Crime in Sports - #214 - Revenge Of The Nerd - The Falseness of James Munroe
Episode Date: June 23, 2020This week, we take a look at a story that is unlike any we've ever told. A man pops out of nowhere, with a full bank account, and desire to build, and drive for the best racing team in Europe.... He bought the hot cars, and lived the life... until it comes to light that he's not exactly who he says he is. As a matter of fact, he's not at all who he says he is. So, where did the money come from, and exactly who is this guy?? Be a "Gentleman Racer", fly everyone you know on the Concorde, and be completely full of crap with James Munroe!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder# See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Stories on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports.
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Thank you so much.
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in it it's one of those stories where you're like how is this not a movie yeah exactly because it's
pretty damn weird so it is abound oddities abound we'll get into it it's and it's a sport we have
no idea about and there's not much sports in it really it's more other stuff it's all crime so
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the wwf in the 80s they had a little thing called a ring boy scandal.
Now, that sounds as gross as it is.
That's the thing.
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That's gross.
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Yeah, that's all.
That'll do that.
But let's get that all out of the way.
Oh, listen to Small Town Murder every Thursday, by the way.
Last week, absolute insanity.
If you want to start again, listen to last week. Yeah, that was a that was a crazy one. if you want to start again listen to last week yeah that
was a that was a crazy one so you want to hear that and uh hey check out ps i hate this movie
every friday too while you're at it we'll make fun of bad romantic comedies but that said i think we
got to dive into this may as well because it's a this is weird jimmy we've we cover a lot of
different sports and a lot of different things and things come up this one no other case this is no episode 214 yeah and we've had 213 completely different shit cases before not shit
cases but right different shit different shit in those cases in those cases exactly so let's talk
about our gentleman of the hour yeah here his name is james monroe okay m-u-n-r-o-e yeah it's a
weird spelling yeah they google does not like it it wants it definitely
wants it to be an o did you mean and then you click no and they go are you sure you didn't mean
that but here's some other ones just with the o just in case you're like listen google
fuck you all right i know what i'm looking for stop it i know correcting me exactly what i'm after bastards now james we'll
talk here uh briefly uh what he gets into uh he's born in 1966 in that time so uh he's he's an
englishman oh okay so we're we're going across the pond today 66 in england 66 in england so yeah he
grew up in the 70s in england which wasn't the greatest time for england i know they were having some problems in the 70s and uh i don't think the 80s were that
much better for them so he grew up during that it's fascinating they go through 20 years of
turmoil and they're like we're gonna keep the king and queen this shit is working out they're
like they have since they don't do anything to cause or affect or help this let's just leave
them sitting there just hang on to them dear Dear Christ, don't bother with them.
I wonder if it's like, well, no matter what, at least they're there.
You know what I mean?
No matter how good or how bad it is, we still have that.
Well, is it almost like everybody's extended family?
Almost like, Christ, yeah, Uncle Tom's a pain in the ass,
but I know he's going to be there every fucking Thanksgiving.
Whatever, that sort of thing.
He's not even going to bring anything but he'll be there he'll be here
is it like extended family is that how they consider it maybe i don't know it's the only
reason i could see it being tolerable i don't understand how it goes i mean i guess they it
is a constant it's an ebb and flow and they just know that for sure that's a stability that's a
remnants of normalcy do you think maybe it's just so as a whole,
as a country of 60-something million people,
they have someone to gossip about all at once?
You don't know your friend,
or this person doesn't know your uncle,
but they all know Kate Middleton
and whatever the fuck, Meghan Markle.
They all know them
and can gossip all they want about it.
I suppose. It's the only know them and can gossip all they want about it. I suppose.
It's like the only thing that everyone can gossip about.
Or they're like, yeah, but then we'll have to change the fucking money.
Oh, we're going to have to do that.
That's a lot.
Listen, we're already doing terribly.
That'll cost us more.
What do we do with the castles?
Who's going to cut the lawn then?
That's the thing.
Then we've got to deal with that.
Fuck it, leave them.
Fuck it, whatever.
They're fine.
I'm not bothering anybody.
I don't know. We all look a little bit better than them, so who gives a shit? Yeah, deal with that. Fuck it. Leave them. Fuck it. Whatever. They're fine. I'm not bothering anybody. I don't know.
We all look a little bit better than them, so who gives a shit?
Yeah, yeah.
That's the thing.
Now, I have to say, William, get some plugs, bro.
For sure.
You're a prince.
Yeah.
You are literally in line for the throne.
He's the one that we know for sure is Diana and what's-his-fucks, right?
Yeah, yeah.
That's the one that we know for sure.
The other one has way too much hair.
I don't know what's going on there.
Why does he have to look like the asshole?
I'm for real the one.
I'm the guy.
Look at me.
I'm awful looking.
I'm absolutely inbred.
Look how inbred I am.
It's clear.
I'm so inbred.
It's not even funny.
I'm absolutely in line for this throne. I'm super half inbred. It's It's clear. I'm so inbred. It's not even funny. I'm absolutely in line for this throne.
I'm super half inbred.
It's obvious.
Why do I have to be the ugly one?
I just know that the bald one hates the one with hair.
Yeah.
Because for years, especially, he's like growing it like a big ginger fro and shit.
And it's like, I just say he's just growing it bigger and bigger to irk his brother.
But his brother was doing great.
He's got a haircut. until he was like nine.
It started thinning so quick.
He was like 21.
But he looked great for a bit.
For a bit, yeah.
For a bit.
When he was in the service, he looked good.
And then the tail end of the service was like, oh, no, bro.
By the time he was 22, he looked like 90s Bruce Willis.
You're like, what's happening to you?
My God.
That's not good at all.
That is not good.
He looked like Bruce Willis in Death death becomes her yes yeah that hair where he's like hanging on to as much of
it as why are you doing he's 22 that's why he was like no don't do that you're fighting nature
though at that point i think at that point you're like no no i have hair i'm 22 so i should have
hair so i'm not gonna i don't accept i don't accept my scalp's conclusion about my hair.
I'm going to have the last word on this fucking day.
He looked like he had a sleepover at Chernobyl.
Like he did.
It was chunks of it.
It was bad.
And then his brother's just like, you got a big pick.
He's like picking out his picking out his ginger fro being like, man, this thing is
puffy today.
Look at me.
Holy shit. Snoopop dog visited the castle they
use the same pick yeah anyway he wanted to play football but he couldn't fit a helmet on it i got
too much hair babe can't do it sorry no helmets for me g i want to see a redhead guy with with
dreadlocks that seems like that would be kick ass oh. Oh, man. It'll go down south.
There's got to be there.
There's got to be someone somewhere, right?
I've never seen it.
I haven't either.
But it's got to exist.
Never.
It has to exist.
It's got to, right?
I've seen a girl with red hair with cornrows.
Yeah, but was it...
Not cornrows.
I want dreadlocks.
Oh, you want dreadlocks.
I want, like, fucking...
Yeah, there's some white girl doing that somewhere.
Yeah.
Yeah, go to some festival and somebody's walking around
with bright red dreadlock dress like the girl from fifth element yeah she's like oh man she's
like one of those chicks super annoying i don't even know if she eats kale she's just like she
drinks a green drink yeah i think she just likes drugs i don't think it's a matter of health so
much as she's like hey i want to see a ginger with dreadlocks with it tied back in a ponytail.
Okay.
Like those guys from The Matrix.
Okay, yeah.
You know what I mean?
The twins.
Yeah, yeah.
That would look kick ass.
I swear it would look cool.
In my head, it looks cool.
In front of me, I might be horny.
Hey, Harry, get on that.
Yeah, Harry, stop washing it, bro.
You can do it.
Just let it go.
It'll really piss your brother off.
Oh, boy.
If you're just experimenting with your hair like it's...
I don't know.
I figured I'd fuck with it this month.
Didn't wash it for a while.
There's nothing more...
You motherfucker!
You son of a bitch!
When they were kids, he's like,
ha ha, you're a ginger.
And he's like, oh yeah, motherfucker?
As he's picking.
Right.
I'm what now
yeah i'd tell you what you are but i can't tell because it's all gone fucking 28 year old bald
motherfucker yeah the hairline of the toxic avenger yeah it's bad stuff so well we have
really gone off the rails i think we just spent six minutes just roasting making fun of somebody with a lot more
money than anybody that we know but he didn't do anything for it so fuck him yeah yeah if you think
about it you pay your hairline that's that's what it is the price you pay for power yeah you pay it
with hair in your youth well they say that you know the throne it hangs heavy you know what i
mean so i mean it's hanging heavy on him.
Where the other one's like, I ain't got to be king.
I'm moving to L.A.
Fuck this shit.
Take my hot wife to L.A.
Go to the dispensary.
I'm going to go ruin some L.A. girl's lives when they see what I'm bringing with me.
Jesus Christ.
Me and my ginger pro.
They had a, by the way, way okay this is the last thing i
swear to god and then we'll actually get into crime and sports which is the episode but
there was a show and i think this is probably the greatest premise of a reality show of all
time i didn't see it yeah but it's a show called i want to marry harry and it was from like 2013
when harry was like a big sex symbol.
Remember when everyone was like, oh, everyone wanted to fuck him.
And they got an actor who looked like Harry to impersonate Harry and pretend he was Harry.
And these girls on the show thought they were on a reality show to be a princess.
They thought if they won, they got to marry Prince Harry and be the princess.
They thought that's how it works.
And they go through this whole show. And at the end, they're like, you win. By the way, that's not Prince Harry and be the princess. They thought that's how it worked. And they go through this whole show
and at the end they're like, you win!
By the way, that's not Prince Harry.
This is Barry. He works down the street.
He works at Starbucks.
He's literally an unemployed actor.
He had to take off to do
the shoot for six weeks.
If you still want to marry him,
it's open. I'm sure he doesn't mind.
Barry, are you good with this?
He says he's in. I don't know if you want to. He said he mean, it's open. I'm sure he doesn't mind. Barry, Barry, are you good with this? Okay.
Yeah, he says he's in.
I don't know if you want to.
He said he'll call you princess.
Is that good?
Is that good enough?
His castle, he lives in a studio apartment up in.
It's really high in West Hollywood.
Yeah, it's up there.
Don't worry about it.
So this James Monroe, he is not born in a castle.
Poor royal family.
Yeah.
They're suffering.
They've just had it so hard over the years, haven't they?
I got a feeling we'll never be knighted.
Just doing nothing and living in castles.
It's really a tough life.
It's a tough life.
Damn it.
You can talk about me in any tabloid you fucking want.
Oh, my God.
If I can live in a castle.
Yeah.
And not do shit.
Yeah.
That sounds great.
I'd love to do it. I know they have to do official duties, which consists of dressing up in a fancy fucking
suit and going places and eating.
So, I mean, that's something.
I'll clean up the jizz puddles with whatever rags you print about me.
It's all good.
Yeah.
It's fine.
Created by whoever willingly manipulated that out of me because I'm royalty.
I'd just be so happy.
It'd just be coming out all the time.
I don't even know what's going on.
Oh, again.
Holy shit.
I can't stop it.
I'm just every time, every 15 minutes.
They call it the royal fountain.
Mm-hmm.
You know how that goes.
Don't call it Big Ben for nothing.
So, okay.
Monroe here, he's born in Wokingham, Berkshire.
Okay.
Wokingham.
They are woke.
He's the most woke.
Yeah.
It's the most woke in all of Britain.
It's very woke.
It's where you go to get woke.
That's it right there in Berkshire.
Okay, let's jump right ahead into what he does.
He's in a thing that we've never covered before, and we'll cover it very briefly because I don't know shit about it.
And the explanations about it aren't really that clear.
The explanations are more things that I don't know.
So I'd have to look up that explanation and then look up and look up and look up and i just it's really not worth it
we have much more fun just creating it yeah it's but we just talk about the royal family for the
next two hours but this is it's british gt championship racing okay okay that's what it is
do you know what this is yeah it's like they're like real cars yeah but like bmws that are tricked
out tricked out and fucking mclarens and porsches and shit like that like sick it's like they're like real cars. Yeah. But like BMWs that are tricked out, tricked out and fucking McLarens and Porsches and shit like that.
Like sick.
It's cool as fuck.
I mean, these cars are awesome.
They're just awesome as shit.
They're like race versions of street legal cars.
Right.
So that's cool as hell.
So I saw that this whole series, I guess, British GT championship racing started in 1993.
And it's it's very very complicated this is
this is this is the explanation i got like what is it okay it's this guy wrote it out uh he says
there are many championships in many territories then he says i'm not so knowledgeable about the
u.s events but tend to watch the british and european events the biggest bits that are
different from f1 so this is the difference between British GT and F1.
I don't know much about F1 either.
F1 is just that formula racing.
Yeah, that's with the open wheel.
Those cars are so fast.
Those are ridiculous cars.
Yeah.
That's not even a car.
If you can't buy that, that's not a car.
No, you can't even imagine that being street legal.
No one's pulling up to a...
It's got a cockpit with one seat in it.
You're not going to pull up to a light with that thing.
It's an F16 with fucking delete the wings, put put wheels can you go through a drive-through no okay well
it's not a car that's not a car then you just can't even open your little port so what are you
supposed to do so uh he says in this one uh the cars look more like real cars like we said they
do they look like awesome versions of street cars. There are varying levels of similarity and differences between buying an Audi R8, which is like your top of the line, you know, kind of fast Audi.
It's a supercar.
Yeah, from your local dealership and buying a GT4, GT3 or GT2 race car.
But the brands are recognizable and relatable.
So, yeah, it's just the race versions of that.
Like some dealership had uh what the fuck was it
this crazy porsche like these uh this porsche has like the 911 they have like the the gt3 and the
four and he had one that was like like two hundred thousand dollars or some crazy shit and it was
like yeah it was ridiculous this car i didn't even want to go too close to it i just saw it and i was
like i'm gonna stay like i give this thing a bubble. I'm going to social distance this car because I don't want to fuck it up at all.
It was really nice.
Also, driver changes.
Unlike F1, where even the team is generally centered on the single driver of each car,
GT racing is much more of a team sport with anywhere between two and four or even five
drivers sharing a car over a race.
You switch out drivers in these races which is i can see that but that's the whole point it makes sense but then the whole thing is
different so you have to point of having just one dude is to see the endurance of that yeah
well i guess this would be more like a team thing you'd have to build your team of people
have different strengths and you'd have to know okay this guy's this and this guy i don't know
i don't know what that is.
This adds excitement as a car can be dropping down the field in one part of the race, only to steam back up later with a faster driver. I can see that.
So that's kind of interesting, too.
Race distances also.
Some series have one-hour races.
Some have three-hour races.
Some races are 8, 10, 12, or even 24 hours, like the Le Mans that we talked about with the one guy.
As a result, you often get refueling in races.
In many series, this is done with high-pressure refueling rigs, a bit like F1 of old.
But in some series, it's done at literal petrol pumps.
What?
They have the gas pumps where you'd pull up to the Shell station and be like, just put it in.
Do I have to pay?
No?
Premium, boys.
What goes in here? It can't be regular, right? it in. Do I have to pay? No. Premium, boys. What goes in here?
It can't be regular, right?
This fucking thing looks crazy.
Ridiculous.
So that's what they're doing.
So they were really trying to,
it's any kind of new racing league
or any kind of new sport.
It's obviously a little precarious at first.
So they're trying to figure out ways to do this.
Now, in 1998 is when our guy kind of comes into the scene here.
So he's about 32 years old.
And he gets into the GT racing.
He gets into GT racing.
Yeah, he pops up out of nowhere.
He's not like a race guy.
It's not like he's been doing other racing for years and now he's going to go into this.
He's just a dude that pops up out of nowhere and he's like, I want a GT championship team
that I'm going to drive for.
Okay.
I'm going to make one and I'm going to drive it.
That seems expensive.
Well, yeah, it seems very expensive.
So he comes up and he, I mean, right away too, he puts a big amount of money into this
racing team.
I'm talking from the very beginning, he hires a huge pr firm they hire models
and pop stars to do big promotional events to kick off the brand and all this type of shit i mean
they're not uh caprice the model she was hired for a thing and pop star paul young i don't know who
that is british yeah who the fuck knows but they were hired to do the opening party for this whole
thing so he's making a statement here that he is
he's not only going to race but he's going to be it's going to be cool to hang around his team he's
he's going to be a playboy on about this shit too he is instagramming a 1998 race team exactly yeah
that's exactly what he's doing power yep and it's i mean for a brand it's it gets attention right
away no one else in the british gt championship is doing this they're just a bunch of guys with cars yeah whereas this guy's
like no no we're gonna make this flashy and fancy and he promotes his team and he he enters the
racing series calls himself because they have different levels did you come from this racing
that racing he calls himself the class of racer he is quote gentleman driver oh boy which in britain
in the uk and great britain usually anytime the word gentleman is used it means you don't work
yeah that's what that means that you are a fucktard who got money from your dad
means somebody died and gave you land that's what gentleman means that means you haven't done shit
i bought my way into this i've never broken a sweat is what gentleman means basically of from
what i've gathered obviously there's different things but he's uh yeah he's a he's a gentleman
driver is what he calls himself so basically rich guy yeah that's what that means rich dude
it's a fascinating context felt like buying a car yeah imagine if they did that in other sports
gentleman quarterback i'm just a very rich man who likes to throw the football around nice to
meet you and they let him in here yeah no shit you imagine though other sports just gentlemen
there's no gentleman fighters no i'm just a gentleman but no you'll get killed yeah you
don't know how to do this no but somehow and and it seems like racing would be something
that you wouldn't want to just jump into because i don't know seems dangerous it's highly skilled
right it's more dangerous than fighting in terms of like you can explode yeah there's fire involved
i've never seen a man catch fire in a boxing ring i've seen people have died in the ring they really
have but they didn't burst into flames first which is you know it's a difference yeah there's concussions to take on both sides
it'll happen but flame the flame part yeah that changes the game the high test fuel is involved
i haven't seen anyone up be left-handed he's covered in high test fuel and he's a burst into
flames oh my goodness the 10th round has been amazing here, folks.
Jesus Christ.
They say that left hand is volatile.
I don't mean that it'll rock you.
It'll explode you.
You will spontaneously combust if he catches you.
You cause a spontaneous combustion.
That left hook.
Although, I would watch Mike Tyson fights a little more closely.
Well, wouldn't everybody?
I'd love to hear that.
If somebody could burst into flames at any minute.
I'd love to hear Harold Letterman before a fight on HBO.
Ah, here you go.
These two fighters.
Johnson, he's got a good right jab.
He's got a nice right jab.
I like his overhand right.
It's not bad, too.
You know, he's got that uppercut that he's a little wild with.
But Johnson on the other side, I'll tell you what.
He hits you with that left hook.
You will burst into flames
you will explode
and turn to ash inside the
ring so he's got to watch out for that left hook is what I'm talking
about back to you Larry that would
be a great fucking intro to a fight
it causes
explosions
spontaneous we have
a word for him we call him flammable
tonight he's very flammable he's on fire
his last four opponents were incinerated in the ring before the third round so i would look for
an early round incineration here all right back to you larry i want to see an early round
i want to see some of those like uh just literal words i want to see those taken seriously in some
video where they anything because they say such just yeah the hyperbole is oh god flexed yeah
you know what i mean yeah i want to see some of that somebody edit a video and make that shit go
like super literal he's on fire tonight and he's like trotting back down the court
and he's just flaming flaming like nba on fire all the way up to his face looking very does a lot of
discomfort on us just jesus christ that's some nba jam shit there that was such a good same
oh it's the best man well we even played i don't want just the ball on fire i want their whole fucking body yeah just
he's bursting the flames that's a good left hook boy when you when you can incinerate a man
with your left hook before the fourth round i gotta tell you it's impressive
so he's a gentleman driver yeah now he hires a publicity firm named panic publicity to push his
uh publicize his race team so he doesn't want to just kind of
get in and race some and get into the whole thing he's like this day one he wants to be the most
well-known he's never raced before he's just like this dude who popped up so it's a very old very
weird thing but he publicizes this big image of this race company and uh the pub the publicity place for from him the way they
promote him is they tell everybody that he's doing all this he just sold he had a computer company
it's 19 it's dot com yeah days 1998 so he said he had a computer company that he just sold for 50
million pounds what's up motherfuckers and he just ready to, now he's ready to party.
He's a nerd.
He's like Mark Cuban.
He's Elon Musk.
Yeah, he's Mark Cuban.
You know, he's a nerd who had all this shit,
and then he sold it for a bunch of money.
He's like, now I'm going to have fun.
Now I'm going to be a sports owner.
Just doing the same thing on a smaller scale.
Now I know everything about Dirk Nowitzki.
Yeah, now I'll tell you all about fucking isolation offense.
Let's do it.
What?
Okay, sure.
I'll show you the best way Jason Kidd is utilized.
Sure, what the hell?
Why not?
Unbelievable.
That's the funniest shit.
That fucking...
That guy.
I don't mind Mark Cuban so much, but his fucking...
Good for him to work it out, too.
Yeah. Well, he did similar shit though
like this like he came in and he was like publicity like because the men like back you have to
understand the mavericks are like a big team now but yeah they weren't oh boy were they bad they
were fat levers your biggest player yeah like they were a joke yeah oh rolando blockman's back on the
team great they have tree rawlins too for a little while? For a little while, I'm sure.
They were just an awful team.
They had an awful logo.
They just looked farty and stupid.
Yeah, he came in, and we talked about this all the time.
He offered people $100,000 to change their name to Dallas Maverick for a year, and then
more money if you'd fucking tattoo the Dallas Mavericks logo in a visible place on your
body.
Today, that is such a low a low play everybody would do it today yeah he'd be broke tomorrow oh yeah people don't give
a fuck now this country would be dallas mavericks people used to have integrity a little bit a little
you know remember when like gone remember when people like didn't want to like be on tv because
they would embarrass themselves remember that yeah
when there was shame when there was like shame now people are like they don't give a fuck they'll
let cameras do whatever shame's not allowed anymore there's no such thing as shame you're
not even allowed to give it to somebody you're never mind have it yourself it's just weird people
used to be like oh well i don't want people to see me on tv looking stupid and they'd actually
worry about it now people like where am i they're in their, I don't want people to see me on TV looking stupid. And they'd actually worry about it. Now people are like, where am I?
They're in their fucking pajamas.
They don't give a fuck, man.
They can't wait to look stupid.
They can't wait to look stupid.
You know why?
Because you can't shame me for that.
Hold on.
I'm coming out.
Let me put my slippers on so I can give you my political opinion on my front lawn.
Hold on a minute.
Okay, now that I'm here, let me tell you something.
Okay, thanks.
My slippers are your dick still out.
Yeah, I know.
Listen to my opinion. I said I wanted slippers, not a fucking warm dick. Okay, thanks. My slippers are your dick still out. Yeah, I know. Listen to my opinion.
I said I wanted slippers, not a fucking warm dick.
Looking hot out.
I want stuff and gravel.
That hurts when it gets into your heel.
My dick needs air.
All right.
So.
Now let me tell you what I saw happen down the street three weeks ago.
So he, yeah, so he's 50 million bucks, he's saying, 50 million pounds.
So he's saying 50 million pounds.
The publicity company is publicizing this.
It seems like a really awesome story.
Here's this nerd guy, and they sold his company, and now he's got 50 million pounds, and he's
going to dive into racing with all this exuberance and enthusiasm.
And any time a sport has somebody wealthy that jumps in with enthusiasm it helps the sport because it gets other people other rich guys
get involved more money gets involved and then the sport can kind of grow a little bit here
now this publicity person uh oh uh gil jislaine pascal uh he says quote in the end uh he was the
genuine walter mitty who created this world and in the end, he was the genuine Walter Mitty who created this world.
And in the end, he was doing crazy things like flying 10 people on the Concord.
But he never appeared the playboy.
He did not go to parties, and he was always conservatively dressed.
So that's the weird part.
Like, he's doing all this, but he's not, like, living the lifestyle.
He's doing this publicity, and he wants this race team
to be big but this doesn't seem like he just created this like racing world yeah but he's
not like partying like i said he he could if he wants to but he's not out like with women and
partying and uh you know he's got a suit and tie on and he's got glasses and you know he doesn't
look like a guy who is like yeah just throw down
half you know what i'm saying like that's not his style at all but wild on the on the racetrack and
then gets back home and he and he's a yeah pj he just really fucking um yeah he's just really he's
and then he gets when he's into racing this is the car he's racing by the way let's have a look
see holy yeah i wanted to take the show the picture so you can see it's a fucking mclaren That's when he's into racing. This is the car he's racing, by the way. Let's have a look. Holy shit.
Yeah, I wanted to show the picture so you can see it.
Those cars.
It's a fucking McLaren.
It's this crazy shit race McLaren.
It's a fucking spaceship with wheels.
If you picture like a toy, like a toy car that looks like a crazy, like it's going to transform into a robot.
Right.
It's this fucking car.
It's two inches off the ground.
I was going to say, I don't even know you couldn't slide a piece of paper under that thing if there's a pebble
you're gonna fucking crash and it's streamlined that if you blow on it your your breath goes over
it no no yeah it's completely aerodynamic no wind resistance whatsoever but it's a dope ass
fucking car it's unbelievable it's an orange mclaren f1 gtr and uh what year is this the the
car yeah i'm not sure what the car but i mean 1998 yeah so that's when mclaren had the fastest
production vehicle in the world and those were super sought after so it makes sense why he would
tag uh that company to make the car for him it makes sense and he's driving one of these on the
track and then he's got a street legal mclaren he gets to hell yeah that's similar to this but street legal the street
legal version of this basically so it looks very similar to them oh yeah yeah no it's an f1 they're
yeah they're pretty much identical it's ridiculous one's a long tail or something and one's and
whatever there's two but they look pretty similar and they both look silly yeah just like crazy
fucking race cars so he's a gentleman driver driving this goddamn thing, which I'm sorry.
I don't know if I would on a racetrack.
I wouldn't want to drive something like that on the street.
I would be afraid to fucking wrap it around a telephone pole.
I'd be scared to do that on a racetrack.
Well, at least on a racetrack.
There's nothing to hit.
But it's an expensive car.
I'll spin it out on the infield if I have to.
I feel like an asshole for breaking it.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Definitely.
It's a nice car.
It's fucking gorgeous.
So they had the big launch party for the race team, like I said, with Caprice and some fucking pop guy.
It was at a restaurant in Soho.
They had champagne.
And he was talking about he made like a little speech.
And he was talking about how one day we are going to uh we're going to keep
this british gt and eventually this is going to fold into uh formula one we're going to end up
i'm going to end up with a formula one team one of these days which are very expensive that's a
different level of everything because that's international they go all over the place this
is just kind of a localized circuit in England. Taylor Swift is soaring high.
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A little bit different.
So he says that he's doing that,
and he says he bought a Benetton race car
that once been driven by Gerhard Berger.
I imagine he's a big deal.
I imagine that means something
if you know anything about F1 racing,
which I don't.
He's the Richard Petty of that shit.
I don't know what that car is, and I don't know who Gerhard is at all.
That doesn't sound like a race car driver.
Richard Petty sounds like a race car driver.
Richard Petty sounds like a race car driver.
That sounds like a dude that grew up in a barn that didn't even have a trailer.
He sounds like he spits tobacco between his first and last name when he's introducing himself.
Richard Petty, nice to meet you.
You know what I'm saying?
That sounds like a race car driver.
And you can barely hear him over engine noise.
Right.
It's one of those.
Don't you dare call me dick.
That's what it says.
I just idle high.
That's all.
That's that noise you're hearing.
I idle at about 4,000 RPMs just to keep her on her toes, if you know what I'm saying.
I have no idea if that makes any
sense at all it's close it sounds good let's say this up front i don't know shit about cars like i
know what cars are and basic stuff but i don't know like any engine stuff or any of that i'm not
a car guy i'm the opposite yeah you know all your car stuff that's my wire i don't know shit yeah i know nothing about cars all right so uh yeah your cars are like my weed i guess we'll say my cars are your
weed and reading yeah maybe yeah no shit take that for what it's worth that's perfect
it's fun to open the mail and every time i see a book i go here this is for you
doesn't even look doesn't
even look to see if it's like hey jimmy it's always just like that must be for you it's a book
you go jimmy this is an adult coloring book it's certainly for you this one's yours this one's
yours but oh christ so this monroe guy he's not only does he do all this and make a big splash and kind of looks like
a little ego thing too obviously but like i said he's not partying that's just not his lifestyle
but it looks like this is kind of an ego thing this is like i'm gonna stroke i'm gonna stroke
myself in public is what this is and show you everyone how great i am and he uh this is almost
like a a nerd who people picked on and now he's's like, I'm going to show him how cool I am now.
Look at me.
Right.
Models in a race car, which people do that.
That's fine.
If you can go for it.
So he even but he puts his money where his mouth is, though.
He signs like a hot driver who other teams are fighting over to be his other driver because he's going to drive this fucking car, too.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
He's going to be getting behind the wheel. He's not just owning the car. No, he's because he's going to drive this fucking car too really oh yeah he's going to
be getting behind the wheel oh he's not just owning the car no he's a he's a gentleman driver
jimmy that's what i mean this is uh this would be like if mark cuban's like i signed myself as a
shooting guard we were looking through free agency not real promising i'm gonna go ahead and lace them up i said there's one guy on this whole list i can trust and it's me i love it that's that's what he did though he basically he signed like another
really good like i'm gonna sign a good player yeah but uh he'll back me up you know what i
mean like i'll play the flips things are going wrong i'll bring him in witherspoon's about two
years past his prime i'm gonna go ahead and ahead and play. I'm going to play.
I'm going to start tonight.
You guys get it, right?
And from the owner's box, playing shooting guard tonight, Mark Cuban.
Undoing his tie.
Hold on a minute, guys. It just goes silent.
Is this guy for fucking real?
What is he, 5'11"?
What's happening?
Give him a chance.
Maybe he can dunk.
We don't know.
Spud Webb was small.
I mean, he could...
Who knows?
Oh, no, he's got nothing.
Okay.
He's a gangly white guy that does computers?
Yeah.
We should have known.
I think so.
Yeah, that's probably a problem.
So he's eyeing this up-and-coming driver.
It's like, hey, you...
Imagine that other driver.
So I'm going to drive, and then you're going to drive.
Right.
So.
So basically, once you fall behind 20 spots and you're going to pull in and I jump in
and fucking pull back up to the front of the.
OK, thanks.
And if I don't win, then you fire me.
Then I get fired because you suck for half the race.
And you save face.
Got it.
Excellent.
Sounds like a good idea.
You pay the next guy.
He also recruits a team like poaches a team of Formula One mechanics from good race teams,
like offers them twice their salary and poaches them.
Brilliant.
So it's brilliant if you have the money.
And for these guys, they're like, sure, why not?
What the fuck do I care?
I'll go work for this jerk.
The rest of the field is like, fuck this guy.
Yeah, well, not the field.
He's stealing them from Formula One.
He's not even stealing them from the people around him.
He's stealing better mechanics from the bigger race thing.
So he's going to really good Formula One teams and plucking people out of them that he likes.
Get my tire guy there.
Get my lube guy there.
He heard from the driver.
I like this guy.
This guy's good over here.
And they go, if you have the money, you can go and cherry pick whoever you want.
It's wild.
Yeah.
It's like money.
Wild, isn't it?
Weird, right?
You can buy your own championship.
Is that what you're saying?
You can fucking buy people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, uh, so this whole time he is, he's got this whole crew now of people that work for
him.
You know, his, his, uh, mechanics, his racers, uh, promotions, people, all these people,
he flies them back and forth on the concord there's only one of
those yeah yeah groups of 10 people you know how fucking expensive the concord was when it was
operational yeah it's a big deal it's yeah it's super fast it's great it's so expensive though
and he's flying 10 people at a time back and forth on the fucking concord he's buying ducati
motorcycles for just gifts for his crew and shit like here you go guys run around on that like he's buying ducati motorcycles for just gifts for his crew and shit like here you go guys
run around on that like he's pissing money away yeah like a bastard he buys a uh he buys for
himself a uh a six hundred thousand dollar mclaren f1 yeah uh capable of zero to sixty in three
seconds so fast they're so fast they're're so rad, though. They're ridiculous.
Yeah, they're fun to watch.
Like you'd watch a cartoon or
James Bond or something
silly like that. They're so fucking
silly, these cars. They're not even like
top speed of 230 miles an hour.
Absurd. That's ridiculous. For nothing.
That's faster than NASCAR, right?
I mean, they're doing about 180,
190. Oh, so 230 is fucking much faster
yeah that's that's very fucking fast um yeah he's buying all this shit like all these crazy things
and including for himself he's got he's a car guy obviously if you're a rich guy and the first thing
you do is go start a race team clearly you're a car dude and you're very interested in that uh he
also buys some things for himself.
Three Aston Martins.
You know, they're easy over there.
Those are $120 each, right?
They can be.
I don't know back then.
It's a pretty nasty, expensive car.
I do know two Ferraris will cost you.
He has two Ferraris.
Those are expensive.
Those are pricey, I know for a fact.
Four Mercedes, because why not?
You know, you've got to have your beat around vehicle i guess
yeah a jaguar yeah and then also the betaton uh formula one racing car that he bought also so
this is like what's in his driveway at home or these cars uh fleet of cars like fucking he's
like 50 cent he's like yeah he's like 50 Cent or like a cool Jay Leno.
Hey, you want to take a look at my Studebaker?
Not really.
Want to see the Levi's van?
Absolutely not. No, I really don't.
I want nothing to do with that car.
I got a 1937.
It's just a big block of metal, but look at it.
Great.
Doesn't run yet.
Want to drive in my Duesenberg?
Nope.
No, I don't.
Don't want to listen to you.
Don't want to hear your voice.
Don't want to see you on TV.
Go away.
I don't want to hear about Maven.
Nobody knows what she even looks like.
I would like to introduce you.
Sit down, Jay, for one second.
This, it's amazing.
We've been working on it for the past couple thousand years.
It's a fabric that's not denim.
Look at that.
Enjoy this.
Anything.
It's wild, right?
Just put it on.
You're going to fucking... I'm going to introduce you to 1980s here is silk try that my nipples have been chafed for 45 years i
don't know i was wondering why i guess i'm wearing denim all the time this is so much softer oh geez
i got denim on my nipples uh it's chafing chafing chafing now i get it you know
he likes the clothing nothing but so for. Of the era of vehicle he drives.
That's what it is, yeah.
Yeah, he needs to look like a 30s fucking, like, small town garage mechanic.
Right.
Like, he'd pull up and he'd be wiping grease off a wrench in his coveralls.
Howdy, what's the problem, mister?
Like, that's how he dresses.
Chilling out.
What the fuck are you doing?
You have, like, $800 million.
Fucking. Somebody tell that man he's not poor.
Yeah.
Does his accountant wake him up every day and go,
today might be the day that you're poor?
Oh my God, Jay.
Oh no, no, you're good.
You still have $800 million.
I'm sorry.
You haven't spent a dime of tonight's show money yet.
You're wearing $40 sneakers from Walmart.
What are you what are you
doing take off the new balance yeah jesus fucking christ jay leno put some goddamn half decent
comfortable clothes on there's there's a man that might have been the first evacuation of shame he
has none he does not care he doesn't care zero zero no buddy cop with mr miyagi sign me up don't
care everybody i'll be a laughingstock
i'm in yeah i don't know i love doritos sounds good he doesn't give a fuck
he's an asshole he doesn't care no i i don't like him no i just don't i never have i cannot
stomach a second of jay leno and that might just be because we're comedians i mean people out there
might like him whatever but like as comedians i look at that guy
i'm like oh that's the shit we're trying to like be trying to purge out of fucking comedy for 25
years so people will come back is that shit that same and and it's not and i mean people who aren't
65 like fucking you know what i mean and it's not just the the the style of comedy does so i'm sure
that fits somewhere it's just just the make fun of everything.
Yeah.
Except you say it about me and I'm a cunt about it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fuck you, Jay.
Yeah, that too.
Just to be able to have some humility.
You have $800 million.
Yes.
You sold your soul.
Doesn't matter.
And the other thing too is the thing that pisses me off is he's a skilled comedian.
Right.
Like, have you ever seen a stand-up?
So good.
He's a fucking skilled.
He's so good,
and he chooses to use that
to talk to the dumbest fucking people he can.
He uses that and just takes it down so far.
Yeah.
He's like Gordon Ramsay.
He's like,
I just want to make chicken strips today.
I don't know why.
I just feel like...
I'll bread them and just fry them, know i don't know why i just want chicken
strips like it's not like that's what he's doing yeah like fuck you stop fucking joking down you
asshole you're actually really good at this yeah work hard you'd be amazing if you would stop being
a fucking hacky old fart and you know and to to his credit uh why work hard when the payday to not
it doesn't matter yeah that's the thing it doesn't matter yeah maybe if you have that kind of money
you just don't even care you just make a joke what happened that's a shit joke all right great
the check cleared i'm in i just bought eight model t's you want to look at them
okay sure i guess everything's fine the last The last eight that run. That's it.
I own them.
I got them all.
I actually bought Henry Ford.
He's frozen.
I put him in one of those Judge Dredd chambers, and we're just going to stick him up in my
garage.
People can come take a look at him.
Henry Ford's got a little dick that I thought he did.
That's amazing.
Little dick, big lot of cars.
You know, he was buried in clothes, but we took those off, and I'm wearing them.
I'm wearing them right now.
These are the clothes Henry Ford had on. These are the ones i wear every day he's naked he had some new balance and a denim shirt that's what he wore also when
you get him out of the out of the casket chafe nipples as well i tell you denim what are you
gonna do okay jay leno sorry jack so sorry jack sorry so he's out there doing his fucking thing uh he uh
here is what a reporter for british gt said quote james monroe launched his british gt effort for
1998 with a long tail mclaren f1 and a glitzy event featuring supermodels and pop stars so
that's what we're talking about here
he gets into the actual races this year and this fucking guy is racing there's one race at
silverstone i don't know what it is this is the 1999 season and judging by the dates they tend
to go like it looks like spring through early summer yeah it's like they run like april through
june okay and that that ballpark the worst they're gonna get is a little bit of drizzle i guess i think it's maybe for weather or maybe that's other racing leagues
are different ones because you if you're a newer one you probably have to slot yourself when there
other isn't other racing going on i would assume and it snows like a bastard in england right uh
no they don't get they don't get snow they get some snow but it's it's it's their their climate
is basically like seattle's oh it's just a lot of rain snow sometimes but mostly it's it's their their climate is basically like Seattle's. Oh, it's just a lot of rain.
Snow sometimes.
But mostly it's going to be it's going to be 40 and rainy in the winter rather than fucking 20 and snowy.
You know, that sort of shit.
So I know English weather based on Disney based on Disney.
It's just based on cartoons.
I see snow and windows and shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, there it does.
No, it does snow in England.
But it's not like I said, it's like Washington State, basically.
Like Seattle is a good way to put it.
When I'm talking to English people, it's what they've told me.
So this race, this seems to be his first race that I can fucking find of him.
He runs his McLaren.
There's other McLarens in this race, too.
There's, let's see, one, two, three, two other McLarens in this race.
It's mostly Porsches.
It's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven Porsche 911s.
Porsche 934.
A bunch of Porsche 911 GT2s.
By the way, the one I saw was a GT3 at that place.
And I was like, what the fuck is that?
I want to know what that extra bar on the back is.
It's expensive.
It's probably everything.
I didn't want to look at it. The entire yeah the body the motor everything i did look at it and
i was like no matter how much money i have i could never drive that because you would fucking you
would need to butter me to get me into the fucking to get me out of it i couldn't fit it's so small
my legs would be up over my head looks like a terrible not that i would even think to drive a porsche but if i could yeah and had the desire to so this race uh they are the number two car
in this race and numbers don't seem to be if there's 13 racers uh there's a few more but
the numbers go from 1 to 65 yeah it could be anything you want uh they are the number two car
and they come in fifth in this race.
Really?
Goodwin is their other driver, and Monroe.
They come in fifth in this race.
Not too fucking shabby.
It's, what is this?
What is the time here?
52 minutes.
So they are, I think they're like a minute behind the winner.
That's pretty great.
It's not bad.
For a guy who sold a computer company, and fucking that's not bad.
I don't know how much he drove it doesn't tell you how much each drove driver drove but still fuck it uh the next one i found here is the british gt championship in
snedderton which sounds very british yeah by the way there's like two more of these and then there's
no more sports whatsoever so uh he uh yeah he he does this race and in this race uh a couple other
mclarens a bunch of uh porsches at a venturi 400 the fuck is that it's very similar to these
it's like a supercar looking yeah it's something nuts that we'll never own or buy or probably ever
see no shit that is wild and what about a lister uh i don't know what that is
lister storm that sounds like uh i i can see it something similar to it looks like an aston
aston martin okay like an aston martin race car well first place is the lister storm gtl somebody
driving one of those and then second place is goodwin and monroe well second fucking second
fucking place which is pretty fucking impressive
i gotta say but if you're armed with a mclaren james that's not bad you better not lose they're
only 50 seconds behind the the winner that's pretty good shit so uh it's not bad yeah you're
in the mclaren but there's other mclarens and porsches and listers inventories and all this
shit so second place the party in that night must have been wild he was probably
popping champagne and flying people back and forth over the ocean just for this just to do it
guys fly over and come right back just come on let's make it one more round don't even get off
the plane just stay seated let's see if the pilot's tired he's not tired we're gonna do it
we're going to catch fucking do it here so the next one I found is British GT Brands Hatch.
I don't know Brands Hatch.
I don't know.
I don't know what the fuck that is.
But Brands Hatch.
By the way, the last one, the race is the track was 3.141 kilometers.
That I do know.
This race, I don't know how long it is.
But this race, the winner again is a Lister Storm.
It's the same guy. This is Bailey Lister Storm. It's the same guy.
This is Bailey slash Campbell Walter.
Those are the two drivers.
They seem to win everything here in this Lister.
But what is it?
Let's see here.
Monroe's in this race, too.
Fourth place is Monroe and Goodwin.
Oh, no.
So they're in fourth place.
Yeah, but he dropped out of the podium.
Yeah, these are all top five finishes.
Not too shabby.
He's in his mclaren a mclaren an exact like kind of the exact same car finished ahead of them
too so there's that and then finally i see this is on uh january or july 11th 1999 uh he is at the
it's the british gt championship in silverstone which is a track they raced on earlier in the season.
They must have multiple races here.
This race, they come in sixth with their McLaren.
Three Listers in the top five.
Wow.
These Lister storms must be bad motherfuckers.
Apparently.
And Centura?
What the fuck is that?
C-E-N-T-U-R-A?
S-I-N-T-U-R-A.
No idea.
Centura S99 Judd. Never heard of it. What the fuck is that? I've nevern-t-s-i-n-t-u-r-a no i didn't torreff s99 judd never heard the fuck is that i've never
heard of that too well there's a there's an american car in here what is someone's running
a viper really yeah they came in 14th place with their viper uh so yeah one american car in the
field jesus so yeah that's that car is just too heavy i think for that i don't know that's a heavy
fucking car yeah i don't know so it's it heavy fucking car. Yeah, I don't know.
So it lost.
It came in 14th place.
It did beat some other shit.
Beat a couple of Porsches and a Venturi.
But I don't know what the hell race.
I don't know shit about this.
So I don't know what they do to these cars.
Yeah, there's got to be something extra done to that.
Who knows? You got to lighten that thing up because it's a big fucking V10 in that thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Those are a big.
That Viper v10 is heavy
and big they must just replace that whole deal probably every race right just keep the frame i
would think right all the other shit out yeah we don't need this garbage here uh so then he's in
another race that i could find it's called six hours of fuji and uh this race is they're racing
a different car they're racing a porsche They're racing a Porsche 997 GT3.
Holy shit, hold on.
Which is goddamn bonkers looking.
Wow.
It's a 911 looking thing with a big fucking wing.
Oh, it's so cool.
It's dope looking, yeah.
I want to drive one of those.
Is there a school that lets you drive those?
I don't know.
I'll tell you afterwards where you can go actually drive one that is right drive it around scottsdale
what oh shit take it off scottsdale road nasty exhaust on them too that i can rev it up
oh yeah we'll talk afterwards i'll tell you how to do this so uh yeah he uh uh but this
comes in eighth place okay so that's eight out of ten. Why are you dropping out of your McLaren?
It's not great.
Different drivers, too.
It's James and Paul Ip from Hong Kong and then Christian Reed from Denmark.
Got it.
Those are the three drivers.
I think part of the rule is you have to have drivers from different countries in the same car.
It's some weird race like that.
It's some international thing.
I like that.
Yeah, it's some international thing.
So he is feeling himself. Sure. I mean. It's some international thing. I like that. Yeah, it's some international thing. So he is feeling himself.
Sure.
I mean, he's out there racing.
There's adrenaline, I'm sure.
In racing, there's adrenaline.
Now, compare that with the adrenaline of, say, running a computer company.
Not close.
You can't compare those.
So he's just got to be tasting adrenaline at this point.
It's like a nine-volt battery on your tongue.
Yeah.
Oh, that's still fresh.
It's good.
It's good still.
Yeah.
That got me.
That kind of adrenaline.
That's how he's fucking feeling, man.
He's got to be feeling so good about himself.
And he is.
And eventually, he's in magazines.
You know, because there's racing magazines.
And they include him.
He's got hot cars and all that shit.
Plus, he's an interesting character.
A lot of these guys are boring race guys and he's like i sold my computer company
and now i'm a gentleman racer i mean if you're looking at the field of 15 you're a reporter and
you go who do i want to do a story about he's the interesting guy fuck yeah i mean period that's it
so they talk to him uh all these different magazines uh one magazine called boys toys
he's they do a whole profile on him in there
that's a scary fucking mag in america it sounds gross it's dripping with jizz yeah it is but uh
yeah over there it means cars and shit so they do a whole profile on him over there on this thing
just who he is and is how much racing he's into and he loves racing and all this shit he even does an interview on bbc2
uh called the cars star is this show they were doing the cars the cars starts a show about car
comma star so that the car is the star and they're trying to do like you know it's a racing show
and they interview him on this show about cars and his car in particular and his other cars that
he's got at home it's a car show yeah and they're talking to him on it's on bbc2 grace oh boy that's
grace okay no very very it's a hard grace we're gonna call it sometimes we have a soft decline
this is a cliff hard hardcore grace grace brick wall is what he just hits okay uh at this point here i will let
uh this uh this reporter tell you about it here here's a reporter that here's the quote all too
soon though it unraveled particularly so when a senior executive of his employers publisher
mcgraw hill spotted monroe one of their accountants, racing a McLaren on TV.
Get out of here.
Yeah, who the fuck is this guy?
Yeah.
Ain't who he says he is,
I'll tell you that fucking much right now.
Number one, his name isn't James Monroe.
What is it?
It is James Alexander Hayden Cox.
Oh, no.
He is a complete fucking fraud.
Wow.
He is not who he says he is at all. He's not where he came from at all. He works in complete fucking fraud. Wow. Is not who he says he is at all.
Is not where he came from at all.
He works in the accounting department.
He's an accountant for a publishing firm.
A pretty staid English publishing firm called McGraw Hill.
Oh, no.
And so he, I mean, that is, as far as British life goes, you are about as boring as it gets.
You're a publishing company back then. Very safe. Very boring, and he's an accountant for it, not even on the creative side.
He's doing numbers for a nerdy.
He's figuring out whether or not we can be creative this month.
Yeah, guys, it's a little tight to be creative.
Stop being creative.
We can't afford it.
It costs a lot to be creative, guys.
Stop it right now.
They saw him on TV.
One of the directors of the company went, why is our accountant on TV with the McLaren?
Right.
How does he have like a, what the fuck is going on?
They started asking around and they started becoming obviously suspicious.
Like, that's him.
That's not his name.
There's a different name under him than what they know him as. But they like who knows maybe his who the fuck knows they don't know maybe his family's
super wealthy and he does this on the side and doesn't want to tell his business people because
they thought think it'll affect his business life right but they become a little suspicious
put it that way uh so yeah he is the uh the uh uk accounting the director of uk accounting for mcgraw hill uh so yeah uh now here is an article
that james monroe tells exactly what he what he did and why oh my god it's in from pistonheads.com
which is i'm there every week normally for just you know my news my piston news i need to get but
uh it's also another thing in america doesn't mean the
same thing that sounds gross it also sounds gross it sounds like it's either that or it's a detroit
pistons fucking fan blog it's either that or or the pistons fan blog wishes they could have got
it before this golden shower website say before this awful awful disgusting sight had it here. All these heads getting pissed in. Oh, my God.
So, yeah.
Well, let's talk.
Let's hear from James.
Because his name is James.
That's his first name.
He says, quote, to the age of around 30, I had been as law-abiding as the next man, following the usual route of the aspirational classes of the 1990s.
He's a fucking dork.
He's an accountant.
And he's furious.
He hates that he is Johnny
Average. And he's not Average.
He's upper middle class.
He's a director.
He's doing fine.
But he's not this crazy
wealthy, can't do whatever he wants.
He can have a nice house and a nice car
and take care of his kids and all that,
but that's not good enough for him.
He needs more.
He needs more and more and more.
He says, quote,
married, fledgling fatherhood underway.
So he's married.
He's got kids.
What?
That doesn't do anything for him.
Okay, keep going.
Married and kids.
He's like,
boring.
He comes home with his glasses from his publishing company, his boring little office, and sees
his wife.
This is boring little dinner with his boring ass kids.
And he's like, fuck this.
I need more.
I need more.
Oh, my God.
He says, quote, regulation, quote, executive home in the leafy Thames Valley.
So, you know, he's talking about had a nice house
in a nice suburb neighborhood and things that people would kill for this life they would kill
for there's so many people out there would be like i would fucking kill if i could live in a
nice leafy neighborhood and take care of my wife and kids in an office job every day that'd be
terrific or take care of my husband and kids or whatever the fuck but not him he's not okay with
it he said uh in the leafy tames valley and stuttering toward the dizzy heights of the anonymous echelons of middle
management within the finance profession he's that guy that word he hates the word anonymous yep he
said yeah he said think of how many different things he said in there he said anonymous and
middle management in the same sentence so he there's a he sees that all as one big you know yeah mush of shit being anonymous and being the
guy that shit rolls into and i have to push it on to other people and you're the accountant you're
not getting credit if if your publishing house puts out a huge book that's a big the accountant
did a great job nope he's just a boring guy in the back office you don't get any more anonymous than an accountant in a publishing company and uh yeah figuring out
if we can go hardback or soft fucking yeah middle management and uh yeah he's just bored i guess the
everyday monotony of the whole thing just drove him down paperback that was the word oh there you
go soft i did just say i don't read so whatever he
doesn't know he said the seeds of my enduring passion for cars were sewn early the odd athena
poster of a lambo or a testarossa adorning a teenage bedroom wall what kid didn't have a
lamborghini poster or a ferrari poster on their wall all did. It was the best. Yeah. Watching in awe as something red, loud, and very Italian rumbled along the street.
So he's always been into cars.
He's always had a hankering for them, I guess, but it just didn't fit into his lifestyle.
Breaking news, James.
Everybody has your feelings, sir.
Who doesn't see that when you see a Ferrari?
You're like, whoa, look at that.
I'd like to sit in that.
That's the point of that fucking car.
Yeah.
That is.
That's why you buy that car.
You can't drive 200 miles an hour on the street.
The fuck are you taking a Ferrari where you can tell?
You're not getting it out of second gear in the city.
You're doing it so people can go, whoa, that's it.
That's the only fucking reason why you're driving that goddamn thing.
That car sells itself. I bet there are very few lamborghini salesmen you don't have
to talk me into it no you come there you know you want a lamborghini you're not like no let me show
you this feature right it's a fucking lamborghini sit in it start it up hear that feel that that's
what it does you want it or not no okay great someone else will buy it tomorrow get the fuck
out of here then that's what they tell you no no it or not? No? Okay, great. Someone else will buy it tomorrow. Get the fuck out of here then. That's what they tell you.
No negotiations.
No dealing.
You want one, you buy one.
Period.
I have the Portland Trailblazers coming by tomorrow to buy 12 of them.
So do you want one?
No?
No.
Get the fuck off my lot.
It's the bricks, asshole.
Tell your story walking, chief.
Go on.
Not driving.
As it was.
I don't need Aldridge seeing you here.
No.
I'm going to fucking embarrass.
You're going to embarrass me in front of the Trailblazers is that what you're trying to do is that what you want
want to embarrass me in front of the portland trail fine fine uh yeah so he's doing that he
said quote dreaming that would be me sometime tires were kicked aplenty as i became a regular
visitor at many of the local dealerships peddling this tail or that just for
a whiff or a test of a test drive so he'd come in and pretend he was like a hot shot hilarious so
he could test drive fucking ferraris and shit which is pretty funny lots of people have done
that doing that do you dress up to do that or do you dress down to do that you dress like a piece
of shit down yeah you dress down yeah i dress down, but with brand new sneakers on.
Yes.
Down with nice sneakers
and you get out
and act like you don't care.
Right.
And they'd be like,
he's probably got millions of dollars.
Who is this?
Nope, he has one new pair of sneakers.
And no dollars.
He spent $60 on Pumas
and just kept them in the box till now.
And that's all he had.
That's the fact.
That's how I would go into it, though.
That's only my theory.
I don't know. Because I feel like too much dry it would look like you're trying
to right yeah we get it dude you had some money at some point but we don't know if you still have
it yeah you bought a suit right great maybe you're fucking your aunt died you just came from the
funeral wonderful that's how jay leno buys them yeah that it. I hate to have him as a pallbearer who shows up in a denim fucking, you know, anybody in
a denim suit fucking carrying your coffin.
I want your shirt the same brand as your jeans.
No.
Fuck.
So, yeah, he would go into all of these trying to get test drives and shit like that, which
just kind of sounds pathetic, but I could see people doing it.
That's the male equivalent of a woman who has no plans on getting married,
going in and trying on wedding dresses.
You know what I mean?
And being like, no, the date's like next year, but we're not sure.
We're picking it out still.
But I just want to find the dress.
And this is like, I can see myself getting married.
This is the male version of that.
You're not even wearing an engagement ring, lady.
It was always sunny when they did that.
Dee would come in and finally the girl's uh the salesperson she's like um you've been coming in
here every day for every weekend for a year trying on dresses i'm gonna have to see some proof that
you're actually getting married at this point like this is getting ridiculous that's hilarious
he's like just go get me five more dresses to try on no i'm not doing that this is the guy version
of that like
oh someday yeah except you might actually get married someday the chances that you're going
to be driving a fucking ferrari way slimmer there's very few people going will you drive
a ferrari with me yeah it's they're gonna go drive the ferrari on their own they don't need you
so uh yeah he said yet it started to grow into something more. I was allowing myself to be seduced by all that these cars represented.
Some sort of life.
He's blaming the car.
He's blaming the car.
What?
I went in there and they talked to me.
I could hear them.
You start them up and they go, James, change your name and lie to everybody.
Put your ass on me.
Get on me.
Put your ass on me. That's me. Put your ass on me.
That's right.
Put the premium in me.
Yeah.
That's better.
How did he?
Fill me up, James.
Fill me up.
How did he do this?
I don't know.
He just tried to blame it on the cars.
He's a guy caught on to Catch a Predator going,
yeah, but she wanted it.
What are you talking about?
She didn't look for it. caught on to catch a predator going yeah but she wanted it what are you talking about yeah no looking for can't tell me a 13 year old told you to fuck her she said i was sexy he's blaming the cars which is such a weird they were talking to me
it's a weird thing to do blame the cars the cars. Dodge designed that truck for me.
Yeah, that sounds like our other guys when they talk about drugs.
They talk about that like it's that fucking crack man was talking to me.
I just I was like, I needed to smoke some more.
How many times have we had people say that on the show?
He's saying the same shit, but with cars about a car, which is a totally different thing.
He said, I wanted what i thought the drivers had the power
the success and most of all the image they became a symbol of something that i felt was missing in
my life and had to attain regardless of the cost yeah most people see that they want that but then
they dismiss it from their mind as i don't know i'm in my 30s i'm married i have kids and i'm a
fucking accountant for a publishing firm i'm probably not going to be a race car driver with a crazy fun image and driving.
Probably not going to happen for me.
Most people instantly dismiss that, and that's that.
And they go about their lives.
He goes, there's got to be a way.
I don't have the money to meet Paul Burns or whoever that pop star was.
I don't remember what his name was either.
Hayes?
Or Citrus.
What was the girl's name? Caprice. Caprice. Caprice. I remember what his name was either haze or or citrus what was the other was
the girl's name caprice caprice caprice i remember that i was close yeah citrus starts with a c yeah
there you go i don't know either of those people and i don't i imagine it's hard to get in their
company probably yeah you probably have to pay the money right i would assume especially if you
want them to like hang out at your fucking stupid car party that they don't know shit about. PR firms are expensive.
Oh, yeah.
Very expensive.
So, you know, he's pissing money away.
So, yeah, he says, regardless of the cost, the early signs were not good.
I hocked myself to the hilt just to, albeit briefly, own an MK2 Golf GTI 16 valve.
A fucking Volkswagen.
A Volkswagen.
A Volkswagen little shitty station wagon a gti
they're very that's a little that's a real fast like souped up race version of it like 32 grand
yeah this one i think a little bit more 99 and 99 because this is a 40 specific model though i think
it's a little higher up gti what yeah mk2 golf gti 16 Okay. He said, sadly ending its days stolen.
So, yeah.
And somebody stole it.
Not only stole it, sadly ending its days stolen, ransacked, and lovingly abandoned on bricks
on Wentworth Golf Course.
They took a golf to the golf course.
They took a golf to the golf course.
I was just going to say, you see the irony here, right?
That is genius.
They took the golf.
Yeah.
I looked at you like you heard that.
Okay.
They put the car on the golf course.
They put the golf on the golf course.
That's on purpose.
They didn't say, the only place we can go is the golf course.
Oh, cool.
Weird, right?
No.
They were like.
That's like stealing OJ's truck and leave it in a horse corral.
That's what I mean.
That's why I like British people right there.
Because even the criminals are like, you know, it would be funny.
We have to leave it somewhere, right?
What if we leave it on the...
You know?
Whereas here, they wouldn't care.
They'd just leave it on the side of the road in a gutter somewhere.
Whereas there, they're like, this will be fucking hilarious.
And it is.
On center blocks with no wheels.
We're laughing about it now so you
know what bravo 21 years later bravo this is like 25 25 years later your joke is landing if it didn't
land then you know what it landed now maybe the cops didn't think it was so funny and monroe
probably didn't think it was funny but you know we get it we get it the wait is over so far you're not losing the only
thing you're losing is my patience quickly i see that the queen of the courtroom is back i didn't
do anything you wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face
i see he's not intimidated by anything. I can fix that. New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
Okay, so, um...
This is not a so. This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door
the emmy award-winning series returns how did i know that i have crystal ball in my head
it's an all-new season it's streaming you can say anything judy justice only on freebie he says uh further the the debts mounted and the bailiff circled so that i could have that car on
the driveway so he's just sacrificing everything so he can drive this car he's got he's in debt
people bill collectors want money from him and shit like that he said then the usual banal
examples of company cars came and went the a A to Z of, quote, small executives.
I dreamt of the day when I could put something special in my garage, but it never materialized.
Each day it seemed more remote.
Every day.
I feel it.
The usual banal.
He said he had like a Beamer.
Yeah.
You know, small executive cars, you know.
The 3 Series.
The 3 Series.
Not feeling great about it.
No, he's pulling in. You know, that executive cars, you know. The 3 Series. The 3 Series. I'm not feeling great about it. No, he's pulling in.
You know, that's what I mean.
It's a great life that lots of people would kill for, and he's like, it's just boring.
It's too comfortable, I think.
That's the thing.
If he had a struggle in there, he wouldn't think about this because he'd be like, oh, shit, like my kid has fucking lupus or something.
I don't know.
Like, if he had a struggle or if he had like some sort of financial difficulty or anything.
But he's just it's pretty easy and he's bored.
So born to white trash and not having anything makes having a vehicle with gas in it feel great.
No matter what the fuck car.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
So happy keeping.
I never got that.
He's just always been bored and then wanting something else every each day it seemed more remote
what fuck you man dude he said he makes it sound like this is how you know people who are like 38
and they still want to have kids and they're trying and they're like each day it just seems
more remote no it's even already a step better than uh the guy from fight club you know what i
mean yeah yeah that guy had an apartment full of Ikea shit.
Yeah.
This guy's got a BMW.
He's doing great.
Yeah.
He's not.
Yeah.
He doesn't have an apartment.
He has a nice house and a BMW and a family and he's doing fine.
Yeah.
He said, for many, that life of mine would have seemed idyllic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Motherfucker.
He says, yet for me, it was not enough.
No, not enough.
He said, you may wonder how I went from being a rather disenchanted middle middle manager
to a fully blown fraudster.
Wonder.
Wonder.
Well, it's interesting.
I can't wait for this story.
Perhaps I had a breakdown.
I had let everything push me even closer to the edge or ever closer to the edge.
I apologize.
I resented so much of what my life had become and felt that I deserved something so much better
than what I had achieved.
Why?
Why do you deserve?
I could see if you were starving and you were like,
God damn it, I'm working my ass off
and I can't even fucking feed my kids.
This is bullshit.
That's a different story.
Right, but he's living a fine life
and he's like, I'm supposed to be unbelievably rich.
Yeah, why can't I feel cool too and have a Ferrari? Because that'm supposed to be unbelievably rich. Why can't I feel cool, too, and have a Ferrari?
Because that's what's about the image.
He just wants to feel cool.
That's what he's been missing his whole life, and he's trying to buy it.
Welcome to the human race, motherfucker.
I was going to say, that's life, motherfucker.
Jesus Christ.
Wow.
The type of asshole that would have shot up a school in 11th grade if he had access to an assault rifle.
You know what I mean?
I just don't know, man. This is is an incels my girlfriend just wasn't hot
enough like i'm sure i had a girlfriend but you know i wanted to fuck her friend and she didn't
want to this is an incels opinion of pussy based on life absolutely same same thing now uh let's
let's uh let it go on a little more here i resented so much of what my life had become and felt that i deserved something so much better than all i had achieved i hated my job quote i wanted revenge on those
whom i felt had done me wrong he's literally an angry nerd yeah it's literally what it is he wants
to fucking show all those people who told him he wasn't cool look how cool i am now motherfucker
even though i'm not right but i'm going to pretend and show you.
Okay.
Wow.
I mean, that's what you would imagine the psychology would be. But for someone to come out and just say it that bluntly, you're like, wow, that is so fucking transparent.
He's got the same attitude as like Kevin Durant.
Only difference is Kevin Durant went to work every day and cultivated his talent a little
better.
His talent and drive.
And this guy's like, I just want to be something I'm not.
Nah.
Fucking bitching.
This is unbelievable.
He said, most of all, I wanted a way out of that meaningless existence.
I wonder how he'd like to talk to his wife about this.
Shrugging shoulders like, the fuck? gotta sit here all time meaningless exists thanks a lot
jesus christ i guess this was a conversation at the house a lot oh yeah i just need to do more
she's like why what this is what the kids are well taken care of and we have a nice life we
went on vacation last winter and he's like no god damn it you fucking bitch i'm not cool
i need to show the guys from the 10th grade what the fuck i've turned into god damn it
don't even have a nickname nothing no uncool that is uncool, man. I wanted revenge on those whom I felt had done me wrong.
That's the line of the whole fucking thing here.
All right, we'll get to it, I'm sure.
I can't wait to hear it.
That is the line, man.
Then he says, quote, most of all, I wanted to, although that's where I was there,
I won't bore you with all the mechanics of how I managed to execute the frauds.
I will later on but
that is a matter of record and for others to pick over like me and you
i won't tell you the details of my crimes oh we will don't worry we'll pick up we got you
covered james it's it's all right check it out here uh he said birds on a carcass oh yeah it's
gonna be what's in there. Oh, a shell company.
Nice job.
He said, quote, rest assured with some experience of the accounting world, the stuff of those quiet water cooler.
How would you do it if you could?
Conversations became relatively easy to enact and sustain.
And so the charade began.
So, yeah, I guess accountants the same way people would be like hey if you get away with
murder how would you do and people have like an idea of well i would kill someone like that
bullshit you know you're not serious it's just bullshit thing michael bolton from the office
going i could fucking rob this company that's exactly what it is and that's what he's saying
it went from how would you do it if you could to ha ha ha to maybe I can do it. Why not? He said, despite that empty promise to myself that it would, quote, just be the once to
prove a point to them all.
What point are you proving?
That's what I think is amazing.
He wants to steal a bunch of money just to prove a point to them all, but he doesn't
want to get caught.
So how would you prove anything unless you got caught?
Well, I mean, yeah, because proving it to them is showing your hand.
Yeah.
Look, I took this from you.
Unbelievable car.
Yeah.
That's what I mean.
But you can't do it.
So what's the fucking point of it?
That's what doesn't make any sense.
What point are you proving?
I'm going to prove to you guys that I can kill somebody by killing this guy.
Yeah.
I'm going to kill this guy.
Don't tell anybody.
I'll be in jail, but you'll know.
Okay.
So, yeah, he said, quote, the arrival of that first stolen amount, close to 50,000 pounds, sitting in my bank account, opened my eyes to a world of possibilities.
Yeah.
One that I was more than willing to enter. There was never a chance that the money would idly sit there, accum interest ready for my retirement it was a passport to the new me the new me yeah yeah he didn't see this as oh good
i'll pay for my kids college and i'll you know yeah he looked this as maybe i'll use this money
to pay off that old golf no i'm gonna piss it away on more Yeah. He said a few lies here, a chunk of deceit there, and the initial cover stories were put in place to ease my passage.
It did not matter who was on the receiving end of the crap that I was dishing out.
The plans were being executed ruthlessly, and nobody was going to be allowed to get in the way.
Makes it sound like he was like fucking, you know, offing people who are getting in the path of his no he wasn't offing people at all like he he really wants an image this guy even the way he
talks about it sounds like he wants to be like this cross between like this cool like you know
dangerous race car driver slash kind of mob bossy like i, I'm a, you know what I'm saying?
Like, don't get in my way.
You know, I'll shit on people.
Meanwhile, he's a fucking, he's just an accountant who stole some money and bought race cars.
Like, it's not as he needs.
He's got a very inflated self-worth and everything else.
So he says the plans are being executed ruthlessly.
No one was allowed to get in the way.
He said, suddenly, the shopping list of my fantasies came very clearly into view.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
Sitting splendidly atop was something red and adorned with that prancing horse badge that I so desired.
Ferrari.
He wants a red fucking Ferrari.
He said those empty weekends of tire kicking, dreaming of the unattainable were no more.
The lure of the Ferrari dealership
in nearby Egham
was almost magnetic.
Rather than the usual nervous shuffle
onto the forecourt to stare
enviously at what lay behind the plate glass
facade. This time I strode
confidently into the showroom with
pockets stuffed full of someone
else's cash.
Wow.
He came in with money in his pocket and said, I'd like to buy that car.
That one, please.
The red one, please.
Yeah, that's fucking wild.
So, yeah, he just decided, I'm going to do it.
And then it sat there.
They didn't like, as soon as he transferred money himself, like nobody came and arrested him or anything.
So he was like, must be OK.
Guess it's mine.
Guess I can do this.
Guess it's fine.
So he kept doing it.
Yeah.
Stuff with someone else's cash.
He describes the experience here.
He said the salesman could have been straight out of the nearby discount carpet retailer, to be honest.
I expected so much more.
Just a sleaze bucket?
Yeah, just a guy like, hey, you want to buy this car?
Rather than you would expect.
Yeah, when you buy a Ferrari, you would expect you go in there,
and they're like, you know.
Put your feet up.
There's a buffet.
Yeah.
You know, like a nice spread.
You don't need to eat anything.
You don't need coffee.
Yeah, some single malt, some scotch, something.
Somebody's going to rub your feet while we do the paperwork for you.
Yeah.
All right.
But no.
So what's your social?
We fill it all out.
You don't have to touch anything.
No.
But this, he said, no, I expected so much more.
A morsel of sycophantic toadying.
He says he wants to get his ass kissed.
Yeah.
That's what he wants.
This is all he wants.
He wants to feel like a guy.
At least a morsel. Yeah. A morsel of what it's like to be a guy who can walk into a Ferrari dealership and
have his ass kissed. And a morsel of sycophantic toadying, champagne, canapes perhaps. Minutes
later, though, I was in the passenger seat as we test rode what would become my first taste of ferraridom my 348 tb rosso corsa and cream
hide to go so yeah he got himself a badass ferrari so that is his first ferrari and uh
he's upset that it wasn't a fancier he wanted it to be like buying a wedding dress this is the male
version because that's exactly what he had in mind is when you see on television and these fancy dress shops women walk in and they're like champagne and they're sitting
there eating i don't know about that one get another one on all their friends are like eating
and drinking champagne i tell you how great you look in the corset top your tits look good in
this one right like they give a dozen women champagne and shit to buy one dress for a couple
grand this is like a fucking as much as a house can you kiss my ass a little yeah kiss my ass a little what the
fuck tell me how huge my cock looks in this so yeah he said uh he gets out in the test drive
he said a sedate exit onto the a30 the highway and within a few miles i was at the helm hell it
felt good i was happily chugging along basking in my newfound inflated ego
when the sales exec volunteered,
go on, Mr. Monroe,
the road is clear here,
put your foot down
and see what she can really do.
Oh, boy.
Which would be fucking fun.
Yeah.
That would be fun.
Go ahead, sir.
Yeah.
Try this car that isn't yours yet.
It's not yours.
Go ahead.
Don't worry if you
wrap it around a pole or kill somebody you know how to not even do you know how to drive a car
very fast a sports car like this a supercar certainly drive it like it isn't yours that's
yeah just go ahead rent like it's a rental beat the shit out of it he said i'm not sure about the
ethics of being encouraged to crack the 100 mile an hour uh plus mark down the dueled
a30 south of egham but it was all that i had imagined and then some who cares about the gearbox
and the clutch seemingly made of lead the rattles and creaks and every other flaw you could imagine
i was driving a ferrari soon to be mine so yeah he just cared about that people saw him in a ferrari
and they go oh that's that what a cool guy in a fer and they go, oh, that's that. What a cool guy in a Ferrari.
Wow.
Why?
What is that?
Why is that worth something to you?
I got none of that.
I got none of that in me.
I mean, I like cool things.
Yeah.
And I'd like to have them.
Maybe.
I don't know.
I don't even know if I'm out of my way for that, though.
No, I'm not stealing for it.
I'll tell you that right now.
I mean, just so people go, hey, look at him.
He's cool.
Like, what the fuck are you doing that just seems so not a not a a meaningful end to what you're going for
like it's not like money like i can see if it's just money and i saved all this money and i'm
gonna fucking me and my wife when the kids go to college we're gonna fucking go down to an island
somewhere and retire and have money that's not what he's doing it's just weird it's it's that is he's literally living nobody's dream nobody's dream is to save a bunch of money and buy
a ferrari no i mean because your kids are like i mean eventually you had to have a vacation or do
something when you buy a ferrari that's because you literally have nothing else to spend your
money on right that's to me when you would buy yeah you're like you have a house you go on
vacation you have a car car full a house full of shit you like of all the stuff and
you're like maybe i got a ferrari it's not like you don't get a ferrari and drive it to your
three-bedroom 1500 square foot house and you'd be like all right now work on the house that's not
how it works ferrari is last like i don't know i just have so much money sitting around i'm bored
i'm bored with it to be honest with you and by the way if there is somebody with has a fucking trailer with a ferrari
in the driveway you're living life back you're doing it wrong you're doing it all wrong you have
the trailer in the driveway of the house that's what you do you're doing it all wrong it's the
equivalent of a trailer and you have a nice place to live you can't do it i say yeah you go house you go places of of residents first right then cars you can't i mean i guess you can sleep in a i imagine
it's uncomfortable though i wouldn't want to sleep in a fucking ferrari probably there's a console
down the middle you can't lay no you're just gonna probably doesn't go back very far they don't want
motors right there they're not teaching you it's not for comfort god damn it this is for speed so he says quote a few days later credit card flexed and i was the proud
and very dishonest owner of the car spinning along the m25 amidst the admiring glances
of the other drivers as i wound my way through the rush hour commute i was a million miles away
in my increasingly duplicitous world
courtesy of the dulcet tones of of the ride of the valkyries pounding out from the cd player
he's literally fucking triumphant yeah he's playing like triumph shit
wow unbelievable as he's devaluing the car all the way home. As he's taking it through rush hour traffic.
So what the fuck did he do exactly to do this?
Well, he joined this company in 1995.
Okay.
This was, you know, when he got this job as the director of accounting.
It took him four years to hatch the master plan.
Three.
Oh, boy.
So pretty quickly, he started setting up bogus companies. He set up several bogus companies listing their addresses as his home
in Wokingham, okay?
That's what he was doing.
And then he began paying invoices
submitted by the companies.
So he would bill the company
from his made-up business
and then he's the accountant
so he would have to pay that account payable.
So yeah, somebody would send the bill, him, and then he would the accountant so he would have to pay that wow that account payable so yeah somebody would be send the bill him and then he would pay the bill he would send himself a bill
and so it looks all legit yeah if you look at the accounting you go well that all that money went
out to companies that have but until you really looked at the actual transactions one by one which
takes companies years to fucking do usually that's what that's why people get away with this shit for years they know how to make it quiet unbelievable you know
how to keep it quiet um so yeah he did that uh the uh the one of the spokesmen for the company said
quote he bought an f1 mclaren racing car and competed in a series of races in the gt championships
he bought a number of expensive prestigious road road cars, along with several historic cars.
He even funded his own racing team.
The whole of his enterprise was funded by the unauthorized payments by McGraw-Hill.
That is so much money.
Oh, it's way to hear how much total.
McGraw-Hill is killing it.
Oh, yeah.
They're a big publishing firm, like a big one.
Yeah.
And so they had enough money to where you could have a few million pounds missing and not notice it um yeah he set up ghost companies like i said he to his
address and the whole deal and he'd have like you know emails that were fake that the whole deal i
mean he set up a whole fraudulent thing and it was the late 90s it was if you knew computers and
other people didn't you could kind of yeah you could do shit. You get away with some shit, basically.
How understanding is his wife?
Yeah, when he drove a Ferrari at home, wasn't she like, where'd you get that?
How did you get a McLaren for a British racing?
I'm sure he lied and said he got investors.
But how did we not have a conversation about how that could better our fucking lives?
We still owe money on a golf, you asshole.
That's on the 14th green over there you should probably uh deal with that so uh yeah he set up he bought ferraris aston martins mclaren um so uh they basically ended up
the once their bosses saw him on tv doing that they were like well that's weird why does he have
a fake name what the fuck's going on?
Let's look into this guy a little bit here.
And they do.
They questioned two payments that were unauthorized that were to his company, to James's company,
and an internal audit was ordered.
And that revealed more than 15 more unauthorized transactions that happened made by Monroe.
Transactions ranging from 46,000 pounds to 555,000 pounds.
Wow.
That's a fuckload of money in one transaction.
15 transactions.
17 total transactions.
What kind of fucking shit is going on there that doesn't flag somewhere?
That is why.
Because it's going out not in a $3 million at once or something if it goes out 46 these are payments they normally
make to people okay so it's it seems legit until you look into it so uh yeah he said uh the bosses
became suspicious over also the amount of sick time he was taking he's in the fight he's fucking
racing he's taking all the sick leave flying on the concord and all this shit he's supposed to be in the office he's supposed to be in the literally in the office
and he's flying on the concord driving ferraris up to his private fucking jet like what are you
doing he's in boy toy magazine yeah it's fucking crazy man he's like it's like at least fucking
lenny dykstra had something to begin with and
then it fell apart and he tried to like piece it back together and he was trying to you know what
i mean trying to make something he had like a legit business that was big before he fucking
fraught defrauded people but this is like he never had shit this guy yeah you know have shells to
move around yeah does it mean like lenny had in lenny's mind i could see him
having a feeling that oh i can get this all back because i sold i had a big business before this
so i know what i'm doing and i'll get this back on its feet so yeah i need to fuck around now and
be a little fraudulent but in six months it'll be fine when i pay everybody back this guy has no
how is he gonna pay it back nope this just zero. Hope I get away with it forever.
Hope they don't notice.
Monroe sounds like a good name.
Wow.
So he's taking a bunch of sick leave.
So they said, hey, why are you taking so much sick leave?
This was before they saw him on television and everything.
And he would give a bunch of excuses, obviously, why he's sick.
Finally, he said that he suffered from a chronic kidney
problem and he didn't want to tell them because he didn't want them to think that he was unreliable
medically and that sort of thing but it's been hard on him and he's been having to go in and
out of the hospital with this chronic kidney problem so you know if the company would be
supportive he'd be ever so great ever so grateful yeah so yeah. But another reason why they knew he was lying was he said that his son, because he has a son, his son was ill, very ill, like gravely ill, and was admitted to the Great Ormond Street Hospital.
And that's why he wasn't at work, because he's at the hospital with his very, not terminally, but life-threateningly sick son at this hospital.
So they're like, wow, that's crazy.
So we'll talk about that in a second here.
Basically, too, of all the money they get that he took later on, they're only going to be able to recover about a third of it, the company, too.
So it's fucking gone.
It's spent. fucking gone it's
spent oh it's spent yeah uh the one of the spokesmen said quote as the director of accounting
he was responsible for the management of the payment system and had detailed knowledge of
the payment process so he even knew how to slow down things and put things in the back for later
this is a bad hire he was in charge of it yeah he was fucking in charge of it for god's sake
so this is crazy but uh yeah
the thing is the uh oh they also said quote he stole the money by means of forging documents
authorizing check payments into accounts controlled by himself the proceeds were used to fund his love
of motor cars now the the son in the hospital very sad and no one wants to hear that well the company
felt terrible and sent flowers to the hospital.
They felt terrible,
but the staff there said, we've never
heard of that boy. We don't know who you're talking about.
That person doesn't exist in this
hospital. So they were like, what the
fuck? What's going on here?
There was around that time that they saw him on
TV. They're like, wait a second.
What the fuck is happening?
So then they started looking into, because is happening so then they started looking into
because there was websites and they started looking into racing websites and saw his picture
saw his picture on names and stuff and they're like okay yeah this is definitely the same guy
what the fuck's been going on and they found out from the website that he wasn't he reason why he
wasn't at work wasn't because his son is sick in the hospital he's running the lamont he had a
fucking race that weekend literally that's what it was he had a race that weekend uh so he ended up getting in total 2.8 million pounds out
of these poor people that's all it costs that's all it costs so he could compete there it was only
for like five races he was in uh yeah they uh uh he's then they find out they he's obviously
arrested 2.8 million put up front can get you a whole bunch of shit.
That's what I mean.
A lot of credit, too.
Yeah, you can put this down and get that.
Yeah, you put $50,000 down, they'll give you a $200,000 car.
Absolutely.
That's how he did it, yeah.
Oh, Jesus.
He's not going to fucking pay it back.
Who the hell does he care?
He's stealing the money to begin with.
I don't think credit's his concern.
No, I'll hit that payment next time I dip.
Yeah, fuck him.
So, yeah, they ended up obviously contacting the authorities, and he's arrested for this whole deal.
Oh, boy.
He's jailed for what they called planned and determined deception, is what they called it over there.
In interviews, he admitted to police that all the funds, he did it all.
He said, yeah, I took it.
Yeah, absolutely.
He said he was disillusioned with his job and wanted to quote step it up yeah that's what he told the
cops also officer have you seen a lamborghini they're fucking sweet they're sexy they're sexy
officer i'm telling just come for a ride in one i really feel like you'll understand better
the ferrari it's asking for it it's just asking for it so i uh then the company spokesperson
says he bought three aston martins a ferrari 348 tv a benetton f1 racing car a ferrari 550
two mclaren f1s a jaguar xjr a mercedes e55 a mercedes clk and a mercedes e320 he also bought
a mercedes c180 for his team racing driver chris goodwin
yeah just as a present that's the cheap one that's the cheap yeah the c2 ducati motorcycles
were also bought for the men in the pits as well as private motor car plates and a concord trip
for the race team to visit canada pissing money away that concord trip is probably the most
expensive thing he bought oh yeah he's got an f5
those are probably 10 000 a ticket and he spent all put the whole team over there which is fucking
crazy um yeah they jesus christ uh this is his lawyer i believe yeah uh uh oh no this is the
prosecutor peter warn he says quote monroe describes himself or his creation as a monster
which he could not stop he appears to
have gained an immense adrenaline rush from what was in effect a double life he became racked with
guilt and wretched oh boy i don't think he was racked with guilt at all i feel like he was loving
his life and he's like fuck it's stopping now no this is perfect are you trying to tell me right
now james and lawyer uh and lawyer being rich kicks ass?
Is that what you're telling me?
Get the fuck out of here.
I mean, it sounds logical.
Wow.
So he ends up in court admitting 17 counts of transfer by deception and three counts of procuring the execution of a valuable,
a valuable security as well.
Uh,
the judge told him,
quote,
this was a serious and continued breach of trust carried out over a substantial period executed by false documentation.
You,
sir,
may fuck off five years in prison.
He only got five years,
five years. He got it for that. I'm trying to fucking figure only got five years for that. Five years he got for that.
I'm trying to fucking figure out if that's worth it.
You know what I mean?
Well, that was 2000, mid-2000.
March 2003, he's released from prison.
That's almost worth it.
Yeah.
A couple of years.
I might do it.
Just to have that kind of life for a while.
I might do it if I'm in his shoes.
You know, you could spend your whole time in jail just telling people how great it was. Right. The last few years of your life. do it just to have that kind of life for a while i might do it if i'm in his shoes you know you
could spend your whole time in jail just telling people how great it was right the last few years
of your life you understand i was fucking you let me tell you about my cars again hold on wait just
everybody gather around and tell you about my car collection i mean you'd never have a more
captive audience going yes asking for it fuck man yeah dude it's fucking crazy so five years
in prison but he's released about half of
that march 2003 he's released uh he gets a job when he gets out yeah i don't know who the fuck
is gonna hire this guy uh someone hires him a company called automotive skills okay okay uh
now automotive skills is not what it sounds like it sounds like it's like a almost like a race car
driving firm or something
a website designed to help you get out of speeding tickets yeah well it's actually a department of
transportation yeah a department of transport as they call it funded charity that promotes
training in the motor industry so you know for uh jobs basically for training people to
be mechanics and shit like that so And he's their accounting guy.
He's given free reign over the funds of this entire charity,
this government-funded charity.
Oh, my God.
Not great, right?
So, hey, what?
He's fully rehabilitated.
Did they not do a background check?
Everything's fine.
It's all good.
His salary is 63,000 pounds a year okay which is not bad
year 2003 they're not too shabby here uh so okay so what he does here is uh this is fun uh uh
he uh it's supposed to like i said promote the motor industry landed his job but nine months
this was only nine months after he was released
from prison this is all going on uh he within that nine months of working at this place uh he forged
43 checks to himself uh yeah he basically uh he's discovered after the director at automotive skills
saw a website that outlined his previous fraud yeah found him on there and so
he was like well i guess i should look into this guy and he looked he's fucking doing it again
this fucking guy's doing it again get out of here what the fuck uh yeah this motherfucker he was he
he started stealing from them too from them too 43 checks he forged in the first uh we'll talk about that in one second here uh yeah he it's un-fucking-believable he suspended that the next day while they investigate and then
he's supposed to turn up for a disciplinary hearing with the company to talk about it and he uh
doesn't show up so they just fire him that month uh so they he ends up being arrested uh when he's arrested he admits to that he leased
a bunch of cars he uh he saw he had a bmw or mercedes a sob uh the all this shit that he had
here they basically here uh estimated that he forged one hundred thousand dollars worth of
a hundred thousand pounds worth of checks and denied stealing
12 000 pounds to buy two chelsea season tickets to go watch soccer claiming they were a legitimate
business expense for entertaining clients like that i bought but that's legit that i actually
did for the company the rest of the shit kind of fucked around a little more than that so i i gotta
lean on the fool me once you know what i mean that's
what i'm saying it's their fucking fault why would you hire this background check
so the court 2003 the court hears that he stole this is from this charity a total of 420 364
pounds wow from the fucking charity uh that is wild and so
in court they talk about yeah you know he was he did this before this is kind of his thing what he
does here uh the judge told him quote your naked greed is breathtaking breathtaking that's why i
love an english judge that's why i love a british judge an american judge would never say your naked
greed is breathtaking they'd say you disgust me right An American judge would never say your naked greed is breathtaking. They'd say, you disgust me.
This guy.
Even if they said your naked greed is breathtaking.
Even if they said your greed is breathtaking.
Not near as much as naked.
You're naked.
It's just fucking transparent.
You're naked.
You, sir.
That's what I'm saying.
That's where that came from.
An angry fucking judge.
So raw.
Yeah.
Well, he forged all these checks to buy a $70,000 Porsche, lease three executive cars,
and rent a 5,000 pound a month cottage.
So he got himself a big house, too, out of this.
Yeah.
He was hooking himself up.
This is on a 63,000 pound a year job.
He's doing.
So the rent in the cottage is his entire salary.
And so. Yeah. Taxes out. It's even more. So, yeah. He can't even afford just his rent. year job he's doing so the rent in the cottage is his entire salary and so yeah yeah taxes out
it's even more so yeah he can't even afford just his rent and he's got all the cars and he's got
a porsche too on top of it so uh sometimes you gotta get the perks it's that's wild man so
four hundred thousand fucking dollars um yeah so jesus man. So he didn't mention the jail term when he applied for this job.
He didn't say he's been arrested for, you know, fraud fraud before.
That's why they didn't know anything about it.
And so, uh, didn't mention that.
Uh, he said, uh, quote, this is what the guy from the charity said.
Quote, he also provided two ref, uh, referees, I think references and, um, and mobile phone
numbers.
It's now believed that Mr. Monroe
was on the other end of the phone
on both of these occasions.
He gave fucking references, phone numbers,
two numbers he had,
and then pretended to fucking be his references.
Oh, that's amazing.
Dude.
He's going to put on a female voice.
Yeah.
Hello.
Oh, James is a wonderful accountant, yes.
Oh, he did all our money.
He's wonderful.
Oh, I'd trust him with anything.
Oh, in case he doesn't work out with you,
I'll tell him if he can please come back and work for me again.
He was so wonderful.
He's so personable.
He's just personable.
Honest as the day is long.
Honest. Just a a wonderful honest gentleman it's a gentleman uh no so yeah he's just i love this though this is a this is the
if you're gonna do it i guess go big yeah go try and fool people i guess so uh this woman also said
quote the people concerned had no knowledge
of being referees for him so he made up names or he had real names of real people in real companies
yeah he just pretended to be them unbelievable so that's the fucked up part here uh yeah he
admitted uh obtaining a an advantage by deception three charges of obtaining services by deception,
and two counts of theft.
He did deny the one count of theft, saying that that was legitimate.
Those soccer tickets, we needed those.
Come on.
I went to the games.
I did that for the company.
I mean, yes, sometimes I was defrauding the company, but I also did my job.
I mean, Jesus, I did entertain clients.
He did that.
He also denied four counts of obtaining services by deception and 11 counts of obtaining property by deception, which they didn't proceed with those.
They were like, we got him on these.
That's good enough.
His defense attorney said, quote, he owed some money and he decided to pay off his credit card.
Once it started, he went on to commit these offenses.
Decided to pay off his credit card.
Once it started, he went on to commit these offenses.
That's just... It's like he just...
He started innocent.
He was going to pay off his credit cards.
But then, I mean, once it was easy...
I'm blown away.
It's fucking wild.
He says he has always been involved in driving cars on the racing track.
And when he found himself in the position of being able to obtain cars he could
not resist yeah so yeah no shit he did this fucking before good christ so uh yeah this is uh
a little less than fucking five hundred thousand dollars uh for that and he is again sentenced to
prison he's again sentenced to you sir again may fuck off for another five years how do they own it should be more now
you did it again and this is from charity this is worse way worse this is worse this isn't from
some fucking company this is you know this is a charity that doesn't have the the means it's a
government-funded charity like that's a you're stealing from taxpayers at that point way worse
it's different you stole from the whole country instead of stealing from you know mcgraw and hill
you didn't stick it to the man you stuck it to the queen and god damn it nobody around here sticks it to the nobody
now now with this that's why harry has no hair he was gonna get plugs but this guy stealing from
charity now jesus christ bullshit man so he does a couple of years in jail okay again they release him early when he gets out of jail
his the first thing he's trying to do is he's going to publishers i assume not mcgraw hill
probably probably left them out of the fucking rain but going to all of these other publishers
trying to get a book deal basically he's saying he's calling it this is how he's
selling it too this guy is amazingly full of shit he's selling it as an inspirational tale oh boy
how who are you inspired you just got out of prison it's not like he got out of prison and
then he went on to like you know have his own charity that helped lots of kids he didn't he
was a fraud twice and went to prison twice and just got out
what's inspiring about that i don't get what the fuck that is you too can be full of shit
and only do 10 years and only do like fucking five really you get sentenced to 10 but you're
only doing five the place that he defrauded was called mcgraw hill that was the publisher that's
hysterical that that is faith hill and yeah yeah wasn't Yeah. Wasn't it McGraw Hill? Was that the name?
I think it is.
I thought it was, too.
McGraw.
I'm going to look at it now.
I've got to look back now.
I'm pretty sure it was fucking McGraw Hill.
That's hysterical.
Goddamn name of the place.
McGraw and Faith Hill's publishing company.
And they're also English publishers now.
You didn't know that.
He's trying to get a fucking book deal.
That's a big deal for him.
Trying to get a book deal.
Trying to get a book deal.
He's going literally to every publisher in England besides McGraw Hill looking for a deal,
which really they'd be the ones who think they'd want to publish it the most if they
could put their own notes into it.
Maybe they can make the money back.
Yeah, we're going to put some liner notes in this bitch for you, okay?
This is some stuff that you're not totally truthful on.
Maybe you can pay some restitution with this.
No shit.
So he's, you know, at no shit so he's he's you
know at this point he's got no cars anymore yeah he's literally he's like walking he's got nothing
right he's taking the bus he went from ferrari to bus and he's taking the he's busing from place
from publisher to publisher going isn't it inspiring you're like what you're a fucking
you're a liar is that inspiring not really
i don't know lindler yeah you're just a liar that's all you are i mean the cars that's kind
of cool and shit if you got some pictures i'll look at them but other than that i don't want
to deal with you you lie so much how are we supposed to believe this book is true yeah
that's the thing who the fuck knows what he's doing so he starts to get a little depressed
about the whole thing he starts to get a little despondent as you would imagine as anybody whether you're a scumbag or not yeah if you you know end
up you're you know you had you were here and now you're here it's bad it's successful peddling
your bullshit now you're not now it sucks it's bad for your psyche so he's just sitting around
he doesn't know what to do with himself um he ends up like i said publisher to publisher he
ends up in and uh he's in london
uh looking for a publisher and he ends up in uh i don't care fuck what is the name but i didn't put
it down for some reason it's a big park in london that i don't know the name of oh big park there
what's mr abby yeah he's right on the front lawn the queen's looking out the window i don't know
if that's where now buckingham is yeah but either way someone's looking out the fucking i just did this like they have fucking blinds like they have blinds at the fucking
at buckingham palace they have vertical blinds everybody not even bird like mini blinds yeah
horizontal minis like who's on the lawn now oh him again i don't think that happened keep an eye
on that soldier i believe he moves don't lose your ball i'm keeping it it comes over the hedge it's mine it's mine
now off with you off with you guys so he's sitting in the park he doesn't know what to do
and he's just despondent you know and um you know he's he like he cars are passing by and he hears the rumble of cars.
He's like, oh, that's a Ferrari I can feel.
And blood starts to go up.
And then he hears a different noise.
He hears dogs barking in the distance.
And they get closer and closer.
Wouldn't you know it, it's Bobby Colorado,
animal trainer from Fredericksburg, Texas.
And he says...
How is it you come to arrive here?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Seriously, what do you got at this life?
Let me ask you.
I know a lot of people.
A couple of guys a little bit shady here and there.
I've met them in my day.
You know how it is.
You bump into them.
You know what I mean?
And I got to tell you, all of them, if they had a nice house, nice car, you know, I got
the wife's not fucking bitching at you, complaining,
because you got all bills piled up, all this shit, they'd be fucking happy.
That's why they're going out there doing all this garbage.
You, you got it all.
We need a fucking car.
You don't need a fucking book.
Right.
You need a fucking book and Ferrari.
You know what you need?
A nice dog.
You need a nice dog.
You tell him about your problems.
He'll look at you, lick your fucking face.
You know what I mean?
He'll be so impressed.
He'll be so impressed.
So inspired.
It's inspired.
You don't care what kind of car you got.
You got a Toyota Camry, you'll hang his fucking head out the window with as much pride as
if it was a Ferrari.
You know what I mean?
So if you need something, I got you covered right here.
But I don't know, because you'll probably lie to the dog and leave it somewhere and
sell it to somebody, tell them it's a special dog.
I'm going to take my dogs and go,
never mind, get the fuck out of here.
Poof.
And in a cloud of marinara sauce and dog shit, he's gone.
Get yourself a Toyota Ferrari.
A Toyota Ferrari.
You're going to love it.
James is quite confused.
He has no idea what's going on here.
So, yeah, we do talk a little more to him,
and he has a little bit more to this interview,
which is fucking hilarious, by the way.
He he says that this is amazing.
2011.
This interview takes place right after the Bobby Colorado incident.
So it's a little shaken up.
He says around 10 years ago, I hit the headlines of the national media as a convicted thief
of some largesse.
That's some way tose. Good Lord.
Some way to put it.
Yeah.
A fraudster.
It was not the usual tale of someone wandering around with a pocket full of someone else's
cash.
Didn't he tell literally a tale of walking in with someone, a pocket full of someone
else's cash is the exact word to use.
Verbatim.
Not that tale.
Acquiring the usual list of Range Rover and a couple of other exotics for the
driveway no this was something on a considerably larger scale no shit this was my flawed odyssey
into the world of supercar ownership and professional motor racing it may have been
the dream for many uh it proved to be a nightmare for the countless victims all of whom became
unwittingly dragged into my life.
It all climaxed in my eventual downfall
and inevitable spell behind bars,
courtesy of Her Majesty.
That's nice.
Courtesy of you, you dick.
Yeah, you dick.
Don't blame her.
I think she provided him with food.
Okay.
And a place.
Yeah.
He says, quote,
I am not going to deny that for the most part,
I have had the time of my
life well that's nice to know it's been so fun bro isn't that great but at what cost it did not
even register that what i was perpetrating was wrong in any way i had no concept of the eventual
consequences well maybe not the first time probably Probably the second time you did, I'd imagine, because you just got out of jail.
I simply became lost in my own twisted world, driven by a ferocious and ravenous ego, deluded and amoral.
I ruined so many lives, and that will stay with me for years to come, if not forever.
A few may empathize with my story.
Many more will criticize, no doubt.
Yeah.
You got two right here who the fuck is
empathizing with you nobody i don't have empathy for you no i don't i have an asshole yeah i had
empathy and sympathy for james scott who was like thrown in the fucking clink when he's 13 for
truancy like that guy never had a chance you can get empathy and sympathy this guy lived fine fuck
you you're greedy that's it period you had a family yeah you weren't trying to survive and eat you were just being a greedy twat people that loved you yeah it's fucking
bullshit so 2015 um obviously 2011 he's out of jail he does this interview he's kind of quiet
for a couple years don't know much of what he's doing until 2015 and then 2015 he gets a job. Oh, God. He is hired for 65,000 pounds a year as the finance director.
Wow.
Who would give this guy access to a fucking dime?
I wouldn't let this guy run a cash register.
Yeah, now they don't have any excuse.
No, it's twice.
He's out doing interviews talking about it.
And it's 2015.
Yeah, you can do...
Google exists like a motherfucker.
That's what i mean because
i've known of this guy since 2016 since we started this fucking show so if i knew just by looking
some shit up for looking for criminal athletes you must really fucking know about him um yeah
it's 65 000 pounds a year finance director at the west cumbria based uh it's bec britain's energy
coast it's called it's a cumbria-based regeneration
agency okay i don't know some sort of electric utility company there you go you would know that
yeah so bec is jointly owned by the nuclear decommissioning authority allerdale borough
council copeland council and cumbria county council all sound pretty important it sounds
like a piggy bank james. Yeah. Holy shit.
Yeah, kind of.
You can see that.
Now, August of 2015, he is asked to leave his position in August of 2015.
Because 2016, we find out why.
In May of 2016, we find out that he falsified his resume, obviously falsified his CD CV and invented references again.
They called him.
He did the same shit again.
He just did it again.
And he got the same job.
Same fucking salary.
Same.
I just got back into his life.
Yeah.
He gave bonus bogus email addresses for references.
He answered him the whole fucking deal.
What?
Jesus Christ, man. email addresses for references he answered him the whole fucking deal uh what jesus christ man
what he ends up doing here is uh he uses this uh to steal uh he funnels 40,687,000 pounds of public
money into his own shit he bought a jaguar and then used uh then used it to trade in for other cars, including a BMW and two Mercedes, he ends up with.
So this fucking guy, he's like in the old casino, like in the old Vegas casinos that they caught you cheating.
They break your hand with a fucking hammer.
Someone needs to break both his feet with a sledgehammer so he can't drive anymore.
Otherwise, he's coming back with a fake mustache next week.
That's what I mean.
This is crazy.
He needs both his feet broken so he can't get on that gas pedal because he is addicted
to that shit.
This is unbelievable.
Yeah.
When he's arrested, he is found in a Premier Inn, which is not Premier.
No.
It's a Premier Inn, which is a shit motel.
Okay.
It's like here.
It's like a hostel.
Super 8 isn't very super.
It's one of
those the premiere in isn't premiere vip nails you'll never see beyonce nope fuck no uh so yeah
he's living there and uh he must hand over all property found in his possession to the energy
company for that this includes a mercedes c180 three mobile phones because he's got to answer
his references yeah a laptop,
and a wireless computer mouse.
They even got that in there.
He's got a wireless mouse.
He's taking it.
This rich motherfucker.
One triple A battery in here.
Taking it.
Rechargeable.
Rechargeable.
That's a good one.
Put it in my remote.
Cox also must give up, because now he's just Cox now.
He's not even Monroe anymore.
Oh, brutal.
That's how they know who he is.
He must also give up a set of silver aspinal cufflinks that he was given by colleagues upon his departure from BBC.
When he was fired, they gave him a going away present, and he has to give those back.
It's part of his severance.
No, no, it wasn't even that. It was the other employees got him a going away present and he has to give those back as part of his severance no no it wasn't even that it was the other employees got him a going away gift oh what and he has to give that back he has to give that to the company even because it was do you hear
why james got fired i did what do you think i think we got to get those cufflinks back we should
get them yeah we got to get them back now jesus christ man um yeah he uh he managed to acquire the money by forging a signature to
authorize a loan of more than 140 000 to a local company but only a hundred thousand dollars of the
borrowing had been agreed so he took a hundred thousand gave it to them and took 40 and kept it
for himself that's what he fucking did and he used that to buy a jaguar dude i don't even feel bad for these companies now
like the first one fine yeah the second one i mean no but i'll even give you the second one
but the third one that's their fault fuck you no you do better research i'm almost on the side of
like leave him out of jail and anybody anybody frauded by him deserves it.
At this point, you're on your own.
That's what I mean.
Like, he's not even, you should know, fuck it.
If you're going to hire anyone to handle all of your company's money, you should look into that person, even if you don't think they're a felon.
Because it's all the money that they have can do this shit.
So, I mean, yeah, I don't even fucking, I mean, the charities, obviously mean the charities obviously that sucks defrauded from charities and government money and shit like that i mean yeah i feel bad
for all these people jimmy but not nearly not nearly as bad as i feel for all these people
named james cox named james monroe with a u and everything lord yeah it's rough it's rough uh
james monroe warehouse supervisor at scholastic book fairs
he's even doing something nice in the new york city area here uh james monroe
isn't that nice people that take forever to get to your book oh yeah it's six weeks
to get you a fucking hardy boys novel in the second grade what is going on here
my curious ge George is late.
Get it going into eighth grade.
No shit.
James Monroe, director of cybersecurity.
Could have used him in Guildford, United Kingdom.
And he's right there.
Could have used that guy. Maybe hire him instead.
James Monroe, railroad manufacturer professional in the United States.
Are we still building railroads?
We're calling him that?
I thought we had all our rails down already.
I didn't think we were still building that.
I thought we did that, I don't know, 140 years ago or so, right?
At the expense of many, many people.
Especially the Chinese.
What was that guy's name?
Which one?
This one here.
Monroe, James Monroe.
Oh, yeah, James Monroe, obviously.
Not nearly as bad as I feel for this guy.
Todd Kim.
It's just some guy.
Fuck him.
Can you imagine that?
Who I just picked out other random names.
Wait, James, he doesn't have the same?
No, no.
I just feel bad for him because he builds railroads.
Yeah, it's just a shit job.
That's all.
That's what it'll be from now on.
It's going to be a few people with the same name and then one person who I just feel bad
for because their job sucks.
I mean, I really feel bad for all these people.
And this guy.
I mean, his life sucks.
Not for the same reasons, but yeah.
His life sucks.
See, railroad manufacturer professional.
Unbelievable.
James Monroe, president at Pickens Cane Companies in greater Chicago area.
James Monroe, ministry consultant at Gateway Church in Dallas-Fort Worth.
Come on.
Pray for him.
He swindles twice.
James Monroe, a tech at Valvoline Instant Oil Change in Portland, Oregon.
This has something to do with cars.
I hope that's what his job is today. That's what should be he likes cars you can fucking play with him and look at
him and all that you get to test drive him when you're a mechanic go do that shit to see if it
works now there you go you can test that's get a job at some high-end mechanic there you go uh so
yeah uh the police were called with this other company, the B.C., called by Chief Executive Michael Pemberton after suspicions were raised during a detailed audit.
He admitted to fraud charges and four counts of transferring criminal property.
Now, a statement from B.C., the spokeswoman said, quote, We thank our police force for its approach, proactive approach in this case.
With this being an ongoing criminal case, we're unable to comment any further.
Then they commented further.
Yeah.
They went to then and then they said, quote, he is clearly a dishonest person.
Well done.
Plus, he's a flight risk and has no local ties because they asked, how do you feel about
him being held with no bond?
And they were like, yeah, great.
Clearly, he's full of shit.
If he gets around anyone and can somehow take their money and put it with his great clearly he's full of shit if he gets around anyone
and can somehow take their money and put it with his money he's gonna fucking do it so who cares
so yeah he's remanded to custody he has no bail no nothing uh in court he admits the six offenses
like we talked about committing fraud to get the job is one of them because it's a it's a public
job so you can't uh you know whatevertaining money through fraud and four counts of transferring
criminal property, the Carlisle
Crown Court heard
he bought a Jaguar after forging
a signature for a loan agreement,
obtained 40,687
pounds, and
the court heard that he was employed there
and he was in negotiations
with a local firm about giving the 100,000.
They did that whole thing, the $100,000 and the $40,000.
Yeah, so on closer inspection, the signature used for the $40,000 transfer
bore no resemblance to the one on file for the legitimate client.
And that's when they noticed that it was probably forged.
Who could have forged it? Only this guy.
That's what it was.
Who does that a lot?
Who's the guy?
We got a forgy guy in here somewhere.
They said it was found that $40,490 had been transferred to the Jaguar company and paperwork was with Mr. Cox.
So kind of hard to get that.
And he then exchanged a part exchange to Jaguar XK for a BMW and then for two separate Mercedes cars between May and August.
So he needed to get like new ones all the time.
And he was bored with a car.
Yeah.
So his defense attorney, this poor bastard, he tells the court that Cox is an educated single man because I'm sure his wife is divorced.
Oh, she's long gone.
Long gone with a degree in accounting and finance which the judge has said yeah that's the problem
right he knows how to do this shit he also the defense attorney continues uh he had no he has
no assets whatsoever he has no accommodation and as of his release from custody will be of no fixed
abode he's got nothing except what he steals right if only he would have just done his fucking job
and made 65 000 pounds a year he could have lived fine. What the fuck is he doing?
For the last 15, 20 years.
It's fucking ridiculous.
So following the hearing, the guy that turned him in, Mr. Pemberton, he told the newspaper that it would be basically what they got from him taken back will be sold in an attempt to get as much of the $40,000 back as they can.
He estimated, though, the figure will probably be more in the ballpark of $15,000
is what they're going to get back.
And he also stressed the need for much more rigor with their recruiting process,
you think, or any at all, just any.
Just, you know, run a name through the Google.
Just a quick Google search.
Yeah, that's all you really need to just run it through,
and you could have done it.
He also, Pemberton, the in charge and who turned him in said he had mixed feelings following the sentencing because he's going to get as we'll
talk about in a second here uh well might as well let's sentence him now well we'll sentence him in
a second we'll get back to the quote in a second here um let's see here uh detective inspector
detective inspector detective inspector dan san quentin
detective inspector dan i like that of the cumbria police said quote i welcome the sentencing this
successful prosecution was brought about by the hard work of west cumbrian detectives working
closely with britain's energy coast and avon and somerset police how dare you how dare the ceo
blew the whistle.
You guys didn't do shit.
You looked at it afterwards and cuffed him.
We're amazing.
Yeah.
We are the fucking best.
Then he says, quote, this is the judge here.
James Cox has stolen over $40,000 from a fund set up to help communities in Cumbria that
need it most.
He's put jobs and community projects at risk.
He has used this money to fund a lifestyle he could
not afford. I ask all companies
and charities to be diligent when they take on
new clients or staff. Check CVs,
follow up references, and
report any suspicions quickly.
Britain's Energy Coast did this
so they were able to catch Cox.
All reports we receive will be treated
sensitively and seriously.
You, sir, may fuck off six years in prison.
Okay.
An extra year.
Six years for 40 grand.
Six years for 40 grand.
That hurts.
That hurts.
Yeah, yeah.
But it's his third time.
So, I mean, that's, you know.
Should have given him a lot more.
That's not too shabby.
That was in 2015?
That was 2015.
Oh, boy.
So, he's out by now.
Yeah.
Now, let's see what dude said.
Yeah, he talks about this. He said, Pemberton Yeah. Now let's see what dude said. Yeah. He talks about this.
He said Pemberton said he had mixed emotions about the sentencing.
He said, yes, he has got six years, but actually he has defrauded the communities of Allerdale
and Copeland to 40,000 pounds.
Yes.
I'm happy we caught him.
Yes.
I am over the moon that he got six years, but I'm disappointed that we're not able to
provide the communities with the value that we said we would.
Poor bastards. So, yeah, he's still in there. Six offenses. Fra able to provide the communities with the value that we said we would poor bastards so uh yeah he's still in there six offenses fraud to get the job money through fraud
all that type of shit can't get enough yeah of james cox well you can have a piece of him oh
piece of history because it was for sale uh that mclaren was for sale really his mclaren how much
his mclaren not only was it for sale it also was owned by
rowan atkinson really he bought it in the no kidding he bought it in like 2000 late 2000s i
want to say and then he ended up uh he ended up uh uh selling it and it ended up being there so
yeah i love him this uh let's see here here's a thing about the car uh okay this is about this
car prior to the long tail the racing world world had the McLaren F1 GTR.
This formidable racer dominated the world of motorsports in 1995.
It even managed an overall victory at the 1995 24 Hours of Le Mans, which we've talked about, beating out purpose-built prototypes.
However, in 1997, when the BPR Global GT Series, oh boy, FIA GT Championship ended, that's too long of a title.
The rules for the GT1 class changed when the Porsche 911 GT1 already ahead of the F1 GTR technologically and the Mercedes CLK GTR nipping at its heels.
McLaren needed to do something.
Drawing from its rich motorsport past, especially in Formula One, McLaren engineers got to to work the most obvious change to the f1 gtr is the body work no longer would it have a stubby
nose and a flat rear instead it got instead to get the most aerodynamic advantage possible
engineers stretched the car 25 inches this earned the nickname of the long tail uh the long tail
didn't gain any weight though in fact it lost over 430 pounds over the F1 GTR.
This brought the total mass down to 2017 pounds, which is interesting.
Other changes came with the rework of the BMW V12 as well.
It's originally built for Parabolica Motorsports.
Its main claim to fame is the first long tail to win a race.
its main claim to fame is the first long tail to win a race according to racing sports car uh the race uh that race was the british gt silverstone which our guy ran twice on april 6 1997 with gary
ailes and chris goodwin at the wheel chris goodwin is his other driver right so he must have bought
the car and the driver that fucking came with it unbelievable which is a smart move he knows the
car and he won a race with it, so why not?
During 1997,
that same chassis went on to compete in the 24 Hours of Le Mans
with other long tails.
However, the fortune wasn't on its side,
and it never finished the race.
Here we go.
The car met an unfortunate end, though.
The owner in 1999 was James Cox,
a.k.a. James Monroe,
who fraudulently embezzled millions of pounds
to set up an F1 team.
That team never happened, and Cox ended up in jail.
Well, it did happen, and he was in some races three times.
According to Road & Track, the chassis 27R eventually ended up on the Tom Hartley JNR site in 2015.
However, instead of being sold, the F1 GTR made its way to lonzante in hampshire uk while
there the longtail got a full-on restoration bringing it back to pre-motorsport condition
complete with new lark livery okay in addition to the restoration the company also made modifications
to make the longtail road legal yes you read that right you can legally drive a car that competed
in lamaze on british road Awesome. That's fucking crazy.
The car is for sale without any word on price.
That's the thing.
It's like a private whatever.
However, the last long tail that sold went for around, one take a guess?
1.4?
13 million.
Huh.
What?
So a number in the ballpark isn't out of the question.
13 million dollars?
They're super rare.
And they're from 25 years ago.
So he's trying to sell this. This is his car him this is his car but someone else other people own it so whoever's owning it is going to
sell it for an unreasonable amount of money the money that all the money more money that he ever
stole he ever stole and could ever even have fucking dreamed of stealing but that is james
monroe slash cox everybody wow what a weird fucking story right that's james he's gonna
steal again oh he's definitely gonna steal again he's got nothing else to do he's no interest in
trying to make it legal he's never tried before so uh yeah that's a just a one of those stories
from like that's such a weird story and so outside of what we normally do that we had to do it he's
so young he's young too yeah 66 he he's not like he's an old guy.
He's in his 50s right now, and he's a mess.
He's already got three fucking times.
He did the same thing, and it's always just a little longer.
He waited that last time, but still, he just didn't have the opportunity.
That was it.
Unreal.
It's like as soon as he has the opportunity to steal, he's going to steal.
Yeah.
So, yeah, that's that.
And don't worry.
We'll get back to, by the way, next week we're off.
We're taking next week off.
Small town murder we're going to do.
But we crime.
It's no crime in sports next week.
We are off next week.
Honestly, we just we fucking need it.
We need a fucking week, man.
We're just overwhelmed with with shows and shit and spend some family time and have a day with that.
And we'll be back on for small town murder that week.
But one week off and then we're coming back and we have an NFL player and we got wrestling coming up, of course, in the in one of the first two weeks back.
So don't worry.
Some crazy ass stories coming back here.
But you can digest this one for a couple of weeks because it's fucking weird.
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that would be nice uh yeah i mean i know we have nashville coming up in a few weeks but let's face
it that ain't gonna happen yeah it's not fucking happening no way that's gonna no way that's
fucking happening hugh glee just almost died yeah and that was in yeah and that by the way they were doing third full rooms that too we have sold out shows so i don't
know how he'd cram 300 people into a fucking tiny room hope he rebounds fast i don't know well he
was asymptomatic of covid it wasn't that he passed out from dehydration and then they were like oh
by the way you also have this right oh shit really fuck so uh yeah and i'm sure through all of his
particles he was spreading it all throughout the crowd.
Oh, it's everywhere.
Which we don't want to do, obviously.
It's all over Nashville now.
Yeah.
That's what I mean.
So we don't want to do that, obviously.
So hopefully at some point we'll have live shows.
You buy the tickets.
And whenever we do have live shows, you'll have tickets.
You will.
Whenever they reschedule, they just move all the ticket holders over.
So you don't have to turn them in and get new ones or cancel them or any shit like that.
So that's good.
Get your tickets there. And I promise you guys, we miss the fun, too. We really do. We can't wait to get them in and get new ones or cancel them or any shit like that. So that's good. Get your tickets there.
And I promise you guys, we miss the fun, too.
We really do.
We can't wait.
It's so much fun for us.
Honestly, it's good for our egos.
It's nice to go out there and do live shows.
And see all of you guys.
It's crazy.
We're comics.
This is weird for us to talk and not get any laughs back.
So to go out on the road, that feels normal for us to get the laughs back from an audience and all that kind of shit so it hurts us physically and mentally to not do this
and financially like a motherfucker so just brutal it's brutal so uh speaking of that by the way
financially if you want to be a friend of the show bigger than that a producer of the show
let's say you want to have jimmy mispronounce your name at the end of the show. We can do that. All of the lives.
You want more?
You want extra stuff?
We can do that, too.
We have tons of bonus stuff, man.
Tons of bonus stuff on Patreon.
Patreon.com slash crime and sports.
If you're over the $5 level, you can get all the bonus episodes, not only from crime and
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And it's a lot of different stuff.
Like we do.
Like we did the classified ads.
We do like that. We do the prisoner dating game the best mini stories things like that this week crime and
sports patreon episode is all about the wwe now but wwf when it happened their ring boy scandal
which if you hear ring boy scandal gross it sounds gross and it i guess it's not even as gross as it
actually is it's pretty
gross so uh it's a big scandal that they had in the early 90s that kind of got settled and pushed
under the rug and it's uh it's out there and it's wild that that shit happened and people are still
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If you just want to be, you know, just a person with good karma who, you know, wants to show
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do that very easily we're at crime and sports on twitter and facebook and we are at small town
murder on instagram that's how that works jimmy you know what i need yeah it's been you know it's
been quite the week it's been a long week and a lot of research and stuff i need more than anything
the list of the best people in the people who would never embezzle millions of
pounds from us just so they could drive fancy cars.
Jimmy, tell me who these wonderful people are right now.
This week's executive producers are James Kowalski, Sheila McGann, Shannon Feltus, Nathan
Davidson, Kimberly Radisky, Michelle Hayes, Erica Hawk Silberman.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
Jordan Bennett again.
Thank you, Jordan.
Hey, thanks, Jordan. Cheryl Wright, Chr birthday. Jordan Bennett again. Thank you, Jordan. Hey, thanks, Jordan.
Cheryl Wright.
Chrissy Ann Castaldi, thank you very much.
Rebecca Boddy.
Della Reganweather, I think.
Erica Anderson.
Grace Robichaux.
No.
David Mahe.
David James.
Britt Smith.
Valerie Anderson.
Lisa Adams.
Cohen McPherson.
Kathy Monks.
Courtney Cox.
And Ashley Scarlett.
Thank you all very, very much.
Other producers this week are Andrew Lamont,
happy birthday, Joey Conway,
Ashley Veo,
Larry Butterfast,
Gara Bedian,
Annabelle Jenkins,
Shelby Mertens,
no, yeah,
Caleb Palmer, Thomas Smith,
Philip Brady.
Trevor Christensen.
Graham Wilson.
Rehiba Mohsen.
Lloyd Settles.
For what?
I don't know.
Feminity RL.
Lori Cook.
Pink Zebra.
TJ Mack.
Amanda Knight.
Sabrina.
TJ.
Sabrina with no last name.
Lynn Lomax.
Steven Grieger.
Kip Soosley. James Martyr. Liz Vasquez, Sherry McPherson, Brittany Crooks-Wood, Caleb Wiener, Peyton Meadows, Anna Lee, Aniki Hlady, Marianne Reffet, Andrea Will, Jordan Gerlich, Gustavo Cheesetoe, Janice Hill, Kristen Bellinger,
Helen Barris, Buster Cherry.
No, it's not.
You fucker.
Aaron Gregg, Ethan Stowers.
I saw that one.
I was like, ah, Jimmy.
Neil Jones, Card Swank, I think.
Cardi?
Peter H.
Zachary, we know the last name, Cristobal Ybarra, Gary
Dinault, Patrick Lewis, Holly Welch, Frankie Fourfingers, oh, Snatch is such a great movie,
Richard Rittinger, Victoria Rossborough, Kevin McDonald, Patrick Baker, Hello Bodega Kitty,
Chrissy Meek, Brad Davis, Stephanie Igoa, Jackie jackie sukup ben with no last name danny heinzy or heens
heinz uh lucas castanen uh pete what is what i do bear uh bazness and badness i've i've got the
word bazness i think that's uh dennis hannigan uh michael's fine uhothing and More, Ramona Holmberg, Andrew Fontaine, Mike Hommel, Raymond Clevenger,
oh, Raymond motherfucking Clevenger, that's what it says, Jason Stuck, Peter Melling,
Wendy Platter, Melissa Allison, Allison Newbold, Linda Denton, Melissa with no last name, Mike Chadwick, Andrew Weil, Neil, Sarah with no last name, Nick Yates, Tracy Renninger again.
Thank you, Jude Kendall, David Oler, Amanda Armstrong, Savannah Preston, Heather Campbell, Shitface McGee, probably not, Caden Putnam. Alyssa Watkins.
Zach Damberger.
Jose Luis Renteria.
Josh Schoffrin.
Jeffrey Helmer.
Travis Douglas.
God damn it.
Jeffrey Dawson.
Guido Van Veen.
Probably not.
Marcy Barnes.
Angela Katrix.
Katrix.
Justin Valencia. Brandon Thomas.. Angela Catrix. Katrix. Justin Valencia.
Brandon Thomas.
Lisa Farnham.
Jessica Wolkowski.
Nancy Moxley.
Jen and Daniel.
Jenna and Daniel.
Hannah Zahn.
Callie Guzman.
Daniel.
No.
Dan Zielkowski.
Sean Burnett.
Damn something Polish. That's from Night shift dylan maloney loran
uh stephen sutherland no southward aaron layman uh nancy pierce kevin danner molly kaufman
jose cabrera mary would know last name timothy burleson, Dakota Hidas, Harry Seward. That sounds like Harry Cunt.
Probably not.
Probably on purpose.
Okay.
Brett Whiteside, Dakota Hidas.
I said that.
Jennifer Lucky, Molly Flowers, Theo Holtman, Emily Trout, Fabiana Barrett, Camille Johnson.
Camille.
Charity Mullen.
Camille. Camille. My wife, Camille Johnson Camille, Charity Mullen, Camille, my wife
Camille, Melanie
Flight, that's Jimmy's impression
of a rapist, my wife
Camille knows that I like the children
it's a rapist
Melanie Flight, I said that
Charity Mullen, Camille Johnson
damn it, Brian Fry
Soundbite, no
Matthew Glencoe, Alfredo Hernandez, Jesse Lewis, Ryan Davis, Carly Farrar, Robert Gwynn, Hunter Drummer, Ashley Yost, Jennifer Hale, Holly, Haley, Hall, I think, Brandy Cobb, Chuck Sechinger, Kayla Rippey, Rip, Ethan Krenzer, no, M. Toulon, Ebony Wiggins, Sam Bilbrey,
Joshua Miller, Sam Little, Kate Manning, Scott Griffith, Carly Burnham, Jennifer Gooch, I'm sorry. Robo Suze. Aaron Marsalis Posey.
Jenny with no last name.
Steve Steph.
Parks.
Conlapa?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Jesse Vaughn.
Alberto with no last name.
Alice Thompson.
Michaela Bassett.
Over in Florida, our lady that is our bodyguard down there.
I'm not going to say her name.
Oh, I love her.
She's always packing.
I love her.
Thank you so much for your sweet email hell yeah uh kenny peace my lady right
there has cesar tapia uh what does it say is a uh he's a medically retired marine cool uh what i
wrote uh looks like something way worse i know exactly i just wanted to say thank you so much
yeah it's our for serving and i'm sorry that I almost called you something way worse.
Leanne Edwards, Christine.
Be careful in the state of Florida.
If you want to bum rush the stage in the state of Florida, a woman will shoot you.
Guaranteed.
Ross Hetherington, Karen Parker, Amy Easton, Steph D., Nick Geersback, Bill R., Marnie
King, Tony Francisco, Kate Nicholas, Brandon Tillotson, Catherine Butterfield,
Sandra Watkins, Jazz and Zeke Brock, Jacinta Edmonds, Ann Chambers, Jake Hurst, Tabitha
McCleary, Terry with no last name, Colin Bruguire, Matt Henslin.
If I go slower, I can get better.
Lauren Pollock, Kimberly Weakley, Cameron Monk, Micahah Shy, Avalon Guarino, Laura Guretti.
No, I don't go smaller.
Don't Watch the Wire, Jimmy.
Caitlin Elisi, Ya Boy Damron, Bella Coe, Crump Peacher.
No, faster is better.
Kim Sims Budnick, Chris Ingersoll.
Don't give your brain time to process this shit, Jimmy.
Peyton Duncan, Leah New, Nathan Smith, Samantha Imanis, Sherry Giemza, Robin with no last name, Erica Knight, Claire Stewart.
Her son, Lucio, rides the train in New York and used to Snapchat me all the time.
Oh, cool.
He has listened to us all four years of high school and is graduating high school.
Congratulations.
Congratulations, Lucio.
Definitely.
Fucking go make us proud.
Change the world.
Travis with no last name.
Just don't get arrested, please.
You truly don't.
Flavia Lee.
What is that?
Flatvia?
No.
Flatula Lee Roth.
That's not real.
And Jessica Baker.
You guys, thank you so much for
everything you do for us we can't do it without you thank you so much everybody honestly for that
uh for everything you do for us it means the world and uh we are going to keep trying to pump those
patreon episodes out and make them more and more and more interesting and uh we want you guys to
feel like you're getting the bargain of your life when you when you sponsor us on patreon that's what
we want content good shit funny shit and uh also you know it's just for all the other shows we do you want to be a
nice person do that you're you're a fucking hero yeah tell you that right now fam jimmy what if
you are someone's hero how could they tell you that they possibly know at wisman sucks w-h-i-s-m-a-n
sucks that's where over there on instagram and twitter both what wow find them there and if you
don't i understand what about you they're somewhere i'm at jimmy p is funny or you can just figure out
how to spell my name and do it that way copy and paste it's make itself make it easier on yourself
there and uh thank you so much for listening to this crazy shit story what a fucking run it's a
fucking wild one so remember everybody if you i get if you're into cars that's fine yeah you don't need to be that into cars to where you would embezzle he cars were
cracked to this guy literally we've had people on the show do less for hardcore crack addictions
than this guy did here so it's wild but uh otherwise thank you guys so much honestly for
everything you do for us and live from the crime and sports studios
we will see you next week
hey prime members you can listen
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