Crime in Sports - #256 - Fill My Hat With Crack - The Jauntiness of Dennis "Oil Can" Boyd
Episode Date: May 18, 2021This week, we tell a story that more people really should know about. He came from segregated Mississippi, all the way to the World Series, but the high of success could never match his love ...for a different high... Crack! He smoked crack at home. In the car. At the ballpark! Anywhere. He's such a character, that you can't help but root for him, only to mess it up with more crack! Work hard from a young age, smoke crack at work, then sue a baseball team for not inviting you to Spring Training with Dennis "Oil Can" Boyd!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurde See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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That said, let's get into it.
All right.
We got a lot of show here.
And it's one of the games, honestly, one of the all-time characters of the game that I think the game of baseball is suffering and has suffered for lack of this kind of player.
I truly believe the characters in baseball are what make baseball interesting.
Special.
Special.
That's what I mean.
They don't have, there's no face mask on them.
You know what I mean?
Their faces are visible.
You can see them.
It's like basketball is the same thing.
A character.
I think that's hurt the NBA is everybody's very corporate and worried about their sponsors
and all that sort of shit rather than not giving a fuck.
Where's Xavier McDaniel?
You know what I mean?
Where's a character?
You know, just characters.
These characters, you know, just don't exist anymore.
And I think this is the type of thing in baseball.
It's just lacking.
Baseball is very, it's just vanilla at this moment in time.
And they've even made it more vanilla with the instant replay.
Now there's no reason for a manager to argue anymore.
So you've taken one of the most entertaining
things in the game which wasn't even really a part of the game but is culturally the manager
coming out arguing with the umpire watching two fat old men argue with each other you know somebody
will freak out throw a base you know lou panellick and billy martin kicking dirt on people and shit
like that completely gone because now they just come out and they go yeah instant replay and then
they watch the video and they go all right and they go back to the dugout what the fuck and then worse
over a guy doesn't even throw a punch and he gets fined and suspended that pitcher for the for the
phillies i think it's the phillies god damn it he's he's unbelievable he's so great he's a big
tall skinny dude who pitches fantastically and he's got an attitude and he's he's got personality and he caused a
bench clearing nothing there wasn't even a brawl nobody threw a punch it's just it's personality
you got to have personality and i might be biased too because obviously one of my best friends was
rod beck who was a very bunch of one of these guys who's like a personality they talked to him
after the game and you know talk to him hey aren't you think you're putting on a few pounds he goes
never seen a guy in the DL with pulled fat.
And he walks away.
I mean, that's that's a character.
You know what I mean?
Like they know that doesn't exist anymore.
I'm an athlete.
Put a banana in it and it's a health shake.
That's he.
He would say that, actually.
He would say, I make make daiquiris.
You put fruit in them.
I can write them off.
My tax guy told me he found a way to write off booze.
So it's a health drink now.
So we have a guy much in this mold this week and a fun son of a bitch, Dennis Boyd, better
known, of course, as Oil Can Boyd.
Yeah.
And if you don't know who Oil Can Boyd is, he's a character.
And he was a damn good pitcher for a damn good pitcher for a while.
Not bad at all. And just a kind of a wild guy that one of those guys that you would say kind of a quote unquote talked himself out of baseball.
You know what I mean? They just people said it's not worth the headache for him, which is ridiculous, honestly.
Like one pitcher and his kind of antics do not affect a baseball team.
They just don't.
There's 25 guys and a bunch of coaches,
and it's a big train that's moving in a direction.
If there's a sparrow sitting on the tracks,
it doesn't alter the direction of the train.
It just keeps going right over the sparrow.
It doesn't matter.
So one guy can't fuck it up, but they always act like they can.
So Dennis Ray Boyd, better known as Oil Can, guy can't fuck it up but they always act like they that he can so uh dennis ray boyd better
known as oil can and uh the the reason why he got that nickname is genuinely completely false
of why everyone thinks he got it like on his wikipedia page it says he's known as oil can
because he drank a lot of beer known as oil in the South, which is not what it is at all.
He'll explain it because he wrote a book where a lot of beer is called that in the South.
I don't know if it is or it isn't, but that's not where he got the name.
And he explains where he got the name.
It's much grosser than that, by the way, by far.
And it's from gut rot moonshine, as he calls it.
Yeah, that he it's he's got quite the tail here.
Oil can you can't hear you can't hear his
tail and read his tail and not think i gotta like this guy i i'm sorry i don't care what he did
he's a funny son of a bitch and i like him so uh oil can is born uh october 6th 1959 my god he's
one of 14 children that his father, you know, is responsible for.
Yeah.
Willie James Boyd Sr. is his dad.
And so there's a junior in the mix.
It's not.
It's not.
Dennis is the youngest.
So he's all the juniors were fucked out by that way.
Fucked out.
Junior had been fucked out long, long ago.
His dad briefly pitched for both the Homestead grays and the newark eagles
of the negro leagues in the 1940s his his whole family is like baseball his uncles are baseball
players they played for different kansas city monarchs one of them played for you got uh all
these it's great stuff here so he he always idolized uh oil can did Satchel Paige as his idol.
His dad, his family played against him.
He was kind of told of him.
And he's a similar physical type to Satchel Paige.
Real skinny guy.
Oil Can is the type of guy where you look at him and you go, Jesus Christ, he looks like a crackhead.
And then you go, oh, because he's a crackhead.
Okay, that's why.
That makes sense.
christ he looks like a crackhead and then you go oh because he's a crackhead okay that's why that makes sense but he's like chris rock new jack skinny new jack fucking city skinny crackhead
crackhead like that kind like he looks ill even when he's not he's just a thin guy he's just one
of those guys very wiry cat so um yeah he uh dennis's background is interesting here. He's from Meridian, Mississippi, which is the deep, deep, deep, deep, deep south.
I'm talking he has a connection to Mississippi burning and that whole thing.
Wow.
Oh, yeah.
He knew the kids that were killed.
And it's an interesting story that we'll tell you in a minute.
Now, he Dennis is black.
If you look at him, he's a black guy uh but he also has
choctaw indian in him as well on his father's side and his great-grandfather on his mother's side
was as he puts it quote white as snow so he he said that he had one great-grandfather who was
irish and another one who was a slave so he said he had a very very different background that's a lot of people's backgrounds that are you know it's
a lot of it was a lot of technically a beige baby although he's the darker beige baby yeah yeah
because then his mom and his dad are both you know like considered black and they're not you know he
there was no other the the quote mixing kind of stopped at that point i guess in the 1800s here uh now he said quote my
father played just a little bit while a little bit while in negro league baseball my two uncles
played kt boyd my dad's brother with the kansas city monarchs and robert boyd he played for the
kansas city athletics but he also came out of negro league baseball he played for the memphis
red sox so this is uh and we'll talk about. All his brothers play a couple of a couple of his brothers were drafted into the, you know, by major league teams. He said, my great uncle played Benjamin Boyd. He played for the Memphis Red Sox and Homestead Grays.
Bob Boyd, his one uncle that he said, Robert, was the first black guy to sign with the Chicago White Sox in 1950 and broke in with them the following year. And he ended up playing for the Orioles and Kansas City and Milwaukee for nine seasons.
Yes. He's got five older brothers that were his a, you know, living around him that were like in the house when he was a child.
around him that were like in the house when he was a child yeah so a lot of baseball being played and he's the youngest so everyone he plays with is older which is great for a kid who yeah that
teaches you so much you get to learn from people that are already playing you got to be better to
be to be able to play so yeah he he did that here um he also he lived three houses away from uh
roy dawson who's a famous negro league pitcher as well
so he knew him and you know kind of talked to him about pitching uh he said quote i've had a few
cousins too barry larkin is my dad's first cousin oh that's awesome yeah if you don't know barry
larkin is if you're not a baseball fan barry larkin's like a 15 time all-star hall of fame
one of the best reds ever well he was oh my god that's where
that's where that pitcher is the tall oh in cincinnati for the reds okay he uh he was he's
the prototype for the 90s and early 2000 shortstop the shortstop who could hit 35 home runs a year
and shit like that barry larkin was nobody there wasn't shortstops hitting 20 home runs a when barry larkin came around he's a bigger guy yeah a guy who you'd look at and
wouldn't think was a short stop but he could still you know he could get to the holes and
everything else that's he was there with the world series champ uh right yeah and chris sabo yeah
absolutely yeah he was like one of the major cogs of that team uh he said troy boyd uh played for
the chicago cubs and the san diego padres and in minor league
baseball uh brian cole and popeye cole uh are related to him as well so uh he said that one
of his cousins here brian cole was on sports illustrated did an article on him and he said
that he got killed he was in the mets organization and he said he got killed in 2001 in a car
accident coming from spring training and he said it was called the Mets organization, and he said he got killed in 2001 in a car accident coming from spring training.
And he said it was called The Best Player You Never Saw.
That was the title of the article there.
He said that Albert Pujols made a lot of comments about him and all that sort of shit, like how good he was.
Now, the thing about the at the time, his dad, his dad's Willie Boyd Sr., but he's known as Skeeter.
Everybody calls him Skeeter Boyd.
Very Southern.
Very Southern.
And his mom is Gertherie.
Gertherie.
I've never heard that name.
G-I-R-T-H-A-R-E-E.
Gertherie.
Actual Gerth in her name.
Yeah, Gertherie.
Wow.
She goes by Sweetie.
Of course she does skeeter and sweetie
i get why she's like listen um yeah i'm gonna go with the name it doesn't have the word girth in
it for now anything but that about sweetie yeah um yeah he said he was introduced to three kids
by his uncle frank who brought them from the swimming pool in Meridian now at the time he said this is segregation we're talking
19 early 60s
fucking Mississippi it's
not good it's this is pre
civil rights legislation this is
you know this isn't good this is
for sure
definitely he was there in the background
drinking a Dr. Pepper you'd see him back there
wish somebody would have drowned him and just get it over
with fucking Forrest gump the worst so that's what i want to see i want to see a movie
where someone kills forrest gump and rudy in the background in the background yeah not not as the
main story no so he said that the accomplice of gacy is strangling him in the corner that's perfect it's fucking perfect so uh he said there were it was
two white kids and a black guy a black kid he said uh michael schwirner andrew goodman and james
cheney were there and they were the they were from new york but came down to protest for civil rights
this was in the summer of 64 so this is when all this is going on this is martin luther king is
down there there's a lot going on he said this is the summer he saw martin luther king uh in in his church so
he got to see him preach and all this sort of shit so he was saying it was a yeah it was a pretty
crazy fucking time so um anyway he said that uh he talked to these kids and you know hung out he
was a little kid and so they played with him and shit like that, and they were nice people.
And he said then a little later on, the three kids murdered that they made the movie Mississippi Burning after.
Wow.
So, yeah.
And as a matter of fact, he said that him and his brothers and his dad were, because his dad's a landscaper, were landscaping at the time that the clansmen
left to go do their business they were landscaping one of the yards of one of these high-level
clansmen and saw the cars leave basically and then heard what happened later on and everybody
knew who did it and what happened down there and uh you know it was just one of those things so he
was horrific yeah so he found it very he said as a little kid it was very difficult because his parents didn't hide from him what happened either.
They told him exactly what was going on and why.
And that's some heavy shit for a six-year-old to deal with.
Digest that?
Yeah.
You got to digest that sort of a whole cultural thing at six.
You're like, what the Siri?
What?
So they killed him.
Why?
Because.
Oh, because they're black.
I'm black.
Yeah.
Well, two of them were white just because they wanted they were weren't from around
here and they were, you know, trying to get involved in our business and they got pissed
off at it.
So, I mean, that's what it was.
And I was because they they wanted black people to have rights, which wasn't, you know, they didn't want.
So anyway, he said that those are the first white people that he ever really talked to and ever interacted with, like, you know, in a just a friend way.
And so he said it was really it said, you know, it hurt him that this happened and he didn't understand the whole deal.
And he didn't understand why they killed the white people, too.
He's like, well, why did they kill the white people if you know what i mean they were like well because
they like you yeah exactly that's that's how these people are now go on out there and be somebody
yeah come on now holy shit so yeah he said it was it was uh it was tough on him and it made him
not uh trust police a whole lot after that because he's like, oh, well, everybody knows what happened.
So they'll get caught and go to jail.
And it was like, oh, no, no.
The cops were helping them and all this kind of shit.
So made him a little distrustful of the police.
And that's pretty understandable, I would think, for for him.
He said the first day of school in the first grade, I jumped out of the classroom window and literally ran back home.
He's got a lot of energy.
He's got a lot of middle of class.
Yeah, he just took off.
He was like, fuck this.
I'm out and just jumped out of the window and jetted.
I was so used to being under my mom's care.
And when she took me to school and told me I was going to stay there, it scared me to death.
So I ran home until I figured out that you had to go to school.
It's like, you know, and they told me that's a you have to do that.
That's a thing that you need to do.
Everybody else does it.
You do it, too.
Yeah.
He said he changed elementary schools in the third grade.
He said he had a great teacher named Miss Williams who who was nice to him because he was a very sensitive kid and he cried a lot.
He needed a teacher that was nice to him. He said, very sensitive kid and he cried a lot. So he needed a seizure that was nice to him.
He said, quote, I was a spoiled ass kid.
I came from a lot of sisters and brothers.
I wanted my way.
And when I didn't have my way, I would have fits.
I was just like that.
They called it spoiled.
But no one can really spoil black kids.
Not when you get your ass beat that much.
Because how could I be spoiled when my dad kicks my ass
every day that's not spoiled wow yeah you know everybody else seems to be getting cars and money
and clothes and stuff that seems to be spoiled the current the only currency i'm getting is pain
that's not whoopings why is this sport because he would cry yeah it's fucking hilarious i'm getting i'm
spoiled with ass whoopings everyone spoil your children you've got so many you've got more than
all the other kids have you're pretty spoiled look at you you're spoiled rotten i swear to god
you're limping Jesus Christ we'll spoil you bloody. Spoil you bruised. I want to spoil you black and blue.
Black and blue spoilage.
So 67, he said, was a real good year.
He said they didn't have T-ball, but they had Little League baseball.
And they said if you were good enough to play, it didn't matter how old you were.
So you could be under the age.
He said that they, you you know it was regular kids pitching
the kids it wasn't like coach pitch or any of that shit like that he said uh but you know you were if
you were good and you were eight you're playing with kids that are 14 it's a big age difference
man it is uh he said that you have to be pretty very physical all the all the kids were very much
into sports and they were real rough kids at least lot of poor kids. So everybody's real rough.
And, you know, it's just he said, you know, that's what you do.
He said, quote, That's just the Southern mentality.
Boys are tough in the South to get your way.
You pretty much had to hold your ground.
You had to be able to put up some dukes even as a little boy.
Yeah.
So he said that all the kids in his school because he came from a non integrated school.
Really? Oh, yeah. He said all the kids were very aggressive. he came from a non-integrated school really oh
yeah he said all the kids were very aggressive they were all trying to get ahead especially in
sports and uh yeah he his area wasn't integrated until 71 his school so that's a long time wow
yes that's a while you like to believe that martin luther king got shot and then everything went
everybody's like oh we shouldn't do that bad stuff that's obviously awful we like to believe that martin luther king got shot and then everything went everybody's like
oh we shouldn't do that bad stuff that's obviously awful you like to think that the
literally signing the civil rights act right was the end and from then on everybody
flower you know mind your p's and q's yeah flowers and roses and everything yeah they were
no that that's there was a huge fight and it's it's been's been precarious for fucking still.
I mean, it's a fight.
Yeah.
People fight.
There was the busing fights and all that.
It caused more fights, but I mean, that's what had to be done.
You had to.
It needs to be figured out eventually.
So, I mean, it's like eventually whatever fights need to take place, let's argue over it and get it over with and fucking get the whole thing worked out here.
This is crazy so uh it was around this time that he started to go to work with his dad in the
summers and he said that's when he really experienced what work was because his dad's a
landscaper in mississippi in the summer so yikes that's hot man he said he'd haul concrete he'd
haul sod wood logs he said he'd do anything to make a living.
And the kids were expected to work just as hard as dad when they were there.
He said, quote, it was just a bad, bad situation.
As I grew up, I worked with my dad, who was a landscaper.
He said this was his work all the way up until he died. This was our family business, and I grew up with the job.
At work, daddy would often discuss with us what it was like growing up around this time as black kids.
He taught us right from wrong.
He taught us not to hate and to withdraw from any situation.
But, man, it was just hard.
Even for me as a little as a little bitty boy, it was real hard.
Schools hadn't integrated or anything at that time.
You had black school teachers in the black schools and the school was located near your house.
So you were able to go there as, you know, all the kids you knew.
So then once it was integrated, he goes, everything changed and you'd have kids from the same neighborhood that were going to different schools.
And he said that it was it was hard for him to get used to is what he said.
He said that everybody grew up landscaping, though, said this is how we took care of home, and this is how we shared money, food, and Christmases.
Everybody landscaping.
Now, around 12, his dad leaves.
His brother said, quote, Daddy up and left us when Dennis was about 12.
He said Daddy, who has remarried but still lives in the area, didn't keep up with us much after that.
And I think that really frustrated Dennis, which yeah understandable sure yeah that's he grew up with a dad and now
dad's not there yeah not only with a dad with a dad who's very strict and very sees over looks
over them and gives them advice and it's a you know he's an active dad and then he's part of
this day yeah it's it's crazy he said in 1969 is when he really really became
really into baseball it kind of took over his his kind of everything he said he started to fall in
love with the game because his brothers and his family and everybody else played too so he's used
to going to watch games and you know shit like that he said they would go they'd play anywhere
they could find an empty lot, pick up games or whatever.
He wrote in 1969, he said one of his favorite teachers, his fifth grade teacher, they had to write a paper of what they want to be when they grow up.
So he said he wanted to be a pro baseball player.
And he says, quote, and I'll be damned, almost 20 years later, she had kept this paper and she gave it back to me.
And she said it was the most unusual and special thing, a kid that would say he wanted to be something so improbable and then go out and do it.
This was when he was in the majors.
He said his older brother, Skeeter, that's Willie Jr.
Yeah.
He finished who's now Skeeter Jr.
You don't have to inherit your dad's bad nickname, too, do you?
I get that you're a junior, but is that?
Evidently you do that's like
oh man what if his dad's name was like dickless or something or baby nuts or some shit like you
have to inherit that too that's not fun nobody wants that nickname dennis raider didn't have
a junior did he i hope not does that kid have to go by btk june fuck btk june here i am yes i'm
yeah btk jr here i am green river jr is there one i believe there is a green river jr i'm
no there is no green river jr green river killer jr that'd be hilarious i want it
that'd be a great i really want i really want son of son of sam that's what i want
i want son of son of sam
don't you i want it son of son of sam i am son of son of sam and uh that by the way people have
asked us well are we going to do a bonus episode on that new Netflix thing? We have to because it's so fucking crazy.
Did you watch it?
Yeah.
We'll get into it.
So the first episode, I'll just give you this.
The first episode, I'm like, they're going to do four parts of this bullshit?
And then by the second one, I'm like, well, obviously.
And then it gets to part three and you're like, what is going on?
They really took a big jump there
they make a leap literally but by then i was so invested i was like well fuck yeah we're jumping
off this cliff let's go guys sarah left the room for 15 minutes came back and was like what the
fuck happened and i'm like they went from a to q in a heartbeat like it was right now yeah it was
real fast they were just like so if that's that then this is that and here we are okay now we'll
talk about this it was like huh we'll get into it we'll talk about it but i sat through it and like
if there was a cartoon of me my eyes were just swirling just in trance and i'm like fuck yeah i'm in let's go it's fucking interesting anyway jesus christ
oh man so uh back to skeeter yeah here uh the son of son of sam skeeter jr skeeter jr he said
that skeeter finished school in 69 and he said i don't know if he graduated high school i want to
say that my daddy took him out of school and that kind of pissed off my mama and my brother. He said, quote, he talks about to this day about the mentality that my dad had, that blacks didn't need school, that they needed to be at work.
We have to put food on the table.
And that was the only thing that was important.
He just he came from a different time.
I mean, his dad was from a different time in a different era.
Like the movie The Help.
It's the same thing.
Yeah.
But that's also I mean, if you know, if you've ever met fucking immigrants they're the same way though they're anybody my my
grandparents weren't going to fucking tell me to you know i mean especially the one from italy
she's not going to say to do anything they would have said go to go to work what are you doing
yeah work and make money that's that's how you that's and you just save it up and forever.
And then you put it under your mattress and in the walls and because you don't trust banks, obviously, because Mussolini took over in 19 fucking.
That's the mentality we're dealing with. And so, I mean, it's every day you're in school, you're wasting money, James.
That's yeah. So he said, my dad knew his boys had great baseball talent, but no man believed that his kid was going to the pros.
Even though Jackie Robinson had gone to the major leagues, my dad wasn't under the illusion that other black kids would be going unless they were like Jackie, which we weren't.
So, yeah, he said my brother Mike was the inspiration that got me into the major leagues, he said.
His story, he said he's very bitter about Mike's career because he said that uh he said his brother
was amazing he says quote he was like bo jackson and dave winfield that's those are like two of the
greatest athletes to ever play the game of baseball pure athletes and great arms and power and speed
and everything here um he said uh he was a mixture of about five or six guys all in one, and he was as strong
and quick as all of them, and he probably had the greatest arm that I've ever seen, and I've played
Major League Baseball. I've seen some great arms in the pros, and before and after my tenure,
and I still haven't seen any, I still haven't seen an arm like my brother Mike's.
So he said he was something like 19-2 in his senior season. His team won the state championship. And he said that he had good stats, 95 mile an hour fastball. And he said that he was drafted by the Dodgers in 73. He said, but he never got a contract. He says, quote, because he got a white girl pregnant. Mike was my inspiration. But Mike lost his career, and he lost it because the schools were integrated.
White girls wanted some black boys, and they didn't give a damn what happened.
A lot of them got kicked out of their own homes.
Mike got the girl he was seeing pregnant in 71, and my nephew was born in 72.
His name is Michael, and he had to be raised in our house with us because the girl's parents didn't want the baby.
That's the bottom line.
Yeah, it's a different time down there, man.
Mississippi and...
Wow.
That's just different.
He said the Cardinals drafted his brother Don in 73 also.
So two of his brothers, which is...
I'll give you some confidence.
Skeeter's got baseball jizz.
Oh, my God.
Him, all his brothers?
Yeah.
I mean, damn.
There's baseball jizz coming out everywhere.
He said that he signed a contract to play with the Cardinals.
Don did, and he said that he was pretty decent,
but I guess he got released that year.
So that was that.
He got released in rookie ball.
He had a coach in high school, he said,
that was the guy who really taught him the game from a mental aspect,
Coach Marchant. the guy who really taught him the game from a mental aspect uh coach marchant he said that uh
um he said that his dad and all of his dad's brothers were illiterate he said they were all
illiterate they didn't really go to school much they played some baseball and they landscaped and
they just you know that's what they did he said so he uh quote they passed the game down to us
physically they couldn't pass down the knowledge of how to
play the game which i don't think that's correct anyway maybe they couldn't write it down but they
can fucking tell you about they know how to play the goddamn game if they played pro ball well
then you can write your name doesn't matter dexter manley proves that that's what i'm saying if you
can yeah especially in baseball you don't even need to read a fucking playbook you're yeah if
you're a pitcher you need to know one you need to be able to read
the catcher's fingers and that's about it that's you know it doesn't even matter if you know how
many that is it's just you see one and then another i know that means uh throw it like this
it doesn't matter they make up their own language with signs anyway via like jiggle your hat that's
not a word that's just a movement yeah that's That's yeah. You're right. That's what I'm saying.
It's yeah.
It's over here.
Maybe in here.
Sometimes it's a non sign.
Right.
The other thing, too, it's just a throw off sign.
If they were trying to wave at the fans, wiggle your little hat and you get paid.
You wiggle your little hat and you get paid.
Tom Hanks.
So he said it wasn't until Coach Marchant that I learned the other side of baseball. He said, quote, Even with all that, we had mixed feelings about Bill Marchant. I mean, he's a white man. He's a white coach coaching in Mississippi, but he had to live two lives. I think he learned to love my family. I know he respected my family and knew what kind of background we came from. He knew that my mom had been sick and that he was there for me and Neil.
He bought our spikes and things like that for us.
He said this was about the time when my daddy left us.
And that's when mentors like a high school coach stepped in.
We were a bit ashamed to tell you the truth to have someone buy something for us, knowing
that we had a daddy who was working hard and who made some money.
He said, but daddy was gone.
So Bill Marchand stepped in and I love him for that today.
But like I say, I still have mixed feelings toward Bill,
coach Marchand because of the earlier years in 76,
when I was in the 11th grade, he said, that's because of the earlier years before.
I'm sorry.
That's a different thing.
And then he said in the 11th grade, 76.
The wait is over.
So far, you're not 76. The wait is over.
So far, you're not losing.
The only thing you're losing is my patience.
Quickly, I see that.
Bing!
The queen of the courtroom is back.
I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me. Leave her alone.
OK, so, um.
This is not a so.
This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
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He said that's when he found out
he really could,
he was getting all the different nuances of the game down.
He was throwing harder.
He developed a curveball.
So he felt that he was, you know, getting it down.
He said that he really respected the coach.
He said Marchant, quote, could have been killed, not harm, not threatened, but literally threatened, but literally killed for putting my brothers on the team.
It was Marchant who bought spikes for Dennis and Neil.
He said,
and the Meridian team went to the state playoffs.
So,
uh,
he was named MVP of the little league all-star game in 1972.
Really?
Dennis was.
Yeah.
Uh,
he said that he was introduced by oil can to alcohol when he was seven years
old and was high on weed.
And every game he played ever.
Quote, from Little League all the way through college.
Little League.
Ten years old.
Yeah, he was puffing before games.
Smoking weed.
Yeah.
What?
Which is great.
What he says, too, is exactly, it's kind of my thing.
It's a focus thing, and I i get it what he's talking about
too at 10 at not a 10 that's how he throws a fastball at 10 he's like yeah look at that curve
that's pretty cool looking all right but that was this is also that's 1969 weed that's oh it's
shit weed something 1969 weed it's it's garbage but he's still getting. It's just it's the same shit that soldiers were smoking to keep themselves from going crazy.
Coming back from Vietnam.
It's 2% THC fucking dirt weed.
You know, it is probably grown in some fucking woods somewhere in a swamp in Mississippi.
It's not whole milk weed.
It's 2%.
So oil can the nickname.
We got to get into how the fuck that came about.
I can't wait.
Okay.
He says, quote, ever since I was a little boy, my mom would send me around to Big Mama's house to pick up her booze.
Now, Big Mama was a bootlegger.
Oh.
Okay.
She sold cheap gut rot whiskey or rot gut whiskey.
Yeah.
Okay.
I can still remember.
This is the bad stuff, James.
Oh, this is gross.
This is not good this is
like this is why they were like we can't have illegal alcohol look at what people are drinking
yeah even when it was legal this is what you know this is crazy um i can still remember my mom
instructing me on how to sneak the booze back home quote pull your shirt over it so your daddy can't
see it she'd say come in the back door and hide it under the kitchen cabinet so that's what is her this stuff stinks through the glass jar this is bad
stuff it's got like a cork in it and a triple x on the bottle this is bad shit he said i didn't
know at the time that my mom was an alcoholic and that my dad didn't want her drinking that shit
she told me to hide it so i did but it wasn't too long after until i was drinking it myself
from what i was understand i was born an alcoholic and that's how it works basically he said so
he says anyway so when i was 17 years old in 77 getting ready to finish my senior year in high
school one of my best friends at the time was pap he was a distant cousin but we were real
close pap had been in trouble his whole life in and out of time was pap he was a distant cousin but we were real close pap had been
in trouble his whole life in and out of reform school since he was eight or nine years old
basically for stealing he couldn't keep his hands off shit so one day pap and i were together and
this was around the time we started drinking a lot of cheap wine really drinking anything we could
get our hands on this is like a lot of 17 year olds pretty common i told pap that
i knew where big mama kept the corn whiskey oh boy oh jesus big mama's got some corn whiskey
everybody watch out holy shit uh he said we broke into big mama's place and stole some whiskey
then we took it down to a nearby tin shed to drink it this sounds terrific yeah oh yeah now
on top of selling whiskey big mama used
to have house all the drunks in the neighborhood feeding them this gut rot gut whiskey and stealing
their social security checks this is fucking phenomenal this is great by the way she's got
a whole scheme going on it's a sweet hustle you just booze them so they can't go anywhere and
then they sign their checks over to you.
One of the local drunk homeless men was a guy called Mr. Fat Mama.
Okay.
All right.
Mr. Fat Mama. And that day, he happened by Pap and me and our looted liquor.
And our looted liquor.
Mr. Fat Mama told Big Mama that Sweetie's baby, Dennis Ray, and Ms. Eloise's baby, Pap,
were down in the tin shed drinking the whiskey from the oil cans.
That's where it came from. You snitching ass motherfucker.
Snitching mother.
Big Fat Mama, you asshole.
So Big Mama called me up to the house the next day, and she scolded me and told me that
I shouldn't be drinking that shit, and I was too young. The next day, I saw Pap, and he called me up to the house the next day and she scolded me and told me that I shouldn't be drinking that shit. And I was too young.
The next day I saw pap and he called me oil can.
That was that.
He said.
And every day after that, that's what he called me.
So it just it stuck.
Everybody started calling him that.
He said stole moonshine that was in oil cans.
That's that's it.
He said around this time he went to Tuskegee University for orientation because he thought he was going to school there.
He said his brother Neil was there at the time.
And he said his older brothers had taught another guy, a bunch of people that went there.
He knows because his older brothers had knew them.
He said one of the guys his brothers knew, his nickname was Oil Can as well.
But it was after the Mighty Mouse character Oil Can Harry.
So he said that the fans would chant Oil Can when this guy would pitch.
That was his nickname.
And he said, quote, I thought that shit was so cool.
Besides, I was a crazy Mighty Mouse fan.
So he thought it was good.
So he said he went back home to Meridian to get ready for his baseball, high school baseball season.
And he was playing intramural basketball with pap and he said pap was still calling him oil can so he wrote oil
can under the bill of his cap said then my high school shortstop picked up my ball glove and cap
one day during practice and saw my nickname on the cap and every day after that he started calling me
oil can too he said so there you go a few few months later, I was recruited to go to Jackson State.
And when it came time to sign my scholarship, the application asked if I had a nickname.
I put Oil Can, and the rest is history.
And they put it in the program as Oil Can, and then he's Oil Can from then on.
Just all the way, yeah.
You want to call him Dennis or Can?
You know, Oil Can's a cool fucking name.
Yeah.
It's just a cool goddamn name man that's badass fucking that one catfish those are my two favorites oh they're great i love
catfish as a nickname that's so great it's a great name and they you know why they gave him that
no it's not his name it's not his nickname it's charlie finley the crazy ass owner of the a's
that did all sorts of crazy shit back in the day, tried to introduce fluorescent balls and crazy shit like that.
Yeah.
He drafted him, or he had him on the team, and he's a great pitcher, Catfish,
but gets no attention because his name was Jim Hunter, which is a very boring name.
So he goes, this guy gets no damn attention.
We've got to give him a nickname, give him some flair.
So they started calling him Catfish because that's interesting.
That's literally the only reason why he's unbelievable he was 40 and they start calling him catfish everybody called him fish after that because that's just what it's called
so teammates all call him fish cat and you know that's what he's his name after that but that
wasn't like a real nickname that was just wow it wasn't because he drank whiskey out of oil cans or noodled catfish or anything.
Drank whiskey out of a catfish's ass.
Yeah.
I'll put it right up his ass with a dropper.
I think there was another one named Mudcat, too, right?
Yeah.
That might have been a fictional guy.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe.
But I'm sure there was a Mudcat at some point.
It's a good one, too.
There's a Bleacher Report thing of the 50 worst nicknames in baseball history.
And Dennis is on there with oil can at number 10, which I'm like, get the fuck out of here.
Oil can's a great name.
It's on there.
Who's picking that?
Was that a BuzzFeed article?
Yeah.
Bleacher report.
You can hit and miss.
Yeah.
So he goes to Jackson State he uh he says his record was
20 and 5 at jackson state we don't have the jackson state stats from the late 70s unfortunately
um gotta trust him on his word gotta trust him that's all but he was really good everybody knew
he was good he um he's he's emotional and he's he doesn't duck from that.
He'll admit it that he's an emotional guy.
He says, quote, I went to the school psychiatrist when I was 12 because of my tantrums.
Those tantrums almost cost me my career, too.
In the summer of 1977, before going to Jackson State, I struck out 17 batters and seven innings of some in a semi pro game at Meridian.
I had a no hitter going.
and seven innings in a semi-pro game at Meridian.
I had a no-hitter going.
The umpire missed a pitch for a walk,
and the next guy hit a double that scored him all the way from first.
I told the umpire that it was his fucking fault for that.
He threw me out of the game because you can't swear on the ball field.
Quote, I went wild.
I took my uniform off and left the park in my underwear which is another he does he did that later too at a certain point in the majors i sat in my
daddy's car crying kissing kicking cussing and fussing the next day my daddy said there were a
lot of scouts in the ballpark and they all left fuck i got so mad they're looking at a child in
his underwear now yeah screaming and crying in his underwear for getting thrown out of a game.
He said that I got so mad at him telling me that that I walked 20 miles from that pasture all the way back to Meridian.
I misunderstood him.
I thought my daddy had told me I would never make it to the big leagues because I was too hot headed.
But he was just saying, don't be so hot headed becauseheaded because you you know or at least be careful of
who's in the goddamn crowd but did he do this 20 mile walk in his underwear yeah i assume so
yeah he tore his uniform off just dennis fucking just oil can walking 20 miles through a dusty
backwoods mississippi area with his underwear his whitey tight he's kicking crying crying with his underwear. He's whitey tight. He's kicking. Crying. Crying with his cup on, I figure.
He took everything else off,
but he left his cup on
with this thing going on.
He said,
quote,
my sophomore year at Jackson State,
I put on my worst display ever
playing at the University of New Orleans
down there.
It was an all-black team
against an all-white team.
Obvious which one he's on, clearly.
And they're yelling, N-word, N-word, N-word.
And I'm going crazy.
This New Orleans player runs across the mound and calls me the N-word and a hot dog.
So I chased him to the first baseline and fought him.
They didn't throw either of us out.
And the next inning, he hit a blast off me.
He was running around the bases, shaking his fist. bought him they didn't throw either of us out and the next inning he hit a blast off me he was
running around the bases shaking his fist and it made me so mad that i let him beat me that i just
lost it i went so crazy i took my hat off and i started undressing on the mound keep your clothes
on i get it listen to this it's just it's i don't know he's got a certain thing when he gets mad listen to
this quote because you'll hear it again later i went uh blah blah blah i got so mad that it felt
as if my clothes were burning up he'll say that again later on that's just a thing you had a home
run off me i swear to god i'll strip i swear i'll take my dick out and really scare you
tell you what uh he said i was that mad madder than they saw me in
boston that's a foreshadow for later and they wonder about temper i went off the mound and
threw my spikes into their dugout and i came off the field again in my underwear jesus christ my
teammates looked at me like i was crazy stay away from him coach brady kept yelling at me this was
the biggest game of the season and
you act like that like a spoiled baby then i fought my brother neil right there i just want to win
too bad sometimes yeah if you i get what you're so upset about that makes sense that's odd but
they're obviously doing it to get in your head so you'll come out of the game because they have a
hard time hitting you so he if you get so mad that your clothes are on fire and you rip them off throw your spikes in
the other dugout then fight your brother i feel like maybe you didn't take it the way you can't
make that up that's just that's crazy then i fought my brother neil that's just like what what would make you do that so obviously he's a hot commodity in
the 1980 draft coming up clearly i want him on every team that i organize that's what i'm saying
so the 80 draft number one draft pick overall jimmy and at 1980 1980 uh john elway
close though honestly john elway did get drafted by the Yankees but uh no number
one overall Darryl Strawberry this year in 1980 1980 it took him about five years to get up to
the pigs and uh he was a kid out of high school though he was fucking 17 years old he was uh
and Chuck we'll we'll do a strawberry episode obviously but man what a talented motherfucker
he was uh other guys that made it to the majors from the first round, Darnell Cole, Cecil Espy, Kelly Gruber, the Brewers third baseman there for a long time.
Jeff Reed, Dennis Rasmussen, the pitcher, Glenn Wilson.
Let's see, Terry Francona, the manager and everything he played for a long time.
Also, author of Moneyball and longtime GM of the Oakland A's, Billy Bean, drafted in the first round by the Mets as well that year.
In the same year that Darryl Strawberry was drafted.
And he talks about it in the book how that really fucked him up that they were drafted in the same year.
And he saw Darryl Strawberry and was like, holy shit.
Yeah.
Wow.
I'm not as good as that.
Holy God damn it.
That guy's a fucking monster.
wow i'm not as good as that holy god damn it that guy's a fucking monster uh later on guys in the in the draft here tim tuffle dan plesak dave miley danny tartable doug drabeck ricky horton
joe orsalak randy ready uh lloyd mcclendon another manager there eric davis one of the
all-time fucking greats i had all these cards in 1990. That's totally right. All the score.
Yeah.
Dave Magadan,
Terry Steinbach,
Jim Eisenreich,
Darren Dalton.
He is out of his fucking mind now,
by the way,
talking about aliens and shit.
Oh,
he's out of his fucking mind. Phillies,
right?
Phillies.
Yep.
Chris Sabo,
Rick Aguilera,
Walt Terrell.
And in the 16th round,
414th overall, the Boston Red Sox choose Oil Can Boyd.
That's got to be like a college graduation that you know nobody.
Listening to all of those names, 400, and there were more.
Oh, there were so many more.
Rick Aguileraera who's a you know
longtime great there he was drafted in the 37th round 803rd overall oh my god so chris sabo the
30th round wow i think he ended up going to college though and then redrafting and signing later on uh so 80 81 in 80 he plays for elmira who which is the rookie ball
there 248 era smoking people seven and one with a 240 80 ra not bad at all just killing it uh 79
strikeouts in uh what is this how many innings 69 innings so more than a strikeout per inning so
you're going to get a promotion, and he does.
In 81, he goes to Winter Haven, Florida, where he's 14-8 with a.363 ERA.
So not too shabby at all.
And this is when his main problems start.
We've talked about rot-gut whiskey.
We've talked about smoking Mississippi dirt weed before little league games but this is when
he discovered cocaine oh you know oh are in the majors his true true love in life yeah cocaine
he loves it so so much how do you how do you learn about it well he says quote this is right from his
book quote my trouble started in 1981 that's when i first really
learned about cocaine uh was in columbia in 81 well columbia in 1981 right if you're if you're
gonna learn about cocaine yeah i feel like that's probably the place to learn it uh is in columbia
in 1981 you go to columbia to learn about uh three three things. The ladies, coffee, and cocaine.
That's like saying I first learned about LSD in San Francisco in 1966.
You'd be like, perfect.
Perfect timing.
Probably a good time.
Great time on that.
That's great.
He said, a couple of us ballplayers were on vacation down there.
I kept noticing this one lady walking around the hotel
down by the beach, all the time in a sundress. She was a very flamboyant white lady, and one day I
heard her speak. She was asking an employee something, and right away I realized that she
ain't just from the States, she's from someplace around where I'm from. So I got to talking with
her and her husband. Turns out they were from Memphis. He was a brilliant, rich guy who spoke like seven languages.
Anyway, the two of them invited some of us up to their room.
Ooh, that sounds creepy.
Yeah.
That sounds gross.
He must be really cool.
Yeah, my husband's really cool.
He's brilliant and rich and super cool.
You have no idea.
He loves it when I bang ballplayers two at a time.
It's his favorite.
But it wasn't that kind of party.
Instead, he said, when I got up there or when I got in there, the whole damn table was full of cocaine.
Oh, yeah.
He said, I was naive.
I didn't really know anything about coke.
I tried a little bit.
We hung out a while and then we left.
Later, I noticed I didn't want to eat anything and I couldn't sleep.
Well, yeah, that's like we've said before that's the present those are the symptoms couple of
side effects yeah is it a baby should it be alive and it's not that's one symptom and then
did you snort something can you not sleep and don't want to eat those are the symptoms yes
he said um but i really didn't pay that much attention to it.
I said, I guess this is what this shit does.
Well, yeah, that is what that shit does.
Fantastic, isn't it?
That's right.
That's when he discovered it and was like, I like this.
He put that little feather in his cap.
82 is when he first comes up to the major leagues for a brief time.
This is the Boston Red Sox, 1982.
They finished third in the al east 89 and 73
manager ralph hauck who's been a manager since forever i think ralph hauck was the manager
when maris and mantle were trying to get 61 home runs well i think he was the manager of the yankees
back then so that tells you he's been around a while. This team consists of Jim Rice, Chilly Concarney Lansford, obviously.
Dwight Evans, Carl Yastrzemski still on the squad.
Wow.
Wade Boggs is like a 24-year-old kid who doesn't even start.
Right.
That's the team we're dealing with.
It's a team of a lot of veterans and shit like that.
Even the pitching staff is Dennis Eckersley, Bobby O'Had'hara mike torres my god they've been around yeah you guys who are uh bruce hurst is on that squad
so he said that uh he gets back after columbia and he said then i was back in the united states
and it was like i what i did down there i left down there i went to spring training then to
boston then out on the road i
did never see coke he goes that was 82 the year i got called up and i went the whole season doing
what i always did smoking pot every single day but i never thought about it nobody on the team
ever talked about it any real drugs any cocaine or anything like that it just wasn't around and
it was just something i tried once in my life so so it wasn't no thing to me. Fair enough.
Yeah, he says about, this is what he says about weed.
Quote, I smoked dope every day.
I started when I was 12 and I never hit it. I was such a thinker, my mind was never idle,
but when I smoked, I got locked in.
I was so focused I couldn't hear anything else on the field.
I became creative, like an artist doing a painting.
A little blue here, a little red there,
a curveball here, a slider there. It got to the point where the first baseman billy buckner
as you remember from the uh the uh going through ball going through the legs fame also has like
2700 career hits he's a great player but ball went through his legs once fantastic you know
he said bill that's a shame, man. One mistake.
And it wasn't even a mistake.
He just was too hurt to get down that far.
He shouldn't have been in the game.
That's the manager's fault.
They should have pulled him for a defensive replacement,
but they were trying to be nice.
They wanted him to be on the field when they won,
like a veteran and, you know, anyway.
And it hit a rock, too, or some shit, right?
It had a weird bounce, but he still should.
It didn't even have a weird bounce.
The glove, like the force a weird bed the glove like
the force of nature made the glove like flop weird like it was the weirdest thing i've ever
seen in my life in slow motion it looks like angels in the outfield type of shit like there
must have been an angel pushing the glove to the side that's what it looks like because that was
the in the slow motion it really looks like that. Like, how'd that happen? Like when you'd see an old David Blaine card trick,
when it would be slow motion and a card just disappears and reappears somewhere,
and his hand being near it, and you're like, how the fuck did that happen?
That's what the glove did.
It doesn't make any sense.
Yeah.
He said, so Billy Buckner would come over and say, quote, are you high?
If I wasn't, he'd say, go get him some.
So get this guy high he pitches please please
that year in spring training ralph hauck said quote he throws the bleep out of the ball
yeah the shit say shit he said bleep uh he has the best stuff in camp and he's got a good curve
there you go he said he split the season in 83 between triple a and the bigs he said then in
the off season,
this is more Coke stuff.
I got a call from some old college teammates who were living in Chicago.
So I went to stay with them for a while.
We didn't know anything about drugs in college,
but here it was three years later and we're in the big city.
So I go out to a club with them one night and they got a little pile of
cocaine.
He always talks about Coke in terms of piles,
pile size, which is a weird, not in terms of piles pile size which is a
weird not in terms of weight or anything like that just big piles or little piles it's fucking
my friend's got a couple of grams no it's a fucking pile you mean little piles or big piles
he's a fifth size piles what is he saying how big of a pile are we talking about here
he says i snorted some but then on the way home, I started throwing up.
That stuff messed me up.
I did not like it.
I didn't even think of it as an experiment.
It was like I tried some food that I didn't like, and so I wouldn't eat it anymore.
So done with Coke, everybody.
He's good now.
Right.
Good now.
Just sick from pancakes, and now Mabel turns his stomach.
I can't even smell it, he stomach. I can't even smell it.
He says, I just can't smell it.
He says, after Chicago, I went back down to Mississippi where I got together with Karen, my future wife, and put her up her with a lot of shit.
Of a lot of shit.
That's my comment.
But still.
Or Saint.
Go on.
Or Saint.
I'd met her in Pawtucket and she came with me to stay at my apartment in Jackson.
One night, some of my friends from Meridian came over.
We were just sitting up there playing cards or whatever, and one of them said, quote,
Y'all ever did any cocaine?
So that means I have some cocaine or want to get some cocaine.
He says, some of us did a little bit together, and it wasn't that bad this time.
So now it's okay again.
Coke has eased its way back into his good graces, we'll say.
So in 83, the Red Sox were 78-84.
He ended up pitching.
He was 4-8.
He only pitched in 15 games, started 13 of them, had a.328 ERA.
So not too shabby.
In 82, his ERA was.540, but he barely pitched, so it doesn't matter.
He pitched 8.1 innings in 82, so who cares?
This is where the Boston media starts to talk to him
because he's always got a crazy quote, and they like him.
They kind of make fun of him at the same time,
which is silly because this is a gift.
The guy's a fucking quote machine.
Just enjoy it.
You know what I mean?
But it's a boss.
Don't be a dick.
It's exactly.
It's boss.
Ah, this fucking guy.
I'm telling you what.
Ah.
This fucking guy.
Spoke fun at the Southern Dummy.
Let's go.
He broke my heart last year.
I'm telling you.
I'm not, that game.
I had money on it.
He broke my heart last year, I'm telling you.
I'm not that game.
I had money on it.
So he says that he referred to his fastball as, quote, dead red.
That's what he calls it. His curveball as, quote, the yellow hammer.
I don't know why it's yellow.
He listed his other pitches as, quote, in shooters or out shooters.
So just pitches with movement in or out.
So, yeah, he's a fun guy.
This is the most interesting later on.
The quote from Cleveland is amazing.
He would piss off the players.
He'd get excited and fist pump and jump up and down
and do shit that today people don't give a shit about really.
You know what I mean?
It's like one or two guys do it.
Nobody gets mad at them. But back then it was like he's hot dog and that guy's out
there hot dog and you know that's sort of bullshit so well the league finds you if you do it yeah
they do it's ridiculous he he makes a good point here uh mark fidrich by the way is bird they call
him bird fidrich who was a fucking eccentric nutbag he would like jump over the line
all goofy he would do like certain rituals
over and over again Turk
Wendell does that weird shit too he's got
some strange thing and Fidrich
would like brush his teeth in between innings and do weird
shit like that he was fucking just
that was character and everyone liked
him for it he says quote
nobody called Bird Fidrich a hot dog and he
did the same stuff.
I got color.
I got character.
I'm the can with five A's.
Oh, boy.
I'm the can.
Like, I'm cool.
Why is it okay for Fidrich to do this shit?
Which is a good point.
Why?
Indeed.
He said, 84, Winter Haven for spring training, and I make the team.
So it's on to Boston for the 84 season.
I'm throwing the ball real good, and I got a nice place in the Grenada Highlands in Malden, north of Boston.
And I'm making, it's a nice place.
I'm making friends and doing well.
Everyone's being nice to me because I'm a celebrity.
Someone offers a little Coke here, a little Coke there.
This is when I started to experiment a little more with it if you're you're doing it molt that's not experimenting anymore
twice as experimenting right yeah maybe i'll give you a third time if you were didn't remember the
second one or something but here's the thing james he's flirting with having a habit therefore he's
experimenting with how much it takes to need this shit every day. Yeah.
Let me experiment.
If I do this much, will I be shaky tomorrow?
That's what I need to know.
What kind of mood am I going to be in?
He says, nothing too serious, though.
I didn't have that much time to mess around anyway.
You play a game, you come home at night, and you have to get up and be at the ballpark the next day.
I started to do a little bit, but I was functioning fine. Of course you are. He said, then I got sent down a little more time on your hands. Ralph, how can I got into an argument when he said something that I took to be
racist or at least racially insensitive? So I got pissed as hell. He sent me down after four starts,
four starts. He said something about me being undisciplined.
Maybe that was the reason, or maybe it was because of the argument.
I'm not sure.
We had an argument.
We had the argument.
And then after my next start, I got sent down.
I wanted to play winter ball the year before.
The Red Sox said no.
Hey, would Sullivan called me in?
And that's one of the owners at the time.
And they knew I wanted to make money.
And they started paying me year-round instead of
just during the season so he said he needed money so then it was after the 84 season and i met this
one guy and we started hanging out a bit he lived up north but he came down to mississippi to visit
that's when i found out that this guy was the biggest coke head i'd ever known
this is quite the fucking story here um okay, here it goes. We were hanging out at this hotel in Meridian and that which probably isn't a nice hotel. I can't. Small towns don't have nice hotels. I'll just say it right now. They have it could be a clean little place, but it's a it's a motor in. They're not expecting anyone to be on vacation there. Right. You know, any wealthy people to come in on vacation and when you
say small town you're you're saying it's a particular population and lower but also there
are places with like a hundred thousand population not a nice place to be found yeah omaha exists you
know what i mean yeah so there you go flagstaff arizona has oh god shit for hotels. Not a goddamn thing. They have like a cabin and like an old Holiday Inn.
And four roadways.
Shit that's in the woods that they're like, isn't it charming?
No.
The bed has spiders.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, it's not charming at all.
This sucks.
He said that we were hanging out, snorting, this hotel in Meridian, and I was snorting a little powder.
But then this guy told me that he wanted some Coke, too.
But he wanted to try it another, he wanted it another way.
I didn't know what he was talking about.
He said, I want it cooked up.
Okay.
This is bad.
What are you talking about, you want it cooked up, he said,
or I said.
He just assumed that I knew about it, but I told him I didn't.
He said, when you buy the powder, just tell whoever's selling it to you to cook it up.
Just say that.
Okay.
That's like you go to the butcher.
You can get a roast and you can say, can you slice it into steaks for me or something?
I feel like it's the same type of thing.
You season that for me?
You do that?
You got like a seasoning packet I could have there?
I'd like that fish there, but can you fillet it out for me there and skin it?
I'd like that roast, but can you rub it?
Can you get a rub on it for me?
Give me a rub.
Same way with your Coke.
Oh, man.
He said, I went to the dope house and I said exactly what he said.
So the guy came out and gave me some shit wrapped in aluminum foil.
I opened it and looked at it.
I thought maybe it was how powder cocaine came before it
was broken up. I didn't know. When I got back to the hotel room, he had me get him a soda and an
ashtray. I didn't know why because he didn't smoke cigarettes. He acted like he had an important call,
a private conversation, and he went in the bathroom. He kept going in and coming out.
I'm in the room doing some lines and he's freebasing in the bathroom and I don't know what's going on.
He poured out the soda. I know
all this stuff now and made a pipe
out of the can, which we've all done with weed
before. You make the carb at the end, you poke some
holes in the top and you
smoke an awful
bowl that tastes like Dr. Pepper
and that's what you get.
And aluminum.
He said that he made a pipe out of the can.
He needed the ashtray for the ashes.
But I didn't know any of that then.
That's how naive I was.
He stayed with me for three or four days.
He had some friends in Memphis, which is only like three and a half hours from there.
So we rode up to see them.
I had my little cutlass and I drove them.
We went to this other guy's apartment.
I was in the living room and they were in the kitchen.
This other guy, he's got water boiling on the stove, pots and tubes and shit laying around like a chemist, which is a bad sign if you know someone isn't a scientist.
You know what I'm saying?
You see beakers and shit.
Get out of there.
That's not a place you need to be.
Beakers and shit and no white coat and goggles?
Leave.
Yeah, beakers and you're like, this man,'t he didn't even graduate high school you leave now if he is not bill nye get the fuck out of there fuck out of the house he said i was
just sitting there snorting some powder smoking a little weed then i smell this crazy aroma i said
what uh what y'all what are y'all doing over there is something burning he called me over
and said hey you want to try this and i said why not what the hell it's a major league baseball
player hey you know shit i'll smoke some crack what the hell so he gave it to me as soon as i
hit that pipe i ran to the bathroom and started throwing up i could hear this guy laughing and
hear the other guy saying,
oh, he's got young lungs.
He's young.
So I came out of there and man, I was feeling messed up.
Hey, you're smoking crack.
That'll happen when you're smoking crack.
With your young lungs.
With your young lungs.
Get your young lungs over here
and hit this crack rock, will ya?
He said we were driving back to Mississippi
so he could catch a plane out
of jackson he was still smoking as we went down the highway jesus he's breaking off pieces and
smoking them and i'm driving but he's real quiet over there he'd talk a bit now and then or every
now and then but he seemed real tired i noticed that his tie was loose and he was sweating he
kept telling me don't speed drive slow it hadn't even really dawned on me that we were doing something illegal.
Yeah.
Smoking crack while you drive is illegal.
None of that sounds, I can't believe people hear that and go, I want to try crack.
Well, yeah, you have to be, what's the allure?
But it's like, you don't see like a dark, a dark dirty lake and go i don't know who wants
to jump in the middle of that well obviously i don't want to go in the middle but the shore
looks harmless enough i can see the bottom there so you wade in a little bit and you wade in and
the next thing you know you're in you're in cracky shores and you're out in the muck you're in the
muck in crack lake it's not good oh my god jesus christ he said all of a sudden i realized that we're both high
i got some weed and some powder on me and this guy's freebasing in the front seat now i was
scared yeah the appropriate reaction probably when he realized he's in too deep yeah oh shit
this is a lot going on right now i was just trying to party fuck man he says quote i almost
missed my wedding that's good that's what you want to do i got so fucked up the day of my wedding
that i almost didn't make it jesus man december 31st 1985 a friend of mine came by to see me and
we went riding i was getting married in about four or five that evening and we just started
getting high early that morning we got high all day all the way up to the time i had to put on went riding. I was getting married at about four or five that evening, and we just started getting
high early that morning. We got high all day, all the way up to the time I had to put on the tuxedo.
I was so messed up that my friend had to dress me. I couldn't even put on my own tux.
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Too fucked up to get married.
When I got to Winter Haven haven in february i
rode into town i rode off into this little drug infested area of town called the boggy bottom
where the haitians and jamaicans lived i was still young i think that's the night it all really
started i'd smoke crack a few times but i still hadn't gotten into that world completely he was still this side of the buoys you know he's still holding tight still in the no wake zone yeah exactly i had 50 to spend
so i figured i'd get a little half gram then go back to the house and get messed up i got a guy
there to hook me up so i saw him and said go get me some of this. He said, what do you want? I said, I want to spend $50.
No, just give me 20.
I said, I'm not going to give you 20.
Take the whole 50 and bring me whatever that'll bring me.
I didn't know what he was talking about.
I didn't know if I know if you got a pile, half a gram of powder, it's $50.
He talks about it in terms of piles.
If you got a pile, half a gram of powder, it's $50, 100 for the gram.
I'm just getting half a gram.
He came back with some shit about as long as my finger.
He put it in my hand and I said, what's this?
I didn't know what it was because it wasn't round, but it was crack.
It was flat.
It was funny looking.
I said, what do I do with this here?
He said, you smoke it, stupid.
Remember the guy in the passenger seat do that shit yeah yeah i don't know if he was telling me just give me 20 because he didn't want to get him
a shitload of it or if it's the old thing like when you buy weed on the street back in the day
you never ask for a dime you always ask for the lowest denomination possible you ask for a nickel
because otherwise if you go you got a 10 you got a dime they're just going to give you a nickel and call
it a dime and take your 10 that's how it works if you don't know shit so that's why you ask for a
nickel and they'll go hang on nicks i got dimes then you know what you're getting but otherwise
you get fucked up like that that's how you buy weed on the street before it was legal places
always ask for nickels yeah Yeah. Unless you know people.
So anyway, he said, you smoke it?
And he handed me a car antenna, broken, bent, with a Brillo pad inside it.
Car antenna.
He said, let me get this in the car. Let me get in the car, he said as he climbed in the back seat.
He turned the light on so he could see what he was doing.
Give me a piece of that.
I gave him the whole thing and he broke off a piece.
He measured it, broke off a little piece and started smoking.
I said, let me try that.
And I've been fucked up ever since.
That's what he says.
Oh, those fucking telescopic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. I've been fucked up ever since I've been fucked up a car and I've been fucked up a car and I've been antenna snap that fucker off and you get the bottom piece it's very thin little yeah brilliant
little pipe yeah it's not bad leave it to a crackhead let me try that and i've been fucked
up ever since he said i went home and smoked we noticed it was a funny kind of high not like a
powder high not like all in piles it's a different high all i wanted was some more so i went and
found the guy again and that same night.
And I said,
get me some more of that.
This time I gave him $300.
Wow.
We're progressing.
We are.
And told me to get as I told him to get me as much as he could with that.
He came back with a handful of rock.
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck?
That's a pile of rocks.
That's a pile.
By the pile and the handful. That's how his measurements rocks. That's a pile. By the pile and the handful,
that's how his measurements go. Well, if it's rock, I measure it by the handful, but if it's
powder, I go by pile. Oh, man. He said, I didn't really know you could have a heart attack and die
from it. I didn't know about none of that. All I knew was that I was going to smoke it. Yeah.
This is 85. This is pre-len bias i think right before len bias happened
too he said man i found myself going down there every damn day yeah that's what happens that's
crack and all i'm thinking is i like this how good is crack that you can buy 50 worth and then
on your second visit james you buy six times as much. Six times as much.
Like, imagine if you went to a weed dispensary and bought $50 worth of weed and smoked it all.
You would not need $300 worth of weed after that because you'd be sleeping.
For quite some time.
With, like, four different Uber Eats orders around you.
Like, just Grubhub containers all over the place.
It'd be awful.
Grubhub and Uber Eats like carousel at my fucking doorbell.
As the Grubhub guy comes down the driveway, Uber Eats is going up.
Fuck, I ordered barbecue too?
God damn it.
I'm so full.
So yeah, he said, I like this.
I didn't know I was getting hooked.
I'm just thinking I like it.
Like going to the ice cream parlor or like your favorite cookie.
You know, just like that.
Just like that.
But more than that, like it's the best pussy in the world or something.
I like it.
That's all I know.
He said, like, it's more than like cookies or ice cream it's like the best
pussy in the world that's what it is i like it that's all i know
i love oil can man this is some good honest shit here fantastic he says quote after practice i'm
gonna go get some of that every fucking day that's beautiful
he said eventually some folks started to notice that i was losing weight he's a very skinny guy
he's 6'1 150 pounds they noticed that guy was losing weight that's what i mean that's what i'm
saying he's a very skinny guy anyway i'd always been skinny but by the time spring training started
and everybody showed up people were like, what's wrong with can?
I didn't even know.
I looked in the mirror and I thought I looked normal.
I hadn't even realized I was down to one hundred and twenty five pounds at six one at six one because he's just smoking crack.
There's just I mean, Jesus Christ.
The eighty four Red Sox, by the way.
He has a four thirty seven average for thirty seven era twelve-12 record this year in 197.2 innings.
So this is his first.
He gets 26 starts.
And it was his first almost full-time major league season where he kind of gets your feet under you and that sort of shit.
So that's under Ralph Houck again.
85.
Team goes 81- 81 that year.
John McNamara comes in now and he's got some problems with other players. Sometimes,
especially here's,
there's a couple of them here.
He lost his,
they used to lose his temper a lot and people would try to calm him down and
then he would get madder or more mad.
And then he would have fights with his own teammates.
Because as we know, his own brother tried to calm him down and he fought his own brother.
So don't fight his brother.
You have no chance of calming him down.
It's not personal.
You just can't calm him down.
One time he and Jim Rice became embroiled in a man.
If you've never seen Jim Rice, he's a big fucking guy.
Like he's one of these guys that
would have like the tight uniform top and you'd see like his fucking pecs bulging he's just a big
strong 40 home run a year kind of guy and uh not a guy that oil can boy should be physically
having a tussle with we'll put it that way they got in a shouting match and boy fucking can got
so mad he challenged rice to a fucking fight.
And Rice was like, I'm not fighting a 125-pound guy.
I'm 220, and I'm going to get the fuck out of here.
But Jim Rice tries to help him out later, as we'll talk about.
So 85 season, he goes 15-13 with a 370 ERA.
That's good.
That's damn good.
In 272 innings, which you will never see that again in baseball.
No one will ever let a pitcher throw 272 innings again. That was common back then, but now it's, I mean, taboo.
Forget it.
You never have it.
200 is like, oh, man, you're pushing the guy.
So he made $177,500 that year, and he spent $182,000 on crack.
No, I don't know if that's true, but I'm sure it's close.
$300 every day.
It's a lot.
So the 86 season, he says, quote, I was working out every day, throwing and running and everything,
and when I'd get through working out, I'd go eat at Mrs. C's Soul Food.
Then I'd walk right out her back door, down the alley, and score.
Everything's going great.
At least he's eating.
At least that's what I'm saying.
He's figuring out to eat before he doesn't want to eat, which is smart.
I'm not going to want this later.
I better eat this now.
He says, then I'd walk right out her back door, down the alley, and score.
Right out of the restaurant, all the crack in the world right out of the restaurant all the crack in the world that just sounds like it's like
an advertisement for disneyland he said my food didn't even get a chance to digest before i was
smoking then i smoked all day and night until the next day i just went home and hid i didn't even
know i was killing myself i didn't know until this one day at spring just went home and hid. I didn't even know I was killing myself. I didn't
know until this one day at spring training when Marty Barrett's wife, Robin, pulled me over to
the side and said, something ain't right with you. You haven't been eating and something isn't right.
You don't look good. I remember I was kind of embarrassed. Well, yeah, because you're smoking
crack every day. Late in the spring training, Dr. poppice called me into the office and asked me
what was going on dr poppice was a team doctor and one of the owners of the team by the way uh who
who uh oil can said he loved like a father and was but in the end he's the silverest of the
silver-haired middle-aged white men as we'll find out knows what he's doing and he's just like well
you're winning games get on out there pal it's fucking crazy uh he said he said he uh the dr pop has called me in
his office and he asked me what was going on he said you messing with drugs i said doc i smoke
weed and i tried a little cocaine so he was honest and he said quote you tried a little cocaine how
did you try it he said i snorted it or he's you know quick can said i
snorted it and uh papa said you didn't smoke it and he said well yeah i did that too obviously
yeah i tried it i mean i tried piles i tried handfuls i got it all i mean all the different
variations so the guy the doctor said shit how often and he said every day like it was nothing like yeah having a glass of orange
juice in the morning what's the problem i don't understand it some vitamin c i tried it what's
the problem so the guy said uh every day and he said every day he said he wanted to run some tests
on me because my eyes were yellow and i wasn't looking so good yeah what he ended up doing is he ends up going to rehab. But the cover story from the team
is that he has hepatitis. So there's stories that he has non contagious viral hepatitis.
That's the story of why he's not there in the beginning of the year in the end of spring
training. But it's not true. His eyes are turning into crack because he's smoking so much. He's
getting a little crack yellow there.
He says, quote, I had the whole cover story about hepatitis, but it was flat out me smoking crack every damn day.
I was smoking cocaine, freebasing, doing crack.
They had all kinds of names for it back then.
But whatever you call it, that's what I was doing.
Oh, my word.
Crack smoke.
So he says, so here it was, 1986.
And when I got back, I was ready to play.
I was starting to get my weight back, learning about the drug and all that,
but I still hadn't admitted to myself that I was hooked or anything.
But I did know one thing, that dope was always on my mind.
You're always on my mind.
Crack was always on my mind.
He is the second person in crime and sports who has always had
something on his mind always one guy yeah that's uh maddie nicanon right that's finished
that was a great episode by the way always on my mind as he's soaring through the air
in a something that you could die doing what's on his mind pussy that's what he said
pussy's always on my mind which is pretty remarkable so he's got pussy and oil cans got
dope he's got crack uh he said dope was always on my mind i was starting to talk like uh i was
it was starting to talk to me like it was a person hey i'm down here this is cocaine come get me
you're gonna animate this guy's life hey sexy yeah this we need a cartoon
of all of this shit like i mean like a full like an hour and a half like a fully animated
film cartoon or like a a season on netflix or like oil cans life or some shit you know
where he's like the debauchery that is yeah
like f is for family style cartoons i feel animation i feel like would be work for this
doesn't have to be that complicated it'd be like brother yeah bob's burgers level of animation
doesn't have to be great nothing could just be hilarious so uh 1986 hi i'm cocaine that's the
second time we've had cocaine talk to a person also
yeah we had eddie johnson with the uh he the guy co money with the little
remember that he was talking to him like cocaine his little pile of coke
this is unbelievable yeah 1986 season comes around um now may 27th uh 1986 uh he said this is fucking amazing he said quote it's the spookiest
thing i've ever seen since opening day for uh 1981 he said quote okay the the uh they're at
playing at cleveland and fog had delayed the beginning of the game yeah fog rolled in they
couldn't see so it was delayed.
So they asked Oil Can about it because he was pitching that day,
and he said, hey, when you build a building on the ocean,
what do you expect?
You expect fog.
They should blame themselves for building it on the ocean
because, as we all know, Cleveland is oceanfront property.
I get that that has a big lake that you can't really see the end of. because as we all know, Cleveland is ocean front property. Um,
I get that that has a big lake that you can't really see the end of.
You might think that's an ocean until you've ever seen a map of the United States and seeing that that's,
there's no ocean there.
That's like,
he's been on countless planes.
They have the map and the thing,
like he's seen a map of the United States.
He went to college.
This man went to college.
You know what I'm saying?
This is fucking...
He lives in Boston, James.
He knows where the fucking ocean is.
That's what I mean.
It's there, not here.
You had to fly over to here.
What do you think?
The ocean followed you?
James, maybe he's so high he thought he was playing a home game.
That's what it was are
we oh we're oh shit i was blaming boston we're in cleveland well fuck cleveland too then fuck yes
cleveland so beachfront motherfucker he said that the team wouldn't drug test him even though they
told the media they drug tested him and he told the media they drug tested him he said they just
asked him and he would tell him that's a test.
Yeah.
He said, quote, so that was my drug test.
You got me.
Ain't nobody made me pee in no cup.
Asked why he thinks he wasn't tested.
He said, quote, because I was honest about what I was doing and I told him to leave me
alone and I'll be all right.
I learned to deal with it myself because not one time I've ever played baseball had I ever
pissed in a cup.
Not one time. I've never baseball had i ever pissed in a cup not one time
i've never been tested in no form or fashion i'm killing myself but they loved my ability and my
talent and my talent so they condoned it wow yeah they knew he was smoking crack and they were like
i mean if he starts losing we'll talk about it but i mean he's got his era is under four let him
smoke crack if that's what works for him in
school you're asked questions and then you answer them and that's a test that's a test that's his
drug test that's the drug test did you do drugs no yes you passed okay well then no he said yes
oh he did tell them yes it's not like he'd say no and they'd go great honor system he'd say yes
and they'd go fantastic get out there and pitch yes you, you are. Yes, you are. Okay.
So he said he was healthy enough to open the season.
The drug problem was still there, he said, but he had a better understanding of it.
He knew what was going on now.
He knew he was addicted to it.
He kept doing it, but he still knew.
He said, I was just at one point, he said, I wasn't just lying there in the hospital. I wasn't being counseled about what I've been doing and how dangerous it was.
He said the Red Sox were concerned about me stopping.
Dr. Pappas throughout the season kept an eye on me.
Even the last part of spring training after I came back, he had a person live in my house with me.
He had the trainer, Charlie Moss, come by and check on me every day after I left the ballpark.
They did everything but drug test me.
Yeah, exactly.
They did everything but drug test me.
Yeah, exactly.
So later on in the year, he said he would he started doing it more and more again.
Obviously, he said it would go in spurts.
It would get out of control.
He said, I wasn't doing it every day, but on the days I did it, I did it for 12 hours straight.
So he'd binge.
He said, they called me in and told me that if I didn't stop, they were going to put me in rehab.
I said, nah, hell no. I ain't going to no rehab.
This was around the All-Star break when I was pitching real well.
I'm not living like I should, but I'm pitching like hell.
And I'm pitching under this stress knowing that I have these two lives I'm living.
I'm a prowler running the streets at night, sleeping it off during the day.
Then I'm a major league pitcher at the ballpark.
All of my teammates at one time or another came to me and said,
get your rest tonight,
at least one of them every day.
I was concentrating and maintaining
because I knew I had to pitch well
with me living like I was living.
Yeah, if you're living like that,
you have to pitch well.
If you don't pitch well,
then they're going to complain.
That's how it works.
And he knew it.
So he knew what his worth was.
He knew if I keep pitching, I can smoke as much crack as I want.
Wow.
Except to pitch well, which is pretty wild, honestly.
I'm honest with him about it, so it's fine.
They like it.
It's okay.
So this is the time in 86 where this is from his book, and it made a big kerfluffle when it came out in 2012
here. I'll just
quote right from the book. He says, quote,
I smoked crack in the clubhouse
in Oakland. Oh my.
Oh yeah. But only
after a close call on the ball field.
This is insane. I had
brought the rocks with me from
Boston on a charter, but then when I
was out there on the mound, I started to get paranoid.
I wasn't scared that they'd know I was on it.
I was just all of a sudden sure that they'd find it.
It was in my locker.
And then it was like all I could think about.
Damn, they're going to search my locker and find it.
So this is amazing.
So I went in the clubhouse and got the crack and put it under the lining of my baseball cap.
OK, now think about that in the sweatband put it under the lining of my baseball cap. Okay.
Now think about that.
In the sweatband.
In the sweatband of the baseball hat, he put crack rocks.
Pretty much like Jimi Hendrix would do with acid.
Right.
Except crack doesn't, you don't get high from crack like that.
It's not an osmosis thing.
It's just not how you do it.
Seeping in through your forehead.
Yeah.
Not how it works.
So he ends up doing this. He says, rocks in my hat! Ex your forehead. Yeah. Not how it works. So he ends up doing this.
He says, rocks in my hat!
I'm out there pitching in the game.
And if you remember, when I pitched, my hat would sometimes come off my head because he would have this crazy motion sometimes.
And he had like a small hat that kind of sat on top of his head.
So he said, I didn't wear it down on my head.
I had it sitting up on my head.
So of course, what happens?
I fired this one pitch and my hat flew off.
Oh no.
I looked down at the mound and there were rocks all over.
Okay, so now he's standing on the mound.
There's thousands of people there and it's on television and he's got crack all over
the ground.
You can't be picking that up.
Well, he did. He said, I looked down at television and he's got crack all over the ground. You can't be picking that up. Well, he did.
He said, I looked down at the mound.
There were rocks all over.
I picked up a couple of the rocks like I'm cleaning the mound, like I got gravel on the
mound or something.
Because once in a while, a little rock will be there.
Guy will throw it off.
Brush the bump off.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm picking it up, putting whatever I can in my pocket, cleaning that stuff off.
I even mashed a couple of them into the dirt ground them
into the mound with my foot that's when i just went on then i went on pitching and won the game
so that's that just reminds me of the bobby brown thing at the do you remember that the mtv music
awards back in the day it's a famous thing i don't remember it at the time because i was a
little kid but i remember hearing about it later and then seeing the videos and you're like, holy shit. He was performing,
I think at the MTV Video Awards
or one of those type of things
and he's dancing,
Bobby Brown doing My Prerogative
or one of those fucking songs
from that era.
Whatever fucking thing he does.
88 or whatever.
He's dancing,
he's doing his thing
and out of his pocket
flies this obvious bag of Coke.
It's a little packet that clearly has Coke.
Yeah, because he does spins and shit.
Yeah, and he does this thing, and it flies out of his pocket and lands on the ground,
which, I mean, you wouldn't even notice.
Like, it could be anything in his pocket that came out.
It could be the little packet that says, you know, do not eat.
Inspected by?
Yeah, that.
Inspected by?
Who the fuck knows?
Yeah, those silica rocks those things whatever but that would
be fine except then he makes this completely out of the routine dance over to it and a big swoop
at the ground and picks it up and then dances away puts it putting it back in his pocket on tv
he doesn't i gotta give him credit because he like sees it out of the corner of his eye and
he's like what am i gonna do and he just dances over to it and then does this thing like he's like
doing a sweep down like a move and just swipes it off the ground and brings his arm back up and
puts it in his pocket quick and keeps dancing look it up it's fucking with my homie domino
it's so yeah yeah it's so fucking hilarious dude to watch him it's my prerogative oh shit i can snort what i want to
snort it's my prerogative i don't know if he was singing that or the ghostbusters 2 song or what
the fuck he was singing one of those whichever one that is every little step you take i'll pick
my coke up every little step beside me i drop my my rocks that's him yeah oh yeah
it is stunning how how few bobby brown songs i know but i know everything about bobby brown
you do you do you know all the songs though you can't name them but if you heard one you go oh
yeah that one and that one they all sound the same all right all those from like 88 all sound the same every little step that sounds the same as my prerogative
it's it's all the same yeah it is they're all pretty much the same kind of drum just same cadence
but it fucking worked i mean that was pop then though you repeat the formula i mean tell me a
difference in a paul abdul song from that era too it's they're all the same they're all exactly the same song i think i don't know too sometimes there's a cartoon
cat dancing around that's the only difference that you can tell i love that one i wanted to
be that cat so bad ah who didn't so yeah look up the bobby brown video i can't wait to watch that
later today he said quote i knew where to find yeah we'll watch
it when we're done here i knew where to find it in every city i went to it was an easy it was easy
to find all you had to do was tell the uh the bell captain or the cab driver cab that's the thing uber
drivers aren't the same with a cab driver you could be like you could tell them anything you
could be like i need coke i need women heroin and then i
need a prostitute and then i need to kill her and dump her off somewhere and they'd help you with
all of those things if you gave them ten dollars help you with all they would they'd dig in the
hall that was a cab driver uber driver they won't even stop at the fucking gas station to get a bag
of fucking cigarettes for you they They're like, fuck you.
Never mind where it's a Coke. So you're sitting next to a Graco seat back there.
I carry my kids in this.
Yeah, right.
I guess cabs never had like a bottle of water and a phone charger in either.
So you know what?
I guess they're different things.
That's an entirely different person that's helping you.
No shit.
That's a person that would love your lifestyle if they didn't have
bills to pay yeah yeah exactly but they do so they moonlight your lifestyle and just assist you
they're your wingman for bad shit yeah no shit oh man he said uh some cities some nights were worse
than other ones usually you misbehave more at home just because you're at home and you know
where everything is on the road i tried to get my rest a little more. The thing about it is that
in every city I played in, I knew somebody. I knew a relative or somebody I went to college with or
somebody I grew up in Meridian with who had moved to San Francisco or Seattle or wherever. Chicago
was a rough place for me because two-thirds of my college teammates were from Chicago.
We were just young and partying and here it is today and some of them are addicts like hell
some of them are dead and i'm stuck with it uh dwight gooden and i talked about how we both knew
that when it got to be a certain time of night we had to go it was a phobia we both had when it
started getting late and you started drinking you take your ass home or you're going to end up in a
crack house at two or 3 in the morning.
Yeah.
They know.
They know that time.
Like, oop, I'm getting that urge to go to a crack house.
So the 86 All-Star game comes around, the announcement for the team.
Right.
And Dick Hauser is the All-Star manager, and they pick the pitchers because the lineup is chosen by the fans and then everybody else, the manager picks.
It was back then how they did it.
So first half of the season, Cairns got 11 wins for the Red Sox.
So he's an all-star, basically.
He's a lock.
It looked like he was going to be a lock.
But Dick Hauser, the Royals manager, said he wanted to put him on the roster,
but he felt he needed an extra bat on the roster to maximize his chances of winning.
Who fucking cares?
Just pick who's fair.
And then the All-Star game had no bearing on fucking anything.
Winning didn't matter.
No, it was just who's good and watch them play.
So he leaves Kan off the team.
Also, Oil Kan had a $25,000 bonus in his contract
for an All-Star game oh what the fuck
that's a lot of crack you know the pile and the handful you get for that it's a huge pile and a
big handful that's at least a hat full that's a hat full of crack right there you could put it all
you don't even need to put it in your lining just in the rest of the hat it'll sit right on top of
your head full of crack so upon hearing he wasn't named to the all-star roster
he tore off his uniform oh this old gag screamed and yelled at his own manager who didn't pick the
team had nothing to do with um oh yeah tossed a drink at a photographer's face and then with this
stomped out of the team stomped out of the out of the uh meeting there wow so uh
in his underwear yeah he said that he went wild he said quote uh oh don baylor who's
awesome don baylor said quote it was like nothing i've ever seen before
he said he ripped his clothes off out of his locker and threw them around
he swore and called his teammates names and then stormed out uh don baler with this no don baler said quote jim rice and i had tried to calm him down but
he looked right through us and was swearing at the top of his lungs jesus christ he said uh
the bonus money uh a source that knows oil can a friend of his told the media quote he makes $400,000 a year and doesn't have a penny in his pocket.
So that's why he's mad.
He wanted that bonus.
So he recently changed agents.
About three weeks before that, Rice called his agent, his own agent, George Kalifatis with International IMG in Cleveland.
And he said that Boyd is in great financial distress and asked if
this guy would take over for Boyd so he got him a new agent so he said get him some fucking
something a sponsorship who cares put him on a local car commercial get him five grand I don't
care he's smoking crack like crazy he's burning through it you know the size of the pile this guy
needs to maintain big pile so uh the guy ended up saying he would, and that's how that happened there.
So anyway, he ends up coming back to the clubhouse a few hours later, cooled down a little bit.
But he found security guards stationed at the clubhouse door, and they wouldn't let him in.
So he said he wanted to, quote, apologize to John McNamara, the manager, and his teammates.
But the security guard informed him that he wasn't allowed back in the clubhouse.
He said, I thought they were telling me that I wasn't wanted anymore.
And it made me feel like there was, quote, a fire in my clothes.
Yeah.
Okay.
This is the problem, I feel like.
He gets upset and he feels like his clothes are on fire.
And the only solution is to rip them off.
What a strange, strange person.
Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite just shaving his head.
Yeah.
I was hot.
It's just a weird thing to do.
That's bananas.
Fire.
He did it on a baseball field at one point.
That's called anger, sir.
You're burning with rage.
That's what that is you need to
calm down so then he freaked out even more because they weren't letting him in so this turned into a
three-day suspension from the team they suspend him for three games and uh they make him check
into a hospital to undergo emotional and psychiatric testing uh-oh uh you know what what the
fuck are you talking about emotional and psychiatric testing he didnoh uh you know what what the fuck are you talking about
emotional and psychiatric testing he didn't fucking stab a kid in the throat or anything
no fucking ripped his uniform off and argued with jim rice who gives a shit he's a drug addict who
just lost 25 grand of course that's what i'm saying yeah he's pissed that's a lot of crack
he could have smoked so yeah he doesn't need psychiatric testing how about fucking tell him to stop smoking crack yeah that'll that's a thing i looked at the other pitchers on the team and
honestly there's only a couple on here that you know were clear choices above him that were you
know uh don os double a s e by the way no idea he was on the orioles at the time willie hernandez
of the tigers who was good teddy higuera the brewers Willie Hernandez of the Tigers, who was good. Teddy Higuera of the Brewers.
Charlie Huff, who was like 106 at this point.
Yeah, Charlie Huff's the guy who gave up the Reggie Jackson home runs in that three home run game in the World Series.
That's how old.
Fuck, in the 70s.
Ken Schramm, Dave Rigetti, and Mike Witt.
So you could have replaced any one of those guys with a light of can.
It probably wouldn't have mattered.
After the incident, though, a few days later he came back and he says i'm ready
to come back i hope everything is cool is what he told the paper so um who is pissed about it
though not necessarily him but his family's very mad at him for this really oh yeah they're calling
they're saying he's an embarrassment of course course skeeter jr the oldest of the brothers
yeah um he said quote something like this has never happened to this family uh he said and it
really ticks me off just last year when i heard that dennis was late for a game because he was
out chasing his dog that had run off something like that can't get in the way of dennis taking
care of his business dennis is in a position to either bring up the morale of this family or tear down my
family, and we won't tolerate that kind of behavior.
Jesus Christ.
He says they talk about him having the brother has a steady job.
He just built a new home.
He works hard.
He said, everybody thinks Dennis bought it for me.
He didn't.
His new home.
He said, and he takes pride in the fact that he doesn't need his brother's help.
He says, look, I've played more ball than Dennis.
I was playing ball before Dennis knew what ball was.
A lot of what he's doing right now is just a replay of my life, but it's being in the right place at the right time.
And God has blessed Dennis with an opportunity.
I just hope he's got enough sense to do something good with it.
Minimum wage in Mississippi right now is $3.35.
You can't hardly feed your family on that.
That's what Dennis needs to think about.
Can't hardly?
You fucking can't.
Can't at all.
That's at all.
Unless you're, yeah, especially if you're going to eat food.
I mean, you know, like live in an abode of some kind.
Pay electricity.
Live in a structure.
$3.
Have electricity.
He also says that he's just very embarrassed.
He asked that, this is great, the paper quotes him as, quote, he asked that we graciously pardon the recent behavior of his little brother.
He says that, quote, me, my mother, my father, we won't tolerate the way he acted.
Said that he grew up spoiled, Dennis.
He says that he knows his brother was raised better than he acts.
He says, quote, my daddy's a landscaper and he earned a reputation around here as a hard worker.
He did just about every yard in this town.
I won't say we were scared of him, but we obeyed him more than we would the police.
He'd put something on you if you know what I mean.
When grownups came over to visit, we cleared clean out would the police. He'd put something on you, if you know what I mean. When grown-ups came over to visit,
we cleared clean out of the house.
If we interrupted them while they were talking,
he'd backhand us.
Damn.
Jesus Christ.
Spoiled.
That's spoiled.
Dennis missed.
He said that Dennis didn't get all that discipline, though.
He said, Daddy up and left us when he was 12,
as he said before.
And he said that he calls his brother, though was 12 as he said before and he said that
he calls his brother though one of the sweetest guys you'll ever know he says dennis comes home
for long visits in the off season he says quote you ain't gonna believe this but dennis gets all
the little kids in the neighborhood and takes them down to the park he shows them how to hit
pitch steal and he tells them not to throw a curve because they might hurt their arm he said so uh
quote being away from from Dennis so much,
it just makes you wonder about a lot of things.
There's so much going on these days.
You never know what a person's into.
That concerns me.
Obviously, Dennis has a lot of growing up to do.
And then he says, do me a favor.
If you talk to my brother before I do, will you tell him something for me?
Tell him to pick up some of God's grace along the way and throw that across the plate.
Jesus Christ. He's throwing some God's shade at him is what he's throwing jesus tell him to pick up a little bit of god's grace and throw that across the plate get a pile of that and a
handful of that and put that in your hat liner jesus christ that's hilarious some jesus chin
music would you throw some sweet sweet Jesus chin music out there?
He says, Dennis says, quote, I just want to pitch, man.
I can't pitch because he's he's suspended until, quote, certain issues are clarified to the satisfaction of the Red Sox organization.
But there's an incident that comes up that we're going to talk about that the Red Sox feel like he's being persecuted by the police.
This is the general manager. He said that he feels like boyd's being persecuted he said quote there's nothing to indicate that drugs are a problem right now for him and the cops are
persecuting him okay okay um now uh jesus christ this is fucking this is wild. The when all this happens, they talk to his one brother who spoke, asked them to call his father.
He said.
And then his his sister, Dennis's sister in law said, quote, But he didn't.
He said, Dennis, don't like for no one to tell him nothing.
And they said, Do you know what his problem is?
And she said, Your guess is as good as mine.
All I can say, it's sad.
It's just so sad.
So he's throwing away a shockingly good opportunity here for himself uh by smoking crack i don't care what
he says or does that's all fine to me smoking crack is a problem it's a pretty it's it's it's
surprising it really is honestly i mean it's pretty surprising i don't know how much crack
you get for a certain amount of money like he doesn't with the piles and everything like that.
But there are some things I do know how much they cost because I've seen the sales, Jimmy.
I've seen the sales.
Terrific.
These are all from like rural Indiana, by the way.
Oh, my.
What they need.
1986.
So if you find yourself in July of 1986 in rural Indiana, first, kill yourself.
Second of all, do all of this stuff.
Maybe you want to go to the movies.
Maybe you want to see Ferris Bueller's Day Off play.
Oh, I sure do.
Maybe you want to watch Gung Ho with Michael Keaton there.
Oh, no.
Wait, that is a great one, too.
Oh, that's a fantastic movie.
Yeah, it's pretty racist, but it's funny as shit.
It is.
It really is appropriating. Is it appropriating? No, it's funny as shit it is it really is
appropriating it's appropriating it's just a lot of japanese yeah yeah mean to japanese people but
pretty fucking funny anyway so anyway uh poltergeist 2 is playing the great mouse detective
karate kid 2 yeah is playing uh running scared with g Hines. Okay. Yeah. Great movie.
Top Gun, still in the theaters.
Jesus.
Ruthless People, baby.
Fuck yes.
Great movie.
Danny DeVito, Judge Reinhold, and Bette Midler.
Club Paradise.
Club Paradise, which I think is Robin Williams, isn't it?
I don't remember.
Back to School is still in the theater at that time.
Oh, what a crap.
Oh, you lucky fucks.
And then Legal Eagles with Robert Redford and Kelly McGillis.
Oh, no, a serious one.
On the way there, though, you got to stop at Little Caesar's Pizza.
Where you get two large pizzas with everything, which is 10 different toppings.
So two 10-topping pizzas for $9.99.
Wow.
So there's that.
I found other places, too.
You can go over to Shakey's Pizza there.
They have some specials.
They have a pizza for $5.65.
Then you go over here.
There's a place that has a Fridayiday night special crab meat stuffed flounder
for 7.95 which is good if you're not in in the landlocked indiana yeah all you can eat catfish
dinner 5.95 hell yeah jumbo long island iced teas 2.95 all day by jumbo it says one quart oh god that's so much long island a quart of long island iced tea for
three dollars are you fucking kidding me man holy is it only two of those for a gallon
holy that's insanity is it two quarts or four quarts it's four quarts for a gallon right
i don't know i only know drug measurements I don't know. I only know drug measurements. I don't know any liquid measurements.
Either way,
how much for a quart?
$2.95.
I think it's four of them.
That is $12 a gallon.
That's cheap.
That's dangerous for shitloads of booze.
Here's a place,
Arthur's Waterfront Restaurant.
Unique lakeside dining.
We have prime rib and seafood buffet for only $10.95.
Oh, boy.
Sunday's Royal Buffet Brunch, a spread fit for a king, is only $7.95.
So there's that.
What else do we have here?
Oh, auditions.
What is this?
Auditions for singers and dancers at the Grand Banquet Hall.
Holy shit.
This is a fantastic thing here.
What else do we have the
oh my god the uh i found a place called provimi which has a veal cutlet special oh boy and around
it it says veal deal in a bunch of letters a dollar 55 i don't want a veal that costs a dollar 55
prepared that sounds disgusting.
No, I'm not doing that at all.
And then you can go over to the Rib Rack
for their Friday and Saturday special
12-ounce hickory smoked prime rib for $7.95.
On Wednesday, all-you-can-eat ribs, $6.95.
Fuck yeah.
And they have live entertainment.
The Hampton Valley Band's going to be there.
Oh, boy.
Let's see.
The Holiday Inn Southeast has a prime rib and crab leg buffet that night.
That's where I get all my fine seafood at the Holiday Inn.
Holy shit.
The, oh, what is this?
Oh, Picard's Fine Dining.
The elegant taste of veal at an outstanding deal.
That's what it says here. There was a time in american history that veal was like uh filet like they treated it like it was the veal it's so good
no it's not it's not that good it's not that good but it's not that good it's not a filet it's good
if you make veal parmesan it's fucking delicious delicious. Veal parmesan. You got to make in a specific way.
It's not.
You can't just have veal.
It's good.
You can make a veal steak.
It's good.
Veal steaks are good.
Oh, they're really tasty, actually.
They're juicy.
It's fucking delicious.
Oh, you're a pussy.
They're good.
Eat it.
Eat the baby cow, goddammit.
It's not that good.
Take it.
Take it.
Strangle it to the ground and eat it.
I don't fucking care.
I'd rather have a big, juicy ribeye from a full-grown-ass cow.
Oh, you never tried, though.
You really got to try it before you smite veal.
It's fucking delicious.
A veal steak is really juicy.
It tastes like steak, but juicy.
It's almost like prime rib.
It's hard to explain.
Smite the fuck out of it.
Telling you, you're missing out, Chief.
More for me.
So, Ponderosa, which is a shitty shitty buffet there's no stopping the topping sunday bar
oh boy okay 59 cents shit yeah 59 cents 59 cents for anything you want to put on this fucking mound
of ice cream and the ice cream yeah 59 cents all of it here and you can get chopped steak value meals two for 6.99 oh that sounds so awful i don't want
that at all gross july 15th 1986 this is the night of the all-star game yeah this is an hour before
opening pitch he's super pissed off and what ends up happening is two police officers say that uh
oil cans struck them and threatened to shoot them while shouting obscenities and racial slurs at them.
Oh, God.
How much?
File assault charges.
How much crack is he on?
Well, I think they were keeping him from his crack was the problem.
They also said his teammate, shortstop Ray Quinones, and Karen Boyd, Can's wife here,
were also involved in the scuffle but said no charges will be sought against them, only Boyd, Kan's wife here, were also involved in the scuffle, but said no charges will be sought against them, only
Boyd. The altercation happened
at 7.30 p.m. when two
Chelsea police detectives attempted to
question Boyd after he was seen with an alleged
drug dealer. They're under covers
that scope out drug spots, is what
they are, and they saw him go
to a crack spot. And then they followed
him back to his condo, and they were going to fucking talk
to him and be like, yo, boy can don't smoke crack because that's what
happened the week before this is the second time in a week that he's been told to stay away from
a crack house or else he's going to get arrested and you know we don't want to arrest you there
oil can you know what i'm saying wink wink nod nod the owner will be mad at the mayor and then
i'll come down on us so uh yeah, this ended up happening here.
It was the second one.
The last Thursday night, two state police undercover officers warned Boyd to leave a drug dealing area in Chelsea, to which Boyd had driven after storming out of the Red Sox clubhouse.
So he went right from the clubhouse to a crack spot, went to buy crack, but intercepted him and said get the fuck out of here
and then he went back to the team it was like an hour later after that he went back to the team
and said okay try let me in and then they wouldn't let him in so then he had no crack and they won't
let him in so that's why he freaked out even worse that's a recipe for a madman makes a little more
sense now here as well um so they said that since april 2nd boyd has been observed by undercover
officers on surveillance at six locations in chelsea where crack and cocaine are sold so this
is the this is the sixth time in two weeks or whatever that they've seen this going on with
him so they're like pretty good evidence this guy likes crack yeah and they're wanting to talk to
him more than i don't want to really arrest him so much as they want to uh be quite they want to be silver with the situation
they're not obviously if they've seen him six times and haven't arrested him yet they don't
want to arrest him because he's on the red socks yeah and i don't know whatever deal they have with
i don't know whatever so anyway uh police officer here, a guy named McDonald. He says,
quote,
we identified ourselves as police officers and showed our badges.
As I was identifying myself,
void said,
I don't have any drugs.
Search me,
search my car.
Well,
I said,
calm down and identify yourself.
Yeah.
So that whenever you see,
whenever you'd watch like live PD and and they pull someone over like how you doing
tonight and they're like i don't have any drugs you can search my whole car it's totally fine
you're like okay so how much drugs do you have how big is your pile sir
how much did you used to have because you've clearly had drugs uh for and you're worried
about it and that's why you're telling me this. That's why you're telling me. Exactly. That's what I mean. So it's a fucking weird thing here.
So he said, calm down and identify yourself, which I think is fucking hilarious.
Calm down.
He said, quote, we tried to act as professionals and told him to act like a professional, but he wouldn't listen.
Well, he's not on really duty.
He's just a person.
He doesn't really.
There's no professional way to act like a nonprofessionalessional person it's a weird thing to tell somebody to do uh anyway he said at that point a
woman and a man later identified as canones and can's wife karen karen can uh they came out of
the condominium he says quote canones came out and started pushing and shoving me i pushed him back
boyd was pushing and shoving Detective Phillips.
Phillips said that Boyd pointed to Phillips holstered gun and said, I have a gun.
I'm going to blow your head off to a cop, which is not wise.
McDonald, the other officer, said the neighbors came out.
We were in plain clothes, so we identified ourselves to them.
The neighbors were saying, Dennis, go in the house.
They know Dennis. So they're like, Dennis dennis go in the house they know dennis so they're like dennis just go in the house stop stop uh canyones accused us of
planting drugs on him it was crazy that's what the guy says quote boyd kept threatening us with
lawsuits because we were holding his arms he's saying you know you're gonna fuck up my arm
so they radioed for backup uh within minutes they had a couple more people
uniform cops came,
two in a cruiser, one on a motorcycle. One of the officers steered Karen Boyd away from the scuffle.
Police said an unidentified woman with Quinones acted as a calming influence and urged Boyd,
his wife, and Quinones to go inside. So somebody was there who was chilling everybody out.
So a detective filed an application for complaints
of assault against him because uh what happened now he wrote that uh boyd struck him on the right
bicep and that he was threatened by boyd that he was going to shoot me with a gun and that i was
quote dead meat so uh yeah i guess he punched the cop in the arm is what happened he had a big bruise
on his arm and shit here i guess he hit him pretty hard. They said he had a bruised, yeah, a bruised chest and a bruise the size of a baseball on his right bicep is what the press found.
Phillips said that Boyd flipped out when they approached him.
He said that they were on surveillance when they received information from an off-duty police officer who said he had just seen a suspected drug dealer make a transaction with Boyd. So they unmarked police car, followed
him to his silver four-door Mercedes and drove to the rear of his condo and parked. They said
they approached him. He made the, I don't have any drugs and all that shit. Then he says, this is the
police officer, quote, as he turned, he made a quick move with his hand to go to his pocket.
I grabbed his hand and said, take your hands out where we can see them.
At that point, he went completely berserk.
He kept calling us, quote, redneck honky motherfuckers.
Redneck honky motherfuckers. He sounds like like george jefferson i love it that's a that's
the greatest oh man where is this this is in boston this is in boston so then he that's when
he said the i have a gun i'm gonna blow your heads off yeah that came out and uh then as they left
the scene the police officers said they made one final observation.
That was the drug dealer that he was spotted with earlier was then parked in front of his house, in front of Boyd's house.
So they just came over to drop it off instead.
A search of Boyd in his car uncovered no drugs, which I think the guy was meeting him at his house was probably why.
That's weird.
And that's what happens.
his house was probably why that's where and uh that's what happens this is when he's suspended indefinitely by the red socks and they're seeking charges of disorderly conduct and assault and
battery against him uh doing all this shit here so um yeah this is uh interesting the gm lou gorman
said the police twisted his arm and caused soreness that remained and uh that's how that
happened so he ends up missing a road trip and all this sort
of shit um he said quote this is boyd dr poppice told me i'd been seen at a bar reputed to have a
considerable drug trade i'd never even heard of the place it turns out that i parked across the
street to go into a variety store and the police reported that i was outside of the place all right
there were other incidents that angered boyd i
caught a guy going through that he said this i caught a guy going through my trash on my back
porch i started to get paranoid because now people now it's a public thing and now people there's
tabloid people looking through his shit because boston they're crazy for sports july 17th 86 he
checks himself into a hospital for examination including drug tests and all
sorts of shit like that that's the day after they file the complaint for assault officially
July 24th um he and his wife are pulled over for speeding at 5 40 p.m um this is south of Boston
the uh they checked the registration and found that there was an old violation still pending against him, so he's arrested for a ticket from 1983.
They said, quote, he was arrested and brought to the state police barracks, bailed out, and will appear in court.
They said, I think it's an old motor vehicle violation, typical every day, forget to pay it violation.
Happens every day.
He'll go in and have his say with the judge.
So that's what happens.
He pays $25 for a June 11th, 1983 speeding ticket.
And when that happened, it was because he was driving 87 and a 55 trying to get to the stadium.
He said, quote, they were complaining about my not getting to the ballpark early, man.
All I was trying to do was get to the ballpark early. That's all. Doing 90. Yeah. His wife paid a $75
fine for speeding and driving without a registration, and they got pulled over this time
in her possession. They had the car registered. She just didn't have it with her. So July 26th,
he says, I'm ready. Put me in, coach. He said, quote, I've been given medical clearance to return to baseball,
and I am eager to rejoin my teammates as soon as possible.
He said, my medical tests and evaluations have been completed,
and the summary of the results have been given to the Red Sox.
Somebody wrote that, I feel like.
But still, he said it.
So there you go.
He said, I will make no further comment relative to my hospital stay, the assault and disorderly conduct charges with the Chelsea police or my financial status.
Yes, I know I'm broke, arrested in the hospital, but we're not talking about any of that shit.
So it makes me feel bad.
And when I feel bad, I get naked.
I will rip my dick out so fast.
It's not even fucking funny.
He says, I have tremendous support for my
wife and family as well as those looking after my needs so he said he's going to be fine um
his mother said that he was just hospitalized for observation she said i talked yeah
girth area or whatever girthy girthy girthy may yes i don't know something something with sweetie
yeah sweetie said she talked to him last night he's in real good spirits he said it just seems
like things are being blown out of proportion um he says that uh dennis he's not like that at all
it's just the pressure that he's been under. He's been under quite a few strange late strains lately.
Yeah.
He said about it, quote, I'm over emotional.
I'm too sensitive.
And sometimes I act like I'm from another planet.
Yeah, that I'm so sensitive.
Sometimes I cracky.
You know how it is.
I get all cracky and weird.
You know how it goes.
You all get like that, right?
Yeah.
He said, but after reading and hearing about where I'd been and how I was associating with known drug dealers and how
everybody thought I was a drug addict, I had to go prove that I was clean before I could do anything
else. Well, I proved it again. I was tested six times before this and it was negative every time
I went into the hospital and tested negative every time. So that's cleared up. Now I'm on
the way to clearing up the money business people are helping me control my emotions i'm up to 156 pounds and i want the red socks to give me back the ball
okay so he's got his weight back he's ready to go it's ridiculous that anyone thought he was a
crackhead this is where he said he smoked crack every day of the 86 season by the way um so
anyway uh he has a good year that year 370 adra goes 16 and 10 after the distractions
um the 86 red socks 95 and 66 go all the way to the world series yeah to meet the mets by the way
that is the al championship series over the angels where donnie moore gave up that home run and uh
he would he had ended up committing suicide later on for a lot of reasons but a lot of
people think that that home run was like the precipitating thing that goes down we'll do a
bonus episode about it sometime the the downward spiral and suicide of donnie moore but this ended
up happening this is where they go to the world series against the mets this is where ron darling said that that uh lenny dykstra
was hurling racial slurs at oil can before game one to where the judge said uh then lenny dykstra
sued ron darling for libel and the judge said it's literally impossible to libel lenny dykstra
because he's lenny dykstra we have the quotes at the end when the chronological lawsuit comes up. I have the quotes about it.
It's really fucking funny.
It's literally impossible to live with any time.
The language is even worse.
Like the judges, it's so fucking funny.
So anyway, game six is the Bill Buckner game that we talked about before.
So the series is tied 3-3.
Game seven, who's going to pitch?
It's a big deal.
Boyd is fully rested and ready to go.
Ready to go.
Game 7.
And they say, nope.
They turn to a different pitcher.
They turn to Bruce Hurst instead that day.
And they do not pitch Oil Can.
McNamara and the pitching coach since then alleged that Boyd spent the day drinking beer and was too drunk to pitch that day.
That's why they didn't pitch him.
I believe that, right?
That's possible.
Do I believe that, though?
I don't know.
In the World Series Game 7, you're not drinking.
You're not pulling yourself.
He did smoke crack every day, so I'm not sure.
Might have just been smoking crack.
We don't know.
He said about it.
They asked Can about not pitching in game seven.
He said, it hurts so bad, but what can I do?
Bruce is on a roll.
That's Bruce Hurst.
And Mac thinks the Mets have a better left-handed lineup to hit against a righty.
It's just that it was my turn, and after all I've been through, I'm sorry, but my sensitivities are going to show through every time.
Don't blame you there.
He does make $375,000 that that year which is a large hat full of crack
um that's like a shirt full like a papoose full of crack it's a lot yeah yeah you can pull the
bottom up yeah just totally you can do it like uh what's his name in the fruit yeah was it that had
the the uh keith mccance yes the fruit stealing the fruit so uh So February of 87, he takes the Red Sox to arbitration here.
He requests a $320,000 raise, and it's denied.
So there's that.
I want twice my money.
Yeah.
So far, there's been 21 cases that year of arbitration, and the owners won 14 and the players won 7.
So not going well for the players.
Spring training, 87. owners won 14 and the players won seven so not going well for the players spring training 87 he is arrested and the team must pay a video store for overdue videos that's why he's arrested
because he kept videos for a year oh he had videos for a year. That's one way to pay three thousand dollars for a major league.
They must cut it off at some point because they paid the video store.
I don't know if they made a deal with them or what.
Two hundred sixty seven dollars and twenty four cents on the movies he rented in the previous spring training.
So a year.
Would you like to know what the movies are, Jimmy?
I would love it because I have all of them.
How many are there?
Let's see.
Five.
One, It's Alive,
which is a horror movie
that they remade in 2009.
From 1974.
And here it is.
The Davies expect a baby,
which turns out to be a monster
with a nasty habit of killing
when it's scared.
And it's easily scared.
Oh, boy.
The cover says, quote,
the one film you should not see alone.
So he likes some horror.
Then he picked up Ninja 3, The Domination.
What?
From 1984.
Who's in that?
Which is like a ninja karate movie.
Quote, an evil ninja attempts to avenge his death
from beyond the grave by possessing
an innocent woman's body.
This is what he's renting.
These are movies that a crackhead watches.
Tagline, he's the ultimate killer.
She's the perfect weapon.
God damn it.
Next up, Fist of Fury, 1972.
Really?
Bruce Lee.
Yeah, Bruce Lee.
It's a good pick.
There you go.
The next one, the next two are adult films that he's rented and kept.
What?
One is called Sexetera, which I can't find because Playboy TV apparently made a series
called Sexetera in the 2008 or 2009 or something, and they have like 86 episodes.
Oh, no. That's all that comes up for it so i quit after like page five i'm like how important is this really it's really
not so it's a porn we know that there's a word sex in the title and then this is my favorite
because i feel like he rented this and didn't know what he was renting he rented this he's like hell
yeah and then was probably watched and was like man this sucks it's called nudes in limbo okay it's from 1983 quote the video is a series of short pieces of very buff nude
people the models don't speak in the backgrounds are solid colors with no decorations to let you
know where the models are there's no sexual shit and then it's just just naked dudes playing limbo that's not even because
at least you'd see some vagina at that point no that's what i said it's naked dudes but
naked dudes they're ripped dudes dangling it's just it's just balls and taint that's it all
it's all taint all the time to that awful song about limbo here's a review of it this is one
of my favorite films i don't know if this is boyd's review or what it's designed in an artistic
manner that would never appeal to those seeking sexual excitement so boyd's got his dick in his
hand like man what the fuck am i watching somebody gonna fuck somebody or what
he only read the reviews i want to see a dick get sucked man what's happening
he said it has slight erotic tendencies but could be shown to minors who would be interested in an
artistic nude film let's not show this to children it's less graphic than the average art studio
it has both men and women you get to see balls the move this movie was created by seth green not
that one he was a small child at that point uh who later became the originator for the other uh
for other high profile tv shows like buffy the vampire slayer so put those together if you're
into figurative art or simply like to see beautiful bodies in motion this movie's for you so there you go by the way it also has um what's his name ted prior in it
who's a famous shitty b action movie guy um if you've watched any of the best of the worst he
has a movie called deadly prey which is just fucking hilarious what's his name ted prior prior he's in it um doing male modeling so uh was he in
that yeah that one so the team that year goes 78 and 54 fifth in the al east in 88 so uh not going
great he does say there's other addicts around and it was nice to see them he says only another
addict on the team can tell you what I'm saying and what I'm feeling.
Once I was on the bus or driving to the ballpark, I couldn't wait to eat and just hang out.
I couldn't wait to get to the ballpark because at the hotel I hadn't eaten because I was getting high.
Makes sense.
So when I got to the ballpark, I'd get something to eat.
Then I'd get undressed and go take a shower.
All the guys who get high know what you're up to.
The other guys didn't know. They were naive. Some guys knew what i was doing because they'd been there too they'd come
to me and say i know what you're doing they know your behavior but they also always protected you
so that's not great so 87 he has a 589 era and he only goes one and three not good not good makes Not good. Not good. Makes 550 grand, though. Wow.
Yeah, a little raise.
88.
The team goes 89 and 73, making them first in the AL East, but they get swept by the A's in the ALCS that year.
Okay.
Yeah, so there's that.
They hire a new manager, Joe Morgan, not TV analyst and Hall of Fame player Joe Morgan, an old guy named Joe Morgan.
Some guy named Joe Morgan.
Some guy named Joe Morgan that they were like, oh, shit, we hired the wrong guy.
Seen it happen.
Seen it happen.
Oil Can says Joe Morgan's a racist, is what he said.
He said, I think Morgan believes black people have green tails and green blood.
I don't know what that means.
What?
Thinks they're lizards or something.
I don't know.
Morgan was bad for me.
He felt blacks couldn't pitch.
He felt they couldn't think out there on the mound.
So, yeah, he says he thought that was racist.
And then he also called Billy Martin a racist as well.
We've talked about plenty of we can listen to the Ron LaFleur episode and get plenty of Billy Martin.
During the 88 season, Billy Martin complained to one of the umpires about the gold chains that Boyd was wearing around his neck, saying that it had become distracting for the hitters.
OK, now this is standard.
Now you can't go out there really with a gold chain because it's they don't let any that they have the batter's eye like there's no distractions at all now billy martin would do this just to fuck with people that's what he did he
would uh the whole thing of uh remember the george brett uh freak out when he comes out of the dugout
like he's going to kill somebody that's because they knew that there was a lineup fuck up but
they waited until afterwards to tell them about it to piss off George Brett.
That was all calculated.
Billy Martin's a psychopath.
So he did that.
And the umpires ordered oil can to remove his chains.
And after the game, he said that Billy was, quote, a bigot and a redneck, which is fucking hilarious and also true, but also funny.
a bigot and a redneck which is fucking hilarious and also true but also funny so uh august 1988 he goes so undergoes some medical tests at umass medical center and uh but he's diagnosed with
having blood clots in his arm so this is what he's been hurt kind of and this is why about two
centimeters long in the main artery into the arm and an area in the front of the right shoulder.
So that's a big problem for him that he's going to have to take all these different medicines.
For the next couple of years, he's going to inject himself three times a day with a blood thinner to keep it going.
And he's got to do it himself.
How long are they?
Three inches?
Three inches blood clot.
They're three centimeters. Centimeters, Three inches. Three inches. Blood clot.
They're three centimeters.
Centimeters.
Not inches.
That would be really long.
That's a huge blood.
That's a long one.
So, yeah, he said that he said that basically there's a he's talking about weed here. He said there's a difference between a weed high and a high that lets you know, don't
bother me.
Nobody ever knew when I was high on weed because I was never not high on weed.
He said a reporter at once asked me how many games I pitched when I wasn't high on weed.
None.
Well, I started a few without smoking up, but I didn't like it.
I'd be warming up in the bullpen and I'd hear the fans and the vendors and the damn drink machines and it's distracting.
That's fucking great.
That's a great point.
It's true.
That's my problem.
I got to focus.
I smoked during games.
I've gone out to my car during the game and smoked weed or crack.
During the game.
What?
I've gone out to my car during the game and smoked weed or crack.
That's a long way out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He smoked crack in the Oakland Clubhouse bathroom as well there.
And this is in the parking lot at Fenway.
In between innings, I'd go through the back door, out to my car in the garage, smoke up, then run back into the clubhouse.
A few times I was almost late getting to the mound because I was running back down the runway.
I had to use the restroom, I'd say, but I'd been out in the parking lot.
Wow.
So that's, yeah, one, two, three inning happens and he's like fuck god damn it that's my point like it's so take some pitches from the field to the fucking
parking lot that is wild i mean it's pretty close to their clubhouse doors closer for the players
it's not right there it's not like it's parked outside the door so uh he said but that's how
many of us were back then tim raines told me a story once and this is a famous one he said, but that's how many of us were back then. Tim Raines told me a story once, and this is a famous one.
He said he slid into and stole second base,
and when he slid, a vial fell out onto the ground.
He said the umpire looked at it and said, what the fuck?
And before he could see what it was,
Tim picked it up and stole third on the next pitch.
He's gone.
Then there's a base hit, and he crosses home
and keeps on running right into
the clubhouse so he can hide it so he can do it so he can do it and slash hide it so 88 season he
is nine and seven uh can is 534 era he's got blood clots for christ's sake so it's not good i mean
yeah i don't know how you would pitch well with blood clots. Makes 550 grand. That's good. It's crack money.
89, team goes 83-79.
They're third in the East.
He goes 3-2 with a 4-42 ERA.
Only starts 10 games.
Not good.
Makes 550 grand.
November of 89, he's a free agent, and Boston says, have a good one, asshole. See you later.
They get rid of him.
This is when he comes out and he starts being public about some incidents that he considered to be racially insensitive, as he puts it in the dugout.
Okay.
Now, this, I think it's a little more than racially insensitive if this shit happened, but that's how he put it.
He said, quote, he said, some players went out of their way to tell him racial jokes in the clubhouse.
He said, I heard slave jokes lots of times.
Oh, no.
Which is crazy.
One of the players there, I won't say who, except that he's headed for the Hall of Fame.
By the way, it's Wade Boggs because he talks about Wade Boggs being a fucking bigot later on.
So that's who he's talking about, I believe.
Told me I was the first black pitcher I he'd ever seen.
Pitcher, meaning I wasn't just a thrower.
I didn't know if that was a compliment or not.
He was talking about intelligence, not ability.
Then the more I thought about it, the more I didn't like it.
Like no other black men could think when they were on the mound.
I grew up in Mississippi.
I grew up being called N-word, N-word, N-word every day.
I grew up with separate washrooms.
I was used to being looked at as a specimen not as
a human being so i don't want to hear why blacks got big lips or big hands or all those jokes i
don't want to hear no slave jokes they were just supposed to be jokes sure but the guys who told
them knew it would upset you and they didn't care i'd laugh along so as not to fight but i wasn't
laughing on the inside that kind of stuff messes up a lot of young ball players in the boston
organization i'm sure yeah he's saying he had to be the sammy davis jr there and he didn't fucking
like it you know what i mean don't blame him uh if that's true that is fucking awful so uh marty
barrett who's one of the uh players his wife is the one who told him he looked awful as a matter
of fact he said that most of his view was that the teammates didn't know what to make of him.
So most of them gave him a wide berth.
He says that he went out of his way to get acquainted with oil can.
And he said, quote, You got to understand that Dennis can be your friend one day.
And the next day he might not want to talk to you.
He said, We all knew he came from a rough upbringing in Mississippi.
All the racial stuff, stuff he went through. And i think he just had that anger inside of him one little thing wrong
could set him off nobody knew it from one day to the next what his mood was going to be in
so everybody let him do his own thing it wasn't a racial thing at all we just all thought he wanted
to be left alone he's also on crack is the problem too so a guy with different levels of i'm high today i'm not
high right now shit like that their their attitude or their moods are going to be up and down
yeah i think that's from from can's point of view from what he said that's what his mood swings were
basically is it wasn't a matter of that sometimes he'd be pissed off at particular people but he
didn't want to be left alone type of thing so uh ellis burks
who i loved ellis burks he's a great fucking player uh he was also born in mississippi and uh
and a black red sock as well he said that boyd was a generous friend who was misunderstood by
the fellow teammates he said quote he was like a brother to me uh he's a great man a good family
man around the clubhouse people thought of him as real loud
because of that all-star game incident but he's a soft-spoken guy when you get to know him so uh
yeah they talk about this was the time that uh it was weird um he gets mad because wade bogg says
he's a sex addict because he got caught cheating on a bunch of on his wife with a bunch of people
okay so he goes hold on a second.
Now Boggs gets sympathy for this shit
when they were bitching at me for doing drugs for all this fucking time?
Yeah.
He said, quote, a disease was overtaking Wade Boggs for four years.
I got to go to a psychiatrist because I got mad.
Here's a guy who says he's a sex fiend.
Now who needs a psychiatrist?
I mean, yeah.
Sorry, but you got a point chief if
you're fucking messes up your whole life you need a psychiatrist worse than the guy who gets mad
because he didn't make the all-star game and lost 25 grand it's a big deal now more i can't do
anything without putting his cock in something sticky and warm yeah well he's got more for bogs
here here's what he says about wade yeah quote he a bigot. It's ingrained in his family history. Coming from central Florida, that's just what you hear growing up and learning, hearing and learning. He was protected by baseball then, and nobody will say anything against him now. The Red Sox don't invite me to anything that Wade's going to be at because they know I'll kick his ass. He wasn't at the 100th anniversary celebration right i was
there you go so to this day oil cans looking to stop some bogs ass for his racial that is amazing
that is hilarious i'd love to see a 60 year old oil can sock wade boggs because i fucking hate
wade boggs i hated him growing up Fucking hated him with his little slapping bullshit.
I'm going to win a batting title because I slapped
the ball in a hole. You
fucking pussy. Oh my god.
I always thought he wasn't half the
fucking ball player Don Mattingly was and he got
so much fucking credit because I hit
.353 this year. Nice singles,
asshole. Terrific. It'll be a swing for
fucking a double once in a while.
Dipshit. Sorry sorry he drove me nuts
with his six home runs a year fuck you so december in every video game he was a lock if you had him
you were fucking smacking you were smacking balls you were gonna you were gonna hit a line drive
through the left side there so december 7th 89 he signed by yeah by Jimmy. I don't know. 89?
The Montreal Expos, Jimmy.
He's signed by the Expos.
Yeah.
Under manager Buck Rogers, which is a fact.
Really? His name is Buck Rogers.
Absolutely.
They finished 85 and 77, so mediocre.
This is a team that has Andre Scalaragaala raga delino de shields tim raines
young larry walker there's a lot of talent on this fucking team moises aloo at 23 years old
yeah man a lot of really good marquise grissom 23 years old marquise grissom's on this team too
also otis jr nixon jr is on this team which is amazing um dennis martinez is on this team a lot of good guys
uh now dennis has a great year this year 10 and 6 with a 293 era in 31 starts so he's back that's
his second highest start total of his career 31 and that's the best era he's ever posted so
i mean on his on his baseball card did it say uh oil can a lot of
them did or they'd say dennis oil can boyd okay but yeah very rarely did they say dennis boyd
because at this time i had so many expos cards and never once got one of his really i never had
an oil can boyd card interesting that's weird he made 400 grand this year yeah i had oil can cards definitely
um now one incentive was he would get a 250 000 bonus if he started 32 games that year okay he
started 31 games that year the motherfuckers robbed him so many times last day of the season
he uh the managers chose to start a rookie, Scott Anderson, instead,
because they're looking at rookies for the next year.
Wow.
And it cost him $250,000.
Let him pitch three innings.
Who gives a shit?
Just get him out there to get him his fucking bonus.
The Players Association filed a grievance, and they ended up having an arbitrator look
at it and all that sort of shit.
And they settled it what?
Nothing, I don't think.
Wow.
I don't think they don't think that shit for
it i think it was basically you didn't hit it it wasn't in your con that's what the number was
fuck off basically that's not fair man yeah he says he didn't bother him though he says it's
not a distraction one bit i don't wake up no day thinking about it i'm not searching to leave i
want to play right here i got gold gloves at either corner with tim wallach and andre scalaraga
good management great teammates we got a melting pot of guys on this team there's no room for any here. I got gold gloves at either corner with Tim Wallach and Andre Scalaraga. Good management. Great teammates.
We got a melting pot of guys on this team.
There's no room for any bigotry.
Those guys in Boston wouldn't fit in here.
They'd kick them out of the clubhouse.
In Boston, I always said
I needed no friends. I need respect.
Here I get both.
He says, quote, in Montreal, a black
man is just a man. Skin don't
dictate the way a man is judged.
This is the place for a black man to play.
Ain't no slave jokes up here.
So there you go.
As long as you speak French.
As long as you, well, yeah, if you don't speak French, that's another problem.
Spring of 1991, there's Sports Illustrated does a big old fluff piece on him.
Is that right?
Big old fluff piece.
Quote, the can's a new man.
Oh, boy. He
says, I feel like I came back from the dead a little
bit playing with the Expos.
And then all the players say he seems
so much more mature now. He's still got that
fire, but now he's mature. It's even better.
He's great.
July 21st, 1991, he's
traded for nothing, a player to be
named later, to the Texas Rangers.
Oh no. Yeah, the Texas Rangers. Oh, no.
Yeah, the Rangers, 85-77 that year.
Bobby Valentine, the manager, who he loves, by the way, loves Bobby Valentine.
This is a, listen to this lineup.
Pudge.
Pudge Rodriguez, Rafael Palmeiro, Julio Franco, Juan Gonzalez, Ruben Sierra.
That's in your starting lineup. That's a lot of bombers. That's a lot of fucking bombers right there sierra yeah that's in your starting lineup that's a lot of bombers
that's a lot of fucking bombers right there 91 that's dolan ryan um yeah 91 there he goes two
and seven with a 668 era uh-huh and makes 1.5 million dollars wow for that garbage his career
for that so october 31st 91 he uh he's a free agent uh the blood clots are back in his arm
which is why he's pitched like shit the whole last year he just didn't want to say anything
because he was trying to stay on 1992 he goes to the pirates in spring training really and uh the
pirates he said were not giving him a fair shot so he left camp okay took off doesn't play for 92
and that's a good 90 And that's a good team.
That was a good team back then.
That's Bonilla and Bonds, isn't it?
That is, and yeah, Bonilla, Bonds, and all that shit back then.
Who's that blonde pitcher they had, Young?
No.
They had a shitload.
They had Dre back then.
It's Dre back then.
They had Tim Wakefield back then.
They had all those guys.
93, he wants to sue the Red Sox.
and all those guys.
93, he wants to sue the Red Sox.
He threatened the Red Sox through a lawyer for not inviting him to spring training.
Okay.
The lawyer said...
They didn't invite me.
I got no invite, right?
I could have given it a shot.
The lawyer said that, quote,
in view of the Red Sox' mediocre pitching prospects
for the coming season,
he could find no apparent baseball reason
for the team's rejection of Boyd's overtures.
That is hilarious.
That is so fucking funny.
I'd like to press charges against the Phoenix Suns also
for being dead last in the NBA,
zero prospects being brought in.
My phone didn't ring.
It's not like they were trying a lot of five,
seven white point guards. They weren't trying it very often. So how did they know it wasn't
going to work? They should have given you a shot, right? They never even tried it. Jimmy,
you should totally sue. I think I've got a leg to stand on here. It's pretty good.
He said, I could be getting blackballed. And if it's not that, I don't know what it is,
but I'm going to find out. I have to find out.
I can't just sit here.
There you go.
He said, burning bridges, what's that got to do with it?
What's that got to do with my pitching?
That's my character.
I'm an emotional person, but it has nothing to do with getting guys out.
Winning for you.
I can still win.
That's all a team should care about is I can still pitch.
The only teams that didn't care about that so much were a bunch of Mexican League and
minor league teams, though, from now on.
94, he goes and plays with Sioux City, which is great.
He has a 189 ERA there, though, and 4-1.
Are they the Sarsaparilla?
The Sioux City Sarsaparillas.
Yes.
The Sioux City Spurs Spurs Spurillas.
1995 spring training.
Now, 94 is a strike year in baseball, which continues through the spring training of 1995.
People forget that.
He goes and crosses the picket line and plays with and tries out for the White Sox.
Oh, really?
I don't give a fuck about that shit yeah um while in spring training by the way his locker is like two feet or it's his
locker another locker and then michael jordan's lockers right there which is fucking hilarious
yeah how interesting is that yeah so he was right there um he says nothing's changed. Not the way I throw.
Not the way I act.
Not the way I am.
It's the same old can.
Yeah.
I'm going to be fine.
He says his stuff is as good as it ever was.
White Sox management says they don't like his velocity.
He's not throwing hard enough.
But he says he doesn't need velocity.
He's a finesse pitcher.
And he says that it's bullshit to think that he needs philosophy.
He says baseball people just think that a black pitcher can't be a thinker and that we all have to overpower people like
dwight dwight gooden which by the way this the next year dwight gooden threw a no-hitter being
a total finesse pitcher because he had nothing left that he didn't have his fastball anymore
um but other uh other players say can you can you prove them all wrong it's like the quarterbacks
blacks can't be quarterbacks, right?
The stereotype was once upon a time that black pitchers have to throw 100 mile an hour.
The black ball players, they were proud for me proving everyone wrong.
Then he says, they said that about 12 teams showed interest in him that year,
but the White Sox said they would give him a chance to stick around even after the strike was settled.
So he wanted to play there.
He said, I'm not going to replace anybody.
I just want to be back in the show.
I'm not a replacement player who came in here from down on the bank fishing.
I've done it.
I was dying and crying every day to trying to get back here.
Hey, they were willing to give me a chance.
I don't worry about how it opened.
He's talking about he doesn't give a shit.
Nobody better call me a scab, he says.
That's bullshit.
His career, though, James, he's the Forrest Gump of baseball.
He's been around everything.
He has.
He's been around Nolan Ryan and Barry Bonds.
And Michael Jordan.
Michael Jordan.
He's been around everything in baseball.
Jim Rice.
You name it.
Tom Seaver was on the team.
Roger Clemens was on his team.
He's got all these guys.
He's unbelievable.
He is the Gump.
He says, quote, when they want to pack the house, they'll bring back the can.
That's what he said about Boston.
That's how it is.
And he says he doesn't care about being a scab because he said, I went to the Players Association and asked for help when I was at a baseball and they did nothing for me.
They wouldn't help.
As a matter of fact, a lot of guys liked it when people would mess with me in the game.
I heard a guy say I deserved it.
And now they want to tell me how to deal with the strike?
No, I don't think so, and nobody better call me a scab.
Yeah, that's great.
I love it.
He said, what's so bad about what I've done?
I ain't killed nobody.
I ain't robbed no bank.
I ain't did any of that, but people in baseball still make me out to be the son of Sam, Jack the Ripper, Ted Bundy, and Jason all rolled into one.
I mean, I'm a good daddy, a good husband.
I love kids.
I love old people.
I love dogs.
I also love crack.
Is that a fucking problem?
Okay, as you said, I love dogs, and these guys won't let me play the game.
You wonder, who are the real scabs?
You tell them.
I'm on his side.
March 27, 1995, he's arrested, though.
Oh, no. This ends the great spring training experiment
with the uh white socks when he's arrested in florida for possession of marijuana so i mean
i don't care but it was very illegal in 95 in florida and he gets arrested and that's like
who gives a shit it's like a driver's license in Florida. That's what I mean. Everybody's got that.
A little of that, a little meth on you.
I would venture to say more people in Florida have marijuana than driver's licenses.
Probably.
That are driving, yes.
In a car, definitely.
If you watch Live PD, that's the truth.
That's all it ever was there.
License registration.
How about marijuana?
Will that identify me oh man 96 he's back in the minors and he says he's happy says he's eating a cheeseburger down there he's all
happy yeah he's uh couldn't be happier he said he just loves it he's now he's relaxed he doesn't
have to uh deal with any of the bullshit and the team loves him. He's also the he's also they said he does charity shit for the team.
He did a car wash for the battered women's shelter, said he's there to help.
All right.
So there's that.
Then he also gets arrested for criminal speeding in Florida, you know, because he can't drive very well.
So criminal speeding in Florida.
He's got a lot of problems.
He doesn't know what to do with himself he's just trying not to smoke crack yeah so the only place where there's no crack
is in your own home like i gotta stay home because there's no crack here you know what i mean it's
the only place otherwise anywhere you go crack might fall in front of you so he's trying not
to smoke crack he stays home he needs something to occupy his time he's like i don't know maybe i'll
remodel the living room or something i gotta do something and he calls on somebody to help him out
and they come over and knock on the door and it's dexter manley interior decorator from new york city
and he says
how is it you've come to arrive here?
Yeah.
Seriously.
Oh, my God.
What are you smoking crack in the car outside at your job?
That's you are white trash.
I'm sorry.
I understand Mississippi burning and everything.
But good God, this is this is white trash behavior.
I can smell mayonnaise when I come up.
It's like wafting from the.
I smell it.
I smell it.
Do you understand? This is the trashy vibe that you're giving off. It's like wafting. I smell it. I smell it. Do you understand?
This is the trashy vibe that you're giving off.
And I just don't know.
No.
No, you're not.
Let me in.
Let me out of him.
No.
Vince.
Vince.
He's skinny, Vince.
You won't like him.
Trust me.
He's skinny.
He's skinny.
Just have him put these overalls on.
I just want to see.
I said he's skinny, Vince.
He's too skinny for you.
You don't like skinny.
I told you you don't like skinny.
There might be some vascularity under there.
I'm not sure.
I just want to check for vascularity.
Just have him take that shirt off.
Vince, I have to go.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Oil Can.
I have to go.
You see how he is.
Goodbye.
Poof.
And in a poof of feathered boas and 1099s, they're both gone.
And it made him very sensitive, James.
And if Vincent stuck around long enough, he was going to take his shirt off.
He was going to take his shirt off.
There might be some vascularity under there.
You never know.
1999, he purchases a majority interest in a yet-to-be-played baseball team in this league.
In the Queen City Bombers, an independent minor league team.
And they announced they would start in 2000.
In Charlotte.
No, I think it's down in Mississippi somewhere.
There's a lot of Queen Cities.
Everybody calls themselves Queen City.
Because I think Cincinnati also calls themselves Queen City, if I'm not mistaken yeah and charlotte and i'd probably place in mississippi every city
i'm talking north carolina it's meridian it's by meridian by his hometown meridian queen city
yeah this is in the texas louisiana yeah that's the one uh they ended up getting a lack of
sponsorship and overall support so he ended up not. The team didn't happen.
But he said he bought a plot of land, which has been cleared and graded in preparation for a new ballpark.
Perfect.
But there's no team.
One of these days.
One of these days, damn it.
He does throw at this point, even in 2000, throws twice a week for a semi-pro team.
So he's still pitching at that point.
He said, quote, I will continue to play baseball until I can't play it any longer.
I want to be playing when I'm 50, if not professionally, for a semi-pro or local team.
He loves baseball.
It's going to happen.
Fucking loves it.
2005, so this is how long, a lot of time goes by.
He gets a job pitching in the canadian american association what is that
which is a league uh they have eight teams they play 91 games in a season um want to hear the
names i do uh the les capitales de quebec oh so the quebec capitals it's a French, yeah. The North Shore Spirit. Okay. The Brockton Rocks, which is where he plays for Brockton.
Just the Grays, just Grays, I think it's called.
The Worcester Tornadoes.
A lot of tornadoes in Massachusetts.
The New Jersey Jackals.
The New Haven County Cutters.
What is that?
It's a bunch of 15 bunch of 15 year old girls
the fuck is going on there fucking county is that the is that the guys from the jail is that
the correctional team i guess jesus the cutters and the elmira pioneers so there's that okay
anyway he plays for brock uh brockton four and five with a 473 ERA that year, which isn't bad because he's 45 years old, so
not too shabby.
And he drew a lot of, he ends up going to
their All-Star game that year, and
he draws a lot of fans. Yeah, made 13
grand. It's barely
if I doubt that. They said he's very
willing to sign autographs and shake hands
and all that sort of shit, and he's a good guy.
So they all love him. That's
in 2005. They all love him. Yeah, that's in 2005.
They all love him until November 14th,
2005.
When the FBI,
um,
when special agent John G.
Rouchie,
a special agent in charge of the FBI in Mississippi and us attorney,
Jim Greenlee saying a statement that Boyd allegedly made five telephone calls
in which he threatened to harm his ex-girlfriend and also her son.
Oh, no.
And five different calls.
This is a federal crime.
He's arrested.
Federal DV.
He's arrested.
Yeah.
Federal domestic violence from a distance.
Wow.
Federally distanced domestic violence.
This is a federal crime.
Like I said, he's arrested by the fbi and uh he's
indicted by a federal grand jury in mississippi if convicted he could receive up to 25 years in
prison uh or three years supervised release and up to a 250 000 fine i mean you can't threaten
people over state lines yeah just don't do everybody. I wish they took domestic violence that serious everywhere.
That would be good.
That would be fantastic.
Maybe guys wouldn't punch women if that was what they were up against.
Yeah, this.
So this he ends up with that.
He ends up there's some sort of plea in a resolution where he doesn't go to prison, though, is what ends up happening with this.
He's very lucky.
He is very lucky.
I mean, Jesus Christ. I mean, I don't know what happened,
but to have oil can calling you and threatening your son
doesn't sound like a real fun thing to have happen to you
or anything like that.
But I mean, Jesus Christ, so much crack.
I don't even know if he could...
You almost feel bad for him there's so much crack, Jimmy.
I do, I do.
You almost feel bad for him, but not nearly as bad
as you may feel for Dennis Boyd, a
mechanical and industrial engineering consultant in Surprise, Arizona.
That one's for you.
Dennis Boyd, real estate investor at Boyd Ventures in Portland, Oregon.
Oh, no.
He's like, I swear I'm not a crackhead.
Please buy my land.
Dennis Boyd, president and CEO at Signature Life Safety Services.
None of those words belong in Oil Can's title.
Life Safety Services.
None of those things.
It's all bad.
Dennis Boyd, president of the Southport Group in Fairfield, Connecticut.
And finally, Dennis Boyd, chief financial officer at St. Mark's Medical Center in La
Grange, Texas. Not at St. Mark's Medical Center in LaGrange, Texas.
Not our guy.
CFO.
2007, The Can is doing a barnstorming tour and basically doing a thing after like old negro league barnstorming tours where
they'd go into the into the country and play these games against local teams and shit like that to
try to it's cool shit yeah babe ruth used to do that all the time i love that fucking luke garrick
all the guys used to do it it was cool i wish they did that more but i mean obviously it takes money
for these guys to do a goddamn thing anymore that's yeah that was that was just for fun back then. Time to go out and party with the guys and drink and do all that shit.
2010, he is inducted into the Southwestern Athletic Conference Hall of Fame for his Jackson State pitching.
Yes, he is.
He was nasty.
Yeah.
That's weird, right?
Mississippi Southwest?
I guess in the 1700s it was the Southwest.
Pre-Louisiana purchase, it's the southwest i guess but unless that's the southwest louisiana hall of fame i don't know not even the
whole state so i don't i hope this isn't him but i think it is because all of his other things were
mixed in with this i found him on a, Find People websites where they have all this information.
And they have his jobs listed, and they had him listed as,
in 2006, he was, like, doing some kind of marketing
for the Pawtucket Red Sox, the AAA team.
You know, probably doing a commercial or some shit like that.
After that, though, from 2007 to 2008,
it says he worked at Dick's Sporting Goods as a cashier.
That is horrible.
Which, God, I hope that's not what a major league pitcher ended up.
Not a guy who pitched that much.
Made that decent scratch.
The man made over $4 million.
That's what I mean.
Then he worked at Expressions Clothing Company as a sales associate from November 2007 2007 to march 2008 oh my god then he
worked at the sports authority as a customer service sales associate from october 2009 to
june 2011 then i have in 2012 he's working for east commerce solutions which is a telemarketing
firm oh no is he doing fucking telemarketing?
God, I hope not.
Which would make a lot of sense why he decided to write a book talking about how he smoked crack every day.
June 2012 is when his book comes out.
And it's an interesting read.
If you want to hear just a guy's crazy story, a very honest dude.
They call me Oil Can.
My Life in Baseball came out in June 2012.
You can get it on Kindle for like $3 or something, so it's worth it.
He says, in summation here, some of the best games I've ever pitched,
I've ever, ever pitched in the major leagues, I stayed up all night.
I'd say two-thirds of them.
If I had went to bed, I would have won 150 ball games in the time span that I played.
I feel like my career was cut short for a lot of reasons,
but I wasn't doing anything that hundreds of ball players weren't doing at the time, because that's how I learned it. Okay, very good and
uh very quickly here the lenny dykstra ron darling lawsuit came up about lenny dykstra or ron darling
in his book 108 stitches saying that lenny dykstra was shouting out racial slurs which which like
spooked oil can into pitching poorly and giving up four runs in the first inning, including a Lenny Dykstra lead off Homer.
Yeah. Which then oil can Boyd said, I don't hear shit, which he does say when he smokes weed, he focuses and gets in there.
But I feel like he would have heard that. I feel like his ears do perk up if you call him the N word.
Just like a thing. You know, I think that word is like a dog whistle for fucking anybody.
For anybody, but especially a Meridian, Mississippi, Mississippi burning era childhood person.
You probably catch that.
So there was a lawsuit.
The judge, Judge Kalish, didn't rule on the grounds that Dykstra was or is. It doesn't matter, basically, either way about Dykstra,
because he said that Dykstra's
overall reputation collapsed
so profoundly that libeling him
or defaming him is, quote,
legally impossible.
You can literally say anything
you want publicly about Lenny Dykstra,
and it's precedent that that's OK,
because he's fucked up so much
that you can't say something
false about him,
because anything could be true. That's okay because he's fucked up so much that you can't say something false about him because anything could be true.
That's fucking amazing.
That's I don't think there's anybody else out there who is being that open license to libel someone because of whatever here.
Who knows?
Yeah.
Dykstra complained that obviously this forever branded him a racist and all of that sort of shit.
that obviously this forever branded him a racist and uh all of that sort of shit the the judge says or is this um um oh some oh okay this was the uh this was the quote from uh this is the
quote from ron darling so here's the quote from the uh the judge here from the judge based on the
paper submitted on this motion prior to the publication of the book, Dykstra was infamous for being, among other things, racist, misogynist and anti-gay, as well as a sexual predator, a drug abuser, a thief and an embezzler.
Further, Dykstra had a reputation largely due to his autobiography of being willing to do anything to benefit himself and the team, including using steroids and blackmailing umpires.
to benefit himself and the team, including using steroids and blackmailing umpires.
Considering this information, which was presumably known to the average reader of the book, this court finds that as a matter of public law, the reference in this book has not exposed Dykstra
to any further public contempt, ridicule, aversion, or disgrace,
or evil opinion of him in the minds of right-thinking persons,
or deprivation of friendly intercourse in society.
Lenny, is that a woman or a man?
Who is that?
Whoever it was.
That's, I don't know.
The judge looked him straight in the face and said, Lenny, you're a piece of shit and
everybody knows it.
Oh, yeah.
He also went on to quote GQ's article about him.
You know what he said about his covers of the magazines and all that sort of thing right so you know
2020 finally here uh boyd oil can is trying to organize and build a community baseball academy
in meridian that appeals to parents as well as black children he said he wants baseball meridian
to be again be the focal point of the community as it was when he
was a kid. He said quote it was a
home-based community. The
community was behind you. The community
came out and supported the kid who played baseball.
It's not like that. It's not that way anymore.
The kids have traded in Little League
baseball for the streets. We're not trying
to get the black fan back in the ballpark
or we're trying to get the black fan back
in the ballpark. That's what's going to put the black ball player back on the field, the black fan.
The kid won't come and participate in the game unless he has some encouragement from the home.
And he said, you know, I had encouragement. He said, you knew about the Satchel Pages and the
Josh Gibsons and the Cool Papa Bells. He said, we knew about baseball growing up because our
grandparents and parents would tell us about it. I fight every day not to go out and get drugs, but it's a private fight.
I don't call it being clean.
I call it being tolerant.
I stay healthy, and I'm on a baseball field seven days a week.
That's where I feel most comfortable.
I love it.
That's what he's doing.
He's trying to teach kids, and he talked a big deal with Delano DeShields about how Delano DeShields basically was like,
with Delano DeShields about how Delano DeShields basically
was like, look, they needed black players
in the 60s and the 50s and it made them
look all fucking, made them look
all nice and liberal and then it spiced the game
up a little bit and guys had power and
speed and all this shit. He goes, they don't fucking need
us anymore so they don't recruit black kids
anymore. They're much more interested
in going to the islands and
helping those kids play baseball.
They don't give a fuck about, if you look at it at one point there was like almost 50 black baseball in like the late
70s when he came around it's like seven percent black now is that right seven yeah it's under 10
or it was a couple years ago i don't know if a couple more guys have come or what but it's under
10 of the league is black that's that's less than the
than the population of in the country right black people you know what i mean like that's that's
crazy it's fucking crazy and and to and to oil cans point it's not as encouraged in exactly in
their in their households it's not as popular right that's that's what it is. That's what it is. So it's that. And the leagues have not made any attempts to try to target kids to want to play the sport.
Right.
Put a couple of bucks into that shit.
Right.
You're going to get a lot of great athletes, too.
It's a sport.
I remember I saw this video with Jimmy jimmy rollins and he was talking
about of the phillies and at the time and he was talking about how he was literally telling black
kids fucking play baseball he goes listen i'm 5 11 he goes i'm not going to be in the fucking nba
he goes i was never going to be in the nba i wasn't ever going to be in the nfl but baseball
if i worked on my defense and practiced enough, I could play baseball.
He goes, that's it.
He goes, you're not if you're not six foot seven, if you're not dunking from the foul line, he goes, this is a sport where you don't need to dunk from the foul line.
You can play this fucking sport.
It's less glamorous, but you can actually have a chance to get somewhere with it.
He was trying to say so either way.
Can't get enough of oil can boyd you can rent him of
course you can athlete speakers.com available for corporate appearances speaking engagements
meet and greets endorsements virtual events and all of that shit or just go on ebay and get
yourself a sweet oil can boyd expos jersey because that shit is hot as fuck and that my friends is oil can boyd and quite a
fucking tale of crack and crazy and just wild shit going down there that's uh it's the most
unbelievable thing it's just that's one of i never knew yeah that i thought oil can i was like is
there enough stuff on oil can for an episode like Like, you know, I don't even know.
And then I started looking it up and I'm like, oh my God,
we need three episodes for oil can.
This is fucking crazy.
It's crazy.
And honestly, for three bucks, his book is worth it.
Pick up his book.
It's not a bad purchase at all.
So check that out there.
Was Willie Mays a tall guy?
I think Willie Mays was about 6'1", 6'2".
Was he pretty big?
He was a bigger guy.
Yeah, I mean, not like 6'5 or anything, but I think he was like 6'1". Willie six two he's a bigger guy yeah i mean not like six five
or anything but i think he was like six one willie mccovey was a big six five motherfucker tim rains
was a little guy he was small little base dealer i mean the guys the the little guys that can they
can hit the ball they can steal bases they're so fast yeah and baseball is a game of you know
defense if you can develop a good eye and play defense
also you have a chance to it was you know i mean there are looking for power and things like that
but not middle infielders no you know if you're a little guy that's got a little bit of speed
you're not a 4-2-40 guy you're not you know world-class sprinting uh wide receiver nfl speed
but you're a little quickness you're good with a glove. It's something to think about. A little guy from the A's that ran like
a bastard. Which one?
Ricky Anderson? Yes, Ricky Anderson.
He wasn't going to play in the NBA.
No, he was fucking 5'10".
Jesus Christ, was he a talent.
He could steal some fucking bad hit, too.
He could hit his ass off. Thank fuck he loved
baseball. Most lead-off home
runs of all time, if anybody. So that's
Ricky. If you enjoyed that show, tell the world about it.
Get on Apple Podcasts and give us five stars.
It does help a lot.
We have no idea why, but it helps.
It's a thing.
So to that.
Also, you can follow us on social media.
We are at Crime and Sports on Twitter and Facebook, at Small Town Murder on Instagram there.
You should head over to ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com right now for all of your merchandise.
And merchandise, we got tickets to live shows 2022 and the end of 2021.
You want to get those, check all those out and come see us at a live show.
Fuck, I can't wait.
We can't wait to get out there and see some people.
So come out and check us out at a live show.
That's going to be so much fucking fun. my god damn it is patreon awesome lately having a great time over there if
you've missed it by the way if you're a patron you get access to all of the bonus episodes from both
shows and you'll want to hear the crime and sports ones because they're usually not sports related
also you want to hear crime and sports you want to hear small town murder you'll want to hear
if you're a small town murder person you'll want to hear the crime and sports if you're crime and
sports you'll want to hear small town murder because it's usually something weird too yeah so
it's good stuff this past week that we just uploaded a couple days ago we have probably our
finest personal ads episode ever if you don't know what that is we find personal ads from like
the early 80s through the 2000s and i picked out some crazy ones
yeah and the newspaper we're talking about and read these ads and they're just comedy gold
before craigslist where it was just like i want to fuck you it was yeah they were really like
putting their best foot forward you needed like a like a tagline and shit you needed to try
people were selling themselves so there's that and then the small town murder one we did was on richard ramirez the night stalker and his childhood and we got
into a very detailed description of what the fuck happened there so very interesting shit check that
out patreon.com slash crime and sports patreon.com slash crime everybody five dollars above you get
everything you get it all and you get a shout out whereout where Jimmy will mispronounce your name at the end of the show,
really pretty shortly here.
Or if you just want to do PayPal, you're still a producer, we still love you,
and Jimmy will still mispronounce your name.
Just use our email address, crimeandsports at gmail.com to do that.
That said, I need it, Jimmy.
I need you to hit me with the list of the most fantastic goddamn people on the face of the earth.
They keep this train rolling.
Jimmy, hit me with them now.
This week's executive producers are Jordan Bennett, Travis Tim, who evidently is a 30-year-old virgin, James.
He told me that.
Oh, my.
He divulged that information.
And he divulged it via the donation, so I think he wants us to talk about it.
Okay.
Somebody fuck that guy.
Please. On the double uh yeah speaking of double sarah at double bubble cleaning company and uh her boyfriend jason listens to the show or no he doesn't listen to the show she just wants us to
tell him that uh she listens to uh not because uh she wants to kill him but just in case he's
trying to kill her uh she's trying to scope you out.
That's fine.
She's learning.
Good move.
Good move.
Also, executive producers are Chrissy Ann Costaldi, Jordan – no, that's Carol Braun.
I already said Jordan Bennett.
Autumn Palmer, Harmony Bettenhausen, Brooke Kale, Melissa Turner, Joanne Ahern, Cindy Marshall.
Where else did I go?
I said Melissa Turner.
Where else did I go? I said Melissa Turner. Tracy Mitchell, Doc Holiday Hotop, Eva Van Wick, Andrea Will, Rachel Jones Gundle, and Jeremiah Grother. I'm not sure. That word made me want to burp. Edward O'Reilly also. And you guys truly can't overstate or understate how amazing you guys are.
Thank you truly from the bottom of the hearts.
Thank you.
Other producers this week also are, what did I do?
I have a, oh, it's just, okay.
I looked like a fork and knife.
I don't know how I did that.
You got umlauts. I don't know.
I'm putting emojisjis into the all right
other producers are taylor no yeah taylor cozart melody kernatz uh rick is a moderator over the
discord group and he lost his father recently and uh and and he says he's over it but it's still
obvious that you're struggling rick hang in there your friends told me to tell you that uh also
jacob williams has taken Caitlin to New York
because they're getting married, James.
Congrats, both of you.
Getting married.
Dustin and Danny Martin.
I think Danny may be in the hospital.
No, I don't know what I'm doing.
Somewhere somebody's in the hospital.
I know that.
Jesus.
Corporal Carl Kirshner's wife,
Christy. That's a lot of cuh.
She got a new job. Congratulations.
Also, Liz Vasquez,
Charles Lundeby,
Peyton Meadows, Barry, what is this?
Mac O'Kina?
Corey Weinberg?
Weinberg. James Marder? Martha
what? Capalaya?
Capian? Capayan? Martha Capappellan, Cappellan, Cappellan,
Jennifer Riddell,
Rydell, Joe Bascom,
Caroline Goya,
Goya, Golia?
Is that too...
I don't know. You wrote it. I didn't even
write it. I typed it. You typed it.
I still can't read it. Jesus
Christ. David Beers,
Michael DeGrief, Nick Ruggiero uh jesse pitts
janice hill mother jefferson jess robbins oh her wait uh who has who has his mother's eyes
according to his dad uh cantor rabinovitz uh oh i'm told it's a jazz reference it's a jazz singer
reference yeah you got it yeah it's uh jess's Jess Robin. Yeah. It's Jess Robin.
It is.
And by the way, I really hope Mother Jefferson is a reference to George Jefferson's mother
on The Jeffersons.
I think it is.
Mother Jefferson.
I'm pretty sure it is.
She was the greatest character.
She was awesome.
Ashley Veo, Susanna Platt, Kristen Bellinger, Bob Bobbs.
His last name is Roberts and goes by Bob Bobbs.
Bobby Bobbs.
Nicola, Nicola?
Hacepice?
Oh, Nicola Hacepice. oh my goodness i i guarantee that's what she dealt with in all through school or he nicola is that okay i don't
know i'm not gonna assume rice proban uh thomas smith patricia veltri uh she's fighting for co
fighting covet in the hospital that That's who it is.
It's Patricia.
Shit.
Fucking.
Patricia, feel better.
Fucking disease.
Angela Corey.
Heidi Porter.
Tara Bennett.
Sarah Weahey.
Weahey.
Patty and Alexandra Arkand.
Robin Heyer.
John Welty.
Maria Rasper.
Corey and Kelly Fowler.
Jessica Massery.
I don't know.
Something like that.
Larissa Hunter, Amber with no last name, Devin Lee, Dean with no last name, Kayla Lacey,
Jocelyn Sabori, Rick Parando, Brianna Studebaker, get the fuck out, what a cool last name, Donna Rinaldi, Whit Lee, Holly Burnett, Hoody would know last. Hoody.
Is it Hoody or is it Hoody?
Teagan would know.
You know Teagan, though.
That girl, you know Teagan,
the gal from over there at the thing?
Teagan.
Marciano.
That's our girl.
Drew Martinez, Lomatron808,
Ashley Tracy, not Ashley, Persinger,
Ashley Tarasca, that's why I said Ashley.
Remy with no last name.
Liz 410.
Mark Lewis.
Michelle McSully.
Sammy Morris.
Eric Collier.
Dick Trickler.
Perfect. R. Reese.
Sarah.
And also Dana Daigler.
Sam Condert.
Grace Glenn.
Hannah Treesh.
Nathan Scott Ram.
Andy Barnett.
Alice W.
Richard Kraft, Matthew
with no last name, Alex Thiessen, Kamara Langenbrenner, Shelly Noski, Heather Harrelson, Woody's daughter,
Kunta J., Micah Chavez, Jeff Taphorn, Matt Ryan, Teresa Reeves, Ryan with no last name, Shitty DIY, Phil Rogers, Rochelle Sigourney, Josh Reeser,
Reeser, Brian Jarl, Mark Lampier, Nathan Smith, Jessica Almanza, Sean Flanagan, Stephanie Zimmerman,
Elizabeth Hale, Weston Johnson, Steve King, Jenny Edwards, Roger Lewis, Cassie 911, Sarah Schooley, Hilde
Bejeldin, nope, Hilde, fuck, Savern Yang, I'm the worst, Monica Young, Cindy Ferguson,
Connor Hughes, Courtney Taylor, Jesse with no last name, Don Zuckerman, Laura Suarez, Donovan Roos, Christian, nope, that's Jessica, Chamberlain, Kelsey Larson, Kelly Whitaker, Ethan Dahl, Thad Kuhn, Amber Phelps, Jacek, nope, that's Zach, Wander, John Gleason, and Mitchell, Gerald, God damn it, Gerald with no last name, Honk, honk. Gerald, God damn it. Fuck.
That's a word.
Honk, honk, fuck.
Brendan with no last name.
Kayla, Elizabeth, Rick, Hool, Kat, Daffin, Will, Ryan, Guy, Gamboni, Zachary, oh boy,
oh boy, Hewlett, Salmy.
I'm trying so hard.
Jacob, Gravel, Nicole, Stacy, Brittany, Egan, Vanessa, Vanessa Gill, Austin Stovall, Rebecca Ribeiro,
Jeremy with no last name, Alexander Hunter, Jennifer Mitchell, Annalise Marvel, Aaron Kling, Taylor Forst, Peace Ransom, Mark Vought, Laura Hohe, Andrew St. James, Eric Falconer, Lauren Barlow, Reggie Lee, Adrian Olivas, Beth Miller, Ray Grange, Candice Sievert, David Middleditch, Matt Kramer, Cody Shara, Guy Alexander, Bethany Andrews, Christopher Ryman, JC.C. and Patrick, Daniel Criswell, Shelby
Parrish, Ron Foster, Jacob Miranda, Locus Lucas, Cantu the Third, God damn it, Lily
Lincoln, Jamek, and then also Cass M., Ethan Kopcho, Christina McNierney, Brad Fogle, Tristan Evans, Maria Ricks, Chris Pieskowski.
I'm really doing it tough this week.
I'm trying.
Brianna Petrone, Andy with no last name, Amy Turner, Claire with no last name, Andy Schultz,
Daniel and Katie James, Matt H, SF, I think that's the whole town of San Francisco,
Brad Holland, Michael Beecher, Alicia with no last name, JT Lewis,
Christopher Lee Young, Kayla Allen, Travis Shule, Brad Hardesty, John Keefe.
That was the name of a basketball player, wasn't it?
Keefe?
Was it Matt Keefe?
That's a Keefe.
Is there an O'Keefe?
O'Keefe.
Kevin?
Keith?
I don't remember. Courtney Thaxton, Kevin Abbott, Nicola H., Tracy Quint, Leslie Kretschmer, fuck, Darius
Ladson, Quaintly, Hunter, Gonzo, Maya, also Jess.
No last names for either of them.
Do you know them?
I think you do.
That's Worcestershire.
The Worcestershire fortune. them do you know them i think you do i think that's the worst of shire the worst of shire fortune kristen aldrich uh lauren schultz stephen vaughn uh james bradford noah paxton
amy carroll jeremiah mueller ashley stewart brody maynard shelby hughes austin uh nope austin o'neill
chrissy b dustin wortham betsy lou brixen uh the glens the whole family i think uh john david cubison chris kelm
mackalai mackalai mackalai hodge k k krisenick's uh sewell gustavo muniz pinto melissa true melissa
true love marnie sterling jp trent mariel muriel uh shane boltz Shane Bolt, Elizabeth Sharon, Katrina Taunton, Tony Peterson, Sharon Zitnick, and Kelly Thirsk,
Lori with no last name, Jennifer Schaefer, Edward Collins, Allison Ames, Steve White, Steve Magoo, Patrick Rubicki,
Panna, Panna Gherardini, suchherardini? Such a question mark.
Bonnie Ford.
Cody Fedler.
Friend.
Aaron Sutton.
Jenny with no last name.
Anna Sargent.
Hayden.
Do you know Hayden?
I think.
Do you remember?
Sriracha.
Of the Sriracha family fortune.
It's a lot of.
We're getting.
It's all sauces.
We're getting condiment money this week.
Zachary Trottier.
Matt with no last name.
Heather Alexander.
Lynn DeBroche, Kayla Holsey,
Olive Hagen, Tanya Friend, Jamie Bullock, Ari Pisonin, Chris Sloan, Jordan Bowman, Brandon
C., Brandon Moore, Naomi Kavanaugh, Carrie Smith, Al Stanway, David Pacheco, Lindsay Hyken, Stephanie McDonald,
Malin Joyner, Taylor Vargas, Adrian Kelly, Kim Emrich, Kristen Chartier, Emily Parker,
Adrian Jackson, Jan Jans, Evie with no last name, Christine Scherf, Kelly Lucas, Ryan
Sansoni, Adrian Coyler, Jeannie Purden, Jessica Lofink, Laura with no last name, Amanda Cherry,
Frank White Toast Angle, Leanne with no last name, Kelly Wurzikow.
Where is the cow?
Keith P. You know Keith P.
Keith P.
Penelope.
Susie Davidson, Aaron Sififos, Madison Nichols, Yasmin Johnson, and then also Stoves, the Stoves.
I don't know if it's—
All the Stoves have joined together.
Stoverich?
Well, the refrigerators gave us money last week.
Truly.
All of our patrons and our new ones, obviously.
You guys are terrific, tremendous, fantastic.
We can't thank you enough.
Thank you everybody so much from the bottom of our hearts.
You're the best out there.
All of you.
Thank you so much for keeping this show going and for supporting us.
And we just hope that our Patreon episodes are what you're looking for.
Cause we try to,
if we,
if you're giving us even a dime,
we feel a great responsibility to give you something as that's as good as we can give you.
So we hope that you're liking it.
And it seems like you are so far.
People are always saying nice stuff.
So thank you very much for that.
Jimmy, what if they wanted to say nice stuff to you?
How could they do that?
You can find me on the Internet at Wisman Sucks.
But tell James when he does great jobs telling stories like the last patron episodes that the story arcs have been tremendous, and they're getting better,
and I'm so thankful for all this.
Thank you guys for being a part of it because you're why we do it.
Where can they tell you horrible things or nice things?
Oh, boy.
I'm at Jimmy P is funny, or just Google our names or Google the show.
You'll find us on there.
You can find us.
We're not hard to track down.
No.
So that said, thank you for everything you've done this week and every other damn week for the last 200 where
this is episode 256 jimmy so i mean it's it's deep and it's hard it's it's going very deep and uh
who knows how much how deep it'll go we don't know how far we're gonna get it's not gonna be
it's not gonna be 400 or 500 I'll tell you that much right now.
It'll be well before that.
So thank you, everyone, for sticking with us and hanging out with us because this show
is our show at this point.
We don't really give a fuck.
So we just hope you like it.
If not, we don't really care.
Yeah.
So that said.
Five years strong and three hours of this shit.
Oh, baby.
Live from the Crime and Sports Studios.
We will see you next week. Bye.
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