Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - Why This Is The Day That Changed EVERYTHING For Me, With Heather! Episode 302
Episode Date: March 8, 2023In This Episode You Will Learn About: How your vulnerability can bring you MORE opportunities in life Why there’s so much POWER in sharing your truth  The magic lightning in a bottle email... that shifted everything!  Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Go to nutrafol.com and save $15 off by using code CONFIDENCE Visit Indeed.com/monahan to start hiring now. Use promo code CONFIDENCE for 15% off sitewide at justthrivehealth.com/discount/Confidence Show Notes: Did you know that International Women’s Day is a super important day for me? Our life can be FULL of surprises, and I truly had no clue how this day would forever change me. I’ll share what this day means to me, and how YOU can be more supportive of the women in your life. Remember, opportunities are around every corner and being your true self is how you bring them in! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Each week, when you join me, we are going to chase down
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I'm ready for my close time.
Hi and welcome back.
I'm so glad you're back here with me this week.
Okay, so this episode is coming out on International Women's Day.
And I want to tell you why that is an important day
in my career.
So cut to, back, gosh, how long ago is it now?
I guess six years ago, I was a chief revenue officer
of a media company.
And on International Women's Day, I'll never forget.
I woke up that morning and I was sent some article
from some outlet.
I read a lot of articles like Forbes, Inc, whatever, you know, just trying to learn different
things.
Anyhow, I see this article and it was about International Women's Day.
And so I go down the rabbit hole, you know, researching it.
And I just thought to myself, you know, wow, I've never done anything as a female leader
of this company with thousands of female employees that work with me for years.
I've never acknowledged International Women's Day. I've never done anything about it. That's kind of crappy.
Right? So I decided, okay, now is the time. This is the day. I've got this article. I've got to do something about it. So I just took action.
And I didn't have some big strategy or anything,
but I just decided to send an email to all my female employees.
I didn't send it to any men because it was about international
at Wednesday.
I just sent it to the women.
So basically, what the email said was something like this.
It was like, hey, I can't believe after 14 years,
I've never acknowledged this day. As a chief revenue officer of your company, I want us to get to know each
other and see each other in a different way today. I'm sorry that it took me so long to acknowledge
the importance of each and every one of us and the trials and tribulations that we go through.
So I basically reintroduced myself, right?
And I kind of said something like,
I want to reintroduce myself to you.
While you see me on the outside as Heather Monahan,
maybe you don't know, I'm also a single mother.
Maybe you don't know that I have a lot of struggles going on right now.
Like how are we going to bring the quarter in?
Like how am I going to get this huge deal close?
You know, all these crazy struggles that I have going on in my professional life, as
well as in my personal life.
I touched on both.
And then I put I also struggle with how I look and when I gain weight, when I traveled
too much and don't sleep enough, you know, like I went like, I went when real.
It was totally real.
And I had never.
The funny thing is back in corporate America, I definitely had more of a facade. I was not so real and I had never. The funny thing is back in corporate America,
I definitely had more of a facade.
I was not so real and vulnerable.
I mean, after years of working with people
and going to events and whatnot,
some people did get to know me in a more real way,
but not globally.
That wasn't like my outward facing look
was totally vulnerable and real,
which now I live such a different life
and I believe the most vulnerable person wins. And I want you to remember that the more vulnerable you can be in your life,
the more you're gonna attract the right opportunities, the right people, the more love and joy you're gonna feel, and the more you're gonna connect to your purpose and passion,
the most vulnerable person wins. And I'm working every day on being the most vulnerable
that I can.
Okay, so, because that's really just being real.
So, to that end, okay, so I send this email out
and having no clue what kind of response I'd get,
or if I'd get any, right?
Cause crickets could come back.
I don't know, I hate crickets,
but you know, you just, you take a risk like that.
You don't know, it was kind of at a character versus how they saw me. I was always asking
for reporting and numbers and here I am reintroducing myself to them in the most vulnerable way
I've ever done. And then I ask them, Hey, I'd love to hear back from you. I'd love to hear
what challenges you're facing, you know, what you're up against. And PS, if you have any ideas to help me overcome the challenges I'm facing,
I'd love to hear those too. Like, I'm here for it.
It was something like that, and then I just said happy international.
Women's Day, I hope you celebrate you today, and if there's anything I can do to help you.
Today or any day, please let me know.
I thought it was nice, right? I just, I don't know.
I just, I knew I felt compelled to do something.
You know what's funny is now that I look back, man, that was coming from a higher purpose
because, wait until you hear the domino effect of what happened after I sent that email.
And I never anticipated it.
Well, the email went out and to everyone in my team and the sales division that was female.
So immediately, I started getting so many responses back,
so many people started replying all, right,
to all of these people and sharing such intimate things
and vulnerable things and challenges
and so real and so good.
And I was crying, reading these responses
and I felt so grateful. And I, it was like one of these moments where I was crying, reading these responses and I felt so grateful.
And I, it was like one of these moments where I just said,
wow, I don't need to show up
and put this tough face on
and put the navy blues pants suit on
and get everyone to think I'm so hard.
I'd be a lot more connected to my people
and really know what was going on
if I would be more real.
And so that truly, that day,
changed my life in such a
big way. It gets bigger. Hang on, hang on for it. So amazing responses. And literally my email,
I think shut down that deal was like, right, so hundreds and hundreds of responses came through.
Incredible answers. People offering to help one another. It was so cool. There was so much camaraderie, so much support, so many people going through the same challenges,
same problems, and so many people sharing really personal things and feeling
connected for the first time at work in this venue. And it was just, it was so
incredible. So anyway, while this is all going on, I shot a note to the president
of the company, who was my boss, a man at that point in time.
And I sent him a note and said, oh my gosh, this is out of control.
You can't imagine the beast that was just unleashed in our team.
Literally people are so happy to be working here right now.
This is like, there's a camaraderie and a connection I've never seen before.
It's incredibly, it's like nothing I'd ever seen before.
So I shared some of it with him.
He was blown away.
He said, this is literally lightning in a bottle.
I'll never forget that that's what he called it.
He called it the lightning in a bottle email.
And it really was.
And it was like magic.
And I felt so grateful.
Anyways, so he was like cheering me on.
He was so proud of me for doing it.
And you know, he got some messages from people
saying that they were so excited
that this initiative to bring women together
and the company had been started.
Some of the women in my team went and started
a Facebook page where everyone could get to get,
like, it just went other level, okay?
And then these challenges started happening.
It was so cool.
It had a mind of its own, right? It just went off. And it then these challenges started happening. It was so cool. It had a mind of its own.
It just went off.
And it was all good, all positive, all supportive, all beautiful.
Or so I thought.
So this is interesting.
Even when you have great intentions, others might not always feel your intentions the way
that you do, or others can be threatened by you.
And others can not want you to shine your light and not want you to do new and innovative
and different things.
And when that happens, you are at the wrong table in the wrong room, at the wrong place.
And for me, I don't know why I didn't realize that.
I should have got up and walked out of there when this happened, but I didn't.
So let me break it down for you.
So while my boss was super happy and happened to be male and was a champion for the whole
initiative and super excited about it, the CFO, who was a female at the time,
was not happy about it. And so she contacted General Counsel and they set up a call for
me, essentially to reprimand me and threaten me, that I had to shut this initiative down
and never do anything like this again, and that I was being sexist by not including men.
Basically, they were looking for a reason to come after me. And I'll tell you, it is such a bummer
when you're trying to do something positive and good and meaningful, and you get great feedback,
and you see your touching and helping and supporting people, and like, there's breakthroughs
happening, and you see connection, and you just see,
like this is what it's all about.
This is like we are making culture happen now.
This is so exciting.
And then all of a sudden you get shut down.
So immediately I fought back.
I said, no, I'm not shutting this down.
You know, I had worked that company for 14 years.
I never thought I'd be fired from it. You know, I did a really company for 14 years. I never thought I'd be fired from it.
You know, I did a really, really good job for them.
Driving share price and revenues and retaining talent
and attracting talent.
And anyhow, I stood up for myself.
I said, no, this is a positive initiative.
This is about benefiting, supporting, connecting
and uniting team.
The strengthens our company.
The strengthens culture,
I am not shutting this down.
So anyways, it became a war, truly a war, and PS,
I didn't even work for this lady at the time.
I end up working for her because she gets promoted to CEO,
spoiler alert, she's the one that fires me,
but anyhow, it really got ugly.
So I had to drag my boss into it who happened to be her brother.
And you know, basically said, listen, you need to shut her down, not shut me down. You know, this initiative is lightning in a bottle that it's great for culture, that it's, you know, positive
and uplifting and connecting, and that our goal is just to be good and do good and help others.
And I am not letting her shut the sound.
And so at first, he agreed with me.
And so he went to bat and went after the GC and the CFO
and said, no, back off Heather, let her do this.
People are so excited.
His daughter actually was one of the people in my team.
And she had reached out to him and was so excited
and felt a part of something and felt seen.
And it was like this great thing,
anyhow, within a couple days,
he comes back to me and says,
I tried.
This is out of control from a legal standpoint.
It was just all BS, right?
Just trying to just trying to cause trouble to shut me down.
And so he comes back to me a couple days later
and he says, it's officially you have to shut it down. That's it. You're going to get a letter from the attorney today.
That's it. And you know, it's black and white. It's crystal clear. And there's no alternative.
Oh my gosh. When something like that happens, I felt so devastated, right? Because I,
I felt like I was like on the custom of something great happening, a building momentum, and seeing change, and then all of a sudden it stopped.
And it was just so deflating, but not only for me,
for everybody, right?
Because while I had done this initiative
and I felt so proud of it,
it had touched thousands of women in my company
and they were so happy to be a part of it.
And then suddenly it was taken away.
That's a knock-oh-oh.
During that time, you know, so interesting is I ended up
getting a call from one of the female leaders
in a North Carolina market that we had,
and she called me and she said,
listen, I wanna let you know what's going on.
I've been really unhappy.
This email that you sent out kind of opened up the opportunity
for me to speak to you about it, I wanna tell you why.
And she told me that her talents were being used in a way that was maximizing, you know,
her skill set and that she was pigeonholed into one area and she didn't want to be.
And I had never known that. No one had ever told me that that worked with her every day.
And she had never told me that. She thought everyone knew. And of course, you know, we assume people
know what we want or what
we're good at, but that definitely is not always the case. So once she made it clear to me,
you know, how we could better support her and position her, we made the changes and put
her in the right spot. And she was so happy. So the point is that this email had legs for
days, right? Like there was all this amazing fallout happening that was all for the benefit of the company, all for the benefit of the employees, just all for good, all for international women's day.
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Okay, so I get shut down.
I'm so upset.
You know, I'd spoken to lawyers.
I was I was pissed and not feeling really excited about work because I knew I was shut down
because somebody else didn't want me leading an initiative that they
didn't think of or whatever. Who knows? Again, not my people
overcome your villains bounce out of their PS if you haven't
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So this was just devastating to me and to my team
and everyone was kind of just walking around bummed out.
Well, I thought to myself, I can't let this just stop here
because I've seen something like God,
the universe is showing you signs, right?
And I knew this was there was something there. I don't know exactly what it is. I didn't know what
it would become, but I know it couldn't just die. That was wrong. So that's what made me decide.
You know what? I'm going to launch my own website. I'm going to launch my own initiative outside
of work where this lady can't shut me down because I had seen was like a litmus test.
I could see the potential and the need and the want for community and support.
Okay, so interesting now to look back on all this, by the way, and it's so hard you can't
connect the dots in the moment. You can only connect it looking back and back then I had no clue
what my life was going to look like over the next few years. Gosh, it's so crazy.
what my life was gonna look like over the next few years. Gosh, it's so crazy.
Super exciting, very crazy,
and much like a roller coaster,
but I'm grateful for it.
So I ends up, I launch my own website,
then I launch all my social media channels,
make them all public,
and the GC and the CFO come after me again.
And what killed me was I had talked to my boss about it,
and he agreed.
He's like, well, this is outside of work.
There's nothing they can do about outside of work.
Nope, they tried to shut me down.
So they sent me a legal letter saying that I was confusing people as a chief revenue officer
of a publicly traded company by launching an initiative on my personal assets and that
that's very confusing to everyone and bad for business.
Oh my gosh, I literally can't make this up.
Having a personal brand is bad for business.
It's she was completely wrong.
It was actually great for her business, but she didn't understand that the time.
PS, back then the stock was trading at $12.
Today, I think it trades at a dollar.
Okay, just fact check.
We are sticking with the facts, people.
Okay, so I engage in a legal battle now
with the company I work for,
literally trying to defend that I launched a website
and took my social media channels public in an effort
to unify people and share knowledge that I had.
Hello, how is that bad?
Okay, so the next year was horrible.
I mean, it was constant battles.
And not just, listen, there's battles
that work every day, right?
Like you're dealing with difficult clients,
you're losing huge deals, you're going after business,
well, you know, your flights delayed, cancel,
you miss a meeting, whatever craziness is going on in your life.
There's gonna be battles,
but this was within the company I worked for, they were attacking me, and it was horrible. I started losing my hair.
I wasn't sleeping. It was just a mess, not good. And all those issues were signs telling me,
I needed to leave that company. I still wouldn't listen. I finally threw my back out. I was a disaster,
physically and mentally a disaster, crying all
the time, just so upset, just like struggling, it was just awful.
So that is when the CEO that I'd worked for for 14 years became L, he elevated his daughter
to replace in the CFO, the one that hated me, and pretty much immediately she fired me,
pretty much, she wanted me to close one huge deal
that was worth millions of dollars,
and I did close it, and then she fired me the next day.
Spoiler alert, right?
Heather, get a few more extra million in before you go.
So what's interesting and why I want to share that story today
about International Women's Day is I had no idea
the domino effect that one email was going to have, but I just took
the chance to send it.
I didn't know if anyone would read it, if anyone would reply to it, it was so out of character
for me.
But to this day, it just reminds me, take the chance, show up as that most vulnerable you
because when you do that, you really start a chain of events in motion that you don't know where they're
connecting to, where they're taking you.
But as long as you keep showing up for the next event or situation or circumstance as that
most vulnerable you, it's going to take you to where you're actually meant to be.
And I was not in the right place, even though I was so scared to leave.
I had an 18-month non-compete non-salicit, which meant I had to leave the industry I was so scared to leave, I had an 18-month non-compete non-salicit, which
meant I had to leave the industry I was an expert in and start over as a beginner somewhere.
And that idea scared me to death. Instead, today, I like to see when everything's uncertain,
anything is possible. That's total opportunity. Oh my gosh, so exciting. I can't wait to go
forward and see what happens.
But I wasn't thinking like that. I was just in panic mode because I had done one thing for so long
that I'd convinced myself that was all I was good at. I'd convinced myself maybe I'm so successful
because of the company, maybe I'm so successful because of the industry, maybe I'm so successful
because of my team. Everything outside of me I was giving
credit to instead of saying maybe there's something within me that makes me successful and I can take
the unique skills and talents wherever I want to go and be successful. And it was such a big
paradigm shift to get thrust out that corporate window and corporate job. Knowing I had 18 months,
I couldn't be in the industry at Expertise and I had to start over. it just, wow, that was a really, really hard time.
But those hard times also teach you that you don't know what that next opportunity is going
to be.
You don't know what that next door could open tomorrow.
And it could be the greatest gift of your life if you just only show up and open it.
And so I've spent the last five years opening
those doors chasing down the opportunities. Some of them don't work out, right? Some of
them are a complete disaster and some of them have been incredible. Like I just mentioned
my two books. I am so incredibly proud of my books. I'm so incredibly proud of my soul
saying, if you haven't checked them out, go to the link below. I'll put the link tree
below so you can check them out. These are reminders that you put on your shoes
to uplift people. They're incredible. I'm launching the most incredible program.
And the next, I think I'm going to announce it next week to you. I can't wait to announce it.
I'm so excited. And I want to tell you how this came down. And this just goes to show,
you never know what's possible. You just have to keep showing up.
this came down. And this just goes to show you never know what's possible. You just have to keep showing up.
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I was invited to lunch by a woman I had met on a podcast.
And we kind of hit it off, but you know, when you're on the computer,
it's different than in real life sometimes.
So, you know, I'll say to myself, oh gosh,
should I take the time because I was going to have to, you know, take a bright line
and it was going to take hours out of my day.
And I thought, you know what, I'm just going to go for it.
Who knows if nothing comes out of this, nothing comes out of it.
But if I don't try, I'm never going to know, right? So just go, show up, take the chance. That's the reminder right there.
I did take the chance. I went and met this woman and took hours out of my day and it ended up being
the best meeting. And she gave me this incredible perspective on my business that I didn't have.
And to her, it was so clear. And I'm going announce it next week. And I hope you're gonna love it.
I love it.
I've never done anything like this.
I'm so excited to launch this.
I'd love to have you involved.
And I will give you more details next week.
But be on the lookout, major, major, major announcement
from me.
And I'm super excited to launch this program.
So she had seen me from afar.
And through the lens of what she does,
it was so crystal clear to her what I should be doing, but because I didn't have that lens in
perspective from where she was sitting, I never saw it. And basically, she said to me, you know,
you're leaving this massive opportunity, business opportunity just on the sidelines, why aren't you
diving into this? This should be your whole business,
in my opinion, Heather.
And I thought, what are you talking about?
My speaking business is really the biggest part of my business.
And she's like, yeah, that's great.
And you can still do that, but you could help so many more people
at such a deeper, more significant level
to change their lives if you did this.
And she laid it out for me.
And it was eye-opening, shocking that I was missing this. And she said, I was wondering why you were missing this. And she laid it out for me. And it was eye opening, shocking that I was
missing this. And she said, I was wondering why you were missing this. So that goes back
to the people that we surround ourselves with have such an incredible impact on us, whether
from a negative or positive angle, right? And here was this woman who just saw me differently
because of her life experience, because of her business model, she saw this missing
piece that I had that I had never seen, never even thought about. And not only did she open my eyes
to it, she basically gave me her playbook on how she does it so that I can get up and running
immediately and start helping people. And it's just what an incredible, it was such an incredible day.
I felt so, so grateful.
And of course, I asked her, what can I do for you?
You're giving me this gift of a business I didn't even know I had.
And I'm so grateful and thankful for that.
Now what can I do for you?
And so I was able to help her.
She wanted to get a book deal done and needed contacts for editors and how to do a book
proposal and a bunch of things that I've all done.
Right?
So it's easy for me.
I'm like, yes, of course I can help you with that.
And I feel so excited.
This just takes me back to, it is so critical who we surround ourselves with, the people we
seek for advice and the people that we don't.
Never take direction from someone who hasn't been where you're going.
She's asking about how to get a book deal done and how to do right a book proposal, check, check, and check, done
it all. I'm asking her how to launch this new business, check, check, and check.
She's done it for 10 years. Right? So be really thoughtful about who you seek for
advice and when and make sure those people are on your team. They can be on your
team and challenge you to grow, but but sometimes just because they're in your
circle, you think they're in your circle, but they're not really in your
corner.
Right, so be really mindful about the people
you seek for advice and direction.
And take the trip, take the lunch, just show up
and give it a shot and see what happens.
Yeah, sometimes they won't be your people.
Sometimes maybe nothing will come out of it
or nothing will come out of it that day,
but maybe in the future something will.
So I'm so grateful I show up.
So to that end of showing up, I'm showing up again.
I am going to show up for an event in Orlando next week.
And I'm super excited because typically when I'm going to events, I'm speaking.
Right?
So I know exactly what I'm walking into.
I know how to handle it.
You know, I've already done my pre-calls with the teams and I know about the audience. I know what my objective is. I know what talk I'm going to give, like I fired up.
This is my jam, right? This is my wheelhouse. I walk in there feeling super confident and really excited.
What's interesting is a good friend of mine who I've actually never met in real life before, which is so crazy. We've been friends now for a while on the computer and on the phone, but we're finally going
to meet in person.
And he calls me and he says, Hey, I've got this event going on.
I want you to come with me.
And I love this guy.
He does so many favors for me.
He's such an amazing human.
And so I said, whatever you need, of course I'm there.
Count me in.
If you need me to speak done, you need me to, whatever you want.
Just know it's done.
And so he ends up sending me all this information
the other day and I see it.
And I'm like, whoa, this is out of my comfort zone.
I'm going into an event and I'm not the speaker.
I'm an attendee.
And I haven't done that in so long.
I felt a little nervous.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm like, wait a minute, this isn't my jam.
I know what it's like when I'm the one doing the book signing. I know what it's like when I'm the little nervous. I'm not gonna lie. I'm like, wait a minute, this isn't my jam. I know what it's like when I'm the one doing the book signing.
I know what it's like when I'm the one speaking.
Now I'm being invited to someone else's book signing.
Actually, it's John Maxwell, which I'm super excited
because I haven't met him before.
And so it's like everything's reversed.
And for a few minutes, I felt super nervous.
And I could sense that, you know, self-doubt was creeping in and I'm thinking like, I don't know anyone that's going to this thing. He knows everybody
there. I know no one. I had to remind myself again, okay, just, you know, just because this
is new and different, like let's go back to the basics, showing up is always going to be
the answer. Number one, number two, I want to research all the people I can find that
are going so that I can know if there's a point of connection or something in common,
or if there's something I can do to help someone.
I do all of that work ahead of time,
so it makes it a little bit easier to connect with people
when you see them in real life
if you've done your homework on them ahead of time.
And it makes people feel happy.
They're like, oh my gosh, how did you know I went to school there
or how did you know I'm from blah, blah, blah.
It's just more personal that you care and that you try. And I'm going to tell you this, I am a tryhard. I am
always going to be the one out there trying hard because I do care. And I do want to make a difference
and I do want, you know, there's some way you can bring joy into the world or into a person's life
in any moment. Why not do it? Right. So I do try hard. I do those things. I do want to have fun.
And a lot of that's around connection.
So in those situations, sometimes I'll ask people to play a game,
like if you weren't doing what you do for a living now, tell me what you would have done.
Just crazy things. Give us one thing that nobody this table knows about you.
And let's go around. I like to do fun different games like that to connect people and get people talking
and be memorable, right?
But again, it just, it starts with showing up
and that's half the battle, right?
You have to get on the flight
and you gotta go somewhere where you know nobody
and you have to walk around and introduce yourself
and listen, none of that's glamorous
and exciting and fun.
But once you break through that initial barrier,
it is so fun and the people that you can meet
and the relationships you can create can be life-changing.
You just never, never know.
And so I'm super optimistic for this event
and for all these new people I'm gonna meet
and for attending a conference instead of speaking at one,
it's gonna be cool, it's gonna be different.
And yeah, there's always a risk, right?
That, oh, what if I don't get anything out of this
or what if this wasn't worth, you know, whatever.
But I also believe I know that the people
I'm surrounding myself with are great people, right?
Because I know from my friend.
And so I know if you keep pushing yourself
into new environments with great people,
great things are going to happen.
So I'm hoping that you step into a new environment this week.
I'm hoping that you show up when you get the invite or the opportunity,
even if you're not dying to do it, because showing up is the answer time and
time again, and showing up as the most vulnerable version of you.
That's how people will really see you.
That's how you'll really connect.
And that's how you'll find your people, your purpose, your passion, and it all. And I can't wait
to let you know what I'm launching. I can't wait to tell you next week. I'm so super excited for
it. You guys have been asking for it. And it is finally coming. Thanks to my friend Kelly, who
is incredible. Kelly wrote show. Check her out if you haven't before. She's an incredible
person. I've had her on the podcast, but she's the one that helped me to open my eyes to an
opportunity that was sitting right in front of me that I hadn't seen.
This episode is brought to you by Taukaya Tree. Talking about mental health isn't always easy.
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So, imagine what opportunities in front of you that you haven't seen.
Get around like minded people, get around people with different perspectives and take it
all.
And until next week, I hope you keep creating your confidence.
I can't wait to tell you what I'm launching next week.
Let me know if you have an idea on what it is or go to my website and make sure that you
are signed up for my email list,
either on LinkedIn or on my website, Heather Monahan.com, to make sure that you get all the info.
I'll also link next week. I'll put a link in where you can sign up for my new program, which I
can't wait to share with you. I'm super, super excited. It's going to be life changing. It's going
to be amazing. And I'm super grateful. Until next week, keep creating your confidence.
You know I will be.
This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network. I'm Holla Taha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire YAP Media, and host of
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