Crime in Sports - #156 - The King Of Rikers Island - The Unflinchingness of Mitch "Blood" Green
Episode Date: April 9, 2019This week, we encounter a legend. Both in his own mind, and in the annuls of various police departments. He was a gang leader, who turned his aggression into a boxing career, only to be sidet...racked by stupidity, Mike Tyson, and PCP. His list of indiscretions range from a 4am street fight with Mike Tyson, to drugs, terrible driving, assault, and a crime that we've never had on the show, or even heard of before. This is a wild ride, from start to finish!! Fight your way out of the projects, obsess over one person for 20 years, and always take your shirt off with Mitch "Blood" Green!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Stories on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports.
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And without further ado,
we've got to dive right into this.
Great.
Because this is just a mountain of disaster.
I want to soar through it.
This is like, I've known a little bit about this
guy because i grew up in new york and there's a an incident that happens that if you grew up in
new york in this time you saw because it's like the most known thing in the world it was on the
news it was on everything 9-11 no it was actually bigger than 9-11 i was gonna actually call it
this is it was like 1988's 9-11. It was that
everywhere. Old ladies were talking
about this guy. It was amazing.
Is Osama bin Laden this week?
This is crazy. It is, actually.
Very little known. He was a pro
soccer player for three games
in the Saudi
League in 1974.
He might have done that,
actually. If bin Laden played...
I swear to God, if he played...
If he ever had on a soccer uniform...
I don't care if he was nine years old
on one of those peewee teams.
We're doing the episode
just because that would be amazing.
He'll start scouring and say
if he played llama polo or something.
He'll be like,
I don't know what happened,
but he just went away from sports.
That's the problem.
And then he just...
Maybe it was drugs. And this, we'd have to you know explore maybe it was drugs what was bin laden into
way do you hear the drugs this guy's into this week too this is he's into fun drugs he's not
even a like cocaine is pedestrian for this man it's like i don't know about that you know it's
more played sports it's more fun than oh did he did he ever? It's Mitch Green, Mitch Blood Green, better known as.
Your nickname is Blood.
Yeah.
That's a nickname for a boxer.
How do you get that nickname when your last name is Green?
We'll talk about it.
There's no Green Blood, sir.
Blood Green.
Well, he didn't get it.
If it's not a wordplay at all, we'll put it that way.
Mitch Blood Green.
Now, Mitch Green, if you hear that, you're thinking uh it's almost tax time yeah
i need to talk to mitch green and get my shit done for sure not what you're thinking at all
this is mitch mitch blood green uh is not uh i don't know how to put it he's he doesn't look
like his name is ira also like his middle name is mitch ira green like we'll put it that way
it's much different is he black no he is
i don't even know how to put it he's he's a caricature of a he's he's a caricature of no
a caricature of a caricature of like if somebody was doing like a racist parody and then someone
did a parody of that this would be that yeah but with a real like
a black guy actually did a parody of someone's racist parody this is what it would be all the
stereotypes are mitch green's face that's pretty much that it's him in real life is sillier than
dave chappelle's little john put it that way it's sillier it's you got it well let's talk about him
mitch blood green born january 13th 1957 god damn it is this a lot of fun this one here
he's born in augusta georgia originally but moves to nyc moves to new york city when he was a young
kid so very young because apparently from what mitch says uh when he was a child in georgia
his father was shot at point blank range by a man that his father was also shooting at the time.
So his father and another man shot each other to death.
Standing next to each other?
I assume at close range.
Otherwise, wow, that's pretty lucky.
Were they running at each other and kept missing
and then got right next to him?
Guns on each other and someone shot
and the other one shot and they were so close.
Who the hell knows?
But both guys dead.
Point-blank range.
Both guys dead. both guys dead guys dead
as a matter of fact the funerals of both men were held in the same mortuary on the same day that is
amazing on this in separate literally same time these families of people who murdered each other
so no one's mad at anyone because it's like i guess it's you know it's all in the game at that
point they they would come out have smoke breaks together it's like it's like, I guess it's all in the game at that point. They would come out, have smoke breaks together.
It's like the Hatfields and McCoys had to bury each other.
Yeah, and then they're like, well, we'll go have a cheese sandwich on inside
and put out a spread.
What the hell's going on here?
He is destined for greatness with a story opening like that.
That's incredible.
That's what people do at funerals, right?
A lot of food and gambling. Yeah. Okay. It was okay who's in my family gambling i don't know about gambling
okay that's an italian thing roulette table next to the body what do you mean an italian funeral
okay during the actual funeral while the body is still above the ground yeah all right it's the
most just every bit's a set everyone's so sad and people are throwing themselves in the coffin and it's a really reverent time and the second that fucking
body goes in the ground and it's the after funeral thing ties get loosened up everybody's having
fucking sopra seta and capicol and people are fucking shooting dice and gambling for cards in
the manner back to life i gotta eat and i gotta fucking you want to gamble let's do this and the men are
gambling that's an italian funeral never seen it no it's fun it's good this breaks up old ladies
in here it's a celebration of life for it's a celebration of something of a lifestyle anyway
so uh he ends up growing up and it's kind of contradictory things here he uh he says in
different articles he grows up in the uh he grows up in the south
bronx so he says in the soundview projects uh but he also like harlem is his shit he loves harlem
at the same time now that's all kind of connected harlem to the south bronx and all that i don't
know if you know geography i've seen it yeah on a map if there's just a little tiny you know there's
not much it's all connected by by streets and there's just a little water it's not much there so uh you know i don't know if he's he's talking about that but he grows
up in the 70s in the south bronx or harlem this is not a good place to be this is really bad yeah
like that from you know to the early 70s to the mid 90, that is a fucked up time to be in that place.
As bad a time to be anywhere at any time.
It's terrible.
So he liked to run around on the streets.
Now, his mom is a very studious, hard worker.
And his mom does not understand him at all.
We'll put it that way.
His mother talks and she's just like, I just don't understand what got into that young man.
I just don't get it.
He says later on, quote, hey, man, I always did a lot of my fighting in the street anyway.
I like to fight.
I'm dedicated to it.
That's why my nickname, that's why my name is Mitch Blood Green, you know.
If I didn't make him bleed, I wasn't satisfied.
If I didn't scratch him or bloody their nose i wasn't satisfied uh mitch blood green i must have got the name when
i was 14 or 15 and it stuck jesus so yeah that's what he talks about he likes to make people bleed
he likes to fight in the streets uh he talks about uh being the being one of the leaders of
the black spades was his gang.
I've heard of him.
Yes.
So that was in the Bronx there.
And because he's 6'5".
Jesus.
He's a big son of a bitch.
He's 6'5", with wide shoulders.
He's a heavyweight boxer later on.
So, I mean, he's a big, tough son of a bitch that likes to fight.
If you're that big and you're willing to throw down, you're going to be pretty menacing.
You're going to be pretty formidable.
It's a frightening dude.
It's a frightening dude.
Who likes to see people bleed.
He likes it.
He likes it.
I like to fight.
This is what his mom says.
Quote, he's always liked to fight as a small boy, as a big boy, and as a man.
For some reason, he just likes it.
I don't like his nickname, Blood.
He likes it.
I don't.
He didn't really change until he became a boxer and
that changed him uh this way he could let out some of his frustrations and anger i don't know he just
had a mean streak yeah so yeah that's the kind of the guy he is but it's weird because he he has this
mean streak but he's also like this really gregarious dude yeah like he's uh people that
know him and are friends with him and and
people who have like even worked with him that he's fucked over in business and everything else
are like you can't dislike the guy as a he's just a kind of a fun he's a personable guy he doesn't
really mean people any harm uh you know for the most part for when he likes to see them fucking
bleed well i mean that's if they're in another gang and you're in a gang.
I mean, they're all, as Omar would say,
it's all in the game at that point.
I mean, you know, that's one thing.
But to people who are not trying to hurt him or something or whatever,
then it's a different story.
And people tend to like the fucking guy, actually.
Now, he's arrested for assault in 1974.
Already.
As a young man, yeah.
He's arrested a shitload as a teenager.
We're going to cover a lot of arrests.
And I mean a lot of arrests.
And it's not even, it's not all of them by any stretch of the fucking imagination.
The 16 or 17 is his first one.
It's, oh, no, no.
He got arrested before that.
But it's his first serious charge.
It's an assault charge.
Okay.
So it's his first non, like, petty bullshit.
Okay.
So he says, it was like it was
a gang fight seems like i've been uh seems like i've always been in fights all my life uh he says
it's all i can do uh he says well what do you do best fighting why and then so he said well then i
tried it so that was the whole thing basically he gets arrested for assault and they're like well
if you like fighting so much why don't you try boxing yeah and uh which is a smart thing to do hey for a living you like fighting go to this gym and fight
where they won't arrest you for it exactly that's a great thing to tell a kid who's over aggressive
plus when you get fucking it's something to the fact that if someone's like an aggressive
kid and wants to fight on the streets and you put them in a boxing ring put them in a ring with
someone more experienced with them in boxing and they will beat the shit out of that person,
no matter how tough they are.
A boxer in a ring with gloves on who knows what they're doing
is going to fucking take you apart,
and then they're going to go,
hey, maybe I need to learn shit,
and I think that that helps.
A lot of boxers started out as not upstanding citizens,
as we'll talk about,
and we're going to talk a little about Tyson
because he is absolutely just so connected to tyson it's not even oh boy yeah i mean they were right at the
right time oh and it's a they they were you will find out the incident i'm so happy you don't even
know about this because it's one of those things where it's like a cliche to bring this guy up and
so i get to tell you nothing uh yeah he says though uh once he's been in boxing like two years go by
and he hadn't had been in any trouble uh he says that uh you know uh the the coach here johnny
bowman who's his his coach he says quote my rules is their rules that goes for him that goes for any
of them that's why he's wearing those around his neck which was at this point two solid gold block boxing gloves uh signifying him winning the golden
gloves championships got a necklace which he did yeah they get he's got one for every one of them
and later on he still has them as we'll talk about uh he won the uh he's an as an amateur obviously
he won the new york state golden gloves four times 1977, 1979, and 1980.
So four-time Golden Glove champ.
Missed it once in five years.
Yeah, that's pretty goddamn impressive.
Had a record total as an amateur of 64 wins and seven losses with 51 knockouts.
That's pretty impressive.
That's goddamn impressive.
He won the 1976 Sub Novice Heavyweight Championship.
Yeah. He won the 1976 Sub Novice Heavyweight Championship and then the 1977, 79 and 80 Heavyweight Open Championships.
He's a boxer for Golden Globes.
Yeah, he's a bad motherfucker.
Absolutely.
He defeated got a guy named Anthony Zampelli, who was a fighter later on to win the 76 title.
Now, in 1977, there's an article on this gym in the New a new york paper and they talk about mitch green a little bit in this so this is fucking hilarious to get like pre-crazy yeah
famous mitch green and they say uh his coach says uh he watches the big name fights fighters on tv
and he says to himself i can beat him uh he just he's very confident in himself he said mitch will
tell you that the only man he gives a
chance against himself is muhammad ali because this is 1977 mind you so muhammad ali is still
yeah still a fighter yeah well yeah he can still hold a fucking glass at that point too you know
like basic things he's liquid in it yeah he's doing great at this point he's still fighting
he knows where he is uh they said quote he's a heavyweight about ali he's a heavyweight who
fights like the little men five six punches at a heavyweight about ali he's a heavyweight who fights like the
little men five six punches at a time three four hooks that's what i like that's what i do that's
mitch's quote there uh yeah he talks about foreman and uh ken norton and guys like that are just one
punch at a time fighters quote they don't make boxing look like an art which is what it is an
art a science keep that in mind by the way an art and a science for later i
needed that quote uh yeah so they're talking about when he's going to turn pro soon and uh he says
next year but he doesn't end up actually turning pro for about three years yeah so i don't know
what happened there foreman did make it look like a science so did norton for that matter it was
just a slow fucking beat muhammad ali like you you got that scientific as fuck it's just a slow
art that's all it is it's just a slow art
that's all they just have they have a different style george foreman's huge he doesn't have to
fucking hit you a whole bunch of times muhammad ali takes two muhammad ali weighed 215 at his
peak like george foreman was a big motherfucker george foreman was 215 12 years old that's what
i mean he was looking to knock you the hell out with a punch whereas ali you know if he could land
a whole bunch and knock you out and, you know, get to you fine.
But otherwise, let's go the distance and win on points.
He doesn't give a shit.
So different styles here.
So, yeah, he he just got he lost due to a cut in the 1978 tournament.
And that's why he didn't win in 78 was bleeding too much.
Yeah, yeah.
He had a cut.
And that's one of those things.
Something made blood bleed.
Blood bleed, baby. He's also
a two-time inner-city Golden Gloves
champion who was
apparently they do this inner-city
they take the three most elite Golden Gloves
from the Chicago and New York
Golden Gloves and they fight them.
So that was basically the champion of New York
and Chicago together at that
point. In 1977
he won the Golden Gloves title with a knockout in round one.
That's with headgear on.
Right now.
So that's pretty good.
Wow.
Yeah, I have a guy named Calvin Cross.
And then, yeah, not too shabby here.
Sure.
He lost to Igor Vysotsky, a Russian guy.
Oh, I was going to say Texan.
Yeah, Igor.
You know, a lot of Igors down there, down Alamo Way.
Tchaikovsky, what was the last name?
It's pretty much the same shit.
Igor Tchaikovsky, it doesn't matter.
He's actually a good Russian boxer from that time period.
But in 1978, Mitch lost against him.
And he was also considered a prospect for the 80 Olympic Games.
Mitch was. I think that's what he was holding out for. But the 80 olympic games mitch was i think that's
what he was holding out for but the u.s ended up boycotting the event right and then all those
athletes that were gonna for all those like 1980 athletes were like huh what the fuck my whole life
for now and then that's my one window and it's gone oh okay you gotta wait four more years this
is bullshit i'll be 32 then it it's over. Okay, never mind.
Thanks.
Glad I worked my whole life.
Thanks.
Thanks a lot.
Was it Gorbachev?
Was it Gorbachev?
What?
That whole thing with Russia?
Yeah.
Yeah, that was the Moscow 80, right?
Was that Gorbachev?
I don't know.
In Russia?
Yeah, in 80 I think it was Gorbachev.
Did he come in in 82?
I don't know.
I don't fucking remember.
This isn't about that. Don't tweet us we don't care too many Russian doesn't matter
so uh uh Green also loses to Marvis Frazier of the in the quarter files finals of the Olympic
trials that year and then ended up not obviously the Olympics never happened so jokes on you
Marvis Frazier fuck off take that marvis frazier becomes pretty famous
fighter later on the joe's son no okay no uh he also lost fights at this time to greg page who
was a really good fighter world champion later on tony tubs who's around forever uh and he also
beat tubs in 78 also so he kind of went back and forth there i don't know who tubs is but not tony
tubs you know you know tony how do i know who that is i don't know i don't know i don't know how you don't know what mitch green is well this is ridiculous
he was insanely everywhere and then it just fell off the face of the earth well that's what it's
so this is the weirdest story it's so strange and you're just like why are you doing this
why most guys you kind of see even if they're doing stupid shit you like you see their momentum
and the volition of the whole thing here you're like what you had that took more effort to why
did you do that that was stupid just fight dummy just stop doing what you're doing right uh by the
way this is afro era mitch green we're going to talk about mitch blood green has three general
eras of hair uh as we'll talk about he has his his Afro era, which is this late 70s, early 80s.
Then in the mid 80s, he goes into his glory time of his jerry curl era.
Just dripping.
Just dripping.
I love it.
Oh, soaking wet.
And then later on, he goes into more of like a braid dread type scenario later.
Once the jerry curls go out of style.
Yeah, but that's a fascinating progression.
Once Ice Cube got rid of him, you had to. That was was it that was the end of it at that point like everybody else
has had to go to once there was punch lines in house party yeah you gotta go yeah not 90 was
your cut off 90 was the jerry curl mullet cut off both of those if you had past 90 it was like
look at you he's being made fun of in videos it It's time to cut that thing. Let's get rid of it here.
Also, always, and I mean always, has a toothpick hanging out of his mouth.
Oh.
Always.
And he gets in the ring with a toothpick hanging out of his mouth.
He doesn't fight with it.
He gets, you know, this is a manager ceremony.
Blasted down your throat.
Always has a toothpick.
Why, you may ask?
I do ask.
Well, he has an explanation for it.
Jesus.
Yeah, always has it uh he says quote i had managers that didn't like me to do the toothpick so naturally i kept on doing it
that's that's why so that's mainly pretty much everything in his life he's a rebellious dick
that dude said not to do it so i did it that's why i'm in jail now because the dude was a cop
who said don't do that thing or i'll arrest you and i was like well i gotta do it now oh i got it fuck it so uh yeah uh he's a big guy six six five and a heavy
weight and later on his weight fluctuates like most heavyweights do but he goes he's about 230
in his heyday he's a big boy yeah 225 230 he's a big son of a bitch, 6'5", and he can box. His pro debut is on August 11, 1980,
at Caesars Tahoe in the Cascade Showroom in Stateline, Nevada.
All right.
Woo-hoo.
Versus Jerry Foley, who is a 13-and-13 career fighter.
Now, usually, if you've listened to any boxing episodes before,
I have several sources.
When I say someone's a non-linker, they'll be like, well, on wikipedia here's a boxing i i look at that's how i get all
their information i know the box i know boxer rec i know i know all these fucking things so that's
where i get this shit so uh normally though it's just funny to see who has a link on wikipedia
just who's generally known and to see how many fighters they fight are just nobody non-Wikipedia link people.
So this guy, his very first fight, Jerry Foley, had a link.
And I'm like, are you a linker in fucking fight one?
How about that?
Holy shit.
Well, there's a reason for that.
Here is the link.
It says, quote, Jerry Foley is an American television director and producer, formerly with the late show with David Letterman.
Wrong guy.
I don't think he also fought he's an executive producer and director of live on letterman
concert series in june 95 he succeeded hal gurney as the director of the late show god damn it
wikipedia he has nine dga award nominations and 21 emmy nominations a record for a single person
working on a variety series wow what and he was a fighter
a 13 and 13 funny they don't mention that on his page how did he have so much time to produce tv
when he was so weird yeah that's what he was he wasn't that great 13 and 13 while he was on the
mat he's like you know what i really think you could do more with the lighting on late night i
really think you could do it and spice it up a little and i there's a lot of i have a lot of
ideas i gotta get up and go give them to somebody so uh yeah he doesn't have a link in reality the real jerry foley he's a 13 and 13
nobody fighter uh who gets tko'd in round one at 144 so mitch is one and oh with a first round
knockout feeling good about himself your first fight you knock the guy out in the first round
yeah that has to feel great yeah and that was, like I said, that's August 11th,
and now the fights start coming kind of fast and furious.
November 25th, 1980, at the Civic Center in Hartford,
versus Johnny Pitts.
Johnny Pitts.
And this is his pro debut, Johnny Pitts.
And Johnny Pitts, in total, ends up with a 1-10 career.
This is not the win.
Let's just say that.
This is a third round tko uh bringing
mitch to two and oh and then he's fighting again on december 20th so you know less than a month
later he's right there wants to have black eyes for christmas yay oh yeah oh grandma it's great
everything's going well smile a smile across the dinner like fight club and just blood dripping
out of your loving it yeah just big fucking sunglasses on.
Now, he fights Harold Rice this night
who's 3-0-1 coming in.
Good old Harry Rice.
Good old Harry Rice.
So we've got a 2-0 fighter
versus a 3-0-1 fighter.
This is promising young guys.
Harold Rice, though,
turns into a 6-6-1 career fighter.
It's kind of promised.
Kind of falls off the cliff
a little bit.
Right now.
Right now when he loses in the fifth round by TKO.
So bringing Mitch to 3-0, though.
So Mitch must be thrilled.
He's on top of the world.
January 22nd, a month later.
I mean, these are just boom, boom, boom.
All these fighters in the beginning of their career.
So fast.
Yeah.
And it's one thing for Tyson to do it because he was never getting hit.
Ever.
You know, the fights are lasting 30 seconds and he wasn't getting hit.
But if you're going five rounds, three rounds, you're getting hit.
Yeah.
In the head.
Absolutely.
Quite a bit.
Absolutely.
Which is, you know, they got to add up.
You would expect it to.
Now, think about this.
Getting punched in the head and he's tall.
I have a theory on something. Quickly, I'll disseminate this theory to the world okay i hit my head on shit
all the time yeah because i'm six four and shit is fucking low and things aren't made for like
is he saying the residual head injury just from walking around just from think about this when
growing up like my my basement at my dad's house there, the doorway from one room to the other was like 6'2".
I hit my forehead, and I mean hard, like knocking myself down at least a dozen times on this.
You don't have those head injuries.
So I probably have, just from my height, 6'4", 5'8", or 7", or whatever.
There's probably conservatively hundred extra blows to the
head that i've taken that you haven't taken that means something so if you had a guy who's
think about nfl guys if you're six foot five this is fucking and you're fucking hitting your head
out all the time anyway and then you're also compounding it with football injuries and boxing
or whatever the fuck what do you expect and football players as many times as they get on
plane they're constantly hitting their head basketball players grows up in the projects
nothing is made for people six five and old buildings all i did from 13 years old on has
hit my head on shit took cinder blocks to the face for 20 years so yeah what do you fucking want
how often i hit my head is insane sarah's always like oh my god that's oh
god jesus i want to reach things but fuck it's you're gonna hit your head a lot i have to have
just a boatload of brain damage that's ready to pop up at any time i want a youtube uh uh
montage of her just going oh god oh god oh my jesus you're always are you okay oh god you're just like no i'm not i felt that my
feelings i would after watching my feelings rattled i think that's bad after watching it's
always sunny i wanted a montage of them saying god damn it it fucking exists so i went to youtube
and found it and now i want to see that same thing of sarah like looking down at something
and constantly going oh my god are you okay you all right jesus i'm telling you man so fucking that would be amazing that's my theory though
that's what i got so january 22nd 1981 this is at ice world in todawa new jersey okay so
neither do i and i'm from back there i have no fucking idea where that is todawa i don't even
know if that's how you say it i've never even heard of it never mind know where it
is so uh don't complain because if i'm from new york and i never heard of that town in new jersey
probably not that important of a place sorry nothing happened nothing happened versus lindsey
page who's two and two coming in and finishes finishes his career two and seven okay this is
the end of this is the beginning of a long slide here.
TKO in round two, 4-0 for Mitch.
Now, February 8th, which is goddamn two weeks later, 8-81,
he's fighting at the Great Gorge Playboy Club Hotel in McAfee, New Jersey.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
That's where the Playboy Club is?
It's probably a bit.
It's not that Playboy.
It's probably like they say, whenever it's vegas they call it paradise nevada and all these it's the actual address where that's probably
atlantic city i bet which anything sounds better than atlantic city because you automatically just
smell you know fish and sewer yeah and old old prostitutes and i'm talking old not they've been
a prostitute for a long time they're in their 70s they just started and they've been no and they've been a prostitute for a long time. They're in their 70s. They just started. No, and they've been a prostitute.
They're 50-year vets down there in the Atlantic City.
Or they're 70 and just started because they've been playing roulette for 30 years.
I've been playing the sluts.
They're not doing well today.
I don't know, Sophia.
What do you think?
Let's blow some fellas.
Let me see your oxygen quick.
I'm going to get a couple of breaths before I go in.
Not good.
Jesus. He fights evans this night he didn't like the godfather 2 when he wanted to let robert not that robert
evans he fights robert evans who's a 6 15 and 3 career fighter this goes all six rounds goes all
six rounds with this guy and it's a draw wow so he draws he draws with Robert Evans for some reason which is this is another thing Mitch does.
Yeah.
He'll show so much promise
and do so well
and then just not feel like
fighting one fight.
Just don't feel like
just tanks it
like not on purpose
but well there's one fight
that he just kind of
just refuses to fight.
Really?
He's not happy.
We'll talk about
but he's not happy
with his manager
so he decides
he's not going to punch anybody.
It's the weirdest
fucking thing in the world.
When you watch a man in a bring,
there's two guys and one of them doesn't want to fight
and the other one kind of wants to finish the fight,
but he's like, I don't want to just hit this dude.
He'll throw like these, I'll hit you.
You're really not going to hit back?
Like flinch punches?
I don't understand this shit.
Pat, wait a second.
And they stand there and look at him like, huh, what?
That doesn't
piss you off you don't want to hit me back now as a manager you gotta you gotta look deep within
when when the guy that loves to watch people bleed refuses to make people bleed for you it's just i
just not feeling the blood i don't want to make people bleed for you you are a dick not you so
401 for mitch yeah he waits a couple of months now and fights again June 21, 1981.
This is at the Playboy Hotel and Casino again.
Got to have that.
He fights Mike's older brother, Melvin Epps.
He's not Mike's older brother, but Melvin Epps.
He fights like Mike Epps, though.
Has other people fight for him?
Well, that would be how Mike Epps fights.
That's kind of an inside comedy joke because if you don't know.
Because that guy
is a lunatic the club in phoenix he was headlining one night and there was some disagreement with him
and a heckler and it turned into it's on youtube yeah it turned into a fucking all-out
mail all with 600 people uh chairs flying people going down mike's security team just
and indiscriminately beating up patrons for no fucking reason whatsoever
first of all if you're a comedian and you need a security team you're doing it wrong yeah you're
just doing it wrong you just are jerry seinfeld has a billion dollars he's got a billion dollars
he goes everywhere no security team not one person shows up and fucking does his comedy he doesn't
have like nine guys are ready to rough up the audience for him. You're doing it wrong, Mike Epps.
They unbolted chairs and tables
from the floor.
It was fucking crazy.
It stomps a man.
It was absolutely fucking bananas.
Dave Chappelle is much better than you
and he has no thugs.
He doesn't have a fucking
an entourage of 14 people
ready to stomp a comedy crowd.
A bunch of dudes with their wives
who worked that day at
their day job and you're gonna fucking send your team out to beat the shit out of them nice job
asshole most he's got is ashy larry going out there screaming i'm ranch bitch yeah and not
fighting anybody he's a nice guy yeah he's a sweet he's a nice motherfucker we we were with
him uh yeah on the radio thing yeah he's he's a nice dude. Nobody was ready to
punch anybody in this radio
studio. It was fine.
So you don't have to do that is what I'm getting at.
So 14-24-1 for
Melvin Mike Epps here.
This goes all six rounds again.
Mitch wants to know why he likes to noodle.
He likes to just kind of box with you.
It's weird. It goes all
six. Unanimous decision for mitch though
he does beat him pretty good here uh 50 and one for mitch april 9th 1982 so big layoff from june
to april and there had to be some legal something in there right there had to be because this is
one reason to do that when you're winning that's what i mean it's very odd to take this long of a
layoff to take like a you know a nine month layoff like this unless the the bookers were just not impressed with him beating
the shit out of a guy for six rounds well it's not exciting i mean that's not you want to watch
no from an undercard new fighter you want to see fire and tyson was the best one to have because
that was like oh shit we're gonna see something crazy yeah and then you're gonna see a long fight
for the main event but this is like you don're going to see something crazy. Did you see that shit? Yeah, and then you're going to see a long fight for the main event.
But this is like, you don't want to see two undercard guys with less than 10 fights each fucking, you know, pawn at each other for six rounds.
So his next fight is April 9th, 1982 at the Stouffer's Inn in Cleveland versus Willard
Dumas, who is an 0-7 career fighter.
This is a first round knockout.
They set him up and they're like, knock that one out, him.
Willard Dumas sounds like an old man.
He's got a terminal disease, and he's like,
just put me in the ring and let him beat me to death.
Hold on now. I'm ready. I'm coming now.
Hold on, goddammit.
I'm coming to the damn ring, and I'll get there when I get there.
Jesus Christ.
I've been beating my kids red for 30 years.
I can fight in a ring, too.
Them steps are tough to get up.
Let me tell you something.
It's hard to climb up those steps.
His ass is hanging out.
It's harder every time.
All right, then.
Where is it?
Where is it?
Oh, the other corner.
Okay, sorry about that.
Hold on.
I've got to put my glasses on.
Let me get a good look at them.
Oh, okay.
I'll beat that young man's ass.
That's my guy.
I'm going to whoop that young man's ass.
So, 0-7, KO in round one.
6-0-1 for Mitch.
May 2nd, 82, so now he's back in the groove of things.
Playboy Casino in Atlantic City.
Walter Ware he fights, who is 3-1 coming in.
3-3 career.
Jesus.
He falls apart here.
Humbled right away.
I would say.
And TKO in round one at 248
i'll do that to you that'll do it uh 701 for mitch june 11th next month 1982 uh this is at
the caesar's palace outdoor arena there's the indoor and the outdoor in vegas here kind of i
guess that's where they had uh uh wrestlemania 9 i believe jason fuller reference i believe that's
where they had that as the outdoor and they turned it into a
like a venue for shit and it's
terrible it's the middle of fucking desert it's
sun they put
Vegas in June is that what that says?
June 11th Jesus Christ
they put like the thing over the ring you know
with like the lighting standards and shit but it's
that blocks the sun from the ring
but metal scaffolding if it's high noon
it does and if it's any other angle it's just
burning you june 11th 82 that sounds terrible it sounds awful at night or during the day it won't
matter you can have it two in the morning it's still gonna be awful out there two in the morning
would be hot as fuck hell yeah so hot in june uh this is versus walter santamore who's a 20 and 23
career fighter so he's a journeyman this guy and it goes all six
rounds again yeah unanimous decision for Mitch these guys he's lower guys he'll go the distance
he beats him soundly but he just doesn't ever put him away okay it's almost like he's being careful
or something you don't you don't want to fuck it up don't want to get you know slip and get
knocked out or some shit like that you know know, without... Or is he just enjoying watching them bleed? Or he's just enjoying...
He's enjoying jabbing until he bleeds.
Watching every drip.
No.
So August 14th, 82, back at the Stouffer's Ballroom,
he fights Grady Daniels, who sounds like a hobo.
At the what place, James?
The Stouffer's Ballroom.
Yeah.
Grady Daniels sounds like a dish.
It sounds like a frozen meat dish. Grady sounds like a hobo who's fighting for mac and cheese. That's what he's Ballroom. Grady Daniels sounds like a dish. It sounds like a frozen meat dish.
Grady sounds like a hobo who's fighting for mac and cheese.
That's what he's fighting for.
It's the battle for the bindle.
You've heard of the rumble of the jungle.
This is the battle for the bindle.
Cleveland, Ohio, the Stouffer's Ballroom.
Grady Daniels fighting for his dinner.
After the winner gets five pounds of frozen mac and cheese.
Five pounds of frozen mac and cheese
for the winter.
One of those family-sized tubs.
It takes like four hours to heat up.
Yeah, what the fuck is that?
Yeah, I'll be home from work at eight,
so, well, I'm in the car going there now,
so you might as well put it in the oven,
and I'll eat it when I get home.
Thanks.
Start preheating.
Just start going now,
because it's going to be a while.
Thanks.
Wow.
Five-pound block of ice. Yeah. going now, because it's going to be a while. Thanks. Wow. Five pound block of ice.
Yeah.
Ice with pasta in it, which is not going to defrost.
None of this is defrosting.
No.
It's got to defrost and then cook.
My first bite, I'm going to go, it's cold.
It's still cold.
What the fuck?
And it'll say an hour, and that means two hours.
Right.
Otherwise, it's still icy in the middle.
And the edge will be burnt to shit.
Oh, so good.
It'll be ruined.
You want that burnt.
You want the burntness of that mac and cheese skin.
That's what you need.
Because you mix it then, and the middle gets...
And when you find a piece of it, you're like...
There it is, a big dangling piece of mac and cheese skin.
All coated in cheese.
Going down like a motherfucker.
So good.
Chipping through the ice to get to it is worth it
that's right damn it so maybe grady daniels is doing a good thing fighting for his dinner here
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Well, this is an eight round fight. Grady Daniels
is a 9 and 20 career fighter, so
he's a journeyman, kind of a bum here.
This goes all eight rounds.
Jesus, Mitch.
Put him away away god damn it
put somebody to sleep at least another unanimous decision for him so he's 901 but in an unimpressive
fashion honestly uh then he fights october 2nd 82 a couple months later at the sands hotel in
atlantic city he fights lon dale freeson three words really on dale freeson not lon dale oh boy He fights Lon Dale Friesen. Three words. Really? Lon Dale Friesen. Not Lon Dale.
Oh, boy.
Lon Dale.
He's a two and six career fighter.
Yeah.
This is a second round knockout.
So it's like if we get somebody who has no experience and who is terrible and has a dumb
name, Mitchell, knock him out.
So we could set that up.
So that's his 10th win.
He's 10-0-1 at this point.
So that's something.
It looks good on paper.
Yeah.
February 16th, 1983 at the Brendan Byran burn arena which is at the meadowlands in new jersey so that's like
hometown shit for him basically because that's like where the giants play there's an arena too
uh brendan burn uh this is versus floyd cummings oh who's a linker oh it's a linker holy shit yay he's 15 and 3 coming in oh not bad that's a great fighter
he's linked i mean something uh but that he's actually known as like an up-and-coming good
fighter that you know this is like a match-up where well one of these guys will slide down a
little and one of them's gonna shoot up uh floyd ends up being 15 6 and 1 in his career oh no he
doesn't win another he doesn't win anymore win anymore. Three losses and a draw.
Oh, that's no good.
No.
This goes all ten rounds, though, and a unanimous decision for Mitch.
Oh, I feel so bad for him.
For poor Floyd.
Poor Floyd.
You see this so often with fighters.
This is a very common thing.
Once a guy, it's not even a loss, because sometimes a loss will be okay, but a certain
kind of loss gets in their head.
Feels like everybody can figure it out.
It just gets in their head, and they can't do it anymore.
You have to have this weird...
Boxers are like fighter pilots.
Like fighter pilots, when they interview fighter pilots, they make sure that they're a narcissist.
Literally, they're looking for narcissistic people who have an unreal sense of themselves in reality.
They're looking for someone who goes, I can fly into gunfire
and I'll just come out the other end
because I'm me.
I'm just the best person on earth.
I'm so good.
If there's bullets,
I'll just turn them like the Matrix.
I'll flip the plane upside down
and I'll make it in the new
and I'll get through it.
That's the guy they want
because shake the wings and shit.
Everybody else will be like,
there's fucking missiles and shit.
I'm not going near that
and they'll turn back around.
You have to be a narcissistic lunatic
to think you'll get through it.
That's the same thing with boxers you have to have this like
indestructible thing to you yeah even though if you lose your your concentration for one second
anybody can get knocked out it's the weirdest thing we just love to see people bleed or you
just really want to see blood uh so 11 0 and 1 for uh for uh old uh uh Mitch. June 17th, 83 at the Dunes Hotel in Las Vegas.
So he made it to Vegas.
This is versus James Dixon.
He's a 16-39-2 fighter.
Wow, that is a journeyman and a half right there.
I think I've stayed at that hotel when I was a kid.
The Dunes?
It's a piece of shit.
Oh, it's one of the old ones.
They blew it up a long time ago.
They've imploded that shit 20 years ago.
The Dunes and the White Sands, I believe? The Sands was the other one. The Sands. It's a piece of shit, too. Well, that was Sin of the old ones. They blew it up a long time ago. It imploded that shit 20 years ago. The dunes and the white sands, I believe.
The sands was the other one.
The sands.
It's a piece of shit, too.
Well, that was Sinatra made the fans.
Is that the one?
That's where they used to perform all the time.
You know what, though?
It wasn't the sands.
It was in like 1962.
It was definitely the white sands.
It was the piece of shit.
Knock-off sands?
Holy, the Hyundai of fucking hotels?
Outdoors and everything.
Outdoor corridors.
It wasn't even.
Yeah.
It's like a motel
style yeah the actual sands had hallways no not here now with hallways fabulous las vegas now
with hallways come on and see us not the one i stayed out jesus christ not this one well this
fight 1639 and two fighter this goes all 10 rounds all 10 again all the these
are a lot of rounds building up that he's fighting uh he wins on points mitch does but still goes all
he should be knocking these guys out uh 1201 for him march 21st 84 at the showboat hotel and casino
in las vegas he fights linwood jones yeah uh who sounds like a defensive end. He does. Doesn't he?
A first-round draft pick.
Linwood, that's a tough man.
Linwood Jones out of Texas A&M.
He's a fucking...
Man, he comes around that corner,
knocks an offensive tackle on his ass,
and just engulfs that quarterback.
He's a bad son.
I hope he does,
because he's 13 and 26 in his boxing career.
Shit.
Hang him up, Linwood.
I hope he's a better football player.
This ain't your game, sir.
This is a TKO at 48 seconds into the fight. Wow. So Mitch has his way with Linwood. So I hope he's a better football player. This ain't your game, sir. This is a TKO at 48 seconds into the fight.
Wow.
So Mitch has his way with Linwood here.
Well, he's got his head in the playbook.
What do you want from a guy?
You know, can't help it.
His coach is going to quiz him in the morning.
Trying to figure out how to break that belly option.
He's got to do it.
Yeah, he's like, shit, they're running the zone.
Fucking read on me.
I got to.
Fuck.
So, yeah, this is 13 is uh 1301 for mitch
july 15th 84 municipal auditorium in kingston new york uh versus playboy young louis hell yeah
is his name or lewis young is his first name wow playboy young lewis or louis however you
i hope it's louis i hope it's louis too uh 14 and 7 coming in for the playboy and uh
14 and 9 career okay so not great no uh this is a tko in round six at 49 seconds bringing mitch to
14 0 and 1 uh july 31st 84 so two weeks later yeah at the uh riviera in vegas so moving up to
a slightly better hotel not much but slightly slightly versus slamming Sammy Scaff.
Slamming Sammy is a big, doofy looking white dude with a big floppy mustache.
Really?
Yeah.
He does not look like a boxer.
No.
In the slightest.
He looks just like I don't know what he looks like, but not a boxer.
When your name's Sammy Scaff, how about you skip an S name?
Yeah.
What the fuck, man? He just looks like he's like, but not a boxer. When your name's Sammy Scaff, how about you skip an S name? Yeah. What the fuck, man?
He just looks like he's a roofing foreman.
And he's just got this big mustache.
And he's like, more hot tar on.
I need more hot tar.
And he's, hold on.
I got to fight this guy real quick.
You really are slamming the tar up there, Sammy.
Come on.
Hey, that's right.
You know what?
I'm going to be a fighter.
You're going to get off this roof.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to be the guy to get off the roof.
Petey says I can't do it but i could do
it i could go fight i got it in me i got heart you understand what's his record it's uh 10 and
2 coming into the fight 21 and 14 career okay so at least it's over 500 fuck it's that's that's
respectable uh tko in round six at 141 for mitch okay 1501 for mitch he's really coming up in the rankings but more importantly
than any of that he's entering his jerry curl era at this point this is when he's like let me get
that applicator yeah and he started just fucking juicing it up and he's all his jerry curl glory There's just a trail behind him. A curl wake.
It's just awful.
1985 in March.
There is a pre-fight press conference between Larry Holmes and David Bay.
They're going to have a fight.
What does this have to do with Mitch Green, you might say?
Fucking nothing.
Nothing at all.
He inserts himself into it.
Has nothing to do with him.
He's not involved in this at all.
inserts himself into it has nothing to do with him he's not involved in this at all he pops into the middle of this press conference saying that he is a way better fighter than bay
and uh he wants to fight larry holmes and he gets into a big physical altercation with don king's
people he had his fucking mind and larry holmes his body goes trying to hey the way he's smart
though he can't get any publicity yeah and he's going, all right, if I go do this at the press conference, if I act crazy, people
know my fucking name and they'll go, I'd like to see that guy fight Larry Holmes.
Then he's fucking nuts.
Let's throw him in there.
But you also have to make these people want to book you.
Yeah.
And acting like a crazy person.
You showed up.
Yeah.
If you showed up at a comedy club and you wanted to get booked there and they had like
a headliner on and you went out in the middle of the show and started throwing chairs
around like you're Mike Epps' security team, you wouldn't work there anymore.
Probably not.
Probably banned.
Yeah, like Mike Epps.
Right.
Yeah, so at this point, his thumb was bitten by one of Larry Holmes' bodyguards, leaving
a scar that he had for you.
That's a smooth description.
I mean, that's a good defense mechanism.
Yeah.
If you're a little guy and you're one of his.
Well, he's Larry Holmes' bodyguard.
You'd have to be bigger than Larry Holmes.
You would hope so.
Who's like 6'5", 260.
So how big is Larry Holmes' bodyguard?
Maybe that's how frightening Mitch Green is.
Mitch Green's a scary son of a bitch, and he can fight, too.
So that's another problem.
It's like, shit, he's a big guy, and he's skilled.
This is bad.
And he's got a jerry curl.
And his jerry curl.
He's willing to rock that shit.
Well, he bit him in lieu of putting him in a headlock.
He's like, I'm not getting that juice all over my fucking suit jacket.
There's no way that's happening.
I look like I have pit stains all day.
I'm just going to bite him.
Fuck it.
That shit never comes out.
I have one drippy armpit.
Yeah.
It's hot over on the left side of the car you can't go to the dry cleaner and ask them to get fucking jerry curl juice soaked into your
fabric not happening so uh october 10th 1985 this is not versus larry holmes but it does get him a
high profile flight uh this is why i know you have heard of Mitch Green before because I've talked about Mitch Green before. October 10th,
85 at the Riviera Hotel in Vegas
for the vacant USBA
title, he fights Trevor Burbick.
Old Trevor Burbick.
That guy's a lunatic too. We've talked about him.
He's in, I think, episode 63?
I believe that's the episode Dan Cummins from
Crime Suck was on. I believe he's
dead. Dan? Not Dan.
Trevor Burbick. Trevor Burbick's absolutely dead he was killed
in jamaica by his nephew or some shit yeah with a machete that's a crazy listen to trevor burbick
nuts all these boxing stories are nuts yeah god damn it uh burbick's 28 and 4 coming in and as
we know we beat muhammad ali up and i mean bro you know burbick was had a good career going on
at this point he's a champion he's got a belt trevor burbick uh this fight goes all 12 rounds oh it's a split decision
and burbick wins oh so mitch is this fucking close to getting like a title belt and all this uh right
after this burbick will go on to get the shit beaten out of him by mike tyson and to this that's
tyson when tyson wins the heavyweight championship so this is right out of him by mike tyson and to this that's tyson when tyson
wins the heavyweight championship so this is right before tyson this is tyson is not a household name
at this point mike tyson is a just percolating hey have you heard of that one kid who knocks
everybody out in a round that's all he is mitch had beaten burbick he may have been the guy that
uh tyson beat up yeah he would have been the champ he would have been the guy that tyson would
be going after yeah but he's got to wait another little while for
Mike Tyson, I'll talk about here.
So he's 15-1-1,
but there's really no
real shame in at least going
all 12 and losing a split
decision to the guy who's got the belt on.
That's not the worst thing in the world, and it lines you
up for a rematch, unless that guy gets
beat up by Tyson before you get a chance
to. Then you have to fight Mike, which is a different fight.
That's a problem.
That's a problem.
So January 17th, 1986 at the Omni in Atlanta, he fights Purcell Magic Davis.
Yeah.
Magic's is not his middle name.
It's his nickname.
His mother didn't name him Magic.
He's 13 and three coming in Magic.
And he is 15 and 16 career.
So 13 and three. And then he goes 2-13 the rest of the way.
That is fucking crazy.
Stop fighting.
At what point do you go, yeah, I'm not good at this anymore?
At last 10.
And this goes all 10 rounds.
Unanimous decision in 10.
So he's 16-1-1, and winning this fight, even in the non-impressive fashion he did,
sets him up for a fight with Mike Tyson in May of 1986.
He beats Berbick before this, Tyson does,
and this is before Tyson beats Berbick.
This is the springboard to Berbick. Got it. If Tyson beats Mitch Green, he gets to fight burbick okay this is this is uh this is the springboard to burbick got it if tyson
beats if tyson beats uh mitch green he gets to fight burbick if mitch green beats tyson mitch
gets to fight burbick again got it which i think mitch has earned a rematch on his own i think so
like going all 12 and getting a split decision but still he's got to fight tyson this is tyson's
coming out party this is when he just is known to the public they're releasing like uh promo videos of
him you know all of his like quick knockouts and like people are going holy shit who the hell is
this guy boxing and one yeah he was i can't express to you how much how fast and how uh just
with what how much force he burst upon the scene not just of, of pop culture. He was just, if a guy is that amazing of a fighter,
like that bad of a dude, it captures everybody's attention.
It's so fucking strange.
His boxing career was so fast.
Well, it lasted a long time, but his peak was so fast.
Did it really last that long, though?
Well, I mean, he was fighting until goddamn 10 years ago.
Was he?
Fuck yeah.
He kept going and going and going and going.
Yeah, Tyson kept fighting and fighting. He needed to pay his his taxes i think the last one i saw was a holy field
i'm not no jesus he fought a bunch after that after that oh god yeah he was fighting all the
francois both as of the world and all those guys that was that fucking way after christ was that
after oh yeah he was fighting those bums after that like the the lennox lewis lennox lewis fight
wasn't until 2002 really yeah that wasn't until oh. Really? Yeah, that wasn't until 2002. Ear biting was before that?
Ear biting was 97.
Jesus.
So, yeah.
Good Lord.
That was five years before that.
But this is Tyson's...
He's just this kid.
He's like 19 years old right now.
Like, he's just the freak kid.
He doesn't even have the Nintendo game out yet.
Yeah, that's true.
Punch-Out hasn't even come out yet.
That's how fucking...
This is crazy. 86. Right on the cusp cusp punch out's about to come out though in the next couple
months when he wins the world title and everyone knows who he is punch out then comes out pretty
much immediately uh but tyson's 20 and 0 coming into this fight uh mitch says quote if i knock
this guy out i get burbick when i fought burbick i was inactive for a year i only had
seven days to train i don't know if that's true or not if he only had seven days to train for
burbick or not but not only did the public not know who mike tyson was boxers didn't know who
mike tyson was because he has no idea he's about to fight maybe the greatest heavyweight of all
time all he's seen is he's fought a but i never heard of that guy he beat never heard of that guy
that guy sucks so he just sees that same.
I beat the fuck the same as me.
They don't see like, oh, shit, that you could feel his punches in the fourth row.
Holy shit.
Like this guy punches like nobody else in history.
There's no idea.
No, none.
So they're at the press conference.
Green tells Tyson, who's standing right there, quote, I have to burst your bubble.
If that man whoops me and I don't have to burst your bubble uh if that man whoops
me and i don't mean no judge judge's decision if he whoops me i will quit boxing this is do or die
for me so mitch is threatening to quit this is a wrestling promo if i can't beat hulk hogan at
summer slam i will retire i'm not having this shit i think rick flair did this like 14 times
if i don't beat vader i'm retiring sorry jason fuller's getting loaded up
today so uh yeah so uh uh tyson if he wins this is in line for a november match with burbick
so this is to get tyson to the title uh so tyson though he says uh because his last fight was a
decision tyson it was his first non-knockout so he says he wants to start a new knockout streak mike said and he says tyson says quote you can expect a knockout uh here he says
for green's sake i hope he's in the best shape of his life if he happens to make any mistake he'll
find out how good how it feels to get knocked down for the first time so tyson's talking shit
they're both talking shit grace oh boy let's just say this is grace here for Mitch.
This Mitch's whole everything.
This is grace.
This is Tyson is just boy.
Tyson just threatened him.
And that's great.
That's great.
Yeah, that's good.
Now, back story to this Tyson fight.
And this is important because this is pretty much his whole reason for being crazy his
whole life is starts with this.
He signs up for the fight, and he is to receive.
Mitch is under the impression that he is receiving a $50,000 payday for this fight.
$50,000.
But on the day of the weigh-in, he says he found out he's only getting $30,000.
Yeah, $30,000.
You're only getting $30,000. Sorry. You30,000. You're only getting $30, sorry.
You and Grady Daniels have to scrap for it in the
parking lot over that bindle and whoever wins gets
$30 at a bindle, at mac and cheese.
Enjoy.
You gotta get an oven. I'm gonna take that $30
from that young man, I'll tell you right now.
He was pissed, obviously.
Super pissed and then he
found out what Tyson was getting for the fight
which was slightly more than $30,000. six fifty yeah so a little bit more uh he
was super fucking i'd be fucking livid he was really low because tyson wasn't a champ they were
both fucking contenders he's like hold on a second here we're both contenders he was number rank
number seven blood was so he's like well what the fuck here i should get at least half of what he's
getting i understand that his name is something at, what the fuck here? I should get at least half of what he's getting.
I understand that his name is something at this point a little bit, but I should get half.
But he was pissed.
So he said that he wasn't going to show up for the fight.
That's it.
I ain't coming then.
Fuck you. And this is like a huge fight that's set for Madison Square Garden.
Oh, boy.
It's a big deal, this fight.
And he said, I'm not going to fucking show up.
Madison Square Garden.
Oh, boy.
It was a big deal, this fight.
And he said, I'm not going to fucking show up.
So the New York State Athletic Commission told him that if he didn't show up, his boxing license would be revoked in the state of New York.
Because they already agreed.
Not okay to do.
You don't want your license revoked in New York and Nevada.
You need your license if you want to fight here.
That was Tyson's problem forever.
That's why he was fighting in Europe and shit, because New York or Vegas or Nevada wouldn't
license him.
Usually, Jersey follows New York, so you're fucked. So he said, fuck, I got to go through with it. fighting in europe and shit because new york or vegas or nevada wouldn't license him usually jersey
follows new york so you're fucked uh so he said fuck i gotta go through with it so he went through
with it he said i gotta show up he shows up may 20th 1986 madison square garden 20 and 0 for tyson
this is his first real kind of challenge you're saying blood could give him problems he's a tall
guy because it's a match of styles yeah blood's a tall guy long arms jabber
i've seen this hooks yeah and tyson is short and and stocky and and is way different clash of
styles it's it's one of those things we're like i wonder what will happen when those two things go
together fun this should be interesting this goes all 10 rounds yeah so tyson did not want this to
go 10 rounds because his last fight went to decision but mitch is a frustrating son of a
bitch and he'll tie you up and he'll he knew how to fight tyson and not get knocked out basically Did not want this to go 10 rounds because his last fight went to decision. But Mitch is a frustrating son of a bitch.
And he'll tie you up.
And he knew how to fight Tyson and not get knocked out, basically.
He did a good job of that.
At this point, to not get knocked out by Tyson is a huge win in my book, anyway.
Tyson wins a unanimous decision.
Brutal.
But still, I mean, you survived.
He's knocking everybody out.
He couldn't knock me out.
So that's something to hang your hat on and something to say later on. Hey, why shouldn't I get a shot with him. He couldn't knock me out. So that's something to hang your hat on and something to say later on.
Hey, why shouldn't I get a shot with him?
He couldn't knock me out.
I went the distance.
So he's 16-2-1 now.
But he took so many fucking heavy punches.
Oh, my God.
He had to.
Oh, he did.
He took blows.
He took a lot of shit from Tyson.
That was a tough fight.
I watched that fight as a kid.
It was a brutal fight.
86 later on, he gets a couple of drunk driving charges, by the way.
He gets a couple of those.
Oh, no.
We can't even keep up with his... We're not even going to deal with his traffic and his drunk driving.
That's how much arrests end the future.
Boxing's almost over, pretty much.
It's all police from now on.
There's so much that we can't even get into the traffic shit.
Jesus.
Because unless he crashes, we don't have time into the traffic shit because it's unless he crashes we
don't have time for it is he drinking to numb the pain still like he's still in pain from getting
hit by tyson i feel like he's drinking today to numb the pain still probably that's not the last
time he'll get hit by tyson as we'll talk about uh december 1986 uh he's scheduled to box uh he's
scheduled to fight bone crusher sm James Bone Crusher Smith in December
of 86 it's the undercard of the
Tim Witherspoon Tony Tubbs world heavyweight
title fight here because he had one of the
belts I think Tony Tubbs or Witherspoon
one of them doesn't matter
I think that's why I remember Tubbs
well I think Tyson beat Tubbs for one of the belts
so I think Tubbs whatever it doesn't
matter one of he was either champ or about to win
it here so Tubbs ended up dropping out due to an injury really yeah so bone crusher ends up and uh ends up
winning the title then and then he's not going to fight mitch green after that so then he's fucked
so he's got no fight after that so mitch green is waiting on this fight that gets somebody else
stepped into an injury slot and now that now his fight is fucked so now his upcoming payday that he was depending
on is fucked damn it he only made 30 grand for the tyson fight and 30 grand you might say well
in 86 you could make that stretch well you got to pay your trainer you got to pay this you got to
pay that training is expensive you have a bunch of dudes you have to pay to help you too it's a lot
so you know not to mention food and gym and all
this shit it's cost money to train you're not working because you're training it's hard you
have to eat like a maniac tons yeah so not just frozen mac and cheese not that so august 28th
1987 uh he is uh arrested here he's in harlem and he's arrested and charged with driving without a valid license and we'll
find out why he has no valid license he should never have a license i wouldn't even mention this
unless he was also caught with uh with possession of a controlled substance which was pcp he's not
fucking around no coke no shit pc fucking p baby dust me up yeah and this is like i don't know when everybody grew up but
this is like pre my time this is like real pcp yeah this was like a different time like when i
grew up it was you get dust which was not pcp this is manson's pcp yeah exactly this is like pc
fucking p like real pcp like this should be in, this is whatever made Rodney King keep getting up for somebody like this is
not be broken in half.
This is what has fueled his.
Can we all just get along?
That's what I mean.
Like it's what fueled him not dying and just,
you know,
it was lucky he was on PCP for Christ's sake.
I remember when I was a kid,
they said that there were,
the cops were beating up Rodney King and people were like well he was on pcp i was like fuck thank god
if he wasn't they'd have killed the fucking guy glad he was on pcp so thank god he's a junkie
jesus fucking if he wasn't strong from the pcp he'd have been in more trouble than he was in
so fuck man shit so every kids out there take your pcp is what i'm saying get your flint
vitamin get your pcp in the 90s pcp was like dust was just like you know it was like formaldehyde
soaked fucking tea leaves basically that you'd sprinkle on a blunt and smells like magic marker
and you get fucking you get like way stoned like that that's all it was. Everybody did that, right? Yeah. Okay, good.
That wasn't just a...
That's true.
It's pretty common.
It's common.
Sherman sticks was just...
This is what it is.
This is dipped.
This is dipped.
Yeah.
This was dipped.
Yeah, you'd put this and roll it.
Same thing.
Same shit.
So, yeah.
It's really fucking high, though.
Oh, it's like weed times 20 ridiculous but in a weird way yeah
i don't recommend it no do not do that it's kind of fun at the time i'm just saying but it was
don't do it though it's now so because you know i did it one time yeah the first day after that i
did a lot more so it was good it was fun i actually I actually smoked it. I'll tell you.
Here's an inside story.
I was 16 years old.
I had my permit, driver's permit.
I had to go to the dentist.
And I forgot I had a dentist appointment.
And I smoked a fucking dusted blunt with my friends.
And then my dad was like, yeah, it's time to go to your dentist appointment.
You're driving.
This is going to be fun.
So I had to drive dusted and stone with my
father at 16 years old i didn't even i couldn't drive i didn't even have a license like i didn't
wasn't a good driver and i couldn't be like nah you better drive i've had a few i've been smoking
dusts all day like you better drive so i couldn't tell him that so i had to be like yeah sure
no problem don't do that on the chair they're got to sit down in the chair and they're like, we're going to numb you. And you're like, don't worry, I don't feel shit.
I'm covered, brother.
You got this.
You seen the Rodney King tapes?
I'm good.
You can cut them out.
I don't care.
I wouldn't notice.
So, yeah, don't ever do that, by the way.
I wouldn't do that now, obviously.
But at 16, I was rocking a hard place.
I didn't know any better.
So, yeah, a police spokesman said that Green was stopped at 124th Street and 7th Avenue,
which is not a good neighborhood back then, after he was seen driving while watching a
small television set on the dashboard of his car.
He's got it.
No.
Back then, it was those little things with the antenna that you got to pull out of them.
You may be saying, yeah, people have that shit all the time.
Not in 1987.
People didn't just have a television, a CRT fucking TV on the goddamn dashboard of their car.
That was a what the hell is this asshole doing moment and a reason to pull somebody over.
For sure.
And yeah, when he has PCP on him and you go, I wonder what this guy's on watching that TV.
Oh, dust.
That's what he's on.
Records show that at this point, his license.
Now, I don't know if this slice, it says license has been suspended, but I believe they mean citations 54 times.
Holy shit.
For traffic shit.
This is what I mean.
We can't get into that.
How do you get pulled over?
Fifty, fifty seven, fifty four times.
What?
I can't even I can't even get into all those because we'd be
here all night that's not too long uh so that is august 28th 1987 september 6th uh 1987 he's
arrested again uh charged with drunk driving and disorderly conduct they didn't pull him over and
figure out he was drunk uh he got this i mean. It's all his own stupidity.
He refused to pay a $2 toll on the bridge.
Oh, for Christ's sake.
He refused to pay the...
Why are you not going to pay the bridge toll?
What makes you think that you're not going to have to pay the bridge toll?
Why do you think you're going to get away with that?
A million cars go through there a day.
Everybody pays the fucking bridge toll.
What makes you think that,
I don't have to pay the bridge toll.
Fuck these people. You can't get away. No. It's a fucking bridge toll what makes you think that i don't have to pay the bridge toll fuck these people you can't get away no it's a fucking bridge you're on a brit and you're coming off the
bridge you can get away and they go yeah that guy driving away that one right there yeah go get him
it's pretty fucking simple and that's what he did so rather than just drive away he decided he wanted
to argue out this fact and got out of his car and began harassing officers at the toll plaza.
Oh, my God.
So these poor toll officers just go $2, $2, $2, a million straight times.
Their souls are dead.
Right.
They're trying to put their minds somewhere else.
And this guy's going to come out and argue the relevancy or the validity of a fucking toll bridge.
You're like, dude, I didn't set the price, bro.
And they don't
even say that they just go two dollars and yeah because that's the only thing they have on loop
if anybody stops and says how's your day they're gonna go two dollars what what's your name two
dollars i mean i don't even fucking know right now catch me after my shift right now two dollars
it's all i know so this idiot begins harassing so when you're drunk and you're driving, you usually want to keep it, I would assume, low key.
I don't drink really, so I don't know the drunk driving protocol.
But I would assume low key would be blend in.
Don't make a scene.
It would be number one what to do.
This idiot instead says, I'm going to get out of the car and start harassing people about $2.
Christ's sake.
So, yeah, he ends up being arrested from that obviously sure uh they
say police at this point say that his license has been suspended he's had this is now 55 traffic
violations his license has been suspended 36 times i don't know how your license gets suspended
i guess once it's suspended and you get another shit it's like re-suspended so they just keep
counting that as suspensions because it can't be suspended then reinstated 36 times it's got to be re-suspended he's 30 years
old how many twice a year he gets it because he's only been driving for 14 years so at the most and
in new york city it's 18 to drive so your license in new york city so this son of a bitch is really
getting it suspended a lot three suspensions and reinstatements per year,
which I don't think he's going through all the court paperwork to get the reinstatements done.
So I'm going to go ahead and say that's just...
They're just like, it's now suspended again.
Yeah.
The wait is over.
So far, you're not losing.
The only thing you're losing is my patience.
Quickly, I see that.
Ding!
The queen of the courtroom is back.
I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her.
A-lo.
Okay, so, um...
This is not a so. This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
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So that's September 6th, 1987.
Now October 29th, 1987.
This has never had this in crime and sports before a first for crime
and sports everybody uh he is charged with robbery and grand larceny okay uh for uh taking over a gas
station and selling gas to the motorists and pocketing the cash no one's ever even thought
to do this you do that you just go to a business yeah you punch whoever's running the cash no one's ever even thought to do this you do that you just go to a business yeah you
punch whoever's running the cash register and then you just pretend you work there and when
people come and hand you money you go thank you and you put it in your pocket that's what you do
50 on three sure enough he didn't didn't just give me what you have in the register he said
and i'm gonna hang out for a while and collect on your future business also this is robbery to the next level so yeah there's a gas station it's on grand
central parkway he pulls into his 19 with his 1979 lincoln yeah his big pimp mobile he pulls in
and tells the attendant on duty to fill his tank uh he says when the attendant tried to collect
the money that's when mitch refused to pay and threatened to beat him up instead.
He won't even pay for tolls.
Never mind gas.
So this man flees the station because he's a giant man.
And this guy is not a giant.
He's a little foreigner guy, too.
22-13.
Go ask the guy on the turnpike what I paid for that.
Yeah, exactly.
Go ask him.
See if you're going to get your money.
Cost me five grand in lawyer fees for that two two dollars so this guy goes and calls the police so while this is going on because
in 87 in new york it takes a while for the cops to come it's got shit to do it's a fucking disaster
too uh so he ends up staying at the station yeah and pumping gas and collecting the money from
people he's working a shift james people are like can, can I get 20 on 5? He's like, no problem.
Types it up, takes their money, they pump, he just puts it in his pocket.
I wonder if he put like a little station, like a smock on a little...
A Unicol 76 or something.
Yeah, yeah.
It says like fucking Patel on it, and he's trying to put it over his frame.
He's got one arm in the sleeve.
The 5'7 afternoon guy.
Look, it usually wears it.
So, eventually, the attendant returns to the station to see what's going on.
And he sees him fucking just operating it.
And he's like, what the fuck is that?
Because no one has ever done that in the history.
If you can surprise a gas station attendant in New York in 1987 with a robbery technique, you're doing something.
Because they're all like, you know, it's all like the simpsons apu joke where he's been robbed 700 all of they get robbed
every day no one's ever said and i'm gonna stay here and just run your business he just said i'm
gonna take over your business he thought he took it he did it like it was a drug corner like it's
mine now i'm selling this shit all this gas is mine now like you can't do that in a legitimate
business it's pretty awesome, though.
It's a good idea.
I've never heard of anyone else do it.
That's why I'm like, this is the most original crime I've ever heard.
And all of crimedom.
I've never heard of this ever.
It's amazing.
Jesus Christ.
It's like stealing somebody's paper out and just delivering all the paper.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
This is bananas.
No, no, I got this.
Okay. It's weird you're supposed to just throw the papers in the trash and collect the money and leave he's just like
dude ran away i own a gas station now cool like this is mitch green's gas station who wants blood
gas come on in i'm gonna change the sign one day one day blood gas it's coming so the attendant
returns to the station to see a cab driver paying mitch green
with a hundred dollar bill for gas so the attendant yells to the cab driver that mitch
that doesn't work here don't give him your money i work here look at my shirt like he obviously
doesn't work here so the drive the cab driver snatched the money back from mitch's hand the
hundred that he just gave him so then mitch became super fucking mad yeah and punched the driver in the face as the police car pulled into the station oh no they pulled in
just in time to see a man snatch his hundred back and mitch sock a cab driver over taking money back
for gas that mitch doesn't own so how dare he it's pretty awesome how dare that cab driver do that
so the police got out and they were like dude really
mitch is like i'm selling gas sir i got a legitimate business it's called a job
i expect a paycheck at the end of the week mister no no this is once you start working
yeah you get like squatters rights i'm the manager now i've been the manager for at least three hours
it's squatters rights once you go in somewhere and you start working, they just have to pay you.
That's how it works.
I took it over, but now they got to pay me.
This better contribute to my social security.
So, yeah, that's do I pay FICA on this shit or what?
So, yeah, this is the craziest crime.
I love it in the world.
So if you think it can't get crazier for Mitch.
Oh, it's about to get a lot fucking crazier uh august 23rd 1988 it's 4 a.m on 125th street in harlem oh boy so obviously good
things are always going to happen at that point city never sleeps james well you know and it's
not sleeping because uh mike tyson is in town he lives there and he is picking up a leather jacket
at four o'clock in the morning from a boutique called Dapper Dan's.
I'm sorry.
Dapper Dan's, they have regular store hours, but they'll be there all night if you're Mike Tyson and celebrities and shit like that.
So he is there to pick up an $850 leather jacket that he's ordered.
It is a don't believe the hype is stitched on the back of
it. That's what he wants.
So he's getting a leather jacket
and he's going there.
Apparently it gets around the neighborhood
that Mike is in the neighborhood
and Mitch hears that Mike
is in the neighborhood. It's 4 a.m. Obviously
Mitch is awake and hopped up on PCP
and you know trying off his midnight
shift looking just off his
shift at the gas station i just wrapped up boy that was a long long day i reek of just this
fucking 93 octane it's really weird jesus christ so mitch it's 4 a.m he's hopped up on pcp i'm sure
he's like mike's here yeah cool hops in his 79 continental and drives over
to dapper dan's and hops out of the car and runs in there to confront mike tyson about what who the
fuck knows this is pre-youtube what's the point of this this is amazing it's so funny when later
on when they interview the guy who was running the store at the time he's like i got pictures
i took pictures right away and i'm like it's 87 he had a fucking camera the time. He's like, I got pictures. I took pictures right away. And I'm like, it's 87. He had a fucking camera, a 110,
where he was like, zip, zip, afterwards.
Click, click, click, click.
He was doing, oh shit, I'm out of flashbulbs.
I gotta take this one off and plug this one in.
Super weird, no phones.
So anyway, this whole thing, there's multiple stories.
I got so many pictures of this,
we're gonna wait two weeks to get it back yeah in two weeks i'll show you guys so many great awesome if they come out too i won't
know if they came out right there could have been big light exposure we don't know fingers crossed
it's gonna be awesome fingers crossed in two weeks we got great images so cool so there's multiple
stories of how this happened yeah i'm
gonna not take tyson's or mitch green's word i'll i'm gonna say what the manager of the store said
because he's the only person that has no stake in this you know he has no no dog in this fight
right uh he says mitch green came in aggressive as fuck sure he came in yelling at mike tyson
calling him out saying you stole money from me don king stole money from me i'll
whoop your ass i could have fucked you up before the only reason i didn't beat your ass is because
i was pissed about the money so i didn't really fight but if we fought again i'll fuck you up
and blah blah blah got in mike's face and apparently uh uh like kind of push punched
tyson in the chest and ripped the pocket of his shirt when he did it. Not good.
Like Andre the Giant on Hulk Hogan in 87 on Piper's Pit.
Jason Fuller, you are fucking living large today.
So he rips his shirt a little bit,
and Mike, at that point,
apparently said,
I've had about enough of this shit,
and fucking clocked him in the head,
and Mitch went down like a ton of shit.
Uh-oh.
Because like I've said a million times
Mike Tyson with fucking boxing gloves on is a dangerous person right I've seen him knock
heavyweight fighters off their feet with arm punches punches to their arm not even a punch
and knock them out or broke their ribs it's just the force of it knock them over 200 something
bound men who are well versed in balance and he just knocks him down and defending
against a punch and defending against him doesn't matter just wide stance and everything balls of
their feet bullshit this guy if he hits you with a bare fist that's why people were when you talk
shit about ufc and i just went yeah there's never going to be a mike tyson of ufc because when
tyson's heyday if he was was in UFC, he would have a trail
of dead bodies behind him. He'd be arrested
for murder. He would be blowing people's
skulls apart. Even if you,
well, if you tackle him, yeah, if you tackle him, then he's
within arm's reach of you and he can
wail on your ribcage. It's a dangerous
place to be. He can wail on your ribcage
till he can reach inside and pull your lungs out.
Are you fucking kidding me? Like, you don't want this
guy punching you at all. So he hits him one time and then apparently mike stands over him a little
bit and roughs him up a little bit more oh jesus mike had his boys around him too so then they kind
of get involved and get in between him and mitch the guy just said mitch he just sees mitch's feet
up in the air as he's down he goes and i got a picture i took a picture it's mitch's feet up in
the air and that's all you could see is like mike's like leaned over him with a bunch of people and then mitch's feet
just sticking up in the air this guy's interview is awesome on the news it's fucking amazing
this was on the news in new york the same coverage as 9-11 it was insane new york news in the 80s
was the fucking best it was the best it was like you know a 12-story apartment building burned
to the ground 42 people dead 39 of them infants and two celebrities fought in the street it was
like and john gatti threw a giant barbecue it was like a it was the best news in the world it was
crazy shit happening pun headlines all that shit when you grow up in new york you think it's the
center of the world because so much crazy shit's happening there you're like well nothing could be
happening anywhere else because it's clearly all happening can't be crazier than
this i guess you know that's why people think like that so uh apparently though he fucked mitch up
good he gets out and leaves and then mitch chases after the car after that uh there's conflicting
reports about whether he got a tire iron out of his car and chased it on foot but he was at least
punching the car with his fists and kicking at it as they're driving away uh tyson ends up with a hairline fracture of a finger yeah on his right hand yeah
which is bad because he's got a fight coming up so he's gonna have to drop out of this fight with
frank bruno it's a fracture of the third metacarpal uh his uh his one of his managers said it's not of
a serious nature but it will be kept in a cast to make sure nothing happens to it dr chu has said
the cast will come off in three weeks at which time he will determine if the bruno fight can
take place so uh he was training earlier in the day tyson and then apparently was there
going to pick up a leather jacket uh now according to the police because this ends up being a police
matter mitch green receives five stitches to close a cut above his eye uh but i cannot
describe to you what his face looked like yeah i can't describe you're like there's no way that's
from a punch it looks like he stuck his face out in the road and somebody hit it with an suv that's
what it fucking looks like like at 40 they're like no no just do it he just sticks his face out
i just got it just got it fucking wet Get me right in the fucking eye. Pow.
That's what it looks like.
I've seen that.
The picture?
Yeah.
That picture in New York was everywhere.
So that was this.
That was this fight.
That is one punch from Mike Tyson at four o'clock in the morning.
Don't fucking get hit by Mike Tyson.
I thought that shit was in a bar.
I didn't realize it was over a leather jacket.
It wasn't even about the leather jacket. It was in a fucking clothing store.
No, I always thought it was online in a nightclub or outside of a nightclub.
It was just about I want to fight you.
Yeah.
Good.
You're going to get your chance.
That's it.
So Tyson, Mitch does file a complaint against him, too, for this.
He's going to be charged with simple assault.
Green's attorney said, quote, as Mitch described it to me,
Tyson was moving the rings on his finger around
so there'd be as much part of the punch
to rip up his face, is what he said,
which he'd have more than five stitches if he did that.
Tyson says about this,
he said that Mitch ripped his shirt
and, quote, hit me in the chest.
He says, quote, he was upset.
I guess I hit him over the eye i was
nervous i hadn't had a street fight in seven years i was scared uh we fought one time he had a bad
deal on his purse and didn't make that great deal of money yeah so yeah he said quote he hit me
first i hit back and the fight was over faster than sphinx which is funny it's a guy knocked
out in 90 seconds that was a lot of words with s's in them oh yeah yeah he people were like jesus christ as the front row wiped their faces off so uh he said green
filed a criminal complaint against me as a cheap publicity stunt also he probably wants his medical
bills paid yeah i would assume probably not like to pay for that that hospital visit yeah uh later
on he issued a public statement mike tyson, where he said he would fight Green anytime, anywhere, anyplace.
He said, quote, I will teach him a lesson in the ring that he should have learned already.
He's a punk and a true coward who tried to hide behind both the media and the police.
If he means what he said to the media, let him drop these phony charges and be a man
for once and we'll settle this in the ring, which is interesting.
Mitch's response is, quote, I was in Manhattan, 105th Street.
They told me Tyson was in Dapper Dan's.
I went over there to see for myself.
When I got there, he was there with a lot of his friends.
I approached him. I said, Mike, what are you doing here?
What's up? I told him when I fought him in
86, I didn't fight him that night because
Don King cheated me out of money. Tyson
said that he did beat me. He said, we can do
this now. I said, do what?
We walked outside. He said, we can do this now. I said, do what? We walked outside.
He said, we can do this now to make up for that fight we had back then.
I said, what?
At that moment, he was fixing his rings on his hand
like brass knucks.
He sucker punched me.
I tried to get him and his friends held me.
He never knocked me down.
He shook his hand like a little sissy and ran.
This is what he said.
But this face tells a much different tale yeah his face
tells a tale of i was definitely unconscious for at least a second like i was down and the store
manager said it was inside right oh yeah yeah no he said it was inside this all happened yeah he
said it went outside why are you gonna go over there to see yeah like if mike tyson's really in
town and he acted like he was like I didn't go there to fight him.
No, I was like, why are you here, homie?
What?
What do you mean?
What fight?
What are you talking about?
I was just talking shit to you about fighting you.
I was just talking shit saying I didn't really fight you that hard and I could beat you.
I didn't think you'd get mad and want to fight me over that.
I made a purpose to come over here today.
What was that fucking purpose?
What's that about?
So August 26th, 1988.
This is very close after that, he drops the legal, he drops the charges
against Mike Tyson in hopes of getting a fight against Mike Tyson the next year.
It's like, that's the deal.
That's the deal, apparently, from what he said, Don King told him, or Don King's people,
I'm sure it wasn't Don King, told him, if you drop the charges, we can set something
up with you and Mike and do all of that. This, of course, is bullshit. They're just saying that to get him you drop the charges, we can set something up with you and Mike and you know, do all of that.
This, of course, is bullshit.
Yeah, they're just saying that to get him to drop the charges.
So yeah, obviously he withdraws the charge after receiving what he calls subtle pressure
from Tyson's friends and family and a letter of intent from Tyson's manager saying that
a fight between the two could be negotiated if Green achieves a top 10 ranking. we'll talk about he's gonna have a hard time doing that while he's constantly being
arrested now uh Green's mother Shelly here uh she says that uh uh she says that uh uh Tyson's
Tyson's a friend of Tyson's and one of Green's former managers put pressure
on him, apparently. She knows
him and knows Tyson and all this sort of thing
and was like, you can't press charges on him.
It was really weird.
Green said afterwards,
quote, this man hit me and hurt me.
I don't want him to get away with that.
I don't know. He's going to let him get away
with it legally, at least.
Maybe not.
Maybe not in the ring eventually.
If he has to pick up a hoodie somewhere, he's going to have to.
I got to pick up a parka going on here.
So, fuck.
So, yeah, he said that he wanted further assurance that he would get a Tyson fight.
But he was finally persuaded by his lawyers to drop the charges.
And that was the only way he would be able to do this.
Well, he got no proof of what happened apart from you went to somewhere at 4 a.m. and what appears to have accosted a man.
And also, there's a witness saying that you started it.
You came in there popping your mouth off and then ripping a man's shirt.
You don't really have a case.
Yeah, and the guy was like, I mean mean he said mike was trying not to fight him he goes man he goes but you know
you rip a guy's shirt he goes he'd have done what any man would have done and he goes especially
mike tyson he's not gonna take that from somebody the way the guy said he goes he's not gonna take
that from somebody he just clocked him he goes it happened so fast too he goes i couldn't even get a
picture because i guess he had his camera when it started going on he goes it happened so fast i
couldn't even get the punch in the picture because it was just over he goes he's standing there one
minute the next picture is just mitch green's feet up in the air and that was just two fast
clicks that's all it was and then bing ring ring uh so green after he drops the charges comes out
of the police station happy as shit he says quote believe the hype believe the hype mitch green's
got a title fight oh boy he comes out and says that uh yeah he. Mitch Green's got a title fight. Oh, boy.
He comes out and says that.
Yeah.
He says that he's got to fight and beat someone already in the top ten to qualify.
And he said, No problem.
I got that covered.
So, yeah, this is all about his whole life.
This will be his thing.
I want to fight Mike Tyson.
Don King robbed me his whole entire fucking life uh now tyson's manager bill caton said quote there may be some validity to his claim he did win
two rounds in their first fight which is pretty good against mike if he gets himself in shape he
could be a very competitive opponent which he did yeah it was a pretty good fight for mike it wasn't
bad he didn't get knocked out he did win a. Why not? Why doesn't he deserve a rematch?
So September 21st, 1988 is right after that.
He's on top of the world.
He's arrested.
Arrested in a big way, too.
God damn it, Mitch.
God damn it, Mitch is right.
On charges of disorderly conduct after police found him, quote, ranting and raving and acting irrationally on a Harlem street.
God damn it.
He is shirtless
yeah by the way nothing he does there's never a shirt on he never has a shirt on ever he can't
afford one he he always has like a jacket but no shirt so he unzips his jacket and he's shirtless
and he whips the weirdest thing he's always shirtless it's so fucking weird he's like
like patrick swayze or something he's like
never has a shirt on matthew mcconaughey it's ridiculous man he jumped out of his car shirtless
in the middle of the street and began yeah yeah black you mcconaughey that's what he is that's
just but but frightening because he knows how to fight right mcconaughey is not a fighter zero sex
appeal just all vicious.
Just McConaughey.
I don't see anybody being afraid of him.
Put your fucking shirt on, asshole.
Get back in your fucking Lincoln
and drive away talking to yourself.
Get the fuck out of here.
I saw you with AIDS.
Yeah.
I'm not afraid of you anymore.
Whereas Mitch, they'd be like,
what was that, sir?
What are you saying?
That is...
Yeah.
No, they...
Don King's an...
Wow, what a dick.
He owes you. you deserve a title
fight sir look at the time i gotta get going now so uh he apparently jumps from his car shirtless
in the middle of the street and begins ranting violently about mike tyson yeah uh he just stopped
his car he was so angry that he stopped his car in the middle of the street, not in front of his house or anything, just out there and took his shirt off and wanted to tell everyone about it.
Shirtless.
I was driving, but I got something more important to talk about.
Unbelievable.
He began ranting violently, saying that Tyson won't give him a rematch and it's bullshit.
He's getting fucked over.
So the cops pull up and they're like hey
dummy you haven't had a license since 1979 stupid uh he's charged with driving with a suspended
license and oh also seventh degree criminal possession of a controlled substance because
he's got guess what on pcp obviously he's got pcp on him come on jimmy what do you think he's doing
out there in the middle of the night that'll do it demons cranking well his demons are awfully cranked up because he was so disruptive that
they called in emergency services unit because they were like maybe this is a medical problem
like he's so crazy this might not even be a criminal issue this might be a medical problem
they were forced to use a 50 000 volt taser on him to subdue him after police were unable to arrest him because he was
running around swinging his arms around like a maniac they're like we're not going to shoot
mitch green are we like this isn't good we can't shoot him like i guess it's gonna take a lot of
ammo to bring him down anyway let him run or give him a couple laps around the block every clear
everybody just give him some space and then we're gonna zap him once when he's tired and we'll see
how that works we gotta let him run himself out he's like a baby he's just gonna we
gotta let him run him down he's just all his energy he's never gonna fucking go away at that
point himself out a little bit he's gotta tire himself out that's how it goes so uh yeah so that
that this this is a prolific 11 day period he's entering right now or 10 day period it's
quite prolific uh that's september 21st ranting and raving he's entering right now or 10 day period. It's quite prolific.
Uh,
that's September 21st ranting and raving.
He's hit with a stun gun.
Right.
You think this would cool you down for at least a week.
It'll open up your brain a little bit.
It's like,
I got stunned.
Like you think you'd go home and chill out and probably not act crazy for at
least a week while the stun wound is still fresh in your fucking belly.
Right.
You start to feel like you need to go crazy. You look and go oh yeah i probably shouldn't do that that hurt yeah that
was stupid well that was a bad day that was september 21st september 24th yeah three days
later he's arrested again uh this time for third degree degree assault after his girlfriend a
gatson bellaris uh complained to police that Green had beaten her severely. God damn it.
Fucking Jesus Christ. Were you having fun
with him till now? Yeah. So,
yeah, he claimed that Mitch, she
claimed that Mitch struck her, causing pain
to her chest and arm. I guess he was beating
her in the, not in the face. Yeah.
Type of thing. Police found
Green on a Harlem street corner
and took him to the local precinct.
Screaming about Mike Tyson.
Well, actually, green on a harlem street corner and took him to the local precinct screaming about mike tyson well actually you're not far off my friend okay when they arrested him he became violent at the station
freaked out screaming and ranting about mike tyson and don king not letting him have a rematch and
they stole his money so much so that he was moved to a hospital for psychiatric
evaluation he tyson is in his head like a fucking disease she it's it's like a like a like an ear
wig just fucking in his brain it's laid eggs and he just can't stop the words mike and tyson
he can't eat tyson fucking butter no gotta eat the
butterball turkey anybody named mike no good doesn't talk into microphones nope he won't do
it what do you got there it's a it's a voice what it'll do is amplify your your voice that's a mic
through a series of two shit no no it's a voice mikeification system where if you put it, it just shoots it out through speakers.
See, that's how it works.
So she claims he struck her, all that stuff.
He is taken to a hospital for psychiatric evaluation.
That's September 24th.
So in three days, he has been taken psychologically by force twice.
Right.
Not great.
Okay.
At this point for being crazy and for no reason.
And then striking your girlfriend, which is even stupider.
So October 2nd, 88, a fucking week later, he drove his automobile, his 79 Lincoln Continental
into a parked car in Queens early in the morning, obviously on a Saturday night, late night
Saturday, and was arrested for suspicion of drunk driving.
Obviously, third arrest in 11 days.
He lost control of his vehicle, crashed into a parked car.
According to police, when they got him out of the car,
or when they pulled up, he was just standing next to the car.
A crashed car.
Look what Mike Tyson did.
Don King crashed my car, and now he won't pay for it.
Did I mention he canceled the insurance a couple months ago because he couldn't afford the monthly payments?
My Tyson suspended my license.
Don King got no insurance, man.
Wow.
He was apparently slurring his speech and had alcohol on his breath and appeared lethargic when two officers spotted him at 1 a.m.
standing beside his car staring at him.
He was taken to a police
precinct where of course he was not cooperative right he instead refused to submit to a blood
alcohol test and uh which automatically it's an automatic like year suspension of your driver's
license in new york if you refuse a breathalyzer or drug test or blood test so let's just add that
to the list of suspensions it doesn't even fucking matter he doesn't have one to suspend anyway yeah jesus christ man he was in the station he didn't want
a phone call no he they told him you can call your lawyer and he wouldn't even do that no he
wouldn't answer there he wouldn't even say no uh the one guy one of the cops said quote he's not
saying a word that's all he said he just wouldn't say shit uh he refused to take a chemical breath test and then began quote acting in a way where he was going to hurt himself
or others uh when he was taking to central booking so officials at central booking refused to take
him because he was acting like a fucking maniac so what did they do took him to the hospital for
psychiatric evaluation three times in 11 days he's a lunatic he's a fucking maniac he's out of control he needs
to be committed he needs to be first well let's take him off the pcp for a minute see how he
reacts to that number one i feel like pcp is not going to keep you in your right mind now like as
far as decision making goes and things of that nature might exacerbate any problem that you have
i'm thinking it's gonna yeah push it up toward the surface, whatever you got bubbling down there.
So, yeah, he had no injuries from the accident, but he was taken there.
So, October 1988, he goes to court for the gas station incident.
Oh, boy.
For his commandeering of a gas station.
That was so long ago.
Let's call it.
Yeah.
Doesn't that seem like, like, Jesus, that's not resolved already?
It's less than a year ago.
This just happened.
So much has happened since then.
He was just a contender.
Yeah.
As a world champion, like 20 minutes ago.
What happened?
What the fuck is going on?
Yeah.
So he's in court.
He goes to court to go for that, for robbery and all that.
So outside the court, he, of course, must talk to the reporters.
Of course,
that's just what he does.
He says,
quote,
uh,
while we were standing there arguing,
I saw Mike Tyson twisting the ring.
He's still telling the story,
uh,
ring around his hand.
That's we'll put the cut there.
Uh,
put down,
put down that Mike Tyson is a sissy front page story.
Go ahead and put it down.
I call him Sicily Tyson.
I call him that on my new rap record
he's making a rap record this guy's amazing beautiful he is a crime and sports instant
classic he's doing everything wrong cicely tyson cicely the actress cicely tyson i don't know who
that is season uh at this point an older black woman actress who's a good actress, Cicely Tyson.
It makes sense to call him that, then.
I'm calling it, and it sounds like sissy, too, and it's the name of a famous woman,
so Cicely Tyson.
Okay.
On my new rap record, new crime and sports rule, never make a fucking album if you've
been paid a dime to do anything athletically before you step into a studio.
Yeah.
Is that a fair thing?
Yeah.
Anything.
I don't care if you've gotten paid
for like a pickup lacrosse game one time get out of the studio you don't belong there even roy joined
yeah his song was fine roy jones his song you know it's fine yeah but it's it's in comparison
to actual music that's the thing fucking god awful if you listen to shacks rap albums you're
like i mean it sounds like crappy music but compare it to naz and it sounds like shit yeah those words rhyme and there's a beat i mean
there's a bass you could play it in a car but compare it to you know something good and it's
terrible fooshnaggins is backing him up for a while yeah i mean that's fine so uh that's outside
the courthouse inside the courthouse he goes up tothouse. He goes up to the courtroom, waits in the back row, and then he starts talking about jail to reporters.
And this is where the golden Mitch Green comes out.
Like a delicious, like a Lindenian clam.
That's a good crazy.
That's a good lunatic, I tell you.
Oh, boy.
Oh, it's a nice lunatic.
I boil it up al dente lunatic. Smatic, I tell you. Oh, boy. Oh, it's a nice lunatic. Oh, I boil it up al dente, lunatic.
Mmm, smell, smell.
Wow.
Do you smell the lunacy?
Oh, you can smell it deep here.
Quote, they had me in jail on this case three months until I got bail.
Jail was all right.
I was the grievance counselor.
If a guy couldn't get a shower, they'd come see me.
Somebody wants to make a long-distance collect calls, they come see me. Somebody wants to make a long distance, collect calls.
He asked for me.
I can go anywhere in the jail.
I was running the jail, man.
I'm bad.
I was running it.
I was running the jail, man.
I punched the warden and took over.
That's what I mean.
Don't you know how it works?
I'm in there bringing inmates in and everything.
I was going to say, if you punch the guards and take their keys, then you're the jailer now.
You work there.
Yay.
Look at me.
I got a 401k and everything.
Who wants meals?
Exercise time.
Take a shower.
Look at me.
I'm a jailer.
Unlock, lock, unlock, lock.
Look at me.
Wee.
And he runs around in circles.
Mike Tyson owes me money.
Like a little girl.
Mike Tyson owes me money.
Don King wants some.
Cicely Tyson wants some.
Stop raping that guy.
Hey, lock, lock, unlock.
All right.
Want some frozen mac and cheese?
Hey, mac and cheese?
Where's Grady?
There he is.
I knew you'd get locked up eventually.
Wink, wink.
Good job, guy.
How's it going?
Figured that bindle will keep you out of the joint for a couple days, but not forever.
Jailer Mitch Green is a better Mitch Green.
I love Mitch Green.
I love Jailer Mitch Green.
Gas station Mitch Green.
Jailer Mitch Green.
Unbelievable. His LinkedIn is deep. Iter Mitch Green. Gas station Mitch Green. Jailer Mitch Green. Unbelievable.
His LinkedIn is deep.
It's so deep.
You have no idea.
It's a lot of things.
He's like, shit, what do I...
Yeah, I got it listed.
I did do that.
Oh, fuck.
So now that's...
He hasn't even had his hearing yet.
This is just in the court hanging out in the back.
Now it gets entertaining.
Yeah.
Okay, because now he's actually going to get to perform for the judge and everybody, which
is where he really shines.
Yeah. He likes to perform.
He's a performer.
So during this, the attendant of the gas station is there.
A newer Akuzanda.
Yeah.
Newer is N.O.O.R.
Yeah.
He's not American.
I don't think I would think he's not a six foot five guy who's used to fighting Mitch Green.
He said he became afraid of green and called
police you know and green threatened him uh he said during this time mitch gave gas to customers
and he told the hundred dollar bill story and he told the whole story i came back i saw the
hundred dollar bill and the police pulled up as he was punching the cab driver for taking his own
money back mitch has something else to say to the judge you know what he has to say mike tyson made me do it lies oh boy
the first thing he said really lies that's his opener to a judge lies he said quote here's what
i do you know what let's do let's do it in their own words fuck this let's do it in their own i
think we need it in their own words because this is i love when they're explaining themselves
in their own words quote here's what i do i always go to the gas station nobody comes
to take care of me so i get out and i put my own gas in then i pay five dollars or something and i
leave they know i was doing it all the time my mother told me to stop it but i thought i was
just fooling around a little what happened this time i got on my walkman and when this little guy
says he wants my money i go like this acts like he's shadowboxing ha ha ha ha he got scared
and ran away i go after him and say here take five dollars he just kept running my mother told
me not to do it so that's his claim so then he said well since he's gone i better work here now
i better cover his ship i'm clearly responsible oh fuck is it eight to 12 i'm on holy shit i didn't check the schedule when do you clock out
hey no shit i guess i'll just wait till the next guy gets here i'll just stay till he comes back
20 on 4 okay no problem got you covered ching ching what the fuck is he doing i don't know
how to operate this register i'll put it in my pocket until everybody gets yeah so that was the
judge's question it was like but the thing we're concerned about is the next part.
Right.
When you stood there
just pocketing people's money.
You didn't put it in the register.
You were putting it in your pocket.
So then they also talked about
when he was,
when he was,
the Tyson fight.
They talk about that for a minute.
And he said that,
that it was just about celebrity
and all that.
He said, quote,
my lawyer had me drop the charges against Tyson.
He got paid off, the lawyer, he's saying now.
So the judge started to get pissed off.
Judges don't like conspiracy theories bandied about a courtroom.
They don't like it.
We like facts around here.
Yeah.
If you say you know some shit, you're going to get on the stand and we're going to find out.
And I'm going to decide whether you actually know what you're talking about or not so uh he says he sits there and people are
kind of starting to laugh a little bit and the judge kind of isn't and he just says quote i got
a rap record coming into the stores and then the judge laughs because he's like he's just crazy
okay i get it i thought he was a dick we're dealing with the guy who's just a crazy person okay i thought he was a dick yeah i thought
he was just being a dick but no he's he's actually just insane genuine nutcha well maybe not coming
out in the stores but he does put out and thought he was a dick but he's the nuts but he's the nuts
but he's in the nuts
either way he's the nuts.
Either way, he's genitals.
Let's move on. He's something hot.
Hey, everybody.
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his album he does put out an ep yeah it's got three songs on it it's got a rapper named And now back to the show.
His album, he does put out an EP.
It's got three songs on it.
It's got a rapper named MC Clever on it.
I don't know who that is, but this came out in 89.
It has three songs.
Two of them are called Mitch Blood Green.
One is an instrumental track of Mitch Blood Green.
One is a, you know, in case you want to freestyle over it and just in case you get to get the the fucking urge i thought he was like
naming the songs and he was just like we'll call this one mitch blood green what about
i'm gonna write another song about myself well what are we calling it mitch mitch blood green
part two fuck no Fuck no. Hell no.
Just keep playing. Part one.
Kick that bass.
Let me hear that shit, baby.
Louder.
I don't have any snare.
Turn my headphones up.
So, Jesus Christ.
And another song called TV Track.
Yeah.
I don't know what that is, but that's his album.
It's out there.
That's not an album.
No, it's really not.
Three songs does not an album make.
Most certainly does not. But it amused the judge, so if it's worth it album. No, it's really not. Three songs does not an album make. Most certainly does not.
But it amused the judge, so if it's worth it just for that, then it's fucking worth it at that point.
That's not even an EP.
No.
That's just a single with an extra song on it.
That's all that is.
That's the single with the bonus track.
Yeah, the bonus track.
A-side, B-side, and ooh, instrumental.
Look at that.
So December 30th, 1988.
We're not even at a fucking 88 yet.
He's arrested.
This is 2.08 a.m. in Harlem.
Okay, he's got to be like Cinderella in Harlem.
Once midnight strikes, he's got to get the fuck out of Harlem.
Take your PCP and go home.
Seems like that's when he gets out.
That's when he's going.
That's when he leaves the house.
That's when he's nice.
He's like, ooh.
So this is another one.
He smashes his...
Did I mention his 79 Lincoln Continental is pink?
No.
It is pink.
He has a bright pink Lincoln Continental.
A pink 1979 Lincoln Continental.
My Christ, it's huge.
Which is approximately 42 yards long.
Right?
You can't make a U-turn in that thing.
It's like a battleship, basically.
When you buy one name you have to
when you buy one you have to finance it through the navy that's the only way they work when you
buy one of those nuclear power they're nuclear powered it's very complicated they have to check
up on it's got any upkeep is terrible uh so the resale doesn't go to iran yeah he's like a mary
k lady that's got hoes on the side you You know, like, it's fucking weird. Yeah.
So he crashes his pink 79 Lincoln Continental into two parked cars on a street corner.
He's up in the ante.
Yeah, he is.
Let me see how many I can get now.
What the fuck?
He is two parked cars on a street corner in Harlem.
Yeah.
Shocker, the cops come.
Yeah.
Surprise, he's drunk.
Yeah.
And surprise, he's arrested again for dui
and guess what else he's got on him pcb pcb i know you're surprised jimmy i know you're very
surprised so much pcp booze so much pcp jesus uh bill this car has got to be beat to shit
he's got a headlight hanging out by the fucking cable the side view mirrors dangling off just
fucking all bad like the car in jumanji yeah just how the fuck does that keep running he's got a headlight hanging out by the fucking cable. The side view mirrors dangling off. Just fucking all bad.
It's like the car in Jumanji.
Yeah.
Just how the fuck does that keep running?
He's got to stick his head up real high to see over the crumpled hood.
It's Ace Ventura's car.
Yeah, he just sticks it out the window.
Jesus Christ.
So DUI and drug possession here.
Bell set at $2,000 cash.
He has a hearing for this in March.
Now, January 8th, 1989. he's got court for other shit.
He's just constantly in a loop of court.
He should just go every day just to make sure today.
He's probably due in court more days than he's not.
So just show up in the morning and be like, Mitch Blood Green, not today.
Thanks, man.
Take it easy.
He brings the guy coffee every morning.
See you tomorrow.
Frank, here you go. Am I on the screen? No, you're not on today. Thanks, buddy. All right, have a good one. Fuck Mike Tyson. not today thanks man take it easy he brings the guy coffee every morning see you tomorrow frank
here you go am i on the skin no you're not on today thanks buddy all right have a good one
fuck mike tyson crawler tomorrow thanks fuck mike all right thumbs up all right so uh yeah
january 8th 1989 like less than 10 days later he misses a court date uh you know why show up for
that right uh january 19th, he's got another court date.
Not a reschedule of that one.
Just a separate court date.
Misses that one, too.
And then February 23rd, he's got his court date for this last smashing into cars here.
He comes to court wearing a bright blue double-breasted suit.
Like a bright one.
No shirt.
No. blue double-breasted suit yeah like a bright one yeah uh no shirt no
you okay that's where all this pcp money comes from okay he's saving all kind of money a lot
of shirt money uh can i just here's a crime and sports tip we do have a lot of rules crime and
sports tip uh when you go to court for a criminal thing that you're charged with wear a shirt wear a shirt that's it i should go
without saying any shirt unspoken rule number one i don't care what shirt isn't there a sign
out front no shirt no shoes no service or some shit a shirt what the fuck how did the judge not sit down and go sir are you not wearing a shirt if
someone comes into your court wearing a suit with no shirt you almost want to find out what the fuck
makes this guy tick i feel like he heard from the other judge yeah that you know about the rap
record and shit and they're like no no he's not an asshole he's gonna come with like no shirt on
and shit talking about mike tyson ignore all of that i have a question he's just crazy and it's fun as shit just let him go it's awesome is this still
jerry curl day is it still this is right in the cusp okay somewhere right in this period is when
he starts braiding it up yeah because he had the jerry curls kicking for the tyson fight i'm just
wondering is there jerry drip down the back of this jacket i don't think so i think he's got it
under control at this point uh so no shirt unbelievable anything any a white t-shirt was preferable to no shirt in court uh
white patent leather shoes oh boy you know you want to pull up in a 79 pink lincoln continental
with a pimp suit with no shirt and white patent leather shoes 10 gold chains yeah also with
boxing gloves all over him from his golden gloves days
uh not court attire no even you know come on that's just not what you wear to fucking court
he's dressed like the singer in in coming to america that's exactly what he's dressed like
he kind of yeah that's exactly that guy so yeah so uh oh my god jesus christ sexual chocolate So, yeah. So, oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Sexual chocolate, everybody.
Randy Watson.
That may be the best character ever. What episode of That's My Mama?
He was in the something episode of That's My Mama.
Randy Watson.
What episode was it?
I don't know.
Fuck.
Coming to America.
He was in the...
It was a named episode, right?
Yeah.
God, no.
It was a named episode of That's My Mama.
All right.
So the judge here is looking at this guy going fucking seriously.
She keeps citing his arrests for all his impaired driving, his failures to appear in court.
The fact that no matter what happens, he just repeatedly keeps getting arrested.
It's hard in court to get a guy you know to talk a judge
into that you're a good guy when it's like why do you get arrested every other day and then miss
court that's the one thing you can't do uh so she ended up reading a report that said when he was
arrested he was sitting in the driver's seat of his car with the motor and the lights still on
after bashing into two cars he reeked of alcohol and they found him smoking a cigarette laced with pcp so he's got a
fucking he's got a dipped cigarette that he's he crashed into the car he's like good a time as any
to light up fuck it and he just i'm going down anyway i might as well be smoking pcp on top of
this is fucked up i may as well be too i might as well he was he was drunk to begin with but wow uh
so after court, after court.
So in court, he just says, OK, OK, blah, blah, blah.
Tries to get out of court.
After court, he gets out of court.
Totally different take on the whole thing.
He says that he called.
He says that the reason why he was arrested is that he called a policeman by.
He called a policeman a name.
He said, quote, I didn't take no breathalyzer test.
I don't drink.
You've been arrested for being drunk multiple times.
He said, and at this point, he said, I didn't take it.
He goes out of the court.
He said, I just called the policeman a name.
I didn't take a breathalyzer test.
I don't drink.
Then he took his jacket off and started flexing on the courthouse steps.
Oh, boy.
Started flexing his muscles and calling out Mike Tyson.
Oh, boy.
And saying, look at what I got for you, Mike Tyson.
This is what I got for you.
And then he was yelling and saying, I'm challenging Mike Tyson.
I'm calling him out.
Cicely Tyson, he's a punk.
He ran away like a coward.
I got him scared to death of me.
And he's flexing for all the reporters.
So he knows how to try to get some pub for himself for a fight.
But he's got to not be in jail for a minute to actually get a fight.
You've got to be in fighting shape to be able to do this you do you can't get you can't get arrested another thing you
can't do is this on may 3rd 1989 he's stabbed oh boy you can't get stabbed either that's prize
fighters generally in the prime aren't being stabbed a lot usually uh he was listed in fair
condition at queen's medical center uh hospital center sorry after he was stabbed in fair condition at Queens Medical Center, Hospital Center, sorry, after he was stabbed in the thigh.
Jesus Christ, man.
He was, yeah, he apparently, he tells police that he was stabbed by a person unknown to
him for an unknown reason.
That's all he would say.
He wouldn't say shit about it.
Later on, though, he tells the press a little bit more.
He says, and I quote, Jesus, I was carrying on with this girl.
I knew she was married.
She lied to me and told me they was split up.
And I come to her place one time and the dude was waiting for me.
Motherfucker stuck me as soon as I put my foot in the door.
She was right there and didn't warn me or nothing.
Well, no, that's her husband, dummy.
Yeah, so he's going to knife.
He's got nothing.
So he gets stabbed by an angry husband.
So this is just getting better and better and better.
So Jesus Christ, it's at this point where he's limping away from the hospital.
Blood, blood, blood.
And half the people want to fuck with him on the street.
Half the people love him.
Yeah.
He's just a fucking disaster.
People feel bad.
Yeah.
He actually said, I'm going to go home for a minute.
Yeah.
I'm going to fucking lick my wounds, literally.
Yeah.
You know, the stun gun didn't do it.
The knife, I can't get around that well.
So I'm going to go home.
I'm going to get my shit together in my own home.
Yeah.
I'm going to fucking.
Peaceful place.
You know what?
I'm going to make it a peaceful place.
I'm going to redecorate this place.
Hell yeah.
And he does.
And he calls up a man who can help him.
And it's Dexter Man manly interior decorator from
new york city and he says how is it you have come to arrive here seriously oh my god what are you
you're taking your shirt off in public what is who does that who, no, you stay out. You stay... I want in.
There's a shirtless man in there
and I want to talk to him.
No, it's...
I'm sorry.
Everywhere they go,
there's no shirt.
He just follows me around.
It's like they have no shirt.
They have no shirt.
He's got overalls.
I don't know what he's doing.
I've got overalls.
Tell him...
Tell him I've got overalls for him.
If he puts them on,
I can...
We can work something out.
Vince, no. Just go away. Stop it. Jesus, he doesn't want your overalls for him. If he puts them on, we can work something out. Vince, no.
Just go away.
Stop it.
Jesus, he doesn't want your overalls.
He doesn't want them.
He said he doesn't want overalls.
I'm sorry, Mitch, but listen.
You know who takes their shirt off in public?
White trash.
You're white trash.
You know who gets stabbed?
White trash.
White trash.
That's the answer, Mitch.
That's the answer to everything.
White trash.
You're white trash, sir.
I'm coming out now.
No.
Go.
Stop.
And then poof.
In a cloud of purple glitter.
Feather boas.
He's gone.
And he takes Vince McMahon with him.
Oh, Jesus.
Vince was very upset.
He was just knocking.
He couldn't get in.
It's a shirtless man in here who wants to fight.
He's like, it's right up my alley.
He's on PCP.
Jesus Christ.
Get him a contract.
Draw this guy up a contract.
He's got no shirt on.
He's doing PCP.
He's in the Hall of Fame.
He's going to be a Hall of Famer.
So July 1989.
And he drinks and drives.
He's my kind of guy.
He's a smirking guy. He's my kind of guy he's a smirking guy he's making a guy
wow july 1989 there's a fluff piece in the tampa tribune of course how do you fluff this in the
where tampa tribune why because it's tampa they have nothing positive to talk about they're
talking about something that's half a world away the front page is oh no we're in florida and then
inside that's the good story is mitch green fluff piece all the rest of it is what's happening in florida uh so this is about a
guy starting a new gym in florida and he hopes uh with the hopes of drawing some name boxers and
making this a real contending kind of gym mitch is in okay he's all over this uh he's he's all over
it and uh he but he has some shit to say first to the press.
You know, when they're talking about him boxing.
Mitch is schlepping it down to Florida.
Oh, yeah.
He's going to train down there for a while.
Get the fuck out of New York.
Yeah, it's warmer, you know.
Maybe he can get a license down there.
Well, actually, wait till you see his quote later on.
It's fucking amazing.
He says, quote, I don't do drugs, so I don't want nobody saying I'm stopping.
People are like, have you stopped doing drugs? And he's like, I don't do drugs, so I don't want nobody saying I'm stopping. People are like, have you stopped doing drugs?
And he's like, I don't do drugs.
You were smoking a PCP cigarette when you got arrested, like while the cops were there.
You do drugs.
He says, so then they said, but while the arrests for that,
and his answer to that question is, and I don't drink.
Okay.
But if anybody thinks so,
then I speak against drugs.
You don't see nothing there
about me being convicted, do you?
Because you're pleading out to shit
for the most part.
They said no,
but it says here that you've been cited
for 54 traffic violations
and he says 56.
He fucking corrects them higher.
With a bigger number.
56.
I've had two DUIs since then.
Fucking pay attention, dummy.
Keep up, asshole.
Yeah, so...
Jesus Christ.
He says...
I had three parked cars.
Yeah, yeah.
Once?
No, no, no.
Two different occasions.
That's the thing.
Twice, and then I smoked and I drank drank he has an excuse for it though he goes it's not i'm not just a terrible
driver that keeps getting pulled over it's the world's out to get me he says but you know it's
like this this is amazing if a deputy stops me and gives me a ticket and i talk back he gives me
another i talk back and he gives me another talk I talk back and he gives me another. Talk again and I get another.
Then I tear them up and get another.
How many is that?
I don't know.
You could have stopped at one.
What are you, in the breakfast club?
Take it easy, Judd Nelson. Just shut the fuck up.
I own you for the rest of your natural born life.
That's what God says to him.
What the fuck, man?
How about...
That's another.
Yeah, and another.
Stop.
Why? Shut the fuck up how about that's another yeah it's not another stop why shut up what are you doing you're not gonna win that argument the cop's not gonna go you know what you're right give me those
tickets back i was wrong on the first vibe you made that point just fucking you just hang on to
those two just for the extra last i wasn't on your side but now you've won me over to you no
it's a fucking ticket just take it and say all right fine and then go on your side, but now you've won me over to you. No, it's a fucking ticket. Just take it and say, all right, fine, and then go on your way.
Unbelievable.
Then he says, quote, but I got me a South Carolina license now.
I can drive.
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck?
No.
Why is South Carolina giving this?
This is before the national.
This was state to state.
They don't fucking.
They were like, yeah, sure.
Here you go.
Stay up. There you go, young sure. Here you go. Stay up.
There you go, young man.
There you go.
Have on there.
Enjoy, young man.
Enjoy.
It's Grady.
Grady over there working at the DMV.
Wow.
At Grady, he going, well, no, he works outside the DMV.
He just, you know.
And I don't call it works.
He sweeps up.
And if people give him a nickel, he's pretty happy about it.
Oh, my God.
He said.
Thank you, young man. said thank you young man thank you young man he says uh he can drive then he says see they won't give me no fight because they got it nice don king's men fight don king's men and i ain't one which
don king's fighters fight don king's fighters because then he makes all the money so yeah that
is how he did it yeah uh then they talk about a manager of his who turns out to be a guy who kind of like fixed a couple of fights later on.
Kind of this crooked guy.
But he tried to help Mitch Green here.
This manager talks.
There's an article he writes.
And there's a bunch of excerpts.
And here's one of them.
This is a phone conversation with Larry Holmes that the manager had about fighting Mitch Green.
Any way I can interest you in fighting Mitch Green?
Larry Holmes says, quote,
Mitch Green, he's fighting again?
Mitch Green is crazy.
You putting any money into that guy?
And the guy said, yeah, I'm spending some money.
Larry Holmes says, quote,
man, don't throw your money away on Mitch Green.
Take it to Atlantic City and play the craps table.
Here I have a better chance of making it back.
Mitch Green, slightly less preferable to craps.
Less odds than craps. Slightly craps. Less risky than Mitch Green, slightly less preferable to craps. Less odds than craps.
Slightly craps.
Less risky than Mitch Green.
There you go, Vegas.
There's your new slogan.
The crap table.
Make better money than betting on Mitch Green.
Yep.
So February 9th, 1991, Madison Square Garden, Sugar Ray Leonard versus Terry Norris.
What does this have to do with Mitch Green?
Nothing. Fucking nothing. but he's there anyway he stands up at ringside rips his shirt off of course and beats his chest screaming about mike tyson oh my god sitting next to mitch green is none other
than john gaudi oh jesus i don't know if you don't know who john gaudi is i'm not even going to
explain it because i can't even have a conversation with you. Look it up.
Sitting next to John Gotti, who's clapping and laughing his ass off.
This fucking guy's hilarious.
Who is the Dapper Don?
Yeah.
Dapper Don, Dapper Dan.
That's hilarious.
It's funny because I originally wrote it as Dapper Dons, and I'm like, no, it's not.
What am I doing?
So he thought he was fucking hilarious.
I was just like, this guy's a fucking lunatic.
Is he part of this shit?
This is crazy.
This fucking guy's crazier than a shithouse rat.
Hey, Frank, if he gets too close to me, fucking cut his throat, all right?
Thank you.
He's crazy.
I don't like him.
I just think he's crazy.
Late 91, he does six months on Rikers Island for multiple drunk driving arrests.
Now, his manager talks about all of his little infractions end up getting him like a month,
two months, three months.
He's always doing like a month in jail, two months in jail, waiting out bail, shit like
that.
So here he does six months in Rikers for DUIs or DWIs, gets out of jail and gets a new manager.
And that's the guy we're talking about that wrote the article.
He talks about Mitch says he's a big celebrity at Rikers.
He says that the guards love him
the inmates love him uh he says quote man you gotta see me there all the inmates all the gangs
all the guards it's like yo yo yo it's mitch green oh shit it's blood big mitch looking good baby
i'm telling you i'm the king of rikers island that is not a thing to be i'm the king of rikers island what the fuck are you talking about
no the good point you want to be the king of the fucking ring of las vegas right of madison
square garden not rikers island you've picked the wrong fucking island manhattan's the one you want
to conquer not rikers dipshit oh christ or treasure. Or Treasure. Be the king of Treasure Island.
That's better than Rikers Island.
Any island is better.
The king of Bikini Island, where they blew it up with nuclear weapons,
is still better than the king of Rikers Island.
That doesn't mean there's a Treasure Island in Vegas.
Jesus, no, I know.
Take the worst island ever.
It's better than being the king of Rikers Island.
I'd rather be the king of Three Mile Island than Rikers Island.
I'd rather be the king of Gilligan's Island.
Absolutely. That'd look beautiful the king of Three Mile Island than Rikers Island. I'd rather be the king of Gilligan's Island. Absolutely.
That looked beautiful.
Yeah, those nine people.
Nobody ever tried to stab any of them.
You notice that?
Right.
So, yeah.
That's got to be the name of the episode, The King of Rikers Island.
I don't know how it wouldn't be.
The King of Rikers Island.
Unbelievable.
He says, man, it's beautiful.
Don't nobody bother me.
I get to rest up, get lots of peace and quiet, and the food is good, man.
Yeah.
No, it's not.
It's not at all.
Prisoners complain about Rikers is the worst.
They can't wait to get sentenced and get to prison because the state prison food is so
much.
Rikers is just completely a disaster.
Is Rikers County?
Rikers is a jail.
Okay.
Rikers isn't a prison.
It's a jail.
Yeah.
You do up to a year there and they hold you there and shit like that.
I thought Rikers was a prison.
No, it's a jail.
There's people there for years, though, too.
It's fucking great.
Not all sorts of shit.
So he said, and the food is good, man.
Three meals a day.
All you can eat.
What the fuck?
The guards bring me extra.
Bring me desserts.
I can lift weights, do pushups.
I get in a good shape into prison.
And I got this little cooler where I can even keep my Kool-Aid.
No, this is a problem.
He's so thrilled.
This is a big problem.
I'm the king of Rikers Island.
What are you, fucking nuts?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Here's the.
Yeah.
Take this, Mike Tyson.
You're supposed to be.
You're living large, Tyson.
Look at my Kool-Aid cooler.
It's a cooler of Kool-Aid.
He's the all you can eat, man.
It's good.
It's jet.
No.
You know what else you could do?
Make a bunch of money boxing well, and then you could have bought as much food and ate
as much as you want.
Right.
All you can eat.
All you can eat.
You would have so much money you could have pigeon coops of useless fucking burgers.
It doesn't have chunks of rat in it right wow so uh the the uh guy so the manager asked him does anyone box in there and
he says quote we would do like slap boxing just see who got the fast hands not real boxing boxing
but it helps me stay sharp uh he then told his manager that you do well in rikers he says man
when you get there you see how you see how you get respect. They be asking you questions.
They're going to ask about their cases.
Can you listen to their tapes?
Ask you if you can manage them and box them when they come out.
You do good in Rikers.
It's like if you go in there, people will be wanting your help.
Don't worry.
If you fuck up, everything will be all right.
So the manager said, I told him, I don't ever plan to be sent to Rikers, Mitch.
And he says, no, no, you don't plan to.
But nobody know the future he
says I'm just saying if you wind up there you'll do good okay like nobody plans to but obviously
if you're taking PCP at three in the morning and driving your car and shit eventually you're gonna
fucking end up there driving behind the wheel yelling about Mike Tyson Jesus Christ so eventually
uh he tries to get him wrestling gigs in the 90s.
Okay.
Apparently, Luthez, who is a legendary wrestler, NWA champion, just like one of the most respected guys in the wrestling industry of ever.
He's like, you know, Luthez's name is like hallowed.
It's insane.
So this Luthez is doing he's basically trying to get this is like 1991
he's trying to get
people to go over and wrestle Antonio
Inoki in a boxer wrestler
match like they did with Muhammad Ali
in the 70s which was a piece of shit
so
Inoki ends up you know they're looking
for this sort of thing they're looking for I don't know if
they're still trying to get
him to Japan I don't know if it's Inoki they're fighting for this sort of thing. They're looking for, I don't know if they're still, uh, still trying, they're trying to get them to Japan.
I don't know if it's a no key they're fighting or not,
but anyway,
uh,
uh, basically,
uh,
they said in Japan,
find us more heavyweight boxers.
Some,
you know,
they want former champions and things like that,
but they have to go to Japan and then they're going to have to lose to the
wrestler in Japan and all that.
So he says that he found Pitt and Mitch's number and pitched him the idea.
And Mitch said,
quote,
Oh baby,
I would love to go to Japan. They're going love me over there which no they're not they're
gonna think you're crazy over there because they're very mild-mannered uh so then he told
him you're gonna have to you know here's how it is you go over there you get this much money you
gotta lose to the wrestler guy or whatever you know whatever it's a fucking show who cares mitch
says man that's ridiculous mitch green losing to a little japanese man big mitch green
i ain't gonna let that happen i got my reputation sides nobody would believe it oh that's what he
said and he says sides he doesn't say besides nobody would believe it so then the guy was like
i tried to tell him like yeah they'll do like a disqualification point yeah we're like he'll like
you know whatever and you'll work it out and he said no no no he wouldn't do it he wouldn't do it
at all uh i got a better idea i'm gonna dress up as godzilla and come into the ring he'll be scared
and run out everybody gonna scatter whole crowd's gonna lose their fucking mind i'll be left in the
middle of the ring flexing my muscles going come on mike tyson come get some godzilla dick Godzilla dick, motherfucker, you pussy, Sicily Tyson, bitch.
Unbelievable.
Okay, so now he talks about his first business meeting with Mitch Green. He says it was at what he calls a gimmicky penthouse restaurant in Cambridge, Mass.
That's where Harvard and shit is.
Nice place.
An expensive gimmicky restaurant.
He says it's a revolving one.
It's one of the Hyatt ones that revolves and you can see the city fucking yuppie shit he's yeah he says the well mitch is gonna change the she's
gonna change the general demeanor yeah and he's gonna white trash it up oh yeah yeah he uh he
says quote the first thing mitch did was rise from the table peel down the top of his orange jumpsuit, rip it off to become shirtless,
flex his pecs,
kiss his biceps, and invite a room full of people to
these are just yuppies eating lunch
to, quote, feast your eyes
on what a real heavyweight is supposed to look
like. Then he said,
and I quote, and this is not me, this is him,
quote, this is while he's flexing,
he's standing on a table shirtless in the middle of a nice restaurant, mind you.
This is crazier than I'd be a boochie with a steak knife.
He says, quote, check out the pythons about his arms.
Muscles on muscles.
If you a heavyweight, this is what you should look like.
Not like that midget.
I want Mike Tyson.
Michelle Cicely Tyson.
He a sissy, he a homo.
I don't like him oh baby
wait till you see what I do when I get that boy
in the ring Mike's running from me
Don King Don Queen
is running from me
then he closes
it with his big closer he gets
his flexes his biceps
and loudly says I'm telling
you he says this in a sing songy voice
I'm telling you he says it's in a sing-songy voice i'm telling you mike
tyson is a hoe and kisses his bicep mo and then kisses his other bicep
causing an eruption of applause from the fellow diners because what else are they gonna do
yay he called mike tyson a hom, meanwhile doing like the gayest thing ever.
I don't know what to say about that.
He couldn't have been gayer unless he was sucking a cock and calling that a punk car.
Well, he's a homo.
What the fuck?
That is bananas.
So his manager went, well, he's marketable.
He literally, that's what he said.
He goes, well, people like him.
He's marketable.
He obviously can draw. And he draws attention to himself is one thing that's gonna sell tickets
uh yeah uh he could still work a room he said but he doesn't know uh but he's like he could still
work a room we're ready let's get him back in the ring and then he gets shot mitch gets shot too
what uh he gets shot he's on the corner of 129th street in lennox which is not a good place to be
hanging out lennox that not good the lennox scares the shit out of me yeah lennox in 129th Street in Lenox, which is not a good place to be hanging out. Lenox, not good.
The word Lenox scares the shit out of me.
Yeah, Lenox and 129th
is not great.
Apparently, there was a guy,
just a neighborhood dude,
who was fucking
breaking Mitch's balls
about Mike Tyson,
which is not the thing to do,
for which Mitch Green.
So Mitch slaps him,
which he didn't punch him.
He knew that he could
fuck him up,
so he slaps him.
So the guy ran back inside
to his apartment, came back, andaps him so the guy ran back inside to his apartment
came back and shot him in the fucking leg twice that's that that's how we settle this uh once in
the in the leg and once in the foot they went like through his shoe the manager says he still has the
bloody sneaker somewhere with the bullet hole yeah mitch gave it to him as a souvenir he's like yo
man i got a souvenir for you with a bullet hole in it. He's legit crazy.
So Mitch limps six blocks to the hospital.
He's x-rayed and told the bullet it's a clean through and through.
Went out of his leg.
So he's given a clean bill of health.
They stitch him up and give him antibiotics, send him home.
What they did, though, is they missed the fact that there's a bullet lodged behind his knee.
Oh, fuck.
They didn't see it.
So by the time he calls his manager, he said a week later he couldn't even walk yeah he said his uh his femur was uh traumatized by running and jumping
rope because he was like working out and shit so it split because of that because there was a bullet
in there and all the pressure made it splits like if you put an ax in and you tap the top of it the
fucking log splits uh so he says quote about mitch i flew him to boston picked him up at the logan
airport and took him straight to beth israel hospital uh the celtics orthopedic surgeon frank bunch had him on the operating table
within two hours if he had waited another day they said mitch would have lost his leg yeah due
to like gangrene and shit so infection not great no uh so he said six months after that he was
rehabbing his injury and he was living in a house that uh mitch was living in a house that his
manager owned in Boston.
He says this is what the manager said.
Quote, he regularly demanded cash, had two girlfriends flown in from different parts of the country for what turned into a nonconsensual threesome that ended only when my terrified downstairs tenants called the police.
Holy shit.
Yes.
He says.
Wow. shit uh yes uh he says uh wow he says that he was sending the money he was getting home to his
mother uh who he said was spending it on bingo shit in atlantic city his mom has like a good
day job at this point she's a commodities trader his mom she's doing fine she's not taking his
fucking stipend and spending it on bingo so he's bullshitting he's bullshitting i saw his mom in
the pre my tyson pre-fight documentary she's a very nice well put together well-spoken woman who's a commodity she doesn't play she doesn't
play bingo she might but she can afford her own fucking money in bingo i think uh so he says that
uh he was complaining about that uh he says he didn't understand why the guy never stopped
complaining uh we'll talk about that threesome in a second here hell yeah uh he says it was just
all he's always talking about mike tyson and don king and fucking all this and uh he says that there was a bunch mitch
was constantly talking about a bunch of black civic leaders that he thought was in cahoots
with don king and mike tyson to keep him down and everybody just thought he was a fucking maniac
obviously yeah so from the apartment he says he's staying there rent free mitch is staying at this
apartment rent for rent free,
said the tenants called him an alarm and then called the police called the
landlord.
Mitch had been screaming at these two girls,
these two women.
Apparently he says that when the guy arrived,
the manager,
he was still screaming at them while on the lawn as the cops tried to calm
him.
The police are there and he's not even like,
no,
no,
everything's fine.
He's like,
and I'll tell you another thing, bitch, while the cops tried to calm him, the police are there. And he's not even like, no, no, everything's fine. He's like, and I'll tell you another thing, bitch.
While the cops are there, which is not so smart move ever.
So the tenants were watching out the window from their apartment.
Frightened, I'm sure.
Everybody's watching.
And Mitch tries to get the cops to understand the outrage.
This is what the guy says.
He says, quote, this is amazing.
Quote, they said they was going to do it.
God damn it.
Why do you think I fly them here?
They two pretty ladies. They told me they liked each other.
You can't just stop right in the middle.
He flew in two ladies who said they do a threesome with him.
And then they got in the middle.
They're like, I'm not really into this.
This is kind of weird.
And he's like, oh, fuck.
No, I spent one hundred fifty dollars to get you here. you're having a kiss her pussy yeah now fucking wow
he is out of his fucking mind that is awesome uh he's trying to force it this is great i don't get
it he's like what the fuck man he was like logical about like i what this is not fair like i paid for
airfare that makes them have to fuck each other, right?
Would you tell her?
Tell her.
I did it.
I told, nope, I got her bulkhead officer.
She's at least a 69 with that chick.
I want to watch.
Wow.
I want to watch.
I want to watch.
That's what I paid for.
That's my right.
That's what he was saying.
The cop's like, I don't think it works like that.
So March 1992, Mike Tyson is set to go to prison oh this is for if you don't know mike tyson was
convicted of raping an indiana uh beauty pageant contestant that he was judging though i don't say
that because that's all she is in the world that's all she does she just enters indiana beauty
pageant pageants uh tyson was a judge at the pageant that's how they met uh mitch has some
words because i asked mitch hey what do you think of tyson going to rikers and he's like i just
fucking got out of rikers let me tell you about it he's gonna do great it's gonna be great he's
gonna have it so meals are good there's so much food tell him to ask jack in the kitchen tell him
not off the menu you don't want to order off the menu you got to order off the menu not from the
menu jack he likes to experiment so tell him maybe a foie gras no play uh yeah he says mitch says quote
he's he tries going general population they're gonna foul him up beat him up cut him up uh he
says jail is like this it's a man's home and rape molesting babies robbing old ladies you can't live
with us we're gonna beat you up that. He got to go to protective custody.
PC, got to.
He said, they don't like rapists.
That's somebody's mother, somebody's daughter.
That's a woman.
He got to be in solitary confinement.
Otherwise, there'll be four or five guys, got nothing to look forward to, got nothing
to lose, be beating them up.
You beat up a cop, that's okay.
You sell drugs, you're making a living.
But you don't want to go to jail for rape.
And in PC, three years is like six years. You're by yourself. You don't get to go to the yard. You don't want to go to jail for rape. And in PC, three years is like six years.
You're by yourself.
You don't get to go to the yard.
You don't get to go to school.
You don't get to go to the mess hall, mix with all the inmates, play basketball.
PC is punk city.
As much as I don't like him, I don't wish that on nobody.
He said, then he said, quote, I'm the jailer.
Jail is my second home.
Jail is my second home.
I go to jail.
I go population. He doesn't even say
gen pop. He goes, I go population. Let me repeat that. I'm the jailer. Jail is my second home.
I go to jail. I go population. If you want to try me, try me Tyson. He goes population. He'll
get fouled up to prove his manhood. He's going to have to fight. He's going to be on suicide.
Watch. Ain't that a bitch he's so tough
he's a bitch he had the world in his hands making money having girls you don't go out like that the
lord give it then the lord take it the way a guy on pcp's quoting the bible and there's fucking
more man oh he's a gold mine this is amazing hey i didn't slap mitch green on
the street and run away i didn't beat up robin givens who's mike tyson's wife we got arrested
for beating up i didn't beat up women i didn't rob old ladies when i was young which tyson did
and i'm sure he did too probably in the gang there come on man old women all that crap caught up to
him date rape ain't that a bitch but tyson doesn't a bitch? But Tyson, doesn't a part of you feel sorry for Tyson?
They ask him.
He says, quote, I feel so sorry.
I'm going to go eat some apple pie right now.
I feel so sorry.
I'm going to go outside and fool with these girls.
So that's his.
That's.
I feel so sorry.
I think Mitch Green deserves a hand for that one.
That was very.
He said that all in like one shot.
Just standing there at the top of
his head now turns out nobody fucking touched mike tyson no uh mainly because they'd all seen
the pictures of mitch green's face after one fucking punch with a tyson fist and they all
went no thank you holy shit that guy no thanks now uh the next fight uh uh the next fight was
against a guy named Bruce Johnson.
They were trying to get it for Mitch Green to set up a fight against Riddick Bowe.
Because they're like, he's crazy at least.
If we put Mitch Green out there in a press conference with Riddick Bowe, someone's going to want to watch that fight.
That would be awesome.
That would have been great.
How about that? Both of them are fucking insane.
Totally insane.
Now, they wanted to put Mitch on an undercard at Madison Square Garden of one of Bo's fights to get him ranked so then he could actually fight him.
Mitch Green said, no, that doesn't make any sense to me.
He says, it don't make no sense.
He tells his manager, you're a very intelligent man, but you're acting like you're stupid.
I don't need no tune-up to beat Riddick Bo.
That man could never beat me.
He hasn't fought in years.
Years. He's't fought in years. Years.
He's in his 30s.
Riddick Bowe is like 24 years old, in the peak of his powers, and he's heavyweight champion of the world.
You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.
He says he doesn't need a tune-up.
Then his manager says, it's not a tune-up, tune-up, Mitch.
It's a fight to get you in the ratings so that they'll let you fight for the title.
He says, man, I was rated number six when I fought Tyson, and they stole that fight from me.
Tyson never beat me.
Don King beat me.
That was like seven years ago.
Back to this.
You were ranked then seven years ago.
Who cares seven years ago?
He says, man, the past is the past.
Let's think about your future.
Let's get you rated.
Then let's get you a fight with Bo.
To which Mitch responds, Bo ain't never done nothing.
Who's he beat?
Sanitation engineers, school bus drivers, volunteer firemen, substitute teachers.
This is ridiculous.
He needs to beat a PCP addict.
God damn it.
Really?
Wow.
So February 26, 1993, he fights Bruce Johnson in Virginia.
Bruce is 8, 22, and 1 coming in. 9, 33, and fights Bruce Johnson in Virginia. Bruce is 8-22-1 coming in.
9-33-1 career.
That is terrible.
Not a great fighter.
Mitch is pissed off about his purse, though.
He's super pissed off.
He's mad at the manager, and he's mad at everything, and he won't fucking throw a punch.
He's standing in the ring just not doing it.
He won't throw a punch.
He's letting the guy throw punches.
He didn't know how much he was going to get paid for this?
Apparently not.
Yeah, so it's weird.
His manager said, quote,
I was sure I picked the right foil for Green's comeback match.
A gangly knock-kneed cruiserweight.
Bruce Johnson came in with a record of 8-22-1.
He's been knocked out 17 times and has never beaten a credible opponent.
Johnson always arrived out of town prepared to lose.
His livelihood depended on his career going nowhere.
He's the loser.
He says, the manager said, in the dressing room, Bruce told me he was afraid of Mitch Green,
which is not what you want to hear from a fighter before a fight.
He then held me up for $500 more than the price we agreed on because he said Mitch was scary.
more than the price we agreed on because he said mitch was scary all i would have to say all i would have had to say for mitch green uh to win was you want 500 more dollars get knocked out by
the third round i didn't do that i didn't think mitch i didn't think i needed it mitch was going
to kill him uh but apparently mitch was super pissed off he ignored the jabs he never he just
ignored bruce johnson like he wasn't there in the ring. He ignored everybody.
He just walked around the ring just doing shit.
He was stone-faced.
The nerd getting bullied at school?
Yeah, he would just look out into the distance while this guy would throw jabs at him and shit.
Finally, the ref just fucking stopped it.
He said, TKO.
You fucking lose, asshole.
How about that?
I'm stopping the fight.
You're not defending yourself.
You obviously can't defend yourself anymore, so you can't fight anymore uh so they call the
fight and he loses tko third round bruce johnson wins that's his ninth win that's his ninth win
he got it there he got it there uh this manager said quote i wouldn't talk to mitch green after
that i lost a year of my life and eighty thousand dollars on him rough holy shit yeah february 6th 1994 this is at the melville hilton
in huntington new york he fights melvin top gun foster uh who is 14 0 and 1 coming in so now
mitch is the yeah the guy he's the tuna can he's the tomato can that the up-and-comer is going to
fight right uh this guy turns out to be 24 13 and one top gun foster in his career this fight goes
all 10 so mitch still can go the distance and mitch loses a unanimous decision here so 16 4 and
1 for mitch in 1994 so he doesn't fight for another year and a half and then august 18th 1995
he fights in middletown new york he fights lou uh Turcharelli. Lou Turcharelli, which
we all know there hasn't been a good Italian boxer
since approximately 1957.
So it's probably not going to go well.
Let's just say that. Lou's not good.
Lou's probably not going to do too well. Once
Marciano fucking retired and died,
that was the end of it for us. Lou's got a belly.
I guarantee you. Hey, how you doing?
They were doing the instructions like, how you doing?
Let me ask you a question for when we're done with the fight because this ain't my area.
You know, I can get like a good sandwich around here when we're done.
Because I'm going to be hungry.
I'll tell you, I'm kind of hungry now.
But like once we fight for a while, I start throwing punches.
I need some fucking salami.
That's all I'm going to tell you right now.
Speaking of salami, these shorts are fucking chafing mine.
How's yours?
Hey, Mitch, why don't you do something?
Take your pants off too. You usually got your shirt off. Let's yours doing? Hey, Mitch, why don't you do something? Take your pants off, too.
You usually got your shirt off.
Let's see your salami.
So for some reason, Lou wants to see Mitch's salami.
It's 7-9 coming in, 10-25 career.
Mitch beats him in his sixth round TKO.
So sixth round TKO for Mitch, 17-4-1.
That is August of 95.
December 8th, 95, he is rested.
Oh, no. But he's been fighting. He's got to get arrested again. Once he gets out there, he's really got to get out there. Life is August of 95. December 8th, 95. He is arrested. He's been fighting.
He's got to get arrested again. Once he gets out there, he's really got to get out there. Life's really going well.
Yeah, yeah. He is arrested for
smashing up his manager's office
in New York City, the one who wouldn't talk
to him anymore. He caused $9,000
in damage. Holy shit.
He became, this is a different
manager, I'm sorry. He became enraged
during a dispute with his manager, Seth Braunstein.
No one was injured, but he tore up the office and broke shit.
He did like Ice Cube in the Straight Outta Compton movie when he wanted his royalties.
He broke up the fucking dude's office.
That's pretty much what he did.
Sometimes you got to.
Sometimes you got to do that.
There's been times where I would have 100% done that if we were in the same city with the cocksuckers that needed to have that done to them.
So, yeah, he's arrested here for second-degree criminal mischief, which is a felony.
Carries a maximum sentence of seven years in prison.
And, yeah, he was in custody pending arraignment.
And now November of 1997, two years goes by.
November of 1997, he finally settles the lawsuit with Mike Tyson.
He filed a lawsuit along with the, when they wouldn't give him the fight, he then sued them for $25 million.
Yeah.
And it languished in the courts for about eight years.
And now finally it's settled in november of 1997 for
undisclosed yeah for no no i have the amount uh even though the jury said that mitch green
provoked mike tyson into fighting in this uh outside of this they still ordered him to be
paid 45 000 that's not bad so instead of 25 million he got 45 000 10 years later be happy
not be happy yeah they took six hours uh to make its decision for this uh to think he ever got paid
uh i'm sure yeah they probably did they probably paid him off yeah uh although tyson at that point
i don't know where his tax situation was he claimed the uh his attorney claimed the victory
was a verdict was a moral victory. And he that always maintained
that Tyson sucker punched him.
He says, obviously,
the jury didn't feel
that the injury was as serious
as we did.
This is amazing.
They said Green appeared upset
after the verdict.
Tyson left the court
without commenting.
And also the judge issued
a 30-day order of protecting
requiring Green to stay away
from Tyson,
which is hilarious.
Here's money because you beat that guy up.
Now, the guy with the money, don't go near the guy who beat you up.
As the judge dismissed the jury, Tyson sat there for a minute while Green stood up and started shadowboxing,
took his shirt off and started flexing his muscles and shadowboxing, taunting Mike Tyson.
Tyson and his attorneys just left, you know,
to go spend their money that they have.
Train for another fight?
I guess, yeah.
Outside the courthouse, Green walked down the steps,
happy as can be, arms in the air like Rocky,
saying, I'm the winner, I whooped him.
That's what he said.
Finally.
A win for Mitch. Jesus Christ christ man uh this is fucking crazy so yeah about the order of protection green's attorney said quote mitch has no problem with
that because he has no intention of going near tyson it's like giving away snow in the winter
yeah okay great thank you yeah nobody wants it jan January 21st, 1998.
He recently, like we said, had won that whole thing.
Well, now he was being held without bail after being arraigned on a drug charge again here.
He was arrested in the lobby of a building by police officers who saw him throw a small baggie away as they approached him. Guess what was in baggie hey it's bcp all right so a jesus small bag of pcp uh he was arrested many many many many many
times on possession of angel dust before he's charged with misdemeanor drug and criminal
trespass the trespass comes from his basically he's not it's a he's at a housing
property where you're it's like a drug-free thing and so it's an extra charge if you get drugs there
uh uh so yeah he's jesus i have never heard of somebody having pcp so many times so much pcp and
this is when he got caught with it yeah i imagine how much he was doing all the time uh he said he's
got an excuse for this though he's like's like, listen, it wasn't me.
He said, quote, I was following a girl into the building who I paid $10.
For what?
What do you think?
That's his excuse.
My excuse is I was going inside for a $10 blowy or suck and fuck.
I had a right to be there.
I had prepaid for a prostitute in that location.
Now, I'm going to have to talk to your customer service because she went and locked the door
and I'm stuck out there with PCP and the police.
This is not how you should treat people is what I'm saying.
You should also not give them $10 for sexual relations.
Maybe that would be better.
Maybe you should have found a better fuck someone charging more than ten dollars maybe they'll come to you jesus fucking christ
they end up releasing him on his own recognizance what recognizance does he have no one in the world
has less recognizance than this fucking guy no one you should hold him on his own recognizance what the fuck hold him on deficient cognizance
you fucking idiot wow uh so march 18th uh uh 1980 uh 1998 uh because that was uh january 21st 1998
it's good to see he's getting back in the swing of things here told you that sports were over for
this for a while uh march 18th 1998 he is arrested
oh no you're shocked on charges of violating an order of protection filed against him by uh by a
woman a 40 year old woman uh he's arrested on a harlem street corner after police received a
telephone call that he had harassed the woman uh the woman was not injured in the affair but he had
an order of protection he's out on the street harassing her not allowed to do that not allowed
to do that so what do you do when you need to get your head out of shit you need some
some fucking pcb he needs to do well he needs a fight is what he needs because he's only like 50
yeah so uh july 25th 1998 let's fight again at the sons of italy hall and wake and lake worth
florida exactly msg he fights mike the duke dixon yeah who is 16 and 28 coming in from lake worth yeah
from lake worth jesus and 16 and 30 career oh boy so not great this fight goes all eight uh
mitch wins on points yeah but uh later on in the night uh the fight has changed from a win for
mitch to a no contest when his drug test comes back positive
for drugs for pcp it was actually for weed oh really which is silly yeah that's if you're if
you're stoned and fighting better that's pretty impressive that's an extra loss you get 500 extra
bucks the other guy gets two losses two losses yeah so now he's 17 four and one here uh this is
fucking terrible i mean jesus christ how did you feel what if you're his trainer you're like thanks asshole i don't even get that like how many people is i feel bad for
all these people jimmy all of them yeah but not nearly as bad as i feel for all of the mitch
greens in the world like mitch green owner of dwell point media inc in huntsville alabama
they're a financial services company christ uh that's who you want to trust your money with.
At Mitch A. Green on Twitter.
Yeah.
His description is husband, friend, pastor.
Gas station attendant.
PCP addict.
Mitchell J. Green, chief executive officer, managing partner, senior consultant of investment performance services, 34 years in the industry.
Yeah. I don't know what industry that is, but it's something financial. Consultant of Investment Performance Services. 34 years in the industry.
I don't know what industry that is, but it's something financial.
He looked like a very silver-haired, middle-aged white man.
Mitch Green, a 2018 Merrimack College men's lacrosse team senior.
He's majoring in business there.
And finally, this is my favorite.
Actually, there's two more.
I had to give extra on here. Mitch Green, University of Connecticut philosophy faculty.
He was a philosophy professor.
In his profile, it says,
My current research interests include the evolutionary biology of communication, speech acts, and their role in conversation, empathy, self-knowledge, self-expression, and attitude ascription.
Not our Mitch Green.
And PCP.
I also like PCP. And have you heard Mike Tyson's a homo?
Have you heard my songs?
Have you heard?
And finally, Mitch Green, author of the book Know Thyself on Amazon.
Know Thyself, the value and limits of self-knowledge,
takes the reader on a tour of nature, value, and limits of self-knowledge.
Mitchell Green calls on classical sources such as Plato.
Not our guy.
Not our guy.
Also, developments in neuroscience and experimental psychology
and even Buddhist philosophy to explore topics at the heart of who we are.
That is impressive.
Also, did Buddha like PCP?
Something I need to find out
uh wow september 12th 1998 he's fighting again yeah of course jesus christ he fights uh sons
of italy hall lake worth again uh this is versus miguel otero who's 5 11 and 2 coming in career
6 21 and 2 oh no uh this goes the distance yeah and mitch loses a unanimous decision
guy it's over pal it's done it's fucking over man last win and then he loses like 19 in a row
it's just so bad yeah it's so fucking bad 17 5 and 1 for mitch october 2nd. This is at the Sports Fest in Staten Island, New York.
He fights Brian Big Man Nix, who's 8-2 coming in, an 18-12 career.
This fight goes the distance.
Let me give you a guess what happens.
Our boy's going to lose again.
Loses by unanimous decision.
Yeah, again.
He can hold on.
You're not going to knock him out.
He knows how to get around that shit.
He's a pro, but he's not going to.
Mitch, it's done.
Yeah, 17-6-1 for him.
Oh, it's not done.
No.
March 9, 2002, Annandale, Virginia.
He fights Danny Wolford, who is, listen to this record, 17-94-2 coming in.
17-94-2, I said. 17 94 and 2 coming in 17 94 and 2 in 120 fights he hasn't won 20 no uh his career record when he's finally done is 17 102 and 2 this fight goes all 12 how do you go all 12 rounds with this guy i feel like fucking my daughter could knock this man out
wow uh it goes all 12 and he went mitch wins unanimous decision because this guy i feel like
doesn't have arms no he just swings his shoulder nubs at you and once in a while he hits a guy
17 times out of 120 times uh this brings him to 18 6 and 1 uh now uh june 2005 uh he's 48 years old at this point
mitch he's getting up there he says he's moved on from boxing and he's working with an organization
called fist f-i-s-t yeah you know it's uh to help old fighters yeah uh he says uh uh man uh green
says quote to tell you the truth i saw him at a club and i was pushing
him around i was grabbing him by the collar and he sucker punched me that's what he's talking
about tyson now still that's why i wanted to say that he did that in an article about now at 48
years old at 48 years old uh he said uh he kept saying he kept hitting me he kept pushing me yep
that's right i did he changed the story now yeah i did fucking start it before he was saying he started now he's like i went in there and
fucking grabbed him and pushed him and you know whatever he says quote the guy is a chump i only
got 45 i got only 45 000 in the settlement just because i was mitch blood green the fighter the
courts chump changed me it wasn't because you started it i think it was mainly why because
you instigated it if you were an innocent man who wasn't a fighter and Tyson just walked up and sucker punched you,
you would have got $5 million out of him.
Yeah.
Now, the guy who runs the fist thing says, quote, about Mitch,
his story perfectly describes why one guy becomes champion and another doesn't.
He said, Mitch is basically unstable.
Some guys can hold themselves together and some guys can't. He said, Mitch is basically unstable. Some guys can hold themselves together
and some guys can't.
He said, Mitch is probably the most notorious person
we've worked with about Fist.
He says, but if you knew him and you know him now,
you'll see there was definitely a lot of progress, he says.
He said it's been almost four years
since Green showed up at Fist
and they tried to point him in the direction.
They even helped him pay his phone bills.
Oh, that's nice.
Shit like that.
He said, Mitch has been open to exploring new options of work outside of boxing.
He's been able to stay clean and out of jail.
He's doing his best to learn how to function in the world outside of boxing.
He's completed his training to be a security guard.
And we're in the process of helping him get a license in that field.
In the meantime, he's been working part-time club security, but it's not steady work. While these might seem like small steps, the fact that he's even interested and willing to try some
new things is actually a big step for him. They said that he lives in Queens. He gets it around
whichever way he can, which is tough because his driver's off. The license is not existent in New
York. They say past convictions have kept him out of that and uh they said he sometimes uh makes money
at this point by selling autographs if he can uh the guy at this fist said he doesn't seem to mind
uh and then uh he says at this point mitch says quote i like to call myself the bouncing boxer
because he's bouncing now i like to work i don't mind being around people and i don't mind getting
a little brawl if i have to but people but people make my work easy for me but i still want to fight i can fight i can knock
anyone out yeah no you can't uh but most of all i finally got a threesome to work yeah but most of
all i got him drunk enough finally turns out if you pay for it more than ten dollars they'll just
do it uh another guy at fist said quote mitch has always had a big mouth, but he's a good-hearted
guy.
There isn't a mean bone in his body, but he felt he got screwed by Mike Tyson and the
New York State Athletic Commission.
They forced him to fight Tyson for $30,000 when Tyson was making close to a million,
and Mitch knew it wasn't right.
This guy goes on about the whole thing.
They said, usually it's a three- one split. And this was a terrible split.
Don King was scared of him, but they finally told him, if you don't fight here, you don't
fight anywhere.
They basically threatened him.
Then Green says, quote, Don King blackballed me and Mike Tyson.
That knucklehead wouldn't fight me again.
I needed to have a fight to fall back on.
Man, I wanted a fight.
I wanted a fight.
Everything in boxing is getting a purse that you can retire on.
But Don King, Don Queen, denied me.
Sold me out.
I hate Don King, man.
I hope he chokes on a chicken bone.
Which is the strangest voodoo doll declaration I've ever heard in my life.
But at least he's done with boxing.
He's 48.
He's moved on, at least, technically, from boxing.
August 2, 2005, Omni New Daisy Theater in Memphis. He's boxing. Oh, boy. He's not on, at least technically, from boxing. August 2nd, 2005, Omni New Daisy Theater in Memphis.
He's boxing.
Oh, boy.
He's not done with it.
Of course he was done with it and everything's great.
Nope, he's not.
He's fighting this day, Billy Crowbar Mitchum,
who is a very dorky-looking white guy with a blonde mustache
who looks like he got that name because he works with a crowbar
in his second job as a mechanic at night.
He's 17, 12, and 1 coming in, and 8, 17, and 1 career.
So he's kind of a shitty fighter here.
Mitch wins by knockout.
All right.
This is his first fucking knockout in, like, 20 years.
Like, literally, this is his first knockout, I want to say, in 20 fucking years.
like 20 years yeah like literally this is first knockout i want to say in 20 fucking years uh brown four at two minutes and 14 seconds bringing him to 19 six and one and then won no contest
obviously two over 25 years he's he's barely got 25 fights under his belt crazy it's ridiculous
april 2006 he is set in fort arkansas or fort smith arkansas he's set in Fort Smith, Arkansas.
He's set to fight Butterbean.
Oh, no.
Yeah, that's where he's dropped.
How far has he fallen?
He's going to fight Butterbean.
Fight never happens.
Mitch backs out of the fight at some point because he said, I'm not fighting that fat fuck.
Do you know how stupid I'm going to look in there?
I'm going to look stupid.
And if he hits me once, he's going to knock me across the ring.
He weighs 400 pounds, that fucking guy.
So at this point, that was 2006 there is
literally nothing on mitch green what there is nothing he's alive yeah uh there's nothing
in 2010 or so he talked some shit about mike tyson again he was on the best damn sports show ever
around this time 2006 2007 depressing for a guest appearance. And that was it, man.
You can't find him.
He's dropped off the... Yeah, right?
Can't get enough of him?
I don't even know if this is him.
I don't think it is.
On Twitter, there is at Blood Green NYC.
I don't think it's him, though.
No.
It's just retweeting shit.
It's never that.
That's not him.
And only has 253 followers.
Yeah, that's not him.
I can't find him anywhere else. Not on social media.
Mitch is fucking laying low.
I don't know if he's in jail.
He's taking PCP.
I don't know what the fuck he's doing.
Hiding in Mike Tyson's bushes, maybe waiting for him to come home from one of his gigs.
He got a threesome to work and he ain't leaving.
No, he's like, I'm keeping all these girls here.
This is where I'm staying forever.
So that's Mitch Bloodgreen. Wow. did i what a story i don't lie that's an instant classic right
there that's just so much it's just so much crazy wrapped up into one one package what a life with
jerry curls coming off the back of the package my god that's a life right there he has lived a life
he's still out there man fucking. Fucking PCP and all.
He's out there.
So I would love to talk to this guy because he seems like he'd be hilarious and fun.
Yeah.
I don't know if it'd be fun.
Every five minutes, it'd be something about Mike Tyson.
And he'd be standing on your table with his shirt off.
He'd be like, come on, dude.
Kissing biceps.
Yeah.
Calling people fucking gay slurs and shit.
I don't know if that's okay.
So that is Mitch Bloodgreen,
and that is Crime and Sports for this week.
Hope you liked that episode.
I don't know how the hell you wouldn't.
If you like this show, that's the one right here.
If you did like that episode,
I know a way you can tell us and the whole world about it.
You can go to iTunes, Apple Podcasts,
whatever that purple icon is,
and throw a review down on there.
Give us five stars.
It doesn't matter what you say. Just say you're you're following instructions following directions it's not for our ego
doesn't matter at all please uh do that or wherever you listen to podcasts if it's not on itunes and
you can review on another platform do that yeah because it helps us everywhere and it really helps
on the business end so we really do appreciate that it all counts it all counts everything you
guys do for us counts even if things that you don't think count, count a lot.
I'll talk about that in a second.
You can also go to shut up and give me murder dot com.
And that's for all of your crime and sports and small town murder needs.
And hopefully you need it.
And there's shirts and there's mugs and there's skateboards and leggings and everything you can imagine is on there.
You can get tickets to live shows you can follow us on social media on there which is at crime and sports on twitter and facebook and at small town murder
on instagram as a matter of fact other things you can do from there is you can donate to the show
like this long list of awesome fucking producers we're going to talk about wow and when jimmy said
every bit counts every bit really fucking does count like we we always say this like some
people will they'll send us a message and they'll say you know i just i just gave you guys a patreon
donation it's only a dollar like i don't have a lot of blah blah blah blah i'm sorry and we're
like you're sorry why would you apologize are you crazy you're a stranger and you just gave us a
dollar a month it's a dollar obviously a dollar is not going to buy a lot but the point is there's a lot of people yeah and a lot of dollars equal something right and we don't if you guys send
us 10 cents we're like you know what man that's 10 cents that that person has that they want us
to have right and we're fucking proud of that and we certainly are thankful from the bottom of our
goddamn hearts so we don't we don't have people don't have to give big donations anything really
really helps us out a lot we appreciate all that you fucking do for us.
And you can do that over at Patreon dot com slash crime in sports.
Or you can head over to PayPal.
Use our email address, which is crime in sports at Gmail dot com to make a one time donation.
Both those links are available right from the shut up and give me murder site.
You can find them from there. That said, why don't we hear a list and hear how goddamn wonderful
and how much we celebrate our wonderful producers.
Jimmy, you know what you do.
Hit me with it like it's a 79 Lincoln Continental right now.
This week's executive producers are Carrie Schaefer, Shannon Russell,
Welshman in London, Good Dad Ryan Moeller, Kevin Mochizuki,
Lindsay Walker,
Sonia Mink,
I believe,
Mink?
It's probably Mink.
Yeah.
Diana Michelski,
yes,
Gage Foster,
Andrea or Andrea,
Stanson,
and Opal Schell.
Thank you guys so much.
Thank you.
Can't do without you.
Further producers this week
are Jillian Graham,
Jessica with no last name, Jen with no last
name, Lisa Hopple, Joanne Musick, Christopher Sheehy.
That might be the other Sheehy.
Adam?
Oh, Adam.
I don't know.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Or his brother.
Could turn him on to it.
I don't know.
Could be family.
Kale Washington, Dove Harper, Cody Spence, Thomas Smith, Janice Hill, Ryan Borky, Melissa Williams,
Allison Morris, Rachel Kennedy, Helena Canaver, Tracy Valken...
No, it's Trey.
It's Trey Valkenar.
Oh, okay.
It's the Valkenar III that goes by Trey.
Oh, okay, okay.
Ashley Culpepper, Kayla Innes, Kat Power, Crystal Childs, Brendan Ables, Jordan Bennett,
and Canadian Boobs. Is that... No? No Ables, Jordan Bennett, and Canadian Boobs.
Is that... No. All of them?
All the Canadian Boobs.
60 million boobs? Or there's
30 million people.
300 million. Well, no.
Two boobs per half the population.
So 15 million times two.
30 million boobs.
Gary Howard, Justin Miller,
Susan Gable, Justice Graves, Ted Cyrus, Andrew Paulson,
Jesse Hartman, Bria Green, Amanda Windsor, Reagan Schalke, she's the one with the dog
that she named Wisman.
Oh, cool.
Edward Go, or Gow, Alan Richardson, Kim Hodgkiss, Ashley Veo, Kathleen Uptegraff, Uptegraff,
Uptegraff, Uptegraff graph up the graph yeah i like where do you want
it thank you i want to do the graph the graph uh james martyr and harper uh abdul john or jan or
yan uh erica erica erica i fucking wrote your name terribly so zalanardo i think i think i got it steven crumley theresa thomas leticia herrera
uh lauren demirath alicia holbert uh john watson gina ozuna uh lanny lanny blunk mariah
man here bailey cox katie holland uh danny danny cave or cav uh magdalena
leonardus no leonardo wiss what did that what did i do ah what have i done leon leon nothing good
fuck something ritz to wits that's what leonardo wits i think that's right i think that's right
no it's not god damn it i'm so sorry meredith burrell uh clay thorson zoe uh bedna bedna
bedna bedna fuck this up uh bed nasky and anthony raro that's not right i'm sorry Bedna Fuck This Up, Bednarski, and Anthony Roro.
That's not right.
I'm sorry.
Elizabeth Martin, Abel Macedo, Angel Mattingly, James Foster, Rivka Arbetter.
Is that a joke?
I don't know what that is.
are better um that's is that a joke i don't know what that is i can't michelle and and tebby and tebby uh matt nixon jennifer deal uh cassie hilkey liz uh with no last name uh yaviani how did i get
that right but i can't get yaviani lorenzo god forbid kathleen uh kathleen uh lang bin lang lang bean uh what the fuck am i doing kyle alexander leslie with
no last name dj mitchell jessica christensen uh jake labir mia with no last name carrie nicholson
uh ali uh roberge uh robergy nicky don phil phil ph you feel? He's doing all this gun, man. Matt Dietrich.
Jason M.
Marcus Rippentrop.
Jacqueline Edmiston.
Amanda Gibson.
Crystal LaCrosse.
No.
Chouse.
LaCrosse?
What am I doing?
Esther Gabriel.
Tori Bonacci.
Strap in.
One last time.
Kyle Blaze.
Julia Wheeling.
Mary McKenzie.
Bad Fish. Squid. Don't look at me. bex alice britney with no last name russ linderman uh penny hambrick bring back
sharkicons what is that what have we done did we take sharkicons away i don't i don't think that's
that's i think that was i think that was sent to somebody else, and we ended up catching it. We've taken nothing away from anybody.
All we do is give.
Once we have it, we give it away.
I don't know what shark it comes from.
Once you have it, we won't take it back.
Apparently, we've stolen them all.
Jordan Lynch, Suzanne Larson, Amanda Short, Joy White, Shelley Warners, Mark Gavani, Jen Lamb.
She is down there in Houston.
AR, is that, damn it.
AR Feutzwagel, is that AR or AK?
I don't know.
Well, guess.
I'm saying AR Feutzwagel.
Make a stance, Jimmy. Teresa Meta, Jen XL, Angel Melendez, Troy Munguio, Megan Levitt,
and I left off an N because there's nobody named Mega.
There's nobody named Mega Levitt, right?
Maybe.
He's the ultimate Levitt.
The most Levitt.
Jennifer with no last name, Tommy Arsenault. Valerie Callahan. Belinda Chandler.
Tammy G.
Corey Magnuson.
Christine Palmer.
Corey Herman.
Sarah Reichert.
Maggie Lawrence.
Nikki Cofill.
Mike Kennedy.
Alex Cawthorn.
Or Cawthorn.
Madison Flatt.
Brandon Revell.
Reveal.
Revell.
Brianna Seeley.
It's all of them.
Carolyn Hart.
Caroline. Emily Campbell. Michelle Martin, Michelle Terry also, Megan Daly, Eloise Knapp, Mariah, Devin Reznikoff, Mary Jane High.
That's for you, I imagine.
Lainey Eagle, Nicole Tackets. Nicole Tackets. Nicole, really? What are we doing now? Nicole Leonardo. that's for you i imagine hey laney laney eagle nickel nickel tackets nicole tackets nickel
really what are we doing now nickel leonard what is happening tonight rachel with no last name
jed warwick uh megan wilgus uh anna zerkich uh brian with no last name kelsey marie allen renee
miller chris kirby leslie brammel uh meth falcon uh, Jonathan Wilder, Brian with no last name,
Tyler Guell, Prayer, no, Parker, Parker Adelson, not Prayer.
Why would anybody be named Prayer, James?
Answer.
Riddle me this.
Mega Prayer, motherfucker.
Yeah.
I'm trying my best.
Mega Prayer.
Andrea Tilson, Rhonda Allred.
My prayers will fuck your prayers up, bitches.
of prayers andrea tilson ronda all my prayers will fuck your prayers up bitches matthew murphy kristin waller amy ellis sarah wetmore megan crowley connie no it's lonnie lonnie hall
martina san francisco pamela thank you pamela souls christina jordan dylan leggy
sally earls or sali earls uh i'm ruining it amy hyler ross burn jim crow not the
jesus is in the law i hope not hey
be black people alone test fake gariscus uh martha martin marcia marcia shaw what did i
martha shaw i'm i'm a i'm a jerk and i can't thank you enough for what you did for us. Melanie Tomey, Belinda Chandler, Denice Arias.
I know that last name because of that shit bag.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And Keith Durbin.
You guys are fucking great.
Amazing.
Thank you, guys.
Incredible.
Thank you.
Also, you know, the other point is when people, whenever they can't donate, they apologize.
No.
How dare you?
No, don't apologize
thank you for thinking thank you for thinking of us and you listening matters yes that's the
whole point you do tell tell your friends a little more that week yeah if you want to donate and you
can't you feel bad don't feel bad just be like you know what i'm going to tell 10 people about
it and then it's fine and you know what we'll get a couple extra listeners and we'll be psyched
about that we just we're thrilled that you want to help us out in any way, shape, or form.
It's huge.
It's really huge.
So thank you so much.
And what if people wanted to help you out, Jimmy?
How could they find you?
You can find me at WismanSucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat.
And I try to reply to everything.
If I don't, at least just see it and acknowledge it.
But thank you guys for everything.
What about you?
You can find me at JimmyPIsFunny.
Or you can just copy and paste my last name from the show description and save yourself a whole lot of trouble in figuring
out where fucking eyes and ease and other vowels go they're fun but don't do it just copy and paste
an easter egg it is like a big easter egg like a big uh angel dust hunt it's wonderful uh that
being said everybody god damn we had a good time this week. This is what Crime and Sports is all fucking about.
Anybody coming to Nashville on Sunday, we will see you there.
We can't wait.
Live from the Crime and Sports studios, we will see you next week.
Bye.
Bye.
Hey, Prime members. We'll be right back. leading a short survey at wondery.com slash survey. Taylor Swift is soaring high,
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She's broken billboard records and made Grammys history,
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But along the way, Taylor has had to wage war,
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And then, by going up against the biggest live events company, Ticketmaster.
Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery Show Business Wars.
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