Crime in Sports - #251 - Punches, Death Threats & Uninsured Bentleys - The Ardentness of Dereck Chisora
Episode Date: April 6, 2021This week, we check out the story of a man who came from rough beginnings, to rise to the level of heavyweight champ, only to constantly do the wrong thing. He hits women, a simple post offic...e parking lot disagreement turns into death threats, but there's nothing new there, as he threatens to kill just about everybody. In public. Sometimes, on camera. His crazy must be heard to be believed!Show an aggressive side at an early age, threaten to kill people you disagree with, and always do a little more crazy stuff with Dereck "War" Chisora!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music.
Download the app today. Discover all the best in audiobooks, podcasts, and originals featuring authentic Canadian voices and celebrity talent like Brendan Fraser and Luke Kirby's latest sci-fi adventure, The Downloaded.
A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial at audible.ca. Queen of the courtroom is back. How did I know that? I have crystal ball in my head. New cases.
Leave her alone.
So, uh...
This is not a so.
This is a period.
Classic Judy.
It's streaming.
You can say anything.
It's an all-new season.
Judy Justice.
Only on Freebie. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports!
Yay!
Yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay indeed.
My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host.
I am Jimmy Wissman.
Thank you folks so much for joining us today.
We are extra super excited as always.
We had a crazy wrestling episode last week.
This week we're going to stay right in the deep end of the brain damage sports and go to boxing, which is wonderful.
So we're going to do that.
We have an absolute guy's a crazy son of a bitch today.
So it's fun.
Good stuff.
Can't wait to do it.
Before we get into that, a couple of quick things.
First of all, thank you, everyone, for your reviews this week.
If you haven't done it yet, please give us five stars on Apple Podcasts, that purple icon.
Why? We don't know.
We don't know why. It helps drive you up
the charts. We have no idea why,
so please do that. Doesn't matter what you say, but five
stars are great. Also, head over to
shutupandgivememurder.com
where we can say tickets
for the virtual live show
for Crime in Sports
are available right now as we speak thursday
night may 6th and it'll be available for what 72 hours afterwards i believe that's true you can
watch it all weekend too just in case yeah you know thursday is a weeknight or whatever no problem
do that oh we can't wait we'll announce who the subject will be in the upcoming weeks getting closer to it.
But I'll make sure.
Tremendous.
We'll make sure it's somebody famous.
You guys all asked for it.
People have asked for this.
People overseas said, please, we can't ever get over to the States.
Can we have a – so we're doing it.
So show everybody.
I'm telling you guys that we had to fight for this.
Yeah, we did.
We did because Small Town Murder, they're like, oh, we know we're going to sell a bunch of tickets. And we're like, yeah, yeah we did we did because small town murder they're like oh we know we're gonna sell a bunch of tickets and we're like yeah but we really really want
crime and sports and they people have asked for it and they're they've been there for five years
these people are loyal we really want to give them something and they're like yeah but we can make
yeah what about small town murder so yeah we fought and we fought and we fought so please
don't make jerks out of us as always don't make us look like assholes please buy this okay and uh it's gonna be wild
i'm telling you live crime and sports is the most fun you can get it's i can't wait the pictures
everything it's crazy so please do that shut up and give me murder.com right now for tickets
and also you can find out everything about small town murder which you should also be listening to yep crazy if you're not there's been some wild episodes lately
go check out small town murder and also check out ps i hate this movie because i've had to watch
twilight and i had to watch one this weekend about she's like pregnant with like a demon lizard
nope it was messed up man i had a lot of opinions on it because this shit was just
two hours of people whispering at each other while a demon lizard grew in a belly.
It was the weirdest fucking movie I've ever seen.
Check that out as well.
Crazy stuff there.
Everything.
Check out Patreon most of all, though.
Of course.
Patreon.com slash crime and sports for all your bonus materials.
We had the last episodes that we just uploaded this weekend.
They're really good.
We'll just say that.
Marv Albert is the Crime and Sports one,
so we got to hear all about his toupee and his rock-hard dick everywhere.
His treatment of hotel concierges.
It's a real messy one.
And then for Small Town Murders, which you also get access to
because you get access to all the bonus materials all the way back and through everything we did the night stalker
richard ramirez and so we talked about the night stalker documentary and all about that and uh
marv albert probably has gotten a hand job in like a in a in a massage parlor right he's the
guy that like goes in there expecting it right yeah he's that guy he knows the spots that
definitely give it where he doesn't have to ask where they ask you that's that's he's the guy that goes in there expecting it, right? Yeah, he's that guy. He knows the spots that definitely give it, where he doesn't have to ask, where they ask you.
He's that guy.
He gives the number.
Him and Robert Kraft pass numbers back and forth, I feel like.
God damn it.
So check all that out.
Patreon.com slash Crime in Sports is where you get everything.
And also, Jimmy, you'll mispronounce your name at the end of the show
because you're a producer.
And if you just want to be a producer and have good karma,
you can also do that, be a great person by donating on PayPal.
Use our email address, crimeinsports at gmail.com to do that.
All right, get all that out of the way.
Now it's time to jump into brain damage sports
and the crazy person of the week.
Shall we?
Let's do this, Jimmy.
All right.
We're getting into boxing this week again, like I said, which is always great.
We're going to talk about Derek Chisora.
Chisora.
Chisora.
You ever heard of this guy?
C-H-I-S-O-R-A.
No.
He is a boxer.
He's from Zimbabwe, but he boxed all in Britain. He moved to England when he was 16 or something.
So we'll talk about him, man, because, wow, what an interesting, interesting story this is here.
Derek Chisora. His nickname is Del Boy. I don't know.
Del?
D-E-L, separate word, B-O-Y. Del Boy.
Does Del in Zimbabwe
mean Doe?
I don't know what the hell
that means, but that's him.
Is he a fat guy? No, no, no.
He's in good shape. He has it on his
like Doe Boy. He has it
on his trunks and everything, like on his
beltline of his trunks, Del Boy.
That's his name. He later will change it to
War, though, so
keep an eye on that he goes through
some changes which are always fun whenever athletes try to redefine themselves it's always
well evolution it's always something special here. He was born in Mabare, Zimbabwe, and it's a suburb of
the Zimbabwean capital, Harare or Harare. I'm not sure. Probably Harare, I would think. I think so.
Yeah. He his parents, he apparently his mother had was previously married and had a daughter from a previous marriage, obviously.
And she ended up marrying Derek's father.
It's a guy named Paul Chisora, who was a Boilermaker.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's good stuff.
It's a tough gig, man.
That sounds like a tough...
Boilermaker in Zimbabwe sounds like a tough gig.
Oh, my God.
Zimbabwe and Boilermaker.
Yikes.
Do they have Zimbabwean unions?
Is that a union job down there? I don't know what they got going on in Zimbabwe and Boilermaker. Yikes. Do they have Zimbabwe and unions? Is that a union
job down there? I don't know what they got
going on in Zimbabwe. I'm not sure. That's a tough
trade, man. I know Zimbabwe is one of
those African countries that has like
more white people than it should
meaning that they're... Really? Yeah.
Meaning that, you know, they probably were...
There's some... Yeah, there's some unions there
then. No, there's some... Yeah, I feel
like there was some colonization. Yeah. there's a lot of that going on and like the zimbabwean people a lot of
them have kind of like english accents a little bit too okay so it's a it's a weird thing yeah
i'm not sure uh what's going on over there so uh now she and they ended up having derrick uh but
they got divorced when derrick was four years old he uh basically grew up in under
the care of his grandmother so that's yeah that's how derrick came up that's a bad start it's a it's
a tough and he apparently was it was a real he lived in a really really shitty area of mabari
here that was not not good at all very um you know he just called it it was just ghetto life
is what he called it.
It was really difficult.
He said that later on, though, once he ends up going to England, he moves in with his other grandparents and has, it's pretty comfortable middle class.
So he's feeling good about that.
He's got an uncle, an Uncle Paul, who was kind of his mentor here.
He was a martial arts enthusiast.
And it's not hard to.
He says he spotted his nephew's aggressive streak and took him under his wing.
Now, let me describe.
Here's a quote from his uncle.
And this is why it's not real hard.
It wasn't like a real find.
Like, I saw this one little thing in him.
And I thought it was pretty obvious. It wasn't really a real find like i saw this one little thing in him and i thought it was pretty obvious really a glint in his eye no it was a well let's let's just get the
quote uh derrick grew up under my watchful eye my dad really took a liking to him after my sister
and his father divorced he educated him at churchill boys high but derrick was a problem
at school he once beat up the headmaster no so the head the
principal the guy in charge he beat up the principal so generally not necessarily a glint
in his eye yeah it was the black in this in the uh in the eye of the superintendent yeah it was
the black around the eye of the purple the purple bluish tint that the eye had around the superintendent
the yellow bruise in the in the principal's eye that really made me see his potential.
That's what I mean.
It wasn't like he could, you know, I don't know.
Most people couldn't see it, but I could see he was aggressive.
That's aggressive.
I remember kids in school that were like real aggressive.
Some are in prison now.
Some are, I mean, Jesus Christ, we did a small town murder about some kids I went to school with.
So, I mean, they fucking butchered a family and set the house on fire, for Christ's sake.
But they never beat up the principal.
Right.
The kids fighting adults at school are the fucking really bad ones.
That's extra aggressive, right?
Yeah.
They're willing to fight the adults.
So he also says, quote, academically, Derek was not strong, but I saw something good in him and I groomed him.
I think his early life...
Careful now.
There's certain things you can't use.
You can't play it fast and loose
with the word groomed.
The word groomed has become very specific.
It has.
It's almost like people that were really into
history of England and stuff like that
used to be anglophiles.
You can't use the word file anymore.
Even cinephile sounds dirty.
It sounds like you take kids to the movies and then finger them when it gets dark.
That's what it sounds like.
Under the cover of the THX fucking sound.
The second that Dolby sound thing comes up, you're fucking knuckle deep.
Knuckle deep already. knuckle deep in a sixth
grader that's not okay but that's what it sounds like doesn't it it really does so my point is yeah
that's the sound of torture yeah so
you have to retire certain words in any context except for the grossest possible way groomed is
one of them unless you've groomed yourself yeah and even filing your nails why you got kids around
what's the matter why you got kids around while you're doing that you like it when they watch
it's just creepy but spelled different it doesn't matter it's awful what's that sound
so he said i think his early life experience has made him the person he is now from the But spelled different. It doesn't matter. It's awful. What's that sound?
So he said, I think his early life experiences made him the person he is now. From the divorce of his parents to the military discipline instilled in him by me.
Jesus Christ.
I used to make him hit punch bags at home.
Okay.
That's wild.
He also says, quote, as a young boy, he could take on much older boys.
That doesn't sound good either.
No.
But then he says, and he'd beat them senseless, which sounds like they tried to molest him and he beat them up for it.
Fought them off.
He could take them on, but then he didn't want it anymore.
And he said, God damn it, it's on.
Yeah.
Yeah. I remember the time when some older guys attacked him and my young brother, Aries, and took their bicycles.
They came crying to me and said, and I said, go back and recover the bikes and I will do a follow up.
OK, Jesus Christ. When you send them back out on a vendetta, a vendetta walk, that's not good.
That's not bad parenting. That's very like old school like an italian father would do that like you go back there you punch that kid in the fucking eye
get your bike back and take your little brother with you all right let's go get the fuck out of
you that's that's what they would do yeah he smacked your italian ice out of your hand
beat the fucking shit out of him and take his now what's wrong with you fucking pussy
Beat the fucking shit out of him and take his now.
What's wrong with you, you fucking pussy?
This is, yeah.
So he ends up sending him out back to do, he said, I'll do a follow-up.
I don't know what that means.
My stepfather sent me back out after I got beat up.
I came home bloody and my pants were ripped and my thigh was out and bloody.
And he sent me back out.
And then I got my ass kicked again.
I was going to say, that's the thing.
What are you doing, man?
You gained some sort of ability and skill in the walk to the house and the walk back to what you were doing.
Am I now six feet tall and tough?
No, I'm still a tiny kid with a big mouth.
You've gained fighting prowess from here to there.
It didn't work, man.
In fact, I'm worse off because now I'm going to walk back
after I'm exhausted
from getting the shit kicked out of me.
That's what I'm saying.
Now you've lost blood
and you've gotten beat up,
so now your chances are even slimmer.
This is ridiculous.
I came back even harder beaten.
What the fuck idea was that?
Jesus.
Well, I guess here these kids
didn't beat Derek and his cousin up.
They just picked on them
and took the bikes, and I guess that they were saying that they didn't fight for their bikes, and he was up. They just picked on them and took the bikes.
And I guess that they were saying that they didn't fight for their bikes.
And he was like, well, you needed to fight for your bikes.
So they didn't get beat up.
But he was saying, you know, whatever.
He says, quote, I got there.
The bicycles were back.
They had gone back and fought.
So, yeah, he went back and got his bikes.
They got them.
Good for them.
They got their bikes.
He beat up the headmaster.
His story already ends different than mine.
And funny, he goes up to beat up grown men for money as well.
So that's, again, veering away from both of our stories, really.
It's not going to work.
So he said, quote, so those were the early signs.
Not really signs.
Those aren't signs.
He beat up more kids.
You're creating a lethal weapon is what you're doing.
Yeah.
Derek was the product of two warriors.
I was once a bouncer for Dynamos, which is Zimbabwe's biggest football club, in addition to my martial arts.
My sister, his mom, could hit a man to the floor.
I suppose that's
why she divorced her husband they were two different characters so he's got a mom that
could knock a man out is what she's saying so if your mom can knock people out you're probably
going to be tough you should probably not know if your mom can fight like that that means the mom's
tough yeah i mean she's done this a few times and that's horrifying he's like i know
my sister she'll fuck you up that's a you know i'm mad at you but you don't want my sister to
be mad at you she's really bad that's a rough i don't know what kind of punch my mom can can
deliver i've never seen it now my mom uses weapons so that's i've always i've seen her use a broom
she hit my stepdad with a vhs tape in about 1993 and she'd stabbed him with a fork
one time so she doesn't depend on uh on a punch anyway italian broads will use weapons they're
crazy maybe she knows what kind of punch she can deliver and she doesn't need to do that well yeah
i think she realizes that it's you know the weapon's going to be more effective than her
punch anyway she's a small woman you've my mom. She's not a big person.
Yeah, you need a fork or something, I think.
Even the odds.
So, Jesus Christ.
So at 15, Derek, he went back and forth a couple of times, basically. Like his mom moved to the UK, and then he moved there briefly, and then went back to Zimbabwe to live with his father for a little while.
That's not good. Yeah yeah kind of back and forth and then in 1999 he went back to the uk full-time here when he was 16
and um this was because the economy in zimbabwe took a downhill turn and things started getting
really rough there so i'm sure there's some nice areas of zimbabwe i'm sure there's cities and
metropolis and shit like that but it's not london no no it's not london there's some nice areas of Zimbabwe. I'm sure there's cities and metropolis and shit like that, but it's not London.
No, no, it's not London.
There's definitely a difference in opportunity there.
So it's, and that's the thing too.
Everywhere that you think of where you're like, well, that place is a fucking dump.
There's probably parts of it that aren't a fucking dump.
It's just, you know.
There's high rise buildings and fucking king suites and shit like that there.
I'm sure.
Yeah.
I'm sure there's just nice places where people live, too.
It's just certain you don't see that because who's going to publicize that, too?
You know, that's not really that exciting to put on TV.
They're doing well.
Who gives a shit?
These people live just fine.
And they're just watching TV like, I got to work in the morning.
And you're like, okay.
And you leave.
Is that it?
You know, same thing in this country there's a lot of people who are doing badly and some people
are doing great and there's a lot of people who are just like yeah I got to work in the morning
my bills like you know I can I can afford them I'm okay it's another country it's kind of boring
so yeah he uh I guess um his uncle said quote when I took him to the airport, he was wearing a black leather jacket I'd given him.
I told him that he was going to be a great man.
He just laughed, shook my hand, and said, thank you, uncle.
So there you go.
That's that.
So he's off to the UK when he's 16.
He lives in Finchley area of London, I guess.
Sounds great.
Finchley, yes.
It sounds very English anyway.
Yeah.
When you put the word. Trees and birds and tea. Yeah. Finchley, yes. It sounds very English anyway. Yeah. When you put the word.
Trees and birds and tea.
Yeah, anything.
Finch anything sounds pretty English.
It could be Finchburg or Finchtown or anything.
Finchworth.
Finchworth.
Finchworth.
I'm from Finchshire.
Fincher.
Fincher.
That's how they say it.
Fincher and Finchum.
Finchum.
Finchum and Fincher.
This is Fincham. Fincham. Fincham and Fincha. This is Finch Lee.
So he then says to the uncle, I believe his talents have finally matured in the U.K.
This is later on.
Moving there was advantageous for him.
He should be proud that he has been, that he's a heavyweight fighter.
Not many men can achieve that.
My hope is that he has met a good woman because women can cause a man's downfall
i also hope i also ask him to make god his antidote against any form of failure he must
look at that time and age and think about how people will will respect him in history he must
be aware of false friends and bring unity to the family he has the power jesus christ it's really uh it's a lot to put on
sir it's a lot to put on somebody he just said you know basically you must live like the messiah
and you know you must find this and accept god as an antidote against any form of failure be
celibate stay away from women because they'll kill you apparently they'll kill you think about how
time how how people will respect him in history
like really get got deep with that shit yeah this guy's like man i just want to make a living i'm
going over to 16 years old i'm trying to get some some girls this is you're saying people are going
to remember me that's crazy i hope they don't remember the shit i'm doing right now if someone
said that when i was 16 i went oh god they're gonna remember this no don't jesus i gotta fix my life who's gonna respect me yeah is the question really never mind um now he gets into
some problems um he these problems are not very documented because he wasn't famous yet at the
time so that's that's difficult but uh the way he says it, quote, I got into some trouble, man.
He says some nonsense, some serious nonsense, which is a great oxymoron.
Some serious nonsense.
I mean, it was nothing, but it was pretty serious.
It was everything.
It was everything.
It was nothing, but it was everything.
He says some serious nonsense, quote, guns, drugs.
Yeah, serious nonsense is what you just described.
Holy shit.
Wow. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time i did probation for three years so i mean i'd love to know that story yeah if there's
guns involved especially if you're a kid and especially in england where guns aren't you know
right real prevalent supposed to have that right um yeah you know that seems like it's more than
serious nonsense it seems like that's pretty serious over there.
And if you're around guns and drugs in America, we treat that shit pretty serious.
Yeah.
When you mix those two together.
Yeah.
That's not a good cocktail.
No, it's really not.
But it's for your future.
What?
Everybody.
I mean, that's what this, you know, if you've got a shitload of drugs, you better have a
shitload of guns to protect that.
But don't let the cops know.
Here's my point let's look at gun ownership in america and drug use in america and they certainly overlap
let's just put it that way there's a lot of people that have both of those things yeah and they're
not too sure of how to use either one of them but they're sitting there like well got them i got it
but i got everything which i mean hey no it's guns and drugs are fun together.
That's the other thing.
So, I mean, I get it.
I'm told.
Yeah.
Dangerous, but fun.
So bad for your future.
Well, yeah, clearly, if you're a teenager, especially.
Yeah.
So 2000, he this is Cricklewood in northwest London.
Cricklewood.
That's amazing.
Uh,
right.
With ham.
Oh,
I like that one.
Crickle,
a Cricklewood sandwich.
That's my favorite.
The Cricklewood ham.
It's the best kind of ham.
I really like,
uh,
bacon when it's smoked on Cricklewood.
That's,
Oh,
you like it like that.
Now see,
I don't know about that.
I prefer more of an apple,
but,
uh,
Cricklewood is better with like a fish.
I feel like,
yeah, probably. Yeah. Like a, like an open flame on the fish smoked scallops or something yeah yeah yeah it gives it it's a better it's more of a light flavor you don't want to over
smoke that fish so he this is uh he had uh you know he was only there like a year at this point
it's near 2000 he says about it quote i was a good street fighter man so let's get into what this
story is about he said it was my first fight in london and not like professionally this isn't
right it's just you know this is a scrap the first one he got into in the streets here
there was a gang of us on bikes i don't know if he means motorcycles or bicycles here because he's
i'll bet it i'll bet it's the former james it's got
to be motorcycles maybe i mean he's 17 though so does he have a motor you can ride a motorcycle
at 17 i guess i don't know i mean here yeah but people here i don't know if over there i think in
england you can ride a motorcycle you can drive or ride anything as long as you can operate or
reach the pedals yeah that's true what i don't't know what's there 17 i don't know what
they're isn't it young they're like 15 no because remember the in-betweeners when they got their
licenses they were like juniors in high school oh i think they were 17 17 is it 18 it can't be 18
that would no that's that's late it should be it should be probably 28, but, you know. Yeah. I mean, for my convenience, I'd like my kids to drive now.
But for legalities.
And I got in more accidents before I was 18.
Okay.
Yeah.
I got in like fucking five before I was 18.
It was a lot.
That is a lot, Jimmy.
And they were all my fault.
You should have been driving later. They should have held you out a little longer. They were all my fault you should have been you should have been driving later they
should have held you out a little longer they were all my fault that's perfect i've seen you
drive though i don't know how you're not in accidents all the time you've just gotten better
at avoiding them yeah i'm really i'm really quick on the brake draw right there i can grab the brake
in a second it's the experience of hitting things i think that's what it is. He says, a gang of us on bikes
and me and my friends
were chucking tomatoes
at each other,
having fun.
What is that about?
It's a weird game to play.
How do you hold the ammo?
You just have a harmful tomato,
put it in your shirt
like a papoose.
Tomato knapsack over your shoulder?
A shirt papoose there you do.
You just use them as a little,
you throw them. I don't know how you'd hold that and steer the bike at the same time but yeah either way they're firing
tomatoes at each other for some reason for fun this is okay seems like you get drilled with one
of those that hurt a tomato yeah i mean maybe if they're rotten but i guess that's part of the fun
trying to blast a guy off a bike we used to shoot fireworks at each other so i guess that's part of the fun i don't know trying to blast a guy off a bike we used to shoot
fireworks at each other so i guess that makes sense yeah i mean i've shot roman candles at
people i mean that's that can't be safe i don't think anyway right unless you hit somebody in
the eye though that doesn't really do much damage right you set them on fire yeah i've seen people
be set on fire from fireworks being shot at them, so that's an interesting.
My friend, I had a friend who had jumping jacks that go bing, bing, bing, and they fly at some point.
You never know when they're going to take off.
Right.
Yeah, one went right up his pant leg, right up his shorts, and just was spinning around his ass.
It was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.
So, yeah, he says says but one of my tomatoes hit
this guy who comes over and takes a swing well that's not good i thought fucking hurt yeah you
gotta fuck you you hit me with a tomato yeah he said i thought this is on i jumped on him
pumped him a couple blows popped his nose took a couple of his teeth out then he went and got his boys okay there were
five of them outside my house so i went outside and rocked it out okay so that's i'd beat the
shit out of five guys that's i don't recall taking multiple teeth out of a man's face and
exploding his nose in a fight that's that's i don't know well he's got he's going to be a
heavyweight boxer so that's
probably why that's why it seems like going a little overboard well i feel like that's why
no one ever approached you and said jimmy you should be a heavyweight when you see this and
the guy had also beat up his headmaster and everything else you go maybe you should use this
we can funnel this aggression into a better place. That just seems excessive, aggressive, all kinds of ives.
That's not good.
Aggressive?
How about looking outside, seeing five guys are there to beat you up and being like, I'm
going to fuck these people up and then going outside to fight them.
I guess it's on.
What?
Right now, five people that you know are angry at you are knocking on your door to kick your
ass.
Are you going outside?
No.
I mean, totally unarmed, just going out there to throw fists with these guys just you might even just
crack the door and be like he's not home yeah i don't know wrong house two doors down yeah i don't
know what you would do otherwise so slamming locking the door and being like that was close
he says i went outside man and rocked it
out so he rocked it out i would have he's beat up so many people that he doesn't even need to
be descriptive about it he's just like i rocked it out like if you went outside right now and beat
the shit out of five people who are there to kick your ass like totally you know warranted self
defense right you would it would take you four hours to tell me the story.
You would be telling me in blow by blow, deep in this guy.
I'm getting this guy.
I could see the look on this one guy's face, though.
Like, he was like, should I hit him again?
I'm kind of scared.
That last one took two of my teeth out and broke my nose.
So I don't want to get hit by little Jimmy Wissman again.
You'd be annoyed by day four when you called me and I was like,
did I tell you about that fight?
Like, dude, one part I forgot to tell you right you could see the sun glinting off his molar as it flew out it was amazing james it was the best that would be the best so uh he says later i told my probation
officer that story he said you've got to take up boxing so So he did. Well, good call. Yeah. So, yeah, that's constructive.
Anyway, I mean, he could have said stop fighting, but he was like, why don't you fight somewhere where it's legal?
How's that?
What do you say?
I fight people that agree upon it way beforehand.
Yeah.
Everyone's up for it.
How about that?
That might be better for everyone.
So he said, and after two weeks, they put me in the ring with this Irish guy called Pat.
This guy went wham, bang.
And I thought, this shit.
He didn't tell me he was going to hit me.
He didn't know if he was just rehearsing or what.
And this guy started punching him in the face.
He was like, what the fuck?
This is a rough sport.
So he said, so i went to
the trainer joe smith who showed me how to move and how to jab did they not show him that before
they threw him in the ring with a guy who was gonna punch him in the face right what the fuck
kind of training is that they i don't know they heard about him fighting five guys and they're
like he doesn't need any training he'll be all right there's some gloves mate there you go right
pushed him into the fucking ring yeah and he's like oh cool five blokes at once yeah then a professional boxer starts punching him in the
face it's like jesus christ because there's a there's a big difference between a street fighter
and a professional boxer in terms of in terms of ability and uh i mean a street fighter is good but
a professional boxer will as just the efficiency of every blow.
Every ounce of weight is perfectly where he wants it.
And he's going to fuck you up.
And the other part is that you don't see it coming.
With a bartender that you fight in the street, he telegraphs the shit out of that punch.
Yeah, he's had a couple of drinks.
This guy is ready to roll.
He's been up since four o'clock this morning.
He ran 10 miles.
He's pissed off. He's ready to go. He's been up since 4 o'clock this morning. He ran 10 miles. He's pissed off.
He's ready to go.
He's ready to kick your ass.
Right.
So, yeah, he said they taught him how to jab.
But then I turned pro and fought a guy called Darren Morgan.
The first round, bang.
And I'm like, shit, this is the pro game.
I look at his legs and I thought, this guy is not going to go down.
His legs will save him.
So I knew I had to box.
He said in his first fight he realized that it's not the street where you could thump a guy hard and his teeth are going to fall out and his nose is going to break and he's going to go down.
You could hit a guy with all you got in boxing and he just stands there.
You go, fuck, okay.
That's not.
They train everything in their body.
Everything in that body is designed to punch you in the mouth from toes to crown.
And take punches.
A lot of people, when they start boxing, first time they hit a guy with everything they got clean and nothing happens, it freaks them the fuck out.
It's like, whoa, I hit him with all I got and he didn't move.
And it's like, well, you got to hit him four more times before that, loosen him up, and then hit him with that.
Otherwise, his neck isn't going to snap around and he's not going to be
he's not going anywhere he's going to stand there and look at you because these guys are
literally trained to take punches in the face yeah which is why they have brain damage i would
imagine generally yeah i mean that'll do it think about and i love boxing so i'm not saying this you
know that i believe this but think about if like aliens came down and like looked over what we're doing and we said, oh, you know, let's start from scratch with rules.
There's no way we would allow two people to get into a ring and literally just punch each other in the face for an hour.
There's no fucking way we would be like, yeah, that's good.
That's fine.
That won't cause any problems later on. I like yeah that's good that's fine that won't cause any
problems later on i'm sure that's that's legal think about that that's so crazy that we're
and now that we know that brains don't heal like it's one of the only things in our bodies that
doesn't regenerate shit no and when when it's dead it's dead man i mean we talk about football
which is bad enough and guys getting a concussion here and a concussion there and And I've had eight concussions in my career, and we all talk about that.
These guys punch each other in the face 200 times in an hour.
They get eight concussions in one round.
It's a whole—once they get one, the rest of the fucking match, every time they get hit in the face, it's more and more and more.
It's ding, ding, ding.
It's all adding up like a slot machine.
Absolutely.
It's insanity. That's, ding ding ding it's all adding up like a slot machine absolutely it's
insanity that that's you know it's crazy the guys that can box a long time and then still have it
together are feats of i don't even know like they're i don't know what their heads are made
out of but or they're guys that just don't get hit floyd yeah that guys like that haven't really
taken a lot of blows to the face i mean your average heavyweight they're taking a lot of
they're taking some big shots too guys like that right it's not just the amount it's the quality
quality and quantity yeah yeah and your lighter weights there it's just repetitive popping in the
head which is not good for you man it's no it's bad stuff so his amateur career he fought around
about 20 amateur fights i could find record of about three of them here that i
guess were worth something so go over those quick here one first one was december 2nd 2005
this was at a conference center at wembley stadium so i assume a small room the side room at wembley
right there's one of the uh like a comedy club where some some some some energy drink holds a conference every year
something yeah yeah it's one of those so it's versus a guy named tom dallas oh which sounds
like a made-up name that a foreigner would say if he was trying to pretend he was american
yeah i am tom dallas from uh oklahoma tom dallas very nice to meet you. From Tulsa, Texas.
I'm from Tulsa, Arkansas.
That's me.
I read on map.
So he's Tom Dallas.
Tom Dallas is 17 and 10 in his professional career later on. So mediocre fighter.
He wins on points.
Derek does.
And this gets him the 2006 ABA Super Heavyweight title.
It's some amateur boxing association here.
And also a gold medal at the Four Nations Championships.
Taylor Swift is soaring high, her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans.
She's broken billboard records and made Grammys history, not to mention becoming a billionaire in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans. She's broken billboard records and made
Grammys history, not to mention becoming a billionaire in the process. But along the way,
Taylor has had to wage war, first by taking on a very powerful, very famous manager, Scooter Braun,
and then by going up against the biggest live events company, Ticketmaster.
Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery's show, Business Wars.
We go deep into some of the biggest corporate rivalries of all time.
And in our latest season, Taylor Swift will shake up not only the music business, but
Hollywood and the NFL.
Follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app.
If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was
discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's
second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay. I am here for you.
I'm Darcy Carden, and I'm inviting you to listen to my new podcast, WikiHole, from Smartless Media.
Discover the craziest rabbit holes on wikipedia with me and
my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane and if you
listen to my podcast you learn that that's the sciency term for eardrum we embark on a hyperlink
roller coaster as we start out on a wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link
careening through trivia oddities and unexpected connections
until we collectively shout how the hell did we get here follow wiki hole on the wondery app or
wherever you get your podcasts you can listen to wiki hole ad free by joining wondery plus in the
wondery app or on apple podcasts so as it does pretty well here he fights a guy named sam scott on february 3rd 2006 in dublin
and this is sam scott's only fight ever amateur or professional really stepped in the ring once
and this is what happened and i got the shit beaten out of him by derek jussara
and derek's uh he moves on he loses one of these amateur fights on February 4th.
I guess it's the same tournament.
So they're fighting like back-to-back days, which is crazy.
I don't know if there's like headgear involved probably too here.
You would hope so.
That's a different story when you involve headgear.
February 4th, though, he fights a guy named Keith Evans,
who doesn't ever have a pro record.
He's just an amateur fighter.
And Keith Evans beats him on
points. So that's what we have.
Then he goes pro. February
17, 2007
he fights Istvan
Kekches
Jesus Christ. He fights a lot
of Eastern European guys. Great.
First of all. This is going to be fun.
A lot of white guys with names that
are hard to pronounce. Z's and C-H's and A lot of like four consonant in lot of white guys with names that are hard to pronounce and chs and
a lot of like four consonant in a row white guys with hairy backs that he fights like
one guy's nickname is shrek and he literally looks like stop that he looks like if you put
shrek's head on george the animal steals body and you'd have like a hairy shouldered monster. Poor bastard.
Jesus Christ. If this person donated to us on Patreon, it would take Jimmy 15 tries to fuck his name up.
Kekseses?
Keks?
Kekses?
Kekseses?
It doesn't matter because this guy is 2 and 20 coming in.
Oh, Christ.
Not good.
And this is his last fight ever.
Not great. But he is a linker he does have a wikipedia link so to fight a linker and your first fight that very rarely happens we
never see why does he get to have a wikipedia page with that record because he fought a couple of
guys that were decent that's why so he ended up just he got referenced a couple of times in more
famous ones so he ended up getting his own and his is basically he fought these guys that's his
wikipedia he fought derek chisora once so uh this is a win by tko for chisora makes him want to know
april 7th uh 2007 this is in cardiff and unless it's uh anywhere unless it's out of england just
know that it's somewhere in England.
He fights all over England.
I'm not going to name all these weird stadiums unless they have funny names, which I will name because one of them sounds hilarious.
And I'm going to name that one.
He fights a guy named Tony Booth, who's like this guy's fought a lot. 50 wins, 95 losses, nine draws coming in.
Holy shit.
Over 150 fights coming into this shit.
That's too much.
That's a lot.
He finishes his career 52-105-9.
And he's not a linker.
No link for that guy.
That's not fair.
If you fight him, yeah.
He's earned it.
He won 52 fights.
It's true.
I think that's pretty close to what Mike Tyson won in the end.
You know what I'm saying? I think Muhammad Ali won 61 fights, think that's pretty close to what Mike Tyson won in the end. You know what I'm saying?
I think Muhammad Ali won 61 fights, so that's not bad.
He won more fights than that other guy fought altogether.
He won more fights than Rocky Marciano, who was an undefeated heavyweight champion.
He did lose 105 fights, but still, he won 52 of them.
That's impressive.
Now, not bad.
He beats this guy by points, 2-0.
Those journeymen know how to not get knocked out, though.
That's one thing.
When you've fought 150 fights, you know how to stay on your feet.
150 heavyweight bouts.
Heavyweight, yeah.
Holy shit, man.
You wouldn't be able to find your way to the arena if you didn't know how to protect yourself and that man's lose by points basically that man's a mess or dead james today right
there's no way that guy's still alive right he gets lost on his way home from the grocery store
i feel like he's that guy he gets lost on his way back to the bedroom from the bathroom he's
got to have like rudy pochek level brain damage remember that episode where he was like literally
didn't like got in the car was driving the car got pulled over and he's like i am not driving a car what are you talking about
i'm in my living room and they're like sir you're sitting in the driver's seat of your car and he
looked around was like holy shit i'm in the car like he forgot he was driving a car that's the
level brain damage your neighbor's car yes sir this isn't this isn't even a car this is a child's
this is a toy you're peddling this.
You're Fred Flintstoning this whole situation.
You're in a grocery cart rolling down a hill.
What are you doing, sir?
Sir, Jackass told you not to try this at home, sir.
And you're clearly trying this at home.
So, yeah.
Then he fights on October 13th, 2007.
Darren Morgan, who's the beast from Boney Mayim.
That's what he calls himself.
He has an 8-5 career record overall,
so that's his whole career.
He beats,
Derek beats him by points,
3-0.
So January 12, 2008,
he fought,
this is,
this is,
I think,
is it this fight or the other one here?
He fights this guy.
I want to say,
did he,
yes,
he fought this guy twice.
Okay, good. It's not the fight that this happens. He fights Paul Butlin, other one here uh he fights this guy i want to say did he yes he fought this guy twice okay good
it's not the fight that this happens he fights paul butlin yeah b-u-t-l-i-n who uh he'll his
whole career he'll be 16 24 and one he beats butlin by points remember butlin's name because
it's going to come up when they fight again and some crazy shit goes on uh june 14 2008 he fights sam sexton who comes in seven and oh
coming in hot uh right now he's 24 and four so he's still whatever uh tko sexton in the sixth
round so hell yeah five and oh for derrick he's working it september 12 2008 this is at
gruv's gruv's venner house in mayfair england which sounds sounds like somebody's
very fancy house where they just moved the dining room table aside and let these two
goliaths beat the shit out of each other the grubs were killing that's what it is yeah they
just they've got a great house they moved all sorts of furniture with like gold filigree on
it out of the way lit a fire and let these two beat the shit out of each other in the library while they sipped brandy that's what happened there uh tko and wallpapered
with fleur de lis or some shit yes that's perfect while just bum bum bum bum plays over and over
again yeah that's a constant soundtrack coming through like uh not even speakers those big like what are those big fucking like horn things that look like like yeah they had it like uh
at fucking jonestown listen jim jones speech is one of those so uh he fights sean look mean
mclean look mean well i was gonna say look mean how about fight mean be mean act means
mean mclean so much better look mean i don't know why uh his whole career is four and five so
it's apparently looking mean isn't enough that's not gonna cut it it's not gonna cut it this is
another sixth round tko so he likes to fuck with you for five rounds and then knock you out.
That's what he likes to do to people here, making him 6-0.
Next, he fights Lee Swaby on September 26, 2008.
Swaby comes in at 23, 21, and 2.
So experienced fighter.
And Derek TKO's him in the third round.
So he's got some new guys, some experienced guys.
He's knocking everybody out.
Not bad.
7-0.
September 6, 2008, he fights Neil Simpson, whose nickname, this is, okay, your boxing nickname shouldn't be just what your friends call you.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Neat.
No, his nickname is Simmo.
S-I-M-M-O, because his last name's Simpson,
which is probably just what his rugby pals call him.
Right.
Where's Simmo?
We're going for a pipe.
That's what they're probably saying.
That shouldn't be on his robe.
That's not intimidating at all.
It's pointless.
So he's a 26 and 17 player.
In Canada, he'd be like Simpsy.
Simpsy, yeah.
Hey, Simpsy. How you doing? And here he'd be like Simpsie. Simpsie, yeah. Hey, Simpsie.
How you doing?
And here he'd be like, Simpson, like OJ?
Right.
Yeah, that's right.
They'd call him OJ.
Like Bart or OJ or Homer?
If your last name is Simpson here, there isn't a lot of real corollaries to you.
A murderer or a cartoon.
Pick one. You got some big shoes to fill
if your last name's simpson best of luck being famous because you got two i mean you're gonna
be the third most famous at best you could think about it you no matter what you do like if you
just start out from scratch right now your last name simpson
you're like i'm gonna be the most famous simpson in america nothing you could do could top them
nothing you're not even gonna be as famous as simpson racing harnesses and cars so just calm
down unless you got a hold of a dirty bomb or something you are gonna be fucking there's no
you have no chance of being as famous as these people you're you could kill 50 people and oj's
one or two would totally totally take that
over no problem and then isn't that the weed oil also is it is it simpson oh rick simpson oil rick
simpson oh yeah rso those cats you're not gonna beat that either no no yeah he's third sorry
motherfucker sorry he gets you good and stone so murderer tv show tv show on for more than three decades
and dude who gets you good and stone sorry bro i don't know where bringing up the rear here you're
gonna be that's why it never worked out for uh jessica simpson that was the problem that's why
she went away because she just couldn't crack it yeah she just couldn't i was like nope can't crack it sorry you can't
think of something more clever than is this tuna chicken yeah well then think about her sister
that's even worse she can't even be the most famous that sure sister's got her beat there
so she's even further down in the list like god damn it i can't ever get better than eighth what
the fuck it's messed up that's good see i i would venture
to say there's some lawyer in pittsburgh who i'm competing with but i could be the most famous
petrogallo i think there's not a lot of us there really isn't it's a pretty specific name so i
think i might have it beat at least i think there's a guy on twitter that is at wisman i wanted that
so bad and somebody's already got it and they've got a shitload of
followers not even enough to give it up a fucking jerk you asshole i won't be the most famous
wisman ever no probably not but you probably get some spillover with accidental follows on each
other though think about that i'll bet he gets more followers than i do oh bro i don't know how
many he has but yeah that's i think he gets followers based on having great tweets,
and I get them based on having a great podcast.
Well, either way.
And funny tweets, too.
Shit's funny.
So this fight is stopped in the second round.
Old Simmo can't make it out of the second.
No.
8-0 for Derek Chisora.
And I guess Simmo is as good as del boy
isn't it i don't know what the hell that means so january 30th 2009 in england here this is where
he fights daniel yield with two eyes d-a-n-i-i-l uh parrot yacht co so parrot yacht co who his Parrot Yacht Co. So Parrot Yacht Co. Who his nickname is Shrek.
That's our guy.
He looks like an ogre.
He's got like fucking funky ears and a big misshapen bald head and a fucking ugly face and George the Animal Steel's body.
Hairy shoulders.
Oh, no.
Whack down the show.
I'm not even saying you got to wax up or anything.
You don't have to be whatever.
But take a fucking number two to that thing and knock it down.
You know what I mean?
Get yourself a $20 fucking pair of clippers and knock that shit down.
He's got a bald head, so something tells me he's got clippers.
He probably does that to himself on a daily basis.
There's a guy on Letterkenny that I'm very off put by because he has a patch on both arms a patch of hair on like
the bottom of his bicep on the outside it's it is bizarre it's so strange where hair grows on people
they put this poor kid in a fucking like in a sleeveless shirt and overalls and his arms are
just out no not even he's in overalls with no shirt, James. It's fantastic. Oh, no, it's Vince McMahon's fucking dream?
Take that shot.
Oh, he did it.
Look at him.
Vince, what are you doing in there?
Watching Letter Kenny.
Why, is it funny?
No, not really, but there's this...
I'm fascinated by one man.
He's just walking around.
He's got a particular pattern of arm hair.
It's the strangest thing I've ever seen.
I think the people are going to want to see it.
He's got an overalls and no shirt.
I have to do nothing.
He's perfect.
It's like the basketball player
that has a shawl of chest hair.
It's the strangest thing.
It's like over his shoulders and across his chest,
and then when he lifts up his
shirt to wipe his face nothing on his belly so weird it's like he's wearing football shoulder
pad hair it's so fucking odd hottest male hair patterns are the oddest thing in the world on
their bodies just patches it is awkward it's fucked up some people there i've i've known
guys that have said yeah i got i got no hair on my chest but my
ass full of hair and i'm like how does that happen or the other way around or so we get the weirdest
strange shit so uh anyway he's fighting shrek and shrek is his whole career he's 17 and 33
so he's just kind of a big ugly punching bag here okay he beats shrek by points probably because
he didn't want to you don't want to get in close on shrek because you ever play you ever play basketball with like old guys with sweaty back
hair that insist on playing with their shirts off and you don't awful you don't want to put
the forearm into them you know you want they want to post up you're like look just do what you want
to do i don't care i don't take the shot fucker just fucking take the shot you want to drive to
the lane do it i'm not touching your sweaty back hair.
Maybe that was the thing.
Derek kept his distance and just outpointed him, I think.
It's fun to watch fights of ugly guys because they got nothing to lose in terms of beauty.
They don't care about what they look like.
Those are a great fight, usually.
You'd see Shrek and he looks like he never raises his hands above his chin because why bother?
You know what I mean? what the hell's the difference
right honestly like
honestly this guy really is that hideous
you'd look him up I'll look like a hockey goalie
I don't give a shit yeah he doesn't give
a fuck he's like just beat my head senseless
I don't care his head isn't even a good
shape so it's like whatever you can
you can knock it
lopsided I don't care
just improve it.
So May 22, 2009, this is the Paul Butlin fight.
Paul Butlin is, like I said, he's of no consequence, 16 and 24 for his career.
But this is Butlin 2.
This is Chisora Butlin 2.
He beats Butlin by points, but he ends up being suspended for four months because of this fight, even though he won the fight.
What'd he do?
Okay, he bit Butlin during the fifth round.
The ref didn't see it.
He missed it.
He bit his ear.
He did a total Mike Tyson.
Bit his fucking ear.
He didn't rip a piece off, which I'm sure that if he spit a chunk of his body on the ground, I'm sure the ref would have noticed that.
He just nibbled him.
spit a chunk of his body on the ground i'm sure the ref would have noticed that he just nibbled him yeah but the ref missed it but they ended up the you know body boxing whatever the fuck uh board
ended up reviewing it later on and seeing on the tape how obvious it was that he bit him
so he gets to keep his win but he also uh he ends up being suspended and he's gonna have to miss a
fight he was gonna be fight recently or soon and he's also
fine 2500 pounds as well so no biting dickhead no jesus christ that shit might work when five
guys are mad at you for throwing a tomato right but not now this is bad uh october 9th 2009
he fights zurab jesus noniashvili noniiashvili, that's his name, I bet.
13-13-2 career, so whatever.
He knocks him out in the third round.
It's a TKO, 11-0 for Chisora here.
So now he might get a chance.
He's hoping to be able to get a chance to fight a guy named Danny Williams here who he wants to fight who's coming up here.
He says he wants to.
He says he was supposed to fight him before, and he says it was my own fault that the fight with Williams didn't go ahead, and I've been kicking myself ever since.
So that's what he's saying because his fight now is supposed to be against Williams, and then he ends up fighting Williams down the road.
Right now, February 13, 2010, he fights Carl the Fridge Baker.
Hell yeah.
280 pounds of him.
Oh, my God.
He's a big boy.
That's why he's the Fridge Carl Baker here.
Carl's 9-4 coming in, 10-8 for his career.
TKO's the Fridge in the second round. the second round wow so yeah it's a big boy derrick's about 250 so derrick's a big heavyweight he is not
a small heavyweight he's a big these heavyweights now are big man do we got height on this guy
he's like six one and a half our guy uh the fridge is a little bit taller but 280 is a big guy man it's just a
big dude that's a lot of dude you know what i mean six three two eighty that's a big dude can
play in the nfl that's a lot of man that's a lot of man and he's also you know he's an athletic guy
and shit like that but he's uh he gets tko'd in the second round either way yeah derrick's not a
small guy either because i feel like and i haven't been caught i haven't like really
i used to follow it a lot till kind of the early 2000s but i haven't followed boxing as closely but
i feel like once once the klitschko's came in yeah they really made it so the heavyweights had
to be bigger because for a while it was evander holyfield in the 90s was the standard and he
that dude was i mean once he was all jacked up on fucking roids and
everything or hgh or whatever the fuck he was on allegedly at the time he got up to like 220 but
his main fighting weight was like 205 holy and how tall was he he was at least six one six two
he's a glitch goes are like six five right there's six five 250 pounds they're fucking
enormous men they're enormous people so right And they're really skilled, too.
They're not 6'5", and so is Lennox Lewis.
He was big 6'5", 6'6", over 250.
I think he's 6'7".
Something like that.
But, I mean, these big guys like that who are skilled,
I mean, there's a rule in boxing.
If they're evenly skilled, you always take the bigger man.
That's just the way it is.
If all else is even, take the guy who's bigger just because it's obvious.
It's fighting.
It's size.
It's size.
So, you know, that's kind of how it works here where they were Lennox Lewis, the Klitschko's.
You had to outbox them and you couldn't because they were good boxers.
So these little guys didn't stand a chance.
So you got guys like these guys, Carl the Fridge Baker.
Fuck.
So 12-0 for Chisora.
Next up, May 15th, 2010 is the Brixton bomber, Danny Williams.
Okay.
Here we go.
That sounds very British.
Insanely.
The Brixton bomber.
He is 41 and eight coming in.
My Christ.
No joke.
Yeah.
No joke here.
In 2010, I don't know who this guy is.
That's how far removed from boxing I am. Yeah, no joke here. In 2010, I don't know who this guy is. That's how far removed from boxing I am.
Yeah, but I mean, he finishes 54 and 29.
He wasn't ever really on the American scene like that you would have seen.
He wasn't like fighting on HBO or anything like that.
He was fighting in a lot of British fights, European fights.
And when he got to have a good record, they started putting him against good boxers, and then he didn't do as well.
That's kind of here, yeah.
This is for the Commonwealth heavyweight title, this fight.
So here we go.
He knocks Williams down twice in the second round, and it stopped after that.
So the ref, after the second knockdown, he waves it off.
It's a TKO win for Chisora.
So he's starting to look like the real deal now.
Sure. Beating this guy, and he's starting to look like the real deal now sure beating this guy and
he's a he's a champion of some sort and he's got a some sort of a belt or a trophy
whatever they whatever they give him that'd be hilarious certificate how much less fucking
pageantry would that be if a guy came to the ring had his robe on opened his robe and took out a
laminated certificate and held it above his head and ran all over the ring had his robe on opened his robe and took out a laminated certificate and
held it above his head and ran all over the ring how much less holding it with two hands like a
ring girl yeah it's i mean like like holding it up a card how much less exciting would that be
than a belt with like the you know yeah i got this belt you could wear you could throw it over
your shoulder there's i want that so bad like rubbing it proving that it's embossed yeah that's right
motherfucking look at that trip puts a lighter up to it it's flam it's got a watermark flame proof
that won't burn see that that ain't even fucking paper man it doesn't burn
uh so he's starting to have a few bucks and he's starting to act like an idiot a little bit
he's uh starting to care more about fucking off than the actual boxing at this point which is a
a lot of boxers go through this period where they're they're they don't give a shit about
they're like i don't know i don't need to study i'm just a pretty good boxer
and then they get beat a couple of times and like whoa that hurt a lot i better fucking
concentrate i don't know what I was thinking before.
Because you can't just be a boxer and not pay attention to stuff
because you'll get beaten up physically constantly, so that's not good.
So he's starting to do some weird shit.
I guess he liked antiques.
And in one interview he said, quote,
I'm in the process of getting an old phone box, man.
Like one of those old old phone box, man.
Like one of those old British phone booths, which that's cool.
And the accordion door that closes.
Yeah, that whole thing. He says he talks about he doesn't really know much about boxing.
He says, like, what's going on in it?
He said, some people know it all.
Tyson can tell you everything about every fighter
me i don't know anything don't even know fighters in my own division some of the fighters i boxed
i've forgotten their names so you're not going to do well in this sir this is not bad for you
not paying any attention you know what we'll call it right now grace yes this is grace he's still
winning but he doesn't even care to remember people's names
who he's beaten that's not a good sign at all i don't think for anybody so we're calling grace
here no that's so not good man you hear that and you go oh this is gonna he forgot their names and
that's not just from getting the shit pummeled out of him because he's undefeated at this point
yeah he just didn't even care to remember them didn't make the effort to fucking lock that one down
couldn't even just jot it down real quick this is 2010 he's got a notes app on his iphone like
just jot it down real quick all right this guy punched him in face repeatedly until he went
unconscious okay i like to remember the names
of the people who i beat into unconsciousness don't you yeah all right right i don't know on
television too and you know in a in a in a in a fucking industry like that you're always chasing
somebody wouldn't you want to know who you're chasing to be i don't know better or best at or
i'm gonna fuck him up yeah talking about who is that i don't know fucking better or best at? I'm going to fuck him up. What are you talking about, man? Who is that?
I don't know, fucking big white guy.
I got his number, though.
Tell him he can't fucking hide, and then tell me who his name is, because I don't remember it.
That guy banging that blonde American actress, who's that?
Yeah.
Klitschko.
He's the fucking champion.
What are you talking about?
So now he has a problem in may 2010 yeah it's
it's a big problem and it's a problem for somebody else and we'll get into the details of it later
but he's arrested here uh-huh for uh he was at his girlfriend's house oh no apparently uh she
went into the bathroom and he thought that was a good time to pick up her phone and start going through her text messages.
Oh, no.
Everybody, it's never a good idea to do that.
That's called looking for a fight.
You're looking for a fight.
Looking for a fight.
Even if you find no like cheating or anything like that, you're going to find something you don't like or something that annoys you.
You're looking for a text message from a girlfriend
who's got something shitty to say about you
and then you're going to be like,
why didn't she like me?
Is it something you said about me to her?
Obviously you said something shitty about me.
What did I do to you?
Shut the fuck up.
No good can come from this.
No.
Stop it.
Leave people alone.
Leave people their privacy.
Ladies, fellas, it doesn't matter what sex you are.
Stay the fuck out of their phone women
love to fucking go through phones this is not just for the guys but don't for guys it becomes like
aggressive and like a reason to do you know whatever but still everybody stay out of your
fuck imagine a phone whatever's in that phone just think of it as down their pants that's it
as down a stranger's pants it's not your business
you can't just reach down there and feel around not okay just fucking leave it alone whatever it
is it's not your business it doesn't matter put it that way also if you catch them cheating uh
that's on you too yeah i don't know what to tell you about that yeah that's uh your fault also because you
weren't supposed to see that catch him elsewhere catch him some other way but don't fucking that
is so slimy it's i hate it more than anything well she's in the bathroom too so it's like gross
he doesn't know what she's doing in there he doesn't know right you know how much time he
has for this he might yes This might be a pee.
Women pee quick sometimes.
They're in and they're out.
Is he that brazen that he's like, ah, left your phone, move your feet, lose your seat kind of thing?
Kind of.
Well, right away, he got into it with her.
One of the messages, later on a lawyer will say, one of these messages to her mobile phone was from another man.
In response, he shouted, what is this?
Who is this?
Blah, blah, blah.
So that started like that.
I'll give you the beginning of it.
She says at this point, the lawyer said at this point, he grabbed her by the arms and threw her onto the bed and said, you cheated on me.
So, yeah, we'll get into the details of that in just a moment here uh because
he has a fight right around this time too where he fights sam sexton again and uh tko's him in the
ninth round so you know i'll correct what i just said ps if you catch them cheating there there's
no more words to be said the relationship's obviously over yeah go away yeah don't get to
this point where you're grabbing and throwing and punching and swinging.
It's over.
Walk.
I don't get it with some people, man.
Some people have to get some sort of vengeance and they have to like, they need justice.
Right?
It's justice.
How dare you?
It's like, calm down.
You know what I mean?
Go on with your life.
Everybody calm the fuck down.
Take it easy.
She blew somebody else.
Relax.
Everybody relax. Everybody do your thing. Everybody. I'm so. life everybody calm the fuck down take it everybody blew somebody relax relax everybody
relax everybody do your thing everybody i'm so uh people okay everybody needs everybody you know
i'll volunteer to do as many as i can with this but everybody needs like an italian uncle okay
that can sum up everything in like a sentence very glib and then yell at you when you're an
idiot and call you a fucking idiot you know what i'm saying like like therapy is great and we
obviously you're a big into therapy and we're huge proponents of therapy obviously in any sort
of mental health i don't care how together you have it no you need therapy exactly everybody's
got you're fucked up somewhere in there and you could probably fix it or feel better but at the same time i feel like uh i don't know how to put this in a certain way
therapists aren't real big on saying hey dumb fuck they're not huge on that and sometimes
that's the approach you need that's going to actually help you to be a better person not a
narcissistic piece of shit
you know what i'm saying because sometimes the other point of the two games is if you're not
smart enough to absorb what your therapist is saying because if your therapist says to you
you know maybe journal write some of this down because what they're telling you is the shit you
just said to me is fucking nuts and you need to read it. Yes, but what some people hear is what?
They hear, you're doing it right.
You just need to write down your goals and move forward.
And then read it and look at it as gospel because you wrote it and anything that flows from your hand is beautiful.
That's what they hear.
Those are not people that are working on themselves.
Those are people that are trying to find a reason to legitimize their shit behavior.
Thank you.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's why I think in addition to therapy, every time someone goes to therapists, like
BetterHelp, you guys should institute this.
I'll help you build the program if you want.
What you do is you have a therapist who does all the things, write this down, journal what
happened, talk about this, whatever.
You have that.
And then once a month or so, you have an Italian uncle where you just give him a rundown and
they tell you whether you're doing right, whether you're doing wrong.
You know, hey, listen, not for nothing.
I think that what the fuck are you thinking there?
This fucking guy.
How many would he call you once, twice a week?
This fucking guy doesn't like you.
Get over it already, you fucking dumb twat.
Get over it.
That's what I'm telling you.
Jesus Christ, you're worth more than that.
You know what I mean?
Find yourself somebody nice.
Quit your fucking complaining.
Put your fucking journal away for five minutes and go out and fucking meet somebody, you goddamn lazy asshole.
And they'd be like, yes, I'm going to do it. Once a month it once a month you're gonna have babies with this idiot he doesn't have a job
yeah yeah and that goes that goes for men or women what this fucking broad you yeah you read
her messages on his cell phone she's cheating fucking break up with her then what's wrong with
you so what you got no fucking confidence you're gonna find somebody else get the fuck out the
fuck out of here with this bullshit i want to hear it from you you need that guy don't tell your wife don't tell your
aunt i told you that yeah that guy right there with a therapist but like i said it can't be an
even sweet that guy can only come in like once a month and then the therapist should also vet what
he said and tell him like yeah you know that's all good but you need every once in a while somebody
to call you a dumb fucking oh yeah, yeah, I am a dumb fuck.
Jesus.
It just keeps you grounded, making you a better overall person for everybody.
That's what I mean.
It's tough work, man.
But you've got to do.
It's not a gift.
Nobody's doing the work for you.
You've got to do the work.
You're nailing it over and over again.
That's exactly, exactly, exactly the truth.
It's work for you.
Some people think the act of just I went to therapy, so that means I should be better now.
Right.
I'm cured.
Yeah, it's a purchase.
I went to McDonald's, therefore a hamburger comes into my car window.
You know what I mean?
Upon happiness.
Just right in there.
It's like, no, no, no.
That's like buying a gym membership, putting some shorts on and going there and just hanging out.
Like, why aren't I in shape? I'm at the the gym i was at the gym at six o'clock this morning
i didn't do anything but i was there this is bullshit sat on a bench and checked instagram
for two hours and came home i should be for some reason my heart rate's still the same
and i'm no stronger that's a tough one man so uh anyway november 2010 is when the all the legal problems
come up for him this is when we find out after he's arrested for his incident with his girlfriend
here that he has had previous convictions for public order offenses and also assaulting a
police officer at one point and he's also been convicted
of possession of an offensive weapon
so he's
had some back that's in addition to
fighting five guys and tomatoes
and guns and drugs that he
said as well maybe the possession of an offensive
weapon is his guns but
he didn't mention offensive weapon is that like a dildo
gun maybe an offensive
weapon it's a it's a dildo gun? Maybe. An offensive weapon.
It's a dildo that fires darts out of the end of it.
It's very offensive.
And dangerous.
Yeah. It's a flashlight that fires fucking rockets.
Oh, Jesus Christ. Watch out for that.
Don't fuck the wrong end of that thing.
What is it? When you come, rockets fire out the other end of it and that's how it works yay the wait is over so far you're not losing the only thing you're losing is my patience
quickly i see that the queen of the courtroom is back i didn't do anything you wouldn't know
the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
Okay, so, um.
This is not a so, this is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother. That's not him her? Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin. His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
The Emmy Award winning series returns.
How did I know that?
I have a crystal ball in my head.
It's an all new season.
It's streaming.
You can say anything.
Judy Justice.
Only on Freebie.
Judy Justice only on Freebie
so he didn't mention
assaulting a police officer though
that's not good
so his girlfriend is Yalda Contrachi
she's an Iranian
she's from Iran originally
she's an interior design student
she's 24 years old
they've been dating for 7 months
and everything seemed
wonderful until one night in her flat in north london when he uh he was uh he went and checked
her phone and uh then she went into the bedroom and he stormed in screaming what's this message
and apparently it was a it wasn't even a boyfriend it was a friend of hers that called her babe oh
god so you know just how people talk to each other yeah you know like a man or a dude or whatever
that's just their shorthand i guess and uh he uh freaked the fuck out didn't like that at all
and so he grabbed her by the arms she said quote he came into my bedroom with my phone in his hands.
He didn't let me explain.
He just grabbed me and started slapping me.
Oh, no.
This is a big 250-pound professional boxer who, you know, can knock five guys out.
This is ridiculous.
Quote, he grabbed both of my arms with both hands.
I was lying down, and he held me really hard because he has strong hands.
He was hitting my buttocks and legs.
I thought he was going to kill me.
He slapped me across the face, then put me down on the bed and started slapping me all over my back and bum.
Jesus Christ.
Spanking her, hitting her all over her back or her ass, her face.
This is fucking awful.
She said, i didn't know
what to do he's so strong i was terrified my face was swollen and my whole body hurt holy fuck man
this is a this is not okay so yeah this is an assault uh she said my arms were red my face
was red and so was my bottom where he had been hitting me so in court she says all this in court
and um this doesn't go over well in court oh sure he's
standing there in a suit looking all huge and buff and 250 pounds and she's you know on the
stand crying about he's slapped the shit out of me that's not good at all bad bad bad for him so
the judge and we love a good indignant oh yeah english magistrate that's there's nothing like a bit the term you sir
may fuck off yeah came from gavin grant when an english judge said gave a long speech before he
sentenced him and i was like jesus might as well told him to fuck off that's wild so again this
judge will not be outdone god damn it he says quote you're a huge man clearly a very powerful boxer
oh you know he's setting him up for a fall on this shit right away you're a huge man clearly
a very powerful boxer he described the attack as an ugly incident and he said quote you clearly
have a problem with violence and that has got to stop or your career career will be over never mind his
career he's gonna kill a fucking girlfriend or something here so then he said quote your behavior
on 28 may was disgraceful and downright humiliating you used violence on this young lady and then to
he to heap ignominy on her you turned her over and slapped her on the bottom repeatedly you sir
may fuck off you are given a 12 week suspended sentence 12
suspended for two years ordered to pay 1500 pounds in compensation, 500 pounds in court costs, and do 150 hours of community service.
And two years, if he fucks up, he gets those 12 weeks back.
I guess so, yeah.
The 12 weeks will be back before the court.
Sure.
So that was quite the speech to give him nothing.
Absolutely.
He acted like he was the fucking Jack the Ripper.
Knock on home.
Ignominy.
Ignominy.
He was like, that's he really laid it out there thick.
And then he's like, 12 weeks, but not now.
Yeah.
Go home.
Get yourself a bath and have a good meal and lay down and lie down in bed.
Because now take a lie down.
So get out of my face time out yeah so uh he's talking about he they he's
could fight vladimir klitschko that's on the uh on the radar here he's scheduled to fight him
uh i can't look i don't see how that how that guy is not uh ever just always the champion unless he dies or quits fighting because i mean he's like
50 now but not 50 but he's in his 40s he could kick the shit out of anybody he's a bad motherfucker
they're huge they stay in good shape they're just ivan drago these two guys both of them
vitaly and vladimir they're both machines it's unbelievable it's interesting here uh he december 11 2010 the
fight was supposed to happen all the way up until three days prior to the fight uh klitschko tore
an abdominal muscle while he was sparring and had to pull out of the fight so there was that
it was rescheduled but then it was canceled so klitschko could fight somebody that he could make more money against. basically he fucking lost out twice
on Klitschko fights.
So instead, he fights on
July 23, 2011. He fights
Tyson Fury, who's
a great fighter here.
14-0 at the time
Tyson is. Oh, he's new.
He's new. And Chizor is
14-1, so this is an even match
currently right now tyson is 30 uh 30 wins no losses one draw he still hasn't lost he's a
it's a bad dude this fight goes all 12 though i mean chizora's he knows he's crafty knows how to
hang in there he takes all the shots apparently in the next fight because they fight twice
in the next fight out of nowhere tyson fury came out and he just fought southp in the next fight because they fight twice and then the next fight out of
nowhere tyson fury came out and he just fought southpaw the whole fight which uh really completely
fucked chizora up he trained for the you know he trained because he fought him once before so he
thought he knew what to expect and it's a completely different fighter and tyson's a champion right now
he just beat the shit out of him i assume so if he's 30 zero and one he's had to have won some
belts by now there's like 45 right now probably so uh yeah unanimous decision loss for chizora here uh so i'm sorry
this guy brought him to 14 and 1 they both came into the fight 14 and 0 wow so that was this is
his first loss chizora so not bad at all uh november 11 2011 he whoa, this is a name, Rimajijujus.
Rimajijujus.
Rimajijujus, sorry.
Rimajijujus Ziazulziz.
Rimajijujus is his first name?
His first name is R-E-M-I-G-I-J-U-S.
Wow.
I don't even know. And his last name is Z i a u s y s where is he from zeosis um i i
don't even remember uh fuck this guy didn't write that one down somewhere yeah one of those i want
to say it was like uh former yugoslavia or some shit like that he's from that's an incredible name that is uh
that's probably just paul uh paul pierce in that country like it's a very common name
be funny if even in that country they were like what the fuck is your name dude
what is that so uh this dude is 18 and 43 coming into this fight. Not great. His career record, 20 wins, 109 losses, and five draws.
Bro, quit.
Get out.
That's, I mean, with a name like that, what else are you going to do at that point, though?
I mean, no one could pronounce my name.
I'm just staying in this.
Be a dentist.
Might as well.
His teeth are probably fucked up, too, so it would help.
So he wins by points, does Derek here.
He's 15 and 1.
An article comes out in a magazine around this time that it's just like one of those, what are your likes?
It's like a questionnaire that he filled out.
So let's find out a little bit about Derek during this time.
Thinks he's hot shit.
Yeah.
You know, this sort of deal.
Okay.
These are his likes, you know.
He's doing like a Reddit ask me anything.
Kind of. More like a USA Today today just like a real cheese dick middle america type of thing here uh early boxing
memory uh my first amateur fight well let's i think he took that a little literally he did
early my first fight yeah that's that's early for me He's like literally his first memory of boxing is what he thought of.
Boxing heroes, Floyd Mayweather Jr., Mike Tyson, Muhammad Ali, and Riddick Bowe.
Okay.
So, I mean, that makes sense.
Kind of hacky, but all right.
Yeah, I mean, what else are you going to say?
I don't know.
Dig deep.
Find somebody that we don't know of.
Joe Lewis, maybe, or somebody like that.
You could say.
You could pull.
Somebody we've never heard of but you know is good at something really specific.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
Or pick somebody like Ken Norton.
I don't know.
Just like some 70s guy who had two great fights.
First job, mechanic, I guess.
I don't know.
Current car, he says he has a smart car which i don't believe
there's no way he can fit in that well based on the cars he has like in the next fucking year i
can't believe that he's driving like giant bentley's and shit there's no way he was
a man over 5 10 can't fit in a smart car no i've seen smart cars i feel like
for me it would be best if there was one seat just in the
middle of the car right no front seat no back seat just one seat in the middle and i could like put
my you know elbows on the windows and i could fit in it that way they make help a lot now you should
get one they make one and it's built in arizona and it is it's a three-wheeled car it's two wheels
in the front one in the back why would, one seat. Why would I want that?
It's so rad.
I don't want that.
I want a fucking golf cart that's off a little bit.
And it's electric, and it does like 80.
It's so rad.
Oh, man.
Last, I don't want that.
Maybe for like if you had some, not on the road.
I want it for the road.
People drive like shit in arizona there's no
fucking way you're gonna get killed by some old lady from minnesota who just sideswiped
she doesn't know she doesn't know that you inch your way out on a fucking you know she doesn't
know about the suicide turn in an intersection yeah she doesn't get it and thinks that's just
another lane creams you head on so uh he says last book read romeo and juliet it's probably 10th grade
that was probably the last book he read was they make you read that in high school uh i don't know
if they do in england or not but i'm sure they do favorite movies rambo he likes his action here
guys into rambo reads shakespeare fuck out of here yeah no they made him read that in high
school i'm sure but then
he beat the headmaster up because he didn't like it
right this is for
Romeo motherfucker just
knocked him out so
he says favorite flavor
favorite ice cream flavor vanilla
childhood dreams
to enjoy life and it came true
okay pre
fight mindset to get everybody upset pre-fight meal
pasta linguine and clams is my is the present
greatest sports moment great the question is greatest sports moment yeah every moment spent
with my mother and my girlfriend is his answer to that what are you talking about sir sir that is not the question pay attention my mom
seems like someone was asking him these questions while he was like
fucking looking through twitter basically that's what it seems like checking his app mentions like
best uh sports moment what best moment i don't know my mom my
girl are great every moment spent with them is cool man i don't know shit oh cool this dude
retweeted me all right most painful moment being banned from boxing for six months uh which fight
were you at your best he says all 17 fights so he is not fucking around here um funniest boxing memory when i bit paul butlin's
ear that's his funniest hilarious hilarious when i bit a man in public when i didn't uh follow the
rules of boxing yeah yeah oh i forgot to mention this before too most embarrassing boxing memory
kissing carl baker at the weigh-in he kissed the big giant fridge guy at the weigh-in.
I think he mixed up those two answers.
That is certainly the funniest.
That's the funniest, yeah.
And the most embarrassing should be when he bit a man.
When he bit a guy's ear, yeah.
He said that's the most embarrassing.
No, that's funny.
He kissed a big fat guy.
That's hilarious.
That's hilarious.
That's just funny.
Strangest fighter opponent.
An American guy I fought in 2005 2005 i don't remember his name so
he really doesn't remember people's names so there you go uh who was the first famous boxer
you ever met none so i guess he's met none he still hasn't met a famous boxer you've met
vladimir klitschko i think he's famous so there you go fought tyson fury for christ's sake there you go there's some fame favorite sport outside of boxing football tennis and cricket both to watch and
practice okay uh favorite boxers to watch today mayweather and pacquiao uh funniest boxers you've
encountered frankie gavin and personality qualities you most admire, kindness and respect.
Yeah.
Like respect for your girlfriend's privacy.
Yeah.
And then show her some kindness when you find her indiscretions.
And don't pummel her. Not even hers.
A dude called her babe.
Calm the fuck down.
You didn't even find a dick in there.
Well, maybe when she got the phone, she was going to be like, don't call me babe, motherfucker.
Who the fuck?
You don't know what her response is going to be.
You don't know who that dude is. You don't know anything. Right. How about don't? But then you, I don't call me babe motherfucker who the fuck you don't know what her response is going to be you don't know who that dude is you don't know anything right about don't but then
you i don't know man either way you can't slap people that's the problem so uh especially women
yeah anybody but especially and yeah when you're a professional boxer you really got to watch who
you slap around because sure you know you can pretty much beat most people up that are walking around it's not fair so just is boxing is boxing like for heavyweights like uh the way
musicians and comedians are where they they'd rather be each other do you know what i mean
like comedians want to play guitar or drums or sing or whatever and uh artists want to fucking
tell dick jokes are boxers like that because he loves watching pacquiao and mayweather yeah but boxers are like that too they have interests like every
every sport or entertainment has a thing that they'd rather be that's it it's a weird it's
just fascinating that he loves those two boxers yeah well i mean i i get it though i mean at the
time he was uh favorite boxers to watch today, and that was like 2011.
So there was, you know, they're the most the ones that everybody's watching at the time.
Yeah, that makes sense here.
But if you're a heavyweight boxer, wouldn't you have a favorite heavyweight to watch because you want to beat that guy and, you know, be champion?
Later on, he'll say how bullshit he thinks the lower weight guys are anyway and how they don't.
It's fucking funny.
So I don't know what he's talking about.
He really goes up and down in his emotions and his thoughts and his positions on things.
It's over the way the wind blows.
That day, December 3rd, 2011, he's in Helsinki, Finland.
So doing something different.
He fights Robert Hellenius, who's known as the nordic
nightmare yeah so there you go he's 16 and 0 coming in though so not bad he's still fighting
currently now he's 30 and 3 currently so uh this fight goes all 12 and it's a split decision loss for Chisora here. Oh, no. So he's 15 and two.
But this fight is bullshit.
Basically, he wins by split decision.
Helenus, two of the judges scored the fight 115 to 113.
And the third scored at 115 to 113.
But two for Helenus and one for Chisora.
But it was debated.
And everybody, all the people, the commentators were like, well, that's not right.
Chisora won that fight.
The Ring magazine considered the outcome of the match to be a gift, and they actually dropped Hellenist in ranking after the fight.
So that's no good at all.
Everybody basically counted it like Chisora won because it was a total bullshit decision.
He should have won the fight.
The after effects are in Chisora's favor even though the win and loss column are not.
Exactly.
And he said he wanted a rematch in a neutral territory because that's what happens with home crowds wherever you are.
It's more likely.
So his next fight is going to be uh Klitschko
not Vladimir but Vitaly he's getting the other Klitschko at this point so this is a big deal
here uh Klitschko it was 40 at the time and Chisora was 28 and he said that uh Chisora doesn't
consider that a weakness though he said yeah he's old man, but he's a wise man.
So, yeah, he says, but I'm going to win.
I'm going to be world champion.
Why?
Because I think he'll lose focus.
No one has ever really pushed him by getting stuck into him from the start.
That's what I'll be doing, like a gladiator,
and I'll make him lose his focus.
Okay.
So, he's going to do it, goddammit.
He says that when they ask him wow that's that's
wild here the they were asking him about the uh uh asking him about the network that was covering
it and shit like that and he said i don't follow boxing so uh vitality was there and he said it's
your biggest mistake my recommendation from old
generation to young generation study your opponents yeah so even he was like what are
you fucking stupid dude don't do that don't say that uh so the weigh-in comes around and he comes
in very strange he comes in with a bandana around his face like he's trying to prevent covet except
in 2012 right he looks more like he's
trying to rob a bank at that point it's a you know got the union jack on it so he's he's representing
there he uh he's got that he he steps up to klitschko they talk shit in their faces like they
you know happens at weigh-ins yep pretty common stuff there they're they're yapping back and
forth so this continues they're face to face and all that until they're yapping back and forth so this continues face
to face and all that until chizora pulls back and slaps klitschko in the face no so uh yeah that was
pretty silly he slaps him and then he says quote i ain't come here to play games i come here to fight
which you just came there to get weighed actually right to play games or fight
don't worry it It's coming.
You literally have a contract, and the cameras are all going to be there.
So that ended up happening.
What you just did was unsanctioned assault, sir.
That was just for no reason.
He said that the trainer, Don Charles, called the slap unacceptable,
and his manager said that it left him in a state of shock.
He said no one expected him to do that.
And yeah, they also said, quote,
it was unprovoked and he should have been concentrating
on doing that tomorrow night.
But it has happened, so now we'll try to move on.
You always expect something from Derek.
He's a character, but it's usually just winding people up
or something jovial.
So for him to get physical or aggressive,
unprovoked, is surprising.
But I'm sure there's a method to his madness,
and we'll find out if it's paid off.
Okay.
You piss off a giant Russian who knows how to box really well?
Is that your strategy?
Odd.
So at that point,
after he slapped him and he said,
I come here to fight,
Klitschko looked at the cameras and said,
quote,
what can you expect from a guy who hits his
girlfriend i'm glad he has agreed to fight a man again instead wow so talk about the fucking
ultimate heckle retort that was holy shit he was i mean the slap was still in the air and he's like
what do you expect from a guy who hits his fucking girlfriend like it was no he didn't have a chance to think about it and like you know put it out on instagram later
that was just done that's wild so uh yeah i guess chizor is an underdog here but he says he's going
to win he said i'm the underdog which is how i like it because when i knock him out in the eighth
it will shock the world i'm confident that i'm going to smash Klitschko to bits.
It will be at 100% and his old legs won't be able to keep up.
I'll make sure he won't get to use his height and reach advantage.
I'm going to war.
I'm going to destroy his body.
Destroy his body so his head can't think.
That makes no sense.
Yeah.
Maybe you should aim a little higher you could do how do you you
can destroy his body so his head can't think i guess i mean it could might not be able to make
your body do things but it can still think if you punch someone just said a bunch of words that's
what he did i said a bunch of words um so that's interesting here uh then at one point uh they talked about he talked about how uh
they asked him well you you slapped him but you kissed carl the fridge baker what's up with that
why didn't you kiss why didn't you kiss him what are you kissing some people and slapping some
people for right and he says discerned between who you kiss lick and slap which one is what's
up with that and who you pin to a, and slap? What's up with that?
And who you pin to a bed and slap repeatedly.
Right.
What if he tried to pin Klitschko to a bed saying, what are these text messages?
That would have been really weird.
Why didn't you just spank him?
Well, his answer is, quote, I swing both ways, man.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Yeah, I don't think he fully understood what he was saying because um everybody was like
oh shit you see people are writing stuff down oh damn he just literally they were like he just came
out that's crazy just or just came out and then later on so then they asked him about and he said
quote i'm straight man but i support my brothers and sisters if that's the direction they want to
take so at least he's not against gay people so good for him so february 18 2012
uh this is the day of the fight now it's in munich germany so you know it's a big deal
chisora is in the back and vladimir klitschko is vitaly second when he fights so he's there
and he's the guy who goes in and inspects the opponent's wraps because they're
allowed to send a representative to inspect the wraps to make sure they're not you know
plaster so all that and nails yeah what's in there just thumbtacks and shit in there
so vladimir goes in to inspect chisora's hand wraps and he takes issue with the way chisora's
hands were wrapped so chisora rips off all of his wraps and threatens to fucking call the fight off.
He says, fuck this shit.
You don't like it?
I'll take off my wraps and I won't fight shit then.
No one will have a fight tonight.
Well, that seems overblown.
That's a big deal.
So he ends up rewrapping his fists in a satisfactory manner.
Right.
They get out to the ring and uh vladimir is in the ring
with his brother fatali who's fighting and uh apparently chizora comes up over there to vladimir
to you know acknowledge his presence maybe would shake his hand or something like that sure instead
though he spits a stream of water into his face that he had stored up in his mouth. He held that all the way to the ring.
Across the ring, because he got a drink in the corner,
and then went over and spit it in Vladimir's face.
So that's not good.
That's not good.
Very unprofessional.
Vladimir said it was very hard not to break his face at that point.
Oh, I'm sure.
After that, he's like, I really wanted to.
You realize I fight too, right?
Yeah, I'm pretty fucking tough that, he's like, I really wanted to. You realize I fight too, right? Yeah, I'm pretty fucking tough as a matter of fact.
So he fights Vitaly, whose nickname is Dr. Iron Fist, which I think is a hilarious nickname.
He's 43 and 2 coming in.
So that's nobody to trifle with.
Yeah, he's a bad motherfucker.
This fight goes all 12 rounds because Vitaly had a fucked up left hand, apparently.
It was like he had a fracture in it or something.
But he still owned.
He's a bigger guy.
He still has a fucking anvil head.
Yeah, and he was dropping rights on him like crazy.
So it's a unanimous decision loss for Chisora.
15-3 is his record here.
Now comes the fun part.
You would think spitting water, slapping in the face. Chizora. 15-3 is his record here. Now comes the fun part.
You would think spitting water, slapping in the face,
fights his girlfriend in a big fight.
That's not as interesting as the
post-fight press conference, okay?
What's he say? This is crazy. Well, he
starts a brawl with a guy named David
Hay, who's another boxer who will fight later.
And Hay
tried to piss him off and all this shit.
Chizora gets out of his seat while in the
middle of taking questions from the media because you know they had the boxers up on a panel they're
taking questions from the media and this hey is talking shit from the crowd so uh chizora gets up
from the dais there and goes down to fight hey basically he goes down there uh chizora gets
close to him and next thing you know it's a
fucking brawl basically um hay was attending the fight as a commentator for somebody too
like as as press basically um he they were he was demanding a fight and uh basically he said uh um
chisora he said then he was saying how he wanted to fight Vladimir Klitschko again and all this shit.
So it was interesting.
So Hay says he'd knock him out.
All this shit ends up happening.
I guess Chisora ends up shoving him.
Hay pops Chisora in the face.
From there, shit goes crazy.
Chisora hits him back.
Then Hay hits Chisora's trainer, Don Charles.
Oh, no.
Somebody hit Hay's trainer this guy adam
booth who looked like he had like a rick flair 1985 level blood flow going on where he was a
whole face pouring down like he just got out of the fucking steel cage it's crazy yeah it's it's
wild here so all of this is going on hay swings his huge tripod knocks a light off and swings a
huge tripod at one of chizora's friends he's picking up weapons oh absolutely here so that
ends up happening shit's flying around everywhere then at one point uh you hear chizora over the
whole melee say quote he glassed me he's saying he hit him with a glass he
glassed me fucking pussy
David David Hay the boxer
I'm going I'm gonna shoot you
I swear to God David
I'm going to fucking shoot you I'm going
to shoot you I'm going to shoot
David Hay I am going to shoot
David Hay he fucking glassed
me so he
made sure to say it very clearly so it can't oh they might think that I'm going to shoot David Hay he fucking glassed me so he made sure to say it very clearly so it can't oh they might
think that I'm going to shoot David Hay it's got to be specific he said that multiple times that's
insanity you can't do that by the way that's that's not okay did he glass him though I don't
they don't know they don't think so it didn It didn't seem like it, but there was shit flying around everywhere.
Who knows if he got a bag of glass?
Somebody.
The promoter here called it an embarrassment for British boxing.
He said, quote, I would say they're total idiots.
So there you go.
Chisora taunted Hay about losing his belt to Klitschko,
and then that's what started the whole thing and then it was a goddamn
whole fucking melee going on here so um uh yeah this is uh oh yeah Chisora had a glass bottle
at one point too but had it wrestled a security guard wrestled away from him um this is fucking
insanity man this was a really uh Hay was shouting, you've lost three fights in a row.
And then after the fight, he said, that's four now.
So there was that.
Yeah.
Now Vitaly Klitschko watching this from the side was like, whoa, this is crazy.
He said, quote, I have respect for Chisora as a fighter, but not as a human being.
He said he comes from Great Britain, but he's not a gentleman.
I heard him say, I will shoot you.
That is a criminal act.
So it's like you can't do that.
Wow.
His manager, this guy, burned Bonte.
He says, I have previously only witnessed such scenes among the fans of certain English football clubs.
Chisora is really sick.
This is fucking.
This is hilarious here.
He already got fined thirty one thousand five hundred pounds for slapping Klitschko earlier in the in the 30,000 pounds.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thirty thousand pounds here um hay later said quote he
needs to check into an anger management clinic before he kills someone which is not bad advice
here yeah says the guy who was just threatened with being shot repeatedly yeah over and over
again and then his ex-girlfriend uh contrracci, who he assaulted, she also thought the same thing.
Oh, she agrees.
She said she watched it on TV and she said, quote, I thought, oh, my God, it's coming.
She said moments before the attack, David Haye.
The way he walked over to him, he had the same look.
I can't explain it.
He had that same crazy look in his eyes.
It was the same as the night he attacked me.
So she knows when he's going to snap there yeah apparently um now as he's leaving munich he and his trainer chisora and
his trainer don charles are both arrested at the munich airport for what for assaulting and saying
he's going to shoot david hay oh for that yeah yeah they take that shit seriously over there
apparently so uh oh that little thing that happened.
So he does that.
They're taken into questioning.
Police are also urging David Hay to turn himself in so they can get further detail.
They said they missed him at the hotel and they can't find David Hay, basically. So he ends up being released.
Chisora is after seven hours of questioning by police.
A black van carried him from there, brought him back to the hotel. He ends up being released, Chisora is, after seven hours of questioning by police.
A black van carried him from there, brought him back to the hotel.
They said he still faces a charge of simple assault, but he'll be allowed to return back to England for now.
So, yeah, he's gone here.
Obviously, he said he was surprised, and it's like, what are you surprised about?
You're in a foreign country threatening to shoot people.
You can't do that.
Yeah. You're threatening acts of violence that are beyond just fighting.
That's your you're bringing gunplay into a boxing match.
Now, fucking nuts, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So he's actually ordered to go to anger management after the slap by the boxing council there they order he has to go to
250 pound an hour managed anger management sentence uh set uh sessions for this that's
fucking steep that's a lot those are expensive so july 14th i guess that's a big job though to get
this guy to not want to be violent because i feel like it's a man that guy's anger has got it it's
a big job man it's a lot heavy duty stuff yeah you has got to. It's a big job, man. It's a lot. Happy duty stuff.
Yeah.
You got to really put your dishwashing gloves on and get in there.
This isn't a job for the fine touch.
No, sir.
No, no.
July 14th, 2012, he fights David the Haymaker Hay, the guy who he fought.
He's in?
Yeah.
He's in.
He's fighting.
Hay is 25 and 2 coming in.
Okay.
He's no joke. That makes sense. Yeah. He's no joke He's fighting. Hay is 25-2 coming in. So he's no joke.
That makes sense.
Yeah, he's no joke, this guy.
He's 28-4 total for his career.
This fight, it's a real brawl, man.
He lands some big shots on Hay and back and forth.
And then the ref ends up calling it in the fifth round.
I believe Chisora got up, but the ref waved it off anyway.
So it's a Tko loss for chisora
15 and 4 so that's that here um he was banned from uh boxing actually in britain because of the brawl
but he gets licensed through another country to fight the hay fight which is crazy they let him
do that so uh then he gets reinstated to the British Boxing Board of Control,
reissued his boxing license in 2013.
He said, I'm glad that this whole episode is finally behind me
and I can carry on with my boxing career in my own country
and with a British Boxing Board control license.
So there you go.
He said his next fight against Hector Alfredo Avila, he said he's going to dedicate it to the late former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.
Why?
Who the fuck knows?
That's the oddest.
He's such a big fan of hers.
No idea.
That would be like Floyd Mayweather's next fight.
He's like, I'm dedicating this fight to Nancy Reagan.
What's up?
People would be like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Why?
What?
Somebody read me her book and it was great.
Like, what?
For real?
Very strange.
Okay.
I mean, sure.
Hilarious.
Well, to honor Margaret Thatcher, he beats the shit out of hector alfredo
avia uh who was 20 and 12 coming in this is a tko in the ninth round 16 and 4 for chisora uh next
he fights this is 2013 he fights malik king scott who is 35 oh and1 coming into this fight. Wow. So that's...
It's impressive.
Fuck.
Watch out for that guy.
But Chisora, TKO win in the sixth round.
Hands him his first loss.
Not too shabby.
17-4 now.
Next up, September 21, 2013.
This is for the vacant European title.
Oh, okay.
So it's a vacant title.
This is at the Copper Box Arena in queen elizabeth olympic park
in hackney wick which that's very specific that's a lot of words it's wow that's the most
british sounding thing i've ever seen copper box arena queen elizabeth olympic park in hackney wick
that is is there another copper box park somewhere apparently
they're all over the place i got a lot of copper boxes copper box arenas all over the place you
gotta specify that it's hackney wick right otherwise who's gonna know in queen elizabeth
queen elizabeth olympic park right shit he fights edmund gerber it's a terrible name edmund edmund with a u edmund gerber it's a
bad name jesus edmund isn't oh it's so terrible and then gerber is not a yeah those two together
are just bad together at least one of your names can be a refuge that's neither that's bad he's 23
and one coming in though so he's nasty uh tko win in the fifth uh in the fifth round for
chizora so not bad at all 18 and four next fight is also in hackney wick he this is for the wba
international title and the wbo international title okay who's going for belts here he fights
andre i guess it's dre o-n-d-r-e-j i think that's andre right yeah i think so
andre pala who's 32 and 3 coming in he's been fighting some real fucking bad dudes here fighters
yeah this is a tko win for chizora in the third round well early yeah uh 19 and 4 he's got a bunch of belts now that's good next up
he fights Kingpin Kevin Johnson
who's 29 and 4
this is a unanimous decision winning
the 12th round for Chisora
April 2014
he has his driver's license suspended
for having no insurance
so
why do all these rich athletes
not have fucking car insurance?
You know what, though?
It's not just reserved to them.
It's not the money.
It is so common that people don't have insurance.
But a lot of people do it because they don't want to pay for it, though.
That's why he's doing it because he's got like a $100,000 car at one point.
He gets pulled over in a Bentley with no insurance.
And it's like, do they just buy cars all the time and forget to just call it in and they're
just like that's fine i'm me who knows the insurance costs as much as the fucking car
per month sometimes i imagine probably jesus christ that kind of car forget it i don't know
what the hell bentley insurance goes for it's gotta be insane right i can't even fathom i gotta
assume that it's somewhere in the neighborhood at 12 1500 a month i i will say that's one thing i've never even looked into just i never thought
i would have any need for that information now i i wish i had it though it's gotta be a grand a
month at least i guess so so november 29th 2014 he fights tyson fury again for some reason i don't
get that and tyson the champion? Is he fighting for that?
I think so yeah or Tyson's fighting
for all his belts maybe that might be the way it works
he's 22-0 and
this is the one where Tyson Fury
comes out left handed comes out
fighting Southpaw which traditionally
Chizora's got problems with Southpaws like a lot
of people do and
especially if you train to fight a traditional
fighter and you're used to fight a traditional fighter and
you're used to an orthodox fighter and you fought this guy before right and now he's fighting
backwards that'll completely fuck your whole game plan up so strategic yeah fury beats the shit out
of him for nine rounds and then uh the corner keeps chisora in the corner for the 10th round
so that's it he's done
he stays there fury does not look like a boxer and that's what's so fucking awesome about that
guy no he doesn't but he's a bad dude he's a bad dude man he is uh so he's 20 and 5 now chizora
december 2014 this is something where he's going to end up being ordered to serve community service because he threatens to kill a man in a parking lot so um he's got some anger problems yeah i
would say here did he give specifics again this is this is pretty good here um he shouted and
swore at two men who blocked in his car that's what happened he He threatened to, quote, smash their faces and kill them in the street.
You don't have to say that at 6-1 and they know you fight.
Dude, he looks like a guy who would kick your fucking ass.
Like, he's got big shoulders and arms.
A guy like that says, unbox my car.
I'm going to bash your fucking face in.
I would assume he'll bash my face until I'm dead.
That'll probably kill me if he bashed my face in.'t even have to say i'm gonna kill you i don't even yeah don't
even connect them the dots here for me chief just let it flow brother i got it fuck man so um yeah
he ends up being arrested and he'll end up later on pleading guilty to threatening behavior with
intent to cause fear or provoke unlawful violence later on here.
What a church.
And all 60 hours of community service.
And basically, let's see here.
They said, quote, when they returned to the car park and it was full and the resident who was in a friend's car
decided to park in such a way that it blocked the vehicles in the car park.
decided to park in such a way that it blocked the vehicles in the car park so what they did was they left a note inside their windscreen with a mobile phone number if anyone needed them to move
so basically they left a note that's not how that works no like give me a ring and i'll come out
move my car yeah if you have to leave a note your shit's parked in conveniently figure it out yeah yeah so the driver manzor nikpor he says quote having left
the contact number we walked toward the post office and we were passed by a large black man
wearing sunglasses a red jacket and dark track suit bottoms and i looked at my friend and said
i hope he's not parked near us yeah hope that guy doesn't want to get out because he's a lot bigger than me
i bet you he can uh move my car with his arms he said he immediately started shouting and swearing
at us saying he was in a hurry and wanted us to move the car we said that we would move it and
there was no need to swear and continued walking toward the post office well why'd you continue
walking toward the post office if you said you'd move it oh no don't move it don't worry and walk in the other direction you're begging for this
interaction uh he said we returned again and the man began swearing and shouting at us yeah because
he was waiting for you if you don't move your car i'm going to punch you smash both your faces and
then the car so That's his threat.
I'm on his side here.
I'm kind of on his side, too.
I really am, because that's just an asshole thing to do.
Yeah, fuck these guys.
Circle the block a couple times until a spot opens up.
Right.
But no, you know why?
That would be inconvenient for you. So instead, you'll just inconvenience everybody else in the parking lot.
Right.
That's what that is.
You're a fucking asshole, sir.
But I want to park in there. But there's no spots. But I want to park there. else in the parking lot right that's what that is you're a fucking asshole sir i i don't but i want
to park in there but there's no spots but i want to park there too fucking bad this was in england
how fucking american of this guy dude where's italian uncle guy to step in and go what are
you a fucking asshole oh move your fucking car. What are you, leaving it here? What fucking people can't get out?
What's wrong with you?
I'll fucking give you the back of my fucking, get over there and move your goddamn car.
So much for being nice, England, you fucking jerks.
Circle the block, you fucking jerk off.
What do you think?
There's no spaces because they got there before you, you fucking asshole.
That's why there's no spaces.
Park at the end of the parking lot like everybody else does tough shit yeah jesus park down the
street and walk whatever the fuck it is that's not the answer now i realize late in the afternoon
now the parking lot's full that's your problem get here earlier you circle the block now like
i said threatening to kill someone and smash their
face is obviously not the reaction but i get the i get the emotion frustration i get i get it i get
how you feel so uh they said that uh yeah they went in and blah blah blah continued to swear
and then we went into the building because of his aggressive behavior oh boy um so then the
i guess the the defendant by that point chisora
followed them into the building and continued swearing and then he the other driver said that
he was going to call the police and uh he said chisora said quote call the police they won't do
anything you're wasting your time i'm late for my appointment i'll fucking kill you oh my god he said that in the
post office too um as he did that he poked the man in the chest with his finger by the way you
were in the right man what are you doing you're in the right until he said the cops won't do
anything i'm late for my appointment i'll kill you poke that's wow um damn it so yeah somebody who saw it a witness said he poked mr rosé rosé in the chest
with his finger and he said this and stood in the doorway swearing at them saying he was going to
smash their faces and quote punch their heads in punch their heads in is a great one just in
you're gonna push it even though it doesn't your brain's left to go somewhere maybe out of your
ears i'm not sure but i I'm going to punch it in.
He said police arrived and that just pissed off Chisora at that point.
Now he's just angry even more.
They said he was frantically shaking his hands and he told the officers, I totally get it.
He's shaking his hands going, I told him to move his damn car.
He's like, this shouldn't be.
He shouldn't have been fucking parked there.
Have we lost the plot of that's like this shouldn't he shouldn't have been fucking parked there have we
lost the plot of that's where this started this guy's a fucking asshole and parked in a shitty
place can we start there and then go to this can you yell at him first for his parking and then
we'll get to me threatening and then he said yeah i'll i'll move it for you, mate. And then he walked into a post office. Yeah. Fuck that guy.
That guy sucks.
That's what I mean.
I don't blame him.
I told him to move his damn car.
I've been waiting for ages.
When I leave here, I'll be getting my guys to come back and deal with them.
He told the cop that.
Don't tell the cop that you're going to go get more guys and, quote, deal with them.
That's not smart.
No. So then they said, quote, he with them. That's not smart. No.
So then they said, quote, he continued his aggressive behavior in front of the police.
In summary, it was a continuous tirade of behavior and an indication of threats saying he was going to kill.
So he must also pay $100 compensation to each victim.
Also, oh, boy.
That'll fix it, I'm sure.
Wow. What the fuck um his lawyer said quote he's made no bones about it and he has pleaded guilty this series of events began
through no fault of the defendant but he accepts that his behavior is unacceptable you know what
that's the most fair thing anyone said yeah but if unacceptable if he accepts the consequence of
behavior then there is certainly fault of his own.
Yeah.
Well, he said, I didn't start it, but I did react poorly to someone else's shitty behavior is what he said.
Really?
Which is technically true.
I mean, he did start it by touching somebody.
You can't touch people.
True, true.
But I do get-
He was in the right and winning.
His emotion is right, is what I'm getting at.
The want to yell at this guy, I get it.
But at that point, he was like a scared deer.
You're just scaring him away into the fucking post office.
Maybe because he's always in the wrong, being in the right, he overreacted and didn't know how to handle it.
Yeah, no shit.
He's like, I got to do something that puts me in the wrong now because i'm not used to this i don't know what to do here because the
smart thing would have been hey yeah can you move your car awesome and then once he moved it been
like you dumb motherfucker why the fuck would you park there in the first place he's the way you're
driving away like mate really come on yeah i've got to get out. Yeah, I'm late for a car. So, yeah, then he said, quote, this is his lawyer.
Still, the complainants parked the vehicle in an obstructive way, blocking this defendant's vehicle.
When he asked them to move, they continued to cross the road toward the post office.
This would not have happened if they had moved their vehicle.
They refused to move it, and they did not like the way he was talking to them.
He has having been blocked in.
He lost his cool and his frustration. His frustration got the better of him he's a professional sportsman
an athlete he's a professional boxer and he is in a position to pay so yeah he'll pay them their
hundred dollars um yeah uh that's fucking funny they wanted him to have like a curfew and all
this shit but because he had a previous suspended sentence but the lawyer said he trains he boxes in
the evening so a nighttime curfew would be too restricted it's his livelihood he's the bread
winner he's got a seven month old daughter he had a daughter along here at some point here
so they said they would recommend 60 hours of community service that way he could still train
and um yeah he said we've heard threats the bench i guess is the judge told chisora we've
heard of threats to smash both of the victims faces you poked one of them in the chest made
threats to kill both of them followed them to the address and continued to make threats to
smash their faces and continued when police arrived all that then he's like no punishment no punishment you can go on your merry way there chief so uh except pay them money except give them
a hundred bucks for that there you go for threatening their lives so i mean he gets he's
lucky to get out of that one you know what i mean and like he's really had some fucking problems and
uh he goes into a restaurant after this just to you know have a meal
with his friends and he's sitting there and uh he orders a salad because he's trying to stay trim at
this point because he's got he's got like uh whatever is he's got different parts of regimen
where he's trying to gain and lose weight and things like that so he needs a lot of greens and
shit like that he gets a salad and it's a spring mix oh no and he fucking loses his mind yeah because god damn it he ordered
arugula and the restaurant thinks he's crazy except for one man who steps to his defense
yeah it's adam the arugula connoisseur pac-man jones who steps in and he says he's got no music
so he just says um how is it you've come to arrive here, sir?
Because, no, I don't understand why you're here because you've, in my mind, done nothing out of the ordinary, nothing untoward, I would say.
These gentlemen, they park their car, blocking you into a post office.
Of course, you're motivating them simply.
In my mind, you're protecting them from
other people who could potentially be more violent from being locked in. You know, you're under
control. You're not going to hurt the man. You're just saying this as a motivate. This is what a
more a more unhinged man might tell you to do. And so you say, I'm not going to do that. So that's
understandable. I understand where you're coming from there is misunderstandings and then your girlfriend you are simply you have bad aim when you try to
high-five her from having a new friend you said yeah high-five yay new friend for you and and
you know and you just you're bad at it that's easily explained to the courts i don't understand
hit her in the thigh in the butt. Everywhere. Butter hand.
This is ridiculous.
It's so silly.
I mean, I just I was aiming.
It's bad.
You know, I didn't.
My hand was open.
Was it not?
I mean, it's a high five maneuver, clearly.
And then on top of that, there has been that the post fight that that was not your fault.
I saw it.
I said this.
This man was provoked., this man was provoked.
He was provoked.
He was simply trying to help a man get more followers on social media and up the awareness of what he was doing.
It was a helpful maneuver.
And I just want to shake your hand, sir.
Thank you, Mr. Chisora.
And then poof, in a puff of arugula leaves all falling down on a
nice salad onto derek's plate adam's gone yeah derek tried to take a swing at him he did threaten
to kill him but pac-man's a tough one seven and three
is becca um this fight lasts 29 seconds as derrick ko's him with an overhand right wow
god damn he was pissed about that fucking post office thing yeah he took it out on this guy
the guy didn't understand when he was screaming how that fucking post office thing. He took it out on this guy. He didn't let him have it.
The guy didn't understand when he was screaming,
how dare you block my fucking car in as he was hitting him.
He's like, I didn't even drive here tonight.
What the fuck do you mean?
Told you I was going to punch your head in, son.
Jesus Christ.
2015, September 26th, he fights Marcelo Nascimento.
17 and 10, Marcelo is.
18 and 20 for his career. He wins by points. Does Chisimento, 17 and 10. Marcello is 18 and 20 for his career.
He wins by points, does Chisora, 22 and 5.
November 2015, he is stopped by police driving a $120,000 black Bentley Continental Sport Supa.
Wow.
That's a hot car.
Holy shit.
that's a hot car oh shit he's driving in a high park central london and they pull him over for driving with no insurance no mot certificate which i assume is like a registration for britain
for great britain he was alleged also to not have a valid driver's license
none of the qualifiers to be in that car behind the wheel. Just driving a Bentley around.
Willy nilly.
Willy nilly like.
License, insurance, registration.
Nah.
Nah, I just got this.
I got this car, though.
So fucking weird.
Wow.
Then he fights Peter Erdos in Germany.
9-8-4, this guy is.
TKO's him in the fifth round.
23-5 for Chisora.
Then he fights, this is like a week later, December 12, 2015.
He fights Yakov Gospik.
Another great name.
TKO's this guy in the third round.
So he's getting some quick wins here.
24-5.
Next in Germany, a month later, he fights Andres Kazomor.
C-S-O Kazomor?
Kazomor?
I don't know.
14-8-1 this guy is, and he gets TKO'd in the second round,
so it really doesn't matter what his name is.
25-5.
So 25-5 is a pretty good record for Chisora here.
May 7, 2016 in Germany, he fights Kubrat the Cobra Pulev.
Okay. Go with the Cobra. Go with the Cobra,
sir. 22-1
this guy is coming in. He's currently
28-2 as we speak.
This fight goes all 12 rounds
unanimous or split decision
loss for
Chisora, 25-6.
So, May of
2016, he's driving uh it's 4 10 a.m yeah and he's clocked doing 80
miles an hour in a 50 mile an hour zone it's 4 10 in the morning yeah who fucking cares yeah well
who cares though no one else is on the road at 4 10 in the morning that's that's the point if
that's over yeah if you're alone on the road doing that speed and you get pulled over, you got no excuse.
No.
Of course you're...
Who cares?
No one else is here.
Safe for who?
You've got a point.
It's just me.
The speed limit is to keep everybody safe.
Yeah.
But if there is a speed limit that's 24 hours a day and you're the only one on the road
going too fast, if there's a cop
they're gonna notice it you know they're gonna notice it and they're bored because they're just
sitting there waiting for something to happen so uh they said that he likes to train at night and
he works out alone to build his stamina so he was coming home from training he is uh driving i
believe a mercedes this time they said he likes to train very early in the morning because if he does it that way, he finds it builds up
his stamina. Okay, great.
His lawyer said photographs
of the road show there was absolutely no
one else there whatsoever.
So they opted against
giving him a six-month
license suspension and
instead he gets a 56-day suspension
and that's that and a
$660 fine.
So, big deal.
He's got some driving problems.
September 10, 2016, he fights Drazen Janjanin.
Yeah.
His name is Janjanin.
13-7 coming in.
He KOs Janjanin with a body blow in the second round.
Oh, God.
The guy got up, but the ref waved it off. Can you imagine how hard you have to be hitting the body
to fucking be KO'd?
That's what I mean.
You've got to really get leveled, break your ribs.
My stomach hurt.
So September 2016 is court for his Bentley problem.
He blames it on a paperwork mix-up.
He said, this is ridiculous.
He said that he blamed the insurance broker.
He said he failed to arrange the coverage.
That's the problem.
And I do have a driver's license.
It's just not a British one.
It's a Zimbabwean license.
You've lived here for 20 years.
Get a fucking British license.
You moved here before you drove.
Right.
You know?
Why do you have a Zimbabwean?
I don't know so he's finally uh uh
this conviction of all this ends up being overturned because the court says that he
believed his broker had arranged for paperwork so they let him off on it they it's a whole big deal
where he says uh he had his brother-in-law on the policy at the time as well. He said, because he drives the
car too. And he said, I remember paying for two drivers, him and myself. And he said, as an
athlete, he helps me with the admin and anything. And he was there with me to help me buy the car.
He said, I get Jay to deal with my admin and he dealt with the insurance. I pay him as an employee,
but I don't see it like that. And said um he believed that he had insurance because the money went out of his bank account
he said when i paid for two drivers the money went out and i figured it was insured i thought
it was fine and um yeah he said i was very upset because i didn't have my car for six months and i
had to pay the full amount for my car i had to pay 120 000 pounds so he had to he had to pay for his car that's fine
he uh he said that he found reading documents very hard due to being educated in zimbabwe
and you know punching his headmaster and shit like that and not doing well academically
he said that he got uh he gets his lawyers to deal with contracts and he gets jay and others
that he trusts to do his other paperwork that's not a good thing either by the way no dexter manley here
we need to fucking right if someone's making this big money and shit they need to know how to read
their own fucking documents so people don't fuck them over exactly like that's and not even just
not even just uh because you can read it, because there are plenty of people that can read that also get taken advantage of, Dane Cook.
Tons of people have lost millions because they just trust dummies and family.
Give family the opportunity to take care of your shit.
See how far that gets you.
And that's the thing, too.
Chisora, he can't read, but he's far from fucking stupid.
That's the thing.
I've seen interviews with him and shit.
He is not a dumb guy at all.
He just, you know, wasn't educated very well, which is fine.
I can relate to that.
But he's not very stupid, you know, at all.
So, yeah, he anyway, they said that they were in court.
They said they were, quote, impressed by his calmness, his demeanor and his truthfulness and that there are special reasons to appeal this case.
So they were like, we're really happy he didn't threaten to kill anybody inside the courtroom.
He was very literally.
How often have you heard that they were impressed by someone's calmness and demeanor in court?
That's just a given.
You're supposed to be calm and have good demeanor in court or else they hold you in contempt
and send you to fucking jail.
Fucking ridiculous. else they hold you in contempt and send you to fucking jail fucking ridiculous so um they said
uh uh from all that we don't feel it would be appropriate to a proportionate for any points
to be awarded so basically you can keep your license then he has a problem with his fiance
and his dog oh boy okay his fiance is involved with a fight with her neighbors after her pet dog was mauled to death by Alsatians belonging to a neighbor.
What are those?
Now, I looked.
I said Alsatians.
I hope that's a dog.
So I looked it up.
A lizard.
There's two different types of two different definitions for Alsatian, a native or inhabitant of Alsace.
I'm like, did people tear apart her dogs?
Oh, my God.
Did they have Alsatians?
That's fucked up.
Or at that point, there's a definition, too, is breed of large shepherd dog used in police work.
So I believe that's probably the kind.
Looks like a German shepherd from what I saw looking it up.
They have a Pomeranian, apparently.
Yeah, not a match for it
no his uh his his fiance emily erringer said that her family's small pomeranian chewy
escaped through a hole in the fence but she was i was gonna say that became very ironic that name
very literal name right there uh crawled through a hole in the fence into the grounds of laurence kershnell's
home in hampstead uh by the way his home is a tutor mansion that was used as the home of
cruella deville in the film 101 dalmatians hilarious so that's how british this guy is
it's literally cruella deville's house that's what he lives in fucking cruella deville's house and his dogs eat other dogs this is fucked up man this is so goddamn weird a house that a lady lived in a movie about dogs
their dogs ate your dog their dogs ate your dog dude is this crazy this is amazing wow so uh and
it's funny because you're in the villain's house, too, which is just perfect. Despite Chewie getting a blood transfusion and emergency surgery.
What?
For a seven-pound dog there.
I don't know how you'd even know.
Just tiny little instruments.
That'd be really difficult to do, I would think.
It's tiny.
That's crazy.
The dog ends up dying anyway.
Yeah.
So, she is, they're going gonna get married soon apparently that's how
that's gonna work she she claims that chewie was attacked by the alsatians but the neighbor
here the cruella deville guy he said don't blame my dogs yeah it's not their fault he said the
pomeranian may have died after his pets rolled on uh after his pets rolled on it as they played
he said quote i have cc footage footage, CCTV, closed circuit TV footage,
which shows clearly that Chewy ran into my garden
and that the dogs were all playing together.
You cannot see any biting, just dogs playing.
The puncture wound could have come from the fence or the brambles.
So he's saying, didn't happen on my dogs.
The dog's got a puncture wound.
Might have fucking
stabbed himself on something else my dogs and him were getting along now you're stretching sir come
on chief come on man you could kill a pomeranian by accident if you're a big dog like that just
playing you said cctv and in my head i i knew that it was closed circuit but my head also said
closed captions closed captionosed captioning TV.
I read all about it.
I watched a dog fight and it said right underneath,
dogs fight with little dog.
No, the closed captioning told me dogs playing.
It didn't say it said no fighting.
It just said dogs playing.
See, it's right there.
He's going to fight a guy named Dillian, Dillian White.
W-H-Y-T-E, Dillian White.
During the press conference beforehand, Chisora throws a table at him and his entourage and his managers and shit.
During the press conference, he literally picks up a table and throws it at him.
So, yeah, it's pretty funny.
I have a picture of it I'll post on social media there.
So White told Chisora after that
quote if i see you anywhere i'm going to attack you even after the fight okay chisora said that
he reacted to that feeling that he was a threat against his life he said quote why should this
guy threaten my life right now he said fight talk is fight talk you can say anything you want about
me but one thing you cannot do is threaten a man's life that is all he does is threaten people's life repeatedly over and over he said
saying you will see me after the fight then i get upset i don't mind the trash talk so that you
constantly tell people you're gonna kill them threaten to kill two men after they parked weird
that's what i mean and you threaten to kill david hay and shoot him and that was at a press
conference that man so december 10 2016 dillian or dylan probably but dillian it's spelled
the body snatcher white who isn't white by the way no i figured i thought it was like a dutch guy
i just pictured like a blonde dutch guy and then i looked him up i was like oh wow that's just not
what i thought i see a white rapper that's so like Jamie Kennedy in Malibu's Most Wanted.
A little white.
Yeah, a little white with a W.
Without Y, I mean.
19-1 coming in, though.
28-2 right now.
Fight goes all 12.
Chisora loses by decision.
So 26-7.
June 2017, there's a fight outside of a nightclub,
and he tells everyone that he's not involved in it
basically um there's this big all these articles say chisora pinned down by so by bouncers at a
fight when apparently and from the video it was actually true there was a fight involving other
people that he kind of somehow got in the middle of and was trying to break up actually and somehow he got in the middle and he tripped over and fell over and people fell on top of him
and there was a giant melee so it was one of those deals but he ends up being charged in it because
of his history they figured he must have threatened to kill somebody yeah and he was in the middle of
a physical altercation right also he was there which is crazy. And nobody else there's a professional fighter.
So that's the other thing.
So he says.
He's 35 in a fucking nightclub.
Anything that happens, 10 on you, mister.
Yeah, you know better at this point in your older age.
Right.
So he said the fight had started when we got there and then I went to break it up.
We were going to go to the club where our friends were waiting for us but didn't because everything was going on outside i slipped over
i wasn't being pinned down and the bouncers didn't treat me badly at all so he's like it's all good
yeah two months later he is uh they dropped the assault charges on him and uh they say with all
of the you know video footage they decided decided that they would withdraw the charge.
He didn't hit anybody, and he actually was trying to break the fight up, which seems completely out of character for him.
It does, yeah.
Seems like he's the type of guy that would see a fight going on and be like, fucking awesome, and just jump in and start hitting everybody.
I'll smash your face.
I'll fucking kill you.
Where are you parked, motherfucker?
Just start drilling people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where are you parked motherfucker to start drilling people yeah yeah where are you parked
asshole so he fights uh september 30 2017 robert uh filipovich who is four and two coming in
and his whole career he's only four and four so oh no didn't go well tko is this guy in the fifth
round 27 and seven for our uh chisora here. November 2017 in Monte Carlo.
Look at him.
He's James Bond or something.
He fights Ajit Kabayal, who was 16-0 coming in.
And right now, currently, he's 20-0.
So this fight goes all 12.
And Chisora loses by decision, 27-8.
Chisora, after the fight, though, says, quote,
I'm not going to complain.
I lost the fight.
I always bounce back, so I'm not worried.
Okay.
Hey, some people take losses bad, and they don't respond well.
And some people shrug them off, and they go, you know, fights.
I've seen interviews with him where he goes, yeah, you lose fights.
I don't know.
Sometimes you lose them.
It can't affect you mentally.
You just got to be like, yeah, you go out there and win't know. Sometimes you lose them. It can't affect you mentally. You just got to be like, yeah, you go out
there and when you might lose.
A lot of people can't do that.
March 24, 2018,
he fights Zachariah
Azuzzi
here and it's a TKO win
in the second round so he needed to get
his thunder back. 28-8
for him. He's also in a movie
called Pitbull that year i don't know he
plays boxer number two uh-huh it's some it's like some like uh i don't know some eastern europeanish
movie it was a lot about uh pitbull being becoming a boxer and being amazing at it it's it's not i
feel like that guy's ego would definitely uh create that movie i'm surprised it doesn't exist oh my
god i am too now i was
just thinking about it where he like rides like a crotch rocket yeah and you know goes and steals
everybody's girl yeah yeah yeah i could see it totally man that's a it's a bad movie i don't
like this jesus july 28 2018 carlosocum, 35-4 coming in.
And Chisora TKO's him in the eighth, 29-8.
October 2018, Chisora's got a new manager.
And it is David Hay.
What?
Yeah.
I was going to murder you, but now train me.
Now I trust you with all facets of my career.
Right. was gonna murder you but now train me now i trust you with all facets of my career right he literally hires david hay as his manager the guy man he threatened to kill yeah um it came as
a shock obviously to everybody people were like what the fuck what are you talking about but uh
apparently they they talked about it and they said that uh you know they talked and sat down
and they came to a deal and decided to let bygones be bygones and he said that he was changing his name from dell boy to war now so
that's that's war okay it's all war from now on um he said that uh his manager here david hay said
i had to think do i want this task no disrespect but derrick is not the easiest to work with no shit um i'm positive he
can get results he hasn't fulfilled his potential yet imagine if he goes into a fight in prime
condition imagine if he stands on the scales and you could see someone that you've never seen before
he needs uh his food cooked to rest during the day to be in a real camp give it nine or ten weeks
and you will see something special uh so chisora said that we had
lunch we spoke he played hard to get he said let me think about it but he was already hooked
he also at this point finds religion oh no we always say that's one of the rules it's like
rule number three don't find don't find religion at this point which religion he does well he says
quote i have changed i was born again
i've been going to church i believe in forgiveness for those who have done wrong to me and this was
one of those first steps he's running christian he's a christian i guess he said that about david
hey we had our issues but we solved them after that there was nothing else we teamed up and it's
gone well i am born again there he is
i spent my whole time in the build-up to this fight going to church and i have done a complete
360 degree turn on my life that's not good nope it's not what you want
it's fine at least he's got degrees in there somewhere
the things i used to do before i don't do anymore i don't drink and i stopped doing a lot of the
things i used to do i think when you find god you change a lot of things in your life so there you
go he fights 2018 in december he fights the dilly uh dilly and white again here and uh you know this
fight goes on pretty good but he it's a ko loss for him in the 11th
it was a war though they went back and forth knocked each other down it was a whole deal
that's his nickname uh 29 and 9 he is now so april 20th 2019 he fights senad gashi his nickname
the gashin gun that is wonderful oh god i like it that is just he could not think of anything else
that's hilarious right they were like i guess i don't know we can't think of have the robe made
fuck it whatever what about kashi like the cereal you're right um let's go with the gashin
gun the gashin gun well he was 17 and 2 coming in so it's not bad man not bad i love it the gashin
gun this fight goes the distance at least july 20th 2019 he fights our
tors uh spilled uh what is it split split uh 22 and 3 coming in he ko's him in the second round
so he's 31 and 9 upcoming fight this is where he's mad at smaller fighters he's not the main
event and he's pissed off about it okay not happy he doesn't like he says playing second fiddle
to this world boxing super series uh final because that's what it is some like lower weight
tournament final and he said quote what's the main event of this fight that's not going to work for
me i'm not going to sell out for them guys to be the main event.
Great point.
I'm not going to sell out the arena.
Great point.
Hey, yeah.
A couple of years ago, they'd still ask us to open for people out here.
And we're like, why the fuck would we sell tickets for somebody else?
Fuck you.
Get that guy to sell his own fucking tickets.
I'm not going to put money in his pocket.
Fuck him.
Is he a bigger draw than the headlining match? Then, yeah. You know, get that guy to sell his own fucking tickets. I'm not going to put money in his pocket. Fuck him.
Is he a bigger draw than the headlining match?
Then, yeah.
People know who he is.
He's got points again.
Yeah.
He says, quote, these guys wouldn't sell box office by themselves, so fuck that.
So either give me the main event or pull me out of the fucking show.
I'm cool with that.
I get it.
This is show business. This is a totally different thing.
This isn't, we're talking, this is marketing.
They're going to market you.
People are going to pay to see you,
and then that money's going to go to other people.
Fuck that shit.
No, you make your own money, and you have to.
Otherwise, you're never going to make any money in this business.
People will walk all over you in any entertainment business.
So this was a unification for 140 pounds that's what it was so he said this
is bullshit he says fucking muhammad ali trophy nobody gives a fuck about it no more no one gives
a fuck about little guys anymore boxing right now is thriving on heavyweights and then the two
fighters who are actually going to fight in that fight he's talking about. They were sitting there as well. And one of them said, quote, we're number one and number two.
And he said, and then his manager chimed in and said, you know what he's doing, don't you?
He's selling pay-per-views.
That's what he does.
Fucking relax.
He's selling this shit.
So he fights David Price that night, who's 25 and 6.
This is for the WBO international title.
And he TKO's him in four rounds.
So 32 and nine for him.
November 2019, he gets into politics
where he campaigns with Nigel Farage
in a pro-Brexit platform.
He's for it, huh?
Oh yeah, he's a big, he's a weird,
he's got some weird conservative views. It's like weird for him because he's a big he's a he's a weird he's got some weird conservative
views it's just like weird for him because he says some it's a strange thing i don't know i
don't know much about it because it's fucking confusing but it sounds like it didn't work out
so great we don't know we're here that's the thing we're not gonna no clue no we're gonna get
no matter what we say we're gonna get it from both ways so you know what maybe it's great maybe it's
not we don't fucking know don't tweet us because we don't fucking live there or care enjoy so there
you go so uh yeah he uh he said he was quote ready to go to war with faraj not go to war against him
but on his side march 2020 he's got some hard COVID opinions as well. Oh, no.
Oh, boy.
He's going all controversial all the time, huh?
Yeah, he needs whatever the controversial thing is.
He'll say it because he's just trying to drum up business.
Basically, it's, you know, people want it's like wrestling.
He'll be the bad guy.
Pay to watch me get my ass kicked.
Great.
Either way, you're paying and I make money. That's what he said, James.
He said, quote, It's genocide.
You put something out there
that can kill everyone
and half this population
so we can rebuild.
People complain about climate change.
I think the most destroyers
in the world are human beings
and maybe we can clear
some of these human beings around.
It's okay.
I think it's been put out.
Come on, man.
It's been put out.
So he said,
not only was it put out,
but it was put out
and it's a good thing because
hopefully it'll wipe out a shitload of the population
and we can start over again.
Listen, that was my stance
when we talked about
a flu. She said it's eugenics.
Yeah, as a joke.
As a joke. My idea was, yeah,
get rid of some people. I hate waiting in line
for shit. It was a joke.
Seeing 500,000 people die and friends of mine, not good. in line for shit it was a joke seeing 500 000 people die
and friends of mine he's not good he's for real though he's like let's white people out like
it's easier so i mean whatever june 2020 he announces that he wants to do mma as every
nutcase in every sport at some point when they've got enough brain damage they're like you know what i want to do mma what do you say yeah so he said he wants to do it and he wants to fight in bellator
mma but uh you know it hasn't happened yet and there was like no nobody cared there was no like
there wasn't like a big uproar everyone was like whatever yeah no one cares so uh he's got a fight
coming up leading up to the fight david hay has put him on a totally different regimen for his
training he's been placed on a six-week sex ban um to help give him an edge he said no sex for
six weeks he said that and then chizor is a big underdog against this guy, too, is a Ukrainian guy here.
What the hell is his name?
Oleksandr Usyk.
He said that Hayes has been trying everything to give him a chance.
He said that he's going to have him pacing around his room like a caged animal in the COVID secure bubble.
He said about 12 weeks ago, I said to him, if you want to win this fight, you need to
do something you've never done before.
You need to eat the right food.
You need to get X amount hours of sleep.
You need to do all these training sessions.
You need to have one day off a week.
When it gets to six weeks, you're not going to be allowed to basically, he's not going
to be allowed to come six weeks before the fight.
He said no ejaculation six weeks before the fight.
Not even tugging.
Not even tugging.
Wow.
He said that Chisora said, quote, I don't know about that.
I told him, I need you in the ring knowing you've done stuff that you've never done before,
that you've sacrificed.
Before the fight, you need to be fully loaded in every department.
The engine tank, your nutsack, everything need to be fully loaded in every department.
The engine tank, your nutsack, everything needs to be full and ready to go.
How is jizz going to help you?
What are you going to do?
If he can't beat you, you jizz.
If you can't beat him, you jizz on him.
Is that the fucking strategy here? Maybe.
From across the ring because it's built up for six weeks?
Yeah, because he's got all that in there.
He's going to have more testosterone and he can fight more. He he is gonna be doing some things he hasn't ever done before like uh jerk off in the shower
because you won't be in there to stop him no shit he said quote i said when is a lion most dangerous
when it hasn't mated and it's hungry and when i see him pacing up and down i don't know if he's
thinking about fighting or fucking or what i think i figured it out that's his that's if he's thinking about fighting or fucking or what. I think I figured it out. That's why he's walking up and down.
So he's like, either way, he's all jacked up.
Chisora said, celibate is all right.
I feel sorry for the priests.
That's why I take ice baths.
So, yeah, he said a seven-year-old has been watching a Sky documentary.
Sky's a channel there on his boxing career.
She's watched it 20 times since I left the house she wakes up and watches it she sees things she's never seen before her eyes are
open she realizes who her dad is she has seen me throw the table and at the before than the press
conference and she is like wow and then her mother is like you've got a big fan at home uh now because
she hasn't stopped watching that.
Her mother tells her, I don't want you to watch this anymore.
And she says back, don't be jealous because you're not on TV.
That's fucking great.
So now I watched this interview from his hotel room right before this fight.
Right.
A couple of days before.
It's an interview for the first 18 minutes. It like really stay i had to watch 18 minutes of boring
i don't know just boxing interview and then the guy just casually says well the fight's coming up
halloween night um you know maybe some strange things will happen it's halloween who knows
yeah all of a sudden out of nowhere his whole demeanor changes, and he starts asking him, how come you're allowed to be here?
How come there's tons of other guys because it's a COVID thing, so it's a limited amount of press.
He goes, how come you're at all these fights and other people aren't?
Why is it always you here?
How did you get here?
He says, do you have a special deal with the promoter?
Out of nowhere.
And the guy says, no, I don't have a special deal with anybody. I got years in the game maybe you know maybe they think i'm good at it i don't know
so they argue about why he's allowed to be there and other people aren't yeah then he asked the
interviewer would you be willing to swap out with others who aren't allowed to cover the fight
there's a fight coming up there are you going to be there and the guy said yeah he goes well why
don't you swap out with another blogger why don't you say hey let somebody else get some clicks and some
views so he goes why do you get everything so the guy says well would you be willing to switch out
with another fighter to let him fight your fight that you're fighting in two days so he can make
the paycheck and you go home and derrick goes of course i would yeah you tell me who it is and i'll
tell you if i would do it or not of course i would yeah you tell me who it is and i'll tell you if i would do it
or not of course i would because that supports the argument that i have right now yeah clearly
obviously you know what i mean so they continue to argue about whether the interviewer would give
an interviewer an interview to some other guy for some reason so derrick then says the interviewer
selfish for hogging all the interviews oh, which is a strange thing to say.
Why do you care about this, Derek?
Why is this so weird?
It's so weird to die on because it wasn't a contentious thing.
It wasn't like they argued about boxing and then he was like, all right, let's just drop it.
And then he moved on to this.
It was just they were fine.
Everything was cool.
And then it just came out of nowhere.
It was so strange.
So he's telling him about uh he
won't talk about the fight the guy just keeps trying to be like well you know let's talk about
you know your opponent here in the second round are you going to try and he's like no no no this
is ridiculous you're very selfish because this is fucking bullshit he goes he keeps saying share the
pie man share the pie what the fuck man why don't you share the pie he says why are you covering all
the fights then he starts out
of nowhere Derek starts calling him a fucking asshole he's like you fucking asshole man you're
fucking asshole fucking in here taking all the interviews you're a selfish fucking asshole why
don't you share the fucking pie and the guy's like what are you talking about the guy's literally
going what are you talking about like I'm just trying to work so mad yeah I don't have like
millions of dollars from all my fights i'm a boxing blogger do
you know a few you know little money i make that's what i would have said i'm trying to pay rent
motherfucker so he continues to call this guy a fucking asshole and he says the guy won't make it
another five years in the business after this interview and all this shit he's talking all
this shit to the guy so then he says man just get the fuck out of my room now just get the fuck out so the guy goes you want me to get out and he's like yeah and he's like well this shit to the guy. So then he says, man, just get the fuck out of my room now. Just get the fuck out.
So the guy goes, you want me to get out?
And he's like, yeah.
And he's like, well, I wish you the best of luck in your fight tomorrow as he's cleaning his shit up.
And he goes, I wish you the best of luck in your fight tomorrow.
And Derek goes, kiss my black ass, man.
Get the fuck out of my room.
It's the greatest fucking comeback, too.
I wish you the best of luck.
Kiss my black ass get the
fuck out of my room i actually clapped when he said it i was like yes scared this guy so then
the guy goes you want me to leave it's like yes stupid he wants you to leave he's asked you to
leave three times and he told you kiss my black ass get the fuck out of my room clearly he wants
you to leave so the guy goes and then he says turn that shit off and get the fuck out of my room. Clearly he wants you to leave. So the guy goes, and then he says, turn that shit off and get the fuck out.
So then that's it.
The camera goes off.
So it's pretty fucking entertaining there, the last five minutes of it.
So Halloween night, 2020, he fights this Alexander Usyk, who's 17 and 0 coming in.
And the fight goes the distance.
He hangs in there, but it's a unanimous decision loss.
32 and 10.
That is the last fight he
fought. During this,
he says that he
after this fight,
he lost the fight, and he says that
he reached out to another fighter who was
complaining about a loss that he had.
That this other fighter had. A guy named
Deontay Wilder,
I guess he claimed
that Tyson Fury had loaded his gloves with an egg weight
before their match before the wilder and fury's last fight really yeah he claims that uh so they
he keeps doing that so chizora said he tried to send him a text with words of encouragement
he said i sent him a message to be honest with you i was like listen bro just dust
yourself off man just get back in the ring this whole thing of uh next minute you're taking back
your oh this whole thing of next minute you're talking about black empowerment this and this
this is the fight game you lost the fight you know what to do brush yourself bounce back take
your rematch and he says but he's coming up with excuses.
He said that Fury has this in his glove, that he had that in his glove.
His water was spiked.
Was the water spiked?
How does he know the water was spiked?
Do you know what?
Who knows?
He said, this is why I carry my own water.
I don't trust no one. I'm telling you, I bring my own water from my house and I bring the bottles and I wash them four times and I keep it in my room and that's it.
Wow.
But he's just coming up with excuses, man.
Bro, just take the fight.
Bro, just take the fight.
You got beat.
Everybody loses a fight.
Just come back.
He keeps crying about this nonsense and I don't know why.
Because it sucks to lose.
It does suck to lose.
I will give this guy Chisora a thing.
When he loses, he's like, well, I lost.
Fuck it. But, yeah give this guy Chisora a thing. When he loses, he's like, well, I lost. Fuck it.
But yeah, this guy's complaining.
And so can't get enough of Derek Chisora?
Yeah.
Well, you can see him fight on May 1st.
Coming up, he's fighting Joseph Parker, who's 28 and 2.
Oh.
And Chisora says, quote, I'm ready to rock and roll.
Let's get the lawyers in.
I'm ready for the 1st of May.
I'm ready for a great fight with you, and I'm ready for you to entertain us.
Let's make it happen.
He's ready to go.
He's ready to get the lawyers in.
It's like a precursor to the follow-up of this episode.
No, shit.
Let's get the lawyers in.
And also, if watching him isn't enough, you can rent him.
Book Derek Chisora at mn2s.com.
It says, quote, should you need someone to offer an insight into the high-pressure world of professional sport,
answer your behind-the-scenes questions about boxing, or generally add an air of sporting celebrity to your event,
or if somebody throw a table at you or threaten to kill your guests is left out,
Derek Chisora should be your first port of call.
We have a team of dedicated agents waiting to help guide you through the process,
so call one of them up right now.
And his agent's name is Sharon Akalbis, and her number is 305-667-3594
in case you'd like to book him.
Or you can just fill out the online form
and get derek over to throw a table at one of your close friends they don't give any price
no price on there i tried to find the price but you had to like send the inquiry first yeah mn2s
mn2s.com that's real close to like mn2us like renting men website that's yeah that's
men to us frightening if it was men to you it
would be like oh boy don't misspell that they're renting people and that's not good so i'm on men
to us.com and i can't find him super what the fuck man where's he at but there is a sweet little otter two blocks away oh man sweet power too this is great power otter so
that's derek chisora he swings both ways let it be known everybody that is derek chisora
brain damaged sports never disappoint for crazy people yeah and this week is no different i'll
tell you what and if you liked, you know what you can do.
Get on Apple Podcasts.
Give us five stars.
It helps immensely.
We don't know why.
Drives you up the charts.
It really does help.
Or, you know, you can do things like head over to ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com where you can get everything crime and sports and small town murder,
including tickets to the May 6th live show, live show come in there anybody in the world can
purchase these you can see the show and it'll be available for three days after that it's a
thursday night may the 6th we're going to do somebody pretty famous i haven't announced who
it is yet but we'll figure it out and we will announce who it is first but no matter who it is
live crime and sports is insane. All the pictures.
It's just it's a lot of jokes and a lot of fun.
Boy, I can't wait.
Telling you.
And don't make us look like assholes, please.
We begged for it.
They wanted us to do small town murder again. And we said, no, we owe the crime and sports people to do a show.
They've asked us to do it over and over again.
So please, please don't be like, nah, never mind.
Buy the goddamn tickets.
Don't make dicks out of us.
Yes.
We tried our best
to give you what you wanted so hopefully you want it and uh by giving you what you want you have to
pay money and we realize that so it's not giving you really but you can buy what you want anyway
before i wasn't even available so thank you so much do that shut up and give me murder.com
also you can follow us on social media and you can find out things, find out all about things like live shows and stuff.
We are at crime and sports on Twitter and Facebook at small town murder on
Instagram.
So you can do all of that.
Also,
you want to follow us on Patreon.
That's big.
You want to be a Patreon subscriber because you get the bonus stuff and that
stuff is golden.
Right.
This,
some of these episodes,
I mean,
it's, it's it's
they're so good like marv albert this week the past week the ones we just put up that you'll
have access to along with all the other stuff we did marv albert and his rock hard cock and toupee
oh yeah combination along with white panties and garter belts and hotel concierges and all
sorts of weird shit he was a lazy man of finding a sex accomplice for the evening.
Oh, accomplice, victim for Christ's sake.
He's just at one point prying someone's mouth open and trying to put his dick in it.
He's a bad man at the time.
So Marv Albert there is one.
And then we did another bad man, a much worse man, actually.
Richard Ramirez, the Night Stalker.
And we talked about the documentary on Netflix this week, and it is wild stuff.
So those are two really good episodes.
Find out what Richard Ramirez's name should have been, his nickname.
There's the BTK killer.
Find out what letters he would have filled in because we have a new name for him.
And you can only find out on Patreon, patreon.com slash crime and sports.
Find out the name Richard Ramirez earned there.
And also you'll get a shout out from Jimmy, which we'll do out the name Richard Ramirez earned there.
And also you'll get a shout out from Jimmy,
which we'll do at the end here in a few minutes.
And you will be a producer. Jimmy will mispronounce your name horribly, but it'll be fun
for some reason because he's trying very hard.
So that makes it that makes it OK
in my book. So check that
out. Yeah. You know, check
that out. Do that. Keep
following us and doing that stuff if you want to
be another you want to just be a good person and also be a producer and have your name mispronounced
you can do that as well over at paypal using our email address crime in sports at gmail.com
do all that stuff and you know what else you can do i think jimmy this is something for you can do
please please give me the names of the people
yeah who i love more than anything or else i'm going to have to smash your face in and or kill
you jimmy do it right now thank you this week's executive producers are kevin spilker jordan
bennett lauren adam chiyuchi i think nice and their late pup scrappy they lost their pup james
it's brutal puppy that might have been an italian, and he did okay with it. Good job.
The rest of them are Andrea Stanson.
Happy birthday, Raptor 1 from Raptor 2.
That, I imagine, is an inside joke.
Chrissy Ann Castaldi, of course.
Hey, you like her?
Thank you, Chrissy.
She's wonderful.
Melissa Glidewell, Keegan King, Thomas Kennedy, Jennifer Statton, the real Jason Roberts.
He donated both ways.
Why, thank you. That guy's amazing.
Thank you so much.
Evita Kaxandra.
I don't know.
Also, Chris Kaiser, Andrew Hartel, Annette Zaruki, and Jordan Lanfair.
Thank you guys so much for everything you do.
It's truly fucking amazing.
You guys are the best.
Other producers this week are mitzi g
and uh she said to tell tina lisicki that happy birth she had a birthday tina did happy birthday
tina happy birthday to you i missed it a couple weeks ago i think and so she reminded me so it's
late uh it's early no jimmy it's just very very early next year it's a very early one you're ahead
of the game car Carl Kirshner.
Yeah, Kirshner.
Again, with the umlauts.
I'm telling you.
Corporal umlaut.
Carl umlauts Kirshner.
Corporal Carl umlauts.
James Marder.
Bailey Elizabeth Holland.
Happy birthday.
Peyton Meadows.
Christina Bateman.
Shauna Moose.
Maria Kip Soosley.
Happy birthday.
Jennifer Provan.
Motofab and his male calico cat paul
it's not it it's a female he says that she identifies as paul now so there's that cats
good for that cat it's fine yeah robin swanson cat amber gwynn the and the memory of rick call
i don't know the story. Sorry, Rick.
Don't need it.
I'm missing Rick.
Janice Hill also.
Thomas DeMello.
Kyle Marsaglia.
Marsaglia.
Sure.
Good.
It's a type of chicken, right? Yeah, it's in the chicken section.
It's right under Piccata.
Chris Harrison, Jeff Watson.
And Jeff Watson's keeping Chris on the right path.
Jeff apparently is a really great dude, and they gave their last names, and that's against the whole thing, isn't it?
Against the whole anonymous part.
I mean, I guess you can if you want to.
There's no rules.
Keep Chris going, Jeff.
You're an amazing man.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
Other producers also are Retro Soul Sparkles, Matt Kerr, Susanna Platt, Gary Friedman, Charles Nelson Riley.
I doubt it.
The guy was amazing.
And that gives –
Throwing confetti all over the place.
Smoking a cigarette all the time.
Came in giving us money, throwing confetti everywhere.
That would be terrific.
That's showing Gary Friedman's age, I think.
He's called out Animal House and Charles Nelson Riley.
I got a feeling Gary Friedman is about
a 50-something-year-old dude. I was going to say.
Born in about 61.
Yeah, who loves dick jokes.
I like him a lot.
And Ogie Oglethorpe. I don't remember
what movie that's from, but I know
that's somebody I should know who he is. Probably.
Probably a character from Stripes or something.
You don't know. Right.
Danny McMillan, Sheena Ramsey, David Beers, Adam Udaini, Adriana Justice, David Meadows,
Knuckle Supper Studio Comic Books.
Knuckle Supper.
Cool.
Not a sandwich.
Whole goddamn supper.
That's a lot.
Jude Kendall, Robin Heyer, Paul Gruber, Joanna Kagan.
Or is it Kagan?
It's Kagan.
Yes. Higher, Paul Gruber, Joanna Kagan. Or is it Kagan? It's Kagan, yes.
John Miller, Philip Munn-Jeweler, Christopher Earnshaw, Casey Handel, Julia Ciantar.
Ciantar?
Cientar.
Ashley Veo, George the Bald Cat.
He's also the benchmark for Butthole Pink, in case you didn't know that.
Oh, okay.
I learned that this week.
Apparently.
Thank you.
Sarah Pixie DeLeon, Jesse Pitts, Rachel Hawken, Randy Slaughter, Tara Grimshaw,
Mary Marler, Olivia Hudson,
Victoria Placopedis.
Yeah.
Gotta slow it down, man. For real.
Kevin Pallotta, Jake with no last
name, Aaron Salisbury, a girl named
Jeremy. That's a
good song about you.
Sure it is.
Scott with one T.
Heather Walter.
Patty McCabe.
Rick Smithson.
Elizabeth Fegus.
Fegus.
Melody Hart.
Derek Phillips.
Jake Benzo.
Kendis with no last name.
Sam Rizzo.
Sam Smithers.
Allie Roberge.
Roberge.
Roberge.
Roberge.
Corey Kitzmiller.
Jason Masula.
Misty Martin.
Carlin Blaylock.
Amy Ford.
Damian Maldonado, Matthew Haggerty,
Michael Watts, Carrie Litka, Ora J. Matthews IV, Caitlin with no last name, Chris Nunyabiz,
because he doesn't want us to know his last name.
That's why.
That's cool.
Well, thank you for your money.
We appreciate you. We'll run with it.
Thanks, Chris.
You can stay as long as you want.
Stephanie Tomey.
Or Tome?
Tome?
Tome.
Tome.
No.
No.
Serena Schlopitz.
Rachel Stanfield.
Matt A.
Maddie Halsworth.
Bryce Erdwin.
Erdween.
Erdwine.
I don't know.
Carrie Kolarik.
Monteleone.
Montalee.
Mmm.
Why?
Why don't we even try?
Montaleo.
Michelle Remy.
Rhyme.
Jared Rapita.
Vicki Stern.
Victoria Luca. Rob Humphrey. Clara Dutton, Tyler Griffin, Tiffany Guillen, Natalie Ellis, Melanie Aguilar, Rob H., Bjorn Tengi, Danny Dennis, Matt with no last name, Luis Fetzner, Jesus, Charlie Crowe, oh boy, Colbert Chizik. God damn it. Karen Hansen.
Tiffany Reyna.
Megan Moorhead.
David DeSmith.
Jimmy with no last name.
Emily with no last name.
Irene.
Arianne.
Macaulay.
She knows who she is.
Annie Hurt.
Phyllis Barnwell.
Laura Kirk.
Jessica Martin.
Jacob Williams.
Misty Hood.
Tucker Pendleton.
Jessica Barker.
Brendan with no last name.
Patricia Temple,
Lauren Bracken, Frank Southwell, Attorney Whisperer, Michelle Haunt-Honeman, fuck, Stephanie Lennon,
Christine Parsons, Mauricio Marico, Sims, Julie Kerrigan, Aiden Baker, Jennifer Manjerski.
Wow, Aiden's been around around long enough there's a fucking
18 or older one that's unbelievable wow i didn't know that name was that old really now it returned
again did it's one of those yeah yeah all of a sudden like yeah i thought it was like 12 years
old yeah yeah and the white people started naming their kids aiden yeah out of nowhere right yeah
pontonus frederickson, Jennifer Manjerski,
Brandon Black, Liv Brown, Madalena,
Mimi Medlin, Laura Epley, Sarah Babcock,
Lori Hill, Rat Fink, Jackie Arceo,
Jenna States, Dylan Marong, Nicole,
oh boy, oh boy, Anna Clarico,
Gina Clarico?
Sorry, Nicole.
It's too Italian.
Tiffany Chai?
I think that's Italian.
I don't know.
I'm dumb anyway.
Abby Magula.
Lauren with no last name.
Nicole with no last name.
Jeff Donkey Holden.
Trey Dodson.
Andy Hazard Sweet.
Lady Wildflower.
Andrew Skrzczynski.
Carrie with no last name.
Karen Schroeder or Schrader.
Who knows?
I don't know.
I don't know how that works.
Yeah.
Either way.
Sarah Hoffman. What did you say? You pick. Schrader, Schroeder. It knows? I don't know. I don't know how that works. Yeah. Either way. Sarah Hoffman, what'd you say?
You pick. Schroeder, Schroeder. It's not up to us.
Sarah Hoffman, Paige
Loveless, April Strickland,
Kim Brody, Tom Kern,
Abby Serber, Cherie
Sherry, Lynn Chavez-Matthews,
Ashley Precourt,
The Grandmaster Flex,
Brittany Feldhake,
Fuck.
Jennifer Addison, Ashley Floyd, Paige Nuncio, Samantha Anderson, Elle Ryan, Claire McLaren, Ariel Thompson, Brandon VanMindi, Dalton Brown, Stephen Franzen, Candace Martin, Christine Palmer, Margie Wright, Lee Collins, Stacey Long, Hannah Jones, Coda Harrington, Allie Crotis,
Navarra Good, Dominic the Christmas Donkey. Yes.
There you go.
Dylan Berry, Camden Vroderick,
Kendall with no last name,
Amanda Prendergast,
Prendergast, Anthony
Gagliardi, Dave Beers,
Peyton Hurst, Daniel Plummer,
Corrupted Pineapple,
Bettany Evans, Cat Grace, Michael Schultz, Kelly O'Malley, David Stolz,
Sybil Corbin, Kerry Gusso, Todd Rexro, Stephanie Schubert, Alexandria Rasmussen.
Troubles.
Yeah, they're on the horizon.
Legacy Game Mastering, Nick Bumgardner, Chris Johnson, Shantana Boards, Donna Magoo, JC Dages, Elizabeth Deschanel, Jacob with no last name, Jay Gandy, Esther Hedberg, Sergio Perez, David Johns, Justin Klein, Christy Shove-In, Shove-In, boy, oh, boy, Sheetum Ashbrook, Angela Rogers,
Stephanie Woods, Asmuz Amuz21, Olivia with no last name, Laura Eichels, Denise Enstrom,
Kristen, nope, yes, Kristen Brown, Zachary Gallantine, Gallantin, Glenton.
Gashine Gun.
Yeah.
Rissy Watson, Allison Vitrioso, Hadley Sheffield bnbn uh zoe ryan sarah would
know last name you know yuliana what yuliana yuliana bojanafa nice there you go that's not
right ryan spooden trisha meyer thomas moorfield firing blank man uh marid, Vade, what is this? Michelle Sanchez, Ryan James, Matt G., Marion Partridge, Kenya, Raphael, Tim Azevedo, Laura Nguyen, Jared Kinsey, Ron Hayes, Peter Godreau, Jeffrey Timpson, FupaJu666.
Wow.
Wow.
Mike Rosser.
What is that?
This is okay, then.
Whoa.
Richard Mozingo.
Ruby Dayen.
Laura Hankies.
Hanks.
Chandley Garber.
Kristen Beffering.
Nicole Alpeter.
Brandi Hausenbuehler.
Hope Now.
Aaron with no last name.
Hannah Moran.
Brady Marcus.
Jonah Morgan, Christy
Brayton, Mark McKinnon, Jonah Fifiliov, Michelle Hawkins.
You're right.
I just gave up.
The tongue fell off your mouth halfway through it.
I started it and my mouth goes, you can't do it.
Why would we try this?
Nope, not finishing.
Jessica Westfall, Mark D, Codyburn uh jackson breck michelle
griffin mole carquise cody dinette uh rayana etchide holly bowman chris pattinson pattison
uh kristin haddow sick to boy oh boy uh what do we what else we got here sick no uh katie sick
oh boy sickig nap with a p a P. I clearly misspelled that.
There is no way.
Sitch-a-gna-na is a word.
I mean, it could be.
We don't know.
It's possible.
They might just want to hear you have a stroke in the middle of it.
Chris Sutley.
Cynthia Boulay.
Logan Boycher.
Bouchette.
Boucher.
Boucher.
Liam Coffey.
Bandit.
The Vicious Chihuahua's mom.
Wait. I think the Vicious Chihuahua's mom.
Wait, I think The Vicious Chihuahua is a mom.
Oh, wow.
I don't know.
Terrence Johnson, Ty Will, Derek Vranazan, Jane Feehan, Ashley Smart, Robert Tozzi II, Slime with no last name, Katie Werner, Ty Dancer, Rachel Fanguy, Caden Livingston, Braga the Brain Heenan, Billy Collaren, Marshall
Geralt, Sarah Young, Sean Fick, and Alyssa Karras, and all of our patrons, obviously.
You guys are terrific.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much, everybody.
Thank you.
Thank you for everything that you do.
Bunch of real life heroes.
Honestly, thank you.
You've changed our lives for the better. And that's not an easy
thing to do. So thank you so much, especially for us, because we were a goddamn disaster.
And you've made us a little less of a disaster. So thank you so much for everything and all of
your support. I'm just in decent shape. Yeah, I'm all right. You know, hanging in there. So
that said, Jimmy, how can people tell you that they're hanging in there? Oh, I appreciate you telling me on Twitter and Instagram.
You'll find me there.
I dare you.
We're out there.
Yeah.
Find us.
Hunt us down, damn it.
We're hiding in plain sight on social media.
You can Google and find me.
And thank you guys for everything.
That said, yes, thank you.
Keep coming back every week.
Check out Crime and Sports.
Check out the virtual live show. Or check out Small Town Murder, I meant to say. back every week. Check out Crime and Sports. Check out the virtual live show.
Check out Small Town Murder, I meant to say.
You just didn't listen to Crime and Sports.
Check out the virtual live show.
Keep coming back, and we'll be here.
You know where we'll be?
We'll be live from the Crime and Sports studios.
We will see you next week.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.