Crime in Sports - #276 - Microchips In My Ears - The Copiousness of Israel "Izzy" Lang
Episode Date: October 19, 2021This week, we found a gem of a story, about a guy who seemed to be on his way to a long life, as a respected NFL player & cultural icon. But it all went terribly wrong. Divorce, business ...failure, and possible brain damage sends him down a road of constant arrest. He was called "the consulate con man", as he terrorized NFL players by impersonating them, and stealing from their bank accounts. This in in addition to tirelessly trying to find his wife's murderer, and trying to out run the microchips that he believes have been implanted in his head, during a secret surgery in the New Mexico dessert! Guard RFK during his presidential run, marry Miss Philadelphia, and spend your life scamming money to put toward the investigation of a murder with Israel "Izzy" Lang!! Check us out, every Tuesday! !We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!!  Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman  Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com  Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com  Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!!  Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsports crimeinsports@gmail.com facebook.com/Crimeinsports instagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Let's do this, Jimmy.
Let's go. I am done with Mike Tyson giddy right now because that is the most that was those three weeks of work were like six months worth of shows.
That was crazy.
So this week we're going to have some fun with a guy.
His name right off the bat.
Israel Lang.
Israel.
Do you know who this is?
Israel Lang.
Have you ever heard of this guy?
Israel Alvin.
There's a lot of talk about that place.
Israel Alvin Lang.
Better known as Izzy.
He goes by.
Because, yeah, it's just a.
Later on there's more like. And i see it with football players there was
more a few black guys named israel in the nfl later on but back then he was the only one and
people were like israel's your name and he was in the nfl oh yeah this is an nfl player and uh
came played in the 60s and just had a wild life afterwards involved with so many people it's just
a really crazy crazy goddamn tale
and at the end he turns into one of the most bat shit people we've ever had in crime and like
ike i'd be a buchi level demons in the air conditioning crazy but worse football was not
dangerous at all james oh god no no their heads were well protected and you were never allowed
to forearm someone across the head that wasn't the first move you made on a person with your helmet, nor was it encouraged.
You were supposed to.
Yeah, that was what are you a pussy?
Put your fucking helmet in there.
I'm serious.
Head down.
Any kind of blocking.
And this guy's a fullback.
So there's a lot of blocking involved there.
And he came up as a tackle.
So Jesus, the thing they told you in the 50s 40s 50s 60s in football and i'm sure through
the 70s and probably through the 80s uh was and i read this in the jerry kramer book the famous
longtime green bay packer guard from the 60s was they would yell at you if you didn't you're
supposed to snap up and hit with your helmet right away you're supposed to nail the guy in
his helmet with your helmet as hard as you can on every
single play on every single block.
That's how unless it's like a pass block where you're supposed to be back off him or some
shit like that.
If it's like a run or something, you're supposed to fire off.
They call it with your head into his head.
So make table side guacamole out of your brain.
Let's do it.
Every play.
We're talking every play in the game.
Every play of practice for decades.
Boom.
Boom.
Every single fucking time.
Think about that.
That's not good for your brain.
And that's this guy had that happen.
I love my ninja blender, but that's what they were doing to their brain.
That's just frontal lobe.
Just we're fucking world.
Put it on puree and let it go to the end fuck it here we go
so you got to feel bad for anybody in that level when they come to crazy later on and he really
does holy shit i mean i guy be a buchi saying there's demons in the air conditioning that was
nuts but this guy the demons are much closer it's wow let's get into it he's born february 2nd 1942 he's from
tampa florida and uh he's from the belmont heights section of tampa florida uh apparently
tampa up until jesus christ doug williams was quarterbacking the buccaneers was a pretty
segregated place was it oh yeah tampa have we discussed this a little
bit because i read a book on the formation of the buccaneers and part of that is they develop they
discuss how they kind of had to change the reputation of the area because it's known as
very a very anti-black area and if you're going to have a football team with a lot of black guys
in it and you want them to come play there, you kind of have to, you know, change that reputation a little bit.
And they tried to,
and as more people,
Tampa became a place where other people moved from,
you know,
so it wasn't just the people who were born in the swamp down,
you know,
wherever in the forties,
this was once more people started moving down there,
it became a little bit different and that sort of shit.
But he came up in a segregated area went to all black schools and
you know very poor um he his dad apparently had died before he was born oh my which is
tough i mean obviously the he wasn't even born yet for christ's sake yeah i mean it's traumatic
enough to lose the guy that you're that's hero, but to never have the hero in the first place.
Did he get another dad?
He's the last of nine children.
Oh, dear.
And his dad died while his mom was pregnant.
And they were husband and wife together having kids.
It wasn't like different people or whatever.
I don't think the wife expected that to be left with nine
children like holy shit in the 40s too because he's born in 1942 so i mean this is right before
the war where times are tough anyway and right during when the war effort's starting and i mean
you don't even have 10 you have to give it to the government for the more effort like it's a
this is serious shit you know you really everybody in the country had to
make sacrifices and if you were already at the lowest rung of the economic ladder yeah you got
very little to sacrifice anyway yeah we're talking sacrifices for you or like whoo man that hurts
that's not just wake up in the morning yeah that's not just oh you know some fancy shit that was in
our house is made of some stuff we need for the war effort.
This is like, this is serious.
We need food.
That was the fork we all share.
Yeah, I was waiting for him to finish with it.
Like his his brother, Alfred Lang, is around and kind of in the picture throughout his whole life.
His brother, Alfred, said that they were.
This is his quote,
quote,
typically poor Southern blacks for the time,
obviously for 1942.
He said that quote,
some days my mother had to send me to my uncles to borrow a cup of grits,
which that's tough going with nine kids when you,
you know,
and when you're worried,
that's rough,
man,
that's a rough borrowing grits.
You're borrowing grits.
Yeah, that's, that's tough enough with two people pitching in at full strength like with one person and nine children i mean jesus christ i don't know how the hell you do that except move
into a shoe and write fucking rhymes about yourself that's all i can imagine so his name
obviously that's a the people ask him always when he gets into the NFL and even.
How do you get there?
Yeah.
Why is your name Israel?
My mom's got nine kids.
She ran out of ideas.
That's how.
Well, he's got a, I like his explanation for it.
He says, quote, that he has hasn't the faintest idea why his name is Israel.
And he's never asked his mother, quote.
It never occurred to me to ask.
He just never thought about it.
That's his name.
Then he says, quote, I'm the youngest one of four boys in my family with a biblical name.
I'm the youngest, too.
Maybe they thought if they didn't give me a biblical name, they'd never have another chance.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I'm the only one with the biblical name.
So they were like, let's.
And then maybe that was because the father died.
I'm not sure.
You think you'd be mad at God if you were religious and the dad died while you're pregnant,
leaving you with nine kids.
You'd be like, yeah, this is part of his plan.
His name is Fuck Jesus, which is a really weird name to send a kid to school with in
the South and the floor.
Like, damn, woman, are you?
Yeah, I said it.
That's what I that's what I wrote on the damn birth certificate.
And I meant it. Do you see this? Fuck the damn birth certificate, and I meant it.
Your first name is fuck?
Yeah, but my middle name is Jesus.
Make more sense?
Makes sense now.
Very strange.
I'm just saying, I'd be angry at everything if I was poor and going to war, and the country's going to war with Hitler.
I'm dirt poor, and I have nine kids, and my husband died.
I'd be fucking furious at everybody and everything.
Going into a war that's going to take a minute, and I barely have tomorrow.
So what the fuck?
Slight bit of effort.
So he goes to high school at Middleton High in Tampa, and he's a big star there, but he's a tackle.
He's not even a running back then.
He's a big, sturdy tackle he's not even a running back then he's a big sturdy guy six two he's about
235 240 when he gets into the nfl which would be a big fullback now that's a hell of a fullback
that's a big back then that's a bruising fullback too i mean that's today that's a lot of man well
back then that was an offensive lineman that wasn't even a running back back then that was
like you know jim brown was close to that and you know there's a couple other guys but mostly that was an offensive lineman if you were that big so two
more inches and that big fucker's a tight end oh yeah a big doll the one of them would be great
but he's he plays tackle coming up because he's such a big guy um he says in this one interview
they talked to him in the south florida newspaper they talked to him in the 60s and they're like
remember that game you played against
Dillard High School in 1958?
You know, do you remember anything you did in that game?
And he said, quote, No, I didn't do anything spectacular.
How many spectacular things can a high school tackle do?
Like, what the fuck do you want from me?
I blocked this guy real good and the crowd cheered like they were a bunch of times.
See, they were watching the ball, so they didn't see what I was doing and nobody cared.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
I remember watching football when I was a kid.
There'd be like a hold and I'm like, who gives a shit?
Did you see that guy's run?
Yeah, that was amazing.
The hold is the reason of the run, but you're not watching that shit.
Still, if it's a good enough run, we should override the hold, I think.
He broke two tackles, so that tells me.
He did that.
So we should, tell you what, halfway.
He gained 30.
We'll give him 15.
Such a heartbreak on the hold from alignment.
That'd be great if every penalty had a big negotiation afterwards to figure it out.
All right, we've just got eight yards for them, but they get to start at their own 40
on their next possession.
That's what we've all worked out and break.
By the end of it, there'd be like 50 deals in place
going on oh the second quarter brokerage of the peace treaty of it'd be amazing we wouldn't know
what the fuck was going on if they get a first out it should just be 10 yards off of whatever
was gained it shouldn't be 10 yards from the line of scrimmage and back and lose it down that's a
lot right or not lose it down but still no that's a lot it's still a lot it's a very it's a it's a
stringent penalty it's that's fucked up i feel like my series of negotiations uh state of the
game would be good because now you don't even have to watch the game of the fourth quarter anyway who
who cares how they got to you know 21 17 now i want to see what happens with this so this way
you'd have to watch the beginning of the game to know what was going to happen at the end.
What's the drama?
You'd know that, oh, that team can catch their balls with only one foot in bounds because of the third quarter treaty of the face mask.
You know what I mean?
Like that's part of the deal they worked out.
That's interesting to me.
Very complicated.
You'd really have to pay attention
to the game every minute of it i feel like it'd be better for their ad dollars i'm just saying
not as exciting i understand but by the end brokering that would happen yeah you'd need
a legal pad next to you to write this shit down because you'd be forgot i flipped to that game
christ what's going on over here now complicated and eventually it comes down to like what the
running back is willing to uh give up for those yardage it's a whole but he did sacrifice his bentley for to make these yards
he did that he gave his bentley to the middle linebacker for that and each team would have
an attorney on the sidelines walking back and forth next to the coach you'd have the coach
in like his team polo shirt and you'd have an attorney full suit and tie with a briefcase
walking next to him getting ready to negotiate things that'd be amazing what's what we need now we're talking
about a game this is outstanding the quarterback just offered a future bail money to ezekiel
elliott i'm telling you he has offered one night with his wife for a one-on-one fly pattern down the left side with his top receiver.
For the next time Tyreek Hill pummels his child, the running back is offering his legal services.
I mean, that's something to me.
That's a real game.
Like I said, by the fourth quarter, it's a lot of complicated complicated shit it's like the middle east over there by the fourth quarter you're like well no we
put a treaty so you can't put any settlements here but yeah but then this one that that's not
fair because in 1936 that happened this is what we're gonna do it's all the same i like it that
makes the nfl so much better yeah yeah that's all it makes a little more complicated and stupid rules
yeah fuck it who gives a shit why not let's let them let's let them really play you want to let them play
may as well i mean we're pretending that we're not injuring these guys at this point acting like
this shit's safe it's good for their brains too they'll have to really they'll stay mossy you know
i'm thinking i'm thinking out there i think this is working man it's better for everybody really it's a flex and muscle memory
it teaches kids to negotiation is really the the key of life it doesn't matter success well
nothing's worth anything it's only worth what you can negotiate it for so that's worth what
somebody's gonna pay for it based on uh how you value yourself and your product so this
make it later on when you're asking for raises and stuff. This is this is good experience.
You worked out deals later.
But earlier within Peewee football was very we can do this.
OK, so is he is he's offered a scholarship to Florida A&M.
Yeah.
And he said, quote, I didn't like the system there.
My brother went to Florida A&M, though, but he didn't play football.
So that's where
alfred ended up going i believe maybe a different brother i'm not sure but he doesn't go there for
what from what i understand he ends up i don't know if he went to a school for a year and
transferred he ends up at tennessee state eventually okay but he starts out at Florida A&I. He has a lot of history there.
I'm not sure.
Agriculture and industry.
That might be it, actually.
Artificial and insemination.
That livestock needs it bad.
It's a lot of fisting cows all day.
Bring the next one.
Hold on.
Let me get a new glove.
This one is filthy.
So, yeah, he goes there and meets the first of his famous friends that he ends up collecting over the years. He becomes very good friends with Wilma Rudolph, who is the future. Yeah. future like hero of the Rome Olympics for the United States and uh you know kind of an icon
of black culture as well American culture really she's a badass Olympian so she went there too
uh yes I guess she that's where he met her was at Florida A&I got it and um he said quote uh
Wilma could outrun me I guess but don't let that get out so yeah that's that's he was embarrassed
by that a little so uh he goes to anybody. She's amazing.
Don't tell anybody.
It's not like the whole entire world was watching her fucking run circles around people from every country on Earth a little while ago.
She probably could work.
Yeah.
A 240 pound former tackle.
Probably.
We would think so.
So he ends up at Tennessee State for his, you know, whatever here.
The Tigers, that is. And you don't hear much at Tennessee State for his, you know, whatever here, the Tigers, that is.
And you don't hear much about Tennessee State.
So to find even their like it's really hard to find like their records for football seasons, even from back then.
Never mind like rosters or stats or anything like that.
It's founded in 1912.
It's the only state funded historically black university in tennessee
oh it's awesome so here yeah it's uh not that it's the only one that's the only book yes that
it's there anyway yeah it's a member of the a member school of the thurgood marshall college
fund and it offers 41 different bachelor's degrees 23 masters and eight doctoral degrees
and it's awesome classified among our two doctoral universities uh high research activity whatever the fuck that means it's a
sounds impressive something there he enters college he's about six one and change 230 something pounds
big bruising guy uh he plays fullback tackle and defensive back so this is still the time when in the nfl there were still
players playing both ways playing whole games so in college a lot of times in his first couple
years especially he's returning kicks he's he's literally a defensive back he's like a safety or
a corner garden people he's playing tackle they're moving him to fullback he's playing all over the
place he's just a really big, athletic, skilled player.
So they put him in everywhere.
He apparently, when he was in high school at Middleton, he was named to the all-state offense and defensive teams playing both ways.
So that's how this guy is just amazingly, you know.
He's talented, yeah.
Yeah, he's one of these guys in high school.
He's a man among boys, just's talented. Yeah. Yeah. He's one of these guys in high school. He's a man among boys just mowing people down. He was given the fullback spot because he's such a in college because in college you in high school, if you have big guys, you put them on the line in college. You can get some big guys for the line. And then if you got guys that have some speed, you don't need to put them on the line. You can do other things with them. So they do that and they put him, you know, make him a fullback a fullback he's got good speed if he carries the ball he's got good blocking ability from being a
tackle and um you know they let him kind of learn as he went basically to learn on the field he said
quote the fundamentals and skills i learned in high school was the biggest contribution toward
any kind of success i have had he's very he positive. In college, the Tennessee State Tigers go 4-4-1 in 1961.
1-7-1 in 1962.
Yikes.
That's not good.
And then 5-11-2 in 1963.
Oh, no, no.
I'm sorry.
That was a different.
Oh, that was that guy's whole record.
I'm sorry.
They fire their coach then. In 63, they get a new coach. That was a different, I don't know. Oh, that was that guy's whole record. I'm sorry. They fire their coach then.
In 63, they get a new coach.
They go 6-3 that year.
And 64, they go 8-2.
And after he left, they ended up 9-0-1 and then 10-0.
So they ended up.
So he was the problem.
They ended up, yeah, clearly him.
But they got a good coach in that built a good program for them.
So he was a big star in college.
But still going to a small school like that
where it's hard to even find the rosters from 1961.
The NFL draft is kind of tough for him.
He's not going to be like a top prospect here.
Well, let's see.
Number one pick that year, Jimmy.
What year? 1964 NFL draft. Dwayne Tarkenton. Yeah. Dave Parks. um well let's see number one pick that year jimmy 1964 1964 and i felt tarkington yeah
dave parks really dave parks for san francisco he's a hall of famer right do i know that name
uh dave parks i believe if i'm not mistaken he's one of the guys that sparked uh a controversy
because he he left san franc Francisco as a free agent.
This is the whole free agency thing.
Because before, basically, Pete Rozelle, the commissioner,
if there was a guy who signed as a free agent away from his team,
the team that lost the guy would have to be compensated by the team that signed the guy.
So Pete Rozelle, the commissioner, would just randomly decide what the compensation was. So Dave Parks...
It's essentially the negotiation tactic that we want for the rules.
But taken completely out and given to one guy who just says, this is what it is.
So Dave Parks, if I'm not mistaken, was a tight end, I think. And he was a good tight end,
but he was later on, it was in the 70s, it was 10 years from now, he was at the end i think and he was a good tight end but he was later on it was in the 70s it was
10 years from now he was at the end of his career and he signed as a free agent and roselle told the
team he signed with the they had to give up like a first round draft pick in the next two drafts
for it so they sued the league and it became a big giant deal of there has to be a standard
compensation it can't just be up to this fucking guy to decide from thing to thing.
It's an insane value.
Yeah, it's fucking ridiculous.
Maybe the teams could negotiate that amongst themselves as part of making a deal.
That's a thing maybe you could do.
Like a trade.
Like a trade.
But then it would camper the ability of them to sign free agents and shit like that.
So you need a standard rule that says if you sign a free agent you have
to give up this or whatever the fuck anyway i believe i could be completely wrong and that's
not the guy but i think that's the guy uh even if it's not that did happen it happened at some
point from a guy from san francisco so i think it's him uh bob brown also who turns out to be
a very good friend of his he's uh going on. He's drafted by the Eagles.
Number two overall.
So that's number two.
You get your Charlie Taylor, who's a Hall of Famer.
Number three, Washington.
He was great.
What was his name?
Scott Appleton from Dallas here.
He didn't do too well, I don't think.
Some of these guys.
Let's find Hall of Famers here.
There's a few of them. Jesus Christ. a lot of Hall of Famers in this.
Roger Staubach is a late rounder because he was in the Navy,
so he wasn't available for a couple years because he had to do naval service.
And they got him late?
Yeah, because the Cowboys were smart back then.
This is when they first started figuring out draft shit.
They drafted two Hall of Famers in late rounds this year were smart back then this is when they first started figuring out draft shit they drafted
two hall of famers in late rounds this year because they weren't guaranteed they were ever
going to play for him but they just took a chance uh which was bob hayes who's a hall of famer he
was an olympian nobody knew if he was going to play football or not they just took a chance and
tried to talk him into it and then roger staubach because he had naval service and nobody wanted to
take the chance that he wouldn't play football or he'd get hurt in the Navy or some shit like that.
So they were the ones that drafted him.
The sweetest man that's a professional athlete that I've ever met in my life.
I couldn't believe how kind he is.
He did something shitty in the last few years.
I don't remember what it was.
Oh, no, no.
I think he got robbed maybe by somebody or scammed or something.
I'm not sure.
That would make sense because he's so nice.
somebody or something i'm not sure that would make sense because he's so nice well wasn't there somebody wasn't there uh oh the the fucking scamming uh guy that we had the race car guy
didn't he use his name oh yeah starbucks name is because he's saying he was back in the maybes that
came up somehow he just came up on our show somehow he's a darling i met him at the hall
of fame and he sat at a table fucking all day and signed everything
that anybody ever brought to him.
And then as he was getting up, somebody asked for an autograph, and he sat back down and
signed a shitload of things for them.
If you've got a Staubach autograph, it's got to be worth a dollar, because they'll just
sign fucking anything.
He's so nice.
He's at the grocery store just-
Just flooding the market.
By the fucking deli section, waiting for them to slice his turkey, and he's just like firing
them off.
Signing everything. Signing footballs, throwing him over the aisles to kids and shit go out deep
here you go here's an autograph for you he's just great cans out his business card autograph
it's just a football card from the 60s all autographed up
i wouldn't i would not put it past him true it's funny uh paul warfield drafted by cleveland he's
a hall of famer a lot of people in the hall of fame and this was also the time when the u.s
or the afl was going on so there was competition for players and all this type of shit uh mel
renfro from dallas another hall of famer dallas got three hall of famers in this draft so that's
i think pittsburgh had a draft maybe 71 or something like that where they
got uh bradshaw joe green jack lambert they got like four hall of famers in a draft it's one of
those oh paul kraus from washington also hall of famers so that jesus christ so many fucking
hall of famers this is silly this is fun to look at these old farts. And Bob Hayes was drafted in the seventh round,
Staubach 10th round by the Cowboys.
10th round.
But Izzy, he lasts all the way up to the 18th round.
Jesus Christ.
It's a long day.
Which was still only pick 240,
because there wasn't a lot of teams.
So that's still not even that much.
So 240, he's picked by the Eagles,
right before a guy named Theophile Wiltz, which is the crazy Theophile.
He only wants to fuck people named Theo.
He's a Theophile.
Theophile Wiltz.
Wiltz.
He's a runaway Nazi posing as an NFL player.
I am Theophile Wiltz.
I grew up in the Alabama.
We played the football, all the winter songs.
It's very nice.
It's my whole life.
I've never seen Germany.
Germany? No, no, no.
I've been to Georgia one time.
I will have a snitz sandwich.
I will have a sandwich.
I like the hoagies very big so oh man so he's
drafted by the eagles he says quote i'm happy to have been drafted by the eagles but that wasn't
my biggest thrill that came against our big rivals jake gaither's florida a and m team we beat him
14 12 so he's saying that was his biggest honor was to beat their rival here.
He played in that game.
He played the full 60 minutes.
He played every minute of the game.
Wow.
That's insane.
That's just crazy.
That's crazy.
You couldn't do suicide.
If you did that now, the guy could sue you and win a lot.
Like you can't do that.
The union would go like people would freak out.
Rightfully so.
That's nuts.
That's like half a season on your body in one game.
You don't have any recovery time.
His assignment was to guard Bob Hayes of the Cowboys.
Jesus Christ.
Literally, at that time, the fastest human being in the world.
Legitimately, at the Olympicslympics on uh you know keep
up with that guy and that's who he's got to get that's who he's got a guard and hayes had net uh
he had uh minus six net yards for the day so he had nothing held him to negative six negative six
shut his ass down to a loss to a loss and that was the uh so he ended up with uh the game ball for that which is a huge honor
and there for the against the rival and all that kind of shit so yeah he uh also gained 200 yards
in a game against central state in ohio which was did you say who he got drafted by i'm sorry did i
miss philly philly the eagles oh he's going philadelphia eagles yeah um he 100 yard dash time
is 9.9 which i don't know if i don't even know if that's good
or not but for a huge guy it seems pretty i don't think i could do that so it seems i'm gonna say
it's fast yeah yeah i mean it's if you double and a half uh 40s that's about four that's a four
seven forty four and then you gotta add some because it's a hundred yard dash and you add
another 20 so if you had a let's say he ran a Michael Vick
4.240 which that's you know
silly that would be 8.4
for an 80 and then
another
another 2.1
for that so
that's 10 so that's pretty
fast 9.9 pretty fast for a 100
yards seems fast but I mean that's also
if you let Michael Vick run a 100 yards he fast but i mean that's also if you let michael
vick run 100 yards he'd probably do it way faster because he wouldn't just start up once he gets up
to speed for yeah it's over so all right there you go anyway he uh he felt like uh he said that
he feels like he'd be able to be about 240 pounds without losing any speed and when he's in the nfl
he said i've always dreamed of a career with the pros it's the last
stop in a football player's athletic career and it's the top of the heap i feel my chances are
good because of my speed but i'm just thankful i'm getting the chance so he's very aw shucks in
the beginning of his career and uh then he gets fun like he came from uh poor florida and now
he's working yeah the dream job he's excited to have an opportunity rather than being poor during the war.
This is much better probably.
So 1964 he comes in and when he's a rookie he goes out one Friday and this begins his fucking craziness that he starts goes out one Friday and he buys his and hers Cadillacs for him and his girlfriend.
And a girlfriend.
Him and his girlfriend, his and hers Cadillacs.
That's right.
So that's nice.
And he tells the dealer, I'll take these.
I play for the Eagles.
You know me.
I'm the guy they drafted this year.
I'm the rookie.
You got it.
You'll see me out there.
Don't worry about that.
He said, just send the bill to the team.
They're going to pick it up.
You know, this is part of my deal.
I get his and her Cadillacs. So send it to the team. It's cool. No worries about that.
So they said, yeah, sure. That's probably no problem. It's the Eagles. Where's he going to go?
We know the Eagles. They're there on Sunday. We'll just go over there. So Monday morning,
they call. They didn't even wait. They didn't even call Friday. They just, we'll wait till
Monday morning. No big deal. They call Monday morning, the Eagles, and they go, yeah, we're
just wondering if we could collect payment for those his and her Cadillacs. And they're like, morning no big deal they call monday morning the eagles and they go yeah we're just uh wondering
if we could collect payment for those his and her cadillacs and they're like what now his and her
what like your draft pick your guy your rookie this year is he lang he said you guys were picking
up the tab on his and her cadillacs he drove off beauty beauty one was sky blue i'm telling you
the the velour seats this thing rode like a dream pal and uh and whistles oh it was
impressive so he gave that to the little lady and he kept a different one black one very sleek i
feel like he's gonna gonna go a long way in that car and the eagle said what the fuck are you
talking about we know that nothing about that that's not part of anything we definitely didn't
say we were going to pay for not one but two cadillacs um no
absolutely not so he had to return the two cadillacs to the dealership which then had used
cadillacs now right they were got no compensation for awkward ride back to the dealership but he
was like he thought it was cool because they got for him he thought it was like renting cadillacs
for the weekend he said they got free cadillacs and they used them all weekend that's why they did it on friday so that was what
that was his his plan there he was they said that all of his teammates said he's a real pleasant guy
fun to be around big he's got a big deep voice like a big deep voice a big booming laugh that you can hear
throughout everything yeah he's a you know fun guy to have around dedicated player they said
you know on the field you could count on him at practice he's there for you he'll play 60 minutes
for christ's sake this guy count on him for anything one thing he's into though much like
the cadillacs is he's very very very much into material things well beyond his means.
Yeah.
Just well.
You're an 18th round draft pick in the NFL in the 60s.
You're making shit.
At this point, he's making $13,000 a year.
Yeah.
We'll get his and hers Cadillac.
Yeah.
Bonus, which is a lot in the 60s.
It's a good living, but you're not a millionaire. You know what I mean? in the 60s it's a good living but you're not a millionaire
you know what I mean it's a you're making a good living you're like a good upper management white
collar job you have basically you live in the suburbs are meeting yeah everything's fine you
can have a Cadillac and a decent little house but you can't go crazy like he does um him and his
girlfriend later his wife will talk about her because she's a very interesting part of the story and tragic and everything else.
She they the teammates all said they're living well beyond the salary at all times.
A former Eagles tackle named John Myers said, quote, is he enjoyed the finer things in life?
He always drove a fancy car and had the nice jewelry and nice clothes.
Unfortunately, he was
living on a lot of credit none of us was making a lot of money back then so he's doing uh norm
sneed who was the quarterback during the late 60s so the one guy who is making real good money is
the quarterback because not only are the team is the team paying him well because he's the face of
the team but then they have endorsements and they're doing commercials all over town and they're earning it yeah they're making they're driving around free cars from
dealerships because they actually do get a free cadillac if they you know that's what he thought
he could yeah he's like well you know i figured i'll be like that someday like the i remember
reading this in this book about jim kelly when he went to the houston gamblers in the usfl part
of his deal was a new corvette every three months or 5,000 miles.
He got a new Corvette from the dealership for doing local Corvette commercials in Houston.
When you change your oil, he gets a new car.
That's it.
Yeah.
He just, rather than change his oil, he just pulls it in and they give him a new one.
They just give him a new car.
Yeah, we'll change that.
And while we're doing that, just take this one and we'll sell this one.
Service sounds like a headache.
Nobody wants to wait for the car. Just
have a new one fired up for me outside. The wait is over. So far, you're not losing. The only thing
you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that. The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do
anything. You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
OK, so, um...
This is not a so. This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
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ad free on the amazon music or wondery app so uh yeah he would do all that so norm sneed the the
you know the guy here he uh he would always say that it was like a big highlight
whatever Izzy and his wife would wear to the stadium
because they would come dressed like sharp and fur coats and real fancy and shit.
And everyone was like, damn, what's Izzy going to be wearing today?
Like crazy hats.
He was into the real style of the 60s and all that kind of shit before most people were he
was on the just the cutting edge of that the forefront of that reason for that is his wife's
in the music industry and we'll talk about that but oh really uh yeah norm sneed said quote he
asked me one time what do you do with your money norm you don't wear it or drive it
what do you do what kind of thing is that to say no he said he just laughed car looking at
your clothes what do you do with your money he goes yeah what do you do shit you ever see night
shift yeah with yeah with michael key we talked about that and andrew winkler when he's gonna go
what are you doing with all your money chuck because he's got a crazy car and all this shit
what are you doing he goes come with me and he takes him to the cemetery and he goes he bought
a cemetery.
That's a good idea.
People got to die.
Why can't they die for us?
Chuck and Bill Cemetery.
So anyway, that's, what are you doing with your money?
But he thought it was hilarious because he was saving his money and, you know, doing
shit like that with it.
Right.
Trying to live on this later.
Yeah.
And spending what he had and stuff.
And Sneed said, quote, Izzy was Izzy.
It's hard to describe. And that's kind of the way everybody puts it great guy a lot of fun love to have him around
and you're like what was he like they go hard to describe izzy's izzy there's just no other way to
describe him he's just that guy so it's real fun 1964 though his rookie year he plays in 12 games
there's 14 in a season back then he rushes the ball 12 times for
37 yards which is fine he has six receptions as well um for 69 yards and then he also has some
uh some touch uh some uh punt returns that he does as well fumble fumble itis would be the way to put this guy oh no this year he has i think he has 18 total
touches of the ball yeah and he has uh seven seven fumbles out of 18 oh my god he is just
butterfingers to the extreme just 40 time he touches that he loses he's gonna fumble the ball
like don't get him the ball.
God, hold on to it.
Jesus Christ, is he.
Hold on tight.
Pitch it, Izzy, pitch it.
It just must be a thing that defense has found on film.
Maybe he carried the ball low.
Sometimes they'll find that in a rookie and they'll attack it.
Something that nobody saw in college.
That's what happens.
In the NFL, they're a lot more.
It's a business, so the guys are.
Yeah, detail oriented.
They study film, even back then really closely and they look for little things that
jerry kramer guy he's talking about in films i saw that on past plays the guy would move his left toe
slightly out and you could see when the quarterback would get halfway through his shit he'd move his
left toe out and that means it's a pass so then i would own this guy and i'm like how often do you have to watch film with all that shit going on to notice this guy's left toe
moved and it's like an inch and a half he's saying like it slightly moves out before he does the move
right yeah as a cue like that's but that's how closely even back then they were looking at it
so now when you can zoom in perfectly christ it's probably worse. So the second year there, he has a lot of problems as well.
He fumbles the ball in a fourth quarter of a game against the Lions.
And he has a 27-yard gain.
And then they get into Lions territory.
And then they give him the ball again.
And he fumbles it and gives it away.
And they end up losing the game.
And he's very disappointed. And then they give him the ball again and he fumbles it and gives it away. And they end up losing the game.
And he's very disappointed.
And he said, quote, no one has to tell me I have the ability.
It's just a matter of confidence with me.
I'm going to do better.
And then he put on a giant fur hat and he left.
And people were like, fucking awesome.
There is no way better to make the fans fucking loathe you than fumbles and drops like one way or either one.
Fuck the fans. Coaches.
Open you. And coaches. Coaches want to
kill you. When a play works, except
for the part where you've dropped the
ball, which is they, when they drop
a play, they don't go, don't drop the
ball while you're doing that. They figure they don't even have to
say that part. They have all the other shit where
we block these guys who are trying to kill you out and all that that's all
complicated we did all that and then you fucking dropped it we thought the obvious part was hang
on to the fucking ball everyone did everything except that one thing tell you that one thing
yeah back in the day parcells used to fucking bench people for fumbling like hardcore he was
and they still vicious about it yeah he was it is
really heartbreaking to see a guy fumble three or four times in a four game period yeah that
just consistently on this in the same way drops the fucking ball or drops from a receiver when
you see a guy make a beautiful move on a cornerback get wide open quarterback throws
45 yards to a moving fucking target.
That's amazing.
An impossible thing happened.
That's amazing.
And you can't just grab the fucking ball?
Go outside and try to throw a ball 45 yards, number one.
And if you can possibly do that, then try to throw it exactly when you need to,
timed to perfection to a moving fucking target at that distance.
In the right place with the ability for that guy to catch it.
Every time.
And see if your fucking shoulder stays together.
But only him.
No one else.
That's the other thing.
Only him.
It can only go there.
There's eight guys out there in that backfield.
His outside shoulder, not his inside shoulder from 45 fucking yards away.
And then have that guy just drop the ball.
And you go, Jesus Christ. Drew the lisa and you do shit on her forehead you just completely put a
fucking that never mind her missing eyebrows through the canvas you cocksucker that's why
she's got no eyebrows it got washed away with the shit when you took a dump on it you fucking jackass
so uh yeah that's that's a terrible thing uh his friend bob brown who was
the eagles number one draft choice and a future hall of famer he says that izzy's had a great
deep resonant laugh that just echoed throughout the locker room made everybody like him he said
quote even though he might not have been the star running back he was always a fun guy for everybody
to be around we were our cell we were young our
legs were fresh we had great hopes high ideas all the things you have in your early 20s yeah so
bob brown he puts izzy in that part of the glory days of his life he's a part of it you know what
i mean being a young yeah being a young first round draft pick in the 60s with your whole life
ahead of you and money and all this stuff, that's got to feel great.
And there's a place for that guy in the locker room, even if he's not utilized heavily on the field.
That guy is so imperative to the character building of that locker room and keeping the camaraderie of the guys together.
Oh, it's all a big cocktail.
But it sounds like Izzy doesn't realize that that's his role and he wants the flash.
That's the thing. Yeah, he wants to be a great player and they're like, no, no, Izzy doesn't realize that that's his role and he wants to flash. That's the thing.
Yeah, he wants to be a great player and they're like, no, no, Izzy.
You're fun.
You're fun to have around.
That's the thing.
Your voice.
That's the important part in you.
Every once in a while, you know, he'll get a good run off and, hey, look at Izzy go.
But, I mean, he's good to have around.
He's a good shit, as they say.
Right.
You know, they like having him there.
Great hang.
Yeah.
But Bob Brown brown it makes sense
that he would just put izzy in there while he's sitting around listening to glory days he's right
you know got that going on so is he that he plays in all 14 games that year he has 10 rushes this
year for only 25 yards and one touchdown with a long of eight yards so that wasn't much only two receptions for 15 yard or for 30 yards and no
touchdowns there but no fumbles either this year great so yeah that's i mean he didn't fumble
doesn't do much good guy to have around what's he gonna wear today hey is he's funny and then you go
out all numbers are a positive thing at this point that's great yeah and then when you come off the
field and izzy's in the locker room you're like oh shit were you here the whole time that game was great
now the game today is it's around this time where his brother jim is stabbed to death by his wife
oh my god his own wife not izzy's wife that would be weird that'd be really weird if that happened
but no this is his brother jim stabbed to death by his
wife shit which is pretty fucking crazy uh is he also at this time though there's good news bad
news he begins to appear in local beer commercials as well at this point because he's known as a
character and for the the shit that he wears and the stuff like that the fans have started to take
notice of him and like him as a mascot.
He doesn't play, he doesn't do very much, but we like him.
He's our guy.
He sells Philly beer.
That's great.
That's what I mean.
He does that, and that's good, but it's got to be a lot for him to take in.
An awful lot for him to take in.
Something like, it'd be like going back to 1965 and taking in the sales, Jimmy.
All of the wonderful sales going on in 1965 um i found i'm gonna drop sales in every once in a while here because we're going
through the decades i found some funny stuff here i found uh in from the philly paper this is uh
phillies at dodgers or dodgers coming into town to play the Phillies at Connie Mack Stadium. So that
tells you how goddamn old it was.
Four dollars for four
dollars. You get air conditioned
buses and tickets
and tickets to the game. So you get an air conditioned
bus ride and a ticket to the game for four dollars
on a Friday night
versus
the Dodgers who are like an A
they were a huge Sandy kofax was dominating this
is huge yeah this yeah they're like a world series team at this point so that's that's pretty fucking
awesome and then four bucks for all that and then if not how about you like speed rigs jimmy is here
one of your idols speed rigs famous tobacco auctioneer let me turn your get your chair over here
check him out speed rigs he looks like he looks like jerry orbach's father yeah that's what he
looks like famous tobacco auctioning off what is he doing i guess tobacco lots like for if you know
big for different companies but he recommends it says
here new lucky strike filters they're new they put the taste uh they they put back the taste
others take away so i mean i have no idea okay so that's he he recommends it though the tobacco
auctioneer guy i don't know and then uh take a trip over to the grocery store
where you can get some of those lucky strikes and also pick up those you know the cans of high c
that they still sell the big like where you gotta fucking high boys puncture it yeah you gotta
puncture it three of those cans for 79 cents deal which sounds great butter, three pound jar, 99 cents. Three fucking pounds?
Yeah.
Shit tickets, toilet paper here.
Four rolls for 29 cents.
That seems good.
I mean, they're probably terrible.
You know, they're probably terrible.
It's a luxury.
Terrible.
ShopRite mayonnaise, 39 cents, everybody.
Look at that.
What do we have?
White tuna in the can, two cans for 69 cents.
It's always been.
And a five-pound box of shrimp for 379.
It's a shrimp sale at the ShopRite of Fairless Hills in Fairless Hills, Pennsylvania, if you happen to be back in 1965.
You can get all of that.
I remember very vividly when things cost cents nothing nothing
is cents anymore no that's so weird don't throw those coins out kids probably just get coins and
they're like ew and they just throw them in the garbage on the way out of the store
an old man could have totally jizzed on these i'm throwing them away yeah
that's covid's origin story it's pennies and dimes from old men jizz yeah it's very sad when
the old men jizz on it all it's no good sitting in the bottom of a cup holder in a car for years
oh man so 1966 izzy has a good training camp where he's kicking some ass and he's looking good.
So somebody put next to the I, his name, I Lang, the name card on his locker, somebody
wrote next to it, Jim Brown next to him.
And Jim Brown's obviously at this point considered the best player in the history of football.
And they said, did you write that?
The press said, do you think you're Jim Brown?
And he said, quote, I don't know who wrote it there uh but it sure wasn't me i don't want to be another jim brown i guess he was about the greatest there ever was but i don't want to be him all i want to
be is izzy what the fuck does that even mean i don't know that's what i mean i don't know what
that's about but uh he said that he's been what the fuck does that mean i don't know what that's about but uh he said that he's been what the fuck does that mean i don't know what
why would they write that why would anybody else write that on his locker that's clearly
some uh inspirational shit for us for himself why doesn't he just say that i'd like to be better
than i am breaking balls i just want to be izzy man i don't want the pressure being jim brown
i don't want to be that guy he's saying about playing fullback you just have to make up your
mind and stay confident so you'll be ready when you get your chance.
Somebody asked if I felt pressure on that fourth down play from some game.
Quote, heck, that's what a fullback's job is.
If I don't think I can make a yard, I'm not going to be here very long.
Okay, yeah.
That game, that year he plays in all 14 games, starts four games.
Great. That year he plays in all 14 games, starts four games. He rushes 52 times this year for 239 yards, which is 4.6 a carry, which is fucking really good.
One, he had a 39-yard as his long.
For a fullback, that's not too bad.
One rushing touchdown as well.
12 receptions for 107 yards is not bad either.
And has two fumbles this year.
But he actually touched the ball a lot.
Still too many fumbles for that little rushing.
But it's better than 7 out of 18.
That's crazy.
That's crazy time.
67 with the Eagles.
He comes out saying he wants to do things a little differently this year.
He said, Izzy, he wants a little bit of finesse right now.
He doesn't like his running style.
He said, quote, I want to be the matador, not the bull.
Oh, boy.
He's going to be, yeah, let guys slide off him a little bit,
because that takes its toll on you, bashing into NFL guys.
Fuck, yeah.
Fucking hurts.
So he said, quote, I would prefer just being a smart runner
than just the bull runner who runs over people.
I want to be able to adjust more to the situations.
And he said, in doing this,
I feel I'll become far more effective of a runner,
and that's what I want to be, more effective,
and not just a runner with one direction straight ahead.
Problem is, it's hard to change a running style
when that's kind of who you are and what you've done
and what your physicality kind of lends to.
Right. You've trained yourself to do this.
Now you've got to untrain it and retrain.
That's insane.
Remember back in the day, Christian Akoye,
when he would start going sideways,
when you'd see the shoulder pads turn, that's bad times.
It's not a good Christian.
They had to go perfectly straight forward,
and then guys would fall down like bowling pins around him.
But that also takes a toll on your body,
and that's why he didn't play very long.
Jim Brown, the same way. Jim Brown, he played a long time though jim brown he was a bad he played with he stopped yeah he didn't have to though he stopped because he wanted to
and he wanted to do movies and shit like that he did he stop because he was hurt because he was
beat up you think i mean probably but he also he had other career he had movies he had stuff like
he was a big pop culture icon so he he was like why should I get the shit beaten out of me as a pop culture icon?
Why don't I move that?
I'm not a terrible looking man.
I could be on TV and shit.
Well, that's, yeah, I remember seeing an interview with O.J. Simpson from like 1976 on the Bills where he held out for a better contract.
And then they were talking about, you know, do you not have passion for football? And he was like held out for a better contract and then they were talking about you
know do you not have passion for football and he was like no i have passion he goes but i'm not
going to play very much longer you know he had acting gigs at that point he goes you know i got
a career doing that that's that's that doesn't hurt as much right you're saying what feels better
yeah that made a lot of sense so uh he will be that night in the uh the in january of 1967 he's going to be subbing for
gail sayers at some banquet they're talking about he's going to do that he said though he really is
looking forward to being more elusive he said now take timmy brown for instance not the raiders hall
of fame receiver tim brown tim brown from back then i I'd like to... He's as old. Yeah.
Older than Tim
Brown's father probably this guy is.
I'd like to have his elusiveness.
He can't come straight at you
like me. He's too small for that, but
he can swing around tacklers in a real flashy
manner. Tim's a close friend of mine,
but I fear his size, which is
5'11", 198,
might be catching up with him.
I think if the club would move him away from the running back, halfback spot,
shoot, he could probably go on for another five or six more years
if they made him kind of a split end or someone they pass to more.
He said that I'd sure like to possess his ability to elude folks, though.
He's tremendous.
And so he says that he thinks they have a good
chance of going all the way this year and uh he said man i if they went to the super bowl he said
it would be groovy uh quote yeah man getting into that super bowl would be groovy yeah man i'd have
to buy me a new belt to hold up my pants i'd have so much change okay yeah so any of you guys gonna get paid he
likes to quote langston hughes in the locker room he's going around quoting poetry which is a odd
thing to do much you know in a 60s football locker room right that really brands you as a weirdo back
then even though that's not that weird if if you read ball four by jim bouton about baseball in the
60s if you read a book you were
considered like a communist basically back then like you were suspect like look at this guy
fucking reading over here like jesus they'd all roll their eyes omar epps in the program just
spitting out big words like a moron look at college boy over here with his books like
it was crazy so he ends up instead marrying a former Miss Philadelphia.
So that's his girlfriend this whole time.
Her name is Tasmania.
Tasmania Melanie Lang.
Goes by Taz.
T-A-A-Z.
Taz and Izzy?
Yeah, Taz and Izzy Lang.
And Taz is a badass.
She's cool as fuck, Taz is a badass she's cool as fuck
Taz yeah she's cool she's
she's a black lady but has like crazy
blonde hair and like she's in the music
industry and she's friends with like
everybody famous and like Michael Jackson
looks at her like an aunt and shit when
he's a little kid it's a it's really
weird but they end up
moving into a mansion
in Philly with a yard so large in the 60s it costs
hundreds of dollars a month to maintain just to maintain the wow in terms of watering and
landscaping and all this shit because it's this giant like picturesque yard that people have to
do so he can he can barely afford to landscape his house never mind the house it's it's crazy but she ends up doing very well for
herself in 67 though he starts 11 games does well 101 rushes for 336 yards and two touchdowns
he has uh receiving he ends up uh with 26 receptions for 201 yards four fumbles still
but he's getting there not bad um he ends up going they don't go to
the super bowl but they go they make the playoffs and they go to the playoff bowl which is the third
and fourth team would play that like the teams who lost in the conference championship games
play in this it was like a auxiliary imagine teams doing that now. For what? Never.
They used to do that, and they'd play the college all-star game where the Super Bowl winner would play the NFL champion or whatever when it was that, would play the college all-star team every year before the season.
Why?
Imagine that.
Because it was a spectacle people liked to watch.
I suppose.
This is before guys were
making this before this ass thing this is before there was like a hundred million dollars in one
guy running around this was when guys made 13 to know the pecking order that that much and every
year it was like 58 nothing like the college guys would never score a point because they're playing
the super bowl champions who are a team and against just some you know put together team of children essentially children that are going to be leaving
next year that don't they have no vested interest in this but uh israel here becomes the most
valuable player in the playoff bowl oh he's the mvp of the playoff bowl and he's he's very very
excited about that third and fourth place don
shula who was the coach of the cults at that point is really pissed off about it he's mad he said
that's bullshit that he won the player he said how could they select lang he said he didn't even
start the game and uh so i apparently he had done well early in the game, and the balloting comes before the end of the game,
so that's why it happened.
And Shula says, I still don't see how Lang could have got that award.
He's very mad.
He's saying there's foul play.
He's going to have a good first half, that's all.
It's not a big deal.
I think Shula's calling for some foul play here.
There's some rigging going on.
Yeah, I think there's some some rigging going on some uh yeah i think there's some uh arm twisting
possibly you never know uh super bowl comes around and they're asking him this is the packers and the
chiefs playing in the super bowl and they're asking him uh you know what's gonna happen he
says green bay is gonna win which they do end up winning he says man i'm not taking anything away
from the chiefs one of my best pals is on the club, but I like Green Bay by about 12.
He says, listen, man, those Packers have too much hosses.
Too much of them.
What?
And Kansas City has too much inexperience and youth.
I just think competition is keener in the NFL.
And we'll all see how true that is Sunday.
Too much hosses and then Keener in the next sentence.
He's just a very weird guy.
Yeah, he's very Southern, then throwing some British shit in there.
It's just fucking funny.
Like, yeah, I don't understand.
The way he speaks, he's an interesting guy.
That's the best way to put it.
He's just very interesting.
He says that he thinks he can't wait for next year.
He says, if I can get to be a little more elusive, I think I'll like it more.
Right now, I'm a situation runner.
If I have to go inside and over folks, then I'm the third and third man or the third and four man.
Third and three man or the third and four man.
Now, I just want to be more capable of swinging around the ends.
Give somebody the hip, take it away, and then run on you.
You're a fullback, though 1968 comes around his wife is pregnant taz is pregnant uh his son is born
he has a son he yelled ran around the hospital yelling i've got a boy i've got a boy in this
loud voice from floor to floor just like waking waking up sick people and shit they were like shut up
he's like fuck you i have a boy he's like super jacked what do you think he names his son jimmy
it's absolutely israel jr you know it he's gonna break all the rules um he is also becoming very
culturally relevant and yeah he becomes part of a circle of athletes of black athletes headed by rosie greer
who was an actor later and everything else uh that were around robert kennedy when he made was doing
campaign appearances in 1968 they were kind of part of his security team slash you know
they would talk and shit like that too it was just part of like this is the youth and
the black culture and all that and kennedy was showing that they you know he was down with that
shit so um yeah they blew their job well that shit how do you stop that yes uh wasn't the first ones
to fucking do that better than the secret service they're not the secret service so uh i i think john those guys fucked up
worse yeah this was in a restaurant and rosie greer was the guy to tackle sirhan sirhan and
wrestle the gun out of his hand so is that right yeah he was the guy who took the fucking gun from
him so rosie greer absolutely he's a bad motherfucker he went right at the gunman he
went toward it instead of away from it and tackled the dude and took the gun out of his hand so he
couldn't shoot kennedy moore wild assassination that was that really was that was
fucking insane in a kitchen it's just a lot so uh there's all sorts of conspiracies about that too
yeah um so we're gonna say this here grace right hanging with rosie that's it you know
he's married to miss philadelphia getting izzy jr he's hanging out you know in in big famous
circles of high society and politics and all this shit and it's impressive living in a mansion he's
doing wonderfully definitely grace for him now uh we'll put it there now i didn't mean to put this
by the way i guess this would be post grace but not his fault this has nothing nothing to do with
izzy's doing but also happens this year as martin
luther king is assassinated oh no which um yeah like we said izzy had nothing to do with that he
was not involved security detail that day or i'm i'm gonna outright say this um that i'm
100 sure izzy lang did not assassinate martin luther okay so i think we can we can clear him from the suspect
list i feel that is rather reckless of you it is i'm clearing him though you know what i'm gonna go
ahead and do it i'm gonna clear him yeah he said that uh controversial he he says now is he after
this is very sad and obviously and he's talking to the press a lot and he says he's had a reaction of real emotional distress in the that in this news of the assassination.
And he knew Martin Luther King and, you know, had helped him out in certain things and gone to stuff like that.
So he'd been involved. And, yeah, he says that he's going to settle in Atlanta someday.
involved and uh yeah he says that he's gonna settle in atlanta someday and he said that uh you know he's here and martin luther king was going through atlanta a lot and philly and talking
to people so he's seen him back and forth and he says his whole thing is he's trying to put out a
sign of he wants he wants he doesn't want this to be escalation is what he's saying he goes i don't
want this to be like they shoot mart Luther King and then we start killing people
and then this becomes
this big back and forth thing.
That's not what we need here.
Right.
And that's what the people
that did that shit want.
Well, yeah,
that's why they do it.
That's exactly right.
That's what terrorism is.
It's to fucking get a reaction.
It's not to kill one guy.
It's to provoke an overreaction.
So,
or a reaction
that people may find
as an overreaction. To justify the shit that we find as an overreaction so justify the shit that
we really want to do yeah uh now izzy said quote retaliation or reciprocation it's defeating
everything that this guy stood for he said there he uh he was uh he was hanging out with he went to
uh wilch with wilt chamberlain and he was with him and uh walt bellamy and all
this type of shit for the funeral and everything like that yeah he's a he's big in like big like
black athletic society he's he's a character that everybody knows he uh he said he gets mad when
people ask him why he attended the funeral service there people would be like how come you're here
and he's he said that he
would tell everybody the eagle sent me just as like a there what do you think i'm here for stupid
very funny yeah he uh he thought that that was ridiculous he didn't he was very angry that
anybody would think of him as like some sort of opportunist that was trying to advance his own image by showing up at a funeral and uh he said that he also didn't like how there was a lot of
politicians that came that didn't support martin luther king but then they were at the funeral
getting a photo op and all that kind of shit he's yeah he says quote i had to do something because i
shirked my duty when he was alive i didn't march with him when he lived and I should have.
I had to march at least once with him before he left us.
He was for all the poor, not just the black poor.
He was for Indians, Italians, and Puerto Ricans.
Poor ones.
Very funny.
I don't know why I just...
Poor ones.
That was a separate sentence.
Poor ones. God damn it. Everybody that's poor. very funny i don't know why i just poor ones is that was a separate sentence poor ones god damn
it that's great that's poor those fucking whites poor and at least olive that's what he was saying
was back then yeah well back then it was definitely a different thing so you know obviously you know
people didn't want their daughters marrying anything outside of what they had and shit like that.
So they just lumped anybody that was in there.
He said, quote, his nonviolent crusade was aimed at reliving or at relieving every impoverished man, black, green, white and polka dot.
And he said he converted a lot of white people to people who knew nothing about him until the bullet opened the world's eyes to his beliefs and his work.
So he said that he was also,
is he said that that's his quote.
So yeah,
he's a smart guy.
He's not dumb at all.
Hitting the head or not.
He's not a fucking dummy.
No,
he knows he's a character.
That's what I mean.
He knows when to turn it on.
And then he knows when he's being serious,
he can,
he can flow.
I mean,
that's a,
that's a really intelligent statement for a young athlete who
bashes his head into shit on every play it just is for any young athlete so he he said that the
bullet was the signal for men to kill the bullet uh was a signal for men to kill and destroy and
to avenge past grievances with uh with uh typewriters and petty remarks for the sake of
sick notoriety for some people, he's saying.
And he was mad at that.
He said they were not followers of King.
These people are like the politicians who are trying to attract the public
and use the ceremonies as an excuse.
They did not come for the service itself.
And I don't mean a man like Bobby Kennedy.
I think his immediate response was that of a man of concern.
He had experience in this type of tragedy.
He doesn't have to try to win the he doesn't have to try to win the colored vote, man.
He has most of it.
So, yeah, he's like he wasn't pandering.
Robert Kennedy.
He said that he also praised people who hated Martin Luther King that didn't show up.
He's like, at least they stuck to their principles, even though they suck.
Martin Luther King that didn't show up.
He's like, at least they stuck to their principles, even though they suck.
He said, I even thought Wallace and Maddox and George Wallace and Lester Maddox were southern assholes.
Politicians, you might recognize George Wallace from the footage of him trying to keep a black girl out of college or saying crazy shit in the 68 and 72 presidential campaigns.
He said, I even thought Wallace and Maddox were right in not showing up for that funeral.
You can respect these people for staying away.
It would have destroyed their image if they had have come.
At least they followed their principles, which is more than a lot of other people did.
Also, it tarnishes the legacy of a man so beautiful.
It's gross to see anybody take that uh as an advantage for
themselves but it it's gross to like act like that guy was something that you encourage you're
a fucking asshole stay away yeah that's yeah we don't need you here you hate you fuck you probably
cheered when he got shot you know i'm sure of it so yeah george wallace most certainly he uh he said that he's he needs to be he likes
to follow the examples of like oj simpson in a way to make a better community is what he said
he's he said quote if they consider me an uncle tom then i actually think that uh my people are
not ready to take the opportunities available to them i would like to begin working with kids
before they get caught up in circumstances and become the angry
violent types.
Like OJ,
like OJ,
I want to make the world
a better place
for my kid to come into.
As it is right now,
my kid won't stand a chance.
Boy, did that
historically get ruined.
Poorly aged quote there.
Very poorly aged.
I don't want them.
That's the daisy.
Yeah, he said,
we got to intervene in the angry,
violent types.
You got to be more like OJ,
which is.
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podcasts wild so uh but i get what he's saying but you know that's his stance is less radical
and more win people over with a smile and a handshake type of thing rather than uh you know
more than i wish i wish somebody was there with a camera the day that they broke the news to Izzy that OJ is a monster.
Yeah, it's like, oh, shit, really?
Oh, boy, I hope nobody finds that quote I said.
Shit, well, that's in an old newspaper.
No one will ever bring that up.
Nobody has any reason to read that.
I said that in 1968, man.
There's no way that's going to be out.
What was that?
That was almost 30 years ago.
Shit.
God damn it.
68 season starts six games. rushes 235 yards nothing spectacular 17 receptions 147 yards only one fumble this year
so solid right good for you is he um he wants a trade though he's not happy in philly he's not
happy with the role he said he was going to try to be more elusive that's just so he could get more more playing time he's tired of being
the big fourth down third down back he doesn't want to do that anymore so they oblige and they
send him to the los angeles rams okay there uh they get him the ram spokesperson said they traded
receiver harold jackson who turns into a big star couldn't do shit Harold Jackson, who turns into a big star. Couldn't do shit in L.A., but then turns into a big star for Philly.
And rookie defensive end John Zook for him.
And they said, quote, Lang should definitely give us some help at a position where we've had some question marks.
He's an excellent receiver with an explosive start.
So they're very, very happy to have him on board.
He doesn't contribute much that year
matter of fact he plays one play one play one he's he's he's there for 12 games he has one rush
that he touches the ball once and hurts himself one rush one yard and he's injured oh no fucks his leg up he said afterward uh quote i
couldn't even go up the steps to my home afterwards he fucked his knee up so bad so the rams let him
kind of sit on the on the back burner through the off season and then quickly trade him to the
broncos oh really yeah so the Broncos gave up players for him
who he never even came to training camp.
His leg was too fucked up.
He just retired.
What?
Yeah.
The Broncos were like, really?
That's fucked up, man.
God damn it.
Son of a bitch.
And he retired.
Season over, career over.
Done.
Career over, done.
Played six years, years 77 games started 21 245 rushes for 873 yards and
four touchdowns averaging 3.6 a carry which is extremely average um he 63 receptions 554 yards
four touchdowns there and uh 14 fumbles so career eight touchdowns 14 fumbles. So, career, eight touchdowns, 14 fumbles in his career.
That is unbelievable.
Yeah, that's not great.
A net loss of six fucking balls on the touchdown ratio.
That's a bad professional.
It's not great.
No.
But he's been around, and he's a character,
so he says, I got an idea.
Yeah.
Ball four, Jim Boughton's book that we've talked about a million times just came
out he says i'm gonna write me a book what the fuck why not so yeah he says he's gonna do that
he's gonna be the jim bouton of pro football he said a quote i'm writing a book about what's going
on i think there are many things in the national football league that are outdated and i think an
ex-player has some interesting things to say he said that
ball four gave him the idea and made him think why the fuck not why can't i so he wants to write a
tell-all at this moment uh he's a little all over the place to sit down at a typewriter for that
long i feel like he can come out with like a real good page here and there probably but then he's
gonna go do other things and get distracted he's got some good thoughts yeah yeah he's gonna be good here yeah he could put out a good page would probably take
him 20 years to write the book uh he does not star he gets a role in a film at that point so
he's trying to transfer and guys like rosie greer jim brown he's seeing all these guys and he's like
well yeah this is what i should be doing too i'm a character he's a big guy booming voice good good character actor you know let's have a career so he's in a movie called where's papa
in 1970 and let me show you the poster for oh my god scooch chair and i'll turn here we go
what george seagal uh it's on the top it says the tush scene alone is worth the price of admission
i guess you see a button is it i'm not sure the exact moment let's let's find out what this is
all about okay uh it's a 1970 black comedy film and they don't mean black people i don't think
i think they mean like a dark comedy back then i'm I'm not sure. Or because it's starring George Segal. You can't have a movie starring George Segal be a black movie.
Yeah, make it be.
He's the least black person in America.
Yeah.
So based on the 1970 novel by Robert Klain and starring George Segal, Ruth Gordon, Rob Liebman, and Trish Van Devere,
the plot revolves around the troubled relationship between a lawyer and his
senile mother who keeps interfering with his love life.
It's,
it's directed by Carl Reiner,
who is obviously a fucking legend.
Yeah.
You know,
Mel Brooks is hangout partner and show of shows.
And I mean,
to the beginning of television,
Carl Reiner,
if there was something funny on TV,
he had something to do with it.
It was just the way it was.
I believe he died recently at Carl Reiner, but he was like a hundred. So right. Him had something to do with it. It was just the way it was. I believe he died recently,
yeah, Carl Reiner.
But he was like 100, so.
Right.
Him and Mel Brooks were very old.
Mel's still going.
Yeah, Mel's still going.
But Carl's dead.
And Rob Reiner is his son,
the director and meathead
and all that kind of shit.
Rob Reiner was in this movie
as one of his first roles as well.
Oh.
He gives it to Rob Reiner.
God damn it,
I wish my dad was fucking awesome like that guy
you lazy bastard what are you doing working nine to five like an asshole ah do things so i could
have cool life got cool life driving five to two p.m and then he goes home and goes to bed
in some other state i've never met him
two years later rob reiner will go on to be in All in the Family as Meathead there,
as well as Paul Sorvino's in this movie.
Really?
He's in everything, Paul Sorvino.
Pauly from Goodfellas and everything else here.
Also, Garrett Morris from Saturday Night Live.
The black guy.
The black guy in the beginning.
Oh!
The black guy on Saturday Night Live.
How fucked is that?
Broadcast for the hearing impaired when he did that.
Gunshots rang out tonight in the Bronx.
People are shooting in the Bronx.
That's for the hearing impaired.
So this film came out, then was re-released in 1975 under a different title, Going Ape.
And he ends up in the, uh, yeah, it's, I don't know.
They say it became a cult classic on, on this.
So whatever.
He plays a character named Motherfucker with a U and an A.
Motherfucker.
That's what he plays.
Uh, not much of a role.
He said that, um, quote, I did a movie. It was. That's what he plays. Not much of a role.
He said that, quote, I did a movie.
It was called Where's Papa?
I played a thug in Central Park.
But that's not me.
I'm not like that.
I get along with people.
I believe in God.
I love my country.
You're an actor.
Yeah, we get it. The movie, actually, one of the actresses was nominated for a Laurel Award for the Star of Tomorrow.
Trish Vandeveraay, who I didn't even know how to pronounce her name, so that didn't work out very well.
And then the Writers Guild of America gave the award for Best Comedy Adapted from Another Medium to Robert Klain, the writer of this.
So people apparently liked it. Even in 1979, a half-hour television pilot was aired on ABC
for a proposed series titled Where's Papa?
Starring the same characters.
Great.
It wasn't picked up, though.
Okay.
There's that.
Now, that's surprising, but even more surprising, Jimmy.
How much was everything?
If you're in the El Paso slash Ju juarez area we have for you an ad for because
this is in the el paso paper and it says this is uh sunday may 3rd 5 p.m el paso time here we are
the downtown bullring oh shit plaza alberto balderas that's where it is i guess uh juarez
just four blocks from both downtown bridges safe convenient parking on both sides of the bridge.
Safe, convenient.
You know, Matador.
Again, the courageous Richard Corey.
American Torero from South Carolina.
Mano a mano against Jose Avila.
And the six massive bulls from Golden Drina six.
Now, the tickets are two dollars in the shade.
Dollar 20.
If it's sunny, it's a shady two dollars.
Sunny buck 20.
OK.
And military discounts available.
And that's to watch actual matadors.
Huh?
That's to watch actual bullfighting and Juarez there.
watch actual bullfighting and war as there and also if you want to celebrate the bullfighting you can do that with from what this ad says safe and sane red devil fireworks safe and sane they're
great that sounds like boring fireworks sold by charitable organizations everywhere they're not
they're dangerous as fuck they're just it's just the 60s or it's just 1970s
so it's okay for shit to be dangerous uh yeah it's uh sold by charitable organizations everywhere
the fourth happens once a year make the most of it fill the night with crackling whirring whizzing
sounds and colors and shapes of fireworks magic they uh they're offering the Old Glory, which we know about from our fireworks excursions.
It's the same thing.
Look, let's watch.
The Star Spangled Salute.
That's a mortar thing.
That's it right there.
That's our stuff.
$1.50.
Wow!
$4.95 for Old Glory.
Spectacular lawn display is one here.
Spectacular.
So it's got to be pretty good, I imagine.
The spectacular lawn display, $24.95.
It seems like a pretty good deal.
That's a great deal.
Fireworks are so fucking expensive.
They're expensive, as we found out this Fourth of July when we went to Pennsylvania and bought them.
It was crazy.
It was a lot.
We were like, this is nuts.
Like $250 for a thing.
We're like, this is nuts. It's like $250 for a thing. We're like, holy shit.
And then they were like, yeah, but if you buy this much, then it's basically free.
Yeah.
You're right.
Yeah, let's get more then.
And then we went and got more.
We just got more.
They're like, well, it's less money if you buy more.
We're morons.
Who would buy just this then?
Just give me more.
Yeah, give me more.
Open the trunk.
Here we go.
Give me more opportunity to kill myself i still have i still have those two we can go yeah we can go
play with them yeah i can't wait they're still here good shit so 1972 life begins to kind of
pass israel by a little bit in bad ways uh his business ventures are all falling apart everything
he's trying to do. He tried to open
a sporting goods store. He tried to do
different shit that
ex-athletes do. I'm sure there was a car wash
involved in this at some point via
Lenny Dykstra. I don't know.
There's something going on. Everything fell apart.
His marriage started to fail.
Him and Taz
end up breaking up.
They never get officially divorced but they are
estranged for a while now by 1972 his wife has left him he's got no businesses he's flat broke
and he's got no career or nothing going for him whatsoever he's pretty fucked basically here he
said that he's been pampered since grade school as an athlete because he's always been a top tier athlete and he said quote I thought
I could play it forever and
I didn't though he
yeah he
you know he said quote the
Rolls Royce the tailored suits the
flair of monetary stability
wants to stay with you when it's not
there you go out of bounds and beyond
your means I was not in charge
the Rolls Royce he had a charge. The Rolls Royce.
He had a mansion in a Rolls Royce in fur coats.
And I mean, he was living like he was.
His wife had money, too.
On 13th house of the year.
Yeah.
He was making a little more than that later.
But his wife, still, he was well beyond his means.
He was doing this.
This was all based on future earnings that ran out and dried up.
Would you ever buy a Rolls Royce, James?
Like, I'd have to have.
I'd have to have a lot of money.
I wouldn't even notice it.
That's what I mean.
It would have to be a silly amount of money
where I'm like, yeah, who cares?
Otherwise, it's a crazy thing to do.
It's a very stupid thing to do.
If you retire from the NFL
and you're like Eli Manning or something,
you have like $140 million in the bank
because you're a dork and you don't do anything with it,
like, fine, go buy yourself a Rolls Royce.
You're good for the rest of your life.
You're good.
But if you're in the middle of something
and banking on future things,
let's chill out on a Rolls Royce maybe.
If you're not buying that car cash,
if you're actually paying a payment on a Rolls Royce,
don't buy a Rolls Royce.
Don't buy a Rolls Royce yeah exactly
you should just be able to just dump some cash on that so yeah he said he was not prepared here
he did figure out some way to do this though to maintain this lifestyle he said the Rolls Royce
and the tailored suits because he's still wearing this stuff and still buying this stuff and the one
skill he figured out was he learned how to cash a check
without proper credentials.
Oh, no.
So he learned how to do a little bit of check fraud
here and there.
That's how he's maintaining his lifestyle.
So much so that in 1972,
he is arrested for falsely trying to obtain bank loans
in the state of California.
And he is sent to prison for you sir
may fuck off 18 months in prison for this oh my a year and a half on fucking check fraud
on some check for i was a bunch of shit he was really cranking it out that's a lot this becomes
his skill he'll be arrested from seattle to copenhagen on this on these charges he'll be arrested about 25 times
over the next 15 years or so and uh in every state and all not in every state but all over
in other countries everywhere posing he's in posing as different people and we'll find out who
uh yeah because he's a big guy who comes across as somebody. So they buy it when he it's all about confidence for him.
Like he said earlier in football, remember, he's like, it's all about confidence.
And I'm doing that.
That's for not only on the field.
He learns that off the field to June 15th, 1975.
He is in jail.
He got just recently got arrested again for another little scam.
He was doing a forgery and
possession of stolen property and grand theft he was just arrested for by the way now he's also
going by robert peoples he's got a new name now yeah there's an article in the paper who says
robert peoples uh who claims to be claims his name is israel lang blah blah blah and then they just
call him peoples for the rest of the article i I'm like, no, that's him.
Robert Peoples is his new name, his check cash and scamming name.
He ends up being transferred to Los Angeles, whether he's wanted for more things.
And what he does is he he's transferred after he escapes the North Lake Tahoe lockup, which is where he originally is.
He escapes. He runs away, which is where he originally is. He escapes.
He runs away, which is fucking amazing.
The sheriff, William A. Scott, said he was arrested on the federal warrant in North Lake Tahoe, and he offered no resistance.
They cuffed him.
They took him to jail.
He didn't say anything.
He was all good.
And he was just calm, nice guy to everybody, personable.
And then in the morning morning he's allowed to
make a collect phone call not his one phone call he asked can i call frank gifford which if you're
young you don't know who frank gifford is frank gifford was first of all well before all my time
definitely me and jimmy's time a star running back for the new york giants but then he became the monday night football guy for
like 25 years and he was kathy lee gifford's husband who was on with regis philbin every
morning so very famous man and he was a an anal uh yeah come take my temperature yeah he needed it
he loved it he liked a very accurate temperature reading.
I'll put it that way.
He didn't like anything being taken a chance here.
And not from his wife, because she is too stuffy for that.
Yeah.
You couldn't get it up her ass with a fucking hammer.
Couldn't get it up her ass with a tooth pick.
With a fucking mallet.
Jesus.
That's a tight ass lady.
Frigid woman.
So, yeah, he said, can I call frank gifford do you guys mind i'll
make it a collect it's cool uh he was at the time you know abc sportscaster he was like doing monday
night football with howard cosell yeah he's a big deal oh with cosell it was cosell and frank
gifford and who was the third guy at this moment was it meredith still because meredith came and
went i can't fucking remember like merlin olsen came in for a minute there was a bunch of different guys
but gifford and cosell were there for a long time as the as the guys so him and michaels for a
little while too yeah yeah that was like the what late 80s early 90s that was right before the
prostitute thing yeah right before all that then he started to go senile and shit so they're like we'll just put him over there so he says gonna make a collect call to my uh my bestie frankie gifts over here
real quick and they were like i mean like he's calling frank gifford holy shit yeah no go it's
like a small place they're like yeah no call frank i mean yeah if you gotta call for i get it you know
you gotta return frank gifford's call you gotta do it i get the same thing all the time you know
so johnny unitas calls me i gotta give him a call back or else he
gets real pissy with me so it's cool so don't get me started never mind it when will chamberlain's
trying to get a hold of me it's just i'm like will come on aren't you busy fucking thousands
of women i'm i'm i got a lot happening here Oftentimes, it sounds like he's jerking off, but I know that he's just pounding away on something.
He just doesn't have a lot of time to not pound.
So when you're talking to him, obviously, he's doing that, too.
That's how the Panthers got their keep pounding anthem.
It was from a Wilt Chamberlain phone call between them.
It works, man.
You know it.
you know it so the this call was either not completed or not accepted or he just pretended to call frank gifford because probably that that's the one either one but the newspaper
speculated the call was either not completed or it was not accepted and i'm like um so the sheriff
said he hung up the phone and as he hung the phone, what was happening was the door to outside had just been open to let some jail trustees out to do some work.
So he just bolted through the fucking open door.
He was on the phone.
He must have saw the trustees were about getting ready to leave to do their shit.
They're getting ready to go outside.
So he's like, hey, can I use the phone?
Gets on the phone.
And just as they go out, he hangs up the phone and bolts so that's his his plan uh he takes off and this is with the
whole police department chasing after him on foot he did this under the cover of night and nobody
knows he's going oh no i'll see it he does it in the guy's he was using the guy's phone that was
at the fucking desk right there i mean there, there's a cop afoot from him.
There's other cops letting the trustees out.
There's they're in the middle of the office. Like this isn't even a there's nothing fucking like under the radar about this.
This isn't an Ocean's 11 thing.
This is just no broad daylight run.
I think I can outrun these cops is what he said.
So he takes off and he does outrun them.
He sprints about 100 yards in nine seconds, like 9.9 across.
We know how fast he does that across the eastbound lanes of the I-80 interstate.
Holy shit.
So he takes off through the fucking desert and into the across the interstate with a bunch of I'm i'm sure pot-bellied 1975 south lake tahoe deputies chasing after him they're fucking had to put their ham sandwich
down for five minutes to chase this fucking guy and he flags down a car he this is how much
distance he has on these fucking cops by the way like they've had to put in a physical education
like program in this police department after this he's so fucking far ahead of them from 100 yards.
He made so much space that the car he flagged down, driven by a guy named Hal O'Leary, didn't even fucking notice the cops chasing him.
That's how fucking far away they were.
He didn't even see the distance between him and the unagent
uncat like officers that there was and this isn't even he didn't just he didn't carjack the guy he
didn't he stopped and talked to the guy yeah i got a car that's broken down about a mile flagged him
down and he said i have an emergency i have to get to sacramento because there's an emergency
and my car broke down.
And, you know, this is crazy.
And my wife's sick in the hospital and I have to get there.
And this happened and blah, blah, blah.
This guy had a story, had time enough to tell him all this shit.
Think about how long I've been walking for days.
I got an emergency in Sacramento.
There's my wife.
She's sick and I really got to get there. My car broke down over there.
You know how fucking much distance you can run in between that's how far
away these people are they have like a four minute fucking hundred yard dash these guys
what are they did their belts fall off and they had to stop and pick them up one guy stepped on
a rake and it came up and hit him in the face like what kind of keystone operation do we have going
on here what the fuck is wrong with these fat fucks?
Did he tie all their shoes and knots together before he ran?
And they all went like dominoes and fell down.
I don't know what happened, but this guy, this O'Leary, Hal O'Leary, had his wife and two kids in the car and was like, hop in, buddy.
We're going that direction.
So is he just gets in the fucking car and drives off.
That's awesome. He hops in the
fucking backseat with the kids, and there he is.
He's going away. The cops
were close enough
apparently to get a description of
the car, not a plate number. That's how far
away they still were, but they got a description
of the 1956 Mercedes,
and it was broadcast through the
California Highway Patrol
and about 15 minutes later,
or 15 miles later,
they stopped him on the highway
and he was taken back into custody
by the Highway Patrol.
Imagine old Hal's reaction to that shit.
Yeah.
Huh?
What happened now?
He seemed like such a nice fella.
He had an emergency.
I told you not to pick people up.
God damn it.
Jesus Christ, Hal. You put him with our children, you asshole. he had an emergency i told you not to pick people up god damn it jesus christ how how
with our children you asshole i just love they get pulled over and it's the cop comes up to the
window and it's like hallow leary and his fucking his like middle america white wife and his two
little white kids and then big old afro dizzy lang sitting in the back seat 240 pounds sitting back there going i'm one of the
kids it's fine they had they just adopted me it's great casual i look way older than my age i'm
really only 12 and i'm a nor i'm gonna be huge when i grow up i'm gonna be like seven foot five
look at me i'm enormous don't mind the gray in my beard it's fine stunned by this this is fucking crazy so they don't just
when i said they did that as it pulled him over but they pull the car over when the cops pull
the car over he fucking gets out and takes back off again yeah he just doesn't he doesn't wait
so he does that and repeats it goes back across the lanes again trying to flag down another car
he's just running yeah going the other direction trying to flag down another car he's just running yeah
going the other direction tries to flag down another car however this time the cops he wasn't
far away enough and he had to stop to not get hit by a car so the cops were able to catch up to him
and tackle him into a ditch fucking all pile on top of him and subdue him what a scene because at this point he's six two 258 pounds
and you know he's an nfl running back so he's got some power and uh yeah they tackle him they have
to take him to the hospital because he says his head he has a head injury and uh they're like
yeah that's from football don't worry about it that wasn't for today turns out he's fine they
bring him back in he is a escape is one of his charges and they also add
kidnapping to the charge oh the complaint of the family um yeah so that is uh pretty fucked up but
they end up making a deal with him to plead guilty to the misdemeanor escape charge and they drop the
kidnapping because the family was voluntarily he didn't threaten them or anything or any shit like that.
It's more just lied to them.
It's not really kidnapping.
It's just more being kind of a dick.
So, yeah, he pleads guilty to that.
And he's being held at the jail and then taken down to Los Angeles County after that, where he has warrants involving grand theft and forgery down there as well.
So he's got to go there.
He was captured near Roseville after he escaped.
So there's that goes back to LA and,
uh,
there he is fucking amazing that he's doing all this shit.
This is wild.
He's returned by two detectives there to face forgery,
grand theft,
stolen property charges.
And,
uh,
you know,
he does all that.
Somehow he's at a jail by 76. he does all that somehow he's out of jail
by 76 i don't know how he's out of jail but he's out of jail and living in canada okay which is the
they accept him in vancouver he's living which is the geographical opposite north america wise
of florida it's just you can't get any farther away from it he has met a new woman who they're
not legally married because he's still married to taz but she
took his last name and going as his common law wife this is patty they have two children wow
during this period um yeah they have two children they moved to vancouver and izzy works at this is
like a mad lib is he works at where j Jimmy? Fill it in. Grease Monkey.
A ski resort.
Same thing.
Mad Lib.
Complete just, and he works at a ski resort.
It's a ski resort.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Fucking ridiculous.
So, yeah, he works at a ski resort up there.
And I guess things are going, he he's working he's not being arrested he's got his
with his wife and her sort of wife and his new children so that's good i guess everything's going
semi reasonably well uh that is until april of 1977 oh no when um taz at this point's been doing
very well for herself by the way taz isaz was a spokeswoman for Patio Soda.
Do you know what Patio is?
No.
Ever heard of it?
Patio is Diet Pepsi.
It's Diet Pepsi before they called it Diet Pepsi.
It's actually Diet Pepsi, though.
It's Diet Pepsi, yeah.
It was Diet Right had come out, and then Pepsi made Patio as their Diet Cola to rival Diet Right.
And so they had all these different – they also marketed it as a soda for diabetics because it's sugar-free.
That's what it was.
They released orange, grape, and root beer flavors in Patio.
And so, yeah, they ended up doing that.
The Patio thing you might recognize if you ever watched mad men
did you watch mad men i didn't uh mad men they do there's a three episode arc of them trying to make
commercials for patio which is that where they made the commercial with like an ann margaret
look-alike that does the bye-bye birdie thing it was a i don't know they did a riff on that so
uh yeah anyway they do all that taz is doing very well for herself. Not only that, she has moved on.
Not Taz, Patty.
No, no, Taz.
Taz, the ex-wife we're talking about.
She's doing her thing.
We left them in Vancouver, Izzy and Patty.
Now we're with Taz.
Taz has been doing that.
She's also been all over the music industry,
managing people, working for different people.
The Jackson 5, they love her, all these different people.
There's pictures with her with all these different stars from back then.
She ends up becoming both the live-in girlfriend
and manager of Teddy Pendergrass when Teddy Pendergrass goes solo.
If you don't know who Teddy Pendergrass is,
first of all, fucking shame on you hey shame
shame shame shame yeah um because i don't give a fuck it's before my time too it's good music
and you should know it doesn't fucking matter except for your parents but jesus christ that's
what i'm saying teddy pendergrass was such a he was cool as fuck he's a he was the guy in the 70s he had like the huge fur coats and the big
like the style and uh his voice was strong and he'd sing with that strong voice remember in
delirious eddie murphy his teddy pentagrass be be scaring women into fucking him they
they scare women into liking him he goes you got you got you got what i need and they're just like
damn i'll just fuck i guess i take my pant panties off now. So Teddy be scaring women into liking him.
But Teddy is just a cool son of a bitch.
And he is the lead singer of Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes for years, which if you don't know them, then you'll never, never, never, never know them.
That's what that is.
That's their song.
If you don't know me by now.
Anyway, so that's their fucking song.
And they had a lot of big hits.
But they in 75, I believe he goes solo.
And part of that is everybody said because of Taz, they hook up in 74.
And by 75, he is going solo and doing his own thing.
And he sells platinum albums and ends up doing wonderfully for himself here.
By then, she they started dating in 74 by 76 he'd moved into her house she has a big giant beautiful house that he moves into with izzy jr and uh and taz um and she became his manager
slash girlfriend he's you know she's cut in on profits and shit like that for all this stuff
here um she's very very popular among celebrities like we said people always come to visit her all
these famous musicians come to see her when she's in town jackson five all these different people
are always there um one night here uh teddy was about to fly out for a few gigs and he had to go do his shit.
So they parted company and she was to be driven back to her house with her son by one of his stage directors here.
This guy, Jojo. Right. So when she gets to her house, she gets out of the car and Jojo goes to get something.
One of her things out of the trunk, and she's up on the porch,
and the son is, I think, just about to go into the house,
and she is shot.
One gunshot rings out from about a 15-foot distance.
Apparently somebody was hiding in the bushes this whole time,
and JoJo didn't see who it was, the stage manager.
She shot in the arm. It goes through her arm into her chest and
punctures her heart and she dies right there on the steps i mean she's she's dead before they even
like get to her it just completely almost instant type of thing um yeah it's fucking horrible um
absolutely uh fucking tragedy right on the doorstep uh with her son right there and everything else
uh the suspect fled
they never catch up to him they couldn't catch him she's pronounced dead at 11 42 p.m
uh they questioned the the stage manager the jojo guy and uh he told him what he knew he said i
dropped went to drop her off i go in the trunk i heard a gunshot and look over and some guys
running away that's all i saw sure um yeah i mean so uh teddy and
we'll go over what her day was like teddy pendergrass and his book talks about it a lot
uh as far he said this was like a huge huge thing for him and this was the love of his life and all
that he says quote tad uh taz was tending to business but got back to philly in time to say
goodbye before i left we promised to talk the next day.
As the rest of the entourage checked into the hotel,
a desk clerk said,
Mr. Pendergrass, you have an urgent message from Philadelphia.
I dialed the number and was informed that Taz had been murdered.
I was in shock.
So he said, apparently the night before,
Taz and Jojo Tynes, an employee of mine,
drove my Mercedes to her home.
JoJo was getting something out of the trunk, and Taz was getting out her keys to open the front door when someone emerged from the bushes and shot her execution style, which not really.
They just shot her in the arm from 15 feet away.
But they were hiding in a bush.
That's sort of execution-y.
And it's a big gun to go through the arm and into the chest cavity to hit the heart.
Like, that's a big— Large caliber. She's a big gun to go through the arm and into the chest cavity to hit the heart like that's a large caliber she's a very small person too there wasn't a lot of meat to go
through in the arm she's a she's a real dainty she's a petite uh lady you know uh the bullet
passed through her arm and pierced her heart she died almost instantly i've never gotten over her
murder he says and this was years and years later uh This was, I believe, the late 90s. He wrote the book. So this was April 14th, 1977.
She was in New York on business doing some last minute details for Pendergrass's upcoming tour and all of that.
They had been dating for a while.
She broke it off and then continued it and then broke it off.
And they went back and forth for a while
here uh there she returned from new york that night they met on the tour bus and they were
together at this point that she ended up deciding not to travel with the tour bus and called her
mother uh to say that she'd be home soon she said i've got something to tell you but i can't tell
you until what it is until i get there that's what she told her mom and then she never got to hear what it was because she arrived
yeah the next time the daughter saw her was in her dead on the front doorstep when she opened
it after she heard a gunshot um so yeah they said the uh this was 11 30 p.m this happened
they approached the front door one bullet from about 15 feet away through her left arm entered her chest, killed her.
They said they'd been hiding in the shrubs near the doorway.
And yeah, Izzy Jr. was there.
The whole thing.
So now the one of the investigators said, quote, if someone was sent to kill her, it wasn't a real professional job.
If the bullet doesn't go through her arm, all she has is a serious arm injury.
But anything's possible, and I wouldn't be surprised if someone had been sent out there to scare her.
Now, there's a lot of theories here because there was some contract issues with Teddy Pendergrass.
Okay.
And some weird shit going on in the 70s, obviously.
So they had the funeral.
Tons of people were there famous people uh somebody said
taz commanded her surroundings just her presence demanded attention she was a beautiful person
inside and out uh church people were there everybody was there for for her uh everybody
liked her uh they people were jimmy connors was a pallbearer the tennis player really jimmy connors the famous
tennis player uh marjorie wallace the former miss world uh was there i guess jimmy connors is her
boyfriend they were there uh all sorts of fucking people kenny gamble leon huff uh the philadelphia
record moguls a host of former philadelphia e Eagles and players and players wives who knew Taz through Izzy quote.
We found that she had many had a lot of friends, but we couldn't find one enemy.
That's the that's the homicide detective leading it.
And they work everything for several months and then it just all dries up.
There's no leads on it.
Yeah, she managed Teddy Pendergrass was a sunday school teacher was a model fucking
you know also uh very close friends with dionne warwick uh apparently and uh also uh nancy wilson
which is fucking hilarious yeah it was a weird combinations but yeah anyway uh at her her eulogy
was delivered by jesse jackson as well at her funeral. She's a big deal.
Her dying was a big fucking deal.
And then they
they don't they offer a reward.
Five years later, they offer a twenty five
hundred dollar reward. Five years
later, that's what the police
offer up there. They said there's no doubting
that someone out there knows who killed her.
Well, no shit. Yeah, someone out there killed
her. Maybe the reward the reward will give someone the impetus
to come forward with information.
So the case keeps stalling,
and the reason the lead detective said it keeps stalling
is the police got what he called
minimal cooperation from the record industry.
They couldn't get much from the record industry.
Same thing with Biggie and Tupac.
They couldn't get anything because they couldn't get anybody to fucking help. They couldn't get Puffy or record industry. Same thing with Biggie and Tupac. They couldn't get anything because they couldn't get anybody to
fucking help. They couldn't get Puffy or Sugar
or anybody to fucking talk about it. Anybody that
was there. So they said
the forces behind Philadelphia International
Records did not return telephone calls
made by the press asking about why
they didn't give better information
and the police
they're trying to figure out who would want to
kill her.
You know, that's the deal here.
Who the fuck would want to kill her?
They knew her.
They considered her, you know, she was a powerful personality,
had her own business things going on.
She had a beauty shop as well that she owned.
She had all sorts of shit popping off, so they're like, you know,
what was up with that?
One of the detectives said she didn't really like the entertainment business,
but she was looking to get out of hairdressing.
She went onto the tour bus for the first and last time before her death.
And,
she came back and said she had seen stuff going on.
She couldn't believe she said she would never said she'd never go again.
She was looking to get out of the business. So they're saying that they identified some stuff where she wasn't happy with her arrangement with Teddy or some shit beforehand, but they can't figure out if it's enough to look down that alley.
It's sort of.
Yeah, I got it.
It's really fucking strange.
So her mother talks about it and said, we were so close.
And, you know, she said, we were so close.
And she said, it's just ridiculous.
And Taz was a good mother to Izzy Jr.
And I can't walk in that door without thinking about it because that's where she was, right by the door.
Well, yeah, I would have definitely moved out of that fucking house.
So it affected Izzy a lot, too.
Well, yeah, it's his mom.
No, no, it was his ex-wife.
Okay, yeah.
But apparently he was still always in love with her and shit, from what everybody said.
So his brother Alfred said, quote, this was the critical point in his life which caused him to go off the normal beaten path.
This is when he starts going into crazy time.
Izzy says that the police didn't care about the murder, but they were chasing me for writing checks that was his thing which those are two very separate issues and you can do we can walk and chew gum at the same time also they're different police departments so yeah
yeah the homicide cops aren't being pulled off the murder investigation to look into your check
caching that's the difference so harold in holden are not are not writing tickets in
traffic either no shit so they're uh is he is uh his new wife i guess his his whole kind of
personality fell apart she ends up leaving him patty lang they have two sons and they go and
resettle in oakhurst california
so everybody leaves and he's now stuck you know trying to make his way 1979 his nephew alvis is
playing for the uh william and mary college yeah and uh they're he's he's like a big star at this
moment in time so they're talking about how he's uh you know
his idol was his uncle and that you know he wouldn't have done this without his uncle and
he said that he's his inspiration he even wears the same uniform number as him and he said he's
the first uh first fam first person in their family to do anything big and to do anything
like this and so he looks up to him so much and uh
yeah he said he's really excited and all that kind of shit so 1981 comes around september 17th 1981
is he is charged with loan fraud again yeah he pleads guilty to making false statements when
applying for five bank loans totaling more than 2626,500, which is a good amount in 19...
When he did it, it was 77 and 78 he was doing this.
And he did it...
He did it under the name of Robert Peoples,
and he did some under his own.
He says, quote,
I did actually borrow the money,
but if they would have investigated the loans,
I wouldn't be here today.
It's their fault.
They gave it to me, though. That's the thing. They didn't find my here today it's their fault they gave it to me
though that's the thing my lies yeah i lied they didn't look into it and then they gave me the
money so you're bad i mean what the fuck fool me once you know what i'm saying like get your
shit together the law is uh such that you can't do that. Yeah, that's kind of not how that works.
But that's that's what he tried to say in court.
That's that was his defense.
He told that to a judge that looked a judge square in the eye and said that.
So that's pretty funny.
He ends up pleading guilty to five counts of bank fraud and fakes is a maximum of 10 years in jail or a twenty five thousand dollar fine.
He had these are applications from Seattle First National and Rainier Banks in 77 and 78.
He says, and this is the big thing of why he was doing this.
This wasn't for fur coats and Rolls Royces and fancy shit.
He said he applied for the loans to set up a shop to produce job resumes to help people do this was
his business that he was making and at the same time this business would double as a search for
his wife's killer oh my god okay he's a 60s running back yeah who's estranged but still legally married wife was found brutally murdered on her own doorstep yeah
and then he spends his the rest of his time quote looking for the true killer who is he sounding
like right now not a lot like oj at all he's living up to what he said he said i want to be
like oj and sir you're exactly like oj this is amazing a lot of the same
things that is fucking wild so yeah that's what he said he goes i only did it to set up shop to
find my wife's real killer this is ridiculous all right uh wow that's fucking insane man so 1982
that's when the the reward comes out foraz's murder. And this is when several conspiracy theories come out kind of around Teddy Pendergrass, some from him, some about him.
It's interesting.
Several months after she was murdered, he admitted that he received threats that the same thing would happen to him later on.
So, yeah, if you don't do this, this is what happened to your girlfriend's so yeah that if you don't do this this is what happened to your
girlfriend's gonna happen to you so then and this is a far-fetched conspiracy theory here
uh in 1982 he crashed his rolls royce into a tree leaving him paralyzed from the chip the chest down
that happened absolutely everybody's got a rolls royce is what's wild to me it's a popular ride
that's great yeah good for fucking famous people in 1980 you just buy a rolls royce is what's wild to me it's a popular ride that's great yeah good for
fucking famous people in 1980 you just buy a rolls royce get paralyzed though yeah but now
rolls royce is like you know i don't even know what a fucking rolls royce costs i've never gone
rolls shopping so they're 200 250 000 maybe probably i'll bet they have an affordable one
like every other fucking fantasy uh fantasy i-Royce would probably not do that.
That's why they're Rolls-Royce, because they don't have the affordable one.
They don't have the fucking two-series Beamer that's shittier than a Corolla.
That's worse than a Honda Civic.
Maserati even makes a $40,000 car.
Yeah, yeah.
They exist.
And it looks like a fucking Hyundai.
And its fucking transmission goes out after 35,000 miles.
The car is not
it's not a maserati it's a maserati they're fiat yeah maserati's fiat are they yeah fiat owns them
that makes sense yeah well fiat owns all the shit they got like that and i dodge i think
jeep they're all dodge owns fiat yeah becauseerati, I was talking to my brother about this, and he was saying in his Dodge truck, they have the same buttons and dials and shit as a Maserati.
They just use them on the same ones because they're cheap.
Brand new Jeeps.
It's all built by Fiat.
Jeep.
So the rumors circulated that his brakes were tampered with, causing him to lose control of the car.
Oh, my God.
That's what they said.
They said beforehand,
Teddy liked to hang out at his house.
He hung out with Taz,
and his mom made them food and shit like that.
They said, but after Taz was murdered,
he was more out and about and doing shit.
He hooked up with a Los Angeles Rams cheerleader
named Edie Roberts and all this type of shit.
And they say that he had a lot of enemies,
and you never know, might have cut the break.
So it might be the same person trying to kill both of them,
which sounds ridiculous.
Is Teddy paralyzed forever?
I think he came out of it.
I don't remember.
Because he was still making music and shit.
Yeah, that's unbelievable.
I've never even heard of this.
Chest down, he could still do that.
I guess he could have rolled into something.
Stevie Wonder's fucking blind and plays the piano,
so I'll believe anything.
And grab the mic stand when it falls magically.
Yeah.
Weird.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Again, the old Eddie Murphy thing.
Yeah.
First of all, I love that.
You want to impress me, motherfucker, take the wheel.
That's a great line.
And the motherfucker, somebody waved at him and he waved back
stevie what are you doing what's happening here come on stevie he might just be so intuitive that
he knows when someone's gonna wave because it's happened so much that he's like after this
in uh in a road trip where the guy's like waving his hands in front of her and she flips them off
yeah yeah exactly uh then there's the theory that teddy
had it done okay that is uh apparently uh there's a theory that she he had signed a management
agreement with her that gave her a more of a cut than he was happy with apparently but at the time
he was so into her that he didn't care. And then when they started breaking up and making up and breaking up again, then he started caring after that, that she was taking too much money and all that kind of shit.
And so everybody said that not everybody.
This rumor says that she would not renegotiate or terminate the contract and was like, well, that's what you sign.
Fuck you.
I'm taking money.
And so there's a big rumor that teddy allegedly
obviously this didn't happen how's that better than allegedly but i mean it might have i don't
fucking know but uh the singer arranged to when he was leaving to have a mafia hitman murder them at
murder his girlfriend at gunpoint a mob hitman would have done that better first of all probably
and they would have fucking killed jojo first right jojo wouldn't be breathing no that would have been that and uh
there was they said that uh you know there was someone uh they said jojo was there and he didn't
say anything and he wouldn't say who he saw so that's proof that it was a mob thing yeah so or
he was just scared of the mafia so lack of lack of information means tons of
information from that one you can take so the mob one thing they don't like to leave is loose ends
and they don't they don't take a guy that's just a bodyguard and not trusted by the mob and leave
him existing if you're gonna do some dirty shit like that but if you hired somebody that wasn't
part of a like a real experienced crew or anything like that you hired some newcomer they didn't expect anybody to be
with her they pop out of a bush and they're like well fuck it no one told me to kill him pow i'm
shooting her and i'm running away because it wasn't a robbery nobody they were waiting in the bushes
so they had to know she was coming someone had to know when she was coming home uh nothing was
taken from her nothing was even attempted to be taken she was coming home. Nothing was taken from her.
Nothing was even attempted to be taken.
It was a shot and then off with a run.
So,
and also a mob guy would have shot more than once.
A mob guy would have shot twice in the arm as a mob.
They don't,
they don't,
that's not a,
that's what I mean.
This seems like winging somebody and dipping and taking the chance that they
die.
This is an inexperienced hit man and not a very good one.
Put it that way
i don't think and then there's the other theory that the shot was only meant to scare her and the
guy accidentally hit her that was the other thing that they said that somebody hired someone to
scare her into doing whatever for business to take a shot at her but not hit her and this
asshole happened to fucking just get a shooter by accident and hit her in the arm and kill her so
hurt in the chest and kill her so it's fucking crazy it is the whole investigation's crazy even crazier they've never
solved it it's an open case still never solved it the murder of tas lang is still a huge mystery in
in this whole in like the music industry it's fucking stunning it's crazy but not as crazy, Jimmy, as the sales.
These sales I found are not really sales.
These are shitty B movies that are playing in 1982 in Philadelphia somewhere.
Movies I probably never saw, right?
Oh, you've never seen these movies.
There's even one with Richard Pryor that I've never seen.
So it's like they've gotten the most terrible movies they can find. one is the duke theater there's the duke and the duchess and at the duke theater is penitentiary two is playing penitentiary one must have been a
huge success yeah i was gonna say that's a caged heat type of situation
then i don't know what the fuck this is at the duchess theater which is
the same address just one's the duke and one's the duchess i don't know why store i don't know
the same address they have on here uh a movie called cat people is playing i don't know if
they're fucking cats or if they're people dressed up like cats fucking each other people just like
cats fuck each other i don't know what that is on netflix today go on um then
at the regency 2 body and soul is playing plus vice squad after that is like a bonus for a two
for one of the theaters has richard pryor live on the sunset strip playing which is fucking great
that's cool um then there's a chuck norris movie silent Silent Rage. Silent Rage he's in.
Then there's some other weird fucking movies here.
There is, oh, this has to be like some porn stuff here.
What the fuck is this?
Jimmy's, what is that?
Jimmy something.
Is it Ladies Night?
Oh my God, Jimmy, you have to see this.
I got to turn this story.
Okay.
Jimmy's in a heart.
Every Thursday, ladies night, the ladies drinks and it's in parentheses quote on Jimmy.
It's for the kids, everybody.
It's for, it's on Jimmy.
Ladies drinks.
Ladies are on me.
On Jimmy.
I got all of these covered.
What do you think of that?
Ladies drinks. That. On Jimmy. I got all of these covered. What do you think of that? Ladies drink on Jimmy.
That means you have to sit on my face as you consume your drink.
But it's on me.
You see how that works?
Then there is Pure Magic featuring Marianne.
I don't know what that is.
I don't think there's any magic involved in it.
Proper dress required for that one, obviously.
Then there is Stingers, where it says energized,
and there is featuring Tuesday from England male dancer Carrie Gordon.
Okay.
The bar is called Stingers?
The bar is called Stingers.
And there's that.
And then there is the Central Park in Wayne, Pennsylvania, that has Robert Hazard and the
Heroes in concert.
Perfect.
Go see that, everybody.
Go see that.
Oh, and when you're done, go see Billy Chong in Kung Fu Zombie as well, which sounds great.
That sounds like Hollywood tired today.
Kung Fu Zombie? Kung Fu Zombie. How do you kill something that's already dead that's the tagline they're starring billy chong then there's
another one starring billy chong and carl scott who's this is the original shanghai knights over
here carl scott's a black guy and it says they're back kung fu executioner coming through and then finally richard pryor is in
some kind of hero have you ever seen this movie or ever even heard of it who's in it with him
um i don't even fucking know um some kind of here i read all about the movie but i don't remember
who's in it nobody no nobody big um here's what it says the army is doing it to him with uh in
the daytime his wife isn't doing it to him at night.
Richard Pryor keeps getting caught with his pants down.
That is fantastic.
Now, here's the picture of it with him with his pants down.
Oh, my God.
Is this the one where he's in the military?
This is the one where he's a POW.
It's not a comedy.
Yes, I've seen this.
It's so good.
It's not a comedy.
It's not supposed to be a comedy.
It's great.
They put Richard Pryor in it, and the studio wanted him to do some comedic bits.
That's why they're advertising it like this.
It's in silly writing, and he's got his pants around his ankles.
But it's not a comedy.
It's not.
And he didn't want to play it comedically either.
It's about a POW who is gone, fucking captured for more than 10 years, and comes home, and
his business is gone, and his wife has left him, and he has nothing.
than 10 years and comes home and his business is gone and his wife has left him and he has nothing he's at rock bottom so he turns to fucking crime to make a living and doesn't
care anymore it's like this is not a comedy i have seen it he's in the hole that they put him
in in because i think it's in uh vietnam yeah it's in some asian country uh yeah who i don't
know laos or cambodia yeah but he's like he's like yelling at him and they're yelling
at him they treat him like shit they beat the fuck out yeah no it's not a comedy but if you
look at this that looks like a comedy it does does it not it's guy walking around with his pants
around his ankles and with comic sans writing as his name give me a fucking break it's silly
and it's not that at all no not even close to that now 1988 here 1988 here. We go to 88.
He's got so many fucking problems right now.
At this point in time, he's been arrested 24 times in assorted American cities and doing all this type of shit.
He's got a lot of problems.
He's jailed in November of 88 for some fraud schemes.
He's been arrested for multiple fraud schemes impersonating doug williams
the former buccaneer and redskin quarterback uh super bowl champion randall cunningham he was
impersonating as well who was a eagles star and like a third year player at that point he was like
24 years old um and finally got arrested for trying to impersonate Joe Morris's father-in-law.
Giants running back Joe Morris.
His father-in-law.
His father-in-law, because he's 46, so he tried to do it that way at this moment.
He's arrested by the Hackensack Police in New Jersey after persuading United Jersey Bank to cash a stolen check by passing him off as Joe Morris's father-in-law here.
to cash a stolen check by passing him off as Joe Morris, his father-in-law here.
He was charged with several counts of forgery, passing a bad check,
and is remanded on $75,000 bail.
Warren Welsh, the NFL's director of security, said, quote, he has been a nemesis to the National Football League.
He's impersonated, as well as those guys, also Leonard Marshall and Lawrence Taylor as well.
He's been convicted at least eight times in charges that include forgery and bank fraud.
And they said that Lang cash stolen checks in Philadelphia by impersonating Randall Cunningham and also Harold Carmichael and a retired tight end.
Unbelievable.
Who's famously six foot eight, by the way.
So that's a dumb one to impersonate he's
just he's not a nemesis necessarily the nfl he's a nemesis to just uh financial institutions
worldwide but he's taking it out of these guys accounts he's stealing from these players he's
taking them out of their accounts the the welsh guy said quote he seems to have some personal
information about these players he seems to be the consummate con man.
He's been doing it for a long time now.
Police said Lang knew that Joe Morris had an account at United Jersey Bank in Hackensack
and called saying, I'm Joe Morris and I want to set up a new account for my father-in-law,
this guy named Israel Lang.
He's going to come in there.
I don't have time because I'm Joe Morris, obviously, of the Giants.
Don't you want to send Izzy down?
But I'm going to send him down.
Hook him up.
Put a bunch of my money in his account and set him up and get him going, okay?
Can you do that for me?
That won't be taught at all.
So he was notified, Morris, and complained to the league office.
And the problem is it worked the first time.
He's not arrested until the second time he tries to do it trying to pass a 950 check on morris's account
to himself so this is fucking amazing the bergen county assistant prosecutor said it was 997
this check uh he had a stolen driver's license with his photograph pasted on top of the picture as his identification.
I love this.
He took a picture of himself and just glued it on to a fucking license from 1989.
You can't do that anymore.
That's not 1965 now.
That is, it was pasted.
Oh, the guy just went, well, what's going on?
It comes right off.
That's not you.
That's awesome.
There's a picture underneath this, sir, that somebody else.
That is awesome. He's also
getting busted for car rental schemes. He's renting cars and just never
bringing them back. He said the most he ever made in pro football was $70,000.
So that's it. One year. That was his best year.
So he said he didn't do it. He gets a league pension because he played in the league for enough years to get a pension.
He played for six.
So he gets $270 a month at this point as his league pension.
And he just says that he has that sent to the jail for him.
He said he wants to save up that money while he's in jail so he can pay off the car rental firm in
virginia that way hopefully they'll drop the charges against him and he won't have to then
go to jail in virginia as well as new jersey that's his plan well since i'm in here they can
just keep that a plan the newspaper put it this way when he's in court quote in a booming voice
that filled the courtroom the imposing former athlete asked the judge whether failure to return a rented car was
a crime he prefaced this is amazing he prefaced his question question with a warning that his voice
although loud was not raised in anger he's just a loud guy he said i don't want to be in i don't
want to cross the line and be held in contempt excuse my loud voice but it's my not uh it's a non-contemptible voice i don't i'm not mad at you the judge told him that failure to
return a car was a crime in new jersey and uh also denied the the request for lower bail and all that
kind of shit and joe morris is like still pissed off about this because he's like i want this guy
in jail he's really fucking mad and all the players want this guy in jail because he seems to be a goddamn because he keeps
doing menace yeah it's he keeps doing it and the the the uh prosecutor said quote you're in you're
in giant territory here if someone calls and says i'm joe morris you're liable to bend the rules he
used the same name to open up doors. So, yeah, I'm busy.
I'm at the Giants training facility.
We got a game.
We're going on the road.
Can you help me out?
They'll do it for him.
They want his business.
Pretty awesome that he's doing that to rival teams.
That is pretty fucking funny.
This is pretty genius.
He said, Warren Welsh said his success rate has been rather high.
We've heard about his victories.
I don't know how many defeats he's had.
Well, at least 24 that we know of.
So, yeah, been arrested a lot.
Got arrested.
Also, like we said, Randall Cunningham, Carl Carmichael.
He moves around a lot.
He skips bail when he gets arrested on place and just moves to another state, does it all over again.
The Welsh said, quote, he doesn't stay in the same place very long but he
seems to have some personal information and like we said consummate con man um they said he figured
he had a good scam going he cashed a stolen check at one point for 375 dollars and um it was doing
all of that and uh the bank was ready when lang called again identifying himself as morris because
then it had been ready.
And that's when they had the police waiting there for him.
That's for the 900 something dollar check.
Police said Lang admitted passing stolen checks.
He just said he actually he said he acquired them at the Port Authority bus terminal for a dollar.
But he denied he denied impersonating Morris on the phone.
He goes, that wasn't me.
That was absolutely. I did go in with the checks phone he goes that wasn't me that was absolutely
i did go in with the checks afterwards but that wasn't me calling i don't know who that was
jesus maybe i don't know somebody he said uh yeah he's frequently and arrested um he was arrested
for the doug williams case who was the he was the mvp of the super bowl and he was fucking
you know impersonating him which was pretty ridiculous because everybody knew what he looked like because he was just MVP of the fucking Super Bowl a month before that.
But he skipped town on a $10,000 bail, and Welsh said it's been frustrating to everyone.
He gets arrested and gets out again.
It finally looks like he might be behind bars for a while.
might be behind behind bars for a while so yeah he's stuck in there uh you know trying to trying to ride it out trying to get charges dropped seeing if he can get people to drop drop charges
is what it is but i mean it's the bank also should have done a little more fucking homework on that
one think they would yeah they did an interview with him in jail and he said that you know he
tried he gave it a shot he says you know what
the fuck joe morris said this is a gross miscarriage of justice how he's been able to get out so many
times yeah fucking asshole he stole fucking 1200 bucks from me what a dick so uh yeah he said my
father-in-law this is the best thing too morris also says quote my father-in-law's white and he's in dayton ohio he's not my father-in-law that guy nothing like him so that's pretty fucking hilarious
i gotta say so he's in jail while in jail like i said he's interviewed they said at this point
his hair is receding he's got a lot of gray in his beard big beard and all this
type of shit still muscular big you know physically imposing guy and uh he says to the guy quote this
i love the quote from the reporter and when he spoke i was sure he was mad as a hatter that's
what the guy said this is his quote sure i've cashed checks for 300 500 600 but never for more
than 1500 sometimes i knew i didn't have the money to cover them they said well why'd you do it and Sure, I've cashed checks for $300, $500, $600, but never for more than $1,500.
Sometimes I knew I didn't have the money to cover them.
They said, well, why'd you do it?
And he said, well, quote, I'm looking for the murderer of my wife.
She was killed in 1972, which 1977 she was killed, not 1972.
He got the year wrong.
She was standing on the steps of my house in Philly with my eight-year-old son.
He's now 21 and still lives in that house my wife was shot she was shot because she was in the
entertainment business she was an agent representing big stars in the entertainment world she was killed
by rival agents who wanted to represent them the police put the murder in the frivolous category
they harassed me for cashing a few checks and they don't go after my wife's murderer that's what he said
unreal so they were like okay
that's all great did you pretend to be Joe Morris
because that's more pertinent to what we're talking about
now and he said no
yeah of course not Jesus
what are you kidding me he said quote I bought
the check I cashed for the dollar for a dollar
at the Port Authority Terminal the man
I bought it from owed me some
money so I bought the check from him for a dollar
and brought it to the bank.
There was just no money to cover it.
And they go, he goes, that's kind of hard to believe.
And he says, I was in prison for 18 months
for giving false information on a loan application
to the Small Business Administration.
To the Small Business Administration.
That's like a federal thing.
These are federal fucking, like federal grants he's trying
to fucking forging business you can't do that he said that he's had some misunderstandings
he said i didn't know when i filled out the application he said i own six sporting good
stores i didn't realize that all the sporting good stores had gone out of business
i thought i was good i put down collateral six sporting goods stores i forgot they went out of
business i didn't know they were gone i plumb forgot all my six stores closed super weird i
was headed over there right now to do an inventory on it too and i'm glad i didn't go shit i'd like
to put up these uh six oshmans please that fucking amazing. That's an amazing quote.
I didn't realize all the stores had gone out of business,
but I own them.
I showed up and was like...
I wasn't accepting paychecks for them any longer.
Door was locked.
Looking in, no shit in there.
I'm like, what's going on?
He then says, and this is really what it is,
and I think this is the name of the show,
is impossible to conform.
Quote, it's impossible for me to conform i form i don't conform that's what he says
shape-shifting son of a bitch that is fucking amazing that's impossible to conform is going
to be the name of this episode i form i don't conform so he says that all he's trying to do is catch his wife's killer and it's ridiculous that
there's all these obstacles being put in his way and if they cops have done their job and to begin
with he wouldn't have to go all over the country fucking putting out bad checks to try to write
this wrong right he says that he explains that there's run-ins with the law are a part of a conspiracy to stop him
from finding out the truth of his taz's killer wow that's what he says a concerted effort between
multiple law enforcement agencies to to stop him from finding the real killer absolutely he said
this is ridiculous then he shifts then he shifts the conversation to god uh but he doesn't say what
religion he believes in but he's got a lot of theories and shit god uh but he doesn't say what religion he believes in
but he's got a lot of theories and shit about god but he's not really into religion which that's
he's spiritual there you go he says when he gets out of jail he wants to write songs professionally
because that's something you start when you're 50 you just start writing songs commercial jingles
or like actual no no songs songs ballads yeah rock ballads i think maybe like a country anthem possibly you don't
know he says that he's already written three songs and uh yeah he his titles are uh make a
statement is the name of one of his songs nature's soil is another one of his songs so i think is the
name of a weed company now possibly if i'm not mistaken if they sell at dispensaries and then form and force is
another one that's these are the i don't know these are the songs he's written all of his letters
that he writes he writes them in calligraphy really he's a fucking weird guy that's just all
there is to it he writes all of his letters all of his correspondence is done in calligraphy
is it calligraphist is that what that is a calligrapher i believe but i like calligraphist better that's even better i do too i like that so
much better that's you just coined that number we're going with that from now on he uh he says
he tries to watch a football game on television but uh you know he said he can't he can't do it
he can't get into football he says quote, quote, I have become dogmatic.
I have plans.
Yesterday is gone.
He's got dogma.
He's got a dogma to him.
In court, his defense lawyer, in trying to defend him on all these charges, actually said the words, quote, what caused him to go down to this?
quote what caused him to go down to this better put once he's in the lockup much better put by adam the arugula connoisseur pac-man jones yeah who arrives and says something very similar he
says how is it you've come to arrive here i don't i don't you seem like an upstand they killed your
wife darn it i mean this is the music industry, the police. It's a conspiracy, obviously, of the most epic and greatest proportions. I'm disgusted by everything that's going on here. Asinine, number one. Number two, I mean, Joe Morris. I mean, that's a common name. You could be Joe Morris. We don't know. I don't think there's a lot of them.
The benefit of the doubt here has not been put in your favor is what I'm saying.
I think there's a bit of it.
I think possibly your affiliation with Robert Kennedy in the 60s started this.
There's a lot of things going on.
I feel like possibly the conservative movement is trying to fight the Kennedys.
I believe Ted is trying to pass a bill in the Senate at this moment.
I'm not positive. But either way, you fucked your life up, sir.
And you don't deserve this.
And I got to go now.
And poof.
And a poof of airport chicken and arugula.
He's gone.
And an F-bomb for the first time from that guy.
Yeah, well, he's very upset this time.
He is so mad.
And Israel is like, see, I told you.
Where did he go?
Can you tell the cops?
Fuck.
I wanted them to tell the cops that shit. Now, in court for the Joe Morris, I'm his father-in-law shit.
This is amazing.
He is acquitted of the charges.
How the fuck is he acquitted of these charges?
That's incredible.
That's incredible.
He should be very thankful.
Fucking incredible that he got away with that.
And then, but he's sent back to jail anyway, because in Virginia he's wanted for the passing bad checks while renting a car and all that kind of shit.
He's fighting extradition and waits in jail while he's in jail.
They talk to him and he has got some crazy fucking thoughts.
They're getting crazier.
They're getting crazier.
He now says that he gets messages from satellites in space oh fantastic he didn't beam to his body no no
beam to his body yeah this isn't some crazy fucking corner of the internet conspiracy this
is a 1989 no internet top of his dome this is just he gets direct tv right into his face that's it this is uh the real shit he
says that uh he insists that he he said that he can't help it he said in 1980 a doctor when he
had a surgery secretly planted computer microchips in his head awesome and he points to his ear and
he says right here this is where they are that's what
he says and he points to him he says they've been buzzing ever since he can hear them buzzing like
the motors whirling on them they're not working right remarkable batteries on these things by the
way the battery life is phenomenal uh yeah he he goes on to say this and he, Jesus Christ, he hit really hard.
Then they go on to talk about how he hit really hard as a player, and maybe this is part of this.
Even back then, they're like, maybe he hit one too many things, one too much too hard here.
His prison job is pushing a broom, and he is having a lot of problems.
The sheriff's under, the jail's undersher sheriff said, quote, he's a con man.
I'm going to have my psychologist look at him.
Sometimes I think he's been hit too many times.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, that's what it is.
That's what it is.
He said after this is he says, quote, I'm not programmed by man.
I'm programmed by God.
Awesome. Demons in the air conditioning is
what that is uh programmed by god might be a better name i think for this by god yeah i think
that's a better name um because i mean you have to conform if you're programmed to by god i mean
you have no choice at that point so get over it yeah it goes over the other one he insists that
he's being hounded by the way at this point in time at the jail and all over the place.
His whole family is being hounded and harassed by Israeli secret agents as well.
Wow.
Israeli secret agents who he says don't appreciate him using their country's name as his own yeah so they're mad
at him for that and they said do that that's what they said how dare you they look through phone
books and find names from other countries they get real super we're out of enemies search the
phone book for one if you name you if you have another son you name him name him ukraine wisman
you're dead you're dead they're gonna haunt you well now you name him Ukraine Wisman, you're dead. You're dead. They're going to haunt you.
Well, now Israel has created an extra enemy by naming his kid the same name.
Albania Wisman?
That's the problem.
Yeah, he did it twice now, this poor kid.
He said that not only are they mad at him for that, they, quote, want to keep him immobilized.
Okay.
So they need to keep him in jail he says his only friend
in the world right now that he has is a cia agent that he knows okay that you know is telling him
keeping him up on all this shit so he knows what to look out for you know so they were like let's
let's talk about let's let's ease off the israeli secret agents and the cia and the international
intrigue for a moment let's go back to these microchips.
Let's talk about that a little more because that is really crazy.
So let's talk about microchips.
And he began to explain that there's microchips in the body.
And he said, OK, well, here we go.
He said, quote, I think we need in their own words for this.
Possibly.
I don't think there's any choice because this is probably what what i fucking recorded that shit to begin with for uh because this is nuts okay in their own
words jimmy in their own batshit words quote this was in may 1980 i woke up in a hospital in new
mexico i found out that a dr welch had inserted microchips in my body for, quote, the word system.
This system nullifies every law in the world.
The microchips inside me are controlled by satellites.
The doctor put me in this coma for seven days to do this.
But I resisted.
That's why they arrest me.
Ninety-nine and nine-tenths of us are controlled by the word system oh my god end quote
so he's a party he's neo and they know it and they're real fucking worried about him and so
they got to keep him locked up and you know constantly being arrested so he's discredited
so he doesn't blow the entire fucking plot out of the water.
They take people to a desert in New Mexico and plant microchips in their ears that buzz and buzz and buzz
and play Teddy Pendergrass songs
and don't find who killed your fucking wife
and then they make you say you're Joe Morris' father-in-law
and you collect checks and rent cars as Doug Williams.
That's what happens.
The CIA told me so.
Goddamn Agent Smith is a dastardly
son of a bitch fuck is happening wow um that's his theory that's his theory okay and the word
system is in quotes all capitalized it's a thing that he says um he says that he's only telling
the press this now because he's not
scared anymore he's tired of this shit and he wants everybody to know that as he says he's a
nice man but he's being controlled by the word system so there's nothing he can do about it uh
he says he's a victim this is wild i'm a victim of the microchip revolution.
Awesome.
Is what he is.
That's what it is.
And I like how the reporter put it.
He says, quote, he's also the victim of a system that places mentally ill people in orange jumpsuits in the Bergen County Jail.
I think that's where we're at with him.
Probably.
That's the system.
Finally, he's out of jail.
He was sent to jail by judges in virginia new jersey served 22 months in total and he gets out of jail and calls his brother alfred
who you know they end up to so he can get on his feet again and alfred helps him out
and the kids love him the alfred his nephews love him alfred says
quote he has already achieved more than any other member of this family will ever achieve
i mean he's been in the nfl he's a microchips implanted in him nobody has that
so january 1991 he's out but he's not doing well this is an ap article from the ap here and it says that in
the this is a quote in the past three months he has hit bottom he has slept on a train station
bench and made a single box of fried chicken last four days what i don't know how much that is i
don't know but as you know from traveling across pennsylvania you don't want to leave chicken out
too long and then eat it,
or your insides will liquefy,
as they did for you.
And that was like 40 minutes.
That was not four days.
Yeah, this is four days.
He says, quote,
I'm crawling just like a bum.
They say his hair is shaggy.
He's looking terrible.
He's got four of his front lower teeth
knocked out in a jail fight.
Oh, no. So he's all toothless on the bottom um they say there are signs of the old dizzy his old nickname was mr
fizz they called him i don't know why but uh he said there's signs of that he's still got the boy
you know the booming voice and all that sort of thing he says he has a room now as well he got a room in a ymca and he's made a pledge to stop cashing bad checks stop it
he said a pledge he said he's starting to lower his sights he just wants a job he says quote even
if it's a matter of washing a dish i don't know if you're qualified for that at this moment in
time you've just been in jail and talking about microchips yeah like is you know
he uh it's fucking crazy i mean there's a lot you gotta feel bad for him now i mean he's clearly
brain damaged it's obvious he's fucking brain damaged he's poor he's broke he's got nobody
left that gives a shit about him except his brother and his nephews he's got there's not a
lot to root for for the guy his wife died which
really sucks and you feel bad for her and you feel bad for him i feel bad for all these people jimmy
yeah but not nearly as bad as i feel for israel lang vice president of managed services at one
path llc in i don't know where the south bend, Indiana, Israel Lang, environment artist in the greater Orlando area.
I don't know.
I don't know what that he draws environments where he draws in an environment.
I don't know.
And Israel Lang, West Liberty, Ohio.
The one that's at Israel Lang is the North Indiana guy on Twitter there.
Twitter there. And then finally, Israel Lang from Brooklyn, New York, who played football for a team there for Lincoln High School. Is that his son, maybe?
It can't be his son. His son was born in 1968. He graduated in 2016, this guy. Could be his
grandson. It's possible. I mean, there's not a lot of Israel Langs hanging around out there. But yeah, there you go.
He played there.
Definitely mistaken for that.
Now, at this moment in his life, when he's homeless and everything, Patty Lang, his second wife, who he had two kids with, said, quote, I wouldn't want my sons to see him right now.
They realize he's just been a real jerk.
Wow.
he's just been a real jerk wow uh she uh she says that besides writing bad checks quote i don't think he knew of any other way to earn he was a person who always wanted to start at the top as
the bank executive instead of working your way up how fascinating is it that we've heard nothing of
uh of some sort of a drug addiction it's just no an addiction to stealing money that he doesn't
have yeah no
there's i haven't heard of uh he's not a drunk he's not a i mean he might be but it's never
brought up like i don't have he never has an alcohol problem a drug problem he says he's
trying to get his shit together though he's vowed not to write any more bad checks he said that he
was tested after his release when he found himself in new york and out of money he went to penn
station and spent several nights asleep on a bench then he met leonard lawrence a home another homeless man
who says that izzy was sad and quiet at first but then they got to know each other and he said about
izzy quote he began to smile he began to laugh and then he became a pain he just needs friends
he meant it jokingly like in a good way it's then he became a pain yeah he just needs friends
is he also met a guy named gr a woman named jean win who's the housing coordinator for a non-profit
organization that helps the homeless she said uh quote he said i screwed up some things in my life
and that's why i'm here that's an understatement he was he was very articulate and intelligent
when you meet a person who has had so much and was so honest about what
happened to them,
it makes you want to help them so much more.
She helped him get a tiny room in a YMCA where,
uh,
you know,
he did a,
uh,
interview and they said when they got there,
he said he apologized to the person and said,
quote,
there were days when I could say,
would you like to have a cup of coffee?
But I can't do that now.
During this interview,
he pulled out a small stack of blank checks out of a satchel and admitted that
circumstances had tempted him to use his real skill, these checks, and he's gotten these checks.
But then he took them and ripped them into pieces and threw them in the wastebasket and said he
wasn't going to do it. So he's going to control himself. He then talked about how for a long time he lived in an apartment in Harlem in a nearly condemned building.
And he said all of his neighbors used drugs a lot.
They were all heroin addicts and everything.
And he recalls spending New Year's Eve successfully convincing one of them not to get high that night.
Did it work?
And he said they greeted the new year uh on their knees in prayer and he said
that's how they did it which is worse than being on drugs that's just weirder not worse it's just
weirder i would understand someone being fucked up at midnight praying at midnight it's like are
you gonna blow yourself up after this or some weird shit like what are you gonna do take a walk
yeah it's just weird do something different he says that he has discovered joy in the small things in life now he said quote just
saying hello good morning he said quote it's good it's a good thing to have wealth but you can't uh
it's a good thing to have wealth but you can appreciate when it's not there anymore and you
have the simplest beauties of life that's what's coming down that's what coming down to the streets
is all about you can see the forest buddy the trees ain't there there you go so he's coming around doing his stuff uh october 2000 october 10 2008
he dies uh dead yeah he's uh 66 years old and dead what what for we don't know exactly what
happened to him it wasn't really covered all that much and he didn't even get a
funeral man really they was buried on hearts island in the bronx it's potter's field dude
it's mass graves this is like where they bury you if you're homeless and you they pick you up off
the street they put you that is fucked it's fucked uh potter's field it's heart island if you don't
know anything about it i should give you some info on that here potter's field you always hear people say like you're gonna be have like be buried in potter's
field that means you have no money that's what that means uh it's a public cemetery variously
described as the largest tax-funded cemetery in the united states and the largest such in the
world and is one of the largest mass graves in the United States. At least 850,000 people have been buried on the island.
And but since the late 2000s, right about when he got there, the burial rate declined to fewer than 1500 a year.
One third of annual burials are infants and stillborn babies, which has been reduced from a proportion of one half since the Children's Health Insurance Program began to cover all pregnant women in New York State in 1997.
So there's been a lot less babies dying if the mothers get prenatal care.
So according to the New York Times here in New York in 2006, there had been 1,419 burials
at the Potter's Field during the previous year. Of these, 826 were adults, 546 infants and stillborn babies.
47 were dismembered body parts that they just found around New York City.
And that's how many people were dismembered and they just went, I don't know, dump them in the fucking field in New York.
Oh, my God.
The dead are buried in trenches just big trenches babies are placed
in coffins which are stacked in groups of 100 measuring five coffins deep and usually in 20
rows wow that is the most disturbing fucking thing I've ever heard of of 100 groups of tiny baby
coffins in a fucking thing is maybe the most disturbing thing i've ever thought of probably a tiny lot next in between two houses yeah no shit it's an island it's a hard it's
between long island and the bronx kind of off there uh adults are placed in larger pine boxes
placed according to size and are stacked in sections of 150 measuring three coffins deep
in two rows and laid out in a grid system.
There are seven sizes of coffins, ranging from one to seven feet long.
Holy shit.
Prior to civilian contractors doing the actual burials, which began in 2020,
inmates from Rikers Island were paid 50 cents an hour to bury bodies out there.
That's until last year.
Last year.
Last year.
The bodies, though,
are frequently disinterred when families are able
to locate their relatives
if they're homeless
and they went to New York
or something
and their families find them
through DNA photographs
and fingerprints.
And so there's an average
of 72 disinterments per year
from 2007 to 2009.
And the adults' coffins are staggered to expedite removal
but the children are never because they usually know who they are they're just too poor to bury
them so that's how that works there a horrible place to be buried if you're an nfl player it's
fucking terrible burial records on microfilm at the municipal archives indicate that until 1913
burials of unknowns were in single plots and unidentified adults and children were buried in mass graves.
In 1913, the trenches became separate to facilitate more frequent disinterment.
The potter's field is also used to dispose of amputated body parts, which are placed in boxes labeled limbs.
Ceremonies have not been conducted at the burial site since the 1950s.
So he just got thrown in the ground with nothing.
That is horrific, man.
Taz had Jimmy Connors be a pallbearer.
This guy didn't even get a fucking funeral.
Jesse Jackson eulogized her.
He didn't even get a goddamn funeral.
An inmate probably pissed in the hole before they threw him in there.
Yup.
So can't get enough of Israel Lang?
You can buy his football card.
It's a pretty goddamn cool football card.
I might actually buy this.
It's a 1969.
He's on the Eagles.
He's looking all cool, about to put his helmet on.
Check it out.
I'll show you.
I'll turn the monitor towards you there.
It's got the orange background.
Oh, yeah.
Those are cool cards.
69 tops and number 107.
That guy's in a hole on an island with limbs.
With just labeled limbs.
Wow.
This is $3.71, this card is, with $4 shipping.
So it'll cost you more to ship it than to buy it, but that's okay.
Or, you know what?
Go dig around Potter's Field and try to find him.
I don't know.
Give him a proper burial.
You can give him a proper burial if you want.
That's something you can do if you, whatever.
But there you go, everybody.
That is Israel Lang.
And those are the stories I fucking love on this show.
That is staggering.
I mean, I feel terrible for him.
It's not a good story.
But those are the stories that are, like, I love the famous people.
Tyson's great.
You know, all these famous people are great and all but you've never heard of that guy yeah i didn't know anything about that guy i guarantee you 99.9 of our fucking audience has never heard of that
guy and that's that those are the ones that are fun because everything's a surprise it's not like
oh when's he gonna bite a vander's ear off which is also a lot of fun. Don't get me wrong. But then you got to switch it up with shit like this.
So we hope you enjoyed that trip down memory lane there of the past.
That's a crazy shit story.
If you did, give us a review on whatever platform you're listening to.
Jump on it right there.
Give us five stars or ten stars or however many stars you can give.
Give us stars. We 10 stars or however many stars you can give give us stars we deserve stars i think so give us the stars and and say something and do all that
shit head over to shut up and give me murder.com right now first of all get all your merchandise
small town murder and crime and sports merchandise we got it coming out of our asses over there so
check it out you want mugs you want fucking floor mats you want backpacks and shoes
and all sorts of shit get them over there water bottles get your stuff they enjoy yeah they exist
get everything over there right now also get your tickets to live shows so many live shows coming up
next month we're going to be in brea in la there we're going to be i'm so excited to actually give
this a run uh yes this should be great wait it's going to be a lot of fun we're going to be in Brea in L.A. there. We're going to be in San Diego. I'm so excited to actually give this a run.
Yes.
This should be great.
I can't wait.
It's going to be a lot of fun.
We're going to be there.
We're going to be at the Tempe Improv.
And then the next month, we are at what?
Portland, Seattle, which they might be sold out.
Check on those. Portland is.
Seattle might be.
Boston, we are.
I think there's like a few individual tickets left in Boston it's a big theater but no groups left in
New York we are also in Brooklyn they've
fucked with that the venue that it was originally
at is no longer in existence anymore
so it's been like moved very close
by and then they fucked with the date and they
came back so check on the site there
it's in Brooklyn oh you know that so
get your tickets go there and we'll get some
good pizza beforehand it'll be a good time
can't wait so that's gonna be a of fun uh come see us at all these damn live shows and then
for 2022 we have a full stack of them out there for you check that out and uh most of all though
head over to patreon.com slash crime and sports this week we have some treasures for you and
anybody over the five dollar level of course you're going
to get access to everything both shows patreon you name it you're getting it all of it uh this
week for crime and sports episode of patreon we have the christy martin story right based on that
crazy ass documentary that's out right now and uh and some other research we did obviously but it's
just a crazy fucking story of a wild, just a crazy life.
And it's kind of a reverse crime in sports because she's not really the criminal here.
It's who she's associated with inflicting crime upon her.
Similar to Steve McNair minus the, I don't know, weird shit that he was doing.
Yeah, and you can still interview Christy Martin.
That's the other thing.
So there's that.
And then, of course, for Small for small town murders episode we did we're back the prisoner dating game all violent felon edition
and jimmy had some real doozies this week and uh he might have picked one of the scariest people
on the planet as the woman and it's crazy so find out if he stuck with her and his gentleman caller, or he chose what's behind door number five.
You never know.
Check it.
It could be worse.
Who knows?
It's all a joke.
No good choices.
That's it.
That's all we do now.
So check that out.
Check out patreon.com slash crime and sports.
And you're going to get a shout out in a second as well.
going to get a shout out in a second as well and if you just want to get a shout out and be a nice person and you know one of our undying our heroes honestly with our undying affection you can do
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media crime at crime and sports on twitter and facebook right at small town murder on instagram
jimmy it's time god damn it i need to be pummeled with the names of the people
who have been so fucking nice to us this week.
Jimmy, tell me the names of the people
who would never say they're my father-in-law
and try to cash money out of my bank account.
Hit me with them now!
This week's executive producers are Jordan Bennett,
Ashley Long, Tony Pittman, and Sky Harrison in Australia.
Happy birthday, Sky.
Happy birthday.
Sean Fitzgerald and Sean Cervantes.
You guys are terrific people. Thank you, everybody.
Thank you so much. Sky, I hope your birthday
is incredible.
Other producers are Leah and Amanda
got married, James, and they looked
fantastic. Congratulations to both of you.
Congratulations. Nancy Weaver,
Madeline Frazee, Tobias Funk, or
Funky, Samantha McLovin-Quigley
donated both. Fumke. Fumke, Jimmy. It's fucking Arrested Development. Fumke? Tobias Funk or Funky, Samantha McLovin Quigley donated both.
Fumke, Jimmy.
What is it?
It's fucking Arrested Development.
Fumke?
Tobias Fumke.
It's Funk.
Oh, what is that?
He's both an analyst and a therapist.
He's the world's first anolropist.
I don't know who he is.
Think about how that's spelled.
It's great.
It's from Arrested Development, the show.
It's David Cross's character in Arrested Development. It's fucking, I know, look.
Tobias Fink.
She is terrific.
He's a never nude.
Yeah.
There you go.
It's my friend in Minnesota who enjoys giving me names that I don't know who they are.
Great.
And appreciates when we do find them.
So she's going to be thrilled that you knew who that was.
Absolutely.
I don't know who that is.
He's great.
Who was he on Arrested Villainment?
Who played him?
David Cross.
Oh, it was David Cross?
That was his name?
Yeah, it's David Cross.
Yeah, yeah.
Tobias Fumke.
I didn't know his name on that show.
Yeah, that's it.
He's great.
He's crying in the showers.
My favorite fucking scene ever.
With his shorts on.
With his shorts.
Samantha McLovin quickly donated twice just on PayPal.
Not even on Patreon.
I'm sure she's a patron also.
She's terrific. Thank you.
Peyton Meadows, Shida Perlman Jr., Rabbi Shmulalovich, Liz Vasquez, Jedit Chaos had a birthday.
Eighth birthday.
Happy birthday.
Wow.
Well, happy birthday to you.
You shouldn't be listening to this.
James Marder, Hugh G. Rection.
Are you proud of yourself?
Oh, very nicely.
Joseph Ruffino in PA.
Jennifer Ward, Chad Brennan.
Brennan.
Brennan Stuhl?
Gross.
CB Handle Happy Hour.
Long Haul Trucker.
Thank you so much.
Ed Hitchcock, M. Ninny.
Sue Miller had a birthday.
Happy birthday, Sue.
Jamie Harris.
Thank you, Jamie.
She sent a nice note with her donation.
Ben Wishall and Jen Hoover.
Nick Ruggiero.
Brian Matvey.
Robert Bowers.
Susanna Platt.
Janice Hill.
Frank the South African Birdwasher.
Sarah Gardner.
Dion Brass.
Unscripted Wimmy Gissman.
Of course, obviously.
Derek Mihalchian.
How much do you regret
professing that i'm so annoyed this remember when i said that before yeah just just just say hi
don't be funny because it's not you're not comedian that's what i mean
people mean well and they make me hate them when they're being nice. That's the thing.
Happy birthday, Sandy.
It's Stephanie Taylor.
Stephanie Swika?
Swika?
She's at FreshAirFriendship.com.
She has a blog where she and her best friend are traveling to all the state parks.
Cool.
Nobody kill each other.
Keep your hands in your pockets.
Hands to yourselves, ladies.
Tina Perkins, neighbor.
Misty Westphal, Dolores Durko, Kennedy Faulkner, Lindsay Aaron, Randy Johnson, probably not.
Kayla Sez, Seyaz, and Anthony Babb.
I don't know how to pronounce that Spanish last name.
I've made $150 million.
Here's $5 for these guys.
Randy Johnson.
That seems like him.
He's a real dick.
He's a cheap twat. I've heard that. That seems like him. He's a real dick. He's a cheap twat.
I've heard that.
That's funny.
Katie Geigel.
Katie Daly.
Jesse Pittman.
Becky Ann Braden.
Brennan Avins.
Bradley Powers.
Hannah Patton.
Jessica Niedinger.
Victoria Nanawise.
Jesus.
Justin Bird.
Kira McFarlane.
Jeff Dawson.
Pat.
Nope, that's Phil Stratton.
Andrea Barfield. Enos Oliveira. Lowell Johnson, Bosley Bosley, Bacon, Hannah Sousa, Morgan Hannon, Simona Rice, Amber Swain, Madeline and Tim Pahosky, Pamela Lewis, Benjamin Grundy, Mickey Kerr, Lisa Bartle, Seymour Butts, are you proud of yourself? Andrew Siepka, Shane Meyer, Becky Stelmachkowski, Jenna Clappers, Cappers, Cappers, Cindy Schmidt,
Reese Guidone, Tim K., Kelsey Hamilton, Kelly Anderson, John Clancy, probably not. That's great. Kelsey Hamilton. Kelly Anderson.
John Clancy.
Probably not.
That's the writer, right?
It was John Clancy?
Clancy?
Tom Clancy.
Tom Clancy.
Tom!
That's right.
Steve Bockler.
Emma Cassidy.
Alicia Pillmore.
Jen Norwood.
Nicole Albertson.
Brandon Boz Oliver.
Mamay?
Mamayi?
J.M.
Arthur Sabatino. Shelby Teep. I don't know. Greg Zabelli. Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Heather, what? Dazowitz. Joe with no last name. Becky Guther.
Guther?
Oh, Christ.
Sharesa Smith.
Jennifer Meyer.
Misa Park.
Kenan Herak.
Herak?
Daryl with no last name.
Victoria Brooke.
James Futch.
Alex Jones Schmegma.
All right.
Julio Tovar Jr.
Julio, thank you.
Mac with no last name.
Thomas Smith.
Kalen Hall.
Vicky Welling.
Broke Bitch.
Gino Santangelo.
Bridget Thompson.
Jamie Smothers.
Kim Watson.
Lori Hanks.
Ross Jenkins.
Hazel Basil.
Ben McClain.
Linda Henning.
Tyler Weigel.
Shit.
Amora Mayo Perez. Christopher Creider, nope, that's Craig Stevens,
John Ashford, Ashford, what?
That's somebody, too.
Marianne Maranin, Maranin Coons, Caroline Swain, Jerry Danjuma, Ditsy Nitzers, no name at all, Katie Zanowski, Jennifer Rhodes, Joseph McBride, Devin Rudolph, Brady Morrison.
John Ashcroft, by the way.
Yes.
The George W. Bush's attorney general.
Yeah, there you go.
Brandy Wiatrowski.
Did I say Brady Morrison?
I don't know.
Corey Gadape?
What?
Gadape?
That can't be right.
Lisa Almaday, Almaday of all. gotta gotta gotta be what gotta that can't be right uh lisa amadea almadea almadea evolve
almadea hills uh almida i don't know uh daniel felipe andrew stanton uh jess jesse coffin
chris with no last name laura tholen eric nope that's vance kessler Aaron Dunn Aoife Aoife Booker I oh boy uh Pam Smith Gigi
Gia Gia Bobadia nope that's not what it says either uh Cindy Cindy McDonald Mike Ock what
Ock and urine oh Mike Ock and Uranus are you proud of yourself you son of a bitch. I have enough fucking hard time without these.
Lizard Space Cadet Jake Friedman, Samantha Imlay, Bon Goodell, Matty Ice 69, Michelle Denny, Thomas Henry, Rosalind Cassidy, Cody Chaney, Marcus Riger, Trent Perry, Stevie with no last name, Anna King, Aster with no last name,
Marcello with no last name, Kylan Scott, Big Sexy Peanut from the Panhandle, Mitchell Rodriguez,
Audrey N., Walker Washburn, Ryan Sherman, Perrion with no last name, and also Renee with no last name, but also all of our patrons.
You guys are the greatest people.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, everybody. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of our patrons, you guys are the greatest people. Thank you so much. Thank you, everybody.
Thank you.
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Honestly, we cannot tell you how much we appreciate all that you do for us every fucking week. And it is really staggering.
And thank you so much for this.
And we hope you are enjoying the Patreon episodes because they're the most fun thing for us to do.
And Jimmy, what if someone wanted to tell you the most fun thing they wanted to do?
How could they possibly find you in the world?
You can tell me all about your fun at Westman Sucks.
What about you?
There you go.
I'm at Jimmy P is funny.
You can just Google our names.
Just Google the show.
Google Crime and Sports Hosts, and it will pop right up.
There's no other show called that, just us.
Even when people Google other things, we pop up.
So I know it works.
Yeah, it really does work.
Anything with crime or sports, we're going to be in there somewhere in there on the list.
So go ahead and do that.
I noticed that, by the way, with small town murders.
You can't look up like if you're trying to find a murder in a small town.
I can't look up like small town murder in North Carolina because it'll just come up with our list of episodes of north the first five pages are us i'm like fuck i can't this isn't working
so uh that said it is pretty great i'm thankful for that i love it thank you everybody that said
and uh we'll keep coming back live from the crime and sports studios. We will see you next week. Bye.
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