Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 383 - The Green Cheetah Returns?!
Episode Date: April 30, 2023The boys are back and this time Jesse has a run in with a potential Green Cheetah, which leads to a discussion about witch battles. Don't ask. Speaking of don't ask, why is Crendor's YouTube filled wi...th To Catch A Predator clips? I guess it's no better than Jesse watching way too many RV reviews. Somehow they end up on late night talk show hosts, long book titles, and other nonsense. You know, Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://factormeals.com/cox50 and use code cox50 to get 50% off your first box. Go to http://auraframes.com and use COX to get up to $30-off plus free shipping on their best-selling Carver mat frames.
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Today's episode is brought to you by Factor. Factor's gonna get you them good meals.
Also today we're brought to you by Aura Frames. Do you like pictures? Of course you do.
Now hang them up in your home, you weird nerd. Let's jump into this podcast.
Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog.
Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning.
In the morning.
Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studio. Grendar in the morning. Hey. Oh, hello.
Hey, hello. What's going on?
Hanging out. Hanging out with my dude.
Making a podcast.
Alright. Well...
That wasn't enough for you? You needed more?
I mean, that's great, but it's not going anywhere.
Well, I mean, who knows? This podcast could go places. That's true. I mean, this's great, but it's not going anywhere. Well, I mean, who knows?
This podcast could go places.
That's true.
I mean, this podcast has gone places.
Mostly the Chicago area.
Really, really, at the end of the day, mostly Chicago.
Literally, physically, emotionally, mentally.
Metaphysically?
Metaphysically.
Physimetically.
Metallurgically?
How's your week?
Well, I... First off, before we even start,
I either met a stalker
or the love of my life. I'm not sure.
Alright. Perfect.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I was leaving my...
Earlier this week, I'm leaving my apartment,
and as I'm going to exit the parking garage,
this woman in a white Jeep
zooms in front of me.
And she, you know, stops halfway through that weird thing where they realize,
oh, my God, I almost killed someone.
That stop.
And then she looks at me and then, like, gives me a wave.
And she's like, I don't know.
I'm going to say, I'll be nice.
She might be the love of my life.
I'm going to say middle-aged Asian woman.
And she, like, give me this nice wave.
And I wave back.
I'm like, all right, yeah, yeah, go, go, go.
So she pulls out.
And as we get to the ramp to get out of the parking garage, she stops.
And I can see her looking at me in the rearview mirror.
I'm like, okay.
And she's not going.
and I can see her looking at me in the rear view mirror.
I'm like, okay.
And she's not going.
And I don't want to honk because I'm not going to be that guy.
I'm in no rush.
I'm like, whatever.
Take your time.
It's weird, but take your time.
And eventually she stops looking at me and then starts to drive away.
And then I'm behind her.
It's a one-way street, so I'm behind her.
And we get out to the main street.
We turn.
And now, you know, she kind of goes her way and I'm going my way.
But we're still headed in the same direction, right? Except it's like, you know, she's one lane over and I'm turning right.
And she's going to turn, I don't know, left or go straight or something.
Anyway, we get to the intersection of doom.
The famous intersection of doom.
Yep.
And I turn right.
And then I notice she's behind me.
She turns right.
I'm like, huh?
So, you know, I'm driving down the road, but I'm not going very fast again.
I'm not in a hurry.
And she's going, I don't know, it might be like a 40 and she's going like 45, 50 down the road.
So she passes me.
And, you know, I'm headed down the road still for a little bit.
And then I turn right.
Next thing I know, she's behind me again.
Exact same car.
Exact same woman.
I'm like, what the hell?
So now I'm driving down the road and she's following me.
I'm like, okay.
This is weird, but all right.
And then, you know, it probably means nothing.
Right.
Then I go down the street towards the office and the office street is
literally a no, there's no outlet at the end there.
You go down the street and if you go to the end, you hit like basically a
wall, it's a barricade and it blocks you from getting to another street.
And so I go down this, this road.
I know she's following me like interesting maybe she
works here does something so i you know use the clicker and open the thing to get into the office
and i turn into the office parking lot and i see her in my rear view mirror past me i'm like huh
i wonder where she's going because there's nothing down there.
There's nothing down there.
I pull in, park,
get out of my car,
start walking to the entrance,
and I see her drive
back the other way.
So she clearly hit
the dead end and started driving back the
way, except as she's driving back the other way,
she like slows down a little bit.
And then keeps driving.
All right.
And I almost went to walk outside
and look to see what was going on.
I almost like went out of the parking area.
Just like, hello?
I didn't know.
Yeah.
And I can't tell, again, if that was like a light stocking or if that woman was like, that is the hottest man I've ever seen.
And if only I had the courage to marry him.
That's all I'm saying.
It could have been either.
That's where I'm at in my life.
It could have been either.
So that was it.
That's where it is.
That's where she like went away.
Yeah.
And I have no answers. I have no nothing. That's where it is. That's where she like went away. Yeah. And I have no answers.
I have no nothing.
That's just the thing that happened.
And now I'm left with this unanswered question.
Was that the future Mrs. Cox or the person who killed me?
I'll never know.
I'll never know.
I would say it's probably the crazy one.
Probably.
But we both live in the same apartment.
So I don't know what her deal is.
I don't know if she's going to go on the internet and triangulate where my office and my apartment is and try to figure out who I am.
I don't know what the deal is.
But here's the thing.
She's pretty good looking.
I ain't going to lie.
So, you know, I'll take either, honestly.
She may be stalking me.
She may kill me. But God, I'll take either, honestly. She may be stalking me. She may kill me.
But God, I'm desperate.
Hell yeah.
That's all I'm saying.
She was cute.
I was like, all right.
Okay, lady.
Yeah, but the fact that this all, like, took a turn at the intersection of Doom tells me this is bad.
Right? Well, yeah. I mean, the intersection of doom tells me this is bad Right. Well, yeah, I mean the intersection of doom is always bad
Well anything ever has good through its associated its trouble
Yeah
Yeah
Anything that passes through its aura has been like tainted the worst part is I can't really give details because the minute I do
I've doxxed myself completely
Yeah, so this is what's on the corner and
it's really no i can't if i ever do that people know exactly where i live i'm like nah then that
stalker will find me even though she lives in my apartment never mind never mind yeah well i guess
i mean she would probably show up again right honestly i'm kind of hoping i see her i'm kind of hoping she shows up yeah
i mean it would make for great podcast material now we have a new she's oh my god she's the new
green cheetah yo you know what i always needed one i don't know what happened to that woman but
i feel like oh my god i was just thinking about this the other day not green cheetah but actual cheetah cheetah oh this is sad actually i don't know this is real
sad there used to be a woman when i uh be pre-pandemic there used to be a woman who was
i think i mentioned her on this podcast she was old like old old not you know not like uh like oh she's a spry 70 i'm talking like old old
and she would i see her every day because she would wear um a fake black wig huge poofy black Skin tight top of varying colors and then tight leopard print pants.
And every day she would be walking down the street.
But she was that kind of old where it looked like walking probably hurt.
Right.
You know what I mean?
And she was so thin that she had kind of like that bow leg thing going on.
I know what you mean, yeah.
Yeah, and so she would like, you know,
be walking down the street.
I'd see her all the time,
and she always looked like a character out of,
I don't know, like someone cosplaying a human.
It was crazy.
Yeah, it's like an uncanny valley.
Yes, yes.
It was very clear that everything about her
was kind of fake, right?
Like she was the first wave of plastic surgery.
Right, yeah.
And I would think about her all the time
because I'd always see her
and I haven't since COVID.
And I realized that the other day
while I was like out driving
and I was like,
man, I haven't seen that woman.
And now I'm really sad.
I was like, oh no.
I hope she's okay.
Maybe she just moved.
Maybe she moved upstate
to that farm with the dogs.
Or maybe she became a real cheetah right off into the wild.
It's possible.
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe.
All the cheetahs in my life.
All the cheetahs in my life disappear.
I like to think there's just various amounts of different colored ones. There's like the blue cheetah, the red cheetahs in my life disappear i like to think there's just various amounts of different colored
one there's like the blue cheetah the red cheetah it's just you happen to know the green cheetah for
a while right but there's probably it's like no it's a relative term no is a woman who would go
like and possibly stick gum in my car like really i really? I don't know the green cheetah.
She's literally casting spell.
Probably to keep everyone, the other cheetahs, like, alive.
Maybe to keep them younger.
They might be a thousand years old.
You're like, oh, she looks like she's 90.
But you know what?
She's like a thousand.
Maybe the white jeep lady is the white cheetah.
That's all I need.
That's it. They're all swarming
around you maybe you're some sort of power source right yeah they have to protect me this is like
one of the witch battles they're all like a dava cadaver around me they're fighting it's just like
the chosen one it's just like the witch battles. Just like the witch battles.
When you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous.
When you said it, you're like, oh yeah, it's just like the witch battles.
Like it was nothing.
What?
You know, the witch battles.
You know, the witch battles.
So anyway, you're probably getting stalked.
Yeah, it happens.
It happens.
It happens.
Oh, my God.
Speaking of stuff that happens, that's good.
It's good.
Yeah.
Today in the morning, the reason why I was a little bit late getting here to do this,
I went up into the
mountains to go hike. Yes,
it's a thing people do in LA. It's very
weird.
There's no mountain near me, so I had to
drive to a place to hike, which is already
crazy.
First time out.
Why?
Why?
I was invited and I can't say no. Okay. First time out. Yeah, yeah. Why? Why?
I was invited and I can't say no.
Okay.
That checks out.
That's it.
Normally, I'm not a hiker.
I'm going to let you know.
I don't hike.
Oh, yeah.
I was like, normally, I can't see being like, you know what?
Just want to go for a hike in the mountains today.
There's got to be something else going on.
It was never a thing I wanted to do.
I got suckered in because it's one of those. I promised people'd spend more time with them uh yeah you know like that yeah shame shame brought me to the mountains yep okay which i think happens to a lot of people shame brought
me to the mountains that in alaska shame yep uh and so i am we're up in the mountains. We're hiking around, literally just going up a mountain.
But it's LA, so everything's pathed.
There's paths everywhere.
And there's signs that say, like, watch out for wildcats.
It's like, okay, sure.
So we're walking up this mountain.
And for those who are curious, LA is surrounded by mountains.
LA is basically a valley surrounded by mountains, which is why the weather is always nice in LA because the mountains take the brunt of the weather.
Anyway, up in the mountains, hiking, gross and sweaty, realizing, boy, walking is just fine.
I don't know why I'm trying to get higher into the altitude.
But as we're going up, I hear like,
ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a Because it sounded just like, you know, if you ever go to a concert and the dudes are just jamming out. Right? Right.
But as we get to the top of this peak, there's four dudes sitting there with their instruments.
With no one around them, but places set up for chairs, which are literally just wood stumps.
And they're sitting there just jamming out.
And I couldn't tell if that was the coolest thing I've ever seen or the
craziest thing,
but whatever it was,
it was the most LA thing I've ever seen.
That is very LA.
Yeah.
These dudes lug their instruments up to the top of a mountain and then just
jammed out up there.
And I was like,
this is either so cool or goofy as hell.
Either way,
it was a surprise.
And they're just like jamming.
But it isn't a beautiful day.
There isn't sun.
It's like a cloudy kind of muggy day.
And so they're just muggy jamming.
It was weird.
And I couldn't tell.
I was like, should we stop?
Do they want a tip?
Are they just jamming because they like the idea of jamming on top of a mountain?
Is this a show?
I don't know what the rules are for mountain jam bands.
I don't know what the rules are.
Clearly no one else did because the consensus of the group was that we should ignore them.
That was even crazier.
The consensus of the group was that we should ignore them.
That was even crazier.
That we should just get to the top, maybe take a photo or two,
and then ignore the dudes.
I was like, how do you ignore them?
Don't interact with them.
If you see a weird person, don't interact with them.
You don't want to.
Yep.
I was like, maybe we should.
They're clearly putting on a show. I don't mind watching. They're like, no, maybe we should. They're clearly putting on a show.
I don't mind watching.
They're like, no, no, no.
We got to hike back down the mountain.
Like, oh, cool.
Cool.
Okay.
We could have taken a minute, but like, all right, let's go.
Isn't this supposed to be like a relaxing nature walk?
I mean, in theory, yes. In reality, it was, yo, let's take this path up these rocks instead of walk on the like
walkway i see yeah yeah yeah and because i don't know how to say no when there's a challenge
presented to me i'm like let's go so i'd lug my big ass up some boulders like yeah i'm 13 again. I can do this.
That's fine. This is like when we were in London and Alex and Davis were like, yo,
we want to try this new restaurant. I'm like, okay. And then we got lost for, I don't know,
way too long. The point where we walked 16 miles that day. And I was like, you know, we could just Google it. They're like, no, no, no, we'll find it. I'm like you know we could just google it they're like no no no we'll find it like okay
let's go let's keep going so yeah that happens that happens it was like you uh took a side quest
I seem to take many side quests
my whole life is a series of side quests honestly i don't know that i'll ever see the end
i don't know how you ever get there it's possible that that band was some form of green cheetah
magic as well really anything could be yeah i mean you're going up to the top of a mountain
and there's just like a band jamming out i mean it doesn't add up this i think is the weird thing i see stuff like that or you know i'm
at the park and there's two old men playing chess right right or i'm at the beach and there's like
a weird bonfire party happening and they're like yo come over come over i feel like i'm the only
person who wants to do that stuff like i want
to sit there and watch the jam band i want to sit there and look at those two old men playing chess
i want to go over to that weird bonfire like all these different things i feel like
everyone i hang out with is so busy doing their thing and then all right that's done moving on
to the next thing i have to do today and it's like, what if we took a moment and watch this jam band on top of them?
Wouldn't that be special and cool?
Nah, nah, like let's move on.
Okay, all right.
I feel like people keep missing
the cool stuff happening around them.
And because I'm like,
well, they're my ride,
so I can't just stay up here.
I'm like, all right, let's go.
It's like we said, are always the the people gotta observe
and ask the the detailed question it's like all those news stories they don't get to the bottom
of it they're just like this guy did a thing and it's like well why'd he do it we never know
i just want to understand people i feel like that's my calling in life is to understand
people better so that one day i can be like yo we're all messed up dude
that's my book we're all messed up dude and it's just my picture on the cover like pointing
i mean i mean i think you figured it out yeah
there's really nothing else you need to observe. Speaking of messed up people, I started watching the Chris Hansen thing.
What?
They had the Chris Hansen, what's it called?
To Catch a Predator.
To Catch a Predator, yeah.
Yeah.
Why?
Hold on, it just popped up in my YouTube thing.
And I was like, oh yeah, I forgot about this show.
Apparently they started it up again years ago.
Not like that long ago.
Did Chris Hansen get caught up in something?
He probably did.
He probably caught himself.
He just walks in and he walks out.
He's like, wait, you're Chris Hansen?
He's like, I'm Chris Hansen.
You want to see a little boy.
Yeah, it's always weird.
It's yeah.
And they're always just like, no, I didn't.
What do you mean?
No, no, no.
What?
Just thought we'd watch some football, you know, and then I'd leave.
So why did you want to meet this child?
They're like, yeah, it's always oh anyway please continue the weirdest
one i saw was this dude let's not have a weird one he's just the funniest so he was just like
yeah i came here because i wanted to to tell them to not meet like people online and they're like
so that guy probably thought he was the smartest he's like
got it i'm safe i'm the best out yeah it's just like yeah you know i just want to tell them to not
do what they did because then people like me show up like oh yeah you got it
yeah um so helpful so i watched like a couple of those and I was like, these people are crazy.
But, you know, after a few of them, you're like, all right, I get it.
I think it's funny that showed up on your YouTube feed.
I mean, I guess.
I mean, I watched it.
I was like, so YouTube must have known.
Look, I get it.
My YouTube feeds all diners, drivers and dives.
And I've watched every single one.
You're like three minute clips of him.
Like, yeah, so I'm going to eat this
hoagie made out of
15 cheeses
and 13 meats and I'm like
yeah hell yeah guy let's see.
And I'll watch it
and then I'll be like oh another one that's only three minutes
long I guess I'm going to watch this.
Before I know it I think I've
watched every single one.
What if I go to my YouTube home thing right now.
I don't want to know what mine is.
Yeah.
Animal Crossing Day Music Beach Ambience.
Age of Empires 2 OST.
Donkey Kong Country OST.
Treating Your Vegas Nerve.
Zelda Ambience Music.
Best of Mad Mel from Pat McAfee Show show uh stardew valley i didn't play
stardew valley mine is first time watching the thing 1982 reaction guy fiedis buka buka bukatini
carvanara uh some girl playing final fantasy shadow bringingers. A top 10 Star Trek deleted scenes you must see.
Hilarious.
Chrono Trigger battle theme metal cover.
The trailer for Flash 2.
No, wait.
The second trailer for Flash.
Oh.
Oh, Grandor.
What?
I got a shot at this.
Matt's RV reviews. Can i tell you right now i don't know
what i was on i don't know what happened but one night i was at home on my tv youtube right
because there's nothing on tv to watch and i suggested that i watch like small house thing
because i was on a small house kick for a while.
Not because I want to live in a small house, but because I enjoy watching people build them.
Yeah, no, I feel it.
Yeah, and I'm like, what the?
This is like the bed is next to the toilet.
Like, this is weird.
But whatever.
And I guess that triggered the algorithm to be like, yo, this guy might be into RVs.
But whatever.
And I guess that triggered the algorithm to be like, yo, this guy might be into RVs.
So I am, I guess, because I started watching too many RV reviews.
And it's this dude, Matt's RV reviews.
I think he lives in Florida. I think.
And it's like him.
And when you talk about meatballs, this is what I think a meatball looks like.
He is like a short dude.
He's like a little perfectly round.
And every time he starts a video, he does this little jump, which is very cute.
And then he just tells you about an RV that he's selling.
And I'm mesmerized by them because I'll let you know.
The concept is super cool.
I'm like, oh, look at this.
This is so neat.
But in reality, I'm like, I have to dump my own poo out.
You know, like it's not something I ever want to do.
It's like you're camping.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's not something I ever want to do.
But, you know, they'll show you a bus.
And inside the bus, it's this amazing, like, home.
And it's, like, multi-level.
I'm like, this is so interesting.
But I would never in a million years want to live in one.
Yeah.
But I love watching this guy do it. where every video at the beginning, he jumps.
When he talks about the engine, he always says this little tagline.
When he talks about the tires, when he talks about, like, when he goes to sit on a toilet,
he'll judge how much space he has, and he'll be like, this is a perfect pooping position.
It is.
It is amazing.
And I can't stress this enough if you want to go down the
rabbit hole of like a dude reviewing rvs then giving you a phone number at the end where you
can be like you want to buy this rv it's wild i've watched so many of them so i i went into my
youtube history because i was like how did it recommend me this okay i was curious and i've i've put it together
i've solved the mystery all right oh boy yes so the other day on youtube or on twitch i was
streaming and some we were talking about taxes and some guy was like did you hear about that
youtuber tried to write off his wedding and i was like what the shit no who was it and they're like
onision and i was like oh oh now i understand all right that makes sense so then I was like what
the shit is Onision doing now I thought he was like gone and then apparently there's this big
thing with like Onision and Chris Hansen like like going back and forth if you search Chris
Hansen Onision there's Chris Hansen exposing Onision uh Chris Hansen knocked on Onision. There's Chris Hansen exposing Onision. Chris Hansen knocked on
Onision's door and he called 911.
It was like all in 2020.
Remember how there was
a time period where being a YouTuber
also kind of equated to being
a total... I mean, it's still going on
clearly, but publicly
being a total mess. Like those videos
where it's like youtuber shows up
another youtuber's house with gun and you're like what yeah that's some crazy shit yeah yeah so i
was like yeah i can't believe this guy's still around i thought he was like long gone and so
i think then it started being like chris hayneson so i finally figured out so i was like how did i
get recommended those that's also like uh I watch one video about something totally random.
And then YouTube will be like, you know what?
You'll like.
I think a great example is one time someone sent me a link to.
Oh, who's that?
Jimmy Fallon.
You know, Jimmy Fallon does not make me laugh.
I don't know if he's a good or bad guy.
I do not like Jimmy Fallon either.
No.
Yeah.
Like Jimmy Fallon's whatever. I don't know if he's a good or bad guy. I do not like Jimmy Fallon either. Yeah, like, Jimmy Fallon's whatever.
I clicked the video, watched the thing.
It might have been that when they were showing off
NFTs.
And it was like, Parasol, and like,
this NFT is great. And I'm like, you don't even know what that is.
And
after doing that
for a week, all my video
recommendations were like, do you want more Jimmy Fallon?
I was like, no!
Specifically, no! Specifically, no!
So.
That is.
I mean, yeah.
Jimmy Fallon just always is another person that weirds me out.
He's another weird, he's like the Uncanny Valley comedian.
He's always like, here we are, it's me, Jimmy Fallon.
It's like, this dude freaks me out.
I think he tries to be
liked by everybody like that's the vibe i get yeah where he tries to make his comedy likable by
everyone and it's just it's just not it's just not you're always gonna have people that don't
like you like that's that's life you know like even i remember just the other day I typed in.
I was trying to search for my like old post somewhere and they brought up an MMO champion thread.
And they're like from 2015.
They're like, who's your favorite content creators for WoW?
And they're just like, I like Crandor.
I like these people.
They're like saying TB when he made WoW videos.
They said you and you made WoW wow videos there's like other people there and then there's always like a couple where they would just be
like god that crendor's voice is annoying or like god that guy is dumb one guy was just like god
a crendor is just so annoying but he made that lucky do rap that was pretty good yeah you're
just gonna find people that don't like you because they don't like you and that's like fine
but there's no re like be yourself that yeah jimmy fallon the thing find people that don't like you because they don't like you. And that's fine. But be yourself.
Jimmy Fallon, the thing I think people don't like about him is he just tries so hard to be likable by everybody.
He doesn't seem sincere.
I think I was like, who watches?
I'm going to say Mormons.
Do you think Mormons watch?
Mormons in the audience.
Is there a huge Mormon?
Is Utah like? It feels like a very sanitized bit of comedy.
And I feel like if anyone appreciated to be the Mormons.
I actually agree with you.
I think the Mormons would enjoy Jimmy Fallon.
I think so.
If you're a Mormon out there, is Jimmy Fallon big in the Mormon community?
Let me know.
Who's that other guy?
Isn't there the one it's like retiring uh the
what's his name retiring uh james oh the one everyone hates uh the other guy james something
james corden yeah that guy sucks ass that guy's a piece of shit yeah i guess i know he's just
he's not even just like the goofy friendly guy on the Mormon television.
But he's just like a guy nobody likes.
He's a guy who had a few things early in his late night.
He did comedy stuff.
And apparently all the TV shows and whatever he was doing before that, he was an asshole then.
Everyone just knew him as an asshole.
And then so he came to America to work.
And he got this show and everything was great and he did his like car karaoke thing which literally
was just copying a thing that one of my friends did on youtube but no comment and he started doing
that and people were like oh that's funny and i guess that's how he became kind of famous because
it was unique and different yeah but still a piece of shit i guess still everyone kind of hates him and uh at least every time i go to the uk people are like
that guy what a wanker i'm like okay all right
it's yeah god i just i think the only late night person I ever liked was probably Conan. Conan was great.
But really, that's like he's probably the only one that I actually watched.
I think as well.
I never really watched any of the other ones that much.
Conan.
I watched Conan, but only when Conan did the show after the tonight show.
Oh, yeah.
When it was like on it when I was.
Yeah.
When it was on it like midnight that show
i used to watch all the time because he could like get away with stuff and when he started
doing stuff around 11 it was some of his videos still to this day are funny like the if you want
to look up a great video go find the two videos of him kevin hart and uh ice cube driving around LA getting high and like it is
hilarious Conan's great
yeah he had a
some old one like one where he went to go play baseball
like camping
like they just went out and like
did a bunch of wacky stuff yeah
Conan I think had a lot of fun
plus like Conan I think was the first
one to put all his stuff on YouTube
yeah because he was smart.
I mean, he had to.
Because Conan, after they booted him from NBC, I guess he left.
Because they were like, yeah, I guess that's how he promoted himself, I guess.
Yeah.
Which is smart.
The man was on to something.
Yeah.
Either way.
Yeah.
Either way.
That's why the green cheetah lives.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
Nailed it.
Well, you know what else the green cheetah likes?
What?
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That's right.
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All right, let's go to chapter seven.
Whoa, what did I say?
The corner of the sky, seven, go.
Uh, yeah, here we are.
We're up in the sky i think i don't know what just happened but uh it's looking pretty all right you know uh some traffic everywhere uh the 808s backed up quite a
bit so watch out on that one but the the 645 looks like that one's pretty open so i'd suggest taking that route uh but either way watch out for that traffic
thank you thanks crendor now let's go over to the weather
weather uh today we have a weather request for dildo canada well of course we do
uh i say someone who grew up on the east coast of Canada.
I need to hear what happens when Jesse and Crendor look at the small town of Dildo in Newfoundland and Labrador.
I love that Newfoundland.
Yep.
I love that Dildo has a giant Hollywood sign that just says Dildo.
I'm here for it.
That's pretty great.
That is, in fact, most of the photos are of.
Although there is the very first article is there's no place like dildo.
That's true.
That is technically true.
It's currently 45 degrees Fahrenheit and sunny over in dildo.
We got 39 degrees is what it feels like because of the 14 mile an hour winds,
53% humidity, 30.13 inches of pressure
visibility 10 miles uv index one of 10 a dew point of 29 and a moon phase of waxing gibbous
uh checking out the 10 day forecast we have 46 degrees fahrenheit partly cloudy on monday
tuesday 45 cloudy wed, 44 with showers.
Thursday, 45 with light rain.
Friday, 43 with showers.
Saturday, we got some 44 with rain-snow mix.
And Sunday, we got some rain-snow mix as well with 45. And then Monday, 48.
Partly cloudy.
Question to our dildo audience.
Yeah.
I'm looking at this place, this island here,
and I can't tell,
is this where the last season
of Peaky Blinders was?
I feel like it was in this part
of Canada, I think.
Maybe it was Prince Edward Island.
I'm not sure.
I'm very curious.
Just put it out there
to anyone who knows
because I can't tell, but this whole area of Newfoundland looks like...
Yeah, anyway, Dildo is about six roads total.
There's the little Dildo Inn, which is hilarious.
There's several cemeteries, which I think is also hilarious.
It's a small town, but okay.
Oh, we've got Nan and Pops.
You see that one?
Yes.
Nan and Pops dildo souvenir shop.
What goes on there?
The dildo souvenir shop. The crazy thing is
it looks like
everything's painted very bright and it looks
like there's about six houses total.
This is incredibly
interesting. I guess
it's supposed to be like a small fishing village
vibe.
It does look very small fish
fishing village e yeah there's like
country stores so that's how you know
yeah yeah dildo coffee and crafts
pictures take out looks I was like oh a
takeout place get some no it's just like
an actual chips and stuff.
There's a pastry, but when I click on the pastry, it just shows rocks.
That's a thing?
I mean, maybe that's what they eat there.
But there's... Our most delicious pastries.
But the best part is the Dildo Brewing Company.
I'm kind of here for the Dildo Brewing Co.
Yeah.
Let's see what they got. Part of me wants to like... Maybe I want a shirt that says Dildo brewing co yeah yeah let's see what they got part of me wants to like
i don't know maybe i want a shirt that says dildo brewing company
yeah they got uh they got they got the beer flight and it's got grape root ipa and dildo
and dildo i don't know i like that they They got the dildo lager.
There it is.
I'm not going to lie.
I kind of dig the crandemic sour cranberry goose dildo juice. I kind of dig it.
I like a sour beer.
Yeah.
I'd try that.
Uncle John's lager lager uncle john's lager lager sour goose
sour wheat beer is 50 wheat steeped coriander and sea salt i don't know i want sea salt beer
yeah i don't know about that but but cranberry i'll do a cranberry beer or normal lager
But cranberry, I'll do a cranberry beer or a normal lager.
Yeah.
That's a pretty good place.
Yeah.
I'm liking this.
All right.
And the crazy thing is, is looking at the video footage of the brewery,
it looks like it's packed.
There's a lot of people there drinking, having a good time.
It is Canada, so drinking's part of it.
Yeah. But when you look around the area,
it just kind of looks like this beautiful in the middle of nowhere everything
is like it doesn't look like there's a lot of people in fact the video footage it looks like
some areas of pittsburgh like yeah washington township it looks like outside of pittsburgh
kind of vibes i mean this is when you zoom out this is about as east as you can go in North America. Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It really is.
Yeah.
It's like only a couple places.
Like St. John's is the only other more east place.
I kind of dig it.
I don't know that I could spend more than a week there.
I'd probably go stir crazy.
But I kind of dig it.
I agree.
It's pretty cool.
Look at that.
Look at that. Look at that.
Look at that.
That's the weather.
All right.
Let's go to sports.
Sports.
Lot of sports happening right now.
NBA playoffs are in round two, except for the Kings Warriors,
who are playing right now in game seven.
Kings currently up two points in the second quarter.
Miami takes a 1-0 lead over the Knicks in the second round.
And the Suns lost to the Nuggets last night in their first game of the second round.
Over in hockey, we got the Seattle Kraken and the Colorado Avalanche playing a Game 7 tonight.
And Florida and Boston also playing a Game 7.
Which is pretty crazy because Boston had one of the best normal seasons all year.
They only lost 12 games, but they've already lost three here.
They could lose again and be out.
Oh, oh, oh.
Maple Leafs took down the Lightning.
The Carolina Hurricane took down the Islanders.
The Devils and the Rangers are also in a Game 7.
Wow, we have a lot of Game 7s out there.
And then
the
Dallas Stars take down the
Minnesota Wild and the Vegas Golden
Knights take down the Winnipeg
Jets and the Golden Knights will play
against the Edmonton Oilers who took down
the Los Angeles Kings.
People still freaked out about the Maple Leafs.
That's the big one.
Yeah, they actually won a playoff series for the first time in like 8,000 years.
Yeah.
Over in baseball, Tampa Bay Rays, 23-5.
They're looking pretty good.
Minnesota Twins, first place in the Central.
Rangers, first place in the West.
The Atlanta Braves, first place in the Central. Rangers first place in the West. The Atlanta Braves first place in the NL East.
The Pittsburgh Pirates first place in the Central.
That's a crazy one.
How did we get here?
And the Arizona Diamondbacks first place in the NL West.
So some crazy baseball as well,
even though we still do have a lot of baseball games.
And that is
sports.
Okay, what's our
fact of the day?
Fact of the day.
Here we are.
Here we are.
The longest book
title contains
1,809 words.
Wait, book title?
Like, how do they fit it on the cover?
I don't know.
The title of Srijan Timulsina's 2014 Guinness World Records setting book
is practically full text in itself, including 1,809 words, or 11,284 characters.
It begins, right freshwater worm marine worm tube effects leech etc arthropoda housefly butterfly honeybee
fairy shrimp horseshoe crab tick blue bottle frog hopper yellow crazy ant dot dot dot dot
and continues to list pretty much every insect fish and mammal you can think of including humans
it then goes on to ask questions like what what did they find and what did they eat?
How did they defend from their enemies and attack them?
Which is the oldest stone ever discovered?
Which ancestor of human being first started to walk with the help of two limbs? It finally ends with, solutions of above inquisitiveness are included in this book,
which you think would go without saying, but perhaps not if you want your title to set a record.
What the hell?
Yeah, what the shit?
That's like...
How's that even allowed?
I guess there are no rules when it comes to making a book.
I guess you can do whatever you want.
Doesn't mean it's good, but I guess you can do it.
Yeah, it's dumb, though.
Yeah, no, I agree.
I thought it was going to, you know,
it's like some crazy
science book or whatever there's listed.
I thought it was going to be like The Great War
of the Many Generations.
Like some fantasy novel
that's got like 8,000
words in it.
The Great War of the Many Generations.
Listen, if it's just some generic fantasy book,
you've got to fit as many words in there as possible.
It was the Great War of Many Generations.
So there you go.
That's the longest book title.
All right.
Well, what is our big story of the day?
Big news story of the day.
Day.
German court rules that a naked landlord does not justify lower rent.
What?
Yep.
Berlin AP. not justify lower rent what yep uh berlin ap a german court said wednesday that a landlord sunbathing naked in the courtyard of his building wasn't a reason for his tenants to reduce their
rental payments the case involved a building in an upmarket residential district of frankfurt
which included an office floor rented by a human
resources company. The company withheld rent because it objected, among other things,
to the landlord's naked sunbathing. In response, the landlord sued. The Frankfurt State Court
rejected the company's reasoning, finding that, quote, the usability of the rented property was
not impaired by the plaintiff sunning himself naked in the courtyard.
It said in a statement that it couldn't see an, quote, inadmissible, deliberately improper effect
on the property. Judges were ruling on an appeal against a lower court decision that went in the
landlord's favor, and the tenants had only limited success overall. They found that the tenant had
been entitled to reduce rental payments for three months
only because of noisy construction work in the neighborhood.
The court said that the spot where the landlord sunbathed
could only be seen from the rented office by leaning far out the window.
It also said the tenant failed to prove that he took the stairs to the courtyard unclothed.
Quote,
the courtyard unclothed.
Quote, on the contrary, the plaintiff stated credibly that he always wore a bathrobe,
which he only took off just before the sun lounging, he said.
I kind of love this.
I kind of like the fact that this dude was like,
let me flash my balls to the world.
I'm not showing it to anyone in particular, just the sun.
I'm laying there.
I'm in an area where you're not supposed to see.
So if you're seeing me, that's your problem mine yeah i kind of like it i kind of wish i had the guts yeah they had to go out of their way to see them so obviously they're you know it's not
like they're sitting there working like huh naked man again i do i i mean i guess either
the the the landlord is secretly definitely just walking around naked, which I don't know.
I feel like more people would be upset about that.
Right.
And I guess he proved that he wasn't, at least in court.
But I also kind of feel like, you know, there's some – you always have that one neighbor who's a little snoopy.
And I feel like somewhere someone caught a bit of his butt
cheek and they were like, oh,
you know, did you see?
I'm gonna go Snoop.
And they were like, he's naked.
How can I use this to my advantage?
Like, okay. Yeah, it's always the
neighborhood patrol.
Yeah, there's always someone ruining things
for everyone. Yep, and they always have a
they always walk their dog to make it look like they're not crazy.
The thing is, if you were in your backyard, bare-ass naked, that I think would be different.
Because there is no separation.
Literally, they're saying that he did it in a place where only from the main office where he's at could it be seen.
Yeah. So it clearly went out of his way
to make sure people didn't see him and he's still trying to yeah i kind of agree with the courts on
this one yeah it's not like he's just in his like chain link fenced yard in like a busy neighborhood
where everyone can see him just laying there naked or something yeah at first i thought this
was one of those things where you know how in the middle of some apartment complexes is a courtyard
oh yeah maybe a pool i thought he was like of those things where, you know how in the middle of some apartment complex there's a courtyard? Oh, yeah.
Maybe a pool.
I thought he was like down there in the courtyard where every window can see him just naked.
No, he's just naked in a private area.
Yeah.
Where did this take place at?
It was Germany.
Germany?
What's going on?
Yeah.
I thought the Germans were like sexually liberated people.
Maybe they're just like fake sex lib.
You know what I mean?
I mean, everybody agreed that he was all right.
There's only one person complaining.
That's the person.
They're the minority.
Yeah, that checks out.
It's a very American sounding story.
Although, to be real, most Americans wouldn't have the courage to be naked anywhere in public. That's true.
That's one thing we are afraid of.
It's like, oh, skin!
They would sue.
100% though. Yeah, that's true.
That's very true.
It's like that time in England. They kept showing that
show with naked people.
Yeah, yeah.
That's one of those things, like, every time I'm overseas,
yeah, nudity, boobies, whatever, totally fine.
Showing, like, blood, not cool.
Which I feel like kind of should be the way it is.
America's like, dude's head got blown off, but if you show his naked body, that's bad news.
Like, okay.
And you better not use a bad swear word on television.'s a big no-no that's a huge no-no
although the rules are you can use certain swears which is even more crazy yeah certain swears are
okay but certain ones are not like how do they determine it there's like now that's a real bad
swear that's where it's when it's okay it's one of those like we're trying to protect our kids
like yo the kids are already messed up.
They're fine.
They don't need to be protected.
The kids grew up with the people trying to protect them on the television not saying those words.
Everybody says it anyway.
Exactly.
Exactly.
It's a failed experiment.
You grow up, you hit a point where you're just like, God, shit ass.
You know, It just happens.
Honestly, I think people just do it so they don't have to deal with people.
You know what I mean?
Like, one of those.
It's like how I would clean my room so I wouldn't have to deal with my mom being like, clean your room.
So I just do it so I won't have to listen to it.
I feel like it's the same thing where they're like, look, we could say shit in this episode.
But if we remove it, we won't have to deal with the crazy parents
who call us and say we ruined their child.
Yeah.
I feel like that's what it is.
Yeah, I think so.
So there you go.
That's your news story of the day.
Lovely.
All right.
Well, that's it for us.
Thanks so much for listening and watching.
I hope you enjoyed this podcast.
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And as always,
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