Crime in Sports - #153 - The Creepy Sleeper - The Beltlessness of Cecil "The Diesel" Collins
Episode Date: March 12, 2019This week, we try to break through the line, with a man who always understood one thing, that his athletic ability would always keep him out of trouble, and from having to learn how to be a n...ormal member of society. His football career was brief, but extremely promising. He may have been a hall of fame player one day, if only for the small detail that he could not stop climbing into people's homes, while they slept. And that's not all he did while he was in those homes. This dude is truly creepy, and inadvertently hilarious! Nearly get expelled from high school, get arrested for extremely weird crimes, then get another chance... and do it again with Cecil "The Diesel" Collins!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Stories on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports.
Yay!
Yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay indeed.
My name is James Petrigallo.
I'm here with my co-host.
I'm Jimmy Wissman.
Thank you folks so much for joining us again on another absolutely death-defying edition
of Crime and Sports.
We have a crazy episode as usual.
A very interesting one this week.
It's a football player.
Oh!
And by the way, the next, I know I've said this before, but I've
actually, this is, I'm knee deep in the whole thing
right now. The next NFL player
we do will be Todd Marinovich. We've had a lot
of people ask about it, so that'll be a lot of fun.
That's an absolutely batshit episode.
And I'm glad that I waited on
it because he ended up getting arrested
from the time of when we were first
going to do the episode to now. So
we have extra to talk about.
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So with that said, yeah, wild episode today.
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But for now, we have an insane episode insane episode great let's give you a reason to want to help us and give us things and then uh you know then you can do it but uh let's listen to the
show here because this is a crazy one here uh we're going to football we're going to the nfl
back to the brain damage sports everybody which are always the most fun. We've had a wild run lately of just the guys, the ones in brain damage sports specifically.
Yeah.
And even last week, Chris Washburn.
I mean, that's the least brain damage, brain damage man I've ever dealt with in my crime
and sports life.
Somebody messaged me that they live two doors.
I know.
I showed us, took a picture.
Yeah.
You're like, oh, my bro.
Still rocking a Mercedes.
I guess so.
It's probably a 97, though.
That's the thing.
It's from when he,
or an 87 from when he got drafted.
Rolls-Royce interior.
Yeah, yeah.
It's brand new
from when he got drafted.
It's got 300,000 miles on it now.
It's very sad.
It rattles,
and it's got like a loose board
in the back,
like a loose fender
that rattles and shit.
None of the carpet matches up
anymore it's just yeah half his speakers are blown out it's just awful now all the glue letting go
that's right well let's talk about a guy who has a pretty similar uh pretty similar path here not
i will tell you not a lot of sports at all here this is uh crime and sports a lot of crime and
sometimes a little bit of sports that's's our motto here at Crime and Sports.
Is this a draft bust?
This is a very big, well, not really a draft bust because he was drafted late, but it's a talent bust.
It's a guy who literally could have been an amazing running back.
I mean, we're talking a top-tier guy.
And instead is garbage.
Very much in the vein of Lawrence Phillips.
He's compared to Lawrence Phillips all the time.
It's Cecil Collins.
You know who this is?
No, I was going a different way.
I was going with Ricky Williams.
Ricky Williams.
No, he hasn't done anything.
What has he done wrong?
He's a nice guy.
He likes to smoke his weed and mind his fucking business.
I don't know.
I remember there was a video online of him being interviewed by cops and I don't't he get... I don't know. I remember him being in... There was a video online of him being interviewed by cops, and I don't remember the outcome.
I don't remember.
He's never...
He's real...
He's just a stoner, Ricky Williams.
He's just a com...
Not a lot of arrests, just...
He's a com...
Yeah, he's not doing...
He's just like, hey, man, I smoke my weed.
Like, that's all.
Leave me the fuck alone.
I'm wrapped by Master P.
That's it.
Master P is in this episode as well.
Really?
We will talk about Master P.
Oh, my God.
I can't wait.
All sorts of shit.
Well, Cecil Collins, better known as Cecil the Diesel Collins.
Of course.
Of course he's Cecil the Diesel.
Cecil J.P. Collins.
Can't ascertain the middle name.
All I got is J.P.
I wonder if it's actually J.P.
It might just be J.P.
Who knows?
It might be after other people.
It might be.
We have no fucking idea.
But Cecil the Diesel
Collins here. Born November
19th, 1976.
When he grows up, he's 5'10",
about 210 pounds. He's
a running back. I mean, he's a bowling
ball of a, you know,
muscly, thick-legged, you know,
tough dude. He's from
Leesville, Louisiana.
Which is in, it's in central louisiana on the
western border okay and like on the texas border there up in central you know up when you're
talking north south inland oh yeah this does not touch water water this is uh this is gross this
is not yeah this is not uh mardi gras no there's no mardi gras to be had here fuck no they'd shoot you if you wore beads
here is that a smile boy you can show us your tits but we ain't giving you no beads that's the
town motto leesville it's uh leesville like a dude like the guy well it's named after robert
e lee as a matter of fact oh jesus yeah this is this
is the south boy oh my word oh yeah this is an army town too there's uh the home of the fort
poke u.s army installation here so the motto of the town not to go too small town murder here
but their town motto is best hometown in the army so it's an army fucking town just plain and simple uh it's known leesville area is known as
no man's land of louisiana just it's it's just who the fuck wants to be out in western louisiana
on the texas border but best hometown james if you're in the army best hometown in the army
not anywhere no man's land it's better than fallujah is what they're telling you it's named
after the area of leesville better than kabul it's named after the area of the battlefield with like the barbed wire
and and and like trenches right yeah yeah that's fucking horrifying like the the demilitarized
zone right that's what it is uh it's the it's uh it's it was founded in 1871 uh the guy who founded it uh named it for his uh his his hero robert e lee
and uh that was the yeah so there you go and it was home to a giant plantation and this is
it's very southern let's just put twitter hasn't heard of this one yet no no no uh no that name
would have been changed already fuck gone gone now uh cecil's parents get divorced in 1987 and he's about 11 years old which is around
the same time he starts playing football uh now at 12 years old he was at leesville junior high
he played tailback for the seventh and eighth grade teams both of them and both teams and would
often they had games in the same day so he would would play both games. Holy shit. At 12, he'd be playing both games.
They said it was not uncommon at all for him to get 50 carries in an afternoon at 12 in one day.
And then go to the next game.
Way too much abuse on a 12-year-old's body.
That's crazy.
One day, his coaches said that he gained 300 yards in the first game and then 250 yards in the second game.
So, that's insane.
He's having all-star games back-to-back.
Yeah, he's playing double-headers in football, which is insanity.
It's crazy.
A volunteer coach for the seventh-grade team, a guy named Teddy Berry, said,
quote,
coach would let me have cecil for the first half of the seventh grade game then come get him for the start of his game one day we were playing our big rival at halftime the eighth grade coach came
up to me and said teddy i need cecil i said man you can't have him he said but teddy he's already
scored five touchdowns you're up like you're up 35 for nothing yeah but he's like well it's our
rival cough up the kid let's go let's take We need the hero. So that's right away.
He steps in and he's not one of these kids that like, you know, kind of took the football
slowly and, you know, needed to mature physically.
He was always a thick, mature, physically kind of guy.
He's the type of guy that even when he goes to college, like he could have probably physically
made a jump to the NFL as a freshman.
Just size alone. Just based on his. Yeah. He's a physical NFL as a freshman. Just size alone.
Just based on his, yeah, he's a physical son of a bitch.
He's fast.
He's really fast, as we'll talk about.
But for his speed, he lowers his shoulder, he'll knock you over.
So it's not common when you get those two things together.
It's guys like Lawrence Phillips that are like that.
It's the reason that Christian Akoya was such a fucking monster in the NFL, because he would do that.
He probably ran like a fucking 5'3", 40, though.
He wasn't very fast at all, but he was just huge.
He was just a monster.
Holy shit.
He was a monster person.
When he'd get going straight, he was fast.
I don't remember.
When he'd do the dance from side to side, that's when they'd just tackle his big shoulder pads right to the ground.
He was a straightforward guy.
You shimmy to the right at his size,
three, four yards,
you're already out of bounds.
That's it.
They want him to start
way back in the backfield,
get a running start.
By the time you get that ball,
be at full speed
and just plow through the line.
Doesn't matter.
Tell them to grab ankles
if they want to tackle you.
Hit them like bowling pins.
That's essentially what he did. That man was a monster. People try to tackle ankles if they want to tackle you. Hit them like bowling pins. That's essentially what he did.
Yeah.
That was a monster.
Yeah.
People try to tackle him up high like a running back, you know, around the stomach area and
just bounce off of him.
He would do the high step and bounce them off their thigh, off his giant legs.
And that was neat.
And you'd see guys get kneed in the head by him.
And you're like, oh, God.
And they're laying out cold.
Yeah.
From a running
back's legs that's uh yeah oj used to do that to people too really yeah oj was famous for that
was he really was he i i never saw him play but son of a bitch on the he was fast as hell but he
would you'd see him and his teammates would talk about it too with oj he he was oj had a real rage
to him yeah when he ran That's bizarre. He ran.
Yeah.
Weird, isn't it?
Strange that that would come out.
Yeah.
He's a rageful guy, but he would look to deliver a shoulder to somebody and shit like that.
Like he was.
Yeah, he was tough and fast.
So Cecil goes to Leesville High School, which Leesville the year year before he got there, had one win as a program.
Collectively?
Collectively. Over the years?
No, over that year.
The year before.
The year before he got there, they had one win as a program.
So they were not a good deal.
By the time he graduates, they're a big powerhouse that goes to state championships every year.
And a lot of it is him.
Of course.
championships every year and it's a lot of it is him of course uh leesville i guess they're there they have a few uh actually uh you know alumni that are in the that played in the nfl kevin
mawai who played for 15 years was a center for the the jets and the titans he played forever
how do you spell that m-i-u-i-m-a-w-a-e oh he's a white guy big one not a hawaiian guy you're
thinking of a big hawaiian A big Samoan dude.
No, Kevin Mawai.
I've seen Moana too many times.
Yeah, I think that's what it is.
That's what it is.
Kavika Pittman, who played for Denver.
You should know him.
Okay, I was thinking Pittman for the Bengals.
No, no.
Well, he played for Carolina and Dallas also.
He played for Dallas and Denver forever.
He played for like eight years in the NFL.
He was there.
Cecil, a few guys who played a couple of years,
but Jerron Ham.
I don't know.
Whatever.
I love that last name so much.
Ham with two Ms.
Yeah.
Jack Ham.
You got to be a giant fat white guy to have that name.
Well, Jack Ham.
What a great name for a linebacker,
the old Steelers linebacker.
That's a great Jack Ham.
So badass.
And he was a badass.
The Pittsburgh Steelers had a ton of linebackers named Jack. Oh, yeah. That's a great Jack Hamm. So badass. And he was a badass. The Pittsburgh Steelers had a ton
of linebackers named Jack.
Jack Lambert, Jack Hamm. That's like
their go-to. Oh, they were great.
All their guys sounded tough. Mel Blunt,
that's a tough son of a bitch. In the backfield,
Joe Green. Joe Green. They all
sound crazy. They sounded like made-up
names that guys have when they're
in the witness protection program. Hey,
I'm Joe Green. How you doing? This is Jack Hamm ham this is uh jack lambert you guys couldn't think of different
names you both had to be whatever jack ham and jack lambert here we got uh mel yeah mel one
short names one syllables that was when the world was great the stealers just a
gathering of witness protection people.
And that's why they won, because they were criminals.
They were mean, damn it.
They were sneaky. Plus,
they would hijack the truck with the
equipment on the way there. Teams wouldn't have helmets.
It was a real mess. That's how it works.
So, yeah, Leesville High.
Like we said, Leesville's
Cecil's parents
divorced in 87. His father was in the military for 18 years. That's parents divorced in 87.
His father was in the military for 18 years.
That's why they're here.
Yeah, he was career service, and then he ended up being a recruiter after that for the service,
so he kind of stayed around.
And he ended up, after the divorce, his father, James, eventually moved to Houston,
and his mother, Beverly, she stayed in the area. Just army guy leaves and then they stay that's correct which is interesting his mother
beverly worked the late shift at a fast food restaurant to support the kids uh and then
apparently cecil he he took his talent to be mean he could do whatever the fuck he wanted he's one
of these guys that was like well shit i don't have to go to class they pulled me out of that game at halftime in the championship to put me
in another you think you can do anything to me i got 200 yards last week like i don't know what
you got 550 last last thursday you had one win before i got here so i think i'm gonna skip
science this morning i don't feel like doing uh apparently he started skipping classes in his
junior year and then his coach
this is how this is what happens when you're like a good athlete his coach would call him at 6 a.m
to wake him up every morning wow if i skipped classes nobody would call and wake me up they'd
just be like oh that asshole didn't show up again who cares they call the police and they're like
this is four days in a row can you check on the kids going on in new york they didn't even care no fuck no you cannot show up for six months they'd
be like you're here again what happened they weren't real big on truancy laws there didn't
really matter not when i was in high school anyway uh so then the coach would pick him up
at seven o'clock in the morning and drive him to school uh which is that's awesome and the coach
even said quote some mornings he wouldn't come to the phone and i'd have to let myself in the house and get him up uh what he wouldn't answer
the phone so the coach would go and i guess he had a key to the house his mother would give him
a key so he'd have to get let himself into the house to to rouse this child wow from his slumber
that's bananas that's crazy i've never heard of a coach going in somebody's house to wake them up. Please. We need you.
We had one win.
Get up.
If you skip classes, they won't let you play, and then I'll get fired.
Get up.
I want to coach college someday.
Come on.
Jesus.
A lot of kids in high school, their parting word to each other is one, like one love or
one respect or whatever.
His is one, reminding him that's where we were last year.
One.
You come back tomorrow.
Please.
Wake up. One. One class you have to attend to say that you're here today. his is one reminding him that's where we were last year one you come back tomorrow please wake up
one one class you have to attend to say that you're here today i don't give a shit i don't
care just be here show the fuck up for something now as a senior cecil was suspended three times
before the first game of the season for general fuckery and uh nickery he, it was a minor shit, but they, the school said that,
uh,
he,
he,
uh,
showed a disrespect for authority,
a refusal to obey the rules and an attitude of privilege and superiority.
You know,
a football player,
a teenager that is a star on your football team.
That's a star.
Yeah.
You can't,
it's so funny.
Cause like,
you don't think it's a big deal to be a star on the football team like as an adult.
But like that's a big deal.
If you're in high school.
Yeah.
Your whole world is that school.
And if you're a star there, you might as well be like that's like being a grown up and being
famous for whatever the fuck.
And in the early 80s.
Forget it.
Yeah.
So that's a huge.
Well, this was this was the 90s.
Oh, this was born.
Oh, you were born in 76.
Yes.
In my head.
I logged 67
no no it's because i'm dyslexic learning and listening go a little you have dyslexic ears
yeah that's good jimmy wistman the most dyslexic ears in podcasting a lot of slogans coming out
today this is good you know how many times i've done that on small town murder too where oh yeah
and then i do and that's why my math is better because you started out with wrong numbers to begin with also because I'm dumb well if you
start out with the wrong numbers to begin with it's hard to get math right that's the problem
you really got to get the the numbers correct to start with the equation matters to the solution
what's weird super weird so he was basically being a kid being a kid that thought he was above shit and the
things that he did was way way below anything i did in high school so i mean he wasn't being a bad
person he was just being he's just not following rules like he knows he needs to the first thing
he was in trouble for was wearing a beeper to class remember what a big deal that was in the
90s if you wore a beeper to class remember what a big deal that was in the 90s
if you wore a beeper to class they'd fucking dumb you'd have to turn it around in your pocket right
and fucking have it on the tab on the outside yeah well you'd have to just put it in and i
remember in new york they were crazy for that shit yeah that's how we all wore it anyway with
the tab sticking yeah yeah we did too because you don't put the fucking thing you don't hang it out
like you that's people's dads did that that's You put it inside with the tab and you check it.
What, have you got a tee time, you fuck?
Why have you got it on your fucking hip like that, you idiot?
What's going on?
What's going on?
Did that come with those khakis?
What's going on there?
Is that a case the babysitter calls?
What are you doing, old man?
Dockers now with beeper case on belt loop.
Came standard stock in 1997.
So that was a big deal, though. you'd have to hide your beeper and
yeah all that which is dumb because you can't call anybody no hey well it was just you didn't
want any beeping or any vibe but you're gonna look at it vibration or silent nobody ever had
it on beep beep no no you have it on vibrate because you didn't want to be you know get caught
with that shit and that's not it's not just that it's that sound was annoying as it was more slick to
like be all yeah you know just a lot you just be all hey what's that who's this over here what's
going on here in my pocket hold on i got people in my pocket i got some number codes i gotta
decipher real quick people trying to talk to me through my pockets hold on what a dumb thing that
was i can't believe that was so so popular it was well it was just uh that was the
social media of the time that's all there was yeah it was like that either that or i'll call
you at home all right if you were out you could be reached amazing fucking amazing wait a second
i could not be home and if you want to get a hold of me you can't do it you can get a hold of me
this is mind blown holy shit not just for drug dealers anymore uh also then uh one time he showed up
without wearing a belt oh showed up without a belt that was a dress code i that was a dress
code thing uh which i mean good how dare you what an infraction did no belts my god did his
cock fall out you see how big i am my cock probably broke the belt on my way to school.
It just, I got a little excited.
You see how old I am?
I'm 16.
You know how many midday boners I get?
And my belt exploded on the bus, I'm sorry.
I don't know what to tell you.
So showed up without a belt.
So obviously he's a serial killer in the making.
I know the triad is what?
Bedwetting, cruelty to animals, and not wearing a belt, right? I feel like that's what it, or was it? It's usually that. I think those areting, cruelty to animals and not wearing a belt.
Right.
I feel like that's what it was.
Usually that I think those are the three.
Yeah. And not wearing a belt.
That's what it is.
So, yeah, clearly he's on his way to Ted Bundy territory, as we can see.
And finally, the third infraction that he got suspended for, he was suspended for all
three of these things was a teacher heard him use profanity.
Oh, didn't use profanity to the teacher didn't say like yo
fuck you ma'am like he heard him use profanity to another student so a teenager a 17 year old kid
swore when speaking to another student no when speaking to his peer that's it how do you do it
they should have they should have just put him they put it should have put him to sleep i think at this point i'm sorry i lock he should have thrown away the key
obviously he's that's he's a bad seed and he's in for a life of murder i'm sorry i don't mean
to say it that specifically but obvious wearing a beeper no belt and cursing around another
teenager that's basically that's its own triad right there.
You do that, you're going to kill.
That's all there is to it.
So they act like he's a bad kid.
He said, they asked him if he wore his beeper to look cool,
and he said, quote, no, I needed it for my mom and my girl.
At the time, my girl was pregnant in high school, which is bad.
My girl was pregnant and everything. which is bad it's tough my girl was pregnant and everything
so uh and everything so yeah so uh yeah he's got uh he'll end up having three total children
in the end this is the first of the first one is when he's 17 when he's a kid yeah when he's 17
but on the this is all off the field on the field uh this is i'm surprised they even bothered with getting him in trouble for not having a belt with these kind of numbers.
He scored in his career in high school, he scored 99 touchdowns and rushed for 7,833 yards.
Wow.
That's a shitload.
That's almost a touchdown for every 100 yards.
It's like running a whole 100 yards and then getting a touchdown.
Just every time.
I'll take the ball and run it.
Don't worry.
And at 99,
how did the coach not just be like,
just get him that extra one.
Yeah, I don't know.
Somehow let's figure it out.
Who knows if they were trying
in the last game
and couldn't quite get there.
Probably had to yank him out
because he had another game.
Yeah.
Hold on.
He's playing a semi-pro game
later on this afternoon.
He's also named
the first Mr. Football in Louisiana.
I guess they started the Mr. Football thing there.
And he's the first one.
This is the second highest rushing total in Louisiana high school history that he has.
Second?
Second highest in the entire state history.
In his senior season, just his senior season, he rushed for over 3,000 yards.
In three years before, he had like 3,800.
Yeah, 4,800.
And then this season.
He rushed just for 3,000 yards.
Wow.
Which 4,800, he only played 10 games.
Right.
So for 1,000 yards, that's over 100 yards a game.
That's impressive anyway.
But 3,000 yards in like 10 games is pretty ridiculous.
Oh, boy.
And scored 40 touchdowns in his senior season my christ he
just he was going through people like a hot knife through butter it seems like that's i mean like
he's that's a man a man among boys for sure they can't tackle him he's too strong and uh he leads
the he leads leesville uh leesville to the class 4a state title game where they end up losing but
they go all the way to the state championship.
The year before he got there, one win when he's leaving state championship.
So, you know, not bad.
And people, obviously, colleges were over the moon for this guy.
They were recruiting him left and right.
He was just known as Cecil.
All the recruiters knew him by the first name.
He was one of the top prospects there was.
They said that they called him a Bo Jackson clone.
He was known as, quote,
the Bo Jackson clone down in Redneck, Louisiana.
That was his moniker among the, you know,
Redneck, Louisiana, Bo Jackson.
That's literally what the scouts called him.
You know who I'm talking about.
That is awesome.
I guarantee you scouts are some filthy dudes.
Oh, they are.
They say some horrible things.
They live in a fucking car in a sleazy motel.
I've read books written by scouts that are like their, you know, talk about their life.
Their memoirs.
Yeah.
All they do is they go from shit town you've never heard of to shit town you've never heard
of and look at people
those are baseball scouts and they eat shit food and they drive shit cars and they make shit money
and they stay in terrible hotels and they work way too it's terrible they're all awful people
and they have to try to wear a suit through that yeah well no they'll wear not to the games really
no they'll wear windbreakers and shit okay yeah because they have to they have radar guns i guess i'm judging off of a league of their own yeah yeah no probably
in the 40s john lovitz wore a suit but now they just wear a probably a some khakis and a wind
breaker only scout i think i've ever seen hey there every scout's like you got a pretty good
curveball there kid nowadays look at you break through that offensive line hmm
unbelievable i wonder if you can catch the forward pass nowadays. Look at you break through that offensive line.
Unbelievable. I wonder if you can catch the forward pass.
We're just integrating it into our offense
and we think you could be an asset. We've just heard
of the backward lateral. Oh boy.
We're going to run the wing formation.
Have you ever seen a flea flicker boy?
We're breaking away from the single wing
and we're going to go into a tee.
It's revolutionary, we know, but we're breaking away from the single wing and we're gonna go into a t it's revolutionary we know but we're gonna try it anyway kid you're right he's gonna go into the
2000s yep for it oh jesus christ so uh yeah uh the coach all the big schools were were recruiting
him uh baylor because it was close by there in texas uh illinois nebraska notre dame texas a&m texas oklahoma
you name it there every big school you can think of he chooses lsu oh because he's a louisiana kid
and that's what he that's where he wants to go damn tigers yeah and that's that's what it is uh
lsu is the assistant in lsu who recruited collins said quote in leesville the kid was so popular he
could do anything he wanted
because he was such a great player.
So many people liked him.
Anything he did was socially acceptable.
So he comes from a place where he just can do no fucking wrong.
He's calling the shots.
He is, and that's going to be a problem later on.
Shockingly.
Weird.
That's weird, right?
So they recruit him hard and he goes there.
Problem is, though, he had a low ACT score,
which is a college entry deal here.
That's the problem.
Yeah, a lot of these players have a lot of the brain damage sport players tend to have low ACT scores.
And it's a problem.
So this puts his eligibility in a question coming in.
So he retakes the test and he improves enough to pass it, and they call it suspicious.
They say his improvement in a short amount of time was suspicious, so they made him retake it again, and he failed by one point.
Oh, God damn it.
He failed by one point and was declared ineligible for his first season at LSU.
So he had to sit out his freshman year at LSU,
which a lot of times they redshirt a guy anyway.
This wasn't a guy you redshirt.
This is like a Maurice Claret kind of guy who comes out physically ready.
You need him right now.
Yeah, you throw him at the line and you let him go.
So one of the Leesville assistant coach said,
quote, it was always we've got to keep Cecil out of trouble.
The school didn't want to give him a fourth suspension because that meant expulsion.
It wanted him to graduate because everybody knew he was going on to bigger and better things.
Unlike other kids, Cecil never suffered the consequences of his actions, which I mean, if there's more that they didn't actually suspend him for, that's fine.
But the things he did were not like what are the
consequences for those he didn't wear a belt listen fuck the new god damn it the world is
gonna fall apart if a 17 year old kid doesn't wear a fucking belt what are we talking about
what are we doing fractions are so minor it's like who gives a shit what could the what could
the uh responsibility that he's shoulders of punishment really be and it was gonna it was the 90s he was
sagging his pants a little that's all it's all it was tell him to pull his fucking pants up if you
have a problem with it and move on what the fuck are we talking about we're not talking about a
kid that's getting in fights we should ruin people's lives because of a lack of belt i feel
like it's so stupid and he cursed i heard him say shit to another student in the cafeteria. He said shit.
No.
Run for cover.
At the end of the sentence, he put and shit in there.
Can you imagine?
Oh, my God.
Suspend that man.
So anyway, they said that they would overlook a lot that went on, though.
Coaches did.
Even the cops in town would, you know, stupid shit.
If he was making a scene somewhere they wouldn't nobody would bother him basically uh he uh they said he reported for practice in 1996 for lsu
and he had to take a drug test like everybody else and he failed it yeah his first drug test
drug test with lsu first one he fits positive for marijuana uh and they asked him why he would use
drugs when he knows
he's going to be tested then because it's not like it was a surprise that you knew you're going to
show up take a physical get drug tested and then start playing so you don't smoke weed for a month
before that and you clear your shit out and you make sure you're eligible same thing with the nfl
players we've talked about uh the nate jackson guy his book he talked about how they know when
the tests are coming they know there's one in training camp.
And once that's over with, they're fucking good.
Party it up a bit.
Party it up.
Then they're fine.
They're waiting for that test because they can't smoke weed until they get that test.
And they all like to smoke weed.
They do.
Because they're young guys in pain.
So, you know, it's good for that.
Weed.
Relieves some brain injury.
Yeah.
And also.
Symptoms of it.
And at the same time, kind of fun.
Yeah.
And not an opiate.
So what the fuck are we talking about? Kind of fun Some symptoms of it. And at the same time, kind of fun. Yeah, good. And not an opiate. So what the fuck are we talking about?
Kind of fun.
Kind of fun.
He says that he had a hard time coming up with an answer.
He ended up saying, quote,
I was hanging out with the wrong people doing wild things, you know?
That's all he would say.
Like, I don't know, I was just being stupid, hanging out with the wrong people.
Same way my girlfriend got pregnant.
Bad decisions.
Bad decisions, not thinking about tomorrow.
These things happen. So 97, he ends up playing with lsu and they have a pretty good team that year they
go nine and three uh they end up winning the independence bowl 27 to nine versus notre dame
how about that so look at that they that was a bad period of notre dame still but still sounds
good sounds good to beat notre dame in a bowl game. Their quarterback that year was Herb Tyler, who I don't think he ever went on to.
Whose quarterback?
The LSU.
Oh, okay.
Herb Tyler.
No.
Herb.
Herb's going to lead us, everybody.
Can you imagine being eight and that's your fucking name?
Everybody follow Herb.
Oh, God, no.
We're going to kill these guys.
Follow Herb.
Herb Tyler. It's another made-up mob name. Follow Herb. Herb Tyler.
It's another made-up mob name.
He's in the Witness Protection Program.
Also, Kevin Falk on that team, relative of Marshall Falk and longtime NFL running back for the Patriots.
One of the best ever.
Played forever, Kevin Falk.
One of the cults.
Yeah, well, Marshall Falk.
But Kevin played forever, too.
He was around a long time.
So that type of team, good team.
He's held out the first year or the first game of the 1998 season for a rules violation.
God, Jesus, man.
Or the 97 season for a rules violation.
Do we know?
The team didn't release.
It was a private.
The colleges keep that shit quiet unless it's something they have to release.
Got it.
Unless there's a victim. It was a private. The colleges keep that shit quiet unless it's something they have to release. Got it. So it was just a victim.
Yeah.
Team rules.
So he might have missed a team bus from a hotel or who knows, missed a curfew.
Who the fuck knows?
But he finally comes out and he has his first game on September, September 13th, 1997.
And he is a fucking beast from the start.
An absolute beast.
In his first four games, they end up playing Auburn, which those southern teams.
It's always good.
Auburn, Alabama, Clemson, LSU.
Those teams all playing each other.
Huge rivalries.
He runs for 232 yards versus Auburn.
Uh-oh.
So that is, basically, he doesn't have to walk anymore.
Gangbusters day one.
They'll just carry him from class to class and place to place in town for doing that.
And he said it was just all everybody loved him immediately.
Of course.
He said, quote, it all came so fast.
I didn't feel like I was doing anything so different.
I was just going out there and doing what I do, which is run the ball.
I can't say it was a lot of pressure because I never really I never feel the pressure when I'm playing. So he's one of those guys. It's like, I don't know what I do, which is run the ball. I can't say it was a lot of pressure because I never feel the pressure when I'm playing.
Oh, no.
So he's one of those guys that's like, I don't know what I'm playing.
I'm just playing.
And then when I'm off the field, I'm pretty wasted most of the time.
So fuck it.
He ends up in his first four games of the season here.
He has 72 attempts, 72 rushes for 596 yards, which is 8.3 a carry.
Wow.
Which is about double what good is.
Yeah.
Four yards a carry is like a 300 average type of thing.
And this dude does.
He's hitting about 600 right now.
So 8.3, three touchdowns, had a reception, too.
And just absolutely a beast.
Crushing it.
Crushing it.
Kevin Falk, the longtime NFL running back and teammate here, said, quote,
he was one of the best college running backs I ever saw.
He was just one hell of a player when he played for the Tigers.
He is coming into the fourth game.
He's the nation's leading rusher.
Also has the most yards.
In week four.
In week four so far. And he missed the first game. And he's still the nation's leading rusher. Also has the most yards in week four so far.
And he missed the first game.
And he's still the nation's leading rusher.
He's only a sophomore, and this is his first year playing.
So, you know, for all intents and purposes, he's pretty much a freshman.
So this is pretty crazy.
Grace.
Right now is Grace.
Oh, this is great right now.
He's at the top of the mountain.
He's about to yell off just like i keep in my
beeper he doesn't do what i want i'll do what i want he's doing great uh so game four of the
season in this game they're playing vanderbilt and he starts out hot he's he's you know he's
running all over the field and then he breaks his fibula which which is a problem, clearly. That's your leg.
It's a big bone.
It's a big bone, and he's out for the season now.
Oh, no.
Which sucks.
I mean, Jesus, almost 600 yards in three and a half games?
Yeah.
That's incredible.
Did you see the play?
No, I did not see the play.
It's got to be a low tackle.
Yeah, it wasn't.
From what I understand, it wasn't like a Joe Theismann or anything likeann or anything like that it was just you know he went down and hold his leg and got up and like
it's broken it's broken thing is broken he's limping off can't feel my toes hey guys yeah
problem uh so that uh now that spring he's out for the season so he sits and then that spring
their school obviously the season ends the bowl games are in January. And then they're in school for, you know,
four or five months before the summer.
So that spring, the coach gets word
that Cecil has hooked up with Master P at that point.
Like how?
Well, he's just hanging out with Master P,
which is a problem because at this moment,
Master P is a sports agent.
Master P had just got Ricky Williams as a client.
He's ruining people's careers right now. He's destroying people's careers with awful, awful, awful deals This moment, Master P is a sports agent. Master P had just got Ricky Williams as a client.
He's ruining people's careers right now.
He's destroying people's careers with awful, awful, awful deals that net them really problems that last decades financially.
Ricky Williams should have way more money than he has.
Ricky Williams should be taken care of forever and probably his kids.
I don't care how many he has. a the one of the dumbest contracts in football
just so stupid just a joke of a contract ridiculous you didn't protect the guy no it was ridiculous
look up ricky williams first contract everything is incentive based everything every fucking thing
it's fucking crazy if you don't perform you make no money basically yeah for a guy who's a top five
draft pick that doesn't work like that no you get 20 million up front right now fuck that
shit yeah that's how it works and the guy in front of him got a lot and the guy behind him got a lot
and he's like yo we got we got the long game we gotta play yeah he got you're the best ricky it
doesn't matter you're gonna have 4 000 yards this year did you forget he smokes weed bro like well
he's gonna choose that over this one day well he was really good but he was on it the saints sucked and they traded their entire next few drafts to have him so they were never gonna
have an offensive line and then they're gonna say all we're gonna do is hand it to this ricky
williams guy and then everybody's obviously not gonna let him run anywhere and then he went to
the dolphins was that after the weed thing or was that yeah i think so and he was fucking good on
the dolphins he did great yeah and then he just decided no i don't want to do this. Well, he was in his 30s, too.
What's the good point?
He was going to get the shit beat out of you.
He was getting beat up for a long time.
He was a thick dude, too.
He was.
Take a lot of abuse on your legs.
Big head.
Yeah.
Everything about him was huge.
No, he was.
Except for his height.
He wasn't that big.
Was he 5'9", 10?
5'10", yeah.
Maybe 5'11".
He's got a body type like this guy, like Cecil here.
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The wait is over. So far, you're not losing. The only thing you're losing is my patience. app or on Apple Podcasts. I see he's not intimidated by anything. I can fix that. New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
Okay, so, um...
This is not a so. This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door
the emmy award-winning series returns how did i know that i have crystal ball in my head
it's an all-new season it's streaming you can say anything judy justice only on freebie the thing about this obviously ncaa uh not only frowns upon absolutely outright prohibits people
from entering into business relationships with agents now as i've talked about before in the
maurice claret episode especially that's complete horseshit they do it all the time they pick these
guys out when
they're sophomores or when they're freshmen even and they give them a few bucks a month and they
they kind of cultivate them and you know they do that so but they're not technically allowed to
and i guess uh they the coach called cecil's father and is also his high school coach to say
basically what can you do here you mean the guy
that hasn't been in his life he's been in his life he's just moved away but his father actually is in
his life a lot and stays very connected to him in the family he just doesn't live around there
he's in houston he's in houston uh so i guess he said quote the the coach said to the to the father
uh quote danny everywhere he goes he already says to the high school coach, Danny,
everywhere Cecil goes, he's got these guys hanging on him.
The coach was worried every time Cecil left the campus because all of a sudden there'd be his entourage.
Yeah.
And he hated that.
And he was scared that Cecil was going to end up being in an inappropriate relationship
with Master P, which leads to the program being, that puts your program on suspension
or on probation.
You can't be on TV.
You lose scholarships.
It fucks your program up for five years.
So obviously they don't want that to happen.
Now Cecil said that he met, you know,
he met Master P while he was playing basketball around campus.
And he said he was just a friend of his.
He said that Master P quote,
never came out and talked to me about being my
agent hi i'm an agent you're a great running back let's hang out we'll never discuss maybe we should
hook up someday okay sure uh he said uh quote but i figured that later on down the line you know it
was going to end up happening they're going to talk about it yeah exactly uh eventually though
from pressure from the program and everything he he ended up backing away from Master P.
But he already pissed his coaches off and pissed the school off, and they were already kind of leery of him as a liability to them, even though he's a great player.
He said that the coach said he eventually came to regard the relationship with Cecil as, quote, one where neither party is benefiting.
regard the relationship with cecil as quote one where neither party is benefiting and a friend of his one of the teammates said quote jerry bent over backward to help cecil but cecil didn't trust
many people jerry would ask cecil a question cecil will give him an answer then walk across the hall
into my office and tell me the truth which was almost always the exact opposite of what he just
told jerry wow so he's he's got a problem with lying we'll come we'll
talk about later too a lot of people call him a con artist he's really good at it he's he's good
at it and he's he's good at playing the like aw shucks i'm sorry i lied type thing because he's
so good at football people would just forgive that shit his whole life right he can just go
man i don't know i just messed up and they'd be like oh you learned your lesson didn't you cecil
here's a ball get out, put your helmet on.
But it sounds like he knows, based on the question,
what the answer is that they want to hear.
So he just goes that route rather than giving the truth.
Yeah, he tells the head coach what he wants to hear,
because he knows he's learned what gets him in trouble and what doesn't by now.
And then he goes into the coach that he trusts to tell shit to,
and he's like, yeah, this is what actually happened.
I just lied to the head coach because, you know,
he's going to get me in trouble.
There's some punishment that goes along with that.
You know, in reality, though, I'm a dick.
How about that?
But in the 1997 season,
his 8.3 yards per carry were number one in college football.
Wow.
So that's, I mean, it was only for four games,
but still, it was number one in college football
because the number of yards made it eligible for it.
So June 26th, this is – so things – it's not going well for him right now.
No.
At all.
He's talent-wise off the charts great, but he's not doing well with coaches and with – he's not good at organizational, which I understand.
But still, there's certain things you have to do to be part of things.
There's social nuances that you have
to that you have to portray to just to get along with the team and go along to get along is that
what it is i get along to go along go along to go yeah i think but whatever the saying is and we've
talked about it before too where i think it's bullshit if he wants to have a fucking agent
that's not the ncaa's goddamn business like as long as he shows up puts their fucking helmet on
his head goes out there runs around and the people who bought tickets and donate money as alumni are all happy and cheer and
put their fucking purple jerseys on shut up and don't worry about he's doing off the fucking field
business wise that's his business is your team getting is your team benefiting from him being
there then shut the fuck up gee what's college supposed to do prepare you for life what's part
of life i don't know business making fucking money to support yourself huge that's kind of most of your adulthood is what you're trying to do so maybe i don't know
fucking if they want to learn some business and make some money you should probably encourage
that you know that's a good point because no wonder no wonder someone so many of them are
fucking broke eventually you throw them into the fire yeah right now and their first taste of
business is the day they're drafted that's crazy they've
been given little bits of money by agents for so they've had this little bit of money that when
they get it they blow it because that's all they have you get two hundred dollars in a month you
know you get a pizza and some groceries and you're fucking broke so i feel like that you just take
that to your next level you don't learn how to manage anything you don't learn how to be a
professional also the easier the money the easier it is to spend.
That's just money 101.
If you get it super easy, who gives a shit?
Yeah, found money is a fucking cliche for a reason.
Found money, who cares?
Who gives a fuck?
Yeah, exactly.
So June 26, 1998, things get a little bit worse for him.
1998 things get a little bit worse for him when he is in baton rouge he is accused of forcing his way into a apartment on nicholson drive this is the apartment of a woman and fondling her oh no
this is not good this is definitely not i hope he had his belt on here we'll just say that this
isn't wearing your beeper to class this isn't you know cursing it with another student the word fondling though
is always uh in my head it doesn't look as menacing as it probably fucking is yeah well
yeah fondling is grabbing a part of somebody but it sounds like it's a gentle grab that's why that's
why it sounds like he's cupping it not even that it feels like a like a a pointer finger extended
and a flicker of it sounds like a gentle
rub or something where i feel like like a real gentle one though like that you do that's not
you can't there's no fingerprints involved in this meanwhile we understand that's probably
terrible terrible and horrifying if someone forces their way into your apartment and touches you in
any way shape or form gently or not, that's horrific.
We're just saying they should use a different word than fondle.
It's a terrible word.
Because fondle just sounds gentle, and it's not in this case.
So according to the investigation here, Collins went to an apartment.
It's in his complex, mind you.
In his own apartment complex, he does this.
He's not a stranger.
He lives here.
Yeah, this is a neighbor. You ever ever hear don't shit where you eat this is basically the definition of
shitting where you eat here uh so he has a uh he goes to this apartment looking for what's described
as a female acquaintance so some chick he knew that he was trying to hook up with probably uh
this woman had hidden in a bedroom when she figured out that Collins was at the door
because she is afraid of him,
which is a bad sign.
If a woman's afraid of you
to the point of hiding in her bedroom,
you might give off a creepy vibe.
That's terrible.
That's bad.
She goes right to the bedroom
and hides under a couch or a bed?
It's like when dogs are afraid of people.
Not that women are dogs,
but when...
It's an instinct thing.
You didn't have to qualify
i'm just saying we know but you never know because someone's gonna tweet and be like are you saying
that women are like dogs oh god no i'm not i'm saying instinctually people have gut instincts
and if a dog doesn't like a person and is afraid of them they're probably bad and if a woman
hides in their bedroom upon knowing you're at their door, you're probably bad.
Behavior is often shaped by past experiences.
Dogs hide because they get the shit kicked out of them.
You know what I mean?
That too, yeah.
And women oftentimes do the same fucking thing.
So yeah, sometimes women are like dogs.
So yeah.
Crime and sports, where women are like dogs.
God damn it.
Jesus Christ.
Jimmy's trying to win the Mike Boudet award for most female friendly podcast sorry that is a very inside podcasting joke but throwing it out there so uh anyway yeah uh this
woman sends her 17 year old roommate to get rid of him she's like go tell him i'm not here go
down there tell him i'm not here yeah which is some college shit that people do everyone talk
to that guy tell him not here so the woman who went down the 17 year old went down it was another
female she uh the report here says that this woman quote told collins that her roommate wasn't in
and collins pushed his way past her and took a seat on the couch, even though this woman told him to get out.
Yeah.
So he just pushed his way in and sat down on the couch.
It was like, no, I'm coming in.
And they were like, no, get out.
And he's like, no, I'm chilling.
That's a B&E.
That's you're not allowed to do that.
That's absolutely not allowed right there.
Whatever.
So this woman, the second woman, she walked into the bathroom because she was afraid to press the issue.
Because clearly he's not, if he's
if you tell someone to get out and they won't, they're not
right in the fucking head. They're already
they've already crossed the line. They've made up their mind
for whatever they want to do. Yeah, absolutely.
Collins follows her
in to the bathroom. Into her
bathroom. Yes, which again
the last place you want anyone
following you into is the bathroom, even people
you like
right you're like hey i'm there's this is private if it's not your child your dog or your spouse
the fuck out of my bathroom and i don't want any of those people no i don't want them in there
either i'll lock the goddamn door and leave me alone this is my time there'll be a conversation
with them there will be police conversations with it if it being somebody else. If it's my kids, I'm just yelling through it. It's my time.
Leave me alone.
I get 10 minutes.
Just leave me alone.
I deserve this.
There's nothing worse than being interrupted in a bathroom.
No matter what you're doing. You're like, Jesus, I can't even have this.
Brushing your teeth.
When you feel a body in the room, you're like, why are you here?
Can I just have a minute?
I'm in here.
This is clearly my vulnerable space.
God damn it.
Get the fuck out of here.
You could have stabbed me right in the kidney, and I didn't even know it, because all I hear
in my head is from brushing.
Shit.
So, yeah.
So, this follows her into the bathroom.
Then he places himself behind this woman and rubs his dick up against her ass.
Well, that's not what the report says.
The report says rubbed his penis against her buttocks.
So that's the that's the fondle.
That's the fondle.
He held her and was like dry humping her in the ass fondle.
That's over the clothes rape.
That is not OK at all.
Not even close to OK.
He also removed a blanket from around her waist.
She just went to the door, so she had just an underwear and a t-shirt.
Yeah, so she had just gotten out of the shower, apparently.
So, yeah, so he removes this blanket.
I don't know if it was a towel or a blanket.
So she's only
wearing a t-shirt and uh then she yells for him to leave and cursed at him and was trying to get
away from him was cursing at him and she went into the kitchen uh to get away from him because no one
wants to be trapped in a small room with a large man who's rubbing himself on you and also and
forcefully disrobing you right and also the kitchen houses fucking weapons to fend this off.
There you go.
That's the other thing.
In the bathroom, you know, your toothbrush, unless you've pre-sharpened it.
Right.
Or warmed the curling iron.
Yeah, you're not going to.
You're fucked.
You're kind of fucked.
So you can squirt shampoo in his eye.
Your options are limited.
Kitchen's much more.
Rub concealer and foundation all over him.
That's it. That's not much of a weapon. You know what?'s not it could probably hurt but he's still coming if if your dick is that
hard you're gonna go right through some concealer for sure that way that's that's what crime and
sports would like to tell you this week a hard penis goes right through concealer
which i wish i could name that the name of the show this week
oh man so uh yeah so she's she's yelling at him and cursing and she's
in the in the kitchen he follows her into the kitchen and pulls his dick out oh no uh follows
her with his dick out holding his dick uh telling her to uh look at it and touch it i know it's not
funny but it's funny for some reason a man it that would be this
woman i'm sure it was a harrowing frightening horrible experience for her obviously traumatic
and everything else but the thought take her out of the picture yeah take her to picture this man
alone in any environment you want i don't care where it is i don't care if it's the oval office
you can put him on the moon next to the flag you put him anywhere
you want picture him holding his dick in his hand walking towards you with his pants halfway down
going come on touch it and look at it that's pretty fucking funny objectively to me in my head
i'm seeing like a dude that's been married for 12 years and it's their anniversary and she's still
not putting just look at it he's like at least look it's right here just look at it would you touch it please okay you don't even have to touch it just look at it just
look at it i could make that work i can make it work i can make it work that's enough for me if
you look at it then i'll mentally i'll put that together and jesus oh man he's football louis ck
that's what he yeah that's pretty much
what he's doing here except this is forced that well no i'm not gonna get into it but
this is a little more both people were in the room voluntarily to begin with there so that's
the crime starts after they come into the room this guy's crime started oh fucking the second
he walks across the threshold his dick could be in his pants and no no you know not have touched
anybody's ass and it's still fucking criminal.
Now, when he's asking someone to look at and then also subsequently touch his dick, you're entering a new realm of criminality now.
So this woman yelled again, and then the first girl from the other room, the first woman who, yeah, the one who's not there uh she made a noise in the other room
i don't know if she made a noise to try to distract him or if she just knocked something
over or if she was just dying laughing through him saying at least look at him she's like jesus
christ that's what he said to me either that or she was listening against the door not gonna do
shit and then like knocked a book over and was like, damn it, they're going to know. I have to help her.
So at this point, Cecil asked who else was there because she heard a noise.
And when you have your dick out
and you're trying to sexually assault somebody,
you want to know who's in the, everyone in the house.
And also, will they look at it?
Yeah, maybe they'll touch it.
Hey, you know what?
Maybe we don't even need to do this.
Wait, is somebody else here hey yeah yo
behind the door you want to touch it you could it's cool so uh again uh so this woman backed
up in the kitchen she says that it's one of her friends and uh and when she said it's one of her
friends then uh then cecil walked out after she said it's one of my friends get the fuck out and
then he left okay because he's like oh this will be inconvenient to rape you know now there's
another witness i've already got one you know jesus yeah i got one of this lady here somebody
else heard me say look at it like shit someone else just said please just look at it just take
a mental snapshot i'm embarrassed i want to know that you know what it looks like i never want to say those words in my life thank fuck i've never said just look at it
would you just look at it never ever happen never i don't also i don't want anybody to look at it
prefer you didn't as a matter of fact avert your gaze is that your three words avert your gaze unbelievable so jesus so this is this is
fucking horrible we're joking about it but this man against a 17 year old's will burst past her
oh my god did i did i miss that part yeah that's that was the roommate 17 that she sent the doors
it's a 17 year old girl who was burst past he burst into
the place sat down chased her into the bathroom rubbed his dick on her oh my god stripped her of
her fucking half of her clothing and then chased her into another room with his dick out asking if
she could possibly look at it and or touch it no don't do that all of this is in louisiana this
is fucking hard i feel like an electric Louisiana this will probably get you elected to some kind of city council.
I'm not sure what goes on down there.
This will get you elected governor.
I'm not positive, but I was saying electric chair.
You're like, fuck that elected, elected.
You got the elect elect part, right?
Elect part.
So, yeah, he is charged with unauthorized entry and sexual battery, which later on will be changed to simple battery, which I don't understand.
That was a dick and an ass.
That's sexual in my mind.
So whatever.
Well, we'll talk about that.
So that was on June 26th, 1998.
This happens.
So not not OK.
Not at all.
Problem is, you'd think, holy shit, he can maybe he'll try to talk his way out of this one.
He better be on the straight and narrow at this point.
He hasn't played a game in a long time.
And on top of that, he's now charged with horrible crimes.
So this isn't good.
So what he does is, on July 8th, which is, you know, 12, 13, two weeks later, basically, he does it again july 8th which is you know 12 13 two weeks later basically uh he does it
again uh with somebody else yeah uh let's talk about it yeah oh god same thing walks in two
weeks later two weeks later he decides it's a good idea you know it was fun no nobody's seen
my dick in two weeks i wonder if someone someone needs to well someone look at my dick? Please.
Please, somebody look at it.
I can't believe this.
This is fucking amazing.
Two weeks later, an LSU female student filed a criminal complaint against him, alleging that he entered her apartment through a locked door.
Now he's actually...
He didn't just wait for someone to open it and just push his way through.
This is actual breaking and entering.
Oh, boy.
Which is fucking next level crazy.
That's crazy.
She said that he broke in at 4 a.m.
4 a.m.
Jimmy'd her locked door open.
I hate that word.
Yeah, it's not good.
I hate that that's my name.
It's used as a dick, as a fucking tool.
Right.
It's not great. Not even a real tool. It's when you fuck things up. Yeah, it's used as a dick as a fucking a tool right that's not great like
not even a real tool it's when you fuck things up yeah when it's got a jimmy right that means
you just take something and jam it in there and fucking make it work jiggle it until it opens not
even the correct tool jimmy not the correct tool definition slim jim is is legitimately just a a
manufactured piece of steel that you just jam into shit and jiggle it until it works.
It's ridiculous.
That's what a Jim or a Jimmy just seems to be any sort of non-tool with no purpose that can be used for criminal activities.
So Jimmy's opened this door.
And he must be good at this because she is on the sofa sleeping and
does not hear him enter oh so in the same room as him as her sleeping he breaks open a locked door
so he didn't kick it open or anything like that just burst in or some shit like that really good
with a credit card yeah something he's really good or they don't have to have shit locks down there
I don't know what's going on but uh apparently then he went in and sat beside her on the sofa where she was sleeping
which is creepy terrifying fuck terrifying then he quote touched her on the side of the face
and said hey baby and she woke up and saw a person who you who doesn't live there and it was not welcome to be there touching her face saying, hey, baby, while she slept.
You know what she did?
Fucking screamed as loud as she goddamn could and freaked out like anyone that I would.
I would scream like a woman if I woke up.
That's not an insult.
I would fucking the highest pitch thing would come out of my mouth.
You think my voice is kind of deep?
No, I would say that's what the sound would come out of my mouth.
He's only Daniel Stern in Home Alone.
Yeah, exactly.
That's what I would be if I woke up to someone rubbing my cheek going, hey, baby, a large man.
I would freak the fuck out.
Running back size. Oh, yeah fuck out running back size oh yeah big running back
motherfuckers so uh she screamed and he was like oh shit my bad and left what did he expect her to
do did he expect her to be like oh hey how's it hi my name's janet like what the fuck is he supposed
he expected her to go good morning can i see your dick oh can i see i'd like to look at it if that's
possible i could touch it or whatever
let's get it on like thank you for breaking into my house good morning fuck me what is he doing
this uh so uh so he's arrested twice in two weeks which for the same shit terrible thing terrible
creepy awful horrible shit that no one wants to be associated this is a far cry from not wearing
a belt this is way past into the beeper stage escalated quite rapidly way well past the beeper stage i think
we are right now uh his his uh a friend a friend of his here said that he refused to discuss the
the incidents he just said quote cecil always said that nothing happened and that the victim
in the first case was lying about the whole thing he never went into detail but all he would say is that she was lying and that he didn't do it
uh she said there wasn't really much he could do because it was her word against his okay what
about the second one right let's have number two let's talk about that you know what we'll give you
the first one okay we'll give it we'll give you that one uh what about number two we'll watch
we'll watch that two people heard exactly the same thing that you did to another girl.
Let's just put that on the shelf for one sec.
Pretend that shit didn't happen.
We'll act like this is account number one.
How about, hey, baby, what's that about?
While touching her fucking face.
Fuck that.
So this comes on also the heels of apparently he was about to be suspended from
the lsu football team anyway for a long list of rules infractions on the team including three
positive drug tests so he's just not he's just fucking around uh the coach kicks him off the
team the day the charges were filed for the sexual battery. He's like, okay, that's enough.
You're failing drug tests.
You're hurt anyway.
Now you're getting arrested for taking your dick out and asking people to look at it.
No, not happening.
Now, his official defense for these crimes, both of them were, this is, let's guess.
What's his defense?
I didn't do it.
Okay, that's one. one no this is not his defense
a different guy uh no uh-huh it's better than that oh boy uh i was sleepwalking oh no i have
no recollection of the incidents i don't know what happened if they say that's what happened
i guess it happened but i don't remember it because i was asleep that is the most dangerous
napper in history he He's the fucking.
Yeah, you can't be the creepy sleeper like that.
That would be his.
You can't be a guy that takes a nap and wakes and wakes people up with your dick out.
You can't do that.
No, that's and that's his nickname.
It should be the creepy sleeper.
Cecil, the creepy sleeper Collins.
So Jesus sounds like a nickname.
Somebody would have.
It does.
It's not bad.
Creepy sleeperer i like that so uh yeah he is uh kicked off the team here yeah i was sleepwalking yeah i don't fucking know wow i mean that's ballsy by the way far stretch of of for believability
that's you know i mean to have plausible deniability in that fat that's crazy that's
yeah that's not even plausible don't remember any of it uh they actually gets a break in court he gets a five-year prison term suspended
really so he gets a five-year suspended sentence so he doesn't do time for this uh he does also
get four years of probation okay out of this whole deal four years if he fucks up he goes to prison
he's gonna go to prison for five years or and else. Now, an assistant coach, John Nagel, we'll talk about from another team he plays for here, said,
You want to know the truth about Cecil Collins?
This is when he was 22.
He's a 22-year-old man with a 15-year-old brain.
When he's on the football field, he works his butt off.
But off the field, he's as immature as they come.
That's his problem.
butt off but off the field he's as immature as they come that's his problem uh now the good thing is his uh his old coach teddy berry the seventh grade coach that he used to loan the coach would
loan him to the eighth grade team he's now a bail bondsman so hey lucky talk about serendipity here
uh teddy berry goes and fucking he owns a whole Jesus wholesome bail bonds in Leesville.
And he posted a $20,000 bond after the first arrest and then a $35,000 bond after the second arrest.
And yeah, he also would kind of be his.
He kind of helped him find another school to go to.
He was kind of acting as his de facto lawyer agent mentor a father figure
type deal uh he got a full release from lsu they were like yeah you're you're good go wherever the
fuck you want uh he could transfer to another school now but the problem is if you attend if
you go to a division 1a school another division one school you have to sit a year that's the
you have to be out you can't transfer to another school you have to sit really it keeps them from recruiting
people's already taken people away that makes sense that way yeah if some other school in your
conference had a good quarterback especially a smaller school you just go pick him off yeah and
he'd come to your school but if they have to sit a year and made the nfl right oh fuck yeah it
happens all the time because they'll start in a shit program and go to another troy acheman did it there you go oklahoma to ucla so our oklahoma
oklahoma yeah not state so uh uh but if you go to a division two school you can play right away
anywhere you want anywhere you want so uh this berry guy had coaches calling him from everywhere
all these shit schools they need something yeah something. Look at what he did.
He's a great back.
He's really good.
I guess the first call was from a Northwestern state
who invited him for a visit,
and the coach said,
we rolled out the red carpet, I guess you could say.
We showed him around campus,
and it was all very positive.
And then some school administrators and I
sat down and asked him some tough questions.
I'm sure it was intimidating for him and uh he said that cecil had an explanation for both arrests
in one case he claimed to be the victim of mistaken identity of course and in the other one
he said uh to the coach quote it's not as serious as you read in the paper so now it's not sleep
walking anymore now the first case just didn't happen mistaken identity
and the second one misunderstanding so he's full of shit and he tells 10 different stories so
that's a problem you gotta have one for that you know what i mean there's no one solid story don't
get multiple stories on something that serious i have a sleep problem i've been seeing a doctor
yeah that's what you need to say yeah i saw a doctor i get sleep apnea i got a mask i'm good now i get a thing i gotta i take these pills they help me
sleep through the night now it's much better yeah something bed with leather straps i can't get out
yeah you need a solution for that problem yeah you gotta have a reason and then the solution
it's weird coach i just sleepwalk it's like we gotta we have to put you in like the wolf man
to hide you or lock you up at night so finally finally, 1998, he ends up transferring to McNeese State.
Yeah.
Never heard of it.
McNeese State.
Yeah.
It's a boy.
Do we know where that is?
It's down south there.
I think it's in Louisiana, too.
It's just a Division II school.
They're a good Division II school.
And he ends up going there.
He's eligible to play right away, obviously.
And he ends up going there.
He's eligible to play right away, obviously.
Now, the McNeese State had went to the 1AA National Championship the last season.
All right.
And lost 10 to 9.
So the coach here at McNeese State, Bobby Kiesler, said, quote,
Through Cecil's attorney, Cecil expressed to the McNeese football staff that he wished to become a member of our football team.
The football coaching staff and team members meant to discuss the possibility and have agreed to give Cecil an opportunity to become a member of the team.
It is with the understanding that no misconduct will be tolerated either on the football field or in the classroom.
In women's apartments at 4 a.m., that's out of our jurisdiction.
But anywhere that we own on our property, he's not going to fuck around.
Problem is, he fails a drug screening and is kicked off the team before the season even starts.
No.
Right away.
The first one of the year that they give you just when you're checking in, and he fails
that.
How much of a dipshit is this guy?
He's a pretty big dipshit, I would say. What what the fuck he got arrested and then did it again yeah the same
shit was in the same place he's an idiot uh yeah so it's a it's a it was a court-ordered drug test
and uh because he violated the terms this is a term this isn't for school this is probation this
is his probation shit uh this revokes his bond
agreements and he's ordered back to a baton rouge and jailed for more another court appearance oh
no so not only did he fuck himself out of school he's putting himself in jail now
so you're an idiot this guy's a fucking idiot so that old coach just lost all that money
yeah he put up for him what a dipshit he's just an idiot yeah the whole thing is he got him there
he brought him down they made a whole big deal out of him there's articles in the paper it
was a big deal then he immediately fails a drug test i can't even believe this uh so his father
james uh visited him in jail uh and his father was a was a staff sergeant in the army and then
and then he wasn't a recruiter i'm sorry. James has worked as a corrections office at a prison for the criminally insane in Texas.
Yeah, criminally insane in Texas after retiring from the air.
This is a hard man.
Criminally insane in Texas, which is basically double criminally insane.
It's basically repetitive.
You really got to be criminally insane.
In Texas. So, yeah, you got to be wackally insane in texas so yeah you got to be
wacky so uh that's so this guy is a tough guy he says he visited him and uh his father james said
quote i lectured him i remember him saying daddy i don't belong here uh and i said i want you to
know one thing he's cecil i'm there every day too and i know the things you're going through
and he asked him if he felt caged caged his freedom was taken away, and all that sort of thing.
He said to Cecil, quote, look around you, son.
If you're really the man you thought you were, then why are you stuck in jail and not playing football?
Tough love, and it's good.
Now, the coach, Nagel, the coach from LSU, or I'm sorry, from McNeese State.
No, that was LSU.
I'm sorry.
He called, Jesus Christ, man.
He called to tell Cecil goodbye.
And Cecil, God damn it.
The coach said that Cecil asked the coach what was going to happen.
And the coach said, quote, hell, Cecil, I don't know what's going to happen,
but I don't think it's going to be good.
And Cecil said, quote, the judge likes me,
and I'm going to talk my way out of it.
Oh, my God. That's what he said. No. be good and cecil said quote the judge likes me and i'm going to talk my way out of it oh my god
that's what he said no he sounds like the wild and wonderful whites of west virginia
in this documentary a kid had shot his uncle yeah multiple times in the face then had like a two-day
standoff with the police while shooting at police and everything else and then was like i don't think i'm gonna get jail time the judge likes me what and then got 50 years in jail so uh he'll be lucky with the charges that he's got
he's never he's not getting out on on good good uh prisoner behavior you know what i mean well
he's gonna be there a while this is a probation violation right but it's probation violation and
the probation is on sexual assault charges.
Yeah, totally.
Well, they reduced it to simple battery.
Oh, that's right.
So the sexual thing is out of there.
I think that's so he doesn't have to register as a sex offender, probably, is why they did that.
Now, the coach said he told him, quote, Cecil, you're about at the end of talking your way out of things.
And he said that's the last time he talked with him.
of talking your way out of things.
And he said that's the last time he talked with him.
Now, it ends up being a guilty to felony counts of unauthorized entry of an inhabited dwelling
and misdemeanor simple battery counts.
That's what it was here.
So it's the five-year, like we said, five-year suspended.
He ends up serving 28 days in jail
out of the probation violation
and then ends up in a halfway house for two months
so he ends up losing three months of his of his whole deal out of this in the halfway house he
signs with an agent because he can still play football so there will be a silver-haired middle
age white man on the front lawn of a fucking halfway house with a pen and a piece of paper
going i could i can get you money and money boom box playing over his head yeah i
could do yeah just let's see those big thighs that get bust through that line my friend this is jimmy
sexton who's kind of a he's a character this guy and has a lot of uh interesting dealings later on
uh this guy here uh he says that collins ends up when he gets out of this whole halfway house, he's moved to Dallas to prepare for the draft.
Okay.
Sexton, the agent, would give Cecil an allowance so he could live,
hired a trainer to get him back into shape,
and began spreading PR basically around the NFL that his clients had changed man,
and Cecil's seen the error of his ways, and now he's fine.
is a changed man and Cecil's seen the error of his ways and now
he's fine.
The lawyers, basically
they're trying to get
everything over with legally before
the NFL draft and all that
sort of thing. Under the terms of the plea
agreement, he's sentenced
to the probation and also
400 hours of community service.
And he says he can't wait to do that.
They send him to
the nfl combine he runs a 44 140 yard dash that's great fucking great yeah it's the second best
running back time in the whole combine how about that which they're impressed with because last
last time they saw him was pre-broken leg right so that's impressive it's healed yeah i don't know
who number one was i know you're gonna ask me i don't i'm not sure i love knowing that i know i
do too anytime anybody ever goes this person was number two oh yeah who't know who number one was. I know you're going to ask me. I'm not sure. I love knowing that. I know, I do too.
Anytime anybody ever goes, this person was number two.
Oh yeah, who was number one? Who was number one, goddammit?
It's always the first question.
Then McNeese State lets him do a pro day there where he works out for NFL scouts because
they want to see him again because they're still leery of him.
They want to make sure he's not going to take his dick out and ask one of them to look at
it and touch it.
This is Chicago, Green Bay, Kansas City, Miami, New York, Seattle, and Washington are all there scouting him. ask one of them to look at it and touch it uh this is uh team uh chicago green bay kansas city
miami new york seattle and washington are all big all their scouting them so a lot of teams there
uh scouting him is the agent is telling everyone he's a changed man uh they said that he's not the
person that the police police reports represented as a sexual predator and that's not him totally different uh he said he did a ton
of rehab and and that sort of thing and he said just after everything cecil just said uh he kind
of went crazy he doesn't know what he was doing but now he's focused i got it now he knows he see
he was in jail and that that woke him up so what you're saying is i can't do that okay don't do
no problem what he's saying is i'm good now right that's now it
wasn't good then but i'm good now everything is fine now uh they told me what i did was wrong so
you know i won't do that again that's i'm good now obviously uh now the league analysts here
draft analysts predicted him as the number four running back in the draft also they had uh they had ricky williams who's
coming off a heisman win yeah they had him edger and james kevin falk his teammate ex-teammate and
then him wow that's how he's drank like like mel kuypers you know whatever impressive he's the
number four running back uh his l his old coach at lsu said quote cecil is as good a pure tailback
as i've ever coached there might be better all-around backs.
I think Kevin Falk is better all-around, and Tony Dorsett was better all-around.
He's a fucking NFL Hall of Famer.
Of course he's better.
But as a pure runner, Cecil is as good as there is.
He's being compared favorably to Tony Dorsett, which is bonkers right there.
They're totally different runners, too.
Dorsett was a little guy.
He's tiny.
It's a weird comparison.
I met him. Yeah, we've told this. They stretched the shit out of that little guy yeah he's so small he's a little shit uh now uh his lsu running backs coach said quote cecil
will need will need help making the transition to the nfl whatever team takes him is going to
need a doctor or a counselor or a psychiatrist to work with him or it's going to need to surround him
with strong players otherwise you can count on this cecil is going to have problems so cecil's
coming out here his dick will be seen by many in the area they're comparing him a lot to lawrence
phillips because it's the same to very talented fucking head case problem legal problems they
asked collins about that they asked cecil
you know hey diesel what up with lawrence phillips right and he said quote man i ain't nothing like
that dude that's what he says i'm not going to talk about him because i i don't judge no man
but i'm not saying people are wrong to compare me to him but i'm not in that category not even close
so lawrence phillips yeah are you fucking kidding me? No. No, he was number two, episode two.
It took him 153 to get to me.
I'm shocked that that guy knows who that is.
Yeah, well, he was in the news a lot.
Yeah, but I met a dude that played with Lawrence Phillips.
That's right.
At the club.
And I told him, we covered Lawrence Phillips.
And he goes, oh, I played with him.
And I'm like, really?
And he goes, what's he up to now?
I'm like, are you serious?
Are you fucking serious?
Well, that's later. He might not have paid attention but this
is during this is 99 he's fucking dead bro no you don't know he died so uh cecil thinks that a
better comparison is randy moss who came out the year before and no one wanted he lasted all the
way to the 21st pick because of his issues and then he became rookie of the year
and was a huge force but he's also southern and he's yeah so he said uh that's more like a black
guy with a southern accent yeah you know you know west virginia fella you know that goes uh he said
quote yeah because he showed them that given a chance he could produce so he said he's like him
uh he said quote uh jesus
this is fucking amazing they're talking about uh randy moss and he says uh that the man made a
mistake everybody makes a mistake uh uh they they asked him on on something on they asked randy moss
they talked about that he talked about seeing randy moss and he's saying he wanted to come in
and rip the league apart but he he saw that Randy Moss said,
at first I have to prove to people I'm a good person.
So he said, that's what I'm following now.
I'm going to be a good person.
A lot of people aren't confident in him at all.
One of his old coaches said, quote, Cecil's a con artist.
There isn't any doubt.
Amazing.
But he was my guy the short time he was here, and I loved him.
The last thing he had to do before he left each day after practice was come and see me i tell him you've got to be good cecil and he'd sit in the
chair right there and say you don't have to worry about me hey coach i'm good right and he would
say he actually say i'm good awesome that's incredible i'm good right out of his own mouth
that's it man another college coach here said quote i think the
nfl is going to make a mistake by drafting him which is fucking hilarious he said cecil may turn
out to be all that he's capable of being as a football player but if i had to lay down a five
dollar bet i'd say they're making a big mistake so 99 nfl draft comes along this is april 17th uh 1999 in msg in new york city uh first guy picked is tim
tim couch oh huge draft bust oh god that was so sad very sad terrible and a lot of great guys in
the top 10 too yeah donovan mcnab number two who's damn good how about that damn good achille
smith number three who is even worse than tim couch i believe uh edger and james
four ricky williams five tory holt the wide receiver who's great champ bailey great fucking
great uh david boston who was great good until he started drinking chris mccallister dante culpepper
javon curse damian woody oh anton winfield this is a stacked first round. Al Wilson, the Broncos took in the last pick of the first round.
He was great.
Dre Bly.
A lot of good players coming up here in this draft.
Joey Porter, Marty Booker, Martin Gramatica.
A lot of NFL kind of stalwarts that were around.
Mainstays.
Mainstays.
And then the first pick of the fifth round is pick 134,
and the Miami Dolphins take Cecil.
Really?
They decide they're going to take a chance on Cecil.
This pick had been traded around for a while, too.
How about that?
It started out as a Browns pick,
and they traded it to the 49ers for Ty Detmer,
and then the 49ers traded it to the Dolphins,
and the Dolphins ended up with it.
So he's picked in the NFL.
Fifth round, but still.
Not bad.
That's still...
Is that the last round?
No, there's seven rounds.
Is there seven?
Seven.
Fifth round, they sign him to a three-year deal worth $900,000,
signing bonus of $110,000.
Are you telling me today Tom Brady doesn't even get drafted?
No, he was a...
He wasn't even the eighth? He was a sixth rounder, Tom Brady. I thought it't even get drafted no there's he was a he wasn't even the sixth rounder oh yeah i thought it was eighth no seven there's seven rounds there's been
seven rounds for a while now okay i think it was in the 80s they dropped who's in the eight that
ends up being great i don't know probably somebody in the 60s or 70s i'm sure because we've had guys
that were in the fucking 20th round yeah on the show from that back then yeah so we have it in
their own words here uh here about this whole
thing and and cecil and he's going to clear the air and you know what he's he's oh boy he feels
misrepresented and he needs to clear the air yeah so let's let him do it okay in their own words
quote i told every team the truth of what happened i looked them in the eye and i told them everything
i made mistakes i admit to that it's in the past i can't them everything. I made mistakes. I admit to that. It's in the past.
I can't dwell on the past.
I've got a third chance.
I know it's my last one.
It's a place nobody wants to be.
Talking about jail.
Being there, not able to go outside, being cooped up in there with some bad dudes.
It was scary.
Every night you don't know what can happen in there.
I prayed every night.
I prayed things would work out and I would get out of there healthy.
The day I got out of there, I vowed to changehuh that's that's an in their own words right there that's what in their own words was made for nobody will see this dick again was that i will keep my dick
in my pants unless asked to remove it then i will happily oblige because i am a gentleman yeah and
if a young lady has to see it i'm going to to show it to her. She deserves it. Because I do like it when they're looking at her.
So at this point, he lives with his girlfriend and his two-year-old daughter.
And he said he's not worried about, because they said, well, shit.
I mean, you were saying the celebrity in college was too much for you.
Now you're going to the NFL.
You're going to have money, too.
Oh, this is going to be nuts.
He said, no, no, that's not going to be nuts, Jimmy.
Think about it.
He's good now. He said, nah, no, that's not going to be nuts, Jimmy. Think about it. He's good now.
He said, nah, man, I've seen five fine women all my life, is what he said.
Of course, I break into their apartments and rub their faces.
I'm not worried about all that stuff.
I've got a family to worry about.
My daughter has influenced me the most.
I realized I was hurting her.
I had to get everything straightened out.
The time I was in jail, I got closer to God.
I learned this is what my life would be if I didn't get straight.
So now I'm good.
Okay.
Good now.
1999, Miami Dolphins.
Yeah.
Jimmy Johnson, head coach.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Those teams.
Nine and seven.
This is his record.
This is the end of Dan Marino's career.
They do go to the playoffs, and they win.
They beat the Seattle Seahawks 20-17 because they used to be in the AFC,
if you remember.
I know you do.
AFC West.
Then they lose a divisional round.
I remember watching this game 62-7 against the Jaguars.
62-7.
That is depressing.
They got shit hammered.
What year was this?
I remember 99.
I remember Dan Marino sitting there just like, what happened?
Jimmy Johnson just like, well, this ain't how it used to go.
I'm really sorry, Dan.
Fixing his hair going, I don't know what the fuck happened here, but shit.
We've got 67 points. We're doing great. That's not your score, coach. I look like Don Shula, don't know what the fuck happened here, but shit. We've got 67 points.
We're doing great.
That's not your score, coach.
I look like Don Shula, don't I?
That's not you, coach.
Damn.
Shit.
That's why everybody's so sad over here.
So that team, this is Dan Marino, Cecil Collins, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, the football version
if we remember him, O.J. McDuffie.
Scott Zolak backing up Marino.
Yeah, this is not a good thing here.
So this season, he ends up playing in eight games over the course of the season.
In one game against Philly, he actually has 26 carries for 97 yards.
So he carries the load.
He has 20 carries one game against New England. so they're giving him the ball a little bit after eight games uh he starts six games so they start
him even he has 131 rushes for 414 yards and two touchdowns uh that's uh you know not terrible 3.2
per carry which is not great that's not eight at all that's not 8. At all. That's not 8.3.
Yeah, and they play a game in Buffalo.
One game, they lose 23-3 in Buffalo.
He has four carries for zero yards that day and suffers a leg fracture.
Oh, no.
So, yeah, that's that.
Same leg?
Different leg, I think.
Oh, no.
He's got fragile legs somehow. They're big and thick and fragile. Right. This is a different injury, though, too. It's not the same leg a different leg i think so he's got fragile legs somehow they're big and thick and fragile right this is a different injury though too it's not the same bone it's not the
same injury it's a fracture i think it's a contact got it thing uh so now he's fucked and off and uh
done and by the way that's it for football done done that no there will there will be no more
sports at all not that there have there hasn't really been any anyway.
How depressing.
But he's done.
That's all he ever does.
He plays in eight NFL games, and he only played in fucking four college games.
So, I mean, honestly.
He's had 12 games of like.
Post high school.
Quote, unquote, professional football.
He did a big time football, whatever.
12 games.
12 games.
He only played 12 games more than me that's it in
college in the nfl he's you're almost there with him jimmy honestly neck and neck so this is but
he doesn't know this yet right now he's just injured yeah and uh you'd think he'd just rehab
and try to be back as quickly as possible and show that he's willing to work his ass off yeah
to stay on the fucking team and make nine hundred thousand dollars over three years which is more than he'll make doing anything else this guy could do.
Oh, boy.
Breaking into people's apartments and taking your dick out isn't a profession.
Yeah, it doesn't pay well at all.
It's a really low-paying job.
Risk to reward is crazy.
It's super high.
If you add in legal fees, forget about it.
So December 16th, 1999, this is a few weeks after his injury.
He's injured, just sitting out, whatever.
He ends up in the Palm Trace Landings, which is an apartment complex in Davie, Florida.
And well, let's just put it this way. Let's read from the police report here from Captain Ed Taylor of the Davie Police Department.
He said, quote, The couple was sleeping when Collins entered their bedroom. The couple quote the couple was sleeping when collins entered their
bedroom the couple the couple was sleeping when collins entered their bedroom they woke up and
confronted him and then the husband chased him from one room to another and he exited by jumping
out a window the same window he entered the residence and fled basically they were awakened
by an intruder yeah which is him yeah uh he is charged with burglary
and we'll find out what happened here because it's deeper than that this isn't random okay this is a
woman that he's been watching really oh yeah uh the husband's a guy named ronald nolte he's the
guy that confronted him in the uh there and asked him what are you doing in our apartment and uh
uh kyle he said cecil cause they knew him from the gym.
He said, Cecil, what are you doing in my apartment? And he said, that's not me.
No, I'm not Cecil.
He said, that's not me.
That's not me.
I'm not Cecil.
That's what he said to the guy.
He knows you.
You're in front of him.
You can't just say, oh no, I'm a different guy.
And they go, I guess so.
No, you know, people that you see all the time, you different guy and they go i guess so no you know people
that you see all the time you know if they're in your home you know who it is you can't just
unbelievable that's imagine doing that yeah someone you see in the gym all the time and
you run into them and you go hey bob they're like no i'm not bob like it's what are you
fucking talking about i saw you yesterday stupid it's Wow, you're wearing the same shirt I saw you at the gym in.
What the fuck are you doing?
Your shirt says crunch on it, sir.
I saw you there.
And Cecil above the left tit.
What's happening here?
Jesus Christ, man.
So he claims, not me.
Sorry.
Wow.
And this guy said, I was looking right at him.
And I know it was him.
And I told him I know it was him. Same voice. And he was like, I was looking right at him. And I know it was him. And I told him I know it was him.
Same voice.
And he was like, nope, not me.
So he said that Cecil just jumped out the window.
And then the husband here ran out on foot to chase him.
And then when he caught up to him, he said fucking he caught up to him, actually.
So Cecil.
Not so fast anymore.
Well, he's got a broken leg.
That's why.
So he's limping away after climbing out a window.
Now, if he was in top shape, the guy would have never caught him, obviously.
And if he would have, he would have bowled him over with a stiff arm.
But instead, he caught up to him and he grabbed him and said, I got you.
I know who you are and I got you.
And he's like, no, man, you don't know who I am.
Wouldn't he just ruin Cecil's life?
I'm not him. If you're not Cecil, wouldn't
you just be like, yeah, it's Cecil. Yeah, just tell him Cecil said sorry and then fucking run
away. You're right. It's Cecil. That's what you want. You want someone to mistakenly identify you
in the middle of a burglary, positively identify the wrong person. So, man, this the uh the woman here tina his wife tina nolte said she was so traumatized
by this guy being in her apartment that she couldn't even dial 9-1-1 she said she was just
frozen i have dreams about that all the time it's scary dead frozen being like how do i dial it i
can't get the thing and my fingers are too fat i can't get my code into my cell phone my thumbprint
won't work that scares the shit out of me.
That's the worst.
She said, quote, you think in that situation you'll grab the phone and you'll dial 911,
but I couldn't do it.
I was shaking so bad.
That's exactly what it was.
Now, Jesus Christ.
Later on, his lawyer will ask and will offer an explanation for this and ask the woman
why she didn't call the police.
He'll say, quote,
wasn't she afraid you were going to find out
that she had an affair with Cecil Collins?
The lawyer is trying,
his lawyer tries to say this whole thing
has nothing to do with breaking and entering.
Cecil's been having an affair with this woman.
Oh, boy.
And then the husband fucking,
the husband found out. He wasn't supposed to be there. Yeah, basically they're trying to say, look, he was fucking this woman and then the husband fucking what the husband found out to be there and he yeah
basically they're trying to say look he was fucking this woman and then the husband came home
and then the husband they called it a burglary because you know it looks better for them oh boy
no they were sleeping and he broke into their house heard the biggie song yeah exactly yeah
exactly what they were doing he's like
that's the thing it is.
That's it.
Broke the bitch up right after...
Tied her up with the pillowcase.
Sorry, I'm laughing too hard.
That's amazing.
Okay, so...
Yeah, he says...
The husband says,
no, that's not true
and she says that's not true.
He was being held
in the Broward County Jail
on $10,000 bond on two counts of burglary. true and she says that's not true uh he was being held in the broward county jail on ten thousand
dollars bar bond on two counts of burglary may also face a count of stalking uh the police said
that he had been following this woman she had identified him as been following her recently
and then he shows up in her bedroom this is some dead serious shit this is sick shit yeah uh the
attorney the you know deputy whatever the prosecutor said quote the this woman was very upset well no shit apparently he has been following the
woman for some time and trying to make her acquaintance and it ended up ended with him
breaking into her residence so he was trying to come on and we're all the time and she wasn't
having it so yeah you can't do that uh jimmy johnson silver-haired middle-aged as they come
he is king silver-haired middle-aged as they come he is king silver-haired middle-aged
white man the shit that he pushed aside at the university of miami and in dallas oh in dallas
fuck he could be the silverest of the silver might be we have a scummy award nominee here
uh he says quote i'm very disappointed in cecil's actions uh we we don't know all the details yet
and i hope these allegations aren't true however he will be
suspended until we find out more information indefinitely yeah they said that he johnson
also said he's been undergoing regular counseling since he joined the dolphins and i thought he was
making progress he said i want to make it clear that the dolphin organization in no way condones
the behavior that was reported to us until we get all the facts would be premature to speculate on what further action could be taken who knows now while he is in custody he he he
cracks and he admits to doing it this time he doesn't say he was sleepwalking what oh boy he
said he broke into the home of a woman that he knew was married he said he knew her from the gym
and uh his intentions were not bad though
he said he wasn't going to rape her he wasn't going to steal anything he only will jesus this
is creepy this is worse than i wanted to rape her i feel like obviously it's not but it sounds worse
quote i only wanted to watch her sleep no that is the creepiest fucking thing i've ever heard in my life i mean the the
i understand if he was at least like i really was just gonna rest my dick on her face and
hope it went in her mouth like i at least can like put into his mind like you can see a benefit
you can see if dick is in mouth feels good right dick in mouth feels good and then he would go i
put dick in mouth and then that's how it works it's just a an instinct but this is this is creepy
as i don't know what the fuck benefit you get out of that yeah unless unless creepy unless i mean
because if there's the creepy sleeper yeah crime implicates or implies that there is some sort of uh goddamn benefit for somebody yeah
in one way or another it's just gonna look at her and then leave how long is he gonna watch her for
generally uh the benefit is sexual yeah does that mean he just wanted to watch her sleep while he
tugged i don't know well maybe it was like the other one where he just sat down on the couch
just probably the same thing to rub a face and then he wanted to be like hey baby and then
that's his come on it's so gross break into a house uh the prosecutor in
court played the tape in which where he made the statement that he entered the apartment through a
side window he fled when the husband confronted him and said quote i just wanted to go look at
her jesus fucking christ boy uh december 29th a couple weeks later, 1999, the Davie Police Department said they're investigating two more incidents in which he allegedly harassed and stalked women.
He is awaiting extradition to Louisiana for the probation violation for this whole thing as well.
They said the Davie Police Captain said, quote, we're not going to go into details about these incidents.
Mr. Collins is under investigation by our department, and that's all we're going to say.
Apparently, the new case is that he might have victimized other female residents at the same apartment complex.
By the way, he lives there, too.
So both places he's done this at are places he lives.
Is it a good assumption that he's not with baby mama anymore no he's
with her still what was still fucking with her what is going on i don't know he was breaking
into it's fucking crazy how much looking at his dick is she not doing that's it then where does
she not go hey where's cecil at three in the morning he's out somewhere i don't know what
the fuck he took his jimmy and tools with him that's weird uh this was a woman named miriam
dan and uh dan danow who was 25 and
she had two kids and lived with the kids at the complex she filed a complaint with the office
manager complaining that collins quote came on to her at the complex's pool then pulled down his
swim trunks and exposed himself to her within view of two teenage girls what the fuck uh yes so uh he came on and then whipped
his dick out at the complex pool in front of teenagers he's gonna hurt somebody you think
jesus christ well we'll find out uh miriam dan and dow's claim is real close to other shit that
he's doing it's it's all very creepy uh jesus christ man uh she uh man so they're talking about returning him to he's
charged with burglary from the first thing and they're working out what charges he could have
out of exposing himself if he's returned to louisiana or he's wanted on the probation violation
there he could serve a four-year sentence that he got there uh but the the uh the his lawyer said quote i want to keep him here
or i'm the i'm sorry the prosecutor in florida said i want to keep him here where he can get
some serious time that's what he said okay uh but the other side his defense attorney cecil's
attorneys are also trying to keep it in florida they're fighting extradition they wanted in
florida also because his attorney says and i quote, this is the silverest thing ever.
I have to write this man's name down because he will.
He's going to win a scummy award.
This guy, Haddad, is his name.
H-A-D-D-A-D.
He says, quote, I haven't lost a case yet where I defended a Miami dolphin.
So I'm anxious to take this one to court right here in Florida.
He literally said, you can't convict a Dolphin in Miami.
Fuck that.
Unbelievable.
How silver is that goddamn statement?
Also, how ballsy to say that shit to the media.
That's how silver they are.
They don't give, they're like, that's how brazen we can be.
My Christ.
Fuck you.
So now he is
fucked he's sitting in court there's all sorts of allegations all sorts of shit he has like
teammates that are calling him like old people he knows trying to you know people try to like
be supportive and they don't know if it's true a lot of people like old coaches that like
liked him you know junior high coaches. Terry. Terry Berry
or Teddy Berry.
Yeah.
Is that his name?
Terry Berry.
Terry Betty
or Teddy Berry.
I don't know.
Teddy.
Teddy Berry.
All these people
are calling him.
People are like,
you know,
things of support.
He actually gets
one job offer.
It's fucking crazy
because his coaches
are around
and his coaches
were there
and then one day
he thought he was meeting one of his coaches in the visiting room.
And it wasn't his coach.
It was Vince McMahon, the CEO of the WWE.
And he says.
How is it you've come to arrive here?
What the hell is wrong with you?
I could have done so much with you.
Are you kidding me?
Look at you.
God damn it.
What's wrong with you?
The sleeper creeper.
You could have been the biggest star I have.
You could have just...
We'll introduce the first guy.
We'll wait.
You don't come out when they introduce you.
He eventually gets tired and he goes to sleep in the ring. then you creep up next to him you creep in there you're creeping you take
your shirt off take that shirt off and show me some of that diesel come on let me see it poof
in a poof of steroids and turnbuckles and he's gone and legal bills and and cecil's like can i get that
where's the contract i'll sign it right now is it not it's not incentive laden i'll take it i'll
take it take that shirt off let me see some of that diesel so that's ridiculous i'm assuming
cecil's a black guy he could be a black hillbilly
you're gonna be a black hillbilly
that creeps up on people
when they're sleeping
you're from hillbilly Louisiana
forget it
never mind Louisiana
you're from hillbilliesville Louisiana
you've never
a shirt has never touched your back
you've never seen a shirt Matthew McCona your back. You've never seen a shirt.
Matthew McConaughey's worn more shirts than you.
More shirts in movies than you have in your entire life.
Jesus fucking Christ.
The sleeper creeper.
The sleeper creeper.
On all fours coming in.
Creeping in.
He's got a mic in his hand.
He's like, shh.
I'm just watching him sleep.
And then he wakes him up by going, hey, baby.
And then he gets him in a submission hold.
And they're like, what the fuck?
What's happening?
The first time a dick comes out on WWE.
He's got me in an arm bar.
Yeah.
You can take your dick out and you can just slide into the ring.
His new move, his finishing move is look at it.
Look at it.
Look at it.
That's what he says in interviews.
You tell everybody, you say, I'm going to get you in this ring.
I'm going to beat you one, two, three.
I'm going to take the belt.
Then you're going to look at it.
You're going to look at it, pal.
Let me tell you something.
And it's left up to the audience
to understand what it is.
Did he mean the belt, or did
he mean what's below the belt?
Look at it.
I guess so, sure.
Whatever, coach.
That's a great wrestling gimmick.
Whatever you say, coach. Sure.
I guess.
Why not? Fuck it. That's better than any wrestling gimmick whatever you say coach sure i guess why not fuck it that's better than any wrestling gimmick they got that's pretty good yeah that's a pretty good one i just think i just
come up with something i'm not available to be a writer sorry but uh you can use that guys you
want to use the creeper sleeper jesus you can use it we'll put it that way it's yours it's all yours but they give us a plug somewhere maybe i called him ed i meant vince yeah ed ed who the fuck is ed mcmahon
vince and ed and flippers adult i'm really starting to see how your brain works. It's amazing. It's very...
Your cylinders fire right across.
You know those things when you're a kid where they teach you in school, there's like A, B, C, D, E, F, G, and then 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 10, and it's like, you know, this person and this action, and you just drew straight across from one to the other.
Bob, well, he must have been the one that took his car to the thing.
Holy shit.
Oh, man.
So that's awesome.
So 2001 here, he ends up having to plead guilty to this shit in Florida. So 2001, March 27th is sentencing here.
Now, they convict him.
The jury convicts him here of this.
And then two hours later, they do sentencing.
Right now.
Right now.
Which is weird because normally you present a case of mitigation.
But here, you got two hours to prepare that shit, which is crazy.
Florida's scary.
I would say so.
They probably do that in death penalty cases.
All right, put your shit together.
We're sending you to the chair in about four hours, so you better have a defense.
Did the lawyer stand up and go, he's a fucking dolphin.
Didn't you hear my interview?
I was on the news saying that shit.
The defense lawyer said that he tried to convince the jury in closing arguments that Cecil and the Tina Nolte were lovers and that Nolte lied about it to save her marriage.
That's a bad case.
Yeah, but they thought that was bullshit.
And then the couple during sentencing, the penalty phase, your victims get to speak,
and the couple there, the Nolte's, get to speak.
Tina said, quote, in the community where I live and where I work and where my family lives,
I had to see myself smeared on the radio and
in the media uh and by the lawyers portrayed as a woman who would cheat on her husband which yeah
that's they they were shitty that was a really shitty thing to do um he uh and you know the he
the husband talked about how he had to get out of bed to defend you know his wife from a fucking
intruder this is all scary for normal people to think about that and then uh he pointed to collins and his two defense lawyers and said i don't know how to
defend her from people like you and you and you even included the fucking lawyers burner it's like
yeah get them yeah good for you nick nolte you guys suck as much as he does yeah exactly you're
you're trying to make it so we can do this more right uh so after the jury delivered the
verdict tina nolte did say she felt vindicated she said you can't believe the pain and suffering
this has caused my family now in the closing argument for the sentencing here the prosecutor
pointed out that collins had uh collins had told the jurors that uh basically that they said he had
no bad intentions or anything like that but they they said, what intentions did he have then?
So the prosecutor said, quote, he wasn't there to steal a VCR or money.
He was there to steal Tina Nolte's dignity and humanity.
You, sir, may fuck off 15 years in prison.
Whoa.
He got 15 for that shit.
I mean, the track record shows that this is a common thing
this happened once you'd be like jesus he didn't hurt anybody but that's still creepy but right 15
fuck yeah this was just shy of keith wright that's the next step remember keith wright i don't know
if you guys remember it was like episode 20 something probably maybe 19 keith wright was an
nfl kind of washout played for a bunch of training camps and everything
and he broke into women's houses and and assaulted them sexually assault and it was just like this he
he's escalating to it he escalated to that and this guy did the same thing now imagine the balls
he did it with someone else there imagine if that guy's not there though who knows what's gonna
happen his dick is coming out oh it's it's out. Daring fucking teed.
So the sentence was for felony burglary.
It is the maximum under Florida law.
The judge, Joyce Julin, told Cecil that he got the maximum because of his earlier conviction in Louisiana for the exact same shit.
You got it.
Clearly, that's your thing.
He apparently, they handcuffed him and took him away after that.
Once he's in prison for a few months, he has another daughter.
His daughter's born while he's in prison.
Oh, my God.
So that's great.
That's just great.
Oh, Jesus.
So that's the answer to your question.
I didn't want to say it, but his girlfriend was pregnant at the time.
That's why he's going out creeping, because he's got a pregnant girlfriend. So you want to go out and creep and climb in people's windows.
Oh, Jesus.
What the fuck man um so he uh he afterwards though he ends up the conviction gets the sentence gets set aside
by an appeals court because he was sentenced he gets a new sentencing hearing because he was
sentenced less than two hours after the conviction like we talked about about. And they call that unconstitutional or something?
Well, yeah, they said that they wanted to fly his parents in to be mitigating witnesses.
They wanted to show that he wasn't just some monster creeping through the window.
Well, he is.
He is.
But you try to show, look, he's a human being whose mother loves him and stuff like that,
and that might soften it from 15 to 10.
I mean, that could be worth a couple of years.
You never know.
He's friends, whatever.
They didn't give him any time to present a case right which you should you got to give him a time
to present the case and do it as fair as possible so then when you send them away it's it's for good
it's good and it's justified and everything it's gonna hang no one feels bad i don't want to
fucking i don't want anybody going away on on shit terms i want everybody going away fairly
if they have a fair trial because that's in the goddamn Constitution, too. Everybody needs to have fair shit.
The new hearing gets in the same exact sentence.
Really?
Yep, same shit.
They said, yeah, it doesn't matter.
Yeah, your mom's nice and all, but you still are a creepy fucking, you're the creepy sleeper.
We're sorry.
We've seen you on TV.
You have me on a plane now?
Yeah.
Was that worth the airfare?
No?
How were the peanuts?
And you flew southwest, didn't you flew southwest didn't you didn't
even have a fucking seat yeah enjoy that fucking bus with a goddamn jet engine propulsion yuck
awful the worst the fucking the worst i will not fly southwest anymore everybody line up nope i
will i will fucking ride there like dumb and dumber on a fucking moped with you on my back to get to shows before I'll take Southwest.
Just go.
I don't care.
It's better than Southwest.
Be on my back.
It's still better than sitting on a Southwest flight.
Still more to have Jimmy piss on my back as we fly through Middle America is more dignity than being fucking lined up and hitting the head with snack baskets as they go by on a fucking Southwest flight.
It is brutal.
Fuck you.
I would rather, I've said this many times,
I would rather be shot out of a cannon in the general direction of the city in which I'd like to end up
than fly in a fucking Southwest flight.
That's so terrible.
I don't care.
So, wow.
Anyway.
Fix your fucking airline.
Make people have a seat.
Just do that.
Give us a fucking seat fucking seat pieces of shit
take three rows out of there and widen that shit too because you can cram them in yeah there's too
many people it's not it's not it doesn't seem safe it doesn't seem safe that they come and the planes
seem like they're from 1984 right and then they come by with a fucking snack basket that's supposed
to fucking make it all okay no it's not okay take your snack basket shove it up your goddamn ass the last time i was on a fucking southwest flight was last tour did a cheap
flight home from dallas and i was like how bad could it be it's only a couple of fucking hours
it's fine it wasn't fine cram myself into someone bigger than me next to me taller he's got his
fucking leg leaning on me i finally fall asleep i hadn't slept all fucking weekend fall asleep for
five minutes and this fucking goddamn lady hits me in the fucking head with the pretzel basket hits me in the head with the
pretzel basket as it walks by i actually said what the fuck and no one even turned around because
it's southwest it doesn't matter and they expect you to behave like that like animals i feel like
i could have thrown poop and no one would even even looked at me. They would have been like, well, it's more poop throwing.
That's Southwest.
I had a lady sit on my thigh for four hours.
And when we got where we went, my fucking leg was soaked because of ass sweats all over me.
Jesus Christ.
Fuck.
I hope you paid extra to upgrade to the group that gets to stand in line slightly before the other group that has to stand in line.
And that's the crazy part.
Everybody's an early bird. Fucking idiots. So you check check in early bird you're still in group c yeah or there's still 60 people in front of me i paid 50 so i can sit in row 42 that's wonderful so he's in jail in
august 2002 cecil is uh not a southwest employee who fucking deserves it. And he says, he's kind of waxing a little bit about what could have been.
And he says, quote, this is August 2002.
I would have been into my second contract by now, making big money, millions.
I'd be taking care of my family, have been all pro, I'm sure,
and fulfilled all the promise that everyone saw.
It's August.
I feel like I should be in training camp.
But he's in prison, actually.
He really listened to Master P.
He listened well, yeah, to the wrong songs, unfortunately, the ones that talked about prison.
He told him all the things that he would be doing, and he's very optimistic about what he would have done if he would have kept it all together.
I'd probably be the best player ever.
I'd be Walter Payton, and people would be saying Jim Brown was a piece of shit because of me, but I get it.
So he said, I had made it right to where I wanted to make it, the NFL with the Dolphins.
Then I fell.
But just because I fell doesn't mean I can't get on my feet again.
A lot of people expect me to be down, but I'm doing fine.
I found the Lord.
Oh, no.
I'm not a real big Christian.
What is it?
I never heard this before.
I found the Lord, so I'm good.
I mean, I'm not real into it, but I've heard of him now.
But I know the Lord wanted me to lay down here for a while and get my head straight.
So in 2007, he gets married in prison to a new woman who he met in 2006.
He gets married to a woman named Elena.
He met while she was visiting another inmate.
What?
So he stole some other inmate's girlfriend.
He's Mr. C-Block Steal Your Girl?
Yeah, he's the creepy sleeper. She probably dozed off for five seconds.
Next thing you know, his dick was in her hand,
and she's like, I guess we're together now.
That's prison.
The first dick you see is yours.
Yeah, that's it.
She was in prison, technically,
so she falls under prison rules. Is that you're saying i guess you're on premises
sorry uh now uh he says uh uh he's gonna be he wants to get out of prison so he can be a family
man and be with this woman he even says that he's a different man from cecil the diesel uh he said
he used to view himself as a superstar who can do no wrong, but now he's not going to be the Diesel anymore.
That was what he said.
Quote, I think the Diesel is the guy that got me in trouble.
The Diesel ran in clubs, ran with the wrong people.
The Diesel didn't know how to handle all the money or celebrity coming in.
At that point, I started to find out who Cecil really was.
And what I found is that Cecil's a good guy.
So he's saying Ceccil's a good guy no
no uh all those things are not what landed you in prison i mean the the clubs the staying out
left that's not what not handling your your celebrity you can do all of that you're allowed
to go out to clubs and party that's not illegal you're not allowed to go into people's houses
and pull your dick out or even just stare at them sleeping.
That's bad, too.
It's weird.
If you would have been at the club drinking, the weird thing is, why can't he just go to the club and drink at night, and then he'd be a fucking nice guy?
These are all at his apartment complex.
This fucking guy goes home at the end of the night, and then he gets into trouble.
He needs to go out to the club and drink with the rest of the guys.
Stay out.
Jesus.
Don't go home.
You get in trouble when you're there. out till four in the morning and then shit face
you get in your car and you figure out a way to get home that's how you do it come on guy that's
how you keep yourself in line which honestly that was much less if you would have got busted for a
dui instead of fucking creepy sleeping right way less bad yeah at that point you're on the other side of the bars yeah
exactly uh so 2011 while in prison he has a ruptured esophagus from a chicken bone and
almost dies oh my god i've never heard of this before a ruptured esophagus from a chicken bone
eating the bone i assume it's probably prison food it might have been like a mess something
that had a bone that wasn't supposed to be there chicken nuggets with a bone in it yeah that's what
i mean who knows what it was uh either way uh chicken bone he ate ruptured his esophagus and
he nearly fucking dies wow so now he's in prison and he was he was in articles being like yeah you
know i was real sick and now i've been in prison for a long time and he's really trying to make
people feel sorry for him he starts really laying on the thick of the you know hey you know i was real sick and now i've been in prison for a long time and he's really trying to make people feel sorry for him he starts really laying on the thick of the you know hey you know
i didn't even hurt anybody really and i've been in here for a long time and you know my throat's
fucked up now with that chicken bone i'm married i found a nice woman i want to be a family man
i found the lord not a big christian but i found the lord you know it's all good and meanwhile his kids
haven't seen him fucking forever yeah all the what about his dad his dad was like a upstanding guy
was a staff sergeant in the military his this guy sees scum every day of his fucking life in prison
not even he sees people that are criminally insane the scariest scary people he's got to think my
son's in a place like this i feel bad for all
these people jimmy i really do yeah but not nearly as bad as so many so many and they're great as i
feel for cecil collins industrial engineer at huntington ingalls industries in the uh gulf
coast biloxi area in mississippi uh cecil coll. Cecil Collins, a firefighter in Philadelphia.
Oh, poor fellow.
City firefighter in Philadelphia.
That's a super Irish man, though.
I almost guarantee.
Oh, you know he is.
He's hammering.
He's like, ah, that's right, you son of a bitch.
In Philly?
Yeah.
Jesus.
He throws things at people at Eagles games, I feel like.
He throws nachos at people.
He would have drilled our Cecil with a battery.
Oh, yeah, he would have.
Yeah, you fucking bum.
Look at you.
Look at you, you bastard. The one game is where he had 97 yards was against philly oh no shit that cecil probably pelted him with a d cell that day you never know uh cecil andrew
collins the third founder and managing partner of uh of of this insurance company that he runs
it's cecil collins and associates when they do insurance
and rich risk management and he seems like a really intelligent uh smart educated man
who is professional he analyzes risk management and he didn't realize that putting the name of
a fucking sexual predator a little risky
as risky as it gets hey guys this is risky from a marketing standpoint.
Cecil Andrew?
No?
I'm proud of my name, damn it.
Anyone at Cecil Collins Elementary School.
Oh, my God.
What?
No way.
I swear to God, this is the one that made me go crazy.
I'm like, Cecil Collins Elementary School?
They've got a school.
In Barngat, New Jersey.
It has 419 kids in it, and it ranks as the 591st best elementary school in New Jersey.
Holy shit.
Which is perfectly aptly named then.
It's not even in the top 500 of elementary schools.
There's only 592 there yeah and finally way by far the worst possible cecil collins obgyn no way fuck yeah sumter south carolina now the only thing
is he only examines you while you're sleeping that's the only time he'll do it so you make
you just say i need an examination he says i'll be there at some time and then you sleep and when you wake up in the morning you're
like i think i feel like i've been examined you go into the office you fall asleep and then he
wakes you up and goes all done baby all done that poor bastard what the fuck you imagine hearing
the story and then being like i'm not going to guy. Jesus. How does that guy go all the way through school and be like, I'm a giner doctor.
That's my thing.
That's what it is.
And then he sees on the news a predator with the same name.
That is disturbing.
I'm never going to get clients.
Fuck.
Oh, my God.
Fuck.
What are the chances?
He just wanted to watch her sleep come on he didn't
touch her i don't know give him a break wow now uh 2012 comes around and now he really wants out
of jail in 2010 he filed this speedy trial petition to try to get basically he's trying
to get it so because he still has lou hanging over his head, the probation violation there.
So he's trying to push himself out of Florida, saying that I have a right to a speedy trial in Louisiana.
And as long as you're holding me here, I can't have that.
So you got to release me so I can go there and get that over with.
Don't worry, you'll get it.
They say, no, that's not how that shit works.
But they're talking to him in 2012.
And they said, you know know do you regret your life and
all that and he said quote i have no regrets no grudges none of that i think regrets he should
probably have take that one right you can say no grudges but not no regrets uh no regrets no
grudges none of that what happened to me in the say at in that time saved my life i believe if i
was out there with that mindset i'd be dead or my life would
be totally in shambles it made me grow so much and showed me how to be a man and to live and to
walk in life these 15 years they gave me it seemed bad at first but i met the most beautiful woman in
the world in prison i found god in prison i've come out of it much better than when i came in no
uh no i broke into houses and that's the best thing I ever did.
Well, he's saying, I guess he might be saying someone probably would have shot me in the
fucking face if I kept breaking into houses in Florida.
I would have raped and then I'd be in here forever.
Then I'd be in here forever.
Well, actually, if you raped, you'd probably got less time than 15 fucking years.
If we're being honest.
That's a good point.
That's, you know, Christ.
He also said, quote, my grandmother died.
And then my cousin, who was like a brother to me, died in a motorcycle accident.
When I first read that, I was like, his grandmother died in a motorcycle accident.
How many grandmothers die?
Damn weird.
But no, he said, I was close with God before that.
But that final year, this last year has been important for me to pull even closer.
So now he's he's good.
Man of God.
Jesus Christ.
2013, released from prison in Florida.
But he's then brought back to Baton Rouge,
where he's found guilty,
where he's found in violation of his probation from 1999.
So, yeah, this guy, he faces up to five more years in prison.
That's the sentence there.
But the Louisiana State District judge here rejects a prosecution request to revoke probation
and instead sets a $25,000 bond and says that he must stay in Louisiana during the appeals process.
So at this time, by the way, right around around this time there's an lsu player named
jeremy hill a sophomore running back familiar uh who is in trouble for battery at this time
the judge in his case says to jeremy hill quote this is fucking amazing i love this he says quote
collins was the best running back in the history of lsu he was also the dumbest you have a chance to be the greatest but you're
going down the wrong road oh boy so a judge he was legally decreed in court quote the dumbest
wait he wears my gavel you sir are the dumbest and that's legal you're the dumbest that is awesome
that's fucking amazing you are he gets a certificate for that the illegal the dumbest yeah there i am uh so uh out of jail uh he ends up being out of jail
and he says quote i've been up and down and i've been way way way down he says uh he says but now
i'm up for good once he gets released from jail he says life is great now life isn't hard like
it used to be even the air tastes good
to me now yeah he says that people will recognize him sometimes and yell out cecil the diesel and
he says he asked them in a friendly tone to please not call him that yeah he says that person doesn't
exist anymore the diesel is dead i'm just cecil collins now and i'm happy like this he says i'm
happy not being in prison log up up tight, Louisiana. Yeah.
Jesus.
He says, quote, he says when he got out of jail, July of 2013, they had a small party.
They had steak and potatoes and asparagus.
And he said he he said, though, he felt like fucking Tom Hanks and cast away because he's
just been out of society and didn't know anything.
I didn't have an email account. Didn't have a cell phone.
He didn't know that cell phones were computers.
He didn't get the internet part.
No, smartphones and shit like that on computers.
Typing in number codes.
Yeah.
Trying to page folks.
That's exactly what it was.
He also says that he didn't know that TVs were flat now.
Flat screen TVs. You don't know that TVs were flat now. Flat screen TVs.
You don't have those in prison, probably.
Also, cars that are new and shitty.
He was like, Jesus, this is GPS and cars.
20 years, yeah.
That's a long 15 years, especially from 2000 to basically.
Oh, it's a big difference.
That's the society completely changed.
You'd be an alien if you missed those years.
He says, quote, his wife here elena says remember what you wanted when you got out and he said i wanted
a beeper yeah in 2013 and she said i told him no one has those anymore you'll be the only person
communicating yeah you did no one it'll be a one-way conversation like if you look at the
evolution of cars like you yeah you can see how they can change.
If you just look at a 2000 Dodge versus, like, a 2018 Dodge,
you're like, how did we get from there to there?
And in 2000, if you looked at an 85, you'd be like,
what a piece of shit, this thing's amazing.
And now it's like, what a piece of shit, this thing's amazing.
They're like kids looking at Jordan's shoes going, what are those?
Oh, man, those are crazy.
So he says that he plans to start school to become a licensed electrician.
Elena and he were planning a wedding ceremony where he says he'll wear a tuxedo and everything,
and they're going to maybe have on the beach a proper ceremony.
He says also, kind of half-assed, he says that maybe he can even play a little football at his age.
He said the Canadian Football League invited him for a tryout.
They will take anybody.
Whoa.
Do they literally just look through fucking, like, they don't even look at scouting reports.
They just look through prison Facebooks, and they're like, oh, hey, they got down in Florida.
They got a pretty good felon down there we could grab.
What the fuck are they doing in Canada?
How nice is Canada?
He hasn't even played in
15 years. That's how nice they are.
They're like, you were in prison for 15 years?
We'll give you a job. I'll tell you, why don't you come up
and give it a shot at least, eh?
Christ. He says, quote,
I've still got the speed,
but he says he doesn't know if he could take a hit.
He says, that's the question. I don't know if I could
do that anymore. Because he's, you know, like 37 years old.
He's 40.
Yeah, you can't take hits.
A man's not 40, you know.
In your 30s.
You're not even used to it anymore.
No.
So October 2015, the probation violation, they ended up giving him more probation.
Okay.
Rather than putting him in jail.
They basically said he did 13 years. The judge said that's what they rather than putting him in jail they said they basically said he did 13 years the judge said that's enough so uh he's trying to get early uh end of his
probation in 2015 october uh so he goes to court for that and he is denied early exit from probation
but they do give him uh he'll no longer be supervised. Oh, so. Yeah.
And his probation will expire 18 months later from October of 2015.
They said that he's been out of jail for two years.
He's employed.
He lives in Florida.
He's out of state.
He's married with a son because he has another kid after he got out of jail.
You know, they said he's his lawyer said Mr.
Collins has adjusted to life outside of prison
he has not asked anyone to look at his penis in a long time
wow uh they also noted that he went to school two nights a week and has no new arrests or
positive drug tests while on supervised probation so he has kept his nose clean
uh so they said that they reduce it to unsupervised.
And the judge said that he hopes the next time that they'll terminate the probation early.
His lawyer said, quote, he's done everything he's supposed to do.
So, yeah, they said unsupervised probation will make his life a lot easier and he will no longer have to report to a probation officer.
Since then, he has worked with LSUsu lsu has brought him in to like
talk to recruits and shit yeah so he's been on campus talking to young people so live in the
happy lock your windows that's all i gotta say everybody lock your fucking windows wow and uh
be careful but he's out there we don't know where what he's doing but he's out there talking to
recruits like giving them the rundown of how it can all go wrong i guess yeah that's what it is and like and also
i was a great look how great i was i had 232 yards against auburn but i just needed them to look at
it fucked it up they just sometimes sometimes guys just it's okay if they don't want to look at it
that's all i'm going to tell you guys that's thank you good night and he leaves that's his part of
the day uh can't get enough of Cecil Collins.
I bet you want to have enough.
There's a few girls that have had plenty.
Plenty.
The creepy sleigh chair.
You can get his wrestling figure.
No, I'm just kidding.
They have sportsmemorabilia.com
has a bunch of autographed Cecil Collins pictures.
There's a bunch of cards and shit but these are
the autographed pictures of him on the dolphins uh the cheapest one i found was 21.99 so 21.99
that's a lot for for this fucking idiot so cecil collins that is cecil collins the creepy sleeper
himself uh wow what the shit i don't i don't even know what to say out there he's out there hanging out oh yeah oh so
easily the urge to want someone to touch it yeah it never goes away no i feel like well it's one
of those like sexual predator things like oh man i don't know you know what though it's not really a
sexual it's just being a dude like you always want somebody to touch it but i just don't want
anybody to see it that's yeah you want somebody to touch it but you don't want to make them touch it and you
don't want to break into anywhere and yeah what he did was not just being a dude yeah uh wanting
someone to touch it as being a dude yeah but the the lengths he went to to achieve this goal too
much is not being a dude and and today's society uh you can't even tell somebody that you would
enjoy it if they would touch it you can't do that anymore you have to wait for them to say can i touch it and then you can say yes can i take it
out now would you like to look at it and then yes would you like to you're gonna have to see it too
which is probably better than someone just taking it out and putting it on you like he did yeah i
think we're maybe evolving to a better place ten times out of ten yeah it's much better so yeah
this this guy this was a fucking that's too much
it's very creepy and the thing too is like he was like a star yeah go to a frat party when you're in
college and fucking meet some chick and they would happily look at your dick and touch it and whatever
who cares buy a girl a couple of drinks yeah that's what i mean date like a normal person how
about that she'll probably give her a couple of dates and she'll probably ask for it.
I was going to say, here's what you do.
If you're real, real nice to a woman and you go out with them and you do things and you
get them to like you and stuff, they want to touch it and look at it.
That's the thing.
At that point, then you're gold.
So that's all you have to do.
You were nice to me.
I'm going to do you a favor.
So yeah, just get to the point where they ask you to look at it rather than just whipping
it out.
So that's Cecil Collins.
Cecil the Diesel Collins.
And that is this week's Crime and Sports.
Fucking crazy episode.
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this week's executive producers are jessica monroe uh kelsey allen shauna rogers cindy no it's sydney
damn it sydney woods she donated twice thank you on both patreon and then on paypal thank you sydney
not sydney sydney woods she's fantastic justin miller uh stephanie valentine and heather norton
thank you guys so much thank much for what you do.
We can't do it without you.
No, you guys are the best.
Georgina.
Let's start that over.
Georgina.
Hello.
Georgina.
Georgina.
Georgina Warden or Worden.
It's W-O-R.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
God damn it.
Yeah, that's tough.
You get it though.
Yeah, you get it.
Was that Rhodes?
Is that Rhodes? No. Gina Warden Rhodes. That's who it is. Holy shit. Yeah, that's a tough one. You get it, though. Yeah, you get it. Was that Rhodes? Is that Rhodes?
No.
Gina Worden Rhodes.
That's who it is.
Holy shit.
That's what I did.
Wow.
All right.
And Candace with no last name, because I was like, Rhodes Candace?
Is that right?
Candace Rhodes?
That's what happened.
Mixed up the first person.
There it is.
That happens.
All right.
Joey Conway.
Jeanette Keel.
Amanda Burrigan.
Rashika Valoo.
Mike Uelk. U-elk? U-elk. Yeah. U-elk. U-elk. Mike Uelk. amanda burrigan uh rashika velu uh mike yulke you will you will you will yeah
mike yulke good job mike thank you mike we're sorry to mock your name joel hotter uh flo
gaitan i looked at that one for a minute like is this like words that i'm supposed to like
try to find a joke yeah is there a pun in there no it's just flo guy tom thank you thank you flo uh louisa williams callie callie um callie callie shinkunas that's the one i nailed it
nice job times the time thank you uh andrea papa george uh hunter perry kayley casey huffman uh
natalie uh natalie's the note okay hold on natalie's a note Okay. Hold on. Natalie Zinoviev.
That's what it is.
There we go.
Thomas Smith, Janice Hill, Alexandria Rowland, Reagan Schalke, Thomas Smith.
I said that.
Samantha with no last name.
Brendan Ables.
Andrew Weigand is back, or Weigand.
I know I'm pronouncing that wrong.
I'm doing my best.
Susan Brandt, Adrian Thomas, who donated under Censorship Works, which is hysterical, but also her husband got a new job, so congratulations.
Hey, congrats. Thank you. Eamon Clements, Aaron Johnson, Jesse Hartman Lance Robillard, Desiree Josephine
Carol Braun
Carol Braun Sweet
Oh, Carol Braun donated
She used to donate a lot
Thank you
She wrote something really, really sweet
Oh, that's why you wrote sweet next to it
Carol Braun, thank you
Allison Morris, Whitney Gregory
Michael Bretz, Jovan Kennell
Yacine DeMiner Yes,, James Fraker, Allison Speltz,
Pete Cowley, Eric Langenegger, Michael Chase, Haley Gottfried, Stacey Rushworth, Clay Thorson,
Charles Carpenter, Gary Howard, Rishi Deshpande, and his wife, Shannon Weaver.
Wow.
I think I got it.
Not bad.
Jesse Lortz, John Erickson, Under the Sea Fabrics, Brian Dennis, Caitlin Enright, Stephanie
Peterson, Amber Bennett, Mackenzie Parrott, Leroy Walker.
That's what it is.
I saw his name, and it sounded like a football player.
I saw his name and I, I, this sounded like a football player.
Uh, Tara, Tara Mariko, Jaina, Jaina Wellhouse, uh, Jesse, Jess Cox, Gina Miller, Karen, not a grim bitch.
Uh, Lewis, uh, Minda Moya Reynolds, Andrea with no last name.
Uh, Derek Shaw, uh, James martyr.
That's the, yeah, yeah.
Explain that.
Jessica McKinney, uh, Alice, uh, Ashley VO Veal, Christopher Hart, Brad Peters, Jordan Moser, Leo Sacamandi,
Lou, or is it Lou?
It's probably Lou Sacamandi.
Lou?
Okay.
Andy Renaro, Anthony Renaro, and his wife.
Hey, Antony.
Or his girlfriend, Zoe.
Thanks, Antony and your girlfriend.
Appreciate it.
Zoe Badnasek.
Oh, go buy that nice lady some linguine with clams to take her out for a nice night.
What are you doing?
Oh, Bednisek.
There you go.
Okay.
Sek.
Bednisek.
Christina Lauridsen.
Lauren Demerath.
Jesse Pitts.
Donyell Leonardis.
Kenya Green.
Big Rig.
Oh, Big Rig Rick and the homies down there at Homestead in Florida.
Oh, cool.
Thank you guys so much.
And they were the ones that said that they're all guilty.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cool.
I'm in a lot of trouble trying to pronounce this.
I'm in Aklagagi.
Aklagagi.
I'm in Aklagagi.
Wow, that's a good name you got there.
I'm in, you're killing me.
Stephanie Huron, Brent Madison, Susan gable billy johnson and jackie
edmiston you guys are fucking incredible and i'm terrible at reading unbelievable guys thank you
so much it really is shocking uh it's wild every week it's shocking it's amazing and we're we're
just so thankful that's all i can say by i say we're blown away by it but it's we're thankful
and we're just uh we can't thank you enough so thanks for everything you do and what if somebody wanted to creep into your
bedroom jimmy and watch you sleep how could they get a hold of you to tell you about it you find
me at wisman sucks w-h-i-s-m-a-n sucks on twitter instagram and snapchat and uh that's the uh uh
easiest way to get a hold of me i do my best to to respond to everything you guys send me so thank
you guys i appreciate you being involved what about you uh you can find me at jimmy p is funny or you can
just copy and paste my last name from the show description paste just copy and paste my name
you're not gonna you're not gonna spell it right it's just so much easier just to highlight it and
boom do that drop it in there uh get a hold of me and say hello and do all that shit i do my best to
to keep up with everything and uh this has been a fun, creepy, weird...
I'm happy it's over.
Yeah, I don't want to hear about any more room creeping like that.
That's crazy, but...
So far, the story's over.
So far, it's over.
You never know.
He might...
He could pop up at a bedroom any time,
any goddamn time.
So let's keep our fingers crossed that he doesn't.
And, well, that's,
that said live from the crime and sports studios,
we'll see you next week.
Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music.
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Taylor Swift is soaring high, her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans.
She's broken billboard records and made Grammys history, not to mention becoming a billionaire in
the process. But along the way, Taylor has had to wage war, first by taking on a very powerful,
very famous manager, Scooter Braun, and then by going up against the biggest live events company,
Ticketmaster.
Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery's show, Business Wars.
We go deep into some of the biggest corporate rivalries of all time.
And in our latest season, Taylor Swift will shake up not only the music business, but Hollywood and the NFL.
Follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app.