Crime in Sports - #139 - Guns, Glory & Federal Court - The Eventfulness of Maurice Clarett
Episode Date: November 26, 2018This week, we look at a man who had the potential to be a legendary figure in his sport, but he was prevented from doing so. First, he was prevented by the NCAA, NFL, and the federal court sy...stem, then he was prevented by his own inexplicable actions. From robbery, to a crazy night with an arsenal in his car, and a stand off with police. It's a roller coaster ride of rooting for a guy, only to have him break your heart!!Challenge a major industry in court, carry all your guns when driving around near the home of a witness, set to testify against you, and when in doubt, always "Go Goosin'" with Maurice Clarett!!Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanDonate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.comGet all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.comGo to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!!Contact us on...twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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me murder throw pillow and i'm like okay well yeah this is great real quick visiting the the
people that were meeting that jesse hartman that it's unfair that that man gets to be that tall and handsome. It is fucking mind-blowing.
You're all very handsome.
Let's not single anybody out and make anyone else feel bad.
I assumed that he was just like the guy that the girl drug to the show.
Not drug, like...
Yeah.
But I just figured he tagged along.
Yeah.
He drug her to the show.
Yeah.
And he is insane.
He looks like a fucking European model, this son of a bitch.
It's funny to see the people and put faces to names.
And it's also, I've been told, I don't know, several hundred times,
wow, I thought you'd be much older.
That's pretty much what everybody, I thought you'd be like 60.
Your voice sounds, you sound older.
I heard probably a handful of times, I thought you'd be like 60 your voice sounds you sound older i heard i heard probably a handful of times i thought you'd be smaller i thought you'd be smaller which felt
it's better than i thought you'd be taller which is the roadhouse patrick swayze problem all right
let's get down to business okay because this is a thick one yeah there's some episodes it's weird
there's some episodes that are little tiny stories that i have to try to you know make into a big
thing and try to just to magnify everything so we can really see what's going on and sometimes
there's huge stories that in one podcast like we have to try to boil it down to make it a little
small and not even condense it just make try to focus in on what's important and uh because you
could focus in some of these stories that are huge you can focus in on a lot of different things
in them and uh you could get carried away on that for a whole episode be five hours into this thing
exactly there's this guy here there's documentaries about certain aspects of him that are whole hour
and a half documents it's uh let's get to it it's maurice claret oh yeah you know maurice claret
everyone this is one of our very very requested uh episodes it's's there's a there's a good probably 50 people out there that are heavy, heavy requested
episodes.
We've done a bunch of them and there's a bunch still on the table.
You're Lawrence Taylor's and your war machines and your Chris Benoit.
Everybody wants us to do Hernandez.
And it'll all happen.
Trust me, because it's like crime and sports.
It's contractually obligated.
It'll all happen, trust me, because it's like crime and sports.
It's contractually obligated.
So next year, we have to put out 52 episodes as per the letter of a contract we just signed.
So we'll get to everything.
Don't you worry about that.
And don't get mad, by the way, the end of the year here, we took a week off for the holidays.
Don't get upset.
That prolongs crime and sports.
Go, okay, that's another week.
I'll have it later on. because there's a finite number of
criminal athletes and you know we're not there yet but there's eventually we're gonna run out so
be happy this is uh this is one of the fun ones though okay a shame and it's a guy i want to be
on his side so bad i mean college you did everybody was backing and i wanted to be on his side and i
found i i i did this one because i accidentally stumbled upon a lot of information upon him.
It's very inside that I didn't know at all.
It's new?
It's the last few years.
One of his agents wrote a book, and it's a tell-all book about just sports.
And there's a whole chapter on Maurice and absolutely just puts everything into perspective.
Really?
Your agent is not the guy you want to turn on.
Your agent knows where the bodies are want to turn on. No.
Your agent knows where the bodies are buried and shit like that when you're an athlete.
See, we have no skeletons, though.
It's nice.
We don't give a fuck what you say.
Y'all know everything about me.
Anything we've said to anyone, you can say publicly.
We don't care.
But if you're an athlete, you have a lot of things like, hey, there's this girl over here.
I got pregnant.
She's not quite 18.
Oh, Jesus.
This guy. But I mean, not that didn't happen here but that your agent knew that shit and
stuff like that so we'll get to all that but so i found this information i was reading this book
that had nothing to do with maurice claret that i thought of just this crooked agent kind of deal
and then there's this chapter and i'm like oh man i gotta. We need Maurice Claret, basically. He's on the team. Maurice Edward Claret here.
Asshole or idiot, if we play that game.
Asshole or idiot.
He's a hybrid.
He's a good balance.
He's a 50-50 Indica Sativa.
Asshole idiot, I would say at this point in time.
It's hard to say.
We'll see.
We'll talk about it.
He's born October 29th, 1983.
He's still much younger than he seems.
He's been around in the news for so long.
Fuck, at least 15 years, right?
You think of him, yeah, you think of longer than that.
You think of him as an older guy, but he's really, he's only 35.
There's guys, Frank Gore is playing in the fucking league right now.
35, 36?
I think so.
He's there.
Playing the same position, you know, marching up the all-time rushing leaders chart while playing in the fucking league right now. 35 and 36? I think so. He's there.
Playing the same position,
marching up the all-time rushing leaders chart while this guy is not doing that.
Luckily, he's doing better shit nowadays,
but he's born, he's from Ohio.
He's at Youngstown.
They talk about a lot.
There's the 30 for 30 documentary,
Youngstown Boys,
which if you want to know all about,
we'll talk a lot about, not a lot,
but we'll talk some about the whole Ohio State controversy with him and the coach and all
that shit with taking money and all that garbage.
We'll talk about that, but we'll keep it pretty brief on that subject because go watch 30
for 30 Youngstown Boys if you want to hear that.
Who else is part of that?
Jim Trestle, the coach.
They talk about because he's from Youngstown too. Oh, is he really?
Yeah, that's the Youngstown Boys. It's kind
of the relationship between Claret and Jim Trestle
who is the ultimate
silver-haired middle-aged white man.
He would be on
the $1 bill of silver-haired middle-aged
white men, this fucking guy. It's amazing.
Ohio State's a crooked-ass
place in the first place.
Every college program is crooked as fuck.
They all look great until it's exposed, and they're like, oh, my goodness.
We had no idea.
Glad no one else is doing that, and everyone's doing the exact same shit.
Especially the biggest one.
Yeah, and I will keep my I hate the NCAA rants to a minimum.
A minimum. I'm not going to promise they won't be the NCAA rants to a minimum. A minimum.
I'm not going to promise they won't be there at all, but a minimum.
So Maurice is from there.
His father leaves at an early age.
He doesn't remember.
He was a toddler when his dad left.
So that's kind of a thing that sticks with him.
And his only way he seems to relate to the world in the first basically 30 years of his life is through football.
There's no other way to.
Everything he talks about is in terms of, yeah, when I was a kid, like, what were you doing when you were nine?
Well, I was playing this and this and this.
Not like me and my mom lived here.
Like, it's everything that seems to be through the prism of football which is uh kind of why there's a problem
here it's kind of weird uh did he play running back his whole life because he's a big fucking
he's a big guy he's a yeah he he gets and he gets obviously much bigger at inopportune times and
we'll talk about that he says he started playing football in 89, so he's six years old. He said he played on a little league team called the Little Braves, whatever.
He says that, fittingly enough, the team's colors were orange and blue.
Oh, is that right?
Fitting enough for the future, colors that he'd wear very excessively briefly.
We'll talk about that and make fun of Jimmy for his team.
He said he played strong safety as a little kid uh he doesn't remember a lot about
that he just remembers the coaches were yelling at him and he liked to hit and be hit and he
thought that was fun and he thought football was a good time how terrified would you be if your kid
just loved being hit they some kids like it they like the contact stand that that's a problem that's
a that's an issue that's a no shit it's very rare those kids turn out to be great kids.
Well, you might end up with Reggie White.
You never know.
Or JJ White.
Or you might end up with Lawrence Taylor.
You never know.
Or Maurice Claret.
Maurice Claret here.
He said he never, all through youth football,
he played safety, linebacker, nose tackle, tight end, and fullback, but never played running back.
Because the way he put it, quote, I was a fat kid who loved to eat.
So he was a fat kid.
He was a blocker and a tackler, and he wasn't the fastest kid out there.
But he said as he thinned out a little bit, then he started playing running back.
And he said that's kind of when he got a taste for that.
He played all the
other positions so that was a good you know good experience for him to know what the other things
are uh and when you do it well you're the fucking star you know yeah you're carrying the ball that
probably felt good too oh shit and when i was blocking nobody cared that's the guy that touches
the ball the most in the game oh man you break an 80 yard run that's a highlight i mean that's
big stuff here uh yeah
he said junior high was when he first was a running back uh he said he just there wasn't enough guys
to practice in all the positions so he asked the coach asked him to fill in one day in practice and
he was pretty good at it he would run over people and yeah if you watch maurice claret in the one
year that you only had an opportunity to watch him in uh as we'll get to spoiler alert
things didn't work out in football uh he was fucking incredible absolutely incredible i mean
uh explosive was he's just really explosive just his legs were he would just burst he was so
and big and knock you over and uh really really really good running back anyway uh he said he had
he played running back in junior high,
and that's all he ever wanted to do from then on was play running back.
He wanted to knock people over and run them over and score touchdowns.
He also had some trouble.
He said at the end of eighth grade he was arrested a few times.
Oh, boy.
Not good.
He was arrested.
He was about to be sent away for a year on a breaking and entering charge.
He's already got B&E.
Oh, at 14.
Wow.
Yeah, he's already got B&E,
they're about to be fucking shipped off.
And how does, I didn't know that already.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
That's intense.
He had problems as a child.
This is, there were warning signs
that he might have issues.
And it's because he says
that he hangs around with dipshits.
And that's kind of his theme through his whole, even though everything he gets, it's because he says that he hangs around with dipshits yeah and that's kind of his theme through his whole even though everything he gets weird everything he gets legally in trouble
for has nothing to do with anybody yeah he's all alone it's always him all alone by himself not
another soul involved it's not him and three guys fight a guy at the club and fucking crack his
skull open or something like we've seen a hundred times on crime and sports it's him breaking into
a neighbor's house him doing weird well no not quite but it's actually
worse than that it's actually worse than break it's actually worse than ryan leaf and then later
on too when he's in the car it's a crazy story but i mean this the b and e yeah this might have
been maybe this was with kids he says here uh he says that he was looking for the respect of the
older kids in the neighborhood as people do. He
said that him and the other kids picked out a
house in the neighborhood that they thought had the most
money. We think they have the
most money. As a teenager,
how do you... Well-potted plants
outside. I don't know how you decide that.
Best manicured grass. A car, maybe.
Well, if they did that shit at my house,
because we had... Our cars were always clean.
They weren't nice cars. They were pieces of shit. Yes, I mean, that shit at my house. I don't know. Our cars were always clean. They weren't nice cars.
They were pieces of shit.
Yes, I mean, they'd surpass you and be like, who's that?
And our grass was beautiful.
Well, then maybe you're the target.
You break into our house, you're getting a coffee can full of pennies.
That's all we had.
I thought you were going to hit them with a coffee can full of pennies.
No, no, no.
That's the Helms defense.
That's all that was sitting on the mantle.
You keep that next to your nightstand.
Someone comes through the door, you just tuck it at them that'll fuck somebody up it was a coffee can in like a
knitted uh doily that covered it yeah it looked like a christmas house that was up all year long
and it was full of pennies in yeah right yeah my stepfather put pennies in oh and then what
happened what do you cash him in what was his buy i'll bet they're still there oh okay i was gonna
say what was his big get at the end of that?
Nothing.
We have nothing.
Oh, that's fucking sad.
I was going to figure he bought himself something.
Nothing.
A TV, a few cases of beer.
A 10-pound jar of coffee will hold, what, $30 in pennies?
Pennies, yeah.
No silver?
Very little.
Yeah, get the fuck out of here.
No one wants that.
Just throw that thing in the garbage.
Throw it in the garbage every six months.
That's it.
It's not worth the rolling.
It's not worth the rolling.
The Coinstar didn't exist then, so that's what you had to do.
And then write the amount and account number on the side of the thing.
That's what happened.
And the bank people never trusted you.
They didn't want that shit.
You always break them open and count them.
Yeah, like, gee, thanks.
That's just what we want here at the bank.
A whole dollar.
Fucking 8,000 pennies. Appreciate it just what we want here at the bank. A whole dollar.
Fucking 8,000 pennies.
Appreciate it,
buddy.
20 pounds of pennies. Here.
That'll give you $11.
No,
I wanted to take my time up with you with these pennies rather than the customers who want to conduct business with actual money behind you.
And now you know why we left it in the coffee can.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Take your coffee can.
I'm surprised they didn't just flick a couple 20s at him like Sonny Corleone after he broke the reporter's camera the fbi guys can't fuck out of here like
a couple 20s adam get the hell out of here with your goddamn pen take your pennies with you
we'll take a 40 loss we don't care count that shit the the time it'll take us to deal with you
is not worth the time that we're going to lose other customers exactly so that's how i would deal with people at a bank and that's why nobody ever broke into our house that's smart
so this house though they picked this house uh they didn't find pennies instead they found that
the owner of the house was home oh boy uh so shit didn't go well uh that was a shock now he's 13
years old he jumps out of a uh second story window head first and splits his head open.
And he ends up getting 13 stitches, which is actually something that it sticks out because
that is his running back.
That's his number.
That's his number.
That's his number.
He wore number 13.
He wore number 13 because of the 13 stitches in his head.
Hilarious.
So yeah, that's the 13 comes up a lot.
And that's the reason why he wore 13 was because
of stitches any idea why he has such a bad fucking career with the number 13 looming over his head
what a dipshit this story is just it's it's kind of a it's the crime and sports like archetype
story it's uh all the promise in the world not just the promise though he could have he could
have hung on as a second stringer for five years and then had a dry cleaning business where people knew his name.
He could have been a star.
He could have been huge.
Completely fucks it up of his own accord.
Does completely idiotic things.
Says he's fine.
Does more shit wrong.
It's so the fucking quintessential crime and sports story.
I can't even get over it.
It's that ridiculous so
when you embrace 13 it's that's what happens which was always my number by the way in sports yes it
was absolutely it was it was as a kid in new york uh you couldn't get 23 because i wanted 23 but
that was mattingly and everybody we either wanted it because of mattingly or because of michael
jordan so you're not getting 20 fucking three and now lebron yeah so i would just take 13 because
nobody wanted it and i was also kind of chubby and the larger numbers in little league were the
bigger sizes so it was like well like 13 is an extra large i'm pretty fat and nobody wants it
so i guess i'll take it and then i'll try then i'll own it and be like, I only want 13. Who knows?
I don't know of any other player that does 13 as their thing.
I'm sure there is.
A-Rod wore 13 when he went to the Yankees.
I don't know anybody that really embraced it.
I'm trying to think of 13s. Anybody that started from college.
There's a lot of 13s out there.
I'm sure there is.
I just can't think of anybody that really embraced it.
Think of a great quarterback-wise or something.
There's not a ton of 13s running around out there.
There's a lot of 11s, 7s, 10s.
7s, 10s, 11s are obviously your most popular.
A couple of 8s, but it's a rounded number.
It doesn't work.
Montana was 8, wasn't he?
Yeah, he was 16, so you get higher.
Steve Young was 8.
Right, there you go.
Dan Marino was 13.
There's one.
There's one.
We got one.
He never won a Super Bowl.
So what does that tell you?
Probably the greatest passer in the history of the NFL.
He never won a Super Bowl.
Shouldn't have won 13, you dipshit.
He could have his legs broken and still throw for 4,000 yards and 30 touchdowns.
It doesn't matter.
He could be standing there double cast and just fucking gunning shit.
He was awesome.
With no payoff. No payoff no payoff nothing because he
played for the dolphins so it's the turquoise and white uniform it's never gonna pay off
so uh uh he ends up saying that he ends up getting locked up for that for the house thing you know
because they had to take him to the hospital and he's the kid who fell out the goddamn window
uh he ended up going to the juvenile justice Center and he said an officer in the facility was a high school coach.
And he said this person changed his life and, you know, told him to focus on football.
And this fellow intervened with the judge and asked if the judge would put him on house arrest instead of sending him to juvenile hall.
And this high school coach said he would serve as his mentor
and be responsible for him to make sure that he didn't fuck up.
And, you know, he basically said, put him under my watch.
And I'll, you know, under my custody or whatever.
Not custody, but...
Like a ward of the state.
Kind of, yeah, I'm responsible for him.
And they knew him to be a responsible guy who coaches,
you know, he's a coach that's been coaching a long time
and that sort of shit.
So, yeah, condition of the agreement, he'd have to go and lift weights and attend the school where this guy coached.
So he saw a player, too.
So there's always a little silver in everybody.
There's always every bit of help.
They never help a kid who's not athletically gifted.
Like, I know he can't play, but I'm going to put him on the football team because he's a great kid.
I think I can drag him through school that way and I'll have a great future.
Only the kid who's really good does he somehow take a shine to which is suspect criminal blindside is what it is criminal blind
exactly exactly takes him out of the fun out of juvie sometimes it doesn't work out you guys
no and we'll this doesn't work out at all as we'll find out uh you i guess today it's okay
sort of for now yeah but we But we'll talk about it.
He said that the coach would pick him up or he would get a ride to his school.
He would work out with the guy.
The guy would talk to him about life.
And, you know, obviously he said he would talk about how, you know,
Maurice's talent could take him on a different path in life and all that sort of shit. He told him about not hanging around with dipshits, which he completely ignored, obviously.
But it stays in his mind for later so he could tell others.
But he said that he knew that a bunch of guys where he's from are caught up in the streets and blah, blah, blah.
And all that sort of shit.
But Maurice ignored it.
He had to because he's a dipshit, as we'll find out.
Because he knows better.
He knows much better, as we'll find out.
He always knows better.
Always.
He went to austin
town fitch first high school he said it was a predominantly white school which he said was
different for him and was a little bit weird for him uh he said he'd always been a majority black
schools up till that point so that was changed that was that was weird this is still in ohio
though this is in ohio yeah it's just a different uh school and he said like you know the kids made
more had more money and he said he just kind of felt a little bit just a little
bit out of place nobody outright made him feel that way he just said he just didn't feel like
he fit in here which totally understandable feeling yeah yeah exactly uh yeah i went to a
school in phoenix when my mom lived here for like a month and a half before i moved back to new york
and it was the weirdest place with all rich kids.
It wasn't normal.
I went to a ghetto-ass school in central Phoenix.
And then my mom moved me up to a school in north Phoenix.
And that changed from getting my ass kicked all the time to seeing kids in Tommy Hilfiger shirts that were real Tommy.
Like, they wore Bugle Boy down there.
And now they've got real Tommy Hilfiger shirts up here. And I was like was like it was bananas it was very weird to see a kid in an 80 shirt like
wow that shirt is wow i don't have you fantasizing about wow i wish i had somebody bought me an 80
shirt 80 dollars worth of clothes i did i i i remember seeing kids just being like damn yeah
i remember seeing like uh and i had to stop myself i almost i almost
bought a pair of jordans that i wanted when i was the seventh grade like a month ago and i'm like i
only want these because i wanted them in the seventh grade and i couldn't have them that's
the only reason i want these now i'm not gonna buy these that's that's it because i can fucking
no i'm not doing it so i didn't buy them i was wearing like a a jean wrangler jacket with like
that wool fur on the collar that's a solid look that's
what i wore to school that's a good look because you can turn that collar up when it's cold and
get that fur on the ears in arizona in arizona and it's nice it's nice really really get the
sweat going that's what you're trying to do you're trying to work off those pounds jimmy
those unwanted childhood pounds he uh he goes to warren. Harding High after that, where he says that's where he really came into himself.
And some other NFL players went there.
Mario Manningham, the wide receiver, played for the Giants for a while.
I think the 49ers, I want to say, also.
Did he leave the NFL already?
Probably, right?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, yeah.
Last year was 2014 for him.
Jeez, that's four years ago.
Dan Heron, who played for the Bengals.
Tight end?
He's a running back.
Bengals, Colts, and Bills.
Nailed it.
For like three years.
Nailed it.
Perfect.
Got it.
I see the name on the jersey.
David Heron, which was a linebacker.
Maybe that's his brother.
I'm not sure.
Played for three years.
Corey Stringer, the tackle who died.
He died on the practice field in training camp.
Big offensive lineman, had a heart thing and collapsed for the Vikings in 2000.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I do remember that.
Yeah, in 2000 he went there.
It was like they were working out in August and it was super fucking hot.
Yeah, he's a 330-pounder and he dropped.
Joey Browner, who was a safety, I believe, for the Vikings.
I think he's a Hall of Famer possibly also.
Then a lot of old guys.
Paul Warfield, who's a really – he's a Hall of Famer.
Huge wide receiver for the Dolphins during their heyday
and when they were perfect seasons and all that shit.
And also John Chikorneo, which is my favorite name ever.
John Chikorneo. is my favorite name ever john chicorneo no idea i love it he played
for the giants for one year in 1942 john chicorneo but he gets his name in there hey johnny chicks
how you doing that's what the guys called him johnny chicks he's here hey he didn't care so
much about football but his hair was fucking perfect amazing his tie was always knotted right
only played one year but the chicks
he brought around i'll tell you what so uh he quit playing because that helmet really fucked up his
hair oh yeah he didn't like it he's like i don't like it running back guy's hitting me gonna mess
my this is before face mask he's like gonna mess my nose up i never had it broken it's a pretty
nose i got uh there let me tell you about the waves I put in my eyes.
It's fucking beautiful.
I got real cream all in my helmet.
It's not working out.
So Johnny Chicks, he retired.
Chick or nay?
Chick or nay-o.
Chick or nay-o.
He retired in 42.
He's like, I could go to war.
I could keep playing football.
I'm Johnny Chicks.
And then he opened a bar under an overpass somewhere.
Johnny Chicks house. then he opened a bar under an overpass somewhere. Johnny Chicks house.
And he came over.
So Ohio State, he has a connection with, Maurice does, not John Chickernaum.
I don't know where he went to school.
But he has a connection right away with Claret early.
He saw Jim Trestle, the coach of Ohio State, and who coached them to much glory and also much embarrassment later on.
Once it came out.
Yeah.
He said he saw he was going to see his nephew play, and Maurice was a freshman at this time.
Just happened to be on the team.
Yeah, he didn't know who the hell he was.
He said, quote, he was in ninth grade, and I was the coach at Youngstown State, and he he was from right here and i went over to watch him play against my nephew's team he had 240 something
yards that day and ran over my poor nephew i think he's still injured from a couple of those
collisions uh so that's that's that was his first impression of him was like holy shit this kid's 14
god damn he's got fresh stitches and he's still running people over yeah my nephew's gonna
have a permanent click in his ankle that's perfect that's good fucking cool yeah he's he he's never
gonna remember his grandkids names that's that's that's the level of that's what he's gonna get
to jim trezor got to watch the moment when all the lights went out and he's like it was worth it
it's worth it so we found maurice yeah yeah One guy said, who's a Youngstown guy, a football guy around there, said, quote, he gained 475 yards one game and scored nine touchdowns in a blizzard.
In a blizzard?
He's a mutter.
Holy shit.
In a blizzard.
So he's a big guy that ran people over and you couldn't tackle him in the snow, apparently.
All day.
Yeah.
In high school, he was absolutely ridiculous.
the snow apparently all day yeah he in high school he was absolutely ridiculous and by uh 2001 by you know before he's at the beginning of his senior season january of 2001 uh he commits to uh to
oh to play ohio to play football at ohio state so that's i think the end of his junior year before
his senior season uh he he commits to play football at ohio state so that's a big deal
uh he said that that took a lot of pressure off him for the senior season
because he didn't have to worry about recruiting and all that shit.
He said that he called them.
He said, I knew they'd be recruiting me since I'm a local guy and all that shit,
and I'm really good.
He said, so I just got it out of the way.
That's who I wanted to play for.
So I was just like, hey, this is Maurice.
I know you're going to be talking to me anyway, so what's up?
And he goes, they were like, okay, well, that's different.
Can you imagine?
We don't have to go kiss his ass.
We don't have to go talk to his mom.
We don't have to fucking bring him here and get him laid and fucking get him drunk.
And we don't have to do any of that shit.
He just wants to come here.
Yeah.
And they were like, okay.
Which, I mean, he was a huge star.
He was a star in Ohio.
And that's a local guy.
They love that shit there.
He's the original LeBron. He lebron before lebron and this is during the time when lebron was in high school
too they knew each other yeah they all really oh there's pictures of them in high school
together with other like all-star athletes and lebron's much taller than all of them but
it's lebron with his arm around barice claret and some other guy they're all fucking 17 years old
yeah they're all from same area so they all and They're all from same area. So they all,
and they're all huge stars.
So I'm sure they go to the same,
uh,
whatever fucking events they have where they kiss these kids asses and jerk
them off in the back room.
I'm sure they're all in the same events.
I think they've been jerked off by the same hands.
We had such different childhoods.
Me and these two guys.
Oh fuck me too.
Yeah.
Way different.
Wait,
no,
no, no one ever said you're guys. Oh, fuck. Me too. Yeah. Way different. No one ever said, you're special.
Everyone said, you're a problem.
You're going to be an issue for us.
If it was to keep that away from me more than let me see that.
Yeah, yeah.
That's exactly right.
Fucking bananas.
These people, just everyone wants a piece of them.
Oh, it would be so great.
Amazing.
Imagine what that would be like.
I couldn't handle it, though.
Sports prowess.
People sort of like us now, and I can just handle it now.
15 years ago, even.
Never mind when I was 16, I would not be able to handle that at all.
Even this amount.
Never mind their amount, which is more.
This amount, I wouldn't be able to handle.
My brain would have melted down.
I'm jerking off.
I can't fucking fathom.
Forget about it.
They didn't have to.
People just did it for them.
That's what I'm pointing.
The royal penis is clean, Your Highness.
I feel like that was said plenty.
My wrist could have used a break.
Oh, yeah.
They would have given you one.
So in December, he rushes for 10 yards a carry and scores 12.
This is at the end of the year.
His stats are 10 yards per carry in high school.
Unbelievable.
He averaged a first down.
He averaged a first down.
Why ever do anything else?
Why throw the ball?
Just keep running it, dude.
It doesn't matter.
If you stop him from behind the line, he'll get 20 next time.
So it doesn't matter.
10 yards and scores 22 touchdowns in the regular season for them.
He is Mr. Football Ohio, which is the touchdowns in the regular season for them he is mr football ohio
which is the best player in the state that year a usa today high school all-american and offensive
player of the year usa today high school offensive player of the year in the whole country yeah so
he is sitting on top of king shit mountain right now incredible thinking he is just fucking hot shit the amount of just
the future is amazing it's so bright you wake up every day and go binding can you can you can you
call what's gonna happen today because i can't is it something good yeah i know that he's just
zippity he's like he's just whistling zippity-doo now when he leaves the house the struggle of you
trying to i'm trying to laugh and whistle at the same time,
which, by the way, does not work.
You can't even...
You have to be totally serious when you whistle.
You have to get in like a...
I don't...
You motherfucker.
I still can't.
I'm still laughing.
But you have to be real serious.
Just be like, listen, motherfucker.
I got a bone to pick with you.
You're in trouble. laughing stop laughing i'm
gonna get it right i'm gonna do it i can't i can't do it i'm gonna fall on my chair i've never noticed
how serious you have to be to whistle before but but you really better be locked in, man.
You better be fucking locked into that shit.
Un-fucking-believable.
Oh, my God.
I almost popped a blood vessel laughing at the struggle to whistle.
Oh, Jesus.
Maurice Claret felt the same way because he was smiling so much.
He couldn't even whistle zippity-doo-dah.
On his way to the shower every morning.
I wish I could whistle, but I'm so excited about what today might hold.
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
And he's going to Ohio State, which is a huge football program, number one.
It's one of the top in the nation.
No one there can whistle.
They're all excessively happy.
That's maybe the worst mascot of all football, though.
A Buckeye?
Even their guy.
They do get to put little weed leaves on their helmet, which I think is amusing.
As a kid, I was always like, do they put weed leaves on their helmets?
That's cool.
But a Buckeye is like a fruit of a tree.
It's a nutsack.
It's the dumbest fucking thing.
It's a tree scrotum. Yeah, it's a tree scrotum.
Yeah, the Ohio State tree scrotums.
Sorry, the Ohio State tree scrotums.
We apologize.
Don't be distracted.
I'm still laughing from whistling, man.
I can't get my shit together tonight.
Oh, Jesus.
James can't whistle, but he can damn sure put down your football program's mask.
You got that right.
Throw it at me.
I'll put it down.
That's my specialty.
Anybody in the country.
What do you got?
It's just the dumbest mascot.
It's stupid. So he's a nutsack which
is nice he's a tree scrotum which is he's very proud uh he gets there in 2002 uh he said that
trestle jim trestle the coach uh called him into his office and he listed 13 challenges that he
said maurice would face in the coming months uh he said he chose the number 13 because that's what
claret's jersey number was.
And little did he know also the number of staples he got in his fucking head.
But he's worn that number since then.
So he thought he thought that would stick with Maurice because he apparently thinks
Maurice is so fucking stupid that he won't remember how many things that he needs to
look out for unless it matches the large white numbers on his chest written on his fucking
chest,
which Maurice is not a dumb guy.
That's the other thing.
He's not stupid at all.
Really?
No, he's not.
He's a fucking idiot, but he's not stupid.
Like he's intelligent.
He's just a his judgment is terrible.
Absolutely.
He's and he is guided by others very easily.
He's very easily influenced by other people, as we'll find out, too.
And it makes sense after college.
We'll talk about it.
But he.
Yeah.
So what ends up happening here?
Maurice says, quote, He told me to expect new friends to come around.
He said popularity would come.
Increased attention from the media.
And Trestle said that Maurice blew all of these things off.
He said, quote, A year or so later, he's in my office again,
and every one of those 13 things had happened to him.
So I was right, you were wrong.
Let's talk about what a moron you are.
I'd love to sit down with Trestle and hear all 13.
I want to hear it.
See, I was mad that I couldn't find the list.
I actually was looking for the 13 things, and no one actually.
Just by the fact you didn't rattle them off right now.
I knew that it was too far. It's deep deep trestle is keeping that in a pants pocket somewhere and not telling
anybody that's his he gives it to everybody he's got like 15 and he just you know parses it out
anybody over number 15 i just don't i don't bother depending on their character yeah
listen i've got 74 points of action for you to take. I was a coach, man.
That's a little much.
That's a lot.
Yeah, that's it.
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So Maurice said, quote, he saw it all coming,
which I'm sure he's seen it before, Jim Trestle. August 20, 2002, he saw it all coming, which I'm sure he's seen it before.
Jim Trestle, August 20th, 2002.
He's a freshman. Now, a lot of guys, most of the time they redshirt their freshman year.
They don't even fucking play.
They're not even they're not even playing.
They're just it won't happen at all.
They're just sitting out the whole year.
Instead, on August 20th, this is preseason.
He is listed as the starting halfback, starting running back, which is insane.
Right now.
Right now.
It's the first time that a freshman has opened his starter at the position at Ohio State since 1943, since World War II.
And that's probably why, because the seniors went to fight the Japanese and Nazis.
That's how fucking long ago this was.
They needed a freshman.
Yeah, they needed a freshman because they were like, well, I don't know,
I'll get him a year of eligibility
in before we send him off to the Pacific Theater.
So there was U-boats
on Earth and that was what we were worried
about last time. Yeah, the last time this happened.
Yeah, exactly. We were
building up our attack.
So this is fucking crazy.
In his first game, too, he makes
Trestle look smart because he has 175 yards and three touchdowns against Texas Tech in his first game.
Holy shit.
So, I mean, he is goddamn barely 19 years old at this point.
I'd like to know how many running backs since that day have done that.
Yeah.
That's how hard that shit is to do.
Yeah, especially against the Texas Tech is a decent program.
He didn't do it against some shit, you know, third-rate, second-division 2A team.
And then a few weeks later here, he has 230 yards and two touchdowns against Washington State,
which is another decent program, unless you count Ryan Leaf being there, but that's another story.
That's another story that we happen to cover.
I think it's episode 13 or 14 of Crime and Sports,
so check that out.
Well, it was a good team, though.
They've had a program for a long time.
Yeah, they're a real team.
They're a Division I team here,
and that's the first of a five-game streak he has
with five games that has 100 yards rushing.
Unbelievable.
So as a freshman, that's absolutely bonkers.
I mean, that's wild.
You can't ask for more than that.
I think that's when I found out about him.
Yeah, he blew up.
A freshman is doing this.
This was a huge national story that a freshman was a freshman.
Running backs don't do this.
This is weird.
He says, looking back, the beginning of the end was my first college game.
It was my most proud and coolest moment.
That's when I think everything started because he felt good about himself and everybody's
been telling him how great he is.
And now he's at Ohio State and people like outside of his, the locals are telling him
that there's national media there.
People have no idea about anything about him other than what they've seen.
They don't know.
He fell out of a window running from the owner of a house.
He was where they don't know any of this shit.
They just go, why are you so great?
And he goes, I guess I'm great.
I fucked.
Everybody says I'm so great.
And I could see as a 19 year old kid being thrust into the national spotlight and everybody
goes, you're so great.
How'd you do it?
And you go, I must be fucking.
I must be brilliant.
Great. Athletic. I must be gifted and perfect that's the only everything they tell me i am i am see i can whistle even i'm a fucking i've got it down now i'm not i'm focused is what
i'm telling you you get what i'm saying i feel it right now so uh october of 2002 things slow down a little bit uh when he gets a he's
injures his left shoulder and misses two games uh with an injury here uh he says at this point
he received a lot of hate mail from ohio state fans how fast they turn yes well well this was
because uh he had said they interviewed him in
ESPN, the magazine, and they said, so you're doing so well as a freshman in your first few games,
you have all these yards. You know, are you going to play for four years or are you going to be
ready for the NFL? You know, you're going to come out early like a lot of people do. And he said,
he said, well, you know, maybe I'll come out or who knows, we'll see what happens and blah, blah,
blah. So Ohio State fans were like, fuck this this guy and we're sending him hate mail over it and then he hurts
himself and like oh you fucking lazy bastard and you want to come out early and football right you
deal with what you get yeah college football fans you people are monsters i'm sorry i don't care
i would these fucking people they do not care what is in the way of their team winning a game against a bunch of other teenagers.
I don't understand what your obsession is with it.
It's not fucking healthy, and it's creepy.
I just want to tell you that right now.
Well, I think it's generally surrounded around they know that these people are leaving soon.
And if the team's good at the moment.
Be happy for them.
If they gave you.
That's what you're supposed to do.
That's what decent people do.
Even if he played for two games, if that gave you some joy,
and then he goes on to, now he can support us.
But be fucking happy for him.
What is wrong with people?
But because you sat in the same history building, you're furious.
Most of the people didn't even go to the fucking conference.
They're from that area. I live an hour away away and that's what's on television on saturdays so fuck him
like what the fuck does that have to do with him crazy people asu fans to their credit they could
give a fuck about that team's never been good enough to care about so they're like and the one
time they are in 1996 and everybody like gets behind them and then they lose and then everybody's like, eh, fuck it.
Oh, well, whatever.
They never do it again.
So like, whatever, fine.
It doesn't matter.
So December of 2002, he publicly blasts the Ohio State officials here, the athletic department, for not letting him fly home for the funeral of a friend of his.
department for not letting him fly home for the funeral of a friend of his uh he accuses the university administ administrators of lying when he when they say publicly that he didn't file the
paperwork necessary for emergency financial aid for the flight because there's certain there's
certain holes in in the ncaa where like you know if somebody dies they can fucking yeah but you
know whatever they could get you a suit or some shit or they could send you home travel allowances for shit.
I don't know what the fuck.
That's a fucked up rule.
The only way we can help you is if somebody other than that, you're on your own.
We're sorry.
You can get money from other people.
But if we catch you, then we're going to just lambaste you publicly.
It's going to be banana.
Call you the worst person in the world.
Call you a criminal, essentially, because you took money for work.
We'll get into this.
Best of luck getting a professional career after'll get into this that's a lot getting a
professional career after this yeah that's everyone should be thanking his lucky stars
that he has a career he was so good they were like who cares he's a quarterback and he's good
there's no quarterbacks i don't care he's tall and he's black whatever look at him he throws he
runs he's fantastic a running back they don't they're like there's a bunch of other running
backs well a quarterback they're like well there's only a couple of them. So what is it, a rape charge?
Now, is this a hard rape?
What are we talking?
How hard?
How was it?
Let's be real.
Come on.
Wink, wink, nod, nod.
We're all guys here.
How many days was she sore?
That's what I feel like they do, though.
That's the disturbing part.
Now, Maurice says, quote.
There's 32 football teams and maybe 24 of them have a good quarterback.
That's it.
Yeah.
Shit.
A mediocre one. and that is being so
generous there's like eight good quarterbacks like six decent quarterbacks and a bunch of
second string quarterbacks that's what's playing right now in the nfl it's fucking pathetic a
travesty that's why the nfl is a little weak at the moment i would say and no wonder they want
to protect that guy because there aren't many there's no yeah they're like if he gets hurt
now what then, now what?
Then what?
Now what are we going to do?
No one cares about the guy behind him.
He can't punt all four downs.
No, Jesus.
All four downs.
That's awesome.
Punting all four downs.
First and ten, what do we do?
Punt team.
Let's go.
Punt team.
Get in there.
So Maurice says, quote, when I was in college, I was just confused.
I had no idea what to do.
I was in a place where I had to make decisions that would basically affect the rest of my
life, and I was making them all based on emotions.
That makes sense.
I totally get you right there.
He says this later, obviously, when he's got some clarity.
But that's true, I think, and good.
But on the field, there's no confusion.
And there's no confusion for Ohio State.
They roll through this season.
They are crushing people.
They have a 14-0 record that year in the end.
Absolutely crushed people, 8-0 in the conference, obviously.
The whole thing here.
People ate no in the conference, obviously.
The whole thing here.
He said on the field that doing well, the more better he did, the more money he would get from boosters and shit.
We'll talk about exactly how that worked in a minute here.
He said that also made him drink and do drugs and have sex and all that sort of shit.
I got it.
You know, he's like, well, it's all here.
He said his coach was Trestle was warning him about, you know, you know i've seen this before dude you're getting famous and everybody wants a piece
of you be careful and uh he says he remembered thinking quote coach we're still winning i don't
need to slow down i'm fucking i'm fucking cool yeah which is a bad way to go about it unless
you're like literally there's like five guys who have overcome that with pure talent and drive.
They're just so driven on the field.
Like LT.
Lawrence Taylor could be the worst crackhead maniac off the field.
Once he got on the field, he's the greatest player that there is, and it doesn't matter.
Breaking legs.
Doesn't fucking matter.
He's the most focused.
That's all he cares about.
And then crack, crack, crack, crack, crack.
Later.
But that's later.
Most people can't do that
they can't compartmentalize those two things i'm still i don't know if you saw it the other day uh
the the quarterback for the uh for the alex smith yes alex the exact same day exact same injury
exact same team exact same position fucking mess and the same position redskins and everything yeah absolutely it's it's bonkers man
it's too much it's too much all the same is fucked up you get a quarterback you like redskins we're
gonna snap his fucking leg that's what the giants have told you at this point in time so be careful
crazy twice a year we play us so enjoy unbelievable so, yeah, they go all the way through to the Fiesta Bowl, which is the national championship that year in Phoenix at the Tempe Sun Devil Stadium.
I believe this is the game where Willis McGahee blows his knee out.
Am I wrong about that?
It was Miami.
Yeah, it was against Miami.
That was the game.
This poor bastard was a fucking top five pick running back for Miami,
and he was so good.
And halfway through the national championship game,
he fucking blows his ACL out and drops down to the end of the first round.
I mean, it cost him millions of dollars in one play.
He ended up playing for the Broncos, too.
Yeah, he ended up bouncing around and being a good running back,
but he was never the same guy that he was, and it was all that one.
And I remember going, that is so funny so he's sitting there going no i mean i guarantee you
he had a big insurance policy against that sort of thing because they fingers crossed everybody
they all the all those guys do that i mean do they fuck yeah i mean yeah if you're if you're
if you're projected to be a top three draft pick you have insurance you have an insurance policy
he was a good player still eventually. He was really good.
He could have been outstanding.
But yeah, that whole first year, he was out for most of the first year and whatever.
So fast.
But Maurice is a beast in that game.
In Ohio State, he scores the winning touchdown.
Also, Maurice does.
And they win 31-24 and win the national championship, which is huge for them also.
So he's a fucking hero there.
That season he plays in 11 games, 222 rushing attempts, 1,237 yards.
We'll talk about these.
That's a freshman record for yards for Ohio State.
5.6 per carry.
5.6 is a freshman.
Every two downs.
Bonkers.
Yeah, 16 touchdowns.
Also had 12 receptions for 104 yards
and two touchdowns uh a monster basically just uh big 10 freshman of the year freshman records
all around national champion grace this is grace right here this is definitely grace this is we'll
call it as we say this is a hard grace right here. This is a, wow, is it a brick wall?
This would be like when they launch a, like NASA launches a rocket into space.
You know, like the rockets and it fucking shoots off the ground.
If it's shooting off the ground and there was just a brick wall, you know, a mile up,
and it just shot right into it, just bow, and exploded into a million pieces.
It didn't just peter out and dive into the ocean. Just boom just hits a fucking wall of atmosphere worse than challenger worst oh makes challenger look like a pussy just makes challenger look like disney fuck that man like a pixar movie
it was a happy end yeah challenger a happy little teacher flying out of burning into the ocean sorry
that was mean okay everybody likes her what was her
name i don't know sally that's how much we sally ride sally was that her is it sally ride i don't
know that's a hell of a ride he rode into the ocean what a firebox is that was i don't know
if that's she was an astronaut that is a terrible fucking name that's that's not good
that's not good that is awful if that's true no that's that's that's bad shit
so maurice in college uh is doing what he calls switching cars like crazy now let's talk about
what they do in college a little bit here uh basically people lend you cars right uh you
don't get a car that's your car in your name dealerships that are friendly with the program
lend you cars that makes sense so you switch it
out every three weeks every month or so so nobody catches on to what's going on it's all a loaner
loan to the program and you're driving it so it's they loan it to some other booster or some shit
like that and you end up driving it there's no paperwork for you it's just so all these guys
are driving around in these hot ass cars and uh it's based on the fact that their coach is getting them a car uh
it's ridiculous he had a uh a 2001 uh he borrowed borrowed quote a car from the car store uh
in 2003 it was a 2001 money carlo loaded up with you know yeah all cooked up and shit yeah all nice
and uh uh it was just purchased at auction, and somehow he's got it.
He drove it to practice, and he said while he was working out,
somebody broke into the car and stole a bunch of shit.
He says he called Jim Trestle, saying, what do I do?
And they said to call the campus police.
And he called them from the football office, they said.
He meets a campus policeman.
They asked what was missing, and he told them that there was a quote assorted tvs what i have assorted tvs in my
car i don't know what that means okay radios plural plural radios uh cds because this is 2003
you have a fucking best buy in the trunk He basically had a mobile Best Buy that he was working out of.
What was he doing?
Plus his wallet and some clothes.
The cop asked how much the TVs and the radio were worth, and Claret says he could only guess because it was a borrowed car, so he didn't know, obviously.
A car he'd only had for 12 hours.
He's like, I don't know.
I just got this car.
He said that the cop also asked him how many CDs were in the car, and he guessed that there was two cases containing up to 300 cds the cop said uh that each cd assuming at the time cost 15 each and they
multiplied that all up and said that it was 800 cash a 5 000 in audio components 300 in clothing
uh 4 500 in cds wow you know at fucking retail cost if you took those to a place
and sold them they'll be like we'll give you $8
for all 300 of them
and a
black leather like a
attache type of thing
Oh okay gotcha. A man purse.
Yeah like a carrying
Yeah a briefcase. Kind of like a folding
briefcase. Total of
$10,150 in stolen items is what's listed here.
Now, let's go through some dates.
July 12, 2003, New York Times quotes a teaching assistant for Ohio State who says that Claret gets preferential treatment.
She says he walked out of a midterm exam in the middle of it but passed the class after the professor, quote, gave him an oral exam, which sounds really terrible.
Sounds dirty.
He passed it with oral, but it also sounds like it's full of shit and it could be easily doctored because nothing's written down.
He knew it.
He knew.
Of course he did.
We'll talk about what he knows.
July 29, 2003, Ohio State confirms the NCAA is investigating Maurice's claim about the $10,000 stolen from his car.
Yeah, he said he had borrowed it from a local dealership.
September 9th, 2003, he's charged with misdemeanor falsification for the police report of the theft.
Because the amounts in the thing stolen are less than what he says.
The charge carries a penalty ranging from probation to six months in jail and a $1,000
fine.
Now, he publicly says, quote, I genuinely and sincerely apologize to my teammates and
to the Ohio State University for any, you know, the tree scrotums, for any embarrassment
this incident may have caused.
He said he used the car to do a workout and he wasn't trying to hurt anybody.
One of the university people said, quote, Maurice did exaggerate and inflate the values he placed upon the reported items.
So, yeah, that that was the that was the property was never found.
And the police ended up closing the case in the end here.
He doesn't end up uh getting any
probation or anything like that they just go let's just say fuck it yeah you're not getting your
shit back we don't know how much it costs let's just this is weird but so so he inflated the
value i mean yeah he inflated the value of the doubt there too and just be like hey he doesn't
know it's not his stuff he said he was just with the cop and the cop goes, how many CDs?
About 15 bucks a piece.
Bang, bang, bang.
What does that cost?
Like he was doing like like prices, right?
Like quick retail value shit, like just slapping costs on you.
And then all of a sudden he gets a wah, wah, wah.
Yeah.
And then he's got to go to jail.
Yeah.
He wasn't he wasn't like, you know, going through receipts or anything. So, yeah.
The athletic director,y geiger announces
claret is suspended on september 10 2003 for the entire season for receiving special benefits
uh worth thousands of dollars from a family friend and repeatedly misleading ncaa investigators
that is through that car thing they trace that back a little bit uh this is annoying because it's not his fault no this this this oh
boy this i this is coming wait well it's good wait a second it's just annoying because it's
more than annoying he deserves it fucking criminal is what this is the man alone this is i i hate the
ncaa and football more than they're the most evil fucking they're the evil empire.
They're fucking Darth Vader.
They're awful. But the rules that they set up are structuring them to rules are just set up arbitrarily to benefit them.
Right.
But they're set up a guy that's working as hard as he's working, getting the accolades he's getting.
You think that you deserve more.
So you're just going to accept whatever people offer.
You fucking do deserve more if there are 50 if there's 70 000 people there and they're all fucking wearing
ohio state jerseys and they're cheering for me because i'm the star of the fucking team 13 jerseys
sold and i can't take my girlfriend out to the fucking movies unless it's some illegal thing
that i get fuck you fuck you you know what i? I'm doing this for you. All these people are here for me because they – but fuck you, man.
Nobody's showing up to see Jim Trestle coach.
That's the thing.
If none of us are here, none of us – we'll get to it in one second because there's more to this here.
So, yeah, the Ohio State suspends him.
Now, he says after he's suspended, Jim tressel has the balls to say quote i personally
think we want a lot more games without maurice than people give us credit for i definitely think
we can do it again i know we can this team is bigger than any one player so he's given that
now uh maurice says uh fuck this shit files a federal lawsuit against the nfl really against the nfl against the ncaa against all this whole
shit because uh they have a in 1992 the nfl or the ncaa set up rules and this is all finger
fucking with the nfl the nfl players association has no say in this whatsoever uh this is just the
ncaa set up rules to where you can't come out in football unless you are three years removed from high school.
You're not eligible for the NFL draft.
That's fucked up.
It's an arbitrary rule that means nothing.
All it is is we're going to squeeze this much life out of you and make this much money out of you
before you're allowed to go make a living on your own.
And I'm going to say this shit.
That's fucked up.
It's the most fucked up
and and i people get pissed off and and people make this they politicize this which is ridiculous
because i don't care which side you're on you you're both should be on his side first of all
if you're a conservative and you just don't like athletes doing what if you're a conservative all
that money uh this is the free market this you are supposed to like the free
market you don't get any more free market than a man who puts his wares for sale to the highest
bidder who then will pay him for them if there's people willing to pay a person for their services
no one should be allowed to say you're not allowed to do that because i'm still making money off of
you that's indentured servitude is what that is.
That's slavery.
And for that, you get room and board and you get to get an education.
Oh, boy.
It doesn't mean shit to you because you're trying to play football for a fucking living.
Thank you, sir.
May I have another?
It's ridiculous.
For sure.
And people go, oh, they get an education.
Yeah, that's great.
They get an education.
But if they're there for football and they're trying to move to the next level, they don't
give a fuck about that education.
And you don't make them concentrate on it.
You let them fucking float through the shit.
But then if they want to go make something for themselves, sorry, you can't do that.
It's absolutely asinine.
It's the most criminal shit ever.
And if you're a liberal person or if you're on the left, it's fucking racist as shit, too.
Because I'm serious.
It is. Football's a pretty fucking black sport. Sure fucking black sport in college football some of the lower level shit it's there's more white guys because that's
it's a lower level but ohio state's got a lot of fucking black guys on is what i'm getting at
there's a lot of black guys doing this shit and i don't care if the black guys white guys it's not
a matter of race it's a matter of what the fuck are we doing? We can't let people do this.
In baseball, in the NCAA, completely different.
In baseball, you can come out every year for the draft.
You don't have to come out.
You can be drafted.
You don't have to declare.
You're just drafted, and then you decide whether you want to go play for that team or stay in college.
So you can see, oh, I was drafted in the 10th round.
That's not good enough.
I'll try another year to get up the draft.
You can't do that in football.
Change sports even.
Do anything you want.
Absolutely.
You can play in baseball, though.
You can go back and forth.
Remember the Brian Taylor episode?
He was going to go to class.
That's what I mean.
You have all these options.
Whereas in football, once you hire an agent and once you fucking declare yourself for the draft, you can't play again.
You're done.
You can't change your mind because you've talked to an agent.
Oh, my God.
And the people who are pissed off at it, it's the agents that are doing it.
No.
Some guy who wants to get somebody what the fuck they deserve.
That's what they need.
These are children in a group, in a fucking children and young, young men in a world of ruthless billionaires and fucking
business people and athletic directors trying to keep their jobs and all these fucking people
in a sport that you're playing every day and every down that might every down might end
your fucking career any fucking second every time every second that's why he's doing what
he's doing absolutely right and and and your signing bonus is all the fuck you get and
you get every got players out there get every fucking dime you can.
Do it.
A few of you listen, and I get it.
We don't give a shit.
We're not going to fault you for it.
Not that you care what we think, and if any fans do, they're shit fans, and fuck them.
Get yours.
Take care of your goddamn family, because no one's going to care about you when your
fucking leg is hanging off.
Ask Doug, fucking the guy from the Seahawks.
God damn it it i was having
so much fun for a second fucking doug his dress ask doug go get it doug fucking doug knows doug
knows that it's too late because he fucking tore his knee up he knows it yeah so this happened in
92 that that i want to say his last name i can't pull it out it's fucking great i'm gonna leave
you we were doing great we were we were cruising we were doing way we were doing really well all right uh he files a
lawsuit basically saying that this is all horseshit and it's completely against america the constitution
uh everything that this country stands for and it's ridiculous how old is he at this point
19 20 20 just turned 20 i think 21 year old kid who's 20
who's passing on quote-unquote oral exams is now gonna i can quote well there's lawyers that have
been itching for this fight though there's lawyers that have been itching for this fight but normally
and this is the thing football is self-policing in this way yeah if you're 19 and you're not
physically ready to play football in the nfl you won't
fucking get drafted yeah period they'll look at you and that's what they say in this lawsuit they
say the combine process they go over you with a fine-tooth comb physically they test every
every measurable there is psychological exams interviews if they decide you're not physically
or mentally mature enough to play in the league no one's gonna fucking draft you so these people
they get agents ahead of time and they'll tell them hey look you're like a fucking six-round draft pick or something
you might want to go back to school they should be able to do that and anyway so wouldn't that be
great that's what i mean they should be able to get advice but to get advice you're automatically
disqualified but we find out and i find out from this book i read that uh that is complete horseshit
every one of these guys who's half decent has some agent talking to them from the time
they're freshmen.
It's not even a matter of they have they have they give them money.
They take care of it's not a lot of money like this guy was saying how they would do
it.
They would say like, you know, what do you need?
Basically, they would ask for a bunch of money and they'd say, you know, what do you need?
And the guy might say, I need 300 bucks for my rent.
I'm a little short.
And they give him 300
bucks and then he would you know little amounts of money and you know no big amounts because then
the guys would just walk away from you the athletes wouldn't go find some other sucker to
give them five grand and they should be doing that three-card marty because everyone is doing it to
that's their whole life is being drained of every life force they have so why the fuck not uh so yeah this whole thing uh the the uh the uh
ohio state uh uh committee by the way in december of 2003 they find no evidence to support allegations
of academic misconduct uh by any athletes including claret i love it which is we've we've
checked out our really done some digging we're pretty clean we're just gonna say that right now
we don't think we should we deserve to be in trouble.
Ohio State doing an internal investigation.
We'll handle this internally.
All the colleges do that because they seem to get less penalty if they bring out their own garbage and bring it to the NCAA.
But they were like, nope, all clear.
We've done a thorough investigation.
We're good.
Yeah.
Yeah, January 14, 2004, they had charged him with lying in a police report with the whole car stealing shit here. The way it gets dropped is he pleads guilty to lesser charge of failure to aid a law enforcement officer.
And it's like a maximum fine of $100, and then it clears off his record eventually. Failure to aid the law enforcement. Oh, aid a law enforcement officer and it's like a maximum fine of a hundred dollars and then
it clears off his record eventually failure to aid the aid a law it's just yeah whatever now uh
law enforcement officer can't press plus on his that's what i mean he didn't originally was lying
on a police report okay so this is a lesser this is like a light misdemeanor we'll say this is not
a hard misdemeanor that's a tough charge it's a hard misdemeanor. That's a tough charge.
It's a tough charge.
Now, February 5th, 2004, he is ruled eligible for the 2004 NFL draft by a U.S. district
judge in New York.
This is a big victory.
The NFL's heads fucking explode.
NCAA is like, oh, no, we need to fucking drain these children of all of their life force.
Oh, sc need to fucking drain these children of all of their life force. Right. Oh, scumbag. So problem is a federal appeal puts that on hold.
An appeal by the NFL puts that on hold.
So he files another emergency appeal.
And the NFL argues that it would be unfair to a team that picked Claret if he were later ruled ineligible.
That's what he said.
So he can't be in this draft because then if he's ruled ineligible for the draft it's like how about we just forget about who's fucking
ineligible and just draft him if you want to draft him you know in the free market because this is
america and all that's a good point why don't we just do that i understand what the what the what
the nfl is saying that what if later on something gets changed but why do they get to change it
right what do you care they get to say just go yeah he's in the league now we don't give a shit
what happened in college that's their problem not our problem fuck off college
yeah fuck you and but they're so they need the NCAA they need them and they that's their feeder
system they get free minor leagues this is in baseball they have to fucking set up all those
teams and pay for it and take buses all around the country yeah this is a free open minor league for you where they they get them up they get them all
polished they they preach that it's a pro style offense we'll get you ready for the nfl that's
all done for why isn't that more fucking popular thought why doesn't more people know that i don't
understand i don't know i don't know people because they like college football and they don't care
it's just they don't care their kids are playing for the love of the game no they're not no they're playing it like everybody else but they're not
gonna advance themselves they're not gonna stop it because people show up to see that's the thing to
see michigan versus michigan state nobody shows up to see the fucking uh uh the barn burner down
in fucking omaha of triple a baseball nobody cares nobody fuck you're absolutely right uh so may of 2004 the uh
the court of appeals finally formally rules against maurice claret meaning he will not be
eligible uh for a supplemental draft and will have to wait till the 2005 draft when he's three years
out of high school to enter so they're forcing him to they're forcing him to sit yeah he has to sit
so he sits out so a
running back sitting out could be good if he stays in shape because it keeps him healthy running backs
have a mileage they're like a bottom bitch yeah no they well they have they have an expiration date
they only have a certain amount of hits and runs in those legs but that's why you see running backs
retire at 29 you know they literally if you're running backs retire at 29. Literally, if you're a
running back, you've got to get yours because most guys don't play past 30 or they get a reduced
role or they're not a star past 30. There are very few Marshall Fox. That's the thing. Very
few Frank Gore's out there, like we said. Now, we'll talk a little bit about this book that his
agent wrote. It's a guy named Josh Fuchs, and he writes, what the hell is it called?
Illegal Procedure, I believe.
I've read it three times.
That sounds right.
Yeah.
That's a good pun.
It's interesting.
Josh Fuchs, F-U-C-H-S.
Look it up, because if you want to know how the NCAA, how the recruiting of football players
by agents of college football players and how that translates to the NFL
and how all that shit actually works, this book is fucking pretty good for it.
The wait is over.
So far, you're not losing.
The only thing you're losing is my patience.
Quickly, I see that.
Bing!
The queen of the courtroom is back.
I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth if it came up
and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
OK, so, um.
This is not a so.
This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
The Emmy Award-winning series returns.
How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head.
It's an all-new season.
It's streaming
you can say anything judy justice only on freebie
this guy talks about they he starts kind of goes with this new agency and uh him and this guy steve
feldman are representing.
They're handling Maurice, okay?
And they see him as a very talented guy, obviously.
And they're looking at it like if he stays in shape this whole year and he's going to be a fucking beast and we could have some real potential on our hands.
Sure.
So they go to meet him.
You like mortgages?
I love mortgages.
I love more when I can pay them.
I love when I pay my mortgage.
So let's talk to this guy, asshole or not.
So they go to meet Maurice, and Maurice is staying at what, this is amazing, by the way,
what a fluff piece will call on a friend's couch, okay?
Which sounds like somebody's got a two-bedroom condo, and they got a fold-out that they're letting you scratch on not even close they're
quiet when they're making breakfast in the morning because you had a late night yeah
don't fry the bacon keep it to lower temperature it pops real loud
see just keep it calm so we can whistle so instead whose fucking couch is this instead it is a uh seaside fucking giant sprawling mansion
not in ohio no no no no this is in california far far from ohio in la it is the house of an
israeli gangster what a name i think his name is hi wacom is his name hi uh wicom wacom uh Far, far from Ohio in L.A. It is the house of an Israeli gangster. What?
I think his name is High Wacom is his name.
Wicom, Wacom.
He's a fucking notorious Israeli.
What they call what the agents were calling everyone else.
He's staying with a friend who's a real estate developer.
Yeah.
He did develop some real estate.
I bet he did.
But he's also a fucking gangster.
They said that there was the agent said there was helicopters hovering over his house as
they were coming in.
A large armed man answered the fucking door.
What the fuck?
A huge six foot five, 400 pound guy with a gun in his front of his waistband answers
the door and brings him in there.
And Maurice is rubbing his eyes on the Ottoman?
And they're like, maurice is like they
don't even they can't get to maurice so like they they have to like go through they have to talk to
this high walkum lunatic yeah they have to they have all these crazy people around there's like
krav maga in the living room yeah no seriously dude this is he's fucking taking people down
choking them out it's crazy what's going on and like apparently maurice is staying with this guy now hi now they
basically have control over maurice's shit yeah basically they said hey you stay here whatever
we'll take care of you we'll pay for all your training because all the pre-draft pick combine
shit all that we'll pay for your training room and board hook you up you can drive a new bmw
get an xbox you can play madden on literally. That was one of the things he wanted. And they're going to take a piece of his contract
and they're going to tell the agents how to push him and they're going to be in control
of what goes on with this guy. Yeah, that's what I mean. This is what happens when you're
20 and you see a guy with a giant house that overlooks the ocean and you're like, well,
he must know what he's talking about. Whatever he says, that guy's got a gun. Sounds good.
he's talking about whatever he says that guy's got a gun yeah sounds good it's fucking insane so i guess that's a good point when i was 20 you could easily influence me by that's my friend he's
got a gun he's got especially he's got a huge house and he pays for a guy with a gun to hang
out with him that seems that seems legit. Yeah. This is right.
This is going down right here.
I can get it.
So in this book, he talks about how he was obsessed.
Maurice was obsessed with David Boston.
Do you remember David Boston, the Cardinals receiver, who was jacked up and muscular and got busted for HGH?
He was so jacked up and muscular and had DUIs and shit.
for hgh he was so jacked up and muscular and duis and shit yeah uh he was obsessed maurice was with how jack david boston was and wanted to work with the same guy that david boston worked with
and uh unfortunately that's the guy who was hooked up with all the hgh and i guess was a problem
so they were trying to get him to like they said he'd go do a workout and he was bench pressing
like a bastard and he was strong and he was big overweight and shit like that.
And but he would never run.
They're like, they never saw him run.
All he would do is jog.
He never did cardio.
They worked with him with an Olympic.
He would do like stairs and shit, but they worked with him with an Olympic sprinter to
see like and he wouldn't run.
He would just jog around the track like they were like, what the fuck is going on with
this guy?
Why won't he run?
They said, by the way
another story from the israeli house he goes over there they were telling him that he needs to do
this he needs to do that he needs to run in the sand he needs to work out he needs to be thinner
he needs to come into the combine uh lighter than he was last year he needs to run a better 40 than
he did last year you know he needs to he needs to make a spark and maurice didn't like the
direction of the conversation so he got up and he goes man i gotta go this is it's the sun's going
down and they're like well i don't understand and he goes man it's shabbat and he walks away
he's now jewish and steve feldman one of his eight turns and goes what the fuck it's a fucking
wednesday what the fuck is he talking about i don't think he's jewish i don't know what's And Steve Feldman, one of his turns and goes, it's a fucking Wednesday.
The fuck is he talking about?
I don't think he's Jewish.
I don't know what's happening.
It's 11 a.m.
A 20 year old black dude from Ohio just told us it was Shabbat and walked out of the fucking room.
I don't know what's going on here.
This is weird as shit.
And he whistled.
That was it.
And then he was so he was like, it's Shabbat.
Very serious about it. You could tell was like, it's Shabbat. He's very serious about it.
You could tell how serious he is.
Unbelievable.
So this Josh Fuchs talks, he does not like Maurice.
He says out of all the players he's ever represented,
Maurice is pretty much the only guy that he doesn't personally care for.
Didn't like him, thought he was a jerk, thought he was an asshole. The way he put it, he said if there was a pile of money and a pile of shit on the table maurice would reach for the pile of shit it's
just the way it's the type of person he was he was just such a fucking disaster uh he said they
took him one time to work out with a guy who helps people work get ready for the combine get up there
40 times and their shuttle drills and all that shit that's really important for running backs
that they grade you on and they go to this guy and it's out on the
beach in long beach and he says you know they get they get maurice to follow him out there
to the beach and they they couldn't get him out of the car he was in the car on the phone for a
half hour they wouldn't left everybody waiting on the phone you know waving him off yeah you know
finally gets done and uh on the phone like okay yeah this is what we're gonna do
you gotta run in the sand and he goes i don't want to and they're like well you have to like
you're gonna you need this for the combine your times are important and he goes i don't run in
the sand and just drove off it's shabbat and he drove away it's the weirdest fucking shit dude
uh i don't understand it at all but that's amazing it's super amazing that's how that's how
much it's fucked that's how impressed
with himself he is and that's how much he
trusts himself and he's been built up by these
people around him they're telling him what a superstar
he is and all this and he goes
I don't need to run in the sand it's like this weird thing
like he's he just chooses not I'm not gonna
run fuck that no I
choose not to run like from Seinfeld
so the press on him is
bad because everything that comes out is uh there's a lot of anti there's a lot of anti-college
athlete shit well who does he think he is and he's gonna come out and he's fucking ohio state
people all talking shit about him and you know he had violations in college and what a piece of
shit this guy is that is impressive and i don't know that impressive is the word.
It's more just it's sad that they make them out to be men.
Yeah.
And they promote them like crazy when they got them out there.
But then when they go against you, they're just children.
They're children.
They don't know anything.
Yeah, that's what they do.
It's very easy to do.
That's disappointing.
It's very easy for them to switch back and forth with these kids. Which is it? Is he a man or a child? It's very easy to do. That's disappointing. It's very easy for them to switch back and forth with these kids.
Which is it?
Is he a man or a child?
It's ridiculous.
Fucking take your pick and stick with it.
Yeah.
Either.
Well, yeah.
If it's illegal for him to get paid for work he does, I'd say that that's what child is.
Right.
Yeah.
Until they're 15 or 16 or whatever.
That's children.
Right.
So unless it's a family farm.
Where in this case, I don't know if you would call Ohio State a family farm.
And if you would, then he's a slave.
This is even more fucked up than we thought it was.
Put your whips and hot box away, motherfuckers.
Yeah, this is ridiculous.
This is no good.
So what they need more than anything is some good public perception of him.
They need teams to look at him
and they manipulate the shit out of the media.
And they need a fluff piece, Jimmy.
And they need one bad.
And they find a fluff piece.
They find a guy to write a fluff piece.
And this Josh Fuchs says that
this is his go-to fluff piece guy.
He writes for ESPN, the magazine.
Of course he does.
Tom Friend.
And he said he's he is just, you know, he wants the cover of obviously Maurice does of ESPN, the magazine.
But they said he can't guarantee that.
But we'll do a nice fluff piece.
And the agent's whole goal here is to make him seem like a good guy that's been mis, you know, portrayed wrongly.
He's just a nice guy who's trying real hard and just wants to play for a team and work real
hard, and that's all they want him to do.
And instead, the whole thing
is about how Ohio State fucked him over
and fuck them, and
Jim Trestle's a scumbag, and
they gave me money.
He's fantastic. And this
Tom Friend guy somehow
turns this into the fluffiest
shit ever. They love the fluffiest shit ever.
Really?
They love writing fluff pieces on Maurice.
He's had like five different fluff piece periods, I like to call them, in between periods of badness.
He has fluff piece periods.
Badness or madness?
Both.
Little I'm good now periods.
And then this happens here.
But this Tom friend writes this
article and this guy is i don't know what the fuck is the deal with this tom friend is but
he's either a fucking hack or a completely complicit in this whole or no he's either a
complete idiot or he's a hack one of the two he's either just both no no because you got to be aware
you're either he's either a rube or a hack.
One of the two.
So one of the two.
Sorry.
I'd like to go into him after reading this article like Robert De Niro in Casino with the guy who's fucking up the slot machines.
Throw the magazine at him.
Yeah.
Either you're in on it, you're too dumb to know what was going on.
Either way, you're out.
Fuck out of here when someone's robbing their slot machines magazine with you take your magazine with you oh my god man
now on one hand it does expose a lot of shit that's true but on the other hand this guy did
this as a favor to a writer to try to pretty gross he tried to write a fluff piece and maurice like
wouldn't let him he's like no no no no this, no, no. This is going to be terrible for me.
No,
no.
Here's the thing.
Have you heard of Jim Stretzel?
I'm going to make this real hard for you to make sound,
make me sound like a nice guy,
but it's going to work.
Let's do this.
So this article,
uh,
in this article,
they,
he's accusing Jim Stretzel and his staff of,
uh,
arranging for him to get passing grades,
cars,
money for bogus summer jobs.
He's burning down the house.
He's letting it all go.
He doesn't give a shit here.
It's so funny.
In this article here, this Tom friend, that's why I say he's either a rube or a hack, because he says this is a quote from the article.
Now, I've explained his living situation.
Quote, he slept on a buddy's floor and laid off the carbs and hoped by this autumn his second
season away from football his name wouldn't be synonymous with scandal uh he's uh you are a hell
of a friend not coddled by a wealthy gangster that was taking a cut of his future contract
while eating and drinking to excess and getting all fat and not running that's that's the actual
thing but he just said whatever his fucking agent told him.
He's like, I'll just write.
He's on a buddy's floor just working hard, laying off the carbs.
Horseshit.
Because vodka doesn't have carbs.
We'll get into that, too.
Yeah, it's fucking ridiculous.
In this article, it says that he's risky.
The NFL teams find him risky.
No work ethic.
They find him to be like a fourth round draft pick.
At this point
nobody had said shit about any round they just injected that in there really to then make people
think that he was in the fourth round there was a uh they they put an article out uh they they
leaked to the press because bill parcells called to ask some questions about him uh about claret
and uh he was a coach of the cowboys at the time and had a fourth-round pick that they thought he was in.
The agents were like, okay, we think maybe he's going to get him in the fourth round,
and they paired that with some quotes he had about wanting a big back,
and they sent that out to reporters to say, look, Bill Parcells is going to pick him in the fourth round.
So they were like, okay, now the fourth round is the lowest he'll go.
So they basically conned people into drafting him that's impressive it's fucking crazy man and like the the combine oh my god jesus christ this it's he was a disaster
there a disaster we'll talk about this about jim tressley said quote i thought he'd give me the nfl
i thought he'd say uh you took from me and you didn't tell on me, so here's the NFL.
He could have painted me as the first pick in the draft, as the world's greatest everything.
He wound up selling me out because he said, oh, because he was saving his own astron, Jim Trestle.
Very silver, very, very silver.
Still wants a career.
Yeah.
Also, though, they do, I will give, he had to put this in there, about the NCAA questioning him.
I guess he said a lot of I don't know.
I don't remember where I got that car.
Like if you have a Cadillac, you remember where you got a Cadillac.
I remember every car I've ever had and where I got it.
Monte Carlo is a big fucking car.
I remember where that came from.
Yeah.
All sorts of cars.
A lot of car.
It's yeah, it's it's a lot of car.
It's it's a lot of car. Now, the the athletic director for Ohio State says, quote, he's ineligible because he declined to tell the truth 17 times during an investigation.
If you want to give him credibility when he's unable to tell the truth under any circumstances, since I've been around him, I'm not going to respond.
So they're trying to really burn him, too.
And Claret said, quote, what would have become of Ohio State if I said everything?
Half the team would have been suspended and it would have been worse for everybody i was like why don't
i just take it uh yeah he said quote ohio state created me they created what they suspended which
couldn't be more fucking true yeah it couldn't be more true but really the whole system created
this well he said the grades were a joke he said they would do this shit for you. He said he had bullshit classes.
Quote, the tutor is a professor at the school.
I'd sit there with a notepad and I'd be playing or talking on the phone.
And he just outlined everything in the book and say, this is what you write for your paper.
He'd take out a notepad and say, write this, write that.
That's what it was.
Quote, and they'd tell you, like, the old test from winter 02 is going to be the test for January 03. Or the fall 01 is going to be the next test. They'd tell you like the old test from winter 02 is going to be the test for January 03 or the fall 01 is going to be the next test.
They tell you how the tests rotate.
So they would just give all this inside.
Yeah.
He said my classes were all independent study.
So I'd show up in like the eighth week of the quarter and do something for the last two weeks and I'd be fine.
A lot of times during classes, I'd be in the weight room lifting.
The coaches would be like, yeah, you get your class done. I'd be like like i'll get it done the last two weeks like that's what it was it's kind of a
tradition if you play good at ohio state you get taken care of uh he says he said they would give
him money for like performance like if he had 175 yards i'd give him like two grand wow it was like
for performance they'd give him uh he had a a gig watching some boosters kids reading to his kids.
And if he had a good game the week before, he might get, you know, three grand for reading to his kids.
If he had a shit game, he might get 800 for reading to his kids.
It's this is how they do shit in college.
Deal.
It's fucking nuts, man.
He said, quote, that was my introduction to, quote, here comes all the free money.
I did show up at first, but I was like, this is boring.
I ain't doing this.
Talking about a no show job.
Basically, I used to go watch him hang drywall or something.
I just hang out, go to McDonald's, come back, watch, leave, be gone.
I made a couple grand.
So this is fucking nuts.
I am so jealous.
Yeah.
He said the money would get filtered down.
Me and a player go to a coach's office,
and the coach would be like, you meet such and such.
He's a good friend of the program.
You should check him out sometime.
You go over his house.
You meet him for dinner.
You play with them.
You meet their kids.
And the boosters know you're in college,
and they're like, hey, you got any pocket money?
And then they end up hooking you up with shit.
What a deal.
That's how it was.
He said that his car broke down at first,
so that's when he told Trestle, hey, I can't get to practice. I need a car. And Trestle said,
hey, no problem here. Called a guy from McDaniel Automotive. He said, I got a player here. Maurice
Claret needs a car. You have a car he can use? The guy said, this is Maurice, says, quote,
so the man gets on the phone and says, what kind of cars do you like? I say, got any trucks? He
says, yeah, I got two trucks.
I got an Expedition and I got a Tahoe right here.
He's like, I'll be there first thing tomorrow morning.
And they drove down to give me the car.
That's not a truck.
That's a big-ass flash SUV.
Yeah, that's what that is.
Got any trucks?
He's asking for an S10 pickup.
So the combine comes up, and this is a fucking disaster.
They have him in 45 layers trying to
sweat off weight because he's so fucking fat he weighs in fat uh he he he pumps uh the he does
like all the weight lifting really well they're all like all he's strong as shit he's been doing
a lot of weight training then the running comes oh boy and he finally has to run they've never
they've been his agent for months now they've never seen him run they don't know what the fuck if he's been running what's he been doing how fucking hard do they hold
their breath they want a four five yeah because he's a big back so you don't have to be a four
four he's not five nine they want a fucking they want they want they want a five five that would
really show that he's done something uh he said the agents say they go up in the box to watch on the TV with all the press.
And these guys didn't know that he's their Carl Aritz agent.
So they're all like actively rooting against him.
Let's see what this douchebag does and all this shit.
He runs a 4-8.
A 4-8, which is not good.
As a running back?
That's terrible. That's a fast offensive lineman which is not good. As a running back? That's terrible.
That's a fast offensive lineman, is what that is.
That is not a running back.
So they're all like, holy shit, you fat fuck, basically.
And how tall is he?
Six foot.
Is he that big?
Six foot.
He's a six footer, but he's going 240 back then.
That's stretching him, too, because he's not that big.
No, no, no.
So he runs slow as shit
and then and then yeah in the middle of that after that rather than do it again or do it he just
leaves he's done he's like all right i'm going home now just drop the mic so rather than leave
and go back to the hotel and chill out he then leaves and does an interview on television where
they're going what the fuck's up with your 40 time? And he's just going, why did you leave?
And he's just not feeling it today.
That's what he's putting out to NFL teams.
It was sand and shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know it's the only thing I've been working for my whole life and the thing everyone's
been talking about for the last year and all I have on my plate, really.
But I just wasn't feeling it.
Like, give me an idea how important the combine is.
A man with a lineman was running so hard that his
dick fell out of his shorts and he kept fucking running.
Doesn't care.
Yeah, you can't stop.
You don't stop and put your dick away.
Who are you going to get a 6'5", 40 time because your dick was out?
No one's going to notate that.
You keep going.
They're just going to go shit 40 time.
He's slow.
It's a matter of he's got a big floppy dick.
They don't care.
The draft is crazy. Go ahead and Google that. Go ahead and YouTube that. It's nuts. NFL combine's got a big floppy dick. They don't care. The draft is crazy.
Go ahead and Google that.
Go ahead and YouTube that.
NFL Combine dick falls out.
Dick flop.
You'll see.
You'll get it.
So this fucking, this is crazy, though.
This whole thing is, he's a disaster in this.
So then they're like, okay, well, we'll do a private workout.
We'll say that that day, whatever, he wasn't feeling right or something,
and we'll do a private workout.
They have this big thing trying to get a private workout.
He wants to have one at Ohio State and they don't want him there, obviously.
So that's a big thing.
They deny his request.
Remember what you said about us?
Yeah.
You're going to come to our house?
It has to be.
Are you shitting me?
He has to work out at like some regional facility.
So they find some high school that falls in the parameters.
It's ridiculous.
That's the equivalent of us like breaking up this podcast and then talking a bunch of shit about you and then being like james i have to do a rebuttal
to the brand that you just said about me i need to borrow your studio yeah fuck yourself you'd be
like no so yeah that's exactly yeah this is ridiculous yeah i know you've been talking
shit about me and your battle raps but can i record a studio i record a retort please
that's machine gun kelly calling them and being like yo can i come over i got some shit to tell
you so they do jesus christ ridiculous so they do a private workout uh which doesn't go much
better that he's overweight so they try to hide the scale.
They hide the scale and lock it in a closet
and say, like, it's so weird that this place wouldn't have a scale.
Isn't that weird?
I can't believe it.
So their thoughts are, even if they get a scale later on,
it'll be after everything else,
and he can sweat off a couple more pounds.
So worst-case scenario,
he's still going to be two, three pounds lighter when we weigh him.
So literally they're hiding his weight from from scouts for three pounds like
that's the end game they're like every bit counts yeah you know what i mean they're measuring off
the 40 making sure it's not too long because they don't want to waste like he ends up running like
a four six and a half which isn't a whole lot better but it shows improvement yeah uh so they're
like okay well that's a little bit better uh still not exactly an explosive halfback that we're looking for right uh but teams there's only a few teams
there at this pro day even like looking at them they give a shit anyway the bangles and browns
are two of them and they're local so it doesn't cost them anything to fucking send somebody but
not a lot of fly-ins we'll say i think the raiders were a little interested in them obviously this
is oh two yeah yeah then, there was...
This is 0-4, 0-5.
The NFL was loaded up with fucking running backs anyway.
There were great running backs in the NFL.
People aren't that interested in him.
A couple teams kind of poke around at him.
They're hoping he goes before the fourth round.
That's the goal here.
And then we get to the NFL draft, April 23, 2005.
This is a very interesting draft.
This is the draft.
No. 1 overall is Mr. Broken Leg himself, Alex Smith.
No kidding.
Yes, the guy who just snapped his leg the other day.
He is the No. 1 overall pick out of Utah that year, going to the Niners, if you remember.
I don't remember who else was in this draft.
A lot.
This was a big draft.
Aaron Rodgers?
Yeah.
This was a draft where he fell.
He was supposed to be a top five guy.
Maybe he's number one, and then he just sat there looking like an idiot.
24 or some shit.
Sat there trying not to slam and break shit as people were picked as offensive linemen
and free safeties were picked out of him.
You motherfucking son of a bitch.
I am Aaron fucking Rodgers.
What the fuck?
Yeah, Ronnie Brown goes second to the running back to the Dolphins.
Braylon Edwards third, who never really turned in.
To the Browns?
To the Browns, yep, exactly.
Cedric Benson, Cadillac Williams, the running back.
Cedric Benson, the Bears?
Yes, absolutely.
Pac-Man Jones to the Titans.
It was a great player, just a mess.
We'll do him someday.
We'll talk about him, don't worry.
Goddamn nightmare.
Oh, yeah.
Antrell Roll, the Cardinals.
Carlos Rodgers, DeMarcus Ware, Sean Merriman.
It's a lot of people in this draft.
Aaron Rodgers all the way down No. 24 in the first round.
Green Bay, Roddy White, the Atlanta receiver.
Great receiver.
He was No. 27.
He's still there.
Yeah, he's No. 27.
Wow.
They got a bargain.
They got a bargain with him.
Yeah, they got him for nothing.
And he's a guy out of UAB, Alabama, Birmingham.
So small school guy fell.
Super paid now.
Stole him.
Yeah.
Stole his ass.
Good job, guys.
Also, Heath Miller, the tight end.
Guys like that.
We go through all this shit here.
Through the second round.
Justin Tuck is the third round Giants pick.
We know Justin Tuck. Richie Incognito, the abusive offensive line.
He's a lunatic.
He's a piece of shit.
He absolutely is.
And after him, finally, the third round, there's a few supplemental picks at the end of the third round.
Because the Broncos didn't have a third-round pick.
But at the end of the supplemental draft, the last pick of the third-round supplemental,
the Broncos, with the 101st pick, pick Maurice Claret.
How about that?
And everybody goes, huh?
What the fuck are you drafting him there for?
No one could understand it.
But they got the benefit of the doubt
because a few years before they'd won the Super Bowl
and Mike Shanahan was the coach,
and he's known as a running backs guru. He's known as a running game he picked Terrell Davis out of the seventh round
and made him a star like that's what everybody thinks after that that's yeah panned out absolutely
you know you're absolutely right and after that too other people when I think of Darren Sproles
was picked after him really yeah there was a couple good running backs chosen after him in
the draft Sproles is one of them.
Denver could have had fucking Sproles.
Oh, they could have had Sproles.
They could have had a bunch of guys, and instead they end up with him.
Now let's find out how that worked out.
This is interesting.
He is first day in minicamp.
He comes into minicamp.
First day.
Day one.
He doesn't have a contract yet.
No.
He's going for the voluntary mini camps here.
Not even a signed contract.
So he's trying to make it.
He's a third rounder.
He's not a first round pick who they put a lot out for.
They're going to have to sign him no matter what.
Third rounder.
He walks in.
He's there about an hour before he leaves the practice field,
goes to the GM's office,
and demands that the strength and conditioning coach who has worked for the team for 10 years be fired immediately.
Immediately.
He said something about sand.
He tried to make me.
Maurice, don't run in sand.
I don't know if I've made that clear to you, but Maurice does not run in sand.
Pat Bolin, we got some talking to do.
Yeah, and that's the least of the problems here.
So that's nuts right away.
Now, the GM's got to be going, first of all, are you out of your fucking mind?
We wouldn't take that shit from a first rounder.
You're a third rounder.
He's worked here 10 years.
Everybody likes him.
You've worked here 10 minutes.
You've worked here 10 minutes.
You don't even work here, really.
We're not even paying you for this.
You're just hanging out. Ten minutes. You've worked here ten minutes? You don't even work here, really. You don't have a car. We're not even paying you for this. This is a free day.
You're just hanging out.
Right.
You're just basically touring the facility at this moment, and you want the guy fired.
We showed you the jacuzzi, and you're like, fire him.
Fire this guy.
We don't like him.
So he tried to make me run.
So apparently he was real obsessed with his Gatorade bottle.
He left it in the car.
He made the driver come back and give him this Gatorade bottle he left in the back of the car.
He's very, very possessive about his Gatorade bottle.
And his agent finds out why.
Apparently, one day, he's in camp
drinking from the bottle on the practice field.
And he's standing next to Rod Smith,
who is a legendary Bronco.
He's like the Mr. Bronco at this point.
He's the number one receiver.
Undrafted.
Walk on.
He's the team veteran, respected guy.
He turns to Rod Smith while drinking out of this Gatorade bottle,
and he goes, I get my goose on at practice.
Oh, no.
He's drinking Grey Goose?
He's drinking Grey Goose vodka from a water bottle
while he practices football in the summer heat.
And he's telling Rod Smith.
Like, Rod Smith's going to go, cool, man. You know, that's how we won the Super Bowl in 98, 99. practices football in the summer heat and he's telling rod smith like rod smith's gonna go cool
man you know that's how we won the super bowl pretty sweet 99 elway always practiced drunk
that's the way that's how we do these things he always brings the key to my success is drunk
practice that's always right like rod smith is gonna like cheers him with his water yeah i'll
be like salute hashtag me too shentaniani, brother. And they put one back.
No, no.
He's like, get this fucking rookie out of here.
So we have an in their own words about this.
Let's let Maurice tell us.
He says a lot.
So we could do in their own words a lot.
So I tried to just make it the few that are interested.
Oh, he's a talker.
Oh, he talks.
He talks.
He talks.
And then he gives speeches and he talks more in their own words.
Quote, I was getting home at four in the morning instead of getting up at four in the morning.
Whatever came to mind, whatever I felt like doing, I just did it.
No planning, no organization, no looking toward the future, no accountability, no responsibility,
just recklessness.
The amount of luck he's had so far.
So far.
And he's ready to.
Unbelievable. Now, let's find out. He's just's had so far. So far. And he's ready to, unbelievable.
Now, let's find out.
Unbelievable.
It's just, it's so stupid.
Let's find out how he further flushed it down the toilet.
Okay.
His agents here get him a contract offer of $400,000 for the season.
Deal.
So, that's great.
That's guaranteed money.
He signs that.
He makes $400,000. That's the only thing that's guaranteed and then he's it's like a three-year deal and it escalates if they keep him blah blah blah he's got a contract for three years
got a contract one is guaranteed just the first year because he's a third round pick but that's
okay he's got 400 grand on the table uh he says fuck that i don't want that fucking contract. I don't want a $400,000 contract.
I want incentives because I'm the fucking man.
I'm the man, and I am going to be such a star.
Oh, no.
That is well below my ability, that $400,000.
So that's great for some scrub, but I'm going to be worth millions.
They won't give it to me now, but if I get incentives, whatever.
The agents try their hardest to tell him that's stupid.
Haven't you heard of Ricky Williams?
You could get hurt.
Right.
There's a lot of things that could happen.
At least get $400,000.
Right.
If you get hurt in training camp, they can cut you with an incentive contract.
It won't hurt them because it won't hurt anything against the cap.
That's the problem.
You've got to have a team be into you for the cap so they can't cut you.
Otherwise, you're fucked.
And this is a team of people that that their salary based on yours so they're like no idiot let's do yes let's do
this this is smart grand that even the union the players union tried to step in and and not allow
the contract because they it was such a stupid contract they were like no this is abusive to
the player and the agents had to step in and go this is what he fucking wants he had to say no no no it's cool i'm an idiot this is what i want so uh stupid as
fuck their nflpa rep on the broncos was rod smith getting his goose on yeah so training camp comes
around and if you've ever watched the hard knock show or anything everybody has to work their
ass off every day in training camp because guys get cut that you don't expect to get cut right
because it's like well that guy had a better training camp i'm fucking cutting this guy
happens all the time everybody has to bust their ass unless you're rod smith right and they know
that you're going to be an all pro no matter what you're there's like four guys on the team who are
who have no threat everyone else needs to fucking hustle all the time he wouldn't
work out and he wouldn't play in any of the preseason games because his hamstring was sore
and he didn't want to mess it up and he didn't want to show less than he could do and his agents
were like dude you have to play in one of these preseason games you're a third rounder a lot of
other running backs on the roster yeah like you need to fucking play you're not levy on bell you haven't proven shit you haven't proven shit he says this
is possibly the dumbest thing he said all he he said that he's saving it for the regular season
this is like the guy on death row who said he was saving his dessert for after his execution
like it won't matter then if you're cut in october it won't matter how healthy you are
because you're cut motherfucker it doesn't matter uh yeah it's it's fucking amazing uh
what what are they thinking i don't understand it uh yeah he says quote in between the partying and
in between the drinking and the drugging those those things eventually spilled onto the football field.
You can't party the night before you have training camp.
You can't go out six days a week and expect yourself to be productive on the football field.
Broncos agree.
And on August 28, 2005, they cut him.
They fucking cut him.
This is that's a third round pick and they cut him.
That doesn't happen often.
That you have to really be a fuck up for that to do do that never played in a pre-season game never did shit uh shanahan the
coach said quote anytime you cut somebody you drafted in the third round obviously you feel
like you've made a mistake and you go on but when you do make that mistake you have to go on so
you know you have to plow through it this one josh f his agent, a $1 bet that he made with the other agent.
When all this craziness was going on, he says, I bet you a dollar he never plays a down in the NFL.
He did that?
Yeah.
He really made that bet?
He bet it with the other agent.
He said, I bet you a dollar he never plays in the NFL.
And the agent, he said, the other guy just took it because he didn't want to seem like a pessimist.
Fine.
But he said he won the bet because he never played a fucking down.
He never played a down.
Never played a preseasonseason snap wow nothing uh he said that at this point maurice did that people in his life
were trying to get him to go to counseling uh yeah he said quote they said you have so many
extreme extreme situations happen in the past few months that you need to sit down with a psychiatrist
and you need to figure this thing out figure out what's going on in your life and let us help you but i was resistant to authority at that point in my life
of course he could use some form someone to talk to with this but i would say uh even more now uh
especially after all that the whole thing with federal court and all this shit and ohio fighting
with a major university he's done some pretty adult. He's done a lot of adult shit, and he's a kid.
He's still 20, not even 23 years old.
He's still 22.
He's fired from the only job that he wanted.
He's done.
The whole endgame is over now.
And it wasn't even because he was injured.
It was because he was an asshole.
If he was injured through the preseason and he got cut,
somebody might have latched him on as a free agent,
and he might have been given a chance.
But his whole thing was people thought he was an asshole.
He had to show up and be the nicest, greatest team player in the world.
And he showed up and was an asshole.
All he had to do was show up and just be a nice guy.
That's it.
And well, let's see what happens here.
Let's see how nice he is.
January 1st, 2006, after his family has been telling him to please get counseling, a police
spokeswoman, spokes, Michael Woods,
said that felony warrants are being issued for Maurice's arrest.
They have filed two counts of aggravated robbery charges
related to an incident that took place in an alley
behind a nightclub in Columbus, Ohio,
called the Opium Lounge at 1.45 a.m.
Good place to be.
Once again, 1.45 a.m. If you're at a club at 2 a.m yeah your
fucking fault it's always your fault yeah it's always your fault i mean you're robbed you're
beaten it's your fault yes you should why were you there 2 a.m you know who's there at 2 a.m
assholes her at bars at 2 a.m that's who's there so fuck man uh the police report said the club's owner a tashana corvey uh identified maurice as
the person who held a 45 caliber handgun on uh on two patrons and took a cell phone from them in an
alley behind the club he robbed people of their cell phone in an alley behind the club that what how far is this of a fall i remember three years robbing
but i didn't know the the loot was a nokia what is he doing he stole a phone i don't fuck uh the
police report said the victims said that maurice was quote drunk and might be sick they felt bad
for him his victims this is even his robbery They felt bad for him, his victims.
This guy, even his robbery victims feel bad for him.
The police report said that after he took the cell phone, the Jesus Christ, the owner of the place came outside and Clarette, quote, hugged her and began dragging her down the alley toward the vehicle he fled in.
No, no.
That's damn near kidnapping.
That's close to kidnapping.
Almost did it.
He left with two other people in a white SUV.
Oh, boy.
The police spokesman said, quote,
we don't know where he is right now.
He doesn't have a Columbus address.
As with any warrant, especially a felony warrant,
officers are out looking for him.
His agent, Steve Feldman, who's the other guy,
he's the guy who lost the $1 bet,
he said in a tele...
He was still silver.
Yeah.
Still silver at this point.
Jesus Christ.
He said in an interview that Maurice had planned on...
He was about to sign with an NFL team today, actually.
I was on his agenda.
So this is kind of a bump in the road.
He said he's probably going to get assigned to NFL Europe, and he's about to be signed, though.
They said, well, who's going to sign him?
He said, well, I can't tell you that.
Obviously, I can't tell you who's going to sign him.
Put a press release out.
Because I made it up.
Right.
And I'm trying to get him in NFL Europe, just like I made up the other shit about him.
He said that Clarke had been working out in L.A., but recently returned to Columbus.
Never go home.
Back home.
Crime and sports rule.
Fucking clear as day.
He said that Maurice was in good financial standing. I don't know fucking how. He's never made a dime. Right.urice was in good financial standing i don't know
fucking how he's never made a dime right how's he in good flight how he's not made any money
made zero he's made zero dollars i don't understand that he said the situation is not
beneficial beneficial this allegation is not beneficial uh yeah he said quote his behavior's
never been criminal he's made some foolish decisions and opened his mouth when he shouldn't
have and stood up when it would have been wiser to let go but his behavior has never been criminal. He's made some foolish decisions and opened his mouth and he shouldn't have and stood up when it would have been wiser to let go.
But his behavior has never been criminal.
Yes, that's it.
It is fucking now.
It is now.
Forty four.
Forty five.
Forty five.
To be fair.
It's still still pretty fucking big.
And took a Motorola Razr off of somebody.
Swiped a hundred and twenty nine dollar phone. off of somebody swiped a 129 phone that's it
fucking swiping his flip phone and they can't find him call that motorola this one has a camera on it
oh jesus christ jim tressel says quote obviously my my reaction to that is it's sad because as i've
said the last few times people have brought up the subject my hope would be that he would have
had an opportunity to go over to NFL Europe and make a comeback.
I hope this isn't true.
And then his high school coach at Warren G. Harding said, quote, I hope I just hope it's a case of mistaken identity.
Yeah, because no one knows who we what he fucking looks like.
Jesus Christ.
He's on a Broncos number 13 jersey because that's all the clothes he has.
He's he's screaming.
I had twelve hundred yards as a freshman
they know who he is so late july 2006 with everything going so well yeah so well the rule
is not to get married but he doesn't he skips that rule and just has a baby instead oh boy
so uh he and his girlfriend uh ashley evans have a daughter named jayden so uh let's drag a child into this how much
convincing did that take you ashley how did you fucking and she doesn't seem to like him much
i've seen all these interviews she's always like like yelling at him and like telling him like
communicating through you know you're an idiot maurice like yeah she's sending messages through
c that's what she does yeah she's like you know
maurice you know you're an idiot and you can't be doing like she treats him like
like a babysitter who's shitty at their job like it's really weird she's trying to get a message
through cnn.com yeah that's what he's trying to put it out there so claret's a loser signed
ashley ashley take that and your daughter with a little baby handprint on it.
Unbelievable.
That hurts.
That hurts.
That handprint hurts me, man.
That stings.
So August 9, 2006.
This is a couple weeks
after his daughter's born.
He's driving around
in the middle of the night,
possibly drunk,
probably drunk,
has a half a bottle
of Grey Goose in the car
he's sipping off of.
He's making phone calls
to everyone he knows.
Oh, a stolen Motorola Razr.
On a Motorola he had in his crotch, hidden from a robbery.
He calls Tom Friend.
There's a guy who's on my side.
This guy writes about me.
Mr. Fluffpiece, I'll call him.
He likes me.
Tom Friend said, quote, listen to this, quote, I looked at the clock when he called and it
was just past 11 p.m. Eastern.
He told me he was driving somewhere and along the way his cell phone cut in and out.
He wasn't loud or belligerent.
Instead, he seemed melancholy and possibly drunk.
Apparently, he was just driving all around town in Ohio, calling people in the middle of the night.
He called Jim Trestle, which I thought was a weird thing.
That's a bizarre number to call.
It's like calling an ex-girlfriend.
Yo, motherfucker, you looking fine as fuck on your Facebook page.
Yo, Titty's looking good.
Listen, bitch, you got a Netflix account.
I'm telling you, man.
He calls him.
He calls his team that he's about to sign with an indoor arena not the arena league a different
indoor arena league team called the mahoning valley hitmen ouch uh and he called his future
coach jim terry this is a guy who hasn't even played for you yet hey coach i'm all fucked up
and i'm driving around great terrific how you doing coach i'm getting my goose it's gonna be
a great season thanks and it was too it was a bottle of Grey Goosey in the car, by the way.
He called LeBron James.
What?
He's his buddy.
He's got his number.
He called, like I said, he called Tom Friend.
He called his lawyer, Mike Hogue.
He called his mother, Michelle.
All these people, some of them said he sounded alert and upbeat and fine.
Others said he sounded drunk and melancholy.
Like he was just like schizophrenic in the calls.
He called his lawyer, Mike Hogue,
and the lawyer said he was all choked up.
He was talking about holding his daughter.
He said, quote, Maurice said, quote,
I'd do anything for that little girl.
I'd go to jail for 30 years for her,
which is bad when you hear that.
The lawyer said, Maurice, you're not going to jail, okay?
You're not guilty.
Now get some sleep, because he still had the robbery thing hanging over him.
So now two in the morning, he calls his mother.
So this is from 11 to two.
He's driving around.
Three hours of driving.
Actually more, because he said 11 Eastern, so that's 10 Central.
Oh, Jesus.
So that is, yeah, so you're talking fucking four hours of driving
around goosing it up man just goosing and driving which is a bad drinking and thinking
like naz once said drinking and thinking that's beautiful yeah doing 90 on the franklin d roosevelt
no seat belt drinking and thinking i feel like that's what he's doing right now that's brilliant no this is a fucking good shit so pretty fucking good lyric so i also i like from from uh get yourself a gun he says
automatic leg spreader quicker brain getter yeah yeah that's pretty solid i think it's back twister
lingerie ripper yeah automatic leg spreader, quicker brain getter. I think that's the four.
That's self-dubbed, by the way.
That's pretty solid.
It's not bad.
It's rhyming as a vitamin held without a capsule.
You know how it goes.
You know how that goes.
Ah, Nas is a genius.
I fucking love Nas.
So now he talked to his mother at two in the morning,
which you never want to get a call from your kid driving around drinking at two in the morning.
That's scary because he's still like, you know, 23 years old.
He's still a kid.
As he talked, I guess he's swerving around.
He he from what he says, he misses his turn for his hotel.
This is his story and makes an illegal U-turn.
OK, at this point, I've done that.
Yeah.
That'll get to pulled over every time.
Lights in the rear view mirror.
And he goes, shit, this is bad stuff here.
So he tells his mother.
He doesn't pull over, by the way.
He keeps driving.
And he tells his mother, quote, I've got guns in my car.
I'm going to jail.
Call my lawyer.
Tell Ashley I love her.
Oh, my God.
And then puts the fucking phone down.
Doesn't.
He says goodbye.
Puts the phone down, but doesn't turn it off okay so now the mother can hear him screeching driving away
on a high-speed chase from the police which has to be at two in the morning which is supposed to
be the most stressful thing in the world this poor woman's going through a few minutes later
she heard what she thought were gunshots which turned out to be his tires being blown out by
spike strips that the police laid down.
But she thought that the police were shooting her or him or worse.
He was shooting them or not worse, but whatever the fuck.
Bad either way.
Instead, she's listening to a live cops episode.
A live cops episode.
Yeah.
So they end up he wouldn't leave the car.
They end up having to drag him out of the car.
He's maced.
His whole fucking face is maced.
It's a fucking mess.
Two months ago, he was a Bronco.
Yeah, a few months ago.
And instead, this is on I-70 on the freeway.
He just hopped over a median and made a U-turn.
It wasn't even like one of those U-turn spots.
You're not supposed to make a U-turn.
He just hopped the fucking median.
Fuck this shit.
Yeah.
So a police helicopter was in the area tracking him so they got the spike strips down he exited the highway and pulled into a restaurant parking lot uh about 10 minutes after they saw
make the u-turn that's how much time had passed here they get him out of the suv he does not
obey any of their any of their commands uh so I said, they have to mace him.
They put him in a van.
Now they get to go in the car.
Now he's been, I mean, this was a fucking scene, man.
I mean, this was helicopters, multiple police cars, flat tires, mace, dragging this dude around.
It's nuts.
Citizens are impressed.
Yeah.
Then they go into his car.
Oh, no.
And they find a loaded assault rifle on the passenger seat.
On the passenger seat.
Loaded assault rifle sitting right there.
Three loaded handguns in the front of the car, including one in a holster and a backpack,
one on the passenger side floor, and one on his side.
Good Christ.
He had a hatchet and a sword.
What the fuck?
You got guns, man.
You don't need those anymore those anymore hatchet and a sword
a half a bottle of vodka uh also so he's got a half in him uh they think they didn't give him a
they ended up not giving him a breath test a because i don't know if the mace will fucking
mess with that or not but they said that they had no indication that he was intoxicated
which i don't know they said they didn't know even where he got the guns because they weren't registered to him or anything.
He said, quote, the police spokesman said, quote, we don't have any idea why he had them or what or if anything he was going to do with them.
They said we're going to try to trace the gun's ownership.
They also found a compact disc of children's songs recorded by Ohio prison inmates that the state distributed last month to prisoners and their families.
That's what he's playing for his Ashley?
He got arrested.
They gave him a CD of kids songs and he fucking put it in the car with him.
He kept it.
He kept it and drove around with it at two in the morning.
That's awesome.
I don't know what's happening.
I need my CD of the kids singing some inspirational songs and my assault rifle there we go ready to go and then these three
pistols and then these three pistols he's like the jerk and the sword he's all i need is this
hatchet and this sword and my three pistols oh and my and my children's ohio prison inmate CD. What the fuck? And a half a bottle of Grey Goose.
And a hatchet.
So the police said it took several officers to get him handcuffed.
Even after he was placed in the paddy wagon, he was still kicking at the doors and, quote, being a problem for officers.
They said he doesn't know what he was going to do with the guns.
They said, quote, but if you've got four guns in your car, you're up to no good, which is
probably true.
I don't think you need four guns on you for self-defense unless I don't know what you're
defending yourself against.
I have several in my apartment.
You know, I may leave my house.
None.
Unless I'm going shooting something.
Yeah.
They also charged him with weaving in and out of lanes on a road before he entered the
highway.
They're going to charge him with more shit later.
By the way, the arrest ended up coming near.
Funny, he missed his turn to that hotel.
Super weird.
You know where he was also real close to?
The witness that was set to testify against him in his robbery case.
No.
The next week, by the way.
He's supposed to go on trial for robbery in his truck.
He also had all of his financial records, family photos, all of his shit that he was
giving to his lawyer to present in court to go.
What a great guy.
He doesn't need to rob anybody.
He's got money and his kids love him.
And you pop up a pot or maybe all that shit dead or the end.
A bunch of guns.
Wow.
So he says, no, no, no.
He wasn't going over there to kill this person.
Obviously, he said, quote, I wanted to have shootout uh with the purpose of me basically killing myself so he's saying that he wanted
to have a shootout with the police that was his goal it didn't happen which it didn't happen and
he had full opportunity to i mean might have thought about it and then thought better of it
prosecutor asked a judge to keep him in jail and revoke his bond on the robbery charges that he
was out at out of prison on. And he was arrested.
They said, given that he was arrested close to the home of the witness, one of the people who identified him, they said, you know, we'd like to have his bond revoked.
They said that they won't revoke it, but they raised it to one point one million dollars.
So they said he probably can't post that.
So they're kind of because he hasn't made a fucking dog.
Yeah.
No, I don't know if he has Israeli gangsters backing him anymore.
This is the bananas part.
Is that how far he has fallen?
How fast?
That's what I mean.
That's why I said we talk about it.
Yeah, it's a rocket into a brick.
It's fucking all that force back up and then boom, it takes off, fires into the air and
directly into a wall and explodes into a trillion pieces.
It's so fast.
It's so fucking fast.
How are you a Denver Bronco, any fucking NFL team?
How are you an NFL team member?
And now you're thinking, maybe thinking about killing a witness?
Are you out of your fucking mind?
Even driving anywhere near their house is insane.
So instead, wow.
He said that if he does get out, he's going to stay at his mom's house and all that kind of shit.
He ends up somehow making, I don't know if they reduced it or what, but he gets out for a minute on bail here.
He still plans to play for the Hitmen there, one of five teams in the Eastern Indoor Football League.
It's not a league with five teams.
I'm sorry.
One team can't play no on that day
you play on saturdays one team's got the week off every fucking time every team's gotta buy
yeah someone's gotta buy from opening week to end of season yeah every third week so
the hitman coach and owner jim terry who talked to him in the midst of his breakdown
said that there was no indication that anything was wrong with maur Maurice when he spoke to him on the phone early in the morning.
That's something.
That's an indication.
And he called you from the car at midnight.
That's weird.
He said the call was disconnected around 1 a.m. and that Terry was sleeping and missed
his next call, which was an hour and a half later, which would have been right around
the time when he called his mom and had the police check.
So he called this guy.
He wasn't home.
So he called his mom.
He's just looking for people. He said that the arrest will not affect claret status with the
team do you understand where the eastern indoor football league we don't give a fuck if oj could
still play he'd be on my team right now we have no idea we we can't afford to miss him we we need
him he's he said quote i've seen far worse situations than this how fucked up i have
i have murderers on my team mister so i don't even get the fuck out of here
his contract was pending because in his contract there was incentive clauses being worked out uh
based on attendance because he'll draw a crowd so before his contract could be signed they needed to have a fire marshal figure out the exact
capacity of the team's uh of the team stadium and that's why he wasn't signed yet so he never ends
up getting signed i gotta know exactly how many people we can put in here so i can know how many
how much percentage exactly i need exactly wow uh his attorney came out and said that uh this is his
excuse that maurice has recently received death threats, both written and verbal.
And and, you know, this is his pattern.
His behavior is, you know, based on that.
The people who know him, though, said that he's been on different days.
He's been fine and then unstable the next day.
They said the stress and the baby and all this.
He's been a fucking mess, which I don't blame him.
I really don't blame him i really
don't uh they said is he just uh he thinks that someone's bugging him his phone he thinks people
are following him oh no so he's he's losing his fucking mind here uh which is crazy uh what is it
though is it drugs well he's doing he's doing whatever he can get his hands on he's drinking
a lot it's a problem and he's he's might be oh no maybe he's got a little bipolar he's been beat bipolar quite a bit a touch he's been beat up a little bit but not really he's only played one year of
college football for christ's sake he hasn't really been that beat up here uh uh so he ends
up being there the the prosecutors uh wanted at least one million dollar bond because he said the
prosecutor said quote we feel he's a threat to the community which driving around drinking gray goose with four loaded weapons in your cars the definition of of a
threat to the community that's a threat what does the threat to the community look like that guy
right there uh so that is the the white guy with the with the hair dyed uh minus a theater that's
all that is yeah that's all he is at the moment. Fucking it. So September 18, 2006, he agrees to plead guilty to aggravated robbery and carrying a concealed weapon.
This is a wrap up for the whole thing, for the cops, for the robbery, for everything.
They roll it all up into one here.
This deal could sentence him.
Well, we'll get to that in a second here.
The judge announced an agreement on the day jury selection was about to begin in the trial of the robbery trial.
The judge sentences him.
Let's see here.
You, sir, may fuck off seven and a half years in prison, which he can be released after three and a half.
He has to serve three and a half.
But seven and a half is the sentence and also to serve five years of probation
after the prison sentence that's a weapons charge that's the robbery that's for the robbery
he pled it down to aggravate plead guilty to aggravated robbery and carrying a concealed
concealed weapon those are heavy charges those are the weapons charging them yeah and aggravated
yeah uh he says quote i'd like to apologize for my behavior and I accept the time that it was given to me.
That's great.
I accept the sun rising this morning.
You have no choice.
I accept the charge and the time given because I can't fight it.
Because literally men are going to drag me away in chains and handcuffs either way.
So I got to accept it.
Jesus Christ, man.
Like he's going to fight it.
Fuck, man.
He had his mom there and his daughter and his girlfriend, and they're all crying and all that shit here.
Prosecutor here said he was pleased with the agreement.
He said, quote, Our view all along was that the conduct demanded a prison sentence, and that's been accomplished.
It's in a range that will allow him to get his life back together after release.
Now, the funny part is the people who he robbed,
one of the victims said all he wanted was an apology.
That's all he wanted from her.
He didn't even want charges to be brought against him.
He just wanted an apology
and the prosecutor said,
no, no, no, you can't rob people at gunpoint.
That's an our thing.
We take care of that.
He can apologize too,
but he's also going to prison on top of that shit.
They said, though,
a victim's assistant from the prosecutor's
office read a statement from the robbery victims
who said the ordeal's been hard on all
aspects of their lives, and they said, quote,
Mr. Claret, we hope you will use this opportunity
to help someone
along the way. So, they're
trying to be nice to him.
He ends up in the Toledo Correctional Facility,
where we all go.
And he's got a little in their own words about that.
Let's see what he has to say.
He says, in their own words,
quote, I don't care who you are.
Nobody plans to go to prison.
When you're in prison, it's like,
hey, how did this become what it is?
At that point, you begin to assess your behavior
or assess your decision making and you correct it you become self-aware and you set some good
new goals and and you create new paths you realize you have to fix it did maurice claret just how did
you come to arrive he just himself he just said hi i'm maurice claret how did i come how the fuck did i come to arrive here i'd
like to know that that was impressive as fuck that's that's right he comes out and he says
quote you saw me getting treated like an animal uh tased beaten shoved into a van with a muzzle
on my face that was the position i was put myself in because they eventually had to muzzle him
because he was spitting and biting and kicking and punching like a fucking dog.
While in prison, he took a big interest in Warren Buffett, the investor.
He he said he read his books and shit.
And then when he got out of jail, he ends up having a meeting him later on.
Warren Buffett took a meeting with Maurice Claret.
What kind of life does Warren Buffett?
You're not armed, are you?
So you say you say Maurice Claret. What kind of life does Warren Buffett lead? Hey, you're not armed, are you? Right.
So, Jesus Christ.
You say Maurice Claret wants to meet, ask him if he's goosing today.
Is he goosing?
I'll goose with him.
Does he just want to goose or does he want to actually talk?
Or are we just goosing?
What's happening?
Just goosing.
He's getting a goose on.
He says, Maurice says about meeting Warren Buffett, quote, I went down. I thought it was just going to be a quick picture.
Next thing you know, we're sitting there for hours and we're going back and forth.
And I felt like I knew him because I read so much.
They certainly goose.
And he was frightened of me.
He was goose up.
So, yeah, he ends up April of 2010. He's sent to a halfway house in prison, too.
He becomes very like a mentor to younger prisoners.
Like anybody who's there is like 18, 19.
They look up to him a lot.
And he kind of does well in prison.
He has his probation transferred to Columbus, which is his girlfriend's hometown, so he can stay there.
This article describes, this is how they describe Ashley.
Quote, Ashley, who can be stingy with compliments for Claret, says, quote, he has become a wonderful dad.
When he was first released, he was like, I'm going to take her to the toy store and buy her a bunch of toys so she'll like me.
And I said, that's good that you want to make friends with her, but you can't just buy her
affection.
She doesn't care if you spend $500 at Toys R Us.
She just wants you to be here.
She wants you to sit down at her tea party and swing her around at the park, which makes
sense.
It makes a lot of sense here.
So finally, like I said, he's trying to get his life back together.
He's sent to a halfway house in April of 2010.
together uh he's sent to a halfway house in april of 2010 uh finally gets out of the goddamn halfway house when he uh seeks permission from a judge to try out for the omaha nighthawks of the ufl
which is the united football league i'm into alternate leagues like i loved the usfl when i
was a kid i always want new leagues to do well. This was a piece of shit. It was unwatchable.
Unwatchable piece of shit football.
He went to play here.
So he's in a halfway house.
He's going there.
He probably feels good when he comes out of the halfway house.
He probably feels good about himself.
He's like, I'm going to go play some football.
He goes, shit, I do well in the UFL.
Man, you never know.
NFL Europe, next thing you know, fuck, I'm on a roster.
I'm 27 years old.
Big stage.
He's walking down the street feeling good about himself.
And then he comes across a man with a lot of dogs.
And he doesn't understand it.
And then he does because it's Bobby Colorado, animal trainer from Fredericksburg, Texas.
And he says.
How is it you come to arrive here?
I don't fucking understand you one bit.
First of all, I would like, I think what would benefit you would be a dog.
Now, I'm not going to lie to you.
I think, I know it's not my turn to.
I know there's other people coming.
There's a guy coming next week, Horace, some shit.
I don't remember.
He's coming next week.
I know the next guy, whoever the fuck that is. But you, you're my, I looked at at you and i said if there's ever a fucking guy that needs a dog it's this guy even just if you're having a crazy thought hey i'm gonna go shoot
a witness you know drink a half a bottle of gray goose i'm gonna tell rod smith with a jerk off i
am you look over at the dog and the dog's looking at you like what are you fucking stupid and you're
gonna think to yourself even the fucking dog knows i'm an idiot. And I think that's what you need, my friend.
Oh, Jesus Christ, they're shitting all over.
I got to go.
Poof.
And a poof of dog shit and marinara sauce.
And muzzles.
And muzzles.
And muzzles.
He's very confused, Maurice.
He does not understand.
But now he wants a dog for some reason.
He's very easily led.
That's the problem here.
So he goes to the UFL, which is amazing.
The Nighthawks issued a statement in their support for Claret.
They said, quote, Maurice Claret has paid his debt to society.
And through recent conversations, conversations with Maurice, his lawyer and family, we believe he is sincerely working at turning his life around because we believe everyone deserves a second chance.
And because Maurice wants to see whether he can still play the game he loves
we've agreed to work from the work maurice out as soon as the ohio courts will allow also we can't
get any players that's the other thing everyone we gets 40 or can't make a roster either one uh
yeah he says uh fucking he's playing for the night hawks he says he loved it uh he says uh fucking he's playing for the nighthawks he says he loved it uh he says uh
what you know he took a guy under his wing there's a guy named uh uh matt overton who uh wound up
getting cut by the ufl team and so he was depressed and he said how am i gonna ever make the nfl if a
ufl team caught me so maurice said, you can sleep on my couch.
I'll be your workout partner.
And he worked this guy out.
And this guy ended up catching on with the Colts and was a long snapper for several seasons
with the Indianapolis Colts.
How about that?
And he credits Maurice with turning his whole life around.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
He says, I couldn't have done it without him.
I was at the bottom of everything.
I was about to give up.
And he was there for me and told me to not give up.
I was about to start frequenting alleys and robbing people.
I was just going to rob Nokia's.
2010, for Omaha, he runs 37 rushes for 154 yards, 4.2 yards a carry,
15 is his long with one touchdown.
So not great, not terrific.
12 receptions for 98 yards yeah that's just not
terrible for a running back coming out i don't know what kind of offenses are running down there
but who cares it's at this point that he starts speaking and this becomes his whole life uh he's
in omaha he takes his first speaking engagement uh it was from a law professor in connecticut
and uh he said that people were impressed with his story and how he got out of prison and
he started taking classes toward his degree at Ohio State again.
They let him on campus?
Well, I don't know if he's off campus or some kind of program.
Yeah, some kind of program here.
This person was running a symposium at Quinnipiac University called Disparity in Youth Education
and believed Claret would be the perfect fit for her panel which he said i don't understand what half those words mean
number one but okay so what's the quinnipook what's a quinnip quinnip what the fuck so he says
uh quote it's going it's also going to the administrative staff and explaining to them
how they can be more supportive is what he's doing at these schools he's saying it's about
offering up these kids legitimate classes.
A lot of these kids are taking lollipop classes,
and these coaches know that they wouldn't put their own kids in these type of courses.
He said it's the responsible thing to do.
Put every resource in place for these kids to be challenged academically.
I have to challenge the student-athlete support services.
I challenge the coaching staffs, and I challenge the students because there's something to say to everyone.
And it's not rude, but it's like, let's be serious with each other.
So that's all right.
He says, I say it every time I speak.
Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future.
This is actually a smart thing that he says.
Is that a phrase that he says?
That's his whole point of his speech.
Show me your friends and I'll show you your future.
All right.
And he says, I have a picture from 2002 with 15 guys from my neighborhood hanging out in a nightclub partying.
He said, out of those 15, 10 of them have been in state or federal prison, including myself, and two of them are dead.
He goes, you look at that photo.
It makes a lot of fucking sense because if I wasn't hanging around with those people i probably have different thoughts and if i would
have started that young uh whatever i mean that's not a point it's obviously you're more likely to
do stupid shit if you're hanging around dipshit right and you also everything it really especially
when you're young because you know that sort of thing but if you don't know that shit then
maybe you deserve what you get yeah no shit that's a good point uh february
2010 or 2000 2011 members of the alliance police department special investigations unit
arrest michael graham claret jr his brother his brother his brother was the junior he's the junior
uh after he picked up a package of marijuana from a residence uh and it
was a 13 pounds of marijuana that's what he picked up so it wasn't like he grabbed a nickel bag and
they busted him in the parking lot he had 13 pounds sent to him via the u.s postal service
from arizona to ohio wow that didn't work very well. It was the return of his mom's house, probably.
So there was all surveillance of this guy. And so he's arrested on that. 2011, Jim Trestle
starts to get his a little bit. Jim Trestle suspended for the first two games of the season
and fined two hundred and fifty thousand dollars for failing to notify the school of NCAA violations
involving Ohio State football players.
They had financial arrangements with people, an owner of a local tattoo parlor.
This was the whole thing where the guy traded his jersey.
Who the hell was it?
The quarterback who traded his jersey for tattoos.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who fucking cares?
That's a violation.
It's a jersey.
Did you give him his jersey that he could take home with him?
Then he can trade it for blowjobs if he wants. What the fuck do you care? It's his. a violation it's a jersey did you give him his jersey that he could take home with him then he
can trade it for blow jobs if he wants what the fuck do you care it's his jesus christ we gave
you this shirt one time so you can't get a tattoo fuck you people you cocksuckers terrell prior
that's who it was terrell prior and he traded the shirt off his own back yeah for a goddamn
ridiculous who gives a fuck and that's another
dude who's fucking career washed out thanks a lot cleveland yeah they're like we'll make him a wide
receiver no i thought i was gonna say aaron prior who's the boxer who will do an episode on someday
so uh apparently uh uh trestle was informed of all this type of shit he's informed of the whole
thing and and and hit it.
He exchanged text messages
with an attorney who had originally notified
him. In these, he verified
that the Justice Department matter involved
the same players and issues as
these other emails. So it's all tied together
with electronic shit and everything else.
In March
of 2011, it's announced
that Trestle requested,
the athletic director Gene Smith
requested of him
that he extend his own suspension,
Trestle's suspension,
to the same number of games as his players.
And he ends up doing that
so he would have missed the first five games
of the 2011 season.
So they asked the athletic director,
this is how powerful coaches are,
they asked the Ohio State president if he powerful coaches are they asked the uh the ohio
state president if they if he was going to fire jim tressel and the guy said quote no are you
kidding me i'm hoping the coach doesn't dismiss me what that's what he said that's how much power
these people have you're in charge what yep that's how much power these football coaches have in most
states just about all of them the highest paid state employee is the state football coach.
It's always the car, but the players get shit.
It's unbelievable.
They can stay there.
It's fucking ridiculous here.
So anyway, and one of them happened to be facilitating his assistant diddling kids in
the shower.
That happens to.
Yeah.
Unbelievable.
In a notice of allegations, the NCAA charged that Trestle's actions were considered potential
major violations.
He permitted football student-athletes to participate in intercollegiate athletics while ineligible
and failed to comport himself with honesty and integrity.
Yeah, this whole thing.
He ends up in May 30, 2011.
Trestle resigns as the Ohio State head football coach.
Did he really?
He resigned.
He had to go down, man.
He went down.
This whole thing took him down.
The tattoo thing was the tip of the iceberg of it all.
And he just fucking said, never mind.
Where did he go after that?
He ended up, first of all, he was the third winningest coach in school history there.
But Ohio State had to vacate all its wins from the 2010 season.
And they were on two-year probation.
That's the dumbest thing ever.
I think he coached Youngstown State after that or some shit like that.
I hate when they make them vacate shit.
Because then there's, what, no national champion?
Yeah, that's so stupid.
You got away with it.
You got away with it.
Let's just say that.
Who gives a fuck?
Just let them keep the stupid fucking trophy.
It's so fucking stupid.
We just know there's an asterisk.
Nobody there.
Guess nobody won that game that happened that we all watched.
It's so stupid. What about the fucking team that played them how about them what about them yeah how about second place they still stick with the second place shit out of luck
uh yeah he uh he uh ended up 2017 i guess he was coaching someone now in in 2013 2012 uh he starts
dicking around with rugby, Maurice Claret does.
Yeah, he plays with some team,
works out with them.
American rugby?
Yeah.
The coach said, quote,
he has gifts you can't coach.
His ball handling,
his touch, his speed and space,
he won't beat you over 80 yards,
but over 20, he's special.
So, by the way,
now December 2012,
there's another fluff piece.
Every five years, the fluff pieces roll. That's a special way of calling him fat, by the way now december 2012 there's another fluff piece every five years the fluff pieces roll that's a special way of calling him fat by the way oh yeah he's too greedy yards but not many
of these guys are six foot 230 a muscle though like that too so he's a big lumbering son of a
bitch uh fluff piece here talks about how maurice and his wife and his girlfriend here actually get into an argument and police are
called this isn't his fault uh she attacked him and he uh he said he knew he was on probation
he didn't want to fuck with it uh so he ended up calling the cops to say that he just wanted
them to come over and like get in between them because he didn't want it to escalate uh uh this ended up
uh uh being she ends up being wanted because she ends up like being on the lamb wanted for this
shit they end up being separated for a while uh for a little bit uh they leave this is what i mean
this is in the article that maurice was quote maurice was left with fishy j Jaden's beloved pet fish, which died under his watch.
R.I.P. Fishy is really the point of this episode, which I think that might be the title of the episode.
R.I.P. Fishy.
Very clever name.
Jesus, they dug deep.
So they lied and said that the fish was still alive and they got another one.
So this was 12.17 p.m., So middle of the afternoon on a Saturday afternoon, she bit him on the wrist and chest and punched him in the face with a closed fist.
His chest bit his chest, which is wow.
So there you do that.
She's wanted for domestic violence and assault at that point.
But back to the fluff piece of the whole thing because that was, they just said that
he was so responsible now
because he called the cops.
They didn't say the rest of that
in the fluff piece.
I inserted that in.
Back to the fluff piece.
Quote,
Maurice and Ashley
have found their second wind.
It's May
and everyone is under
the same roof again.
Jaden's all-American girl doll
is joining her father's books
on the floor.
Fishy is here too,
although he looks slightly different now.
He's a smaller fish because he's younger, you dipshit.
Jesus Christ, man.
They talked about how he stayed up until 1.30 in the morning
helping Jaden do a family tree project with Ashley for Jaden's shit
and that Ashley helped him rent a post office and got him a dress label
so that the books he sends out
will look more professional.
They're undergoing counseling.
Jesus Christ.
What a life.
He says, yeah, he just,
years ago he wouldn't have called the police
to quell that situation, but now.
He just knocked the shit out of her?
Yeah, he would have just,
he said, quote, I wouldn't have called,
quote, not at all.
I would have said, to hell with this this but when something's this important you take whatever
steps are necessary he's a man now uh something else they just talk and talk about in the article
is how he's got like dark like marks all around his eyes and around his face like it looks like
he has like a raccoon mask almost and that is from he says quote it's from the mace uh he says uh burned yeah he said they didn't let me wash the mace off that night and it burned and that is from he says quote it's from the mace uh he says uh he's burned yeah he said they didn't
let me wash the mace off that night and it burned and this is what happens so 10 years later six
years later he's got mace burns on his face because he couldn't wash it off i guess you
gotta wash that shit off amazing pretty quick yeah uh yeah it's it's i didn't know that uh yeah
he said the milk get the milk out drugs and alcohol he's talking about, too.
He said he never told anybody out of embarrassment about it.
He said that he felt stressed and depressed, but he never talked about any kind of clinical diagnosis.
He said that with reporters here, he said he acknowledged mixing alcohol and prescription drugs, but he said it wasn't a full blown dual addiction.
It was just not.
He said it was bad enough to not be good for him, but, you know, he wasn't addicted or-blown dual addiction it was just not he said it was bad
enough to not be good for him but you know he wasn't addicted or anything which sounds like
he was addicted and now he's kind of got it under control he's trying to act like he was cool
uh never got caught never went to rehab so yeah exactly that's what it is uh he said he was he
does say he was hooked on tylenol fours and percocets which are pretty fucking strong
tylenol four four i didn't even know there was anything higher than strong jesus four you have to fucking almost win a heisman trophy to get it
tylenol four yeah tylenol four man what the fuck and what was the other one uh percocet which is
we know that one here uh yeah he says uh uh when he he says quote you become self-aware you
set some good new goals you create some new
paths you realize you have to fix it that's earlier
from the in their own words then he says
I read anything that taught me
more about the economy business the
mechanics of business and any other industry that
you can be involved in outside of sports that's
what he's doing now his robbery
victims don't think he's come because right
now there's fluff pieces all around he's speaking all over the place maurice has come out great
the robbery victims are like hey uh what the fuck here uh one other thing he said he's never
apologized to us that's all we've ever wanted we didn't want him to go to jail uh one of them said
quote his new reign of positivity this is something he should have been doing all along uh expressed anger that claret never apologized and frustration at having to uh still field media
requests about this idiot that has never apologized right he said quote he still says quote i forgive
him uh some of his claret's friends this is 2013 have suggested that he tried to get his felonies
pardoned so that he can run for the soon-to-be-vacant
state representative seat that serves Youngtown.
No fucking way.
Wow.
You can't even vote for yourself, you dipshit.
Are you kidding me?
They said, after all, he's experienced everything
that his home state has to offer,
from absorbing the cheers of 100,000 at the horseshoe
to lying spent and burnt in the back of a paddy wagon.
He says, quote, who knows uh these legs are still fresh and he smiles uh i you do they do people don't need him no to do that get your own i almost feel bad for him for even thinking about that
as much as his mom and everybody else i mean i feel bad for all these people jimmy but not as
bad as i feel for nobody.
We get a pass this week.
That's the only one.
There are no other Maurice Claret's that I could find in the world.
I found similar ones, different spellings, but they're not the same.
And mistaken identity is a mistaken identity.
And nobody was mistaken this week.
So good for you guys out there.
I like that he was running for a vacated Senate seat.
Thinking about it.
He didn't even run for the combine.
He didn't even run on sand.. He didn't even run on sand.
He goes, it's not on sand, is it?
The congressional race, it's not on sand because I want to let him out.
Fuck you, Maurice.
2013, charges of domestic violence and assault were dismissed against his girlfriend there.
They were dropped.
The judge, Ann Taylor, dropped the misdemeanor charges
and taylor and taylor and then made her a nice outfit and judge ann taylor with her with her
giant fucking judge rope yeah they're huge it's very well very well uh hemmed i don't know what
the fuck the word i'm looking for is it's the word i'm looking for her plus size judge yeah
uh she said that this was a uh ashley Ashley Evans provided documentation that she completed counseling.
The domestic relations prosecutor for the case said this is not an uncommon resolution for people who don't have criminal records.
They end up getting their back together and everything and whatever.
He says 2013.
He says, I want to play rugby in the 2016 Olympics.
No, because they were supposed to make its debut in 2016.
And they said, what are you fucking stupid?
I can't believe he has goals.
No.
Yeah.
Stop.
2014.
He's filed, filed to start a commercial cleaning business called Claret Cleaning Services.
Uh, he registered the business to a post office.
It's a general commercial cleaning company is the listing.
I looked for it.
It does not exist.
So I don't know if it failed or if he just said, never mind.
He just walked out in the middle of it like a combine run.
I'm not sure.
Not positive.
Sometimes he's got a clean sand.
It happens, man.
He's like the sand.
I don't do sand.
February 2015 released from probation.
He's released from probation two months ahead of schedule.
Free man.
Free man.
He says, quote, this chapter is over.
A judge here said that it was his last day on the job, and he wanted to end Claret's
probation before leaving the bench.
He called claret's
case quote one of the truly truly wonderful success stories i've had in 26 years as a judge
because he's come along to be such a great guy he speaks to the kids he's always speaking at
colleges and kids and schools and shit like that he says quote i'm not rewarding mr claret mr
claret is rewarding himself by what he accomplished. He is good now.
I would say this is the ultimate, he's good now.
I'm good now.
By a different person.
I'm fine.
The other part is how fucked up of cases has he seen that this is success?
This is the best success story ever.
He's played in a shitty football league and talked to some kids.
The man was drafted in the NFL.
Jimmy, he's good now
until january 3rd 2016 when he's traveling on interstate 71 in morrow county and on january
3rd a fellow motorist follows him for 20 minutes reported seeing him driving quite erratically
in a 2011 infinity suv that's nice five years old. Five years old, though. He could have got a two-year-old.
That's not bad.
That's how I buy my cars, man.
Come on, two years old.
Fucking new shit.
You're not going to rip me off.
So anyway.
They appreciate fast.
They do.
They do.
That's what I'm saying.
Two years.
That shit's worth half the money
and still the same car.
It's got 28,000 miles on it.
What do I care?
All right.
So his SUV is stopped after an illegal lane change.
They end up talking to him, So his SUV is stopped after an illegal lane change. He is.
They end up talking to him and he is arrested for operating a vehicle while intoxicated after he refuses to submit to a blood alcohol test or a breathalyzer.
God damn it.
So he's fucked.
Yeah. The police spokesman said callers had reported the vehicle was operating recklessly before he was stopped for the turn signal violation.
The Ohio law, anyone suspected of driving under the influence is taken to the nearest law enforcement facility for a width that has a breathalyzer.
He was transported there, refused that, refused blood.
So you're charged, asshole.
That's how that works.
911, yeah, yeah.
I'm driving down I-70.
There seems to be a car goosen he's
goosen he's clearly goosen i don't know what the technical term is i believe it's goosen pretty
sure this car is goosen like a motherfucker big time so february 10th 2016 he pleads guilty
under a deal with prosecutors and receives a 60-day suspended sentence because he was off
probation remember he's a success story and uh
he must serve two years probation and undergo a drug undergo a driver intervention program
and his license is suspended for 180 days uh july of 2018 uh he posted a post-workout photo
with the caption quote i'm smiling because i have a lot to be thankful for and a bunch of people
rip him when he does anything.
They all go, ah, you fucking jerk off.
This waste of fucking talent and all this type of shit.
And Kirk Herbstreet, who's the college football analyst dipshit.
Asshole.
He tweets.
He's fucking defending him all the time.
He tweets, quote, what a shame.
Completely disagree when someone said he's a waste of talent.
Quote, this kid turned his life around.
He's winning his life every day so proud of him he's reaching so many kids this uh so many kids
this in this era of athletes need to hear his story god bless him for sharing his challenging
his challenging story not always about results on the field uh so yeah people are defending him
so disappointed yeah he's a great guy. God damn it.
The man could have been on his way to a fucking murder.
Yeah.
You dipshit.
Very easily.
How do you know, Kirk?
Of a robbery victim witness.
Fucking asshole.
That's what the mobsters do.
Herb Street, bite your fucking mouth.
Somebody take his Twitter from him.
Fuck that guy.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, he's a new Skip Bayless.
That's the most reckless fucking thing to say. He's a new skip balis unbelievable that's the most
reckless fucking thing he's a good guy how dare you defend a criminal there has not been any
negative thing written about him nothing even the fucking the driving under the influence yeah
a blip it was like he's great and he's gonna go back to doing great because everything's fine now
don't give a they just blew right past that like it never happened it's like since he's going to go back to doing great because everything's fine now. They just blew right past that.
It never happened.
Since he's been released from jail in 2010, life's been wonderful.
Oh, yeah, and he got arrested for that shit.
Remember that?
He's doing, like we said, all sorts of shit everywhere in terms of speeches and everything, colleges.
He awards a scholarship to a walk-on athlete at Austin Peay in 2018.
October 2018,
he talks about Ohio State defensive end Nick Bosa,
that guy who withdrew from school
to prepare for the draft.
He says he agrees with the guy's
decision, doesn't fucking blame him,
and says, and this is actually smart
Maurice Claret here for once,
he says in their own words,
quote, kids who have an opportunity to make an enormous amount
of money being the first overall pick.
This guy can probably make a hundred million dollars over his career.
I wouldn't go out there and risk it for a national championship.
It's just not worth it.
It comes down to basic common sense.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
Why are you going to throw away your whole life so some coach can get a fucking ten million
dollar extension next year?
Fuck that guy. Finally, that guy finally making some sense don't you wish you had this common
sense fucking 10 years ago that's the thing you dipshit shit an event with him in 2018 it says
quote just i picked a rant because there's literally a trillions every day he's doing
he's doing 20 a month uh quote national champion buckeye maurice claret will be joining us
in worship to give his testimony of overcoming bad decisions and trials to living a life worth meaning were of worth and meaning.
Join us that day for his words of inspiration and a time of fun afterwards with a tailgate party on Church Street.
Oh, God, get down to taking from the most vulnerable of people in church goers.
He says that people who, his response to people
who thinks that what he's doing now
is an act,
he says, quote,
I'm not mad, I understand it.
He is now the director
of the Archway Institute,
whatever that is.
I like the cookies.
I like the cookies.
Can't get enough of Maurice.
MauriceClairetOnline.com.
That's his website?
That is his website.
It has him listed as Maurice Claret Brands.
All of his brands.
Quote, entrepreneur, public speaker, consultant.
Maurice Claret has created a brand that has allowed him success in the worlds of athletics, education, and business.
Take athletics off that list.
His ability to educate and empower people to reach their goals personally and professionally has led him to work with the nation's top businesses and professionals click on the tabs below to see
all of what the maurice claret claret brand can offer you wow some goose i want i want brands to
be with a z yeah brands bitches uh follow him on twitter yeah at reese claret 13 uh r-E-E-S-E, Claret13, he has tweeted 38,000 times.
So that's a lot, 38,000 times.
He's a talking motherfucker.
He follows 1,187 people, and he has 82,000, 82.9 thousand followers.
He's crushing me.
So good for him.
He's beating us out.
Good for you, Maurice.
Still can't get enough go on i have amazon maurice clarette autographed ohio state buckeyes 8x10
photo uh it's him running all looking all cool uh 29.99 plus 5.95 shipping only nine left in stock
jimmy hurry order soon uh there and also he is doing a podcast. Oh, boy. A podcast, Business and Biceps, by Maurice Claret, Corey Gregory, and John Fosco.
He needs two other dudes?
Yeah.
Hosted by three serial entrepreneurs who have experienced incredible highs and brutal lows.
Maurice Claret, Corey Gregory, and John Fosco.
We take you through the process of identifying and applying the building blocks of what it
takes to become a better and more effective person.
Business and Biceps is a podcast that stands out from the crowd.
1,524 ratings.
Wow.
So we're kicking the shit out of them there.
You can have Twitter go, fuck your mother.
We'll take the podcast ratings.
Five star average on it.
So the people who like it do like that.
And that, my friends friends is maurice
claret you've asked for it and now you got it enjoy i'm i'm i'm really worried about cory and
john oh they're gonna rob those fuckers oh there's something bad's gonna happen but he apparently is
doing splendidly now everybody says what a great guy he is and he's doing great. And as long as he keeps from public goosing,
maybe things will work out okay for Maurice Claret.
Let's hope for all of our sakes.
As a Denver Bronco fan,
Maurice, go fuck yourself.
And I rooted for him so hard
to beat the NCAA and the NFL
because I thought he had a right
to go make a living if he fucking wanted to.
Tennis players can play when they're 16.
Hockey players can be signed when they're 15.
Oh, Jesus.
Soccer players, forget it.
You can sign a baseball player at 16.
Anybody else who's not a football player, basically.
At basketball, one year of college, they figured out how to hold them, too.
Funny, the two blackest sports are the ones where there's requirements for how long you
have to stay there and make them money.
Jesus Christ. So there's that. When you were have to stay there and make them money. Jesus Christ.
So there's that.
When it was drafted by the Broncos, there was so much hope.
I was jacked about it.
Could have been great.
But no, behind the scenes, you knew it was happening now.
Blew it.
So yes, if you like that story, iTunes, please get on there.
Apple Podcasts, the purple icon, whatever the fuck it is.
Five stars would be wonderful if you could do that.
Just tell us you're following instructions.
Following instructions, following following directions or instructions if you just want to save some time if you're maurice claret we understand that we
get it maurice sorry buddy we apologize hey you know what i get it i understand so uh all that
please do all that head over to shut up and give me murder.com you can get all your merchandise
tickets to live shows.
God damn it, come out and see us.
After this weekend, there's only one more weekend left of four live shows.
I think there's tickets left to most of them because they're in giant theaters.
So please buy them and don't let us be embarrassed among our people there.
This weekend we're in Cincinnati, and I will have two tickets at the window for Maurice Claret.
Hey, come on by, Maurice.
Hey, we'll shake your hand and say what's up.
Maybe you're cool and don't flash a.45 caliber on us or keep your assault rifle at home, and we're fine.
We'll goose in the green room.
Hey, let's come on in, baby.
Free goose.
We're performing.
We get free goose if we want it.
So Jimmy's got a bottle of bullet.
I don't know.
You can substitute.
We'll see.
We'll puff on something.
Let's see what happens.
Jimmy, you can smoke in the green room. So come on over maurice you're invited to philly everybody can't wait to see you uh do that also uh our special people that we need to talk
about here they're not like handicapped no they're not like you know but they're pretty
they're not challenged but they're special uh in a way to us our patreon and our paypal people if
you want to make a donation uh you can uh go over to Shut Up and Give Me Murder,
which has links that take you to Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports,
or to make a one-time donation over at PayPal, you can just use our email address,
which is CrimeandSports at gmail.com.
You want to get a hold of the show, it's at Crime and Sports on Facebook,
at Crime and Sports on Twitter, crime and sports on twitter at small town murder on instagram do that and jimmy i would like you
right now to rob me at gunpoint with the list of my most favorite people in the world hit me with
it jimmy this week's executive producers and no particular order of importance are michael kennedy
stephen rude lisa hewitt chrissy and Costaldi. Again, God damn it. Thank you.
Thank you, Chrissy.
By the way, he's lying.
He meticulously ranked them in order of importance to him.
I mean, it took him an hour.
So don't.
If your backgrounds were looked into, it was a very, it's a process.
Candice Kennedy, thank you so much, by the way, for all the gifts. Yeah, we appreciate it.
Thank you.
Carrie Clark, thank you very, very much.
That was a very sweet gift.
Jennifer Lamb and Leah Egan, who is our Patreon. She's terrific. Thank you so much. One thank you very, very much. That was a very sweet gift. Jennifer Lamb and Leah Egan, who is our patron.
She's terrific.
Thank you so much.
One of the Leah Egan sisters.
We'll see her in Boston.
Hey, awesome.
Can't wait.
This week's other producers are Hunter Perry, Scott Wiles, Bill Sosinski, Nicole Vaughn,
Margie Kunze, who's been around forever.
Oh, gosh.
She's the best.
We're not saying you're old.
You've been with us forever.
She's like Methuselah, this Margie boy.
This Margie.
What is she, 90, 100?
Christ almighty.
How is she still alive?
Stephanie Aigoa, Jennifer Levinson, Hannah Turley, Reagan, Reagan, Reagan Shalke, Shackley.
No, it's Shalkley.
Reagan, Reagan, Reagan Shalke.
Reagan, you're terrific.
Thank you, Reagan, Reagan, Reagan. Under reagan reagan you're terrific thank you under the sea fabrics again thank you sarah carter uh molly hewitt i think no that was lisa hewitt so
molly hewitt uh lauren demar damn it lauren demarath uh cammy yokum uh patricia grace paul
ruist paul ruist is the man thank you paul You are a good dude. We appreciate you. Casey Hundle or Handle.
Alyssa and Barbara Rouse.
Jesse Hartman, who I mentioned is handsome as a motherfucker.
He already got his shout out.
Lucky son of a bitch.
You told everyone how much you wanted to fucking blow him.
I think that was good enough for a shout out.
He looks like the guy that fucked, what's his name's wife in, God, what's his name?
God damn.
You're giving me nothing to go on.
Literally, I can't even have half of that equation.
Just a guy who fucked another guy's wife.
Could be anybody.
Is it a long-came poly?
It is a long-came poly.
Okay.
He banged the chick from Will and Grace.
Okay, okay, fair enough.
He looks like him.
Good for you, Jesse.
Hey, nice job. Jessica
Pilkington, Shalima
Shalima Althaus, or Althaus?
There you go. Althaus.
Crystal Lamb, Manj Senga over there
in Europe. Manj, thanks, brother. Thank you, Manj. You're a hell of a dude.
Amanda with no last name. Patrick
Haggerty, Ricky
Fitzpatrick, Miranda Lightholder,
Martina
Liluanga. Wow, Martina Liloanga.
Oh, Martina.
Yeah, it's our girl there.
I'm not going to say her last name.
Oh, she's the best.
Martina.
She's terrific.
Hey, Martina.
We love you.
Thank you.
Catherine Collada.
Jennifer.
Shit.
What have I done?
Jennifer.
Quote.
Shit.
What have I done?
Sapienza.
Sapienza.
That's what it is.
That's a P or F.
Is that an F?
Sapienza. Jennifer, you're amazing. Hey's a P or F is that an F Sapienza Jennifer you're amazing
hey Paisan
good job Jennifer
Stephen Crumley
Greg Stevens
Stephen Clark
Gary Howard
who also sent a gift
thank you Gary
thank you
Matthew Dietrich
Tegan Bailey
Lindsay Rustin
or Rustan
Ashley Vio
she's fucking
she's been around for
thank you Ashley
yeah she's cool
you're so nice to us we
appreciate it uh trevor j atkins uh kim jisu uh tyler sheets sarah hines uh rachel nieves or
neves uh justin miller around every goddamn yeah thank you justin uh taryn fryer elizabeth farrell
bryant tool dr gregles uh sierra mcgillivary mcgillivary fuckingary. McGillivary. Fucking McGillivary.
McGillivary.
Your mouth just didn't want to make that noise.
Fucking what?
Chrissy Corbiel.
Blaine with no last name.
Justin Byrne.
Rachel.
No, yes.
Rachel Kiskaiden.
I just argued with my head and my eyes.
William Northcutt.
Cindy Oak.
No, Sydney Oaks.
That's what that is.
It's a C-Y-D-I.
Yeah, that's why it fucked me.
Sydney Oaks.
James Fraker.
Yeah, that's a dude down in L.A.
James.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Cool.
Thank you.
Zach Martin.
Jerry Hutton.
Wilson FX LLC.
Julie Bailey.
No, Emil.
Emil Svenrup. That's a tough one that's a meal it's
a meal hey emil how you doing tim maney john watson uh tiffany gonzalez michael michael
heidner uh fayenez i think that's right uh mariah mariah men here hey mariah thank you mariah catmandu real estate carrie gage uh erica green raymond briggs uh
kirst kirstie flatyard uh flitch yord i don't know it's fucking swiss right i'll say it's fast
just do a real short that's there that's kirstie thank you thank you jessica christensen mark
morgan elliott renee mccauley kelly uh telena johnena johnson oh that's telene i don't think telene is her name
that she goes on facebook jensen i recognize and i think it's different i'm not sure that's a i'm a
dope uh jennifer riddicott uh ross heatherington uh ariana folsom thank you ariana uh cody leversy
yeah yes uh jamie jubert jamie jubert and spelled different that's yeah that's why i giggle uh
christopher bataglia uh nicole rivas junior perry uh jamie sullivan peyton meadows jordan seawort
and this was two weeks so it's a little bit yeah yeah that's all good thank you nicola gaskin
jessica ivory no lowry i want what am i doing uh liz nice slice smith she was up there in uh minnesota thank
you uh delaney inman jacinda jacinda minor uh josh smith jared waters kevin wilson sean wickham
maggie l veronica wolf lover what no wolf lover wolf lova wolf lo. Well, thank you. Veronica with a K.
Fucks me every time.
Krista Zachman.
Ryan Golbeck.
Amanda Brustad.
Yes.
Danielle.
Danielle Belusi.
But I think that's a dude.
I think it's Daniel. Yeah, it's Daniel.
We've gone over this before.
Daniel Belusi.
Sorry, Daniel.
Sorry, man.
I'm an idiot.
Charlene Zamler.
Gisela Garbo.
Fucking damn it.
Gisela Garbo. Gisela Garbo. Garbo. Fucking damn it. Gisela Garbo.
Gisela Garbo.
What a mess.
Gisela Garbo.
Gisela Garbo.
Gisela Garbo.
Gisela Garbo.
Yes.
Boom.
Seven times the charm.
Brian Price, Danielle Rucker Vieira, Rachel Robbins, Morgan Gibson, Patrick Mitchell,
designed by Lucas, Natalie Martin
Chinch.
No, Martin Chich.
Martin and then Chich.
Okay.
Martin Chich.
This is difficult.
Jamie Sullivan, Indiana Quilon, Kaina Jams?
Kaina Jams.
I think that's right.
Okay.
It's probably Kaina Junis or Janice.
Kaina Janice. Okay. I think that's right. Okay. It's probably Kaina Junis or Janice. Kaina Janice.
Okay.
I think that's right.
There we go.
Zach Stevens, Katie Polis, Amy Grake, Grace Eccles, Isaac Stemple, Paul Landis, Mary McKenzie,
Laughton, no, Lawton, Lawton Melmop.
That's what it is.
Mike Miller, Emily Rose.
Emily Rose.
I think that's the gal up in Emily Rose, I think that's Gallup in New Hampshire.
I think that's her.
Matthew Waller, Delaney Trotter, Justice Byrne, David Calvert, Chris Norris, Janae Content,
Patty Vincent, Beth Charlton or Carlton, Rachel Fake or I think that's right,
Cor Flores, Catherine Hardwick, Danny Way, walter esterby and lee stevens you guys are
amazing thank you thank you so much everybody we can't thank you honestly you guys keep this show
going and you you keep us and we just can't thank you enough i don't even know what the words are
you keep us flying uh unlike maurice claret not into a brick wall so thank you for that so much
and what if these people wanted to keep you flying, Jimmy?
Where can they find you?
You can find me at Wismansucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N sucks on Twitter and Instagram and Snapchat.
Swip chat?
Swip chat.
It's definitely Snapchat.
Yeah, it is.
Instructions.
Follow instructions and go to Snipchit.
Follow Jimmy.
Tell me how your week was.
I appreciate it.
Where can they tell you?
Oh, boy.
Over, you can find me at Jimmy P is funny and find me there or copy and paste my last
name from the show description and plug it all into there.
I'm going to actually start doing stupid Instagram this week more.
I have an Instagram.
It's my name.
It's James Petrogallo.
For once, for once, that fucking lawyer in Pittsburgh didn't jump me and take the shit
like he did on Twitter.
So you can follow me over there and I'll start posting poor shit on there.
Yeah.
Pictures of your all-sugar Mountain Dew.
Those are bad.
Or your pictures of your Lawrence Taylor bimbo.
All sorts of shit.
The pop fucking thing?
Funko.
Funko.
I have other Lawrence Taylor memorabilia.
That's besides the point.
Snapchat, all that stuff.
Follow us, do that.
Instagram, whatever.
There we go.
Thank you guys so much.
Live from the Crime and Sports studios,
we will see you next week.
Bye.
Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music.
Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts.
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