Crime in Sports - #168 - Just Put It In My Bucket - The Bigness of Oliver Miller
Episode Date: July 9, 2019This week, we gaze upon a buffet of disaster, as we check out a man who had all the potential in the world, but couldn't stop screwing up long enough to fulfill it. There were dark accusation...s of a horrible act, family troubles that led his father to murder his uncle, and a few gun problems for himself. Not to mention the fact that the scale was his worst enemy, pushing nearly 400 pounds at some points in his career! This one is biiiig fun!! Weigh in, every day, blow all chances given to you, and always bring your gun to the family barbecue with Oliver Miller!! Get your tickets to Crime In Sports LIVE in Phoenix, on October 19... https://phxevents.cblive.com/shows/106416 Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Stories on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports.
Yay!
Yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay indeed.
My name is James Petrigallo.
I'm here with my co-host.
I am Jimmy Wissman.
Thank you so much for joining us again this week
on another crazy edition of Crime and Sports.
They've been wild lately.
We've had OJ since the break.
We had a one-week off break,
and we then have had OJ, Lenny Dykstra,
and Dirty Dick Slater
of the Dirty Dick, you know,kstra, and Dirty Dick Slater of the Dirty Dick whole pyramid.
The Dirty Dick Daryl Dingus Dodge Daihatsu.
That whole umbrella, it's in there.
So it's been crazy.
And this week we're going to keep it going with a crazy episode.
This guy's just a character.
Not even really sort of an idiot, not really an asshole, I guess, but could be a real asshole
if something that was accused is true, then he's a real asshole.
But we don't know.
But anyway, he's just an interesting guy.
We'll talk about him in a second, though, before we get into that.
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And you can also get to those from where, Jimmy?
Shutupandgivememurder.com.
That's right.
And also listen to Small Town Murder if you don't do that,
because you're missing out on a lot of crazy if you haven't heard that.
We have a story of trailer vampire people who keeps birds as a snack in his pocket.
These are the type of people that we're talking about.
This is the type of cases we we're talking about this is this is the type
of cases we deal with on this it's insane so listen to that and that doesn't even scratch the
surface that sounds like something an eight-year-old says is under his bed yeah well this and that guy
existed this guy existed while he was it's disturbing but it funny you got to check it out
but we'll get into our own disturbing case this week. Great. And Jesus, we're going to...
It's because we've had a lot of heaviness, too.
It's been a lot of heavy stuff and OJ and a head coming off.
So we're going to keep it...
And this is a pun, by the way, or a little wordplay for you.
We're going to keep it lighter this week with Oliver Miller.
Oh!
Unbelievably not light.
That's why it's a joke, because he is not light by any stretch of the imagination.
Color or weight.
Imagination.
He's a dark man and heavy as fuck.
Yeah, no, he's two OJs heavy, is what he is.
I would call him two OJs, I would say.
He's like three Dykstra's.
Yeah.
Especially when he was drafted, early, like 86, 87 Dykstra.
Oh, man, Oliver Miller's like three of him put together.
Two huddling together and one sitting on top.
That's what it is there.
Oliver.
That's hilarious.
We used to watch games with him.
And getting back down the floor, it would be four on five for at least 10 seconds.
He's coming.
But you could always find him on the court.
That was one thing.
There he is.
There he is.
He stood out. He's taken
up two widths of lane.
It's Oliver J. Miller
Jr.
O.J. Miller Jr.
Yes, think about that.
And his dad... That implies
there's somebody bigger. There is.
O.J. Miller Sr.
we will talk about because he
will give O.J. a run for his money, that guy.
Wow.
This is a weird...
Already this is fun.
It's a weird one, man.
Jordan would have to do two spin moves behind him to get to the other side.
He's great on defense because he doesn't really even have to move his feet.
He's always taking a charge.
Just stay put, Ollie.
They can't get around you, I promise. He's so big. really even have to move his feet he's always taking a charge yeah just stay put ollie they
can't get around you i promise he's so big he's a big motherfucker and he was a good player too
we'll talk about he was fun to watch i enjoyed him i saw him uh in his first game in phoenix
yeah the first game at what it was then america west arena it was first game with him and barkley
and uh i remember being like who is that fucking fucking guy out there? He made Barkley look thin.
He made Barkley look svelte,
which is an odd thing that you don't see.
Like, I've met Charles Barkley.
He's literally two of me wide.
We're the same height.
He's a big fucking man.
We're the same height,
but he's two of me wide.
It's like, whoa, you're a big dude.
And now after retirement,
he's likely much bigger.
Oh, he's a big boy.
Seeing him on TV,
he looks fat as shit.
It's depressing.
He enjoys his food.
He enjoys his drink, as we know, the Chuckster.
We'll find out a little more in this episode, too.
There's a little bit of Barkley craziness in this also.
Cedric Sabalis is involved.
There's all sorts of things going on.
Oh, I know that story.
Oh, yeah.
It's a story, right?
That story was two blocks down from the house I lived in.
It was North Phoenix.
24th Street and Cinnabar.
It was at Dan Marley's.
No, Cedric's house.
Cedric's house.
Yeah, yeah.
We'll discuss all this here.
It's Oliver O.J. Jr. here.
Born April 6th, 1970 in Fort Worth, Texas.
So outside of Dallas there, I guess, in that area.
His mother, apparently, he ended up being, he's an only uh he was he ended up being kind of he's an only child yeah
and he ended up being raised by just his mom after a while here uh they talk about the day that his
mom left his dad and he remembers it and all that type of shit yeah because it was like i guess they
said that she she was driving home from school with him in the car with little oliver annie
miller's his mom and they went to a stop sign where they turned left to go home and instead they turned right and oliver was like four but he said
that's not the way home four-year-old knows his way yeah well he knows the turns if you do the
same thing every day and uh so she had to explain that uh you know that they're moving and that they
don't live with his father anymore and all that type of shit, which we've all had. Well, you know, you're...
I mean...
We've had the discussion later.
What's going on?
Why are we not like the Keatons on TV?
What's happening?
Who the fuck is that guy?
The Severs are...
Alan Thicke is...
Where's Alan Thicke?
Is he here?
Is my dad a shrink that's in a home office?
Holy shit.
So, yeah, it's not the same.
So, yeah, he ends up being, you know, raised with her.
She says that she because Oliver recalls this in an interview, you know, when he's 26, 27 years old.
Right.
And she says that she's not surprised that that would stick with with him.
She said, quote, bad experiences stick with him.
And she just said that she had to leave.
And that was that.
And tried to explain it to him as best as possible.
She said, quote, I was at a point where I was trying to keep it together for the family, for my son.
But the situation was not the best.
So she had to leave
which is understandable that it's i mean good god get out for what's best for you and for your kid
if you get her in a bad situation so uh he oliver's always a big kid that means he's gonna grow up to
be six foot nine and be you know 300 pounds in his in his not his heaviest but his playing weight
his good playing weight in the 1920 years
old yeah he's the 280 to 300 pound range a guy like that it can fluctuate to 10 pounds a day
oh i had a big meal last night i'm i'm 292 today i ate two buckets instead of one that's what it
is right i went to for four trips to the buffet or i went you know i had eight double cheeseburgers
or whatever the fucking food item is he's's going to have a shitload of it.
So you did make a chicken joke just now about a big fat black guy.
Oh, Jesus.
Yeah.
You didn't mean it like that.
No, I did not.
When I just brought it up to you, your eyes went, oh, no, I did just do that, didn't I?
So I had to point that out.
That is horrible.
So in case somebody else points that out.
I am a real monster.
Jimmy had no idea what he was doing there.
I just saw a big fat guy
jamming a bucket of chicken i'm like i'll make it better by saying other foods that he would
eat a lot of and i'm like wait a second no we need to acknowledge this he doesn't even know
what he did because i'm like he has no idea that was not that wasn't a bad joke or anything like
that he just was in the mood for chicken of a man eating a lot and that's a measurement of food a bucket which
yeah that's a yeah see what happens this is when you get mad at a comedian for saying something
on the fly like understand that it's it's on the fly and they're coming out i'm thinking of a
measurement not a racist thing especially if it's a live show or a radio show or something not not
a planned act that's written out like that.
Because you come up with a joke that you're like, oh, this hits this thing.
And it's like, oh, no, that went over there.
And then you have to explain it out of that.
And if they don't know you, our audience knows you.
And they're like, oh, Jimmy, you fucking idiot.
It's like throwing a misshapen ball against the wall and then seeing where it shoots to.
That's what it is.
It's throwing one of those
like rubber balls that have all the edges on it and then you stand there with your arms out
trying to knock it down it's going up no way you're gonna get it neither way the wrong way
oh shit no unless it comes right at me it doesn't matter so yeah that's fucking hilarious that's
hilarious but in jimmy's defense i guarantee you you he has had many a bucket of food of any kind.
He just wants whatever he's got served to him in a bucket form.
He's just like...
It could be peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Can I just get a bucket of them?
Just a bucket of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?
What do you fit in a bucket?
Like three dozen?
What about three dozen in there for me?
That's what it looks like.
Whatever food he wants, he orders it by the bucket full.
He goes to McDonald's and they're like, we don't have a Big Mac bucket.
No.
Do we have a Big Mac bucket?
No.
You say chicken nuggets bucket?
We got a chicken bucket.
We got it.
It's a nugget.
No, never mind.
We don't have that anymore.
Sir, we don't carry buckets.
I apologize.
Do we have like a pail we clean things with? He really wants a bucket. I don't carry buckets i apologize do we do we have like a pail we clean things
he really wants a bucket i don't know just empty the mop water out to you he said he doesn't care
i don't fucking know empty the mop water fill the friolator with shit and pour it in it he's
out of his car his face is in the window he's got a handful of cash i don't know he's just saying
just take this and give me buckets of food.
He doesn't even want a total.
He doesn't want me to bring it up.
He just said, just give me food and he'll give me all this money.
I don't know.
He seems really into it.
Jesus Christ.
The idea of buckets of food is too much.
It's so gross.
I'd like a pudding, please.
You know how much. you know how i want that
pudding a complete bucket so uh yeah she jesus christ so she in high school here as as she tries
to handle him as what she says uh he says he was a class clown type in school and in high school
he says that he did a lot of stupid shit with his friends,
illegal things and stuff like that as a teenager.
But he says he was, quote, too smart to get caught,
which just means nobody saw him
because they would have seen him from space stealing things
or doing whatever he did.
Don't commit crime if you're 6'9", 300 pounds.
Everyone sees you
he was the biggest fucking guy description biggest fucking guy i've ever seen just the
biggest guy i've ever seen i don't know he had a bucket under his arm stealing everything with
peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in it it was crazy the sketch in that would be a midge giant
man bucket of peanut butter and jelly it's the oddest thing oh super fucking weird smell him for miles
oh you know it uh she said she made him go to the new rising star missionary baptist church every
sunday oh boy that sounds hardcore that sounds fire and brimstone right there holy that i that'll
make you eat yeah i wonder if it's a sing-songy though oh probably not no that doesn't sound fun god no
maybe not it's a lot of screaming because those things are that shit looks fun take the jesus out
of it like that's just a good tune that's just catchy babe the choirs always sing really well
it's good man like if you put this about something else and just pretend they're singing about weed
or something in a small town in texas you know. Yeah, they know. It's good shit, man. I'm telling you.
That's what I want.
I want a full black church choir to follow me places.
Fuck yeah.
And repeat things I say.
Just sing what I'm doing.
Just sing.
I want them to be like the guy from Cypress Hill who repeats half of what B-Real says.
I want Sendog.
I want that guy.
But to be a full choir of people.
A whole bunch of Sendogs. Yeah. No, but to be a full choir of people, a whole bunch of send dogs.
Yeah.
No,
no,
just a full choir,
like a hundred people,
like a ridiculous amount of people,
full purple robes,
the whole deal.
He said extra cheese,
but like in a real,
and then just stop and have people be like,
and an Oregon and hallelujah.
Fuck is happening.
Just wait,
I'm going to make a video where I do that,
where I acquire a full choir to do that with i'll make a large donation to the church and i don't know but that
i think that would be fucking hilarious just everywhere i go unbelievable no hold on one
no no what do we have 103 103 we're gonna have 103 so good so uh yeah he said he was too smart to get caught at shit uh he said that some of his
friends from that time he would say later on quote are in jail or dead if it wasn't for my mom i'd be
the same so he said his mom broke his balls uh took him to church she said if she found out that
he ever acted up in church she'd make him sit in the front seat of the car on the way home so she
could reach over and smack him periodically not even just once she put it and pop him one yeah so yeah she would just
you son of a bitch and i turned up and then she would go on and on and it's another one sounds
like my grandmother would do that she'd get herself worked up again and get you get angry
again and hit you like we were anyone over this stop talking about it the more you think about it
the less you can believe it
because you've said that over and over i can't believe that's when i know i'm getting hit the
more it hurts the more you think about it the more you can't believe the more it stings grandma so uh
jesus my son of a bitch so uh his father i don't know how much time he spent with his father but
his father was uh said to be a football coach of some kind i don't know how much time he spent with his father, but his father was
said to be a football coach of some kind.
I don't know.
Some had something to do with football.
So Oliver grew up liking football.
And if he's a few inches shorter, he is the prototypical offensive tackle.
If he was like three, four inches shorter, six, five, six, six, he would have been the
blind side.
Oh, man, that's exactly what it was.
I mean, he's got good feet.
Sure.
For a basketball player of his size. I mean mean we were making jokes about him running down the
floor but he could fucking move he's still he's playing basketball in the nba he's not that slow
for a guy slow in comparison to spud webb slow with alan iverson zipping up the court but i mean
yeah for a normal human being he would fucking burn you you know he'd be faster than normal
people i mean he's a he was a he's a good athlete he really is uh so but when he was in the sixth grade apparently is when
he uh got into some sort of basketball he played some sort of basketball and this was the kind of
the the the point where he realized that he was good at basketball he started getting like praise
from the teachers and from people that he knew and he was like oh this is oh hey this is fascinating i like this yeah this feels good and he's big and
he keeps growing and getting bigger so they're you know encouraging him to play basketball
and so he started you know getting into basketball more at that point and playing on teams and
organized and everything like that he goes to southwest high school in fort worth uh high in fort worth area there and uh uh yeah he he says
he was uh he was hard to handle in high school is the way he puts it too because he liked to cut up
and he had you know friends that were assholes like we all did and shit like that uh he could
not play freshman basketball this huge kid that they wanted to play ball and he couldn't play because he failed english oh failed english he says quote i hate romeo and juliet which is ninth
grade english nobody else likes it either no he wasn't having any of that shit he was not having
romeo and juliet so he was uh he was not allowed to play freshman basketball because they already
had the rule of if you fail a class, you can't play ball there.
So he said that by the time he's a senior in high school, he's 6'9", 260 pounds.
My Christ.
He's a big fucking guy.
And another thing about Oliver Miller, he's 6'9", but he has the wingspan of someone who's 7'3".
Yeah.
That's when you measure out his arms.
His wingspan is a 7'3 person.
So he has the wingspan of just giant just a huge center his long arm bigger than shack type center so it makes
up for a six foot nine and you can you can play center because you're because you can retire you
balance all that out you're about seven feet basically is with because your arm length is
gonna is half of your game doesn't matter how tall you are how tall how high you can reach
is the how long can you make. How long can you make yourself?
Yeah, how long can you make yourself?
How high can you get in the air?
So, yeah, that's what he does.
So, he was good, though.
His coach called him,
his coach James Wood,
not James Woods, the crazy actor.
The worst actor.
James Wood.
He's a monster.
He's crazy, but he's a crazy guy.
I fucking hate that guy.
Yeah, well, he's a nutcase.
Yeah.
That's why.
The family guy loves to make fun of him.
And they have him on to make fun of him, which is even better.
It's amazing.
Which is so weird.
Well, because they started having him on 15 years ago.
Long before he went crazy.
Before he was all whacked out.
Real crazy.
Before he was really like now.
Yeah, now he's like a-
Now he's a fucking lunatic.
Yeah, I don't know what the hell's going on with him.
I don't even know what to call that.
He's just a crazy person.
Yeah, and I don't even talk about the politics.
It's other shit. Why would you talk the way you talk that. He's just a crazy person. Yeah, and I don't even talk about the politics.
It's other shit.
Why would you talk the way you talk?
Yeah, he's a crazy man.
And the hypocrisy is bananas.
Just sit back and say, I was in casino.
I am so lucky.
The amount of money I have is crazy.
For what I am? For the talent that I possess, the amount of money I have is ridiculous.
It's off.
It's off.
It's askew.
Slightly as skew.
So he ends up
committing to, colleges
are interested in him, major Division I
schools are interested in him. He's a big, giant
guy. And he ends up committing
to the University of Arkansas.
So he goes to Arkansas.
He goes to Razorback to play for
Nolan Richardson, coach there.
He is in his freshman year.
That's the team that had Lee Mayberry and Todd Day.
Remember Todd Day from one of the editions of NBA Jam being –
Probably 92 because he was at the Bucs.
On a terrible – yeah, but he wasn't on – I don't think he was on the first NBA Jam on the Bucs, though.
I think he was on like the Super Nintendo version or something it was like him and Brad
Lohas oh geez oh Lohas
yeah Lohas we always call him but yeah
Todd Day was in there but Todd Day
Lee Mayberry and Oliver Miller
kind of the second round
second round draft talent
team here but for college
that's three NBA players so they're pretty
good this year they go 25 and
seven they go to the tournament.
They beat, in the first round, they beat Loyola Maramount.
Yeah.
120-101, and then they lose to Louisville, 93-84.
So this was when they were trying to make the Razorbacks a good program again.
They were having some hard times, some troubles.
Oliver this year, he played in 30 games
started eight uh 20 minutes a game this is a freshman too so this is pretty amazing but he's
physically he's not a guy you have to sit down and go you need to mature physically and put 20 pounds
on to bump around with these seniors like that's not the way it worked with him they put him out
there and just push him around just swing your ass back and forth.
Just hold your bucket under your arm and push 7.7 points per game, 3.7 rebounds, 1.4 assists and two blocks a game.
Oliver's always a good blocker because he's got those long arms.
He's he fools you into thinking you can get a shot off and then he puts these big tentacles
up in the air and smacks the ball away. And you didn't get it off.
He's like that wacky car guy out front of a fucking car dealership.
Yeah, that's what he is, a swinging arm, inflatable, wacky two-man.
It's bananas.
Yeah, he's just going back and forth.
So 89-90, he's a sophomore.
They go 30-5 this year and go to the tournament.
This is when they make a long run, go all the way to the Final Four this year.
They beat Princeton in the first first round which is just funny why is oliver miller playing princeton
uh they beat dayton in the second round 86 84 that was a nail biter they beat north carolina
number eight seed at the time which they were a good team uh 96 73 number 10, Texas, they beat 88-85.
And then they go to the final four against number three seed, Duke.
And Duke beats them 97-83 because Duke is Duke.
But they went deep.
That's amazing.
They went deep, though.
This was a big deal and really upped the Razorbacks program's profile.
Oliver, too, it ups his profile. He plays in 35 games, 13 games started, 21.6 minutes a game,
11.1 points a game, 6.3 rebounds, 1.4 assists, and 2.4 blocks.
Two and a half blocks a game is nothing to sneeze at.
That's not too shabby.
That's a presence.
That means that people now have to avoid you
if they know that you're in the middle.
They're game prepping for you being there.
Yeah.
Now it's not even a matter of how many blocks you get but it's how many how many times people alter what they're
doing because you're there which is like how many times you change a play or a shot yeah it's like
a right fielder in baseball it's not about how many assists he gets to another base it's about
people stopping short of taking that extra base because they know he'll throw he'll gun them down
so it's it's uh it's a non-measurable stat is what I'm getting at.
So 90-91 season.
He is a junior.
They go 34-4.
They are the number one seed in the Southeast in the tournament that year,
which is amazing.
They beat Georgia State.
They won 17-76.
Jesus.
That's a beating.
Oh, that's embarrassing.
That's not even nice.
That's just fucking dick.
Why did we even come?
This is crazy. Wow, that's a 40-'s not even nice. That's just fucking dick. Why did we even come? This is crazy.
Wow, that's a 40-point ass whooping.
In college.
It was one versus 16.
But that's just embarrassing.
Jesus Christ.
They win 97-90 against ASU.
It's Arizona State.
They win 93-70 against Alabama and then lose to Kansas.
93-81 Kansas, a perennial powerhouse.
So that's going to happen.
He plays in 38 games, starts 35 games.
So now he's in this thing.
24.5 minutes a game, 15.7 points a game, 7.7 rebounds, 2.7 assists, and 2.9 blocks.
It's going up.
Three blocks a game.
That's heavy-duty shit right there.
That's nasty.
July 1991, though, the college has some problems uh the college team has some problems i should say there's some suspensions
on the team basically they had everybody on the team did something and they had to like
stagger suspensions so they still could fucking court a team yeah even red shirt freshmen who
weren't even playing got like accused of sexual assault and they
weren't around.
And oh, good Lord.
Yeah, it was bad.
They suspended Todd Day in July of 91.
Elmer Martin, Roosevelt, Wallace and Daryl Hawkins.
They were suspended through November from July.
Day was given another month after being linked to allegations of cheating on a biology test oh
for fuck's sake silly is that i it's so funny when you hear about guys who are go there he's
an all-american he's going to the nba uh he does not need a biology test he doesn't he's not unless
unless he plans maybe he plans on being a doctor when he's done with the nba we should ask todd but most guys aren't how
many uh nba doctors are there very few very few retire from the nba and go right into doctoring
i don't think he gave a shit about his biology test and cared more about the game against
fucking you know he may be playing doctor arkansas oh he's playing oh you betcha you know it so uh
that's it's so silly like when they talk talk about like the whole Reggie Bush thing when they were going after Reggie,
he'd been in the NFL for five years and they're going to.
If I was him, I'd go.
Who fucking cares?
Yeah.
You want this Heisman?
I don't fucking give a shit.
Take it.
I don't give a shit.
I don't care.
Did I take money?
Bet your fucking balls I did.
Yeah.
I don't care.
What are you going to do?
Suspend me.
I don't fucking play for you anymore. I don't care. I out of pete carroll's ass so he's gone too who gives
a shit do you think the saints care they don't give a shit no they just need me to be ready on
third down that's it they don't give a fuck what i did in college all they care is what i did on
the field off the field i'm a nice guy so yeah it was a little bit silly. I fuck a Kardashian. Yeah. Do you not know this?
So I always find that ridiculous.
It's dumb.
I get it.
The time to make a big deal out of it because they're in school.
Yeah.
If you catch them talking about it, it can be a thing, but it shouldn't be so stupid.
And when they give them money, it's like they all people take money.
People give money.
It goes on and on and on and on.
I don't know.
Maybe dig any of your fucking dirty pockets and pay them rather than giving the coaches fucking nine million dollars
a year you know what i'm saying i don't know you could put you could you could take one million of
that and give all the kids on the team a stipend yeah or you can give nick saban 12 million dollars
make that guy a household name for what and then have all those coaches go i just wouldn't think
it's a good idea to pay the players because they they all have the balls the fucking sack yeah to
sit up there with a straight face and say it's not a good idea to pay the player a conflict you
live in a palatial mansion are you out of your fucking mind this kid's trying to get del taco
money you fucking owner rolls royce you piece of shit greedy cocks they're trying to get del taco money you fucking owner rolls royce you piece of shit
greedy cocks they're trying to buy del taco from the del taco uh franchises that you own you piece
that's what i mean throw a couple of times it's bullshit those coaches their their salaries most
of the time they're the highest paid state employee so that's a taxpayer thing and i get
it's coming back with the football revenue and all that but you're paying them all that and then you're going god the kids would want
to they we couldn't possibly give them 200 a month for fucking expenses and shit that would lead to
it would lead to what would lead them to what try harder and maybe try to earn more money yeah or
it would lead to what less corruption is what it would lead to i see that happening probably because it's
school probably getting less money from the donors on the surface of the players
shit either way if the team's good that's all they want they don't give a flying fuck they
don't care that's what i don't understand i don't i i just don't understand how they can
with a straight face do that shit while they collect the salaries they collect because they're
obscene yeah they're fucking obscene it's gross they their big argument is well i mean yeah alabama
and some of these big schools they could afford it but what about the you know what about the
small school that can't afford about akron state when they play them blah blah you know what you're
gonna have to fucking subsidize akron state because without beating the shit out of akron
state 56 to 3 nobody thinks you're that great and you don't make 12 million fucking dollars that's
the point you're all in a fucking league together, stupid.
It doesn't make fucking sense.
No.
It makes no fucking sense.
Every other league has figured out, oh, guess what?
All the teams are kind of tied together and we should probably approach this in a smart way.
We should all share some revenue.
Yeah, share.
And, you know, college is like, you know what?
Every man for themselves.
Fuck Dayton.
Fuck Dayton.
Fuck the, I don't know why we're picking on Ohio.
Akron State. Fuck the players. They't know why we're picking on Ohio. Akron State.
Fuck the players.
They can...
No, it can be Wild West.
Do it all under the counter.
And then, you know, we'll all pretend like we're...
We'll all pretend like we're shocked and horrified when a kid took 500 bucks.
Get the fuck out of here.
So...
Borrowed a rental car to visit his family for Thanksgiving.
That's what I mean.
We're to fucking take his girlfriend out.
Who cares?
It's the fucking kid works his balls
off making the university
money and profile and
you're going, well, we gave him an education.
Oh, what does that seat cost you?
What does that seat in that classroom cost you?
Nothing. Not what the fuck he's
bringing into you. It's not the same or she or
anybody else, whatever the fucking sport is. It doesn't matter.
I'm just, you know, it's just bullshit.
That drives me crazy. They got an education. Yeah, they wanted to study biology at the University't matter. I'm just, you know, it's just bullshit. That drives me crazy. They got an education.
Yeah, they wanted to study biology at the University of Arkansas.
I'm sure that's Todd Day's dream since he was a young child.
Fucking cheated because he didn't give a shit about it.
Sat there going, if only I could go to the University of Arkansas to study biology, all my dreams would come true as a six foot seven fucking man who's been doing nothing but playing basketball my whole fucking life.
Assholes.
So anyway,
Oliver Miller also gets suspended for either two or three games for damaging another student's car.
That wasn't sat down.
He's shit.
So it tipped over like Fred Flintstone with the ribs.
Damn it.
He was suspended for the first two games of the season.
He apparently didn't just damage his car.
He got into a fight with another student on campus
and then damaged his car after he, I'm sure, pummeled him.
The student apparently called him a rapist for some reason.
Someone had made an accusation or who knows,
called him a rapist,
and then Oliver said
that this man referred to him
using a racial epithet.
So that was,
he shouted the N word
or some shit
and called him a rapist
and Ollie wasn't having any of that.
So he tipped his car over
like the Hulk,
I feel like,
because he's enormous.
He ate the fender.
He ate the fender.
Put it in his bucket and left.
Here's my, I've been looking for a snack. I like fiberglass. Put it in his bucket and left.
I've been looking for a snack.
I like fiberglass.
He just sticks it right in there.
So apparently a lot of these suspensions,
it was a big, this is ridiculous,
a big uncovering at the school of this huge scandal where all of the athletic programs,
so many people got in trouble.
And it was a huge scandal because guess what the scandal
was uh point shaving no no no no no nothing illegal like that uh shit it's got to be terrible
right it sounds i mean all these players are getting 20 scholarship athletes suspended all
these people suspended you know what it was it was for misuse of the athletic department's long
distance telephone get the fuck out of here they're calling home they they they records show that 20 current scholarship athletes made private calls wow
totaling about 2200 no 22 about 100 bucks a person what's nolan richardson make a year
let's fucking take it out of his fucking salary i bet he can afford it uh some that as they said
some non-athletes probably misused the service too but they lumped it in with the athletes anyway they were suspended from school uh in may uh after the
spring and all the way until november because they made phone calls boy oh boy because they
called their fucking girlfriend or their brother or their mother what a detriment to society how
dare we need to get see this is the thing gotta clean up this is why this show is important yeah
people like this we need to get them off the streets right away.
How fucking dare you pick up a telephone and call your mother?
How dare you?
Could you?
At a wealthy school who's making a ton of money and giving you nothing.
How dare you think that you have the right to speak on their telephone?
Also, how about that?
That long distance cost money at one point
that's the other thing that's $2,200 worth that's insane jesus christ i bet nolan richardson could
call his fucking mail order bride in china i don't know if he has one but if he did he could
call one cultivate a relationship with her order her have her sent to the school in a big box like
the leg in a christmas, like the fucking lamp.
Pry it open with a crowbar and then give the guy a fucking award, I'm sure.
And give him a million dollar a year raise.
A lady boy from Thailand.
Fine.
No problem.
Good job, coach.
We went to the final four two years ago.
Don't fucking rock the boat.
It's fine.
That one really does look like a girl, coach. Jesus Christ.
That's a pretty good job, coach.
Nice one, coach. like a girl, Coach. Jesus Christ. That's a pretty good job, Coach. Nice one, Coach.
That's what would happen.
But God forbid if a student makes a phone call, we got to go crazy on these fucking bull.
It's so funny how hard we are on pro athletes.
Like, I don't mean society.
I mean me and you.
Right.
We are hard as shit on the pro athletes because we're like, hey, dummy, you have money and you don't have to do that stupid.
Right.
You've made it.
You made it.
You protect it now.
Don't be an idiot. Whereas these college college kids we stick up for them left and right
because the fuck they're going there yeah they're being used so yeah i'm on their side a lot sorry
but also that this that uh environment creates them to be complete fuckheads later because
they're encouraging them yeah by not incur by just by
discouraging they're encouraging them to go behind people's back and be fucking i don't know
fraudulent is that the word there's a policy you can act however the fuck you want you can be an
asshole you can be an arrogant twat you can be a dick to everyone on campus but as long as we don't
find out that you're getting paid by anybody as long as we all just pretend like this arrangement's okay, we won't discipline you or treat you like a...
You keep playing.
But it's because you can't...
What are you going to say to them?
Or else?
All right.
Well, what else?
Or else what?
If they're not a big star and they don't care about their...
They're just there to play basketball or whatever sport, they don't give a shit.
In the NBA, when you threaten somebody, that's their income.
That's their livelihood.
They're threatening them.
Yeah.
It's a different story.
Hey.
You're going to take away everything.
You're violating these clauses of your contract.
That costs you this much money.
And they start going, I get a check every two weeks for that much.
If I got it for zero, my life would be a lot different.
It'll hurt.
It's different.
So, 91-92.
He's a senior.
They go 26-8 that year.
So, with all the turmoil of all these phone calls, Jimmy, I mean, God, ruin the
season.
Why don't you?
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SPORTS.
But it'll take your mind off the game a little bit.
That's what happens when you're making long-distance phone calls.
I'm sure it was the phone was to blame here.
Phone calls from a year ago were probably the culprit.
So they win in the first round, 80-69, against Murray State.
So that's a powerhouse.
A bunch of dudes named Murray. A bunch of dudes named Murray.
A lot of guys named Murray.
That's it.
How you doing?
Murray.
Murray Troublehorn.
Nice to meet you.
Starting at point guard.
Murray.
It's just Murray.
How you doing?
I'm Murray.
Nice to meet you.
And shooting guard.
They come up and shake hands.
How you doing?
There's no high fives.
I'm Murray.
Good to meet you.
And they introduce themselves to the other team
scored they shake each other's hands they go they go over the timekeeper how you doing yeah
they shake each other's hands good job murray hey thanks a lot pal great shot that's what they do
that's a pretty good shot there buddy all right a bunch of guys named murray they're all it's an
under six two team too you can't be over six two it's a exclusive team of short murrays it's an under 6'2 team too you can't be over 6'2 it's a exclusive team
of short Murray's
it's very difficult
to get on that team
they play Memphis
in the second round
and they lose
82-80
and get bounced
out of the
tournament
Memphis State
or Memphis
Memphis
straight Memphis
I think that's where
Penny Hardaway played
Memphis State
no Memphis
he played Memphis State
okay
and it was one of the
Memphis's
I only know that because I have the I have the card that's the rookie card that's the typo, and it says
Memphic State.
Oh, Jesus.
That's right.
I have that.
But yeah, this is just straight regular Memphis.
Well, yeah, nobody cares anymore.
No.
Sorry.
When I got that card, I was like, yo, he's on commercial.
This card's going to be worth all kinds of money.
Put this away for college.
People don't even know who the fuck he is now today like i have his shoes and people are like what are those shoes
the chris rock voice these shoes were amazing when i was 18 you know nothing he was gonna be
the best it looked like it yeah tall point guard could move could shoot fairly handsome
look at magic johnson part two there and caramel caramel skin, just a handsome sumbitch. Not quite Magic Johnson.
No.
We'll just say that.
Whoops-a-daisy.
And he got hurt.
Bad knees, right?
He was always hurt.
He was always hurt.
He was banged up a lot.
Bad everything.
He was fucked up a lot.
Poor body.
Which he was great.
His numbers were nastiest for a couple years, but then he just, it's too injured.
Maybe it was the shoes.
It was the shoes.
Yeah, Jimmy, take those off right now.
What's wrong with you?
So Oliver this year, 34 games, 30 started, 28.1 minutes per game.
So now they got him playing.
13.5 points per game, 7.7 rebounds.
Same as last year, exactly.
Three assists and 2.6 blocks.
So really consistent.
Looking like a good, big, wide- body guy you can put in a stick in
a lane somewhere to play defense for you in the nba uh he is the conference co-player of the year
and he's first team in the conference you know deal first team swc and uh yeah so he's he's uh
he's ready for something and the nba draft comes around here. And this year is obviously an interesting fucking year.
What year?
92.
Oh, that's a good one.
You know who was number one that year?
Was it Iverson?
It was Shaq.
Oh, it was Shaq.
Shaq, yeah.
Was Iverson in 94?
97, huh?
No, not that late.
How late was he?
I think he was 93?
96?
Was he the next year?
I don't know.
Or 94?
I don't know.
I don't remember now.
So it went Shaq.
Was Larry Johnson in this one, too?
Shaq.
Well, number two is Alonzo Mourning from Georgetown.
So you get, right away, you're getting...
Two huge, great centers.
Centers are at a premium this year.
And right away, the two big centers are taking off.
And then Christian Laettner, number three, was on the Dream Team.
You're looking for big guys right away absolutely jim jackson from ohio state remember him from dallas and he kicked around the
league forever uh lafonzo ellis from denver after that these are this is tom gugliata number six
this is just the 90s right here and a fortunate guy in a nutshell tom gugliata he's a goofy
motherfucker he made a shitload of money to do nothing he did he really did he made a ton of money oh boy well fuck for a while he was averaging like 27 points a game when
he was on the bullets and then he got to the suns and he was good for a year and then he had a knee
problem and he was terrible for the rest of his career and he made the most money at the end
when he was doing nothing oh no he was making a fortune doing shit doing absolutely nothing
todd day number eight okay to the mavericks to the Bucs? To the Bucs.
Yeah.
So that's his teammate there.
So that's pretty exciting if your teammate goes here.
Clarence Weatherspoon in this draft.
Jesus Christ.
Adam Keefe.
Robert Ory went to Houston.
Harold Miner.
Baby Jordan, as they called him at the time.
And that didn't quite work out.
No, it didn't.
Not quite here.
So finally here, as we go through i'm just having
a fun time going through the entire draft great great group of names yeah doug christie uh-huh
remember him yeah you know like a reality show where his wife was breaking his balls all the
time nuts yeah uh tracy murray who did not go to murray state because he was too tall
he went number 18 sorry you can't come here but i'm better than anyone on the team it doesn't matter murray it
doesn't matter tracy murray did he go to houston uh tracy murray i gotta go back to tracy murray
where i think it was houston uh tracy murray where the fuck is he uh he goes to uh spurs oh
that's right san San Antonio Spurs.
Yeah, fuck, I love these old drafts.
They're so much fun.
They're so much fun.
Finally, number 22 overall is Phoenix,
and they select Oliver Miller, number 22 overall.
Yeah, because the teams that wanted centers
got their centers early,
and they got, quite frankly, much better centers.
Yeah, they did.
Than Oliver Miller.
But he played here for fuck a while before he left.
Not really. No? We'll talk about here. Oh, they did. Than Oliver Miller. But he played here for a fuck a while before he left.
Not really.
No?
We'll talk about it here.
Four, six?
And his teammate here, Lee Mayberry, went number 23.
To the Mavericks.
To Milwaukee.
Milwaukee. So they got Day and Mayberry.
Yeah, they got both of them.
We want Arkansas's backcourt.
We don't give a fuck.
We just need both of them.
We really like the way Arkansas brought the ball up the court.
So we're going to do it.
Latrell Sprewell, number 24.
Is that right?
We've talked about many times.
To the Warriors. To the Warriors.well number 24 is that right we've talked about many times to the warriors to the we are to the warriors so number 24 spreewell what a fucking fun draft okay i won't talk about it anymore 92 93 that's the best time to watch the nba because
that was great jam magazine was great it was awesome inside the nba was on tv it was fantastic
with ahmad rashad it was really a golden time yeah there was so much basketball right in your
face and it was all fun because there were characters and they were allowed to be themselves it was like the
late 50s for baseball like all the black guys started playing he had willie mays and all those
guys so it was like all the best players were in there personality shine pre-expansion so the teams
were loaded with talent every team had just fucking talent down the down the roster absolutely
this is kind of how this was.
There was still expansion, but this was pre the Grizzlies-Raptors expansion.
And there was something about these games.
They were just personalities.
Right.
That's what it is. The NBA needs personality so much now that Kawhi Leonard is a fucking personality, and
he's a drip.
His personality is that he has no personality.
And people are like, oh, I can't get enough isn't it great look at him he's like wallpaper
he has nothing nothing no he has nothing over great basketball he's amazing unbelievable
unbelievable fucking boring he's boring as boring as fucking steph curry without a smile dude steph
curry bores the shit out of me god name a star right now and i'll tell you they bore the balls off of me lebron james is fucking boring boring unbelievably gifted comedic actor
oh boring as fuck boring as a human being and i get that he's trying to be straightforward but
michael jordan was boring also but he was boring in like a sly dicky way like he had a personality
it was i am buttoned up yeah i say my shit right, but I'm going to say it with a twinge that lets you know that I
think you're an asshole.
That was his personality.
And that I'm better than you.
Yes.
In every aspect of this game.
LeBron acts like he's like a CEO giving answers at some kind of board meeting when he's doing
a press conference.
And he acts like he's better than everybody, but then he's constantly getting bettered
on the bested, on the court.
He's getting fucking swatted. Well, now he's getting older. Right. But I mean, he's constantly getting bettered on the bested, on the court. He's getting fucking swatted.
He's getting older.
Right.
But I mean, it's been like that since he started.
Well, everybody.
Jordan, it was rare.
It was so rare.
People owned him sometimes, too.
Yeah, but it was so rare.
I'm not going to say, Jordan's better than LeBron.
I'll say that.
He's better than everybody.
He's better than everybody, just because he just-
He's Michael fucking Jordan.
Until people, unless he ever was beaten, it's hard to say that you know what i mean like he when he
goes to a final he's fucking winning the final that's it it's gonna happen team yes so did
everybody else in the finals fuck up so everyone else in the finals that's the thing they played
utah stockton and malone are both hall of famers yes they were on the same team together and they
were amazing together.
And they lost to Jordan and Pippen.
They always lost.
Yeah, because Jordan and Pippen were better.
That's it.
It's just the way it is.
And I fucking hate the Bulls.
Yeah.
And in the 90s, I hated Michael Jordan.
Yeah.
Fucking hated him.
I never wore his jersey. I never wore his shoes.
Knicks and Suns.
So he'd kill us in the fucking playoffs, then went into the fucking finals and beat the Suns.
So I hated his fucking guts. So this is not coming from anything i liked the hornets man i hated him
because he was so so good that's why i hated joe montana for the same reason it was the same thing
it's like you prick son of a bitch it's how sports are supposed to be yes that's supposed to have a
villain that's what he was yes he was better or Or he was the, or he was a hero. Depending on how you look at him.
Depending on who you are.
Yeah,
Barkley had personality.
Right.
He was all personality.
These guys had personality.
Dennis Rodman in the 90s,
for Christ's sake.
You were allowed to have
more personality.
Now they're getting,
and you could be the clean cut,
like,
guy that is like the hero,
like Isaiah Thomas.
You could be AC.
Still a fucking nightmare.
Yeah,
you could be,
yeah,
exactly.
That's the thing.
Yeah,
you could be AC Green. Yes. Who's a virgin was a virgin right a square and a drip but on the court
on the court a fucking he was a ball breaker he'd be up in people's shit stepping on their elbows i
saw this interview with him where he was saying how basically he would enrage kareem abdul-jabbar
to the point where he was going to kill him and then he'd switch off and tell someone else to
guard him because he's like he's going to start throwing elbows soon because he'd step on
his heels and fucking step throw elbows in his ribs and they asked him how do you how can you
tell when kareem was pissed off he says his goggles would fog up got that mad it's like that's amazing
i guarantee you ac green was lost his teeth that night because he pissed somebody off
yeah because he's a fucking monster that's what he said that's what they are well when they interviewed him about it he goes oh no i'm
all up in people's business he goes i'm not mad at him for doing that he goes i throw elbows people
throw elbows all the time that's just part of the game he goes i got under his skin apparently that
works picked his teeth up and he played the next day he did it's personality that's what we're
supposed to have and now they just want magic john be a... Magic Johnson? Right. Holy shit. That guy is a beaming sunshine of personality.
His personality is amazing.
There's nobody...
You couldn't get five teams together that have the personality that Magic Johnson himself
had now.
So much personality.
He got AIDS from it.
He attracted it from the universe.
He attracts everything.
Money, people, glory, winning, AIDS.
Things just come to him.
Pretty amazing.
And cures for it, apparently.
And cures for it, yeah.
92-93 is Phoenix, and this is a magical year for Phoenix.
And this was when I moved.
I moved back to New York because my mom came here for a year.
I was here for a year.
I moved back to New York, but it was very much into the suns because i had seen uh the beginning of the season
here and went for christmas back here and all that type of shit so uh very much into the suns
what a fucking fun run this is the first year with charles barkley when he came over and phoenix back
then phoenix now is still a desert shithole wasteland stopover. I get that.
But in 92, it was way more of a shithole nowhere desert stopover.
There wasn't a baseball team here.
There were six buildings downtown they called downtown.
There was that.
There was, I think, probably a quarter of the population we have now in the city then.
So it was just a completely different place completely different and the
sons were i mean the cardinals have been here for like two years and nobody gave it they gave a shit
about them the the diamondbacks weren't a team yet the hockey team hadn't been here so this the
sons were the valley's thing right they were the thing that started here they polarized the town
into actually having some pride of being it was true nobody has any pride to be
here because they're all somewhere fucking else well my mom first moved here i remember seeing
like buildings painted with sun shit with like sun's logos and cars painted yeah i was like what
the fuck is happening this is awesome like i thought it was cool as a kid and 14 13 years old
like this is really cool absolutely everybody's super into this shit and then uh yeah so when barkley came here it was
like he was a star from out there that was coming here not a homegrown star like someone chose to
come here it's crazy crazy so it was like the biggest thing in the fucking world and that was
right after the 92 olympics like when i saw the first game here uh that they played that barkley
was here and oliver miller was in that game before they introduced Barkley they did
a big light show with the Olympic
rings and it was like a five minute production
introduced oh my
God it was crazy and people were
like going nuts and throwing their kids on the court
from the upper deck like they just
couldn't control themselves take my baby
just throw it down
it was fucking nuts
it was crazy.
But this was a wild season.
They were great this season.
And just such a fun run through the playoffs.
And then all the way to those finals with that heartbreaking little cocksucker Paxton.
And fucking bastards.
I still remember that.
There's no T, right?
It's just Paxton?
It's Paxton, I think.
Isn't it just P-A-X-S-O-N?
It might be Paxton.
You're thinking of Bill.
I'm thinking of Bill Paxton.
Yeah, it's Paxton.
It's John, and he's got two other brothers, too.
They used to have those stupid commercials where they would shave in the 80s.
I'm like, who the fuck are these guys?
Fuck them.
Goddamn, Bill.
I'm not impressed with your shaver.
But yeah, Paxton, that little prick.
What a shot, too, though. he still had to make it i mean
you got to give him that right celebrating my birthday with my friends you motherfucker thanks
whatever you do don't give him a white open just don't let him live him out there we'll take let
them get they said leave horace grant for a layup yeah we'll go to ot just no three pointers and we
said no no we'll cover horace and no. We'll give him a cover horse.
Let him shoot. Bastards.
Give him a chance. That was a mess.
Bad times. The Suns end up losing to the
Bulls in six games that year.
And this is, I believe, the second
of the Bulls' titles.
Number two, I think, this year.
The three-peat came against Utah.
That was after. No, that was later.
Because he left then the next year he left
and uh then came back in what 95 96 came back so three people they won in 96 they won in 97
oh was then he came back after retirement got three it was three or he this might have been
the third because the next year was the next year was houston back to back so he was out after that
so this was either two or three.
I don't remember exactly.
I think it was two.
I think it was two also.
Because then he would have 96, 7, and 8.
That's three.
So did they have five or six?
Six, right?
Yeah.
I thought they had six.
So this would have to be three.
Jesus.
Fuck, man.
Jesus Christ.
So they had won.
Yeah.
No wonder I hated that guy.
Yeah, they always won.
Little bastard. I'm a Nixon Sons fan. I don't know what that is winning what is that i've never
we will never win nba championships either team ever ever and every year we get worse if i would
have taken that into account when the cubs won i wouldn't have been happy for them even at all why
you guys have enough had the bulls go away stop you greedy fucks yeah jesus christ your blackhawks
win your fucking white socks win your cubs once stop go away the bears and 85 had a great one
yeah it's a good one well it hasn't happened in a long time good it's been a while you don't
deserve one yet in a while you for that way you have to take you had a song and everything yeah
you have to wait a while for a long time this. You have to have heartbreak for a long time.
This team, this was hard.
It's just never going to happen.
The Suns and Knicks, they get worse every year.
It feels like if you randomly made moves, they would be at least as successful.
Who owns the Knicks now?
Dolan.
Oh, don't get me started on these fucking Dolans.
See, because that's what it is.
These cock suckers.
It's the owners of these teams that do this shit.
Yeah, because the Suns weren't like this when the Colangelo's owned them.
No.
They were different.
They would not have a bad team.
Colangelo's made sure there was a good team.
Colangelo's a successful man.
He's a business guy.
Dolan is a twat, and they own MSG, the MSG Network.
They own too much.
Doesn't matter.
They own fucking too much, and the problem is the Knicks are the most valuable franchise
in the NBA.
Do you know that?
No.
Because they haven't won a fucking thing ever.
That's why you'd find that really weird, wouldn't you?
Yeah.
You'd go, what's the most valuable franchise?
I don't know.
The Lakers, probably.
Probably.
Nope.
Fucking Knicks.
They never win.
Wow.
That's what I'm saying.
Why?
Because you're in a giant basketball frenzied market.
You're in a fucking huge market with a bunch of people crammed in there.
You can't fuck
that up they you could do the thirst for entertainment that's the thing it's a it's a
big deal to be on the sidelines at a game absolutely msg is 20 000 people it's a very small arena it's
it's not like giant stadium or yankee stadiums 20 000 people if everybody wants to see a game or if
they're it's fucking crazy you will you will be wealthy no matter how
poorly you manage that team and trust me they have been trying to do it as bad as possible
for fucking ever drives me crazy and that's really shocking too based on that great team that they
had for fuck six years oh it was such a good yes it was always competitive it was a different
different era granted they had to play against the Bulls every year.
They had to play against the Bulls, and they had so many good teams.
The Pacers, Reggie Miller, and the Heat
came on later on with Mourning and
all those guys. There were so many
tough teams to go through. And the Hornets were fun to play
too. They were fun to play against too.
It was.
Oliver Miller actually contributes
to this team too as a rookie. He plays
in 56 games, only starts one, team too as a rookie plays in 56 games only
starts one uh but he's a rookie yeah 19.1 minutes per games playing you know under half the game
5.6 points a game 4.9 rebounds 2.1 assists 1.8 blocks he's good back up center that's what do
you want uh and in the playoffs he averages 7.2 points per game and plays in 24 playoff games so
they believed a lot of times in the playoffs
your rotation gets smaller yeah you're not bringing in all 10 guys anymore you're now you
have seven guys and the other three are there okay somebody gets hurt this is the playoffs
fuck that so he was included in that as their main rotation which is good he makes 517 000
this year that's not bad would you look at that no for a rookie season grace wow let's say grace on ollie right here uh yeah right now everything's been fine yeah he's been
a happy guy he's a rookie doing well nobody's accused him of anything bad nothing bad has
happened to him going on nothing's going on uh yeah so grace we'll grace that right there um so 93 94 back with the suns again and uh
the january 2nd the week of january 2nd 1994 he is the nba player of the week really terrific yeah
look at that he's also very very fat and getting and getting fatter getting fatter yeah he uh you could watch him gain weight
it's it's remarkable it's uh wow those buckets the bucket markets it's
the bucket market in phoenix is booming at this time they're like well what happened yeah every
fast food chain's going our profits are up 45 this quarter would you look at this it's incredible
it's the greatest thing ever
and he is up 45 as well in weight uh yeah we're gonna talk about it but he at one point gets to
damn near 400 pounds wow yeah like king kong bundy level while playing uh yeah when he was
to the point where he couldn't even fucking move it was ridiculous to watch him was that food or
was that booze food it's food it's but he can't stop fucking eating
that's incredible he's an eat that's why the bucket thing and all that it's really very uh
apt with him because he is not a guy that's like you know will die and still get heavy uh we'll
talk about it but charles barkley has a a quote about him it's just talking about he's just would
have been a great player if he's not so wasn't so fucking fat yeah he's just wallet it and that guy
coming from bark because barkley knows he he's i gotta control that shit too he's like would have been a great player if he's not so wasn't so fucking fat yeah he's just wall it in but that guy coming from bark because barkley knows he's i gotta control that shit too
he's like i i kept it to a point where i it didn't affect my athleticism like ollie got to a point
where if he got going too fast look like he was gonna fall over and then be stuck there on his
stomach it got bad uh he says he even noticed it he says quote i got tired of seeing myself in the
mirror and seeing slop which is a good way good way to put it he said when i got tired of seeing myself in the mirror and seeing slop which is a good way
good way to put it he said when i was playing everyone was making it a big issue always making
me weigh in every single day saying you can't eat that why are you eating that uh and then he says
uh he would take a bunch of shit from players on the floor because they're from shit talking is
alive and well especially in the 90s this is Yeah. And this is the time when guys like really cared about their physique, where they started
to care.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
When you had like David Robinson.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Fucking amazing.
This is when this is when let's just call it what it is.
This is when NBA players started using steroids, too, and getting jacked up.
Right.
Yeah.
Karl Malone.
That's all natural.
Right.
He was just naturally.
Larry Johnson looked like that because he woke up and all right.
Natural.
Now, this is when they went, hey, we can take HGH and it'll look great we'll look amazing yeah that's that's
that always cracked me up because it doesn't matter it's not a physical sport so nobody cares
it's like well you're not going to hurt anybody like in football it's like well that's not fair
you're going to take his head off in basketball it's like well I don't know he's just running
he's just running and maybe it makes him have wind I don't know so i don't know we don't give a shit which i don't understand in baseball god forbid the numbers are
sacred and bad basketball we're like who cares he's fucking dunking better only number that's
sacred to me is dollar figures bitch that's it make them bigger that is it uh so yeah he says
he took shit from the opposing team they'd be be like, hey, Big O, you want a cheeseburger?
Shit like that.
They'd be like, hey, fat fuck.
He called himself the Big O, which, by the way, no.
That's Oscar Robertson.
It's also the orgasm.
But it was Oscar Robertson first, I think, in the 60s.
He was the Big O.
And he's one of the greatest top ten players in the history of the fucking league.
Averaged a triple-double for a season. He's amazing.
You're not the big O. You're the fat O.
We'll call you that. The round O.
And at this point in your life,
big O is a tire company, motherfucker.
Yeah, that's the other thing. You can't do that.
Which it shouldn't be either. No, it shouldn't.
But that's, I mean, you don't want to be
taking the same name as a tire
company. No. It's just terrible.
It is fucking terrible.
He said it got so bad that later on when he's playing for Sacramento, they play in Phoenix
and even the Suns Gorilla, the mascot was abusing him.
Oh, no.
There's a video from this where the Suns Gorilla is wearing like a fat suit and an Oliver Miller
jersey.
Oh, God damn it.
He's wearing a fat suit and an Oliver Miller jersey. Oh, it he's wearing a fat suit and an oliver miller
jersey it's pretty fucked up that's brutal not cool man as if as if a gorilla as a team mascot
isn't fucking horrible enough yeah yeah they're gonna make him fucking make fun of opposing
players physiques now too he's he said miller this hurt his feelings, he said. I'm sure it did.
He said, quote, I was friends with him.
I knew that motherfucker.
I fucking knew that gorilla, man.
What the fuck?
I got him laid.
Outside the suit, that little motherfucker's cool.
Bitch ass.
Man, I'm going to fucking smack him in the mouth when I see him next.
Take his bucket away.
You guys call him the gorilla.
That's George.
George, get your ass over here.
He got a bucket, right?
Everybody carries a food bucket with them, right?
People just carry that shit?
In a fat suit.
He just sees you.
He's like, hey, what's up, man?
Where's your bucket?
You're like, bucket of what?
I don't know.
Whatever, man.
Peanut butter, jellies, or cheeseburgers, or you know.
What you going to be eating today?
How fucked up would that have been if the gorilla in a fat suit is sitting there eating a bucket of PB&J?
A bucket of anything.
So Ollie says, quote, I was friends with him.
He said, I understand it's a business, but the thing that bothered me was my kids were at the game.
They were hurt more than I was.
That's terrible.
God damn it.
To have a fucking, to have a gymnast in a monkey suit mocking your father with fat jokes is not okay.
I'm sorry. He'm sorry fat shamed in
front of his kids by a gymnast in a fucking gorilla outfit before fat shaming is a thing
oh yeah yeah oh by the way don't say a word about this guys can fat shame guys we don't care and if
you do we'll go shut up fat so lose some fucking weight you fat fuck it's different it's different
it's not a psychological thing like women have it.
It's a totally different thing.
So, yes, we don't make fun of fat women usually.
So is it a double standard?
Yes, it is.
And we're going to enjoy it.
And that's one that can stay.
We're fully allowed to make fun of fat guys.
It's great.
I love it.
Because someday we'll be fat guys too, I'm sure.
You've been a fat guy here and there.
I've been a fat guy.
And you lose weight.
I'm fluctuating worse than Oprah.
You're a good fluctuator.
You're looking good, though. You're svelte right now. I've been a fat guy. And you lose weight. I'm fluctuating worse than Oprah. You're a good fluctuator. You're looking good, though.
You're svelte right now.
I'm doing my best.
Good job.
Ollie up.
You're going to be ollieing up at some point.
Wait until we get on the road and I'm just taking a bucket of PB&J with me.
Can you take that through security?
I don't know.
We're going to find out.
These don't explode.
I'll be all right.
Sir, what is this?
It's a bucket of peanut butter and jellies.
You can have one if you want one.
Sir, why do you have them in a bucket?
Where do you keep your food? What are you going you gonna do with them you see how many i've got
what i'll see hold on where do you keep them i'm not how many of those you think i could fit in my
pocket man dude i'm full of stuff and you said to take everything out of my pockets so what was i
supposed to do i put them in the bucket. I got a bucket.
Duh.
Jesus.
Am I?
No wonder why the airport works so slow.
These people aren't very bright.
No, you can't have a... Son of a shit.
So, yeah, he's hurt by that.
This year, he plays in 69 games for the Suns.
He starts 30 this year.
So he's platooning with Mark West at this point.
And this is right before they brought in Hot Rod Williams and their cabal of terrible fucking 90s sun centers god damn it
what are you six nine six ten yeah go here you you're worth five fouls get in there that's all
it was how much can we pay joe klein to foul people all day not play ever to play three minutes
a game come in foul a guy go sit back down thanks joe klein useless
fucking useless man the 90s were good for uh redheaded centers like if you were a ginger
and seven two you could be you could play in the nba and you get paid money athleticism who cares
you got right there wave your arms around get in here just Just be there. Can you fit in this jersey? Perfect.
Ollie, no, you can't?
Okay, never mind.
Bye.
Sorry.
We got Joe Klein.
The answer's always no for Oliver.
I can't fit in that jersey.
So, yeah, he plays 25.9 minutes a game, so that's a lot.
It's more into the rotation.
9.2 points a game, 6.9 rebounds, 3.5 assists, and 2.3 blocks.
Yeah.
Coming around. That's a decent 2.3 blocks. Coming around.
That's a decent second-tier center.
Not bad.
Makes $672,000 this year.
Going up?
Yeah.
Not terrible.
So that season, the Suns have another really good season.
And this was another exciting one where you thought they had a chance.
Like, okay, last year we made it to Game 6,
and this year we're going to finally go over the hump and do it
and instead the goddamn rockets were the juggernaut in the way of us and uh seven game series i
remember it took it all seven and uh it was it was brutal they had so many good players though
it was tough but you it's hard to play elijah one if you have no center it's just hard if your
centers are mark west and oliver miller it's difficult to have elijah and not have him dominate you mario ellie was on that hell
and fucking vernon maxwell and that was such a little robert ory it was a loaded team kenny
kenny uh kenny smith yeah kenny smith shooting so many great players the tough they were a really
tough squad man that was tough so no no shame in The Rockets go on to win two straight finals.
And that year, let's see, in the Western Conference Finals, they beat the Suns in seven games and crushed my fucking spirits.
And then went on to beat the Knicks in seven games in the finals and make me even more fucking miserable.
John Stark's going none for fucking 19, you cocksucker.
Fucking Pat Riley.
Don't pull him out.
Just shoot.
Keep shooting.
14 games. that's what it
was a couple like three weeks of me being completely fucking miserable as a child jesus christ so
may comes around they lose that series uh barkley had a tough time too barkley had a groin injury
and uh i remember that series against houston every time every time that uh there'd be transition
and going back the other
way he would do that turn and like oh shit try to get running because his groin hurt like oh we have
to go back now fuck can we just can we play half court just stay down here for a while coach i'll
just hang you know outlet passes man i'll be ready down here i'll be right next to the paint don't
worry about it uh so they they lose in in the seventh game, which was brutal.
And they get home that night, May 21st of 1994.
And the next day they get home.
And there's an interesting event that happens here.
And this is from an article in the Phoenix New Times by a guy named Darren Hostetler.
And this was widely reported.
This is not like this is the one place where it was.
It's widely reported.
And we'll explain exactly what happened.
And we don't know if it happened or it didn't happen because we weren't there.
So we have no idea.
But we'll tell the story.
I was close by.
As it was told.
I was asleep three blocks away.
Yeah, you were right away.
You could have gone over there.
I got knocked on the door. If I didn't know we were gonna do this shit i'd have gone
and asked some questions damage to me have some fucking foresight instead i got foreskin shit
damn it well that's a problem so uh by the end of the uh by that night barkley and uh and a couple
of the guys decide to hit the town and go out and do whatever so it's charles barkley cedric
sabala so if there's a party going on yeah sed's gonna be there if you live in phoenix and have And a couple of the guys decide to hit the town and go out and do whatever. So it's Charles Barkley, Cedric Sabalis.
So if there's a party going on, Ced's going to be there.
If you live in Phoenix and have been in Phoenix for 20 years and you've seen Cedric Sabalis at a bar, at a club, at a restaurant, he's just always around.
He's a fixture in Phoenix.
Back then, he had a 5.0 convertible Mustang that was loud as all balls.
No shit. And he would drive that fucking
thing everywhere so you would see him everywhere in that oh yeah he was was it orange or was it
i think it was orange that makes sense i think it was like sun's orange that's a because i used to
work at a bar in downtown phoenix and he was there all the time yeah he was just always wandering
around picking up women just fucking being just being cedric's about being a foot taller than
everybody you know just walking around with his head sticking up so you just fucking being a foot taller than everybody.
Walking around with his head sticking up.
You just look over the crowd and there's Ed's here.
And nobody else you can find except for him.
There he is.
When Sean Marion got drafted, they brought him in to the bar there.
And he was in a suit.
And he was nine feet tall in this fucking suit.
And he was just all stiff.
He doesn't want to tear it. Yeah.
It was expensive. Yeah. He's like so tall. fucking suit and i'm like he was just all stiff and like he doesn't want to tear it yeah it was
yeah he's like so tall it was he looked he looked tall like what like when a man on stilts looks
tall right it looks like that they start uncomfortably tall losing their balance they're
gonna fall down that's what sean marion looked like to me in a suit it was disturbing he looked
like that way on the fucking court he did his shot was awkward it was so good he's so good so weird
yeah he was an ugly ugly shooter great defender and his shot wasn was awkward it was so good he's so good so weird yeah he was an ugly
ugly shooter great defender and uh his shot wasn't bad it was just ugly shot from his chest like a
like a kid who hasn't been taught properly right like a 12 year old that it's just the first day
playing basketball you're like oh let me show you how to do that kid yeah you look stupid son he's
dropping threes uh so they decide to go out oliver miller cedric sabalis and charles barkley that's
a large group of men barkley and miller going out together is insane they're they're taking a bus
there's a pickup truck somewhere they got them that they got in the back of right yeah they each
had their own bed so uh yeah they do that they go to a nightclub named jets with a z of course yeah
hey you gotta have that is that still okay i was gonna say that's still an operation i hope i'm some douchey scottsdale it's what it was it's a it's a scott's
it's scottsdale yeah yeah total i was gonna say guarantee you it's old town scott's right there
by where access radius was in that douchey yeah it was it's fucking a horrible area you mean in
the in the rape corridor that's the one in the in the the roofy section of town in the rape corridor okay that's what i thought
there yeah that's what that is if you're from phoenix you're laughing because you understand
that that's 1000 true it is a date rape central you know right date rape it's right off date
rape central in the roofie corridor right in the in the rape quadrant of the rape district of the
yeah it's all just uh ofelcome of roofie county into women
that's what it is not good here terrible uh this is apparently a joint where they would go all the
time after after games this was like a hot spot for them uh so uh they go out they have some some
uh some partying to do and we'll we'll find out what happened a little bit later on here but uh well we'll find out right now
at 605 the next morning a phoenix police detective gets a phone call yeah on a sunday morning and
he's instructed to go to a phoenix home and interview the possible victim of a sexual assault
yes that night now uh uh right away he is told that the this involves uh the sun star oliver miller and
charles barkley's involved and cedric sabalis and this isn't like a this isn't your normal
normal case this isn't your date rape that's that happened in the rape corridor this actually went
out out of it it got out of it uh they got out of the parameters that's what happens man it's
they sidestepped the guards and they got out of there and then it went to another location the the the yeah but the scott's old
town scottsdale date rape is like the it's like the the the shadow monster and stranger things
like it just it leaks out and it's one little crevice and a piece of it stays in the world
and gets under somebody's skin and infects somebody and they all melt together and it's a big giant thing.
It's fucking crazy.
And then somebody's nose is bleeding.
And if Winona Ryder
doesn't save the day,
we're all fucked.
Yeah, you know how it works.
It's fucking nuts.
By the way, Jesus Christ,
how about everybody die
while you sing
the never-ending story,
you fat little fuck?
What the fuck happens?
What is going on?
Yeah.
Sorry, you didn't watch the news.
I watched Stranger Things. I've started it. For Christ's sake. It doesn't make any sense already. Sorry, you didn't watch the news. I've watched Stranger Things.
I've started it.
For Christ's sake.
It doesn't make any sense already.
No, it's really good this season.
It's really good, but everybody's going to die because you have to sing the never-ending
story now?
And it's been in my head for four days, too, you fuckers?
I can't wait.
God damn it.
I'm at the end of the first one.
Oh, you'll enjoy it.
It's great.
It's a good it's good season
i mean it's not bad i just don't does it good i mean with the first one started it started pretty
slow fast well they gotta set something up and see where they've been for the you don't even
know where these guys have been for and also now they know that people give a shit and want it
yes they have to set it up right but it's it's not bad it's really good it's uh it's weird it's
full of keep a notebook and write down the 80s tropes next to it it's like there's a lot of red dawn mixed in and
there's also uh day of the dead in there and uh fast times at ridgemont high is paralleled a lot
and uh it goes into but it's even like the dialogue they have a lot of like because they
reference cheers in the beginning it's a a long story, but they reference Cheers.
So there's a lot of Sam and Diane,
will they or won't they dialogue
between Hopper and Winona Ryder.
So they do that on purpose.
So there's a lot of shit to pick out
where if a kid who's 14 is watching it,
they won't know...
They're not going to get it.
They won't know that that's anything.
They'll just watch it for what it is.
But if you're watching, you go,
oh, I see what they're doing here.
So they're target audiencing me and you
and then hoping they hang on to those kids no no i think they're those
kids are just into the story anyway and then they're me and you are going to figure out what
they're going to do and they're going to have them walk down a cereal aisle and see mr t cereal and
all the cereal that we had when we were fucking five and all that shit yeah they're going to do
that stuff and twist us up that way and have the never ending story song stuck in my head for a week.
Bastards.
So totally off the subject.
That was.
So anyway, they said that it was pretty, pretty.
He was one of the top detectives here.
They said that it was, you know, this was a sensitive thing.
So they said it couldn't wait until Monday.
He gets to the house and the uh
the house here is this woman we won't give her name obviously here uh she said that the police
officer said when she got there when he got there the woman was lying down on the couch she had a
robe on uh she he asked her where the clothing that she'd been wearing earlier she said that uh
her pants were somewhere but there was no reason to give the clothes to the police officer because she's not planning on prosecuting.
She says she doesn't want to prosecute.
She says she also does not want to have a medical examination.
No rape kit.
She wants nothing, she said.
She just wants to be left alone.
Okay.
Her friend was there, though, and her friend said, can you leave us alone for a couple minutes to the police officer?
Let me talk to her for a minute.
And her friend said, can you leave us alone for a couple minutes to the police officer?
Let me talk to her for a minute.
And then a few minutes later, her friend exited the house to talk to the police and said that she changed her mind.
And now she'll get a medical examination.
She was just saying, I don't want anything to do with it.
I just I don't want any of this shit.
And her friend was like, dude, you know, whatever. So apparently they went to John C. Lincoln Hospital.
Right.
Up the street from here where she's examined.
hospital right up the street from here uh where uh she's examined they said that uh there was no physical signs of trauma as far as she wasn't bruised or punched or beaten or held outwardly
yeah no uh you know wrist lesion marks she wasn't tied down or anything like that but they said
there was quote redness of the vaginal area that appeared she had had uh she had had sex so there
was just that samples of fluid uh they took you know
samples of fluids and shit like that and uh this is what the police officer wrote of what after
talking to her at the hospital quote mary did not seem intoxicated she did appear withdrawn tired
sleepy and showed little emotion until until she began describing particular sex acts uh she said
that she had felt uncomfortable talking to her,
talking to the police officer, who's a stranger,
about intimate things like that.
Sure.
Which, duh, yeah, fuck yeah.
You're going to have to fucking illustrate for somebody your sex life?
I would hope a detective in this field would be sensitive enough to that
to be able to, you know, that's why they have SVU, you know what I mean?
Like on TV. Get Ice Cube in here, or Ice T, see i mean chris maloney's gonna make you feel better ice
cube is not no he's gonna come in what motherfucker ice tea might be a little no he's gonna be
terrible no he's gonna be awful at it too you don't send ices you don't send ice tea it's funny
he's not the one they send in to talk to the girl who's been traumatized that's they don't send ice
tea in there tell me about a bitch you wait outside hey ice wait outside no your cat called
her ass on the way in you said yeah that's a fat ass baby like we can't have that shit in the svu
wait you can't you deal with the criminals you fuck with them because you're badass with them
you don't have a fucking tackle and put a guy cool but we can know the girl let's have you talk to
her let's let mariska haggerty take care of this thing what do you say did you say hagerty what's her name hargitay hargitay
hager i thought it was hager i have no idea what her fucking name that was awesome who cares what
her name is the lady from svu that doesn't do anything else i don't fucking know her mom i was
gonna say whose mom was more famous her mom was amazing Her mom was the lady that... Jay Mansfield.
Yeah.
She's great.
Terrific.
I don't know.
She does nothing else.
And Mariska was in the back seat when her mom died.
I don't know if you know that.
I did know that, actually.
She got that little bar on the bottom of a semi.
It's called a Mansfield bar because her mom was almost decapitated.
Whatever.
They went a little exaggerated.
But that bar is there now so that you don't get decapitated.
And Mariska was in the back i feel bad now making fun of her
not for that doesn't do great no no not for that listen you get in a car accident doesn't make you
a great actress my my cousin who's like 21 now when she was a child she was a she was an actress
she was in a lot of things and she was in a couple episodes of svu two different ones where she was
like you know kind of a of an intricate part of the plot
there, and they are
like the nicest people. Oh, Jesus!
I thought you were about to just tell us
that your sister got in a car accident
and was decapitated. No, they were just very nice
to her as a child, as they treated her well
and they took her aside and were very
nice to her, and so they're nice people, and I feel
bad for making fun of her, because I know she's nice,
and that makes me feel bad.
I feel bad if people are nice yeah like that's all you have to be is nice and i'm like i kind of feel like a dick now she should be nice i mean she was humbled
super early in life that's true if she was a bitch about things now you'd probably still understand
yeah so uh now this woman talks to the officer about the preceding 12 hours.
And all of these details are also confirmed by separate interviews of the two women she was with.
So, like, everybody has the same story.
You know, all three women that were here.
Apparently, this woman and her sister and their friend, they give them names in the article of just aliases.
And we might as well do that.
So there's names uh the woman in question that we're discussing not she's not in question but
the woman who was at the hospital here mary that's what they call her they call her sister kelly and
they call their friend sue so that's easy enough so uh they had uh apparently said they were going
out that night to go country dancing hell yeah so this is 1994 they are gonna go fucking billy ray cyrus it up
right there this is prime time achy breaky horseshit yeah right now this is so much rodeo
oh jesus much nightmares uh friends in low places my nightmare all night on loop this is when i moved
here and when i come here there'd be like billboards of country music stations i'm like where am i this is you're in the land of the thunder rolls no i can't i can't do it
so that was the plan uh mary left her two kids with a friend and went to dinner with her with
uh her two friends here the three of them said they were planning on doing that uh they went
to dinner and then they were planning on going country dancing and then they changed their minds and stopped by the jets nightclub which i mean i'm sure there's there was
country bars in old town so that's one of those things are we going to this place or that place
it's four or five doors down or whatever but jets they're looking a little weirdly dressed in there
and they're cowboys i was gonna say if they went out that's a different crowd yeah i would think
from one to the other especially in 94 that's a way that's a nightclub yeah and you got your fucking cowboy boots on that's a club where rich black
guys go to party like you don't work the cowboy gear to that one it's a different type of place
silk shirts in here that's what i'm saying what's that about strange so they got there about nine
o'clock and uh everybody said they each had a had one drink and then they danced for about an hour
they did the you know had a drink and danced with it for a while
and did all that.
Apparently, they were about to leave about nine.
They were going to go to somewhere different.
They're just going to bounce around.
Old town, you can do that.
And they said as they were about to leave,
there was a kind of a commotion near the entranceway.
And Mary's sister saw Charles Barkley come in the nightclub.
At this point, Barkley is next to Jordan, charles barkley come in the nightclub at this point barkley is
next to jordan the most famous basketball player in the world star and he's a giant star in phoenix
multiply that by a hundred right by a hundred because this market has nobody famous he's the
biggest star that's ever been here other people like we said have come here have been drafted
here and become stars here but that's different outside person coming in, they're so much bigger.
And judge the athleticism of, say, Tom Chambers versus Barkley.
It's not the same playing.
You can't underestimate, because some people that listen to our show are too young, the
Dream Team, that 92 Dream Team, how famous those guys were.
It was ridiculous.
Worldwide. Barkley was a worldwide sensation. So phoenix it was like oh my god yeah so he came into the nightclub there and barkley
apparently walked up to mary and began talking to her hey cowgirl picture yeah i think he was like
damn that's a weird looking what are you doing in here your shirt look like a picnic table let's have a talk that's cool yeah so uh began talking to her uh he didn't introduce himself at all which is a cocky move
that is just walked over like hey how you doing yeah you know i'm charles but you know i'm charles
barkley he just walks up and goes hey what. What's happening? Yeah. You know.
You know.
How are you?
Yeah.
Let's chat.
That's weird.
I want that one day.
Oh, that's so awesome.
Imagine that.
Well, she said she didn't know who he was, actually, which is weird.
Well, because she likes country music.
Yeah.
You have to have no, like, you would have known.
Even if you weren't a basketball fan in Phoenix, it's hard to avoid Charles Barkley.
You have to be oblivious. You had to really not care about anything so she said she didn't know who he was
but her sister did and her sister said that's fucking charles barkley's hugely famous and the
biggest star in the world and she's like oh yeah what the hell she said that he had a quote another
little guy named pookie with him that's his entourage that's his entourage he's got a guy
named pookie who i assume is the guy who's not allowed to drink well he gets shit faced and so he can drive him home
yeah uh she said that there were not uh that there were not a shitload of people at the bar
when the players first got there but then when they were there for a few the place got crowded
takes a second for people down the street to go exactly barkley's yeah everybody ends up you're
not gonna believe it and the three of them too and everybody ended up that
became the hot spot on the owner of the bars like fucking yahtzee i'm paying my mortgage this is
yeah holy shit so uh mary also talks to oliver miller who they describe mary as five foot three
and 113 pounds so oh my god unfortunately oliver miller when they first started talking, he was very confused and tried to put her in his bucket, which was, she said, I'm a person.
I'm a person.
No, I'm not.
And he went, oh, I thought you was a snack.
I'm sorry.
I thought Pookie brought you to me to eat.
He said, that's good because I'm real hungry.
It wasn't going to be enough.
So she gets out of the bucket.
Apparently, she says oliver
grabbed her by the hand and asked her if she wanted to go to a party uh he proceeded to take
her by the hand uh to a place in the bar where they were in the corner yeah they're on they
formed their own little vip section and she took him over she took this mary over to the corner
there come over here oliver then asked Cedric Sabalis what his address was
since it was his house
where the party was going to be held.
And again, at this point,
according to everything said here,
Miller asked her if she was going to the party.
She said that she wasn't sure
because she was going to go to another club.
So she wasn't positive.
He told her that he didn't mean right now,
but after the closing time, we're going to party. So even if you go to another club... No,'t positive he told her that he didn't mean right now but like after this after the closing time we're gonna party so even if you go to another club no but it's
naked time circle back it's like 10 o'clock i'm not even shit-faced yet and we need to gather
like a harem right like we need like a group we gotta find more girls and more buckets that's how
it goes we'll go home anybody hungry i'm just hungry we just ate oliver well my my bucket's
getting empty and i just need to
pokey fill my bucket so uh yeah she said that she was going to another club he said not right now
and then he gave her an address and she said okay and this was cedric sabalis's address right
because his parties are at her house it's like 2311 east cinnabar or something like that some
shit the funny part is too we know somebody else that lived right by cedric sabalis do you remember that no friend of ours we i'm not going to name these people on
the air and just blow them up in case i don't know whatever but why do i can't friend of ours
boyfriend lived near cedric sabalis and he was talking about him to us and how he why don't i
remember that person was very friendly and a nice guy but would definitely oh it was a famous person
no no it wasn't a famous person.
Really?
It wasn't.
It wasn't.
But still, it's never mind.
We'll talk about it.
We'll talk about it after the show.
God damn it.
We know someone who also saw Cedric Sabalis likes to party.
Okay.
It's no secret.
If you live in the Valley of Phoenix, you know Cedric Sabalis likes to party.
Oh, boy, does he.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
So she took the address.
So Mary, Kelly, Sue, the three women, they leave Jets and they go for a few hours to
another Scottsdale club.
They're bouncing around here.
One called Sharks.
This is the era of one word.
Well, I mean, it still is.
It still is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Apart from Axis Radius, everything else down there.
Gilligan's fucking missed.
They're all just stupid nightclub names.
Douchey.
Yeah.
One word bullshit.
Yeah.
So the bar closes. the the sharks closes and as it closes the conversation with the ladies they start talking about the
party yeah are we gonna go to this party what are we doing you know i mean we're out why not
what the fuck so the three of them decide to go to the party uh now mary says it was a joint
decision to go among everybody uh at first they didn't really want to go, but they thought about it for a while, and she said, quote, it would sure be fun to meet the players, stay five minutes, and tell the kids that we got to go to a party where there were basketball players, and they would get a kick out of that, and that would be the end of it.
Oh, this story's about to not be so much fun to tell your kids.
That's what they think is going to happen and that's that's the thing that a normal person
who does that's how okay nothing wrong with thinking like that because that's how a normal
person who's not in a certain mindset would think so no one is blaming her like oh you're a fucking
idiot a normal person would just go that's pretty cool yeah i could stay for a few minutes and then
i could just tell people i was there and it's kind of fun party there's going to be all kinds of
people there all kinds of people she can tell her kids it's a fun thing it's a you
know it's just like a fun story right it's one of those things like how often are we going to run
in charles barkley and get invited to a party it's a weird thing let's just go have fun for a few
minutes there are girls also too that would be like this is great we're going to go over there
all we have to do is fuck them and we get to hang out and that's the other thing there are girls
like that who or the women who want to who are looking for different things out of athletes and that but these
these women thought it would be a good time to go fucking hang out what they thought they're
normal girls with they're kind of just normal yeah i'm gonna say they're going out it's 94
they're going out they're pretty fucking basic bitches at this point and i don't mean to use
that term but there's no other term but basic bitch and that's they're pretty basic they're going out to you know achy breaky dance and fucking you know and they're
go they're just going out to have fun they're not they're not like in the party scene they're not
doing that they have their moms right they have kids they this is probably their they went out
once every two months and this is their night out like way while we're out we might as well so this
is bananas charles berkeley just invited us to a party. Crazy.
What's the worst that could happen?
Yeah.
So she gets to the party at about 2 a.m.
Oof, not good.
The home is south of Shea.
As you know, if you know, it's kind of like the 32nd and Shea area, if you know that area at all.
Or 24th Street goes right around the mountain.
It's bananas.
It's actually twisty
up phoenix native yeah there's some cool streets up there and shit here uh the apparently they had
trouble finding the address because pre-gps it's not easy to navigate through there and especially
it's dark up there because it's by the mountains there's no street lights in the mountains yeah
there's like or it'll be on one side of the street but not the other because there's a mountain on
the other side so this isn't like a cul-de-sac yeah it's like there's no street lights in there at all no it's going to be dark so
she said that she hadn't written the address down so which was not a smart move so they went out
and they're they're partying for a few hours and she's trying to remember an address and find it
at the same time and cinnabar is the street name yeah we're trying try to remember that shit if
you've never heard it once i swear did once. It's Cinnabon.
I swear.
Did he say he lives on Cinnamon?
Is there a Cinnamon Lane around here?
I'm looking for Cinnamon Lane.
So there's our frosting drive.
He doesn't live there anymore, so I don't feel bad saying it.
No, it doesn't matter.
So they drove around the area for a while, and then they saw a limousine pull up to a
house at 2.30 in the morning yeah uh said the
whole entire neighborhood was dark and in this house it was like brightly lit it was like home
alone when they come to rob it and there's like every window's lit there's people dancing it was
like that basically dark dark dark hey fucking party time dark dark dark there's the party
there was the fucking party yeah they might as well have had a balloon on the mailbox the limos and it was lit up it was pretty obvious
yeah they should have stuck a balloon in the middle so the ladies said they walked up to the
house and into the living room and uh according to uh sue who's the one friend her statement to
the police a few people were standing around quote in an uncomfortable situation uh no one seemed to
know each other and before long we were there were explicit porn movies playing on the big screen
television hell yeah uh yeah uh so they said it was kind of if you don't know what kind of party
this is now we're out at a basketball player's house everyone's standing around uncomfortably
it's not like yeah here's my pool table that i said we're all gonna play and someone puts porn on a big screen
on several didn't it just say several yeah i just i feel like dicks are gonna come out soon
i feel like dicks are gonna come out is this like does all of them does he make these what
i hope not is this a is this award show? What are we doing? Is this a preview party?
Are these all brand new?
He's holding up his gut.
That's how you know it's him.
Are these all new releases?
Are these all new?
Wow.
Wow.
You guys got the preview?
What, they gave you the screener copies?
Excellent.
Jesus Christ.
These are all watermarked.
Wow.
Are you press?
This is like a press thing, isn't it?
So, yeah, they go in the living room uncomfortable situation porn on so barkley goes through the doorway comes through and uh apparently he
set his sights on the mary girl and came over and their woman and said hello to her
she said that she thought it was quote so neat to meet these players yeah she's still in that
mindset of like she's acting like she's in like at like a corporate
fundraiser that they stopped by to boost the secret to boost the silent auction right that's
what she's acting like and it's a mixer and she's gonna go over and talk to him and she's like oh
my god barkley was there and then she's gonna go home afterwards but you're not in that situation
no but you have to understand too how the media and not just the media how the team presented
these players too they presented them
as these are the shining beacon back then it wasn't like and especially in 94 and especially
in phoenix right the colangelos the owners of this team always have had a thing where they are like
if someone does anything wrong they're gone they're just we will make an example we'll make
an example unless they're charles barkley and then they can throw as many people through windows as
they want.
But God damn it, if you're Cliff Robinson,
and you have a fucking dime bag of weed on you,
we will not have that in this fucking town.
Jason Kittle beat the shit out of his wife.
We need a point guard is what I'm getting at.
Okay, so let's not get crazy.
But if Richardson knocks up Steve Nash's wife,
then he's getting traded.
That's what I'm saying.
So they really had like a... And Nash's wife. Peace out, asshole. He's getting traded. That's what I'm saying. So they really had like a, they really, and it's everybody.
It's marketing.
So they're not going to present them as criminals, obviously.
They're going to present them as wholesome and shit like that.
So I don't think she just really exactly knew.
And it's social media wasn't out.
It just wasn't the same time it is now.
You could still be naive then.
Whereas now it's a lot harder
to be naive and you could be on the fringe of the sport and not really be a fan that's the other
thing and that's what she doesn't know the culture right she doesn't understand what what happens in
this shit that's exactly right uh she said she thought it was nice charles barkley was complimenting
her this famous guy is complimenting her she said that uh she uh he said something nice that she
couldn't remember but she said she had received uh after bark he said something nice that she couldn't remember but she
said she had received uh after barkley gave her a compliment she'd been to the place she felt like
she did something she said that was her thrill for the evening like oh we did it okay great let's go
home now uh she told her sister that she wanted to leave uh but the sue woman didn't want to go
home yet she wanted to stay for a while longer so uh that's the friend so this merry woman said she
you know stayed too she's like all right fine she said she began to get a little bit uncomfortable
with barkley who was uh uh who was at the top of the stairs in the living room uh stairs above the
living room making an announcement to the crowd um this is this is oh boy i cannot wait to hear this announcement
i feel like this is a rehearsed announcement that he's said a few times i think i know what
he said because i think this was in the article oh yeah maybe uh he says he gets gathers everyone
together and he says quote before this party starts which it seems like it's already gone
it's already started porn on tv charles yeah that's not the party he's talking about though he says before this party starts i want everybody to know that
anything that goes on in this house doesn't leave this house yahtzee that's what he said so then he
pounded his fist into his hand and saying quote he said quote if you can't handle that leave now
is what he said so uh that which that's's pretty weird. Yeah. And kind of like,
what does that mean?
What's going to happen?
Yeah,
what's,
I don't,
ominous at best.
If everyone's having fun,
he's like,
hold on,
serious shit for one second.
Everybody needs to know,
if you're not cool with crazy,
the fuck out.
Yeah,
that's a weird,
I'd be like,
I don't know what's going to happen,
but I don't think I want to find out now.
No.
I was curious before,
but fuck that now.
So,
apparently though, at that point
the three women stay uh now mary says later on she tells police that she quote figured that
barkley was talking about what he was talking about was a big orgy she figured all these people
were here to fuck there's porn on and he's just saying hey you know we're all famous and let's
not go talking about shit and let's all get fucking now and anybody who wants to fuck is you know come up here and fuck and if not
get the fucking get the fucking fuck off then so you know uh sue said that she wanted to see what
was going to happen at that point she's curious i can't wait to watch all this well it's like this
is a you're living a total this is a totally different world so i could see somebody being
curious of like i gotta at least see what the fuck goes on here.
Like, how can we leave?
He just made a huge orgy announcement.
He just said, if you're not cool with it, leave.
I'm cool with it.
I'm not saying I'm going to participate.
Are you not cool?
I want to watch.
I can't wait to see how crazy this turns out.
That's what I mean.
I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing or thought the same thing.
I'd be like, this is going to be interesting as fuck.
I don't have to participate to be cool with it.
That's the thing.
You never think you're going to be, you know, have to participate in anything.
So, yeah, Mary said that her sister and her knew what was going to happen.
But Sue did not have a clue since she said Sue was very naive.
So in the opposite way, Sue was like, I wonder what's going to happen.
So I wonder what that means.
Are they going to gamble now and play darts for money i don't know what are we doing like
she had no idea and they were like no no sue they're all gonna fuck there's gonna be super
jizz everywhere we're about to see charles barkley's dick oh boy so uh mary said that
she didn't ever think of being involved in any of this at all herself she just said she knew it
was gonna happen uh she said that as soon as she started to see anything going down that was when they were
she was like look we'll stay for a while but as soon as it gets starts getting weird as soon as
i see somebody's cock out i'm fucking taking a hike here so uh that was uh one of them now uh
the sister her sister the the mary lady sister told one investigator that odd dan marley and joe klein were also there
but other people didn't mention it but they didn't they weren't asked specifically about it so that's
interesting also if uh useless joe klein was there then again if he was there you probably
wouldn't notice because he'd be on a bench somewhere he wouldn't be over there fouling
somebody he wouldn't actually be in the party he'd be like in the garage waiting to come in like
klein you can only come in for a minute and a half you gotta wait out in the garage he'd be like in the garage waiting to come in like clint you can only come in for a
minute and a half you gotta wait out in the garage the rest of the time so uh yeah uh they chatted
for a while they said the three women they said uh they noted as they put it noted with disdain
the presence of several slutty looking girls in the house so they were all like look at these
whores looking around fuck basketball players and these girls are gross. Can't believe those exist.
They're being women.
Dreammakers.
So, yeah.
So then apparently they tried to go upstairs to use the bathroom.
And she said there was a lot of traffic up and down the stairs.
A man and a woman sitting on the steps would not allow them to get through up there.
They're like blocking it off.
And so they suggested that
they used the downstairs bathroom and they did and afterward they uh they could hear a conversation
about uh oliver miller's marriage so oliver miller's marriage at this point was on the rocks
a little bit and uh well he was on a balcony at the top of the stairs talking to a bunch of other
guys and bitching about his marriage and being like whatever.
And they're just whatever.
So then he sees Mary down there and he motions for Mary to come talk to him.
And he says, I want to talk to you to Mary.
So now the people on the stairs let her pass by and she went up.
And according to the police report here, once upstairs, Pookie, the bucket fetcher,
Pookie came up behind her, she said,
and grabbed her shoulders as she made eye contact
with Barkley, Pookie, and Oliver.
She described it as, quote,
everybody knew something was going to happen,
is what she said.
She said that she was in the balcony there
in a darkened corner, and she wasn't going to yell or scream.
The people up there were all his friends and all that, so she didn't know what to do.
So she kept mouthing to her sister, kind of, hey, get me out of here.
Like, hey.
We got to go.
Yeah, help me get me the fuck out of here.
Like, yeah, they're talking to me, and I don't like the way this is going, so let's go.
Apparently, her sister didn't understand what she was trying to do.
So Barkley, she says, approached her and grabbed her right arm, but not hard.
She said, just kind of like, you know, grab somebody.
He never do that, by the way, hard or not.
Ask someone to come, and if they want to follow, they can follow.
Unless you're, like, with them, and then they want to be grabbed.
Sometimes they like that shit, yeah. Then you fucking grab them then you fucking great yeah so twisted around her back for fuck's sake
well only only upon request please only upon request that's not someone isolate that that'll
be great mr cross her back grab him by the pussy that's worse i think what you said was worse
to us sit around her back for fuck's sake fucking really cranking on there
give her a forearm shiver
right to the nose you know what i'm saying then don't let go no no no like a tiger by the tail
so uh he said that uh uh he began pulling her as he pulled her on the arm he called her name
and and pulled her into the bedroom saying you need to be in here
you need to be in here and then shut the door behind her oh jesus she said that barkley was
standing at the bedroom door when he grabbed her uh she said that barkley never entered the room
and she was uncertain where oliver miller came from but uh she turned around and he was right
in front of her so mary said she uh started to get scared
at this point because she didn't know what was happening and like anybody would these are giant
people if you're a small person these giant people have you just five three and these are dudes that
are way over six feet tall yeah and have you feeling of you being trapped it's a little bit
weird uh so she described the bedroom as uh big with white thick shutters and like a satiny green bedspread.
And she said there was a lot of pillows around.
Looked like somebody decorated it, basically.
She said there was a light on in the bathroom, but that sort of thing.
She could remember the room.
Mary said that Oliver Miller asked her, quote, are you scared?
And she said that she was a little bit intimidated.
She said, I'm a little bit intimidated uh she said i'm a little bit
intimidated but she said actually she was scared to death but didn't want to yeah say that say that
in front of the the fucking yeah the dude who yeah she was afraid of yeah you don't tell the
fucking the the robber that you're scared to death yeah that's cool no take what you need you don't
tell the boogeyman so she said oliver at that point said something to the effect of, quote, what's wrong? You don't like black guys.
So he said that.
And she said that she didn't answer.
Which means, no, she doesn't like black guys, probably.
Maybe.
I don't know.
It's hard to say that to somebody that is standing right there.
How much?
Because the automatic response would be, of course not.
That's not it.
So how much must she really not like black guys? to not say that say shit about it you know in that situation so or maybe
she doesn't know maybe your answer should be i don't know i've never done but i got a husband
and kids i gotta run don't care it's she it's uh she's divorced she does not she's not married at
all she's just a single mom uh so even still even still yeah
oliver asked again at this point or you don't like big black guys i think you're a giant fucking fat
fuck is more irrelevant than your color the color doesn't matter at all you're giant and fat and
and she's five three and you've been dancing for hours and you probably stink right that's my point
so uh she said that uh oliver repeatedly asked her the same two
questions over and over again you know like black guys what's matter you know like big black guys
what the fuck oliver then asked her if she had any tan lines which is a very that's personal
suggestive question well that's no business she yeah i don't think so uh she told him that she
had a sunburn and oliver requested to see her tan lines and told her to unzip her pants and take them off.
Mary said that she's not going to unzip her pants, but Oliver said he would.
Oh, don't worry.
I'll take care of that for you.
Oh, you don't have to.
She said that she was wearing 501 button-down jeans there, Levi's.
And she said when he grabbed them they popped open so you know
how those go that's how they're meant to do you let me pop open uh so she said he took her pants
down and pulled her onto the bed once on the bed she says that he made her uh perform oral sex on
him and pushed her head down and all that type of shit uh Jesus Christ I hate going into it's so
hard it's so hard to hear i'll read the quote
from the article because the way it's the ray the way it's written is even it's just it's quote she
was told by oliver to suck his balls which she did i i don't know i i'm sorry that's terrible
but the way it's written i can't believe it. It's written in like a comically blunt format about something that is not comedic at all.
No, it's like he's doing a porn review.
Yes.
She was asked to lick his balls, so she did.
Which she complied.
Right.
It's super weird.
It's terrible.
She said that he...
You don't even have to say that part.
She was asked to perform fellatio.
That's enough.
That's enough.
We get it.
Oral sex is fine.
We get it.
We get it.
We don't have to...
We can use our imagination. I mean, I guess that's a detail it's a little more specific it's very
specific but i have i'm uncomfortable sharing the show with you so uh she said that he kept
her head down there and asked if she liked it and she said she didn't know how long this was going on
but it felt like forever uh yeah i imagine that his size it would take forever to lick his balls
hold on wait let me still have to i need some backup right so afterwards uh he apparently
got on top of her and uh you know had intercourse with her here. Mary here said she never, uh, he never took his shorts off,
but just pulled them open.
Uh,
she was wearing a top and panties.
And,
uh,
like we said,
she had pulled her,
her pants down,
uh,
but not at her panties down far enough just to,
Oh,
Jesus.
It's not even like,
it's not even romantic.
He's not even trying to like get consent.
He it's so,
Hey,
it's trying to,
Oh,
it's fucking gross. Oh, it's like, he's, it's like you're in he it's so he's trying to oh it's fucking gross oh
it's like he's it's like you're in a park and they think they're gonna get caught
that's exactly what it is like i've seen like this is like a homeless guy and prostitute in an alley
that's or teenager sex that's well i had a dog and i lived in a shitty area and i walked
bernie and came across a prostitute and a homeless guy which which I'm like, you've fallen low in your prostitute game
if you're fucking a homeless guy.
We're fucking in an alley like that.
That's exactly how it was.
Oh, God, Jesus.
It's just so degradating.
Degradating.
Degradating.
Gating?
Degradating?
Degradation.
Degrading.
Degradation is what you're going for there.
That's like just robbing her of dignity. It's treating her like just fucking disgusting so uh uh so she said
her pants wouldn't go below the knees since she still had her what cowboy boots on of course yes
so saved by billy ray cyrus a little bit well not completely but whatever so uh she said that uh
oliver was on top of her for approximately one minute and
not wearing a condom he never touched any other part of her and she said that he came inside of
her oh my god jesus christ uh come on man a minute yeah jesus bro come on dude what the hell's going
on here but that's how excited that's how much he likes this. He's into this shit.
Yeah.
That he can finish that fast.
He's into this shit.
That's all I just wanted. Fuck, that's horrible, man.
Fucking gross, man.
So neither of her friends, her sister or her friends, saw her go into the bedroom.
But after she'd been gone a few minutes, they started to worry about her.
And they wanted to check on her.
And they started trying to go up the stairs to see if she was up there.
on her and they started trying to go up the stairs to see if she was up there uh at that point uh sue and kelly both gave police district uh police descriptions to the police and they said that
kelly went upstairs looking for mary but found all the doors closed charles barkley was upstairs
with four women four women yeah a man named pookie told kelly she would have to go back downstairs
which she did he's too busy yeah and yeah and And Pookie's like the fucking bouncer here.
A short time later, Kelly and Sue attempted to go upstairs again.
But again, they were not permitted to go upstairs, which is crazy.
This is like a fucking this is nuts.
Mary says it was clear to her that he wasn't felt like he wasn't done with her because she tells the police that Oliver Miller at that point
asked her for her phone number while they were in the bedroom
after he got dressed again, and she said that she didn't know it.
Yeah, I don't know shit at this moment.
He said that he didn't believe her, and then she said,
well, I don't call my own house.
She tried, which is smart. And said that miller became upset at this point and told her uh she
told him that if uh if she went to a phone and tried dialing the number maybe that'll help you
fucking remember that's what she told him or that's what he told her go to a phone and try
to dial you'll remember it and uh you know it'll come back to you so at that point he took her to a phone in the bedroom and made her dial the number and uh she dialed the correct number
because her answering machine came on after four rings when she hung up uh miller asked if she
remembered the number and she said that she did and gave him the number uh which then he dialed
again to make sure she wasn't lying and uh he listened for a minute and then hung up the phone and just walked out without saying anything so like he just did that shit this is all alleged
we don't know but allegedly did it seems very detailed from three different people and i'm
having a hard time not believing them so it's one of those things but we don't know also that is the
worst like courtship ever yeah that is violent and then just was like you fucking get your phone
number yeah give me now give me that shit all right then and then just was like you fucking get your phone number yeah give me
now give me that shit all right then and then just left like don't be a menace to south central
he's like got a gun to the girl's hands like give me your number bitch yeah like that is yeah that
is really awful okay yeah this is real this is real and worse though because that was just he
didn't rape her first right don't be a menace to South Central. That would have made him. That would have been crazy.
Right.
That would be the way he couldn't put that.
No, that's not believable.
Too much.
Yeah.
Now, Sue said that there were sitting on the steps.
There were three black men and a white female with long hair, dark lipstick and wearing black.
They were the ones sitting on the steps.
wearing black uh they were the ones sitting on the steps sue expressed concern about mary to the to the female who was sitting there and asked if asked if she wanted to have her talk to mary uh
and so that's what she said she goes will you talk to her and so this female uh agreed uh and
she went upstairs a short time later the female who was on the stairs comes back with mary in
front of her and as mary approached
approached them sue said that mary was quote white as a ghost and mary just told them let's get out
of here as they go to the car mary stated told them uh quote it was so horrible i don't want to
talk about it and she refused to discuss what happened with oliver miller on the ride home
but once she got home she told them what happened and said that she was afraid and didn't want to call the police uh sue was the one who called dial 9-1-1 against
mary's wishes she said please don't call the police she told police that she did not resist
her rape because she'd made uh she said she told herself that if she ever got raped she was going
to let the person do what they wanted for fear of her life i'm not a woman and i don't that scares me to know that women
have to walk around with a plan of if i ever get raped that's crazy because we don't do that well
well now as a 38 year old man now no who carries a 40 caliber around you're not going out there
going you know in case somebody tries to rate me this this is what I'm going to do. That never crosses my mind.
Ever crosses my fucking mind.
And that's, I guess, a form of, I don't know,
I don't want to say privilege,
but it's one of those things where it's like-
It's certainly a privilege.
It's that Dave Chappelle joke
where Dave Chappelle talks about-
I guess that's how it feels
for a woman to carry a pussy around.
That's what I mean,
where he talks about walking around New York City
in the early 90s with 25 grand in cash on him and feeling like, oh my God, everybody knows and they're going
to rob it and hold this thing.
And he goes, that's what a woman feels like every day walking around.
I go, holy fuck, yeah.
That's exactly what it is.
So the fact that she had a plan, and that doesn't seem like an abnormal thing, makes
me very depressed.
And you know, this is back in 93 yeah this is no different
than now 2019 this is not change that's fucking crazy fucking crazy it is 26 years later yeah
absolutely horrible it's nuts so uh she said that it was fear uh fear dictated everything she did
and uh she said that afterward she was a complete basket case she
was intimidated and afraid she said she did the best she could under the circumstances she said
all she could think about was getting through it and surviving and that's all she was thinking
about uh she said that uh uh there was an she said it was just she an element of disbelief is
the way it was put in the article is she didn't understand. She was like, is this real?
Am I being some famous Charles Barkley?
What is happening?
The popular belief and opinion in this time and the things that I overheard listening to people recounting this, talking about it in public.
The most common thing I heard was she went to a basketball player's house.
What did she expect?
Because I was 12, 13 years old.
And I'm just like, what?
What are they talking about?
Now, this and it's funny because we are not funny, but you heard the same thing with like Mike Tyson in that one.
But that was a that wasn't.
Do you want to go to a party?
Right.
That was a one on one.
Would you like to come to my hotel room with me alone?
And I'm not saying I know the details of that right now.
We're not going to get into that so that's a different thing where people would be like i think she knew that was going to happen well if she's naive maybe not but this do
you want to go to a party and you see a limo pulling up there's a bunch of people there you
don't think oh they're going to be holding people down raping them for sure i'm going to get raped
in here you think oh people are going to be drinking, playing around, and when you want to leave, you leave.
It's an easy thing.
Like, who thinks that?
So, yeah, she said that, quote, it comes down to the fact that I just felt safe at the party, which she did.
She said it was foolish, but, I mean, these people are heroes.
I've seen them on TV and the papers.
They're portrayed as people to look up to.
I guess the bottom line is that I just couldn't imagine that they would act the way they did.
Even while it was happening, I just couldn't imagine that they would act the way they did even while it was happening i just couldn't believe it so yeah she said that uh also it's a
nice neighborhood it is a very comforting neighborhood it's old money it's people that
have been there a long time it's quiet up there that's a very quiet area because there's a mountain
on one side right behind this fucking house that goes for miles it's mountain preserve all the way
over to cave creek so quiet up there nothing going on it's really nice uh so
i mean they're talking about you know should you believe this woman and all that and it's like well
she doesn't want to press charges but she also doesn't want to sue anybody she doesn't want any
fucking money out of this she doesn't even want her name to be released she wants no part of this
shit someone else called the police for her she gave her statements which were exactly the same
as her friend's statements of the whole thing it just seems odd that three women would go out make this
story up get home conspire together to make it up and okay we all have our story straight now call
the cops then when they get there you go i don't want to press charges and i don't want any money
well what's the fucking point then and don't print my name well what are we doing that's what i mean
so i i just don't see there's no benefit for her in this none nothing all there is is negative for her in this whole situation so for
her to do this is yeah uh she you know and people said oh maybe she just you know she got carried
away and it was trying to you know act like she felt bad the next morning because she did some
shit she didn't want to do and blah blah it's like that's not called 9-1-1 that's not how that works man it's not how that works dude yeah i don't know
what people are thinking like it's fucking crazy so uh yeah everybody agrees on everything everybody
agrees on the uh the uh you know the atmosphere at the house they all multiple witnesses everybody
agrees to the warning from barkley at the top of the steps and all that and uh like i said you'd
have to think if it says in the article too you'd have to imagine they got home at three o'clock in
the morning and just conspired for two hours to get all their stories perfectly straight and then
said okay now you call the police and i'll act like i'm hurt over here and we'll all do that's
that's fucking hard to believe man but it's certainly what those players are going to tell
their wives yeah that's true and the, too, is that does happen also.
The Duke fucking lacrosse thing happened.
That girl made all that shit up.
She made that shit up.
I mean, there was a Michael Irvin incident, too, where there's been multiple, but there was one where the girl ended up admitting she made everything up.
It was nothing even happened.
So that happens, too.
But this seems...
That doesn't seem plausible here.
know so that happens too but this seems that doesn't seem plausible here yeah so then the guy the the the darren hostetler the guy who wrote this said then they they then added a special
twist mary would feign reluctance to come forward and would at first refuse to speak with police or
submit to a physical examination before finally giving in what fucking benefit would that have
it's that's normal is what that is that's regular behavior that makes me think it's true.
So the police did obtain samples and everything, which they still had the samples.
The police had the samples.
I don't know if they still do or not.
But she says, though, to the due time, she says she doesn't care if anybody believes her or not.
She says, quote, it doesn't matter what people think.
I just wanted to go away i'm a single mother i have a family and i just
want to go to counseling and hope that god deals with him she doesn't even want any part of it uh
she said that uh you know anything she said that you know her she won't press charges she doesn't
want anything to do with the they asked her repeatedly if she would press charges and she
said no and the police reported said quote mary told me again she did not want to prosecute and she would not
testify she said all she wanted to do was be with her kids pray to god she did not wind up with aids
and put everything behind her she said she also did not want me to contact any of the parties
involved and she only wanted to go home so they said case closed at that point nothing they can
do if she won't uh if she won't come forward so uh she says she knows it would be difficult if not impossible to prove this
um you know and just not have it be like wasn't everybody drinking and and you know he said she
said and then she gets her fucking name exactly right through the month in public in public
with it yeah i could see her now yeah there's stars uh she says quote though these people are
so powerful not only in terms of the sun organization, which has a lot of pull in the Valley, but individually.
They are big people physically.
And if this gets out, if too much attention is paid to this, they could hurt me again.
And anyway, I'm not a well person.
I don't think I could hold up under the pressure of a trial.
And she says that, you know, it was just she never thought that anything that goes on in this house doesn't leave this house meant that was consent to be raped.
Yeah.
That meant like, hey, if you see somebody doing a line of coke, you don't fucking go call the newspaper.
That's what I would have taken that as.
Yeah.
Hey, fucking, you know, don't be.
There might be some illegal activity around some famous people.
Be cool is what I would take that as the one thing that's almost worse
than murder yeah that's pretty fucking close so she says quote i just couldn't go uh go to trial
against people that uh that that think like that and come out a loser i mean you have to understand
i already feel like i'm a loser so this is fucking horrible only of dignity you poor thing terrible
god fucking terrible so that happens uh that happens in may
and it comes out right after that so tough summer for oliver with this whole thing looming and uh
at this point the colangelos are not thrilled with no with him at all now because this just
no stories none of that shit flies here for a non he's depression player yeah he's say a sadness eating so august 1994 something even weirder
happens what is that okay uh this is crazy uh they found the body of emmett allen in his office
on august 9th 1994 oliver miller's office no no no in emmett allen's office oliver miller's uncle
is emmett allen okay okay it's his father's brother so uh three days later uh her his father
oliver miller senior yeah goes to a fort worth local television station to talk to a reporter
and confesses that he is the one who shot emmet allen three times what the fuck is going on to a
newspaper reporter because mr allen was stealing his property is what he said.
Wow.
He said, he later says that in order to steal the property,
the Emmett Allen was conspiring with members of the federal government,
members of the Tarrant County government,
attorneys, bankers, insurance companies, utility companies,
and even members of his own family,
of Oliver Miller Sr.'s own family, to steal from him.
Everybody from the president to his mom is involved.
And they all want to steal from him.
That's the problem.
He's out of his fucking mind.
He's lost his shit.
Yeah, he testifies and says to them that he armed himself with a Colt.45 in his belt,
walked into Mr. Allen's office for a confrontation,
and Mr. Allen became hostile,
and a senior says that Mr. Allen was standing,
but because he'd moved toward a desk
where Oliver Sr. thought a gun might have been kept,
he said that at that point he pushed Emmett Allen down,
drew his pistol, and shot him.
My God.
So he throws him to the ground and shoots him in his own office.
He tells the police that he acted in self-defense,
even though he said he knew it was wrong to shoot someone
with a.45 caliber pistol and that that could hurt a person.
He knew that that could kill somebody, but he did it anyway.
He is pleading insanity
to this whole thing.
The conspiracy,
the vast conspiracy
to steal his land
is fucking bonkers.
So they're, wow.
A bunch,
he's examined a lot.
There's evidence
of delusional behavior.
This is the type of behavior that you
actually get off on shit for because you literally think that i think you literally think it's a
different situation than it really is you think your mom and the president are trying to conspire
against you and you think that people have guns when they don't and you think things like that
it's legit crazy yeah this is crazy cuckoo fucking bonker time this is rubbing your lips and yeah
dressed like napoleon walking around in circles yeah this is crazy time so uh this isn't like i have a little problem i need to talk to
somebody straight jackets bouncing off rubber walls this is yeah so anyway he uh he uh they
say that he was suffering from uh delusional disorder which was three different experts
opinion at trial which sounds right to me uh the the it says in the law here an affirmative
defense to prosecution is available to a person who commits a criminal offense without knowing
that the conduct is wrong because of severe severe mental disease or defect that's the texas law in
this whole thing uh he said he knew it was wrong to shoot someone with a 45 and knew that that
could kill somebody uh but he uh these doctors. Mark Cunningham and Dr. Sven Helge,
Jesus, Sven Helge,
they both said that because of the disease,
that Oliver Sr. did not understand that killing Mr. Allen was wrong.
The court-appointed expert here said that even with the mental illness, which she agrees that he had a mental
illness, he still knew it was wrong.
So he also claims self-defense in here also, which is very strange.
Yeah, he claims self-defense saying that he thought the guy was going for a gun, whereas
in Texas, if somebody scratches their ass, you're allowed to shoot them.
He could have been going for a gun.
Could have been one up there.
And he was on my property.
Listen, listen, they make that holster.
Anything on my property, I'm allowed to shoot.
Right.
I think that's the law in Texas.
By the way, we'll be in Dallas and Houston.
We won't be on anyone's property.
We promise.
So, yeah, he he said that he didn't.
He testifies even in court that he did not see a
gun in emmet allen's possession and there's no evidence that any weapon was there in the office
other than the pistol that he himself brought to shoot mr allen uh on direct examination he told
the jury that he confronted uh he confronted mr allen after the he loaded himself with the gun
he said he held it in the back of his belt, like Eddie Murphy in Beverly Hills Cop.
He said, quote, As I was trying to leave out, well, he made a break to his desk, and I thought he was trying to get a gun.
I pushed him down in his seat.
He sort of slid back to the window, and he was coming up.
That's when I come out with the gun and shoot him.
That's what he says.
So he said that he never saw him with a gun and shoot him that's what he says so uh he said that he never saw uh he never
saw him uh with a gun of his own uh his daughter oliver senior's daughter who is oliver sister
oliver miller's sister she's in college at this point she testified that uh oliver senior told
her he shot mr allen because mr allen laughed at him oh boy so he is in yeah voila crazy land at this
point over for him yeah so uh the instruction that uh that they asked a judge to give would be that
uh basically uh they asked to give it an instruction to the jury and it was it would have been an
improper comment that they couldn't make so uh uh he delusionally believed in what they're telling
the jury that he was in apparent danger of death or serious bodily injury.
He thought he had some deadly weapon available, blah, blah, blah.
So he ends up being indicted, and then the jury ends up saying,
we don't think you're that crazy, and it's not self-defense.
Guilty of murder, which is crazy.
And you, sir, this is dad, but we'll still give it to him because they have the same name he named his kid junior and caused this
whole thing so you sir may fuck off 30 years in prison my word yikes that's a tough one so uh yeah
now a couple months later late august 1994 the police are called to oliver jr's house yeah to our oliver
here they're called to his house for the charge that he grabbed his wife christina around the
neck and choked her yeah that sounds right that's what it was here and this they get divorced shortly
after this it was during a domestic quarrel as they called it here uh she apparently accused him
of quote acting just like your father oh boy
just murdered his uncle that's a bad thing no especially if your dad well because it's because
of the kid and they're saying you're going out just like your dad left around she's saying
you're acting just like your dad which will make anybody fly off the handle but the problem is you
can't choke people no that's not okay no you get to tell her get out bitch you
get to tell her anything you want you don't get to hit anything so uh yeah so he uh ends up it
says that she he choked her and uh he says that uh you know no charges end up being filed though
because there was no marks it was didn't apparently choke her hard enough i feel like nowadays he's
there would have been to find some he probably would have he probably would have went to jail what year is this 94 yeah different different
laws domestically uh he says quote i just don't understand how they can say i'm a bad character
that's what he tells the press after this whole thing you remember cc's house bro come on then
he says whoa he says this to the police because they're asking him where you're going to be coming
back to phoenix to play again next year? Blah, blah, blah.
He says, quote, if Jesus himself walked into Phoenix again, the people would probably crucify
him or throw him in a dungeon.
Whoa.
He thinks he's the same as Jesus.
He just compared himself to Jesus because someone said he raped them and then choked
his wife and then his choked his wife.
And then his dad shot his uncle.
These are all things that are in the press.
Samesies.
Yeah.
He's got a touch of the I.B. Abuchi in him with his fucking family.
So the sons, they end up, he's a restricted free agent, which usually means your team will scoop you right up.
They go, you know what?
We're going to let you go.
You can go ahead and be a free agent.
We don't need you.
You're good. Because of his weight ballooning, general issues, you know what? We're going to let you go. You can go ahead and be a free agent. We don't need you. You're good.
Because of his weight ballooning, general issues, rape accusations, domestic violence,
these things follow you.
So September 6, 1994, he signed with the Pistons.
And this is a funny fucking story.
Yeah, he signs with the Pistons.
It's often told, basically, he apparently used to weigh 290 on the sun's scale
but uh apparently when he returned from a road trip they got a new scale and he got on the scale
and it said three uh 323 yeah and uh so they the sun's management suspected that he must have been
cheating the old scale yeah and he's got to dial it back. He said the story I heard was he'd been standing on his toes.
It's still the same weight.
You could be holding on to something.
It depends on where the sensor is.
If you're leaning forward, he must know exactly where it is.
He must do a lot of scale work.
He's good at this.
Jesus Christ.
He said that it was bullshit and it was slander
he says isn't this ridiculous how am i gonna trick a scale so he gets to detroit and they send him to
food rehab is what they called it really uh yeah go learn how to not be so fat weight watchers
pretty much this was like an impact like you this is hardcore this isn't you know pick lose eight
ten pounds somebody yelling at him when he has another nibble?
This is lose a fourth grader worth of weight off of your body, please.
And he loses 40 pounds.
Wow.
Not bad.
Coach says they're not going to break his balls about weight, though.
They said, look, we're not going to get it.
That's got to wear on you mentally, having to weigh in every day.
And he's one of those guys where it's like sometimes pitchers are good fat in baseball.
He's a good fat player.
It just is.
And he says, quote, I've always been athletic for my size.
Me and my cousins would go to the country to my grandmothers, my grandmas in Teague,
Texas, and we'd have our own Olympics.
Hundred yard dash, hurdle old tires.
My cousins were smaller than me, but I'd catch them.
And then he goes on to say that he hopes he plays in the next Olympics.
He wants to be on the third dream team.
He thinks that's an Olympic body, huh? That's an Olympic body. goes on to say that he hopes he plays in the next Olympics. He wants to be on the third Dream Team.
He thinks that's an Olympic body, huh? That's an Olympic body.
He said, they've already used up Alonzo Mourning, Dave Robinson,
all the really great centers.
They should be getting around to me for Dream Team 3.
Or 8 or 9.
All the really great ones?
No, there's like 15, 20 of them.
And then there's me, too, because I'm here.
Once they get to the bench?
Mark West says it a different way.
They asked Mark West about that and his potential,
and Mark West says, quote,
as Charles Barkley used to say,
O could be an all-star if he learned two words, I'm full.
That's it right there.
94-95, he plays 64 games in detroit uh averages 8.5
points a game makes 1 million 540 000 wow that's something yeah but june 24th 1995 he's left
unprotected in the expansion draft right for the two expansion teams there toronto toronto yeah
toronto bj armstrong number one in the expansion draft, by the way.
Really?
Bulls point guard.
Yeah.
It's not a lot.
It's whoever you leave unprotected.
Got it.
So it's a bunch of B.J.
Armstrong, Greg Anthony, Tony Massenburg, Antonio Harvey, Keith Jennings, Reggie Slater.
These aren't lighting the world on fire here.
Ed Pickeney's about the Gerald Wilkins, Benoit Benjamin.
And finally, 27, the last pick is oliver
miller really picked up by the raptors from the pistons so uh yeah he goes there uh december 5th
1995 he has a 20 he has a a couple of good games actually he has 20 points and 11 boards and six
blocks versus the 76ers he's got 29 point game versus the heat
and uh in in one game he is hacked pretty hard by sean kemp and they don't give him a call
because campus a star yeah so there's no foul so he flips the fuck out yeah lost his mind yeah
is ejected by the referee and that's when he started threatening referees and went over and
tried to throw a chair onto the court like bob Knight, but was fucking tackled by all his teammates and coaches.
They were like, what the fuck are you doing?
You can't do that.
You're not good enough for this behavior.
Stop.
You're not Charles Barkley.
So, yeah, he ended up, nothing came of that.
He does average 12.9 points a game that year in 33.1 minutes, so that's a real center.
7.4 rebounds, 2.9 assists. Not the best, but it's coming together. $2,372,000.1 minutes. So that's a real center. 7.4 rebounds, 2.9 assists.
Not the best, but it's coming together.
$2,372,000.
In Toronto.
Not too shabby.
That's a lot of beaver bucks.
That's not bad.
July 23, 1996, he's released by the Raptors.
They've had enough here.
So October 17th.
Canadians are nice.
We don't throw chairs.
It's just, you're a little nuts.
Plus, he's getting big at this point, too.
When he was on the Raptors, it's silly.
He's wearing that cartoony uniform.
Yeah, that was a really big dinosaur on his chest.
He looks silly looking, man.
So he signs with the Mavericks in October 96.
Really?
Yep, signs there.
A friend of his who grew up with him said, quote,
Everywhere he's gone, there's been this cloud over him.
This could be his last stop. That's what I told i told him this is home you can't mess up home don't fuck up
oliver is what they say he literally sat him down and go don't fuck this up you're in you're in your
fucking house for christ's sake so are you raised man oh my god fucking ridiculous so uh 1996 1997 with dallas he plays in 42 games doesn't start any 19.9 minutes a game
and february 7th still in the season he is waived by the mavericks wow so no thank you there february
13th a week later he signed signs a contract for the rest of the season with the toronto rafters
they took him back yeah cheaper now. So that's what it is.
He plays 19 games with Toronto.
He makes $247,500 this year.
That's great for 19 games?
We'll take it.
Not too shabby.
Well, he played in the beginning of the year, too.
42 games.
It's just a mess.
That's not great.
No.
1997 is his dad's appeal.
Yeah.
His dad's appeal.
And the appeal presents two points.
his dad's appeal and uh the appeal presents two points that the trial court erred by denying his request uh his requested charge on insane delusion to the jury and the trial court erred
by denying his right to confront a state's witness by releasing the witness uh over an objection
during the punishment phase of the trial uh the uh after everything it has found no error and it's
affirmed the judgment but there's a dissenting opinion
on this and they go into some interesting
shit here into
this and this judge's dissenting
opinion says that
apparently Miller Sr. had seen
Emmett Allen with a gun
the day before the shooting
when Allen traveled around
Miller they said he usually had a gun
so he had great reason to believe that he would have an accessible gun.
This Emmett Allen Miller knew Allen had a gun, had seen Allen's gun, a revolver four or five times before that day.
Plus, he had seen it the day before the shooting.
Sometimes Allen kept it in his file cabinet, sometimes in his desk drawer.
They didn't bring that up.
They said when questioned about taking the gun to his office, Miller testified, well, I thought about it a while, you know, because I remember a while back, Mr.
Allen went to a fellow's office and jumped on him and whipped him and threatened to go home and get a gun.
I think it was back in 91.
He went to this fellow's office and, you know, jumped on him for some reason.
And I think he had also threatened to get a gun he also testified to conversations he had with alan before that where alan had told him that he quote whooped someone's ass and another time uh
he said that he threatened to whip people's asses and that he'd heard him threaten to go get his gun
and kill people on multiple occasions so he's kind of a bad dude yeah this alan's a bad dude
now uh miller says that uh he went to Alan's office because he was stealing his stuff
and he thought
he should take his gun since Alan had
stole his stuff and now he has a gun
and they asked about his intentions. He said,
well, you know, just in case I had one. So
you know protection, which that's
what they're for there. So
he said he
Miller said that he asked Alan if he had
those deeds that he saying he stole.
Alan said he didn't.
And all of a sudden, Alan started getting hostile and talking loud and cursing.
Now, Mr. Miller here said that when he was trying to leave, like we said, he made a break and he ended up shooting him.
He said that he realized killing someone was wrong.
He said, quote, Well, I was protecting myself.
I was sort of protecting
myself i'm not claiming well i'm claiming i thought he was going for a pistol that's basically
the way it worked he said he just snapped the pressure just come you know when he make a break
for the desk drawer and you know the pressure just overwhelmed is what he told the psychiatrist as
well uh the uh even the court appointed uh uh psychiatrists thought that he had was suffering
from a delusional thought disorder on the day of the crimes and uh that's what caused the death of
uh emmet allen uh basically this judge says even if he he's delusional even if the guy doesn't have a gun that's still gonna shoot
him they said that makes no difference if this man thought he had a gun that's all that they
have to prove is that he's delusional enough to think he's under attack to be self-defending
that's all they were looking to prove in this judge who's the dissenting opinion says they did
that they thought he did prove that that uh he's crazy he proved that he's a fucking nut
he said quote i think miller felt himself to be in very much danger i don't think that miller
knew his conduct was wrong at the time of the offense because he thought he was
acting in self-defense fair enough so november 30th 1997 oliver miller jr signs with the raptors
again god jesus how many times did he play for them? Back and forth. 97.
Ridiculous.
All these silly,
he's getting bigger and bigger.
They're like,
what size uniform this time, Ollie?
Shit, that dinosaur ain't gonna hold on.
They're gonna staple two together.
Poof.
So 64 games there,
6.3 points per game,
so nothing terrific.
Early 1999,
he does not play for an NBAba team there uh after the strike and everything he plays for iraclio oa bc which is a greek team he goes to play in greece it's in
crete greece and he goes to play there february 1st 1999 after strike, he signs as a free agent with the Sacramento Kings.
Plays in four games, 2.5 points a game for Sacramento there, and makes $600,000.
That's a great deal.
That's terrific.
Holy shit.
I'll do that all day.
Absolutely.
August 1st, 1999, released by the Kings.
August 1st, 1999, signed by the Suns.
We have to have him.
We have to have him. We have to have him.
We got to keep him around.
We have no centers, literally.
For the Suns, he plays in 51 games, 21 minutes a game, 6.3 points a game, 1.6 blocks, 5.1 rebounds, 510,000 bucks.
This is the time in his life when he was living with my ex-girlfriend's sister.
Oh, Jesus.
In a shit little apartment that Mike tyson owned in scottsdale
and uh oliver miller oliver miller sat down to take a shit and broke the toilet seat he went out
and bought a new toilet seat and then just set it on top of the broken one because he doesn't know
how to fix it he has no fucking clue how to live life he was just like well that one's broken here
we go this ought to do and he just set it there just sat on top, that one's broken. Here we go. This ought to do. And he just set it there. Just sat on top of that, sliding around and shit, falling off.
Jesus Christ.
I'm fucking real.
I just hold on to the towel rack while I do it.
It's fine.
So 2000, 2001, he goes and plays a few games for the Harlem Globetrotters, which is fucking
insane.
Look how fat he is.
Hey, he can spin the ball.
This guy can wrap it around he can
do a trick make it go up his arm and down and he's fat the trickery of the globetrotters metal
park's gonna use a lot of confetti to cover him out of the bucket all around him a couple of laps
so then he goes and plays for in poland for some shit i am not even going to... It doesn't matter. There is Z's, N's, C's, and Z's all together
with no vowels.
I'm not even going to get in there.
Goes to Poland, plays for a good Polish team,
comes back, plays a little more for the Globetrotters.
Yeah, he is released from the Globetrotters
for showing, quote,
no appreciation for what it takes mentally and physically to be a Harlem Globetrotter.
Or any other basketball team.
In other words, you're a fat fuck.
We don't want you.
So 2001.
He's fat shamed his whole life by basketball teams.
2001, 2002, he signs with Italy, a team in Italy, but he doesn't play there.
He ends up playing for the CBA, the Continental, not Canadian, Basketball Association.
Plays for the Gary Steelheads
and then he goes to the ABA here,
the Southern California Surf,
who we've had guys play there,
and the USBL also,
the Dodge City Legend.
Oh, no.
All these little shit leagues.
Oh, that's sad.
In 2002, he's traded.
He returns to the Steelheads
of the CBA and then is traded to the
dakota wizards in february of 2003 in 2003 he leads the cba in blocks yeah because he's just
has long arms that was without moving his feet so that's pretty impressive uh so 2003 he goes
and plays for a chinese team the fujian zwing zing i don't know what the fuck that is
some damn chinese team owned by a zipper science and technology company they can't say that
i think they make zippers i get it but you did nothing no asians don't know yeah i think they're
allowed to make zippers i don't i'm not saying that part of it. They make things that fasten jeans. You just can't wear them as hats, that's all.
So, he then goes... Sorry.
He then goes and plays
for a team in Puerto Rico
for a while.
Yeah.
And then he's finally,
December 13, 2003,
signs with the Timberwolves.
What?
What the fuck
did an NBA team want him?
What are they doing?
He led the CBA in blocks.
He plays 48 games
for the Timberwolves.
10.5 minutes a game. Only 2.5
points a game. Yeah.
2.7 rebounds. Of course. No, he's not doing anything.
He made 30 bucks. He made $686,838.
My God!
For those 48 games. Wow!
Not too shabby. And that's finally,
that's the end of his career.
493 games.
7.4 points a game. 5.9 rebounds, 2.2 assists, 1.5 blocks, $7,145,338.
And on the basketball reference, it has your Hall of Fame probability, 0.0%.
Yeah.
He then returns to the Dakota wizards in October of 2004.
Then he plays with the Texas tycoons after that of the ABA.
Then he goes to play for the Arkansas rim rockers.
Oh yeah.
You know them.
I mean, that was Arkansas rim rockers.
Then he plays the next season for the Arkansas river cats with Z.
Yeah.
Cause that's cool.
The rim rockers as an S that's an S though. The rim rockers, but the river cats, that's Z. Yeah. Because that's cool. The Rimrockers has an S? That's an S, though, the Rimrockers.
But the River Cats, that's fucking cool.
Yeah.
2010, he, Jesus Christ, he signed to the Lawton Fort Still Cavalry of the Premier Basketball League.
Wow.
He signed on March 15th, and he's finally released in December.
Lawton, where is that?
I have no clue.
Lawton Fort Still?
Lawton Fort Still?
I'm assuming Texas maybe?
L-O-U? L-A-W-T-O-N.
I assume it's Arkansas,
Texas. Yeah, one of those
home places. Why else would you play there?
Oklahoma Bay. There you go.
My God. April 2011
he's at a family barbecue with his girlfriend, her family, in Edgewater, Maryland.
Hell yeah.
And apparently Miller and his girlfriend's brother get into an argument that results in Miller repeatedly pistol whipping him.
What?
That is not where I saw that going.
Oh yeah, no.
He whipped his gun out and repeatedly pistol whipped his girlfriend's brother at
a family barbecue in April.
This is not okay.
It's finally warm out.
You don't pistol whip people.
What's wrong with you?
It took 11 staples to close his wounds on his head.
Wow.
He beat the shit out of him.
Repeatedly pistol whipped.
You're giant.
Just throw him.
They don't know exactly what happened uh but it was i mean we
know enough enough it was that we pistol whipped him it was at his house everybody was drinking
party and it was a cookout barbecue jason worley was his name that was his girlfriend's brother
and apparently it was some kind of argument and before you know it oliver was going to his car
getting his gun and beating the shit out of this man with it fuck i hate this macaroni salad bang so uh yeah
deputy state's attorney thomas fleckenstein said miller was quote seen beating worldly in the street
outside his home i don't know whenever someone's being seen beating someone in the street it makes
it funnier because you're announcing it to everybody i don't give. Whenever someone's being seen beating someone in the street, it makes it funnier. Because you're announcing it to everybody.
I don't give a fuck who knows that I'm beating this person.
I'm doing this.
I'm doing it publicly.
This is not a private matter.
Anyone who wants to get a kick, go into it.
11 staples in his head.
So, yeah.
He hits him with a pistol and then hops in his 2003 BMW and takes off in 2011.
So, he's driving an eight-year-old car.
It was nice at the time.
So he's fucking, what do you do if you're this guy at this point?
What the fuck?
Oh, it's depressing.
He flees in his Beamer.
He drives.
He's looking for food because he's hungry.
He's starving.
I ate like two hours ago at that barbecue and pistol whipping.
That was some activity.
He doesn't know what to do.
He's driving through this neighborhood. He's driving through a neighborhood and he smells food That was some activity. He doesn't know what to do. He's driving through this neighborhood.
He's driving through a neighborhood
and he smells food.
He smells food and he's like,
this smells good.
Where is this coming from?
He's got a special thing.
He's like one of those cartoon,
like the way they would follow a cartoon pie.
Yeah, you can see the smoke.
And you float through the air with your nose.
You don't even have to walk to it.
You float there.
That's what he does generally.
It's an interesting talent.
So he does it and he comes to this one house and he smells something. He goes, damn, to her. You float there. That's what he does generally. It's an interesting talent. So he does it, and he comes to this one house, and he smells something.
He goes, damn, this shit's good in there.
He goes, fuck, I mean, I'm Oliver Miller.
Maybe I could get something.
Maybe they'll let me in.
Maybe they'll let me in.
Maybe I could do it.
As he heads up the steps, before he gets to the front door, a tiny woman bursts from the door, and it's my grandma.
And she says ma how is it you've come to arrive here ma why are you so fat ma how are you so fat ma you so fat
look i'd like to feed you and i have the food you come in and eat but i hear what you do and i say
no you could come in my house and i don't know. You know I do not wear the button fly, so you cannot know.
You're too fat for me.
Why?
You're so fat.
Oh, my poor young man.
You're going to have the attack on your heart.
You can't.
No, you can't do that.
The attack on your heart.
You can't do that.
Poof.
And then she's gone, and he's very upset because he's hungry.
And so he turns
around goes back to the barbecue and is arrested he was hoping for a bucket of spaghetti he said
y'all got any buckets of anything in there he had a bucket of lasagna anything so november of 2011
he pleads guilty to charges of first degree assault and carrying a handgun yeah both of
which not okay in the state of m. Sentencing is set for December.
Guidelines call for him to spend as many as nine years in prison over this.
But he has a nonviolent criminal record because that other shit charges weren't filed on the other two.
So they're saying it's probably not going to be that much.
December 2011, he's living with his girlfriend.
This is sentencing.
He's living with his girlfriend, not her brother, I assume.
In Edgewater, he pleaded guilty, like we said.
He says to the judge, I apologize for the wrong I've done.
He said that he is just, he said he was just a man protecting the people I love from their own brother.
I was hangry.
I was hangry.
You know that, guys.
Yo, my bucket was empty.
What the fuck you want?
Speaking of that, is there a bailiff?
Because I got like two sandwiches left.
So the judge says, I understand that.
And you, sir, may fuck off five years in prison.
Wow.
But suspends all but one.
Suspends for and recommends work release for him after a year.
Throws him a Snickers and says,
you're crazy. There you go. That's what happens.
You know it. Four years
probation also in place of that.
He'll be on probation there. His girlfriend
said she would help him look for a job
because he's an idiot.
His lawyer says that
he hopes to return, Miller
hopes to return to Arizona where he has family and would I would ask the judge to amend the probation judgment saying he can do that.
August 2012.
He moves to the Phoenix Mesa area over there.
He gets a job selling cars.
You betcha.
Oliver Miller selling cars.
I remember that from another episode.
Yep.
Yeah, that was one of those.
He's Richard Dumas.
Yes.
Dumas tried to go there, too,
and they were like,
he couldn't hang.
So Oliver Miller sells cars
for former player Alvin Heggs,
who was like a European league,
and he played college ball,
didn't really make it in the NBA,
but he owns a car dealership,
which is more than Oliver's
got going for him.
Yeah.
So Oliver's there selling cars.
Jesus.
You can't miss him out on the lot.
I'll say that much.
Jesus Christ.
Apparently, he's the GM Heggs for Heggs CJDR, which is a car dealership here somewhere in Phoenix.
So I think it's in Mesa.
August 2016, the Fort Worth Police Department announces.
It's a good thing, actually.
The Fort Worth Police Department announces, it's a good thing actually, the launch of a program called Code True USA and the Junior NBA Leadership Academy. It says, quote, former NBA great Oliver Miller, let's take it down a notch, and a police officer, members of the department, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
They will be basically helping kids and all that type of shit, mentoring kids.
He says, quote, code true simply means that it's up to you to be true to your conscience,
true to your country, and true to your community, is what Oliver Miller says.
Yeah.
He says.
Oh, poor Mary.
Yeah.
No shit, dude.
And then he's trying to get together some nonprofit organization to help kids play ball.
He's calling it FIRM, firm.
He says our friends always called ourselves firm.
Yeah.
I was waiting for that.
Never, Oliver, be firm.
Never be firm or hard or long or fucking forceful.
Rape?
Why'd you call him rape?
I just called him rape.
I don't know what happened.
Why'd you call your organization rape? he says he's ready to jump in uh ready and personally uh right into the deep end he's not messing around he dipped his toe in the
waters and he's felt the wetness and he's ready to dump into the jump into the deep end so
he says about this oh about this trying to help kids
he said we're a non-profit organization
we're just trying to do whatever's possible for these young
men. Last year we had a semi-pro team
and we won our division and got to the championship
and I got coach of the year.
We've got too much talent in Fort Worth
that's why me and my organization
we do AAU for the kids that
don't have a chance to make it to Texas Elite.
My organization and I.
Please.
Are you kidding me?
He can't install a toilet seat.
You expect him to know English?
You're right.
So 2016, he's inducted into the University of Arkansas Sports Hall of Honor.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
He said, this is in his speech, quote, they said I was the second most beloved person in Arkansas behind Bill Clinton back then.
He said that might be true.
He said, although most NBA fans know him as, quote, the fattest NBA player ever, I want them to know I was also a very skilled basketball player and very fat.
I will say this.
He has mocked his whole career and his whole life for his fatness.
And that sucks.
Nobody wants to feel bad for his kids.
I mean, I feel bad for them.
You do.
Not nearly as bad as I feel.
For Oliver Miller, Regulatory Supervision Director and Regional Manager for EU Advisory Compliance at S&P Global Ratings in London.
That sounds important.
Oliver Miller, Director of Strategy and analytics at nashville soccer club oliver miller long haul pilot at norwegian long haul in london so he's
a fucking pilot that flies freight in uh in london oliver miller scientist at fuji film what in the
uk definitely not our guy and finally dr oliver miller m. Are we sure he didn't get his doctorate?
Get his doctorate on after basketball?
He's a dermatologist.
Nope, not him.
In Danville, Pennsylvania.
So don't hold that against Dr. Miller in Danville, Pennsylvania.
January 2017, selected as an SEC basketball legend, or whatever that is.
August 2018,
he says now he wants to make
a change with his weight. He's coming out.
He said after moving back to Phoenix,
he said he knew it was time to make a change.
It's time. He said, I wanted to live
long because I have grandkids now.
Holy shit. He said, I want to
be able to see them graduate, see them grow up.
I want to be able to see them become good young
kids. When I heard about Armand Gilliam, he died and Duckworth and Mason died, Cliff Rozier. And
when I hear about all these guys that I played with and against dying, it scared me that the
one hurt me the most was Sean Rooks. When I heard him pass, I'm like, man, because we were the same
age, same age, same age, came up the same year. And that scared the hell out of me. His family has a history of diabetes and high blood pressure, so he thinks it's time to make a change.
He says, once you see yourself in the mirror and you get tired of looking at what you're looking at, then it's up to you to make a change.
He says he diets and walks.
He says, I walk 30 to 35 minutes.
Sometimes I go an hour and 15.
Let's just keep going a couple more blocks, depending on how I feel.
He says, it's not always easy.
I still have a weakness for French fries.
No shit.
Who doesn't, man?
He says he's lost about 60 pounds and can fit into his son's rookie jersey.
What?
Not bad.
He says, I use my NBA jerseys as motivation.
He says he wants to motivate others to do the same.
And car covers.
You know how it goes. says i am available you can reach out to uh big oh hands one at gmail.com that's his email
address if you need me to come out and speak for motivation or anything i'm available i'm always
saying to be better you'll have to i'm always saying to do better you have to do this makes
to be better you have to do better so why not okay yeah can't get enough oliver miller uh you
can get all sorts of oliver miller shit get like a they have a knockoff suns number 25 on ebay for
30 bucks or 40 bucks 39.99 all sorts of autographs and crap you can find oliver miller not that you
want it um buy a jersey buy it in 7xl to make it fucking you know genuine though you know you don't want to you don't want it to
be not official yeah like a 7xl that's oliver miller everybody yeah that is a crazy ass case of
holy shit just a see what i mean like we had the last few were so full of crime like this one let's just this is a couple of weird
things and he's just a weird guy and it's it's fucking it's a lot it's a pistol whip your brother
-in-law and your future brother-in-law is hilarious i don't know that's just funny i'm
really amazed just going from the 90s to today if that happens today yeah there is an investigation
no matter what she says huge and that player doesn't play
again no are there at least going to be there's a black cloud over them for a long black cloud
until they're legally cleared it's going to be a thing earning potential drops massively time
then it wasn't the same it was like well that's bitches be asking for it that's what it was
bitches are asking for it they're all they go back they're they're all looking for all looking
to get pregnant and have a baby
and hold them on the hook
for child support
that's what it was
it's crazy talk
so I mean
whatever
it's fucking nuts
it happens
and it's whatever
but all things fucked up
but that's
that's Oliver Miller
that's crime and sports
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Those tickets, from what we understand, are selling excessively fast.
Yes.
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It's just a matter of like, put it this way.
The lady across the street from us, she makes amazing cookies.
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She's legit at it.
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They're beautiful.
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We've had some given to us at live shows.
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And she didn't want anything for them, but we just sent her money anyway.
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So we're going to send her money because that's how human beings are.
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But these people just are like, you know what? I get a lot of content fuck it i'm gonna send these guys
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The link.
Damn it.
That said, let us hear from these people.
Our favorite people, the people who keep the show going.
Let us praise them from the hills.
This week's executive producers are Joy Nix, Justin Miller, Rice, Rice, Rice, Kamen, Kamen,
Rice, Rise, R-H-Y-S.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
He donated twice, both ways.
Thank you.
And like, unbelievably, I think it's Rice.
I think it's Rice Darby, who's a comedian.
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right, yeah.
I thought he was Reese, too.
I think it's Rice.
I'm pretty sure it's Rice.
Oh, I fucking called him the wrong name.
Either way, it's an unbelievably nice donation, both ways.
Thank you so much, and sorry we don't know your name.
Joy Nix, or Mix, I think it's Nix.
No, that's definitely Mix.
She donated for her happy birthday, Christy, with an I. Happy birthday, Christy Joy Nix, or Mix. I think it's Nix. No, that's definitely Mix. She donated for Happy Birthday Christy with an I.
Happy Birthday, Christy.
Happy Birthday, Christy.
And Janet Gilbertson, it's also her birthday, so happy birthday.
Gabrielle Grant, Clay Thorson, Jordan Bennett up in Canada, and Kelly Walsh.
Thank you all so much.
You guys really went out of your way and were very, very nice to us.
Thank you.
Thank you.
much you guys really went out of your way and were very very nice to us thank you thank you the other producers this week are sunny johansson uh ashley vo peter mcmahon uh kyle no carl doyle
uh john sardo luna alvarez uh thomas smith michael muiz uh and he binged in six months all of crime
and sports unbelievable cool uh brendan ables uh don dickman lisa would know last name megan wick
uh christine radcliffe i think it's Radcliffe.
You all right, Joey?
It's all right.
My son's in here for shout outs.
Say hello.
Here, we got to say hello.
Say hello, Joey.
Say hello.
Hi.
There you go.
That's my son there.
He says hello.
We also have Brendan Ables, Don Dickman, Lisa with no last name, Megan Wick, Christine Radcliffe,
Cassie Harris, Jesse Hartman, Krista Walker, Patricia Durand, Matt Kerr, Kimberly Litfin,
and she donated for happy birthday to Matt Youngblood, which is a tough last name.
That is.
Happy birthday.
Aaron Boulay, James Marder, Jolene Steptoe, Peyton Meadows, Jason Fuller.
Thanks, Jason Fuller.
Tell your son to stay the path, man.
I really hope you guys get to see your grandson again.
Definitely.
Good luck.
Sean Bridgman.
Reagan Shalkley, in memory of Bo Patterson, who was 20 years old and died of muscular dystrophy.
Christ.
Fucking brutal.
That's horrible.
Go look up muscular dystrophy and see their life expectancy.
It's horrible, man.
If you can't donate to them, it's a terrible, terrible disease.
It is.
their life expectancy, and if you can't donate to them, it's a terrible, terrible disease.
It is.
Bill Sosinski, Leslie Woodruff, Mark Foster, Tyler Gwill, Artis S., Algina, Algina Huber,
John and Sydney, Emmanuel Christian, Pat Fox Leonard, Sean, I would know the last name, Lauren Demerath, Sulam and Jen Chevalard, Debbie Kay, Keith Cole, Kelly Griffin, Jonathan
Turchich, Larry Butterfass, which
is maybe my favorite last name.
That's a good last name.
It might be Butterfoss.
It's just one.
Yeah, it's Butterfass.
I like Butterfass.
Erica Taro, Jeremy Norton, David Bernhardt, Armando Martinez Ochoa, Lynn Marie, yes, Joey
Image, who is a wrestler.
Yeah, I've seen him on it.
He's fantastic.
Tim Van Risen.
Gary Howard.
He's coming to a ton of shows.
We'll see you soon, Howard.
Sherry Amos.
K. Lynn Todd.
Amber Wolfe.
Clay Thorson.
I already said that.
Liza Raius.
Dustin June Serrano.
Oh, Dusty June. Jesus, she's not dustin uh kimberly
mccarthy uh casey handle or he's dusty june that could be a lady or a guy oh yeah we don't know
i'm being very fucking uh presumptuous edward kaczynski uh dita vasquez justin yes yeah edward
kaczynski is a very tough uh that's a that's a very serial killery name it's Ted Kaczynski? Yes. Yeah, Edward Kaczynski is a very tough, that's a very serial killer-y name.
It's Ted Kaczynski.
Oh, is that?
No, that was Theodore, isn't it?
Because it's Ted.
I thought it was actually, but I thought he was an Edward.
No, he might have been a Theodore.
For some reason, I thought, because some Edwards go by Ted.
It's weird.
Who knows?
Casey Handel, I think I said that.
Emily Warwick, Dita Vasquez Justin Saar
Elizabeth Nigro
LJUBINK
LJUBINK
LJUBINK
LJUBINK
Jessica Davies
Jessica Davies
Hals Fowler's co-worker
Brett is a cocksucker and jerks
off for 30 minutes in the bathroom at work.
And I just said that in front of a child.
Casey Donovan.
Summer...
You've brightened
a child's day.
That's hilarious.
Summer Greer
Brooke Dover
and her brother Ben I guess
Victoria Stern, Haley, Sarah Graham
Mike Visser, Cynthia Cooper
Michael Griller
Nathan Little, Fraser Smith
and Emily with no last name
and then home stretch here
Tigran Manasakhaninyan.
I don't know.
Manasakhaninyan?
Something like that.
Brianna Mattingly.
Thank you.
Scott Radom.
Claire Olena.
Heather.
No, Heath.
It's Heath Mauger.
Heather Johnson.
That was the Heather.
Katina Knudsen.
P with no last name or name at all.
Delshere Gladen. Delshere. That's what Heather. Katina Knudsen. P with no last name or name at all.
Delshere Gladen.
Delshere.
That's what that is.
Delshere.
Kel McDonald.
Samantha Diffendaffer.
Max Ringstad.
Emma Banner.
And all of our Patreon donors.
You guys are as amazing as Joey's laugh.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, everybody. You crazy, awesome bastards.
We love you.
It's really...
Listen, fucking life happens every day.
And it happens for us.
It happens for you guys.
And somehow you guys still managed to get through yours and help us get through ours.
So thank you truly.
Shit, do we appreciate it, man.
And what if people wanted to appreciate you, Jimmy?
How could they tell you about that?
You can find me at WismanSucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N sucks on Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat.
And look, I really appreciate
everything you guys send to me.
Every word of positivity
and all the fucking dog pictures
really changed my life.
There's a dude
we talked about before
the guy at the zoo
in Knoxville, Jacob
and his wife Court.
They send me
some of the fucking coolest
close-ups of bears
and rhinos
and unbelievable animals.
It's really
it's just
it's cool to see
what you guys do. So thank you. Where can they you you can find me at jimmy p is funny thank you for
whatever you do uh i care way less about your animals than jimmy does um they're nice and all
i just don't really give a shit um they're cool i'm just like yeah cute dog keep scrolling i don't
know i'm not uh i like my dogs and just other people's dogs my dad's a cute dog if i could
pet the dog then i'm excited yeah i can't pet him yeah so people's dogs. That's a cute dog. If I could pet the dog, then I'm excited.
I can't pet him.
So what's the point?
It's like looking at fucking strippers.
I can't touch that.
What am I doing?
This isn't fair.
Look at that head.
I always want to pet it.
It's fuzzy and fucking flat.
You pet that head and you go, you're a good boy.
And then they fucking wag their tail.
You can't do that.
So yeah, find me at Jimmy P is funny.
Copy and paste my name from the show description or, you know, do it that way.
You're not going to spell Petrogallo right.
Fuck it.
That said, we've had a blast again this week.
We're going to keep having a blast next week and the week after and the week after and the week after.
And we'll keep doing it live from the Crime and Sports studios.
We will see you next week.
Bye. or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Taylor Swift is soaring high, her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans.
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history, not to mention becoming a billionaire in the process. But along the way, Taylor has had to wage war, first by taking on a very powerful, very famous manager, Scooter Braun, and then by going
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