Crime in Sports - #151 - Swerving Out Of The Fast Lane - The Edginess of Lyndon "LB" Byers
Episode Date: February 26, 2019This week, we skate full speed into the boards, with a guy that we can't help but find entertaining, and a bit likable. He was a professional goon, fighting his way into the NHL, and hanging ...on for years with his tenacity. He had more fights than 5 average boxers, combined. He also liked to live on the edge, off the ice, where his drinking, and partying exploits are of are legendary proportions. This leads to terrible driving, among other problems, and lands him in jail, but he gets out in time to appear in several Hollywood fils, and tv shows. It's one crazy life!! Fight multiple people in the same day, never take a Breathalyzer, and always start an argument with a punch with Lyndon "LB" Byers!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports.
Yay!
Oh, yay indeed, Jimmy, yay indeed.
My name is James Petrigallo.
I'm here with my co-host.
I am Jimmy Westman.
Thank you folks so much for joining us.
We're pumped.
We're excited today.
Today we have an episode.
The last week we had a pretty gruesome,
we had a murder and the whole deal.
It was a lot.
Today we have an episode where we rarely get episodes
where we go,
that's not too big of an asshole.
Where we go, kind of like this where we go kind of like this guy
yeah kind of like this girl or you know amanda amanda malone even all the way to the end even
all the way to the end amanda malone type or like you know a couple of a couple of blips but you
know you're kind of a likable person delete a couple roundhouses and she's amazing that's what
i mean yeah a couple of bad photos and everything else, and her life is fine. But this guy here, we're going to have fun with, and we actually, I know you know who
he is for a fact, because you've spent time in a confined room with him, as a matter of
fact.
How many professional athletes have you spent time in a confined space with?
Very few.
So few.
In the last year, as a matter of fact, you've spent time in a confined space.
What?
Are you narrowing it down?
No. Okay, we'll talk about it, he spent time in a confined space. What? Are you narrowing it down? No.
Okay.
I'll let him think about it.
If you think about it, we'll talk about it when we're done here.
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you guys for everything that you do for us and uh we're going to give you a funny episode this week in return and also to thank you everyone who came
out to west palm beach for the small town murder live show last week because man was that a great
show florida does not let us down in terms of craziness because the crowd was awesome and crazy
in the best way possible my favorite part was hugging the lady at the end of the show and she told me to be gentle because she had
a piece. Yeah, this was an
older woman and she
was cool as shit. The sweetest woman
I've ever met. An older woman packing a
piece in the front row of our show.
Which at first made me a little scared
and then I went, no, I think she's on our side though. I feel
safe now. If anybody comes after us,
she's going to pump a few into their backside.
So I think we're okay here. You stay away from my jimmy yeah she would have been very upset with them so
thank you to everyone though we had a good time even got a couple people engaged yeah at the show
at the very end of the show we did that we did that we had a full a full night it was really
wild honestly congratulations what a great time but uh never mind all of that uh let's get down
to business here.
Okay.
I've been thinking through.
No, personally.
You've had extended conversation with the man.
Absolutely.
Is it Jerry Hairston Jr.?
It is not Jerry Hairston Jr.
It happened in the last year.
It is Lyndon Byers, LB.
Oh, Jesus, LB.
The hockey player.
Now, LB was really nice to you on the air.
He was amazing.
And that's the thing we're gonna say about lb is he's
not a he's he's not a he's not an asshole we'll say that he's done some idiot things but he's not
an asshole he's not we've had and lately we've had a lot of like we've had molesters and we've had
murderers and we've had a lot of wife beating and stuff like that so we're like okay let's
let's take a step back let's have some fun yeah with a hockey enforcer who just kind of led a bit of a crazy life,
had some scrapes with the law, and is just kind of a fun guy.
So we'll talk about this.
I'm so excited to find out about him.
When he told me his name, I was like, oh, yeah, that's interesting.
You should play football or something.
He was like, actually, I played hockey.
I was like, like in the NHL?
Yeah, like for a long time.
And then I told you, I met a guy that played in the NHL today.
His initials are like LB or something.
And then I know exactly who that is.
Yeah, I know who that is.
I have the background.
I got you covered here.
As a matter of fact, future episode.
That was about three months ago.
Sweetest man I've ever met.
He had such a heart.
Spoiler alert.
He does a radio show
in boston right now and they were gracious enough to have us on right this radio show went well to
have jimmy on because i i was a little early in the morning for me let's be realistic here uh had
us on the radio show we were in boston for the live show and it was like what time was it like
oh jesus i landed at 7 a.m it was 7 7.45. I drove from the airport to the radio station.
I got in the night before.
There was no way I'm setting my alarm for radio.
Because radio sells no tickets.
And this is a fact.
I opened for Al Madrigal once.
He was a very good comedian.
And in the beginning of his show, he does this every single time.
He said every single time for the last 10 years.
He asked, did anybody here buy tickets that didn't know about the show
didn't know who i am but bought tickets to come here because they heard me on the radio this
morning thought i was funny and said i need to go see that comedian he said in 10 years not one
person's ever clapped not one fucking person hysterical so to go on a radio show is completely
worthless to sell tickets and we sold i think no tickets from going on the road i think the number
at the wilbur was exactly the same yeah it's not when i went that's not their fault no
it's not their fault it's just that's just the nature of shows but but we may have they were
nice enough to have us on there which is good downloads because we don't know and we're just
appreciative that anyone will have a song because we're whores and we'll take it so thank you my
favorite part was just that somebody had called in uh that listens to the show and gave feedback about the shows.
And that was fucking incredible.
People listen because of other people telling you, not because I tell you to listen to my show.
Exactly, yeah.
Word of mouth is the most powerful thing in the world.
Someone you don't hate tells you that something is good.
If someone you hate tells you, you're like, you're never going to listen to them.
I was going to go with somebody you trust, but I think it's just that they don't hate you that's what it is i'm less likely to listen
to something someone i trust tells me than i am uh not likely to listen to something that someone
i hate tells me about i'm definitely not going to listen to that whereas if someone i trust tells me
50 50 maybe if that 30 maybe kind of stubborn so let's talk about this. Oh, I can't wait. It's Lyndon Svee Byers.
No.
His middle name is S-V-I.
What the fuck, Lyndon?
I don't know what that is.
Svee, I assume.
No wonder you go by L-B.
Yeah, Lyndon Byers.
Okay.
LB, as he's known to everyone throughout the land.
Yeah.
He is a hockey player dipping back into the brain damage sports, and there's a lawsuit
even pending that he's involved in.
Right now.
Putting him involved in that.
God damn it, LB.
Well, shit.
I mean, I hope he gets some cash out of it.
Christ almighty.
No one's suing him.
Got it.
There's an NHL concussion thing we'll talk about later that he's involved in.
Good for him.
Date of birth.
Bad for him.
Bad for him that he's had so many concussions.
But good that hopefully he'll get
something out of it because they as we found out with rudy pochek it was standard operating
procedure when he played in the 80s and 90s to just now you're fine you know guys get over it
yeah guys are like literally i'm i don't feel good and i don't see right and i'm nauseous and
they're like yeah you just skate it out you're fine like yeah don't worry about it no no you
already had a concussion so if you get another one soon it won't hurt you anymore or they told pocheck that shit
is that what they told him they were telling him you need to get out there and get a second one
to fix the first one the pocheck thing he was literally like as a hockey player with a brain
injury was saying like i don't think i'm right to play i don't think i should be playing and
the doctors were like no no you're great your brain's fine and he was like okay and then he
went out there and then as we found out he'd be driving around not knowing where he was and claiming he wasn't
driving while he's sitting in the driver's seat pulled over by a policeman with the car and drive
and the keys in the fucking ignition and his foot on the brake going i'm not driving yeah and meaning
it yeah not not being a liar in his mind he's not. He didn't remember from three seconds ago. Date of birth for LB.
This is awesome.
February 29th, 1964.
We got a leap year, boy.
A goddamn leap year kid.
So he's 10 years old, approximately.
11 years old right now.
So that's good.
What year was he born?
64.
Wow.
February 29th, 64.
He doesn't look too bad, I guess, for that age.
We'll find out why, too too because there's a reason for that
also uh he's from uh nipawin saskatchewan yeah uh which is a that rings a bell because he told
me that i go where are you from and he goes nipawan nipawin nipawin because when he said
it i go nipple wind nipple wind saskatchewan nipawin n-i-p-a-w-I-N. Nipawin, Saskatchewan, Canada, obviously.
It's that cold there?
Oh, it's chilly.
Now, this place where he's from, the current population is 4,400.
So when he's growing up, we're not near that.
Tiny town.
Yeah, there's a couple funny things we've got to tell you. Not to go too small-town murder, but there's a couple funny things.
About his town?
About his town.
I love a funny town thing here.
The town, I guess it started in 1910 and so in 1924 canadian pacific rail right railroad uh they
they put tracks uh near the town but not right by the town yeah so the town just picked up the
whole settlement and moved near to the the railroad tracks. God, Jesus.
They just were like, well, we... Alright, just move every... We'll just move
to the tracks. Because we
thought, alright, let's grab your shit.
Wouldn't it have been cheaper to be like, we'll give you
guys our moving costs if you just
move the track to us.
That's like a Polish
light bulb change is what that is.
It's like some sort of weird Saskatchewan railroad move.
How many Saskatchewanese does it take to fucking move near the railroad?
So, yeah, there's a...
That's incredible.
It's so fucking amazing.
So, yeah, this is awesome.
In 2008, not awesome, it's sad, but April 18, 2008, a downtown meat shop exploded, which
I see fiery bits of meat strewn throughout the city, which kind of is funny to me.
You don't have to cook it.
Destroying buildings.
No, you can just pick it off the side of a building and have, hmm, that's good.
It's all done.
It's ribeye, I think.
It's pretty good.
Destroyed three buildings, as well as damaging a bunch more.
The explosion killed two people.
Oh, no.
Impaled with meat and injured five.
I don't know if they burned to death or were impaled with meat.
I guess you got to throw all the meat out if two people died in that.
I think so.
Is this thigh or is this tenderloin?
Yeah, we don't know what this is.
Or is this a cow?
What is this?
What is this here?
I think I see.
It's the old hots and lungs, Henry.
Sorry, got to have a Goodfellas. It's the old hots and lungs, Henry.
Sorry, got to have a Goodfellas reference in there.
Some lips and assholes.
Yeah.
So, lips and assholes.
And a great outdoors reference.
The explosion is suspected to have been caused by a backhoe that snagged and sheared a natural gas riser from the main line.
Yep.
The explosion prompted the implementation of a state of emergency by the mayor.
That's how bad it was.
So it was a pretty crazy thing here.
They likely snagged it, didn't know, and buried everything up.
And then the gas just leaked into the building.
Ba-boom.
Yeah.
Ka-pow.
And then pow.
Insane.
And then meat everywhere.
Wow.
I mean, but the good thing is people got free steak for three miles in every direction.
So some people were happy about it.
So there is that. Two people were not. Three? Hey, hey honey there's a tenderloin in the hood of the car did you
all right well let's just i guess throw it on the grill early postmates fuck it yeah
early postmates yeah that's what it is uber meat is what that was called
you you motherfucker it'sats. That is fantastic.
You motherfucker.
I just went through the delivery services in my head.
First one was Postmates.
And the obvious great one is Uber Meats.
And I missed it.
Fuck.
Sorry.
I felt like Scotty Smalls right there in the outfield trying to catch the ball, and I just stumbled and screamed, Postmates!
Benny screamed for the end of it.
Uber Meats!
Smalls!
Super Meats!
Shit, he fucking missed it.
He said he's a Postmates.
Mac, they know Uber Meats was better.
He didn't get it.
That was amazing. Just throw it better. He didn't get it. That was amazing.
Just throw it in.
I can't throw it.
Can I roll it?
And I'll just kick it in.
All right.
I'm lightheaded.
Good.
That's a good way to start.
We're 13 minutes in and you're lightheaded.
That's the way I like to roll on this show, goddammit.
Holy shit.
It's a thing of beauty.
So, yeah, in hockey, he's a right winger.
He is six foot tall, 200 pounds, about six.
Not all he is.
He was back when he played.
Now he's beefier than that.
No, I mean height.
Height-wise, it's weird because I see him listed everywhere as six foot or 6'1", but
on IMDB, he's listed at 6'4", somehow.
I know I'm a short man, but that guy fucking towers. footer 6'1", but on IMDb he's listed at 6'4", somehow. That sounds...
I know I'm a short man, but that
guy fucking towers.
He was, we'll talk about, he made a bar
rescue appearance, and he's
a pretty big guy. Like, next to John
Taffer, he was a formidable force.
So, yeah, size-wise, though, it's
who the fuck knows.
He plays in the Saskatchewan Junior
Hockey League in 1980-81 for the Notre Dame Midget Hounds.
Oh.
I don't know if those are hounds that seek out midgets.
That seems racist.
That's what I mean.
Or something.
Yeah.
That seems terrible.
Get them, boy.
Why are they hunting midgets?
What's going on?
Don't hunt little people.
It's a midget hound or a hound midget?
Midget hound.
Okay.
So that's what they're called, the Notre Dame midget hounds.
Interesting.
I guess they're going after small people.
I guess they're the hounds, but they're the small hounds.
Right, the tiny ones.
And they used to just call them midgets because they're heartless people.
I'll bet they're not called that today.
No, probably not.
So he plays in 35 games there.
He has 35 goals and 42 assists in one year there in 37 games.
That sounds great.
Which is fantastic. is fantastic and 106
penalty minutes oh boy he fights uh a lot is the best way to put it a fucking lot like a really
really extreme amount great that i was nice to him he's oh he would kick he dude he could be
sleeping and beat you up like he could be dreaming that someone was fucking with him and he would
just pummel you in his sleep.
He's a big, beefy, tough son of a bitch.
And man, he could take a punch and everything.
He's a tough guy.
81-82, he plays for the Regina Pats.
All right! Our team, baby.
We have Regina Pats hats
that we were sent from a listener because
I believe Mike Danton played for them.
And we said the Regina Pats sound like
a venereal disease. It sounds like I just got back from the doctor. I said the Regina Pats sound like a venereal disease.
It sounded like I just got back from the doctor.
I have the Regina Pats, so we can't do anything tonight.
They told me it should clear up in about three days. I can get down to business.
We're going to have to wear a condom for a week, though, because it's a little messy.
They still hang around a little bit.
It's still contagious.
You know how the Regina Pats are.
Who hasn't had a case of those?
They call it that because you walk around just patting your Regina.
Patting it around.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
This is in the Western Hockey League.
He plays 57 games that year, 18 goals, 25 assists, which is still pretty goddamn good,
and 169 penalty minutes.
Good Christ.
Fuck, yeah.
17 fights that year.
Wowza.
For Regina. That's a good amount
in 57 games not too bad so 1982 uh in the nhl entry draft and uh this year let's talk about
some of these guys who i don't know in 82 yeah i've heard of some of these guys who were in like
you know early 90s sega games but i don't. The number one pick overall, care to guess? No. It's by the Bruins
and it's not LB. I'll give you a guess, though.
Go ahead.
Gord Kluzak.
I know that was either
Gord Kluzak or one other guy
I know, usually.
Gord? Gord. G-O-R-D?
G-O-R-D. I assume it's short for
Gordon, I hope. Gord Kluzak?
But Kluzak? I think Gord is his first name. That might be. I bet for Gordon. I hope. Gord Kluzak. But Kluzak, I think Gord is his first name.
That might be.
I bet it is.
We name him Gord Kluzak.
Big, giant Eastern European people.
It sounds Klingon as fuck.
And they give him vodka when he's three months old.
It'd make his skin tough.
What?
Why?
Otherwise, he frees to death.
He frees to death.
That's what happened in winter.
So, a few guys here I actually have heardes to death. That's what happened in winter.
So a few guys here I actually have heard of.
Gary Nyland I've heard of.
Brian Bellows went No. 2 to Minnesota.
I've heard of him.
Scott Stevens played forever.
Played 1,600 games.
Career, I remember him for a long time.
Phil Housley I remember.
Sounds familiar.
Yeah, that's the kind of guys in the top seven.
And then it gets down to guys I don't remember so well.
A couple guys I do, Dave Andrachuk, I remember him.
You know, people like that.
Second round, though.
Number 39 overall by the Boston Bruins.
They pick Linden.
They pick LB.
So, second round.
Their second pick. Their second pick.
I think it's their second pick, unless they traded from another team or whatever.
Their first pick in the second round.
It's actually, no, they had a second round first. It's their third pick. They had the first another team or whatever. Their first pick in the second round. It's actually, no, they had a second round first.
It's their third pick.
They had the first pick in the second round, first pick in the first round.
Oh, you said 38 or 39?
Their pick 39 is Linden.
He goes there out of old Regina there.
Around him, I don't know, some other guys.
Ray Ferraro went in the fifth round, who played forever.
And Doug Gilmore went in the seventh round. Don't know that one.
Played forever also.
Another guy who played a long time.
Those are the only names I recognize.
Yeah, this is, I mean, otherwise it's just, you said it already.
It's just Sega names.
That's what I mean.
From playing the, what's his goddamn name?
Wayne Gretzky.
I just thought it was Sega NHL 93 was my jam.
I played it later. There was a Wayne Gretzky game too, it was Sega NHL 93 was my jam I played it later
there was a Wayne Gretzky
game too right
I believe
on Sega
oh yeah he had one too
oh you know what
I did play it
93 was the last one
where you punch him
and then he would bleed
right
and that was fun
and it was like
NHL live 93 right
something
it was NHL hockey 93
whoever made the NBA live 95
it was the same
same designer
because it looked exactly the same
it was EA Sports
oh okay
that's why.
I remember that game.
Always good shit, EA.
Yeah, so we're not hockey experts.
That's the thing.
We can talk baseball, football, basketball.
I know some boxing.
I'll get a bunch wrong.
Don't know shit about MMA or auto racing or anything like that.
But hockey, know a little drop, but not, like it's not cricket.
Like I know how it goes and I've heard of some of the guys and I know shit like that, but we don't, it's not cricket right like i know how it goes and i've heard of
some of the guys and i know shit like that but uh we don't it's not we're not i really find our
ignorance charm yeah i like the pace of hockey and it's and it's a fun thing to watch but
fantastic now it's much more fun with the with the rules that they deleted that i didn't understand
in the first place but nobody fights anymore it's like baseball they've eliminated this fucking
baseball with the instant replay eliminating manager arguments like we fights anymore it's like baseball they've eliminated this fucking baseball
with the instant replay eliminating manager arguments like we talked about it's kind of
like they're they try they've intentionally tried to up scoring and lower fighting right
which is that's not why people go that's not well yeah hockey is for they're trying to get a new
audience for hockey and hockey is one of those things where it's i feel like it's your family
either your family watched it growing up and you watched it with them or you don't like hockey yeah that's it you have to be indoctrinated
early ingrained in you that you love it yeah and then you'll you'll be into it because it is a
great sport it is it's cool yeah i've seen it live uh a handful of times and it's some of the most
fun i've ever had it's great uh so 82 83 plays for the regina pats again while he's uh you know
under the uh he's owned owned by the while he's owned by the Bruins.
He was 17 when he got drafted.
My Christ, that's cool.
Which is cool as shit, as we know as we complained about the NCAA.
Not possible there.
Not possible like in the NFL with the Maurice Claret episode here.
He plays in 70 games that year.
Has 32 goals, 38 assists,
which is 70 points in 70 games.
That's incredible.
That's great.
153 penalty minutes.
My man.
I don't know how he has time for all of these goals and assists
in between fights.
Right.
It's really, he's got a hectic schedule.
Yeah.
He's really busy.
Seems like when he scores a goal,
he gets really pissed off.
Then he goes and fucking pummels a man.
Yeah.
How dare you let me score on you, you son of a bitch. Bast gets really pissed off. Then he goes and fucking pummels a man. How dare you let me score
on you, you son of a bitch.
He gets in 11 fights
that year. Next is
the Canadian Junior World Championships
team. This is the under 20
year old team here.
This is, they play
basic, oh by the way, he had 15 fights
with Regina in 83-84 also.
In the 58, he played 83-84, he had 15 fights with Regina in 83-84 also. In the 58, he played 83-84.
He has 58 games with Regina, 32 goals, 57 assists, 154 penalty minutes, 15 fights.
And then also that year, he plays for the Canadian Junior World Championship team.
What a humbling name that league is.
Yeah, it's under 20.
Junior?
Junior.
You're a professional hockey player. Yeah, well, it's the under 20. Junior? Junior. You got to be called. You're a professional hockey player.
Yeah, well, it's the under 20.
It's the World Championship.
So it's like off your Olympic shit, basically.
Like they do the Goodwill Games for basketball and shit like that, I feel like.
Still sounds shitty.
Yeah.
In this tournament here, the Soviet Union wins the tournament, followed by Finland,
Czechoslovakia, Canada, number four, out of the medal, just barely.
And then Sweden, the U.S., West Germany.
This is when the Germanys were still separate.
Yep.
And Switzerland, number eight.
Okay.
So the next year, they were relegated to the B pool.
Okay.
So teams of places where it's not as cold, I assume.
The B pool's like Greece.
Brazil.
United Arab Emirates.
Yeah.
Not a real good hockey team coming out of there, probably.
So, 83-84, he finally gets called up to Boston for a little taste.
Plays in 10 games with the Bruins and scores two goals and four assists, actually, in 10 games,
which is pretty damn good. 32 penalty minutes in 10 games, which is pretty damn good.
32 penalty minutes in 10 games.
Not too shabby.
Has two fights in 10 games.
But he had, like I said, some goals and some assists there.
84-85, he plays a little bit minors and a little bit up with Boston.
He plays for the Hershey Bears of the American Hockey League.
Like Hershey, Pennsylvania. Plays for them. up with boston he plays for the hershey bears really of the american hockey league like hershey
pennsylvania plays for them uh 27 games played four goals six assists 55 penalty minutes only
three fights in 27 games i don't know if they told him to chill out down there slb what the
hell are you doing you lazy bastard now uh 80 45 with b, 33 games played, three goals, eight assists, and 41 penalty minutes.
Four fights.
Yeah.
So he's getting into the groove a little bit.
And now we're going to see him really blossom.
I mean, this guy, as a fighter, blossom doesn't even begin to put it into words.
He really, really fights a lot.
It's impressive, honestly.
For hockey, it's great. impressive honestly as i you know for hockey it's great it's it's all it's
all kind of in the rules yeah every other sport it's an automatic you're fucking out you're
throwing a punch in hockey it's like well you know i mean was it the third fight they were in
today because if not what the other team do i mean come on you know let them let them scrap a little
bit so it's fine in the NFL, it's like...
You throw a punch, you're done.
Spousal abuse.
There's no excuse.
You can't do it.
None.
You're out.
You're done.
But if you beat your wife, you can play still.
You can go.
Yeah, absolutely.
Jesus, you'll be back soon.
What the fuck is that?
Unless it's on film.
Don't hit a player on the field.
Unless it's on film.
You hit your wife at home and it's not taped?
Yeah.
We have plausible deniability.
Then we can kind of shrug our shoulders and go, well, we weren't there.
We don't know.
We don't know.
What'd she say to us?
Silver, silver.
They can spread some, I call it sprinkling some silver on the situation.
It's like just a little pixie dust over the top.
Sprinkle a little silver on it, it goes right away.
Man.
So, 85, 86, he spends some time in the in the minor some time up with the bruins he plays
for the monkton golden flames yeah plays 14 games there whatever the fuck that is yeah and then the
milwaukee admirals uh plays eight games there and then he plays uh five games with the uh with the
bruins that year in five games he has assists, and he also has four fights.
Wow.
In five games.
Jesus.
This is pretty fucking awesome.
What kind of money do you think he's making at this time in his life?
This time, I bet under $100,000 a year.
It's got to be, right?
He's probably making $75,000 a year, $80,000 a year.
Good God.
I know in the late 80s, he was making like $150,000,
things like that.
And hockey didn't really take off until the 90s in terms of salaries.
I mean, for big guys, Wayne Gretzky got paid like a motherfucker.
Mario Lemieux had a huge check.
Yeah, those guys.
But I mean, in the 90s, the average salary really jumped up.
There was a different bargaining agreement and all that type of shit.
No one's coming to see Gord.
That's no one's coming to see Gord Kluzak, number one overall or not.
No one is coming to see gourd and lb had more
career games played i believe than gourd no kidding so he beat the number one pick that year
way to go lb good for him here 86 87 uh with boston he plays in 18 games uh two goals three
assists uh 30 53 penalty minutes six fights overall not too shabby, good for you guy
now 87-80
good for you, you're working it pal
87-88 Boston
Boston gets pretty god damn good at this point too
so he's going now with a team
that's going deep into the playoffs
which makes him kind of a
if you're an enforcer on a good team
you will be beloved by that city
forever as we see this guy
we'll find out still has a job in boston so and in the public forum that tells you right there
it really that's the most unless you're scoring an immense amount of goals enforcers the beloved
position genetically by a tough city built for this oh yeah his head is a fucking cinder block
his he yeah we cannot express to you the
bulkiness of his head yeah like like i said on the bar rescue his head's twice the size of all
the other normal humans there and taffer has a huge head right he's like a big fucking easter
island statue anyway and lb's head is wider than his he's a big dude he's a big like yeah he's a
big guy uh 87 88 boston they go 44 306 that year, but they go deep into the playoffs.
They beat Buffalo in the first round.
Sabres.
Sabres.
Montreal in the second round.
Expos.
Yes.
Absolutely.
Gary Carter was playing goalie for them back in that time.
Are they the Canadians?
They're the Canadians, yes.
And then 4-3 in seven games, they beat New Jersey in the conference finals and go Canadians? They're the Canadians, yes. And then 4-3, they had seven games.
They beat New Jersey
in the conference finals
and go all the way
to the Stanley Cup finals
in 87-88.
He played in the finals.
Played in the finals
and lost,
got swept by Edmonton.
That is the,
I believe,
Gretzky-Messier teams
that were fucking dominant.
You know, I mean,
that was before he went to LA.
Goddamn team.
Yeah, that's just,
they're a good fuck.
They were a really good team.
And it's so weird that Edmonton, of all cities, which is barely a town, has, sorry Edmonton,
but I know people from Edmonton.
I've met them, and they're all like, yeah, not a lot going on in Edmonton.
It's pretty bleak there.
But they end up with all of these great players, and they do well.
That year, he plays, LB plays in 53 games.
So he's really in the mix.
10 goals, 14 assists, and 236 penalty minutes.
Holy shit.
32 fights.
32 fights.
He spent over three hours sitting in a penalty box.
Just hanging out in there for the whole season.
Wow.
So I don't know if they doc you pay for that.
I doubt it.
No.
Because it's in there for a goddamn reason.
He's helping the team.
32 fights.
That is absolutely fucking amazing.
That's awesome.
They're good fights.
Oh, they're good fights.
He's got a good uppercut.
Yeah.
He's got a nice uppercut to him.
He'll start throwing down at the drop of a hat it's over he's gonna start fucking wailing on somebody
and uh he's a fun guy to watch fight too he's not a boring fight he's a good fight good he's
like a probert yeah like he's a good a slugger a good probert kind of fighter yeah this year he
fights you know craig barubi guys i recognize their names here a little bit i like god damn
he fights january 11th january 13th january 14th and
then fights another he fights two different guys on the 14th wow never mind fighting the six a lot
of times you'll see the same guys fight because they'll fight a little in the beginning and then
later on they'll get together and they continue it and you know in these fights this might be
more dangerous of a fight than in boxing because they are throwing haymakers well it's bare-fisted
as hard as they can once the helmet's off rightmakers. Well, it's bare-fisted.
As hard as they can.
Once the helmet's off, anytime bare-fisted is dangerous.
And then also, the other part that's dangerous is if you actually go down, there's also ice to hit your fucking head on, which is as solid as a rock.
And you're unconscious?
And you're on ice skates.
Right.
So most people would advise, hey, don't get hit in the head while on a slippery surface
on fucking razor blades on your feet.
That'd probably be dangerous because then you might fall at it again.
So he fought in five days, six different fights, six different fights, all different guys.
I mean, we're talking 11th, 13th, 14th and two fights on the 14th.
Oh, then the 20th.
He fights two different guys again.
The 21st fighting again.
The 23rd back to Craig Berube again. The 21st, fighting again. The 23rd, back to Craig Berube again that he fought the month before.
So he's just fighting.
I mean, that's almost, that's goddamn near every game he's getting in a fight in.
And he's winning a lot of these fights.
That's awesome.
Based on my personal judgment.
Yeah.
And also different websites' judgments.
He's winning a lot of these goddamn, not losing a whole bunch of them, put it that way.
He's doing pretty well here. Goddamnary 12th february 17th he fights two different guys again
on the 17th february to march 5th march 6th fight fight 20 22nd 24th fight fight april 6th he fights
the same oh he carved clark gillies he fought twice that day two Two in one day. Two in one day with the same guy, which is common.
April 18th, April 22nd, May 6th, May 8th.
Just a shitload of fights.
And they're surprised that these people have issues later.
Oh, yeah.
Shocked by it. Not only surprised, they're going to legally fight the fact that they have issues.
There's no way they have them.
We encourage men to punch each other bare-fisted in the head and possibly fall down on a solid surface.
Every three days.
Who's got brain damage?
That's weird.
Like, yeah, I mean, you don't have to say that you're horrible people for having it done.
It's hockey, and these guys, everybody wants to do it.
But you could admit that that's probably contributing.
And maybe compensate and help out for the damage that you've caused.
It's more about the fact that medically they knew more than they were telling guys and they weren't telling guys how dangerous it was
to have multiple concussions and if you're some 24 year old canadian kid who's got a job to play
hockey and you're brought up your whole life to be tough and you'd be all that and they tell you
yeah your head's fine you're gonna go out there and fucking play what do you know and very much
like the nfl where we like watching. Yeah. The sheer brutality of it.
Why did I say that like a fucking Brit?
You really said that like Niles Crane or something.
Not even a Brit.
Like a pretentious American.
The sheer brutality of it is why we watch.
It's amazing to watch men do this and really just fucking fight it out.
Go out each other.
Yeah.
Generally fight it out. I want to other, yeah. Generally fight it out.
I want to see that.
It's the fact that they push a little,
then they stop and they square up.
It's an old-fashioned put up your dukes,
we're stepping outside.
Fucking beautiful.
And that's the thing that hockey has more than football even,
is a culture of tough.
It's got a culture of tough.
In hockey, if you get a big gash in your head,
you go back in, you get it sewn the fuck up, if you get a big gash in your head, you go back in,
you get it sewn the fuck up, and you get the fuck back on the ice. Period. There's no
I'm out of the game now. As soon as that shit
stops bleeding all over the place,
you're out on the ice again. It's the old
ESPN SportsCenter thing. But he's a hockey player.
He would return. You know, they always say that
because they show a guy with a horrible injury, but there he
is in the third period skating around with
four less teeth than he used to have.
And that's fine with these guys.
I'm sure that footage of Chris Berman saying that shit every week is deleted.
Yeah, no shit.
No shit.
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Oh, dude, I've seen so many.
Disney's part of the fucking hockey league
with that goddamn team.
They don't want their product to be damaged.
I mentioned this once before,
but I was watching an old NFL primetime, which was the ESPN show that would do like the hour highlight show.
I don't know if they still do it anymore of the NFL on Sunday nights.
And it was to research, I believe, Dexter Manley or some shit back in the day.
And yes, that's right.
Dexter.
Damn it.
So I was researching all of this and they were showing these highlights from a Bears game.
researching all of this and they were showing these highlights from a bears game and tom waddle who was a bears wide receiver a little white dude was so concussed he could not fucking stand up
and they were like they were talking about how great it was that he kept playing
he literally went over the middle dangerous got fucking blasted was unconscious i'm talking when
the guys are out cold on the field and they're standing over him
like waving air at him cold he came off for one play and back in they gave him smelling salts on
the side he didn't know where the fuck he was when he came back in guys were literally directing him
to where he's supposed to stand didn't know what he was doing and then he caught the play don't
worry about it tommy and he caught a touchdown pass on the next play because they wanted him in the end zone he caught a touchdown pass and just laid on the
football like he looked like he was like i don't know where i am but i bought this football supposed
to be and then they were like what a great gee that's just that's just good football right there
and it's like holy shit if that happened now like that guy you just showed why that guy drools when
he smiles now and now it's a fucking, it's amazing.
I wonder where Waddle is today.
I'd like to know, but if he's fucked up at all, that contributes.
That play.
Because he got multiple concussions in five minutes.
I watched it.
And that was common back then.
You had to be tough and hockey was even worse.
So he has all those fights.
They go all the way to the finals.
Like I said, you fight that many times on a good almost title team,
you're going to be a hero forever.
Grace.
Really? This is it?
This is Grace for LB.
Personally, I would say.
You got a ring for that side of the NHL, right?
Conference championship.
I don't know if you get a ring in hockey for that.
I assume you do.
At least a trophy or something.
You get a smaller cup.
You get a pint glass.
You get a tiny... It's a pint pint glass. You get a tiny cup.
It's a pint.
They gave me a lager cup.
There we go.
That's it.
Everybody gets a stein that's engraved or some shit.
Yeah.
You were almost good.
Right.
You were pretty good, but not quite.
So, 88-89.
Boston, again, he's playing for Boston, obviously.
They go 37-29, and 14 that year.
14 ties.
No.
That's a frustrating watch right there to watch 14.
I think that's the only thing I hated really about hockey was how much that happens.
And that alone, that number alone.
That's a lot.
That's frustrating as fuck.
There's got to be a happy medium between that and shootouts which is the shootouts is dumb shootouts is the silliest thing i've ever
heard in my fucking life it's like let's play a whole game of hockey and then once that's over
with never mind all of that let's play a completely different game with three people with two people
it makes no sense what it would be like in baseball if at the end of like 14 innings they give you a few
extras and then they go okay that's it home run derby time first that's what it would be yeah
first guy to jack five on a home run derby there your team wins that's not baseball that's not the
fucking game we're playing keep playing until there's a winner yeah that's how it goes double
overtime in football now we're gonna see who's quarterback can throw it through a tire the most
times consecutively like what the fuck is going on it's not the Now we're going to see whose quarterback can throw it through a tire the most times consecutively.
Like, what the fuck is going on?
It's not the game we're playing.
So stupid.
That would be a reason for that second stringer to warm up, though.
Because it should just be your backup throws through the tire.
Not even the starter.
We're going backups only right now. You get your last guy on the bench as the guy.
Last guy on the bench and a guy who's not even a goalie.
That's the shootout now. So dumb. The goalie is the guy, last guy on the bench and a guy who's not even a goalie. That's the shootout now.
So dumb.
The goalie is the guy with his stick, his goalie stick.
He has to try to score while like the other team's best scorer plays goalie with no extra
equipment.
I feel like that's how it works.
Hockey should enlist a punch out with the coaches.
Oh, that'd be fun.
I want to watch some dickhead in a suit fighting.
That's what I want. Let's get one of those punching machines. They have it like hillbilly bars. That's how you decide the coaches. Oh, that'd be fun. I want to watch some dickhead in a suit fighting. That's what I want.
Let's get one of those punching machines they have at, like, Hillbilly Bars.
That's how you decide the game.
Send your goon up there.
Whoever's got the hardest right cross, that's the winner.
That's your winner.
It's the same as a shootout.
What's the difference?
No difference.
Neither of them are hockey.
Neither of them have anything to do with what the game is.
No.
So this year, they go to the playoffs.
They beat the Sabres 4-1 in the first round.
They beat Buffalo.
Then they lose 4-1 to the Canadians in the second round.
So they're out pretty quickly.
Well, second round, that's not too bad.
He has some problems in 1989, though, anyway.
January 1989, it's an early Saturday morning,
and he's doing some speeding
and some swerving and
he's unfortunately for him pulled over
and he's kind of
drunk. He is charged with
driving while intoxicated. They said he
was speeding and violating marked lanes
which is swerving I think in and out of your
lane. They said he did not
resist arrest but refused to take
a breathalyzer test yeah which
means you're drunk right i'll come along blow that yourself listen you want to cuff me you can do it
but i'm not gonna it's like just blowing a thing and say i'm drunk that's my thing now blowing it
like i'm like a fucking guy with like air to just give out some people like you i'm not putting anything of yours in my mouth oh cuff me okay that's good
so we're gonna go for a walk let's do it let's do it this is as gay as i get i'm not putting
anything of yours in my mouth nope not even i'll walk with you even if it's plastic
don't care but i will take a nice ginger straw. Oh, we're not holding hands?
No.
Okay.
I thought we were going to.
I thought, okay.
Will you at least hold the cups?
He said no mouth stuff, but he never said he wouldn't hold hands.
So he refused to take a breathalyzer test.
Now, the GM of the team of the Bruins said that an attorney representing Lyndon here, LB, appeared in court.
And this was kind of the hands-off period.
In 1989, in the NHL, they didn't come down on players.
It was kind of a loose thing where they'd be like, well, we'll see how it plays out in the courts.
And that's not really any of our business if someone gets in trouble.
For extracurricular stuff.
It's completely silver hair middle-aged white man.
And this GM, this Sindenan guy actually goes on to discuss why
he's not that upset with lb because two years ago he got a dui and so he understands real hypocrite
yeah he says i you know i i had a bad night once too so i understand it and you know it's not a
good thing and i don't encourage it but you know obviously i you know it happens it's kind of like
boys will be boys like it's one of those things, you know? I mean, giving him the benefit of the doubt, this is pre-Uber.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was a little, I mean, it wasn't tough for them.
You still can take a cab.
It's easy for them to get around.
He's a hot, he plays for the Bruins.
Yeah.
Anybody can be like, anybody give the fucking enforcer a ride home?
Fucking LB's drunk.
Everybody give him a ride home.
Can somebody get him home?
Yeah.
But I mean, guys, and this is a-
I need two guys.
One to drive him, one to drive his car.
Yeah.
So that he has that shit in the morning, too.
In the 80s, a macho guy like this, in the 80s, it was a different culture.
And it was considered, if you were like, I'm too drunk to drive, if you brought your car somewhere and couldn't get it home, that meant you were a pussy.
And in the culture that you're in where everything is based on toughness right being a pussy isn't really an
option and he's the enforcer he's the enforcer enforcer needed a ride home what a bitch why
don't you sit in the back seat there enforcer you need me to move the seat up for you little guy
for a little bitch is that what that is i could see him being like i got this you know it's fine
and uh so anyway an innocent plea was entered on his behalf, and the case was continued. His attorney said he couldn't.
His attorney didn't comment, but LB said he refused to discuss the case.
He said, quote, I've been instructed not to say anything.
So that's smart anyway.
He was on the sidelines with a bruised back when this happened.
So you don't want to be out drinking and driving when you're injured.
That just looks bad.
It doesn't look great.
You should probably be recovering at home.
Quote, unquote, obviously people don't do that,
but you should need to at least put on the appearance that I'm resting and recovering,
even though obviously everybody is going to still live their life.
So he was stopped, apparently going westbound on Storrow Drive.
It was 3.30 in the morningesus when this happened so that's not great
he's charged with speeding failure to stay within marked lanes and driving under the influence of
alcohol now uh i just remember that's like calling in sick and then having to go into work to go
get food yeah that i did that yeah yeah i remember you told me at the grocery store
yeah it's not a good thing yeah same thing. Yeah, same thing, except worse.
I was like, I need chicken noodle.
I got to be here.
I'm sorry.
Except worse, this was in the newspaper.
That's the worst part.
Everybody read about this, and the Bruins didn't find out about it until 12 hours later.
Oh, no.
So he didn't call them right away, and we're like, heads up, going to be in the paper.
I just got fucking picked up, so you guys might want to start working on your spin uh he didn't say shit about it they they had to read about this shit in the paper
that's not the way for your boss to find out you're a dipshit no no no not at all here uh
they said that uh he hoped he would return to the lineup very soon and the team was saying hey we're
gonna see how it goes on uh the bruins general manager here the harry sindon guy who had a dui
of his own we talked about he said quote we found
out late in the third period of yesterday's game against winnipeg we knew absolutely nothing about
the details i i have to presume he's innocent until proven guilty like anyone else i'll probably
talk to him and coach terry o'reilly sunday okay that's a very silver statement yeah but in the
third period of the game he was at yeah but he lb wasn't playing
because he had a bruised back so he's sitting on the end of the bench he's there yeah and then
they were like by the way and in the third period yeah they found out about it so i don't know if
they read about or someone told them about it in the third period and they were like what
call him up from the fucking bench in the locker room or wherever he's here and i just read this
now this is not cool lb at least when you
enter the building right you know i probably should have called you about this but i was in
the drunk tank so what yeah it happens i used my phone call to call my lawyer so now i'm here
it's an important one to tell you this you sat through the whole game? Got shit canned is what I'm trying to get at here. Got taken in.
So January 31st, 89, this is just a week later,
he is, Linden is demoted to the minor leagues in Maine.
Ouch.
And the team said the move was not related to the drunken driving charges facing him at all.
They said, quote, Harry Sinden said, quote,
he went to the team in Portland, Maine for conditioning purposes.
He said that anybody who has been injured or whatever, they're going to send them like
I said, and a guy back down to the minors for a few tune up games before you bring them
back up to the majors.
Well, you know, that's for the sitting through the game.
But it's also let's yeah, let's it could be.
It's both.
I think.
Yeah, I think it's an easy excuse to say it's injured and you get him the fuck out of there
for a little while and whatever.
That's incredible.
He still plays in 49 games in 88-89, though.
So he plays through it, through the injury, through the DUI.
He has zero goals but four assists, but that's not what he's there for,
either of those things.
He does have 218 penalty minutes and 22 fights, which is what he's
there for. God, starts out
the season, September 23rd, has
two fights right away with Terry Clark
right off, or Terry
Karkner. Terry Clark. Terry Clark sings a song.
Terry Clark. What song does she sing?
I don't know who Terry Clark is. She's the country singer.
That's why I don't know who she is.
It's a famous song. I can't think of it off the top of my head.
I've never heard of her.
October 27th, he has three fights.
Three in one game.
Three.
Fights one guy, gets done with him, and then fights another guy twice.
So, you know, got to do that here.
And then October 29th, let's fight again.
Another fight.
November 3rd, let's have more fucking bare-fisted punches to my head.
What the hell?
Let's rattle the skull a few more times. November 17th, November 18th, fight, fight. November 3rd. Let's have more fucking bare-fisted punches to my head. What the hell? Let's rattle the skull a few more times.
Yeah.
November 17th.
November 18th.
Fight, fight.
The 24th of November.
The 26th of November.
Two fights on the 26th against two different guys.
Jesus Christ.
The 29th of November.
Two fights against, guess what?
Two different fucking guys.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
December 15th.
January 7th. He fights the same guy twice
january 8th let's have another fight yeah what the hell january 12th fuck it more fights my man
the february 11th february 15th fights fights fights he's fucking fighting so much it's awesome
he's kicking some ass in there he's trying and and the commissioner is trying to make him learn
a lesson he's gonna forget that he's gonna forget it quickly anything you guys sent him to the minus four he's gonna
forget it maybe it's like a cartoon one punch makes him forget and the next one makes him
remember again like a goddamn fuck also in 89 he has a daughter really a daughter named kia like
the car same spelling and everything yeah same spelling I don't think there was Kias yet, though, so he just named her Kia, and then they named
the car, and she went, fuck it.
God damn it.
And named after a shitty car.
This car?
Really?
It couldn't be a nice one?
And she's very successful, the daughter.
She does well.
We'll talk about her athletic prowess later on.
She's very successful, and yeah, does just fine here.
Despite the name.
Despite being called Kia buyers. Really? She's very successful. And yeah, does just fine here. Despite the name.
Despite being called Kia Byers.
So 1989, 1990 with the Bruins.
They're 46-25-9.
And they go to the playoffs and go deep into the playoffs again.
Great. They win 4-3 in the first round.
So seven game series in the first round is brutal against the Hartford Whalers, which do not exist anymore.
Where are they now?
Did they just defunct?
I believe they're Carolina.
I believe they're Hurricanes.
I'm pretty sure.
But don't quote me on that because it's hockey.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
I think that's what happened to them.
But it's great that there was, A, a team in Hartford, which is awesome, and B, they were the Whalers, which, again, wouldn't exist now.
Great logo, though, with the whale.
Did it have, like, water coming up?
Yeah, it's fucking great.
They have great, like, hats and shit.
They're cool looking.
So they beat the Montreal Canadiens.
They get some revenge on them, 4-1 in the next round.
In the conference finals, they sweep the Washington Capitals.
How about that?
Cruising right into the Stanley Cup finals versus the Edmonton Oilers.
Here we go.
And they lose 4-1.
God damn it.
They go deep, Jimmy.
Yeah.
They go deep.
Fuck you, Wayne.
Damn it, Wayne.
So I think he was gone by then.
Wasn't he on L.A. by then?
I don't know.
I'm pretty sure he was on L.A. by then.
Either way, fuck whoever's in Edmonton winning.
So Messier was still there.
He was a bad motherfucker.
89-90 with Boston that year.
43 games he plays.
Four goals,
four assists,
159 penalty minutes,
14 fights again.
And once again,
there's a lot of just,
he fights November 9th,
he fights twice,
including fighting Jeff Bukabum,
who I remember him on the Rangers.
What a great name. He's a goon, too. Yeah. For a goon Jeff Bukabum, who I remember him on the Rangers. What a great name.
He's a goon, too.
Yeah.
For a goon, Bukabum.
That's awesome.
I got to see in Madison Square Garden at a Rangers-Pittsburgh Penguins game.
Yeah.
And I want to say 93 or 4, or maybe 92 even, I got to see Marty McSorley fight Jeff Bukabum.
That is awesome.
Which was great.
That was a great goon fight.
Yeah.
Because they were going after Lemieux, and McSorley was Jeff Bukabum. That is awesome. Which was great. That was a great goon fight because they were going after Lemieux, and McSorley was getting
in there to protect him, and him and Bukabum were a good fight.
What a name.
And I think I would call McSorley the winner of that fight.
They fought twice, and I think McSorley got them good the second time, if I'm not sure
here.
But yeah, November 30th, he fights two different guys.
He's just March 4th.
He fights fucking same guy twice. March 11th, March 24th, March 24th, he fights two different guys. He's just March 4th. He fights fucking same guy twice.
March 11th, March 24th, March 24th, March 31st.
He's fucking fighting.
Lots of fights.
December 15th, 1990, he gets suspended for 10 games.
Uh-oh.
And this is a league suspension here.
The coach was notified of this.
They were all notified.
It was a third-period fight notified it was a third period fight there was
a game with the hartford whalers and uh the coach was fined five games or five suspended five games
coach mike milbury and then buyers here lb suspended 10 games and this is an automatic
it's kind of like in basketball when you leave the bench it's an automatic suspension during a fight
it's that players were fighting on on the ice buyers went onto the ice from the bench it's an automatic suspension during a fight it's that players were fighting on on the ice byers went on to the ice from the bench very quickly and uh to try to
i guess he tried to get at a hartford player and poked his stick like around the glass partition
at him and then uh the coach pulled byers millberry pulled byers back onto the bench but he went back
on he went on the ice to do it, to pull him off. And so the player
LB was given a game misconduct
for leaving the bench, and then there were
immediate suspensions after the game.
So you can't run onto the ice. You can't
join in.
You can if you're already on the ice.
That's fine. Go ahead and
fucking scrap it up. It's even. It's even numbers.
Yeah, but otherwise. That's what it is.
There's a fight right by the bench, and it can clear yeah and you got 15 how many guys on a team
66 guys you got a shitload of dudes sitting right a lot of tough half toothless guys the other guys
have to skate all the all the way across the ice it makes sense to even it up yeah it does uh well
that's december 15th he's suspended for 10 games The next day, he is playing in a scrimmage versus a Soviet team.
Some scrimmages they're playing, and he injures his foot.
What are you doing?
And misses most of the season with a foot injury now.
So that's not terrific here.
And Boston, they went to the 90-91 here.
This team, they go to the playoffs.
They go all the way to the conference finals,
losing to the Pittsburgh Penguins 4-2,
but they beat the Whalers and the Canadians on the way there.
44-24 and 12 record that year.
But he only plays in 19 games for the Bruins that year.
Two goals, two assists, 82 penalty minutes, only 10 fights.
So letting his brain kind of heal a little bit here.
And again, September 16th, two fights.
September 22nd, 23rd, fight, fight.
November 14th, fight.
November 17th, two fights.
Two fights on December 1st, one of them with Ty Domi,
who's a fighter from way back there.
The very last game was stick poking.
Yeah, and then it was a stick poking.
1991.
This is fucking funny.
He's hurt.
He's gone.
He had been suspended and then got hurt,
so he never really comes back.
What a silly way to do things, too.
Yeah, he never really plays in 91.
He just plays in 90, really,
because he's hurt for all of that time.
How much do you got to love something to get suspended from it and be like, I'm still going
to fucking do it?
I'm going to come do it the next day.
I'm not going to get paid for this, but I'm still going to do it.
The team probably told him to do it to stay sharp.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
They don't want him sitting on his ass for 10 days.
They probably told him, yeah, go fuck.
No hockey player plays in any hockey game that the team didn't tell him he's allowed
to play in because it'll violate your contract. Good. That's where I'm sitting at right now. I was like, that the team didn't tell him he's allowed to play in. Yeah, because that's where I'm- It'll violate your contract.
Good.
So, yeah.
That's where I'm sitting at right now.
No, no, no.
I was like, why the fuck would he do that?
This was NHL players scrimmaging with a Soviet team.
Okay.
It was just a scrimmage, like an off day, probably a charity thing or some shit like
that, I would imagine.
I hope so.
Some exhibition, especially in 1991.
That's when the wall came down and that's when like the whole-
That's when-
The celebration.
That's when everything was thawing with the US and Russia. russia and uh yeah it was when we were friends for five minutes there
yeltsin is that yeah yeah yeltsin was involved getting getting schooled a little bit there
so 91 there's an there's an article about him where he vows to return to the league because
they're like you're kind of a marginal player i mean he's pretty good but they're like you're
injured and that was after being suspended are you going to be able to get back into the league here he vows to return this
article is fucking amazing it's a newspaper article it has a picture of him yeah and under it
you know there'll be like an article and then you'll see a picture and it'll have like a quote
from the article of that person under it the quote that they have highlighted for him, it just says, Lyndon Byers, quote, I'm not a lunatic.
How much of a lunatic do you have to be to proclaim, I'm not a lunatic?
I'm not a lunatic.
I mean, and then they're like, he says he's not a lunatic.
Let's put that right under the picture.
Let's put it right under the picture,
which I think is not his fault, but it's fucking hilarious.
I wish I would have known this before I talked to the guy.
Oh, good disinformation.
When you said it, I was like, oh, no, we're going to do that one soon.
That was the other reason I couldn't go on the show.
I can't go on and talk to the guy and then know I'm going to do an episode about it.
I would have had to tell him that, and that would have been bad.
I would have felt like a dick to be in the presence of someone knowing I'm going to do
an episode and not tell him about it. And they're doing you a favor. I would have felt like a dick to be in the presence of someone knowing i'm going to do an episode and not tell them about it and they're doing you a favor i would have felt like a total
asshole i feel like an asshole already because he had us you know it's not his fault he doesn't do
the booking but you know whatever he was involved in it but uh you know i mean we're kind of doing
him a favor too we're being fair as fuck as we're being right here probably being as as nice to him
as they were to us because the same amount of people that heard of me from their show probably are hearing about him from our that's true too
uh granted they didn't talk about my arrest that's true they did not talk about your police record
or anything else there's very few of them but that's the other thing too if we sound overly
kind of uh you know like we kind of like the guy it's because he we jimmy met him in person and was
gracious to him
so nice nice and had us on in a professional fashion and things like that so it's hard to
be like this guy's a complete piece of shit when he's kind of a nice guy but he just did some funny
stupid shit that we're going to talk about you know my friend my friend gave me a ride there
and she had a friend who who loves lb yeah and lb she LB, she told him that. Oh, he's a huge, he's beloved in Boston.
So he gave her an autographed picture.
Yeah.
Like, he was so nice to me.
Everybody says he's a gracious, good guy.
People like him.
They talk about his answering machine in this article.
It leads off with, if you call Lyndon Byer's answering machine, the message kiddingly says,
quote, you've reached the home of an alcoholic, cocaine-addicted ax murderer.
I love that so much.
That's what everybody thinks of him, basically, that he's a lunatic.
That's brilliant.
That's why he says, I'm not a lunatic.
Call my answering machine.
I'll show you.
I'll show you, God damn it.
So he's a free agent at this point.
That's why they're doing this whole thing.
And he says it's just a spoof about his arrest and how all the crazy shit that he's talking about.
He says, quote, I made a mistake, but I'm a human being.
I believe I'm a good person.
For anyone that makes a mistake to rectify the situation, you have to believe in yourself.
I think everything will work out.
I have to live with the situation.
I made my bed and I'll sleep in it.
I don't condone drinking and driving.
Okay.
So his career at this point is up in the air.
Oh, based on one fucking mistake.
Based on one mistake
that yeah in boston in boston you got shit faced and drove wow yeah i mean i'm not not making life
serious but i feel like i feel like also in 1989 in boston at 3 30 in the morning if you threw a
net out it would be like you're gonna if you caught 12 cars 11 of them are gonna be like at
least a point20 or above.
It's going to be a serious.
They're all close or worse.
It's going to be bad news for everybody.
But that makes it better.
But he is taking it on the chin, and he isn't saying, like, I was fine, and these fucking cops, whatever.
He didn't pull any of that shit.
He's owning his mistake and living up to the consequences.
He said he's confident his career will get better.
He said, quote, I definitely will be playing in the NHL next year,
contrary to what some people might think, my career's not over.
He says that the Bruins offered him the same contract as last season,
but he asked for a raise, and he hopes to get a little raise out of it.
He said, quote, I won't candy coat it.
Basically, I'm a heavyweight goon-type player,
but I'm not a detriment when I'm on the ice i'm not a madman contrary to popular belief when i have fun i have fun but when i go to work i go to work so he's saying you know i have hockey skills
as well i'm not a useless brawler that that's all they can do yeah i'm not a i'm not yeah i'm not a
detriment is exactly what he said i'm not a liability out there if the puck comes my direction.
I believe him.
I know what to do with it.
So everything he's saying is the correct things here.
91-92, the Bruins.
He does end up coming back to the Bruins.
Great.
They go 36-32-12 that year.
They beat Buffalo in the first round of the playoffs.
They sweep Montreal in the second round of the playoffs
and then are swept by Pittsburgh in the conference finals.
That's Lemieux time and all those guys.
Those are goddamn good teams, those early Penguins teams.
I do love watching that in all sports.
I mean, not all sports.
When it's a game, a sport where it has several games in a series.
I love watching a team sweeping and sweeping and kicking
ass and then just getting mocked up yeah you could gorgeous it's the total different vibe of a it's
so weird how the matchup being completely different in the other team's favor it'd be players turn
completely different against other teams it's fun to watch that too basketball is the same way like
that so it's a good time there uh 91, he plays in 31 games for the Bruins.
One goal, one assist, 129 penalty minutes.
There you go here.
15 fights.
My goodness.
15 fights here.
And good Lord, Jesus Christ, October 12th, he fights twice.
He's fighting the 17th of October.
Has an injury there.
Comes back February 6th, February 13th.
March 8th, he fights twice.
He fights Mike Peluso twice.
March 14th, he fights Tony Twist twice.
Let's say that a lot.
That's a fun one.
Tony Twist twice.
Wow.
April 12th, he fights the same guy twice.
He's just fighting his ass off here.
Now, he's a free agent at the end of the season.
He had signed a one-year deal with Boston, and that deal expires at the end of that year.
And so he's looking for a team.
He's not signed until November 7th of 92, which is not—that's like past preseason and everything.
Season started.
Yeah, that's like guys seeing what the fuck is out there.
Like, hey, there's an enforcer out there.
Let's grab him. Or we've got an injury we need a fucking guy that's the other
thing he's signed by san jose okay uh the sharks who in 1992 it's a new team so many people had
that fucking hat yeah that dark teal with the like shark biting the hockey stick in half with
the black rim the black brim hat you know know what I mean? Here was the starter jacket.
Oh, that too.
They all had that too.
That logo was fucking everywhere.
That and the Hornets.
Everyone went crazy for teal and offshoots of teal for some reason.
We all lost our fucking minds.
They're like, can you believe they're putting it on sports teams?
Guess what else?
Marlins came along that time.
More teal.
And everyone had that goddamn shit, too, I remember.
If it wasn't teal, it was purple.
It was purple.
Because then the Rockies, purple.
And then purple with the Raptors.
And purple with purple, purple, purple.
And then the fucking Grizzlies were teal, too.
Yeah, they were teal.
You're right.
Jesus fucking Christ with the teal.
Teal, the color of the 90s.
Paint the 90s teal.
Get a 90s day at your office or some shit like that.
Make sure you're wearing teal and purple, everybody, because that is the team's.
Then the Diamondbacks at the end of the decade came in, and they made their colors teal and purple.
They coupled them together.
They said, fuck it.
What are the colors of the 90s, teal and purple?
We'll take both.
And we're going to go right into the 2000s with this bullshit.
We don't give a shit.
We want you to remember, we started in the 90s.
See?
Look at our uniforms.
See how teal they are?
See how dumb we look?
No one besides fucking retired people in South Florida have this much teal.
Because that's what it was.
It was an appeal to old people, I figured, with the Diamondbacks, because that was what they was it was an appeal to old people i figured with the diamond backs
because that was what they were trying to appeal to out here because nobody was the baseball that
was in the in the youth yeah youth generation i guess now they're starting all these people are
dying out here 20 years later so they're like can we get a mexican kid involved please and can we
get hispanic children to like baseball please can we abandon these colors and run with red? Yeah, run with red.
Make it like, you know, fucking old English style or whatever.
Make it look like a gang tat, please.
And then, I don't know.
The kids will like it, I guess.
I don't fucking know.
It's ridiculous.
And why did we pick a name that's fucking 13 letters long?
Let's shorten it and make it something that sounds real close to D-bags.
Why would they do that and for some reason d-backs to i it sounds so much dumber it's every time you
think of it every time someone says the word d-back for the last 20 years of their existence
22 years of their existence i think of the back of a dangling nutsack for some reason i don't know
why that is what pops into my head the like dark shadowy underside of the back of a dangling nutsack for some reason i don't know why that is what pops into my head
the like dark shadowy underside of the back of a nutsack every single fucking time you think of the
ugly porn porn angle yes exactly except not lit it's like someone they took a there's they're
doing a regular shot from the front with all the lighting there and someone took like a B cam and went around the back with no lighting. Got some shadowy ball back.
Camera to angle.
The B cam was like, there's no lighting, but I think people are going to want to see a
set up on this one.
Oh my God, I'm crying.
And around the back side.
That was originally called Uber Meats.
So, moving on.
You're welcome, Diamondbacks.
That's your advertisement. Take that that cocksuckers what a
dumb name i get why they picked it but it's it's still stupid yeah you could have gone with
basically anything else vipers fucking anything there you go that's what the diamondback is it's
a viper it's a cool fucking name something like that something i don't know there's lots of
dangerous things out here you could be the scorpions. That's dangerous.
There you go.
They're very dangerous.
Or the stingers.
Or the sting.
The fucking sting.
There you go.
And you got a fucking scorpion on your hat?
Oh, Jesus.
Jesus Christ.
You just have a...
Is that something?
Is there a sting somewhere?
Probably.
I think there is.
It sounds like a WNBA team, doesn't it?
It does.
It totally does.
It absolutely does.
The Salt Lake City Sting.
I will shit if there's a team called the Salt Lake City Sting.
I will shit my pants if I look that up after this fucking episode.
And I go, dude, there's a Salt Lake City Sting.
And it's all shit.
Because I've never heard of it.
I'll tell you that right now.
This is accidental.
We're better at naming teams than the teams.
We are, always.
So 92-93, LB plays with San Jose.
Plays in 18 games only because he's kind of up and down with the minors there.
We'll kind of talk about that in a second.
He plays 18 games, four goals, one assist, 122 penalty minutes.
Six fights, got 122 penalty minutes out of that.
He's hooking and doing all kinds of shit.
He's being an irritant.
He's trying to do something.
And that's sometimes when guys lose a step,
they kind of do a little bit more of the penalties
because they're not in the position they need to be in.
And so they cheat a little bit.
They might hook a little.
They might pull a little.
Grab a skate.
Yeah.
I don't think you want to get your hands near those.
Punch a dick.
No, no.
Punch a dick.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Grab that.
Definitely dick punch them from the back, I think.
Right in the backside of that nut.
Right in their D-back.
Right in their B-cam.
Right in the old B-cam.
Right in the old B-cam.
Oh, I love it so much.
That's so good.
Jesus.
But that spot in the skate where the skate skate attaches to the blade yeah two posts yeah right between there a hockey stick fits perfectly yank
it and the guy goes flying on his face if that's not a move that they do constantly i don't know
why highly illegal i would imagine highly illegal it's like throwing a stick in someone's spokes as they ride there. I don't think the Tour de France allows that.
That move on a pass.
You could just jam a stick and a guy's spoke and he lies 30 feet over his handlebars.
That would stop that old one nut, wouldn't it?
That would definitely.
That would be a good way.
They would have done that to him in the first lap or mile or whatever.
No matter how many steroids you're on, that ain't going to help.
It wouldn't help road rash any. Fac any facial road rash just help you heal faster no so march 10th 93 uh he is
he's done with san jose yeah they get rid of him he's signed they release him he's signed by san
diego of the ihl okay which is i didn't know they had a team. They absolutely do not have a team.
And over the next few years,
92-93,
he plays with several teams.
He plays with the San Diego Gulls,
nine games there,
and he also plays with the Kansas City Blades.
Poor LB.
Four guys,
four there.
93-94,
he plays with the Las Vegas Thunder.
94-95,
he plays with the Minnesota Moose.
Not even the Wilds. No, not the Wild, or at that time
the North Stars. Okay. Soon to be
Dallas Stars. The Minnesota
Moose of the IHL.
But in
the summer of 93,
he's involved in a new venture before he
plays and all that. It is a new
roller hockey league that's
announced, okay okay and they had
money to the la teams were owned by the buses who own the lakers no kidding jerry fucking bus
owned the l is on both la teams that he doesn't want anybody to know that i probably not that's
gone by the wayside here uh they it was it's they they tried to pump it in this article and they
said in line this is mind, this is 1992-93.
So rollerblading was popular then.
It wasn't.
So they say, inline skating is the fastest growing sport in America, with 9.4 million participants in 1992 and 319 million in retail sales from September 91 to September 92.
September 91 to September 92.
And then this Bill Conyard, who was the owner of the Portland Rage franchise, says, quote,
almost every kid in the world has rollerblades now.
I didn't.
I had a skateboard.
James quit on it before it started.
This is the first league to really capitalize on an emerging sport.
They have franchises in New Haven, Los Angeles, Anaheim, Oakland, San Diego, St. Louis, Orlando, Miami, Salt Lake City, possibly the Sting, Toronto, Vancouver, Calgary, and Portland.
Each team plays 14 games.
Good Christ.
I don't know what that's all about.
Why bother?
Fuck.
Yeah, Jerry B bus owns them uh they said that the teams will be stocked almost exclusively
with minor league hockey players and uh paid on a scale of average weekly salary 583 dollars
to play in this based on victories and losses and team and individual achievement so there's like
incentives uh team will feature uh coaches who are nhl players such as lyndon byers he's the face we'll be fucking
coaching a team yep uh he's going to be a coach okay of the of one of these roller hockey teams
this league stayed in business until 1999 seven years did you ever once hear about or see or even
even on espn 8 or whatever the fuck. Never. The Ocho? The DS.
The deepest fucking cable possible.
No, nothing.
The only time I ever saw roller blade hockey in media ever
was Wayne's World and Clerks.
That's it.
That's it.
Yeah, that was it, man.
And it's like a joke in those.
Yeah, it's exactly.
Yeah, yeah.
Back East, they like to play hockey and whatever.
Street hockey's a thing.
So this, though, yeah, it's exactly, yeah, yeah. Back East, they all have, they like to play hockey and whatever. Street hockey's a thing. Right.
So this, though, yeah, it's, wow, 99.
They didn't have a season in 98, but then they had one in 99.
Was it a strike?
Yeah, I think it was a strike.
The players wanted 700 bucks a week, and they said, no, that's too rich for our blood.
Sorry, guys.
You guys want Gatorade for free?
We bill you for that bench Gatorade, guys.
Sorry, it's not free.
One more season season we're out
of here out of this shithole so 94 95 though uh he signs with harford hartford the whalers
but he only plays in the pre-season in his cut uh so doesn't make it that is uh never makes it
back to the nhl damn it that's it for his nhl career which uh i mean in the nhl he played in 279 games which he just short of
gourd kluzak i think he had 299 games but that's all right though he's the number one pick he
should have had more uh so 1081 penalty minutes holy shit not too shabby there that's a lot of
goddamn penalty minutes that is a lot that is impressive total hockey fights including the minors 193 fights my word 193
opportunities for another angry man to punch you in the head with his bare fist man fights man fight
118 in the nhl real fights real fucking fights 118 guys throwing haymakers at you that's how
many goddamn fights this guy's been in. In the closest quarters possible.
Right next to you.
Holding each other's jersey with one hand and fucking socking with the other.
And you're like in agreement.
We're just going to stand here and blast on each other.
One falls, that's the winner.
Yeah, until somebody gets a real good shot in.
Super weird.
So after all those fights, he has a few years where you don't hear much from him.
He does some charity stuff here and there. Because he's a few years where you don't hear much from him. He does some charity stuff here and there because he's a Boston celebrity.
He's a local Boston guy that they like a lot.
He's not from there, but he's Dan Marley.
Exactly.
He's Dan Marley, if you don't know.
We live in Phoenix, and Dan Marley played for the Phoenix Suns and then opened up restaurants with his name on them.
Which, by the way, restaurants are in LB's future as well.
Very much a local celebrity type.
And that's kind of what L.B. is because he's a beloved guy.
He's a fighter.
1998, he appears in a film.
He appears in a film called Monument Avenue starring Dennis Leary.
This film.
Not a Boston boy.
Oh, yeah.
But Leary gives him several roles and things here yeah he's he's
so he's a big hockey fan dennis leary that that he used to do the cam neely foundation comedy thing
every year he hosted and all that kind of shit uh the plot line here synopsis is quote a small
time hoodlum is divided between his conscious his conscience and loyalty to his boss when his
cousin is murdered so there's that so to kind of
a b mob fucking plot here basically taking himself seriously yeah it's like an irish mob thing i
assume because lb plays a character named fitzy which uh is like every group of irish guys there's
one named fitzy yeah so there's always a fit something always a. Fitzgerald, Fitzsimmons. And he's known as Fitzy every goddamn time.
Also in 98, after appearing in that.
So things, I mean, he's retired, but things seem to be on the upswing until he is busted for a DUI.
Oh, no.
As another DUI.
By the way, there is, I can't find specific.
All I can find is reference to it, but I can't find the specifics of it.
find specific all i can find is reference to it but i can't find the specifics of it that uh at some point i believe in 1993 uh or 1991 one of the two he was arrested for another dui
but wasn't convicted of it oh but was arrested for it and who knows faulty equipment or whatever
it was but i'm not sure it wasn't calibrated yeah i'm not positive but but in total, he has more DUI arrests when it's calculated up by a newspaper than we have incidents of, and I've only heard reference to it.
So I think it's 91 or 93 this happens.
I'm not sure.
So this time, though, 1998, he's busted for a DUI.
His license is suspended, taken away for years now.
It's a good one. It's a good one also because they say his driving record over the past decade shows numerous other infractions, including speeding, penalty for and also penalties for being a habitual traffic offender.
Yeah, he's a shit driver.
LB does not give a fuck.
LB drives the way LB wants to fucking drive.
So when you get a DUI, they go, good, an excuse to yank this asshole's license away.
And they take your license away.
So that's kind of what ends up happening to him here.
It's just another DUI.
Nothing crazy.
Doesn't, you know, take a swing at a cop or anything like that.
Just arrested.
Doesn't crash into anybody.
Nope.
Just arrested for DUI.
Now, 2001, he appears in Shallow Hal, the Jack Black, Gwynness paltrow movie who was he he played punk
number two so a big threatening guy i know exactly who he was i can see it in the movie he was making
fun of guinness paltrow yes for being yeah that's one of that group okay and also at some point in
there i don't remember in the early 90s i forgot to mention it in the early 90s here or whatever it was. Ninety ninety one.
Him and Cam Neely both appeared in the extreme wholehearted video.
The what?
Remember that annoying?
Oh, Jesus.
That was awful.
He was in the video.
The president.
He was in the video.
They were like leaning against a wall somewhere.
I think those guys are from Boston.
If I recall from the footage from the video, Boston horseshit.
So, yeah.
So, he's in there.
Now, 2002 comes around, and there's a charity.
Now, his version of events here, and nothing really was disputed because there's a charity event.
Yeah.
That apparently they ask him to ride.
He's got a motorcycle, and they ask him to ride his motorcycle to the charity event.
Okay.
I don't know if that's to make an entrance or what it is.
Did they forget he doesn't have a license?
Get the people excited.
He, unfortunately, does not have a driver's license.
Right.
So that is not okay.
No.
So he gets caught speeding on his motorcycle on the way to this charity event in the summer of 2001.
I'm sorry, on the way home from a charity event it's a charity motorcycle ride okay that he participated in without a fucking driver's license
why didn't he just say the words somebody got a sidecar yeah i don't have a driver's license so
if i could be like on a float in front of everybody like to be a part of a bullhorn i can
participate i'd love to help raise money but know, I probably shouldn't go in the newspaper saying, here's me driving when
I don't have a driver's license.
Legally, I'm not allowed to operate this.
So they don't even bust him for the charity motorcycle ride.
They bust him for speeding on the way home.
Got it.
So this is the problem.
This is the second time he's been caught driving with a suspended license since his DUI.
second time he's been caught driving with a suspended license since his dui uh so this is a problem because they have in massachusetts automatic sentences for things like this sure
so he's getting a little uh gonna get hemmed up here uh the license was suspended after the dui
in 98 and uh so yeah he ended up pleading guilty to the license suspension charge and he is sentenced to i guess we'll do
a you sir yeah uh you sir my fuck off uh here he's sentenced to one year uh in jail hard time
and ordered to serve two months of that sentence in the house of corrections so i feel like it's
mainly halfway house shit but he's gonna have to actually do and he goes to jail two months he goes
to jail uh also this one year sentence uh
requires him to be regularly tested for drugs and alcohol as well so for a little while here he's not
gonna quite be the same guy as far as you know how he lives his lifestyle and all that sort of thing
but i mean jesus christ he got off on the suspended he got off on the duis without any jail time
should consider himself lucky very and then this happens and's like, Jesus, what the fuck are you doing, man?
And so afterwards, he has no license, and he can't be seen.
Like, oh, he's waiting for sentencing?
Sure.
He can't be seen driving?
No.
So he's fucked.
He literally just walks mainly places, which gets him in shape, which is nice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just walks mainly places, which gets him in shape, which is nice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And of course, you know, there's incidents always with him because I guess maybe, you know, people come up to a guy like him and they, I don't know, the tough guy like that.
Is that you?
LB.
And then, you know, maybe give him, hey, you're a tough guy.
I don't know.
I would assume people be a little too.
A little stick in the ribs.
A little too upfront, a little too friendly.
And then some people would probably be like, hey, I don't want to mess with this guy.
Is it fucking LB? Hey, LB, can I buy you a beer or something?
You know, other than that.
On me?
Who the fuck are you?
You did what?
You should play football.
You're a big guy.
So there's one day here.
He has nothing better to do, but he's sitting in the fucking park.
And of course, people recognize him.
It's annoying him after a while there.
And he's just about to leave.
And he's like, I can't take this shit anymore. Just he's just about to leave and he's like,
I can't take this shit anymore.
Just as he's about to leave,
he hears some dogs barking
and he turns around and he says,
I like dogs.
And it's Bobby Colorado,
animal trainer from Fredericksburg, Texas.
And he says,
How is it you come to arrive here?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
What are you doing?
I mean, I get it.
I get it.
You're a wild, crazy fucking guy.
You're out there.
You know, you're running around.
You're drinking with the...
Who doesn't want to buy this fucking guy a beer?
You know what I mean?
Like, oh, it's LB.
I'll buy you a beer.
You don't need beer.
You know what, though?
You are a good fighter.
And I know some guys maybe that could use you. No, no,
I don't do that anymore. I don't do that. I mean,
I could get you a dog. That's what I'm talking about. Dogs.
I do dogs. I work with dogs, and that's how it is.
I'm from Fredericksburg, Texas. This is the first
time I've been in Boston. It's a nice place. I've never
been in the Northeast before. It's not bad.
Could I interest you in a dog,
possibly? You seem like a lonely man. You come out of
prison. You might want some dogs.
You could pet him. You know what I mean? You could pet him. You could pet him. You know, you gotta walk around with man. You come out of prison. You might want some dogs. You know, you could pet him.
You know what I mean?
You could pet him.
You know, you got to walk around, walk around with him.
You know what I mean? It's a good time.
You do that.
I don't know.
But you think about it and I think about the other thing.
No, I don't think about that.
But I got to go now.
Poof.
In a poof of dog shit and marinara sauce.
He's gone.
And LB's very confused.
He's like, did I get hit in the head more than I thought I did?
Well, at least I wasn't a cop.
But I was not a police officer.
So January 31st, 2003, a hockey team visits L.B. in jail.
Yeah.
It's a high school hockey team.
They take a three hour long tour of the prison of the minimum and medium security men's jail here.
And they they see all of this and they, you know, they see everything in the jail. prison of the minimum and medium security men's jail here.
And they see all of this and they see everything in the jail.
And then they get a talk with him.
First, they do a tour of the jail and they give him like they take him like the showers and shit.
They take him to like nasty parts of the jail.
And they take him.
Coach Emilio Estevez has some questions.
Yeah, he's got a couple of questions.
And then they take him in front of LB and let him have a crack at him.
He chooses just to speak to them, which is nice of him.
He says, quote, today I'm an inmate at the Bill, Bill Eureka House of Correction.
He says, I know some of you smoked pot last weekend.
I know some of you have done ecstasy and I know you drink.
And if it wasn't last weekend, it was the weekend before.
Some of the stuff you do on the weekends that you think is harmless sooner or later, it's going to turn into something bad.
Jesus, LB.
These are kids.
That's what you say.
They're 17, 18 year olds, though.
That's the right time to talk about it.
Put them the fuck down.
He's like, look, I know you're doing ecstasy, all of you.
Half of them are like, we don't.
What?
What the fuck is he talking about?
I don't have any of that.
So he's just assuming.
Look, I know your kids are doing coke off.
I know you like doing coke off black chick, black chick's asses.
I understand that.
I do, too.
All right.
Who doesn't?
There's 20 years right now.
But just by the math, at least three years does coke.
Yeah.
Off of black chick's asses.
I figure because that's, you know, that was popular in the 80s.
It's easier to find the coke before it was, you know, politically was popular in the 80s. It's easier to find the coke. Before it was, you know, politically incorrect.
You know what I mean?
Now it's, you know, I don't want to fetishize a black chick's ass just for cocaine purposes.
It's not right.
It's purpose built.
It's super easy to find coke on it.
So then he says, let's give them an in their own words here.
He says about, this is his whole situation to the kids. This is directly
from his speech. In their
own words, quote,
I'm not trying to give you a sob story. I'm a pretty
good guy. I spend my time doing a lot
of charity events, but I live my life in the
fast lane. I never believed I could go
to jail. I thought it was maybe some
trouble. I've done a lot of stuff that
I could have been in jail for. I made a bad
choice and the consequences have been beyond my belief. I got done a lot of stuff that I could have been in jail for. I made a bad choice and the consequences have been beyond
my belief. I got the 60 days
and this will be with me for the rest of my life.
When you've got that right or wrong decision, believe in
yourself. If I would have believed in myself a little more,
I'd probably still be playing in the NHL.
Instead, I'm here.
That's the name of this episode.
Living his life, swerving in and out of the fast lane.
Yeah, and then swerving in the
fast lane. Jesus then swerving in the fast lane jesus
christ fucking unbelievable he says uh goes on to say i'm going to get through this i believe i'm a
good person you have your whole future ahead of you there are consequences to everything and this
is my consequence it's not the life or death decisions you make it's the little decisions
at this point while he's in jail there's someone wrote a song uh called the ode to lyndon byers
um and i'll
read you the what asshole did i'll read you the lyrics i don't know i have the nose red peters
is his name oh i know who red peters is uh he's a he's a parody singer i never would have thought
you'd be like this is great okay i love that red peters red peters had a song called okay
he he wanted a dog and he wanted to name the dog Staines so that every time the dog was near, he could say, come Staines.
Okay.
He's a pun parody guy and he's fantastic.
So you have a guitar in his hand, doesn't he?
Oh, yeah.
He's an old man with a...
I'd hate him.
Yeah, you would.
Okay, just checking.
But 12-year-old me loved it.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
As a child, yeah.
Today, there's no fucking way I'm playing that on a beat.
This just rocks.
He shreds.
Let's go here and do a, let's get the lyrics.
Okay.
Free LB, free LB, that seems to be the chorus.
Sure.
If you were driving down the turnpike in winter 2003,
on the back every dirty truck were the words free LB.
So those who don't remember what message was about,
let me tell you all about it so there won't be any doubt.
Free LB, free LB.
Lyndon was a leap year baby born in 1964.
Nippawin, Saskatchewan was where he learned to score.
He was a skater and a scrapper and he often fought like hell.
He was off to the black and gold,
the Bruins and the NHL.
It was Linden,
the enforcer wearing number 34.
The,
that boy made a lot of dentists rich down on that garden floor.
He won himself a lot of fans scored a goal
in the stanley cup then skated to the airwaves when he hung his jersey up free lb free lb it
continues oh boy he hooked up with hillman doing sports at aaf that's my guy uh that station up in
boston that plays music that makes you deaf when they call lb corrections uh he'd tell them all to go to hell uh but it was those miss
matawan erections that put him in a spell okay uh gave his time to charities couldn't find a better
pal played golf and hockey for a cause and a punk and shallow how he rode rode his harley long and
hard but the truth be told that underneath that gritty frame beats a hunk a hunk a heart of
gold mike oh my goodness red peters loves you he's fucking he's he's hitting his fucking his
d-back and everything there he's hitting the b-camp tickling the old b-cam on that bad boy
that's the name for the show tickling the b-cam uh so folks say he had some kind of trouble with some dude from the state police
something about he shouldn't be driving or something it said in his release i guess the
judge didn't like that shit he was out to make him pay so they hauled his ass off to county jail
where he stayed for 60 days well the fans they sure did miss him matawan was not a man town was
not the same until they got their buddy back.
They'd keep alive his name.
So each and every
morning as they begin
their day, they'd
shout it, write it,
scratch it, fax it.
And this is what they'd
say.
Free LB on a Mack
truck.
Free LB on a Ford.
Free LB on a school
bus.
Free LB.
Won't you, Lord?
They're even praying
to Christ.
Good Lord.
I hope it's not for
nothing. I hope you'll hear my plea. Free LB. Free LB. Free Good Lord. I hope it's not for nothing.
I hope you'll hear my plea.
Free LB, free LB, free LB.
And then it goes on from there with a bunch of other free LBs.
And that is sung by a chorus of people with DUIs.
Oh, yes, I'm sure.
While hammered.
Yes.
While shithoused.
We'll talk about it in a second.
There's some stuff that's just insane about the drinking that's later on.
There's some stuff that's just insane about the drinking that's later on.
2003, he also appears in Stuck on You, the movie, with Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear as Siamese twins.
Ridiculous.
If we had the Farrelly Brothers movie, that was probably a low point in Matt Damon's career, I'm sure.
Has to be.
Pretty fucking low.
This guy had all the Bourne movies, like a bunch of hits, you know, and like Good Will Hunting wrote an Oscar-winning script and all that shit. And then he's like, I'm going to pretend to be glued to Greg Kinnear here.
That's a midpoint for Kinnear.
Yeah.
For Kinnear.
This is great.
This is, you know, this is grace.
I think it's grace.
That's Greg Kinnear's fucking grace.
It's post Oscar.
It's all that shit.
So as soon as he gets out of jail, though, he gets a job on a movie or on a it's a it's
a I guess it's a TV movie that's an attempt at a pilot.
It's like one of those TV movies that they're trying to get a show out of.
The offer is from Michael J. Fox's production company to co-star in a say he's got a big
role in this in a sitcom pilot about a former New York Rangers player and his enforcer friend
who would
be LB.
What range?
It's called...
Yeah.
He's got range, this guy.
He's bebopping and scatting all over the place.
It's called Hench at Home.
It's a TV movie.
It's written by Michael J. Fox and Mitchell Hurwitz, who is the creator of Arrested Development.
Wow.
He's the guy who wrote all that great shit.
This is going to crush in Boston.
Yeah.
A pro hockey... It says... this is the synopsis a pro hockey player spends more time with his family
after he's forced to retire lyndon has third billing on imdb he's not like way down the list
there's like a man his wife and lyndon exactly he played aurelia duke is the character's name so not
punk number six or you know it's a real thing uh doesn't get picked up
for as a tv show the uh actual tv movie only has a six out of ten on imdb too so better than most
athletes that are in yeah that's true but i don't think it came out very well and most of those
movies that those athletes are in don't have that kind of firepower behind it in terms of writing
and production absolutely yeah totally now 2004 he appears in another movie here.
It's called Freedom Park.
He plays a t-ball coach.
And the movie's tagline is, quote,
where Little League bats hit big time gambling.
Jesus.
So this is a movie apparently about,
I think it's a comedy about people
that are gambling heavily on Little League baseball,
which is kind of a brilliant premise.
I read the premise, and if you look at the IMDb page, that are gambling heavily on Little League Baseball, which is kind of a brilliant premise.
I read the premise, and if you look at the IMDb page,
it looks shitty, but that's kind of a fucking... If that was done correctly, that could be a funny movie.
Sounds like an Adam Sandler movie.
Yeah, if Adam Sandler did that in 1996,
that would have been fine.
Huge.
Yeah, like Teenage James would have fucking smoked some weed
and thought it was mildly amusing.
It's a guy that can't pay his mortgage and he goes to his kid's team and bets against
the other team.
It's Happy Gilmore with Little League gambling.
Just like, why can't you hit?
Why can't you hit the curveball?
That's some little kid and the kid's like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
That's the movie.
That's comedy, folks.
And then he sings some dumb song, and it's huge.
And the kids do great.
This movie's a $275,000 budget, too, so it's a low-budget affair.
I assume probably 2004 it's probably shot DV, I bet.
I bet it's a DV, which is a little videotape.
It's a digital way of not having to use 35, because you can't shoot a movie on 35 for $275,000, probably.
Not very easily anyway okay uh that would be like the bare minimum they'd have to do two takes of everything
and one take or one camera yeah not even two can't afford fucking film for 35 on that uh also
appears in 2004 on two episodes of rescue me the dennis leary fireman show that makes sense which makes sense uh he
plays a character named ryan in that season uh two two in the same season though of the same
character so that's a recurring fucking character that's something also plays seven games for the
minnesota moose that year oh back into hockey in 2004 for some reason, has two fights. So just to get himself warmed up, I feel.
Now, October 2004, this is interesting here.
Okay.
I don't even know what to say about this.
October 2004, he wants to stage hockey fights in a ring.
It's the dream of hockey gladiators is what he calls it
and he's trying to put this together um uh i have a lot of a lot of thoughts about yeah guys
already have brain damage this is 2004 so this is pre uh this is at sangas arena and he wants to
put it on he says quote what uh what you thought i was going to let this opportunity slip by he
told them on the radio he said the details have yet to be worked out, but everyone's hopeful it will be here at the Tsongas Arena in New England, the mecca of hockey fighting.
So he says it's going to be a two-day, 32-man event with buyers being behind the scenes.
They said at first it was going to be that,
and then they brought it down and they said,
okay, it'll be a one-day showdown with buyers and 15 other guys.
It'll be a 16-man card.
They're fighting over a $135,000 grand prize.
No.
And the winner walks away with $100,000,
and then everybody else splits the rest.
So buyers said, quote, why didn't it happen in Winnipeg?
Because the way it was playing out with law,
because it was originally scheduled for Winnipeg,
he said, the way it was playing out with lawmakers,
we would have all been arrested.
But my feeling was, hey, all the more reason to have it.
No?
No.
Because that is fucking assault, LB.
Yeah, if it's not sanctioned, it's just assault.
It's just lots of assault going on in a parking lot or an arena or whatever building you're in.
It doesn't matter where.
It's just multiple assault cases.
That's all it is at that point.
Yeah, he said, my feeling was all the more reason to have it.
We would have fought the first night.
Everyone would have been arrested.
And then after making bail, we could have returned to fight the next night and been arrested again.
What a spectacle. It would have been great yeah it would have been a story you
would have been a story no great no and you would have went back to jail so probably not uh so he is
a problem yeah he's got i talked to this man yeah he's he's a little he's got some some issues i
would say uh he way do you hear his bio for the radio.
It's kind of irresponsible by the radio station.
We'll talk about it.
2005, he appears in another episode of Rescue Me as the same character on another season.
This fuck has a character arc.
He's got a fucking character arc.
Do you know how many actors are walking around L.A. right now that would kill?
You mean serving tables right now?
Who are acting like servers right now?
Are walking the fuck around bringing people their avocado toast and fucking wishing on a star that they could have a character arc on.
And even a shitty one like Rescue Me.
That show sucks a dick.
That show was just Dennis Leary pretending to be a fireman with all of his friends it should have been called it's
kind of over dennis leary that's what it should have been called like leary's victory lap it
should be called uh leary's bridge to voicing dodge commercials yes exactly yes which makes
him somehow relevant more than this but anyway uh, yeah, he it's weird to commercials.
If you think about it, only a certain amount of people.
What lately you see all these movie stars doing commercials.
And I was like, why is that a thing now?
Used to be like that would be embarrassing for a movie star to do a commercial.
Yeah.
Like I was reading this book about Van Halen and they wanted them to they wanted them to some fucking some music thing.
I don't remember some piece of
equipment like a walkman or something yeah they wanted them to literally just put like the tiniest
logo of theirs like underneath all of their shit on a t-shirt and they would give them like an
outlandish amount of money right and they were like we don't fucking do commercials they're like
we'll do levi's and marlboro's and nothing fucking else. What? That's it. That's cool.
Like, smoking and jeans.
It was like 1980 or something.
We will do Marlboro.
Levi's and Marlboro, because we smoke Marlboros and we fucking wear Levi's, but we're not
doing some bullshit music thing, because that's not cool.
And it was like, people don't, we don't endorse things.
Whoops-a-daisy.
Yeah.
Now they've realized, I feel like, that you could be in a movie or you could be on a TV show, but only a certain amount of people are going to see that movie or that TV show.
If you're on a commercial, it's going to be on no matter what you're fucking watching.
No matter what you're watching, it's on.
Absolutely.
So people are going to have you shoved up of their ass and hammered in with a mallet, whether they like it or not.
And that's for you, corporate America.
James and I are open to discussion.
That's right.
Levi's and Marlboro, nobody else.
Whatever marijuana company's out there.
Is there any way I can get on with Roundup also?
Yeah, there you go.
Anything that's just like really bad for people.
Yeah, we'll do that.
Anything that's not for people.
Levi's are fine for people, I guess.
They're shitty jeans, but I mean. There's a terrible fit, but I buy them. Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah yeah we'll do that anything that's not Levi's are fine for people I guess they're shitty jeans but I mean there's a terrible fit but I buy them yeah that's the
thing yeah they don't fit right I can't I'm too tall they're 27 bucks I'm in they're fucking I'd
look like a goofball in those things they're not made for tall people we have to buy it's weird
it's I'll school you on tall culture one of these days anybody out there who's like over six three
you know that clothes you can't and i'll
tell you the whole other issue five eight and you can wear anything you cocksucker you're a bastard
you can go anywhere oh this will fit me this will fit me i have to be like is this too short is this
like yeah no but for a minute there they were doing 32 is and they might still be doing it but
32 is like regular length go fuck yourself nobody's a
32 is everybody 32 length jeans is that a common thing is that too long or too short that is so
long oh wow okay shit it drags everywhere it goes over my fucking toes oh wow i would look like i
was waiting for a flood if i wore 32s i could never wear 32 length. It would be hilarious. It just hurts my heart because when I buy jeans for a minute there, I had to buy 32
shorts.
And I was like, I'm not even sure.
That's not.
Why do you call that?
But I am.
I get it.
You're not like I'm not.
You're not a medical anomaly or anything.
You're pretty normal.
I look OK walking down the street.
You're normal size.
I'm a normal dude walking down the street in pants that say short.
Fuck you. Thanks for the confidence basterds so this cocksucker as a character arc is the point here that we're getting at which is annoying as shit lucky even though good for him though i guess
i mean fuck it it's build on a relationship that's entertainment yeah so uh two damn networking Yeah. So 2007, his daughter is doing flat water canoeing.
Okay.
I didn't know that was a competitive thing.
It's not like crew.
It's like a different thing.
One person?
I don't know.
Okay.
But she'd been doing it since 2000, and he is very excited about it.
There's an article where I guess she's going to the Pan American Games for this.
And he's saying this could lead to her making the Canadian Olympic team.
And he's excited.
He said, quote, that's one of the reasons she's so fired up.
This gives her the chance to qualify and try to compete for the Olympics.
It's pretty amazing.
I'm kind of blown away.
I've seen her online and I see her name up with all these athletes in a world-class event.
He says, basically, they ask her if he helps her with any of it.
Does he give her any notes on her canoeing?
Do you punch the boat and show her how it's done?
Do you threaten the boat?
Do you drive it shit-faced around the lake?
I'm just wondering, how do you even find out that you're great at that?
Do you know what I'm saying?
That's what I'm saying.
That's such a bizarre, like shot put and javelin.
How do you find out you're good at that? I don't'm saying that's such a bizarre like shot put and javelin how do you
find out you're good at that that's i don't know it's an accident how many people have talents
that they don't know they have yeah i might be unbelievable at it how many people could you
might be the greatest violin player that's ever lived but you've never fucking touched the violin
and you'd have no fucking idea but in your hands and in your brain could be the greatest violin knowledge ever i'm serious
yeah you're right be the most amazing there's so many people i who the fuck knows you don't know
if you find your stupid talent that's dumb luck how many times have you pressed a rock to your
cheek spun around three times and thrown that fucking thing that's what i mean you don't fucking
know that that's what you're good at but i mean like weird shit like that like like if i guess a violin people are just prodigies at that if they didn't pick
it up when they were four how the fuck would they know it they wouldn't have known it who how many
people are walking out there with like this just this this greatness this pandora's box and you
just gotta open it that is just closed and their lives suck and they're miserable and they're doing
shit they hate and they don't even know that the thing that they're amazing at is out there and they could be successful at.
That sucks, man.
That's why you got to live.
That's why you got to try everything.
Suck all the dicks.
Do all the things you need to do.
Be bad at everything.
So, yeah.
So they ask him, though, about that.
Do you give her any notes on her rowing?
And he says, quote, basically, I let her do what she does best.
I don't know anything about canoeing and not for nothing but i wasn't that good at hockey
i don't know if i would be the best guy to ask advice of which he was pretty fucking good at
hockey he was just saying skill wise he's making a self-deprecating joke to the nhl man you're
pretty good at he did pretty goddamn well uh 2010 he appears in a tv movie called mad so's war uh this doesn't sound
good no uh the the the uh description is a power vacuum develops when the top mob boss flees a
federal indictment okay and he plays a bouncer so i feel like he looks there stands there looking
meaty yeah that's basically all it is why he he got the role. He also appears in a film called Oxy Morons.
Okay.
This is quote.
Now, okay.
What does that sound like to you?
That sounds like a comedy where two idiots get suckered into selling Oxycontin on accident.
That's fucking amazing.
Two dipshits stumble into selling oxy but it sounds like that version of
stuck on me yeah stuck on you or whatever it's like a fairly brothers yeah slapstick
joined twin selling oxycon here that david conjoined selling oxycon the one brother here's
this here's the dig the one brother doesn't want to sell and he has no choice because the other brother's doing it he forced his other hand yeah when they get
they get sent to prison yeah and matt damon's just got his arms crossed the whole time and
he gets like good food and can wear normal clothes but greg kinnear has to wear the shitty clothes
but he's but he's also raped but he's also yeah he was just totally not fair the judge says please
don't rape the innocent one bangs the gavel and sends them off and every time greg kinnear is
forced to deep throat a prisoner's sausage uh matt damon tastes it he tastes it he's reading
a book turned the other way with a look on his face gum spitting. Spitting semen out. Wash your balls, will you? Turns the page angrily.
He just wrote a much better movie.
Much better.
That's what it sounds like to me, too.
A slapsticky, stupid comedy.
Instead, this is the actual, it couldn't be a better description from what we just described.
Quote, this gritty true life story of a notorious Boston criminal and his gang, who, driven by addiction and greed,
commit a series of dangerous robberies
during the height of the OxyContin drug trade.
Well, there goes Oxy.
So, they put that in there, but when you put morons,
it does not sound like a serious film at that point.
It sounds like, hey, Oxy, you got half of it right.
But it is a gritty, true-life story
rather than a slapsticky comedy.
Linda LB plays this superintendent of what?
I don't know.
Just superintendent is probably a job,
probably like a construction site superintendent,
something like that.
That makes sense.
It's not a school superintendent.
Highly.
That's a school superintendent.
He was threatening children.
School superintendent walks out with four teeth and goes, what y'all doing here he's probably wearing a hard hat
maybe a dress shirt but a hard hat so april 2010 uh a friend of his he's in a car uh a friend of
his who turns out to be a business partner later on who we'll talk about uh this is not on job
this isn't a movie set no no this is this is real life uh the guy who he's with about. This is not on, this isn't a movie set. No, no, no. This is real life.
The guy who he's with here,
his friend is drunk behind the wheel
of a 68 Chevy C10.
Is that a truck?
Yeah, it's a pickup truck.
That's what I thought.
It's a badass truck.
Yeah, I'm sure
it was done up nice too.
And LB was in the passenger seat
of the truck.
Well, it's a bench seat.
It's a, well, yeah.
They're connected.
When they turn,
the one slides into the other.
That's how it works there. So uh apparently just after 8 p.m this uh olison who is the driver lost control on of the vehicle on the ramp from spene street to route 9 west and the truck went airborne
oh my god and quote sailed over two sedans that were pulling out of Natick Collection.
How fucking fast are you coming on the freeway?
Fast enough to make a 1968 Chevy truck, which is not made of fiberglass.
That thing weighs a fuckload.
Yeah.
That's like a battleship, that thing.
You could put cannons on the side of that and take it out to sea.
And when you think about a truck, you think about something high.
These things are so low to the ground heavy to get to sail over two cars
the fucking speed you have to have yeah it's some duke boy shit right there uh so apparently
when over there the pickup quote came to rest on the sidewalk on top of a stop sign and was heavily
damaged also there was other cars in the area that they kind
of bounced off of that were damaged and the two uh olison and byers escaped with only minor scrapes
somehow but we need all these safety things to cars cars yeah they're in a giant steel car and
fucking yeah and they're fine fine um holy shit both denied they'd been drinking but were slurring
their speech and had glassy bloodshot eyes and a moderate odor of alcohol according to the police
report you stink of alcohol and you're slurring your speech and you're like not a drop nothing
where'd you come from church not even catholic either didn't even have wine
i'm not even catholic i'm not protestant
they don't have wine no wine not allowed and lb gets out of the passage he goes what happened i
was in the bathroom i was in the on the other side of the bench so yeah uh olison then failed
several field sobriety tests including a one-gged stand, and he could not count backwards or recite the alphabet from J to S.
So the L-M-N-O he had a problem with.
I'm sure he made that one word.
I didn't even think about that, and that's brilliant.
It has to be what it was.
J-K-L-M-N-O.
Q-R-T was tough, too.
And amenable.
Wait, it's Q-R-S-T.
Q-R-S-T. And Jimmy fails. Wait, it's QRST. QRST.
And Jimmy fails.
I'm not even joking.
You are not.
You have a circle case soda in front of you.
Now, the excuse for not knowing how to A, count backwards, or B, recite the middle section of the alphabet was
he told an officer that he didn't know how and asked, how the fuck do you not know how?
He says, quote, I didn't learn that.
I learned part of the alphabet.
Stopped.
That was enough for me.
Super believable.
I didn't learn that.
I'm not drunk.
I just didn't learn the alphabet.
That's a very impressive response, though.
That's a drunk response right there
a sober person would knock him out i didn't learn that
no i never knew that part fuck and then he also uh later refused to submit to a blood alcohol test
so he just he did the failed the field sobriety test couldn't recite the alphabet just said i
learned that and then he said i'm not i'm
not drunk but i won't take a test and then an lb makes judgment calls of jumping in a truck with
let's go pal let's do it uh now he uh the olison is fighting the drunken driving charges and
negligent driving charges he said and lb has got his back lb says no matter what anyone wants to believe it's an accident until
due process is done i can say with 100 confidence that neither of us were intoxicated is what he
said on the radio he said this on the radio uh yeah so he's out of his fuck that's dude lb he
doesn't know l to s just go we may We fucked up. Sorry. He wasn't driving.
It's not your fault.
You weren't driving.
I mean, it's not your criminal fault anyway.
So 2010 comes around and he's Jesus.
It just gets sillier.
He's supposed to fight Butterbean.
No.
Yes.
Eric Butterbean, the giant fucking 350 pound knockout artist.
It's a tough man.
You're not fighting him.
You're not.
He will kick the shit out of a person who's not a professional fighter.
If you're a great boxer, you'll beat his ass, even though he outweighs you by 150 pounds.
But if you're just like a good brawler, he will fuck you up.
Kill you.
Yeah.
They had him fight WWF still in the 90s.
They had the brawl for all thing where they all fought each other in real fights, the wrestlers.
Half of them got hurt.
Like three different guys were off the roster for a year because they got hurt.
It was a fucking disaster.
That's why they don't fight for real.
And then the winner of it got to fight Butterbean.
So he beat up all the other guys.
It was Bart Gunn who ended up doing it.
He beats up all these other guys. So he looks like a who ended up doing. He beats up all these other guys.
So he looks like a big, tough guy, which he is, and he can fight.
And then they put him in the ring with Butterbean, and Butterbean knocks him the fuck out easily
because he's a professional fighter.
And he just walloped him good because you're not going to beat that stupid.
Because he puts people to sleep.
Yeah.
That's his job.
That's his job.
So he's so fat, you can't even get close enough to him.
And if you do, he's so fat you can't even get close enough to him and if
you do he clocks you when you go down and he's he's in such weird shape yes punch doesn't affect
nope it's weird dude it doesn't just fuck you glide down and off it's super weird he's all
gel greased up he's just gel he's a gelatin you're punching a gel mold it's not it's not the same
thing so this fight's supposed to happen and then it's called
off good uh due to the boxing commission being hesitant to license it due to lb's lack of
experience right which is smart those people finally had a conscience yeah exactly you can't
have him getting in there getting hit by that guy we love money but not at the expense of this man's
life that's what i mean what are you fucking? I'm not fighting Butterbean for any amount.
I'm going to get my head exploded like a watermelon.
He's dead, right?
I think he is.
Even if he's not, he's got to be out of the game by now.
I'll be honest with you.
I wouldn't fight him if he is dead.
He could wake up.
So they say, unfortunately, LB doesn't have the experience it's going to take to do a real fight.
That's what Butterbean says.
Quote, to go in there and do anything but a real fight, it just wouldn't be what people wanted.
He said in the end, though, it works out because they accomplished their original goal of raising money for charity.
This whole thing was supposed to be for charity.
That's nice.
So he was going to get destroyed for charity.
So nice job.
What a guy.
LB does a lot
of charity work man he has a like a leukemia foundation and uh nowadays he's done as you
know all those radio stations yeah that's everything they do is for charity they do
tons of charity shit so uh to take a punch for kids that are sick that's balls sorry kid
yeah i'd say you know what i'll buy you a shot yeah i don't know man like an actual
a vitamin shot or penicillin.
Whatever you need, I'll pay for it.
How about Butterbean's going to hit a kid unless we get enough money?
That's a better charity.
It's going to hit a sick kid.
The money will come screaming.
It's going to come crawling in.
Just him pounding his fist into his hand with a small child, like whimpering.
Please.
Sniffling.
Please, mister.
child like whimpering please sniffling please mister so uh yeah this was to benefit the family of a worser uh worcester police officer who was killed in a car accident great uh butterbean did
go on to say that he wouldn't have any hard feelings over fighting a friend he knows lb well
he said quote i don't mind knocking out a friend which is nice i'm not saying i would have knocked
lb out i'm just saying i wouldn't have minded to knock him out if it was there.
See?
See what kind of monster he is?
Jesus Christ.
You're going to fight that man willingly?
God damn it.
The show that's taking place, that took place, what this was supposed to be on,
is the God of Martial Arts Show, which is Gods of Martial Arts.
Butterbean would punch Keith Olbermann's mom in the face.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
He's a monster.
Yeah, and then throw Chuck Knobloch's baseball at her.
Take that, lady.
Now, 2011, he appears in another episode of Rescue Me as a different character this time.
That's how dumb that audience is.
I wonder if Ryan died in a fire.
Is that who he's playing now?
He was playing Ryan before, so I wonder if he died in a fire. Oh, okay, I got you. Now he's playing he was playing ryan before so i wonder if
he died i got you now he's playing espo whoever that is i don't know they're giving lb a job
basically got it okay now it's around now where he starts appearing on a website for hair doctor
dot com as a success story now it makes sense okay yes this is why he looks pretty good yeah yeah this is what
i was talking about he's got yeah well this is because he looks good this is great okay this is
from their website quote in 2002 this fan favorite player started noticing that his signature mullet
hairstyle was beginning to thin yeah uh while he took pride in his appearance as a celebrity athlete
lyndon was never the type of guy to spend countless hours
primping and countless dollars buying quick-fix hair care products.
So, at age 39, he decided to shave his head.
It wasn't until the birth of his son that Lyndon, now 47,
decided to see Dr. Robert Leonard, our experienced hair loss doctor in Newton.
Quote,
I wanted my son to see me as a young and active father, says LB.
Dr. Leonard is a great guy.
First and foremost, his sincerity came through from the first time I met him.
He took the time to listen and gave me honest, straightforward advice, which is let me fucking stick some hair to the top of your fucking head.
Dr. Leonard was able to treat Lyndon using the artist ART, A-R-T-A-S, robotic system,
a new state-of-the-art automated surgical hair transplant procedure,
unlike many traditional methods, requires no scalpel suture staples
and one which leaves no linear scars on the back of the scalp.
LB says, quote, I like that.
With the ARTAS robot, it was less invasive than the old way.
I have friends that went
through the old plug method and it just
looks bad. This is so innovative
that nobody could even tell that I had a hair
transplant. They wrote that for him.
He doesn't use the word innovative on a daily
basis. You've talked to him. A lot of
innovative falling out of his mouth.
I don't think he's very familiar with what the
old way is. That's what I mean.
Whatever. He probably said, yeah, I've seen people with bad plugs's what I mean. But they whatever. I'm sorry.
He probably said, yeah, I've seen people with bad plugs.
And they were like, they wrote that out from that.
This is so innovative that nobody could even tell I had a hair transplant.
Even the guy that cuts my hair said he couldn't notice I had anything done.
He was so complimentary.
Well, that's nice.
They said the artist robot was also convenient to Lyndon's active celebrity lifestyle.
He had the procedure performed on a Friday and he was back to work on a Monday.
He says, quote, It's great to have lettuce again.
That sounds like my man.
Yeah.
Great to have lettuce again.
People say that I look 10 years younger and I feel great.
My hair looks natural and you can't even tell that I had a hair transplant.
I tell my listeners that Dr. Leonard is awesome and I'm very happy with the results with the results well listen as a guy that didn't know that he was going bald and then meeting him sight unseen yeah he was bald as fuck too i believe you so good sight unseen it yeah it
looks good it's good good because i mean yeah he was miserable and he was a younger guy too with
with like we started thin and started thin and pretty early yeah so that's a tough thing
and as either as you know uh go with it and shave that's what he did uh-huh he shaved it that's
that's that's balls and then uh then yeah then he decided that wants some hair yeah because i mean
you feel bad for anybody who's like that i like it yeah i enjoy it you like the shaved head it's nice
but he didn't like it and you know somebody doesn't want a shaved head and they want to have
a hairstyle well good for them.
And I feel bad for people who can't.
I feel real bad for him.
But not nearly.
Not nearly.
I almost said it.
As bad as I feel.
Yeah.
For Lyndon Byers, an aircraft fueler at Swissport Fueling in Bloomington, Minnesota.
Oh, that poor bastard.
That is like the only Lyndon Byers I can find.
It's such a rare...
On LinkedIn, he's the only one.
All these sites, I usually get people.
Even on Facebook, there's like a couple others,
but they're like, one's a kid, one doesn't know it.
It's weird.
It's a tough name to have, that Lyndon.
Lyndon Byers, yeah.
Lyndon is a tough name in the first place.
Yeah, not a lot of...
You don't find a lot of people...
In 19, he was born in 64.
I assume he's named after Johnson, the president,
because he was elected in 64 again over Goldwater.
But, you know, that name probably will take a rise again soon with the dumb names people
are naming kids today.
Because people are naming their kids old man names all the time now.
Isn't that cute?
He's got a name of a fucking 80-year-old man.
Isn't that great?
Isn't it adorable?
We named him Ralph.
We named him Gord Kluzak.
Isn't that wonderful?
That's his first name. Yeah. Gord Kluzak. Isn't that wonderful? That's his first name.
Yeah.
Gord Kluzak Johnson.
That's me.
So Gord Kluzak Petrogallop.
So September 25th, 2011, Bar Rescue airs.
Now, Bar Rescue, he has, we'll talk about this for a second.
They opened a bar, him and a couple friends
rescue is it's it's a show if you don't know what it is it's a show with a host named john taffer
who's allegedly a bar expert who's owned bars and did all this shit anyway it's basically like
kitchen nightmares right where they go around from bar to bar he walks in uh that he sends in people
to do shit with a hidden camera and they see how terrible all the services and how bad the food is and how gross it is.
And then he comes in, fucking yells at everybody, changes the name of the place, uh, changes
the interior and all the drinks and goes, this is going to be better now.
And he leaves and then they change everything right back and then they go out of business.
That's the basic premise of the show.
Correct?
Correct.
That's the way it's worked in the, from what we've seen, the footage I've seen.
A lot of them keep the name and keep whatever they're doing, and they quote unquote are successful.
We don't know.
But the problem is, even if you give them everything to work with, if they're terrible
at running a business to begin with, you leaving doesn't make them good at running a business
now.
Even no matter how many good tips you gave them, they're not business people.
That's why they suck at it.
So they're trying to open a sports bar yeah in framingham massachusetts where they're trying to him and a couple of friends of his and they're having trouble
getting a license because uh they threaten to reject plans because buyers and and the other
one that they just got in that accident with buyers, both have DUIs.
They say they have six DUIs between them.
How can we put their names on a liquor license?
How can we say you're responsible with alcohol when you have six DUIs?
You're clearly not responsible with alcohol.
I mean, technically, they're responsible with alcohol.
They're not responsible with driving.
Driving, yeah.
They've never died from drinking.
Tim Hanna, Timothy Hanna was the main owner, kind of the main front man that talked to John Taffer and all that. not responsible with driving yeah they've never died from drinking right uh tim hannah timothy
hannah was the main owner kind of the main front man that talked to john taffer and all that but
he had the other two and lb was like that he's the face of the place yeah you go in you want to
you want to go meet lb the famous bruins enforcer you just go to that bar and there he is hanging
out yeah so that's kind of what it was it's what they all do everybody wants to have a beer with
somebody they recognize yeah Yeah. Yeah.
So the police chief recommended that they deny them a liquor license and all that sort of thing.
So, yeah, LB's pissed.
He says, quote, obviously what's in question is my integrity and my judgment.
But he says he urged them to give us all a chance and all that sort of thing.
He says that they're going to keep trying to get a liquor license.
He says, quote, we're not going anywhere.
We want to open a respectable family restaurant slash pub that people are proud of and we're
proud of.
That's what he says.
The real gangster thing to say.
We're respectable people.
Respectable family establishment.
You know what I mean?
None of this craziness.
Place you can bring your kids on a Sunday.
Yeah, on a Sunday.
And you bring your girlfriends on a Saturday.
So Angry Ham's Garage is the name of the place. All right your kids on a sunday yeah and your sunday then you bring your girlfriends on a saturday and you know so angry ham's garage is the name of the place all right that's a restaurant angry ham's garage yeah not and grill or and burgers sounds like where you
get your fucking muffler fix exactly like that's me if you saw it in the phone book or under you
google just what's in the area and you saw that on the map and you're like fucking yeah i'm thinking back then still no phone i guess it sounds like a place where because in the garage
is where you go have your bees you know yeah that's what they're going for right so in the
episode the problem is uh john taffer comes in and i guess some of the local people uh don't like
the name angry hams because it take off on framing ham. So they're saying that they're pissy people.
And John Taffer comes in and says, well, that's you're pissing off the neighborhood.
And even if you piss off half of these people, you need all of them to support you.
Yeah.
So he tries to help these people.
Basically, they talk about the liquor license.
So they end up putting the ownership solely in the one guy's name to get the liquor license that's the solution there apparently the bar and it was too they were
managing it like shit it was a fucking mess um just in terms of uh you know food would come out
super late and they didn't have any like portion control they were making like enormous burgers
that were like a loss they were taking a loss on burgers if i remember correctly on that one
that's awesome so it's pretty interesting so john taffer says they have to change the name of the bar uh they of course
refuse to because they're being total dicks the entire time everybody there yeah uh lb is kind of
in and out and like looks hung over when he's there and he doesn't look real into it and like
he doesn't show up for one of the main things they have to do like he's just not there it's it's fucked up man uh anyway they they they changed the name to the octane bar and grill
i have seen that interesting and they end up making some changes they put a motorcycle in
the main thing but they take down a bunch of shit because they had like all sorts of like very
aggressive shit in there like you know they had a punching machine and they had like all all this type of shit where taffer's like you're that's the wrong crowd if you're
encouraging fighting you're yeah it was like things on the wall were all like real like you
know hey punch them fucking punch a nun in the face you know not that's but you know aggressive
shit and also uh they they found out that the staff gave away $2,807 in liquor in four days.
Gave it away.
Gave it away in overpours and free drinks and that sort of shit.
$3,000 in booze.
Three days.
That's a lot.
So times 10 in a month.
Yeah.
Add that up.
You're already down.
Yeah, you're almost 30 grand a month.
$42 million.
Yeah, that's $85 trillion.
So the taffer ended up saying uh about the the whole thing quote
i feel terrible about it but i don't regret it the biggest problem for that business in the eyes of
the city of the people trying to get the liquor license was lb and there's no way i could have
affected a turnaround without taking lb away as the face of that business his whole thing was to
get lb out of the place uh he was
saying that like he played i don't like the one thing in this episode they made it seem like lb
scared people and shit which in that environment they come to see him if they're scared of him
it's because that's what they want it's not a matter no one's like oh that guy like pushed me
around but they tried to make it seem like that that was the one thing in that episode i thought
was total horseshit i'm sure there's plenty of horseshit but that was one
where i was like come on he's not that he's he's a big dude and he commands attention yeah and he's
imposing but he's not fucking scary i mean he could be and i'm sure so i assume with some drinks
enemy might be he might be a little louder and that's yeah uh he says lb says that the show
wasn't at all grounded in reality
he says the bar was better off when he was involved and he said any suggestion that suggestion that he
was responsible for angry ham's problems is bullshit he says quote i love how they make me
out to be the bad guy it was bar rescue that wrecked that place i think it was a spoof i think
that guy that guy goes around punking bars so i mean yeah maybe i know
another dude that agrees with him yeah well whose business he's dead wrong worse yeah he was totally
wrong yeah he should have listened so uh the place as of like 2015 four years later had three stars
on yelp ouch and a lot of one star reviews that were all hinged on bad service which is piss poor
management there's that's it that's just bad management right if you there's there's no excuse
for bad service because you go to a restaurant a lot of them service is great they have shit going
there's no reason you can't do that it's no reason it's just management lb is not serving tables so
that is not his no but the whole general vibe is like they hired all their
friends and like their friends worked there rescue me yeah they weren't real they weren't real like
you know strict with the with the staff that's why they were giving away booze and so see how
rescue me turned out there you go yeah canceled no he was on for years it was christ's sake
so uh the place ended up they sold the place in 2016 and gave up and after when a new a new uh
owner bought it and then got a series of liquor license violations the new owner did
and changed the name of it to the beacon street grill which is what it is now uh 2015 uh 24 more
in addition they they filed a lawsuit and now 24 more players in 2015 joined the class action
lawsuit alleging that the NHL was aware of the long term implications of head trauma
in this suit.
Lyndon Byers is one of the guys here.
So LB puts in there.
That's 92 former players as of 2015 were involved in this suit.
And I believe it's still going on this suit, if I'm not mistaken.
They're going to win.
They've got to, right?
They're fucking better.
They've got to.
Dude, there's so much evidence.
Just from the Rudy Pochek, just from that, enough right there.
Absolutely.
These guys, it's fucked.
And the NFL set a precedent for them, too.
And because they did the same thing.
And it's not a matter, if the second they found out how dangerous it was the
leagues right they told the players none of this would be a problem they all reached the conclusion
at the same time nobody knew nobody should know anybody's shit no but the second they know one
thing and they don't fucking tell the players about it especially if they intentionally hide
it where's aaron brockovich fuck you let's go break out your checkbook assholes. So currently he is on WAAF radio 107.3 in Boston, which Jimmy appeared on 530 to 10
a.m.
Monday through Friday.
If you want to hear him, he's pretty good on the radio from what I understand.
He was also doing like a YouTube series thing.
It's like a three minute little thing on YouTube.
Here is his here is his bio on the radio station here quote lyndon
byers or lb hails from the land of molson ice and snow canada but he's lived in boston so long we
consider him an honorary townie not to mention he drinks like a mass hole now okay you can't put
that on there from a guy who's all of his problems have come from alcohol. That would be like if they see equivalent if under R. Kelly's bio somewhere, they said
multi-platinum artist, Grammy Award winner, a performer of I Believe I Can Fly, ladies
man.
You can't have that on the fucking site.
No, don't tout that, please.
On the fucking site.
No.
Don't tout that.
Right. Please.
Jesus.
Honorary PhDs from all these colleges.
Played Doxter Oxtool.
Yeah.
Played.
What the fuck?
Ladies' Man.
Ladies' Man.
Can't say drinks like a asshole.
Jesus.
You can't put that on his bio.
That's just not cool for him.
You may recognize him from the Glory Days playing for the Boston Bruins.
Matt Damon recognized him one time and they shared a few laughs when he was in a movie with him. him you may recognize him from the glory days uh playing for the boston bruins matt damon recognized
him one time and they shared a few laughs and he was in a movie with him uh just ask lb about it
l apparently probably says it all the time lb is the sports guy although his accuracy for facts
is about as slim as his waistline lb is also our he's like me he's yeah he's the lb is also our
resident captain topper which means no matter what we talk about,
he probably has been there and done that from playing in the Stanley Cup finals to camping
in the Teton Mountains with Glenn Close.
This guy has pretty much done it all.
Just be prepared.
His stories can be longer than his hockey career.
So clearly it's a ball breaking bio, but don't put the drinking part on there.
That just looks bad.
And I'm sure he's like, hey, it's on the ink. How about we don't put the boo part on there that just looks bad and i'm sure he's like hey ixnay on the
ink yeah how about how about we don't put the booze part in there but he was distracted by the
yeah i know glenn close i know glenn close that feels pretty good that's that's not bad at all
man so yeah that that's uh that's that he i and in bar rescue he was driving yeah he drove away
and back so he had his license back by 2011 when they filmed it.
So that's good to know.
Can't get enough of LB.
You can get an LB hockey card from the 88-89 season, Boston Bruins.
It is $3 plus $4 shipping.
Not too shabby at all.
It'll be there in just a couple of weeks.
You can get a signed Bruins puck, which is pretty cool,
for only 20 bucks.
Yeah.
That's kind of cool.
That sounds right.
And there's a lot of stuff like signed jerseys
and a lot of shit like that.
He puts a lot of jerseys up
and stuff for charity all the time.
He's constantly doing stuff like that.
You can follow him on Twitter
at LBWAF.
Yeah.
Yeah, his little profile here,
Lyndon LB Buyers,
Boston Bruins, number 34, WAF 107.3, sports nitwit on Hillman Morning Show, playgirl playmate of the year 92.
He's so funny.
And teledictions engineer.
I don't know what the fuck.
I love it.
Teledictonics engineer.
I don't know what that means.
I think it's just fucking around.
It's a joke.
He has 45,800 followers.
He is crushing.
So not too bad.
He only follows 1,900 people.
That's probably all the amount of people in Boston that can get on Twitter.
That can get.
I figured it out.
Sorry, Boston.
Like, I can't figure it out.
This shit is stupid.
And we love you, Boston Price.
So how do I reply to this shit?
What do I do now?
So now it's in another window where they replied to me?
You know what? Fuck all these people. I window where they replied to me? You know what?
Fuck all these people.
I'm not replying to anybody.
You want to reply?
Kiss my balls.
That's a reply.
Kiss my camera B.
There you go, fella.
With that said, that's LB.
Thank you, LB, for all of this.
That is Lyndon Byers.
You're amazing.
Yes, thank you for having us on your radio show or having Jimmy on and the offer of having me on as well.
I appreciate you with the signed picture and all that shit.
Sorry if this was harsh, but, you know, fuck it.
We were just being honest and fair.
You made some mistakes.
I think we were being fair.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's not a terrible guy.
I still fucking root on him.
He's so great.
We play idiot or asshole.
He had some idiot moments.
He's kind of a funny fucking dude.
Yeah.
He's a ballsy kind of a fighter guy.
Not an asshole.
As a guy, you look at him and you go
it's a fucking cool guy you know what i mean so whatever he never beat the shit out any women
kill anybody or he could have driving but so many times so could have a lot of people all the time
yeah so that happens not that that's good but i mean mistakes happen and he hasn't made one in a
long time so whatever we're rooting for lb for continued success. Hope you get some cash out of the NHL too.
You deserve it.
You've had your brains
pounded in plenty for that.
So if you like that story,
please, please let us know.
Get on iTunes,
Apple Podcasts,
whatever,
the purple icon
or wherever you listen
to podcasts
and give us a review.
Five stars would be great.
Tell us you're following
instructions,
following directions,
whatever.
It's not the words
that matter.
It is not for our ego. No. business head over to shut up and give me
murder.com for all your crime and sports and small town murder needs um you can get live to
live show tickets because we're going to be announcing a new slate pretty soon yes of live
shows for you guys uh hopefully we think there might be a couple crime and sports mixed in there
oh my goodness yeah down in florida when we said anybody be a couple crime and sports mixed in there oh my goodness
yeah down in florida when we said anybody here listen to crime and sports during the show
it was about 96 so uh you guys are out there so uh maybe we need to start doing this we need to
start doing it so uh yeah thank you to everybody there but yeah get on the website do that buy
stuff leggings and t-shirts and mugs and bath mats and dildos.
We don't have dildos.
Thank God.
But I do have one personally that somebody sent me.
Yeah, that was nice.
That was very sweet.
Very, very sweet.
Yeah.
Do that.
Head over there.
While you're at it, follow us on social media.
The links are right there.
You can do it.
It's at Crime and Sports on Twitter, at Crime and Sports on Facebook, at Small Town Murder
on Instagram.
If you want to be an amazing, amazing person.
Oh, also at Crime and Sports at gmail.com, goddammit.
If you want to send us anything there, send your emails.
If you want to be an amazing person and be one of our producers, we're going to talk about in one moment here.
You can do that very easily and again these are links right from the site or just go to them playing patreon.com slash crime in sports or head over to paypal use our email address which
we said was crime and sports gmail.com you can make a one-time donation there and i think it's
time jimmy i think it's time to just tickle the camera b of our entire uh all of our producers
hit me with them jimmy Hit me with them, Jimmy.
Hit me with them like a 68 Chevy flying over my sedan.
This week's executive producers are Jeff Beck, Candace Kennedy, who donated both ways, and then sent me birthday gifts.
Wow, that sounds so dirty.
I know.
Yeah, both ways.
Thank you.
Thank you, Candace.
I really appreciate it.
DJ Wet, which sounds terrible also.
That, again, sounds quite. e-bitch from p-town
she donated both ways also uh paul powell uh amy conley uh ben armstrong emily mitchell cody uh
beretta britain edwards katrina white david clark amy spicer marianne stump mary price Mary Price, Jacqueline McCardle, Brandon Wasco, Gary Laidlaw, Amy O'Hearn, Graham McGregor, and Candice Whittington.
Thank you guys so much.
You do such heavy lifting for us, and we can't do anything to tell you how much we really appreciate it.
Thank you. This is a weak attempt. do without you we can't do anything to to tell you how much no we really appreciate it thank you
this is a weak attempt yeah this is as this is as futile as as this is as much as we can do yet
it's so futile yep uh cindy harper uh caitlin wilhelm justin miller who donated again the guy
he donates like five times a week because he listens to the show yeah yeah don't donate
which is fucking great it It's pretty cool.
Thank you.
Lanny.
Lanny.
Is that Lanny?
What did I do?
Lanny Blunk.
I think that's right.
Cool.
And this one is.
Okay.
I'm going to do my best.
Ksenia.
No, it's got to be Ksenia.
Ksenia Komarnik.
Komarnik.
Okay.
Komarnik.
It's C-K-Y-J.
No, I'm never going to figure that.
I'm a dummy.
I didn't.
Okay.
Ksenia.
I want to do it fast, and I'm never going to do it.
Kelly Ingalls.
Reagan Shalkley.
Bree Ryan in Montana.
Thank you, Bree.
Keith Cole.
David Renazzi.
Gary Howard came to Florida and brought us up thank you gary thanks man
that's the ron the floor pick that's right dope pretty dope uh hayley marble rachel stora uh
daphne jean daphne john daphne john baptista yes yes under the sea fabrics laura souder
robin robin skelly or robin s kelly damn it i think it's skelly okay i'm pretty sure it's shit debbie debbie debbie demi lemming is that right debbie debbie ng lenny what did i do
god damn it i think it's debbie you are a disaster this week good lord heather millenni uh paul
ruess again thanks paul uh amanda burke kyle don Donahue, Thomas Fryman, Jason Fuller coming
through. Dang, Jay Fuller.
He's fantastic.
Rishi
Deshpande.
Rishi Deshpande. I think that's right.
Thomas Ludwig, Janice Hill,
Aaron Ishaik. It's so many
vowels. Jessica Jensen,
Kyle Godert,
Delaney Trotter, Nancy Grahamham jen lamb uh jennifer lamb
thomas smith lindsey westcott wendy dies christopher dobronsky mpc there's no i don't know
if it's a business i don't know what that is uh jessica omert uh stephen rude britney frers uh
damon uh no last name jesse hartman sebastian stumbo or is it yeah stumbo uh winnie ray ria
winnie ria i don't know if that's it's like a i think they're of the dire fortune yes
mike chapman robin francis looking for a way in there is susan hankle uh may lee elliott maggie
l ruth eginowski egin kowski i was fucking close i was was. Chelsea Hanson, Mike Valdez, Jasmine Berninger, Kimberly Miller, Laura Yarnell, Mike Lee,
James Marder, who I found out.
That is his real name.
Oh, wow.
James Marder, spelled like a martyr, which I thought was an ode to you.
Jonathan Wilder, Brent Borgers, Gina Ozuna, Roscoe Van Dam, Brandon Wasco.
I already said his.
He donated twice.
Thank you, Brandon.
Sachin Vats or Sachin Vats, all the way from New Delhi, which was fucking amazing.
Thank you so much.
That's amazing.
Laura Sainer.
No, Laura Sainer, Adam Gonzalez, Russell Tobler, Benjamin with no last name, Tess Devine.
She's the one, I I believe who sent the masturbatory
products. Okay.
I don't know
what to think. Gina Kudajarov,
Thomas Slater, Nikki Linderman,
Linderman, what?
Linderman, Neil Patel,
George Cole, Debbie Winther
Lemming, that's what it was. It was
Debbie Lemming. That was the other one.
She donated twice. Thank you, Debbie. Rebecca Lieber, Margaret Fainberg, Ben Larson, Nicole Chastain,
Pete Oberhaus, Georgia Lilly, Alex Fuss, Ashley Vio. Again, thank you. Chelsea Morgan. Again,
thank you. Troy Graham, Panhandle Games, which they play a game and then donate money of the
winnings. That's so cool. Thank you so much.
Jennifer Mulder, Amanda with no last name, Sarah Urban,
and Martina Lee Luonga up in San Francisco, I believe, right?
Absolutely.
Thank you so much, Martina.
Thank all of you for doing what you do.
You do some really amazing work, and we appreciate it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you, everybody.
Truly, thank you for everything you do for us because it blows us away.
We say it every week, and we mean it no less every week.
Thank you guys for supporting Crime and Sports and continuing to do that.
And obviously, you tout it as much as you can,
and you guys are awesome to us.
So we really, really appreciate that.
And what if people really, really appreciated you, Jimmy?
How could they let you know?
You can find me at WismanSucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks,
on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. And and this week you guys sending me birthday things and everything personal
i gotta i've got fuck i've got like 500 messages to catch up so thank you guys so much i appreciate
that it's it's really thoughtful and uh it makes me feel like i'm doing something that matters so
thank you and where can they find you you could find me find me at Jimmy P is funny or just copy and paste my last name from the show
description and look me up that way.
There won't be a whole lot of them out there.
Most of them are going to be me and one lawyer in Pittsburgh.
So find me that way.
Yeah.
Don't try to spell it.
Page six.
Yeah.
Well, now he is.
Yeah.
When I started.
Yeah.
I was like, I got to crack this motherfucker.
Now he's buried now.
So he's like, fuck, he hates me.
Probably fucking hates me.
It's like every time my clients try to Google me, they think I'm an asshole comedian.
Fucking makes fun of assholes and athletes and murder and shit.
So, yeah, that's a lot of fun.
But guys, thank you for hanging out with us this week.
It's a fun one.
We got a crazy ass one next week.
It's a little darker. So we figured we'd go light and fun this week.
I like it.
Hope you had fun.
Order your Uber Meats now.
I'm sure there's going to be a t-shirt, too, for that one.
Yeah, that's a little bit.
Thank you guys for everything live from the Crime and Sports Studios.
We will see you next week.
Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music.
Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts.
Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at
wondery.com slash survey.
The wait
is over. So far
you're not losing. The only thing you're losing
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Bing! The queen
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You wouldn't know the truth if it
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I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
Okay, so, um...
This is not a so.
This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
The Emmy Award-winning series returns.
How did I know that?
I have a crystal ball in my head.
It's an all-new season.
It's streaming.
You can say anything.
Judy Justice, only on Freebie.