Crime in Sports - #174 - Jesus Is Better Than Meth...? - The Highness of Christian Hosoi
Episode Date: August 27, 2019This week, we peek into the air to see a man soaring over head... then crashing hard, down to earth. He was a beach kid, turned one of the most exciting skateboarders on earth, mixing technic...al precision with daring heights, and cool style, all his own. But the party scene got to him. He tried it all, but settled on meth, and continued to destroy his career & life, until a warrant for his arrest makes him miss the opportunity to make millions, and be more famous than Tony Hawk! Plus, a major airport meth bust... He's got it all!! Be more daring than the next guy, make Tony Hawk jealous of your moves, and throw it all away with pounds of meth with Christian Hosoi!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Stories on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports.
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And we have a wild show today.
It's interesting. It's different. We haven't
done this sport in a long, long time.
It's been years for us, so
it's one like that.
It's interesting there. Next week,
by the way, just to give you a heads up.
A little tickle?
A little tickle.
Next week is a very, very, very famous person.
Oh.
Like, very famous.
Everyone on Earth knows who this person is.
Oh.
We already did, OJ.
Because they're a human peacock, so you'll see.
You'll see who we're talking about next week.
It's going to be very fun next week, though, I will say.
It's going to be wild.
This week, though, we're going to shoot into the sky from a pool or a half pipe all right we got a skater another skater
this week yeah it's been a long time we love gator was that the only one we gave ragowski
it was like our eighth or ninth episode that was our the last only one and only skater we've done
and there i have like five of them to do two five six guys good crazy stuff this one's kind of the
most famous of the bunch and the kind of the uh it's it's an interesting story that we don't get
all the time so it's one of these so we'll we'll do this kind of story tell me how much tony hawk
sucks well no no actually uh that that's the thing about this guy you look at this guy and where he
is now where he was and you look at t guy and where he is now and where he was,
and you look at Tony Hawk and you go,
oh, he could have been right there.
He could have been him.
Oh, I mean, it was that close, as close as it could be,
if not for a complete...
He's responsible for...
This is why it's crime and sports.
It's of his own, completely his own volition.
He didn't hurt himself or anything like that
i love when you get so excited to say why something happened and then you just you it was
making hand gestures and like no one can see these but i'm trying damn it so let's talk about
him let's talk about christian hassoy oh great christian hassoy the little uh asian guy he's a
little asian skater uh yeah he's a christian russia hassoy is that
filipino what is it no no he's japanese he's half japanese dad's filipino asian yes yes it's in asia
it's in asia asian islander it's there it is yes you nailed it he's not has nothing to do with the
philippines though so that's but he's a pretty dark darker fellow right like a like a filipino
darkened well his dad's his dad's a Hawaiian of Japanese descent.
Got it.
So he's-
I'm on board now.
It's just one of those moms, a white lady named Bonnie.
Oh.
So there's that.
Weird.
Yeah, that's it.
So why is it weird?
Just because I'm looking at Christian in my head and I'm like, that guy doesn't look like
he has a white lady named Bonnie.
That's true.
Yeah, Bonnie, you picture big blonde hair.
Big blonde.
Hi, I'm Bonnie.
Hi, y'all.
Yeah.
That's a hi, y'all kind of name.
Hi, y'all.
Bonnie here.
Big boobs and an apron and some hips.
Yeah.
Platinum blonde hair going up there.
Yeah.
Old school style.
Old school Bonnie.
So, yeah, he's born in 1967, October 5th, 1967 here.
His dad's name is Ivan Ivan his mom's name is Bonnie
and they have Christian
Hesoi here there's like
religious names
meanings to his name according to his father
his first name is Christian
obviously his middle name has something to do with
Jewish faith and then
last name has something to do with Buddhism
that makes a lot of sense so that's what his dad says
his dad's not a hippie, but like a kind of a counterculture kind of dude.
All right.
He's an artist.
Freewheeling.
Painter.
You know, smokes weed.
Oh, okay.
You know, freewheeling kind of cat.
You know what I mean?
Fix a name from three different religions.
Yeah.
And label him up.
Yeah, it's the 60s.
Guess what my boy is.
I dare you.
Come on. Look at his skin. Look at hiss. Guess what my boy is. I dare you.
Look at his skin.
Look at his face and listen to his names
and guess, motherfucker.
Christian Hussoy
and you look at him
and you go,
okay, that makes sense.
He looks Asian or whatever.
So you throw that
Jewish name in there.
Yeah, Russia.
But I mean, who knows?
I mean, you could guess
that's Pacific Island
or Japanese or anything.
If you don't know,
who the hell knows?
I have no idea.
If you're not a part of the culture.
If you're like me and stupid as fuck.
Yeah, just ignorant to all things Asian, which I am.
I freely admit that.
Cultural.
Yeah, I have no idea.
So he starts out, the family starts out in L.A. where he's born.
And they move to Hawaii and then back to L.A.
And they kind of go back and forth and
we'll talk about here they they uh moved to berkeley when he's very young okay from la they
move up to berkeley yeah like his parents were there for all the berkeley you know the peace
stuff that was going on there was no way this kid was not going to say tubular as a description of
something something yeah it was just he was was destined from a young age here. I guess in Berkeley here,
Ivan attended graduate school in art at this point,
and then they end up coming back down to Los Angeles
after a couple years,
and this is when L.A. is changing in the 70s.
You know, 70s L.A. is a,
I mean, watch a Zodiac killer,
even though that's northern,
but Charles Manson stuff.
The 70s L.A. is very, it's just a different type of place.
It's way different than now.
It's not today.
It's not today.
Watch Cheech and Chong up in smoke, and you're like, wow, what a crazy.
What is that?
It's like another planet.
It's like another planet from right now.
So he says he was skating before he could walk, basically.
He said he was, you know, if he could stand up, they had him on a could walk basically he said he was you know if he
could stand up they had him on a board which i mean you know it doesn't make any sense like the
it's like you know todd marinovich was throwing a football before he could throw a football right
same shit uh he said but he was a kid very very young you know toddler younger than that when a
friend of the family brought a skateboard over to the house and they
would roll them on the kitchen floor and do all that and he kind of kind of learned there he said
he doesn't remember his first skateboard because he got it when he was so young like that's how
that's how long he's been into it and this is well before this was common you know what i mean
skating in the 50s had a little blip and then it kind of went away in the 60s, except for a few people.
And then in the 70s, it started to come back.
But I don't know if you know the history of skating, but it's just one of those things
where it's all based on equipment, basically.
Like, they had metal wheels back in the day, where they're terrible.
You can't fucking ride around in metal wheels.
You can't do tricks on that shit.
You can't.
If you hit a rock, they don't slide.
It's just bad, metal wheels.
Do you skateboard, or do you do meth?
Which is the reason that all your teeth are gone?
Yeah, which one is it?
Did you hit them on some coping at the top of a pool or both?
Because that happens a lot as well.
There's a few of our guys that we found here.
That happens a lot.
But at this point, apparently this was uh the new
polyurethane wheels had just come out in the 70s and that's when people started skating because
that's when you could skate and it was like it was comfortable and fun metal wheels i mean you're
whole i can't imagine it's that's terrible they have no shock or anything like that they have no
resistance to anything not soft at all they're not soft at all they're awful here so uh yeah this was
uh this was uh this
was kind of like he got like a modern skateboard here that had trucks and these wheels it was
it was better uh now they moved to hawaii they moved to oahu in 1974 and his parents are still
together and everything like that his parents are going to get divorced pretty quickly here
and uh i guess his dad was a surfer too and all that sort of shit and they
would hang out at the beach all the time and you know he just he was like that seems like a really
decent life for a seven-year-old kid to go hang out at the beach all the time from la to hawaii
learn to surf and like it's not a bad life for this kid at all here most kids do that and they
have to go right the fuck back to la to their regular life that's the thing is going there and that is life that's life for him and his everything he said his
dad's a real free spirit the way he describes his dad's a free spirit his mother is way more
not a free spirit she's regimented yeah and you have to i guess that makes sense because you have
to you have to have some sort of balance i guess if the two of them are like that they'd lose the
kid in a riptide.
Where is he?
I don't know.
Were you watching him?
I don't know.
Did you see that turtle?
He floated on out.
He'll be back.
He'll be back.
Hey, you know what?
If you love something, you let the riptide take it.
And if the ocean current brings it back, it was meant to be.
That's the Hawaiian thing. That's the Hawaiian, yeah.
I think that's what Hakuna Matata means, too.
I'm not sure.
So it's like that, and it's also Hawaiian for something.
Several different things.
Just let the riptide take it.
That's how I picture anybody that lives in Hawaii.
It's just like the most fucking attitude on Earth.
Well, it's so laid back.
It's hard not to be really laid back there.
We're not going anywhere.
I mean, it's fine.
If you want to get out off the
island it's going to take hours and days just days so you might as well just relax and stay here and
just chill the fuck out about it yeah who cares it's either you'd either walk around going crazy
that you're trapped on this island or you'd be like all right you just chill that you're
shrugging your shoulders man either take it and be cool with it or run away screaming so uh yeah
it was uh his mother though is uh is very much kind of takes control of the family makes sure
the bills are paid and shit like that because uh dad's a little bit more of a free spirit
lucy goes doing art and things of that nature here uh yeah so she he said that his mother would
tell him that he's got to keep his head on
straight when he was a kid and stuff like that she was very uh you know she was like uh well
dressed and like it's just different than the father very very different so then they move back
to la from hawaii so they're going back and forth here he says his mother worked for a uh some big
company in beverly hills and she was a secretary had to
get dressed up and go work at some fancy place then and uh she says that he says that his mother
was the only person that could make him do shit yeah because everything else was very laid back
but he listened to his mom because everybody else nobody cared he could just do whatever
you know he wanted sure uh but she is also he says like she was into art also because the father was into art
she liked weed and all that kind of shit too so you know she's also sort of i don't want to call
them hippies but she's just more she's at least hip she's uh yeah it's more of a type of uh earthy
type of person i guess you could say here but like they're not moving to a commune or anything like that here so he says that uh uh this is uh this is weird here
he says that uh he he takes that uh uh he he talks a lot about like his when he's a kid his
like weed was very around when he was very little and to a point where it wasn't hidden from him or
anything like that we'll talk about that uh but it was very super casual like he said he had a friend over and they were he was the kid was just shocked of
how like how much weed was in how much casual weed use was going on like the mother would smoke a
little weed before she headed out the door to work and shit like that you know what i mean so the
kids were all like wow this is a crazy house like holy shit and we've all had that friend but i
think it was maybe the just the
beginning of that that era that's when that started that you know passive parenting of just
fucking i don't know dude just have people over and i don't know i mean if you need to live my
life look the third grade is stressful so if you need to skip and just do bong hits all day with
your little friends it's cool manly i think that started in the early 70s and still goes on today somehow.
There's something about
when a sentence is said
that's super casual
with smoke coming out of the mouth
that makes it so much more casual.
It's just way more casual.
And then it's just at the end
it's a whoosh
and you get rid of the rest of it.
It makes it just like,
all right, I mean.
Any words said through
like strained breath trying
to hold the weed in yeah it's hard to argue with that like that he really had that guy sounds
convincing he tried hard to get that out yeah that's the thing that's the thing he wanted those
words out so much that he would let a little bit of his smoke out yeah to tell you those words but
he was keeping the rest so they were important rather than just waiting 10 seconds exhale and then tell it tell what you want to say this is it's important yeah hold on you know if you just need to get a couple of days
it's fine like that that sentence makes so much more sense yeah well yeah that's it's better that
way so a lot of this too there's an article here i got a lot of really good information from a lot
of the information from this article is from christ's book, which we'll talk about later and give him a little plug on that deal there.
But a lot of this came from a really good article.
It was kind of the most concise article on his whole life kind of thing that I found.
Really, there was very specific parts of his life
in certain articles, but this article covered a lot.
So I got to give them credit because a lot came from this.
It's from the... Sports Illustrated
has the SI Vault
online where they have all their old articles.
It's fantastic, by the way.
It's amazing to go back to
just the early 80s. So I've gotten
stuff from Eddie Johnson
when we did way back then where it was articles from 1981
about Eddie Johnson doing coke.
And it's really helpful as a tool for us,
as a research tool here.
This is an article by Carl Taro Greenfeld.
And it's a really good article, like I said,
from top to bottom here
that I got a bunch of this information from.
They're talking about how he was always like a daredevil
yeah and this way this type of shit's just either in you or not like they they talk about how uh
there was a big tree when he was six years old at school and he would just climb it
and then go it was a eucalyptus tree and he'd climb and go out on these branches that are okay
and they're pretty yeah they're not that strong right they're rubbery yeah they're exactly the
rubbery and nobody could nobody, they're rubbery.
And nobody could get them down.
The teachers would tell them to come down.
Nobody was going to chase up after them.
So they were like, I don't know, it was like having a cat in a tree.
What do we do here?
It's just up there.
So the teacher would call his father on the phone and say,
the branch is going to snap, your kid's going to fall and kill himself.
And the dad, obviously, as a father is, my son's in a tree with weak branches.
Holy shit, I got to get there right away.
He said, there's nothing to worry about.
Just don't spook him.
That's what it says. He said, basically, as long as you don't scare him and whatever, he'll be fine.
Just let him do his thing.
Did he say it like that, or did he go, just don't spook him?
Don't spook him, brah. Listen he go, just don't spook him? Don't spook him, bro.
Listen, bro, don't spook him.
Hold on.
That's how he said it.
And they were like, you know, he meant that shit.
He's going to be okay, man.
Just don't spook him.
So he was, he was not, that's what it was.
He was very coordinated.
He's an athletic kid he's a kind of a shorter guy and he's athletic and he's as you can tell by his skating later on he's goddamn fearless
this was a dude that like when i was a kid like i skated in in like 1990 91 92 right and we all
had like you know thrasher because thrasher would have thrasher magazine it's a skating magazine and they would have uh full page pictures of tricks people doing shit
and it would be like you turn a page and be a trick so we all had like pages torn out and you
have like a section on your wall of pages there and everybody had a shitload of christian hassoy
pictures because he was just so much higher than everybody. He was like a fucking rocket. It was insane. It was amazing to watch this guy skate.
He was absolutely incredible.
No one had the explosiveness and style.
Skating is a lot.
Skating is like a, it's not like, certain sports style counts.
In certain sports, it doesn't.
You know what I mean?
Like, I don't know.
And I'm sure it's different if you watch it closely.
But, like, golf isn't really, there's not a lot of styles in golf.
I mean, I'm sure if you watch it, there is.
It's mostly your shirt.
It's fucking subtle.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Like, ooh, he wears a hat that's different.
He wears funny shoes.
Like, nobody does anything.
John Daly is different.
And everybody else is the same.
You know what I'm saying?
There's no Happy Gilmore for real.
That's what I'm saying.
Basketball style counts.
Basketball's a game where it doesn't matter what the stat sheet says.
You can watch a game and like a guy just because the way the dude moves.
It's just enjoyable to watch.
It's a certain style.
He can be like the 11th best center, and he can be your favorite because he does certain shit.
That's what I mean. It's a certain style you like the 11th best center and he can be your favorite because he does certain shit it's that's what i mean it's a certain style of a certain style of play people in new york
john starks isn't the most skilled player but people loved him on the knicks because
he would impale himself to make one defensive stop because he was crazy so things like that
charles barkley had a swagger to him that made him really enjoyable to watch and shit like that.
Skating's the same way.
Skating, you like people's styles.
You like the way they move.
Are they explosive when they come up?
Are they more technical?
Are they shit like that?
Or some specific signature thing they do.
Or that.
Yeah, that's the thing.
Or even their place in the pecking order.
You get like, well, I like that dude.
He's an underdog.
It's one of those things.
Like, Tony Hawk was like this perfect.
Right.
Everything he did looked right.
It was Tom Brady of skating.
It's exactly what he is.
Everything looked right.
It was technically perfect.
Everything was great.
And it's hard to dislike that
unless you're like,
I don't know.
He has no style.
Perfect shit.
Well, he didn't have any style.
He still doesn't have any fucking style.
Truth.
He's the greatest skater.
Everybody has no style. Most milquetoast skater on earth he's very he which i mean he's technically amazing
but i mean he's it's just different when you watch christian asoy i'd rather watch christian asoy
for five minutes than watch however much tony hawk because christian asoy is just a certain
swagger and style to him that is it makes him just different uh so they all said, anyway, the father with the tree,
the father was telling the teachers,
look, he's always been climbing trees.
He just climbs trees.
That's just what he does.
It's his thing.
Yeah, rather than tell him not to climb trees
and keep him out of the trees, they just, you know.
Let him do it.
Yeah, so he would try to get other kids to go up the tree.
Oh, no.
Don't do that.
Nobody would go up as high as him.
Don't get the kids that don't climb trees to climb trees. No, maybe they wanted to climb trees. It's a problem. Maybe you're a tree climber and you you know nobody would nobody would go up as high as him don't get the kids that don't climb trees to climb trees maybe they wanted to climb trees maybe you're a tree climber you
just don't know it yet you gotta give it a shot you gotta give it a shot maybe you don't know
about your shoes off give it a run proclivity for tree climbing so uh yeah anyway he'd be all the
way up there and uh you know maybe that sort of thing and then they'd call his dad again your son's
back up the tree and he said at one
point there's a quote that his dad said he gave later on quote lady look if the kid ain't scared
he ain't in any kind of trouble okay so leave him alone they're like we have like liability yeah we
can't let children we're responsible for your child when he's on our property we don't want
to be sued sir your your son is 30 feet in the air dangling from a narrow rubbery branch and as
stoned as you are and how much you don't care your wife is the opposite of you and she's gonna sue us
so come please get him out of the tree jesus christ so they would they would absolutely
insist that he would come down and get his kid out of the tree basically that's how it worked here
and uh yeah well this is a problem he's his father's too cool with him we'll talk about
cool and too cool i would say so cool is the fact that in 1978 he's 11 years old and his father
built him a ramp in the backyard for skating that's cool fuck yeah your kid's into something
and you go and you're supporting it that's awesome. Yeah, they're building the ramp. That's really cool.
Not cool when he's 10 years old, his father starts smoking weed with him.
Yeah, not cool at all.
Not cool.
See, that's the difference.
You can be cool, and there's a line to coolness.
Yeah.
I like weed and all.
As a parent.
Yeah, I like weed and all.
You don't smoke your kid out at 10.
That's ridiculous.
That's just insane.
What do you think is the age james not 10 well older
than that more than double more than when they own something okay that's when that's when when
they own something that's when you can smoke weed with your kids but see that's a problem too because
they could own a lot of things at 16 no no they don't own it you bought it for them when they went
out and purchased something that took a lot of money to buy when they buy something on payments that's it yeah
yeah when you buy you go out you get a car payment yeah we'll do let's talk it up as soon
as you finish it up great well that's it yeah maybe 26 maybe fine you buy a house you know
what we'll sit right in your living room and we'll puff on something because at that point you're an adult and you've earned it 10 no 18 no no no god no not even close
not even close ridiculous and even then it's still shaky so yes but they do uh they do end up
they uh the building a ramp though in the backyard and so. And so he had a quarter pipe.
So you can go up and you can launch and you can do tricks.
It's not a launch ramp.
It's got a top on it. Not a top, but a level.
Yeah, lay on there.
Where you step up on top.
Exactly.
You can step up.
You can drop in.
It's not like a launch ramp where you're just shooting off and doing tricks.
And it's a quarter pipe.
So it's a ramp up, stop.
And then you come back down.
There's no, like, fucking...
There's no back other side of it.
Right.
Yeah, exactly.
There's no ride you can take.
Exactly.
Exactly here.
So, obviously, this was a big deal for a kid here.
And then his father takes a job in 1979.
This is a dream for a kid who's really into skating.
His father takes a job managing a skate park.
Oh, my God. Which is like, hallelujah hallelujah can you imagine that they are best friends that's what i mean his dad's just and his dad later on when he's skating he even mentions it like he goes you'll
see a heavy set hawaiian dude uh standing there and like in a lot of pictures of me like off to
the side where all the spectators are he stands out he's like you'll see a heavy set hawaiian
dude with his own camera taking pictures at the same time that's his dad because that's my dad he
was always there he goes most of the most of the parents didn't watch their kids skate well now
most of the time the kids were skating because they were home life sucked and they were terror
away they were getting away from that they were yeah they were just that's what it was and whereas
him you know his dad was encouraging his skating he was always so good at it here and uh this was
his dad basically took the job because his son was so good at skating.
He's like, well, I need a job anyway, and this will be great for him.
So he talks about that he's always, at this point in time, like middle school, junior high, he's always got weed on him.
And he gets busted a couple times for weed.
This is when he starts getting arrested as a child here.
He said he only got busted as a minor only twice for possession, which isn't bad.
That's too many still.
Yeah.
For him, he's going, it's not too bad, actually.
He said in eighth grade, he said him and his friends are skipping classes and smoking a
joint in the alley behind the school, which is, you know, that's a tough. In the 70s, though. In the 70s. I mean, we were joint in the alley behind the school which is uh you know
that's a tough in the 70s though in the 70s i mean we did that in the 90s yeah in school in
the 70s he's like muscling people out of the way to get his his room to smoke that's everybody's
back there hey yeah that's a good point yeah in the 70s in la it was if you get if you get caught
smoking weed in an alley it's because you were the slowest
to run is basically what i'm saying yeah it's hard to get caught when everybody's there that's
you might have a really good point here because this seems like this was probably the smoking spot
yeah because uh he says basically they're smoking a joint and he says suddenly a pair of undercover
cops spring out of the bushes and order them to raise their hands and uh he said that he
he he puts his hands up but he keeps the joint in his hand because it was really good weed and
he didn't want to throw it out which i think is an amazing fantasy thought of i'm gaka don't shoot
me but i maybe i'll finish this joint hit it two more times yeah maybe we'll maybe mistake you're
after someone else and I can finish this,
but that's really wishful thinking.
Like, it's got really good weed in it.
I'm going to keep it, yeah.
You just said, put my hands up, not drop it.
Yeah, well, he said he just, like, cupped his hand around it
like you do with, like, one of those.
And he said, yeah, maybe they'll just go, oh, never mind.
You guys are cool.
I don't know what that smell is.
It's fine.
And they instead said, what's that in your hand?
Open it.
And he opened it, and they took the joint, and that was that.
So he says they handcuffed him and his friends, and they drive us out in front of the school.
And he said everybody looks and stares at him and all that sort of shit, and they're handcuffed.
This is silly.
He said the cops uncuff the others
and let them go his friends and he says since he was the one with the joint the cop brings him back
in the car and takes him to the police station and calls his father and uh he says his father
shows up and he plays it very fatherly yeah i'm sorry officer i can assure you nothing like this
will ever happen again you know signs him out and i don't know where he got it i know this is
ridiculous and this these damn kids these days and you know what i mean this culture
i swear i'm gonna put him in military school you know he's going through the whole thing i'm i'm
gonna put him direct he's gonna shave his head we're gonna get him a flat top change this kid's
whole attitude uh instead they get in the car and his dad says quote dude why are you getting busted
you dummy yeah that's what he
said he said and then he says about the undercover cops and he says quote yeah just don't get caught
stupid that's what he tells his kids so that's it and he said they got back home and smoked a fat
joint and that was that so not a weed bust not a big deal in the hassoi household arrest number
one under his belt though under his belt his belt. Yeah, arrest number one.
Not a real consequence for it.
Barely an arrest.
Yeah, it's one of those things.
He said about a year later, they're in Westwood, and they're walking around smoking a chunk
of hash in a ceramic pipe.
Okay.
Which is, maybe don't smoke hash out of a pipe out in public.
In public.
Because you can make a joint look like a cigarette, as you've seen me many times do around venues and stuff yeah you can really play it off just fine
especially if you're super casual about cops in detroit drove right on behind oh yeah i'm super
casual about it no one cares uh but a chunk of hash out of a pipe's a little bit hard to hide
it looks like well you that guy's smoking something out of a pipe right and it's not
you know it's not a sherlock holmes pipe sure doesn't look corn cob no i'm pretty positive a
sherlock holmes pipe you could smoke crack out of those in public and nobody would even look twice
at you if they just think oh yeah it's it's nice old isn't that charming like the big like a like
a bugle like a big horn looking one of those like and you just you puffed on it you gotta hold it
with the palm of your hand
because it's so fucking big.
And look concerned about it.
So look like you're pondering.
Just be like, oh no, that man's very,
he's important and he's in deep thought
and his pipe's helping him with that.
So leave him alone.
Meanwhile, shunk of hash.
That's how you fucking do it.
So he instead, they're walking around
and he said, his friend says,
dude, what are those people in the bushes, doing in the bushes over there and they walk away and uh they end up they they
keep the hash pipe there and uh then they hear uh police hold it right there so what was it in the
70s just cops are always in bushes waiting for people to smoke weed seems like a waste of manpower
and a reason why all these serial killers were getting away with everything in the fucking set this is the same time there's people to the hillside
strangling all these people all night stalker everybody's free killing people left and right
but we got detectives and bushes busting a soy multiple to multiple cops not even one guy
they got they're spending manpower hiding bushes wait for teenagers to walk by smoking weed, jump out at them and take the weed.
Follow your nose.
Jesus Christ, man.
No wonder we fucking couldn't solve anything.
Good Lord.
Zodiac, be in custody today.
If weed was legal.
Keep your nuzzler out and go get that weed.
Go on, get out there.
We got girls on the sides of freeways all over this town, but go get those teenagers.
You can't do anything about that, see?
Sick people are going to do sick things, but these goddamn punks with their weed, that we can stop.
We can stop those punks with their weed from becoming these guys to do this shit.
That's what happens, because one minute you're smoking hash in the park, next minute, obviously, you got a woman's entrails all over you as you're dumping her on the side
of a hill. This is what happens. Carving a
smile on a girl's face and sectioning her
in two. That's how it happens. You're breaking into houses, you're hiding,
you're waiting for them, and then you're raping
them to death while they sleep. You know how it goes.
That's what happens. One day it's hash in the park,
next minute it's that.
We gotta stop it right now.
The horses already left
the barn once they're murdering.
We can't stop that.
You're going to slam doors now?
That's the thing.
We got to get them early and forget that shit.
Women, beware.
Okay, see?
We've done our part.
Hide in the bushes, everybody.
So, yeah.
I wonder if any cops ever lost a finger when a fucking landscape crew came through.
Yeah, it was just, oh shit, gee, hi, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hey, we're back here.
We're back here spraying for bugs.
Hold on.
That would be amazing.
Poison back there.
Well, this sounds like, how'd you lose your finger?
Surveillance, 1972.
Really?
Real big case?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17-year-old smoking weed.
Got two 14-year-olds in a hash pipe.
It was rough.
I mean, I think it saved many women from being butchered and left in the hillsides in the future.
Sometimes you get a sacrifice.
Which, you know.
Yeah, sacrifice a finger.
That's what happens, man.
Luckily it wasn't a thumb.
This sounds like Cheech and Chong up in smoke.
It does.
This sounds like the cops following them around and Stacey Keach getting mad at them and making
them all sit in the back seat one by one and shit.
This is what this sounds like.
Go hide in the bushes.
And he makes, okay, chief.
And he goes and hides in the bushes.
Well, he turns into an iguana.
Yeah.
Well, he turns into, that was Nice Dreams.
It was.
I think, yeah.
Nice Dreams was the iguana one.
Was it?
Yeah.
May have been. Yeah. I think so. I don't know. Oh,'t know oh shit was it don't look at me oh no now i'm mixing
the movies it's really just cheech and chunk it doesn't matter acquiring and smoking weed
they're all the same they're all the same they're all just better and better yeah i just love actually
are they i don't know i love the the what's his name freddie the the black dude who's trying to
sell him diamonds and shit all the time i don don't remember. And new clothes and shit.
I bet I remember.
The uniform.
This is a new cut,
y'all be bad.
Love that fucking guy.
That's good shit.
I didn't love Pee Wee Herman in it.
Oh, that's Nice Dreams,
for sure.
That one's so good.
That's definitely Nice Dreams.
It's so good.
Pee Wee goes under the table,
comes up with coke all over his face,
just all like,
whacked out.
That guy was a kids TV star.
A little later on.
Yeah. Like three years later
three years later yeah nice dreams was probably 81 i think probably 82 because
77 was up in smoke oh was it was it that early it was that early jesus 77 dude up in smoke i
loved like i've heard a lot of interviews about it and shit and like they didn't know what they
were doing yeah making that movie that's why it's good were they so high that they didn't think it
would no no they weren't even high they were just they just didn't know how they were doing making that movie. That's why it's good. Were they so high that they didn't think it would? No, no, no. They weren't even high.
They were just, they just didn't know how to make a movie.
So like, it's really, there's happy accidents.
Like they talk about, I was watching it with the commentary one time and they're like,
see how this master shots really funny.
They're like, if we knew what we were doing, we'd have all sorts of, never do that.
All sorts of closeups.
It'd be punching.
It wouldn't be funny anymore.
He goes, but we just were like, Hey, let it play.
It's comedy.
And that's why it's fucking funny.
It's just interesting, a bunch of different
things, and Cheech still has
those license plates. No kidding. He still has
a car with the Muff Diver California license
plate. That's amazing. He's had them since
then. That's brilliant, because they would never
let you do it today. No way.
Fuck no. M-U-F-D-V-R.
Not happening today, but
if you've had it since 1976, I guess your grandfather didn't.
So there you go.
Buff Diver and Joy.
She's hitchhiking.
But were they so stoned eventually that they woke up one day and they're like, oh my God,
we're successful.
We should make another movie.
Well, no.
Well, they were.
It's been five years.
It was just they had a real successful comedy act.
That's why they made the movie.
Because their comedy act was huge.
They went around crushing shit.
They were killing it, man.
It's unbelievable.
They're so lucky.
That's so lucky.
Yeah, it happened for them.
Because that shit could not happen today.
Not like that.
The 70s was the perfect time.
Perfect time, perfect place.
Just everything crossed perfectly for them.
And even if they were somebody that didn't have a lot of money that was doing great but wasn't super loaded to make their own movie, a movie production studio would fucking ruin that.
They'd put their own brand on it and just ruin everything.
Unless you have all the rights and stuff.
You know what I mean?
Absolutely.
If you sign a contract with all the creativity in it, but it's all garbage.
Yeah, I'm happy there's no modern Cheech and Chong.
That's good.
It was so good.
For the time, it was great.
As a teenager, like in the 90s, it was cool, too.
It was like, oh, wow, this is the 70s.
It's all weird and different.
Picture a van with all the carpet on the wall, and it just smells like sex in there all the time that's the sex and weed and incense for some reason so these two are getting accosted
by undercover officers in the bushes which is amazing and cops pop out say hold it right there
you doing drugs that's what the guy asked it's like that's very 70s and he said no christian
said because they hadn't smoked it yet.
They were they had just like put it in the they were just about to smoke it.
And he tells us to raise their hands.
And his friend before they raise their hand, his friend throws the hash like on the ground.
And it kind of just goes like toward the cops.
And so the cop goes over and picks it up and says, OK, hands on your head.
Now I have your your hash here.
And he says that he tossed.
Christian says he tosses the pipe in the bushes while they're searching his friend.
The pipe hits another cop in the head who was hiding.
Every bush is a cop in it.
Jesus, you too.
Come on, Frank.
We're working this blog, this this part.
For Christ's sake, our beat.
How many cops are
assigned to these bushes so uh one of the cops saw him do it and then goes and gets it as that
always happens and says is this yours and he says no and then he says that the cop hit him on top of
the head with the pipe really for lying yeah because he's he watched him throw it he picked
it up and says is this yours and he went no went, no. So he went, dipshit.
Which is, you know what?
Kind of warranted at that point.
I'm not for any kind of police brutality, but that's one of those where if there was
no major injury, you deserved a fucking bonk on the head.
Shut up, stupid.
Your dad would have done this anyway.
Don't fucking, just don't say anything.
I'm not going to answer.
Don't say, don't look at another grown person in the face and say, no, it's not mine.
Just go, I don't know.
I'm not going to answer it. If you don't want to incriminate yourself, fine. That's smart. Or just stare him right in the face and say no it's not mine just go i don't know i'm not gonna answer
it if you don't want to incriminate yourself fine that's smart or just stare him right in the face
yeah don't don't look at me and say no after i just watched you fucking do that shit are you
kidding me no that's what that's what toddlers do they eat a cookie right in front of you go
did you eat that cookie no no i'm not but still chocolate chips are falling out
of your mouth you little son of a bitch no so uh he says then he hits me hits him in the ribs with
the pipe too and just getting abusive now is he waiting for him to say yes well then the cop says
is this your pipe and he says no again so he hits him in the ribs again and uh he asks if his pipe
if it's his pipe and then he says well yeah i guess so so i'm tired
of being hit let's say no is it gonna hurt again yeah that goes this is gonna be very painful here
so uh yeah he he is the uh in 1980 he places in the top five in the 11 to 13 year old division
of the vans amateur skate finals in california 11 of 13 11 to 13 year old division he's in the top five there
now basically his dad would let him skate as long as the park was open as long as he could skate
in the park he was always there and uh he was just a monster from this time he was a tiny kid too like
these as an adult he wasn't big he wasn't big but at this point there's a picture
of him from 1980 it shows him uh getting out of a pool uh shooting up with his board out of a pool
and he looks like a tiny asian woman a tiny asian girl like a like a 12 year old asian girl for
those of you that are young and don't know what that means the pool was drained the pool was
great they skateboard in a drained pool it was not so amazing that he could skateboard into a wall
that would be very christian that'd be very christian the most he skates on water you'd
have all definitely heard about him by now probably if he skated on water because you'd
have a little skateboard around your neck a little gold skateboard you'd be wearing i'm sure because that'd be fucking amazing anybody actually
walks on water i'm buying whatever the hell they got to say put it that way
if i see it's not a trick i go there i try it i fall in right i get all wet then that guy's
amazing you're pretty amazing you're standing next to me on the water. I'm in the water.
I'm going to listen to what you have to say.
You're dry. My phone's ruined and you're doing great.
Dryest guy wins here.
Tell me what happened.
Tell me what to do with myself.
Oh, Lord.
So, yeah, he looked like this.
He had long hair, long black hair, like a little Asian child.
And he was smaller than average and and that sort of thing
here uh stacy peralta who's one of the founders of pal peralta and you might know him he made the
dogtown and z boys documentary as part of him and he's out there he's been out there a lot
what is the first 20 years what yeah he's the he's the guy that saw that hey we should make boards
and like try to make this a business money on this we should make
money on this because the otherwise we're just skating around right uh he said we all like weed
we should be able to buy it let's let's buy some yeah so he said about uh about his so i quote
christian was this teeny kid a teeny little kid who just had it he had impeccable form even when
he was 10 years old just beautiful to watch it's weird to see a kid at that age with the understanding of how to move his body through space.
And that's exactly what it was.
He was just a freak, man.
It was insane to watch a little kid like this destroy it.
They said his first photo here, they talk about the one I told you where he's getting air out of a pool.
Tony Hawk said, the first time I ever heard of Christian Hosoi was that photo.
And he was an amateur skateboarder, Tony Hawk.
He wasn't in magazines or anything at the time.
He said, my friends and I thought he was a girl.
But we were like, who is this girl?
She rips.
So I thought that was fucking hilarious.
They were like, this chick's awesome.
And not a chick.
He said, Christian was so fluid. Everything he did, he did it awesome. And not a chick. He said Christian was so fluid.
Everything he did, he did it with his own signature.
That's what I mean about him.
You could watch him and you know who it was.
If he was a silhouette and you knew skating, you could watch him for two minutes, 10 seconds.
And all that's Christian.
So I just been the way he did his moves.
Not a lot of guys are like that where you could just tell who they are by the way they move.
So it's one of those deals here.
It's kind of like why they don't, you know, the silhouettes of, like, sports.
Like, you know, they get someone unique.
Jerry West had a certain way of movement.
That's why he's the NBA.
Yeah, it's recognizable here.
So he was so goddamn good, though, that everybody was kind of blown away by him.
A skater at the time, another skater, said he made skateboarding an art.
Everybody said he was, like, beautiful to watch because he was, like, he had the, when he'd go up in the air, and I remember this, he'd go up in the air.
It seemed like he's up there forever.
He had, like, this hang time that was just different than everybody else's.
And it seemed like then he would explode down.
It was this really weird thing. I don't know how it worked here uh but he's very very strong like legs and shit like that and uh
you know good balance that sort of thing here uh so uh stacy peralta said quote we invented going
out of the pool and doing aerials but for guys like christian and tony the swimming pool walls
were no longer for riding they were for launching this was the first these were the first guys getting these huge air out of pools and off of
ramps before that it wasn't about that guys would come up a little drop out of the pool but it was
mainly to go up and grind on and tricks on and come back down and it was a different thing these
guys are up in the up in the air doing spins and doing weird shit with this board they yeah just
you didn't do that.
You're flipping around.
We're like, how the shit do you do that?
Holding the front of the board and being pushed against the board somehow still.
How the fuck do you do that?
Or the weirdest is like the first time, I don't know if you know what this is, but first
time anybody saw a McTwist, it must have been like, holy shit.
Have you ever seen a McTwist?
Is that where you grab both hands and spin?
No, you go up and it's a certain amount of turns, but there's a flop in it, too.
It's hard to explain.
There's a flop involved in it where it looks like the person's out of control and inside of a dryer.
And you've got to flip the board around your body?
No, no, no, no.
It's the way you turn yourself.
Oh, I see what you mean.
It looks like the person has been dropped from a plane and it's going badly.
And yet then they land it.
And you're just like, wow, how do you make your body do that?
It's amazing.
Like when I skated, it was all street shit.
We never had ramps.
And so you'd see guys do that.
And you're just like, that's incredible.
So incredible.
So Christian started just owning all the amateur shit when he was you know 12 13 he
was just dominating he was better than everybody else especially his age no one his age can touch
him uh ever uh another skater here said quote christian was the best pool skater i've ever seen
he could make any trick look really easy or really critical um so they uh basically in the late 70s
early 80s here all like the dog town guys like like Tony Alva and all those guys, they would get pools and, you know, they would find a pool to skate.
Right.
And they would keep all the other skaters out of this pool because there's a ton of kids that would want to shitty teenage kids who wanted to come skate to and fuck up the pool and make the whole thing not worth it.
Right.
They weren't serious.
So they basically have somebody stand guard and keep all the kids out.
Keep all the shitheads out.
All the open micers out of the pool.
That's what it was.
Keep the open micers out of here.
There was no Mitzi Shore to tell everybody they aren't good enough?
No.
The open micers can't have access to the waters in the fridge because there'll be none left.
There's too many of them and they don't deserve water of the sugar-free red bulls that's what it
was yeah that's exactly any comedy club there so these guys uh the only kid they would let in was
christian asoi he was the only one allowed with those guys because they were just amazed by him
they were like this kid holy shit let's watch him it was great must have felt to be him oh that's
what i mean he's amazing at the thing he really enjoys and all of his idols, all the people around
him.
And he's in the one place in the world where he could do this.
Right.
And all these guys around him are all, you know, encouraging him.
And it must have been a great life.
He goes home and smokes weed.
Yeah.
With his dad.
It must be cool, too, to live in that moment and being like, somebody should write a movie
about this shit.
And they're about to, kid.
Yeah.
That's what. Oh, shit. They're about to kid yeah that's oh shit they're about several amazing yeah several i mean it's gonna feel great for you
to have your story on a fucking big screen oh yeah buying tickets for it absolutely uh another
skater here uh said he was quote he was so beautiful to watch they'll never be another
skater like him he had it all the best moves and the most incredible lifestyle he just everybody everybody was kind of like jealous of him because it seemed effortless
too was the other thing like he didn't seem like he was even trying he was real laid back he'd
kick it at the beach smoke some weed and you know act like he wasn't going to do anything and be
like i'll go hit that ramp quick and just blow everybody away and then head back to the beach
smoke a little weed so it wasn't like oh well he's
the first guy at the ramp in the morning and the last guy to leave he's you know not like a tom
brady or peyton manning where it's like oh yeah that's what he's at the facility at 4 a.m of
course he's good it's not like that it's pretty awesome that he picked it or he was given the
talent somehow for to be able to do something amazing in the two like most amazing places to
do that's the thing.
It was the perfect form of, yeah.
He's not the Peyton Manning.
He's more like Brett Favre when he came in there and he's like,
I don't know the plays or nothing, but I'll sing that shit down the field
and we're going to win this game.
We're going to win this puppy.
I'll sing that shit down the field.
We're going to win this puppy.
I feel like that's what he would do.
I'll bet Brett Favre has said those words before.
I'll just sing this bitch down the field. We'll just go home and win. And they were like, I guess. They're going to say this puppy. I feel like that's what he would do. I'll bet Brett Favre has said those words before. I'll just zing this bitch down the field.
We'll just go home and win.
And they were like, I guess.
They say we just win today.
What do you think?
Sure.
Why not?
Zing this shit down the field.
We'll fuck the cheerleaders and we'll have a great night.
And we'll go home.
Yeah, right in the face.
Sound good, boys?
Anybody?
Wherever you want, but start in the face.
Let's be gentlemen, guys.
Gentlemen.
Let's be fucking gentlemen.
Jesus Christ. I get you want to
start down there i started the forky way down what i'm saying here jesus christ have some respect for
these ladies so uh this uh this is the time to he couldn't have timed it any better as far as
this is when skateboarding becomes a thing right like we Like we said, 70s, early 70s, 60s, it was outside thing, metal wheels.
And the good equipment started coming in, started to become a little more popular.
Skate parks started opening in California.
This is when people realized, oh, this could be a business.
This could be a little bit of a fuck.
You can make skateboards and wheels and trucks and skater apparel.
Right.
Shoes. Yeah yeah this is when
people started saying oh shit this is magazines thrasher came out in 81 yeah uh thrasher magazine
so which is the you know standard skate magazine what a brilliant fucking business model too because
there is not a single part on any of this not a single piece of equipment that doesn't wear out
oh it's all replaceable all you have to end the moment.
Right now.
The harder and more you skate, the more you have to replace everything.
Skating destroys everything.
Skating destroyed all my shoes, the boards, the wheels, everything.
I had to have hip surgery because I fell off a fucking, I shot up on a launch ramp and
fell and cracked my hip on a goddamn sidewalk.
Jesus Christ.
Skating will take everything
yeah it's really skating is the most expensive sport not only does it fuck up the equipment that
you use it fucks up the arena that you do it oh absolutely and and it's the only sport where like
injuries are you're showing off your most people you're like you want to say like oh look at how
uninjured i got through this whole thing skating itating, it's like, oh, I felt bad.
You would wear, even if it's cold out, I'd fuck my knee up.
I have a huge scab.
I got to wear shorts to show everybody what a lunatic I am.
It was like this thing of, I can hurt myself more and be fine.
They're like wrestlers.
It's exactly what they're like.
That's what it is.
Like, you know, hit me with the chair harder because I can fucking take it.
Isn't that cool?
And they limp home and do a bunch of pills and shit and that's what happens i'll
stand on the other leg on the board that's kick with the bad one that's what it is it's really
interesting here but and at this point here this is when uh they talk about how this is when it
goes from being just like a you know hey a skateboard you get your kid and they go down
the sidewalk and they throw it in the garage to a specialty thing that people were into and they had their
own shops and all that sort of shit here and uh they said the skate park started to shut down
they talk about in this article because of uh the the insurance premiums were insane i can't even
imagine back of that and yeah they didn't know how to manage that quite yet here so uh there was
parallel powell and perta at this point.
And like I said, they started up and they were trying to,
the whole thing was trying to be marketed as counterculture too.
This wasn't for like your clean cut kid.
This was like, oh, punk music and skating and it had its own.
Fuck the status quo.
We're going to change it.
Yeah.
I'm not
crazy you're the one who's crazy right right you're driving me crazy you're crazy driving a
car you fucking pussy all i wanted was a pepsi and you wouldn't fucking give it to me
you know that's what it was though and his brother owned a skate shop mike muir the
south little tendency singer his brother owned one of these skate shops around there
that makes sense i mean this was the that was the culture you know that was the whole deal here so uh uh the uh they would basically
have all of these companies they started to hold contests these ramp contests because people wanted
to see it it was like an interesting thing they were all over and uh stacy peralta said quote it
was just a bunch of kids rolling up in a van and ripping some ramp in the middle of nowhere.
We knew skating had become more underground activity to survive.
That mystique was good for the sport.
So, yeah, they just pop up.
And it was.
It was a very kind of underground activity, except that they, like 1982, things like that, or 83, it started to become a lot more mainstream as far as everyone started to know of it and uh it was definitely underground but it was it was different they were starting to
kind of promote it more and make it more of a business here so his career though starts out
very early his first sponsorship deal to get boards and shit was with Powell and Peralta in 1979 when he was 12. Unbelievable. 12!
Unbelievable. 12!
Sponsored. Sponsored. Wow.
We always talk about these sports. We talked about Capriotti.
Not when she was 12.
Todd Marinovich, not when he was 12.
This is as early as it
comes because there's no
league. There's no governing body.
It's just, we'll give you free skateboards.
You'll give this kid free skateboards, and then he'll jump around, and he's riding our
skateboard.
And he'll sell our board.
And that's it.
That's how it works here.
But what he does is he says that they didn't want him to turn pro.
They wanted him to stay amateur.
Stacey Peralta told him to stay amateur for a couple more years, and he's like, what does
that mean?
Why would I do that?
He's like, why a couple more years? He goes, I don't get it.
I'm better than them. Why should I stay amateur?
I'm 12 and I'm better than you.
And I want to make money. It's way better than you
ever were and I want to make money.
And he was like, just give it a couple more years.
And I don't know if he was trying to keep him in a holding pattern.
I don't know what
the...
Because he was good enough to be a pro, so I don't know what the
motivation was for Stacey Peralta. I'm not going to say it was anything dark or anything like that he might
have just thought it'd be better for him as a person right to not make it a you know not make
it like that so soon which is honestly fine advice i mean if you say it's also advice of like
what if at 14 he wants pussy instead of this you know what i mean like what if it's chasing
girls let it go like that yeah and i and that's what i mean i don't know this could be for his
own good literally looking at him like you're too young for this right now you know whatever
uh but instead uh christian says that he wants to be pro right now so he agrees to ride for dog town
which is another uh board he said he had his graphics made up for his new model of the board
and everything. And
board is just about to be released, and
Dogtown goes out of business. Oh, no.
So he's like, fuck. He was all
excited. And
Stacey Peralta said this about
his, about Christian
leaving Powell and Peralta.
Quote, it wasn't because he was too young.
I wanted all my skaters to become the best they could as amateurs.
So when they turn pro, they would immediately make a splash.
But it worked out when Dogtown went under.
I hired Tony Hawk.
So I lost one great skater and replaced him with another great skater.
So, yeah, no big loss if you got Tony Hawk to replace him.
Wow.
So not too shabby.
It was another kid at that point.
So he also says, quote, this is stacy peralta again when christian was really young around 10 or 11 i don't recall
ever hearing him speak i think at one point i actually wondered if he was mute it wasn't until
after he turned pro that he really started to project not just in his skating but with his
personality i never understood how a kid so quiet could develop into this rock star personality yeah so it's it's yeah he he comes out of his shell when he turns
pro it's just a day i think when he makes it makes your own you just if someone's if you're 14
and people are handing you checks you gotta talk holy shit the confidence that would give you would
be enormous because that's not only is it your circle now that's
money that means that you're good in any circle you can take that money anywhere and fit it for
us of anywhere that's what i mean anywhere you want uh so he says christian says quote i was a
professional skater by the time i was 14 i was already on the covers of mags and stuff on magazine
covers as a teenager jesus when i went to school everyone knew who i was
i already had a couple thousand dollars a month coming in i could do anything i wanted incredible
so he's like 14 he's making two three grand a month he lives at home he's got no bills killing
it he's doing what he would do anyway but you know what i was doing for free when i was his age
but he's doing it uh making a little money and he's like a celebrity yeah at school he's 14
making 40 grand a year this is a great life man this is great this is fucking fantastic good yeah
uh one of his friends says he remembers and he didn't take school seriously obviously why the
fuck would you how could you no reason you're looking at your teachers going i make more money
than you and i'm not even trying um i don't have to get up in the morning and do a whole thing.
I make more money than you, and I'm not even allowed.
Yeah.
Legally, I'm not even allowed.
They're just giving me the shit.
I'm just winning prize money.
I'm literally just skating around.
I'm not even working, to be honest with you.
It's not even work.
Basically, this is my version of Legos, that i'm making more money than you for your chosen
career that you're probably still paying student loans yeah yeah say that shit about american
history again let's hear it yeah no tell me how important this is for me to know so uh yeah a
friend of his here says that he remembers christian uh one time uh standing outside the classroom
at the side the window holding up uh two skateboards and a bag of weed
he's like trying to get his attention and he said quote he was jumping up and down showing me the
baggie he'd be like let's go to the beach and i'd be like don't you have school and he said i'm all
finished with school like he was i left oh i'm all done i'm done i was smoking weed in the alley
i checked the bushes first don't worry always check Always check the bushes. It's the lesson here.
I've just been out here looking in shrubs all day.
Yeah, that's it.
They said his typical day was he'd go to the Venice boardwalk, hang out on the beach, smoke
some weed, hang out with some girls.
If he felt like it, he'd go to the half pipe and start fucking around draws drawing a huge crowd and everybody oohing and aahing
and then he'd go back and hang out on the beach
smoke weed just living the life
what a day just look I
mean what a day I've never had a day
that good never
ever this guy did it constantly like a fucking
dick this is Monday through Friday for him
Saturday and Sunday are out of
control oh god this is
this is Wednesday this is when all his friends
are busy with school. Yeah, this is Wednesday
math class time. He's just
kicking it on the beach, stoned.
And a blowy up on top of the halfpipe.
Maybe he'll skate. I don't know.
So he says that, you know,
boards are starting to
sell really well. His boards are selling
really well. He says he's having
them manufactured at one point
here by a company called skull skates which is this is so weird owned by you know the comedian
rick duckman no tom hanks his friend in the burbs what the blonde guy yeah rick dukeman the 80s
comedian his brother owns the skate skate company how weird is that rick doesn't look like he's ever skated does his
brother look like him this brick's a bowling ball yeah he's a fat fuck no i don't know what his
brother looks like but his brother owns a god this skull skates wow uh so yeah uh he said that he
this was an old school brand he'd saw in magazines since he was a kid yeah and so he said fuck it why
not he'll do it up so he he had it there and And then he had a deal with Santa Cruz, which is I remember that the Santa Cruz boards that he had there for wheels.
I mean, for boards.
And he says he was a 17 year old kid.
And he said he was proposing a business deal here.
And basically, he picked a new way of approaching this in terms of royalties.
He said that he'll ride, he told them he'd
ride exclusively these specific
Santa Cruz wheels, and
all they'd have to pay him is $1,000 a
month to ride these wheels, and a
small percentage of each wheel sold.
How much is that percentage? See, that's the thing here.
I don't know what it was here. And they were like,
what the fuck? They didn't realize
nobody had ever asked for a royalty
before like that. And he says, you know, what do you think they were like what the fuck they didn't realize no nobody had ever asked for a royalty yeah before
like that and he says uh you know what do you think here and uh they ended up saying i guess
so all right yeah we agree to that they didn't know how much money did he make so he made money
he said he was doing great he said on the on the you know uh on the covers they you know on all
these magazines and shit you could see his wheels and and uh he would always he would always do them
he said the production skyrocketed of these wheels from 12 000 wheels a month to 65 000 wheels a
month oh jesus he made them very popular and uh he ended up switching his board production from
skull skates to santa cruz and uh that's what i remember from the old school pictures was his
board that hammerhead made santa cruz board uh hammerhead
is a board that he makes around this time it's got a really unique shape all the boards kind of
the same shape his was it would look normal and it got to the top and it really cut in hard and
then it had like a smaller nose off of it like a and they called it the hammerhead it was very
interesting it almost like two noses like this and then like that it was like come and then
it was very it's hard to explain but if you look it up it looked like uh two dickheads
stacked on each other kind of it was a not really we yes just trying to get kind of like a dick
sort of i guess we can let's let's compare it to a dick always i think that's the easiest thing to
do here so but yeah this this was a very popular board and it was very identifiable it was very
different you knew that board and he kept that board shape forever too oh yeah i remember when But yeah, this was a very popular board, and it was very identifiable. It was very different.
You knew that board, and he kept that board shape forever, too.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
I remember when I was a kid, that board was still going on.
Okay.
So he had all sorts of sponsors.
He had the, what is it, that Jimmy's?
Oh, Jimmy Z.
That shit.
He had that.
It was a sponsor for clothes.
He had Converse shoes, independent trucks, Swatch.
This is the most 80s shit ever jimmy z and swatch
i rocked jimmy z all the time just because it had my name spelled wrong i loved it though it was the
most comfortable shit because it was all big it was so good it was like surf skate yeah it was
that's what it was and uh swatches yeah hasoi in the 80s used to wear like eight swatches really
he was one of those people who had like he's sponsored by him so he'd have like eight all different color crazy swatches on
his on his arm that's the other thing too like when he'd go out at night like a little later on
he didn't go in like his normal he didn't go in like sneakers and his gear he looked he dressed
like a he'd wear like leather pants and shit he dressed like a rock star like that's how he had his persona was like yeah he'd
go out and it was weird so uh he said that he was doing so well at this point he's making hundreds
of thousands of dollars a year so he's doing fantastic and uh on ramps he's kind of unmatched
really as far as this everyone just assumes he's the best guy and they were trying to they're trying to get like a
rival for him this whole time okay they need a rivalry that's smart that's how it works there's
always a rivalry and it's the only way you can make shit work like this otherwise it's just let's
all watch these really good guys skate right you need people to root against you yeah you need them
to root for you so you think they pick kind of tony hawk as the rival just to him just because
he's the opposite of him yeah tony hawk
is really you know he's tall and lanky and he's a short stocky guy not stocky but stockier than
tony hawk uh tony hawk's real technical and everything the soy chicken the soy is all style
it's a it's a very much uh they're just very different and it's a very much a you know uh
an ollie frazier situation here where you're gonna you can't like both of them really so it's very much an Ali Frazier situation here where you can't like both of them, really.
It's hard to like both of them, even though as kids we all liked both of them.
Of course.
I wasn't a big Tony Hawk fan.
I liked everybody.
I really liked watching Black Guys with Dreads.
Those were my favorite to watch.
Oh, those were great.
Yeah, street skaters, too.
Street guys.
But I always liked Mike McGill way better than Tony Hawk.
I had the Mike McGill board.
I always liked Mike McGill way better than Tony Hawk.
I had the Mike McGill board.
And McGill was like, he was like the Michael Keaton to Tom Hanks.
You know what I mean?
The poor man's Tony Hawk.
He invented the McTwist.
It was Mike McGill.
It was great.
Hence the Mick part.
The Mick part, yeah.
He's amazing, but he just didn't.
Tony Hawk got more pub.
I don't know what it was about it, but I was always more of a McGill guy.
I was like the kind of the underdog or underdog year one.
It's much more fun to watch.
Yeah, I don't know what it was here.
When the winner wins, that's no fun.
That's the thing.
That fucking sucks.
Yeah, that's what it was.
Yeah.
I hate that.
And Tony Hawk was kind of everybody.
I remember as a kid, I don't know how true it was, but everyone always said he was a rich kid.
That's what it makes sense of.
His fucking daddy building ramps and shit like that so as kids we were all poor street skating kids were like fuck that guy right his fucking ramp i want some vitriol for the for the underdog for the guy
that doesn't fucking is that the word i'm looking we have to go wax up a curb to do shit on it this
asshole's got fucking half pipes in his yard screw Screw this guy. I found a bench that we can use.
His dad took a carpentry class to build that for him.
Yeah, that's...
Like, my dad just fucking builds this stuff.
Probably.
Because this is his day job.
Yeah.
And then he bitches at me while he bleeds making this shit for me.
Goddamn son of a bitch sunburn.
He's going to hate this shit in two weeks anyway.
Why the fuck am I building this?
He's going to break his goddamn neck if it's going to happen.
And that'll cost me money, too.
It's all going'll cost me money too it's all gonna cost me you know the fucking hospital costs that's me out here hammering this shit in that's every father's talent is figuring out how anything in the world will cost
him money right that's literally right my father when i was a kid could find any way that it would
cost him money somehow that's gonna cost to cost me money. How? Yeah.
How is Princess Diana being killed
going to cost you money?
I don't understand that.
But he could figure out a way.
Fucking economy's going to go to shit.
This would happen.
That's going to cost me money somehow.
It's going to cost him money.
Meanwhile, Tony Hawk's dad's coming home
from his class going,
son, I can't wait to show you about the dovetail.
Have you ever heard of bullnose?
Have you ever heard of tongue and groove? Fuck mr hawk yeah my dad was normal yeah i
was like i don't know it's gonna cost me money he just didn't want to have to have shit no it's not
normal to go build your kids shit in the yard that's weird it's great and all but it's strange
you know that guy doesn't have kids he's a child molester that's the difference he's their guy there 20 minutes early with orange slices so 1986 he appears in a film a feature film called thrashing i don't know
if you guys remember this but there was a few years there where they made some oh boy some bad
remember gleaming the cube with christian slater of course that was another one that had all the
real pro whenever they'd show a all the guys skating together it was all real skaters it was
all fucking tony hawk it was tony hawk mike mcgill caballero it was all those guys because that's
not just something you can pay a stuntman no good to look good yeah you can't pay him to fall off a
building and look good well you can you can have one of those shots where the guy skates by for
two seconds in front of the camera and they can look fine standing there but when they're actually
skating like fast through a thing like there's a style to that where
you can't learn that you can't like i'm an actor so i took some lessons no that's that's not gonna
work tony hawk's dad can't just go no no that's i mean that skateboard is like looks like it's
attached to your body if you know what you're doing correctly and it takes a lot it's like
somebody saying you know i'm just gonna learn how to swing a baseball bat right it's like well
you're gonna look like an probably, because that takes a lot
of practice.
I hope they can CGI the ball in and off that bat.
Yeah, or like a guy dribbling a basketball well.
Yeah, you can't do that.
You have to know how to do that, or else you can't do that.
You can't just learn how to do that in two weeks.
You're going to look really dumb trying.
So, Thrashing stars Josh Brolin, actually.
Oh, really?
Yes, as a skateboarder oh yeah coming off is he
that old yeah good lord he's in goonies yeah i guess he is he's fucking fuck he's yeah he's old
as shit yeah he's been around forever josh brolin but he's a he's a teenage skater in this movie
and the uh the description is quote two skateboarding gangs battle each other for supremacy, and
a member of one gang falls in love with the sister of his rival, which is just the story
of every movie like that.
It's just Romeo and Juliet.
It's all it is.
It's over and over Romeo and Juliet.
6.7 out of 10 on IMDb.
Really?
I think it's for nostalgia purposes.
It's got to be.
It's one of those where it's got the music from the time.
It's a bunch of chicks that love Josh Bro brolin yeah and the old skaters and it's like old people who
skated back then who probably you know whatever remembered it when they were kids because it was
it's cheesy yeah yeah christian plays surprisingly a skateboarder weird and some skateboarding scenes
some range so it's weird yeah it's got uh it's not just him too there's uh steve caballeros in it tony hawks in it uh mike mcgill's in it there's a all the big guys are in this movie as pool skaters
the usual suspects usual suspects here so by the mid-80s here tony hawk becomes a force then you
can't ignore him anymore and uh like by the time i was skating, he was already like his board was the most prominent board.
Like Tony Hawk was the that was the ramp board you got.
And it's we'll talk about this in a little bit here.
The way that skating changed.
But Tony Hawk is winning a bunch of shit.
He's doing he's doing very well.
And there's so is Christian.
But they're just so different.
Like Tony Hawk is so clean cut seeming. Tony Hawk said, quote, Christian was the they're just so different. Tony Hawk is so clean-cut seeming.
Tony Hawk said, quote, Christian was the air, the showman.
I was the technician.
I could go high, but I couldn't do it consistently.
I always wished I could go as big as he did.
And I think that's just why a lot of it is his size and whatever.
But he got so fucking high in the air, it was ridiculous.
So they were the kind of the one guy puts it perfectly.
He says they were starting to be a division between the hardcore punk skater and the skate park skater.
So this is kind of like the rich kids versus the kids who have to go take over somebody's pool because they're on vacation for a week.
It's that or the parents who let the kid drain the pool so they're on vacation for a week it's that's or one or the parents who let the kid drain
the pool so they could can you imagine coming home from fucking to your drain pool with black
shit all broken the lip of the pool broken bottles in the bottom oh motherfucker used condoms all
around the yard and beer bottles and shit condoms so mad it's just your backyard just dripping in
jizz oh yeah that's true what am i talking about raw dogging all over the place these guys aren't using condoms no way they're
breaking their neck at any second condoms are off the table we'll just refill the pool with it what
do you guys say yeah we drained it for we may as well just fill it back up everybody get on the edge
this guy says quote because tony's dad was always around, Tony had the reputation of being a goody-goody guy while everybody else was getting stoned all the time.
See, Soy's dad was around, too, but he was getting stoned with all the guys, so he was considered kind of trash like them, whereas Tony Hawk is considered he's going to get in his daddy's Volvo and drive away after the tournament.
So they talked about the pre-contest things they used to do and uh i guess tony hawk's
dad would have tony doing calisthenics in the parking lot like warming up properly and meanwhile
you know christian and ivan would be doing fucking bong hits in the van literally doing
bong hits in the van and all this sort of shit he's like you ready i'm ready hold on okay i'm good so tony's having orange slices yeah literally doing calisthenics
come on more more squat thrust tony and he's like well i'm it's skating i'm trying to be a badass
yeah dad i'm trying to be don't say squat thrust my haircut's not helping already
i'm fucking 11 i've got this enormous adam's apple that i look
like an asshole i'm a goofy shit my adam's apple sticks out further than my nose which also sticks
out way too far yes and i and i still have the same haircut i have to keep this how long till 60
40 years jesus christ my dad said i have to keep this haircut till i collect social security is
that true fuck seems like he lost a bet true damn it i hope he hears this and realizes tomorrow
that he doesn't have to do it anymore i can just do what i want i can i can shave this you can
shave it i can fucking grow grow it out i could just get a normal haircut that's not a fucking swoopy weird thing like that so yeah uh christian here
was he was the he was the cool guy that everybody you wanted to be like christian basically cool
and amazingly good whereas tony hawk was like he's a dork right you know later on he becomes not so much a dork obviously but uh he
ends up finding founding his own company in 1985 so at 18 he founds his own company which is his
soy skates and uh i remember his this logo very clearly it's his name uh with a rising sun like
a japanese type of thing here uh he said he was making you know a few thousand bucks a month he
had uh decks he said he was making a few thousand bucks a month he had uh decks he said
he was making a few thousand bucks a month on just the decks just the boards and then he had
the jimmy z and oakley swatch yeah converse he's the most 80s the most 80s when you think oakley's
not oakley's oakley's fucking razor blade oakley's the yeah the ugliest oakleys ever. These were probably more frog skin Oakleys, I feel like.
You think so?
Yeah.
What year is this?
Like 86.
Oh, maybe.
I think these were probably that Oakley.
May have taken a while for those blades to come out.
Yeah, the Ray-Ban looking Oakleys.
I feel like that's what they were, because that's what was popular back then.
Yeah, picture Tom Cruise and everything.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ray-Bans.
He doesn't have the...
Those weird...
Was that like 90s?
It was like 90s.
Was it?
Like 89, 90s.
Those were horrible.
When people started perming their mullets.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
When they started...
Macho man glasses.
Yeah.
And they were like, you know what?
This is a good mullet, but I need to make it puffier.
And if we could put blonde highlights in it, I think that would really accentuate the mullet.
And then glasses that go from purple on the bridge of your nose to orange over your eyes
and back to purple on the fucking...
What are we doing?
It's funny that the mullet had to really make one last final hurrah with blowout mullets
and like...
In your face mullet.
Fuck it, man.
It's the last days.
It's the last days.
Burn it down.
Just fucking let it go and then cut it off.
This is not going to be cool.
That's nuts.
Next year, Converse put out a poster with Christian Hisoi and Magic Johnson on it.
Wow.
So that's what I'm saying.
He was a mainstream, getting to be a mainstream star.
And they looked at him as such a young guy.
They're like, this is like the, you can lock into the, you can get into the kids who don't
like sports with this kids because the Magic Johnson does nothing for the kids are like, ah, fuck
sports.
Like I like music and I like this and that might make basketball cool to those kids.
Not, it was not best.
It doesn't matter if they like basketball.
He can still sell them converse.
Yeah.
That's all they care about.
We don't care what you like.
That's what he had.
It's a converse shoes with him and magic.
That was a while.
Yeah.
Cause they were both converse later on.
He'll be with vans and he'll be going to stick them for a long time here uh he would travel around the world
he said that was where he made the most money doing like the skating demonstrations that they
would do uh to promote a skate shop or a company hey we got christian assoy riding the ramp today
and he'd show up and do that he made up to five grand a day to do that in the mid 80s to skate in the mid 80s a day a day that's which
is 15 grand a day now i mean it's crazy uh yeah he appeared he had coke and pepsi commercials that
he was in the background skating doing all that shit so uh he was i remember i don't remember
which one but he was in a beastie boys video skating around to one of them i can't remember
which one they had all the skaters in i don't't know. Then I'll obviously thrash in here.
He was making at one point here in the mid-80s, he was making about $350,000 a year.
Wow.
I like how in this article they mentioned the average NBA salary was $300,000 at that point.
He's making more than an average NBA player.
Than an athlete, than an actual mainstream. Somebody went to college for this shit.
Mainstream on television you know every
night of the week professional athlete at this point he bought a mustang he bought a harley
fuck yeah he bought a big jeep that he did all up like it uh he bought a mclaren and i slow down
junior yeah back up you don't need that car he had those before he had a license which is amazing
he just bought a bunch of cars i don't have a little
bow wow yeah i don't know i'm just gonna buy all this shit license i gotta get one of those
they look cool in the driveway for now uh but he had all sorts of famous friends he was hanging out
with all like movie stars and musicians and shit because he was famous too he lived in la
everybody knew who he was he was cool uh he says, I was just a teenager, but I was living the full rock star life.
I could have anything I wanted, do whatever I wanted.
Girls, cars, clubs, drugs.
He was living the dream.
He meets a lady in 1987 that he'll have a relationship with.
It is the daughter of Lou Rawls, the singer.
What?
Luanna Rawls.
He's dating Lou Rawls' daughter? He's dating Lou Rawls' daughter?
He's dating Lou Rawls' daughter.
They met in a club in 1987.
She said she didn't know who he was,
but she knew he was somebody when he walked in.
Yeah.
That's the vibe he had.
Okay.
She said, quote,
when he walked into the room,
the room stopped.
It had nothing to do with skateboarding.
He was a hot, charismatic guy.
Fucking Lou Rawls' daughter is impressed with his charisma?
Walks in the door.
Fucking record scratch.
Everybody looks.
Lou Rawls stops playing?
That's it.
Right off of there.
Who the fuck is that?
So they meet this night and they start a relationship together.
They live in a house.
They buy a house.
He buys a house in Echo park that was the former house of
wc fields what so this is oh he's he's moving into an old hollywood mansion he's doing it real
that's insane like that's he's literally old hollywood mansion like people i'm sure like
girls were like young starlets were drugged killed and buried here shipped out and put out in the
pacific from
this very house you know that's what they used to do back then we know the black dahlia was
sectioned up here it's a bring in more starlets please you know that's it that's the the mill
it's just fucking bananas like and a guy like this uh that's been smoking weed for a long time
and partying just probably just assumes this lifestyle is just going to always be there.
It's always, ever since he can remember,
it's been doing great.
For me, I'd walk in that house and go,
can you fucking believe this?
This is crazy.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
He's just been good since he was,
he can remember he had a big half pipe
constructed in the backyard of his Echo Park mansion
that W.C. Fields used to live in
while he goes out with Lou Rawls' daughter
and cashes big fat fucking checks.
Grace. This. Grace.
This is Grace.
Come on.
It does not get.
Unbelievable.
It does not get any better than what's going on right here.
There's no way to get higher than this.
It is fucking Grace right here.
Without a doubt.
Grace at 20.
Lou Rawls is signing off on his daughter blowing you.
Oh, yeah.
This is unbelievable.
Either way, she's doing it.
Yeah.
Whether he likes it or not it's happening so yeah uh so uh they talk basically they they knew we they started talking based on mutual musical likes and then it went from there and
art stuff too because she knew art and he knew art stuff because of his dad and that's how uh how it went uh apparently she's uh very forward yeah and he says that some of his
friends didn't understand what why he liked her and he said that she had her own opinions and
challenged him and always spoke her mind and they you know they fuck you like that said they had a
lot in common they liked fashion and they like to go out and dance and shit like that.
She's like his mom.
Yeah, well, that's kind of what it is.
He says, quote, people love us separately, but they love us even more when we're together.
So they became kind of a unit like that.
Yeah, well, I don't know if it's healthy for him here.
So, yeah, he says it was just it was crazy.
So, yeah, he says it was crazy. He said people would invite him to parties and try to lure him there because that would get other people to come there.
And so they would give him drugs and shit like that and give him stuff to go to parties.
It would be like the gift bags they give these people to go to award shows.
Because you need that star power at your party.
That's what it is.
And he was cool.
And people go, oh, shit, Christian DeSoy is going to to be there and they'd go uh he was always fighting with luanna
lou rawls's daughter here always fighting uh he said that he at one point he told her he wanted
an open relationship and she obviously was not okay with that she said get the fuck out of here
tell lou rawls daughter that no and so she apparently uh you know broke up with him
and then eddie murphy moved in on her that's what he said he was not happy about that
he said his friend tells me that eddie had sent luana a bouquet of flowers the size of a volkswagen
on top of that he gave her a twenty thousand dollar rolex yeah luana still had some things
of hers at my house and when she came to get them uh he said he made her make a decision of who who are you going to be with yeah and she's
he said that she chose him so add to that that should have been grace right there yeah when
you're shook grace when you're chosen over beverly hills cop at this point who was the most famous
guy in the world eddie murphy at this point i mean jesus christ raw just came out right he is on top of the world right now everybody knows him oh he's
on top of the world she went with him yeah that's the thing and uh it's funny like you said you said
that uh just like his mom because he says that having luana at my side gives me the sense of
structure that i never had before the same thing as his mom this is exactly what his dad did with
his mom i don't spend all my time trying to hustle girls any longer he said i was faithful for a
while and uh for a little while yeah and uh that's how that would go and then so they'd go out she'd
do her thing during the day she had modeling shit and do music videos and he would do his skating
then they go out together at night and he said said it was it was, you know, they were a good couple together.
She thinks a little differently of the situation.
She has a different.
She has a different take on it.
Maybe he was a little clouded by shit.
He just remembered it to be sort of a nice time.
It was great.
She says, quote, Christian was really out of it much of the time. And he was always going out on me.
I was getting out of the shower once when this girl knocks on my front door
saying she's looking for Christian.
I ask, who are you?
And she replies, I'm so-and-so,
the girl Christian has been living with
for the past two weeks.
I turn away and say, Christian, it's for you.
Then I fade into the other room
as they have a big fight.
After that, I return and Christian and I
have a blowout of our own.
It wasn't just that one time either.
While he was living with me,
one time I called a girl's number trying to reach him and her voicemail said hi christian and i aren't
available right now jesus christ holy shit man that's that's fucking amazing that that's a
relationship that's she sure thinks so you don't put your lives there you don't put his name on the fucking voicemail it's an actual like living situation never mind anything else christian and
i aren't available christ he says aren't available wow she says quote i'd give him money to eat at
taco bell or wherever and he wouldn't come home for a week man that shit's stretch wow i remember
taco bell being cheap but that's cheap that's real at a week. Man, that shit's stretched. Wow. I remember Toggleville being cheap, but that's cheap.
That's real.
He was with a different girl every night.
Well, maybe not every night, but close.
He was running the streets, running from the law,
but most of all, he was running from himself.
I didn't realize that until I got into recovery.
We were good together two and a half years, but it was rarely good.
Or we were together two and a half years, but it was rarely good.
So he remembers I'd skate. She'd go do her work at night we'd go out together everything's
great she remembers he was never there living with other women at the time that they were literally
fucking a different woman every day yeah that's that's the thing but he was very generous with
all of the other skaters and all the younger skaters anybody less successful than him he had basically they said he would go to hawaii or to rio yeah uh to skate and do things and he'd take
six seven skaters with him what and pay for it all pay for their flights pay for their every bit of
food that's ridiculous you just pay for them to try to help them out you know he's christian this
ain't lasting forever bud yeah one of his friends says or this is luanna actually uh luanna she says quote we would go out to get sushi and there would
be this posse of 15 boys around us and christian would pay for everyone god jesus so that is
unsustainable idiot that's crazy uh they talk about one time he's in hawaii and he he always
would rent a white lincoln town car every town he went to. That was his signature.
It's Boss Hogg. It's pretty cool still. It's his thing if you do it consistently.
Yeah, and he said that
he was driving
a white Caddy or a Lincoln.
It was one of those.
Either way, it's a white long car.
A big long white car. Yeah, exactly.
Jesus Christ.
Basically, he would say he would hang out
with the skaters and he would say you know we're all gonna go out later you guys come in and they'd
say they have no money and then he would basically uh slip kids money shit like that he'd be like
here why don't you guys take this for food and beer and shit and like you know whatever like he
would he was always hooking up the other skaters and shit like that, which is cool. It made him a very good reputation with people.
They all liked him.
And he was doing really, really well here.
The problem is this is when skating changes.
All through this time, you could go somewhere, do a skating demonstration where you'd ride a half pipe for 20 minutes, and someone would give you five grand.
And now, in the late 80s it's
kind of everything changes that vert shit goes away vert ramps aren't as much of a thing anymore
because street skating comes in right because there's nowhere to skate otherwise if you don't
have a fucking half pipe right and you don't have a pool how am i going to do that i'm from new york
there's not a lot of in-ground pools they're above ground you can't skate those they're made of plastic and in the winter time they're fucking winterized and in
above ground pool in new york if you in california they're common above ground pool in new york that
fucking guy those people really wanted to have that pool it cost them way more than it should
have they will murder you yeah if you fuck with their pool it's a different thing and there's no
it's not as much half pipes i think because of the weather the you know it's not gonna last through winter it's gonna be all messed up
so like i know back east we had to street skate that's all we had so we street skated and then
it became in california the skate parks were closed most of them and they hadn't and if you
were a poor kid and you didn't have a pool and you didn't have a ramp you started street skating too
so that's what we wanted i remember when i started skating it was right when this happened because
it was we all were street skating but the only there wasn't a lot of street boards available
all the boards that you could get were were ramp boards they were all tony hawk mike mcgill christian
assoy boards so i had a mike mcgill which is a hardcore ramp board with huge concave and a big
fucking tail and all this shit
total vert ramp board but we're skating on the street with it because that's all we
you got to try to push that shit down the street every day that was the thing so it was you know
and then later on street became more popular and they put out more like kind of street boards and
all that sort of shit but that's the that's what was different here is that changed everything that
changed the coverage uh that changed everything. That changed the coverage.
That changed now.
Instead of the pictures all being guys in the air off of a ramp, they were a guy grinding on a handrail and shit like that.
The videos of the fisheye lens with the music and the guys, that's when this all happened.
And it made the ramp guys seem like dinosaurs.
They were like kind of old farty.
Good for you guys.
Yeah.
And they weren't like,
they didn't,
if you didn't kind of take that next step and do something different,
if you were just a straight ramp guy,
you'd be like true crime podcasts
are going to be in a couple years.
There's so many straight ones
and most of them are going to fall by the wayside
because you're riding a boom. whereas we take it and we go well let's make let's kind of
satire true crime sort of so that way when it becomes not cool we were already making fun of
it and hopefully we stick around that's the point right yeah we were already making fun of it and
we're like hey we've been making fun of this shit for years we've been saying stop taking yourself
so fucking seriously for years and it makes us kind of that's what we're that's how we position ourselves basically that's what
we are trying to street skate this exactly we're we're trying to learn we're trying to learn street
skating basically as a lot of guys did some of the guys do went from ramp to street really danny way
was a great uh i remember great great uh ramp skater went to street was a great street skater just no
problem like uh footage of mark gonzalez of gator trying to skate street was painful yeah it was
fucking painful it looked like i looked like kids that i knew when i was 12 it was awful so they
they would pick up basically they still had they still had uh sponsorship deals these vert ramp
guys they still had you know there'd still be demos and shit,
but they weren't near the money they were making.
Tony Hawk called it, quote, just eking it out at this point.
Tony Hawk was?
Tony Hawk was, too.
All the guys were.
There was no money for anybody.
It was just nobody cared to watch guys skate on ramps anymore.
How about that?
Yeah, he said, just eking it out.
In the early 90s i spent a week
in dallas doing three demos a day at six flags for a hundred bucks a day wow he's working like
a fucking middle comedian yeah like a middle income three demos a day in dallas to make 300
bucks in that hot ass oh boy to make 100 100 bucks a day not per demo oh my god 30 bucks a demo 33 a demo oh my god in the hot dallas sun
jesus that's amazing and you'd be praying that somebody from a book depository shoots you
and that's tony hawk yeah so he's the most famous right so what do you think everyone else is living
like they're not even making 100 bucks because tony hawk can draw people tony's making what let's go to tower jesus never mind oh fuck can we get 50 so he said quote that could be
discouraging if you're used to making thousands for one appearance which shit yeah that's as we've
seen many comedians go from here to here and they don't take it well it hurts christian says that
he was fine with this whole thing he said it wasn't a big deal he's very
kind of mellow about this shit very very hawaii very hawaii that's i mean i don't know if he picked
this up from his dad or if it's just if you smoke weed from the time you're 10 you're pretty mellow
that could probably be it too pretty chilled out you're real mellow i think here he said quote i've
never been someone who dwells on the past i could skate anywhere if street skating was it then i could skate on the street uh but he said that's fine but the problem is none of the new all the new board companies
like h street and ones like that because that's the one i remember i had a street board that was
h street and uh world industries and all those they were all hassoy and those guys they were
considered the old time they were trying to do the new thing, so they didn't want him.
Even if he wanted a straight skate street, they were like, we don't want you.
Not interested.
You're going to not sell our board.
Yeah, that's the thing.
1991, he breaks up with Rawls' daughter here.
And so there's that.
His sponsorship money is drying up.
Everything is going wrong.
He has to move out of the W.C. Fields house.
Oh, no.
Where does he move?
Back home.
Back with his mom.
No.
So you have gone.
Oh, Jesus.
Not great.
No.
And just a matter of a few years.
And it's literally just the market around you changing.
Shit.
He didn't become less good of a skater.
No, he just kept True Crime podcasting.
He just kept doing it.
He just go.
And then he cut her head off. And then he cut her head off. And then he cut her head off and then he cut her head off and then he cut her head off and people got
fucking tired of it yeah that's it he had no he had no swerve in his game apparently unbelievable
and he was really just a just a victim of circumstance really if you think about it
because i mean guys like him and tony hawk still great yeah nobody gave a shit anymore
and uh he said his his dad had been making most of his business decisions.
Really?
Which was not great.
His dad would tell him, are you going to spend all this money?
You're going to save some of it.
Sometimes you got to spend it.
And his dad, he'd be like, I want to spend all this.
His dad would go, all right, just so you know, though, later on, don't come to me saying
you didn't have your money because you spent it rather than saying, no, take this and put it aside.
What's wrong with you?
You're going to go to Rio with how many people?
What the fuck are you doing?
His dad offered.
See, that's what I mean.
Cool parent to cool parent.
He offered no guidance.
It's one thing to not force the kid to do whatever, but it's the other thing to try
to guide them in the right direction of, hey, maybe try to save a third of what you're making
or save half of what you're making if you're making a good amount of money or you know whatever uh doesn't quite work
though his father says quote most corporates would have paperwork but we weren't into that
it's not something you're into it sounds like a problem it's like you weren't into it bro like
wasn't i try rolled some weed up in some paperwork and smoked it, but it just wasn't that good. My paperwork's real tight.
I rolled my paperwork tight, man.
Bruh.
Jesus Christ.
Paperwork?
Fuck yeah.
I'm so good at it.
I'm fucking good at paperwork.
Hit this shit.
You tell me.
Take this out.
That's good paperwork.
See if it's loose.
It's tight.
Tight.
He said, we didn't have contracts.
We didn't want to create this paperwork lawyer thing
this is a sport that's done underground the fuck are you talking about corporation is a paperwork
lawyer thing whether you like it or not when you have cars and houses that a man by his initials
used to own you have paperwork that's that's the fucking thing man man. You have to have paperwork. A man so rich he didn't have time for a first name.
That's who owned this first.
You have paperwork.
People who are cool and rock stars, they have corporations.
They keep their business shit together.
They still have to pay taxes and bills and things.
Wow.
Even if they wear crazy makeup on stage they still have to go off
stage gene simmons is the most cold-blooded businessman there is regardless of his fucking
persona he's an asshole too he's a douche but still yeah you know business-wise that's what
i'm saying so uh now he's uh basically down to making a couple thousand bucks a month and that's
if he goes like overseas because it's overseas it's still big oh my god so like he can go to japan and make a few bucks but he has to go to
japan to do it oh that's horrible and he's very popular in japan because he's japanese which
helps and you know makes him uh one of his friends said quote it killed him he was such
he was such the man and it was hard for him to admit that he wasn't anymore yeah which i would
imagine it would be.
And another thing that puts all into this is this whole time he's doing a fuckload of drugs.
Oh, no.
Just a fuckload of drugs.
Just a lot.
You think Lou Rawls' daughter wasn't fucking doing lines off the back of a toilet?
Come on.
Her last name is Rawls, for Christ's sake.
Something bad happened here.
But this was bad.
He says that it wasn't drug abuse, but it really wasn't drug abuse.
That's the thing.
This happened whether he could have been clean and sober and riding the ramp 12 hours a day.
Yeah.
Nobody wanted what he was selling anymore.
He's got hamburgers.
Everybody decide they don't like hamburgers anymore.
Tacos today.
What are you supposed to do?
You have hamburgers.
So chicken tacos are the shit.
That's what happened. But the drugs really got out of hand here. What are you supposed to do? You have hamburgers. Chicken tacos are the shit.
That's what happened.
But the drugs really got out of hand here.
First, it was just obviously his weed.
He never was a drinker, really.
No.
No, he got into ecstasy.
And we did acid and mescaline and mushrooms.
Not a beer?
Just whatever.
Calm down, man.
I don't like it either.
That's the thing.
It's a weird feeling.
But then, after Coke, he started getting into his drug of choice, crystal meth.
Yeah.
Which is where you want to be.
Yeah.
Really where you want to be here.
Yeah.
He said that when he was on crystal meth, just skating seemed effortless to him.
He loved it. He was real into crystal meth.
seemed effortless to him he loved it he was real into crystal meth yeah uh 93 he moves uh he moves again out of his mom's house and uh and basically he just moves to be closer to his friends where
the drugs are his one friend said quote he could have progressed as a street skater he was doing
handrails stairs but it killed him so bad being out of the magazines then he moved out of the
neighborhood and we couldn't keep tabs on him if we had known he wasn't skating we would have killed him so he basically stopped skating
and started doing drugs he got frustrated trying to skate street and not being the star that he was
just another guy decent at skating street but not holy shit no one everybody doesn't stop to watch
him and shit like that so that feeling is he needs the x game so bad yeah well that's really
gonna come up here big time here uh so uh he says that his drug use accelerated hard in 94 95 oh boy
he said that he went from snorting speed to smoking it oh no so not good he said quote coke
was out speed was in i was partying and going to clubs doing a bunch of meth and ecstasy i was flying and
you know i was never afraid of flying high we know so yeah he's a fucking mess right now tony hawk
says quote we were all so young making a lot of money being rock stars you don't think it's going
to end but when the sport took a dip a lot of guys couldn't handle it i didn't fall into the trap of
celebrity and partying and burning out so when things turned back around, I was
one of the only guys from that generation still
skating hard. Good for you, you fucking nerd.
Yeah. My dad
said it was bad for me. My dad said not to do
drugs so I just stayed in his house and
waited for it to come back again and then my dad
let me out and gave me this haircut.
Come on, son. Sit
down. It's time for another haircut.
He still has to go to his dad's house
to get haircuts oh man he sits him down in the kitchen come on dad one more i'm sorry it's
coming back the hair this is gonna be fucking say that quote again i fucking hate him now
which one the uh oh uh i didn't fall into the trap of celebrity and partying and burning out
so when things turned back around i was one of the only guys from that generation still skating hard.
You can now buy my shirts at Kohl's.
Yeah, you can buy my shirts at Kohl's.
Fuck you, Tony.
I'm cool.
Everybody's six-year-old has my shit and they don't even know who I am or why I'm famous.
I love that.
Can you not fucking just buy into everything corporate at some point in your life?
You know what I mean?
Nice Jordan shoes and Tony Hawk shirt. Who are either one of those people really awesome tell me who either one of
those are you don't have any fucking idea great that's terrific that's what i thought dickhead
my mom says one day i can play the tony hawk game on playstation yeah i don't know yeah fuck you
who's forever who's tony hawk he's a guy who makes video games. Exactly.
Exactly.
Who?
The shirts at Kohl's.
That's who he is.
He's the guy who makes video games.
Fuck you, Porter.
Kind of like John Madden.
Yeah.
They don't know who he is either.
So, Jesus Christ.
God damn it, Connor.
God damn it, you little fucking.
Damn it, Tucker.
That's enough of that shit, Tucker.
You haven't earned that shirt. God damn it tucker i told that's enough of that shit tucker so you haven't earned that shirt god damn it christian at this point stop shaving grows a beard grows his hair long yeah uh gets a
bunch of piercings uh he's depressed basically yeah he's hiding behind a kucherman at this point
he said this is the first time in his life he had to buy a pair of shoes that
he can ever remember oh my god he's been getting free shoes since he was 10 i gotta go mom my shoe
i got a hole in my shoe well then go buy i gotta do huh i thought i could just tell the guy and
he sends me more i don't know no they don't just okay that phone number doesn't exist it's been
disconnected yeah so uh he he had to buy a pair of shoes 1995 1995, the ESPN decides, why don't we do this X Games thing and put it on the air?
Okay.
And at this point, skating was dead.
Deader than fucking dog shit.
I can't describe.
Now it's a big deal.
The ramp, everybody watches it.
We can't describe to you.
Everything that was popular in the 80s was dead in 1995.
Stand-up comedy was dead in 1995
deader than it was like the uncoolest thing you could do to do stand-up it's like you're doing
stand-up jesus christ where's your sport coat right it was the worst so skating was fucking
dead as a doornail even kids who skated were like that's lame now and shit like that so uh anyway they they're
looking for a way this was the time when in 95 everything was x yeah xx extreme it's extreme
it's extreme that ecw wrestling extreme championship all this everything was extreme
they were looking to tap into the teen market that how do we get into that gen x thing and all that
shit so they uh they were like the uh Mountain Dew was looking for a way, literally, for something to sponsor to reach the kids.
And they created the Extreme Games here.
They've created it as a showcase of alternative sports, BMX, inline skating, rock climbing, and skateboarding.
That was what it was supposed to be.
How fast did the rock climbing fall out of that shit?
That's not an extra.
No one's like, hey, bro, we're going to go rip a fucking rock, man.
Nobody says that.
No one ever said that.
Rock climbing was never cool.
So dumb.
It was never like a cool, sweet thing to do.
Because you can't get super stoned and do that.
You'll die.
That's the thing.
Everything else there, inline skating, BMX, you could do that stone. The rollerblading eventually thing everything else there skate inline skating bmx you could do
that stone the rollerblading eventually falls out of there too thank god but it's so much
fucking more badass than somebody climbing the side of a rock face that's stupid you need to
the x games are about sports you can hurt yourself yeah you need to be stoned to be good at sports
and that doesn't fit into it. No.
Something you listen to Nirvana while you do it.
Yes.
Nobody listens to Nirvana and climbs a rock face.
They don't at all.
No.
I've got to concentrate.
Stop that.
I'm going to die.
Jesus Christ.
So this, honestly, I remember this, and in this article they talk about it, and I remember this because I was 16, 17 happened and i remember thinking fucking lame that's bullshit it's gonna be fucking all polished and shitty
right and then they said they were only doing it was gonna be just big vert ramps and we're like
well who the fuck wants to watch that i want to see guys street skate but television is made
vert ramps fit great half pipes fit wonderful on a television great shot it's like a football field it's made for television it's the shape of it everything is absolutely perfect
whereas street skating is not made for television because you have to follow someone to get their
whole yeah to get the the the it's almost like the copacabana goodfellow shot you need to get the
thing of what they're doing otherwise it's just a guy did a trick and then you cut to another trick
so a lot of the people
a lot of the kids were like ah fuck this thing anyway but uh they were going with it and they
were looking for uh they they said it fits on tv better we're doing ramp symmetrical as fuck
absolutely which was which was great for all this all these vert guys who've been waiting for this
opportunity now 1995 all this is all going on christ Christian is in his McLaren and gets pulled over for a traffic stop.
Oh, no.
And they search him and find a meth pipe in his glove compartment.
What an idiot.
So he's arrested and charged with possession of drug paraphernalia.
Gets bailed out of jail.
He's facing possibly 30 days in jail if convicted.
That's the max here.
He doesn't show up for his hearing.
What a dipshit.
Like a fucking idiot. lord uh yes uh his friend said about him quote christian was scared to death of
going to jail well yeah so go clear it up it's 30 days you dummy clear it up you got a better chance
if you show up and try to clear it up uh so the judge issues a bench warrant for his arrest and
at that point he's facing a potentially longer sentence now for skipping out on his date too
and so now he basically starts hiding he he couldn't he wouldn't go to skate contests because
he was afraid he couldn't put himself on a poster because he'd get arrested right so he was afraid
he would do demos but he would only do them outside the u.s he'd go over to japan and make
they're not going to go to Japan to arrest him,
and extra-dite him over a meth pipe.
So that's not going to happen. But if he's in Encinita or something.
Ontario.
Yeah, doing a goddamn, they're going to go get him.
So he goes to Japan and does all that.
He said over there, steady supply of meth in Japan.
Really? A lot of meth in Japan. Really?
A lot of speed in Japan.
Well, that society runs on it.
Are you kidding me?
I guess that makes sense.
Look at the, yeah.
It's all achieve, achieve, achieve, achieve, achieve.
It's all on meth.
Eight-year-old that's working 19 hours a day.
Yeah.
Right.
Every decade that we have that's like this, we're going to go.
It's all because everyone's on coke.
Yeah.
That's what happens.
You know?
Yeah.
In the 50s, everyone was all doing shit because all the housewives were on coke right
they're all on coke and the guys were drunk so they'll do anything it didn't matter in the 80s
go go everyone's on coke of course they're going fast right spinning around in circles they're all
coked out of their minds so that's what japan is a giant america in the 80s that's i feel like that
whole country so uh he said at this point, he's not really skating anymore,
so he just kept smoking meth, smoking more meth.
One of his friends here said, quote,
he would have four strippers come over.
That's a bad start right there.
He would have four strippers.
That's excessive.
You don't need four strippers.
You don't need one, but you really don't need four. You can't. You have three, four strippers.'s excessive you don't need four stripper you don't need one but you really don't need four you can't you have three four strippers sir you have one penis
that's like the those the the cartel people at the comedy club that's why i said three four yeah
i was that they don't know about this it's an inside joke i was open for a guy at a comedy
club and there was these mexican cartel guys there that went to the club all the time they were known cartel guys they would literally scorpions all
over oh yeah yeah no they had they would show you they'd tell you who they were they were slipping
hundreds in everybody's pocket he'd give the manager 100 bucks for giving for sitting them
down right what the fuck they would ask for a bottle of louis the 13th they were like that'll
be like 15 grand they're like i didn't fucking ask how much it was. I said, can you put it on my table?
But they said it in Spanish.
Yeah.
So these guys took a liking to me.
Me and the headliner.
They hated the middle guy a lot.
They wouldn't even talk to him.
They literally turned away from him while he was on stage and started talking to each other.
It was amazing.
And they were so scary.
This dude didn't say shit about it.
They just let it happen.
And this is like an accomplished, a good comic that would normally be like,
what the fuck is your problem?
He wasn't saying shit.
He wrote some of the best.
Nope.
No, thank you.
So afterwards, these guys confront, not confront, they corner both me and the headliner,
and they ask the headliner, eventually ask him if he would want to sell Coke for them.
Since he's got a lot of friends in la a
lot of showbiz people i bet they do a lot of coke you guys maybe sell coke and they start like
numbers like we'll give you a brick of raw for 25 you take it here you can sell it for 100 even if
you sell it wholesale it's still going to be 100 that's 75 right in your pocket all you have to do
is shop from here to here so then they get to me and they want to party with me. And they're like, come on. He goes, come on, we'll do some coke.
He goes, that'll get you five, six girls.
I go, five, six girls?
That was their pitch to hang out.
We'll get you some coke, which I don't want.
And five, six girls.
I remember I literally stopped and I went, five, six girls?
Yeah, five, six girls will get you.
Yeah, it'll be all over you.
It'll be great. And I go, that's a lot I don't need sounds terrible so much yeah that sounds terrible
I'd have to talk to all these girls I'd have to know I did just five people I have to talk to
you crazy maybe six maybe six this is a nightmare
this is a fucking terrible terrible thing and then i said
five six girls i said joking around to him because i knew obviously i said gee what do
you guys do for a living i joke around he goes we sell cars dead serious
and i went all right and then he smiled and like did his jacket thing and he walked away. I was like, this is amazing.
I sell cars.
We sell cars.
Five, six girls.
Clearly.
Good girls.
Cars full of girls.
Usually the car salesman is selling fucking Fiat's.
He's got five, six girls.
Five, six girls in the trunk.
He doesn't have five, six girls numbers in his phone.
No.
Including his aunts, his wives.
This guy did.
He owned five, six six girls i feel like
so uh this friend said he'd have four strippers come over party with them and do more speed
and before we knew it the scene extinguished what christian asoi had been yeah so the x games come
and the x games uh they they the producers they have to pick kind of what because all these things
any sports thing they still have to pick storylines of what they're going to push.
Is it going to be this, if it's a tennis tournament, is it going to be Serena Williams or this whatever Eastern European broad, which one of these are going to fucking win?
So they pick their two people, Tony Hawk, obviously, and Christian Assoy.
Really?
That's the rivalry.
Wow.
That's going to be the rivalry.
That's the drama.
We're going to do interviews. That's going to be the rivalry. That's the drama. We're going to do interviews.
We're going to make this up.
They've been rivals since they were fucking 12 lucky since 1980.
And it's come to this mainstream stage on television.
It's going to play itself out.
It's a fucking great story.
It really is, too.
They were dispatched.
They sent a crew out to get footage of them.
Interviews with both of them about a big profiles about about them, like a pre-boxing HBO thing.
They were doing it like it's the Olympics.
Christian talking shit, Tony complimenting him.
They were complimenting each other.
Christian's very complimentary of everybody.
He's not a shit talker.
He's real Buddhist like that, totally.
You figure meth will rewire a brain.
It's weird.
It doesn't.
How does that is?
He's like a Buddhist womanizer. you know how that goes so uh perfect so yeah this was the perfect
thing this was in newport rhode island the x games was going to be this was fucking incredible
tony hawk says quote we knew this was going to be big for all of us this is tony hawk before this
is doing demos three for a hundred bucks think about that he's so rich
now you can't walk oh god you can't go anywhere without seeing his clothes his games he's huge
at this point hundred dollars right for three fucking demos we're talking this is huge he says
tony hawk quote it was televised so even if the actual competition was going to be lame there was
huge prize money and exposure but then christian said he wasn't going to go oh so this is his big chance he's been
waiting his whole life for uh he just didn't say why he wasn't going to go but he said he wasn't
going to go what told tony he's not going to go well he's not going to go because he knows he's
wanted and if he knows he shows up at the x games in a highly publicized tv appearance they're probably going to arrest him yeah he knows that uh so he says that uh you know he just doesn't go the x games
happen tony hawk becomes a household name that that week it took him a week he became a household
name at the end the announcers called him the michael jordan of skateboarding wow he was a huge
star everybody he was literally made him a national star overnight and uh uh they
were talking about his skateboarding gear company uh throughout the late 90s here's tony hawk
started making 50 million a year a year a year through this uh his autobiography is a bestseller
his video games are the top video games there are video game on tony hawk says quote
christian should have been there he would have been the star of the x games and he could have
ridden this wave with me especially if he got arrested there's nothing more punk rock that's
what i mean at your job that's what i'm saying if he showed up skated a couple things amazing
and then said he can't participate because he was dragged out of here by fucking bounty hunters
that's awesome he would have been the biggest thing in the world.
And he's amazing.
Oh, shit.
His other friend here says, quote, Christian should have been the rock star of the X Games.
If he had been there, he would have become a media star and would be making millions of dollars today.
Literally, that was his chance.
And Tony Hawk was there and took it.
And he didn't.
And I mean, at the time, it probably didn't seem like that was big of a deal wow but it was literally the difference between being a billionaire and
not being and being living with your mom how scared are you of 30 days in jail you know
even if it's 50 show up man they double it two months who cares it's worth it you're gonna get
arrested at your job it's i want that so bad that's what i mean everyone knows who he is and uh yeah he says that uh
basically jesus christ one of the guys the the announcer uh who was a x games announcer he said
dude as far as i'm concerned every dollar that tony hawk has made is really christian's money
yeah he said that he would that he if he was on that with tony hawk tony hawk wouldn't have even
been he wouldn't have gotten noticed basically he, basically. He would have been a big star, but Hosoi would have been the star.
Because he's so much more charismatic and so much more of a showman that everybody would have loved.
They just latched on to Tony Hawk because he was the best one.
But Hosoi, he would have been more than Tony Hawk.
And I believe that, too.
People would have saw him and went, holy shit, that dude's fucking awesome.
Every kid named Payson's wearing a Hosoi shirt instead of a Hawk.
Yeah, that's what it was.
That's what it would have been.
So 1999, he gets a sponsored deal with shoes from a Japanese company.
Yeah.
Because he's not, through the late 90s, he's dodging court appearances.
He gets arrested for possession charges a couple more times in the late 90s.
What the fuck, man?
Dodges all court appearances through this whole thing.
So all he's doing is skating in japan
he's doing tons of meth he's a fucking mess he's a mess uh but he gets in japan he can still do
business so there's that so he's got that going on 2000 now january 26 2000 so it's at this point
he talks about the fact that he's been for years now snorting and smoking and even shooting meth on a daily basis.
This is his thing here.
He said that he he just he loved it.
He said everything about it was addicting for him.
The whole process of it.
He just really liked meth.
And he said basically that he was trying to he thought about like, I know I got to quit this eventually.
Like, he's like, obviously, I'm not going to do meth forever.
You know, that's not going to do that.
But, you know, he said, but it was still something he was into at the time.
And at this point, he says a guy he knows in L.A. is basically asked him if he would bring some some meth to Hawaii because he knew he was going to Hawaii.
So he's like, hey, tell you what. asked him if he would bring some meth to Hawaii because he knew he was going to Hawaii.
So he's like, hey, tell you what.
Here's like a pound and a half of meth.
Yeah.
He said, well, you take that with you.
We'll get you four or five girls.
Let's get you four or five girls,
two, five, six girls, some coke.
So he says, sure, I'll do that. Oh, boy.
And he says, you know, no problem.
He says he's flown all over the world.
He's never been fucked with ever.
So he says, you know, why not? What the hell? You know, this is a good thing. So he says, you know, no problem. He says he's flown all over the world. He's never been fucked with ever. So he says, you know, why not?
What the hell?
You know, this is this is a good thing.
So he says, you know, he tried it out for as he puts it for quality control purposes,
of course, you know, he wanted to try run.
Oh, to try to try the meth.
Oh, boy.
You know, he said so he's delivering it.
So that's that's OK for him to do that sort of deal here.
So he flies over to Hawaii.
It's on a United flight.
He lands.
He gets there.
And he said the whole time he's been real nervous and sweaty.
He said before he took off, he ate some McDonald's at the airport, and he was just getting real
sweaty and just getting all sorts of...
Like a guy that doesn't smuggle drugs would do?
Yeah.
Or like a guy who's on meth and needs more would do.
Either one.
One of those things.
Or both.
Or both.
So yeah, basically the whole thing is he looks shady the whole time but he flies there he's got
a skateboard that he carries on and everything like that so he flies to hawaii he gets there
he gets to the baggage carousel where he's waiting for his his uh you know his check baggage no no
he's got the meth on him he's got the meth on him um and uh he says uh
the police come up to him the airport cops come up and they ask him you know so sir where'd you
travel from today and he says well what's going on and they said quote i have a suspicion you're
carrying narcotics i want to see your id oh boy so he goes okay this is bad he goes i don't know
where you get that idea you can search my bags if you'd like that's what he said like i don't know he was being like i don't know what you mean yeah i'm an upstanding citizen this is bad. He goes, I don't know where you get that idea. You can search my bags if you'd like. That's what he said.
Like, I don't know.
He was being like, I don't know what you mean.
I'm an upstanding citizen.
This is preposterous.
Yeah, this is here.
You can search these if you want to really treat me like riffraff.
Fucking Pac-Man comes in.
He's like, I brought in.
I had an arugula sandwich on the plane.
Okay, it was delicious.
Now I'm feeling good.
I'm feeling nutrition, vitamins. Flowing vitamins flowing through me flowing through my system and now you people are telling
me i have drugs and this is ridiculous all i have is arugula obviously that's all i travel with
so uh they said quote actually we need to search you oh no so interesting uh he says no that's
illegal you don't have any reason to search me.
So he says, as he's talking, as he's talking to this guy, he said he's scanning the area for some place to run and dump this shit. Yeah.
So he says he's looking along the sidewalk when he sees a couple guys watching him.
And then he looks off to the side and he notices two more guys watching him.
So he's like, oh, this is a fucking planned thing.
They're all watching me.
This isn't great.
He looks around.
He says it's all chain link fences around here.
I can't run.
People, you know, he said that there's got to be some way out of this.
What do I do?
What do I do?
So he says, all right, maybe I'll just talk my way out of it.
If only he was a great straight skater.
He could street skate his way out of this.
Hop on.
He could ollie over the chain link fence and be out of here.
They'd be like, whoa.
That was amazing, man. So it's of here they'd be like whoa that was amazing man so uh
it's hawaii they'd be amazed by it so he says that maybe he could uh you know he says i'm gonna
besides he's gonna put his innocent face on as he puts it and lie you know lie here he says uh you
know i'm they said what are you here in hawaii for and he's like oh you know i've used to live
here and i have friends i skate and all this shit see my board see look at that that's me on there look
what i do look what i do uh they said but he says uh the cop just says i'm gonna go get the dog
that's what he says so he says he's trying to call his love he says yeah go get the dog which
generally they'll just go get the dog they won't go never mind he says it's cool so uh yeah
apparently the dog gets there circles around and the dog doesn't do anything he says
that he notices but i guess he gives the cop some sort of signal that you know whatever so they said
that he has to go inside and uh yeah they they end up looking down he's basically got it in his uh
he's got it like under his pants basically he's got baggy pants on yeah so they they get it and
he says oh look what we found
and then read him his rights and they said to him do you know how much trouble you're in right now
and uh so he was like jesus christ he says i don't think i'll do much time he says people get six
years for murder four for manslaughter he's like i got no felonies this is easy i'll get probation
i'll be on the street you know this is no problem i'll be i'll just get probation he says i'm not
gonna rat on somebody.
That's not what I'm going to do.
So he says, all of a sudden, they turn this into an interrogation and the cops start saying, you're going to tell us where you're taking this meth.
You're going to tell us who you got it from, who you're working for, all that kind of shit.
And he says he doesn't answer.
And he says then they were like, you know, they were they were being a little rough with him, telling him to, you know, that he was that he you know, he's obviously a courier here.
What's going on?
So he tells him he tells him some pool, some pool hall in Hawaii is where he's taking his lies and make something up.
And they said, who are you taking it to?
And he makes up a name, Brian, guy named Brian.
And they're like, yeah, that's not.
Yeah, you're not doing that.
Basically, you're full of shit. They keep telling him that he keeps saying, I's not uh yeah you're not doing that basically uh you you're
full of shit they keep telling him that he keeps saying i don't know what you're talking about
and the cop says i think you do know what i'm talking about the cop says you don't have to
worry about these people 98 of people who turn someone in don't ever suffer any retaliation
and he says well you know he goes you're not from la he goes maybe that's how it is here in hawaii
but in la it's a little more dangerous and i'm not. He goes, maybe that's how it is here in Hawaii, but in LA, it's a little more dangerous, and I'm not telling you shit, basically.
So that's how it ends up working,
and he's basically fucked here.
They interrogate him.
They say, you're going to fucking,
if you tell him, maybe you'll get less time,
but otherwise, you're going to get a shitload of time,
and they're doing all this shit.
It's a fucking pound and a half of meth.
It's a lot of meth.
It's a lot.
It's a lot of meth.
They're in a lot of trouble.
It's like the size of a good book, basically.
It's certainly a felony.
That is definitely for felony.
And he said, basically, his friends have been telling him he doesn't look so good and he
thought maybe that's what it was, but it turned out it was a big setup.
Of course.
It was a big setup.
Whoever gave him the meth was in trouble and got him. Yeah, that's how it was but turned out it was a big setup of course it was a big setup whoever gave him the meth was in trouble and got him yeah that's how it works here so he uh at this point
he's like jesus christ man this is uh great but the whole the problem was is the street value here
on the islands of this meth is sixty thousand dollars which is about four times what it was
in california damn it so he says his he says his take would have been about three grand.
Yeah.
So that's what he was doing it for, was three grand and free meth.
So yeah, he said he needed to because he didn't have any money.
He wasn't making shit.
He said it was a bad thing.
He says he'd never been bothered in an airport before,
so he didn't think it was a big deal
nobody ever messed with him uh so yeah he he looked like a meth head though if you saw the
picture from when he got he looked like a guy who was on a bunch of meth but uh it didn't matter
they didn't just look at him they they they knew yeah they knew what the fuck was going on here
so uh yeah it's so funny too he was trying to act like it was like no big deal like i'm just skating
yeah like picture that it's worse than ben cousins what do you mean in my butthole really again again It's so funny, too. He was trying to act like it was no big deal. Like, I'm just skating. Picture that.
It's worse than Ben Cousins.
What do you mean?
In my butthole?
Really?
Again?
Again?
Shit.
So, yeah, he has all this meth.
And he said he got to the holding tank.
And in Hawaii, everybody knew who he was.
And he said, so he got there.
And he said, people are cheering.
People are going, Christian Assoy, no way.
We saw you on the news last night. You're my idol, he said. people are cheering. People are going, Christian Assoy, no way. We saw you on the news last night.
You're my idol, he said.
Don't have me.
Yeah, people want his autograph, but the guards won't allow it.
Yeah, he's just like, this is so fucking weird.
He thought it was just the weirdest thing in the world to be, like, in a Hawaiian jail.
He says, one of the older guys, he once said he once saw me skate and he used to own one of my boards.
He says the guy seemed friendly enough.
So I asked him, what are you here for?
And the guy says, oh, murder.
And he says, when he asked what I'm in for, I tell him about my meth bust, expecting him to say, ah, you'll be fine.
Instead, he replies, oh, brah, you're looking at 10 years.
It's mandatory.
He says he's doing double life and will never be going home.
He says 10 years is a walk in the park.
Oh, you're fine. Are you out of your mind of your mind it's like huh 10 years of my life 10 10 what it's a what
he's sitting in a hawaiian holding cell at this point and you know people are coming in and out
to talk to him because he's he's you know well known yeah so this guy's got murderers coming in
he's got all this shit and then there's a knock on his cell door and it opens.
He's like, why are you knocking?
I'm in jail.
And it opens up and it's the Mexican pimp.
And he says.
How is it you've come to arrive here?
Why are you here?
Why?
I realize this is not Mexico.
Yeah.
It is Hawaii.
But same thing. You have four, five, six girls come over.
I don't understand. While you have
them there, why do you not sell them?
That seems like the solution.
You say you come over for
$50 each, then you sell
them for $1,000 each.
That way you don't have to transport meth.
See how $9.50 each one.
It's very good.
$4, $5, $6.
All profit.
And you don't have to tape a girl to your leg to take her to Hawaii.
She can fly right next to you and seat.
It's wonderful.
Unbelievable.
I'm very disappointed in you.
You make her pay.
You have done wrong.
You make her pay with her own meth.
And she also can carry meth.
Yeah, you make her carry it.
It's like you're not even thinking.
Poof.
And a puff of scotch and...
Four or five girls.
Four or five girls.
Unbelievable.
He's gone.
You fly through the air like a little girl.
I was planning on selling you
at the tijuana whorehouse but then i decided oh no he is just an asian boy
incredible so he says he just wanted to go home obviously after all this but uh then he uh he ends
up uh realizing no bail yeah uh they don't give him bail, so he's like, shit,
that's not a good thing.
Now what?
Three days after the arrest,
the DA convinces him,
convinces the judge
that he's a danger to the community
and a flight risk
because he's not from there.
He's like, he was a flight risk.
He said, I was going to fucking run
as far as I could.
Yeah.
In court, he's facing up to 87 months in jail
on federal distribution charges.
That's less than 12.
That's less than 12. He says he falls in a routine here he even started smoking cigarettes he said he never really uh once
he said years earlier he tried getting addicted to cigarettes so he could figure out why so many
of his friends enjoyed them i wonder why these are good uh so it's very fucking tried to get
addicted yeah he said he would also use cigarette ashes
on my homemade aluminum can crack pipe uh i don't know why i don't smoke crack out of a crack pipes
or anything really so i don't know uh yeah he says in jail i smoke because we get extra time
outside if we light up so he's like that's good there he's getting that cigarette break yeah he
tells his girlfriend he's got a girlfriend at this point now, a new girlfriend named
Jennifer.
And he says she comes to see him and he tells her that he's looking at 10 years.
He says, I don't know if I'm going to make it.
She says to him, I love you and we'll get through this.
We've just got to trust in God.
Yeah.
And he says, what's God going to do for me?
I need a lawyer.
Yeah.
Is what he says, which is the appropriate response to that question.
Lawyer, then God. we'll worry about god later uh now july of 2001 he marries this young lady that he's been seeing more on who she is in a minute here uh and through all this he's
convinced to plead guilty to his distribution charges so he pleads guilty and sentencing for his crime is september 10th 2001
is his sentence september 10th interesting day 2001 is it a clear day i was gonna say so even
if you get a shitload of years the next day you're like well i'm distracted from feeling bad for
myself jesus this is awfully eventful please my flight was smooth yeah at least i didn't do this at least it was
the united flight that made it man didn't at least i stayed in the west so he pleads guilty to the
intent to distribute basically uh he says that uh he attributed in court his conduct to an addiction
to drugs and financial problems uh with his business that led to bankruptcy he said quote
i'm thankful i'm not dead because of my drug addiction.
He says he since he's been in jail, he's turned his life around.
Yeah, he's good now.
He says he wants to make a difference in the lives of other youths.
And he says, quote, I want to be a good example.
I don't want to be just a top professional skateboarder.
He said since his arrest, he's given his life to Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ and devotes his time to Jesus Christ. Oh, Jesus Christ.
And devotes his time to talking to other inmates and at risk juveniles about his skateboard industry, industry success and drug addiction.
He wants to expand his reach to high school youths and youth ministries.
Yes, he provided testimony saying these in court.
He's saying to these troubled youths, he talks to him.
He wants to get sponsors to build a skate park where he can go and and fucking help people.
This is under the direction of the pastor and director of the City Lights Christian Youth Center, who that pastor is.
His niece is the one who married Christian.
So that's what we're doing now.
Now, the judge said he considered his rehabilitation efforts and cooperation with the government in determining a sentence on the lower end of the guidelines.
He said, quote, the court believes Mr. Hosoi tried to cooperate to the extent possible and is remorseful.
Hosoi apologized and expressed remorse.
The court received more than 100 letters in support of Hesoi, including letters from six
mainland sheriff deputies. One extolled the effect he made on a group of troubled youths who visited
him in prison. The assistant U.S. attorney here disputed the extent of Hesoi's cooperation.
He said Hesoi led federal investigators, quote, on a wild goose chase for several months after his arrest, based on information he provided the bar in Honolulu.
Some guy named Brian and to this day has not been fully cooperative by providing the full names of those he worked for.
He said, I prosecuted others who provided detailed information about these people they were involved with, with some risk for themselves.
This defendant just hasn't done that. So there's an argument back and forth. information about these people they were involved with with some risk for themselves this defendant
just hasn't done that so there's an argument back and forth what do you think the judge says
uh he says you sir may fuck off five years and ten months in prison that's a lot which is below
the minimum not by much and three years of supervised release it's below a mandatory
minimum they gave him a lower than mandatory sentence.
Oh, that's sweet.
Which is interesting.
He says that as soon as he was sentenced, he accepted his fate and Christ, and he was fine with it.
And so there's an appeal a year later on this sentence because Jesus wants to get clarification on a couple of legal issues.
Jesus is going to work up a couple of briefs
just to make sure this is all on the up and up.
But the appeal is for,
it's actually the government appealing about the sentence.
It's a really complicated thing because
they're trying to put them in for at least the minimum.
Well, another law got passed after the sentencing,
so then they were trying to make it retroactive.
It's very complicated. They end up vacating remanding the the sentence and then resentencing him to
the same thing basically under the different different statute so it can't be challenged
it's legal he's bullshit that nobody cares about so uh he's in the san bernardino uh detention
center that's where he ends up doing his time here uh now at this point point, he says that, because they're talking about, in this article, about
how Tony Hawk, at this point, they went and visited him.
He's got this mansion and his kids, and he's got two pools in his backyard, one to swim
and one to skate.
He's living the life.
Oh, Jesus.
He's got 10 cars, and he says that he never thinks about whether it should be him in that
place.
He said he doesn't ever think about it.
Oh, boy.
Which is insane. I don't think so. I don't know how you could do that he said i don't dwell on the past that
was tony's journey and god bless him this is the path the lord has set me on and i'm grateful that
i will be able to use my name and skating as my key uh he said i can't wait to skate again kids
will see me and i can represent christ i want to acknowledge him in everything i do uh yeah he's getting real christy no he was a jesus skater that's everyone's gonna be like oh
christian is always cool he's like let me tell you about the lord i feel bad for those kids who
are like you know they will come up to him wanting their idol and uh show me a nose grind no shit
have you heard the good news fuck the good fuck i mean i, I do. I feel bad for them, Jimmy.
But not nearly as bad as I feel for Christian Hussoi.
No.
He works at Intel in Section 9 in DeKalb, Georgia.
Wow.
Christian Hussoi.
In the outskirts of Atlanta.
Poor bastard.
Oh, boy.
So, 2004.
That's the only one.
That's the only one I could find.
All the rest are him.
He has like nine LinkedIn fucking. They're all like California skateboard, this and that.
2004 now, he is released early.
Really?
For good behavior.
So he does even less time.
He does like basically four years.
Almost three days in returns.
Like Christ.
Like Christ.
Immediately upon his release from prison, prison pretty much he signs a new
deal with vans yeah they hook him up there 2006 a documentary comes out of him it's rising sun
s-o-n uh the legend of skateboarder christian asoi and i remember when this came on netflix i was
like a fucking christian asoi documentary awesome i want to see him and then i clicked on and it was
all like how the lord
jesus tells you that i'm like never mind and i have not watched it even though i would love to
watch him skate it's going to be a lot of him talking about jesus and that's all his book
real jesus really uh we'll talk about it yeah because i got a lot of info from his book too
super jesus he is all jesus all the time now wow all jesus all the time now. Wow. All Jesus all the time. It's a bad radio station question.
Oh, man.
2008, he joined forces with Jay Haslip.
I don't know who that is.
Brian Sumner and others to create The Uprising, a skate-based ministry.
They are just like wrestlers, I swear to God.
This is what Ted DiBiase, this is what wrestlers do.
I did cocaine, and now I want to wrestle for the Lord.
What? I wrestled my demons to I want to wrestle for the Lord. What?
I wrestled my demons to speak to my Jesus.
Fucking weird.
Yeah, that's what they're doing.
Yeah, the uprising was documented on a Christian youth television network and made into a reality
show, which sounds boring as shit.
The first season had eight episodes following the ministry around California and England.
I think they have five seasons of this shit, too, by the way.
So he's skating still.
He gets out of jail.
He's first in 2008, the 10th annual Tim Broch Memorial Contest Grand Masters event.
Sounds like a senior circuit, basically.
First in the 2008 Etnies GVR Skull Bowl.
Overall best 80s in 2008, the All 80s All Vert Challenge Day.
It's basically like that.
Annual team event.
Second in the 2009 Pro Tech Pool Party Masters Division.
It's all these first in 2009 X Games 15 Skateboard Park Legends contests.
There's far too many qualifications.
It's legends, yeah. It's a senior
circuit is what it is here.
They can't do the shit the 20-year-old kids
can do with their bodies. Right, it's the Fragile Hip
League. Exactly, yeah.
A lot of pads on under those baggy clothes.
Lots of compression pants.
Oh, yeah. First in
2010 in the X Games 16
Park Legends Contest.
So he does really well amongst other old people.
June 12, 2012, his book comes out.
Hosoi, My Life as a Skateboarder, Junkie, Inmate, Pastor.
So I read this book.
It's interesting.
And he talks.
He's very honest about his youth and about his, for whatever he remembers, like that thing with Luanna Rawls.
He'll say like, this is what we did.
It was great.
But then her statement is also from that book where they got her state.
So there is like if he says something and someone contradicts it, they'll have their
statement in there, too.
Awesome.
So it's kind of like Nikki Sixx's book.
Kind of like that.
A little bit.
It's a little bit like Nikki Sixx's book.
Yeah.
The foreword is by Tony Hawk.
Really?
Well, too. What did Tony foreword is by Tony Hawk. Really?
As well, too, here. What did Tony say?
Nice things about him.
He just said he was a guy that I looked up to.
I really wish I wasn't writing this foreword to this book.
I really wish that he didn't have to write this book because he was so wretched enough time.
I wish this wasn't paying his mortgage.
Yes.
Rent.
Rent.
Let's be honest.
Hassoy says about his book, it's about hope and second chances i'm a pretty
serious person i'm serious about what i'm doing eternity is something that you shouldn't take too
lightly ew he is so much jesus now dude it's all jesus all the time it's fucking too much
i mean good for him it's better than meth yeah oh yeah for sure hey he found he's happy he's got
a still with his wife they have four kids now him and his wife they're happy he's got a life he's doing
wonderful he's not on meth he looks healthy yeah you know what fucking good for you there are more
i don't want to talk to you though there are more people addicted to meth that are ruining other
people's lives than people that are addicted to jesus absolutely what he's doing way better than
what he was doing before just stay away from me with that shit. Right. It's fine. Also, he can still steal from people.
And he still can steal.
It's possible.
So, 2013, he's elected to the Skateboarding Hall of Fame.
Really?
Which I didn't even know there was one.
I didn't either.
But he's in it.
Where the fuck is it?
Is it a freestanding building or is it online?
It's probably online.
Well, it says Skateboarding Hall of Fame and Museum.
Oh.
So, there must be.
There's a brick and mortar for this shit.
Maybe.
Or just pictures of, I don't know. Here's's a skateboard from tony alva's skateboard from 1978 i don't know here's
something that jay adams beat up a gay guy with some instrument homophobic there's we got a bunch
of good skating i can't wait lots of meth one dude. One dude who just loves prison sex.
It's weird as shit.
How is that?
It's weird.
I can't wait.
I'm looking forward to it.
So currently, Christian Assoy is the outreach pastor at the Sanctuary in Orange County, California.
So it says here that Pastor Christian now dedicates his life to a message of hope and restoration.
Traveling nationwide and being
interviewed and featured in national magazines and tv shows he shares his life story and god's love
he uses professional skateboarding and world recognition as a platform to preach the gospel
of jesus christ pastor christian appeared in the uprising reality series attends the
luis palau festivals living at events and churches around the world.
He's still active as a professional skateboarder,
winning contests, and receiving numerous
awards. Pastor Christian and his wife
Jennifer reside in Huntington Beach, where they have
three children. God, he's crushing it.
So, he's doing fine now. Yeah.
Can't get enough of Christian Assoy?
We've had enough. We've had an assful,
but Christian Assoy, you can follow him on Twitter
at Christian Assoy. Pretty easy asoy pretty easy servant soldier and ambassador of god and the lord jesus christ
how's he doing that's his thing there uh it says you know location where i'm supposed to be
triple exclamation point and he uh he has uh uh he's following 845 people. He only has 24,000 followers. Wow.
Which is ridiculous. For one of the best.
He's not verified.
Right.
And he's only got 3,000 more followers than me, which is disturbing.
Yeah.
Considering that, you know, as a guy out of my wall when I was a kid.
Well, I mean, that shit.
Richard Pryor's fucking verified on Twitter.
He has 1,700 followers.
And he's dead.
And he's been dead for fucking 14.
15 years.
And he signed up for Twitter in 2015.
Yeah.
Fuck verified.
It's dumb.
Now, also, there is this, though, that may be why he's not there.
He has 10 likes.
Oh, what the fuck?
So he's tweeted 10.3 thousand times.
He's only liked 10 things.
Well, what the shit, man?
Get involved.
He's not.
Yeah.
It's like, why would you?
Yeah.
What's going on here?
I bet all those likes are Jesus-y things.
Oh, they are, too.
They're probably something.
Oh, who knows?
Some of his church put up.
He liked that.
Now, if you really can't get enough Christian Assoy, you can bring him right to your, wherever
the hell you are.
How much is it?
Athletespeakers.com.
Contact them at 800-916-6008 to book Christian Assoy for a keynote speech, corporate appearance,
grand opening, autograph signing, product
announcement, moderated Q&A
or an exclusive meet and greet.
Yeah, they work on
the athlete speakers will work on your behalf
to get the best price for your
desired sports celebrity. You got to contact
them for fee. Oh, but you can not on there,
but you can have you can have
a soy skateboards
dot com. If you want to get a board
he's still making the hammerheads too that design uh there it says that it's uh he's a driving force
behind it the brand features boards based on original shapes and designs with modern takes on
it so uh yeah he's doing that boards are all made in costa mesa california and if you want to get
his book that we talked about there uh that you can get for $8.99 on
Amazon.
That's a deal.
The Kindle version.
It's like 18 bucks for the hardcover.
Whatever.
I got the Kindle version.
I read it for this week's show.
Right.
And that is Christian Assoy flying through the air.
Unbelievable.
With the greatest of meth-y ease.
You know he's selling like long boards for the boardwalk and all that shit.
Oh, probably.
Yeah.
He's got to be.
He's got to be doing. Yeah. Who the fuck knows who the fuck knows what i'd buy that stuff he's got he's got all sorts of
yeah then t-shirts and different things the merch alone he's doing well giving it to jesus giving it
all up to jesus literally everything he says the word jesus is in it he has not said a sentence
that doesn't have jesus in it in a fucking time. And every interview is just about Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ.
Good for him.
Like I said, he's our Willie Mays Akins.
Yeah.
And him are like, what?
The few two that have.
Very rare.
That have done like that.
He's been out of prison for 15 years.
Never had another problem.
Lives his life clean.
Has no issues.
So, I mean, if he needs Jesus to do it.
Hey, fuck it.
He obviously needed something.
He needed either
meth or jesus he needs to have something so we're glad i guess jesus is better than meth
question mark i mean when there's a choice between the two jesus is better than meth
question mark is the name of the show by the way that's absolutely the name of the question mark
yeah question mark. Jesus is
better than meth. So that is Christian
Astoi, everybody. If you like that show,
I have an idea. I know how.
You can tell us. How? You can go right to
iTunes, Apple Podcasts, the purple
icon. You can leave us a review.
Doesn't matter what you say. Give us five
stars. Tell us you're following instructions,
following directions. It does not matter.
We do not care.
It's not for our ego. It's just to drive us up the charts you can go to shut up and give me murder.com for all of your small town murder and crime and sports needs all of your
merchandise tickets to live shows everything is right there also links to follow us on social
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everybody else does you can do that we're at crime and sports on twitter and facebook at small town murder on
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donations and be a hero wow like these fine people we're going to discuss in just a moment here
you can do that very easily as well uh super easy Just go to patreon.com slash crime and sports or head over to PayPal.
Use our email address crime and sports at gmail.com to make a one-time donation.
And both of those can be reached right from shut up and give me murder.com.
It's really just a convenient one-stop place to be.
It really is.
So go there.
Do all of that.
And without further ado, Jimmy, I need right now.
I need it like a pound and a half of meth strapped to my leg. I've got a strap right here. I know further ado, Jimmy, I need, right now, I need it like a pound and a half of
meth strapped to my leg.
I've got a strap right here.
I know.
Good, good, good.
Hit me with it, Jimmy.
The names of our producers.
This week's executive producers are Elizabeth, with no last name, but Lil' Ryder is part
of her email.
I'm not going to give the rest of it because I don't want people to email her.
Oh, yeah.
Rachel.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Rachel Laminman.
I'm at a loss for words for that one.
No idea.
Jordan Bennett, Jeff Kapp, Edward Claringbold, I think.
Yes.
And Edward married his Emily, and congrats to the two of you.
Hey, good for you.
And congratulations.
Under the Sea Fabrics, Christine Conklin, Joseph Minner, John Schaefer, and Christopher Burland.
I think that's right.
Well, thank you.
It's probably not. Even if we messed it up.
Thank you all very much.
Other producers this week are Cynthia Archambault, yes, Nicole Johnson, Holly Bieske, Blake
Stevenson, Catherine Brody, Colby Schaefer, Jesse with no last name, Rebecca Mason, Nick Mantzius.
I think that's not right, but I tried.
Emma Jansen, Kelly Everett, Mandy Jones, Joey Coco, Ruby Perez, Tracy Holmes, Jay Kumar, Sue Adler Kuyper Mike Patrick Matt Avery
Eliana Kroniger
Schmultz McDoppler
McDopple
Schmultz
You know what I said.
Yeah, you got you.
You're dicking with me
and you're not going to get me
to try my best on that one
because I don't know how to do that.
Alex Taylor
Karen Jorgensen Michael Buckley Kelsey Drll cody with no last name justice stint
aubrey stewart tamika van donk or dunk uh carolyn carolyn rickles uh joanne girley
lauren gibbons arlen solom yeah dylan arcio arceo, I think. Okay. Axio. I don't know if it's an R or a K.
Faye Ferguson, Ben Mathias, Troy Turnwald, Nicole with no last name, Alyssa Camacho,
Christopher Nielsen, Devin Murch, Justin Hinkle.
No, Justin Hinkle.
Sorry, Justin.
No, Justin Hinkle.
Sorry, Justin.
Amanda Shrum.
Jerry Boyette.
Logan Holman.
Greg McMullen.
Evan Schmoll.
Thomas Smith.
Michelle Coyne.
Ellie Cruz.
Chelsea Morgan.
Dorothy Jones.
Kimberly Burke.
Brendan Ables.
TJ and Yvonne.
Tom Berry.
Sonny.
No, Sonny.
Sonny Johansson.
Alyssa Rubel.
Rachel Hilliard-Brown, Jesse Hartman,
Rob Sukach, Stephanie Alexander, Gary Howard.
Thanks, Gary.
Appreciate it.
Wayne Eselick, Kaylee Spencer, Amy Spicer, Aaron Jarrell, Lee Cannelly, Kira Bai, Kyle Ledger, Hillary Emick, Craig Ventura.
Craig's back in.
Thanks, Craig.
Nice to see you.
Karen Edgen.
Jesus, God, I'm so bad at this.
Aaron and Matt May.
No, I'm not.
Ronnie Kumar, Ashley Putas, Scott Cloud, Emily Warwick, Thomas Smither, Tim Hartman, Danielle Volcanes,
Borek, Thomas Smithard, Tim Hartman, Danielle Volkanes, Tyler Sheets, Brian Verblau, I think,
Emmanuel Christian, Chris Voss, Heather Campbell, Patrick Martin, Scott McDonald, Teresa Thomas,
Justin Miller, Robin Anderson, Sean Hartley, Krista Walker, Bug, B-U-G, those are all initials,
but I'm going with Bug, Mark Foster, Brian Carr, Jude Kendall, Malin Lindberg, Devin Garrett, Sally Norris, Mitch Mandela, Mushrooms.
Oh, those are mushrooms somewhere that somebody wanted us to talk about.
Ethan's girl Nikki of Nikki's Shirts and Shit had a birthday.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
And thank all of you Patreon supporters.
You guys are why we do it.
Thank you everybody so much for all that you do for us
and uh especially the money because that really means a lot it helps us so thank it helps us pay
bills and stuff so we really notice that so we really appreciate it it really hits us right where
you know when i can drive over here james that's amazing that's really when it really hits me the
most when my gas tank has money in it i love when electricity is flowing through the wires of my home.
Yeah, yeah.
That's really good.
So thank you so much for doing all that.
What if people wanted to thank you or get you to take a pound and a half of meth to
Oahu?
How could they do that, Jimmy?
You can find me at WismanSucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks, on Twitter and Instagram and Snapchat.
And I'm not doing that for you.
But you may tweet at me and offer, and I tell you, you know, where can they find you?
You can find me at Jimmy P is funny.
I'm open to ideas, but I can't promise you anything.
Or you can just copy and paste my name from the show description and do it that way and try not to.
So you don't have to spell it.
Basically, I got back on Facebook last week.
I hadn't been on there in like a year and a half.
And I accepted like, I don't know, 3,000 friend requests
and I have like
a hundred spots left.
So get your spots now.
There's a hundred left.
I'll accept the next
hundred that come in.
Fire sale!
And then it's gone.
It's over and that'll be that.
It's fascinating.
Wait until it's full
and then look back in a month
and you'll be down
like 120
for no reason at all.
Oh, yeah.
It's because Facebook
is like cycling through
like some, I don't know if it's a profile
ditch or whatever the fuck they're doing, but they get rid of people.
So then you can do it again.
People get sick of you too.
Probably that too.
People are sick of us and they're like, fuck this guy.
They hear about his bullshit.
I used to listen to this shit.
That's right.
So with that said, everybody, hope you enjoyed this week.
Next week, excessively famous person.
Right.
Keep your heads up.
A mainstream famous person. OJ number two. OJ oj number two oj number two funnier oj great live from the crime and sports studios we will see you next week bye Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music.
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