Crime in Sports - #120 - Who Put Cocaine In My Underpants? - The Pugnaciousness of Bob Probert
Episode Date: June 18, 2018This week, we hang on tight for a wild ride with a man who never met a fight that he didn't like... including with police officers, and just about every player in the NHL. He was wilder off t...he ice, than on it. His saga is one of constant relapses of drugs, alcohol, and bad decisions, leading to tons of arrests, and illegal things, hidden in his underwear!!Punch everyone that you can, never get behind the wheel without a good buzz, and always fill your underwear with stimulants with Bob Probert!!Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanDonate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.comGet all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.comGo to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!!Contact us on...twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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But enough of that, Jimmy.
I mean, we wanted to buzz through the top of the show quickly because it's a crazy episode.
It's one of those ones where it's one of those ones I've been saving for a while.
Oh, that's nice.
I have a handful, not even a handful.
It's a pretty good quiver full of these kind of more famous guys who are kind of just legendary crazy.
You know, there's your Lawrence Taylors out there, and everybody's been asking me for
him, and don't worry, we'll get there.
You can hear me fawn over someone for two hours and slip their crimes in also.
I don't care what he did, goddammit.
There's guys like that that everybody asks for all the time, your big guys, and they're
all coming up because, you know, eventually we're going to run out of guys.
So we're starting to layer them in now.
As you've seen, there's been some big people lately
that you've heard of, more famous people.
And we're going to continue this week with a famous person.
Well, not famous if you're not into the sport, I guess.
But in this sport, he's very, very famous.
It is Robert Allen Probert.
Bob Probert.
Oh, Jesus.
You know Bob Probert, right? I do, Proby. You is Robert Allen Probert. Bob Probert. Oh, Jesus. You know Bob Probert, right?
I do.
Proby.
You got to know him.
We've talked about him in several episodes.
With every episode where we have a hockey episode where a guy was a fighter, he fought
Bob Probert 30 times.
That's every single guy.
Basically, Bob Probert has fought every man in the United States and Canada at least twice
each.
Not just that play hockey, just every man.
Every man, woman, and child, he's fought them all twice over.
Somebody gave us Proby shirts in Chicago.
Yes, that's bullshit.
I wore one going down.
When I bought the nutsack weed for you, I was wearing that shirt on Broadway in Nashville
and got so many compliments.
I've heard of the man a handful of times on this show.
I don't watch that much hockey.
I wouldn't have any idea.
I wasn't a huge hockey fan, but when I was watching hockey,
some of my friends that played hockey and stuff was in the 93, 94, 95 era
when he was still playing and when NHL 93 hockey for Sega Genesis was out.
And that was a game you could still fight on,
and Bob Probert was the best fighter.
Well, it was him, McSorley.
There was a few, but, I mean, he was in the top five fighters in the game.
He was badass.
So you played with the Red Wings back then,
and you had Bob Probert pound people into,
pound Wayne Gretzky into a bloody little mess with his hands and feet.
So many guys drinking Tennessee beer,
giving me thumbs up with that fucking shirt on.
I was like, thanks.
I don't know who the fuck he is.
Well, in Tennessee, they love a white guy who punched someone in the face at random.
They love that down there.
So Bob Probert, date of birth, he's born all the way back June 5th, 1965.
He is born in Windsor, Ontario, Canada.
He's a hockey player.
What do you want?
That's where they're born and bred. That's where you make hockey players is in Windsor, Ontario, Canada. He's a hockey player. What do you want? That's where they're born and bred.
That's where you make hockey players is in Windsor, Ontario, Canada.
Where do you find TVs, James?
Where are they made?
They're Japan.
Right there in Japan.
Hockey players in Canada.
Now it's like Russia and Eastern Europe a lot, too.
But back then you couldn't get the Russians and Eastern Europeans.
So what did you get?
Big Canadians.
Big, hairy, angry, drunken Canadians.
Hopped up on the bats in anger.
The only ones that don't apologize for everything.
They play hockey.
Yeah, they do.
He probably still does.
He'll probably pound you into the ground.
He'll be like, hey, sorry about that.
Sorry about that, mate.
Mate, what?
Mate.
What am I doing?
Jimmy's British-Canadian, man.
Just got here, mate.
Won't have written Canada, mate. It's telling me to say hey all the time hey that's hilarious he's a big canadian he grows up to be 6'3 225 monster which is real big in hockey for back then especially
when he started playing in the 80s that's a big son of a bitch coming down the ice at you uh
nowadays the guys are big but back then it was guys weren't that big just in general uh that's a big son of a bitch coming down the ice at you uh nowadays the guys are big but
back then it was guys weren't that big just in general uh he's a he shoots he's a lefty uh
it's so weird hockey's a weird sport and in that and i know this from guys who played hockey
so many guys who are right-handed shoot lefty really it's the weird i don't understand why
is it because there's not very many of them they do it on purpose i don't know what another
ambidextrous no it's not. Or they're ambidextrous.
No, it's not even a matter of ambidextrous.
They all say they like it, but I don't understand it.
But I know this is like a common thing in hockey.
I don't get it.
I don't understand it.
You do that on purpose.
On purpose.
I know a couple people who play golf that way, too.
Really?
It's weird.
I don't understand it.
But hockey and, I don't know, maybe it's the swing.
I have no idea.
I'd look like such a dipshit trying to swing a golf club with my left hand. Yeah. Hockey stick's not that hard because the motion is pretty clean. It's the swing. I have no idea. I'd look like such a dipshit trying to swing a golf club with my left hand.
Yeah.
Hockey stick's not that hard because the motion is pretty clean.
It's pretty fluid and the same.
Well, yeah, because you keep your back arm kind of stiff.
So it's not like baseball where you can look real goofy.
There's a lot to go wrong in the whole thing.
Hockey's like, keep all this steady and stiff and move this.
It's a different deal here.
You're more like shoving the puck more than you're really uh taking like
an action like with baseball you have a shot you're right slapping there's a wrist shot
you're you've really got to pay attention to where you're hitting on the ball like there's a
the whole point of baseball is to have a strategic bat like you you've got a point in where you're
going with the bat not every time you're swinging for the fucking fence you know what i mean
sometimes you're trying to lay down a bunt you're looking with the bat. Not every time you're swinging for the fucking fence. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.
Sometimes you're trying to lay it down a bunt.
You're looking to take it the other way.
Right, right. Lay it over the second baseman's head over there.
Right, right over the fucking shortstop.
Pull a Derek Jeter.
Right.
Bloop it over the second baseman's head.
Well, this guy here, he's a left wing in hockey always.
He said, it's weird, too.
He has a motorcycle thing.
He likes motorcycles from the time he was a kid.
I like him already.
You like him? Yeah, yeah. He's a fun guy. He likes motorcycles from the time he's a kid. I like him already. You like him?
Yeah, yeah.
He's a fun guy.
That's the thing.
He's just kind of an asshole at the same time.
He said his father had one since he was a kid.
His father was a member of the Windsor Police Department there, and he was like a motorcycle cop for the Windsor Police Department.
A motorcycle cop in Canada where it's warm, you know, 22 days out of the year.
So the rest of it, you've got to be a hard son of a bitch.
He comes home with icicles on his face.
That's an angry man.
Guys, cops on motorcycles are generally,
typically, historically, complete fucking dicks.
Well, it's been the 60s, too.
A motorcycle is like an outlaw thing to do.
That wasn't like now.
Every fucking, every yuppie father
who has like, there's my SUV and there's my Harley. Like they have the, but back then that wasn't like now that every fucking every yuppie father who has like there's
my suv and there's my harley like they have but back then that wasn't you didn't like put on a
polo shirt and get on your harley back then that was you get stabbed well a harley back then too
you had to work on the goddamn thing you had to know how to work on it because it would break
down every five minutes yeah that was the other problem yuppies can't ride them back then no and
it was just that was a different thing like if if you rode a motorcycle, that was like having a tattoo in 1965.
He's got a tattoo on his arm.
He must be either in the Navy or he killed three people.
Either way, he's seen some shit.
Either way.
He said his dad would come home, take him for rides on the Harley, him and his brother.
He also said his dad got him into hockey.
His dad, Al.
His name was Al?
Al.
Jesus.
Al Probert.
How you doing?
I'm Al Probert.
I know I'm from Windsor, but this is how I fucking talk.
You got a problem?
That Al Probert is a bad man.
Big Al Probert.
Yeah.
Good to see you.
You bet.
Big Al Probert.
Sounds like he runs some kind of discount sprinkler repair center downtown.
But that's just the front, babe.
Al Probst, sprinkler repair and replacement parts.
Come on down here.
You sprinkled me a little.
It's a little messed up.
Shooting in the wrong direction.
Al Probst got you covered.
I had a whole dug anyway, so I put some fucking sprinklers in it.
So I put sprinklers in it, and I said, hey, I could make a living on this.
This ain't bad.
So he says he doesn't know how his parents met. Apparently
it wasn't a big romantic love story.
I could probably
spoil the romantic
thoughts for him. Dad's a
motorcycle guy named Al Probert.
Motorcycle cop. He probably pulled her over.
She took it in the ass and he said,
I'll marry ya. Tell you what, sweetheart, there's a ticket
here. Or you can take
you and a kid. Maybe there's not a ticket here.
What do you say we talk about this?
Ah, look at that.
You're really good at that.
Want to get married?
Hey.
That's how it works.
Want to get married?
This is Canada.
That's how it is.
I pull you over.
We're married now.
Sorry.
That's it.
It's a big country.
Not a lot of people here.
You chose to make the ticket disappear.
You find someone.
It turns out they're not a moose and you marry them. That's how it is.
You see a car driving, you go,
might be a moose driving, and we don't know. It's Canada.
Anything could happen. And then you go, alright, no, it's
a person. It's a human. It's a female human.
I'm going to marry it. Alright then. She's not
mad. So he said that his
dad was 36 when he was born, so
his parents were older.
His dad was a little older than his mom. I'm an idiot.
His dad was older. I just heard you say his dad was 36 when he was born, and I was like, that's a big baby.
His dad was 36 when he was born.
That's a big baby.
Right.
Yeah.
How did he stay in there?
Wow.
I realize there's no logic to why I thought that.
His dad came out with a driver's license.
I was like, what?
And a leather jacket and a mortgage. I'm an idiot. It driver's license and a leather jacket and a mortgage.
I'm an idiot.
It's a boy and he's got a mortgage.
He's got 27 years left on him.
He should probably get him some Harry's razors.
Very good sprinkler repair business. He's got a good idea.
Get him some Harry's razors.
He's got a Harry back already. He's going to need it.
It's bad here. He said his parents,
his dad's parents were from England,
which makes it even stranger. Yeah.
So I nailed it. So his dad's, well, there you go.
Well, his dad's
like this son of English people,
but he's like a motorcycle cop
and it's a very strange dynamic here.
He loves his grandfather, though, Bob
does. His grandfather's name was Jack and he loved him.
He says, later on, spoiler
alert, he writes a book and
it's written like a 14-year-old kid with brain damage wrote a book.
And it's written with a ghostwriter and everything, but you have to use his words also.
And he writes these short sentences like when you give a second grader a sign.
It's like, I went to the store.
They had Apple Jacks.
I bought the Apple Jacks.
I had a bowl of Apple Jacks.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, that's awesome.
He says, quote, this is his thing.
Dad's parents were from England, period.
My grandfather's name was Jack, period.
He was awesome, period.
That's it.
That's how the whole book goes.
That's the fucking book, man.
That's the book.
That's awful.
It's fucking amazing.
He's talking about crazy shit. You're
like a child wrote this, a child that did a lot of drugs and booze and fought a lot and is a crazy
person. A man child. A man child wrote this. That's exactly what this guy is. It's I'll tell
you later who he reminds me of a couple of remind. He reminds me of a couple of people here. But he
said he used to spend a lot of time at his uh grandfather's house with jack there having sleepovers and things like that uh he and his older brother norm not jack's older brother
norm jack his grandfather jack and his older brother norm played lacrosse it was an over 82
lacrosse league they both went out there i don't we have to be real specific now well if his dad
was born at 36 his grandfather and his brother might be playing fucking lacrosse for all we know.
We don't know.
And his dad was 36.
His grandfather was older.
Man, that lacrosse league is just, you got to keep the medics on hand.
Some motherfucker.
Five ambulances just waiting by with stretchers.
Jesus.
Holy shit.
But Bob and his brother Norm, to be specific here, played lacrosse together.
And the grandfather, Jack, was very, very supportive of this lacrosse.
And this was at a very young age.
We're talking five, six, seven years old.
Yeah, yeah.
They were playing lacrosse.
And I said that his grandfather, Jack, always went to the games and that sort of thing.
His grandfather ended up dying, though.
And so that was tough on him when he was, I believe, eight years old.
His grandfather died and he made a big deal out of not crying at the funeral, he said, to make a big show of how tough he was.
That sort of shit.
All right.
You know, that sort of thing here.
He's got an interesting relationship with his dad.
And it makes sense for his later on life.
He said his dad had a lot of drive and he was a very tough kind of guy
in his own words.
Well, in his own words,
it was, quote,
my dad had drive, period.
He was tough, period.
That's exactly what the fucking thing,
that's exactly what he said.
Not my dad was tough
and his drive showed his tough.
No, no, none of that shit.
Just my dad had drive, period.
He was tough, period.
He's just dictating.
And someone's just writing it down word for word.
And then a publisher printed it and put it out.
His thoughts are in five-word barrages.
That's it.
That's all he can compose.
I like turkey sandwiches.
Did you see the duck out there?
Period.
Trees are green, period.
Unbelievable.
The sun is bright today.
Period.
My car is blue.
Period.
What the fuck is happening?
He's like the fucking janitor in Billy Madison.
That's what he had.
Miss Slippy's car is green.
That's kind of, but he didn't write a book, thankfully.
That wasn't part of Billy Madison.
Oh, your novel came out.
Excellent.
Your memoir is perfect. Jesus Christ. Memoirs of Billy Madden. Oh, your novel came out. Excellent. Your memoir is perfect.
Jesus Christ.
Memoirs of a janitor.
Not that like janitor is like a shitty job to have.
I mean, obviously it sucks.
No one wants to do it, but there's no shame in it.
None.
None at all.
You make a living, you make a living.
It's great.
The pool for it is real small.
The reason I know that is because my high school janitor
had polio for fuck's sake.
If he's the guy that beat you
out of that job
in your able body.
Well, it doesn't take that much
and we're like,
we'll give it to him.
It's fine.
The kids don't need it that clean.
Don't worry about it.
It's fine.
He'll scrub as good as he can.
It's okay.
He had one leg shorter
than the other.
It was fucked up.
The bathroom's always
going to smell like piss. Always. We're we're not gonna fix that and i believe he was
a convicted sex offender so it worked out great that's the perfect place to hire one at a school
obviously back then that's when we were kids it was like well maybe being around the kids will
straighten them out that's what they would say like what what's going on here i wonder why half
of us got molested jesus christ it's's like the hiring principle was like, I'm going to treat him like I would treat a child.
And if I caught a kid smoking cigarettes, I'd force him to smoke a whole pack.
Like he's daring him.
Put him right in the middle.
He fucked a kid once.
Just once.
I'm going to make him fuck all of them.
Well, it's called immersion therapy.
We're going to immerse him in kids.
And it's going to be, if he can get past that, then he's cured at that point is the way it is, I think.
That's the fucked up part.
Now everybody thinks their kid is getting molested and is so fearful of that, which, yeah, nobody wants their kid to get molested.
But now there's so much less opportunity for your kid to be molested than when we were kids when no one thought for a second that you got molested.
But every kid was molested.
But everybody was molested because they hired sex offenders at schools and shit like that.
And it was fine.
Like the one guy that you would expect to be doing it too.
Yeah.
And sure enough.
And that's the guy.
So, yeah, he said his dad was tough on him.
He said his dad was always telling him to toughen up and be strong and not show any weaknesses.
He said his dad was in the army for a while, and he was a motorcycle cop.
His dad's a tough Canadian son of a bitch.
You know what I mean?
As tough as Canadians come.
Yeah, as tough as – these hockey-playing Canadians with a head full of Lebesgue,
why would you go fuck with those guys?
You could hit them with a fucking brick, and I don't think it's going to affect them at all.
I mean, they've been playing hockey their whole lives.
The brain damage is thick like scar tissue at this point.
Sorry, Canada.
That's the way it is.
I'm going back and forth on if his dad's tough or not.
Like being from Britain, maybe not.
He's not from Britain.
His parents are from Britain.
Right, right, right, right.
But was he born in Canada?
No, he was born in Canada.
Oh, okay, I got you.
He's a Canadian.
But his parents are British, so it's kind of right, right. But was he born in Canada? No, he was born in Canada. See, that's – oh, okay, I got you. He's a Canadian. Yeah, yeah.
But his parents are British, so it's kind of – I don't know.
That's what I mean.
That's what his parents have raised him.
That's what I was saying.
The dichotomy of his parents like being maybe proper British people and him firing up the Harley.
But he went to the army.
He was transferred to Germany, did some – served over there.
He got out of the army.
He went right into the police force type of thing.
His dad was a big guy, too, same as him.
His grandfather, Jack, was very small, which was weird.
His grandparents were small people, and they had his dad, who was 6'3", 220.
It was like my parents.
My dad's 5'10".
My mom's 5'4".
Nobody in my family saw.
Is your dad only 5'10"?
My dad's 5'10".
That's how fucking short I am.
Me and then my brother, too. Jesus, he seems big to I am. Me and then my brother too. Jesus, he seems
big to me. Yeah, and my brother too.
Oh, he's enormous. He's an inch shorter
than me or something. Is he? Yeah, he's an inch shorter than me.
Yeah, so I mean. But he's just wide too.
Yeah, yeah. So he seems much bigger.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. That's a good point.
But he grew up in Windsor. He said
on a quiet street in a small
brick house. So a nice
upbringing. That seems like a idyllic Canadian small street with a brick house there.
And a public servant father.
A public servant father.
He played street hockey with his friends, that sort of thing.
He said his street was like a cul-de-sac, so they'd just set the goal up down at the end of the cul-de-sac,
and they could play all day long, which, I mean, if you're in Canada, what more can you ask for, really?
Perfect breeding ground for a well-rounded citizen.
I would say so.
Sounds like it.
Well, well-rounded, maybe not, because then he talks about his schoolwork and how he was in school.
Let's just say he's not well-rounded, I would say, especially in the education department.
Anything that takes effort that's not hockey or fighting, really not.
He's kind of averse to it, I got to be honest with you.
So he's round like an egg.
Yes, exactly.
Not well-rounded.
He's well kind of ovaled. Yeah.
Smushed down a little.
And kind of pointed at the top.
Yeah.
He says that he was not very good in school, but this is his sentences in his book.
Quote, I was not very good in school, but I could figure things out.
I liked – that's period.
Then I liked tools and stuff, period.
What the fuck does that even mean?
I like tools and stuff.
So you didn't like math unless there was a protractor involved?
What are you talking about?
Apparently, so you only like tools.
Yeah, he said that he talks about this big thing about being in the second grade,
and a teacher turned on an electric fan and held up a piece of paper
and asked how many think the fan is going to blow this paper across my desk.
Everybody raised their hand except him.
And he said, then the teacher said, so who thinks the fan is going to suck the paper in?
And he said that he was the only one who knew that it was,
but he didn't like to sit in classrooms, and he couldn't remember anything that he read,
had no, like, reading comprehension.
And later on, he finds out that he's like hardcore ADHD.
Perfect.
Which makes a lot of sense.
But in Canada in 1973, I don't know how much they really paid attention to that.
No, they were just like, hey, he didn't play enough hockey last night.
They'd call your parents and be like, after school, he's got to play more hockey.
I'm sorry.
You got to get him out there, burn this energy off, just make him play hockey.
That's the way it is.
Which is really the cure for anything.
If you have lupus up there, they're like, well, you've got to put a hockey stick in his hand.
It's kind of the same way.
I mean, that's what it is.
Here, too.
He's lazy.
Just put him in the goal if he can't move.
I don't know.
Yeah, that's true.
Just stick him in there.
So was it his ADHD that figured out that the fan was going the opposite way?
He could see that?
He said he had weird smarts.
He's trying to say that he wasn't an idiot, basically.
This is his way of saying, look, I wasn't a moron, just to let you know.
He said, though, he started playing hockey when he was four, got into an organized league when he was five.
So, I mean, that's how you get into hockey.
You can't start playing hockey when you're 15.
It's not a sport like basketball.
I look at Kimo Lajuan, who was like a great soccer goalie, and they're like, okay, you're seven foot tall.
Put this in there.
Okay, great.
Football, you can take a guy that's never played football.
If he's a great athlete, and if it's not a skilled position, if it's not quarterback or something or center or something, you can teach him to play anything.
Like, you can just be.
As long as there's some sort of athletic in the kid.
I mean, if they're an athlete, you can take an Olympic sprinter,
you can make him a kick returner to catch this football and then run this way.
Now go.
Yeah.
There's a story I heard about defensive linemen basically can be completely,
they can have an IQ of 12.
You can put a stalk of celery on the defensive line if you waste 320 pounds.
And he talked about a guy, I wouldn't mention his name, this coach,
but he talked about a guy who was so stupid that if you're a defensive tackle,
basically most of the plays are just right or left.
You just have to know whether you're going right or left.
So you don't have to know what everyone else is doing,
like if you're an offensive lineman or a quarterback.
You don't even know which assignment is yours.
You just go that way and push that way.
You're that hole.
That's it.
And this guy was so stupid.
That was too hard for him because he couldn't remember which way right and left was.
They had to write R and L on his shoes.
Holy fuck.
So before the play, he would look down at his shoes to know which direction he was fucking going.
Oh, Christ.
And he'd be like, I'm going this way.
And then he'd fucking go that way.
I was like, wow.
And this guy played in the league for 10 years.
I want to know who the fuck that is.
So bad.
So bad, right?
Played in the league for 10 years, made millions upon millions of dollars, doesn't know which
way right and left is.
So crazy.
Very Dexter Manley.
Very Dexter Manley, yeah.
Well, Dexter wasn't a moron.
He just couldn't read.
Yeah.
Or write.
Or write.
Or do a lot of other things, really.
But, you know.
He's a Dex-tard.
Yeah, he's a Dex-tard, as we know from that.
That's his license plate.
So he said he'd go down to the local rink with his dad.
He said he loved it.
He played forward at first.
He was a left winger.
He played left wing forever.
And he liked it because he said he would switch and play right wing.
But he was a left-hand shot, so it was kind of weird.
Left wing, right.
Yeah, so he said he never played center, never played defense.
He did say he liked his dad a lot.
He didn't say that his dad was a horrible person.
I think just the time back then, it was your dad comes home,
tells you to toughen up.
He's a Harley riding motorcycle cop in Canada that likes hockey a lot.
It was in the Army. Toughen up, you little. in Canada that likes hockey a lot. He was in the army.
Toughen up, you little... Yeah, that's just what it is.
So he said his dad didn't smoke.
His dad just would have some beers after work. He said his dad wasn't even a big
boozer. Just, you know, he said he'd go
down to have a few pints with his
friends and, you know, that sort of thing.
Get a buzz on and come home. Get a buzz on.
But his dad also... This is what I mean.
I don't know how much you can
turn this off from this from like if you're a cop on the street so you get home maybe you can just
turn it off i'm not sure but he talks about his dad in this way he says his dad was an old old
school cop period then he says this next sentence is amazing uh this is like reno 911 here he says
quote he applied street justice with his nightstick.
Holy shit.
That sounds scary.
That's, you know, a little stick time, Garcia style.
New nightstick goofing.
Yeah, new nightstick goofing.
A little stick time.
Nightstick goofing.
A little new boot goof.
He said he had a reputation around town.
He said he would remember his dad coming home after being in fights, breaking up bar brawls
and all that sort of shit. He said he thought that was the coolest Bob did. He's like, look at dad
coming home with, you know, cuts and scrapes and kicking some ass. He's like, this is great.
He said if he didn't get into hockey, maybe he would have been a cop at that point. But don't
worry, he'll spend enough time with the cops to pretty much just get a paycheck.
Make him an honorary guy.
At least ask for a badge, that sort of thing here.
Your own set of cuffs.
That way when we show up, we'll just put them on yourself.
Listen, Bob, it's time again.
And he's like, ah, fuck, all right, fine, Jesus.
Hold on, let me finish what I'm doing here.
He said that when he was playing kind of like little league hockey, basically, it's
a midget hockey.
They called it back then.
I'm sure they don't call it that now.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
Maybe they do.
I'm not sure.
Who knows?
How heartless are they?
So he said like between the ages of 10 and 13, he was always like kind of the best player
on the team.
He said he was like a foot taller than most of the people he had.
He's one of these early puberty guys.
I feel like he had a beard when he was 11.
You know those kids in the fifth grade.
You're like, Jesus.
The first kid with armpit hair.
I was going to say, how much armpit hair does this guy have?
There's a 10-year-old on my son's swim team who has armpit hair.
And we were driving home and my son goes, when do you hit puberty, dad?
Not yet.
And I was like, I don't know why.
I'm like, it depends.
It's different from
person to person why he goes why does why does joe have armpit hair and i go do you want i don't i
don't know man but kids what boys want armpit hair though they're like they'll look for them under a
microscope it's it's a weird thing yeah it's it's it's fucking nuts look at dan cummins has a joke
looking for a pube and you're like that's that's very true i told him be happy, son, because that armpit hair is probably why you just beat him.
Yeah, there you go.
This is swimming, son.
He's distracted.
That shit slows you down.
And he's thinking about girls.
He's not thinking about this.
You're thinking about this.
He said, though, he's bigger than all these kids, so he was always one of the better kids on the team here.
the better kids on the team here.
He said that he'd try to, and this I can relate to,
he wore size 13 shoes when he was a kid,
so he would try to buy smaller size shoes and just stuff into them so his feet didn't look so big.
Wow.
Which I understand that.
You did that too?
Not now, but I wore size 13 shoes, and I have since I was 13, 14 years old.
Right now you're over 13.
Yeah, yeah.
And you've worn it for, fuck, 30 years.
Yeah, your feet kind of stopped growing.
So it's like, yeah, it's a weird 30 years.
Almost.
Oh, I thought you said I did math wrong.
13.
Not quite that wrong.
Not quite that long, but still.
Almost.
Anyway, so he says now he doesn't care, obviously.
His older brother played hockey with him all the way up until his brother was drafted by the windsor spit
fires which is the uh they call it the it's one of the junior hockey teams but it's one of the pro
we've gone over this in all the hockey episodes they have kind of these these yeah these like pro
junior league teams up there because you can get people to watch minor league hockey in canada
crazy fucking love it they watch it so much they're watching midgets play yeah that's although
i would watch that that I would watch that.
That I would watch on skate sets.
I'm in.
That sounds entertaining.
I want to see that fight.
Never mind wrestling.
That would be –
That was entertaining back in the day.
But no, on the ice.
The boxing, all of it.
On the ice is good.
Yeah, that's where it's at.
Yeah.
So he said his brother here didn't get a lot of playing time when he was there.
There was a lot of good players.
His brother also – now they talk about – he just says his brother kind of didn't play
that, didn't get to play that much.
And then kind of his brother only played the one year on the team they released him.
What he doesn't really talk about much in the book is that his father was, or his brother
was a complete disaster and drank a shitload and wrecked a car and did all sorts of shit
that caused them to not need him anymore
because he wasn't really worth the trouble.
Sabotaged his own shit.
He did.
So that was the thing.
Bob says that the first time he drank, he was 14.
He said his family went to a party, a family party in Michigan, and his dad brought a cooler
of beer home with them, and it was all American beer in cans that he didn't have before.
And it was Schlitz and Budweiser and Pabst Blue Ribbon, so terrible cheap American beer in cans.
He said so.
He was putting them in the fridge, and he said he was thinking, quote,
I wonder what one of these tastes like.
So he said he drank one and nothing happened.
So then he drank another and another.
He's 14.
He said after drinking about five of them, I started getting a buzz.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Five.
Yeah.
Your first time?
Wow.
Five beers.
Damn.
If I drank five beers now, I'd be hammered.
The first time I drank beers, I had, like plural, I had three.
And I was like, I can't believe people drink a case of this.
This is nuts.
Granted, he is Canadian, which means his alcohol is more resilient to lower alcohol contents of the American beer, we'll say.
Maybe if he gave him like four Molson Ices, he would have been a little more fucked up.
A couple of IPAs.
Yeah, something like that, which is basically just Canadian beer.
So he said then the buzz started kicking in, and he said he was like, quote, wow, this is pretty neat.
That was his thought process.
Yeah.
But he said he had to – he went and kind of went into his bedroom because he knew he was shit-faced.
He didn't want anybody to catch him.
A little spun.
Yeah.
He said he must have – he fell asleep and threw up all over himself during the night.
Oh, no.
Which is bad.
His mother came to wake him up in the morning morning and she said, what's wrong with you?
What's going on?
Why does it smell like Pabst in here?
Yes, exactly.
Right.
Exactly.
So what he did was sometimes I guess he's kind of iffy with fish.
He gets like weird reactions to fish and always did.
So he said he had some tuna and blamed it on that.
Yeah.
I did not say, well, I was hammered.
Right.
Had a bunch of those Pabst the fridge, and those are nasty.
I mixed paps, schlitz, and Budweiser.
I had a shitload of it.
That's right.
He said he had had his friend's house the night before.
They put tuna in their mac and cheese, and that fucked them all up there.
In all fairness, I agree.
That's disgusting.
That is disgusting.
He knows how to get away with shit, and he knows how to do shit like that.
He talks about at this point when he becomes like a minor league hockey player, he starts making fake IDs for everyone.
Oh, boy.
Because he joins the Windsor Junior Spitfires team also the next year.
And he talks about how this was great for him because he learned in school, he figured out in school when he was in high school how to make fake IDs.
So back then, it wasn't like now.
It's not on a computer.
They don't swipe it.
It was just if you had like a laminator, you could put some shit together.
You take somebody's ID, you put a picture on it and laminate it.
Yeah, he would cut out a little thing and put it out.
He just put out the dates.
And it wasn't that hard back then.
You could do it.
It sounded great to be a young person
back then. So
he said they would drink and he said they
quote, would buy as much
booze as we wanted and go to all
the bars. I was 17
and I just like to always be stoned or
drunk. I never cracked a book at school.
By the time I was 18, I was drinking 12
beers a night, but I could go to 16
without passing out. It was cool. Holy shit. It was cool, I was drinking 12 beers a night, but I could go to 16 without passing out.
It was cool.
Holy shit.
It was cool, man.
That is way cool.
I'm impressed.
17, and he's pounding at least a 12-pack a night.
Wow.
So he's an old Harley-Ryden pro at this point.
You know what I mean?
That's getting seasoned at a young age.
I can't.
I don't think I knew anybody in high school that could drink like that.
Even for Canada, I think that's a lot of beer.
Even for Canada, that's a lot of beer.
Even for Russia, Australia, anywhere where they drink heavy, that's a lot of fucking beer.
That's a lot of beer.
Germany, they drink heavy.
They drink heavy.
That's a lot.
That's still 12.
I feel like at 17 is a lot.
It's too much.
And I could go to 16 without passing out.
I like how he knew his exact pass-out
threshold. Like, well, 15. If I have
one more, I'm going to fucking fall down and I'm not going to
remember any of this. I've had 17 twice and that dick's
drawn on my face. I've done it.
So the 81-82 hockey season,
he's 16 years old and playing with the
Windsor club that we mentioned before.
He plays 55
games for them that year.
Has 60 goals and 40 assists in 55 games.
That's fucking dominating.
That's bizarre.
That's unheard of.
That's like some Gretzky shit.
That's a lot of goals.
He's crushing.
In 55, he gets more than a goal a game.
Right, more goals than games.
That's how good he was for that level.
He was so good and only 40 penalty minutes that year, which isn't – that's pretty average for 55 games.
That's not bad at all.
Oh, boy, will he have a lot of penalty minutes.
We'll talk about all that.
He's then the 95th overall pick in the 1982 OHL Priority Selection Draft, which is, I believe, Ontario Hockey League.
It's a minor league hockey, whatever.
He's selected by Brantford in the seventh round.
It's the Brantford-Alexanders.
It's a major junior team.
He said that he was nervous.
He went to the orientation camp, and he said all the guys were so clean cut.
He said, kind of like altar boys, so I started to get worried.
But after the parents disappeared, we had this huge bonfire and down several cases of beer.
So it was a relief.
Oh, good.
Everyone here is a drunk, too.
Excellent.
Perfect.
I thought I would not have to be an alcoholic.
They just shave their faces and cut their hair, but they're the same as me.
Yeah, that's – Jesus Christ, man.
Let's do an in their own words about his drinking.
This will include the 16, going to 16 without passing out line because
it should all be encompassed in its in its original quote in their own words, quote,
I guess I would say I was an alcoholic by then. When we first started buying beer, we
would split a case between four of us and then they came out with the 18 pack. So we'd
split that between two of us. Then we'd split it. Then we'd split a two four between two
of us. So by the time I was 18, I was drinking 12 beers a night, but
I could go to 16 without passing out. That's so
much. Yeah, he said it was usually a competition
among him and his friends to see
who could drink the most. Of course.
He said he'd always win, because he
was big, and he was already over 200
pounds and 6'3 when he was 17.
Probie, that's a very interesting comment,
that it was a contest to
see who could drink the most.
The most.
What's the other contest?
You know what I mean?
Jesus Christ.
When it comes to drinking, what's the other contest?
I don't know what that would be.
Yeah, what would be the other?
Who could drink the least?
The slowest.
That's stupid, right?
That's dumb.
I can drink the—
The whole point is to see who can drink the most, you dipshit.
The most, maybe the fastest, possibly.
I can pound this many in that time period.
I'd much rather drink 18 overnight than 12 in an hour.
Oh, God.
Jesus Christ.
How do you even get that much liquid in you?
I don't know.
It comes out so fast.
If you move your guts and sloshes back and forth, you're like, oh, boy.
Great taste, less filling, James.
Not less filling if you have 12 in an hour.
It's still liquid.
That isn't interesting.
That's what I mean.
It's still a lot of liquid.
I thought about that when I was a kid.
I was like, yeah, well, not really a kid, but when I was drinking.
A gross of beer.
Just a gross of ounces of beer.
144 ounces in your stomach.
When I was drinking, I often thought, how did I have that much liquid inside me when
I drank as many as I drank?
A little stretch of stomach, but it's still gross.
Or you're pissing a lot.
And you're pissing a lot here.
Yeah, so he would do that.
He'd drink all this.
He said his first year, he was suspended from a game.
His coach's name was Zippy, by the way.
That's what they called him.
His coach's name was Dave Draper, but everyone called him Zippy.
You're not getting any respect from your –
Yeah, all right, Zippy, sure.
Do some laps, guys.
Fuck yourself, Zippy.
Fuck out of here, man.
Make me, Zippy.
Yeah.
Zippy, zip it.
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Well, he got sent home with a friend of his on the team
here. The coach heard about the
boozing and apparently they'd been hanging
out with a group of girls. Yeah.
He's always hanging out with these girls. Most of the time it's like wayward girls. He talks about one sexual experience'd been hanging out with a group of girls. Yeah. He's always hanging out with these girls.
Most of the time it's like wayward girls.
He talks about one sexual experience of like hanging out with these girls
who he thought were like homeless sort of, like lived in a group home or something
and went in the room and fucked one of them.
And this was like 1982 when he's like, and she had a condom and whipped it out
and was like, throw this on.
And he was like, wow, like he thought she was a prostitute at that point and he was like i got out and i was
like i didn't even have to pay her or anything it was great i guess she wasn't a pro she was just
real into it i was like what the fuck no dude wow you just banged a chick that just does that a lot
she's just you just but yeah it's she was a young like a teenager you just banged a girl at a lot
of problems you just banged a girl you just a lot of problems. You just banged a girl who probably had a terrible life up until that point.
And you just made it worse.
Congratulations.
Good job.
So, yeah, I guess they were hanging out with some nice girls, which wasn't allowed.
You're going to defile these nice girls here.
So him and his friend got sent home there.
But that year, the 82-83 season, he plays in 51 games for Brantford, 12 goals, 16 assists, 133 penalty minutes.
My man.
Now we're talking.
Now he's tired on.
This is when he starts fighting, and he's the enforcer, and this guy loves to fight.
He's got a weird honor about it.
Later on, I believe in 84 in the minors, he hurts a guy really bad. Attacks a goaltender.
Blindsides him. Hurts him so bad
he has to be taken out on a stretcher.
And then in his book he talks about that
and then he talks about how
what pussies the teammates
were and how he was just
disgusted that the teammates didn't retaliate
against him. He's like, for the rest of the game
not one person took a cheap shot at me.
Like, what kind of pussies are these?
I expected to get a stick to the side of the head.
Nothing. I blasted your goalie.
How dare you not try to fight? No respect, he said.
No respect because they didn't lash out at him
and take cheap shots at him. A weird honor
among these
enforcers all have this weird
honor code amongst them. It's a
society. It's not surprising to him
that... It's so strange. It's not surprising to him that...
It's so strange.
Why is it surprising that nobody wants to fight the guy that just took a cheap shot
at the guy that nobody ever fights?
Well, in hockey, usually, it's all retaliatory.
You bump this guy, so I bump you.
But this guy just fought the guy with the most padding on and beat the shit out of him.
But he blindsided him.
He didn't see him coming.
He just thrilled him.
So usually, he'd be attacked. But he blindsided him. He didn't see him coming. He just thrilled him. So usually he'd be attacked.
But it's a very weird.
These hockey enforcers have a strange other society.
All right.
They're only in.
No one else.
None of the other players.
I get it.
I'm just saying.
I don't want to fight a guy that just took on the guy with the most padding and beat
the fuck out of him.
I probably don't want to fight that guy.
No, absolutely not.
Somehow his thunderous punches went through all that padding and injured him.
Yeah, I'm out. I want nothing to do with that man. But in hockey, you gotta go up.
You have a stick. That's what he said. I expected a stick to the side of the head.
Something, something slash me. Do something. Hurt me. Answer me.
Damn it. I do have at least one tooth to spare. Fuck, man. This is Canada.
Someone's boozed up.
Hit me.
So he had a lot of extracurricular activities at this point.
Not only is he partying like crazy, he's drinking.
He is fucking anything that moves as a teenager. He talks about having this landlady who's like an older lady.
No.
And he describes her in the book.
He's like, yeah, you know, she's a little dumpy.
You know, the sand had settled to the bottom a little bit on this one.
Is that what he said?
That was his exact quote.
The sand had settled to the bottom.
Settled to the bottom a little bit.
Oh, boy.
You know, she wasn't the greatest, but she had pretty eyes, and what the fuck, she was there.
She kept saying, when are you going to take care of me?
When are you going to take care of me?
So finally, I was like, yeah, what the hell, let's go to it.
And so I guess he was fucking
this little landlady
behind her husband's back
and all this shit.
And then the landlady got mad at him
because he was fucking some 20-year-old girl
and she came in.
She was doing his laundry,
the landlady,
and she came in the house
and he was trying to sneak the back girl,
the young girl out the window
and the landlady came in
and saw her and got all mad.
She got a basket full of his
shit and then told the coach on him oh which is weird i don't know how that worked when they sent
him home i was like what is happening in canada what is going on in canada with hockey let's go
fuck hockey how did he do how did he figure that out i don't know how he figures any of this out
he could bang his landlady and get her to do his laundry? He's like 10 years ahead of the curve on everything here.
But at 17, he figured out, she's a little older, a little desperate.
She likes me.
If I throw her one once in a while, I can get laundry done.
She'll operate the Maytag for me.
But apparently he was not allowed to have sex with anybody else.
That is wild.
Also, though, he said, oh man, this is fucking
funny. He said that he, not funny
for her, he said that he got a girl pregnant,
another girl. He said,
quote, and I got the call. I had
just settled into the zoo.
I don't know what that is. Oh, the
Saint Marie, it's later. But I wanted
to do the right thing. She wanted
an abortion, but I thought about going
to my coach and telling him, hey, coach, I'm sorry I can't play, but this girl needs an abortion so I have to go the right thing. She wanted an abortion, but I thought about going to my coach and telling him,
Hey, coach, I'm sorry I can't play, but this girl needs an abortion, so I have to go be with her.
I didn't think that would fly.
So I called one of my buddies to handle it for me.
So he had one of his friends take her to get an abortion.
Well, you know, he had hockey to play, Jimmy.
What are you going to do?
He's got a game.
He's got to practice that slap shot.
He's got fights to get into.
Can't tell the guy, hey, look, I made a huge life mistake,
and this girl is going to go through an experience that she might need somebody there for,
and I'm the one who should probably be there since this is kind of my responsibility.
He said, I got hockey.
Hey, Frank, can you take this chick to the abortion clinic, please?
Yeah, you can have her number afterwards.
I don't care.
Clearly she puts out Frank.
Yeah, it's cool, man.
You're going to like her. Get her number, and everything will be all afterwards. I don't care. That's what she puts out for. That's cool, man. You get her number and everything will be all right.
Oh, my God.
And this is like the second girl he had gotten pregnant in this time period, too.
He likes to get girls pregnant.
So, well, I mean, I guess the act of it.
Who doesn't?
Right.
At that point, it's not necessarily likes to get him pregnant.
He just hates to take it out.
He hates to.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not everyone whips a condom out like the one girl who he thought was a fucking pro there.
So what do you some kind of what are you, an amateur? It's just what do you got? to, yeah, not everyone whips a condom out like the one girl who he thought was a fucking pro there.
What are you, an amateur?
Come on, what do you got? You don't got rubbers on you? You didn't pull a rubber out. Hey, sweetheart, where's your rubbers?
Hey, you don't carry them around? Listen, I'm leaving
this in there. I'm sorry, I can't take
it out. It's a mess.
Once it's in, it stays in.
I'm sorry. Plus, I forget. That's the thing.
I've had a lot of beers.
Now I can have 24 without passing out, so I'm doing better. Ask me to write you a sentence. Yeah, I forget. That's the thing. I've had a lot of beers. You know, now I can have 24 without passing out, so I'm doing better.
Ask me to write you a sentence.
Yeah, I could do it.
Here, look.
There you go.
Four words.
Boom.
See how fast that was?
I wrote a sentence.
That's my sentence.
Four words.
Pow.
He's such a hot commodity.
Who wouldn't want this guy around their organization?
I mean, yeah.
Of course, the NHL comes sniffing around.
Oh, boy. Obviously., the NHL comes sniffing around.
Oh, boy.
Obviously.
1983 NHL entry draft.
And there's a lot of, like, famous guys in this draft.
Pat LaFontaine goes number three.
Steve Geiserman goes number four.
There's a lot of kind of Cam Neelys in there.
A lot of people.
Jeff Bukabum, the famous enforcer, kind of goon for the Rangers.
I got to see a great fight between him and McSorley once in the garden. That was fucking amazing.
You were there?
I saw, yeah, it was great.
It was Rangers-Penguins in like, I don't know, maybe 93, 94, around that era.
My friends helped me to it.
They kept chipping at each other, and then they just fucking went at it.
And I was like, this is great.
That's worth the price of admission right there.
I've been to three hockey games in my life and seen one fight and was vastly disappointed.
Really?
I mean, it was a 2000s era.
They don't fight near as well now as they did then.
This was like 93.
My uncle took me to a Rangers game in the late 80s, early 90s, and I saw Joey Coker
go into three fights in one fucking game, too, who was another famous... In one game!
In one game. Oh, he'll do that too.
Don't worry about it. Claude Lemieux was
drafted in this draft. Not Mario, but Claude.
Still good. Still good.
Still a Lemieux. It's
alright. Finally, though, in the
third round, which is still only
46th overall, which isn't
bad, Bob is drafted by the
Detroit Red Wings.
So he's got that here.
He's drafted right before Bruce Shoebottom.
Yeah, Bruce Shoebottom.
Oh, I think he only played 35 games in the NHL.
And his name is Shoebottom, which is a terrible fucking name.
What's on the bottom of a shoe?
Gum.
That's like a thing like... Sludge.
You insult somebody like you're the shit that someone scrapes off the bottom of their shoe. Gum? Shit? Sludge? You insult somebody like you're the shit that someone scratched off the bottom of their
shoe.
This guy.
In New York, the bottom of your shoe goes on the top of your shoe.
I don't know if you noticed that.
That is disgusting.
I've never been somewhere before that you walk down the sidewalk and as you step, shit
flops from the bottom of your shoe.
The whole toe of my shoe was black.
That's exhaust.
How the fuck did that happen?
Because there's so much exhaust in the street with 65 million cars right there.
That's disgusting.
You don't wear nice shoes around New York.
I found that out.
I had gray ones.
Yeah, that's stupid.
They're not black.
Yeah, you don't do that.
That's dumb.
You messed up, Jimmy.
You should have came to me.
I could have told you about homeless guys on the subway who want to fuck you in the face.
I could have told you about what shoes to wear.
Just giving you a few tips overall to make your experience a little easier.
You fell for a lot of first-timer shit, I've got to be honest with you.
I want to help you out next time.
That's all I'm saying.
Good.
So 1983-84, this is what they do.
They draft guys, but then they still play for these junior teams
because he's like 17 years old or whatever.
He's 18, I think he just turned.
But still, it's not really NHL ready yet.
So he plays 83-84 for Brantford still.
65 games played.
He had 35 goals that year.
All right.
That's awesome.
28 assists.
That's a lot.
And 189 penalty minutes.
That's a whole lot.
Which is a fuckload.
We have some of his fights here.
That year, he fought Jeff Bukabum twice in a game, which is nice.
Like I said, the future guy.
Then fought him later on in the year as well.
He fought him January 27th twice, then fought him again on April 8th.
He fought Rick Tockett, who's another famous guy later on.
Overall, though, not bad.
A lot of fights that year, 18 altogether. 18 kind of documented fights.
From this website, it looks like he had about a 70% win percentage that year from what they totaled up.
We're going to add up all his fights, too, at the end.
How do they do wins?
It's just voted.
It's like some of them are draws if the guys are holding each other.
But Probert's fights are not boring.
They never go away.
They don't stop until somebody quits.
I have seen fights with him where
I mean, they're two minutes long of
guys just repeatedly
punching each other in the face, bare
fisted. Those are my favorites.
Yeah, you'd like Bob Probert fights.
He doesn't fuck around. He doesn't pull on
your, I mean, he'll pull your jersey up, but only so he can hit you more.
Like, he fucking punches and
he's a wild man.
I love those when each guy's got a handful of jersey.
One handful of jersey, and the other hand is just punching.
Just slugging.
One's throwing rights, one's throwing lefts, and they're just hitting each other, trading blows.
That's what he does a lot.
It's like, fuck, man.
That's frightening.
84-85, he plays four games with the Hamilton Steelhawks.
Plays 44 games with the Salt St. Marie Greyhounds of the OHL.
That's when he had the issue with the girl and all that.
This is around this era.
44 games played there.
Like I said, 20 goals, 52 assists.
That's fucking great.
That's 72 points in 44 games for this.
That's not bad.
And 172 penalty minutes, too. He's not bad. And 172 penalty minutes, too.
He's a monster.
He'll beat your ass, too.
Again, he's had tons of fights that year, 16 fights that year, so plenty.
I'm sorry, 24 fights that year.
I messed up.
58% win percentage, they're saying that year.
Pretty solid.
Which isn't bad still.
Not all of them are reviewed and told.
Some of them aren't on video.
These are minor league hockey fights.
It's from what we've seen type of thing here.
Also, the 85-86 season, he plays for the Adirondack Red Wings of the AHL.
This is now for kind of in Detroit's farm system.
32 games played there, 12 goals, 15 assists, 152 penalty minutes.
Jesus.
In 32 games. Not bad.2 penalty minutes in 32 games.
Not bad.
In 32 games?
32 games.
He's averaging five minutes a game.
That's cooking.
That's amazing.
That's a lot of fighting, man.
So he actually gets a chance with the Red Wings in the 85-86 season in Detroit.
He makes his presence known quickly.
He comes into the NHL like a tough man coming into prison and wanting to show everyone what he's all about.
Where's the big guy?
That's what he's doing here.
January 13th, 1986, he headbutts a guy named Bob McGill during a bench-clearing brawl versus Toronto.
This is January 13th, 1986.
He receives a match penalty, game misconduct, and a major penalty for the incident.
The NHL suspends him right after the game, and then they have a hearing to figure out.
It was like a big deal.
He head-butted a guy, which isn't okay.
You can throw punches all you want, but once you head-butt a guy, that's a little much, I feel like.
That's eye-gouging and biting at this point.
That's what they're doing there.
Two seconds from kicking him in the nutsack.
They ended up suspending him for four games.
He ends up coming back late in January.
Later on, the coach, though, says about that,
Coach Brad Park said that he specifically ordered his players to leave the bench and join the fight.
He said do it.
Get in there and fight, you pussies.
Okay.
No wonder why he loved hockey.
The coaches are all like his dad. Yeah, pussy, get in there and fight that guy.
Like, man.
Go throw punches now.
Yeah, now you imagine that if a coach said he instructed his team that was on the bench to go join a brawl.
That guy would be forever suspended from the league.
That's how soft the NBA is now.
Anytime there's a fight, the fucking coaches, like, join hands and keep them off on the bench.
Stay there! Stay there!
Don't even cross the baseline!
Here's what Bob says about this.
He says, well, let's give them in their own words.
In their own words, quote,
Yeah, I fought. I think that helped me make it into the league
because they saw I could play and also fight.
Do both. It's kind of a rarity in today's game.
Guys who can do both now sign big
contracts. I wish I was playing today.
Not just as far as money. I was happy.
So you see kind of a, that's later
on after he's retired. He
liked hockey. This is his lifestyle. You go
around, you hang out with your friends,
you fuck whatever you see, whatever
you come across and fall into,
you drink every night, you fight
whenever you feel like it.
This is this guy's like a caveman.
It's a man child life dream here.
He's living some kind of weird fantasy life of like a 13 year old with anger and aggression issues.
1980s caveman, though, you're carrying a big fucking club and everything.
That's that's what it is.
We have a quote from Don Cherry, who's a famous Canadian hockey guy presenter.
I think that's the guy who does like the – he has a hockey show up there.
Like Howard Cosell?
I think – but he's like Mr. Hockey.
OK.
Don Cherry's something hockey night.
I don't remember what it – I had a Canadian friend who talked about – he knew who Don Cherry was and he talked about him.
Sounds terrible.
He said, quote – it sounds boring as fuck.
He said, sounds like something that you only do if you can't go outside because there's eight
foot snow drifts and it's minus 40 out.
So you're like, I guess we'll watch Don Cherry.
There's two fucking channels and Don Cherry's on one of them.
In the summer, it's covered in snow.
In the winter, it's covered in snow.
In the summer, it's moose shit.
We stay inside.
That's it.
We watch Don Cherry.
Don Cherry says, quote, when Probert was fighting, did you ever see anyone get out of their seat
and go for coffee?
So he's like, that's why a guy like that makes the league, because you've got to have a guy who's good and he can score goals, get assists and all that sort of thing.
But at the same time, you want people to buy tickets.
At the same time, there's a little wrestling and everything.
There's a little like, hey, you're going to have some personality, get people in here and whatever.
The Hulkster's going to pose.
He's going to pose.
some personality, get people in here, and whatever. The Hulkster's going to pose.
He's going to pose. So that year
with Detroit,
he plays in 44 games,
has 8 goals and 13 assists,
but 186 penalty minutes.
My Christ. Letting the team know
he's down for the cause
here. He fights
Bob Rouse, or Rousey,
I'm not sure. I think it's Rouse. He fights him on
both September 22nd.
Also fights him November 16th.
Several guys he fights more than once in a season.
He fights Rick Tockett again.
Might as well bring him in on there.
He fights Clark Gillies.
A lot of these fucking fights, man.
Just a consecutive.
Some of these dates.
January 10th, fights uh al secord
uh january 13th he fights bob mcgill january 25th he fights brian curran january 25th same game he
fights a different guy uh gord kluzak fights him january 28th rod langway january 31st lee norwood
that was like fucking two weeks fights more than a goddamn heavyweight. By far he fights more than these guys.
You can't fight every... He fights two different
guys in the same day. And then two days later
he fights another guy. And three days later he
fights another guy. Wow. 19
fights total in his first
NHL full season in the NHL.
So on the
ice he's a complete fucking menace to
society. And as we've chronicled
off the ice, he's not all that slick either.
He's got problems there, including on April 4th, 1986, when he is out in the middle of the night.
I think it's 155 in the morning.
And he is arrested in Windsor on drunken driving and speeding charges.
Of course.
Okay.
Yeah.
Windsor Police Sergeant Harold Pinkerton said
that he was pulled over. Probert was, not
Pinkerton. Pinkerton pulled him over?
Pinkerton was pulled over.
He was pulled over by Harold Pinkerton.
Jesus. He pulled over after he was
clocked at 100 kilometers per hour,
which is about 63,
which isn't that fast, 63
miles an hour, but the problem was it was a 50
kilometer zone, so it was still twice the speed limit, which is not okay.
Not great.
Apparently, once Probert was stopped on the shoulder of the road, he exited the car.
That's always a bad sign when a dude gets right out of the car.
The cops are always like, oh, boy, what do we got here?
Where's he going?
What's going on here?
The police officer said that he, quote, staggered and smelled of alcohol, which is a bad sign.
Right.
Giant guy staggering and smelling of alcohol walking toward you.
Muttering YOLO.
Yeah.
He's more YOLO than Drake, by the way.
I would say.
This is impressive.
I would say that is really all you could do.
He should just be Bob YOLO.
That should be his name.
Because he's not.
That's his whole life. He's killing it. That's his whole life.
That's his whole fucking life.
And he lives that way pretty much always.
This is a crazy goddamn story.
At this point, he's like 21.
Oh, yeah.
He's 20.
20 years old.
He's already gone through two abortions.
Oh, he's got abortions.
He's fucking landladies whose sand has settled.
He's got a lot of shit going on right now.
A lot of shit.
I know what he's saying, too, because I've seen those asses where the sand has settled.
I know what he's saying.
I know exactly what he's saying.
It sounds like a landlady.
That's a fucked up way to say it. Yeah.
Landlady.
Sand's settled.
It sounds like it's just, yeah.
It's hilarious.
It's not.
None of his book.
He doesn't pull punches.
He's not nice or PC or anything like that.
He's pretty honest, I would like that he's uh it's he's pretty
pretty honest so he's taken to the windsor police station where in true uh lunatic fashion he
refuses to take a breathalyzer yeah test of course uh that's mandatory you have to if they say you
have to under canadian law uh he's ends up being up being released eventually to appear in court later on.
He did have to be forcibly restrained at the station because he got very angry that they wanted him to take a breathalyzer.
Yes.
The Red Wings general manager, whose hair is just silver as can be, Jimmy DeVolano, said, quote, it is very, very disappointing.
But it is not surprising to me.
There have been indications of this kind of thing happening before.
The Detroit Hockey Club will not tolerate this type of thing happening too often.
I simply will not tolerate it in the next season.
I will do something.
He just said the next time he does this, he's in trouble.
Too often. Literally, the club will not tolerate this, he's in trouble. Too often.
Literally, the club will not tolerate this type of thing happening too often.
Once in a while, okay, you got to run amok in a police station.
We understand.
That's fine.
But not all the time.
So he will not tolerate this in the next season.
I will do something.
Not this year.
Not now.
But if it happens too often next year, then
I'll do something
then. So that's
all for then. That statement is garbage.
But right now, have a good night
everybody. Have a good one.
Come on by the stadium tomorrow night.
We got two for one hot dogs.
Thank you. Plenty of Labatt's.
Plenty of Labatt's.
Probert couldn't be reached for comment afterwards, shockingly enough.
He was dealing with a hangover.
He's 22.
What the fuck's he going to say?
Right.
Jesus Christ.
Okay, let's just do it now.
I realize this is an odd time right after a DUI to say this, but it's really the only time it can be done.
Grace.
Really?
This is Grace.
When he got out of it?
When he gets out of jail he's not out of it yet
but he gets out of released from jail after uh being acting like a crazy person in the police
station refusing a breathalyzer test and getting a dui so yeah that's uh that's what's happening
there so it's a little bit abortions duis and the coach sweeping under the rug. Grace.
Grace, Jimmy. That's it right there.
That's amazing. Fake IDs.
He's an alcoholic by the time
he gets a driver's license.
Well, he's 18 in Canada.
Isn't he in fucking Detroit?
He can't drink.
Well, Windsor, he got pulled over.
So Ontario, he's fine. Cross the border.
Fuck you. He's drinking.
That's probably why they were like, we'll do something next time.
Yeah, listen.
Listen, everybody.
He's Canadian.
You know what you get when you draft these guys.
They're all going to grow beards and drink beer.
We can't help it.
I'm sorry.
It's just the way it is.
But they're good at hockey.
So good.
At this point around now, I say grace because now it really starts to go off the rails.
This is when he takes cocaine for the first time.
Oh, no.
He says, yeah.
He says, what the hell?
He says, quote, it was an instant love.
Oh, yeah.
I felt like Superman.
Wow.
This is awesome.
Cocaine was magic.
If you do cocaine once and describe it as magic, never go near cocaine ever again that's not good ever
never go near it again ever that is so terrible he spelled yolo in it and did all those that he
was gonna say in cocaine i did coke once when i was a teenager a little drop and it was the worst
thing i've ever done you guys see how i am yeah I'm a little fucking, I got some shit going on.
I'm a little wired.
I got a lot of stuff happening.
Now add more to that.
Me times 10. I wanted to fucking
kill myself. This is horrible. Why would
anyone do this? Why?
Jesus Christ. But
if you describe it as magic,
you're going to have a problem. I'll tell you
that right now.
Magic.
Have you ever taken or eaten or drank anything and said, that's magic?
I don't know. Perrier lime water is fucking magic.
That's not bad.
That's a good point.
That's magic in a bottle.
That's a good point.
Throw a little gin in that?
Forget it.
Drake's Cakes and Devil Dogs and coffee cake.
Magic.
Magic.
But other than that, and I have a problem with those.
Knock okay.
Yeah.
People sent me lots of boxes of devil dogs.
I had to make sure to eat those
before they expire
because they expire quick.
Holy fuck, Jimmy.
I feel like you're on cocaine.
I was eating 10 devil dogs a day at one point.
Like it was,
I had a problem.
It was bad.
And now you've got diabetes.
And now I'm a diabetic.
Fuck, damn it.
Almost.
So July of 1986,
this was, by the way, like we we said he got arrested for the dui in april 4th april 4th 86 was the date uh then he felt like uh superman yeah his cocaine was
magic and then july of 86 a couple months later he's arrested for assaulting a windsor police
officer after a bar fight uh so that's terrific yeah he, he gets in a huge, there's a huge brawl.
It spills outside.
Police show up and he said, well, I guess they're in it too now.
I'm going to sock this guy.
Somebody told them all.
Somebody told them all.
Get in there and throw punches.
It's fucking crazy.
So that's then.
And then July 22nd, a few days later of 86, he agrees to enter the Hazelden Foundation's
rehabilitation facility in Lindstrom, Minnesota.
21 years old.
He's going to rehab.
Oh, by 20.
By 23, I think he'd been to rehab five times.
So we don't find out about all the different rehabs.
There's a bunch of different stints in rehab that we'll talk about.
He's just amazing.
He's in and out of rehab constantly because in the 80s, that was kind of the they didn't know what to do with drug addiction or alcohol addiction or anything in the 80s.
They were just like, I guess, is he willing to go to rehab?
Well, then he's in rehab.
That's fine.
Walk him in rehab, shut the door, let him detox.
And that was like absolving you of responsibility.
We sent him to rehab.
I don't know.
He went to rehab.
And back then it was like, that should clean him up.
That should be good.
It's crazy.
And that's how it was back then, though.
They were just like, just keep sending him to rehab.
And that would allow him to keep coming back.
Anytime, all you had to do was just be like, I have a problem.
And then I went to rehab.
And I'm dealing with it.
And people would be like, well, come on back and play.
Good for you.
Which is great.
Which is fine.
That's good.
But I mean, you can't expect people to not relapse is the problem with these type of things.
It's going to happen.
And if you're talking about, especially if you put them on the road and put them around a bunch of people who do nothing but drink booze, it happens here.
When you're an addict, you're going to relapse.
It happens.
How many people do you know that have done drugs, got into a problem, went to rehab,
and then got up and just fucking smooth sailing?
Forever.
Yeah.
Never met a person in my life.
It's not how it works.
It's just not how it works.
It's not.
Really not.
He said after the first 10 days, though, he was moved to the Abbott Northwestern Hospital in Minneapolis where he was treated for withdrawal for alcohol.
He was such an alcoholic.
He had to be taken out of the alcohol hospital and put in an even more hardcore alcohol hospital because that's how bad his withdrawals were.
Have you ever seen that?
Yeah, it's fucking horrible.
It's the worst thing ever.
It's terrible.
It's terrible. And that's what he was withdrawals were. Have you ever seen that? Yeah, it's fucking horrible. It's the worst thing ever. It's terrible. It's terrible.
And that's what he was going through at that point.
So that's kind of how much of an alcoholic he was here.
So scary.
Yeah.
In total, he spent 36 days in two rehab programs.
And according to the newspaper, he, quote, returned to training camp with a renewed sense of himself.
36 days.
36 days.
All done. Drinking since he was days. 36 days, all done.
Drinking since he was 14 every night, 12 packs, whole lifestyle.
36 days.
He's cured, Jimmy.
Hall of Fame, here I come.
Cured.
All good now.
He's good now.
Unbelievable.
It's fine.
In actuality, what actually was going on is when he went to rehab, he was sent to rehab and he recounts how he liked rehab a lot at that time because he was fucking a patient.
He was fucking another patient, which is why he also is another reason why they moved him
to another hospital.
He says that he will not say who it was, but he says she was a celebrity and says that his quote is that she was married to a guy whose parents were rich in the sports world.
I read about their divorce in the paper the next year.
It was a big scandal in the States.
They had a terrible custody battle.
So around –
Sarah McLaughlin.
She's married to an athlete in the States in 1987?
Maybe.
She's Canadian.
She's Canadian.
Canadians.
Celine Dion.
Brian Adams.
Yeah, there we go.
They're flowing now.
I don't think she's Canadian.
But she's married to an athlete.
She looks Canadian.
She was married to an athlete.
I don't know.
That's true.
Yeah, who knows?
There's a lot of married athletes.
So there was apparently, if you look at some sort of public sports divorce in 1987-ish with a big custody battle, that's who we're dealing with.
I don't know who that is.
Or possibly not.
Or not.
Or maybe he's lying.
Maybe, but something tells me he's not lying.
Just something for him here.
Once again, good now.
Obviously, get out of rehab, and your biggest accomplishment in rehab was fucking some broad that you met whose husband is a sports guy.
And she's going through a messy divorce and she's got a fucking substance abuse problem.
Maybe he didn't take it seriously is all I'm getting at here.
So October 2nd, 1986, he avoids jail time.
He's placed on probation after promising that he would no longer use alcohol to the court.
So that's his issue there.
He said, and then he came out afterwards and said, total contrition.
Listen, I'm sorry.
You know, terrible mistakes.
From now on, I'm going to be a different person.
I'm not going to drink alcohol, and I understand what I did wrong, and I just want to help
the community, the whole thing.
Later on, he said, quote, I thought having this kind of stuff on the record would be helpful in my future court dates.
That's what he said.
He's like, I knew what I was doing when I was publicly telling everybody.
He's like, this is total bullshit.
Like, I knew I'd be getting arrested again sometime and I would need this sort of thing.
Those whole public myokopas really fucking just irk me.
They're so dumb.
It's so stupid.
What are you telling us for it?
Right.
We're not your fucking wife.
Show us, dickhead.
We're not your mom.
Go tell your kids that you embarrassed.
Right.
Go fucking apologize to your employer who pays you money.
I don't do shit.
You don't owe me a thing.
Right.
Who cares?
I just like watching you fight.
Yeah.
So November of 86, he is barred from reentering the United States because of the assault on the police
officer.
So there's a problem there.
That ends up eventually getting worked out.
But there's a little time period there where he can't enter the United States.
For him.
For him, yeah.
You have a plumber in Canada try to fight a cop and then try to get into the U.S.
Not happening.
It's worse getting into Canada.
Right.
You can't.
If you had. Oh, my God, Jimmy, have a disorderly conduct 10 years ago. And then try to get in there U.S. Not happening. It's worse getting into Canada. Right. You can't. If you had.
Oh, my God, Jimmy, have a disorderly conduct 10 years ago.
And then try to get in there?
They won't fucking let you in there.
It's crazy time.
But if you play hockey.
Oh, come on in.
That's the thing.
Yeah, well, fuck.
I remember Rod Beck, the baseball player I knew, telling me that when Mel Hall was on
his team, we know about Mel Hall.
Mel Hall had arrests before that.
They used to have to sneak him into.
He used to sneak into Canada.
He had to sneak into Canada.
It couldn't be known that he was there if they were going to play the Expos, if the
Giants were going to play the Expos.
It was like, you know, put a blanket over Hall.
Fucking ridiculous, man.
Under the dark of night, they're smuggling in a ball player.
Fucking ridiculous.
With a jerry curl, just juice dripping behind him.
Shit freezing in the street.
So, 1986,
1987,
he plays for Adirondack. He only
plays in seven games. He has one goal,
four assists, and 15 penalty
minutes. Reason being is
that middle of the night, he's in Windsor
and he is arrested by Windsor police
for driving while impaired. Again.
Again. Twice in eight months
now, he's charged with not only
DUI, but violating his probation, where
he says the one thing he's not supposed to do is
drink alcohol, and that is the thing he's
done the most. And he
can't really deny it either. He can't say, I was
fine, I didn't swerve, nothing happened
because he drove his car into a fucking
concrete utility pole, then was arrested. With no. Nothing happened because he drove his car into a fucking concrete utility pole.
Then was arrested.
With no other cars.
He just drove his car into a hotel.
Where'd they go?
That guy must be fucked up.
Pull him out of the car.
Hey, look, he's all fucked up.
So, fucking idiot.
He had 17 that night and passed out behind the wheel.
That's what ended up happening here.
So, like I said, he's charged with DUI.
He's charged with all this shit.
His license is suspended and he's fined $500 right away.
Detroit suspends him indefinitely.
Indefinitely.
Really?
We want nothing to Jimmy.
He said, too often.
I will not put up with this too often.
Turns out, he said, you know what, Bob?
One more chance.
Only a two-game suspension for you.
Instead of indefinite.
He learned his lesson.
Two days. He learned his lesson. Two days.
He learned his lesson.
Two fucking days later.
This was December 19th, and he came back.
The game he was back was December 23rd.
Four fucking days.
So it was a four-day, two-game suspension.
You go home and think about what you've done.
They're like, well, we're playing the Blackhawks two days before Christmas.
We need this fucking guy here.
January 30th, 1987, he's fined $2,000, had his driver's license revoked after he's convicted of two drinking-related charges from the December 19th.
They convict him of DUI and violating probation by drinking.
So that's two convictions there.
They take it serious as fuck.
They do.
But at that time, they do also acquit him of the more serious, there was a serious
DUI charge, and they had a couple of
underlying charges, and they
acquitted him of the hardcore one
and gave him the
lightweight ones here, so that's
what happens in a plea. Well, the one
that you can get three years in jail for, we'll get rid of that
and you pay two grand and give over your license,
you fucking shithead.
That's all there is to it here.
They revoked his license.
He's so young.
You can't have a license anymore.
Like an old man who can't see his hand in front of his face,
we have to take it from you.
You're not responsible enough for an automobile.
Jesus Christ.
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And now back to the show.
February 11th, 1987, there is the NHL's All-Star break.
It is for the Rendezvous series with the Soviets.
Apparently they played some games with the Soviets.
During that time, Bob returns to rehab at the Red Wings insistence.
They were like, maybe you need a little more.
I don't think, like just 10 more minutes.
Put it on 350 and get it bacon.
You're a little soft.
I like that they're playing Russians and they're naming the series something French.
The Rendezvous series, yeah.
That's fucking great.
It's another foreign team. That's what it is.
Maybe it was in Montreal.
That's all we can think here.
So he went to the Brentwood Recovery Center in Windsor.
He ends up not returning to the – but he returns to the Detroit lineup on March 2nd.
So it's like three weeks later, he's back in the lineup already.
So that was really big time.
We were teaching him his lesson.
Really doing a thing there.
It's a special work release program from rehab.
All right.
Which is ridiculous because he's in like rehab and kind of like a halfway kind of a thing too.
So he's allowed to attend Red Wings games and practices while still taking
part in the treatment program, which isn't treatment.
That's not getting away from all that. So you're
going to go to work and come home and then get treatment.
I'm not a doctor, but that's not
how rehab works. Also, the thing that's
triggering and making him do drugs and alcohol
is the hockey. It's the hockey. It's the enabler.
It's the other thing. It's helping anyway.
That's his whole wheelhouse.
You know what I mean?
So all he had to do was provide someone to take him from the rehab center to all the team functions.
He had to have a driver, obviously.
So he did that. He comes back on February 28, 1987.
He gets out of the rehab program and returns on March 2nd, like I said.
And eventually, though,
that's when he's in and out. The March 2nd, he does that.
You know, you have to have a
ride and all that shit. But by March 30th,
he's kicked out of the Brentwood program
for violating program rules.
And Detroit says, alright, I guess you're
playing hockey still. They're like, that's fine.
We got you. What are you going to do?
Bench you? No, you're a hockey player. We're playing hockey still. They were like, that's fine. We got you. What are you going to do? What are we going to do? Bench you? No.
You're a hockey player. We're playing hockey.
You fight a lot. We need you. You know what?
If you need to have a couple of drinks before you get in there
and sock a man in the head, so be it.
Knock yourself out, pal. We got it
in the cooler. So he's in there. Now,
in hockey that year, because he's had a busy
year off the ice, on the ice, pretty
goddamn busy, too. He plays in 63
games. How do you have that
much shit going on and still somehow playing 63 out of 82 games you figure out 63 nights to be at
the fucking at the rink incredible when you're not being arrested or in rehab or fucking a celebrity
or fighting cops or doing some shit uh he has 13 goals 11, and 221 penalty minutes that year.
Detroit goes to the conference finals and loses to Edmonton.
Got it.
Loses to the Oilers, who were kind of – they were nasty in the mid-'80s.
They had Gretzky and Messier and shit. Oh, okay.
They were nasty.
That's a cool jersey.
Yeah, they were the Oilers jerseys.
A big fucking circle on their chest.
Those are pretty dope.
I like those.
That's really cool about hockey is that their jerseys, their logo, they're huge on the chest.
Hockey jerseys are cool as fuck.
They are.
They look cool, but to wear them is very impractical.
It's very weird.
But they look cool as shit.
It looks like a-
They're like ornate.
They're cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it looks like a Spanish poncho.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When you wear it, if you're wearing it with jeans, you look stupid.
It's almost like that's like, I think they might be the coolest jerseys, hockey
jerseys, baseball jerseys.
Yeah.
Cool as fuck.
Yeah.
And then and then I think football are mostly shit.
They're really shit.
There's only a few unis that are pretty kick ass.
There's no real logos on them.
It's just kind of a.
Anyway, we're way off the subject here.
Basketball by far the dumbest thing to wear out in public.
Definitely.
So, yeah, because it's a tank top.
I'm wearing a tank top now.
You are an asshole.
I feel like an idiot.
So it's 221 penalty minutes, and that encompasses 23 fights that year.
23 fucking fights.
For how many minutes?
221 penalty minutes.
And he is fighting, again, a lot of the same guys.
You're Bob McGills.
You're guys like that.
He fights Kevin McGuire multiple times this year. Fights Todd Ewan twice of the same guys. You're Bob McGills. You're guys like that. He fights Kevin McGuire multiple times this year.
Fights Todd Ewan twice in the same night.
Then fights him again three weeks later.
So he's very into him.
Craig Berube likes to fight.
He's very into him.
Very into fighting him.
He fights Craig Berube on March 28th.
And then April 1st, they play Philly again, and he fights Berube again twice.
Good Christ.
Same dude, going after him again.
Going after him again.
That's what happens all the time, too.
It's funny, and some of these fights they classify as unfair, because that'll be one where Probert just grabbed a guy and beat an unwilling participant.
Because that happens sometimes with Probert.
Grab him by the throat.
He'll just grab guys who are not trying to fight him and fight them.
Like, well, you're fighting now.
So it's like we don't have to.
This isn't a submarine.
We don't have to both turn the key.
We're fighting.
So that year they called him.
They said his record was 13-5-3 that year in the fights on this website.
Pretty good.
Not bad.
Not bad at all. December 3, 1987, and 3 that year in the fights on this website. Pretty good. Not bad. Not bad at all.
December 3, 1987, he is jailed one night in Redford Township, Michigan, for violating
his probation related to the DUI conviction.
He was out drinking.
Got it.
And he got busted for some sort of public drunkenness.
Yeah.
And they said, you're not supposed to be, A, doing this.
No one is.
And, B, you're especially not because you're not supposed to even be drinking at all.
Even in the privacy of your own home, you shouldn't be drinking.
His name is Robert Probert?
Robert Probert.
That's a weird fucking name.
Robert Probert.
His last name is his first name with a P.
Yeah.
Robert Probert.
And he's got two Burt's in his name.
He's double Burt.
Burt squared, bitch.
And how did they not ever call him Bob Probation Probert?
How did that never come up?
Yeah, that's a good question.
Really?
How did they never do that?
They were still trying to figure out if it was Probert or Probert, I think.
That's why.
Is it Probert or Probert?
I don't know.
Never mind.
Fuck it.
They went away there.
This year, he plays in 87-88.
He plays in 74 games, 29 goals, 33 assists, which is amazing.
That's a great year.
398 penalty minutes.
My Christ.
He kicked it up a notch.
300.
From 200 to 300.
98 penalty minutes.
He damn near doubled it. 400, basically. He almost doubled up a notch. 300. From 200 to 300. 98,000 minutes. He damn near doubled it.
400, basically.
He almost doubled it.
Almost, which is, it leads the league, and it's an insane amount.
So insane.
They love him so much that in March of that year, in March of 1988,
toward the end of the season, Detroit signs him to a three-year, $200,000 a year deal.
Robert Probert, come here.
Come here, Robert Probert.
We like you because you fought 35
times that year.
35 fights.
Holy shit.
That's so much.
35 fucking fights? How many games?
He played
in 74 games
and gotten 35 fights.
That is... Once every two
nights. That's fucking crazy.
And several times.
October 17th, he fights twice.
Different guys.
November 19th, he fights different guys twice.
December 23rd, he fights two different fucking guys in the same game.
Unbelievable.
And then there's times like January 23rd, 24th, he fights different guys.
Back to back.
Different nights.
The 29th, he's fighting again.
It's fucking crazy.
That's so much fighting.
March 19th, he fights two different guys.
Vicious fighting.
This is all vicious, bare-fisted.
Yeah.
And if you fall down, you're hitting your head on ice.
Right.
This is all brutality.
So dangerous.
So fucking dangerous.
And there's someone else also has, everyone's wearing razor blades on their feet.
Highly dangerous. It's fucking dangerous. And someone else also has, everyone's wearing razor blades on their feet. Highly dangerous.
It's fucking nuts.
It's almost just like a trick just to be able to throw punches while skating on ice.
Like, I feel like that's showing off anyway.
I wouldn't care if you were shadow boxing.
I'd be like, you're pretty good at that.
That's fucking great.
Now, taking out all the unfair fights and shit like that they say that he went
23 and 5 20 wins 3 losses and 5 draws this year in his uh fighting seven unfairs that's not bad
seven unfairs a bunch of unfairs and a couple that just got broken up quick too if like if it
if they get too kind of you know how it goes yeah trying to get leverage he's had several unfair
fights against kevin mcguire i don't know what it is about this Kevin Maguire guy
that gets under old Pro Bear's skin so fucking much,
but he just fights this guy against his will repeatedly.
I don't understand why that is.
But, hey, what are you going to do?
He must have pissed him off good.
May 1988, mind you, just signed two months ago a brand-new deal.
So you expect this guy to be Mr. fucking Detroit citizen at this point.
Just good guy taking one for the team.
They're in the conference finals.
They go all the way to the conference finals.
You win this, you go to the Stanley Cup finals, you could be champions.
They're playing Edmonton, who's a fucking dynasty.
Okay, all hands on deck.
We need to be good.
The night before game five, by the way, with Edmonton up in the series three to one.
Oh, no.
They're losing.
Bob is caught drinking and violating curfew along with several other Detroit players before the game that night.
Before the game?
Before that.
The night before the game.
Oh, OK.
They're getting shit-faced, violating curfew.
It's like two in the morning, and they're out drinking with a gay in the next day.
They're supposed to be in.
That's a big deal for sports teams if you have a playoff series.
You're supposed to be in by curfew.
And also they end up losing game five with that, the series.
What a dick.
If they came in and won 8-1, then he could be like, hey, man, that's my process.
But if you go in and lose, then stop fucking drinking, moron.
It's not helping you any.
Jackass.
So 1988-1989 season, he plays in 25 games, four goals, two assists,
106 penalty minutes, but it's a very, very interesting year.
The stats mean nothing.
September of 1988, he's suspended indefinitely by the team.
Again.
Yeah, again. So that's got to be two games's suspended indefinitely by the team. Again. This is before.
Yeah, again.
So that's got to be two games is indefinite on this team.
He's reinstated soon after, obviously, here.
Apparently, at this point here, the Red Wings obviously have a special set of rules for Probert.
Like, he can go out and act like a lunatic and it's okay. I don't think if everybody on the team was out getting DUIs, punching cops, staying out past curfew, that just wouldn't happen.
You can't have everybody doing that.
So the fact that he's doing it and they're letting him get away with it is pissing people off.
It's pissing some of the players off because they're like, hey, fuck that.
If I got a fucking DUI, I'd be in trouble.
This guy gets a DUI.
They just, you know, shuffle him off to rehab and pat him on the back.
And he's back in two weeks doing the same shit.
He's out drinking with us.
Indefinite for two days.
He's indefinitely suspended.
They're not going to put up with it too much.
I'll tell you that right now.
What that indefinitely means is he's definitely suspended, but we may.
We don't know how much.
I'm not sure.
It's indefinite that he'll be suspended.
But, I mean, the amount of time is up in the air if we want to get really semantic about the whole thing.
The only time I've ever heard indefinite suspension in the NFL was with Ray Rice.
And I'm pretty sure that man is still suspended.
Still six years later.
Not suspended, just practically suspended.
A practical suspension, whereas no one will sign you.
Fucking banned
forever. Absolutely.
The team, the management, some of
the management, some of the coaches are like, why do we put up
with this shit? And the management
puts up with this shit. Some of the players are like, why
are the coaches putting this up? It's just causing up a lot of
rifts between a lot of different groups of people.
They wonder what shape he's going to
be in when he shows up.
Is he going to show up on time?
Will he be hungover?
Will he be shit-faced?
Will he be fucking pie-eyed on Coke?
What's his condition going to be in?
How does one guy create so many questions and uncertainty?
It's insane.
Before they just give up. And he's fresh off a stint in the Betty Ford Center in Palm Springs out there for his alcoholism.
That is five alcohol rehabilitation centers in the last three years he's been to, which is not terrific.
He said that he would have to stay.
At first he said he would have to stay in the clinic for two to three months because he's got a problem.
But two weeks later he said, I'm good now.
Yeah.
I'm getting out of here.
Yeah.
So obviously the Red Wings probably should have said, hey, guy, listen, you have, you've
completed these programs and it didn't help.
I doubt getting out way early is going to help you.
They just said, hey, there's your skates.
Grab your stick, buddy, and punch that guy.
Knock yourself out.
Didn't give a fuck.
Knock yourself and him out.
Silver-haired as shit.
Go ahead and knock that brain around your skull for a little while longer.
He fled the Betty Ford Clinic.
He was under a team suspension for missing several flights and practices during training camp, which is fucking nuts.
So he's had a lot of problems is what they're getting at here. Now, he was fined
$200 on September 20th
88 for missing a team bus and a
flight from Chicago to Detroit.
That was one of the training camp incidents.
They demoted him to the minor
leagues at that point just to show him
that they meant business.
So then they ended up suspending
him indefinitely because he skipped
a flight and a practice in the minors.
What did they think?
He would take minor league hockey more seriously?
Like, oh, I got to get to the minor league practice now, even though I know I'm a star.
I just got a big contract.
The NHL.
I'm going to hurry up and get there.
Jesus Christ.
So, yeah, apparently Detroit insisted that he enter rehab.
That's when he went to Betty Ford and fled 10 days into it.
He flew back to Detroit from the Betty Ford Clinic,
and other passengers reported that he was obviously drunk on the plane.
So he gets out.
Amazing.
He's going to get out of rehab.
What are you going to do?
Tie one on.
You've got to fucking celebrate.
You've got to get on a flight.
Have a couple to calm down here.
His agent, Patrick Duchesne, said that he told team officials that Probert had to leave rehab to come back to the Red Wings because he needed money and was flat broke.
Oh, boy.
So they said he's totally broke.
The suspension costs him $1,300 a day in lost salary.
And he was forced to sell his home and his Corvette while he lived in an alcohol recovery halfway house.
He doesn't have a license.
No.
Well, that's the thing.
Why do you have a Corvette?
Especially a fast car.
So he's taking antabuse to the alcohol drug and living in a halfway house at that point during the rehab stint.
Professional athlete.
Professional athlete.
In a halfway house. Halfway house.
Halfway house, not allowed into other countries,
selling his house and Corvette and all this shit.
Unbelievable.
Not going well for him so far.
That's why I said grace earlier.
Now you see why, right?
That DUI was charming compared to this shit that's going on now.
That was putting your napkin on your lap.
Oh, man, that was foreplay.
That's what that was. It was putting your napkin on your lap. Oh, man, that was foreplay. That's what that was.
It was nothing.
Jesus.
Fuck.
Now, October of 1988,
with everything going not terrific for him,
everything going terrible,
this is when you want to take on big new relationships.
We always say this is when you want to get married.
You need some support.
You need some support.
You need to find someone with as many problems as you
to latch on to,
because that will never go wrong, obviously. You need a yes someone with as many problems as you to latch on to because that will never go wrong.
You need a yes man that loves
to suck your cock. That's what you're looking for.
That's what you're looking for. Well, he
meets Danny, D-A-N-I,
Danny, in October of 1988.
He's staying at the Relax
Plaza in Windsor while he's suspended
by the Red Wings and his
work permit was revoked by the U.S. government
for that time period.
It's amazing.
Danny ignored her mother's warnings to stay away from him and fell in love with him once
she got over his, quote, highlighted mullet and the acid-washed jeans.
It was 1988.
That was the peak of fashion.
Acid-washed jeans and a highlighted mullet?
You were a fucking fashionable cat at that point if you had that.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
Yeah, you're right.
I've seen Stranger Things.
Yeah.
That boy pops in in the second season and everybody's like, whose ass is that?
I want to get to know it.
Dude, in 88, October of 88, tell me you wouldn't have killed for a highlighted mullet and some
good acid-washed jeans as a child yeah i would have been
like that's fucking awesome jesus christ that's like that's like having a motorcycle that's cool
as fuck that's just being kurt cameron for 10 minutes this is great so uh yeah she said she
said quote he was a really good looking guy real charismatic real charismatic great sense of humor
uh she said that her uh the relationship had peaks peaks and valleys, but she stuck by him here always.
And later on, they'll have a long, protracted relationship, obviously.
Now, a lot of pressure from the fans.
They want Probert back.
They do.
They wanted him back.
So Detroit lets him join the team after all this mess with the rehab and Betty Ford.
I met a girl.
I'm fine now.
Everything is fine now here.
After he returns, he does a big personal apology to all his teammates and all that kind of shit.
Absolutely.
He does the big mea culpa there.
They roomed him with Peter Klima.
I don't know who he is.
He's a hockey player, obviously.
I don't have a fucking clue.
Maybe a coach.
He'd been going through similar battles with alcohol, apparently.
He was like a recovering guy.
He was kind of like a sponsor they gave him here.
He thought that they would have a good influence on him.
You two are shitheads.
Hang out together.
That's what they did.
They said, well, the older shithead, he was like a trustee.
And they were like, look, don't help him escape from prison.
Just show him around. And they were like, look, don't help him escape from prison. Just show him around.
Yeah.
So they do that.
It worked for a little while.
And then by the time January came around, Probert showed up late for a game versus Montreal
and was scratched from the lineup and told the public that it was the flu.
He showed up late and they were just like, yeah, Probert's got the flu tonight.
He's not going to be playing.
Brown bottle flu.
Yeah.
Later on, Detroit admitted that they had been covering up for him.
Yeah.
Which they had.
Completely, totally covered up for him here.
He suspended again January 25th for violating team rules.
Didn't return to the team until February 15th.
Wow.
Returns to the lineup February 25th versus Chicago.
A lot of shit going on.
These last two years have just been a mess.
A shit storm.
So all this rehab, all this shit.
He had the flu.
He had all this shit.
I'm using air quotes.
All this stuff.
Finally, February 25th, he's back with the Red Wings, playing Chicago.
Everything is fine, right?
I mean, this is good.
I think this is...
You know, I think maybe he's going to go through...
This would have to be a wake-up call. It's gotta be.
For anybody. You know what I mean?
So February 25th, he's back.
So six days later, on March
3rd, 1989,
he's arrested at the
United States and Canada border
for smuggling 14.3
grams of cocaine into the United States.
No.
You fucking idiot.
Why?
They found the cocaine during a strip search here.
7 a.m. on the United States side of the Detroit-Windsor tunnel.
Yes, apparently they found, they saw some shit in his car, booze and shit like that in the car.
They pulled him out.
I was like, Jesus, they really take that border crossing shit serious.
Yeah.
You pop up to the border and they're like, all right.
Out of the car, everybody.
Drop them pants.
Bend over and cough.
Well, they look through his coat pocket, which is the most non-intrusive fucking search you can do.
the most non-intrusive fucking search you can do.
And they found a cocaine mill, you know, grind up the fucking grind rock into powder here in his coat pocket.
So that's a problem.
So then now they're strip searching you. And once they do, they find 14.3 grams of cocaine in his underpants.
Why didn't you just put the grinder in there?
In his underpants. So now't you just put the grinder in there? Underpants.
So, now.
What an idiot.
You can't, and he tried to say, well, that's not mine.
Yeah.
I'm going to go ahead on a limb here.
Crime and sports rule.
If it's in your underpants, it belongs to you.
Period.
No one can hide something in your underpants without you knowing it.
Because you know what's in your underpants.
You just know what's in there.
That's not mine.
You know every last...
If a crumb is in your underwear, you fucking know it.
So a half ounce of Coke, you probably know it's there.
I've found a hair in there walking.
Like, I didn't even have to reach it.
You just know.
I was walking.
I go, there's a hair in there.
A hair, goddammit. Half ounce of Coke. You just know. I was walking. I go, there's a hair in there. A hair.
God damn it.
Half ounce of Coke.
So that's crime and sports rule.
If it's in your underwear, you fucking own it.
How's that?
Forever.
Yeah.
God Jesus.
I guess the car had empty beer and liquor containers.
That's why they initially did that.
They also learned that his immigration document had expired.
And then they found a secondary search of his car.
They had two amphetamine tablets and a bunch of drug paraphernalia also.
Of course.
So loaded down.
You're crossing a border.
Do you even think, hey, maybe streamline the shit I have?
Right.
Maybe just the Coke?
That way they really have to go.
It's going to be a lot if they just strip search me for nothing.
If you have half ounce of Coke that you're smuggling across the border, I would say nothing else suspicious in the car.
How about also, too?
That's the rule.
They got Coke grinders here.
You know what I mean?
That's what I'm saying.
Don't bring it with you.
Nothing else suspicious.
Everything else clean, they have no reason to strip search me.
So, yeah, it's...
Unbelievable.
What a fucking mess here.
He's arraigned. That's here. So he's arraigned.
That's not mine. He's arraigned with two women and a man who are also in the car.
They said the inspector here says, quote, when inspectors first examined the vehicle, they determined Probert's immigration document had expired and observed empty beer and liquor containers.
So that's the official statement right there.
So cocaine in his underwear, not great.
Why does it keep making me laugh?
That's going to be the title of the show.
There's cocaine in my underwear.
I think that's going to be.
The National Hockey League has a statement.
They said, quote, it is the long-established policy of the NHL that if one uses or is caught with illegal drugs, he will be suspended.
I wish that you would have edited that and said, it is the long-standing position of the NHL that anything in your underwear is yours.
You own it.
We're sorry.
That should be – we should all take that.
People say the golden rule. People say the golden rule.
That's the golden rule.
If it's in your underwear, it's yours.
That's it.
Sorry.
Fuck.
All yours.
Wow.
This is a long-standing position in the NHL.
I don't know if you know that.
I don't know if you know this, but anything found in a player's underwear belongs to that player,
and they will be disciplined accordingly.
So he's got bigger problems than worrying about the NHL because this charge carries a maximum of 20 years in prison.
Holy shit.
And a $1 million fine on conviction.
Because right away, they're saying you're trafficking right now.
You're smuggling.
So that's a problem in the beginning here.
He pleads not guilty.
This is nice.
What else are you going to do?
He's released after posting a $5,000 cash bond.
He's ordered to remain in the United States pending a preliminary examination.
Still 23 years old right now.
Wow.
Amazing.
Yes.
Like I said, this was a long known thing uh basically there's an
article here that i i found in the it's so funny how especially in the 80s people were very
righteous about this like we're gonna kick them out forever or it was like we need to help them
but there was a very big chasm in between the two camps of how to deal with players that had
drug problems and shit oh you mean it mean it's like illegal immigration right now?
Kind of like that.
It's a little similar.
Kind of an analogy.
One side saying we keep them, the other side saying get fucking rid of all of them.
Yeah.
So this here, this person says in the article, quote, rumors that his problems went behind
alcohol abuse had long been circulating around the National Hockey League and scared off
several teams that were interested in acquiring him
from the Detroit Red Wings for his size and brute strength.
It's unlikely he will ever play in the NHL again.
At 23.
They're saying he's done.
He's going to be banned for life probably.
What do you think, Jimmy?
You think he's banned for life, never going to play again or what?
Maybe like a fruit fly's life.
Listen, we will not tolerate our players having too much cocaine.
Right.
An ounce is too much, just so you know.
So he's under that.
He's good.
All right.
We're bringing him back.
The Detroit coach here is upset that they're pissed off at the –
he's pissed off at the fans because tons of fans have written the Red Wings
blaming them for mishandling him, which, yeah.
You have a kid that's like 21.
You had him since he was 20, 21, 22, 23 years old with a huge drug problem,
and you're just like, yeah, go to rehab.
Oh, no, he came out early.
That's fine.
Get in the lineup.
That's fucked up.
You were using him.
You're silver-haired, middle-aged white manning him, and you're not helping any.
You guys are benefiting like crazy.
Yeah.
And now he's 23 and possibly threw his life away because everything's easy.
That's exactly right.
The coach said, quote, if his career is over, the first question I asked myself today is,
what is he going to do?
All he had was hockey.
He's not a jerk.
I'm sad.
I stuck with him to the end, and unfortunately that end turned out to be very negative.
We never mishandled Probert.
So that was, I love him and he's great, but in the end that was, I did nothing wrong.
This is not my responsibility. He's a great kid. Yeah, apparently they had been trying great, but in the end, I did nothing wrong. This is not my responsibility.
He's a great kid.
Yeah, apparently they had been trying to trade him in recent months,
but nobody really offered much because they were like,
let's see how his rehabs all work out here.
Also, he's got Coke in his drawers.
That's another thing, too.
Have you checked his underwear lately?
The general manager said, quote,
maybe getting him away from the environment in Windsor where he grew up
would have helped him, but we wouldn't have paid much of a price for him, and evidently
other teams felt the same way.
So they're like, maybe, I don't know, don't go home and hang out with your old buddies
when you're suspended from the league.
That sort of thing.
As we always say.
Yeah.
They said, they asked the GM if the Wings had suspected him of using drugs, and the GM said, quote, that would be accurate to say.
Well, then what were you doing about it?
He said, quote, there will be a fallout and ramifications from this, and screening might be something the players want.
I don't think any of our players would be worried about testing for drugs.
We're proud of our league's image and not having a problem with drug use, and we want to keep it that way.
our league's image and not having a problem with drug use, and we want to keep it that way.
Your image is that you don't have a problem with drug use, but from all these stories
we know, huge problem with drug use in the 80s.
Huge problem.
All the way back.
So much.
All the way back to the first fucking hockey guy we ever did.
Right.
You know what I mean?
It's probably why the U.S. beat Russia that year.
Yeah.
No, it's true.
They're all on coke.
That's what I mean.
But it was all the way back in the 70s that we were talking about this, and these guys were taking Coke and doing a lot of Coke.
And in the 80s, the guy said – what was it?
He said, one-fourth of the players do Coke and all that kind of shit.
It was like not a –
All the all-stars.
Yeah.
The guys who skate real fast, all those guys.
So then – wow.
He says that.
Then they're talking about possibly a screening test in the collective bargaining agreement.
Maybe we'll do that sort of thing.
Then a Blackhawks player said, quote, players have to watch themselves closely because all kinds of people want to be their friend and be attached to the so-called star.
You go out in society and temptations are there.
We're not angels.
I like to have a beer as much as the next guy, but we have to stay aware that associating with people who take drugs is as bad as taking them.
Guilty by association.
It's sad someone with Probert's talents had to do this to himself, but if he's guilty, he should be banished.
We have to keep drugs out of the game.
It's a tough position to take, but my son is going to ask me about it, and there's no question how it should be handled.
Yeah, okay.
Don't bring your kid into this you fuck face
no that's a player saying it but whatever but there's so much hypocrisy going on in that
statement completely it's just fucking ridiculous just like for anybody in athletics to snipe at
anybody else else in athletics for drugs or for steroids or for anything they fucking do when
everybody's doing weird shit and they're all trying to get an edge and they'd all cheat if they could find that 1% in that they could use.
Or that one thing that isn't caught, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Or however much you can take before it shows up in a piss test.
If they knew all of that chemistry shit, they'd be doing all of it just to get around the
piss test.
Absolutely.
For sure.
I want to be the best too.
Well, they do polls of athletes and they did a polls of athletes saying if you could take steroids and you know it would get you, they asked like a potential Olympic hopefuls, you know it would get you an Olympic gold medal and you know you'd never get caught.
Would you do it?
And it's like 88% of them said yes because they're trying to fucking win.
That's the bottom line.
I don't know.
So the coach here, Demers,ers said uh quote i was shocked at
his latest trouble because it was drugs if i got a call and they said that bob probert was drunk
i'd say oh he's done that again but drugs this is something completely different no it's not so
you know we knew he had tons of problems that was march 3rd uh march when he was 20 he called that
shit magic we're talking about three years later. Cocaine is magic. It was awesome.
March 5th, NHL president John Ziegler expels
Probert from the league.
It's fucking funny.
It's expulsion for life
unless Probert is exonerated of the
charges.
The president didn't wait to speak to Probert.
He just did it. They said,
quote,
when I see a 23-year year old kid who's throwing his
career away uh it's sad but it's out of our hands uh bob's going to go away for a while yeah so
that's a little cold-blooded here uh joey coker the uh other goon from uh around the league said
quote these things just kept going on and on they didn't stop but bob the Bob Probert saga is over with now. He's gone.
He's gone, Jimmy.
He's 23, bro. They're acting like he died.
Right.
It's over.
He's gone.
Never going to see him again.
That's like somebody saying that after fucking Johnny Manziel got kicked out of the fucking league.
It's not over.
It's not over.
He's not dead.
He's still on TMZ every day.
Especially because this guy was actually a good player.
Right.
So it's definitely not over if he's a good player.
If he's a shit player, it's over.
If he's 5'8", doing fucking, counting dollar bills and shit, it's over for him.
6'3", 225.
It ain't over.
It ain't over.
He's coming back.
He had 12 fights that year.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Including a doubleheader on January 15th against Jeff Chichren, which was Chichren?
Chichren?
Chichren.
Chichren.
I can't remember how to say that still from the goddamn 80s.
Every goddamn time we fight.
Don't look at me.
The team loses to Chicago in the playoffs here.
The team, Red Wings officials said they knew that it was rumored that Probert had widened his alcohol addiction into cocaine and were not surprised by the news of his arrest.
Now they're not surprised.
They said Probert had refused the team's offers to get him help over his drug problem.
He denied he used cocaine at all.
He's not allowed to apply for reinstatement into the NHL until his legal case is closed.
So over the course of the next year, holy shit, he goes through extensive rehab.
He serves a 90-day jail sentence resulting in pleading guilty to federal drug smuggling charges.
Oh, boy.
So now he's a convicted federal drug smuggler.
That's not good.
He only does 90 days for that, though.
He does his prison time 90 days.
Coke in your balls.
There's a guy that got caught three times hearing that going, that motherfucker.
There's a black guy who got caught with two crack rocks that's doing fucking 20 years
because of the powder to rock differential in the sentencing.
Oh, it's 100 to 1 in powder to rock.
Holy shit.
Obama tried to roll back some of that when he was in office, and I don't know what they're
doing with it now.
I'm sure Jeff Sessions, I don't give a fuck what your political persuasion is.
If you like Jeff Sessions, I don't know why you're listening to this show.
If you like old, weird, fucking Southern guys who say, ah, weed is the devil, like, you probably shouldn't be listening to this fucking show.
But that was the rule, though.
Racist elf.
Well, that was the rule, was black people have crack.
Let's sentence them 100 to 1 on coke, on weight. That's amazing. It's ridiculous. So that was the sentencing black people have crack. Let's send some hundred to one on Coke on weight.
It's ridiculous.
So that's how that was the sentence and guidelines.
So he's 90 days for you.
If you're a white Canadian hockey player, though, who's smuggling that already grounded up.
No problem.
Grinder.
No problem.
He serves his time in a federal penitentiary in Rochester, Minnesota.
The Reverend Jim Baker was there with him.
The guy who got busted for, you know, Tammy Faye's husband. Piece of shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. penitentiary in rochester minnesota uh the uh reverend jim baker was there with him okay the
guy who got busted for you know tammy faye's husband piece of shit yeah yeah yeah apparently
he said he's there he called him a cool guy yeah of course uh he uh he gets out he's released from
prison he gets out and starts skating again on march 5th 1990 so that's a year to the day after he's told by the league to go pound fucking rocks here.
Two days later, this is the wheels are moving fast.
The U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service grants him a 90-day work permit.
So that's how quick that went through the system.
This enables him to work in the U.S. despite being a convicted felon.
Wow.
Yep.
Then after earning his work permit, he is reinstated by the NHL three days later.
Gone forever.
For life.
He's gone.
Jimmy, Bob's gone now.
It's like he was dead.
Go with God, Bob.
Go with God.
Jesus Christ, man.
So he's only allowed to play.
Jesus Christ, man.
So he's only allowed to play for – in the beginning, he was only allowed to play in games in the United States until the U.S. Immigration Services dropped his orders to have him deported, whether – if he were to enter the U.S. from Canada. So he had a lot of border problems and situations and all this shit.
Back to 1989, OK?
When he was arrested, he finished
his sentence in a Detroit halfway house,
which sounds terrible.
That sounds fucking awful. It does.
Sounds worse than prison. Yeah. He got
clearance from his probation officer
and halfway house director to return
to practice on March 19, 1990.
This is, and made
his debut on March 22, 1990.
So he started skating like with the team two weeks before that.
Now he's ready to play in the NHL.
Unbelievable.
He scored a goal in that game versus Minnesota,
and in each of his next two games he had a goal also.
He says this whole experience made him a better person.
Yeah.
I would say so.
And judging from the later part of his career,
I don't think he got much better, though.
That's the only difference. No, I don't think he got much better, though. That's the only difference.
No, I don't think so.
So he's finally released from a Detroit halfway house on May 2, 1990.
Saga averted.
Problem over.
It's all done.
All set.
All set.
He's good now.
Fine.
He played in four games in 1989-90.
Had three goals, like we said.
How does this happen?
No assists. Did get in three fights, though, so he managed to get that in. That's good. Good three goals, like we said. How does this happen? No assists.
Did get in three fights, though, so he managed to get that in.
That's good.
Good for you, buddy.
Detroit misses the playoffs.
A little distracted, maybe.
That's a big deal.
Probert confesses at this point during this period that he was, quote,
buying cocaine by the ounce, 28 grams for $800 a week.
Wow.
So that's what he's doing.
Another rehab stint follows after this.
So he gets busted for smuggling coke.
He gets kicked out.
They reinstate him into the league, and then he's still doing it.
And they're like, that's fine.
See you when you get back.
No problem.
Holler at us.
Not only that, he went to rehab and, quote, I only lasted a week.
He didn't even finish the fucking program.
Didn't even finish a program.
Around this time, Danny's father, the girlfriend, her father Jim,
apparently offered to take Bob to Bolivia where they could, quote,
do the best of the best cocaine in the world.
Oh, my God.
Jesus fucking Christ.
What is happening?
They're going on vacation to do blow now.
They're going on coke tourism trips.
What the fuck is that?
Holy shit.
So, 90-91 season.
He plays in 55 games, 16 goals, 23 assists, 315 penalty minutes.
God damn.
At least he didn't miss time for a rest this year.
He had a broken left wrist.
He collided with Ed Belfort during a game in December versus Chicago,
and he was hurt for a little while there.
Then he was suspended for one game for receiving his second stick-related
major penalty in game misconduct of the year,
which is a cross check or a slash or something like that.
So he's suspended there.
And he suspended that year also a game during the 1991 playoffs
for sucker-punching a goalie.
For sucker-punching Blues goalie Vincent Reindau
during game two of the series against St. Louis.
So he's still a fucking menace.
And on the ice, he got in 23 fights that year.
Highlights being Jeff Bukabum again.
Two different guys on November 27th.
I love when they fight two different people in the same fucking game.
That's awesome.
Fights Grant Jennings twice on February 13th.
And then February 16th, he's fighting Neil Wilkinson.
So just, again, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight.
Loses.
They end up losing that series to St. Louis in the playoffs.
91-92 season, 63 games played, 20 goals, 24 assists, 276 penalty minutes.
Wow.
That's a lot.
Again, he fights 20 times that year uh fights
Stu Grimson a lot uh who's another enforcer loves Stu Grimson has nothing but good things to say
about him from what I imagine or was he the one he hated I can't remember now he might have hated
him anyway he fought him uh five times that season that's a lot of fights yeah also fights
Marty McSorley, Ty Domi,
Barubi. He goes through,
it's like a king of the ring for the NHL
goon squad that year. The Royal Rumble
every year. Every single year.
They say he goes 10-1-6
in his 20 fights this year.
A couple unfairs in there.
Apparently both of them against Sean
Cronin on October 23rd were both
unfair. So, I will attack
him twice in a game, thank you. Unfairly.
Unfairly. They lose to
the Chicago Blackhawks in the divisional
round of the playoffs. This is the year
292. He gets his first Harley
and gets into riding bikes. His first one.
His first Harley, because now, you know,
he needs something else that's unsafe to do.
He doesn't have a car license.
The last thing this man needs is a motorcycle.
Or the first thing he needs.
Well, if he wants to, he'd want to split his head open like a fucking egg all over the ground.
It could solve a lot of problems.
I can't picture him with a helmet on, put it that way.
92-93, plays in 80 games, 14 goals, 29 assists, 292 penalty minutes.
Holy shit.
21 fights. Fights Rudy Pochek that year, who we talked
about a lot during the Rudy Pochek episode.
If you go back and listen to that one.
Which is why we
did it. We did talk a lot about him.
A lot about him. Back with Stu Grimson,
Marty McSorley, Ty Domi,
Craig Beru. It's just a dance card.
It's just a rotating dance card.
It's like, look, this is a small town.
The dances all have the same people.
We just got to keep trading partners because otherwise, what are we going to do here?
We're running out of people.
They lose to Toronto in the playoffs that year.
July 1st, 1993, he marries Dani.
Okay.
So marries her.
She put in her time.
Absolutely. Probert describes his wedding her. She put in her time. Absolutely.
Probert describes his wedding night as a celebration of cocaine use.
Yeah.
So that's nice. Her dad loves it.
Her dad loves it.
He loves it.
This is going to be a big coke night, I have a feeling here.
They're catered with Bolivian.
How do you, how do you, okay.
You're like a 24-year-old kid.
Right.
How do you broach the subject with your girlfriend's father that you're a huge fucking coke monkey how do you how does that come up to where you want to it's not
like hey you like scotch i like to have a scotch once in a while it's i mean it's i i imagine it's
very similar it's it's probably very similar to uh i tug outdoors you know you just start doing it
and and if they're into it, they'll do it.
But you don't whip a line out in front of your girlfriend's dad.
I think you do.
I think that's the only way.
You'd expect him to then kick you out of his home.
Or you just chop up a line and then you look at him and go, are you cool?
Are you cool?
You cool?
He says cool a lot.
I'll bet he said it.
Yeah.
You cool?
You cool?
You cool?
How cool are you?
I can see that if he's 35.
Yeah.
But at like fucking at 19.
I see it. That's a little crazy.
It'd be a lot cooler if you were.
A lot cooler if you were.
So 93-94, 66 games, 7 goals, 10 assists, 275 penalty minutes.
Holy shit again.
23 fights for him that year.
Over 20 fights a year.
Joey Coker, Ty Domi, Tony Twist, the usual suspects here.
You know how that goes.
12, 3, and 7 in these fights.
They lose to the San Jose Sharks in the playoffs
with their terrible turquoise colors.
It's one of the ugliest jerseys.
The turquoise.
Stop using turquoise.
It's not fucking threatening.
In the 90s, turquoise was a big deal for some.
I don't know what happened.
That and purple.
Purple and turquoise. Yeah, because they were colors that no't know what happened. That and purple. Purple and turquoise.
Yeah, because they were colors that no one else was using.
That's what they did.
Remember when the kings were red, white, and blue?
Well, they sat around and go, everybody's using black.
Everybody uses red and blue.
What the?
Turquoise.
No one uses purple and turquoise.
And the diamondbacks said, I'll use them both.
Dare us.
You've gone too far.
Remember when the fucking Sacramento kings were fucking red, white, and blue, and then
all of a sudden they're black and purple?
Yeah, it's so weird.
And it looks dumb.
It does look stupid.
Stop it.
Yeah.
July 94, 95.
July 94, 95 season here into that.
July.
Oh, my God.
The Grizzlies and Raptors did it, too.
Oh, yeah.
The two expansion teams, both of them turquoise and purple.
The Marlins had turquoise.
The Rockies had purple.
Fucking Jaguars and the fucking Panthers, turquoise and purple. The Marlins had turquoise, the Rockies had purple. Fucking Jaguars and the
fucking Panthers. Turquoise.
If you, any team from the 90s
that was expansion, they had purple or turquoise
or both. And goddamn Pelicans just
did it. Everyone. Jesus. It's not
black, white, or red. That's all it is. Or blue.
That's regular blue. Stop it.
Stop, you idiots. July 15th,
1994,
Probert crashes his motorcycle into a car.
Oh, boy.
That's what I mean.
This is what he needs now is a motorcycle.
He suffers minor injuries.
It's in West Bloomfield Township, Michigan.
The problem is that at the time of the accident, his blood alcohol level was.31.
Holy shit, that's a lot.
Which is way higher.
That's like four times the legal limit basically there.
That's not great.
This is two days after he was pulled over for erratic driving and had been unable to produce a driver's license.
Oh, I don't know because he doesn't fucking have one because he keeps getting it taken away.
Right.
Now, at the time of this accident, Probert had been ruled an unrestricted free agent there.
And the general manager of the Red Wings at this point decides that he's not going to make any more contract offers to Probert.
They're going to give up on him.
He says, quote, this is the general manager, quote, this is the end in my 12 years with the organization.
We've never spent more time on one player and his problems than we have on Probert.
So they said, fuck off.
July 23, 1994.
This is eight days later.
He signs a free agent deal with the Blackhawks.
Oh, shit.
You'd think maybe they'd give him a one-year deal, a little make-improve-himself that he can keep it together.
Four years, $6.6 million.
Holy shit.
Which in hockey in the 90s, it's a fuckload of money. That's a lot of money. Four years, $6.6 million. He shit. Which in hockey in the 90s, it's a fuckload of money.
That's a lot of money.
Four years, $6.6 million.
He's fine.
I'm sure he's good.
I mean, yeah, this is just the same recurring behavior he's had since he was, I don't know, 16.
But we think it's going away now, even though eight days ago.
$6 million ought to cure him.
That'll usually give, when people have a lot of problems, especially with drugs, alcohol, excess in general, ego,
what you do is you give them a shitload of money, and then it just stops it right away.
They feel humble then.
That ought to plug the bleed.
Wow.
So that is the 25th of July.
July 27th, 94.
Maybe they should have waited for this shit to play out, the Blackhawks.
Formal DUI charges against him are followed, and the blood tests reveal that he also had cocaine in his system.
Oh, my God.
Maybe wait for the blood test to come back, Chicago.
But in the 90s, did they know there was doing a blood test?
Do you know what I mean?
I don't know.
They may not have even known that was happening.
They were probably, too, if there's a rumor that another team's going to sign him, they're like, fuck it, let's take the chance now.
Let's get him before once he hits the market clean.
If he gets out of this, then he's going to be, you know, people are going to want him here.
Now, the charge, he was facing up to three months in jail.
The lawyers, his lawyers, disputed the police's procedures and evidence collection.
Police had another take on the story, though.
They said that Probert had threatened officers and workers at the hospital as they tried to draw his blood.
A police report said that Probert threatened to kill the arresting officers.
I don't believe him.
Yeah, not terrific.
So August 8, 1994, he has a hearing with Commissioner Gary Bettman,
who he hates and has nothing but bad things to say about.
All hockey fans hate him.
Well, Bettman's a piece of shit anyway.
Everyone hates him.
This is to determine the extent of his punishment.
Right around this time, he has a son.
Brogan is born.
What?
He has a kid.
Named?
Brogan.
Yeah.
What is that?
I have no idea.
What the fuck kind of name is that?
I'm going to chalk it up to Canadian English people.
All right.
So September 2nd, 94, NHL announces that Probert is suspended indefinitely and can't be reinstated until he's completed a drug rehab program.
Again.
Because we know how well those work on him.
He's ordered to enter the ASAP Family Treatment Center in California.
Minimum of 28 days, they're saying.
But he ended up spending six months at the center.
Whoa. Six months before he applies for reinstatement into the league, which at the time, though,
they were dealing with a lockout then, so it didn't matter anyway.
28 days stretched to six months.
Six months.
That's how many problems he had.
He's finally reinstated into the league on April 28th, 1995.
So he's been such a fucking mess.
I mean, Christ almighty, they're saying, like, he gets out.
I hope he wasn't drunk in the flight back to Chicago now.
I mean, he's got it now, too, with the labor lockout.
He's got to sit around and fucking wait for this shit.
Yeah.
What does he do during the day?
What does a guy like?
Because you picture Probert.
He's just like this hell raiser.
Wandering around the yard looking for drug addicted women to fuck.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
She looks dirty.
I think I could put it in her quick.
I don't think she'll charge me nothing or anything.
So, like, I mean, like at night you picture him.
It's easy to picture him at night, like out just raising hell, drinking and fucking throwing glasses against the wall.
In a gown.
Punching cops and shit.
Like you picture him wilding it.
But during the day, what does he do?
I picture him just, like, sitting in the park, like, bubbles in the wire.
Never mind.
Fuck.
Oh, damn it.
Like, bubbles when he's sitting there recovering from his heroin addiction.
He's starting to notice the sounds and the smells and the sights and the colors of the
park.
And he's like, I never noticed this shit when I was high.
He doesn't say it, but he says it with his eyes because he's a really good fucking actor anyway watch the
fucking wire back to this shit so uh he's sitting around it's really weird and he's uh you know he's
just in the park one of these days and i hope he doesn't have a bag with like a booze in it that
sort of thing but he's just sitting around he's drinking his underwear hopefully not hopefully
not he had his clothes on i I believe, at least this day.
And he hears some dogs barking.
Oh, boy.
And he likes dogs.
So he turns around and it's Bobby Colorado, animal trainer from Fredericksburg, Texas.
And he says.
How is it you come to arrive here?
Listen, you fucking moron.
I'm not going to talk to you for a minute. Don't you get up and threaten me, you big son of a bitch. You don't know who the fuck you come to arrive here? Listen, you fucking moron. I'm not going to talk to you for a minute.
Don't you get up and threaten me, you big son of a bitch.
You don't know who the fuck you're dealing with here.
Yeah, that's right.
Now, don't worry about the dogs.
I got other things besides the dogs.
You don't know where I'm from.
I know I'm from Fredericksburg, Texas, but that's a whole other thing.
We're not going to get into it right now.
Let's just say you don't want to touch Bobby Colorado.
I'm just going to say that right now.
Heel, Bruno, heel.
Things could happen.
Let's just say that.
It's going to happen.
But I wonder, what the fuck is wrong with you?
You're putting cocaine in your fucking balls?
What are you?
What's wrong with you?
Cocaine in your fucking balls?
First of all, even if they didn't strip search you, you know what they got at the border, guy?
You know what they got to find drugs?
Dogs, you fucking moron.
Look at him right here.
He'd sniff his balls. Hey, moron. Look at him right here.
Sniff his balls.
Hey, come on.
Sniff his fucking balls.
All right, your balls are clean right now, so I'm going to let you go on this one. But I got to go.
The dogs are pulling me.
They got his shit all over the place.
But get your fucking shit together.
Get out of here.
Poof.
And a poof of marinara sauce and dog shit.
He's gone.
And Probert is very confused, and he looks at his booze bottle like a homeless person in a sitcom who just saw Bewitched Lady disappear.
I've got to stop drinking.
Puts it down.
Holy shit.
So 95-96 season.
He plays in 78 games, 19 goals, 21 assists.
Wowza.
237 penalty minutes, so he's cooking there, too.
That's a lot, man.
I can't believe how much he fights.
So much.
26 fights this year.
A lot of Ty Domi.
Fights Ty Domi like four times.
Joey Coker a bunch of times.
All your usual suspects.
Tony Twist.
All of his dance partners.
He misses them, I feel like.
And they get together.
Well, Twist dances the Twist best.
Well, I feel like while they're fighting, because they kind of go around in a circle
punching, I feel like guys like this that know each other well or like they suck the guy and
then they're like so how's the kids poof good how's the wife pow how's that new lake house
pow it's all right not bad taxes are rough boom all right well my kids in private school that
really sucks poof that sucks yeah blah blah blah and then they punch each other i feel like that's
how it works that's how they just catch up on old times that That's it. That's how they do it. There, he's 13-5-5 over the course of the year on fighting.
They lose to Colorado in the playoffs.
That's not wonderful.
96-97 season, plays in all 82 games.
So for the first time, has nine goals, 14 assists, 326 penalty minutes.
Jesus.
Christ almighty.
That year, he fights Tony Twist, Ty Domi, Joey Coker, all the usual suspects, and he fights Patrick Cote.
All right.
Another one of our friends who had a crazy fucking episode.
He's had such a crazy episode.
He got shot in prison.
Right.
Listen to that episode.
It's ridiculous.
Ridiculous.
That's absolutely asinine.
Oh, I just remembered what he did, too.
Yeah, he's a fucking idiot.
Listen to the episode.
It's crazy.
That's ridiculous.
What a moron.
So stupid.
So they lose to Colorado in the playoffs.
They lose to Colorado in the playoffs that year there.
1997 in July, they have a daughter named Tierney, the couple here.
97-98 season, he plays in 14 games, two goals, one assist, 48 penalty minutes.
That's because he misses a large part of this season due to injuries.
He tears cartilage and sprains his MCL in his right knee in October,
and he had arthroscopic surgery, comes back,
and tears his right rotator cuff.
Oh, no.
Tears it in a fight with Sandy McCarthy.
So there's fights to that.
He still keeps playing for another week, and then he re-aggravates it in another fight
a week later.
Got it.
And he has major surgery on it December 3rd, 1997, and he can't come back to action until
April 4th, 1998.
Yeah, 1998.
So that year, though, he still manages to fight Ty Domi twice
and Patrick Cote once and a few other guys.
And he gets his shots in, we'll put it that way.
The team doesn't make the playoffs, Chicago, the Blackhawks.
This is the first time, this is 1998,
the first time they don't make the playoffs since the 1967-68
season.
It's the longest run
of a professional sports franchise
making the playoffs.
And then they had a long stretch without, right?
Yeah, they don't make the playoffs for
the next five years, and then now
they've won the fucking Stanley Cup all the time.
I feel like I don't pay much attention to
hockey, but whenever I do, people in
Chicago are bragging
and wearing shirts that say
they're the champions, so I don't know. We've been to
Chicago twice. I've seen a lot of champion
Blackhawks shit everywhere.
So, 1998-99
season, 78
games, 7 goals, 14
assists, 206 penalty minutes.
It was ridiculous,
by the way, Chicago's team.
That's a lot.
There's no other sport or team that sounds so goddamn inappropriate.
You cannot have a team damn near called the Black Cocks.
You can't do that.
Oh, yeah.
It's ridiculous.
It's so dumb.
They have the Redskins.
It's not near as fucking-
The Black Cocks.
Yeah, it's so close.
It sounds a little bit like that.
It's too much.
It's very close to that. My grandmother would confuse it and she'd say it's so close. It sounds a little bit like that. It's too much. It's very close to that.
My grandmother would confuse it and say it's shiny like the skin of a seal.
So that year he has 22 fights, which is a lot, including three against Patrick Cote.
So they get into it quite a bit.
He's 6, 7, and 7 in his fights that year.
A lot of draws.
He's falling off.
He's falling off, man.
The young guys are coming up.
He's a little fat and happy now.
He's like Mike Tyson after he got
a tiger. I just don't have
the same drive that I used to.
When he had a tiger and 700 pigeons,
it just didn't matter anymore.
It doesn't matter.
99-2000 season, 69 games
played, 4 goals, 11 assists,
114 penalty minutes.
March 11, 2000, he becomes the sixth NHL player in history to record 3,000 career penalty minutes.
Wow.
He achieves that feat at a game versus Florida.
Sixth in history.
Sixth in history.
In history.
Since the game started.
To have that many.
He fights Rudy Pochek that year
contributes to some of his brain damage
that will contribute to his later problems
I've seen those fights too
they were brutal
May 2nd 2000
his wife has twins
Declan and Jack
he is really bad at naming babies
he really is
they got Jack
that's normal
that's fine
Declan, Tierney, and Brogan
what the fuck?
They got four kids.
Are those Irish names?
I feel like they're very Irish.
They're very dumb names is what they are.
Just a little weird.
A little off.
But they're Canadian.
What are you fucking off with these people?
2000-2001.
79 games, 7 goals, 12 assists, 103 penalty minutes.
He fights Patrick Cote.
He fights Stu Grimson.
He fights a lot less, though.
Only 10 fights that year in 79 games.
I feel like maybe he wasn't on the ice as much.
Had to be because that's just—
He has four kids at home.
He doesn't fucking—
That's true.
I'm tired.
I can't fight.
I fight with the kids too much.
I don't have it in me.
I got twins.
But 2001-2002, 61 games.
He has one goal, three assists, 176 penalty penalty minutes and manages to squeeze 19 fights in that
boy not too shabby he fights joe uh jody shelly a lot he fights jody shelly three times on january
10th on one night three times a draw a loss and a win so good for you and then he fights him two
days later the same guy january 12th on the ice for that one? Yeah, that should be. That's a nice hat trick.
Not too fucking bad.
So he fights Jody Shelley four times in three days.
That's amazing.
That's a lot of fighting for one guy.
Not too shabby here.
Now, November 16, 2002, Chicago places him on waivers,
and he is not claimed by any other NHL team for a minute here.
So he chooses to announce his retirement since nobody wants him.
I guess if you don't want me, I don't want you, damn it.
I'm retiring.
So he announces his retirement.
He actually doesn't come back and play like some weird minor league shit like a lot of these guys do.
He announces his retirement after 935 games played, 163 goals, 221 assists, and 3,300 penalty minutes.
That's so much.
Wow. That's a lot.
3,300?
Even?
Even, which is pretty cool.
He is number four all time in penalty minutes.
Wow.
All fucking time.
He spent 55 hours in the penalty box.
Yeah.
55 hours. That's a lot of hours in the penalty box. Yeah. 55 hours.
That's a lot of hours in the penalty box.
Just chilling.
That's so many hours, honestly.
Where do you spend that many hours?
He had fight-wise.
Yeah.
Now, we fight.
Boxers who have like 55 fights are like, oh, man.
I mean, I know they pound on each other over the course of 12 rounds, but it's with gloves on and that.
MMA fighters were like, ooh, they fight too much.
This guy had 368 fights, none of which had anything between bone and face.
Right.
Bare-fisted, fucking 368 bare-fisted brawls on ice.
How many teeth do you think he knocked out?
Yeah, fuck.
He probably had one left.
Nose is broken.
Oh, yeah.
Smeared shit.
His eyes?
His eyes are shattered.
But, I mean, guys just socking each other in the fucking face here.
So not too fucking shabby.
Career totals here, 160, 50, and 70.
Not bad.
We're calling the fights.
So, yeah, one more than he lost.
That's 18 unfair fights.
Pummel people.
So the next day, he's announced as a Chicago radio analyst.
The Blackhawks are hiring him to do color on the radio, basically.
That is November 16th of 2002.
February 4th, 2003, leaves his radio job to go to rehab.
He's got to leave the radio to go to rehab.
I can't show up.
I can't sit and talk. I can't show up. I can't sit and talk.
I can't put a fucking sweatshirt on and talk about that guy's stick handling for three hours at night.
I'm that fucked up.
I'm that much of a disaster.
Unbelievable.
Wow.
Nobody's ever done that.
Dick Ebersole never walked away to go to rehab.
No, they're like, muscle through it.
Just talk.
What are you doing?
Marv Albert only did it because he beat up a hooker or something, didn't he?
Yeah, some shit like that.
He bit somebody in the ass.
Some shit like, right, it was ass biting going on.
Well, yeah, he forced some anal.
I think that's what it was.
I just remember a thing with teeth marks being matched to his mouth, a woman's ass with teeth marks.
There was biting and he was forcing anal on people.
A lot of talk about his rug.
Right.
I remember some people were like, Marv Albert wears a rug?
It's like, are you kidding me? Yeah, that was the first time that it was like.
Marv Albert wears a rug.
It says, if you look at him from above, it says welcome on the top of his fucking head.
Are you kidding me?
He's got to wear a fucking rug.
Yeah, that's a rug.
Jesus Christ.
Unbelievable.
Assholes.
Home sweet home across his head.
Yeah, it's like, no.
Get out of that shit.
It says, please wipe your paws.
Yeah.
People are like, he's got a different one every day.
It's like his yarmulke.
You can switch it out a little bit, except, you know, it's his hair.
People didn't know.
It's his fucking hair helmet thing that he wears.
But I think the question that a lot of people wanted to know was, did he take it off to bite her in the ass?
I would think not.
You would assume not, right?
Is it glued on?
If you're going to try to go at a woman in that way, you want want to make everything as as as attractive and as and
as just in that direction as possible what you do not want to do is take your hair off
and then come at him with the four scraggly hairs you have left on your head sticking up in the air
with your underwear on and a bottle of lube in one hand going and you like it in the butt right
i think it's over at that point.
I think it's over.
And she says no and you gnaw on her arm.
Come on.
What the fuck?
Underwear and socks for sure.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
He definitely wears socks.
Big, long boxer shorts down to the knees.
Baggy, long striped boxer shorts.
Black socks and those things that hold up your black socks
that go around your knees to stir up things.
He comes at you like that with his hair off.
The butt, right?
And he better answer the door like that.
Because if he looks like Marv Albert and then goes, I got to get changed, goes in the bathroom
and comes out like that troll, holy shit, I'd call the police too. Yeah, that's what I mean. He's got to get changed, goes in the bathroom and comes out like that troll.
Comes out.
Holy shit.
I'd call the police, too. Yeah, that's what I mean.
He's got to go out like that.
So February 4th.
Negotiation tactics.
Holy shit.
That's awesome.
So February 4th, 2003, like I said, he left his radio job, goes to rehab.
June 4th, 2004, Delray Beach police officers spot Probert.
He is parked in his white BMW SUV the wrong way on a downtown side street and begins hanging
out of his window to yell at several men at one in the morning.
Oh, boy.
Bad things happening there.
Four officers intervene.
Well, they watched it for a minute, the cops.
Let's see what happens here.
Then when Probert got out of his car and tried to start a fight with the four men,
the cops said, okay, let's get four of us and go walk over there and quell the situation.
So they go over there.
Probert then fought with the officers.
I'm fighting someone.
I'm fighting four guys tonight, one way or the other.
You won't let him fight you?
It's you four then.
Fuck it.
Bring it on.
Let's do this.
Fresh legs.
Let's do it.
He fought with them.
He refused to take their orders and drop to the ground.
He refused to do anything.
Two of the officers are struggling to handcuff him. He's a big, crazy, drunk, wild guy.
And finally, after a couple minutes of this
officer thomas tolbert says fuck this and shoots him with a taser yes fuck this guy yeah tases him
uh probert falls backwards but then after a minute he redoubles his efforts uh persisted and keeps
going after them they try to handcuff him he's not having it uh so they have to tase him quote
several more times oh my god
so lots of times how many times do you think it took i don't know but several enough to where in
the report they didn't even list an amount just a shitload a shitload uh they finally get him
handcuffed after god knows how many tasings they handcuff and they take him into custody
uh police spokesman says quote he was so combative in our jail that we didn't take a booking photo of him because we didn't want to struggle with him again with him again out of handcuffs.
They didn't even get a mugshot of him because that's how crazy he is.
Too crazy for mugshots.
Wow.
Intense.
Fuck, man.
That's nuts.
He's charged with battery on a law enforcement officer resisting arrest with violence and disorderly conduct.
He's held without bail for a while at the Palm Beach County Jail of no shit.
In Florida.
In Florida.
Yeah, he lists his home address as Chicago and his business address as Delray Beach.
A hotel employee said Friday that he was no longer working out of there.
So apparently that's where he listed his office, which I don't know what the fuck his business was in Delray Beach.
No clue.
So July 1st, 2005.
That was June 4th.
That was June 2004.
July 1st, 2005 in a really weird incident that ends up getting dropped later on due to film of it coming out
and that he didn't do what the cops said he did.
He's arrested for assault on a police officer, basically.
He starts some shit, but then the cops say that he did a couple things
that he didn't do on camera.
And so due to that, they dropped the charges.
He still tried to attack police officers,
but they did some shit that they weren't supposed to do
and shit like that.
So they fucked, yeah, that was a total dick move,
and they tried to lie and say that he did things he didn't do.
Got it.
What he did was enough.
That's enough.
Don't try to add extra shit on there.
He's got enough fucking problems, this guy.
What is this, training day?
Total bullshit there.
Total fucking bullshit.
So, I mean, Jesus Christ.
I mean, I kind of feel bad for him about that.
That's the one thing that he hasn't done where it was like, I mean, he still did some shit.
He had a bum deal here, though.
But he got a bum deal on that.
But they ended up dropping it in the end, and that was all fine.
But, I mean, fuck, man.
His wife had to pick him up from prison.
You know that.
Had to pick him up from jail.
With the four kids in the backseat.
And go, you did what?
Okay, you beat up a cop again.
Another cop?
This time, I swear I didn't do it.
Your dad was a cop.
This is the third time you've been arrested for beating up cops kind of a pattern i don't fucking believe you all the cops
are fucking scared of you the border patrol you fucked over the red wings you stole money from
the black hawks you've done a lot of bad shit i feel bad for all these people bob but not nearly
not nearly as bad way as i feel no way for Bob Probert, a computer software person in the greater New York City area.
Sorry, Robert Probert.
Sorry, Robert Probert.
They go by Bob Probert, these people on LinkedIn.
Bob Probert, report analyst, XLVBA programmer at Lord & Taylor in the greater New York City area.
He's a report analyst, assistant treasurer at Chase Bank.
He was for a while here.
Bob Probert, a pilot at British Airways, lives in London.
Poor bastard.
A lot of training, a lot of people's lives in his hand.
Hopefully he's not shit-faced with a half ounce of Coke down his pants.
Beating the shit out of cops as he gets on the plane.
Right?
Get out of here, TSA officer scatter.
Bob Probert, kitchen staff at mcdonald's
in the toronto canada area is that not our guy that's not our guy
and finally bob probert metallurgical fusionary technician holy shit at rc speed in british
columbia canada that is impressive poor fucking fucking bastard, Bob Probert. Go by Robert, please.
Change your name.
And there was countless Bob Proberts that could have gone on for days.
Oh, my God.
How does that happen?
Could have gone on for fucking days with the Bob Proberts.
Very common name, apparently.
August 22, 2005, Bob is arrested.
Are you shocked, Jimmy?
No, not at all.
You're not shocked?
He's arrested at a bar for violating conditions of his bail.
he's arrested at a bar for violating conditions of his bail uh he had been out on bail uh for the last thing after resisting arrest and assaulting uh uh an ontario officer on the july 1st thing
uh so police say he was arrested without incident this time he's arrested at the johnny shots
billiards bar cafe christ s-h-o-t course. Johnny Shotz, which sounds like a classy joint.
Yeah, he's charged with violating a condition to not be in a bar, not be in an establishment
that serves liquor.
He's not allowed to go anywhere where there were liquors served.
But he's arrested for that.
He's arrested for that.
So that means there was clearly a disturbance that happened.
Because you don't walk into a bar and they...
You Bob Probert?
There's a sign on the door that's like, listen, Bobbert Probert, it's not happening.
Listen, Bobbert Probert's going in all these damn bars.
They have the Bobbert Probert squad who just goes around bar to bar looking for him.
He's here.
Is he in here?
So he's also charged with violating a condition to abstain from consuming alcohol.
He's released after paying a $200 Canadian dollar fine. All right. So like eight bucks. Yeah. No, just kidding. Sorry, Canada. It's released after paying a 200 Canadian dollar fine.
All right.
So like eight bucks.
Yeah.
No, just kidding.
Sorry, Canada.
It's not that bad.
I mean, a ball of yarn.
You know.
So June 2006.
Oh, my God.
Probert is asleep on the sidewalk.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
When he's picked up by the police and brought into the station on suspicion of public intoxication
during a routine search, what do they find?
Half a gram of cocaine in his pocket.
No way.
At least it's not in his underwear, but it's in his pocket.
He's charged with possession.
But according to his agent and his lawyer here,
there was no fingerprint evidence of Probert's on the cocaine.
It's not mine.
It said he never touched the packet in question.
His story, this is awesome.
This is amazing.
Two individuals who had been drinking with Probert that night,
he says they stuffed the cocaine into his pocket after he'd passed out
and planned to come back for it later.
Like they geocached it in his fucking pants?
Yeah, like we'll leave it in Bob's pants and we'll come back.
He's not going anywhere.
No, Bob never gets drunk and wanders off and gets arrested or anything like that.
That'll never happen.
So let's just leave a sleeping man in a public place because that's where the cocaine will be safe.
We'll be right back.
Wow.
So, fucking idiot. Wow. So. What a fucking idiot.
What an excuse.
Even if that's true, even if that's true, at the very least, he was out getting so shit
faced that he was asleep on a sidewalk.
Right.
That's way too shit faced for you, sir.
Too much.
And you're hanging out with people that are doing cocaine.
Who are doing cocaine.
Right. Which is your problem. If you're a coke with people that are doing cocaine. Who are doing cocaine.
Which is your problem.
If you're a coke guy who thinks it's magic, I'm going to go ahead and say you're not going to turn it down probably. You planned on doing coke tonight.
Especially if you're drinking a bunch.
You just passed out before you did it.
That's all.
You know why you passed out?
You didn't do enough coke.
That's why.
Because you wouldn't have been as drunk.
There's still coke left over.
That's the problem.
You're asleep.
So charges later dropped there.
What?
It worked.
I don't know if it was the fact that he was asleep.
How the fuck does that work?
The fact that he was asleep in a park.
He's basically the world's receptacle.
Anybody could stuff anything into his pocket without him knowing.
Apparently, I have no idea.
If you're asleep in a park, you turn into a trash bin basically and nothing in your pockets is your responsibility because people could just stuff anything in there what the fuck that is a ridiculous
ridiculous rule that's the stupidest thing ever i don't know if that's the rule but i assume
apparently it's the rule because it worked you if you pass out. Apparently it's the rule, because it worked.
You could have came in his mouth and laughed and been like, he's Jez.
It's fine.
Well, yeah, he's not responsible for the contents of his mouth at that point.
I think the other person would probably be responsible for something.
I don't think you're allowed to do that.
I don't think you're right.
That's possible.
In New York, apparently you're allowed to do that.
You can just do that.
Train conductors are allowed.
Yeah.
So 2008, as if things hadn't gotten bad enough for this fucking guy, he has a cameo as a
hockey player in the Mike Myers film, The Love Guru.
What?
Which is like the worst movie of all time.
It's by far the worst Mike Myers movie.
So that's bad.
2009, he's a participant in the Canadian reality show Battle of the Blades.
What is that?
I assume that's some sort of hockey thing.
Washed up hockey, yeah.
I have no idea what the fuck that is.
Now, 2010.
Yeah.
Let's catch up with Bobbert Probert.
Okay.
Okay.
They're talking about he purchased a waterfront property in Lakeshore, Ontario.
How does he?
A town near Windsor.
He still has money left.
They were planning to build their dream home there.
They wanted to be a close family.
His mother, his brother, his father-in-law.
Jesus, they all live in Windsor.
Keep him away.
They have a big house.
It's beautiful.
A big pool.
He's got a giant shop thing.
It's 1,700 square
feet of his garage.
He has old Chevy Chevelles,
Monte Carlos, a 68 Dodge Charger.
He's killing it. Bunch of Harleys.
He's got a Porsche.
All this cool stuff. No license.
No license at all.
Car parts, all this shit.
Just doing a taking cars
apart, putting them back together.
He's got a big pool, a full-size basketball court in his house.
He's just living the life.
At this point, though, there's an article talking about, it says, quote, still after
facing off against some serious demons in his life, Probert was in full control.
So 2010, this article, he was in full control. So 2010, this article, he was in full control.
One of his friends says, quote, the last four years of Probert's life have been clean living.
Drugs are out of his life.
So is drinking.
A family friend says there's still beers in the Probert's fridge, but they're from their 2010 New Year's Eve party.
He still hasn't drank them.
Probert instead reaches for Coca-Cola.
He's just a
wholesome guy. This one.
Right?
He's fine. I mean, that's the last
beautiful house, family,
Coca-Cola, nothing else.
That's totally fine.
July 5th, 2010,
he's dead. He fucking dies.
Of? Heart attack. Massive, massive, he's dead. He fucking dies. Of?
Heart attack.
Massive, massive, massive heart attack.
Also 80% of his artery blocked and cocaine and Coca-Cola and shit eating and bad living and general terrible lifestyle.
Fucking dead.
He was on a boat near Lake St. Clair near Windsor, Ontario, which is the other side, obviously, of Michigan there.
He collapsed.
Efforts to revive him failed.
And he's dead on the fucking boat.
Jesus Christ.
Probert's father-in-law performed CPR on him, said this was totally unexpected.
Like heart attacks are ever expected?
Right.
We were looking at him, expecting it to pop any time now.
Bob lost the fight of his life this afternoon.
You bet he did.
You punning asshole.
Yes.
Wow.
Now.
No, the fight of his life was against cocaine.
Yeah.
He didn't.
He lost that too.
He lost all his fights this week or this day.
Apparently in the book they talk about as an emergency defibrillator was being applied to her.
Dainey's said that her mind turned to when they last had sex.
What?
Yeah.
Did they defibrillate his dick or something?
What is she talking about?
She said, quote, I tried to remember, or she tried to, it's quoting her.
She tried to remember the last time she and Bob had made love.
What fucking difference does that
make? What are you doing, lady? He's fucking
dead. So
this is, we have quotes from
As he's bouncing from those electric
paddles. Yeah, yeah. She's going, you know. We didn't
fuck enough.
Should have fucked more. She's got more regrets
on his deathbed. Jesus Christ.
Jesus. Red Wings silver-haired
middle-aged white man owner here said, quote,
Bob was a part of our very first NHL draft class that also included Steve, Joey Coker, Peter Klima, and Stu Grimson.
Bob was always there for his teammates and was one of the toughest men to ever play in the NHL.
He was also one of the kindest, most colorful, and beloved players Detroit has ever known.
So he was living clean living.
Everything was great.
Living on the boat with his near a lake with his family going on the boat doing his thing.
Did the silver hair middle aged white guy remember the last time that Bob Probert fucked
him?
I don't think he does.
No.
Everything is fine.
I mean, just out of nowhere.
Sad story.
But what was he really doing?
What was he really up to the last few years?
How much Bolivian was on that boat?
Yeah.
Well, he'd been prescribed to take three Oxycontin a day for his pains from playing.
But he took at least eight.
At least eight.
Two in the morning, two after lunch, two at dinner, and two at bedtime.
He would dip the pills in Coca-Cola to dissolve the time-release coating.
Then chop what was left up into a line that way it
would hit him quicker he would snort he's fucking snorting oxys he's snorting oxys
he's and he's even he even figured out a way around the time release yeah where he just
fucking he gets the coating off that yank that shit right off and snort it does that yep uh
he said it would hit him quicker and his back wouldn't hurt and his hip flexor wouldn't bother him as much and he could walk without feeling that.
He's snorting heroin, James.
Yep.
He'd fill a month's prescription, then hand his pills over to his wife because if left up to him, they'd disappear too quickly.
She said when she traveled, she'd hid them all over the house.
He would call her each morning and she'd reveal where she hid in that day's stash.
Wow.
So, yeah. That day's
stash, she's going to go snort up a bunch of
fucking oxys. What a day.
What a fucking day. She said on Monday
they might be in the cigar box in the office.
Tuesdays might be in a baggie tape behind
a painting in the family room. It was a good system.
What has she forgot? That's not a good system.
No. She's got to write down notes.
How about a guy who can control
himself or whatever?
Finally, he said he wanted to control his own drug and alcohol use.
And the wife felt this desire to straighten out.
It brought on because the kids were teenagers.
And so he wanted to feel accountable.
And he said he had years of rehab and all that sort of thing.
He was smoking two packs of cigarettes a day there.
He'd just hang out in his garage, chain smoking, drinking, doing that sort of thing.
Snorting oxys.
Yeah, that whole thing.
He's living a dream, though.
That's awesome.
I mean, he's living some sort of weird Peter Pan fantasy, like violent Peter Pan fantasy.
Now, October 2010, the book finally comes out.
He had a book that was 85 percent completed when he died.
Yeah.
So it died before it was done.
So the wife helped the lady finish it that was writing it.
It's called Tough Guy, My Life on the Edge.
And I've read it, obviously.
That's why I know he writes like a four-year-old.
Right.
The wife says about the book when she's doing press for it because she's trying to promote it now.
She's got to sell this.
She's got she needs.
Yeah, fuck.
He's gone.
We need cash here.
She said, quote, he didn't hold back.
He put it all out there.
Now, they said, Jesus Christ, man.
She said, quote, with kids nowadays, everybody's so computer savvy.
Other kids could go on the computer, Google his name and come up with something and say something to the kids at school.
He wanted the kids to know we were almost always honest with the kids.
Things happened.
He just wanted to be able to tell his side of what happened.
I just wanted to tell my kids how much Coke I did is what they just said, which is insane.
I wanted to make the excuses for the Coke that I did.
Yeah.
I don't want them just going willy-nilly Google searching Robert Probert.
I had fun doing Coke because I thought it was magic.
I don't want them thinking that.
I don't want them finding the quote, Robert Probert says coke is magic.
Although that was in the book.
But I want it coming out of my mouth.
Yeah, that's what he's going to tell his kids.
If they're going to find out cocaine's magic, I want to tell them.
I don't want ESPN telling them.
He describes Commissioner Gary Bettman as, quote, an asshole, a frigging asshole who, quote, ruined the game of hockey.
And, quote, is supposed to speak for the good of the league.
But in my opinion, he's strictly behind the owners.
So he hates him.
He says he adds how he always fooled the league mandated drug test, providing inspectors with clean urine samples.
He just warmed up in the microwave.
He'd just get other people to piss and warm it up in
the microwave and now it's human piss and then he'd go and cook his kids some easy mac in the
same microwave did i use this bottle so i got a special piss microwave jewish people have meat
and dairy things are separated i have piss and the kids and easy mac microwaves now danny danny
says that she only decided to go ahead with the project after some soul searching.
Actually, also bank account searching and realizing that she needed the fucking money because she has two fucking four kids.
So she says that even the sections about their marriage and her husband's infidelities and all that sort of thing, she said, quote, I cringed at a few things.
And I would ask Christy, who's the author there,
well, how did he say it?
Sure enough, it was on the tape.
Bottom line was I didn't want to change anything he said.
I think I just basically helped out with the timeline a little bit.
But Bob was completely honest.
She said there was no surprises in the book.
She said I lived it, believe me.
She said the oldest – by the way, the daughter is Brogan.
I thought that was a son for some reason. The first one was named Brogan. Bro said the oldest. By the way, the daughter is Brogan. I thought that was a son for some reason.
The first one was named Brogan.
Yeah.
She, I guess the 16-year-old daughter at that time read the book.
And the wife said, Danny said, quote, I let her ask for the book.
I didn't want to push it on her.
She was interested in it and she knew dad was working on that.
I think a few things in there.
She was like, wow, I didn't know that happened this way.
Things like from her childhood, that sort of shit.
She also says, quote, this is the wife, quote, what I'm hoping people take from it is just seeing that he was human.
He made a lot of mistakes and that he was just trying to get it right.
Getting on the right track, getting back up and doing well.
He had his struggles, but he just kept working at it.
We know he's human.
You know how we know?
Because he's fucking dead.
Yeah, he's dead.
And dogs don't wear underwear to hide coke in.
So it's another thing.
April 11, 2017.
He's been cremated.
He was cremated.
April 11, 2017.
Danny sprinkles some of his ashes in the penalty box where the Detroit Red Wings played there.
That's creepy as fuck.
Which is super weird.
The daughter, Brogan, said that she can't think of a better place for her father's ashes
considering he spent countless hours in there.
Yeah, 55.
Or 55 as we counted.
What she should have done is lined up like a fat rail of them on the penalty box ridge
and then just fucking snorted it all.
Snort his ashes?
That's for you, Dad.
That's for you.
That's where I thought you were going.
Bob Probert?
He's crazy.
He's on coke.
He's drunk.
He's funny.
He's wild.
And he's dead.
Can't get enough of Bob Probert?
Buy his book.
Tough guy.
My Life on the Edge.
It's like $10 everywhere.
I bought it for $10.
I don't know.
What a story.
You can get Red Wing.
Bob Probert signed Little Caesars hockey card.
Awesome.
I think that they're a Detroit company, so they would sponsor that sort of thing.
$39.95 plus $6 shipping.
There aren't many of those, I'm sure.
No.
Also, a 90 upper deck card autographed is $143.64.
He's dead, I guess.
That's a lot.
15% off there.
And there's a bunch of cards like that.
T-shirts, every kind of T-shirt you can imagine.
All sorts of like, you know, kind of like nostalgic kind of 90s throwback ones where he's got like a big head and shit and stuff like that.
You name it, Bob Probert.
I love the Probies that we've got.
They're awesome.
There's a lot of cool Probert memorabilia and stuff out there.
If you like this crazy bastard,
I suggest you go out there and get some of that memorabilia
because it's good stuff.
And once you're done doing that, if you like the show,
go ahead and get over to iTunes and give us five stars.
You bet.
Tell us you're following instructions, following directions.
It really doesn't matter.
It's not for our egos, like we said.
If you want to be an even bigger superstar,
like our long list of producers that we're going to talk about,
our favorite people,
you can do that by going to patreon.com slash crimeinsports
or going to PayPal using our email address, crimeinsports at gmail.com.
You want to get a hold of the show at Crime and Sports on Twitter and Facebook.
Also, you can go to ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com where there's links to all this stuff, donations, merchandise, T-shirts, sayings.
You name it, it's there.
Yeah.
All sorts of stuff.
Do that and come back and keep seeing us.
And let's get to our list of the favorite damn people that we have on this earth, Jimmy, because it's
a long one. It is. And we love them so much.
Jimmy, hit us with that list. This week was
incredible. Thank you guys so much. The executive
producers are Susan Degoya,
Aaron Cox, Thomas Spade,
Chrissy Ann Costaldi, The Color Chick.
I don't know who that is. I might have to Google that.
Jason Daniels, Travis
McCollum, Brianna Becky.
I think it is. It might be Beck.
Beck or with a B-E-A-C-K.
She is fucking amazing.
She is amazing.
Thank you so much.
Ridiculous Brianna.
Thank you.
We want to know how to pronounce your name correctly because you're awesome.
Thank you.
It's ridiculous that I'm struggling on that, but I'm going to nail Nilou Rastanjani.
Yeah.
How about that?
We met him.
We know him.
Her.
Her.
I was thinking of, I'm sorry.
It's all right.
She's the bodybuilder in San Francisco. She's cool as shit. I remember her. She's totally awesome. I was thinking of Portland'm sorry it's alright she's the bodybuilder in San Francisco
she's cool as shit
I remember her
she's totally awesome
I was thinking of Portland
oh yeah
I forget his name
I know his name too
the guy moving to
the shithole
that we covered
yes
that's a cool dude
really really cool guy
I love that guy
amazing
happy anniversary
to Chrissy and
Travis Saunders
Chrissy
Chrissy
God damn it
Chrissy Saunders and Travis Saunders in Utah.
They came to the Phoenix Live show.
Yeah.
Thank you guys both.
Happy anniversary.
Thank you so much.
Shelly Trollian.
I think it is T-R-O-L-I-A-N.
Trollian.
That's a difficult one.
Sounds right.
Trollian.
Trollian.
I think I got it.
I think it's Trollian.
I think so.
And then happy Father's Day to Jeff Terry.
I know it's late.
We missed last week, but happy Father's Day, man.
I hope you had a great day.
Way to leave it in there.
Happy Father's Day.
Emily Meany Gilbert, Brie Ryan, Jason Fuller, Craig McGeechan, Tabitha Byer, Raul Lima,
Chelsea Gerleman, Tyler Adkins, Kapow Designs, Kat Power, Abby Hinson, Under the Sea Fabrics,
John Codling, Sean Hartley, Ashley View or Vo, Nicolette Kisloff. She's awesome. Hey, Kat.
She's awesome.
She always donates and we don't know how to say her name.
It's terrible.
It's French.
I'm sure of it.
That's a lot of fucking vowels.
Pro-bear.
Right, right.
Kaylee Davis.
Patrick Fett or Fetty.
Angelia Wells.
Jake Labier came through again.
Thanks, Jake.
Mary Faust. Amy Rowlerson, Angela McGovern, Michael Kennedy.
That's right, Mike Kennedy. Mike, yeah, yeah.
Okay, thanks, man.
Every time I want to –
Every time, huh?
I've got to get you a new name, man.
Jillian Hardy, Heather Norton, Barbara Johnson, Emmy Dumont, Jesse Hartman.
That guy and Ted Cyrus and Jesse.
Yes, thank you, guys.
You guys are fantastic.
Thank you.
Oh, my God.
Annalise Del Hall.
Laura Fauson, or Fausone.
Not going to try much harder.
Not going to mess it up.
Right.
Crystal Cook.
Corey, with no last name.
Lexi Skelton.
Sean Hartley.
Gariscus, I think.
Cassandra Schro.
Chris Caron.
Sandra, with no last name. Kat, with no last name, Kat with no last name,
Nicholas Mathias, or Mathias, Mathias, yes, no.
Mathias.
You're probably right.
Maybe.
I don't fucking know.
I'm an idiot.
Yeah.
That's all there is.
I mean, neither of us can read names.
Tim Holzem, Faison Khan, or yeah, Faison Khan.
That's true.
That's a cool name.
Chloe Huchula.
Tabitha Byer.
I think I said that once.
Jordan Merchant.
Vicky Yano Shaw.
Yes.
Yes.
You said like it was confirmed by that person in the room.
I'm positive.
Yes.
Aaron Terrell.
Nathan Nolte.
That guy's awesome.
He's a cop.
Thank you, Nathan.
Appreciate you.
Thank you, Nathan.
Lisa McLaughlin.
Pickle Bean.
That's weird. I knew two guys in high school. One named Pickle, one named Bean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a cop. Thank you, Nathan. Appreciate you. Thank you, Nathan. Lisa McLaughlin, Pickle Bean. That's weird. I knew two guys in high school, one named
Pickle, one named Bean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's weird.
Brianna Shatner. Maybe somebody
picked that up. Probably. Maybe. I don't know.
We called him Pickle because he stood up
and walked and he was really stoned and
somebody goes, if a pickle could stand
up and walk, it would walk like you. So
they just called him Pickle forever. Why a pickle
did they pick that up? They were stoned, too.
That's why.
That's an odd thing to pick.
Were you eating pickles?
I would have said dildo.
Was there pickles around?
No, there were no pickles anywhere near.
This doesn't make sense.
Troy Graham, Brianna Shabalin.
I think they said that.
Mara Spensier.
Mara Spensieri.
That's it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thomas with no last name.
Brinchindo.
No.
Brinchito.
39, I think.
No. Maybe. Martini. No. Maybe. Poss No. Brinchito, 39, I think. No.
Maybe.
Martini?
No.
Maybe.
Possibly.
Martini's and Macabre Podcast.
Thank you guys very much.
I appreciate you.
Yeah, thank you.
Corey Brax, Troy Huseby, Sarah Carter, Stephanie Wheeler, Luke Young, Vanessa Costner, Hannah
Taylor, DBA.
No name.
Just DBA.
Doing business as a donor.
Right.
Thank you.
Lisa Harden, Callie Johnson. Yes. Yes. Just DBA. Doing business as a donor. Right. Thank you.
Lisa Harden.
Callie.
Callie Johnson.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
Sure.
Megan Perry.
Megan Perry.
Bryant Tool.
Kat Oyala.
Oh, cool.
She's terrific.
Thanks, Kat.
Kate Myers.
Stitches and Steel.
I don't know what that is.
Look it up.
I think you should look it up and buy some shit from them.
That's what I think.
If you need to stitch your steel, fucking call them.
Call them up.
Denise Clap. Stay away from the clap. Yeah. Avoid I think. If you need to stitch or steal, fucking call him. Call him up. Denise Clap.
Stay away from the clap.
Yeah.
Avoid the clap.
Jimmy Dugan.
Avoid the clap.
That's good advice.
That's good advice.
I love that.
Atlanta Fernard.
I love that so much.
Francisco Bento.
Tony Dodson.
Dodson.
Tony Dodson.
Amanda Petrovito.
Yes.
Amanda Petrovito. I. Amanda Patrovito.
I love that you celebrate when you think you get yes.
Fucking yes.
It's not even yes.
That's what it is.
It's yes.
Got it out.
Lindsay Morse donating some of that Morse code fortune.
Thank you.
Kerry Centineau.
Corey Luthan.
Corey Luthan, I think.
No?
I don't know.
Fuck it.
I'm dumb. Luthan.
Jason Scott.
Teraf Karji.
What was that last one?
Tauralf Karji?
Tauralf.
Tauralf Karji.
All right.
I think so.
Thank you, Tauralf.
Lila Blake.
Steve Chanel over there in Philly.
Hey, Steve.
Thanks, Steve.
Matthew Jarrett, Austin Fowler, Louisa Williams, Andy Reynolds, Janae Content.
Or Content?
Content, right?
Content?
I don't know.
I don't know.
You have the names in front of you.
You're right.
Allie Cannon, Remote Sessions, Jessica, Nora Vickery, Narelle Page, Angela Shaw, Cordell
McNabb.
I hope that, God damn it, I want it to be.
That's Cordell Stewart and Donovan McNabb's love child.
I want it to be so bad.
Related to one of them.
Yeah.
Lucas Biggs, Jonathan Couch?
No.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
Yes.
No, it's Jay Nathan.
Jay Nathan Couch?
Or is it Jonathan?
Oh, Jay Nathan Couch.
Ooh.
Either way.
Fuck.
Did I skip an O?
Ooh, what a turn on.
Brianna Pink Pimpina, Ariya Griffin, Devin, fuck, Rinikoff?
Rinikoff. Reg Rinikov Regnikov
Regnikov
Rinikov
yes
and then
Casey
Casey Catalan
thank you guys
thank you
so much
thank you guys
so much
truly
truly guys
you make
I wish you guys knew
the behind the scenes
honestly
you guys make this a thing and you make this possible
and especially this show because this show
does not really reap us any rewards
besides you guys like it
and you guys donate money to us
and you like the show and we don't want to
not do it because you guys would be upset
and we love it
and the other thing is we like the
fucking show and we love doing the fucking show
but thank you guys so much for making this worth it and being so fucking incredible to us.
What if somebody wanted to tell you how incredible you are, Jimmy?
How could they do it?
At Wisman Sucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks on Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat.
And I appreciate it, guys.
Thank you very, very much for being around.
What about you, you son of a bitch?
I am at Jimmy P is funny.
Or you can copy and paste my last name from the show description.
Just do that and plug it in, and it will be wonderful there.
And keep coming back.
Lots of stuff to announce later on this month.
We've got a lot of tour dates for Small Town Murder we're going to announce.
None for Crime and Sports.
Sorry.
It's just numbers aren't there.
Tickets don't sell there.
Tickets don't sell as well.
So we have all that going on, and we're excited.
And that doesn't matter, though.
Big fucking announcement, though.
Big announcement there.
We have lots of big announcements.
We're moving into a new studio.
Next few weeks are going to be crazy.
We're going to keep putting out episodes every week.
No more skipping.
That was just a business thing we had to do.
We had to skip that.
But we apologize for being off last week.
But that won't happen again for a while.
Live from the Crime and Sports studios, we will see you next week.
Bye!
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