Crime in Sports - #196 - A Violence First Approach - The Hardness of Vinnie Jones (And The Scummie Awards!!)
Episode Date: February 18, 2020This week, we look into a man who always used violence as a first resort. He was a football mainstay due almost entirely to his force of will, and the sheer terror that he inflicted on his op...ponents. On the streets, he seemed to approach life the same way, and when you get up in the sky, he's even more aggressive. Luckily for him, he turned this image into a pretty healthy movie career, becoming a familiar face, all over the world. It's Vinnie Jones!!Also... THE SCUMMIE AWARDS!! Strike fear in all who cross you, grab people in terrible places, and be an X-Men villain with Vinnie Jones!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Stories on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports!
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My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host.
I'm Jimmy Westman. Good morning.
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Right.
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So we're throwing down as hard as we can and really trying to provide amazing shows as good as good as we can what we're capable of what we're capable of speaking of what we're
capable of yeah we're capable of giving you an insane story today and the scummy awards great
to follow the story of course the 2020 for 2019 basically scummy awards holy shit is it going to
be amazing.
We have so many.
Sorry, the suit's so wrinkled.
That's the thing.
Oh, getting off the plane.
It was in the plane.
That's getting off the plane to take the tux out of the suitcase.
It's wrinkled up.
It didn't have a chance to be wrinkled.
We look, there's still pageantry.
Don't get us wrong.
There's pageantry.
There's everything.
It's more than the Oscars.
It's more than the Grammys or the Tonys
or some Kennedy Center Honors or whatever. Nobel Prize. No, it than the Oscars. It's more than the Grammys or the Tonys or some Kennedy Center honors or whatever.
Nobel Prize.
No, it's a scummy.
It's way more important.
It holds a lot more weight.
So me, very stoned with my esteemed panel of Frankie and Benny at 3 o'clock in the morning have put together.
It's very, very good.
It's very official.
We'll say that. But let's get into this story. Outstanding. Because it's it's very very good it's it's very official we'll say that but let's get into this story outstanding because it's bonkers let's do this uh we ask of course this
is a soccer episode of football as you like to say over there so as always we ask that you find
our ignorance charming because we don't know shit so for non-soccer fans this is going to be good for you because we're not going to talk about a lot of stats or games because we don't know shit. So for non-soccer fans, this is going to be good for you
because we're not going to talk about a lot of stats or games
because we don't know shit.
So we've established through other soccer episodes
that we don't know what that means and we don't know what this means.
So we're not going to say that again.
We're just going to go through the craziness that happens
because our guy here isn't a real stat guy anyway.
Right.
He's just a lunatic.
Let's get to it.
It is Vincent Peter Jones, better known as Vinnie Jones.
You don't know him.
You don't think you know him, but you know who he is.
I do.
You 100%.
I love when I present somebody that I know Jimmy knows,
but he doesn't know he knows them.
Did he play for the Expos?
He did not play for the Royals or the Expos,
but he's been in like 90 movies.
Really? And you've seen a bunch but he's been in like 90 movies.
Really?
And you've seen a bunch of them.
He was in shit movies.
Oh, he's been in some shit.
He's been in some shit.
Wait till you see it.
He's been in my kind of movies?
He's been in everything.
Let's talk about him.
Vinnie Jones, born January 5th, 1965.
He's born in Watford, Hertfordshire.
Yeah. Hertfordshire. Yeah.
Hertfordshire.
That's England?
Yeah.
No, that's Kentucky.
It's western Kentucky where we just came from.
Right over there.
I have to say one thing about Kentucky people.
We were just in Louisville, and those people were the polite most.
I didn't hear one bit of chatter.
No chatter?
One shut the fuck up was thrown at any audience members.
They were almost like, look, we got a bad reputation.
God damn it.
Let's keep it together.
Right.
Jesus Christ.
People thinking bad shit.
They're going to think we're going to be fucking throwing our scissors around and hitting each other with beer cans.
I didn't see anybody's toes out.
No, people had shoes on.
Shirts.
It was nuts.
A lot of teeth I saw, shoes.
It was crazy.
Belts, not just rope.
No, belts.
It was crazy.
People going out without their overalls on.
It was amazing.
They looked great.
Thank you for doing that.
Thanks for pulling it together for us, for coming there.
And then brought a bottle of booze,
and when we asked who brought this,
it was silence,
and a man raised his hand.
Yeah.
No, it wasn't stupid.
He raised his hand,
and we said, thank you very much.
It was the most polite crowd.
You guys are amazing over there in Kentucky.
We're so happy with that.
Unbelievable.
What a great group of people.
They laughed at everything.
They weren't just quiet.
No. They were laughing when they were supposed to laugh, and laughed at everything. They weren't just like quiet. No.
They were laughing when they were supposed to laugh and they were quiet when they were
supposed to be quiet.
It was textbook.
You guys are the model.
I was blown away.
Blown away.
Yeah.
So he's from Watford here.
Now, Watford, I guess, became, they manufactured the Mosquito Fighter Bomber and the Halifax
Bomber there, north of watford and when they stopped
manufacturing bombers and these plants they converted it into uh uh leaves din film studios
which is the where they make the harry potter films really so yeah that's what that turned into
it's an old bomber building yeah you're seeing those kids full of wonder and delight that was they were building things to uh just liquefy germans at some point in there with rage yeah there was so
much anger with revenge in their hearts and now it's magic and whimsy isn't that wonderful
it's just a different thing completely make a ginger a hero totally different that's hard to make it is to make a ginger here we tried number marinovich jesus so uh
that's just we try so parents vinnie's parents here his father peter his middle name uh is a
gamekeeper which i hear a lot of more i always hear gamekeeper thrown around in in in the uk
way more than over here what is that is that a goalkeeper no again no no i think he actually
like keeps track of animals keeps track of like oh that kind of game yeah game like yeah he makes
sure that there's you know people aren't poaching and oh jesus killing too many whatever the hell
so he's like the forest ranger i think so kind of but it's like i don't know what the hell. So he's like the forest ranger. I think so. But it's like, I don't know what the hell's going on.
It's a bizarre.
Again, whatever this English shit.
We don't know.
It's so hard to figure out because it's always, it's so close.
But it's one thing off where you're like, what does that mean?
Is it this or that?
It could go another way.
We don't know.
And we've never been there.
So ignorance is charming.
The gamekeeper.
The gamekeeper.
Yeah.
Peter the gamekeeper.
His father.
Sounds like a Game of thrones character uh and his mother was glenda who uh she was uh she had
gone to a uh she's very smart and shit like that she went to college got a thing his parents are
pretty working class they're like a working class family they're very conservative though
they're known as conservative yeah they're they're. They're very conservative, though. They're known as conservative. Yeah.
Politically, they're very conservative people and shit like that here.
Now, Vinny started playing soccer at about five years old.
Yeah.
Because over there, I mean, soccer's... That's a saying.
Yeah.
I mean, in 1970, it would be like an American kid picking up a baseball glove.
It's the same shit.
As soon as you've got the muscle strength...
The coordination.
Yeah.
And motor skills to kick the ball.
You lose those baby giraffe legs.
Right.
Get out there and throw them in there.
Yeah.
He said that he got in a game when he was five, he had his first ever hat trick and
it was.
He was so happy.
Yeah.
He's a good little boy.
Five years old.
He's got three goals.
Well, think about how terrible the other kids are.
If you're even slightly coordinated at five, you're just going to destroy all the other kids they're going to be you know yeah one of
those things my boy played at that age it's adorable remember the kid in little league who
was like you know six one right you're like well this isn't fair no he's wrecking the ball and
everybody else is kind of pudgy in five six yeah like what's happening here like my kid at five had a kid that was the same age looked nine
with like long hair it was crazy kid has like he's looking at amazing hair and he's like running
around and his hair's like blowing in the wind and he's just fucking drilling goals from 30 feet
out he's got uh what's his name jesus i have aj hawk hair hair flowing out of the back of his helmet. Crazy. It's not fair.
I was jealous.
I'm mad at this kid.
Look at this little prick.
Look at this little bastard.
Don't show me his dick.
I'm going to cry.
I'll fucking cry.
I swear to God.
Athletic prowess and hair?
I will shed a tear if his dick is bigger than mine.
This is not fair.
Jimmy's going to plot murder against his young boy.
You have too much.
I will hang you by your ponytail young boy. You have too much.
I will hang you by your ponytail, boy. I appreciate what you have.
He's going to shave it off and glue it to his head.
What do you think of this now?
Matter of fact, my kid has longer hair now.
I'm pretty sure it's because that little motherfucker was so good at soccer so young.
He was like, I just want anything that that kid's got. I just want to flow in the wind i can grow my hair i'm doing it so jesus christ
but he remembered the patrick when he did because he said he swore to himself he'd never forget it
that was like i'm gonna remember this this is a triumphant moment here uh he says that uh he was
kind of a kind of a cut up when he was a little kid, basically.
He could have gone into the realm of trouble as a kid very, very easily.
Because as we'll find out, he's definitely got it in him.
And I have to also say this.
I like this guy.
There's just a...
When we talk about him, the shit he does,
you kind of like him.
I don't know what it is.
You just kind of got to go,
you know what, I kind of fucking get it with this guy.
Rude for his dickery? I kind of like him, yeah. know what it is you just kind of you kind of got to go you know what i kind of fucking get it rude for his dickery i kind of like him yeah it's one of those things here
so uh yeah he said that soccer was the thing that he could concentrate on like a lot of kids we do
a lot of the people we talk about if they didn't have sports they would be in prison when they're
16 years old a lot of our athletes that we talk about there they have tendencies that are bad
they come from kind of you know sometimes at the best home situation and the structure of a sport right kind of keeps them together less
economical uh advantages yeah opportunities exactly down that path yes that's an outlet if
you have something where you're like oh i go here after school and i don't go stick around and hang
out with my friends i go there for like three hours and then i'm tired so i come come home and I try to eat something and I go to bed and I get up the next morning
and play sports.
It's only those three boys in New York had that opportunity.
Yeah.
The ones that stabbed that girl.
Yeah.
Oh, Jesus.
That's what it is though.
That's what happens.
That sucks.
Yeah.
They get into a position where they're like, let's just go robbing.
That's the worst.
Cause yeah, you see shit like that and you're like, okay, that's an 18 year old girl.
That's horrible.
Then you look at the kids and you're, cause you're like, oh, what fucking monsters? And you look at the kids and you're like, okay, that's an 18-year-old girl. That's horrible. Then you look at the kids, because you're like, oh, what fucking monsters.
Then you look at the kids, and you're like, oh, they're fucking children.
Jesus Christ.
What happened to them?
Right.
What's going on?
You've got to place blame on the systemic issues.
What happened?
Granted.
What happened?
Right.
Granted.
They shouldn't be making those decisions.
The one kid's 13.
But what led them to think that that shit's okay?
Think about this.
The one kid's 13.
Now, my son's 12.
He's going to be 13 in two weeks.
Unreal.
Can you imagine?
No.
No.
He wouldn't even say hello to people.
Right.
Hi.
And he'd keep walking.
He would be so.
His birthday was two weeks ago.
He's upstairs unwrapping a bunch of those little fucking, I don't know.
How do you describe those?
It's like an unboxing thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a thing.
It's got an early birthday present.
He likes shit like the small toys
that you put together and yeah i'm like joey those are great yeah i love you jimmy yeah
that's not like a kid that would be stabbing a woman in a fucking hallway that's there's a
problem there is what i'm getting at something happened that's an issue where you you have to
feel like christ almighty that well you have to feel just as bad for the kid almost because
they obviously had something bad.
Things weren't,
they weren't raised beautifully and perfectly.
Like let's go stab a chick in the park.
And the,
and another kid that was raised well was like,
yeah,
great.
Sounds good.
There are four victims.
Yeah.
It doesn't happen that often.
Yeah.
That's what I mean.
The whole thing is,
is a disaster.
Well,
I mean,
there's a 13 year old on 14 year old.
I don't know the third one.
They say there's three people.
That kid could be fucking 25. I don't know. It could be a 25 year old trying to, yeah, who knows't know the third one they say there's three people that kid could be fucking 25
I don't know
showing those kids
how to do things
who knows
but if it's
if it's another kid
that's like 12
there's a huge
fucking problem
that's a problem
that's an enormous problem
we have no control over
no obviously not
we can't do anything about it
I can't do fuck about that
we can barely control
our own kids
I've got an 11 year old
that talks back to me
I was gonna say nobody else's kids.
Jesus.
The hell are we going to do?
Right.
So Vinny here, he said this helped him.
And I guess talent helps, too, if you're talented and you're kind of drug in that direction.
And he is talented because here's a quote for him.
Well, you know what?
Let's do it in their own words.
What do you say here?
Let's get it in their own words going off the bat here. In their own words, quote, I signed schoolboy forms know what? Let's do it in their own words. What do you say here? Let's get it in their own words going off the bat here.
In their own words, quote, I signed schoolboy forms for Watford when I was 12.
Then my parents divorced and I never kicked a ball for three years.
I rebelled.
I left home.
But getting back into football sorted me out.
It was the second chance I needed.
So from 12 to 15, apparently, he didn't do shit.
No, I guess he was.
He signed paperwork.
He signed paperwork at 12.
You know what I mean?
That's crazy.
I'm sorry.
It's nuts that that happens there.
You guys are like, yeah, look at that kid.
He's in sixth grade.
Let's sign him up.
His signature matters to something.
He doesn't even have a signature.
He just writes it in block letters.
But, you know, you have to have a signature
before you can sign shit that should be a rule i signed something anybody can sign your signature
kid yeah you just wrote it you got typewriter font yeah nice it's a little messy too we can
easy to duplicate apparently vinny's a midfielder here uh also when he was 12 years old and so a lot
of things happen his parents getting divorced right he also meets a girl when he was 12 years old and so a lot of things happen his parents getting divorced right
he also meets a girl when he's 12 a girl named tanya yeah who he really kind of uh kind of likes
her and uh but they're like friends and then they kind of go out on a couple dates when they're
about 16 we'll talk about that in a little while and then that's it though they just no more no
they just kind of go their separate ways and we'll talk about it. But in 1984 is when his career kind of really began here.
He's 19 years old, and he plays for, I'm going to say this, I'm sure I won't pronounce this right.
W-E-A-L-D-S-T-O-N-E.
You did it wrong.
Weldston.
Weldston.
There you go.
Okay.
But it'll be something else.
You know it'll be something else, Jimmy. That sounds logical. That's what I There you go. Okay. Well, but it'll be, it'll be something else. You know, it'll be something else, Jimmy.
That sounds logical.
That's what I would have said.
Yeah.
But do you think that's right?
Probably.
No, no, no.
It's not right.
It's not fucking right.
It's never right.
It's never right.
We've never been right once with one of the pronunciations ever.
It's never happened.
We've never been right.
Never.
Yeah.
Even if I hear it said by an English person and say it that way, they're like, yeah, no, it's not like that been right never yeah even if i hear it said by an english person say
it that way they're like yeah no it's not like that fuck why i suck so uh anyway the alliance
this is uh the alliance premier league in 1984 85 season this is there in that it's known as the
gola league that year for sponsorship reasons they They actually sold the name of the league to a sponsor, Gola, who makes like soccer
and tennis shoes.
That's wild.
I looked them up.
They kind of look like knockoff Adidas.
Like G-O-A-L-A?
It's G-O-L-A.
Oh.
So not even Gola would have made sense.
Just fucking switch the two last letters?
That's it.
Make it Gola.
Gola shoes there.
So he was apparently at this point because
he's not making much money doing this they make a little stipend or something he's not only playing
football he's working as a hod carrier on building sites at the same time the hell are they there you
go here we go another what are you carrying so what are we on page two here and we're ready we
don't we know nothing we can't pronounce. And we're ready. We know nothing.
We can't pronounce the cities.
I don't know what he does.
I don't know where he's at.
Apparently a brick hot.
I looked this up. I had to is a three sided box for carrying bricks and other building shit and mortar
and stuff like that.
It's got a long handle and you carry it over your shoulder.
Oh, my God.
So it's it's it's a hot is usually long enough to accept four bricks on
their side get a wheelbarrow bro yeah i don't know what this is why would you still lugging the bricks
around let's finish the explanation we'll figure this out because we got to try to make a diagram
here uh however by arranging the bricks in a chevron fashion yeah that's that logo where it's
like is it like the logo is it like a v sort of yeah okay
the number of bricks that can be carried is only limited to the weight the laborer can bear
and the unwieldiness of that load you know a little tip over how many can you hold fucker
typically 10 to 12 bricks may be carried oh my god which is a lot that's pretty you know
hod carrying is a laboring occupation in the building industry typically the hod carrier or
hottie that's the most british sounding job ever i'm a hottie hey you're like what
you're a what yeah you know what the fuck does that mean it's different you know very that's
somebody you want to fuck yeah in a very cockney accent yeah you'd be like i don't know i don't
know what that is i can't understand i tote that understand. That's an awfully fancy name for a brick toter.
Yeah, I would say so.
A hottie will be employed by a bricklaying team in a supporting role to the bricklayers.
Two bricklayers for each hod carrier is typical, apparently.
The hottie's duties may include wetting the mortar boards on the scaffolding prior to fetching bricks from the delivery pallet using his
hod and bringing them up there to be laid so the brick layers can lay them down easily.
And yeah, this is a ball-breaking job is what we're getting at.
It's not easy.
That's a fucking tough one.
But you're essentially just going and getting the tool.
You know what I mean?
You're the guy that's going and grabbing the wrench for the mechanic.
Yeah.
Same thing.
And this is what you do in a day.
The baseline rate for a bricklayer is to lay a thousand bricks a day.
So the hod carrier serving two.
So they must move 2000 bricks a day.
Oh, my God.
Though it's not uncommon, they say, for them to serve three bricklayers, making it more
like 3000.
Oh, such a backbreaking.
The world record.
Yeah.
There's a hod, a h. The world record. There's a HOD-y world record.
Oh, boy.
The world record for moving 500 bricks by HOD is 12 minutes, set by a guy named John
Logan in 2011.
That's so fast.
That's crazy that that's a record.
Somebody timed that.
Yeah.
Somebody was like, I need this documented.
Want to feel worse?
Dude was 46 when he did that.
Oh, fuck.
Right?
What a life.
At 46, you're not even a bricklayer yet?
I don't want to do that now.
Jesus, I don't want to do that.
I'm not 46 yet.
I don't want to carry bricks like that.
That sounds terrible.
So January 6th, 86 here, he goes to, I think he goes to, he's bought by Wimbledon.
Okay.
You know, not the tennis tournament.
The town.
Yeah, the town's team here.
Wimbledon.
Now, Wimbledon was, they ended up moving later on.
It's crazy.
But yeah, apparently in the 80s, they started out in the shits.
They were in the fourth division in the early 80s, which, remember, we've gone over the tiers.
If you're new to this and don't know anything about soccer,
join the club.
We're with you.
But in addition to that, we did find out that the teams,
they have a tier system.
There's the first-tier teams and the second-tier teams
and the third-tier teams and the fourth-tier teams,
and the teams can move up tiers.
If you're really
good and another team sucks and then along here you'll jump tiers so you could be in the first
tier three years later you could be in the shit bottom of the third tier because if your team
sucks which is pretty goddamn cool i like it's a lot of pressure to keep these right your roster
up and you can you know there's upward movement. It's cool. So after force, they were in the fourth division.
By 1986, they got to the first division, this team.
So that's a really quick ascent.
Like, they got really good really, really fast.
And they had a different, we'll talk about their seating here, their stadium,
because there was a major catastrophe
at another stadium, which caused them to change regulations, which meant they couldn't play
at this stadium anymore.
Yeah, we'll talk about that.
I got kind of some stats on that.
I've seen that.
Oh, it's crazy.
I remember as a little kid seeing it on SportsCenter and just being like, oh my God.
I saw it just recently.
It's scary.
And it is the most anxiety-inducing videos I've ever...
It's horrible.
It's like, stop!
Oh, my God.
Everybody stop.
Why are we...
What are we doing?
What are we doing?
There's a fucking fence.
There's a fence and there's people there.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Stop pushing.
Stop pushing.
So, 1986 here also, he ends up playing a little bit in Sweden.
They send him over to Sweden for a club called IFK Holmsund in 86.
I don't know.
Apparently, they won the Division III title, that team.
So good for them.
Now, the disaster, it's called the Hillsborough disaster.
It's April 15, 1989.
And it was at Hillsborough Stadium in Sheffield.
And it was a game between Liverpool and Nottingham Forest.
Oh, so it was a big game.
It was a FA Cup semifinal, as we'll talk about.
That's why there were so many people there.
And the way they divide, they kind of divide the fans like prison over there.
They would do it basically.
Segregate.
Segregate the visiting team's fans from the home team.
Like high school football.
Exactly.
That's how they would do it.
So that's what ended up happening.
They would relegate kind of this many for this this you know amount of uh their fans will
put them in this many pens the way they would put it and then it turns out that more showed up than
they thought and they just stuffed more in there were so many and that's what ended up happening
here uh this this shit is it's it's nuts man they just rushed everybody rushed towards the front to
try yeah i don't know if they were trying to watch.
What were they even, I don't remember what they were doing.
The whole point, the problem was there was overcrowding outside the turnstiles.
Right.
So the game, the people weren't coming in on time.
They weren't going to have to be able to start the game on time.
So the police, the police guy who was in charge there ordered another gate opened that would let more people in into these pens here.
And this led to a huge crowding all at once.
A rush for that gate.
That's right.
And it crushed everybody against the fence.
96 people died.
Wow.
766 injuries.
Oh, my God.
That's insane.
That's worse than like an Al-Qaeda bombing.
96. That's crazy. That's worse than an Al-Qaeda bombing. 96.
That's crazy.
That's so many people.
96 and 766 hurt is insane.
Wow.
That's a huge terrorist attack type numbers.
That's fucking crazy.
Whoa.
And that was just accident.
To watch football.
Just to watch football. That was a huge.
They had a huge inquiry over it here.
A guy named Lord Justice Taylor.
Lord and justice.
Watch out for him.
When the Lord's slinging the justice, you've got to be careful.
He's dispensing it here.
So that's a problem.
Yeah, so they finally published this report in 1990.
And they made it so there has to be all these different safety things.
So you can't just stuff a bunch of people into a pen and let them crush each other and uh that's what ended up happening here i think they had to
end up basically they either had to completely get it like a new stadium that would accommodate
this shit basically before that they had uh stadiums where people weren't seated everybody
was standing so they made a rule that everybody has to have a seat now you can't sell a ticket
without a seat it's also they should all seaters it's what it's called they should make a
rule that people have to be mature enough to be able to mingle with the other team that's that's
the other thing that's how they are so vicious well chairs help right chairs do help also it
helps for a rush it's hard to rush over a shitload of fucking you know chairs that are in the ground
in the fuck like at a baseball so you never see that because there's a bunch of chairs there's slowing everybody down
visual place of where you're supposed to be that's what yeah exactly there's a chair it's
it's not just an open thing where everybody can squish like that this is like a concert they got
to calm the fuck down with what they what team do you support yeah they're they're crazy jesus yeah
it's not a support thing i just like them them. Yeah, I got to say that.
Yeah, passion's awesome, first of all.
And I get it.
There's crazy fans of all sports.
They're insane.
I mean, look at NFL fans.
There's some crazy fucks that dress up nuts and have no shirt on in Green Bay in December.
It's crazy.
There's some nuts out there.
But they, outside of, and the Raiders even moved.
So outside of Oakland, there's not a lot of violence, though, that goes on in the stadium.
Philly a little bit.
They had to put a jail in there.
It's been a minute since you've heard anything.
It's disorderly.
It's two fat fucks.
Right.
You know, it's two fat, like, linemen who are, you know, they got these season tickets near each other.
They're always chirping at each other.
And one gets pissed off
and throws a cheesesteak at the other one.
The next thing you know, he punches him in his mustache,
and they end up in the little jail.
It's not a fucking stampede where 96 people die.
It's too much here.
I've seen videos where, like, a dude gets flattened in the stands
because he's drunk and mouths off, and everybody's like,
yeah, fuck that guy.
Yeah, that's fine.
Hey, don't mouth off.
Watch your alcohol intake.
Hold your liquor.
And then you got a bunch of Niners fans high-fiving Seahawks fans.
And they're like, yeah, that guy's a dick.
Let's throw him out.
Team up against the asshole.
Find one asshole and take it out on him.
And everybody else get along and don't crush each other.
So November of 1986, he comes back to wimbledon from sweden here
and uh he got his first goal in only his second game for for wimbledon which was pretty cool in a
one nothing uh win over manchester united it was like a big deal it's the only goal of the game
and so he uh he right away kind of made himself a fixture on the team and somebody who was kind
of indispensable not because of his goal scoring or anything like that or none of that kind of made himself a fixture on the team and somebody who was kind of indispensable not
because of his goal scoring or anything like that or none of that kind of shit uh mainly because
he scared the living shit out of everybody yeah that's he was the guy who we've talked about a
lot of hockey game enforcers of bob probert or lb or guys like that lyndon byers they're different guys but in soccer there used
to be those guys too and this is like the top one craziest watch your ass yeah nutcase beat the shit
out of people guy and they kept him because of it they needed him oh he was the intimidator i mean
he would scare the shit out of people he was great they called the team was called the uh their part
of this team was called the uh their part of this team was
called the crazy gang oh boy they called them they were a bunch of lunatics and they had it was a
different game then it was like hockey used to be where you could have a team that was just rugged
and was just tougher than another team and they could grind out wins whereas now they've made it
so it's open and it's all about speed and talent and things like that whereas back then it wasn't
so much about you could will yourself to win if you were tougher than the other people and it was that sort of game
basically hockey too and soccer very similarly the goal itself is rarely very artistic do you
know what i mean yeah sometimes sometimes you'll see a guy like reach the stick around the whole
goal and like just slide it and you're like
how things like that are just those little fake wristers where a guy can put it right where he
wants to in the net right upper right hand corner pow and you're like jesus goddamn slap shot from
20 feet away isn't very artistic it's just muscle will and muscle to get it and soccer very similarly
hockey used to be able to grind shit out back in the much like even in the nba you could have back in the day you could have a less talented team that was physical in the 70s
and 80s and then by the 90s they started to lock that shit down well it still happened with like
the 90s heat yeah they weren't very talented they're always in the playoffs you know those pj
brown crap teams they were okay but them and the knicks would be like an eight fist fights a game
every playoff series because they were i mean the knicks had Oakley and Ewing and Mason in the front lines.
It was just, they were the most scrappy street fighting team of the 90s.
Oh, they just wanted to fight you.
You either hated them or loved them.
And they were very much like the Raiders.
But they were always very, very good.
And you didn't want to watch a team have to play them.
No, because it was going to be, yeah. If they were the bulls yeah jordan was going to feel at the end of
the day yeah he's going to get nice starks was going to be fouling him and hanging on him and
trying to stop him and anyway so i found a line here from some soccer uh some big soccer thing i
don't know what the hell publication it is but but it's just one line where he says, quote, through the midfield into his territory was dealt with in no uncertain terms.
That's just people.
You should be scared.
He had a section of the field.
Yeah.
If you come in there.
Yeah.
It's going to be like a safety in football.
If this receiver is going to do a crossing, I'm going to just light him up.
I'm going to destroy him.
That's kind of what he did.
15 yards square.
Don't come in it.
Yeah.
Vinny said, quote, if you walked into our house, there were fireworks.
That's his thing here.
It was all aggression and shit like that.
They also said that, like, they even made it so the visiting locker rooms sucked there.
They wanted it to be, as they put it, a hostile facility in all shape and fashion.
It should be like that in every sport.
Well, a lot of them is.
But now with the new stadiums, it's more...
Everything's beautiful.
Well, because they want to have all-star games and shit like that.
So in order to have that...
Like the Super Bowl.
Yeah.
Actually, we did a tour of Wrigley when we did Chicago last time.
And we were in the Visitor's Clubhouse.
It's part of the tour.
Right.
And they talk about how this used to be a total piece of shit.
It was a little concrete room with a bunch of people crammed in,
but we wanted to have the all-star game,
and in order to have the all-star game, we had to have facilities.
Yeah, had to have nice facilities.
You can't ask a bunch of stars to go there
and cram themselves into a concrete thing.
They'll just say, I'll stay home, thanks.
I'd love to go to Wrigley for the fanfare and prestige of playing in Wrigley,
but I don't want to sit in a fucking concrete bunker.
Yeah, this is shit. It looks like some place that
Hitler committed suicide.
Yeah, this is, let's say,
it's the underground
bunker. Kerbel's family
fucking suicide
chamber. This is great.
Look at this. Fantastic.
Kerbel's family.
That sounds
disgusting, those two words together yeah it does it does especially
knowing what happened yeah it's even worse so yeah this was a real uh they were just uh
if you were on this team too there was a lot of hazing this is a bunch of they wanted to make
sure you were tough enough to hang there basically uh. You had to earn it. You had to earn it. They said that they would haze a lot.
A guy who was Wally Downs, who was a midfielder, he would fuck with these kids, I guess.
When they'd sign kids, he would just break them down and make fun of them constantly
and call them names and give them nicknames and just brutalize them to see if they could take it.
They would drag them across the snow snowy like if it snowed out
there they'd drag them across the field like you know just to mess with them uh uh they this is
nice uh tied kids to the roof of the car well and then drove them down the highway like a like a
like a fallen deer horrifying yeah shit like that how you gotta trust a soccer player's knots and they're all drunk yeah
they barely tie their shoes well yeah like tie him up all right put him on the roof what
no uh vinnie said quote you either grew a backbone quickly or dissolved as a man
yeah no shit uh yeah they all sorts of shit man. Some of them were like good natured, they said, and some of them were a little a little too much.
One, I guess, a younger player.
There was a guy named John.
I'm sure it's pronounced wrong.
Fashion.
Yeah, I guess he was like one of the captains of the team.
And kid got mouthy with him, I guess.
So this guy basically beat the living shit out of him in the locker room.
They said he threw him around, quote, like a rag doll and uh his calf was shattered to pieces uh he got
like injured him oh my god yeah just broke his fucking leg yeah and the guy stood fashion new
guy said quote to get respect you needed an element of fear okay not on your own team
you're supposed to have some respect there.
Another player said, quote, I had my shoes nailed to the floor and what the hell is this?
And something in my pants straight away.
Ralgex?
I don't know.
Ralgex?
That sounds like some sort of chemical.
Cleaning product, chemical in my pants straight away.
The manager, Dave Bassett, might not have liked it, but he didn't have a say.
Dave Bassett might not have liked it, but he didn't have a say.
We'd travel, and it was Dave's bed more often than not would end up outside his room or on one occasion in the swimming pool.
Oh, Jesus.
They're even torturing their manager.
Yeah.
They don't give a shit, these guys.
Throw his bed in the pool.
Yeah.
These guys are just crazy.
They're like the 70s Raiders, basically.
That's what we have here.
Or Lawrence Taylor's Giants.
Well, yeah, but they were still kind of fucking straight-legged.
Were they contained? Except for LT but they were still kind of fucking straight
they were a little except for lt they were contained oh that guy's a minute everybody
else harry carson was like a straight they were mostly contained phil sims the biggest dork in
the world like the raiders in the 70s ken stabler was their quarterback he's the craziest son of a
bitch going he's nuts yeah drunk all the time they're all crazy all those 70s raiders are great when you like
read a book about the 70s raiders yeah you can't help but like the 70s they're awesome
just a bunch of loons that they put together and we had the mad storks real name but his face he
had nothing to lose you may as well just be a madman all these run your face through glass
who gives a shit his face looks horrible they were all like on their last chance and shit like that.
It was just great.
Awesome team.
Bunch of personality on that team.
And they would try to scare the shit out of people.
That was their thing.
Vinny said, quote, if you couldn't handle the stripping and the pranks and the abuse,
you were fucked out.
Simple as that.
The phrases.
I love it.
He's great.
Straight away.
This one's good, too.
Fucked out.
People hated playing us us and who could
blame them this wasn't just a football team it was attack it was an attack on the senses it was
the crazy gang that's what he said and uh i guess nowadays it's way more ticky tacky with the rules
like they will give you fouls all over the place for your they flop for yeah all sorts of shit for
you know being too aggressive and spiking
people and things like that but back then it was a little different story they vinnie was considered
like a playground player almost like that kind of guy like a scary just a frightening man uh so uh
he uh he would spike people in the legs and shit like that he was a mean son of a bitch
sliding in with his shoes by the the way. Yeah, I guess.
You got cleats on, spikes.
You got to let some people know what that one is.
Stab him.
Yeah, that's true.
Good call.
Thank you for that.
So, yeah, he loved getting in trouble.
He got kicked out of 13 different games over the course of his career,
which is good.
He's ninth all-time in career red cards.
Ninth all-time?
Ninth all-time with 13.
That's not very good, actually.
The number one guy has 46.
That's it?
And it's twice.
It's a guy.
He must have just been trying to stab people in his cleats after a while,
taking them off and swinging them at people's faces.
But this guy, it was Gerardo Bedoya.
I think he was a Colombian guy.
Jesus Christ.
He had 46 of them.
And then later on, recently, in the last few years,
he was hired as a manager for one of the Colombian teams.
And in his first game as a manager, he went into the stands and fought a fan.
What?
First game.
Wow. Number one. Just letting everybody know what kind of party this is. as a manager he went into the stands and fought a fan what first game number one just letting it
letting everybody know what kind of party this is i'll not have my my fucking strategies questioned
i'm sorry i'm gonna set the tone of my tenure yeah right now i'm going into the stands which
and this is crazy but i mean he had 46 the second place guy in career red cards, as 27. So that's way more.
That's just way more.
Almost doubled him.
Yeah.
They said on Wimbledon, this is the manager said this, quote,
In this club, the only hooligans are the players, which is great.
Yeah.
Just fantastic.
That's what you need.
Now, 1988 is possibly his most famous thing ever.
And he's done a lot of things famous.
But this, as far as in soccer goes, is apparently a really legendary thing.
And it's totally understandable.
Because if there was a picture like this in basketball, it'd be the greatest picture ever.
And they'd never stop showing it.
So how do you say this guy's name?
Because I know you know the Paul.
Vinny?
No, the other guy.
Paul.
Gasconi?
Gasconi.
I think that's what it is.
I think that's what it is, Gasconi.
Whatever the fuck it is, they call him Gaza.
I know.
That guy.
Okay, he's a really good player at this point for Newcastle in 1988.
And Vinny's job was to make him not have a good game.
Fuck him up, get in his way, don't let him hurt us, intimidate him, and that sort of thing.
Now, Paul says about Vinnie, quote, he approached me and said, my name is Vinnie Jones.
I'm a gypsy.
I earn a lot of money.
I'm going to rip your ear off with my teeth and I'm going to spit it out on the grass.
You're fat.
Then he called him fat.
He said, you're also fat.
Okay.
That's amazing.
My name is Vinnie Jones.
I'm a gypsy.
I earn a lot of money i'm going to
rip your ear off with my teeth and i'm going to spit it out on the grass you're also fat
he saw the princess bride and was like that line could be punched up and by the way that too
i'm a gypsy i earn a lot of money that's That's just hilarious. I don't know why that's so...
As an intro.
Yeah.
Because he said, my name is Vinnie Jones.
And then he's giving his stats, basically.
My name is Enigo Montoya.
Let me give you a rundown.
Here's my resume.
I'm a gypsy.
Yeah.
Earn a lot of money.
Oh, by the way.
Yeah.
I'd like to rip your ear off and spit it on the ground.
That's all of the waistline you got.
That's pretty nice.
You fat fuck.
Did I mention that?
Take a piece
out of your figure love handles too there chief yeah so apparently uh uh this gaza got knocked
to shit paul gas whatever the hell you say his name got knocked down a lot uh a shitload uh
vinnie spit on him at one point all this this sort of shit. And then, okay, this is fucking amazing.
He said that after he did this particular thing,
Gazza said, quote,
he is the only player I've come to fear.
Oh.
All right?
And that Gascon guy?
He's crazy.
He's a bad man.
He's a fucking lunatic.
He's an absolute maniac, that guy.
We've been sent uh please do an episode
on him and all this type of comment don't worry yeah absolutely absolutely here uh i'd like to
show you the picture jimmy oh what's that i don't know what just happened there that's the picture
oh my god he reached behind he's walking away from him follow if you don't know it's not gonna
be on our social media crime and sports and Sports. He gave a reach behind.
It's not even a reach around.
And his menacing grimace
of how hard he is squeezing
this man's testicles.
He's squeezing his ball bag
with all that he has.
And he's like trying to hide it.
Like,
look at that motherfucker
from the back.
Paul is so disturbed by it.
He just,
he's obviously going,
hi.
There's no, you can tell there's no sound coming out of his mouth.
He wants there to be sound,
but there's nothing there.
He wishes he could say,
ah.
That's all he can say.
Ah.
He wants to say stop.
He can't say out.
Look at Vinny.
He's so flexed.
Even his thighs are like,
look at his forearm.
He's squeezing the man's testicles from his own thigh.
He's using his legs.
You squeeze balls with your legs.
Things you pick up boxes and couches with your legs.
You got to put your legs in.
Throw the energy from the balls in your heels.
When you throw a punch, it's all on the back leg.
When you're pitching, it's all on the back leg.
When you're squeezing a man's nutsack.
From the back.
Yeah.
When you're trying to make them.
When you're reaching back, it's all in the front of the thigh unable to have children
you really want to do that look at his forearm
strain he's really
you can see his
face he's like
you like that motherfucker is that the radial bone
it's amazing it's amazing it's the
greatest picture it'll be on
this episode's thing so follow us
at crime and sports if you're just listening to this that's fantastic yeah the definition of the man's body
you can see because he is squeezing so hard and it's so famous because this shot that i mean that
shot was in the new i mean front page you're not gonna not show that and guess gone doesn't want
to grab his arm because he doesn't know what to do squeeze harder so he's got a gun
in his mouth at that point or he yanks away while pulling like that yeah he's got a grip right it's
like at that point you just follow him yeah i think that's like where are we going it's like
an old lady grabbing you by the ear when you're a child dude that's what it is except same thing
way worse it's the soccer hooligan form of an old lady grabbing your ear
perfect he was asked by a fan uh by a like an he had like a i'll answer letters like an open thing
and they said exactly what possessed you to feel paul gascon's package and he said quote he was
annoying me and wouldn't stop and i thought I'd stop him once and for all.
Simple as that.
He was annoying me.
So I reached back and nearly pulled his cock off.
And spiked it on the fucking, on the pitch.
Oh my God.
Was that counting something?
I warned him.
I told him I'm a gypsy.
I said I'm a gypsy and I make a lot of money.
What the fuck part of that don't you understand? Obviously I will spike cock i mean where do you why do you think they pay me so much
being a gypsy it would probably be because this i'll rip your balls off i can lawn dart your dick
if you keep it up god damn it fucking unreal man so uh yeah they were uh they were really uh just a
really difficult team for people to deal with here.
And in 1988, they become a really, really good team.
They're in the first tier.
They're kicking some ass here.
They make it all the way to the final game, whatever, FA Cup game.
And it's at, let's see here, it's at Wembley Stadium here.
98,000 people.
It's huge.
It's a big deal here.
And they take on Liverpool, who are the reigning champions and kind of known as the best team.
So they're going to have to really muscle Liverpool here.
And apparently there were some nerves and shit like that.
And they were trying to calm their nerves here, basically.
They were talking about how they would plan tackles in advance.
Shit like that.
What?
Like, fuck people up in advance.
Yeah.
Like, ahead of time.
Okay.
But when we get the opportunity, we're going to nail this guy.
And shit like that.
Which is brutal.
But, I mean, they do it in hockey and shit like that all the time.
Yeah, but they're drawing plays to hurt people.
Yeah. What are they, the fucking saints no shit vinnie said about one thing apparently there's a big
penalty to to save a goal and he said quote we watched so many videos if dave uh beast beacent
hadn't gone the right way i'd have killed him so he was just attacking people here uh they end up
they'll end up winning
the game one to nothing really and it's like a huge upset and a giant big deal i mean this team
was in the fourth tier a few years ago and now they're beating the braiding champions and all
this type of shit and they absolutely just beat the shit out of liverpool that day apparently
and vinnie was a big part of it uh he said leading up to it they were all nerves he said quote we
were scratching the walls in the run-up to that game
so Gouldy, who was
Wimbledon's manager at that point, Bobby Gould,
gave us 100 pounds to go
down to the pub the night before to calm
us all down. Imagine a
fuck, that's awesome. That's the type of team
this is. That's like what John Madden would have said
to the 70s. Why don't you guys go out and
tear up the town tonight and come back fresh
in the morning. Go get drunk, blow off steam, go be pirates.
Be legit raiders. And then bring that
tomorrow. That's what they did.
Be a little calmed down tomorrow. They would never say,
you know what you guys need? To get shit-faced.
They would never say that to a team the night before the game.
You guys need focus. Get hammered. But they do.
Yeah, they did that. And now the other team,
here a guy named John Barnes
talked about what they did, what Liverpool
did to prepare.
He said, quote, they said their Barnes said that their lot was all bored before the game, having niggly arguments.
That sounds racist.
It's not.
It doesn't sound good at all. It's a little mini thing, I think, in English terms.
Some playing cards, some playing table tennis.
We were hanging from the chandeliers, ready, raring to go.
Sounds like it sounds boring. A real party, boys. Yeah, these guys are chandeliers, raring to go. Sounds like it. Sounds boring.
Sounds like a real party, boys.
Yeah, these guys are going out.
Sounds like summer camp.
That's what I mean.
Jesus.
And then compared to those guys who are going out and getting drunk,
probably getting in fights and tearing people apart.
So they win.
They're champions.
And through sheer will, they become champions.
I'm going to say Grace on here.
He has some peaks and valleys, but let's just say grace here.
In 1988, in August, he was fined two weeks wages and suspended for three games by the
FA for being sent off for elbowing.
This is amazing.
A preseason matchup on the Isle of Wight.
It doesn't even matter.
No, it doesn't matter.
And they're playing like non-professional. These aren aren't professional teams it's like an exhibition against the team
he elbowed a village postman who was happened to be playing some some fucking guy who delivers mail
he decided to really let him know that i'm i mean business and uh so yeah he ends up getting
suspended for that uh in march of 88 also he was sent off for kicking a guy in the face as he lay on the ground.
Oh, Vinny.
From Everton, a guy named Peter Reed was laying on the ground, and Vinny came up and kicked him in the face.
Unbelievable.
Which is nice.
And then the next time, again, they played that team, he got kicked out for an altercation with somebody else on the team.
So he really hated them, apparently.
He's not a fan.
No. In April 89, he was fined 500 pounds for making obscene gestures
toward the Queens Park Rangers players two different times in the game.
And then he ends up getting a one-match suspension for that
and then another match suspension for abusive gestures to arsenal fans uh also apparently he's
giving everybody the finger who knows i don't know man a guy in the fucking yeah the english
fucking whatever the shocker yeah my pussy or whatever a man that will grab another player by
the dick certainly has a dirty pretty vicious gestures locked and loaded oh he's dirty yeah
he's dirty uh he, he's dirty.
That's the kind of guy that'll pull his own dick out and just like wave it at him aggressive.
Yeah.
Just like he'll hurt him.
He'll hurt himself.
In 89, he was also kicked out for swearing at the officials and got suspended two games for that.
July 1st, 89, he ends up being sold to leeds united so this is they were kind of breaking that team apart after that 88 big season that's what happens they said
basically kind of it's like major league two yeah like the egos kind of got it people started
thinking they were hot shit and i'm the important guy i'm the reason we're winning and everybody
would think that and then they end up breaking up like a band right and then nobody makes money stupids what are you doing how dumb are you all right jesus christ so uh he goes to leeds united
and there they just sell players like i think there's trades too but most of what i see is just
you just sell them to people that's a wild thought i mean honestly if you think about it this way for
some reason it's trades seem like less, you know, it sounds like.
Right.
But at this, that's the kind of trading humans for other humans is almost worse than money.
Isn't it?
I'll give you this person for that person.
It's still being done by quote unquote owners.
Yeah.
You're still stuck either way.
Like you're still just still got a monetary value.
You're still a cow, basically, a head of cattle.
It's weird.
You're a head that they're selling.
It's kind of strange, but it doesn't matter.
So he's there for about a year.
September 30th, he goes to Sheffield United.
He's sold over there.
I think it's passed around a little bit here.
Now, he's going to end up having a son in 1991, a son named Aaron Jones.
And he has that son with uh tanya remember tanya he met when he was 12 when they were two and things didn't work out let's find
out the story of tanya here apparently they met when they were 12 and uh they he said quote we
had a brief date when we were 16 then she she went her way and I went my way.
And then in 2000, and then he said when he ended up back on Leeds, he said, I was away in Leeds.
Then I came back and signed with Chelsea in 1991.
He said, I had two of the football lads living with me.
And one of them looked out the window and said, hey, look at this.
And it was a woman out there.
And he said, quote, Tanya was roller skating outside and i went oh my god i can't believe it
and i guess he talked to her he said quote she was just getting divorced it was all meant to be
she's almost single almost single he said do i believe in fate it's all very spooky i was living
in leeds then sheffield then moved back into my house after four or five years and she was living uh next door but one so like one house over
basically that's got to be something yeah it kind of is actually i mean it's weird that they would
get together like you know when they're 12 and date a little at 16 and then live over there
i mean it's not it happens it's not it's fascinating but they end up uh it works out
beautifully apparently yeah it's a he's all about her though and they have a great relationship It happens. It's fascinating. But they end up, it works out beautifully, apparently.
Yeah, he's all about her, though, and they have a great relationship.
Now, he, before they, they end up getting married in 1994.
But when she, she has a daughter that was born in 1987 named Kaylee from her previous marriage.
She, after Kaylee was born, she had, tanya had to have an emergency heart transplant what
yeah hardcore shit she has a new heart she's a new heart like wow her medical 80s heart an 80s
heart yeah it's who knows what it's from what animal it's from that could be a goat that's i
mean i'm sure it wasn't uh like it is now it's all mechanical or something it was probably it was a
pig yeah or you know they make it in a peach then it was like a pig or a baboon or some shit they whatever was wild shit that they just stitched in there and
like throw some electricity and see if it works there's an empty cage at the zoo now
Mom, what happened to the African whatever the fuck?
The Madagascar exhibit's empty.
What the fuck happened?
Yeah, but Vinny's girl is ticking.
Jesus Christ, that's terrible.
Vinny's girl's drawn wind.
Oh, God.
Unbelievable. Which is good.
We want her to survive.
That's good stuff.
That's not a great heart, though.
That's nuts.
No, it's going to be some sort of weird 80s heart.
I don't know what's happening there.
But apparently here, yeah, an emergency transplant.
And he said, quote, you know, they've been together two years.
And he went to her.
He said, I went to her dad and I said I wanted to marry her.
And he said, you know what you're taking on?
And I said.
It's a baboon heart in there. Yeah, she's got's got you know we don't know what the hell's in there he said yeah i do know and i'm going to take care of her and look after her yeah i feel she was saved to save me and i was
meant to look after her that's what they said so him oh she got that heart because something needs her to be around to keep me that's that's
some fucking wow uh narcissistic sounds i mean also where the fuck about she what about her i
don't know that's a little it's all for me who got the heart here her him how did he tend to
how did he get soft sweet words coming out of his mouth. So weird. He said that they tried to live a normal life over here all the time, and sometimes they
would overdo it.
And he said, quote, we would think, oh, we got to steady up, but we don't wrap her in
cotton wool.
We haven't got time to think about what if and what about.
We just make the most of life.
Yeah.
So they're trying to have fun here.
Quote, we've been through a lot, so I just want her to enjoy life and for us to grow old together very nice uh they're gonna get married a little later
in 1994 they have a son here earlier than that so uh 1992 uh he he sets a record in 92 for the
quickest ever uh like card getting quickest ever quickest ever rejection in a match i don't know
if it's an ejection i think it was just a yellow card yeah uh so it's the quickest ever it was held for years it's
pretty interesting uh it's in 1992 uh i guess he had been uh this is fucking amazing he said he
didn't like dane whitehouse is his name so apparently he goes into a full sprint at him
before the whistle blew so as the whistle blows he's just running at this guy at full speed.
So three seconds after the match officially starts, he comes over and fucking nails the guy.
And that's he gets a yellow card immediately.
Blow the whistle.
One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi.
You're an asshole.
That's amazing.
It was a record. It just started. People are not even near each an asshole. That's amazing. It was a record.
It just started.
People are not even near each other, for Christ's sake.
It's insane.
He said, quote, I must have been too high, too wild, too strong, or too early.
He said, because after three seconds, I could hardly have been too bloody late.
I get all of those things.
Yeah, you got that.
He said, a few minutes later, he went ahead and tackled the same guy and got a red card.
He just wanted to fuck him up.
I got you, pal.
I don't know.
So finally, somebody broke his record here, a guy named Lee Todd, who got a red card after two seconds because he was near the referee.
And the referee blew the whistle, and it was near his ear.
And he said quote
fuck me that was loud and they threw they gave him a fucking card right there that's awesome
fuck me that was loud okay you're done trouble for that that's just a natural response you're
not allowed to curse at the referees really period yeah really not allowed to curse that's
an american i could be sitting in the stands and probably say something like, fuck me, that's loud.
How many football players will go up and be like, what the fuck?
Jesus Christ.
I mean, here, fuck me, that's loud.
It wasn't even like, fuck you, that's loud.
He said, fuck me, that's loud.
Like, Jesus, right in my ear.
So, yeah, you like that?
Well, you're done now.
Wow.
Goddamn crazy.
That's pretty impressive.
I would say.
Jones, this was written by a guy named Jasper Reese of the Independent in October 1992.
He said, quote, the image people have of him, meaning Vinny, is of a player who regards it as a matter of personal honor to intimidate the nation's finest, to castrate them with a shattering late tackle early in the game, to rip their ears off and spit in the hole.
Jesus Christ. That's a disgusting sentence that's anytime you're spitting in a hole right that sounds a little gross sounds disgusting a little disgusting and if it's the hole where your ear
once was it's worse he's into your brain he said quote this is what jones said about himself a
little later in 97 when he's hanging on at the end in his early 30s.
But he's still, you know, he's never the most skilled guy anyway.
He's decent, but he's not like, you know, whatever.
He says, quote, I can't run, can't pass, can't tackle, can't shoot, but I'm still here.
So in other words, yeah, it's all will basically is what he's doing.
And 1992, he gets in trouble here.
He does a video, okay?
There's a video.
It's fucking funny.
It's called Soccer's Hard Men, is this video, which sounds like a porn.
It does.
Let's be honest here.
Or a calendar.
Or a calendar, Soccer's Hard Men.
Right.
Or both.
It could be a...
A porn calendar. It could be a porn calendar it could be a porn calendar could
be like a pg-13 calendar that they also do a porn shoot on right on the side like let's get a you
know let's get a calendar we could sell in the stores before you sell some merch keep your
jockeys on for a minute let's get that there we go tasteful like all right good 12 quick shots of
this and then and then get them off and then let's go start fucking each other's in the asses all right let's go break out the lube once you're done with these pictures let's fuck them
off let's go nuts and butts everybody so uh yeah they do it's a vhs video called soccer's hard men
and uh he is like one of the presenters of the video. They pay him for it. It's a gig on the side.
And in this video, it says, quote, Vinnie Jones is just a product of the evolution of the game of football in Britain in the late 80s and early 90s.
This was later on.
Sorry, this was the narration.
As the emphasis switches firmly towards strong, athletic, and above all, physical players.
And they talk about, there's like images of him, you know,
knocking people over and shit like that.
Grabbing dicks.
I was going to say, they definitely put the dick grab up there.
And they would show, they'd show him, they'd have like a thing with,
you know, Paul got his dick grabbed.
And he'd talk about how, you know, he's very intimidating and shit like that.
He'd talk about how he's very intimidating and shit like that.
And he would be, I guess, in the video talking about squeezing his balls, talking about taking people out and how to do it.
And it's basically for like, it's almost like an instructional video for kids to be, how
to be a dirty, how to be that kind of player, basically.
How to be an enforcer.
Oh my God, I know who he is right now.
It just dawned on me.
Yeah, you know exactly who he is.
I know exactly who he is, and I love him.
Oh, he's fucking great.
That's the thing.
It's hard not to like him.
In my head, I'm like, why does that guy look familiar?
And I was like, oh my God, he looks like, and I'm like, oh my God, it's him!
You've seen him in a lot of movies.
So for this production, apparently, he's fined 20,000 pounds and handed a six-month ban from
football here.
Apparently, ultimately, he ends up being suspended for three years out of this, but I think he ends up playing.
I think that was the initial, and then he ends up probably appealing and getting it lower or something like that.
It was for his role in, quote, bringing the game into disrepute.
Jesus Christ, man.
Disrepute.
But basically, it didn't change shit from for him at all i
mean good lord he said quote he's taken violence off of the terracing and onto the pitch basically
off the street and onto the field is the way he put it let's put it in here yeah so september 10th
1992 he ends up back with wimbledon he gets sold back there and he's going to be there for a while
for a few years uh and uh he loves it let's let's let vinnie sum up his own style here he says quote
i had a great time when i was playing football and i think my tough reputation did go before me
but that's no bad thing as a lot of the game is down to a state of mind half the job of winning
is down to making an opponent think he's already lost before he even
steps onto the pitch it's not for me to comment on my footballing talent but i can't complain
about my achievements he's right that's the thing i mean obviously there's cheap things but
you it's got it's they used to tell tyson to show his power that's uh my stepmother's father was a
trainer there and they i remember the one guy that my dad, like my dad, a guy came over for dinner and he was
this big white guy who was a boxer.
And he was like friends with my dad or friends with my stepmom or something.
Him and his wife came over one time.
I don't know.
But he had been around Tyson sparring at that time.
And just when he said when Tyson was a kid up in the Catskills, he was 15 years old.
And he said he's just a, you know, he was a beast. he was a beast then he just you know he was nobody wanted to touch him but he was
killing sparring partners they were going through him like crazy so they were just trying to find
him and uh they would always tell him he said to show his power that was the thing show his power
show his power and that was uh so he would hit you in the arm yeah or whatever just so you'd go
holy shit that's scary yeah and that's what Vinnie Jones was trying to do, was scare you.
Just to remind you that I'm pretty bad, too.
I'm a bad motherfucker.
So, yeah, somebody said to him, a question to him, have you ever committed a foul and thought, shit, I've gone too far here?
If so, when and where?
He said, not really.
Not even the dick grab.
Not the dick grab, not the kick in the face not the three second tackle none
of that shit uh he said everything going off on no no i'm doing pretty good actually i think i
think i like what i'm doing he said every player knew what they were going up against when they
stepped onto the pitch with me it wasn't only the bad boy out there i wasn't the only bad boy out
there anyway there were tons of other players doing what i did and it still goes on now the
referees just kept watching me more than other players because they knew he was doing what he
was doing so uh 1994 here he met and he's tanya like we said he also starts international play
a little bit where he ends up being on the welsh team the team for wales i guess they didn't pick
him for the english team and his grandfather was born in Wales.
And I'm sorry, his grandmother was born in Wales.
Grandfather, sorry, maternal grandfather born in Wales.
So technically he can play on the Welsh team.
And so they take him in there and he ends up being on the Welsh team, which apparently isn't very good.
It's not very good.
They tend to lose a lot from what i've seen
uh somebody said here uh let's see jimmy greaves i don't know who the fuck that is
a soccer player i assume or a soccer official sounds like a writer chauffeur he does jimmy
greaves where is it great jimmy greaves it's very sad. Jimmy Greaves. Yes, he does. He's had a tough life.
He said, quote,
Well, stone me.
We've had cocaine, bribery, and Arsenal scoring two goals at home.
But just when you thought there were truly no surprises left in football,
Vinnie Jones turns out to be an international player.
So apparently this is not...
Normally you wouldn't pick a guy like this for your international team,
but he didn't give a shit.
They did.
He made his debut in december 94 against bulgaria uh there so i think they lost
against bulgaria too by the way uh then uh he was made captain of the team in 96 yeah actually uh
they said the the wales manager bobby gould who's his old coach from wimbledon back in the day as we
talked about who gave everybody 100 pounds.
He said, quote, we had a Democratic vote and the players chose Vinny.
They knew who they wanted to lead the team.
They were scared shitless of him.
Everybody had their hands over their balls like in space balls.
Shot the ring.
He's like, yes, sir.
That's what they did.
And he had the shorts on.
Yeah, he's the captain.
Yes, sir.
That's right.
So he said, quote, that this was a big deal for him.
He said, quote, I have not been so emotional for a long time about the appointment to captain.
They ended up losing their game 7-1 against Holland.
But people loved him, and the Welsh team loved him because he's a crazy son of a bitch.
The Welsh are kind of crazy.
They're a crazy lot.
They seem fun.
I've got to be honest with you.
They're nuts.
Are they playing second fiddle to London?
Wales is like the Kentucky of England, I feel like.
Oh, okay.
There's some crazy shit going on there.
I saw this Kitchen Nightmares once where they were both with Gordon Ramsay.
There were this Welsh couple.
And they speak a different fucking language literally they speak
it's a whole different language it's uh like he was listening to uh in the car listening to an
audio thing of how to speak welsh really yeah it's like a way to go talk to yeah it's sort of english
but not really kind of like southern american it's kind of english it's kind of american it's
kind of like cajun actually because that's like what? Yeah, Bayou shit is a weird accent.
But he was really into it.
Vinny was taking pride in it.
He even tried to learn the Welsh national anthem,
which apparently is really hard if you don't speak Welsh.
How bad?
Very difficult.
Very much like France.
Probably, yeah.
So, yeah, he's playing all these international things.
He tells people, I don't know if this is true, Probably, yeah. So, yeah, he's playing all these international things.
He tells people, I don't know if this is true,
but he tells people that he has a tattoo of a Welsh dragon on his chest as well.
I bet he does.
Probably makes sense.
I would think so here.
But they lose a lot.
He is sent off in a game, in his fourth game for Wales. He's kicked out after 27 minutes for stomping on another player's groin.
He's really after your dick.
He's coming for your dick.
They lost 1-0 to Georgia, the country
not the state, and he
stomped on a guy's dick in the mismatch
and got kicked out. So what the hell.
Now, November 11th, 1997.
It's around midnight.
For him, we're talking
liquored up, probably angry at this point. 1997. It's around midnight. Yeah. Just never for him. We're talking bad stuff.
Lickered up.
Yeah.
Probably angry at this point.
He has a little problem with a neighbor of his.
It's a guy named Timothy gear who owns a riding school in Hertfordshire.
Hertfordshire.
Riding.
Riding.
Like courses.
I believe it's a riding.
Got it. So I assume it's.
Yeah.
You know, blue blood.
Fuck.
Wad horse riding. You know, it's got to be royalty. Got it. So I assume it's, yeah, you know, blue blood fuckwad horse riding, you know.
It's got to be.
Royalty dickheads or something.
Prancing school.
Yeah, some shit like that.
So this guy here, he's fucking awesome.
All right.
They end up basically getting in a little fight over this.
Jones, Vinnie here, built a gate on the edge of his land to keep out motorcyclists.
Vinnie here built a gate on the edge of his land to keep out motorcyclists, but he heard that his neighbor here had taken part of it down so he could take some horses through the fence.
Don't you dare.
Okay.
Now, this guy, the gear guy, Timothy Gear, said that he was asleep at about 11 o'clock at night when he was awoken by a banging on the door.
Yep.
Imagine this guy at your door banging at 11 o'clock at night.
My fence is down.
Who did it
i'm not i'm closing the blinds 11 hiding right uh he had then he says quote he had got up when
the window of the caravan was smashed in i opened the door vincent jones grabbed me by my shoulders
and put his teeth into the top of my scalp he bit him in the fucking head he just grabbed him and
bit his head wow what kind of offense is that
he broke the windows of his of his fucking motorhome broke the windows of his motorhome
then when the guy came out he grabbed him by the shoulders and allegedly bit the top of his head
wow which is fucking nuts uh he said he managed to push himself away from vinnie and then was
attacked again are you trying to eat me i think you're trying to eat me here.
So he said that he was repeatedly, he called his assault a volley of abuse that came with
it as well.
He said the attack finally ended after a neighbor intervened.
He had to go to the hospital for a cut lip, a cut nose, bruising, facial swelling, all
sorts of shit like that.
And a bit head.
And a bit head.
He says that he you know
he said he's fine vinny said he wasn't drunk he said that he only had one glass of wine and and
part of a half pint of guinness so that's even more horrifying this is sober i could see if he
was fucking you know whatever he said it wasn't a fight it's not bullshit he said quote it was
not a fight it was more like a trial of strength that I won with my teeth.
That's the definition of a fight.
Yeah.
He said that they really said I didn't punch him or kick him or bite him.
Like he says, he said, we just thrashed around a bit, which this guy's not a big thrasher around her.
He's more of a beater and a winner and a crotch stomper.
Grabber, stomper, stabber.
Yeah.
Whatever he's got here so uh he
pleads not not guilty to occasion assault occasioning actual bodily harm and causing
criminal damage he said he threw no punches and didn't kick or stomp or bite him nothing just a
tussle it was an innocent tussle that's all it was uh he hired a hired he had a doctor come in
to say that there was no evidence of biting on his head and shit like that.
His defense attorney said, quote, the concept of a 32-year-old fit, strong, professional football player in the Premier League, as he was then, putting the boot in, stomping and using the tools of his trade, his feet, and creating just a few signs of a scuffle.
In our submission, it simply does not add up.
He'd be way more fucked up if you knew what he said here.
He added that, he said, Vinny's of good character and has no previous convictions.
He said, quote, he's a family man who devotes an enormous amount of his time to charity.
He said, this is a side of Vinny perhaps not known to the world.
That is the man, unlike the reputation of the hard man on the football field.
And, you know, he had his wife there with him the whole time,
and he's found guilty anyway.
A guy had to pull him off of him while he was beat.
There's somebody else going, oh, no, he was kicking his fucking ass over there.
He certainly did it.
Yeah, so he's found guilty of assault,
occasioning assault causing actual bodily harm and criminal damage.
And the guy's his father, Gears' father, who's 53 years old here.
He said, quote, I'm very pleased, especially for my son and the police.
My son is very relieved.
He just wants to get on with his life.
So, yeah, this is a reporter said, quote, I'm only surprised that it has taken until now for Vinny to get himself into serious trouble.
His attack on me was completely unprovoked.
I cannot feel sorry for anyone who could attack a neighbor in such a way over such a paltry dispute.
I don't know.
You tore down my fence, fucker.
Yeah, I don't know.
It seems like a dick move.
Yeah, I don't know.
Another neighbor said, quote, Vinny has been nothing but a perfect neighbor.
Even when he first moved in here, he asked us if we minded.
The guy had been nothing but a perfect gent, I guess.
I don't know.
He beat the shit out of this guy.
March 26, 98, he goes to the Queens Park Rangers, and he's a player coach at this point.
It's already over?
It's kind of over.
He's like 33, going on 34.
He writes an autobiography.
What?
Called Vinny, the autobiography.
Was he that big of a deal?
Oh, he's very famous.
Yeah, he's hugely famous.
The dick grab was...
A lot of people...
Yeah, the dick grab's very big.
And it's at this point where he puts his book out, and he is cast in a movie.
Oh.
Guy Ritchie gets a hold of him, and he's cast...
It's called Snatch.
No, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.
Oh, he's in that, too.
That's first.
Yeah, that's his first movie role.
He's a guy.
Big Chris is his character.
Yes.
He's in Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, which is a big fucking movie.
Huge movie.
It's a huge movie.
Guy Ritchie's married to Madonna at this time.
That's what I mean.
This is a huge deal.
And especially in England, this is a fucking huge deal because he's a huge British director.
Right.
Guy Ritchie is. So he's a huge british director right uh guy richie
is so that's a you know he's not coming over here in a some american movie uh he says quote hopefully
this film goes well and i will go for it although it would be hard to do all over again because it's
hard work there was a time i would have been on uh on uh on set at 4 a.m and getting home at 5 p.m
i was training going to the shoot training going to
the shoot but if i come to the fork where it is football or acting you have to get you have to
see which has the most knots after it which one is costing me money or which one's making me money
exactly uh he said that he's he donated the money he made from lock stock and two smoking barrels
to charity he was still playing football Which one has more zeros after it?
That's what it is.
Yeah, and knots after it.
That makes more sense here.
Yeah, so he says that he's kind of interested in getting into acting.
His first day on the set, he said, quote,
it was quite frightening at the beginning.
I turned up on my first acting day and went straight into it.
I was a little bit apprehensive.
That's it, he said. It would have been easier to come in before because i would have known what it was all about and i would probably have made my own sandwiches because they were awful he's
complaining about craft services that's what he's concerned about right so i had to stomp on the
craft services guys testicles you have sag insurance now and you're bitching about that i destroyed his
ball sack i couldn't take it i said fuck you man i don't care if you're union i'm i'm i'm roughing up your ball
bag sir get over here so what is this turkey and swiss no he said uh i had a lot of help and a lot
of people saying how well i was doing so i just carried on the only times i slipped up was when
i overacted i just tried to play it as I saw it and get the words right.
My goals will be people saying how well I done.
Them goals are a lot more profitable than scoring with a team, he said.
He said, quote, they laughed a little bit because a lot of people thought it was a walk-on,
but then some of the club have seen scenes because I have done a couple of TV shows.
Now the sniggering and joking has stopped and they're asking for tickets to the film. Yeah, because i have done a couple of tv shows now the sniggering and joking
has stopped and they're asking for tickets to the film yeah because he's a great actor they thought
he was just an extra so good i thought he was just an extra i mean this movie they're like yeah right
you're sure in the background somewhere but no he's the phone he's a real character he's amazing
he says quote romantic leaves uh romantic leads i will leave at home for the wife action films if
it evolves
that's what i want i don't think bruce willis and them guys are getting any younger that would be my
goal he said uh he wants to be a die hard to be an action star yeah that's how you make the big
money he said i said i wanted to be a footballer when i was a hod carrier and they laughed me off
the ladder now it makes sense yeah Knowing who he is in my head,
I can see him toting bricks
and being amazing at it.
And he's fucking real.
That's the thing, people.
1998, he is named GQ Magazine Man of the Year.
What?
Yeah, that's crazy.
I think in UK, but still.
He's a fucking man.
He's huge.
I mean, he's a giant star.
He's a big deal.
December 1998, he is in the WWF pay-per-view he's a fucking man he's huge as i mean he's a giant star he's a big deal uh december 1998
he is in the wwf pay-per-view capital carnage yeah he's doing wrestling here ridiculous he's
not wrestling so much but he's kind of doing a little thing on the outside it's a uk only
pay-per-view it's still the 90s this is yeah it's wwf still 1998 he uh i guess the main event
shane mcmahon was the ring announcer and uh made some
changes like you know oh we're going to change this and that before the match and made pat
patterson the guest timekeeper and all sorts of people and uh also made another guy a special
guest referee and i guess big boss man was put uh changed to an enforcer alongside vinny vinny was
like an outside the ring enforcer yeah the role they have
mike tyson will do or he was a ref when they had brought him in but kind of shit they do with you
could see him doing that yeah that sort of thing uh apparently they had a they had a brawl between
vinny jones and the big boss man which is hilarious yeah it's uh not many of our guys have fought the
big boss man who aren't wrestlers you know what i mean uh so then the referee gave jones a red card
and he had to leave that was the joke so he got ejected he's been ejected that many times he's
known for it ninth overall yeah ninth overall he's in history he's known for it wow uh march
10th 99 he retires from football it's done he's done with football because 2000, he's got a lot of shit going on.
He's in Gone in 60 Seconds.
He's in that movie?
Yeah, a lot, too.
The funny thing is, last night when I'm in Louisville and I'm finishing this episode
and the TV is on and I'm trying to find something to put on in the background, Gone in 60 Seconds
is on, which I've never seen because it looks like a piece of shit.
It is.
It is.
And so I never, But I stopped on it and
he's in the scene right there.
And right away, Nicolas Cage, him in the background.
I'm like, who is this shit? Is he on Nicolas Cage's
team? I think so, yeah. Is he one of the guys who's stealing cars?
The Sphinx is his character.
Yeah, I think he's... He was next to
Nicolas Cage, so I assume he's his buddy.
I wonder if he's like the guy that hires him to steal
all the cars. There's a reason that
they're stealing the cars and he's after specific, that GT 550 or GT 500.
What is that car?
I don't know.
It's a GT.
It's a dumb fucking Mustang.
Nicolas Cage pretending he has hair.
Get the fuck out of here.
Pretending he has great hair.
Yeah.
Not just hair.
It looks great.
You had terrible hair in 1988.
Right.
Go see Honeymoon in Vegas. Awful hair. great hair yeah not just hair it looks great you had terrible hair in 1988 right you could in 1990
go see uh honeymoon in vegas awful hair and honeymoon it's done it's done it's 91 it's over
for him hair wise raising arizona it's bad it does 87 yeah terrible hair bad terrible hair i'm
at you know it's gonna go bad by 2000 fucking gone he's tambor give me a break the rock holy shit an awful set
of hair in that bad guy yeah oh yeah yeah that with with uh that hair so bad bad hair he also
in 2000 he's in snatch as well that's a great he's so good in that movie breakout role bullet
tooth tony exactly there you go he's so good 2001 he's. Breakout role. Bullet Tooth Tony. Exactly. There you go. He's so good.
2001, he's in Swordfish.
You remember Swordfish?
With fucking Travolta?
John Travolta, Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Don Cheadle, Sam Shepard, and Vinnie Jones.
That's how it's listed on IMDb.
After Vinnie Jones, Drea DiMatteo, who is on The Sopranos.
Unbelievable.
That's Christopher's girlfriend on The Sopranos for years.
Wow.
That's how it's listed.
He's above her on the IMDb Top Cats.
That's a bad movie.
It's a fucking terrible movie, I'm sure.
But if I remember correctly, there are Halle Berry boobs in that movie.
I think that's true.
I believe that's why I saw it.
And I believe that's why everybody saw it.
They were like, Halle Berry things are top off?
For real?
Is that for real?
Is that that or Monster's Ball?
I think it was this it
might be might have been i don't remember i don't i don't think i saw the movie but i remember seeing
hally berry's boobs at some point it's a heist movie right there's a theft something they've
got to steal something no it's something to do with bullshit who knows it has nothing to do with
swordfish i'll tell you that sean travolta's the goddamn you know give me a break i know in other
movies and uh what's it uh there's a bunch i'm gonna give you a break. I know another movie he's in.
What's it?
There's a bunch.
I'm going to give you a list.
I'll give you one that I remember.
Is it Euro Trip?
Yes, he is. Yes.
He's in Euro Trip as well.
He's the soccer hooligan.
There you go.
Yes.
Which he says he was mad about that because he had to be an Arsenal fan, and it pissed
him off because he fucking hates Arsenal, he said.
Hilarious because I remember that.
He fucking hated it.
They're all wearing that
fucking maroon on the bus he said it was just he was furious furious about it hates them
he did great hates him uh he's in night at the golden eagle that's in the natasha leone movie
remember her she's like slums of beverly hills yeah i remember she's funny as shit another he's
in mean machine which is basically a British
longest yard. He plays a
convicted football player who's got to
play the guards. I was just going to ask, is that the name of the team
in the longest yard? That makes sense.
That's exactly what it is. 2002,
he releases an album.
Get the fuck out of my life. Oh no, he releases
a fucking album, Jimmy. What? Jimmy, this guy
is all, it's everything that crime and sports
needs here. He's fighting, he's crazy, he's making albums, he's Jimmy, this guy is all. It's everything that crime and sports needs here. He's fighting.
He's crazy.
He's making albums.
He's in movies.
He's nuts.
I'm actually sad for him now.
It's bad.
He releases an album called Respect.
You dummy.
On the cover, it's him holding an old-timey microphone from the 40s next to his face like
he's Frank Sinatra.
He's crooning?
Oh, yeah.
He's crooning.
Oh, my God.
No, he's not rapping.
He's crooning.
These are covers. these are covers these are covers bullet tooth tony is doing covers want to hear the covers he does because
there's 14 of them oh my god this is gold by the way these are on amazon you can get them
each track is like 99 cents you can get the you could it's okay i'm on a vial oh you have to uh quote number one everybody needs
somebody everybody needs he's singing that yes he's fucking crooning sometime he thinks he thinks
he's uh harry connor jr dance to the music which is the fucking glory estevan song i don't think
it's um no no i think it's the 70s one uh oh the uh the disco style kind of
yeah that's kind of funk yeah kind of a funk song okay no not a british guy bad bad leroy brown get
the fuck baddest man in the whole damn town really he's singing that which is a very american song
that dude's got bad bad leroy brown he's a southern guy and he's gonna sing that sing it land of a
thousand dances wait what is that song that's the the fucking it's from the 50s it's i don't even
know uh um where they name off all the goddamn dances i don't know it uh that's awful that
sounds terrible what why would you even want what are are you going to name it? Like the Macarena and shit like that, but obviously from the 50s?
It's a song that you know.
I can't pop in my head.
Do You Love Me.
Speaking of that.
Do you love me?
What?
What is he doing?
Now that I can dance, Jimmy.
It's just like he went to a karaoke night and somebody was like, we should record this.
He's like, you know what?
This is my this is my my
top go-to's all 14 of them but i can make some money uh dock of the bay what i don't even like
otis redding's version of that i think it sucks that's a shit song no matter who sings it
it's very repetitive and it's just a shit song i don't like it very boring it's michael balton's
even worse one this is terrible uh hi ho silver lining i don song. I don't like it. It's very boring. It's Michael Bolton's even worse one. It's just terrible.
Hi-Ho Silver Lining.
I don't know what that is.
It sounds like it's from
a Broadway show or something.
Shake Your Tail Feather.
What?
The goddamn ludicrous song?
This is 2002.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Could have been.
Number nine, Mustang Sally.
Oh, boy.
Or was that Nelly that sang that? I can't remember. I don't even know. It's so long ago. It doesn't matter. Could have been. Number nine, Mustang Sally. Oh, boy. Or was that Nelly that sang that?
I can't remember.
I don't even know.
It's so long ago.
It doesn't matter.
That's 20 years ago.
Ten, Gimme Some Lovin'.
Gimme, gimme some lovin'.
That's what he's singing.
What the fuck is happening?
Thirteen, Boom Boom.
I don't know what that is.
That's probably British.
Eleven is I Feel Good.
He's singing fucking James Brown.
What?
All these songs are like, a lot of them are dancing.
Is he a good dancer?
12 is Minnie the Moocher.
I don't know that.
And 14 is In the Midnight Hour.
He loves some funk, man.
The Midnight Hour, you know that one.
That's a great song.
Yeah, it's a great song.
But he's singing it?
He's singing it.
That's his album.
That's available for you people to get.
The guy that squeezed a dick, the guy who was in Snatch.
I'm gonna squeeze on a player's cock.
He's just...
I'm gonna pop his balls right off.
He just sings like he listened to the radio and was like, I'm gonna write down the songs
I like.
I like the songs I like.
I'm gonna sing them.
I think those were his go-to karaoke.
Unbelievable.
I'm being honest here.
He didn't even write a song.
No.
He didn't even do an original one at all.
Fuck no.
Or maybe.
I don't know if Boom Boom is original.
That might be yours.
Or his.
Not mine.
I'll tell you that much.
January 2003, he's denying charges laid against him by three Cape Town women.
Oh, yes.
He says they made a statement.
He said where women said that he groped them in a jacuzzi.
Apparently, it's a woman alleges her, her sister and a girlfriend and a girlfriend attended
a party in Cape Town where this happened.
And he said her sister alleges that vinnie pushed her head underwater
while a third woman alleges that he swore at her like he they say he like grabbed one put her head
underwater and then told the other one to fuck off basically that's what happened here uh they said
that uh they were they were thinking of charging him with indecent assault assault and other things
charges have been filed police took seven statements from my witnesses and, you know, he submitted a statement and
his lawyer said that he denies all charges against him.
And she, you know, I try to get an underwater blow in a woman to leave.
I don't know what's going on here.
It's very strange, but it's not.
It's far away.
So it's one of those things here.
So apparently there was an incident as well where there were similar allegations against a Manchester United official at one point by a woman.
And it's one of those things.
Somebody said, quote, before coming to any conclusion, it's important to remember that another high-profile British visitor is faced with a similar charge.
Well, that just means that two dudes could have been groping people, too.
I mean, that's not out of question that two dudes are assholes and they're groping people.
You arrest highfalutin doctors in Thailand for fucking boys just because you get two
of them doesn't mean that they didn't tell each other, I go to Thailand to fuck boys.
There you go.
Exactly.
A soccer official could have told Bullet Tooth Tony, I go down to South Africa on finger
checks.
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
You should go down there and get three of them at a time.
Three sometimes.
Well, you can take two and then you yell at the third one.
Right.
That's what I like to do personally.
They give underwater blowies.
It's pretty cool.
They can hold their breath a long time.
It's amazing down there.
I think it's because they're south of the equator.
Right.
Something to do with the air and the flow.
It's just different down there.
I don't know.
So they said that they were deciding whether to prosecute him or not.
Nothing ever came of it.
So apparently they didn't.
But that's what he's accused of.
He was filling the filming the movie Blast at the time.
But he's kind of getting a little out of control here.
May 2003.
He is on a Virgin Atlantic flight from Tokyo to London, which is never a good way to start
a thing here.
He ends up later on at Heathrow having the problem.
Basically, he ends up being charged with being drunk on an aircraft using threatening, abusive
or insulting words and common assault on a passenger.
Okay.
He basically acted out everything that goes on in my head on these planes.
Pretty much. My fantasies. He my head on these planes. Pretty much.
My fantasies.
He was drunk on the plane.
Been there.
Yeah.
I know the feeling, sir.
Somebody reclines.
You want to take your blanket and sling it over their throat and strangle them from the
fucking back with it.
Like a total piano wire.
I don't have a piano wire.
I'll use a shitty blue blanket they fucking laid on the seat.
It's got bugs on it, probably.
Take that.
This is what I could get from you.
Right.
Thanks.
This is all I've got.
Great.
This is all I have to deal with.
That or the strap of my backpack.
One of the two.
I've thought about it.
I could just put my backpack strap right over and fucking strangle my back.
I'll go up to first class and grab one of those pillows.
Then press that little button.
And then take that pillowcase and slide that over your fucking head.
I'll bet that'll fit tight.
Oh, yeah.
That'll fit real tight. Yeah, like we're kidnapping them and then put the strap of the backpack around
strangle them and then press the recline button so they pop back up again you go that's my fantasy
that's my fantasy on a plane to have to time so this is what i mean we have to yeah you gotta
relax is what i'm getting at and he didn't relax because i'm not actually going to do that obviously
but he had a problem he apparently was getting drunk and people he's in the first
class of this long flights from tokyo to london so it's a long flight yeah and apparently he uh
he's being drunk and he starts being kind of a dick and somebody told him why don't you why don't
you fuck off basically and uh so he said to saying, everybody,
do you know who I am?
Do you know who I am?
And then he grabbed the mail passenger and slapped him 10 times with an open
hand.
10 just paintbrushed him.
Fucking paintbrushed him.
Do you think he did?
Do you think he did it a lot?
Like real fast in a row?
Or did he like stop and go,
who am I?
And then hit him again.
I think he paintbrushed.
Do you know who I am? I think he counted out out loud like he was banging his head into the turnbuckle
one two three four he's like come on everybody and everyone's like horrified huh no i've lost
count then he told the crew quote i can get you murdered i can get the whole crew murdered for three thousand pounds go and do what you're
paid to do and make some fucking coffee oh my god threaten their lives do that no you can't you can't
say like a value no you can say some this is how much your life is all of you all of you together
like 500 a pop basically i'll fucking take you all out bulk discount that is crazy yeah they're
gonna just
give i if i do six at a time it's a punch card you know there's a seventh of you hold on you're
the free one yeah you i'm looking at you asshole that's right you're the free one i'm gonna make
sure that you're the free one uh a witness said quote vinnie jones was screaming at him meaning
the male passenger swearing and abusive uh he said Jones said, who the fuck do you think you are?
You are fucking nothing.
And then he would slap him about the head.
That's what he said.
He hit him across his left cheek on 10 occasions.
So he wasn't even paint brushing him.
No.
He was hitting him with one hand.
One, two, three.
Just over and over again.
You're nothing.
He said that Jones also grabbed another guy by the scruff of his neck.
Passengers and crew tried to restrain him, and that's when he, again, screamed out that
he could get the whole crew murdered for $3,000 and then threatened to, quote, eat the face
of another passenger.
He grabbed somebody like a puppy.
And then threatened to eat his face.
The scruff is on the back.
Yeah, yeah.
He grabbed him by the scruff And then threatened to eat his face. The scruff is on the back. Yeah, yeah. He grabbed him by the scruff and then threatened to eat his face.
Well, people tried to...
Well, 10 people tried to hold him dead.
I'll eat your face and I'll hire somebody to murder everybody else for three grand.
Yeah, but you don't need to be...
I don't need to pay for you because you'll have no face as it is.
So that's fine.
So, yeah.
Apparently, it was a passenger, Steven Driscoll.
He told Vinny that he was, quote, being annoying.
That's it.
That was it.
Set him off, and that sparked what was called in court as a frightening tirade of threats.
I feel like annoying in England is a much more insulting thing.
It might be.
Or Vinny's got a short fuse.
One of the two.
I don't feel like he's one to be punked in public
and told he's annoying.
He's like, you know who I am?
Annoying.
You should be thrilled.
Yeah, you want to hear me sing Only You?
Because I'll bust it out.
I'll sing it to you.
I'll croon it like a bastard right here in first class.
I'm working on another album.
You heard Mustang Sally?
I'm working on part two.
You've never seen anything like it before.
So yeah, they said the prosecutor said he'd been sinking sitting and drinking and quote became boorish and one woman decided to leave the group when another when jones approached this woman
to like hey come on back here sweetheart uh that's when the guy said hey you're being annoying why
don't you leave her alone and he said oh i am well is this annoying how about i slap you 10 times and threaten your life on the same side so he did this is amazing
so uh he's found guilty yeah of all of this shit basically menacing assault and sky menacing and
i don't know he's a sky pirate he's yeah fucking he's horrifying does that include the pirate the
pilot is that is he in the three thousand dollar club is it extra for him what the fuck is happening of the whole crew
the whole crew i'll get the whole crew murdered murked not even dead murdered
not even an accident or coincidence i won't pray for your untimely demise i'll have you murdered
specifically your last and the free one don't
forget that fat boy who's one like pudgy guy your last and your fat and your fat and did i mention
i'm a gypsy and i make a lot of money right okay thank you i can't believe that guy said that
that's amazing that's crazy so knowing who he is I mean, he might not have known who he was.
That's the thing.
Don't you know who I am?
I guess I don't.
That guy's going to eat my face, apparently.
So the judge sentences him.
And now I get to do a British judge sentence.
This is where it started.
Because he's very just upset about the whole thing.
He's indignant.
You, sir, may fuck off.
80 hours of community service that's pretty solid
and 500 fine what uh a sixth of a 500 pound crime fine and uh five 300 pound of of costs
and 300 pounds of compensation to the man he slapped repeatedly. He gave him 300 pounds for that? 300 pounds.
Prosecutors withdrew a charge
of being drunk on board an aircraft
for some reason.
He seemed pretty drunk.
Seems pretty obvious.
I hope he's drunk
or else he's a real psychopath.
Holy shit.
So he said afterwards
that he, quote,
regretted the incident deeply.
And he said that he would carry out
his community punishment with grace.
1100 pounds with grace. So he's going to live with what, Jimmy?
Grace.
1,100 pounds in 80 hours.
That's a pretty steep penalty.
So December 20th, 2003, he gets his firearms taken away.
The cops come to his house and take his guns because of this.
They said a spokeswoman for the police said his firearms license has been revoked.
It was done this week.
He cannot legally keep firearms uh he's apparently been a an enthusiast uh here because his father's like
a gamekeeper he's super into that he likes going on weekend pheasant shooting parties
with people and shit like that i could see him doing that yeah that's some some shit they took
his guns from him basically he has 21 days to appeal a decision. He eventually gets him back. 2004, he's in The Big Bounce.
What's in that?
Owen Wilson, Charlie Sheen, and Tony Dorsett for some reason.
What?
And Morgan Freeman and Willie Nelson.
The football player?
Yeah, yeah.
Tony Dorsett and Mike Renfro.
What?
Another football player.
And Morgan Freeman and Willie Nelson.
I don't know what went on in this movie.
The Big Bounce.
Let's find out.
Yeah.
Jack Ryan, and not him, i think that's owen wilson
a charming but mischievous kid with a history of small cons uh never nasty as he always approaches
life from the pleasant side goes to surfer's paradise in hawaii misspelled where dodgy
district judge walter cruz enlists him to get real big criminals jesus this is written by a
four-year-old jack finds himself teaming up teaming up in bed and thieving business with nancy hayes the greedy mistress of evil motel
magnate ray ritchie and his dumb lieutenant bob rogers jr this is a fuck wrote this and
a real temptress gold digger but is about the only one without a hidden agenda does that make sense
made anyone how the fuck did that get made owen wilson was like i don't know sure i mean
that's cool wow that sounds right i think i'll do it i mean we'll be on hawaii and i'll just
fuck all the girls wow good i'm i'm hideous i know i know. That's weird. 4.9 out of 10 on IMDb.
Next, he's in the movie Tooth.
No.
As the extractor.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a story of a young, feisty tooth fairy who lives in a world called Fairy Topia and
has lost his ability to use magic.
Oh, my God.
This sounds terrible.
That sounds terrible.
Yeah.
Is it animated? I don't think so what as a matter of fact get the fuck out of here but i don't know it's a 2.9 out
of 10 on imdb it is not animated by the way i just remembered the cover and it's like a fucking live
action kid on the cover not good not good terrible then he's Euro Trip, like we said. He's in a Japanese movie called Survive Style 5+.
It's got 7.6 out of 10 on IMDb.
Wow.
Might be good.
Also, he's in a movie called Blast that he was filming when the alleged diddling happened.
This movie stars Eddie Griffin, Shaggy, Tiny Lister, Zeus, Tiny Lister, Vivica A. Fox,
and Breckenmeyer. I don't know where the fuck
they stuck him into the cast there.
You can plug him in anywhere.
He just fits. Just to say some snarky thing
and walk off screen. He's fine. He's great.
He's going to be good at it. I like that guy. Good for you, Breckenmire.
Where's he been? I haven't seen him.
I haven't seen him since that fucking
90s. Yeah.
Late 2000s. Yeah, I mean, he was
really good in the 90s he's had bring
breckin meyer back give that fucking guy a job jesus him and the goots in 2004 he was doing this
put him in the goots in a movie together i'll watch it we'll put rick moranis in it hell yeah
we'll get uh who else is missing oh fucking uh i want ernie hudson in more movies i'd like to see
that ernie hudson in here too i'd like to see him in more movies let's get those four guys
the new ghostbusters.
Ooh, that's good.
Except Ernie Hudson doesn't have to be the black guy this time.
We'll make Breckin Meyer be the black guy, because he's the one who always plays that role in Ghostbusters, obviously.
He'd be like the tack-on.
They're like, man.
The guy that they just throw.
For real?
We're doing this?
Right.
This is crazy, right?
Right?
What are we doing?
Hey, he's like 5'2".
So tiny.
He's so little.
What was the movie that he was in with Tom Green where he was going across the country?
Road Trip.
That's it.
Road Trip.
He was in Clueless.
It's a great movie, Road Trip.
He was in a shitload of everything.
He is in Clueless.
Yeah, he's the stoner kid.
He's the dickhead, yeah.
No, he's the stoner nice kid with the skateboard.
Is he nice?
Yeah, he's trying to hook up with Brittany Murphy and they're telling him, don't hook up with him. He's a dirtbag. You got to hook up with the popular guys. And he's like, is he nice? Yeah, he's trying to hook up with Brittany Murphy, and they're telling him, don't hook
up with him.
He's a dirtbag.
You gotta hook up with the popular guys.
And he's like, what's up, dude?
Let's go hang out.
Being a fucking romantic guy to a girl.
So this movie's about a terrorist posing as an environmentalist hijack.
A terrorist posing as an environmentalist hijacks an oil rig off the coast of California.
Blah, blah, blah.
Sounds like Breckin Myers.
Electromagnetic bomb
over the U.S.
I think Eddie Griffin's a star.
He's front and center.
4.8 out of 10 on IMDb.
Not good.
2005, he's in Slipstream
with Sean Astin.
Oh, no.
So he's in there
something with Rudy.
This is bad times.
Pre-Stranger Things Rudy.
Yeah.
But as a post-Rudy
pre-Stranger Things
is a bad time for Sean Astin.
No, because he was right.
Lord of the Rings.
He was big at that point.
Right in the wheelhouse.
You're right.
You're right.
Quote, a scientist goes to the bank to meet a pretty bank teller.
His time machine allows him to go back 10 minutes in time and correct his approaches
to her.
I've seen that.
Like Groundhog Day, except not fucking funny or good or original.
I've seen that.
Or with Bill Murray making it funny.
All you can do is go back 10 minutes, though.
Yeah.
That's it.
He's shadowed by two FBI agents and the bank gets robbed.
Wow, great.
Next, he's in Hollywood Files, which is an Italian movie.
Hey, you taking your top off, huh?
What's going on there?
Hey, you taking your top off?
It's an extra 100 a year.
Taking your top off. 4.5 there. You making a movie then. Hey, you taking your top off? It's an extra 100 a year. Taking your top off.
4.5 there.
We're making a movie now.
Hey,
we're making a movie.
Taking your top off.
Fine.
We're all taking your top off.
Fine.
So,
he's also on the show.
He makes an appearance
one episode on the show
Extras
and the Ricky Gervais show.
HBO thing.
He's in a TV movie
called Mysterious Island.
Mysterious Island.
To escape the evils of the Civil War,
Cyrus removes his small family
and random war prisoners
by way of hot air balloons.
What?
His rescue...
So much for an action hero.
Oh, God.
Patrick Stewart's in this, too.
Action movie substitute helicopter for hot air balloon i feel like this is like a steampunk theme it feels like something uh 2006
he's in a movie called johnny was uh then he's in uh she's the man you remember that i do with
amanda bines and shanning tatum He's in that. I thought that was...
Oh, I'm thinking of Juana Man.
No, yeah.
Totally.
Very different.
This is the white version, apparently.
When her brother decides to ditch for a couple weeks,
Viola heads over to his elite boarding school disguised as him
and proceeds to fall for the school's star soccer player.
It's just one of the guys.
Oh, boy.
Fucking made again.
Same movie.
Stop it. Yeah. 6.3 out of 10 because people like amanda bines and channing tatum and that's
another one that he's what happened to that girl's career i don't know i saw she just got
engaged recently yeah i'm sure it's engaged like amanda bines amanda bines is nuts not her i mean
uh the girl from uh just one of the guys oh crap that was like 1984 i know whatever that poor girl
i don't know.
She's probably got grandchildren now, I assume.
Unbelievable cans.
She's got grandchildren and osteoporosis, I assume, at this point.
I don't know what the hell.
It's a lot of activity.
Yeah.
Get her poop on.
He's also in a movie called The Other Half.
He's in a movie called Played with Val Kilmer,
Gabriel Byrne, Anthony LaPaglia, and Bruno Kirby.
That's the last movie Val Kilmer's probably ever going to do.
No, he's in another Val Kilmer movie.
Is he really?
Bruno Kirby's in fucking, he's Don Clemenza from Godfather 2,
for Christ's sake.
He's been in everything.
Then after that, he's in X-Men The Last Stand.
Really?
Which is a big deal.
He plays Juggernaut in X-Men The Last Stand really? which is a big deal he plays Juggernaut in X-Men The Last Stand
so yeah
how about that?
yeah that's a huge thing
it's a big giant movie
then he's in
right after that
Garfield A Tale of Two Kitties
following X-Men
A Tale of Two Kitties
Two Kitties as Rommel
2007 he's in The Condemned with Stone Cold Steve Austin, which is a bad side.
How is he doing this, by the way?
He's crushing it, man.
Then he's in 710 Split, which is a Tara Reid movie.
Oh, no.
In 2007.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Also, Big Pussy from The Sopranos is in this as well.
No.
Oh, no.
Also, Big Pussy from The Sopranos is in this as well.
An aspiring actor whose career is in the dumps exploits his amazing bowling skills.
What was the last thing you expected me to say?
An aspiring actor whose career is in the dumps exploits his amazing, not bowling skills, probably.
I'd pick knife throwing before that.
Anything before bowling skills.
To take the PBA by storm.
What?
And becomes rich and famous, famous only to lose his best girl and his best friend.
Okay.
What the strength and honor a Michael Madsen movie. A single father decides to break his dying wife's last wish to not box again in order to save his young son from certain death.
Okay.
Michael Madsen.
Apparently, Michael Madsen, if he boxes, young son from certain death. Okay. Michael Madsen.
Apparently, Michael Madsen, if he boxes, his son won't die.
I don't know why that is, but if he doesn't box, certain death for his son.
But what a predicament, because his wife's dying wish was for him not to box.
I bet it was also for his son not to die.
So get in there and fight, dipshit.
That's not a big decision.
What year was this made?
2008. A 50- this made? 2008.
A 50-year-old man. 2007.
Oh, on a box again.
All right.
Hey, can you put that song on?
I'll dance around with the rays.
People like that.
They like it when I do that.
I did it in the one movie.
You know what I'm talking about.
What the fuck?
Line it up, Dan.
Michael Madsen.
Michael Madsen.
How about her dying wish was,
don't get in the ring in your 60s
because you'll fucking die
and our kid needs a dad remind me off air to tell you a michael madsen story i know by the way
he's a dick isn't he oh it's hilarious way to hear it it's fucking amazing so uh yeah he's not
gonna but he's gonna box again apparently next he's in tooth and, which is a horror movie. Uh, 2080 narrates the TV show,
uh,
called Vinnie Jones's toughest cops.
It's,
uh,
apparently on,
on,
on the UK.
Each episode is,
uh,
looking at,
it's kind of like live PD a little bit.
They examine the work of a different force in the country,
concentrating on dangerous shit.
Of course it is.
Yeah.
Uh,
next season,
a movie called hell Ride with Dennis Hopper
and Michael Madsen.
What?
Dennis Hopper.
He made friends
with Michael Madsen.
Think about Dennis Hopper
and Michael Madsen.
How much crazy is that
in one fucking room?
That's too much crazy.
If you threw, like,
you know,
Nick Nolte in there,
things would go off the rails.
Gary Busey.
Yeah.
I said Nick Nolte
because Gary Busey
would be too much.
It would explode
you can't put all that
crazy in the same
it's like very much
like matter
it can't occupy
the same space
at the same time
it's physics
it's just physics
you know who else
Dean Del Rey's in that movie
what
fucking comic
Dean Del Rey
great comic by the way
if you like comedy
he's in that movie
he's a great comic
this is about
two rival
biker gangs
refuel their decades-old rivalry.
You know, because everyone in it is 65 except for Dean Del Rey.
But he's a big motorcycle guy.
Yeah, and he's got...
Yeah, he can ride and he looks like it.
Sure, good casting.
Next, he's in a movie called Loaded.
A young, wealthy club kid's life spirals downward in an out-of-control world of drugs, sex, and violence.
Wow, okay.
The Midnight Meat Train.
Oh, boy, oh, boy.
Which stars Bradley Cooper.
That's, what?
And Brooke Shields.
What?
It's a real movie.
Sounds like a Brazzers.
That totally sounds like a section of Pornhub.
Yeah.
Like the spotlight section of the day, the Midnight Meat Train.
Some weird shit like that.
That's not even like
a movie that's just a whole genre that's what i mean it's a whole category that they have it's a
hey spotlight of the day or do they do i don't know so uh it's 6.1 out of 10 on this though a
photographer's obsessive pursuit of dark dark subject matter leads him into a path of a serial
killer who stalks late night commuters ultimately butchering them in the most
gruesome way imaginable jesus christ is is this is this post this is definitely uh post wedding
crashers oh 2008 bradley cooper's running this shit did you look at people's imdbs that you'll
you'll be shocked at how many movies famous people have done that you're like what the fuck is that
i've never seen that pile of shit they thought they must have made a shitload of money or script looked good yeah and
then didn't get executed right producer didn't hire right people director dropped out things
things happen my part things happen uh december 5th 2008 he's in sioux fall south dakota yeah
oh he came from america yeah no he's in hollywood okay he moves to california really oh he's good
fucking that post right up in the hollywood hills he's
like have you been there yeah it's sunny here yeah i like beach and sun so uh yeah we got beaches
so who the fuck wants to see yeah there's no line from snatch yeah that is a line you're right
who the fuck wants to see him well he wants to see californ. So Sioux Falls, South Dakota. He gets into a little scuffle.
He's at a place called Wiley's Tavern in Sioux Falls, South Dakota here.
Basically, it's originally thought that he charged at a 24-year-old man and a guy named Jesse Bickett, who then hit Vinnie with a glass.
Glassed him.
That's the original thought here. And Bickett's who then hit Vinny with a glass. Okay, that's the original thought here.
And Bickett's arrested for aggravated assault.
Different stories come out.
His roommate, this other guy's roommate, a guy named Juan Barrera, another 24-year-old,
he said they were playing pool when Vinny asked to play.
He came over and said, hey, mind if I play?
That's pretty cool.
I'd lose my mind.
Are you shitting me?
One of the assholes at the table, and this is, okay, you know what? arm said hey mind if i play right that's pretty cool i'd lose my mind are you shitting me one of
the assholes at the table and this is okay you know what this is this is i'm gonna give a lesson
here but and it's for the other lesson but fucking did you have you seen the video as a basketball
player i can't remember the fuck it is now making people say please making sense people like sign
this sign this he's like can you say please just say please and they said can you sign this please
and he goes absolutely and he signs he signs it, gives it back.
Just don't treat people like pieces of shit just because you've seen them somewhere.
That doesn't mean you own them or know them or can fucking.
Right.
You can't just.
Is it a basketball player that plays today?
It's an NBA player.
Really?
He was signing autographs on the side at the All-Star game.
Somebody was just being rude.
And he said, can you say please?
He just got tired of it.
Yeah.
Fucking I don't blame him. Yeah. Be nice nice to people you're just demanding their life yeah like fuck
you dude i don't have to do this i don't know you nice yeah i'm being i'm just trying to be a nice
guy give you something that'll make you happy you can't even say please for it the fuck jesus so uh
apparently the one of the people one of the younger guys said uh asked if he was quote that
guy from the X-Men.
This is this guy's story.
So this guy says, quote, he got offended by that and started pushing my other friends around.
He said he's been in so many other movies or whatever at that point.
So that's this guy's story.
Okay.
Apparently Vinny's on vacation.
His publicist didn't know what the hell he was doing in South Dakota.
Apparently he was there on a hunting trip, actually.
That makes sense. But this Bickett, apparently, Bickett's mother, the first kid, she came out to the paper,
a woman named Deb Bickett, and she said that her son had to have eye surgery for his injuries
and incurred hospital bills.
She says, quote, Jones doesn't want to run into me.
She's going gonna kick his ass
apparently um jones was treated at the hospital then charged with simple assault and posted bond
vinnie was uh now the story comes a little good card starts to unravel a little bit february 2008
uh this is funny the barrera and the two people he was with were arrested uh after police
intercepted two packages of marijuana reportedly intended for them at a FedEx office.
Oh, they're dickheads.
They're having big shipments come in.
They staged a raid on his apartment and found $18,000 in cash and a gun.
And they had a charge with possession and intent to distribute and all that shit.
And gun possession.
Yeah, we'll get back to the...
Their lives are fucked.
We'll get back to the fight in a minute here uh he's in a movie called untitled
who cares it doesn't even you don't even actually called untitled you don't even have the creativity
to give it a name they were like no one called the movie that yeah fuck i guess just do it it's
ours it's called movie i get next next uh next he's in year one remember that the jack black movie
he's in that he's the big oh i know exactly who he is in that movie. Remember that? The Jack Black movie? He's in that. He's the big...
Oh, I know exactly who he is in that movie.
I knew you'd know him from a ton of shit.
It's so wild how many dumb shit movies I've seen.
Fuck, man.
He's in Legend of the Bog.
Nope.
Yeah, that's...
When a bog body, a 2,000-year-old murder victim preserved in a peat bog, is disturbed by developers
in rural Ireland, an archaeologist and
a hunter and their helpers faced the task of sending him back where he came from 3.1 out of
10 i know oh it's a monster movie yeah it's like a shit like a like a bog man a bog man stupid
crap movie uh may 27 2009 he's in court for the bar brawl they have surveillance videos now and surveillance videos
show a bloody vinnie uh who's already been hit with a glass fucking pummeling a guy named juan
shervino the barrera guy punching the shit out of him in a hallway uh this is minutes after his
friends hit him with a beer glass and a beer bottle by the way they hit him twice smashed in
the head twice twice causing deep cuts on his head his head. The Barrera guy says the attack was unprovoked, but the Vinnie saying it's self-defense, obviously.
He said he was hunting pheasant there.
He said he was at the bar and people were asking him for autographs and he was posing for pictures with people.
This is the thing, too.
And this is why I don't fucking go out when we go on the road.
Because if you have a fucking bunch of people that like you and around you and you're in
some fucking shithole dump with somebody, the angry asshole, they're going to try to
fucking do.
So I don't want to fucking deal with that.
That were obviously no one's like, oh, you guys strangers.
But we do our show.
Right.
And then people that go to our show go to a bar.
Right.
And then when we go to that bar, they're going to talk to us.
I mean, they're going to fucking want pictures and hang out.
And that's great. We're going to hang out. But then there's going. They're going to fucking want pictures and hang out. And that's great.
We're going to hang out.
But then there's going to be a couple of fucking yokels that get pissy about it.
That's what happens.
They don't like that.
Who the fuck are you?
Yeah, exactly.
Nobody, obviously.
Exactly.
You don't know who I am, so what's the matter?
What do you care?
Yeah.
So apparently they saw him taking photos and all this type of shit with a bunch of the
locals because it's South Dakota.
No one comes there.
No.
So apparently after he's done with that, he went over and asked if he could play pool with the guys and they one of the guys said quote you're juggernaut from x-men you're not getting in
this game what does that mean i don't like juggernaut from x-men i take it very seriously
my comic book you're a bad guy bad guy basically yes uh he said uh another guy told him bullet tooth tony yeah
motherfucker do you know that did you know what that means bullet tooth tony was shot like nine
times they took all the bullets out and melted them down into a tooth and put it in his fucking
mouth yeah and that's why they call him bullet tooth tony he's a bad man no apparently not
he's juggernaut from x- and he's not allowed to play pool.
So I guess he said at this point, somebody else told him to go back to his friends, he said, and then the Barrera guy came up, and what Vinny describes as storms up to him and
said, quote, if you're wearing that L.A. Dodgers hat, you've got a problem.
That's what he said.
Boy, South Dakota's really got to step up their insults. Fuck you, rednecks. Well,'s yeah i gotta step up fucking rednecks well they're
just fucking asshole bored rednecks fuck you guys i don't mean people up there but these
assholes are and uh vinnie said that he said to him quote if it pleases you i can turn the hat
around he said he was trying to be extra nice yeah he offered to turn the hat around he said then uh
they started swearing at him and one of the men spit on him and then he was hit in the
face with a beer mug my word for no reason and he said on at the court he demonstrated with a water
pitcher what happened he said then another man hit him with a beer bottle he said and then
started cursing at him and somebody else hit on spit on him and it happened all over again
basically he said jones said quote now there's so much blood, there's girls screaming.
There's guys going mad.
I knew I was in over the top here and I was in a bad situation.
Got a bunch of guys coming at him from nowhere.
He said he wanted to leave because a woman was yelling that someone had a knife.
But the bar manager walked him toward the restroom to wash his cuts.
He said in the hallway he ran into the Barrera guy again.
And the guy said, Have you had enough, old man?
He said in the hallway, he ran into the Barrera guy again, and the guy said, have you had enough, old man?
So he said that at that point, he was basically.
Not yet.
Let's go.
That's what it was.
That's when it's seen on video pummeling this guy when it's all even up.
Have you had enough, old man?
Actually, I'm about to beat the shit out of you on camera.
That's what he said.
It's going to be played in court someday.
He said, I thought I was going to do what his mates had just done i thought he was going to smash me with a glass when he came
past and so at that point he said he beat the shit out of him that's when we're seeing him beat up
barbara jones had to have 70 stitches wow that's a lot of fucking stitches uh basically here uh he
still he's faced with a with a crime you're telling me that that a man
probably in his 50s at that point right yeah 65 wow 1965 he's nice he's 45 what year is it he's
born in 1965 this is like 2008 okay so a 45 year old man that's a 45 yearyear-old sturdy guy. Requiring 70 stitches, pummeled a 24-year-old kid.
Yeah.
A 45-year-old dude who's like a tough dude.
Right.
He's in the prime of his time.
He's got old man strength.
Yeah.
And is like, don't fuck with that guy.
He's been through shit.
Yeah, don't fuck with him.
He's got like hands that'll squeeze and shit.
Yeah.
That's a tough mother.
He's got actual vices.
Yeah.
That's a tough dude, man.
They only have open and closed tight.
They have two settings from work and shit like that they have rest and and squeeze and remove the hardest tops
and lids from jars and remove thy testicles from my body spike them on the pitch uh so he says that
he didn't even get to go hunting during the trip, but he does want to return to there to hunt.
He said, quote, Jesus Christ, hopefully if my wife will let me and it'll be straight
to the lodge this time.
My wife.
The court found out that Barrera in court, he had to answer that he signed a contract
with a tabloid newspaper to sell his story.
TMC.
And it had different rates, higher rate if jones was
found guilty yeah no if jones was found guilty or if he was not guilty yeah then he gets more money
because then it's you know it's more true basically so they found that out of the whole thing kind of
fell apart but vinnie still he's got to fucking get it together yeah you can't be fighting and
running around doing crazy shit in bars he's this is not good no it's not good but i mean
he's he's going he's got a lot of auditions It's not good. But I mean, he's going,
he's got a lot of auditions.
He's got a lot of things going on.
There's one audition he goes on here
after a minute
and it's a familiar place too.
He's like, what the hell,
what am I doing here?
And you know, okay,
this is the casting office, I guess.
And he's got a script in his hand
and he goes in there,
knocks on the door, opens it
and it's not a casting agent though.
It's Vince McMahon!
CEO of the World Wrestling Entertainment,
and he says...
How is it you've come to arrive here?
What the hell is...
Listen, I have to say this, but I don't really mean it.
Come closer, come closer. I love what is... Listen, I have to say this, but I don't really mean it. Come closer.
Come closer. I love what you're doing.
I love it. I love... We could get you. This is the thing.
Alright, we're gonna get you bloody, okay? This is what we do,
right? We're gonna get you bloody. Get your collar.
We're gonna get your collar. That's right.
We're gonna do it hard way, though.
Pussy cut in your own head. Now we're gonna have
a man hit you in the head
with a beer mug, right? Just holding the handle.
Rack you right in the head, right?
You're going to fall on the floor. Bloody, bloody.
But then you're going to go after him. He's going to call you an old man.
You're going to say, I'm not taking that
shit at all. That's what you're going to say. You're going to get
in his face. You're going to beat him down into the bar.
Oh, God, I love it. Take your shirt
off. Take your goddamn shirt off.
Put your overalls on. Put them
on for me. i can't take it
no don't grab me please let me go i want a poof in a in a poof of 1099s
and bad cat scans and cte laden cat scans he's gone and private insurance
dragged away in your own coverage. These people are very confused.
Yeah.
Very confusing.
He's in a movie called The Heavy, which is just mob crap.
It's like a 5 out of 10.
He's in a movie, a bad horror movie called The Bleeding, which is 2.9 out of 10.
Of course.
Bad stuff.
Yeah, 2010, locked down he's in.
2010, April 28th, he starts a brawl with a co-actor uh-oh uh yeah a guy named
tamar hassan do you know this guy i do you know this guy okay is he a comedian uh i don't know
he's an actor and he's a former boxer oh he's a boxer who broke his hand that's the only reason
he quit boxing really uh yeah apparently he's a pretty tough son of a bitch here.
They get in a fight.
They're at the Chateau Barmont in Hollywood there.
And apparently, Vinny attacked him.
Right on sunset.
Right there.
They were hanging out.
Attacked him, and the other guy was defending himself.
Apparently, this guy, Tamer, head-butted him after this is what happened.
They say called it just a friendly.
This is amazing.
Quote, a friendly bloodshed between blokes after a drink and a curry.
Oh, boy.
This is how people hang out.
So we hang out and we fight each other.
It's no problem.
Yeah, it happened. I guess they met at a restaurant and they had some they had an earlier argument around Christmas, apparently.
And then things sorted it out tonight.
Yeah.
Hassan, the spokeswoman for the first guy here, he said that he offered the guy offered to shake Vinnie's hand.
And Vinnie said, are we all right?
And then she said, though, Jones became aggressive and then slapped away his outstretched hand that he was trying to shake.
Vinnie slapped away his outstretched hand that he was trying to shake. Vinny slapped away his hand.
And then the other guy's lawyer, Hassan's lawyer, said, quote, my client informs me he was subjected to an unprovoked attack by Vinny Jones.
He regrets being put in the position of having to defend himself, but defend himself he did.
And Jones claims he was the victim.
Yeah, he said he said, quote, that he was having a business dinner with two film producers
and his wife tanya he said tamer or tamer hassan was also in the restaurant and the film director
took vinny over to meet him vinny offered his hand and suggested burying the hatchet which was
rebuffed yeah so he's saying it's the other way 2010 yeah 2000 uh yeah 2010 wow 2010 her heart's
still going it's still going still kicking wow said rather
than making a scene vinny suggested they go outside where tamar hassan became more belligerent
and finally headbutted vinny at which point security was called and he said then jones went
and rejoined his party and uh yeah then he ended up playing uh yesterday he was playing football
with the hollywood all-star soccer team as he always does on Sundays. That's what he does on Sundays
and there you go. So there was that
June of 2010
he signs on
to an American television show called The Cape
as a series regular
he's playing a powerful criminal named
Scales. Scales is
described as a man with a freakish skin
condition that gives him the appearance of green and
gold scales. Gross. which sounds fucking terrible.
Didn't do too well.
I think it lasted one season, 41% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Not very good.
He appears on Celebrity Big Brother, I guess, in the UK there.
He finishes third.
Really?
In this.
Yeah.
He did great.
Yeah.
I found a little breakdown of it, and it said that he was on this.
Apparently, when he got there, people loved him.
There was big cheers, and everybody loved him.
He was a favorite to win the whole thing.
But over time, people started hating him.
The public started hating him, and crowds would chant,
Get Vinny out on the final night, and then booed him as he left the house and finished in third place.
Fucking amazing.
That's a brutal show it's
terrible it's an awful show he said it was like one flew over the cuckoo's nest in there and i
was jack nicholson which he's seen a lot of american shit also well he's got to see movies
he's in a movie called inversion then uh 2011 as the cape movie comes out he's in a movie or tv
show he's in a movie called kill the irman with Val Kilmer, Christopher Walken,
and Vincent D'Onofrio. Wow!
That's a hell of a cast. I would say. It sounds decent, too.
It's the true story of Danny Green,
a tough Irish thug working for mobsters
in Cleveland in the 70s. Wow. That could be
kind of good. If it's made well, it would be good.
It's a 7.1 out of 10
on IMDb. That's not bad, actually. That's really
good on there. Who's the gangster? I don't know.
Val Kilmer, Christopher Walken. Who's Danny Green? Vincentcent d'onofrio's got to be some kind of gangster because he can
it's certainly not val kilmer he's got i wouldn't think so he's probably a cop or so what's it kill
the irishman though uh-huh so he could be an irish guy yeah we'll never know though he's fat by then
yeah and he's wearing like a bag dude he's yeah he's all messed up he's in the age of dragons
after that uh he's in you May Not Kiss the Bride.
He's in a movie called The Liquidator, which sounds like a bad fucking laxative.
The Liquidator.
He's so funny.
He's such a great comedic actor.
He's in Not Another, Not Another Movie.
That's one of those movie movies.
He's in Not Another, Not Another Movie?
Yeah, they just ran out of ideas there.
Wow.
He plays Nancy Longbottom in that.
He's a woman in it.
Apparently.
2012, he's in Madagascar 3, Europe's Most Wanted.
What's his voice?
As Freddy the Dog.
That's awesome.
That's fucking amazing.
The movie with Jada Pinkett Smith.
Yeah.
Around this time, he gets in trouble for getting
a picture taken someone takes a picture of him kissing a girl in a club and his wife gets super
fucking pissed because they show it on tv and all this type of shit obviously not happy no he's in
a real justin timberlake situation yeah bad times that something tells me you had to spend a little
cash on that get on instagram oh boy with your notes app. Not good.
Not a good thing happening here.
Bad stuff. You see a celebrity with a
notes app snapshot,
just a screen grab
from notes, and you know it's an apology,
and I can't wait to read it.
It's bad stuff. Something bad's going on.
This is going to be good. Oh, man.
And then he's in a movie called
Hijacked Freelancers and Magic Boys.
That's not one movie.
Those are three movies.
That's three different movies?
It's not Hijacked Freelancers and Magic Boys altogether.
It should be.
Three separate movies.
Then he's on Fire with Fire, another movie.
2013, Fractured.
He's in Armed Response.
My God.
All sorts of movies.
He's also done Living in England.
Oh, he's out of there now.
Totally done. He's been in America, but now he's also done living in england uh he's out of there totally done you
know he's been in america but now he's going to talk shit about england if those boys in uh in
new in north dakota south dakota yeah in the dakota uh south had they just pulled up his imdb
and then told him you were this this this and just read all these and be like no they would
have been tired by then he would have been fine with it. Yeah. He was just upset that they only mentioned X-Men.
He's like, that was 89 others, motherfuckers.
That's been in a lot of movies.
Jesus.
About England, he said, quote,
there's nothing to come back to here.
To me, England has passed its sell-by date.
It's not the country I grew up in.
It's a European country.
Now, he's super conservative.
He doesn't want, yeah.
It's a European country now.
If someone blindfolded you and put you on a plane in L.A.
and you landed in Heathrow and they took it off,
you wouldn't have a clue where you were.
In L.A.
Then he talks about what he gets.
In L.A., a bottle of Robina, some English shit, is $14.
But I get my Walker's crisps delivered once a month.
I have a box of roast chicken.
A box of roast chicken?
What the fuck is that? What are you talking about? Come on, England. Snickers crisps delivered once a month. I have a box of roast chicken. A box of roast chicken?
The fuck is that?
What are you talking about?
Come on, England.
No, sometimes we're like, yeah, right, that makes sense.
But that's not on us.
A box of roast chicken?
What the shit is that?
What is that?
That sounds disgusting.
A box of salt and vinegar, like potato chips maybe?
And a box of Monster Munch.
Crunch and Munch? Is this all just English shit that he loves english shit he's in a movie called escape plan with stallone and schwarzenegger
what what year is that 2012 13 no extraction he's in ambushed uh blood of redemption uh right
around this time his wife tanya is diagnosed with skin cancer, which is not good.
And so is Vinny.
Vinny finds a lump under his eye, and it turns out it's malignant melanoma.
And so they both have to get cancer treatments here.
And his wife, not only did she have a heart transplant, she's already been treated twice for cervical cancer.
God.
In addition, now she's got skin cancer.
Yeah, she's just tough tough man
you can't bring brits to to california apparently put them in the sun that's not gonna work man
they're not made for that no you guys no no it's bad so uh this he said quote i have to smother
myself with factor 50 now uh after my skin cancer. I lather it on three or four times
during a round of golf
and I wear a wide brimmed trilby
outside at all times.
Big hat.
Big stupid hat.
Okay.
I look like an asshole now.
I look like kind of an asshole.
Kind of a guy
that you'd make fun of in a bar.
I look like a Brit
who's a fucking tourist now.
Yeah, that can't go out in the sun.
He said,
we've been through a lot
with my wife and her health.
She has a lot to take. She has a lot to she has to take a lot of medication for her heart
transplant. So what I had was minimal compared to what she's been through. My skin cancer,
honestly, doesn't come up much in mind. It doesn't come in mind that much. My wife is the
one who's always on me about putting sunscreen on. She's doing fabulously now. It'll be 30 years ago
in May that she had her heart
transplant she's the most incredible person i think we're the perfect match and i was lucky
to find it and she took me back after i kissed a chick and got a picture taken i got a picture
taken of that one so clearly i've kissed a lot yes but at this point he quits drinking oh big
difference to him quits drinking vows to be healthy and make a different thing uh i mean yeah
because i i mean this is a tough time mortality yeah this and his wife and everything else and
it's tough i mean jesus i you got his wife i feel this poor woman i feel awful for jesus christ and
even him in the care i mean i feel bad for all these people jimmy i really do but not nearly
as bad as i feel for vinnie j, student at University of California, Berkeley.
Vinnie Jones, music director at the Greater Zion Church in Brockton, Massachusetts.
Vinnie Jones, precious metal electroplater in the Greater Bournemouth area there.
Vinnie Jones, worker at McDonald's in Charlotte, North Carolina.
Even him.
There's probably several on that roster.
Oh, a lot.
Vinnie Jones, valet at Ultimate Parking in Boston, North Carolina. Even him. There's probably several on that roster. Oh, a lot. Vinnie Jones, valet at Ultimate Parking
in Boston, Massachusetts.
So, you know,
there's a lot of people to feel bad for here.
2014, he's in an episode of that shit show, Psyched.
Psych, that terrible show.
It's in like USA or something.
Oh, no.
Is it like punked?
No, no, no, no, no.
It's like a sitcom piece.
It looks fucking terrible.
I've seen commercials for it.
It looks awful.
Redirected he's in.
He's in a movie called Redirected.
His character name is Golden Pole.
Oh, hello.
Well, yeah.
Puncture wounds he's in.
He's in Way of the Wicked.
He's in Throwdown.
Reaper.
Gutshot Straight. What the fuck is fuck is this vischistolistle
i don't know what the fuck that is chistolistle
vischistolittle vischistolittle v-y-c-h-i-s-l-i-t-e-l well that's vischistolittle
that sounds like a license plate for somebody trying to say something.
It sounds like the suggested password when you try to make one.
Like, how about this?
I can't remember if it's just a little.
What the fuck are you talking about?
It's what it is.
Hysterical.
2015.
He's in toxin.
He's in awaken.
He's in mercenary absolution.
Mercenary absolution, which sounds a mma card from back then yes uh rivers nine he's in checkmate six ways to die gridlocked which
wasn't there a tupac movie called gridlocked apostrophe d yeah this isn't this is ed they
took they're like you know what let's spell it right and then we can make it he's in a movie
called bite uh in 2016 he's on an interview show in in England where he has to be told to stop swearing twice
in five minutes on television.
I love that.
Just forget.
That's awesome.
He said, quote, it's hard to talk and not swear, isn't it?
You know what?
More sympathetic I could not be, dude.
I get it.
I get it. I get it. He's in a movie called Kill Kane in a TV series, also called Galavant.
And there's a movie called Decommissioned, Midnight Man, another movie.
He's on an episode of the new MacGyver as well.
2017, Cross Wars.
He's in some movie.
Also has a ton of drink in four years.
That's great.
He says, quote, more than anything, giving up booze has made it a lot easier for us.
And our relationship is a lot more steady about his wife.
He says in March, I will have gone four years without a drop without a drop of alcohol.
I'm annoyed with myself that I didn't give it up sooner.
At some stage down the road, people will see how bad alcohol is.
People talk about weed and cocaine, but I think alcohol is the worst.
People are putting poison in their bodies day in, day out, and the truth about alcohol
has got to come out.
It's self-harming.
Weed is legal over here.
He's in California.
But I've never touched it in my life.
The booze was enough for me.
I was crazy enough from the booze.
I was a beer and wine man.
I'm off it.
Now I'm off it.
I'm calmer and happier.
I play golf most days.
I'm up at 6 a.m.
The sun's out, and it's gorgeous.
What's he talking about?
The truth's got to come out.
Booze is like...
People don't know?
No.
What is he talking about?
I think he's talking about
the fact that everything else
is fucking demonized
and booze is like...
It's terrible.
Budweiser.
It's the thing of parties.
Hey, Kors Light.
Sponsoring the football game
and there's dancing chicks
and it's not thought of.
I see it as being sold like that but I think everybody knows it's really fucking bad for you but as society they're trying
to say it's fine the rest of society billboards just saying how much fun it is most people that
are drunk aren't having fun yeah they're doing it because they're sad that's what i think he's
saying okay um which i get and he's saying you're gonna demonize all this shit when this is fucking
way worse and i completely agree with that.
I totally fucking agree with that.
It's bad stuff, but I don't think anybody thinks that it's great stuff.
No, I would hope not.
No.
I think everybody knows that it's fucking poison and it's killing us.
Yeah, I much prefer the weed thing on that one.
Yeah.
And keep drinking.
Have a good time.
July 16, 2017, he says his Twitter has been hacked because he woke up in the morning to
discover his timeline was just all dead foxes.
That's all it was.
Somebody seriously hacked him.
Yeah, a picture of dead foxes were posted on his account, which made people just fucking
rip into him.
You piece of shit.
It was a thing of like a hundred dead foxes all lined up in rows.
Oh, no.
He did it. This giant fucking thing. Well, he says it wasn't a hundred dead foxes all lined up in rows oh no giant fucking thing well he says it wasn't they said it's all lined up it's it's fucking creepy looking it's a
lot of dead shit uh he says i just woke up to see these tweets uh with fox pics this is a hack i've
never seen this pic in my life and capital letters i did not tweet it it's a hack uh then um you know
people were fucking tweeting at him calling him a killer
and all this type of shit he says he likes to hunt and he says he even you know fucking he'll
hunt foxes he said quote you know it's legal to hunt foxes i hunt foxes i didn't fucking kill all
these foxes later on he said that he tweeted that they found out it was an australian guy that hacked
him so somebody did get him ongoing research has shown the picture was taken in australia and loaded to the internet in australia so one of those things uh then
nowadays he's worried about cte uh because he says quote you look at british footballers compared to
the american footballers who are protected with helmets let's calm down yeah you're also think
soccer is as physical as american football yeah i, we've talked to people about that.
People go, oh, they hit each other, they don't have pads.
Get the fuck out of here.
Stop it.
You don't, there is not a player on that field of soccer that is 6'6", 280 pounds that runs a 4-5-40.
That does not exist in soccer.
It just doesn't.
That is running at you with the intent of fucking damaging you.
Right.
And it's legal to blast you. Right. That doesn't exist. They the intent of fucking damaging you. Right. And it's legal to blast you.
Right.
That doesn't exist.
They do hit their heads a lot.
Right.
That's true, but it's not, it's apples and oranges.
You get red cards and thrown out for that shit.
I mean, you're not allowed to hit in the head in football either, but it just happens as
you're being driven into the ground on every, soccer, the goal isn't to drive the guy into
the ground on every play.
You don't have to get hit in the head to get a concussion.
That's the other thing. You can get hit in the head to get a concussion. That's the other thing.
You can get hit in the chest,
and your fucking brain slams into your skull.
They're hitting each other so hard with such force
that literally it's whiplash accidents,
like a car accident where your brain's hitting your skull.
You don't have to hit them in the fucking head to hurt them.
And we're not saying soccer's not dangerous,
and they fall, and they...
It is, it's just apples and oranges.
You can't compare the two.
Yeah, a lot of...
It's apples and oranges, that's all it is. It's just apples and oranges. You can't compare the two. Yeah, a lot of apples and oranges.
That's all it is.
He says they're protected with helmets, and it's quite frightening to see how much it pounds the inside of your head when you head a ball full blast.
That's the other thing.
Soccer, those headers are causing that, too.
They've been saying that for years, which is not contact.
That's contact with the ball, and that's absolutely something.
That ball comes fast. Yeah, it's hard. And he said there's definitely got to be something in it uh he says
he keeps in truck he tries to keep in touch with a lot of the uh people one guy he lost touch with
was his old buddy fucking paul uh lost lost touch with them they were pals after that he said uh uh
you know he's very by the way he commissioned a giant oil painting of grabbing his balls.
Really?
I've seen it.
And the oil painting.
He bought it?
It's fucking beautiful.
I wish we would have done this as a live show.
I really do.
There's so much visual.
So funny.
He said, quote, it's now one of the first things that people see when they come into our house.
Picture of him.
Mean old joystick.
Old joystick here. he said gaza struggling
with alcohol addiction i guess at this point that guy had said he died nearly died 19 times and
been in and out of rehab he'll have his own episode he said quote i've not had any contact
with gaza for months when i read about him and his struggles my heart falls out of my body
i feel very sad for him but i know uh but
i don't know what the answer is obviously yeah that makes sense oh you move him to your house
and you tell and you be a sponsor he says he wants to work hard uh he lives next door to tarantino
really so yeah that's he's making dough he lives next door to tarantino he owns a bunch of a bunch
of properties in the uk this isn't like. I don't know if he's moved.
He said, I left home at 15 with a black bin liner with my valuables in it,
and I started bumming around sleeping on people's couches.
I don't ever want to go back to that.
I've got a huge responsibility with family,
ensuring everyone's okay,
and that's driven me forward.
I have three or four companies now
and fingers in different pies,
so I need that stability.
When you're an actor,
unless you're getting paid
$10 million a movie, you've got to have
other interests. I don't want to be reliant on
the acting. Smart guy.
Yeah, he's the face of
Walker's
face of Walker's some shit.
The London Crisp Company there.
That's the one he says he keeps at his house.
Yeah, yeah, he's got that. He says,
I'm involved in the business and determined to make it a hit.
You've got to grab life by the balls.
Ha!
Ha!
Good job.
You bastard.
Good job.
Ha!
He's in a TV-
Well done, Vinny.
Not bad.
TV series called Deception as Gunter Gustafson.
Jesus.
That's very British.
The Gandhi murder he's in.
Madness, an episode of NCIS LA, Los Angeles there.
Did I just learn that Gandhi was murdered?
I don't know if maybe Gandhi murdered other people.
I thought Gandhi died from drinking his own piss.
I thought he was pretty old.
Yeah.
I'm not sure.
I don't know.
He's in Cross 3, and he's got four films that are going to be released in 2020.
Wow.
He's already completed.
He's working.
Working.
He's working.
Here are his film roles, his names. Okay. Let's already completed. He's working. Working. Here are his film roles, his names.
Okay, let's go through the list because it's hilarious.
Okay.
Okay.
Big Chris, Bullet Tooth Tony, Sphinx Marco, Danny Meehan, Rodan, Lou Harris, Mad Maynard,
Michael Kittredge, Killer, Winston Briggs, Henry, Bob, Sean, Johnny Doyle, Coach Dinklage,
Detective Bryce, Trainer, Juggernaut, Rommel, Smasher O'Driscoll,
Mike Sullivan, Ewan McStarley, Roddy Nightingale, Mongrel, Mr. Black, Billy Wings, Mahogany,
Kane, Mr. Hunter, Sargon, McTeague, Anton Vargas, Stubbs, Dunn, Brick, Gunner, Nancy
Longbottom, Freddy the Dog, Boyd, ballard sully jack varga drake lieutenant colonel
and brett willoughby those are great and they all i can see his face in all those names those are
all his that's not bad those are his fucking names very well very well casted absolutely so uh he's
doing that uh casted i think it's cast it's cast very well cast it's definitely think it's cast. It's cast. Very well cast. It's definitely cast. It's not casted.
But that's fine. So, yeah,
he's got all this going on.
The problem is
here,
last year, two years
ago, his wife died.
Tanya dies, which is very, very sad.
And he is
fucking crushed by it.
And I mean, obviously, he's crushed by it he they were
you know he really loved her it seems like she's got a tragic life man and uh yeah his wife passes
away finally from cancer and dude i read the article and it was it was him telling the story
about oh no fucking heartbreaking absolutely ripped my fucking guts out he was just so
fucking upset he was talking about his family
it was fucking horrible man it was absolutely horrible and there's one line where he says i
talked to another guy whose wife died 15 years ago and he said never gets any easier and i was
like jesus that's yeah he said he never doesn't want to get married again he's done with all that
shit and uh yeah he's he's uh he's totally he's done he says yeah shit. And yeah, he's totally, he's done, he says, with whatever.
And yeah.
He's just a mess.
He's a fucking disaster.
Yeah.
He's a mess.
He's an emotional mess.
He's going to try to keep it together.
He's got adult kids.
He's got an acting career and that sort of thing.
But now he's not drinking.
He's doing charity work.
He's got a, he's like the, there's a breast cancer gala that he's the keynote speaker
for and shit like that in 2020 in October. He's got a bunch of stuff going the, there's a breast cancer gala that he's the keynote speaker for and shit like that in 2020 in October.
He's got a bunch of stuff going on.
Is it breast cancer of the daughter?
No, no.
Just, I think it's just, I think it was just out there.
Yeah, it's just cancer.
Cancer, yeah.
His wife had a lot of cancer.
And so, very, very sad, this whole thing.
Very sad.
But that's Vinnie Jones.
Unbelievable.
Crazy goddamn story.
If there ever was one.
Minimal crime, but boy, oh boy.
He got arrested like four times for crazy shit.
He's got a life.
And a lot of it seems like it could have been...
Could have gone the other way.
Could have been crime, I guess.
Didn't have to go that way.
Didn't have to go that way.
So yeah, that is Vinnie Jones.
Now, before we get to the end of this, it is time, Jimmy.
It's time for...
Oh, the prestige.
You've heard the Oscars.
Like I said, the prestige of these things.
There's a lot of prestigious awards.
I mean, you know, people get awards for, like, curing cancer and shit like that.
The spotlights are hot.
The spotlights are very hot right now.
Yeah, there's a lot of...
Okay, enough pictures.
Right.
We get it.
We get it.
We understand.
There's everybody's... We're not that big of a deal. I mean, enough pictures. Right. We get it. Right. We get it. We understand. There's everybody's.
Not that big of a deal.
I mean, all the dresses.
The flashes.
All the beautiful ladies with their special dresses.
It's unbelievable, honestly.
It really looks great.
What everybody's, the pageantry.
Yeah.
And everything like that.
It's like a royal wedding, really, is what it is.
Yeah.
Nothing compares to the wonder of the 2020 Scummy Awards.
Ah, the scummies.
I can feel it.
It's in the air.
There's something here.
I've missed these.
I've missed the Scummy Awards. It's that time of year again, everybody. You can hear it. You can feel it. It's in the air. There's something here. I've missed these. I've missed the scummy awards.
It's that time of year again, everybody.
You can hear it.
You can feel it.
You know, the spotlights are in the air.
Let's get to it.
The scummy awards.
I can't wait.
Right away.
We'll start off.
We have a couple that are they're not competitions.
They're just they're a giveaway to somebody who deserves it.
And the first one is the but not nearly as bad
as award. This is
a person with the
most complicated
same name as an asshole athlete
that really, I mean, you're like,
people are going to go, oh, that's definitely him.
It's a problem. It's a problem.
This year it goes to Alexander
Emelianenko.
Poor bastard. A computer and accessory salesman in Moscow.
Oh, the poor fuck.
Poor son of a bitch.
He's like, I am not Grim Reaper.
I killed no one.
The Golden Gilretha Award.
Yes, this is my favorite one.
Which goes to the most supportive woman in a criminal athlete's life, going against all logic, self-interest yeah and any public you name it
helping yeah it goes to someone every year it's a golden gilretha gilretha was uh it was a carl
was it carlton dotson's mom oh my god was that the guy from baylor the guy from baylor i believe
that's where it came from or was it ray carute's mom i don't remember i don't remember it was
either way it was a murderer's mom it was a murderer's mom uh the
golden girl no no no it was uh god damn it it was somebody terrible's mother now somehow we forgot
that this year it goes to the namesake of the award i don't know how we forgot that it's totally
you know why it's 3 10 a.m jimmy i haven't slept in four days. That's why. I bet tomorrow I'll remember. It's Elizabeth Hart, who is Jim the Anvil Neidhart's wife.
Oh.
Bret the Hitman Hart's sister.
Okay.
She married Jim the Anvil in 1979.
Yeah.
They were married until 2000.
Wow.
You know all the shit that happened in there.
Yeah.
Complete fuckery.
Stuck around.
All sorts of shit.
They get a divorce in 2000.
Then she remarried him in 2010 yeah come on golden
gilretha it goes to you speaking not even close jim by the way his daughter uh is a wrestler now
too and holy shit is she beautiful oh yeah looking at that dude's face you would never assume he
would create such a beautiful woman and the heart family either you look at them too yeah yeah it's a she's making an interesting woman and somehow it
worked out well for him but good for her uh next up is the skip balis award for biggest liar of the
crime and sports because skip balis is just a liar just a patent he's just full of shit yeah he just
says shit that thinks that he thinks people will be mad at, and that's his game. So
fuck this guy. The Skip Bales Award
for biggest liar, first up
is Mitch Bloodgreen.
He says he ran a gas station.
I feel like that's a huge lie that you can't get out.
That's a crazy lie to do here.
Second is OJ.
I mean, Jesus Christ, OJ
purported himself as
this American icon. He's bounding over luggage at the airport.
And then he's murdering people.
He's like, I didn't murder nobody.
And he says he's not finding people.
What's that?
I'm going to find the real killer.
I'm going to find the real killer.
On the 16th, oh, it's going to happen.
And third, and this one, see, this one he's automatically disqualified because we did an episode.
But it's Lenny Dykstra because his criminal actions would qualify him for it.
But now he's screwed it all up by being the most honest.
And he admits to all of it.
Yeah, he's screwed it all up, and now he's not a liar anymore.
So he's disqualified from this.
The winner here, drumroll for the winner of this, is the first one, O.J. Simpson.
It's O.J.
No one's...
Hell of a liar.
That's a bigger lie, I would say.
Quite the bullshitter.
Quite the bullshitter. That's a bigger lie, I would say. Quite the bullshitter. Quite the bullshitter.
That's not my glove, my ass.
So, most apt nickname.
This is one of my favorites.
Solid ones.
Solid is a good category here.
Most apt nickname.
There's an extra person in this category, an extra qualifier here, because we had so
many nicknames this year.
I mean, we have,'s the here are our nominees
uh mitch blood green yeah it's a good one that's a good one uh justin the executioner levin's pretty
decent remember this is apt to them this is the best you know floyd money mayweather that fits
him very well and alexander the grim reaper emilia nenko these are our four now uh there's a lot we had the diesel white steel the
anvil dirty dick the hawk pac-man the worm the dock the big dog the atomic bull the gator the
fly grandmaster sex a rusty and mookie this year we also had nails and Yeah, it was before. But that's a shitload. Yeah. So the winner in this one, it's a tie.
Yeah.
It's a tie.
It's a tie.
The Grim Reapers automatically disqualify because he didn't actually reap anybody.
No death there.
No murder.
Floyd Money Mayweather is one.
He's got a shitload.
Got a shitload of money, like $400 million.
And Justin the Executioner Levens because he killed people.
He did.
So there you go. That works there. I say that's because he killed people. So there you go.
That works.
I say that's the guy that wins.
That's a tie.
Well, money, too.
If he didn't have $400 million, I would say it's a runaway.
But he's really apt, that nickname.
I want to see him go broke so that Justin wins.
Absolutely.
Now, least apt nickname.
This is a new award.
New award here for everybody.
There's a couple of new ones this time. Le least apt nickname. This is a new award. New award here for everybody. There's a couple of new ones this time.
Least apt nickname.
This is a nickname that doesn't describe the person the best.
First, Doc Gooden.
That man is not a doctor of any sort.
No.
Of any kind.
There are drugs involved.
Dwight Doc Gooden.
Yes, he's a doctor of cocaine, maybe, but outside of that, nothing else.
The Atomic Bull.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It doesn't even make sense.
I don't know if radiation was involved or what.
The bull sort of does.
Fly Williams.
He's toothless.
There's nothing fly about that.
He has no teeth.
That's not fly.
I'm sorry.
And finally, Grandmaster Sexay.
Brian Christopher Wall, which is another one.
The sexiest racist on earth.
Winner here.
Winner is Grandmaster Sexay.
Because it doesn't make sense.
Was neither a Grandmaster nor Sexay.
So we're going to say not him.
You win and lose at the same time, Brian.
Sorry about that.
You get nothing.
You get nothing.
Good day, sir.
Good day to you, sir.
Now, let's see here.
We now have the award for the,
this is a very prestigious award
this is a big one this is a lot of the big dogs fighting for this one a lot of money involved in
this one a lot of campaigning things like that like full page ads and variety and things of
that nature podcast magazines you know how it goes here you know they'll they'll campaign these
these big shots this is for the top silver-haired
middle-aged white man award this is very big and prestigious because who's the worst who has
facilitated the most fuckery right uh first up dana white yeah of the ufz he's been under the
radar on this one the last couple years and he runs the name in a word from the phrase is in his
name yeah this well he repeatedly says the ufc doesn't put up
with criminal behavior and then hires people who beat the shit out of their wives so that's a
you know and i'm dry all sorts of shit that he does hypocrisy there's a lot of hypocrisy it's
deep with him next up johnny cochran yeah for getting oj off of a murder charge i mean that's
that's as silver as you get i mean they had they had dead to rights, and he got them off.
There's never been anyone.
That's amazing.
Pretty good.
That's good.
And finally, Fritz von Erich, Kerry von Erich's father, for ignoring all of his son's drug problems because they were selling lots of tickets at the time.
So he just said, don't say anything, which made him tumble into a suicidal funk because he was arrested for drugs a whole bunch.
Not good.
Very silver.
To line his own pockets.
All of his kids, really, did it all for him.
Oh, he did it for everybody.
Ruined everybody for his own benefit.
Lined his pockets.
And that's all three of these people have been detrimental,
put out people detrimental to society to line their own pockets.
And the winner here, the winner here here the winner here you know it's
dana white uh because it continues to happen the other two aren't an issue right they're both
fucking dead and he has supported so many and the other two both had brain cancer weird right
brain cancer brain cancer still fucking up dana white you win asshole enjoy uh next up oh this is
a good one this is this is one the athletes are vying for.
They want this one bad.
It's a really it's important.
It's an important award.
Very important.
Very prestigious for the athletes themselves.
This is the award for dumbest scumbag.
This is dumbest.
Just pure.
Yeah.
Dumb.
Lowest IQ.
Lowest just by action.
Lowest criminal acumen.
Yes. By their actions. What has you know action. Lowest criminal acumen. Yes.
By their actions.
What has, you know, I can't test them.
I don't know what they are on the inside, but what have they shown the world?
We've deciphered.
First up, Nate Newton.
Yeah.
Busted for the same exact thing on the same exact fucking road in the same fucking car.
You're an idiot.
I'm sorry.
That's just dumb as shit.
Oh, damn.
They got me again.
Idiot. Second up, Todd Carney's just dumb as shit. Oh, damn. They got me again. Idiot.
Second up, Todd Carney for pissing in his own mouth and posting and having that be like
his calling card fucking gif.
Every time he posts something on Twitter, people tweet that at him.
That's what I mean.
I don't care what you are.
There's nothing as dumb as pissing in your own mouth.
That's pretty stupid.
And third, he's a close one here,
Chris Washburn, who thought
he was amphibious, which is
amazing. With his straight face, he
told the assembled press
that he's a scoring threat
because of his amphibiousness.
So that's pretty impressive.
Winner here, Todd Carney.
I gotta give it to Todd Carney.
You can't piss in your own face.
I mean, Nate Newton was stupid, but weed shouldn't even be a crime.
Pissing in your mouth is always stupid.
There's never a time when that's okay.
Like, well, I mean, you should piss in your mouth sometimes.
There's never been a very rich, very successful man who's ever had a picture of himself pissing in his own face.
Never, where people are like, that man.
Let's put him on the board.
That's our guy.
That's our guy.
That's never happened.
Now, the next one,
this is another very big,
very big award here.
They just get bigger now.
This is like we've got best actor,
best actress,
and then best director,
best picture.
We're going up right through this.
This is Longest Fall from Grace.
Oh, Jesus.
This is Where Were You, Your Highest High, and The Lowest Low. There you go. up right through this this is longest fall from grace oh jesus this is where were you highest
highest high and the lowest low there you go uh first up uh oj simpson i mean from nordberg right
to absolutely despised pariah of society is a huge fucking difference but most beloved most
fucking hated you don't do that uh Second up, Todd Marinovich.
Now, Todd Marinovich kind of represents all that crime and sports is.
So depressing.
The athlete is a kid forced to do things, and it all fell apart.
The cops knew his name.
Todd, stop!
Todd!
No, we know it's you, Todd, not you again.
But Todd, I mean, he was on the cover of fucking magazines in the eighth grade about what
i mean you don't get he was so high up there he was the perfect they called him robo quarterback
perfect guy and third also carrie von eric who went from being i mean watch uh just look up
world-class wrestling carrie von eric 1984 find a video of him entering the ring. It sounds like teenage girls' heads all exploded.
It's crazy what a teen fucking matinee idol he was at one point.
And then six years later, he is a fucking pill junkie that blows his brains out.
Or his chest, actually.
Fucking complete disaster there.
Winner here, it's OJ. There's not disaster there uh winner here it's oj yeah there's
not even a drum roll necessary no need the farthest fall pretty much as anyone's ever had
from grace ever in our entire fucking country so good job oj he's really coming home we're gonna
have to get him like a cart to take his shit home and at the end of the night because he's really
loading him up he is a champ tonight, I got to say here.
Next up here, this is, again, prestigious.
The guys, they push for this.
They fight their whole careers to get this award.
This is the Cracked Egg Award for the most brain damage,
just the most brain damage possible here.
Now, this year's contestants are nominees this year uh first uh lb
byers the hockey player a lot of brain damage going on there that was some bad stuff happening
now second up dirty dick slater the wrestler who forgot he stabbed his girlfriend completely
and i believe him everyone he did not know he did that. He forgot.
That's how fucked up his head is.
He forgot stabbing.
That sticks out in your head.
It does.
OJ's like, I should have tried that shit.
You could just say you forgot. You could just say forget?
Fuck, man, I've been hitting the head a lot.
You used to see my games?
Shit, man.
Helmets were terrible in the 60s and 70s, goddammit.
And third, John Cordick, who's the hockey player whose head was so fucked up.
Oh, my God.
That, I mean, between the steroids and the brain damage and the headaches and the drugs.
And he ended up dying at 27 in a hospital room or in a hotel room.
Basically, yeah.
In an ambulance.
$100 a night room.
$100 a night shithole with just disgusting.
The whole thing was terrible.
All kind of based on this cloudy brain
that he had here winner of this one john cordick i mean it caused his death for god's sake the other
two guys are still walking around so it took him it took john cordick that was a very sad story
next up we have another new award yeah this is a new one here uh this is the mandy maloon award
oh we're giving mandy an award we're
naming an honorary award after mandy for actually contributing something positive to society turning
it around not only turning it around not just for yourself actually doing shit for other people and
being a contributor and she is she's out there trying to help take down diddlers and these terrible assholes who are systematically just destroying, grooming and taking advantage of horrible things to these children.
So good for you, Mandy.
This year's award winner for that.
It's not a competition.
It's a giveaway.
Nobody gets it.
Everybody was terrible this year.
Nobody deserves it.
That said, hopefully next year, Mandy's going to get she's going to put it on her shelf.
She's going to get the award until someone else deserves it, too. Otherwise, it's We'll send it back to Mandy. Mandy's going to get it. She's going to put it on her shelf. She's going to get the award until someone else deserves it, too.
Otherwise, it's just going to go back to Mandy.
So congrats, Mandy.
It's one of the good ones, actually.
Now, here's another one.
There's only a few left.
This is coming to the end here.
It's getting more and more.
Yeah.
A lot of nerves.
Down to the water.
I'm looking over the assemblage of everybody.
There's a lot of nerves going on.
A lot of people taking extra sips of their drinks, keeping their mouths moist in case they're going to have to make a speech.
You never know.
This one is most likely to have a second crime in sports episode.
This is a good one.
Number one, Nile Ranger, the soccer player from the UK who was arrested just so many times.
Yeah.
Over 20 times, I believe.
And he's really young.
This all happened in a very young.
Yeah, he's like under 30.
So this is just, I mean, he's in prime arresting time right now.
He's a top 30 under 30.
Oh, big time.
30 under 30.
Huge.
Next up, OJ.
I feel like he's got a little left in the tank.
I'm not going to lie to you.
He's got to fuck up, right? He's out. He's got
a lot of energy. You see him on Twitter. A lot of
energy. He's going to have to put that into something.
And it's going to be destructive based on
what we've seen before. Might go desperate.
It's possible. And third, BJ Penn.
A lot of fuck up left in that guy.
He's getting arrested constantly.
He's got a lot of stuff.
I think a couple times
since we've had an episode. He's had some problems.
So he's he's in the mix here.
And the winner of this one is a close one.
Right.
In a squeaker.
Nile Ranger.
Oh, he's coming through.
Pure age.
Pure age.
Just the opportunity and potential alone.
OJ could drop dead.
Right.
Have an episode.
B.J.
Time.
Yeah.
B.J.
Penn could be, you know, brain damage in a hospital.
He could hit a tree and die.
Nile Ranger could fuck up for 20 more years.
He's got a lot more fuck up in him.
I feel like so.
Good for you, Nile.
Take that one home back to the UK with you.
An international one.
Good for you guys.
There you go.
You bastards.
You limey fucks.
You got yourselves an award.
Now, next up again, very prestigious people People fighting. The amount of politicking and angling I got of just people trying to be nominated for this award.
It was just ridiculous.
It was too much.
This is person you'd least want to date your daughter.
Very good award here.
Very good award.
This is a 52-way tie.
It's a lot of different ties.
No, three.
A couple of them stand out here uh first cecil the diesel collins yeah or as we named him the sleeper creeper as we remember
where he would break into women's homes and when it's dark rope him up and do all sorts of weird
buttholes and shit weird stuff going on there no one wants him in the house you can't fall asleep
ever jesus christ second up on this one david tyner who killed a bunch of women uh was in on Weird stuff going on there. No one wants him in the house. You can't fall asleep ever. Jesus Christ.
Second up on this one, David Tyner, who killed a bunch of women.
I was in on that murder of the Cat House.
Remember her?
That was David Tyner.
You don't want anyone near him.
He's killing all sorts of women.
And third, OJ.
Of course.
I mean, it's OJ.
You don't want your daughter going out with OJ.
He's going to kill her.
Beat her.
At least beat her and then kill her.
One of the two. Police are involved. Something something bad's gonna happen is what i'm getting
at and uh winner of this one is again a squeaker it's a tie yeah it's a tie it is uh oj and david
tyner i mean this he was groping the sleeper creeper and everything but they were taking
lives they're taking lives i mean that's that's come, you can't compare to that. Indiscriminate lives.
Indiscriminate.
Now, next up here, this award,
this is an award where we're rooting for someone to be better.
We want this to work.
This is the, quote, please turn it around
award. Please.
We're rooting for one in the past
by Ron LaFleur. This is people
we like and we just want it to be better.
We're like, come on, man.
Number one here, three nominees.
Number one, Mookie Blaylock.
Yeah.
I loved Mookie Blaylock.
I love him still.
I didn't want that bad shit to happen to him or him to kill people.
Right.
I don't want any of that to happen.
Turn it around, Mookie.
Stop drinking.
Fix it, you fuck.
Stop drinking.
Yeah.
Stop driving, stop drinking.
Get Uber and stop drinking and we're going to be good with you.
Call your kids you call your kids
call your kids
that's right
and number second
Doc Gooden
come on man
Doc you're a fucking
phenom
and it seemed like
you were doing so great
a phenom
totally burned out
from coke
came back
threw a no hitter
won the world series champion
all this type of shit
and you're back in the toilet
come on Doc
we want good things to happen to Doc Gooden.
And number three, Todd Marinovich.
Yeah.
I'd feel terrible for Todd.
They were giving him fucking kidneys to chew on as a baby when he was teething.
He never had a chance.
Frozen kidney suckers.
He never had a chance, and he just keeps fucking up, and I want him to turn it around so bad.
Now, John Cordick would have been the winner, but he's dead.
It's impossible for him to turn it around.
So the winner here, it's another tie.
This is amazing.
Oh, come on, Marinovich.
The panels, when you get a panel,
the distinguished panel of Frankie and Benny,
sometimes they can't agree on anything.
That's what happens here.
It's a tie between Doc Gooden and Todd Marinovich.
I really want those two together.
I'd really like to see Todd be on TV or something.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
At least giving the job of something where he's got...
If this guy doesn't do this right, he's going to be me.
Man, something I want to happen.
Next up, there's only three more left here.
Next up here is a new award that we're giving away for the first time this year.
This is the Lenny Dykstra I'm Good Now Award.
This is for someone who they get it.
They even have a sense of humor about it.
I think they understand what's happening, where they went wrong,
and they're not going to be mad about it or anything like that.
They shrug and they go, you know what?
Sometimes people fuck up and I'm working on it now.
Eat dicks, fella.
That's this award.
It's a good award to get.
Now, the winner of this one,
Dennis Rodman had it in his hand.
Literally, I was about to hand it to him
and then I saw that he's been arrested
since we did the episode.
I'm like, God damn it, Dennis.
I thought,
because he's got a sense of humor,
shit like that.
So I'm going to give it to a guy.
I'm not sure that he would, but I'm going to give it to Nate Newton.
I feel like Nate Newton, if you sat down with him and you gave him a big slab of ribs or something,
a bunch of food, just a hamburger the size of a dinner plate,
and you sat down with him and you said, man, what about that weed?
He'd go, what the fuck was that?
Damn, same road.
I feel like he would be okay with it but that's that's
precarious though but the lenny dykstra award's going to nate that's fine uh next up this two
left guys these are big uh next up most likely to find and kill me i'd say us but i'm i'm doing the
talking and then doing the reason i think they're gonna kill me they're gonna find you later i know
who it is i gotta know who it is uh first up bj penn yeah because he's and that seems like an angry guy i
don't know if he's got money to leave hawaii though yeah i don't think he's have a sense of
humor that's a good point that's a good point second up albert bell that's your guy i feel
like he's dangerous got baseball bats in his car i guarantee and he probably lives 15 minutes from
me which is a problem uh third up is again again, this is a far-off guy.
He'd have to get here first.
Alexander Emelianenko.
He'd not be happy.
He doesn't seem like a guy that would have any sense of humor about all the things we said about him.
I feel like he would twist my head off and spike it on the ground.
So I'm going to do that.
And your ear and spit in the hole.
And spit in the hole.
But he's also in Russia.
Winner here, Albert Bell. It's Albert Bell.
Just based on geography alone.
Based on geography, and I feel like he would really enjoy it, too.
He would be
into it. He'd smile for once
in his life. The first smile would come then.
Next up, everybody,
this is the most
prestigious award. This is the one we've been
waiting for all year. Everybody's
been vying for it. We're going to have six nominees for this award because it's such a big award. This is the one we've been waiting for all year. Everybody's been vying for it. We're going to have
six nominees for this
award because it's such a big award.
We had to fill out the field a little
bit. This is like the Oscars.
Six cameras on their faces.
Get the reaction shot.
They're all very...
They want this. Oh, bad, Jimmy.
This could change your career right here.
This is everything. This is the
scumbag of the year, everybody. Oh, bad, Jimmy. This could change your career right here. This is everything. This is the scumbag of
the year, everybody.
Remember, this isn't just
what you did. This isn't about what you
did, because then we'd just be like, oh, he killed the most
people. Scumbag of the year. This
is about a complete
disregard for decency
and general human nature.
Lack of remorse.
You've got to have a little elan with it.
You know what I mean?
This is for style.
Gusto.
Style, gusto.
A lot of different factors go into this.
It's a very different,
I mean, it could go either way.
It's like Best Picture.
Sometimes it's a fucking cartoon.
You're like, how is that compared to this?
But it does.
It's what you do.
Scumbag of the year.
Okay, it's a big category.
First up, Paul Spadafora.
Yeah.
Number one.
Bad man.
Shot his pregnant girlfriend, fought a 63-year-old woman in a bar after slapping her hat off
her head and then got her in a headlock and then punched his mom.
So, yeah.
It beat up his mom.
So that's a pretty scummy.
That's a lot of spunk there.
That's the bar high.
That's what I mean.
Second up, it's OJ.
Second is OJ.
I mean, when you're talking scum, you're talking OJ.
He lifts it, right?
That lifts the bar.
You're talking OJ.
It's got to be.
Third up, Mitch Bloodgreen.
I mean, all the goddamn things he did and the way he did them was really special.
It was a special, special time, I got to say right there.
Fourth up, David Tyner.
For just pure volume of murder, he was a murdery son of a bitch.
He had bodies on him, man.
He did the murder also with a certain gusto that you don't see every day.
You know what I mean?
You just don't see it every day.
Fifth up, this is the first nomination of the night for this young man here kelly patillo
the race car driver from the 30s and 40s oh he's like slashing faces and do he was a fucking
maniac and a lot of fun well i mean no one no one did it with less remorse right he was like yeah
i'll slash a face if i want to chick's face open's face open. Didn't give a shit. And finally, also, for being the model crime and sports person, Todd Marinovich, for being
from the beginning to the end and then falling apart because of too much pressure.
And at the end, it's just a...
He's still getting in trouble.
Leaving it in a pile of smoke and rubble.
That's it.
He's still on there.
So this is a prestigious list.
Right.
Guys, let's do this. This was the panel very quiet the winner here oh my goodness it's mitch
blood green oh what huge upset upset it's a huge upset turns out taking a shift at a gas station
was the craziest thing that anyone else has done this year not to mention not to mention wanting
to street fight mike tyson
getting busted for pcp getting arrested for refusing to pay a two dollar toll when you had
a shitload of money in your pocket and having somehow his license suspended 36 times in like
a four-year period he's a grab bag of fuckery he checks all the boxes and he did it with the most elan of anybody ever i think
he's the it was a tough one oj's met he stomped out of the room oj come back come on jesus
dragged his mom out by the hair this is terrible tyner's uh we're cutting off his satellite from
prison this is not kelly patilla where we have a medium. Is he with us? He is?
He's not happy? He's not...
He's sped off. He says he wants to slash
your face, Jimmy. He is not happy with you at all.
And then he did a burnout in a really
old car. Todd Marinovich is currently
fogging up the window, looking in it,
seeing if there's anything of value
that he can take. He's nude and greased up.
I think he's going to try to come in. Now he's digging
through your trash. I'm not sure, but Mitch Bloodgreen,
congratulations on your scummy.
Everybody, what an amazing time
to be alive when the scummies are happening.
Holy shit. Thank you to all the
nominees this year, our illustrious
panel, Frankie and
Benny. Of course, to myself
and Jimmy for the whole thing.
Thanks for
the use of this wonderful ballroom
that we've had.
I'd like to thank Vera Wang
for making Sarah's dress.
It's been
a big night for us all. Thank you.
It's a lot of... Best Western is a great
place. We should come back again. It's wonderful. The whole
banquet room is fantastic.
Everybody, the lights are down, the confetti's
falling. It's a big night everybody
so that's limited chicken wings that is the scummies this year and that is uh vinnie jones
i hope you enjoyed all of that stuff here uh if you did i know how you can tell us about it get
on apple podcast that purple icon or over at stitcher but or both if you can give us five
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and we really appreciate them.
So thank you so much for doing that.
We really, really do appreciate it.
Also, you want to be a pal?
You can go over to
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And I don't blame him because he's slept about as little as i have so he was
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As you can tell, I don't know if you heard,
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So get in on that and find us out and do all of that. Murder now. We have a bunch of crime and sports stuff planned.
So get in on that and find us out and do all that.
Jimmy, what if they wanted to find you out?
How could they find you?
What do they do? Find me at WismanSucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N-Sucks on Twitter and Instagram and Snapchat.
Thank you guys so much.
Where can they find you?
You can find me over at JimmyPIsFunny or just at JimmyPIsFunny, I should say.
I'm so tired.
Or just copy and paste my name
from the show description and make it easy on yourself also wish jimmy happy birthday this week
his birthday's on saturday so saturday right yeah i forgot about that that's right fucker so do all
that sell jimmy happy birthday and uh thank you guys for everything honestly and uh live from the
crime and sports studios we will see you next week. Bye.
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