't want to think about stuff until it's too late.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It's probably the story of my life where I'm like,
I don't want to deal with that right now.
I'll deal with that later.
And then it's like, bro, it's later.
It's later now.
And I'm like, oh, damn, I really should have thought about this.
And then I kick it into high gear.
And really, I could have just been high gear the entire time and gotten stuff done.
Yeah.
No, I see that.
And I think that's really a lot of it.
I mean, you can see it with people like Pax's that's really a lot of i mean you can see what people like taxes
people like any type of deadline they're just like it's almost we gotta do this shit now
yeah this self-reflection thing makes me feel like a mess we should move on here's the thing
i've got stories you know what so i i have one story. All right. You do your story first. Okay.
All right.
So I went to shout out to El Pollo Loco.
It's lovely.
Great chicken.
It was, I don't know.
I'm going to say seven or eight.
It was dark.
Right.
And we're not quite in summer yet.
So it wasn't, you know, LA summer where it's still light out to like 10 PM.
And so I'm sitting there in the drive-thru
and there's a car in front of me, and there's a bunch of palm tree things lining
one side of the, uh, you know, drive-thru.
And behind it, I see something move. Like, I see
I don't know, it looked like a cryptid. It looked like some creature
going like, skskksksksksks creature going like scatter across the between the palms.
And I was like, what the hell was that?
And I started to get worried because I was like, is that going to be someone who's going to pop out and like try to get me while I'm getting the drive through food?
Or what the hell was that?
And I keep looking at it and there's clearly something there.
I do. I'm telling you, it's like skittering, like skittering. And I was like, it And there's clearly something there But it's, dude I'm telling you it's like skittering
Like skittering
And I was like is it an animal?
What the hell is that?
And then I see behind the palm trees
These things that look like big eyes
Like alien looking eyes dude
And so I got a little concerned
I'm not gonna lie
I was a little worried That I didn't going to lie. I was a little worried
that I didn't know what this was
and it was very weird looking
and the car in front of me pulls up
and they pull up
like out of the drive-thru
very, very slowly
and I couldn't tell
if they saw the thing too
or if they were just checking their food
before they drove off.
But they were, it wasn't like, oh, I'm checking my food, so I stopped for a sec.
It was straight up just very slowly driving away.
And then they slammed on their brakes and very slowly kept going.
I was like, all right, maybe this person's just really bad at driving.
I don't know what's going on, but I got a little worried.
Maybe they saw this thing too.
Maybe there was something they saw and it was
worrying and they didn't want to turn because the
way the drive-thru works is you wrap around the
building and then
there's a very hard
turn to the right. You can't go left
because it's an alleyway that's one way.
So you have to take a hard turn right out
into the street. And whatever this thing was,
was on the right with the palm trees hiding there.
And I was like, oh no, oh, this is bad.
So I drove up and I looked at the guy who was, you know, taking my, my credit card and
he had like paused and he looked across
and he's like, sorry, I thought I saw
something. And so now I'm like,
oh, hell no.
There is a creature
in the palm
trees watching us.
And the guy was
like, alright, here's a car.
Let me get your food. So he closes the drive-thru window.
And now I'm sitting there with one window open thinking, okay,
some creature is going to jump in here and get my ass.
I don't know what it is.
I don't know if it's like calling coast to coast AM.
I don't know if I should be worried or if I'm just, you know,
I didn't know what to think.
Right.
or if I'm just, you know, I didn't know what to think, right?
And I get my food and I roll up my window and I start to pull off. And right there, like crouch down was, I'm going to say it was a guy.
I think he had long matted hair that kind of went all over his body.
He was wearing robes, like five robes, and he had giant swimmer's goggles on.
And he was crouched down, and he was like picking through a garbage can,
and he popped his head up, and he looked like a frog man.
Do you remember the movie, like the first X-Men movie where it had Toad and Toad like had that tongue lick thing?
Dude did the tongue lick thing.
It was like a frog man digging through garbage.
And he like went.
through garbage.
And he like went and then I
I'm telling you
hopped down the street.
Just looked at me, saw me, hopped
away, dude. It was
the craziest thing I've ever seen.
I was
like, what the
No one's gonna believe this.
I was like, no one's gonna believe this. I gotta say
this for Crendor. I can't tell anyone's gonna believe this no I was like no one's gonna believe this I gotta say this for Crandor No, I can't tell anyone to believe this I believe dude
the craziest thing is that street isn't like a
An alley or anything the street that he was hopping out is a residential street this dude was hopping towards houses
Maybe you live there. Yeah, I was gonna say in my mind. He just went home. It was like frack man must leave
So crazy that is the most Los Angeles Yeah, I was about to say, in my mind, he just went home. He was like, frog man must leave. It was so crazy.
That is the most Los Angeles thing I can really imagine.
He stuck his tongue out.
He stuck his tongue.
He went.
Are you sure?
And then he popped.
Are you sure this wasn't some sort of frog cryptid?
It could.
I mean, it could be.
The thing is, is he had hair that was like, you know, like that matted. I haven't washed it in years hair. Right. It could be. The thing is he had hair that was
that matted I haven't washed in years
hair. He had that
going all the way down
his body but then he had robes
that looked like three robes tied up around
him and then giant
ass goggles on.
He just hopped away.
The man hopped away.
So I've got more questions.
Not fast.
For those wondering, he didn't leap.
He just kind of like...
It was like an actual X-Lane.
It was kind of like a skip, but with both feet.
It was so weird.
Yeah, I can picture it.
Kind of like Gollum, but slower.
Yes!
Yes!
So,
first,
he didn't say words,
right?
He just did the tongue lick.
Did said nothing.
I think he was sneaking through
the palm trees
to get to the trash can
that had,
I would assume,
the leftovers from the restaurant.
I don't know what was in there.
I have no clue whose trash can it was.
So I think he went through, which is why I saw him in the palm trees,
because it was those low-to-the-ground palm ferns or whatever they are.
And so I guess that's what he was doing.
And maybe the person in front of me didn't want to hit him
because he was trying to cross.
But I honestly don't.
I do not know.
But he said nothing.
He didn't say a thing. He just his head i swear to you his head popped up like a startled deer and he went like
and then hopped so like he didn't he wasn't like two leg walk and he was all fours
no it wasn't like on all fours it was you when you were a kid, you do that like frog hop. Oh,
yeah, I know. I know you're I got
you now kind of like that, but
less trying,
you know, like when you're a kid, you try to be like a
frog. This dude just kind of like
hopped his way away.
He might have been hopping for years. He's worn
down. His knees
aren't what they used to be. Yeah, I feel
that. I relate. i relate the frog man
uh the other my other question the road yes do you think he's somehow like earned these robes
like in some sort of like you know frog hierarchy i'm let you know, if you're living on the street like a frog, you've earned those robes.
Like, there could be some secret underground frog society we don't know about.
And he's, like, he's a rank three robe-wearing frog man.
He's in, like, the upper echelon.
He did have at least three robes on, so he could be a rank three frog man.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I have no – what weirded me out is I couldn't tell you whether he had pants on or not.
Yeah.
Couldn't tell you.
It was nighttime, right?
It was nighttime.
There wasn't a lot of light in the area.
I knew he had robes on because the light that I did have from my car, I could see the robes on.
But I couldn't tell if he had pants or shoes on.
I didn't look down.
So, yeah, I have no clue.
I don't know.
It's worrisome.
You know, he was in robes.
But it wouldn't have been the first naked guy I've seen in L.A., so.
That's true.
I've seen, you. That's true.
I've seen, you know what?
You drive around LA enough, you're going to see some naked dudes.
It's just a thing.
It's just what it is. That's the city of Los Angeles.
Strangely enough, no
naked women. Just all naked dudes.
It's a thing, I guess.
I imagine
he doesn't wear shoes. He's just built
up calluses.
There was a brief moment where I was like,
I'm going to have to talk about this on Chaluminati.
I think I saw something.
No, it was just LA.
Yeah.
No, that's it.
Plus, I feel like on Chaluminati, people would be like,
he definitely did see a frogman.
We can try and pinpoint where he's from.
Maybe that's what I need.
Maybe I need to see a frogman just to change my life around.
Hey, if the frogman can live his life, I can live mine.
Frogman doesn't procrastinate.
He knows what he wants.
He goes out and he gets it.
I almost spit out my water.
Frogman doesn't procrastinate.
It's my favorite sentence.
And that is absolutely the title of this episode.
I'm making a note now.
Frogman doesn't procrastinate.
He's just running off instincts.
Yeah.
You know?
But here's the thing.
I don't think Frogman has to run a business.
I don't think Frogman has to run a business.
I don't think Frogman does a lot of trash.
I feel like Frogman's life is as simple as life should really be.
I don't know.
We still don't know about the robes.
We don't.
I don't.
Like, who knows how he earned those robes? It may seem simple, but it may not have been simple.
But however he earned those robes, he did it the Frogman way.
And that's what we should take away from this.
Yeah.
Because frogman doesn't procrastinate.
Yeah.
Those robes are badges of honor.
It's like the Boy Scouts, but for frogs.
Exactly.
Frogmen.
My bad.
Frogmen.
Yeah.
You think they have like derby cars?
The racing?
Yeah.
They have to craft them out of the bones of a chicken restaurant.
Yeah. So I've a chicken restaurant. Yeah.
So I've got some stories.
Yes.
I can't wait to hear these.
They aren't as crazy, but they are normal crazy person stories.
Well, we got plenty of those.
Yep.
So the first one is a very basic one.
All right.
I was at Target.
And there was like four self-checkouts, right? And all of them were taken. Basic crazy story. I was at target and there was there was like four self-checkouts right
and all you say basic crazy story i was at target that's really all we need to say
i was at target go on so i was at one of the self-checkouts there's other people at the
other self-checkouts they were all full right four self-checkouts all being used and this lady
checkouts. They were all full, right? Four self checkouts all being used. And this lady walks up to wait. And you would think you'd be like, oh, that's fine. You know, I'm up next,
right? She goes, there's no registers open. And the person working the self checkout is just like,
not at the moment. And she says, that's awful.
And the person working at Target goes, it is.
And that was it.
I almost burst out laughing.
Do you ever get the feeling that a lot of people are just lonely and they got no one to talk to. And so they just want to talk to strangers
in the hopes they'll have some communication with anyone,
especially older people.
And I know I'm probably going to get shit for saying this,
but I'm going to say it anyway,
because it's my experience.
There's two categories.
Like there's old men and old women.
And old men have one way of trying to strike up a conversation. And old women have another way of trying to strike up a conversation and old women have another way
of trying to do it. And I always feel like the old women start with a complaint or start with
something that they're aggravated about. Well, the old men just say a random thing.
Like old men will say, Oh, what crazy weather we're having and expect you to respond. Well,
old women will notice a thing that's happening around
them and comment on it
snarkily, waiting for you
to be like, I agree. Never
have I ever met an older woman who's like
crazy weather, huh?
Not a thing that happens.
I actually have. I've seen a few
of those. Really? It's never
happened. Maybe it's just an LA thing.
Maybe you're just too... And maybe it's just an la thing maybe you're
just maybe it's just like a me thing maybe old women are threatened by me that's true i feel
like everybody's threatened by you except frog men people on that highway you always have stuff
happen on yeah yeah and the guys who ask me for money at the grocery store. Yeah. Other than that,
everyone else is threatened.
I've been in line and there's always an old
woman, she's just like, I'm gonna
buy this candy bar. And I'm like, oh,
that's a good plan. She's like, my grandson loves
candy. Like, I've had that
happen, you know. Never. They might be lonely.
I've only ever had older men be like,
what a crazy day
it is out there. I'm like, oh, yeah?
Yeah, I almost got in a car wreck, damn kids.
And I'm like, oh, yeah, it's like that in LA sometimes.
Meanwhile, no women ever talk like that.
They're always just like, all I wanted was pickles, and they didn't have the right pickles.
And now I have to buy these pickles.
And I'm like, are you talking to me?
I don't know what's going on right now.
I think that's
common, but it's also more prevalent in LA.
Because in LA, everyone's entitled because they're there
because they're like, yeah, I'm kind of a big deal.
I'm in Los Angeles.
I wrote for, you know,
some random ass movie nobody watched.
And now they're not
relevant because that movie didn't take off. They're still in LA. And they've just watched and now they're they're not relevant because that movie
didn't take off they're still in la and they've just grown up and they're bitter i guess i don't
either way i think this person was they're just impatient that's all it was like you can't just
wait like one minute maximum for someone to like check out that's it however there are some people take 10 years at the
self-checkout like my god it's like i like go up i scan the thing i put in the bag i pay i'm gone
there's some people they're just like how do i scan this item where's my wallet i don't even let
me look back here then i scan it's like yeah i was literally like five spots behind them in line
and now i'm like leaving and they're still checking out.
Yeah.
I feel like in that case,
you should just let someone else do that for you.
You know what I mean?
There's a reason why checkout lanes exist.
Yeah.
Like at that point,
better off.
Yeah.
Go into like the normal checkout.
Unless they don't got it.
Usually they got at least a couple of those open.
I think probably it's about,
you know,
it's the same thing when you see a dude
who's like 95 and he's still driving he's like i want my independence it's like yeah but you're
going six miles an hour like look i get it i i understand me too buddy but at a certain point
you got to be like all right maybe i'm walking there or I'm taking someone else's driving me.
Like I'm taking a taxi or a bus or something.
I get it.
But maybe let someone check you out instead of you.
I don't trust them.
They rip me off and charge me like, okay, well, don't want to talk about that.
There's some people you're never going to please.
This is what it is.
It is. Anyway, that was story number one. Okay. That was just funny. want to talk about that there's some people you're never gonna please them this is what it is it is
it is um anyway that was story number one okay that was just funny if anything i like laughed
at it i was just like especially the way the the target employee like reacted to it she was just
like yep sure sure is this is absolutely true everyone i i know who's ever worked at target
they always have a story about someone who complains about the Target to them.
And they just go like, look, yeah, no, I agree.
And I work here.
Like everyone working at Target.
I feel like Walmart's the same thing where you're like, yeah, no, you're not wrong.
But look, this is just my job.
I don't care.
That's remind me.
I was like, I don't remember what i was buying at
target this old woman came up and she was like do you work here and i was like no i was wearing
like a green shirt and sweatpants like the opposite colors of what target even wears i love
that you were wearing a green shirt and sweatpants and she was like that looks like a guy who could help that's a target employee yeah i i don't know her thought process but i was just like no and she's like oh sorry
all right um so next up we've got we're at uh brunch all right we're at brunch and you know
we're just eating everybody around's doing their thing uh and this table
behind us this guy kept getting louder and louder and we didn't know what they were talking about
i think it was like a brother and a sister they're probably like in their 40s 50s and
uh question why do you think they were brother sister and not together they just had that vibe
and also from what he mentioned oh okay all right uh so and i don't know if somebody in the last
episode or two episode there's like the jesse and creditor sure are nosy listen i'm not like
sitting there with binoculars all right if somebody's just being loud i'm not like sitting there with binoculars. All right. If somebody is just being loud, I'm not going to be like, boy, I don't hear anything.
Like, I'm going to listen.
Yeah.
We're not actively snooping.
That's not what we're doing.
I'm just observing my surroundings.
Exactly.
We put ourselves in a place where we let the craziness come to us and we don't instigate
it.
We're not searching for it.
We just know that if you look things will happen if you're just observant you will see the craziest stuff
listen my entire body's like falling apart let me have this okay please uh so he says
this is like this is the only thing I could really make out. He says,
what's he do but text once a year
to change dad's tire in front of a church?
That is brother-sister talk, yeah.
And then she just looked,
then they got,
that was the last thing they said before they left.
Then they got up and left
and she just looked very done with him
and uncomfortable and they just walked out.
I was just like, what the shit? Do you think they're talking about a third sibling i think they were
yeah like the one who doesn't give like any attention to the family i think so and i think
either she might she might like their other sibling and he doesn't like that sibling that was kind of the vibe i got and so definitely has the the vibe of i'm here for dad and he's not here for dad so how dare he
kind of thing yeah that's that's what it felt like and so i was just like damn but then uh
i was like breaking down i was just like i mean what's he so he's texting once a year to change their dad's
tire in front of a church so that's like a thing in itself there's a lot going on there yeah yeah
so it's like the is he with the is he with the dad at church is his dad like come to church and
he's like nah but once a year he's like all right i'll go and then they go and he's got to change
the tire there i'd like to imagine they meet on neutral ground right like god all right, I'll go. And then they go and you got to change the tire there. I'd like to imagine they meet on neutral ground, right?
Like, all right, I'm gonna change your tires.
Okay, well, I'll only let you change them at the church.
All right.
It's the only time I'll meet him up anywhere.
Yeah, I feel like maybe what if this third sibling is like really into goth gear and stuff?
Oh, maybe.
He's like the black sheep.
And the dad, the whole family doesn't like him, but he's very good with tires.
He's a mechanic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're going to change my tires.
I want you to do it at church.
He's like, okay.
So while dad's in church, he's outside changing the tires.
He listens to that rock and roll.
Doesn't listen to Jesus.
I got to give him some residual Jesus.
Jesus through osmosis.
He'll be close to the church and maybe someone will rub off on him.
And then everyone else around was just, you know, doing their thing.
Well, of course.
So that was story number two.
Story number three.
Oh, boy. This could have been like an la thing uh so this man looked like a frog so this man looked like a frog
he was hopping around so i i go to the post office i have to drop off uh check. So I got to mail it. And I'm like, all right, just go in and out.
That's it.
But I go in and there's a line, a line to literally like mail your stuff.
So I'm like, all right, great.
So it's like, I don't know, it was like 4 p.m.
and everyone's going in at the last minute to send their shit.
And so, you know, it's moving fast.
But there's this guy, you know, like off to the side. They like areas you like wrap your shit or like send it.
There's like PO boxes, whatever.
I do know that.
Except in L.A., they don't.
Someone will go up to the front with a box.
The person there will be like, all right, so take this pen, go fill out this stuff.
And rather than move, they'll just stand there and not move.
And even though the person at the counter is like, if you could just move off to the side, like, no, I'll be just a minute.
I'll be just a minute.
And you're like, we're waiting.
If you move off to the side, we can get our stuff.
All I'm here is to pick up a package.
If you could just, they're like, hold on.
I'm almost done.
And then people get into fights.
It's never, no one listens.
LA is a mess.
Anyway, please continue.
So this guy, he's got his phone like in his shoulder.
He's like crunched up with his phone in his shoulder.
And he's like wrapping this box with tape.
I don't know what he's, he's just like got tape.
He's just like, and he's like,
like the loudest person in the entire post office.
Like you can hear him over everything.
And he goes, yeah, yeah.
Jonathan stole my idea.
Anything for attention.
Am I right?
Yeah. Yeah. He's got money, bro. Yeah. He's for attention, am I right? Yeah.
Yeah, he's got money, bro.
Yeah, he can buy all that stuff, you know?
Like, what do you know about Julius?
Okay, listen, I'm going to get more followers anyway from this.
And that's what he said.
Oh, I hate it.
And then I mailed my letter and I left.
And I was like, what the shit?
I don't know what's going on.
It's like he's ramping his butt.
It's the exact same vibe as when a person on the phone goes, right.
And it only cost me $100,000.
It was super cheap.
And you're like, what?
Shut up.
Shut up.
cheap you're like what shut up shut up it was just the fact that like so his idea is getting stolen because his friends got more money to buy the things to execute the idea but then i guess maybe
it's julius or julius has worked with the guy but it doesn't matter because whatever they're
currently doing he's gonna get more followers from. Boy, this sounds like an LA conversation.
Yeah.
Just the idea of someone being able to do something that you can't because they have more money absolutely is the thing.
But the fact that he was like, it's follower based.
So this was all about social media cred is gross.
Just the grossest thing.
Yeah.
So I don't even.
He didn't look like a TikToker.
He didn't look like an Instagrammer.
He didn't look like anything.
He just looked like a dude.
So I was like, I don't know what he does.
If people saw us, I don't think they'd think that we did anything creative at all.
Yeah.
They'd probably see me.
This guy's probably a frog man. Yeah. They see me and they're like, this guy's definitely going to give me $5 at all. Yeah. They probably see me and this guy's probably a frogman.
Yeah.
They see me and they're like,
this guy's definitely going to give me $5 at the grocery store.
Yeah.
This guy definitely procrastinates.
Unlike frogmen,
who we know do not.
So,
I still don't know.
Maybe one day he'll pop up
on my social media.
You know how sometimes you talk about peanut butter
and it pops up on an ad on your phone?
Maybe that'll happen.
Maybe his channel will pop up.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Yeah, I would love to know.
If you ever find this guy, you got to let us know.
Yeah.
I can't imagine the videos of him and Julius,
but I'd love to see it.
Yeah.
Do you think there's think he and Julius do another
Cox and Crandor-like show out there
and we just are unaware?
It's possible. Maybe that's
their podcast. Him and Julius
in the morning.
That was my week. I didn't see any frog people,
but I just saw normal people
doing their thing. It's equally fun. You don't have any frog people, but I just saw normal people doing their thing.
It's equally fun.
Yeah.
You don't have to be a frog person to be entertaining.
Yeah, exactly.
That's the moral here.
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All right, let's go to Chapter 7 of the Quendor.
Quendor, how's that traffic out there?
Oh, boy, traffic up here.
It's looking pretty packed, actually.
Everybody's going all over.
There's conventions happening.
There's people traveling to the uk tomorrow there's uh uh you know a whole bunch of stuff
have spring break you know people traveling for spring break so a whole lot of action going on
uh also from last week i saw in the comments an irish guy said quote irish guy here that's how i knew he's an irish guy uh born and
bred for patty's day not patty's day or whatever monstrous terms you use every town and city city
usually has a parade mostly schools and local businesses advertising themselves uh blah blah
blah blah they got on bond they're those leprechaun hats going around uh i want to talk
about the rest of this while i'm not in the chapters chapter copy back to you do they wait
time out do they yeah still get very drunk in public and dye their rivers green and have like
uh whirly gizmos on their heads and stuff or is it just i put a green hat on
uh usually has a parade biggest ones in dublin uh nothing on the scale of the american ones we
don't need to wear green that's a very american thing uh though many direct decorations and parade
things will be green they're daft leprechaun hats going around. Most people dislike them. After the parade,
you usually go to your local, or if you don't have a
local, you end up wandering around looking for somewhere
that looks like a good time is happening.
Group chats light up across the
country as everyone tries to pinpoint where their
mates are. Pictures of the first pint
of the day are common. It's a
bank holiday, so some businesses are closed.
Mostly just pubs, shops, restaurants,
and any place involves
uh involved with inebriated revelry left open some people drink all day some people go home
drink at home go out for the night while there's real risk losing their deposit and have a house
party and rented accommodation one thing's for sure there's a lot of drinking and it's the busiest
night of the year for most pubs, restaurants, and off-licenses.
Okay, so it's like the U.S., except here we just dress up like idiots, is what you're saying.
Yeah, here we're just wearing green.
We dress up.
We're like, woo!
Over there, they just drink.
Right.
I feel like a lot of the things we do in the U.S. is for show.
Every time we have a festival or a parade or a holiday, it's all about the show of it.
It's very much like, look at me.
Yeah, it's less about the day and more about me, which is a very American thing.
If it's July 4th, it's not about the founding of a nation.
It's about, I wore an American flag shirt.
Look at me.
I set fireworks off in my butt. That kind of stuff nation and the rebel. It's about, I wore an American flag shirt. Look at me. You know,
I said fireworks off in my butt,
you know, like that kind of stuff.
Yeah,
exactly.
Although there still might be one if they get drunk enough.
Yeah.
I mean,
but they wouldn't,
you know,
in the,
in Dublin,
for instance,
I don't think they'd be like everyone.
I'm wearing a green shirt.
Don't pinch me.
You know?
Yeah. So't pinch me. You know? Yeah.
So there you go.
Traffic.
All right.
Let's go to weather.
Weather.
All right.
Here we go.
Weather time.
We've got Fond duue Lock Wisconsin, my hometown
and home of the Big Mac guy.
Whoa.
Whoa. Fondue
Lock? Fondue Lock.
Wisconsin? Like fondue as in
cheese fondue?
F-O-N-D
space D-U space
L-A-C. I figured
it seemed like a fun one.
We've been going overseas
for a lot of these. Might as well bring it back to America
for one. Hell yeah.
Also, I'm very curious
about...
I don't know.
This seems like native.
Uh-oh.
Fond du Lac at first I was like,
is that French? But but no this seems like a
native thing it probably is there's a lot of places around here with uh like native american
names absolutely it is it means where the current is blocked oh interesting that would explain why
it's by water as well all right yeah yeah, yeah, okay. It's right by Lake
Winnebago. And this is,
I love that. I love that. Lake
Winnebago, that's a great name. I assume
that's what the Winnebago's named after?
Question mark? I don't know,
maybe. So it's between Milwaukee
and Green Bay, and this is where the
Big Mac guy, the guy who ate like a bajillion Big Macs
is from? Yes. Our favorite
guy who's somehow still like just kicking, doing his thing.
Don Gorski.
Yeah.
He is, as of last year, he's eaten a Big Mac every day for 50 years.
That's out of control.
That is actually insane.
He's got an Instagram and he doesn't post on it.
Well, of course not. Yeah, of course not. He's got shit. That man's got an Instagram, and he doesn't post on it. Well, of course not.
Yeah, of course not.
He's got shit.
That man's got shit to do.
Hold on.
Is he still going?
Let's see.
Don Gorski.
Doesn't seem like there's any news as of late.
Oh, wait.
Never mind.
Two weeks ago.
Looks like he's still eating Big Macs.
Still going.
In Fox's sweet soul. Macs. Still going. In Fond du Lac,
it is 41 degrees
Fahrenheit. Currently feels
like 36.
6 mile an hour winds, 51%
humidity, 29.99 inches
of pressure, 9 miles visibility,
UV index 0 of 10,
dew point 24, 646
AM sunrise, 713 PM
sunset, and a moon phase of waxing crescent.
Going to the 10-day.
Tonight, periods of rain and freezing rain becoming partly cloudy, 25 degrees.
Monday, 40, partly cloudy.
Tuesday, 44, partly cloudy.
Wednesday, 33, with some a.m. snow showers.
Thursday, you got your p.m. rain, snow.
Friday, 43, with thunderstorms. Saturday, 37, partly cloudy.m. snow showers. Thursday, you got your p.m. rain, snow. Friday, 43 with thunderstorms.
Saturday, 37 partly cloudy.
And Sunday, 47 partly cloudy.
You know how when we look at cities, we often look at the food and the restaurant choices?
Yeah.
And we're always just blown away like, oh, this little small town in the middle of nowhere has a Michelin star restaurant.
And, oh, my God, I can't believe that this island has these beautiful looking restaurants.
Oh, we're in the middle of a desert.
Oh, wow, it's so beautiful.
Here, every restaurant looks like it is stuck in 1976.
And every restaurant is named like Connie's or Ang and Eddie's or the
bullpen or Ram jets or fryer tux.
Bar and grills.
Everything's a bar and grill and everything looks like the chairs
have been there for 45 years.
The floors are covered with who knows what the food like it just
looks it.
It all looks like bar food,
even if it's not a bar.
Yeah.
Everything,
everything looks like bar food.
I mean,
I'd eat there.
Cause you know me,
I'm not fancy,
but like everything is fries,
layers of gooey cheese,
fried food,
sandwiches that look like it's just like lunch meat sandwich they put together.
Well, I mean, Wisconsin, you got your three staples.
You got cheese, you got brats, and you got beer.
All right.
Those are like, that's the trifecta.
If you're going to have a restaurant, you got to have those three things.
I'm going to cut these and save them all and send all three to you at once.
Because I want you to take a look at something.
Because I'm convinced that in the end, all these restaurants are one continuous restaurant.
All right.
I'm trying to.
Oh, my goodness.
Ooh, Frenchies Tavern.
Yep, yep.
Oh, I got to send you something, too.
All right, here we go.
Frenchie's Tavern has the outdoor decor of your local park.
That's pretty good.
There, look at that one.
That's your favorite.
Okay, I'm going to include this.
I'm including this.
All right, the one you just sent.
So take the one you just sent me.
All right.
And I'm going to send you these two other
locations okay tell me all three are not the same restaurant everything is the every restaurant has
the exact same the quote of just like we're trying dog we're trying they they are old both the clientele and the building uh that is a lot of
deep fried stuff there let's see about this one okay this one's got steak this one's a little
higher higher class got steak but that's also sure okay yeah i don't know okay hold on this is this is my favorite this is the most like wisconsin
you've got a birthday cake a glass of something and a paps blue ribbon
that is that is so midwestern it's gross
hold on we have to describe this image to people Because this is, alright
Just, if you're driving, don't close your eyes
But everyone else, close your eyes and try to imagine this
Unless you're like me and you can't just deal with it
Alright, from right to left
In this image
Is a
Pabst blue ribbon
And behind it, several candles from a birthday cake
That have been put out
And then, next to that that kind of off to the right is, I assume, a pitcher of water or like a bar glass of water.
And behind that, a candle and one of those candle holders from like 1954.
And then a bunch of butter packets.
Yeah, so many butter packets.
And then what appears to be whiskey or maybe a rum and coke is sitting next to the past blue ribbon.
And then behind that is another drink that looks like a past blue ribbon along with someone's arm.
And then in the center is this birthday cake that is neon pink with a little tiara on it.
And I just, this is,
I think I've been to this birthday party.
When I lived in Ohio,
this was pretty much every birthday party.
That is, that's something.
What's crazy though is when you look at the steakhouse,
for example, you mentioned,
I remember why I love the Midwest so much.
That is a big, delicious-looking steak with a great-looking baked potato.
I know I would devour it.
If you're in the Midwest, you're getting good steak and potato.
That's just the thing you're going to get that's good.
That is very true.
Probably some French onion soup in there.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm not looking for a delicacy.
I'm looking for like salt of the earth
food. And they got that. Admittedly, they got
that. But everything
looks like a restaurant you'd see on Kitchen Nightmares.
Right. Now the one I sent you
is Salty's Seafood and
Spirits. It has a shark
crashing through the wall. Love that.
And
I always found it weird if there's like
seafood places that do steak. But I guess there's like seafood places that do steak but I guess there's
like surf and turf sure but it just it still feels weird to get a steak at a seafood place I don't
know but is it a real seafood place if it's in Wisconsin yeah I'm blown away by this so I'm
looking at salty seafood and the first image is again potatoes, but then also a piece of unidentified meat.
Is that bacon?
I don't know what that is.
Is that ham?
I don't know what that is.
But also salty seafood.
Their decor is like you're at a themed restaurant in Disney.
It's very like early 2000s, late 90s.
Yeah.
Like a rainforest cafe.
It does have a rainforest cafe vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I kind of like that.
Do you see the sign?
I sent you the sign.
Oh, yeah.
It is...
That kind of looks like me as a sailor.
Yeah, you would do great at salties.
They'd be like, the owner's here.
They'd think I'm a frog.
Yeah, but all the drinks are I'm looking at one drink
And it's purple but it's got a
Pineapple in it so I'd probably enjoy the hell
Out of that
Oh I wonder if this is on
The water or I don't know
Uh Schmitty's
I see Schmitty's on the water
And Salty's is near the water schmitty's bar and grill
yeah i see that um so there you go that's the weather that's the weather all right let's go to
sports sports welcome to sports uh so we've got a lot of stuff happening with sports. March Madness has been happening.
If you check out the men's bracket right now, we've got the final.
Let's see.
Who's going here?
Is it the final four?
I think it is.
We've got UConn, FAU, Miami, and San Diego State, which it is San Diego State versus FAU.
So literally a 9 and a 5 seed.
And then Miami and UConn, a 5 and a 4 seed.
So none of the 1, 2, or 3 seeds made it, which is pretty nutty.
And then over in the women's bracket, South Carolina is playing Maryland.
That's a 1 and a 2.
Miami is playing LSU.
That's a 9 and a 3.
Virginia Tech, Ohio State, that's a 1 and a 3. And then Louisville, Iowa is a 5 and a 2. So's playing LSU. That's a 9 and a 3. Virginia Tech, Ohio State, that's a 1 and a 3. Then Louisville,
Iowa's a 5 and a 2. So they're a bit more higher seeds. The men ones
are a little crazy.
But it's why they call it the madness.
Then
we got the NBA. Got the Bucs,
Celtics, 76ers all clinching playoff
spots in the 1, 2, 3. Got the Cavs right
behind. Then the Knicks, the Nets,
and then the play-ins currently Heat, Hawks, Raptors, Bulls.
In the West, you got the Nuggets, Grizzlies in.
Kings, Suns, Clippers, Warriors.
And then the play-ins looking like Pelicans, Timberwolves, Lakers, Thunder.
Although the Mavericks half a game back and the Jazz one game back.
Trying to get that.
Then in hockey.
Also closing in on playoffs.
You got the Bruins in first still, Maple Leafs in second,
then you've got the Hurricanes and the Devils clinching,
the Rangers right behind.
And in the West, you've got the Wild, the Avalanche,
and the Stars all battling for first,
and then you've got the Golden Knights and the Kings
and the Oilers also there.
And I think the Seattle Kraken are actually in the spot right now
to make a playoff berth.
That's pretty neat.
Good.
After only one year in the league.
So, neat.
And that is sports.
Okay.
What is our fact of the day?
Fact of the day.
Day.
Day.
Day.
Day.
Day.
Um.
Someone tried to sell New Zealand on eBay.
I was about to say, when was this?
But I guess if it's on eBay, it has to be recent.
So, all right.
Yeah.
Let's go.
Some odd things have been sold on eBay.
From a grilled cheese sandwich with the face of the Virgin Mary
to Justin Timberlake's half-eaten French toast.
But one of the strangest listings ever had to be for the country of New Zealand.
A man from Brisbane, Australia tried to sell New Zealand in 2006 on eBay.
The listing described the country as
the dodgiest American
Cup win ever,
and said it has very ordinary
weather. Despite those
selling points, the ridiculous auction gained
a ton of interest. The starting bid was
one cent, and after 6,000 hits
and 22 bids, the selling price
for New Zealand climbed all the way up to $3,000.
Eventually,
eBay caught wind of the auction and
pulled it from its site.
Quote, clearly New Zealand is not
for sale, a eBay
Australia spokesperson said at the time.
I love that they're just like,
guys, we shouldn't have to say this.
It's not for sale.
Aw, geez. So yeah, guys we shouldn't have to say this it's not for sale oh geez
um
so yeah it's your fact of the day
alright what is our
big news story of the day
big news story of the day
is
escape artist Missouri
bear heads to Texas zoo
with moat
what
here's the bear alright go on Missouri bear heads to Texas Zoo with moat. What?
Here's the bear.
Alright, go on.
Here he is.
I must ask,
just the world in general,
why do I look like every bear?
When you look into a bear's eyes,
I just see myself. I'm like, like oh my god this guy's going through
it just like me i look at it he's just he's in the water and he's like oh god another day of this
bullshit uh let's see what let's see what he did an escape artist bear from missouri's headed to
a texas zoo with a moat in hopes that it will put an end
to his wandering. The St. Louis Zoo cited the specific and unique personality of the Andean
bear named Ben in announcing the move Tuesday. His soon-to-be home at the Gladys Porter Zoo
near South Padre Island in Brownsville, Texas, has a long history of working with Andean bears,
but it's still adding some extra security. We're confident it's going to be good for Ben, said Walter Dupree,
the Texas Zoo's curator of mammals. Ben gained notoriety in February by busting out of his
habitat twice. The first time, the four-year-old 280-pound bear tore apart clips that attached
stainless steel mesh to the frame of a door but he was recaptured before
the zoo opened for the day zoo workers then added zip tie like attachments made of stainless steel
that had 450 pounds of tensile strength damn but ben managed to escape through those about two
weeks later my bear this is the houdini bear uh i mean, we also, we had Hank the Tank was fitting through doors.
You know what I mean?
That's true.
Like pet doors.
The zoo was open.
The zoo was open this time, but he captured, he was captured less than an hour later on a public path.
He's just like, nice, I'm free.
He went for a walk.
He was taking a stroll.
Ben now lives in a non-public area of the St. Louis Zoo
where he can move indoors and out and even splash in a pool
while he awaits his move.
He's so fun.
He's so playful.
We'd love to be able to keep him here, said Regina Mazzotti,
the zoo's vice president of animal care.
And that's it.
I was about to say, and?
We'd love to, but no, I guess they're just doing it.
But he keeps breaking out.
They don't know how to deal with it.
I mean, how do you deal with a bear like him?
Look at him.
Look at his eyes, dude.
Look at his eyes.
Build a moat.
That bear's like, you can't contain me.
At least now, I mean, they're going to a place with other Andean bears.
Maybe he just wants friends.
I swear to God, he's got a human face.
I'm looking at this bear.
The more I look at his face, the more I'm like, this guy has, this guy's thinking about escaping.
He's like, can you control me?
He does look like he can't be controlled.
Yeah, I love this guy.
Very much.
Big fan.
And that's your big news story of the day.
All right.
Well, that's it for us.
Thanks so much for listening or watching.
I've enjoyed this podcast.
Crendor, hit them with the socials.
We've got socials.
YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast.
That's where you can find all the episodes of these podcasts and when they get uploaded.
So hit the bell to be notified when we upload.
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You can like it.
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You can also go to
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That's where all the animations are.
There was a new one uploaded
like two weeks ago.
So if you haven't seen that,
you should go watch it.
It's pretty funny.
Ha ha.
Also, you go to our website.
So we got youtube.com slash Jesse Cox.
youtube.com slash Crandor.
Twitch TV, Jesse Cox.
Twitch TV, Crandor.
Patreon, Jesse Cox.
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Instagram, that's Aureus Cox. Instagram, Crandor is taken. TikTok, Jesse Cox. TikTok, Crendor. Twitch TV, Justin Cox. Twitch TV, Crendor. Patreon, Justin Cox. Patreon, Crendor. Instagram, that's Aureus Cox.
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YouTube, Warhammer, Crendor.
Yep, yep, yep.
Yep.
All right.
Well, that is it.
Thanks so much.
We'll see you all next time.
And as always,
Woo!
No be continued.