Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 392 - Jesse's Strange Trip

Episode Date: July 10, 2023

This week the boys are back, but Jesse is broadcasting from 1999. Sorry for the poor microphone quality - but hey, you get to hear of his cool trip overseas. And by cool I mean filled with nonsense and people watching. Meanwhile Crendor is obsessed with eating competitions. All this and more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://butcherbox.com/COX and use code COX to get New York Strips for a year and $20 off your first order.

Today's episode is brought to you by ButcherBox. ButcherBox is gonna get you them good meats. Now let's jump into this podcast! Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog! This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studio audience.

Recording! Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of Cacks and Crandall in the... I'm out of town. In the bad microphone. In the... It's still the morning though, right? It's the evening here. Well, here it's like 6pm. What time is it over there?

It is midnight right now. Yes. I see. Where are you again? Merry old London, England. I just got back from Belgium where I went and watched a bear have sex with a vampire.

It was great. Okay, good. I'm not going to exp have sex with a vampire. It was great. Okay, good. I'm not going to expound upon that at all. Go to social media if you want to know more. I'm not going to even explain it. And yeah, now I'm here, and I'm going to be working on video game things of a secret nature for a week,

and then I'll be back and next week I won't sound like this and everything will be fine. I tried to set up my microphone. I don't know what happened. It wouldn't work. Yeah, no, I don't know. It was, uh, you're like, yeah, let's record like an hour and 15 minutes ago. I was like, alright, I was just

editing and then you took like 20 minutes and I was like, you know what? i'm gonna get food this guy's taking forever so i got some food i ate it still wasn't good then i was starting started making coffee and then you're like all right i give up i'm just gonna do this so i was like all right sounds good to me yes i went with the most basic bitch 1999 microphone setup where i'm just using my webcam to talk and And so you'll be fine. It'll be all right.

Yeah, I brought my normal setup and everything was good to go. And I had my computer over on this table with the microphone like plugged in. Everything was good. And when I went to go record, it was like all static. I have no idea what I did wrong. I don't know if I messed up a cable while traveling i have no clue so here we are and if you could see me right now yeah i am laying on my bed like some sort of french whore like

leaning kind of half over the nightstand next to it where my laptop is because I moved everything over and I'm like, you know, just kind of laying here like, oh, Monsieur Crandall. You're not even in France. I have so much news for you. You're not even in France. Yeah, but like, you know,

you don't want one of them English whores who's like, Al Crandallanto that's not how english was very very true um well you got some wacky uh wacky tales then of traveling i do oh boy do i ever first off once again everywhere else in the world is just so much better when it comes to simply being walkable and being able to see stuff and do stuff when i was in ghent they have entire areas of the city that are no car zones people just out in the street walking people just drinking in the street good old times i was like was like, man, we messed up America.

We, our big cities messed up. I was thinking about what if New York had no car zones? That would be pretty cool. Honestly, I'd like that. It would be very cool. Yeah. So I don't know that sucked, but, uh, yeah, I wrote down some stories that are actually good, good stories.

All right. Because I realized that, well, I could tell you about the event I went to and hanging out with Dodger. It was fun to see Dodger. I could tell you all that stuff. Yeah. But instead, I'm going to tell you about our train ride. Perfect. I mean, listen, you already know I care more about the train ride than all the other stuff. Well, of course you do, which is why I wrote notes about it.

Yep. So today we were going to get on our train. Dodger was like, hey, I might have booked us to leave at 8 a.m. And so last night we were out at this party and I was drinking a lot. She's like, oh, by the way, we have to leave at 8. And for some reason we were both booked at different hotels. So my hotel was about a 10 minute walk from hers. So I had to get up an hour early to take a shower, do all that stuff, and then walk over to her place to wait for her. Then we'd

get on a tram, which by the way, again, we got on a tram that cost a dollar, took us to the train station. We got on the train. The train was cheap as hell, and that took us to Brussels. The whole process, I was like, I wouldn't even need a car if I lived here. Anyway, we get to Brussels. When did you go to bed? Like 11.

I was sensible. Oh, okay. I thought you were saying you had to go by like 2 a.m., wake up at 8 or something. No, no, no, no, okay. I thought you were saying you had to go by like us at least 30 minutes to get to the train station. And then once we're there, then we got to find the train and board the train. So, you know, but no, it took maybe six minutes to get to the train station because the train just took us right there. And then we just, yeah, it was easy. It was super easy to get that little small train over to Brussels. But anyway, we get to Brussels and Dodger and I are like, oh, coffee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That looks great. Let's brussels but anyway we get to brussels and dodger

and i are like oh coffee yeah yeah yeah that looks great let's get some coffee so we get some coffee little did we know our train departure from brussels to london i took the channel crendor i've never taken the channel before and i'm gonna let you know right now i don't even know what a channel is i just laugh because it sounds funny so you know that if you take a train between england and mainland europe there is like you have to go through the english channel right and so you have to go underground underwater oh i see and so the channel is that underground channel tunnel i don't know if the british call it the shuttle but i love the shuttle it's a great word uh so the best way to describe it is when we were headed to Brussels from London, I was like, Oh yeah, I can't wait. This is gonna be so much fun. We, uh, zip away like almost 300 miles an

hour on this damn train. And I guess we exited England so fast. I didn't know because when we hit the channel, I thought we were just going through like a few tunnels, like one tunnel, then another tunnel. And I didn't realize, Oh, I thought we were still in England when we made our first stop in France. And I looked around and was like,

wait, these aren't English words. Like what the hell? That's how fast this thing was going. It was crazy. Hey, that's crazy. Yeah. It was pretty impressive. pretty impressive i was like wait a minute we made it there already so but yeah the tunnel if anyone's wondering what it's like underwater it's like just going through a dark tunnel and your ears pop and that's it oh it really isn't that impressive yeah it's not that

cool no it's not like the wow one where you're like seeing like crazy shit like sea lions swimming by not like that at all no it is it is dark and you're on a train with like a hundred other people in your car and everyone's speaking like 50 different languages and you can't focus on anything and uh yeah and then you're in a dark tunnel for i'm gonna say maybe a total of three minutes. It's not that long. You zip through. Yeah, it's crazy.

And then I guess they don't want you under there a long time. I don't know. I don't know what the rules are. So on the way back, we got some coffee. And our train, it was supposed to be on track three. But we were like, wait a minute. Track one and two are the international trains. So does that mean we don't have to go through all the security stuff?

We looked around. We couldn't figure out what was going on. We saw the exit to our train platform. We're like, okay, let's get some coffee. Got some coffee. Walked over to our train platform. We're like, okay, let's get some coffee. Got some coffee, walked over to the train platform and they're like, sorry, you're not allowed on this train. We're like, what do you mean? They're like,

the train's already leaving. And there was maybe 30 minutes left. We're like, wait, what? What are you talking about? They wouldn't allow us on the train. So... That's crazy. I know. And then Dodger and I had to go to the customer service in in brussels where imagine uh me her and then 150 other people of various nationalities all speaking

various languages trying to talk to customer support who also spoke various languages and but there were only two customer support people available at the time dodgers like i i need to get home with my kid and i'm like i don't know what to tell you right now i don't know what's going on and uh we looked online to see if there are any more trains and it said zero trains uh were available leaving the rest of the day and i was like that can't that can't be true that can't be true so we were waiting there and after waiting for what seemed like an eternity i finally just googled you know how there's like um if you're looking for a plane you would go to like expedia or one of those other sites right all right and in my

mind i'm like well if you think about tickets for a concert, concert venues will often have a certain number of tickets you can buy directly from them, but then tickets they sell to other people to then sell. I was like, well, surely there has to be some site called like Eurotickets.com. Yeah. And so I'm on my phone and my phone,

because the internet is just the worst when you're on your phone overseas because i guess verizon shouts verizon for being crap is like hey you can have in brussels two gigabytes of download however if you go over that we cut you down to 3g connection i hit my two my two gigabytes at 6 a.m while taking a shower watching a podcast on my phone so and i was like well i don't it doesn't matter i don't need to worry so little did i know so i'm sitting there on my phone straight up the slowest i've ever been on a phone and i'm gonna say since whenever 3g was originally a thing yep and pages are taking forever to load i'm just sitting there like oh my god but i was right and it turns out there

were other websites that had tickets and so we managed to get a ticket and everything was fine. However, now we actually go to the right terminal. And I'll be honest, I don't know what the difference was between the train we missed and the train that we got on. Because the train we got on, we had to go through four levels of security. We had to go through passport checks. The other train had none of that. And I don't know if we were just booked on the wrong train. I have no idea. But, yeah, it was a weird experience.

And then that brings us to the stories, the actual real story. Oh, boy. That was the lead up. Yes, that's the lead up. So in line for security, I want you to imagine this because I think it's the perfect example of this all right have you ever seen a weird kooky british woman with curly hair and a dress from like the 1950s and she has glasses and like that kind of accent i can can imagine that. Yes, I think everyone can. And then her husband, who's in a wrinkled short-sleeved button-up shirt

that the buttons aren't exactly buttoned correctly, with like really crazy white hair, and he too has glasses, they were in front of us a lot. And he's gotta be like, Yes, exactly. She was very loud and said like weird, kooky mannerism things, and to be like, oh, this is it. Yes, exactly. She was very loud and said like weird kooky mannerism things.

And he was like, I don't want to. So they're drinking a coffee and a tea. He's holding a coffee. She's holding a tea. But they have two bags. And they can't. In my mind, I would say one holds a coffee one holds a bag one holds a tea one holds a bag no no no they keep switching back and forth where now she has the coffee and the tea

and he has the two bags except he keeps trying to pull the two bags with one hand rather than use both hands so they're holding up the line and there's maybe 12 people's worth of room in front of where they are at any given time. And the people in front of them and behind us are, you know, the British girls who always wear way too much makeup. I don't know what, like you would call that type of person,

but their face looks super painted on. Yeah. They're behind us. And they're like, well, this Roy, who are they? It's taking their time, I'm just like, we're stuck in between

these kooky goofballs and then these women behind us who are just very angry. And the kooky people in front of us, every time anyone did anything around them, they'd be like, that's one for the book club. I can

picture that 100%. They're like, that's one for the book club. And then the husband would just go, I couldn't understand a word he said. He kept like whisper speaking the entire time and she would just be like, tea

or coffee? And they she'd like pour it into his mouth from the cup i'm like give the man the cup you want the bag feed me like a bird feed me like a bird yes all right all right open up open up and it just couldn't help but laugh because it reminded me of every single time on media in any type of media you see the kooky british woman and her kooky husband and i was like these are them they're real people and they're in front of us right now and the entire time he would have refused to take one bag in each hand so he was rolling to like imagine trying to roll two roller bags with one hand stacked on top of each other that is pretty insane it made no sense the man was he could have held one of the cups too but instead it's the

dumbest thing i've ever seen and of course the girls behind us are like this is ridiculous we're trying to get to a wedding and i was like oh my god okay cool what happened to them did they well luckily when we got to there was sort of like a split and where you would go to check your luggage and so all right brooke like a genius was like like zipped around these this couple and because line one for example was huge because this couple was holding up and line two had no one in it so we just went to line two yeah what happened i have no clue i couldn't tell you damn honestly she ruined it she should have stayed in the line we would have found out we did have a train to catch we already missed the one i don't think

we cared at that point that's true yeah although then we would have even more stories i mean really this is all dodgers fault well don't worry because uh next up while we're waiting for the train i have to go to the bathroom right all right i'm like all right i you know what i'm gonna go so i don't have to go on the train i don't even know where the bathroom is on the train so i'm just gonna go and while i'm in the bathroom i open the door and it is not like a public restroom situation, right? Where there's multiple toilets. It's one toilet, one, you know, sort of washroom kind of area with a sink and whatever. And then a lock on the door.

Except the lock on the door does not work. And now I'm thinking jesse oh no you're gonna have to find a way to like go to the bathroom without people just walking in constantly yeah and so i'm sitting there squat over his damn toilet with one leg extended to the door to block it. So people can't walk in. And the entire time I'm sitting there trying to like go number two, people keep trying to open the door and they keep hitting my foot. And they're like, Oh,

put on, put on. And I'm like, yeah, someone's in here. So finally, you know, I'm done.

I get up, go to wash my hands. As I'm washing my hands, a man opens the door and goes, pardon, and walks in and just drops trowel and starts to take a dump as I'm sitting there washing my hands, dude. That man is probably the guy from last week that was stuck in the elevator. He just finally found a bathroom. I couldn't believe. He's been believe this whole time it's like that guy must really have had to go because he had no shame he looked at me

right in the eyes and was like and then went to the i'm sitting there washing my hands like uh that man did not care he had to go yeah he had to go and i couldn't do anything about it i i even said sorry like one of those like sorry someone's in here i said sorry and he goes at least he you know friendly about it yeah he did not i mean care and here's the thing he didn't do the midwest didn't go oh yeah you you had to do that you're like oh i did not i mean care and here's the thing he didn't do the midwest didn't go yeah you you had to do that you're like oh i did that i did that one time when a guy really tried to forcefully open the door and i go i'm like sorry and he's like oh i go oh and then he left this dude was like if you're not taking a dump i need that toilet. Okay, dude.

At least he made his day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so that happened. And then the, I'm going to say the icing on the cake was while we're on the train, they were serving a meal. I could not understand what the attendant, the train, I don't know what the attendant the train I don't know what you call the train flight attendants I don't know what you call them train flight attendants like

train aisle managers will say I don't know she's walking down the aisle with her cart of various foods you know it's like anything you would get on a plane kind of stuff it's essentially just's like anything you would get on a plane kind of stuff. Right. It's essentially just the, what do you call them on a plane?

No, I can't remember. The stewardess, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like whatever it would be on a train. Yeah. Yeah. And she's speaking because they have to speak, I believe, both German, French, and English.

She's speaking to various different people and different languages, but no one in our car is English except for Brooke. And I, I'm trying to make out what she's saying. And the entire time I could hear her say that one of the options is a salad. One of the options is chicken. And one of the options is,

and she kept repeating this over and over again. And I even made Brooke stop and listen. She would say, hot dog and cucko listen. She would say, Hot dog and cuckoos. And I was like, sorry, is one of the options a hot dog with couscous? I was like, wait, what?

And I was like, Brooke, you gotta, Brooke, pull off your headphones, you gotta listen to this. And, you know, she's talking, she's talking, she's like the chicken, uh, salad with Thai basil and the hot dog. I was like,

no, she's not. There is not a hot dog with couscous on this, on this train. And so as she got closer, I, I kept being like, listen,

just listen to her repeat what's on this this train just listen and again she'd be like chicken uh salad and hot dog couscous i was like dude no there's no way it's a hot dog with couscous. And so finally she gets to us and now she switches up to English. She's like, today we have a salad with a Thai basil dressing and a chicken dish and a haddock with couscous. I was like, I'm so sick of it. Yeah, that does make more sense. Way more sense. And I was like, oh, okay. But the entire time I was like, oh, so it's fish. Yeah, that does make more sense. Way more sense. And I was like, oh, okay.

But the entire time, I was like, wait a minute. So in other languages, haddock was hot dog. I'm like, are you kidding me? It's got to be. Which language was it? Probably French? Mostly, like I was saying, French and German. Okay.

Yeah. I see. I feel like German people are like, Hadouken. Hadouken? German's a little more street fighter. Hadouken. Hadouken with couscous. Yeah.

See, I mean, listen. I'm half German. I took German in those language apps. I kind of know. I took German in like 7th, 8th? I kinda know. I took German in like 7th, 8th grade. That's when we learned Hadouken. Yeah, everyone knows about Hadouken. Yeah. One of the best fish

you can eat. A lot of Omega-3s. Yeah. What did you get? I got the salad. It was delicious and everything was fine. Yeah. The best part was the woman was like can i interest you in some uh wine or champagne and dodd dodger was like i'll have the wine she the woman looks at her and goes are you sure you don't mean champagne

we were both like i guess and she's like let me give you a sip and so she poured dodger like a little tiny bit of champagne dodger tried it was like oh it's good she goes oh of course this woman is 100 french i mean yeah listen if i was there you already know i've been like what wine is this uh we talk Are we talking like actual champagne? Are we talking sparkling wine? Is this like an actual regional champagne? Also, which winery? Oh, I guarantee she would have been like,

I've actually had Billicard's Salmon. I only drink Billicard's Salmon. So if it's not, please get it out of here. She would just start talking to you in french expecting you to know and i would go we we and then i would just keep keep saying we weeks that's all i can say oh i told speaking of wine uh i went to uh that party that i went to the night before was in a like an old monastery it the name of it i don't remember what it was called but it literally sounded like a final fantasy last level it was called like monastery on memorial i was like oh yeah this is the place where the final boss is but uh we're at this monastery and they're trying to like a medieval feast thing but they have

all these different beers by the way shout out to sour cherry beer in belgium i drank it every day i was there maybe too much loved it oh my god it just tastes like sour cherries and yeah oh it's like barely beer it's so good um and then they had wines and you know various things like that but one of the funniest things was is because a lot of the um female streamers who were there like a lot of the ladies who showed up who were streamers who were at this event they all dressed up in cosplay like various forms of uh like sexy queen or sexy elf or like sexy i don't know guild master you, like that kind of thing, right? Yeah. By the way, appreciated all of it. But the funniest thing was, while we were at this monastery,

the servers who were there were all dressed up like peasants. And I kept laughing about the fact these peasants are walking around with bottles of wine, pouring it into like chalices for all of these people dressed up as like royalty and i was like this is how revolution started like watching this it's like medieval times it was straight up a tableau of just like oh no i get it now i get like all these like these young girls dressed as straight up surfs dude pouring into like the goblets of all these streamers who are

dressed in like golden armors and outfits like low-cut sexy white dresses and I'm like yeah no this is this is how she would go down it does I mean it does make sense yeah yeah maybe laugh real hard I was like yeah no I absolutely the disparity happening here right now in the year 2023 is hilarious peasant bring me my wine that's i swear to you that's what it was they would walk around and be like would you like

some more wine my lord and i was like no i'm all right and then the girls that are all into it they'd be like why yes i would love another pitcher and i'm like yo no this is this is how revolution occurred this is you guys will be overthrown tonight 100 yeah no that is yeah that's you gotta you gotta make friends it was like at medieval times we made a friend with our server guy yeah i mean you gotta you gotta yeah you gotta make friends with the people because when the revolution happens i'm not getting my head cut off yeah was uh was it like how many streamers and like youtube was it like a lot it was i would say maybe 30 but from around the world oh i see the only people that were from america were like seven of us maybe everyone else was either from germany or the uk

or like you know other parts of the world right yeah and so like there's people from brazil things like that yeah but that's pretty cool i didn't know there was that many different uh like streamers and youtuber nationalities there yeah yeah yeah it was mostly you know i guess the balder's gate kind of fandom the the dnd D and D a lot of D and D people were there. Oh yeah. That makes sense. The doctor and I were there, I think because we just are always invited to their stuff.

Cause we were, we were there. Yeah. We were there for the first thing they did way back when it was just me and her. Yeah. And so I think they just invite us back cause they like us and we like them.

So it works out. But, um, yeah, it was mostly dnd because it's that's what balder's gate is it's dnd but video gamified and so that's a lot of what it was um but if you want to go again find the clip online where sven the guy playing the game was like how should i do these romance options and you can hear someone in the crowd loudly saying to press all

the wrong options and eventually it leads to a bear having sex with a vampire and i just want to let you know if you find that clip you can hear me laughing diabolically in the background and it's very obvious it's me and i'm the guy who pulled the trigger on that whole thing and i'm like losing my mind yeah oh yeah i mean i got i would definitely be able to tell your life out there yeah and then everyone was just like why would you do that it's like why not like some some some guy in the comments of uh some tweet was like so crazy that gamers are pushing bestiality on people it's like bro this game gave you an option for a druid to turn into a bear and have

sex with a vampire. I'm gonna do it. I need to see what that shit looks like. I'm going to do it. Like, you don't see anything. The goof of the video is as the, like, bear and vampire go to do it, it cuts to a squirrel in a

tree holding an acorn, and then he looks shocked and drops the acorn, and it cuts to a squirrel in a tree holding an acorn and then he looks shocked and drops the acorn and it's like a really funny goof yeah and i'm like now that's that's that's that's funny like come on you know that's funny don't be uptight like streamers yeah i mean there's always gonna be those people doesn't't matter. They're just going to get angry about something. Yeah. Oof. By the way, a train attendant is what they're called. Good to know.

I guess that flight attendant, train attendant. I guess it makes sense. Why isn't it a plane attendant? I guess there's flight attendants, technically. That's what I'm saying, but if it's train attendant and flight attendant, why isn't it a plane attendant i i guess there's flight attendants technically that's what i'm saying but if it's brain attendant and flight attendant why isn't it a plane attendant listen i don't make the words i just read them but i was saying plane train they rhyme the attendants yeah i don't know it would make more sense it would make a lot more

but maybe if you say plane attendant, people think that means you attend the plane and not the flight, which is what the flight attendant does. But then again, if you're the train attendant, I don't know these rules. But if you're a plane attendant, you also could just be plane. It's a very plane attendant. If you're a train attendant, you could also

be like to help people train. I guess that's true too. Alright, I'm out. I got nothing i'm tapping out bro i can't do this uh let's see what did i do we had uh oh do you remember this is like a year ago i was talking about how in fact i thought of this because it was fourth of july so on fourth of july we had like a barbecue with family and some friends there and it was 4th of July. So on 4th of July, we had like a barbecue with family and some friends there. And it was just, you know, I watched the hot dog eating contest,

as one does. Joey Chestnut won again. Was there any couscous involved or no? I didn't see any, but it would have made it a lot more fun if I did. Right, right. Turns out the whole thing was haddock

the whole time. Who knew? Or a haddock eating contest. Right. Joe Chestnut won that too yeah my fish in the water they apparently have a bunch of eating contests nobody cares about they just care about the hot dog one what are the other ones they were like just the other week he won the the strawberry shortcake eating contest i was like what the shit this dude's just like

every week he's eating he he's power eating something, but he's like, everybody just cares about the hot dogs. Do you think that he, the reason why he does all that is because he just doesn't have to pay for food? No, I mean, I think he's just making money. So now he's just, this is his job. Joey Chestnut net worth. I gotta see how much he's worth.

Now you're making me look this up. Around $4 million. What? Yeah, look at that. He's doing better than us. I want to see. Let's see. So he's had 16th time winning.

Major League Eating. It's an actual. It's like a MajorLeagueEating.com. How on earth to see this 16 time nathan's hot dog eating contest 16 times yeah i think he the one time he lost was to that youtube kid uh i can't remember his name but it was just the other year and then he won it again the next year he yeah wow he holds the records for hard-boiled eggs, asparagus, pulled pork sandwiches, tacos from Taco Bell, hot dogs, chicken wings, hamburgers, pork ribs, meat pies, corned beef sandwiches, shrimp wontons, gyros, Philly cheesesteaks, funnel cakes, fish tacos, traditional tacos, mutton sandwiches, jalapeno poppers, pepperoni rolls, pork roll sandwiches, Twinkies, boysenberry pies, burritos, long form, pulled pork, horseshoe sandwich, San Pedro fish

market shrimp, canteen sandwiches, tamales, grilled cheese, gyoza, pastrami, gumbo, ice cream, poutine, shrimp cocktail, hostess donuts, salt potatoes, turkey, pierogi, White Hut, cheeseburgs, Pizza Hut, Pizzones, kolaches, brain tacos, croquetas, apple pie, pepperoni roll, canteen sandwiches, two-foot sliced pizza, carnita taco, H-E-B, true Texas beef, brisket sandwiches, waffle egg style, or waffle egg-o style, ramen noodles, and cherry pie. That is too much much how is that man still alive i don't i don't know if like they throw it all up afterwards like they have to right

i i don't know because that's like there's your stomach can't like digest all that but even as all that purging would then cause damage to you yeah like something's something bad's happening inside it's that's so much stuff i mean he ate 47 grilled cheese sandwiches in 10 minutes that's not normal so not normal that's and he ate 13.76 pounds of pork rib meat all right well i see i see that i had to look up the guy who defeated him yeah matthew ty stoney yeah yeah matt stoney that's what it was and i just want to say his youtube channel joey chestnut may have been worth $4 million, but Matt Stoney has 16.3 million subscribers on YouTube and 3.52 billion views. Just doing the math in my head on how much each of those views is worth.

That man made bank. Oh yeah. He's, and he's still making bank. Yeah. And I was like, okay, what what is his what is his vibe it started in 2011 at the stockton california asparagus championship which is a thing to eat right but um he oh also his youtube career is crazy because in 2014, he started his channel and he hit 100,000 subscribers in 2014. He wins the hot dog eating contest, instantly hits a million subscribers.

Oh, my God. Yeah, but his success is so good that between 2015 and 2020, he got 10 million more subscribers. Oh, my God. Yeah, that is crazy. That's crazy. People love to watch this man eat, apparently. So someone thinks he's eaten 5.5 pounds of birthday cake in 9 minutes and 17 seconds. No seconds.

Ate 10.5 pounds of yogurt land frozen yogurt in six minutes stop how on life I don't understand he ate slug burgers 43 slug burgers in 10 minutes at the world slug burger eating championship what is a slug burger? Now they got me Googling slug burgers. I don't know what a slug burger is.

A slug burger, originally Weeks Burger, is a traditional southern food in the area of northeast Mississippi. Okay. Consisting of a patty made from a mixture of beef and pork and inexpensive meat extenders such as soybeans. What? Deep fried in oil. It is typically served on a bun with mustard, pickles, onion, and in some places, a side of french fries or onion rings. Now, that is certainly a burger.

I can't. I can't. Yeah, it says main ingredients Beef or pork with an Inexpensive meat extender Such as soybeans Meat extender is not a phrase I like At all

You gotta get your meat Extender to extend your meat Gotta get your meat extender In there to make the meat nice I gotta go to His more recent wins okay here we go Gotta get your meat extender in there to make the meat lice. I gotta go to his more recent wins. Okay, here we go. What the shit?

In 2020, he ate four pounds, 1.9 ounces of Halloween candy in six minutes. Shit, this is like... How on earth? In 2021, he ate 28.5 24 ounce servings of popcorn in eight minutes like i know it's about your stomach expanding like to insane proportions but like it has to hit a point where your stomach's just like dude yeah i'm not doing this anymore like this is this is i'm done i don't know the last thing that says on here for him is he went to the heart attack grill

in uh las vegas and ate a of calories 20 000 in four minutes dude that's like when people run a four minute mile he was like i ate 20 000 calories that's the exact inverse of a four minute mile you know what the insane part is the dude is five foot eight 130 pounds he's literally like the size of me yeah if you look at joey chestnut he's a little skinny boy too yeah and in fact there was like there's the women's competition and there was like uh this one this one woman's won like every year uh i think it's Miko Soto. What's her name? Mickey Soto, Mickey Soto. That's it. Uh, and then there's like these other, these other women, this one Japanese girl, I swear, she was like five foot one, like 90 pounds. And she ate like 50 hot dogs. I was like,

that is insane. That is insane. I'm, I don't know if I should be impressed or truly horrified. That is insane. I don't know if I should be impressed or truly horrified. It's crazy. Like, honestly, when I watch, I'm just in shock. Like, I'm like, I can't imagine doing this. Yeah. Mickey Sudo on competitive eating.

Mickey Sudo. She's just like a normal human. I don't know what to think about any of this yeah it's uh it's it's just weird like i'd watch an entire documentary on like food eater people like there's got to be one right like how they train what they go through i mean what happens after i see a lot of them on i'm looking at photos of them right now and it looks like a lot of them in between when they're not because they all start out and they all kind of look like normal but the more recent photos

they all look ripped as shit and I have to imagine that somewhere along the line doctor was like if this is what you want to do you need to work out like five hours a day yeah it has to be uh like five hours a day yeah it has to be uh it's uh wait okay so i just this is wikipedia it says right discomfort following an event is common with nausea heartburn abdominal cramping and diarrhea people may also use laxative or

force themselves to vomit following the event with associated risks yeah yeah associated risks is the key so it says do competitor they vomit after each competition but this one says yes and no competitive eaters do not vomit intentionally after competitions a competitor cannot vomit or throw up consumed food to win the competition, but their stomach stops contracting. They will feel nausea and vomit. Yo, I'm gonna let you know, I don't think it's worth it. In the food eating contest, vomiting

is called reversal. They're like, guys, we need a better terminology for this. We're like, uh-oh, he's fucking throwing up. He's got the full reversal. He's going full reversal right now. Sounds like a skateboarding thing. Like, bro, he just reversed.

He hit the full reversal. Like, I'm just, I'm looking at this other shit. Like, dude, she won the Knott's Berry. No, actually, she got third place in the Knott's Berry Farms Festival World Pie Eating Contest. She ate 9.5 pounds of pie in eight minutes. Jesus. She did the World Turkey Eating Championship where she got first place. She ate 8.8 pounds of turkey in 10 minutes.

Oh, my God. It's just so much food constantly i just can't it's so much in such a short amount of time that's the shocking thing i bet there's people out there who could 100% eat eight pounds of turkey if you gave them enough time yeah but even then like they're they're eating past their brain response because it's supposed to be like your stomach to brain. Your stomach's like, yo, we're full. Then the brain's like, yo, guys, we're full. But they eat so fast, they just bypass that.

Ribfest, Chicago's Ribmania Eating Championship. She got first for eating almost five pounds in eight minutes. Oh, my God. Like, in my mind, you have to go through the bone. You have to, like, when you play, you just sucking it off. Like, what is going on? Yeah, you're not even chewing. You're just straight up, like, gulp.

Like, that is. Yeah, the Buffalo Wing Eating Championship. Six pounds, almost seven pounds of buffalo wings. 12 minutes. Navigating the bone alone. I don't know, dude. I just don't know. I don't know either.

But that wasn't even my main point of the story. So my main point was it was 4th of July, so I had to watch the hot dog eating contest, right? So I did. And apparently it got delayed, and so it got delayed, and so it almost wasn't gonna happen, and then it happened because the rain passed, but you know, whatever, and I was like, woo, all right, hot dogs, so then I had the memory I always have, which was 1 4th of July, like, I don't know, maybe like 13 years ago, I remember playing

on my Nintendo DS a video game of a Final final fantasy game and i couldn't remember which one it was and i brought this up like a year ago and everybody was trying to guess what it was and i was like nope not that and i was like it starts in a cave all right and i think it's not chocobo dungeon no but i finally figured it out okay After watching enough YouTube playthroughs of all these games. And it was Final Fantasy 3 for the DS. Interesting. Final Fantasy 3, not Final Fantasy 6. No, 3.

Interesting. For the Nintendo DS. And I think it was remade or something. Because they're all like DS characters, right? So if I show you... What year was this? There you go. It was 2006 it's from.

Yeah, Final Fantasy III on the Nintendo DS, 2006. And I remember playing this game and I could never figure out which one it was. And then I found a playthrough and I was like, that's it! In the cave. I didn't know they made like release this for DS. No clue. Yeah. So I remember playing this for about 45 minutes and then I was like, all right, that was fun.

And then I never played it again. But for some reason, I always had like nostalgia of it. I think it was just the the opening menu music being like and then just you know going through this cave and being like whoa and then that was it uh but I was glad I found it that was the main point um and then you know it was barbecued and that was fourth of July so that was fun and then uh my big story that's not really like a big story but i went to get my driver's license renewed right oh boy and uh so i was like all right so i had to go i had to take the visual and the written test which like you have to do every once in a

while which i took that and i missed zero questions i was like i don't know how people fail this thing it was like what do you do at a stop sign stop go through it honk your horn i'm like oh man honk horn uh although some people do you know and they've passed the test they're still driving out there like that i mean you're allowed to lie on that thing i think probably yeah they're like i don't care if it tells me to stop i'm honking my horn yeah uh so anyway the main main thing here was i was waiting in line and i was like all right you know waiting to get up there for them to tell me where to go and this woman behind me comes in and she's on her phone and she's like i don are you? How are you? Okay. Okay. But how are you still there? How are you still there? And I was like, the shit is going on. And so she was like, I, we left at the same time. I can't believe, okay, whatever. Just call

me back. And then she hangs up and then she's, she's there with her kid who I think is like getting a permit or like learning how to drive. And she just like i don't know what he's doing he's just he's in the parking lot of like the grocery store he just i don't know and i was like okay and then he calls back and then she's like what okay yeah i listen we're at the dmv i can't talk okay bye i was just like uh like literally everybody was just looking at her because of how loud she was being and uh that was like all right it's a great start that's a happy marriage it sounds like oh very very happy uh then my favorite was i go up to the the counter he's like i go over there and i go up and this guy, I swear to God, he looks like Arthur from King of Queens.

Right? If you're King of Queens. This guy looks like Arthur, 100%. Could be his brother. And he's just like, all right, you're looking to renew your license. All right, great. We're going to look into the thing. All right, look good.

Look right. Tell me what you see. And then I was like, all right. He's like, all right, you're good. And he starts like filling out the thing. He's like, have you ever had this thing that would prevent you from driving a vehicle have you ever been taking too many drugs or alcohol prevent you from driving a vehicle he's like do you have any uh physical or mental issues prevent you from driving a vehicle I was

like god I hope not and he was like he just like started bursting out laughing and I was like, he just like started bursting out laughing. And I was like, yeah. And he's like, hey, you know what? You have a good day. Get that license. And I was like, well, I got my license already. He's like, hey, renew that license. I was like, I will.

The best part about that is I know for a fact having been I went. I don't remember who it was it was years ago one of our many friends and maybe they'll listen to this and be able to call themselves on this but years ago in la i went with them because they were like i just want someone to keep me coming to dmb somebody bored i was like i got nothing to do we go to the the lady who was at the you know the window and she's the exact same questions. But she's like, do you have anything that could prevent you from doing that? And I don't remember what the joke they made was, but they made a joke just like how you did, except our person goes, sir, it's not funny.

This is a serious question. We were laughing. we thought we were very like it's not funny this is serious that's a true DMV employee right there 100%

because then then I got to the thing where you like take your test and they're like alright are you prepared for the driver's written test? And I was like, I mean, I hope I am. And she's like, well, I hope you are, too, because I don't want to have to fail you. And I was like, OK, there you go. You do not play around with these people.

Yeah, that was the one where she was just she wasn't goofing around. Yeah, there's always the one who's like this is my life sir and then uh my favorite aside from the arthur guy was this this man who he looked like wilford brimley you know the the oh i'm very aware mustache and everything and he was he's the guy who like checked me in and he was like the guy i went to at the end who's like giving the thing he's just like here you go temporary license uh use that if you're doing it'll come in soon get out of here it's like all right see you i was like i love that guy he's just like here's your shit get out i'm like all right yeah we need more of those people

we do he was keeping things moving yeah he's like look i gotta go home today i ain't got time for this yeah and uh that was my fun dmv experience and i was like thank god i don't gotta do this for another like five years or whatever it is you have to get the new thing like there's a new type of oh the real id yeah yeah i didn't have to get that yet apparently that's like in a year or two yeah i i think i don't know i think that's the next thing i'm gonna get rather than just a normal id just so i don't have to go back again you know what i mean oh yeah yeah i mean the by the time i got to renew it then i'll just get that one and be like whatever yeah um so yeah that was that was my fun week sounds fun

yeah it was just really errands to be honest well you know what else is fun getting incredible deals on premium cuts of meat with butcher box and deals this good are hard to come by the grocery store i know if you're like me sometimes go to grocery store, you're looking for a premium cut of meat, something to really hammer home that dinner, and you get there, and either it's gone, or they just don't have it, or the quality isn't great. ButcherBox is going to bring you that high quality meat and seafood right to your home. We're talking 100% grass-fed beef, free-range organic chicken, pork-raised, crate-free, wild-caught seafood, humanely raised, no antibiotics, no hormones, none of that stuff. And the best part is it's delivered right to your doorstep. Free shipping always. And you can do anything from curated to

customized boxes and plans. The variety is crazy, but as I've said before, I am a chicken boy, and I love to make the peri-peri chicken, put some of that sauce on there, go to town, grill it up. Oh my goodness, it is delicious. It is exactly what I want since I can't get overseas and scrum-shum-shum-man, some nandos, which actually I can do right now actually. The taste is delicious. The convenience of getting some high quality steaks, oh my god I love a good steak delivered right to me. I cannot say enough good things about it. If you want to right now get a special deal from us, sign up today at butcherbox.com slash Cox. Use code Cox to get New York strips for a year plus $20 off your first order. That's butcherbox.com slash Cox and and use code COX, C-O-X, to claim this deal.

All right, let's go to chapter two. Someone's got a crendor. Crendor, how's the traffic out there? Oh, boy, traffic. I want to take the traffic segment to actually mention that we had a guy comment last week about their master's in public management and leadership. It's basically a crossroads of sociology, philosophy, economics, organizational theory, scientific methods, political

science, etc. Craft theories on management, behavior, organizational structure of government, how can you affect organizations, people around me, what types of leadership, and then some other stuff. So that's what a leadership degree is. Thank you.

Alright, I mean, we didn't doubt it was a thing. It's just a crazy thing. Yeah. The concept of saying I got a degree in leading is like it's a wild thing to say. It's just like even that. It's like it's eight different things combined. It's so many different areas. You know?

It's a lot. Some might think too much. Some might think too much. Not me, though. Not me, either. But I wouldn't do it. You do you. I wouldn't do it, but, like, you know, you can do it.

Yeah. That's the traffic. All right. Let's go to weather. Weather. All right. Weather. do it yeah that's traffic all right let's go to weather weather all right weather we got a weather request i figured we'd pick this one since you're already there castleton england i mean like i'm right in castleton yeah oh yeah you're right there it's it's a village about 600 people uh but it's popular because it's located in the Peak District National Park in the Pennine Hills that run north

to south along the center of northern England. As such, it's very scenic, popular with hikers, plus there's several caves, including Blue John Cavern, where they mine the mineral Blue John, a very rare form fluorite only found in the area. Also, they film part of the Princess Bride

in a nearby valley of cave dale now you're making me literally look up blue john i'll be honest blue john looks kind it's beautiful blue john oh yeah look at that i've never heard it before it looks great though okay yeah i haven't either yeah although a lot of it looks purple. It does look purple, but it looks kind of like tie dye a little bit too, which I'm here for. Yeah. I guess maybe the purple is like blue mixing with stuff. What makes purple blue and red? Well, maybe the whole thing is like blue John.

The goof is like it wasn't blue, but it was like John's blue. You know what I mean? And that's purple. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Can we just make up a lore? Like total bullshit? It's like, this guy sounds

right. Yeah. So, let's go to Castleton, England. Here we go. Castleton. I need to do the thing. There we are. Castleton, I didn't do the thing. There we are. Castleton, England weather.

Currently, it is 62 degrees Fahrenheit. Feels like 62 degrees. 98% humidity. Oh, my God. Is it Florida? Pressure, 30.01 inches. Visibility, 5 miles. Winds at 5 miles an hour.

4.50 a.m. sunrise. 9.33 p.m. sunset. Dewpoint, 62. UVv index 0 of 11 moon phase waning gibbous uh looking at the 10 day here we have 58 degrees currently sunday it's gonna be 69 nice with p.m showers monday 65 with showers tuesday 63 with thunderstorms wednesday 61 showers thursday 61 showers friday 60 showers saturday 62 light rain and sunday 61 light rain every day is 60 something with rain which honestly i love i would love that weather oh i am now terrified i'm trying to figure out how far that is from where i am now because so much rain. I'm like, no, no. You don't like the rain?

I mean, not days of it on the one week where I'm out of the country. It does look like it's more north. Great. I'll take that. Or wait, Castleton. Is this Castleton? Yeah, there. It's by Sheffield.

Oh, well, of course. Well, obviously, yeah. Northwest of Nottingham. Okay, so it's north-north. Yeah, it's north-north. So I think you're good. Although you'll probably still get rain. Because, yeah.

I love those 60 degrees and rain i would love like a week of that and then a week of like sun and like alternate that would be my ideal weather okay i'm glad i know what your ideal weather is yeah that'd be fantastic what's your ideal weather what if you one thing or like alternating things um sunny 65 degrees like every day yeah no rain ever um rain at night sunny and 65 uh all day and then at 9 p.m rain all right that's fair enough i like that that'd be the perfect all the time i'd be happy yeah that's good yeah you go to sleep with the rain although i don't know if sunny in 65 is enough to dry up all the rain i don't know what the rules are so i imagine my world would be some sort of underwater hellscape but you know it's probably like seattle honestly yeah uh yeah so that is hold on i gotta i want to see if there's like one of those places that's

like old timey houses real quick let you know i was about to say there is a place here called ye olde cheshire cheese in and i have all about it there's a place called the haddock hideaway which is even funnier now because i think it's the hot dog hideaway that's got to be the hot dog hideaway yeah the goose hill hall the old barn three roofs cafe ye old mags head the bulls head the George I love this place and if you look at them they look old oh yeah they are old

like the three roofs cafe is just like actually that probably looks like the most modern of the bunch yeah look at that honestly yeah I love the aesthetic and actually everything looks good there yeah big fan big fan yeah um that's the weather all right let's go to sports sports welcome to the sports desk uh over at the sports desk we've got sports starting with nba summer league action uh pretty much all the rookies and like sophomore players and players trying to make a team playing

a summer league and it's very okay but it's basketball to watch in the summer so i always watch it anyway uh some players have already gotten hurt so that kind of sucks but what are you gonna do uh then we have baseball and baseball currently about to start their all-star break but as of right now we got the rays in first with the orioles right behind them got the cleveland guardians in first with the twins right behind the rangers in first with the astros right behind you got the brave sitting in first pretty nicely. You got the Reds in first, the Brewers right behind, and the Diamondbacks with the Dodgers right behind. And that is sports. Okay, what is our fact of the day?

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day. Australia is whiter than the moon. What? Wait, what? What do you mean? It says the moon sits at 3,400 kilometers in diameter, while Australia's diameter from east to west is almost 4,000 kilometers. What? That doesn't seem like that's right. Uh, I don't know, that's what it says. There's no more explanation? It doesn't say anything else?

That's all it says. Australia, what if I look up Australia whiter than moon? This says, is Australia whiter than the Earth's moon? Yes and no. It depends on what yardstick we use. Uh,

oh my god, this is like a whole, a whole thing. So maybe it actually isn't completely factual, but it says Australia is an island continent, the sixth largest country after Russia, Canada, China, and the United States and Brazil.

Total land area of 7.69 million square kilometers. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. According to NASA, the moon's equatorial diameter is 3,476 kilometers, whereas Australia's width from east to west, 4,000. By that measure, Australia is indeed wider than the moon, but not by much. We also need to consider that the moon's shape is spherical. This is an important distinction. Think of the moon as a ball, a three-dimensional object, whereas the island continent is like a two-dimensional surface.

So while Australia's total land area, as noted above, is 7.69 million, the moon's surface is 37.94 million square kilometers. And the tweet, oh, this is all all from a tweet the tweet only made a narrow claim that the continent was wider than the earth's satellite therefore based on specific wording of the claim in the tweet australia is wider than the moon however if we take the satellite's total land area into consideration then it is way larger than the continent okay all right all right that's what i was that last bit's what i cared about i was like hold on yeah this is suspicious yeah that's pretty suspicious that's kind of a dumb fact

because it's not factual really it's kind of but not really i'm gonna do another one okay uh all right here we go we have uh the the whoa the cornea is one of only two parts of the human body without blood vessels the cornea is the clear part of the eye that covers the pupil and other parts of the eye cartilage and the cornea are the only types of tissue in the human body that do not contain blood vessels uh your eye also has some other bizarre features you probably didn't know about next find out which is i was just saying tell me to go read more yeah i mean i guess that makes sense right yeah i mean i don't know enough about the body but i would imagine of all the things it's just a receptor yeah i mean it's one of those things i hear it i'm like yeah it

sounds pretty true to me i don't know enough but i'm like yeah i know enough to know that that sounds right yeah yeah like unless you're an eye doctor like probably a normal doctor learns about the body or like a scientist you don't know enough to like be like yeah you know i can't uh like challenge that claim but like it does make sense so like sure yeah so that's your fact of the day okay shit all right let's jump into a big news story today big news story of the day. Day. Day. Let's see. We've got long overdue book returned to Massachusetts library 119 years later. I need to know the book and I need to know why I'm here for this.

Here we go. On February 14th, 1904, someone curious about the emerging possibilities of a key force of nature checked out James Clerk Maxwell's An Elementary Treatise on Electricity from the New Bedford Free Public Library. I love it. It would take 119 years

and the sharp eyes of a librarian in West Virginia before the scientific text finally found its way back to the Massachusetts library. The discovery occurred when Stuart Pline, the curator of rare books at West Virginia University Libraries, was sorting through a recent donation of books. Pline found the treatise and noticed it had been part of the collection at the new bedford library and critically had not been stamped withdrawn indicating question for you question for you what is this book called again uh this is the an elementary treaties on electricity okay i'm looking up this book i love love this. Alright. It says it had not been stamped withdrawn indicating that while extremely overdue, the book

had not been discarded. Pline contacted Jody Goodman, the special collections librarian in New Bedford to alert her. This came back in extremely good condition. New Bedford Public Library Director Olivia Mello said Friday, someone obviously kept this on a nice bookshelf because it was in such good shape and probably got passed down in the family.

The Treatise was first published in 1881, two years after Maxwell's death in 1879. Although the cranberry-colored copy now back at the New Bedford Library is not considered a rare edition of the work. The library occasionally receives books as much as 10 or 15 years overdue, but nothing anywhere near close to a century or more. The Treatise was published at a time when the world was still growing to understand the possibilities of electricity. In 1880, Thomas Edison received a historic patent embodying the principles of his incandescent lamp.

When the book was last in New Bedford, the nation was preparing for its second modern World Series. Incumbent Republican President Theodore Roosevelt was on track to win another term. Wilbur and the Orville Wright had conducted their first airplane flight just a year before, and New York City was celebrating its first subway line. The discovery and return of the book is a testament to the durability of the printed word, especially in a time of computerization and I absolutely love this story. Love this story. It is really cool.

The value of the printed book is it's not digital. It's not going to disappear. Just holding it, you get a sense of someone having this book 120 years ago and reading it. And here it is in my hands. It's still going to be here 100 years from now the printed book is always going to be valuable the new library new bedford library has a five cents per day late fee at that rate someone returning the book overdue by 119 years would face a hefty fee of more than twenty one hundred dollars but the good news is

the library's late fee limit maxes out at $2. Another lesson to find, according to Mello, it's never too late to return a library book. That's a good message. I remember when I was a kid, our library, if I was late by like a week, that was like a $5 charge. And so I would just be like, I just won't return the book then. Yeah, people just aren't going to return it. Yeah, people are starting to return it. Yeah, $2?

That's a solid deal. You could be late and be like, yeah, I messed up. Sorry. Here's $2. And they'd be like, thank you, sir. That's great. That's fantastic. That is.

Yeah, there's some libraries. There's like $200, and we're going to make you eat this book. Like, I don't want to eat the book. Like, you're going to eat the book. You're going to eat the book. Your library card will be revoked. Then you're going to eat your library card. Yeah, shit. I'd be thrilled if anyone wanted a book at all right now.

Yeah. I'd be like, we'll pay you $2 to take a book. Yeah. No, that's an awesome story. I like that. Yeah, I like that a lot. That was not the insanity i thought it was gonna be loved it big fan yeah i was hoping it was one of those books that was like

ways to date a woman 1900 edition oh yeah that would wow this is this is really something, some guy used it all these years later. He was like, this doesn't even work. And that's your news story of the day. Alright, well, that's it for us. Thanks so much for listening and watching. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Crandor, hit up the socials.

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And as always shake the Rhino. So we can continue.