Crime in Sports - #292 - Heroin, Murder & The 2022 Scummy Awards - The Gnarliness of Jay Adams
Episode Date: February 22, 2022This week, we look into a skateboarding icon, who many say invented the modern style of skating. He was just a kid, when he turned professional, but he certainly lived like an adult. An adult... on the edge. He blew off commercials that he landed, and got into the LA punk rock scene, leading to his starting the ball rolling on a terrible murder of one man, and the near death of another. From there, his life continues to be a mess. He shoots cocaine, gets addicted to heroin, and makes terroristic threats. In, and out of prison, only to finally get out... and somehow be even weirder. Plus, The 2022 Scummy Awards!! Be a cultural icon, commit a brutal crime & get off very lightly, and put on your tuxedos & ball gowns for Jay Adams & The 2022 Scummy Awards!! Check us out, every Tuesday! !We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!!  Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman  Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com  Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com  Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!!  Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsports crimeinsports@gmail.com facebook.com/Crimeinsports instagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports!
Yay!
Oh, yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay indeed.
My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host.
I am Jimmy Wissman.
Thank you folks so much for joining us.
We're excited, and Jimmy's yay.
It was enthusiastic today, and that's for good reason.
You're damn right.
Because today I see, Jimmy, you even smell good.
Look at us.
We're clean.
We're scrubbed.
It's a black tie affair, everyone.
The tuxedos are out for the pageantry of the most glamorous award show.
There's the Oscars, the Emmys, the Tonys, the Grammys.
No, nothing compares in the pure honor, the you know the tony's the grand all these no nothing compares in the pure honor the
pageantry the elan of the scummy awards everyone boy here we are today we're so excited we have a
crazy episode before the scummies too we're gonna do a skateboarder which they're always insane
skateboarding is great because i skated for years and I have boards. I still skate. So, you know, I know the culture and stuff like that.
But like I love skating because you get you get like the craziness of like someone who's like a like a rock star, like a musician lifestyle.
They lead with the brain damage of like a football player at the same time.
It's really remarkable what you can pull out of that.
I got to tell you something.
It's crazy.
the same time it's really remarkable what you can pull out of that i gotta tell you something it's crazy so hubris of a of a hotel room destroying guns and roses absolutely while doing actually
physically dangerous things that's that's the thing guns and roses could tear up motley crew
could tear up a hotel room but afterwards they weren't going to be like i bet i can drop down
this 18 foot vertical fucking ramp and not hurt myself, too.
Why don't we ride the Santa Cruz down the side of this building?
Yeah.
You see that pool?
Yeah, I'm going to drain it and ride in it.
Like, that's not what Motley Crue is doing.
Call the crew to drain the pool.
They're on their way.
It's happening.
So quickly, before we get started with all the amazing stuff we have, first of all want to tell you thanks for the reviews they help a lot wherever you're listening five stars
helps head over to shut up and give me murder.com immediately get first of all your merch we have
tons of stuff new merch is up all sorts of new stuff some roustabout stuff from that bonus
episode if you're into that all sorts of cool stuff and tickets to live shows all throughout
2022 coming up in in march next shows are minneapolis and chicago and there's a few
tickets left for them i think there's like 50 tickets left for each of those so you can get
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this is a good hour long chunk more than that good time we're investing
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or above is for crime and sports you're going to get oh this was such a good one too
worst contracts in sports history this show we celebrate failure failure is where we thrive
is like we say and this show is just the failure of people to give stupid contracts.
That's a failure.
Failure of the players to live up to them.
It's just a failure fest for a while.
It's so much fun.
Then on Small Town Murder, we did an amazing thing here.
We talked about some BTK killings and some things about the BTK killer in his own words
because he wrote all of these letters.
And it is just we made fun of him good we really he deserved every bit of it too and he got a thrashing over
there and you'll hear some stuff you probably haven't heard other places too because it's a
newer book the man created acronyms like a dating website oh everything was because he thought he
was like he thought everything was like a mission he was on.
It was he's out of his mind.
So check that out.
Patreon dot com slash small town slash crime and sports.
Patreon dot com slash crime and sports. We were just talking about small town murder is why I said that.
And do that.
And you're going to get a shout out.
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Jimmy, let's get into this.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Let's talk about Jay Adams, and then we're going to talk about the Scummy Awards.
I cannot wait.
And then Jay Adams is our guy today.
And then Jay Adams is our guy today.
And this is a guy who, if you're not before, you know, 2001, if you weren't like a hardcore skateboard enthusiast, you didn't know who the hell Jay Adams was.
Even if you were like a casual skater, you wouldn't have known who Jay Adams was because he had come in and out of the public. But then 2001, Dogtown and Z-Boys came out,
the documentary, which for a documentary at that time
was extremely popular, like mainstream.
A lot of people saw it to the extent
that they made a Hollywood film about it.
Yeah, Lords of Dogtown,
which also had a Jay Adams character in it.
So now I feel like he's pretty mainstream now, Jay Adams.
People know who he's him stacy
peralta tony alva they kind of know at least who those guys are kind of like you know the beginning
you know johnny unitas and shit like that like when nfl got really popular so it's he's born
well his name is jay is his first name i guess legally jay and his middle name is j what the initial j the initial j first name jay
middle name initial j the letter j the letter j this child brought to you by the letter j by the
letter j j j adams that's his name so right away his parents were like i don't know that's cool
man that's enough i mean they
are interesting people aren't they most of the time you just see the middle initial anyway what's
the difference man like i that's why i could see that being a name hey come on man be laid back
about it save the ink it's true he's born i'm not saying his parents are hippies because they're
born in he's born in 1961 so it's pre-hippie but he's born in venice california so it's also they
might have invented hippies that's what i mean they might have been hippies then or at least
burnouts or something to that nature so february 3rd 1961 he's born he's born in venice california
he's an only child um of robert adams and philane romero were his parents. What did they do?
Well, he didn't grow up with his dad.
He doesn't know his dad much, and he'll bring that up.
He grew up with his mother and his stepfather.
And his stepfather's
name is Kent Sherwood.
And he worked at Dave's
Suites Surf Shop
under Pacific Ocean Park.
So that's
where he got introduced to everything childhood that's
so rad that he started skating and surfing at the age of four of course he did yeah because it was
there that's just what was that stepdad's job that's pretty cool hey you want to try these
things we got yeah that sounds cool he is tanned and long-haired from birth blonde as fuck like
he's the typical beach kid this kid right he's a
beach kid he's skating he's surfing and this isn't this early nobody was skateboarding in the 60s
i mean there was a it was a little surge in popularity of it but it was just like you get
on the board and go from there to there and it's like hey look at you yeah balancing on that board
there was no tricks or no like anything like that nobody was doing shit even in the 70s they were
still doing like handstands and like you know just like cutting back and forth and like making like weird
surf movements yeah like that was that was 1975 that was like the skate competitions were that
is the rollerblading of skateboarding yeah it was really pretty lame uh but surfing was coming of
age big time in the 60s i
mean you're gonna get endless summer documentaries soon and all that shit so it was really coming of
age but this is still before it's mainstream by any stretch outside of hawaii and a little part
of southern california nobody's surfing at this point in time the beach boys when they actually
are on the radio this is crazy that's yeah he's sick he's listening to giddy up 409 while he's fucking going to down to go surfing like literally
in his woody with the board on top it's fucking silly this coop was like his day yeah he's longing
for ronda and fucking talking about it so he does all that like i said he's introduced to skateboarding and surfing
at dave sweet's surf shop his skateboarding apparently and he says this for years was
influenced by a surfer a professional surfer at the time named larry bertelman i don't know
shit about professional surfers except for mickey dora because we covered him and he was a real dick
but and also murph Murph the surf and
Frankie Avalon as we discussed in our Patreon episode we discussed that Frankie Avalon could
have been the trigger that set BTK off if you want to find out the connection between BTK killings
and Frankie Avalon's beautiful hair you listen to the bonus episodes this week because it's there. Trust me. We found it.
We found it.
That bastard.
So apparently this surfer, he was known for dragging his hands along the waves as he rode them.
Like he was almost like Braille with the waves.
Bertelman?
Yeah, Bertelman.
And Jay really liked him a lot.
So here's a quote from Jay.
We'll start right out with that.
Quote, I grew up in Venice, and when I was four years old, my stepfather owned a beach rental place.
He rented surfboards and surf mats under the Pacific Ocean Park.
POP was like an amusement park right on the border of Venice and Santa Monica.
All of the surfers used to hang out at the shop, and they're the ones who introduced me to skateboarding.
My earliest skateboarding influence was fully surfing i mean i grew up surfing and skating at the same time and
skating was always something to do when you weren't surfing back then you were a skater and you copied
surfing skateboarding was just surfing on land it's totally different now see that's what i mean
that that thing where they like have their hands out, make, they were doing surf moves. It was supposed to be land surfing.
It was all it was,
is a great way to put it for him.
Um,
so it was,
it really was a lot different.
Everything was different.
It just wasn't considered,
it was skateboarding.
It wasn't considered like a thing on its own.
It was just an extension of surfing.
It's kind of like lacrosse is just hockey players in the off season.
Cause that's literally
it's hockey and fucking yeah all of the hockey guys i knew played lacrosse in the off season
because it just kept you in shape for hockey because it's the same sport uh just you know
without skate so that's pretty much what it is it's you can't surf for um apparently there's a surfboard place uh jeff ho's surf surfboards
h-o-s-e h-o h-o and h-o apostrophe s jeff ho uh surfboard maker and uh zephyr productions is in
there too and that's where the z boys is going to come into and they're on uh i guess on southeast
corner of bay and main in santa monica the time, across the street from the Sunrise Mission next to the liquor store.
Ah, yes.
Where all the kids should be hanging out.
Near the Mission next to the liquor store.
That's where you send your kids to hang out every night, right?
You say, go on, Press.
Go down to the Mission and the liquor store and hang out in front of the surf shop there.
No, no, it's fine.
You'll be okay.
That's what you tell them
too long at the mission head over to the liquor store it's all back and forth yeah you just back
and forth you just give her like a bag lunch and you drop her off down there i know how it works
maybe you get some neat at the mission who knows find out there you go i'll pick you up at dark
don't worry about it so that's south santa monica north uh uh venice right that's where it's in
between i think yeah i think i'm not i'm not that familiar with that area so i'm not positive because So that's South Santa Monica, North Venice, right? That's where it's in between?
I think so.
I think I'm not that familiar with that area, so I'm not positive.
Because just north of that is Malibu, I think.
Again, you got me.
I don't know shit about the beach.
You're more of a, you go to the, you went to the beach.
I know like LA and like Glendale, Hollywood, shit like that.
I know those, but I don't know shit about, I don't give a fuck about the beach.
I love that like yeah that vibe is so rad there until until you get a little too far south like close to long beach oh yeah yeah then it's gonna get a little then it's like rougher
a little bit yeah it's sketchy then it's like this isn't really a beach it's more of an ashtray
things have gotten different then you get to huntington and it's like is this oil rigs or are
we like rich people what is what's happening here i'm more of a like a rock beach guy than a sand
beach guy i'm starting i'm starting to get there too more for like the i like to go to the beach
in a jacket i'm not getting in it anyway there's fucking charts in there that's what i'm getting
that i want nothing to do with that water i like like it nice and cool. I can have a jacket on and smoke a joint by the waves.
That's what I like.
I want to look at it.
Yeah.
Like Carmel.
I'm going to get the fuck out of here dry.
Carmel waves.
That's what I like.
Carmel Beach up there.
Northern California shit.
Not that southern.
I like the east side near you way up north.
Yes.
That's where I like to be.
That's the other.
Yeah, Maine.
Yeah.
That's gorgeous.
It's so cold.
Nobody's in the water anyway. No reason to be here except to look at it rhode island has some nice look at them beaches
too some all rocks yeah and you can walk around you take in the sea air you go that's refreshing
and you get in your goddamn car and leave and set up shop down there like you live there right i
don't have to dig a fucking umbrella into the sand and put shit on my kids. We were just, fuck, don't tell mom the babysitter's dead.
We did it for PSA Hate This Movie this week.
And one of the fucking scenes we're just talking about, the idiot in the clown dog truck, right?
Yeah.
There's one scene where they're hanging out at the beach in LA.
He drives a goddamn clown dog truck right onto the sand.
He's like crooked in there.
They're walking around like, what are you, making yourself at home?
Get the fuck out of here.
Go park in a parking lot, you nutcase.
What is wrong with you?
Don't make the beach your home.
You can't do that when there's boulders.
The girl's like, I just want to go down to the beach this summer.
Nobody in LA goes down to the beach.
Nobody does that.
I think kids, though, still would like it.
This is 91, too, you have to remember.
That's a good point.
Get away from your parents yeah like at the end of that movie she's like i'll
get you know her boss offers her an actual job now and blah blah blah she's like i think i'm
gonna go to design school it's like but you have a job designing shit what are you talking about
but then i thought about it in 1991 that was considered the even if someone offered you
millions of dollars it was considered like no no no you need the college experience like right you remember that like that you know
if you can go to if you have the choice to go to college you do that like that's what people
would say i need an education yeah whereas now it's like listen you get money when you can get
it because it might not always be there get it when you fucking have it yeah we've gone to a job
when you can it's gone to a different way now so anyway back
don't tell mom the babysitter's dead off of that beach community the beach community la um so this
was what this is kind of where everybody started congregating all the dog town guys started
congregating here and um the i guess jay had met je Jeff Ho while they were surfing.
They were literally out fucking paddling out.
And Jay's a seven year old little blonde kid and paddled up and said this when they were coming back in.
And he said, man, the last one was a really good ride.
Who are you?
And the guy said, I'm Jeff Ho.
And he said, you make surfboards, right?
He's 70.
He already knows this shit. The goes i do yeah and jeff said well or jay said i really wish i wish i could
have one of your boards and he goes well maybe you will someday you know maybe you will and that was
that and then later on he ended up obviously knowing jay very well and shit like that so
here's a some jay quotes about how he got started and how the whole scene is set up.
We'll let him talk about it.
His quotes are, he's a weird guy, man.
This is a weird cat.
He says, quote, ever since the first time I was introduced to skating, it's been a savior to me.
He's got a lot of saviors, by the way.
A lot of them, including the actual or what he considers to be the actual savior.
lot of them including the actual or what he considers to be the actual savior yeah he's got he go he's a a junkie anarchist punk homophobic crazy jesus freak
fucking aa guy like he's all of these weird things mixed into one man already everywhere
he's a weird guy um so he said well to
be honest i can't remember the first time i ever saw a road one it was over 32 years ago at that
interview you're probably thinking yeah right 32 years ago skateboarding wasn't even invented
but they were and thank god for me the surfer guys who used to babysit me had their sidewalk
surfboards to ride when they weren't in the water. So this is this is probably 2000.
I think this interview is from he says, I grew up in Venice Beach in the 60s.
In the 60s, skaters were surfers.
Shoot.
In the 70s, most skaters still surfed.
It wasn't until skate parks were part of it that skating took its own path away from surf moves.
I mean, I'm sure in the 60s there was guys who skated who didn't surf, but most of them, I think,
wanted to have this surfer look.
If you lived inland and you didn't have the beach
in your backyard, you could fake it by
surfing down your local hill pretending to be
your favorite surfer of all time.
You could wear all the surfer clothes and act like one
at school. So, skating
was a way to be a poser
surfer, basically.
If you didn't live by the beach, yeah. If you lived in, like, Orange County, you could still pretend to be a poser surfer basically if you didn't live by the beach yeah if you lived in like
orange county you could still pretend to be i guess yeah whatever he said and the the boards
were uh shaped like surfboards then too yeah it makes sense yeah the different way different look
than a lot of them like pointy ends and shit like that pointy end at the at the nose yeah you know
it was definitely a different
different thing than it is now skateboards are weird because they've been the exact same shape
for about 30 years now there is no all there is is a slight difference in width slight difference
in length maybe one guy i'll have a drop more concave than another guy or yeah but outside of
that everybody's board is fucking it's the exact same
fucking board it's so strange uh i mean that's just the way it is and has been but yeah there's
not a lot you got to go by like i said you're i like an i like an 8.75 instead of an eight and a
half like that's really how you got to go by it so it'll make sense if you skate so anyway he said
quote when i went to elementary school there were stoners low riders
jocks surfers and the brothers it's the oddest john hughes movie ever yeah we all know what we
are every one of us writers is in mexican mexicans yeah he's saying that's yeah guys with low riders
stoners jocks so he's stoners you know the spic, Mexican dudes, jocks of all sorts.
I assume that includes everybody.
Stay bra surfers and then black guys.
I think that's what he's getting at here, which that's California.
You just described California in a nutshell.
Describe the West Coast.
Yeah, that's it.
That's all of it.
In Arizona, same thing.
Minus the brothers.
There's not a lot of those there.
A lot less.
Sure. I would say so. Yeah, quite a brothers. There's not a lot of those there. A lot less, for sure.
I would say so, yeah, quite a few.
Quite a few less.
He said, most people stayed in their own group,
but by the time I got to high school,
skaters had their own little group of guys.
Skaters have always been mixed up,
but at first it was mostly white surfer guys.
Later on, everybody got involved.
I thought of myself as a surfer who skated.
But later on, after I started getting paid and getting to travel around the world just to ride skateboards, I changed my mind and knew I was a skater who surfed.
Surfers seemed so lame with their long blonde hair and stuck up attitudes.
They also had this real goody goody image.
Skaters were rebels, fullon thrashers just getting crazy
everywhere we went yeah the skating was these guys made skating punk rock and we'll talk about that
all the the skaters were totally different and then they came in and they were like these hoodlums
that nobody really was before skating like that so skaters are just dirty surfers that's what they
are yeah and shit people who don't live
a place you can surf i mean i live live grew up in fucking wappingers falls new york there wasn't a
whole lot of surfing to do unless i went went to the falls and went down the rocks there's not a
lot going on skaters are dirty surfers in communities where surfing is an is an option
yeah exactly exactly where you're skating and you can see the ocean. You can smell ocean air while you
skate on concrete.
So I guess
he ended up
being on the
Zephyr shop where the guy,
the ho guy made his boards.
He ended up being on
the junior surf team for that shop.
Oh, great. See how the sponsorship
started would be there'd be a surf shop, and you want all the
kids who are interested in surfing to shop there.
So you sponsor the good surfers.
All the kids who like surfing go to these competitions, and they see your name on their
shit, and then they go to your store.
So it makes sense.
You throw this kid a couple bucks, you give him the equipment, you give him his free surf
boards and shit.
And eventually Jordan will copy that with
shoes and that's that's exactly what it was but honestly skating was one of the they did it before
i mean chuck taylor had shoes in the goddamn was the 40s for fuck's sake i mean so but you want
the best equipment always yeah and that's just what it is that's that's a fact um so but i mean
skating got to that right away adams was one of the youngest members of their surf team also there.
They had Tony Alva and Peralta and all these different guys that we'll talk about.
Jim Muir is another one.
Jim Muir, M-U-I-R, his little brother is Mike Muir, who is the singer for Suicidal Tendencies, the band.
So that's interesting.
So that's a fucking wild family maybe that's why suicidal tendencies uh gear became so popular yes skate culture that
absolutely yeah his brother was a fucking huge skater and it was that was everybody loved him
and they started in the they lived here i mean his brother was from here this is where they started
this is their whole that whole culture although guys from that area really gathered around them they all wore suicidal tendency shit so some kid in iowa
would see a guy in thrasher magazine right shooting off a half pipe with a suicidal tendencies fucking
hat flipped up and they'd go buy one yeah that was that so you know how it worked clever it worked
man um so apparently to get on the team they said they had to they had to like do tryouts
like surf tryouts which is fucking interesting but before you could get a tryout you had to
you were required to do time on rat patrol now this is different in different places
rat patrol in like mississippi means to shoot those giant rats with a 22 off the back of
your truck that are on the side of the road rat patrol if you're a wrestler means to look for
fucking groupie women that are hanging around rat patrol if you're a surfer means to when people
you don't know come to the beach to throw rocks bottles and shit and all sorts of things at them until they leave what that's rat patrol yeah it's the local to keep people from like
enjoying their day we're here it's our beach yeah wow destroy yeah the local it's a localism thing
where they would you know some of those beaches were like that yeah if you're not a local and
they don't know you they'll literally throw bottles at you and you can't fucking do anything
plastic sand rake and get the fuck down the road take your little kid yeah that's right motherfucker i know
you bought that at 7-eleven on the way in here yeah take your shitty kid and get off our beach
south of the river what a nice day kids huh this is great jesus, man. So day off from Disneyland.
Yeah.
They're just like, yeah, we're going to take one day.
We walked so much.
We just want to have a day outside today.
Just go relax.
Let the kids frolic in the waves.
It'll be fun.
Oh, my God.
The kids got to cut it.
Her legs open.
Oh, my God.
Her leg with the beer bottle.
Susie got hit in the head with an RC Cola bottle.
We need to go right now.
Let's go.
Come on.
Come on.
Shuffle.
What is it?
Scatter, scatter.
What does he say?
Fucking dangle on Reno 911 when they need to go.
It's not scatter.
It's fucking.
No, I don't know.
Oh, God.
Scramble.
Scramble, scramble.
Scramble, scramble.
That's it.
Scramble, scramble, scramble.
And everybody just runs after they've blown something up. Scramble, scramble, scramble, scramble, scramble, scramble, scramble, scramble. And everybody just runs after they've blown something up.
Scramble, scramble.
So anyway, they also they made an excuse by saying that this also was to protect people for their own good.
Because there were some weird breaks and rocks and shit and stuff.
So if you didn't know where you were going, you could end up getting killed surfing out there.
You end up impaled on a rock.
So, you know, we're doing these people a favor, really.
It's a public service.
Public service.
Fuck you and your kids.
Get off my beach.
I just saved your life.
No, thank you.
No fucking.
Well, maybe after your daughter gets stitches, you'll come back and thank me.
I just saved your trip to the ER, Marjorie. Once the bleeding stops, come back and tell me thank just saved your trip to the er marjorie once the bleeding stops come back and
tell me thank you for protecting your children you're gonna like that so uh stacy peralta he uh
he says quote we were aware of it because we'd go surfing in luke i don't even know how to say
this lucadia or santa barb Barbara where everything was beautiful and the trees
went down to the beach and there was no smog
on the horizon and you didn't have to worry
about getting your tires popped. We went
to the beach here and there were certain streets
you just didn't go down because
of the gangs and stuff like that. It wasn't
like that in San Diego or in the South
Bay. So they said here it was,
you know, you had to protect your territory because you
couldn't really go to a lot of the other beaches. P peralta also said all of us knew we weren't going to get
respect playing football we weren't good enough or academically he said um the one thing we could
make our mark with was skating so he said that's what we all wanted to do and um yeah so the jay
jay has a certain he doesn't give a fuck.
J is not scared of anything.
He's one of these guys who's just like, if you go, hey, I wonder if you could jump off that.
He'd go, I'll fucking try.
And he's like up at the top jumping before you're even like, hey, we were just wondering.
We should do the math first at least to see how he's already jumping.
We should probably call an engineer and figure that out.
Yeah, he's already jumping.
Not figure it out this way.
Shrub fuck broke my neck. It's no good, guys. You can't. Yeah, he's already jumping. Ah, figured it out this way. Shwup, fuck, broke my neck.
It's no good, guys.
I don't think you can.
Yeah.
I don't think you can do it.
That's the type of guy he is, though.
It really is.
One of his friends just said here, quote, one of our friend's parents worked in casting.
This is for a Band-Aid commercial.
Okay.
And he had all of us answer this casting call for a band-aid
commercial for the little kids going on a fucking band they used to have the i'm stuck on band-aids
because band-aids stuck on me and the kids would yeah that was for fucking 30 years that was their
whole commercial so uh they said uh and we had to all get up in front of the camera and sing
i am stuck on band-aids because band-aid stuck on me they all had to sing it and
try to who could be the cutest so he said all of our all of us venice kids trying to be cool
and we all just sucked we froze and jay got up and nailed it boom he gets the job
wow yeah he got up and just fucking he's a ham he didn't give a shit so he got up right away and he'd brand because well not not so fast okay he got the part okay he gets the job and they say quote and then the day of the
commercial he just blew it off he just didn't she just didn't show up he could have just showed up
and yeah he said just didn't show up my parents asked me why jay didn't do the commercial and i
didn't have a clue but i knew it was just cool that was cool he's so cool he doesn't even fucking care about the band-aids commercial
that's awesome he blew off a commercial what a badass that's yeah that's what that was that
was considered really cool although it would be kind of genius if he's stuck with it because
skaters use a lot of band-aid and now a skateboard is shaped like a fucking band-aid it is a big band-aid
band-aid skateboards forever he could no shit and also he could have fucking he could have as he
skated and was cut up all the time he could have done more commercials where he's got like a hundred
band-aids on him it would have been he could have been putting them on his he could have been the
band-aid guy till at least 1982 by then they wouldn't have wanted him anymore because trust me
after what happened they wouldn't have wanted him but that's a little foreshadowing for 1982 here so he gets
the job he just knew it was cool he said quote he just fucked it off he didn't care there's a really
fine line between being incredibly stupid and incredibly cool and he walked it like a champion
unbelievable that's that's what he did and all through his young life that's the line he walked that kind of badass punk rock kind of james dean you know from back then type of thing like
that just fucking cool enough to be a badass but not such a badass that you're an idiot you know
just like oh man he just knows how to skate between the fucking lines man look at that she's swerving
he's weaving so you gotta have calculated gambles and you're just when you're just gambling with with what's
the what's the gain in telling band-aid to go fuck themselves nothing thing he got a lot of friends
yes a lot of street cred but that doesn't do anything for you and that's jay's whole life is
all street cred no bank cred that's the problem that's not good that's not when you're
when your credit is great one place but not in another and one is how you get things and the
other one doesn't matter at all it's really difficult it's a tough thing to do you can't
tell fannie mae and freddie mac i will give you one fucked off band-aid commercial for this house
yeah i fucked it off.
That was, you know, how many kids thought that was cool?
What the fuck?
Give me a good interest rate.
A lot of people thought it was cool.
That doesn't work.
I've tried it.
It doesn't work at all.
I'm pretty cool.
In lieu of a down payment, how about a fucked off bandaid?
Yeah.
What's up with that?
Dude, everyone in elementary school thought it was badass on the playground dude you have no idea this fucking the kids were fucking worshiping me you have no clue
what's that worth in 1967 and now it's later and i need a home so he has everybody says he has add
a lot and the way he acts it makes a lot of sense uh one of his friends said quote
he was out of his head even as a kid I'm 98 percent sure he was ADD he was so charismatic at
nine ten that you couldn't believe it we didn't know what it meant but we'd all gather around him
like moths to a flame we wanted to hang out with him because he was so I wanted to hang out with
him but he was so manic you'd be uh well uh what is this oh you'd be welling along the sidewalk and next thing
he's picked up a rock and thrown it through a window for no reason we all know that kid we all
remember that kid who'd be like what the fuck are you doing like would totally get you in trouble
all the time no No discussion. Yeah.
Just do crazy shit.
And his self-destruction isn't just self-destruction when he's with us and breaking the law.
Now it's like a group self-destruction.
All of us are involved.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're all in trouble now.
You know that kid who can't fight but tries to fight everybody?
Yeah.
And you're out with that kid and you go, God damn it.
I got to fucking get involved again.
So many friends like that as teenagers.
Like, Jesus.
There's six of you and he picks a fight with a dude that has five friends.
What the fuck are you doing?
Now I got to sort this out.
Thanks, asshole.
Thanks a lot.
You jerk.
Now we're all fighting?
God damn it.
Fuck me.
If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia.
But that's okay. I am here for you.
I'm Darcy Carden, and I'm inviting you to listen to my new podcast, WikiHole, from SmartLess Media.
wiki hole from smartless media discover the craziest rabbit holes on wikipedia with me and my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane and if you
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careening through trivia, oddities,
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how the hell did we get here?
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The wait is over.
So far, you're not losing.
The only thing you're losing is my patience.
Quickly, I see that.
Bing!
The queen of the courtroom is back.
I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
OK, so, um.
Not this is not a so.
This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
The Emmy Award winning series returns. How did I know that? That's not him. Yes, ma'am. I would make a beeline for the door.
The Emmy Award winning series returns.
How did I know that?
I have crystal ball in my head.
It's an all new season.
It's streaming.
You can say anything.
Judy Justice.
Only on Freebie.
Now, one thing we have to give his whole crew for, the whole Dogtown crew here, is the pool thing.
Nobody skated pools, really, before these guys skated pools.
Yeah, pools weren't a thing. They just weren't.
I mean, nobody thought about it before that.
Where else in the country, first of all, there's not a lot of empty in-ground pools around the country.
In 1975, except for California and Florida, probably, I don't know where there's a lot of in-ground pools around the country. Good point. In 1975, except for California and Florida, probably,
I don't know where there's a lot of in-ground pools, period.
Unless it's at some mansion somewhere or whatever.
So California, though, pools were relatively common.
Not only relatively, extremely common.
That was why people moved to California to have a swimming pool in their backyard.
That was part of the allure of
it and freezes and by the way it never freezes you don't have to winterize it like people do
back east i never want to pool back here dude like it's it's just a it's a fucking nightmare
like who the hell would want that waking up to a foot of snow was crazy yeah to have a pool you
have to winterize it you do all this shit in arizona you just go still a little too cold and you go back inside and then in march you can swim again yeah
fucking ridiculous so uh but in california that's the other thing is in the 70s la was extremely
inexpensive to live in the 70s it was so fucking cheap out there it's not even funny especially compared to
like the east coast it was a remark you when you look at some of the prices back then it's
unbelievable how there aren't 80 million people living in fucking la because i'm surprised
everybody didn't go there because it was so easy to live there and so fucking cheap and everything
else so there was a lot of people who were snowbirds there who lived back
east but had a house in la with a pool and all that shit back there but what they would do is
they would drain the pool you know so nothing fell in it so nobody had to come and work on it and do
all that shit when they weren't there and then refill it when they come back so there was a lot
of empty pools on top of that in the mid 70s there's a the worst drought that los angeles ever
had so people weren't refilling their pools they didn't have that automatic pool filler thing
because it was wasting water so people just drained their pools so left them dry so there was
an a remark between the snowbirds and the drought just a remarkable amount of empty dry pools in southern california in ground concrete pools so they saw them as
not only is this a cool thing to skate because it's like a fucking they saw it like a half pipe
that you could do other shit build anything right exactly not only that but it's also
very fucking you know kid delinquent fucking badass rock and roll cool to go skate in a pool
it doesn't belong to you in
somebody's fucking backyard and like have a party in someone's backyard that doesn't that doesn't
even isn't even home you know that's that's considered badass that you're doing to somebody
else's property oh you're gonna have to refinish that whole fucking pool it's not it's fucked it's
fucked when you're done skating it, you're totally fucked.
Blasting tiles out of the edging and fucking the plaster up.
Especially after, at first they just went around at the bottom where it really probably just, you could have wiped off the wheel smudges and you'd be fine.
It wasn't until they started hitting the lips that you're probably breaking shit up and
popping those nice tiles off.
Fucking up all the decking around the edge
yeah but i mean they looked at it as just a steep smooth bowl that was like a half pipe in every
direction like they're like you could do a lot in there so when he did an interview later on he was
asked what was the what was it like the first time you skated a backyard pool and jay was relative i
think he was 12 or something when he was doing this with the other kids
were 16,
17.
He's 12 always.
He,
that's the other thing.
And I noticed this is a,
it's not a good thing,
but it's,
it's hard to avoid.
If you're a kid that's slightly more mature than your age or just play,
you come across more older than your age and you end up hanging out with
people who are more than one or two years older than you.
Yeah.
Much older than you.
It's not good for you.
It's not.
Kids that do that end up getting all fucked up because they're skipping stuff and they're not.
It's just not good.
You're influenced by.
The only way that works out is if like you're 12 and your brother is 16 and you're hanging with his friends.
And they're nice to you.
He generally has like a heart to like keep guiding you.
This is okay for you to do. That would be be good that's more of a mentor yeah but if you're just hanging out with
kids that have no vested interest in whether or not you're a piece of shit well if you're a 12
year old delinquent and you're hanging out with 16 year old delinquents yeah that's just your
friends and they're just older delinquents who can drive and shit like it just makes them more
easily get in trouble easier it's just
it's worse so and a 16 year old thinks of worse shit to do than a 12 year old like a bad shit a
12 year old does is not very bad is the bad shit a 16 year old they don't even think of the shit
that the 16 year old's thinking about so um anyway he says kind of scary skating a backyard pool hell
yeah i was a little kid the first time i skated
a pool i was like 13 years old it was fucking it was scary fucking gnarly scary fucking gnarly
i wish that could be the name of this episode scary fucking gnarly that'd be great i gotta
scary gnarly i gotta use that somewhere but i'm writing that down scary fucking gnarly just to be
able to carve around the bowl was hard and i have pictures of tony at home that was even before
going over the lights and shit so this is before they even came up as high as the pool lights you
know where a light is like halfway up the wall maybe a little they were going under that they
were just kind of skating the bottom and just kind of getting the curve of going up the side of the wall.
So they weren't even that momentum.
Yeah, they weren't even going up above the lights yet.
And then, you know, after a pool now, guys are shooting out 20 feet in the fucking air like a rocket.
So he says it was scary, exciting and just new.
It was something really cool.
So, yeah, they do this.
They would find new pools all the time and basically skate them
until somebody drove them off neighbors called the cops or some shit like that and um yeah they
did all that shit uh they would do they they would uh the pools they have the coping in the lips that
line everything and so you know they started to get closer and closer and closer to the top and uh eventually
actually i think tony alva was the first one to clear the lip and actually like go up and do a
you know little thing and come back down everyone was like holy shit he popped out it wasn't even
air it was just yeah a tap you know like so yeah it was pretty it's pretty interesting. So they said, this is from a magazine article,
the outings were charged with teenage aggression
and the adrenaline of dodging the cops
as they violated public ordinances
or trespassed on private property
and even indulged in the occasional breaking and entering.
They had a fuck you attitude toward the authority and convention
and if you fucked with the Z-Boys,
you would likely get your head knocked. So just
a bunch of punks. A bunch of fucking punks
who now you would fucking kill if you
found them in your yard.
At the time you would think they were totally cool if you
were 13 and now as a
40 year old man you'd be like do you know
how much that costs? I'll kill you and you'd be
fucking chasing them with a baseball bat around your
backyard. It's going to cost me 20 grand to
resurface that.
I don't have 20,000.
Chasing, swinging.
Do you have any fucking podcasts I have to make for that?
Second mortgage.
I'm going to be so fucked for another 10 years because you wanted some fun for an afternoon.
You're going to kill James.
You know how many fucking shows?
You're going to kill him.
You happy now?
You killed James.
You just grinded on my travertine you son
of a bitch please don't ruin jimmy's travertine because i don't want to die i'm gonna have to
make more so uh that's awesome so at 13 he was the youngest member to join the zephyr surf team
awesome and uh this was known obviously everybody called it
the dog town crew around there and they had uh zephyr productions and they made all that shit
so uh they said some kids were born and raised on graham crackers and milk he was raised
born and raised on surfing and skateboarding makes sense okay so they heard about this the competition the del mar nationals
in 1975 and this is the only sports we're really going to talk about for two minutes is this got
one competition and it's mainly about their attitude not about any moves they did or scoring
or anything skate competition it's a skate competition in 1975 and it's not a a big giant
it's a big deal in the world but it's not no one knows about it
really it's in 1975 and i've seen the footage of it it's literally trying people going like down
a curve downhill and like not falling off and like people doing like going around cones and
like doing like surf moves and a guy on a handstand and shit like that those this is the moves we're
talking about people like going on like one leg leg doing a ballet thing while they're on the board.
Goofy shit.
What the fuck?
Goofy shit.
I mean, hard balance stuff that you need balance for,
but nothing that's entertaining to look at.
I don't want to watch somebody do that.
Somebody just 50-50'd a goddamn step rail in the Olympics this year.
That's what i'm talking about
the shit they're doing now is bonkers and this is yeah there's no sport that is the that the actual
playing i don't know if you can call it a sport but there's no activity that range that's in the
sports spectrum that has changed more in the actual playing of it than skateboarding in such a short amount of time.
Baseball looks like baseball now as it did in 1915.
The stadiums look the same.
Everything's the same.
Football's always football.
They change what they do.
I just watched footage of Ahmad Rashad because that man's 72 evidently.
So I just watched footage of him playing with Fran Tarkenton.
Vikings in the 70s.
So weird.
So weird.
But watching him play,
I'm just like,
this could have been 10 years ago.
If you told somebody this was in 98,
people would believe it.
It looks the same.
Slight rule changes
where you can't hit a guy there or whatever,
but otherwise, same game.
I mean, since the late 40s
when they really got the forward pass moving,
it's been pretty much the same fucking game.
All these others,
basketball,
they dunk and play a different game, but it's still a hoop and a ball skateboarding went from standing on one leg doing this shit wibble wobble wibble wobble into i'm gonna go
i'm gonna go up this little hill thing i'm gonna do like a fucking eight kick flips in a row while
moves that you can't even fucking name.
If I started naming moves, no one would know what the hell I was talking about anyway.
So all this shit and land it perfectly on a fucking nose grind and then pop yourself off with another eight fucking flip thing and land and go off perfect and then do it again.
And that's like, that was like a seven.
It wasn't that great.
I mean, it was pretty cool.
I mean, you didn't really do anything like new.
You know what I'm saying? from standing on one foot to that what are you talking about and that was in like 30 years that happened that was by 2005 that's what it was like so it's a crazy amount
of forward progression in this game it's a you can do this competitively and have a day job and be a nor and be a dad
yeah or to today you have no life except skateboarding that's it that's it it's like
you have to because otherwise it's so it's like hitting hitting a baseball like unless you're
doing it so much it's so fine-tuned you'll just you can't fucking do it yeah it's hard even nba players when
the off season that sometimes will take a month or two where they don't even touch a basketball
just to right keep in shape and when they go back they're like i shot eight air balls in a row when
i started playing again yeah it's just how it works you know so uh i guess jay was the first
member of the team to enter the competition and he took second place in the junior
men's freestyle so yeah but he did like totally different shit than everybody else and they didn't
know how to even judge him like all the dog town guys came in and they were doing a completely
different thing you know so the judges were like i don't know. Is it better to do a ballet move or to do what that crazy fuck just did?
Like, what's better?
That was or the fucking pirouette that that guy's doing.
Yeah.
I mean, that was very graceful.
Don't get me wrong.
But that looked hard.
What he just did looked hard.
He was off the board that on it again.
That looked difficult.
I don't know how the fuck he did that.
He did it with a joint in his mouth and he blasted that little girl in the face with a Michelob.
That's fucking great.
So their fame in the skateboarding realm, a lot of it came from Craig Stasek, which he had Dogtown Chronicles from in the 1975 relaunch of Skateboarder magazine, which is pre-Thrasher even.
So that's back there.
They had a series of magazine articles chronicling just their adventures, catching up with them
this week.
You know what I mean?
Like some wild, like they were like these fucking herd of wild animals that they just
catch up to and see what they're rummaging and fucking stampeding through this week.
Skateboarding LA, stand by me that's pretty yeah exactly so they've talked they'd get with them with the swimming pool so there would be
pictures in this magazine of them skating you know totally pirate skating these swimming pools
and kids were like that's the coolest fucking thing in the world especially if you didn't live
in california like oh my god this is like who i want that so documenting
criminal empire yeah they would do it they didn't give a shit um so this is from aaron mesa mesa
who's the editor of skateboarding magazine he said if it wasn't for them skating would have
gone straight into toys r us it was like roller skating there wasn't anything aggressive about it
they made it aggressive they gave it that rebellious image.
That's what it was.
And they would compete with each other to drive each other for different tricks and different moves.
And they pushed each other.
And this wasn't like that before.
It was just like this laid back thing you do, man, before that.
They made it fucking competitive.
So Adams was one of the first people in the magazine that they showed actually getting some fucking air out of the pool, which blew everybody's goddamn mind.
They were like, holy shit.
Yeah, he's a teenager doing this.
He's fucking ripping it.
Yeah, these stupid moves they were doing, though.
Hand stands, these weird 360 little loop-de-loop things uh wheelies they do just like
a little wheelie and like oh look what i'm doing who fucking cares do that with your truck on the
corner of something hard motherfucker and keep that going for a while and that's something yeah
so um yeah it was a huge huge thing to get them in there um so the they said that uh um
the the the attitude of them was the big deal they had um these skaters they're all
from this point on anybody who skates is like kind of you can't be like a dork and skate it's
just like a weird thing like you can like if
you're like in front of your house but if you're gonna go out and like skate where kids are
they're gonna be merciless to you you have to like you know you have to yeah you gotta be
counterculture grungy uh yeah be about it be about the skate life yeah you have to have a certain
street cred you have to or you have to be really good at skating you could be a total you know
whatever but if you can pop off some moves or it's like god damn that motherfucker's good you know people are be a herb and some brooks
brothers doing some kickflips if you can yeah people be like god damn badass yeah he's amazing
yeah no shit um so everybody said uh this is uh the editor of skateboarder another one he said
the dog town guys came to that competition in Del Mar
and just terrorized everybody. These guys were so different and unique, they made quite an
impression. This is from Danny Way, who's a fucking great skater. Christ, I had one of his boards when
I was a kid. They still make them. He said Jay was one of the biggest innovators of skateboarding in
his time. He brought a carefree personality to skateboarding and skateboarding has always been a little rebellious so that's kind of where we're at he's going to try to turn this into money now
okay okay now he doesn't really care that much about money but he'd like some money
so the zephyr team ends up breaking up after the del mar nationals which happens it's like it's
like a great super bowl team jimmy it's going to break up. People are going to. Got to rebuild.
They're going to poach them.
That's what happens.
Half the team formed a new team, and the guy who sponsored that was Jay's stepfather, Kent
Sherwood.
Oh, over there at the surf shop.
Yep.
And he was the guy who made the Zephyr boards from that point.
So Sherwood and Jay created the brand and the team Easy Rider with a Y.
Easy Rider with a Y.
Obviously, you know, trying to be like, yeah, man, like the papers, but not.
And also like the movie.
It's like the movie.
It's like the rolling papers, but they're wider and we're rider.
You get it, right?
I think there's a lot of things there.
and we're Ryder.
You get it, right?
I think there's a lot of things there.
So they ended up changing the name to Z-Flex six months later.
From Easy Rider to Z-Flex?
Z-Flex.
Or Zephyr to Z-Flex?
No, Easy Rider to Z-Flex.
They had to keep the Z in there somewhere.
And Adams is the face of the brand.
It's his, but he's 16,
and he is the face of a skateboarding brand.
Awesome. Which people back then unless
they were like a musical pop star or something and when you were 16 you weren't the face of shit
you were the face of nothing when you were 16 now there's fucking kids who make 40 million dollars
a year on tiktok or fucking 12 i'm not talking about that you didn't do that you know how many
12 year old millionaires there were in 1975?
Not a lot.
Not a fucking lot.
One, when a 60-year-old millionaire died and all they had was a 12-year-old to leave it to.
I mean, even back then, if you were like Michael Jackson, you were making, producing millions.
You weren't getting millions.
That one was paying you the fucking millions. I mean, if you were a kid.
Joe was rich as shit.
It's rough.
was paying you the fucking millions i mean if you're a kid it's rough so uh jay says quote the z flex days were cool because i was 16 years old and i was making money not a whole lot but enough
to think i was a pro skater and quit school so there you go that's good and what quit school
one more say that again i'm gonna quit school at 16 said he said he's gonna quit school there's no fucking
way i'm a pro 13 year old said i'm making enough money to quit school quit school yeah my stepdad
makes these boards and i'm the face of them so you know fuck school man i mean i don't need this
anymore what the fuck so strange so literally doing this in your spare time. You can continue that.
Yeah, what do we need Jay for at like 9 a.m.? I don't think we need him at 9 a.m.
We took pictures of you skating.
You go out there on Saturday.
There's some competition thing.
Go to that.
Wear our T-shirt.
That's it.
Go to fucking math class, asshole.
What are you doing?
What time does your shift down at the abandoned pool start?
What are you talking about?
You can do this.
Everybody that's
going to be watching this is in school like what are we you're not generating money no not at not
at noon all those kids are in school so get right go to school dick maybe you won't get fucked over
so much if you learn math right you don't have a show at 10 a.m on tuesday probably fucking ass to
class jesus uh so he said he quit school and
he said that was all right too but it got weird yeah it does get weird should have should have
been weird day one what are you talking about why am i not in school this is strange he said
financially things weren't right i was always i always got taken advantage of by people that's
because you were a child right you were in a cash register
to adults we talking about yeah stupid that's why you stay in school at least you haven't learned
through an education that that's what adults do when when they find somebody they can take
advantage of yeah and when you're a kid you don't care about money and you go why do adults care so
much about money that's so ridiculous and then once you're an adult you go oh my god i see why everybody robbed me when i was a
kid because jesus i wish i hadn't spent all that money back yeah fuck that is pretty important i
like food so he said um and i hated being pro i always hated talking about skating pretty much
i used to think all the pro shit was really stupid. It used to embarrass me.
I would walk in with 7-Eleven when I had the cover of a magazine and people would ask me about it.
Skating was kind of big for a while and it would embarrass me and I'd lie.
He'd say, fucking, I'm not that guy.
What are you talking about?
That's not me on the magazine.
It just got worse and worse later on.
The SMA thing was in those days just after the whole pro trip.
That's a brand, by the way, Santa Monica Airlines.
According to Stacy Peralta, he says, quote, Adams is probably not the greatest skater of all time, but I can say without fear of being wrong that he's clearly the archetype of modern day skateboarding.
So he said he's the godfather of modern day skateboarding.
He birthed what we're watching today.
Yes, exactly.
So then he even said Peralta compared him to Mozart.
Oh, Peralta.
Wow.
Later on, I don't think Mozart would do what he did.
We'll talk about that.
He says, quote, the movie Amadeus, when Amadeus comes to the court where Salieri is and Salieri plays a piece and then Mozart sits down and says, I think I can do this. And he plays the piece so much better than Salieri could have ever even conceived. He starts playing it and he adds all this stuff to it without even really knowing
what he's doing it just starts coming through him that was jay adams most people have a 20 amp plug
in them this guy has a hundred amps all the time so that's he's just a natural you can't fuck with
him that's basically what it is grace absolutely grace i mean think about it he's 16 and if you could freeze time right now and be that
forever a 16 year old kid that everybody thinks is badass and girls want to fuck and you have like
your name on a fucking you're on magazine covers and you get paid to skateboard you don't have to
go to school and you smoke weed and fucking
that's your life like how do you think you're i've hit the fucking lottery and everything all
at once i'm in heaven with a winning lottery ticket sitting here clearly whatever the path
is for a corporate society in america at that time is wrong because what I'm doing is not that and
it's working. So crushing it, you figure it out. If you could freeze time, if you could,
if at any point in your life you could go, you could like hit the button, like in that no whammy,
no whammy, and you hit it and everything stops. If there was a button that you could hit and now
everything stays exactly like it is. And we just live in a perpetual groundhog day of exactly who i am right now that for him would have been the stop stop done this
keep it spinning this is exactly what i want to do forever and then confetti rains from the ceiling
and everybody says you're a big winner you're a big winner but unfortunately usually people who
do really well when they're 16 it doesn't work out later on a lot of times
especially in ways like this so a lot of skateboarding people didn't like them uh actually
too they were like they were like the hell's angels to the ama at some point here that's what
they were exactly what they were looked at they're changing the game and to something that those guys
can't do and that's that's threatening and they're little punks too
is what they say uh skateboarding association executive director i guess they're for all the
competitions and shit sally ann miller told people magazine about tony alva who's you know one of
these guys here one of the dog town guys quote everything that was vile in the sport. That's what he said. Alva represented everything that was vile in the sport.
Because Alva appeared in a movie called Skateboard in 1977, even, where he played Leif Garrett's rival, which is fucking funny as shit.
So, yeah, she said that everything that's vile.
She said that she was trying to protect the sanctity of organized skateboarding.
The sanctity. organized skateboarding the sanctity oh fuck you what sanctity did a five-year-old organization about skateboarding where people are doing 360s and pirouettes and shit have any what sanctity did
that have there's no sanctity there the biggest trick was stand on one foot fuck you yeah what
the fuck are you talking about yeah this guy's no no not
happening so did was the second winning trick pat your head and rub your belly while skateboarding
while scape and then the one guy did it on one leg and the dude it went people ran out of there
like it was like an and one video it was like an and one video where somebody bounced a ball off
someone's forehead and then dunked on him. People ran away from the court and then
came back five seconds later.
Stumbling, holding their cheeks.
Shit!
Off his fucking
head! Oh my
God!
One foot!
He patted
and he tapped on one foot! Holy
shit!
Oh my God, man, I never seen anything like that. he patted and he tapped on one foot holy shit oh my god man this other motherfucker just put juicy fruit
in his mouth
he's chewing
he's chewing
he's chewing skating rubbing tapping
on one foot holy shit
I'm gonna come
I'm gonna come
hall of fame wow that's what it was like Holy shit. I'm going to come. I'm going to come.
Hall of Fame.
Wow.
That's what it was like.
MVP chance breaking out.
Get him a gold jacket.
He just winked at a girl, man.
He's so cool he's even looking at chicks on the side while he's doing it.
I'd be concentrating because you're going to die if something happens to you out there when that's going on.
He's out here tricking and dicking. Look at him.
Slinging dick and popping tricks. That's what I'm talking about.
That's what J. Adams' shirt should have said. J. Adams slinging dicks and popping tricks.
With a skateboard in the middle. Slinginging dicks and popping tricks bitch
oh boy
with a guy with his hands out standing on one
that's it that's what we need with a With a bubble coming out of his mouth because he's blowing a bubble.
Hand on his head, one on his belly.
Bubble.
One foot out.
Slinging dicks, popping tricks.
That's what we fucking need.
That's our new t-shirt.
That's it.
I'm literally drawing a little stick figure of it as we speak right now.
This was a fun board meeting.
That's it. And new merch up fun board meeting. That's it.
And new merch up in the shop.
That's going to be up this week, I promise.
Oh, yeah.
Hopefully.
I feel bad.
I don't know if Sarah's busy, but I'm sure she'll be excited about it.
My stomach hurts.
That's so good.
That's so fucking funny, man.
So goddamn funny.
Oh, God.
So the whole the rat bones thing becomes a very, remember the rat bones logo?
Yes.
Do I?
It's two cross bones with like the rat face, dog, rat head look.
It's like a dog rat.
Yeah.
They still make rat bones wheels.
I have them on one of my fucking boards.
They're pretty good wheels.
They make them again.
Yeah, they're good.
Do they look like the rat fink logo?
Look it up. Look up the, look up the. Is it green? No, look up rat bones. That's all. They make them again. Yeah, they're good. Don't they look like the Rat Fink logo? Look it up.
Look up the-
Is it green?
No, look up Rat Bones.
That's all.
Oh, look it.
Rat Bones logo.
Okay.
It'll take me just a second to get through this.
It's pretty good.
Yeah?
So they said that all over the country that was popping up, like graffiti.
Kids were spray painting it on their half pipes and shit.
It became a real underground fucking thing here. Oh yeah you remember rudimentary yeah totally looks like somebody
looks like you could draw it easily with a with spray paint that's exactly what it is that's the
whole light and bones yeah the two bones bones yeah okay got it yep that's the one so um yeah
the uh who said this here okay uh this is bob uhiniak, who's a pro skater who's really good back then.
He says, quote, after we made the scene in Del Mar, there were skate companies coming after us and offering us things.
People started turning them down at first, but then after a while, the team started to unravel, which is when they all kind of broke up.
He said, we all came from nothing.
We wanted the BMWs and we wanted the stuff.
And that was partly how we got those things.
And it was kind of a sad story.
So there you go.
Like I said, him and his stepfather, Jeff Ho, said, quote, the sponsorship money, all
the corporate crap, guys wanting to make money and shit.
Intellectually, i could understand it because
everybody had to move on and do their own thing but it ripped everything up it was just over well
yeah you wanted to keep a team together of guys and not pay them you know not be able to pay the
money when they wanted to fucking like be able to pay rent and do things they're trying well not
just make a living they're trying to get rich from something that they should be able to get rich
from it's certainly a talent you're in like a you know a community basketball league and someone got drafted by the nba or whatever
there's somebody the equivalent of getting paid and you're like no keep the team together no
you're going up if you get called up so i quit school for this no shit that's the other thing
i don't go to school anymore so uh lots of this is when they started to become kind of famous biniak did
a halftime demonstration at the rams raiders game at the coliseum with 85 000 people there
in the late 70s that was their halftime show was him doing some skateboard shit
um what uh nathan pratt did a jump stunt in a movie there. He got $300 per foot.
And he told him that he said, I'm going to jump at least 15 feet, so you better have that cash, is what he said.
They told him they'd pay him for as long as he went.
And Alva and Peralta, Alva, we told you, was in the Leif Garrett movie.
And Peralta made it into an episode of Charlie's Angels.
No shit. Yeah, there was always just some skateboarding kid doing something.
But still, they were on TV doing shit.
They were the guys you'd call if you need a skateboard kid to put in.
They were the ones everybody knew.
Now, the skate parks became a big deal at this point.
This is when skating changed a lot because a million skate parks opened.
And even Action Park made a skate park in the late 70s.
That's right.
And that was
in fucking new jersey so by california in california there were skate parks exploding everywhere and
kids were trying to get into it and uh jay jay didn't like the skate parks at all i wouldn't
either because it's like it's a bunch of people that are just getting into this that are doing it
for fun and there's yeah literally hundreds of people here that they're not doing this seriously.
And I'm trying to do dangerous shit.
I'm trying to hurt myself and your six year old is in my way.
Will somebody throw a bottle at this six year old?
I thought we solved this fucking problem with the beach.
I don't want to tell every single person here.
So I'm going to tell you all at once.
I quit school for this.
I quit school for this i quit school for this
so he says during the skate park days skating got pretty soft for a while you know some of the
people into it were into it for the money only trying to make us all clean cut little american
dream teams like some lame ass baseball team or something with matching little team uniforms and
stuff. But the real skaters wanted nothing to do with their lame little plan for our sport.
Skating was never a team sport for me. It was something me and my friends got together and
had fun doing, not being told how to do it. That's what ruined it for me. You know, go to the park,
check in, put on safety equipment, deal with the people in charge of how you're supposed to ride,
and last but not least, obey all the rules. Lame.
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Fucking lame.
This whole thing is supposed to have no rules.
Lame. No more driving down alleys, standing on the top of a car, looking over every fence to find another killer pool to get crazy in.
That's what they do there.
Don't get me wrong, he says, parks had their special moments
and definitely had some of the best terrain ever made for skating.
But for me, and for most of the people I skated with at the time,
we had a hard time being told what to do or how to do it.
I think I got kicked out of every park I ever went to.
Reseda's owner, Lou Peralta, must have hated me.
I mean, every time I ever went over there, I got kicked out.
Now I'm older and I realize the rules were meant to protect everybody.
But when I was 16, no way.
I thought every rule was made to make life harder.
I hated wearing gloves and especially wrist guards.
Yeah, that's fucking, wrist guards suck.
And at a lot of parks it
was the mandatory skate wear they were always yelling uh they were always there were always
kids yelling next and we were like yeah right kook fuck off everybody okay no i'm doing this
they're calling next and he's like fuck out of here i'm not done gonna be a while asshole
he said everybody got snaked and we were the kings
of skating i remember marina dog bowl 20 guys in one little hole to drop through alva would go 10
times more than the other guys and people would get pissed ta got his eye socked really bad by
some guy at recita i think that guy got mobbed after the first punch uh punch but tony's eye
was ruined so yeah that's this bunch of punk kids fucking
fighting with each other um he says we dog towners were probably hated more than any other group of
guys at the time we'd go to some skate park out of town and try to take over people would follow
you around all day trying to outdo you everybody wanted to be the best skatopia had some really gay rules by the way not my words he uses
gay very much in uh just a weird pejorative fashion that like very 2008 ish you know
southern california stuff this is this was a very it's what they said uh he says like you couldn't
get out of control or radical as they put it i think that was my favorite rule to break stop
being radical don't be so rad around here fucking i'm too rad for you bro um i think that was my
favorite rule to break now that i look back on it there's no way i could act like we did when uh
when we did back then we were 100 out of control and everything we did skating partying driving
down the freeway. Didn't matter.
I remember being in Mexico City.
Some park flew us down there to open it up for them.
The owners must have been down with the police because that's who we scored our weed from.
Okay.
That's nice.
Yeah. Yeah.
This guy takes us to get some weed and up comes this police car.
The cop was his friend who opened up the trunk and pulled out a handful of trash bags full of buds.
I was thinking, shit, this doesn't happen back home.
Like, this isn't very normal.
Yeah, because the police in Mexico will take your weed and threaten you with 10 years in prison or give me 50 bucks.
Or, yeah, or they'll sell it to you.
It doesn't matter, especially in this is in the 1980 probably.
He said back home, he said, cops are a skater's enemy, not the guys you score your weed from.
Those are different groups of people.
He said that same trip, Alva broke the phone in my hotel room.
The owner had the cops come down to make me pay for it.
I was like, I didn't break your lame ass phone.
The phone isn't lame.
He broke it.
Everything's lame.
It's real lame, man.
TA was laughing his ass off, Tony Al alva laughing his ass off the whole time i think he threatened to keep me in mexico if i didn't pay
for it i can't really remember most of our trips to places like that they were filled with skating
all day then drinking tequila and getting hookers okay i'm gonna do it in their own words here i
think we need it in their own words how old
i'm gonna explain all this in this next segment of in their own words here let's do this in their
own words quote they were filled with skating all day then drinking tequila and getting hookers
i was like 16 or 17 i remember being in this full-on legal whorehouse and this big fat mexican
lady was trying to get me.
I was running away from her, yelling, fuck you, fat ass, I want your friend over there.
My friend who was with us spoke Spanish and saved me.
Shit, she was squirting milk out of her tits and chasing me around.
I was young enough it freaked me out pretty hard.
We got to travel around the world just skating and acting like crazy kids.
Oh my god, what a scene. We got to travel around the world just skating and acting like crazy kids. Oh, my God.
What a scene.
First of all, she's trying to rape a baby and she's squirting titty milk at him.
Come here.
If I hit you with titty milk, it means I get you.
Is that what that means?
It's like licking the doorknob.
It's like laser tag.
It's the world's grossest laser
tag i think is what it is up you're out sorry i hit you i'm tops on the leaderboard i get to sit
on your face i don't know what's going on there man what a fascinating scene this is in the 70s
so this is i mean it it's it's just crazy wow i don't even know what to say about that. But these are his stories that he has to tell.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
So you got to fucking, wow.
All right.
So 1980 comes around.
And skateboarding is less like mainstream popular.
It was kind of a fad in the late 70s.
And now people realized how hard it is.
That's the thing about skating.
Skating's like playing an instrument. Like it looks really cool and you want to do it but then when you get an instrument you start playing it you're like fuck this is hard i gotta play this like all
the time and practice and learn if i'm gonna be any good at it or else i just suck and it's not
fun right but and very similar to an instrument if you're timid at all with it yeah you're gonna
fucking hurt yourself you're gonna hurt yourself skating is one of those things where it's it's not fun to suck at skating
no it's not it's not fun to fall down or to not be able to do tricks you're like i'm just skating
this blows so and you have to you have to own it you have to do it and and go hard on it otherwise
you are going to fall and you're going to be in the hospital yeah and it's
overwhelming if you're a little kid let's say you're 10 years old you want to start skating
your mom takes you to a skate park back then and you put your helmet you put all your shit on you
don't even know how this stuff goes on you're like am i wearing it right you go out there with
the skateboard you don't even know how to fucking balance you want to and there's guys flying around
shooting up in the fucking you're like holy like, holy shit, this is scary.
You don't know what to do.
You try to just ride from here to there and you fall down.
And there's a guy shooting out of the thing eight feet into the air and then landing it on a vert ramp.
And you're like, what the fuck, man?
And then you go, never mind, this isn't for me.
And you go back to what you're doing.
So that's what happened.
There was a surge of kids trying it for two years.
And then, oh, wow, that's really hard.
Never mind. And then they stopped there's no youtube or anything like that that gives you
any any types of tricks or tips it just tells you put your feet on the board and push that's
that's the tip yeah try not to fall um at this point a lot of the skaters even the dog town guys
started kind of getting out of skating a little bit they'd still skate but like tony alva was in in college biniak went to college like a bunch of these guys kind of
went off of there um but uh not jay he sticks around obviously in the area and it's his
personality yeah and uh we have to bring up suicidal tendencies again here um which were
you did you like suicidal like in high school or when you were like a junior high it's a junior high band it's like the seventh grade
yeah it didn't it didn't so i didn't really like them i didn't really get into much punk uh until
i liked i liked ska more than punk like agent orange and shit like our operation orange not
agent orange was that agent orange a band? Operation Ivy and Agent Orange.
Ivy, that's it.
It was Agent Orange and Operation Ivy.
I listened to them.
That's what you're talking about.
Me first and the Gimme Gimmes.
They were just cover shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was ska that was cover.
There was a few different bands that I listened to, but I wasn't really into.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Did you have anybody older than you that that wasn't in okay i have a cousin
of mine pistols i guess i have a cousin who's nine years older and grew up in long beach in this time
like and was a skater and shit so like he got me into like all that i knew all like the i knew all
the bands like that you know little kids didn't listen to he gave me tapes and she was really
fucking awesome influence in that way so but i liked uh a lot of the kids i knew we liked suicidal and shit because they were crazy
and they were kind of funny too at the same time so that was one of those things that's
it's a cool fucking logo too yeah absolutely this good sense of humor institutionalized and you know
subliminally and fucking i shot reagan and all that shit's kind of funny you know just being
fucking silly just Just being silly.
I guess Misfits was cool too, but that's...
They were mainly like cool t-shirts that people wore.
Yeah.
The band itself, I thought, was less cool than the t-shirts.
Yeah.
And the Misfits, people wore those t-shirts all the time.
The most punk I get is Social D,
and I didn't even start getting into them until the late 90s.
And I really like them.
That's pretty soft shit though too. That's not really like um that's just like mechanic it's almost yeah that's almost like
ska shit too it's not ska social d people relax i get it but it's not people love that band yeah
it's just not and i want to say soft i don't mean bad i mean compared to fucking minor threat they're
soft you know what i'm saying like that's that's the difference i'm talking like all like the you know suicidal or anything ian mckay was doing or any of that shit
yeah okay it's hard to listen to a lot of and i was always in a garage working on something with
with fucking grease around and and yeah it was and with my stepfather or my uncle or whatever
so we listened to like whatever softer shit and really. Gonna take it downtown.
I'm just looking for.
That's what you're fucking listening to with those guys.
Lots of Bob Seger.
That's good though.
Who the fuck doesn't want to listen to Bob Seger?
That's great.
But,
and social D was like,
that was my thing that I felt like I was giving back to them.
Like,
yeah,
your,
your Eagles are okay,
but listen to this. And so I was kind of pushing them like yeah your your eagles are okay but listen to
this and so i was kind of pushing them towards a little more grungy shit not necessarily fucking
hilarious i love you i still do so uh this suicidal was a third third landmark band here in this whole
scene and everything so j Jay loved punk rock too.
He loved it.
He loved going to the shows,
um,
and all that sort of shit.
And,
uh,
people knew him around the time.
And he says,
uh,
quote,
during that time,
I was into LA punk rock.
Uh,
life was filled with violence in order for me to have a good night.
Someone else had to have a very bad night. Now that, now that I'm older, I know that shit ain't right, but at the time it was fun with violence. In order for me to have a good night, someone else had to have a very bad night.
Now that now that I'm older, I know that shit ain't right.
But at the time it was fun and games.
OK, so that's his attitude.
He's going out looking for shit to get up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now he'll change his tune in court after this incident.
All of a sudden now I wasn't looking for trouble, but he was looking for fucking trouble, you you know and he has several different takes on
what happens here either way this is a fucking horrible incident um it's outside of a suicidal
tendencies concert there's a show going on so everybody's all jacked up fucking i'm not crazy
it's fucking in the background and he's with the band you know what i mean oh yeah he knows they all know him he's and that
that hubris gives you an arrogance that is far too much to be at the show you're gonna start
problems he almost needed to be put away jimmy yeah they put him in an institution they said it
was the only solution to get the need of professional help to protect him from the enemy himself jimmy
that's the problem the enemy himself it's true so he said that uh
this one night though this was outside of okie dog in hollywood okay and the um shit was going
on suicidal show inside people are fucking insane in there and inside's crazy outside's crazy
apparently they stopped there uh was on the way home from a suicidal
concert so they're all jacked up him and his crew adams and his whole ball of his buddies stop off
at this place at oaky dog in hollywood to eat apparently um you know this isn't fucking
hollywood so i mean there's all sorts of different people in hollywood man and you can't you can't be
not okay with that if you go there if you go go to Hollywood and you see a seven-foot fucking tall drag queen dressed like the Queen of England, you're on their turf.
So you better fuck.
You know what I mean?
You say, how you doing?
You're at the forum and the Lakers are playing.
You give her a queenly wave and you fucking move on because that's where you are, motherfucker.
Like, what are you doing?
So relax.
You ask her what time crumpets are and you keep on walking.
That's it.
Queen Mother.
And you keep going.
So they end up there's a there's a couple, two gay men there.
One of them's name is Dan Bradbury.
And one guy's white.
The other one's black, too.
I'm sure I don't know if that had any influence on the proceedings as well.
influence on the proceedings as well but um there's a there's a lot of people i think in 1982 that that's like a bat signal going up to see an interracial gay couple there's a lot of hatred
there's so much happening their mind cannot absorb no it's just too much uh for them
apparently they walked by and people were fucking shouting at them,
calling them names and doing all that.
Hey,
what's up?
You know,
you got whatever fucking slurs and all sorts of shit.
So apparently one of them turned back and said,
fuck you assholes or whatever.
Something of that nature.
Fuck you.
You fucking assholes.
Something of that nature.
So Adams fucking pops up off off his fucking seat and runs over
and starts wailing on the one guy starts hitting him now apparently the crowd moves in with him
following him in and they fucking stomp this guy we're talking about a bunch of punk rock guys
wearing fucking combat boots and shit like that like steel toe boots and mohawks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is not a good scene at all.
They stopped this guy.
Apparently, Jay walked away once everybody got into the melee.
He got pushed out of the way and everything and ended up taking off and running away.
They killed this man on the street.
What?
They killed this man on the fucking street.
They beat this poor guy to death on the fucking street.
Can you imagine?
That is my God.
Horrific.
Just a couple of guys were just going out in a town in Hollywood and yeah,
beaten to death on the fucking street by,
you know,
assholes.
I guess every ball,
they were all drinking tequila and they were all hopped up and fucking on,
you know,
hopped up on,
uh,
I shot Reagan and they got mad and fucking,
uh,
disgusting.
Yeah. It's pretty fucking disgusting.
So, yeah, that's what happens now.
It's obviously fucking horrible.
Jay is initially arrested for murder because he should be.
You know, he started a fucking riot that murdered a man.
So we'll talk about it legally.
His ramifications in here.
But we have to talk about how Jay describes this because he describes it in multiple different ways.
And then it's described by outside forces totally differently.
So he says this is what he says.
And I quote, you better have a good fucking excuse for this shit.
Like, oh, no, he said he had a gun and threatened us.
What do you say?
Like, I don't know.
He said he had a gun and threatened us.
What do you say?
Yeah.
Unless he turned around with a loaded weapon in my face and I felt I was on the threat of my life.
That would be the only thing he says.
Nowadays, punk rock is softer than it used to be. But I like the music.
The music is still good.
I don't think it's all about violence.
I don't have to wake up and hate everybody all day and hate every other kind of music anymore like I used to.
I was pretty brainwashed by it in the early 80s.
I was pretty pissed off at everything for no reason, just so I could go out and start fights with people and beat guys up and have my friends beat them up.
I started a fight where a guy died, and I went to jail for murder, but I got convicted of assault.
It was after a show at the Starwood.
We went to a place called the Okie Dogs,
and two homosexual guys walked by,
and I started a fight.
That's just how every fucking night was for me back then.
I used to go out and start shit with people,
and that was my job.
I was the instigator.
We would go have a gang of about 40 of us,
guys backing us up,
all suicidal boys,
all the friends of the band and all that
shit so punk rock to me used to be violence and fucking shit up but now it's something that i put
in to get amped up from the music so he he he glazed over that like it was i mean yeah we
murdered a guy and stuff but i mean other than other than that, like, what the fuck are you out of this whole paragraph?
Jimmy, there's lines on the page, not even sentences.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13 lines that would go down.
There's what one line about the fight about murdering a man out of 13.
The rest.
I like this.
I was pretty pissed off,
you know, I don't like the music.
He had more things about how he feels
about modern punk music than he fucking has
about starting a fight that murdered a person.
That's insane.
And it's not starting a fight.
If there's 40 of your dudes backing you up
and there's two fucking gay guys walking down the street
that you want to start some shit with,
that's not a fight.
For lack of a better term, that's a bashing, is start some shit with that's not a fight that's that's a that's a that for lack of a better term that's a bashing is what that is that's not a fucking fight that's that's jumping two gay guys that's what that is that's what that is yeah and
it's also probably the intolerance of gay people is maybe the least punk rock thing i've ever heard
no it is and the other thing is would they have been talking shit to them and beat them up if
they weren't gay yes probably
that's the other thing this is a random thing and that people that walk by happen to be gay but
whatever they were walking by if it was somebody who was walking by who looked preppy they would
have been picking on him for that and if he said anything it was stopped him they walk by they're
gay let's fuck with them for that and then they're gonna say something and then we stop them so it's
i'm not saying that wasn't a uh uh an influence on it but these guys are assholes and i think they're starting fights
with everybody and yeah they probably got a little extra kick out of oh cool these guys won't fight
back you know what i mean or whatever the fuck they thought you know these guys will be pussies
another question is why is this kid so fucking angry? That's what I don't get. He's had everything in the world fall in his lap.
Why is he so mad?
What the fuck?
Yeah.
He's mad at this point because he said he doesn't like the whole thing.
He's very like, I'm fucking too punk rock for this shit, and it's all corporate, and then I get pushed out.
I think he's just mad that he's not making money and other people are.
That's what I think it is.
You grew up in fucking venice can you imagine what
it's like to live in fucking corpus christi you fucking idiot like how how can you be so angry
i don't fucking understand that's what i mean you don't even have to go to school man
fuck you yeah you don't have to do dropped out at 16 you're getting blow jobs and free weed
you're complaining for mex and free weed you're complaining
for mexican cops and you're bitching you're fighting women off because you're not happy
with how big they are and you're going to concerts and smoking weed and going to okie dogs at 16
you're doing great man well he's a he's like 19 by now but still it's been his whole teen years
he's doing great killing Yeah. What a dick.
So when asked about the incident or the murder in an interview with Wildland Magazine, this was in the 2000s,
he denied that the fight had anything to do with sexual orientation at that point.
He said, this is yours.
Now it's a hate crime. Yeah.
He said, quote, the trouble we got into that night had nothing to do with the fact that the people who got into a fight with were gay.
It was during the punk rock days in Hollywood, and it was a violent time.
We weren't bashing gays.
We were just out to bash anyone who we came in contact with.
Probably.
I mean, probably.
But I think it's probably a little extra.
You know?
Yeah.
A little extra stank on it is all we're saying.
Not the beating, but the starting of it this is 81 82 yeah see that's a time when when that was a
very common thing to do just because somebody was gay oh god yeah i don't know that i believe
a word that's yep yep i don't know that's what i mean who the fuck knows what is what's true and
what's not yeah that's That was very popular back then.
Later on, he would say this.
Now, this is after his now he's religious bullshit later on.
He's got to go through some stuff.
He said, as far as how I view gay relationships and gay marriage, I'm 100% against them.
However, I do respect gay people.
I just tell them what the Bible says.
Thank you, Oral Roberts.
We appreciate your fucking piety.
This motherfucker, he jams anything he can intravenously and was fucking bloodstream.
And he's going to talk about you have a problem with sucking dick?
Bro, you know what I mean?
And you can't say I'm a hundred percent against it and
then say i respect them at the same time because that's those completely clash sir he's doing the
thing where he's like it's not me it's just the bible i'm just like okay you're not a person that
can think for yourself stupid just doing what jesus tells me james yeah now fuck now in a book
that came out called scarred for life this is a 2004 book available only in print
by the way uh much credit to our research uh research person allison for finding this book
in print and figuring it out she's got she's telling you good shit here chased it down after
yeah i'm telling you so david keith Keith David Hamm is the author of this book.
And this is Adam's description of the incident in this book, which is a totally different thing.
Solid title, by the way.
Scarred for Life?
Not bad. Scarred for Life.
That's not bad.
I feel like a lot of people have probably taken it, too.
Yeah.
So they talked about him mouthing off to a couple.
And they were walking hand in hand.
And apparently, Jay said quote again please
don't isolate it it's not me this is Jay fucking Adams quote fuck you you fucking homos is what he
said to them so he said quote I kicked the big white guy knocked him into the paper machines
and then the black guy squared off and I took my shirt off and I go,
Oh Jesus Christ.
I can't say any of this.
Oh,
don't say it.
He took it.
Hold on,
hold on,
hold on.
It's kind of funny.
Actually,
he took the shirt off to fight another man and,
and called him gay.
Right.
Who's the,
I have my clothes on here hold on a minute i gotta
oil up real quick and then i'm gonna kick your gay ass all over the street who's what you're the
most doing the most gay things right now when i get this tiara locked into my hair you are a dead
man mister like what are you talking about what kind of shit fucking unreal so he says um
i took my shirt off and i go come on n-word and whoa yeah and calls the the other guy the f-word
for gay there so come on n-word come on f-word i guess he's both in his mind so he called him
he should have combined them
into a one insult i think to have two separate sentences like that is really pretty fucking
dude get your shit together then then he said quote i'll kill you so he said come on so and
so so and so i'll kill you which how's he how's he free that would definitely get you some some
some federal time at this moment in the world.
He said both the words.
And I'll kill you.
He made the threat and somebody ended up dead.
How's he not in prison forever?
That's pretty funny.
I don't care if even if it was some straight white guy and he said, come on, Chad, I'll kill you.
And then he killed him.
Right.
Then he started a fight that killed him.
That's murder. Like you started a fight that killed him that's murder
like you started a murder like I'm sorry if I punch you and then someone comes up and shoots
you afterwards and we're in the same group I'm going to it's the same part of the same act
we've done how many murders have we covered Jimmy in small town murder and there's a lot that's part
of murder that's also I don't I can I can't think of any who stated their intent like that right out of the gate.
And why?
Yeah.
And why?
And you make that statement and they end up dead.
That's fucking prison forever.
Forever.
He then says, I said, so I said, I'll kill you.
And he socked me.
So the guy punched him.
Pow.
Knocked me down.
Then polar bear, Dennis Agnew, knocked him out.
Boom.
Then the white guy came back over and I ran and I jumped and kicked him in the mouth and
knocked him out.
So they were both on the ground, basically knocked out.
And I grabbed Dennis and we left.
A bunch of other guys started kicking the black guy with boots on and he died.
So they stomped the black guy. I don't know. I. Oh, my God. So they stomped the blood.
But I don't know.
I mean, Jesus, we just started the whole thing
and fucking put blood in the water and then left.
It's not like we're not responsible for sharks after that.
What are you talking about?
And this is California where Charlie Manson didn't even go.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
This is unbelievable.
The charges get dropped from murder to assault.
Wow.
Wow.
That's staggering.
That is remarkable.
This is in public, too.
People watch this shit like strangers.
There were street witnesses that saw this, man.
This is crazy.
So he's guilty.
He gets sentenced to, okay, I mean, that would help.
Pretty hefty sentence at least
you know somebody died this seat you sir may fuck off six months in jail i'm gonna be sick you've
gotta be kidding six months you might as well just not even do any you might as well just say
never mind and give him a pat on the fucking back and you know roll up roll him up a joint on the
way out like what the fuck are you doing not even urban meyer whispering in a judge's ear like
no that's i mean they doesn't even have a silver age middle a silver haired middle-aged white man
he doesn't have a a an entity like the nfl to get him out of trouble or vince mcmahon is it
gonna come down like super fly snook and talk to the cops for you this is one fucking idiot with his moron friends
six months unbelievable six fucking months in jail so yeah that's it that's it gets out of jail
not good um holy shit so um more from some interviews to try to lighten the mood a bit
here even though he's such an asshole great today too because that you too i hope that they've
grieved and have closure and have moved past it because i don't know that i could ever move no
that's it's fucking horrifying for no reason no it's for no reason that's the thing it's there's
no reason behind i would rather i would rather a serial killer killed my relative because at least
there's a fucking reason for that you know what i mean like my great-grandmother was murdered by a crackhead who was trying to get money for crack so that in my
mind makes sense a to b to c yeah i can get through that if it was just because she felt like it and
there was no other reason i'd go well why that's ridiculous so anyway for sure that's the definition
of one that's that that's the one that like is that you talk about if you'd say why you'd need one.
You go, well, what if two guys are walking down the street and a bunch of skinheads decide to kick them to fucking death and call them the N-word and gay slurs?
What about that?
You'd go, well, I mean, yeah, that's obviously a hate crime.
Obviously.
That seems aggravated as fuck.
Jesus Christ.
You could get Tucker Carlson to say that's a hate crime.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Tucker Carlson would throw his bow tie across the room and say come on man you're ruining it yeah yeah what are you doing don't say the quiet parts out loud jesus christ
sorry about that no i'm not if you if you If you like Tucker Carlson for anything more than comedic value of laughing at this moron.
Turn this the fuck off if you can't find the comedy in that.
Nobody likes him seriously and us at the same time, right?
Nobody.
Nobody.
I don't know where that Venn diagram crosses, but it's fucking weird.
We might lose 12 listeners because I think that's where it crosses with like 12 listeners.
Fucking riddance.
I don't know that's weird
not not concerned about that really uh yeah we're crazy enough keep your going crazy so they said
remember the flight to japan when you were drinking and partying uh schroeder was projectile vomiting
and craig johnson made up the japanese made the japanese stewardess cry. That sounds terrible.
That story sounds riveting.
What?
Wow.
Well, he explains it.
He says that flight me and Dave Hackett got hired to be judges in Japan.
Then we were like 30 skateboarders.
There are there were like 30 skateboarders on this flight.
Good God.
That's a nightmare.
Gross.
And we had the wrestling flight.
I think the flight from hell.
Yeah, I think so. More organized. And we had the wrestling flight. I think the flight from hell. Yeah, I think so.
More organized.
And we had big bottles of Bacardi.
Oh, God.
Skateboarders and rum.
This is not good.
We drank all the beer on the plane.
All the beer drank them out of beer.
I've heard of football teams doing that. But those guys weigh 300 pounds.
These are all 140 pound skinny kids drinking the plane out of beer.
Planes hold a lot of beer. They do. So he said, we drank all the beer on the plane. First of all,
it was Craig Johnson and Jeff Grosso. Fuck. It was the craziest flight I've ever been on.
At one point I had this ghetto blaster and we were playing it too loud on a plane. No,
you don't play a boom box on a plane. I think it was Craig Johnson was holding it up, and the stewardess was grabbing the thing,
and he's pulling it back like a tug-of-war.
We were playing it too loud, and we were drinking fifths of alcohol.
They wouldn't serve us any more beer.
I ended up sneaking up to the first class and having some girl order me beers.
It was just fucking nuts.
It was one of the craziest flights I'd ever been on and somebody made the stewardess cry ben schroeder drank too much and he was taking and he was talking and all
of a sudden he just threw up wow projectile doubt i don't think i helped any either so he's just in
the middle of talking just starts vomiting while he's say anything uh yeah some fucking suicidal tendencies on a 737 yeah i think so
i don't know what's going on there man standing in the back of the plane
what a scene i'd cry too if i'm a stewardess jesus how can i laugh tomorrow when i can't
even smile today jimmy that's more suicidal lyrics anyway so yeah it's that's a
fucking man then you land and they're gonna let you into their country now no right like get back
on the plane all of any anyone with vomit on their shirt back on the plane you're not coming in
sorry we've got a taste of what you're gonna do in this country if you'll do that on a plane
no shit you haven't even got here yet so they say tell us about your time in tokyo and he
says well i was staying with mofo in a hotel and we partied every night it all became a blur the
day of the contest i remember staying up all night the night before it was getting light so i drank
this tea shit to wake up and it gave me some kind of anxiety attack it's probably like some kind of
uppers in it that's why i thought it was an overload of caffeine because that is a horrible feeling.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
And if he's not used to waking up and doing that because he doesn't have to.
He said, I thought I was having a heart attack during the contest.
So I made the Japanese guys take me to the hospital.
Jesus.
That's embarrassing.
Yeah.
I'm having an overdose of what caffeine whatever that
t-shirt is that you gave me i thought i was going to die of a heart attack it was just an anxiety
attack i thought i was having a heart attack during the contest so i make the oh i'm sorry
again uh that was the first time it was just an anxiety attack or something where you can't breathe
properly that was the first time that ever happened to me.
I thought I was going to die in Japan.
I went all the way there and ended up going to the hospital.
I was raging every night.
So crazy life here.
Should be in prison, but crazy life.
1988, he moves to Hawaii.
So he's going to be done with California.
He's going to move to Hawaii.
He's going to go there. He also's going to move to Hawaii he's going to go
there um he also has I don't know when this happens but he has a couple of wives during this
time a girlfriend there's a kid or two that pops out there's a lot he's got a his first wife's name
is Alicia he had a daughter named Venice with her and this is a little bit later this is early 90s
Venice with her. And this is a little bit later. This is early 90s.
He also has an ex-girlfriend
named Samantha Baglioni
who he's got a son named Seven with.
Like George Costanza.
Like Costanza wanting to name it after
Mickey Mantle's number, Seven.
There's this whole Seinfeld episode about that.
Fighting over the name Seven.
So, yeah. Now,
and this was right around the time when the episode came out
too. So so really into
seinfeld i'm gonna say jay adams is just super in the side what year was it in the 80s this is 90s
this is mid 90s yeah this is like right around that time or is he a big brad pitt fan he might
just be a huge brad that was later though i think that was later a little bit 96 yeah in that area yeah yeah so he um here's some drug stories quote okay he was getting the suicidal
logo by the way this is he's talking about that suicidal tendencies logo if you look that up
you'll see it's very distinctive um he says quote i was getting suicidal tattooed on my stomach one
time drinking to drinking tequila um and halfway through the tattoo i guess i blacked
out supposedly probably not supposedly a bunch of sober people said you did this so let's believe
them supposedly i smashed the bottle on the ground and ran out of the parlor i woke up the next day
strapped to a hospital bed with an iv in my arm and a half-finished tattoo.
What a mess.
I tore off the IV, walked out of the hospital, and found my car right next to where I bought heroin.
That's good.
Since I hadn't done it in a couple weeks and I was drinking, I shot up at a friend's house and I OD'd.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, this is what happens whenever junkies quit for a while and then they get it and they try to do what they were doing before they quit because that's what they're used to.
They think, oh, that's what gets me high.
Then they die.
It's a you have to build your tolerance up for that shit.
So that's what he does.
It hurts for the amount of poison he put in his body that day.
It's fucking intense, man.
No shit.
body that day it's fucking intense man no shit uh the guy i used to share with just left me for like three or four hours lying there foaming at the mouth in his apartment oh my because otherwise
he would have got arrested a lot of people used to do that in those days when you'd get arrested
for your friend overdosing too that was a thing so they just leave them there they take them and
dump them in a dumpster your friend because they're like i'm not going to jail for it oh yeah
that girl on uh happened all the time lockup she shot somebody up and he died and she got manslaughter that's
what happens happens a lot um uh when i finally came to i was naked uh i guess the guy had tried
to drag me into the shower and took my clothes i ran out of the apartment and was running down
the street naked when the cops stopped me and brought me back to the hospital. Yeah.
He escaped from the hospital, shot up, OD'd, had all his clothes taken, and was caught out.
What a fucking day.
And was caught outside naked.
Came to?
His body processed the overdose?
He came to enough to walk?
Enough to run down the street, yeah, with a half tattoo and no clothes.
And the cops were like.
Hungover and overdosing.
He must belong in the hospital he
must let's hope he escaped from the hospital he's a menace to society himself and everybody else
then he said quote i was shooting cocaine one time that's always a great way to lead off a story
don't you do that all the time when you're talking to your friends you're like this one time i was shooting cocaine and then as a father of two as a i had this one friend who used to start a lot of stories with when i was a
wall from the navy it's like what what a weird way to start us so i'm a wall from the navy right and
i'm like who's a wall from the navy what fucking fucking, what are you doing? You crazy fuck.
Tell me some wild story.
So I was shooting cocaine one time and thought these monsters were outside my door.
Yeah.
There's no monsters, by the way.
All of a sudden, I dove out the window and ran to my friend's house, you know, to avoid the monsters at the door.
They're looking in.
They're not outside the window.
You dive out a window i was banging on the door at like three in the morning and his 70 year old mom answered the door
oh god perfect i was like they're after me call 9-1-1 oh my god she turns on the light
and i freaked out what are you doing they're gonna see the light we gotta do this in the dark he said i was like
fuck this she's in on the whole thing mom's my friend's mom has been working with these monsters
man i knew it they sends them to the door i jump out the window they come right here i'm gonna go
in this is the home base of all the monsters they're all gonna be in here now man that's what
it is turn on the light and get the beacon going
for the monsters.
Jesus Christ.
She's in on the whole thing.
I flipped out,
jumped off their two-story balcony
barefoot,
cell phone in hand,
and broke my foot on the landing.
If you want to fuck with drugs for real
and get good at it,
that's the kind of shit
you're going to be living.
No shit.
When you start stories with I was shooting cocaine one time that's how they end up it's not i'm not
surprised by that story he he let in with what's gonna crazy stuff's gonna be don't be shocked by
anything i was shooting cocaine and he's like giving a rookie symposium speech if you want to
get good at this that's what you got to put up with.
This is the kind of time and effort you're going to have to put into this game.
Because this game don't come easy.
You want to make the Hall of Fame?
There's a hundred people behind you just dying to take your spot.
They're going to take your place.
So you better work hard in the off season.
He said nobody is going to rescue you or help you until you want to help yourself.
No matter how fucking how many fucking little slogans you learn or meetings you go to, nothing is going to help until you're ready.
That's true, actually.
And nobody would know that better than this dipshit.
So 1990s here sometime.
I don't think it's 93, 94.
I don't think it's 93 94.
He is convicted in court for you ready for this terroristic threats during domestic violence.
That's not a good one.
That's not a good one at all.
That's making threats against property and life.
That's not good.
Bad stuff here.
He ends up getting probation for that.
What?
Okay.
It's one thing if he's never done it.
I don't know.
He's got he killed the guy, man. Like you can't, you got to take his words of terroristic threats.
Yeah.
Dead ass serious.
When he says, I'll kill you.
What he does.
People end up dead.
I'll kill you.
That's dead.
So it's, yeah, he gets probation and this is when his life, by the way, his life's going
pretty well at this point for Jay.
This is when it really falls apart coming up here.
This is bad stuff.
In 1996, over the course of 1996, his dad died of cancer.
Uh-oh.
His brother got murdered by men beating him with baseball bats over a failed cocaine deal for, I think, $60,000 maybe.
We'll talk about it.
for, I think, $60,000 maybe.
We'll talk about it.
So his mother separated from his stepdad.
Then she died of the same cancer that he had.
Oh, shit.
His grandmother died.
He broke up with the mother of seven,
who he was with right now.
And also, he had a new girlfriend. he's trying to put his life back together he said he caught her cheating on him with someone he knew and um yeah um so
there you go everything fell apart yes that was the terroristic threats during domestic violence
too because he freaked out on her and fucking whatever so he has a crazy
fucking year and he's given uh like i said he's given probation and after all this he starts using
heroin again he's like you know what i gotta dip back into it it's a good time to try it i mean
who gives a shit at this point no shit um so said, though, he was going to be done with drugs.
He went down and now he's back up.
He's done with drugs.
He said, I just kind of put it back on the shelf and never really dealt with it.
Talking about his whole the deaths of his people there.
I'm hoping one of the main reasons I did drugs was to kill the pain of thinking about grief issues since 1975.
Jay, just get high and everything's all right
since i went to this little rehab thing they kind of brought that shit out shit that i never really
dealt with like my brother got murdered and my dad died and then my grandma died and then my mom died
and then it was all in like a one year period of time then i had a girlfriend that i really loved
and i caught her in bed with another guy. That one. Yeah.
That one hurt more actually than the other things.
Wow.
That's a really disturbing.
That's really disturbing that his brain makes that hurt more than his mother died.
No, I get it.
I certainly know because it's because mom dying just affects you.
But seeing that happen right in front of your face it's not over you know like yeah there's still
life that goes on i feel like there's a that's a personality there's no closure to that there's
some personality fluff that's worse to you yeah it's a mental defect yeah that's what i mean i
don't think that's good mental health is to be a matter about that the matter about i'm not saying
it's healthy mother father and mother father brother grandma
dying and you're like the worst part was my chick fuck somebody not even his wife just some chick
he's hanging out with some girlfriend like that's mentally disturbed in my book you have some issues
but that act it's also somebody that he knows so that ruins two more relationships in one act and
that fucks everything yeah but there's four people dead.
So that's still four to two.
I don't get it.
Both.
I get it.
But they get to go on with their life with the hurt that they just caused me and that's
fucked.
That's true.
He said, my brother was really a surprise.
And it was-
I can see why.
Yeah.
No shit.
And it was really dramatic and just fucked.
A fucked thing to deal with.
Some people killing your brother for $60,000 and a kilo of cocaine.
It really sucked.
I really didn't know my dad, but it sucked to me that he took his own life with pills.
Oh, shit.
My mom, it was pretty gnarly dealing with her.
Pretty gnarly?
Well, she was, he had to watch her die what the fuck this is
the weirdest okay my mom it was pretty gnarly dealing with her she was a really good friend
of mine and i really miss my mom a lot she's not a really she's your mom he said that like he knew
the newer in high school yeah she's a really good friend of mine man it's a shame she's gone
it's your mom what are you talking about he's fucked man his head is so
ruined his brain happened does not work i miss my brother too but my mom was my good friend i used
to tell her everything and people go my mom was my best friend that's different than saying she
was a real good friend of mine that's just a weird thing to say it's just so weird um and to watch her
in six months or eight months wither down and die and have to change her
diapers and carry her to the toilet i was i was relieved when she died i was prepared for her
death and i was thankful when it came because of the suffering she was going through i'm kind of
hoping that was the main cause of me doing drugs i have a highly addictive personality to uh whatever
i do i used to think i was doomed because the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree.
But my mom, my dad and my brother all had like 15 or 20 years clean from doing drugs.
My brother had 21.
And what the fuck was he doing with cocaine?
What the hell was going on there?
I don't know.
And my mother had like 25 or 30 years before she died.
Maybe I can follow in their footsteps and be a guy who's done a lot of drugs and then
stop doing drugs and be an example for other people.
Hopefully I can stop some other people from getting involved in shooting drugs or whatever by letting them know just what happened to me.
Hard drugs are no fucking joke.
They will take you down big time.
I don't care who you are.
Clearly, I'm starting to think that Southern California reckless lifestyle is no good for your health.
Doesn't seem healthy, right?
Real fun to you're like 23 and then it just you're fucked after that and these people lived it into their 40s that's
dangerous and you can add being in the sun all the time to that too so you're just haggard
my uh he was asked in 2000 what's the best fight you've ever been in he better not say the one
where we killed a guy i hope i'm so. He said the best fight is like the fight against the addiction of heroin.
Okay.
That's a gnarly fight because I let the shit take me over for a while and it became the main thing I wanted to do.
It's a fight to not want to do it.
Okay.
That's a real fight to try and stay sober.
As far as beating people up and shit, there's nothing cool about that.
I used to think it was cool to go to a party and have people fear me and just be a crazy guy and usually that was alcohol induced or drugs and shit it's not cool to go and ruin people's
nights and try to make them bleed maybe i'm older now or something maybe but he's clean and sober at
least he's saying uh perfect time for him to be arrested for narcotics possession.
And this is in Hawaii, and it's heroin.
And apparently they don't fuck around with heroin in Hawaii.
I'm sure they don't, because you're importing that into our beach community.
And our tourism thrives here.
I don't know.
And he is found guilty, and he receives, you, sir, may fuck off two and a half years in prison.
More than for killing a man.
That's wild.
More than threatening whatever he said to his girlfriend.
It's crazy, man.
What?
That's fucking nuts, right?
I mean, he's, so now he's sitting in a Hawaiian jail cell, which I don't know if that's nice or not.
I mean, it's still Hawaii, but.
Probably still got a beach view i figure i picture it totally open like all the houses where all the walls
totally like open so it's outside there's just bars but it's all the breeze you know the breeze
can blow through you know it's all open comes in the entry of it yeah that's what i figure
everyone come here and get your coconut drink here and And there's a little, I didn't get my umbrella. Okay, hold on.
There you go.
Here's your pineapple and spam.
That's what I'm thinking in my head.
I don't know what's up.
Everybody, put your hands out.
We're going to put a bit of this pig from the luau into it.
The only thing that's terrible about the Hawaiian prison is, I don't know if it's because it's an island, it's hard to do, but the plumbing is terrible in there, Jimmy.
It's just awful.
Sand, man.
And all that sand getting in and all that poi in your system, it's clogging it up.
I don't know.
But the jail sends over someone to help out, and it's Paul Calhoun, shit pipe enthusiast.
And he says.
How is it you come to arrive here?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I'm what?
Jesus fucking crime.
Looking around.
Yeah, never mind your shit pipe.
They're clogged.
Believe me, pal.
Your shit pipes are as clogged as your veins.
You can't shoot shit into your fucking veins and expect that not to do nothing.
Plus, what happens is you do all these opiates, you get all blocked up, and you shoot out a shit the size of Montana, and it don't go down the drain, and now I got to fucking come
over here, you jerk off.
It's like concrete.
I'd clean your shit pipe, smack your wife, like my saying goes, but she's been true enough
with you, I think.
You're a fucking asshole. Seriously. What kind of what kind of an what are you stomping people on the
streets you think you're some kind of a fucking tough guy I ought to take this plunger and whack
you upside the fucking head with it you jerk off but they told me not to beat the prisoners you
know it's a some kind of regulation I guess I don't know but I'm gonna do this I'll take care
of this I'm gonna plunge you out that way you can not take shits anymore because you're all constipated or whatever and uh spamming poi to you and poof in a in a uh in a
pail of shit and pipes he's gone and jay is very confused and thinking he's having some kind of
heroin flashback cocaine shooting acid weird induced thing here so flashbacks are great flashbacks yeah free free drugs so
in hawaiian prison serving two and a half years on drug charges during this the uh the the uh
dog town and z boys is released yeah so he becomes like famous it brings him back into the limelight
where everyone goes wow because in that documentary they talk about him like he was such an innovator.
And he's barely in it as a new like the newer ones because he just got out.
And it was like so he's like this mysterious figure.
So everybody's real interested in Jay Adams at that point.
And it's not, you know, this is to even 2002 is pre quick Google search on your phone days where you go, oh, God, he stomped a dude to death.
That's fucked up.
Right.
You didn't know that.
I had like a Qualcomm T-Mobile phone with like T-Zones was the internet.
There was no internet on your phone.
No.
This is back in the day where you were literally like, you can take pictures with phones now.
Did you hear that?
There's one where you can take like a pretty, it's not bad.
Pretty decent picture.
Yeah, that way when someone calls you, their picture will be right there.
It really looks like them.
Yep, so this isn't an easy one.
He starts getting a bunch of endorsements again.
He gets out, Hurley endorses him, and Osiris Shoes, all these fucking tracker trucks even comes back.
I thought they were done, but they're not because they still they're still available to buy for Christ's sake.
So, I mean, he's he's back, babe.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, he's back.
He's a star.
He says, tell it.
They say, ask him, tell us any part of your present day life that you'd like to share with all of us.
And this was when he was in prison.
And he said, well, currently I'm locked up for making some bad decisions.
I'm glad I had to come to prison
because I wasn't living my life correctly.
I didn't give a shit about life
or anything else for that matter.
Coming here has helped me to realize
there's a lot more to life than getting loaded every day.
I'm lucky because God has given me another chance
to live properly again.
I should be, yeah, he's finding God.
We know how that goes in this show.
That's not good. He's getting married when things are going wrong. He's finding God.
This is bad stuff. I should be back on the streets sometime later this year. Is that a threat?
Fuck. I'm looking forward to being a father to my son again and just being able to enjoy life again.
No matter how far you've gone, you've let drugs take you. No matter how far gone you've let drugs take you.
It's never too late to stop and change your life around for the better.
I know because I'm a living example.
Surfing and skateboarding are just a small part of our lives.
Drugs take you down.
So watch out if they get their claws into you.
Stay strong.
Thank you,
Mike Brady.
Thank you.
Jesus.
Really?
That was the fucking.
Now, Bobby, we need to have a talk.
No matter how far drugs get you gone, there you are.
There you are.
So, yeah, I guess during this time, too, in the 2000s, skating becomes a different thing.
When I was skating as a kid in the 90 90s it was like people would if they heard
skateboards they'd run out like god he's not gonna stop and fucking skate in front of my plane people
would yell at you you weren't allowed to be anywhere cops were constantly breaking your
fucking balls like it was a it was a pain in the goddamn ass to to deal with that nowadays
cops see kids skating how many fucking videos have you seen where cops stay on skateboard he
comes out and does better tricks than them in his fucking uniform, and you're like, what the fuck is that shit?
What is that?
I had to fucking climb walls and run from these assholes when I was fucking 14.
What is happening?
Fuck you, you little shits.
I mean, that's how it should have been to begin with, but I'm like, you little bastards, why do you get that?
Mid to late 90s, like, you could be riding your skateboard to work and the cops would be like
pick that up and walk with it what yeah why would i do that it's literally transportation
do you tell somebody it's on your bicycle up what are you talking about carry that thing
push that car sir what this from this era there's a los Los Angeles Times story about a school district police officer that was there named David Anthony, who enthusiastically supported after school skating at the middle school that he was at.
He said, it's going to turn this site around because this right here is a hard hit area.
What makes outlaws out of them?
Skating is the thing.
The kids aren't going
to stop so he's like let's build them a place to skate and then they can come here you know where
the fuck they are they're fine they're not fucking with anything so um remember in police academy
when david spade was a skater yeah it's all they did was like go into parking structures and like
skate down the ramp like why is that illegal it's ridiculous oh you son of a bitches and it was like Mike McGill and then it would
change to David Spade
I'd pay money to watch David Spade
try to ride a skateboard only because he'd
fall and hurt himself and I would crack up here
and he'd go ow
he was actually a pretty
decent skateboarder when he lived in
Phoenix because he worked at a skate shop where Tempe Improv is now.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
So when he went to L.A., that's what his thing was, was skateboarding.
But it wasn't tricks and stuff.
It was like standing on one foot, rubbing your belly fat in your head.
It was that shit.
Slanging dick and popping tricks.
The David Spade story.
dick and popping tricks the david spade story so he says that people i'll give you a whole thing here he says quote as far as i'm concerned the professional part of skating ruined it people
got too serious and lost most of the fun it started out with it became a joke to me everybody
ripped me off taking advantage of my name at the time. The best part I remember about skating was when I was a kid. My stepfather would take me down to the lumber
yard. We'd pick out a piece of solid oak wood, cut it out, and drill all the holes. That was the
hardest part for me because if you misdrilled, the board wouldn't turn right. For me, that was
the soul of skateboarding, making your own board. Nowadays, getting a skateboard is like ordering a
Big Mac.
They're all the same.
I mean, they're all different shapes and sizes, but nobody puts their heart into making it anymore.
No, because you need the layered shit.
That's the way you don't get a solid piece of wood.
That's not how it works.
Seven different layers of board.
Yeah, it's weird.
So 2005, he's clean and sober, talking to kids about drugs or letting him around children.
He's good now.
Period.
He's good now.
2005, good now.
Out of prison, cleaned up.
And he said, once you become, this is what he's telling the kids, once you become a professional skateboarder, you get all these people coming up and offering you drugs.
It's real easy to get caught up in.
I mean, I'd wake up every morning and tell myself,
what the fuck am I going to do today to get high?
I'd have to get loaded before I could even leave my house.
I could not enjoy myself if I was not high.
There's a mental addiction, but it was physical too
because I was shooting heroin for a couple years.
Yeah, your physical's worse than your mental
if you're shooting heroin.
That's a different story.
Once you're shooting something, you're in a whole other category.
It's a problem.
The craving you get for crack is also really fucking strong.
See the 1980s.
Like, what the fuck?
It all depends on how far you take it.
There's a huge difference between somebody smoking heroin or having a few beers after work.
Don't put those in the same sentence.
He just said casually.
I mean, if you're just like smoking heroin, having a beer or two, like those are very different.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Different people, let alone different addictions.
Hey, what are you doing after work?
You're going to come over.
Yeah, come over.
Have a couple of beers.
We'll smoke a little heroin.
It'll be cool, man.
Like not casual.
Head on down to Froggies and see if they got a two for one on either heroin or Bud Light.
One of the two.
I don't care.
But I'd like to have both.
He said, so there's a huge difference between smoking heroin or having a few beers after work to the guy pounding a fucking fifth of tequila or shooting heroin on a daily basis.
There are some functioning addicts out there.
I'm not one of them.
There are some functioning addicts out there. I'm not one of them, but I'm not going to lie and tell you and tell kids, hey, if you smoke one joint or drink a beer, you're going down, buddy. It ain't like that. But the potential for doom is definitely there. Being a functioning drug addict is like winning the lottery. It happens, but it probably ain't going to happen to you. So why chance it? Don't tell kids there's a possibility you can do it. Well, you can kids listen it's gonna ruin your life once in a while someone's just gonna have a great fucking life they're gonna do drugs feel great it's not gonna fuck their life up and they're gonna skate
through have hot women probably a lot of money their kids will be successful they'll live in a
big house but that's not gonna be you that's one in a million kids okay so you can't tell kids that
that's like telling a kid who's playing high school basketball. You're not going to make the NBA.
It's not going to make him stop playing basketball to make him train harder.
The fuck are you talking about?
You'll either be Nikki Sixx or Amy Winehouse.
Yeah.
Take your fucking pick.
That's a crazy thing to say.
It's like winning the lottery.
Becoming a functioning drug addict is like winning the lottery.
That's a sentence that that man said.
Not not in another sentence. That's a sentence that that man said.
Not in another sentence.
That's start to finish, period.
Fucking being a functioning drug addict is like winning the lottery.
Okay.
Sounds great.
Sounds great, Jay.
You're batting 1,000.
You know what?
Fuck it.
Good job, Jay.
Thumbs up at this point.
He's a mess.
You've done it.
June 3, 2005, Dogtown, the Lords of of dog town comes out that's a big deal emile hirsch plays him so he's got a star oh he played
he's played by that guy yeah yeah so i mean it's a big movie it's a big fucking movie from uh from
alpha dog he was the bad guy in alpha dog there you go and he's uh he's jay adams as well he said
that he was getting fresh sponsorship deals right then he said i was doing pretty well then i fell
back into my old habits it snowballed into a complete relapse i was fooling everybody well
not everybody definitely not fooling the cops because in november 2005 he's caught on a wire tap acting as a go-between for crystal for meth he's got a
huge meth deal um from california to hawaii so to import to hawaii he's caught on the wire yeah
not good not good at all they tend to uh he's arrested when the police raid his apartment
where he's sitting there with his pregnant wife.
Jesus.
Arrested by federal agents at his home on the north shore of Oahu.
He was on.
By the way, I don't know when it happened, so I couldn't put it in there.
Sometime in here, he had burglary charges that he was on probation from.
Also, that's that's way worse.
Bad stuff.
So he's they charge him with being the middle man on a huge drug deal between california and hawaii in the summer of 2004 um so yeah uh they get him in jail
he's sitting there and um he says quote the other guys involved in the drug deal got arrested about
nine months before me so i kind of knew that it might happen, but I got myself clean. I married my wife and I started going to church and my whole life has turned around again.
It was good. It's weird because the day I got arrested, I told my wife, you know,
I never really do anything anymore than I could get arrested for. I probably won't ever get
arrested again. But that thing that happened before, uh, but that thing that happened before
we met could come back
and bite me and it did later that day when the fed showed up at my house later that day later that
day that had a real minutes later that had a real lenny dykstra turn to it that for the whole thing
right because you know i never really do anything i can get arrested for anymore i probably won't
ever get arrested ever again it's like there's something around the corner for both Jay and Lenny, I think. So he said,
being away from my wife and my new baby, that's hard. I've seen my baby through a window,
but I haven't got to pick her up or smell her or make eye contact. Another thing that's hard
to deal with is the time I'm doing now is that the time I'm doing now, I'm not sure what the
final outcome will be until i'm sentenced
so um yeah he wants you to feel bad for him his life was going great now it's all fucked up again
and uh you know i mean i feel bad for his wife who's pregnant house gets raided now she's got
a baby alone taking it to show him through a fucking you know how hard it is to get into a
prison with a baby it's a huge pain in the ass on visiting day paper off all that i mean i feel bad for these people jimmy i really do but not nearly no as bad as i feel for jay
adams director of information and security at tallahassee memorial health care i don't think
so security um jay adams cfo at thrive in walpole, Massachusetts. He went for Thrive?
He's thriving.
Jay Adams, manager at 56 Kitchen in Canton, Ohio.
Jay Adams, software engineer at Pinterest in San Carlos, California.
And finally, Jay Adams, I don't know what the fuck this means.
Adams. I don't know what the fuck this means. Continuous intelligence, economic machine data analytics platform purpose built for everyone. What the fuck does that mean? Sounds like coding. I don't know. He's in Los Angeles area, though, and he's Jay Adams. trafficking heroin i guess and uh as he's awaiting sentences
sentencing he says just spends most of his time reading the bible and listening to christian radio
you know just putting it on and drawing i'm sure jesus-y stuff and just being in here growing
jesus on a unicorn flying through the nebraska cornfields, shaking hands with Oral Roberts. On a lager.
On a lager.
He also gets fan mail, he responds to.
He says he tells fans,
quote, I have nobody to blame but myself,
that I've made mistakes
and there are things I wouldn't want anybody else to copy.
I'm not trying to influence people in a negative way.
I know my motives are right
when I write kids and tell them not to do drugs.
He said you have to learn from your mistakes.
Even if you get away with something, it can come back and bite you down the line.
So it's better off just to not do them in the first place.
For some of us, it takes a little longer to learn that, you know, you know, like 45 years or so.
He said the crime happened in 2004.
I was on parole.
I had a relapse.
I was getting high and having bad judgment.
That's all.
But when I first met Alicia, I was getting off that drug addiction and she stood behind me.
She was a big help and I got myself clean, got married, started going to church.
My whole life turned around.
But the past came back to haunt me in the form of federal drug agents.
Yeah.
Being my wife, being away from my wife and new baby, that's hard.
Another thing that's hard to deal with is the time I'm doing right now.
I don't know what the final outcome will be.
Well, let's find out.
He is finally sentenced.
You, sir, may fuck off four years in federal prison for you.
Unbelievable.
So stomp a guy to death six months,
get caught with some drugs two and a half years, make a phone call that facilitates drugs four years.
All of that.
He's done.
He has been in possession of drugs.
He's been selling drugs.
He's burgled.
He's murdered.
He's a full house.
He's done everything.
It's a full house.
Threatened to hurt uh your girlfriend
six seven years combined he puts his cards on the table and he goes to the king
it's a fucking royal flush to the king unbelievable so uh july 8th he's released
from prison july 2008 so he stays about three years they make him do july 8th he's released to a
halfway house and he's transferred to from a federal prison in oregon to a halfway house in
garden grove california where he has to serve the final role months of his sentence uh he said he
likes the increased freedom but he's strictly supervised he said they like to keep tabs on
you and know where you are at all times yeah because you're in custody right dipshit that's why um yeah he said uh uh if he breaks
the law again he says he's gonna really be fucked and get locked up for a long time he said my good
luck chances with judges are through i can't make those mistakes anymore my my nine lives were up a
long time ago god's got different ideas for me than what I've been doing in the past.
Gross.
God.
So he marries another woman.
Not even Alicia?
No, no, no.
That's his ex.
Okay.
So in 2011, he marries a woman named Tracy.
So totally different fucking woman here.
They are living in San Clemente, California.
He is an active member at the local church.
He spent also working.
He spends it right from an article since emerging from prison.
Adams has spent most of his time at an indoor skate park at the headquarters of the surf apparel maker Hurley in Costa Mesa.
Wow.
Work for us, murderer.
That was where he was on.
That's where he was on Tuesday morning, sitting on a skateboard in the middle of the cavernous space.
Tattoos scrawled across his face and outstretched arms and legs.
His face is tattooed?
Oh, he's got shit all over him.
Yeah, his face is all fucking tattooed.
He works there as the...
What do you think?
This guy makes good decisions?
Great point.
Anything that's like, this will be cool now and terrible later, that's what he what he does yeah that's it uh he works there as the facilities manager hot shit keeping the park
clean and making sure the skaters have signed liability waivers so he went from the janitor
he went from fuck you bro ain't wearing no fucking wrist guards to did you say come back here kiddo
just sign your wave get you gotta sign the liability waiver now there's insurance at stake
here and i'm
not gonna i'm not gonna be the one smiting with state farm mister so you get back here and sign
this or i will imagine can you imagine a guy with tattoos on his face tells you to put wrist guards
on yeah man fuck you you got a hepatitis guard motherfuckers shut up you flea looking bastard leave me alone he became everything he hates that's what i mean it's everything as a condition of release a job
the job requires him to wake at 5 a.m followed by an hour and a half bus ride to begin work at
8 a.m he's back at the halfway house and in bed by 9.
Some nights he attends drug or alcohol treatment.
The simple schedule is designed to help Adams, a recovering drug addict, readjust to civilian life.
This is Peter Townsend, who is a former surfing champion and had a killer live album in 77, brother.
Not the same guy, said he's the surfer
guy he said we've got to make sure he gets on the bus and gets to work on time if he gets too much
too soon he'll go off the tracks again so his his wife and two-year-old there are in alabama at that
time they said they're waiting for adams to demonstrate that he can control his addictions before they come back.
Seven, by the way, I was total seven was 14 years old at this time.
So seven was born pre the movie and the show.
So I don't know.
He is original with that whole thing.
Now, he he said his faith in God and the routine of work is going to help him remain drug free. He said, my ideal future would be to be with my wife and family and to be somewhere
where I'm helping young kids not to make the mistakes I've made.
And I'm going to get back into surfing and skating as well.
So a friend of his agrees.
A friend of his says when he doesn't have a routine, old ghosts return.
That's Peter Townsend again.
He said if people pay him to be Jay Adams, he'll just get in trouble again.
That's a fact.
Yeah, he's got to feel like he's just a cog and doing his thing or else he's going to be a mess.
Also, Egg Blom here, who's the Santa Monica Airlines skateboard owner, he says that he describes a pattern of self-destruction and hopes it will end.
He said it's like get something going, be on the verge of big success and
then crash and burn.
That's his whole career, his whole life.
2012, he's inducted into, I didn't even know this was a thing that existed.
The skateboarding hall of fame.
That's ridiculous.
Wow.
Okay.
I mean, so there's like Tony Hawk is your Grand Marshal, and then who else?
There's a lot of great skaters.
I'm just saying it's pretty fun.
I'm saying this because as someone who's skated a lot, it's anti-skater to have a Hall of Fame.
You know what I'm saying?
A Hall of Fame is in people's brains and on boards that they remake and people keep using. The whole point of skating is to be against all of that shit.
That's what I mean.
To have an organization like that isn't what you're trying to do here.
To have actual dividers and paperwork.
That's stupid.
Now it just has to be monetized.
It's lame, man.
It's not gnarly at all, bro.
Not gnarly.
It's kind of forward thinking of him and foreshadowing of him to name his child after the amount of prison time he spent.
He knew.
He knew.
He knew it was coming.
Really clairvoyant.
He really is.
My God.
So January 2014, he finally completes his probation slash parole.
He's a free man.
January 2014.
After all these years, he's finally not on some form of, you know, we will put you in prison if you fuck up.
This is the first time since the 90s he's been like that.
50 years old.
Yeah.
And then August 15, 2014, eight months later, he dies of a heart attack.
There you go that's what happened that is
incredible that is wild he couldn't handle the freedom man um yeah emile hirsch has played two
giant pieces of shit in biopics yeah he's good at it that's his thing so they was told one of his friends said his wife
called us over in the middle of the night and we administered cpr until we could get an ambulance
and they kept working on him the whole way but he was never revived the important thing is
he went out peacefully in his sleep during the best surf trip of his life oh isn't that nice
he'd he'd been down here for three months surfing every day and he
was in great shape and in really good spirits.
I've never seen him so happy and
content and at peace. Well, now you have
because he's dead. That's what people look like when they're dead.
Also, that's not fair, but whatever.
Yeah. The memorial service
was held for him at
Venice Beach on August 30th, 2014.
Surfers and skaters
from all over the country came and they showed their respect by taking part in a, quote, traditional Hawaiian style paddle out tribute to him.
And a memorial skate session was held for Adams at the Venice Venice Beach Skate Park by Tony Alva and Christian Hesoi, who's another one of our alumni.
Christian Hesoi.
They said the day was a solemn
thrashing no they didn't say that so can't get enough of jay adams i mean we've all i think the
world's had an ass full of jay adams i think but you can get jay adams boards still they make the
boards shirts all kinds there's all sorts of jay adams merch out there you can get all sorts of
crap or if you want to know kind of if you want to see him as a kid and kind of see what how this
came about watch dog town and z boys there's footage of him as a kid and there's they talk
about him a lot there's a big part of that stuff so that everybody is uh jay adams professional
skateboarder and uh fucking lunatic asshole professional
asshole and a lunatic well we're professional assholes he's a professional scumbag yeah he's
a jerk off he's a bit of a dick he's a he's a kid that when you were 14 would think was really cool
and then by the time you were 20 would be like dude get your life together you know what i mean he's that perpetually get a job
he's that perpetually cool to like 14 year olds type of thing yeah before you even realized
anything so yikes it's a tough life for a man a very tough tough life that he made way harder
just way fucking harder on himself there's a way to like to parlay being cool and being a
hip guy into being a cool hip dad and to being yeah you can be cool yeah you can parlay that
through your whole life to be fun yeah my daughter thinks i'm i'm cool she fucking brags my dad has
a fucking podcast that a lot of people listen to that's pretty cool i don't i don't have to
fucking start my stories with so i was shooting cocaine this one time.
You know, pretty neat.
I go out and don't have to wear a fucking eyes-odd polo shirt.
I can wear a T-shirt and jeans and be fun with my kids.
You don't have to be.
You can still be the guy that your kids are like,
oh, my dad's not that.
No.
No.
No.
God, no. Tiger not that. No. No. No. God, no.
Tiger Woods pants.
Jesus.
Tiger Woods pants driving a Buick.
No.
No.
He's still fun.
He drives a four wheeler.
Is it Buick or Oldsmobile that Oldsmobile Tiger Woods was for, right?
No, Buick.
You nailed it.
Same fucking car.
Who cares?
That said, everybody, before we get to our closing and shout outs i think it's time
finally oh wait let me straighten my tie there we go i do like how this year you went with a spot
of color just on the just on the the pocket square i like that you did pocket scores i'm
proud of this i like that i'll be honest with you the cummerbund's nice i prefer a more of a vest
guy than a cummerbund guy just because i'm tall. You don't want to segment me even more.
I look even taller.
I got all this belly in, though.
It looks better like this.
Oh, see, there you go.
You can do the vest.
Yeah, fat guys in vests.
Not that you're fat, but if you're a fat guy in a vest, it looks weird.
It's like he's bursting from it.
No, but the cummerbund hides the beer belly, and I can drink while wearing it.
A fat guy in a vest, it looks like he popped the arms off of it with his fat.
It looks like the thing was a normal size. He up 100 pounds and the arms popped off from not being
able to take the strain so we're dressed up the pageantry everything is here our panel of judges
have been consulted which is of course myself and frankie and benny my two dogs at three o'clock in the
morning if there's three people so someone's gonna win the votes are you know we're gonna split two
to one eventually so we got a tiebreaker that said oh we get to put our cool music in here it's time
everyone for the 2022 scummy awards just it's it's a day it's it's sprinkled with fairy dust and pixie
whatever and magic and it's just amazing it makes us all feel warm and fuzzy it's been a lot we got the
lighting package together the band is queued up and everything uh golden dicks have been pressed
golden dicks pressed we told the band that uh acceptance speeches not too long play them off
play them off keep them we're gonna keep this show rolling so let's get it on with and first are a couple of ceremonial awards uh they're
not really a competition but more of a ceremonial award for what you've accomplished in this
particular sports crime season james let's do it the first is the but not nearly as badass award
yeah this is the word for most unlikely other person having your name and uh this poor
bastard who is on page four of a google search for himself because someone very much more famous
has taken their name yeah it's very difficult to be this much more famous for doing horrible things
oh absolutely yeah that's the day yeah oh shit and they look you up
and they if someone when they look you up has to scroll past the third page and only seeing bad
things they're just not going to bother they're going to assume that you're that person and say
fuck you that's the way it works you are not hired this year very exciting for the first time we have
a tie it's a tie yeah it is a tie between it's a three-way tie between three men we have a tie. It's a tie. Yeah? It is a tie between, it's a three-way tie between three men.
Oh, three.
He's picked somebody different.
Two people, or two different names, three different men.
First, we have Yuri Bulba, the Managing Marketing Specialist KFC, I guess, in Prague.
Marketing specialist KFC, I guess, in Prague.
So I don't know if there's Kentucky Fried Chicken in Prague. And Yuri Bulba, CEO of V Spalen Kanasty Image CZ, also in Prague.
And it's a tie with Jos Verstappen, senior software designer at ICT in Eidenhoven newton brobbernt netherland
that's what it says on his thing he uh went to thermo fisher scientific school
and he does some science shit there you go so or does bad things or does bad things now for our
next ceremonial award we are going to uh we're going to do a winner and then the runner-up.
Because there's two contenders.
One person's clearly the winner.
And then there's another person that I feel like has done enough this year that they deserve a mention in the awards.
At least just a mention.
Some recognition.
Some honor, really.
We need to sprinkle some honor upon them.
So this is the Golden Gilretha Award.
Oh, my favorite.
This is, of course, an award for the woman most propping up a man.
This is named after Gilretha, Carlton Dotson's mom, who went to great lengths to say that her son did not behead a man and kill him and bury him in the woods in the desert in fucking Texas.
In Texas?
Baylor.
This year,
usually it's a wife.
A lot of times we've had our winners have been a Shana Mayfield in the past.
Jeremy Mayfield's wife and wives have come real strong in this one.
In this one though,
it's a blowout.
It's a sweep for Eileen Fryer,
Irving Fryer's mom.
Not only does she have her son's back when he commits other crimes, cocaine, things like that, any crime, but she actually participated in and was busted in his largest scale crime of all.
A financial fraud where she ended up losing her house and everything that she owned to while Irving went on.
The two of them decided to get some scamming going.
That, my friends.
She put her house up for
collateral or something on several loans,
right? Yes, the same house for
several different loans. I didn't say
she was doing that. Not allowed
to do that.
That way they can try to
start a business with
loan fraud. It doesn't get
more Golden Gilretha than that.
Eileen, enjoy your award because it's well-earned.
Runner-up, though.
There is a runner-up to this one this year.
And any other year, she might have taken the crown, but you can't beat Eileen.
Judy Bagwell, Marcus Buff Bagwell's mom.
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
Not only participated in wrestling, actually called in to work at a professional wrestling organization sick for Marcus like he's in fourth grade.
Argued with wrestlers about how good Marcus was like really embarrassing shit.
Like she's a she's a mess.
Any other year she's taken his balls for him and shaved his balls for him.
Shaving a man's balls for him will get you the Golden Gilretha Award as a mom.
Especially if it's your son.
Yeah.
Well, that's why I had to mention her, because really any other year she wins it in a landslide.
It's all Judy Bagwell, but you can't beat someone actually committing crime with their son.
I'm sorry.
If she shaved his balls while he did horrible things, then that's it.
That would have been amazing.
Yeah.
So the next up, one of my favorites here, and there is a new award this year as well.
I should have had one or two new awards every year just to spice it up a bit.
We should do an in memoriam one year.
We should actually.
Bells ringing.
Ding, ding, like at wrestling.
This is the Skip Bayless Award for the biggest liar in all of sports.
In all of sports crime.
Skip Bayless Award.
Very prestigious.
It means you are the biggest piece of shit of that calendar year.
It's a lot.
It says a lot.
It really does.
It's not taken lightly by the panel.
I told Frankie and Benny this is a big one, guys.
Buckle the fuck up.
Spread this information.
You're a fraud.
You're a fraud. You're a fraud.
First up, Rosie Ruiz.
Yeah.
If you remember her, the pretended to win the New York Marathon.
That's a big deal.
Just ran in and was like, boy, am I tired, boy.
I just ran 26 miles.
I'm tired.
Lied about it.
26 feet.
26.
Yeah, no, that's about what she did. She was like hanging out in a bar in the middle about it. 26 feet. 26. Yeah, no, that's about what she did.
She was like hanging out in a bar in the middle of it, then committed more fraud based on
pretending to have another different identity than that.
Even then, the most honest thing this person did was actually sell cocaine.
The cocaine was actually cocaine as part of an all woman cocaine ring.
So that's a close one.
That's going to be hard to beat.
Pretty good.
Next up is Charles Wolsman Sr.,
who, the race car driver,
he lied about where his money came from
in order to have a racing team.
He used a flower shop as a front for a cocaine ring
to then use that to parlay into racing.
So he lied, like, on three layers.
He did meta-lying, like, a multi-lay into racing. So he lied like on three layers. He's he did metal lying like a multi-layered lie.
And finally,
Julio Lugo,
this guy just pissed me off,
man.
I really was mad at this asshole.
He beats his wife at his fucking job,
right?
At his job,
his wife like leaves,
pulls off the side of the road,
all this bullshit.
Then he denies the obvious with a straight face.
Then they get her to lie about it in court, even though the day up to and including the day before the trial,
her story never wavered one fucking bit about what he did and all the physical evidence matched up to.
You fucking lying twat.
It's almost like money changes everything.
Almost.
Weird, right?
Winner here, Rosie Ruiz has to be.
She does.
She wins it definitely, everybody.
She lied about everything.
At least Julio Lugo was actually married and actually played baseball.
Like, she lied about everything.
She wasn't even an athlete.
No, her name was Rosie.
It's the only fucking thing that was true about her.
Too fat of an ass to be a runner.
We already know that.
That's what that guy said. That's right. I looked at her. her i was like jesus her ass is way too fat to be a runner
that was really weird so rosie ruiz congratulations rosie very good wow wow the panel good choices so
far they're really doing on their game this year yeah not bad next up one of my favorites most apt
nickname yeah so best nickname going here.
It's pretty self-explanatory.
We got a few of them that are pretty good this year.
Bernard Looney Toon, if you remember him.
That's really good.
Yeah.
Looney is his nickname.
Kept getting arrested for doing looney shit, like repeatedly got arrested for the exact
same crime.
And I'm talking the exact same crime crime stealing radios out of audis only
audis in hotel parking lots puzzling behavior that looney describes perfectly i feel like
perfectly next up david skywalker thompson yeah amazing dunker a finalist in the first dunk
contest against dr j uh 48 48-inch vertical leap.
Pretty apt.
Not bad.
Ruined everything.
Ruined it all.
Tyler the Beast East.
That's pretty good.
Beat women, wielded shotguns, killed a woman.
Generally a terrifying man to be anywhere near.
And if the hunting of humans was suddenly allowed
it would be people like him that we'd hunt more beast than man so i feel like that's an app nickname
he's more beast than man i thought you were gonna say something beast but you said beat women no no
he beat beat women god that was funny yes he did uh did. Next up, finally, final contestant, Vinny the Pasmanian Devil Pazienza.
I don't know why it's an appropriate nickname.
I don't know where Pasmania is located.
But I assume the island is very dangerous because it's crawling with Vinnies everywhere.
But remember, he's always innocent.
You have to remember that about Vinny.
Winner of this one.
This is a tough one, a tough category.
We need a drumroll.
People are very excited about this winner.
Vinny Pazienza.
He wins it.
He wins it in a strange one.
The judges, they said it's a very confusing one, but for some reason it just felt right.
That's what Benny said.
I think Frankie backed him up.
Just felt right.
That's what Benny said.
I think Frankie backed him up.
Even though Pazmania isn't a place, his craziness creates a state of and the state of Pazmania.
Both the state and the state.
He's insane, and his insane nickname is the only proper and fitting thing for him. If he had a regular nickname, it wouldn't work for him.
And also, the wordplay and pun is it's perfect
it's beautiful it's very well done least apt nickname this is the worst nickname it makes
no sense for someone which is really this is my favorite category i think the guy with the nickname
of todd first up marion suge knight yeah okay suge knight named for sugar bear nothing sweet about this scheming scam
scamming murdering fucking bully and produces zero cereal so fuck this guy nothing useless
sugar smack in the bunch not a not a one useless uh kabari the egyptian magician salem Useless. Kabari, the Egyptian magician, Salem. Yeesh.
Not even magic at all.
Very little magic.
Makes me wonder if he's even Egyptian.
Anyway, not magic and not a jerky boy's character.
Very upset with him for that.
Next up, Yuri Boobs Bubla.
Yeah.
Misleading.
I'll leave it at that.
Just misleading.
It's misleading.
We got to put him in liar, too.
Misleading.
Winner here.
Drum roll for this one.
Let's see.
This is a tough category.
I got my pick.
The Egyptian magician.
Oh, okay.
Kabari Salem.
Maybe someone thinks sugar is sweet.
There's a lady out there that's like, boy, that sugar was sweet as hell to me.
I'm sure out there somewhere.
And technically boobs are in the eye of the beholder.
So you could put that,
but magic is fucking magic.
How dare you just use it? Cause it rhymes.
Fuck you.
Your name sucks.
A dick Kabari eat me.
So he's done this one here.
Good God.
See all of these categories categories people don't understand
they're fighting people are jockeying for position all year so we're getting people are putting ads
and magazines trying to get our attention for please i need this it's a lot of tweets we're
getting i could even have people directly trying to influence us which isn't right and this award
is the most people are the most pushing for this one. It's the top silver-haired, middle-aged white man of the year award.
They come out of the woodwork.
I've had guys knocking on my door, handing me envelopes.
I can't take this anymore.
I can't.
It's too much stress, man.
It's a lot.
Somebody dropped some keys to a Corvette in your mailbox.
It was crazy.
And I will not.
Myself, Frankie, nor Bennyny and they will not be if
they sleep 20 hours a day you can't influence them we will not be influenced by the outside
this is a pure endeavor god damn it so for the top silver-haired middle-aged white man of the year
number one i have to say him first because he's the reigning champion of them is dana white yeah
dana white repeatedly saying that the ufc doesn't
put up with shit then hiring assholes who have done shit that you say you don't put up with
they don't put up with shit and then they put up with all the shit all the shit he's really a
perennial contender he's a he's the champ to beat right now really he is the rocky marciano he's the
reigning champ he's undefeated you can't guy. It's tough, but we have people this year, I think,
that are going to give him some nipping
at the heels. Next up,
the entire Kansas City Chiefs
front office. Wow!
Look at them high-fiving over there
in the luxury box. They know it.
They didn't even know they were nominated.
Their fingers were crossed. I see. Yeah, there's the GM
high-fiving the owner. Good job, guys.
It's constant.
This is for pushing aside domestic violence accusations, repeated ones, against Larry Johnson because he was, quote, starting to play well.
So we waited two years for him.
I don't care if he hit his wife.
We got to get him on the field.
That's what was going on there.
Good job, guys.
Congratulations.
Big old thumbs up from us.
That's not going to backfire in about six years from Larry johnson either huh it's no it's not at all next up and this guy is the hottest contender
we've had man he is coming up like a bolt to the top of the charts here don king my god for stealing
countless i mean countless millions of dollars,
not only from Mike Tyson, but from every boxer that he matched,
especially Mike Tyson, while having not a care in the world
for the impact that Mike was having not only on society,
but on Mike's own deteriorating mental state.
Finally, a real true contender to Dana White.
This guy's a comer. I feel it.
It's good.
This one, Frankie and Benny, they took forever.
It was like 5 a.m.
And I'm like, guys, I know you've been in a meeting talking about this, but we got to get this over with.
We need a drum roll.
This is a big one here, everybody.
This is a big one.
And the winner is, where's my card here?
Here it is.
Open it up here.
Open that envelope.
Rip it open. Open it up here. Open that envelope. Rip it open.
Okay.
Dana White.
Oh, my God.
He reigns as champion again.
Back to back.
Oh, my goodness.
My congratulations, sir.
For you, you glossy head fuck.
Not only does he do all the things we talked about but pretends that guys like john
jones have been paid properly when obviously they fucking haven't he's been a greedy twat
worse than the ncaa and vince mcmahon combined congratulations dana white you fucking scumbag
congratulations congratulations you bald-headed lexuthor-looking motherfucker. Good job. Way to go.
That Vine star, Jake?
Is that his name?
Paul.
I want him to ruin the MMA like he's ruined boxing.
That'd be the one good thing he got out of him.
We got out of him.
That'd be good.
Not the MMA.
I get it.
Yeah.
Next up.
I want him to ruin him.
That would be amazing.
Next up, most brazen excuse oh this is a good
category too this is uh what do you come up with because anybody could come up with a plan what
happens on the spot when you're called for it and you need to come up with something now talk
well let's talk about it most brazen excuse first up michael car, the boxer, said he slept through a hail of gunfire from just feet away on New Year's Eve at a party while everyone else was awake at his own house.
Right.
Not buying that shit.
At a house that is like 800 square feet.
Yes.
Right outside the window.
That gunfire sounds like it's right next to your head.
Sleeping at his own party before midnight.
I was asleep.
Don't think so.
Next up, this is going to be hard to beat this guy, honestly.
David Vaughn Jr.
We remember him from a couple weeks ago.
David Vaughn Jr. getting arrested for walking around being 6'11", wearing absolutely zero pants.
No pants to speak of whatsoever, or underwear. Cock a-swinging and a-swanging.
Yeah.
There was a four-year-old was dangling off it like it was a part of a playpen, and he's arrested.
And his excuse that he gives the cops at the station, David, why did you do this?
Quote, God is naked too.
Yeah, that's true.
It's a pretty brazen excuse.
I think I'd rather hear you say they were itchy.
I think evoking the deity really is going to be.
I don't know.
That's a pretty brazen one.
I got to say Charles Shackelford up next.
His excuse.
I'm actually Jason Williams, not Charles Shackelford.
That's a ball.
That's a ballsy one.
I'm going to tell you, that's pretty good.
How do you be a worse person?
This is a terrible excuse because, first of all, obviously he's not Jason Williams.
Second, you don't pretend to be a worse person than you actually are.
You can't use, oh, I'm that murderer, not me.
That's not a good excuse.
It's brazen.
I'll give him that. I like to to tell the cops i'm ted bundy yeah that that would be what you that's like what it is i
wasn't speeding i'm ted bundy oh okay sorry never mind then uh insane next up and uh this is a good
one here izzy lang the ex-nfl player quote there are microchips in my ears that's his excuse i got
all fucked up because the microchips in my ears are telling me shit i don't want to know so um
even so unless he can prove these said microchips have a programmable quality that can cause him to
commit crime at a rapid rate not interested so winner of this one very prestigious award this is kind of the most bat shit one going winner here david vaughn jr david vaughn yeah not only he's into this no
well not only is his excuse absolutely fucking bat shit crazy but it technically can't even be
disputed we have no idea how god is fixed for pants how could we know all the others can be proven false we can
go into your head and find microchips or not charles shacklesford here's your fingerprint
you're not jason fucking williams very easy to come up with it also doesn't make uh your pants
off be legal that's the other thing well i mean if god can do it carba hall witnesses said you
were right there all three of those things we can can't dispute. My God is naked, too.
It's a good excuse.
That's all I'm going to say.
Next up.
This is a very sad category, but also hilarious.
Longest fall from grace.
Oh, boy.
This is the how the heights you were at.
You went from the heights of the heights to the lows of the lows.
It can't just be, you know, little dips.
It's got to be a big one.
This.
Let's see here
uh first up mike tyson yeah i have to give it to him i mean he went from being his q rating this
guy should have had he should have several hundred million dollars right now hundred million several
he was one of the most famous people on the planet never mind an athlete married a tv star while the youngest heavyweight
champ in boxing history you can't that should be a billy top top of the mountain david thompson
number two he was the number one pick in the nba draft a huge star could do whatever he wanted he
got whatever he wanted out of his contract in the aba he was michael j Jordan's idol. He's the greatest player of all time's idol. Put it that
way. He's a dunking icon.
Drove a Rolls Royce.
Did great. Then got
tossed down some steps at
Studio 54 for flirting with
someone's girlfriend and it was all
over. Right at the cusp
of guys making big money where he might
have made $10 million a year instead of
$800,000
that's a little fall that's a fall all downhill from there yeah like a like a like a turd on a
mountain is rolling next up marcus buff bagwell yeah you got to include him he spent almost 10
years on television on a weekly basis he has more tv time in the 90s than seinfeld i shit you not he was on tv from the he
was in wcw in 1990 right till they fucking went off the air in 2001 he was on constantly um women
loved him big strong cool dumb hat that's all these things in the 90s went from went from all
of that to having to do indie wrestling and doing bad cameo videos
with weird teeth things have gotten bad and like an only fans no webs web page uh jesus gigolo shit
no that's just sad that's too far that's too far and uh last contestant marion shug knight
i mean good god he was the arbiter of street cool
you know what i mean i mean he had several of the top selling acts on death row if you just got
someone on death row that's immediately that's a gold record now yeah because shug blessed it
he had people beaten at will only man he's scared of was charles oakley so that's pretty uh that's
a long fall from grace to now where he's sitting in a jail cell and he's scared of was charles oakley so that's pretty uh that's a long fall from grace
to now where he's sitting in a jail cell and he's having a lot of problems in there
it's a tough category winner of this one tough category here uh buff is so pathetic okay first
of all uh that his fall seems to be the biggest but suge went from being the coolest guy on earth
to being in prison and then shooting himself for attention at that party that one time too david is the saddest story david thompson
because what could have been but tyson is really the fall everybody it's it's mike tyson he's the
winner obviously hands down yeah he could and should have been the all-time heavyweight icon
forever he should have been george foreman but with even more money
as if he played his cards right and instead he's a fucking mess and you see he's been on and off
and doing things now he looks great though he's got big bags of weed i saw him posing with yeah
he's doing great now but that fall he should have in cell for several years is not good when he
should have half a billion dollars in his fucking pocket right in the right in the sweet spot of a boxing career he's in prison his biggest fight was signed with holyfield's
make a fortune next up another this is a this category they they come from the four corners
of the earth to fight for this one jimmy the cracked egg award yeah for the most brain damage
accumulated this is a tough they come from. They put their bids in.
Ronnie Yoke.
Ronnie Yoke.
First up, Izzy Lang for thinking that microchips in his ears are causing his criminal proclivities.
That's not good.
Jeff Gaylord, football player and wrestler, repeatedly robbed banks thinking he would get away with it.
Just the same guy robbing banks.
So that's not very smart.
I feel like there's a lot of head drama there.
Larry Johnson running back for the Chiefs.
Putting his temper aside, his proclivity to beat women and threaten them with broken vodka bottles
is even overshadowed by his spreading of the craziest,
most bat shit conspiracy theories known to man or beast.
He's stark raving bat shit and ready for the 2020s everybody
i think he might be the guy uh tony demers another one torpedo tony hockey player uh killed a woman
carried her into the hospital and said don't worry i'll pay for the bills and then left
that's ballsy yeah i don't think someone with a functioning brain would choose that as their
dismount here's a woman i killed i'll pay the hospital bills have a good one drinks on me
drinks on me next up this is a surprise one the judges were very surprised that the panel put
this in here terrell sucks t sizzle for thinking that he doesn't have any brain damage after a 15-plus year career in the NFL.
You know what that tells me?
On defense.
A lot of brain damage.
On the line, rushing where offensive linemen try to butt you in the head and smack you.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Where running backs' knees drill into your helmet while you try to tackle them low.
For claiming he doesn't have brain damage.
That is wild.
Winner of this category. again, very difficult category.
The judges had a hard time.
A lot of brain damage here.
Solid examples.
Everybody's frontal lobes are disintegrated.
So it's really, you know, cutting, splitting hairs.
But I'm going to have to, the panel gives it to everybody.
Larry Johnson.
It's got to be Larry Johnson.
The level of crazy that he has become can only be achieved through serious brain injuries.
And I feel like he's the man to take this title into the 2020s and beyond.
At Chipotle, James, when they offer him guac, he says, no thanks.
I have a frontal lobe.
Yeah, that's okay.
I have plenty.
I'm all right.
Don't worry about it.
So it's mushy. A little mus mushy yeah so uh that's that one larry johnson he's doing well tonight not bad next up this is an honorary award award
we stick it in this is a feel-good award after we put it in after brain damage to make us feel a
little bit better this is the mandy malone, yes. For actually not only turning your entire life around, but turning it around to the point where you are positively contributing to society in a very valuable way that people should look up to you for.
You actually are doing this.
Mandy Maloon exemplifies this.
And this year, she's going to hand this award over to a very deserving man karan butler is going
to get it this year karan butler passed his horrible teenage crime sprees and all that he
really really turned into a peacemaker and a nice guy and a good person and he does a ton of stuff
to does nice things for kids has smart shit to say he's a good guy and nba players coming in should listen to him
a man messaged me who rode his bike in dc while he was overweight and to get slim he rode his bike
to like give himself some exercise pulled up to a stop sign karan butler pulled up next to him and
rolled down his window and said keep going big man i believe in you and drove off that's how he is
good guy actions like that earn you the mandy malone award
good for you next up these next few these are the last couple here i think there's three left
most likely to have a second crime and sports episode these are people that aren't we're not
done with them yet they could i feel like they're in the prime of their crime careers there's so
much going on first up up john John Bones Jones, everybody.
For sure.
I think he's got a lot left in the tank, both in and out of the octagon.
I think he's got a lot.
He's violent, disagreeable, and on the line to get even more brain damage.
So the possibilities are limitless for him.
They really are limitless.
Derek Chisora, boxer.
He's the guy who had uninsured bentley's that
tells you a lot about his mental state that is um he's crazy threatens to kill people over parking
spots at the post office that's not going to go away threatens to kill everybody all over the
place even does it on camera there's no way he's going to stay out of jail when he's totally broke there will be a reckoning due and it will get ugly finally
teddy heart yeah oh teddy heart he's young crazy and full of energy he's got the stamina to really
make an impact in the world of sports crime his potential is limitless and he carries cats in
public just weird as fuck he's a heart something. Something's going to go down. Winner of this one.
It's prestigious because it's someone we might meet again.
Teddy Hart.
It's Teddy Hart.
It was a unanimous sweep.
He had that one.
Yeah.
All three judges.
When we did his episode, he literally committed a crime like three weeks earlier.
Right.
It just happened.
And I had to add that because I was working on it before that. If he can stay alive, which is a big if, he's got the potential to be a Crime and Sports
Hall of Famer, multiple episodes, huge degree of crazy.
And did I mention he brings cats to work?
You betcha.
Creepy as fuck.
So there's that.
Next up is the person you'd least want to date your daughter award.
Here we go.
This we're going to start out with Tyler Beast East.
You don't want your daughter or anybody, your child, dating anyone named Beast, first of all.
Beat and shot his girlfriend, then drug her out in the front lawn of their trailer, only to be shot by a neighbor.
So he's no threat now, but still not a good guy.
Andrew Wadsworth, british mma fighter murdered
a woman with her child right there that's a real nice guy there buff bagwell that's just embarrassing
nobody wants buff bagwell coming over to christmas dinner with his top hat and his teeth son no that's
just embarrassing uh there's a couple more we there's extra contenders on this one next up willie cannon shannon as well
the boxer rapist also kidnapped a woman held her ransom from her family then murdered her and
threw her off a bridge very very nice guy that's who you want and finally steve gator wolf the
wrestler the jobber because he'd molest any kids that were around. So you wouldn't want him.
That would be bad.
Winner here.
This was a tough one.
We had to do four or five re-votes.
It was really hard.
Andrew Wadsworth is the winner.
British MMA fighter.
The lack of self-control needed to kill a woman with her child in the room makes him the most dangerous person out there and a terrible candidate to be anyone's son-in-law.
Congratulations. You can kill your daughter in front of your grandchildren. In front front of your grandchildren and then he might tell you about it too so next up and i think there's uh three more awards yeah next up the please turn it around
award or we call it the ron lafleur memorial award of a guy that you just like and you just
want him to turn it around.
Cause you just kind of like him.
There's one of those guys first up here.
Uh,
Vinnie Pazienza.
Um,
I want to like him.
He's Italian.
He's fucking crazy.
If his antics didn't hurt people,
he'd be fucking hilarious.
Help me laugh at you,
sir.
Help me,
help me do that.
Please turn it around.
Please help me root for you. That's what I need here, sir. Help me. Help me do that. Please turn it around. Or at least help me root for you.
That's what I need here.
Next up, and this was a sad one because you'll know in a second, Keith McCants.
Oh, Keith.
He technically can't turn it around since he died this year, but much like a film nominated for an Oscar, it doesn't lose contention because the director died.
He's still in the running.
We were rooting for him.
Next up, Oil Can Boyd.
It's just hard not to like the guy.
He's just funny.
He's just a crackhead.
He doesn't hurt anybody.
He just likes to smoke crack and do crazy shit and fill his hat with crack.
He's a happy guy.
Hard to dislike him.
The winner here, this was a blowout.
Clean sweep.
Keith McCants. It's Keith mccance what a nice guy a damn shame that he's gone and i'm still rooting for him wherever
he is because that guy he tried so fucking hard and thankfully in florida had somebody uh a lawyer
i think the guy is helping him tremendously and thank fuck poor keith his body just couldn't take it and uh yep
it was just uh so heartbreaking wish he was still here especially to get that award
keith would have been proud of that award by the way he would have said
fuck thanks guys because he was cool like that appreciate you for me now next up is an award that
we had that i've i've taken down because it's it's been we have to come up with a new honoree for it.
This was the Lenny Dykstra I'm good now award.
It was the award for getting the fact that you did dumb shit and even having a sense of humor about it.
But we have to start a new award because as much as Lenny gets that people are going to laugh at him, he's taken it to a whole new level of lunacy with these conspiracy theories and this crazy shit he's talking about.
No one wants that award.
Now, that award, he would say it's got radio signals in it and it's going to give you 5G.
And we can't.
We can't.
We can't.
So instead, we are going to move on to a new award this season.
All right.
It's a new one very prestigious
award the worst father award this is important i feel like we've never touched on how bad they are
with their kids the worst father award uh up first jose for stopping if you remember used his son as
a racing pawn which is fine And Max is a champion now.
That's great.
But the way he did it was a little iffy.
Left him at a gas station for not racing as well as he would have liked him to.
Made him walk.
A host of parental weird issues and shit.
Not cool.
issues and shit not cool next up kabari the egyptian magician salem killed his daughter and dumped her body on the side of the road for defying him oh that's not a good father at all
um next up jerry the king lawler also a terrible father you know you're a terrible father when your
son has had an episode before you that's how you know you're a bad father uh but jerry the king
here treated brian like a second class citizen um treat everyone said all the wrestlers said treated him like shit
made him do things he wouldn't have made other wrestlers do and also uh walked in on him being
having something shoved up his ass and was fine with it as people were you know attacking him
like that so there's that not a good dad winner, it's not even close, babe.
In a blowout, Kabari Salem.
Yeah, that's the most disgusting thing you can do.
He really took it the extra mile, I feel like.
Not just causing damage that needed to be dealt with in the future,
but making it so there was literally no future whatsoever for his child.
Irreparable.
Not just causing psychological damage, causing it all. Kabari, you really you ran away with that one he's cleaning up tonight kabari he's got two awards so
far um most likely to find and kill me this is a good award i like this award most likely uh first
up larry johnson yeah he could confuse me for the leader of like a one world government shadow group that uses halftime Super Bowl shows to beam out secret messages to the Illuminati.
And he sends out plans to implant tracking devices on all ex NFL running backs.
He could think I'm in charge of that. It's because you're a lizard person.
It could happen. You never know. Next up, Marion Shug Knight.
Yeah. Doesn't take kindly to jokes.
Doesn't have to even get out to do it.
Doesn't like to get made fun of a lot, especially if they're at his expense.
Also has a large network of people to do such things.
But luckily, I think he might have bigger things to worry about.
So we could be safe.
Next up, Izzy Lang, microchips in my head.
I don't even think he'd be he'd be mad he'd just not know
who he was killing and kill me by accident it'd be as random as anybody else it wouldn't be in
a you know retribution or anything so this category let's see here drum roll Larry Johnson
Larry Johnson anyone who can believe the crazy shit that he believes is capable of literally
anything I put nothing past his crazy fucking ass.
Next up's the big one, everybody.
Scumbag of the year.
It's the one we've all been waiting for.
People have been jockeying for a position all year.
We get a couple extra contestants in this category.
We're loaded up.
Everyone needs to calm down.
People are chewing their fingernails.
Very nervous.
We got to straighten our bow ties for this one.
Let's do it.
Everybody for scumbag of the year.
Let's do it.
Oh, boy.
Now, remember, everybody, this isn't just a body count thing.
There's no mathematical equation to this.
It's not just what you did, but how you did it.
A complete disregard for decency and general human nature, even having a bit of Elan in your crime.
Crazy shit.
Let's find out scumbag of the year.
Okay, here we go.
First of all, Andrew Wadsworth.
We've talked about him.
Vicious murderer called the devil incarnate by a judge.
Yikes.
That's pretty good.
He might as well have said scumbag of the year.
Marion Shug Knight, volume, volume, volume.
He sells volume.
He's been a crime star for over 30 years.
Swindling, threatening, beating, beating cheating and murder are some of his
specialties he's a scum for the ages i'm telling you right now next up tyler the beast east bad
stuff a trash life just a nightmare to have around sounded like jay adams in like mma form uh ended by his own trashy act and the alertness of a
neighbor to shoot his crazy ass when he had the chance good for you next up kabari salem i mean
he's already got two awards but how do you how do you beat that killing his own daughter because
she wouldn't break up with her non-muslim boyfriend right hey asshole if you
must kill to solve this kill the boyfriend what are you killing your daughter for you fucking
idiot don't you know who would kill their daughter kill him you need to sit down with italian people
and talk we would guy listen i'll take care of him that's it next up and of course willie the
canon shannon rapist murderer the scum of the scum, the scum de la scum, I call him.
He's the scum de la scum.
And then finally, one more, just because, again, Mike Tyson's got to be on the list.
Iron Mike, he accounted for three episodes, Jimmy.
That's never been done before.
He's just done too much shit to list.
I'm causing too many asses. Jesus. three episodes, Jimmy. That's never been done before. He's just done too much shit to list. An unparalleled...
Too many asses. Jesus.
An unparalleled arrest record.
Just an unparalleled... Throwing away
hundreds of millions of dollars.
Public meltdown. Ear-biting.
Threatening to eat people's
children. He's a buffet of
sports crime, everybody. He's
going to be tough to beat. Here we
go, everybody. It's the big one. Oh, I can see the beads of sweat on their foreheads. He's going to be tough to beat. Here we go, everybody.
It's the big one.
Oh, I can see the beads of sweat on their foreheads.
Everybody's out there.
It's like a sentence hearing.
It is.
In a photo finish, the Egyptian magician Kabari Salem takes home the title of scumbag of the year.
He's got an armful of awards.
People are so mad.
Look at that.
Look at that.
Mike Tuck.
There's a riot out there.
Jesus.
There's so many people trying to kill him.
There's six murderers going after him.
Sit down.
Jesus Christ.
Much like the Oscars, every year, Jimmy, one rises through the zeitgeist to squirm their
way into the voters' hearts and killing your daughter, then indiscriminately dumping her
body.
Even serial killers cover their victims from feelings of guilt or they put them somewhere
that would be safe to not be attacked by animals or whatever. But this man, this man, Jimmy,
he's a special man, cared so little for his own daughter that he brutally murdered her,
dumped her like she was garbage, then pretended he couldn't possibly know where she could be and ran off to Kuwait.
For this, you, Kabari Salem, have earned the coveted 2022 Scumbag of the Year.
Would you look at, they've gotten, there's peace in the auditorium.
It is a standing ovation.
That's one, thank you.
That's great.
Kabari, take your bow, buddy.
You are the king of all of this.
And that, everybody, is the 2022 Scummy Awards.
Hope you enjoy.
I know, I know, maybe some of your bets didn't go right.
Don't you argue with me, okay?
This is what the panel chose.
I have no, I'm one of them,
but I have no power over Frankie and Benny
and how they vote, so.
If you all look under your chairs,
there's gift bags, there's things in there.
A lot of you have needles.
Very, most of you have needles.
So anyway, that's our episode.
That's the scummies.
Wow.
If you enjoyed any of that,
tell everybody about that. If you liked any of that, tell everybody about that.
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So check that out.
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Next month in March, we are going to be coming up in a couple weeks here.
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here and you get a shout out at the end of the show here like we're going to do in a second
good stuff but uh this week's bonus episode something special that you're going to want to
check out first of all for crime and sports it's all failure yeah failure is where we thrive and
this week it's a it's a feast of failure with bad contracts. Stupid idea to give them the contract. Stupid idea.
The person couldn't live up to it.
Funny shit all around.
How dumb our teams find out they signed John Conkack.
So find that out there.
And then for small town murders, funny, funny and weird and sick and gross and crazy.
We talked about the BTK killer in his own words from a book that he it's pretty much his autobiography he wrote
to an author through letters describing some of a how he came to this and b describing his murder
a particular murder in his own words and it's really gross but also strangely hilarious because
we really hate the guy and going in on him hard. He gets a roasting, a not even good-natured roasting.
So if you hate BTK Killer, you should definitely listen to this.
And we take a different angle than most people do always.
So check that out.
Patreon.com slash Crime in Sports.
Jesus.
And that'll get you all of that.
If you just want to make a donation so you can get your shout-out and have great karma,
you can do that over at PayPal using our email address address crime and sports at gmail.com it's time jimmy i need the people i need
give me my favorite people hit me with them i think i need them right now this week's executive
producers are carrie smith clay thorson and by the way clay is i can't say it enough he he's he
the donations that he sends us sometimes are just mind-blowing.
It's very, very kind of you, Clay.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, we feel that shit in our hearts, Clay.
Thank you.
It's amazing.
And Jordan Bennett consistently sending us.
It's ridiculous.
Thank you.
So nice.
Thank you for being so supportive and coming to all those shows, too.
We really appreciate it.
And Hot Mess Jess.
Look at you.
Thank you so much. so much. You guys are
some of the best people on earth and we truly
can't thank you enough. Other producers
this week are Jory and Karen.
They closed on their new house. James,
congratulations you two. Congratulations.
And Samantha Quigley
indeed. She wanted to
send another donation to
let us know that Indeed is a
wire reference. And if we didn't catch that.
Oh, Indeed.
Oh, Indeed.
I know.
Hilarious.
I was floored.
Thank you.
She wanted to make sure that we knew.
Also, Ruprecht in Germany.
Thank you.
Thank you, German people.
Corporal Carl Kirchner, James Marder, Mitch Kumstein, Frank the South African Bird Watcher, and Frank the South African Bird Washer, obviously.
Him, too.
Of course.
Mother Jefferson, Arnold Ziffel, Happy Hour in Muskegee, Oklahoma, Damon Stevens, Sean Flanagan, Shelley Roberts in Gun Barrel, Sarah Surridge, Keith Cole, Joey Pepperoni Knips.
That's my favorite one of all time.
Sarah laughs at that every time.
Joey Pepperoni Knips.
She just thinks it's hilarious.
I don't know why.
It's so funny.
Heidi Bayer, James Wildey, Janice Hill, Heather Hayes is going through it.
Hang in there, Heather.
Jesus Christ.
Don't let that shit beat you.
Matthew Webster,
Marcel Destin,
Lucy Kimball
is selling those Girl Scout cookies.
You can go to my Facebook page
for the link.
Slanging.
Also, everybody that donated
just to say happy birthday to me,
you're unbelievable.
Thank you.
Thank you, everybody, for that.
It's ridiculous what you guys do for us,
but I want to make sure
that you understand
that that means a lot to us.
Fuck yeah.
Thank you.
More producers, James.
There's a lot.
Chase McBride, Don Dodds.
He donated both times on Patreon.
Both, I imagine.
One is for a wife or a significant other or a friend.
Cool.
Thank you.
Got two Patreons.
So thank you, Don.
Shit.
Thank you so much.
Will with no last name.
James Stevens.
Zachary Grothason.
TJ Curry. Pamela Dineen. Chase with no last name. James Stevens. Zachary Grothesen. TJ Curry.
Pamela Dineen.
Chase with no last name.
Owen Hill.
Shannon Lansley.
Telly with no last name.
Derek Haberstack.
Sari Mustaine.
Pam Sears.
Philip Brady.
Isabel Mankey.
Tiffany Sawatsky.
Annalena Humberg.
Lita Jackweese.
Jackweese?
Jackus?
Oh, boy.
John Sozner.
Nevada Wachob. Wachob. Jackis. Oh, boy. John Sozner in Nevada.
Wachob, Wachob.
Christine Savage, Shelby Alcorn, Jeff Jamerson, Alexandra Firth, Christine Leister, Oscar Ramos.
Corey with no last name.
Teresa Kirkwood, Tim Olson, Rob Dobbs.
Tyler Sounds Like a Boxer Frazier.
Coles Zorab, Katcha. Jadorian.
What the fuck?
How do you do that?
Katcha.
I'll never get it.
We can sit here all day.
Jenny Rourke.
Dave Hawkridge.
Molly Thorstinson.
Dave Guisto.
Oh, boy.
Barp Daddy.
What?
Abigail Kazel Berger.
Jeremiah Armstrong.
Matthew Reed.
William Inskeep.
Inskeep? Stacey Lawrence, Susan West, Tim Fox, James Hunter, Michael Hartad, Don Jenkins, Michaela Kirk, Roma Romerica Rifkin, Kellen Y, Wendy Lynn Gregg, Yvette with no last name, Ryan with no last name, Silas Fielder, Lisa Morin. Shelby with no last name. Matt Hempel.
Tom Tremblay.
Jaco Lagrange.
Pretty badass name.
Andrew Theron.
Of course.
And that's the real Andrew Theron.
Our fucking man.
We love Andrew Theron.
He's coming next week to be the character, man, because we just dig him.
I like him.
Look out for Andrew Theron next week. Swinging through a window near you.
Joe Rodriguez. Bella L. Javon. Javon Apollinar. like him look out for andrew therian next week swinging through a window near you joe rodriguez
bella l joy von javon javon al apple linar uh jay oliveris in inana in on a line lauren clark
sing oh boy say sine who keemer it's not gonna happen amy martin matsky faucet gerard jared
jared tennyson artemis martin jamie frost em, Emily Lynch, Melissa with no last name, Ruth Hayden, Siri Pearson, Kristen B., Canadian Logger Girl Andy, Becky Klein, Bobby Brooks, Tom Skatum, Steve Dornaman, Eric Hummel, Jackie Beck, Sean Queenan, Matthew Wheeler, Marissa Kaufman, Sarah with no last name, Scout with no last name, Neins with no last name,
Jamie Ellefson, Anastasia Penny-Shikoski, Stephanie Mattingly,
Caitlin with no last name, Scott McNellis, Sarah Santiago,
Bria Moira Kilgore, Laxton, Saxton, Lump, Saxon, Ashley Peck,
Bodie Van Ree, Brandon with no last name, CJ Willow,
Ashley Peck, Bodie Van Ree, Brandon with no last name, CJ Willow, Matt with no last name, Jonathan Thomason, Mitchell with no last name, Sarah C., Jonathan Godette, Tammy Grubb, Crystal Osborne, Amy with no last name, Cody Estock-Deprima, Jeremy Draper, Jessica Odierno, Demon Lord Draco, Chad Hagood, Liza Dippenar, Randy Rhodes, Maya Rex, Mark 71, Joni Jensen,
Yamsic, Lord of the Yams, Stephanie R., Kate Ritchie, Bo Ewert, Tessa, I can't tell.
Casey O'Daniel, like Pappy O'Daniel's.
Abigail Goliber, Mike Williams, Amy Deans, David Johnson, George Raymond, Jordan Brown,
Charles Nelson Riley.
That's fantastic.
Great.
He's going to throw glitter everywhere.
Smoke a cigarette.
Joshua Reed, Maureen DeHaan, Reka, Tito with no last name, Dave Wood, Tiana McDonald, Noah Downs, Shannon Eubanks.
That's two fucking game shows.
SeaWash, RoHawk, Shelby Owning, Didi Vann, I think, Austin Burel, eddie escamilla paul brady nick taylor tyler coolan uh delora wilson jonathan grogan roberta with no last name brin with no last name dustin
delgros tavaro taveras taveras malone tavaris uh james buda daniel scott herbie okay verse smells
trying to get me
to say
Herbie Versamels
James
that's what that is
I'm not gonna do it
Herbie
I like when you catch them
you deal with it yourself
are you happy
you proud of yourself
Sam Barry
Leah with no last name
Peter Vessi
McCarthy
Justin Critcher
Gimpy Housewife
Allie Allpress
and all of our patrons
you guys are
fucking amazing
thank you so much
thank you so much everybody for all that you do for us.
Honestly, we're blown away by it.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
We hope you're enjoying everything we're putting out,
all the bonus shit and everything like that.
Thank you for your love, your support, your money, your fucking time.
Thank you for all of it.
Your attention.
We need attention, damn it.
We're comedians.
We do this because we didn't have the attention we desired
as children god damn it help us
that's right so
anyway you want to find us on social media
the show you know where we are google crime
and sports hosts we're the only fucking ones or
just go to shut up and give me murder.com or you can
click right to them and get other
stuff like that but that said it's been a long
fun episode crazy shit
we'll keep being here and live from the Crime and Sports studios.
We will see you next week.
Bye.
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