Crime in Sports - #205 - Diving Into Death - The Ironicness of Bruce "The Comeback Kid" Kimball
Episode Date: April 21, 2020This week, we jump into the deep end of a murky pool. A man who was raised to be a champion, from the time he was in diapers. He was on a clear path to a gold medal when tragedy struck, and h...e was severely injured in a car accident. His remarkable comeback, all the way to the Olympics was nothing short of amazing, but he quickly threw it all away. In the end, people are killed, and so is a legend! Work your way back from horrific injuries, throw it all away with booze & pills, then live with the tragic results with Bruce "The Comeback Kid" Kimball!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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The Queen of the Courtroom is back.
How did I know that? i have crystal ball in my head
new cases leave her a long so uh this is not a so this is a period classic judy it's streaming
you can say anything it's an all-new season judy justice only on freebie
Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports!
Yay!
Yay indeed, Jimmy.
Yay indeed.
My name is James Petrigallo.
I'm here with my co-host.
I am Jimmy Westman.
Thank you folks so much for joining us.
We are very excited, of course, this week again.
Real interesting, weird, kind of an American golden boy gone wrong story.
I like those. I like watching someone who has no business fucking up fuck up that's
something about that really when you see it in their past it's you know it's like well yeah the
ghosts come back to haunt you but when it's just no reason that's what i like that's a that's a
fall from grace right there just selfish reasons that's what i'm saying so we'll get into that
very very quickly just want to say first of, thank you for your reviews this week.
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that good shit so that said yeah out of the way, let's get into this, Jimmy.
Great.
Let's dive into this.
Wonderful.
Let's do this.
Dive?
We're going to dive into this.
Very specifically, we're diving into this
because it's a diver in this episode.
Yes.
Fuck, I don't know.
I'm trying over here.
What do you want from me?
You're twisting and flipping and turning, James.
Do I look like I write for the Olympics?
You're really flailing in this one.
Does it look like?
I'm just trying to get in.
I'm just trying not to make too big of a splash.
That's all I'm doing.
You know what I mean?
I'm just trying to blend in
and ease right into the water there.
All right.
So yeah, this is one of those stories I like here.
These golden boy gone wrong stories.
And this one, this is the most irony
I've ever encountered in crime and sports.
This would be, I'm not even going to,
I'm not going to give it away.
I would give an analogy,
but it's just going to give the whole thing away.
So let's talk about Bruce Kimball.
Don't know him.
Okay, neither did I,
because I don't know Olympians, who cares?
Especially ones from the 80s.
But not to be confused with Bruce Campbell,
the star of the evil dead movies
and so don't don't do that uh his nickname is the comeback kid all right and we'll find out why
because he really his story half of his story is incredible half of his story is like this beautiful
it's a it's like a fucking poem to human determination and and a person's will and
desire and there could be like tv movies with swelling or orchestral sounds of the
while he you know does his triumphant that's how amazing it is and then the second half of the story is like driving a like a 78 pickup truck
with three wheels into a trailer that's the second half diving alone is fucking incredible it's
amazing it doesn't make any goddamn sense no how are you able to do that and then end up in a
in a particular place that you pose that you need to be control of your body is
amazing that you need to have it's unbelievable so much body touching anything no you're in the
air you have to there's no nothing to push off right gravity's fighting you the whole time
gravity wants your head down because that's the heavier part of you wants to slam your face
into the ground as hard as it possibly can and you are to they want you to wear your ass as a hat at the end of it basically that's you are to run off a concrete beam and then do some shit in the air that looks
great and then end up perpendicular perfectly without a splash how do you do it it's it takes
balls too because that it looks dangerous to me like i look at that and i'm like i don't think i
want to get that high and dive into the pool no it seems like if you do it even a little bit wrong
it's gonna hurt oh yeah yeah that's great damn bad oh yeah yeah it's gonna hurt if you land on your face or your
stomach you're gonna be in deep worse than a mike tyson knockout deep shit yeah now you're gonna
need a hospital that's what i'm saying i mean although i will say rodney dangerfield did make
it look in fact pretty easy and back to school i was like i think i could pop off a triple lindy
no problem right now if if I'm being honest.
If Rodney can do it, he's not in great shape.
No.
I think I can take it.
I'm in better shape than Rodney.
I think I could pull it off, but I don't know.
He seemed to have skills.
They did a great job casting that movie, because that guy is very passable as his son.
It is.
I don't think I ever saw that kid in a movie again.
Christine.
Oh, that's right.
He was before that.
Yeah.
Yeah. Then he was in that, and then never again. Never again. You don't think I ever saw that kid in a movie again. Christine. Oh, that's right. He was before that. Yeah. Yeah.
Then he was in that.
Right.
Never again.
Never again.
You don't like Jason.
You don't lie to me.
You lie to girls.
It's the best line.
You don't lie to me.
You lie to girls to tell your teenage son.
What a movie.
Yeah.
It's funny shit.
If you have not seen the classic back to school, then you're missing shit.
I don't know.
Anything with Rodney is the best.
Absolutely.
So the comeback kid here he's born june 11th 1963 in ann arbor michigan and he comes from a very successful family and we'll talk about that briefly here he has one brother and one sister
he's a family of three and uh his sister vicky is a diving coach to this day she's like a prominent
diving coach coaches olympians and shit like that.
Also coaches at a,
at a high school as well.
So she became successful in diving and really was in the coaching end of it
as well.
His brother is a guy named Jim Kimball,
who's a drummer in several bands in the eighties and nineties.
He was the drummer for bands,
the Jesus lizard,
which I remember that band i remember
hearing of them uh laughing hyenas mule um some other i feel like mule i've heard of yeah mule
was i think his biggest uh his biggest deal here they said the laughing hyenas though were like a
punk kind of a thing and uh they then they left to form mule which was in the 90s and i think that
was with punk band as well.
Punk sort of, not really punk, but like a, you know, loud, something loud.
Right, Ann Arbor, Michigan punk.
But yeah, but yeah, so he's considered a successful drummer, though.
He's been in all these bands that, I don't know, I guess had gigs.
I don't know what success as a drummer.
I feel like any time you're in a band, if you're being paid to play your music,
that's good.
It's a pretty good deal. But you don't feel like that about comedy no no
you said that was the quickest no jimmy's ever good you didn't give it any thought
i've been paid a lot yeah and uh not doing well yeah that was not doing it wasn't doing well yeah
you know how it is yeah and also i've seen people get paid to do comedy who they didn't do well
either so it's like well if that guy's getting paid then what's my pay worth all right you know how it is. Yeah. And also, I've seen people get paid to do comedy who they didn't do well either. So it's like, well, if that guy's getting paid, then what's my pay worth?
Right.
I should be making whatever he makes plus some.
Plus some.
Probably hotel room.
Or he shouldn't be making any money at all.
And we should keep this to a...
Yeah.
Oh, man.
This is on a pay per performance.
Yeah.
Keep this on a need-to-laugh basis.
Right.
Like, if you can't...
That's the only profession where,
like, if you handed somebody a scalp
and were like, go in there and take that guy's appendix out,
if you couldn't do it, you don't get paid.
Well, there's a problem.
You might get sued.
There's a lot of ramifications for it.
In comedy, there's no guarantee.
There's nothing.
And if it doesn't work, they're like, try again tomorrow.
It's like somebody's trying a magic trick out for the first time, not at home, but in
front of the crowd.
And they're just like, what?
And if it doesn't work, they're like, don't worry.
There's another show in two hours.
Try again.
That's what's fucked up about comedy.
We're going to pay you again.
Why not?
There's no guarantee any of these idiots are funny. So what the hell? That's what's fucked up about comedy. We're going to pay you again. Why not? There's no guarantee any of these idiots are funny, so what the hell?
That's what's messed up.
If you're a magician, you can work out a magic trick at home and then go in front of an audience
and go, look at this thing I've been practicing.
You can't do that in comedy.
You can't practice your fucking jokes with no crowd because you don't know where the
breaks are, where the rhythms are, where laughs are, where things are.
You don't know if it's funny.
You don't know at all. You go where the rhythms are, where laughs are, where things are. You don't know if it's funny. You don't know at all.
You go out there and you go, how about this?
If you're cooking, you can make some shit and eat it and try it.
You know if it tastes terrible or not.
You don't know if your own stuff is funny.
That's the horrible part of it.
The best comics in the world, their jokes are 50-50.
Literally, when they do new jokes, it's 50-50.
That's the best comics in the world.
50-50. Still better when they do new jokes, it's 50-50. That's the best comics in the world. 50-50.
Still better than baseball, but tough.
It's hard.
Tough.
It's music.
Music is hard unless you make it and then it's the easiest thing in the world for the
rest of your life.
Like I said, you can write a song on toilet paper while taking a shit for three minutes
and you make money off it for 40 years.
Royalties.
You can keep performing it over and over.
You fucking better perform it. People will shout shout for it you can't go on stage if you see like a
comic like an older comic who's a classic comic maybe somewhere two-thirds into their set they'll
go all right all right which you know i'll do a couple old jokes for you jim gaffigan will go
exactly domerara i'll bring it up big peaty little peaty fucking you know things like that i
before the cosby thing i saw cosby live and he brought those last bit closer was the dentist
thing from himself like yeah your classics but yeah you can't just go play all your old shit
over and over again you'll make money off of it yeah shut up we heard it and nobody pays you every time they play your
joke no it doesn't work you'll get your joke in a fucking cadillac commercial no and then you get a
shitload of money good god so uh bruce here his dad is dick kimball no his mother's name is gail
dick kimball is a famous guy in the diving world, like probably one of the most respected guys there are in the diving world.
He was a champion in high school.
He coached University of Michigan.
We'll start out here.
He was the Minnesota high school diving champion four straight years, all four years of high school.
He was the state diving champion.
Freshman to senior year.
He won every year. Every year, 52 to 56. to 56 well i mean there's probably like seven people i don't know who was
diving yeah it's like i can't get in a pool right but the two weeks a year where the pool is warm
enough he's just the only guy with access to an indoor pool maybe we have no idea it's either
gold or silver there's two dudes that that jump and that's it. Minnesota apparently had an AAU outdoor swimming championship team called the Rochester Rockets.
Wow.
Which is, okay.
They got like 10 minutes before that pool freezes again.
That's it.
Get in, everybody.
Let's go.
Start diving.
Pouring salt in it.
It's going to be salty today.
It's fine.
Fuck, it's going to freeze.
I know it's cold.
Hurry up.
Another bag.
Every time you're diving through thin ice.
Yeah, it's very.
It's got to be.
Every time the water gets thicker and thicker.
Why is it thick and salty?
By the end, you're diving into a salty snow cone.
Yeah, you're diving into a fucking margarita rim.
By the end of it, that's what the pool looks like.
Oh, Minnesota.
Oh, boy, Minnesota.
So he was on that team.
He graduated high school,
spent a year at the University of Oklahoma
for some reason,
and then transferred
to the University of Michigan again.
He was a member of three NCAA champion
swimming and diving teams
at Michigan from 57 to 59. his dad's just a successful guy
yeah in 57 he won the ncaa championships in the in both the one meter and three meter springboard
events no fucking idea what those are i guess they're a meter and nine meters high probably i
i'm gonna give you just a we're not gonna talk really at all about diving
because i don't know shit about it three meters huh i don't know what that was it was one meter
and three meters it's one meter and the three meter okay it's gotta be the height of the board
i would but three feet what the fuck is that what kind of springing is that i mean a meter those
boards james it's like my pool though they're fucking're fucking flingy, though. It's like a pool. Like your pool or your pool out there.
A normal, like a person's pool.
I don't know.
Three feet seems pretty high.
Not like a professional pool is what I'm getting at.
I don't know.
I guess that means you've really got to tuck and roll and get your dive through.
I guess so.
You've got to have some spring in your legs and shoot yourself up.
But those boards are so fucking floppy.
They are.
They'll shoot you up pretty good.
They're like a giant dick.
Yeah.
I don't know if maybe that's the length of the board.
That might be the length of the board because that might be the
length of the board if it's a three foot board you'd get less spring if it's one of those long
boards you can fucking shoot yourself to the other side of the pool if it's a nine foot
yeah diving board i don't know i've never seen a three foot one i don't think who the fuck i
don't know anything about it uh but he kimball dick here had two first place finishes which
accounted for like half of his of the college's points there.
And they were the key to leading Michigan to a victory over Yale in the 57 NCAA championship.
That's a lot of white people jumping on springboards.
Wow.
Imagine that.
Imagine the.
Yale and Michigan.
You need sunglasses to walk in there.
Because back then, the NBA was all white imagine what diving
against Yale would look like
outdoors holy shit
the sun combined with the fucking
pigment of the people
sunglasses you put them on
the ones that like
tan with
you need like cataract glasses
like your grandmother
just had surgery or some shit.
One of those here.
So yeah, Kimball got a bachelor's degree in 59, a master's degree in 1960.
While he was there, his dad, Bruce's dad, Dick here, also competed on the gymnastics team.
Hell yeah.
This guy is a, which you would think it's the same contortions.
It's just one you're landing on your feet and the others you're landing the other direction.
So it's interesting, though.
He also, under coach Newt Loken,
he won the national trampoline title.
What the fuck?
There's a national trampoline?
Okay.
Now, everybody out there,
when your kid's like,
I want a trampoline,
you're like, no, it's stupid
and you're going to hurt yourself.
Someday, they could be national trampoline champion. Do you understand that? They can go to college for a trampoline you're like no it's stupid you're gonna hurt yourself someday yeah they could be national trampoline champion do you understand that they ain't gonna college for trampoline
you can or you could then i don't know if it's still out there uh then he won the professional
world diving championship in 1963 and he also finished as the runner-up at the world acrobatic
diving championships he's just a he's just a an amazing contortion he can spin himself
a lot yeah it's it's pretty pretty amazing here uh in the early 60s he toured with hobie billingsley
oh i didn't it's not enough a part of the story for me to really look into what hobie billingsley
is uh but it sounds like somebody from an old cowboy show. You know, that show. What was his name? The cowboy in there.
Hobie Billingsley, you remember.
He played the sheriff.
Sheriff Hobie.
I see him as a sailor.
Oh.
With a fucking cardigan around his neck.
That kind of sailor.
But a big guy, though.
I pictured him like Tugboat from WWF back in the day.
With like a stripy shirt and a sailor hat on.
Kobe Billingsley here.
Good to see you.
He's also a Big Ten diving coach at the time.
And he also was in a, quote, comedy and acrobatic show of diving.
I don't know how you could dive comedically.
I don't understand.
Apart from landing on your fucking face.'s what i mean hey show's over everybody
splat ow there we go but i'm jing hold on this guy's got a cat there's a cannonball coming
hey all right everybody get their money's worth good that the fuck Yeah, he took off time to coach also in 60 and 62.
He took off time to serve in the U.S. State Department as goodwill ambassadors touring the world.
Just like, hey, these are nice guys.
Isn't the U.S. great?
Look at him.
Here's a diver to shake your hand.
He dives funny.
Right.
Isn't that fun?
Don't you like us more now?
You don't want to start a war now right they gave over 1 000 performances on their 1962 world tour that's
insane yeah and also appeared on television including on ed sullivan's show and uh other
shows as well and like three shows a night jane yeah that's three shows a night every fucking
night that's four to ten weekends they're probably doing an afternoon and probably three evening shows on a Saturday.
That is so busy.
They do a noon show and do a four, six, and eight.
Yeah.
Boom, boom, boom.
I don't know how long they take.
It's a comedy show.
You know what?
If you're just doing one dive and that's hilarious and that's the end of the show, maybe that's
it.
You know what, though?
There is a comedy dive show at Casa Bonita in Denver.
It's like a Mexican restaurant.
If you've ever been to Casa Bonita.
Shoot Mexican dudes out of cannons and shit?
Kind of.
No, they have like a... And they make it like super racist.
It's actually like a jungle theme in that area.
See how long, how much of fucking La Cucaracha they can play before he hits the water.
It's a giant waterfall and somebody gets shot
and then they do like a backflip dive off the waterfall
and into the fucking pool.
Is that funny though?
I don't know.
For kids, it's funny.
How is it funny?
There's like a fucking script that's funny.
Oh, there's somebody talking and then there's like a
like cartoon sound effects.
Okay.
There's a girl and then she likes a guy and she likes this guy too.
Oh, so there's a storyline.
Yeah, there's a storyline and it's funny.
If you're eight, it's fucking amazing.
The fuck is happening?
If you're in your 30s, it's garbage.
It sounds like Vince McMahon got into diving.
So did his.
We're going to have a, the storyline's going to be amazing.
So take your, oh wait, your shirt's already off.
Everyone's shirt's off.
I love this sport.
And then you raise a little, raise a little flag on your table for more soap apias that's how it works i think yeah that means time for another yeah another sacrifice
they shoot another poor guy out of a cannon it's the dishwashers they rotate them
let's go j, into the cannon.
As a kid, I always thought.
Not good, man.
Not cool.
Very racist.
The spray is fucking cold, too.
So you're like, that water's freezing.
Yeah.
And that guy just jumped into it in his whole fucking clothes.
He's like, I don't know.
While I'm pushing a burrito down my throat.
What are you going to do?
Yeah.
He's like, I got to get back to the kitchen now.
Sorry.
I got to go make you more burritos, young man.
Sorry.
I'm going to spit in them, though, because that sucked.
That water was cold.
It is cold.
You're right.
When Kimball and Hobie Billingsley performed at the 1962 annual swimming carnival at Yale.
Yeah.
The swimming carnival at Yale, Jimmy.
Yeah.
The Yale swimming carnival.
Carnival.
We're going there this year, aren't we?
Aren't we playing there this year? They don't even just call it a meet. They say a fucking carnival. Carnival. We're going there this year, aren't we? Aren't we playing there this year?
They don't even just call it a meet.
They say a fucking carnival.
It's a carnival, Jimmy.
It's wonderful.
The carnival.
Carnival.
It's like Rio, but with less filthy South Americans.
Right.
And way less clothes.
Yeah, and way less clothes.
Or way more clothes than Yaleale i suppose in brazil
no one has any clothes it's hot and they're like fuck it look at our asses aren't they great
we're gonna have everything out except for our gross dick everyone here's got a nice ass we're
gonna show you okay we'll be hanging out i think you're gonna thank us for that now dance fucker
so the bridgeport post reported in 62 at the Swimming Carnival that these two, Kimball and Billingsley, quote, two of the world's greatest divers.
Between them, holders of scores of high board championships will be among the host of the talented performers.
They are Dick Kimball and Hobie Billingsley, who have teamed together to form the world's foremost acrobatic and diving comedy team.
Kimball is regarded as the world's greatest acrobatic diver.
That's from there.
They showed this 1960 account featuring a high diving from atop a 30-foot tower is what he would do.
That's high.
That's really high.
Holy shit.
That's crazy acrobatic shit.
They do rhythmic swimming. I don't know how that's a
skill and all swimming is rhythmic i would assume i guess like synchronized you fucking drown yeah
yeah you're gonna you stop with the rhythm you better get back into rhythm pretty quick
fancy diving i don't know what that would be and then comedy acts so there's that uh now bruce is
born in 63 amongst all this shit.
This is when he was going for the State Department tour in the world, doing a thousand shows, and then Bruce is coming right at that time period.
A lot of stuff going on here.
Now, Bruce is named after a guy named Bruce Harlan, who was his dad Dick's predecessor as the coach in the University of Michigan, who died in a diving accident.
Wow. So it is dangerous. He did not fit in the university of michigan who died in a diving accident wow so it is dangerous he did not fit in the cup i think yeah the cup is a little small well the problem was nobody moved the horse first that was the issue
he went right into the horse and there was a problem otherwise he could have made it
that's the thing is you got to get the horse out of the cup right fill it back up with the thimble
of water and then wait for dick to come flying down or bruce harlan i should say
so he died in a diving act that's this bruce harlan guy who's kind of dick's mentor got it
he didn't get all the way around no smashed his face into the pool apparently so i guess you can
die in a diving act which i mean if the pools do shout there's a lot of ways to die in a diving
accident you can catch yourself on a board. Yeah.
As we've seen, that's happened before to people.
So, in 1964, Dick Kimball was named coach of the U.S. Olympic diving team.
Really?
Yeah, after the old coach, Henry Chapman, had a heart attack and died.
It's a tragic-ass sport.
So, everyone's dying, Jimmy.
Wipe it clear.
Let's go.
New blood. So, yeah, 64, his dad's dying, Jimmy. Wipe it clear. Let's go. New blood.
So yeah, 64.
His dad's now the Olympic coach.
He's also a college coach.
So lots of clout there.
And Kimball, he predicted that the U.S. would do very well under his tutelage here. And in 1964, they won three gold medals and eight of the 12 medals awarded at the Olympics under his tutelage, which ain't too shabby.
66%?
It's not bad.
He also went on to coach the U.S. Olympic diving teams in 1980, 1984, 1988, 1992.
Okay.
So Dick is...
He's a big deal in diving.
He's a big deal in diving, yeah.
He's the big dick of diving.
He's the big swinging comedic dick of diving.
That's right, the acrobatic dick of diving.
He contorts it like nobody else, Jimmy.
It's amazing.
Contortion is his main skill.
So the U.S. team, of course, boycotted in 1980 in Moscow,
and so he didn't get to do anything there.
But in 1984, that was when they also won eight of 12 medals under his tutelage,
and we'll get into 84
because bruce comes into that one uh he also coached michigan for 43 years retiring in 2002
holy shit so yeah he's quite the impressive absolutely and he wanted his kids in the
fucking pool asap like swim dive it was all about that shit. When Bruce is a baby, the
seat of his bathing suit, they gave,
you know, the ass of his bathing suit that they gave
him, they had a special one made
that said Olympic gold medalist 1984
on it. So... Wow.
I mean, that's... Foreshadowing as fuck.
Talk about giving a kid a kidney gummy,
or, you know, the Jennifer Capriati approach.
Right. We've seen this before.
This... This is a problem
how well does this work out todd marinovich you know what i'm saying like stop todd stop it's the
cops todd todd todd we know it's you jesus christ todd don't make us run that's my favorite todd
when the when you're acting crazy and cops just show up and go hey todd come on like you've done too much
first name basis hands behind the back and just go i gotta get my life together i'm this is from
this moment on my life is different because i can't have every cop in town know my first name
like from a glance yeah not even is that a blur second he got out of the car todd jesus christ
it's fucking todd again it's like reno 911 with
their it's mike oh jesus it's terry terry yeah it's terry or mike the guy with the arrow in his
fucking head yeah uh unreal i love terry i hear he's like such a dick as a comic i know comics
that know him and i know some pretty gross stories about him. Oh, there's a lot of gross stories.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, Terry is not that far.
Terry's damn near doing a autobiography.
Yeah, it's basically, yeah.
So if you run into Nick Swartz, and he will jerk you off in a tacos, tacos, tacos, tacos bathroom for $3.
And tell the cops that he was just there washing his hands.
He was just washing his hands.
He's like, there's no pubic hair in the tacos.
It's just, I put pubic hair in this.
I mean, no.
Okay, so this is pushing your kid, though.
He's a baby.
This is like not even, he barely walks.
And he's 84 Olympic gold medalist.
Path already done for him.
That's weird.
My parents had no plans for
me whatsoever none none we hope he lives we hope he'll survive into adulthood that was it my mom
couldn't believe i was there yeah she's like what the fuck no plans no no it was just like well i
don't know hopefully you'll you'll figure something out right like that's how most people come up your
parents they might have an idea.
I really like him to do this.
I really like her to do this.
Or, you know, I wish she would take after me
and become this or whatever.
But, you know, you put drop subtle hints.
This is different.
This is a plan.
He's ready to execute.
Do they plan his birth probably, right?
I don't know.
That's not covered.
It's not discussed.
Well, if I ever run into his mom, I'll assume though because i was back in that time too where you just
you fuck and then if kids happen then usually yeah that's our plan hey we fucked of course
there's gonna be kids gonna be kids and then that generation next they fucked and they're like kids
happen from this shit oh my god yeah they were surprised. They were unbelievably blown away. Surprised. Kids now are surprised. My mother couldn't believe it. Yeah, mine either.
Really?
Jesus Christ.
How'd this happen?
My mom had medical issues and went to have a hysterectomy, and she was pregnant then.
It was a bet.
It wasn't going to happen.
But she was pregnant then.
They had to terminate it because it was all fucked up.
Is that you?
No.
Almost.
I was the one right before that okay
you just got it under the last right under the wire right at the last call
it was fucked up man sorry we just did last call no i don't care if you have your id we just did
last call they hung it up in the tube or something. Last call. See the sign in the tube? Last call.
And that's what happened.
And you were in there slamming a few down before they shut the fucking doors.
I'm guzzling that kid's drinks.
Jesus Christ.
Let's try to make this as offensive as possible.
I love it.
I love it.
I don't even care.
We're so damn delirious
just with these shows, doing so many shows and all this
i'm just i hate so much i'm stuck in the house and i'm doing all this i'm losing my fucking mind
so i don't care so he's got uh olympic gold medalist 84 he started diving when he was six
really six jesus christ i don't know i wonder if it was more diving or just his dad going
take him up to a high part and dropping him yeah try to aim your fucking hands downward
he's up there holding him by his ankles going hands down son just just here i come try not to
try not to flip backwards close your mouth let's do it yeah close your mouth let's go so but he was really good at the age of 13 13 in 1977 he placed uh he placed 14th at the or 1976
he placed 14th at the olympic trials at the age of 13 that's unbelievable which is not enough not
good enough to make the team but it shows everybody holy shit when this kid has pubic hair he's going to be better he's going to be amazing when he
starts to stink after gym class yeah then it's going to be yeah something he's going to be
amazing in three years three to four years and a reason to shave his chest yeah when he starts
being interested in sex with anybody it's going to be interesting here so so he's he's known as a prodigy obviously
he's the and it's his dad is dick kimball and i mean this is to be expected and the fact that
who his dad is and everything everyone's like oh he's the next olympic champion period like
it's obvious here uh but bruce was having a hard time with the whole thing bruce is very
ultra insanely competitive and a lot of that is because of his dad his dad's
nuts as far as uh competitive and perfection goes yeah his daughter tells a story about how
he was trying this dive one time and he basically belly flopped like five times in a row and they
were like well you think that's enough and he was bright red and in pain and he said no i have to
get it right right and that was like the
example of like to your own detriment even be insane yeah be insane my dad would be so disappointed
if i quit now exactly and that's that's how he feels and and he's so for bruce he has the same
attitude that either goes two ways either the kid comes in becomes one of those people who's like i
don't give a fuck about anything or they they're very ultra-competitive.
And according to a former coach of Greg Louganis, the champion diver, one of his coaches said one of the meets when they saw young Bruce, Bruce didn't come in first.
And when he didn't, he would throw his runner-up medals.
He'd just fucking throw them.
He didn't even want them.
He didn't care.
He would get so mad, he'd just wing them across the room yeah the one's no part of it just a terrible loser terrible
loser very perfectionist angry and ever at the world if he's not perfect but otherwise considered
a pretty mild guy you know i mean he's a he's a fucking think about it there's nothing mild
about a man who throws runner up shit but the second he leaves
the pool yeah then it's like yeah how's it going yeah like he's not he's a fucking diver
like he's you know it's not he's not a real aggressive thing like i mean you have to have
balls but it's not like i'm gonna punch that guy right in the face yeah and then he's gonna dive
in a pool that's not how it works. So, uh, and it's,
it's one of those things of,
we've talked about it a million times.
Is it better for a father to,
you know,
go away as soon as possible or to most cases it's to,
you know,
beat the living shit out of anyone with an arm's reach.
Whereas this,
it's the,
or to over do the arch leaster,
the Todd Marinovich,
the Jennifer Capriati, the difference between all, the Todd Marinovich, the Jennifer Capriotti.
The difference between all of them and this one, though,
is that his dad is an unbelievable achiever.
That's the other thing.
This is like if Michael Jordan's kid ever picked up a basketball,
I'd be like, fuck are you doing, kid?
Well, he did.
He quit college ball a couple years ago.
That's my point.
Because he wasn't.
It's hard.
As soon as you touch the ball.
You can't be a seventh man if Michael Jordan's your dad.
Right. You can't do it. It's tough. you... As soon as you touch the ball. You can't be a seventh man if Michael Jordan's your dad. Right.
You can't do it.
It's tough.
It looks shitty.
The wait is over.
So far, you're not losing.
The only thing you're losing is my patience.
Quickly, I see that.
Bing!
The queen of the courtroom is back.
I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her.
A-long.
Okay, so, um...
Matt, this is not a so.
This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am. Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin. His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
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music or wondery app it is it is and that's the thing too a lot of our guys their father was like
never father like almost made it or something like marinovich's dad played in the nfl and was a coach
but he was never a big star.
Whereas his son was going to be the star.
Their kid is going to write that wrong that the world did to them.
I'm going to show them my seed as good one.
Watch this.
I couldn't do it myself, but you know what I did?
I fucking shot myself into somebody else and made something even better.
Look at that.
And this shit here.
If you're the best at something, don't let your kid do it no don't let them no it's gonna be just depressing it's
it never it never happens but they look at them as their own little jizz clone that's the thing
like look what my jizz did it made a clone that ego man it's something that's what they think so
look i made a little me and i going to make him better than my fucking parents
failed me. If only they would have pushed
me like I'm going to push him, I would have been where he
could be. I feel like that's... I guess
the opposite is true, too, with the Mannings.
I mean, he made people that are better than
he ever was. He made
shit two NFL quarterbacks, another guy's a coach.
He made a lot of... He made some pretty good...
He made some amazing jizz. Which is, yeah,
it's not too shabby, but how often does that happen?
He needed somebody else's DNA to couple with his to make the amazing part.
It's true.
But if this guy finds something that couples with his DNA and makes something even better,
that's frightening.
Yeah, I mean, where's Joe Montana's kid?
You know what I mean?
You don't see anybody pushing out there.
I mean, it's weird how just some people are, whatever, I don't know.
And Archie raised them crazy like this i mean they were right like little football
quarterback robots from the time they were small um but some people yeah wondered if it was the
best idea to have your father coach you because it's not it's not it's a weird relationship that
you might need a distance from your coach as far as that goes.
It's too close otherwise.
One of the diving colleagues here said, quote, I think Dick and Bruce have done a tremendous job, but I think it's real hard for Dick to say, Bruce, just mellow out.
And you just can't handle being perfect 100% of the time.
So that's, yeah, he doesn't have, his father doesn't temper him at all because his father's like, oh, good, have that attitude because that's yeah he doesn't have his father doesn't his father doesn't temper him at all because his
father's like oh good and have that attitude because that's his attitude right so it's on
a personal level can be quite detrimental to people obviously uh bruce by the way here in
high school he's uh when he's fully grown too he's 5'7 135 my man so yeah he's a he's a he's a
jimmy size guy yeah he's a bit skinnier i was gonna say i don't think
135 that's not a beer drinking i don't think you've seen 135 since your sophomore year of
high school probably i graduated high school 120 okay well there you go that's that's fucking
hilarious that is funny and uh a stiff breeze man what's happened what the hell has happened jimmy what's going on here i found beer i found beer uh let's see here now quickly through his his
stuff here uh in 1976 he finished 14th in the 10 meter platform uh that was the that was the
trials that we talked about here 78 he was the was a high school all-american as a freshman
finished seventh in the 10 meter at the world championship trials so that's you know two years
he's 15 then uh 79 he took first in the one and three meter springboards and the 10 meter platform
at the canadian winter nationals you're diving in canada in the winter? Yeah. That must be indoors. That's balls. Claimed he was second at the National Sports Festival and third at the Pan American Trials in the 10-meter.
In 1980, he finished fifth and tenth in the 10-meter and 3-meter at the Olympic Trials and captured the first of six USA Senior National titles in the 10-meter.
Wow, I don't know what the hell that means.
In 1981, he made high school All-American
for the fourth and straight year, so all four
years of high school, he's an All-American.
Swept all three events at the World Age
Group Meet, 15 to 17
year old. He's the best in that age in the
world, apparently. Kept a perfect
record in the 10 meter at the
USA Age Group Nationals
with seven titles and seven tries
i want to know what this looks like to be successful as a kid like this and that good
at diving i want to stand by anything that was great that was the one as a teenager imagine just
being successful at anything as a teenager we talk about this sometimes it's like i can't imagine it
as a teenager i was fucking worthless to the outside world. I was good at rolling blunts.
On a level that adults look at you and go, you're going to be somebody.
Yeah, no, no one thought anything.
God, no.
No, no one thought I was going to be anything.
They were like, oh, man, why'd you do this to yourself?
How'd you end up here?
Why are you such a fuck-up?
A lot of adults looked at me and were like, it's going to be expensive on the taxpayers to
house you at some point.
Yeah, I got to.
This is not going to go well.
You don't have a lot of plans, do you?
No, I really don't.
A teacher genuinely asked me, what the fuck do you think happens after high school?
Yeah.
And I was stumped, and I had no idea what to answer.
And I was like, I don't know.
What do you think happened?
I don't care.
I mean, I didn't. Well, at the time, you know. I guess I'll get a job. But he was telling me, look, had no idea what to answer. And I was like, I don't know. What did you think happened? I don't care. I mean, I guess I'll get a job.
But he was telling me, look, you're a fuck-up dude.
He was asking me to go big picture.
Right.
He's making me go, like, what is your plan?
Like, where are you going to go?
Oh, I have no plan whatsoever.
Jesus.
As long as I get another meal.
I don't know.
I jerk off for a while.
I'm a pizza place.
I steal pizzas.
So there's that.
That seems to go pretty well for now. I'm fine. I don't know. My mom place. I steal pizzas. So there's that. That seems to go pretty well for now.
Seems to be doing fine.
I don't know.
My mom's letting me live there.
So that's good.
Planning on gaining about 60 pounds in the next 15 years.
You got that going for me.
Wait till I'm 39.
You wait till that.
Mr. Hunter, you're going to be blown away by how fat I can get.
It's awesome.
Oh, Christ.
So Bruce, though, very successfuluce though very successful unlike us very unsuccessful
here um 1981 he like i said made all that stuff did well seventh and seven tries uh in the fall
of 1981 he is off to the university of michigan for his freshman year so this is like just jesus scholarship yeah his dad's the coach yeah
you know he is just on a on a just on a on a uh what are those things slip and slide yeah he's on
a slip and slide to the olympics to the fly and just go on a toboggan to the olympics fly into
the olympics here his life really can't get much better than now but it will it will don't worry uh so he's in the university
of michigan fall of 1981 october 18th 1981 comes around it's 2 45 a.m which as we know from crime
and sports whenever we say anything a.m yeah it's a bad sign unless it's 7 a.m and he's waking up
from a great night's sleep a lot of times 7 a.m means they're still fucked up from the night before so that's a bad thing also like 11 a.m if you hear anything other than that it's bad times
so they might have gotten up by 11 so kimball bruce is going home after a party um he is with
another diver a guy named robert cra, and they're in Craig's BMW.
These are...
Wow.
Wow.
What a foreign life.
Wow.
Rich kid with a success.
We're going to college.
Free ride to college.
Let's go to indoor pools, BMWs.
I don't know.
Leaving a party where he was probably the guest of honor.
Oh.
It was the Kimball party.
Yeah.
He probably got three blowjobs at that party.
Kimball-a-palooza.
Yeah.
Kimball-a-palooza. Kimball-a-palooza. He shows up. Yeah. It was probably Kimball at that party. Kimball-a-palooza. Yeah. Kimball-palooza shows up.
Yeah.
It was probably Kimball blowjob-a-palooza.
Show up.
Everyone wants to blow you.
It was probably right on the invitation.
Yeah.
There was balloons saying, take it out.
Whip it out, Bruce.
Can't wait to suck it.
It's a venom of chlorine.
We know it's clean as fuck.
The store doesn't sell a lot of the can't wait to suck it
balloons so when you come in and buy some they're pretty fucking excited they're like oh these have
been in inventory for five years no one wants to can't wait to suck it oh we hope they're still
good but this is why we get the mylar ones because the rubber ones just disintegrate they would have
popped as soon as we put air in them the mylar ones though they hold it yeah and plus you can
put a better picture of a cock behind it
at that point, too,
so you can really see it.
Get them in dick shapes.
Dick shapes.
Any shape you want.
You can put balls with hair on them.
It's great.
So he's going home in this BMW,
2.45 in the morning.
Fresh out of jizz.
Fresh out of jizz.
I mean, he is drained.
His friend said,
Hey, Bruce.
And he went,
Huh?
And turned his head slowly.
What?
Water.
Water.
So they're driving home to Ann Arbor, Michigan, where both of their families live.
where both of their families live.
It is at that point when a, oh boy, this is rough too,
when a van driving the opposite direction crosses the double yellow line and slams into the BMW.
So they're both driving full speed,
and this is a drunk driver in a van in the other car,
head-on collision with them.
This is, the impact was,
Kimball was in the passenger side, and apparently that took the brunt of the impact the way the guy went across
the line oh he was all the way over yeah uh the impact was so strong that it drove the car it goes
from you know 40 miles an hour in one direction to being shot 145 feet backwards wow that's the fucking impact that that's how
fast that other much faster and also how much bigger of a vehicle it was so rich people you
want a bmw you want a van well speed and mass physics wise that's you know so there you go
two things can't occupy the same space one's gonna end up 145 feet fucking backwards, which is a bit of a problem, I would say, to say the least here.
So this is an issue.
Now, Bruce is obviously hurt.
Fucked up.
Badly.
Every bone in his face is broken.
His skull is fractured.
He has a depression,
like a depression fracture in his skull.
His spleen is ruptured,
has to be removed.
His liver's lacerated.
Loses the hearing in his right ear. spleen is ruptured has to be removed his liver's lacerated uh loses the hearing in his right ear his legs are fucked up i mean he is fucking destroyed yeah his body is
mush i mean you could have just thrown him off the top of a building and he you know it would
have been the same type of injuries like just unbelievable absolute destruction of this person's
body uh his mother gail said she was positive he was going to die in the emergency room.
He was an absolute mess.
He underwent initial,
as soon as they got him to the hospital,
he had 10 hours of surgery.
And then a couple days later
had to have 14 more hours of surgery.
So, I mean, it was, yeah, pretty wild here.
Finally, he gains consciousness, which is good uh he gains
consciousness and uh the first thing he says literally opens his eyes and his dad's there
and he's telling him how when can i get back in the pool when can i get diving that's the first
thing he's thinking about he doesn't even have a face or you know he's destroyed you're much less
aerodynamic now son dude that's that's gonna
be an issue uh bruce's former high school coach said quote his recovery was a combination of both
him and dick never giving up i never would have made it and he's bruce said later on i never would
have made it without my dad he spent every night in the hospital with me so yeah just saying you're
gonna dive better right whispering in his ear, better diving.
Straighter.
Right.
Into the water.
No splash.
No splash.
Huh?
What?
What?
His dad's like, oh, nothing.
He's reading a magazine.
He's not saying anything.
He's over here reading Swimmer Digest.
Okay.
He's reading Diver fucking Diver Weekly over here.
That's pretty sweet.
So, yeah, this is obviously horrible. He almost bled to death his face hit the dashboard that's what destroyed his face also his left leg is broken as well which is
bad for diving so not not real good here uh they had to have all sorts of reconstructive surgery
for his face obviously because his face was just never was the same i mean as they got mashed um terrible stuff here
but his mom said that when he came around they knew that he was going to be okay because they
said he might have brain damage he had his head really hard and we don't know how this is going
to recover and they said once he regained consciousness he was coming around he was
around for a few days and his mom said quote he wrote a dirty joke for one of the nurses
that's when we knew he didn't have brain damage he wrote hold on he made it he made a pass at one of the nurses is what that
means right he fucking you can call it a dirty joke right he said he made a sexual advance at
one of the nurses we said no he doesn't have brain damage his dick works anyway i don't know
he's sexually harassing people that's normal that's normal right that's my boy
that's my boy in the 80s that's how you could tell if someone was feeling okay oh good he's up to
he's up and around he's eating he's drinking he's sexually harassing right it's good trying to
finger people against their will that's good he's doing it right in my butthole you know but i let
him do it because i'm happy i just let him i let him so I'm not a bad person. He's up and around. I'm happy for him.
So his mother also said that his face was, quote, mush.
That's not how you want your face to be told, to be described.
It took two reconstructions to put his face back together, plastic surgery and everything like that.
He's been IV fed this whole time
to in the hospital uh not a great thing when he comes home from the hospital he weighs 107 pounds
that is thin uh and he comes home a little over a month after the accident so his whole future is in
complete limbo and limbo up in the air and through no fault of his own no he didn't do anything he
was out you know it's fine to be out you didn't do anything wrong some drunk asshole right fucking
plowed into him you know so you got to feel bad for a guy like this it's a it's a rough thing here
uh so he is in casts and on crutches until the next april so from october to april this is um
it's man tough stuff for here uh it's tough stuff
for him in late may he begins diving again so he starts diving which is pretty impressive it's like
seven months after the accident he's putting his face that's been torn to shreds into a pool i mean
that's dangerous he's chancing uh fucking up a lot of healing his skull his face is it's crazy he's got
a soft spot again yeah it's yeah he's like a like an infant yeah watch your thumb around him
that's what you do if he tries to put in your butthole like it yeah you give him a thumb right
back right in his soft spot so he uh uh he ends up uh uh you know diving and diving uh he ends up diving and diving.
He ends up six weeks after he starts diving again, he ends up at the Olympic Festival diving in a competition already.
Carnivals, festivals.
Carnival.
Yeah.
Where he is in this festival, he ends up being second to Greg Louganis.
Who are you? In this particular Olympic Festival.
to Greg Louganis in this particular
Olympic festival.
And Louganis said that
they had the little victory stand.
Louganis pulled him up
to the top of it
and said that
Bruce is the real winner
is what he told everybody.
Because it's amazing
that he's even diving.
He said,
Bruce is the real.
It's like incredible
that he couldn't walk
two months ago
and now he's second place
and that's pretty fucking impressive.
You know?
Well, he's in the soft spot.
Not too shabby,
but watch his head.
Watch his head. Don't touch it it just let him leave his hat on he's got a soft spot and i got a soft spot for that that's perfect good shit so uh uh yeah after that everybody called him the
comeback kid that was he was the comeback kid all right everybody that was just his name whenever
they'd say oh olympics it's this
he was the comeback kids coming to there they didn't even know his name anymore that's all he
was uh 82 83 through here he beats uh he actually beats luganus in the united states outdoor platform
diving championships and every competition he's in the top three he's he's right up, he's in the top three. He's right up there. He's kicking ass. He then won the pre-Olympic trials in Los Angeles that year and placed second behind Louganis in Indianapolis, where I always think of swimming.
In Minneapolis and Indianapolis.
In the 1983 National Sports Festival, the World Cup in Woodlands, Texas, and the Pan American Games in Caracas, Venezuela.
They're all impressive sounding.
Yeah, that one was Louganis beat him on the final dive.
Okay.
Oh, came down to the wire.
Came down to the last dive here.
That's exciting.
That's crazy shit.
So this brings us to the 84 Olympics.
Now, the 84 Olympics takes place in Los Angeles.
Really? Yeah, it was the LA Olympics, which is Olympics takes place in Los Angeles. Really?
Yeah, it was the LA Olympics, which is hilarious for a couple of reasons.
Nobody else wanted it.
No?
There was only two serious bids for the 84 Summer Games.
Where were they?
Los Angeles, and I'll give you a guess of any other city in the world.
You won't get it right.
It's not in the United States.
North Korea.
Tehran.
Very close.
Tehran and Los Angeles.
Now, Tehran,
this was right after the hostage thing.
Not the friendliest place to have the...
Not a tourism friendly...
No, not everyone wants to go to Tehran
in 1984.
Not the best place to be.
Literally, the Iron Sheik
was the biggest villain in the country
as a wrestler at that point so not
okay uh so they made bids and then uh they they won los angeles was in the was a finalist for the
olympics in 78 and uh the the all this sort of shit there and then in 84 the they they decided
to give it to los ang Angeles instead of Tehran,
because for obvious reasons.
84, obviously.
We'd like an audience.
We'd like people to come.
That's all.
So, yeah, they tried in 76 and 80 to be with the Olympics.
I guess the 84 Olympics here, Los Angeles,
this was like one of the last profitable Olympics also.
We'll talk about that in a second.
This was in California.
The official mascot, I remember we did that last time, of this one.
Really?
Oh, God.
Here he is, Jimmy.
What is it?
Sam the Olympic Eagle.
Okay.
It's not bad.
It's just the corniest.
It's an eagle with an uncle sam hat and a
big you know red and white striped bow tie it's it's uncle sam fucked a cartoon fuck the cartoon
eagle yeah and told you not to pollute the wetlands right yeah so uh the 84 games were boycotted
by the eastern bloc countries though these were there was no russia no soviet union
east germany none of that shit was there in 84 well they weren't gonna win anyone no it made it
a little easier to win with them not there which was nice this was i remember mark mcguire was on
the baseball team this year okay in 84 yes he was and this was like the year mary lou retton
became a huge star i remember just her on the weedies boxes with her fucking bowl cut. Yeah. It's just that.
Yeah.
Bad luck.
Well, the 80 Olympics, the U.S. boycotted, because that was in Moscow, and then we had the 84 here, and so they boycotted.
So it was just a tip for tap.
Was it Mary Lou Retner?
It was Carrie Strug that broke something, right?
I think so.
I don't fucking know.
I think she broke something.
Like, a leg.
I remember one of them, yeah, limping.
Right.
Still landed it.
Right.
And then, like, and yeah fanning herself
it was a moment so what your legs broken jesus it's a big deal for her you fix nobody ever broke
a leg and won a gold at the same time you fucking cry baby but she stuck the way that's amazing
and she couldn't get out of the mat because fucking bugs stuck through it. Shit.
That's awesome.
So the fuck, man.
Also, Iran and Libya chose to boycott the games this year.
You weren't going to win either.
That's no.
Romania is the only Eastern Bloc country that chose to attend the games here in 84. U.S. won the most gold and overall medals, followed by Romania and West Germany.
So there you go.
Now, it's the most financially successful modern Olympics.
They generated $250 million in profit from this Olympic.
Yeah.
Nowadays, it's just a huge money loser here, as we'll talk about here very briefly.
as we'll talk about here,
for very briefly.
Basically, the cost to put the Olympics on in 84,
adjusted for inflation,
is about $719 million.
Okay?
That's amazing.
Compared to the 2016 Rio is $4.6 billion.
That makes sense.
Beijing, $44 billion.
Yeah.
And Sochi, $51 billion. Really? And Sochi, $51 billion.
Really? $51 billion with a fucking B.
Wow.
Billion.
That's why it's a money loser.
Yeah, because they don't have...
Fucking Russia doesn't have infrastructure.
They had to build a town.
Right.
They had to invent a fucking place for this.
They didn't have this shit out there.
It's in the middle of nowhere.
$51 billion. That's insane. Wow. Think about what you could do with... That's nuts, man. for this they didn't have this this shit out there it's in the middle of nowhere 50 51 billion
dollars that's insane wow think about what you could do it that's nuts man la did it for 900
la did it for not even 800 million dollars which is pretty incredible honestly it's not bad but
there were no fucking drones spelling out countries and flags and remember that was
whatever the equivalent was fucking amazing that was but that's not what cost money the cost was in building a fucking city they had to build sewers right and
they had to i mean you can't just take a you know an untouched piece of land and put a city there
right to be ready in three months tomorrow good luck you know what i mean everything nothing
technology that they did that was incredible yeah they did some cool shit there. Now, he, during this Olympics, this is actually pretty interesting here.
Greg Louganis ends up being the gold medal winner in diving.
He had like a crazy, he won every fucking competition.
It was insane.
And then he, of course, had HIV.
Right.
And that all happened.
Did he have it then? Yes. He did. And he knew he had it then and HIV. Right. And that all happened. Did he have it then?
Yes.
He did?
And he knew he had it then and was competing anyway.
Getting in that pool.
And he said later on that he felt bad because he didn't even think about that he could have been...
He was like, oh, I guess I could have cut myself open.
Or, you know, in that village when I was fucking everybody.
That's the other thing.
Well, hopefully he knew not to do that.
So we talked about, on the last week on Hope Solo, talking about all the fucking that goes on out in the other thing. Hopefully he knew not to do that. So we talked about the last week on Hope Solo talking about all the fucking that goes on
out in the open fucking.
It's insane.
There's so much fucking.
These people got to be are like exhausted.
They run out of condoms.
It's international fucking.
Right.
Imagine the accents going on.
Imagine just some guy from Spain romancing some Danish chick like Ken Patera there.
Imagine that going back and forth
the nice part is that no transitions into every language so that no is good yeah
i don't know if she said yes but she certainly didn't say no she said
maybe that's what they're all saying she said pull it out i think that's the only thing that's
why i think they may be that they were trying to hook up with people from other countries or like i
can't tell if they're saying no or not they're all rapists at the olympics is what we're saying
all rapist olympians it's fucking not all rapists are athletes but all athletes are rapists pretty
much the italian team sing team singing opera as they rape yeah that's what i would like
raping people don't rape anybody don't do that we're just assuming that this happened 35 years
ago oh it had to be way worse than i'm sure it was yeah because it was considered okay to
to make a sexual to make a sexual pass at the nurse in front of your mom was considered,
hey, he's feeling better.
So, yeah.
That's a sign of healing.
It's a different environment back then, I'm going to feel like.
China had a diver, by the way.
I didn't look over all these divers, but this name popped out at me
because it sounds like a racist made-up name from like a like a like an old cartoon or something yeah his name
is lee hop ling lee hong ping hong ping sounds like a made-up racist name that somebody would
give a chinese character in the 70s or somebody would what you doing there hong ping somebody
put that name in the donations list so that to try to make me sound like an asshole exactly hong ping
lee hong ping lee is li yeah lee hong ping so uh old hong ping there but uh greg finishes uh with
a silver medal behind greg luganus which there's really no no shame in finishing behind luganus at
this point he was at the top of his game and killing everybody, quite figuratively and literally.
I would hope that I would finish before him.
You want to finish before him and get away from him before he finishes.
You don't want to follow him ever.
You don't want to follow him into the pool.
Can I go first?
Is this properly chlorinated?
Did we shock this?
Yeah, no, this is a sad shit that happened to Louganis.
It's horrible it's
terrible shit man that's very fucking sad so um anyway uh he becomes he wins a silver medal bruce
does and uh this is a crazy accomplishment obviously he was put back together less than
three years ago and now he's winning a silver medal the he's the comeback kid like a motherfucker
i mean he got more attention out of this than
luganus did for winning right and he really did like bruce he became a huge national hero for
winning a silver medal which is crazy you know the world is his oyster at this point grace yeah
that's grace i would say coming back from that shit ending up how do you do it it's wild silver
silver medal that's grace uh it's grace he's also here's another
thing i don't know how he does he's bad at driving i feel like maybe this guy should get rides places
or something because he's not good at well when he got a ride someplace it didn't work out very
well professional ride yeah like a limo or the back of a long black car uber black or something
he needs whatever the 84 equivalent of that is he needs. Because between 83 and 86, he receives at least six citations for speeding, disobeying traffic signs, improper passing, moving violations that are aggressive moving violations, basically.
Showing aggression in the road.
So much so that by 1986, his license is actually suspended for a year
wow so yeah his michigan driver's license is suspended for a year so i drive like a fucking
jerk that's what i mean i've never had it taken away can you imagine like what and especially
you're not a national fucking hero right you're not the comeback kid on the cover of people magazine
how bad that's how many tickets he got how many did
he get out that's what i'm saying how many they were like holy shit it's bruce kimball look at
you wow your face looks great great job very little splash the dimples almost gone luganus
didn't give you any of the uh no okay and then that's it get out of here get you know uh get
on get back to the pool big guy i'll make it up on the next guy.
Think about that.
How much fucking bad driving.
He's just a fuck.
He's an asshole behind the wheel.
He is.
He's an absolute asshole behind the wheel.
Also, at this point, he's engaged.
He gets a fiance.
He's trying to start to put his life together here.
Michigan reinstates his driver's license nine months later, mid-1987.
He is allowed to drive again.
And that's unfortunate, let's just say, because August 1st, 1988, he has a bit of a problem behind the wheel.
He and his friends, he's with a friend of his and his fiance.
And they were at a party
they've had a few oh no tipping a couple back um here it's uh 10 45 p.m he's on his way to drop
off his friend chuck wade off at this guy's home in brandon florida they're down in florida um i
guess he turned on to culbreth road and uh was going too fast and lost control of his car at this point.
Missed the driveway he was supposed to go on.
He's driving a silver Mazda RX-7.
Hell yeah.
Going approximately 70 to 90 miles an hour in a 35 mile an hour residential zone.
That's how he lost control.
Yeah.
I think we figured it out.
There's a reason why it's 35 there it's because if you go 70 you might not be able to
keep control of your fucking vehicle you dumb shit don't go twice the speed limit they don't
stay on the road when you go that fast no it's real especially an rx7 those little fucking tiny
rx remember with the longer hood yeah that thing is going out of control like a bitch. So, yeah, the problem is
at the end of this road,
it's a dead end
that's like kind of a field.
And in this field,
it's known as the spot, okay,
to the local high school kids
because they hang out there.
Oh, no.
This is where the local
high school kids gather
and, you know, drink beers
and bullshit
and what are we going to do tonight?
Every fucking town has a spot where groups of kids congregate, sit on their cars and decide that they're going to go sit in the Denny's parking lot for an hour.
And they're going to go over here.
You know what I mean?
That's what it is.
Where they contemplate the next place they're going to loiter and go sit.
Yeah.
Are we going to go sit and smoke next?
Perfect.
Great.
Can I get hash browns there even better
love to fucking go there there's no hash browns here so let's go there let's go there when they're
done at denny's they're like i hop cool let's go there i guess they'll let us smoke for a long time
right sure you can just buy coffee and if you order some mozzarella sticks they have to let
us sit we're not loitering you can order an 85 cent coffee back then and smoke. If you order some mozzarella sticks, they have to let us sit. We're not loitering.
You can order an 85-cent coffee back then, and they'd let you sit there for the rest of the day.
And smoke.
You could move in.
You could just smoke three packs of cigarettes and move your grandmother in her hospital bed next to the table.
Refills on that coffee all day.
Keep them coming.
Keep them coming, sweetheart.
85 cents. I got two packs left. i'm gonna smoke them i'm planning on it uh so uh at the spot this particular evening there was a crowd
of about 30 people 30 young people hanging out of uh hanging out there uh kimball's car is out of control and plows through all of it oh my god at 75 miles an hour is what
they estimated uh while he was going through this uh the trail he left is a 380 feet from the
beginning to the stop of it uh at the when they got to the grass with his foot on the brake the whole time 380 feet of going through a
crowd yeah basically uh this is glass fucking i mean you name it it's it's a think about it's a
cannonball right sending it through a thing like that no hash browns uh no hash browns on the other
end of this party here uh this uh uh two uh young men here are robertell and Kevin Gossick.
Bedell is 19 years old.
Kevin is 16 years old,
are killed at the scene,
are fucking killed by this shit.
An 18-year-old girl's leg is crushed
to the point where it needs to be amputated.
Oh, my God.
And a 16-year-old boy's leg is hanging off
and needs to be reattached.
Four other people are injured in this mess as well, as well as untold damage.
Untold damage.
It looked like it looked like, well, the sheriff that came, Ken Garrison of the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office said, quote, The last time I saw anything that looked like this was in Vietnam.
That's the kind of scene it was.
Just carnage.
Yeah.
Fucking carnage, man.age man scattered because i mean kids
were scattered dead bodies james dead literally dead kids someone's leg is hanging on this is
insanity and it was just a quiet street they're drinking at night hanging out you know they're
hanging out at night the kids tipping back a beer or whatever and just out of nowhere here comes this
car there's no way to get out of the way You don't expect this guy to drive 75 miles an hour.
It's not like he can't see that that's not a road.
Right.
So it's, yeah, the witnesses said some of the kids were like sitting on car hoods and
some of them were standing around, just, you know, all that.
Oh, God, I could see it already.
Yeah.
They lost a leg.
And they looked and, yeah, crushed against the car.
Oh, Jesus.
how they lost a leg and they looked and yeah crushed against the car jesus um they also said they they said that the car sped up around the corner and when it came so it was he actually
hit the gas going around the corner and then lost control they said that uh there there was sparks
flying from the grinding metal and so there were sparks and people and blood and it was like uh
about as traumatic a thing as you could imagine i'm sure uh bodies
being tossed all over the place because some people were tossed and not hurt yeah like because
that happens too like you know you're sometimes you get lucky uh one of the witnesses said quote
i just knew the car wasn't going to stop the situation was complete panic i was freaking out
yeah i guess so uh one of the kids here raymond kirker, who's 16, was listed in fair condition after surgeons reattached his leg.
That was basically severed in the accident.
They reattached it.
Kimball and both of his passengers, who are Colleen Cokie Smith, who is also a diver, and his fiancee and his friend here were unhurt.
They were fine.
Yeah, what the fuck?
They just plowed into a bunch of people.
That doesn't hurt at all.
So now think about this scene.
Think about you plow in all these people.
And when the car finally comes to a stop,
yeah.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
Now you have to get out and you look,
you see what's going on.
I mean,
you have left a trail and they're screaming and fucking carnage.
You have to feel, I don't know. I don't even know what I can't even imagine what that would feel like.
So he got out of the car and all the all the witnesses said he did this, got out of the car and looked around, fell to his knees and pounded his fists against the ground and was sobbing let's do it in their own words
what are you sobbing it's a very short one yeah but it's very tight so you need it in their own
words let's do this uh holy shit this is uh this is incredible here in their own words quote why me
why me why did this have to happen to me oh no you mean the end of it why me wow me yeah they're
people with their legs are hanging off there's two dead bodies two dead but not to mention if
anybody would fucking understand being on the other end of this that might be able to empathize
maybe it's this asshole like can you how much irony can you fucking have like i mean it did happen to you
once you almost yeah it's the exact same thing now you're doing to somebody else how could you
and then yeah behind the wheel doesn't that make your brain just fucking start smoking a little
and melting and shit where you're like what what the fuck is happening why me why me uh the police show up obviously they smell alcohol on his breath
not great uh they search his car and found eight empty beer cans in there so um for three people
and they came from a party he said uh to the cops he admits to them that he'd been drinking on and
off for about six hours uh but said he wasn't intoxicated
he goes yeah i had a beer here beer there you know how it goes over the course of the day i'm not
drunk uh and he said i wasn't going anywhere near 70 miles an hour and i'm not drunk uh problem is
the science and the skids and all that said i'm going about 75 miles an hour and uh the blood
alcohol test registers a 0.20 which is really fucking drunk.
It's hammered.
That's not even a little drunk.
That's more than twice the legal limit nowadays.
He's drinking hard.
Yeah, you're fucked up, and you shouldn't be driving.
You especially shouldn't be driving 70 miles an hour through a residential neighborhood.
Yeah, now, people who knew him and knew the divers said that they were all kind of notorious for being big drinkers and big partiers.
All the Olympians are, man.
Yeah.
And it's amazing, too, because they're so young and in such great shape.
When you're an athlete of that caliber, you can fuck your body up one night and it will bounce right back.
They're in such amazing shape.
You can party and it doesn't really affect you until you're 30.
Right.
Well, it'll come around.
It'll come around.
It's not yet.
When you're a 22-year-old world-class athlete, you can get away with a lot with your body, man.
And you can make it bounce back one day of working out and you'll be great.
Right.
And you understand your body and what affects it more than just about anybody.
Which is shocking that they can get themselves this goddamn drunk. Yeah.
Knowing full well what this amount of alcohol is going to do to them.
He knows and he knows he shouldn't be behind the wheel and he's a fucking 135 pounds too.
How much can you put away?
Oh God.
So, uh, one of his old friends said, quote, I don't know why his father didn't check him
into a detox long, a long time ago.
Why his father didn't, I don't know.
Cause he's an adult at this point.
He's 23 years old he can check himself into a fucking detox but i think he meant he means from his teen years
apparently bruce has been a notoriously huge party guy and drinker especially since then
absolutely and especially now not only is he drinking but for the last two and a half years
he's been or i'm sorry about four and a half years and from's been, or I'm sorry, about four and a half years
from 88, he's been hooked on the painkillers.
Oh no.
Hardcore after his accident.
Yeah.
That's, I mean, that's, that's how you get hooked on painkillers.
I mean, if you have an accident like that, you're going to be taking something for a
while.
Oh yeah.
Reconstructive face surgeries, fractured skull, crushed leg.
Bolts in your leg.
Lacerated liver.
Oh, that alone.
Yeah. I mean, fuck man. To put you back together it's gonna hurt so it's i know he was you know supposed to be on
heavy doses of this stuff for months and months and months but he couldn't get off of it so you
add drinking to this it's amazing he was able to do anything with the diving while he was drinking
and taking all these pills but that's that was a huge problem for him uh there now uh uh the kids who died obviously the the bedell uh young man there
his dad said quote he was an outgoing happy-go-lucky kid we were always proud of him but so
many people have told us things we didn't know about how he lightened up their lives those things
have carried us through that's the 19 year old by the way uh then he also
said the father quote his car ended up more than 300 feet from the point of impact 300 feet from
the point of impact kept going plowed through it this wasn't i'm almost to a stop and i hit you at
the last minute this was hit you and then i'm going to try to stop like i think that's what
made him try to stop was hitting people right Right. Like, oh, clink.
I better hit the brake.
Right.
Wow.
He got off the road and probably didn't even think about stopping yet.
No.
He probably was just like, we'll get back to the road in a little bit.
What's through this clearing?
Children.
Children.
Yeah.
Teenagers.
The father continued to say, the victim's father, quote,
Kimball and his friends had an eight-pack of beer in the car.
Eight-pack.
What?
They said they'd bought it hours earlier, but the only one that wasn't empty was still cold.
So basically, they were saying that they just bought it.
They just bought it because it's August in Florida.
Yeah, and they were hammering them.
It's August in Florida.
So yeah, they drank seven of them before the last one got cold or got warm in Florida in the summer.
That's weird.
I don't know about in the 80s in Florida.
Who knows?
So then he also goes on to say, quote, some people are asking what all those kids were doing out there.
It was a place that they got together regularly.
Rather than get shagged out of mall parking parking lots they would go to what they called the
spot they aren't druggies or drinkers it's only a half mile or so from our house it was where kids
could go and the cops wouldn't tell them to go away it's true when you're a teenager you're not
really allowed to gather anywhere anywhere even if you go five you go to a pizza place and order
some pizza the second you're done eating the slice is like they're trying to get the fuck out like
they you're not treated like a human being or like a customer yeah or like a real person that they care about your opinion but
what about that other statement there wish we had yelp when i was a teenager we would have
fucking we'd have ruined these we would have ruined every fuck they would have had to have
been nice to us oh yeah motherfucker phone over the goddamn i we will there's six of us have
another rant we will ruin we will lose you a whole star today you will be three stars by the end of this day motherfuckers stay
back friends who aren't even here back off say it too yeah i had told that i wish i could have told
that to the guy the why you wasted my cheese guy this pizza place in high school is this fat guy
who owned it and he should just sit there and stare at us while you eat you order like two
slices a piece he'd just sit there and stare at you the whole time.
Like, I don't know what he thought you'd do to the restaurant sitting in a booth eating a slice of pizza.
One time, my friend was, he just put some grated cheese on his pizza, and he put some on, and he like put a little drop more on, and the guy bursts out of his chair.
Like, you heard it like, fly back against the table.
And he goes, hey, guy, why are you wasting my cheese, guy? Friend against the table and he goes hey guy why are you
wasting my cheese guy frank goes what he goes you wasted my cheese i'm i'm eating it because i'm
just gonna put it on the pizza like he didn't know how to react to it because it was so crazy
hey guy why are you wasting my cheese well because i'm gonna yelp review the fuck out of this right
now man great pizza uh not a lot of cheese in the restaurant.
Less Parmesan sprinkle than I would like.
Jesus Christ.
The other quote that they said about this area, though.
He said, what did they say?
The very first part there?
He said something like.
It's a place they all got together regularly.
They didn't expect what?
What do you mean?
It said that you wouldn't expect them to be there or something like that?
No, not at all.
The kid who was there said he knew the car wasn't going to stop.
Right.
Yeah, that's it.
It doesn't matter now.
Yeah.
But you said something like it's a place where they wouldn't expect to be caught there or whatever.
No, it's a place where they won't be bothered, basically.
It's a spot in a neighborhood where...
That's what it is.
It's a place you don't expect a fucking car
to go 70 miles an hour.
A car to plow into you,
or cops to bother you,
or anything like that.
You can't fault them for being there.
No!
You can't fault a car for being there
where there's no fucking road.
Either way, there was no road there.
It's a bunch of people.
They weren't sitting in the road
of a 70 mile an hour...
Yeah, suppose there was a bunch of elderly people
having a neighborhood watch meeting at the corner would that about would that have been better
for you would you have felt more bad for them then if they were there who cares what the fuck
they were there for yeah they weren't they weren't there like running a fucking heroin spot or
anything it doesn't matter so uh yeah he uh he's the father goes on to say one of the boys had a
leg almost severed but reattached he's a soccer player who won't on to say one of the boys had a leg almost severed, but reattached.
He's a soccer player who won't ever play again.
One of the girls lost a leg.
She was real active in aerobics and track.
Oof.
Then he's talking about his son, Robbie, the dead.
This is the kid who died.
Robbie was a three year letterman in baseball at Brandon High School.
He lettered once in basketball.
He just finished his freshman year at the University of South Florida.
He had a summer job as a waiter. The night
of the accident, he got off work a little early.
He and his friend went out to the spot.
He was just saying his see you laters
when he was hit. So he was just leaving.
So then he got hit. So that's
what happened there. So you got to make
those people real people and not just
teenagers flying through the air.
So that's who the real person is, a person with a life.
And it sucks, you know.
I'll bet the majority of those injuries were them standing between a 70 mile an hour car and their car.
Yeah.
Hitting the side.
Yeah.
Sparks.
That's fucked up.
That's real fucked up.
Bruce is charged with vehicular homicide.
Yeah.
But he's let out on bail.
What?
He's out on bail.
No problem.
He tells the press, his family does, that he's in seclusion in his home,
or in seclusion near his father's diving camp in Brandon, Florida.
Yeah, he said that basically there's an unfounded rumor at the time
that he wasn't showing any remorse and was back diving again at the Brandon Swim and Tennis Club.
Basically, the day after the accident, after he posted $10,000 bond to dead people, $10,000.
Unbelievable.
Not enough.
That's ridiculous.
But his lawyer said, no, no, no.
He's so distraught.
He hasn't even been able to eat or sleep.
He's in terrible shape.
So then the next thing he can do is drink. All you can do. I mean, he's so distraught he hasn't even been able to eat or sleep. He's in terrible shape. All he can do is drink.
All he can do, I mean, he's putting back.
We've put a few back.
It's a tough time for him.
This is what booze is for.
Two, three, eight packs.
This is it.
The next day, August 3rd, they come up to, they talk about, well, is he still eligible for the Olympics this year?
They're still talking about the Olympics.
This is what they say about that.
This is U.S. Diving released this.
Quote, I'm saddened by the news and feel terrible for the families involved.
Regarding Bruce's situation as it applies to U.S. Diving,
the accident at this point has no effect on his eligibility for the Olympic trials.
Unbelievable.
None.
If he took two hits of weed a week before he took a drug test
completely ineligible but you want to plow through a field full of teenagers you know what get up on
that board chief wow so they say he's allowed to if he wants to but i mean what kind of an asshole
would go to olympic trials and try to fucking do this uh well on august 15th 1988 yeah he is on the 10 meter platform competing at
the 1988 olympic trials 14 days after murdering two children two weeks after killing two babies
uh wow in indianapolis this is huge there's big protests mothers against drunk driving is there
huge protests he's fucking diving anyway he just misses the cut and fails to make the team
thankfully for the u.s team because what would they have done oh my god you can't have that you
can't have that but you also if he made the team when he's but you shouldn't let him do the trials
because that would have fucked you if he made it so uh yeah this is how clueless he is okay there's
that in addition to that in december 1988 he's out of jail awaiting
a trial for vehicular manslaughter for being an asshole okay so you would think he's going to try
to really button it up fucking tight here he instead faces charges uh when he was reprimanded
for throwing toilet paper and a plastic container at a policeman during the celebration that followed a Michigan football game win.
What?
He's throwing shit at a cop.
At the Michigan football game?
I don't want to see you celebrate shit, number one.
Number two, not at a football game.
Number three, that cop should have caved in your soft spot with his fucking nightstick.
I'd have said Christmas bonus for that cop for doing that shit.
Are you kidding me?
Unbelievable.
What a fucking asshole.
His teammate here, ex-teammate, a guy, Kent Ferguson, he said,
athletes sometimes think they're invincible, especially thrill-seeking athletes such as divers.
We talked about skiers with Nick Conant and all that.
We knew Bruce.
We all wanted to help him, but you can't help a person until he decides that he wants to be helped this is for a point this is fucking crazy he's a crazy person now the arrogance is
beyond i made a mistake one night this is he's never gonna ask for help no because he's perfect
in his own eyes in his eyes he's great he has to be perfect he must be perfect he's him it's this
is it's insane honestly he's crazy the whole's crazy. But not as crazy as the sales, Jimmy.
Oh, the sales.
Oh, Michigan sales.
Oh, Michigan sales.
If you happen to be in Michigan, in Ann Arbor, in 1988, we have got some sales for you.
Number one, get on down.
This electronics store looks amazing you can get you a forehead double uh forehead vhs
recorded vcr here uh with remote control for only 347 dollars holy shit you'll never figure
out how to program it a cd player uh this is a multi-disc one it's a very five try three try this is a six wow this is crazy this is like one
big stuff here uh 249 dollars a cd player cd player multi-disc is cheaper than a vhs vhs yeah
the forehead vcrs used to be very expensive hot shit a 13 inch rca TV. This is a tube TV. It weighs 300 pounds,
and it's the size of a fucking box of cereal, basically.
Is it $2 a pound?
It is $197 for that pile of shit.
19-inch with remote control, 237.
25-inch, 397.
26-inch, the big screen, as they're calling it here.
26.
26, literally the big screen, as they're calling it here 26 they're literally the big screen
427 dollars so not bad see the jvc ones what if you want to get a tv vcr combo these are new at
the time 20 inch tv vcr combo 450 dollars are you out of your fucking mind that's that's rent 27 inch with a vcr 8 49 95 you rich
motherfucker fuck out of here with that shit holy balls you got to be kidding me here i found uh
fisher what is this a amfm receiver 250 bucks okay and then the a deluxe audio file cd player from phillips it's got a
fucking track multiple all this shit 699.95 for a cd player wow is that like the component piece
that goes with the stereo it's it's a freestanding four times over sampling.
No.
No.
It's just a player.
It's just a player.
You've got to plug that shit into the receiver and then have those giant towers.
This is nothing.
That thing is how much?
That's $699.95.
Wow.
On sale from $999.
Fuck you.
That thing would, I don't even know, 785 track lifetime programmable memory like you're
gonna program fucking 800 songs into your cd player who has who the fuck had ever had time
to do that anyway thousand dollars thousand dollars in 1988 i gotta go out and make more
money jesus i just spent four months of mortgage on my goddamn CD player.
Wow.
So that's what's going on there.
January 11th, 1989.
Jurors are being chosen for the trial.
At this point, it is now a manslaughter trial.
They're doing vehicular manslaughter instead of vehicular homicide.
And yeah, he's one of the jurors here says when they're questioning him that his daughter is the president of Students Against Drunk Driving at her school.
That's not good.
But he did say that he would he would be able to take all that out of his mind and be able to give a fair blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
He's a he's a postal worker and an Air Force former Air Force sergeant.
This guy.
So he's like, I'm a pretty straight shooter here.
I think I can do it.
They're now in court.
This is two counts of drunk driving, a vehicular manslaughter, three counts of driving under the influence causing serious injury.
These are heavy charges.
So testimony begins.
And after a little while in the courtroom, kimball's attorneys ask for a recess and they're recessed for about 30 minutes and when they come back the and they may have an
announcement to make that bruce has decided to plead guilty i'd like to i'd like to not deal
with this again bruce has changed his mind i don't want to hear the story of what i did
i killed two people it's bad enough it's pretty bad i have to
look at that car it's still still haven't gotten i just sobered up it's still shimmies and now i
just realized that there's two people dead uh yeah so he decides to plead guilty but then the next
two days later he's actually changes his his plea from guilty to no contest because that makes it
somehow the no contest legally the no contest
plea makes it easier for the victims to collect from his insurance company okay then a guilty
plea is a different thing for some reason i don't know why but that was the guilty probably forces
your insurance company to sue you or forces them to sue him i'm not sure but the no contest i don't
know about 80s florida insurance law but the no contest plea is apparently a nod to the victims, allegedly, to try to make it easier for them.
So this is a way for him to get as little a sentence as possible.
Basically, I'll do anything to make their lives easier here.
Now, one of his attorneys, Lee Fugate, hair, a fucking bright flaming silver tinfoil, tinfoil head.
wear a fucking bright flaming silver tinfoil tinfoil head this guy is here he says quote bruce's only reaction was he wanted to take his punishment and he wanted to do what he could to
take away the pain and suffering from the victims and his family he's a courageous kid i'll tell you
that boy he's in court for he's a courageous kid yeah he wants to do the right thing after he did
everything wrong and has no choice he's a courageous kid i tell you what the fuck does that mean real brave kid courage that's so
he's fucked and he's backed into a corner they do call it liquid courage i would maybe that's what
it is uh so the sentencing guidelines here uh a call for a minimum of seven years in prison
with a maximum of 22 years in prison yeah a maximum of 22 years in prison so pretty good
fucking swing in there and either way a hefty jail sentence so he's uh he's free on bond uh he says
that uh basically that when he was free on bond once they checked him into jail again they had to
check on him every 15 minutes because his attorneys were concerned about self-destructive behavior for him uh so he's no contest and uh that's that so sentencing comes around he's guilty or he's no
no contested yeah we'll say no contestant no contestant is what he is his fiancee colleen
smith wrote a letter to the judge here by the way you're gonna like her a lot less very soon
wrote a letter to the letter to the writer wrote a letter wrote a letter to the judge uh harry lee coe the third who was the
judge he wrote a letter saying quote i always got the impression from his silence that he was a
self-centered uh conceited super athlete it became apparent to me that he was really uh really very
quiet very modest and downright shy I'm trying to say
this aloof thing that you guys see
that's not really he's just shy
right he's just a you can
tell he's so shy he's just a real shy
guy takes booze to get him out of his shell
a shitload of it shitloads of then he can
climb a tower right in front of everybody
and stand alone with his underwear right
in his speedos and leap to the
fucking pool but amazing
tricks very shy otherwise jesus christ stands on a podium uh beneath greg luganis yeah and just i
don't understand so he uh he remains silent during the hearing but his attorney uh handed the judge
a letter that he wrote to the court uh the judge just read it to himself, and it wasn't released to the public.
Did he chuckle?
There, I think he did.
He was like, this fucking guy.
He was dressed.
Here's a two-and-a-half-hour hearing.
The judge said that, basically, he hopes that his sentence, quote,
will scream out to the young people that you must suffer the consequences of drunk driving.
We must stop it.
You, sir, may fuck off 17 years in prison and then 15 years probation after that.
32 years of shit.
He fucking banged him good.
Yeah.
And then he said, too, later on we'll hear, he was going to give him the maximum.
Really?
Yeah.
22?
He fucking hated this guy. He did not like Bruce Kimball, this judge, at all. He was not jacked about his letter. later on we'll hear he was going to give him the maximum really yeah like he was 22 he fucking
hated this he did not like bruce kimball this judge at all not jacked about his letter no uh
will you let me free check yes or no would you like to have tell you what let's talk about it
over some drinks he's like i'll drive what i'm buying i'll drive i'm buying pick you up at eight
wait a second this kid's an asshole i'm buying'm buying and flying. Get in. And flying. Come on.
I don't like the way the judge worded that, though.
Kids will suffer the consequence.
They did, Judge.
Oh, boy, did they.
You must suffer the consequences.
We'll scream out to young people that you must suffer the consequences of drunk driving,
which some kids already did.
Right.
At least four.
We must stop it.
This is sentencing.
It's 15 years on one count of manslaughter and two years on one count of driving under the influence causing serious injuries.
And the sentences will run consecutively, giving 17 years.
That was the deal.
They dropped from two counts to one and blah, blah, blah.
So he also, the judge, orders permanent revocation of Bruce's driver's license.
Seems like a good idea at this point.
He was an asshole before that.
He lost it for a year sober.
Continues to be an asshole.
Yeah, before he killed anybody.
And also stipulated that he had to do community service and all sorts of shit like that.
He said during sentencing, Judge Coe, that Kimball did not receive the maximum penalty, quote,
because the defense demonstrated no element of intent and harm in the case.
He also said, quote, this was not only punishment, but a deterrent.
He wasn't going to be rehabilitated.
He was as rehabilitated as he ever would be.
Like, he was fine, and he's an asshole, basically.
He wasn't, like, at the end of a terrible road.
He's a dick.
So after the sentencing he
talks with his parents and his friends there and uh sits in the courtroom crying and then he is
taken away to uh to prison basically and they say though uh that press people say that because of
his lack of criminal history that he'll probably eventually be put in a lower security facility
they'll they'll run him down through the ranks.
He's not really like a...
He's not a security risk.
He's not going to make shanks and start stabbing guards, probably.
He's just not that kind of guy.
Given time and a system where...
If you give him prison time in a mop bucket,
he could take some shit out.
Prison wine in a mop bucket,
he might fucking careen into a few things.
Other than that
he's gonna be pretty safe in there uh under the florida law he must serve at least one third of
his sentence before becoming eligible for release so he won't be eligible for more than five years
uh the florida legal system at this point prisoners are not eligible for parole but they can receive
early release at the discretion of prison officials. That's how Florida worked. Remember, they add up their time and all that shit.
We've covered this before.
Coe said that the judge, most prisoners, except those who commit violent crimes, sex crimes or drug trafficking, will serve 33 percent to 40 percent of their sentences, basically, before being released.
Coe said that many are released early because of the federally mandated prison cap, stating that when Florida facilities reach 90 percent capacity, their populations must be reduced to keep it from a major.
That way, in case there was like a major civil uprising, you'd have room for people to fucking put them in there.
You need 10 percent leeway space.
So the his attorney, this is a.
So, wow.
Get your buckle, your silver belts up here for this one.
Quote, this guy has been a media event.
If it had been anyone else but Bruce Kimball,
it wouldn't have been such a harsh sentence.
Okay?
Oh, boy.
He got 17 years.
Part of the reason is because who he was
and what the case had become.
By competing in trials, it hurt him.
I don't know.
So he's saying that it was worse that he's famous than an athlete.
No.
We've covered a lot on this show.
Yeah.
You definitely get a benefit.
Yeah.
It's not, once in a blue,
a guy will be like,
I'm going to make an example out of you,
but way more often,
they just get let off with shit.
That lawyer forgets the part
where two fucking people are dead.
That's the thing they don't understand.
And two legs, one leg for sure gone,
one almost gone.
Yeah, that's...
Lives are ruined.
There's some frustrating shit here.
So then there's a lawsuit here.
Several civil suits filed against Kimball, obviously.
And that's why he changed his plea to no contest,
out of fear that two insurance companies might evade liability
if they could prove he violated conditions of his policy.
So that's what it was.
If he pleaded no contest, it's not the same as guilty legally.
So insurance wouldn't be able to skirt out of it.
So an attorney said, quote,
a guilty plea could possibly do that, screw them out of that.
I have no indication either company would do so.
We would like to remove that possibility.
An assistant state attorney said the relatives of the victims opposed the no contest plea,
despite the possibility that insurance companies might be freed of liability for a guilty plea.
They still wanted him to be guilty.
Yeah, because then it's easy.
They can sue him and there's judgments against him.
No problem.
So the judge said, but you can get money from an insurance company.
Judge said, quote, from a practical standpoint, there's going to be no problem on proving liability.
The no contest just buffers your position.
It doesn't alter in any way what's going to be proved.
And then he says, I'm going to allow the no contest, please.
In deference to the victims, I do not think it was wise to run the run the risk on this.
It's somewhat a fine print, but I don't see but I don't see that the risk is merited so that's why the judge allowed the no contest plea
uh now the one of the fathers the guy who uh bedell's father who we've talked to before
he urged the judge to impose maximum sentencing he said quote mr kimball chose to drink and drive
and then maim and kill wow that's wow i would say so he said
up until the last minute he really didn't consider us we were prepared to sit through the trial i
don't think he could face up to it himself he uh he said he was changing his plea to protect the
victims but he was protecting himself too i don't see any real remorse throughout this whole thing
it's always been business as usual for him so the uh yeah they're
not they're not real fucking thrilled with kimball and they're not they're not buying his compassionate
bullshit thing here uh one of the other mothers whose son uh had to have his leg reattached here
she said quote uh it's just a tragedy for everyone concerned we're glad it's over it's a hard thing
to deal with but drinking and driving has got to stop. I think this case will help stop it.
Well, guess what?
It hasn't.
No.
No difference.
Not even a little bit.
No difference.
It did make lower limits, probably, and stiffer jail sentences.
But people still drink and drive.
People still die from it.
They still die from it.
Uber helps.
Yeah.
That's a helpful one.
It's convenient.
It's convenient.
But still, people do it.
People already...
That's all it is, is that there needs to be a, I mean, obviously there needs to be forethought
and just caring about other people.
A lot of people just won't leave their car somewhere, period.
Right.
That's it.
The benefit is what was needed was a low-cost alternative because taxi cabs were fucking
crazy.
A lot of people couldn't afford them.
So they'd be like, well, I'll risk it.
I got to take a chance.
And then plow into a group of teenagers.
Wow.
Uber has changed the game.
It really has.
It's helped a lot for that kind of shit.
She also says the mother, Kimball, when he is out, will help people understand.
Something good is going to come out of this, hopefully.
People will kind of wake up.
Bruce is going to have a lot to cope with.
We have got to heal, but he has to live with what he did for the rest of his life
so that's the mother's at least she seems nice um yeah the uh raymond kirker who played soccer
there he had four pins holding his bones together there um the mother said quote it looks like a
shark took a big chunk out of his leg but he'll be walking again soon he's not the type to sit
around he's going to get back and do as much as he can jesus christ man um the florida chapter for mothers against drunk driving who is a guy named ron
that's it that's the mother the yeah the head mother against drunk driving is a man named ron
go tell him ron so listen ladies i understand you ladies. I understand you're upset.
I understand you're upset.
Let's all gather up.
Let's not get your panties in a bunch.
Let's put the Lifetime Network on or whatever you ladies are into.
Read one of your red books or one of them fucking things.
I don't know.
I know how you all get.
They're not going to listen to you and take you seriously.
Listen, exchange recipes.
I'll tell them all what you're thinking.
We're mad, drunk, and blah, blah, blah.
I got it.
Don't worry about it.
There's people drinking and driving and you're mad about it we got it organize a bake sale or
something sweetheart i got this that's me ron i'll take care of this ron's got this honey
what the fuck over here or is it captain ron i hope i would love it to be captain ron well
cat and ron says quote president r says, although nothing will undo the violent
devastation these families must face, Bruce Kimball must answer for his irresponsible and
criminal behavior. Kimball's insurance companies end up paying out one point three million to five
of the seriously injured victims there. His mother, Gail, told reporters about his sentence
that that it was a, quote, stern and and stiff sentence but she believes her son will deal
with it she says quote bruce has surmounted odds before and i believe very strongly that he will
turn this around and that he will do his best to cope with this and not only cope with it but turn
it into something where he can restructure his life in a manner that benefits other people
okay i don't know how you rebuild your life from that that should be end that's the end of your
fucking life you should be miserable with yourself That's the end of your fucking life.
You should be miserable with yourself.
His defense attorney said that they were all upset with the length of the sentence.
He says, quote, they had hoped the judge would allow a much shorter prison term and then
requirements that Bruce share with the public his experiences to inspire others not to drink
and drive and have the guts to rehabilitate themselves after an accident.
He's someone who can tell both sides of the equation.
Sure, when he gets out of prison for fucking killing two kids, stupid.
Jesus.
He's a guy that knows both sides of the equation.
That's not positive.
No, that's how stupid he is.
He knew it and did it anyway.
He goes, wow, you know what's terrible?
When someone fucking plows into you while they're shit-faced. And then he knew it and did it anyway he goes wow you know it's terrible when someone fucking plows
into you while they're shit-faced and then he does it this is what i mean this is the most ironic
right episode ever should never happen in that in that fashion either i can see it happening where
you drink and drive and then you vow to never do it again then somebody gets you then gets you
sam kinnison yes never this it's not this is awful this is this is the worst this is the worst form
of assholery here and then go fuck it my turn you know what hey what do i got to lose uh
i happen to me right i'm fine i'm it's like it's like a dad getting right yeah look at me i turned
out all right i turned out all right didn't i take your pants off no you just told the child
to take their pants off you didn't do it right at all gail kimball his mom on the courthouse steps said quote i want to let everyone
know how very sorry all of us are for this and all the pain and suffering everyone involved
has had to go through uh yeah he's she said i think it's a very stern sentence but i'm not
in the judge's shoes and then the father dick we haven't heard much from him out of this oh what's he said he said
quote i'm extremely proud of bruce not today what don't say that now no any other time in his life
except today you should have said that at the olympics not today i'm extremely ashamed of bruce
that's what he should have said we'll be 100 behind him uh the judge said that he initially
expected to give kimball the maximum sentence
but he gave him he gave kimball quote consideration for throwing himself on the mercy of the court
now let's talk about his fiancee who is a got a touch of the asshole in her here let's talk about
her uh old cokie is her nickname yeah uh cokie smith here she tried out for the 88 olympic team three weeks after the accident
same time at the trials uh there and this was uh so she was there with him through all this shit
this was a bunch of the victims families friends and shit had come to the event with t-shirts
reading remember the victims and chanting shit at bruce kimball as he dives off a fire and his girlfriend too because
she was in the car right so everybody uh neither of them made the team a little distracted yeah
it's hard to make the olympic team while you're distracted that takes a hundred percent focus
she's like somebody just call me a cunt yeah i think i heard cunt from the like from an old lady
too that was the thing yeah filthy grandma jesus grandma calm down whacked my face on the pool
so they were all there chanting and remember the victims t-shirts and protesting what does uh
colleen cokey smith say about this quote that was so uncalled for what says of the behavior of the
victims friends quote i will never ever forget the pain these people went through and i really feel for them but if you want to talk about who took it more responsibly and in a more adult
way it was bruce wow who took it more responsibly hold on a second bruce handled killing people
better than people handled having their loved ones killed is that what she just said that's
exactly she acted like we're all in this together.
Everyone had the exact same experience.
Bruce has moved on.
These people can't get there.
Can't get over.
That's what she acted like.
Are you fucking serious?
Bruce handled killing people.
In a more adult.
More responsibly.
And in a more adult way.
It was Bruce.
What a...
Are you serious?
Unbelievable.
Holy fucking shit.
That is...
I wouldn't say...
That's not even silver, man.
You preface that that she had a touch of the asshole.
She's all asshole.
She is a giant silver asshole.
Like, we've never heard Dana White white say something that fucking bad and he is
literally the antichrist well we never even heard him say that right vince mcmahon would go jesus
you don't say that in public good god bitch i get it you say it at home in the living room
but not in public jesus there's an image you have to put out good god jesus look at you so uh yeah for jesus christ then once he's
in prison uh she starts giving more fucking quotes don't give any quotes she said that uh
they asked her was uh you know was the accident sidetracked your dream here of becoming an olympic
athlete and you know do you ever want to dive again or anything like that she said quote that thought crossed my mind during the olympics but i didn't dwell on it
i figured if it wasn't meant to be it wouldn't happen uh then she takes a left turn sorry to
use that because wow okay she talks about the accident brings it up she's pissed about it
not pissed at bruce no no no they shouldn't have
been there she recalls finding out that the police had been called out earlier by some neighbors to
clear out the kids out of the dead end street about an hour before the accident they shouldn't
have been there but they didn't so it's their fault she's a she literally says quote this is
about the police and the children, quote, no responsibility
was taken on their part, but he was the out-of-towner, the Olympic star, and he was going to be
the example, and that was that.
I don't understand it, and I don't think I ever will.
You fucking twat.
You filthy, stinking, fucking rancid, malignant cunt.
Fuck you.
You stupid asshole.
Are you kidding me?
That's like driving a car through a living room and being like, they shouldn't have been watching Price is Right.
I mean, they were fucking, it's like midnight.
Go to bed already.
You know what I'm saying?
Go to bed after Jeopardy.
Make your wall sticker.
Obviously, I can come plowing through it at any time.
Unbelievable.
It's their fault.
No responsibility.
It's all, I mean, because he was the out-of-town or Olympic star.
He's also the guy that plowed into them at 75 miles an hour while shit-faced.
That's why.
None of the cops did that part.
On not a road.
On not a fucking road.
What the shit, man?
What is she talking about?
She said that to a fucking guy with a pet like
there was a tape recording and he had a pen weren't working and she was like get this part down that's
a chick that's uh super frustrated that she can't see her man also that's somebody who was a world
class athlete who thinks they're better than everybody and i don't literally if those kids
would have gotten out of our way we could have just plowed through wherever we do, because it's obviously our path that matters.
They shouldn't be in our fucking way.
It's the most fucking athlete.
I'm good now.
Bullshit.
Fucking crime and sports shit I've ever heard in my life.
She's a monster.
Yeah.
She says that she gives credit for her strength to dick kimball
who is also uh you know her coach in diving she says quote i'm a firm believer in the saying that
god never gives you more than you can handle okay she hasn't given you anything to handle you're
fine you're fucking fine you're not in jail your kids aren't dead or injured you have both your
legs none of this shit is you're fine you were uninjured entirely
yeah that's it but she said that uh she was going to make the u.s world diving team after that
she says quote a little a little bit of me dies for bruce every day but at the same time i have
to put him aside and move on same time fuck him uh then uh she says quote for anyone to think that
bruce didn't show any remorse for what
happened is a very unfair thing.
Bruce has taken responsibility for this and he does feel horrible.
Great.
Oh, good.
That helps.
I hope it feels worse.
So, well, let's find out.
He's in prison.
His first night in prison, somebody stole his shoes.
Oh, now he's barefoot.
So for the entire rest of the time he's in prison, he slept with his shoes on.
Really?
He never takes his shoes off for the next three years, basically.
Oh, he says his shoes on.
Yeah.
He's sitting there.
He has to.
He has to do that.
Even like outside, they'll say like he likes to sit in the middle of a field.
Yeah.
So he can see everything around him.
So you can see all sides coming.
It has like, if some people are coming, it's going to be 40 feet before they get to him.
He's got head start, basically.
Like, he is not, he's a little guy.
He doesn't come from a background of like.
That's a great point.
He's a little white collar guy stuck in this shit.
And he's famous.
And he's a target, basically, is what he's looking at.
So he is very fucking scared.
He sits in this field
yeah looking around imagine that sitting like oh come from the back who's back there who's back
there i'm getting my shoes on i can run my shoes are tight i tied them tied them tight double knots
so he's sitting there one day man and he is just fucking ultra paranoid and then he you know it's
usual things going on these guys are lifting weights and there's like basketball games people are yelling at each other and fighting guards are
yelling at people then he hears something he usually doesn't hear those are dogs barking
just dogs coming from everywhere barking and barking he goes what the fuck is that what is
that then he sees coming from 40 feet away it's bobby colorado and he says... How is it you come to arrive here?
Look at you.
Look at you.
Look at you sitting in this fucking chair in the middle of a field like a fucking mook.
Look at you.
You were a fucking champion.
You're up there with fucking A.D. McGee over there diving off of shit.
I don't know.
You're pretty fucking famous.
You come in here, you're a jerk off.
Look at you.
How many beers
you have that night?
All right.
It wasn't good beer either,
was it?
No.
You had a bunch of,
she had like three Bud Lights
and you were like,
hey, let's get more.
A fucking eight pack?
An eight pack.
You didn't even get a 12 pack.
You're like,
hey, eight's fine.
There's three of us.
She's kind of light.
Me and you will split.
We'll have three a piece.
She can have two.
It's fine.
You know what I mean?
I'm 5'7".
Get the fuck out of here.
Don't you need,
this whole thing
could have been avoided.
You're drinking and partying and girls and all this
get yourself a nice
fucking dog
that's all you need
don't take him in the car
with you though please
leave him at home
please
that's one thing
if you gotta go to the vet
call a taxi
dog seatbelts
really this is a tough thing
but get yourself a nice dog
you know maybe that'll get
and then other prisoners
started coming up
and poof
in a puff of dog shit
in marinara sauce he's gone
bruce is very paranoid now where's the goddamn dogs they think he's crazy they give him a psych
eval you know how it goes here so uh well my shoes my shoes these are my shoes so while he's in
prison he completes a substance abuse rehab program and earns a sentence reduction under the Florida Controlled Release Program for Nonviolent Offenders Act.
He worked at a prison library and tutored inmates as well.
He also worked construction, helping to rebuild homes destroyed by Hurricane Andrew.
The prison had dispatched prisoners to do that when he was in low security toward the end here.
He also, this is my favorite fucking thing in the world,
worlds colliding almost 200 episodes apart.
He makes public service announcement videos
to tell about the dangers of drugs and alcohol
with who?
Who is he doing?
And he also goes around and speaks at schools
paired with a particular person from the videos.
Eddie fucking Johnson. Fast Eddie Johnson. he do and he also goes around and speaks at schools paired with a particular person from the videos eddie fucking johnson fast eddie johnson arrested a hundred times and finally for the last crime sentenced to mandatory life in prison for one of the most horrible things i've ever heard a human
being do to another human being uh listen to that episode if you haven't yet back in the day fast
eddie johnson he's upset he's as the crime and sports record for most arrests yeah and he's a he was arrested over a hundred times and ruined somebody else's
life along the way i mean somebody that had nothing to do with it oh not even a just a man
who had the same same name same name we should redo eddie johnson and give it a little more time
because we had to really cram that shit in there. Yeah, I would say so. That it deserves. So if I said another,
if I gave you the first half of this episode
and then I said,
there's going to be another crime and sports alum
that he's going to have to hang out with and stuff,
the last fucking person you would have thought
would be Eddie Johnson,
of all people here.
So post-prison plans,
he's had extensive drug and alcohol rehab
and counseling in four Florida institutions, all of this from maximum to minimum security.
He says he plans to begin a new life in Illinois with his girlfriend, a girlfriend while he was in prison, a woman named Val, and the help of her father, who's a prominent attorney, and will help him.
He plans to finish his undergraduate work and also may seek a career in drug and
alcohol abuse counseling that's what he says uh he's transferred from the spectrum house in miami
to another place a halfway house to to get out here and uh olympic diving coach ron o'brien
gave kimball a job as fort lauderdale diving team junior olympics assistant so he worked with divers
age 6 to 16 just a couple years ago he'd be plowing into them with a car going 75 miles an
hour now he's teaching them to dive look at this full circle he uh he worked as a coach and a and
in a swimwear mail order department uh at the international swimming hall of fame since june uh yeah so he said though that
he wanted to uh he he's best thing was he would like to teach kids how to dive is what he said
he uh when he gets out he is uh offered a job for when he gets out as the summer camp director of
the some fort lauderdale youth thing i don't know his friend offered it to him they uh
they said the parents said that he has a knack for teaching the children and uh they said they've
never got a complaint about him from the kids oh yeah i know four kids that would have a lot of
yeah a lot of complaints about him it's hard to dive with one leg is that a problem
hard to dive when i can't breathe when i'm fucking dead yeah the guy who gave the job said quote the
last five years have been tough on him i don't think anyone will know how difficult it was
i want and then he says jesus christ i want private time with the kids i don't want to feel
like i'm being watched or scrutinized that sounds not great that sounds terrible don't say that
uh yeah so uh upon his release though like i, like I said, he moves to Illinois.
He's got a girlfriend.
He ends up getting married, and he'll eventually have some kids here.
That coach said that there's no question he's got a definite talent for coaching.
He's got a great ability to work with people, especially kids.
November 24, 1993, 6.15 a.m., He is released from a minimum security prison here and set free.
So that's that.
Less than five years of a 17-year sentence.
Wow.
Not too shabby.
Illinois officials will handle his probation, which is 15 years of community service as well.
Driver's license revoked for life.
Must report to his probation officer monthly.
And unless a judge consents he cannot
visit any place where alcoholic beverages are served wow so you can't go out to eat he can't
even go to the olive garden no he can't go to fucking applebee's this guy he is unless he gets
a special judge permission a special applebee's clearance my mom's 50th. It's at Apple. It's at Apple. Please. Can I go? Can I go?
It's at Chili's. I mean, I won't get anything.
His father here,
Dick, said, quote, he has been looking forward
to this day for a long time. We all have.
And yeah,
I guess so. The
father of the
dead boy that we talked about,
he says, he's a little, he's not so
happy about the release. He's a little he's not so happy about the release upset
he said whatever peace and tranquility we might have been able to find is broken every time we
hear about bruce kimball and how he is doing uh yeah we only want to think about and remember
our son robbie we don't want to hear how kimball's going to spend his thanksgiving christmas and the
rest of his life while we spend our thanksgiving and christmas placing flowers on our son's grave
because all in the paper it was like oh what's he gonna do now and all big magazine articles about
he's out of prison and he's gonna do great um now one of the victims here the uh a girl named
kimberly uh uh was kimberly walters at the time she uh was knocked off her car when when so she
was injured in this melee uh she says she believes that he deserves a chance to get on with his life.
She says, quote, I think he's had time to think about what happened.
He didn't purposely come out there to kill anybody.
Yeah, but you know what you're doing when you're drinking and you get in a car.
You know what the possibilities are.
You know if you do do that, you're 1,000% responsible for it.
100% it's all your fault
all your fault you know it for a fact no way to blame anybody else no and my life is ruined yeah
and they always try to say with that shit like well someone could have been killed well people
actually were killed here it's not even someone could have been theoretically killed these are
actual dead people i mean dui wise we know people who have you know yeah gone to prison with no
fucking fatalities and uh the same amount of time
so it's a little weird so after prison here he moves to the chicago area like we said he finished
his college degree he actually did he coached young divers got a job as a pe teacher at one
of the illinois top public high schools attends aa he's a gym teacher yeah yeah and off google
comes around yeah parents can be like uh
this motherfucker's teaching you what well apparently he speaks to young people about
his story all the time he doesn't hide it it's he speaks about being clean and sober and doing
all that shit here uh he's a ends up being a kinetic wellness teacher i don't know what the
fuck that is what is kinetic wellness i don't know what that is
kinetic is no he and his degree is in kinesiology kinesiology kinesiology i don't know what that is
either i don't know he said oh i was i was just gonna ask you what the fuck is that since you
seem so sounds kinetic oh okay i get it now Sounds like he's a fucking professional with kinetic energy.
Yeah, it does.
Look at it go.
Energy.
So he's also the diving coach and swimming coach for the diving teams at New Trier High School in Winnetka, Illinois.
So, and as of 2000, when 2008 came around, he had three children with his wife since he got out of prison.
So good for him, I guess. 2002 2002 he wants his driver's license back it's forever and uh they go no no no the sentence
is forever no no no no no no uh so that's december 2000 that's 2002 december 2004 wants his license
back again he writes a letter to the court. Oh, boy.
Asking for, I have this letter, actually.
Here we go.
Quote, my name is Bruce D. Kimball.
I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict.
I have managed to accomplish a number of things in the past eight years.
This is when he wrote the letter, without a driver's license.
At times, it has been very difficult.
I can give you no guarantee that I will never drink again, because that's not how it works.
He says, my recovery takes place one day at a time.
I do know, however, that I can achieve continued success if I live by this creed.
I am very grateful for what I now have and will continue to work toward achieving my goals as I strive toward progress rather than perfection.
In closing, I respectfully ask that you give me uh that you
give my petition strong consideration yeah sincerely bruce d campbell yes or no and uh
yeah do you like me check yes or no and uh so this ruling here they say what the fuck let him drive
what give him his license two years later in the state of illinois oh boy uh yeah so he uh
later in the state of illinois oh boy uh yeah so he uh that's fine it's a mail to him december 13th 2004 he finds out he's getting his license back oh my god chicago's never been more unsafe watch
out should i rack stay out of the goddamn fucking stay out of the dead ends everybody out of the
cul-de-sacs he uh the judge said quote he submitted documentation that the underlying cause of the
problem had been resolved he does not endanger public safety and welfare i don't know about that
so uh yeah he also uh the old prosecutor was asked about the guy who prosecuted him and he said that
he's not surprised by the decision he said that kimball quote made a horrible mistake he pled
guilty he took his sentence like a man and served every day the law required.
Apparently, he has since rehabilitated himself and demonstrated to authorities that he can now be trusted to drive an automobile.
I'm not shocked.
Okay.
I'm not on board.
But in Florida, he's eligible.
He's only eligible to apply for a hardship license, like just to get to work and back.
And that would allow him to drive there.
If that's if he gets the Illinois license, he can do that.
But it would not be legal in Florida.
He'd have to do a whole separate thing down there.
So Florida, it's a fucking mess.
Why is that an option?
Yeah, that's where he killed those people.
You can't drive out here unless it's really fun.
You really need to do something.
And then we get it.
Then we understand. Essential activities. activities head on out it's fine just be careful out here so yeah
be careful out there let's not have any teenagers hanging off the bumper this time all right there
bruce so this time do a little more thinking a little more thinking a little less gassing
so yeah i don't even know what to think here you i feel bad for the people of illinois for the watch out for this and it's kind of a
slap in the face a little bit to the victims families and all that sort of shit and uh you
know it's bad stuff i don't i don't feel bad for him like everybody seems to feel bad for him though
he fucked up he threw something beautiful in the garbage and that's his fault
and he can go fuck himself for that and you know i mean i feel bad for a lot of people i feel bad
for a lot of people jimmy but not nearly as bad as i feel for bruce kimball a research scientist
in philadelphia pennsylvania it's 25 plus uh experience years experience conducting
science shit apparently bruce kimball a company owner and
project manager at handy mantis llc which sounds like it's frank from always sunny's company
this is in uh florida there uh bruce kimball registered migration agent at bruce kimball
migration services at the brisbane airport in queensland in australia there uh bruce kimball
this isn't i didn't even know this was a job this is awesome bruce kimball wind tunnel model maker
at boeing commercial airplanes in seattle that's a great that's fucking cool as shit right he makes
big airplanes he makes wind tunnel that's a model so he scales it all down, I'm sure. And that's what he does.
He makes the models for the-
That's awesome.
That's fucking cool as hell.
See how it flies?
Oh, I wonder if it's just a computer model of actually what it would be, or if you would
actually make a physical model.
If you get to do it, I'm in.
That sounds fun.
That sounds like Legos, but more fun.
Yeah.
That's good shit here.
And finally, Bruce Kimball, an ex-NFL football player here for the New York Giants and Washington Redskins.
And he's inducted into the UMass, University of Massachusetts Athletic Hall of Fame, in the year 2000.
He was drafted in 1979.
Wow.
So they came up at the same time.
He was in the NFL while this was all going on with Bruce.
So he couldn't even know when Bruce Kimball, I didn't know you were black.
That's what the general.
That's horrible. Bruce Kimball thought the diver was white. were black. That's what the general. That's horrible.
I thought the diver was white.
Right.
I guess not.
That's an awfully big diver.
Oh, boy.
Who's your specialist?
The big guy.
Jesus Christ.
How are you not splashing?
Right.
December 2017, Bruce is a coach at New Trier.
It's a school, high school, New Trier Township High School in Illinois.
And he is awarded. He is led into the Illinois Swimming and Diving Association's Hall of Fame,
given a big plaque, a big celebration for him in 2017. Yeah. In 2019 here, his kids were doing
great. They were talking about how he stresses cardiovascular
workouts he makes girls compete in complete rounds of box jumps uh something the one senior said i'm
not very good at those uh but i guess it's good for for cardio because apparently uh they want
all sorts of shit uh one of the kids said, quote, Bruce is making us do cardio
to make sure we'd be able to escape
a zombie apocalypse if there is one.
Sounds like something a drunk
guy says. Yeah, it does.
Keep the keys away from that kid.
Apparently the kids
beat some other team
318 to 226
that weekend in a diving
competition. So they're very excited about that.
Can't get enough of Bruce Kimball.
We've had enough.
We've had enough of him.
Well, you know what?
Go ahead and get yourself an autographed 3x5 index card.
So that's what's for sale for me.
That's it?
It says, like, best wishes.
And then there's a pic.
He signed it.
And yeah, that is $88.99 plus free shipping.
Not a picture, not a glossy, just a fucking index card like I have sitting right here.
Wow.
With $89.
A glossy of Hope Solo is $50.
Yeah.
$80 for a piece of shit.
Don't you wish you could fucking scribble your best wishes?
$89.
Wow.
There you go.
Fucking A.
Cough it up.
That's Bruce Kimball.
And that is an interesting fall from grace there for a bad Olympian.
I can't believe his life rebounded so well.
So well.
Yeah, he's fine.
He's fine.
Because he just had a problem.
But I mean, that problem was a serious problem that other people didn't quite take it seriously. You want people to, I mean, you root for them to rebound and do great and be okay through their lives.
But after they have murdered two people on accident.
Yeah, you root for them less.
Yeah.
I don't care.
You tend to go, gee, I don't know if I want their lives to turn out as good as I thought it was.
Yeah.
It's hard to root for murderers.
No one said, I really hope OJ just really has a good second part of his, you know, because
that retirement's a bitch when you're in jail.
It's going to be tough to dismount from this one.
I'm telling you.
So if you like that show, there's a very easy way you can tell us.
Get on Apple Podcasts, that purple icon, also Stitcher.
You can do it.
Give us five stars.
It doesn't matter what you say.
Say you're following instructions, following directions.
I can't fucking, they keep bothering me to write a review. stars doesn't matter what you say say you're following instructions following directions i can't fucking they keep bothering me to write a review doesn't matter what you say do that uh also head over to shut up and give me murder.com for everything small
town murder and crime and sports related new merchandise up all the time always got new stuff
pumping in and out of there also that's where you can get your tickets to live shows that look like they're going to be happening.
Yeah.
Hopefully.
July in Nashville, but that's sold out here.
And then there's a bunch in August.
There's a few tickets left for New York, I know.
A few tickets left for Detroit.
I think Boston sold out completely.
But we're doing, yeah.
So get your tickets there for whatever you want.
And we'll have more updates for you right now.
We're in the middle of trying to get these Seattle and Portland shows rescheduled.
So keep your eyes open for those.
And San Francisco as well.
Yeah, I spent today, we were working on Seattle and Portland.
It's all a nightmare.
It's all a nightmare and it's all going on.
So what isn't a nightmare is that you can have extra stuff.
You can have extra crime and sports.
You can have extra small town murder. Bonus can have extra small town murder bonus things.
How do you get bonus stuff?
Very easy.
Just go over to Patreon dot com slash crime and sports and make a donation.
If you make over a five dollar donation, you will have access to all of our bonus materials, which we're putting out a pretty hefty volume of it lately.
And no bonus episode for crime and sports this week. But we had one last week and we'll have one next week.
We'll try to do those about every other week or so.
And Small Town Murder, we put stuff up all the time.
Check all those out.
Do that.
Follow us.
Oh, also PayPal.
If you want to make a one-time donation, PayPal.
You can do that using our email address, crimeandsports at gmail.com.
That's also a good way to get a hold of us.
Speaking of good ways to get a hold of us, there's several more.
Yeah, you can get us.
We are at crime and sports on Twitter and Facebook and at small town murder on Instagram.
And thank you guys, honestly, for everything you do for us.
We're going to get to shout outs here in one sec.
But I have to say something that's hilarious.
Somebody couple people tweeted this and somebody tweeted that.
I really want to see, I really wish they would live stream Jimmy reading the names and fucking up and James' reaction to them.
And I said, it is two adults sitting in a room.
I'm sipping water while a grown man struggles to read.
That is not visual.
It's not visually appealing.
I go, audio is definitely
the best medium audio sounds pretty funny if you looked at it you'd go oh you wouldn't be fun you
wouldn't enjoy it anymore i assure you you're getting the best way for this to happen you'd
be sad for jimmy and you wouldn't enjoy it anymore i'm telling you right now trust me grown man not
reading his own writing grown man struggling to read his own writing. It's depressing. While another grown man tries to be supportive while sipping water.
Something a little bit less, almost on par, slightly more upsetting is watching a drunk Olympian drive through a field of children.
Plowing through a field.
Right.
That's just slightly less, slightly more upsetting.
That's great.
I love it, Jimmy. You know what. I love it, Jimmy.
You know what?
I love it so much.
I need to hear it.
I'm done.
Let's do this.
Hit me with like a silver RX-7 in the night.
Hit me with the names of the best goddamn people on earth.
This week's executive producers are Casey Crow, Chase Pickenpaw, Heather Ramsey, Jordan Bennett, Jennifer Justice Thompson,
thank you very much.
You donated both ways.
Devon Cleveland, Christopher Kemper, Jared Hohe, he donated both ways.
Yo Mama Pushi, which I imagine is them trying to say that my mom's pussy donated to us,
which is very sweet.
Loops pussy's to us, which is very sweet.
Your mom's pussy is so nice, Jimmy.
What a sweet lady.
It really is a good one.
Eric Berg, Laura Doubt It, Doubt, I think so.
Tally Sipial, Chuan Chi Chan, Erica Oakden, Michael Orr, Lisa Brink.
Happy birthday, Lisa.
Happy birthday.
Retta Ekstrom gave it to us both ways.
She wanted us to say exactly those words.
Gave it to us both ways.
Alex Hopper, Desiree Rose Buckingham Ramirez, Caroline Russell, Tanya Volanek, Taylor Seaman,
which is a brutal name to have, but she donated both ways.
Or he.
I'm not going to judge.
Seaman both ways.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Taylor Bean, Larry Butterfast and his sweet stash, Steven Rude, and that is our executive
producer this week.
Thank you, guys.
Other producers this week, Andrew Welmer's happy birthday, Savannah Storms, Jenny Murdoch, Joanna Orlando, Zeke Nene, Zach Nene, or Neen?
I don't know.
Brandy Eastland, Nuhu Ibrahim, I think.
Kay Clark, Doug Gerard.
Shit, okay, here we go.
Now I've got six pages of Yes, I Can.
Keith Rashad, Jessica Archote, Lindsay Redman, Heather Walter, Megan Peacock, Amelia Penko, Alexandra Lemur, Nick Bowers, Portland Small, Kendra Moran, Nick Letourneau, like Mary Kay.
Like Mary Kay?
Yeah, Mary Kay, right?
Yeah.
Not Mary Jo.
No, Mary Jo is but a few co.
Right.
Yeah. Not Mary Jo. No. Mary Jo is but a Fuco. Right. Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Mary Kay was the one that married her kid.
The student.
Yeah.
The kid with him on it.
I think Nick took Mary's last name.
Richard Anthony Morris, Liam Smith, Cindy Gallagher, ASDF, which I think somebody just
rattled those out on the keyboard.
Probably.
I think somebody just rattled those out on the keyboard. Probably.
Alexandria Anderson, Carlos G., Lauren Finkbeiner, Meredith Jarchow, RosieL Spencer, Sean Place, Amanda Krushinsky,
Kim Strzok, Brad Mamura,
Marmara,
Jennifer
Gunleman Thompson, Tim Root,
Malcolm Williams, Mindy Bond,
Michael Karfunkel,
Big Tony Kintz,
Lisa Chalice,
Anthony Palmer, Jason with no
last name, Miranda McGuire, Sam Ransom, Alexis DeVries, Tanya Cummins, Eric Federnach, Paul Jretkowski, Jade313, Ren Jaeger, Christine Alberan, Bonnie McRae, Thomas Tipple, Lindsay Fabella, Katie Dench, Paul Boyle, Silly Lily, Aiden Dench's birthday, Kelsey Seaman, Robin Robinette, Jess Ser. Oh, it's a different one. It's two people named Seaman.
Robin Robinette.
Jess Serrano.
Aaron Todd.
Desiree Sanders.
Josh Piper.
Kimberly Bunnell.
Chris Voss.
Hunter Rafferty.
Britton McLemore.
And Ashley McLemore.
Melissa Dubouch.
Oh, damn it, debauchery.
Dubouch Correa.
Vid Sankar. Kayla Hunsbergerberger i think i said josh piper
moving forward to the next page fuck lisa would know last name ant with no last name barry siegel
uh philip mcriv Jammin' would know last name.
Jennifer Wilds, Caroline Larkamp, Barbara Livingston, Billy Lionheart, Kyle Williams,
Daniel...
No.
Yeah.
Daniel.
No.
Daniel.
Baglian, Rachel Jobe, Libby Huggett, Brad Dancer, Jamal Jeffrey, Chris would know last
name.
Bad Dancer, Jamal Jeffrey, Chris with no last name, Austin Farrell, Lauren Johnson, Kyrie Alisa,
Nikki McDonald, Nick Castle, Tegan Bailey, Miranda Miller, Andrew Manning, Elizabeth Freeman,
Laura Woolmore, Beverly Frazier, Claire Frederick, Heidi, no, what is that, Helio?
Bodega, oh, hello, Bodega Kitty.
Nailed it.
Got it. Fucking Alex Eisen, Morgan Graham, Morgan Eberle, Kelsey Huff, Lauren Painter, Lisa Dunn. It's not a hard name.
No, it's not.
Lee Brown and Charfaros Mardweed.
No.
Nerweed.
Pamela Dugan, Cindy Wagner Douglas, Don Peterson, R. Murphy, Megan Manning, MJ,
Taylor Whitford, Natasha Markin, Emily Johnson, Alyssa Tyler, Samantha Anthony, Amanda Preuss,
I think, Nikki Ansley, Doit, no, Doit, what did I do, Doit Destiny, that's not right what i don't know what i'm doing uh james black layla shack
no shake shake shake s-h-a-i-k yeah it's not that difficult wisman uh mckayla patricia andrea with
no last name theresa sternagle uh joanna james drew bittner tatum wyam allison uh libhart rose Nurtatum Wyom, Allison Libhart, Rose Venata, John King, KS, Kabe, Reverend John Gilliard is back in town.
Hey, the good reverend.
Sarah Ford, Danielle Marshall, Christina Allen, Yami Leff, Victoria with no last name, Wendy Hill, John Jackson, Rachel Kracht, Aaron Rowe, Marina Maynor, Zoe Graham, Nicole Schoble, hill john jackson rachel cratched uh aaron rowe marina maynor uh zoe graham nicole showbell
jennifer carlisle kim oliver daniel no diane that's what that is diane hazen sam croupet or
cruppet terry stern uh maiza mazi mazi ahira i'm i'm uncultured and stupid, and I apologize. Lara Cronin, Andrew Sweet, William Hunt, Autumn Rice, Cat Rhodes, Zach Jones, Sammy with no last name,
Kendra Nash, Cole McElroy, Chris P., Joseph Simmons, Jennifer Weathers, Matt Manley, Michelle Bellinger,
Allison Rickey, Kevin Douglas, Graham Goodman, Dolan, Dallin, Dallin Tinkman,
Cammy Wright, Meg Oldfield, Lisa Nefberger, Neuberger, I think.
That's a U, not a V.
John Cunliffe, Becky Youngblood, Nicole Ray, Jane Bastin,
Sam with no last name, Raleigh Vogan, Blue with no last name,
Molly Dubate, or Dubette Dalbert. Kaylin Chance.
Austin Presley.
Tyler Harrington.
Steven Gavin.
What did I do?
Kevin.
Karen.
Karen Burnett.
Fuck.
Matthew Miners.
Andrew Hill.
Tyler S.
Elijah.
Elijah Chavez.
Ethan W.
Hillary Vaughn.
Don MacArthur Harmer.
Jessica Levitt.
Kenzie McCarthy. God Weigand, Frances
what is this?
Frankincense Sanchez, Catherine Hunt, Nicole Wilson, Jesse James Horman, Joshua Fields,
Elias Rotama, Melissa Turner, Maggie Remley, Adrian Nibala, Danielle Atherton?
Question mark. remley adrian nibola nibola danielle atherton question mark uh april washington taylor beams mark young tory betty trey main uh lasley andre hashem jiggly bean elijah eliza elizabeth
reed uh damn it mike mark young uh andrew santos shea with no last name, Elizabeth Reed, I said that, Racy with no last name,
Callie Neidhammer, the Bolero family, thank you very much, Matt Hellman, Allison Canty,
Christahol, what?
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.
I'm sorry.
Katrina Mosley, Kyle Roshun.
No.
Rowland.
Rowland.
Mm-hmm.
Evan Cunningham.
Chris Ferrara.
Michael McKayla.
McKayla Miller.
Joseph Wirth.
Russ Edmondson.
Colter Drazel.
Matt.
No.
Kat.
Kat Heiden.
Mitchell Miser.
Mike Letcher.
Trevor Williamson.
Stacey Durham.
Jay Bonnie.
Logan Wickey.
Sidney Keppel. Kirsten Hale,
Jennifer with no last name. We are so
goddamn close, you guys, I swear. Kate
Jones, Connor Heffernan,
yeah, Julie
Watt, Oliver Thomas,
Dawn Ewart, Emily Shea,
Gemini,
Pantoja,
Pantoja,
Joseph Hoeft, Matt Buerzi, Ryan Ellison, Kyle Coley, Michelle Brown, Rhi Rendell,
Christina Struzzi, Devin Axtman, Stephanie Tucci, Renee with no last name, Charmaine with no last name, Christine Tattoni, Brian Weber,
Corbin Knipp, Oliver Kikich, Lisa Schultz, Jacob, what, McReady,
Trey Swanson, Michelle Warner, Cindy Weiss-Whistler, Frank with no last name,
Kira with no last name, Adam with no last name. Tia Norris. Grant Sackett.
Brian Whiteman.
Shania Iglesianski.
Melissa Gilbert.
Claudio Gonzalez.
Kelly McGill.
Puckerbrush Enthusiast.
Robin Stambo.
MPC.
Whatever that is.
Ethan Coleman.
Christopher Young.
The Impish Artist.
Kate.
No, Tate.
Tate McClain.
Julie Webster,
David Meyer, Leland Lern, Joshua Peterson, what is it, Dave Kerstetter, yeah, or George
Alston, Bob Miles, I think I wrote, Mikes, I don't know what I did, Mides, Marge, Sonia.
I don't know what I did.
I don't.
Sonia Johansson, no, Sonny.
Oh, no, that's Sonny.
What?
His man's name is Sonny?
I don't know.
Sonny Johansson.
Erica with no last name.
Matt Tolich.
Brandon Danziger.
Kristi Knight.
Lisa Williams.
John Oswalt.
No, that's Josh Oswalt.
Eric Michael Grant.
Moza.
Noza.
Devin Radloff. Amy Sorensen, Logan Henneman, Charlie Burr, Stephanie Vela, Christopher, no, it's Chris Peters, Jason Shocks Little, Najah Wallace, Justin, no, Dustin Sefton, Kristen Beneshek, Jen Albert, Alberti, fuck, Dingo Man4, McKenna Missfelt, Maggie V, Stan Zatosky, Michael Potter, Ellen Buback, Robin Adams, Sean Hogan, Lori Scarpa, Jim Comiani, Ryan with no last name, Ariel Conner, Brendan Fedor, Ashley Mello,
Phillip Nidecker.
Oh, that's Phil Nidecker.
He's a good dude.
Michael Lockwood, Joshua Childers, BDA Zox, Zach, no, Jack, Jack Byrne, Kim with no last
name, Lawrence with no last name, Teo, Teo with no last name, Lins with no last name,
Alex Sanders.
Oh, no, that's Alexis Sanders.
Robert Allen, Kim, what is that's Alexis Sanders. Robert Allen.
Kim, what is that, Cam Lewis?
Katie Lewis, that's what it is.
Suzanne Luerson.
Mary loves Jimmy and James.
Or is that Marie?
It's Marie.
Well, thank you, Marie.
We love you back.
Jonathan Hamos.
Kyle Davis.
Ariana, no, it's Ariya Arellano.
Wizard of Problem Town.
Jan Miller, Kathleen Bailey, John Erickson, Dapple Apple, Jared Pitts, Zoe White, Eric Bogan, Amy Schuer, yeah, I think, Patrick Gordon Crowell, Katen Wilson, Elise Flores,
Phoebe Taylor, Joseph Grinkowitz, andrea brown katie pickett chris
with no last name uh emily trembley elizabeth holobur holobar jesus uh penny carver chantelle
sheiks shakes shicks shit uh michael smith maggie lacey lauren harman andrea roberts samantha clark Shit. Michael Smith. Maggie Lacey. Lauren Harmon. Andrea Roberts.
Samantha Clark.
John O'Poole.
Joan O'Poole.
Nicole Jason.
Aisha Sequeiro-Locino.
Cree Foster.
Robert Surwaka, I think.
Michael Coco.
Jared Hohe.
I said that in the first ones.
Bobby Hamger. Hamburger. No, it's not. I said that in the first ones. Bobby Hamburger?
No, it's not.
Morgan Rene, Evan Pilk, Taylor Cassell, Alex Elliott, Tommy Craig, Connor Orman, Matt Kruk,
Emma Fianti?
Fiant?
Gant?
I don't know what I did.
I apologize.
Reggie Noble, Elizabeth Robbins, David Albury, Yuri Nader, Danny Spang, Devin Williams, Danny
Zich, Christine, no, Kristen, Beneshek, Deborah Bird, Laura Doudit, Shane Stikeleather.
At least Redman is donating to us.
That's good.
I was happy to hear Reggie Noble there.
Sweetheart of a man, that Reggie.
Deborah Bird, I think.
Yeah, Chris with no last name.
Allison Vernarsdale.
Jared Birch.
Paul Gruber.
Tracy Renninger.
Aaron Gerber.
Adriana Knight.
A.B.
Natalie Stadelman.
Emily Cleaver.
Ashley Vio.
Gary Howard.
Colorado Kate. Emily Tackett. Robert Kennedy, Laura Gardner.
We said that last week.
It's probably not that.
There's another one.
Danielle Schaub, Aaron Hudson, Michael Griggs, Reagan Shalkley, again, Trey Valkenar, again, Stephen Siegel or Seigel, Peyton Meadows, James Asselto, Shannon Russell, Amanda Knight, Jackie
Sukup.
Hang in there, Jackie.
Ron Hildebrand, Ian Britt, Sydney Oaks, Angelina Serrano, Jeremy Henson, Joshua West, James
Marder, Deanna Grimes, Amy McDonough, Robin Anderson, Alexander Green, Kimberly Hobby Studios, Jacqueline Donaldson, Amy Amanda Blomgren,
Chad Noss, Alex Hopper, John Erickson, Lindsay Sage, Jennifer Prater, Taley Rowlandson, Thomas
Smith, Volstead, Amy Famous, Amos Rodriguez, Ryan Sargent, Carl Kirshner, Jennifer Prater,
I said it, Elizabeth Freeman, Mary Kip Suesley,
Christopher Hughes, what is that, Maddie, Ladmeralt, I think.
No, it's just Matt.
Fuck.
John Joyce, Ashley Baker, Jake Antonioni, what?
It can't be right.
Antonioni.
What? Can't be right.
Half.
And Tony.
Hoffley.
Holly Hoffman.
Janice.
Lucy.
Stacey.
Vincent.
Karen.
Andrea Webster.
And God damn it. All of our Patreon donors.
You guys are the best.
Thank you.
Thank you so much, everybody.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
From the bottom of our hearts.
You're really why we do it.
You are.
Thank you.
It means the world to us.
And I've got to tell you, a lot of you guys, some of you guys are assholes.
Yeah.
But most of you aren't.
And you know who you are.
I'm talking to you guys right now.
You know who the assholes are.
It's not you.
You've talked to them.
It's not you, but you see them.
You've interacted with them.
You know who they are.
You know who they are.
They're around.
Honestly, thank you guys so much.
Jimmy, where can they get a hold of you if they want to find you?
You can find me at Wisman Sucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N sucks, on Twitter and Instagram.
Thank you guys for everything.
What about you?
You can find me at JimmyPIsFunny, or just copy and paste my name from the show description
and make it easy on yourself.
Do that and have fun.
Follow us.
Do all that happy horse shit.
Listen to Small Town Murder every Thursday.
Listen to P.S. I Hate This Movie every Friday, live from the Crime and Sports Studios. We will see you next week. Bye. all that happy horse shit listen to small town murder every thursday listen to ps i hate this
movie every friday live from the crime and sports studios we will see you next week
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If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin,
then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay. I am here for you.
I'm Darcy Carden, and I'm inviting you to listen to my new podcast,
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directly to your tympanic membrane. And if you listen to my podcast, you'd learn that that's
the sciency term for eardrum. We embark on a hyperlink roller coaster as we start out on a
Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link, careening through trivia, oddities,
and unexpected connections until we collectively shout,
How the hell did we get here?
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