Crime in Sports - #201 - Pouring Champagne On A Fire - The Downhillness of Steve "Franchise" Francis
Episode Date: March 24, 2020This week, we talk about a man who somehow went from dropping out of high school, to the NBA in a matter of a few years. He sold crack, and ran the streets but always kept his basketball drea...ms alive, and eventually it paid off, at least in money. But he has been full of problems like being belligerent to cops, drinking to excess, getting robbed, committing a burglary, and a whole lot in between. He leaves you with only one question... WHY?? Drop out of high school, be intimidated by Charles Barkley, and always do the stupidest thing with Steve "The Franchise" Francis!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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about 32 episodes up there so ps i hate this movie besides that let's get into this man because uh
we have quite the tale before you today and then at the end of the show if you're interested we're
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the show at all if you care about that kind of stuff we'll complain later on it'll be fun but
let's get right into this with our our the man of the hour i guess that we'll say here it's steve
francis remember a little stevie francis there basketball i know is the one that uh ran uh
girls gone wild i think that's joe francis oh yeah that's not steve francis that's real bad
names he also played for the expos so that guy's a piece of shit steve francis the basketball player
i gotta know who he is you definitely know who he is. You definitely know who he is. Who did he play for? The Rockets, mainly.
Oh, yeah. Point guard.
Yeah.
Point guard.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, Steve, Stephen Deshaun Francis, to be exact here.
Steve, Steve Francis or Stevie, Stevie Franchise, as they called him a little bit.
That's right.
And I was like, why?
He's I do remember that.
Yeah.
And he wasn't even that good.
He's OK.
Fine.
He's a serviceable.
Yeah.
We'll get into his skill sets, but yeah, he's okay.
He had an interesting life, though, old Stevie Francis, and I didn't even realize that he's
kind of really fallen apart the last decade or so.
It's not going well for little Stevie Francis.
This is a guy who hit grace and shit, just the floor fell out for him.
It's really fucking sad here.
So let's get into it
born february 21st first first yeah february 21st it's a new it's a new day we came up with
it's it's in the leap year it's it's the 29th when it's not leap year it's those other three
deaths that's february 21st that's what they call that i believe believe. Right. Off-year, leap-year day. So February 21st, 1977 he's born.
Born in Silver Spring, Maryland.
Really?
I believe we have a show there maybe this year at some point.
Yeah, we're playing the film war there, aren't we?
Yeah, I believe we're there.
That's where he's born.
We like Silver Spring.
It's beautiful.
It's nice there.
Nice little place there.
That's where he's born.
Grows up in this area, this D.C., kind of Baltimore area in the 80s and 90s.
And this is, yeah, not great times.
It's grimy.
Yeah, watch The Wire.
And then it was even worse because it was a little earlier before.
One of these days I will.
It's bad stuff.
So, yeah, he's born there.
Now, I've got to give this one thing credit, this article in theplayerstribune.com.
It's not really an
article it's essentially just letting steve tell his story type of thing so a lot of this i got a
lot of his like early life in his own in his own words we'll do some in their own words on this but
uh yeah he says his first his very first memory in life you know what let's do it in their own
words right off the bat because this sets it up right? This sets it up right here, I think.
Let's go ahead and let Stevie set up his life here.
In their own words, quote,
My very first memory in life is visiting my father in the federal pen on cookout day
and having a police officer take me and my mother into a little holding room.
They strip-searched both of us.
I was like three years old didn't matter pull his pants down
what so that's how we'll set up steve francis's life there that's something something there
unreal yeah that's your first memory squat and cough toddler let's go chief oh only a hot wheels
came out is that is hot wheels considered contraband you can't son you can't take the hot
wheels it's now i'm sorry i think he's got coke in the trunk of it let's let's not do it unreal
but he said that's how people uh in his he says that that's how people used to sneak drugs into
the prisons uh through toddlers through top yeah they put them in their kids yeah they're searched
generally yeah generally that's a that's a thing remember in Goodfellas, they would pack the coke with the baby.
That's why they'd have the babysitter who would borrow babies.
Now, how coked out do you have to be to be like, yeah, sure, borrow my baby to smuggle cocaine to another city?
That sounds terrific.
You know what?
Good idea.
Good idea.
Yeah, you're not going to sell them for more, right, when you're over there.
I lost him.
I don't know. Very trusting. I lost him. I don't know.
Very trusting.
You borrow them.
You borrow a baby.
I won't let anybody borrow my car, never mind a child for something.
Can you imagine that?
You can borrow like a DVD.
You can borrow like an old, hey, this isn't streaming anywhere.
You want to borrow?
That's fine.
I can't think of much that I borrow out ever.
Yeah, I don't know.
Get your own thing. I don't know what we're talking about talking about here but kid you can't just borrow out kids for that
jesus christ he said that his dad was in there for 20 years for bank robbery wow uh yeah he said uh
that uh he said he called it the uh old school 80s era heat ski mask stick up hustle he called it the old school 80s era heat ski mask stick up hustle.
He called it.
What?
That's not a hustle.
That's fucking violent.
Well, that used to be a hustle back then.
Is that a hustle?
Yeah, it is, actually.
There's people on.
Okay.
Ski mask heat, James.
Like the movie?
Like the movie Heat.
Yeah.
That's fucking murder is what that movie is.
Exactly.
That's crazy. But there Heat. Yeah. That's fucking murder is what that movie is. Exactly. That's crazy.
But there's, okay, there's different types of street dudes back in the day a little bit
and I'm not sure about now because I'm not really doing much.
I'm not out much in the environs anymore.
But like you had different types of people that did different shit to make money.
You had people who sold drugs.
That was one thing.
You had your drug dealer people.
Your drug dealer people weren't usually your stick-up people no they had their own thing
going on then you had people who they're fucking their thing that they did like they're what do
you do for a living i'm a stick-up guy right that's what they did i just robbed people they
straight up just robbed people all the time they robbed drug dealers you got your omars you got
people that would rob stores and people like that you got people that would try to rob like you know individuals they go down fucking it so they're just different ways
of doing it and his dad was happened to be of the stick-up variety robin banks yeah robin banks
which is your escalation like well fuck i robbed this guy for 50 bucks you know where money is i
get ski mask hustle uh robbing random people that you know that they
have some loot on them yeah yeah but robbing a fucking bank that's crazy that's bank robberies
there are crews that rob banks yeah currently even really absolutely because if as long as you
don't show your face on the camera no one's gonna stop you from robbing a bank yeah they're gonna
give you the money and let you walk out they that's all insured and they're that's what they're told to do they're not sure nobody try to stop anybody
none of that shit exists you leave and unless a cop happens to be driving by right if you can get
in your car and get away you'll probably get most bank robberies don't get caught that's the thing
it's like 80 is your is your success rate on bank robberies that's crazy which is high it seems like
that's it seems like you're gonna probably get away with it but if you do it 10 times you're probably gonna get caught eventually that's getting caught
yeah that's the thing but if you're good you got to think those 20 people are probably idiots too
that 20 are probably people that went in like you know with no mask on nothing and we're just like
i'm sean give me your money like what are you talking about here's my id in my account now
give me all the money out of the other account. Put it all in my account.
All the money you have, I'd like it all transferred into my account right now.
Debit cards are here it is.
Yeah, thank you, sir.
Thank you.
You're going to send that?
You have my address, right?
Those checks better be there.
I want the ones with the balloons on them.
So, yeah, he said that his dad was a known guy in D.C.
and so are his older brothers.
Steve's the youngest of a bunch of siblings, and everybody else runs the streets pretty hard in front of him, especially the very hard Erica, 70s, 80s, 90s.
And D.C. is just once crack exploded in the 80s, D.C. really, really fell apart here.
He said that he was small always.
He always was small he grows up
to be six three he was six three yeah which doesn't look like it playing yeah it's funny
he's one of those guys like steve nash you see me like oh a tiny little steve nash tiny little
steve francis six three six four six two they're like big people and normal at the grocery store
it's a big dude but in basketball it's you know he's standing next to akim elijah you look smaller it's one of those things otis thorpe yeah otis thorpe's gonna make
most people look small it's just how it is that's just it's a big man it's just life man so uh he
said he was small and he said that his mother and father when they split up when his father was in
prison he said that uh her brother the parents basically
told their brother his older brothers not to let steve do that shit he said quote not steve never
steve he's got to be different they want because he was the youngest by a by a lot yeah there so
he said that just growing up in dc was was really rough his mother was a nurse um she got remarried
to a guy who was a good guy he said he was a garbage
collector so he was a not a stick-up guy or anything he's a hard fella our honest hard work
yeah he's like he's like uh charles dutton from that rock show from the rock that's what i picture
because he was a baltimore garbage man so i just pictured rocks steve get in the house damn it
with his bald head yelling at him and shit every time i saw that guy now when i see the the geico gecko
i think of charles s dutton because they have the same lips and the face he looks like a little a
little gecko he's adorable because he's never i don't see him with hair i'm sure he had hair at
some point in his life let's
back this up i believe yeah i'm gonna go out on a limb here but i'm gonna say that in at least
since he's been i would say since puberty charles s dutton has never never had hair ever ever been
called adorable that word's never been used to describe him once ever used to describe him i see him as a gecko he's adorable adorable all right
adorable little lizard you want a little english accent to come out of his mouth okay i could see
it so uh yeah he said his stepdad's a garbage collector he is a a gecko who is named rock and
drives a truck and lives in Baltimore.
And he says that, I'll quote him on this, quote,
We had 18 people living in a three-bedroom apartment and food stamps weren't cutting it.
So it's literally, I think that's a Ghostface Killer lyric, too.
18 of us in a three-bedroom apartment, roaches everywhere, cousins and aunts were there.
I think that's a Ghostface Killer lyric.
And then he threw in, food stamps ain't cutting it. Yeah, I can't remember if it was I think that's a Ghostface Killer lyric. And then he threw in food stamps and cotton.
Yeah, I can't remember if it was 16 or 18 in the Ghostface song, but it's fucking close.
I think he might be quoting Ghostface Killer.
I don't know if that's true or not, but it might just be a similar experience.
He said, so when I was a little kid, I was out on the corners with my friends trying
to hang with all the older guys, trying to make some pocket money so I could buy some Now and so i could buy some now or laters or something now and laters or something oh i thought i said
now or later no no no no i wish he'd now and later's candy that's the other thing that's how
kids get involved in this shit is they come up they're running around running around older dudes
look pretty fucking cool especially because they have money and you are on fucking food stamps and
that that's shit so drug dudes dealers will have little
kids be runners and shit like that start out yo go get me a sandwich and then they'll give them
five bucks or some shit like that which is a lot to a little kid who's poor as fuck so that's how
they get involved in it keep the chain keep the change yo let's take them shopping we'll get them
some sneakers or some shit like that and it becomes like almost like almost like indentured
servitude with these fucking kids because
yeah they don't well they treat them like it's funny uh prodigy for mob deep in his book he was
writing about it talking about how these kids you know when he was little how watching other kids
get involved he said basically these dudes were like pimping them because it was like you know
you give them we keep them looking nice pretty and all that but no no he goes that's what it was it
was like you don't get money they'll take you shopping every couple weeks
and get you some new sneakers and shit like that but you got no money in your pocket to keep you
there that's comedy that's that's comedy yeah drug dealing professional wrestling and stand-up comedy
are so similar it's absolutely fucking disturbing they just run down the track side by side with
carrot chasing the same carrot i feel like it's the same dirty carrot they just switch it from track to track every once in a while you
can call uh each horse in in the horse race uh comedy professional wrestling and then just
chasing down the street going to get that fucking carrot with a tiny man whipping him on his back
because that that's how it would really be that that would really make it perfect actually yeah so we can all relate to this then if you're in these so he said quote when
i was 10 years old i got my first job as a phone boy yeah now phone boy he said uh he'd wait outside
the chinese restaurant and sit on the curb by the pay phone just sitting there because he's like 10
years old and he's a small 10 year old too I've seen pictures of him as a little kid.
He's the most innocent-looking, cherubic little motherfucker you ever saw in your life.
You see him, you just want to pinch his little cheeks.
You little cute little motherfucker.
Look at you.
Look at you, you cute kid.
He's adorable?
He's adorable.
He's tiny.
He's got cheeks.
You're like, look at him.
He's a cute little guy.
He looks adorable as shit.
And he just answered the phone all day?
He said, yeah, whenever the phone would ring, he said it was always people looking for drugs looking for girls looking for whatever i'd tell them where to meet the dealers and that was it so he he was like the
receptionist yeah he's the drug dealer receptionist that's what he was fucking answers the phone
crack co he's like stevie francis i Co. Whore department. How may I direct?
Oh, you'd like two whore.
Oh, how cracky would you like them?
Extra cracky.
Okay, they're working on that right now.
Jeez.
What a job.
What a job, yeah.
No 401k, but it sounds perfect.
I mean, it's not bad.
It's just sitting on the curb, I guess.
You get to smell Chinese food, which always smells good.
Yeah.
So what the hell?
Unless they throw it out.
Right. You will get no worse smell than a dumpster behind a chinese restaurant i don't know what happens when the chinese food rots but it turns fucking aggressive and vicious and permeates
also mexican food there's something about refried beans there's beans in that yeah when that starts
to turn bro what is that they're
hard to make turn that's the thing you could let them sit out get rock hard you just put a drop of
water on throw them in the microwave they'll be exactly the same again once they turn oh boy it's
over they've turned no they've turned no it's like it's like it's like being married to an italian
woman and she'll be on your side but once it's hard to get her to turn once she turns she'll
stab you you'll never get her back it's gonna be aggressive take everything and stab you so it's tough so uh
yeah he said it was he did this all day and all night basically he said it would be 50 drug
dealers standing outside on one corner and 50 drug dealers standing on another corner and then
little steve posted up by the payphone just safe a little receptionist
kid and that's all um he said though there wasn't anything to do so he because he was bored he would
shoot a basketball into the top of the phone booth he said so foam one no basketball an actual
yeah because he's dribbling around he's just standing around he's got nothing better to do
but dribble he said so uh we ripped off the roof so there was just enough room to squeeze a ball through but it was a square
so you had to swish it perfect with a real high arc even if you did it used to rattle in against
the sides of the booth oh that's awesome yeah they just took the top of the phone booth off
and made it a little basket he made a little basketball for himself so yeah which is a good
it's a good practice for it that's more more
difficult than a basket you know he said i'd be out there all night crossing over stepping back
and you know just doing moves and it doesn't matter doing a phone booth yeah just bored you
know he said i had a shot a million jumpers on that phone booth uh he said that he would be a
lot of times he was like you know trying to just teachers and truant officers and shit would be looking for kids,
and he said he'd be ducking his teachers.
He said he was really ducking his older brothers, though, and his mother,
because they thought he was doing better.
And everything he said, I was hiding from them,
but I was still doing good in school when I showed up.
So he was trying to live like a double life here
and kind of work at night and go to school at 10.
That's exhausting exhausting it sounds a
lot yeah and dunking dunking on a mountain bell that's jesus all day long dunking on yeah that's
it all day just shooting jumpers he said so i was just uh little steve with the basketball to almost
everybody in the neighborhood and he said that he would ask his grandmother to measure him with a
pencil every single day he said he'd mark it on the wall and he said i just wasn't getting any taller 12 13 years old still not growing this
is a really bold god damn it yeah he's in one spot yeah try again not mark me up i felt something
last night i felt a twitch in my heels i think i'm i think there's something every day good god
he said he showed up to basketball tryouts on the first day of high
school and he thought yeah i'm gonna do great here i got crossover uh my booth shot is unprecedented
it's way better than anybody else he said and they cut him though yeah so they wanted him to
play jv because he was short basically which yeah he said that crushed me i walked off the court and
i never played high school ball again except for two games. Really?
Yeah, this is what gets very, very interesting here.
His high school thing, he doesn't really play high school basketball much.
How do you get into college?
Well, AAU.
High school means nothing now.
All high school is, for basketball players, is a showcase so the AAU coaches can find you and bring you into these you know the mcdonald's all
american game this game all these aau tournament games all that shit that's where all the college
coaches and the nba scouts are they're there so that rather than go to every bumfuck high school
in the country you know oh i heard me two of your best yeah i hear there's a tall kid in western
you know montana rather than that have them all on the court at
the same time and they have all these games all these weekends these aau tournaments and everybody
gets seen and that's how it works so that's the game now it doesn't matter if you play high school
or not as long as you get on these teams and he said that he played a little bit for an aau team
and he uh played pickup ball a lot and that was. He was playing. He said that it was very complicated, and he should have worked harder at basketball,
but he said it was really difficult.
He said they were moving a lot.
He went to six different high schools just from having to move for whatever reasons,
financial and things like that.
So it's tough.
He says, I remember telling people, quote, i'm going to marry janet jackson one
day they have to think of when this is yeah that's lofty goals this is like 1994 when she was on that
rolling stone cover with the hands over her boobs right she was you know and then she was in the
music video with her brother and she'd fucking pulled her tits apart that was hot oh my god
i lost my mind i was like what did she just do go back yeah hey
what was that why can't we rewind this yet why is there no dvr someone invent that shit this sucks
now i gotta sit around for three hours and play this video again it's coming back
fuck he said uh janet jackson was the flyest girl in the world to me but i'm 15 years old
on food stamps small as hell growing up around crack addicts and i can't even play high school ball how am i gonna get out of here and see what's up with janet i don't know why i
thought that was a great quote from him that is brilliant how am i gonna get out of here and see
what's up with janet yo janet unless she calls the phone by the chinese restaurant i really am
looking for a crack whore i'm out of business if If she is, I'm the guy then because I'm going to guide her.
Eventually, he does hit a growth spurt here.
And like I said, he ends up being 6'3".
So he had to have hit a growth spurt at some point.
6'3 is pretty tall.
And so 1995, he says, is really when things got – when he had to really kind of evaluate his life at 95.
He's about 18 years old.
At Tacoma Park,land is where he lived and he said he was on the corner he said he was selling drugs outside a chinese
restaurant uh he said he was selling crack selling crack i mean what else are you gonna do he said
uh this is right after in late 1994 his mother passed away from cancer. Very young, too, in her early 40s, which is unexpected and obviously brutal no matter what,
but really unexpected if you're a teenager also.
So it's tough.
And his father's in federal lockup still.
So, you know, that's not good.
He said that at this point, too, he's got all sorts of living in an apartment with lots of people.
He's selling crack.
He dropped out of high school at this point too he's got all sorts of living in an apartment with lots of people he's selling crack he dropped out of high school at that point he's got you know there's no there's no college coaches banging on his door he doesn't have a big pile of letters for scholarships where
people are recruiting him or he's got none of that shit he's just a kid that sells crack that's
pretty good at basketball right which there's a lot of those so it's it's you know he he thought
he was just going to be another guy who was a good street baller and selling crack, and that's it.
He doesn't even have a GED.
He said nothing at this point.
And this is 1995.
He said at this point he's watching Allen Iverson play for Georgetown right up the road.
And Allen Iverson was ridiculous in college.
He was so good.
He was so good in the pros.
Oh, he's fucking great.
Allen Iverson's amazing.
He's nasty. He might be the best point guards ever. He's nasty.
He might be the best point guard ever.
No, no, no, no, no.
Point guard?
No, not as a point guard.
No, he's too much of a scorer for a point guard.
Was he a shooting guard?
Did he play shooting guard?
Essentially, he played.
No, he played point, right?
He'd be in the lineup at point, but he'd essentially be a shooting guard because he'd take the ball up to court.
He's just so fast.
His dribbles were insane. He was and he'd shoot so fucking much. He's just so fast. His dribbles were insane.
He was amazing. He was so fucking good. He could
penetrate like nobody's business and he was great.
But great point guards.
I gotta stick with...
Magic. It's kind of hard to beat a guy
who can beat you in any way he wants to
in a six foot nine. It's a good point.
It's tough. It's real tough.
And Oscar Robertson just triple doubles
while he was doing it.
Everybody always forgets about him.
You forget about him.
You forget that that was his career.
I mean, a lot of the guys he was playing against were like fucking white and stiff back then,
but still.
To average a dribbled over the career?
That's insane.
That's pretty nasty.
So, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
There's been some pretty goddamn good point guards out there, but he's not bad.
Was it career or season?
It was for a whole season.
Yeah, not career not career yeah
so only wait a minute dummy yeah slow down that's a lot so he said um iverson's doing great and he
said i'm standing on the corner all day building my little drug empire just trying not to get robbed
and then at night i'm playing pick up uh pick up ball in the basement of a firehouse so that's
that's where he's that's what he's doing to play ball he said he's uh he got robbed tons of times at gunpoint drug dealers do he said i got
my ass beat a million times i saw drive-bys but honestly if you ask me what really scared me the
most it wasn't the guns shooting shootings were almost natural i mean what do you think is going
to happen when you're in the streets the scariest scariest thing was the drugs, the needles, the pipes, the PCP.
People slumped over with that look in their eyes.
It was everywhere.
These are regular people, nurses, teachers, mailmen, the mayor of D.C., Marion Barry.
That's what you have to remember.
If you're young, you know, like Marion Barry was the goddamn mayor of D.C.
that got caught smoking crack in a hotel room with prostitutes.
And then got reelected?
Got reelected got re-elected
because he was because people were like i mean everybody else is doing it too yeah i mean he
was like my mom's on it yeah how you gonna judge me you all got you all got problems too and they
were like i do yeah you're right you know what vote for him fuck it and they vote yeah it happens
so you know whatever he called he quote, it was the zombie apocalypse.
That's what he called it.
And it really is.
It's a shit time to be a kid that has nothing.
He said, though, for him, it was just he didn't know what to do.
He wanted to play basketball, but he had no way to do it.
He said the only thing that saved him was something that his AAU coach, Tony Langley, said to him.
I guess this guy was a retired cop
his aau coach and he said he used to say quote i'm telling you how it's going to go steve 10
years from now you're going to see the same guys on these same corners doing the same shit and
they're going to be wearing the newest filas or the newest jordans looking fresh but you're going
to look at them and they're going to be another year older and then another year older still
doing the same shit still getting robbed every single day.
You can do something different.
Good advice.
Not bad.
It is good advice.
And also, too, you're always going to end up in jail.
I'm going to sell drugs long term as a bad career plan.
It's not.
Yeah.
There's not very much longevity.
No, it's not like, hey, you know, I'm going to do this until this and that.
There's no like I'm saving up to open a laundromat or something like, you know, there's no one
big score.
I'm opening a kebab stand.
I'm going to save up for that.
And once I get that, then I'm all kebabs at that point.
I'm off the drive.
No one's doing that.
They're just surviving.
Yeah.
So it's difficult.
Finally, though, he said that or with's difficult finally though he said that uh or
with the college guy he said that rang in my head and i couldn't stop thinking about it um you know
at all he kept thinking about that guy telling him that his grandmother ended up helping him
come up with a little bit of money to be able to attend a private uh a private high school in
connecticut so i guess he got partial scholarship for basketball
and a little bit of money he had to pay.
But after a couple months, he ran out of money
and couldn't cover the tuition.
And so he dropped out of high school completely after that.
But he did have an opportunity to go to college.
It was a junior college called San Jacinto College in Texas.
Or Jacinto, but it's probably Jacinto.
I know it is, but I don't know if they pronounce it wrong.
Oh, those motherfuckers.
I got told last week the word humble doesn't have a fucking H on it by people in Texas.
So, fuck you.
People had the balls to say, you know, it's pronounced humble.
No, it's not.
You know what it's pronounced like?
The way that the rest of the world pronounces it, you dumb fucking shit assholes you don't get to pick how you pronounce words there's 14 000
people there they're gonna tell the rest of the six billion fucking people how a word is pronounced
no so this is san jacinto yeah san jacinto college san jacinto san jacinto college it's that over there it's san jacinto uh in texas
he said that one of the coaches had seen him play in an aau in an aau tournament in an aau
is really hard to say in a tournament there and so they you know junior colleges are looking for talent basically any raw
talent they'll take because they're not really getting the cream of the crop so if you can get
a kid that's talented but slip through the cracks fucking a like this is a score for steve francis
so he said they told him they had a roster spot and he was like you know he didn't know what to do
he's like it's junior college and it's in texas but i mean it's better than selling crack
probably good point you know uh he said his grandmother convinced him that that's what she
wanted and that's what his mother would have wanted for him he said so he said he gave in got
his ged his grandmother gave him 400 and a plane ticket to go to houston to be there one way one
way the fuck out have fun in houston well they're going to college he said
the coaches picked him up at the airport and uh he said it's the same airport where the coaches from
the from the university of houston picked up akeem elijahwan when he came from nigeria same back in
the day yeah same gate if you don't know when crystal pepsi was discontinued what was in al
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Wondery app. So he said said uh honestly quote uh and honestly i was
probably just as shell-shocked as he was it was 30 000 white people and your boy steve total culture
shock when i finally had some stability i don't know where san jacinto is but houston's uh got a
shitload of black people yeah it does it's like yeah i mean that's for a huge and at that time
there's a huge hip-hop underground thing there.
Maybe he means where this college is.
Maybe.
Maybe 30,000 is like there.
That's where Pimp C is from?
No, yeah, Houston.
All kinds of people.
Yeah, we've been to Houston.
There's a couple of black people there.
It's a pretty big deal.
Yeah.
So he said, though, but he loved it because, culture shock or not, he felt stable.
He said he had a bed and a roster spot.
And he was like, this is great. Fuck, there's not eight other people in this room that's pretty cool i
like that and if they are they're just basketball players none of them are on crack or anything
that helps and he went out and he said he he said quote i'm telling you i went out there and killed
it ask sean marion if you don't know who sean marion and he is he's a really great nba player
who was also a really
good college player.
And also maybe the ugliest shot ever in the NBA.
Very ugly and somehow extremely effective.
Somehow went in.
How the fuck?
I met him right after he got drafted.
I worked at the bar down in downtown Phoenix and they brought him in there.
He was the tallest, thinnest person I've ever seen in my life at the time.
The time he had like no, later on he was like muscular.
He had like no muscle mass.
He was like six inches wide.
It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life.
But nine feet tall.
Very straight.
It made him look even taller.
Yeah, that's a phenomenon about you too.
Because you're not fucking jacked up and not fat, you're in good shape, but you're not.
Yeah, you look a lot thinner.
That's why you don't see tall bodybuilders very often.
When you do see them, they're twice as jacked as the other guy.
It's horrifying.
Yeah, they have to be Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 70s, because otherwise you just don't look tall.
You just don't look big because you're tall.
I don't know how, to this day, it still baffles me how Sean Marion was successful.
Just looking at the mechanics of the way he plays basketball.
He was awesome.
It doesn't make sense.
No, it really doesn't.
And then every time, the ball goes in.
It's like he learned to play basketball on another planet or in a vacuum just on his own.
He never saw it before.
Someone gave him a hoop and a ball, and he was like, all right.
They didn't teach him anything.
But over time of just having the hoop and the ball, he figured out how to get it in every time just not in any other way anyone else has ever tried worst ugliest thing i've ever
seen yeah worked then it worked so he says go ahead and ask him about sean marrying uh marion
he was a juco all-american he was supposed to be the guy and we went we went there to indiana and
i murdered him i got a quadruple double on his ass i remember when we both got to the nba we
were laughing about it during some shoot around
and he told me that he's actually got the VHS tape
of the game somewhere at his house.
That tape exists.
And then later on in an interview,
when this comes out, he says,
for 20 years, I've been asking Sean
where the hell that tape is and he's been ducking me.
He wants it.
He wants the tape.
So yeah, he said, you know,
it's basically community college, junior college. But he said uh you know he's in it's basically community college
junior college so but he's doing well and he's feeling good he felt uh but he wanted to be on a
real campus he wanted to be you know he wanted to be in the big time as anybody would be he wanted
to go to like georgetown or maryland or somewhere like that uh 97 he said is where he decided to
really the basketball was this thing and he had to concentrate.
He went back to Tacoma Park and he said he was he was back from Texas there for a couple days.
And he said, to be honest, I was homesick as hell down there in Texas.
I was crying every day telling the coaches I wanted to quit and go home back to my family,
back to the block, back to selling drugs, back to the same bullshit every day and forever.
But that's what I knew.
He says, so I go on a break and everybody everybody's like, oh, you think you're the man now?
All right, college boy, we'll see how good you are.
And he said, they put me up against Greg Jones, the number one guy in D.C. at the time.
It was a dope boy game.
That means 50 guys on one side of the court with AK-47s and 50 guys on the other side of the court with AK-47s.
They all had $10,000 on the game, one-on-one, best of three.
So this is like on the wire when they have the Eastside-Westside basketball game,
and people bet huge fucking money on these games,
and that's been going on for years.
Why would you want to play in that?
That's stressful.
Sounds stressful.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
He says, quote, you can't say no.
Okay.
Sounds like it.
That's why you're playing it.
Yeah. I'm going back to I mean. He says, quote, you can't say no. Okay. Sounds like it. That's why he's playing it. Yeah.
I'm going back to his quadruple double.
Does that points, assists, steals?
Could be steals, blocks.
It can't be blocks, right?
I would think not.
It's got to be steals.
6-3, Sean Marion 6-9.
Yeah, he's probably tapping that ball away from him.
It's got to be, right?
It has to be.
It has to be.
That's been bugging me ever since.
It's got to be steals.
Yeah, it has to be.
It's working him, for sure.
It's working him over, no matter what.
I want that tape, too. No shit. i want to see that no never mind it's a junior college basketball game it's
super boring he said well i played the first game and i killed his ass the second game starts and i
could have killed his ass again for a minute i was thinking about it i could have been the man in dc
i could have been a street legend i could have beat him and made some money and stayed on the
block where i felt comfortable i could have stayed in the box D.C. I could have been a street legend. I could have beat him and made some money and stayed on the block where I felt comfortable.
I could have stayed in the box.
But I wanted more.
I wanted something different.
I wanted to marry Janet Jackson.
Okay.
That's right.
He said, so I let him win the second game.
And then I took the ball and threw it over the backboard and walked off the court.
I got back on a plane to my community college in Texas, and I killed Sean Marion's ass instead.
So he realized that he didn't give a shit about being hot shit on the block anymore.
That didn't matter.
And so it made him less homesick, basically, to see this is too much for me here.
So he plays there, and if you play well in junior college,
you will have major colleges sniffing around you.
And he did.
He said later on he's had big big time
coaches like john thompson from georgetown calling about him he said oklahoma and clemson were coming
after him yeah he said but i'd grown up watching len bias and patrick ewing for me it was either
maryland or georgetown period makes sense he said it was almost georgetown but i'll never forget the
conversation i had with john thompson he's the coach and if
you don't know john thompson and he is he is one of the most intimidating human beings that's ever
walked the earth have you ever seen you know i'm talking about he's a giant he's a giant first of
all he's a georgetown yeah he's a six foot nine i don't think he's still there did he coach patrick
ewing yeah yeah six foot nine huge too mean, he's like Suge Knight size.
This big, giant Suge Knight size dude with a fucking voice that it's just deep.
Everything he says is deep.
It's like, whoa.
He could yell at anybody and they'd go, huh?
And they'd stop and be like, I'm sorry, Dad.
He's scary, man.
He made Patrick Ewing step in line.
Oh, he could scare Patrick Ewing.
He's a scary motherfucker, John Thompson.
He just seems like everybody's dad that will whoop your fucking ass at the drop of a hat.
He's just tough.
He's like Uncle Phil from, what is that?
Fresh Prince of Canal.
Fresh Prince.
If he had hair and was threatening looking.
Much bigger, too.
He's just a big dude.
So he's nothing like him, except Uncle Philil's kind of black and john thompson's
black too that's other than that they're nothing alike but yeah well he's he's not kind of black
he's light he's lighter than just barely no if you saw john thompson you go well jesus compared to him
but uncle phil did not uh act very well uncle that was the whole point of his character was i am i'm
in beverly hills right wherever the fuck it was i think it's beverly bel-air bel-air the whole fucking show is the prince of bel-air
okay then unbelievable that was great all right then so yeah he said he'll never forget the
conversation he had with john thompson he said quote steve we like you we do but i just had
alan iverson i can't have you right after Allen. I just can't have it.
Steve, I'll have a heart attack.
Like, you know, it's just too much.
Right.
Yeah, just too much.
I need to have a...
You're dealt with practice.
Yeah, I can't do it.
He said, quote, I respected it.
He was right.
He saw all those hangers-on who are around Allen all the time at Georgetown.
He knew they'd just be waiting for me to come through.
So my junior year, when I was already 21,
I transferred to Maryland.
So he ends up in Maryland, which is a huge program.
But it's back home. It's back home, though.
That's the problem. He got away from all
this shit. He did, but he does
really well here, though. He kind of stays
away from shit. He hangs out with people,
but keeps it separate from the
court here. And at Maryland that year,
they go 28-6.
So it's a pretty good team.
They're the No. 2 seed in the tournament in their bracket.
They won against Valparaiso in the first round,
beat Creighton in the second round,
and then lost to St. John's in the third round.
So they go a little bit into it there.
Steve, too.
Steve plays 31 minutes a game,
and he's pretty goddamn nasty, I've got to say, for what he is here.
What's he got?
31, six field goals.
Not bad.
Over 50% field goal percentage.
So, you know, Steve's killing it.
17 points a game, four and a half rebounds, four and a half assists, 2.8 steals.
Is he playing point?
He's playing point guard.
Yeah, yeah.
So, I mean, those are damn good numbers there.
It's not bad.
He's playing point guard.
Yeah, yeah.
So, I mean, those are damn good numbers there.
It's not bad.
He said his stepfather got a job on campus as the guy working the ticket booth inside the park and ride thing.
So, like the parking area for there.
Right around the corner.
Which is, yeah, that's interesting.
They get Steve in there.
They hire a stepdad.
These are things that would be NCAA violations.
You can't hire people.
You can't benefit the family.
Yeah, they do.
But I'm glad they do that. They fucking should. Yeah. You can't hire people benefit the family yeah they do so but i'm glad they do that they fucking
should yeah you can't pay the kid let his fucking stepdad work there and pay him twice as much
wow he's the highest paid ticket taker in a parking booth ever he makes 150 grand a year
yes he does and you match his 401k that's crazy fucking amazing jesus christ he said one day i'm
coming back from practice and i go over and see
him and some frat boy dudes are walking out like yo steve francis dude your dad is the man he
thought they were like you're the man he said your dad he goes what are you talking about and they
said yeah dude he let us in for free he's so cool he's saying he's your dad so he's like okay he
goes i walk into the park and ride and my stepdad's got a whole tailgate thing going. He's holding court in there.
He's got his little TV inside the booth.
He's got his potato chips and all these people are standing around drinking beers, talking basketball with him.
He set up a fucking hole like a little watch party there.
Oh, this is great.
He said, man, he's even got my little sister in there chilling with him and her toy poodle.
Precious.
It was a whole scene.
He sees me walking up with the Terps hoodie on and I've never seen in somebody so proud he says to everybody that's
my son that's my boy university of maryland shit proud i love it that's a great quote
fucking awesome those are quotes like that bowler that yeah say it again
that's my son that's my boy university of maryland shit that's right
god damn it just like random words that he just throws together what's shit on the end that's like
yeah universally maryland shit shit that's like james brown's hot yeah that's what that is shit
shit right there i think it's more like that shit university of maryland there. I think it's more like that. Shit.
University of Maryland.
Shit.
Yeah, I think it's that.
That's exactly what it is. That's what it is, yeah.
So he said, that's definitely how he's letting it out.
He said that he used to watch, you know, he'd come see every home game.
And then he said when they were on the road, he'd watch the TV in his booth.
His father did, or stepdad he said it's quote it's funny because my biological father
he used to rob the metro stations before he got locked up and my stepfather he worked in one
yeah different quote he was uh but he was an honest hustler he became my real father he was
my best friend he was the loudest guy in the gym oh that's awesome good and that's after his mom's
dead right so stepdad's not like well fuck you then your mom's dead i'm gonna go is stayed stuck with him
i mean it didn't hurt if he got a job from the from the uh truck trash collection probably did
probably and then now he's double dipping going back and get another job with that income yeah
either that or hopefully maryland gave him a decent fucking paycheck right he said you don't
have to drive a truck we can give you more than that yeah we can sit you in a booth and watch the tarpons games yeah how about that yeah your your son stepson
here would like that right and he does really well 98 99 he's uh first team all acc and uh he is
consensus all america second team so a very good player here he said uh at the end of the season
he was a naysmith finalist and everybody was talking about the draft and all this type of shit.
So in one year, he got a lot of heat going.
That's awesome.
And he was already 21.
So this was his third year of college ball,
counting the San Jacinto, Chondacanto, San Jacinto there.
So, yeah, he was ready for the draft.
June 30, 1999 is the NBA nba draft and uh number one
overall jimmy 1999 no 99 i think kobe was 96 i think was he oh yeah you're right that was much
earlier uh 99 what who the hell was it elton brand oh no yeah to the clippers no after the
bulls to the bulls he went to the clippers Were they that bad? He went to the Clippers. Yeah, this was after Jordan left.
My God.
They were fucking abysmal.
Yeah, this was...
Wow, I can't even think of the NBA at this point.
This was post-Jordan.
Yeah.
Because 97, 98 was Jordan's last year.
So then 98, 99, and then this is after that.
So the Bulls were...
That was post-Jordan.
Rodman...
This is two years removed from...
They shed that entire team.
Yeah, that whole team.
And they were the worst team
in the league.
Wow.
Or one of and then they won
the lottery and won the
first overall pick.
Elton Brand didn't do much
in the NBA later.
Number two.
Good.
Good.
Fine.
He's not he's not a
dominant number one
overall pick.
But he's fine.
But he is a guy who played
pretty good level multiple
time all star for like 18
years in the league.
So that's not bad but
number one pick charlie wasted your pick steve francis oh really overall to vancouver that is
impressive absolutely vancouver who was where memphis used to be for some reason they thought
it'd be a good idea to expand to vancouver don't understand that little stevie francis so yeah
little stevie francis going to uh going
there number three overall baron davis to the hornets oh that's these guys that's these guys
wally zerbiak number six overall let's draft a white polish guy that'll work great rip hamilton
wonderfully very well rip hamilton that's a good player he He goes number seven, so he could have had that. He goes to the Wizards, actually, later on.
Sean Marion to the Suns, number nine overall.
You got your Jason Terrys and guys like that.
Corey Maggette's in there.
Also, Ron Artest, Metta World Peace.
He'll have his own episode, by the way.
I got that planned out.
Number 16 overall.
Kirilenko went 24.
You got your Jeff Fosters and your, you know,
De'Veon Georges and your...
Who?
Crap.
You got your bench warmers.
What the fuck?
End of the second round,
second to last pick of the draft,
Manu Ginobili to the Spurs.
Yeah, from Argentina, which is...
That's a good pick.
Not a bad pick there, actually.
And undrafted in that year,
Roger Bell, who ended up being a pretty goddamn good player here.
Not a whole lot, but a few decent players here.
Nothing special.
So he goes to Vancouver number two overall.
Remember Steve Francis playing for Vancouver?
No.
That's because he said, I'm not fucking playing for Vancouver.
He never played there?
No.
He's like, I'm not playing there.
Well, Vancouver was in the middle of talking about moving at that point. So he's like i'm not playing there well vancouver was in the middle
of talking about moving at that point so he's like it's a it's a doomed franchise yeah fucking
3 000 miles away from my home why do i want to go there so uh he publicly announced that he's not
playing for the grizzlies he just pulled a john elway like fine you can draft me but i'm not going
there he said he didn't want to have his have to make his grandmother travel all the way from maryland to western canada to see him play
and uh all the people that pull a power move like that it's steve francis number two overall you can
do it though that's the thing that's some you project it later it sounds silly but at the time
hey today it sounds crazy he's the hope of the franchise.
So he's going to say what he wants to do.
So he said that, you know, he had a press conference where he was just like, yep, yep, not doing it.
Yeah, I don't want to be here.
And I'm not playing.
Like, he was really kind of shitty in the press conference.
What did they do?
Well, he said, quote, this is later on.
Now, I know people in Vancouver are still pissed off at me for forcing a trade out of there.
I damn near cried when I got taken by the grizzlies at number two i was not about to go up to freezing ass
canada so far away from my family where they were about to move the franchise anyway he said i'm
sorry but actually i'm not even really sorry everybody sees the business of basketball now
that team was gone the only thing i'm sorry about is that i went up there and gave probably the rudest press conference in nba history before they traded me he went to
vancouver he was just like yeah no so are you excited about signing no i'm not going to sign
here so i'm not doing it i want to do it so hopefully they'll trade me and then i can play
it was just very that's awesome not cool so finally august 27th 1999 he forces a trade if he's not going to play
there they got to get something so uh you're never going to get your value though is the problem so
they end up listen to this trade get your notebooks out everybody and you're like you need like a
translator transcoder secret decoder ring you need like a sundial set a certain way by the
ancient mayans they glow in the dark compass a lot going on here uh
three team trade okay the grizzlies wow okay trade steve tony massenberg who just makes me think of
mass and gill yeah just makes me think of tony douchebag yeah uh to the rockets so they trade
math they trade douchebag and francis to the rockets and. And the Rockets trade Antoine Carr, who was 100 by then.
Remember him on the Jazz?
No.
Center.
He looked like he was 198 in the finals.
Did he play for the Pacers, too?
Maybe.
He was around forever, Antoine Carr.
This is like his 20th year in the league.
Literally, like his 20th year in the league.
Jesus.
He was around in the early 80s, mid-80s.
Michael Dickerson, I believe, was a U of A guy.
Uh-huh.
Eric's brother. Othello Harrington and Brent Price and a 2003 No. 1 draft pick to the Grizzlies.
And then the Orlando Magic traded Don McLean and a 2001 draft pick to the Rockets there.
And then the Grizzlies, wow, there's more people in here how did they do this lee
mayberry's involved in this and roderick rhodes michael smith go to the magic all these people
get thrown up in the air people are all playing but might as well throw in larry bird too well
whenever there's huge trades like this it's like shit old contracts that they're trying to dump
they throw in like here's one player and a dumpy contract. And like, yeah, just crap, basically, to make the caps work and everything.
It's weird.
So in the end, he ends up on the Rockets.
Anyway, Steve Francis ends up on the Houston Rockets, which he's thrilled about because he played college ball down there.
So to him, that's his second home.
And he's excited about it.
He said, this is funny here.
I remember this one moment after the draft.
I was just sitting at the kitchen table at my stepdad's house looking at $80,000 in cash.
Why?
Number one, why?
Why do you have 80?
Why did you say I need all that cash to sit there?
He said, just sitting there for playing ball.
It didn't make sense.
My little sister was 10 years old.
The first thing I did was buy her a computer.
One of those big compact Presario joints.
Wow. old the first thing i did was buy her a computer one of those big compact presario joints wow that's a 1999 reference if i've ever fucking heard one a compact presario holy shit was that have an intel
pentium 2 processor in it holy fuck then she ruined it with napster wow oh fuck two years
later napster wouldn't even run on that thing are you kidding me destroyed that computer jesus
he said and all i heard that whole summer was Britney Spears blasting out of that motherfucker
day and night god damn it why'd I buy her that the second thing I did was buy my grandmother a house
grandmother deserves a house she put you you know she's the one who gave you 400 bucks in
plane ticket and was your only stability when your dad's in prison and your mom's dead so
the reason you didn't go to Vancouver so you better take care of her he said about a week or so later i started getting
all these random phone calls from creditors they're telling me i owe them money uh-oh so he's
like what the fuck is this so i asked my brothers what the hell are all these calls about you because
they're older he's like do you know what's up with that like do you ever get calls from people
are they scams or what they said quote well you know back in the day when we didn't have
any money mom used to sign for stuff in our names that's the only way we could get credit oh no and
this is very common very common in in all walks of life people will sign up for credit in their
kids names in their fucking dogs names and everything to try to people are trying to get
by sure if it's that or you don't have food that month you're you're fuck it you do you do
what you have to do so uh he said that way we could get credit he said man i'm telling you i
had these people calling me like stephen d francis well well well we finally know who the fuck you
are buddy we've been looking for you for 21 years yeah Yeah. You had this light bill. Oh, boy. Let me ask you something.
Let me ask you about the gas bill from 1987.
Now, we're going to talk about this.
There's a magazine subscription from the late 70s.
Do you remember when you were a few months old and your mom walked in the house after a long day and turned the lights on?
You owe us money for that.
Yeah.
She said you'd pay for it.
I don't know.
You're ready to. Yeah. He said you'd pay for it. I don't know. You're ready to.
Yeah.
He said, quote, America, man.
They never they're never going to forget.
No, they will.
They'll find you.
I was paying off credit card bills from when I was eight years old.
That's how far I came from.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
So he had to do it because his credit was fucked.
Yeah.
It's like, I can't even get a, you know, my life's fucked if I don't pay for the number
two overall draft pick fucking contract and I can't get a loan because my credit sucks?
Wow.
So that's brutal.
99-2000.
Because I ate goldfish when I was five?
Yeah, because I wanted to do my homework in the light when I was seven.
So 99-2000.
He's on Houston, and this is a team that's got some veterans.
This is a scary team to walk onto if you're a kid.
Charles Barkley and Hakeem Olajuwon are the leaders of the team.
So right away, these are two Hall of Fame legend, you know, Olympic gold winning fucking...
Tough sons of bitches, too.
Just legends.
I mean, yeah, they're known for being mentally pretty goddamn tough, too.
Is he competing with Mario Eli and Kenny Smith?
No, no, no. This is after
that. This is Kelvin Cato
is on the team. Bryce Drew
is a point guard. There's
not a lot of talent on this team.
Moochie Norris is on their team as a point
guard. Moochie. Moochie Norris. I remember
him. Christ almighty. They still have
Olajuwon and Barkley, though, at least for this year.
Yeah, Kenny Thomas, not Kenny Smith.
So, a little different there.
That team goes 34-48, the 99-2000.
This was, it's over.
The Drexler was gone and all that.
All those Ori and Ellie and all the Cassell,
all those mid-90s championship.
It's been disassembled by now.
So yeah, they're not that good.
They don't even make the playoffs that year at all.
Now, here's another thing from that playerstribune.com thing here. So yeah, they're not that good. They don't even make the playoffs that year at all.
Now here's another thing from that PlayersTribune.com thing here.
He talks about his first night out before his first NBA game.
And he went out with Sam Cassell, who was already in the league.
By that time was not on Houston anymore.
He was now on Milwaukee.
So he said, we were playing the B Bucks down in Houston. That's awesome.
And he knew I was about to take his ass to the cleaners.
But Sam is from Baltimore and I'm from D.C.
So this dude was trying to Jedi mind trick me into thinking he's doing me a favor, keeping me out until six in the morning, giving me all this brotherly advice.
Yeah, we weren't even partying, man.
This was all part of a scam.
advice yeah we weren't even partying man this was all part of his scam we were out at some club drinking iced tea or whatever and he's telling me about uh all about what i gotta do to survive in
the nba and the nba says after a while i'm like bro i think maybe i need to go i'm getting tired
and he hits me with nah what you need to do is sit here and listen listen to me tell you how to deal
with these groupies this motherfucker has me hypnotized then around 5 a.m the whole vibe changes he goes
now he's telling me how he's gonna whip my ass the next night i'm like yo wait a minute and he
says i'm telling you steve i'm gonna bust your sleepy ass rest up he's just doing this to fuck
with him to keep him up all night so he could fucking have an edge on him yeah so he's a little
tired he says we walk out of this club and the sun is up i it's got to be i got to be at the arena in like five hours i'm not even drunk i'm not nothing i'm just i just got sam's bullshit
ringing in my ears and i'm feeling like i've been up for three days says man and all his iced tea
caffeine oh yeah he's probably dehydrated at the shits are going on man i'm gonna get unloading
some iced tea he said man he came out that night and dropped 35 points
on me i was so tired in the first quarter i thought i was about to pass out he said remember
now i'm a punk rookie on a team with charles barkley and akim the dream elijah one these
dudes are in the huddle looking at me like i'm not shit he goes rudy t who's the coach rudy
tomjanovich is looking at me like, quote, we traded 15
motherfuckers to Vancouver for this, which is hilarious.
For this?
This bullshit?
That's fucking hilarious, man.
Oh, Christ.
He says, so I went like four for 13 and we lost.
I see Sam after the game and he's like, don't forget, we're friends off the court, but on the court. And he said, I'm like, you slick motherfucker. Lesson learned, though. I after the game and he's like don't forget we're friends off the court but on the
court and he said I'm like you slick motherfucker lesson learned though I know the game now I know
the game right so yeah that's that's what uh what a story that's fucking hilarious that's very
common for sure guys to try to play a rookie and yeah because you know tricks if you're a veteran
especially dudes that are from the same region together. Yeah, you're trying to play them a little bit. Pretend to be friends.
Yeah, yeah.
Bust their ass.
Yeah.
He said also Gary Payton, he said he idolized Gary Payton,
and he said he was on a plane to Seattle,
and they sat him next to Hakeem Olajuwon on purpose there,
just because Hakeem's the leader of the team.
And if you don't know who Hakeem Olajuwon is,
first of all, he's 7'1".
So he gets attention anyway.
Second of all, he's one of the greatest centers in the history of basketball.
He's incredible.
So skill-wise, he's got championships.
And, yeah, the guy's amazing.
Third of all, he's got this real calm presence to him.
He's from Nigeria.
Very peaceful.
Very peaceful, very calm. Everything nigeria he's very peaceful very calm he's everything he says he
speaks very and his grasp of the english language ain't real tight it's not real great and he and
we have his album yeah somebody sent us we do it's up somewhere on our on our shelf there we
have his album the dream there so yeah akim is just yeah he's one of those guys very calm very
chill very uh seems like he's very at peace
all the time so young guys it's kind of weird but he said that uh you know he knew what he was doing
he wanted me to learn he said we're about to take off i'm sitting there with my big headphones on
listening to jay-z akim is sitting there reading the quran not saying a word he goes then he gives
me a look you know how dream is he'll just look at you super wise super calm every word that comes out of this man's mouth is like it's coming straight from God Almighty.
I'm like, what's up, Dream?
Dream says, Steve, you walk around dressed like a bus driver, he tells him.
I say, come on, Dream.
And he says, what are these construction shoes you have on?
He says, Timberland boots.
Timberland.
He goes, these are Timberlands, man.
Come on.
What are these construction shoes that you have on he says Timberland he goes these are Timberlands man come on what are these construction shoes that you have on why are you are you paving at halftime that's what is going on here did you
get a job like on the on the on the arena crew you have to clean up after the game is that it
and then he says Steve let me help you come to me with my come to me come with me to my tailor and we'll get you 10 suits custom
made cashmere he says and he goes come on dream and he says cashmere steve come with me steve come
to my tailor so he's like okay yeah he's like it's fucking weird as shit and then another time he
says uh he played he played with him because he was gone in two years, Hakeem. He says he's sitting him on his plane.
He's got Jay-Z blasting.
And he says, Steve, he says, yeah, Dream.
He says, your music, what is that noise?
It's like 2000.
Noise.
Noise.
And so he says, come on, Dream.
And Hakeem says, turn it off, Steve.
I'm trying to concentrate on the word of God.
And he says, shit, Dream.
All right, fine. Turned it off. I just think that conversation is fucking hilarious. I wish I'd have been there. steve i'm trying to concentrate on the word of god and he says shit dream all right fine turned
it off i just think that conversation is fucking hilarious i should have been there over h to the
iso when the fucking background was fucking that's just weird you know i fucking love what
what the fuck okay big pimpin indeed yeah so 99 2000 steve plays in 77 games and starts all 77
of them so they threw him right into the fire as a point guard plays 36.1 minutes a game too
not fucking around 18 points a game though not too shabby 5.3 rebounds for a point guard
pretty good six point that shows you're scrappy and you're getting in there.
You got a lot of energy.
6.6 assists.
1.5 steals.
Not too shabby.
A couple of turnovers, too, which is a problem.
But he's a rookie point guard.
What do you want?
Also, he's in the dunk contest that year.
Really?
And he comes in second only to Vince Carter, who had one of the all-time great performances that year.
You remember Vince Carter used to have an eight-foot vertical leap.
It was ridiculous.
He was ridiculous, Vince Carter.
Oh, he was a small forward, wasn't he?
Yeah, Vince Carter.
Shooting guard, small forward.
He was just nasty.
He was playing up until, I think, last year, too.
Literally played in the last NBA game, played this year.
I think he played this year. That's crazy. His played in the last game played this i think he
played this year that's a that's crazy yeah he's still final shot was a three i watched some
fucking i saw the highlight for it's the last game played in the nba season this year because
of the fucking virus now think about these guys were at this point now and then finn's carter
was playing basketball like two days ago and think about the last 10 years from 2010 to 20,
what happens to Steve Francis in a minute when we get there.
And go, wow.
Talk about diverging paths from one and two in the dunk competition.
And Vince kept going.
Vince kept going.
But Stevie this year not only comes in second,
but he also wins Rookie of the Year.
He was Rookie of the Year?
What the fuck?
18 points and 6.6 assists, 5.3 rebounds.
That's rookie of the year time.
What have I missed?
It's crazy.
So he wins rookie of the year.
Also, his salary this year, $3,020,520.
Oh, rookies were getting paid.
Yeah, it's that number two overall pick.
Right.
Yeah, different setup.
Millions already.
Oh, millions.
And also, if that's not good enough he's got a giant
40 by 60 foot mural of him what he didn't put it up yeah uh painted on a brick building across
the street from the mci center in washington where the you know where they play basketball there
and uh the mural has steve dunking and it says and it reads get activated and it's a promotion for the Steve Francis
foundation,
which is a charity that helps underprivileged youth.
So he's rookie of the year with millions of dollars hanging out with a key
Melania one and he has a fucking 40 by 60 foot mural of him dunking in his
hometown.
Do I need to say it?
That's great.
That's grace.
I mean,
it doesn't fucking get any
better than that race is fuck if he exploded in a factory accident right now you'd go wow he really
he lived quite a life good job it's grace so uh yeah that's grace uh not everybody loves him though
no uh well they might love him but they have a funny way of showing it anyway july 21st 2000
he is in a he's getting a haircut he's in new york
and he's getting this is off season he's getting a haircut at danny and mel's salon and in uh in
harlem right so he's in he's in a barbershop and apparently at that point three three armed men
came in to rob everybody in the barbershop there i'm sure they heard a steve francis is in here
that word gets around the neighborhood next thing you know every stick-up guy in the neighborhood's like oh shit
bob beat me there already fuck there's probably nine guys coming after him like oh shit there's
an nba player there you know that's the way it happens here this is 8 30 p.m not the middle of
the night or anything they come in one guy has a gun uh they force steve and two other people into
a back room and steals all their jewelry.
And one of the men fires a warning shot into the air as they leave.
And nobody got hurt or anything.
But Steve had all his jewelry taken is the problem there.
Why are you carrying jewelry?
Because it's 2000.
It's also not the last time he'll have his jewelry taken.
No, no. Oh, my God, Steve.
Steve gets himself into some dumb shit.
He really does.
I get it.
I have to say about steve he
he for some reason he it's weird because it's like while he's playing he doesn't get into too
too much shit he really doesn't but then like the second he retires yeah he just turns into like a
fucking moron like he forgot everything in the world i don't know if he's just like where do
you hear how much money he makes maybe that's what it is i don't know but you know what street
life the the the way to keep billy bats from making telling you to go eat your shine box
is to wear the flash shit and be like i made it you don't get to talk to me like that
no and it's all about showing me that yeah that's the thing and it's anywhere you want to show that
you've done better but yeah you got
to be careful where the fuck you're going if you're going to be at heart in harlem at a place
in a neighborhood that's not your neighborhood right it's fucking 8 30 at night or anytime
wearing that shit that's jewelry you got to be careful you better have people with you or
something so uh yeah he says about uh he talks about gary payton which i think is funny here
because payton's known as one of the all-time best shit talkers in basketball.
He's also probably one of those best point guards also.
Great point guard.
Unbelievable.
Amazing defender.
He says, I can't forget about Gary Payton.
Listen, man, I've been around an unbelievable amount of shit talkers in my life.
I've been around some dudes better than GP, Gary Payton, that is.
Way more creative, way more sinister.
But this dude, this dude was like a volume shooter of shit talking he would not shut the hell up from the minute we got on the court and like i said i idolized him so there was no other option i had
to kill his ass he said uh that he had a good game against him against gary payton and he said uh
payton was walking back in the locker room afterwards and said quote
just wait you punk bitch rookie wait till i come down to houston i'll get you steve francis
so he goes you uh rookie bitch motherfucker i'll get you it's like a foul-mouthed wicked
witch of the west yes it is yeah i'll get you steve francis and your nigerian dream too what if she said shit like that to her and tony douchebag also
crack her ass bitch in your red shoes i'm gonna get you in that piece of shit rat ass dog of yours
i would love to show nasty fucking furry ass look at this watch that dog he's nasty you're nasty
for keeping that he got fleas and shit you're holding him look at you i would pay for the wicked witch of the west to be like a really pissed off at the
end of her shift like 45 year old heavyset black lady dmv worker that's what i want to be the
wicked ass bitch yeah you want what now don't grimey ass get out of there bitch you wearing
them closed toes because you have me out of fucking pedicure,
you filthy ass bitch.
I would love him.
I would love this woman
to call her a filthy ass bitch.
She'd be like,
where them dwarfs at?
She'd be like,
mixing up different shit.
She'll weird ass
this girl running there.
I don't know.
They had lollipop
little motherfuckers.
I don't know.
Go in there
and have them dance around,
teach them songs and shit.
I don't know.
I got to do something with them.
What else am I going to do?
The Wiz never did that shit.
They're getting pretty good, though.
Look at them.
They're in sync, if nothing else.
Ah, the Wiz blew it.
Yeah, the Wiz blew it.
They didn't have any.
Yeah, they could have had that.
See?
Wrong.
It would have been weird in the 30s, I admit.
It would have been a little strange for Judy Garland to pop up. But still, I would have loved it. I would have loved it. I would have liked weird in the 30s i admit it would have been a little strange for judy garland to pop up but still i would have loved it i would have loved it i would have liked the movie
a little more in the 30s they would have thought it was i don't know how it would have done there
but me as a child i would have been like hey cool it would be marla gibbs there you go that's
what i would have liked it to be i'd love it to be more i love it it to be Florence from the Jeffersons that's who I want
or 227 you take your pick but I want
Marla Gibbs in that role picture Marla Gibbs
just ooh child look at you
I would love that shit
a chick from the help feeding shit
pond yeah yeah yeah
she'd be fucking great so good
she's the witch
yeah I want to see that
she's the shit man i love it
let's see look on her face she's a
eyes all big i don't think so so i love her 2000 2001 on the houston rockets or nicole
byer maybe stick her in there she'd be great i don't know she's a little too nice and likable
i don't know no no she just has to be nice to those people because they're making fucked up
ass cakes.
If she was mean,
people would be mad at her.
But you know she gets off
there and she's like,
I don't know what the fuck
is wrong with you.
Can't put a fucking egg
in a cake and make it better?
Damn.
Jesus, people are fucking stupid.
I got to eat this shit
in front of them
and act like,
oh, this is fun.
She's a comic.
She gets through it all.
She's a comic.
Yeah, she sexually harasses
guys on the show constantly.
That's allowed.
If it was a dude, it'd be crazy.
Imagine that.
Imagine a heavyset dude sitting there just grabbing fucking every time.
Pulling over some hot paramedic.
Yeah.
Let's bring Katie in here.
Katie.
I'm a little faint.
Look at her with that.
Oh, that's right.
Now put her right by me because you know I'm gonna be doing that
I like watching her walk away
not allowed
not allowed
but Nicole Meyer
can do it all day
it's charming as fuck
yeah it's charming
but she's a comic
so she walks
she's essentially
hosting a show there
so she walks off
and she's like
ugh
fuck this job
fucking people
Jesus Christ
if this didn't pay so well
oh god damn it I swear to god if this
didn't make my show sell out i would fucking quit this shit tomorrow tomorrow i mean tickets i just
sold in des moines that's all it is shit so uh the next season 45 and 37 for the Rockets for 2000-2001. So they turn it around a little bit slightly here.
Not much, though.
Stevie, though, starts 79 games that year.
39.9 minutes a game.
So 40 minutes a game.
19.9 points a game.
20 points a game.
Not bad.
6.9 rebounds.
Is that right?
Yeah, 6.5 assists.
So that's pretty goddamn good.
1.8 steals.
That's good.
Super unselfish.
That's just nasty.
And he's scoring that much.
And he's an all-star that year as well.
And he makes $3,246,960.
Unbelievable.
Fuck, not too shabby, man.
$2.6 million in two years.
That's great.
Fuck.
Fuck, I'm not too shabby, man.
She was worth $6 million in two years.
That's great.
Fuck.
September 27, 2001, a tornado strikes the University of Maryland College Park campus,
kills two students, and displaces about 700 kids from their dorms and really fucks a bunch of shit up here.
And Francis arranged to sponsor a big dinner for the displaced students and all this type
of shit and tried to give them be nice to them.
Basically, he said, I remember all these people here supporting me while I was a Maryland student.
And this is just a small way that I can give back to those who've helped me.
So he's trying.
He's trying to be a good guy and says he's a bad guy at this point.
2001-2002 season.
Not good for the Rockets.
28-54.
Yikes. That is fucking bad times. That's ugly. That's a2 season. Not good for the Rockets. 28-54. Fuck. Yikes.
That is fucking bad times.
That's a shit season.
Rudy Tomjanovich is still there.
Really?
Yeah, they're like,
we can fire him,
but he did win those titles.
You can't fire that guy.
You gotta let him just fucking sink it.
There's certain sports towns,
and they're non-major cities.
Not that Houston's not a major city,
but it's not like New York or L.A. or one of those.
Yeah.
Where if you win a title in one of these small places, you are king till you die.
Right.
You're just king for life.
In the Minneapolis.
Yeah.
I mean, in Dallas for a long time, Tom Landry sucked for 10 fucking years before Jerry Jones bought the team and fired him.
But, I mean, they didn't know how to fire that guy.
He's still the greatest man in the world to them.
That's what I'm saying. And then Roger Sta and then roger starbuck yeah that's how
it works though it's these people can be coaches for life they're almost like it's like a little
fiefdom like a college coach wins a national championship and then he just lords over the
whole area for a while you're in some weird you're the most you're famous world famous guy in a small
town right how weird college is like that like the coach of
north carolina yeah you're in fucking chapel hill right it's not big no it's not i mean it's outside
raleigh but and some of these places are in like small towns where all it is is the college yeah
and there's a person who's super famous that's like that basically runs it they turn they're
like a corrupt sheriff in the 30s in a small town in the South.
They're going to put you in a chain gang.
That's what it feels like.
It's Coach Kush.
He didn't even fucking win.
That's what I mean.
That's what I'm saying.
They went to the Rose Bowl once
and fucking 20 years he was here or whatever.
And so he's a hero that can choke kids
until he gets fired.
It's insane.
Fucking weird, dude.
So December 16, 2001, during the season steve is
injured uh i mean he wasn't injured that much that year too like he only missed three games that year
so uh not no i'm sorry the 2001 2002 season here i'm sorry i apologize but he uh either way he's
injured this year uh and december 16 2001 he is arrested uh here. He's driving at 5 a.m., which is never going to be a good sign.
And this is not after a lot of iced tea, apparently, here.
He got a little Long Island iced teas?
Might have mixed a little Long Island in with his iced tea here.
Apparently, he's released on bail.
He didn't comment or anything like that.
But, yes, he's arrested.
He's in a white Mercedes.
He ran a red light at 4 48 a.m
they pulled him over and he slurred his words and admitted he'd been drinking and taking painkillers
for his injured ankle oh no so he slurred his words he's like yeah it's like pills and drinking
and blah blah blah so they're like no well that's probably not and he's like stumbling too like he's
not in good shape pills and booze aren't a good mix yeah 2001 they didn't
take duis as serious as they do today either yeah not quite not quite and so he's a little wobbly
and he refused to take a breathalyzer test that's a good move so i'm not going to do that they said
okay we'll do a sobriety you know field sobriety he failed that miserably uh obviously yeah he
could barely stand up so when he's arrested and when it goes to trial here
he uh ends up getting a bench trial which is just the judge no jury so uh it comes to that now the
judge wearing a rocket jersey he under his he had an hakeem jersey on under his his deal there
now during cross-examination of the of the officer, Steve Francis' lawyer said that he was pointing out consistencies in this guy's testimony.
He portrayed the cop as an overzealous cop who saw evidence of a crime when none existed.
They said that Francis didn't run a red light because he was loaded and because he was all fucked up.
run a red light because he was loaded and because he was all fucked up he simply grew impatient with the long light at 4 48 in the morning because sometimes those lights bitch unless there's two
cars it won't trigger it and you'll sit there for an hour right so he said he simply got tired of it
and drove through the light when he saw nobody was coming and it was clearly safe got it which
we've all done that in the middle of the night like i am not fucking sitting here anymore i can't
take it there's look there's no cars for a mile in any direction i'm fucking going so uh yeah he said they uh they
tried they portrayed the cop the cop as quote yet another uh that steve is yet another african
american man pulled over by a southern cop yeah is the way they put it and uh the sergeant ended up calling uh basically said uh afterwards the police sergeant
after the trial asked if asked the lawyer if he could get an autograph for his son oh he's a fan
so the the sergeant was a fan not the guy at the arresting officer so they weren't even mad at
steve for calling them saying they just pulled him over i guess it's all in the game at that
point in court it's like yeah yeah whatever i gave you a ticket you called me a racist it's all in the game that's i mean
that's what it is though i gave you a ticket you called me a spurs fan i get it i get it i understand
how you call me a mavs fan no no worries so uh yeah they said that that the the lawyer had the
balls to say that his eyes were bloodshot because he had allergies. Yeah, he had allergies. And that his ankle was, he had an injured ankle from basketball.
That was the reason why he couldn't do a field sobriety test.
It was his injured ankle, not his lack of balance or anything like that.
And they said he did have four drinks that evening.
They do admit that, but he consumed what they called quote four massive
meals that offset the effects of the alcohol that night he ate four meals how many times do you eat
dinner he eats four dinners that is only six three and not even that big a couple of them came in the
middle of the night he's been drinking so because i mean if he had four drinks so at 3 a.m he was drinking and eating
whole meals like multiple times what the hell's going on there your honor he has had five turkeys
since 6 p.m your honor just sat back at denny's and just said keep it coming i was just a weird
thing he ordered a turkey and said keep them coming keep them coming it's weird it's very
strange i so you can understand the effects of the alcohol which the tryptophan also is what gave him
the bloodshot eyes and the appearance of being intoxicated when really he was just slightly
drowsy from a turkey hangover.
You get how that is, Your Honor.
They're saying this shit to a judge.
Yeah.
Okay.
Dismissed.
So the judge retires to his chambers for 10 minutes and then returns with the verdict.
And he says, quote, I've got reasonable doubt, so the defendant's not guilty.
Bye, Steve.
Have a good one.
Not guilty.
Are you kidding me?
Good luck tonight.
Okay.
Sure.
I know you're playing GP.
Get out there.
Check this guy's.
Who's he betting on?
Wow. He's got the Rockets and the over on this shit it's because i got two bets i got the rockets on the one and i'm betting the
over and stevie i need stevie to need stevie to score some points tonight i'm not sure if the
other team's gonna make up the difference wow so not guilty even though he admits he had four
drinks couldn't walk and uh admitted he drank and took painkillers. Try that next time you're out, everybody.
Just tell them you've been eating for two weeks straight.
Give that a shot.
Just tell them, look, I've had a bunch of drinks and painkillers tonight.
Cool?
And then be arrested and then see if you get away with it.
Just as a social experiment.
I've had all of that, but I've also had one meal per per drink one meal
per meal i have a long island iced tea and an entire side of roast beef every mashed potatoes
gravy i really do it i do it up the whole time it's really sides all the carts really good stuff
i do it up so uh yeah very very interesting here that is impressive not bad on the court though he only
played 57 games because of the ankle that year he's an all-star though and he scores 21.6 points
a game seven rebounds 6.4 assists this is fucking great he was really good really good makes 3
million 473 520 dollars this is ridiculous not Not bad. 2002, 2003, Houston, 43 and 39.
Again, very mediocre.
They're letting Tom Jonovich hold on again.
I feel like the league just feels bad for him because he got punched in the head in the 70s.
They're like, we're just happy he's alive still.
He really went through a tough time there.
We're going to keep him on.
It's like a thing like when the Rockets, like the league was like, look, we'll give you a few extra bucks from everybody else.
If you just hire Rudy, we all feel bad for him.
Just give him a little wink.
You could have somebody else call in plays.
We don't care.
He's, quote, the coach.
Yeah.
But just in anybody's defense who does punch him,
I'm pretty sure we could punch him from where we sit.
That man has the biggest head on Earth.
Oh, it's huge.
He has a Thanksgiving Day parade fucking head.
You've seen him get punched, right, in the 70s?
This is very disturbing.
That man's head, though, is enormous.
It's a big fucking head.
You can hit it at any point.
And when you see him in 70s basketball gear, it's even bigger because he's in a tight tank
top and nut hugger shorts.
So you're like, what the fuck?
What the hell, Rudy?
He's left nuts hanging out.
Rudy, this is not a good look for you.
A guy that's built like that being named Rudy doesn't fit either.
Rudy.
Yeah, he's not a handsome man either.
He's not a handsome man.
He looks like if you put air into the guy from Grumpy Old Man.
Grumpy Old Man.
Walter Matthau.
Yeah, Walter Matthau's ass just blew him up.
Filled in the, yeah.
I thought I'd have a bigger nose, but I see where you're going.
Just a big, fat man.
He's a big dude.
He's just a big head.
Not fat, even.
He's not fat, though.
Just big.
He's a big...
He's a NBA player.
He's 6'7", I think.
He's a massive man.
He's a big guy.
So 2002-2003 for Stevie plays in 81 games.
Not too shabby.
21 points a game.
6.2 rebounds.
6.2 assists.
1.2 steals.
Or 1.7 steals.
So good.
Doing well.
$4,383,581 that year for old Stevie.
So, yeah, this is going well for Stevie.
He's got like $15 million already.
He's made a lot, and it's about to get a lot better for him
because he's about to sign a new contract.
His rookie deal's up, and it's rub your hands together
because he's an all-star the last two years,
and he is averaging over 20 points a game
and over six rebounds and assists.
He's going to be a hot commodity.
$15 million is slumming it.
Yeah, well, let's find out here
so 2003 2004 with the rockets 45 and 37 rudy's finally gone they bring in jeff van gundy to hang
on to people's ankles while they fight so uh they do make the playoffs that year yeah and they lose
to the lakers in five games this is the kobe shack lakers and you're gonna get fucking stomped on by
them because they just ran the league for three years or so so it's the way that works uh now stevie is an
all-star again this year so three times in a row all-star plays in 79 games averages 16.6 points a
game uh 5.5 rebounds 6.2 assists this year he makes 10 million,960,000.
Wow.
He's almost doubled his... Wow.
Imagine that.
He's made $25 million.
Imagine how good that has to feel.
Ten of it this year.
That's so much money.
That's got to feel so good.
Yeah.
Every day you wake up, you got to be like, someone's paying me $10 million to be alive.
This is crazy.
For the next 12 months.
How wild is that?
And then they
have to pay me more fucking weird they want me to live for more for years they have to pay me
even if i'm a dick or i suck they still have to pay me i could be terrible i could come in and
start shooting underhand granny shots they'd still have to pay me 10 million dollars for that how
awesome is that anything i want i could say you know what i've been thinking about it and everyone
in the league expects me to shoot with my right hand.
I'm a lefty from now on.
And for the next three years,
I could try to practice being a lefty all on their dime.
$10 million.
They'd have to pay me.
How great is that?
Just clang, air balls.
Can we make the rim a square?
I'm better at it.
I'm better.
Take the roof off.
I'll do it.
God damn damn never mind
hold on so speaking of the odd couple here uh or walter matthau this is when yaoming comes to the
team oh boy him and yaoming are a hilarious combination that's the point guard center
yeah and this is this is your johnson kareem here it's your magic kareem and it's it's fucking
hilarious because they're very different looking
and it's very funny and he loved yaoming he loves him really fucking loves him i have a ton of
quotes here that it's hilarious to him oh he has so much fun he loves it he just he loves people's
reaction to the two of them hanging out he just loves it he says i think it's because of the
energy of the city when me and ya were together that That was my guy. When he came to Houston, we were some odd
couple motherfuckers, man.
A dude from China and a dude from
D.C. and it wasn't even the language that was the problem.
That was just part of it.
I'm partially deaf in my
left ear and Yao is partially
deaf in his right ear and we're trying to speak
to one another in basic English.
He's turning his head, huh? I'm turning my head,
what, huh?
Even if they can't hear each other, they're mixing it up because of the language and then when they're
getting it right they can't hear each other anyway so this is the the polar opposites of
jackie chan and chris hucker the one they just shrink give the size to the other guy and they're
doing who's on first over here like what what What? Huh? What? Who's on what?
No.
He?
What?
Huh?
Yes.
What?
Huh?
No.
No.
Okay.
I'll see you then.
What?
Huh?
Huh?
Where?
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
So, yeah.
He said it was.
Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth?
Yeah.
Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth?
Yeah. He goes, huh?
I understand them.
I can't even hear them.
What now?
That would have added an extra layer of confusion to that movie.
If one was deaf.
They were both a little deaf.
In opposite ears.
Yeah, so sometimes they don't understand each other.
Sometimes they just can't hear each other.
What?
Can you not hear me or do do not understand what I'm saying?
No, I get the words, but what?
I can't speak up.
It's so good.
I'll bet they quoted Rush Hour back and forth a lot.
I would assume so.
He was like, yeah, check out this Shanghai night looking motherfucker over here.
So he said that it was ridiculous, but he was my man.
He was the kindest, most respectful, smartest teammate I ever had.
This dude had to do 15 interviews before shoot-around
and then 15 interviews after shoot-around.
Cameras following him everywhere.
He went on the road.
It was crazy.
And he would ask us, are you guys okay with the cameras?
Does it bother you?
He was actually polite enough.
He didn't want the team to be
upset about it meanwhile there's you know every chinese media outlet in the world is following him
and there's always a documentary crew and like i mean the guy was a fucking worldwide phenomenon
yeah uh he said that's what's gonna happen too because there aren't many chinese are there
probably he was probably the only one at that time there's i mean there's a lot of good chinese
basketball yeah exactly jeremy lin was right i think just coming into the league at that time there's i mean there's a lot of good chinese basketball yeah exactly jeremy lin was right i think just coming into the league at that time he's not from china right that's i mean
he they're just like holy shit that dude's asian-ish right look at him he looks asian
and there's over a billion people over there and they gotta send all their media and the nba
cover him and yeah and the nba has gotten even before yeah it was really blowing up in asia it
was really becoming a huge deal right Right. Because they've had their own basketball league since the 50s over there, just like we had.
I mean, they got their NBA the same time we did, pretty much.
But none of them could compete with these guys.
Well, yeah.
They're kind of a homogeneous society.
Yeah.
It's not quite the same.
There's not a lot of Vince Carters just growing up in China, fucking jumping eight feet in the air.
Even if they were athletic at five foot nine, that's not going to compete.
You know what?
I'll fucking say it.
Yeah.
I'll say it right now.
You can call me anything you want.
In general.
Yeah.
Black people seem to be better athletes than Asians.
Okay.
There.
Controversial.
I know.
It's crazy.
Controversial.
Controversial.
Controversial.
Controversial.
Controversial.
Controversial.
Controversial.
Controversial.
Controversial.
Controversial.
Controversial.
Controversial.
Controversial.
Controversial.
Controversial.
Controversial.
Controversial.
Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial controversial i know it's crazy controversial controversial it's 2020 they're equal jesus
christ they have they have equal rights to be athletes as much as they want to be but if you
put your average black guy next to your average asian guy and said jump one's gonna probably
satisfy you slightly more than the other is all we're getting this ball through that rim just saying on athleticism alone just saying that's all i'm saying i'm paying one of
them yeah yeah we'll put the baseball scouts are they're scouring the dominican and not i mean
china's got good base but still they're like dominican yeah i'm gonna go down there it's just
the way it is it's just that there's and you know whatever in most in most
athletic fronts also probably there's a lot of great asian athletes too honestly all of them
yeah well there's a lot of great asian athletes out there we're saying on the average right this
is true that's why in the nba there's you could name the asian guys that have ever played in the league. All four of them.
You know what I mean?
If I said, name all the black guys that ever played in the NBA.
It's going to take a minute.
I better bring a cot and a fucking, you know, and a lunch and dinner and four meals to have
with my four drinks and everything else.
I've heard counting to a million takes a long time.
It does.
He said, back to yaoming here
so good he uh he's yaoming he says uh that's the kind of person he was you know polite with
the cameras he said he was my favorite teammate ever hands down you would not expect for some
reason but uh he was such a good player too i still think about what could have been if yao
hadn't rushed back from his injuries too soon
and if they'd have just kept us together.
It still haunts me.
We'd have got on some runs.
Everybody in Houston knows it.
But what did they do?
They traded my ass to Orlando for Tracy McGrady.
That's how they got McGrady there.
That's how they got McGrady in Houston for Steve Francis.
The trade happens June 29, 2004.
for Steve Francis.
The trade happens June 29, 2004.
It's Steve, Kelvin Cato, and Coutinho Mobley all going to the Magic for Reese Gaines.
Wow, Jawan Howard's still around.
No kidding.
Tyrone Liu, who's a fucking coach now,
and Tracy McGrady.
There's an Asian guy.
There you go.
Tyrone Liu.
There's some other stuff in there, too.
That's a beige baby right there.
That's what I mean.
There you go.
That's perfect. Exactly. A beige baby right there. Yeah, that's what I mean. There you go. That's perfect.
Exactly.
A beige baby.
Great.
It works out perfect.
So 2004, 2005, he's on Orlando.
This is a weird team.
We got Stacey Augman on the team, who was definitely at the end of his day.
Fucking magic uniform.
Yeah.
Weird, right?
Doug Christie, fucking scared of his wife, running around there going, don't pass to
me.
My wife told me not to score too much tonight.
So fuck all of you.'s gonna fuck everybody they also had grant hill dwight
howard yeah fucking uh uh catino mobley like we said to sean stevenson who i believe will have an
episode himself uh turkalu was on that team he's great yeah it's an interesting team they had there
but on the record it doesn't quite show they were 36 and 46 on the floor fired their coach halfway through the year
just not a good place to be traded that's a slow team a mess yeah it's a mess uh he plays in 78
games stevie little stevie does 38.2 minutes a game 21.3 points because they probably said
fucking score someone needs to or any one of yeah uh 5.8 rebounds, 7 assists, 1.4 steals, so
he's doing his thing as much as he possibly can.
And they reward
him handsomely for that. His contract
this year, $12,330,000.
Holy shit.
For Stevie Ballgame here. Not too shabby.
He has made so much money.
I'm impressed. I am fucking impressed.
Now, 2005-2006,
in the middle of that season, February 22nd, 2006, he's traded by the Magic
to the Knicks now for Trevor Ariza and Penny Hardaway.
Okay.
So, yeah.
Ooh.
That's when the Magic got Penny Hardaway back.
Yeah.
They signed him and then let him retire.
At the end, yeah.
And he was just, his legs were shot.
Poor guy.
Penny was one of those guys that, fuck, was he so fun to watch.
So good.
Oh, was he so good.
So fast.
Fun to watch.
He's a 6'7".
Yeah.
For a point guard, he was nasty.
6'7".
Dunks were creative and fun.
Yeah, I mean, he could play a shooting guard, too.
His dunks, he was athletic.
His passes were creative.
He was unselfish as shit.
He could shoot.
Fuck, he was good heartbreaking
that was really rough to watch him get injured and just kind of most heartbreaking of any sport
yeah him him and grant hill are like the two like what could have been because grant hill was great
grant hill figured it out how to still be a great player but just not the same player he was pre
injuries but penny was just nowhere near the same player he was never the suns had him it was not
got hurt with Detroit?
Early on, yeah, in the first few years.
The Suns had both of them, for fuck's sake.
The Suns will pick up any old garbage you throw out.
He was good at one point.
Take Gugliotta, too.
I was going to say, there's a reason why Tom Gugliotta,
they wanted Gugliotta.
They got him.
That's a big deal.
They signed him away from Washington
and gave that guy like $80 million.
We'll pay it.
Sure, why not?
Why do we suck for the next 20 years?
I don't know.
That sounds like business.
Beginning of the end, sir.
So he's on the Knicks in 2005, 2006.
This is bad times for the Knicks, let's just say.
23 and 59.
This has been, I should say, bad times.
It's been bad times for the Knicks for the last 20 years or so.
And this was right in the middle of it here.
Larry Brown was coaching this team.
And next year it'll be Isaiah Thomas.
Larry Brown will leave.
And not good stuff.
Trevor Ariza, Matt Barnes, Eddie Curry was still on this team.
Channing Frye, Antonio Davis was still in the league at that point.
Stephon Marbury was on that team.
Wow.
Yeah, he had Francis and Marbury.
Did Marbury go there after Phoenix?
Yeah, I think so.
Is that right?
No, right before.
I can't remember now.
That all went bad for him.
I'll bet he has a story, too, for us.
I'm sure he does.
Yeah, Marbury.
And Jalen and Malik Rose.
Wow.
Anybody named Rose will take.
He's on the team.
So not a good team, basically, for the Knicks here.
Now he ends up, well, he's midway through here.
2005-2006 totals 14.4 points a game.
Doesn't do well for the Knicks at all.
Doesn't seem comfortable there.
No.
No, doesn't seem comfortable.
Doesn't seem to fit in with what's going on.
They don't play him.
They start him half the time for the part of the season he's there.
He does make $13.7 million, though.
So that'll make him feel slightly better, probably.
2006, 2007, he's with the Knicks again.
This is Isaiah Thomas coaching.
Jesus Christ.
33-49 as a team.
Not much better here.
Now, Nate Robinson is on this team.
This is pretty funny because Nate Robinson, he won a dunk contest.
He did.
Little tiny guy there.
Nate says that when Francis – Robinson remembered a time when Robinson was 16 years old.
He was at a basketball camp in Baltimore where Steve Francis was one of the guys attending and talking to the kids and shit and asked to take a picture with him on the bench.
So while they're teammates, Robinson brings the picture in and goes, yo, look at this.
Check this shit out.
I was 16 sitting next to you.
And now I'm going to try to steal your job.
Right.
So funny, huh?
He he. I want a dunk contest since here pretty neat and 2006 2007 he only plays in 44 games and only
starts 30 so francis francis does 11.3 points a game 3.6 rebounds 3.9 assists his numbers have
gone way down in every area except for one.
What's that?
And that's salary.
Because this year he makes $15,070,000.
Oh, boy.
$15 million.
How much do you make, Nate?
Fuck me.
That is ridiculous.
Wow.
Wow.
God damn, I can't wrap my head around that.
In two years, he made over $25 million in New York City.
Fuck me.
I'll bet it's all gone.
I'll bet it's all gone in rent.
Wow.
Just it.
He's just got a one bedroom.
It's not even like that nice.
No.
He's like, parking space?
Shit, I'm not made of money.
Take the damn subway.
I didn't buy a parking space.
God damn.
I didn't go to Harvard.
I went to University of Maryland.
Shit.
This is what's not made of money.
So June 28, 2007, after the season, the Knicks trade him with Channing Frye to the Trailblazers
for Dan Dickow, Fred Jones, and Zach Randolph, who will also have an episode.
Zach Randolph's been arrested a lot.
He's a gangster.
Oh, he's fucking awesome.
We'll talk about him.
He is so badass.
So that's June 28th.
July 11th, 2007, he's waived by the Trailblazers.
This trade is just basically the Trailblazers have cap room.
They don't want Francis, but they have cap room to eat his salary.
Digest it and throw him in the wolves.
To just digest it.
Exactly.
So they're going to eat his salary and just get rid of him.
So they waive him.
July 20th, 2007th 2007 he signed as a
free agent by houston really the rockets get him back he didn't leave houston in any acrimony they
just traded him for tracy mcgrady it wasn't like he was like get me the fuck out of here fuck this
place trade me he liked it there he loved houston it was his home team he liked him uh so he signs
with them 2007 2008 in houston 55 and 27 they've started to get their shit
together at this point finally which is good uh this is rick addleman's coaching now so they've
gone through some coaches too he's on his team ray for alston who we know i'll skip to my loo
that's a wild episode by the way listen to that episode of crime and sports uh shane baddie is on
this team uh yaoming is still on this team they still have
tracy mcgrady and uh bonzie wells some guys like that uh he said well let's let him say it uh when
i went back to houston in 2007 i was so happy to be home but honestly that's when everything really
started to go downhill man rick adleman look i swear i was working my ass off in practice ask
yeah he'll tell you you won't understand him
for shit that's me but he'll tell you don't stand on his right yeah and if you say really he'll go
what he'll tell you but addleman was playing luther head and aaron brooks and ray for allston
over me no disrespect to those guys but come on man i was getting did not plays and i'd be sitting
on the bench and the crowd would still be chanting my name. I'd come home at night, sit out on my porch for hours just in complete silence.
No drinking, no music, no nothing.
I'd sit out there till one o'clock in the morning just thinking.
It's having a bit of a...
You should be sitting out there counting your fucking money, bro.
He's just not happy, though.
He wants to be a star.
He wants to play.
He wants to fucking play as anybody does.
Do you? Yeah, you want to fucking play. If you're a player, you want to play. That's it. He wants to play. He wants to fucking play, as anybody does. Do you?
Yeah, you want to fucking play.
If you're a player, you want to play.
That's it.
You want to play and be good.
There's a difference between you and me.
You've got to have that.
Well, him and you.
Yeah.
Didn't say me.
He's made millions.
At this point, I go, fuck him.
I'm sitting with you.
I'm not making shit.
Don't play me.
I don't give a shit.
I don't care.
For him, though, you have to be an NBA player, and especially to not just, let's say you're
6'11", and you came up in high school, and especially to not just, let's say you're 6'11",
and you came up in high school and everybody thought you were hot shit and you were on the AAU teams.
You don't even have to want to play basketball.
People just move you through that.
They want you to play.
Yeah, they move you through it, and when you step on the court, you do those motions,
and then they move you through everything else.
He had to do his own shit.
He had to make it out of nothing.
To have that level of drive and competition to go
from where he was to actually get to the number two overall draft pick you have to want to play
right because he could very easily just stop playing when he was selling crack and been like
fuck it what am i playing at the firehouse who gives a shit but i mean he's got this thing about
him that's very competitive and uh the rockets give him a christmas present on december 23rd 2008 he's traded by the rockets
with cash and a 2009 second round draft pick to memphis you know that is right the grizzlies
that's guess what asshole guess where you get to go back there again uh for for a 2011 second
round draft pick so they got So they got nothing for him.
They got nothing.
They gave him away for a second-round draft pick, which is nothing.
And Houston didn't even get the draft pick because it was a top 55 protected.
The way the trade works, if it was too good of a pick, then you don't get it.
Basically, it had to be only if it was a shit pick.
And it was a shit pick, so they didn't even get that pick, so they gave him away.
Just gave him to the Grizzlies there.
So Houston that year, that year, he only plays in 10 games, Steve does.
Only for Houston.
He will not play for the Grizzlies.
He refuses.
At the beginning or the end, he has not played a fucking game for the Grizzlies and will
not play a game for the Grizzlies.
Okay.
That's awesome.
That's great.
He fucking, the Grizzlies.
They took him twice.
And he snubbed them both times.
He said, rather not even play than fucking play with you.
I know you're not in Vancouver anymore.
I just hate your stupid teal jerseys and I'm not fucking playing there.
Don't like them.
You guys suck.
So yeah, he plays in 10 games that year only 19.9 minutes 5.5 points a game just you know he's he's done at this point
so overall though that'll be the end of his nba career he's done he's done uh not done getting
paid but done what did he get paid for that season oh don't worry we'll talk about in a second here overall though he plays in 576 games 18.1 points a game 5.6 rebounds six assists and 1.5 steals for his career he scored
almost 10 000 points over his career not too fucking shabby i can tell you exactly how many
points i don't have total points here but that's okay yeah he scored a shitload of points. Good for him. Not a bad career. This year, he makes...
Houston has to pay him $2,430,000, but Portland pays him $15,070,000.
To not play for them.
To not play for really anybody, for that matter.
It's $17 million for five games.
$17.5 million even to play in 10 games and start three.
Unbelievable.
That's fucking amazing.
I'm available.
I don't even know what to say about that.
I'm fucking, that's outrageous and awesome.
That's great.
He said he didn't know what to do with himself, though, because he said, what the fuck?
He's only 32, and he feels like he's got game left.
And he's like, well, 32 and you can retire.
That's what I'm saying.
He said, I went from selling drugs on the corners in D.C. to the NBA in four years.
And now it's over.
It's a wrap at 32.
Yeah, I knew it was the end.
And that's real.
Some real.
And that's some really, really hard shit to swallow.
I don't care who you are.
Are you out of your fucking mind?
We're not.
This isn't us.
That's the thing.
For us, we're like, awesome.
I don't have to do anything anymore.
I did it.
I have all this money.
Yay.
Bye.
I did it.
For them, their whole life has been hustle.
Hustle.
The team going around, hanging out with the guys, getting in every night, shooting around,
having reporters ask you questions, having people give a shit what you think.
If you have something to say, they print it and it matters fucking like people cheering for you women
liking you all that's a lot to accept you know what else james this is 2007 he's about to get
hit with a fucking recession that's the other thing yeah he's about to get everybody him and
everyone else about to get their fucking nuts stomped on with a hardcore recession here. So that's got to be depressing for him.
But it's a little easier to swallow because 2008-2009 season, he doesn't even fucking play.
Does not play, but want to hear what he makes?
Oh, boy.
Okay.
Memphis has to pay him for not playing him, for him never playing a game there.
$2,636,550.
That's awesome.
Portland. Oh, my God. That's awesome. Portland.
Oh my God, they've got the rest of his contract?
Portland has to pay him this year $17,180,000.
Steve, why are you bitching, man?
He made $20 million for not even picking up a basketball.
He could have never had a pair of sneakers on that entire year, and he made $20 million.
Never mind a basketball he could
have never he could have never have had his dick away he could have masturbated for 365 straight
days they gave him 20 million dollars he could have been dunking pantsless on a fucking phone
booth and they gave him like 150 grand a jerk for that season it's not bad. That is awesome. That's fucking crazy.
I don't even know.
Portland, I'm available.
Wow, that's amazing to me.
That's so awesome.
Talk about scoring.
They agreed to pay him $34 million for nothing, James.
For nothing, yeah.
Just because they had it under the cap.
That's what the NBA has going on.
Well, that way, that year, the way they planned it is then this year, he's gone and they have this huge cap space.
And maybe they were looking at free agents.
It's all strategic rather than signing players that you think are good on the team.
That is awesome.
That's amazing.
He's the beneficiary of some really fucking awesome fuzzy math where it's like, yeah, we finessed the NBA.
Those are the cracks that you can fall into just being a
roster guy basically but you're signed to a guaranteed deal someone's got to take that
shit and pay it so either way the teams are like this is our cap we're going to pay it out every
year anyway so you know might as well they don't give a shit who they pay it over there imagine
though if you were the guy writing that check like that we're paying him that he's not even here
you guys realize you're paying me
$120,000, right?
Can we get him
to do a commercial
or work the hot dog concession
or sell programs or something?
Can we make him
wash everybody's cars?
What the fuck are we doing?
He wants to be on the court?
Fine.
He can be the guy
that comes out
with the little mop thing
when someone falls down.
He can just squeegee it up
real quick and go
so no one slips.
That's actually a great idea.
And he'll wave.
How you doing?
Hey, how you doing?
Steve Francis. 17 million doing clean up shack sweat yeah
perfect so he says at this point from the time my mother passed away when i was 18 to the time i
left the nba i never let my guard down not one single minute i was like a soldier at war i never
exhaled when they get when the end came it was almost like i was signing off like
well that was a good run like yeah later fuckers like that was his whole life in his mind like he's
just like well what are you gonna do now i see it though the bummer is that now he's got a he's
faced with his mortality and he's got to think about how oh that's the end in the middle of your
mid-30s your mid-30s less than your mid the early 30s but he doesn't realize that he's got so much
life to live there's so much go be uh and he could do whatever he want with it to live what i want
and he does he has record labels he starts up and all that oh he does that are you kidding me
steve we'll talk about it don't worry he says look you can think whatever the hell you want
about steve francis uh you can think that uh when i was in my prime i was the most electric player
to ever do it or you could think that i wasn't shit it prime I was the most electric player to ever do it or you
could think that I wasn't shit it really doesn't matter to me but I was thinking about something
the other day about where I'm from and about how damn crazy it is that I ever played one minute in
the NBA and is and this is the only thing I want people to remember just that he made it he fucking
got there that's the truth and want to hear his career earnings oh my god career money
103 million 501 131 dollars what he made a hundred million fucking dollars unreal hundred million
dollars think about that that's a lot of money at 32 you can't you have a hundred what he just said
though if he would have just said those words to 32-year-old Steve
Francis, he'd have been like, you're right, motherfucker.
I ain't going to do shit.
I'm going to go take...
I probably still got 50 million in the bank.
I mean, wow.
He should.
He should have something.
That's a lot of fucking money.
100 million dollars.
He's got 100 million, so what's he going to do?
Relax and party, apparently, because on Octoberober 8th 2010 uh los angeles international
airport police the airport police the airport police pick him up for uh drunk public drunkenness
at the airport oh my god airport spokesman albert rodriguez said he was arrested at 11 30 p.m
he was intoxicated and unable to care for himself and combative toward the staff to
do that to boot so you got that also lax or burbank
lax oh my god the sheriff's department record show he posted ten thousand dollars bail and was
released at 3 30 in the morning come on asshole so that was stupid so after this he's just not
done with basketball he just feels it in his system and i get it you feel it i think and it's
one of those things where guys get that itch they want to do it again so he comes back to basketball to the ukraine to china yeah he plays for the beijing ducks
oh my god this but it's a huge drop from the rockets or the knicks or the even the magic and
that's pretty low i can't believe even there that is the mascot beijing ducks that is very
stereotypical yeah they've had a few they were like the show june or some shit before that i
don't know what that is but they they've been around since the 50s,
since this league came into existence.
The Ducks.
Switching their name a couple of times, but yeah, they're the Ducks.
Steve plays in four games, averaging 3.4 minutes a game, and that's it.
What's the point?
He averages 0.5 points a game.
Jesus.
Less than a point.
Why do you have...
I don't know.
I don't know if he went over there to...
Remember when Marbury was playing over there and doing really well and shit?
I don't know what he was thinking.
That's wild, though.
He just didn't like it, I don't think, it sounds like.
To go over there and play for a team that sounds like it's on the fucking payway menu.
Yeah, it does.
Yeah, it's a Panda Express combination plate.
Can I get two
sides of the Beijing duck? I'll have the three
item, but make two of them Beijing
duck and one beef and broccoli.
Obviously.
You know what? Never mind
the beef and broccoli. The orange chicken.
The mandarin chicken.
We'll go orange chicken and two Beijing ducks.
Perfect. Thank you.
Fried rice. Noodles are disgusting.
So those ones that they have.
So 2011 comes along here.
He's got a record label at this point.
All sorts of dumb shit.
He's bored.
God damn it.
If you're bored and you have that much money, it's like, what do I like?
I like music.
No.
Okay.
Well, maybe I'll make music i guess like
fuck well it gets worse because he has his own song in a video and it's he did it too oh my but
first of all 2000 don't worry it's coming okay to the oh he's a full he runs the full gamut of
asshole here it's a gamut of asshole uh 2011 here uh he jesus christ a woman a 20 year old woman who is apparently
signed to his record label uh claims goes to the police claiming that he groped her through her
clothing in may of 2010 she immediately went to the police after it happened and filed a complaint
just coming out in 2011 she says that uh yeah she was signed by the record label
she said she had met steve in an office to discuss her contract and we're shauna simeon is her name
and she says that uh the groping occurred while they were talking outside francis reached down
and grabbed her between the legs yeah Yeah. That's what he did.
Well, that's what he did.
He's like.
I guarantee somebody at TMZ was like, Joe Francis is at it again.
He's at it again.
Oh, who?
Steve?
Shit.
All right.
So she claims that she screamed for him to stop.
And that's when a few of her friends who she brought along just to feel comfortable.
She was going to some place to discuss a contract with some
strange guy. And, you know, you should come in groups
like that. You never know. She
didn't know if it was like some sort of amateur
porn thing or some shit. So
she brought her friends and I guess they rushed
over to break things up and they witnessed the whole
thing as well. And she
filed her police report.
Apparently, a year later,
no charges had been filed yet,
and the case was still open.
Really?
So she came with witnesses saying,
he grabbed my pussy without my permission,
and a bunch of people,
and then he wouldn't stop grabbing my pussy,
even though I said,
hey, I'd like it if you'd stop grabbing my pussy, please.
People had to rush over, break it up,
so let's not charge him, though.
He grabbed a whole little bucket, wouldn't let go. Wouldn't let go. Once again, let's not charge him though he grabbed a hold that
little buck wouldn't let go once again let's play try that in your fucking everyday life
don't try that because i don't want any women getting groped but you know think about how that
would play out in your life man or woman think about if you grab somebody's genitalia wouldn't
let go had to be broken up by other people and it was immediately reported to the police would you be arrested probably so uh yeah you know who could get away with that
is the girl that hosts uh yeah she'd get away with that wesley come here put that ball back
right in my hand darling come on bring me that trophy oh look at him he's fine
so uh uh the woman says she's frustrated that the case has not progressed and is considering
a lawsuit against the da's office for the delay and all that nothing ever comes of that by the
way uh 2012 stevie makes a music video oh boy it is fucking terrible 2012 not 1998 2012 he makes a Fucking terrible. 2012. 12. Not 1998. Not 1998.
2012, he makes a music video.
Not 1992 when Shaq was doing it.
No, that's kind of funny.
He was a kid and it was funny.
No, he's a retired...
This is 20 years later.
Dude, and the video, he sounds like he's trying to sound vaguely like Ja Rule kind of a little bit.
He's got a growl.
He's got kind of a growly thing to him, which you're like, come on now.
Come on, little Stevie Francis.
Oh, boy.
Also, the whole video is just about he's very rich.
It's just him and some chick, and there's a lot of champagne, and they're in a private
garage thing with a private jet and fancy cars.
It's like the hypnotized video, but I don't know, 15 years too late, basically, is what it is.
It's all it is.
Somebody saw the Big Pimper video on a yacht and was like, I could do it, too.
I could do it, too.
And they're on a plane.
He's sitting there on a plane with a private, like, you know.
It's Kanye West's Instagram, except fucking in a video.
And it's with a terrible song.
So, it's Kanye West's Instagram.
So, it's a bad song, and it's just him trying to be
trying to be rich in this shit so uh now 2013 uh this is interesting he's in a club
and this is brought to you by worldstar.com by the way and really i swear to god the youtube
video has the worldstar.com brand on it so great that's what this is. This is a video of him being choked out
by NBA player Steven Jackson.
What?
You know, Steven Jackson,
he's much bigger than Steve Francis.
That's a tough man, too.
He's a big, tough man.
It's a scary man.
You don't fuck with Steven Jackson.
No, you don't.
Apparently, there's some shit going on.
They're on stage.
This is the thing.
All these basketball players and people
that go to clubs and concerts,
they have to get on stage, too.
Right.
So they were on stage
and something was going on with Steve and Jackson.
And there ended up being a bit of a melee on the floor, on the dance floor in the middle there.
And so at some point in this, you just see Steve and Jackson reach out and basically pick Steve Francis up by the fucking throat.
Just grabs him by the throat, and he's like fucking holding him out there.
And Francis can do nothing about it.
Did somebody scream Worldstar?
No, it was on Worldstar.
But no, I'm sure they did,
but you can't hear it.
Somewhere, but there's too many screens.
There's awful music going on in the background too
and he's getting choked.
I'm like, this is a nightmare.
People who've made a,
that sounds terrible.
People who've made a hundred million dollars
should never be choked out
while someone films it in terrible music plays.
In public.
In public. Should never happen. Ever, ever, ever, never. So yeah, should never be choked out while someone films it in terrible music plays in public in public
should never happen ever ever ever never so uh yeah and uh the end of the video is he's getting
uh the the cops are talking to him during this whole thing after the melee they show that and
then the you see the cops cuff francis and take him out of the video range so i don't hear that
he got arrested there i can't find an arrest for it but they cuffed him and dragged his ass out of the video range so i don't hear that he got arrested there i can't find an arrest for
but they cuffed him and dragged his ass out of the club anyway for getting choked so it's pretty sad
honestly that insult to injury yeah cuff you too even though this giant man fucking choked you a
scary individual i'm pretty sure that man's uh got some shit happening behind behind the scenes
oh definitely that guy is scary he is
he looks tough so at this point i found this interview that they did with a bunch of guys uh
lavar errington uh deuce mcallister uh sharma mitchell the fighter and steve francis all these
different guys where they basically sit them down and they have like this i don't know talk about
like how to deal with shit in the league
and how does how is it to have money and what do people say to you and to get like four different
people's opinions on it right so one of the questions in this is quote when you first found
out about kobe what did did it change anything for any of you in terms of how you deal with women
and sex they ask him that you know when he did what he did. Yeah, so Steve Francis says, quote,
I just automatically thought she was lying,
that he probably had sex with her,
and then somebody was like, go tell the police.
And they said, well, how does that affect you?
Does it worry you?
And Francis said, it could happen to anyone.
LeVar Arrington says,
she's going to be on Ricky Lake in TV shows.
Then McAllister says, she's already paid.
And then some Francis says, says quote it's like monica
lewinsky because things went so well for her yeah jesus christ that poorly uh and then this gets
worse mitchell jumps in and says she's gonna get paid like the girl with mike tyson then errington
said mike ain't raped those girls man and then francis said mike's a loose cannon though and
then mitchell said uh but if you knew the type of person Mike was, how he talks to females,
he leaves nothing to the imagination.
You know what's going on if you go back to that hotel room off the top.
Oh, boy.
Don't have that conversation in public.
Why are they doing this?
And they taped this.
In 2013.
Oh, no.
This is not from 1992.
No.
This is 2013. So this should be called out of touch rich guys
right talk about out of touch rich guys who think that they're victims yeah that's rough man who are
just fucking willy-nilly it just looks bad and even if everything they say is true it doesn't
sound good coming out of their mouth so i'm not saying it is and whatever no matter what they say
it's not going to come out it doesn't come out right here so when you're that rich and out of
touch with reality yeah shut your fucking mouth and a lot of this when you read these interviews
this interview it's everything is like wow how out of touch with how just i am rich does it get
like you don't even care entitlement it's yeah so 2015 in march uh Jesus Christ. This is some more sad shit.
He's on stage.
Stevie is at a club at a concert of the Sauce Twins.
Who the fuck?
I have no idea.
Houston rappers.
Twins with a Z.
Sauce spelled regular.
So Sauce Twins concert.
He's on the stage when somebody runs up to him and tries to rip the chain off his neck he's got a
big fickle chain with a big diamond cross you can see it in his music video he's wearing it very
prominently yeah i think so so he the chain though doesn't break right away he's got it
reinforced or something well it's fat ass fucking locks so he's just getting dragged by a chain around his neck up onto the stage.
And then people start fucking.
He gets also stomped and kicked on while he's doing this, too, while they're trying to get the chain off of him.
Oh, my God.
Stomped and kicked and shit while he's getting.
They try to take it from the back.
So he's getting like he's.
Oh, my God.
He's hung, basically.
And then the people fucking Shane finally off, and they ran away.
And nobody called the cops.
And that's that.
What?
But you think that's that?
Nobody called the cops.
But don't feel bad for Steve Francis, because it'll be fine.
According to Sauce Diddy, Sauce Diddy, who is the Sauce Twins manager.
I mean, if Sauce Diddy's telling you things are going to be fine,
I feel like they're going to be fine.
I trust the Sauce Twins,
and then everybody around them is the Sauce something.
This one's the Sauce, this one's the Sauce, that one.
So Sauce Diddy said that the group intends to help Steve get his chain back,
because he's from there.
He said, quote,
Steve is good people.
He's going to get his chain back.
I'm going to make his chain back i'm going
to make sure of it one way or another must have been drunk when he was robbed is what he said
uh because at one point he was on the stage and was asked to get off the fucking stage because
he was drunk and causing a fucking ruckus so then he got his chain took yeah and uh but like we said
sauce diddy is on the recovery project so i feel like everything's going to be fine as long as Sauce Diddy's there.
He's confused, let's just say.
A few years ago, he's a big guy.
He's a big shot.
Now he can't even wear a chain to a concert before getting it ripped off.
He's making bad videos.
He's getting called on grabbing people by the pussy.
Five years before that, he could have just grabbed the pussy and they'd be like, thank you.
Yay.
In his mind.
You're never going to believe who grabbed the pussy.
He was like, girls used to be excited when i groped them against their will they used to be jacked
about that shit but now man what do you do he's like i tried everything i'm just going home uh-huh
i'm he's self-quarantining he's moving to maryland no no no to his house he's just gonna self
quarantine damn it in here yeah can't take it anymore. He's like, this is ridiculous.
And it's silly, though.
But he never realized.
He's always on the road.
He's doing things.
He's grabbing pussies.
He's at clubs.
He didn't realize that his house is just kind of fucked up.
It's a little bit fucked up.
And he has some problems, especially with the plumbing.
And he needs some help.
And he calls some help.
And at his door to help him, it's Paul Calhoun, shit pipe enthusiast. And he says.
Hey, how is it you come to arrive here, guy?
All right.
I got to tell you.
Now, you know me.
I go around a lot of houses.
I see shit pipes.
I see big shit pipes, small shit pipes. I see clogged ones.
I see flowing shit pipes.
There was a time back there a few years ago, you had the biggest, your shit pipes were
like a seven, eight lane freeway, just flowing.
Two in the morning, no rush out.
Nothing clogging them up.
Nothing clogging them.
I'm talking from, you could see from one end to the other.
You could take a shit and you could see the ocean where it's going to end up.
That's how clear your shit pipes were, pal.
They were fucking amazing.
Now I look at this like a champagne bottle jammed in there.
There's a tree root running side to side.
There's a tree root.
I see some women's underwear that you stole off of there.
I see there's like a chain lock.
I think I found your chain.
I found where the sauce guy put your chain.
The sauce did.
He told me.
I don't know what the fuck's going on here, but there's a chain in there there's all sorts of fucking shit's happening your shit pipes are
clogged pals when your life shit pipes are clogged up and you need to clear them out that's all i'm
saying poof and in a poof of pvc and shit he's gone yeah and steve is very confused and you know
what he says i didn't realize my shit pipes were that clogged yeah when someone tells you you know what? He says, I didn't realize my shit pipes were that clogged. When someone tells you, they come to your door and they say, listen, pal, your shit pipes are clogged.
Your life pipes are overflowing with shit.
You got to listen to them.
And he takes everything into heart.
And then on November 22nd, 2016, he is pulled over in the middle of the night in Houston going 88 and a 65.
The police officer said he smelled like alcohol.
So they said, how about a sobriety test?
And he said, no, I don't think so.
I don't want to.
I know how these work.
I don't think so.
I think I'll walk a straight line for you, and I've got a broken ankle.
I have some allergies, and my ankle hurt.
I've got a lot of turkeys.
I've eaten so much tonight.
You have no idea.
I'm going to throw up just from the food, not even the booze.
It's just going to be turkey.
So he refuses the sobriety test.
He's also verbally abusive as well.
They search his car.
They find an open bottle of Crown Royal in there.
Oh, no.
You can't drink that while you're driving.
He's drinking and driving.
Well, he's just carrying it around with him.
Who knows if he had any of that or something else.
But it's an open bottle of Crown Royal in your car, which I don't have in my car.
Post-2012.
Post-2012.
A big bag of weed, almost 22 grams, which I might have in my car, but not 22 grams.
Take that with me.
That seems like too much.
So, yeah, he's placed there.
And this is Texas.
They're not that fun with weed.
Yeah.
They're just not that fun. So, yeah, he's placed there. This is Texas. They're not that fun with weed. Yeah. They're just not that fun.
So, yeah, not okay.
And he, at that point, gets mad at the cops.
Yeah.
Gets a little mad at the cops.
He's being placed in a squad car while they search his vehicle.
And he said he noticed officers looking at his big gold chain.
He apparently got a new one.
And at that point.
A little PTSD.
Yeah.
They start looking at his chain like
looking at it and uh at that point he shouts now you're playing with fire homie hey stop eyeballing
my chain i will grab the nearest pussy don't even tempt me so uh yeah he's touchy about his chain
as you might imagine uh sauce diddy came out of nowhere, though, and said, listen, Steve, it's all right.
We'll take care of it.
So then he said, quote, take a picture.
Play with that.
Watch what happens.
I don't know what that means.
Then he called the cops suckers and shouted, go ahead and lock me up.
Quote, groupie ass motherfuckers.
Play with my chain, sucker.
Sucker.
Apparently the guy like picked his chain up.
Yeah, I did that.
It's real
then he told the cops call my bluff call my shit then he told the cops loudly that the chain was
worth 100 million dollars okay that's not true i think he's trying to say this is a chain you get
when you're worth 100 million dollars probably but he's drunk and he just goes, the chain's $100 million. Don't touch it.
I'm not drunk.
Fucking allergies.
The chain's on me.
I'm worth $100 million, so it's worth $100 million.
Fuck this pollen.
I'm allergic to alcohol.
Yeah, that goes.
So they told him he's being arrested for drunk driving weed possession
and uh retaliation because he's yelling and screaming at them so uh he said he's not drunk
and he's not threatening anyone and he just said just take me to my grandmother's house and drop
me off and they went no you know where we'll take you the police station he said drop drop me off
my grandma's she lives in maryland saying an uber motherfucker like
it's not dropping yes drop me yeah what the fuck is going on here so no um this is so good now he
says there's some other interesting shit because he's he's got a warrant from another state as well
that we'll talk about here but uh uh now his attorney said because they charged him with
retaliation he said quote
people sometimes when they're under arrest they will say some things they probably shouldn't say
yeah i don't know if he said anything here or whatever but i know he uh there was never any
struggle he never hit a police officer there was nothing physically involved whether they had some
words at the scene apparently that's what the charge is but But I don't know. He says. So the judge gives a bond and gives him 30 days to turn himself in to authorities in Florida because he's wanted there as well on a robbery warrant or a burglary warrant.
I apologize here.
Not robbery.
Yes.
I can see how burglary can be misconstrued.
Robbery.
Not so much.
Yes.
So it's an odd thing from Florida here.
Apparently, there's a warrant out for him for burglarizing a BMW outside of a clam restaurant in Florida.
Okay.
It was the Cortez Clam Factory.
Gross.
I'm not eating anywhere where they put the words clam and factory together.
You can't factory make a clam.
That just sounds disgusting.
Sounds like they're trying, though and it stinks it sounds like they're left in a warm trough all
yeah yeah we're trying this is our best shot you want to try them so uh they apparently that in
florida they heard that he got you know dui in houston so they were trying to extradite him for
a burglary down there and the police report says it's from june 15th this happened
of that year 2016 apparently uh there's a 2003 bmw parked outside there he went in francis did
and asked the bartender if he could give him a flashlight he asked the bartender for a flashlight
then he went up to the car and started stealing shit he just stole a bunch of shit out of the car
he stole there's a car outside and i can't see in it can you give me a flashlight i'll just take and started stealing shit. He just stole a bunch of shit out of the car. He stole...
There's a car outside and I can't see in it.
Can you give me a flashlight?
I'll just take everything.
He stole a makeup pouch.
The fuck you stealing a makeup...
You have $100 million and you don't wear makeup.
It was Jeffree Star.
Fuck you too.
Wallet, gold wedding ring, gold diamond band,
earrings, press credentials, and $100 in cash.
Why does Erin Andrews have her car set in the party lot?
I have no idea why she's out there.
Her press credentials?
Her press credentials, $100.
Total amount, $7,252 in cash and goods.
Who leaves that much shit in their car?
Well, that's the gold wedding ring and a diamond bag.
I don't know who would leave your $3,000 engagement ring in your car.
What are you doing?
That's stupid. I have no idea why you would do that but
apparently i don't know if she was on the air or something who the fuck knows and how to take her
shit off listen you don't want to get that clam juice on that's what happens in there it'll be
elite or eat it right up so she described the burglary here she said that she left her car
door unlocked while she was eating at a restaurant and uh steve had asked the bartender for help in
finding his keys that's why he asked for a flashlight to find his keys and she said the bartender went out and got a flat
went and got a flashlight went outside and held the flashlight while steve moved my seats back
and forth stripped the inside of my car of everything and broke into my lockbox she had
him in a lockbox in her car apparently broke into it he got my diamond ring and he got my father's
wedding band he got my wallet my cash he stole my father's wedding band he got my wallet my cash
he stole my makeup bag uh which is super fucking weird yeah uh very so the bartender essentially
helped him because he said he was looking for his keys in the car right then i think that shit's
weird it gets weirder two days after this shit happened steve walked into the bradenton police
department with a clear plastic bag with a bunch
of her shit in it yeah this shit that he stole hauled the fucking bag up plunked him on the
counter and said quote i just robbed somebody take me to jail i'm turning myself in why did
he do this they didn't even he wasn't even wanted yeah so this so they didn't arrest him because
they had nothing in their system that he was wanted so they're like like, well, we don't know what you're talking about.
You have a bag full of shit, but there has to be a crime to arrest you for, and we're not sure what that is yet.
So I guess have a good one.
Thanks for the heads up.
We'll use this in court later.
We'll holler at you when we get the paperwork ready.
You know?
So he did that, and police, he left without charging.
So now they're going to charge him with felony burglary and they want him extradited
to Florida. Not great.
I mean, how stupid are you? Why?
I mean, what the fuck? First of all,
how embarrassing is this if you're him?
You've made a hundred million dollars, you're
ransacking people's shit outside of a
lousy clam restaurant? No!
Just a random woman. Just some lady.
He decided he was going to ransack the fucking
car. I don't know what the fuck.
I don't know if he heard her, overheard her saying something or what the deal is.
But I mean, Jesus Christ, how far can you fucking fall?
I feel bad for her, too.
She's getting her shit robbed by Steve Francis.
You don't expect an NBA all-star to ransack your car and steal your dad's wedding band.
It's just weird.
I feel bad for all these people, Jimmy.
All of them.
But not nearly as bad as I feel for Steve Francis, director of supply chain operations and procurement in Phoenix, Arizona.
Oh, I have Steve Francis, chief revenue officer at Instacluster in Seattle.
I don't know what the fuck that is, but he's doing a good job.
Steve Francis, lab systems administrator and quality control operations in San Diego.
Steve Francis, pastor at Mountaintop Christian Fellowship in Phoenix, Arizona.
And finally, Steve Francis, partnership marketing account coordinator at NASCAR in Daytona Beach, Florida.
NASCAR.
So this guy essentially lives in Florida, and he's reading in the paper that Steve Francis is robbing cars.
He's like, no, I'm not.
And grabbing pussies.
No, I'm just fucking touting a stupid sport.
I'm not trying to make Hillbillies have some nice sun.
Come on, man.
Now, early 2017, he has court.
By the way, he's been married this whole uh for the last 11 years to a woman named uh
named shelby here and she uh she's divorcing him now in 2017 in the divorce petition she alleged
that steve has quote severe substance issues and said and put a request in for the court to order
him to undergo random drug and alcohol testing and said that Steve has been in rehab,
quote, prior to and during the divorce.
Steve's been to rehab a few times, by the way.
Really?
Yeah, we'll talk about that. So she had filed for divorce a year and a half ago.
He he will get some custody of the kids like weekends, normal dad shit subject to the substance
abuse things here.
The court also said that he's permanently, permanently prohibited from using drugs or alcohol within 12 hours before his time with his children.
Not allowed to do that.
And any violation in the court may revoke his custody rights.
He's been ordered to not drink or use anything before he gets his next visit, obviously.
And the judge said the judge also hit him with a permanent injunction
from abusing anything around his kids he's also ordered to pay in child support what do you think
oh boy uh 20 million two thousand one hundred thirty seven dollars a month in child support
that's very reasonable that's excessively reasonable they must be going after his current
salary and not his that's. That's incredibly affordable.
Because that's, yeah,
that's really less than a guy with $100 million
should be paying for his kids.
Wow.
So, not bad, though.
They settled all of their issues
related to assets and property.
I think she probably got a lot of that, too.
Yeah, he took care of her.
This is just a little kid thing.
He had to.
So, they had a nasty back and forth
where she was calling him
a fucking drug addict and she was he was calling her a whore and it how much money does he have
left james that's the thing we don't know god uh march 2017 he's in court for robbery or burglary
we should say uh he is accepted into a pre-trial intervention program which means he'll avoid
prosecution if he completes certain conditions uh he has to be under supervision for a year.
During that time, he has to undergo drug and alcohol evaluations
and can complete any recommended treatment.
Also has to do 50 hours of community service,
pay $7,300 fine, and apologize to the victim and stay away from her.
I'm sorry I took your shit.
My bad.
I'm going to stay very far away from you yep like
several states several states away and the prosecutor said if he does all of this by the
next year they'll drop the charge okay so there's that now april 12th 2017 a month later he pleads
guilty to misdemeanor driving while intoxicated from the texas arrest where he abused the officers he is sentenced uh to time served you sir may
serve time time served one thousand dollar fine and uh the the court records show that the felony
retaliation charge for threatening an officer was dismissed if he pled guilty yeah not bad yeah uh
the judge during sentencing said that they took into account that francis voluntarily
entered an alcohol rehab program after his arrest and continues treatment so go rockets go rockets
2017 he's up to be drafted in the big three league oh he's doing that ice cubes three on
three league or there that's the initial draft it's got a bunch of old ball players on there so dumb it's not great no um he doesn't get drafted he goes he's only 40 the man's made
a hundred million dollars well he's only 40 40 years old there's guys uh makmoud raul abdul
raouf got drafted he's like 46 he had to be older than that he would start he was playing since he
was in the league in 1990 yeah he was probably 50 probably i mean he had to be 50 than that. He was in the league in 1990. He was probably 50.
Probably.
I mean, he had to be 50 years old.
He's in the league.
He got drafted.
Other guys got drafted who I'm like, wow, that dude's old as fuck.
Francis is 40, and he wanted no part of his ass.
Nothing.
Nothing.
I think Rafer Alston ended up on there, though.
Yeah, I think that's right.
I think he did, though.
So he goes undrafted and doesn't play there.
Now, December 4, 2017, he's in a bit of a car
accident oh no apparently he hit the back of a car and uh appeared to flag the guy down like say
oh come over here and so he looked like the guy who francis hit said that francis looked like he
was trying to get him to follow him off the freeway like come over here we'll pull off the
freeway however when they pulled off the freeway francis never stopped yeah so the guy followed him sucker mc
suck mc so the guy followed him all the way to his home in west houston yeah at the 600 block of
pifer road okay so that's where he follows steve to follows francis there where he starts taking
pictures of francis's car now we
know from the police situation he doesn't like anyone taking stock of his shit no don't look at
my chain they'll take pictures of my car very upset so apparently when he started taking of
the pictures of the car and asking for steve's insurance information steve became agitated and
slapped the guy's phone that he was taking pictures with out of his hand and then stomped on it so he slapped the phone started stomping on the phone like that helps
any like that makes your house not right here yeah like that makes him not know where you live
and have a big debt in the back of his car that matches perfectly with the big debt in the front
of your car not to mention also the second he hit stop on those photos or videos they didn't all go
into a cloud immediately right Go right to the cloud.
Doesn't matter.
That's pointless.
So the police officer showed up, and by that time, Steve was in his house up on his balcony
addressing them like fucking Mussolini.
And he refused to come down from his balcony to discuss the incident.
He literally said, I'm not coming down.
I will do no such thing.
If you got a warrant, you can come up and get me.
But otherwise, I ain't coming down.
So he's eventually just charged with failure to stop and give information.
And that's it.
The phone ended up only being worth $140.
What kind of phone is this guy?
This is 2017.
What kind of phone you got in your hand here?
It's worth $107. I don't know, some know some boost mobile shit or something i got a cricket phone like a
burner phone you get from like 7-eleven maybe i don't know 140 bucks so francis ended up just
being charged with misdemeanor mischief instead of you know personal property destruction or any
of that shit so interesting now march 8th 2018 that's when that players tribune.com article comes out
okay that's his things have been tough but i'm what good now yeah i'm good now silver-haired
middle-aged white men i'm gonna prop me up to the top again i'm sure something some shit like that
he's good he says uh at that point he talks about it he says uh they ask him about you know he's
talking about his dark days and his um you know his problems because ever since he got out of the league have
you heard one good thing that's happened since i said he retired other than he got 20 million
dollars one year it's been all bad news terrible music videos rock getting robbed getting arrested
he's just pissing money away pissing money away he says quote i had some dark days no question
and i know people were asking what the hell happened to Steve Francis.
But the hardest part was reading some bullshit on the Internet saying that I was on crack.
When I thought about my grandmother reading that or my kids reading that, that broke my heart.
Listen, I sold crack when I was growing up.
I'll own up to that.
But I never in my life did I ever do crack.
So what happened to Steve after his my glory days? He said, quote, i ever do crack so what happened to steve after his his my glory days
he said quote i was drinking heavily is what happened uh and that can be just as bad in the
span of a few years i lost basketball i lost my whole identity i lost my stepfather who committed
suicide by the way oh no in this time period as well so he said it was just yeah a fucked up ass
just a fucked up ass time it's just not going
well for him and i could get that you lose your whole identity everyone's like oh you're oh he's
old he's like 34 i'm so mad that he committed suicide yeah stepfather that sucks man i'm
heartbroken and i mean he had it hard too i mean it's it's hard man people have problems steve
should have taken care of him forever it should have been such an easy life oh we don't know what his problems i know but i'm just saying he had lost his wife just on the
an outsider looking in it should be so easy for the two of them but he committed suicide around
2010 so i mean there should have just been a lot of fishing going on yeah yeah i agree i agree it's
really tough so i mean i could see being in a bad place i mean this is the athlete that loses
everything and kind of just slides down because they're just what else are they supposed to do they don't have a plan for
post like post athlete they don't have it they don't have it's hard to come up with that plan
most guys don't have that plan some guys have five businesses they're already set up what they're
going to do and a lot of guys going out the fuck do i do shit i was expecting this to last a lot
longer i don't know man a three million dollar3 million boat sounds nice. Sounds great. He could buy a yacht and just sit on it.
I wouldn't even buy a yacht.
It's fucking awesome.
Just a boat.
A big boat.
Amazing.
You know what I mean?
Go shit.
Go sit off an island somewhere.
Florida has some really nice ones.
Nobody wants to go to Florida.
Yeah, but they're nice boats.
You can go away from Florida on the boats.
That's a good thing.
You get on it and you fucking go.
So March 18th, 2018, Burbank police.
So he's been good. Now, the 10 days earlier, big article came out, hisbank police so he's been good now the 10 days earlier big
article came out his whole life story he's good now everything's fine march 18th 2018 uh police
get a report about a rowdy guest at a hotel bar in burbank we take any guesses on who that guest
might be is it the dream it's a little stevie francis it's not kareem it's not akeem reading his quran
i was mixing akeem and quran together it's not him fucking reading the quran uh they said that
quote he was under the influence to an extent that he posed a risk to his own safety and to
the safety of others and he was taken to jail for a citation and released around 7 a.m. in the morning with public intoxication.
So sad.
February 2019, he has to pay restitution for the 2017 car accident he got into with that guy there.
He got his criminal charge related to the car crash dismissed after he paid the restitution.
The records don't show the amount.
It was part of the deal.
They don't show the amount, which I really wanted to know how much he paid probably less than his
monthly child support yeah and then january 2020 right here uh he traded a house he's this you're
wondering how he's trading things well he's just moving oh okay well you're wondering how he's
doing let's find out here trading his lavish memorial mansion for a new 5300 square foot
property in sugarland texas not doing bad move to sugarland yeah while details of a suburban buyer
scant we've got a peak it is 10 780 square foot central houston home that hit the market at just
under five million a week ago so he's selling his five million dollar house to move to another huge
house in a nicer area. Is Sugar Land expensive?
Yeah.
No, I think it's just more.
I think it's cheap.
I think this is central.
So it's probably more spread out.
That's what it is.
So he's doing fine, apparently.
He's still got $5 million houses in his name.
Right.
So not too shabby.
Still got some cash.
But that was January 2020.
So if it hasn't sold by now, he could be in fucking trouble.
James, we could buy it.
You got some now and later? 40 bucks buy it. You got some now and later?
40 bucks.
Yeah.
You got some now and later in a topless car?
Patreon.com slash crime and sports.
Let's buy Steve Francis' house after all this settles down.
For a now and later in a topless home booth.
We're going to start a fucking GoFundMe to buy his house just for our own amusement.
All of us.
That's all it's worth.
Anybody in the crime and sports movement, you can stop by.
Yeah.
Check it out.
Come by anytime.
There's a crotch-grabbing booth
where we have a mannequin set up.
You're living the life of Steve Francis. You go from
getting drunk, you yell at cops in another
booth, then you grab a mannequin by the
pussy, then you go in the next booth and do
this, and then you go to the next booth and it's
a court where they tell you, you're fine. Don't
worry about it. Case dismissed. Next.
It's awesome. The only problem with this is... Next booth is a bank where they keep you you're fine don't worry about it case dismissed next it's awesome the only
problem next booth is a bank where they keep kissing your ass because you have a hundred
million dollars in there the only problem is there's a shitload of texas around it lots of
texas just in the middle of a field somewhere it's like blazing saddles they got this we're
gonna need to go back and get her somebody's to have to go get a shitload of dimes.
So there's that.
Oh, Steven.
That's what Steve's doing.
God damn it.
Can't get enough of Steve Francis?
I'm sure he'll fuck up more.
Don't worry.
He seems in the peak of his fuckery.
Yeah.
He's still young enough, James. Oh, he's fucking 42 years old right now.
He's got tons of time to fuck up time and money i mean think about that
now the last he retired in 2009 and then what happened from 2009 to now that was a lot of
glut of shit yeah in all that time vince carter's still in the nba yeah literally up to money last
week yeah this is it's crazy last week he was paying restitution last year and vince carter was
you know trying to fucking yeah he was trying to get to the playoffs it's a little bit different if you can't get
enough steve francis tons of there's jerseys of every team he played for all over ebay a lot of
stuff uh rockets ones but they're there autographs bobbleheads there's too much to even go into he
played in the time where they made five million products of everybody who was a star so you can find figures and things they're all over the place that my friends is steve francis yes
that is episode 201 of crime and sports if you like that episode or any of our episodes you know
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And thank you guys, honestly, for everything you do for us,
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we would like to do more stuff with crime and sports this show is our favorite thing in the
world now we love small town murder it's fun but we both like sports and we both like fucking up
and we we both like people who fuck up.
This is our wheelhouse.
If we could do this for the rest of our lives and make money off it, this would be the greatest thing in the world.
Oh, this show is great.
We just love this goddamn show.
So we want to do a lot of fucking things about it.
But it's hard to break into other formats.
Full disclosure, we were talking about a TV show where we were kicking around with our agents.
We had someone interested in it and everything like that.
But in the end, they wanted basically a show that they had basically where we're not the hosts.
They like the idea, but they like to present.
They like the name, the IP and the fucking ready made audience that comes with it.
And that's what TV shows want to do. So when you talk to podcasts and a lot of people say i'd love to see this tv show i'd love to see that tv
show you might in the future but it's going to be less and less now because so many podcasters have
been fucked over by this system and made a shit tv show that they probably didn't have a whole lot
of control over you have to put any input exactly because tv is on based on a model where you know
you go to them they have
the carrot that you dangle because they have this distribution network and they have a way to get
your idea that no one knows about but you and the people you've told how to get that to everybody
else and then they can sell it to everybody for you essentially that's the deal so you sell your
soul you sell your idea for no money and you hope that people see you and see the show and are proud of whatever the fuck you're doing.
It's not like that anymore.
The audience comes with the show now, so they don't have any fucking power anymore.
So if you want to see a popular podcast and you want a TV show out of it, understand what
goes on behind the scenes.
If they're not making a show, it's probably because they have some pride in what they do.
That's what it is.
Because everybody with a decent audience
has been talked to about TV shows.
It's just how fucking hard
are they willing to take it in the ass?
How much are you willing to give away?
We're willing to take zero in the ass.
Zero in the ass.
Zero.
Not even the tip.
Not even the tip.
And it's not even about money.
I know what it feels like.
We signed up to do this shit basically for nothing.
Unless it was a runaway hit, we would have made not a fucking dime.
But it doesn't matter because we wanted it to be a correct show.
The way we want it.
The only thing is, we'll never do a show.
If you ever see us with a TV show, know that we have all control over it.
All of the ideas.
And it's our show because you're not going to see us on there.
Everything you hate about it is ours with some bullshit investigative investigation discovery reenactment
bullshit we're not doing that shit we're not going to bilk our listeners so the reason why we don't
have to do that is because of you guys right that's because of you guys we would have chased
that carrot and went after the two dimes and a nickel that might have been down the road but we
don't fucking have to because we have such an amazing amazing fucking audience i don't need two dimes and a nickel because my
audience gave me a quarter that's what i'm saying right there quarter if we said we need a quarter
they'd be like here's 50 cents right they're fucking incredible and thank you guys for always
always oh that's why the show doesn't change that's why the show won't change for as long as
we're fucking doing as long as we're alive and doing these shows because you guys tell us with your dollars that you like it just the fucking
way it is right so we're not going to let anybody do shit to it and uh speaking of that please i
need to be hit with the group of people that have done that for us this week and made it so we don't
have to do shit we don't like to do and give it to them jimmy hit me hard with it like you're
snatching a chain
of a chain of people off my neck this week's executive producers are john buck tanya volanek
jordan bennett alex i etched uh ryan sergeant donated both ways thank you ryan uh amy spicer
emmanuel lemus simon watts andrea stanson uh raptor one to raptor 2, happy birthday. That's what she wanted to be said.
Shannon Russell, Melissa Turner, Stan Bromley,
Madison Hughes, Fartbox.
Not Madison Hughes' Fartbox, but Madison Hughes and Fartbox.
Those are two different people. Both of them?
Now, it's one thing if you get Madison Hughes,
but when you get Fartbox and together, then you got something.
David Baker, Jessica Smith, Wendy McGast's
granddaughter turned two, and Jason
Christensen, who is
oh so important to Jessica and
their kiddo Joey. She's the one that was in the
hospital, and then they have a son also.
The four of them all listen to this.
Thank you so much for everything you guys
do for us. Other producers
this week are Thomas Smith,
Matt Gary, Randy
Zamore, Beth Castro, Michelle
Pierce, Mike Jewell, Casey Campbell,
Jenny Phillips, Patrick O'Kane,
Hannah Kirk, Kendall Passmore,
Kirsten Jewell, Philip Jensen,
Amanda with no last name, Amy Schultz,
Ryan Ming, Stephen Henry,
George Danfield, no, that is Banfield,
Gregory
Desroker.
Annette Konecki.
No.
Brett Schaefer.
Braden Depart.
Deputies.
No.
DeVries.
Deverys.
Braden Devery.
Okay.
Sally Beetz.
Rebecca Sanchez.
Ashley Haik.
James Bonavita.
Dee DeVillier.
DeVillier.
Ryan with no last name. Ashley Vo, Robin Anderson, Sarah Surridge,
Selna Hutala, Carl Bittner, Peyton Meadows, Jackie Sukup, Andrew Mattili, Marissa Cole,
Hannah Hart, James Marder, Stephen Rood, Jude Kendall, Gary Howard, Kevin Dobler,
Tegan Boyko, Brooke Kale.
She donated both ways.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Listen, Brooke, you can't go assuming shit.
There's one in the NBA.
That's true.
Kingfisher Design, Liz Vasquez, Dominique Figuerea, Steve Schnell,
and with no last name, Rob Padola, an all-around fan, Jory Reed,
Janice Hill, Judy Jennings, Matthew Wint, Holly Glavinich, I think, Glavich, Scott Barr, Hannah Simmons, Keegan with no last name, Thriller Jackson, Jesse Pitts, who, by the way, thank you so much, Jesse, for everything.
Thanks for sticking through.
Yeah, I would say so.
Nashville is a motherfucker right now. Even with all this stuff happening and it it's way worse there brandon munch back uh munch botch uh emily hyatt jeremy depredo uh
amanda knight joe john hogan laurie bobskill uh aaron edrington nicole with no last name
josie blake amanda packard wilkie ashley o'Connor, Amanda Murray, Jesus, Tyler Gwill, Nicole Watson, Tracy Renninger, Trey Volkanar, and moving on.
You guys are so amazing.
You guys are so awesome to us.
Thank you.
Bobby Freedom, Katie Wood, Aaron Wamek, Darcy Meyer, Danielle Ibarra, Madison Rae Hall, diane saladino rachel ann with no last name uh theresa
with no last name snow would know last name al you're the best al alex taylor alex taylor don
brostek randy baroneau no yep sure jonathan gross to garum gorastetta jennifer swan riannon garrett paul buchanan jane uh gene seguin seguin uh steven
heather lynn thorsten uh thurston thurston oh don't know brandon wood andrew johnson like the
president uh chris that i learned is the president christy foster felipa no, Bettany, Philippi, Philippa, Bettany, hmm.
Alex, Alexis,
believe it or not, I read these and then wrote them down.
Yeah, I was going to say, you had two different ways.
Two different ways.
Alexis Westerhaus, Rebecca
Shekoski,
Shekoski, Shekoski,
Sheakisk.
Damian Blomley, Wicked
Counselor, Lindsay Glenn, Dwayne Lerman, Nicole Ald, isk one of those damien blomley wicked counselor lindsey glenn duane uh lerman nicole ald food
no foo fod foo foo fam that's a person uh jeremy jeremy meadows uh edgar cordera gracie butterfield
molly chapman shelly reynolds lana would no last name jennifer boone no that's bond bone
it's two ends don't Don't look at me.
Danielle Delphilippe.
There's no reason I should have said that like that.
Precious Benjamin.
Agate Malary.
Agate.
Alexandra Reed.
Jonathan Huff.
Chris Malinger.
Chris Hickey.
Chris Wunderlay.
Fuck. Nick Rice, Michelle Mixel, Sean Jennings, Dan Limonde, Graciela Martinez, Maddie Paraguay, probably not Prangley, Haley Mager, Gary Smith, Randy Otis, Anna Evans, Joy Schwant, I think I said that, Caitlin Mitchell, Richard Mondragon, D.L.
No, that's Dr. Smith-Aroa.
Dr. Smith-Aroa, that's one name.
Raven Goad, Caitlin Mitchell, Jessica Jones, Christopher Miller,
Chopper and Emily, Michael Queso.
No? Queso? What did I write?
Sorry, Michael.
Cass. No, that's probably not right jennifer cole josh branco or bronco emily carter uh kimberly thompson jennifer caseland joyce adams uh eric raposo
angela sorensen yeah angel espinoza marissa burn kr Kristen with no last name, M. Dian, D. Flanny, Flansbury, no?
Yes, no.
Trent Tudor, Miranda Land.
Him, me, me, him, him, me.
Frista Kyle Lamke, Krista, not Frista.
Why would I say Frista?
Krista's more likely.
Robin Mossop, Benjamin Henderson, Emily Brewster.
Last, here we go.
Jackie Bay, Nikki, no, Kiki. I think that that's kiki k-i-k-k-i
yeah yeah kiki probably kiki emily peters samatha samantha not samantha
hey samatha how you doing samatha wow poor samatha Coleman Raspity. No, Bassidy. Cassidy? Oh, it's a C.
Oh.
Shannon Grimm, Megan Skinner, Zach Jerichy?
Jeschke?
Jeschke.
Ricky Spamanor?
Samor?
Spomanor.
No.
Those are not close to each other.
I don't know what I did.
Emily Sullivan, Stephanie, no, Stephen. Stephen Beeston. God damn it. close to each other i don't know what i did emily sullen stephanie no steven steven beaston
god damn it reverend doc john karpash john karpash he's a reverend doctor uh amanda
amanda boerschmidt bowerschmidt jennifer bigelow uh jim kirk evan henderson sarah katherine nela
nila crawford felicia star i think my think my voice goes higher when I don't know.
Heather Carson, Jennifer Rogers, Gershjvon Kempin.
No.
Robert Schwartz, Carrie Grocery.
No.
Gogarty?
Gogarty.
Gogarty.
That's gross.
Like Gogarty?
Why?
Yes.
Gogarty?
Please don't be Gogarty.
Carrie Rose. Please don't. Gogurty. Carrie Rose?
Please don't.
Mike Ingram?
Casey Cruz?
Joyce Rydzik?
Sarah Wedley?
Jordan with no last name?
Annalise with no last name?
Jessica with no last name?
Anna with no last name?
Josh Ortiz Fisher?
Susan Bellamy?
Kiva Hartfield?
Lauren?
What is this?
With no last name. She would like a shout out Lauren. What is this? No last name.
She would like a shout out, but she didn't give a last name.
She was wondering, how do I get my name in there?
As she donated.
Lauren.
And then didn't give us a last name.
Lauren.
Lauren.
We've said it.
Hey.
Hi, Lauren.
Michael Leffley, Jonathan Barber, Joanne Gilbert, Michael Duarte, Andy Smith, Jen O, Jenny O, like the meat, Stephanie Garrison, Troy Lindsey, Ashley Dridgenberg, Brett with no last name, Eileen Ocacella, Jamie London, Brett with no last name, James Markham, William Carsey, I said that, call calwood oh i don't know what that is aaron
bluey michael chumley robin with no last name shannon kenny jenner with no last name kevin
van dorn or dern dev danny cav or cave uh steven no devon devon devon or devon stewart listen i had
two friends and i in i've had devons and dev Yeah, there was a black kid and a white kid in the same class,
one named Devin, one named Devon, and I always fucked it up.
I could tell you which is which.
I always mixed it up.
I'd be like, Devin.
He's like, come on, man.
Come on, man.
I was going to say.
Abby Anderson, Spencer Klein, Carl Anderson, Brandy Foster, Kelly Schmidt,
Tara Pratt, Thomas Bryan, Rick Brunt, Brant, Amber Scarlet Horbeast Lane, Cameron Mitchell, Brenda with no last name, E.P.K. Sayaka.
Electronic basket.
Yeah.
Cool.
Probably.
No.
Sayaka Matasara Matsukawa.
That's it. Awesome. Just slow down, Wisman. No. Sayaka Matasara Matsukawa.
That's it. Awesome. Just slow down, Wisman.
Christina Cobb, I think. Josh Puckerbrush. Kimberly with no last name.
Barbara Miller. Jen Harrington. Kalt or K-A-L.
Kate. That's what that is. K-A-I-T. See how that works? Hey, Courtney Diziak. Blanca Singh.
Yeah. Morgan Rocky. Austin Van Vleck, Sarah Felix, Ryan Fields, Felix.
No, Felice Stewart, Joanna Dennis and home stretch.
My goodness.
Here we go.
You ready?
I'm going to do this really fast.
Sarah Wedley, Mark with no last name.
Kevin Cock, Eric with no last name.
Jesse Johnson, Abby Anderson, Morgan Morrison, Ben Richards, Kristen Dion, Joey Pivarnigodek, Michaela Smith, Erica Green, Nina Rosenfeld, Blackbird Tango, Ashlyn Dunalaga, Nikki Clark, Kathy Williams, Jackie Paulson, Sarah, no, that's Jason, Olseth, Daniela Ibarra, Lee Furlonger, Jeff Bowmanman mary no megan reba hope rodriguez beth we
grievenstein flores no natalie meyer laureen cowell no gent gene gene ramsey adrian jackson
jonathan claymonds julie miller stacy elms meredith miller beth dester helsey no kelsey
neil diane hasteldeans no, it's Dylan Hazeltine's birthday.
Happy birthday, Dylan, that I called Diane.
Ryan O'Connor, Chelsea Acamano, Chad Roberts, Penny Boyce, Christy Cottrell, Kim Blevins, and Drake, thank you both.
CGB, Donald O'Ryan, Christina Smith, Christy Hudson, no, Knudsen, Knudsen, Michael Bollinger,
Bethany Whitaker, Bethh dester i said that already
uh reed polk courtney slatted zagicki uh sean fury aaron with no last name ryan stafford
uh renee oh that's an r renee renee mcleod uh edward daniel smith daniel Yeah, there you go. Yeah, Matt Newberg, Philip DeFleur, Adrian Tobias, Susie Egan, Blair Dunham, Rurda Gould,
Rachel Schultz, Tora Skokla, Torska Varka, Corrine Krause, Patrick Sharp,e bednasak aaron clancy dana stairs and tinus yo
you guys and all of our goddamn patreon supporters you guys are amazing especially the ones that i
don't know what the name is and i have to add this on to the shout outs you've heard jimmy reed yeah
we've had a lot of people say like for a bonus episode you should do a thing where you guys
switch places that'd be really fun you don't want don't i get i get what you're saying i get that
that would be funny allure we have uh i one time jimmy was going to be did i said you read the
copy for this ad and it's a minute and a half ad and it took him seven minutes to get it right
and it was never all the way through it wasn't like he got it one take in seven minutes he finally got all the words out in seven minutes no no it's not gonna happen it'll take us a week
to record this thank you everybody from the bottom of our hearts honestly man we we could not be more
appreciative for everything that you do for us honestly we just went on that big long thing but
that doesn't even it doesn't even come close to it.
We have sat and literally just said,
God, thank fucking God for our audience.
And we, this is why we'll never betray you.
And we'll always be on your side
because you guys have our backs
and you're who we're loyal to.
So thank you for everything like that.
And Jimmy, what if they wanted to thank you?
How could they do that?
You can find me at Wisman Sucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks on Twitter and Instagram.
That's where I'm at now.
Where can they find you?
You can find me at JimmyPIsFunny or just copy and paste my name from the show description on there and do that.
Lots of bonus stuff coming up the next few weeks.
Get on that.
We're going to just give you guys as much content as we can possibly put out.
We know everybody's stuck and people are in weird times and it sucks and we're going to try to help and
make it a slightly a little bit fucking less stressful if we possibly can so late and we we
we share your burden and pain this shit ain't easy it is not easy so we've all made some sacrifices
here our whole live show schedule went down the drain that's kind of how we make our living so
it's kind of tough so uh getting emails talking about uh how does this date look 2021 yeah as a rescheduled date unacceptable
so that's what we're trying we're trying so hard on all this shit so thank you guys
for everything like that and everything you always do for us and did you say your
thing and i said my thing of where we're from whisper sucks i said it too that's where we're
at terrific i'm more distracted by the other shit.
Never mind.
Live from the Crime and Sports studios.
We will see you next week.
Bye.
Hey, Prime members.
You can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music.
Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts.
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The wait is over.
So far, you're not losing.
The only thing you're losing is my patience.
Quickly, I see that.
Ding!
The queen of the courtroom is back.
I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth
if it came up and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
Okay, so, um...
This is not a so. This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
The Emmy Award-winning series returns.
How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head.
It's an all-new season.
It's streaming. You can say anything.
Judy Justice. Only on Freebie.