Crime in Sports - #286 - Someone Is Going To Die - The Decliningness of Larry Johnson
Episode Date: January 11, 2022This week, we venture into the "brain damage" sports to bring you a cautionary tale. It's cautionary because you wouldn't want to end up like him, or even near him. He has been arrested, mult...iple times, for attacking women, once for using a broken vodka bottle as a weapon, and plenty of other craziness. Speaking of crazy, he loves nothing more than shouting crazy conspiracy theories, from the darkest corners of the internet! He's a mess, and seems to be getting worse, by the day! Where will it end?  Almost win the Heisman Trophy, spit at people who may want to engage you in conversation, and always answer situations with a head shaking level of violence with Larry Johnson!! Check us out, every Tuesday! !We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!!  Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman  Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com  Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com  Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!!  Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsports crimeinsports@gmail.com facebook.com/Crimeinsports instagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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thank you all right for everyone that does that and let's get it on because we
have a wild wild episode here with mr larry johnson you know oh grand mama no of course uh
that's the thing everybody this is not grand mama this is not charlotte hornet's gap in the front
teeth you know big smile uh uh Is this Red Helmet Running Back?
This is Kansas City Chiefs Larry Johnson.
He was amazing.
He was a great player for about two years.
And wow, he's even more prolific when it comes to hitting women.
He's very pro.
And now he's even more prolific in saying insane fucking things.
This guy has turned into a crazy person.
And he admits maybe it's some CTE in there, maybe a little bit of this.
He needs help.
Somebody needs to hug him and help him and sit him down in a chair and take away all electronic devices because he's out of his fucking mind at this point.
Let's get it on. Let's get it on let's do it with and it's right off the bat larry alfonso johnson jr of course of course this is the he's a quintessential jr everybody he really is quintessential jr he
reminds me of jr rider. Ryder for some reason.
I have a real, I don't know why I keep connecting these episodes in my brain.
My brain keeps wanting to put them together.
He's born November 19th, 1979.
He is born in Palm Fret, Maryland.
Where the fuck is that?
I have no idea.
It's a suburb.
He's a suburban kid.
His dad.
Maryland's not very big, so that makes sense. Yeah suburb he's a suburban kid his dad's not very big so that
makes sense yeah and he's a he's a very middle-class family he's he has two you know siblings um he's
you know so he's one of three his father larry johnson senior is a high school vice principal
and a high school football coach and he will become a college football coach
as he goes along is that right yeah he'll become a very successful coach of the three i don't think
he is i think he's possibly the middle of the three here because his brother tony is older than
him oh no wait his brother tony is younger than him by a year i think so yeah i think his brother
tony is younger than him by a year so he might be the oldest older sister he might be the oldest older sister? He might be the oldest boy, possibly, yeah, because he's got a sister also.
So there's two boys and a girl in the family here.
His mother's name is Christine.
And his father will end up being a defensive line coach at Penn State.
No shit.
Yeah, his father will work under and with right next to Jerry Sandusky, really.
So, yeah, right away, we got some weird connections here with this.
You're going to hear a lot of Joe Paterno quotes.
Oddly, not a lot of Sandusky quotes in here.
He's not quoted much.
Well, it's hard to really apply the quotes of let me help you off with those shorts.
Yeah.
So much in life.
Well, especially by the time Larry would be anywhere near him, he'd be way too old for old Jerry,
so he's not real interested in him.
So, yeah, he ends up also being a defensive line coach
at Ohio State as well.
So we're talking top schools here, Penn State, Ohio State.
He's, yeah, anyway, he played Larry and his father.
Larry played football as well, obviously.
He was a football player.
They have a very close relationship, and he's very close with his brother, Tony, as well.
His brother, Tony, was also – he played for Penn State from 2000 to 2003.
He was a starting wide receiver.
So his brother, Tony, was a good player.
Not bad.
Now, this is very much a Todd Marinovich situation in terms of, remember we were told he was
like given a football in the crib?
From the earth.
Yeah, this, just born, newborn, still in the hospital, he came in with a Nerf football
and put it on top of him.
Kid can't even see yet, and he's like, here you go.
Knocked it out of his hand he's like don't fumble son
you have to hold on to that ball looking at the ball through vaseline it's really fucking
interesting but i mean it was set right from the beginning here now larry senior in addition to
being a high school coach he was his coach was herman boone who is the remember the titans
denzel washington and remember the titans yes so that's that's who his coach was Herman Boone who is the remember the Titans Denzel Washington and remember the Titans
yes so that's that's who his coach
was so he's
there's a definite a lot of football
lineage here he
he played
he played college football and everything
like that and he always loved it his
father always loved it and
he made the game seem like a thing
he wanted to be a part of.
Larry always said it was never like a negative thing.
They would watch film for hours.
He'd watch with his dad, watching film.
So these coaches' kids always have a step up when it comes to football.
Their football IQs are always very high in ways they don't have to learn because they've been seeing film in their
house since they were three muscle memory but it's like brain muscle memory you know what to look for
on that film it's been in your living room you get it you know you it's not a new thing to you
like oh shit what am i looking at over here it's you've looked at it you've heard dad scream it's
the cover too god damn it you've asked why and he's explained this son of a bitch over here is
in the wrong fucking position.
This cocksucker needs to get over to this cocksucker.
That's how football coaches all talk.
If you've ever.
They talk like they're in Deadwood.
It's fucking amazing.
They talk like a Deadwood prostitute.
All of them.
It's fucking perfect.
He's a shy guy this is the thing he's kind of a loner outside of his family kind of a shy guy and and he had like you know he just didn't didn't really talk to a lot
he's a weird guy man iry johnson's a weird he's not outgoing no no no no no no sometimes he's a weird cat though he's so he's so
weird um he they watched old film a lot his dad would show him films of old players and he really
got into marion motley who was a great marion motley oh he was amazing marion motley was a big
giant back he was like a 280 pound running running back. Who did he play for?
I think, was he the Colts?
Who the hell did he play for?
The Colts?
Then he played in the AFL as well.
He's a pioneer, too.
He was a star as a black guy at the time.
There wasn't a lot of black stars in the NFL in the 50s.
Awesome.
And then he also loved Jim Brown as well.
Have you ever watched?
Just YouTube a film of jim brown running the ball it's you can't not be a huge fan of he was he was incredible he just looked like he was running with a bunch of fourth graders
chasing him he was shoving people out of the way and twice as fast as them so early yeah he quit
while he could still walk he wanted to do things with his life uh be in movies and all that shit get arrested for doing
crazy things as well he had a lot of plans jimmy he had to want to do a bunch of like social shit
too so um he started signed up for the 75 pound football league so i guess not the football isn't
75 pounds i guess the kids do it. He was about seven years old here.
And Larry Sr. was signed up as his coach.
Larry's always his coach here.
That's the thing, too.
Larry's always going to be his coach.
He said that he wanted to be a tailback.
He liked to line up in the back and be able to see everything unfold before him and see where the holes open.
And he was used to watching film, and he liked to watch things unfold so that made sense and he's a as a kid he's a big guy a big kid as a as a
running back he's a big running back he was big as shit he's big he's six two 240 pounds 230 pounds
he's a big athletic as fuck oh super athletic and that size though he's like a big like a franco
harris type he was that kind of big bruising guy
who still had athletic skills and he's that kind of a runner you don't see those guys a lot that
are that big and have that kind of athletic ability willing to run like christian akoya
uh but didn't need to because he had football he was so smart he could watch things happen
and he would find holes and then fuck could he run. Jesus. He looks for ways to damage his brain is the way he plays football.
Where he could make a guy miss, but instead he puts his head down and knocks into him to knock him over.
Which is, you know, they talk about it.
He does this from the time he's a little kid.
Like it's just what he does.
So that's not good for you.
It's not good for you it's not good for you and
remember that later on when we're telling you some of the crazy shit he's been tweeting and saying and
they gave this man a podcast not they that's the problem with podcasts is anybody can have a
podcast i know that's pretty remarkable coming from us two guys who just put a podcast out but
we we have like you know we try very hard to put out a professional product and there's research and we know what we're doing and we have like, you know, minimal broadcasting abilities at least.
But you but we also have interest in what we're doing and passion for the whole project.
That's what I'm saying.
There's a consistency to it.
Yeah.
Anybody can just put a goddamn podcast out and including brain damaged crazy people so
he uh during one day and larry johnson and then including up to and including
so during a scrimmage one day he was carrying the ball during uh near the sideline and he got hit
real hard and didn't like it.
He got knocked over.
He was over by his dad, and he told his dad, I don't want to play anymore.
I changed my mind.
All I've been doing is watching football films and dreaming about football, but I didn't
realize that that's what it felt like to get fucking walloped.
That hurt.
I don't want to play anymore.
So his dad was like, all right, well, sit on the bench then.
He told him, I promise you'll be all right.
You know, you feel a little stung now, but you'll be OK.
And it's just your first concussion.
Don't worry about it, young man.
There'll be plenty of those.
Be plenty of those where that comes from, mister.
Yeah.
So later on, though, later on in the game, Larry asked to be put back in the game.
in the game larry asked to be put back in the game and the he ended up uh from what everybody said from what his dad said is the play was supposed to be a sweep which is a run to one
side or the other and instead he took it up the middle because he saw the right at the guy who
hit him instead so he he basically chased the guy who hit him and fucking rammed into him
on the next play.
When he got put back in.
When he got back in.
A quarter later, yeah.
He got revenge.
Yeah, he ran him over and scored.
Okay.
And, yeah, he was, he said, quote, his dad said it was the first sign of that determination that he liked to.
Oh, he said he ran angry.
Everybody says that.
He runs angry.
Well.
Which is fine.
That's one way of thinking
about it another is vendetta vendetta and another is um hey save your fucking brain right like all
the you know emmett smith who i can't stand as a player but i mean he's the all-time rushing leader
he never tried to hit anybody on purpose because that would hurt his body and he tried to make you
hit him as little as possible.
Every hit that ever was on him, no one ever hit him hard because he'd slide.
He'd do that little – he was smart.
He was never like, you hit me, I'll hit you back.
He was like, I'll make you use that energy going this way.
Like he was doing – that was smart.
He ran like it hurt to get hit.
Yeah, like a smart person.
That's why he played for 20 years or some shit because
otherwise you don't running backs are done in six years like and he can still walk and talk
he can do anything he wants whereas this guy had played seven years and is now ranting and raving
about crazy conspiracies on a podcast he's crazy so they got a job apparently his father when he's
a teenager gets a job at penn state coaching the
defensive line for joe paterno for a national powerhouse in the thick of it so that is uh
that's a big deal and he you know they moved to out to you know what is it cause state college
out there it's it's a rural area penn state's the only thing really. It's Central PA?
Is that where it is?
Where the hell is Penn State?
I think it's more Western PA.
Is it? But Western Central, yeah, because in Philly they don't give a shit about it, but in Scranton
all they give a shit about is like, but then again, that's like Eastern Pennsylvania, so
maybe it's over there.
I don't even remember.
Isn't that weird?
I have no idea.
I don't remember exactly where it is.
Pennsylvania, it's's you know what it's
all one big pictures picture a bunch of amish country and then put a college in the middle of
it somewhere and it's there that's pennsylvania i don't know what else to tell you it's somewhere
between pittsburgh and philly somewhere between the coal mines and amish country i'm not positive
where so yeah but it's a pretty area green and beautiful and uh snowy which you know maryland it snows but
not like it does in pennsylvania pennsylvania is a snowy snowy place so he um he he has no
he has to start all over with his football rep and he hates that one of his high school coaches
said larry had to prove himself again and he found that difficult. He said, quote, he was going to be the man at his old high school, but he came here.
And who's Larry Johnson?
It was difficult where he came from.
Maryland.
There were many, many, many more black people.
Okay.
Three many.
Three many.
So, but he just kind of assumes that because his sister says quote we've always grown up in the
suburbs we didn't grow up in the hood every black person who comes to state college is not from the
hood not from the inner city not from the ghetto he's like don't judge us yeah that's all he's like
she was like that's ridiculous we were that's crazy so uh yeah he said that he was his dad
the way he puts it is he was always watching for people to try to fuck him over.
Larry was.
He said he thinks he got that from his dad being a football coach.
And also he said his dad grew up in the South.
And he said so.
There were certain things his dad told him to ways to act that were kind of from a time past that he was like.
But he took them in as a as a thing he said his dad
told him quote when you walk in walk slow i don't know what the reason for that yeah when you walk
in walk slow and he said so he told him about football practice make it look like that you'll
look a lot faster when you're running that and shit like that like he had little little tips for him to go on here. He said the first few months of practice there, he was – this wasn't his dad, which he's used to having his dad as his coach.
And, you know, he's not the starting running back, and he's going to be the big star.
There's another guy who's the starting running back.
And this guy said quote uh
this is later on after i've watched him at penn state and watched what he's doing now sometimes
i wonder uh should i have even been there like why was i even on the team this guy was much better
much better than me because this guy's an officer in the u.s navy that all the first string running
back which is fine but he wasn't you know a running back for the kansas city chiefs that's a different or any other nfl team it's a different job a little bit so
um larry larry didn't like that he thought of it as like i'm the most talented guy here so i should
be the starter and they on that that team was a pay your dues kind of a, you know, kind of a thing.
You had to pay your dues and all that sort of shit. So he thought it was bullshit and he couldn't figure out why someone who was obviously shittier than him was starting in front of him.
So he would get mad and angry at all of that, which you get that as you're 16 years old and you're like, I could run circles around this guy and he's starting.
This is bullshit.
So Larry Senior, he says nothing has ever come easy for him that's kind of been his trail it's
been the same story for him so he's always angry and trying to prove himself and everything like
that he finally gets a start it's his fourth game in high school here at the new school gets a start and has more over 200 yards running so in the first
game yeah so i was like see look at me i'm a man these are children i will run them over i run
people over on purpose there's something to be said too for earning it and living i mean maybe
not because it doesn't matter to him no he's on this show so we know it didn't work we know it
should have none of this yeah maybe i don't think these this didn't build character as intended i
don't think which is the whole purpose it did football is a weird sport and all the good coaches
all of them have a fun going back to people think of like vince lombardi and you think of like he
has a very regimented thing and treats everybody the same.
He absolutely doesn't treat everybody the same.
And no good coach in history has ever treated every player the same.
Because if you have 50 guys, they're not all the same.
No.
Especially different positions.
A quarterback is a lot different than a linebacker.
Like they're just a different mindset.
You know, how they aggressiveness and things like that.
It's just a different game.
You got to have the linebacker on edge edge whereas keep that punter calm as fuck yeah that's exactly right keep your
kick keep your quarterback at an even keel but keep him also looking over his shoulder so he's
not too fucking comfortable keep his eye on the clock so he knows what the fuck to do the kicker
can be anything yeah it could be wily or calm whatever whatever
makes you kick that fucking ball straight do that i don't give a shit that's i mean they hang out by
themselves over there and you do whatever you got to do i don't care what i don't know what the fuck
they're doing mescaline over there i think i don't know who cares he kicked he's like eight for eight
on field goals this year i can give a fuck that he's snorting poppers if mescaline makes that
work for him then great give the give him mushrooms but like in baseball they say the job is the man a job of a manager because in the game there isn't
a whole lot of decisions to make here's your starter here's your lineup and for the first
five innings or so before you start going to bullpens and shit there's no decisions to make
other than shade that guy tell him to shade over more to the right. Who gives a shit?
Any coach could do that.
It's not a genius manager move.
I mean, there's late in the game.
There's switches and moves you can make, but game management to do.
The game is 95% managing the personality of 25 guys on your fucking team and managing this as a roving circus act that doesn't implode on itself.
And everybody's yeah that's
the same thing with football have to treat everybody differently you just have to and um
it's hard if a lot of times the lower level coaches don't really do that or they'll just
treat like if they have one star they'll treat them above everybody else everybody else gets
treated the same so uh he said that he got a lot of intensity on the field but he got that he brought that
intensity off the field too which was a problem for him he um everybody handled him different
his uh one coach said i think with larry he's always been a complex individual you had to
treat him differently he's not the person to you uh you get in his face
and challenge him you would never want to call larry out in front of a crowd yeah this is well
it's not going to do any good you know you might feel better but it's not you know you're not going
to get production out of him now exactly so you're fucking it up um he uh he said that he never wanted
to sit out again he hated being on the bench and his high school coach his high school
teammate one of them said he's always been angry on the field which is what made him so good he's
always had something scratching at him i guess that's his brain on the inside of his skull that's
the problem it's pushed up against it a little too much i think so uh he refused to do in practice
like you're supposed to run.
A lot of times we'll be like, we're running this at 70 percent or 50 percent.
Yeah.
Don't hit as hard.
Don't run full speed.
We're just kind of it's a walkthrough kind of a thing.
And they said that he would never do the drills at the slower speed.
He would do the full force and knock the shit out of people who were trying to do like a walkthrough.
So he said finally, the coach had to tell the defensive backs,
just get out of his way if he starts running at you.
Just don't bother. We're in a scrimmage. What the fuck?
I'm not going to have you injured because this guy's a fucking psycho.
One of his teammates said, quote, you freeze up when he's running at you.
He said, he's one of the only people I've ever seen that runs right at you.
He always runs you over.
That's what happened every single time.
I never tackled him once.
Fascinating.
And he tries to keep doing that in the NFL, which is a different ball game.
That'll wear you the fuck down.
That's kind of a dick move, really.
I wouldn't see that as a positive thing ever if I was a teammate of his.
You know what I mean?
No, in college, you're hurting your teammates.
Who's to say that that doesn't cause one of his linemen downfield
to accidentally muff a block?
You know what I mean?
This is for that time that you blasted me in practice.
Oh, it's a fact, dude.
It causes a lot of anger at him.
There's a lot of people on the team that are mad at him.
But in the NFL, the problem is if you blow that block later on in practice that week
and when they're going over film, they're going to fucking rewind it and play it 12 times
and everyone's going to make fun of you and the coach is going to say what a fucking asshole you are
for missing that block.
So you're going to have to eat that at some point.
You never get away with that shit. Larry wanted wanted to go to north carolina is that right that was that was his first
choice but he chose because his dad's a coach at penn state yeah i don't think he wanted to make
his dad look like an asshole if joe paterno wanted him and he couldn't even get his coach his own kid
he would have you know he's like come on larry you got to help me out and just go here man especially if he's a prospect and can go to a division one school
you go to the one that your dad's at and i've only he's only been there like two seasons like
he i'm you know i'm not on solid ground here i mean who's not to say that that the college didn't
pick up senior because of junior to try to entice junior to come there too you never know that
might have been a possible part of it yeah and junior to come there too you never know that might have
been a possible part of it yeah and you're sitting there going you know hey please help me out you
know they they might be hard on coaches i mean it's not like i diddled kids here i've had bad
you know my kid didn't go here it's way different we can get this amazing head coach out of arkansas
at some high school there or we could get this coach and in two years we can get his fucking
kid here who's a great running back that's and in two years we can get his fucking kid here who's
a great running back that's a hell of a sale maybe get his giant kid so uh he goes to penn state
and he said that he always saw john capoletti's heisman trophy there the heisman trophy from an
old player and he said that he he wanted it bad like not that not that trophy, but his own. He wasn't planning, like, a cat burglary.
Picture him grappling.
Repelling from the ceiling.
Cutting the glass, cutting a circle in it,
reaching in and pulling it out.
Floating down, spread eagle.
Pulls the mask over his face.
I'm going to get that, Heisman.
He's got a walkie talkie
talking to nobody why don't you just play better you can get your own fuck that i want
capoletti's heisman i'm taking it i don't know it's speaking to me i need it it's like the ark
so he said that um yeah that's what he wanted he even did a a paper about it and uh also made
a thing that was similar to it in art class he's
obsessed with the heisman trophy yeah he absolutely was um he could not get it's really hard at penn
state so one of these big programs it's hard to break in if there's guys ahead of you because
it's a factory they don't say well we don't need a running back so we won't recruit a blue chip
running back this year because we have two blue chip running backs already they go we'll get that because then that
school won't get him so yeah we'll have three blue chip running backs if one of them never plays
fuck it that's who gives a shit that's the fucking cost if the one of the other two gets hurt we'll
throw him in there so there's a hoarding of talent with these big schools. So he said that he's not playing as much as he wanted to.
And he, you know, walk up and he he felt terrible. He said he would, you know, walk around the
facility and felt bad. His running back coach said, you can imagine how he felt. He thought I
was nuts. He thought I was against him and that I had it out for him. I feel so bad that he was unhappy. So now he feels later on. He feels bad.
He said that he started telling reporters, quote, I'm always angry all the time on and off the
field. He was saying that like in college, they're saying, oh, we heard you have an angry style. And
he's like, I'm always angry on off the field. Whatever. I'm always angry. I'm just a jerk.
off the field whatever i'm always angry i'm just a jerk yeah i'm just i'm just an asshole he started to really kind of speak out too he said that he thought the offense was boring and
predictable and uh he said some sideways comments about joe paterno what's his talk if you're like
a freshman or a sophomore it's hard to like talk some shit about a guy who's been there for 40
years and has national championship whether you're right or not you're not a freshman or a sophomore, it's hard to like talk some shit about a guy who's been there for 40 years and has national championship.
Whether you're right or not, you're not going to win that battle.
You know, that's that's it's just whether, you know, correct or incorrect.
You're not winning it.
You're just not in public opinion.
So, yeah, his one coach said, Larry is so proud.
You have to be careful how you coach him and what you say to him.
Sometimes you'd say, I'd rather not have a confrontation in front of eight guys.
I'll just get them off to the side later.
So that's how it is.
And Larry Sr. backs that up and says he took everything personally and it drove him on the inside and it angered him on the inside.
So that's guys need a reason to play well, too.
A lot of guys need that fuel.
Guys need a reason to play well, too.
A lot of guys need that fuel. They need to sit back and say, like, I got – it was the Michael Jordan always said that they pissed him off that he got cut from his high school basketball team when he was a freshman and he used that as all his motivation.
Sometimes people take perceived or real slights and they use that as fuel.
It works sometimes for some people. That might be why, I mean, apart from other things probably,
but that might be why Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady do very well
because so many people passed on them when they probably shouldn't have.
Oh, that's definitely part of it.
Yeah, that's a huge deal.
Oh, fuck yeah.
You didn't think Aaron Rodgers was supposed to be a top five pick.
What the fuck like yeah
he had to you know tom brady just no one he never expected to be hot shit but they had the camera on
aaron rogers every single pick and he had to sit there and smile and go oh that's a good pick yeah
yeah it seems good yeah i'm glad they picked a defensive lineman and not a quarterback terrific
yeah i'm good it's gonna be fine all right yeah brady
though eighth round that's really hard to seventh round to the sixth i thought six or seven six i
think either way it doesn't matter later on six rounders don't make it every team passed on him
at least five times that's gotta hurt yeah but for him i think he was happy just to make the league
he wasn't a guy who was like, I'm a number one pick.
This is bullshit.
He was like, whew, I might have a chance to make this league.
I don't know.
A guy that is the quarterback for fucking Michigan expects to make the league.
There's no way he doesn't.
But no, he knew what the draft boards were like.
He said he didn't even know if he was going to get drafted at all.
He was probably going to be like, I think that's a fucking cop out because he got drafted so late i think
that's him trying to be humble but but back then though that's where the boards were like he he was
on boards either late late at very end or not on boards at all like he just wasn't on the radar
he's a he's a slow he's slow they looked at him as he doesn't have the best arm. He can't move around very much.
He's kind of a mediocre physical limitations as far as that goes.
There's nothing electric about the guy at all.
And Michigan was decent but not great with him there, I believe.
Is that right?
I don't remember what the fuck Michigan was like in the late 90s.
The point is, you'd have to have
unbelievable football acumen with the with the talents that he had then yeah to be able to be
successful in the nfl absolutely yeah he took his chance and he fucking went through and became the
greatest and most boring quarterback in the history of the nfl it's the most boring man ever to play football i swear to god i would rather watch i'm saying this because
this is a contemporary of his even though he's still playing i would rather watch brett farve
practice than watch fucking tom brady win a game in the last two minutes it's more exciting to watch
brett farve practice i don't even talking about running plays in practice i'm talking about like
laughing and flipping the ball around and shit yeah way more exciting than tom brady winning
a game in the last two minutes it seems like a joyless it seems like a joyless like 1800s
christian been married for 25 years fuck that's how he wins a game in the two minutes
well i'm all finished up mom well. Well, that's good, Pop.
And then they fucking dismount and they go sip some tea on the porch.
Yeah.
Fucking bores me to tears.
I'd rather watch Aaron Rodgers cough in his teammates' mouths.
I would.
I'd rather watch Aaron Rodgers give half the fucking league COVID
than I would watch fucking Tom Brady do the most exciting thing ever.
He made the biggest comeback in Super Bowl history boring.
That's amazing.
That's incredible.
How do you do that?
How do you make that boring?
That's incredible.
What he did was fucking magic.
He did an amazing magic trick in front of a billion people.
That's the other thing.
The pressure there.
What he did was fucking amazing.
Yeah.
And it was yawning.
It was the most straight-faced magic I've ever seen.
And fucking dull as shit.
How do you do that?
That's a talent right there.
That is a talent.
I'm telling you, man. That might be the funniest thing you've ever said in your life james at least the most true i'm not sure if it's funny or not
the biggest super bowl comeback ever it was a fucking drip it was so dull it was just dull
well they're up they scored again i guess let's get closer he tarnished
the most magical thing on her hey look at that they're in the lead now wow i think that's the
biggest in history i think they're gonna get a ring this is wild yep there it is oh the game's
over okay it was really good it's super exciting how about that commercial with the puppies on it remember that one that
was exciting i'm gonna go feed the hogs jesus fucking christ man i'm telling you i mean
not denying how good the guy is it's just jesus christ
if we came to the team i loved i would i don't think I'd be happy. I'd be like, yeah, we're going to win now, but at what cost?
At the cost of me sleeping through all the games?
And hating this boring fucking quarterback who joylessly plays a game for a living?
Kiss your kids on the mouth, fucking creep.
Just joyless.
We've said this before, but it needed to be said again that was fun that was the most
fun for no reason at all tom brady getting blasted every reason i don't even fuck him i don't mean i
don't know what good reason we had to bring him up is that i don't even know where oh because the
late in the draft okay draft and then he got fucking blasted in the face.
All right, so he caught a little fucking shrapnel out of that one.
That's fine.
It's going to happen.
It's going to be collateral damage.
Talk about one person, someone else comes up.
That's what happens.
It's a conversation.
It's a conversation.
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so
1999 Penn State
was 10 and 3 so they
finished 11th in the AP poll
so not bad it's a good season
they go all the way to the
Alamo Bowl
yay the Alamo Bowl
where they play
I'm sure it is
if it's anywhere else what are we doing here Yay, the Alamo Bowl, where they play. I'm sure it is. It better be.
If it's anywhere else, what are we doing here?
It's sponsored by Alamo Rental Car.
Yeah, well, I'm sure it is sponsored by Alamo Rental Car.
Is that why it is?
Yeah, absolutely.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, because they have the budget rental car game.
All the rental cars have their own bowl.
Really?
Fuck yeah.
They did at one point.
I don't know if they do now, but at this point, they did.
So, yeah, the Alamo Bowl is probably in you know topeka kansas or something yeah it's
it's in bellevue washington great why who knows so they play texas a&m and beat the shit out of
them 24 nothing so uh so they they blank they blank texas a&M possibly in their own home state?
We're not sure.
Maybe.
So maybe in their own home state.
Could have been in Hawaii.
Now, Lowry plays in all 12 games, but he only has 43 rushes.
So he's not very sparingly.
He's just given a couple rushes a game.
With a good team like this, maybe at the end of the game,
when they're blowing somebody out,
when they're blowing out some college you've never heard of some division two school or some
shit you throw him in there 43 attempts 171 yards four you know yards a carry that's not bad he's
got right it's not it's good it's okay uh one touchdown four receptions for 74 yards and a
touchdown so you know he's okay but he a freshman. They're not really playing him much.
2000, the team goes 5-7, which is very un-Penn State-like.
This is a drastic change from last year.
What the fuck happened?
Yeah, things kind of fell apart here.
He has 75 rushes this year, so still not getting a lot of carries.
358 yards for 4.8 a carry which is goddamn good here yeah three
touchdowns also nine receptions and touchdowns so you know he's he's they're bringing him in very
slowly and that's yeah these big programs you got to hope somebody in front of you dies or else
you're not getting fucking playing time so 2001 they go five and six again. Not good. This is he.
Larry says he starts to begin to experience symptoms of depression in college also.
Really?
And he he the way you put it later on, he would seek to prove how tough he was by like, you know, starting fights and nightclubs and, and you know treating women poorly and things of that
nature that was like you know his way of showing that he was tough why'd you hit me because i know
i'm good at football i'm good at football because i think that people think i'm a pussy even though
they're terrified of me that's why you understand now that's right i just wanted i just wanted a
jack and coke i don't know what happened.
What the hell is this guy talking about?
I have no clue what he's talking about.
He said that he would try to numb himself with alcohol, which, as we all know, when you're fighting depression, I mean, yeah, that'll make you feel good for a minute.
But it's not going to work in the long run.
It's not a positive long-term solution is what we're getting at here at all.
But in his junior year, he only has 71 attempts, so he's less than his sophomore year.
Oh, no.
It's about the same, 4.7 to carry, two touchdowns, 11 catches, two touchdowns.
So they're not letting him play much.
But then his senior year comes, and he said on as said on the in-betweeners
frothing at the gash to get in there and start he wants it bad he is i love that phrase it's
just so ridiculous it's so disgusting that it's hilarious it's just so unnecessarily disgusting
both those words are terrible and it's just he's into it though so this year they finished
nine and four the team so kind of got back into it a little bit uh 16th in the final poll they
also go to the capital one bowl oh boy where they play auburn that's a big game penn state auburn
and they lose 13 to 9 which sounds really boring. That's a boring, boring game.
That is five field goals.
A lot of incomplete passes.
I'm hoping at least it was a touchdown and a missed extra point to get to 13.
And maybe one to get to nine, too.
I'm not sure.
Fingers crossed.
Fingers crossed.
fingers crossed so they said that he um people when he started you know starting the opponents wouldn't even talk trash to him before the games like
they would talk trash to everybody else and leave larry the fuck alone
his one teammate said his eyes were that scary he looked like he wanted to fuck you up not that
they weren't threatened but they were actually threatened. They were threatened both physically and football-wise with him.
They were like, oh, shit, he's going to kick our asses,
and also he's going to beat me up at the same time.
This is frightening.
He's a big guy running right at you here.
So he was mad.
They were up 19-0 against Northwestern, and they took him out.
Northwestern is not a football school, as you might know. It's like a it's like a good school it's like a smart mathlete
school it's a it's like a math school it's not a school where giant guys run each other over
right so geography be school yeah and uh he was mad because they took him out of the game to let
you know younger players play whatever they don't need him they don't want to get hurt and he said
i wanted to get mine after the last three or four years he was like he's he wanted to play more
today because he didn't get to play last year past yeah yeah so that's that doesn't matter anymore
that's this is the mentality though by the end of the year as we'll talk about it he really uh
he was stacking it up he would plow right into people by the way still trying to
run he puts his head down and fucking knocks right into everybody so he's not a smart way to run here
um he said paterno though said he he smiled when he thought about johnson trying to run people over
and destroy them he loved it he said it was like uh he said that he thought it was like larry
proving he was tougher than where he was from when the suburbs there.
He said, quote, Sandusky loved every second of it.
So much man on man.
He's like, look at that.
He's like, if only one of those kids was 11.
Shit.
If only they both weren't grown men.
This would be wonderful.
A guy can dream, Kenny.
So he Paterno said he wanted to be a hard-nosed kid
and i was trying to get that out of him i thought he was one of the best open field runners we ever
had now 2002 he start he plays in all 13 games 271 rushes how about that more than he's had in
this entire college career combined together he has 2087 yards wow that is uh crazy
he averages are you ready for this 10.2 no no he averages 7.7 a carry wow that's obscene that's
in the nfl four is pretty good 4.2 4.3 you're killing it 7.7 is there's no reason to do any other play mathematically you
just give him if you give him the ball three times he's getting 10 yards period like that's
definitely happening two times that's that's a first down i mean yeah even if they they guess
the play and stuff him on one of them he's gonna get it the next time like yeah that's a that's
crazy 20 touchdowns also unbelievable also 41 receptions for 349 yards and three touchdowns.
I don't think I knew he was that dominant in his senior year.
He broke the single game rushing record for the school three different times that year.
He broke it.
Broke his own twice.
Broke it, set it, broke his own, set a new one, broke his own, set a new one.
That's impressive.
He wins the Maxwellwell award the walter
camp award the doke walker award he's a unanimous all-american and first team all big 10 and uh
yep and the heisman voting comes up this is what he's wanted his whole life the heisman and he's
in the top you know he's one of the guys invited to the presentation in New York.
One of the top guys.
Did he get it?
No, he did not, actually, that year. Oh, good.
Well, he is third in the Heisman voting.
Ouch.
So, doesn't quite get it.
But, I mean, top three is pretty goddamn amazing.
That's amazing.
That's much higher than I've ever gotten.
He took a picture of himself by it, though.
Somebody else's truck.
Anyway, it was the family's computer wallpaper for years.
Literally, I'm not even kidding next to me me next to reggie bush's award next to carson palmer's heisman trophy is what it was me was it yeah me next to another ucla guy's
fucking heisman um us when i say ucla i meant i'm thinking trojans usc fucking you know oj simpson marcus allen
seeing the red helmet with the yellow i got the whole thing and i said ucla
there are two of the same letters in it so fuck yourselves okay it's pretty close
so he says uh larry says quote i always felt like i was a gifted player who kept getting put in the
back of the line he said that's when i learned to question my coaches that's why i started thinking
it was me and my father against the world that's where i get my scowl when it comes to trust i'm a
late bloomer okay so he doesn't trust anybody he's very angry and it looks like it's paid off he just
got every goddamn accolade you could get besides the Heisman, everything else.
He's breaking all the records.
He's a fucking, you know, he's amazing.
So now the NFL draft is going to come up here.
Now, his pick, by the way, the Chiefs pick was traded earlier.
There was some trading with the Steelers.
The Steelers traded. This is trading with the Steelers. The Steelers traded.
This is the pick the Steelers had originally.
They traded this pick with another pick to get some other pick to the Chiefs.
And basically, they ended up with Troy Palamalu out of this deal.
And the Chiefs ended up with Larry Johnson.
Both got a great deal.
Yeah, I mean, Palamalu a little bit better of a deal in the long term.
Yeah, I mean for for
a while the team for what they needed yeah for a while chiefs like those big bruising running
backs they like they christian akoya barry word you know fucking even priest holmes was a bruiser
even though he was really fast he was they like that bettis at this time so they don't even need
larry and they liked him barry foster before him. The Steelers, Franco Harris is the big giant.
They like a running back
that's six foot two,
250 pounds on the Steelers.
It's just the way they do shit.
2003 NFL Draft.
Jimmy, number one pick.
Number one and two.
Was it Carson Palmer?
There you go.
It's the first time
you've ever got it right
and that's because I told you
he won the Heisman.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have even thought.
No, I know.
Figured I'd have a gimme there. So he won the Heisman and then wouldn't have even thought i know that's what but i figured i could have a
gimme there with you so he won the heisman and then he was the first pick for cincinnati first
pick overall carson palmer to cincinnati number two overall one of the year terrible pick my god
i will have no idea charles rogers of det... What? He's had a lot of problems.
Yeah, he was gone and he barely played.
He played in 15 career games.
Where was he in college?
Where the hell was he?
Michigan State.
Okay.
And he's had a lot of problems, drug problems and everything since then.
Oh, man.
He went from Michigan State to Detroit.
To Detroit.
I mean, it's a lot of pressure.
It's right there.
Flint.
Flint.
So, Houston picks Andre Johnson, the very good wide receiver wow is he good good game our good career uh duane robertson a defensive tackle for the jets terence newman for the
cowboys defensive back very good new orleans picks a defensive tackle byron leftwich to the
jacksonville jaguars you have uh number 10 overall, Terrell Suggs, who will definitely have his own episode.
He's gotten arrested a lot.
He's a pretty bad man.
Oh, yeah.
Marcus Trufant, Ty Warren, Michael Haynes, Tripolamalu, 16, like we said, Calvin Pace there, Kyle Bowler.
Jesus Christ.
Wow.
That's no good.
Rex Grossman, number 22 overall.
Dallas Clark.
Willis McGahee.
Willis Clark.
Wait.
Willis Clark.
Dallas Clark.
Tight end.
He was great.
Yeah, very good.
Rex Grossman, not very good.
No.
And then finally, number 27 on the first round, the Chiefs pick up Larry Johnson there right
before Andre Wilfork
the defensive back
yeah, oh Asmaga was there too
defensive back, so interesting
anyway, 2003, he's on
Kansas City, this is a very good
team, they have Priest Holmes at the top of
his game by the way, so this
Priest Holmes this year had 1420
yards and 27 touchdowns
so that was when he said I think 1,420 yards and 27 touchdowns. My God.
So that was when he set, I think it was a record for running back touchdowns that year. Yeah.
So anybody with him on their fantasy team that year, they were sitting so pretty.
What was great about him was that he was an awesome runner, obviously, but he would run
out in the flat and catch dump-offs and go for fucking 30 yards.
Yeah, he was great.
He was great.
Yeah, he averaged 9.3 yards of reception in his career.
And I hated every fucking one of them. Yep. Trent Green was the great. Yeah, he averaged 9.3 yards of reception in his career. And I hated every fucking one of them.
Yep.
Trent Green was the quarterback.
Yeah.
Tony Richardson was their fullback.
That was an interesting team.
Tony Gonzalez at tight end.
What they don't...
Oh, Dante Hall, the little punt returner.
What they don't need, though, is another running back is the difference.
But they're stacking talent.
The team goes 13-3 that year.
I bet they did.
Not too bad.
They lost in the playoffs, didn't they?
They lost to Indianapolis in the first round, 38-31.
So that's one of those whoops.
That's tough under Dick Vermeule there.
Now, Larry didn't really play very much this year, like we said.
He kind of has some problems.
He plays in six games and doesn't start anything.
Only has 20 rushes for 85 yards. So not really doing much. said he's kind of has some problems he plays in six games only and doesn't start anything only
has 20 rushes for 85 yards so not really doing much and he's had a some interesting interesting
problems here he said that he's learned a lot of self-awareness this season and uh his four years
in college have taught him a lot of self-awareness his father perspective little introspective his
father says, quote,
Lowry understands failure.
He understands that to get to the top,
you've got to fall to the bottom.
Every time he's climbed to the top,
there's always been a mountain a little higher.
That's everywhere.
That's everything.
Welcome to life, sir.
Yeah, you just described life.
Every time you think you're like,
oh, finally, we're at the end of the range.
Oh, fuck.
God damn it.
It goes on so much farther.
Fuck it.
Let's eat each other.
Fuck it.
We'll set up camp and draw straws and whoever fucking loses, we're eating your ass.
I'm sorry.
I've had it with this shit.
That's how the Donner party happens.
So that's life.
Yeah.
The life is the Donner party.
There's another mountain and then you eat some guy from church.
That's how it works.
That's life, everybody.
So he said that he would be watching the games from the sidelines here.
He said that his family would come into town to go to the games,
and he was like he didn't even know what to say about them
because he didn't play at all.
He barely had any brushes.
If he got in for one play he would be like yeah big deal
um he said usually like for college they used to watch the highlights after the game like together
the family and all that he said it was pointless now because you weren't going to see him in there
you want to see trent green throwing a fucking dante hall on the flat is that what you want to
see we want to sit and dissect a play that Priest Holmes just fucking ran? No thanks.
He's pretty good, huh, son?
No, he doesn't want to deal with that.
He said, quote, I don't know why they would bring me in here when they already had Priest.
If you're not going to use me, why draft me?
Give it a sec.
Priest is fragile.
It's a running back.
Running backs are all fragile.
Right. And, I mean's you kind of have to sit
there so aaron rogers had to sit there for a few years it happens i mean running backs have a lot
shorter physical window though is the difference i think what they're saying like hey two years of
me on the bench is two years of me out of my fucking deal running backs are one of those
they're one of the easiest positions to hit the ground running in the nfl right you know they're quarterbacks of a hard time you get benched too long then your acl
startens to harden up and all of them get thrown in and you rip that fucker in half
science with jimmy wissman your acl hardens up if you're sitting too long
is that is that medical knowledge you have or was that just a theory i'm gonna write
books oh god please make youtube videos about things about medical things and there will be
people quoting it i saw a youtube video he made a very good point about a hardening of the acl
if they sit him on the bench any longer his acls are gonna pop and they put him in there
it's obvious.
It's clear.
Why doesn't everybody see this?
It's a conspiracy with medical science.
I hope they sit Brady down for a couple of games.
Things like concrete when he goes back out.
It's just going to pop, man.
So they just explode.
It's wild, man man you're like oh no
hardening of the acl yep that's what it was again god damn it
guys even when you're asleep be on a constant exercise bike sleep on a bike
it's gonna pop too long it's gonna blow up
oh man so uh meanwhile at one point when priest holmes was injured and johnson was going
to get a chance to play a little bit more vermeil said publicly that it's time for johnson to quote
take off his diaper oh my you know and step up and whatever and he was very pissy about that
larry didn't like that at all he thought that he took that as a huge slight which makes a lot of sense that hurts i
would too and uh so he said he would call his dad all the time his dad said that he you know would
call him all the time and kind of complain about what was going on and he said that uh larry senior
said he's holding that inside when the phone rings and it's larry i listen because i know he's getting
all of those things out.
He can quiet the storm and go back to being himself.
So he said that a few times when he was really upset, Larry would get on a plane and come to see his son in Kansas City.
Larry Sr. would.
He said, I wasn't afraid to get on a plane to Kansas City.
I heard it in his voice.
You could hear the tears running, but you can't see them.
You've got to go.
You can't just sit there. He was by himself. That's a man that needs therapy uh dad he needs help yeah he needs some form of help and you flying in from pennsylvania when he's upset isn't gonna really
he needs like a he needs a long-term yeah plan for this uh needs a longer term plan because he's got
more problems december of 2003. He's real bored.
He is not playing much.
They're not playing him.
So he makes his own entertainment by being arrested for domestic abuse.
So, yeah, aggravated assault and misdemeanor domestic battery.
Wow.
He is hanging out with an ex-girlfriend and he allegedly slapped her and waved a gun at her as he threatened her
during an argument oh larry uh you can't do either of those things no both bad larry well i just
told you kind of what happened in the police report thing or as larry puts it quote a misunderstanding
hey everybody don't misunderstand larry okay just uh heads up on that i told her there were
five fingers on a hand and uh 17 bullets in my pistol i was just showing her wow that's
she said 16 and that uh you know wouldn't leave a mark so this is crazy i know we're joking about
that but it's fucking insane i a misunderstanding those are a gun around
here's what you say didn't happen it happened and i feel bad and i'm sorry those are the only
two things you can say out of you can't say a misunderstanding what's the misunderstanding
what is that that's not what part didn't we get you know it's a misunderstanding you guys i accused
her of cheating so i beat the shit out of her yeah something like that turns out she wasn't cheating so that's a misunderstanding on my part i thought see i thought she was
cheating yeah that's so i waved a gun at her right right you understand now kansas city star
tribune right you get me this guy knows what i'm talking about they're like what the fuck is wrong
with him writing it down down man crazy man so
he's charged with that but um will this affect him with the team he's a sullen rookie and now
he's getting arrested for waving guns at women that's a problem let's find out let's check in
with the resident silver haired middle-aged white man on the team here dick vermeil and he's he
tells the kansas city star quote i've been told his side of it and I believe him I always believe
the player you know him so well
I always go to that side
yeah that's called exactly
what the fuck we just were talking about
you could win you could win silver
hair middle aged white man of the year with a quote
a fucking quote like that
that's and you know what the
scummies are coming up very soon
by the way the scummies are going to be at the beginning of February.
So they're ready for that quote.
I always believe the player.
It's hard not to be.
I always I always go to that side.
Well, you're crazy because we've done this show.
You haven't heard 285 fucking episodes of the show before this one, have you?
Dick.
Good Lord. haven't heard 285 fucking episodes of the show before this one have you dick good lord so anyway yeah 2003 like we said doesn't play very much uh 85 yards so 2004 he has to go to court
for his incident here and um he must perform community service and attend anger management courses.
And then if he does it, if he does.
No, on the outside.
And if he does that, prosecutors agree to drop the charges.
So it's a diversion program, basically.
And he must also stay out of trouble for two years and then they'll drop the charges.
This is the prosecutor quote.
We try to look at the case on its merits without looking at who did it.
While we certainly don't want to give professional athletes a break, we wouldn't want that we
wouldn't give someone else.
We don't want to treat them harder either.
Oh, yeah.
Wouldn't want to possibly do that.
Give him a chance.
Oh, come on.
Jesus, this guy.
I think he's good now.
I think this will probably he's learned his lesson.
It was just a misunderstanding.
Apparently, he waved his lesson. It was just a misunderstanding, apparently.
The man waved a gun at a woman.
He's clearly got some issues.
While threatening her.
That's important.
If you're threatening to kill somebody, that's bad enough.
But if you're doing it while waving a gun at them, makes it a little more real.
That could happen like that.
He also gets 120 hours of community service out of it.
So there's that.
His attorney said, quote, we are grateful for the granting of Larry's diversion.
He's a great young man and he'll make the best of it.
What do you think, everybody?
Is he going to make everyone out there in crime and sports land?
Everyone.
Is he going to make the best of it?
You think?
Let's all imaginary like one of like an old TV show.
You call one nine hundred.
So it'll cost you seventy five cents. But vote. Do you think it'll go well? Let's all imaginary like an old TV show. Call 1-900-SUN.
It'll cost you 75 cents.
But vote.
Do you think it'll go well?
I'm going to go no.
So 2004, Chiefs.
They go 7-9.
So no playoffs.
No nothing.
This year, though, he starts three games.
Priest Holmes is banged up a little bit.
This is where the diaper comment comes from.
So he plays in 10 games, starts three, has 120 rushes for 581 yards, 4.8 a carry.
So he's showing that's a good showing for himself.
Yeah, he's doing really, really well.
Has a good season.
Chiefs don't make the playoffs, but that's okay.
He's showing that he's something.
So 2005 season, right in the beginning of it, September of 2005,
he's going to be – they're talking about splitting carries this year between him and Brees Tolm, so he's going to be part of it.
Early, early morning here.
Early, what I mean is still dark out and enough –
the time where you're in a bar in Kansas City.
So that kind of early
morning he's there um he had to turn himself in eventually on a domestic violence domestic abuse
assault charge here what the fuck man apparently um the his girlfriend came into a bar into the
bar and saw him with another woman so this is how it started um his girlfriend a 25
year old here saw him and walked the other way and but he saw her too he saw them and she was
like oh fuck that and walked away so rather than him chase after her he texted her and was like
yo meet me downstairs because he didn't want to blow a spot up with the girl that he was with
either just in case this doesn't work i got this yeah he didn't want to blow a spot up with the girl that he was with either.
Just in case this doesn't work, I got this.
Yeah.
He wasn't even like, fuck, now I got to pick one.
He was like, I can still play this.
I can still make this work.
That's balls right there, man.
This is an NFL player with a two-minute warning.
Let's see.
How can I win this game?
I think I can do this.
I think I can do this.
So he texted her on her phone, asked her to meet him downstairs.
Yeah.
Once he got there, he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to the front door, where he then asked the manager to make her leave.
He was holding her, going, make this bitch leave.
And the manager said, I can't.
She's not doing anything wrong.
As a matter of fact, you're holding her by the arm violently.
Let go.
I think she'll leave.
I think, yeah.
So the manager said no.
And the manager then said that Johnson became irate after his, at that point, the girl he was with had wandered down to see what was going on.
So then the two women started arguing with each other.
So then the two women started arguing with each other.
So once they start arguing with each other, he then grabs his girlfriend by the shoulders and shoves her, causing her to fall down.
Oh, you can't do that.
He shoved a woman to the floor in the middle of a fucking nightclub when they were arguing.
Can't do any of that stuff.
No.
So, yeah, can't do any of that stuff.
So this looks bad for him pr is bad but a couple days later his girlfriend calls the kansas city star and says the police reports all wrong he didn't
push me there was also an accusation that he dragged that he uh dragged her a little bit too
at one point no pushing no dragging she said that she didn't want him
arrested and he just she just when the cops got there she said i don't even want him arrested i
just want the incident documented and they're like yeah we do that with arrests that's how
domestic violence works we document them by taking someone to jail usually we don't just write it
down and the thing is with those documents uh if that is documented there's oftentimes uh no no most
times no every time uh punishment yeah it's not you're not just fucking carving into the side of
a tree dv was here like it's not just fucking it's not a goddamn documentation it happens again
that's not a thing not happening so he did that uh she just said she wanted it documented and she said her friends
convinced her the next day to file a police report after seeing bruises all over her arm
so you can't leave bruises on people he posted bond and was released he also called it the what
why he got the last time it was a misunderstanding yeah This time is he only got arrested because of what he called, quote, an overly aggressive local law.
It's just this local.
It's a weird local law that we have.
Like, you know, some local laws, they have speed traps.
If you're going 37 and 35, boy, that's a ticket.
You know, like things like that.
It's one of those here.
Like they're extra sensitive about like roughing up your girlfriend in public.
It's really weird. Most places, as long as you don't close fist punch them, they'll give you an open hand up to two.
Not the back of your hand, the open palm.
You know how it works.
They rescinded the rule of thumb here, and I think it should be instituted.
I'm going to go ahead and call this an overly aggressive misunderstanding.
What do you say?
Good?
So, yeah.
Impressive misunderstanding. What do you say? Good. So, yeah, Coach Dick Vermeule, he just says that he knows that his players, they know that anything they do or are even accused of doing will be magnified League of making sure players are aware of their vulnerability, their profile.
There's no place to hide in Kansas City.
Our fans know our players.
To use common sense and be aware of the problem areas, stay out of the bad areas, be aware of certain things.
Don't be seen doing it is what he's saying.
Yeah, he's like, stay out of nightclubs.
If you're going to rough your wife up, your girlfriend, do girlfriend do it at home nice and calm they know who you are don't hit them where they can see wow silver dummy dick you're just ticking your way up to the fucking top of the list here for
this award dick's going home with a trophy this year i really feel like it is dick the one that
said playoffs is that him playoffs no no that's Jim Mora. Oh, Mora.
Dick Vermeule, he's the Rams coach that won with Kurt Warner there in the 99.
That's who I saw saying it.
Yeah, he's the guy.
Okay, yeah, they're both gray, silver-haired, middle-aged white men.
They're exactly what they are.
Like every other coach in the NFL for a time period.
They all look like that.
So he, like I said, this is the same guy cloned and given different jobs so he said vermeil also said this incident would not affect johnson standing with the team
that's not this that's absolutely not we we encourage this sort of behavior here in kansas
city two two incidents of putting his hands on oh jimmy too jimmy it's a misunderstanding and it's just an overly
it's an overly aggressive local law too it's overly aggressive misunderstandings they happen
jimmy he's literally been here that same amount of years he's averaging one incident with a woman
a year yeah you could put it that way but i mean if you want to put it a different way
yeah um she didn't have to come to the nightclub to look for him jimmy that's the but i mean if you want to put it a different way yeah um she didn't have to come to
the nightclub to look for him jimmy that's the thing i mean he she could have just you know been
cool with him out fucking around with other women and none of this would have happened i'm surprised
dick vermeil didn't say that right i mean he was trying to give her an autograph uh with his dick
on her tonsils and his girlfriend got upset. What is that?
He's out blowing off steam.
I think we got to let our players blow off steam.
Shame on you, Dick Vermeule.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, man.
The case eventually is ultimately dropped
after the girlfriend refuses to appear in court
for three different hearings.
Wow.
She won't come and bear witness.
And this is 2005 when cameras are not fucking everywhere. to appear in court for three different hearings. Wow. She won't come and bear witness, so there's no reason to try.
And this is 2005 when cameras are not fucking everywhere.
Yeah, they're not so.
Nowadays, any time you see a Kansas City Chiefs running back
arguing with two girls and they're fighting each other
and she's grabbing one of them.
There's a lot of people filming that.
There would have been a camera on the bar watching the fight,
and then there would be a camera at the door
watching it at the fucking front entrance as well. And the one on the outside as he stomps out all
mad and then the one in the elevator of her drilling her so 2005 the chiefs go 10 and 6
that year but don't make the playoffs that's rough oh this is when uh vermil was screaming
about that record and not making the playoffs.
He was furious.
Somebody was like eight and eight and made it, I think.
That's why.
So it was like, God damn it.
So now he ended up.
Yeah, he had some problems here, as we'll talk about.
And he ends up being, I guess, in September of two.
Oh, that was that last last yeah that's that arrest there
he um he that year the on the field he starts nine games out of 16 so they're splitting the
time between him and priest he ends up making the pro ball this year though he has 336 rush
rushes for 700 or i'm sorry 1750 yards and 20 touchdowns. Oh, my God.
Averages 5.2 per carry.
That is fucking good.
That's really good.
And almost, I mean, just shy of the record.
He was so close.
He's crushing it.
Yeah, he's absolutely crushing it.
So he.
The wait is over.
So far, you're not losing.
The only thing you're losing is my patience.
Quickly, I see that.
Ding!
The queen of the courtroom is back.
I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth if it came up
and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
OK, so, um.
This is not a so.
This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
The Emmy Award winning series returns. How did I i know that i have crystal ball in my head
it's an all-new season it's streaming you can say anything judy justice only on freebie
he uh it was this was after a a rough game after he got arrested there. He had 13 yards on eight carries against Denver and then came in there.
His brother at that point, Tony, moved from Pennsylvania to Kansas City to hang out with him.
And, yeah, his sister Teresa said, quote, he's himself when Tony's around.
He's at home.
He's not on edge.
So he calms him down.
He's the Larry Johnson whisperer. He's going to calm him down he's the larry johnson whisperer he's
gonna calm him down a little bit oh but that's his little sister okay larry's the oldest larry
tony theresa that's how the lineage comes here so he um yeah tony believed that you know he could
help him and uh he said he told larry i'm picking you first in my fantasy draft just to show how much faith I have in you.
There you go.
Also, you just had 1,700 yards.
I'm going to crush.
Yeah, no shit.
This is great.
I know when you're healthy.
You're not taking any chances by picking me, you son of a bitch.
I'm the best running back in the fucking league.
That's what I'm saying. Well, he said he ended up doing really well, and he said he had the best record in his fantasy league over that what i'm saying well he said uh he ended up doing really well
and he said he had the best record in his fantasy league over that he won his fantasy league thanks
to larry he said when he picked him people were saying he's not even gonna play what are you doing
this uh how the people were laughing at him he's like all right all right all right what so uh one
of his old coaches says larry is probably much the same as he was at penn state as he was here
as he was when he was an eight-year-old you have to keep going back to the same as he was at Penn State, as he was here, as he was when he was an eight year old.
You have to keep going back to the story when he was an eight when he was eight.
It's genetic. It was at that age and it's still there now.
He's unique. You could see it in his eyes. I know I wouldn't mess with him.
Me and two other guys, I wouldn't mess with him. So he's got an anger that people see.
There's one reporter asked the equipment guys for the Chiefs, what do people think about him?
Because this is what people don't realize.
This is like the waitstaff at a comedy club.
They act like they're invisible fucking people, but they're the people that know all the dirt they see and hear everything, and people treat them like they're not there.
So the equipment guys are the same thing.
They know when guys are assholes.
They know when guys treat them like shit.
They see when they're being dicks to their teammates. so they see you want an unbiased opinion ask the
equipment guy so they ask an equipment guy and um he asked two questions of the equipment guy
who was larry johnson's best friend when he was here and did you see anyone here that he really
trusted and his answers were himself as his best friend himself and no as
far as no trusting so no um they said he he whines a lot he receives special treatment he's misunderstood
he's misused he's always got a problem he's always got an issue um his father too he says that look
you know he said he feels like he's like a caricature. Now, Larry jr. He's like, it's like a caricature. Like he's the angry guy running and that's all
he can do. Larry senior says, don't make him a monster. He's not, it looks like he's running
with a chip on his shoulder, but he's running to prove that this is where he belongs. That's fine.
On the, if you just did that on the field and off the field, just you were a decent guy
and you didn't like get arrested for beating up women.
I don't think anyone would have a problem with it.
I really don't.
It's hard to prove you're not an angry guy when you're literally hitting women.
That's the issue.
Yeah, he's had a couple of problems.
So he sees that he would like when there's reporters in there, he's like he sits in his locker with like shit over his face, like looking on his phone like he doesn't want to talk to anybody.
Reporter, a reporter came up to him and said, you want to talk about the Pro Bowl?
And Larry just shook his head and then went back to his phone.
So the teammates were laughing and they were like, he's just a weird fucking guy, man.
That's all there is to it.
So he makes the Pro Bowl anyway that year, so that's good.
Now, 2006 season, he wants to be a team leader.
That's the thing about 2006.
He wants to change.
He's good now.
He's going to clean this whole thing up.
They said, this is a big fluff piece about him.
Big fluff piece.
So the first time, he's attended the team's voluntary off-season
conditioning program he uh one of their rookie defensive ends arrived at the kansas city airport
for minicamp and larry volunteered to go pick him up is that i'll get him yeah uh yeah he said i'll
get it was tom bahaly who's fucking he was a good player oh my god real good player fucking great
player he uh was he did he go to Penn State?
Maybe that's probably what it was.
Maybe.
Penn State.
So they said he's been talking more to his linemen, even if it's just bullshit.
He's been just bullshitting with them.
He's been talking to the people who protect his life and his knees.
He's helping the second-year fullback understand his role as a lead blocker.
He's helping him work that stuff out.
They said most of the Chiefs players, some of the people on the team, understand his role as a lead blocker he's helping him work that stuff out they said that he's uh
they said most of the chiefs players some of the people on the team has never even talked to him
before this year changed man they've been on the team with him for two years they've never even
spoken to him he's just don't even know his voice no he said the first couple of years larry was
here he would be off doing his own thing when the team got together this is will shields the guard
he says now he's a part of the group.
You see the running backs gathering around him in practice.
You see him interacting with teammates.
You definitely see a change.
Well, look at that.
He says that he even takes more time to sign autographs now.
Well, that's a big deal.
Change in his image.
He said he's joking more with teammates in the locker room.
His father, Larry, said that Larry is, quote,
really realizing the world is opening up to him,
and that's where he's going.
And where he's going is so much bigger than where he's been.
I would say, Jimmy, I would venture to say,
would you back me up on this?
Yeah.
He's good now, right?
He's good now.
That's it.
At least by his father.
I mean, end of the episode.
Really, it's a short one
everybody but i mean cleaned up his act did great had a great life punch two chicks moving on yep
nope uh 2006 season nine and seven new coach this year coach herm edwards now is in the next that's
right i forgot herm coach herm's here very short amount of time for Herm. Because they have a terrible season under Herm.
Really?
Oh, a real bad one.
So 9-7, no playoffs.
Larry makes the Pro Bowl this year.
Starts all 16 games.
Sets an NFL rushing record for most attempts in a single season.
Is that right?
So if you're talking about brain damage a guy that
leads with his head rushed for 416 attempts in a 16 game season oh my that's too much that's too
many what is that that's perm edwards banging away that's so fucking many 1789 yards 4.3 per carry
so that's just a lot of rushes man that's too many too too fucking
many so that's that he has but i mean it's a great year for him makes the pro bowl sets a record um
his brother said there's always a reason uh for his mistakes and sometimes he's the reason but
they said that he is cheerful and social at times. He's sullen and isolated at other times.
They said, though, he says he does okay.
The only thing that they said, though, he does carry around guns with him all the time.
He's got a white Bentley.
Apparently, they said some night, this is, I think, from his brother, that some nights, or from an article here, that he would just fire rounds off as he drove just to feel alive.
That's illegal as fuck.
Or make sure he had his pistol with him at a gas station, hoping like if he stops for a late night gas fill up on his Bentley that somebody would try to fuck with him.
And then he could like, I don't know, kill him in a fucking gas station parking lot.
Do not wish for that.
No, no, that's not but he said he
wanted people to test him he wanted to be tested because he's tough and he wanted to show it
they said that uh you know he just wanted to show everybody he became uh he's kind of a celebrity
now now he's becoming a celebrity becomes pals with jay-z is that right oh him and jay-z were
tight for a while yeah they were buddies man to the point
where in 2007 he appeared in uh two different videos here fantasia's music video for the song
when i see you and then he was in jay-z's music video for fucking rock boys so there you go right
he was in that he's in two different videos but so he's got like this very different life that he's
leading then it's very strange he said that though the aggression became a
switch he couldn't shut off that's what he said just so aggressive yeah he said
quote those two combinations of being angry and not being able to shut that
switch off started to disrupt who I really was. And it was just waiting to eat me up or women in nightclubs,
either one,
just wait and eat somebody up 2007,
Kansas city.
They go four and 12 under Herm Edwards.
And,
um,
but in the beginning of the year,
he holds out for training camp and ends up getting a huge contract where it
includes a $ million dollar guaranteed
nut there oh god 19 million guaranteed we're gonna go ahead and say it here that's grace
oh that's grace my god he just say setting records he's rushing for a lot he's in jay-z
videos he's signing for 19 million he's grace there um that's incredible yeah by the way this year four and twelve don't
blame herm edwards for this totally unless unless he cut better quarterbacks because here are their
quarterbacks for this season okay okay damon heward started 10 games brody croyle started six
games oh my and they also had Tyler Thigpen playing a game.
So that's their quarterback.
So you can't expect any success if you're the front office,
if you give a guy that as a fucking.
That Croyle was so bad.
He is rank, man.
He's fucking terrible.
He's so bad.
He's so bad.
He had six touchdowns, six picks.
And Heward had 11 touchdowns, 13 picks.
And Thigpen had no touchdown touchdowns one pick in six attempts
that is fucking awful so bad um larry this year uh plays in eight games starts all eight of them
because he had a knee injury halfway through the year too right 158 rushes 559 yards only 3.5 a carry so not too great but the injury and all that
they're hoping everything's fine february 2008 things are not fine when a uh he's arrested
when a 26 year old woman accuses him of punching her or pushing the side of her head with an open hand i'm sorry at the grand emporium
saloon on february 24th telling her quote don't touch me as he made his way through the club
he like mushed her he fucking stiff arm mushed her because he was she was coming near him in
the club which you know don't touch me don't touch me so um he's arrested for that he faces a maximum
of six months in jail for this because he's just just happens all the time it's at this point that
jay-z jay-z emails him and cuts him off from friendship he said look man sorry i can't deal with bitches and hoes in song this is a guy
who made an entire album yeah that was just specifically about selling crack that was the
entire album the whole reasonable doubt album is just like i'm selling crack i'm selling more crack
and i got fucking this and that oh here's biggie he's gonna talk about selling crack too and let's
talk about how we both sell crack. That's the whole fucking album,
which you don't have to actually do that.
Here's a song about all of my problems,
but guess what's not one, James?
Guess what's not.
Guess what's not.
You know, I thug them, fuck them, love them, leave them,
because I don't fucking need them.
Can't be friends with you, though.
You're not nice to women.
Take them out the hood, keep them looking good,
but I don't fucking feed them.
But I also don't mush through the nightclub.
I can't be friends with you.
I can't be friends with you.
Why?
Because it's embarrassing to me.
That's why.
It's embarrassing.
It's just getting embarrassing.
You make me look bad.
You're making me look bad.
Also, not to bring politics into this, but this is 2008 and i think he was also like campaigning for
obama at this point also so you didn't want to be like oh that's the guy who hangs out with the
running back who beats the shit out of women in nightclubs right so i don't know if that was part
of it as well but either way fucking cuts him off via email no good he didn't even call him nope emailed him like it's a business transaction
we'll no longer be needing your services now that i meant to message you here just because
now you have outlook open go ahead and delete all those calendar notifications
go ahead please go ahead and take all those all those white parties and and
we did have a music video plan that's not gonna happen now um you're not invited to the pimp and
hoe party yeah we had that weekend where beyonce was going out of town that was a good we were
really gonna have a good time that weekend that's over that's amazing that's my favorite
my favorite little anecdote of this whole thing
and then but he did back it up with his actions when a you know a woman beat the shit out of him
in an elevator he didn't hit her back so there you go what his fucking put his fist where his
mouth is or where's uh where his fingers are he took it walked away so 2008 kansas city as if things couldn't get any worse 2008 there were 2 and 14 that's bad
that's fucking bad is that real oh yeah they were 2 and 14 not i don't remember that that was a low
point there real bad shit and uh larry was like tweeting negative shit about herm edwards and
wasn't good things weren't going well here he gets benched for uh the game against tennessee for quote violating an undisclosed
team rule oh you know the one where we say don't talk shit openly about us all don't talk don't
tweet about your coach saying that he sucks so that's october 19th he said uh edwards wouldn't
say what rule he broke,
but he just said his decision had nothing to do with the earlier arrest or
anything like that.
Um,
he said,
anytime you're missing a good player,
I think it always hurts you.
He also said,
but you see other players elevate their game too.
So this is the first time it's happened to him.
And hopefully it'll be the last that I have to do with anybody.
I have to do it to anybody on this football team to sit them down. i had to do it one time as head coach of the jets in five years
i hope it never happens again so he said he's not suspended he's deactivated there's a difference
here there's a difference call my head a milk dud yeah you can't do that on twitter so now we've
heard a lot about larry in in a particular scope of him.
There's a certain kaleidoscope we're seeing him through here, which seems to be a pretty accurate one. But there's also a very odd flip side to this.
Very weird article in Sports Illustrated about this couple named Ryan and Sarah McQueary.
sarah mcqueary all right they are a just a you know run-of-the-mill couple who lives in kansas city and who happen to live in a house next door to a house bought by larry johnson and they hate
every second of it they fucking love him oh is that right best buddies he fucking watches the
bachelor with them and shit it's he's like surrogate son. It's weird as shit.
Okay, so.
How old are these people?
Older than him.
Not much, but older than him.
Not in their mid-20s.
Put it that way.
They have young kids and a house and all that.
So she said the first time they were there, they saw him outside.
And they were like, one day, they were like, well, you should come to your new neighbor.
You should come for dinner. And so he was like, all right. And they were like at one day and they're like well you should come a new neighbor you should come for dinner and so he was like all right like and they were like okay so come this night he was like okay so he showed up she said his dad was her her husband was out
barbecuing and you know so he's just sitting in the living room and she said like he didn't say
wouldn't say two fucking words just sat there silent like like he's talking
to the media she said how do you like kansas city and he said it's fine yeah she said how's how's it
going with the chiefs and you know you like it and she he said okay she's like this is the greatest
conversation ever i love him she goes do you have a girlfriend and he goes nope i'm not allowed and he's like she's like uh honey let's just go rare
fuck medium rare just rare just pull them off i think i think it's time to eat let's let's get
him the fuck out of here yeah they said that even when you know when uh um the husband came back
they were all eating dinner drinking wine they're trying to start conversation and he's just stone-faced drinking his wine eating his dinner nodding along but not saying shit like
can't read him he's he's like wallpaper just there's no way to read the fucking guy
so they said that you know they ended up drinking like two bottles of wine just to try to loosen up
and maybe hey maybe we put some wine in him to loosen up a little bit like they're trying to
fuck him or something and they uh didn't happen and uh yeah they said yeah he just was like all right thanks
for dinner i'm gonna leave now and as he left they were just like well it's yeah if you ever need
anything doors always open for you you know you're always welcome in our home anything you need your
bubble boy thanks and he left so then two weeks later they were out shopping and they came home and heard thumping
in the basement uh-oh so they thought there was an intruder in the house they put all their shit
down some yeah some for something that's going to cause them to grab a baseball bat and start
descending the basement steps now so that's what they do they uh you know head on down there and
they said oh shit it's getting louder and louder. They get over.
They look in a corner and there's Larry Johnson jogging on their treadmill, waving.
Hey, guys.
Said big smile on his face.
How you doing?
Good.
Nice to see you.
Just he's in like in his full workout clothes.
Just good sweat going just on the treadmill, running his ass off.
Hi, everybody.
Oh, yeah. he's been working
out he just came over to work out they're like been here since you left hey lar how's it going
good to see you guys you know thumbs up and he keeps running there like that was weird
just like they were i guess we're all best pals now um yeah and they became they ended up being
very good friends he would fucking hang out with
them they have a two-year-old daughter and uh by the way they they have the couple has a big
framed uh chief's jersey with uh larry johnson saying to the best note best neighbor ever
larry johnson and uh it was the uniform the jersey that he scored his first NFL touchdown in.
He gave to his neighbors.
What a gift.
And signed it with, like, best neighbor ever.
And he gave it to him after his rookie season.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
He said that, they said getting him to open up is hard.
But over time, if you keep, if you're consistent, he's like a stray cat.
Like, if you're consistent over time if you keep if you're consistent he's like a stray cat like if you're consistent over time yeah you gotta look you gotta overlook some b and e from time to time yeah i mean yeah
you gotta look at b and e you don't want to let your wife piss him off because he will mush her
he will mush her face and throw her to the ground so you got to do that but if you're real nice to
him and you just overlook some b and e's you let him exercise when he wants to he's really not
a bad guy honestly i half expected you to say he was like uh hammering nails to hang a fucking tv
for them and he was about to sit down and watch tv in the basement it's much more comfortable
because he's sweating and smiling as he runs on their treadmill. He put his workout shit on and was like, well, I'll go next door to my neighbors and use their treadmill.
I could either buy a treadmill or, you know, while I was over for dinner, they had one.
Or I could go to the state-of-the-art facility that the Chiefs have for us that I could use any piece of equipment I want.
Multi-million dollar facility.
I could go there.
My neighbors had a pretty sweet treadmill down
there when they gave me a tour i got a fucking uh cross country down there i think i'm doing that i
think it's a lot easier here so they said he comes over like kramer though he just pops in unannounced
and just like fucking hi guys opens the door and they're like hey larry like he's kramer that's who he is he's their kramer so when i was a kid uh uh dan marley lived down the street from us uh not dan marley what am i
doing it was cedric sabalos those are very different people yeah i don't know where the
fuck dan marley lived doesn't matter not there cedric sabalos lived down the street from us and
thinking about it now had i come home and said sitting at my table eating leftovers i would
have been over but i'm a child you're a child as adults you're like over the moon about it this
motherfucker broke in our house that's what you think as an adult b and e would be the last thing
on my mind i'd be like what around the house can i have him right on awesome i'd hope he'd break in
just so i can hang out with him i don't care. It's fascinating what we would overlook.
Oh, his children.
Yeah, you don't know.
It's fucking weird.
And he still just comes in like Kramer.
Hey, guys.
Just pops in.
And that is a fascinating neighborhood, too, because there is a street.
It is 26th Street.
East of 26th Street, houses are $88,000.
West of 26th Street, $2.4 million.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a very, there's a definite divide.
Very definite.
Blue collar, unbelievably rich people.
House is built in 1972.
House is built in 1989.
That's the difference of those.
And state of the art.
State of the art.
Not the fucking.
Weekend at Bernie's, 1989.
They're amazing. Not the beige raised ranch from the fucking weekend at bernie's 1989 they're amazing not the beige
rage raised ranch from the fucking 72 there's not a shingle to be found up there god i hate
that fucking place with all of my fucking passion it's the worst man it is so fascinating like if
you live at like 2601 you look right across the street and you're like, oh, I could have it all.
Those people are living it.
It's a fact to it right there.
It's the butts right up to it.
It's fucking believable.
So he.
Wow.
They also said he's very generous.
One time a kid showed up at his door to raise money for a youth uh program and um they
were like oh my god they recognized who he was so he gave him five thousand dollars for their program
he was like all right you check for five grand there you go little motherfucker walk around
selling candy bars i guess i don't know what the fuck it was for but uh he said that he did it and
um uh his brother said when he went to the pro bowl his brother went for but uh he said that he did it and um uh his brother said when he went to
the pro bowl his brother went with him and he said that he was like walking around like a little kid
all awestruck by all the all-star you know all the all-star players all the pro bowlers and he said
his brother actually told him like you realize that you play in the nfl too like it's like peyton
man running up to wide receivers going can i have have your autograph? Hey, wow, this is cool, man.
And he's not like he's not a rookie.
So the McQueeries said they watched The Bachelor with him.
He plays Xbox games with the kids.
They go on Dairy Queen trips together.
He comes with them on Dairy Queen.
He's like their older kid.
He's home from college, kids.
He's going to get a diddly cone.
After his first career touchdown
he invited them out to the capitol grill for dinner to celebrate that he got a touchdown
that's fucking amazing and then gave him gave them his uniform and then gave the jersey at the end of
the year they said that um he liked he seemed to like their family oriented atmosphere and uh
seems like he needed their support as far as like just
emotionally as far you want to stop in and have a family dinner sometimes and stuff like that
whether we're home or not and uh tony richardson tried to be cool with him too he tried to be a
mentor to him after he got arrested in december 2003 uh he said that quote larry had a big brother
in richardson this is his sister talking larry's sister he larry had a big brother in richardson this is his
sister talking larry's sister he said he had a big brother in richardson and he had another mommy and
daddy and sarah and ryan they helped him stay motivated and strong they helped him be the guy
his real family knows oh his real family yeah this is ridiculous you can see we got a totally wrong view of him. Totally wrong view.
We let a couple of incidents completely shade how we felt about a person and we didn't know the flip side of it.
So now howdy is everybody feel?
Jimmy, don't you feel dumb?
I feel dumb.
Everyone out there, you feel dumb.
Like a judgmental prick.
So judgmental.
Well, luckily, in October 2008 2008 he redeems us because he gets
arrested again so he redeems our original thoughts here i'll give you a guess of what he's fucking
arrested for let's see here uh he's arrested and charged with one count of non-aggravated assault
for spitting a drink in a 24 year old woman's face and threatening to kill her boyfriend at a kansas city nightclub that's a
what oh what do you gotta do lar lar lar lar buddy what do you gotta do to to get somebody
to spit a drink at you that's what i mean the the woman told police that johnson's bodyguards
now he rolls with bodyguards. Then tackled her.
He's like, well, I can't be fucking up women.
I'll hire other people to take the rap for that shit.
Tackled her and that bouncers from the club escorted her outside.
Johnson also apparently tried to spit on her three more times while walking to his car after the club manager asked him to leave.
She filed a civil suit against him as well, accusing him of negligence, assault and battery,
intentional infliction of emotional distress and negligent infliction of emotional distress. So that is a if you are a and I don't know what to fucking call.
He's certainly a person in the spotlight.
And he's a star player star running back you can't expect to to live a life you can't go out in public and
not expect people to talk to you or at least want to and if you do you either have to be real
friendly or real fucking uh you know really good at going in the back door and getting in the
corner you can't be the center of attention and also not have people talk to you you gotta understand that about 30 percent of the public
are gonna let you do that and then the other 70 percent are either going to gawk or try to talk
to you or try to get something yes that's just that's just us that's what people do it is that's
what remember i told you uh i don't remember what episode it was but it was i said sammy sosa used
to come into the bar i worked at and he'd fucking pull up front with a giant limo and get out with a huge white fur coat on.
With a fucking knee-length white fur coat on in July in Phoenix and fucking in an entourage, walk right in the front door, and then ask us to keep people away from him.
No, sir.
He's like how you just fucking
you just you put up a bat signal and then we're like just don't let don't let anybody come near
me this is a teamwork thing and you've done none of your part so why should i do mine he could
have brought you in a side door put you in a room where no one else was you could have hanged out
you want to sit while everyone stares at you and goes, oh my God, that's Sammy Sosa.
That's what you want.
But you don't want to actually talk to any of them.
You just want to be admired from a distance.
Fuck out of here with that.
And that's weird.
You can't do that.
No.
That's weird.
So the team at this point,
it's been disclosed that the police and the NFL
are investigating the report that he spat several times
on the woman in the nightclub.
Edwards said that they bench him for this week, too, just for that.
Larry steps up to the podium, and he makes an apology for this, though.
He's got to apologize.
He's going to own it, huh?
Well, I think the team has told him, you need to fucking fix this shit.
Get out there and say something.
You spit on a woman.
So they said a nervous-looking Larry Johnson came up there, and he said, quote,
I want to start off by saying I apologize to the Hunt family.
That's who owns the Chiefs.
My family, first and foremost, the fans, teammates, coaches, and players.
What about the girl you spit in her fucking face
no no no no no no i don't think so what about her no there's an equipment guy that i feel like i've
wronged more than that so i'm gonna talk let's do it in their own let's do it in their own words
what do you say for this i think i think we need to know literally the end of the apology list uh
no that says the end of his list.
Okay.
In their own words, quote,
This is the first time in my life I actually had to stand up.
I mean actually woke up the kind and kind of be disgusted with myself
and disgusted as far as the way my life and career is headed right now.
I can't speak any further on the legal issues other than to say the truth will come to light.
And I promise not only to the fans, not only to my teammates, players, coaches, GMs, and my own family,
that I do anticipate seeking help to get better as far as getting my life on track,
knowing what I want out of life, not necessarily football, and just work as hard as I can,
not only being a good football player, but obviously being a son of the National
Football League, a son of my own family, hopefully a brother, a future father, a future husband.
And the reporters stood there with their mouths open.
Yeah, like you spit Patron on a chick.
Like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Don't act like, don't get deep with us.
You didn't say a fucking word about her not a
fucking word is the other thing you just described to help me to get help for an unmentioned problem
that i won't talk about this is the first time i'm being introspective i've punched three women
that's just the ones who've come to the police with it two of them were in public he also says he promised to work hard to quote get my life
back on track and know that i and i alone put myself in these critical situations and environments
to where things don't come out favorably to me all i can do is promise to you guys and to people
who are watching that as a man i'm still growing and as a man everyone makes
mistakes then he says in times of darkness you've got to look for the light and that's what i plan
on doing regardless of what suspensions and fines are being handed down i will take them as sincerely
as they as they give them out so that is a disaster that's not what you want this guy to say at all.
That was horrible.
You're like, so you're not going to say shit about your son?
Nothing?
He's going to let that go, huh?
You blasted a $13 shot in a woman's face?
What about that?
I mean, that's something.
Sure.
Why not here?
So this season couldn't be any more of a fucking disaster
for the chiefs between him and their record and everything else this is fucking suck that press
conference might be the worst part of it that might be worse than being 2 and 14 somebody on
your team went out and said that i can't believe a pr person was like perfect now say it's what
right so i say i think somebody read that i think
no he said that he read that right but somebody read that and was like beforehand yeah i feel like
they didn't that's what i'm gonna say i feel like the chiefs were like let's see your statement he
was like nah man nah it's personal and i got this i can no no i'm gonna make this right i'm making
this right and they were like i guess he's gonna make it right i mean i guess we gotta trust him and then he went out there and said that they were like ah for christ's sake jesus
we write these from now on right right where the hell was adam schlechter not going
no don't why are you doing this excuse me schlefter schlefter there you go you know his you know his
wife his his wife's husband before him died on 9-11 and his name was adam and then they got
married oh wow that's isn't that weird yeah that's a lot yeah there was something else with it too
that makes it weirder, but that's true.
Something else, too.
The shit's creepy, man.
That's all I'm saying.
Schefter's wife's ex-husband was also named Adam.
Maybe it's Schefter.
What the fuck do I know?
You were like, his wife.
His wife's husband.
And I was like, huh?
His wife's ex-husband.
My fucking brain broke for a second. His wife is a widow, and he died on 9-11.
Wow.
And his wife's dad, Adam, died, and now he's back,
not questioning Larry Johnson's crazy fucking press conference.
Standing there with a fucking notepad, just writing all this shit down.
This is what he said, everybody.
Nope, that's it.
The fuck, Adam.
So he doesn't have a great year on the field in 2008 either.
so he doesn't have a great year on the field in 2008 either 193 rushes in 12 games for 874 yards and uh five touchdowns averages four and a half a carry which is pretty good but just doesn't
carry the load the whole time which you'd kind of i don't know if i had like a twisted ankle
and we're two and 13 i might be like yeah i don't think I'm playing this week, Coach. I'm kind of hurt. We're 2-13.
Like, fuck this shit.
No way.
So March of 2009, this is court.
He pleads guilty to two counts of disturbing the peace regarding the two incidents in 2008.
So they made a deal with him.
Both of his arrests crammed him into two disturbing the pieces.
And we'll call it good.
Two very minor incidents.
Very minor.
Yeah, according to this. He is sentenced to, you, sir, may fuck off two years probation with a chance to have
his record cleared for good behavior if he doesn't do anything.
So he just keeps skating on it.
Now, he's got new coaches here.
Herm Edwards gets fired.
So he spoke positively about the change in coaches.
And then before the season, he said that, you know, he wanted out of here.
He said, I want out of here.
Oh, no, he said, I want to be here.
I want to be here because of the commitment to winning.
He says that the new offensive coordinator, Todd Haley, his system suits me fine.
And my decision to stay here is based on what those guys are doing here.
It's going to be great.
We're good.
We're good now.
We are good.
All kinds of access to a treadmill.
It's going great.
I can do any time I want.
So then he starts tweeting, though.
He starts tweeting about Todd Haley. The Chiefs were beating 37-7, and he tweets, quote,
My father played for the coach from Remember the Titans.
Our coach played golf.
My father played for the Redskins briefly.
Our coach, nothing.
That was Todd Haley as the – he was an assistant coach and got bumped.
I think he was.
He was an offensive coordinator at that point.
So he came in as a new.
It was a new hire here.
Got it.
I mean, he came in with the head coach.
So and he got obliterated on the sideline.
There was all kinds of arguments.
So this makes.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This was this is why his dad.
He also, as we'll talk about, really likes to tweet gay slurs a lot.
He really enjoys that.
And we'll get into what they are, but his dad said he's embarrassed by that.
He was embarrassed and hurt by his son's use of gay slurs, Larry Johnson Sr.
He says, quote, that's just not who we are and not what we believe.
He said, it's not how he was raised.
It's tough for me as a father, he to see him labeled as uh uh homophobic he said he does not hate gays that's
not larry and that's not our family he's my son you can't disown him we can just talk to him and
listen to him and help him move forward so this is if you have an idiot in your family who puts
up crazy facebook posts you go well what do you do here you have to decide how close am i to this person you know okay am i close enough to disown them
it's hard if it's a parent or you know or a kid it's that's a difficult disowning it's even harder
when like when the kid that you raised is your junior and is now making shit piles of money and
probably supporting you it's impossible to cut that kid out of your life or at least give him any sort of uh talking to as a as a father yeah i mean luckily my family are all
broke shit bags and i could get rid of them pretty quick yeah i can't i couldn't embarrass my family
there's no way because they'd be like well you have no there's no standing to knock down a peg
what are you embarrassing no one cares about any of you there's no lineage
there's no yeah there's nothing to to embarrass yeah it's impossible to embarrass trash we can't
embarrass each other that's why thankfully my my family does not pay my bills and i need them
for zero that's the other thing yeah you're if you're in my family and I talk to you, it's because I like you. I need you.
And you should be thankful.
Yes.
That's what I'm saying.
So now he apologizes as well.
Larry's got his own apology.
Here we go.
This is the second one in like three months where he's apologizing again.
Jesus Christ, Larry, you fucking jackass.
So he says that, yeah, okay.
Quote, first of all, I want to apologize to the fans of the Kansas City Chiefs and the rest of the NFL, Commissioner Goodell, the Chiefs organization, Coach Todd Haley, his staff, my teammates for the words I used yesterday.
That's when he was ripping Todd Haley.
Quote, I regret my actions.
The words were used by me in frustration, and they were not appropriate.
I did not intend to offend anyone, but that's no excuse for what I said.
I also want to apologize to all the kids who view athletes as role models.
I was not a good role model yesterday, and hopefully I can become a better role model.
We all make mistakes, and the challenge is to learn from them.
I will do my best to learn
from this one as i move forward toward becoming a better person teammate and member of the kansas
city chiefs team and community oh yeah um yeah so he said that then he said oh no sorry this is
uh associated press guy said it's up to the n NFL to investigate it and see what they want to do. And we will respond accordingly.
We've apologized.
This is what they told this guy.
We've apologized.
Larry's trying to move forward.
It is what it is right now.
So there's that.
That's a frustrated guy saying it is what it is.
Now, fans at this point start signing petitions.
This is later on.
They start signing petitions over his.
They want him to not be on the team anymore over his slurs.
He was 80 yards away from becoming the Chiefs all-time rushing leader, which is amazing considering he's barely played for them.
They don't want him to make history.
The petition says, Larry's been a black eye on the organization.
We're asking you as fans of this team, this organization,
and the pride of this city as in the Chiefs,
please deactivate Larry Johnson.
Please do not let his name sit atop the all-time rushing leaders
in Kansas City Chiefs history.
Oh, boy.
So they start him.
So they cut him.
Really?
They cut him.
Yeah.
We were in Kansasansas city they're
crazy for the chiefs there they really are and if the fans want something you kind of have to
give it to them because they'll still sell out if you're four and twelve so it's like you kind of
have to you kind of have to do it so he ends up being cut and signing a deal with this is in the
middle of the season with the bangles um doesn't
start any of the seven games and then the bangles cut him as well it's at the league minimum also
is what he signs for oh my god so this season for kansas city he plays in seven games has 132
rushes or 132 rushes for 377 yards which is less than three a carry that's terrible then he plays 46 rushes for 204 yards
for cincinnati not great um and he was cut i don't think i remember anything beyond this from him
either so that is amazing it's wild so july of 2010 um he's in court guess why you think he
hootie punch well he didn't punch anybody he punch? Well, he didn't punch anybody. He failed to do shit.
He didn't do his community service.
Oh, Larry.
So a judge pulls him in and yells at him and said that he, quote, puts people in jail every
day for not doing community service.
But he says that he chooses not to do so here and reinstates his probation.
Because he's like, if you actually do the community service, since you're famous, it
would probably be, you know, good for the community. That'll be great. You you could talk to some kids and shit let's see if you'll do it again so uh the
prosecutor prosecutor said he was supposed to send a monthly form to his probation officer but failed
to do so larry did and also failed to report to his probation officer that he had been stopped by
police in virginia and cited for not having a driver's license. What the fuck?
So he didn't say that either.
Either way, he walks out of the courtroom smiling,
and he signs with the Washington Redskins.
He signs a three-year deal with the Redskins.
They have Clinton Portis there,
and they're hoping to have a two-headed monster of a big back and a small back.
Run that shit in the NFC.
Running that shit together. And so he's that shit together and so he's gonna do that he's doing well he moves to washington and he's like new start
yeah first of all who around me has a treadmill is the first thing i gotta find out is there a
neighbor with a decent exercise room number one then he says wait a second i'm an nfl player like
i got 19 million dollars out of the Chiefs.
I should probably have my own workout room.
And as a matter of fact, I need a little bit of everything here, a little bit of that.
But also, at the same time, I better start looking forward to other careers as well.
So I got a lot going on.
If there was only two people out there that could help me, if there was a combination of people that could help me with both problems that would be great and then sure enough there's a knock at the
door and it's together it's vince mcmahon and dexter manley ceo and chairman of the wwe and
interior decorator from new york city they're both there to solve all of larry's problems
and they both say.
How is it that you've come to arrive here?
You beautiful bastard.
You look at you.
So it's Vince.
Just calm.
OK, don't mind him.
Jesus Christ.
How is it you've come to arrive here?
Please, seriously, tell me.
You're a fucking mess.
You're spitting alcohol at women in public?
That's, no.
I'm sorry.
Gross.
Embarrassing your family.
You, sir, are the definition of white trash.
I'm sorry.
I don't care how big your,
you broke into a neighbor's house and used their treadmill.
Did you leave like a big shit log in their toilet as well you're white trash you're white it doesn't matter what he is he can be white trash he can be purple trash he can be
any color trash he wants he's beautiful look at him he's huge he's aggressive his brain is
permanently scarred and marked and damaged so he won't know what he's doing.
And eventually he'll die in an Orlando, Florida hotel room like Bob Saget.
Like everyone who's ever worked for me will eventually do.
Okay, Vince.
Yeah, so anyway, Trash and keep him in mind for the future and we're gonna go now
bye and poof in a stack of feathers and 1099s floating through the air they're gone and blood
stained hotel checks blood stained hotel checks and larry's just sitting there going did was that
and how much brain damage do I have?
Because I don't know if that shit was real or not.
That helmet in Cincinnati is actually an NFL player's brain.
That's what those colors.
That's what that is.
That's what that represents.
Oh, God.
That's amazing.
So they had all of these guys.
They had Clinton Portis.
They had Willie Parker from the Steelers there that year.
They had him.
All of these running backs that were good for a few years a while back,
they put them all together and hoped one of them would be lightning in a bottle, basically.
That's the thing.
Which one of these aging wonders will be the trick we need?
Which one of these broken-down guys who's 27 is going to be the one that'll help us?
Yeah.
So Johnson said it was a ragtag team.
He said it was like the Bad News Bears meets the Little Giants.
There was too much going on for anyone to know anything.
What?
We were playing Ed O'Neill's team? Is that what he meant? That's what he said that he said we're playing ed o'neill's team is that what he meant that's what
he meant yeah he said that shanahan was a fucking mess in his coaching he liked he wanted to get rid
of the the famous running backs because he said you know shanahan likes those no-name running
backs he wants to find some guy from the seventh round and fucking play him so he looks like a
genius that's his whole fucking game he's like has nothing to do with who's good he was talking all the shit about shanahan he uh the redskins go six
and ten that year yeah shanahan never did much it was not shanahan in denver which is good for him
man he made a fucking killing oh god yeah he better kiss john's balls every day for the rest of his life he went and got tens of
millions guaranteed because of shannon sharp and john elway terrell davis yeah fuck man it's so
true too shannon had his fucking cross-eyed looking son of a bitch he looked he i mean to
this day he hasn't had success no i. I never thought I ever liked him.
He's got his balls kicked in for the next 15 years.
Elway was good, right?
We won once.
Twice.
That's me.
I did that.
Yeah.
This is the year Donovan McNabb is in Washington.
Oh, boy.
Rex Grossman backing him up here.
It's not the best year for for them at all they go six and
ten like we said doesn't matter much for our guy here larry johnson because he only plays in two
games is that right two games five rushes two yards ouch that's that's his and then he's released
that's like three quarters of a yard of carry that is terrible yeah that is uh
0.4 yards per carry not even half not even a half a yard of carry it's not good
he describes shanahan's coaching as dysfunctional and he said i had shanahan telling me i was
getting released then another executive
was shocked that i was being released so i was like all right who ain't talking to who he's like
he didn't even know what the fuck they were doing there but it's okay september 3rd 2011 i'm sorry
right before that this is really weird beginning of september he's signed by the dolphins okay
like two days later he's cut by the dolphins yeah then on september Like two days later, he's cut by the Dolphins.
Yeah.
Then on September 8th, five days later, he's re-signed by the Dolphins.
What the fuck happened?
Then on September 20th, he's cut by the Dolphins again.
So I don't know what the fuck was going on there. Did we fuck up?
Let's sign him again.
No, we definitely didn't fuck up.
Oh, no.
We were right the first time.
He ends up with one carry for two yards that year.
Is that?
And that is the end of his NFL career.
Oh.
That's it.
That is the most fizzled out, disappointing thing I've ever heard in my life.
He only had two seasons over 1,000 yards.
Back to back, they were both 1,700-yard seasons that were huge and never had a good season again.
They were both 1,700-yard seasons that were huge and never had a good season again.
For his career, 6,223 yards, 4.4 per carry.
Nutton's just kind of one of those running backs who was shot by 30.
Flash in the pan.
Yep.
So he says, by the way, later on, that he has no memory of two full nfl seasons i hope they weren't the
ones where he had 1700 yards i hope you remember those he says that many of his are most of his
memorable plays are hazy memories he said so that's 2007 seasons that he had two yards i don't
remember those either that one well that one that's his most memorable, though, he said. He calls them blank spots.
Yeah, blank spots, he calls these lapses.
He says because of that, he's been creating a time capsule of his football career for his daughter.
He's got a daughter now, Jalen.
He's creating a time capsule because he says, quote, if I can't remember who I was, I've got YouTube.
I've got music videos that I'm making for myself.
So when I watch these things, I can remember.
I'm trying to get these things in order so she knows who I am and what I came from.
He's planning for the inevitable time when he's not going to remember who the fuck he
is and where what he did in his life.
So he can just go, here you go, kid.
I don't remember shit, but this is what I did.
That's fucked.
His brain is that fucked up.
His brain is that fucked up that he knows it's going and he's got to fix it.
He's got to.
That's crazy.
It's like 50 first dates.
She's like make preparing the videotapes for every day.
This is fucking nuts, man.
That's wild.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's fucking CTE right there.
But he's not done getting arrested so there's that
no october 5th 2012 he is arrested again this time in las vegas for domestic violence
yeah that include this is at the bellagio by the way so this is like at a very nice place
uh he is accused of beating and strangling a former girlfriend at the Bellagio.
Oh, my God.
32-year-old woman from Maryland said to have several injuries to her face, bruising on her neck, and been choked into unconsciousness.
He choked her unconscious, Jimmy.
You could have killed her very easily.
That's attempted murder.
That is, fuck, that's, I would call that attempted murder.
Yeah, when choking turns to unconsciousness and no one's coming, that's attempted murder.
If you choke somebody till what appears to be lifelessness, that's attempted murder, right?
I would say.
You could have killed them very easily.
According to the police report, he and the woman had been drinking, you know, drinking,
boozing it up a little bit before the altercation um he also had marks on his face that he attributed to the woman fighting him police
attributed to the woman fighting him as he choked her right which when you're being strangled into
unconsciousness you'll reach out and grab anything you can and probably make some scratches um if you
strangle me you're gonna have some marks i don't know how well your arms are, sure.
Probably not really.
Not on my face, anyway.
Your forearms are going to be fucked up. My forearms are going to be all fucked up.
But I'll just keep my face back like that.
I will fuck everything from your wrist to your elbow.
Dude, that hurts, man.
Seriously.
You're hurting my forearm.
You scratched it.
Look like you pet the belly of a
feral cat. And you'll be choked into unconsciousness. That's perfect, right? That's
not good. That's not good for anybody. Nobody wants that. I don't want anybody to be choked
unconscious or scratched or anything here. But you put your arms in a paper shredder.
Oh, no. What happened here?
There was just a basket full of kittens, I guess.
So this poor woman awoke in the 10th floor hallway of the hotel, the Bellagio, in her underwear.
Not even in a room.
Not even in a room and not even in clothes.
Can you imagine?
In her underwear.
She had to knock on doors until someone would answer and call hotel security for her.
Horrifying.
She told police that she told Johnson that he would have to squeeze harder and get it over with if he was going to kill her.
So she wasn't backing down.
The arresting officer said Johnson and the woman told him about previous physical altercations including another one at a las vegas strip hotel johnson once point uh once point uh pretended to run at one point
pretended to run from hotel security and told one security officer quote i'll rip your fucking
vocal cords out the police report said i'll rip your fucking vocal cords out to security.
To security.
He also bragged to both the woman and security about getting released from the charges, quote, last time.
So that does embolden people there.
He was booked in Clark County Detention Center with a bond at fifteen thousand dollars.
He's released after about 18 hours, faces five years in jail and a $15,000 fine.
He maintains that he did not assault this woman.
Did not.
He said, I know people will try to pass judgment on me for my previous record, but I didn't do what I am being charged with.
Didn't do it.
She, yeah, she said that you choked me into unconsciousness and left me in my underwear in the hallway of a casino.
So thanks for that.
She said that they went back to the room and that he became enraged after they started talking about his daughter.
Apparently, I don't know how the fuck A goes to B.
She claims that when Johnson began to, quote, beat her and throw her around the room before strangling her.
So he just knocked her all around.
His version is much different.
He told TMZ that the woman wouldn't leave his hotel room.
And when he tried to remove her, she kicked and slapped him.
He claims that when he got outside the room she tried to kick the door down which he feels
should be seen on hotel security cameras um meaning that she could have never been close
to unconsciousness so she must have choked herself and left these bruises and been found in a hallway
in her underwear by strangers that's yeah doesn't look good um he ends up plea bargaining on this
the felony charge is dropped as part of the plea.
He is ruled guilty of misdemeanor domestic battery and assault and sentenced to, you, sir, may fuck off one year of probation.
What?
And a, oh, wait, no, Jimmy, now you think that's bad.
Hold on.
They do stick it to his wallet to a 345 fine that's less than the room
cost at the bellagio that this happened to god and oh 48 hours of community service and attend
six months of counseling as well because that'll solve all the problems here that's the least
inconvenient thing i've ever heard of yeah choking a woman unconscious so convenient um yeah johnson said quote i'm just
happy to have this behind me and go back to florida and stay out of trouble for once he said
his focus is now taking care of his three-year-old daughter and trying to keep his nose clean that's
all he's doing who the fuck has ever said i'm gonna go to florida and stay out of trouble to
keep my nose clean and raise my daughter well i'm just gonna stay out of To keep my nose clean and raise my daughter well. I'm just going to stay out of trouble, keep my nose clean, and raise my children well in Florida.
Yeah, okay.
Great.
Nobody's ever said that.
I'm just going to go to the moon because I really like when my feet are on the ground.
I just like to stand solid on the ground.
So I'm just going to go to the moon and stand on the ground solidly.
I'm going to go to the moon and breathe fresh air.
Breathe fresh air and not float.
That's what I'm gonna do so
2013 he starts doing guest spots as a dj at a miami strip club called tootsie's cabaret
get the fuck out of here swear to god not like mixing he's saying like coming down table side coming down the stage right now
we have give me a good stripper name raven raven yeah fellas look at that
i'm gonna be a cheese dick yeah look at that he's up next for your lap dancing pleasure
oh it's gonna be that's what he's doing gentlemen yeah he's doing that he's djing um
they said that he enjoys commandeering the booth, he's doing that. He's DJing.
They said that he enjoys commandeering the booth from time to time,
that he spins a pretty good set, too.
He does put the music on as well.
You may know this place because it's the same strip club Aaron Hernandez hung out at the night he allegedly shot one of his friends, Alex Bradley, according to the Boston Globe.
Yes, he lives a few miles from here does larry johnson so he
just comes in and uh pops in and they said nobody minds no who knows maybe probably not that was
earlier so um yeah he said he's been drifting around searching for a new identity he uh oh he
found one i guess he was doing something with he finance, some sort of makeup thing at one point that didn't work out.
Turned out to be like shitty quality stuff.
He said he thought about getting like a nine to five.
What?
Maybe.
He researched how to join the military at one point.
Stop it.
Come on, Lair.
He did?
Yeah, he researched all that. all that he said though it was just
easier to go to the club the strip clubs down the street there's titties and tequila it's really a
good place tootsies titties and tequila i can't really go wrong here i'm going um he says that
in trying to drown his sorrows and possibly make new friends he'll sometimes drop as much as 50 grand in a night, which
to a guy with no income, not smart, not good, eats up his savings.
At what late in the 2000, late 2010s, he said that he he does, you know, he made all that
money back in the day.
But he says right now he has just enough money for his daughter's college and for him to
get by.
And that's about it.
Oh, my God.
What? Yeah. has just enough money for his daughter's college and for him to get by and that's about it oh my god what yeah they gave he's got like a stipend one of those annuity type deals and he put some aside for his daughter's college and that's all he's got left he pissed it all away how bentley's
and driving and fifty thousand dollars a night you can drive a bentley because a bentley will
stay worth money so as long as you're buying it or or if you lease it, it's a write-off.
But if you fucking, you can't drop 50 grand at the strip club.
There's no way to write that off, and there's no way to recoup any.
There's no value to that.
That's just fucking throwing money in a toilet bowl and flushing it.
There's nothing for that.
Bentley's are like $150,000, $200,000 and up.
That's insane. And if you put miles on them, I mean, you're depreciating the vehicle. Yeah, you're fucking it up at that point, but hopefully you put miles on them that i mean you're depreciating the vehicle
yeah you're fucking it up at that point but hopefully you wouldn't do that that would be
terrible so this daily driver though who knows yeah that's true he might be taking it probably
just driving to the strip club and back yeah and now it's in florida weather now so it's
holding together probably okay but yeah it used to be in kansas city james who fucking knows
bad streets you have you have bad fucking roads in missouri too yeah salt there's fucking snow
absolutely ruin that vehicle fucking destroy it but he's he's got it and uh maybe not now i don't
know yeah he says that uh he sometimes he'll begin evenings with the intention of starting trouble.
And sometimes he can feel himself losing control.
And he says that he feels like it's impossible to stop and everything else.
One friend said he turned into the Incredible Hulk, basically.
He said, quote, you could see the mood swings and they were drastic.
He could be super happy one moment and just an hour later he'd be ready to blow up.
And you're like, what just went wrong?
Yeah.
So that's how he is.
He just snaps around like it's almost like he's got brain damage or something.
It's like his brain can frontal frontal lobe.
It's almost like the center of his impulse control is a little damaged.
You know what I mean?
You know, the decision making area.
Yeah.
So October 7th, 2019, he is arrested again. Uh huh. control is a little damaged you know what i mean you know the decision making area yeah um so
october 7th 2019 he is arrested again uh-huh uh yes he is at the delano hotel in miami beach
and um he and another man drew johnson no relation got into a fight that left them both with cuts and
some blood um drew johnson alleged that alleged that Larry Johnson punched him in the face
after they bumped into each other.
So he's one of those guys.
He bumped into him.
He then also said that Larry broke a bottle and swung it at him.
He tried to cut him with a broken bottle, dude.
That is terrifying.
I'm shocked.
That is, wow.
That's a desperate man.
And then once he knocked him down, Larry then struck him, struck Drew allegedly here several times while he was on the floor.
Larry, on the other hand, said that Drew Johnson took drinks from his table and pushed him onto the table when his back was turned.
That seems to be something people do.
That seems to be normal.
Oh, by the way, Drew Johnson is 5'8", 150 pounds.
He certainly did all that.
He definitely stole and then shoved a monster.
Shoved a giant ex-NFL player and was like, fuck you, man.
I will have these drinks.
And then he's like, I'll outrun him because, yeah, I can do that because it's not like he was a running back or anything.
Larry Johnson needed a broken beer bottle against a guy that's 5'8", 150.
I think it was a liquor bottle.
It wasn't even a beer bottle.
Oh, my God.
I think it was a liquor bottle.
Thicker glass, sharper edges.
Better handle as well.
He got that thinner handle.
He said that now Larry's charged with aggravated battery, booked into the Miami-Dade County Jail, bond of 7,500 bucks.
Drew Johnson required several stitches to close some wounds caused by the broken bottle on his arms.
Then Drew Johnson said, he wailed on me for a good two minutes before security came over.
Probably not.
That's one of those things where it's going to seem like two minutes, even if it's 10 seconds.
A giant man fucking pounding on you.
It was probably 20 seconds.
Yeah. He said, I couldn't get back on my feet, so it wasn't even a fight. He just wailed on me and used a tall, broken vodka glass that he knocked over when I fell down to attack me. Holy shit.
He said, I was able to cover my face, but I'm covered in cuts on the side of my neck he cut the
back of my hand and i had to get seven stitches for the gash on my arm he said he's never met
larry johnson before that incident and he had no idea why this guy would attack him unbelievable he
was looking yeah he was he must have been looking for somebody um now there's a lawsuit that he
files as well jude johnson uh he's a club promoter who says he was just minding his own business in the VIP section of the club there when he was attacked by a heavily intoxicated Larry Johnson.
Broke a bottle, began using it as a weapon, cutting him with the intent of causing serious bodily injury.
All that shit.
Drew points out.
Larry says that, no, no, he was coming at me just as much.
Drew points out, Larry says that, no, no, he was coming at me just as much.
And Drew points out that he's 5'8", 150, and Larry is 6'2", 230.
And explains he couldn't have provoked a fight because, quote, no one in their right mind would pick a fight or get into an altercation with Larry Johnson.
Right.
You wouldn't, would you?
No.
No.
If Larry Johnson kicked your ass, I would never think that Jimmy must have fucking challenged him to a fight.
He must have challenged him to a fight and then Larry kicked his ass.
I would never think that.
I go, oh, God, poor Jimmy tried to run and he got grabbed from behind, dragged back to where he was with fingernail marks on the fucking ground and then beaten severely.
That's what it would really, I would know that that's the real way it was that that's the real shit out of that concrete trying to get away smoke coming off your fingers i could see it um he's only demanding about fifteen thousand dollars it's for uh some medical
shit for some physical scarring that he'd like to get plastic surgery on stuff like that so it
doesn't seem all that exorbitant.
It seems like justified.
I don't know.
That's just my opinion.
That's a fascinating choice, though.
Larry says a totally different story.
Okay.
Of course.
Larry says that he sat with a group at a crowded table,
and a man he just met was being loud.
And he said that Larry said that asked uh for the man to shut up
he said he basically told him shut the fuck up is what he told him so he said a second later they
both stood he says at this point though is when he experienced one of his blank spots oh the part
where you hit a man where you can't remember that wailed a man and sliced him with a broken vodka bottle
this is crazy um then he says when i came to he was already on the ground like leaned over
and i'm kind of like damn i must have did that oh what the fuck as i guess as he tried to get away
he said the uh as larry johnson tried to run away he said the man went after him with a chair
and put dents in the back of his porsche okay with his chair he uh he said he would yeah um
so this is blank spots you can't have yeah you can't do that no no that's and you've just made
yourself a not credible incredible witness you just can't be trusted to go out on your own anymore.
You have blank spots.
And no matter what you say right now, none of it matters because you have to take everybody
else's word now.
You can't even take your own statement as defense.
You don't even know what you did.
You have no fucking idea what you did.
At this point, too, he began calling his parents at all hours of the night.
They'd wake up and he'd start cursing and making accusations,
weird shit, accusing them of strange shit and cursing and all this shit.
Tony Johnson, his older brother, who's his manager and best pal there,
he said he woke up to so many worried texts from his brother's friends
that he stopped checking his phone in the morning
and made peace with how his brother's story might end.
He said every night he'd get calls.
Yo, your brother's acting like this.
Your brother's acting crazy.
What's up with your brother?
What the fuck?
He says memory loss, suicidal impulses, mood swings, headaches.
He says that he believes his brother has CTE.
But that can't be diagnosed formally until after you're dead.
They look at your brain.
So he said that, yeah, he said he doesn't even remember playing a couple seasons.
It's crazy.
He says that he fears that Larry says he fears he's not going to remember anything by the time he's 50.
And he also thinks so close.
That's real close.
He also says that he thinks of what happened to Aaron Hernandez.
He said, quote, I could be Aaron Hernandez.
He said, that could happen to me.
He says he believes he and Aaron Hernandez are something like kindred spirits, cautionary tales.
What?
Yeah.
Don't say that, man.
He said that he has the anxiety, paranoia, self-destructive impulses that match the symptoms of people with CTE.
He describes brief, intense headaches, jitters, mood swings, violence, and forgetfulness.
He describes, quote, demons that push him toward rooftop decks, urging him to jump.
His brain is fucked.
He said, quote, one is telling you to do it.
One is telling you you don do it one is telling you you
don't one is telling you it would be fun that's a bad voice don't listen he is a father fucking
disaster i mean you gotta worry about everybody that's around this goddamn guy i mean it's
fucking frightening i you know sure is anyone in his path it's like you know they're it's scary
this is fucking scary even him he doesn't even know what's going on inside his brain.
You got to feel bad for these people, Jimmy.
Feel really bad.
But not nearly as bad as I feel for.
I feel bad for you.
There's so many to choose from.
Larry Johnson, experienced healthcare professional in the United States.
Went to Bellevue University.
Larry Johnson, director preclinical research at Ethicon, Inc.
For Johnson & Johnson.
I wonder if he's one of them.
I wonder if he's one of the Johnsons in Somerville, New Jersey.
Larry Johnson, editor and publisher at the Cobb County Courier in Mableton, Georgia.
Larry Johnson, heating and air conditioning specialist in Covington, Kentucky.
God damn it.
Larry Johnson, executive director at Life Builders in Detroit, Michigan.
Larry Johnson, poor guy, real estate agent, Dallas, Texas.
That's always bad for real estate agents.
And finally, and most of all, because this is the most because it's so confused, Larry
Johnson, grandmama himself, former NBA player and guy who's so many people are like, you
know how many times every time he'd get arrested, people like grandma got arrested and you're
like, no, no, the other one, the football guy.
Oh, okay.
Unbelievable.
So this poor guy, you know how many times he's probably been called and asked about an incident that he didn't do?
That this other guy did?
What are you doing with the strip club, Larry?
Man, it's rough.
It's some Ernie, some Eddie Johnson type bullshit.
So he has more problems as well.
He says the only reason he hasn't fully acted on his violent tendencies toward himself and others is
because of his daughter he says that his daughter keeps him grounded he says quote she's like a good
distraction i have she sees something in me that most people never see yeah so uh he said that
very very well yeah he said that he while he was working on his capsule for his daughter he said
that he was aware he was about to destroy himself and that he couldn't delay it that he could delay
it but not avoid it he says that he wasn't contemplating suicide that he was preparing
to go away to stay she's planning to like just leave everybody and go sit in a cave somewhere
during an interview with the washington post he points out a few years ago
there was a time when he punched a hole through the drywall and his daughter was there and he
said he sent her upstairs before punching the hole in the drywall he was enraged he was like
go upstairs go upstairs and then he did it because he wanted to do it in front of her
what he said that's the best way he can do sometimes to shield her from it he said did
you think it was something that you did um he i guess he asked the girl and she had he had to explain that things aren't your fault daddy
gets angry and daddy's got daddy's got brain problems here's the thing though in those moments
when a therapist tells you to take a second you know what i mean it'll it'll calm you down and
diffuse the situation calming realizing and recognizing the urgency with which he doesn't want his daughter
to see what's about to happen he can he has the wherewithal to stop her send her out of the room
and then he goes back to being rageful that's he still got horrifying it's terrifying he said
quote a bittersweet thing i'm going to be free of everything that's holding me down the same way
aaron hernandez thought i'm going to be gone from this world but i'm still going to be free of everything that's holding me down the same way Aaron Hernandez thought I'm going to be gone from this world, but I'm still going to be able to take care of my child because that's all I care about.
So that's him thinking I'm going to be free if I just take off from here and don't have to worry about.
No, man.
No, you need help, bro.
And I don't even know what could help you with CT.
Every environment you put yourself in is going to do this to you if you don't fix it, Lair.
It's bad. There's an article in the Washington Post that says, quote, a few weekends ago, friends
invited Johnson to join them at a bar, have a few drinks, meet a woman he might like.
He agreed, and he was drawn to her.
They talked, and so did the friends.
A little too much, maybe.
And after a while, Johnson could feel the shadow falling.
The Hulk was coming.
So at one point point he excused himself
without explanation and just left distrustful of his own mind johnson now says that he wasn't just
annoyed by his chatty friends he noticed himself staring at one of them feeling a growing urge to
punch him these are his friends oh my god he said almost in a heartbeat he went from sociable and
joyful to deeply angry and potentially violent, frightening.
At least he said he scared himself there.
He said something so easily dismissed.
But it's just once I get in that mood, I can't stop it.
And he says it comes out of nowhere every time.
So he said it's, you know, am I just watching myself deteriorate in fucking real time here um uh tony johnson his brother
says do i think he's a special breed uh yes do i think he might have cta cte i just can't say
so um yeah he's got a lot of problems a narcissist thing where if he's not the
if somebody else is the star of the show, he hates them.
Absolutely.
He fucking does not like that.
He doesn't like to feel slighted.
Slighted is a big deal for him.
You know when he was the star of the show with his neighbors because he was the fucking star running back and just pops in.
They're like, oh my God, I can't believe you're here.
Now he's at dinner with friends and he's not a star anymore.
One guy's talking more than Larry and Larry fucking hates him.
That's a problem.
Yeah.
Or that guy ordered something that he didn't care for and it got in his head and then it went further down because his brain's fucked up, too.
You don't even know.
The two of those things together is a scary combination.
He had psychological damage in the first place with some sort of personality defect.
And now it's this, too.
A friend of his who was also friends with Junior Seau said that he this woman said she sees a lot of similarities between the behaviors of the two of them.
Say before he killed himself and the way he's acting now.
Now, in court, he pleads guilty to battery and is sentenced to, you, sir, may fuck off.
12 months probation for trying to slice somebody with a broken vodka bottle in public.
Shocking.
I dare you to try that, James.
See what you get.
See what I get.
I haven't had five previous arrests for this exact same thing.
60 hours of community service and must submit to substance abuse evaluations and stay away from
both the victim and the nightclub he also says that he has been diagnosed with type 1 bipolar
disorder there you go and he blames that on head injuries he said that he can it can't be confirmed
though because they you know they need to see his brain after he's dead he said certain things
happen in your life that you just can't come back from and he's talking about the brain injuries
here he moved out of a high-rise in miami bought a like a townhouse in fort lauderdale he got rid
of all of his guns yeah which is smart uh took a job with a non-profit that uses the arts to mentor disadvantaged children.
Not bad.
Also quit therapy and refuses to take his prescribed medications as well.
That is not good.
God damn it, man.
Which isn't good.
And he says it's okay because he's better equipped to manage his impulses himself than with medication.
Unless there's a blank spot and then you're going to wake up standing over someone with a broken bottle in your hand i do understand the the the feeling that that stuff man some of those medications can really
change how you how you perceive the world and it's sometimes it's really scary and sometimes
listen you got to make your own decisions but this guy's gonna kill somebody he's gonna fucking kill
somebody i would recommend he listened to every doctor that he talks to
yeah he said that he wants to clean up be there for his daughter clean up his image he said when
i was young i got into a lustful appetite lustful okay a lot of it had to do with the girl with
girls and not knowing how to talk to them it became an obsession that everything i wanted i
lusted after i wanted all the attention i wanted all the girls to love me, and I wanted all the money.
I was under some spell that if I satisfied myself with worldly pleasures, I was going
to be okay.
It is a narcissism thing.
That's what he said.
But now he said, he said now, going through his struggles, he said he's seen God keep
pursuing him.
Oh, boy.
God's pursued him.
He said, I was trying to party myself to death death and he just would not give up on me god he means not his dad and his brother
who moved there and would fly in on the weekends and yeah he's talking about god now not the people
who actually tried real fucking hard and altered their lives for it just get fucking so i would be
enraged if i was them god motherfucker i'm the
reason you're still here fuck god you got out of your mind delta's your god you son of a bitch
when you'd be upset you do two things praise uh pray to god and call me who fucking showed up
exactly shut up who went to the airport i didn't see jesus in the fucking seat next to me
i said mary was not in baggage claim waiting for me understand
so uh he said he wouldn't give up on him he said that uh he just would not give up on me and i
think that's the credit to his grace and long long suffering because you know jesus knows obviously
he let me rebel to a point where I was
tired of rebelling. Wow. A very good parent. He said that God ripped apart the old Larry Johnson
and gave him a new outlook on life. Quote, he kind of piece by piece, strip my ego, strip Larry
Johnson, Penn State, Kansas City. He stripped that away from me and began to give me a new heart
where I was helping a lot of people and talking more about the goodness that he gave me and being able to help other kids that were struggling.
The more I talked, the more I was growing into what he wanted me to be.
Does he know that Frankenstein is a metaphor for a monster that tears apart everything?
Tears it apart.
God, Frankenstein.
Jesus made a Frankenstein that's going to destroy civilization.
So let's talk about still crazy after all these years.
Still crazy after all these years.
That's what's going on right now with him.
Crazy.
Now he's crazy.
Crazy for playing football.
Running into people with my head.
He, newfound faith, and now he starts, he's been on podcasts, has his own podcast, tweets crazy, I'm talking crazy shit here.
All sorts of, very much into anti-Semitism.
He is, wow.
Oh, where do you see this one tweet? It's wild. I mean, it's crazy anti-Semitism. He is, wow. Oh, where do you see this one tweet?
It's wild.
I mean, it's crazy anti-Semitism.
Do you think?
Crazy internet shit.
It's crazy internet.
Yeah, I don't think he knows, dude.
Do you think he knows?
Well, I don't think.
Now he's saying that.
You'll see what I'm talking about.
That's okay.
So he says that he also claimed LeBron James
taking over for Kobe on the Lakers was a quote. No, LeBron James taking over for Kobe on the Lakers was a quote.
No, LeBron James taking over for Kobe as the face of the league was a quote blood sacrifice.
He really crashed the helicopter.
Yeah, he really loves conspiracy theorist.
He also starts contributing to InfoWars, starts telling Alex Jones bullshit.
Yeah, yeah. Starts giving it to. theorist he also starts contributing to info wars starts telling alex jones bullshit yeah yeah
starts giving it to he also didn't read that court document either when alex jones said hey i'm full
of shit and this is a character he didn't read that part and thinks he's fucking serious like
other morons who listen to that fucking knuckle dragging cunt so anyway yeah that's nothing to do
with politics that's do crazy people trying to convince people less intelligent of them of
fucking crazy shit that's a terrible thing to do it's disgusting people trying to convince people less intelligent of them of fucking crazy shit.
That's a terrible thing to do.
It's disgusting.
While hurting people.
While hurting people.
It's a disgusting thing to do.
Honestly hurting people.
There's fucking bodies in his wake.
Fuck him.
Fuck that guy.
So he also shared anti-Semitic conspiracy theories, primarily that a, quote, Jewish cabal is involved in human trafficking, murder, pedophilia, human sacrifice and child torture.
The whole QAnon bullshit, basically.
He's all about it.
He's an atrena chrome guy.
Oh, yeah.
You want to hear some quotes?
Yeah.
He tweeted that he was proud of the racial disparity between African-American people and his imaginary Jewish cabal.
He didn't say imaginary.
He didn't say imaginary because African-Americans, quote, overwhelmingly underperform in the area of human trafficking, sex trafficking, pedophilia, ritualistic child torture, perversion, human sacrifice and murder.
They much we don't do that as much as the Jewish people is what he said.
So we're happy to have that difference, he said.
He also people started saying, fuck you, QAnon bullshit.
He said, quote, just like clockwork.
This is the crazy dude.
He's crazy.
And politics aside, we can do disagreeing on politics is fine.
You can disagree on.
I think taxes should be this and that.
I think there should be this much interference in this and this.
I think the regulate.
That's all shit you can talk about.
Right.
You can't debate crazy.
You can't debate crazy.
If a homeless person comes up to you, screams in your face that the government puts poison in orange juice so white babies are less fertile, you can't fucking just parse the points of his argument and tell him where he's wrong.
There's nothing.
You're crazy.
Right.
You can't bring him back to reality.
It's over for him.
You can't debate crazy.
And the problem is people like this guy might actually believe this shit because he's got
brain damage.
And there's fucking assholes out there who know what they're saying is complete horseshit.
People, you're Alex Jones and people, they know what they're saying.
It's a character.
It's a money grab.
It's clickbait.
And they're saying crazy shit to get people with brain damage to click on it james tell me he's not
verified on twitter i tell you know what i don't even i bet he is i bet he is they might have taken
now maybe not well he says this when uh people began accusing him of being a q anon follower
he tweeted quote just like clockwork anything anything involving Hollywood, Adrenochrome,
Pizzagate, it's a
right-wing QAnon conspiracy.
That's their way of saying
white people crazy. Instead of debating
the proof, they label it as a
conspiracy and anti-Semitic. It's
tired. No, dog. No.
It's all been proven. What are you
talking about? This is what I mean.
When you can...
This is the Google search, Shay. You can do do a fucking search there's a million legitimate places that
do fucking fact check i'm going to fuck i'm gonna go out and start cutting people with
broken vodka bottles i swear to god fucking reality you literally you literally tweeted
that with a device that can fact check all that bullshit you just said.
Oh, my God.
Just do the search, man.
I'm going to have a stroke, and this is why.
Oh, Larry, your brain is more striped than a Bengals helmet for sure.
Jesus Christ.
Live in reality or get fucked.
That's my thing.
Oh, man.
I don't care if you disagree with me on everything.
We'll find some kind of common ground to deal with.
You can't say that.
When you're in crazy fucking cuckoo crazy land,
no, I'm done with you.
This is fucking nuts.
When did he tweet that, James?
In the last few years, man.
In the last, like, three years.
No, don't.
Don't say that.
Yeah.
He's one person fucking he he tells a guy i'll tell it to your face if you prefer somebody that tells him he's crazy oh dear god he also uh begins lately associating with
the black hebrew israelite movement for the last year uh writing that shit well it's it's a
different thing sort of but he wrote that
jews have stolen their religion this is that whole movement now that you that they're the real
israelites and it's a it's a big thing that's going on here he said that now i don't know
shit about that so i'm not gonna i'm not i don't know enough to make a thing on that i get it's
africa i understand yeah it says it's probably yeah. I don't know. He says that he wrote that people discrediting the movement were just, quote, whining about Jewish converts not being the chosen people of God almighty.
Yeah. They believe that they are the chosen people of the original and the original Israelites. They follow the belief of the Old Testament, the Torah, whatever you want to say.
They follow the belief of the Old Testament, the Torah, whatever you want to say.
They said that the belief is that the Old Testament, the Torah, is about them rather than the Jews,
and that the transatlantic slave trade decimated their religion on purpose. It was a conspiracy from the Jews to decimate their religion to take it over.
That's what he said.
That's his crazy fucking theory here, or whatever their theory.
I have no idea. That's what he said. That's his that's his crazy fucking theory here or whatever their theory.
I have no idea.
He they believe they're reclaiming their culture and religion that was left behind extremist fashion factions here.
It's a lot.
Yeah.
The movement is he says that it's there are smaller detachments of larger of a larger
non-racist faith according to the Southern Poverty Law Center, which tracks extremism.
So but yeah, he blames essentially blaming Jews for the slave trade, plantation slavery, Jim Crow, sharecropping and general black oppression.
Oh, God. Yeah. Jews. He's he then said, I'm not an anti-Semite.
I'm anti-termite.
He said in 2018, Twitter removed the tweet via said it violated their platform with language that dehumanizes others on the basis of religion.
So he posted photos of Orthodox Jews wearing prayer garments along with verses from the New Testament in an apparent effort to discredit Jewish
traditions. He
has also
posted Holocaust denial as well.
Oh, Larry. He got
in an argument with fucking Lenny Dykstra
as of all people.
He argued with Lenny? Let's
just say this. If you're in an argument
with Lenny fucking Dykstra
and he's the sane one
you have lost your fucking mind walk into the ocean and keep walking because you're
the plot's gone he's the sane one lenny lenny's the sane one dykstra yeah this is fucking crazy yeah it's a it's um it's a uh he's tweeting about something
from the he's retweeting something from the auschwitz memorial because lenny has he kind
of identifies as jewish now he's got jewish what his daughter's in law is jewish now and he's got
his son is married to metal soprano yeah but he but he married a Jewish woman, too, at one point, if I remember.
I believe he converted.
Yeah, he converted.
Like, he posts stuff about anti-Holocaust.
And Lenny's fucking batshit crazy, QAnon half the time, too, but not in this regard.
He's nuts.
So he posted a thing about a young boy who was killed in a fucking thing here.
Oh, my God.
Is he saying that this is a conspiracy
did i misread this oh no lenny dykstra's tweeting to deshaun jackson
the fucking the receiver yes deshaun jackson 10 as a matter of fact oh my god um yeah i'm fascinated already i want to know oh i don't know he's tweeting at some crazy people
on here there's some crazy people there's a couple of normal people but kurt schilling's in the mix
aubrey huff's in the mix there's a there's a couple crazies larry johnson's in the mix here
all these guys i don't know what he said four students no no no no lenny what the fuck
leonard larry to leonard jesus christ and yeah anyway they're talking about um
they're talking about a young boy here who was killed in the fucking auschwitz in a gas chamber
and um larry johnson retweets it and says international Red Cross records say otherwise
which is a QAnon thing they say
that that's all bullshit
but if you look them up they don't say otherwise
they're the same fucking records that's been there
70 fucking years you fucking cunt
fucks I swear to Christ
I swear to God
fuck you all of you
you idiots
something that he heard and he just fucking says it
yeah well it's just something they know yeah they know you can find anything to say that you're
what you're saying is true so anyway well i heard that's that has become if somebody says well i
heard i'll fucking i'll discount everything that you have to say for further i want nothing to do
with you well i heard from a guy who doesn't know anything else too i read an article that you have to say for further i want nothing to do with you well i heard
from a guy who doesn't know anything else too i read an article no you didn't he didn't he is uh
spreading all sorts of this shit here um he uh starts a podcast as well called sight to the blind
i'm sure that's which basically it spreads misinformation anti-semitic rhetoric and uh
was suspended by
audio boom as their distributor they kicked them off their platform so that tells you how great
you know how crazy you are to have to get a fucking podcast removed right you know how crazy
for them to notice it how crazy you have to be holy shit in response so much bad bad shit out
there no fucking ridiculous in response he said the whiny cry
babies heard i was talking about their religion and they jacked that they jacked from the israelites
wow and he said that he quote angered rabbis from here to israel and he said the most high
didn't pull me out of this world and put me and put his something in me to apologize to the children of i don't even
know what the fuck he's talking about he's talking about abraham and isaac and jacob i don't know
what the fuck he's doing he then um he yeah sight to the blind he explored the description said it
explores the dark he is by the way verified um i see his check mark right here he's the description
says it explores the dark roots
of our society and culture to expose deep secrets that remain untold that's what he says um and uh
yeah he uh he also uh when rolling stone tweeted the public enemy fired flavor flave
after 37 years he retweeted it and said, hip hop is a Jewish plantation.
Look who just got kicked out the house.
Oh, that's what he said.
You're only saying that
because of that bad email
a few years ago.
I'll tell you what,
I get one email from any
from any member of Motley Crue.
I'm going to be railing
against how how fucking i got kicked
off the plantation hey what the fuck that's ridiculous man um he the description oh my god
jesus christ he talks all this shit some of these descriptions what satan's seen a scheme in today's
world he also went on twitter in a rant saying that NFL games
were rigged. He tweeted at the
end of every game, this has been
a presentation
of the NFL. In other words, it's
all rigged. So they're telling you, but they want
to tell you in a code language because
they're like, we want to fool everybody, screw
the world and screw people out of billions of dollars,
but we should probably give them
a little wink and a nod to it just in case someone real smart figures it out if they sue us we can
say well it was a presentation wow what fucking uh so he said this has been a presentation and
it's all capital letters with dashes between each word kept getting called crazy so it's apparent
you sheep will accept accept the reality
in which you are presented that's what he says oh god everything's truman show larry yep he
continued a lot of people say this what makes uh what makes me a controlled op from what i know
i've been called a lot of anti and phobia labels on social media and never once apologized for it
you're not talking to Nick Cannon, boy.
And then he said, Satan's not after your talent.
He's after your influence.
And then he accused the NBA and NFL of having a, quote, effeminate agenda.
Yeah, go on.
This is a theory.
Wow. There is an effeminateinate i'll just read the tweet quote there is an effeminate agenda going on amongst the nba and nfl elite peddled by high-ranking masons
slash handlers to indoctrinate the heterosexual sports world without them knowing for the buying
power of the lgbtq community but we not ready to have that conversation yet
no because it's fucking crazy that's why we're not gonna have it you dumb fuck you can't just
say crazy shit and go don't know why no one's talking about that because we don't need to
because it's fucking crazy he must be talking about uh russell russell westbrook's clothes at pressers
he's just talking about cam newton and that's it cam newton's douchey shirt
he says this is what he says nba the vogue fashion show you get now from the team bus
car to the locker room most of the outfits you think are for 16-year-old boys, not 6'6", 30-plus-year-old men.
That's what he's saying.
The softening of their play.
Everyone's a three, but they're doing it to get better pussy.
That's what you don't understand.
Higher class of pussy.
It's different.
He said their softening of play.
Everyone's a three-point shooter.
Well, that's just a fucking opening in the game.
Everyone was a three-point shooter in the ABA, too, in the 70s.
Does that mean they were fucking cornholeing each other.
It's also strategy. Two trips down
the floor, two three-pointers means the other
team has to go three trips down the floor
with two-pointers. It's just analytics.
That's all. It's just math.
You can't handle it because your fucking brain's
tiger-striped.
Bengal stripe. Noticeable weight
loss to fit the feminine archetype.
Or they started testing for
steroids i think was part of it too and all those guys look at the guys from like 2002 they were all
on fucking massive amounts of steroids uh but it's also then he says it's also a strategy with the
nba to get the like uh gangster look out of the league because of the fucking malice of the palace
that was yeah that doesn't of the whole dress code.
He's talking about weight loss now.
He's saying to fit the feminine.
That's just the game.
It's a running game now.
So you can't be fucking Anthony Mason.
You don't run as well.
So that's why.
Oliver Miller was the last person down the floor.
Every time.
NFL now, his opinion.
Michael Sams was the gauge to see where society was at then he says planned in in quotes there uh
or in uh parentheses commercial two aggressive men having a powder blue pink cupcake business
on a commercial for the nfl okay feminine behavior over little things like helmets
little things like helmets that protect your fucking head right yeah same fashion
show to locker room using only receivers qbs dbs because you know they don't weigh 340 pounds so
their outfits look better on them they've got an unbelievable physique then he said nothing said
nothing said i hate gays my understanding goes far beyond flesh but an agenda that's really to go
after the homophobic sports fan who had an
uproar when two men kissed i could care less about the flesh i'm noticing a playbook used on the
masses okay he's one of those guys he also brainwashed into thinking that being gay is okay
is that what he said uh he also that's what it is yeah Yeah, that's that's their whole goal. He also said that Colin Kaepern backdrop is going to be the African-American civil rights presence that
it brought from the 60s and you're going to use that for your own causes, you don't sell
out.
You don't turn your message into a Nike hoodie.
He said, blah, blah, blah.
Now, I don't know what activist Martin Luther King or Malcolm X, I don't know what civil
rights leader that you even saw or follow that made you even think that selling out
to your oppressor or signing a
deal with your oppressor was the way to go okay now we'll end this man we'll end this with my
favorite larry johnson tweet of all time here we go there's another one lastly dot dot dot dot he
even knows it's going to be the end of the story here quote october is lgbtq
history month the nfl players wear pink that month they also want you to think breast cancer
but they show you they don't care much about women look at the treatment of domestic violence issues
oh lair no no no no no no no don't don't. Huh? Don't open the business. Keep this can of worms closed.
Oh, God, Larry, I'm going to fucking die.
You've got to not say it, Larry.
Oh, God, he broke my brain, Jimmy.
It's over.
He broke it.
He broke my brain.
I can't take it anymore.
Turn the phone off, Larry.
Can't get enough?
You know what?
I can get enough.
I'm clicking this off.
I'm done with you, Larry Johnson.
No more notes.
Fuck off.
I don't care anymore.
Bye.
I've had plenty.
No, never mind.
Can't get enough.
That is one of the biggest assholes we've ever talked about.
Absolutely.
A person I would never want to talk to for five fucking minutes.
When there's so many other people who are like, that guy's an asshole.
Be kind of fun to hang out with for a night.
How many times have we said that?
Not this fucking guy.
Objectively an asshole.
Huge asshole.
Like, I'd love to hang out with J.R. Ryder for a night.
He sounded like a party.
This guy's a fucking dildo.
Not a party.
He's a dick.
So anyway, that crazy shit.
If you enjoyed that crazy shit, tell us.
Get out there.
Give us five stars.
You can do it. Apple podcast, Stitcher, Spotify. Now you enjoyed that crazy shit, tell us. Get out there. Give us five stars. You can do it. Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify.
Now you can do it on. And the newest one,
Audible. Please do that.
Audible's a brand new one on there. I know. We just
got on there. So if you want to give that and Small Town Murder
five stars, helping us out a
ton. Thank you so much for doing that.
Also, head up to, or head over to,
head up to, like it's upstairs.
It's a website. Get upstairs on this website.
It's, you know, it's floating through the air.
That's how it works.
It's over your neighbor's house.
There's a treadmill.
Yeah.
You know, it is.
Yeah.
Just hop right on it.
That is shut up and give me murder dot com.
Get all your tickets to upcoming live shows.
Get all of your merchandise as well.
Lots of merchandise.
Everything there you could possibly want.
Check it out. Shut up and give me murder.com their patreon.com slash crime and sports is where you're
going to get all the good stuff man we have this week two amazing episodes and you anybody five
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every two weeks when they come out you're going to get it all and the entire back catalog as well so check those out this week for crime and sports
we are doing a year in sports crime 1995 it was crazy how many of our athletes were arrested in
1995 it was like dozens it was insane the list it was so long. And then you're like, Warren Moon?
Like, yes, Warren Moon, too.
It's crazy.
It's not like me reading Patreon lists.
It's what it was.
It was a wild fuck, except for an hour and 20 minutes.
It was a lot.
And then for Small Town Murders, which, of course, you have access to, we talked about the murder investigation of John Bonnet Ramsey and what the hell happened.
We kind of avoided the whole murder, murder itself. And just in terms and what the hell happened we kind of avoided the whole murder murder itself
and just in terms of what the fuck happened how was a ransom note written on a pad that was in
the house with a pen that was in patsy's cup multiple takes at it and everything else but
and in her handwriting but she didn't have anything to do with it but then there's so much
there and we unpack that ransom note like nothing. You think you know about John Bonet?
You don't.
You've never heard us talk about it.
So definitely check that out.
Do yourself a favor.
Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports.
And in addition to that, you will get a shout out here coming up in a second because God damn it, we want to thank you.
So, Jimmy, you'll mispronounce your name to tell you that.
Or you can just do it at PayPal as well using using our email address crime and sports at gmail.com that's also a good way
to get a hold of the show that email address or you can follow the show at crime and sports
on twitter and facebook or at small town murder on instagram or do all three make sure to read
and review and write and fucking follow and do all that shit. That said, Jimmy, God damn it, hit me with the name of my favorite goddamn people on the face of the earth
who would never, ever try to swing a broken vodka bottle at us and not even remember it.
Hit me with that list.
This week's executive producers are Bryant Rivera-Rumbo, Jordan Bennett, Carol Braun.
It's really, Carol Braun and Jordan have been doing this for...
Thank you.
Thank you.
Years.
And I can't thank you guys enough for being so amazing to us.
Thank you.
You're darling, truly.
Lisa Fong donated in honor of all spunky Italian grandmas everywhere, including yours and hers,
obviously.
Thank you.
We appreciate that.
Carmel Puttyfoot, Dizzy O'Rourke, and Chantella McKay.
Thank you guys
yeah immensely endlessly true for your support and the amount of people that donated uh this
week based on just because uh you love grandmothers that that was nice i honestly
thank you through bleary eyes through uh through tears a couple of names just because the the the
donation very sweet so thank you guys sweet ones other producers this week also frazier henderson Cleary Eyes threw tears a couple of names just because the donation was so sweet.
So thank you guys truly.
There was a lot of sweet ones.
Other producers this week also, Frasier Henderson in Scotland.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
Grace M., she had a near full ride through college and landed a dream job.
Congratulations, Grace.
Hey, congrats.
You're the one, huh?
The smart and talented.
Congrats on all your, well, no, full ride.
There's no debt involved
in that no you're rolling good work good job talented victoria and charlotte payne thank you
very much uh corporal uh carl kirschner zoe bird james martyr booger johnson jr on young on young
i believe that's onion uh that's on young is is korean for hello it's it's a arrested development
joke okay i've got to watch more of that god damn great show i've seen it i've seen it all the way Anyang is Korean for hello. It's an Arrested Development joke. Okay.
I've got to watch more of that goddamn show. It's a great show.
It's fucking amazing.
I've seen it all the way through and don't remember a goddamn joke, except for there's
always money in a banana stand.
There's always money in a T-bone.
He's a flamer.
Go on.
Do you remember that?
All right.
Peyton Meadows, Ashton Perkins, Anita Dick.
That's a reference from Letter Kenny.
Jimmy and the Whipped Creams, I guess.
Larry Butterfast, you bastard.
Happy birthday, Jenny Lee Bandman.
Your country friends love you, you slut.
I was told to say it.
It's not us.
It's not how I would talk to you.
I apologize.
Much nicer.
Adam Nuth won the CIS stm uh fantasy football league congratulations congratulations
maddie cakes mike papa and maggie quackenbush uh helped out with that uh bridget oceanessy
uh she donated both ways thank you so much that's the name yeah there you go
oceanessy i'm like that's how i would sing it yeah
wilson wilson evan hovorka, Happy Hour was in Hookset, New Hampshire.
I don't know if you know, James, but Hookset is the only Hookset in the country.
Dr. Myron Schmuckstein, Andre from Moldova, and his brother-in-law, Charlie, James.
That's 90 Day Fiance, right?
There you go.
Charles Emerson Winchester III.
That is MASH.
MASH, right. say right there you go uh charles emerson winchester the third that is uh mash right
uh caitlin smith janice hill mara fechner uh frank the south african bird washer also frank
the south south african bird watcher whore oh good no less katya jerking off if you're uh proud
of yourself for that one uh rebecca flowers rebecca flowers Maureen Moran. Donate for us to
donate to pup shelters. Thank you, Maureen.
We will do that. Jason Forrest,
Mandy and Hilton Head,
Jean Leon Magnato.
Magnata. I think it's Magnato.
Happy birthday, Justine McNeil
and her son, Boston.
Happy birthday.
He gave his parents
poems for Christmas. Well played, sir.
Nice job.
Good work.
That's the way you come up.
Ruse Remakers.
Romakers?
Remakers.
Remakers.
Tiffany Cook.
I don't know.
I'll never get it right.
Trey Volk in our sent us.
Do money for Caron Butler.
Perfect.
Josie McGregor and Jill.
Thank you both.
Claire Jones, Ralph Furley, Alexander Welch, Morgan McLeod, Thomas Smith.
Hang in there, Tom.
Yeah.
It will get better, I promise.
He got laid off and then he's going through a spat.
He's a great dude in fucking England.
Thomas, we appreciate you.
You've all been there.
Rachel Taylor, S.J. Surridge, Diana Anzariana anzarina batista cassie harlow reagan shalkley plum
creek farm michelle curse balding small snicker bar i think that's the snickers bar that was in
the pool and caddyshack yeah yeah i maybe i think so uh catherine folk uh focher folk
foker jesus richard i hardly know her richard uh shamel j Jen with no last name, Carly Hubschman, Jake8429, not the other ones, Sarah the Queen, Sarah Mitchell, Zach Hines, Ashlyn Wolfe, Heather Hall, Wolfe, not Wolfe, McKinley with no last name, Dave Kraft, Vera Asplind, Grant Vipond, Zachary Smith, Andrew Deuce, Regina Abigail Adams, Sam Powell, Joe Fitzpatrick, Gregory Smith, Adam Grumprich, Jessica with no last name, Nick Howard, Tiffany Mendoza, Horse That Goes Quack, Natalie Goltz, Christian Gray,
probably not that one, Rosamund Iden, Casey Lincoln, Erie Webs, Liz with no last name,
Janine Wachter, Francisco Medrano, Sean Hopkins, Michael Ray Duncan Jr., oh, it's John Hopkins.
That's where I was.
That sounds familiar.
Mallory Harding.
Riley McCaffrey.
My brain goes in a lot of directions, James.
Emma Calder.
It's very lost.
Maggie M.
Sarah with no last name.
Melissa Jensen.
Princess Weeks.
Caleb Fessel.
Jimmy Floyd.
William Edwards.
Jen Rizzo.
Shelby Epic.
Epic.
A pitch.
James Laco.
Lico.
Cop.
Lauren.
What?
That can't be right.
Jeff Cavanaugh.
Matt Bilski.
Haley Steinhilber.
Matthew, nope, that's Mike Naughton.
Haley Pettit.
Lissa with no last name.
Joseph Pittman.
Carla T.
Sylvia Ashley Arnold.
Lisa Alexander.
Ashley Bertram. Andrew Webb. Cynthia Pocan. Jillvia Ashley Arnold. Lisa Alexander. Ashley Bertram.
Andrew Webb.
Cynthia Pocan.
Jill Basarge.
Bosurgy.
Julian Julia.
Julia Lumio.
Samantha Krause.
Krause crossing.
Good problem there.
Madeline Wynn.
Dana Dana Danae.
Littlefield.
Rachel Boyers.
Emily Sophia.
Tiffany Mangabat. Mangabat, Alex Bohm, Amy Kazier, Dean Kerrigan, Tyler Bourgeois, Taryn with no last name, Dark187, Joe Colaccio, Eileen Castle, Jess Miller, Kelsey Hansen, Morgan Reichenbach,
Cassandra Folley, Sarah Marquez, Stephen Thomas, Ashley McClain,
Alicia Bodley, Jeff and Megan Perry.
Oh, they're in fucking Idaho.
Love you both.
Sierra Watterson, Andrea Strapulos, Reese Martinez, Alexa with no last name,
Josh Kopperman, Cooperman, Jennifer Lowe, Alyssa Zach, Jamie Holes, Marie Rucker, Azra Kennedy, Christy Lee Hoare.
That's that's real. Halston Reed, Zach Onion, Josie DiBiase.
I fucking hope so. Sandy with no last name, Tony P.
Michael with no last name, Amy Rhodes. Xander. Xander Avery.
Amanda Hurt.
Matthew Schreck.
Chuck Martin.
Carly Baumgartner.
Baumgartner.
Heather Weir.
Christine Mann.
Chris Collier.
Tanner Terry.
Lottie Ridgers.
Elizabeth Alcott.
Laura Anderson.
Megan Jackson.
Jude Bordelon.
Kelly Whitting.
Whitting.
Whitting.
Whitting.
Whitting.
Whittingen. Fuck, Whitting, Whitting, Whittingen?
Fuck!
That one broke me.
Richard Brockman, Sean Stimpert, Doyle Massey, Jennifer Lowe, Jay Rad, Stephanie Vought,
Evan with no last name, Yifan Zhang, Bryant Tito Rivera, Rivera, Lawful G, David Willingham, Chris Parker, Glenn Prosser, Aaron Roberts, B. Sizzle, Seth Samson, Kyle James, Catherine Case, Leah Heger, Candace Madden, Jennifer Beatles, Raina Kibler, Greg Paquette, Brooke Affail.
She fails a lot, apparently.
Oh, no.
Poor Brooke.
Brooke.
Me too.
Fuck off, Brooke.
You can do it. Brooke,, Brooke. You can do it.
Brooke, you fuck.
You can do it, Brooke.
Don't fuck it up, Brooke.
Daryl with no last name.
Jasmine Karenin.
Victoria with no last name.
Haley Pearson Cox.
Tim Bailey.
Heather Lawson.
Dee Nice.
Christopher Swanson.
Rachel Krumenauer.
Chad Monroe.
Misty McLaughlin.
Sam Myers. John Sardo,
Corby Swenson, Perla Richardson, Jennifer Shope, Shopee, Keely Powell, Natasha Woodruff,
Dionne Stanley, Tyler Ray Hawkins, Julia Galazaka, Michelle Sanderson, Carmen Hawes, Jackie Brown,
Laura with no last name, Allison Napier, Amy Nix, Nicole would know last name, Adam Zach, Doug McCoon, Dr. Sarah Witte, Gigi would know last name, Melinda Gallagher, Jessica Richter, Sarah McCold, Sophie Johnson, Amy would know last name, Greg Faluna, Michael Duncan, Katie Wicca, Desiree Wurlinger, Jan Roth, Donna Cheresis, Pinky Lane, Cecilia Salguero, Brandon Harris, Terry Davids, Lucas Phillips, Marathon Running, Catholic Mom of Seven,
Squanta, what?
Squanta Chipopimus?
I really hope that's what it is.
I think that's what it is.
Carrie Reese, Hannah McAfee,
McAfee, Amanda Knock,
Luigi with no last name,
Cameron Sophies, Brendan Borky,
Mama J, Jason M, Denise Hogue,
Finley Todd, Carol with no last name,
Kyle Urick, Urick,
Urick, Lori Howell, Michael Matthew, Lisa Cunliffe.
What?
Nope.
I'm moving on. Maggie Rodabaugh, Steve Robertson, Ariana Castillo, Evan Gallagher, Michael Roosh, Roosh. Roosh. Rush.
Sheila Case.
Fraser Henderson.
The Maury Dennis Farina.
Dennis Farina.
The Maury one, though.
Farina.
Dennis Farina.
Isn't that a fucking actor?
He's an actor, yeah.
He's been an actor for 40 years.
He was on Water for a while.
Dead as fuck.
He's amazing.
The Mayori one.
That's the one.
Rachel Darby.
Tiffany A. Sarah Amador. Amador. Michelle Meener. The Mayori one. That's the one. Rachel Darby, Tiffany A., Sarah Amador, Michelle Meener, Sarah Goldfarb, Luke with no last name,
Natalia Villarreal, Grace Ashforth, David Murphy, Zach Gallardo, Riley with no last name,
Bixby B., John Williams, Jennifer McVettie, Richard Lamoureux, Jorge Martinez, Sam Yuljus, Haley Worsinski, Craig Fenella, Nora Welsh, Gretchen Schneider, Fred Schumacher, Emily Anderson, Louise Climott, Kristen Age, Matthew Nickel, I think,
Quinny and Sean, Casey with no last name, Michael Morris, Ian Larch,
Emily Williams, Cameron Gilmore, Myrus Petragallo.
Myrus? Do you know a Myrus?
I do not. I have no clue.
Are you stealing my name?
Sean Moore, Sidney with no last name.
Tony with no last name.
Sunshine's and Andy Andianas.
Nicole Woodcock.
Boy, oh boy.
Brandon Welles.
Jack Teffery.
Joseph Petri.
Petri.
Heartsick Design.
Alex Stevens.
Steffens.
V with no last name.
Cody Wedke.
Clint Stocks.
Rebecca Rockleff. Fuck. Thomas Serrano, Jeremy Miller, Joe Ruggielario, Mary Kidd, Melissa DeSotles, Andy Wilburn, Leah Burgess, Tara Dactyl, Lex Bryant Tracy Graves Mandy Porter
Nicole Lucille
Trevor Succo
Ben Churchill
and every last patron
thank you guys so much
for everything you do
thank you everybody
from the bottom of our hearts
for that
you're amazing
thank you for your outpouring
of support
you've just been so nice
thank you
like I said last week I don't know if I mentioned it on Crime and Sports, but everything meant a lot to my family how nice everybody was.
So thank you for doing that.
What if somebody wanted to get a hold of you?
Tell you what.
Oh, Christ.
Just fucking Google the show.
Google the show.
You can follow both of us on social media.
You'll find us.
We're there.
You're not going to miss the hosts.
We're the only thing to talk about on the thing, so it's fine.
It's staggering though.
Thank you guys.
Thank you for everything that you do for us.
And I think we're going to keep doing more stuff for you to hopefully make it,
you know,
make it up to you for all of the niceness you are to us and live from the crime
and sports studios.
We will see you next week.
Bye. or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.