Crime in Sports - #152 - Is There Cocaine In That Dumpster? - The Amphibiousness of Chris Washburn
Episode Date: March 5, 2019This week, we stare up at a giant of a man, who just never figured out how to be a functioning, adult member of society. Everything was taken care of for him, like bad grades, lazy play, or e...ven brushes with the law, until one day, things weren't taken care of, and his life quickly spiraled out of control. He was arrested for everything from slapping female college students, to burglary, and cocaine. A whole lot of cocaine. This episode is truly what Crime In Sports is all about!! Score less on your SATs than your height, never take responsibility for your transgressions, and always chase the biggest crack rock out there with Chris Washburn!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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The Queen of the Courtroom is back.
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Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports.
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Thank you, folks, so much for joining us today.
We are psyched.
We have a crazy wild episode.
Good.
This is a Crime and Sports classic.
Yeah.
All the elements.
Juniors, silver-haired middle-aged white men raining from the sky every lunatic behavior
that we've chronicled in crime and sports every stupid decision this guy embodies it
walking crime and sports episode can't wait for that uh hope you enjoyed last week as we did
lb uh the uh the lb uh the lb cams would be his band if he had a band.
The LB cams in itself.
That was a fun episode, too.
That was a great.
But this one here, this is like very little sports, whole lot of crime in this one.
Just a whole lot of fuckery and insanity and craziness.
Before we get to that, though, a little house cleaning.
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Yes, other people in the crime sports because
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So thank you, guys.
We appreciate the hell out of that.
And we do have a quick update before we get started on this story, because this story's crazy.
But we have an update on an even more lingering story,'ll call it uh tammy sitch oh boy sunny from the wwe there who we did an episode
on i think it was she loved booze 119 or 120 episode number something like that crazy ass
episode she's really a mess and uh another dui for tammy she's racked up one more um i don't know
at least she didn't scale anybody's up to the
third floor and break in anybody's apartment
and be dragged away by police.
Yeah, she is
in rarefied DUI air.
She really is. It's impressive almost at this
point. She should hook up with Mark
Grace. The two of them would have
so much fun. Man, they would. They'd have a good
old time. So, Tammy,
wow. Get it together lady come on
jesus do that and uh let's get to our our our star of the week here our fella of the week here it is
uh we play idiot or asshole a lot asshole or idiot which one is it we're definitely gonna go
with idiot here yeah this guy's a fucking idiot more than he is an asshole i don't feel like he's
got a a mean bone in him for the most part but uh he's does makes about every decision you could make where it's like i could go down this
road and it's great or i can go down total destruction he picks the wrong one every time
a broken clock is right twice a day this guy has never been right twice in his life you're right
so uh chris broken clock washburn we're going to talk about
oh chris washburn no yes no basketball nba well yeah no don't remember chris
i had jamal in my head that's all i can say mashburn oh yeah yeah mashburn not chris washburn
very jesus christ i'm dumb very different. Let's just say that. Extremely different people.
Jamal Mashburn had a successful NBA career and everything.
This guy, not so much.
Okay.
A very successful police career as far as being arrested by them. Oh, fantastic.
He has a really, the record's pretty stout.
Let's just say that.
He's second to none.
It's pretty impressive.
So, and he starts early and everything.
Let's talk about chris
washburn we should shall we hear uh nba if you don't know uh you know what team he played for
sixers nope okay okay very good nailed it nailed it perfect mavericks nope he played for two teams
none of those none of those three all right i'll bet I get to the end of the fucking list before I find one.
We'll probably be drafted in our story by the time you get there.
So we'll just let that play out.
We'll find out.
We'll find out the natural way where he played.
He's born, this whole mess starts May 13th, 1965.
He's born in Hickory, North Carolina.
So a small town guy in North Carolina. That's where John Reap's from.
The guy that says,
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
John Reap.
I opened for John Reap, actually.
Yeah, he's terrific.
One of the nicest guys ever.
Yeah.
I mean, it's not,
no offense to him.
His audience loves him.
Not my comedic cup of tea,
but he's a great performer.
Unbelievable.
And he's the nicest man
you'll ever meet in your life.
That closing bit about the Cam nicest man camaro yeah yeah that
he did it's like a 15 minute act out forever it takes forever but he his crowd's going bat shit
and he looks like he's having fun he's having a great time what a nice goddamn man though he is
he's the guy that does the the commercials yeah the dodge commercial that thing got a
hemi that thing got a hemi yeah yeah's my guy. What a goddamn nice guy.
So Chris is born to older parents.
Chris is born to his mother, Savannah, was in her 40s when he was born, which is not normal for the mid-60s.
Like now, you see 56-year-old actresses have kids left and right.
It's no problem
but in the 60s if you were like 42 and pregnant they'd be like oh yeah this could go bad real
quick buy new helmets for your baby shower yeah here you go your kid's gonna need this
because they're gonna be bumping their head against the window while they lick it so you're
gonna be that's how they used to think though because i don't know what it was i don't know
if people's bodies are different now.
You know, people age differently now.
And the hormones that are in foods are different.
The hormones that people take are different.
Yeah.
We're scientists.
We're not doctors.
So we have no idea why it's more possible.
The chemical makeup of humans today is different than it was in the 60s.
I think probably the prenatal care is better also.
That too.
And I don't mean that wouldn't have anything to do with that.
We have no idea what we're talking about moving on we have no idea we were speculating no let's not do that we're we have no
clue i thought about i'm like these are just theories based on logic of things that i don't
know about what am i talking about jenny mccarthy right what am i talking about yeah anecdotal
bullshit is not what is needed here.
We don't know why it was bad to have kids in their 40s then, but it's not now.
We don't know.
We don't know.
There it is.
There we go.
That is our scientific theory.
But it was bad.
So anyway, Savannah's in her 40s.
Her and her husband, Dwight, were married for 15 years, and this was their first kid yeah so this is for back then that's just an odd
thing we don't know if they had trouble conceiving or
what but whatever it was
she he
already had a kid from a previous marriage
teenage stepdaughter when Chris was born
now they
thought it was a miracle and they were
happy about it and they weren't necessarily
trying to have a kid but they had a kid and they weren't upset about it.
She really wanted Chris to be healthy.
And Chris grows up to be.
I don't know if this was some sort of like a like a mutation or something.
Instead of him coming out with, you know, intelligence issues or something like that. He comes out gigantic instead.
Should that be something from being older in age?
I think possibly.
Either that or being exposed to some sort of nuclear waste.
I don't know what happened.
Or just living in hickory.
Or living in hickory.
Yeah, I don't know what they were letting companies bury in the ground in the 60s.
Because shit used to be terrible.
You can just put shit anywhere.
But Chris ends up being about 6'11".
Holy shit.
And a big stocky son of a bitch, too.
By the time he was 15, he was 6'10 and 275.
My word.
So he's a big, big, big dude.
Just a giant man.
Harry and the Hendersons movie.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Holy shit.
He's falling through the floor and ripping the handles off refrigerators.
And imagine that.
You're in your 40s and you think everything's fine and then you have a kid
and then you've got to feed this monster.
You're like, Joe, we didn't expect to have to feed someone
who eats more than both of us put together.
This wasn't in our planning.
I've got to reconfigure my 401k.
This whole thing's a mess.
He just ate his sister's corsage.
He's trying to eat his sister now.
Get him away from her.
Hey, Chris.
Put the dog down.
Chris, get her leg out of
your mouth chris i know i know she looks delicious just stop i'll get i'll make you a sandwich it's
a jack russell put it down stop it's not that if you put yeah it'll be better with mustard i'm not
saying it wouldn't be but stop yeah so uh yeah and he was always good at basketball. Also, he said that, quote, I was always coordinated.
I could always dribble.
I could shoot with my left hand.
I could run.
I never lifted weights.
So back then, unless most sports, even up until, Jesus, like in baseball and basketball,
they didn't want you to weight train up until the 90s.
That wasn't.
They want stamina.
Well, they want stamina.
They want flexibility and
they think you get muscle bound you're not flexible you're not quick yeah you're not as fast and you're
not as quick and you're muscular guys not necessarily quote-unquote athletic that's not a
runner that's what they look at it like and even in football until the 70s there was no weight
training they told guys not to weight train you get in trouble for weight training in the 60s
oh everybody now holy shit every one of
these guys looks like they're sculpted bodybuilders they all look like bodybuilders well they're all
on hgh also and that's the other thing so i mean let's let's let's back up for one second in that
regard yeah let's be honest here they are all amazing but they are all so they've really
narrowed it down to the most insane athletes on the face of the planet are trying out for this shit for some reason.
So,
uh,
yeah,
he,
uh,
he goes through,
uh,
school and in high school and everything.
I mean,
he is recruited by prep schools.
I mean,
he's a giant kid who's coordinated.
That's a,
that doesn't come along every day here.
Uh,
so he,
he,
uh,
he was a little bit problem with him is he's always treated a little bit
different yeah i don't know if that's because he's the son of older parents usually if you're
like an only child pretty much because the stepdaughter was out of the house by the time
he was five right so if you're an only child with older parents you tend to be they tend to be a
little they can't keep up with they can't keep up with you they tend to be a little softer on kids in a certain way or a little more helicopter more spoiling
them also that's the other thing so uh they let them get away with a little more things because
they're so happy that they're here you know what i mean we're so happy you're born whereas you know
if you had your kids by accident like we did right you're like hey listen motherfucker this is all
the food you got look stick around I didn't do this on purpose.
I'm just telling you that right now.
Stay closer.
I'll eat it.
You're lucky I didn't just put you in a bush somewhere and leave you behind.
Drop you off at the fire department because that's legal.
No questions asked.
Not one fucking question.
I could have left you there.
Whereas these people, it's a she literally said he was a miracle from God. His mother said when your first child was born, did you go?
It's a miracle from God. Or did you go? Holy shit child was born, did you go, it's a miracle from God?
Or did you go, holy shit, you know how much fucking overtime I have to work now?
Fuck me.
That was the miracle, was that I paid rent and mortgages and bills.
That's what happened.
And then at the end of the month when I've got a few bucks left to go buy diapers, I'm like, this is a fucking miracle.
Holy shit.
I have beer money.
So he was kind of above the rules.
And as a kid who was always enormous to the point where they were like everybody from the time.
If you're that big and that level of size, like people notice you.
Coaches notice you.
Adults notice you and treat you differently from a young age because you're special.
So it's a weird thing too guys like
this this size and everything they're always in the nba you never see guys like this with a killer
instinct yeah you never see a guy who's seven foot tall who plays as hard as dennis rodman did or
plays as hard as a guard does who scraps for because they never they're taught that you're
bigger right and you need to be like stand back and wait for him to come to you and you just block
it and you need to be gentle and also the and wait for him to come to you and you just block it. And you need to be gentle.
And also the other thing too,
you,
everyone will be afraid of you anyway.
You're huge.
So you can't be aggressive.
You have to be extra nice.
And that's how this guy Washburn is very much.
He's known for this big shit eating grin that he always has on his face.
He's always very smiley.
Greg Oster tag,
like Greg Oster.
She's very happy to be there.
Dope.
Yeah.
So it's one of those things.
So you never see a guy like this who's like aggressive and has a killer instinct because
they're always kind of above the rules.
They don't have to fight for anything.
They're taken places.
You're huge.
No, you're on that team.
You don't have to fight for a place on that team.
Whereas like, you know, Michael Jordan didn't make his high school basketball team the
famous.
Is that true?
Yeah, he didn't make it.
Yeah.
As a freshman, he didn't make the team.
But still.
What the fuck ever, dude? Still there. i know people in my high school that were freshmen that
made the team that didn't turn out to be fucking michael jordan so that's that's you know pretty
amazing but i mean a guy that will make a guy go i have to fight harder and i'm gonna shoot 300
more shots whereas him there's never a question he's on the team he's 6 10 right you're on the
team dude don't worry about it you don't really have to stay extra yeah for shooting so that's kind of how his attitude is uh he's a he's kind of above the rules a lot
and that happens to be uh in high school that works out that way and in college it really works
out that way that's a little different in the nba it's a little different when they're paying you
money and they've got a few of you you know they expect things on you yeah the the bench is deep
with three of you so uh one of you fucks up we'll still be fine we'll just trade you for another
person there you go that will stick in your place so it's different when it's a business so uh but
growing up in hickory he says that he's a he was always a country boy and he was you know always
just you know just very kind of a laid-back country kind of guy. He's known as a friendly guy, very quick to smile.
He's also known as overly trusting.
He's kind of naive.
I mean, he's a big kid from the middle of nowhere.
He's like a nice kid who everybody's always nice to his whole life.
No one's ever been a dick to him because he's special.
So he's just a naive kind of guy.
In high school, he becomes a three-time All-American.
Oh.
In high school.
Three times?
Three times.
Sophomore, junior, senior?
Absolutely.
Got it.
Dominant as fuck.
Also, in high school, he starts drinking and smoking weed.
Oh, yeah.
And general fuckery that you do in high school when, you know, everybody kisses your ass
and girls want to fuck you.
Right.
And when everybody else is doing it, too.
Yeah.
And you can get away with it, too. Right. Because it's like's like you know if you're drinking a little it's ah boys will be
boys don't piss them off but if that dipshit in science is smoking weed and he doesn't do a
fucking thing and i play basketball for the team and they're not going to kick me off if he can get
away with it i damn sure can get away with it that's all it's about it's about man so his coach
in high school and uh he starts his first couple years, he plays at Hickory
High School, and his coach there is a guy named David Kraft.
He says that his basketball ability for his size was outstanding for a young age.
He was coordinated very quickly, which most guys, it takes, they have to kind of grow
into their bodies.
At 15, he was grown into his body like
which is weird craft like uh the craft like arts and crafts like not robin not not rub and tug
craft no not not massage parlor craft yeah it's a i by the way uh fuck that guy
um and i don't give a shit about what about the patriots or any of that bullshit or i'm not going
to sit here and fucking talk about the plight of the sex worker because much like why it was
unsafe to have kids when you're 40s back then and not now i don't know enough about the whole thing
to get into the intricate workings of it but i do know that that motherfucker is the first guy
to kick a son of a bitch off his team for the slightest infraction of any fucking kind.
God forbid someone smokes fucking weed.
You are persona non grata.
Fuck you, Josh Gordon.
Go to hell, everybody.
The worst thing in the world.
But you can go fucking get blowjobs
from fucking indentured prostitutes.
Right.
Fine.
From enslaved women. Whatever, Fine. From enslaved women.
Whatever, dude.
You fucking asshole.
The silverest of the silver.
That's the definition of silver,
because that's everything he does plus hypocrisy.
Right.
Silver as it gets.
Holy shit.
My favorite part is that it was five miles from our hotel.
Mm-hmm.
Right down the fucking street.
But you could have been right next to him.
You could have been on the cot right next to him, Jimmy, because i assume it's a cot it could have been right there a military
cot i guarantee it jesus some pulled out thing that had like there was there was something alive
crawling on it i'm certain of it she she said oh it's just tickling and he said what a scumbag so
now david craft, no relation.
Got it.
He says about Chris Washburn here, quote, I've never seen anyone with the talent he has.
He was big, but he never went through that awkward stage.
As a freshman and sophomore, he played like a senior.
Okay.
He said, quote, Chris started on the varsity when he was a freshman, and he scored 21 points in his first game.
Holy shit.
That's a, well, he's 6'10", 275. But 21 in the first game holy shit that's a fully 610 275 but 21 in the first
game that's pretty good yeah in high school too if you're 610 275 you can just pretty much back
a guy down and lay it in or dunk it i mean you're not really getting much much competition between
walking you're you can just stroll to the hoop there's no alonzo morning fucking between you
and the hoop in high school generally you know for the most part uh problem
is he did not do well uh academically because he didn't have to they just carried him through it
his coach said quote let's just say he was young and immature i guess you'd say that he stayed
eligible to play he passed those requirements so uh he didn't do much else but he stayed eligible
enough to play he said quote but he's one of the finest kids i
ever had he got along with teammates and other students and with kids he grew a crowd where i
drew a crowd wherever he went and he took the time to talk to kids he was always very popular
with children uh by the way he does not molest any of the kids i can because right away i saw
jimmy like oh no is he gonna be no molesting in this episode. Nobody else gets hurt. He's all. He's really good with kids.
He's nice to kids.
Got it.
And he's fine.
He never touches them.
As far as we know.
We'll say that.
So he plays two years at Hickory High School before transferring to Fork Union Military
Academy in Virginia.
And then he later transferred to Lauren Berg Institute to play his final year of prep school
before college.
Got it.
So he kind of bounced around.
And Lauren Berg Institute's apparently, it's like a black prep school.
Yeah.
And it has a really, they're alumni here.
It's pretty impressive.
So he's a center like David Robinson or a center like Greg Ostertag?
No, like David Robinson, like a good one who can actually play.
Oh, is he black
he's black because you said it's a black person you said david robinson who's the whitest
black center i've ever seen in my life so if you would have said anybody else on earth is he a
center like manute bull yeah okay yeah or like anybody but david robinson who david robinson
i'm like i think he's just tan. I really do.
That's a Navy guy that sat on the deck a lot.
It's just the way he played, too.
He was a great player, but he played like a really good
white center. He looked like Kevin McHale
out there or something. But he looked like an athletic
white center. Yeah, an athletic, but not
like an Olajuwon or like a
Ewing or a giant
athletic. He played
like a smaller guy, but he didn't have that same uh
presence wasn't he yeah but he had yeah he just didn't have the presence of a like a ewing in the
middle or somebody like that anyway but but he was a great player yeah don't get me wrong so uh
and he actually definitely was black and so is chris washburn got it i asked because he's going
to a black school i'm like is this like a fish out of water story? Is this going to be great?
Is he going to be in the shower?
It's turned into white men can't jump.
He's going to be in the shower and the point guard's dick is much bigger than his.
He's like, oh, man.
No.
It looks like the center and the point guard switched dicks.
I'm not sure about his cock.
But I do know that Dizzy Gillespie went to this school.
Oh. Yes. This is like in a bunch of athletes to uh jimmy walker not not tv's jimmy walker uh yeah no athlete jimmy
walker guys like that a lot of a bunch of athletes went here uh it's it's a kind of a all those prep
schools are for athletic they always have a good athletic team you got to pump the brand yeah so
other people will pay lots of money to go there that's how it works uh 1983 84 he is on the mcdonald's all-american all right so that's a
big deal as we know and i looked up the all-american teams from that it's impressive isn't it it's
pretty impressive uh charles smith was on that not the one we covered the the good one the one
who wasn't the players association a criminal yeah ch criminal, yeah. Chris Washburn, obviously.
Gary Grant, who played for years.
Danny Manning, who played for years.
So a lot of good, decent.
Andrew Lang, who was around for a long time.
So yeah, a lot of decent future NBA players.
He is recruited like crazy.
An absolute frenzy for this guy.
Big men that can move and handle the ball.
That's obviously
going to be and you just mentioned two others with manning and lang they did really well too
oh they did yeah they went to kansas and yeah they they really you know danny manning went to
kansas and he was good but he was six uh was his man six nine was he that big he was six nine but
he was also a thin guy yeah he was more of a super more of a small forward whereas uh this guy is
you know power forward center ideally you want this guy to
be a center yeah a big dominant guy in the middle uh he receives 278 letters my fuck uh only from
north carolina state so he received 278 letters postcards and mail grams from one school that's
stalking well and that's just one so all the schools did that wow think about what
his fucking mail was oh jesus back then like they used to probably have to bring him sacks of mail
or the big tubs or something because he was getting each one labeled with which college it's
from literally every school is sending him shit every day is that from a different person each
one no that's how they recruit it's they're sending you this they're sending you a letter
saying how great you're going to be.
Then they'll send you a mock-up of you in a uniform.
Then they'll send you a press release of what's going on at the school.
And then they'll send you something about we're building a new thing in the basketball arena.
That's too much.
And then they'll send you a thing about how you're going to be a star.
It's fucking crazy.
They stalk these kids.
And an 18-year-old kid from the middle of nowhere how do you handle that no it's crazy i couldn't handle
that now you know and this is the prettiest girl yeah like that it's oof and that's got to really
jack up your ego that's harassment and stalking at its finest and that's what it does and that's
every that's every big recruited that's every blue chip recruit of every college sport in America.
And we're shocked that rooks fuck up.
You know what I mean?
That's crazy.
We're shocked that people think they're above the law, too.
I mean, especially at the school.
They tell you you're going to be a god.
In one coach, in one letter, Jim Valvano, who was the coach, Jim Valvano was the guy who made,
ESPN loves to show his speech because he had cancer.
And he made that big ranting speech
and it's supposed to be the most inspirational speech on the face of the earth okay people
watched the jim valvano speech to get pumped up okay it's this never give up never blah blah blah
i've probably seen it you don't recall definitely seen it the only one i see is chuck pagano no no
you've definitely seen this guy uh you've definitely seen the speech we'll put it that way
it's him going nuts uh he says quote i've never this isn't a letter to washburn i've never met
someone who enjoys life and lives it to the fullest as much as you do which i don't know
if you want your coach your future coach to say that about you um yeah and then uh his one of
valvano's assistants wrote washburn's mother, because they send letters to your parents, too.
What do they say to her?
Saying, quote, Chris is very important to us as a player and a person.
So that's the type of shit they're sending.
Great tits.
You have a great ass, number one.
I don't care that you're 62.
That's fine.
I'll put another in you.
Doesn't matter.
I think you can handle it.
Science has come a long way.
We think it's science.
I don't know.
I'm not a doctor i'm
sorry that's the closing we are so sorry we're sorry so uh 84 85 is his first year of college
he chooses to go to north carolina state which is a big deal in north carolina especially because
they won the national championship the season they're coming off uh national championship it
was the big huge underdog cinderella okay national championship i can't even picture what color are they green
no they're the wolf pack they're red i don't know what that one is i don't think i've seen that one
you've never seen nc state it doesn't ring a bell the wolf pack i only know north carolina in that
hole there's north carolina wake forest duke and nc state are all in the same area and duke yeah
duke's right there They're all right there.
It's all the tobacco people.
Yeah.
You can visit all of them in one day.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay.
I've been down there.
It's pretty cool.
Have I ever seen their jerseys?
I don't know that I have.
I don't know.
Did you watch ESPN at all when you were a kid?
Because all the NC State games used to be on constantly.
I remember when I was a kid.
How come?
I can't pick one out of my head right now.
Well, he goes there anyway.
Oh, you know what?
I'm thinking Michigan State.
Yeah, that's...
That's green.
That's green.
No, this is red.
That's what I said.
I thought it was green.
Yeah, this is not...
That's why I thought that.
Well, North Carolina, Michigan, same thing.
They're often confused for each other, obviously.
I am so good at this.
So he chooses to go to the national champion, huge program.
So at that moment, you know, the program on everybody's lips and it's close to his house.
I mean, it's in the same state.
Things are good.
Great.
Grace.
Now, this is grace right now.
Yeah, this is this is grace.
It's all going to go downhill.
It's all going to go downhill from here very, very quickly.
Like before the NCAA tournament this this year it's already going to
be a mess oh boy so uh yeah he he right away he knows that he gets whatever he wants at school
if he fucks up people don't call him on it uh people don't tell him no for anything he just
kind of does whatever he wants right because he's like big they recruited the shit out of him
and he's this big impressive guy that they all want to make happy here and uh so he just they coddle him and just like his parents coddled him just like high
school coddled him uh he says chris says about this quote anything that i did wrong someone would
take care of it not having brothers and sisters everything i did i had to learn on a firsthand
basis when i did something dumb instead of me taking the fall for that, they would be cleaning it up,
allowing me to have more rope.
That's the formula of thinking you're above the law.
But at the same time,
he is an unpaid person
who's making your university a whole bunch of money.
So it's a trade-off.
It's a trade-off.
But they're not doing him any favors.
If he wants to be in a structured environment of college and he wants to get that experience
they're not giving him that experience which is not what they told him they were going to do or
i'm sure what they told his parents they were going to do mrs washburn's sitting back there
with her nice tits going why is my kid my ass is too nice for this this is ridiculous this is out
this is out of line yeah 62 years old and it's fine.
That's right.
I'm a J-Lo of the South, baby.
So the basketball program here,
they said, he always says that was like his biggest enabler
was the basketball program at NC State.
He had shit grades in high school,
but NC State told him don't worry about that.
They told him don't worry about that.
They told him, don't worry about taking the SAT.
Don't worry about your scores because we got you covered.
We'll get you in anyway.
Wow. I mean, even the basic minimums that you needed, they ignored them completely to get him in.
I guess that's common knowledge, right?
That SATs are generally fucking sidestepped.
Well, now it's a little more.
Now you'll get in huge trouble for this.
I mean, back then you would, too, but now it's like it'll be a big bigger deal back then this was
just common practice he's six he's 6 11 that's the only test score i care about that's the one number
what did he score on his s.i.t 6 foot 11 6 11 6 11 no he actually got a 322 6. So it doesn't matter.
Chris says, quote, this is about NC State.
The coaches over there told me, you're already signed.
You're already in school. You just have to take the test just to get into the college.
When they told me it didn't matter what score I was getting,
I went in for about 22 minutes.
I just marked down answers.
Mark, mark, mark.
He didn't care.
He said, quote, if the coach told me I needed a 700 or an 800 on the test to get into school,
I could have got that.
But when they said I didn't need it, I didn't need it.
So he just didn't give a shit.
So out of a possible 1600, he gets a 470, which that's not great.
That's what happens when you just mark, mark, mark.
It's less than 611 is what that is.
It's less than that. I'm impressed with that number guessing. You know, that's not happens when you just mark mark mark it's less than 611 is what that is that's less than that i'm impressed with that number guessing you know yeah that's not too shabby
actually that's that's not too bad here uh this actually reports about him later on would uh make
one of the it would be one of the things that made the ncaa raise minimum standards for minimum
standards for athletes to get into college. Because basically this was just like
that met standards.
That's how low it was then.
So they made it where you can't just recruit
people who can't spell their name and put
them in school. So that was
a thing there. Dexter Manley.
That's what I mean.
This is what I'm saying. And in the 80s it was running
rampant because college was becoming
college sports were becoming a huge business market yeah but it was still the wild west it
was the ncaa trying to regulate but it was still the wild west but yet there was millions of
dollars at stake right so you the the that was a the technology was ahead of uh it was like world
war one where like the technology was ahead of the strategy got it you can't just sit in bunkers
and blast each other with new weapons like that you're gonna fuck everything up yeah you're gonna
lose some casualties it's gonna be bad yeah the mustard gas is everywhere it's a mess so uh
september of 1984 freshman year this is the beginning of the season i don't even think
the season starts yet in september college basketball i don't even know i think it starts
in october might just get started i mean he's just there he's certainly in training
he's in yeah he certainly should be in the gym worried about basketball instead he's slapping
a female student in a dorm oh boy uh he's convicted of slapping a female of jesus christ
this apparently wasn't a big deal then for some reason. You could just slap a lady.
You could be 6'11", 300 pounds and slap a woman.
And they were like, that's fine.
It's the South.
I don't know if he told everybody she burned dinner or something.
I don't know what the fuck.
And they were like, oh, well, she got off easy.
I don't know what it was.
But yeah, apparently this isn't much of a deterrent to slap anybody, I would say. It was a misdemeanor, and he was fined $25 plus court costs and got a 30-day suspended sentence.
It's $25 to slap a bitch.
So you can just slap away.
Wayne Brady, get to work.
$25.
It's like, that's not enough to be a giant man slapping a woman. We need more of a deterrent than that, I would say. $25. It's like, that's not enough to be a giant man slapping a woman.
We need more of a deterrent than that, I would say.
$25.
$25.
Plus, it kind of looked bad.
This is our new star.
Oh, shit.
He's slapping women.
He's been here a week and a half, and he's already hitting people.
Women, no less.
If you knew that slapping somebody was the $25 fine on your first one. You would save that for a good one.
You don't understand.
The moment that it's...
I would lick it.
I would have a special lotion that I'd be always rubbing on my hand to get my skin just right.
I would be...
You would see me...
Why is he always working with his hand and working on it?
I don't understand it.
I'm getting it ready.
I'm stealing it.
Making that $25 worth it.
Yeah. And it's just going to be wha-bang! And the skin's going to be just right. don't understand it i'm getting it ready i'm stealing it making that 25 worth it yeah i'm
gonna get it's just gonna be wha bang and the skin's gonna be just right it's gonna sound like
a fucking gunshot i'm gonna lick it before it happens that's right that sound is gonna echo
oh you know it it's gonna deafen anybody within a five foot radius jesus christ it's gonna deaf
it is gonna deafen them like what someone gets? Did someone get shot? Nope. That was my one.
And you drop two tens and a five on the floor like Sonny Corleone on top of a broken camera
and you fucking walk away.
Flick, flick, flick.
Yeah.
I spent it.
Spent it.
So that's not great.
No.
That's not a great first impression to make on the school.
But shockingly, they don't give a shit.
Not frowned upon.
They're basketball crazy at this school. they just had a huge successful year they're basketball crazy so if he can help the team whatever i'm sure she was being mouthy that's i think that's
the general consensus so it goes which is insane so uh now the next month in october the next month
jimmy uh they are on a tour in Greece playing basketball doing
a tour in Greece and he is
he's arrested in Greece for shoplifting
oh boy what did you
want there what are you doing shot
you don't know what their justice system is like
that's a good point shoplifting
foreign don't do anything if you're in a
foreign country you mind your P's and
Q's fuck yeah you don't even know what the
courts if they arrest you and put you in jail you don't even go well i know my rights no you don't you
don't know shit you might not have any you know nothing i get a phone call no you don't you don't
get shit in north korea they'll have you fucking murdered for that drawn and quartered they shoot
people with artillery yeah they literally shoot people
with missiles over there or shit like that family members of the of the guy of the weird of the
weird haircut guy they will explode him for nothing yeah so jesus christ
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She wanted to fight me.
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This is not a so. This is a period.
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Judy Justice, only on freebie so anyway he does play some basketball in here on that team several future nba players on this team
nate mcmillan who was a really good guard for the sonics for a long time. Yeah, he was, actually.
We have Vinny Del Negro, who we talked about last week.
Yeah, we did.
He was on the team.
Spud Webb, your man. Oh, right.
Your guy, a Jimmy-sized basketball player.
He's also there.
Lorenzo Charles.
I mean, there's a few future NBA regulars here.
So that's probably why they were.
Mainstays of the playoffs.
Yeah, probably why they were a good team, I would say, right right there but it turns out six guys on this team end up playing in the
nba okay which isn't too goddamn shabby now uh december 19th 1984 so september october and now
december because he had thanksgiving off he's he has it's christmas break december 19th 1984
it's literally everybody's on christmas
break that for that week this he hasn't been at school for like four months he's played like
eight games so far what are you fucking doing what are you doing uh he climbs through a window
of a friend's dorm not his no no not not his dorm and uh quote removes uh see steal yeah there's another word for removes
if you climb through a window and remove items that's stealing that is breaking and entering
yeah that's like that's like on small town murder she poked him with a knife right nope no that's
called stabbing yeah sorry you can't sugarcoat the same thing same shit so this is uh stealing this would
be technically a turntable an amp a tape deck and two stereo speakers is he a fucking dj now
he's imagine him carrying all that too out of here but how do you do that it's a whole just
a big stereo system what floor did he take this one i hope the first floor i hope he didn't scale
down a wall with all this shit actually 6 11 he just put his feet down and landed down yeah oh hold on one minute he places it on
the ground from the second floor uh but this was like in 1984 this was like a top of the line
system uh valued at 800 an 800 system in 84 so this was uh top notch this was uh from the room
of william west who's a sophomore
a sophomore on the football team okay so he's another athlete and he went to school with chris
at one of the prep schools got so chris knew him and uh west said william west said that washburn
visited him in his room the day before he ended up stealing all the shit and he said chris came
over and he said quote he was asking
the cost of the stereo and he was reminding me to take it home when he went for for christmas break
and uh you know somebody might steal that somebody could steal that man how much is that worth i'd
take that the fuck out of here if i were you man that shit could get stolen and then oh wow it's
weird uh they went to fork Union Military Academy together in 1982.
That's how they know each other.
He is charged, Chris is, with breaking in and stealing the five pieces of stereo equipment.
He says it was just a prank.
That's his defense.
That's a bad defense.
They're saying, oh, no, no, this is burglary, and you're up for prison time, Chief.
This is not a prank.
B&E's a hell of a prank, bud.
That's the thing.
In a taped interview, when they arrest him, the police, the Raleigh Police Department,
at first he denies any knowledge of the theft at all.
He knows nothing about it.
And then over the course of the interview, he admits more and more and more.
Every time they would accuse him of lying, he'd go, all right, well, I did this, but not that.
And then they'd go, no, you did that.
He goes, okay, I did that, but not that. And then they go, no, you did that. He goes, okay, I did that, but not this.
And he'd just do this whole thing.
And he is dumb as shit.
Yeah.
He's not a good criminal, really.
He's not a criminal mastermind.
He's just used to you do shit and then your coach takes care of it.
Right.
And then that's that.
He's used to do shit, say don't do that shit, say okay, and then go do other shit.
And when they say, why'd you do that? He shrugs and they go, well, you won't do that shit yeah okay yeah and then go do other shit and when they say why'd
you do that he shrugs and they go well you won't do it again right and then he goes nah you know
shakes his head and they go all right then keep playing basketball while making me money in his
defense he didn't shoplift no in his defense he didn't smack anybody that's true he is doing
something else he's not doing that shit again no No. Apparently, the cop in the interview told him, quote, Chris, I'm telling you like it
is.
This is the real world now.
Coach Valvano cannot protect you.
That probably scared the shit out of him.
I would think at that point.
That's when he started breaking because this whole thing only took 27 minutes.
27 minutes to go from.
Did you do it?
No.
No.
Did you do it?
Fucking and this and this and that.
And did I tell you what I did when I was nine?
I stole my sister's fucking.
Yeah, exactly.
He's a brilliant guy.
27 minutes.
He says that eventually he admits that he did remove the stereo equipment without permission.
But quote, I was going to give it back.
That's his excuse.
I was going to give it back.
He said he was just playing a joke on a friend.
And then they said, well, you know, what did you do with it?
And he said that he brought the equipment to, quote, a guy in Durham, which is Raleigh, Durham.
It's the other city there.
And, quote, I can get it back.
I sold it.
I went and sold it.
Or I owed someone money and I gave him a stereo.
But I can get it back if you need it.
Which you were going to give it back?
If you was a prank, wouldn't you be like, yeah, it's in the backseat of my car. I was going to give it back if you need it which you were gonna give it back if you was a prank why
wouldn't you be like yeah it's in the back seat of my car i was gonna give it back when he got
home i told you you shouldn't have left your stereo out dude haha here's your stereo no no
you fucking fucking fenced it already that's a different crime you sold stolen merchandise
awesome wow what a story yeah that's that's not working out so well here. So Jesus Christ, when they go to court, the defense just tries to say it's just a joke
among old college friends.
They grew up there from went to high school together.
They're college kids.
He was playing a prank on him.
Let's just dismiss it.
And the judge says, no, I'm not.
No.
Matter of fact, fuck out of here.
They said not at all uh the judge also refused to
reduce the charges from second degree burglary to uh to a misdemeanor right now it's a felony
charge yeah second degree burglary and he they're asking let's just make it a misdemeanor and he's
like nope we're gonna keep it here and i like the charges the way they are actually he snuck in
through a fucking window i don't like that He didn't walk in an open door.
I feel like this judge has had somebody steal shit from him before.
Yeah, it's like my car got broken into.
Stole all of my 8-tracks.
Now, I'm telling you right now.
I'm going to take it out on this fuck.
I'm not.
Yeah, no, I had it all.
You don't understand.
No, I had Buzz Skaggs in there.
You don't understand.
I had the entire Urban Cowboy soundtrack.
You know how hard it is to find Luther Bandross on 8-track?
Yeah, it's 84, so I went with the Urban Cowboy soundtrack, because that was big then.
Okay.
I'm buying it.
I was trying to think.
It's either that or Footloose.
I had the fucking Footloose soundtrack in there.
I think that was a couple years later, wasn't it?
That was 84.
Was that 84?
83, 84.
My Christ, that shit is over 30 years old.
Fuck yeah, it is.
It's 35 years old, as a matter of fact.
My God.
It's that old.
Think about how old Kevin Bacon is.
That's where I was just thinking.
At least he didn't have a stroke and die like Luke Perry, so that's good.
At least he didn't have all of his money stolen.
That happened.
That definitely happened.
That happened.
But at least he has his health.
Luke Perry would love to have all his money stolen right now.
We'll put it that way.
He really would.
He's dead.
Kevin Bacon might have some Hollow Man money left.
He's got something, I think.
He'll pull something out of his ass.
He's got six or eight hundred grand left.
I'm positive that everything else is gone.
It has to be.
He got cleaned out pretty good.
Bernie Madoff ruined him.
That was a killer.
That's fucking insane.
And that guy gets to hang out in Florida.
Jesus Christ.
Well, that's not getting to do anything.
It's not really prison.
No.
Well, no.
He needs a good prison.
He does.
We need to put him in a real prison.
A real prison.
Yeah.
Put him in Pelican Bay.
Yeah.
Let's just be honest here.
A prison where he has to interact with minorities.
Let's have that.
That's what I want.
Somebody with an Iron Eagle chest tattoo.
No, I want some 23-year-old Dominican gang member to share a cell with this kid.
To share a cell with Bernie Madoff.
Absolutely.
That's what I want.
And just make him do his laundry and shit.
That's what I'm looking for.
I said make the cup of noodles in the toilet.
Yeah.
I said do it now.
And then eat it.
Test it.
Make sure the toilet water don't make you sick.
So, Jesus Christ.
So the judge refuses to any lessening of the charge.
If convicted of second degree burglary, he faces a minimum sentence of 14 years in prison.
That's excessive.
That's a hell of a price.
For a stereo.
I'm sorry.
14 years in prison you
got to do something violent or steal hundreds of millions of dollars from beloved movie stars or
something of that nature a stereo is not worth 14 years by any stretch of any imagination that's
just silly uh but they said he could be released in one third to one half that time for good
behavior six and a half so they're talking what is it yeah that's a long time it's like his minimum here is what he's
looking at almost 30 the coach valvano dismissed him from the team for now uh and has said he might
reinstate him depending on the outcome of the case like well if he's not in prison he can play
he's in prison i'm gonna have to say we're gonna give a scholarship away i'm just gonna defer to the next guy we're gonna do that uh so valvano tells sports illustrated quote it is very
sad i thought chris was making good progress in all areas at state he was arrested twice in the
what fucking progress he went from slapping the shoplifting that's a step that's better
international shop international another goddamn country no woman caught the back of his hand, so it's better.
Christ, he says, but now all that I'm concerned about is helping him.
After I take appropriate action, I want him to know that we're here to help him.
I want him to be part of the success story of Chris Washburn, but it's his decision now.
I feel like he's not a bad kid.
I think he's immature and
troubled and has shown some bad judgment we have to see if he can turn it around i think he needs
professional help and if these people tell me he'd be better off with a goal to shoot for
concerning basketball then i'd have to consider that so in other words he can play still i don't
give a shit yeah in other words did you look at this hair and how fucking silver it is i am wow am i silver a gold to shoot at including a basketball including a basket i am like a
christmas tree tinsel do you look at me right now covered in silver so he is uh you know saying
basically if he's not in prison he's gonna be on my team yeah and uh vinnie del negro who was there
he says quote the sky was the limit with his talent and size,
which kind of explains why Valvano wanted him.
Right.
Because he was a good player, and he's only a freshman at this point.
Now, 84-85 NC State team, because there was basketball
in addition to all the scrimmage activity here.
They went deep.
They go 23-10 in the season, but in the tournament, they go deep.
First round, they play No. 14 seed Nevada.
They're the No. 3 seed in the Western bracket or whatever.
They beat them 65-56.
They beat Texas El Paso in the second round, 86-73.
They beat Alabama 61-55.
And then they lose to No. 1 seed St. John's 69 60 uh then that year so they go deep
in the tournament though i think that's uh that's final four yeah uh so they went they went all the
way but they didn't get all the way right they didn't make it but uh solid yeah uh total uh
chris this year plays in seven games seven seven games is all he played in which is nothing because
he was never there he was always fucking
you know he's incarcerated he's incarcerated that's the problem he's always suspended he's
got jail problems 10.7 points and 5.9 rebounds a game which isn't too shabby that's good but
still that's not you got to be it's not got to play more right that's not furthering your career
to the nba numbers yeah um also he's known he's known as a prominent cocaine user at this point in time.
Oh, no.
This is when he picks up coke in college.
Oh, this is great.
We'll talk about exactly when that happens, when he says it happens.
But he says he definitely became a habitual cocaine user while at NC State.
He says that he would even do it before big games.
No.
He'd do coke.
And one of his teammates, who didn't want to be named, said, quote,
the first half he'd play great, and then the coke would wear off,
and the second half he wouldn't do a thing.
So he didn't have the Eddie Johnson episode eight or whatever.
Doing it on the bench.
Doing it on the bench, or Marvin Barnes take a little bump on the bench.
He did it before the game
and then by halftime he's tired,
which is fucking hilarious.
Another report said
that this is a famous legend of him
that he sprayed cologne
into his urine sample
to pass a drug test.
Really?
To cloud the drug test.
I don't know how complex
the drug tests were in 1985.
But Dracar could ruin it?
A little Dracar could probably at least muck it up enough.
Who the fuck knows?
I don't know.
A little cool water.
This dude's piss smells amazing.
Wow.
Sir, what have you been drinking?
You know you're not supposed to drink Paco Rabanne, right?
That's not okay.
Why does your piss smell like cool water?
It's really weird.
Old Spice. Old old spice old spice smells worse
than piss yeah so old spice old spice slightly preferable to piss put it in your piss it'll
smell a little better not much so uh jesus christ 85 86 uh same team pretty much couple guys graduated and uh charles shackleford comes on
the scene who uh will be a crime and sports episode 100 oh he's amazing there was this
episode was either shackleford uh chris washburn or run our test oh and uh i broke it down to
washburn in our test and uh we went with washburn because
his story is just way funnier than our test our test is great he's famous i know everybody would
have got more listens and i don't fucking care because this is a better story this is crazy you
might be too young to know who that guy is he is uh meta world meta world peace yeah yeah meta world
peace but uh when you do a bunch of research it's's mainly around our tests. So it's, you know, you calm down a little after that.
So this team here, they go 21 and 13, but number six seed in the tournament.
But they actually still go pretty far.
They beat Iowa in the first round by two points.
They beat Little Rock in the second round.
And they beat Iowa State in the third round.
And then they lose to number one seed, Kansas.
So there's no shame in that, I guess. You lose to number one seed kansas oh so there's no shame in
that i guess you lose to the best team out there at the moment uh so washburn's been involved in a
number of criminal incidents yeah obviously and uh so the court shit's still going on and uh because
that kicks in in december of 85 he goes back to court for this a year later but uh it's at this
point where i don't know if the school's PR department kicked into gear,
but the fluff pieces start coming out of the woodwork on this guy.
This guy is the most fluff pieces per fuck up of anybody we've ever covered.
I don't know what it is.
Are they assuming he's going to beat the rap?
They're assuming.
I honestly think the school's putting out publicity to try to sway public sentiment
so they don't fucking bang him for a prison sentence.
Maybe they're trying to take the jury pool.
Well, no, that puts pressure on the prosecution, on the district attorney.
Those guys are elected officials.
That puts pressure on them to lower the charges.
Don't piss off all the people who are saying, hey, Chris Washburn's a nice kid and we love him.
And he hasn't done anything in a year and he's playing good basketball.
Come on.
On the other hand, if they do end up banging him hard for something for this and he gets a stiff sentence,
the school looks stupid as fuck for putting out the words.
Yeah, but I think they have so much power at this point.
They're not they're not assuming they're going to lose.
Got it.
Assuming they're going to lose the standoff publicly.
The public's on our side. We're the winning basketball team. This is a ballsy move. You're going to lose. They're not assuming they're going to lose the standoff publicly. The public's on our side.
We're the winning basketball team.
This is a ballsy move.
You're a fucking politician.
They're not going to vote this school out of here.
Yeah.
Well, at one point here, later on in this fluff piece, my God, part of his sentence is going to be 320 hours of community service.
And during this, this big fluff piece article says,
and I quote, this is not me speaking, quote,
320 hours of community service work assigned Washburn by the court
involving visits with retarded children.
Thank you, Sports Illustrated.
Thank you, Sports Illustrated for that.
That's actually a newspaper article that said that.
That is fantastic.
So, after, yeah.
They are lucky they didn't say,
he's going to be working with mongoloids next week.
Yeah, these fucking waterheads.
Bunch of these waterhead kids running around him.
He doesn't even look funny at them.
It's pretty interesting.
He treats them like they're real people, you know what I mean?
Treats them like human beings it's crazy fucking awful
treats them like they're one of his own like they're like real people so after he ends up
fulfilling his community service requirements this article says that he returned on his own
time to spend more time with the kids because he's such a good guy yeah uh they said
that you know they're just talking about he's so uh he's he's so good and they're saying quote
his coaches are talking about him quote washburn is playing like a man who knows what probation
means he realizes he's been given his last chance his play his work ethic his attitude is extraordinary
so they're saying that you know school's got him on probation and that has kicked him right into line he's not doing either that or we're covering up shit really
really well now right real good uh his co one of his coaches said quote washburn is working super
hard he's trying to prove something to get that monkey off his back and sometimes he might even
try too hard yeah so they're saying he works too hard he's's just too much of an effort. That's what it is here.
He just said that he didn't want to talk to the media and all of that.
He just wanted to, you know, I just want to focus on good deeds and basketball.
Basketball Superman.
B-ball and retards.
That's it.
That's how I do it.
That's all I got.
So he ended up pleading guilty
to three lesser larceny
misdemeanor charges. That's the deal
he makes here.
A member of the
NC State Athletic Department said, quote,
they crucified him in the press here.
We have no pro sports here,
so the focus is on college. Washburn
was on the front page for weeks. The
handcuffs, the SAT scores.
A lot of it wasn't necessary to me.
It's not a basketball issue.
No, no one said it was breaking and entering, sir.
Yeah, that's way different.
Compare him to Jesus is crucified.
And we have no pro sports.
So they're focusing it all on him.
And the essay, a lot of that wasn't necessary.
No, it's that's just people are interested. What do you say about Ray Car him and the essay a lot of that wasn't necessary no it's that's
just people are interested what'd he say about ray caruth yeah a lot of that you know what i mean
the blood spatter samples and the forensic evidence and the witnesses against him and these
co-defendants not necessary it's just not not necessary to talk to the guy who says he
quote pulled the trigger we've only
got a few wide receivers yeah jesus christ if you want to listen to ray caruth that's episode one of
us uh on ours and then i don't know a bunch of people have been copying us lately so you can
look around for our shit on other people's shows because whatever nobody covered him until i mean
we had a huge countdown to him getting out. That was pretty everywhere.
Nobody said a goddamn word about him until then.
Exactly.
Whatever.
So Jim Valvano, coach here, he says, quote, it's an issue of a young man in trouble.
I'm interested in Chris getting his life together and realizing his potential as a person.
He's at the crossroads of his life.
It's up to Chris Wash the crossroads of his life it's up to chris washburn to straighten
out his life yeah and if he could score about 20 a game on the way down that straight road i'd be
fucking that's cool too we can work on that so uh december 19th through the 21st 1985 he is
scheduled to serve a 46 hour jail term uh that is on uh the yeah say again 46 hour jail term not even two days not two days 46
hours i guess when they arrested him that's two hours of time served oh i'm sure so uh yeah that's
december 19th through 21st which is the anniversary of the serio the theft incident was the 19th so
on the one year anniversary he does that uh yeah uh Jesus Christ, man, he's he's a fucking mess.
Let's just put it that way.
He's drinking.
He's he's smoking weed a lot.
He's doing all that type of shit when they lose to Kansas in the tournament.
Last this this season is when he says cocaine becomes a real thing for him.
He says that's when he started saying yes to it
when people would offer it to him.
He says, quote,
instead of being like, nah, I don't do that,
I wanted to be part of the crowd.
If they were doing it, why don't I try it?
And after I tried it, I never went back to school again.
And we'll find out how that works out here.
Yeah, it's a fucking mess.
This year, anyway, he played in 34 games that year.
Is it because he had so much energy that he just wanted to focus it on the retards, James?
I think that's what it was.
He goes, I just want cocaine and retarded children.
That was all I need to focus on.
I cannot believe that is in a publication.
I am doing...
Okay, fine.
You got me.
All right, listen.
No, no.
I didn't want to say anything until all of the work and all the research was in, but
I'm going to go ahead and tell you what I've been up to.
I am doing an important, important research.
It's going to be in the New England Journal of Medicine, I'm sure.
Seeing how possibly if cocaine can help retarded children.
I feel like if I give them enough of it, they'll just come around.
Right?
They'll just come around. Right? They'll just come around.
It's like you could be super drunk, but if you do a whole bunch of coke, you'll sober up.
You'll sober up fast.
So I feel like they seem kind of drunk to me.
I'm not a doctor.
Don't get me wrong.
I don't even know.
Cocaine is powder, and powder absorbs water.
You know how that's all over.
That's what they said.
Obviously, I'm not a doctor. i don't even know if it was okay
for my mother to have me when she was 40 so i don't know but i'm gonna give it a shot that's
when we publish our findings you can read about it in the journal okay so i feel a nobel peace
coming on he's a great man it's a great man jimmy it's a great man uh now, Nate McMillan, who played with him, he says, quote,
when I look back at him and I think about all the big guys,
all the great big guys that were coming out,
some of the things that Shaquille O'Neal was doing,
Washburn was doing as a forward center who could run and jump and shoot.
He could do it all.
He certainly had the talent to be an all-star.
That's what everyone says about him.
He could have been Shaq.
Everyone says about him that talent is not the issue.
He has as much talent as anybody who's ever played.
Literally.
He has the size and talent of anybody.
He could have been any great play.
He could have been Patrick Ewing.
Instead, he's on our show.
So his senior year, though, or not his senior year.
He's 20 years old here.
His sophomore year.
He plays in 34 games.
He averages 17.6 points and 6.7 rebounds.
That's a lot of coke.
That's a lot of coke.
And back then in that game, it was a slower game and shit.
That'll get you noticed, especially at your size, even if you're a fuck-up.
Now, April 15, 1986, he decides to forego his final two years of college eligibility.
This is like they lost to Kansas he found
cocaine and then two days later he said
I'm leaving college oh boy it's like you
know where if I get a job in the
NBA I could buy a lot more of this cocaine
probably I don't have to do this shit I don't have to
steal a stereo I don't have to worry about any of this
shit I could smack as many women as I want
oh boy yeah so
he says that he had to back then you
had to uh apply for uh hardship status which meant you needed the money uh so he did that uh valvano
said the coach said he spoke with washburn's mother and uh savannah washburn said that you
know she was okay with all of this uh which you know i don't know why she wouldn't be valvano said
quote i can certainly appreciate what Chris has gone through
these past two years it was great to see
him respond to all the adversity he had to
face and then having a successful
sophomore season I hope he can
continue to improve and that he will have
an outstanding pro career
it's not necessarily adverse
what is the word
adversity
no it's self-caused fucking.
When you bring it upon yourself, it's not adversity.
It is self-caused, self-inflicted fuckery.
It would have been a better term, but the paper might not have printed it.
They'll print retarded children, but they won't print that.
That's not okay.
Won't print fuckery.
Adversity is when your situation is against you.
It was amazing how he broke his leg in his freshman year,
rehabbed the injury, and came back to be a fucking star.
Or playing on the mean streets of Philly,
and then his brother's shot in front of him,
and then he still makes the college ranks.
It's incredible.
His brother was shot in front of him in a drive-by,
and then the funeral home burned down,
killing most of his family at the funeral.
That's adversity. It's a tragedy. And he overcame it to score 17.6 points a game very impressive that would be impressive this dipshit gets arrested they're calling it adversity
so 1986 nba draft he's up for the draft uh this is a big draft that we've talked about a couple
of times what year uh 86 because this is the roy tarpley draft okay we've talked about a couple of times. What year? 86. Yeah. Because this is the Roy Tarpley draft.
Okay.
So we talked about this.
Number one overall, Brad Doherty.
Yeah.
The boring Cleveland Cavaliers player forever.
So milk toast.
Boring as shit.
Number two, Len Bias, who was supposed to be the next answer to Michael Jordan, who
died in two days after he was drafted of a cocaine overdose.
In the hotel still? And we'll talk about this. He was still partying for was drafted of a cocaine overdose. In the hotel still?
And we'll talk about this.
He was still partying for being drafted here.
Number three overall, Chris Washburn.
Really?
Number three overall, Chris fucking Washburn.
So this guy.
And I confuse him with Jamal Mashburn.
This guy on every list is one of the top ten NBA draft busts of all time.
He's an all-time guy.
Not worse than Bias. I mean, he at least
lived until training camp, at least.
So that's a... I win!
I dribbled the ball once. Yay!
Is Len Bias more
of a pop than a bust?
I would say, yeah.
That's an explosion. Yeah, it's more of a
snort than a bust.
Number four, Chuck Person.
Number five, Kenny Walker, who was the Knicks guy with the big flat top hairdo there.
The big fade flat top, high top.
Tall one.
Yeah, Kenny Walker was tall.
He was in dunk contests all the time.
I mean his hair.
And his hair too.
His hair was huge.
He was like 7'1 with his hair.
Also Roy Tarpley also william bedford who we'll talk about who
was a suns player who was uh suspended in that big 1987 phoenix suns drug bust with all they
like five other players got busted for trafficking cocaine and doing cocaine and what the oh we'll
talk about it yeah that's probably why uh but william bedford will come up later on in the
story because uh ch Chris is going to have
some contact with him.
Roy Tarpley, number seven, who we've discussed before.
He has an episode.
Go find it.
Ron Harper on there.
Johnny Dawkins.
Del Curry.
Steph's dad drafted there.
You know, a lot of guys.
Sabonis.
Oh, Arvina Sabonis.
Arvina Sabonis was in 87?
86?
Yeah.
Then they held his rights.
Oh, that's why.
Every year it was like, he might come this year.
And then he didn't come until like 94.
He stayed wherever the hell he was.
Mark Price, number 25. So the Cavs got Price and Doherty.
Actually, the Mavericks drafted Price, but they traded him to Cleveland.
So they got that in the first round of this draft.
Dennis Rodman in the second round there. So, I mean, Kevin Duckworth, Jeff Hornacek at the bottom in the first round of this draft uh Dennis Rodman in the second round
there so I mean Kevin Duckworth Jeff Hornacek at the bottom of the second round this is a pretty
loaded draft for guys that you know you recognize their names Nate McMillan went on in that draft
as well uh now two days less than two days after the draft Len Bias the number two overall pick
dies from a cocaine overdose uh Washburn says he learned of the news while he was at a New York Police Athletic League function.
He said he was high as a kite while he was there.
With the cops.
With the cops.
And he said, quote, I was down there doing something on athletes against crime.
I had a whole box of tissues just wiping my nose because at that point in time, I was just snorting.
At that point, I was just snorting.
Later on, they'll be way worse. Not just snorting at that point i was just snorting later on they'll
be way worse not just snorting yeah he says quote some dude asked me what do you think about len i
was like what are you talking about then he showed me a newspaper with an article that shook me up
for a minute i couldn't grasp it i didn't go to the funeral it didn't make no sense to me
he said he stopped using cocaine uh when len bias died for like three days literally it was
like he stopped and then was like well you know maybe a little maybe a little bit i'm sure he
must have had a problem or he was doing too much that's all it is uh so uh he's drafted chris is
drafted by the golden state warriors by the way okay at this point uh he said when they drafted him he
didn't know the location of quote golden state he didn't know no idea where where's that yeah yeah
i just i don't know and there's no city called golden state so i don't know what that is uh he
said he learned it was oakland california and he said it was he said he also heard it was nicknamed
quote city of dope and he said that he was cool with that. He was pretty excited about that.
I don't think I knew that.
At the time, I don't know what the 80s Oakland ghetto slang was,
so I'm not sure.
Now, they ask him his chances in the NBA and his skills.
Now, this quote has been attributed to both him and Charles Shackelford.
One of the two of these guys said it, and I'm not sure which one,
so I'm going to give it to both of them when we do each episode
because it's so stupid.
It's so nice.
We're going to say it twice.
They were asking him about his ability to handle the ball
and get to the basket, and he said, quote,
yeah, I can go to my right and my left.
That's because I'm amphibious
holy shit so i could swim i i am amphibious so that is awesome that's amazing say it again
pardon he goes yeah amphibious right and left hand you know amphibious stupid he made like a thing like
this fucking guy turns to someone next to him fucking idiot next to me doesn't even know what
amphibious.
Holy shit, that's great.
I am amphibious.
As they say, basketball players and athletes are stupid.
Yeah, come on.
I mean, Jesus, that's impressive.
That is a special kind of dumb.
That's special. To say that, especially because he can do this.
He's heard the term.
He's been doing this for years.
Oh, my God, yeah. It's not amphibious. He fucking knows it. especially because he can do this he's heard the term he's been doing this for years oh my god yeah
it's not amphibious he fucking knows it your gi joe with the kung fu grip was amphibious
he just remembered the box
god damn it that's so dumb how did he do it what tie his shoes find his way to the basketball court
be allowed around retires not burn his house down making fucking pop tarts i guarantee you
one of the kids at the school he was helping with taught him that word i probably yeah
you're amphibious you thanks, little buddy. He went out and talked to the press.
Thanks, Mongo.
Oh, man.
Jesus Christ.
What a fucking mess.
That is incredible.
So the 86-87 Golden State Warriors here.
George Carl is the coach.
They finish 42-40.
They make it to the playoffs that year, actually.
They beat the Jazz in the first round of the playoffs, 3-2.
And then they lose to the Lakers, who would go on to the finals.
Every year.
Yeah.
They lose in five games there.
This team is consisting of, obviously, Chris Washburn.
And the team is kind of Chris Mullins on the team.
He's young.
A young Chris Mullin.
He was St. John, didn't he?
Yeah, St. John's, absolutely. A year before. So he played against him in college on the team. He's young. A young Chris Mullen. He was St. John, didn't he? Yeah, St. John's, absolutely.
A year before, so he played against him in college all the time.
But it's not Sleepy Floyd's on this team.
But not a lot of guys where you'd be like, oh, he's a Hall of Famer.
And the team was known as kind of a disaster.
They were kind of a disaster.
Well, I believe it was, was it their owner?
I think it was their owner.
I'm pretty positive that caused the rule to,
you're not allowed to trade two years first round draft picks in a row.
Really?
Like you can't trade 2020, 2021 draft picks.
Oh, trade them away?
You can't trade two years in a row.
If you trade one first round draft pick, you can't trade,
you can only trade the next, the two years after that. Okay. So if I want to make a trade with you, I can't offer you my trade one first round draft pick you can't trade you can only trade the next the two years after that okay so if i want to make a trade with you i can't offer you my next three
first round draft you gotta give him one first round and a second round it would be 2020 first
round draft pick 2022 first round draft pick 2024 you can't do it in consecutive years because this
guy made such terrible trades really that they had to make a rule to protect people from themselves that's
why they were shitty for so long because he was trading away draft picks that i saw the list and
it was the guys that he traded away the draft picks turned out to be like james worthy and
wow fucking a bunch of a bunch of hall of famers basically that they just traded away all these
draft picks for mediocre players because their owner was a fucking moron yeah it's it's awesome
i have i found a whole article and I saved it.
How about that?
I was actually going to do like a crime and sports kind of bonus stupid episode, like
a Patreon thing for that.
Is this a stupidity show?
I saved it, yeah.
Now, at this point, they signed him with a $3 million deal.
Okay.
So that's bad if you have a burgeoning cocaine habit and they give you $3 million and say,
go live in the city of dope.
Enjoy. have a burgeoning cocaine habit and they give you three million bucks and say go live in the city of dope enjoy so uh yeah he gets a uh 500 500 sl mercedes that's what he gets with a now not stock though no no he it's ridiculous he adds shit onto it what is he totally fucks this thing up he puts
a rolls royce interior into this thing imagine what that cost to take a
one interior that's 40 grand 50 in the 80s it's probably 40 grand to put another brand's interior
into your already luxury car yeah you're not talking about like a ford focus interior in a
in a mustang camry you're talking about a hundred thousand dollar car and a hundred thousand
it's so stupid and a stereo uh they said that it was
pretty like the the largest car stereo you could get at the time uh windows are tinted cars metallic
black with red trim and all the emblems are red and everything like that uh he's by talking he's
getting a new house too we'll talk about that he was living in a hotel in east oakland for a while
and they said that in the article they talk about,
if you're looking to score drugs, that's the good neighborhood to do it in.
Lucky he got out of there because that's a dangerous neighborhood.
Not he's staying there because he likes cocaine a lot.
Because no one really knew about that at the time.
He's popping into an extended stay in that fucking car?
In this car.
Wow.
And they ask him about the car and he says, quote,
the cops stop me a lot.
They say the windows are so dark they think it's a drug dealer. this car wow they ask him about the car and he says quote the cops stop me a lot yeah they say
the windows are so dark they think it's a drug dealer and so they say uh how many times have you
been stopped by the cops and he says a lot it's in the 20s now this is like three months into
living there yeah he's getting stopped all around he should have put no drugs on the license plate
yeah no no drugs like like yeah in new york back in the day they put no radio on the window so people wouldn't break their fucking window like a custom plate in california
it's like eight letters he could have gone crazy one drug yeah uncooked uncooked no coke
smiley face you put emojis on it they do arts and shit oh yeah no they do california is ridiculous
this uh in addition to this,
this is, you know,
he's just new
and he's doing all this
to his car.
He's concentrating on that
and probably the children
as well because he's late
for seven practices and games
in his first month
on the team.
Wow.
First month,
he's late for seven things
that he needs to be at
on time.
Wow.
That's not okay.
No.
That's the first thing
you all have to do is be on time. Wow. not okay that's the first thing you all have to do is be on time wow uh
he says that uh he doesn't he feels not getting pulled over the guy says do you think it's a
racial thing while you're getting pulled over all the time and he says oh no there's a lot of drugs
in oakland and they just want to stop it and see who's driving they're always very nice one stopped
me the other day when he saw who i was he said he said, you play for the Warriors. He wanted to talk, but it was about 10 minutes before I was supposed to be in the locker room.
So he gave me a semi escort to the arena.
So he's just like, this is kind of fun.
He he they said, why?
Why the Rolls Royce interior in a Mercedes Benz?
Yeah, obvious question.
He says this is his explanation.
It's a it's a smart thing jimmy
it's he's thinking yeah he says well it's amphibious actually this interior is amphibious
and if you put this in here it can go left or right it's pretty amazing he says quote i thought
it wouldn't be smart for a rookie to come into the league and buy a rolls rolls royce so i did
the next best thing it's the same thing he built this big
ridiculous mercedes the same thing it's worse it's it's kind of sillier you just why do you
i'm fucking shocked by this this is so stupid that's an asshole or idiot idiot it's all idiot
right here is he dumb uh he missed a team bus uh in boston on november 21st and then missed another
team bus in new y York the very next day.
So the team, the Warriors assigned veteran Greg Ballard, who was a forward, to be Washburn's babysitter.
They assigned a veteran player to just hang out with him.
And Ballard said he accepted for two weeks before bowing out.
Two weeks is all he could take.
It's all he could take.
And when he bowed out the press said what
happened he said quote he's not my responsibility he's 21 he's grown but he's got to get his mind
on playing and rebounding in other words i can't hang out this fucking guy anymore i don't do that
much coke yeah it's not my turn to watch him i do less coke than that just saying so if as if his stellar play and missing practice and acting like an idiot isn't
enough uh he also has a tendinitis in his knee which leads him to take anti-inflammatory medicine
that he overtakes yeah because he thought if he took more it would heal faster which isn't how it
works and uh this led to a vicious kidney infection which fucked him all up and sidelined him
and put him in the hospital in January of 87.
He's an idiot.
His coach, George Carl, said about him,
quote, it was a year of highs and lows.
I would say high on cocaine and low on everything else
except disabled children.
I remember the first, Coach Carl says, I remember the first day of training camp.
He was by far the best player on the court.
And then you could slowly see him disintegrate.
How to fix a drug problem has never been easy for a head coach.
It's a frustrating give and take.
We obviously didn't get it done here.
Chris is one of the guys I think that is throwing a lot of good basketball away because of drugs.
Because it's at this point when he starts failing drug tests now oh no and he starts going into rehab they got
a little better drug tests they're a little better and it's not working you know that goes he ends up
going into rehab uh in january of 87 after he gets out of the hospital okay uh now he's they say they
talk about how uh uh he they talk about his rookie year he had to
carry the teammates bags which is you know rookie hazing whatever uh i guess he he won a post-practice
shooting contest uh for cash and they talk about how a lot of people didn't want to play him because
he was a good shooter i guess when no one was in his face he said quote i was 20 years old in the
bay area being a grown man, but still a kid.
I showed I showed back at them.
And so I showed back at them in so many ways by getting high.
I don't know what that means, but he got high is the bottom line.
He says that he he feels like he fucked up because he thought Dr.
J.
Julius Irving would have been a great mentor for him because early in his rookie season,
Dr. J approached Chris Washburn before a game and asked if they could meet afterwards at
the hotel.
Yeah.
He wanted to talk to him about fucking things up.
This is like Dr. J's got coke.
Yeah.
And he's got lots.
It's going to be good.
So I guess at the time, Washburn was living at the hotel the Sixers were staying in and
Irving showed up and Washburn was fucked
up on coke in the room and I guess he knocked and Washburn never opened the door he left Dr. J
standing out there like an asshole what he said quote do you know I stood there and looked at Dr.
J through a peephole until he left my door I never opened it up would would that have been
my savior right there I will never know he extended a hand i just didn't accept it so he's still clearly he would have still done what he would have done he wasn't
ready to fucking that's insanity though but to to be a rookie and not let dr j in your room is
you just stared at him while he's looking at his watch in your fucking hallway this is a guy you've
had posters on your wall probably since you were 10 unbelievable and yeah you're not going to do that so what a dipshit yeah also he uh he ended up other people wanted to
help him he ends up buying a nice home in oakland hills where reggie jackson and ricky henderson
lived so he lives among kind of the oakland athletic elite here uh washburn said he uh
ricky henderson came over to introduce himself one time yeah ricky henderson
who was a big star in 1987 he was a star for almost 10 years he had stolen base leader yeah
he was stealing 100 bases a year he came over and introduced himself and uh washburn said quote i
shook his hand and slammed the door and went back inside and went back to getting high so he thought
he was one of those little retarded kids coming over for opera.
Yeah, he's like, he's coming.
Well, with Ricky, it's hard to tell.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
All those kids keep using their name in the third person.
I don't understand it.
And Ricky comes over.
Oh, never mind.
Ricky Henderson just wanted to introduce you.
He just wanted to introduce himself.
So this is, he doesn't even have time to talk to Ricky Henderson for five minutes because it's cutting in.
It was getting high time.
This is nuts.
They say that his drug problem would affect his work with the team, obviously.
They said some nights he'd arrive minutes before tip-off.
He would just stop going to practice sometimes.
He just wouldn't show up.
Washburn said the way he looked at it he stood to lose less money
in fines if he skipped practice altogether than if he showed up and the team realized he was high
so if he skipped practice it's a ten thousand dollar fine and he said it would have been like
20 grand if they of a fine if they knew he was high and they suspended him so he's like it was
cheaper to just you know i was fucked up not getting fucked up isn't an option so i'm gonna be high on coke so this is cheaper this story is fucking mind-blowing james insane uh a warriors
guard purvis short said quote it was a progression after a couple weeks or a couple months of that
you started to suspect that some things were going on there was a lot of information out there in
terms of how to help somebody there wasn't a lot of information uh or you said there wasn't a lot of information out there in terms of how to help
somebody there wasn't a lot of information we had as his teammates on some of the things we could
have perhaps done we were out there more or less in uncharted water waters which they don't know
they're fucking some nba player and in the 80s it was this was all new rehab and all that shit that
nobody knew what the fuck they were doing, especially with athletes.
You're just supposed to be indestructible, period.
This is just a fucking disaster.
I'm blown away.
I can't believe this.
Washburn laid out so much in fines
that the team, with the coach's approval,
decided to buy a dressing room stereo
with some of the proceeds.
Because he's just fined so much.
One player called it washburn's greatest
contribution to the warriors in his first year jesus jbc in the corner that's it that's all he
did for us wow now uh here's an article of them talking to chris he's talking they're talking to
him at his place it's down the street from ricky henderson outside of his house they're saying how
in this article he'd normally be joined by a guy named jackie knolls who is a but who is a babysitter assigned by his
agent okay to keep an eye on him uh but at this point this guy knolls was in new york for the
week so josh so uh washburn is instead a guy named lloyd johnson who is a part-time DJ at a roller rink, has been assigned to keep an eye on him.
Now, he ends up, while he's being watched by Johnson, he is late for a shoot-around before the game.
And Johnson says that it's his fault that he's late, not Washburn's fault, because Johnson was out using Washburn's Mercedes for some personal business.
So his bodyguard, or not bodyguard, his babysitter, who's supposed to be taking him places on time,
is dicking around in his car
and making him late for practice.
Unbelievable.
So this is not...
Part-time DJ.
Part-time DJ at a roller rink, Jimmy.
That was not even like...
Last name Johnson?
Johnson, yeah.
Is he related to the guy we know?
It's possible.
So Chris says, quote,
I don't see what being five minutes late has to do with anything.
He's mad that he's shirtless in the front of his house right now.
They're talking about he has no shirt on.
He's standing out in front of his house saying why he doesn't understand why he can't be five minutes late for practice.
Shirtless is never a good look.
Why not be half hourly?
Why not be an hour late?
Why don't everybody just show up whenever they want?
Why have fucking practice? How do you have a practice if you don't everybody just show up whenever they want? Why have fucking practice?
How do you have a practice if you don't have a time when people are going to be there?
That's the point.
Listen, he doesn't even have a shirt.
How is he going to get to practice?
That's the thing.
He's got Coke, though.
I bet he's got that shit.
So, yeah, he says that he had troubles in his rookie year.
He says it's not just opponents.
It's your coaches, your teammates.
They all test you in your rookie year.
Let's find out exactly how he feels about it.
What do you say with an in their own words?
Because these guys' words are pretty fucking golden so far.
So let's find out what he has to say.
I can't wait until he says amphibious.
Oh, it's not in there, unfortunately.
In their own words, quote, people think things about me because I don't speak up.
People say he's ornery or he can't talk.
They don't know.
They talk about SATs.
Hey, when someone tells you all you have to do is sign your name and then it doesn't mean
nothing, why should I try?
I want to play almost as long as Kareem has.
My toughest opponent?
I'd probably say me.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're fucking everything up for yourself, stupid.
That's how it is.
Jesus Christ.
His coach, George Carl, carl says look i don't
think chris is dumb and he's not a bad kid he just doesn't understand work which is he means words
that's words work fucking clocks how they work all the time he's like what the shit he doesn't
understand work oh that's awesome all the stuff he thinks is basketball if he goes between his
legs if he showboats he's going to get pulled out because yeah they're like just your rebound and
put it back uh quote i won't reinforce that and that's just the way it is uh it is rookie year
he plays in 35 games for the warriors averages 11 minutes a game uh 3.8 points per game 2.9
rebounds so not only playing 11 minutes a game so not a lot
of time to play but he's not helping himself uh now uh 87 88 and he also went to rehab in there
87 88 he says that rehab didn't help much uh didn't help he uh continued some more people
that knew how to get better drugs that's well yeah, Christ. He's the Bricky Henderson, for Christ's sake.
He must be on something.
He's fucking out of his mind.
So he says he continued to use, and his weekends would start with a trip to the bank,
where he would withdraw as much as $20,000 in cash to spend on, quote, drugs and prostitutes.
Living quite the lifestyle.
20 grand. That's a lot of coke and prostitutes. The original hookers and blow. That's the lifestyle yeah there's a 20 grand it's a lot of coke and prostitutes that's the guy right there i like it uh he said on by monday morning he'd be back at the tank at
the at the bank taking out more money uh basically just spend all his money on drugs
then and women because he says quote if you look at the hookers i was buying back then
the hotels paying for folks's rent because i didn't like sitting in folks's house and getting
high with no lights on.
I'd pay to have the lights on.
I was hanging out with folks that didn't have running water.
We had to go to the bathroom and piss in buckets.
I had a six thousand square foot house built on the side of a mountain, but I'm lying on
the floor with no carpet dirty because I don't want to leave the drugs in a crackdown.
And that's what I mean. He's got a coke bite. dirty, because I don't want to leave the drugs. In a crack den.
In a crack den. That's what I mean.
Coke by now, I think, has probably moved on to crack.
But Coke doesn't make you sleep on a piss in a bucket and lay on a dirty floor.
You take the Coke and go to your 6,000 square foot house.
Crack makes you piss in a bucket.
Why are you leaving?
I can't fucking see.
I can't see anything.
You got no lights on.
So, yeah, that's his excuses.
I spent a lot of money on people's bills because I wanted to piss with the lights on.
So, yeah, this is fucking crazy.
So in his second year here, we'll talk about they're sick of him in Golden State.
Don Nelson takes over as general manager before the start of the second season and he says that by trading camp he'd seen
enough and uh told george carl that the team would be better off by trading washburn really they're
gonna try to shit can him uh at this point well washburn in in the public he reported he said that
uh getting 750 000 to play in the nba was quote too too much like a job. So then what?
It's just too much like a job.
I got to show up on time and play basketball.
I just want to do a lot of coke and fuck hookers.
Isn't that, I mean, wow.
So December 15th, 1987,
Golden State trades him to Atlanta.
They trade him for Ken Barlow,
who was a Los Angeles Lakers
first round selection in the 86 draft.
He's drafted 23rd overall and never plays in the NBA.
Not one game.
Not one fucking dribble in the NBA.
He played for LA, Atlanta, and now Golden State.
Never played.
Never played a motherfucking game ever.
He did play a bunch of teams in Europe, but that's whatever.
uh he did play a bunch of these teams in europe but i mean that's whatever uh so uh now in golden state that year he only played eight games for golden state before they got rid of him he was
averaging 4.1 points for per game he goes to atlanta and plays in 29 games and averages two
points a game and i don't even know how this is 1.9 rebounds how do you average less than two
rebounds a game when you're fucking 6'11"?
Yeah.
How is that humanly possible?
By accident, the ball would fall on your hand more than twice.
That's terrible.
The fact that the man has gotten this far is much more mind-blowing than that.
That, too.
That stat is shitty, but the fact that he's still in the NBA with these problems is crazy.
Well, not for long.
Don Nelson, when they traded Washburn, his final words on Washburn were, quote,
everything negative, lazy, bad attitude.
With his skill level, you projected that if he did everything right, he could get better.
He didn't do anything right.
So, bye.
He's not lazy.
He's coming out of a cocaze.
That's the problem.
The 87-88 Hawks went to the playoffs.
They ended up winning against the Bucks in the first round
and losing in seven games to the Celtics in the second round there.
They were 50-32.
That was the John Konkak.
Yeesh.
Yeesh is right.
Oh, boy.
The original worst contract in sports.
John Konkak.
Doc Rivers, Tree Rollins, Spud Webb was on this team.
That's a great Hawks team.
Dominique Wilkins.
That's a fun video game.
Yeah, that's a fun video game.
Antoine Carr was on that team who played goddamn forever.
So a lot of good players on that team.
But Atlanta, he said, was tough on him.
Washburn said he would have been better off if they sent him to utah or portland or somewhere that didn't have a thriving crack scene basically
atlanta he figured was quote no place for an addict no he said uh his tenure with the hawks
like we said 29 games during this time though he liked off the court he was having a ball
he says quote i thought i was the best looking guy in the world.
Me and Denzel was on the same level.
Oh, boy.
So when I would go places, I wouldn't have to pay for anything.
And so I kind of lost focus in the NBA.
You can't lose focus on why you're there.
I started wanting to enjoy more of more of the party life and the practice life.
Sadly to say, the career was very short.
Yeah, you can't do that at all.
That's what happens. That's what happened. Yeah you can't do that uh at all that's what happens
that's what happened yeah you can do that in the off season uh you know see charles barkley yeah
partied as hard as anybody and then and during the season but your numbers better be right you
bet that's the thing if you're averaging 25 a game you can fucking party all you want get your
initials on a shoe go nuts go nuts at that point. He does make that year for that season $777,200 for that in the 80s.
For two rebounds a game.
Yeah.
Less than.
Less than.
Now, in April of 88, the Hawks were told about an invitation from the Soviet government for their team to tour the Soviet Union and play some games over the summer.
And he said in the paper, quote,
I ain't going to Russia.
I'm going to North Carolina.
That's where I spend my off time.
I ain't going to no Russia.
Oh, boy.
So don't go back home.
He said, I ain't getting.
Don't go back home.
That's a rule.
Well, he'll break several more rules.
Don't worry about that.
But I ain't going to no Russia.
It's the second to I ain't getting on no time machine.
That's pretty good stuff right there i ain't
going to know russia i'm amphibious fuck that all that water frozen yeah shit that way so uh june of
89 he is suspended finally for drugs for the third time and this is banned for life at this point
that's strike three so strike three june of 89 uh it's over he failed his third
drug test uh there his total career was 72 games uh for the number three overall pick not even a
full season not even a full season uh his contract was terminated and he lost about 1.6 million
dollars in that deal that would have been a lot of. That's a lot of coke and a lot of stupid cars
and plenty of hookers.
Yeah.
Banned for life.
He made $480,000 that year
and, you know, prorated.
Doc Rivers, about him,
said, quote,
I think what happens
with a lot of guys like Washburn,
people forget these big 6'10 men
lookalikes are kids
and people treat them like adults.
They let them go their own way
and get away with anything. How are we ever supposed to be responsible people which is also true yeah
your benefit from them is if i let them do anything they want they'll be happy and do what i want and
then i get benefit from that so it's all this circle jerk it's the words of a coach of a silver
haired middle-aged white man yeah that's Doc Rivers. He will be that.
He is now.
He's been that for years.
1989, a book comes out called Personal Fouls.
And a lot of the shit in this has been disputed later, and people sued over it and everything else.
Really?
But it's an expose on college sports and a lot on Jim Valvano and a lot on the NC State program.
They basically call Jim Valvano just a fucking huckster criminal.
They say that North Carolina State players have received large sums of money,
cars, clothing, and jewelry.
Some of the players are confident that Valvano would get their failing grades altered,
neglected their classroom work altogether,
and drug tests taken by players were routinely falsified uh
obviously valvano denies all of this of course he's dead now but he denied all of it till he
died of cancer he said uh they said that valvano was so obsessed with winning and courting and
courting the news media that he lost the respect of his players and mistakenly thought uh who he
thought he was helping uh they said that uh mr valvano was perceived by his
players as a bully and a buffoon a liar and a manipulator and a coach who was unable to teach
set plays or even get his players to hustle in practice i don't know how true that could be if
the guy went that deep in the tournament right three fucking years in a row you gotta be a pretty
good coach to do that you can't just be bluster also the other point is if they're making money
then why is he stealing shit
out of another dude's dorm room?
What a dickhead.
Yeah, because he's a fucking idiot.
It makes this way worse.
Yeah, yeah.
I feel like he's,
Washburn might not have even known
that he could get money.
He seems like that type
where he'd be like,
I want to play for NC State
and they didn't even know
because he was just kind of,
but then again,
if you go to prep school,
you talk to other guys,
you have to know.
I'm not sure.
October 89 in Atlanta, DeKalb County Police and Drug Enforcement Agent here, Strike Force,
find Chris in a group of drug dealers arrested in a sting operation for selling crack and
cocaine.
He's hanging out in a crack house is what this is.
He was present in the apartment where the raid took place.
He is charged with disorderly
conduct and giving a false name only because he gave a false um no i'm a different 611
dude who just got washed out of the nba for coke who you might recognize i'm amphibious man yeah
is there a pool out back i'll show you so uh police this is my terrarium it's all good
the police sergeant said quote he didn't have any drugs on him he didn't have anything he was flat So, police... This is my terrarium. It's all good.
The police sergeant said, quote, he didn't have any drugs on him.
He didn't have anything.
He was flat broke.
So, he just had nothing.
Empty pockets hanging out in a crack house.
Awful.
December 22nd, 1989, three days before Christmas, he is arrested for trespassing at what police call a, quote, drug-infested public housing project near the Georgia Tech campus.
They said that he had been formally banned from the projects by the police because he was constantly going there for drugs.
He was 86.
So they tossed him, and he was back again,
so they fucking picked him up for trespassing.
They say I can't go there and buy crack anymore.
I'm going to do it anyway.
You know, I don't know where do it anyway you know i don't
know where else to get it i don't know so uh january 1990 at this point uh he is a fucking
mess a reporter kind of does a little thing on him he is broke uh banished uh from the nba he is
begging for food and money from friends he has nothing uh he's hanging out
in high drug traffic areas as we've told you he's gotten busted twice now and still involved doing
that uh he's just been a mess they say all he does is wander around atlanta uh he says he plans to
enter drug rehab this month for another time uh to try it for the third time in three years he said quote
about drug rehab quote yeah i'm going back out there as a matter of fact i'm going out there
tonight this is what he tells a reporter who is saying hey you're pretty fucking homeless like
what's up with that you know this this ruins my theory that that guys over six five are never
homeless no well daryl alums, too. Yeah, that too.
But this is like,
he really has to want it.
Yeah, he's trying to be homeless.
Fuck, if you squander millions,
that's different.
You didn't have to be homeless.
You did that shit on purpose almost.
That's you.
Apparently at this point,
he's sleeping at friends' houses.
He's got a house in suburbs of Atlanta
that's up for sale for $399,000 at that point, which is
an expensive house in 1990.
One of his friends, Eric Rogers, said, quote, Chris has been staying with us.
We never let him stay on the streets.
He never says what he's doing with himself.
Quote, he looks he looked dirty.
He had on he had on clothes, but not what you'd usually see him dressed in.
He's called me since then, since the first time I saw him.
He'll just call and want me to come down and maybe ask you for money.
It's like he's living from day to day.
So this is what we've gotten to.
So fast.
Wow.
How fast is this fall?
That's the quickest.
It's like, I'm big shot.
I'm in the NBA.
I am fucking digging in dumpsters the next day.
Looking for more drugs.
Looking for more shit uh april
1990 he's being held in the decalb county jail without bond after being arrested on drug
possession charges so this is not going well we found some uh something was in the bottom of that
dumpster a spokesman for the georgia bureau bureau of investigation said that agents went to the
apartment of a woman named kimberly green to interview her for a possible crime she was wanted for in North Carolina.
And while they were there, they found washburn, too, and also a bunch of cocaine and weed.
So he is arrested along with her.
He's not charged with harboring a fugitive or anything, just possession of cocaine and marijuana.
Lucky.
Lucky.
with harboring a fugitive or anything,
just possession of cocaine and marijuana.
Lucky.
Lucky.
So, 1991, the Tulsa Fastbreakers sign him.
Seems like a diamond. That's a good team.
Wow.
Yeah, holy shit.
That's a CBA team.
As we know, you can do anything and play in the CBA.
They don't care.
Continental Basketball Association.
We are not besmirching Canada.
This is not the Canadian basketball.
The Fastbreakers? They may as well call them the speed freaks the speed freaks uh yeah he uh he signed with them he said quote i'm looking at this as a second chance uh the cba is just
a stepping stone to where i want to be the nba is where i want to be you could easily be there
you're banned from doing coke stupid and to get back in the nba all he has to do is prove
that he's not doing coke anymore that's it he has to go through their program and like take a bunch
of drug tests and be clean for have certain amount of time that's what a band for life means and then
they let him back in yeah because they had provisions to get back in and then they also
like money that's the yeah they also you know gotta sometimes good players do coke. That happens. So he moves to Houston.
Moving to Houston where in his time in Houston here, he lives on the streets most of the time.
He's homeless.
He eats out of the garbage.
That is not a good place to be homeless.
He says, quote, no, not at all.
It's hot all the time.
God, Jesus.
Quote, I was eating out of trash cans.
I was sleeping in abandoned buildings, abandoned houses. I was doing whatever was needed to survive at that time. Jesus quote. I was eating out of trash cans. I was sleeping in abandoned buildings,
abandoned houses.
I was doing whatever was needed to survive at that time.
I was staying in the same clothes for weeks,
maybe months at a time,
uh,
to a point where the drug dealers I was buying my stuff from would even pay,
uh,
would even pay me to go and change clothes.
Wow.
They'd give him,
you're so fucking funky,
funkier than the other crackheads
you are the funkiest crackhead that comes to this house if your scent stands out amongst a group of
crackheads you fucking stink yeah jesus have you left a pair of boxers on for two days disgusting
holy shit they lost my goddamn luggage and when i went to fucking
boston last time i had no choice but to stay in the same underwear it is the worst it was horrible
live on a weekend for socks just decided oh it's the worst jesus my crispy crispy yuck disgusting
oh good god uh yeah so drug dealers are giving are paying him to change his clothes. That's how fucking far he's fallen from grace.
Grace is up here, and that is way down there.
It's fucking down there.
So somehow he posted bail on this whole thing.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't tell you why he posted bail.
July 6, 1991, in Houston, he's arrested.
He's arrested at a Houston apartment complex
when they said they
found a uh right next to him a crack pipe yeah with a bunch of residue and shit and a little
bit of crack in the you know in the pipe and all that sort of thing they found him because he
smelled like shit and he smelled he's the guy the 611 guy who smells like shit and is smoking crack
all the time now right now you can't miss him if you can't just look for his head and then a light just a
lighter going off all the time just uh his attorney uh he's posted bail he's given a
court appointed attorney he's ordered to be present at 9 a.m on a certain date for his next
court appearance and he doesn't show up no obviously no he's why would he do that he doesn't
even change clothes you think he's keeping track of his appointments oh let me check my book he flips through it oh my i thought i had my rotary
club meeting this morning and instead it was court dumb dumb me shit i had an 8 30 shower that i
skipped you think i'm coming to court jesus i had a pta meeting and then fuck i missed it blew it
the kiwanis will be disappointed with me. I skipped out on the meeting.
So his attorney here, his attorney pleads to the judge to give him another chance to show up.
He says, quote, he'll be here tomorrow at 9 a.m. sharp.
And he actually does show up the next morning, but 25 minutes late.
Because, come on.
He's there at 925.
Come on, man.
Even Michael Jackson kept it to like 10 minutes late. And know what i'm saying i mean fuck me you can't show up then good god uh the judge
in court said quote if i can show up for work at nine so can you yeah which is uh you don't want
the judge telling you that shit she revoked his bail and fucking threw him in jail for it and uh he serves 89 days waiting
for trial 89 days he has a different trial uh judge for the trial uh and he requested that the
judge rule on his guilt or innocence rather than the jury so he's going to do a judge trial here
he was a witness for himself he actually testified he said that he had just attended the john lucas
treatment and recovery center right before the trial but the prosecutor kept saying look at all
of his past this guy this is not like an this didn't happen once yeah uh so they were going
over that a bunch finally washburn in his testimony said quote i'm a lot older i understand
my position also i have a child on the way. Also, I have a child on the way.
Oh, no.
He's got a child on the way.
And I'm trying to settle down and raise a family.
You don't have a home.
No.
You eat out of garbage cans.
What fucking settling down?
I'm trying to settle down around a very, very plentiful garbage can.
I'm looking for a bountiful garbage can.
Possibly behind like a Chinese buffet or something where they have to throw a lot of shit out.
How old the guy is he right now?
Sixty five.
He was born.
So he's less than 30.
He's 27 years old.
Wow.
At this point.
And his life is completely over.
It's completely fucked.
The judge ends up the jury.
I'm sorry.
The court.
The judge takes seven and a half hours to convict him really for some
reason uh the prosecutor asked for at least a five-year sentence for washburn and uh washburn
asked for probation and saying that he wanted to continue playing basketball so he's like can i get
probation and the judge says actually i don't think so you sir may fuck off uh sentenced to three years in prison for this shit uh but
he has so much time served already that he was he would have served half of that basically anyway
and he's already served so much time in prison that he's barely in jail at all once he's sentenced
because he's got like i think eight months time served three is his lucky number yeah it's the
drafted third drafted third three years three
years and he doesn't have to do it rolling those dice uh december 18th 1991 a son is born name
julian oh sweet jesus that was close julian is born uh washburn comes back to houston here
uh where he continues to live on the streets after he gets out of jail.
He says he remembers a man sitting next to him being shot point blank by a drug dealer in a crack house.
He said, quote, I saw people get killed all the time.
Wow.
He says he hit rock bottom in 1993 when he asked his mother for money to buy drugs and she refused.
That's rock bottom. bottom asking your mom for
drug money i suppose i mean i guess if you tell her what it's for yeah i mean not can i borrow
20 bucks being like mom i need a rock right fucking now and your mom being like no chris i
can't give it to you and like crying please stop and she's like no and ripping through her purse
that's a low point i guess that is a good point that's a low but when you when you want drugs
you ask your mom as a last resort and she says no.
Yeah.
You're fucked.
You got nothing.
She refused and instead told Chris that he should write his name or write her name and
address and phone number on a piece of paper and keep it in his wallet.
That way, when they find his body on the streets, they know who to call.
Oh, that is some cold shit.
She said, rather than 20 bucks, put this in your wallet.
That's literally what it was.
So he said that was low point for him.
June of 92, just before that, he plays a little more basketball.
After he gets out of jail, he plays for the Miami Tropics on the same team as Roy Tarpley,
who is the only guy in competition for cocaine addiction.
This strength, extra strength cocaine addiction is right.
Tarpley.
Unbelievable.
These two guys shouldn't be allowed in the same state as each other.
The federal government should keep these two people on separate coasts.
This team is on a no fly list.
Jesus.
And they're in Miami.
Yeah.
Which is in the eight in 92.
Perfect. Where's all the cocaine
fucking miami where are these two why is san francisco dope town or oakland for that matter
why is anywhere in california that when miami's right there it's fucking insane so uh he ends up
playing for them very very briefly about two weeks because he fails to attend twice a day group
therapy that's mandated contractually because he's a drug addict.
And they cut him immediately.
So not too great.
But good news.
May 23, 1993.
Another son is born.
Because he needs another kid, I feel like.
I feel like more children should have his influence.
This one's name?
Yep.
Chris Jr.
You betcha.
He named his fucking kid Jrr at this point in his life
fuck it there's nothing to be proud of he's broken every rule he's gone home he's fucked up he's
marrying people for no reason he's having kids he's silver it's a mess why not name your kid
fuck it you know what it might be like a reverse thing yeah where if you do now if you pile on
break all the rules it might help it's like subtracting negatives by the way with two kids born there's more you know there's so
many more how many how many fucking everybody blowing in absolutely extra 20 to not wear this
condom yeah you know he was doing that you know it yeah extra 100 oh yeah so december 5th 1993 uh guess what he's arrested again yeah uh this is
you know new son and everything arrested and charged with cocaine possession uh the officers
said they found a rock of crack cocaine when they searched him outside of a convenience store
on a weekend night the uh officer witnessed a transaction between washburn and a drug dealer
apparently he watched a hand-to-hand sale and went over and busted washburn who had the crack
but the other man wasn't arrested because no drugs were found on him oh perfect no because
he just sold him you just saw a hand-to-hand he doesn't have it he doesn't have it i assume he
was probably an undercover right and that's how you know know what he's got now? He's got cash. Now he should have that much.
That's how transactions were.
Requisite cash.
Yeah.
Wow.
He is.
This is a violation of his parole at this point.
And he's sentenced to 13 more months in prison here.
So in prison, he plays basketball again.
Of course he does.
He does.
He says it was not good.
This is this was his new low.
He said, quote, a couple of years prior to that, I was on the NBA floor in front of thousands.
Now I'm on the penitentiary floor playing against guys wearing flip-flops and army boots.
That's pretty fucking disgruntled.
He did paint a really pretty picture there.
He's shuffling.
Either one that you wear, you're shuffling.
You can't lift the fucking boots
and he's just backing people down and dunking on him i would assume they're just fuck instead of
cheerleaders on the sidelines we had guys with kool-aid on their lips and stuff painted on their
face looking like girls oh it was always like a movie for me it was so surreal he's like rick
fox and oz basically that's what he is he came into jail that is amazing he's
like this shit is bonkers they have kool-aid it's a dmx song it's fucked up man yeah uh wow uh when
he gets out of jail he ends up playing around uh greece switzerland puerto rico briefly briefly
briefly here and there teams pick him up because they're like, oh, number three overall NBA draft pick.
And they're like, oh, wow, that's why they don't want him anymore.
Well, that's why.
Oh, he just got out of prison.
Do you smell something?
Stay away from our handicapped children, please.
Yeah.
So he also plays a little bit for the Westchester Stallions, which that's a terrible.
The Westchester Stallions of which that's a terrible the westchester stallions of
the usbl okay uh yeah he says he's all now he's ready though he's good now he's good yeah he says
quote i when he's playing for the stallions quote i can look back now and see all the things that i
myself lost i blame myself totally i don't want to blow it this time i've been in institutions i've been in jail i can
only see death after that i'm good now yeah i'm gonna play in 450 a week i'm gonna yeah i'm gonna
dominate this league and then the nba should be calling anytime i need to look at his watch
so uh april of 1996 shocking they never call uh he bounces around europe a little bit and then in april of 1996
uh jesus christ he is in a in a part of hickory north carolina that's known for drug activity so
he's home yeah and broken rule right there with his junior son broken rule and uh he's in an area
known for drug activity and he's shot in the foot somebody shoots him in the fucking foot uh washburn told police he was
shot by someone to whom he owed money so he owes a drug dealer money who shot him in the foot
and said get me my fucking money what three overall number three overall shot in the foot
holy laying in a hospital bed in county mind mind you. Absolutely. Fucking stinking like shit.
Open wound.
Sitting in there in a, that, I don't even know, like those shit hospitals are just like,
they're just sterile.
There isn't even like the whiteboard with like an encouraging phrase on it.
It's just a sterile fucking room that looks like where they kept Vito Corleone when he
came over.
They had to quarantine him in Godfather 2 multiple Godfather references he's just what a fuck how how low can
you be at that point it's tough I mean Jesus Christ he's sitting in the room and I mean his
his kids live in Texas so I mean he's got his mom around maybe she's visiting him I mean the the you
know the shine has gone it's not like you know
coach valvant well he's dead now but not like some of his old assistant coaches are stopping by to
see how he's doing hey how's that foot how lucky that crackhead's not a better shot hey you know
fucking he's just sitting there and then you're amphibious yeah good thing you're amphibious why
didn't you swim away motherfucker i thought you were amphibious so i mean he's just like sad and depressed uh through this whole time and uh he's
sitting in the room one day and all of a sudden through the door it's dexter manly interior
decorator from new york city and he says how is that you have come to arrive here?
Seriously.
Okay.
Let's start from the beginning with you because you're a frustrating one.
Let me tell you right now.
You're a kooky little guy.
Okay.
Just a kooky little one.
Slippery one.
So you have it all.
And by the way, you're strapping, man.
Obviously, just strapping.
You're large and muscular.
You're muscular.
Look at you.
You're just, you know, you can tell you're an athlete, you know?
And you have it all
and people give you lots of money
and you like cocaine.
Who fucking doesn't, right?
I mean, when you're partying,
what's fucking better, right?
It's delicious.
It's wonderful.
I just like the smell of it.
You know how it is.
You know how that goes.
You know how that goes.
Back to what we're talking about here.
So you do all this.
You end up eating out of trash cans.
You don't change your clothes for weeks.
You, sir, are white trash.
I'm sorry.
That's the cocaine, the jail.
That's all fine.
But you cross the line with the clothes.
You need to smell fresh and get it together.
And this room is very dingy.
But I can't be here anymore because you just stink.
And I'm getting out of here.
Poof.
And in a poof of feathers and purple glitter, he's gone.
And Chris Washburn's very confused.
No idea.
He's like, what was in that crack?
That is good crack.
I got to get more of that shit.
Am I bleeding out?
I'm seeing things.
I feel like I'm bleeding out.
I saw purple.
So yeah, he says that after this, he's just going to stay at home.
He says he stayed around the house for two weeks.
And then he'd go through periods where he'd stay at home with his kids and his wife.
Because he's still married at this point.
Unbelievable.
To the same woman who he had his first kid with.
For two weeks, he'd be around.
Husband, father, normal.
And then two weeks, he'd just disappear.
Where's dad
no no in a cloud of dust poof he's gone like it's like bobby colorado in a cloud of dog shit
uh so he was gone uh he says that he realized that if he had to give in to his demons he'd
better not do it around his family is the way he thought about it he said quote i was basically an
absentee parent now in 2000 his father dies
so that's a tough blow he says quote my dad's last visions of me uh were of a 611 dope fiend
sliding along the floor stealing money from his wallet uh wow my mom kept her purse locked up in
a filing cabinet at church so that he was that much like you can't have spare change in the house no he's
gonna steal it if it's not fucking nailed down insane watch out because he's he's the washburns
coming for it yeah now uh june 17th 2000 is what he calls his first day of being clean this is after
14 stints in rehab multiple countless jail stints, prison stints, fucking USBL.
That's they're about the same thing.
All of these different things he's had been shot in the foot.
He's been through a fucking lot.
And he says this was it.
This is he was done.
This was his father dying was his final like, yeah, pushing, kicking the ass.
And I got shot in the left foot.
That's what it took.
But that was four years before this though so he was
fucking up and and being you know spacing out on his family and everything he says quote i just got
tired of reaching in my pockets and having no money i got tired of asking my mama at 70 something
years old for 20 or 30 dollars being a grown man which yeah how would you not feel like shit about
that you know cried when i was was 23 because I needed my mother.
That's what I mean.
And he probably felt good about it until after he was done with the crack.
And then he was like,
well,
shit.
Now what?
Now what?
And I got this from my mom,
so I can't go back to her.
Fuck.
He says,
he,
he says,
even though he's been to all these rehabs that this last time when he finally quits,
he says that he kicked the habit himself.
The motivation was his dad dying. He didn't need rehab. He said, he finally quits, he says that he kicked the habit himself. The motivation was his dad dying.
He didn't need rehab.
He said, quote,
I started thinking that I was the only person that my mom has now.
I had all the book knowledge, but I didn't want to apply it before.
Because he's been to 14 rehabs.
He knows.
Oh, that book knowledge.
Yeah, not actual book knowledge.
I was like, really?
Yeah, the 16th president.
I have no fucking idea.
But rehab, he knows.
A is in the first encyclopedia, sir.
You don't even know that one.
I don't know shit.
So he has like, he's fucking, you know, he knows what to do for rehab.
He's a rehab pro at this point.
He says, I had all the book knowledge, but I didn't want to apply it before.
I'm on a program of self.
I don't go to meetings.
I don't read big books.
I still go to bars and hang out other places with friends, and maybe I see them using drugs.
But I don't have that taste in my mouth anymore.
Does he not get it?
This sounds bad.
You can't be around it, man. He says that as he weaned himself off drugs, he moved to Dallas and began working in collections for mortgage companies, which we'll talk about here.
He ends up in 2009 meeting a woman named Monique Richardson, and they move from Dallas back to Hickory, moving back home again to be close to his mother.
And he also says he wanted to make a positive difference, obviously.
2005, Sports Illustrated names him the number two draft bust of all time.
I do.
They could not find the article on it, so I don't know.
I'm sure it's Lundberg.
I was going to say, it's probably Sam Bowie.
Oh, yeah.
It's probably Sam Bowie because of the Michael Jordan thing.
It wouldn't have been as bad, but Michael, it's like you could have had Jordan, asshole.
So, sorry.
It wouldn't have been as bad, but Michael, it's like you could have had Jordan asshole.
So sorry.
On his resume here, it says in 2009, he worked 2009 to 2011 in Dallas.
He worked for Commercial Recovery Systems, Inc. doing collections.
He said, quote, I provided collection services on accounts three to five years old, if not older, to either bring account current or to set up payment plans to ensure the account would be paid
and closed out within 24 months max or sooner.
What a job.
That's his fucking job.
You're calling people that are three years behind on a bill
expecting them to pay you?
And trying to talk them into paying a bill
that's gone five years now.
I can't even imagine how hard that would be.
No, motherfucker, I had that five years ago.
I'm not paying for that now.
That's not even on my credit anymore.
I haven't had that for years.
What are you talking about?
So 2010, fluff pieces start popping up left and right on this guy.
Why?
All over the place.
All over the place.
He says, and now he's all contrite.
He says he's been clean for 10 years.
Here's a quote from him.
Quote, I know I'm supposed to be a hall
of famer uh but i've come to realize that i'm in the hall of shame i see that i'm considered to be
one of the worst draft choices i'm seeing that i'm uh i'm seeing that i'm part of being called
a bust so now he's starting to realize what he is 45 he's 45 he says he can't argue with any of that
either he can't argue with the labels uh he says you know
he's been a mess he slept on the crack house floors and eaten from trash bins and you know
stole from people to search for his next high and you know he goes over the whole thing
he says he's been drug free for 10 years he worked for the collections company he talks about his two
sons uh julius julian and chris who are playing high school basketball at this point,
and we'll talk about where they ended up also.
He says that he just wants to give his sons
the lessons he learned from his own mistakes now,
and he's totally different.
He speaks to addicts on Saturdays
at the Dallas Life Foundation Center.
They said that the guy who runs at Saw Washburn
at some basketball camp
and invited him to speak at the NBA Players Association Top 100 Camp in Virginia
for high school players as a cautionary tale.
Yeah.
Which he's as cautionary as you get.
Oh, boy.
Look at me.
Can't go wrong.
Can't miss.
I fucking fucked it up.
Oh, I missed.
Oh, you can fuck it up bad.
No matter how great you think you are, you could be number three. You know what bottom of the trash can tastes like? I missed. Oh, you can fuck it up bad. No matter how great you think you are, you could be number three.
You know what the bottom of the trash can tastes like?
I do.
You know what I smell like?
Jesus.
The bottom of a trash can.
Yeah.
Well, the guy organizing it said, quote, it had a tremendous impact on kids because Chris spoke from the heart.
He told it just like it was.
He said his lesson to them was stay humble, learn from him.
He said he had a chance to become an NBA star and he wasted it.
He said, quote, once I did find out I wasn't special, it was hard for me to overcome.
I used to I only use the NBA to get through certain doors.
The NBA opens up some doors that shouldn't be opened up.
No doubt.
Yeah, like that.
Yeah.
Now, Chris Jr., they talked to his kids about him.
Chris Jr., they talk about his relationship with his dad.
And he says, quote, it's in and out, really.
Quote, great guy.
Everything's great about his personality, just consistency sometimes.
He says he's been in and out of his life.
Quote, from the basketball perspective, I hope I can be what he was.
It's the off-the-court stuff.
I don't want to take part in that.
No shit.
I don't want to get arrested a bunch and get fucking booted out of the NBA.
His kids are both 6'8", too.
Really?
They're big fucking kids.
Yeah, they're big kids.
In 2012, he goes and sees William Bedford in prison.
And William Bedford, we'll end up doing an episode on him, so I'll keep his crime brief here.
But he ended up getting busted with 25 pounds of weed in the car.
That's a lot.
That's more than personal use, I would say.
That's quite a bit.
That's a whole lot of weed.
I don't have 25 pounds of weed.
It'll go bad in a while, won't it?
I might if I could afford it, but I don't have that much.
You don't need that much laying around.
No, that's a lot.
I can do with just a bit.
Yeah, that's fine.
Enough.
That's more than just i was
gonna roll some joints later and smoke a bowl half an ounce is a lot that's that's plenty
it's a good amount yeah they'll last you a few days 25 pounds weeks it's good stuff uh 25 pounds
is your that's nate newton territory you're selling that shit moving yeah yeah uh he was
sentenced to 10 years in prison, and he was in prison.
And Washburn said that he wants to get Bedford, when he gets out of jail, involved in a speaking program and get him all into that.
Washburn says, I don't want to be the only troubled player from the 86 draft trying to help others avoid similar pitfalls.
Yeah, because him, Tarpley, all these guys, he says that he Bedford says that he's going to be released later on in this year.
Washburn says, quote, I see what I went through and I see then I see William in the penitentiary.
When I see him, I try to encourage him.
He gets out in November.
He wants me to help him set up some speeches where he can go around and talk to high school and college kids and help them.
Good.
I would say these are guys that should be doing this here.
Washburn says that Tarpley also lived in Dallas at that point, although he hasn't had contact with Tarpley since the 90s.
And he didn't know how to get in touch with them.
But he wanted Tarpley to be involved in this too
and have the three of them go around making speeches.
And we found out where Tarpley was at this time
and no place to make speeches,
if we remember from the episode.
He was a fucking mess.
So somewhere around this time,
he opens a restaurant.
What?
Is that...
How?
How many things in front of that would you have thought I would have said?
He gets arrested.
He fucking punches somebody in the face.
He dies.
He gets shot.
All of those things would have been above restaurant.
Way above.
On your probables here.
Do we have a menu?
Oh, well, we got the name is Washburn's Wings and More in Hickory, North Carolina.
It's nuts. It's like a wing place. Like a wing Hickory, North Carolina. It's nuts.
It's like a wing wing place.
A wing stop.
A wing stop.
It's exactly what it is.
He says he's been sober for 12 years at this point.
He says he's focusing on running a business and helping his community.
The restaurant he's he's running it with co-owner and girlfriend Monique Richardson that he
met in 2009.
Prices, they say, are reasonable, mostly under $5 for the wings, fried chicken, and other items.
And customers who are unable to pay can work for their meals.
What?
Because he's trying to help the community.
He's offering work for food?
He's offering work for food.
If you can't pay, you can, like, wash some dishes or some shit.
Holy shit.
He says, quote, if somebody doesn't have a job, I can't turn them away uh there's work to do around here sweeping the parking lot dumping trash a man doesn't always
want a handout he wants to work for what he can get okay okay sure sweep the parking sweep the
parking lot here's your chicken here's your wings you want those barbecue for like a four dollar
meal what how much parking
lot sweeping do you need to do for that much money and how many people's you have that two
spaces right there and then here's your chicken that's a lot that's a lot so uh he says while
they're interviewing him he says that the building where his restaurant is now is where he used to do
drugs i used to hang out behind the place and do drugs all the time and all that sort of shit.
He said that.
Yeah, he said he points to a spot and said, quote, this was a good spot for it right here.
I would sit right here and do my drugs.
And now there's a nice family here eating pizza.
Yeah.
And now look at that.
They're eating some wings.
Isn't that nice?
He said that the the building, the building that the restaurant's in offered a hiding place for him to smoke crack.
It was a very good one.
Yeah, it was a wonderful thing.
Reminiscing.
Reminiscing about it.
He goes, man, I'd sit right here.
This is now my job, but I used to right there.
I blew a man right there.
Just smoke crack and just jerk strangers off.
And, you know, it was a magical time.
Anybody, you know what I mean it's people have teenage years they have these uh flashbacks this is my nostalgia i can relate
because the the osco drug that i used to shop lift candy for yeah yeah it's now like a strip mall
that has like six stores in it oh god i went in and ordered a pizza from uh from like a blaze pizza
whatever those places like it's like a subway where you tell them, I want this shit on it.
And they make it right in front of you.
And the girl behind the counter, I go, where we're standing right now, I used to steal
Baby Ruth.
And she looked at me fucking horrified.
Like, what?
What are we talking about?
From an Osco drugstore?
Is that what it is?
It was a chain in Phoenix that I don't think is around anymore.
It was right next to a bash's in every yeah and
they were always together mall not strip club what am i doing there was one down in one place
that is now replaced the the supermarket and this and the osco are replaced with a uh with a like a
one of those schools that's like oh like a charter school charter school and it is quote success
senior high school nope every time i pass it pass it, I'm like, nope.
Not at all.
You just buy prescriptions there.
Not at all.
Success.
No.
If you go to school in an abandoned grocery store, that's not success.
Even the grocery store wasn't successful here.
Failure.
Just senior high school.
A place where people literally bought food for their family.
Couldn't succeed here.
Fucking insane, man. Jesus Christ. So, I don't know. people literally bought food for their family couldn't succeed fucking insane man jesus amazing
so uh i don't know he's running it with the running the business with this uh girlfriend
the girlfriend has a son and daughter uh and she said she long dreamed of owning her own restaurant
he says that quote she had the idea i had the money yeah the fuck does he have money he said
he gets a check uh from an nba insurance policy to cover old injuries every month.
Okay.
So the collective bargaining and all that shit's helped him a lot.
Thank God for the system.
Yeah.
So he gets a few bucks here.
He says that, you know, but it's hard for him.
People don't trust him anymore, even though he's been clean 10 years and all that sort of shit.
Go figure.
He says he was sad because he always noticed that he wasn't mentioned as one of Hickory's
famous athletes on the Wikipedia entry.
He said Dale Jarrett from the NASCAR is on there.
And NFL kicker Ryan Sukop is on there.
He's not on there.
And now he's on there, though.
Is he?
He's proud now.
Yeah, he's on there.
He did enough whining they got him in?
That's right.
He said, quote, people are enjoying his restaurant, and they're coming by to support him.
All right.
A bunch of people said that.
People are saying, we always wanted the best for Chris, and we just want good things to happen for him.
Yeah.
He says, they moved to his son's, and he says he still has work to do with his son's.
They're both good basketball players.
Julian was playing for UTEP at this point, college,
and Chris was a senior in Dallas, and he was committed to UTEP.
So both his kids were going to go there, which is University of Texas, El Paso,
in case you're wondering.
He says that we don't have much of a relationship to speak of.
That came from years of me not being there.
But I told them that I could care less about the basketball part with them.
My thing with them has been going to school and staying in school.
And the kids apparently would not return calls to the article.
And it says in this article that at this point, when he's running this restaurant, he weighs 440 pounds.
My Christ.
Now, he is 6'11".
Yeah.
But 440 pounds is fucking huge
even for 6 11 that's enormous yeah that's so big yeah and he was always a big stocky guy but
whoa i think ralphie may was like 440 for a while he's like 5 9 i think he's 5 10 yeah this guy's
even still at a foot that's not enough no i mean long
arms long legs not enough still that's way 340 i'd go fine he's a little chubby he's a big dude
but 440 holy shit he stopped doing drugs and he's got a he's owning a restaurant right he's got
nothing but chicken wings around him yeah jamming fried chicken down his face wings and more and more and more who knows what the more is it could
be anything uh so may of 2013 uh university of texas el paso freshman player chris washburn
jr assaults a bouncer what at a bar uh this is after there's a bunch of fluff pieces about
literally one was called not like the father that was the name of an article exactly like
except sort of a little bit like him this is the start there was a complaint uh no one was called Not Like the Father. That was the name of an article. Except exactly like that. Except sort of a little bit like him.
This is the start.
There was a complaint.
No one was arrested, but the bouncer in Eric Nunez said that he suffered a broken tooth after he was struck in the head with a bottle by Washburn.
Whoa.
That's his claim.
Police were called.
They made an incident report.
And then over the next few days, some stuff comes out.
And over the next few days, some stuff comes out.
There's a security guard said that there was bottles flying around and that they're not sure who hit who with what.
The security guard insists that Washburn was the one that hit him with the bottle, but people said they're not sure.
And no one ends up getting arrested in the end.
But that's some fuckery, basically. And he's involved.
Yeah. And he's Chris Washburn Jrburn junior right is involved shocking isn't it julian fine yeah not one brush with the law junior freshman he's fucking up already now uh he says before he
opened the restaurant from october on his resume yeah from october 12 2012 to January 2013, for four months, he worked for the Brown
Penn Recreation Center in Hickory and then opened up his restaurant in January of 2013.
And by the end of 2013, Washburn's Wings and More closes.
So, shocking.
Weird that working for your food doesn't pay the mortgage of the place, the rent on the
place. When you weigh 440
and you used to smoke crack out back it's not it's a problem so they close which kind of sucks
yeah i mean he's he's like 13 years clean at this point and he tried to build a legitimate business
he's letting people sweep his parking lot so i mean he feels bad for people who don't have shit
he's trying and you know at this point his kids
don't have it i feel bad for all these people jimmy i really do but not nearly not even close
to as bad as i feel for chris washburn phd experienced medical director grant and content
project developer uh in the greater new york city area Or a dope fiend. Yeah. Current scientific director at Medscape.
Wow.
That sounds important.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
He's been medical director at several places.
Chris Washburn, associate program director at Baltimore Chesapeake Bay Outward Bound School,
which is an education, obviously.
Chris Washburn, a real estate agent.
That's tough.
He's got his fucking name on signs and you
immediately google a real estate agent to get right you know if he's okay name in chris washburn
oh my god what the hell got shot in the foot how many cocaine arrests what the no he slapped
chicken wings retarded kids no no i'm taking somebody else amphibious well that could come
in handy.
This guy works for Howard Hanna in Ithaca, New York.
So if you live in Ithaca, New York, and you're looking for a house, please use Chris Washburn.
I'm sure he's lost customers because of his name, and it's not fair.
I fucking guarantee it.
Guarantee it. Chris Washburn, certified home inspector.
Home inspections done just right by Chris Washburn, LLC.
And it's a guy in his picture he's
like got his dog next to him with the pickup truck uh this guy here is not chris washburn
that we're talking about uh so he would not like steal your fixtures and the copper pipes out of
your walls for crack money uh he has a uh 4.73 out of 5 stars in 13 ratings here on the site so good for him and this is in remson
new york and uh chris washburn from the american boat and yacht council he was highly embarrassed
that's my favorite one the american boat and yacht council i'm like i'm closing with that
that's a strong closer right there enough said is he the guy from summer rental
that asshole are these your wife's sits right here so he's good now anyway i mean
restaurants failing but he's everything's been fine until may 25th 2014 no when he is accused
of stealing gas from a hickory gas station oh jesus uh the way they
the police report said is the suspect was the driver of a white buick minivan which that's
what he's driving that pulled up to a gas pump at the q express on a fourth street southwest in
hickory uh they they then go on to say that he was arrested later on from the incident.
Washburn apparently was in a vehicle that pulled up to a gas pump at the Q Express.
The passenger went in and tried to pay for gas, but the card was denied.
I guess it wasn't one where you have to pay before it goes.
The card was denied.
And then the driver, the manager of the place said the driver told them that he would return and pay for the gas like oh sorry we'll come back and never came back so that the driver was chris washburn what is
worse stealing money from your mom for crack that's kind of worse this this is worse right
yeah i told a dude you'd give him gas money back back well he says that he didn't steal shit he
says i didn't steal gas he said i didn't even know my friend hadn't paid for the gas
until the police showed up at my door.
He said, I thought everything was fine.
He said, it was a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
No, being in a crack house when it's right,
it's the wrong place at the wrong time.
You went to the gas station.
That's worse than saying I'm amphibious.
I'm amphibious.
That's putting a phrase that doesn't even fit.
I don't understand why five minutes late is a problem.
You know, this is a case of a stitch in time saves nine.
That's all.
You know what I'm saying?
This is just a...
What is he doing?
Penny saves a penny earned.
So, you know, I don't know anything about your gas situation.
We're told that you didn't even pay.
You know, when in Rome.
So I just drove away.
Fuck it.
This is ridiculous.
He says, I honestly didn't even know what the officer was talking about until I got the papers and saw my friend's name on there.
He says, I didn't know I was doing anything wrong.
Yeah.
In his account of happened.
He said he never touched or saw the gas card.
He said his friend got a gas card from a man. Wash he said he never touched or saw the gas card he said his friend
got a gas card from a man uh washburn said he never saw right away i got this gas card that's
not mine right away okay good for you i don't want to be involved uh this man told washburn
that this other man who the card was from told the washburn's friend that he could use the card to fill up his car as long as washburn
paid the man half of the total price used in cash this is a okay that's terrifying growing up in new
york this was a scam kids used to run all the fucking time where you'd go and it'd be like one
of my friends would be standing there and there'd be 10 fucking cars in line because they had a scam
going where they'd steal credit cards and they'd go to gas stations and they'd be like, fill your car up half
the fucking price.
Put it on your car.
I need cash, blah, blah, blah.
I got it.
And they would fucking load up, use someone's credit card until it was fucking declined.
And sell you the cash.
And they would just keep getting cash and cash and cash and cash.
They'd walk away with hundreds of dollars because people would be like, fuck half the
money.
That's brilliant. Shit. Full tank of gas for half the price. I don't give don't give it they didn't give a shit i don't care whose car that is they knew it wasn't legit i mean your
grandma fucking exactly so that was a scam people used to do all the time back home when i was a
teenager uh so he says that uh yeah that was the scam and he said that uh that he had to pay half
in cash at the time uh he said uh he had a 40 a 40 and a credit card in his pocket so he said that he had to pay half in cash. At the time, he said he had a $40 and a credit card in his pocket.
So he said, quote, this is about his friend,
Mike said he had a friend in the house who has a gas card.
He was out of cash money and asked if I could give him half of whatever my car used.
So Washburn said it sounded like a good deal yeah so fuck
it uh he said he drove to the gas station bought a gatorade and some pork skins uh before going
back outside to wait at the gas pump and this friend paid uh i guess it cost 56 and change to
fill it up uh washburn said when i finished pumping uh pumping i pulled up in front of the
store he said my friend wasn't running.
He just walked out.
I said, is everything good?
And he said, yeah.
That's when I gave him $25.
When he came out, everything was good from his mouth.
That's what he said.
So he didn't know anything about it.
He said, after he left the gas station, he drove back to his friend's house, dropped
his friend off, and he told him, quote,'ll give you the a few dollars next time i see
him because he owes him three dollars right for the extra six dollars right so he said i'll look
i'll give you three dollars next time and then uh he said he didn't know he didn't know the card was
denied he doesn't know anything he said quote i'm only being penalized because the card didn't go
through i didn't do no stealing so that's stealing he didn't do no stealing you know that that is
absolutely stealing that's exactly what that is that's a definition that's like that's steel it's like he you took something
you didn't pay for he just borrowed something and someone belonged to somebody else also you
paid half of the gas to somebody he removed the gas from the pump that's all he was doing
was removing it it was a prank i was gonna give it back. I was going to go put it back into the ground.
That's amazing.
It's fine.
2015, October 22nd, his son Julian signs a contract with the San Antonio Spurs.
Really?
Absolutely.
That's October 22nd.
October 24th, he is waived by the San Antonio Spurs.
He was a Spur for two days.
Well, and then September 17th,th 2018 signs a 10-day contract
with the san antonio spurs uh september 20th 2018 waived by the san antonio spurs
but he doesn't give up no january 15th 2019 he signs a two-way contract with the memphis grizzlies
that doesn't mean he's got to fuck dudes too too. Okay. That means that it sees him split his time between Memphis and the Memphis hustle of the NBA G League.
Okay.
So it's basically AAA.
Yeah.
Basically, you're going to go.
The G League?
Do you know what I learned about that?
What?
That's owned by Gatorade.
Is it really?
That's what that is.
That's why it's the G League.
Whoa.
Yeah.
It was the D League because it was the developmental league, which made sense.
Now it's the G League because Gatorade owns it.
Well, they need somebody to pay for games that no one watches, I guess.
They may as well get it from the people that own fucking Fierce.
Yeah, why not?
So he plays a little bit with Memphis Grizzlies and with the Memphis Hustle.
So he plays in 2018-19 this season.
He has played in seven games for the Memphis Grizzlies.
He's actually played regular season NBA basketball.
He's played a tenth of his dad's career.
That's right there.
He's catching up.
15.7 minutes per game, only 1.4 points per game, 2.9 rebounds, and 0.4 assists.
He's a bench guy.
Better than his dad.
He's got a chance.
That's all there is to it.
He's got a chance, and from what I understand, he's not currently smoking crack.
My man.
So good for him.
Can't get enough of Chris Washburn.
I kind of can't.
He's kind of awesome.
But you can go on Amazon.com.
They have game worn, tiny, tiny 1980s Nuthugger shorts.
Really?
From the Golden State Warriors.
Oh, I want those.
His balls have been so snuggled in these fucking things.
$475.
I do not want those things.
Plus $1,360 shipping.
There's probably coke residue on those.
I'm sure there is.
I'll bet if somebody gets those and tests them with a CSI thing.
I bet there's coke on them.
I bet there is.
I'm sure he did it before the game.
Had a little on his hand.
Absolutely.
Wiped his nose.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
I would love to test those things for cocaine.
If you're very wealthy, obviously, if this affects you at all, if you're very wealthy
and you don't care, buy those.
And get a CSI.
Either for us or for you.
We just want them tested.
We don't give a shit.
We need to know.
If you got a lot of money and you know a dude in a forensics lab.
That's it.
Do it.
And let me know.
Yeah.
Do that, please.
Also, hire him.
Not only can you find him you can hire him for
cheaper than 400 sure north carolina certified peer support specialist speaker life coach and
big man trainer he works with uh like you know under the board guys big guys uh this is in the
hickory area uh he says quote My goal is to share my story with everyone
that I can. I want people to understand that I made it out of a life of drugs and I am moving
forward. Everyone is not that blessed. Drugs will destroy your life, your dreams, your family and
everything that you work for. Some say I'm a motivational speaker. I say I'm more of a life
coach. Don't steal gas there. I'm a better life coach than you. At this time, I'm more of a life coach. Don't steal gas. There. I'm a better life coach than you.
At this time, I'm available and looking for speaking engagements as well as full-time coaching opportunities anywhere in the U.S.
And you can get quotes on that by emailing him at cwashburn84 at yahoo.com.
You bet.
So, hey, he put it on there.
Of course it's a Yahoo.
Of course it's a Yahoo.
He's a couple years behind.
He also doesn't know that a life coach is a step below motivational speaker.
No, no, he's a life coach.
He just wants the word coach in there somewhere.
I'm a coach, you know what I mean?
So that's Chris Washburn.
Wow.
See, that was a classic.
That was like a, you know, we've had a good 20 crime and sports stories that really follow the whole model.
Crime right from the beginning.
Fuck up. Drugs. Mess, you know, the whole thing.
And this really encapsulated it.
It really is beautiful.
It was really beautiful.
It's really sad that those are the three athletes from Hickory.
John Reap should be on there.
He did more for their sports than any of those guys did when he got kicked out of that NFL game.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a good point.
That's great.
It was a good comedian moment.
That's good shit.
Well, if you like that show,
if you think it's good shit,
you can tell us very easily.
Well, don't tell us,
but tell iTunes, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, whoever.
Wherever you can write a review,
write it on all of them.
We don't care.
Write a review.
Please give us five stars.
It doesn't matter what you say about us
because it's not for our ego.
We're just trying to move up those charts and those reviews are apparently very
helpful they work head over to shut up and give me murder.com for all of your crime and sports
and small town murder merchandise needs all of your informational needs and of course tickets
to upcoming live shows small town murder will be in nashville april the 14th at zany's and we played there last
year right around the same time yeah and man was that awesome boy oh boy that club was great that
was the show where a man od'd on heroin was carried out in the middle of our show the doors
opened from for daylight to flood in then we were asked to announce to the crowd if please if there's a
doctor in the house then we took a five minute break where we stayed on stage and sort of made
jokes but tried to not talk about the guy who was od'ing while they tried to save his life then we
heard an ambulance and then the man left and then we went on to one of the best shows of our fucking
life that's how great of a crowd it is there a man can nearly die in the middle of the best shows of our fucking life. That's how great of a crowd it is there. A man can nearly die in the middle of the show, and they'll go right back to laughing.
Fucking awesome.
So come to Zaney's.
We're going to have a blast there.
Can't wait.
We can't wait to see you there.
Yeah.
I'll tell you that much right now.
Also, you want to get a hold of the show, you can do that very easily at Crime and Sports
on Twitter and Facebook and on Instagram.
We are at Small Town Murder.
And also now you can be a hero of ours one of our
producers who we're going to talk about in just one moment you can do that so so easily you can
do it at at right on our site shut up and give me murder.com or you can go right to the sites
themselves you can go to patreon.com slash crime in sports just like the podcast. Or you can go to PayPal, use our email address,
which is crimeinsports at gmail.com,
which is another way to get a hold of us for anything you want to do.
So I think it's time, Jimmy.
I think it's time for you to shoot me in the foot
with a list of names of the people we love more than anything this week.
This week's executive producers are Ben Spencer, Cody Beretta,
Jason Yoakum, Jennifer Lamb, Candace
Kennedy, Howard Wilson, Dane Ford, Paul Powell, Laura Milczarek, and Rob Murray.
Thank you guys so much for everything you guys do for us.
Thank you, guys.
We really appreciate you.
Thomas Smith, Matt Dietrich, Sam Wade, Christopher Hart, Hannah Simmons, Erica Teofello, Sarah Davis, Michael Dretz, Michael Deegan, Trey Valkazar, Valkenar.
Yeah, Trey.
Oh, that's the Valkenar III.
They call him Trey.
Kind of like that politician guy.
What's his name?
Which one?
Trey.
The guy that got voted out.
You know who I'm talking about.
I know who you're talking about.
He's the third.
That's why they call him Trey.
I get it.
I'm on board.
Melanie Knights, Bryn Fields, Lance Robillard.
Robillard.
Yeah, Robillard.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Yep.
You said it a bunch of it.
You had to get it on one of those.
Justin Miller, Durso, Helen, and young man Huxley.
Jesse Hartman, Janice Hill, Whitney Leonard, Haley McGivern, Shalima Althaus, James Miller,
Kim Jisoo, which sounds Lisa Coltrane, Hilary Marsh, Anthony Cannella, Jeff Carboneau, Kelly Jo May, Barry is easy. That's my mom's name.
Easy.
Not the May part.
You get it.
I get you.
Barry with no last name.
Gary Howard, Patrick Haggerty, Tiffany Townsend, Kelly Higby, and Michael Head.
Thank you.
Nicholas Palmero, Chelsea Morgan, Spare Change Inside Ben Cousins.
That's fun.
We'll take it.
Sean Shipp.
We'll wash it right off and put it with the rest. Neil Campbell. Tyler Gwill.
Michael Giovannetti.
Yes.
That's probably right.
Yeah, Giovannetti.
Ashley Boxler.
You'd do it better.
Hey.
Eric Langan.
Hey, Mikey G.
What are you doing?
This fucking guy's giving us money?
Oh.
What's wrong with you?
You got better things to do with your fucking money.
Give it to us, this fucking guy.
Eric Langennecker. Kimberly J.yton meadows lauren demirath uh phil phil mccrevis phil mccrevis oh you son of a bitch thank you bart simpson
steve schnell uh clay clay thorson he donated twice twice. Thank you, Clay. Thanks, Heavy Metal Scientist, man. Kevi Gapner.
Yeah, yeah, that was Steve.
Steve.
Kevi Gapmeyer.
Gapmeyer.
I think.
Mary Faust.
Sean Loring Smith.
Dana Papalia.
Sarah Hart.
Rachel Meisenheimer.
Charlene Ramler.
James Stokely.
Kelly Thirsk. Thirsk. Damn it. Kelly Thirsk Thirsk
damn it
Kelly Thirsk
Jesse
Jesse Lortz
Jeff McAvoy
Thomas
Gwilmanet
don't do this again
Thomas Gwilmet
there we go
Thomas Bennett
no Michael Bennett
Jesus Christ
Michael Kennedy
Brendan Ables
Julie Stoltz, Sarah Huskins, Elizabeth
Negro, James, no, Jamie loves Jimmy.
That's what it is.
Rachel Stora, Susan Gable.
I'm such an idiot.
Allison Hutley, Reagan Shulkley, Jamie, no, Jackie Edmondson, Edmiston, Oldest Charm, Iron Tree Craftworks.
He's a police officer, by the way.
Oh, cool.
And he's fantastic.
Awesome.
He enjoyed your story about wanting to spin around with a nightstick.
It's a fantasy.
It has to be.
It fucking has to be.
They all want to do it.
How do you not?
At a domestic. They all would love to. it's a fantasy it has to be it fucking has to be they all want to do it how do you not at a uh at
a domestic yeah they all they all would love to to clear it up in case you didn't hear at a domestic
where no one is the aggressor right both people are just white trash assholes throwing food at
each other and yelling and arguing and wanting the police to intervene and solve it steven
growney uh kyle go dirt uh jesse herrera matt okay this one i wrote out long because i wanted
to do it right madelena maria neva but god damn it madelena maria neva uh benevento god damn it
night it wasn't bad that was close you had it almost almost nancy graham and jeff back you
guys are the goddamn best thank you we appreciate it appreciate it so much, guys. Thank you. We can't thank you enough.
We really can't.
You mean the world.
You guys do everything for us.
It's amazing.
And thank you, guys.
This show right here,
this is our bread and butter.
We love crime and sports.
Small Town Murder
has more listeners.
We're not going to lie to you.
It's obviously
a more mainstream thing.
Small Town Murder
sounds pretty fucking cool.
Yeah.
If I saw that on anything,
I'd be like,
what's that?
That sounds cool. Check that out. Yeah, what is Small Town Murder? That sounds creepy and cool yeah if i saw that on anything i'd be like what's that that sounds cool yeah what is small town murder that sounds creepy and cool yeah crime and sports
like that i don't like sports people say and they'll shrug it off and uh but this is our baby
and we love this fucking show and so thank you guys for making this show uh just mean so much
to us and also it's we're starting to really climb now we're making a late push which is awesome
and we really like it and we owe it all to you guys so thank you guys for that so much and what So we're starting to really climb now. We're making a late push, which is awesome.
And we really like it.
And we owe it all to you guys.
So thank you guys for that so much.
And what if people wanted to thank you, Jimmy?
How might they go about that?
You can find me at WismanSucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks, on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat.
And thank you guys for everything, especially Adrienne Lacey and her husband, Josh, who
invited me to an event here in town because spring training is here for amyloidosis.is i'd never heard of it amy amy amyloidosis forget me yeah i'm not gonna be
able to pronounce it of course i couldn't make it fucking horrible disease and her husband suffers
from it and the event was amazing i wish i could have gone was was dishing out jack and coke and
and uh bill uh billy hamilton is that his Yeah, from the Reds. Yeah, yeah.
It was amazing.
I apologize I couldn't make it to that.
My daughter had a choir concert, and I was on tour during the last one,
so I haven't seen one in like six months, and I couldn't miss it.
It was just amazing to see.
She's in high school.
She doesn't have many left.
Yeah, stick with those.
Yeah, I had to do it.
Yeah, yeah.
But it was fantastic to be able to, like I've said that,
I want to make millions and then
be able to rub elbows with these people with millions.
And I've made no millions, but I've rubbed elbows with people with millions.
But you're rubbing elbows, which is fine.
That's half the battle, babe.
That's awesome.
Well, shit.
What about you?
Well, you can find me at Jimmy P is funny, or you can just copy and paste my last name
from the show description to make it easier on yourself and your brain to try to spell
long Italian last names.
For a final note,
we would advise everyone to change your clothes
more than once every couple of months.
Don't stand out on the crack line,
is what we're trying to say.
With that said,
live from the Crime and Sports Studios,
we will see you next week.
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