Crime in Sports - #259 - Steroids, G-Strings & Federal Crime - The Swaggeringness of Jeff Gaylord
Episode Date: June 8, 2021This week, we c heck out a man with possibly double the brain damage, as he was both a football player & a pro wrestler. His attitude made his football career less of an option, but he wa...s perfect for wrestling. The only problem is that he can't seem to stay out of police custody. His charges are long & varied, but he couldn't stop doing one particular crime... bank robbery. A crazy guy & a crazy episode! Gain 70 pounds of muscle in a year and a half, be a mediocre wrestler, and find your true career, bank robbery with Jeff Gaylord!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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The Queen of the Courtroom is back.
How did I know that? i have crystal ball in my head
new cases leave her a long so uh this is not a so this is a period classic judy it's streaming
you can say anything it's an all-new season judy justice only on freebie
Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports!
Yay!
Oh, yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay indeed.
My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host.
I am Jimmy Wissman.
Thank you so much for joining us, everybody.
We are extra super excited, as always, to be here today.
We have a crazy episode.
Brain damage as far as the eye can see.
Terrific. A football player who then became a
wrestler so you can't get any more brain damage even that and when you hear what he did later
and what he keeps doing you go holy shit this guy better have brain damage because otherwise he's
the dumbest man i've ever heard of in my life like it's one thing no excuse no it's one thing to do
shit and to get caught for it.
Okay, you did it.
You tried to get away with it.
You got caught for it.
But then to repeatedly do the same thing that you keep getting caught for is not a bright move.
And it's not like DUI or anything like that.
It's not like, oh, he's an alcoholic or anything like that.
It's something that you don't need to do.
We'll get into it.
But it's crazy shit.
What a wild episode this week but i
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This week's episodes, nothing different. We have, first first the Atlanta Gold Club scandal, which I don't know if you guys know what that is, everybody. Way more to very high profile people. And many, many, many professional athletes were called to the trial to testify and had to give detailed accounts of exactly what services were rendered to them.
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There's a lot of very famous people in here.
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hypothesizing that they're he was part of a bigger cult and he was only part of the whole thing and
more people were involved in the murders and all this type of shit and he just kept it you know didn't say anything about it for 50 years or uh
with that that's connected to this book that the guy wrote which is like 25 hours long on audible
and i had to read that so it's called the ultimate evil you went through the whole thing oh i read
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There we go.
Let's do this, Jimmy.
Let's get into this with Jeffrey Scott Gaylord.
So, yeah.
Yeah, that's...
And we giggle because, know we were children and um
when in the 80s when this guy wrestled by the way it's not a great time to have the name gay
lord in the 80s because for some reason in the 80s the main thing that a little boy would do
to insult his friend would be to call him a gay slur of some kind right and it's weird
because yeah even into high school where like there were kids that were gay and you knew they
were gay i mean there was i'm sure they were gay when they were younger but whatever you knew they
were gay you never called those kids that name because that would be no they weren't the ones
that would be mean then you're just being an asshole and it's like you're just like attacking
someone who's that's fucked up but your friend who thinks he's tough and macho you call him gay slurs like crazy back then for some reason
and it wasn't to insult the gay people it was to insult him because you knew that was insulting to
him so it's a very strange time desired thing to be yeah he for him that would be a nightmare so you you play on that when you're
younger and uh you know whatever so to me though honestly if while kids are throwing that back and
forth when i was a child gay lord was the best one you could be called in the hierarchy yeah
tippy top i'm lord of the gays fine that's my insult great lord of the gays robe yeah i picture my
because of the crown and a scepter and all the pageantry that would be in the lord of the gays
it's a lot of pageantry i'm figuring i feel like this would be very it'd be a lot i'd like it i
think you'd have to wear a lot of fur ornate it would be fun i think so that's fine uh uh but so
yeah that's the thing but you don't want people to
well his goal was to get people to chant gay lord at him in an arena i guess right in the 80s which
is an interesting thing but we're more mature we won't we won't uh laugh too much at gay lord there
so because it's now i've never i haven't heard anyone call anybody that in 25 years so that's
probably for the best and really uh meet the fokkers or meet the parents
i guess it was the first one that uh really exhausted that didn't they you know yeah yeah
at the end his name was gay lord fokker that's right yeah they went on and they just kind of
beat the gay lord joke into the ground that was a lot that was a lot that was they they killed it
dead there you go they killed it dead buried it with a shovel by the light of headlights, like in Goodfellas.
Pounded the dirt afterwards with the back of the shovel.
That's it.
There we go.
That should do it.
I'm going to plant some grass over it so nobody sees it's there.
So our guy here, born October 15th, 1958.
He is born in Columbus, Ohio.
I don't know a lot about his childhood i'll be very honest
before the age of 15 i don't know much and he's from columbus so there's really i don't know ohio
what what fun story can i make up of there's no you know i don't know if there's bears there i
don't know what the fuck to make up so it's it's it just doesn't work with columbus ohio
i say which is i'm sure that you could give him a more interesting backstory.
Yeah.
Yuri Bubla grew up in a fucking country that doesn't even exist anymore.
So you could say anything and anybody would believe it.
But Columbus, Ohio, my lies would be too easily flushed out.
So we're not going to do that.
Snipped out, yeah.
Yeah.
So he turns out to be a very big guy, 6' and 280 pounds it's a lot of man it's a lot
of man and he it's it's a lot of steroids is what it is too i mean he really he looks like it
somebody stuck a bicycle pump up his ass and just like pumped away and was until he was about to
burst and they were like yeah perfect popped it out i wish i wish. Don't you? Well, he did it with steroids, though.
He was like, just keep pumping it in.
I'm going to get bigger strictly by enough liquid in my system at this point.
Just jack me with testosterone.
He talks about how once I started working out and dedicating to getting my body better,
I gained like 80 pounds of muscle, you know, like that.
I was 150 pounds. That's how it works.. Cause that's, that's how human bodies work.
You just gain 80 pounds of muscle. No problem. It just pops right on your body.
I know lots of dudes that worked out a lot and not one of them has put on 80 pounds of muscle.
Hey, look at this. I'm really getting big, huh? You'd be like, Holy shit.
He founds a muscle in a minute.
Hey, look at this.
I'm really getting big, huh?
You'd be like, holy shit.
Bench press.
Can you believe it?
Yeah.
You can tell.
I mean, no matter how hard you work out, your body has limits, and people's bodies have limits.
And look at Hulk Hogan.
Look at a picture.
Hulk Hogan, 1990.
Look at that picture. Then look up Hulk Hogan, 1993, and they look like a different human being.
And he's still a humongous 270 pound man.
If you saw him in real life,
you'd think his biceps could just crush my head.
Like they're that fucking strong.
But compared to gassed up Hogan,
he looked skinny and sick.
Even though he was jacked still like crazy.
He looked sick.
He looked sick compared to old Hogan.
Urban Commando looks sick.
He looked like, oh boy, oh, look at Hulk.
Hulk's got the cancer.
He's not looking good.
I don't think he's going to make it.
Must be in his prostate or something.
Look at him, I think.
It's got to be somewhere in there.
Was that the movie?
Was it Urban Commando?
Was that the one that he did?
Suburban Commando.
Suburban Commando.
He was all jacked in that.
Mr. Nanny was the one he was like.
There you go.
He was all slimmed down in that one for Mr. Nanny.
That's Svelte Hogan. That's Svelte Hogan.
That's Svelte Hogan.
You could see it in his face.
It's not even his arms.
His face totally changes because he doesn't have that swole Barry Bonds head.
His motorcycle, the handlebar mustache has ripples in it when he's not fucking jacked up.
Yeah, absolutely.
When he's jacked up up it's just a big fucking
ball of tuft on his face his face is just puffed out and it goes down like two sizes when he's off
the cycle and right just doesn't work so uh jeff here he played uh high school football that's
where he got started here playing high school football at shawny mission south in overland
park kansas yeah i think he grew up in Kansas, from what I understand, because he was 15.
I found two famous people who went there to this high school.
Rodney Peete.
Dennis Rader.
Dennis Rader, absolutely.
Yeah, he went there.
All of his victims, too.
Rodney Peete, the NFL quarterback and husband of Holly Robinson Peete there, him.
And then comedian Rob Riggle went there as well.
Yep.
Terrific guy.
Here he's a nice guy.
Very funny.
Yeah, he's a funny guy, yeah.
I always hear he's very nice.
And I think he was on The Daily Show.
He was on The Daily Show.
Wasn't he?
I don't know.
I think he was.
I don't know.
I don't know what he's done,
apart from that movie, The Hangover.
Oh, there you go.
That's right, he's in that.
Apart from that, I don't know what he's in.
I just know that I've seen his roasts.
Not so great, but his comedy is top notch.
Very funny guy.
Now, don't quote me on this, even though I'm saying it into a microphone and I'm going
to put it out to hundreds of thousands of people, but I believe, I could be completely
wrong, I believe Rob Briggle was, I believe he was in the military and then he went to the Daily Show after that
because he was doing comedy
and, well, he was in the military
and then he was like a,
That makes sense.
Yeah, he was like a military correspondent
or some shit on the Daily Show
or something like that.
He does have a very straight delivery
and a very regimented style.
I could see him being in the military.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
So either way, it's possible
or I could be talking about a completely different human being,
or I could have taken the lives of several different people and melded them into one and completely made the whole thing up.
So I'm not sure which one of those three options it is.
Gaylord doesn't get an origin story, but Rob Riggle does.
He does, a big one.
I know more about him.
We've made him an American hero.
We've made him something. something he likes it or not
maybe we'll see who knows maybe not maybe he's like i went to community college i did some open
mics and you know liked comedy worked at a bowling alley you know yeah just to pass the time i worked
at a fucking sam goody in the 90s and now here i am so uh jeff Gaylord here, Jeff said he started lifting weights at about age 15.
He said he was six feet tall, 150 pounds at that point.
Okay.
So 15.
That's a skinny fella.
Yeah.
He could bench 210 pounds when he was getting going.
So that's still pretty strong for a guy that uh there about one and a half years later though you know 18 months he went from
benching 210 pounds to 450 pounds in a year and a half you do you do something every day eventually
you're gonna get better at it come on man that's you know i mean yeah i'm not i'm not a gym guy
like i'm not a guy who's like i'm gonna push and see how much weight
i don't know if people out there are you could tell me is that normal to more than 500 days
to your bench press in 18 months to go from 210 not even double like oh you were only doing 80
pounds and you're doing 160 to go from 210 to 450 that's a huge jump is it not that's like a
it's so much weight that's like you're that's an
offensive lineman extra that you can lift now that's too really do you just have like a creatine
enema just pumping into him constantly i used to be able to bench press a cornerback and now i can
bench press a cornerback and an offensive guard together like that's that's insanity he said that he religiously developed
his body it was as like as a religion to him by the time he gets into college he can run a 40 he
runs the 40 and 4-6 which is big which is really fast for a big guy back then and also yeah you
know he's on roids right he says this is a quote from jeff quote the first day i put on pads playing pro football was
my goal that's all i ever wanted to do so keep that in mind all he ever wanted to do um he did
say he had a shitty attitude at times he said he wasn't didn't have the best attitude with people
and that was a problem he said quote i started weightlifting in the ninth grade i was such a
brat nobody wanted to have anything to do with me.
A brat?
A brat.
But he said weightlifting just changed his whole thing, changed his whole life.
It went from being a brat to bench pressing 450 pounds and being a stand-up guy.
In 18 months.
In 18.
Changed his whole attitude.
That's how it works.
What the fuck, Jimmy?
What do you think here?
How do you think this goes?
Yeah.
So.
It's the foes. Oh, man. what the fuck jimmy what do you think here how do you think this goes so uh i suppose
oh man he uh as a sophomore uh you know he was small and then that's when he he really
upped his game there and in about that same year and a half he went from 6-1-1-50 to 6-3-2-15
so he gained 65 pounds of muscle in a year and a half, he said.
And a few inches.
And a few inches, which I mean the height, whatever, that happens from 15 to 16.
But that's a lot of weight.
That's just a lot of weight.
And all muscle, too.
I mean, we're talking, he didn't just, you know, oh, he's filled out.
He's bench-pressed 450 pounds.
This is silly.
He says, quote, I used to be. He's a behemoth. He's a behemoth is silly. He says, quote, I used to be a behemoth.
He's a behemoth, yeah.
He said, quote, I used to be really skinny.
Well, yeah, I would be skinny.
So 1976, he's playing in school here in high school,
and I found this article in the paper there from Kansas City
talking from September 26, 1976,
talking about how his team got burned for 249 yards
rushing and it says which brings us to the reason why the south defense was burned on that one play
or on any of the others that helped the indians roll up 249 yards rushing on them jeff gaylord
or rather the absence of jeff gaylord oh boy look at that he sat out the game with strained ligaments yeah oh
he's a badass strained ligaments in his neck strained neck ligaments so uh yeah he decides
uh in his senior year that he won't play in the all-star game there's an east west shrine game
going on and he won't play because he's got he's already uh committed to college and he doesn't want to play, basically.
He visited a couple colleges, but he decided on Missouri is where he wanted to go.
So the Tigers.
Missouri Tigers he's going to go to there.
Mizzou.
Mizzou.
Now, he goes to a banquet at the end of high school,
and he said this was one of his low points where he said he realized
that he needed to change the way he is from this um it was a big sports banquet i guess that they
have in high school if you do that sort of thing uh you know all the coaches and and the cheerleaders
and all the football players are there and all the parents and he says quote then a coach got up and
said jeff gaylord will be only a marginal player in college.
That made me a little mad.
Well, yeah, it's a celebration.
He's like, yeah, you're not going to be that good in college.
He said in the microphone in front of his parents and cheerleaders.
That's pretty fucked up.
Wow.
He said that, yeah, he the coach, you know, said that he was just kind of he said said, quote, I don't know what I, I don't know that, I don't know that I said he would be a marginal player, he said.
I said he would be limited by himself.
The chances of him playing were marginal because of his attitude.
There was never any question about him physically.
Well, obviously not.
He's fucking gas to Mars.
So physically, yeah. But he's that that good. But instead, he actually his attitude apparently, quote unquote, is is a problem.
year while he's there and uh because he uh he messed up his ankle pretty bad so they ended up just red shirting him and he really didn't do much so 1979 comes around and he's going to try to get
you know into the mix of things missouri goes seven and five this year which isn't bad their
bowl game they go to is the hall of fame classic where they beat south carolina 24 to 14 and um
he had a problem though he didn't play this year really much because he was driving one night and
fell asleep while he was driving home not good and his car plunged 30 feet off an embankment
he just drove right off like a turn and he just kept on drawing like like
uh chevy chase and funny farm he just kept a cartoon yeah just kept driving that yeah just
we right off the deal yeah he suffered a broken sternum and cracked ribs i'm sure and all sorts
of cuts and bruises and between a sternum and ribs imagine how shitty it would be to breathe. Just imagine how terrible that would be.
Or do anything.
Anything.
Moving, looking left or right.
Horrible to eat, breathe, cough.
Oh, if you had to cough or sneeze, God forbid.
Oh, Christ.
Holy shit.
You imagine, oh, if you've got allergies, that would be a miserable spring.
You're in deep shit so uh they said this put his development behind uh but he still ended up he still ended up playing though that's the thing
he came and he still came to practice in a way well ahead of when doctors said he should have
and all that sort of shit which one thing that steroids are good for is healing injuries yeah
very good for healing and they help so yeah really yeah 1980 missouri
tigers they go eight and four this year and this is a year he kind of he isn't expected to do shit
and he ends up being a starter this year ends up busting into the starting lineup when he's
you know expected to be a reserve because they don't know anything about him he uh they go to
the liberty bowl that year and they lose to Purdue 28 to 25. So there's that.
He said that, you know, he's a lot better this year.
He said, quote, I matured.
OK, well, that makes sense.
So much of football at this level is mental.
You have to know your assignments so well that you instantly react when something occurs in a game.
In the past, I didn't know what the coaches wanted.
I always felt I had the ability to play if they'd give me a chance.
Well, no shit. Yeah, he said, I've always had what the coaches wanted. I always felt I had the ability to play if they'd give me a chance. Well, no shit.
Yeah.
He said, I've always had the size and strength.
At this point, he's bench pressing 520, by the way.
Get the fuck out of here.
What position does he play?
He's a linebacker.
He's pretty versatile, though.
He plays some nose tackle.
He plays linebacker.
They can stick him on the line.
He's a big guy.
He's a defensive monster. Yeah. Yeah. He's a big guy. He's a defensive monster, yeah.
Yeah, he's a big guy that can clog up a hole.
He said, but it's more than that.
You have to want to be a football player.
I've always lifted weights to be a better athlete,
but it's knowing the strategy, certain blocking techniques to do the job.
When I was a linebacker here, it never hit me about the drops in certain areas.
I just started realizing what they wanted.
So he kind of had an epiphany there of, oh, the coaches want me to know my fucking playbook
and stuff and know where things are going.
Fair.
You don't get athleticism in the fucking gym.
Yeah.
That's where you hone it.
That's not where you get it.
Well, in high school, you can just out physical everybody.
If you're a big giant, you're going to be a division one college star in high school you're you don't even need techniques
you're just mowing people over shoving them to the side they're just right they're not in your
line you're imposing your will yeah it's a it's men among boys at that point in college though
everybody's that big and that fast and in the nfl everybody's that big and that fast so you have to
actually know what the fuck you're doing at that point you can't have physical anybody right i don't know
many nfl guys who who they just say like you know what you're such a force just do what you want
never mind the playbook like lawrence taylor they did that with uh you know reggie white could do
what he wanted even that two guys every sunday was an exhibition of Lawrence Taylor's talent more than just his size and aggression.
Oh, yeah, he was only 230 pounds.
He was just speed.
The athleticism.
He could get so low.
It was crazy.
Speed and pure fucking nastiness.
He was nasty.
They always say him and Reggie White, they're like, if Reggie White had Lawrence Taylor's attitude,
Reggie White would have 300 sacks because he's a physical beast, but he's too nice of a guy. like him and reggie white they're like if reggie white had lawrence taylor's attitude reggie white
would have 300 sacks because he's a physical beast but he's he's too nice of a guy whereas lt
wanted to crush you and then step over your fucking adam's apple on the way away from you
you know he wanted to he wanted to destroy you he was meaner so uh 81 comes around now before the
81 college season though we have a crime and sports first.
Every once in a while, we have a guy never did this before.
We have one of those.
It happened.
The CIS first, everybody.
He's arrested in August of 81.
And guess what he's arrested for?
I'll give you just take three guesses what he's arrested for.
Trafficking steroids.
No, we've had that.
Plenty of it.
Locker room rape.
Nope, I think we've had that too.
Have we?
Male stripping.
Coach rape.
Male stripping.
What?
That's illegal?
Well, when your dong comes free, it is.
That's the problem.
Okay.
Apparently there was some women that tore his clothes off on a stage.
Back then.
That's his fault?
In the 80s, there was some, yeah, remember Betty Lou Beats?
Remember that story?
Didn't she get in trouble for that or some shit?
She was dancing and her tit came out or something.
They arrested her for it in a small-time murder.
If somebody tears your dick out, that's not your fault.
Well, that's the thing.
It's a wild story so he said that no one would have ever known what he was doing if he wouldn't
have gotten arrested that's the thing none of this would have been public he's the yeah thinks
he's the kid from summer school yeah he's doing it on the side but he uh apparently i mean he's a
big he's a big guy with a jacked physique and in the 80s
male stripping for women was a huge thing it was so big chippendales were like
fuck they were like a fortune 500 company they're like insane like you got just you know it still
is james the thunder down under has a residency in ve. It's crazy. Absolutely. But back then it was like every little town would have like Chippendale night.
And it was like a real, it was the first time like it was like acceptable socially for women to be like, I'm going to go see some dick tonight.
You know what I'm saying?
Everyone was like, you go, girl.
It was the first fucking time in history that that was okay.
So it was very uh it was out
there so he ended up ladies night ladies night for that though is called the male review whereas
dudes just are like i'm gonna go see some strippers you know what i mean yeah women are so much more
classy about seeing a dick women do it with friends and they like see the dick and they
yell to each other and they're like oh my god yeah men just leer like even if they go with friends they're not talking about it they're all just leering
like in a gross fucking way they're all you know like it's like the beginning of the accused all
the time in a strip club it's disgusting and that little that little bar around the stage is called
perverts row i could see that yeah that makes sense where yeah who wants everything about
i gotta be right everything about men seeing naked women is disgusting whereas women are just
much more classy about being disgusting let's not say classy they're going come over here
they're not classy they're not classy it's just their behavior isn't classy it's less sexually
aggressive in terms of in terms of if everybody just turned around, I'd rape you.
That's the look on every guy's face in a strip club, and it's creepy.
If I could just slip it in, I'd do it.
Whereas a woman would be like, you know, I don't know.
It's just a different.
Men are gross when it comes to that.
We're disgusting.
We have way grosser thoughts.
They're solitary, dark, creepy thoughts.
Whereas a woman, it's like, woo, swing a dick dick at us all and we'll laugh and drink our franzia
and the words describing the the behavior is so much more i don't know deserving of respect
whereas dudes are just fucking filthy about it oh they're gross we go back in the champagne room
you can show me your pussy yeah well for women it's a fun thing that they go do once in a while
with their friends for men it's like there's guys who go to the strip club to eat lunch
like on a daily basis you know what i mean like yeah it's different it's different it's a lifestyle
for guys for women it's a a night out once a year with the girls it's you know it's just a different
thing that's what it is so um tara got married let's go do this yeah she's getting married yeah
let's put inflatable inflatable dicks on our heads and go watch this these guys whereas dudes it's
just a guy's going they're like i'm here because i'm married yeah i stopped at the strip club on
the way home from work that's what i mean there's not a lot of ladies saying, like, I'll be home a half hour late and being like, I stopped at the mail.
I just needed to see some balls.
I don't know what it was.
I just really had to see some balls tonight to get me through the night.
I couldn't go home and look at my kids unless there were some balls in my face.
I just couldn't do it.
It's just less rare.
Or it's more rare.
That's all.
Less common.
Just less common just less common so apparently this was in a des moines strip club always you know des moines jesus des moines get it together we don't know so uh he was
in there yeah he needed some extra money and there was a strip act and it had professional dancers
now jeff said quote he thought they were quote a little
skinny all the dancers they don't best bench press 520 these guys so you know he said i just told
them i was a professional and that i'd done it before so he just lied and said that he painted
his body green and build himself as the incredible hulk because at that point, the Hulk, I think, was still on TV or just went off TV.
So he painted his body green, and he was the Incredible Hulk whose cock he couldn't look at, I guess.
I don't know.
Very funny.
Very funny.
He says, quote, I guess I was such a different body type from the other guys that it made an impression.
The other guys were a lot better dancers, but I had the body.
He just loves his body man he says though at the end of the act he was in a g-string you know that's his closer there and check this out he said a young woman jumped on the stage yeah
that's well we'll see if what's the cherry on top apparently a young woman jumped on the stage and
started like you know kind of being on him and
doing all this shit which uh he said a few minutes later he was arrested so uh there was that because
they said he was he was involved in some kind of public sex act or whatever because you know he was
dancing on this woman on the stage so i don't know what the laws are in iowa in 1981 but you know i
can't imagine they're that loosey-goosey when it comes
to sexual shit so yeah makes sense when it comes to very giant green men yeah that's hilarious to
get arrested naked and green and jacked like that what a weird thing to you're gonna go to jail in
a g-string with your entire body green everyone will avoid you i'll say that much because you're so big
they'll be like oh god he is gonna stay he's gonna fuck me i think what did that big fella do to get
in here oh no i'm gonna have green paint in my butthole i don't want that i gotta get away
so he said instead of paying four or five hundred dollars for a lawyer he just pled guilty and
just paid a fifty dollar fine that's all it was so he got got it over with so that's why it's on his record
and people are talking about it he said it was great man 300 chicks were yelling we want hulk
we want the hulk so there bring him out they get aggressive but in a group. It's very strange.
Oh, my.
You feel like, oh, they're all going to just attack me.
There's nothing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know that I would be more afraid of 300 people in a mob than horny women.
Yeah.
Physically, I've been around aggressive women like that that are like, oh, no you're i'm gonna do this with you and you're going home with me you're like thank god you're not like the have
the strength of a man i really appreciate that you're 120 pounds because i feel like i would
be in trouble otherwise like you know i'd be in a lot of trouble you're very aggressive yeah so he
says what ended up happening quote about 10 girls rushed up on stage and helped peel off your clothes
i guess that's
how it would work he said the girl in the front row pulled my g-string i just let it go for a few
seconds there were lady cops in the audience undercover i had to pay a 50 fine so they
pulled it down and he just he just swung his dong back and forth there and was like yeah you want
that all right cool the wait is So far, you're not losing.
The only thing you're losing is my patience.
Quickly, I see that.
Ding!
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I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
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She wanted to fight me. Leave a long okay so not this is not
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his brother that's not him yes ma'am I would make a beeline for the door
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music or wondery app well you're not allowed to do that he said um there were lady cops in the
audience they arrested me right after the show he said they watched the show though so that's pretty
funny yeah they watched the show well they they have to watch because that's how they get their evidence that's like a vice cop they know what happened yeah but that's like a vice cop going to a lady
on the street and go i had to get her to blow me before i knew she was serious i mean she agreed
to it she said 50 bucks she'd blow me but until her dick was actually her lips were actually
wrapped around my cock i didn't know if it was maybe not serious so i had to really i had to
finish the whole thing out.
There's a freedom of speech in this country.
I got to get the act delivered.
Yeah, to completion.
Yeah, I had to.
That's the only way.
Otherwise, is it really a blowjob, or is it just kind of playing around?
It's nothing.
This is why I have 100% conviction rate.
That's right.
That's right.
That's what I'm talking about.
They all know.
She's definitely sucking dick for money.
I'm glad it's definitely happened.
Because I got it on film.
I put my phone up to it, you know?
He said that management started paying him $100 a night for dancing.
So he'd get $100 a night, and then he'd get about $50 in tips from the women. So $150 a night in 1981 for a college kids goddamn good night not bad for a
couple hours he said uh no one would have known if i hadn't been arrested then i started getting
these letters from other cities they wanted me to come to their clubs because it got publicity
they saw his pictures uh he said there's also offers to pose for like adult magazines as well
you know like playgirl and shit like that and he
declined them though yeah and he went back to playing football and that was that um he did say
that if he hadn't that's the best fine you've ever paid yeah 50 bucks that's a lot of publicity for
50 bucks you can't buy that best investment ever everybody Best investment ever. Everybody knows who you are. Problem is it didn't lend itself to football teams and coaches being all that impressed.
That's the thing.
They're like, oh, well, he should have been studying his playbook, not stripping, is the way they look at it.
So he said he got calls from clubs in Wisconsin, New York, other places in Iowa, down south, all sorts of places.
Missouri was pissed off, though.
And, you know, they didn't put it like in the media guide as his hobby or anything.
So he said, quote, everybody thought it was because I got arrested, but it wasn't.
He said they thought it was pretty funny, mostly, but I was having grade problems.
So they left him out of the media guide.
And he was like, it was it wasn't because of the stripping it was because you know i almost flunked
out of school you know i wasn't only stripping i was also an idiot so there was two things to that
when i should have been studying i was swinging my dick in women's faces so when i should have
been studying i was sleeping so that at night i can go swing my dick in ladies' faces. It's a lot to move your hips like that, you know, to sway them.
Yeah, it is.
So he says, quote, from the age of 15 to 16 and a half, I went from 210 to 450 in the bench press.
I was a hyper sort of kid.
Bullshit.
I was a hyper sort of kid who was always rebelling against authority.
I guess that's why I always like to lift weights. I was that rebelling against authority i guess that's why i like to uh always like to lift weights how is that rebelling against authority don't you exercise i've never heard of
anyone telling any kids not to 16 year old how dare you exercise stop it get in front of the
couch here's a get a fucking atari controller in your hand what is it 81 here's a calico vision
controller and some cheetos what are you doing so. Have you watched the movie Tron yet? It's going to make you
want to play video games. Oh, you're going to
love it. So, he
said that
he talks
about playing
Nebraska
and Dave Remington
is on that team who's in Nebraska Center. He's
going to go against and he said, quote,
tell him we'll put our combined totals in weightlifting categories and we'll see who comes out on top. That's a Nebraska center he's going to go against. And he said, quote, tell him we'll put our combined totals
in weightlifting categories and we'll see who comes out on top.
That's not really how football is played.
If he can block you, it doesn't matter what you bench.
It doesn't translate to points, sir.
No.
Well, we did the calculations.
This team won 27-24.
But if you calculate the defensive line's bench press, it's actually 28-24, so they win.
That's not how it works.
He said, quote, pound for pound, I think I'm the strongest football player in the Big Eight.
Pick anybody else who weighs 230 pounds, and they're not even close.
Not even close.
So they asked him, are you going to stay stripping?
And he says, no, it's all over with.
He says, quote, I haven't done it anymore.
It was just one of those things you had to do once.
Besides, with a body like mine.
And he pointed to himself.
God, he loves him.
With a body like mine.
I mean, look at me.
Right.
Touch my abs, will you?
Just touch them.
I jerk off in the mirror, obviously.
I mean, if you want to jerk off to me, I understand.
Like, I mean, I'm not, like, into that sort of thing.
But, like, if you want to just whip it out and jerk it on the floor real quick, I mean, I wouldn't blame you.
We'll put it that way.
You tell me a part of my body you really want to look at, I'll flex it for you.
We'll focus in on it.
You can get it over with quick, you know.
So, he, 81, he's still playing football now.
The season starts.
He's 8-4.
8-4 the Missouri Tigers are.
They go to the Tangerine Bowl.
I don't think that exists anymore, does it?
I haven't heard of that one in a while.
It's confusing because we already have the Orange Bowl.
And the Peach Bowl and the Sugar Bowl.
They play Southern Miss, and they win 19-17 over Southern Miss.
So, yeah, he says after that he ends up getting an All-American slot
after the 81 season.
He's an All-American, which is like a huge deal.
Before the season, no one even knew who he was.
He was barely a starter.
He was not expected to be, not penciled into the All-American team, and it was he was barely a starter he was not expected to be not
penciled into the all-american team and it was just a big surprise that he won all-american
because he had such a great year because he works out so naturally and religiously and all of his
vitamins and everything without any steroids he's just doing great yeah he says they ask him about
it he says quote are you kidding this is wonderful is great. This is something I've dreamed of ever since I was a little kid and first started playing organized football.
Everybody hopes something like this will happen for them.
So he's very excited.
He's going to get to be on the Bob Hope Christmas special with the rest of the all Americans.
So that's all right.
It's a real kind of American institution back then.
He said, quote, It will be a distinct pleasure meeting him in more
oh no dave remington said this about jeff he said quote this is a guy he was talking shit about
it will be a distinct pleasure meeting him in a more and more pleasant circumstances than the
last time we got together after that game against jeff i had a headache for three days
that's called a concussion that's called like a grade two concussion, sir. That's why you had that.
Now they would be like, they'd be medically testing him and shit.
But then it was like, yeah, you're okay now, though.
Right.
All right.
Good.
Oh, shit.
Dave, that is frontal lobe damage.
That's what that is.
That's from slamming your helmet into his.
Jeff is also named Big Eight's Defensive Player of the Year by the Associated Press.
So, best in the conference.
This is incredible.
You know, he says that he just needed to be so happy his coaches gave him time to develop.
He went from being a benchwarmer to an All-American.
He said, quote, the ability was there.
It was a matter of getting time to develop.
There were a couple of injuries, and the coaches didn't like my free spirit non-conforming style you know
swinging my dick in women's faces and right downtown des moines um i've free as fuck yeah
i've got a better understanding now of what the coaches wanted and he says he still doesn't like
conformity though then he says says my favorite saying is and this
is fucking hilarious uh this is not a saying it's just i feel like he made it up on the spot
this is my favorite saying and he made up a clunky thing uh quote do not do not follow where the path
may lead but go instead where the path where there is no path and leave a trail it sounds like a
really bad motivational poster but that's what he says his that is make your own take the road less
traveled in way more work in two minutes and go instead where there is no path and leave a trail
and then do this and then do that and don't forget your keys and by the way we'll look out for animals
yeah and leave a trail behind you and make sure to put on off because there's ticks in the woods like
how many other fucking things are you gonna convolute that shit to jesus christ
let's take the path less traveled that's uh carve your own way that's he just jumbled a
shitload together and then through uh but also drop breadcrumbs so you
know how to get off yeah you know how it is there it's his favorite saying i'm surprised he didn't
go i mean you know it's not a great saying but with a body like mine i mean come on
who really needs it you know what i mean who really needs to have a saying so uh he said that
he's proud of the way he became an All-American because
he wasn't one of the guys that was on the list in the beginning of the year.
He had to come in out from nowhere and get people's attention. So he said some All-Americans
are due to preseason publicity. It's more of an accomplishment the way I did it. So yeah.
And then they said, well, what about stripping? And he said, I've retired from that career.
yeah and then they said well what about stripping and he said i've retired from that career he's retired there's articles in the paper here about coaches all around the country are using
his story as an inspiration to their bench players to their second string players to the marginal
players that yeah you can't you can go from being second string to all american in one year
you can also go from bench pressing 210 to 450 american in one year you can also go from bench pressing 210
to 450 pounds in a year with enough steroids anything is possible kids that's what he's
telling them basically jack up man so uh get yourself jacked so yeah there's all these coaches
this article about how they're like putting his fucking image up and going that's what you want
to be like that guy there you got to work hard he says uh that maybe his stripping helped him get the award you never know i believe it he said
that turned out to be pretty good publicity yeah the publicity was good because they offered me
twice as much money i was getting a hundred dollars plus tips the money was so good that
i did it three or four other times so after he was in the paper after getting arrested he ended
up going back and stripping more he just didn't tell anybody about it yeah they were offering him more
money so uh he said people wondered who i was uh i was it was a base my own hype an oddity it's
funny and then people wanted to watch me and see what kind of player this male stripper was so it's
he said you know this guy swinging his cock around let's see if he can play
got him some attention i don't know not good attention but publicity is publicity it's
attention anything's good and he presses good press so i'm going to say it right now he just
went all american he's a big eight defensive player of the year with a body like this he's
stripping 300 girls are screaming for him they're offering him more
money to look at his cock he's painted green grace this is grace right it doesn't get better
than this right all american with a desire to see you naked yeah imagine fuck imagine how many
college girls he's banging it's gonna be his life is never gonna be this good ever again we'll put
it that way so uh he ends up uh he ended up playing linebacker, defensive end, nose guard, defensive tackle.
He played everything in college.
And he says he did that on purpose.
He said in high school he even played tight end.
Well, he said, quote, I designed myself to be the all-around athlete
who could run fast and jump high.
Designed myself.
He's Ivan Drago now.
I put it in on the computer.
Taylor made, yeah.
Taylor made, babe.
He said, I have used my quickness and got to be as strong as I physically could be.
I mean, I'm 6'3", 235 pounds, and when I'm going against guys who are 6 7 267 that strength comes in handy i like
to hit them and use my quickness i want to get across the line first and neutralize them
so i jam a needle in my ass and i do that uh
his uh one of his coaches said that he could play professional football if his attitude improves
still got a shit okay so this attitude is a big
deal it's a big deal for them yeah that's his knock is his he's got a shit attitude he doesn't
keep his head in the game he doesn't study his playbook he's not as into this as he should be
which is uh yeah especially in the in the early 80s that's a huge knock they'd go around oh his
attitude oh no you know that would be god forbid right like we've never had a guy who's great at
professional football
with a shitty attitude.
I mean, come on.
Let's be serious here.
So he says, this is his coach, he has the physical ability to be a professional player.
He's quick.
He's not afraid of getting hit like some of those guys.
He sticks his head right in there.
He's going to have concussions all day long.
He doesn't even complain.
Way do you see it, boy?
He's going to be...
He doesn't care about his brain a lick.
He'll forget his address when he's about 55, but that's okay.
That's fine.
He said, quote, he doesn't mind contact.
And they said, Jeff said, quote, when the other team has a good runner like Earl Campbell,
you want to hit him as hard as you can.
You want to make him not want to carry the ball.
You want to hit a quarterback.
You want to hit a good quarterback so he will think twice about it next time so he's playing against earl
campbell that's what he's saying if he's in the nfl will be playing against earl campbell
right now earl campbell hasn't been around so uh the 82 nfl draft comes up here 1982 nfl draft
jimmy top pick you'll never get t. Tony Dorsett. No. Kenneth Sims.
Who?
A defensive end.
Phil Simms' dad?
Nope.
1M.
Defensive end drafted by the Patriots and only played in 74 career games,
which is not what you want from a number one overall draft pick.
74?
That's five years, right?
Yeah.
You want more out of a number one
draft pick in the nfl here yeah uh number two johnny cooks uh chip banks the linebacker number
three i remember him number four arch leaster a crime and sports alumni definitely uh go back
and listen to the arch leaster episode if you if you can because that is wild. Number five overall, Jim McMahon, the funky QB himself.
Jim McMahon, Mike Munchak, Hall of Fame guard is number eight.
Number 10 overall, Marcus Allen.
You were close with Dorsett, Marcus Allen.
It's another USC guy, isn't he?
Yeah, I think so.
So there you go.
Marcus Allen is there.
Then it thins out a little bit.
But a lot of guys like Mike Quick and guys like that here we'll talk about.
Round four comes up, and Baltimore picked Mike Pagel,
which turned out to be a better pick than Arch Leaster there, a quarterback.
Morton Anderson, Hall of Fame kicker, he is picked that year by New Orleans,
number four.
And two picks later, the Los Angeles Rams select Jeff Gaylord.
No kidding.
Yeah.
So two picks before Jeff.
There's a guy who played in, hold on, 382 games.
And I believe is the NFL's all-time leading scorer, if I'm not mistaken.
I think he is second now behind Adam Vinatieri.
Yeah.
When he retired retired he was
definitely number one so think about that okay this guy played for absolutely 20 fucking years
and uh yeah jeff but fourth round is a place where that's like borderline like if you're in
the first three rounds you could have a shit training camp you're still making the team you
know what i'm saying fourth round is like it's it's borderline but they're still looking at you all as like they have you penciled in to
make the team you have to fuck it up to not make the team you have to right they'll still cut you
if you're a fourth rounder but you have to like someone has to be way better than you you have to
fuck it up basically right and then anybody after that it's like they don't even give a shit who
cares the you're they assume you're not going to make the team, and if you make it, they're shocked.
That's how that shit works.
Right.
So, yeah, he goes fourth round.
And, like, out of the fourth round, the entire fourth round, there are only three guys who never played in an NFL game out of the whole fourth round.
So most of the guys make the team.
So he's signed by the Rams.
They signed him and signed some other guy they had here.
And he goes to training camp and is cut at the end of training camp.
He is one of the three guys from the fourth round
who never play an NFL game.
He's one of them.
That's hysterical.
So he has the Suge Knight cut by the Rams in training camp deal.
Same exact thing here.
Same entrance.
And it's got to be because of attitude.
There's no way physically they wouldn't want him.
It just had to be like, this guy just isn't what we're looking for.
So he ends up being signed, though, by the Toronto Argonauts of the CFL.
As we know, if you've fucked up in this country enough in football,
Canada is open arms waiting for you.
They cannot wait.
Nope.
And then if you fuck up in Canada, where do you go, Jimmy?
Oh, Europe.
Nope, nope.
Where do you go, Jimmy?
USFL.
Nope, the Raiders.
That's where you end up every fucking time.
We've had that several times where guys will, like,
crime themselves out of the league.
They'll go to Canada.
Canada doesn't want them, and then the Raiders will sign them.
And you're like, wow, that's wild.
That's fucking wild.
At least utilize them for a minute, yeah.
Yeah, so he only plays four games for Toronto before he is released.
So apparently they didn't like him up there.
He didn't have that Canada friendly.
Maybe they didn't see his dick.
Yeah.
You know.
Yeah.
Should have painted himself green for practices maybe.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Maybe he was too friendly.
That's possible.
He only had one sack in Toronto as well.
One sack.
So after that.
Lucky for him.
Perfect timing this guy has though.
Because in 1983 there's another
league starting up so you have another option it's the usfl yeah so he ends up being signed
by the boston breakers who are a very weird story the boston breakers they played in like this
tiny it looked like a high school like high schools in texas have better fucking stadiums
than this it was a total dump the stadium they played in it was a disaster um like their
quarterback was like 37 years old and it was the first year of the usfl it was a mess so uh
he goes when he plays 14 games as a starting nose tackle for Boston that year. So that's not bad. There's 18 games in a season, so not too shabby.
He has four sacks, too.
So as a nose tackle, those are good numbers.
Nose tackle, your main duty is to stop the run.
You don't usually see huge sack totals from all the high sack total guys
or edge rushers.
You're LT, you're Michael your LT, your Michael Strahan,
your, you know, going up through the years.
Or their linebackers on the second rung, right.
Yeah, or linebackers, like LT's an outside linebacker.
But they're edge rushers, basically.
If you're coming up the middle, you're not going to get a lot of sacks a lot of times.
And a lot of times your job is to clog the middle.
That's your whole job.
So in 1984, the Breakers moved to New Orleans.
The Breakers will end up playing in three cities in three years,
which is just a fucking mess.
Is that real?
Yeah, they couldn't find a goddamn place to go.
Boston didn't really want them.
Their attendance was terrible, so they moved to New Orleans,
which attendance for everything is not great in New Orleans, except that the Saints are really good.
It's not a high population of people there, so they end up moving from there, and then they'll move to Portland next year, which is another smaller market.
Boy, they covered the whole fucking country trying to find out.
Atlantic Ocean, fucking Gulf of Mexico, and then up all the way to the Pacific Northwest.
It's wild, isn't it?
So it's not the weirdest thing that happened in that offseason, though,
moving a team.
The weirdest thing that happened was entire teams traded for each other.
Oh.
This happened, Jimmy.
That's how fucking crazy the USFL is.
And this is a paragraph from.
The whole team.
They traded the whole team. not the players, the teams, owners, traded teams and coaches and everything.
So all the coaches and personnel that were on one team now were all the coaches and personnel of another team and vice versa.
It's they just traded entire teams.
Here's a paragraph from football for a buck.
The Jeff Perlman book about the USFL here.
He does a great job of breaking it down.
Quote, it's a confusing trade.
The Blitz, this is between the Chicago Blitz and the Arizona Wranglers.
Those are the two teams involved here.
So the Blitz name will stay in Chicago, but the Blitz players will become the Wranglers in Phoenix.
The Wranglers name will stay in Arizona, but the Wrang players will become the Wranglers in Phoenix. The Wranglers name will stay in Arizona, but the Wranglers players will become the Blitz
in Phoenix.
That's how it works.
They said at a news conference in Phoenix, Dr. Ted Dietrich, former Chicago owner, now
owner of the Wranglers, that they just traded owners everything.
They just traded.
They literally were like, I'll swap you just like your uniforms in your city, basically,
is what they swapped.
It's the weirdest shit.
He said, quote, I believe this is the first time in football history that a franchise with all of its players have been transferred.
We are the new Arizona Wranglers, but we hope to carry on the new winning tradition we had in Chicago.
Huh?
The fuck are you talking about?
huh the fuck are you talking about basically from what i understand the one guy didn't want to commute to he didn't feel like flying to chicago all the time so he was like i'm not
doing this shit i want to be in arizona it's easier for me so he lived in arizona so rather
than commute to the games every weekend he was like this is a huge pain in the ass can i just
trade teams that's fucking wow that is interesting here um so i can't imagine that
to be in that position just be like you know what i'm gonna do i like it here better i'm just gonna
trade everything i have for that yeah but why imagine the cardinals and bears traded everything
owners players coaches everything they're just different but the same team in the same city but Cardinals and Bears traded everything. Owners, players, coaches, everything.
They're just different with the same team in the same city,
but just a completely different everything, including ownership.
That's the weirdest thing in the world.
Who do you now root for them?
Because the owner of the Chicago team lived in Arizona?
Yeah, he didn't feel like flying in for the games.
It was annoying, he said.
So he'd rather just have the Arizona team.
It's easier for him.
I know it's a write-off and everything.
I just don't want to spend those six hours in the air.
Yeah, he didn't feel like traveling.
He didn't like it.
It was a pain in the ass going to see his football team play.
What a huge pain.
On a private jet, he'd come in.
It's just too much of a hassle.
Okay.
So now the in 83.
But he loves being an owner so much that he...
I'm not selling.
Jesus, no.
I'd rather just move it all here.
Good God, no.
So 84, the team goes 8-10 down in New Orleans.
They were 7-2 at one point,
and then the whole season fell apart.
They ended up losing the last six games of the season,
which is god-awful.
And Jeff played the first 13 games
and then was suspended for the last three games of the season.
So I don't know what he did, but he got suspended.
So his attitude again is a problem.
And he has six sacks that year too,
which is his best year.
Not bad. Six sacks is pretty good.
So six sacks that year, too, which is his best year. Not bad. Six sacks is pretty good. So six sacks.
And suspending a guy while you're in a big losing streak, I don't know.
But either way.
So they end up moving again, looking for a home from New Orleans.
They considered moving to Sacramento and to Columbus, I guess.
And there's even talk of merging with the Birmingham Stallions and just becoming one franchise merging.
But apparently they were interested in Portland.
It was a decent market.
They had a 32,000 seat stadium.
So they were like, OK, we could work with that.
That's something.
And they ended up saying they were doing it.
So this is the first time there's been a team in Portlandland since 1974 when the portland storm of the wfl were there and uh so
they were into it they sold 6 000 of their highest price tickets within 12 hours like they sold out
the whole inner bowl within 12 hours so people were into it portland will come out for shit they
like yeah they are like they'll go to stuff man you go
like see those trailblazers games for years they're packed uh we go there we could sell out
two shows there they love to go out and do shit we love portland so um anyway they relocate to
portland for the 85 season but jeff won't be going along to portland with them because he is traded
i don't know what the fuck he did to get suspended, but they just got rid of him, for Christ's sake.
He's their starter, and they got rid of him.
So that's interesting.
He ends up getting traded to the most disastrous franchise in the USFL.
Absolute mess.
The San Antonio Gunslingers.
No, the San Antonio Gunslingers are the fucking dregs.
It's just not.
It's barely even a team.
It's barely.
It's like the Bad News Bears somehow got in a professional league.
It's a disaster.
He plays defensive tackle for the first seven games,
and then he ends up leaving, and for good reason,
as we'll get into why a lot of the players ended up leaving here.
They just abandoned the team because they really oh they just stopped paying for them they got stranded places with like their oh jesus the check for their flight
would bounce so they were just stuck in cities after games and shit we'll get into this man
you want to hear some san antonio gunslinger stories oh boy let's do this just does this to
them just does it man um the team goes 5-13 this year because of this.
They were decent the year before.
Here's a guy.
This is, again, from Football for a Buck, the Jeff Perlman book.
Here's a quote here by Doug Banks, who's a running back for San Antonio.
Quote, my second practice with San Antonio,
they had us doing full contact drills with nothing but helmets on.
No pads.
There's nothing but helmets on.
A guy tackled me, and I broke my collarbone in three places a coach comes up to me minutes later and
asks whether i can whether i can take the bone out and get back early a coach asked him that
he said quote i went home the bone out you don't need it you don't need that i went home to san
diego and never returned he said so he's like i'm getting the fuck out. You don't need it. You don't need that. I went home to San Diego and never returned, he said.
So he's like, I'm getting the fuck out of here.
So anyway, they were looking for markets.
They wanted to go to Minneapolis, Seattle, some places like that.
But it ended up being San Antonio here.
The owner of the team is an oil guy named Clinton Mangus.
Now, this guy is fucking crazy he's like a cartoon he's a cartoon 10 gallon
hat oil man who's just crazy and i just do it by my gut i hear fun i just do it by my good well
it's fun unless you're playing football and he owes you money that's the thing it's fun unless
you're you need to fucking get paid by he's's one of these multimillionaires who doesn't feel like he needs to pay people.
We've heard a lot of these people recently.
I don't like that.
Well, yeah.
No, but I mean.
It'd be fun if you were his friend, but not if you're his fucking employee.
You don't want to work for this asshole.
I don't want to work for him.
So they didn't do the same background research that the nfl does the nfl is like they
go up people's ass with a microscope when they do ownership before they let them buy something yeah
they did there that he had a bunch of money and he's willing to put it into the usfl and san
antonio so like fuck it let him do it um he uh this is from his biography here that he had
commissioned i think clinton mangus that he's
quote known throughout south texas as a man who knows what he wants and how to obtain it
mangus prides himself on having as many loyal friends as detractors so as many people like me
as hate me that's a compliment to him he's uh and he's like uh you know he dropped out of school
before the fifth grade you know he came from awesome he came from shit he's like, you know, he dropped out of school before the fifth grade. You know, he came from awesome.
He came from shit.
He's one of those guys who came from shit.
He's enjoying his money.
James, he first started getting his money is the way he got money was a rich guy stopped at the gas station.
He worked at and said that, do you know where this farm is?
I'm going to go make an offer on this farm, blah, blah, blah.
I want this farm and all the shit so he
was he was talking to him about it and he said yeah sure so when the guy left he called the farmer
and bought the farm from and made him an offer that was less than that guy would pay so now
the guy left and he went there and he said about an hour later he came back to the gas station he
goes you're gonna deal with me now if you want that farm and i know how bad you want it so it's
gonna cost you so that's the kind of guy he is like that was his idea of how
to get ahead that's how he started getting ahead in real estate that was his first real estate so
the guy paid him instead of saying well then hang on to that farm you fucking dummy yeah the guy
needed that he was telling him how much he wanted the farm and how much he was going to buy that
farm and uh you know he was like taking him as a
dumb kid at the gas station of you know do you know anything about that i could use about this
farmer to try to get the price down or whatever because i'm willing to go this high but i don't
want to and all that kind of shit and then so yeah he ended up fucking him so uh now san antonio is
the 45th largest television market which is not ideal obviously obviously. And the stadium there, Alamo Stadium, had been built in 1939
and only had 24,000 seats in it,
which the rule is you have to have 30,000 is the USFL's minimum rule for a city.
So they found a way to get around that, though.
The one guy, a beat writer for the San Antonio express news said,
quote,
it was a high school stadium with a track around it.
It was known as the rock pile.
The paint was peeling.
Russ could be seen in every corner.
So it was a piece of shit.
It was just a piece of shit,
old stadium that was left to rot.
And folding chairs on the fucking track.
That's what they did.
They put six,
they brought in 6,000 foot,
not on the track, but in this one end zone that was open there they had like those stadiums sometimes
have an open yeah they just filled that with six thousand folding chairs just to get up to the what
they needed to have for the rules of the league yeah so uh he said one of the league's executive
directors said quote at the time he was on the Forbes 400 list. This is Mangus.
He said that he was the king of the world.
He flew up to meet us in this unique aircraft.
He had some fancy wheels take him to the office.
We did legal checking on him, and he had plenty of money.
Then he went down to his ranch.
He had a landing strip, a helicopter at the house, all of these imported animals.
I'm talking African antelopes.
They just ran around
like the land was a safari he's just got this weird um and then he had big plans for the team
and the league and everything seemed so great so um yeah they were so impressed with him that they
decided not to force him to make an initial capital investment so they didn't even make him
put like a bunch of money in like an an escrow just to make sure in case
you don't pay everybody. You know what I'm saying?
Your shit can be delivered. They were like,
oh, he's got tons of money. He's fine.
Guy's got fucking antelopes.
He'll be alright. Look at this. They could sell
an antelope until we could pay all the linebackers.
It's no big deal. The director
of marketing for the Gunslingers
said he seemed to be rolling in money and
glamour he took
me on a trip before the start of the season to visit the teams in tampa and los angeles to see
how they did things well we went to uh to the bandits uh bandits on a learjet and then instead
of going to california he decided we should go hunting in alaska so we went there killed some
caribou and came home like it was no big deal he just decided you know what let's not
go to california you want to run up to alaska real quick and go hunting just on a whim so that is
unbelievable he sounds like a fun guy to be right i mean like that's the you all everybody he's a
goddamn party james that's kind of like the american dream to be like you know people around the world i
don't know if it's the same obviously everybody wants to be comfortable support their family all
that but americans distinctly have this weird thing of like i'd like to have so much money
that i can have weird antelopes running around in my yard and tell everybody to go fuck themselves
they don't like it it's a weird thing that we all have in us i don't know what it is i want to have so much money i can be hilariously uh just
just in the wind with my money just i can just throw shit away that's wasteful just hilariously
wasteful yes to make myself laugh i can piss money away that's like a weird american thing to do
i don't know if it's like that in like europe i don't know if or asia or you know i'm not sure if they're the same way so um he
hires a coach who is like well past his prime and a fucking disaster it's a guy named gil stanky
and he was uh he was uh he was a defensive back for the eagles he was a head coach in the in the
uh in college for 23 years the only problem is the last time he had coached was 1976.
And it was 1983.
So he'd been retired.
The game passes you by quickly.
Football. New schemes come up.
You don't even know what's going on if you're out of the game for two years. The game's evolved since then.
If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued,
what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous
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how the hell did we get here follow wiki hole on the
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wondry plus in the wondry app or on apple podcasts then yes uh he also i believe had like uh blew one
of his fingers off at one point he had like a half a finger on a couple of his couple of his fingers i know similar to you there he was best known for watching the games from the stands the games he
was coaching jimmy he was coaching again head coaching and he just goes sit in the stands with
his wife he just go sit up there giant cookie yeah fuck yeah i'll get a hot dog. Hold on. I got to take a leak. What are you doing?
It's third down.
I got to go get mustard.
He said, quote, the sideline is the worst possible place to watch.
That's what he said.
You can't tell what the devil is going on from the sideline.
I try to sit about 12 rows up where it's high enough that I can see and low enough so it's
not too far down to run down to the field.
You know, because he's fucking working.
He's not in the...
He's got to make a play call.
Oh, my God.
At home, I ask a student to save me a couple of seats in the aisle.
I sit at about the 20 so I can stay away from the band,
and I sit on the student side so I can stay away from the alumni.
Yeah, because they're going to talk to you because you're the head coach,
and you're in
the stands rather than on the field where you should be.
Can you imagine that?
That's hysterical.
Imagine the Raiders hired John Gruden to come back and he was like, I only have one stipulation.
I'm not going to be on the sidelines anymore.
I prefer to watch the game in the stands with my wife.
It's just a better view.
No.
You know, I've been watching the super
bowl these past few years and i see up in the suites all these ex-players are having the time
of their lives that's where i want to be that's right food poured in on me matter of fact i don't
want this job i just realized i like watching football but not actually participating in the
game uh they said he walked slowly i want to sit up there with an ex-president and drink beers that's all he said he walked slow he talked slow he was just a slow older guy uh this
is the best the defensive coordinator jim bates said this is the best opening to a sentence you
don't need the rest of it he said quote we didn't use the term dementia back then dot dot dot that's
just all you need to know in other words he had dementia and didn't know what he was doing.
They said he would go, hold on.
He'd be in a team meeting and he'd say, hold on, I'll be right back.
And he'd never come back.
They'd sit there for 45 minutes and then they'd go, where's coach?
And they'd go, he took off 45 minutes ago.
And they were like, holy shit, he just forgot he needed to come back and left.
He would get lost going to the stadium that he goes to all the time i'm late sorry i got lost
fellas they'd be like what you work here every day what are you talking about he had you know
he's also fun he's a lot of fun this guy that's what i mean this sounds like fun this whole mess
if you didn't have to actually depend on it for a paycheck, it sounds great. Now, the this is this.
This is football major league.
This is that's what it is.
They said that all the players said that San Antonio was the perfect town to be a professional player because it's big enough to where there's enough people to support a team, but small enough to where you're the only fucking game in town.
You're the biggest thing there is because they don't have anything else.
you're the only fucking game in town you're the biggest thing there is because they don't have anything else so they said all the players said they didn't pay for a drink for a meal for
anything really they were the gunslingers and that was it they said they had a shitload of groupies
basically a shitload of groupies he said that they uh one guy said that they quote had an invisible
all access pass to most anywhere just anything they wanted to do um multiple this is crazy multiple members of the gunslingers would snort
coke in the locker room openly just off the benches just fucking cutting up lines on the
benches nobody cared nobody fucking cared who gives a? Coach is in Section 204 right now. Let's just do it if we want.
What the fuck does he care?
He's talking to his wife, eating a hot dog.
Jeff Gaylord.
The owner's fishing for tuna in New England right now.
Gaylord says, quote, drugs were huge in the USFL.
I once went to my Coke dealer, got a $1,000 bag, tooted it, stayed up all night, and then played.
That's just how it was in the 80s in sports.
That's why you're getting cut from fucking teams, dude.
That's why you're being traded.
I just want, why did the New Orleans, you think they traded him and suspended him?
Maybe that's why.
Shit like that.
You can't do that.
That's not okay.
why shit like that like that you can't do that that's not okay um one guy on the team said quote we had one right wide receiver who would kneel down and do blow right there i'd never seen that
before on the sideline he was doing blow holy shit just like off his helmet just like office
put a little on his fucking finger and do it he'd do bumps off his finger on the sideline they said
they would do it on the field sometimes like during a break it's fucking crazy uh he says quote a lot of times we'd go party
until 4 a.m then sleep in our cars in the stadium parking lot so we wouldn't miss practice san
antonio was an amazing town amazing we'd practice until noon be in the pool by one maybe lift later
in the day then every night we'd wind up at fizz which was a
dance club we were the only football team in san antonio so wherever it was it was yo it's the
gunslingers come on in so they just used this as their own little party town now uh hilarious they
they stunk and the team in the town loved them they didn't care they're the only thing they had
and uh the huge guys it's easy to tell who they are.
They were cheap as fuck.
Ruth Mangus, who is Clinton Mangus' wife, she drove a brand new Cadillac.
But instead of putting a team decal on the door like she wanted, the team was too cheap to pay for decals.
So she, this is fucking awful.
Brand new Cadillac.
She cut out the logo from a poster and scotch taped it to the door of the car.
Hilarious.
That's one of the coaches said, think about that.
The millionaire wife of the team's owner.
Like, what the fuck are you doing?
She's out there stretching out scotch tape across her car.
Yeah.
That ought to hold it.
And I hope it doesn't rain.
Got to replace it.
Here's a guy says, quote, I'll give you an even better one.
We went back and forth from the hotel to the stadium during training camp on something called the gunslinger bus.
It was an old converted San Antonio public school bus, which they repainted green and put the old Gunslinger logo on it. The driver on the bus was an old guy named Byron,
and because the gas gauge on the bus didn't work,
he'd have to get out periodically and stick a measuring stick into the gas tank
to see what the level was.
We ran out more than a few times.
Well, no shit.
I'm short.
Hold on.
I got to go fucking mark the twain here.
Let's do this.
What are you doing?
That's fucking bad wild um one time ruth mangus was bowling she was a big bowler um she hurt her shoulder while bowling
and like i think the team president asked the team trainer or doctor to look her over and he was in
the middle of working on players so he said i'm sorry
i need another 30 minutes to help some players then maybe i can and the guy yelled at him and
said no you work for mr mangus do it now so tell the players to clear out with their injuries
her shoulders a little sore from bowling get over there and scotch tape her shoulder jesus
one guy said that sort of
thing isn't exactly a good way to bolster positive feelings from the team no i would say not uh one
time they're on national television uh on a on a big game everybody's seeing it national tv
at halftime they held a giveaway a raffle ticket giveaway of a car. And the team's public stadium address announcer that worked for the team, he leaned into the microphone and he said, quote,
Tonight's winner of the 1984 Dodge Charger is, oh, my God, it's me.
Booze, boo, boo.
If you ever heard Jim Cornette, that's called called wouldn't you know who won the pony that's
what that's called the old wrestling thing is we're going to give away this pony at halftime
and blah blah blah or at you know at intermission and then at intermission you pull the name out
and he goes the winner of the pony is wouldn't you know who won the pony it's my son you know
that would be the guy and that was like the old southern like you know wrestler promoter fuck you
wouldn't you
know who won the pony that's what he calls it all the time whenever something like that happens well
wouldn't you know who won the pony when something's fixed so it's me uh turns out he actually had
bought a ticket and it was legitimate but the fans obviously fucking hated it because they're
he should never he's no don't buy a ticket for that. No. Fucking idiot.
An 84 Charger, too?
Yeah.
An 84 Charger, which was new at the time.
Yeah, but that's like one of the worst cars.
Not a good car.
I'm sure he got it for free from one of the sponsors.
You know what I mean?
So it was one of those.
It was a brown one they couldn't sell.
It was like a brown manual four-speed.
And they're like, I don't know.
Nobody fucking wants this.
It's like a brown manual four speed.
They're like, I don't know.
Nobody fucking wants this.
So the another cheap thing they did that hurt the players. A majority of the contracts in the USFL stipulated that a player had to appear in three straight games to earn his full salary.
That's that was one of the weird rules they have.
So this this wasn't real important because most guys would, over 18 games,
play in three straight.
Otherwise, they'd be on injured reserve probably.
But Mangus used this as a loophole to not pay people.
That's fucked up.
One guy said they'd play us two games, then sit us.
That's what they would do.
Unless you were marquee, you'd find yourself inactive every third game.
Everybody did. That is fucked yep uh the usfl teams had active and inactive rosters and if you were on
the inactive roster you got paid peanuts but you couldn't be stashed if you're there if you were
injured that's how they did it they couldn't put you up they couldn't make you inactive if you were
injured that was a different thing that counted as playing a game if you're injured so this is
rick newheisel who's a big announcer and he was the uh i think he's a coach too wasn't he a coach
rick newheisel he was their quarterback at the time i don't know he said quote that's a coach
name yeah it sounds like it he said quote we had our quarterback meetings in the gm's office
because our space was so small and one day i opened the drawer looking for a pen and i saw a
list of who they were
planning on putting on the inactiveness list and he said I told those guys you have to get hurt
today that's what he went to practice and said no you you have to and for the next seven weeks in a
row I'd look to see who was about to be inactive and then those guys would come up with really
goofy injuries because they'd make them up. Head bruises, twisted sternums.
They started making up shit like that.
And the team never caught on.
Pulled kneecap.
Yeah, they didn't know.
The team didn't know.
They never caught on.
They never caught on.
He said, my God, they were so cheap.
That's how cheap they were.
They were so cheap.
They had terrible artificial turf.
And it wasn't.
They said that they had paint injuries, a lot of paint injuries, because they're so cheap.
They didn't fucking they didn't do like the right paint that you're supposed to do.
They use standard grade industrial paint.
So if you're oh, my God, you can't fall and cut yourself on that shit.
It's bad for you. So, uh, one, one guy said a defensive end said, quote, to be precise, it was an industrial
crust, not even a fucking paint.
He said, uh, they were too cheap, cheap, and then they would never have it properly cleaned
the surface.
They wouldn't clean it at all.
So they said they would get all sorts of skin infections and boils and, uh, gross.
They talked about one time Steve Young had a, I guess he must have slid.
He had a big scab from his middle of his thigh down to his ankle.
And he said he would scream in the shower.
He had to put a fucking bag over it to take a shower because it was so painful and infected from the turf.
And he says, quote, this guy says, everyone's spitting on it, hocking loogies on it,
and you combine that shit with 100 degrees, it's nasty.
I got the worst boil on the back of my knee from being exposed.
It's fucking bad.
Jesus, it's disgusting.
God, it's so gross.
That's a terrible way to describe it.
Right?
Just the word industrial crust doesn't sound like something you want to fall on at all, right?
I don't want to fall on the crust.
No, it's at this time, too, in 85, that the checks start to bounce now.
All of this, they were still getting paychecks.
But now they start to bounce.
A player or two would be told, oh, there's a problem.
The last couple guys to cash it wouldn't get it.
And then it started to be more and more. Rick Neu heisel said it was like gumball rally at one point like people would
get in their cars and fucking gun it you could only go to one bank that's the other thing there
was only one bank you can cash it at so you had to drive it was like 40 minutes away to this bank
to cash your check so everybody would race there you got a guy in
like a fishbowl car a guy in a hot air balloon that's oh yeah guy going yeah guy like in a
paddle boat thing across with the water next to him fucking one of those wright brothers
contraptions with pedals and wings it's all going on like that's what he said it was you had to get
there they said they would leave practice they'd get their checks and they'd fucking run out of practice to go they couldn't wait fuck practice i gotta get
paid uh one guy said uh wit taylor a backup quarterback said quote i got paid in 20 bills
one game that's not how they do it in professional football at all he's somebody went to the atm for
him yeah he said that was different never had that happen
before they said they were jumping in their cars to race to the frost bank in the nearby town of
freer a guy said it was like the indy 500 your only chance of getting any money was to beat the
rush uh one guy the ticket manager said i went for weeks on end without getting paid i still have
checks signed checks that i couldn't cash they'd say here's your check but don't go to the bank just yet hold on now give the give that one
a few days would you it's gotta it's gotta marinate for a few days if you know what i mean
it's really gotta mature you gotta really let it settle in there the uh assistant equipment
manager said quote it was ludicrous checks were bouncing all
over the place somebody in the front office would actually tip off the equipment guys when the checks
came in so we'd rush off the field run to the office get the check and haul ass to the bank
and cash it so in practice they're like hey i need a ball where's the where's the fucking balls man
where's the equipment guys they're gone oh that's amazing uh wow uh on april 7th of that year um uh mangus
called a team meeting and the players uh you know were all around him and he apologized for the
issues and with the bank and he said he guaranteed full payment asap by personal guarantee this isn't
the company or the team this is clinton mangus telling you I'll pay you out of my pocket if I have to.
I don't care, God damn it.
In the meantime.
I ain't Clinton Mangus.
That's right.
My name ain't Clinton Mangus.
In the meantime, he said, everybody go over to the GM there,
and he's going to give you a promissory note, quote, 100% guaranteed on my honor.
On a Texas oil man's honor honor so you know what that's
worth so the following payday checks bounced again so uh unsurprisingly and by the way that's
the jeff left after that that's when he was done uh after that many games yeah that's when the
checks started bouncing he fucking took off he's like i can swing my dick around and make more
money than this so and also he had an in he had an in in wrestling that we'll talk about so that's where
he ended up going but we'll talk about this um one time they uh traveled to jacksonville for a game
and the players and coaches got off the plane and mangus and his executives uh were all in the front
he said they were greeted at the airport by a fleet of limousines and one player
was pissed and said look at that shit they're not paying us and they have limos what the fuck
and another player said quote don't sweat it they're not probably not paying them either
they were like yeah that's a good point never mind they're stiff and those fucking guys too
don't worry yeah oh my god um one day it was a may 11th game two days before they were supposed to play at
orlando the traveling secretary uh was uh uh was sitting at his desk a guy approached him and he
said we need to get the money for the flight to florida and uh the guy came back with a forty
thousand dollar check for brana fairways and uh it was written from it was a personal check from
ruth mangus's bank account not a team check it was a personal check from Ruth Mangus's bank account
not a team check it was a personal
check with bowling balls and bowling pins
on it because that's what she likes she's a bowler
she said quote
and the check had images of bowling balls and pins
on it she loved bowling
the airline took the funds and they
took them to Orlando
two days later eight hours before
kickoff the team had a 10 o'clock breakfast meeting in the Marriott where they were staying.
And a phone rang and the coach answered it.
And it was the team accountant on the other end of the line.
And the coach said, what's that?
What?
Everybody was pissed.
And he said, you can't be serious.
You mean to tell me we might not have a flight back home?
So the players are like, what the fuck?
Everybody's mad, throwing shit around.
And he says, you need to fucking get us home.
What the fuck?
People are throwing food at the front of the room and all this type of shit.
That's crazy, basically.
They said that there was no way home after the game because the check bounced.
So they said they were stranded.
It was fucking bad. What ended up happening is they had to get the governor of Texas, who was a friend of Mangus's, to call the airline to ask them to do it and put it on me, basically.
On my word, take the fucking team home, please.
So that's how they ended up doing it.
On my word, we'll get you the money back.
Just do it.
Yeah, it's fucking crazy so rick new heisel said i think it was that kind of existence every day a carnival which uh it sounds like it he said uh some guys would come and they
would say they're not going to play they'd have meetings are we going to practice are we going to
play and the coaches would tell them like come on guys you got to hang in there and do all this
shit and they'd be like, fuck you.
I haven't been paid in a month.
Don't fucking tell me what to do.
So then it was hard to have a practice
because you can't yell at a guy who hasn't been paid in a month.
Because he's like, fuck you.
I'm not running shit.
Pay me if you want me to fucking run.
Otherwise, I'll go out and play on Sunday.
Eat my shit.
The things I do, I do them for cash.
And I'm not getting that, so I'm not doing that.
No shit.
On one occasion, an arbitrator threatened to release 30 players from their contracts
if Mangus didn't make good on their bounce checks.
They actually went to an arbitrator.
So one guy, the defensive coordinator, said it caused a real divide.
How do you play for no money?
It was a good point.
He said, you got guys in there and uh i'm like i haven't
been paid in three weeks shut the fuck up which makes perfect sense they said uh with five games
left there was all sorts of problems uh one time an airline they couldn't get to baltimore uh until
mangus showed up with a suitcase or with a with a suitcase of money basically he had to show up
with all of it in cash they wouldn't even take a check from him now at this point.
So, yeah, he said, you love the game, but you play to eat.
You can't eat without money, is one of the nose tackles said,
which is very true.
He said it was stressful.
I remember one meeting where a couple of the coaches walked in
and the players wanted us out.
I said, listen, don't think how you vote doesn't affect us too.
Emotions got really heated there
were players who were best friends who became enemies uh there one team executive who signed
the checks had an office in a double wide trailer and he was like a 70 year old man and when players
would come he would climb out of the window in his three-piece suit and drive away out of the
window of a of a fucking trailer until one guy came in with a baseball bat at one point, and he got paid.
That's what it took.
You had to go to the team with a baseball bat, which is fucking crazy.
This is great.
Most of the team threatened to sit out the June 9th game against the Los Angeles Express
unless they were paid immediately.
It got really fucking bad.
In June, Mangus just stopped paying all the
franchises bills nothing got paid nobody the players the coaches everybody played the last
four games without getting paid he kept saying pay the next week and never paid them four games
so you got guys getting injured for free you get out a guy who literally has a you know limps to
this day for free didn't even
get paid to get it that's that's pretty fucking crazy was there no back pay after this no well
we'll get into that uh greg fields who's a great story greg fields he's a big crazy son of a bitch
we could probably do an episode on him honestly uh he locked himself inside this is he he used to
play for the Atlanta Falcons
and when they went to cut him, he
wouldn't come out of his hotel room.
They knock on your door and say, get your playbook
and talk to your coach. He wouldn't come out.
They literally had to get the police to come
take the door off the fucking hinges. The police
and maintenance from the hotel to get him
out of the room to kick him out.
That's a weird way of getting...
Not today.
I'm going to stay right here nope do not disturb motherfucker i'm good i'm all right no i'm good i'm gonna stay but you're no nope nope nope i'm okay don't know i'm all right no continental
breakfast i'm good today, thank you.
Then he went to play for the Los Angeles Express of the USFL,
and he was cut, I mean, this is, I mean, you know,
not every team would cut you for this.
He got cut for slugging one of the coaches.
So, you know, that's, he punched a coach.
A big 6'5", 280-pound guy punched a coach,
so they cut him immediately, obviously.
In his defense, he did play for the San Antonio Gunslingers where anything goes.
Well, that was before he got to the Gunslingers.
Oh, really?
That's how he ended up on the Gunslingers. He punched lasting again.
And no one else wanted him except Mangus was like,
I'll take a run on that fella there.
I'll take a flyer on him.
Sounds like a good guy.
That guy barricaded himself in a hotel room.
It's fucking crazy.
Yeah.
By the way, the gunslingers went two and nine in their last 11 games.
So once the paycheck started stopping, you know, guys just didn't have it.
So it was the effort.
So Fields was waiting to get paid so he said rather than hunt down the
guy who climbs out the window the you know the guy who works for the team or punching one of my
coaches he said quote i told myself man i can't take this no more or anymore i need to do something
so i followed him home he waited for mangus to come to the facility and then stayed back and followed him to his house.
He said he trailed Mangus until they arrived at his ranch.
He said he parked his Buick LeSabre a couple of streets away.
And he said as the guy walked up to his front door, Mangus, Fields said he sprinted up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder.
Mangus turned. he sees he's
six seven two sixty five fields he's a fucking yeah monster and uh he's got a baseball bat in
his hand a monster with a baseball he doesn't need a baseball bat but he has one anyway
like imagine dracula having a gun you'd be like you can what are you doing why you're a mortal
and you just you can you don't need this.
He said, quote, hey, Clinton Mangus, don't tell me you're broke, man.
You're not going to have me believe that stuff.
He said, listen, pay me.
I'm going to be a big headache for you.
Pay me off so you don't have no big headaches, which is something when a 6'7 huge man with a baseball bat standing in front of you.
And that guy says, do this and you won't have a headache you won't have a headache i'll do whatever that is
so now mangus knew that he punched a coach and all this type of shit so he said i'll be right back
he walked in the house he said he was gone for about 10 minutes mangus came back and he had a
thick wad of 20 of 100 bills huge big stack of them and
he says do you want to sign something and field said nope don't worry i'm not coming back and
just snatched his cash and left i don't need your fucking receipt he reached 17 000 and hundred
dollar bills he gave him 17 grand is what he owed him the guy said he went back to his apartment
packed his shit up and drove home to san francisco he's like fuck this place i'm out of here so the last way a guy got back at him was remember the uh folding chairs okay yeah 24 000
spectators there uh they had 6 000 folding chairs they were blue metal folding chairs
and uh there was a guy who did the field his name was big chief and he would unfold all the folding
chairs before a game and then stack them all back up again afterwards one by one so uh the seating
it was really stupid so basically a couple hours after the lights you know everything's gone
everybody's out the this player bradley he uh him and a friend of his rented a truck from Hertz.
Okay?
Now, this Bradley was owed $27,000 by Mangus.
So he knew that he would never get it.
So he gave Big Chief a couple hundred bucks to look the other direction and
backed the moving truck onto the field.
And over the course of three back-and-forth trips, they loaded 6,000
chairs into the truck.
He said, quote, I drove them to Fort Worth and sold them for $8 each.
The gunslingers never knew what happened to their chairs.
So he ended up getting more money than he was owed for them.
$48,000?
Yeah.
Is that what that is?
Yeah.
So that's not bad there.
Good shit.
So not too shabby.
The attendance was at 11,721 a game which is the
worst in the league very very bad shit here uh finally a month after the season the uh commissioner
offered mangus to make rent restitution for the team's debts in 15 days or lose the franchise
and so he didn't and so the gunslingers are the only usfl franchise to be
revoked so they fucking pulled it out so if there ever was an 86 season san antonio wasn't going to
be involved in it which is uh they didn't though because then the league folded because uh somebody
wanted to go to the fall for some reason so um yeah you can listen to plenty of shit on that
uh he owed uh the uh his holding company, South Texas Sports,
was auctioned off to pay for more than $650,000 in debts
related to the team.
Players also sued him for back pay,
and this ended up collapsing him the whole deal,
and Mangus ended up filing for bankruptcy eventually here.
And, yeah, some of the players still hadn't been paid at the time
when they had a 1998 reunion 15 years later people still hadn't been paid and no payers players or
staff members that were owed back wages had been paid at the time of his death in 2010
mangosteen what a dick that's what i'm saying i'm like yeah fun guy if you're him but if you're anyone around him he's a dick one time he fucking brought in his landscaper who was a high school he went to high
school with the guy and the guy was a good punter in high school he was like a five foot seven
paunchy landscaper who was in his 40s and he said brought him to the stadium and said he's our new
punter he was good he's a this booming son of a bitch can kick a ball.
He couldn't kick it any better than anybody else standing around.
So this poor bastard had to stand there on the sidelines
in a fucking uniform for a couple games,
hoping that they didn't put him in because he didn't know how to play.
It was fucking crazy.
So it's at this point where Jeff goes from football to wrestling.
Would you like to see a picture of Jeff at this point in time, Jimmy?
I'd love it.
Take a peek at that.
Holy shit.
Look at his thighs.
Those legs are hot.
That is not natural.
There's never been a leg.
That's the most incredible leg I've ever seen.
It looks like he has a giant mashed potato in each leg.
That's what it looks like. His muscles in his looks like he has a giant mashed potato in each leg that's what it looks like his muscles and his legs are giant baked potato i mean it is like
just a huge one fucking huge so much leg it's a lot of leg show me some leg and he's got plenty
to show um that guy dressed he painted himself green green and took his dick out i mean with a body like this you know the body like mine obviously
so in 85 he ends up making his wrestling debut with mid-south wrestling which turned into uwf
later on mid-south is bill watts he's the guy who runs that territory bill watts loves a big tough
football player that's his favorite kind of guy that's who he wants as wrestlers dr
det steve williams all those guys that's his prototype of a guy because that was him he was
a college football player so that's what he thinks it should be big tough you know some bitch like
that look at that guy james yeah he's a big jacked up son of a bitch and that's i think what he sent
out to wrestling places to try to get booked so they they booked him. By the way, for a while, he's going as the Missouri Tiger, Jeff Gaylord, because he's
why?
Because they play up that he's a real athlete.
They used to do that all the time.
And Bill Watts was big on that shit.
Like Steve Williams wore his Oklahoma Letterman jacket to the ring instead of a robe.
Like if you were a legitimate athlete, a legitimate sports guy, he was going to definitely tell everybody that you were a legitimate athlete a legitimate sports guy he was going to definitely
tell everybody that you were a legitimate athlete so he's the missouri tiger um so he ends up uh
starting out in here and you know he's obviously losing a little bit at first but then they get him
you know beating up some uh smaller guys to uh show off his strength here.
He feuded with Ivan and Nikita Koloff.
So he got in there with the whole Russian thing of neither guy being Russian,
one being a French Canadian and the other being from Minnesota. But, you know, Russians.
I found an article from 1986 from the Richland Beacon News in Rayville, Louisiana.
Louisiana was
kind of one of the central hubs of the
UWF Mid-South there.
And it was the Rayville youth
baseball team got support from some athletes
of a different sport Tuesday night.
Universal Wrestling Federation members
such as Jeff Gaylord, Coco
Beware, which remember Coco Beware with
Frankie the Bird. That's a parrot.
Brett Wayne Sawyer, I think itie the bird yeah it's a parrot uh brett wayne sawyer
i think it was uh uh the other sawyer's brother buzz sawyer's brother and the fantastics were at
rayville high school stadium to help raise money for the ball field that was another thing bill
watts did a lot was he was very much into like wrestling as a community wrestling's a part of
the community and he made his guys do tons of
like stuff like that raise money for youth shit free shows to raise money for a you know a league
or a thing or a hospital that kept the papers from saying nasty shit about him that's how they used
to do it because that way they wouldn't say oh these fucking phony bastards because then people
go well they just raise money for a children's hospital or if that fucking phony what are you doing asshole so that's what what it was uh one point eddie graham the
florida promoter actually had a thing where he a paper wrote a bad article about him about the
wrestling that it was phony and whatever so he wrote an editorial in the paper saying that they
wrestling won't be coming back to that town because he doesn't want
to put a stain on the good name of wrestling by going somewhere where they're going to just talk
shit about it because they don't know anything about it so you know he's going to take his it's
fucking hilarious the way he worded it too he made it like what a jerk that guy was for telling the
truth it's uh pretty goddamn hilarious so um yeah they talk about you know that he went to uh
he went to missouri and played football so the kids are looking up to him because not only is
he a wrestler but he was a football player at a school they know of he uh he fought with uh nature
boy buddy landell for a while here had a feud with him who's an interesting character he's one of these guys who uh is a
complete fuck up who you know just known as like he was a really good worker that kept getting jobs
and then he would always fuck it up because he's a disaster of a person drugs and fucking car
accidents and uh you know all that kind of shit so uh yeah it's he's a he's fun dude he's a fun one buddy landell some of the stories people
have about buddy landell are hilarious and like shoot interviews he's an actual party he's an
actual party he's just a mess of a guy he went by nature boy too he was another nature boy
he was just this blonde dude it was just a goddamn disaster. So he actually wrestles Jeff Doz in the UWF Superdome Extravaganza,
one of their big Superdome shows at the Superdome there on November 26, 1986.
He fights against Sting.
He has a little feud against Sting with Rick Steiner as well,
who we know here loses to Rick rick steiner and at the
end of their feud they're uh also in in uh this time period february 1987 he's also arrested a
couple of times so that's good that's good to start out with he uh he gets arrested for theft twice here in 1987.
I believe it's checks from what I could find.
I don't know if he's writing
theft by check, I believe he's doing, so I think
he's kiting back checks at this point.
He ends up
doing a plea, a non-adjudication
of guilt, agreed plea
type of deal. All he's got is
swinging his dick at this point he's not a
real he's not like a criminal mastermind or anything he hasn't done anything like that so
he's got that going on that is february 21st 1987 and then march 11th 1987 more charges for theft by
check so this is what he was doing for a while. Apparently he was, uh, you know, just kiting checks going around in 87.
Didn't have any fucking money.
So there's that.
He,
uh,
also has,
you know,
more,
more wrestling.
And,
in 89,
he makes a brief appearance on WWF television.
Holy shit.
Oh,
do it on wrestling challenge teaming with Tim Horner.
Who's another staple of the South.
Tim Horner is like one of those guys who was always in the South for years and years,
against the Fabulous Rougeaux on April 16th.
And, of course, they're just jobbing to the Fabulous Rougeaux.
And then he goes to Texas to be a part of the reconstructed, half-assed, world-class championship wrestling,
which was a mess at this point.
This was after it was bought out, believe if i'm not mistaken i think i don't think fritz von eric was running
it anymore uh it was a mess uh but it's still he stays there he this is where he kind of really
establishes himself with a lot of the guys he has a big feud with jeff jar, who has been around forever. Also has a...
Teams up with a guy named Stunning, Steve
Austin, as well.
Stone Cold, that is.
Not Stone Cold. Yeah, he just went by
Stunning because he had long blonde hair.
Teams up with Steve
Austin, so him and Stone Cold here
to do, and a couple other guys,
Skandar Akbar, Gary Young,
to do an eight-man Texas Tornado match
with Bill Dundee, Jeff Jarrett, Eric Embry,
and Percy Pringle.
Percy Pringle is Paul Bearer.
Percy Pringle is fucking the Undertaker's manager.
That's who that is.
He was a manager in Texas.
And this is like a knockoff Royal Rumble?
It's an eight-man Texas Tornado,
which, yeah, I think that means you don't have to tag in. You can have all sorts of shit going on so it sounds like it's like a battle royal with
pinfalls i believe i don't know what their exact rules were on that by 91 and 90 in texas who the
fuck knows what was happening so uh you also uh had a feud with brian lee who would become a star
later on also don harris who was uh one of the harris ron Don Harris, who was one of the Harris, Ron and Don Harris was one of the, they were
in a tag team, identical giant guys.
Twin monsters, these fucking guys.
They're both six foot six, 275 pounds, identical long, crazy hair.
It just looks like two giant Vikings and they're twins.
It's the scariest fucking thing you've ever seen.
Those guys actually. Now their mom doesn the scariest fucking thing you've ever seen. Uh,
those guys actually,
their mom doesn't feel a thing.
No,
nothing.
They came out and I, I,
I feel like she probably just died on at birth.
They came out and just like,
she turned gray and withered in 10 minutes,
you know,
like just all of her body.
It's just,
it's over,
man.
All of her life force was just puked out with those two men.
Fuck, man.
So he also lost in a tournament for the heavyweight championship in USWA.
He lost to Dirty Dick Slater, who has an episode also.
If you want to go back and listen to that, because that was a fun episode.
He then goes to Global Wrestling.
I don't know if you remember this,
but Global was on ESPN in the early 90s.
It was like a really terrible-looking wrestling
that was on ESPN in like 91, 92 it was.
It was on.
And it had a lot of guys who became stars.
One, two, three kid, Sean Waltman, Raven,
all those guys were in it.
So Eddie Gilbert is there.
Eddie Gilbert is like a second-generation guy.
His whole family's in the business.
And apparently, by the way, he fights Matt Bourne,
who was Doink the Clown when he was in Global,
shit like that.
But he gets in a thing with Eddie Gilbert, apparently.
He comes out.
Apparently he showed up.
Gaylord showed up here to a taping because he was supposed he had worked a little bit there and was trying to get back in and get booked more. And Eddie Gilbert was doing the booking. So he said he came up at the showed up at the taping and said, asked, could we have a word? And Eddie said, hang on till the end of the show and then we can talk. If you hang out for the night, I can talk to you at the end of the night, but I got to run the show. So we can talk if you hang out for the night i can talk to you at the end of the night but i gotta run the show so we can't talk right now so gaylord hung around there and then uh
tom pritchard and uh eddie gilbert's brother were there eddie gilbert was there eddie
gilbert's brother doug they're all in the back and out of nowhere fucking in the next room where
eddie gilbert is jeff gaylord came up and just fucking blasted Eddie Gilbert, just started beating the shit out of him, right?
Blast him.
So they hear this commotion,
and Doug Gilbert was drinking a glass bottle of Coke at the time,
so he just ran in there and fucking clocked Jeff Gaylord in the head
with a glass bottle of Coke, which are very thick.
That's a thick bottle.
That glass does not fuck around.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
So they're saying, go fuck, go help him.
And everybody's saying, fuck, get this monster off of him, basically.
So he said that they see a trail outside and Gaylord was already taken off in his car.
Apparently, he took off.
He beat him up.
They threw the Coke bottle at him and split gaylord's whole face open so um you know
they were they were they wanted to fight about it so anyway a week later they they're they're
trying to figure out what happened turns out eddie gilbert finds out because he talks to
jeff gaylord later some promoter in pennsylvania was pissed off at eddie gilbert for missing a show
and fucking up his card so basically he put1,000 bounty on him to kick his ass.
That's what it was.
And Gaylord wanted the grand.
So Jeff Gaylord showed up to beat off,
not to beat off Eddie, that would have been a different outing.
Would have cost less than $1,000 probably.
Shows up to kick the shit out of Eddie Gilbert
to collect this bounty.
And afterwards, Eddie reached out to him and said, what the fuck were you doing?
Why did you beat me up?
What's your goddamn problem?
And Jeff Gaylord told him the story.
And Eddie said, hey, stupid.
You should have fucking told me about it.
We could have made it look good and split the fucking money, you dummy.
Why would you do that?
Now, you punched me.
I'm hurt.
And you're split open
from a coke bottle we're wrestlers we kind of do this for a living he said i would have fucking
bladed and everything i would have looked like i got my ass kicked i don't care 500 free fucking
dollars i don't give a shit what the hell is wrong with you you stupid asshole and gaylord was like
oh yeah instead i took a coke bottle for a grand. Yeah. Oh, what an idiot.
And I don't even know if he got the fucking grand, man.
So he ends up wrestling in USWA, which was at that point, that's Memphis, where Jerry
the King Lawler reigns supreme and all that shit.
But in the 90s, USWA became kind of a minor league feeder system for wwf too so like all the guys you see
in like the mid 90s that come up they came through uswa um even vince mcmahon tried out his bad guy
character down there in like 94 even so before all the bret hart shit happened just to see how it
went so uh anyway um yeah he ends up uh he teams with a guy to fight Lawler and Dundee, which is a main event with Jerry Lawler and Bill Dundee.
Of course, he loses to Bill Dundee somehow.
Bill Dundee is like five foot five.
Okay.
He's this little tiny, tiny guy.
Five, five.
I can't know what he weighs, but not much.
He's not a big jacked guy or anything either.
Doesn't look like he's ever worked out.
He just looks like this tiny man how could you make a match where it's
realistic unless he's like a judo champion that he beat this fucking jacked up my his thighs are
bigger than my torso jimmy there's no fucking way honestly i've never seen legs like that
on a guy that doesn't just do that like pose for a living you know what i mean yeah schwarzenegger
winning mr olympia that's who had legs like that you know like fucking guys who win worldwide
bodybuilding competitions not people who actually can see every fiber of every muscle in his entire
fucking leg from hip to toe it's well i'll post that on social media. I'll post that one picture because you got to see that shit. That's a hell of a leg.
Fuck yeah.
So he ends up during all this, he ends up absent from the promotion for a few weeks.
But after 1991, though, he's established himself as a wrestler.
Pro Wrestling Illustrated, the magazine, at the end of the year, they do the 500 best singles wrestlers. That's their thing every year.
The PWI 500, they call it.
So this is like all the indie guys are like, look, oh shit, I made it to 400.
So you're in the magazine.
It's a big deal.
He ranked number 83 in all of wrestling at that point for PWI.
So 83 out of 500.
Not bad.
That's pretty goddamn good.
No, it's top 100.
It's good. It 500 not bad that's pretty goddamn good no it's top 100 it's good it's not bad um
in 92 uh he was he uh he wrestled for a few months in puerto rico uh winning the awf international
tag team titles there uh then he comes back in 92 to texas and just in time to get a nice DUI. Good job. This is August.
Top 100 wrestler with a DUI.
There you go.
Top 100 and also shit-faced.
August 3, 1992, he gets a DUI in Dallas County.
He pleads not guilty, but he's found guilty in this whole thing after a trial.
In the end, by the way, he's also charged at this time with possession of a dangerous drug as well, which is like meth usually or something like that.
Could have been steroids.
In Texas?
I think that's Advil.
Yeah, that's Advil.
Well, that shit will get you, man.
It's dangerous.
You'll sleep all morning.
Between these two things, he ends up getting fined.
He ends up getting $80,000 in court fines from this, from these fucking these two offenses.
$80,000 is a shitload of fucking money.
I don't know how you pay that back.
September 18th, 92.
He's also because he has no license now.
He's arrested for no seatbelt while he's driving and for driving period because he's not supposed to do that court fines for that jimmy no seatbelt driving right after a dui you know his court fines are
no seat dollars twenty seven thousand dollars for not putting your seatbelt on no way yep because
it was also because he wasn't supposed to be driving so it all got wrapped up into a fucking $27,000 court fine, which is wild.
That's crazy.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Anyway, back in USWA, he teams up with Mr. Hughes.
Do you remember Mr. Hughes?
No.
Big, giant black guy who wore a dress shirt and a tie and slacks and sunglasses even while he wrestled.
Remember that guy?
Ever see him?
No.
Weird guy.
They team up to beat Jerry jerry lawler and jeff jarrett so those those are pretty big legends down there to be
beating them jeff jarrett's the fucking other promoter's son he's jerry jarrett's son so you're
beating the promoter and the other promoter's son so that's that's a thing it's a big deal here uh
yeah so he ends up going on um he uh he kind of he's one of these guys he's a mid-carder like
sometimes he'll be pushing more toward the top of the card but he's never like he's not the champion
he's not the heavyweight champion but he's pushing up toward the top of the card because he's a good
big jacked up guy does that little program and kind of dip stack down in the middle of the card
he's that kind of guy he's a mid he's a mid-range good guy he's kind of like uh well he
was champ for i was gonna say he's like morocco in the mid 80s and wwf but he was uh he was
intercontinental champ for a while so i can't really say that anyway he uh he's doing all this
shit he's uh he's in uswa he's having that he lost to tom pritchard there finally he feuds with the rock and roll phantom what the fuck is that
the rock and roll phantom jimmy that's not good i don't know what that is it's not good he'll
be a kiss character it's not a good yeah i guess that makes sense not a great thing there uh and
then he also beat johnny polo who was raven uh later on and everything there. So not bad. March 14th, 1993, though, he is arrested for another DWI.
Good for him.
In Texas again?
In Texas.
Collin County, Texas, this time.
Driving while intoxicated.
Also possession of narcotic paraphernalia as well on this day.
This will earn him, let's see, $27,000 in fines as well.
Okay.
So the drugs are a big deal for him.
Yeah, drugs, booze.
$19,700 for driving while intoxicated, $7,300 for possession of paraphernalia.
So he's got some fucking problems here.
Back to there, he's wrestling, fighting PG-13, those guys who are Wolfie D and Jamie Dundee.
Jamie Dundee is a guy we need an episode about.
He is fucking crazy.
Crazy.
He's been arrested a hundred times.
I mean, he's like the Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia, basically.
He's those guys.
Everybody where he lives knows him.
He's a mess.
So anyway, he does all that shit.
Jamie Dundee?
Jamie Dundee.
He's Bill Dundee's brother.
Or son, I'm sorry.
Not brother.
He's his son.
And he's a fuck-up of the highest order.
I mean, there's an interview.
Raised in wrestling.
That's why.
Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
You can't get any more fucked up. And then he got into it young, too. there's an interview raised in wrestling that's why oh yeah yeah absolutely and there's a you
can't get any more fucked up and then he got into it young too there are shoot interviews with him
where he is so fucked up it's not even it's a mess man there's this one sean oliver talks about
it in his book this one that's fucking hilarious where he talks about it at the end the guy said
you know jamie goes well when we're done with this interview,
can you send me a copy of it?
Like when you put it out, can I have a copy?
He goes, yeah, sure, of course.
He goes, where would you like me to send it?
And he gets a pen and a piece of paper
ready to write down the address to send it to,
you know, like a human being would do.
Sean Oliver sitting there.
And the guy goes, send it to mama.
And he goes, okay.
Well, what's mama's address? He goes, send it to mama and he goes okay um well what's what's mama's address he goes send it to mama's just put mama's house let's get all my mail at mama's house everybody knows any mail to me goes to mama's house
and he goes but i don't know where mama's house i need a i need a estate a zip code there's got
to be something i can't just say mama's house and put it in a fucking james james mom it was put james mama that's what it was not mama's house james mama crisscross i can't
get it yeah i can't just put james mama on an envelope and fucking drop it in a mailbox and
it's gonna get there i can't do that you need some sort of physical address he said he never
got it out of him he couldn't get he just Jamie's mama. That's all he would say. Everybody knows. You send me anything, it goes to Jamie's mama.
Okay.
So, crazy motherfucker, we'll just say.
Well, I clearly don't know, Jamie.
He's so wasted.
It's not.
He can't even comprehend that there's addresses that they exist in the world.
And you need one to mail something.
To mail.
It's not like I'm driving it to your house and he goes down the street on the left he's mailing it you need a specific place that's like what's your phone number just say
jamie's phone people know you just call jamie's phone and then it'll look just just say to say
to siri call jamie's mama and he'll call it he'll call her on november 24th he has his biggest night of his career here yeah
he makes well not really because he's under a mask but it's his biggest show he makes a pay-per-view
appearance in the 1993 survivor series for wwf he is fighting the entire the heart family here
it's owen and uh and brett and their two brothers, too, that are Canadian wrestlers.
Those guys are fighting.
It was supposed to be Jerry Lawler here in this spot.
Jerry Lawler and his guys, like three guys.
But Jerry Lawler was in trouble for getting a little too close to a teenage girl at this point.
So WWF had shit-canned him at this point and didn't use him for a while till he cleared all that up.
So instead, it's Shawn Michaels fighting the Hart family.
And with Shawn Michaels are three nights.
The red night, the black night and the blue night.
There you go.
That's it.
And Jeff fucking medieval times.
It's just because they had nobody to put there.
So they got jobbers and put masks on them.
That's it.
So then they look like big jacked up guys. He hired these guys as you know assassins to take out the
hart family so he plays the black knight and he's pinned by owen hart there you go that was he's the
first man eliminated old jeff gaylord so um yeah he does that uh um wow and uh it was him the other
knights were barry horowitz who's a career jobber.
And I don't know why he was doing this.
And Greg the Hammer Valentine was another one.
I mean, Greg the Hammer's a fucking legend.
But I guess he needed a couple bucks.
Pay-per-views pay.
So it's at this point he doesn't know what he's going to do.
He's got to go back to USWA because that's why they used him,
because they're using USWA talent in WWF. He doesn't know going to do. He's got to go back to USWA because that's why they used him because they're using USWA talent
in WWF. He doesn't know
what to do.
He's having a lot of problems.
But he's still wrestling. He loses to
Doug Gilbert, who's the guy who hit him with a Coke bottle
when he punched his brother, by the way.
Loses to Skull Von
Crush, which is the worst name in the history of
wrestling. I've always thought that.
Jesus Christ, man.
Loses to Coco Beware,
who's about half his height, which
is great. Teams up with Ricky
Morton and a couple other guys for a team
for a while here.
Otherwise, though, he's just
you know, he's WCW
Saturday night. Remember that show that was
like the crappy WCW show
that was on Saturday nights at 605 Eastern. He's on a taping there where he beats Rip Rogers and that doesn't do anything for him here. He's just not doing too much basically here.
done wrestling by now once 2000 comes along he pretty much wrestles until about 97 98 ish um he has a run for two seconds in wcw at the end there he's hanging out with uh
sid vicious it's a there's a thing going on there with him but it's very very brief
he's out of wrestling by by the turn of the century though though, by 2000. And just in time, in August of 2000,
to be arrested for misdemeanor possession of drugs as well here.
Has to pay, pleads guilty,
has to pay $11,000 in court costs on that bad boy.
Oh, no.
Holy shit.
Then, finally, in October of 2001,
Jeff goes into a bank in
Aurora, Colorado.
And goes up to
the teller and demands some money from
her. He's fucking robbing a bank.
He said he had
a gun. He acted like he had a gun.
So the teller gave him $5,000
from the drawer and he took it and
took off. So he robbed a bank for $5,000
and got away with it
got away with it okay five grand set so four months later he enters the same bank and does
the exact same thing again the same fucking bank would they ever expect that james it's kind of
genius expect it well they were expecting it and they were ready for it this time
because they were like hey this is the procedure if we get robbed now and one of the procedures
was for one of the bank employees as soon as the guy leaves to run to the window and try to get his
license plate number which they did which they got his license plate number on his car as he drove
away not wonderful um dumb as shit pretty good so on routine patrol officer frank rodman's received
a radio call advising of a robbery describing the suspect the getaway car the license plate
giant man in a car with this license plate you can't fucking miss it so this officer saw the
vehicle we he's been at this bank so much, we all call him the Thighs.
Yeah, he's the Thighs.
The Thighs is back.
I think he's got a gun.
I don't know.
So this Officer Rodman sees the car,
follows the car into a lot
on a small hill behind an auto garage
and blocks in the car.
That's his plan.
So Gaylord gets out of the car
with his hands in the air and starts walking over to the car. That's his plan. So Gaylord gets out of the car with his hands in the air and starts
walking over to the officer. The officer instructed him to kneel down on the ground instead. He said,
get down on the ground. So instead of getting on his knees, Gaylord said, I'm going to get back
in my car and flee. So instead of getting on his knees, he turned around, got back in the car and
took off. That was it. He takes off takes off right so officer rodman jumped in his
car uh officer rodman jumped oh my god jumped on his car on the back of his car oh my god like
mel gibson a lethal weapon and ended up breaking his foot in the process because you're not supposed
to do that i don't think that's procedure imagine that in the academy now the suspect runs, what you need to do here is leap on his trunk.
I know it sounds crazy, but you're really just, if you hold on to the sides, I think you can get a decent grip.
Try to swing back and forth with your legs to go with it.
Go with the momentum.
Don't try to fight it.
There is an e-brake if you reach under the trunk and pull.
There's a lever under there.
You just got to get to it.
You can stop.
It's little known.
That's the thing.
It's called the police brake back there.
The e-brake runs all the way back to the back brakes through the trunk.
So you just got to reach your arm around.
Oh, my God.
That's so funny.
So then in order to get out, he was making like a three-point turn.
He fucking backed into the cop's car after that.
Bashed into that, then sped forward over a curb, obviously, and down toward the garage.
This guy, Officer Rodman, jumped back in his car with his broken foot and followed Gaylord onto I-25.
Once they get on the highway, they said that he, Gaylord drove about
55 miles an hour.
You know,
he wasn't speeding,
but he was weaving
in and out of traffic.
That's what he was doing,
but he's not like
going 120
because there's traffic too.
I guess apparently
he took an exit
like without slowing down
so the guy wouldn't know
he was taking the exit,
thought he would miss it.
So Gaylord just
off the exit
on the on-ramp
and so he ends up hitting some loose gravel causing his car and the exit thought he would miss it. So Gaylord just off the exit on the on-ramp.
And so he ends up hitting some loose gravel,
causing his car to spin out toward the end of the ramp and hit a traffic island and roll over several times.
Oh, no.
Gaylord's car.
Oh, yeah.
Bang.
It hit the curb and then rolled several times.
It's going 60 miles an hour, spinning, hitting the curb.
That doesn't seem fast enough to roll a car it did it rolled a goddamn car shit my mother when i was a kid we rolled a honda crx going about 25 miles an hour on a wet leaves just i guess you
lose your grip so low i'm stunned wow it flipped a lot too it was flat like a pancake it was wild
it was like eight years old so um at this point
finally the car the cop car kind of drove in a little slower behind him now like well not such
a big rush now um pulled gaylord out of the car and cuffed his ass and took him to took him to
jail uh they said that he's also suspected of another bank robbery as well at that point
um now we'll talk about what they charge him with because they're
charging him with bank robbery they're also charging him in in a reckless endangerment
so they're trying to get a reckless endangerment enhancement on that to make his jail time because
of the bank robbery yeah it's yeah so he doesn't know what the fuck to do at this point i mean he
is like he doesn't know what to do, but he's in jail, obviously.
He can't kite a check for your bail.
That's one thing.
You gotta have the money for that.
They check the funds.
They check the funds.
They don't just let you kite bail checks there.
You wonder why he got arrested for kiting all those checks, by the way.
He learned it from Clinton Mangus.
He's like, I know how to do this.
This is easy.
Shit, I can go everywhere.
They don't even have to be good.
They just write it and leave.
Yeah.
I mean, so he's got, he was talking to his lawyer a lot about the reckless endangerment
because he doesn't think that should be on there.
So he's talking to his lawyer a lot.
A lot of people come in and out.
Finally, there's a knock at the door one day.
Knock at the door and he opens it and it's the Mexican pimp standing there, guns blazing.
And he says.
How is it you've come to arrive here?
Why are you here?
Why?
Why?
I know why.
For once, I tell you.
I tell you why.
Because you are lazy.
You are lazy.
If you went out, you talk to the women, you convince them or not.
But either way, they're going to do what you want.
And you take them and you make them make.
That's how you make money.
Why you do this?
You go into bank like they're not going to catch you.
Even if you want to, if you want to rob bank, here's what you do.
Send a woman in there.
Make her do it.
And then give you the money.
See?
Bank pimping.
Bank pimping is new.
It's a new thing just for you.
Bank robbery?
Just for you.
Bank pimp.
Jeff Gaylord.
That is my advice to you.
Poof.
And he's gone.
In a cloud of tequila and six shooters.
He's out of there.
And bad advice.
He's out of there.
So, yeah, he's very confused now.
He doesn't know what the hell happened.
So he says, though, that the court should not charge him with reckless endangerment because he says that he was driving at or below the speed limit when he was rushing away.
Okay.
Caused no injuries.
The guy jumping on his car, he didn't back in.
The guy jumped on his car, so you can't really blame him for that.
That's his fault.
Yeah.
So, I mean, he was running, so you kind of can.
He said that he didn't even receive any traffic citations for that.
So, I mean, how can it be reckless endangerment when I didn't even get a fucking ticket what's up with that it's like because they were more worried about the bank
robbery that you just committed and the officer that was hanging off of your car five seconds ago
probably then uh thank god he let go yeah yeah right then worrying about not signaling when you
change lanes yeah really he would have been on the freeway going 55 so uh they cite cases where
the application of enhancement uh the enhancement application for like something like this charge
involved far more reckless contact during flight like uh speeding a wrong way down a runway street
or driving very significantly over the speed limit while weaving from lane to lane i was going the
speed limit and waving for fuck's sake here.
So they said there's one that guy was going 75 miles an hour and crashed into cars at
the top of a blind hill.
So that was a that was a thing here.
So he's a he's citing all this stuff.
He says Gaylord's Gaylord's lawyers said that his conduct, by contrast, represented
neither a gross deviation from the standard of care nor a substantial increase in the risk of harm to others.
It's fine.
What are you talking about?
That lawyer is so understanding.
I mean, what are we doing here?
The court says here, however, the facts, though, entirely established reckless endangerment. An officer Rodman ordered him to his knees.
Gaylord jumped back into his car,
backed into the officer's car, and
proceeded to drive through the parking lot and on to
Interstate 25. Officer Rodman
followed Gaylord, who was driving at approximately
55 miles an hour and weaving in
and out of traffic. He abruptly entered.
They tell the whole thing, basically. He flipped his
car over.
And also, there's another thing.
It's uncontested.
He doesn't even contest this, that he told investigators.
They said, why the fuck did you run?
What's wrong with you?
And he goes, well, it's probably because I'm a little drunk.
It's probably just because I've had a few.
You know how that goes, right?
It's the old punchline.
You know, probably because i've had a few apparently you know that old joke where the cop the cop pulls like the old couple over and the
guy's being mean to the wife and the cop pulls the wife out of the car and goes does he always
talk to you like this and she goes only when he's drunk yeah yeah oh no no only when he's drunk it's fine joke same fucking joke same thing
except very very much sadder so
i only drive like an asshole and i'm drunk officer it's not a big deal yeah well they're also saying
with the with the reckless endangerment too there were other vehicles at the bottom of the ramp he
just happened to miss them when he fucking thank fuck for that he was he was spinning out of
control he had no control over missing them he just happened to miss them when he fucking thank fuck for that he was he was spinning out of control he had no control over missing them he just happened to miss them luckily
so they were like that's reckless that's as reckless as it gets so um apparently in order
to rob a bank you need to get you need to get your nerves up apparently you need to get a little loose
and about five shots of vodka does that for him is is what he says. Is that what it is? He did about five shots of vodka before he went and robbed the bank.
So he was still a little tipsy.
Obviously, he's not going to be the best driver at this point.
How do you expect me to drive well when I'm shit-faced?
Jesus fucking people, what do they want from me?
I'm hammered.
Obviously, I'm going to fucking drive bad.
What the fuck?
Haven't you ever robbed a bank, officer?
You need booze.
You need some booze, man. Get your nerves up Haven't you ever robbed a bank officer? You need booze. You need some booze,
man. Get your nerves up, brother. Come on.
So it ends up that he ends up pleading
guilty now.
So he gets out of it. He pleads guilty
to two counts of committing bank robbery.
That's the deal. And
they hit him up, though, with the
level two enhancement of this whole
thing. So there's that. So he's got an enhancer on that. Sentencing comes around. up, though, with the level two enhancement of this whole thing. So there's that.
So he's got an enhancer on that.
Sentencing comes around.
You, sir, may fuck off.
Six and a half years in prison, he's sentenced to.
Okay.
That's pretty good.
It's not bad.
I mean, he has no prison record before.
But you rob a bank and then run away with a cop hanging off your
trunk you can expect to go to prison for a couple of years rob two banks not even just one that's a
lot right so uh he ends up doing some time he gets out of prison okay it's out of prison he's out for
a little while he doesn't do the full you know six and a half years it's the first offense uh
august 26 2008 though while he's on probation he ends up violating his probation and going back to prison.
I found the probation report, and he is adjudicated guilty of, quote, violation of the law and failure to participate in substance abuse testing as directed by the probation officer so his fucking his probation was supposed to end
the next year and instead he fucked it all up and um he uh they give him you sir may keep fucking
off uh 18 months in jail uh 18 months extra now in jail so he's got to finish out his sentence
that he missed and then another 18 months tacked on to that holy shit so he ends up doing about
um another six years after this he's got to do this remaining time and then that too so it's it's
a lot um upon his or about five years i'm sorry upon his release from prison here's his terms of
his probation he uh he shall be on supervised release for three years after that. He's got a report to his probation officer when he's released.
72 hours from his release, he's got to go there.
He can't commit any crimes, can't have any controlled substances, obviously.
He has to submit to one drug test within 15 days of release and two periodic drug tests afterwards.
He can't possess a firearm.
He's got to cooperate in a collection of his DNA.
He's got to pay fines and all this shit because he still hasn't paid the bank back for the
five grand he stole.
He still has restitution he has to pay in the amount of, Jesus, I'll find it here in
a second, but it's $5,000 something dollars here.
He's got to report to his probation officer.
How does he not be able to pay them back?
It was right then, right? That was the second time though yeah you gotta you gotta rob
chase to pay fucking uh you know third fifth or whatever the fuck it is yeah so uh you gotta do
that man that's the way it works so he's got to uh he's not allowed to frequent places where
controlled substances are illegally sold used used, distributed, or administered.
That's already a law.
I don't think you have to make that a special extra law.
You just say you can't break the law.
Otherwise, you have to list every law that exists on the earth and say you can't do that specifically.
He can't associate with any persons engaged in criminal activity or convicted of a felony.
So now he can't.
He's not going to be able to do wrestling if he can't be around convicted felons you're out there sorry there's a bunch of those around um yeah all that
type of shit so he uh he can't he can't use alcohol or any other intoxicants over the course
of his treatment he's got to the treatment is all up to the discretion of his probation officer he's got to pay restitution
in the amount of five thousand sixty one dollars and two cents did he take two pennies from the
drawer how does that work is that 61 two cents of interest or some shit like it's gotta be right
dollar 82 a year or some weird shit like that it's a late fee it's oh yeah it's like a late fee like he didn't he didn't rewind his videos in 1993 so he's uh yeah this is the u.s corporate bank uh 2555 south colorado boulevard
in denver colorado he's got to do here um so uh interest on the restitution obligation will be
waived upon the court's finding that he does not have the ability to pay interest so they're going to waive his interest fees so i don't know what that is the
restitution balance is to be made payable in monthly payments of at least 100 during the
term of supervision so he's got to pay them 100 bucks a month once he gets out so long yeah yeah
it's going to take for to pay back five thousand dollars here
you know you do the math it's pretty easy here um and he shall receive credit for all payments
previously made toward any monetary obligations imposed and there's that so i mean he's got a lot
to do and no way to really do it so i mean he he brought it upon himself but i still you gotta
you gotta kind of feel bad for
how far his life has fallen from grace it's not it's not great here james he's gonna be in the
system for the rest of his life now there's no way to get yourself out of this right that's federal
too because it's all federal shit because it's bank robbery so he's in a lot of trouble i mean
i feel bad for him i really do but not nearly as bad as bad as I feel for Jeff Gaylord, a lacrosse player who graduated Ridgefield High School in Connecticut in 2008.
Here, Jeff.
Jeff Gaylord, a partner in the New York Law Office of Louis Brebois and co-chair of the Directors and Officers Coverage Practice.
Over 20 years experience with insurance companies.
Corporate's a corporate fucking lawyer.
This guy, Jeff Gaylord, Heritage High School in Lynchburg, Virginia, football player who graduated in 2014.
He played nose tackle.
So I figured, you know, you can get mixed up there with him.
He's a big kid.
You know, Jeff Gaylord.
Jesus Christ.
Poor guy. there with him he's a big kid you know uh jeff gaylord jesus christ poor guy uh mr jeff gaylord
assistant principal at magruder elementary school home of the panther cubs in williamsburg virginia
uh there jeff gaylord these are always the ones i feel the worst for real estate agent
fuck any of the guys were like your name is all you have it's like god damn it
like because people aren't going to think you're that jeff gaylord but if your name is david
berkowitz they just go with the next person they don't care so it's like let's just go with the
guy who's not david berkowitz right yeah okay probably not him but on the off chance i know
it's not but you know it's just a did he get out i don't know have you
checked i haven't checked is he selling real estate in maryland because that's a tabitha
mooney selling selling houses or some shit like that something i've never heard of jeff gaylord
cummings and company realtors llc in uh bel-air maryland so buy a house from that guy if you're
in bel-air maryland he's probably lost a couple finally ann marie usury and jeff gaylord a couple who were just married on january
30th 2021 in mackenzie texas and they have they have their their uh their uh their registry up
here from macy's and you can tell they didn't get everything because of his name it's dead they thought he was a bank robber they're still looking for their Arthur Court
modern caramel pattern handlebar ice scooper for $40 a mid-century modern ice scooper ice scooper
and Arthur's Court designs aluminum fleur-de-lis rectangle tray. It's like a big silver serving tray. $213.99.
Nobody's bought them that.
Seville Classics
woven storage
cube baskets. A set of two.
Little cube things that you put shit in.
Those are $35. Nobody bought those.
Anolon Advanced Bakeware
10x16 cooling grid.
You put cookies on and shit.
$14.99. It99 they need it says they
need two of two nobody's bought them one uh what is this a hand brushed embellished canvas some
picture of it looks like wheat or some shit 87 87.99 they want that shit martha stewart collection
set of two trivets trevays i don't even know what that is. Trivets. It's like a serving thing. You put something hot on it, it looks like.
I don't know what the fuck it is.
$5.99.
I don't know.
Honey can do 14-inch round non-cracking pizza stone.
Those are good, those pizza stones.
Good for heating shit up.
$25.99.
Richard's Homewares China Storage Felt Plate Separators.
Felt Plate Separators.
$12.99.
They need two of those.
Oh, those are brilliant.
Who doesn't?
It's a pretty good idea for fine china.
I want those.
That's nice stuff there.
So you can stack your porcelain in the fucking, in the shelf?
That's brilliant.
Charter Club, I don't have china though.
Charter Club Damask 100%.
You have glass fucking plates though, don't you?
Yeah, I have some.
Yeah, I have plates like an adult.
Of course.
550 thread count sheets, 200 bucks.
They're going mid-range.
It's good.
Yeah.
Casa Fina cook and host large cream-footed cake plate.
Cake that stands at the cake stand, 89 bucks.
It's out of stock, though, so you're going to have to keep checking back for that one.
I love that you focused on this person's register i don't know why i was looking at this at four o'clock in the
morning and i'm like why not uh it's like the sales are better uh a foot and cake serving
plate what the jesus christ every we have of course you didn't get that umbra udry drying
rack and mat looks Looks like for dishes.
Like you stand the dishes up. 24 bucks.
Martha Stewart Collection 2-in-1
sink and cookware scraper.
196. They need a scraper.
It's a cheap present. Nobody
even got them that? No, they even want
the 16-inch
non-cracking pizza stone. So they might want
a small pie and a large. They don't know what they're doing here.
They want that.
They want holiday glass storage bowls.
Somebody bought them that.
The next five items are things that they actually got.
This is exciting.
I'm so excited to see what they got.
Lennox hosting the holidays glass storage bowls.
They're glass bowls with, like, mistletoe on them.
Okay?
Yeah.
Corning Ware French white three quart rectangular baker it's a
you can bake a casserole in it it's got handles though 27.99 pyrex 12 piece storage set 27.99
a uh a measuring cup set of four here uh 21.99 and finally a honey can do magazine basket somebody bought them a magazine basket
one of those wicker ones they put in the bathrooms you know yeah 1999 that's been purchased so
so if you want to get them a gift get them an ice cream scoop jesus christ feel free to look
through their registry and you know team up and get them something i don't know we what do you what do you say we should send them something if you'd like we should let's send them
let's just send them the ice scooper you wanna i just i really it's such a weird thing to want i
just want to give it to them it'd be hilarious just to can you imagine their face crime and
sports podcast what the fuck is this who gave us this why do we we have... We're buying. I have the page still up.
We're buying them that scooper.
We're doing it.
Let's send them something.
It'd be hilarious if all of our listeners filled out their registry and we got them everything.
Saw you wanted this six months ago and you didn't get it.
I mean, you know.
Sorry your name's Jeff Gaylord.
Here's some stuff we gave you.
And it gets worse. Being Jeff Gaylord. Here's some stuff we gave you. And it gets worse.
Being Jeff Gaylord's never easy.
Because in January of 2009, December 23rd of 2009, to be exact.
I'm sorry.
This is when it came out.
January, December 23rd, 2008.
A disguised man walks into a bank, passes a note to a teller demanding money and claiming he had a gun he's wearing a
hoodie sunglasses fake beard and a fake padded belly wearing a big fat belly one of those you
know because with this body you know with a body like mine padded belly with those thighs with
those thighs he was uh so he ended up robbing the bank that time and got away with it. Then he was spotted entering the Castle Rock branch again on New Year's Eve, December 31st.
But he left the area when he was approached by an employee.
He wasn't wearing the padding on the second visit, they said.
So he got away with that, got away.
So he's robbed a bank once, went to rob it twice, didn't get it.
So he's robbed a bank once, went to rob it twice, didn't get it.
Then he went to Monument, where he robbed the King Soopers U.S. Bank branch on West Baptist Road.
In that robbery, he's wearing a fake beard, a bandage over his nose, dark sunglasses, and a hoodie pulled over his head.
And he also passed the note saying that he had a weapon.
He demanded money.
But they ended up knowing him, knowing who he was.
A witness outside ended up getting, guess what again, Jimmy?
His license plate number.
License plate, yeah.
Dude, this is why back in the day,
like when guys would steal a car, they'd rob a bank,
they'd steal a car to go rob the bank.
So then when they get your license plate number,
you dump that shit three blocks away,
get in another car, and you're gone. That's how you rob a fucking bank. So then when they get your license plate number, you dump that shit three blocks away, get in another car and you're gone.
That's that's how you rob a fucking bank.
You don't get in your car thing on fire somewhere.
Yeah.
You don't get your daily driver and go to the bank and rob shit and go pull away like a fucking lunatic.
You think he would know to park blocks away or something?
I don't know.
Right.
Robbing a bank with a Graco car seat in the backseat.
Yeah.
Like, I can do it.
It's fine.
He this led them right to his house in Lleton of course there yeah uh he's arrested for the he's arrested on january 14th it's a robbery at a u.s bank in monument and like we
said a uh a branch in castle rock he's arrested at his home january 15th following a two-hour
interrogation conducted by multiple jurisdictions including monument
police littleton police fbi rocky mountain safe street task force uh and and a detective with
the monument police um the official investigation disclosed the bank robberies obviously were uh
it's funny when they got into it they they actually thought this they were like he's a
wrestler so he's good at disguises. They actually thought that.
They put it in the paper like, this is a guy who knows how to be a different character
and a different person.
He was a wrestler.
And then they went over all of his personas.
He went as this guy.
He went as the hood.
He went as the black knight.
He went as Missouri Tiger.
So, I mean, this guy could be anybody.
He's been doing it since college college painting himself green to shake his
cock and ladies faces uh he's still 250 pounds and six foot three two he's still a big giant guy
the one police officer said quote he's built like a brick shithouse when they got to him there um
that sounds like a colorado officer yeah yeah brick shithouse this guy he told the investigators
that his bank robbery spree was driven by quote personal economic conditions i'm fucking broke
that's why it's 2009 so is everybody else yeah we're all broke yeah sorry yeah we were all
piss poor then so um so then they thought then they figured out that he's the same guy that robbed the bank on
the 23rd they did all that shit they figured it out um and uh same thing though because he had
the note and the weapon he said he had a gun said he wanted money had the fake beard and all that
shit uh once they get a search warrant to search his house they find that he's in possession of
the bait money planted by the monument teller,
which was the marked money.
So he's got that money in his house,
as well as a notepad with impressions of one of the demand notes,
the one of the monument.
He had the notepad, and he wrote it on his pad,
and then just ripped the piece off and left it there and gave it to the teller and left that pad,
so they just went right over it with the thing,
and they were like, oh, it says it's an exact copy copy of the charcoal on it yeah terrible he's really bad at this he's not a
good fucking bank robber but he's great at disguises terrific at it obviously fake beard
padding that's top of the line right so november pillow in his shirt. November 2009, Monument Detective Steve Blazkowski was recognized for his work in a multi-jurisdictional effort to apprehend him earlier.
He fucking drove away and somebody got his license plate number and he went to his house.
Does that need an award ceremony?
He drove his own car and you get a commendation for that?
Give me a fucking break, man.
I mean, good for you and everything, but still, I mean.
Yeah.
Next time I go to McDonald's and order a Big Mac when they put it in front of me, balloons are going to fall.
Oh, my God, he did it.
He got him a Big Mac and fries.
Holy shit, you've done your job.
Not saying it's whatever, but I mean, you know, he kind of did a lot of it for you is what I'm getting at. The officer put a license plate number into the Rolodex and it showed the address.
Yeah, he called it in and then was like, oh, I'll go there then.
That's where he'll be.
So, uh.
Give him an award!
He says, this is one of the cops here.
He says, quote, he was still working out regularly about
about our guy jeff and when we eventually arrested him up in littleton when another
officer with the state safe streets task force in denver went to contact him he got a pain maker
right in the jaw apparently gaylord took a swing at this uh at a uh at a an officer who tried to
get a hold of him apparently uh he cracked him a fucking good one.
Yeah, and they ended up taking him down anyway
because he's a big fucking guy.
Called it, what did he call it?
He called a what?
A pain maker, which I think he probably said haymaker
and the guy didn't, somebody didn't take it down right here.
Right.
So he is presented an award by,
no, Robert Mueller, actually,
he's presented an award by there. He says, quote, Your skills, devotion and duty to an ability to work closely with other law enforcement officers were responsible for a significant part of the of the success achieved in this priority investigation.
they actually worked together was like a big deal like he actually brought people in hey you guys didn't fucking fight each other like assholes great good that's good uh so he is sent to prison
again and this is not only a violation of his probation but extra charges and everything else
he is not released from prison until uh july 15th 2015 all right so he's released then 2000 he lays low for a couple years 2018 i found him
in jail again uh this is in colorado again he is in where is it denver county court and this time
a little more serious he is in a bank robbery even he is in it for second degree kidnapping
and second degree assault at this point in time that's what he's sitting in it for second degree kidnapping and second degree assault
at this point in time that's what he's sitting in jail for as of 2018 so that's not good at all
so i found that then i looked in the jails to see if he's a current inmate and he's not so i don't
know if he got off on that shit but as of may something there isn't there was an active warrant
for his arrest in the Denver area.
So they want him.
Yeah.
So he was.
I don't know if he's cleared that up by now.
But as of last month, he's wanted in Denver for something.
Sick.
We don't know what.
So something.
He's out there, everybody.
Hang on to your fucking ATM cards, I guess.
Can't get enough?
Well, you can.
On eBay, they have, I found a wrestling card of his.
It is the Missouri Tiger Jeff Gaylord Territory Wrestling Card.
I think they're new, these Territory Wrestling Cards.
And you can get it for $6.95 with free shipping.
It's a picture of his stupid face, and it looks like it's half melted.
Or you can do something really fun, which is watch his terrible promos on YouTube.
He's the worst fucking promo,
one of the worst of all time.
There's one specifically where he comes out,
and they're like,
so let me ask you, Jeff, how about this and that?
And he goes, ooh, I just want to get him.
And I'm like, what?
He's like, I just want to take the guy
and just want to hurt him.
And then he just walks away. And I'm like, that? He's like, I just want to take the guy and just hurt him. And then he just walks away.
And I'm like, that's the worst promo.
It's the worst promo.
I've seen the top ten bad promos that I've ever seen.
He's got the three of them of the top spots.
It's wild.
The guy's a fucking mess.
He sucks.
So there he is.
Look out for giant thighs coming at you and uh yeah you see a padded
belly and giant thighs run out of the bank we'll put it that way because he's looking to rob it
will be released holy shit so that is jeff gaylord everybody hope you enjoyed that it's a wild story
a wrestler football player is always good shit so uh if you did enjoy that tell
the world about it get on apple podcast give us five stars please it helps a lot helps drive you
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Your green cock in a room full of women there.
So head over there.
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You will not be disappointed.
We throw down on Patreon.
There's so much fun.
This week's episodes, and you get access to both shows' episodes and all the back catalog and everything like that.
This week, we are going to, for Crime and Sports, we're going to talk about the Atlanta Gold Club, which was a strip club in Atlanta that got in a lot of trouble for offering way more than just dances to people in a sexual realm.
And this ensnared so many many athletes it's not even funny because
atlanta's like a hub for athletes atlanta's like phoenix in a way where tons of athletes live
there it's just one of those things yeah and they all lots of them had to testify in court in detail
under oath uh to exactly what services were rendered to them so it should be fucking fun
to listen to and there's all sorts
of crazy shit that's that one and then small town murders we're going to talk about the crazy
documentary sons of sam with that maury terry is the name of the author that that came up with this
whole theory about the sons of sam and that sam wasn't alone david berkowitz wasn't alone when
he's committing the son of sam murders there's actually a bunch of other guys that committed some of the murders.
And it's like a big thing.
It's the most fun conspiracy theory I've ever heard.
Well, they don't even scratch the surface of it in that documentary.
The book is like, the book is his, it's all him doing that.
So there, it's nobody.
That's the, right.
That's the reward of all of his investigation.
Yeah.
It's a, it's called the ultimate evil. It's his investigation. Yeah, it's it's called The Ultimate Evil.
It's a 25 hour book and it's nobody saying like he thought this.
It's just everything he thought puked up on on 25 hours worth of audio.
There's crazy shit where he's like, you see this in the one letter he wrote.
It says he's actually giving directions to his house like this line here.
And he does a whole line by line.
We'll go over it in this episode.
But he goes this line here.
It says, get off your butts
now if you say get off your
butts get off get off
like get off a road now butts
that could be translated to cigarettes
so that could be there's a street by his house
named ash so you take that
as get off on ash and
you make a right on ash and then it takes you to his
house that's the type that's the interpretation
he was doing, dude.
Oh, my God.
That's where that whole shit came from.
It was thoughts like that from a guy who had way too much time to think about it.
So we'll go over all of that.
And was Son of Sam actually a member of a satanic cult and all of these things?
And are there all the other members get away with it and he took the fall for it all these years?
We'll talk about it, and we'll have lots of opinions on it.
Check that out. All of that and more more patreon.com slash crime and sports and uh all the back catalog and
in addition you're a producer so we're gonna love you number one and number two we're gonna give you
a lot we're gonna read your name jimmy is going to mispronounce it brutally even though he's trying
his best to pronounce it correctly he He really wants to get them right.
So, yeah, we'll do all that.
You can get everything like that.
Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports.
If you just want to be a producer, you don't care about the bonus stuff.
I don't know what you're doing, but, hey, thanks a lot.
We appreciate it anyway.
You can do that over at PayPal using our email address, Crime and Sports at gmail.com.
Oh, and I forgot to say there is now a an annual patreon
membership you can buy and you get 10 off which is cool that's cool as shit so then you get 10
off too so it's like you get six dollars off or whatever so that's something i mean if you're
going to sign up all year anyway you might as well get six dollars off it's well worth it that said
jimmy please hit me with the names of the most wonderful goddamn people on this earth who we could not do
this show without right now this week's executive producers are joanne ahern uh synonon graduate
christian peers oh synonon graduate ruben revelis uh revelis i think it's revelis uh his daughter
in is uh i believe she's getting married in Vegas I think that's the thing I have to check it
but yeah there's also
Jordan Bennett yes
Michaela Ravalis and his future
son-in-law is Freddy Gonzalez
his son-in-law no it's just one
but they're getting married in Vegas in June
so awesome
congratulations the two of you
also we have Jordan Bennett of course
and Michael Remick I think it's Remick you also we have Jordan Bennett of course and Michael Remick
I think it's Remick
we can't do it without you and having you guys around
being so supportive is
truly fucking incredible thank you
so much other producers this week
are Rick Parando and Jess Parando
they're celebrating the 14th anniversary
Maria Rasper
Carl Kirshner and his poison ivied asshole
old boy old boy wiped his ass in the woods, evidently, with the wrong plant.
Oh, my God.
That's why you always bring Charmin wherever you go.
Or there's also an app that you can identify plants.
Get that thing, Carl, and figure out your life.
Make sure you're not allergic first.
Yeah.
Good call.
James Marder, Peyton meadows liz vasquez
happy birthday liz i think we said it last week but just to be sure want to make sure thank you
so much liz uh david beers in memory of racist nan uh for your pleasure jane well thank you
we all miss i don't know how long racist nance been gone but a while david wanted to make sure
she was remembered might have just heard it. Thank you so much.
Kelly Higby, Steve Schnell.
Thank you, Steve.
I miss that guy so much.
Can't wait to get back on the road.
Carrie Brantley quit drinking and lost over 100 pounds, James.
Way to go, Carrie.
Wow, congrats.
Keep it up.
Valerie Callahan and her Callahan brake pads money.
Alexa, her camp.
Kim Hodgkiss.
Dr. Leo Marvin.
Awesome.
Dr. Marvin.
Tiffany's terrific.
Jeremy Bethune.
Amy Easton.
Jason Roberts.
Janice Hill.
Emma Keller defended her thesis.
Congratulations, Dr. Keller.
Jess Campanello.
Elizabeth Romano.
Jacob Cook is back to work after 14 months of fucking furlough.
I hate this disease.
Congrats.
Thomas Smith, Mother Jefferson's wig, Jacob Jake.
No, that's Jake Jacob.
Sorry.
Mother Jefferson's wig.
Say again?
Mother Jefferson's wig.
That has to be a Jefferson's reference.
It is, of course.
Thank you.
Yes.
Rabbi Shmulalovich.
We love him. Of course. Thank you. Yes. Rabbi Shmulalovich. Shmulalovich.
We love him.
He's recovering from a car ran over his index finger.
I don't know what this is.
How the hell you do that?
It's not a real person.
No, obviously not.
It's not a real guy.
Liz Nice Slice Smith.
Jennifer Riddell.
Doug, let's go to a live show.
What do you say?
Let's do it.
Tom Hale.
Happy Father's Day, obviously, from your favorite daughter, Madison Hale.
Happy Father's Day. Hawk Glandorf. No, Happy Father's Day, obviously, from your favorite daughter, Madison Hale. Happy Father's Day.
Hawk Glandorf.
No, happy Father's Day.
Did I say birthday?
You said Father's Day.
Okay, good.
All right.
Hawk Glandorf is headed to the Euro Cup.
I don't know if he's a player or if he just wanted to go see it.
He's just going to see it?
What's the Euro Cup?
Is that soccer?
I don't watch enough soccer to recognize names.
What's going on over there?
I don't know.
Cameron Maynard, Jordan Hoffman,
Emily Rogers, Lisa Dunton,
Brandi Gabori,
Nimesai Ayin Davenport.
I got Davenport right.
Not bad.
Corey Cope, Bradley Biederman,
Eric Dixson.
Dixson?
Did you just call him Eric Dixson?
I did.
He's going to get that now from others.
Forever. Stacey Clement, Ivan Gamboa. Did you just call him Eric Dixkin? I did. He's going to get that now from others.
Forever.
Stacey Clement, Ivan Gamboa, Mark Grossman, Courtney Reese, Ian Furman, I think.
Don, oh boy, Beezkazad?
That's not right.
Ida Sider?
Sledder?
I think it's Sider.
John Helms, Kristen Miller, Lindsay Krrizkowski, Kay with no last name,
Alicia Lewis, Capodude, Sherry Shaw, Laura with no last name,
Kelly Grismore, Annick Zadrow, Katerina Mathi... What is this, Maddie? Mathi? Horn? What?
Travis Schaefer, Quinn Hickey, Shannon Flaherty, Ashlyn Fadden,
Ashley Fadden, sorry, Judith, no last name, Amy Garney, Andrew with no last name, Stephen Salbo, infamous Dolly Mopp, Tiffany Daniels, Marshall Biggs, Cassandra Maxwell, Allison Randall, Brianna Labrie, Kendra Johnson, Tyrell Cruz, Tam with no last name, Megan Scruggs, Samantha, no last name, Matthew, Matthew, Zaninovich, Trent Blair, Cole Lopez,
Emily Degnan, Ryan Lally, Lindsay Griffin, Catherine, yep, Didi, Didi, Diet, Diet, Jeff
Williamson, Joseph McClure, Shelby with no last name, Alyssa Mulligan, Danny the Girl,
no last name, Alyssa Mulligan, Danny the Girl, Irene Carpenco, Luke Crowe, MattyDuck75, not the 74, Corey Ortega, Mark Jackson, the coach, obviously, Aaron Dixon.
There's a guy on Letterkenny, they call him Dickskin, and I say it to my kids constantly,
so now I can't see Dixon without saying Dickskin.
Is it Dickskin?
It's what it is now. I say it to my kids constantly, so now I can't see Dixon without saying Dickskin. Just Dickskin? It's what it is now.
Say it to my kids constantly.
That's good.
My 10-year-old girl loves it.
She just loves it when I call her Dickskin.
Get over here, Dickskin.
It's very sweet.
I truly say it.
We cooked dinner, and I go, baby, get the carrots out of the fridge.
She goes, I don't want to.
I don't want carrots.
And I go, then what do you want?
I want asparagus.
Well, then get the asparagus, Dickskin.
And I just call her Dickskin.
That's good.
You don't offer her Dickskin.
That's good.
See, you're a good dad.
You're just calling her that.
Right to her face.
Call my 10-year-old Dickskin.
Cordell Pringle, Ashley Duvall, Josh Hover, Patrick Berquist, Wade Dreyer, Jenna Touhey, I think, Paul Connors, Oscar Villarreal, Dr. Stapleton, Erica Allen, Lauren Conway, Wendy Dee, Dylan Merrill, Paris Clay, Jesse, oh, no way, Seal Kals.
It's not going to happen.
Oh, no way.
Josh Ng, N-G, I don't know how to pronounce that.
It's just N-G.
Is that N-G?
Is it N-G?
N-G.
Oh, yeah, there was a serial
killer yeah yes charles uh laura tannahill jeremy john alana with no last name also drew with no
last name probably same family right same family no last names from up at bridgeport
troy johnson derrick lozano joshua birch heidi sullivan nancy bur Sullivan, Nancy Burkert, Michael Hartzell, Heather Flo, Carrie Lyons,
Amy Folsom, Kim with no last name, Shane Stone, Chris Menton, Chuck Anderson, Matt Amoros,
Patrick Raymond, Tom Humphreys, Kirsten, what, Kirsten, Jan Smark, I don't know. Kyle Pendergast.
Nicholas Devon.
Mr. Pitts.
Zach Klingberg.
What?
Jared May.
Caitlin Gordy.
Nolene Furlong.
Furlong.
No lean for long.
Get it?
No lean for long.
Yeah, gotcha.
Yeah.
Michelle Taylor.
Sarah Tola.
Valerie Zellner.
Sam Wanao.
Wanao.
Stephen Hawk. Gretchen Gill, Lisa Ridgway, Kyle Kerber, Pamela Lesser, Chase Poe, Eric Voigt, Dylan Banfield, Ashley Marie Nabel, Sandra Eldridge, Michael Kuehl, Walker Mason, Madison Grout, Ben with no last name, Ryan Roller, Michael Orr, Lauren with no last name, Gianni Frio, Seth with no last name, Daryl Houston, Abby Krutz, Jessica Dixon, Rudy Hernandez. How are there so many this week?
There's a lot of Dixons this week.
Melanie Fagan, Kevin Kostub, Jane Bradley, Vanessa with no last name, Pippa, Tessa, Pippa
and also Tessa. Oh boy, that's so many E's. Matthew Hedden, Amanda Cerboni,
Stuart, no last name,
Paul Robert, Janine Reeser,
Krista Tischler, Tiffany Solomon,
Kathleen Justick, Kelsey Bertolas,
Brooke Milto, Pat Ross, Nick Watson,
Sophia Hamilton, Ricky Gator.
If you're not in Florida, you're blowing it.
Rebecca Richmond, Kenneth Bryan,
Portia Ostler, Jared Watts, Jared Watts, Mitchell Fisher.
Oh, and Mitchell has two different Patreon accounts.
Thank you, Mitchell.
You're amazing.
Thank you so much.
Ashley Turnbow, Chris Bailey, Matt and Nellie Zills, Ben Peterson, Cindy Sherrod, Derek peterson cindy charade uh derek fleener sally paulson uh philip mcnutt uh jack flowers and
michelle holy fuck bootri mo wits bootri mo wits wow i apologize but i do thank you every last one
of you and all of our patrons you guys are fucking amazing thank you so much thank you everybody
honestly thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We really do appreciate it. You guys support the show.
You Patreon and your PayPal people,
you keep the show, you keep
it going, you keep it on the tracks, and we just
hope that you're enjoying the content because
we put it out because we want you to like
it a lot. So we really hope you're doing it.
It's really wild. You give us a
nickel and we're like, holy shit, we've got to really
work. We've got to dance for that nickel. You know what I
mean? We will dance for our dinner type of people.
So we don't give a shit.
So we'll do that.
Thank you so much for supporting us.
And Jimmy, what if they wanted to thank you for any support you might give them?
How could they do it?
They've done it and they continue to do it online on all social media forums.
I appreciate everything you guys do.
Thank you so much.
Where can they find you?
They can Google us. They know how to to find us you know how to find people you google name or show and then
we'll say these are the hosts and it'll lead you to everything like that if you want to find i'll
bet you can type in james petro gallo address or jimmy wissman address and it would be disgusting
how easy it is to find where i live sure fucking hope not um i hope i wish i hadn't
said that yeah that's not good i will tell everybody though um i keep a three foot uh
razor sharp machete next to my bed and 250 pounds of dogs so to get to me and on the back side of
that blade is a saw blade it's a very sharp saw but it's terrifying it's terrifying uh as biggie
once said there's going to be a lot of slow singing and flower bringing if my simply safe alarm starts ringing.
We'll put it that way.
I'll put a plug in that shit.
Thank you, everyone, so much for joining us on another wild, crazy edition of Crime and Sports.
Can't wait for more.
And we'll keep coming back every damn time live from the crime
and sports studios we will see you next week bye
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