Crime in Sports - #109 - Another One Bites The Dust - The Calamitousness of Roy Tarpley
Episode Date: March 13, 2018This week, we follow the bread crumbs down a long path of constant disaster, with a man who had all the talent in the world, but just could not stop his self destructive behavior. Not even fo...r $25 million. Instead, he smoked, drank, snorted, and beat his way to infamy, bankruptcy, and an early grave. It's a tale of wasted potential, sadness... and hilarity!Snort all the cocaine you can, get violent with those closest to you, and miss out on tens of millions of dollars with Roy Tarpley!!Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanDonate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.comGet all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.comFor Tickets To Upcoming Live Shows... Go to shutupandgivememurder.com/live for tickets to all live shows!!!Los Angeles San Diego Sacramento San Francisco Portland Seattle Chicago Philadelphia New York NashvilleContact us on...twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/crimeinsports  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Tell us to shut up and give you murder. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports.
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Yes, sir.
And if you are not listening
to small town murder what are you doing i don't know what you're doing what's wrong with you you
should be listening to small town murder it's crazy uh it's murder it's us and we're making
fun of murder in a small town right it's good stuff so if you like us do that also listen to
ps i hate this movie we would like that a lot also it's me and my my wife sarah hunt making
fun of bad romantic comedies yeah and
i get awfully angry a lot so if you like rants that's where you get them a lot because uh i'm
ranting a lot on that show with that crap going on but today never mind all of that jimmy today
my god do we have a tale yeah we have really stacked them real quick you guys watched uh
what women want and we did you have problems with that movie? Oh, fuck, is it terrible.
That's maybe the best Mel Gibson movie ever.
It's my favorite because of this.
It's because Mel Gibson actually plays what real Mel Gibson is like.
Just how much he fucking hates women.
No, that's not true.
He actually, he didn't call anyone a Jew or anything like that the entire throw the n-word out or call a woman a c
no racial slurs i didn't see him hammered throwing shit at police officers on the side of the road
nothing like that he didn't call anybody sugar tits in that movie you've got a point he might
have actually that's that he might have done at one point because he really was a dickhead
but watch listen to that show it's yeah we go crazy on that show but this today my god jimmy this is craziness this is
pure crazy 100 crazy uh let's get started here we're getting out of the brain damage sports
this week which you know we've been in the brain i don't know if it's great normally the brain
damage sports provide entertainment that the other sports can't provide but today this is not
the case today this isn't the case there's plenty of entertainment here we're going to the nba yeah we're going to roy tarpley jr oh boy you know it's gonna be damn right i saw that i read
i knew his whole story and i read a lot of his crimes and then i saw at the end junior and i'm
like of course perfect how did i not know of course he's a junior he's roy james tarpley jr
and what year did he play in the n? Because I don't know that name.
You don't know that name?
God, see, that's weird, because when we were kids, he was such a big name because he kept
getting suspended for drugs.
He was the Steve Howe of basketball.
Oh, shit.
They kept using him as an example.
Like, well, you keep giving this Roy Tarpley a chance.
What the hell is your year?
There's no none of this shit matters.
I'm shocked that I don't know who this guy is.
Yeah, he played.
We'll get into it.
But he's born on november 28th 1964 okay uh in new york city uh he's from far rockaway oh out there in uh queens i believe out there and uh and uh it's it's
it wasn't some hood shit out there yeah it was pretty hoody but i guess his parents his parents
his mother's name was selenor yeah. And his father was Roy Senior, obviously.
Of course.
They were together.
He comes from like a whole home life.
He has a whole home life.
They tried to keep him out of everything and shield him and make him not like that.
He would play like, he was into basketball from a young age.
Of course.
He didn't take to it right away.
Really?
He has a late growth spurt. He's one of those kids with a late growth spurt that was growing into his body
in high school as it was growing under him so it was a that's a tough sell here right there well
and this is in middle school this is happening this is like middle school early high school
when you're like finding your dick yeah and it just like grows insanely like whoa how do i handle
this yeah jesus christ i can't handle it, damn it.
He played basketball in a police athletic league at one point.
They were trying to keep him out of the streets.
But he also played streetball and that sort of thing here.
Now, this is so weird.
At his high school, the coaches went on strike.
What?
In New York, apparently.
The coaches, they're a part of a
union oh i guess they just said we're leaving apparently is what they said so whatever the
case was uh he ends up moving uh part-time or half the time to mobile alabama oh no to live
with his grandmother that's a culture shock right there in the 70s that's yeah 70s early
eight yeah 70s can you imagine plus just can you imagine going from queens to mobile alabama that's yeah 70s early 80s 70s can you imagine plus just can you imagine going from queens to
mobile alabeta that is a culture shock man is this a fish out of water story is that what this is no
no no it turns into a fish buried in cocaine story it's a fish drowning in booze story it's
one of those kind of stories uh yeah so uh he ends up going down there and continuing to play basketball uh in mobile he's cut from the varsity basketball team as a sophomore really so this is
what i mean he's not one of these cut he's not like one of these kids where they're like oh man
you know the scouts are looking at him in the ninth grade not even close to that at all but
he made varsity as a sophomore and then they cut him and then they cut him yeah and then on the
in his junior year uh he
averaged 3.5 points a game what and this guy made it to the nba yeah so this is not like uh he's i
averaged 3.5 points less than him in high school that's pretty impressive yeah well you could have
than a guy that made it to the nba could have been a big star jimmy could have been a big star and
blown it all that's the thing you could have blown every last drop of it and uh you didn't do that yet so that's okay we don't really have anything to blow so once you
get it we'll see if you can get acquire something and then maybe we can piss it away yeah so uh
they so they they were in uh in uh in mobile and he's with his brother and sister like they'd
they'd spend their summers down there with an uncle and they'd live with their grandmother
half the time here uh he he like i said he grows a lot um in high school uh and he said it was better to go down to mobile
anyway because he said the new york city schools were really bad which i don't know how great they
were in mobile alabama but apparently they were better than they were in far rockaway so that
says a lot right there that's awesome uh he ends up at one point later on moving to detroit
to live with his with his mother's brother, who's a former coach and operates.
He had a summer basketball camp there and that sort of thing.
So this is where he's found in 1981.
Bill Frieder, who you might know that name as the future coach of ASU.
Okay.
Yeah.
I pictured that fucking gin blossom nose of his.
What a weird nose.
Where Jimmy pretty much grew up in Arizona.
So that was an 80s ASU coach here.
And he also coached Michigan in the early to mid 80s.
Got it.
So he walks into this gym and he's basically looking for...
He's bottom feeding right now.
Michigan was a shit team.
They were 7-20 the year before.
The Wolverines.
Yeah, the Wolverines.
And the way they put it was they were looking for anyone who could walk and shoot gum at the same time at this point
this is before they found chris weber this is wait this is pre-fab five here this is long before yeah
this is the beginning of it because tarpley kind of ushers in that era really of yeah yeah his his
guys take go from being a a shit team yeah to being a good contender and it's a lot through him
fascinating but he's so they see this kid they see uh they see tarpley and they're not very
impressed with him it was one of those things they thought he was a junior that's the only reason why
they were like well let's take a look at this kid and he was a senior at the time going it was going
into a senior year like maybe next year he's like i'll be waiting waiting fucking tables at red robin yeah so they were like no you know he's going into his junior
year so maybe he'll be good but uh they didn't realize he was going into his senior year lucky
for him uh he goes back a month later and i guess uh he had tarpley had grown more in a month he'd
grown like an inch and a half how about that holy shit and his basketball skills were improving
yeah we're improving and so uh he started freer started to get interested in him he would write him he would call him uh he invited
him to a football game at michigan to you know try to make him feel like he was important here
apparently he goes back to mobile alabama in august and he's telling everybody that michigan's
interested in him and everybody's laughing at him like you're not even good dude like what are you
talking about that's amazing going to you're not going to college this is great especially not somewhere outside of here
there's a junior college three miles down go enroll yeah they don't need to recruit you just
sign up we got four four guys better than you on the on the high school team the recruit the
recruiter is just a piece of paper on the wall that you sign up for and then you're on the team
right that's the recruitment here uh so they ended up uh looking at him and they said he couldn't score at the time he wasn't very good
and then over that course of that summer he grew more and stepped his game up with his uncle's
help a little bit and his senior year he had he averaged 28 points and 22 rebounds a game holy
shit and he's 6 10 all of a sudden so basically this michigan
coach looked at like a six foot six yeah guy wasn't that great that he thought was a junior
right and he ends up with a guy who was going into his senior year he wouldn't even have looked at
if he knew he was going into his senior year who ends up being this insanely dominant like power
forward yeah all american center and it's it's crazy oh he's playing center yeah he's playing
high school he's playing center yeah all the other schools they missed out basically otherwise he's a
shooting guard in in college yeah otherwise he was six foot five yeah but now they got this big
guy this is great this is a hell of a story so yeah it's pretty nice so and uh freeder said quote
it was like a guy falling out of the sky he came to michigan with no no driver's license no real address and
no social security number what it was like there was no roy tarpley at all and then all of a sudden
there's a roy tarpley so he's brendan frazier in the scout they picked him out of a mexican
village or encino man or encino man or any movie he's always a recluse weirdo every single time
any single any time he's never just like hey
brendan's one of the guys and then he became a and then now he's a recluse weirdo in real life
i want to see a steel cage match between brendan frazier and randy quaid i think that would be
batshit and awesome wouldn't that be the best let's set that up i want brendan frazier to rip
his beard out one hair but one hair at a time any agents out there have any pull at all you can set this up for me neither of them are doing
fuck right now you can figure it out 20 grand will get that to happen yeah that's i guess so
so uh we can do this for 20 grand guys do you understand go fund actually brendan frazier did
those mummy movies and sure what did he do not mummy the other he did the mummy the mummy yeah
he did like five franchises he has so much
money but that's what it is he quit he quit hollywood i was gonna say he didn't quit because
you know because the money's right he quit because i have too much money why am i doing this stupid
shit why am i dressing up like deadly do right money why am i dressing up like george of the
jungle when i could be fucking sitting in the french Riviera. Buying horses and doing nothing.
Buying horses.
That's what he does.
And that's the funniest thing
because that's like the most random,
fuck-witted, moneyed person.
I buy horses.
You have way too much money while you buy horses.
It's the only reason why someone would buy horses.
Who's got time to train those fucking things
and break their spirit and make them fucking obey?
That's what you've got to do to a horse.
You've got to break it down.
You've got to ruin its psyche and then you have to freak out.
You've got to make it not a fucking horse.
Yeah, really.
Otherwise, it's going to just disagree because of nature.
Because it's bigger than you.
Because it's a horse.
And it really doesn't have to do anything.
That's the thing.
It doesn't really have to.
They measure your truck's power by horsepower.
By how many of those you have.
Which really, that really tells you how much we're dominating nature.
It's like I rounded up 600 horses and stuffed them into a 7x7 container.
Put them under my fucking truck hood.
That's right.
I pressed this little pedal that I could do.
Even if I was an old lady, I could press this down.
And I could just shoot out 700 horses worth.
Take that, horses.
Fuck you.
Real nice.
And this shit that I built it out of used to be dirt.
And I fucking mined it and made horses out of it.
Made horses.
Unbelievable.
Lots of them.
So this freeder says, quote, when you're around, sometimes you fall into certain situations yeah i can remember saying oh my god i wish someday we could get we could get a break and
get a player without a lot of hard work tarp was no work at all when you get a kid like that who
works out uh that well you've got you just got to be lucky yeah so he's 6 11 230 by the time he
gets to michigan so that was a hell of a good investment by accident that guy made pretty much
freeder was a weird looking man oh he's a that guy made, pretty much. Frieder was a weird-looking man.
Oh, he's a super weird-looking man.
He's a bizarre-looking dude.
He looks like the kind of guy that, like...
He looks like he's never eaten a lunch that wasn't liquid.
He's never had food for lunch.
He looks like he just loves dirty jokes that have the word pussy in them.
Those are his favorite jokes.
Pussy and the N-word.
Yeah, yeah.
Any joke with the N-word yeah yeah any joke with the
n-word you know i'm in any joke you got to clear your shoulders before you look at it look tell
the joke like that's his favorite joke so he goes to michigan for the 1982 1983 season and uh michigan
was uh they weren't they were turning it around yeah frieda was trying to turn it around uh team
goes 15 and 13 under bill frieder this year so they turned it around they frieda was trying to turn it around uh team goes 15 and 13 under bill
frieda this year so they turned it around they were 7 and 22 years before that so that's not
too shabby here see this is the bill frieda that i don't remember because obviously i'm 82 i was
too fucking well yeah yeah and i wasn't even in arizona yet but every i just remember him being
like just he was essentially uh henry winkler in the water Waterboy every year because U of A just pummeled them into the fucking ground every year.
If Henry Winkler was a...
Was he an alcoholic in that movie?
No, he was just, like, super beaten down because...
Yeah, I feel like Bill Frieder was an alcoholic.
He looked like an alcoholic.
I'm sorry.
It's alleged.
I can't prove that, but I feel like he was deaf.
Like I said, liquid lunches all the time.
He looks like one, yeah.
He'd say, what are you going out for a bite tonight he goes i'm drinking my dinner he'd sit down in his office with one lamp on
just drink one of the greatest well i wouldn't say one of the greatest but he's a legend in
in country music uh jerry reed he was the coach of the of the opposing team in the water boy and
he's like he essentially is the what was that guy's name? Was it Lute Olsen? Yeah, it was Lute Olsen.
U of A coach.
Right.
He's essentially like the Lute Olsen, the guy with like the ring and like just, and
he's just beating down Henry Winkler every, every fucking time they play him.
Just pummeling him.
We have a good program.
Right.
Right.
We put money into this.
Roy.
Illegally.
Illegally.
But it's, we've, we're putting, we're dumping cash in.
It's capital.
Every week.
Either way, it's capital.
You know, Tarpley goes to Lee plays in 26 games, starts two.
He's a freshman.
9.1 minutes per game.
They're easing him in.
Three and a half points, 3.2 rebounds.
So they're easing him into the lineup freshman year.
But 83, 84 season, he's a beast already.
He comes out in sophomore year.
He was a bench guy playing behind somebody
playing a second string in his
freshman year. Sophomore year,
they put the guy they had first string and him
out there at the same time. So it's kind of a
twin tower situation here. And
83-84, he blocks a record 69
shots. Holy shit. And was
named the team's most
improved player and also the most
valuable player on the team. Wow. By the team's most improved player and also the most valuable player on the team.
Wow.
By the team themselves.
He wins MVP of that team.
Internal vote.
Yeah.
The team goes 24-9 total.
Roy, 33 games, 20 games started, 28.2 minutes a game.
Now he's stepped it up.
12.5 points, 8.1 rebounds, 0.9 assists, 2.1 blocks a game.
My God.
So don't come into his paint.
He's going to swat your shit.
They go to the NIT tournament.
All right.
They just missed the NBA tournament here because nowadays, 24-9, that's a decent record.
That's fantastic.
It gets you into the tournament, but not then.
They go to the NIT.
They beat Wichita State in the first round, which I think is like a college baseball team
for the most part.
I think I could beat Wichita State.
Yeah, they're not great. They beat Marquette in the first round, which I think is like a college baseball team for the most part. I think I could beat Wichita State. Yeah, they're not great.
They beat Marquette in the second round.
They beat Xavier.
And then they play Notre Dame in the NIT finals, and they beat them.
Wow.
They beat Notre Dame.
And this is awesome because this gets them...
Attention.
Nothing.
You're the 65th best team.
Congratulations.
That's a good point.
That's literally your title.
Good luck to you.
But it shows that they can play through a tournament and that the team's growing.
So that's good.
At least they beat the shit teams put in front of them.
They didn't lose to those teams.
In case Ball State slips a little bit, you got Michigan.
You're right there to take their place if Rice slips down a notch.
That's how it works.
So 84-85 season, he plays in 30 games and starts all 30.
So now we're getting, now he's the man.
33.9 minutes per game.
19 points a game.
10.4 rebounds.
1.6 assists.
2.2 blocks.
Great.
He's the man now.
This is ridiculous now.
He's the Big Ten player of the year.
Okay.
He's the conference player of the year.
He is NCAA third team All-American.
Great.
So that's not, this is, you have to understand,
that's when Patrick Ewing and Hakeem Olajuwon
and all of these guys were playing center.
So to be third team is terrific.
Was David Robinson in there then too?
Not yet.
He was still in the Navy back then.
But 84, 85, that's, Ewing came out in 85.
He was drafted by the Knicks.
Like I said, Olajuwon.
Chuck full of centers back then
So to be third team is pretty goddamn good
Team goes 26-4 this year
That's great
So yeah, they've come all the way around
26 wins, 4 losses
Yeah, that's pretty impressive here
They're number one seed in their region in the tournament
They beat Fairleigh Dickinson in the first round,
which is a small school back east.
I remember like...
I don't know shit about them.
I just remember that kids that were like white kids
that were like 5'10 were like,
I'm going to go there and play quarterback.
So that's 5'10 white kids that weren't athletic
playing quarterback for a problem.
I've never heard of Fairleigh or Dickinson.
Exactly. Was it Dickinson? Dickinson exactly was it dickinson dickinson dickinson fairly dickinson all right they beat them 59
55 in the first round which isn't exactly blowing them out no it's the number 16 seed
that may play villanova in round two and they lose 59 55 all right villanova went on to that
miracle run that year beating georgetown in the finals in the huge upset and got it the champ so
at least you lost to the cinderella yeah upset of the century the one that wasn't gonna lose exactly
so that year also that summer his parents divorced after 20 years oh boy so they got him out of the
house 20 years the brother and the sister and they were like well we don't like each other we were
just trying to keep the kids from getting arrested how do you get through 20 years and then just be
like fuck it i don't like you i don't know well i got divorced after a good amount of time how long did you do it was over a decade how long did you do
yeah you know how long was your bid i did 13 years but you know 10 of it was in solitary so
it's much more it's much harder none of that's true by the way but still you know how it goes
but all right they do uh he said he began drinking in high school and his drug problem really picked
up at michigan that'll do it the booze is always there yeah he's always gonna booze i'm familiar
that's not a question it's just how much cocaine is he doing while he's boozing i'm enjoying being
off the corporate property tonight i'll be honest with you yes tonight that's the thing we're in our
studio like i said you're gonna hear an echo this week that will kill by next week we'll fix it we'll
fix it but jimmy can crack beers we can sit here. We can do what we want. I can get drunk. Jimmy can get drunk and silly. So it'll be
a good time. He says, let's have an in their own word on his lifestyle in college. Let's do an in
their own words. Quote, it was college. Sure. I'd go to fraternity parties. I was drinking and stuff.
Everybody drinks in college. My problem is that I'm a cocaine addict. That's my, that's my problem.
Cocaine. My biggest problem is that I let Roy do whatever Roy wanted to do'm a cocaine addict that's my that's my problem cocaine my biggest
problem is that i let roy do whatever roy wanted to do right so that's him later talking about
college and later on so that tells you exactly what type of episode we have here where he he
first of all used him referred to himself in the third person right number one and then he said i'm
a cocaine addict that's my problem cocaine also this is going to be good. Also, he's passing off that booze is not a problem.
No, no.
For him, it's for sure a problem.
It's a problem.
But really, the cocaine's a huge problem.
But when you're a coke addict.
Oh, but then it's just you can drink and booze together.
Right.
They go hand in hand.
That's the problem.
That's the thing, is that when you're a coke addict, as soon as you crack that beer, you're
like, I could do a rail right now.
I could do that.
And then I'm not as drunk.
And I could drink more booze. And then I'm not as high. like i could do a rail right now i could do that and i'm not as drunk and i could drink more booze and i'm not as high so i gotta do more coke and yeah
so it's a you can ride that roller coaster and he does it he is oh boy he he he is hanging out
at the circus all day long so the amusement park so uh 85 86 season yeah he is uh he's in michigan
again uh october 28 1985, he has some,
he hyperextends his knee
and had to have some arthroscopic surgery
to look around basically
and make sure it was nothing.
It ended up being not a big deal
because he plays in 33 games.
He only misses a game or two here.
31 starts,
31.7 minutes per game,
15.9 points,
8.8 rebounds,
1.4 assists, 2.9 blocks per game.
Almost three blocks a game.
That's a big deal.
Goddamn dominating.
He's NCAA third team All-American again.
Team goes 28 and 5.
My Christ.
Again, doing pretty damn well.
They're the number two seed in the tournament.
They beat Akron in the first round, which is the powerhouse of Akron.
That's a big deal.
You know that.
70 to 64, and they lose to Iowa State in the second round.
So that's not great, getting knocked.
They haven't learned how to win the NCAA tournament yet.
They didn't get that down.
Yeah, they lose 72-69.
June 17, 1986 is the NBA draft.
Fantastic.
Oh, baby.
NBA draft, New York City.
The 86 draft?
86 draft. Is that? No is it is that jordan no
no jordan was 84 yeah yeah this is uh this is 86 draft this is the len bias draft oh okay
where len bias is such a great story they draft him for maryland he's an amazing player
and he'll never play clean cut guy in the world. Everybody loves him. They draft him. Two days later, he dies from cocaine.
That's kind of the story of the 86 draft.
The greatest player in America is dead.
Half these guys are total drug washouts in this draft.
It's ridiculous.
So Felt Forum, which is a little add-on to 5,000 Sears or Madison Square Garden.
It's the side room at MSG.
This is live on TBS. For those of you who don't know, comedy clubs have side rooms,000 seat Madison square garden. It's the side room at MSG. This is live on TV.
I don't know.
Comedy clubs have side rooms and they're all bullshit.
Yeah.
They're all terrible.
And this,
the felt forum is like the side room.
It's where you see the open mic or that gets to say,
I performed at the improv.
People are like,
why am I in here?
Isn't there another place?
This isn't the club.
I swear. I've seen,
I swear.
I've seen Norm Macdonald here.
And there's every one of these comedy clubs
has this too
every single one of them
look go to your local
comedy club
find it
you'll see it there
so this draft
holds the record
for most players
who later end up
playing in the NBA
really
so the most
that actually play
there's 66 players
drafted
end up in the NBA
they don't even draft
66 players now
never mind having
66 actually play in the league now you need to know this on october thing you don't really need
to know it but you know i'm a completionist so october 30th 1980 this is six years before yeah
the cleveland cavaliers uh traded uh they made a trade in 80 and 83 to end up with a with a 1986 draft pick that they end up trading uh to the mavs
for a couple of guys here okay so the mavericks end up with a higher draft pick than they were
going to have to begin with so that's how this ends up happening they end up switching seven and
eight so uh what's the point of that it's so silly so stupid but top of the draft that could make a
difference yeah i mean yeah in the top 10 makes a difference. That might get you what you need rather than what's available.
Number one overall, Brad Doherty.
Oh, really?
The big kind of oafy.
You know, he was okay.
He had great hair.
Yeah, he was a handsome fellow.
But him and Mark Price in Cleveland.
He had a big fat ass, though, Brad Doherty.
He had a weird ass.
Yeah, that was that boring Cleveland team that would bore you to tears and win 61-55.
Like a college women's basketball game.
It was fucking horrible.
Who else was on that team between Price and Doherty?
Who cares?
Was Nance on the team?
Nance was on that team.
That was such a boring team.
Very fundamental, boring-ass team.
Their whole thing was hold the ball until the end of the play clock, and then shoot with two seconds left on the play clock.
That was their plan.
So they'd just pass it around. It was the the most boring it was like watching a game in 1951
don't break a sweat fellas it was like well we don't have to be athletic if we do this we could
pass it around don't break a sweat those tight tiny shorts will chafe your balls definitely don't
break a sweat uh number two overall is uh the boston celtics uh choosing len bias who then dies
two days later as we discussed right number three is
chris uh chris washburn remember him uh from golden state yeah he was drafted by golden state
and he uh we'll talk about him later oh it's a similar problem really so we're talking doherty's
okay but bias washburn coke coke uh chuck person number four god love chuck person he's uh in a lot
of trouble right now yes he is he's got problems's got problems. So there's another guy. We'll talk about him at another date.
Kenny Walker is number five overall by the Knicks.
Kenny Walker had a big kid-and-play haircut.
He had a big, high flat top and wore gold chains and shit during the dunk contest in 1989.
Fantastic.
He looked like he was in New Jack City.
Great.
And they took him off the set and put him on here.
And as a kid, I fucking loved him.
I was like, this guy's great.
Look at his hair.
This is cool.
He's going to put out a piece of cardboard and breakdance.
Definitely.
Number six overall, the Suns.
Of course, they're going to piss that away if they have a high draft pick.
They pick William Bedford.
Oh, my God.
There you go with that.
Number seven overall, Dallas selects Roy Tarpley.
Terrific.
Number seven overall, and the only reason he went so late was because there's a lot of rumors that he does a lot of coke.
It's funny.
How awesome is that?
He had the rumor that he does a lot of coke, yet number two overall dies of it.
Well, he was considered clean cut.
That night.
That night.
Two days later.
Celebrating the draft.
Literally celebrating.
Exactly.
So Tarpley goes number seven.
It's funny because Dallas's ownership at this point are like a bunch of hardcore Bible-thumping Christians.
Oh, good Christ.
They call them the God Squad.
That's what they call these guys.
So it's not Mark Cuban as the owner.
Right.
So they select Tarpley, which is an odd choice for them.
Yeah.
But they needed a center.
So what the fuck?
We're doing it.
Ron Harper's number eight, as we know him for years.
Oh, he's the guy with the lisp.
From some of the Bulls teams and all that.
Unbelievable three-point shooter.
Johnny Dawkins.
John Sally was in that draft.
Number 11 overall.
Terrible actor.
Does tons of things.
John Sally.
God, he's a bad actor.
Del Curry, Steph's dad.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Goes number 15 overall.
Great three-point shooter.
Terrific three-point shooter.
Just like his son, Scotty Skiles, who's a coach now and all that. Great three-point shooter. Terrific three-point shooter, just like his son, Scotty Skiles, who's a coach now and all that goes over.
Great three-point shooter.
Another great three.
Another one here, Mark Price at number 20.
So the Cavs got Doherty and Price that year.
In the same draft in the first round.
Which isn't too shabby.
That's amazing.
They get the Mavs pick up.
They draft Price and then trade him to Cleveland on the day of the draft.
So they end up with him.
Dennis Rodman, number 27 overall.
Okay.
This is like, sorry to go through the whole draft,
but this is fucking interesting to me.
Nate McMillan, number 30, another guy who played in the league forever.
Did he go to the Supersonics drafted?
Nate McMillan, I believe so, but let me make sure here.
I can't remember where he went.
Supersonics.
Okay, he was drafted by them.
I know he was on them later in there.
He played for the Suns too, didn't he?
A little bit.
Otis Smith too.
David Wingate, who we'll definitely talk about someday, because he was a rapey.
Did he get drafted by the Hornets?
Wingate?
No, the Hornets didn't exist back then.
He got drafted by the Sixers.
And yeah, he was a little rapey.
Where did Del Curry go?
Utah Jazz.
That's fascinating that David Wingate and Del Curry both ended up on the Hornets.
It doesn't matter.
I'm sure they left him unprotected i'm sure something like that and and jeff hornacek
number 46 overall this fucking draft is loaded with three-point shooters draft is loaded with
all the three-point shooters or shooters of our childhood video games yeah truly i'm gonna put
that white guy in so i can show you that all of these guys every single one of them were here
which is awesome very very interesting here now 86 87 season dallas is coached by dick mata who's got a great name for some reason dickie
mata here he coached in the nba for 25 years he's an old coach he once he was this 1970 71 coach of
the year really so that tells you how long he's been i don't even know that guy he was good 15
years before this draft so he's not to be fucked with here now this
team had detlef shrimp okay sam perkins big stone sam perkins that's right detlef shrimp was drafted
by the fucking mavericks oh yeah and i remember perkins yeah big just he looked like he just
ingested a half pound of weed at all times he was just like huh pancakes what the fuck oh here's the
ball that's hilarious great though yeah i love sam perkins yeah uh derrick harper was on that team and rolando blackman that's right yeah he was good
too so that was kind of their squad uh he plays in 75 games this year okay and the coach said
dick moda said normally he gives like the rookies are like it's boot camp yeah for them he busts
their ass he's on their shit tarpley coming in like all the scouting reports were that he wasn't
aggressive so they were expecting this coach was expecting to really have to be up Tarpley's ass.
And he gets there and he said Tarpley was the most aggressive guy there.
He's like, I let him skip the whole rookie thing.
I didn't break his balls.
He didn't need it.
He was on top of his shit.
So he plays in 75 games.
Only starts one, but he's a rookie.
19.7 minutes a game, 7.5 points, 7.1 rebounds, 1.1 blocks.
He's a rookie.
He's doing pretty damn well as a rookie here.
In the playoffs, the team loses to Seattle 3-1 in the first round.
And then Detlef leaves the team.
And then Detlef goes to Seattle.
Sam Perkins disperses.
Hey, you guys seem like a good squad.
I'll play with you.
Yeah.
Harper ends up later on in the Knicks, but that's not for years.
In the playoffs, he plays in all four games, starts one of them, averages 13.3 points, and 10.5 years uh in the playoffs he plays in all four games starts
one of them averages 13.3 points and 10.5 rebounds in the playoffs in his rookie year so that's not
bad he is uh on the uh first team all rookie team great which is fantastic that's not bad at all
here uh well let's go ahead uh let's do this now yeah grace already this is great rookie year this
is rookie year holy shit grace here he talking grace here. He's had enough.
He's done well for himself, and that's where it ends.
Oh, boy.
He has his ups, but he also has his downs here.
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And now back to the show.
Hello, guys.
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show share it with a friend and leave us a rating and reveal it we say grace because uh in june 87 this whole thing the team the team knew about his substance problems in college like every they know
all the rumors everything they send these scouts they're going to invest in a guy in the first
round they talk to everybody they talk to every girly fuck they talk to everybody on campus to see if he's a dick they see what's going on
here now it's coming out publicly that the Mavs knew about it but they didn't say like we're going
to draft this guy he's got alcohol problems and drug problems but we're going to take him we're
going to make something out of him like that's not how it worked so it's kind of a little different
here uh the Mavs vowed to help him with the drug and alcohol problems shortly after the draft uh
and when they uh the team and tarpley ended up uh reaching out to uh mark aguirre uh the uh
basketball player from the piss wire yeah yeah they end up reaching out to a wire to mentor him
and a wire agreed to do it under one condition what's that he said quote i said you have to
move in with me oh boy so now you got to live with this goddamn guy. So Tarpley lived with Aguirre for his first two seasons.
That guy had no neck.
Aguirre says, quote, look, I'm from the streets.
He said he grew up in Chicago.
He said that stuff was not going to happen.
And he knew me.
He knew I was not going to let that stuff happen.
And his mom knew.
She knew I had him, too.
He did not get into any of that stuff.
No suspensions or anything like that.
Hell no.
There were no suspensions or anything like that when I was there.
But after they were separated,
problems,
shit happened here.
Suspensions are happening.
But he said that.
But then at the end
of his rookie year,
he goes into drug treatment.
So he was living with him
that whole time.
But now he needs drug treatment.
So apparently he was doing shit here.
Got it.
Maybe that's only
during the season
they were living together.
I don't know
because this was in July.
Around this time,
Dallas Times Herald reporter, sports columnist,
our old buddy, dickhead Skip Ballas.
No way.
Fuck yeah.
We got a Skip Ballas reference.
He started as the fucking Dallas Mavericks beat writer?
He was the Dallas sports reporter for that paper.
Yeah, he was.
I guess that makes sense.
That's why he's a fucking Cowboys honk.
Absolutely.
He's a Cowboys guy.
He's a Texas guy.
But he's started out just, he still would take these stupid inflammatory positions for no reason.
And just like, and have that smug look like, I'm a prick.
Isn't it great?
Like, fucking asshole.
You frosty haired douchebag.
God, I hate that son of a bitch.
So he does an interview with Skip Bayless.
Roy does.
And thinks it's a fluff piece.
And it's not a fluff piece.
Skip Bayless, from what Tarpley says, was tricked into this.
Bayless gives the whole Tarpley story.
He quoted his own mother, who was a recovering alcoholic, and wrote that tarpley was quote one drink away from
oblivion wow that's what skip balis put that's a hell of a thing to say about somebody that's a
tough label to put on somebody and uh so rumors he he talked about rumors that linked tarpley to
drinking and maybe cocaine use uh his name apparently at this point there was at this in
this season we don't know exactly when it happened but there was a police report where a girl accused him of hitting her a girl accused tarpley of hitting a woman accuses
him of hitting her but we don't know exactly what happened no charges were filed there was only a
police report made okay and it's very vague and it's not available now so it's just it's just
reports of people seeing the report at the time so we don't really have anything on it here but
there's different things they taught bayliss talks about how in his final season coach bill fritter uh bill
frieder uh let him let him sit on the bench for much of a much of an important game and the reason
was that tarpley had been drunk at practice the day before oh jesus so the coach was pissed at
him and was punishing him also he tested positive in two drug tests at college
uh frieder would deny that uh tarpley says his college days were quote a wild crazy fun time
but he says the stories of alleged debauchery have been greatly greatly over exaggerated so
i'm sure they have i'm sure they have yeah uh he so he ends up attending an nba sponsored drug and
alcohol rehab program in cal in June of 87.
So this is like he's he's clearing the slate.
He's he went to them for help.
They said and he well, he fell the drug test and then said, I need help.
Right.
He didn't have to say that.
So they're saying, OK, well, at least he's saying he needs help.
He says, quote, I don't want to let myself down or my mother.
I don't want to be a statistic.
I don't want people saying another one bites the dust,
which will probably be the name of this episode.
Thanks, Roy.
I appreciate that.
Thank you for that one.
It's hard to come up with those episode names every week.
I really have a hard time with that shit sometimes.
I sit there for a half hour going,
what the fuck do I call this thing?
Another one bites the dust.
The Sun Jew, who is one of the owners of the team, one of the God Squad guys, he says,
quote, Roy came to me in the summer.
He said he'd been drinking.
He said he tried cocaine and he wanted to stop a potentially bad situation before it
really began to get out of hand.
I'm grateful for his understanding that it could have been a problem.
So the team has got a silver-haired middle-aged white man coming out of the woodwork to prop
him up.
If he comes out of college and he's a good kid, but he's got a bit of a drug problem, that's fine at this point.
It's not like it's his eighth offense or it's not like he's Steve Howe.
And at this point, they're just talking about booze, which is fairly easy to correct.
And he said he's tried cocaine, which means I've done cocaine all summer.
I've done so much cocaine that I have to come to the owner of the team and talk to you
about it that's how much cocaine i'm doing i'm doing it off of insane things like yeah i found
a picture of my mother and i cut up a line on that so you know how that works right so uh the
problem is with this whole thing that uh they say that it's like oh i'll be forgiven this is great
but they're really not then you get a label at this point. Of course. There's an NFL scout that talks about it.
And he says, quote, when an athlete enters treatment for dope or alcohol dependency, two things invariably happen.
The ones who stick with the program never become the players they were before.
A lot of them need that stuff to generate certain performance levels.
But most of them simply wind up going the way of former Rangers pitcher Steve Howe.
They claim they've done the cure and the problem is a thing of the the past and they turn around and go on a six-day bender they
quote they call they quote they call back our dude they call yeah they call back our dude we'll also
get a hollywood henderson reference later amazing is that you don't think roy roy and uh hollywood
henderson cross paths at all they're both in dallas same town what do you think's gonna happen
here and roy and you know how hollywood loves to talk to anyone who's on drugs anybody that does cope with them you think
maybe they'll they're gonna cross paths yeah later let's just they're getting it from the same dude
they did at some point he's like oh that you get still get it from him too that was my guy when i
did it good shit this is good stuff here the anti-drug program for the nba at this point
uh if after a player completes drug or alcohol therapy,
he misses a game or two,
if he misses a game or two
practices in a seven-day period, he must
submit to a drug test. If he flunks
or refuses the test, a 30-day suspension
follows, plus another run
through rehab and the whole thing again.
Players who reach this point then are
strike two, because it's a
three-strike rule, and another positive test resolves in permanent banishment holy shit so that's that's the deal
there uh now uh mark aguirre says quote when roy first admitted he uh admitted his problem i was
upset with him we had to be worried about him we're a team aguirre said but you can't turn your
back on the guy so we're all over him uh making sure he's got all the care he needed and it didn't take long to see that roy was very sincere about wanting to whip
his problem another team uh representative said quote i couldn't be prouder of him if he were my
own blood son this is just fucking ridiculous what the fuck it's so silly uh his mother ends
up moving to dallas yeah uh they said uh after she, quote, after Roy finished rehabilitation, we had a long talk
and it was decided that it would be better for Roy if I moved to Dallas.
If I had lived all my life, adult life in New York City and coming to Dallas meant leaving
everything behind.
A lot of my friends and a lot of seniority at the bank she worked at.
Right.
Quote, in effect, I had to sacrifice the life I'd known in order to save him.
But I think I provide an element of security for Roy.
You heard that, Roy? Pay up. and i'm on your house and you can't do lines off pictures
of her because she's gonna fucking notice that what is that on my face what is that what is that
powder uh so uh she said that uh she worries about him on his own uh she says she thinks he's making
too much money right now yeah and she doesn't like it she needs to take some off of him she's saying he's making too much yeah she now. Yeah. And she doesn't like it. She needs to take some off of him.
She's saying he's making too much.
Yeah.
She said, quote, yes, that bothered me at first.
He signed the contract with the Mavericks,
and the first thing he does is go out and buy a Mercedes 560 SEL.
Oh, yeah.
And I would hate to think how much money he spends on clothes.
If you're in his defense.
Wait till you find out how much he spends on Coke, Ma.
If you're 6'11", you're going to spend a lot of money on clothes.
Yeah.
Because you can't just go get those at Target. No's gonna be you that's a special order that's a problem uh
so he says he's gonna stay clean uh he says uh you know he says he wants to mean a lot to the fans
he says uh you know he wants to mean as much to the dallas fans in the 90s as star uh star boss
starback did in the 70s oh goodness and he says quote no he says he doesn't want to be
quote not another Roger Staubach necessarily but someone who could be a positive element in the
community maybe a role model to kids kids recognize me around town I get off on that
dude you're not even Moose Johnson yet no and I don't like the way he said kids recognize me I
get off on yeah that's not the right terminology that I'm proud of that that makes me happy that's cool not i get off on
that kids are like hey roy and i'm like how's it going kid no don't say that that's really that'll
get you on a list nowadays i would hope so jesus deservedly so uh he said uh quote i knew i had a
potential problem in my life one that could wear my body down and ruin my career when i first looked
at the numbers on the contract i signed with the Mavericks, I was
overwhelmed.
I said, thank you, God.
It was a dream come true.
It was a $500,000 per year in the beginning deal.
He bought a nice townhouse in North Dallas.
He said he had the freedom of his own, you know, shape his life and do what he wanted.
He said, quote, I know how much basketball, how much this basketball career means to me.
People ask me what I plan to do after basketball. Well well i'd like to own a business of some kind you think he's going to be successful about that here no now i he says he's pissed off
about skip balis at this time really called him a quote frosty haired douchebag no he didn't but
he should if he called him that i have his back yeah back. Yeah, I'm on board. I got Roy's back, 100%. I will defend any cocaine suspension.
I'll defend anything this fucking guy does.
I'll get you a bag, Roy.
That's it.
I will go out and find you drugs at this point.
Fuck that.
So he says that he was startled to see the, quote, oblivion comment there.
He said it was kind of ridiculous.
He said, quote, I did an interview with Bayless, and I thought it was going to be positive peace.
But I did tell him that I hadn't been going to as many meetings as I would like.
I hadn't I hadn't had the urge to take a drink for almost six months when I read that.
And I still don't.
So but the Bayless also said that old Skippy here said that he applauds the Mavericks handling of Tarpley.
Right.
The whole deal.
He says, quote, the Mavericks are on pins and needles because they realize that the star of the uh of the future star of the present really is a recovering alcoholic
that they worry that uh because he goes to bars with mark aguirre who's his best friend in the
team even though he drinks soda pop it's still a potentially dangerous situation mark aguirre's
taking care of him and shit but he goes to hang out with him at bars that's that's a terrible idea
so like he's like 23 years old right a recovering alcoholic already has a problem he has a problem
and he's hanging out at bars every night drinking soda or not that's everything is mr rey that is a
terrible the the mavericks are on pins and needles because they're terrified he's about to be back on
coke and booze yeah for good reason for christ's sake so uh the 87 88 season uh they
kind of have the same team there he's the february 28th 1998 uh 1988 player of the week wow he plays
in 81 games starts 9 uh 28.5 minutes a game 13.5 points per game 11.8 rebounds 1.1 assists 1.1
blocks so having a goddamn good year here with the with the Mavericks in the second year.
Team goes 53-29.
He ends up winning the 1987-1988 sixth man of the year award.
Wow.
And that's enough to get to the playoffs?
That's not bad.
Yeah, Coach John McCloud also was a mediocre ex-Suns coach.
So this guy, anybody who was
half-assed and coached in the Valley of the Sun,
this guy has a connection to him here.
John McCloud. They go to the playoffs.
This is a deep run, too.
They beat Houston in round one, 3-1.
They beat Denver in round two,
4-2. Of course they did. They go all the way
to the conference finals versus the champion
Lakers. Really? And take them to
a game seven. Really? This team goes to a game seven dallas with showtime lakers the showtime world
champion unbelievable it was the end of the run right i mean it was about 73 years old he looked
worse than he does now so those big knee pads yeah he was terrible then but uh he was he was
old i mean christ he was 100 at that point but point. But 17 games he plays in the playoffs.
Doesn't start any, but he plays 33.1 minutes a game.
At this point, when he established himself as a sixth man,
they would not start him on purpose, and they'd just keep him out.
Just have fresh legs.
First five, seven minutes, they'd keep him out,
and then he would come in like a ball of fire, and he would dominate.
That's how they do it.
And it worked out really, really well.
He makes $460,000 this year.
Beautiful.
So that's not bad.
That'll cheer you up from a playoff loss.
He averages 17.9 points and 12.9 rebounds in the playoffs.
Damn fine.
Not too shabby at all.
People like him, by the way.
Of course.
He's not a dick.
People enjoy this guy.
People like Roy.
Sure.
That's the thing.
He's not a dick. People don't like him. They say he always has a smile on his face. He's not a dick. People enjoy this guy. People like Roy. Sure. That's the thing. He's not a dick.
People don't like him.
They say he always has a smile on his face.
He's a wonderful teammate.
They call him a huge talent.
He's just really good.
Everybody likes him.
There's no problem with him.
Yeah.
They said whenever there's playful banter, Tarpley was in the middle of it.
He took more than he dished out, which was fine.
He didn't mind.
He thought it was fun.
They said that he was just a big, happy, goofy teenager is what everybody called him, which is likable.
But off the court, the guy's making half a million dollars a year, and he's very famous.
And a big, goofy teenager really isn't.
He's a big, goofy teenager because he's high.
Because he's also high.
He's happy.
There's a story about him.
A reporter ran into
him here one night after a game he ran into him in a convenience store and he had a six pack of beer
a huge bag of chips and a bottle of tabasco sauce jesus that was his night apparently uh he's 23
24 years old what's the tabasco the next day of practice he was telling the other players about
you know what is the shit eating habits yeah and he said quote i love tabasco sauce when i was a kid i used to drink it right out of the bottle oh good
christ serious but when i went to the bathroom i'd be hurting yeah yeah because you're not supposed
to drink tabasco so we know he's huge on cocaine and has a sore asshole and refuses to take care
of his stuff dude when you're 35 you're gonna regret this shit he's got issues later on too with his health and things like that another day after practice uh they were
joking around he was joking around with derrick harper i can't imagine drinking tabasco that's
fucking crazy yeah he's right out of the bottle i mean granted he's doing eight balls but yeah
he clearly doesn't give a fuck about longevity of his health i don't think his body or health
is a real concern to him later later on too he's like i just want my health you know i'm worried yeah he clearly doesn't give a fuck about longevity of his health i don't think his body or health is
a real concern to him later later on too he's like i just want my health you know i'm worried
about my body and no you're not stop lying uh so uh there was one another time where the reporter
was hanging out with derrick harper and ralando blackman mark aguirre and he was talking to him
and they were all kind of having just an affable conversation and at one point everybody's laughing
and uh tarpley approaches me.
And he was laughing.
And he says, hey, why do they call you Hub?
And he says, everybody calls you Hub.
Why do they call you Hub?
And the guy's last name is Hubbard.
And he said, he started to answer, well, Roy, my last name begins with.
And then he stopped.
And he realized that he's written a million stories about him. And they know each other.
He said, he's never read his name.
He doesn't know his fucking name.
He realized I've been dealing with this guy for two years.
This guy has no fucking clue.
He has no idea what my name is.
Why do they call you that nickname hub?
Because my,
no,
you fucking idiot.
You don't know me,
which is hilarious.
And,
uh,
that's how self-involved he is at the moment.
It is.
And so he would tell that all the time and people love that story.
So when he first got his first Twitter handle, his handle was at Y Hub.
Really?
It was just a funny story that everybody knew him by, because he was the guy that for two
years wrote about somebody and talked to him every day and had no idea what his fucking
name is.
Unbelievable, man.
So 88-89 season, in October of 88, he has a strep throat here two days before mandatory physicals
and all that.
But he still goes
and he speaks to the NBA
annual orientation
for rookies meeting.
The symposium?
The symposium.
He's going to talk about the dangers.
He knows about them.
He knows the traps
that you can fall into.
And he says, quote,
it feels good to have an opportunity
to express the words
to give these young guys a message.
I told them not to go out
and make the same mistakes.
Just work hard and play ball.
I wanted to tell them that's what it's all about,
how deadly it can be if you get caught up in it.
Which, yeah, I would say so for him.
They said when he asked him, he jumped at the chance.
He said when he was a rookie at these meetings,
no one talked about drugs, and he wanted to do it, God damn it.
So he went in there.
The team goes 38-44 and misses the playoffs oh boy but
that doesn't matter because during the season there's more trouble with him and we'll find out
because he doesn't he's not there for all of that 38 and 44 really we'll find out here uh january
8th 89 uh a man is charged with dealing drugs in dallas and he tells police that he sells cocaine
to roy tarpley on the regular okay uh They said they had no concrete evidence against Tarpley,
but they did say that his name has come up
three different times in an eight-month investigation
from three different people.
That's a lot of coke he's doing.
He's buying coke from everywhere,
and people are going, yeah, I sell him coke.
I sell him coke. Yeah, I sell him coke.
So they can't charge him with anything here, but they do end up telling the league about
it and that sort of thing.
And it gets back to them because they investigate through the league.
They go, hey, is this guy like, what's his deal with coke?
And they're like, fuck, God damn it.
He's got coke again.
I was like, are you sure he plays for the Mavericks?
I'm positive.
Yeah.
Roy Tarpley, the guy for the.
He's seven feet fucking tall.
Yeah.
How would you know?
Yeah, he's huge. And he showed up in his game for the. He's seven feet fucking tall. Yeah. How would you know? Yeah, he's huge.
And he showed up in his game gear.
So, you know, he's still wearing number 40.
He's still wearing court goggles on his face.
You can't miss it.
Plus, he's, again, seven feet tall.
It's either him or David Robinson.
It's one or the other.
I don't think it was Robinson.
We'll just put it that way.
I love it.
He doesn't wear goggles.
So the police here, the investigator said, quote, we never targeted Tarpley.
He just came in as a result of the investigation.
Yeah.
So he ends up being suspended from the NBA indefinitely after this for a, quote, unspecified violation of the league's anti-drug policy.
Which is failing.
Well, they heard about that and sprung some coke tests on him and he failed them.
Okay.
So that's what ended up happening. Unspecifiedified there's not much you need to specify if it's a violation of
the drug policy they did a drug that you don't want them to do yeah and the owner of the team
one of the god squad here says quote this is the first time i've ever heard of this at all i don't
know anything about this what's cocaine what's going on here no no i mean what this is the first
time i've heard what is that i don't know what that is if someone could tell me maybe i'll go to one of those rookie symposiums and we
can talk about it here maybe that's what we have to do awesome uh so he he'd been under the league
restrictions he'd undergone regular drug testing and was recently accompanied by a drug counselor
on a 10-day road trip oh boy so he's been he's had like help he hasn't been out on his own here
uh he said in august he had said that he
had his dependency beaten he said quote i feel a lot better about it now i have no problems with it
at all uh the informant one informant said he sold tarp tarp tarp lee cocaine at least three times
yeah the others pretty much said the same thing here uh this year so he only plays in 19 games
this year because he spent 49 days at a rehab clinic after that.
He leaves the team in January of 89.
And that's strike two, mind you. So understand that part.
He returns April 12th, 89.
He was still unavailable for comment.
They weren't letting him talk to people yet here.
But don't worry.
His statement would just be, I'm good now.
I'm fine.
I've got it under control.
Everything's good.
It was a slip up.
I don't know what happened, but I think it might have been a faulty test.
You never can tell with these things, but I take the suspension like a man because I don't want to make waves for my teammates because I'm a team guy.
Yeah.
So ridiculous.
Last six games of the season, he averages 22.7 points and 13.3 rebounds.
So that was a great end of the season here.
Ends up playing in 19 games that year.
He makes 560 K.
That'll buy you a lot of Coke anyway.
So that's helpful.
Now, 89-90 season, Coach John McLeod is fired after the first 11 games.
He was 5-6.
He's replaced by Richie Abudado.
On October 27th, 1989, Roy misses a morning practice and does not contact the team until that night.
Oh, boy.
So he explains.
It's fine, though.
He missed the practice in the morning.
That's fine.
And then calls in the afternoon.
No, not in the afternoon.
In the evening.
In the night.
Right.
And he says that he overslept for 12 hours.
I just woke up, guys.
It was really.
I realized.
I set my alarm for 1040 p.m.
It's strange.
I watched Lawn Honor Rerun. I watched that on TNT or whatever. up guys it was really i realized i i set my alarm for 10 40 p.m it's strange i watched lawn honor
rerun i watched that you know on on tnt or whatever i got that in in usa sorry i got that in and i
fell asleep it was like 10 45 i didn't even see if they got if they got them or not i assume they
did it's lawn order but i didn't get it completely i wake up i went to bed 10 i wake up it is 7 p.m
the next night i slept for 21 i can't believe it i don't know how I did it. I must have been so tired.
It's remarkable.
I think I feel better now, though.
I'm good now.
I'm so rested.
And he says, quote, he overslept.
It's all good.
And he says, quote, you're going to see a new Roy Tarpley now.
So, new man.
I slept almost an entire fucking day.
I'll never sleep again.
I'm good.
I'm good for like three months now, especially with all the cocaine I'm doing right that sounds like i came off a bender and i really and then i was
just tired i crashed so hard november 1989 he does not show up at a practice and the mavericks send
their special assignments coach to see where he is oh boy now this guy is the babysitter yeah that's
his guy's name is clifford ray at this point He has the shittiest job ever. Honestly.
A grown man doesn't show up for work.
You go find him like he's a truant 12-year-old.
You go bang on doors.
This is ridiculous.
And find a 6'11 man.
And he would, too.
He'd go to places where he was a regular.
He'd go to bars.
He'd go to restaurants, nightclubs, places where there's booze, places where he might be, that sort of thing.
Mark Aguirre's house.
Mark Aguirre's house. Another Aguirre's house, another bar.
He said that's where he'd find them all the time.
He's just a big, goofy teenager.
And he says, why does he go to bars?
Tarpley says, because I'm 24 years old.
I like to hang out.
That's where the girls are.
Because it's legal.
Plus, that's where the women are.
Right.
And if you're hanging out with all your teammates,
we're going to go check out the ladies later and all that shit.
And he's like, all right, what else am I going to do?
That's where everybody hangs out in the NBA.
They don't go out to dinner and go home.
They go to bars and strip clubs and shit.
Have you ever met an NBA player?
You don't go to the library for a girl.
You don't go to the grocery store for a girl when you're an NBA player.
You don't.
You go where the nightlife is.
You go there.
Where the loose women are.
They hook you up.
They give you a nice booth.
Right.
They fucking set you up.
You impress the pants off of her.
That's it.
Then you get in those pants.
You send shit over.
So, November 15th, 1989, he's got a problem.
He's arrested for DUI and resisting arrest.
Oh, Jesus.
So this is a fun one here.
And he didn't want to get arrested.
When he's drunk and cops want to talk to him, he doesn't necessarily want to have a conversation with him.
He does this several times.
He's had enough already.
He's got some good quotes to the cops later, too, which are really, really funny.
They said that he was tailgating another vehicle at 70 miles an hour.
Jesus.
And he was stopped.
When they tried to question him, he pulled away from a female officer and took a swing at another officer.
I don't think you can do that.
That's one of those things that's frowned upon.
They took a swing. He didn't hit anybody but especially in texas they said he
took a lackluster swing at somebody like a motherfucker i'll take a swat and he was drunk
it was like a half-assed like do i really want to punch a cop right if i hit him do i want to
knock him out really probably and get shot by the other one probably his brain just told his arm
move right now that's all it was but not not too far no not too fast right we're not sure
about this also he's lucky it's not 2018 because he'll get shot for that especially in texas that
big of a dude oh huge yeah terrifying of fucking they probably knew who he was texas state ranger
they're like we can't kill a maverick i don't think that's okay that's that's probably not good
it's november the cowboys suck this year because they were terrible that year i mean we can we
need a distraction.
We can't shoot this guy.
It's going to be awful.
They said it took numerous officers to make the arrest.
He was taken to Lou Sterrett Justice Center and booked on the two charges.
Lou Sterrett?
Lou Sterrett.
He was released on bail.
So, yeah, he's charged with DUI, resisting arrest for the traffic stop here.
Also, improper lane change
he was ticketed for and failure to have his driver's license and proof of insurance on him
he was driving like a dickhead he was driving like a complete dickhead uh november 17th 1989
he is suspended indefinitely by the team oh fuck is that that's strike three that's that's not
strike three necessarily uh because he didn't fail a test good point he's out there so but he's gonna
have to right there's a there's a gray area why doesn't get you a failed test it doesn't it's a
different thing and they talk about it too they end up adjusting the program later on because of
him because of him amazing a couple other people too all right i think lewis lloyd was involved in
that deal too uh so uh yeah it's the uh aftercare program people are uh you know interested in this
they're worried about it and it says under nba rules the counselors at an aftercare program. People are, you know, interested in this. They're worried about it.
And it says under NBA rules, the counselors at an aftercare program could order a player suspended if he violates the agreement of the program, which he did by doing that.
So they recommend he'd be suspended.
The head of this whole thing, the Dr. David Lewis, said that he'd be suspended without pay, quote, until we can sort everything out.
We need to sort shit out.
We don't know what to do with this asshole.
quote until we can sort everything out we need to sort shit out we don't know what to do with this asshole team officials said that his future would be determined by the result they received
from his monday drug test okay they said they were to administer a test late friday uh one of the two
or three regular ones that he's taken and basically there uh he could be result the third strike could
result in an automatic two-year suspension which which is basically a banishment, and then you'd have to reply for reinstatement, all that sort of thing.
The Mavericks also levied a $250 fine for missing practice.
Tarpley was not available for comment, shockingly enough.
He was at his drug dealer's house.
Probably, more than likely.
Sanju, God Squad guy here, said that Tarpley told him he'd been out late Thursday night and just simply overslept.
He was busy with
the with the gospel well he had to do that clifford ray found tarpley at his home late friday
afternoon the special assignment guy like jesus cricket knock on this fucking idiot's door perfect
here uh now april 9th 1990 two days later he tests negative for drugs and alcohol and will return to
action after only two games yeah two days later all that's for two games uh tarpley
says quote i feel really bad about this i need to work on being a responsible person i should have
been at practice i should have called i paid a price and now i'm glad it's over i said i didn't
take drugs and i didn't i'm excited about getting back with the team now it was like a few days
later so he might have taken drugs right coke gets out of your system that's the thing about
booze and coke yeah he picked two things that if you disappear for a few days as we know like steve howe would be like well in between
tests i could go on a bender and then i'd have enough time drink a bunch of water run a couple
of miles i'm fine yeah this uh now they and he had given roy gave the the uh the whoever they are the
doctors in this program permission to release uh to report the levels of to report his medical shit basically
normally normally they say we don't release medical things to the media right but he said
to tell you that he didn't do drugs so he didn't do drugs they said so uh that year he plays in 45
games starts 35 36.6 minutes a game 16.8 points 13.1 rebounds 1.5 assists six assists a one point six blocks and one point eight steals
even so on the court he does great and then he gets suspended and acts like a jerk off that has
to be frustrating yeah team goes 55 and 27 they are swept by portland in the first round of the
playoffs oh boy he plays he starts all three games plays 43 minutes a game 16.7 points 15.3
rebounds so he has a monster yeah monster 3.3 blocks in the playoffs.
That's great.
Monster playoff series.
Per game.
Per game in the playoffs.
So he's having a tough time.
Things are not going well.
No.
So what should he do?
Absolutely have a kid.
Absolutely get married.
He's going to do that.
Because right now, I feel like his decision making is at top level right now.
It's not going to get any better than this, I feel like. So you is at top, top level right now. This is, it's not going to get any better than this.
I feel like, so you might as well get married in July 90.
He marries Dawn Celestia Finley.
Yeah.
She will suffer for a few years.
90, 91 season, November of 1990.
He suffers a season ending knee injury and he gets a DUI.
Oh boy.
He's having a tough time here.
We'll talk about that DUI in a second
here. He only plays in five games.
Averages 20.4 points
and 11 rebounds, so that's great.
Team goes 28-54. He
makes $765,000
that year. Wow. Which isn't too bad
to sit on the bench and have a problem.
And only win 28 games.
Yeah, that you cause nothing. Oh, my God.
March 31, 1991 is when he's uh arrested
on suspicion of drunk driving uh they observed tarpley uh in his 88 mercedes-benz traveling 63
miles an hour and a 35 at 1 a.m which will draw attention that does that uh they appeared him over
he pulled him over he appeared to be drunk uh refused to take a breathalyzer test or be handcuffed
oh boy that you can't refuse that no if they want to cuff you right uh they said here spencer this officer said
quote tarpley did not want to be handcuffed and indicated he would get physical quote he indicated
he indicated what he said was i'll fuck you pigs up exactly what he said quote he indicated he
would beat the officers and told them if they wanted to handcuff him to quote call an army so he is talking some shit on the side of the road so then they did call an army yeah they called in nine cops they'll do that and then he surrendered without resistance once they said he goes oh that's what i meant i wanted an army you did it so yeah now i'll surrender go ahead and cuff away i just wanted attention i wanted nine people here for it's awesome. I didn't say you'd need nine guys.
I just said I wanted to see you.
I wanted to see nine guys.
I appreciate that.
I didn't believe you had them.
I didn't think you had nine guys, but apparently you do.
Good for you guys.
That's good.
That's great.
He posted a $200 bond on the charge of an investigation of drinking while intoxicated.
If convicted, he could face between 15 days and two years in prison and a fine of up to $2,000.
Fuck.
This is a
second time deal so the fine everything's a little bit stiffer uh his refusal to take a blood alcohol
content test also could post uh could cost him a 90-day suspension of his driver's license
automatically really and drinking alcoholic beverages would be a violation of his aftercare
program with the nba but it doesn't necessarily get him a third strike, as we know from last time. His attorney said that Tarpley requested a blood test while incarcerated, but was refused.
They said they refused to test his blood.
He asked for it.
Meanwhile, the cops say that they asked him for a blood test, and he refused.
So that's what ends up going on here.
He said, she said, I believe the cops would take the blood if you offer it to them.
Let's just say.
If you say you can have it, it'll make your case easier.
Let's jack a needle in that guy's arm real quick and figure this shit out.
What do you guys say you find a phlebotomist for us?
There's got to be somebody who fucking, you know, somebody who saw a commercial at 2 in the morning and went to school for a three-month program and now can draw his blood.
There has to be somebody like that out there.
Let's get somebody around.
Sorry, phlebotomists
out there, but you know that's how you got your deal.
That's how you did it. Two in the morning.
If you bruise somebody, you're getting sued.
The Mavericks GM here, Sanju,
said, quote, we care very much for Roy.
We also respect the job the police have to
do. We are confident the police will conduct
a fair and thorough investigation. We are not
qualified to comment further until the investigation
is complete. In other words, my hair is super silver yeah i don't want to get involved here
listen this guy puts a lot of asses in seats yeah uh he ends up admitting uh to team officials that
he had three beers before his arrest that weekend which he's not allowed to have any beers uh he's
already as we know injured uh there's only 10 games left in the season at this point. But he said that they're talking about his suspension of pay.
He reportedly earned $765,000 a year, which is $63,750 a month.
And he'll be suspended based with no pay out of this if he is suspended.
Now, here's worse reason.
So far, it's been DUIs and self-destructive shit.
We talk about asshole
or idiot all the time that's our thing that's asshole or idiot right so far this has been
total idiot behavior no doubt self-destructive i mean yeah he's fucking over a team right but i
mean so what a lot of guys are fucking over teams there's guys out there slacking i mean who knows
every day now on may 6th 1991 things take a different turn a 30 year old woman from irving
texas who isn't his wife by the
way uh called police from his apartment uh in the middle of the night on a sunday morning and told
them that she had uh that roy had beaten her uh she said the uh the uh she later got medical
assistance in the car in the parking lot later on she had a dislocated right shoulder and bruises
on her back and neck uh she was taken to herman hospital for
treatment and later released the police report said that the victim said she didn't want to
press charges because she believed tarpley would quote cause her greater harm if arrested that
greater harm oh my god she's gonna fucking kill me if i say something fucking shoulder that's
how scared of him that is a beating That is ridiculously scared of someone because he must be a monster.
Who knows what he's like behind closed doors.
He's like slammed on the ground or on an object, right?
Because you can't punch somebody's shoulder dislocated.
If you're seven foot tall, 240 pounds, you might be able to yank a woman's arm out of
the socket if she's small.
Oh, and that's another thing.
Yeah, if you're trying to flick her around.
Yeah, he might have said, come over here and yanked her and tore it right out of the socket.
Like this is what happens with like three year olds.
Right.
Because adults are so much bigger than that.
Like giants are bigger than normal people.
Yeah.
She could be five, three, 110 pounds.
He could be twice her size.
Sure.
That's crazy.
So, uh, uh, yeah, she was scared, but he's arrested anyway because the officers are,
you know, make an arrest.
If there's any visible evidence of anything, they have to arrest everybody or at least she's a dislocated fucking shoulder that's enough
i would say for that here now tarpley like we said was just married a few months ago but that
doesn't matter uh he's arrested without incident uh so uh yeah he's released on a 500 bond if
convicted of the misdemeanor charge he could face up to one year in jail and a two thousand dollar
fine and a wife with a lot of fucking oh. Oh, she's got to be pissed.
Oh, boy.
This is the tip of the iceberg.
This is the worst door that you want to open at 3 o'clock in the morning.
I would say, hey, baby.
Where have you been?
Calling her up.
But it's always Mark Aguirre he calls to call him out of jail.
It's true.
Mark Aguirre calls him out of jail all the time later on.
His whole life, Mark Aguirre is his 3 a.m. phone call.
That's amazing.
Aguirre needs to put his phone on airplane mode because he knows at some point ah fuck roy's gonna call me too in the morning
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So now, August 1991, assault charges against him are dropped because the woman who was accused of beating refused to cooperate with prosecutors.
And so the judge agreed with recommendations from prosecutors that they had no case to prosecute, that she wouldn't cooperate.
Yeah, if there's no witness.
What are you going to do?
September 5th, 1991 at DUI court here, DWI court, a series of eyewitnesses testified in his DUI trial that he did not appear intoxicated at the time of his arrest in March.
This includes a former police clerk, former, so he's gone by now, but who was leaving the county jail as Tarpley was being brought in.
He said that he did not smell alcohol on Tarpley as he passed by Tarpley, which, I mean, who knows?
And that Tarpley wasn't staggering.
What does it mean he didn't have anything?
He said he had three beers, which he wouldn't be drunk or staggering.
This guy's a bad detective.
Yeah.
He's a police clerk, so he's not a detective.
Additional witnesses said that Tarpley appeared sober to them.
Police testified that they stopped him doing 60 and 35, like we said.
There also was a videotape of Tarpley as he's being given a sobriety test in the county jail of failing the sobriety test.
And also on the tape, it's him refusing the police to administer a blood test.
So him and his lawyer lied about that one they also said that they're calling up just weird things they said that uh tarpley's car was driven to the county jail after his arrest rather than
being impounded which is normally the case so i don't know if he was like hey man i don't know
why the cops are doing many favors after he threatened to beat them up but yeah i mean one
of maybe maybe maybe somebody had a bet on them covering.
Who knows?
Maybe.
Yeah, maybe.
He's going to need his car.
Either way, the jury acquits him of the drunk driving charge, and the judge denies a prosecutor's
motion to revoke his probation.
Holy shit.
So the last two weeks, he just wins everything.
He's fine.
Everything's fine here.
He could have been sentenced to a year in jail uh out of this whole thing and for the uh dui he could have had two
years in prison so lucky as shit uh he says at this point legal problems are over okay he says
quote i learned a lot i've had butterflies at the free throw line with no seconds left but now i've
had butterflies in court i'm ready to get on with my life. I'm good now. Yeah. That's the ultimate.
Hey, for sure.
Behind me.
Don't know what I was thinking.
What booze?
Shit happens.
But man, I cocaine.
I don't even know.
Don't even know what it smells like.
No fucking idea.
No idea what that smells like.
So the team said they were happy with his acquittal, but they were unsure how it would affect his playing status here.
October 16th, 1991. He is suspended for refusing to take a drug test.
Oh, boy.
So not great.
That is a bad thing here.
January 5th, 1992, he's suspended.
He does an interview saying that he had money to burn and he couldn't stop partying.
He says in their own words, quote, I guess once I got a hold of a lot of money, I thought I could just party, stop and do the job. I didn't it didn't work out that way. I just
kept partying. As soon as I got a hold of a lot of money, my decision making went out all out of
whack. In the end, I just say that I tried to be hip, slick and cool and get high on the sly.
I love basketball. I want to play. So his wife, though, this is hilarious, too. I can't wait for this.
His wife, Dawn, despite all of his problems here, says, quote, Magic Johnson has an incurable disease and everyone seems supportive and sympathetic.
Roy Tarpley has an incurable disease and everyone who doesn't know him looks at him like he's the scum of the earth.
Wow.
Let's not compare AIDS and alcohol.
I get it.
You know what?
I get it.
And we're not going to argue whether alcoholism is this or that. It's not AIDS. Can we all agree that it's not compare AIDS and alcohol. I get it. You know what? I get it. And we're not going to argue whether alcoholism is this or that.
It's not AIDS.
Can we all agree that it's not HIV?
I think that's different.
Here's the thing.
Those are different things.
If Roy doesn't do anything, he'll be okay.
He can wake up tomorrow and he won't have liquid shits.
No.
And he won't have bruises all over him for no reason.
Magic wakes up and doesn't take his medicine.
He's in fucking trouble.
Yeah.
Well, maybe not now.
Who knows what the hell he's doing now.
He has had some weird rich person AIDS cure.
He somehow owns a fucking baseball team.
How do you do that?
He's the most successful AIDS riddled person ever.
In 1991, when he retired because he said he had AIDS.
And back then, if someone had HIV, you were like, oh, he's going to be dead in like 15 minutes.
He could be dead before the end of this speech.
It could be full-blown AIDS before they say it's not full-blown AIDS.
Would you say in 25 years, that guy's going to own the Dodgers?
First of all, he won't be alive in 25 years.
In 25 years, we're going to be paying our respects to a rock on the ground.
And you'd be saying he's a basketball player, remember would he own a baseball team moron do you guys forget he
played with kurt rambis oh yeah and trump will be president fuck you fuck out of here magic
yeah okay sure all right whatever so uh fantastic yeah so general manager sunju here this guy is as
silver as it comes unbelievable i can't believe they got so many quotes from him he says he
understands what roy tarpley's wife is saying and sort of agrees with her.
He says, quote, if you're saying Roy Tarpley's a bad person, you don't know Roy Tarpley.
I can talk about bad people in the NBA from now until tomorrow, and Roy Tarpley's not one of them.
Damn it.
Because I own him.
Right.
Exactly.
Silver.
See this hair?
Because my ticket sales depend on him.
That's right.
God damn it.
February 28th, 1992. He's sniffing around the CBA, the Continental Basketball Association,
that we've dealt with with pretty much every NBA player we've dealt with.
If you fail out of the NBA, it doesn't matter how big of a fuck-up you are, who you've wronged,
what you've done, you're going to end up in the CBA.
Now, he says that he's not ready to play yet.
you're going to end up in the cba now uh he says that he's not ready to play yet uh one of the coaches there for the wichita falls texans said quote i talked to roy this morning in houston he
said he was not the wichita falls texans he says uh he was not ready to play in the cba just right
now sounds like a powerhouse of a team oh don't worry we'll talk about the wichita falls texans
you know how i love defunct shitty weird teams so we're gonna talk about that is wichita falls in
texas apparently so that's it'd be weird if it was in oklahoma they call them the texans that'd
be very strange or kansas yeah that'd be very weird here uh now john lucas is an ex-nba player
who's also a recovering addict who does uh he owns he he bought a a usbl team yeah united states basketball
league team basically to have it be an extension of aftercare for nba players who fucked up
basically so he can bring them in there and it's remarkable how many players are on his team he
ends up with richard dumas really ex-sons player oh he's a scumbag and was a piece of shit yeah
so stealing from the fucking uh from the Air Force base.
Nice guy.
Real good guy.
Great dude.
So he said that he's, you know, that he, Lucas told, Tarpley told Lucas that he wasn't ready to play yet.
But Lucas told him that you have to jump off the cliff at some point.
If you won't jump off, I'll jump off with you.
Oh.
So that sort of thing.
He's trying to help him.
Now, they end up both signing. If you won't jump off, I'll jump off with you. So that sort of thing. He's trying to help him.
Now, they end up both signing.
Dumas and Tarpley end up signing there with the Wichita Falls Texans.
So that's amazing here.
The Wichita Falls Texans were a continental basketball team here. They were located in Wichita Falls, Texas.
They played their games at the D.L. Ligon Coliseum,
located on the campus of Midwestern State University,
which sounds completely made up.
That's terrible.
That sounds like a sitcom's bad made-up college from the team.
Like, I go to Midwestern State, and you're like, uh-huh, that's funny.
They end up winning the CBA championship in 91.
Really?
Yeah, the team ends up relocating to chicago in 94 and becoming
the chicago rockers uh so that that wasn't great for it here and they ended up uh ended up also
relocating to lacrosse wisconsin the next year becoming the bobcats and then folding completely
so i love these piece of shit defunct teams are fantastic march 11th 1992 he makes his debut for wichita scores 18 points and has 16
rebounds okay in his in his debut here not bad at all shit the texans uh they end up losing the
game to tri-city that night though you know the powerhouse tri-city was back then jimmy how you
gonna how you gonna do that what wash-ups were playing for them i don't know tri-city off the
top of my head here now april 9th 1992 he is
talking about uh the miami tropics of the usbl which is john lucas's team here uh it's one of
nine teams there the uh the salaries you get about 300 bucks a week a week there which is uh an eight
week schedule they play in spring and through early summer you're making 2400 bucks pretty
much yeah you're not doing holy you're not doing well here
uh basically it's just uh it's you go there and hopefully an nba team will be able to send a scout
there and look at you and go well he doesn't look like he's on coke yeah and i saw him dunk so things
are going well 2400 bucks that's it uh like i said lucas said he bought it as a extension of
aftercare that's the way he put it yeah Also on this tropics team is Chris Washburn,
a top 10 draft pick from the 86 draft here.
They said at one point he's in Bermuda shorts on the bench.
He was way too fat to even play in the USBL,
which is saying something.
He said, quote, now that I'm not doing cocaine,
I'm always in somebody's refrigerator.
That's what Washburn said, so he's just a fat fuck here.
The team is playing.
Washburn is paying his legal expenses for him.
This John Lucas guy, apparently.
He has a three-year sentence for possession of narcotics paraphernalia.
And Lucas is paying for all his appeals, which is nice of him.
He said that he's traded in his cocaine addiction for candy bars
and cigarettes which i don't know how great that is i don't know that's a pretty good cocaine yeah
i mean you're not gonna your heart's not gonna explode on the spot anyway eventually now may
16th 1992 is his usbl debut and he's ejected in the first game wow they're testing him uh there's
some trash talking from a guy and uh the
guy spits at tarpley yeah apparently and tarpley threw another quote half-hearted swing at him
jesus his punches he doesn't throw with conviction he doesn't mean it he's just like
he's like roger on american dad right like knocks the shit off a desk right yeah and he just knocks
it down that's what he does yeah get away from me he had 21 points
when he was uh left the game he said he was pissed off that he was being bumped around but not getting
any fouls he said quote i'll have to adjust to that it wasn't the greatest debut but there's
always tomorrow no in the greatest debut you don't get thrown out of the game no the greatest debut
you're the highest scorer in the fucking game yeah definitely uh so he's the big deal for the
tropics man uh uh while he's the big deal for the tropics man uh
while he's under suspension they said he can reapply for reinstation to the nba in 1993
okay uh he says that quote i'm tired of the humiliation it's not easy walking in here and
into an empty high school gym uh so he says it's not great he said he's been spit on and punched
and people have been shitty to him and they call them names and they fuck with him. Well, yeah.
And it's like, yeah, because they're making fun of you because you got tossed out of the
league and now you're playing in a high school gym, you dumb fuck.
And you're getting tossed out of the very first game.
The first one.
For throwing a shit.
You didn't even sock him and be like, damn, Tarpley ain't taking any shit.
Right.
They were like, was that a punch?
What was that?
Just flail his arm up in the air.
By the end of the year, he's got a league leading 30.6 points a game and 16.7 rebounds.
There you go.
So he's dominating.
On May 31st in a game, he scored 26 points and had 28 rebounds, which is fucking amazing,
against the New Haven Skyhawks, which are, you know, a force, too.
You've got to understand.
Sure.
The legacy of the Skyhawks.
It's all white, too.
Are huge, probably.
We've talked about the Skyhawks.
We've talked about all these teams before, which is so funny.
Richard Dumas also had 26 points in that game.
Wow.
The tropics go all the way to the championship game where they beat the Philadelphia Spirits
116-114.
So that's another championship.
He won the championship the year before.
Where he goes, there's titles here.
He's also the USBL MVP that year.
When there's no other players that are good at this sport, he's really good at this sport.
Yeah, he's seven feet tall, and he's a good player.
July 3, 1992, he signs a two-year contract to play in Greece with Aris Salonika.
He says, quote, it's a new start for me in Europe, and I want to succeed.
The contract's worth $1.25 million wow not bad
it includes a free apartment a car and airline tickets for unspecified number of trips home
and the highest great deal that he's gotten so far not bad yeah that's great i'll go play in
greece that's better than 2400 jesus christ that sounds amazing uh he was like i said he's still
still under suspension uh the uh in this season he
wins the uh european wide second tier level fiba european cup whatever that is with sato
aris of greece the next year uh against the turkish super league club efis pilsen so that is
this is this was not easy shit to find by by the way. Yeah, I'm sure. The tournament's final took place in Turin.
He's the FIBA Support-A-Cup Finals top scorer.
Okay.
He has 25.6 points a game and 14.9 rebounds, so not bad.
By the way, for that season, Dallas still pays him 80 grand.
Wow.
They still have to pay him 80 grand.
There's some kind of weird stipend thing with a suspension where they still have to pay him something.
And he's getting paid from this team.
And he's got 1.2 million and a free apartment and car.
94, he plays with Olympiacos BS Parias in Greece, another team.
He averages 36.6 minutes a game and 20.9 points a game, 12.8 rebounds.
He leads the league in total rebounds.
They end up winning the greek league
and the greek cup that year again so where he goes he wins he's a winner and even later on they will
show a stat where uh teams that he's on when he's on when he's playing and when he's not and they
it's like they have like a 350 winning percentage without him and like a 600 with him he's crazy
he makes a fucking difference he's one of those guys he's a good player he's not worthless uh that sort of thing here so dallas again playing
paying him 80 grand for that season god that's incredible uh summer of 1994 he's sick for like
three weeks with pancreatitis he's got a problem he's very sick he's kind of weak uh that summer
uh september 30th 94 nba reinstates him okay so roy's back yeah 9th october of 1994
uh dallas takes him back before the season now he's been out for a couple years he's been over
in greece playing he's been dominating some shit florida team he's been doing his thing you know
getting around but what do you sign let's take a flyer on the guy give him like a 1.3 million
dollar one
year deal and see how he does think it's that high no no dallas i know how high it is all right
dallas said no no no let's lock him down uh he's a very dependable guy that we can count on so let's
sign him to a six year 25.8 million dollar contract what the fuck let's give the guy with a coke
problem and no self-control so 26 million dollars six year fucking commitment oh my god but part of it is if he's suspended for drugs then that contract's void
so it's not really that great of a risk although he hasn't played in the league in a couple years
and you don't know if he's still going to be a 26 million dollar player but it's worth the chance i
guess also you know that he does do drugs so he's going to fuck this up especially with that much
money right a 94 95 season dick mott is back he's he to fuck this up. Especially with that much money. Right. A 94-95 season, Dick Mott is back.
Oh, boy.
He got fired, and then years later he comes back for some reason here.
This is the teams here where they had Jim Jackson and Jason Kidd and Jamal Mashburn and George McLeod.
And this was an exciting Dallas team, actually.
A bunch of young players.
Yeah.
Tarpley says, deep down inside, I knew I'd be back.
I wasn't real vocal about it, but I talked with my family and some close friends only.
I know a lot of people are saying they should never let him back.
Well, why not?
He says, fucking, should I?
I paid my dues.
I made a mistake.
Should I pay forever?
I had determination and desire about this.
I wanted to show people and I wanted to show myself.
So he wants to show everybody what he can do.
Mata says, we know the history of drug defenders is not great.
They say you're off.
They say, God, this is amazing.
This is such like old man, old school thing.
They say you're still one sniff or snort away from oblivion.
And he brings that back, the oblivion thing.
So the jury still has to be out on him.
But I don't think we have any illusions.
A few years ago, he would have been the center of attraction on this this team but then he talks about how they have all these young players and he says we're not
expecting that much and not depending on him that much then why are you paying him 26 million dollars
that's so much money uh quote he's not going to break our hearts again uh at this point too he's
being counseled by hollywood henderson so what could go fucking wrong uh he arrives at camp uh
they realized he had pancreatitis and so they were
expecting him to not be in perfect shape but he's completely out of shape which is a problem yeah
they're not happy with now late october 1994 this is in training camp after he just signed a 26
million dollar deal yeah uh his car is found wrapped around a telephone oh fuck but he's not
in it and no one's to be found anywhere near it. Perfect. It was found wrecked and abandoned in North Dallas.
They confirmed this.
He says they told him that they found him the next day, and he says that he loaned the car to a friend, and he already talked to the Mavericks about the incident.
They said, quote, the car was discovered around 4 a.m., and we got two anonymous calls that the car had been wrecked.
We don't know who was behind the wheel.
and we got two anonymous calls that the car had been wrecked.
We don't know who was behind the wheel.
He says that his friend, who we couldn't identify,
we wouldn't identify him, did leave the scene of the accident,
but he later called police, so it's okay. I can pretty good guess who was behind the wheel.
Tarpley said he spent the night at a hotel,
and he had no idea what was going on, not involved in the incident,
and everybody believed him, kind of, until they came out with,
oh, by the way, an hour before this wreck,
he got a speeding ticket going 92 miles an hour in what car that car oh so unless in that hour he then passed it
off to one of his friends who wrapped it around a pole chances are he was driving 92 miles an hour
wrapped it around a fucking pole right at least he wasn't drunk so let's give him some credit there
yay roy good job buddy you did it you did big guy. So, yeah, he's having problems
now. So he's suspended without pay
for insubordination
here for a halftime
fight with Dick Mata. He's
all pissed off here. He's yelling
at the coach. Yeah, they got into a fight there.
I guess he said he
got pulled out of the game and he was pissed off
at it and complained loudly as he walked to the
bench. And at halftime, the coach said he was suspended he just told him you're suspended
so tarpley said quote he tried to kick me out of the locker room he was just shocked and pissed
off here january 6th 1995 the mavericks were concerned that he had abnormally hyper behavior
before a january 6th game against the pacers and they were worried it was linked to
drug use he had what abnormally hyper behavior okay that's how closely they're looking at him
yeah uh and uh they he says that he's in full uh compliance with the aftercare program uh his agent
says quote it's no secret roy has mood swings but he's had no major glitches the guy feels
speculation uh just fuel speculation just by being in a good mood.
Like, he comes in happy and like he had a good night's sleep
and you guys are fucking drug testing him.
You guys are yanking piss out of his body.
What's going on here?
I mean, he's got a record for this stuff.
That's what you do.
That's why they're like, oh, shit, is he on drugs?
He seems happy.
He says, Tarpley says, quote, I have good days and bad days like everybody else,
but I'm nothing like I used to be when I was using the drugs.
The drugs.
The drugs.
I love how he talks like an old man, too.
He spends too much time with Dick Mata here.
Now, January 16th, 1995, he says that he's not a role model.
Now he's not a role model anymore.
Before he couldn't, we got off on it before.
Right.
His whole inside of his car was sticky.
Right.
People recognizing him out on the street.
Now he's changed his mind.
He has advice for the kids.
And he says, quote, if any kid thinks he is thinking he wants to be like Roy Tarpley,
think again.
It ain't easy being me.
Around every corner is trouble.
Whether I'm looking for it or not, I'm always treated with double standards.
I've got to walk the line straighter than the next guy.
And that's not fair.
Well, it kind of is, actually, because you had a couple chances, too, where you didn't
have to walk that line. And now you you do everyone else has those same chances if
they fuck up twice they gotta walk a pretty fucking straight line after that jesus christ
uh he said he's super disenchanted about dallas he wants out of dallas he doesn't think this is
working anymore well it's also he knows he has too many friends there already that's the thing
he's never gonna be clean all his co-connections are there.
When he can get anything he wants.
He says, quote, I'd like to stay here, but I don't see it happening.
It seems like they think I'm a bad influence and I'm putting too much peer pressure on the younger guys.
I hear there are talks about me behind closed doors almost every day.
I'm not stupid.
I doubt if all those meetings are positive.
I'll always live in Dallas and I'd like to be a part of this growing team.
But if they make me leave, believe me, there will be no love lost.
If they make me leave.
If they make me leave, fuck them is what he's saying here.
So, yeah, he said he was pissed off from the minimal feedback from his coach.
And he says he's going to approach the Mavericks after the season to find out exactly where he stands.
God damn it.
He's pissed off.
He says he's proud of how far he's come back and cleaned up his life and how much he's contributed to the team but
he's never going to satisfy the fans and media in dallas it seems like they're all just waiting for
him to fail so he so they can come running and say i told you so right he said that's what i was
talking about when i said i was afraid to come back last summer even then i don't think it was
going to be this bad i mean if i don't act exactly the way people think i should it makes headlines please i've learned to become a couch potato that's okay all i can do
is be me and god knows i'm not perfect uh he says he's about 75 physically he has his faults like
everybody else but he's good now he's fine everything is fine fine. Until January 1995. There's an incident here.
That was fast.
A reporter, Richie Witt, has an interesting run in before the game with him.
He says that he walked into the Mavs locker room at Reunion Arena, and he was talking to Jason Kidd and Jim Jackson and Jamal Mashburn and the coach.
He says, as he turns to leave, there's Tarpley.
And this guy's name is Richie Witt.
He says, Tarpley's standing in his locker, arms out, stark naked, which is bringing back J.R. Ryder.
That's terrifying.
J.R. Ryder memories now.
They said he was swaying and half slurring and screaming.
So he shit-faced in the locker room with his dick swinging around.
Which I'm frightened right there.
No, I'm in.
Bad enough that his giant cock is around.
This is hilarious.
I'm a little worried if I'm this guy.
This guy yells quote
richie shit richie shit this is what tarpley's yelling at him richie shit because his name is
richie wit you little fucker i don't give a shit what you write you know why because
you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna go i'm going into my backyard and i'm gonna pee into that lake
i'm gonna i'm going to water it back and forth and back and forth like
a big sprinkler fill that fucker up that's what i'm gonna do and you can't do anything to stop
me so fuck you holy shit okay that's just some drunk shit uh he said on the way to the court
this is the reporter uh he pulled mav's owner don carter aside and told him that he might want to go
visit with uh with tarpley uh and uh but he said 45 minutes later tarpley started the game
uh he said the first pass to him slipped through his hands and went out of bounds
but he said he uh he ended up recovering by later on in the game because he's used to this
sure uh 55 games that year one started 24.6 minutes a game 2.6 uh points 8.2 rebounds, 1.1 assists. It's December 6th of 1995.
He is again thrown out of the league for violating the terms of his aftercare agreement by testing positive for alcohol.
Oh, boy.
This gets the Mavs out of $23 million in salary.
Wow.
$23 fucking million.
That's so much money.
For just to not drink. Yeah. 23. That's so much money. For just to not drink.
Yeah.
23.
That's all he had to do.
That's how much that shit has a hold on people.
Think about that.
Yeah.
People would, I don't give a shit that the most masculine fucking misogynistic asshole
would suck a dick right now in front of all of his kids for $23 million.
In front of all of his kids. He 23 million dollars in front of all of his
kids he'd say look how daddy juggles the balls kids this is how you got to do it to earn that
or one bud light or what dude jesus christ man uh so yeah this the the team is just pissed they
basically say they're completely done with him uh the alcohol results only reported trace amounts
but he's not supposed to be drinking at all. That shows he drinks something.
That's a problem.
He's pissed off.
He says, you tell me what's going on here.
He said a guy got busted for weed last week, and he said marijuana isn't a big deal, but alcohol is.
This was a bum deal for me to ever come back to Dallas.
This whole deal is bull, especially making me lose all that money.
Oh, boy.
You drank.
You knew to fucking stop drinking.
And you do drugs, and you get behind the wheel of a car, and you do fuck and you do drugs and you get behind the
wheel of a car and you do all kinds of stuff that costs you a lot of money stop drinking for fucking
five years and then you can drink all you want and you'll have millions of fucking dollars to do and
you're gonna need that booze now he says quote i'm gonna walk away and hold my head up they didn't
have to do this to me i'll just keep doing what i've been doing i'm in the best shape of my life
the thing i know is i'll never make that kind of money again,
but I'm going to make a living.
I'm going to be all right.
No, he's not.
I'm going to tell you now.
No, he's not.
He can petition for reinstatement at any time,
but the ban is, they're saying it's permanent this time.
He's embarrassed the league.
He's exhausted the considerable patience of Maverick's management.
Middle-aged, silver-haired, middle-aged Sanju says, quote, he didn't want to be helped my guest my best guess i think he'll continue to
drink i think he'll continue to be in denial and blame everyone else for his problems i fear for
him uh so anyway uh tarpley said that the that the mavs were the bad guys and he said quote they're
out of my contract which called for 25.8 million over six years and that's what they wanted i'm
going to hang my head high so much money he. I'm going to hang my head high.
That's so much money.
He said, I'm going to hang my head high,
which I don't think he got that metaphor.
But $25 million, James, what would you do for that?
Anything.
That's so much money.
Not drink, not breathe, lop a pinky off.
There's a lot I'd do for $23 million.
I don't need anywhere near that money.
I don't make shit, and people wouldn't do this for what we do it for.
I'll tell you that much.
Fucking what we work, the amount of fucking hours here.
So for $23 million.
You would pay 60 hours a week for $25 million.
I do that for way less than that.
So yeah, absolutely.
That's unbelievable.
So he makes $3 million that year, though, so that's a good parting gift.
Unbelievable.
So he makes $3 million that year, though, so that's a good parting gift.
His NBA totals, because he's suspended for done now, 280 games, 57 games started, 26.7 minutes a game, 12.6 points, 10 rebounds even, 1 assist, 1.2 blocks.
So he averaged a double-double, which isn't terrible.
That's not bad here.
1996, he signs in Greece with Arachlis,id who jesus christ uh it's a greek professional team here uh they're actually a decent team here they actually have uh at this point in 96 they have
xavier mcdaniel yeah who was a crazy son of a bitch in the ball from the nba giant yeah the
x-man yeah absolutely they go to the greek Greek Final Four there that year. Dallas still has to pay him $775,000 for that season for some reason.
Wow.
I don't know how that works.
He ended up total making $5,720,000 in the NBA.
Wow.
So not too shabby.
That's a lot of cash.
It's a lot, and he's doing okay in Greece, too.
In 97, he plays with Arachlis again here.
March 18, 1997, he has some problems uh there's a
woman here uh a woman he's uh spacek is her last name uh she is uh at uh her home on marsh lane
there when uh tarpley shows up at her front door yelling and banging on the door drunk as fuck
drunk and angry he's yelling quote why are you lying to me and banging on the door drunk as fuck drunk and angry he's yelling quote why are
you lying to me and banging on the door oh my god at least he has clothes on but still this sounds
dangerous here it does uh he entered the front door he comes in grabs her by the wrists and
throws her on the couch and begins choking her oh boy uh so much so that the police said that her
throat was visibly swollen when they arrived. That's a choking.
So it's not a good joke.
That's not a good joke. It's not for fun.
And it's not like she made some marks on herself.
This was some giant person fucking choked her visibly.
They said with his hands wrapped around her neck, she said that he kept yelling, you're going to take this to your death.
Oh, my God.
So that's a bad thing.
That's terrifying.
Apparently, she breaks free, Spacek, once, but Tarpley catches her and starts choking her again, which seems terrifying.
She said that she told police that Tarpley was trying to kill her, and that's what she thought.
She finally breaks free, squirms away, and runs out of the apartment.
Tarpley follows her and tries to drag her back inside.
Oh, my God.
But finally lets her go when two passersby saw him
and start talking about it, and then he stops.
So she ended up being able to run away from there.
Correct.
The paramedics had to come.
Her injuries were severe enough.
They treated her, but she wouldn't file charges against him.
She claims it's her boyfriend, by the way, still married.
And five months later, she moves into his apartment.
What the fuck?
Five months later, she's like, this relationship is going great.
Let's take it to the next level.
You can't do that.
Ridiculous.
So September of 1997, she's lived there for a month, and she calls police again.
Of course.
This time, she said Tarpley yanked her out of the back seat of the a cab that she was trying to uh she was trying to leave their apartment after a fight yeah she got
a cab he wasn't through fighting apparently because he opened the door yanked her ass out
and threw her on the ground uh she managed to get away and uh took another taxi to a friend's house
where she called the cops uh dallas police found him at home and arrested him again. But again, no charges filed.
None.
Nothing.
What the fuck?
No fucking charges filed,
which is insane.
Holy shit.
Now, you would hope,
the reason why they file charges
is to maybe just deter next time
because the penalties will be more severe.
Also to keep track of the fucking crazies.
Yeah, well, that's the thing.
And it also,
so if they do it again, it's worse.
Like November 19th, 1997,
I really would have wished that those two incidents
would have been charges filed
because here he's fighting with Alicia Spacek again.
This is a fight over money that he took from her, apparently.
Oh, my God.
He's resorted to stealing from his girlfriends.
Yeah, this time witnesses hear screaming,
called the cops.
Apparently, they've been arguing about money that he took from her.
She told police that she was lying on the floor and crying when Tarpley started burning her on the stomach and side with a clothes iron.
What an asshole.
With a fucking clothes iron.
Oh, my God.
Police said that her burn was at least six inches long but she refused medical
treatment for it uh spacek told officers that tarpley burned her he put his hand over her mouth
and kept telling her to shut up because she was screaming as he was burning her with a fucking
iron jesus christ of course she was screaming dick uh police arrived arrested tarpley and they
gave spacey uh spacek a card that had uh phone numbers of family violence
counselors sure uh which they'd done before and she had never fucking called uh he's been arrested
now three times for beating the same 23 year old woman which is fucking insane that ridiculous god
damn it uh on every arrest report too he gives his occupation as pro basketball player but the
employer is listed as unknown i don't know who employs me. Nobody. One of these days, I'm going to get a paycheck from somebody.
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Now, on top of this, on unrelated cases, they said that they also issued warrants for Tarpley's arrest for unpaid $105 speeding ticket and $162 citation for not appearing in court in connection with the ticket.
As a guy that drives like an asshole, I drive crazy everywhere.
There's no way that if I get a ticket, I'm not paying it.
There's no way that's going to happen ticket i'm not paying it there's no way that's gonna do it jesus and denton county also was uh seeking his arrest on an unrelated
aggravated assault charge oh boy somewhere else that didn't get reported on here that's what he's
doing too he's been oh he's been with this woman for two years even though he just got divorced
from his wife in july great uh it's this is a stormy relationship we'll say so this now he's actually
fucking arrested sure now he's actually goddamn arrested finally behind bars finally behind but
for a minute because they're gonna let him go of course he's behind but he's fucked everything up
yeah he's fucking blown everything everything he's had money he's had fame he's had support
that he got off on the kids liking him that's crazy. The inside of his car was covered in goo. It was fucking terrible.
But he was doing well.
And now he's sitting there in jail.
They finally release him.
You know what I mean?
He gets out of fucking jail.
He's like, Jesus Christ, what do I do with myself?
You know, he calls up Mark Aguirre.
Yeah.
There's no answer at Mark Aguirre's house.
So he goes over there and he's like, where's Mark?
Where's Mark?
And he looks out.
Mark's not home.
But he hears some action going on across the street. And turns and he looks on the porch and it's estafes
jones mma fighter and 70s blaxploitation film villain and he says
motherfucker how is it you come to arrive here man what the fuck is wrong with you man
ridiculous no seriously man this is you a stupid motherfucker and i've been looking back
now you had some game you came out of a shit neighborhood you got money and shit i'm like
he knows how to play these motherfuckers and then you fucking 25 million motherfucker
not only would i stop doing cocaine for 25.8 but i'll go around and get every motherfucker
on earth not to do cocaine. Do you understand that?
I will eradicate cocaine
from this earth
for $25 million.
You can't even stop doing it,
you stupid-ass motherfucker.
You a sad motherfucker.
You sorry?
And I'm rooting against you.
I'm just telling you that right now.
I'm rooting against you.
I don't give a fuck, man.
Fuck you.
Publicly roots against him.
Publicly rooting against him.
Estevez Jones
is going to be at the games
going, man, fuck Roy Tarpley, no matter who you play for.
I don't give a shit what shit-ass team is going to hire you for $200 a game.
Man, fuck you.
Poof.
In a poof of leopard skin and gold chains, he's gone.
And Roy's very confused.
He was also angry.
He is a vicious man.
Because he was like, that seems like a guy I could have got coke from.
Yeah.
And he disappeared.
I was going to ask him if he had any.
Seems very resourceful.
I could have got coke from and he disappeared.
I was going to ask him if he had any.
Seems very resourceful.
Now, December 19th, Alicia Spacek, his long-suffering girlfriend who's been beat up three times and burned with an iron and everything else.
That's fucking nuts.
Well, it gets worse for her.
She's killed in a traffic accident.
Oh, my God.
On the LBJ freeway.
Jesus.
Killed on the side of the road after she flipped her BMW.
The driver of a Ford Explorer didn't see her and two other people trying to help her and ended up then striking all three of them as this happened.
So then the people helping her also got killed.
Now, Spacek was on the phone with Roy when she when this happened.
Yeah.
Tarpley told them that he thought the line just went dead.
He thought he just lost her rather than her being hit by a car and killed he had no idea no clue until until after it happened here uh january
1998 he is living in dallas he's living in an apartment owned by mark aguirre boy so he's down
on his luck uh dead girlfriend that he no no girlfriend to beat up anymore right uh so uh he
says that uh uh they're trying to get tarpley help
uh they're trying to keep his name out of the papers they're basically saying here uh they they
mcguire got an attorney to take on tarpley's case if uh guire uh if tarpley agreed to go to rehab
which uh he said he would demand before tarpley took the case so we'd know he was serious
1998 he goes back to greece and plays again for apollon uh
lima sol great this is their full team name is pizza express primatella pollen oh my god so it's
like the filipino teams whether we talked about with billy ray bates or some shit now now april
28th 1998 an arrest warrants issued for him uh because he didn't show up for the trial for the
november domestic violence incident the one that actually got, you know, actually got charged here.
Sergeant Daryl Watson said court records indicated a warrant had been prepared for Tarpley,
whose whereabouts are unknown.
His attorney had been trying to locate him for a week.
When your attorney can't get a hold of you, that's not great.
Even like on the wire, when the kids disappeared and they shot keema the everybody the levy knew
how to get a hold of him is what i'm saying they knew that shit and they were like you get a hold
of that guy for us we got to make a deal with him so that's how it happens here uh he has ends up
being fined and sentenced to two years probation after pleading guilty to the assault charge uh
for this is this is uh so that's it there so now keep in mind he's on probation. That's a problem, okay?
1999, he plays for Apollon again.
Also 1999, he plays for Esperos, some other Greek team.
What the fuck is that?
Doesn't matter.
Moving on.
Fuck Esperos.
June of 2000, there's a problem here.
The whole thing with his girlfriend being killed on the side of the road.
Right.
That's coming back on him.
Uh-oh.
There's a case brought against him by the estate of kimber ray sean royal who was the good samaritan who was killed trying to help
his girlfriend he owned the bmw by the way which makes him responsible for a lot of this apparently
shit uh apparently this woman went to help uh spacek uh who was behind the wheel of the car
that tarpley owned yeah spacek and royal were standing on the side of the road by tarpley's car so this woman flipped the bmw survived got out was like poof that was
rough and then got hit by a car jesus christ after she'd been burned by an iron talk about a fucking
rough year this lady had here uh so yeah then another car hit them and hit the car and it
rolled over and uh yeah so both women died from the impact.
Now, this woman's mother, the Good Samaritan,
brought the case against Tarpley while he was playing overseas,
arguing that he negligently let Spacek use his car
despite her record of driving while intoxicated
and other violations.
Oh, boy.
Which doesn't make sense because,
I don't know, it's weird.
Anyway, he wasn't present when the accident occurred
and he didn't present a defense for this litigation because they didn't even know if he knew about it because he's in Greece.
And the process servers don't really get over to Greece very well.
They don't travel too well.
No, it's very rare.
So in June of 2000, a Denton County judge awarded two judgments against him, one on
behalf of Georgia Royal and one for her daughter's estate.
According to court records, the judgments were worth about 4.2 million
dollars including 750 000 impunitive damages god i want that money uh yeah so that's his thing not
like wow that's tough god i want that money me too uh so they they even said that they didn't
think that tarpley was ever even served with this so he couldn't even present a defense which is
kind of shitty i guess here 2000 2001 he plays for the beijing olympians oh boy which sounds great right there that's what you want to
play for beijing olympians were officially disbanded in 2013 so there's another there's
another uh defunct team for you that's so crazy february 21st 2003 roy tarpley is now jailed for
violating his probation by playing overseas it's about about time. Because he was on probation, yet he went out of the country
when he wasn't allowed to leave the state.
Not great here.
He was fined and sentenced to two years of probation,
like we said before.
He turned himself in to deputies.
He wasn't allowed to leave the state of Texas.
He had asked for permission to travel to Europe
to continue playing basketball,
but the probation officers rejected his request
and he just went anyway oh he just said okay thanks and then got on a plane left i'd like to
go no okay i'm going okay i'm going anyway he played in greece china russia and a bunch of
other countries while he was doing that for this little uh excursion around the world here he uh
could be sentenced up to a year in jail for this well Well, yeah. So here he is in court on February 17, 2003.
And it's not even much of a court because it's not like a trial.
Right.
Because he violated his probation.
That's just sentencing.
And they tell him, you, sir, may fuck off.
They actually send him to jail.
He accepts a 90-day sentence.
And he gets credit for time served.
And he ends up serving 33 days in jail.
Jesus.
So how's that for fuck off?
Wow.
Not much of a fuck off.
This is for violating probation for an assault.
So for burning a woman with an iron, he ends up in the end getting 33 days in jail for three assaults.
I can't imagine.
I'm calling that 11 days per horrible assault, which doesn't seem like enough.
Doesn't seem like enough.
No, that seems a bit of a...
That's a bargain.
That's a bargain.
That is a bargain.
So he's there.
Yeah, he's not allowed to leave.
And so, Jesus Christ, that poor woman, she had the worst year.
She got beaten up by him three times and then had a horrible car accident, survived.
It stood there like, how'd that happen?
And then was hit by a car and died.
Ridiculous. Fucking incredible. Imagine the the mavericks how many chances they gave him
his mom everything he's ruining his father roy senior's name i feel bad for all these people
jimmy all these people but not nearly as bad as i feel for roy tarpley yeah just professional
that's all that's it right tarpley he's a professional
he's embarrassed people so much they don't even want to say where they live that's awesome
roy tarpley a heavy equipment operator from amarillo texas yeah so look out for him uh
roy w tarpley just a guy from quote from the panhandle of texas that's all it says about
him that's it so roy tarpley from the panhandle. I feel bad for you, homie.
Jesus Christ.
So July 3rd, 2003, Tarpley's out of jail.
He's training for a return, he says, to the NBA.
He says he's going to get back in the NBA.
Really?
He hasn't played in eight years, by the way.
And he says he's going to get back in there.
He's going to reply for reinstatement.
He's going to do it.
He's been having some financial problems that have been building for years.
What he ends up doing is he's released after serving 33 days in jail, and he files for personal bankruptcy.
Of course.
Which makes sense.
Because he's got no goddamn money.
No, and two judgments against him totaled about $8.5 million, because those two were 4.2 each uh from the death of uh that woman who tried to
help his girlfriend good so 8.5 million dollars there he listed total assets of 1 000 what is
that like eight pairs of like what is it some shoes i have some leftover nikes that i have
it's a walk-in no 1 000 1 000 that's what i meant. A thousand dollars. That's not a lot.
That's nothing.
For assets, I can't.
I've got a thousand dollars in fucking easily.
Stuff?
I would hope so.
I own a dirt bike.
Most people have a thousand dollars worth of stuff.
I own a dirt bike.
I definitely have a thousand dollars worth of stuff.
You said that so fucking proudly.
I'm so proud of myself.
You said that so proudly.
So proud.
I've got more than this man.
That's the proudest any adult man has ever proclaimed.
Quote, I have a dirt bike.
I am important, for I have a dirt bike.
I have a dirt bike.
When everyone else can't go off the trail, I can.
Damn it.
I'll go right over that hill and no one will stop me.
Can't go off the trail.
I can.
Damn it.
I'll go right over that hill and no one will stop me.
He says that in the thousand dollars consisting mostly of clothes, a watch and some change.
Oh, I thought he was going to say some change.
Some change.
I got a handful of change and Chad Curtis's noodles.
That's what he's basically doing.
So, you know where he could have paid that off if he would have.
I don't know. Got that $25.8 million contract.
That might have helped.
So much money.
His bankruptcy attorney here.
This is amazing.
His bankruptcy attorney.
He has no income except for people in his chart and his things here.
He and the creditors meeting.
He said he's been unemployed for four years and he's staying with an unnamed friend in Arlington.
Tarpley indicated this person had fed and otherwise provided for him as he
didn't have any income.
His bankruptcy attorney said that Tarpley has quote,
a wonderful girlfriend who has been providing him with a $10,000 weekly
allowance.
What does she do to quote,
take care of his situation?
My Christ,
I would call her a wonderful girlfriend.
That's the perfect way to put that.
Silver haired,
middle-aged white woman.
Yes, exactly.
Which she probably is.
She's probably like 70 years old.
I'm like, here you go, sweetheart.
I'll give him like a rich woman.
Also, too, he says the family helps him out.
The lawyer says that, quote, her family cares for him deeply.
So he found some woman with a rich family that's going to give him a shitload of money.
Ridiculous.
So he found some woman with a rich family that's going to give him a shitload of money.
Ridiculous. He has about $9,000 in credit card bills, $36,348 in federal tax liabilities, and California
state tax bill of $13,324 from 1995.
He's got a problem.
His divorce is what wiped him out, too.
Of course.
His wife, ex-wife, took most of his money, which she deserved because he was screwing everything that moved and then beating these women up to a top of it and embarrassing the fuck out of her.
At this point, his lawyer says that Tarpley is staying in Houston with John Lucas, the coach, the owner of the Miami Tropics back then, who runs a substance abuse program there.
Tarpley has successfully completed another 35 day substance abuse program, and his lawyer says he's remained drug and alcohol free.
He says he still wants to play in the NBA, obviously.
He says, quote, I feel like I have unfinished business there, you know, to collect money to get out of debt.
That's generally unfinished business.
Right.
He says, quote, if I can get another opportunity to play in the league, I'm going to hold on for dear life.
I miss it so much, and I took it for granted before.
I will never do that again uh but when they asked him uh in the creditors meeting whether he might
play ball again he said he was considering quote just coaching right now i think okay because he's
you know yeah fucking 40 and broke and broke so it doesn't work like that uh 2003 the nba denies
his application for reinstatement even though he's passed several drug tests
over the last four years.
Now, this is important because the EEOC, the equal opportunity people here, they review
the NBA's exercise of discretion in this matter and found that the NBA discriminated against
Tarpley and violated the Americans with Disabilities Act when it refused to reinstate him in 2003.
Is he getting free money?
Specifically, the EEOC found that Tarpley provided NBA with adequate evidence establishing that he was qualified to play in the league, no longer abused alcohol, no longer used drugs.
He files a lawsuit claiming that the discrimination against him was by refusing reinstatement on the basis of his disability as a recovering alcoholic and drug abuser.
So that's going to go on in court for a while.
That's just he files that, and they haven't sued yet, but they file that to get it going.
2003, 2004, he joins the Sioux Falls Sky Force of the CBA.
As we know, just a top-notch team there.
They are currently an NBA G League team.
Not D League, G League.
Also on this team at the time, the Sioux Falls Sky Force, Cedric Sabalis playing for that team.
Yeah.
The long-retired Cedric Sabalis here.
He's almost dead, too, by the way.
He's had a heart attack.
Yeah.
He's in bad shape.
He is.
Cedric Sabalis is in bad shape.
We like Cedric Sabalis here at Diamond Sports.
Good for you, Ced.
Good dude.
Not dying yet.
Yeah.
Now, team goes 23 and 25 that he plays for.
That's not good.
March 24, 2005, he appears.
Tarpley goes to a Mavericks game as a fan and just hangs out in the stands.
Really?
And, of course, they talk to him, the press.
And he says, quote, I've got some big news happening soon.
It ain't over yet.
Which I think it's over, Roy.
Let's just say it's over.
Hang him up.
Yeah.
You know, he says there are teams that are actually interested in him.
Get out of here.
Teams are making phone calls around to see if he's hanging out with old people.
To who?
To him?
Insane, right?
Why do you want him?
He's 40 years old.
It makes no sense.
40-year-old big men usually aren't the things you want.
No.
They last to 33.
Yeah.
You're that big.
Your knees, your hips, your ankles, your feet.
It hurts.
It doesn't go well.
Yeah.
Watch Shaq walk.
He doesn't look like it feels good.
It's not good.
Not good.
2005, he signs with Dodge City Legend.
That's the team he signs with of the USBL again.
Jesus Christ.
They're located in dodge city
kansas which i thought was a ghost town they have a team say it again they're located in dodge city
kansas dodge city it's a ghost town right yeah i didn't i thought that was just that's where
white herp was the fucking that's some old west shit apparently they have a baseball team or
basketball team here ridiculous they won three usbl titles here including in 2005 when tarpley plays it still
exists for real uh yeah well they've got buildings and shit not now but you know then uh the legend
uh the legend apparently drew their fans from surrounding towns like garden city and liberal
which is an odd name for a town in uh in kansas yeah anyway oliver miller once played for this
team oh that guy so there's a fuck up who's played for all of these teams so uh he wins the championship that's so sad that guy isn't that sad what a heartbreaking
moment just just his whole life just kept getting fatter and fatter and his whole life sucks i know
man i feel bad for that guy kind of now kind of kind of and then he also just a complete fuck up
he also had the chance to piss away a lot of just
fine yeah like i said i'd be living fine with the money he made yeah no doubt so uh of course i don't
make that money to know how i would live maybe i'd be a fucking disaster i would have no idea i don't
know i'd love to find out yeah let's find out so july we won't july 2006 roy sues the nba officially
the eeoc is backing him up on this.
Okay.
While that's going on, he goes and plays for the Michigan Mayhem of the CBA.
Again, they previously played in Grand Rapids, where they were known as the Grand Rapids Hoops and the Grand Rapids Mackers.
Citing a lack of community support, the team announced in 2006 that it would not return.
So that's another defunct team.
The people of Grand Rapids have had enough?
They have had enough.
They don't want their own basketball team?
Nope.
Now, a reporter, a guy named Terry Foster, encounters Roy,
and he said he met him here.
He meets him at his apartment to do a story on him
while he's playing for this team for Michigan.
And he says, Roy tells this guy,
that his goal was to show NBA teams he could play
and hope to be reinstated.
During the reporter's visit there, a cable installer came by.
And they said he had, like, no furniture in his apartment.
It was kind of a sad apartment.
And Tarpley's credit was so bad that the cable guy said that Tarpley had to pay $20 in cash to get the service started.
Tarpley didn't have $20 in cash.
Oh, no service.
And he said, sorry, I don't have the $20 in cash.
So the reporter gave the guy $20.
That was nice.
And Tarpley said, thanks, I appreciate it,
and was like, whatever.
But he was so bad he couldn't get his cable turned on
because he didn't have $20, which is crazy.
That's depressing.
May 17, 2007, the EEOC rules that the NBA violated
the American Disabilities Act when it refused to
reinstate Tarpley. On September 26, 2007, Tarpley filed a lawsuit against the NBA and the Mavericks
in United States District Court. In the suit, Tarpley claims the NBA discriminated against him
again when they refused to reinstate him because he was a recovering drug addict and an alcoholic.
refused to reinstate him uh because he was a recovering drug addict and an alcoholic also in the lawsuit uh the nba he tells about the nba dismissing him in the late of in 1995 for testing
positive for alcohol yeah his blood alcohol level was 0.003 okay which is super low yeah but still
you can't do that yeah it's still you can't have that in your system that's like if he waited
another half hour he wouldn't have you wouldn't have come in your system. That's like if he waited another half hour, he wouldn't have come up.
Probably would have just had to pee once.
Yeah, he would have had to pee once here.
So what ends up happening is he's suing for money.
He sought, in the original lawsuit against, with the EEOC complaint, he sought at least $6.5 million.
Oh, my God.
So we'll see what happens here.
On August 1st, the EEOC officially sides with him.
happens here on August 1st, the EEOC officially sides with him.
And August of 2008,
the court seals the case for discovery and makes it no more publicly
available documents to come up because in January of 2009,
the case settles for undisclosed terms.
I wonder how much he got.
They sealed everything.
It's over a mil.
The NBA is not letting this out.
And all these articles were like,
that's 100 from
the nba yeah the nba wanted none of this shit out they didn't want anybody thinking that because
you were a drug addict and you got kicked out of the week you can win that you can sue them and win
however much because if someone heard he got six million dollars oh there will be more lawsuits
tomorrow druggies yeah which so many rock heads for right or wrong who knows but you know whatever
frivolous or otherwise they're still filing them.
Exactly, man.
Just on the off chance that they'll fucking win.
Yeah.
So the funny thing is, he settles in January 2009, and then he goes quiet.
Yeah.
Radio fucking silence.
Weird.
This guy doesn't show up in Mavs games, doesn't beat up any women, doesn't get any DUIs, doesn't
wrap any Mercedes around poles.
Sure.
Chills the fuck out.
Yeah. You don't hear a word from him for six years six years six years goes by we just covered from 1981 to
2009 how much time did we skip ever six months at the most yeah we went through this whole thing
there's always something happening except for now finally now uh it's he disappears. No one knows what happens to him.
Where's Roy Tarpley?
What's he doing?
Is he okay?
January 10th, 2015, he dies.
Dead.
Fucking dead at age 50.
How?
Absolutely dead.
The medical examiner didn't list the cause of death at first, but in the end, his family and other people said it was his liver.
He had liver failure.
Yeah.
Probably from fucking drinking. Drugs and drinking will ruin your your your fucking liver yeah is is that's the
one that regenerates and drinking will kill it so this guy that yep he died uh he died at texas
health arlington memorial hospital uh he yeah it's one of those things he got that money he
disappeared he probably went back to his house and just went and drank himself yeah she's like crazy into oblivion he didn't
think about it if he's not playing basketball it doesn't have to pass any tests if as long as he
doesn't get duis no one's gonna know what he's doing he's gonna just go disappear so he does uh
post death here after his death uh the dallas mavericks organization released a statement
saying they're deeply saddened upon
hearing of the death of their former six man of the year roy tarpley uh he said our deepest
condolences go out to his family mads fans fans everywhere will remember him fondly brad davis
the mavericks radio analyst said quote if roy had stayed healthy could have been one of the
he could have been one of the top 50 players ever he could do it all shoot score rebound pass and
defend we're all sorry to hear of, rebound, pass, and defend.
We're all sorry to hear of his passing and rebounding and shooting and defending.
That's awfully optimistic of him.
He was a great player.
The top 50 is a little extreme.
But, I mean, he would have been an all-star.
You know, a good player.
Mark Aguirre said, quote, he was one of the kindest people you ever wanted to meet.
We had no issues, none at all, no problems.
He was just a big practical joker.
He was full of love and joy.
Let me put it this way.
He didn't have an evil spirit in his heart.
He had a great big heart.
I know he did a lot of things wrong and he had some difficult issues,
but he was a kind-hearted person.
There were a lot of people
who took advantage of his kindness,
like that poor girl who was lying down
screaming and crying and being burned with an iron.
He said, quit taking advantage of my kindness.
I tried to steal your money and now I'm burning you because i'm so fucking kind such a nice guy so if you're sad about roy tarpley right now just remember the victims burned a woman with an iron
a 23 year old woman with a fucking iron man so i can't get enough of roy tarpley's insanity
uh on ebay you can get a poster uh mba basketball Roy Tarpley, Dallas Mavericks with his goggles and everything.
Amazing.
Free shipping here, $8.97, $8.97 with free shipping.
That's a great deal.
That's not bad.
That sounds, that's a pretty cool poster too.
Amazon.com, 1991 upper deck basketball card.
That's near mint, $1.
Oh.
$3.49 shipping now.
Come on now. and now here's
another thing he's on celebrity net worth uh first of all so are you i'm getting to that
when you look up like i wonder how much money that guy has like people do don't look it up and go oh
he's got 40 million dollars they don't know shit no they say on celebrity net worth that he has two
million dollars okay which he might have from the settlement or whatever but i still don't know shit no they say on celebrity net worth that he has two million dollars okay which
he might have from the settlement or whatever but i still don't believe it because he was bankrupt
at one point and still owed a shitload of money and also he's dead and for six years he didn't
work and all he did was spend and i know that that's bullshit because i was on celebrity net
worth this is how bullshit it is a i'm not a celebrity so that's number one right b the they had a video
on it right jimmy doing stand-up on my page and it said i had 150 000 which i most certainly don't
fucking have i absolutely do not have 150 000 of anything i owe money for things and i have none
of my own i have a dirt bike yeah jimmy's got a dirt bike i got a dirt
bike that would have been great that's that ends it yeah where was your page with just dirt bike
under it just a picture of a dirt bike with you standing next to it with your thumb up
i got a honda that would have been amazing and finally there's a profile for him even though
he's dead on danger dating.com basically warning women not to fuck him just see this guy don't
fuck him get away from him it has his address yeah his stats his arrests it says he beats up women
and he's been beating up women for a long time that we need more of that that shit is incredible
women that's good for that's awesome keep that going keep that shit going do that and that my
friends is roy tarpley. Wow.
Holy shit.
What a goddamn disaster that guy was.
What a fucking tale, man.
Ridiculous.
That's a crazy tale.
Cocaine, chances, alcohol, booze, beatings.
It's a mess.
Not just that.
He just fucking weaseled his way into being able to take care of himself.
And then in the end, yeah, he ended up being able to take care of himself.
Going, for once, the cocaine can work for me.
Right.
And not against me here.
This is great.
Unbelievable.
So that's Roy Tarpley.
If you liked that story, everybody, please, please get on iTunes and give us five stars if you would.
It doesn't matter what you say.
Tell us you're following instructions, following directions.
Honestly, it doesn't matter.
If that's not enough for you and you're a fantastic superstar, amazing human being like this list of people that Jimmy has in front of him right now.
My goodness.
These people are our hearts.
Yeah.
They really make it so we can do things and talk shit and be we can be freewheeling and we can be ourselves and we don't have to worry about things because we don't really care if advertisers like us as much as we care if you guys like us because that's
you matter you matter to us honestly
and you guys matter financially you guys
everything we have off of this
we have from you guys so thank you guys so much
if you want to make a donation you can go to
patreon.com slash crime
in sports or you can do it over
at PayPal using our email address crime
in sports at gmail.com if
you want to get a hold of the show you can do that on Instagram and Twitter at crime
and sports, crime and sports at gmail.com or facebook.com slash.
What do you think it is?
Crime in sports.
You got it, Jimmy.
Now that said, why don't you hit us with that list of the best people in the world?
Hit us with it, Jimmy.
Truly, we can't do this without each and every one of you guys.
Thank you guys so much.
People like Megan Smith, who donated twice this week.
Thank you so much, Megan.
The executive producers this week happen to be Chrissy Ann Costaldi, Megan Schmelzenbach.
I think that's it.
That's a good one.
That was amazing.
Holy shit.
Wow.
Thank you.
We don't talk about what the dollar figures are, but the money that We were blown away by that. The money that she gave was so helpful.
Thank you.
That really.
And so sweet.
That was, wow.
An unbelievably generous thing to do.
So thank you so much, Megan.
We actually called each other over that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can you believe that?
That's amazing.
What the fuck?
Oh, my God.
What a nice person.
Do we deserve that?
Thank you so much.
And then Don Holloway's as well.
Yeah, incredible.
Fucking insane.
God damn it.
Thank you so much.
Seriously, guys.
Sarah Gilbo continues every week to send something incredibly generous to you.
You guys make it so we have a studio to improve the sound on.
This is what I mean.
Yeah, we've got shit to do here because of you guys.
But we have really cool equipment and we'll make it happen.
That's true.
Laura Odom, Sarah Carter, Alice King, Jeanette Holm, Marissa Wells, Brian Dennehy.
Fuck.
Dennehy.
D-E-N-E-H-Y. Brian Dennehy gave us money. Awesome. Thanks, Brian Dennehy. Fuck. Dennehy? D-E-N-E-H-Y.
Brian Dennehy gave us money.
Awesome.
Brian Dennehy gave us cash.
Thanks, Brian Dennehy.
The Color Chick.
I imagine she does people's hair, right?
That's got to be, right?
Color Chick.
Yeah, that seems right.
Who knows, though?
Maybe she makes colors.
Google her and pay that girl some money.
Give her cash.
Brianna Krantz donated both ways through PayPal and through Patreon.
Jeremy Sterk.
I think that's right.
Kapow Designs.
Kapower.
Thank you so much.
Yes.
Linda Bone.
Marcus Redwine.
Redwine.
Yes.
David Houghton.
Damn it.
Ah, fuck.
Hofton.
Ah, fuck.
H-O-U.
Shit.
Dan Rogers has been fantastic for the past few weeks.
Yeah, man.
Thanks, Dan.
Thanks for everything. Thanks for everything. Kimberly Huggins, Melissa Schmaltz
Betty Bice, thank you so much
Alex Marchi
Elizabeth Heitbrink
I think that's right
Jake LaBeer, Jacqueline Hall
she's terrific on Snapchat too
thank you Jacqueline
John Rita, Megan Smith
I mentioned her already.
Thank you. Megan, you're fantastic.
Thank you. We appreciate it. Eric Mauger.
Michael Carfunkel.
Carfunkel. Yeah. And Michael
Kennedy, too. I know a Mike Kennedy.
He wouldn't give us money.
Never. And that's fine, too, because I wouldn't
want a dime from that fuck.
This Mike Kennedy, thank you. He needs that money.
This Mike Kennedy is fantastic. Thank you.
Timothy Young, David Grimes.
Shit.
Shannon Feltus. Oh, yeah, yeah. Shannon Feltus.
Yeah, yeah. She did. Yeah, thank you.
Thank you, Shannon. Jesse Cartman.
No, Hartman. God damn it.
Elizabeth Britton.
Britton. B-R-I-T-T-I-N.
So you sound like an asshole trying to pronounce Britton.
Yeah, maybe it's Brighton
It could be
Laura Hampson
Carol Braun
Michelle Duff McCracken
Duff McCracken
That's a tough one
Thank you so much, Michelle
That was very nice of you
Base player for Guns N' Roses or something to quit
Duff McCracken
Sorry about that.
There you go.
Ellery Hirsch.
That's it.
Samuel Wetmore.
Leslie Routt.
Yes.
Carrie.
No, Henry.
Henry Lockwood.
Did you get Carrie out of Henry?
Yeah, because I thought I saw two R's.
That's all.
Sorry, Henry.
Rebecca Porch.
Yes.
Matt Williams.
I hope it's the third baseman. He was fantastic. He'd be great. Thank Sorry, Henry. Rebecca Porch. Yes. Matt Williams. I hope it's the third baseman.
He was fantastic.
He'd be great.
Thank you, Matt.
Jaybird Wedbetter, of course.
We love you, Wedbetter.
And Nitch.
James Cook is fantastic.
Thanks for everything, James.
Anthony Dugan or Duggan?
Duggan.
Craig Riley.
Tyler Griffin.
Colton Rogers.
Jesus.
Jordan K.
Jordan Knapp.
Ben Armstrong. Brittany Brightung Brighton Bright
Britain Britain that's a brutal last name that's what that is Jennifer Lamb uh Ellery Gomez
no Eleni Eleni Eleni Gomez Eleni Gomez Eleni what's how do you spell it E-L-L-O-N-Y
Eleni?
Elani?
How do you spell it, Jimmy?
E-L-L-O-N-Y?
Eleni?
Eleni.
Eloni.
Yeah, that's fine.
I don't know.
Natalie, shit.
This one is ridiculous.
Zinovyev.
No.
Zinovyev.
Zinovyev?
I got it.
Zinovyev.
That's for sure.
That's absolutely it.
That's a Russian name. I love when you're positive.
I'm positive.
I love when you're positive. It's never correct. Patel H hotel hwang hwang h-w-a-n-g uh angela ford
is that a an indian and a chinese name mixed together that's a very straight well sir please
tell her that's a ma'am please tell us what the hell how that works exactly where'd you get that
where'd you get the most indian first name and the most chinese last name help us out with that kensworth uh slater in uh he's up in minnesota that guy's fucking
awesome he drove all the way to detroit that was cool thank you dude no no chicago that was it he
came to chicago the first show right right kelly walsh chris england emily downing uh john uh
hoolahan tiffany goes no g. Goss. Tiffany Goss.
Thank you, Tiffany.
Buddy Kucha.
Kucha.
Strictly Homicide Podcast.
Shelby Bessie.
Normal.
No.
Not normal.
What is that?
Mommel.
Oh, Mama Al Davis.
Oh, yeah.
Mama Al Davis.
That's who it is.
Elizabeth.
Brittany Duran.
Denny Green.
No.
It's not the coach
now i don't think any third bay a professional third baseman or nfl head coaches are giving us
fingers crossed though josephine lefman thank you josephine tom tom kio key off fuck stewart
howell uh jack galloway eric clap holds clap coals clap holes clap holes that's true that's the right Eric Clapholz. Clap holes. Clap holes. Clap holes.
That's true.
That's the right one.
That's the one.
Wicked counselor.
I don't know what that is.
I imagine that's to help people wean off of ICP.
Is that porn?
The wicked counselor?
I don't know.
I don't know what that is.
Wean you off porn?
I'm not sure.
I think that's what they'll do.
They'll counsel you off porn.
I hope so.
Jessica Moncada.
Rebecca Manners. Chris Hansen.
No, Chris Henson.
Ooh, that's close.
God, him too?
This is great.
And this one is so hard to say, but I am Jimmy Wissman, and I love Tom Brady Donated.
Whoever the fuck that is, you're an asshole.
Thank you, asshole.
Thank you so much, you fucking clever dick.
You can make Jimmy say anything you want.
You can make me say a lot of horrible things, especially that.
Michelle Gerber Anderson.
Anna Kowalewski.
That's for sure.
No, Matthew Solomon.
Last ones.
Johan Erickson.
This is where it's going to get tricky because somebody really likes to fuck with me with
Hildur.
Cigarana.
Cigar.
Cigarette.
Shit.
What was that?
Cigar.
Dar.
Duder.
You got cigarette out of that?
I don't know what I just did with that.
Luis.
Your brain recognized the first half of the word.
Cigar.
Cigar.
Did an auto fill on that one?
Cigar or duder.
Duder. Fucking no no way they know what their
name is tia al al swin thank you so much uh congratulations on your new job katherine
burgess uh thomas gallagher uh brandy dwyer no dunker dunkle brandy dunkle uh fuck i'm an idiot
ronald i don't know what i'm doing i don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing.
Michael Deegan.
Sidney Cruz.
Marianne Marr, or Mayor.
Melissa Figueroa.
Sarah Kuehl, or Kiel.
Lindsay Lacara.
Lacara.
Lacara.
Lacara.
Lindsay Lacara.
That sounds good.
No, Joe Yaw.
Riley Mortensen.
No.
Riley Montbleu. That's what it is. Riley Mortensen? No. Riley Montblue.
That's what it is.
Not Mortensen.
No.
No.
Those aren't close either.
Not even close.
No.
I don't know what I'm doing.
You're just making names up.
Chris with no last name.
Gun Lauger Gunny Parson?
That's for real.
Okay.
That's what it says.
Hey, we'll take it.
Gun Lauger Gun Parson.
Cool.
Jennifer Dedress?
No. Dedrick. Dedrick. That's for sure.. Hey, we'll take it. Gunn Lauger, Gunn Porsen. Cool. Jennifer Dedress.
No, Dedrick.
Dedrick.
That's for sure.
Rachel Bridge.
Andrew Birmingham.
Susan.
Susanna Platt.
Armando Rodriguez.
CJW.
Daryl Lerman.
Megan Perry.
And the last one is Kevin Talkington.
How easy is that? That's not bad at all.
You closed strong.
I fucking knocked it out.
You guys, thank you so much for all your help.
Thank you for getting us the studio.
Thank you for making this work.
Thank you guys so much.
And we're going to make it work much better.
Yeah, it's going to be much better.
Thank you guys.
I promise by next week, we'll have more of the sound shit ironed out.
Yeah.
We're going to put a lot of work into this thing, and we're going to make it right for
you guys.
I can't wait.
To say thank you for you guys.
Now we can say this.
By the way, before we get out of here, Jimmy, what if a guy like you needed to be got a hold of by people like them?
How can they do that?
If you want to tell me how much of a piece of shit I am,
you can find me at Wisman sucks.
W H I S M a N sucks on Twitter,
Instagram,
Snapchat.
I appreciate you guys.
And I'm at Jimmy P is funny and get me there or just copy and paste my last
name from the show description in case you want to do Facebook or whatever,
because there's an eye in there and you'll fuck it up.
So weird one. Yeah, It's a weird one.
Yeah, this is a weird one.
And honestly, guys, thank you guys, because you've put us back in the actual Crime and
Sports studio.
You have.
So now we can say live from the Crime and Sports studios, we will see you next week.
Bye.
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