Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 449 - Cox n' Crendor LIVE: Revengeance

Episode Date: December 22, 2024

The boys are back from their live show in Chicago and here it is for you!!!! Please enjoy! Go to http://factormeals.com/50cox and use code 50cox to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. Go to http://manscaped.com and use code CRENDOR to get 20% off and free shipping.

Today's episode is brought to you by Factor Meals. Factor is gonna get you some delicious food delivered right to your home. Also today we're brought to you by Manscaped. Manscaped's gonna get you lookin' very good this holiday season. Let's jump into this podcast! Hello everybody it's time for Cause I'm Friendong! This is Friendong in the morning. In the morning! We're on Captain Blonde, live, live, live, live! Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Jesse, why are you not on stage right now? You're late. You're late. You're late. You're very miserable. I'm literally right here. Why do you think I'm not on the stage right now? Oh wait, never mind, hold on, I'm about to be on stage.

Thank you, sir. The people demand. The people demand. The people demand. The people demand. The people demand. The people demand. The people demand. The people demand. The people demand. The people demand. Take this.

Hello. I was getting the alcohol. God no. Hell no. I sit all day. Is it Malarbs? God no. You guys need chairs? Hell no. I sit all day. Actually, that's not true.

I go to the gym and stuff. But I hate sitting, dude. It actually sucks. Unless you've been standing all day, and then it's great. It's about balance. Hello, everybody. Welcome to Cox andicruendo Live! Tonight is a very special show because we brought some guests.

We're going to have a good time. And if it sucks, that's the man to blame. It's, yeah. Great. First off, thanks for coming. It's nice to see you all. How many of you are here again? You've come back because you said

you can take the punishment. You fools. And how many of you are brand new? This is your first time. You fools. And how many of you have no clue what the hell this is? The smartest people in the room. Nice to have you. Thanks for being here.

Boy oh boy. First off, tonight's gonna be wild. Obviously enjoy yourself. I hope you have a good time. If you don't, again, whose prom is that? Mine. Awesome. We're on the same page, baby.

Great. Cool. I want to get this out of the way, because I feel like we need, you know when you see a show, you see these performers up on a stage and they're kind of like fool themselves a little bit of assholes I used to be not anymore you've never what do you mean what do you mean when were you an asshole it was like 2013 to like 2016, 2017. What a great time period for you.

Well, kinda, yeah, but it was like my Krendick era. Your Krendick era. Come out here so they can see you as you hide. Oh yeah, I forget there's like sides. So I just want to get this out of the way because I feel like it's needed. So you understand who we are as people before we begin the show. Now it was my understanding that we were sold out. But I saw at the front that there was two girls

who rolled up, they were asking about the show. Guy at the door was like, well, $30 to get in. I was watching, they looked directly at me and said, no, that's okay, walked away. See, if you're wondering, do I have an ego? watching they looked directly at me and said no that's okay walked away. See if you're wondering do I have an ego? No it's been shattered by doing this as long as I have and so I watched that go down it was like cool so that's that's how we're doing buddy. I wish that was me I wish I could not pay $30 and then walk away.

I wish I just didn't have to be here. I mean, it's been a great time. I've gotten to hang out with you and Alex Fosciani. Yes. And Mathis. Yes. And Mr. Michael Davis. That's right. Be Michael Davis. If you bought merch he's outside selling merch. Yeah he's the merch guy. Yeah if you're wondering like

what is he doing here? Literally selling merch. He has no other role unless we give him one. But I don't think they're even in this room right now. I think they're still out there selling merch. Good. That's great. Hey buddy how you doing? I mean yeah I, I'm doing pretty good. Just saying, just hanging out with you. I think you and Alex have been crossfaded for the entire trip. How dare you?

Only at the Mexican restaurant. And that was great. But you also got me drunk, so. It was good. It was great but you also got me drunk so it was good it was great um what else what else going on with you I'm just doing what I normally do I'm just what are you doing you're the one who's like visiting and like going around seeing stuff I've already seen everything here that's true that's true you really are boring yeah we got in and said to ourselves, boy,

you know what Davis hasn't ever had? Portillo's. Oh yeah. So we went there and it was like meat. Like meat? It was like meat. And he was like, I love this. And that was the thing.

What did you get from Portillo's? I got exactly what, I want to try something new. Don't do this, don't waste your time on this. that was the thing. What did you get from Portable? I got exactly what, this is, I want to try something new. Don't do this, don't waste your time on this. Never try anything new. I'm aware. I got the beef bowl. No bread. Beef bowl?

A bowl. Imagine like the sandwich with hot peppers just in a bowl. That's like getting the, it's like Chicago hot dog with no bun. Yeah, no, that's what it was. And if you're wondering, Jesse, you don't seem that enthused, cause I wasn't.

And I sat there like, they're eating these delicious sandwiches, I'm like. That's like the most LA thing you could do. Yeah, but I didn't want a full sandwich, but I liked the idea of meat and spice. And so I, meat and spiced me, and I was happy. But it wasn't that happy. You don't sound happy.

Cause bread fucking rules, dude. Just eat the bread, okays. Well, cause I didn't, and it's the past, and I can't do anything about that choice. Well, okay. Except complain in front of a live audience. Let me have this. So that's what we did, and then everyone was cold,

because we're all from LA. Dude, I've been wearing this like nonstop. I have like nothing under it. I'm just like, dude, it's like 35. It's like we're in March already. And it's gonna be like 50 next like dude it's like 35. It's like it's like we're in March already and it's gonna be like 50 next week. It's like spring and then Davis was like he's like dying. He's got like three layers on. Davis is great. So we went to the oh boy I don't even know the name of it. It's in Delhi Plaza downtown. That's what it is. I still don't know what the hell they said.

The Chris Kindle. The Chris Kringle? The Chris Kringle. Chris Kringle. The Chris Kindle's the Amazon version. What's the deal? So we went down there and Davis didn't have a hat. And so it was very, it was great because he did get a hat. But he made the choice of he wanted to find the hat

that was right for him. And I get it, I understand it. But watching him freeze while he's looking at stalls and being like nope, moving on was great. He found one, it matched all of his clothes, looked very comfy. Me, I didn't have a hat, but the first one I saw. It has a big foot on it, so I was pretty pleased by that.

It matched nothing I had on. And I saw a comment, I posted a photo, and some guy said something along the lines of, Jesse's really capturing the downtown flasher vibe. And I was like, I'm bundled up. I've got like a coat and multiple layers on. He's like, no, that guy's showing his dick. And I did.

And then we met you. Yeah, they were just like drinking at the hotel bar. Yeah. And I wasn't gonna do anything, so I had to like edit my thing I've been working on. And then they were just, I literally texted and was like, or no, you texted, and you were like, it's like we're at your house,

because he showed the TV and it was Family Feud. Yes, Family Feud was on the TV, and he was like, wowee, and I responded, this could be us, but you playing, and then he showed up. Well yeah, and then I was like, well I'm done doing everything I was doing. I didn't know you were like, chilling now.

And then Alex said, dog, get down here. That was it. And he showed up? I showed up. I must stress, when we were doing something fun and out and doing things, no show. The minute we were just sitting still doing nothing of value, immediately showed up.

Yeah. But the thing is, like, I've been to Chicago so many times and done so many things, and then you also got up and did it at, like, 10 a.m. or something. Look, it's your fault that you wake up at 1 p.m. in the afternoon every day. I'm not saying it's not. I'm just saying. That's why I didn't show up, too.

Okay. Understood. I'm not gonna complain. I why I didn't show up too. Okay, understood. I'm not going to complain. I know who you are. Yeah. We just had plants. And I'm sure you enjoyed them. It's true. It's true.

And then, what the hell do we... Oh, today we went to your breakfast place. A wild berry? Mm-hmm. Yeah. They have a lot more wild berries now. They're like a ton all over. It was weird.

I realized they're my biggest problem in life where according to Alex and Davis, an older woman fell behind me. Like fell, fell. Like collapsed on the ground, hit a table, kind of made noise. This is me the entire time it's behind me. I didn't look, I didn't interact, I wasn't worried.

And that I think is a problem. Because that could have been anything. And I was like, none of my business. I don't even know what the hell that is. Were you just, you weren't oblivious to it. Oh no, I heard it. I was like mmm I'm not gonna make a scene for them

I'd like to think the old lady was thankful because everyone else rushed to her help and She looked at me was like that boy respects my integrity as an individual Right, I feel like that's what happened. Yeah, I never want anyone helping me Yeah, I don't want your help help. Yeah, when I'm on the ground with a table on top of me. He'll be fine. And I'm telling you, LA did that to me. I'm immune to weird stuff. But you're not immune to it, it's because it's constantly bombarding you. Yeah, I've desensitized myself to it.

I don't have the ability to care anymore about crazy stuff. I'm convinced if an earthquake happened and it swallowed all of California, I'd be still sitting in my couch like, this will pass. I'd go into the void like, this isn't so bad. There's like two levels to that. Is there? There's like people that are you or you don't care enough. Yeah. Which I probably am pretty close to there. And then there's the other end, where it's like people care too much to the point where those people will probably get murdered.

Like somebody's going to be broken down on the side of the street. And they'd be like, they got to help them. And then the guy's like, the next victim. Yes. Every time I think of that, I'm like, that's a movie. One time I drove home. It's like 11 PM because I work too much. And I went home. it's like 11 p.m. because I worked too much and I went home,

I'm driving back home and on the intersection is like a dude perched like this with, I swear to God, tail feathers. And I don't know if this was some sort of gargoyle man or a bird man or just a guy. But he was in the middle of the road, and I was like, I could do about eight million things here, but I'm gonna drive around him,

and do like, mm-mm, no, you do your own thing, sir. He could have been there all night for all I know. I don't know what happened to Birdman, I hope he's doing all right. But every time, one time, on the way to the office, there was like a dude standing on the corner dick out just like waving it and there's some ladies in the office and they were like not a fan of that for many many many many hours just sway in

hours yeah yeah that's impressive I got there early and then I saw him and two hours later people came in like, what the shit is going on? So I called the cops like, well you can't just have a naked guy out there. Cops arrive, talk to the dude, then they come see me and they're like, so was he really naked?

I'm like, what? And they're like, you know, just if you don't want the homeless guy around, just say. I was like, I don't have a problem, he was just naked. And they were like, whatever sir. I was like, how am I the bad guy? So I no longer care. I'm like, do your thing, naked man.

Wiggle that dick for the world. I'll throw him dollars next time. You earn this baby. Yeah. It's like when you go to the mall and they try like the kiosk people try to get you. It's always just like the brand, what you never been to a mall with the kiosk people? Who are the, oh the people are like,

you definitely want to try on these shades. Yeah, so just be like, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir. And they always want to like rub your hand with some weird lotion or like sell you like shoe shines and shit. Cell phone case, weird jewelry, shoe shining for sure, sunglasses and t-shirts that were made right there. Yeah and you'll always see the people that get reeled in by them and you can just tell they're like about to buy like $200 worth of something. The problem is I'm I'm that person. That's how you can do it. Don't make eye contact, you just keep walking.

That's why the... I kind of like it though. You get attention. And I'm a giant whore for attention. That's true you are. So they're like, come here, come on. There was one time, it was like a few years ago at the mall, it was Christmas.

I swear to God, they were trying to like get me into a cult or like abduct me. There was this really tall guy and this swear to God, they were trying to get me into a cult, or abduct me. There was this really tall guy and this really short guy, and they were just walking around, they came up, and they were like, are you spiritual? And I was like, you know, I'm not, and I just literally kept walking, as I was like, I don't know, and I walked away.

And then I went up and I looked back, and they were just kind of walking towards, and I was like, I'm fuckin', I'm gone. I swear they were gonna take me back to Utah. I realize I'm the problem. Now that you say that, I don't walk away. Dudes will come up to me right off the stream and be like, hey man, I need 20 bucks.

I'm like a designer or something. Here's my portfolio and they'll open like a binder of shitty art. Like, I'm trying to get into school, and he'll show me all of his like crappy art, and I will say to myself, I realize this is a scam, but like, good work on putting the binder together. You're really selling the scam, I'm impressed.

And then he'll be like, you know what, I don't have 20, but like I'll give you five. He's like, thanks man. I admire the effort he put in work. He could have just said, I need like gas money or something. I'm like, so do I. Oh my God, I had somebody like that too. The gas money.

They were literally in the parking lot of the mall, and then they were like, we just don't have gas money to get back And I was like here's like three dollars. They're like oh my god. Thank you, and then the next week I saw them there again now. It's like these people are really bad at managing their gas They did not make it off that gas. Yeah, no they put in three bucks and did not make it out of there Yeah, oh well, and uh there was a similar one at a Best Buy. And then they started driving around honking their horn.

And then they left. I don't know what they were doing. They were letting you know they were cool. Yeah, it must have been it. That's what I thought. I was like, wow, they really are cool. I don't know. I don't know.

Yeah, I just don't trust people. I trust too much. I'm a very trusting soul. I trust you enough to do a podcast with you weekly. Thank you. I'm not untrustworthy. I just don't trust others. Right.

Wait, hold on. Do you trust me? Yeah. Once you, once I've brought that trust in over the course of over eight years, then I trust you. How do you know you can trust me? You need a bigger sample size. How do you know I'm not out to take you down?

You're not. But he will fantasize about bringing people down. I'm glad. I'm going to need you to elaborate more on that. Doesn't sound nearly as cool as I thought it would. You've talked about how you're like, how would I ruin someone's life if they paid me money to do it? That's true.

You create these weird situations where you are a bad person, but you would never be a bad person. I was, last night we were talking about the fact that if I ever became grossly rich, despite my best efforts, I would still be a bad person. And I was explaining what I would do with my money, I realized like, oh my god, I'd be a terrible human being. Also, let me set the story first. Okay. This is like an insane story. Alex, it's all started with Alex. It always does. He wanted to form a town where you had, this is the stupidest thing that has ever existed. You want to form a town where you need a card to get in, but once you're in, it's like you're in 2013. And everything is like 2013.

You live like it's 2013, and everything is normal, but it's 2013. Like the internet's the way it was, life's the way it was, and that's it. And he was like, it's my compound, which by the way sounds cultish. And he's like, when did you go there? It's 2013.

I was like, sounds like a cult. And the entire time, everything he said sounded like a cult. But he was like, it's not a cult because you don't have to do anything for me. We're chill, you don't have to ever see me. You just show up to the town with your card. Yeah, because the- Is this the place, Jonestown?

No, it's Alex Burden. And the weird part about it was that he was like, you don't have to follow the rules. So I was like, well, what are the rules? And he was like, well, you know, just like be chill. He's like, what do you consider chill? Like, if I'm your friend and I'm there, do I get stuff? And he was like, yeah, I mean, whatever you want.

He's like, okay. So I'm married. And I bring a prostitute to your compound to hide it from my wife. You chill with that? And he was like, well, do I know your wife? Is she your friend? I was like, oh yeah, no, you guys are like besties.

And he's like, oh, no, I would tell your wife. I'm like, okay. No, actually, he said first I would have a talk with you. And I was like, it's true. But he's like, I talked to your wife. I was like, cool, cool, cool, all right. So there's a line there. I'm not married, I bring your prostitute. And he's like, yeah, whatever. I'm like, I talked to your wife. I was like, cool, cool, cool. All right, so there's a line there. I'm not married, I'm not your prostitute.

And he's like, yeah, whatever. I'm like, I kill that prostitute. And he's like, no! Don't, no murder! I'm like. To be fair, there was no murder allowed in 2013. True. He's right. However, he was saying that he would smoke weed there,

and I was like, in 2013, it wasn't legal in California. And he was like, well that's, I'm just gonna change. He's like, so the rules are, ehh. It's also his compound. You're right, he is the billionaire in this scenario. But then I was like, okay, I sell drugs. If there's drugs in the compound, I'm selling coke. And he was like, I talked to you about it,

but like, whatever. I was like, and I'm lacing it with shit. And he was like, okay, no. And I'm like, so there are was like, and I'm lacing it with shit. And he was like, okay, no. And I'm like, so there are lines of what the rules are. And that's what the whole night was really. It was me just being like, what's the line I can cross? And eventually, he'll be on in a little bit, you'll have to ask him.

I probably should have mentioned, this is a dual show tonight. Oh yeah, it's a dual show. Don't cheer that loud. They're not in the room. Maybe they are. I don't know. I can't see anything. Yeah. I don't know either. But, um, my turn to say what I would do with the money. So if I had a billion dollars, what would I do? Obviously, it would happen. So I was like, okay, first off,

I take half that money, put it away immediately. Then I take what was left, half that money would go into like the Jesse Cox fund for being a cool dude. That's how I live. The other half is like for future generations, right? And then the half that's left, I then split that up. Everyone I know is getting some money

so you never bug me again. Then, you know, I'll buy like a house or whatever it does. Eventually got to the littlest bit of money. I was like, okay, here's the plan. We're going to Vegas, don't bring anything. You each get $100,000, you must spend it all. Right, and I was like, that's the plan. And then, while in Vegas,

and this is where the evil comes in. It's like, while in Vegas, we'll all like rent out a theater, and I'll give you all a bunch of, wads of cash, and then we have people come up on stage and perform for us. And if they're good, we throw money at them.

And I realized like, oh shit. I've become terrible. This is like a Mr. Beast video. Pretty much and I realized like wow if I had in my mind I was like you know you can come out you could do a little song and dance like tell a joke and we're like that was funny here I have some money but when you think about it like that is scary awful. I was like, oh yeah, no, I would be a bad person. So even if I tried to be nice, I'd be awful.

And that's what I meant. Yeah. You create these situations. But you would never do them. No, but I like to think that in a post-apocalyptic situation, I could. Like, I want to run the town that's both a casino and a whorehouse.

But I want to have an eye patch and a cane and a southern accent. Right. I want to be like... The walking dead guy. Well, well, well. If it isn't my friend Crandall. Right? I wouldn't live in your town.

Fine. You don't get to go down to the whore pits. And the fighting brothelsels and the shark casino. I thought you don't like sharks. Yeah, no, I don't go to the casino. You don't get high on your own supply, dude. I run the town and I look for the guy who has the blind gunslinger, who is the only one who's ever stopped me from my goals. I was like, you must find the blind gunslinger who is the only one who's ever stopped me from my goals. I was like you must find the blonde gunslinger. And I got like a bunch of mutant goons. One's name is Tiny but he's the biggest one. Where did they come from? It's like

post-apocalypse? Yeah you know like the desert, they're desert people. Desert folk. Yeah. Yeah. They like wandered into town one day, ate a person, and I'm like, you seem pretty good. Get in here. His name's like Mongo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's exactly that. Except it's me and I'm cool. I'm trying, look, that's all I got is dreams. Dreams in you, buddy.

That's really all I got. That's so sad. That's pretty all I got. That's so sad. That's pretty sad, yeah. You don't have to finish that, I know what it is. Yeah, I won't. We'll get to you. Don't worry, you have a place in our little show. Anyway, question.

Who here thinks they've traveled the furthest to be here? I'm just asking in total length of distance. 800 is pretty good. Where's our French. How are you? So nice to see you here for the first time ever. What? Look at you. What a sweet, did you know what a great guy you are? Are you aware of how just every time you've been here alone by yourself with no one else so nice to see you welcome back that's pretty good um why to see us that's like sweet enough that I don't want to mock it yeah I'm like sweet enough that I don't want to mock it. I won Christmas this year for this. Wow, what are you getting, do you know?

No. Don't answer that, nevermind. I don't want to know anymore. You two stay right there and be cute and sweet and don't ruin this for me. Okay, anyone? Ireland. Ireland?

Ireland. What? What? Why? Ireland? Ireland? What? Why? Oh well then that's that's fake. Do you know what was that Irish place that sent us a shirt? Oh the Sligo Gardai. Yeah that one. That's not how you say that. How do you say it? Sligo is the cops, right? Well, I was close enough. There are only two words that I...

Yep. Fool I am. Okay. Good to know. Yeah, we have windbreakers from them. I love that. I would go, but I'd be that piece of shit who goes to Ireland who's like, yo, my family's from Cork County? I'd be that guy. I'd be like, I swear to God,

I swear to God, I know that's not true. I know that's not true. I know that's not true. I don't believe you one bit. I don't believe you one bit. You'd be like, this asshole.

Like, I'm basically Irish, dude. And they'd be like, kick his ass. Like, but I'd come back to the States and be like, guys, I got beat up in Ireland. So'd be like, kick his ass. But I come back to the States, I'm like, guys, I got beat up in Ireland, so I'm basically one of them. Yeah, but isn't French guy not from France?

Oh no, he's fake too. Yeah, I see you. That's a fake accent. Yeah. Real voice is like, hey there. Y'all know I'm totally from Freud's, dude. Dude, it's weird when you're looking up. It's literally just shadow.

You're shadow people, it's tough. Because the lights are just shining down. So you can only see two rows of people's faces. I imagine you're all very attractive, though. Now I can see you and you're scary red. Yeah, now it's just like a horror movie. Oh, no, no. Hey, look at that.

Now you see what we see. Now you're blinded. I'm going to say something honestly here. Yeah? I would sleep with every one of you. Woo! Sleep. I have work in the morning.

I'm sleeping, OK? You get in your side, and I'll roll up like a burrito, and we're fine. What I'm saying is, I did not get a room tonight. No, I'm just kidding. I really screwed up. Yeah. Hey man, there's something you were talking about

the other night that I wanted to bring up on this show because it was important to me, because I thought you sounded like a crazy person. Okay. We're sitting there, we're having a conversation and you said, do you know about the levels of... Oh, self-awareness. Self-awareness.

Yeah. And I don't know what the hell you were talking about. So I saw TikTok, which the TikTok already was like, it was bad. It was just some guy that was like, have you seen the video of the levels of self-awareness? And I was like, no. So I went and I looked it up,

and like, it's not like that crazy of a video. The guy's like breaking down like, the first level is that you know you need to get food and water and your brain's like, go get it. And then- So level one is like, animal self. Yeah. Level two is like, you know that other people need that.

And so you like, relate to them in that way. So that's community. Yeah level three was like you realize that but you start manipulating it to gain personal benefit and then the show is really and then it keeps going up to like ten levels and I was I didn't even like really care about the whole thing I was like okay I get it but at it. But at the point, I was like, I guarantee you, if I go to the YouTube comments, these people are gonna be like, I'm like level nine or 10, like 100%. And I went down and it was like all of it.

They're like, I alternate between level 10 Buddhist monk and then I drop down to like seven on a good day. And I was like, this can't be real. So then I was like, well, these people wouldn't be self-aware because they're not even realizing that they're not actually there. So I was like, OK. I looked up how many people think they're self-aware versus how many are. And there was a Harvard study.

90% of people think they're self-aware, and 10% to 15% are. And I was like, yeah, that sounds about right. Let me ask you a question. Do you think you're self-aware? I would say I used to think I was, and I wasn't. And now I'm much more self-aware. But I don't think I'm some Mensa scientist here,

step back and analyze my own life from a spotlight. So that's what it becomes. Almost like you're a ghost looking down at yourself as if you are spectating yourself outside your body. That's how you feel about you? No, I'm saying once you get high enough, that's what it is. You can like introspective yourself because you analyze yourself as if you're just

some random person the way you would analyze someone else. What level do you think I am? Hold on, what level do you think you? One. What level do you think you are first? You're the baseline. I genuinely don't even know in terms of this.

Well you're not a 10, clearly. I'm definitely not a 10. Or a nine. What? I feel like if you're above an eight, that's like you're like a scientist or like creating crazy shit. Like a scientist?

You're like a scientist. There are people that think they're scientists, but they're not. Oh, I'm aware. Yeah. Yeah. So you're like a five? I'd say like a six.

What is a six? What's the vibe of a six? I can step back and look at myself and be like, yeah, that's pretty dumb. Why'd you do that? Or I can see my flaws. Some people, when they do all these tests, they'll be like, are you socially anxious?

And they'll be like, no, I'm pretty cool. But then they'll be socially anxious? And they'll be like, no, I'm pretty cool. But then they'll be socially anxious because they can't analyze themselves. So you have to be able to look at yourself realistically. And I think that's one of the biggest things people struggle with because people see themselves how they see themselves. Sure.

Now back to the main question. How do you view me, old chum? It really shouldn't take you this long to answer. Well, it's difficult because... What do you mean it's difficult? Okay, we've also had the discussion of how you don't have an inner monologue. I don't.

When I say things, they happen. So there's no filter. That's already a bad sign. Well, I also can't visualize objects. Which is crazy to me. I can't help what I am. I'm not saying it's bad. I'm just saying it's crazy, because that's all I do.

I just can't visualize it. I don't know if it's unique. We found out, actually, a lot of people are weird like me. They're actually, yeah. It's like 50-50 or like, I think there's more people like you. Who just can't visual, like you said, picture an apple in your head.

That's how I'm told. I can't do it. I know what an apple looks like. I can, I'm like, oh yeah, an apple, but there's nothing going on up here. It is the lights and I hear some voices and it's darkness. Like I can envision entire things in my head, which is crazy. I can't.

I don't. Like story. I can create stories in my head. I don't do that. Which is what leads to crippling anxiety. No, I don't do that. So I remember. I don't have anxiety. I remember being five years old and my aunt,

she was like a day school teacher or whatever. And she was like watching over me and I was like waiting for my parents to come back. But I was looking out the window and I was like ready to like lose it, like crying. Cause they were late. And she was like, you're just like weird. Like you're just.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. She was like all the other kids would just be like run around playing like, cool, my parents are here or whatever. And I remember like that moment cause I was like, they died in a car crash what's if the car is on fire oh yeah how old were you five and I can like vividly imagine it what do you mean you were fine I mean yeah do you have hold on do you have like when you were four you sailed around the world in the boat capsized, you watched people die, and now it's something you, you just became that?

What triggered you? Yeah, my parents are very anxious people as well. Oh, well all right, nevermind. I think it's genetic. All right, yeah, my fear of sharks comes from the fact that a babysitter let me watch Jaws when I was like four, and I genuinely have never recovered. I'm like, the ocean's terrifying.

Also, I watched Aliens that night too. Not worried about aliens, I genuinely have never recovered. I'm like, the ocean's terrifying. Also, I watched Aliens that night too. Not worried about alien, maybe the original alien, I don't remember, I was a baby. All I remember is the aliens themselves, cool. Weird tentacle things going down your throat, not cool. And to this day, not a fan. It's probably cool for some people.

Not us. I don't like anime. You give me a five right now. So anyway, I have crippling anxiety. It's not great. That's why even when I'm like, oh, I had insomnia, and you're just like, I was like, lay there, and I fall asleep. I do. There's a lot of thought going on up here.

I'm going to let you know. I will lay there, and I'll just be like, all right. It's like probably like 4.57. I'm going to have to wake up at like at least this time, which means if I don't fall asleep now, I'm going to feel bad. And then like the time keeps going. And then I'll listen to like my ASMR thing,

and I'm like, it's reaching the end, which means that it's probably close to like 5.20 now, and I still can feel bad. And then like the time keeps going and I'll listen to like my ASMR thing and I'm like it's reaching the end which means that it's probably close to like 520 now and I still can't sleep. But if I get up, I might not be able to get up. And then tomorrow I'm gonna feel terrible. What it's gonna, and that's just like it snowballs. See, that's why I'm screwing up. You gotta go to the portion of YouTube that's like,

guy in South Korea drives for 12 hours in the rain. No commentary, no nothing, 12 hour long video. There is no end. You will wake up and it will still be raining on that man. Maybe I do. That's the shit. That guy is, there's a ton of them. Or like the guy who walks through Japanese towns in like 12K.

Oh yeah, I've seen those. Those guys, that guy rules. And then he just like, and he's like, this is the rain one. And I'm like, it's 17 hours long, boop. That's how you go to bed, dude. I think you're right, I need that. Yeah, you can't have one where it's like,

who wants pancakes? That one's gonna end eventually. That's true. Those are like, designed for, well I don't know what they're designed for, I wouldn't know. So my point is- Do you know what those are for?

Yeah no, they help me too. My point is, Yeah? I don't get how you think. So I don't know how self-aware you are. I'm not. I'm up here in a giant Pokemon Christmas sweater. That's true.

My self-awareness is at a minimal. What Pokemon is that? Badoof. Hey, I actually got it. I'm impressed. Slingus. Four temps. Yeah, Badoof.

Who's this guy? There you go. Badoof. Badoof. Badoof. Pick a challenge. Badoof. Well if y'all don't even know, then I guess I'm fine.

Some of you seem very adamant, and some of you agree with me, and here's the thing. This is America, they agree with me, so I don't have to listen to you. I can make up whatever shit I want. Badoof. It actually is Badoof, isn't it? I only know like Gens 1, 2, and 3.

I'm not gonna lie. I don't know. I didn't play Gen 4. Kaizo Ironman goes Gen 1, 2, 3, that's it. I've got like 8,000, actually more than that. It's like 13,000 runs. I literally haven't played Pokemon since Silver Gold. Gold Silver.

That's Gen 2. I do not know or care enough. I just really like the fact that it reminds me of me a little. So it's like having my own face on a sweater. Hold on, my parking. You're looking it up? My parking has to be renewed. No!

What a great addition to the show. Hold on, hold on, dude. Leave it on the parking ticket and leave it on your window. Max Purchase, we're good. Max Purchase sounds like the name of a guy who sells you tires. It kind of does, yeah. Come on down to Max purchase. If you got tires, wait, need for tires.

If you got tires, we'll take them. Max purchase only buys tires. I must have all of them. He'll buy you scraps, like make his own tires. Yeah, I watched, sometimes, I love the internet, at about four a.m., I watched a video of guys taking old tires and then making new tires out of the old tires.

I watched that for like 45 minutes. I was like, no shit, they do that? That's cool, and I just watched the whole thing. Yes, I was. How dare you? Yeah that was pretty cool. Yeah. So it's... greedy? Green day? I've always said I walk a lonely road. You have, yeah. It's the only road I've ever known. Yeah. Yeah.

I remember that. That was more dookie era, but like whatever. Yeah. That was, well didn't that song come out like 2004? 2003? Whatever, whenever that Superman show Davis Loves is on, was on. Smallville. Smallville. Ask him about Smallville, he'll talk to you for 12 hours

about how much he loves Smallville. Oh no, we're aware. That was his crush too, which makes it even funnier. Boy, I don't remember when that came out, but I don't care. You shouldn't care. 2004, yeah, that's right. American Idiot.

I think it was on the same album. Oh yeah, it is the album. I'm the American Idiot. It's good to know. I mean, we knew. Also, we're returning to self-awareness. I feel like to have self-deprecating humor, you have to have some level of self-awareness.

Oh yeah, no, I mean, I'm very self-aware. A lot of people I know that hate self-deprecating humor are just not self-aware at all. But I feel like you should wanna love yourself, but I also feel like the best kind of love, like you have a good friend, like a a good friend or like really close family member you aren't like you're sweet like look at this idiot this big dummy and it's like I know I can trust you to mock me a little cuz we're friends that's good friendship

well it is good friendship yes a little abuse between friends never hurt anyone. Yeah, that never happens in the YouTube streamer team. Does not at all, never. I wouldn't know about that. Yeah, never. No multiple people for like the YouTube stream. Yeah, yeah. So I am curious curious when it comes to

You know your own self-awareness and what you're doing, okay? How does that connect to you owning? 50 billion warhammer 40k rats I Mean I don't have to relate to self-awareness at all. I think it does why I think I'm wondering if you consider yourself some sort of rat. Like you surround yourself with other, like you've gravitated towards rats. Because you see yourself as some sort of rat man. Well I have a lot of skaven, but I also have a lot of other things. Like what? I have like 18 armies. Right, but you, every time you, it's a lot.

Every time you talk about it, you talk about like little rat men, or little tiny lizard men. And I'm wondering, in your mind, do you see yourself in your mind's eye? Are you some sort of little tiny critter? That like scampers around and goes like yes master. You're like No, but but if you could be one I can see that I have similar traits Do those yeah Yeah, I can also see that people would see that and think I'm insane because I have like crates of Warhammer. Granted half of it they sent me for free because I'm part of the cool kid program and so yeah but you also

have to like you know actually build it and show it off in order to have them send you stuff. So I've had other people, they're like, dude, I want free Warhammer. And they're like, I sent them a message, they didn't give me anything. I'm like, you don't build anything yet or paint anything. And they're just like, yeah, I don't know,

I just want free stuff. He's talking about me. I just want it. This goes back to the Jesse Cox theory of orgies. I just, I would like to be invited. I don't want to attend because I feel like I was going to be standing in the corner the entire night. But I'd like to be invited so I can say no.

Then I'm known as the no orgy guy and they're going to be like, what's he doing that's more important than this orgy? Yeah, so I'm saying I want to be invited to things, but I don't want to go to things right yeah But then people stop inviting you if you don't go and it's like come on at least pretend for me You know so you just never want to miss out on anything never But I also am fine missing out. You know I mean you're not no no I want it like Hey, man. Well come on over. I'm like, sorry, I'm being cooler than you tonight. OK.

You want to be invited, but you don't want to attend anything. Right. And that's all you want? Yes. OK. I see. All the time. Like, I want to be flooded with invites.

Like, oh, I'm so busy. But really, it's just like me, like, dude, you see this TV show that no one wants. Have you watched Hot Frosty yet? It's a great movie. Yeah and every time I'm like, gotta watch Hot Frosty dude. Like is that what you were doing instead of attending the orgy? I'm like yes.

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I think it's time. We are at chapter seven of the sky with CREor. Crandor has that trolley out there. Oh, god. Normally, we have the table here. We haven't got a table. I'm just going to go over here. This is actually kind of like you're in a helicopter back here.

It's like a bunch of buttons. I can't do it this that long. Yeah. Right now, we're in the plane chopter copter here we're flying down and yeah it's a it's a different kind of chopter copter they had to swap this one out just because you know we're normally not this busy but it's the holiday season they you know you just know how it is everybody's busy around this time so I mean it's pretty crowded traffic wise getting here

there's like man it took like twice the amount of time is Friday rush hour as well so it's just it takes a while there was this very angry very angry bald Polish man that cut us off he he stared us down in the mirror all because we would not turn at a red light where the traffic was already blocked up And we were like dude We can't go anywhere And then we go to turn and he literally cuts us off and then goes into oncoming traffic to turn down To the other street he was gonna go down, so I'm sure he's having a great time seems like a really nice guy and

Back to you. Thanks gredor. That's true. That did happen. Yeah, that was incredible It was great He was pissed. He was really mad. He was screaming at us from his van. He was like There's nowhere to go. No, we're people that just honk in Russia. It's like where you going? You're not going anywhere. Nobody's going anywhere He was he was going somewhere yeah that man at places to be yeah all right well let's go to weather yeah well all right hold on yeah don't worry I'll wait pull them out all right well first we have to pull out woppy yeah we got Woppy back here.

Woppy, Woppy, Woppy. It's a machine. It doesn't understand. You can call Woppy. Wow, here he is. Excuse me, Woppy. Woppy activated. Current location, Chicago.

26 degrees Fahrenheit, today, 35, Saturday, 25, Sunday, 33, Monday, 39, Tuesday, Thursday 41, Friday rain 44. Is that New Year's? Oh wait, that is the next week. Moon phase. Waxing? Waning gibbous. 16 mile visibility, 77 humidity. Feels like 11 sunrise.

11 what, Woppy? 715 a.m. sunset for 22 p.m. UV index zero. What? Yeah, kick him and shut him off. It's a weird thing. All right, welcome back. Wait, hold on. What is this? Another moonphase update? Come on. It's another moon phase update. Bring us your findings. Every time we get these amazing updates and every every time it is a fool-ass sheet of every single weather report we've ever done. Yep. And what the moon phase was at the time. We're like the farmers' almanac. I must stress to you and I mean

this in the nicest way possible my eyes are not good enough to read this. This is the smallest. I don't know why it didn't come out right this time. What? Why are they trying to say? Hold on. Why is one of the moon phases green? Why?

Answer me, moon man. It's green. Because that's the episode I started doing this on. Like go. Like go. Like green like go. I just needed an affirmative. You were just like... Yo, we didn't even get a moon phase last show.

What do you mean? Last... It says lost live show. Moon... I do remember yelling at him. Yeah, yeah. He didn't believe in the moon phase. Yeah, he didn't believe in the moon phase. Yeah, he didn't believe in the moon phase. We had to take him out. Yeah. That was it. He's gone.

He went to Vietnam. Oh. You know, actually, I hope that's going well for him. For some reason, I flashed back to the 60s. I was like, oh no. Are you okay? I don't know why I was like, oh no. I'm sure it's lovely.

I was like, oh. That's very nice. That's very sweet. A Venn diagram? Ruin days of my life. We literally did ask you to do this on a show, and it's so funny that you did. Oh yeah. Ruin days of my life,

and days when a new cox and grendor drops. And what is the, what is, I literally cannot read what that says in the middle. It says 264 days ruined because they didn't mention the moon phase. Every time they don't mention it, I get disappointed. Oh! I mentioned the moon phase. Every time they don't mention it, I get disappointed.

I get disappointed. We almost had a year's worth of disappointing you. And you stuck around? I came to a live show. Multiple times came to a live show. What were you feeling? What were you feeling at that time? Yeah, did we let you down? Were you like bad parents? What happened?

Fair enough. That's the one thing I'm here for. Yeah. So what? What? Hold on, can can we read these random facts? Can anyone, is anyone able to read the smallest font ever printed on a piece of paper? Do you think you can try? I'm gonna need someone who doesn't have glasses because I frankly just don't trust you. Moon facts.

Hold. All right, yeah, come on, come on, come on. Sarah can do it. Hold on, hold on, hold on. What are the facts? Hold on. Random on, hold on. What are the facts? Random facts? This all started because of episode 289 when Jesse questioned Krendor and why he mentioned the moon phase during the weather. Krendor is currently on an 88 episode streak mentioning the moon phase, which is also the longest streak to date.

The longest chain not mentioning the moon phase was 230 episodes. Starting with episode 13 and ending with episode 243 or in other words September 15th, 2013 to June 15th, 2020. The first time the moon phase was mentioned, episode 3, was also the earliest it's been mentioned on an episode at 12 minutes and 26 seconds. The latest, the latest the moon phase was mentioned was in episode 438 at 69. Nice. I apologize. It was in parentheses. Nice. Minutes and six seconds. The secret to finding the moon phase is to go about 75% of the way through an episode, which

is typically when weather comes up. I only made the Venn diagram after Jesse challenged me to come up with a new graph, which I procrastinated on making until two days before this show. It was finals week right now, so I totally feel you. Not a fact, but I want to give a shout out to Mr. Robert Mann on YouTube, who comments with the weather location,

making this easier for me to do. That was lovely. Wow. That was amazing. Yeah. OK. I guess now I'm on this side of the stage. Yeah, do a little swap.

Great. We can swap. Also, we've been doing this show like 12 years. Yeah. It's a long ass time. Since 2012. And still not any better at this. Maybe worse.

You would think we'd have learned to do one of these shows. But really, no. We haven't. I think it's time. We skipping sports? We go to sports. Oh, OK. Sports. Notre Dame is beating IU Indiana. It's 14-0, second quarter. They can come back. It's not looking good for them.

It's fine, they can come back. Yeah, there's, let's see, NFL. There's no NFL games today. NFC North looking great. Go everybody in the NFC North. Go everybody. They're all good teams. Go everybody. All of them. I'm just happy for the players. All of the good teams are good. Let's see, the 76ers are beating the Hornets.

Nobody cares. You got the Cavaliers are beating the Bucks handily Thunder beating the heat cool any any do I have any good pickleball scores it's winter I don't think they're picking well I guess they're playing inside Sabres Dolan return after missing seven games. Cool. Damn. He's back.

Cool. So cool. That's sports. It's the wintertime. We have no curling updates. There's no Olympics. You're telling me, hold on, hold on. You're telling me that no one's curling right now?

No. What the hell do you people do up there? You're telling me, hold on, hold on. You're telling me that no one's curling right now? No. What the hell do you people do up there? They're hockey. Well like obviously, but other than that. In the winter? You are Canadian, you know better than me.

The winters, they are rough. Cool. Yeah. It's fair enough. Krendor, what is our fact of the day? Oh, god. Why do I keep putting my phone away? I keep looking at you, asking why.

Hold on, we got a good one. Are you just Googling facts? I never do that. We already read all those. We already read them. What, are we going to read them again? Uh, am I going to Reddit? Uh, god.

Pokemon facts, is this Badoof? I think the jury's still odd on that all right here we go these are 27 amazing weird and fun facts 27 we don't need all of them we just need like a good one okay here we go the shortest war only earn up to $220 a day, choose where you work, ready to become a teacher. You can make $220 a day, become a teacher. What the hell just happened to you? They put an ad that came up. It was an ad.

We just had a conversation about self-awareness, and that man started reading, and then, you were like Ron Burgundy. Okay, I know what was happening. I could have clearly clicked the ad off and kept doing it, but the joke is that I read the ad because I was aware that I was reading the ad because nobody's gonna read the ad normally. That's a good joke, pal. That's a good joke. It's like an onion. That's so many layers, like an ogre. Yeah. Some frogs can freeze without dying. Certain frogs, like the wood frog, have a remarkable survival trick. They can freeze solid during the winter with ice forming in their bodies and then thaw out and hop away when the weather warms up. Their special proteins prevent their cells from being damaged by ice.

That's pretty cool. Yeah, do you think we can use that? The rich people probably are. Yeah, I was going to say. Yeah. Into my dream where I have a pretty cool. Yeah, do you think we can use that? The rich people probably are. Yeah, I was going to say. Into my dream where I have a billion dollars. After I throw it at people who reform for me, then I freeze myself for all eternity. And I shall be reborn in the year one billion.

And you thaw it out and hop away. At that point, I am mostly frog. Yeah. Some sort of frog-man hybrid. Yeah. OK. Cool. Great fact.

There you go. Oh, Greedent is such a cutie pie. Although his ability is called Greedy Tail, and I'm kind of here for that. OK. Now comes the part of the show that requires interaction. We need two people who will come to us with tears in their eyes.

Also, no more Jesse Cox, will you have my baby people? We've had like one every time. I'm fine with that. And they talk for like 30 minutes then we get no other questions. And then we're like, all right. And then they never have his babies anyway. So it's a complete waste of time.

Every single time. Have you had any babies from them? No, every time it's like, yo yo I want to bang you and then gone I'm like well you're just playing with my heart now yeah always the bridesmaid never a bride but we need two people who here has an important question that only Crendor and I can answer Crendrendor come with me backstage. I'll give you exactly one minute to decide between you all who's asking the two questions. And if you have to get to know each other! Learn about each other! We're all we have? Is this why you stopped being a teacher? That's not the right... One minute!

60 seconds going now! Sounds like a riot. It's only been 15 seconds. 15 seconds! Oh, they got it. Alright. Wow. Dear illustrious sirs, with tears in my eyes, I come to you with my question. Can you please answer for each other, what would your sacrament for each other be?

So hear me out. Jesus said, this wine represents my blood. This bread represents my body. Krendor, what is Jesse's blood and body? And Jesse, what is Krendor's blood and body? Yep. I am ready to get roasted right now. All right, hit me dude.

There's a lot of ways I could go. Yeah, I'm aware. I am aware. I am aware. I would say your blood is THC. No, that's just in it. What is the pure THC? Like oil. Like oil? Yeah, like THC oil.

Maybe a little CBD in there. Okay, yeah, and my body? Your body is... I don't know where that came from. Irish guy, was that you? Not people. Your body is like the... Yeah?

Hold on, will this give me a little... That's not helping. It is like the souls of everyone you have made laugh. Join together to form your existence. All right. I must stress... But... So when you come to my church...

Now... You drink of pure THC... Yep. And eat laughs it's okay that's the craziest thing I've ever heard it's it's kind of like the Lich King in wow where it's like there must always be a Jesse yeah you like a all of the attention that you seek it forms your body and the good vibes create you but if you lost that you would just melt. Okay.

And then there would just be CBD oil and THC all over the ground. Sure. Yeah. Okay, for you, your blood's easy. Great. The most reasonably priced, yet somehow expensive, red wine that tastes like pure leather. What else? Second profile.

Most, most, it's like the most tannin-y wine that ever was. Alright, yep. But, pretty affordable if you're like, gonna have a good night out. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Your body however, sticks. Oh, 100%. Your body's made of twigs. My body actually is made of sticks. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like brittle sticks. Oh, 100%. Your body's made of twigs. My body actually is made of sticks.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. Like brittle sticks. Yeah. That, you know, it just will break. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Exactly. All right. Look at that. That was easy. Thank you. Thank you. Please notice, this man did the sweetest thing in the world. And I was like, shut up, stick boy. Stupid. Dearest illustrious sirs, with tears in my one functioning eye, I come to you pleading. In the last 2021 live show recording, there was a child that came with his parents

offering to sponsor you at his restaurant. What happened to them? I'm gonna be real about this. I'm gonna call you out. I don't even know what I did. Oh, I do. And it was hilarious. So again, this was a younger gentleman.

And he brought his family. I think it was like mother and grandmother. Yeah, I remember. And he came up and said, if I give you money, will you do an ad read for my family's restaurant? And I was like, no,, man, it's fine, I'll do it for free, dude, like whatever. And he's like, well I have money.

And Quentin was like, I'll take it. And you literally went, put it in your pocket, and they seemed so happy, and I never heard from them again. And I don't know what happened. I don't know where they went. Maybe he was just so happy, and I never heard from them again. And I don't know what happened. I don't know where they went. Maybe he was just so happy I took the money, that's all he needed. I honestly don't even remember taking the money.

I'm not going to lie. You don't know that was her. Just because a random person on a plane groped me a bunch doesn't mean it was her. It doesn't happen, it wasn't. But according to my phone, it does. It's a weird night, man. Okay, thank you so much for those questions.

It was very nice, thank you. Yep. You got your answer, I'm glad you got it. It's been years. I would, if that kid was here right now, I'd be like, yo, let's do this. What's your place called? I'd do it right now.

And then all of us could go there afterwards. Take it over, burn that place to the ground. No, no, Party too hard. The mom would be like, what are they doing here? Who are these people? It's all Crendor's fault. Thank you! That kid might have been an industry plant.

For all we know. Yeah, could have been an industry plant. That happens to us so often. The industry comes to get us. All I'm saying is never come back. The industry. It happens to us so often. The industry comes to get us. All I'm saying is never come back. All right. Well, Crendor.

Yep. What is our big news story of the day? That's a good question. Don't worry. I'll wait. All right. Baby pigs, plural, get Christmas pardon from Florida mayor in a Cuban twist on White House turkey tradition.

from Florida mayor in a Cuban twist on White House turkey tradition. Are we gonna learn like a Cubano sandwiches like straight up just like a holiday tradition? Oh really? But they're so delicious dude. Hell yeah you're not gonna part of that little bastard. He's gonna be delicious. Were you the person? It might have been Alex. Someone's telling me that there's an episode of that show that Gordon Ramsay has where he's on a farm. And in one of the episodes,

I guess maybe the course of a season, he and his daughters raise two pigs with the sole purpose that they have to eat them at the end. It's the darkest shit I've ever seen. and he and his daughters raise two pigs with the sole purpose that they have to eat them at the end. Oh. It's the darkest shit I've ever seen. The pigs are so cute and the girls, Gordon cries. Gordon Ramsay cried, it was crazy. Dude, that's like a Mr. Beast video too.

He'd be like, I'll give you $100,000 to eat that pig right now. I'm gonna give you $100,000 to eat that pig right now. As the stars of Friday's show in downtown Miami, Baby Pigs, Glinda and Alfaba will never have... They did not name them after Wicked. Oh, yeah. You're right. Will never have to worry about gracing the dinner table.

Because it became popular, I know. I know how this works, yeah. Will not have to worry about gracing the dinner table. Because it became popular. I know. I know how this works. Yeah. We'll not have to worry about gracing the dinner table at the Cuban American Family's Home on Christmas Eve. Public pardons for the two pigs were granted by the Mayor of Miami, Dade County, Daniela Levine Cava, in a seven-year South Florida riff on the White House tradition of pardoning

turkeys at Thanksgiving. The four-month-old pigs named after the good and wicked witches in the musical Wicked will live out their expected 12 to 15 years at an animal sanctuary, unlike the other pigs. Glenda and Elphaba didn't seem too interested in the ceremony or the crowd surrounding them. Hold on, what is she even saying? Same thing. You know, I always say you know how to know how correctly you are pronouncing something? People will tell you. Just say it in a YouTube video. Yeah. And people will tell you. They'll let you know. Yeah. Who?

Theater's for dorks. I would never, I would never do that. They didn't seem They didn't seem too interested in the ceremony or the crowd surrounding their makeshift pen outside the Latin Cafe 2000. It's called the Latin Cafe 2000. It needs the 2000. Latin Cafe sucks. Latin Cafe 2000, here's the question. Is it text or numbers? Numbers.

Hell yeah. Do you think that place has been open a long time? Or was it founded in the year 2000? Or is 2000 just a really cool number? It's a pretty cool number, yeah. But it might have been also fake. Yeah, a little bit of both. Or maybe it was in like, they made it in 1985, thinking to the future.

Sure. The restaurant that created the sponsor is the event. Cool, thanks, bud. The tan and black pair, about the size of pudgy beagles, hog down apple and orange slices when offered. Otherwise, they seem determined to find some way to nibble on the plastic grass lining of their enclosure. It's like they're pigs. If not for the part, then they could have joined the

thousands of their kind that will be barbecued all on Tuesday in an underground pit on spits or in special metal boxes by families in Cuba, South Florida, and elsewhere. This became like the darkest tale. What do you mean? The holidays? Hold on, wait, hold on. We have a genuine question. They were part of because of what?

I would like to think so. I would like to think there was a whole other group of like poorly named pigs. And they were like, well these two are named, and it's very thematic of recent events. So they'll be safe. But Steve, little oinker, Porky Pie, you're dinner tomorrow, baby.

Yeah. Porky Pie was the cutest one too. He had kind of like a bum eye. And looked over this way. And he had little cheeks. Those cheeks were delicious. Eric Castellanos, the Latin Cafe 2000's owner, said the event started out as a joke among the staff after seeing a new story about the Thanksgiving pardon because we really don't eat turkey here we eat pork so we looked at each other and said hey

we should do this and they did it Castellanos two kids Rico and Alessandra were in charge of picking out the piglet names oh there you go yep Abby Erks Erkess Erks who moved to Miami four months ago is one of the few dozen people who stopped to see them and watch their ceremony. Quote, I'm from the Midwest, so I have been to my fair share of farms and seen a variety of different types of pigs,

but these are cute ones. One of my best friends has lived here her whole life, and she's been kinda teaching me about Cuban culture, Latin culture, and the things I need to be a full Miamian. After the ceremony, they were driven to their new home, the 12th and 13th, to receive pardons over the years. And that's it. The more you read that story, the darker it got.

Yeah. In a way that, but also hilariously is just like this show. Yes. And they were like, we should do this thing because we can do it. Yeah. And then two piglets got to have a good time

they did here's my question out of the two pigs yeah are you more of an Elphaba or like a like a Glinda that's. Well, there it is. Yeah, done. The audience chose. Yeah, alright. Well. Yep. Sit tight, or don't. Go get a drink. Go buy a lovely ornament.

Do whatever makes you happy. In about 15 minutes, we shall return with Chiluminati. We'll see you then, sit tight.