Crime in Sports - #124 - Drugs, Speed & Stupid - The Sophisticatedness of Gary "Hot Shoe" Balough
Episode Date: July 16, 2018This week, we chase down the story of a man who had a desire to drive fast, live hard, and break many federal laws. He was an outcast in his sport for not being enough of a redneck, while his... actions project nothing but redneck to the rest of the world. He made plenty of mistakes... and ultimately made them again... and again. This is a fun one, full of crazy characters!!Put the pedal to he floor, find out where the good drugs are, and smuggle them in using your yacht that you bought with drug money with Gary "Hot Shoe" Balough!!Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanDonate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.comGet all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.comGo to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!!Contact us on...twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports.
Yay!
Oh, yay indeed, Jimmy, yay indeed.
My name is James Petrigal. I'm here with my co-host.
I am Jimmy Wissman.
Thank you folks so, so much for joining us again on another just death-defying, insane, crazy edition of Crime and Sports.
Another wild, kind of nutty one here that a lot of you guys might not have heard of.
wild kind of nutty one here yeah that a lot of you guys might not have heard of uh very specific people have heard of this guy and he's kind of a cult hero in what he does but he's not a mainstream
star evil kenevil no no no no that's he's a mainstream guy evil kenevil was on national tv
constantly oh yeah he was a people don't know everyone knows now do they no no but at the time
when he was out everybody don't think there's a person in america that didn't know the fuck
he was like the hulk hogan of the 70s you
know what i mean so fucking what do you call those evil kenevil the hulk hogan of the 70s
the little dolls the action action figure and all that stuff but never mind all that we'll get to
that this crazy crazy episode i have to thank everyone for their itunes reviews this week
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But never mind all that shit, Jimmy, because I got to tell you, it's a weird one today.
Another one where we're like, it's not a sport we're used to.
We've only done a few of these.
It's race car driving.
Oh, great. Now, anybody who's listening now, they're like, I don these it's race car driving oh great now anybody who's
listening now they're like i don't know any race car drivers shut up don't have shut don't you
dare skip this goddamn shit because if you've not listened to any of our racing episodes they're the
fucking best you're lost because i'm sorry these are hillbillies who have this weird inside drive for lack of a better term to go at hundreds of
miles an hour for some reason these are these are adrenaline junkie hillbillies yeah they make for
great episodes always they're always interesting people they're never the ending is always never
just boring yeah yeah it was like how the fuck did we get here? Yes, we are only our only kind of person who kind of snapped back at us, really, and tried
to, you know, come at us was a race car driver and his wife, give us the business and deny
everything and all that was them.
Apparently, Sonny thinks we're assholes, but that's fine.
I'm fine with that.
I thought that was hilarious.
I don't mind that at all.
We are assholes.
Speaking of assholes, Sonny, yours spoke up in your porno.
Hey, listen to me. We're assholes, but we know we're assholes speaking of assholes sunny uh yours spoke up in your porno hey listen to me
we're assholes but we know we're assholes you own your shit call us assholes own what you've done
and you have owned it in the past that's why it's like don't don't be mad at us for calling it out
and laughing at a few things and then i think we were pretty fair to sunny as a matter of fact
we talked about how talented she was she's very intelligent we talked about all that shit we said
you were beautiful at one point in time.
That's fine.
Yeah, that's good.
I mean, we said enough good things about her, and it just outweighed by, sorry, your actions,
which are not my fault or Jimmy's fault.
So we apologize to nobody.
That we don't apologize.
Exactly.
Eat dicks.
Anyway, which you will.
She does.
She does.
She gobbles them for money.
That's her business, though.
That's not my business.
It is. Gobble up all she wants. It is her business. But them for money. That's her business, though. That's not my business. It is.
Gobble up all she wants.
It is her business.
But it's also.
It's her business.
And we're also free to make fun of that business.
That is her money business.
Absolutely money making business.
So let's get down to business here.
Speaking of business.
Yeah.
Let's get down to our business, which is Criminal Athletes, which is a guy here.
Now, the pronunciation on this, I'm just going to go with Baloo.
It's Gary Baloo.
Gary Lee Baloo.
B-A-L-O-U-G-H.
But I would say it's below, you would imagine, right?
Or Baluff.
Baluff.
But his nickname is Hot Shoe.
So I am going to say that it has to be Baloo.
It just has to be.
Gary Hot Shoe Baloo.
So I love it when they have a nickname that helps you.
Like once in a while, they'll have a fighter like that.
They did it.
We'll have a fighter like that once in a while.
It's like, how the fuck do you say that name?
And then his nickname will rhyme with one of the pronunciations.
You're like, that's how you say it.
This is nickname.
Goddamn rhymes with it.
So there you go.
Somebody did that so they could remember his shit and they said it out loud.
Well, they look at I think it's one of those things where like and I know fighters, at
least a manager will look at it and go, no one of those things where like, and I know fighters at least,
a manager will look at it and go,
no one's going to be able to know
how the fuck to say that last name.
We need to,
you know,
here,
put a nickname
and it sounds like that.
There we go.
There we go.
Beautiful.
Garnished.
There's the parsley.
Slab it down on the plate.
So Gary Ballew here.
Gary is born September 16th, 1947.
Okay.
Now he's a Florida guy.
Yeah.
The heart is not a lot on his childhood.
He has a book that just came out.
Just came out.
Really?
It's only on his website.
Oh.
So any book that's only on a person's website, I will not pay money for.
Right.
Because you-
Because then you're contributing to their delinquency.
Well, it's like, you couldn't even get that on Amazon.
Right.
It's pretty easy to get a fucking self-published book on Amazon.
It's not difficult.
So, I know several people that have done that.
It's not that hard.
Get your goddamn book on Amazon.
While you're at it, get a goddamn Kindle version.
Because if you think I'm going to pay you, and we'll get to the price of it, whatever,
later on, I'm going to pay you that amount of money, then fucking wait two weeks for
my hard cover to
come fuck yourself no is it is the hard cover like that black and white cover you know like
is it written in pencil that's my question no no no it's got an actual number two you know i haven't
seen a picture of the actual book it's just like a graphic of the cover with like a picture of him
and we'll get to the book and all i wonder if it actually has a cover if it's that black and white speckled cover you know and also that's possible in journey yeah
a journey no a diary or a journal yeah like a composition book yeah that's what i mean three
for a dollar when school supply season that's what it is yeah what i used to write all my jokes in
all the time before i switched to spirals, like a fucking civilized human being.
Yeah.
I didn't even do that.
I have legal pads.
That's my main thing is legal pads.
The big fucking yellow legal pad.
I have the big legal pad.
You know me.
With awful jokes on them.
How many notebooks do I have?
All those teeny tiny ones.
Well, that's my third layer.
I start out with the books, the composition books.
I go to legal pads.
I start out with the legal pads.
I go to the spiral notebooks so they're bigger and more organized.
That way I can get everything.
And then I go to the smaller books to take to comedy, to clubs, so I know where my set
lists are.
That fits in your fucking back pocket.
Exactly.
Or 17 of them in your messenger bag.
That's more like it.
Yeah.
Yes.
You think I'm prepared here.
It's worse there.
So anyway, Gary, or yes, Gary, I was going to call him a different name than that.
Baloo.
And then Gary came out, and I went, his name's not Gary.
Then I said, his name is Gary.
I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
So Gary here grows up in Miami.
Now, this is a big thing that keeps coming up throughout his entire racing career, is that he's not a hillbilly.
He says that out loud a lot.
No, he doesn't say that.
Everyone else says that.
And it's like just for him existing.
People don't like him because how dare he not be a hillbilly.
And it's literally like he just got to air about him.
And it's like, no, he's just existing.
And he's not a shit kicker like you.
He speaks of indoor plumbing and it makes you fucking offended and enunciate
and enunciates things is fucking ridiculous so that that that happens to him a lot though like
throughout his career uh people are not happy that he is not a hillbilly that he's from miami
he's kind of a city kid and uh that's not okay with racing that's their thing it's their thing
they don't want anybody uh intruding on that. Right. Coming in with their clothes and stuff.
With their shoes. Right.
And your shirts on under your overalls.
Right. It's not enough that you're wearing overalls.
You have a shirt on and that's not okay.
NASCAR, if you don't
know and if you haven't listened to our other episodes
and I don't know how much this has actually come up.
Actually, I think it did in like a
Ben Kramer episode from, you know,
100 episodes ago. By the way, this is our 200th show that's our shows show number
200 but on NASCAR started out as like these were like moonshining people who
decided to race their fast moonshining cars had fast cars in the first place to
run from the cops exactly moonshine we should brace each other i'll bet
my i'll bet my bandit car is faster than yours and then there you go and he's like all right
well i'll take that challenge and next thing you know major corporations are sponsoring this
garbage but that wasn't until the last 30 40 years before that these were like people these were
self-funded uh low budget operations often funded by criminal enterprises that's like a
racing was it's almost like horse racing was all like you know a lot of criminals own these horses
it's a money laundering way to do that this is kind of what happened here with these guys is they
needed money so every episode we've done on anything like ben kramer randy lanier that
episode anybody who drove a race car in the 70s also drove powerboats,
and they all smuggled cocaine and weed and everything else.
And it was, like, super easy to, back then, watch the Cocaine Cowboys documentary
and think pre-1981-ish when the feds went batshit and, you know.
Stopped it.
Well, just made it more difficult and stopped shit.
No, nothing stopped stopped made it a little
more and made it like their foot down lightly made it so now we gotta go oh we can't we gotta
go around that oh that's it but before it was just like yeah just drive up to the coast and
just hand the guy all your shit and then he'll put it in a truck and drive away and that's fine
like nobody gave a fuck nobody looked nobody watched now they have to submerge the boats
now they have to do different things and it's now it's a different deal but back then uh he would hang around the hialeah speedway okay i guess uh this is like in the
early 60s we're talking 61 62 when he's like 14 years old uh his mother apparently knew that he
liked he wanted to go to the racetrack all the time and his dad didn't want him to go all the
time so his mother would like leave the window open for him so he could sneak out and shit like that that's nice yeah that's
nice his mother was contributed to this contributed to his uh insanity here uh he would go and watch
a bunch of people and uh his dad is a policeman uh also so uh his dad's a strict guy and he has
problems with his father as as he goes into his teens as we'll find out here. He was rebellious? Weird.
He's rebellious. His dad's not taking it.
It's the early, it's the 60s.
I mean, he's being rebellious in the 60s.
And his dad sees what goes on when a kid's rebellious.
His dad has got a crew cut like nobody's business and not a sideburn to be seen.
No.
His sideburns are shaved up to his eye, up to like above his eyebrows, I feel like.
They're that aggressively. And they're waxed. I will not have sideburns are shaved up to his eye, up to like above his eyebrows, I feel like. They're that aggressively.
And they're waxed.
I will not have sideburns in my home.
I will not have any hair on my face.
No sideburns in my home, damn it.
None.
Nothing.
We all except for that mustache.
I got a push broom that nobody believed.
I keep it nice.
I keep it thick and nice and trimmed.
The wife waxes.
The wife.
It tickles her.
It tickles her a little bit.
And she goes, oh.
It's right there on the top of it.
You know how that goes. They say that there's something buried in there but whatever it is he uh uh gary i guess
his his brother his brother took him to the old medley speedway was for his first race and he said
he was he was hooked right away super into it he said quote i think i was destined destined to race
as soon as i was around and i wanted to be a part of it.
My boyhood dream was to run the Grand National Circuit and still is.
This was he said later on in the 70s here.
This is roundy round track.
This is like NASCAR stuff.
This is like, yeah, but this is, yeah, these are kind of like these late model, you know, Speedway things.
I'm not an expert on this shit at all.
But my point is that it's not open wheel like.
No, no, no.
It's not Le Mans or whatever. it's not like a european street 500 it's it's
fucking it's cars it's big heavy stock cars right big big stock cars so uh yeah he uh i guess he uh
he uh uh helped out he started helping out racers just like hey what can i do you know what i mean
can i hold that for you can i fucking get you a wrench i don't know pass you something hammer can i yeah can i just hang
out here and i'll help in any way i can uh his and uh at 14 years old when he didn't really know
how to drive yet uh he was put out in a car the racer let him drive his car here at 14 14 it was
a fifth that's how most of these guys start it was a 51
chevy coupe this wasn't like a mini like a this is a 50 a giant boat of a car that weighs a lot
of pounds tons and coupe just means two doors yeah it's all that means it's still a big fucking
goddamn boat and it's steel oh it's a big steel boat yeah absolutely this will this will take out
a building with this fucking car uh so
his first night out he won his first race get out of here he wins his first race can you imagine
yeah this swearing that went on in those pits oh my god he's fucking and the guys the veterans that
lost that went to go shake the hand of the winner oh my god this little cocksucker and he's got a
lolly in his mouth they just fucking flattened they just called him the little cocksucker and he's got a lolly in his mouth they just fucking flattened they just
called him the little cocksucker that was who won little cocksucker who little cocksucker you know
i'm talking about find the boy with the lolly he did it the kid who ain't got no pubes that one
that's the kid start pants and folks yeah and when you find the bald dick that's the winner
congratulate him when you find him high five or shake's the winner. Congratulate him when you find him. High five or shake his hand, your choice.
And then pull his pants back up because he is a child and you will go to jail for that.
So that's going to be a problem.
For a long time.
Actually, not probably in 1960.
No, back then, no.
1961, you could pants a child, no problem.
People would be like, yeah, that's fine.
What?
You better fuck him.
Yeah, are you going to fuck him or what now?
But if you fuck him, you better marry him, Jimmy.
That's the thing.
That's the difference, though. If you fucked a kid back then, they expected you to fuck him or what now? But if you fuck him, you better marry him, Jimmy. That's the thing. That's the difference, though.
If you fucked a kid back then, they expected you to marry him.
You make an honest child out of that child.
Make an honest child.
Fucking ridiculous.
And they thought that was being moral.
I know.
They're going to get married.
That's not good enough.
Shouldn't be fucking them at all, married or not.
Married doesn't help it. keep your cock out of my kid because a priest told you you could fuck my kid now you can fuck my kid
we're taking their advice on kid fucking no and now it's sanctioned by the law oh man
now the mayor and governor approve it all of them like yep this is gonna work to sign off on that people bought
your presents for it you got a mixer you got a new spatula for fucking that kid that's a super
nice kitchen aid you got on your counter yep just had to fuck a kid for it it's pretty good
fuck your harvest gold refrigerator nice well no it's the same price as a 14 year old's pussy
not bad put that on your registration and fuck away right
that's how you do it silly christ what's what store has a underage child bride
registry likely sears it's got a kitchen aid well they wouldn't have any register
no not anymore you get a kitchen aid you get some dolls and some
it's not it's not bad than underage is that what it is i think that's the
store that's a nice store that's a good store i like that store there is no rape in the story
whatsoever by the way no one rapes anyone we did we got 15 minutes into this thing and somehow we
put rape in the story of a child driving around a track that's all it was there's no sex involved in this at all we didn't say he just fucked a girl he knocked up a kid
nothing no just we pulled that out of our ass we went there we just got to uh yeah yeah bed bath
and no grass on center and then we're i don't get it so Bed, bath, and no grass on the pitch, and here we go.
I like it.
So, yeah, anyway, he's really, he gets right into this deal.
His first year, he wins 37 races.
Jesus.
As a child.
At 15.
Yeah, as a teenage kid in the novice class that first year.
So, I mean, it's a bunch of other kids.
It's not like they have seasoned drivers here, but still, he's the best of the whatever,
you know, of the non-professional drivers here.
This is at Hialeah, Palmetto, Hawaii, or Hawaii Hollywood.
And there's a bunch of other shit around Miami.
All over Florida.
Apparently, there's a lot of racing down there in South Florida.
Shocking, right?
Surprise, surprise.
Hillbillies like to race.
Flatland hillbillies like to race.
I call them sea-level hillbillies. They're not really hillbillies. They're like sea-level billies. That race flatland hillbillies like to race i call them sea level hillbillies they're
not really hillbillies they're like sea level billies that's what they are they just come from
swamp billies that's what they are glade billies very nice oh christ so by the time he's 16 years
old he's like a known entity that people are like holy shit like wow this is uh this is not fucking
yeah this kid can actually race like he's people are looking to hire him to race their cars when
he's 16 he's not just like getting you know being able to race as a favor to somebody no one's just
going all right we'll let the kid race uh yeah he's winning uh he's doing you know he's winning
like uh with like nice cars too they're not even like shit boxes people are trusting him with like nice late model cars to to race with here uh by 21 years old he had the uh the florida
governor's cup he wins that uh against the uh at the tampas tampa golden gate speedway and uh this
was like the best of all of the florida drivers were there and he says quote everybody was there
it was like the early days of syracuse
which is a the track we'll talk about later on that he has some uh interesting things on uh
so he would show up he was uh he he also too he studied like the mechanics of the cars he wasn't
just like in a drive and didn't care like he could design shit he knew like the mechanics of these
cars like he he had ideas of how this is how we
can make them faster like he he was really into everything that surrounded these cars so it is
he's really really into it it's kind of he's a savant with this type of shit uh he would uh he
he worked with uh a grand national nascar grand national driver uh named tom pistone who was
apparently a good fabricator of you know car welding and
welding and shit like that make it more aerodynamic yeah he he sent this guy pistone ends up sending
him up to pennsylvania uh to to uh to like help a customer out with a car so like he's he's that
good already where they can send him they'd send him to deal with a high level customer about
dealing with a dirt chassis of a car like so i didn't know shit about that when i was a kid i
still don't know uh below about baloo gary said he didn't really know anything about dirt either
he didn't care he said quote i never raced dirt i was an asphalt guy i had no interest in racing
dirt it wasn't my style so but he could still know shit that he didn't even care about so he's a
classy driver yes that's what he thought.
But then he said, quote, watching guys like Clayt Husted.
Wow.
You ever heard of him?
Clayt?
His name is Clayt.
Listen to these names, okay?
Watching guys like Clayt Husted and Blackie Watt get around the old Latrobe track.
Blackie Watt?
And he's a white guy.
I'm sure he's a white guy.
You know he's a white guy.
He's just very dirty all the time. He works in a coal mine, so they called him Blackie. I met a dude named Blackie, and he's a white guy i'm sure it's a white guy you know he's a white guy he's just very dirty all the time he like works in a coal mine so they call them blackie blackie and
he's the most racist person i've ever met i've never met i've never met a man named blackie who
wasn't white that's the weird part yeah ever and that's how it always is yeah in new york i knew
like four kids named that were go went by black that were black but they weren't blackie right
that's that that would be insulting i feel like at that point right
so anyway uh i'm steering clear of this whole conversation it's uh who knows yeah the the
blackie scandal we don't have a listen uh papa john just got in way too much trouble i want out
of this yeah yeah well imagine if blackie watt on the chain he'd fuck the whole difference the
difference is i'm not racist, and Papa John clearly is.
Well, yeah.
Blackie Watt, still up for debate.
We're not sure.
But I'm going to go with probably.
Most guys named Blackie probably got some questionable actions.
A 1960s down south dirt track racer named Blackie?
I'm going to go with racist, maybe.
Possibly.
Possibly.
Or maybe he was very much into Motown.
That's possible.
Either way.
Just all black culture.
He digs it.
He digs it.
But he said, watching guys like Clay Houston and Blackie Watt get around the old Latrobe
track, I realized that just because it's dirt, you didn't have to slide the car around.
You could still drive it.
Clay Houston really impressed me.
I watched how he got around, not buzzing the tires, and no one was as smooth as he was.
I don't know what any of that shit means.
Apparently, you don't have to slide around on dirt like buzzing some silly shit uh so he's keeping the car under
control there you go he's not acting like a jackass out of the dirt he doesn't look he doesn't look
out of control he looks like he's very well in control of that vehicle no yeah okay i get that
so he ends up going up to uh you know pennsylvania new york and new Jersey and races a lot there. He races both asphalt and dirt, so he gets into dirt.
Also, there's, I guess, clay tracks they race on.
Jesus Christ.
This article's amazing.
It says, quote,
Baloo's transition from Macadam, I don't know what the fuck that is,
to clay was further facilitated by Spud Murphy, a man named spud murphy so so far we have
the only people mentioned so far by him are clate eustead uh uh blackie watt and spud murphy what
the fuck is this is like some sort of hillbilly mafia that's what this is this is a hillbilly
mafia that's what's going on they'll steal your taters out the ground hillbilly mob names
this is fucking ridiculous they'll harvest your taters out the ground. Hillbilly mob names. This is fucking ridiculous.
They'll harvest your corn before you get the chance.
Oh, they're going to just harvest it.
They'll just do it in your slate.
You don't even know.
You ain't going to hear them.
You'll think you'd hear them.
You're going to walk out there.
You're going to see the tall stalks and be like, I can't wait to harvest that.
You walk out to them plants.
Not a damn year on it.
Ain't a kernel to be found.
Not one kernel. Not a kernel this side to be found. Not one colonel.
Not a colonel this side of the Mississippi.
Let me tell you something right now.
Every spud will be dug up.
Every one of them.
Spud Murphy.
Blackie Watts driving the getaway car.
This guy, I guess, was another Florida racer, Spud Murphy, who was also doing the northeastern United States dirt tracks, the oval tracks they had up there.
This guy, Spud Murphy, got Baloo with an owner of a race team, a guy who gives racers cars, a guy named Paul Hildebrand and also Richard Ege.
I don't fucking know.
E-G-E.
It's a terrible name.
I'm going to call him Eggy just because I like that.
That sounds funny.
It's probably Ege or Ege.
I'm going to go with Eggy because then his name is Dick Eggy, which is fucking great.
And so Dick Eggy here.
They owned a dirt modified car in New Jersey.
And this is great.
Gary says, quote, Spud told me NASCAR may be the goal, but this is where the money is.
So, yeah, this is.
There's also money in NASCAR.
I don't know if you guys know that.
Yeah.
A lot of it.
Yeah.
A shitload.
Back then, though, and we'll talk about the finances of it.
Back then, not a lot of.
Drivers, right.
You did.
Even the owners.
You had to do it.
It was like you had to do it for the love of it.
You had to be a competitive guy that owned a team that wanted to beat another guy.
You were a rich asshole who was like, I don't like that other rich asshole who owns that team.
I'm going to fuck him up.
I'm going to put a ton of money into it and get nothing out of it.
That's the only way to be is to be like a George Steinbrenner and not really care about your return on it.
You just want to win because you're not going to make money back then on racing unless you have a guy who wins every race.
And then you might make some money but other than
that you're not and they say they usually
always say they give the drivers
take half the winning of it
of whatever it is and then the
team gets the other half for the car
and shit but a lot of these times like
a car from what I'll
see there'll be a car and
they'll win a race and the car costs
more than the race the car to build the car costs more than the race.
The car, to build that car, costs more than the race to win.
Today?
Then.
Okay. So now I have no fucking idea.
Okay.
No.
I don't know.
What do you win in a race?
There's millions of dollars at stake now.
Is that what you win?
For the Indy 500, the open wheel race was over.
A bunch of skull I can chew.
Depends on your sponsor and how much money you get. You get a bunch of Miller High can chew depends on your sponsor how much money you get get a bunch of
middle of high life don't you dare drive for skittles because you ain't getting nothing but
the rainbow bags of raven and then everybody gonna think you're gay and then they ain't gonna hang
out with you down at the oval so good old jeff gordon has tons of dupont paint in his garage
that's all you know he does there's only so many coats of paint you can put on he repaints his house
every two weeks just to
be a dick about just he puts up pictures and you're just like my new color and just like you
some bitch every damn time with that damn paint my wife is bitching at me paint the goddamn house
and i'm like jeff garden you bastard with your garage full of paint he ain't offering nobody
none no he ain't offering nobody i went over his house and said oh boy jeff you got a lot of dupont paint there that's real nice my wife been saying she really want to repaint
the thing he just said yeah you should do that and he kept on going he could have said well
why don't you grab yourself a couple cans he had damn garage full whole damn bay of it full of it
he could have said why don't you grab yourself a couple cans i got eggshell down there i got a lot
of nice colors but what do you do nothing he just walked inside because he's some bitch that's all
i'm gonna say about it he popped the top and top and said, yep, you should do that.
You should do that.
And he walked on inside.
Didn't even offer me a beer.
Nothing.
Nothing.
No paint.
No beer.
Bullshit.
Some bitch.
He's bullshit.
Yeah.
So he's down there.
He said that Spud is telling him about NASCAR.
Like I said, he didn't have a lot of success right away, which I would assume you'd have to get used to driving on dirt tracks and shit like that.
So he got a new car.
A guy helped him build a car, a guy named Whip Mulligan.
Good Christ.
Does anybody have a real first name?
Whip, Spud, Blackie, and Clayton.
What the fuck is happening with these people?
Whip, Spud, Blackie.
Whip.
Blackie what?
Right.
I like Blackie, yeah i like i kind of
like whip now whip mulligan whip mulligan sounds cool too that sounds like a 50s movie star or a
fucking 1980s or 80s jesus 18 fucking slave driver maybe yeah they call him whip but he sounds more i
really feel like he's like a 50s guy like a whip mulligan there's a
50s movie star pinstripe starring whip mulligan and he just comes in hello it's always like some
high-pitched dick as the announcer yeah and then the star tries his best to put in like a
the deepest voice he can possibly do and he comes comes in, he goes, I'm home.
Right.
And a fully dressed woman runs out in her makeup and says,
It's ready, dear.
The movies were sped up, so the voice of the actor also raised a couple of octaves, too.
So they're doing their best to deepen it to sound like a dude.
Well, that also, the problem is in the 30s,
in the 30s you still had a bunch of
the the movie stars were still the talkie stars and most of those people didn't have good voices
that's why i ruined a lot of their careers people are like they sound like that it's like on radio
when you see a person you're like oh that's not how i picture that's the same thing with the
talkies people had a voice in their head that they'd picture out of people and they'd see a
man and he'd go he's going to sound like this and then he'd come on and he'd be like hi how you doing i'm whip mulligan
and they're like that's not that doesn't that's not okay spud murphy your career's over ridiculous
uh so uh uh below blue here uh he wanted this car they're building him a new car he's so excited to
build it it wasn't getting done fast enough so he moved in with Whip Mulligan to finish it.
He moved in and he's like, I'll do it.
He moves into Whip's house to sleep on his couch to make the car go faster.
I got wrenches and shit.
I'll come by.
I'll come by.
That's this guy.
He's very helpful.
Gary Below, the most helpful crime and sports criminal we've had so far.
He's excessively helpful.
He's always up.
If you're having a barbecue, this is the thing.
He'll be like, you want me to go get some more charcoal you're gonna need that i get ice for you
i'll go out and get ice he's that guy who's just willing to run to the store and grab something if
you need it he's like i got my keys in my hand right now i'll go right now no i'll put my bear
down that's fine i only had like six or eight i had like six or eight i'll go right down to the
store there get that ain't gonna be no thing at all tell you what i'll tell you what why don't
you send your kid with me that way i won't fall asleep she can all. Tell you what. I'll tell you what. Why don't you send your kid with me? That way I won't fall asleep.
She can sit in the front seat, keep me distracted.
Here, come on, Sonny.
Let's get in the front seat.
He can bear me while I throw out the empties.
That's what people used to do back then.
I better take my kid so I don't fall asleep.
I'm shit-faced.
He'll keep me awake.
You got to watch out for Laura Bush running stop signs killing that kid.
Every child has to worry about that even now so uh this car he loved this car yeah he said quote the first time i drove it at highstown
the car was going so good that i got over anxious and wrecked it hit the flag stand and the starter
broke his leg oh jesus uh he said quote I came in the pits with my head down,
but Paul Hildebrand was elated.
Don't worry, we can fix the car.
We've never had a chance to beat Stan Plosky like that.
That's what the owner said to him.
Meanwhile, he hit the stand
where the guy that waves the flag
and broke that fucking guy's leg.
Fuck that guy.
Fuck him.
He said, fuck the starter.
We're going to beat Stan Plosky.
That guy's going to walk with a limp forever.
That's fine.
He'll never play.
He'll never play outdoors with his children.
Fine.
That's his fucking problem.
He knew the fucking hazards when he took the job.
You know the risks.
You know the risks.
The important thing is Stan Plosky's going down in Hightown in this fucking dirt track
that no one knows a fucking thing about.
We'll get
stan plosky on the case and he'll be all over that shit uh so yeah he's very excited uh uh
so also uh that sunday his third time uh in he tried this they were driving a a gremlin by the
way an amc gremlin the most piece of shit vehicle ever made yes apparently though if you completely
make it a different car yeah it's better. I don't know.
Weird, right?
If a guy sleeps on
a man named Whip's couch long enough, it
makes gremlins good cars. I don't know
how that happens, but it does.
He wins a
100-lap Syracuse qualifier
at Nazareth. This is to qualify for
the Syracuse race. He wins that
in the gremlin car.
If you don't know what a Gremlin is and you have kids and you
watched Cars, the lemons
in that movie, those are fucking Gremlins.
A pile of shit. It looks like it
should be called a Gremlin.
They had Gremlins inside of them.
I think that's why they called the movie Gremlins
because those were the things destroying
the Gremlin. It's essentially
the Pinto of the AMC.
That's what it was, except it didn't explode quite as much,
which is a positive, actually.
As much.
I'm not going to say at all.
I don't know.
Look at that car.
How much credit am I going to give it to you?
There's not a lot of place you can put a gas tank on that vehicle.
No, it's a hunk of shit.
So this thing, he, personal life, though, isn't so easy.
It seems like he got right into racing and jumped in with both feet.
He kind of had to, though, because his dad kicked him out of the house at 16 because all he wanted to do was do racing shit.
Didn't care about school.
Didn't care about any of that.
So he kicks him out of the house at 16.
So that was an issue.
There's a cop.
He's like, I ain't going to have no son with sideburns down down below where his
ears start i ain't gonna have that you get them up above them eyebrows boy and uh he wouldn't so
he got kicked out of the house it's very sad to whip's house you go it's very very sad he had to
move in with whip and who the fuck is a man named whip who's having teenage boys stay at his house
fixing cars i don't know how is that how old he is right now with with whip he's 16 he's like he's
16 he's like 18 by the time he He's 16? He's like 16.
He's like 18 by the time he gets to Whip.
But he's still a kid.
I mean, Whip doesn't sound like a young guy.
No.
Whip sounds like he's got...
He's been through the wringer.
He's got those fingers that are so stained with grease that they can't be cleaned.
No.
You'd have to just basically take all...
Yeah, take all of his layers of skin off down to the raw flesh.
Of course.
And it's probably still oily.
So much grease.
It's a lot of grease.
So I worked on cars with my uncle and my piece of shit stepfather for a long time, and that grease.
That's terrible.
It's the worst.
Do brakes once and see how long your hands stay dirty.
My dad had that shit, that big tub of the goopy shit you just dip your hand in and move it around.
It gets that shit off pretty decent.
It's the white stuff that smells.
It's the white stuff.
It smells so good.
Really?
Oh, my God.
It smells weird.
It smells like gasoline.
Exactly.
Forever.
It smells so great.
I love that.
Forever.
I love the way gasoline smells.
Oh, it smells awesome.
Your hand will smell like that for a week.
I used to touch things just so I could have to use that because it smelled so good.
It was like, oh, it smells so good.
That's crazy. And you know me. I don't like was like, oh, it smells so good. That's crazy.
And you know me.
I don't like getting, I don't like grease and shit.
That's gross.
And so I would like just touch, oh, I got to use a bunch of that shit.
And I'd get like a scoop, big handful.
And I'd be like, what are you doing, goddammit?
My dad's like a car guy.
Yeah.
So he's always working on something.
I liked it when it had the, when you had the scoop in it, though.
The like big vat that was like a... It looked like a toilet... Fucking...
Yeah.
What is that?
Not toilet paper.
The other paper.
Paper towel?
Paper towel.
Hey, look at us.
Yes, it looked like that roll.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then you just tip your hand in there
and yank out a handful.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My father had the big shop one
that goes on the wall.
You screw it to the fucking wall.
And your dad stole that from somewhere, probably.
Who knows?
Because that's what they always did.
He worked at...
Yeah.
He used to be a mechanic at some point.
But did body work and shit back before I was born was you take that shit home and put it in your garage
because anytime you do the brakes you can clean up real nice you can clean up real nice now you
put it on you know what sometimes i just take it behind your ear i was gonna say i just take it
sometimes and uh you know how women use lotion yeah i put it all i just put it all up and down
my legs i luxuriously spread my leg out start from from the ankle, pull it up. No, you got to rub it in now.
You don't rinse lotion off.
You rub it in
until it's still moist,
but you really smell like gasoline.
Now, don't ride a lot of match now
because that's not going to be good.
No smoking for a few hours.
No smoking.
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So he said that out of this whole era,
he said his dad kicked him out,
but he had all these people helping him,
all these local spud and whip and blackie
and fucking the rest of the crew,
the rest of the our gang people. Tater running around somewhere. Spud, whip and blackie and fucking the rest of the crew the rest of the of the our gang people
tater running around whip tater uh you know fucking jello bean he was there i don't know
why jello jello bean you know him right they got jello bean somebody got real confused they're like
they got um jello beans i had some of those jello beans no You mean jelly bean. No, no. Jello bean. Don't correct me. Don't be correct.
His name is Jello bean from now on.
A big stew.
Right.
Just a big stew.
But Gary says, quote, Guess I had all the superheroes helping me.
They must have seen something in me that I didn't.
So there you go.
At 14, by the way, is when he met.
It's when he meets his future wife, Karen.
They end up getting married when he's 19.
Here in the mid-60s, he gets married.
In 1966, he marries Karen.
So he's 19 years old, and he marries his, I guess, middle school sweetheart, for Christ's sake, barely even high school.
So 1968 is when he wins the Florida Governor's Cup.
That's the 200.
It's the that's he's 21 years old.
I don't think he turned 21 yet, but he's 20 years old.
So still a young kid.
Very promising.
1975.
He ends up going up to New Jersey.
Guy name.
This is fucking.
There's a guy named Dickie Anderson.
We're going to talk about too so Dickie Whip
Blackie Spud
these are adding up fucking fast here
depressing yeah yeah he said
yeah he
this is crazy it's surprising that
a man who's surrounded by such weird
fucking named people is going to
eventually break the law he's going to break
the law oh yeah he's going to break the law he's going to be very
stupid about it, too.
Of course.
He's one of these guys that you, for some reason,
you tend to believe him when he fucks up.
And he's like, I don't know what I was thinking.
And, you know, kind of a wrong place, wrong time, bad decision.
I'm an idiot type of thing.
You think like, oh, you know what?
He fucked up and he learned his lesson and he's going to turn it around.
And then he just doesn't.
But you think he's going to.
And all indications are and everything he says
is all good
and all correct
and he doesn't say shit
that makes you go,
oh Christ,
he just doesn't get it.
Everything he says,
you go,
good, he gets it.
He fucking gets it
and then you go,
well, why'd he do that again?
He doesn't get it at all.
He doesn't even come close
to getting it.
He doesn't understand anything.
He doesn't understand
why he was in prison before.
Obviously,
fucking moron.
Anyway, there was a new uh new team owners uh tony and ronnie uh pharaoh jesus pharaoh
ferry ferreulo uh which is f-e-r-r-a-i-u-o-l-o that's an italian fucking name right there that's
worse than mine that is way too many vowels in a row i'm sorry a-i-o-u-o. That's an Italian fucking name right there. That's worse than mine. That is way too many vowels in a row.
I'm sorry.
A-I-U-O.
You can't have all the vowels in a row.
That doesn't make any sense.
You can't pronounce that.
No.
No one can.
He said, this Tony of the group here, the Tony F, we'll call him.
He said, quote, my brother and I flew to Florida to hire driver Dickie Anderson, but Gary picked us up at the airport.
Whip worked on our cars, and I think he had something to do with that.
Anyway, when Gary found out we were going to hire Dickie, he jammed on the brakes, leaned over, and said, no, you're going to hire me.
So now he's got him hostage in a car that he's jamming on brakes.
And he's about to show them why they've got to hire him.
Otherwise, I'm going to gun it into that brick wall.
One of the two things are going to happen now.
So now he's got this car.
He's got Whip's Ride, and he's driving.
And they end up being a good team all together with these owners.
They win the 1976 Schaefer 100 in Syracuse, which is obviously the most prestigious thing I know as a child.
Jimmy, I don't know about you personally, but for myself, posters on my wall as a child were all of the
Schaefer 100 at Syracuse starting line all of them well the starting line then I had all the I had
winners each one every year like you know in school you have the presidents all up on the wall
I don't know about other countries if you have prime ministers or kings and queens or whatever
but uh just Nelson Mandela just Nelson Mandela they just had you know all the presidents on the
wall I had all the uh Schaefer 100 Syracuse winners up on my wall.
And that was inspirational to me.
And that's why I'm sitting here in this chair today, Jimmy.
So don't you dare fucking say a word about the 1976 Schaefer 100 from Syracuse.
Because I'm going to go ahead and slap you down for that.
It's only 100, by the way.
It's 100.
That's all you need.
It's not so hard to win.
How many fucking laps do you need?
It's 100.
You drive around 100 times, you're done.
It's an even number.
Is it 100 laps or 100 miles?
I think it's 100 laps.
Probably.
Because it's probably a mile.
Mile drive?
But no, because it'll be three quarters.
It's laps.
It's fucking laps.
I'm going to say it's laps.
I don't care if it's fucking miles.
It's probably five mile laps.
Either that or they're five mile.
They're all five mile laps now.
500 miles.
What if they were only like 0.2 mile laps?
Right.
It was just very short.
It's like a 20 mile race.
It's a very short race. It's a very short race.
It's like 15 minutes long.
It's like how long it takes to just go get gas.
If you drink a beer watching that race, by the time you're done with that beer, that
race is over.
What if it's just five guys racing home from work?
What if it's just that?
Clear the road.
That would be great.
I'd watch that.
I'd watch that too.
I'd be like, oh man, that guy had a bad day.
He wouldn't take all fucking day he didn't stop fully for that right before for that light
before he made the right hand turn uh so 1976 he wins the syracuse 200 and this is like the huge
deal in dirt racing apparently this is like they call this the crown jewel of super dirt week
syracuse the syracuse race it's now called the eckerd 200 after the
drugstore chain is the sponsor now but back then just syracuse no sponsor the fucking city the raw
shithole known as syracuse from the from the finger lakes of western new york five feet of
snow is the syracuse dump uh so that's where you buy your preparation age that's it right
and i'm gonna i'm gonna give you a hint you know they have like the i'll give you a hint i'll give Syracuse dump. Now it's where you buy your Preparation H. That's it, right?
I'm going to give you a hint.
I'll give you a guess.
If you win the Masters in golf, you get the green jacket, shit like that.
What do you think you get if you win the Syracuse 200?
Keep in mind the crown jewel of the Super Dirt Week.
It's got to be the rusty hubcap.
You don't.
It's an article of clothing. Oh, an article of clothing? It's something to wear.
We'll just say that.
Is it an ascot?
No, it is close.
Is it a bolo tie?
It is a flower garland.
Why would you get that?
Why would you get a lei?
That's what they give you, a lei, when you win in Syracuse?
Congratulations on being a man now here, pussy.
Congratulations on being nowhere near where people wear these.
Enjoy.
Now, you're about 6,000 miles away from where this is real relevant.
And a whole continent.
By the way, we're in Syracuse, which is terrible.
And these come from a real nice place.
So this is to let you know exactly how bad of a place you're in, which is not.
You know how you didn't see any flowers around here?
Not near anywhere.
Anywhere.
Now, by the way, I don't want to hear shit from Western New York for this.
Go fuck yourself.
I'm from New York, and Western New York is terrible.
I'm sorry.
It's awful.
Don't say it's beautiful.
It's awful.
Feet of snow.
It's terrible.
Overnight, too.
The only reason it exists was because there had to be an eerie canal, number one.
Or a place where the poor people in New York had to live.
The fucking canal.
No, the canal. And's a college towns everywhere without those college kids you
you wouldn't exist get the fuck out of there everything west of of the hudson is west
virginia new york i'm sorry so i don't know who you people think you are so he wins in 76 the
syracuse 200 77 he wins it again wow So now he's the double. Back to back.
Two flower garlands, as they call it back then.
I like how they didn't even use lay.
They put.
Yeah, flower garland.
Flower garland, which it's an article from 76.
So people in 76 probably didn't know what a lay was, probably.
They weren't as, I don't know, even cultured to that much.
1977, he wins the Eastern States 200, which he leads from flag to flag.
So start to finish.
Start to finish.
First place.
Never loses the race.
He's the only driver in that race's history to do that.
Wow.
To lead from bell to bell.
That's pretty impressive no matter what race you run.
It's incredible.
Yeah.
I mean, just to start out ahead.
You don't even start out like, I'll catch up.
Well, that means he had to qualify to get the pole position and then never give it up.
They're on just always being the lead.
That's crazy.
That's that is impressive.
That is very impressive.
So he does that.
I've never done that in any sport I've ever played.
No, never lost.
Never lost.
Think about it in a basketball game.
The first team scores to nothing and then never loses the lead.
That would be weird.
That means that they would have their four.
They scored twice for nothing. And then because the other team could would be weird. That means that they would score twice 4-0
because the other team could get two points.
What does that mean? They don't.
But after that first basket, that's it.
But also, that's probably happened. Before you see
teams go on like an 8-2 run and then they never
give up the lead, they're up by 12 the whole
game, but whatever. Those are fun to watch.
It's a bad analogy, sorry.
Those are exciting games to watch.
Congratulations, Steph Curry, on all your success.
Very exciting, isn't it?
I love watching shooting exhibitions.
I love watching the half-court shot being drawn up.
Because everyone knows, in All-Star Weekend, the most popular event is the three-point shooting contest.
Because we all watch that.
Nobody watches dunks.
Nobody wants to see that.
Nobody wants to see exciting feats of physical ability. I want to see you throw the ball with laser ability i want to see fucking the
other end of the court a less than a less than the tallest man on the floor uh shoot from far away
i've seen that enough in dude perfect stop it's annoying so So anyway, something interesting happens in 1977.
Yeah.
They end up, there's a race here, and basically Gary causes a bit of a riot.
It's hard for me to follow these race things, but he was side-by-side with another racer,
Riedemann.
He's side-by-sideer, Riedemann. He's side by side with this Riedemann.
And I guess Gary worked his way past this guy and behind a guy named Bob Malzahn.
He trails Malzahn for a few laps and couldn't get by him.
Finally, halfway through this event, Gary pulls up along this Malzahn uh and uh he kind of runs hits him wheel to wheel
kind of on purpose yeah and uh and uh it ends up uh they they end up touching and malzahn spins out
uh but uh below ends up taking the lead from there uh and and uh so malzahn freaks out he's
all pissed off yeah he catches up to below and below and to Gary and to both these cars keep going.
Anyway, apparently the crowd and the pit guys and everybody started surging onto the track.
Oh, my God.
From this article, it says a large crowd surged onto the track from the pits, just gesticulating, shouting and threatening Baloo.
What are you going to?
He's got a car.
The onlookers started rushing him.
Ask Tony Stewart about that.
They had pitchforks and shit.
Idiots.
Well, this isn't like a real.
This is like a dirt track somewhere.
This is still, though.
Tony Stewart was racing when he ran that guy over.
This is crazy.
So crazy.
Crazy.
So they end up slowing the cars down and basically made it so these cars kind of blocked off these people.
Because the other racers were like, well, we can't have all these people fucking rushing on the track.
I know that guy's pissed, but anyway.
What they said is they had to do this because if they stopped the race, they were afraid that Gary's personal safety would have been in jeopardy because they thought the crowd was going to basically get out of the car, him out of his car and murder him.
That's what they thought.
So they said, we need to keep him in his car and moving because then they can't kill him.
He can at least gun it at that point.
But if he has to get out, this is going to get ugly. Oh, boy.
Not only is the other race are going to attack him, but then his pit crew and everybody.
That's nuts, though.
Who is that mad at a race? If you saw that, you'd be like, wow, you wouldn't be like, I'm going to attack him but then his pit crew and everybody right that's nuts though how who is that mad at a race if you saw that you'd be like wow you wouldn't be like i'm gonna
kick that guy's ass you'd be surprised it happens every goddamn race there's i mean granted the
fucking hillbillies the crowd rarely runs out onto the field or onto the infield or onto the track
at all but it it's the fucking racers the the drivers fight constantly they're always they're
always fighting yeah yeah which that you would expect i mean there's goddamn road rage when The fucking racers, the drivers fight constantly. They're always chasing each other.
Which is that you would expect.
I mean, there's goddamn road rage when you're driving 40 miles an hour.
No one's even in competition.
But the people in the stands take ownership of that driver. Oh, they do.
It's bananas how much they would take up for these people.
It's like you're that excited about Cheerios or Skull or Tide or whatever the fuck that sponsor is.
Because that's the only reason there's a goddamn car. That's why it's got a giant one a part of your life exactly it must be a huge part you're
really into it so 1978 uh he wins the uh the syracuse 200 again yeah so he's the king of the
dirt at this point uh by the end of his career total uh he is said to have won over a thousand
dirt track races and he's kind of like the dirt track won over a thousand dirt track races.
And he's kind of like the dirt track king, legend of the dirt track,
best dirt track racer kind of going.
1979,
he hits the big time. Well, he doesn't
hit the big time, but he
sidles up to the big time.
He gets on next to it.
He can smell the big time's cologne
wafting toward him.
He has his first NASCAR race.
So now he's getting out of the dirt, getting out of guys named Whip and Skip and Blackie and Spud and all this shit.
Some people like Big Trickle.
I was going to say, guys who have redneck names, but they're real names.
They're not nicknames.
You know, people like that.
He runs the Daytona 500 in 79.
It's his first race. It is won by Richardard petty yeah that year that's a real racer that's a real racer daryl waltrip number two
a.j foight number three donnie allison number four he was in this race yeah uh kale yarbrough
number five the first five guys i've actually heard of and i know shit about racing those
are all very famous people.
Tig Scott, that's where it ends.
I don't know him at all. That's a done deal.
But Cuckoo Martin?
Cuckoo Marlin.
Cuckoo.
C-O-O-C-O-O Marlin.
Cuckoo Dale Earnhardt was number eight in that race.
It's got to be Sterling's dad or something, right?
I guess.
I have no idea.
Bobby Allison, Terry Labonte.
I've heard of these guys.
So I've heard of a lot of these guys.
So these are all kind of Ricky Rudd.
I know I've heard of that.
Jeffrey Bodine, which sounds like a hillbilly.
Definitely sounds like a fucking hillbilly.
What do you think about that?
Yeah, I'm on board.
Jeffrey Bodine?
Yeah.
I'm going to name...
It's the first name off.
Jimmy, have another son so you can name him Jeffrey Bodine.
Jeffrey Bodine...
Wisman.
Wisman.
Wisman.
You've got to do it that way.
You now have to pronounce your name Wisman.
Wasn't that Jethro's last name, Bodine?
I believe it was.
His name's Jeffrey, which is close.
And they did that shit on purpose.
I think they did, probably.
So number five. He comes in 35th, Gary Below, out of 35 out of 41.
In a race that has Richard fucking Petty.
That is the winner.
So these are a lot of famous and these are experienced NASCAR drivers, and he hasn't raced NASCAR.
So to be expected.
Lucky he didn't come in last place.
He races three races in NASCAR in 1979.
He leads for zero laps. He doesn't ever get toward the lead uh he does make they have his earnings here his nascar earnings i never
oh no i never know his dirt track earnings but i always find out his nascar earnings i have all
every nascar race by the irs exactly uh yeah the other ones the dirt track ones i really feel like
that's like some cash and like
a box of groceries like it's the depression there's no reason to write this off as yeah
there's cheese that doesn't need to be refrigerated really and like all sorts of weird
shit they give you fish and shit they call it rations there's your money you box of rations
that's what you win for winning the race it's like gee thanks yeah and a 20 like you know
shell gas card you You know, like,
I haven't seen a shell
and they still have shells.
There's a Unicol down the road.
I think it's good.
Can you get me a Chevron?
There's a lot of Chevrons
everywhere.
Can you get me one of those?
Fuck, man.
Bullshit.
So he makes $6,015.
For three races?
Three races.
In what year?
1979?
That's pretty good, yeah?
That's very little, though,
in terms of what it costs. Yeah. That's not just what he makes That's very little, though, in terms of what it costs.
That's not just what he makes.
The winnings for his team.
Holy shit.
He makes half of that.
Nothing.
And the team loses their ass because they spend hundreds of thousands of dollars,
probably $50,000, $60,000 to put a car out there.
And they're paying him money, too.
I assume they pay him a salary.
Usually they do.
They can't have some homeless guy racing.
Guys, I can't make it today.
I'm homeless.
I have nobody to watch all my stuff.
I can't just bring it all to the racetrack.
They can't be like, ah, fuck, Gary's homeless again.
You can't drag this cart behind the car.
Yeah, got to get him a one-bedroom apartment at least.
Or at least Whip's Couch or something.
Whip's Couch.
So February 1980, Gary is in a crash, a pretty bad crash.
On the track?
On the track at the New Smyrna Speedway.
He breaks.
This is a bad crash.
He broke the third and fourth vertebrae in his neck.
Oh, my God.
So that is fucking rough.
That's horrible.
That is horrible.
And he broke it.
Broke his third and fourth vertebrae in his neck in a crash.
I'm sure that's terrible.
That sounds awful.
Sounds like something that you would be laid up for a while and also maybe be leery of
racing.
Going too fast.
This is like baseball.
If you get hit in the head with a fastball, you're probably going to be a little skittish
when that breaking ball is doesn't. is that going to break or what?
Oh, no, it's going to hit me.
As soon as your catcher goes, give him the heater.
You're like, no heaters.
No heater.
This guy, though, after breaking.
Wouldn't you do that if somebody took a beanball to the head and it was a fastball?
Wouldn't you, as the catcher, just scream that when he comes up?
Let's throw him the heater.
Let's brush him back a little.
Chin music, chin music.
Come on now.
That's what you'd want to do.
You just scream, hey DJ, fire up that chin music.
I'd scream it every time.
You wouldn't.
The guy would be jumping out of the way.
I would.
The worst is the, because it batters, I don't know, I just remember playing baseball and
whatever, you get hit by pitches and it happens.
I mean, nobody wants to get hit in the face, really.
But you don't like, I don't know.
It's a baseball.
It's fine.
But the worst are the ones where the pitcher gets hit with a comebacker in the head.
Those are the scariest because they're like batting.
You have a bat and a helmet and you can duck your head.
And you're prepared for it.
You're prepared.
You're prepared.
Pitchers are not in a position to protect their head at all.
They're in the motion of the follow through of the ball going out.
They're in a pose that would be the best pose possible to hit a guy in the forehead with a baseball.
They're just, here I am, just squared up with you, looking right square.
Boom.
Nail me.
One arm almost completely out.
The other across his chest.
That's it.
That's what you
got right there that's that would scare the shit out of me and make me not want to pitch it every
pitch i'd be like oh jesus i'd be this is terrible you pitch and then you just throw your mitt in
front of your face that's it that's that'd be the way i would pitch it would never come out from in
front of my face i'd be the phantom of the pitchers now, and I'd just always be covering.
Just in case, coach.
Yeah, I'd look like Andy Pettit, but then never stop doing that.
Just keep that in my windup the whole time.
But this crazy bastard, Gary, these guys aren't built like that, though,
these adrenaline junkie type race car driver.
No.
Four months later, he goes back to that track and establishes the track record.
Wow. Four months later, not only is he walking. It's still and establishes the track record wow four months later not only is he it's still broke walking right two vertebrae still broke not only is he doing that but he's in
a car again going back to that same track and going i got you know my problem i didn't drive
fast enough that's why i broke my neck i really you gotta pin it me because we were too close
together let me give it the old hot shoe.
Which hot shoe to me just sounds like a roofer.
That's what I would call a roofer.
What's up there, hot shoe?
Sounds like a tool for roofing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is the old hot shoe.
You got a hot mop and a hot shoe.
We're going to cut into the profits this month on account of I got to buy some new hot shoes.
I got to get new hot shoes.
He says about, let's do an in their own words, because this is a real in their own words type of moment here.
He says, in their own words, quote, I just had to go out and prove to everybody that
you can break your neck and it doesn't make a bit of difference.
You can still come back and get the job done.
Who wants that proven to them?
Who's saying?
That's been a big point of contention forever.
People have been sitting back at NASCAR for 100 years.
I mean, since the moonshining days, they're like, I bet.
I'm just saying, I bet you if you broke your third and fourth vertebrae, you'd be a pussy
and wouldn't get back in the car.
No, I'd do it no more.
You ain't gonna do nothing.
It's gonna make a big difference.
It'll slow you the fuck down.
A bit of difference, goddammit.
Matter of fact, it improved me.
It improved me, made me a better person.
I'm faster.
Better person, so very fast.
I have the track record now. That's right, I was. That's amazing. Mediocre, now I'm faster. Better person, so very fast. I have the track record now.
That's right.
I was mediocre.
That's amazing.
Now I'm the man.
Now I'm the best.
1980, he wins.
Isn't he sure he wasn't bitten by a radioactive spider?
That could have happened, too.
That would have been amazing.
Now, if this episode took a turn in the middle where he's racing, he's doing all this shit,
and then literally I'm like, okay, he does this amazing thing.
And I go, the reason he did that is just after his last race, he was in fact in his basement rummaging through some things to find a tool that he needed.
He was in fact bitten by a radioactive spider, giving him superpowers, and now he's much better off.
That would be an amazing turn.
Thank goodness for that.
That would be an amazing turn.
He's amazing lucky man
that's amazing what happened is that he got a new helmet shipped in from uh brazil happens yeah and
one of those one of those radioactive spiders hung in the hung in the like arachnophobia got
right in the helmet yeah and then he put the helmet on and it took a sample and then he won
every race for the rest of his career it It was incredible. Just the winner. He didn't even drive on the track.
He floated over it.
He flew his car in a glowed green.
So 1980, he wins the Syracuse 200 again.
Yeah.
This is where he kind of cements his legend, though, because the way he does it is the most stylish way you can do some shit.
He shows up in a car that will be forever dubbed as the batmobile
and it is a uh it's in museums and it's a it's in a museum and it's very well known they put it on
tour to go people want to look at it it's fucking amazing this car is it it's a uh it's a lincoln
like like the batmobile was uh but completely completely uh, yeah. Redone and in a way where everyone was like, that's not legal, right?
The fucking car can't be legal.
They were lapping people and they just found loopholes in the rules.
And this was before.
Right now in NASCAR, it's basically all exactly the same because everyone has the same exact car.
You can't do anything different because the rules are so fucking specific of exactly what you can do and what you can't do.
And the body's not even a body.
It's a plastic shell that vaguely resembles a car that's on the road today.
Sort of.
It's got the headlight structure, basically.
And that's just stickers anyway.
That's all it is.
But this, yeah, it doesn't have headlights in there.
But this here, like, it's going to be dark on the track.
Put the high beams in.
They might be dark on the track.
We're racing the not track.
This is not track.
Yeah, yeah.
But it's got lights on the track.
Not in part.
The west side of the track is pretty dim.
I've got to be honest.
It's dark.
Watch out.
Two kids play ball down there.
So if one rolls in the road, you're going to have to swerve out of the way.
I would just slow down about 35 miles an hour when you come around that corner.
I want halogens.
I don't want the technology of the lights of the stadium.
That's amazing.
Back then, there was rules still, but they were a little bit looser.
And if you wanted to be smart about it and really kind of think outside the box, you could go around these rules.
Really change some things.
Yeah.
They're saying that there was supposedly a Lincoln.
They don't know for sure, but that's what they said.
They said it was a Lincoln.
But it humiliated people.
I mean, people were mad at him for this car.
That's how great of a car it was.
Car builder Kenny Weld and him did it.
What a great name for a guy who builds cars.
Kenny Weld.
Yeah, that's beautiful.
So also the officials, the race officials, they tried to disqualify them with this car.
They're like, there's no way this car is legal.
race officials they tried to disqualify them with this car they're like there's no way this car is legal and then at the end after you know inspecting the whole thing going over it they finally said
well they interpreted the rules creatively and built a legal car and it's legal uh so uh they
couldn't use i guess wingtops for downforce it says top wings for downforce in this the sprint
car sprint they could weren't allowed to use sprint car like top wings
for downforce on the top of the yeah i had to write that down exactly because i don't know
shit about this it's that it's that on a sprint car you know that that fin on yeah yeah yeah yeah
that's the yeah okay for downforce that makes sense okay so weld and blue here they put a big
a giant flat roof on the car okay instead of it a wing, it had a flat roof and angled it forward like a wing.
Oh, smart.
So they made the whole roof a wing.
Yeah.
It's the roof of the car.
You can't say shit like that.
And they put these big air tunnels on the sides of the body with inlets that he could
control from inside of the car.
So that's how he knew, like, I need air here.
I need less air there.
Like, while he was driving, he was controlling these air flaps and shit like that.
It's fucking awesome.
That's what I mean.
They got crazy about it.
It's black, too, this car.
It looks mean as fuck.
It's number 112.
It's the number 112 car, which is weird.
Poor players dwell.
Awesome.
Very, very nice.
So people just bitched about this and people complained also people
complained that it cost too much uh they were saying that people were like he's spending too
much and it's not fair like it's not fair that they have a good car my car shit and theirs is
better uh they said uh he admitted that the car cost between 25 and 30 000 to build which i guess
was too much for back then not that much it doesn't but back then you could buy a car for six grand
that's true yeah it's about about 90 000 in today's money they're saying so that's that's
fair uh yeah these cars today are like fuck two or three hundred thousand dollars that's no that's
what i mean they're more they're like race car they're like jets these things that's probably
what the motor's worth but it took them it took them a month and a half of 14 hour days to build the car and that's not including all of
the research and the study and they did i mean they they got scientific engineering and design
and they got scientific about it they weren't fucking around here uh they had uh they had their
tow their sponsors were booths towing and Kansas City's Lakeside Speedway.
Those are their sponsors.
So not exactly Cheerios.
No.
Not quite.
This is his first place win here.
Earned the team $26,557.
Not too shabby.
That's not even a whole car.
Not even a whole car, but they can use the car again
so right now
he is like
this well known
dirt track
cult hero
driving the Batmobile
being the best there is
Grace
let's just say Grace
this is Grace
and he hasn't even gotten
to the peak of his career
but Grace
because the peak of his career
intertwined with crime
it rubs up so closely to the crime, like within a day, that it's like you have to just go, no, you just have to.
It's back here.
It's back there.
1980, December 8th, 1980 is the Snowball Derby.
What the fuck is that?
Oh, baby, the Snowball Derby, Jimmy, in case you didn't know, is a 300-lap super late model stock car automobile race held annually at the Half Mile Five Flag Speedway in Pensacola, Florida.
Wow.
Where there's no snowballs.
Where there's no snow, but it's December 8th they hold it.
So I guess that's why they say that.
So that's a 300 lap.
It's the 300.
It's a 300 lap Half Mile.
So it's a 150-mile race. What we're It's a 300 lap half mile. So it's 150 mile race.
What we're getting at here, they've held it every year since 1968.
And apparently it's a big goddamn deal.
It was the 2009 event was won by Kyle Busch.
Steve Wallace was in it.
Chase Elliott, a bunch of NASCAR guys that I had never heard of were in it.
Chase Elliott, a bunch of NASCAR guys that I had never heard of were in it.
As a result, they moved
basically
they wanted to, they moved an event
to make sure that the drivers got
to participate in the Snowball
Derby because this is like a big deal
that the drivers like to do, apparently.
Sounds fun. Yeah, it's
interesting here. But Gary Ballew here,
1980, he fucking crushes
it. He was like the Snowball Derby man here. But Gary Ballew here, 1980, he fucking crushes it.
He was like the snowball derby man here.
He wins the Winston Snowball Derby.
That's what it was back then.
This was the 13th one at that.
His average speed was 66.772 miles an hour.
I think that's fast.
That's not bad.
He won it in a Camaro.
Okay.
Yeah, the race.
It was in Camaro.
6,500 people came to watch that wow uh yeah that's
that's 6,500 people crammed around that fucking track that's it that's a lot for this race uh he
said quote gary said all year all year we've either one broke or crashed okay today he said
quote the car worked real good and the car never gave up people say i drove the car too hard but i
don't think that's the case.
Sometimes it's just bad luck when you crash, because other people crashed a lot apparently here.
Below from this whole thing, he wins.
By the way, Mark Martin was also in this race, who I know is a, I think he was third.
Now, Baloo here, he wins $5,310 total here.
here he wins five thousand three hundred ten dollars uh total here uh one thousand three hundred ten dollars of it was lap money for leading 111 of 203 laps that's not bad uh he uh
it's not too shabby here uh he had i guess his right front tire was going flat and it caused
him to swerve and almost spin on the back stretch uh so he went high on the bank and regained control
uh he ends up losing a
few hundred yards because he couldn't go as fast because his tire was going flat he said quote the
tire was going flat i was going to come in but i saw him pick up the flag and i had to go for it
i thought i was going to lose the race when it happened uh so there you go because your tire
goes flat but he wins the race with a flat as a flattening tire, which isn't too shabby at all.
Not too bad.
Everybody was happy here.
Dick Trickle was also in the race.
He was in third place.
Dick Trickle.
He had an identical flat tire.
There we go.
So that's hilarious.
Dick Trickle.
So we've had Dick Trickle, Whips, Bud, Blackie.
Every goddamn horrible name.
Now, quite the quite the fucking uh the crew here but
there's an article that i love here by the way yeah from here they talk about the snowball derby
and how he wins then there's a separate article in the same paper this is from the pensacola
journal i believe who cares some paper that's probably out of business now but uh the air the
the title of the of the thing is quote air of sophistication looms about Baloo.
Okay.
Air of sophistication looms about Baloo.
And they say, I'll just read you some of this article.
Quote, somehow Gary Baloo just doesn't seem to fit in with the crowd that makes up the scene for the Winston Snowball Derby at Five Flag Speedway in Pensacola.
Doesn't seem to fit in with these people.
Derby at Five Flag Speedway in Pensacola? Doesn't seem to fit in with these people.
Baloo, 33, a native of Hialeah, has a confident, sophisticated air about him. He seems like he'd be more at ease in a gray flanneled suit on Wall Street instead of wearing the uniform of a stock
car driver covered with grease and the smell of gasoline. Baloo appears to be the type who should
be driving turbocharged Porsche 927s through the streets of Le Mans instead of making 203 circles around a half-mile high-banked asphalt track in a Camaro.
He just doesn't have the good old boy image that stock car drivers are supposed to possess.
He's not white trash.
Yeah.
They say it's not that Gary Ballew is cocky or snobbish.
It's just that he seems out of place behind the wheels of a stock car.
Maybe that's the reason why Ballou seems aloof to his fellow drivers.
So it's a fish out of water story now?
It's a fish out of water story, yeah.
He says, quote, I felt from the very start there was no way anybody was going to beat me today on Sunday.
And they say, maybe that's why.
Maybe his cocky attitude is why they do it.
He says, quote, when you win the pole position, that's 50% of the battle right there.
That means you've got the best car. That means you should win the race. I know what everybody was saying after I won the pole position with that quick time. They were saying it was just
a matter of time. I wouldn't last. The car would break down. All that kind of stuff. They were just
waiting for me to fall out. Let me tell you something that he sounds pretty fucking redneck
to me. Let me tell you something. That car could have run all day and so could I. The car never
gave up and neither did I. He sounds like a wrestling promo. let me tell you something that car could have run all day and so could i the car never gave up and neither did i he sounds like a wrestling promo it's because he said that car
could have run instead of that car could have ran and also they were just waiting for me to fall out
right that that that just made me and let me tell you something whenever it's a let me tell you
something instead of what uh yeah instead of okay i guess go ahead uh then they said maybe that's
what makes gary seem aloof maybe gary has some class about him the other drivers don't have.
Or maybe it's because Gary Ballew is a city boy competing in a country boy sport.
Maybe.
Maybe he's just a little less redneck-y than the other guys, but he's still pretty fucking
redneck-y.
Calm down about the air of sophistication.
He's still driving a fucking car.
Yeah, it's fucking ridiculous.
He said that he planned on retiring by the age of 30 with racing.
Really?
Now he's 33.
And then he realizes there's no fucking money in this.
Then he realizes he's making six grand a year.
He said, this isn't going to work.
He's like an open mic comic that's like, in five years, I'm going to retire.
I'm fucking retiring.
He said, quote, however, when I got to be 30, I realized I couldn't retire.
By that time, I was getting better as a driver.
By the way, at this point in his career, he had won more than 300 races.
He says he has two or three things working which could put together a deal to get him
to NASCAR the next year.
He's exactly like an open mic guy.
He's an open mic guy.
I got a couple of things cooking.
I know a guy that I met.
I'm a bitch just for laughs the next year.
I met this guy that said that he can get me on a showcase if I drive 12 hours on my own
dime.
And stay at a friend's house. and stay at a friend's house.
He can get me on a showcase, a five minute guest spot. And there might be a booker there. I heard
that that one booker from a place that I'm not even from where I would cost me money to go
perform. I heard he might be there. So if he sees me and he might think of me, if I email him later, he might remember me.
I might email him incessantly for the next five years.
He won't email me.
He won't say like, you're great.
I want to book you.
I'll have to bother him constantly.
Yeah, that's kind of what it is for this guy.
To get him to stop me from email.
And he's going to have to send a very strongly worded email about how he was with his family when I emailed
him last time.
Exactly.
That's hilarious.
When I called and texted and emailed him.
And he emailed me back and said, how did you get my number?
So 1980, he reaches his goal of driving a NASCAR.
He's a NASCAR race here.
He's got some things cooking.
He's in one race that year.
One race, NASCAR 1980.
He makes $610.
The big time.
Yes, $610 he makes in NASCAR that year.
So you can file that away.
If you move to Cambodia, that's like seven years salary.
Oh, that's what I mean.
Yeah.
In Bangladesh, you're a factory owner.
You're the king.
You have hundreds of children working under you.
Hundreds.
It's phenomenal.
The wait is over.
So far, you're not losing.
The only thing you're losing is my patience.
Quickly, I see that.
Bing!
The queen of the courtroom is back.
I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
Okay, so, um...
This is not a so. This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor. You is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
The Emmy Award winning series returns.
How did I know that?
I have a crystal ball in my head.
It's an all new season.
It's streaming.
You can say anything.
Judy Justice.
Only on Freebie.
And now back to the show.
Hey, everybody.
Just here to tell you a little bit about a podcast that's new to Podcast One.
Sportsnet, Baseball and Chill, and also the Big 12 Podcast.
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If you love the show, make sure to share it with a friend
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Yeah, and now back to the show.
and review. Yeah. And now back to the show.
So 1981,
he wins the Miller High Life 300.
There you go. That's a classy event right there.
Nothing sounds classy. You get 300 cans of Miller High Life for that. That's what you get. Enjoy.
Not even bottles, cans.
And they've been sitting out in the sun.
They're warm, so good luck. They've been sitting in the
winter circle all day. That's how it works.
There's just no refrigeration.
Not even ice.
Not even a cooler.
Not even a tub filled with ice.
In their cardboard boxes still.
There you go.
Clank, and they put them in front.
Ten cases.
Enjoy.
You want to drink them now?
You can crack one now?
It's funny, too.
After these races, they show pictures of a lot of them that he won.
He's got a can of Schaefer in his hand after a race.
I'm like, that's what you want to drive 150 miles?
A can of Schaefer?
That's terrible.
He runs 10 NASCAR races in 1981.
It's a little more.
His best finish was 10th.
He finishes 10th at Richmond.
He leads one lap that year.
A whole lap.
He actually leads a lap.
He leads one lap in Talladega whole lap. He actually leads a lap. He leads one lap in Talladega.
Wow.
One lap and then crashes.
But he leads one lap in Talladega.
If it weren't for that crash, maybe he would have won.
And that's the thing, too.
That's the other thing they say is they say about this guy, he's a guy that could have done it.
They're all like, he could have gone all the way.
He could have been the man, except something is about to happen that prevents that so he does make your aunt had balls right that's exactly my aunt had balls should
be my uncle so uh funny it's goddamn thing i've ever heard the most old-timey i've never heard it
it's fucking amazing so old-timey it's like an old-timey black woman thing to say it's like
like a old black church woman would say that and And you'd be like, damn, Velma's getting fucking raw.
She'd be like, that's right.
And you'd be like, yeah, she's fucking around.
Didn't take any shit.
Had he really say that shit?
Yeah.
So he makes $34,430 in NASCAR in 1981.
So that's better.
That's good money.
That's getting there.
1982, he comes in 11th in Daytona uh which isn't bad at all he makes 18 555 dollars
for that race for coming in yeah for coming in there uh they talk about this actually here that
uh the people who race without a sponsor is like impossible they're basically talking about these
teams that race like race to race basically the paycheck to paycheck they're living trying to
get new influx of cash every race to keep it going like happy gilmore with golf minus the big paydays
because his checks were huge that's what i mean that's but there's no paydays here uh the one
driver who they won't say who an anonymous driver from this time says that he maintains his own shop
and builds his own cars he says that every driver competing in the race needs to come away
with no less than 15 000 to break even basically just to run this race uh they said uh the last
place finishers cut at daytona is less than two thousand dollars back then so they're like if you
come in last you you lost your ass you can't make it to the next race yeah you lost your ass you're
gonna need to borrow money and do all that shit uh So February 18th, 1982, he's doing well.
It looks like he's finally going to be more of a NASCAR driver and make a little more money.
And that's still better than what he was making.
The Rahmock, R-A-H-M-O-C team?
I don't know.
Rahmock team?
Rahmock team?
They said they had enough sponsorship from
domino's pizza that year the team he races for to be able to run at least 25 races so they were
sponsored out for 25 races with gary as the driver everything's going fantastically and then february
18th 1982 comes around this is a day they call in racing Black Thursday. This is not good.
And it's not a race thing.
This is not a race thing.
What do you expect in that fucking sport?
This is front page headlines across the nation of every single newspaper.
Quote, racers are ringleaders in drug ring, FBI says.
Uh-oh.
This is not great.
This is bad for everybody.
That's brilliant.
Yeah.
Gary is one of these people who's in this.
And this just
happens we know this this is brilliant what they did smuggling across the country especially
florida guys and that's the thing they were doing is a lot of times they were actually packing the
weed into this was they were packing the weed into the actual race cars themselves because they were
like that's not going to get searched and they that's how they were transporting the shit and
all the equipment so they were driving all around they would take because all these guys are florida
guys they would take it in in florida pack it in the race shit and go on the road with it it's
fucking insane uh it's it's crazy uh uh they said that uh quote five prominent members of south
florida's auto racing community including nascar winston cup driver gary baloo were indicted on
drug trafficking charges they were five among 66 people charged.
And what FBI agents described as a multimillion dollar drug ring stretching from Florida to
North Carolina.
Wow.
Stretching from the south to the south.
Yeah.
Stretching three states.
Yeah.
They said that this was like a probably about 300 million dollar deal total.
They were saying they were importing quite a bit. That's how
he's making money. That's how all of these
places are saying in business.
That's it. Otherwise, they're not. And that's what we saw
with Randy Lanier, with Ben Kramer, with
Don Aronow. That was the
big boat maker who did all that shit, who
was like best friends with fucking George Bush
when he was head of the CIA and
vice president, but he was also running a fuckload
of drugs with the mob.
I was reading this one mob book where they were talking about Aronau,
and this mob guy was really good friends with him,
and they were building, it was the cocaine cowboys guy, John Roberts.
The Aronau guy was helping build them fucking boats to smuggle drugs,
and they also had a contract to build boats for the federal government to chase them.
And what they would do is they'd always make sure that the federal boats were a little
slower.
That's what they'd do.
And that was literally what they would do.
And George Bush is his best friend.
Fucking hilarious.
So this whole thing, it's all intertwined here.
So yeah, the indictments came down about a month before that.
And this is when the, or a week before that. This is when all the arrests are made.
The other racing figures are Billy Harvey, Bruce Peewee Griffin, Herbert Tillman, and Pete Pistone, who was the guy who originally helped him out.
So that's like his, you know, it's his crew, basically.
I didn't hear Spud or Blackie or Whip in there, but you never know.
He picked the guys without the hillbilly names.
Those guys were all too busy raiding farms.
Well, that's the thing.
That's how it goes here.
We ain't going to smuggle drugs.
Do you know how lucrative it is to steal corn?
Do you have any idea?
Do you have any idea?
I will strip them stocks bare before I'll import drugs.
You go to the store and you think it's super cheap to get them but if you have a shit
load of them i'll tell you what it's it's a lot of money there's a lot of money it adds up you
need trucks right once you get the trucks then you can make sure they are two dollars for seven
thousand of them but if you have twenty thousand of them well listen my math ain't really making
a convincing argument i'm a driver mainly i don't really do a convincing argument. I'm a driver, mainly.
I don't really do much math.
It's mostly delivery.
I do know that corn is expensive.
That's what I do know.
This is a long federal probe.
There's not a lot of profit margin if you grow it and then sell it.
But if you steal it, then it's all profit margin.
You make more on
cocaine that's a point that's a good point that you made yes that's true you do you do make more
on coke i'm not gonna lie to you but there's some overhead involved that's the problem let's see
with corn when you steal it it's all it's all free you deal with cocaine you're gonna have to deal
with somebody who don't speak no english and he's a jing jang wongy one one some one some i don't know foreign shit garcia bernandez some
shit something that ends with a z or a with corn right it's mainly just bob right i'm just taking
it from bob sometimes sometimes there's a dale you never know sometimes there's a billy sometimes
once in a while once in a while it's a billy bob dale you never know all three might be together
in the same place same man so they're saying this is a long probe.
We'll find out how long in a second here.
They said this was for looking into drug smuggling and other smuggling activities that were coming from the Bahamas and obviously South America, that sort of thing.
The Bahamas were a stop off point for the drugs they were saying at one point.
The FBI opened the investigation of Pee Wee Griffin originally in 1980.
That's the guy you look into.
That's the guy you look into, a guy named Pee Wee.
So this was 1980 they started this.
So this is a long time, lots of surveillance.
And I read the entire, I read the appeal of this.
And so I read the entire thing.
And it's fucking boring because it's all FBI.
We surveilled this.
And the electronic surveillance was from here to here.
It's very boring.
Basically, they had shitloads of wiretaps.
They bugged these garages.
They did it like mob guys, like they do with mob guys.
The same sort of thing.
They identified Harvey and Griffin as the kingpins of the operation.
And they said that the drug ring had been making in profits $300 million a year.
A year. A year since 1976. Oh, my God. profits, $300 million a year. A year.
A year since 1976.
Oh, my God.
Think about $300 million in 1976 money.
That's so much money.
That's what that is now.
Profit.
Profit.
That is, they're making billions a year, basically, in today's money.
In pure profit, since for five, six years.
So, not too shabby here.
They can hire a lawyer.
They should be able to, I would say here. Well,
some of them will be able to. October
17th, 1980,
the government applied to the district court to get
an order basically to do the
electronic surveillance.
This was at Harvey's office
at Delray Towing.
They were saying it was hard to get a bug in there, so they
had to keep going back and forth.
They had basically the listening device was on from October 1980 till January 1981.
In this, the FBI confiscates about six and a half million dollars in property, including a 400 acre ranch in Broward County, a marina, a bunch of weed, rifles, pistols, shotguns, you name it, whatever people, rich people who smuggle drugs without having their house.
They said the ring consisted of four groups that imported and distributed at least a million pounds of weed a year.
He said this is a FBI guy, Special Agent Welton Mary.
Welton is his name.
Jesus.
And Mary is his last name.
Mary Welton.
That's Welton Mary Mary. Welton is his name, Jesus. And Mary is his last name. Mary Welton. That's Welton Mary.
Fuck.
He said, quote, these people are the beginning of the octopus.
Okay.
What?
No.
Beginning of the octopus.
No, you don't say that.
No.
That's terrible.
That octopus doesn't go very well.
You say this is the head of the serpent.
You know what I mean?
Because it goes for a long, long way.
No, octopus.
An octopus is...
Terrible analogy.
You're a dickhead.
That's why you're a federal investigator in Florida bothering with weed.
They're like, just let him do the weed.
Anything that's complicated and shit, we'll get the smart guys to do.
He's just whatever.
He's like the guy that just fucks up all cliches.
Yeah, they're just like, oh, Christ, he's talking again.
Is Welton talking again? Did Welton say that that make like a tree and get out of here again did he say that he's like biff from god shit whatever they talk about how uh they uh they
used you know these fat the a lot of these mechanics that work on the cars would tune the
power boats to make them faster. This is great.
Quote, these men are adroit at using their hands,
and because they know how to fix race cars,
they also know how to fix the vessels that were used in the operation.
So that's the same fucking motor.
It's the same thing.
Gary says, quote, I'd like to say a few things, but my lawyer says not to.
Maybe when it's all over, I'll make some comments.
All right, Gary, good call.
Veteran race car driver
guy named dave marcis marcus uh said that there's no restrictions on membership in nascar but
quote i don't think it's good for the organization to have those types of people involved i don't
know if this will give nascar a black eye it shouldn't because it doesn't involve many people
what are you fucking stupid are you joking this is a sport that started on
fucking hillbilly moonshiners that includes sponsors that are mostly beer and tobacco
back then and everything else you're gonna say a black eye jesus christ how many of these guys
you think gave their wives black eyes back then fucking hillbillies that are sponsored by schaefer
you don't think they were hitting those people j the fuck out of here. Those people. Jesus Christ.
Donnie Johnson, who's the general manager of Bobby Allison's racing team, said, quote,
I'm not a backwoods blind dummy.
I know the stuff exists, but I hope it's not in our sport as strong as it's been in other sports.
I don't know these people.
They may be innocent, and I hope they are.
Our sport doesn't need a black ball.
We're just going over...
We're just getting over the moonshine hauling reputation. It doesn't need a black ball we're just going over we're just getting over the moonshine hauling reputation it doesn't need a black ball also black guys we're not too in tune
with either we don't need none of them neither so he's gary is released from jail on a hundred
thousand dollar bond and he ends up driving in that weekend's rich richmond cup race for the
racing buick team he races the Buick.
He ends up crashing and finishing dead last in a 32-car field.
That was pretty much the end for him.
He crashes a lot.
He's very aggressive.
He's super aggressive, and he takes chances,
and he doesn't give a fuck,
and he'll break his neck and get right back out there.
He's very aggressive. Maybe he's just constantly trying to come back next year
with the fucking lap record again. Yeah, i mean he doesn't care constantly reckon he says
about the whole thing finally makes a statement he says quote i was in the wrong church in the
wrong pew which is not the again it's usually right church wrong pew but he's blah blah quote
one minute i was celebrating a nash car a nascar national championship in the all pro series the
next day i went to jail i was champion
for a day so that's why i couldn't be grace because he was it's really hard to be grace when
as you're saying grace the police are coming in the door the federal agents are coming in storming
your place to arrest you you can't enunciate all five of those letters before the cops yeah it's
not gonna work here all five of those letters nascar grace oh grace i don't know why i was
thinking nascar i'm like nascar is not five letters what are you All five of those letters? NASCAR? Oh, Grace. I don't know why I was thinking NASCAR.
I'm like, NASCAR's not five letters.
What are you talking about?
I'm the stupid one.
So NASCAR has not formally suspended him, but a spokesperson for NASCAR said that he
would be barred if he attempted to compete.
He says, quote, if Baloo would try to drive in a race now, we would take every action
to prevent him
to prevent that from occurring.
The only reason we have not taken any
action is because he has not tried to race.
So if he tries to come in here, we'll fucking
kick him out, but we're not going to put his name up.
We're not going to put his picture up and do a do not
admit. Now,
these people who
were involved in this, the other NASCAR drivers,
what they made, Billy Harvey only ran two involved in this, the other NASCAR drivers, what they made,
Billy Harvey only ran two races in 1981, the Daytona 500 and the Firecracker 4000.
He finished 41st out of a field of 42 in both races and won only $3,915 that year.
So, by the way, that's Billy with an IE.
Why do fucking hillbillies spell Y names with an IE?
Can you tell me J-I-m-m-i-e
please why the fuck do you do that trying to what is happening special stop and i'm not happy about
it either i bet you shouldn't be god damn it i don't know jimmy jj walker is spelled the same way
yeah that's why he goes by jj
jimmy johnson there's a fucking nascar driver jimmy with an i hillbilly that's my point yeah
hillbillies all around and uh billy and jimmy i think uh uh little jimmy dickens also spelled
it that way hillbilly little jimmy dickens i could tell you right now that he spells his name like
that uh gary says here let's do an in their own words here in their own words quote uh when the
arrest happened i'd been signed to drive the number 28 car for harry rayner waddell wilson was the only was the crew chief and robert yates built
the motors it was a killer ride that benny parsons ended up in and he really ran well i was definitely
at the top of my game i won a national championship with nascar's all pro circuit winning 14 of 22
races leading most of the laps uh and winning the most polls we were in a we were in
a great mode but then there was the conviction and i was on bond so uh yeah not not great uh
things happen here uh post bust here uh the nascar tries to sweep it under the rug and say that baloo
and harvey weren't like real nascar drivers, all right. They said that they were just in it for a
hobby. He says, quote,
they're not prominent drivers. They are here, I think,
because they like it, but not to try to make a living at
it. And then he says they're hobbyists.
The dude, he was
he came in 10th in a race.
And he led the fucking race at Talladega.
For a lap, but still, it's a fucking lap.
The only reason it wasn't more than that is because he
crashed. He's just as good as the rest of your fucking he's fine he's just as crazy as the
rest of your hillbillies and it's fine relax you fucking it's like saying uh uppity hillbilly
this is bullshit man a sixth man is that really on the team you know i mean we pay him he does
have a uniform technically and he gets you know he shows up at all the practices and stuff but
he's not really on the team he's not like he's lebron james or anything ridiculous so uh november
1982 is the verdict of all this uh he gets uh conspiracy counts for you know conspiracy and
trafficking and all that uh baloo also is convicted of conspiring to give false information to the
fbi during the investigation uh each of the marijuana conspiracy counts carry a maximum penalty of five years in prison
and a $15,000 fine, and the false information count carries a maximum penalty of five years
and a $10,000 fine.
This is a lot.
It's a lot.
He is sentenced to six years in jail.
That's great.
That's a deal.
Fuck off.
Fuck off.
Six years and a fifteen thousand dollar fine but
that's not good when you come back out of there that's not great but he can appeal it it's a
federal appeal he can stay out on bond while he appeals great this goes on for years really years
this federal oh jesus and it's the same thing with mobsters this is they have a federal case
they get convicted and then the sentencing goes on for years and they can appeal the convictions
while they're out while they're out and they end up they end up not going for five years after they're sentenced it's
fucking crazy make a bunch more money yeah definitely uh so 1982 his total here he ran
five races in nascar uh he led zero laps but he made 35 735 dollars which was more than the year
before that's a deal uh yeah uh baloo said about have to win that's what i mean
it's not bad but he said you had to do things to to do win races he said or to be able to race he
said quote i'd gotten into some situations in the late 70s that i shouldn't have been around
to get enough funding because there weren't any major corporations around then we made some
mistakes so it sounds like he's like oh man youthful indiscretion, even though I'm 36 years old.
You know how that goes.
He just wishes that there was a pharmacy that was a legal weed pharmacy that could sponsor him.
That would be perfect for him.
He says that the conviction's been a severe setback, but he also has a good list of sponsors still.
He said, quote, it hurts me dollars and cents wise.
What I could have made a Grand National as opposed to short track racing.
At first, it was kind of hard, a hard setback because you work 18 or 19 years to get there.
Yeah, I guess so.
He said, quote, I've just I was in the wrong place at the right time.
That's all I'll say about that.
I wish it was all over and behind me.
I wish it had never happened.
We'll deal with it.
Yeah.
So there you go. He is now he's finally suspended from NASCAR from the Winston Cup
Circuit for, quote, conduct detrimental to the sport, which they drive at 200 miles an hour,
run into each other and have fistfights in the middle of the track before they drink a bunch
of beer. DUIs and DUIs. Yeah. And get DUIs all the time. Hug and leave on the track.
So, yeah.
He says that while he's appealing, in 1984, he's still appealing,
he says his plans are to change his base of operations
to go to West Broward at the edges of the Everglades.
He's going to go there.
He said he's making plans to move to Jefferson, Georgia from the Everglades he's going to go there he said he's making uh plans to move to uh to uh Jefferson
Georgia uh from the Everglades he said he wants to expand his car building shop and open a driving
school at Georgia International Speedway that's the way to make money he said quote there's no
place in the country right now now where you can buy a complete race car and have somebody teach
you how to drive it right there well don't go telling everybody it's not about yeah he's in
the newspaper no less that was right in the newspaper. Shut up.
That year, he wins the All-American 400.
He wins the World Crown 300.
Einstein didn't go
out there talking about, you guys, nobody
builds an atom bomb. Listen,
let me tell you about these formulas.
I got these formulas. Now, I know I'm
German and Austrian or whatever. That don't matter to me
right now. I'm American now. I got
formulas, and they're pretty good don't matter to me right now. I'm American now. I got formulas and they're pretty
good. Nobody's building atom bombs now.
Let me show you how to build one quick.
Let me tell you now. Write this down. You're going to
want to put this in the paper. It's ridiculous. People are going to need this.
Don't go giving your business fucking model out in the
paper. That's ridiculous. And saying how few
competitors there are. It's silly.
Stupid. So 1985
here, they're talking about him racing. There's
a big article about him still racing and still appealing and having the sentence over his head.
It's July 11th, June 11th, 1985.
But it's so weird because I was so distracted on this page because the article is interesting and all that.
But the sales, Jimmy, the sales.
Oh, my God.
The sales.
I've missed the sales to the sales. Oh, my God. It's been so long. I've missed the sales, too. The sales.
So if you happen to find yourself in Pensacola, Florida, and it happens to be June 11th, 1985,
I have some shit that you're going to want to get a hold of.
You're going to want to head over to the Sack and Save store.
It's still open.
Oh, it's still open.
You can get a top sirloin is only $1.97 per pound.
That's not bad.
What a deal.
And they are advertising it.
Shit, it's $8.99 right now.
It's not.
That's what I mean.
$1.97.
We could do this.
They're advertising it as, quote, grain-fed heavy beef.
Oh.
I don't know why you'd want it to be heavier, but grain-fed and heavy.
So these are two things they would never advertise now.
Grain-fed and heavy.
It's really heavy, and we fed it a bunch of, no, not grass, fucking grains, and it's fat and heavy. So these are two things they would never advertise now. Grain fed and heavy. It's really heavy
and we fed it a bunch of,
no, not grass,
fucking grains
and it's fat and heavy.
So weird.
Totino's frozen pizza
is only 89 cents.
That's a fucking deal.
That's a fucking deal.
I want that.
I'll buy the shit out of those
with the little tiny squares
of pepperoni.
I'll buy the shit out of those.
It's like chips of pepperoni.
It is.
I prefer Red Baron,
but that's fine.
I'll eat whatever frozen pizza. As long as it's not of pepperoni. It is. I prefer Red Baron, but that's fine. I'll eat whatever frozen pizza.
As long as it's not the pepperoni that fucking cups up and then it's just gross.
And then puddles of grease.
That's disgusting.
That's vile.
That's terrible.
And finally, you can head over to this electronics store and you can get a Tandy 1000 computer.
This ad tells me it's packed full of advanced features, including software.
Yeah.
This is $200 off.
Monitor not included, by the way.
Not included.
Does come with DeskMate disk software, so that's something.
The Tandy 1000 gives you more features than an IBM PC for less money.
Plus, unlike the PC, every Tandy 1000 comes with DeskMate software featuring applications you want most.
Every Tandy 1000 comes with DeskMate software featuring applications you want most.
IBM PC compatibility lets you choose from the most popular software on the market.
Price, $999.
It's $200 off.
So they're about the same still.
Still, but this has like four megabytes of RAM.
So not quite the same.
It doesn't do anything.
You can type words with this.
And then if you have a giant printer, you can print them out.
If you have three hours, I want to see that computer today.
Yeah, it's got a green display.
Terrible.
So 1986, he's racing.
Well, Peel's still going on. How amazing is that?
How fucking incredible printing technology is.
Oh, it's great now so fast
that like the dot matrix yeah going across the fucking page pull the perforated sides off the
fucking thing at the end now it just goes and shits it out right now oh it fires it out shoots
it out like nothing like 30 of them it's dry and everything bang shit this happened
you can smear that dot matrix shit hits you right in the chest when it comes out
i can't believe i've never thought about how fast we really did that well that's computers
have come a long way in general but printers uh less than fucking 10 years ago they were shit
they were garbage no you're right they were it's and yeah even 10 years ago, they were shit. They were garbage. No, you're right. They were. Yeah, even 10 years ago, they were garbage.
They still took forever.
And now these laser jets.
I remember printing out scripts, and that took like a fucking hour for 110 pages to
come out.
Oh, God, yes.
And you'd get like a script and a half out of an ink cartridge, which was miserable also.
Okay, well, that was great.
I have like nine ink cartridges on hand.
And dear Christ, if you have a color one, forget it.
Don't even worry.
You wouldn't even bother with the color.
I never refilled the color. No one refilled the color one why would you what is
that 68 dollars for me to or 18 for black no fuck it black yeah uh so he's racing well in 1986 uh
the appeal is still going on still has not been to jail okay the day he was arrested and then
released on bond is still the only time he's been to jail wow and he was arrested four fucking years ago six years sentence hanging over
his head which is honestly batshit like that's just insane for drugs it's it's crazy man you
better be careful the war on drugs is coming up right around the corner it's right now this is
when it ramped up that early 80s is when theyed up on the smuggling. And right now, Nancy Reagan's telling kids not to do drugs.
And it's a bunch of useless monies being spent on shit that clearly never worked.
Now that we have, you know, 2020, we got a lot of black people in jail, a lot of white
kids with new T-shirts.
It's a dare on them and then nothing else, basically, and a giant fucking opioid issue.
That's what we have.
So thanks, guys. Good job. Congratulations, Miss Reagan. dare on them and then nothing else basically and a giant fucking opioid issue that's what we have so thanks guys good job congratulations miss reagan stop concentrating on weed and concentrate on heroin you dumb fucking twat anyway and usually the people that sell that are wearing a white lab
coat and they're behind a wall now yeah that's the thing now well then too but just people weren't
aware of it right they didn't know they liked heroin i didn't i didn't realize that this shit
was heroin until like fucking five years ago.
I don't think a lot of people do.
But that's we like heroin in the fucking eighteen hundreds and through like 1920.
Everything had heroin in it.
Everything had heroin.
They give you opium.
They give you everything had fucking heroin in it.
That's what it was.
So what?
Because for 60, 70 years, it sort of went out of fashion and it was like only junkies use heroin
and now everybody uses it again people like fucking heroin i'm sorry when you found out
you can take heroin in pill form yeah not that it's good but i'm saying it's there's an explanation
for it and horrible it's fucking heroin and people enjoy it obviously for centuries limbaugh
jesus christ god damn it so anyway uh uh the all pro, the public relations director for the racing league, the all pro
racing league he's racing for, they're fine with him.
NASCAR doesn't want anything to do with him, but they're silver over there.
They need asses in seats.
They need ticket sales.
So he says, quote, never in any way have we chastised Gary.
He's still one of our foremost racers.
I've known Gary since he was five.
He's got lots of talent, and we are happy to have him race here.
So we don't give a shit.
He can smuggle as much.
As long as he's not smuggling weed across our track.
Right.
As long as it's not in his car from the starting line to the finish line, that's the smuggling.
We don't really care.
And how's that for good old boy?
Yeah.
Next car.
That's as good old boy as it gets.
That's what I mean.
If that was some fucking black guy who got caught with all that weed, they wouldn't be like, well, I'm sure he's fine.
I've known him since he was five.
He wins the All-Pro Championship in 86, the All-American 400, the All-Pro Championships in Nashville.
This is when the appeal comes up here.
Ten different people out of the 66 challenged their convictions
for this, in this whole thing.
56 of them just said, all right.
56 of them, but they might have made deals.
56 of them, too. But these guys didn't make
deals. They're trying to fight the thing.
They say that Harvey ran this
operation out of his office at the Delray
Towing Service. Like we said, he owned it.
It was in Delray Beach, Florida.
They're saying that they just go over the whole thing using speed boats to transport sponsor right towing no no
no no that was years to years before that was some kansas city oh that's right yeah they said
large freighters would then this is what i mean they take them on the freighters where they'd have
all the cars and all the equipment they're on the 18 wheelers they'd pack weed in with all that shit
yeah and just take it across the country.
It's funny, too.
I love this here in the appeal.
I love the legal language.
Quote, there is no contention that the evidence was not sufficient to show participation of
all the appellants in the conspiracy.
The prosecution, however, relied on evidence obtained by electronic surveillance at Harvey's
office at Delray Towing.
So they're like, yeah, we didn't see shit.
We don't have any evidence you could hold
or I could hand to you.
We just recorded everything.
You got a tape from this dick.
I hate that for some reason.
That just doesn't seem fair to me.
It's like fucking, it's like hiding with a radar gun.
I just don't like it.
You gotta catch him.
If you're gonna get a mob guy,
you gotta fucking catch him with a body in the trunk.
I'm sorry.
That's the way I've always looked at it.
And if he doesn't put himself near that body,
then guess what?
You don't get that guy. He's smart right and tough shit on you beating you yeah
crime and sports we root for the criminal right i will root for a bad guy we always do yeah we love
as long as nobody gets hurt i'm fine with this that's what i mean this gary blue guy
so far he hasn't done anything to piss me off. He runs his races. I don't care about that.
He smuggles weed.
I couldn't care fucking less of your smuggling weed.
A little bit.
Not even this much.
Don't care that you're doing that.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Good looking out.
You know what?
All the teenagers in the 80s who needed weed, they thank you.
I'll represent them even though I was like four years old when this was going on.
Some of that weed may have gotten back to you later on.
You never know.
Some of the weed you smoke may have come off the same plant.
You know what?
You might have gotten people into weed who then got me into weed.
So thank you.
I appreciate that.
Not too bad here.
He says he's ready to go for 1986.
He's actually like a big deal in this all pro circuit.
He's all ready to go.
He says, quote, we were fixing the signed dominoes in 1986 for three quarters of a million dollars for 25 all pro races.
But then I had to do what I had to do.
We had our banquet on Saturday night, and then I had to report to prison Monday morning.
That was the end for four years.
I'd gotten into situations in the late 70s I shouldn't have been around
to get enough funding for the corporate blah, blah, blah.
So, holy shit.
He had to say it all over again.
He had to say it all.
That's like his standard thing that he has to say.
But all that money, all ready to go, 25 races for the All-Pro deal.
$750,000 on the table.
Yep, down the Domino's Pizza.
Had the money on the table. All that Noid money fucking out the window noid money that was noid money in 86 yeah
this that's it's fucking it's interesting too because he had to do like the report to prison
ouch henry hill now take me to jail fucking thing so he had a banquet and then did that uh so uh
december 1986 this is right before this, he wins the Snowball Derby.
So that was a big deal.
He was all happy.
And then he goes away.
He's ordered to prison to serve 45 and a half months.
They give him at this point, which is what he does, actually, out of the six years.
August 30th, 1988.
He's in prison right now. He's already in prison. Got it. He's not out. He's in prison right now.
He's already in prison.
Got it.
So there's no, he's not out.
He's not doing anything.
But apparently this is the thing with these federal investigations.
They take a while to catch up with you.
You know what I mean?
Like they'll investigate you and they have to really build this case out.
They really want to make sure they can fuck you.
Right.
Yeah.
Airtight.
So this article here talks about two Florida men who were arraigned on charges that
they smuggled 15 000 pounds of marijuana from florida to the bahamas or from the bahamas in
1986 aboard a yacht they bought and registered in 1985 and gary is one of these guys god damn it so
while he is literally appealing a federal fucking sentence for drug smuggling, this is just stupid.
He's smuggling again.
Jesus.
And not only just like in the fucking mix, like, oh, yeah, him and this other guy bought a fucking yacht to smuggle shit.
They're actually doing it.
They were like, oh, I got an idea.
Let's do this.
Well, you can't run NASCAR.
I got a lot of legal fees and dominoes ain't paying up.
It's crazy so it's it's gary here and uh and uh zero uh
oh wow uh busi busi gilo okay the middleman the middleman uh here they plead the guy that spoke
to the drug lord the italian guy uh he pleaded they plead not guilty in district court on charges
of conspiracy to defraud the internal Revenue Service, conspiracy to smuggle marijuana and violations of the Interstate Travel Act.
I guess you have a bunch of weed with you.
Got them on fucking tax laws.
Yep.
These two here.
They said that Baloo posed as Peter J. Newman and bought a shell company about that, made a company on paper named Silver Lining Inc.
Silver Lining to the whole drug charge.
I guess we'll do this.
I like that his alias is like a bunch of names from Seinfeld just mixed together.
Yeah.
Jay Peterman and-
What do you say, Alfred E. Newman?
No, that's the man.
Never mind.
Shit.
All right.
Peter Jay?
That's fine.
Good enough.
That'll work.
That's good.
Yeah, it's named Silver Lining Inc.
They bought it from the Yacht Registry Limited of Wilmington.
The two of them then used this company to buy the 53-foot yacht.
Wow.
53-foot fucking hatteras yacht abracadabra, they called it, from the registry.
You know how much they bought this yacht for?
Guess.
$150,000.
$307,000 in cash money.
Drug money.
Cash fucking money.
Yeah, if someone whips out $307,000 in cash in 1985 in Florida, chances are that's drug money.
A $300,000 yacht.
$300,000 yacht.
And then they destroyed the records for silver lining before the when the shit started to come down.
They destroy the business records, which is also a crime.
This is all from the grand jury indictment.
The fraud charge came after the both.
These guys gave false identifications on IRS forms required for cash transactions of more than $10,000.
Got it.
So they lied on these forms.
So they said, what's going on here?
Looked into them.
Why are these idiots buying a boat?
Oh, that guy's on federal appeal for drug trafficking.
Let's see what's going on.
Holy shit.
It's the same exact thing.
This guy's a fucking moron.
Unbelievable.
So easy to track.
It's the easiest thing to track.
It's so stupid.
Unbelievable.
So easy to track.
It's the easiest thing to track.
It's so stupid.
They hired a guy named Joseph Daniel Sykes, Carl Leon, quote, Doc McKinney.
These are black guys, I feel like.
And Don Wayne Sykes, I guess that's the brother of Joseph Daniel, to pilot the yacht.
Basically, this yacht would hold 15,000 pounds of weed at a time, which is a good amount of weed. but they really should have been doing coke because they would have made a shitload more money 15 000 pounds
of coke gets you a lot more than 15 000 pounds of weed uh yeah they did this they did 15 000
pounds of weed is so much more weed it's so you could probably fit a lot more coke oh fuck yeah
oh shit yeah oh my god you can fit so much coke so much more 15 000 pounds yeah they're just in terms of
weight but in terms of size 15 000 pounds of weed is a room full and 15 000 pounds of coke is not
that much it's like the size of a trunk yeah that's what i mean so that's it's yeah when you
hear about the smuggling and like trafficking they would have to make this you don't think
about this but all the cars they would transport shit and they would have them all specially done
so they had like these iron shocks that couldn't, that wouldn't drop no matter how much weight
was in the car.
Cause they would have, you know, four tons of weed, four tons of cocaine in the trunk
and the car be dragging on the fucking ground just from Coke.
We put like, like bars in there, like rigid frame on a motorcycle.
That's what they do.
There's no shock.
They put these crazy shocks that were like for like a tractor trailers and like, you know, freight liners and shit.
And they put them in your Chevy.
And they could ride like a dump truck.
Yeah, that's exactly right.
On June 1st, 1986, these guys had 15,000 pounds of weed on board the yacht here on board the Abracadabra going from the Bahamas to Florida.
That day, the Coast Guard pulled them over,
which I guess is what they do.
You pull you over in a boat.
They pull them over.
They intercept them.
They search the boat.
They confiscate all of it,
and they take all three crew members into custody.
The crew members ended up being convicted on smuggling charges and were serving time before they even arrested these two,
before the indictments even came down,
federal investigators, the problem was they bust these guys,
they put them in jail, the drivers, the boat, you know, just the crew.
In possession of the weed.
In possession.
And then they have to figure out whose boat it is.
Those guys didn't talk.
They didn't say anything.
They didn't say shit.
Brilliant.
So they didn't say anything.
They just took the charge.
So then they had to figure out, they had to go back, okay,
these three schmucks probably didn't buy a $300,000 yacht on their own and do this.
So they were just like a crew captain and they weren't high rolling drug dealers or anything like that. I'm picturing the guys from fucking Captain Phillips.
I'm just picturing more Captain Ron.
I'm picturing the guys that chase Captain Ron to the edge of the dock as they pull off in the beginning there.
And the car goes in.
Yeah, yeah.
So they trace the ownership of the boat, finally get it because they trace it back to a fake company with a fake guy.
And they have to figure out who this fake guy is.
And they finally get all the way back to Ballou and Basiglio here.
And the U.S. District Court judge here
orders Ballou held on a $100,000 bond
for some reason, I don't know,
because he's already in federal prison
serving on a drug smuggling charge.
He's not going anywhere.
Basiglio was released on a $50,000 bail.
So he's there.
So Jesus Christ,
now this fucking guy is sitting in prison,
but he's in like a double
prison now which i guess it's not i guess it's not that bad though because it's not like they
can put you in it's not like they're gonna go well we're gonna put you in a worse prison now
or we're gonna bury you under the prison no you're you're already there if you have a decent lawyer
you're gonna get that shit concurrent like i guess that's not that bad he that's kind of a freebie yeah you know what i'm saying i got away with one it's kind of a freebie it really is like
it's not unless they really throw the book at you on this one which i mean if they do what are you
gonna get 10 years and that's and he can even say like he's already in prison like i mean he's he's
he knows the wrongness of his ways he's been in prison he's doing these like you can totally get
out of that and just have it be concurrent.
And it's fucking insane here.
But he's still sitting in prison.
He has to feel a bit like an asshole because he went in the fucking papers for how long.
I just wrong place, wrong church, wrong pew.
I just want to put it all behind.
When he said, I just want to put it all behind me, blah, blah, blah.
He was currently smuggling.
He had just bought a fake shell company, three hundred thousand dollar yacht to smuggle now he's sitting there in jail and he's like fucking life was good in florida not in this
fucking jail and then there's a knock on the door and it swings open and he's very surprised
because it's the mexican p. Yeah. Guns blazing. And he says...
How is it?
How is it you've come to arrive here?
Why are you here?
Why do you come?
Why do you come?
You live in Florida.
That's nice.
You could smuggle the drugs.
First of all,
here's one thing I do not understand from you.
Number one, you smuggle drugs from Bahamas?
What is wrong with Mexico?
What is wrong with me?
We cannot be business partners?
You think it's just because I have the girls that I do not do the marijuana also?
I smuggle the marijuana.
I help you smuggle the marijuana.
I am very insulted by this, and because of that, i will not pour you scotch goodbye poof and in a in a puff of of cheetah skin yeah he's gone
tequila tequila limes cheetah sky meant to say not cheetah skin probably some salt some salt
definitely some salts in there i would say poof uh so finally 1990 he's released from prison uh finally here uh
he says quote uh but i've talked all i want to talk about it i'm sick of talking about it i did
my four years and i'm trying uh i'm trying i'm tired of being beat down i did the deal and it
cost me greatly my marriage my career in winston cup everything i'm surviving i still have my kids
i love to fish i have my health and my ability, and I'm going on.
That's all behind me.
I paid a dear price, 45 and a half months, but it's over.
When I came back, I got my seven-year-old car and went out to Somerville, South Carolina
for a 200-lap all-pro race.
I sat on the pole, and we won the race.
I can still do this.
So that says I'm getting out.
I'm not past my prime.
I'm getting out and I'm pretending none of this shit ever happened.
And I'm just going to say I'm moving on.
So 1991, he tries to go to he does the qualifying for the Daytona 500 and he does not qualify.
This is the only does not qualify of his NASCAR career that ever happens.
He does run two NASCAR races that year.
They let him back in.
He makes $6,410.
So the money has not improved much since he was in prison.
June or May 24th, 1992 is the Coca-Cola 600 in Charlottesville or in Charlotte, not Charlottesville.
That's other things happening in Charlotte.
Terrible things are happening.
Coca-Cola 600 cracker in Charlottesville.
Running down 600 black people on the be not a good race car mind it's a bad race there somebody got real confused about that like this ain't a racetrack uh this is his last nascar race
out of this whole thing he only led one lap in his entire nCAR career out of 4,033.
In Talladega.
So the equivalent of 5,668.9 miles, he led one lap out of all that.
He was in first place once.
Once.
One lap.
That was in Talladega, where he went from 41st to 1st.
That's awesome.
Which is pretty amazing.
And then he blew his engine and crashed.
So that happens there.
He also had a ton of short track wins, as we know.
Those are his main deal here.
He started at an average of 21st place in NASCAR and finished at an average of 25th place while bringing home a career grand total earnings of $90,900.
Good God.
In NASCAR.
That shit was lucrative.
Lucrative over the course of 15 years with prison sentences and everything else mixed
in there and $500,000 worth of cars and blown engines.
So surprisingly enough, NASCAR is more lucrative than comedy.
Shocking.
It is.
It is.
And probably less dangerous.
He makes $7,700 in 1992 from NASCAR.
1992, Winston Open.
He finishes that year 19 of 25, makes $2,600.
1994, he finishes 13th of 17 at the 1994 Super Truck Winter Heat 2000.
Oh, he's driving those?
Oh, baby.
He's driving anything that somebody will put a fucking steering wheel in his hand and pay
for it, he'll drive it.
They'll say, you want to drive this?
He'll go, you paying for it?
Yeah.
Is it yours?
You buying?
I don't know how to buy.
You buying?
You're going to pay for it.
It's all for you.
I'm the engine and everything.
I get money.
And then you pay me, too.
Now, if I win, you don't keep it all, right?
I get some.
I get some.
All right.
And then you can have this truck back.
Then he goes, all right. And that's the end of it., right? I get some. I get some. All right. And then you can add this truck back. Then he goes, all right.
And that's the end of it.
Gets on in the truck.
1995, he races again.
Super truck winter heat 200.
He finishes fifth this year.
Great.
Out of 18.
So he improved from 13th to, I would assume, maybe driving those trucks.
You'd need a little more experience.
October of 2000.
It's generally washed up assholes that were, or nobodies that drive those yeah yeah that's
truck thing they wanted it to take off so badly it was kind of started when s10s were like the
cool thing to have like the lowered yeah okay yeah and and the dodge uh direct i remember that
it's like espn at two in the morning in the in the early 90s and they didn't matter no no one
cared about that like what's happening here one What are those trucks now? This is stupid.
You're literally like, what are those trucks now?
What's happening? You look at them like you look
at somebody wearing overalls. Yeah.
Those fucking overalls. What are you wearing, overalls?
At the grocery store. You got overalls on?
What are you doing? Is that a truck?
By the way, I did, okay, a quick
sidebar. I was at Circle K,
which is a convenience store here, like a 7-Eleven
type of thing, and I go inside gas station. I go i go inside as i go inside there are two employees outside the front
door smoking a cigarette right they always are uh there is one in the store at the register yeah
there is a line i get online and there's like four people in front of me which pissed me off
right away like this fucking shit better go the most inconvenient convenience store ever i look
behind me after about 10 seconds.
There are fucking a dozen people behind me.
There's like 16 people in line.
There's one girl's trying her best to do this thing.
She's like 17 years old.
So I have never done this in my life before.
I got out of line.
I fucking marched outside and I went, hey, you got about 15 people in this fucking line.
You better get in there and clear this shit out right now.
They threw their cigarettes down and ran inside.
Who would have thought?
They fucking did it.
I thought they'd be like, fuck you, dude, or call the cops or something.
And they're like, I'm so sorry.
They're like, you fucking better be sorry.
Circle K hires the most dipshitted people ever.
At QT here, you can't even have,
the mustache is the only facial hair they're allowed to have.'t, you can't even have like the mustache is the
only facial hair they're allowed to have.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Different.
It's like the Yankees.
Right.
And at Circle K, they're like encouraged for facial hair.
You're allowed to have like.
But like, that's just for the women.
You're allowed to have IV needles dangling from the vein at Circle K.
But they're so dumb that those kids that threw down those cigarettes were probably like,
fuck, they said the regional manager is coming and there he is.
Well, the thing that I felt...
They probably just thought you owned the place.
I felt so...
No, I don't look like I own anything.
You look...
At Circle K, you look like you could own a Circle K.
I walk back in and I take my place back in line
and I'm feeling super good about myself.
I'm like, yeah, that's right,
because now people are getting help
and I'm like, I did this. i facilitated all of us getting out of here and
i'm feeling overly proud of myself and i turn around to like receive the praise from my fellow
line goers yeah i turn around the guy directly behind me is like a 500 pound man with a 87 ounce drink of course and fucking overalls and his mouth just open just
staring at me blankly i went i went somebody had and i look at him and he's just staring back at
me i went never mind and i just turned around and all the joy all day all the joy was drained
from me completely because you have no patience for this guy fuck this guy like i should
have just let him wait he didn't care this slack jawed fuck didn't notice i'm on board with not
waiting for shit though there will be people so man i had somebody in front of me counting out
cash he goes he had two drinks and then he goes and then i want to put five on whatever fucking
pump and he just starts counting change. Oh, God.
Jesus Christ.
And I go, put his gas and all that shit and this drink on this car.
I don't care.
I don't want to wait.
And the guy goes, that's so nice.
No, it's not.
No, it's not.
No, I'm just impatient.
The amount of time that I'm going to waste waiting for your bullshit is worth way more
than five bucks.
You should have taken the change.
Just pay me back and take it in the parking lot and just flung it up into the air.
Fuck out of here.
I wanted to tell him so bad, I'm not being nice, sir.
I'm actually being a complete cunt to you and you don't even realize it because you're
too fucking stupid to realize it.
People don't want to sit around and wait for your bullshit.
They don't want to sit around for that.
You were probably proud of yourself for that, too.
We're very overly proud of ourselves for shit i don't wait no so october 2000 uh baloo here is returning to the dirt
driving thing here everybody's very excited a lot of people see this because he's older now
they see this as an attempt by promoter glenn donnelly to hype a sagging gate they say what
is that get people to come there because no one's showing up.
Don't say saggy gate around those people, though.
Everything they have is saggy.
When he comes back, they're going to bring the Batmobile to show everybody and all that.
So they're going to try to get people in here.
They talk about the Batmobile.
Gary says, I don't think that that could ever happen again.
He said, we caught them in 1980 with a lax rule book. Kenny Weld went
through the book and he was brilliant. I'd like to
win this thing again for him, Mario Rossi,
Whip Mulligan, Grant King, and all the
other people who made my career. What it is,
God be with them. He said, my
car was so superior that it was almost not
even fun to drive. Any idiot could have
driven it. We had the whole package, aero
and motor. We had Don Brown's
chassis and Ray
Stonkus and Pete Hamilton, Ron driven it we had the whole package arrow and motor we had don brown's chassis and race and
race stonkus and pete hamilton ron hutter working on and it was like oj simpson's dream team of
lawyers wow jesus christ what a terrible please don't do that that's not the right thing to do
i love this i'm like oj that's what he basically said i'm oj no that's not what you want to say
you don't want to announce I'm like OJ.
I got one over on you. Is that what you're trying to tell us, sir?
I put a team together like OJ. I don't want anybody saying you eat a hamburger like OJ.
Just don't tell me I do anything like OJ unless you say I run through an offensive line like OJ.
Or put my pants on like OJ.
Or he puts them on like everybody else i
suppose they're on i don't know who puts them on no proof that someone else isn't doing it i have
no idea no this is my favorite here this is wonderful what's doing in their own words about
his age for this because they're talking about look man you're kind of old to be coming back
making a comeback in racing he says quote in their own quote, as for the age issue, I just turned 53, but I tell everybody I'm 39 because I feel like I'm 25.
And I haven't been away from racing for 20 years.
I've been racing a lot in the South.
In 1996, I drove Pee Wee Griffin's late model, and our goal was to win 50 races.
The most I'd ever won before was 39, and we won 67 out of 79 that year.
Since then, I've done R and d and crew chief work i run bj mcleod
or pete or space cars and i teach young drivers aerodynamics chassis setup and how to drive
god damn it yeah fucking dare you tell them tell me i'm old i'm still hung up on i'm 53 but i tell
people i'm 39 because i feel like i'm 25 that's my favorite thing tell them you're 53 then 53 i tell them i'm
39 but i feel like i'm 25 how old are you 39 that's funny you don't look 39 great because i
don't feel 39 either i feel like i'm 25 even though i look like i'm 53 why don't you just
tell them i'm 53 but i feel 25 just tell them that shit and leave 39 the fuck out of this
they're like where i think at that point how old, how old are you? 39? Are you really?
No,
I'm actually 53,
but I feel like I'm 25.
Well,
where the fuck
does 39 come from?
Where'd you get that
out of your ass?
What is that,
halfway between 53
into,
what are you talking about?
Have you talked
to this fucking asshole
for a minute?
It's literally 14 years.
It's halfway between.
Right in between.
That's literally what he said.
What are you doing this for,
dickhead?
What an asshole,
Jesus Christ.
So, I mean, he's running these tracks.
He's running his mouth.
He's being a fucking idiot.
I mean, I guess he's older.
At least he stopped smuggling.
I guess we can say that for him.
He's got an uptick in behavior.
Yeah.
Well, until 2004 when he's sent back to prison for smuggling again.
Again.
A fucking again he smuggles.
You know, like 25-year-olds do.
You know, like, fuck, he felt like i'm 25 he goes
when you feel when you buy a yacht under a shell corporation under an assumed name and you smuggle
in drugs from south america and the caribbean it feels like a young man's game real youthful i feel
young when i'm doing that i don't know what it is maybe it's the criminality maybe i don't know what
open water so yeah sent back to prison
again this is for five years yeah he ends up doing another five years in prison this is his
third prison stint well technically a second prison stint but his third third time being
sentenced to federal prison we'll say uh for that 2009 he's released from prison, finally. He's on house arrest, though, until May of 2010, when he is finally released from the...
He's a free man now.
Free man, and as of May of 2010, he did his time in Pensacola the last time.
Some federal facility in Pensacola was the last place he was.
In 2010, he runs the Eckerd 200, which is the...
Same one.
His famous race. He comes in 44th out, which is his famous race.
He comes in 44th out of 47.
Oh, no.
So he goes from being the dominant factor of that to 30 years later, it's not quite the same.
And everybody's cars are the same now.
He doesn't have a car that's twice as good as everybody else's, which is a problem.
He says, quote, if the opportunity is right and i have the chance to
work with people like this again i'd come back in a heartbeat but next time i'll test somewhere
three or four days and when i come back here we'll be ready so he's like we didn't test it we just
put our car on the track here uh as of march of 2010 uh he was living in miami yeah uh he said
i know this because he tweeted this, and we'll find out.
Not a big tweeter.
Not a good one?
Not a good account to follow?
This is his second and last tweet.
So he gave up on tweeting very quickly.
It's, quote, now living in Miami Beach,
looking to go back into racing soon,
maybe up north, not sure,
as what I would like to build a car for Syracuse.
He got four retweets and six likes for that.
How many followers does he have?
70.
Wow.
Well, I don't know how many he had back then, but now he has 70.
70 followers and he got four retweets on that. Four retweets.
That's not bad.
That's a good, I mean, it's probably his family and it's like a race partner or something
like that.
So June of 2015, he is selected as an inductee
into the Northeast Modified Hall of Fame.
Oh my God.
Driver inductions and special awards ceremony
will be held August 5th.
Drug smuggling kingpin is in your Hall of Fame.
Hall of Fame.
Northeast Modified Hall of Fame
and Stock Car Museum it'll be
in Weedsport, New York.
Yeah.
Weedsport.
Yes.
That could never be more appropriate for a guy who's smuggled a
shitload that's amazing i'm sorry unbelievable that's fucking the most appropriate induction
of all time how is there no uh and it's even weed sport speedways super dirt car do super
dirt car series hall of fame 100 is the race it's called weedsport is also pronounced weed sport weed
that's hilarious yes weed sport how is how is there no couldn't be any better how is there no
port in fucking south florida called weedsport weedsport that would be perfect blow port yeah
powder port he uh he says at eight sixty seven uh this a couple of years ago. He's still working on race cars, but not racing.
He will once in a while.
He said he mentors young racers, a guy named Andy Jones he was working with, showing them the ropes and teaching them how to go faster.
He says, quote, my 200 lap days are over.
I've got five stents in my heart and nothing more to prove.
Well, I think the five stents are a bigger issue than nothing more to prove. He says, that one, I may have to get in
and take a few laps because they're talking about a new car that he's working on that he's really
into. He said, but I'm definitely retired. So he's retired from racing. 2016 Motorsports Race Car and Trade Show in Philly.
They have his Batmobile car there.
I am blown away by five stents in his heart.
And I have nothing to prove.
Isn't there only four?
Yeah, but you can stick shit everywhere.
There's all sorts of...
Right, my point is that he's got two in at least one of them.
His heart is being held together like...
I don't even know.
You might as well like when people
roll joints and they like roll a piece of cardboard and put it in the end like that's
what he at this point they're like i don't even know anymore about these fucking stents
just stick some shit put a piece of cut rip a piece off the cigarette pack roll it up and just
stick it in the artery it'll hold it up if you rip the front off, you can use that. Jesus Christ. This is amazing.
So, yeah, he goes to the, they have the, this car goes around the country a lot.
It's in a museum and it goes to trade shows and car shows and all that sort of thing.
He's also inducted into some other New York Hall of Fame in 2017 that none of you care about, including myself.
The Snowball 200 200 that big race uh he is uh there's the list of the 50
greatest snowball 200 drivers of all time yeah he is number 13 oh my god it's not too shabby can't
get enough of gary baloo june of 2008 his book came out like we said on his website uh it's
garybaloo.com it is called hot shoe Shoe, A Checkered Past, My Story.
You punning motherfucker.
And there's no checkered flags in your past, by the way.
Nope, A Checkered Past, My Story.
It's a picture of him.
He says he talks all about the smuggling and all that sort of thing in it.
It says also, you can order the book, and it says, how many do you want quantity?
With one, I need five of these bad boys.
It says in stock, this is great bad boys. It says in stock.
This is great.
Four thousand seven hundred fifty eight in stock.
So he's got quite a few.
He bought five.
He bought five thousand.
He gave out two hundred.
And now he's trying to sell some.
Oh, that's amazing.
This is at Gary Ballou dot com.
And the reason why I didn't buy this is because it's twenty nine ninety nine.
I'm not giving this fucking idiot thirty dollars so he can tell me that he wasn't
smuggling when I know he was smuggling.
He's trying to make $150,000 real quick.
He tries to not take responsibility
for his stupidity.
Also, that's
all it is here. Also,
Amazon.com,
there is a vintage,
it's a photo of one of
his cars. It's a cool photo. Not the Batmobile. It's a photo of one of his cars.
It's a cool photo.
Not the Batmobile. It's a photo taken at Eldora Speedway in Ohio.
It's only three by three, and it's $30.
Three by three?
Three by three.
Little tiny picture.
$30.
Fucking wallet size?
Yeah.
Free shipping.
Gee, thanks.
You appreciate it.
Thanks a lot.
Only one left.
$10 per inch?
And can't get enough even more.
At Gary Ballew on Twitter.
He has 70 followers.
He follows three people, and he's tweeted twice the last time in March of 2010.
Who does he follow?
I didn't.
It's race people.
Okay.
And he hasn't touched it in eight years, so it doesn't matter.
Yeah. touched it in eight years so it doesn't matter and uh also you can go to one zts.com and they
have hats and hoodies and shirts of him uh for like 25 30 bucks i don't know i'm not giving this
guy any fucking money um but seems like an interesting crazy bastard that's hang out with
him i'd hang out with him he seems like a nutcase that's gary baloo but he has very weed much
stupider than jeremy mayfield and i have to think he likes to smoke weed i just have to
because to do to keep smuggling that much you have to have an enthusiasm for weed at that point
it's like know the product well it's like if you if you're in the restaurant business you wouldn't
like open a restaurant have it fail open a restaurant have it fail go bankrupt do all this
shit and then open another restaurant if you didn't have a fucking passion for food right even
if you didn't have a passion for selling food you'd have to have a passion for food itself you love food and you love to eat
but fuck it that's gary baloo and his stupid federal insanity and uh wow that is that if you
like that story i have an idea of how you can tell us about it you just rather just go to itunes
that's what you do you give us five stars tell us you're following instructions following directions
or you follow us on social media at Crime and Sports on Twitter, on Facebook.
Go to ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com where you can get all the merchandise.
You can have links to everything, links to the tours, links to donate.
So you can just do it right there, either Patreon at Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports or PayPal using our email address CrimeandSports at gmail.com.
And I would like you, Jimmy, I have an assignment for you right now.
I would like you right now.
No fucking delay.
Right this second, I would like you to tell me the list of the most wonderful fucking people in the world.
Jimmy, hit me with that goddamn list.
This week's executive producers are Caitlin Stupak.
Either way, she's fantastic thank you tough name
to pronounce so cool thank you gavin mcfarland i know it's gavin mcfarland i can't write a
fucking r christian costaldi uh nilu rofs and johnny up in uh oh yeah san fran i'm pretty sure
yeah and chrissy in boston thank you very much carrie lynn yes carrie lynn no yes no yes carrie lynn jenna tv like when you sound real
sure of it and then you're like no damn nevermind charles hyatt thank you guys so so much appreciate
you guys uh green leaves booking uh bookkeeping shit these are the the newest uh donations
obviously thank you so much under the sea uh under the sea fabrics uh nicholas sanzoni i think
oh i like that name or sanzone that is not bad at all thatoni, I think. Oh, I like that name.
Or Sanzone.
That is not bad at all.
That's a good name.
That's a very Italian name.
I like that.
He's suffered much like me.
He's put through a lot of shit.
We've suffered together, my brother.
Courtney Tanabe, Katrin Price.
That's what it is.
Angel Aguilar wants to wish a happy birthday to Stephanie, who started the Crime Sports
Facebook group.
So thank you so much, Steph.
Oh, cool.
Thank you so much.
And I heard that Angel likes blowies on your birthday.
That's what I heard.
Oh, all right then.
I think that's true.
Excellent.
Kate Ives donated twice.
Thank you.
And King Milk Fart.
No.
Why would you make me say that?
Well, I think you just, that's the reason right there.
He or she donated twice.
Let's go with a he probably on that one.
Just a hunch.
You don't think the ladies are that much of dicks to do that?
I don't think a lady would think of, to call themselves milk fart.
That seems like something.
Maybe fart girl.
You never know.
Well, that's true.
But she didn't call that herself fart girl.
I feel like milk fart is something that a seventh grader made up and then has been calling
himself as his alias that for the last 20 years.
Possibly.
It's probably an at gmail.com for sure.
Yahoo.
Right.
Yeah, it's a Yahoo.
Sherry Daymer Chant.
Yes.
Carolyn Watson.
Allie Vandergrift.
Melissa Pritchard.
Ninky.
Ninky Van Gent, I think.
I don't know.
I don't think.
I'm sure.
I think I'm wrong.
Frank Castle. Got that one. Katrina Bell. I don't think. I'm sure. I think I'm wrong. Frank Castle.
Got that one.
Katrina Bell.
James Aselta.
Gemma Day.
Doug Connell.
Karen Waters.
Kaven.
Kaven Kruger.
I think that's true.
I think that's right.
I like it.
Or Kaven.
Shit.
I dig it either way.
Either way.
I'll take it.
Louise Rayfield.
Amanda McKelvey.
Amy with no last name.
Sarah Carter. Sarah Peterson,
Cal Roberson, Jared Hohe, Jesse Hartman.
That guy's in every goddamn week.
Thank you, Jesse.
Thank you so much.
Teresa Lazari, Alex East, Cole Finley, Hunter Goff, Sherry Holland.
I said Alex East.
Kate Myers, Andrea Walls, Ashley Wilsey, Kaylee Goodwin, Ken Price, Amanda Brown. Yes. Todd Crago. east kate myers andrea walls ashley willsie kaylee uh goodwin ken price uh amanda brown yes uh todd
crago that's a total white name right todd craig todd crago i think so we've been fucking batting
outside of bridges there haven't been a lot of black todd todd shaw black chad and black todd
not the most todd bridges chad ochocinco other than, we're pretty much out of them. And Todd Shaw. That's my guy. That's too short.
Andrea
I said it twice.
Andrea Wiersma.
Jeff with no last name. Ariana Folsom.
Jay Mullins.
I think I said Amanda Brown. I did.
David Hadnut. Sarah Felcher. No, Fletcher.
Jesus. Again with that.
Why would I do that?
Sarah, you're fantastic. You're wonderful, Sarah. Megan Wilgus. When I wrote that, jesus again why would i do that why would you do that sorry is going on sarah we appreciate it
you're wonderful sarah uh megan wilgus i when i wrote that i was like i'm gonna say it you know
yeah you know and i did roberta byer uh lincoln went wenninger uh kyle krasowski uh
i feel so bad for these i i'm an asshole sorry lee uh lee a dice dyess uh amber rachel uh brinchindo is
uh brinchindo 39 who was i i said his name wrong his name is not whatever i said uh not surprising
you nailed it a black guy uh but he does not grab dicks like brett rogers he wanted us to know thank
you so we know that that's good helpful for It's helpful for everyone. Billy Bob Archer, Rachel Michelle.
No, Amber Rachel.
I said that.
Bill McClellan, Carrie Summers, Jeremiah Norton, Casey with no last name, Matt Darwin, Ryan
Charles Clarkin, Brian Weber or Weber, Craig McGeechan, Anastasia De La Cruz.
What?
How did I do that?
You bursted that.
Well, those are pretty easy names.
Anastasia, though, should trip me up.
Probably.
Anita Mitchell.
Marion or Marianne?
Marion Sullivan.
Bob Richard.
Anita Mitchell.
Jake Labier coming through every week again.
Sophia Duncan.
Diablo Conqueso donated again.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
Liberty Greer.
She probably goes by Libby.
I knew a girl named Liberty.
That's a cool name.
It is a cool name, actually.
That one in America. There's a lot of Spanish ladies named America, and I dig that. I like a girl named liberty that's a cool name it is a cool name actually that one in america there's a lot of spanish ladies named america and i dig that i
like that a lot that's fucking cool a lot of spanish ladies named america i know i know a
lot of ladies that are of spanish or mexican or latin latina so every you know a bunch of spanish
ladies all named america and a bunch of all black guys that only went to brown surprisingly enough
i was wrong about that they went to how. Surprisingly enough, I was wrong about that.
They went to Howard.
Howard is a black guy.
I would have said Howard's a black guy.
I was like, what?
Is that true?
Yeah, no, no. You just heard Brown.
Right.
I just heard Brown.
And I was like, Brown people for sure.
Jimmy low hanging fruit.
Westman, his fruit hangs low like his nutsack.
So I went back to work and I asked the dude, I was like, you went to Brown, right?
And he goes, what?
And I was like, you went to Brown, right?
And he's like, no, man.
It's fucking Ivy League, man.
I don't know.
I'd still be paying back my student loans.
It's like 400 grand.
I went to Howard, and I was like, that's the black college.
And he goes, what?
And I was like, never mind.
I gotta go.
Never mind.
Long start.
We got an HR department.
I gotta run.
I gotta go.
Never mind.
Sophia Duncan, Diablo Conqueso.
I said that.
Fuck, where'd I go?
Eric Herman, Jonathan King, Jennifer, Jesus, Maychak Brockman.
Yes.
Brett with no last name.
He's on Twitter, though.
He's fucking.
Why, thank you.
Dude's a cool dude.
I like him.
Yeah, thank you, man.
Eric Berry, Mary Faust, Terry Michael Patterson, Heather Jones, Sarah McCullough, Kevin Ramsey.
And we're at the home stretch,
James. Oh, let's do it, baby.
We're almost there.
Casey Miller, Janae Content, or Content?
I'm not sure.
I'll take it, though, Janae.
Thank you very much.
Simonetta George, or Simonetta.
Fucking, I don't know.
You don't either.
No, I definitely don't.
Melanie Hodge, Robert Speer, Thomas Carnack, or Carnick.
That's what it is, Thomas Karnik.
Julie McCormick, Sarah Carlson, Christina Cleland, Travo1978.
That's interesting.
Emily Brazel, or Brazel.
Cara Teague, Carly Warden, Rick Freeman, and Phoebe Ryan.
Thank you guys so much for everything you do for us.
It's overly appreciated.
You guys are fucking amazing.
Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you thank you everybody uh honestly thank you so much uh you can't do it without you we can't your donations mean the world to us they keep us going they keep uh you know
electricity on and now we have a studio to maintain and they thank you though it's great
and great we we love it so much thank you guys for allowing us to kind of become independent a little more and allow
us to be our own thing and to do our own thing.
Be our own guys.
Well, they do it on every level, Jimmy.
Number one, we can say and do anything we fucking want because we have their support.
We don't care if a sponsor says, we don't like you saying that or can you curse less
or like we've had before.
We say, no.
No.
Here's what we can do for you. We can do our show and you can either sponsor it or you can eat dicks
those are your fucking options don't care what you say don't care what you think because what
we care about is the people who are listening number one because the that they're the listeners
so they're what's important and number two they're donating money to us too so you can't even say
well we pay your bills no you don you don't, motherfuckers.
Our listeners pay our bills.
Anything else?
I wish we had the money to hire Eddie Murphy to be our spokesperson.
Yes.
And when they say things like that, could you curse less?
Just hand the phone to him and go, suck him, suck him, suck him, suck my dick, suck my dick.
Have a coke and a smile.
Shut the fuck up.
That's what he said.
He said, suck it, suck it, take it all down your throat and suck it.
Take it deep down your mouth and suck it.
Suck it, suck it.
God damn it.
He said, stick it down your mouth and suck it.
Right, that's what I want.
That's what I want them to do.
That's what it is.
So we get to say that to sponsors or networks or anybody that has any word to say about the show.
We don't have to listen to them because we're beholden to you guys because you guys do all this shit for us.
So thank you.
Thank you so much.
And what if somebody wanted
to be beholden to you, Jimmy?
How could they find you
to get that status?
You could find me at
at Wisman sucks.
W-H-I-S-M-A-N sucks
on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat.
And I appreciate you guys being around
and sending me all the fucking bananas.
Dude, the Jacob from from the
what is it, Louisville?
Was it Louisville?
I think so.
I don't know.
It's a fucking zoo.
Yeah.
And he sent the fucking coolest gifts.
That's so cool.
Yeah.
They're amazing.
And the snaps that he sent me are insane.
Gifts are dope.
The guys, thank you guys for everything you sent.
It's amazing.
Thank you guys.
And if you want to get ahold of me, I'm at Jimmy P is funny.
You can find me there or just copy and paste from the show description.
Yeah.
And do it that way.
Don't try to spell it.
You will hurt yourself.
You're going to hurt your arm and your eyes. Everything's going to be messed up. You're going to be lim spell it. You will hurt yourself. You're going to hurt your arm and your eyes.
Everything's going to be messed up.
You're going to be limping.
You're going to be limping for a while.
You could break your third and fourth vertebrae in your neck.
It could happen.
That's happened many, many times like that.
But the next time, you'll do it faster.
You'll do it faster.
So follow us.
Do that.
Keep coming back each and every week.
And we will.
We will definitely be doing that live from the Crime and Sports studios.
We will see you next week.
Bye.
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