Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 84 - The Interstellarcast
Episode Date: December 3, 2014DO NOT LISTEN IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE OR CARE ABOUT SPOILERS. As promised, Jesse and Crendor have both seen Interstellar and now proceed to spoil the movie and talk about it way too long. ...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello everybody and welcome to a very special Up and up, next friend of the morning! Up and up, next friend of the morning!
Hello everybody and welcome to a very special Cox and Grendor.
This is special.
Why is it special, Grendor? I'm curious why you think it's special.
I think it's special because every year, every person has a day where they just know it's that feeling that you
get.
And you just, you know.
Have you forgotten what this episode's about?
No.
Uh-huh. And?
Hold on, I got some cookie cocoa
swirl butter. Uh-huh, that is
not what this episode's about at all. I'm gonna try
it right now. Great. We're
off to a fantastic start.
This is riveting is what this is.
Yes, what does it taste like, Crandor?
Cookie butter, but a little bit of chocolate.
Wow, that is quality entertainment right there.
I like it.
No, dum-dum, this episode, it's our Interstellar episode.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, dumb dumb, this episode, it's our Interstellar episode. Oh yeah.
Yeah, so, spoiler alert, if you have not seen Interstellar yet, walk away. Go watch
it or don't watch it, but this episode ain't for you.
This is a special episode we're gonna be
spoiling like crazy. I feel like a lot of people
have seen it now though.
I wanna know Crendor's amazing theories,
I wanna know everything you thought, but I also
wanna let him know some
important things I think he spoiled for me right off the bat.
But anyway.
Okay.
Starting right now.
Starting right now.
Spoilers on.
If you continue to listen, you're listening at your own discretion.
Yes.
This is the Interstellar Cox Crenner Podcast.
All right.
Let's do this thing.
Do it.
So Crenner saw it first.
He spoiled something.
He didn't spoil anything, but he hinted like Half way through the movie Things gonna happen
And it's gonna change
How you see the movie
And it's gonna
Right
And so
Of course
When the movie started
I immediately knew
What the twist was
Immediately
Because Crandor saying that
I was like
Son of a
What did you know
You already knew the twist
Yes
I already knew it
Immediately
When it first started happening
So let's set up the premise
Okay
So it's the future
The guy from 30 Rock From the Okay. So it's the future.
The guy from 30 Rock from the Sun is basically us in the future.
He's like when we would be old.
Yeah. And so Matthew McConaughey is our children, and then the girl and the son are our grandchildren, let's say.
Yeah.
So in this future, the world is, there's obviously something horrible has happened.
We don't know what
but as a result there's a a blight that's eating up all the crops and there's all these different
famines and diseases and shit there's dust everywhere it's like the dust bowl it's like
the 1930s in america it's not going too well it's a mess and just to show you how crazy it is they
even give you a scene of how his son,
Matthew McConaughey wants his son to become an engineer, do something good with his life, and go to college.
And they're like, look, no, he placed out of that.
He's going to be a farmer.
And they're like, he's 15.
It's like, it doesn't matter.
He's going to be a farmer.
It is.
And it's like, we don't need engineers.
We need farmers.
We need to keep ourselves alive.
And it's like, we don't need engineers, we need farmers, we need to keep ourselves alive.
Anyway, the story starts getting interesting when his daughter starts to get weird messages from a ghost.
Strange things where somehow she decides she's going to interpret these messages.
And at first she thinks it's different codes, and then it turns out to be binary and all sorts of different things.
And it's like books are getting pushed off a bookshelf and weird things are happening to her yeah and so of course math mcconaughey is like it's not a ghost there's no such thing as ghosts and he gives a
whole speech that i didn't realize till later was very profound about he talks to his daughter about
how like you know parents are the once the children are born parents are their ghosts and live on in their memories
right yeah which is which is think about it crendor well that line that line man i was like what
so um yeah anyway all these things when they finally get like what the binary means and stuff
it's coordinates and it takes them of course to the secret research facilities of nasa which is
you know nasa's had to go underground because the world wouldn't tolerate.
As people die, the government, you know, people would revolt if they knew that money was still being spent on NASA.
And Michael Caine runs NASA along with, oh, what's her name?
You know, the super hot, dark-haired actress that I want to marry me.
Oh, Anne Hathaway. you know and hathaway yeah and hathaway so and she is uh his daughter i believe i think
yeah she is and so they are all planning this mission into apparently at the same apparently
all these coincidences are happening apparently they're very curious how they discovered them because these they, which they term as, like, extra-dimensional beings, are working with them somehow.
Like, they opened a portal into, like, they opened a wormhole near Saturn.
They've done all these different things to help them.
And they're like, clearly, they have brought you to us.
And Matthew McConaughey's like, who the hell is these people?
So, of course, what happens then is he's informed that this is the last generation for humanity.
And that really what this means is that we have to do one last desperate mission.
Ten years ago, twelve scientists were sent into space through this wormhole to find habitable planets.
And three of them sent back messages that, hey, we found some stuff.
And so they go, they're going to send one last mission with a plan A or plan B to go and save the human race.
Plan A is one of the three planets is good.
They come back.
They save the human race. Plan A is, one of the three planets is good, they come back, they save the human race, end of story. Plan B is, they get there, and on their ship is going to be a bunch
of embryos, fertilized eggs I think it is, and they're going to reseed the human population
elsewhere and let Earth die. And that's plan B. But at least the species will continue.
And so, Matthew McConaughey, who just happens be like the best pilot there ever was, he's going to get to fly this mission.
And he's like, it's fate, man.
You were brought to us.
They brought you to us.
And so the plot from there is Anne Hathaway and nameless skinny dude and nameless black dude who are with them who are obviously red shirts.
And two robots, well, one robot robot uh tars goes with them and uh when they get aboard
the space station to launch and to save the world uh they meet cars as well and so tars and cars
that are two friends tars and tars is like a wisecracking robot who's like comedy settings
at 90 or something wacky like that and he's like, he's like going to go see the future planet for my human servants,
you know, something like that.
Yeah.
And then cars, he's like, yeah, okay, sure.
Whatever, whatever, I'll do it.
But I love those robots.
I thought they were great.
Yeah.
So they go off into this thing.
And before he leaves, he goes to his son.
And his son's cool with him going off to save the world.
His son's very independent.
He's like, you know what?
I got it.
His daughter, though, doesn't want to see him.
She hates him for leaving.
And he gives her a watch, and he says, my watch is time to your watch, and I'll be, you know, going, like, near a black hole.
So when I come back, my watch will be different from yours.
And he's like, who knows?
When I get back, maybe you'll be my age, right?
Yeah.
And she, like, freaks out at him because that's an awful thing to tell a kid.
I know.
And she loses her shit.
And so he goes off into this mission and goes through the wormhole.
And it's really trippy and cool and great.
And so the first thing they do when they arrive is they discover that the three planets that are there, one is very, very close.
But the problem with the one that's very very close is that is very close to
a black hole and if they land on the planet the time dilation there will make it so every hour
on the planet is roughly like 10 years something like seven years yeah like back on earth and so
they devise this plan to go to the far side of the planet to reduce the time dilation between
the guy who's going to stay on the ship and the three who are going to go down.
So he can put himself in stasis and wake up when they come back.
Right.
And so they can do this whole thing.
And their plan is to make it very, very quick.
Get down quick.
Get back.
See if it's habitable and get out of there.
Because Matthew McConaughey doesn't want to get, you know, doesn't want time to pass because back on Earth, time will still be normal.
But for them, it'll be like really slowed down yeah and so they don't want that but there's two other planets and
they debate whether they should go there or not and one planet has the guy who uh anne hathaway
loves as it's revealed later in the movie she loves she she loved him and she wants to go to
that planet to make sure he's okay but it's the furthest one. And then the second furthest one,
it would take a lot of time and burn a lot of fuel,
so they just decide, you know what, we're here, let's go to this one.
So they go to this planet, which I will admit is very, very cool.
It's a very cool, like, it's a water planet,
but the water's only up to maybe, like, their ankles?
Well, do you talk about the scientists that, like, went to these planets before?
Oh, um, yeah, there were 12, I mentioned it,
there were 12 scientists who went off to these planets, and each one went to 12 different planets by Oh, yeah, there were 12, I mentioned it, there were 12 scientists
who went off to these planets
and each one went to
12 different planets
by themselves
in a little capsule thing
and they were going to
have a base there
and what was going to happen,
the idea was
they would sacrifice
themselves for humanity
and the ones that found
good places would send
back a thumbs up
and we'd send people
to go inspect the colony
and then ones that didn't
would send back a negative
that it wasn't habitable, and they would just die there.
They would give up their lives and be like,
nope, you can't come to this planet.
And so only three came back as habitable.
And so this first one they went to is a water planet.
When they land, it's very cool,
and it's this little tiny bit of water on the ground.
And they find the shuttle,
but it's completely destroyed and wrecked it's a mess and that's when they notice that the giant mountains in the
background are actually waves coming at them and so when they notice that one's that one's moving
away they turn around and of course because none of them know this there's a giant fucking wave
like right above them about to hit them and so anne hathaway like really screws up and because
she's trying to get this information and see if it's like worthwhile and uh and so tars like runs
out like a fucking like robo dog it's basically the robots in this are like slates they can
transform into anything it's awesome and so he picks her up and saves her but of course red shirt
guy dies uh he's literally right by the door but he's like so busy watching this giant wave.
He gets killed by it.
And then TARS is just like, I will protect you humans.
Yeah.
He's like, he's like, sorry, Anne Hathaway.
So he closed it.
They closed the thing.
They save Anne Hathaway.
They close the thing.
But because they get hit by the wave, it knocks out the engines.
And so it's going to take an hour for it to flush out
the engines. And so basically that is something like 20 years, something insane like that back
on earth. So he loses two or three decades with his kids because of this one mess up,
which I thought was, I thought that was really cool. I'm not going to lie. That was very cool.
And so another wave's coming. They have this talk where she just is losing her shit she's like
i'm sorry i screwed up and i messed up and he's yelling at her and so they um finally get back
in the ship and they they managed to make it out of there before another wave hits them they get
back to the space station they find the guy who was up there the black dude who was up there has
now aged like i don't know how many years he put himself into sleep but he's like you've been gone
for years and years and years.
He's aged like 20-something years.
He's been on that space station by himself forever,
and so he looks like frazzled as shit.
But he had cars there to keep him company, but he's just a mess.
And so they basically discuss what they can do,
and the option is go to this planet that's really close to them
or go to this planet that's very far away.
And Anne Hathaway wants to go to the faraway planet
because she wants to see the man she loves and make sure he's all right.
And Matthew McConaughey is like, basically, even though he does it very nicely, he's like, fuck you.
You ruined my life with my kids.
Because when he gets back, he sees the transmissions they've been sending.
Because they've been gone so long, they haven't been able to send transmissions back.
But they've still been getting transmissions.
And his daughter doesn't want to talk to him. But you find out that his son has been like his son had a kid
his son had a kid who then died right like the kid who died by their name was jesse which was
really funny because i'm in the theater with my mom and she's like poking me she's like the baby's
name is jesse and then it's like jesse died i'm like no and so like like and then they have another
kid and so like the son keeps aging and so now he's like in his 30s and the son's basically like No! And so, like, and then they have another kid.
And so, like, the son keeps aging.
And so now he's, like, in his 30s. And the son's basically like, I don't think you're alive anymore.
He's like, I'm going to say goodbye, Dad.
And he's like, you know, wherever you're at, you know, I hope you have peace.
And Matthew McConaughey's, like, crying and stuff.
And then for the first time ever, his daughter comes on.
And his daughter's basically like, F you, you asshole.
Like, you told me when you got back that you would be my age.
Well, guess what?
I'm your age now when you left.
And like, F you.
And she's furious with him.
And then it cuts back to Earth.
And you learn that she has been working with Michael Caine, who took her in, as you learn earlier in the movie, took her in to become a scientist and work at NASA.
Because here's the the
the thing i missed earlier um plan a and plan b right the plan b was to seed another colony
off world and let earth die but plan a is come back to earth and then they get everyone off in
this giant space vehicle that they're going to build the problem is they haven't figured out
gravity yet and like how to like work repulsors and shit and so michael cain's big life goal is to figure out gravity he makes a promise like by the time you get back
i will have figured this out yeah so he hires her to come work for him and so she and strangely
enough tophor grace are in this and and she she and that 70s show guy are like his two friends
and they are trying to solve this equation and so you see that like back
and forth and and how they're working together to figure it out and she is you know just trying her
hardest to do it all and their relationship with her brother her brother's become like a
guz ball because he like just doesn't care and he's trying to keep his crops alive and he like
his family's sick and it i don't know if it's implying that he beats his family but i feel like it was implying that maybe i feel like it was implying that and so what
happens then is then goes back to the other side of the the universe this galaxy and they have
decided they're going to go and go to this close planet so when they land and what may be the best
reveal this is my favorite part of the movie, I'm going to be honest, was this
planet is, like the clouds
are so thick and cold
that they're like jagged ice
crystals above you, and then below you
is like jagged ice mountains. So it looks like
you're going between two different worlds.
Have you ever saw the trailer? Right?
It looks like that. And so they fly through,
they land, and they get the thumbs up
signal, and they see that the colony is still intact.
And they walk in.
And they open up the stasis chamber.
And, of course, it's Matt Damon.
Which is, that might have been my favorite part of the movie.
I was like, what?
And so he tells them that, you know, thanks so much.
This was, you know, I'm so happy to say.
I haven't seen a human face in forever.
It's like, pray you never know what it's like to see it, you know, not to see a human face or whatever.
And so he tells them that he's found this amazing world and that there's great stuff down below.
And the temperature is just right.
They're up in the mountains now, but like down at sea level, it's great.
And he can't wait to show them all.
And so they start bringing down all the colony stuff.
Meanwhile, back up in the space station or back on Earth, Michael Caine's character dies.
And he tells, because so much time has already passed, right?
Yeah.
Michael Caine's character tells the daughter that she, basically, gravity was a lie.
Like, this search for gravity was all a lie.
Yeah.
And that he was doing it as sort of like a last best hope but it was more to keep hope alive
for people on earth so that no one knew right if everyone was focused on saving themselves they
would do it but if they were focused on saving the species they wouldn't right like that was the big
lie he was telling everyone like people would be invested in saving themselves but no one would
give a shit if it was like to save people that didn't even exist yet And so There was no plan A, plan A was a lie
And plan B was the big secret
And so that gets beamed
To
What's his face? To their ship
And then TARS and CARS teleport it down to
The thing
Whatever the fuck that is
The like habitat thing
Yeah the planet
And that's beamed to Anne Hathaway And the uh uh the like habitat thing yeah the planet they're on and that's that's
beamed to ann hathaway and uh the rest of the crew and ann hathaway it's like i promise you i did not
know i did not know this was real and math mcconaughey is like furious and then uh uh oh my
god my brain just died not not ben affleck the other one. Matt Damon. Matt Damon, thank you. Matt Damon.
Matt Damon's like, I knew.
And so that's the big twist with this movie.
But there's a bigger twist, but that's the big halfway twist.
And so what happens then, the last hour and a half of this movie is all twists.
By the way, it's like a three-hour movie, so we're about halfway through.
The last half of this movie is all twists.
And this, I think, is where Crandor lost his mind.
I happen to love it, but whatever.
I thought it was great.
So what happens – so how do I even describe this?
So what happens then from that point is you learn that like Matt Damon –
Matt Damon and – fucking Ben Affleck.
He's not even in this movie.
Matt Damon and Matthew McConaughey go out for a walk because they're going to go down and see the sea level.
And Matt Damon's robot is all, like, ripped apart.
And he tells the lie that it was, like, started to erode and so he scrapped it for parts.
But you discover as they're walking that Matt Damon really was just, he lost his mind, basically.
Like, when he landed on the planet and realized it was all ice and all inhabitable, he't want to die there so he sent back a thumbs up signal in the hopes that he'd be rescued
one day and it was all a lie like he's just a big coward and he's like i'm really really sorry
like and so he tries to kill matthew mcconaughey and he like cracks his helmet and stuff and then
he's he sets it so that his like i don't even know how it happens but his robot is set to like
explode and it blows up the black dude and tars barely know how it happens, but his robot is set to, like, explode,
and it blows up the black dude,
and TARS barely makes it out alive.
Or maybe it was CARS, one of the two,
barely makes it out, for a robot,
barely makes it out alive.
And Matt Damon steals one of their ships,
one of their little landing craft,
and goes back up to the ship,
and he's gonna get out of there.
He's gonna go back to Earth and get the fuck out of there.
And so Anne Hathaway goes and barely just in time saves Matthew McConaughey from suffocating to death.
And the two of them go after Matt Damon.
And they're like, don't you do it.
And Matt Damon turns off the switch.
And TARS is like, yeah, no, I turned off the auto connector.
So he can't even connect to the ship.
And they're like, well, he's going to try it anyway.
And so, of course, what happens is he tries to connect, and he opens the airlock, and literally just –
And, like, one of those jump moments.
Yeah.
Everyone there was like, oh, shit, because it comes out of nowhere.
Because it's him trying repeatedly to connect to the ship, and it just doesn't work.
And then he's about to give, like, one of those evil villain speeches, and just as he starts, he gets sucked out the fucking airline.
It's, like, it's weird because it's in space, and it's really quiet, too,
so it's all silent, and it's just like, brr.
And so then the main ship starts spinning wildly out of control,
and so they start to spin with it, and it's a really tense scene
where they're, like, trying to connect to the ship while it's spinning,
and they're spinning, and TARS and CARS and everyone is working together
to try to get this thing hooked up, And they finally manage to get it hooked.
And just then, they manage to slow it down.
And they get up in the ship and they realize that the egg embryos are fine.
But they don't have enough fuel to either.
Like, the best they can do is get halfway to the other planet.
But they can't get home either.
So, they're screwed.
And the only thing that they can do is a theory that they had earlier.
Which was maybe the black dude wanted to go explore the black hole yeah and learn about gravity and so
matthew mcconaughey is basically like okay we fucked earth we fucked ourselves there's nothing
we can do maybe we can go to the black hole get information send it back through to earth about
you know the gravitational stuff and they can use that to save themselves.
And Anne Hathaway is like, yeah, sure, cool.
And the plan is they're going to send TARS into the black hole
to transmit the information back,
and then Anne Hathaway and Matthew McConaughey
are going to blast off to the other planet
using the gravitational force of the black hole
to slingshot them to this other planet,
and they're going to seed life there.
Like, that's their plan.
Meanwhile, back on Earth.
Oh, my God, so much is happening.
Meanwhile, back on Earth,
the sister and Topher Grace are trying to, like,
get the brother's family checked up
because they're all sick, right,
from this dust and all these different diseases.
And he's like, you have to leave now.
Your kids are not doing well.
And so the brother won't give in.
And so the brother, like,
Topher Grace and the daughter go and burn down like some of the brother's last remaining corn crops.
Because at this point, corn is the only thing that's left to harvest on Earth.
Right.
And so they're burning down some of the crop.
And so he runs out there to stop it.
And so they try to get the wife and the son onto into their car and get the hell out of there.
They're like, we got to get out. We got to get out of here.
This is great.
And so meanwhile, the daughter ends up in her old room
where all this began.
And she sees the watch and she starts having flashbacks and stuff.
And so she's in that room at this moment.
And it's like this huge epic, you know, it's all ending.
And so it goes back to the other side of the galaxy.
By the way, if you're still with us, God bless you.
It goes back to the other side of the galaxy.
By the way, if you're still with us, God bless you.
It goes back to the other side of the galaxy.
And at that point, they're going towards the black hole.
It's really cool, very visual, and probably awful for a podcast.
And they're going towards the black hole.
And they jettison TARS and his little spacecraft so they can get some propulsion.
And then, of course, Matthew McConaughey sacrifices himself to save Anne Hathaway.
Who will then blast off to this other planet and seed the future.
And so TARS, so Cars and Anne Hathaway shoot off in the distance.
She's like, no, don't do it.
And he, Matthew McConaughey and TARS go into the black hole.
And then you get this trippy ass scene where he's like in a black hole.
And light like fades.
And then all of a sudden there's like shit hitting his thing.
And at this point it goes pretty much 2001 Space Odyssey where his ship just explodes.
No, he ejects.
He ejects, that's right.
He ejects and he's in a black hole.
And suddenly like he starts hitting shit.
And then he finds himself in between time
in a construct of the fifth dimension created by they whoever they are
and he is in like in between time but looking at that room that his daughter's in in every moment
of every time yeah and so to simplify what happens over the next 20 minutes which is very simplified
he he communicates with tars and tARS tells him he has the gravitational readings,
and that he can help,
because he notices by banging on the timelines,
he can change things in that world.
And you discover, of course,
that Matthew McConaughey is in fact the ghost from earlier in the movie,
and that he has been communicating with his daughter,
and everything he's doing is setting up her.
It turns out that Matthew McConaughey is not the hero of the movie, that his daughter is.
She's the one who's going to save mankind.
And so he starts banging on stuff, and he changes the clock to make it so the clock ticks in Morse code, the gravitational equation, all this different shit.
And he realizes, he says something, he says, they are us.
I guess he's talking about future humans.
He's like, don't you get it?
They want us to like live and so tars and him save like like she gets the information because she's in the room at the time and so she's like i got it and so she runs to her
brother and like she's like i'm sorry i burned down your fucking field like i got it though
and they run and they they save mankind and then uh the construct that he's in starts to crumble
and matthew mconaughey like fades to white
And poof he's gone
And next thing you know
Matthew McConaughey is floating in a space suit
Outside the rings of Saturn
And like some ships find him
And it's I don't even know 70 years in the future
Something like that
And there's a space base around Saturn
And a bunch of crazy shit
And humanity has clearly survived
And everything's named after his daughter.
His daughter's very famous.
And they take him to her,
and she is old and on her deathbed,
and she's been waiting, like, for all this to happen.
And so she basically says, like, you know,
no fathers to watch their child die.
Like, I have my children.
You know, you go do your thing.
Go find her.
And so he goes back out to find Anne Hathaway,
who is wherever the hell she is.
And it turns out when they show her that she's already established in a
colony and it could be in the past.
It could like,
no one,
I don't know when the fuck that is.
And that's sort of like how the movie ends.
That's a very oversimplified version of the last 25 minutes of this movie,
but that's pretty much how it ends.
I need to know.
And that wasted 26 minutes of this podcast,
by the way.
Look,
it's a long ass movie look it's a long ass movie
so now that we have that out of the way
Krendor what was your problem
with it? I had multiple problems
with it. First problem
the characters were bad
I remember Matthew McConaughey
Black Guy
Tars, Cars
and
Murph because they force you to remember Murph.
Here's the thing, though.
I think that you remember a lot of the characters.
I mean, that's most of the characters.
I remember them because of their actors, though.
I don't remember them because of their, like, what is Anne Hathaway's character name?
No, here's the thing.
Oh, I don't know.
She's Brand.
She's Brand, whatever her dad's name is.
But, yeah, I think you're right.
I think you're right on the money when it comes to the characters.
I think it's one of those things where it didn't matter what the characters were
because it was supposed to be all about the daughter.
It was one of those visual movies.
Yeah.
Like, 2001 Space Odyssey, everyone remembers Hal.
No one remembers what the humans' names were in that movie.
But everyone knows Hal.
Like, it's, like, and everyone knows the trippy ending with Space Baby and all that shit.
Like, everyone remembers that stuff.
That's true.
I think it's supposed to be along that line.
But I'll give you that one.
I'll give you that one.
But here's the thing.
The characters were still interesting, though.
Like, the black dude who, like, aged a aged a ton and like was really obsessed with science and like he
yeah couldn't like he was freaking out about how like there was a thin piece of metal between them
and space and so matthew mcconaughey gave him the sound of earth headphone things like that was cool
like i like some of the characters of earth sound of Earth. Like the rain noises. Yeah, I definitely think that
Cars and Tars were the best,
like,
they were the best characters
in the movie.
Yeah.
Hands down.
They were the best.
I would say.
I love the little girl actress.
I thought she was fantastic.
Yeah,
she was good.
Young Murph.
Yeah.
And Matt Damon.
And Matt,
dude,
Matt Damon stole the movie for me.
Stole the movie.
The dude came out of nowhere
and I was just like,
what the hell?
I was like,
I knew I saw him from somewhere. I was like, oh yeah, it's Matt Damon. Yeah, when he first pops up hell i was like i knew i saw him from somewhere i was like oh yeah it's matt damon yeah when he first pops up i was like who
the hell is that i was like oh my god it's matt damon and the fact that the twist is he becomes
the bad guy i was like yeah thank god they have a villain in this movie i was like that's awesome
um okay you know what i'll give you half credit for that all right half credit here's the other
part they spent way too long at the start of the
movie setting up the fact that they're like in this place that's gonna be shit out of luck in a
little while i think i think i agree with you on that the problem is without them setting that up
the ending reveal of it being him the entire time would make no sense because if they had one
scene at the beginning where it was like a ghost you wouldn't think much of it but because they
kept having it happen over and over and over again over a long period of time establishing earth like
establishing these characters it made you sort of put the pieces together later on rather than
like it made the reveal more important if it was was just one time, it wouldn't have mattered.
Or if it was just a bunch of clips of, like, ghost things over and over again, that would have been weird, right?
Yeah.
Like, I think in order to pull off the ending, they had to make the beginning long enough so that you could believe the ending.
Because the ending's very far-fetched.
Like, the ending is next-level bonkers.
Yeah.
That makes sense. I didn't think about that.
Because, like, but then in a way, you're, like, extending the beginning of the movie just so black hole is that every moment in the movie that had any mystery, right?
So, like, when Anne Hathaway reaches out and touches, like, this mysterious being, right, when they're traveling through the wormhole, that's actually Matthew McConaughey.
Like, everything that happened in this movie was Matthew McConaughey.
And so Matthew McConaughey is saying, like, they, whoever they are, is, like,
I think in the movie he says they are us in the future.
Yeah.
The one problem I have with that is I could buy it being an alien or being some god figure.
I could buy any of that.
But they being us comes into some time paradox shit.
Because apparently, follow me here, Crandor.
This is what I was talking to my mom about.
My mom was trying to explain this to her and she couldn't grasp it at first.
But now she gets it and she won't let it die.
She's like, that didn't make any sense.
All right, here we go.
If they is us, right?
If they're future fifth dimension versions of us.
So like many millennia out.
And we help them survive by doing all this,
why did they need to help us do it?
That's a paradox, right?
Because in order for the human race to survive to get to that point,
we had to do all the shit that they did in the movie.
But in order to do all the shit they did in the movie,
the human race would have had to survive to get to that point.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.
It doesn't, like, it's, yeah, it one of those Awful movie paradoxes that you're like
None of this makes any sense
Yeah because it's like we need you
To save us but then
They're already saved by
By having them
And it just hit me it just hit me
Unless because they're outside of space time
There are multiverses
And in this universe we're having
Trouble and they go to all universes to help
and so they're from another universe of humans
that made it that far and so they're
helping all the different universes of humans
I mean that's the only way that makes sense
yeah I feel like
it's the only way
they didn't think of that though
I have a feeling that they didn't try to over complicate it
once they got to the part where they were like
yeah no we're in the fifth dimension now like i was actually really hoping
it was like aliens or something well i think i mean it kind of has to be but i like that they
didn't show anything but at the same time like they never showed anything they just left it all
under assumption but um i i the one thing i mean do you have any other problems with it that you can think of?
All right, go for it.
So there's an Anne Hathaway woman.
Are you about to talk about her love speech?
Her love speech is very cheesy.
Well, I mean, it was very cheesy in that she was like, don't you see?
Love, it's beyond emotion.
Like, because the whole premise behind love is that it's to form attachments to further the species.
But then she's like, why do we love people who are dead?
That doesn't help us further the species, right?
And she's like, don't you see, man?
It's beyond.
It's beyond just physicality.
You know, it's like extra dimensional. And I guess it's sort of setting up the end so that he can love.
Like, because he loves his daughter so much
he's in the next dimension but that doesn't make
any sense. I completely ignored that part
and just assumed at the end
the other they
made it happen. I was like love
didn't make that. That's stupid.
That would ruin the movie for me if I assumed that.
But it's like she says all this
and then she's like
I've just never stopped loving this guy on this planet.
I need to go see him instead of doing the like scientifically better option.
Like I didn't get why she would go like, why wouldn't she just go with the scientifically better option?
But she's like, it's because of love.
But then her dad dies later and they tell her and she's just like, oh, well, like what?
Well, I think the way they told her. Unfortunately, I think the way they told her, which's just like oh well. Like what? Like your dad just died.
Unfortunately I think the way they told her which was like
your dad lied to you. Like his entire life was
a lie. Like immediately it's like
your dad died. Oh by the way everything
he told you was a lie. Like I think maybe
that hardened
that moment. But
it was
it was a weird scene.
I think the justification of her saying I want to go see this guy on this planet because I've always loved him,
was because they had just come off that water world and they had lost 20-some years.
30-some years.
That's true.
And she was freaking out because she wanted to see if she'd ever see this guy again.
Yeah.
And she was afraid she wouldn't.
And so, yeah, spoiler for the ending, you see her burying the guy so he definitely died on that planet but of course that planet the one
that she found at the end was habitable and so it shows her bringing down all the pods and so
supposedly starting life there but um yeah i don't i don't it was i guess maybe she was just emotional
like i want to go see this guy. But it did come out of nowhere.
And Matthew McConaughey shoots her down right away because he's like, you fucked me over with my kids.
Screw you.
And then, of course, later on she has a little retribution because when they only have two planets left.
Or, I'm sorry, when they finally get back to the eggs and stuff, she's like, sorry, we got to go seed the the eggs dummy like you know so they have a they have a little back and forth but i thought it was the one thing
i liked was the fact they didn't try to make them a couple yeah that's true i think that worked
really really well in gravity which is a movie i love like i love gravity that's a fantastic
gravity was really good i like and And I like that they didn't try
to force a love story. It was just like two
astronauts who were doing
their job. Like, a love story would never blossom
in that scenario, right? Like, it's one
of those things where every time there's an action movie
or a drama movie
where something horrible's happening,
suddenly the two people fall in love. Like, no!
No! Aliens are fucking attacking
right now. You don't have time for love right like a month an insane killer is on the loose you don't have time for
love get the killer right i think i i like i like that they more and more movies are forgoing that
like they're just saying screw it we don't need that i like that part yeah all right what else
you got what else you got i'm look i'm not gonna lie I kind of like this movie there's a lot
wrong with it but I kind of like it
well that's kind of how I felt like
I didn't I wasn't like oh my god I love
this movie so much but like I
was like it's good maybe I just
expected so what else did you hate maybe I
expected too much out of it what did you
well here's the thing I
apparently love the way
that Christopher Nolan does movies.
And most people are starting to hate it, but I continue to love it.
And I don't know why.
Like, I liked Dark Knight Rises, or whatever that movie was called.
I liked that movie.
It had everything that I wanted from a Batman movie that was in that universe.
Like, the universe he created clearly wasn't going to be the Batman that people wanted it to be by the time it was done.
Right?
Like.
Yeah.
It hit all the notes I wanted.
When I saw Bane and they tried to make it like.
Like even though I knew that Bane couldn't have been Ra's al Ghul's child.
I for a brief moment believed.
And then when they were like oh it's Talia.
I was like Talia al Ghul.
And I had like a whole moment.
It was like.
I love that movie.
People are like Justin that's an awful movie. I don't care what youia, I'll go. And I had like a whole moment. It was like, I love that movie. People are like, Justin, that's an awful movie.
I don't care what you say.
I enjoyed it.
I had a fight at the end.
Dude got shot in the face.
I loved it.
I actually got really bored during that movie.
See?
See, that's what happens.
But I like this.
What's it called?
Inception?
Yeah, I like Inception.
Inception is cool. Inception is a movie that, I don't know.
I feel like he's got crazy ideas and he goes for it.
Like, he doesn't do boring movies.
And some people might find them boring, but his concepts aren't boring.
And I like that.
I like that he sort of pushes the limits of stuff.
And I'm like, you do you.
You have fun, Nolan.
But what else did you hate? Give it to give it to me let's see uh i just felt like the ending how he goes back and meets his
his daughter and she's old and like i would be with my kids whoever i didn't like that i wouldn't
have done it like that i felt like them connecting with the watch was like the peak of their father-daughter bonding experience.
And I would have liked to end it there.
Here's the thing.
We don't need to meet up physically again.
I agree with you.
I think the assumption was that most audience members would want to see them connect again because they made such a big deal out of them not being together. And how they left on such bad terms. I would agree with you i think the assumption was that most audience members would want to see them connect again because they made such a big deal out of them not being together and how they left
on such bad terms i would agree with you if i was gonna make the movie the connection between the
watch and her finally realizing that her dad was out there and still did love her and still did
care for and that he gave her the way to save humanity i think that would be the like that's
the pinnacle relationship moment i agree with. I think the ending bit where it was
he, like,
is in space, then you
see humanity's been saved, and then
you see his daughter, many things.
One, they left out the son. Fuck the son
apparently. No one cares about him.
His story and his kids, who cares about that?
And then
they have this other thing where
it's like, now go find Anne Hathaway.
So he steals a fighter jet, goes off into space to find Anne Hathaway.
The question is, is that wormhole still there?
How can he find Anne Hathaway?
There's so many millions of questions that aren't answered.
And then they flash to Anne Hathaway making her colony.
Question the first.
What year is it there?
Question the second. Is she in the past, present, or colony. Question the first. What year is it there? Question the second.
Is she in the past, present, or future?
Question the third.
She's by herself on that colony with a robot making babies.
How the frick that work?
Right?
Like, there's all the, like, there's so many unanswered questions.
And I feel like if they're going to have unanswered questions,
you should just cut off when the daughter's like,
I solved it, and she does that whole Eureka thing, right? Yeah, Eureka! And she's like i solved it and she does that whole eureka thing right yeah eureka and she's like yeah and she's like it's tradition
she kisses toe for grace and you can assume the two of them are gonna have kids and stuff
like you know they've fallen in love like that was cheesy and like yeah and it's like that you
could literally end that storyline right there and then go back to the dad and have his thing
like where he finally uh you know understands everything was about the daughter and you know she's gonna save the world
and he's so proud of her and he's like he did it and then when all the the bookcase and stuff
start collapsing in on themselves and the white light takes him over and stuff like that could
have been a like boom end of movie yeah end of movie you could end it right there you could have
left what happened to anne hathaway? Boom. No one knows.
That's out in the ether.
What happened to the daughter in humanity?
Boom.
That's out in the ether.
It's the exact same questions.
Exactly.
You assume humanity was saved.
You assume Anne Hathaway is doing whatever the fuck Anne Hathaway is doing.
At least they could have left it open.
Maybe Anne Hathaway found the guy alive.
Maybe she's living on a planet with this dude and they have, like, there's so many.
That could have been the last ten minutes of that movie cut out.
I'm just saying.
Yeah.
I thought that too. I agree with you on that that i agree yeah i think i think the very end
was flawed you got me crendor i agree with you good i got i got something i got like a point
and a half then maybe a point in like three-fourths i'll give you that yeah so what else did you have
i was trying to think i've read a lot of things that were like, why did they place
the wormhole by Saturn?
But I don't,
I'm not science-minded
enough to know that.
Like, I don't know
if they just,
if that's the science thing.
Like, well,
Saturn's a far superior
for wormhole.
Or like,
if it's just like,
we're going to put it
by Saturn for some reason.
So I was like,
why wouldn't they just
put the wormhole
like right by Earth?
I agree.
I don't,
I was thinking about that when I was telling the story to you earlier.
When I was recounting the story for everyone listening, I was thinking about that moment.
I was like, that doesn't necessarily make any sense.
But I don't know that it's a big movie point.
It's like me complaining about stormtroopers being in Star Wars.
It doesn't necessarily matter matter but it's something
that someone who cares about that shit would would care about because like if you put it closer to
earth you can easily get to that that system and you don't waste fuel and you're able to go there
and then come back like but it's a it's like a temporal anomaly so you have to assume things
would happen like if it happen like if something happened
right? Like I don't know
I just don't know
I'm sure
yeah you're right. We aren't science people so we don't necessarily
know the answer to this but you have to assume
there is an answer that makes sense
like if Neil deGrasse Tyson
and those dudes are like I give it a thumbs up
you have to assume it's okay science
at least. Yeah like they are like, I give it a thumbs up. You have to assume it's okay science, at least.
Yeah.
Like, they are like, we accept this.
And I think that, for me at least, the coolest premise of the movie was the black hole science,
which I love that idea.
Because in most movies and shows, when they show a black hole, time slows down, which
is something that everyone just sort of accepts.
But no one really shows the fact that
If time slows down at the black hole
For everyone else time is fine
So if you're stuck at a black hole
You're stuck there
Like time is not passing at all
And
Everyone else time is
Going normally
So if you get out of the black hole
Like the cusp of the black hole
I mean if you get sucked in it you're fucked
But if you get out of the gravity vortex of the black hole But when you get out of the black hole, like the cusp of the black hole, I mean, if you get sucked in it, you're fucked.
But if you get out of like the gravity vortex of the black hole, but when you get out, everything that you know has probably changed.
I think there was one, was it a Star Trek episode?
It was something where a crew of a ship, a spaceship, was trapped in a black hole, like on the edge of a black hole.
And they were sending out distress communications asking for help, but it was like a century old and it was them dying in slow motion.
Like you couldn't help them.
And they were just getting sucked into the black hole in slow motion.
So for them it was real time,
but for everyone else you were watching it like slow-mo as they died,
which I thought was a really cool concept.
And so there was just nothing anyone could do for these people and they just
slowly got sucked into this black hole
and killed. I was like that's awesome
It's so weird. It's like I was trying to
think like that like on this planet
it's going to be seven years on earth
for every hour and I was like
that's an actual thing and I was like
trying to like wrap my mind around
it how that can be a thing and I was just
like. Cause time is relative.
I think that's the...
Yeah, time is relative, man.
So that's why I think everyone can say the science is at least sound and that it makes sense.
We don't know that it's real, but it's scientific theory that makes sense.
No one's actually gone to a black hole.
All this is theorems.
Apparently, if you were to go to a black hole, the gravity would be so intense it would crush you.
Well, I mean, if you went into a black hole, you'd be instantly killed.
But no one knows.
No one knows what happens because no one's gone into a black hole.
Yeah.
But over time, people have changed what they thought a black hole was.
Like, many people before thought it would just crush you.
Right?
But now people are like, oh, you'd probably survive, but you'd be torn apart.
And like,
you wouldn't be crushed.
Your particles would be ripped apart.
Right.
Or some people are like,
some people like,
like a black hole.
Right.
Yeah.
Isn't necessarily a hole.
Like no one knows,
like,
like there's a core to it.
It's like a sphere.
So it's not a black hole.
It's like a sphere in space time or something.
It's so hard to explain,
but before a
lot of people like my assumption as a kid was all right if a black hole is like a circle right what
the where does shit pop out in the back of it like if you get sucked into it shouldn't it go somewhere
i don't know and and i guess the the idea now is well it's you don't go any like it's all like a
spherical like it's contained it's not a hole because it's third dimension look i don't go any, like, it's all, like, a spherical, like, it's contained. It's not a hole because it's third dimension.
Look, I don't even fucking know anymore.
My head hurts.
I can't even think about time, let alone black holes.
Yeah.
But it's a, see, it's a movie that makes you think.
I like that.
I like that.
It's like a smart pop culture movie.
I thought it was nice.
And again, the best characters are the robots because they're really entertaining.
And it had really cool visuals.
Yeah. I liked, the best characters are the robots because they're really entertaining. And it had really cool visuals. Yeah.
I liked all the different planets.
My favorite one, I liked the water planet, but I think the ice planet was the most beautiful.
I liked the way they did that.
Mm-hmm.
I liked that Earth only had corn, so everyone's eating popcorn and corn with all their different foods.
I thought that was pretty great.
I think I'd give it 85 black holes out of 100.
I agree with you.
I'll agree with you on that.
I'll agree with you.
I don't think we need to do a podcast about the Hunger Games movie because that was literally the first half of a movie where nothing happened. Yeah. It was the first half of a movie where nothing happened.
Yeah.
It was the first half of a movie where nothing happened.
It was like Deathly Hallows Part 1 or any other Part 1 movie.
It was all set up and nothing happened.
It was like the second to last episode of a TV show.
It's like, all right, well, next episode, shit's going to go down.
It had some intense parts, but those intense parts are leading up to the next movie.
Yeah, something super intense, right? Yeah. It's like it's all a buildup. It's like, go down. They had some intense parts, but those intense parts are leading up to the next movie. Yeah, something super intense, right?
Yeah, it's like, it's all a buildup.
It's like, oh, come on.
You know what it was?
It was the episode right before season finale.
Yeah.
And you know shit's going to go down in that season finale, but they had to take an episode to build up.
And it was like, eh, all right.
So that's that.
That's our movie review.
Is there anything else you want to talk about with this movie, Grendor?
So that's that.
That's our movie review.
Is there anything else you want to talk about with this movie, Crandor?
Uh, people out there that like Disney stuff, go see Big Hero 6.
I like that movie.
Did you see they're making a prediction right now?
Did you see they're making a Frozen 2?
I did not.
I'm going to predict.
I'm going to predict this right now in front of all of you listening.
Okay.
The reviews will state something along the lines of, not capture the disney magic of the first frozen 2 a little thawed right things like that i imagine i'm just gonna go on a limb and say frozen 2 will not be as good as the first one
frozen 2 has gotten frostbitten yep frozen 2 needs to stay out in the cold
a bit longer. Look, I don't know. It's gonna suck.
Frozen 2 should have stayed
frozen. Frozen 2
will not do well. Why,
you might say? Because Disney sequels have never
done well. Ever. Are there any
Disney sequels that have done well?
No, and most have ended up
direct-to-DVD or video
or VHS.
Oh, man, I know.
What was that one?
The Hunchback?
The Hunchback, the second one?
It was, like, not even...
There wasn't even, like, effort put into it.
It was just, like, shitty graphics.
It's all to capitalize on shit.
Yeah, it's just to capitalize on kids who are excited about
the 12 million Lion King movies,
the three Aladdin movies.
Oh, yeah, no.
All of them were not nearly as good as the first one.
Toy Story 2 and those were pretty good.
That's Pixar, though.
I don't put them in the same category.
Yeah.
Pixar is different.
Pixar kills it.
But also Pixar is people that make cars.
That's also true.
So there you go.
I mean, that's a thing.
Oh, well.
I think you're right.
I mean, there's a couple sequels that are good, but the vast majority are kind of like Monster Zinc University.
That didn't do nearly as well as Monster Zinc.
What happens when Mulan
goes to
frat house?
That would be great, actually.
Mulan, she's a girl?
What?
Whoa, I'm gonna make a man
out of her.
Hey.
Then Mulan
slaps the frat house with a lawsuit.
Mulan 2 took a very weird turn.
The last half of that movie was all legal proceedings.
Yeah.
Very strange.
Who'd have thought?
She's a samurai in life and the courtroom.
Mulan 2.
Electric boogaloo.
Electric boogaloo.
All right.
I think that's it.
Thank you guys for listening to this
very long
drawn out podcast
about Interstellar
but we promised it
for a long time
and we finally did it
so that's
we're done
we're done
we'll be back
to our normal podcast
post haste
and as always
do begin to nude you