Crime in Sports - #254 - Like A Thief In The Day - The Recurrentness of Bernard "Looney" Toone
Episode Date: April 27, 2021This week, we check out someone who had the world in the palm of his hands, only to spike it to the ground, and stomp on it, with both feet. Out of nowhere, a series of arrests starts, and ne...ver stops. His crimes are almost sad, until he just keeps doing it. Friends, family, and old teammates try to help him, but their efforts fall of deaf ears, as his thirst for getting arrested just can't be quenched! Be the MVP of New York state, win a national championship, and fight your coach in the locker room with Bernard "Looney" Toone!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports. Yay!
Oh, yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay indeed.
My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host.
I'm Jimmy Wissman.
Thank you folks so much for joining us today on another wild, crazy, downhill, and through a loop-de-loop adventure that we call Crime and Sports.
Great.
It's been over five years now doing this show it's bananas and it's you expect at some point where it would be like well i mean all the crazy stuff is over yeah
and it never it never turns out that way we keep we keep finding things that are just insane and
today is going to be one of those episodes of someone you've never heard of probably
unless you're a very specific fan you've never heard of, probably, unless you're a very specific fan. You've never heard of this person.
But the story is insane,
and it's one of those stories where you're like,
how is this not a known story?
This should be a cautionary tale for everybody.
Like, when people get drafted into any league,
they should sit them down
and honestly make them listen to this episode
we're about to record,
because I think it could help people a lot,
is all I'm saying.
Sure.
It's one of those things.
But before we get to that, quickly, a few exciting things.'m saying. Sure. It's one of those things.
But before we get to that, quickly, a few exciting things.
Well, first of all, thank you for your reviews this week.
Apple Podcasts, please do that.
Five stars.
It helps us a lot.
That purple icon.
That aside, go to shutupandgivememurder.com.
What's there?
Right now. Oh, by the way, tickets to the virtual live show.
Yes.
Coming up on May the 6th, and it'll be available for 72 hours after that as well,
so you can see it over the weekend if you want or however you want to watch it.
It's like 12 days away.
It's amazing.
It's so close, and we have done the set is really cool.
It's going to look awesome, and we throw down for Crime and Sports Live,
and we will announce right now the subject of the Crime and Sports Live show, and hopefully that will make you very, very interested.
Who is it?
Are you ready?
Jimmy actually doesn't know this yet.
I'm so excited.
It's Suge Knight.
Oh!
Suge Knight, the founder of Death Row Records.
Ah!
And, I mean, a criminal on every level, honestly.
He pulled one of the all-time great PR jobs to be like, no, he's an inspirational businessman.
It's like he is killing people now.
Like, as you're doing the story on him being an inspirational businessman, there's people, like, hanging off a balcony by their ankles at his behest.
This is not good. good the organization uh laid the groundwork for for criminality uh long before his time but he
sure cured that concrete foundation oh it was it's way do you hear the story i can't wait and
he did he played for unlv for four years football and then he played for the los angeles rams for a
season so i mean he's a legit athlete but at the same time we needed somebody that transcends sports
you know what i mean so someone that other people all around the world might know who he is and go
oh that sounds interesting and it's a lot it's such a crazy tale a bit of biggie and tupac in
this whole thing which i have a shitload of opinions on i can't wait this is gonna be so fun
it's gonna be so much fun so uh shut up and give me murder.com right now for your tickets for that for May the 6th.
We are so excited.
Also, Patreon is cooking right now.
Yeah.
And we have quite the recipe this week as well.
Patreon.com slash crime and sports where you get all your bonus material. bonus episode is going to be on the college admission scandal with that ensnared old Aunt
Becky there from Full House and other people too, Felicity Huffman and a few others there
that were famous and some rich people.
It has to do with sports because they were pretending to be athletes was the whole deal.
But I've seen and read a lot about this.
So we're going to get into the nuts and bolts of exactly how these rich people scammed the whole system to get their undeserving
lazy shit kids into fucking elite colleges over people who deserved it so it's pretty awesome
fun fun fun patreon.com slash crime and sports oh and on the other bonus episode we're going to
talk about uh cult deprogramming how how people deprogram the whole thing of how to get someone who has been essentially brainwashed, for lack of a better term.
Unbrainwashed.
And unbrainwashed, yeah.
So dirty up that brain a little bit with some better ideas.
You got to scour and clean the brain?
How do you do that?
You can't do that with a Mr. Clean Eraser.
I mean, we're going to find out.
Maybe that's the key. Maybe that's the key.
Maybe that's the ticket.
There's a Tide Pods.
We never knew about it.
But Patreon.com slash crime and sports.
And if you do that, not only will you get those bonus episodes and all the other bonus episodes, but you'll also get you're a producer.
So you'll be loved by us.
You'll get our undying affection for sure.
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and probably fail miserably at it so lots of fun and if you just want to be a producer and have
great karma you can do that over at paypal using our email address crime and sports at gmail.com
right that said jimmy i think it's time for a show let's get into this uh we have pitched everything enough and
now it's time to relax and uh get into a crazy life so let's talk about a guy named bernard
toon junior of course obviously um this guy didn't find out he's a junior till about 80
through the research and then i found an old newspaper article and it said his father bernard
senior and i went son of a bitch of course of course of course this all makes sense now
he's a junior seriously uh i can't i can't find out his middle name for the life of me all i can
find is a he's bernard a tune junior can't find the middle name for the life of me, though. He is born July 14th, 1956.
Okay.
So as we were talking about, he's getting older now, which is probably, honestly, it's probably best for him.
The less he thinks he can run away from situations.
I'm going to say the less spry he is, the better for himself and probably society as a whole, I would say.
Yeah, this is a sad tale, man.
Well, not even sad.
It's like, why?
Why?
What did Bernie play?
What are you doing?
This is a basketball player.
Bernie Toon is a basketball player?
Bernard Toon with an E.
T-O-O-N-E.
Not Toon like Al Toon.
Okay. Toon with an E. T-O-O-N-E, not Toon like Altoon. Okay.
Toon Jr.
And he's a basketball player, won a national championship in college.
Really?
On a very famous team and all this type of shit.
And it's very strange when you hear the team, they have this one thing 10 years later, and
they're like, where are they now from this national championship team?
Everybody's like, director of this this foundation coach over here this and that
and his is not that and it's very sad we'll get to it he's born in yonkers new york yeah which is
he's kind of he's still there now so uh that says a lot he's born in yonkers which if you don't know
anything about new york geography it's just just above the city yonkers is which if you don't know anything about New York geography, it's just above the city.
Yonkers is bordering the Bronx.
So it's just above.
DMX is from there.
There.
Yeah.
It's just there.
His father and mother, his father is Bernard Senior and his mother is Hazel with a Z.
And they have, from what I can gather, he at least has a little brother who's about
three years younger than him
who also plays basketball, but I can't find him ever going on to college or anything like that.
Even though when he was in junior high, they were saying, oh, he's going to be a big star.
He's a toon. Are you kidding me?
He's Bernard's brother. He's going to be amazing.
So I found he was a big deal out of junior high
really like he was six foot five in the seventh grade yeah yeah and a talented player like he
was already good at basketball so people yeah he ends up being six foot nine and people like that
are pampered in a different way than they don't the trouble doesn't really exist for them they
have a different everything's at a different scale it's like oh well yeah but you're playing
basketball so that's okay you know we we've talked about it a lot like certain like baseball players
don't usually get it unless there's some kind of freak when they're little because the sizes
they're not like freak of nature and size so people can't just look at them and be
like oh my god they're gonna have something going for him someday you know they're just it doesn't
really happen like that whereas like it's true there's a lot of baseball players you see them
in person you're like you're an athlete you're shocked by it yeah it's shocking that they're
an athlete like their uniforms even make them look a little more you know buff or whatever but
when you see them on the street, you're like, you?
What?
You're like 5'11", maybe a buck 70.
You're an indescript guy.
What the fuck?
Oh, man.
I used to work at a place by the ballpark in Phoenix there.
And one day the Astros came, like the whole entire Astros team came in.
And Craig Biggio, I remember specifically.
I almost said Ken Caminiti.
No, he was a big, thick guy, thick guy actually he's not that big though no Jeff Bagwell looked off Jeff Bagwell
looks like a tiny little guy he's like 5'10 he's like 5'10 he looks kind of thick but unless he was
wearing like a muscle shirt this was like in 1999 so the shirts were pretty baggy so you couldn't
even tell Craig Biggio looked like somebody's like math teacher he'd be like oh mr biggio is going to be a dick if i skip today
this sucks man he had these little glasses on and a polo shirt he just looked like this little tiny
man and i'm like what is going on here this guy's going to be in the hall of fame you're kidding me
these are professionals this is ridiculous mark mcguire looked big even in person though he even so he's a giant yeah he was righted up to the street at that point too you got bold dna
running through your veins yeah he's got all sorts of shit he's like i injected elephant semen into
my body this morning i'm hoping that'll do something they're pretty big so i figured that
might help it doesn't matter i don't even baste it into my asshole i mainlined it no no i just
stick it right in there that's how i do it i put it in like heroin and like ah yeah that's good uh
that's good elephant jizz right there yeah hit me a home run today that's those are so big they
barely go through the syringe hole you know how it is you can feel them swim through huge elephant
sperm they have little swimmies on their arms.
A couple of those already had tusks and trunks.
There was a trunk in there, definitely.
I'm craving peanuts is all I know.
That's it.
I can't stop eating peanuts.
It's the only thing I can get out of this.
Can't stop.
Does elephant semen, are they big or they got to be, right?
I mean, I would assume so it's
going into a giant vagina with a giant portal there it's gotta be like a gelatinous fallopian
tubes giant ovaries i don't know a uterus like like a watermelon just a giant huge uterus it's
gotta almost be like a blood clot that goes through. I would think so. You're like, oh, Jesus Christ.
You feel your blood slow down.
Jesus Christ, slowed down to like an elephant's pace.
It's weird.
Oh, that's gross.
Even the sperm are very, very plodding.
That's the grossest two and a half minutes we've ever recorded.
I don't think, well, we've never talked about specific animal
semen before i don't think in five years i think that's a new one so new low everybody there it is
congratulations to us he hasn't even gotten into junior high yet we're already talking about
elephant semen this isn't good so what i was saying was like any of these guys who we hear
like seven feet tall like at a very young age, people are like, oh, they're very nice to them.
Oh, yeah, he's a good boy, though.
He's playing basketball.
He's OK.
So his friends can get in trouble.
But we'll let him be because that's how it is.
And that's how it is for Bernard the whole time.
And he's not a bad kid, though.
No, but there's still no consequences for his actions, and that's a problem that comes out later on.
But when he's in junior high, he's in Hawthorne Junior High, and this is from the newspaper.
Now, if they're talking about you in terms of your basketball prowess when you're not even in high school, when you're in junior high school.
And you're in the community publication.
That's something there. So there's a coach at a school called Horace Mann, which I guess is another high school. I don't know if it's like one of those like a basketball factory or what, you know, a private school that specializes in basketball players. chet slaybaugh he says apparently bernard came out and told everybody that they gave him a
scholarship to this school oh bernard for high school yeah he came out and told everybody now
i don't know if this was some under the radar shit they were doing and bernard was supposed
to keep it under his hat and he didn't know because he's a kid or what but he apparently
told the media which uh got joel chet slay to say, quote, it seems Toon indicated he has already been awarded a scholarship to our school.
This isn't true. He has applied for a scholarship on the basis of financial need, and we're not sure yet whether or not he qualifies.
We don't give scholarships for sports, only for the financially needy.
So it just happens to be that he's the best junior high player in the city.
It has nothing to do with the fact, you know, that's the only reason it is.
It has nothing to do with that.
It's only the fact that he's also the poorest kid in the city.
Did we mention that?
He's the most financially needy kid in a city of 8 million people.
Just happens to be really good with his ball.
But also, yeah, he says, quote,
if the boy wants to come here, passes our entrance test and qualifies on the basis of financial need, then he would be eligible to come on scholarship.
As it stands, nothing is definite.
He's only recently applied.
So they were probably doing some under the radar shit where, you know, hey, don't worry about it.
You're going to come here, play ball.
Never mind all that entrance exam shit.
But now that he's said it in the media,
now if he gets in, they're going to be like,
well, what score did he get on his entrance exam?
Now you need documentation.
Now it's like, never mind.
Sorry.
So he blew that and never went to that school.
Really?
Yeah, he never ended up going to that school.
Oh, no.
Yeah, they were trying to do some shady shit for him,
and he went out and literally told the media about it he blew the whistle he blew his own
whistle before it even happened so he ends up going to gorton high school like the gorton
fishermen really uh yeah uh which is in yonkers and it's a public school he just goes there free
fish sticks free fish sticks for all every day of the week that's
one one of the advantages of going there sure and uh apparently when he was on his way from junior
high to high school there's a an article about him in the newspaper as well talking about him
and another guy and people that are amazed at the skills he's there from two o'clock to eight o'clock every day at the gym yeah and you know he's dominating the gym they called him at this point a solid six five
that's what they were interested in oh yeah they're saying how good he is he won uh apparently
the junior high team hawthorne won 25 in a row 25 games in a row over his last two seasons he was
there because everybody else is 5'11".
Everybody else is, you know, in eighth grade.
Right.
And he's 6'5", reverse dunking on people.
This isn't fair.
So they said that they're talking about him, the coach of Gorton's coach here,
this is before he goes to high school, says, quote,
the big guy could really help us. And he's talking about another guy there too he said they're both outstanding
prospects they called him in the paper a fluid agile fine jumper and a good shooter and he's
already learned to use his size which most players don't get they're talking about how bulky he is at
this point he's like six five like 210 wow and then he ends up being six nine but he
never gains a pound really he ends up being a thin guy actually yeah just leans out he ends up just
being a real thin guy after a while yeah and like in in college and six nine two ten ain't shit
no it's very thin it's you need a couple of pounds there it's almost unhealthy i guess if you're
gonna sail from the foul line you know when you land you don't want too much pressure on your knees probably so you know that's
there's a reason why shack walks funny now right you know tom sagura too he didn't even get off the
ground that's that's what i mean i bet you he's never dunked on anything but a little tykes hoop
in his entire life and he's never trying ever again now yeah and he broke
his nephew's little type tykes hoop and he was like ah shit i'm fat this sucks man so uh they
talk about tune uh they said that he set the city's all-time single game scoring record for a 13 to 15 year old when he scored 60 points a couple weeks ago
at a game holy shit dude those are like junior high games the both teams together don't score
60 points at the time you know what i mean it'll be like 30 to 27 is the final he scored 60 by
himself and then the next game he had a 44 point game which which is pretty goddamn impressive, I would say. It's a point a minute.
That's incredible.
It's ridiculous, yeah.
So this is when Toon says, quote, I'm thinking of going to Horace Mann.
If I pass the entrance test, I'll probably go there.
I have a scholarship.
That's where he blew the whistle, and everyone was like, whoa, you have a scholarship there?
How'd you get that?
It's not based on athletics.
And then they go to the coach, what's up with that he's like hold on yeah hold on he spoke out of turn here um they said chances are even if he passes the test he'll
wind up at gorton um his brother he has an older brother bernard named jack who apparently played
at gorton as well and then his younger brother chris it was coming up as well and they all ended
up playing basketball but bernard is the best of the group.
He goes to a college powerhouse here.
So they said that Toon is kind of –
they're talking about how his type of talent doesn't come around very often.
And this is in New York City too.
So, I mean, talent comes around quite often in New York City,
as you might have heard.
A lot of ballplayers tend to be from there.
Matter of fact, people go there because of it.
It's a thing, yeah.
They're even importing it.
Yeah, people go there to play good games.
He ends up going to Gorton, like we said here.
He kills it all through high school.
I think they win the conference championship in 73 and 75,
his sophomore and his senior year.
His senior year, he averaged 32 points and 20 rebounds a game.
My God.
That's like you just could win the game on your own, basically.
He doesn't need anybody else to do much, just pass to him.
I'll get the rebound.
I'll kick the pass out. Wait for me to get down there and then give else to do much. Just pass to him. I'll get the rebound. I'll kick the pass out.
Wait for me to get down there and then give it to me again.
When you guys fuck up and can't make it, don't worry.
I'll get the rebound, clean it up, and put it back in.
I'll get that.
So that we can get the points.
Just fire whatever up.
I'm down.
Yeah, I'm down there.
I'm going to be boxing out.
He was also that year the MVP of New York State.
The whole state.
The whole state. The whole state.
He's the best player in the entire state.
That says a lot.
Like I said, this isn't the MVP of North Dakota.
Right.
This isn't the MVP of a bunch of six-foot-two white guys.
This isn't the MVP of the cream of the crop here.
So he's looking at different places.
Marquette, their coach Al McGuire.
You know Al McGuire is the announcer. I don't. He's an announcer forever places. Marquette, their coach, Al McGuire. You know, Al McGuire is the announcer.
I don't.
He's an announcer forever for NBC, I believe.
Okay.
He called him, quote, the number one high school basketball prospect in the country.
So in the country, whole United States, he's the man.
Another guy, Nanuette, who's a high school coach here.
He says that he's so good that in high school quote it's an honor to play
against him it's another coach said that it's an honor for him to beat my team it really is like
it's like wow we're gonna get beat that's the guy to get beat by i guess uh he scored 33 points
against the his team in the in the game before he said that so that's why um and this i have to
show you this is from the paper oh Oh, I can't wait for this.
1975.
Here, if you can move, I'll move the monitor.
You can move your head around here.
This here is.
What is that?
What does that say?
Dynamite!
And he's D-Y-N-O-Mite in capital letters, a la Jimmy Walker from Good Times, which was
out at this time.
So this is just a terrible yeah it says listen to how just i mean i i you hate to throw it on things but this is just
uh this is just fucking like comedic level racism that's just like it's not meant to be like you
know don't give him an opportunity but it's very much like it's like the old I'll put it into entire prospect of this.
It's remember I showed you that Life magazine article with Joe DiMaggio.
Yeah.
And like 1938 where they were talking about he's a great guy.
He doesn't even smell like garlic.
It literally says that his hair isn't oily and he doesn't even smell like garlic.
And you're like, what? What the fuck is that?
Fuck you.
That's kind of what this is.
It's complimentary, but it's like, Jesus, thanks.
And he's dynamite.
He jumps very high.
He goes to the boards with plenty of muscle.
He dribbles like a guard.
He shoots inside and outside.
He intimidates most everyone.
Oh, boy.
This is a dynamite.
Jesus Christ, man. He's dynamite. he intimidates most everyone oh boy this is a dino might jesus christ man he's dino might uh one of the other players from the tournament said quote he's a hell of a player he and the rest of
the team do everything right he crashes the boards well i'll have to learn to do that they are
supposed to feed him to set him up and they know how to do that well so he's he's the whole team basically there is
an article in march of 75 while he's in high school senior year and the newspaper they're
upset about the fact that there's a bunch of people there at the games now just to see him
okay they're like these people are just he's got fans and we're upset? He's a draw. He's a draw.
They're like, I don't like this one bit.
It says, quote, there's nothing attractive about some of the fans' Toon's outstanding ability draws.
Jesus.
What?
What does that mean?
I don't know.
They're ugly?
He brings all the ugly women.
It's not fun.
We don't like being here.
He's bringing some banged up trim, if you know what I mean.
That's what's not that great.
I don't know what the fuck they're talking about here.
He's not even bringing the hot chicks.
He's just bringing a crowd of their ugly friend.
It's messed up, man.
He's got the ugly friend of every group.
The next line.
The name Bernard Toon and not the game of basketball is their reason for following Gorton.
They like to be with a big name and the sweep of Toon's coattails is an umbrella for their otherwise Bush behavior.
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck does that mean?
That sounds racist.
That's, well, yeah, I think they probably mean Bush League.
Right.
Or maybe not.
It sounds like- Maybe not.
What are they doing?
I don't know.
That doesn't sound good, though.
No, it doesn't.
That sounds horrific.
Attractive and this, and it's mean, too.
They like to be with the big name in the sweep of tunes.
Coattails is an umbrella for their otherwise Bush behavior.
Good Lord.
Jesus Christ, man. Don't come see him play you
fucking bastards keep the dregs out of here wow and says more redeeming his tunes appeal to the
youngsters the kids love bernard and he always seems willing to sign autographs he's in high
school by the way yeah mind you signing up yeah after gorton lost to Newberg, which is right across the river from me, and I think that has the highest murder rate in the entire country, literally, and Toon suffered a sprained ankle, many of the win-only fans left the game early.
A few youngsters remained, however, and they surrounded the All-American despite the defeat.
If Toon recognizes who his true friends are his career should be more
spectacular they don't like these friends that come around and see him play i think he's surrounded
he's already running with the wrong crowd running with the wrong crowd jimmy it's over he's screwed
here and he does have uh we as we find out later on a bunch of kind of knucklehead friends that are
into some shit but i mean who else is he supposed to hang out with if there's a bunch of kind of knucklehead friends that are into some shit but i mean who else is
he supposed to hang out with if there's a lot of people in his area that are like that i don't know
who else he's supposed to be friends with at 16 17 years old like my friends are idiots too because
that's what i grew up with who else am i gonna fucking hang out with is this journalist recruiting
new friends for him like what are you doing man you're just gonna run him down in the paper with
who he surrounds himself with that's it like that's gonna fix it an unattractive group of people apparently that
he's friends with that's gonna fix it you're trying to fix this or what crooked teeth and
bald patches and you don't want these people around part of the fucking problem here what
are we doing so uh here's one uh from 1975 and uh he says, because he has a big game in some tournament,
and he says, I knew we were in the semifinals,
and I knew I had to play well for us to win.
Besides, after the bad game I gave the fans Monday,
I had to come up with something big.
I had to drop in at least 30 points.
So he does.
He scores 31 points and beats the shit out of some team here.
16 of 20 from the floor he also had
he blocked five shots and had four assists and he only missed four shots yeah he's killing it
missed four he blocked more than he missed so he blocked five and missed four which is pretty
goddamn impressive and he is a first team parade all-amer-American. And parade, from what I've gathered, yeah, parade, the group of magazines,
apparently parade was what now is a McDonald's All-American.
Then it was a parade All-American here.
Yeah, they've honored, what does it say here?
Nationally honored the top high school boys basketball players in the United States.
We just like looking at the boys basketball players and putting them all we just like gathering them in a magazine all the
pictures right there there's just something about it it makes us boys and shorts it's hot
just this this trend of the longer shorts these days i don't care for it i don't care for it i
like it just right up under a young man's nutsack that's how i like my that's how i like my shorts
i like my shorts to wear if
they flop or if they get a hard foul when they go down you might get a you might get a peak you get
a hard foul uh yeah so he uh he was he did great in high school i mean there's no uh no doubt about
it they had two section one class a titles in 73 and 75 he was named new york state's most valuable player and here and uh
yeah he averaged over 31 points a game and his coach who'd been coaching since the early 60s
said that tune is quote one of the most awesome players i've ever coached and his attitude was
tremendous so it sounds like the world is his oyster. He is 6'9", 210 pounds, and he decides he has over 200 college offers.
Wow.
So basically every college, and we're talking North Carolina offered him a scholarship, Maryland, UCLA, every team you can think of that's a big team and then a hundred more all offered him scholarships
here which is pretty impressive he can go anywhere on earth he wanted to go and he decides to go to
marquette okay so he's going to go to wisconsin yeah he can go anywhere literally in the entire
nation and play for any of any top level program. Right. And he chooses to go to Milwaukee.
Freezing ass.
It's an interesting choice.
No offense.
We like Wisconsin.
Yeah.
I mean, if you could go anywhere.
I don't know if Marquette is your first choice, probably, is all I'm saying.
You don't hear a lot of guys that are the best player, number one player in the country,
being like, I'm going to Marquette.
They've had a lot of good players, but it's just that's a sales job.
It's been a surprise every time.
Yeah.
His choices that he narrowed it down to were Maryland, who is a powerhouse.
UNLV, who, you know, it's Vegas.
Hawaii, I assume based on nothing but the fact that it's in hawaii there's
a good reason to want to go there it's hawaii it's nothing to do with the basketball program or
education it's fucking hawaii it's goddamn hawaii you might want to spend four years there yeah and
marquette those are his four choices that's his four choices that's his down to his final four
that's a bad batch it's a thing, and he chooses Marquette.
He's already questionable as fuck.
Yeah, it's an odd decision to make.
He said, quote, I decided on Marquette because I was very impressed with Coach Al McGuire and the players on the team.
He thinks they have a chance.
He's been doing very well.
He says it makes sense to go there.
He says, quote, it's like lawyers and doctors picking a
school because it will help them in their profession he's like marquette al mcguire
is going to coach me up this is going to be good shit so uh 75 76 he goes to marquette the marquette
golden eagles by the way in case you were wondering uh did you know that i didn't know i
didn't yeah i didn't you didn't know that i know i know that because we drove by Marquette when we did the show when we were up there in Milwaukee.
That's right.
There's another college right fucking there.
Yeah, there's a bunch up there.
We'll be in Milwaukee in 2022.
We will.
It's on our website.
But Marquette and something else are like pissing distance.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're so close.
Yeah, there's a couple up there.
Every major city has like four colleges. You're like, that's there? Really? I didn't know that. like pissing distance yeah yeah yeah they're so close yeah there's a couple up there every
major city has like four colleges you're like that's there really i don't know that
until you get out west yeah then it's just college named after the fucking state that's it yeah this
so-and-so state right that's it oh there's arizona state university of that's it yeah that's it it's
in the two cities that are there so the 75 76-76 Marquette Golden Eagles here, they have six future NBA players on this team.
Really?
Which is pretty goddamn solid, I would say.
Earl Tatum, Butch Lee, Bo Ellis, Lloyd Watson, Jerome Whitehead, and Bernard.
Okay.
So six of them.
That's impressive here.
They go 27-2 over the season, which is fucking impressive.
You've got a starting lineup of NBA players and a sixth man.
And a sixth man.
Yeah, your freshman sixth man.
It's pretty awesome.
He was, too.
He was the sixth man coming in here, Bernard.
So this is Coach Al McGuire, who's like a Hall of Fame coach at this point.
They go to the tournament, and they win the first round.
They beat Western Kentucky 79-60.
The second round, 62-57, they beat Western Michigan.
So they're going to play some team that's not a Western version of the good school,
hopefully, here.
And then they end up playing Indiana in the next round,
and they lose 65-56 versus Indiana.
So, you know, it's his freshman year.
He only averages 12 minutes a game.
So he's not playing that much.
He averages, what is it, 5.5 points a game, three rebounds.
So he's a freshman.
He's a kid.
You bring him in slow, basically.
Especially if you have a good team like that.
There's no need to force a kid into the lineup.
He can kind of sit back and learn at that point.
So he apparently got in one game here in the tournament, and they talk about this.
He does well.
And this is New Year's Eve of 75.
This comes out.
And he says, quote, I was kind of surprised coach went to me.
I thought he would go to Craig Butram to get a little more height,
but I figured I got in, I could do what I did.
Okay, there you go.
They were giving me shots and as I was taking them and making them.
And yeah, so Al McGuire, by the way, Al McGuire is a complete dick to him.
I feel like Al McGuire, and this is just my opinion, obviously.
I don't know because other players, I'm sure, went on to be successful after being coached by him.
But I feel like Al McGuire just ruined his psyche.
Just ruined it, destroyed it.
He's kind of a sensitive kid who's been coddled a lot.
Yeah.
And Al McGuire just trashes him constantly.
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trashism he's he's one of these like bill parcells type coaches that it's like um
you know if a guy's got talent he acts like there's like some sort of antipathy toward him for that
like you talented fucking asshole like rather than like trying to get the most but if it's
some scrappy guy who you don't expect anything out of and he does well and i love that guy he's
the best and does nothing but praise him yeah he's one of those guys it's like if bill parcells uh
coached the bucks last year he'd he'd rip on an offensive lineman and or rip on brady and be
nice to that some shit bag that got brady sacked that's what it would be yeah because he no and
unless he yeah because he like back in the day he used to just rip phil sims a new asshole yeah
you know like you and like i remember thinking wow sims must be terrible then you look at his
stats and you're like well he's leading the league in passing what the fuck is happening here calm down giants are 10 and 2
why do you hate him so much it's it was very weird why do you hate success bill it's the only guy
didn't do that too was lt lt was the only guy yeah because he fought back he said he just no he just
never fucked with him he just said that's that's the's a, he's a, he's Seabiscuit. You just let him run.
Like, sorry.
You get like one of those guys a generation don't get in his way, basically.
LT's willing to lock Bill out of practice, like padlock the gates.
Yeah.
He's willing to do that to practice.
LT will lock him out of his own vehicle.
That's the thing.
And he can say whatever he wants because then he had three sacks on the game.
And I'm like, well, he did. He was the cause of our win so i guess fuck it let him do what he wants
um so they're laughing at lt's joke ah it's so hilarious lawrence can i come in now and you're
not yeah you're not gonna there's just no reason to fight with him because he's never going to give
in that's not the way to approach him you know it's just not so al mcguire says this in the paper
this is of an 18 year old kid quote toon leaves a little bit to be desired in terms of shape but
he did a great job oh in terms of shape what the fuck once he jumped as high as i've ever seen a
college player his size jump yeah so that's what he gives him there's a bit feminine but you know
yeah i don't know he's got some tits on him but outside of that
i dig his hips but listen oh man so 1976 there's this article about it's such like sign of the
times article of just like how things were back then it's an article about how um you know it's
a good thing that al mcguire's real tough on his players which is fine because
people still think that about players that's that's fine but it's also like like in addition
to being tough on his players like it's almost like uh you know he's extra mean to the black
guys and that shows that he's that shows that he's not racist like that's what the article says
literally that's what it says he's like like, that shows how not racist he is.
Like, see, he's not hiding it.
He's not like, it's really a weird article.
And then it goes into just how.
Do they think that racism means like doing it in private?
It's very strange.
Like, look at that.
He's so not racist.
He just called that black kid the N-word.
Isn't that.
He does it out in the open because he's not racist. Everyone knows knows how unracist he is that it's okay for him to do that
like what no that's not how it works so uh that's like the beginning of it and the article talks
about uh he says quote this is from this guy carter is the writer's name quote i don't know
anybody who enjoys black jokes more than gramblings eddie robinson who's a famous legendary obviously black coach from grambling uh he says uh and then he uh
unless it's his sports information uh director collie nelson and they certainly don't mind
telling me white jokes and i don't mind it i love it so apparently he goes there and starts
cracking black jokes at the staff of the most historic black football college in the country for some reason because they crack white jokes back at him.
I don't know.
Maybe they're doing it, coach, in defense of themselves.
Like, what are you talking about, sir?
They don't actually like you probably is the difference.
But I guess, I don't know.
Yeah, it's a great time.
We're all inclusive
yeah yeah well they talk about here how this was back in the day of like a lot of colleges
would only start a certain number of black players okay because it would it would quote
piss off the alumni if you had more so yeah this was a this was a thing back then like uh
that was like how many black guys
are starting it was a big deal in the 70s and 60s especially it was real big and uh so they were
saying they're praising mcguire saying that uh quote uh surely this attitude is responsible for
the rapport mcguire has with his players black and white alike mcguire this season started five
blacks he didn't start a, quote, house white
and then remove him in favor of a better black player.
And I would guess that before it became acceptable
to use two or more blacks,
he had no, quote, house blacks.
As tough as the colorful McGuire's reputation is,
he apparently pampers his players
at least as much as he disciplines them.
So they're saying they're
saying he's fair he started five black guys unlike the other coaches who will start two black guys
and three white guys and then pull two of the white guys after three minutes and put the actual
starters in just so it doesn't look like you have four out of five black starters which coaches did
back then yeah which is so fucking weird to think about that like but there was a big it
was a big deal like that was a big thing with the alumni but you can't put the word house in there
no no you can't he didn't mean it in terms of that he means it in terms of
the the team but still it doesn't it's he's trying to be cheeky and it's like listen dude
calm down i get that you tell eddie robinson black jokes
we don't need to you know chill out dude pluralizing the world the word black is awful
that that's almost as bad yeah well no he's just i don't know yeah it is it is i hate it
yeah the way he says it back then that that was... Yeah, that was probably woke.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
I think that was considered not a bad thing at the time.
So anyway, it's interesting here.
So he says he's yelling at Bernard Toon at one point. He says while he was pointing out...
The reporter's talking about a practice.
He said while McGuire was pointing out the errors of Bernard Toon, a practice he said while mcguire was pointing out
the errors of bernard toon the big freshman turned around and walked away and uh mcguire said quote
you don't think that's true and yelled at him and then he ended up saying that the guy toon went and
like sulked at the end of the bench he said but that's the guy saying that's good for him here he
said that when toon finally joined the half speed fast break drill he slopped around losing the ball and missing shots and mcguire shouted quote grow up bernard or
get dressed don't be doing us any favors by hanging around and he said that you know bernard reacted
well to that and started playing better in the practice so um yeah they're basically saying he's
he's tough on his players and this is all a good thing.
And one of his players said, quote, maybe it hurts sometime, maybe it helps sometime, but he's the boss.
He's one of these college coaches that dominates the whole city and program and all that sort of shit here.
So, yeah, that ends up working out.
So he said, this is one thing he said, quote,
Bernard has absolutely the finest personality of any kid I've ever had,
and he's the purest shooter for a 6'9 guy of maybe any guy in the history of basketball.
Jesus Christ.
That's saying a lot.
He's got the touch of a velvet burglar.
A velvet burglar.
Oh, my.
That sounds pretty hot hot yeah yeah that's
some hot shit right there the velvet burglar you know of anybody six foot nine i can think of like
flowers there comes in with like a dozen roses yeah i think a lot of six foot nine guys and
he's saying he's better than all of them better than all of them he's got the touch of a velvet burglar a second story man it's frightening oh boy he can get up
there too hey he was the number three guy in the country coming out of high school two years ago
and the other two went pro but hey the bowery is full of geniuses just because you're good doesn't
mean you're going to play good so that's what al Al McGuire said about him. Now, the 76-77 season is where it's the subject of an ESPN documentary, Untucked.
Have you ever seen this one?
It's about Marquette from this year where basically Al McGuire let them design their own uniforms.
And they had a bunch of crazy uniforms that were, like, cool that they liked, you know what I mean, that weren't designed by some, you know, some corny designer somewhere.
There's some group of corny designers.
Yeah, exactly.
And one of the jerseys was an untucked jersey, a jersey that was meant to be worn untucked.
Okay.
The original untucked.
Yeah, the original untucked was invented by marquette's basketball team fascinating so
yeah and it became like a big deal a lot of people thought it was cool kids thought it was cool
because they're the all everyone else is all tight and tucked in and they had this like baggy
untucked jersey which was pretty fucking cool yeah it would have been badass yeah but that's
isn't it the rule in the league to have probably probably not in college, right, just in the NBA, to have it tucked in?
I mean, I don't even know if you had to have a rule back then.
It was probably one of those things of like, you know, it's probably one of those, the coach will make them tuck it in.
I don't know.
But these jerseys were like not meant to be tucked in.
They had like a ridge thing at the bottom.
They're weird, hard to describe.
Look them up.
Tapered?
They're interesting.
It's hard to describe the way they do it, but they would look like, I don't know how you would tuck them in.
It would be weird.
They would puff out on you, it looks like.
So he, I mean, basically the Marquette team is really good.
So right away he's under a big microscope.
Sure.
If you went to a smaller program, it might have been better for him,
for the particular guy with his personality.
But he jumps in the deep end, which, hey, good for him.
He's got some balls.
So basically they said the more he plays, the less he gets along with the coach here.
The coach is always coming at him, always breaking his balls, and it becomes an issue.
The 76-77, the untucked team, though, they go 25-7 overall, but they go to the tournament.
Now, this year, he only plays in 14 minutes a game still.
What is it, 4.4 points, 2.2 rebounds, in 14 minutes a game still. What is it?
4.4 points, 2.2 rebounds.
But he has a really good tournament.
He comes in and off the bench and has a good tournament.
And first round, they beat Cincinnati 66-51.
And during this game here, they get in a fight.
Who?
Bernard and Al McGuire.
Oh, what?
In a physical fight in the locker room.
So we'll talk about that in a moment after the tournament stuff.
But they beat Kansas State 67-66, so that's pretty close here.
Wake Forest is up next in the tourney.
They beat them 82-68.
up next in the tourney uh they beat them 82 68 then uh they go they play charlotte and beat them 51 49 and go all the way to the final all right last game of the national championship where they
play north carolina who is a powerhouse and they win 67 59 and become national champions look at
this yep and uh bernard's the first guy cutting the net down.
There's a picture of him with the net around his neck next to the coach and all that shit.
I mean, it's a big deal.
Remember when I punched you a few games ago?
Hey, it's all right.
See?
That's the way it was.
And people use that as an example forever.
Whenever there's a coach issue or a coach and a player have beef, people will be like,
well, I mean, shit, Al McGuire punched Bernard Toon in the face at the halftime of the first coach issue or coach and a player have beef yeah people will be like well i mean shit al mcguire
punched bernard toon in the face and at the half time of the first round of the tournament and they
ended up winning so it's all good i don't know if that means it's all good no it doesn't but
i don't think so never punch a a player i wouldn't imagine especially because the only reason he's
not pummeling you back is because you're the coach. Right. That's what's bullshit. Yeah. Like, if you saw that guy and he was a stranger, a six foot nine, 20 year old man, you wouldn't
go punch him in the face because he would pound you into a puddle of piss on the ground.
You'd be dead.
There's the power dynamic here.
Yeah.
The only reason is he doesn't want to get kicked off the team.
So he's not going to hit your fucking 50 year old five foot eight ass back.
Fucking ridiculous.
So Al McGuire talks about this team and he says this is his whole overview.
He said Jerome Whitehead played over his head in the tournament.
Who's the white kid I used to call the cloud piercer?
Jim Dudley.
He had a great run.
I know that was before FedEx, but he was FedEx.
He delivered.
I can't believe i didn't
see that ability butch lee and bo ellis were inside and outside jimmy boylan was the toughness
bt bernard toon was the comedy and a kid who could play uh and the consistency was the kid bill neary
so uh that's that's his whole team nicknames yeah he calls him he calls and this is a name that
sticks to bernard and he hates it is he
calls him looney tune okay that's his whole thing he says he's a goofball right he kind of just
labels him this and kind of almost puts him in this box where that's what he has to be yeah
because it's also low-hanging fruit it's not yeah clever it's just i mean it's a 70s basketball
coach i don't expect him to have any kind of
comedic writing team or anything he's gonna go in he goes no no that's hacky that's hacky
give me something better i saw letterman do that 10 years ago it's not gonna work
there's not like a a bernie something that's happening at the moment in terms
in the 70s you'd think there'd be a comedian named bernie something i don't know not that i know of so um
he uh he basically would at one point he got yanked out of a game and he was uh on the bench
crying bernard was not very mature during a tournament yeah because he's a kid and he
embarrassed him basically um so anyway it was this is from al mcgu anyway, this is from Al McGuire.
This is from one of the other players.
He said, quote,
The first game of our tournament, we play Cincinnati
and we're behind at the half.
In the locker room, Al McGuire and Bernard Toon
start yelling and throwing punches at each other.
So I grab Bernard, haul him outside into the hall
and wrap my arms around him so he can't move.
People are walking by looking at us.
So I say, quote, we're just stretching here.
He's holding an angry guy back.
We're stretching.
This is how we stretch.
I get behind him and hold him tightly.
It's a really good way to stretch.
I'm going to stretch him wide open.
This is how the pros do it, kids.
Grab your friends from behind and squeeze.
Have yourselves a good stretch here.
So Al McGuire said this, quote,
One of the big things that got us going in the tournament, he means,
was at halftime in Omaha against Cincinnati.
I punched Bernard Toon.
A dance hall fight type of thing.
He could have eaten me up.
He's six foot eight.
He didn't understand me.
I don't lie to my ballplayers.
If I have to lie, I just don't say anything.
If I come home late and my wife asks where I was, I say, did somebody call?
I'm not going to lie.
I'm just not going to tell you.
Where were you?
What?
Somebody, anybody call?
No.
All right.
I'll be in the back room.
Like, that's fucking crazy. I wish I would have thought of that i might still be married if i if i chose
that path if you this is a kids this is something to live by everyone uh if quote if i have to lie
i just don't say anything brilliant so he treats it like if you can't say something nice
yeah knowing nothing incriminating.
I take the fifth.
Did somebody call?
It's the same thing.
Are you kidding me, man?
He broke the code.
He figured it out.
He cracked something.
That's the answer right there.
Who is she?
If I come home late and my wife asks where I was, I say, did somebody call?
What the fuck?
Who is she?
Did you take out the trash?
Wow.
That'll either give everyone long marriages or very short ones.
Yeah.
One or the other, depending on who you're married to.
One or the other.
Are you drunk?
What's your name?
What's your name?
You want to go out Saturday night? Are you drunk? What's your name? What's your name? You want to go out Saturday night?
Are you drunk?
Where are the kids?
Are you drunk?
Is Perry Mason on tonight?
It was 1977.
Whatever the fuck we watched.
How was all in the family?
Was it good?
What was Archie saying tonight?
Have you been drinking?
What's the neighbor's name?
What's the neighbor's name what's the neighbor's name
I could be so happily married no I couldn't why do you smell like perfume
what's the name of the guy who fixed our brakes on the car last week
I need his number she just gives it to you and ignores the first question that's great
that's I mean you'd need that other partner who would take that as, well, I guess he doesn't
want to talk.
Most people would take that as, what motherfucker asked you a question?
Did you answer a question with a question?
This will either save or ruin your marriage.
We're not sure which.
And we're not going to be responsible for either of those.
No, don't look at me.
Look at Al.
Al told us.
Exactly. We've both been divorced. We obviously don't know what we're doing. We're just listening to the responsible for either of those. No, don't look at me. Look at Al. Al told us. Exactly.
We've both been divorced.
We obviously don't know what we're doing.
We're just listening to the coach.
Yeah.
He says, quote, this is Al McGuire,
these guys know when they come to Marquette, that's the way I coach.
After 25 years in basketball, there's not a player, coach, or referee I can't look in the eye.
I don't have to slip into the men's room.
What, to blow them?
What is that? What are we talking about? I don't't have to slip into the men's room what to blow them what is that we're talking about i don't have to i don't have to wave them is that we have to wave
them into the men's room is that where we cower is that where we show them who's boss no shit is
that where we let them show us who's boss i i guess what is that boss is a way to put it over
the fucking urinal i don't know how they do this. You get in that stall right now.
Yeah.
So Toon apparently one time at practice,
McGuire said to him in front of the press, quote,
Bernard, pay attention.
This is important.
This isn't school.
So he'd say shit like that. He'd talk shit about him all the time and kind of break his balls here.
So apparently, yeah, during the game, he slaps and punches
Toon, or slaps or punches Toon,
and then they have a scuffle,
they're just stretching, and then they go on to win
the tournament there. Unbelievable.
Yeah, I guess Toon had complained to
Al McGuire that he hadn't been playing enough,
and McGuire told him to shut up,
and Toon complained again in the locker room.
Why aren't you playing me? So they
said, without warning,
McGuire punched him and wrestled him to the ground.
One of the team's trainers fractured his wrist
by pulling them apart.
Wow.
So he hurt himself.
At least they had to take care of it.
Yeah, yeah.
No shit.
Yeah, I got to wrap myself up.
Al says, quote,
the other team is in the locker room talking strategy
and X's and o's and we're
having a rumble so that's that's not great here um but that's the way you get your mind off of the
off of the pressure of what's happening out there on the floor just beat the shit out of each other
i guess and you're mad at the coach and you're not even thinking about it anymore i suppose i
mean that's maybe that's how you do it but uh he ended up doing a good job here in the tournament he scored 18 points
against wake forest which was you know two games later and uh he says quote right now the hollering
seems to be coming out for the best this is toon saying uh i've really started to play the last
five or six games i just can't say if it helped. I'm just glad to be playing well right now.
I look at the tournament as a new season.
It's nice to play well now because it gives you the chance to show a lot of people you
can play and what your potential is.
And he said that, and Al McGuire said that, quote, Bernard's a good ball player.
His time is still to come.
I think it might be in the next two years, you know, what's going to happen here.
He ends up retiring after they win the tournament here in linguire yeah he goes out on top and takes a high paying job as an announcer smart uh yeah back then now college coaches make a shit
load of money they make a lot of fucking money and they have like their salaries big and then
they also have like a radio show and a TV show and all this other shit.
They get a free house and all this crazy shit.
Back then, it wasn't the same.
You had to get to the pros or the big deal.
The big money was in TV.
That's the big money here.
So, yeah, they're saying they like Toon now, and they're very happy.
And Toon says, quote, I'm just glad we're in the Final Four,
and I think we've got a real good chance to win it all.
A lot of people counted us out in the middle part of the season,
but I think we're the same team they ranked number one
in the beginning of the season.
I really couldn't think of a better time to play good
than the final game of the regionals.
I just want to keep playing well.
That's all he's about here.
Now, as good as he is going into the next season,
Al McGuire still isn't saying he's going to start. He says he's good enough to start,
but he doesn't know if he'll start him anyway. He says, quote, no question he has the ability
to start. It's just our system at Marquette. He's saying he doesn't know if he'll start.
It's up to the next coach. But he's saying, you know, that was what my deal was. He would have
probably started for a different coach as a sophomore but probably not as a freshman bernard
knew he waited his turn in the first two years when he came off the bench that he would start
his junior and senior years um yeah uh and then he says quote there's something about bernard you
have to understand he's probably the purest shooter in the country i'm not trying to get into why he
doesn't start he will not start in atlanta even if he gets 32 points so uh he's really good he
could be the best shooter in the country yeah he's amazing but i don't think i'm going to start him
anyway so i don't know i feel like that would fuck my psyche up a little bit yeah it's not it's not
helping why yeah it's not helping any especially after two
years it's like okay maybe a different approach to this guy and how much more pure can i be you
just called me the most pure like what more do you want out of me yeah that's what i mean perfect
yeah he says bernard is still half a year from using his dynamite potential they love dynamite
with this guy next year after we lose bo ell Bo Ellis, Bernard will probably emerge as our baseline star.
But then next year is Butch Lee's year, and juniors and the Jays, Jerome Whitehead and Jim Boylan, they'll be seniors.
People probably don't understand our star system here, but we've got to take care of our seniors.
They're the stars.
Take care of whoever's a good player.
Yeah.
How about that?
That's how you win.
Yeah.
We try at Marquette not to teach by losing.
We don't try to be good every three or four years.
We're good every year.
Hey, we've gone to tournaments now 11 years in a row.
So the ballplayers usually have to wait their turns.
It's a pecking order kind of thing.
Bernard is the same way.
He told me a few weeks ago, hey, I'm a tournament player.
I ought to be playing.
I told him, how the hell are we going to get to a tournament the way you're playing?
So, yeah.
He says the reason he yells at Bernard is because he's so talented.
Is that what it is?
Yeah.
He says, I don't get involved with a player with limited talent.
Hey, you never see me yelling at Bill Neary or Craig Butram.
But with Bernard, i've got to yell
and bring it out of him when a guy has the god-given ability that bernard does it would
be a mortal sin for a coach not to get it out of him okay so he's just trying to waste it
yeah he's like par parcells the more talented you are the more expects he expects from you and
anything short of perfection is you're gonna get shit for it basically you're never going to
get you might get like like you know if you win the tournament the coach will be nice to you for
that day yeah the next practice he's going to be like all right you piece of shit you know and this
is the 70s can you imagine the names they were called gee oh god damn it you can say anything
you could punch a player and it was fine you get fired for that now period and that was reported
at the time and he wasn't considered a bad fired for that now, period. And that was reported at the time.
And he wasn't considered a bad guy for that.
That was just like, well, that's normal.
So he says that, quote, I understand him now.
This is Bernard talking about McGuire.
That's just his way.
He does it every year.
But when Butch Lee was a freshman, he always yelled at Butch.
People talked about how maybe I was going to change schools because of McGuire, but it never got to that.
So that's how bad he was picking on him.
The press was like, he's going to transfer.
This is crazy.
What are we talking about?
I believe.
Right.
Seventy seven.
Seventy eight.
Marquette's twenty four and four.
And this is under coach Hank Raymond's.
So still good.
They go to the tournament.
They play Miami of Ohio in the first round and lose 84 to 81.
So they get bounced in the first round.
This year he plays in 24.5 minutes a game, which is better.
9.3 points, 4.8 rebounds for Bernard.
So he's starting to make his way into it now.
That's pretty much a starter almost here, or at least a six-man.
Playing over a half.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
24 and change is pretty good here.
He says that, he says, Toon says, quote,
it hurt and I was frustrated.
It took most of my junior year to get my game back.
That's about, he's talking about how this year he was so kind of just the mental toll
of dealing with Al McGuire the year before.
He said it fucked them all up, and it took him halfway through the junior year
just to get back to what he was doing before, which, yeah, coaches,
that thing will bring it out of some players and it will ruin some players.
So he says, but it was just Al McGuire's system that made me sit the first two years.
He favored his seniors.
He favored his seniors, but I never thought of transferring.
I had to hold my head up.
So they basically like they would say that a lot of like things would come out in the paper about how you know
mcguire because there'd be quite people questioning why isn't this guy starting and then there'd be
like an article in the paper about what a flake tune is and what you know what an idiot he is and
how you know his nickname's looney tune yeah it's kind of like mcguire covering his own ass
so people wouldn't ask questions this is creating a lot of indecision, though.
You know, like, am I this or am I that?
Am I this or am I that?
Totally.
I've got a newspaper writing this about me.
I've got the coach calling me this, and then my teammates love me.
It's hard to decipher.
Yeah.
And if you're a kid, too, I mean, 19, 20 years old as a kid,
how would you deal with that?
It's confusing as fuck.
Yeah.
It's very strange.
And so McGuire said, quote, Looney Tune, that's a nickname I called him in kidding.
He said, you know me in one-liner.
Somebody picked up on it.
Bernard is a highly intelligent kid.
He comes from good stock.
Yeah.
Do we know?
What the fuck does that mean?
Yeah.
Well, speaking of good stock right around
this time in his junior year bernard senior dies so yeah dad dies here so that's not great for him
obviously um you know he's not in high school but still college is pretty young to lose a parent
and it might be at the most uh inopportune time because this is the time where he's got to be
prepared to be an adult yeah and it sounds like he could use like an adult maybe even an adult man because uh not
to take anything away from his mom but this is like dealing with a coach and that's yeah it's
man it's man on man older man that sounds gross it's older man on younger man pounding away jimmy that's what it is so you need like a authoritarian dynamic
yes of of of the gay sex in this particular instance that's what it is man man older man
on younger man older man on student athlete on student man on on six foot nine glistening athletic student athlete,
man.
Uh,
his senior season at Marquette here,
uh,
they go 22 and seven and finished 10th overall.
And they,
in the first round,
they beat Pacific in the tournament.
They beat the shit out of them,
73,
48.
And then they lose to DePaul in the second round of the tournament here so 62 to
56 so uh this year though he seems like he's definitely a starter a star replays 31.7 minutes
a game yeah does bernard which is nice 18.7 points a game 6.7 rebounds 1.9 assists lifting
and he's up to the task now he's doing great yeah he's he's fucking
killing it um so uh al mcguire still talking shit about him still not happy al jesus he was in new
zealand doing something and he told the newspaper quote in new zealand they play to play it doesn't
make any difference who won the game that's the way bernard plays but i'm different i want to win because they keep score so he's talking shit about him from overseas yeah which is pretty fucked up now you
just got a crotch al now yeah come on now you're just pulling hair and sticking your gum in armpits
the 1979 nba draft comes around and bern Bernard is hoping to be drafted here.
He declares?
Well, it's after his senior year, so he's no more eligibility.
Number one pick in the draft this year, Jimmy?
In what year?
79.
Oh, Joe Montana.
Yes, Dan Marino.
Magic Johnson, number one overall.
Really?
Absolutely. Magic Johnson, number one overall. Really? Absolutely.
Magic Johnson, number one overall.
In 1979?
79.
By the way, I think Montana was drafted in the NFL in 79.
Was he?
I think so.
Third round.
I guess that would make sense.
Yeah.
So, yeah, Magic Johnson, number one overall out of Michigan State.
Jesus.
Which is, I think Larry Bird was the next year.
Right?
That's how that went.
It must have been.
Number two, David Greenwood to the Bulls from UCLA.
Yeah.
Number three overall, Bill Cartwright, who we were just talking about.
Holy shit.
Making fun of the Bulls center there, one of their trio of mediocre centers later on.
HIV did ruin his career, but it's crazy that uh bill cartwright
played so much longer yeah yeah he played forever played like 30 years yeah two years of magic
johnson that were better than bill cartwright's entire career put together so nothing against
bill cartwright he's a fine player but i I mean, Magic Johnson is a Hall of Fame legend.
Bill Cartwright lasted as long as he did.
He played like 15 years on bad knees.
Center, man.
Yeah.
Centers.
Joe Klein had a job.
Do you remember Joe Klein sitting at the end of the bench for the Suns?
He'd go in there and just stand there.
He didn't even know what he was doing anymore.
He was terrible, and they were like, well, he's still seven feet tall, though.
He's got five fouls in him we can go in there and he can throw cross body blocks on shack until he fouls out that's something we can do right bill cartwright had to do that shit for
so long because he stayed in the east he's yeah fighting people god this was he was on the knicks
at first uh greg kessler number, yeah, Kelser.
I'm sorry, Kelser of the Pistons goes number four.
Sidney Moncrief there was number five.
It's a good name.
James Bailey, number six.
Number seven, Vinny.
Oh, it's Vinny the Microwave.
Is that Microwave Johnson, Vinny Johnson?
It's got to be, right?
He goes to Seattle there.
Calvin Natt goes to the Nets's see jim paxton's in this
draft uh cliff robinson for the new jersey nets here in 70 it's not the same cliff robinson okay
he didn't play for i say boy did he play for 20 years no that's not him i just i wanted i wanted
to see the look on your face and i said that he was on there boy did he look magnificent playing in the late 90s amazing
finally number two second round 37th pick overall uh the philadelphia 76ers select bernard toon
how about here so he is chosen um and you can play in back then second third fourth round even you
could get into the league still yeah uh that that third round, the last pick of the third round was Bill Lambert.
No shit.
Yeah, who played forever.
He was in the league forever.
And a Hall of Famer.
Yeah, later on, Mark Eaton, who played forever.
Remember Mark Eaton?
He was drafted in the fifth round, 107th overall.
Wow.
And he played forever.
So, Bernard Toon, though, Philly. And at this time, Philly's great. Oh, they're good. the fifth round 107th overall and he played forever so bernard toon though philly and it's
and at this time philly's great oh they're good yeah this is a he's getting on a good team we'll
talk about their team here bernard says quote philly is a team i've been watching they lack
a consistent outside shooter i anticipated going a little higher in the draft but i was the only
forward they drafted in the first two rounds i have all the physical tools and i could play small forward or even big guard if i can play defense and rebound
but the ability to score makes me more valuable how about you calm down with critique on the team
that just fucking yeah right they need an outside shooter there's some small forward like hey fuck
you we have julius irving sir shut up they don't have seven people on their team their team is fully
they have a full roster you're talking shit about somebody there's a writer here that thinks philly
got a steal with him an absolute steal yeah he says uh despite his talent as a shooter
improved rebounding he said uh the only thing is the old raps on him or that quote he's inclined
to be lackadaisical uh he didn't like to mix it up.
He wasn't like a fighter.
His mind wasn't always on the court.
So that's what they say.
The Bucs declined to pick him.
They thought he was going to go to Milwaukee.
That's what everybody thought.
And they thought that the tags on him were justified.
So all these rumors, they actually affect his draft status.
How about that?
Yeah.
Don Nelson here is who's a legendary coach,
he said, we just didn't think he was physical enough
to play strong forward night after night.
Yeah, he's a shooter, so maybe not.
So they end up taking him, the Sixers.
This writer says, quote, I think the 76ers got a steal.
I think the other teams made a mistake.
I think that given time, Toon will recover fully
from the shock of playing under al mcguire okay so it's two years later they're still like he's
still fucked up mentally for al mcguire he'll be back um so he said that he thinks in time
toon may develop the consistency that he lacked in college and that he obviously had in high school
he says what i've seen so far i suspect
that this is only the tip of his talent and he says the lure of the dollar will prove more
persuasive than the bark of mcguire and he's going to be just fine so there you go the wait is over
so far you're not losing the only thing you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that. Bing! The queen of the courtroom is back.
I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
Okay, so, um...
This is not a so.
This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
The Emmy Award winning series returns.
How did I know that?
I have a crystal ball in my head.
It's an all new season. It's streaming. You can say anything.
Judy Justice, only on Freebie.
That's what he says. Al McGuire said, quote, Bernard was under tremendous pressure last year
with Marquette as one of the only returning starters. That experience should help him in the pros. He can throw it up with anybody. He's one of the pure shooters Marquette's
ever had. He can go baseline better than any big man I know. I believe they can post him up high
in the pros because he is a big man with a touch that can burn. Philadelphia is the perfect team
for Bernard. I think you'll see him play. Give him a year. Good things there. Pat Williams,
the Sixers GM, says, I'll say I'm
impressed with one thing, his ability to
score. That's why we drafted Bernard.
After we selected Jim Sparkanel
or Sparkerkel
and Clint Richardson,
Billy Cunningham advised
me to go after the best shooter available.
That was Toon.
He has an opportunity here, but he'll probably have to beat out Joe Bryant.
We'll be rooting for him.
We'll see what else he can do in addition to shooting when the bell rings under our preseason camp.
So there you go.
They're saying he's going to be good, though.
Bernard says, quote, I'm just happy to be there.
You have to realize the odds of becoming a pro.
Of all the black kids in the ghettos and the parks trying for that dream.
Only a few make it. Sometimes they don't realize until it's too late that they've wasted their lives on that dream.
They have nothing to fall back on. So that's what he says.
Bernard, they do say in this article, quote, tune as a degree in broadcasting from Marquette University to fall back on.
And if he wants, there are job offers back in Milwaukee to work at local TV stations.
Wow, that's great.
That's not true, though.
No, that's true.
He doesn't graduate.
He doesn't have credits.
No, he has no degree.
I don't know what PR team put that out, but it's not true.
And back then, nobody would check on that kind of shit.
Was that was that a strategy like to make them feel like we don't need this?
So treat me better. It was it was that a strategy like to make them feel like we don't need this so treat me
better it was it was just a pr thing it made marquette seem better if they graduated their
players so marquette would happily keep the lie going and it makes him sound like he's a you know
he's a dependable and a more dependable guy yeah that's the word student comes before athlete
yeah you know that goes blah blah blah so uh they said that his ambition, his schooling, his dreams have all been geared to playing professional basketball.
So they said that he's ready to go.
They said that he says, quote, the second round, this is Bernard, the second round isn't so bad, and I'm very happy it's Philadelphia.
The second round isn't so bad, and I'm very happy it's Philadelphia.
He said, after the first six or seven picks in the draft,
pretty much anything can happen.
I'm just happy to be getting a shot at pro ball.
They showed the most interest in me,
and I like the idea of playing close to home because Philly's only a couple hours from New York.
And, yeah, so this is Don Nelson.
Toon is a good basketball player, but we just liked Edgar Jones better.
So there he goes.
He's going in, and he's ready to go.
His mother, Hazel, she says, quote,
I just wish my husband had lived to see the day.
It would have been something around here.
So that's what he says.
So he's in the NBA.
Hazel's happy.
Everything's going great.
He's got everything Marquetteette all that drama's behind him
just missing his dad that's it grace this is grace this is certainly grace right here everything
the world is in his hands it's his oyster everything anything good could happen right
now yeah this you know what i mean let's find out what he does with it. All right. 79-80 this season with Philly.
They finish 59-23.
Okay.
Okay, there we go.
That's not bad.
As a matter of fact, they go to the playoffs.
They beat the Bullets in the first round.
They beat the Hawks 4-1 in games in the second round.
Eastern Conference Finals, they beat the Celtics 4 games to 1.
What?
And this is, you know, before.
They didn't have
larry bird it's a little yeah it's a little early did he or did bird come in 78 and the magic in 79
it's got to be holy shit i thought no i think bird came in 78 did he magic in 79 i'm pretty sure
so that was the beginning of the celtics being really good there through the 80s though
and then they go to the finals and play the la lakers and magic johnson that was the
finals where magic johnson played every position as a he was a rookie point guard and kareem was
hurt so he played center one game wow that's that's magic like did that like the most amazing
rookie performance in the history of the finals it It was incredible. So you're looking up the 78?
Yeah, he was drafted in 80.
Oh, he was drafted in 80.
Okay, I couldn't remember if it was the year before or the year after.
He played at Indiana from 75 to 79.
75, okay.
I couldn't remember how that worked.
Magic, it was back-to-back though, right?
When they got drafted?
Yeah.
I mean, year.
Bookend.
You know what I'm saying.
Year after year.
Yeah, yeah.
It was 79 and 80.
Yeah.
And that has to be true.
I can't remember if it was 78 and 79 or 79 and 80.
Shit.
Magic played Michigan State until 79.
Yeah.
Well, he got drafted in 79.
Okay.
Okay.
michigan state till 79 yeah well he got drafted in 79 okay so did okay so he went he went in 79 and larry bird went in 80 or back and back and forth 79 and 80 okay got it i believe you just
looked up look up the 80 draft and see if bird is at the top of it i was just looking at their uh
their college and they both were in college in 79 it doesn't matter yeah i think
1980 nba draft yeah are you looking at it too no you're staring at me
i have my we're sitting here i have do you see me typing no i was looking at a screen while i was
typing i'm not typing so i'm staring all right there it goes now it's pulling it
jesus fuck that's impossible why does it do that i don't know i'm fucking real when was he drafted
i'm it's it's got a bar that's uh slowly going up this is unbelievable okay first round is first overall pick is Joe Barry.
And then Kiki Vandewaard.
No.
This can't be true.
This can't be real.
Okay.
I'm going to start looking it up. All right.
Let's see.
By the time.
Was he.
Was it.
Were they both drafted number one.
Hold on a second.
I mean this is. This is crazy. Let's do this. Larry Bird. Yeah. Were they both drafted number one? Hold on a second, Jimmy.
This is crazy.
Let's do this.
Larry Bird.
Let's see here.
He was born number 33.
Obviously, he's 33, clearly.
Okay.
He is the first round sixth overall in the 78 drafts yeah he came in 78 really he was 78 and and uh and magic was 79 why does his wikipedia page say he played until 79
because i have no idea because it's wrong yeah no it's not wrong because 78 draft
yeah well that would be right 78 draft and he played in 79 for indiana's it's weird because
then he didn't his what the fuck because then his yeah sixth overall it said he played in 78 78 draft
michael thompson number one wow yeah that's that draft wow so that's that's how that went and the 80 draft uh yeah is not either of them no the 78 79
then yeah got it so on on their team this year philly they had henry bibby mike bibby's dad
uh they had mo cheeks here maurice cheeks yeah doug collins the future coach daryl dawkins who
was the fucking unbelievable he's back yeah he was the Dr. J, Julius fucking Irving on this team.
I mean, this is a squad, dude.
This is the squad.
This is the reason that Dr. J is Mike Bibby's godfather.
Yeah, because they played together.
So a hell of a squad this is, and a tough squad to break into.
They have a point guard named Eric Money.
How are you going to beat out Money first? name is money motherfuckers money so that's pretty cool i would say uh now
bernard he plays in 23 games this year 5.4 minutes a game he's a rookie so obviously he's not going
to do that well uh trying to break in 2.4 points a game. My God.
1.5 rebounds.
But look at the team.
You don't need him.
Yeah, he's only playing five minutes a game.
But he's on the team.
But the next year when he comes into camp, he doesn't make the team.
They cut him.
Really?
That's it.
He never plays in the NBA again.
It's over.
It's over for him.
Done.
He played like 100 minutes in the NBA.
That's it. That is unbelievable.
All done.
He played less than two hours of NBA ball.
That's it.
Yeah.
Basically all together.
Your whole life for two hours of a career.
So he goes to play in Europe.
Yeah. He's dead. Me as well. Which, I mean, go for it. of a career. So he goes to play in Europe instead.
Yeah, me as well.
Which, I mean, go for it.
80-81, he plays for Latte, and it's spelled like Latte.
Latte Matisse Caserta.
Some team in Caserta.
Juvie Caserta. It was founded by a group of local enthusiasts in 1951.
Wow, terrific.
So he played there. This team was good in the late 80s
apparently not when he was there uh other team people have played on this team too though that
we've uh heard of here Cadillac Anderson who will have his own episode he played on this team in 92
93 uh who else here there's a couple others I think that were on this team that we've
discussed oh Charles Shackelford who will definitely have his own Crime and Sports episode.
He has also played on this team, 90-91, 93-94.
So there's been some people on this team.
He goes from there to the next year he plays in Venezuela,
which is what you think of when you think of pro ball.
Yeah.
Venezuela for Gaiteros Del Zulia.
There you go.
He plays.
It's in Maracaibo, Venezuela.
Okay.
That's where he is.
I barely know where Venezuela is.
There you go.
He plays here.
The next year they win the championship, but not when he's here.
Okay.
He maybe set the table here. He should championship, but not when he's here. So he maybe set the table here.
He comes home after these seasons, spends the next couple years just hanging around
Yonkers and basically talking to kids about his career, basically talking to kids about
basketball and how to go to the next level.
I want some of that.
I.
Yeah.
Julius Irving. Just. yeah, Julius Irving just,
I mean,
I was quote on his team.
Yeah.
Let's just say,
I mean,
he wouldn't talk to me or anything like that.
Um,
I tried to talk to him one time.
He told me to get the fuck away from him or he's going to have security remove me.
So I just left him alone.
But otherwise,
good guy.
I thought I was a fan.
He thought I was a fan.
He said,
you're a tall fan. Get the hell out of here. Tried to toss me. So that's how little he thought i was a fan he said you're a tall fan
get the hell out of here tried to toss me so that's how little he knew i was trying to sign
my jersey that's what he did that's how he treated me with my jersey with my name right back which
they misspelled by the way i don't think i was too valued there i just don't think i was very
valued um but he spends the next couple years talking about that the i've met dr j will get
you the first.
That's five minutes in front of some kids back then.
You know what I mean?
Oh, shit.
He knows Dr. J.
Everybody shut the fuck up.
He knows Darryl Dawkins.
This is crazy.
Oh, damn.
You know, Chocolate Thunder.
Fucking A.
I got to listen to this guy.
So, I mean, that'll work.
Just being on that team.
Like, damn, you were on the Sixers.
Holy shit.
That's cool.
So he spends that next couple of years. He's just kind of laying low. Yeah. And he's just kind of like, you were on the Sixers? Holy shit, that's cool. So he spends that next couple years. He's just kind of laying low, and he's just kind of like, you know, wow, he was on that Marquette National Championship team, and he, wow, he knows Dr. J and just everybody, everything like that. Everybody's in awe of him still, though.
and then a little bit of the bloom comes off the rose slightly uh when he's arrested in the parking lot of a mcdonald's um there no matter what you did yeah it doesn't get lower than being arrested
in a mcdonald's parking lot no it's there's it's either that or like mccant's got arrested in the
back of a crack house like one i don't know what's worse i mean you expect you if you're in a crack
house at any minute you could be arrested you expect if you're in a mcdonald's parking lot
you should be walking in and walking out that's it yeah what are you doing in there right as a
30 year old man what's going on in the mcdonald's parking lot whenever i love how all the papers
too back then they would put like arrested in a fast food restaurant parking lot.
Let's not use the word restaurant.
This one is we find out it's a McDonald's at 155 South Broadway and Yonkers.
And the charge that he is arrested on is criminal possession of a stolen car.
Oh, that is because he was driving a Ford that was stolen about a month earlier, by the way.
So he stole this car.
He's been driving it around for a month.
A month?
Yeah.
No one will notice.
I mean, there are a lot of cars in New York.
It's a fucking stolen car, though.
You get your ditch a stolen car after, you know.
I don't know.
What are the chances?
You know what I mean?
Driving around.
You don't just make it your new car, you know?
You fucking.
At that point, it's just a numbers game
though and what are the chances they're gonna pull over this particular one there's so many
with this guy's luck yeah i mean probably al mcguire will be in the cop car what are you
doing you son of a bitch this is life this isn't school get out of the car with your hands up like
it'd be a fucking disaster ah that's worse than anything so uh he said that uh yeah they
were driving it's a stolen ford that was stolen from the parking lot of the general motors assembly
plant in sleepy hollow he went straight to the factory he went right to the source to steal a car
he's like okay who will miss a car the least they have the most cars that they just make them they
just make another one they're
gonna fuck it they'll be like didn't we make 150 there's only 149 well i guess i miscounted and
they'll just scratch it off the list they won't even notice that's how you drive it for a month
because if you take it out of somebody's driveway within a month they're gonna notice yeah you take
it from ford or even a car dealership yeah would notice that's like that's their inventory they
bought all that with money like this is a different they just made notice. That's like that's their inventory. They bought all that with money.
Like this is a they just made these.
So this is like a restaurant like that made a bunch of pies and you took one.
They're like, they won't miss that pie.
Right.
We took you took one and they're like, there's only a dozen.
We need a baker's.
We'll make one more than make one more.
I thought we had 13.
God damn it.
They scratch it off the list.
That's what I mean.
I think that's what he was going for.
That's genius. it's wild and the guy that he was arrested with edwin gonzalez apparently had been arrested been arrested a few times for stealing cars that's his gig that he does here um now at
the arraignment toons family and friends appeared in yonker city court to show their support i mean
the whole everybody showed up this isn't him this is court to show their support i mean the whole everybody
showed up this isn't him this is this is crazy you know i mean he has watch how that ends very
quickly by the way oh i'm sure because if but you have people will give you a pass on that's the
thing people will give you a pass uh like with that for one thing for one thing like that like oh it's got it's got to be
a mistake we've all known bernard we're all lives he's never done anything like this it's got to be
a mistake this is crazy and people will come to your aid but after like the third time they're
like um he just gets arrested a lot i'm not gonna put my name on yeah but also he stole it from the
factory that's yeah That's so crazy.
But like for him and his family and friends, he could say like, I didn't.
It was my friend.
He's been arrested for stuff before.
I was just trying to help him out.
And then he picked me up.
I thought it was his car.
This is the stuff he does.
Yeah.
Who knows?
And his friends go, oh, God, we got to help Bernard.
So during this arraignment with all the support from his family and friends uh his co
whatever this is the other guy that got arrested edwin gonzalez co-defendant i guess i was gonna
say co-conspirator but that's a little it's a little much for a stolen car maybe uh they didn't
you know kill the king of fucking england or anything this is right they don't have a chop
shop running where they're just uh on an assembly line pushing cars into their shop. No, no, that's the one thing.
He is held on $500 bail, old Edwin Gonzalez.
But Mr. Toon here is released on his own recognizance because he's got the support of everybody so much.
Now, the prosecutor described Toon and Gonzalez as both unemployed, but Toon interjected and told the judge,
excuse me, sir, I've been playing ball in Europe three years ago.
Right.
So there's that.
36 months ago.
I was there, though.
I did it.
I was in Venezuela.
I mean, that's something.
That is 72 pay periods of no paycheck.
That is unemployed.
That's what I would call unemployed.
Yeah.
A lot of people would while they were filing for unemployment.
Yeah.
They would be like, I'm unemployed.
Now, a friend of his or used to be a friend of his who is currently he was a basketball player who has played with tune.
But now he's a an 85, a Yonkers police officer named Joe Lecoq.
Hell, yeah.
L.E.C.O named joe lecoq hell yeah l-e-c-o-q lecoq that is a french cock if i've ever heard one that is beautiful joe lecoq that's like i want to call it lecoq so it's funny
but i don't want it to be like obvious i'll put a q on the end of it that'll make it oh lecoq. I get it. That is the shortest way you can say uncircumcised.
Yeah.
Lecoq.
With a Q.
Now, this dude said that Bernard's problems began all the way back when he used to play basketball with him in junior high.
He says that teachers and coaches bent the rules for him all the time oh he says that uh that teachers used to and coaches
bent the rules for him all the time because he was such a good player he says quote it's not just
bernard it's many athletes um so yeah he said that athletes should be taught to follow the same rules
as everyone else calm down this shit wouldn't happen the dick yeah chill out already yeah
that's fine so june 29th 1985 this, this is, you know, what, a couple months later after this, he is sentenced for this here.
He pleads guilty to a lesser charge.
They let him plead guilty.
The lesser charge is maybe my favorite charge in all of crime.
What is it?
Can I guess?
It's so funny.
Yeah, please, please.
Late return of a rental car.
No, that would be funny, too.
I don't know why I like this so much, because this is just if you steal a car and then you make a guilty plea on it that you can get this deal.
Quote, unauthorized use of a vehicle.
Okay, yeah.
That's one way to say it.
That makes it sound like you and your roommate were there and they were sleeping
and you just like took their keys and went to the store and came back that's unauthorized use of a
vehicle you meant to come back you live in the same place they didn't say you could use it but
you used it stealing it from the plant is way more than unauthorized use of it that's straight
you stole it you're not just they specifically told you you can't have it by putting it
on their property.
It's so not yours.
It's not in anybody's name.
Although, perhaps that's a good argument for just borrowing it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It's not anybody's car.
I didn't steal it.
It's really not anybody's yet.
Technically, it's in limbo.
So I was just going to take it, kick around with it for a while.
You could call it escrow.
That's all.
You know what?
I was test driving it for an extended period of time i thought about buying one but how does it hold up after a month these are the questions
nobody asks about the cars and questions i do ask so he pleads guilty to that he is sentenced to
you sir may fuck off uh three years probation and 100 hours of community service yeah that's the the plea deal uh this was in
lieu of uh uh third degree grand larceny so there you go now november 3rd 1985 okay so all that's
over it's all behind him hopefully you know everything's fine He's good now. You know, he's learned his lesson. But November 3rd, 1985, he's arrested again.
Yeah.
This is a little bit lower.
Rather than steal the whole car, he's arrested for stealing a radio out of a 1985 Saab.
He participated in that shit.
He did it.
He's by himself.
Yeah.
He steals a radio out of a Saab that's in a municipal parking lot.
So it's in like a city parking lot.
They should have had a sign, James.
I mean, yeah.
These radios are not for the taking.
No radio.
No radio.
Click.
Oh, that's the thing.
Back then, you put the no radio sign.
Yeah, you'd take it out.
85, that was a brand new car.
Yeah, you steal your own radio and then tell people no radio.
That's what you do. Oh, yeah. That's why they used to have the ones that you pull out and then take with you
right you gotta carry every carry the whole fucking deck with it on the put it up on the
table at lunch and shit and people are sitting there the handle used to like go into the face
yeah you put it down and put it in and take it out and pull it out this big giant thing
and then they made it so you just pop the faceplate off,
which was a thing.
And nobody ever took that thing off either.
No, you just leave it on.
Because that thing was a pain in the dick to get back on
once you took it off.
Also, once you have it, what are you going to do with it?
It's too big to put in your pocket,
so you just carry this fucking thing around,
and then you're going to end up leaving it somewhere,
and then you can't play your own stereo
because you forgot your faceplate.
It came with a little plastic box that you could put it in but it's and then now it's bigger than
the faceplate that's what i mean where do i put this now now it takes up more space unless i have
like a parka with a giant jacket or something i don't know where to put this goddamn thing and
now we now we bitch about that but our cell phone is just as big. Yeah, now it's huge. Goddamn enormous.
So he's arrested.
This is at 2.55 p.m.
So in the middle of the afternoon, he's trying to steal a radio out of it and brought daylight out of a fucking sob in a city place, which is ridiculous.
He's charged with grand larceny for trying to do this.
Same charge for the whole car?
The other one was grand larceny. It was grand. Yeah, it was grand larceny yeah for trying to do this same charge for the whole car the other one was uh
grand larceny eric was grand what was yeah it was grand larceny that was up for a third degree
grand larceny was the other one this is grand larceny criminal possession of stolen property
and criminal mischief these are three felonies he's being charged with so uh not great he's
arraigned and held on 1500 bail um the arrest occurred and uh here uh
he and another man uh obviously were arrested earlier in the year and uh so it's not looking
good for him so in 86 1986 i don't have the reports but he is arrested and convicted twice
in 1986 uh both for petty larceny he He's a thieving son of a bitch.
He's thieving it up pretty good now.
He's sent to jail for 90 days
for violation of his probation.
From that probation he got,
that was three years of probation.
August 14th, 1987.
He's riding the bus here in Yonkers.
So he doesn't even have a car now.
He's riding the bus.
He hasn't had a car yet
it's no shit and the the liberty lines bus heading south at north central avenue uh here was stopped
by police officer don weiss and uh he boards the bus to arrest tune based on a witness's description
um yeah he was charged with fourth-degree criminal mischief,
attempted larceny, and possession of burglary tools here.
A witness watched him attempt to break into a Saab
parked in a Conran's parking lot in Tarrytown here
and then fled when the car's alarm went off.
He watched him run away and get on a bus.
So the guy just wrote down the number of the bus,
called the cops, and the cops pulled him right off the bus.
He's the only guy who's 6'9". Yeah.
On the whole bus.
That's what he looks like.
Description, have everyone stand up.
Yeah.
The guy whose head is on the ceiling, that's the guy.
Arrest him.
The guy whose shoulders are pressed against firmly into the dome of the bus.
That's the thing.
firmly into the dome of the bus that's the thing if you're gonna do things like this you can't be this noticeable to be described you can't be this easily describable right you can't you can't be
six foot nine you can't weigh 400 pounds you can't have like a bright green mohawk these are all
yeah when you stand out in a crowd don't go criming remember like on the wire when naman
was out on the block there yeah
and bode told him cut that fucking ponytail off your head you dumb motherfucker they can make you
from down the block and then they arrested him because they saw his ponytail from down the block
and knew who he was that's what it is big puffy but that's the problem you gotta blend in yeah
you blend that's the point six nine you're not blending for shit. You ever been stopped?
You ever had a bus pulled over to identify you, James?
No, that's the thing. This might be lower than...
Even the Night Stalker, they didn't pull the bus over.
You know what I mean?
This might be lower than a McDonald's parking lot.
No shit.
And this, by the way, was right by his house, too, that he did this.
Right by where he lived, which wasn't...
Yeah, everybody knew him in the neighborhood, which wasn't good.ernard toon the guy who's six nine he's on that
bus so uh it's been it's been bad stuff here obviously for him he's not doing well um so uh
at this point too he he serves five months in jail for violation of his probation again here
so he's having a tough time, let's just say.
And it's right at this time that all the newspapers in Milwaukee
and everything start releasing 10 years later
after the 77 Warriors National Championship.
Oh, no.
The 77 Marquette Golden Warriors here.
So they go over all the members of the team.
Let's find out what they're up to, shall we?
Okay.
Let's see.
Al McGuire lives in Brookfield, works part-time for NBC,
and he has a busy speaking schedule.
Makes a shitload of money, basically, the coach.
He's doing great.
Hank Ramins.
Yeah, Hank Ramins, who came in as coach after that.
He retired because he's older.
He's in his 60s, and he lives in Milwaukee.
Rick Majerus, who is on the team, is a head basketball coach at Ball State University.
Butch Lee is attending law school at Fordham University in New York City.
Okay.
So he went back to get his degree.
Bo Ellis is an instructor with the Chicago Park District and an assistant basketball coach at Collins High School.
So he's making his way into another career.
Jim Boylan is an assistant basketball coach at Michigan High School. So he's making his way into another career. Jim Boylan is an assistant
basketball coach at Michigan State University. That's a good job. Jerome Whitehead plays for
the Golden State Warriors. That's impressive. Gary Rosenberger is a senior account executive
with Mortgage Insurance Corporation in Minneapolis. Here, Ulyss Payne is a Wisconsin Securities Commissioner.
So that's something.
Craig Butram is an accounts manager with Schneider Communications in Milwaukee.
Robert Byrd lives in Milwaukee and works in real estate.
Bill Neary lives in Milwaukee.
Jim Dudley lives in Racine.
And Bernard Toon is unemployed and lives in yonkers
new york listen mom is unemployed did they have they couldn't just put lives in yonkers new york
must they put also he's unemployed and don't leave your car window open by the way yeah
put it make sure to put a no radio sign in your window if you've got a sob he will take parts off of it so april 1988 unemployed living in yonkers unlike a lot of the guys on the team here uh he is
arrested again here he's arrested in white plains and charged with attempted grand larceny and
criminal possession of burglars tools and criminal mischief as well here he is arrested while trying to attempting to steal a
car stereo he's caught in the act of trying to steal a car stereo by a police officer and he
is arrested uh again here yeah not great that he spotted crouching between two cars at the main
main uh main merit uh maritime garage so this is a what he does is he likes to
do this in garages and two you could just see his head popping up while he's crouched down between
the two cars because he's six foot nine this is terrible of all things he's stealing car stereos
this is the like this is low this is low uh he was trying to steal the stereo out of a
brand new porsche that was in there he's going to the high end cars yep the alarm went off and
people came and he just tried to hide between two cars yeah crouched down and they they found him
there he's uh so he's been arrested a whole bunch of times here for this shit now. This is what he does, apparently.
This is ridiculous.
This is like you wouldn't expect this at all.
It's like this is like not even, you know, Keith McCants and people getting arrested for drugs or things like that. This is like literally trying to fucking steal, repeatedly trying to steal car stereos.
It's shocking.
It's fucking shocking is what I have to say about it.
It's surprising and it's shocking and it's really surprising but not as surprising jimmy as the sales yeah oh
the sales at this time are amazing here going on oh they're so good here let's get into this this
is uh what do we got here oh this is great we got uh let's say you're gonna stay in okay you're
gonna stay in tonight um this should be from 85 i
have my sales in the wrong place but these are sales from 85 not from 88 so uh anyway we have
you're gonna stay in well you can get yourself here this is for your car you can get a digital
amfm cassette stereo watch out because bernard will steal it for 299 that's why he's stealing
them that's why he's stealing that. That's why he's stealing it.
That shit's expensive.
That's why I put that in here.
You can get a record player here,
a Technics record player for 69 bucks.
That's a deal.
Which now they're expensive.
Yeah.
Here's a car equalizer for $79, a Jet Sound.
We have a car tape deck also,
a Sony cassette deck for 109 bucks bucks so let's see what he's doing
here he's stealing things uh what else we got cd players because they just came out right here
349 dollars for a cd player holy shit a sharp remote control vcr 299 bucks
for a fucking vcr electronics manronics, man. They crush.
Oh, my God.
A camera.
Panasonic autofocus camera.
This is the big shoulder mount deal here.
$599.
It's on sale.
Suggested retail, $1,000.
My God.
And then finally here, what is this?
A 19-inch color TV.
Yep.
19-inch, $55 559 dollars and 95 cents in 80s money yeah in 80s money and then
a radar detector in case you want to have that stolen out of your car by bernard as well 199
bucks for that okay so that's if you're doing that you want to stay home get you that you're
gonna you're gonna get your get your computer on here.
There's some computers on sale, too.
IBM PC system.
This is $1,799 for this.
For a computer.
Back then.
For a shit computer.
Let's see.
The IBM PC XT computer here.
This has a 10 megabyte hard disk.
10 megabyte hard disk. Now, that's nothing, basically a 10 megabyte hard disk 10 megabyte hard disk now that's nothing basically
10 megabyte two thousand seven hundred ninety nine dollars
holy shit what a relic so all right you want to get you're you're tired of this you have no more
no room for a computer in your house you need need a new place. Yeah. So we have some apartments for you.
Look at this ad, Jimmy.
Come over here.
I'll turn the monitor.
What?
Tired of roommates?
It's got two guys boxing as the little clip art next to it.
Tired of roommates?
Tired of physically having fisticuffs with your roommates?
I've had roommates.
I don't think I've ever fought them.
Not with gloves on, probably.
These guys are throwing down.
This is outside of Fort Worth, Texas, this is.
All the stuff I'm going to tell you is outside of Fort Worth.
Oak Hollow Apartments.
Enjoy country living among hundreds of oak trees.
Oh, boy.
Oh, my.
You have that.
Family and adult sections.
What?
I don't know what that means.
That sounds disgusting.
What does that mean? I don't know. You can that sounds disgusting what does that mean i don't
know you can be nude and have your balls out in one section we got a naked fight section
yeah naked boxing over here uh will be you will be oiled up yeah so there's that
now uh one bedrooms from 240 bucks a month that's a deal holy shit that's really fucking cheap man
and depressing yeah well let's
say that's that sounds good but you're looking for something a little cheaper yeah yeah that
sounds nice but you can't afford the adult section you're looking for something a little lower than
that you can move to the whiskey flats mobile home park oh my that is from now on what a trailer is called.
It's a whiskey flat.
A whiskey flat.
Whiskey flats mobile home park.
Bunch of these whiskey.
Don't put whiskey right in the title of this place.
At least they're not beating around the bush or hiding anything.
That's exactly what happens there.
$150 monthly rental.
Water, sewer, and garbage paid.
Large lots. 40 foot by 100 foot landscaping after setup 20 minutes to fort worth uh including club membership to clear fork country club oh oh boy
featuring swimming outdoors skating dancing fishing miniature golf and a picnic area yeah
holy shit and also you can can go country club living.
They're calling this here.
Completely furnished model shows the natural beauty of a home right on the golf course if you want to move there.
That's good.
Award winning bath with canopied pamper area.
Gross.
Oh my.
Romantic fireplace between bathing salon and master bedroom.
Bathing salon?
That's what you're calling the bathroom now?
Call it the shitter.
This is a Texas.
It's next to the whiskey.
It's a Texas trailer park.
It's connected to the Whiskey Flats mobile home ad.
Literally connected to it.
So you got everything set up at home.
Now you want to step out.
Head on down to Cavender's Boot City.
Oh, right.
Oh, shit, man.
Some new boot goofing happening here.
We got snake and elephant boots for $149.95.
Elephant boots?
Is that real?
You got to shine them with their jizz probably.
Well, why would you want elephant boots?
I don't know.
These are genuine elephant.
I didn't think you could. I don't know. The skin looks like an 80-year-old lady's elbow. Why would you want elephant boots? I don't know. These are genuine elephant. I didn't think you could.
I don't know.
The skin looks like an 80-year-old lady's elbow.
Why would you want that?
I don't know.
Lizard boots, $129.
You can have that.
Ostrich boots on sale, though, $349.95.
Those are expensive.
They are.
Genuine ostrich.
World's largest selection of ostrich boots, it says here.
So you got that.
Get over there, Dangle.
Tony Llama exotic belts are half price hell yeah and uh short sleeve western shirts 7.99 yeah and all panhandle slim short sleeve shirts are only 16.99 panhandle slim that's a nickname
of a murderer probably from the fuck is by the time we're done with
that show someone's name will be panhandle slim on there you fucking know that shit and uh and
let's say you're you want to go out you want to look your best obviously you want to take a lady
out of the town something like that but you're having a hard time finding clothes because you're
quote extra short and stout well too short and fat for clothes.
Head on down to Mark's.
Yeah, Mark's.
They got you covered.
Slut pants.
Quote, the exclusive short men's store.
This is like Thornton Mellon's Big and Fat over here.
We specialize exclusively in short, extra short, and short stout sizes.
This is so insulting.
From now through July 6th, save 20% to 25% on our entire stock of walk shorts, swimsuits, sport shirts, summer sport coats, and casual slacks.
Very tiny.
All of them.
Cheap and tiny.
They should always be 25% off.
They're tiny.
I bet I fit in about 60% of these clothes.
Yeah, I think maybe they're meant for you.
Or it's 1985.
You all get dressed up.
You've gone to Mark's Short and Stout.
You've got your best gear on.
You've got your new stereo installed, your radar detector in.
You're going to go to the movies and let's see what's playing.
Fantastic.
What is playing in 1985 let's see at the bowen 8 in arlington you could see cocoon you could see life force yeah uh you could see rambo part two not bad if you're interested in
that you could see the goonies all right that's playing fletch is playing all right there at the
time saint elmo's fire oh yeah you want to see all the brat pack guys beverly hills cop is still That's playing. Fletch is playing there at the time. St. Elmo's Fire.
Oh, yeah.
If you want to see all the Brat Pack guys.
Beverly Hills Cop is still playing here. Fantastic.
Which is fantastic.
And then finally, the scariest of all, Return to Oz is also playing there, which we've discussed.
That's the one you saw.
Remember?
We just discussed that.
Apparently it came out.
I saw it when I was six and it scared the living shit out of me.
So there you go.
Also playing is Daryl.
Yes.
But like D-A-R-Y-L.
Yeah.
Or yeah.
Is it periods?
Isn't that a robot?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's Daryl.
Yeah.
And then there's the Midnight Movie Express you can go to.
And they have like old shit.
They have Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Hell yeah.
Dawn of the Dead.
Yeah.
Pink Floyd, The Wall.
This is where it's filled with weed smoke in this theater.
So much long hair in here.
So much.
Phantasm, Nightmare on Elm Street.
Not bad.
And then St. Elmo's Fire.
I think they misunderstood it.
St. Elmo's Sun.
They burned down a church.
They're selling St. Elmo's and they set it ablaze because it's a satanic ritual.
It's got fire on the title.
It's going to be scary.
You've seen Firestarter.
Oh, shit.
We messed up.
Yeah.
So, yeah, also playing around that time, Care Bears, Pale Rider, Prizzy's Honor.
One theater has Brewster's Millions, which I fucking love.
That movie was great i love
richard pryor um so yeah all this is going on here we got that uh and then i saw return to
oz by the way the here is the ad for it now tell me if this says this this ad says bring your
children you're they're gonna love it not this will scare the living shit out of your six-year-old in his own living room.
Look at this, Jimmy.
Oh, my.
It looks great.
It looks.
It says Walt Disney Pictures.
It does.
Return to Oz.
First of all, that'll tell you back then.
If there's one thing you must do this summer, it's return to Oz.
And it's got a picture of little girl Dorothy with her little bucket.
Yeah.
But she's kind of scary looking.
Yeah.
But in the article, it looks like maybe she's just like running or something.
If you don't know that there's some fucking horrible shit in this, that looks cute.
You can see the picture that she's standing on the yellow brick road, which is all fucked up and all.
You see, it's all broken.
But you don't realize that in the ad really unless you know so it just looks like oh
it's the disney movie and i love wizard of oz and then you go there and you scare your children so
that's there as well they have ratings for all these movies by the way these are audience reactions
of polls here um they give rambo the highest of everything that's playing. Rambo 2 is the highest honor of an A.
Really?
In the A- category, Lady Hawk, remember with Matthew Broderick?
No.
Which is kind of a good movie.
Gotcha and Daryl are all in there.
B+, Friday the 13th, A New Beginning.
So I think that was part five, if I'm not mistaken.
The Last Dragon, View to a Kill, which was James Bond. 13th a new beginning so i think that was part five if i'm not mistaken uh the the last dragon
view to a kill which was james bond fletch is in there is with the b pluses and the goonies
uh brewster's millions only scores a b along with desperately seeking susan which was the madonna
that was a great movie it was a great i loved that it was actually good which is weird because
she made a couple movies that weren't bad and then just didn't make movies anymore, which is strange because Who's That Girl wasn't terrible back in the day either.
That was kind of Desperately Seeking Susan was like a big fucking movie.
It was a good movie.
It was a huge hit.
And in A League of Their Own, she was in great movies.
Yeah, she was in good stuff.
I mean, but those were two that she carried that she was the starring.
And then she married Guy Ritchie and what did he pull her out of movies?
I don't know.
She was married to Sean Penn back then.
Yeah, that too.
Yeah.
Police Academy 2 gets a B minus.
I mean, you know, same as Prizzy's Honor.
Let's see what Jack Nicholson thinks of that.
And also the same as Porky's Revenge.
Not Porky's.
Porky's Revenge.
C plus goes to Gymkata,
which has turned into a huge joke
of that movie is over years.
And Perfect, which I believe is Jamie Lee Curtis.
Oh, okay.
It's about her boobs.
And John Travolta, if I'm not mistaken.
So there you go.
There's those.
And then finally, this is the strangest ad I've seen, okay?
Yeah.
These are all together.
There's three ads.
I'll show you quickly just so you can
see the structure of them see that one ads this way and then two ads are stacked right next to it
all touching each other's borders okay one ad is for pizza buy one get same size free at patron's
pizza okay that's one ad directly above that is riverside drive-in triple x so big triple x
letters call two movies daily call for titles privacy of your car it says in other words you
can jerk off here you're allowed to jerk off here because of your car is what it says so to drive in
that's there and then directly next to those two things is a picture of
a sweet sweet little girl with her hands under her chin like this and it says a children's model
student search directly next to the like it could jizz on her from where it is this triple x thing
it's fucking insane it's for barbizon school of modeling of course or texas it's fucking hilarious sebastian mascalco is the
best barbizon story it's so funny uh so barbizon so uh yeah so for a complimentary copy of the
barbizon modeling book how about get it away from the fucking jerk-off theater so that's what's
going on the guys at the bogo pizza place have got to be like really we paid
we paid money i mean the triple x draws your eye but this kid's a bummer
this kid's a fucking bummer next to me look at her she's just sitting there all happy looking
i don't want to jerk off for you pizza you can put the jerk off theater with the other ones on
its separate page nope just all that's right next to this shit. It's remarkable how, look, it's just, I mean, look at how sweet.
Yeah.
Right next to the triple.
It's right.
It's right there.
It's an inch.
Yeah.
Her head is an inch away from the sign that says triple X.
It's just not right.
Also, creeps that are reading for triple X advertisements also see the word free in giant
letters and then a child right next to it oh free blonde child okay
because i'm a creep and i jerk off in my car in the theater yeah it's like anyone who goes to
jerk off in their car all bets are off at that whoever designed those three ads together is a
fucking genius or an asshole i'm not judging anybody but public masturbation is a sign of bigger problems that's all i'm saying
so uh may 6th 1988 uh he is arrested again god damn it bernard uh yeah this is in terrytown
yeah and they charge him with breaking into a car at the terrytown hilton hotel that's a
so um yeah 130 94 glenwood avenue in Yonkers is his address at this point.
10-21 a.m.
Wow.
So he gets up, sets an alarm, takes a shower, eats some breakfast, and then goes out to steal.
This is his job, James.
He does this during business hours.
He should try doing it in the dark.
That would probably be a more successful time to steal, I'm thinking.
Right?
He's thinking they're not going to be expecting it at 10-21.
They're not expecting it
because everyone can fucking see you doing it that's why it's unexpected you're six foot nine
in the middle of a parking lot it's less unexpected than uh less believable i can't
believe that shit is happening right now i am shocked by it it's more shocking than the sales
here charged with fourth degree grand larceny um he's also had has a warrant as well of course he
does at the time so yeah there's that so there's been the white plains incident and then he's
arrested here and then also on the warrant from the white plains incident here yeah uh a terrytown
detective said that tune had been sought out by terrytown police since february 22nd when he broke
into the car at the Hilton and he
took a radio cassette player and a wallet out of the car.
That's a score.
That's too much.
Break into a car.
That's a lot.
You know, most of the time these guys are doing this stuff and they've got like some
sort of addiction.
You know what I mean?
Or so that's the thing.
He's never with drugs.
Nothing.
This it's strange.
Yeah.
Taking radios.
Keith McCants.
It would have been radios and a crack pipe that he threw threw at the cop because he did that so this is different uh he's returned to county jail because of his
warrant and there he goes now february 22nd 1989 uh he is uh at this point he still has not gone
back to marquette to complete his degree at all. He, he only needs,
I want to,
I have the exact number of credit hours,
but it's like 20 credit hours he needs left.
He has a hundred something.
He needs like 20.
He just hasn't gone back to get it.
Uh, cause he's busy obviously.
Um,
so,
uh,
yeah,
he ends up,
uh,
here.
He breaks into a 1984 Audi and takes a radio and is arrested again here.
So that's not wonderful, obviously.
Then he ends up being arrested again on Central Park Avenue here, 2550 Central Park Avenue.
While on routine patrol, police officers say they spotted him breaking into an Audi again.
Another Audi.
They must be easy to break into at that point.
It's Audi, Saabs, and Porsches. It's high-end cars that he's going after. He's going for those. spotted him breaking into an Audi again, another Audi. They must be easy to break into at that point.
It's Audis, Saabs, and Porsches.
It's high-end cars that he's going after.
He's going for those.
He was getting in the car and trying to remove the radio from the dashboard here at the time.
He is held on petty larceny and held on that, obviously.
So not doing well.
February 1990, this was, I mean, those were two in a week.
He had those two.
February 1990.
He is arrested again for stealing another radio out of another Audi.
So he's got a thing that he does here.
Yeah.
Also, 1990.
He's convicted of something else. Also, it is fourth degree criminal mischief and unauthorized use of a motor vehicle again.
So that's a plea down from stealing a car is what that is.
He stole a car and they let him plead.
They're like, Jesus, him again.
Fuck me.
For the love of Christ.
Can't he do something?
Is there like a clinic he can put on with some kids or some shit?
Can we get him?
Fuck, dude.
Stop.
I really want to stop stealing shit and playing fucking sight of people at 1030 in the morning, you asshole.
I really want every time he's ever attempted to steal a car stereo to be caught.
He's caught this many times.
He had to have gotten away a lot, right?
Or is it just...
Oh, he's either the worst car stereo thief that's ever walked the earth or he's stolen
hundreds of stereos and gets caught every once in a while because he's stealing them so often
or he just saves it up he's like i'm gonna do it i'm gonna get away with it this time and then he's
fuck again they keep catching me so upset so i mean at this point at this point, he gets out of jail and he's just trying not to steal shit, I think.
It's got to be difficult for him to walk around in his hometown.
And most people just don't know who the fuck he is anymore.
Who's that tall guy?
And then the people who do know who he is, that's even worse.
Because they know how far it's fallen.
They know how far it's come.
So he just doesn't know what to do with himself.
He really doesn't.
And he's just walking, wandering, and he sees a car stereo.
He's got to keep himself from stealing that.
And he does for one reason only.
That's because he smells something delicious in the air.
Delicious.
And he opens the door to a place,
and it's the shawarma man standing there before him.
And he says,
How is it you've come to arrive here?
Why are you here?
You go to the cut the net thing and you have on head.
I'm five foot three.
I shop at place for short stout people.
You, very tall, very tall.
They give you money for tallness so i i don't know why
you do these things why you do why you come in no no no for you they don't make for you no no
no i do not know i'm not no science say you see science say close because i lock up car very tight
no i have keys here i do not leave in ignition no No, you go. Okay, I make for you.
I make one thing for you, but you have to pay, though.
You know, not with cars.
I will not accept car stereo as payment.
No, you go.
You go.
Sign say close.
You go now.
Sign say no radio.
No, the sign say no radio.
Go, go.
And close.
Yes, both.
Get out.
No lamb for you.
Go, poof.
And in a cloud of shawarma and anger, he's gone.
And Bernard is very confused.
And hungry.
And still hungry.
But he did hear there was a stereo in the car, so he might end up coming out on top in this scenario.
Round one.
Yum.
Round one, Bernard.
around one yeah around one bernard so late 1990 comes sentencing for all the shit that he's got to do come forth that he's been pleading to and the judge here says you sir may fuck off
sentences him to 14 months at the correctional facility at valhalla in westchester oh my so
get some actual time i mean he got five months before, but he got out very quickly.
Here he gets 14 months.
He does less than half of it, though.
He's released in late March 1991 for good behavior.
He's been very good in jail.
He's not an asshole.
That's the thing.
He's not a guy who's like, yeah, fuck you, and then he throws a crack pipe at you.
He's embarrassed by what's happened to him.
He just can't stop doing it.
So it's bad.
The paper talks to him and he says, quote,
I'm looking for employment right now, taking it easy.
Yes.
That's like Dookie saying I'm outdoors now on the wire when he's homeless.
That's the same thing.
It's very sad.
I'm looking for employment in car
windows do you see i'm looking for a job possibly someone in there will pop up and go i got a job
for you and you'll be like awesome is there possibly a job as a car thief or or a car stereo
thief available is it is there do you do they do stereos like on payment plans is there a stereo
repo man because i think i'd be excellent at that i can get it right back for you he said that his mother is very sick in north carolina now and that worries him a lot
and he says quote if i do a story talking about the newspaper saying he's just he's just looking
for work he doesn't want to talk he says if i do a story i want it to be about something real
positive not dwelling on the past but what i've experienced from it okay um marquette
university they checked with them at this point he has 105 credit hours which is 23 short of a
degree okay it would take him less than two semesters to finish but he never went back and
finished wow so that's not great 1991 he is arrested in paramus new jersey and convicted
of criminal possession of stolen property again.
So, I mean, this is like right after two months after he got out of jail.
This happens April 21st, 1993.
Again, here, this time he is charged with another felony.
He is.
It's a Saturday afternoon, broad daylight.
He's accused of stealing a radio from a car parked at Bloomingdale's in White Plains.
So, yeah, White Plains police captain Ray Nagel said Toon and an accomplice were seen driving around the store's parking lot.
The police said they stopped beside an Audi and tried to steal the radio before they went to a Jeep Cherokee and stole its radio instead.
So they couldn't get into the Audi there.
They said the pair smashed a vent window to enter the Jeep.
A lock on the Audi was picked, and the dashboard was damaged.
Wow.
So they're doing that.
This is Toon and a guy named Eric Gillespie, who are roommates, apparently.
Said they're both of 130 Glenwood Avenue Yonkers,
so apparently they're roommates.
Tired of your roommate?
Steal stereos with them here.
They're charged with third degree criminal mischief, a felony, petty larceny, fourth degree criminal mischief, and attempted petty larceny.
So, yeah, they spotted them about 2 p.m. and watched them as they did this.
This is a 30-something year old man.
37, 36 year old man.
That's embarrassing.
And this 37-year-old roommate.
Gross.
Are being watched by fucking security guards
casing Bloomingdale's parking lot
and then catching them doing shit.
Bringing into Jeep Cherokees.
Yep, they said security kept them under surveillance
while city police arrived and blocked off the exit.
Jesus Christ, that is fucking sad man that's
very sad that's april 93 if if it if it's my jeep that the stereo got stolen out of i'm pissed at
security for seeing them try to break into an audi and then not stopping them breaking into my jeep
yeah apparently they were like oh they're doing it let's go there and then by the time while they
were on the way there they broke into into a Jeep, too. Got it.
Okay.
That's how it works. It was like they were watching them, I guess, unless you were right there.
It was like right next door to the Audi, I guess, the Jeep.
So this day, on July 26, 1993, he's arrested again.
He's arrested by a Greenberg police officer after a computer check found that he's wanted by Harrison police on an outstanding warrant.
This particular day, he is stopped because he's accused of taking a radio from a car.
And so that was the case in Harrison as well, was a radio in a car.
He's being held on $2,000 bail, and that's that.
So he is a fucking idiot here.
He's later going to be convicted of seventh- degree criminal possession of a controlled substance later in 1993 and fourth degree criminal mischief.
So this is the first time in eight years of solid crime that he has been arrested with any kind of drugs, which is interesting.
Now, speaking of interesting here 1996 okay it's almost
like um people with like uh child stars like child stars will be like famous and everybody loves them
and then there's a period of time where they're a joke and everybody laughs at them and then once
they're like 28 then nostalgia comes around and then people want to see them again right
so they can have a career again see neil patrick harris yeah you know what i'm saying like shit
like that happens um that's almost what happens with like athletes who fuck up yeah they come out
and they fuck up and everybody wants to help them and then they keep fucking up and everybody gets
goes away from and they're like oh they're disaster. And if enough time goes by, people are like, that guy's still a fucking disaster.
We should help him.
You know what I mean?
It's been like 10 years.
We should probably help him.
I mean, we could have helped him five years ago, but I wanted to stay away from him at that point.
He was pretty gross.
But now it's been too long.
Now we really need to help him.
So finally, 96, a friend of his named Jeff Bosticff bostick gets him a job and this seems like
the perfect thing for him coaching midnight basketball perfect perfect these are kids that
are on the street that he can fucking tell them shit and you know relate shit to them and talk
to them and he's a he played with dr j for's sake. He's got a national championship. This is perfect, the perfect thing for him.
There's a championship game one week here, and they showcased their all-star game after that.
And they had an all-star game where the men's all-stars over 17, they were playing the coaches.
It was them versus the coaches.
And they said that the West all-star men will play the Midnight League coaches here.
The coaches team will feature Bernard Toon.
So he's playing an actual, this is a basketball game.
We haven't heard a basketball thing from him in 14 years.
Does he still remember?
This is good.
Yeah, it'll be him, the program manager, Jim Bostic.
Will Smith will be playing there.
I don't think that Will Smith, although maybe.
It might.
It might be.
You never know.
Butch Harris, Louis Madison, all these different people are going to be there.
It's a big deal, though, this thing, apparently.
But then he gets booted from the Midnight Basketball program.
Really?
Yeah, he fucks up pretty good apparently this bostic guy that runs the program and is an old friend of bernard's right he's very
disappointed with him tell me a couple months later well he says that toon had the talent and
family and community support even when he got into trouble but he says this went all the way up
till this last year when i got him a job as a coach with the program.
But he said even at midnight basketball, he heard, quote, rumblings of problems with tune.
Then he says this.
OK, this is disturbing because there's kids around and we don't know what he's talking about.
Quote, this was a perfect opportunity for him.
But I heard things which were disturbing to me and he wouldn't elaborate on.
Oh, no. for him but i heard things which were disturbing to me and he wouldn't elaborate on oh no when you kick a guy out from coaching around kids and then you say i heard things that were disturbing and
you won't say anything else we all think the same right you know what i mean so i don't know if
that's true but it's we all know what we're fucking thinking right now and it's not okay
so um yeah bostick says that this story sends an ominous message to children because most do not have the talent and privileges that Toon ended up having.
And he's still fucked up.
So he's like, you tell regular kids, this guy had everything in the world.
People kissing his ass, silver-haired, middle-aged white men falling out of the fucking ceiling, protecting him.
He had the talent.
He played on the same team as Dr. J.
And he's a fuck-up.
He'll steal your goddamn mom's radio out of her car when she drops you off here.
What chance do you have?
That's how much harder you have to imagine how hard you have to work, which is a good
lesson.
And you're not even going to make it in the NBA.
And you're not.
You have no talent.
You're talentless.
Yeah.
So 1996, later on that year, he is arrested again for fourth-degree criminal mischief and fifth-degree possession of stolen property.
Again, so not wonderful.
1997 comes around.
He's going to have a couple arrests that year.
A couple of good ones.
He is arrested for fourth-degree criminal mischief and resisting arrest.
And that's what he's convicted of as well in there.
And let's see here. Number two, the the arrest i don't know what that was number two he is accused of breaking into
a car in the toys r us parking lot toys are toys toys r us parking lot they'll be they'll be right
out and you're gonna break in now you're gonna break in their car while someone's in there getting a fucking nintendo game thinking of a barbie
96 ninja turn to get us genesis game for christ's sake i was thinking 87 before but it's 96 now
guess what time it is 2 10 p.m shocking um there they found him in his he has a car now
in his toy 1995 oh i'm sorry no no, he doesn't have a car.
A 37-year-old Bronx resident came out and found him, found Toon in his car.
Found him in his 1995 Toyota, removing a $5,000 stereo system from it.
Oh, my.
He had like a whole system in there, and Toon was sitting in the car disassembling it.
Like, fucking, hey, excuse me.
Yeah.
That takes so much work.
This guy ended up tackling him as he tried to flee and holding him down until police arrived.
So this is fucking hilarious.
Terrible, but hilarious.
He's charged with fourth-degree grand larceny, third-degree criminal mischief, both felonies, and he's held in lieu of $2, but hilarious. He's charged with fourth degree grand larceny, third degree criminal mischief, both felonies.
And he's held in lieu of twenty five hundred dollars bail.
He's going to walk away with all that.
That's it's fucking crazy.
Shit to carry down the street.
He's just going to take off with it.
His friend James Bostic again.
But Bostic played with him at Gorton High.
And then Bostic also played for the the pistons in 78 and 79 this guy
so uh and he coached basketball at iona college and some high school teams he said there was a
time when there wasn't a bigger name than bernard toon and yonkers is what he says and he says that
uh he says quote bernard's story is a sad one because it's a it's a success story gone bad he said quote bernard had the world
in the palm of his hands which is it's our kind of guy and he also had a it's our kind of guy
he also had a stereo system in the palm of his hands unfortunately um then he says quote after
a while it's not an arrest anymore it becomes suicide oh so he's just a fuck up man he's a fuck up right
after that 1999 uh the i want to say the new york times or new york post one of the big new york
papers released the uh new york state all century team for high school basketball stop this all
century a century all century team includes gus williams of of Mount Vernon, who was, let's see, drafted by the Golden State Warriors and 20th overall and was named to the All-Rookie team in 1976 and was part of the 79 NBA Championship Seattle Supersonics.
Earl Tatum, who ended up, he had a career at Marquette and also played for five NBA teams.
We have Carlton Scooter-McCray,
who was a small point guard,
but he ended up playing with Louisville,
I believe, in the ABA.
And he had a serious knee injury,
but also played with Cleveland and Seattle in the NBA,
despite that.
Then there's Elton Brand, who played forever.
He's from Peekskill, New York.
He was the number one.
He played for Duke.
I think he was the number one overall draft pick.
I think you're right.
He was a monster.
Those four guys and Bernard Toon, oft-ar now uh it's out that it's he's got
drug problems and that's his issue drug issue car stereo stealer that's the starting five of all
time in all time all century new york team yep holy shit right next to elton brand and a bunch
of guys that were in the nba so i after, the only thing I could find on him was in 2002,
there's an appeal case where he's appealing something that he is convicted for jumping bail in the third degree,
criminal mischief in the fourth degree,
criminal possession of stolen property in the fourth degree, and pettit larceny.
So that's what he's up for here.
in the fourth degree and pedant larceny so that's what he's up for here and he is he's convicted and he is this uh this appeal they he uh the defendant's counsel there's no non-frivolous
issues that could be raised on appeal and uh the council's application to withdraw as counsel is
granted conviction affirmed you sir may keep fucking off and that's the last i heard of him okay about 19
years ago so we can't find him anywhere you just stopped stealing shit i don't know that's what i
mean or either either that or people just stopped reporting it because they just forgot who he was
the reporters that were up didn't realize that this bernard toon guy that keeps getting arrested
for car stereos played for marquette in philly? I don't know. That might be it.
Also, car stereos stopped being a thing.
You know what I mean?
People aren't really installing those anymore.
No, they really are.
It's very minimal.
Whatever plays off your phone.
Yeah.
Well, now factory stereos are better than a system from 20 years ago.
They're terrific.
And they sound so much crisper and clearer.
Oh, yeah.
They're nice.
They're meant for your car.
Can't get enough?
Well, you could get on.
They have those.
You can find one of those untucked Marquette jerseys.
Oh, cool.
Pretty fucking cool.
Yeah.
You can get one of those.
Or just leave your car window down, and that's like the bat signal.
You leave your car window down, and eventually Bernard will show up at your house to take your stereo into his possession, even if it is just a factory install.
He can't help it.
He'll be there.
Don't worry.
It's like carrots for the Easter bunny.
It's the tune signal, they call it.
You just put it out, and he comes.
And that, everybody, is Bernard Tune and the crazy-ass story, I would say.
Just a wild-ass ass interesting fucking story. Is it James?
Is this more depressing to go number one overall and then have a horrible pill addiction and then wash out of the NFL where you're you're you're it's close to make money or doing speaking engagements about what not to do.
Is it sadder for that or or this?
This is sad.
This is very much sad this is horrible because this isn't getting arrested even for anything that you're like look i have a how do you say look i have
a problem stealing car stereos you just keep getting arrested for coke you can be like look
it's a disease and i have a problem and i'm going to rehab and i'm trying and i'm blah blah blah
it's affecting my life worse than anybody else you don't wake up and everybody i need an alpine that's what i mean this is a different fucking story now you don't shake for ruckford fosgate
no it's gonna happen i need a bows man i need some speakers i need a subwoofer motherfucker
this is unbelievable so but like if he would successfully steal the stereo sell it and then
buy drugs with it and get busted for drugs we'd be having a different conversation but he doesn't even get to the fucking point of buying the drugs
he's still stuck on stealing the stereo getting arrested for that is he trying to work his way
way up from the scummy shit like trying to sell those to get the crack addiction i just can't i
can't get past the the stealing i can't i know i can't even fence it yet scummy award we need a new scummy award for
saddest fucking conviction just like lowest grade crime committed and i think he would win that by
far saddest criminal life this it's easy worst criminal career of all time it's terrible he had
a shit nba career and a worst criminal career pathetic not good so that everybody is bernard
toon if you like that tell us about it
tell the world about it get on itunes or apple podcast that purple icon whatever the fuck they
want to call it this week and give us a review five stars would be very helpful doesn't matter
what you say you can stay say what kind of stereo you would like to have stolen by bernard toon
and we will accept that also you can go to shut up and
give me murder.com right now and you will find tickets for the virtual live show yes for crime
and sports on may the 6th and it'll be available for 72 hours after that virtual live show uh the
subject of the show will be suge knight who obviously has a well-documented criminal record of i think he's
in jail for a murder at this point he's very hateable james um he's a bet when you hear the
details because he had a good pr team like we said a lot of oprah was saying what an inspirational
businessman and shit he was at one point i'm not even fucking kidding while he was like ruthlessly fucking you know savaging people
and having people beaten and and horrible things he's he was a fucking bad person dangling vanilla
ice off of a fucking patio well we've all wanted to do that we did he did the vanilla ice i don't
care about i'll let that one slide but a whole bunch of like just like producers and shit where
he wanted somebody's contract or something.
So he'd just go beat the guy up and threaten to kill him.
Have a bunch of guys hold guns to his head until he signed over an artist.
And then he'd be like, all right.
Like shit like that.
It's fucking insane, man.
And that's just the beginning.
Then we're going to get into Biggie and Tupac and all that shit.
Oh, my God.
It's going to be fucking crazy.
That's it.
Shut up and give me murder.com right now for your tickets.
We can't wait.
Also on there, we have all the tickets for our rescheduled live show should be up.
And fingers crossed, we're hoping these are going to happen.
First couple are at the end of this year, but I think those are all sold out anyway.
There might be some for the New York show.
Outside of that, I think Boston might be sold out or close to it.
New York's being moved, too, because the venue had damage. Yeah, that's right think Boston might be sold out or close to it and whatever. New York's being moved
too because the venue had damage.
That's right. Yeah, we had to move.
That's the thing too. Some of these venues have
issues, so we had to move that.
So get on there. Shut up and give me murder.com
right now and check all that out. Follow us on social
media as well for all the
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Check all that shit out.
And Patreon.com you want to check out as well.
Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports.
We have had such good stuff.
We did the sports movies last time and jail reviews.
This time we are going to do the college admissions scandal that ensnnared aunt becky there which is hilarious
because when you hear about how these people who are have everything in the world or just like
how can i just take more even though i didn't earn it how can i how can i is that possible
i need my phone i need my useless child to have more than uh somebody who's worked their
fucking ass off their whole life
dude the transcripts of these phone calls with these people are just insane man it's fucking wild and what they were doing was you know pretending to be athletes so we have there's
a sports connection to it that's going to be wild and then the other bonus episode is going to be on
cult deprogramming so we are going to talk about how people deprogram from cults or how they attempt to deprogram
people from cults and
whether that's a good or a bad thing.
Is that fucking with someone? Because I've heard people say that
too, like it's a bad thing. So we'll look
into it and we'll see. Wiping your hard drive
is not a positive thing. That's bad. Everything
goes. You can check for yourself
but it's all going to be there this week
at
patreon.com slash Crime and Sports.
And you're going to be a producer, which means that we love you, number one.
And you're going to get a shout out because we appreciate you.
And Jimmy will try his hardest to get your name right and fuck it up because we do love you.
So that's how that's going to work.
And if you just want to donate and also be a producer hear your name and just have great karma you can do that over at paypal as well using our email address crime in
sports at gmail.com that said jimmy i need to i need to feel warm and cuddly inside so hit me with
the list of my most favorite fucking people on earth right now this week's executive producers
are sammy weir he turned 75 james he
was part of the 82nd airborne division and his son josh uh reminded us of that thank you so much
sammy and he listens to us he listens to us and i think he thank you i think sammy got josh to
listen to us i think that's how that worked it's pretty amazing awesome sammy thank you so much
and happy birthday man uh absolutely and he lives in sctsdale, too. I'm going to try to find that guy and take him out for a drink as soon as a 75-year-old isn't threatened by disease.
As soon as that drink wouldn't fucking murder him.
Let's not kill the guy.
His fucking airplane jumps didn't kill him.
Let's not kill him with a drink.
Other executive producers are Joanne Ahern, Jordan Bennett, of course, Julia Hipper.
Thank you so much, Julia.
That was unbelievably kind.
Thank you.
Christiane Castaldi, again, you're amazing.
Rachel Flaherty donated for Dave Fordyce.
He passed away April 2nd, but we met him at a live show, and I miss him already.
Oh, yeah, we talked about that.
It's unbelievable.
It's awful.
Also, Brennan Keene, Zanward, Humble Bumble, Humble Bumble.
That can't be real.
Robert, right?
That's not real.
Robert Durham, Alex Petrovito, Patrovito, Morgan Willenbring, sorry, Trifogia Eads,
Allison Thumbsorn, Jennifer Sutton, Gabriela Angelica Lopez, Jacob Ford, Jess Pod, and just Ashes.
No last name at all. We didn't even make that up because Ashes is not even a name. That's a word, right?
I think it is. You can call her Ashes. There's two Ashleys.
Thank you so much, all of you. We really appreciate you.
Other producers this week are Angela Pace, Thomas Smith, James Marder, Corporal Carl
Kirshner, Samantha.
Nope, that's Susanna.
Susanna Platt, Sonny Johansson, Gary Friedman, Rabbi Shmulalovich, Flounder Dorfman, because
his brother Fred is a legacy.
I don't know if you know that.
No.
I think that's an Animal House reference.
Peyton Meadows, Mike Kuehling, Cherry Tunt, Steve Schnell, of course.
What was that? Say again. What was thatunt, Steve Schnell, of course. What was that?
Say again.
What was that one?
Steve Schnell.
No, no.
Sherry Tunt.
Sherry with an S.
No.
Oh, no.
I'm sorry, Sherry.
C-H-E-R.
I'm sorry, Sherry.
Sherry, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Sherry Tunt?
Is that somebody fucking with me?
I mean, I just, I hope so i mean i hope now maybe sherry i'm sorry sherry let's just say i'm sorry sarah wetmore mark hamill matt villanueva
uh and his friend mustard uh also we have joanna oh joanna staton oh that's an overboard reference. Yeah, it is.
I see her.
Now I see her name when she donates and I know exactly who it is.
And then I go to look for.
She has found every character in the show.
Now she's going to have to name off all the boys.
That's true.
Maria Rasper, Jennifer Stevens, Greta Joe, Hannah Walker, Jennifer Rydell, Sandra Workman,
Jenna Koons, and she just beat cancer in a fair fight, so it's legal.
Wow. Shit.
Congrats.
Yeah.
Way to go, Jenna.
Hell yeah.
Jenna.
Yeah.
Jenna Koons.
Also, Jennifer Inglis, Ashley Veo, Janice Hill, Ashley Gauthier, Eric Rodriguez, Ben
Saulnier, Rachel Fanguyuy and her jugginess.
I don't know. Somebody said
she's extra juggy. I don't know what
that means. Good for you, Rachel.
Mickey Speaker. Good for you.
Congratulations again.
Mickey Speaker. Where did
I go? Mike Moreno, Gregory
Burr, Michael Lewis,
I think, Brianna Poland, Emily
Irvin, Mandy Lebecco, Pixie DeLeon, Bob Richmond, Adam Iannetti, Rachel, nope, that's Gretchen Rose, Verity Hall, Daniel Lewin, Kelsey Thomas, Andrew Jadarski, Matt Salchuk, Abby Hegstrom, Gilear DeFries Perez, Gilear, Gilear, Gilear, Dustin Van
Dyke, In Our Kiwi Life with Tony and Candy, Jordan Hofer, Nancy Eggstrom, Tommy Taylor,
Lauren Brownlee, Pam, do you know her last name, James, Pam?
Do you know?
I do not.
You don't know it?
Oh, do you not have one for her?
Do you know her last name or not?
Anderson.
You are right.
August Miller.
Mandy's last name is really interesting.
Do you want to guess it?
Unterreiner.
You are so good at this game.
Thomas Badry.
Kaiwei Maya.
Alexis's last name is going to throw you for a loop, though.
I'm sure of it.
Marshfield.
Nailing it.
Babak.
I know my things.
Ajgan?
Ajan?
That's got to be a correction from Apple, right?
Jack Cornia.
Eric Medley.
Chad Fetcher.
Melissa Sawyers.
Brian Nichols.
Angie Moore.
Hannah and Chris Gladue.
McQuaggins.
Robin Solly.
Nicole Finfrock.
Tracy Barsby.
Jamie Hansen.
Hannah Albanese. Linda Baca. Wren Jaeger-Dula. Bianca Garza. You know her last name, right?
Yes.
Yes.
Sachin Vats.
Pasquale Vincenzo.
Michael Bowman.
Andrew Brown.
Ernie Reese.
Goblin and Gremlin that are not dogs, by the way.
I don't know what they are.
They just said, by the way, they're not dogs. Jared L they just said by the way they're not dogs uh jared langenfield laura still come bucket you know them right uh becky adkins
andrew tevington jason rodriguez carly do you know her you've met her right at worthington yes
it's right right yeah shauna newman bradley wolsey morgan showen benjamin dalman h Hannah Cabedas, Robin Reed, GG, Jen, nope, that's Jen Nitchie, Michael
Chambliss, Molly Owens, Todd Milikovic, Mike and Jill Calhoun, Mike Morgan, Amanda, that
old friend of yours, Amanda?
Madigan.
Yes.
Amanda and Steven Reed.
Jay, that one dude that you used to hang out with a long time ago.
The fuck was his last name?
Berenstein, like the bears.
Jason Vincent.
There's also Lacey, James.
You remember her?
Lacey Walker.
Yeah, we all know her.
Kendra Mudge.
Joshua Perkins.
Julie Q.
Cheryl June.
Alexandra Tacoma.
Nope, that's Tim.
Malazzo.
James Milliken.
Emily Knave.
Maggie Bartolovich.
Potato Trash.
Ronald Stillwagon.
Your old friend, Shelly. That girl that, you Bartolovich, Potato Trash, Ronald Stillwagon, your old friend Shelly,
that girl that, you remember her, Shelly?
Oh, wait, no,
what was her name? Yeah, I think I remember her, Shelly.
Martin. Yes, Tammy Emig,
Antoinette Lynch, Justin Allaway, Sarah,
that girl that you married? Edwards.
Edwards, yeah, we know her.
Mia Mullins, Makeup with Kate,
Carly Stotts, Captain Chromosome, Mary Samantha Richardson,
Trenton Haglin, Tyler from my old neighbor, Tyler.
Do you remember?
Oh, yeah, McGee.
Yeah, we know him.
Jake Jessup, Derek Dickinson, Christy Rowland, Dwayne, the point guard from The Heat.
Smith.
How did you forget that?
Jacob Thompson.
Jack Mehoff.
Of course it is.
Sash Massacote.
Tabitha Stevens.
I hope it's the porn star.
Jared Bethel.
Monica Burke.
Adam.
Fucking.
Kloster.
Yes.
Justin Logg.
Zan.
Of course Zan.
You don't remember him?
Zan?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right?
Pedro also. Pedro. From over at the store. Yeah. Right. Pedro also. Pedro from over at the store. Pedro. I had a Hispanic name all lined up and his name's Pedro Lindsay Wogg, Eve Borum, Kayla Houston, Charles C. Spalding, Warren Jacobs, Nikki Tate, Jewel Diggs, Tatum Seidler, Mary Kate Folsom, Melissa McCormick, Lindsay Huta, Mr. Flannelmouth.
There's also Kenny, the guy from R&R.
Yeah.
Lillian Kanderblommer.
Sarah Wright.
Kelsey Kautz.
Monica Compton.
Shelby King.
Nick Long.
Karen Lopez-Easterling.
Tim Lawley.
Taylor Bethards.
Christy Brady.
Nope, that's Bill.
Lindikey.
Sarah Legere.
Legere.
Legere.
Legere.
Leanne Fields.
Becky DeWitt.
And Daniel James.
Do you remember that guy?
Dixon.
Yes.
Caitlin Earles, Maddie Garrett, Brandon Smith, Julia over there from, you remember that?
Cheetah.
Yeah, like Garrett.
Jen DeLong, Tom White, Cecilia also.
You remember her?
She was the girl with the hair.
Oh, Underton.
Yes.
Cassie Triggs, Brittany Towns, Soalfredo Powell, Christine Buick, Ashley Milan, Kenneth Mathis,
Billy Williams, Roxy Rodriguez, Steve, Steph Morgan, Adil Kovacevic, Chris Rojas, Madison
Calabrese, Raquel Daldalian, Ashley Deaver, Alexander Matos Castro, Pamela Brown, Megan Doriat, Marcos Magana, Diane also, James, you remember her.
Parkinson.
Yeah, Ja'Kor Goodwin, Tiana Tank, Ashley Bauer, Joan Knapek, Amy Wopal, Julian Forkin-Begby, what?
Amy Wopal, Julian Forkin-Begby, what?
Rue Allen Church, John Mendenhall, Teresa with no last name.
You know, do you remember Teresa?
Esther House.
Yeah, her.
It's Esther House.
Do you remember that movie?
It's Caddyshack.
Yo, I was thinking of the bad writers.
And you are Mrs. Esther House.
Oh, God.
Okay.
Michael Rousseau, Jesse Falk, James Kehoe, Chris Cross, Brett Brookshire, James Moll Jr., Katrina Emmerich, Carla Wisand, Tim Gee, Leandro Etienne Crank, Kim Orgy, Thomas Hawkins,
also James.
There's Roy. And we're not giving him a last name Thomas Hawkins, also James. There's Roy.
And we're not giving him a last name because his name is what?
No, no, because he's Roy.
Simone York.
We all know.
There's also Faith, as in keep the.
Rosai.
That's our girl.
Jenna Delorio, Kendall Elfritz, Brett Meyer, Jamie Zitkovich, Roach, Carol Thiessen, Ciara McLam, Heather Stovall, Ben
Beauchert, Marcus Richards, Paul George.
Nope, that's Robert George.
Paul West, Maine.
Nope, that's Wayne.
Merson, Sarah Kelly, Vanessa Anderson, Holly Henderson, Cassie Shores, Matthew Olmsted,
Lindsay Bates, Katie Goh, Dream.
What is Dream?
Villion Jay, Laura Behan, Samantha Nelson, Robert Ryan, John Lawson, Siren Head, Christopher Wrights, Belinda Gray, Heather Carroll, Danielle Sherb, Allie Henley, Palmer Owens, Tracy Villancourt, Erin Marie, Murray, Meredith Graves, Eduardo Santana, Andrea Quarengi, I think, Sylvia Concha, Brian Gilbert.
There's also Justin.
Of course, there's Justin.
Also Rosario.
Yep.
Shelby Rose, Marcy Bush, Colleen Lambert, Jerry Lee.
Remember that guy or girl?
Jerry Lee.
That is his last name.
It's Lee.
All right.
It might be a gal.
It's J-E-R-R-I.
That may be a gal.
Oh, shit.
Jameson.
Oh, that guy. Jameson.
Oh, that guy.
Jameson.
You remember him?
Great deal.
Oh.
You got to remember Jameson.
Oh, Jameson Jackson.
Kicked you in the thing?
Yeah. Yeah.
Jackson.
Right.
Jameson Jackson.
Quinn Riley, Monica Kaluzny, Kennedy, Borosi, Kayla Thing.
What?
Kayla Ann.
Heather Adley.
I don't know.
Brandi Mendoza, Carrie Wilhelm dillhelm and chase scott and all of our patrons you guys really uh make things worth it and and i have just had more
fun than ever that was great thank you everybody so much you guys you guys really are awesome we cannot thank you enough
for everything that everybody does for us honestly it keeps us going it keeps the shows going and it
keeps uh it just keeps us uh you know like food on our tables and stuff like that so thank you for
making us eat and not have to go creep around to cars with and looking for their stereos it really
helps a lot it It really does.
And Jimmy, what if people wanted to tell you where their car was parked and what kind of
stereo they have?
How could they get ahold of you?
Well, I already know where it's at.
I'm in it right now under the back seat, taking out your subs and amps.
And thank you guys all so much, truly, for everything you've done for us.
We can't thank you enough.
You're why it works.
Where can they find you?
You can Google.
You know how to Google. You're in the trunk taking the ground wires out. That're why it works. Where can they find you? You can Google. You know how to Google.
You're in the trunk taking the ground wires out.
That's what I mean.
I don't want to give my location away right now.
I'm working on the amp back there.
It's bolted in.
That's the problem.
They bolted it right to the fucking trunk, so I got to pop those out.
I need a wrench.
If it's from the place I used to work at, don't worry.
We riveted that right to the gas tank.
Oh, perfect. That's good. So everybody be careful.'t worry. We riveted that right to the gas tank. Oh, perfect.
That's good.
So everybody be careful.
Watch out.
If you smell that, it is gas, is what we're saying there.
That said, lock your doors.
Roll them up.
Lock them down.
Take your face plates off your stereos if it's 1994.
Otherwise, keep having fun, and we'll keep having fun live from the Crime and Sports Studios.
We will see you next week.
Bye.
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