Crime in Sports - #296 - Escalating In Awful - The Contemptibleness of Dana Stubblefield

Episode Date: March 29, 2022

This week, we dip back into the brain damage sports, with a longtime NFL player, who just happens to be a REALLY terrible person! He says all the right things, but they all seem to not be tru...e. Like when he said that he didn't kick his girlfriend, in the head, because she wanted to feed their newborn baby at 4am, or when he said he didn't try to run that woman, on that bicycle down, with his SUV, or when he said that he didn't rape that developmentally disabled woman. Things like that. But, the question is, do the courts believe him??  Be a perennial pro bowl defensive lineman, have the police not arrest you, even though you told them that you kicked your girlfriend, and spend possibly life in prison with Dana Stubblefield!! Check us out, every Tuesday! !We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!!  Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman  Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com  Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com  Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!!  Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsports crimeinsports@gmail.com facebook.com/Crimeinsports instagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:34 A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial at audible.ca. The Queen of the Courtroom is back. How did I know that? i have crystal ball in my head new cases leave her a long so uh this is not a so this is a period classic judy it's streaming you can say anything it's an all-new season judy justice only on freebie Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports. Yay! Oh, yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay indeed. My name is James Petrogallo. I'm here with my co-host.
Starting point is 00:01:33 I am Jimmy Wissman. Thank you folks so much for joining us today on another crazy, wild edition of Crime and Sports. Hope you enjoyed last week with the updates and, of course, the nutsack nibbler. Hope you enjoyed last week with the updates and, of course, the nutsack nibbler. Last week was the most crime we've ever had in an episode because it was just all crime. Wall to wall. Updates of crime. So if you missed that, if you were like, oh, updates, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:02:00 Go back and listen to Sonny getting arrested like six times, Mayhem Miller. Ben Cousins had an amount of meth up his ass that you'll never guess. You'll never guess how much it was. And when you hear it, you'll be impressed, actually. You won't even go gross. You'll go, wow, that's I'm impressed. That's a lot. So check that out. Quickly,
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Starting point is 00:03:06 is going to be a fun one this week it's going to be crazy patreon.com slash crime and sports if you haven't subscribed yet you really you're missing a lot we'll say you get access to the crime and sports bonus episodes the small town murder bonus episodes the whole back catalog yeah everything like that even get a shout out at the end of the show your name gets mispronounced it's a it's a value bargain and this week the episodes you are going to receive are for crime and sports in honor of april fool's day we are going to do probably the best sports hoax in the history of sports here and we love that we love tricks people playing tricks oh yeah they put it out it. It's a story of Sid Finch. And if you don't know this story, it's the story where they they put out in Sports Illustrated that they found this person like in the mountains somewhere that could throw 120 miles an hour. I took pictures with Mel Stottlemyre and Lenny Dykstra and all this shit.
Starting point is 00:04:05 And it's crazy. And they made the whole thing up. And it was this big hoax that Mets fans believed. And it was hilarious. And I'll tell you all about it. It's like the scout with Brendan Fraser, except what that's kind of based on. How desperate are Mets fans to win? That's what I mean. We got him.
Starting point is 00:04:21 We got him. We got him? We got the guy. We landed him. He gave him a jersey and everything. It's crazy. It's a great story. And then for small town murder, very disturbing, Diane Downs.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Do you know who she is? Do you remember her? Why do I know that name? Because she shot her kids and then made up a very elaborate story and went on every goddamn television show there was and told this story in a horrifyingly upbeat manner that is just the creepiest thing i've ever seen in my life we're going to talk about it she's on an episode of oprah back in the day where she's arguing with crime true crime writer and rule saying that the book's inaccurate and she's totally innocent and it's crazy. This woman is off the charts insane.
Starting point is 00:05:07 Psychopaths, sociopaths, all the paths. She's got them all. Is she from Texas? Wild. We'll talk about the whole thing there. Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports. You'll get it all this week and the shout out. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:05:20 And if you just want the shout out, head over to PayPal. Use our email address, Crimeandandsports at gmail.com. Let's get into this, Jimmy. A lot of show. All right, let's go. Let's do it. And we can say this with confidence this week. Our scumbag of the week is this guy.
Starting point is 00:05:34 Wow, is this a bad guy. I mean, it gets progressively worse. And then the last thing, you're just like, like wow this guy is just unbelievable scum dana stubblefield remember him yes oh yes dana william stubblefield here uh dana was born november 14th 1970 he's from ohio it's c-l-e-v-e-s so it could be clevis it could be cleaves it could be cleavis it could be anything and i'm not going Cleaves. It could be Cleavis. It could be anything. And I'm not going to take a guess because I don't really give a shit. He's so big.
Starting point is 00:06:09 He's huge. When he plays, he's 6'2", 290, sometimes up to 300 pounds. So big old defensive tackle here. And he plays at Taylor High in North Bend, Ohio is where he starts out. And he is like a beast on the field. I mean, he's a gigantic human being. He really is. We'll talk a little later about how he got quite so gigantic.
Starting point is 00:06:35 But even in high school, he's this big, giant guy. I found an article in high school here from 1987, which is, I i mean he's like a sophomore this year where he rushed the ball seven times for 94 yards and had a touchdown and also had 11 tackles on defense he averaged like 14 yards to carry yeah and then made 11 tackles on defense too he's just dominating the field so that's the kind of giant guy he is he's also a wrestler in high school i found out makes sense which is hilarious he's got a wrestling background which uh well way till the end of the show you're gonna say wow when everything gets all done for him there's there's a career path wonder if vince is gonna be knocking on his door so he uh he was wrestling in his senior year he's a heavyweight obviously at this point in the season
Starting point is 00:07:27 from february 1989 he was undefeated in 24 matches wow which is pretty fucking uh pretty amazing here and uh just kicking ass at this point he's 6-1-2-67 good fuck it's they said he's only been into the second period three times this year. So he's just wrecking people in the first fucking frame of this shit. And yeah, he said that this year I expect it to be better. And I am so far, he said. So he's very happy with his with his wrestling. Now, his senior season in football, I found they said that he has. I found a little kind of profile of him in the paper saying he
Starting point is 00:08:05 has good speed he has a he runs a 4 8 40 that's not bad not bad for a guy who's about 280 at this point that's an enormous man that's a really that's a lot of man coming at you at 4 8 40 like that's a rocket for that size of a man that's not great for a wide receiver, but for a defensive tackle, that's scary. That's a big dude. So his grades, though, you would think this guy is going to be recruited by every college in existence. Not a thing? No, because he's not a— Because he's a dope? His grades scared off recruiters.
Starting point is 00:08:41 Dana's a dummy. This is in the late 80s, Jimmymy when they didn't really give a shit about that so imagine how fucking bad you have to be at school yeah how just not showing up to your classes do you have to be to possibly have division one colleges not be interested in you because that's a lot wow um not good that's what it has to be right just not caring at all not going yeah it's not that he's got he's not he goes and just gets shitty grades no no he's not stupid at all like that's the other thing about dana dana's far from dumb he's a smart guy he's just doesn't want he's not interested to apply it yeah he's a gigantic
Starting point is 00:09:21 he's a gigantic human being who's dominated in football since he stepped on a field so he has no doubt that he's gonna go to college no matter what his fucking grades are because i guarantee you he's gotten probably favors and help and things like that all through school so he's expecting more he does get his 40 time down to a 4-7 though so oh that's nice that's pretty good and he's finally recruited here um i mean multiple schools recruited him but i mean it should have been every big school yeah it should have been usc and notre dame and ohio state everybody should have been up his ass yeah and he's in ohio he's in ohio yeah so i mean ohio state's like jesus no one's gonna
Starting point is 00:10:01 get him but instead he ends up at Kansas. Really? Which is not considered a giant football powerhouse. You know, that's obvious. They're in the Final Four as we speak. Their basketball team is insane. And has been for a long time, since Danny Manning and shit. And before that even. I mean, the old, they've had forever.
Starting point is 00:10:21 Was it Roy Williams was their coach, I think? They had for 30 years or something um but he made it on to the jay hawks but he was on prop 48 status what does that mean that means you're too dumb to play right now um you have to work to work it out a little bit it means you're not qualifying out of high school on ncaa academic standards to receive the scholarship they'd like to give you. So does he have to test in or do you have to take like extra classes? He has to work toward it. Yeah, he can't take the scholarship.
Starting point is 00:10:53 So he ends up sitting out his freshman year, which they usually redshirt you anyway. So that's really not a loss for him. That's the other thing. Like, oh, big punishment. Damn, they're making me stay, which now you just have time to work out and get your body right for college now. So it's not really a big loss.
Starting point is 00:11:13 He says, though, it was a great experience, and he's almost thankful for it, almost, that he didn't get right in. He said, quote, it was a big advantage for me. While they were out practicing i was in study hall i'm doing really well in school none of that is true by the way none of that he's doing terrible in school uh there's a let's see here's uh chuck woodling who's the sports editor for the jayhawks whatever quote he didn't do very well on the books, but he was a smart guy. He was a classic example of why they would have Prop 48.
Starting point is 00:11:48 He screwed up in high school, but he could do the work. So, yeah, he didn't care. And he says, Dana, though, takes it a step further and says, the only reason I came here is because Coach Mason is the only one who told me I'd get an education. Or because they're the ones that said that they would make sure of it he's only interested in getting an education that's it i mean he has no interest in multi-million dollar professional football why would he he'd like to maybe get a cpa and yeah you know go buy a giant suit and get a job at wall street make a nice solid 78 grand a year and uh why would he go for these nfl dreams
Starting point is 00:12:26 this is crazy he's forced to live in newark and commute to the city and i can't wait no shit and this line for kansas had gilbert brown on it too that is too enormous remember gilbert brown for the packers he weighed 350 pounds jesus they made a special burger king made a special whopper for him in green bay that was like eight or ten patties or some crazy shit it was called you could order it in there in milwaukee or whatever in green bay order the gilbert brown you could have a get order the gilbert brown and they'd give you this giant whopper that you know that's disgusting stop your arteries i think he died gilbert brown i'm not sure i think he's dead but to have those two
Starting point is 00:13:04 on a line together is taking up a lot of space. They don't even have to have any lateral movement. They just stand still, and there's not a lot of room to run with those two dudes. So 1990, ready to play. Yeah. He's ready to go. It says in this article, quote, while he was studying last year, he was also pumping iron. Oh, yes, he was.
Starting point is 00:13:24 He weighs 305 right now. Oh, yes, he was. He weighs 305 right now. Okay. And bench presses 400. And he can still run the 40 and 4.8. He is so strong. Jesus Christ. His coach said, this is his high school coach, he doesn't look like a fat kid.
Starting point is 00:13:42 Okay. What? He doesn't look like a fat kid. He just has massive look like a fat kid he just has massive legs so he's just a giant guy um giant giant dude so he uh he um also i didn't know this university of cincinnati player keith starks is his half brother at this point now i don't know if he's related to john starks is keith starks brother yeah is keith is dan if he's related to John Starks. Is Keith Starks? Half-brother? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:08 Is Dana Stubblefield related to John Starks? This is what I need to know now. John wouldn't have come up yet. Is Keith Starks, he was at Cincinnati at this time? Yeah, he was University of Cincinnati basketball player. Look up if Dana Stubblefield, John Starks, if they're fucking half-brothers, it'll say. Oh, that's a good point. I'm sure. That'll be the first.
Starting point is 00:14:28 I was going with Keith Starks. Yeah, then we got to find out if Keith's related to John. I was trying to find his wiki, but it doesn't even show one. I'll just go to John Starks wiki because he's the most famous of these guys. Yeah, just a cross-reference of Stubblefield Starks. It's his children. It doesn't show fucking anything. What the hell?
Starting point is 00:14:47 Brothers, siblings, nothing. They just show no siblings? What? What? Hold on. That doesn't make any sense. Let's see here. John Starks, Dana Stubblefield.
Starting point is 00:14:57 Let's get sorry, everybody, but this is some information. If John Starks is half-brothers with Dana Stubblefield, we really need to know this. This is crazy. I don't see anything. Okay. I'm not seeing it. Clyde Stubblefield. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:13 What is this about? Okay. Well, we can't get into this rabbit hole right now, but I don't think they're related. That would probably be known. I don't think they are either. That would be known. Anyway. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:30 that would probably be that would be known anyway yeah um so uh 1990 kansas is three seven and one it's not a good not a real good football team here and he doesn't he plays but he's you know he's he's getting his feet wet yeah 91 they're six and five so a winning record he has 10 sacks though dana which is uh really good for college 10 sacks, though, Dana. Wow. Which is really good for college. 10 sacks. And they still can't manage to put up more than three wins? Six and five. So 10 sacks in only 11 games is pretty good. Oh, six and five.
Starting point is 00:15:54 Yeah, six and five. The other season they were three and seven. Three, seven, and one. One, right. He's on the first team, all big eight team. So, you know, like an all pro team yeah big eight well it's yeah now josh lux or luke's i can't remember how he says it i which he's an agent who a former a disgraced agent and i read i read his book we should got to do a bonus episode about his book
Starting point is 00:16:18 one of these days because it's just tons of dirt on people because he was he was a fucking agent so he has all this filthy agent and he just let it all fly yeah because he was a fucking agent. So he has all this dirt. He's a filthy agent and he just let it all fly? Yeah, because he was trying to say like, you know, this is how easy it is to manipulate the system. And he talks about how he gave athletes money for years in college. Asshole. He wrote an article for Sports Illustrated,
Starting point is 00:16:39 and he said that he offered Stubblefield $10,000 in cash while he was at Kansas, and Stubblefield didn't accept it from him. He turned him down. Yeah, so that could just be that he had another agent already, though. That's the other thing. He just didn't need money right now. Yeah, because he had another agent. That might be the other. Or whatever.
Starting point is 00:16:57 Or he was above it. Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? So, 92, the Jayhawks go 8-4. My goodness. They go all the wayhawks go eight and four. My goodness. They go all the way to the Aloha Bowl. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Which isn't a prestigious bowl, but if you're a college kid and you get a free trip to Hawaii. Not bad. In the middle of winter, that's pretty cool. Yeah. And they play BYU there. Oh. God, imagine those trying to, imagine being Bu's coach and like their staff like part of their job is to keep these kids from fucking and like having fun and drinking and stuff in hawaii
Starting point is 00:17:33 and you're like oh my god it's just a beach they're they're all half naked everyone's gonna fuck by the time we're done here they're gonna try to at least there's so many tits halfway out right now do you know how many impure thoughts are going on on my team right now? It's ridiculous. I can't take it anymore. Trying to keep their head in the game plan? Yeah. Meanwhile, Dana Stubblefield's like fucking got chicks all over him probably with a big smile on his face.
Starting point is 00:17:57 In the BYU game, I didn't realize this, but Steve Young's little brother played for BYU. Is that right? I had no idea. Apparently not as good as Steve Young. I met that guy. Steve Young's little brother played for byu is that right i have no idea apparently not as good as steve young i met that guy steve young's little brother yeah at the at the hall of fame steve young was uh i went to get his autograph yeah and his brother held steve's baby for him oh that was to take a picture with me that was his little brother is so much littler than him that's shocking that was a professional. Well, he's a college quarterback. Well, I mean, apparently he's a better baby holder than he is a quarterback.
Starting point is 00:18:28 Yeah, and a football deliverer. Listen, little bro. Yeah. So his little brother there completed 15 of 31 passes for 262 starts here. He was sacked by Dana Stubblefield six times. Jesus. He just ate him. In one game game he ate him alive here yeah in the bowl game absolutely fucking ate him alive here um and uh stubblefield said we knew that
Starting point is 00:18:54 if we put pressure on him he would make bad decisions and he did so there you go he said they set their guards and tackles so far off the line that it gives me a good chance to get a running start wow because they do yeah you don't want to do that it gives me a good chance to get a running start wow because they do yeah you don't want to do that you don't want to give this guy a running start i don't think you want to pop the fucking line you want to pop him as soon as he came out of his stance man or else as possible oh he's got that's a crazy job for those guys too the guys that are on the line i mean the guys that got a block obviously that's a tough gig in the first place but the other guys have to beat him and then have to beat the quarterback.
Starting point is 00:19:28 It's unbelievable how when they do get a sack, it's a feat of athletic prowess that you can't imagine. It's so much harder to block, though, because you have to block. You're not allowed to grab. You're not allowed to hold. You don't know where the other guy's going either is the other point. He might have a move set up and you're like, shit. But that guy's got a body. As a quarterback, you've got a man that's in between you and that guy
Starting point is 00:19:54 that he's got to get around. You have directions you can go. If that guy's still in that position, the lineman can't get to you. And they can still get a sack. It's fascinating. Every time I see him, I lose my mind because I can't fucking believe that that happened. It's amazing because the quarterback has the option to throw the ball when this guy's coming. He can throw it away.
Starting point is 00:20:17 He can throw it off. And there's a person in between the two of you. He can take off running the opposite direction is another option that's possible. fucking unbelievable doesn't seem like it should happen but yeah it's my favorite achievement in any sport read everybody out there if you like like sports books like if you like like jim bouton ball four which i've recommended and a lot of people liked read jerry kramer's book i can't remember the name of it but if you look up jerry kramer with a k and look up his book it's fucking great about the 67 season he played for the green bay packers and it's fucking it's amazing offensive guard and he
Starting point is 00:20:50 talks about how you know he talks about first of all about how many concussions he has but it's like light-hearted because it's the 60s he talks about one game where he's like yeah i got this concussion because you're supposed to every plays like Lombardi would yell at everybody. I don't want to see any pussy shoulder blocking around here. You block with your goddamn head. You're supposed to drive your head right away into the defender's chest on every play. You're supposed to headbutt them on every goddamn play with the front of your head. That's part of your game in practice, in games.
Starting point is 00:21:21 So that's going to happen. He talked about concussions where he's like, I don't remember half the game head hurt for like four days he's like but i guess i played okay so at one point he says i'm starting to get used to these concussions now they feel nice and i'm like wow imagine warm yeah they feel like home it's just a real joke bleed sir yeah it's just a jokey thing about bart star he's talking about one game had a concussion and they were like, I mean, he came right back in there as soon as he could figure out what was going on.
Starting point is 00:21:49 He didn't know where he was and shit. And they were like, you know where you are now? He's like, yeah, they're like, get back in there. And he fucking ran back.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Like, wow. Unreal. That's wild. So, um, in the regular season in three years at Kentucky, he had our Kentucky,
Starting point is 00:22:03 Kansas, Kansas. Yeah. He had something shit with a K. I don't fucking know. He had, or Kentucky, Kansas. Kansas, yeah. He had something shit with a K. I don't fucking know. He had 19 sacks, and he had 10 in 91. He was a team captain. He was named MVP of the Aloha Bowl in 92 with six sacks.
Starting point is 00:22:19 Six sacks will do it, yeah. Yeah. His career stats for the school were sixth in total tackles fourth and fourth with sacks and fifth with total tackles for a loss so first a team all big eight again he also received all america honors from the college and pro football weekly and one second team all america honors from the associated press that year so doing well and it's time for the nfl draft big guy fast guy he's gonna get sacks in a bowl game he's gonna shit that's big time he's gonna get drafted and it's funny who ends up drafting him
Starting point is 00:22:58 too because i feel like you'll see the connection immediately when I tell you. First of all, 1993 draft, Jimmy, number one overall. Oh, was it a Seahawks quarterback? Was it Kramer? No. In 93? Was it Rocky Bishmail? No, you've guessed this person before as a number one draft pick. Is that right?
Starting point is 00:23:20 Yes. God damn it. I don't know. Drew Bledsoe. Oh, okay. I think you drafted, drives like a few episodes ago you did that number two overall another quarterback uh another quarterback is it kramer this time rick meyer oh close yeah yeah he was so bad garrison hurst for phoenix that's
Starting point is 00:23:39 he played until like last year yeah i think we finally i'm not even kidding i think he retired last year right he did sticker no i think that's edgar james right no 2020 i think he retired that's fucking crazy man um but the cardinals could never make it work with him though no obviously marvin jones number four let's see willie rofe number eight hall of famer there the bust jerome bett, number 10. Wow. So it's a decent draft this year, not too, too terrible. Number 25, OJ McDuffie with the Dolphins. And then number 26, right after that, San Francisco 49ers.
Starting point is 00:24:17 That's right. Take Dana Stubblefield, whose quarterback at that time was Steve Young. No shit. Yeah, you don't think that his little brother told him, this fucking guy ate my ass up in this. Because I'm sure he talked to him. How'd your bowl game go? I got sacked six times by one motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:24:33 This guy's a... I'll bet Steve called his brother, hey, guess who my new teammate is? I'm sure he said he's unblockable. And I wouldn't doubt if Steve went to his coaches then and said, hey, take an extra look at Stubblefield. He sacked my brother six times in a fucking game. Maybe take an extra look at him.
Starting point is 00:24:46 My brother can still smell his breath. Yeah. And then they looked at him. It's the end of the first round. So it's not like it's a high pressure pick. It's a, you know. So they ended up taking him. Why not?
Starting point is 00:24:55 I guarantee you that's probably how it was if I'm being honest here. Second round of that was Michael Strahan, by the way. People. Is that right? Missed out on Strahan. He didn't go to number 40. Yeah. A lot of defensive linemen went ahead of him guys like colman rudolph went ahead of him yeah that's that's what i mean that's the jets so jets you could have had michael stray hand
Starting point is 00:25:17 and you picked colman rudolph four picks out of him natron Means right after Michael Stringer. No shit. Yeah, remember him? He was badass. So 1993, he goes to San Francisco, which is a big change from Ohio and Kansas, let me say. Boy, he's lonely, though. He doesn't know anybody in San Francisco. Yeah. And he doesn't know how to... He has a hard time making friends, I guess. I don't know. Really?
Starting point is 00:25:46 Well, I guess he's a rookie, so i guess as a rookie you feel uncomfortable and i think maybe too he's so enormous that i don't know if he gets the same hazing as the other rookies get because he's just this giant scary man so i would think you know you might be a little lighter on him maybe or something so i don't know reper Percussions? Yeah. He lived by himself in Santa Clara, which is right by the complex. Yeah, it's right there. And he would just come by the complex even when there was nothing going on, no practice or anything, just to hang out with the security guards and the cleaning crew. Wow.
Starting point is 00:26:20 Because he didn't know anybody else. So he'd just go and hang out with the fucking guards and the crew and shit. This is a great time in this area also to buy property and hang out. Oh, my God. He's about to become a billionaire if he buys two houses. Just buy some stuff and hold it for just a little while. And he would just take a sauna or whirlpool, hang out with the cleaning crew, talk to the security guards, and go home. Let your property appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:26:44 That's it. That's what he was. What are you are you doing dana just bubbles going my property's appreciating i'm gonna sell this shit in like 2018 you have no fucking idea actually i'm gonna rent it out by then yeah i can rent out a closet for eight thousand dollars a month in 2020 i'm gonna airbnb it for five years and then i'm gonna sell it it. Yeah. That's right. Because some tech kids really want to work for startups. Me? I'm sitting in bubbles getting rich. That's what I'm doing. Sitting in bubbles being rich.
Starting point is 00:27:14 Owning shit. So, 93 San Francisco season. And this is Steve Young. This is Jerry Rice. This is fucking. Great times. Yeah. This is the squad right here, man. This is Jerry Rice. This is fucking, this is times. Yeah, this is,
Starting point is 00:27:25 this is a squad right here, man. This is a really solid team. They just came off of the eighties with their dynasty and they're coming back. They're on the upswing again here. They're 10 and six this year. They go to the playoffs. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:27:40 Destroy the giants in the playoffs. The giants had no reason, no fucking business in the playoffs that giants had no reason no fucking business in the playoffs that year they weren't good here it might have been the end of hostetler uh before he went to the raiders it was hostetler and i think this is sims's last year before he retires it's one of those years uh 44 to 3 a shit hammering my god that's an ugly game it was and then the conference championship game which this was a classic game actually the cowboys and the niners that was like i remember that being like oh this is going to be a good one they lose to the cowboys 38 21 they were unstoppable that
Starting point is 00:28:18 year don't worry about it fucking it's not a loss crushed buffalo and that was bad. But he played in all 16 games Dana did. Started 14 of them. Pretty good. And he gets 10 and a half sacks from the defensive line. That's a lot, man. That's good. He's the defensive rookie of the year. NFL all-rookie
Starting point is 00:28:40 team as well. He's doing well. He signed. His money's just appreciating while he's taking a fucking sauna yeah then he meets a young lady oh named kimberly karsten's uh karsten she is a marketing person and they move in together they get a townhouse together in uh mil uh milpita milpita milpitas how the fuck do you say that i don't know milpitas i don't know m-i-l-p-i-t-a-s milpitas milpitas milpata i don't know how the fuck you want to say it but maybe milpitas i guess that sounds like someone with uh that speaks in other languages. Their first language is trying to say my penis. Penis?
Starting point is 00:29:27 Penis? What? What? I want to touch, I want you to touch my penis. He's pointing at it with $20 in his hand. You're like, no,
Starting point is 00:29:36 no. Right here. He's trying to hand you 20 while pointing at it. Sir, I don't. No. Sir, no, I'm no.
Starting point is 00:29:44 Give your, give your milk penis to yourself. That's, that's not this Wendy's, I don't. No. Sir? No, I'm no. Give your milpitas to yourself. That's not this Wendy's. I'm sorry. This establishment, we don't do that here. This particular Wendy's is free of that sort of thing. Yeah. So he's playing for the 49ers, going to the playoffs.
Starting point is 00:30:00 Instead of beating up on Steve Young's little brother, he's on a team with Steve Young, actually. He found a girlfriend. He's defensive rookie of the year. Stunning. What could be better? Grace. Yeah. Grace. We could have done. Actually, you know what? We're going to say Grace is after the next season. We'll give him grace. Solid one still. It's good, but it gets better, though. I think I jumped the gun a little there. Yeah. 1994. The Niners go 13 and three. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:30:32 And they beat the Bears 44 15 in the first round of the playoffs. Jesus. That doesn't happen in the playoffs anymore. No, no. Does that tell you something? You know? Yeah. They used to have this is salary cap came into the NFL in 94 this year. So I believe this is the last year.
Starting point is 00:30:45 Salary cap stopped blowouts? Yeah, it stops dynasties. Yeah, absolutely. Does it stop blowouts, though, James? Yeah, it stops stacked teams from playing mediocre teams in the playoffs. Now it's two mediocre teams playing in the playoffs all the time. There's no more great teams. In the playoffs, there are bad teams in the playoffs, and it's still way too close.
Starting point is 00:31:04 That's what I mean. That's parity. That's the salary still way too close that's that's what i mean that's parody that's the salary cap that's parody that's what they want i think when they said i think yeah it's all bullshit is what i think that's possible too there's a lot of people that would agree with you yeah a little too many people to fucking manipulate that dance let's just put it that way maybe this is too much money we do a show, how worried are you that the guy, and how often does it not come off that when the song plays, the fucking lights don't lower? Yeah. And that's what they do every fucking day. Do you think that 22 guys and eight referees are all going to fucking get together and figure it out with the coaches?
Starting point is 00:31:37 Lower the lights together? No. No. It takes a Broadway play six months of rehearsal to be able to do that with half the amount of people. Yeah, but there's still mistakes with fucking Hamilton, and it's been going on for like six years exactly exactly but no back then you'd have even when you had like the broncos and niners in the super bowl and it was 55 10 that fucking niners team was stacked you know it was just that's the way it was the dallas team was stacked in the early 90s you can't really stack a team like that anymore so uh anyway this team though dallas this year
Starting point is 00:32:11 38 28 they beat them in the conference championship and then they go to the super bowl they play the chargers right with nature on means and uh all them and uh was it stan humphries their quarterback i think it may have been humphreys. I think it was Humphreys. It had to be. I think it was Stan Humphreys. They win the game 49-26. Steve Young throws a record, what does he throw, six touchdown passes or some crazy bullshit like that. That game he plays, or that year, 14 games, eight and a half sacks.
Starting point is 00:32:41 Super Bowl champion, goes to the Pro Bowl. That's grace yeah there you go that's great you gotta wait for the ring you gotta wait for the ring the next year i think i just put it in the wrong place i put it right i just put it in the wrong place so it's pretty good 95 okay they go 11 and 5 the diners um they lose to the packers 27 17 in the playoffs in the first round this is far coming into his own here. Right. That they were declining as Favre was coming up.
Starting point is 00:33:09 If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay. I am here for you. I'm Darcy Carden, and I'm inviting you to listen to my
Starting point is 00:33:25 new podcast, WikiHole, from SmartList Media. Discover the craziest rabbit holes on Wikipedia with me and my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane. And if you listen to my podcast, you'd learn that that's the science-y term for eardrum. We embark on a hyperlink roller coaster as we start out on a Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link, careening through trivia, oddities and unexpected connections until we collectively shout, how the hell did we get here? Follow WikiHole on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to WikiHole ad free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. You can listen to WikiHole ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. The wait is over. So far, you're not losing. The only thing you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that. Bing! The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything.
Starting point is 00:34:22 You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything. I can fix that. New cases. She wanted to fight me. Leave her alone. OK, so, um. This is not a so.
Starting point is 00:34:38 This is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin. His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am.
Starting point is 00:34:49 I would make a beeline for the door. The Emmy Award winning series returns. How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head. It's an all new season. It's streaming. You can say anything. Judy Justice. Only on Freebie.
Starting point is 00:35:04 judy justice only on freebie uh in the middle of that season though there's some there's some uh distraction for dana here um in october of 95 he is arrested here um well there's a call to police late Friday night from Kimberly Karsten, his 26-year-old girlfriend. She said that he threw several items around their residence. I don't know what that means, if he threw them at her or around or whatever, and then left. Okay? So that's not her only report to police. Okay. Two things. Current boyfriend threw shit around the
Starting point is 00:35:47 house and left at the same time i'd like to report that my ex-boyfriend stole my car oh my god so is volatile what a bad night with your current boyfriend is going acting a fool not hitting you but throwing stuff around the apartment dishes and shit yeah at the same time your ex-boyfriend's driving away in your car he's out there what do you do yeah she is a victim that is fucking wow that's terrible so uh then the officers are there taking her statement and as she's like yeah this motherfucker took my car my ex-boyfriend it belongs to me and dana and uh you know and he this dude just took it and dana's crazy anyway as they're speaking dana pulls into the driveway in the car she says is stolen by her ex-boyfriend so he got it back is he the hero no no he drove
Starting point is 00:36:40 away in that car too that's the thing he said hey it's a miracle it's like when the joke about you see an empty wheelchair and you go i hope it's a miracle it's one of those like so he came back he got the car back and he's ready to make up for breaking those dishes well what he did was he went out to buy new dishes that's what it is he came back with brand new china it's at two in the morning so he gets there the officers start to question him or start to talk what's up with the car because they need a separate story now was this car stolen whatever all this type of shit they start to talk to him he shoves one of them in the chest with his forearm oh you can't do that which is a not the right move i don't think it that's that state in the game um so in the end uh karsten the
Starting point is 00:37:28 girlfriend is arrested for investigation of making a false report to police about the stolen car oh shit yeah he kind of blew her her spot up she signed her had signed a report stating the ex-boyfriend had come over and stolen the car when it was dana driving it and he didn't take it at all no he didn't take it at all the guy wasn't even there poor bastard just made that shit up uh both dana and kim uh kim were booked into the santa clara county jail and released uh it did take three officers to take stubble feel into custody though because he was uh and he probably gave up because i would assume it might take more than that if he really wanted to put up a fight you know if you can if you can break through a double team of two offensive linemen like you can probably toss three four cops around pretty
Starting point is 00:38:15 easily i would think just normal size people you know that aren't 280 pounds of fucking couple couple dudes five five ten one ninety They're pretty easy to push around. If you weigh 3'10", and your whole job is... 6'3", yeah. And his pushing muscles are strong. You know what I mean? Yeah. He's aware of his center of gravity and how to throw it around. If he shoves you in the forearm, in the chest with his forearm,
Starting point is 00:38:41 he does that to offensive tackles to move them out of the way. That way way 300 pounds and really want to stop him and millions of dollars depends on it yeah he makes them flinch he makes them go oh shit he's coming oh so uh this is after midnight here which is uh nice and uh so yeah they take him in and um you know uh what is it uh suspicion of assaulting a police officer and whatever the fuck so anyway the next day though the team comes out and says that this has no effect on his ability to play the next day when they have a game yeah it's amazing they said here's one the the headline is stubblefield's arrest won't sideline him it's from november 1st 95 and it says they
Starting point is 00:39:27 said the san francisco 49ers said tuesday that dana stubblefield's arrest on charges of resisting arrest and assaulting a police officer won't result in any punishment by the team or the nfl no punishment at all carmen policy said quote he's the president of the 49ers. He said, we do not believe this incident violates any NFL policies. We know Dana to be a person of high character in addition to a valued member of our team. And then he turned in the mirror. He went, oh, my God, my whole head is silver now. What happened? Through the hair dye, my fucking head turned a bright shade of silver after I said those words.
Starting point is 00:40:04 Every bit of it just faded out and turns out he had an even worse week he's like you apparently with his stomach we're like oh no bad bastard oh the worst he apparently came down with a case of the flu on sunday or food poisoning or something and uh he was he could only play a few plays in the game because he had to keep going in the back to throw up and shit and oh no liquid released from all parts of his body oh my fucking bane of my existence so i envy anybody who can just schedule it it's fascinating i'm blown away by how the marvel of how well your body operates oh look at you in your secure butthole your butthole's like fort knox look at it it's like just man people are like
Starting point is 00:40:55 bro do you want to do you want to go down to the beach like in two weeks and i'm like i don't know i don't know if i can tell you what it sounds good now i'll let you know about an hour before I'm supposed to go if it's going to be possible. What kind of facilities they have down there. About an hour before we leave. If I have shit in the last 12 hours, we'll go. But if not, no fucking way. But I've seen you like, we're going, they're like, hey, five minutes and we have to go on stage. And you're like, I'm going to go shit first real quick.
Starting point is 00:41:23 And I'm like, we got five minutes, Jimmymy you better i gotta try you better fire that missile pretty fucking quick i gotta do a little just just to tighten up i gotta no prepping the launch pad for that though you gotta just fucking ten nine eight seven six three fucking four three two one boom let's do this shit he's gonna walk up my abs real quick and see if i'm good hold on a second yeah that's uh let me do three crunches and see if i can i'm gonna sit on the toilet and cough if i if nothing happens we're good we're good to go so uh this is what they were you would have said after the game yeah quote coaches were complaining because i was missing plays i know the feelings i had to shit so bad. You don't understand. Would you rather have me out there with shit streaming down the back of my uniform?
Starting point is 00:42:09 You know how many times I've been asked, were you at that thing? No, I was not. I missed it. Not at all. I was messing up on blitzes, which I never do. When I got arrested, everything just blew up. I don't know what else could have went wrong that weekend. That's no shit.
Starting point is 00:42:27 Then his family found out about it. He said, and he said it was, you know, he was upset about that. He said, quote, it was a very, very long weekend. I got arrested. I got sick. A week before that, my girlfriend, she had lost the baby. We had lost the baby a couple weeks before I got arrested. It was like boom, boom, boom.
Starting point is 00:42:48 What else negative could happen? There you go. That explains everything. And they need to break up. This is never going to get better. They've chosen, instead of going to each other for comfort, they've chosen to apparently fight each other. And I don't know where the ex-boyfriend stealing the car fits into this i don't know maybe she maybe he left in her head this is what i got in my head okay he left so she's mad at him okay she's also still mad at
Starting point is 00:43:17 her ex-boyfriend so she's like fuck it two birds yep you know like data for what he just did now but then i'll just say the ex-boyfriend stole that fucking car and then he'll at least fuck his night up you know they'll at least go over and talk to him two birds one shotgun it's not even a stone she's just blasting everybody so he said that uh quote i knew something was going to happen to where i just blew up and did something i was going to regret everybody knew when i came into the locker room, I wasn't myself. Even coach George Seifert came up to me. He pulled me aside and said, is everything all right?
Starting point is 00:43:52 He said, don't isolate yourself from the ones who are trying to help you. He said, we're all human and everybody makes mistakes. We've just got to overcome those mistakes and continue. And then he said, you see this fucking head right here? Yeah, i've never had anything but this if you had like you know how jerry west is the nba logo yeah if you had a silver-haired middle-aged white man like outline logo it's george seaford's head yeah it's george seaford's head with that nose it's him he is the guy like he's the face of it you know it's amazing
Starting point is 00:44:22 absolutely as much as vince mcmahon and dana white are the actions of it he's the face of it. You know, it's amazing. As much as Vince McMahon and Dana White are the actions of it, he's the face of it. It's fucking beautiful. So, anyway, he goes to the Pro Bowl that year. So, regardless of his issues, he still goes to the Pro Bowl. Not too terrible. His relationship, too, is all better now with Kim. They've healed? It actually says Stubblefield, although he's living by himself, he and Karsten still see each other.
Starting point is 00:44:49 So healed up, he said. They have sex. She drops by the complex at noon during the week and breaks bread with the man who breaks up offensive plays on Sundays. That's the article. Jesus Christ. That is terrible. What you mean is they have a nooner and he goes back to article. Jesus Christ. That is terrible. What you mean is they have a nooner and he goes back to work. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:45:08 What we mean is we knocked him down a little. We're going to fluff this bad boy back up again. Let's, by the way, get his cock while we're fluffing the story. Fluff his cock too. We want him to feel good. Then a quote from Dana. Quote, she brings lunch to me every day. We've been seeing each other
Starting point is 00:45:24 a lot and smoothing things over between us everything's been great so far we're just having fun we're we just forget about the past okay that's yeah that's gonna work out well right in other words he's good now fuck it is he ever he is so fucking good now um even coach George Seifert said that Stubblefield, different guy now, said he smoothed out the rough edges and is back in form as good as any guy on the team, and he's a great player. They said they could, listen to this line, the coaches had realized something was wrong when this student of the game was doing poorly on his pop quizzes
Starting point is 00:46:03 during the course of games. Blitz or stay home., stunt or play two gap. Oh, boy. Seifert said, basically, he's been the type of guy that other people would ask, what do I do? He would know everybody else's assignment. And all of a sudden, when he was making errors, it was about that time, and you just put two and two together. I think it distracted him a little bit, but he's back to his old self again. All right.
Starting point is 00:46:29 Kicking ass. He plays in every game, 16 games, four and a half sacks from that year. So numbers definitely declining. But one of the games, he was shitting the entire game. So you have to take that out. Yeah. As a possibility. I feel awful about that. September 11th 1996
Starting point is 00:46:46 apparently uh he and kim and in addition to their reconciling she got pregnant again and this time they have a baby oh on september 11th no no no they have a baby 17 days earlier so do the math of whatever the july 20 something so july 24th or 5th if it's 31 day i don't fucking know whatever it doesn't matter there's definitely 31 31 so september 11th 1996 though they're in domestic bliss obviously think about it 17 day old baby you're nesting you're doing all that your kid's not even a month old. We got three weeks of this thing. I'm doing that thing where I'm staring and making sure they're breathing every two seconds. Hyperfocus on the chest. Never relaxing like we've talked about.
Starting point is 00:47:33 So apparently it's 2.18 a.m. Oh, God. Here. And Los Altos police respond to Stubblefield's home twice in the span of less than two hours let's talk about why what yeah they first respond to his home at 2 18 a.m after a 911 call was placed and dispatchers could only hear a woman's voice and a baby crying oh boy if it's two two in the morning and you're a 911 dispatcher and you hear a woman's voice in the background and a baby crying you send people there immediately there's a problem
Starting point is 00:48:09 yeah so uh after a while the dispatcher stayed on the line while it was the whole time it was live after a while the dispatcher hears a loud argument between a man and a woman oh god can you imagine being so they send helpless ass dispatcher yeah so they well they they are they have one thing they can do one bit of recourse and that's they send officers to the house you can do that you can do that most people can't do that most people can't be like i'll send i'll dispatch cops right to their home but as like a 911 dispatcher hearing the the awful happen right now terrible yeah there's no cops there yet and you get and you just got to be like pressing buttons go go go well every one of
Starting point is 00:48:51 those situations when someone calls and someone's dying or someone's yeah you have to fuck you're a lot they say stay on the line so they're hearing this shit play out live action every day in front of them that's terrible someone that if you're like with somebody you know your spouse or something who's a fucking 911 dispatcher like when they get home from work give them a half hour to just let them let them like relax for a half hour let them like watch either that or they're just ready to do fucking anything because they've got to have nerves of just solid rock either way at the end of the day give them a half hour i feel like otherwise eventually they're going to snap because there's no way you can let
Starting point is 00:49:30 that shit can not you think you you think you've heard a blood curdling scream you haven't no they have that's crazy so when officers get to the house uh stubblefield and his girlfriend kim here both deny calling 9-1-1 which someone called 9-1-1 sorry curious ass baby i mean yeah the baby's 17 days old that'd be amazing so stubblefield said the argument was over the baby 17 day old daughter stubblefield told police he'd been drinking earlier in the evening and he pushed his girlfriend during the argument oh you can't say that out loud oh yeah the woman had just had my kid 17 days ago and it's still like recovery i shoved her because you know i was pissed off about something she's mangled down there and i think pushing her around is a good idea yeah that's probably good so obviously the police put him in handcuffs and took him away uh no they
Starting point is 00:50:22 didn't actually at all what um no no remember oj this is a very oj-esque situation remember the oj with nicole and they were like i'm sure everything's fine here on that new year's eve one of these figure it out she told police that uh she didn't feel threatened by dana and um you know and so she said i want him to be able to stay here because i don't feel threatened by him so you him. So let's put him back in the situation. So the police do take his handguns, though, I guess, because whatever. They take three handguns, a.44 caliber Magnum, Smith & Wesson, and some other gun, and a bunch of ammunition as well. Problem solved, right?
Starting point is 00:51:03 Done, yeah. They drive away.ana and kim are waving holding the baby as they leave you can say bye thanks yeah like they just came over for cookies it's a nice cold open to their tv show of the stubble fields it really is like waving in the driveway what a silly mistake our baby's so smart he called nine she called 9-1-1 in the middle of the night wow talk about talk about you needing them fucking 2 a.m. feeding. She needed it so bad, she called 911 about it. Goddamn.
Starting point is 00:51:31 Probably saved at least two lives. So everything's all good. I'm sure they'll be quiet the rest of the night. Everyone's going to go to bed. Quiet for the baby. You don't want to wake the baby. Yeah, we won't talk about this anymore. We'll deal with it in the morning let's go to bed angry well then at 3 54 a.m a second 9-1-1 call is
Starting point is 00:51:50 placed from the home again nobody talks it's just nobody's saying a word and you're screaming hear the background just an off the hook phone at 9-1-1 god damn it so the same cop comes back really okay the same cop so this this cop absolutely knows yeah what's been going on here 45 minutes ago so the girlfriend here kim tells police that he had gone to sleep and then woke up so dana fell asleep and then woke up when the baby began to fuss which um you know that happens when you have a newborn like expect to be woken up a lot period she's three weeks old and she just witnessed probably some horrible shit yeah it's just no matter what fall back asleep you can't you can't get mad at a baby
Starting point is 00:52:36 waking up in the middle of the night when it's you have a newborn and uh the baby was fussing and uh she was feeding breastfeeding the child at the time. So 4 a.m. breastfeeding. You don't get anything more pure than this. This is like life-giving. So at that point, she said that she was standing next to the bed when she bent down to pick the baby back up. Because she had put the baby down and then came over to pick her back up. When she bent back down to pick the baby up, Dana kicked her in the mouth. What?
Starting point is 00:53:11 Kicked her in the mouth. While he was laying down or standing up? While she was bending over to pick the baby up. Yeah. From the bed, he kicked her in the mouth. Okay. So, why did he kick her in the mouth? That's a good question.
Starting point is 00:53:27 He said that he became upset when his girlfriend tried to feed the baby because, and I quote, this is from a police report directly from his mouth, she didn't need to be fed at that time of the morning. She's 17 days old. She needs to be fed whenever she needs all the time yeah just whenever it comes up you just oh here you go what are you supposed what are you gonna reason with them you don't need that much food right now we're doing a 10-hour fasting thing so you have a window of what they're starving children in africa fuck man i was gonna this kid's never gonna get keto right either ever it's like i tried with this fucking kid but not listening so he thinks that you can just put him on a breakfast lunch and dinner and that's it i guess i mean that's fucking wild so he admits this to the police he told the officer that he became upset because of that and said, she didn't need to be feeding the kid at that time of morning.
Starting point is 00:54:27 I kicked her. Yeah. He told police he kicked her in the mouth to keep her away from the baby so she wouldn't pick the baby up to feed the baby because it was crying at 4 o'clock in the morning. Or she was crying, I should say. So the officer could not determine if the woman's lip was swollen. He said, I don't know what her lips are like normally, so I can't tell. This is California. Who knows what she's injecting in those?
Starting point is 00:54:54 That's the other thing. How full of poisons? How many toxins do you have pumped into your face, first of all, before I determine swelling? How many CCs do they usually put in your face first of all before i determine swelling usually put in your face but no this is serious the cop did say quote i could see that her lip was not cut so there was that so anyway um so obviously at this point this is the second time the cop's been there immediately says i kicked her in the face to keep her away from the baby as the words are still hanging in the air both both your hands are in cuffs, correct? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:27 Like, obviously, no. You should be. No. No, they don't arrest him. Two times he's admitted that he's put hands, for one reason or another, hit her. Yeah. Made contact with her. One was kicked her in the face, Jimmy.
Starting point is 00:55:42 Right. That's awful. While the baby was right there, he agreed to leave the residence for the remainder of the day. I'll be back tomorrow. I'll go cool off. Yeah. They were given domestic violence referral sheets, according to the police report. He left in a taxi because his blood alcohol level was.065, which is below the legal limit, but they didn't want him driving.
Starting point is 00:56:05 They didn't want to be responsible for putting him in a car. You know, like, they didn't, like, they didn't mind being responsible for leaving him in a house to commit violence, though, that was fine. After he already hit her. So, this is fucking crazy.
Starting point is 00:56:18 He was never arrested, though. That is goddamn wild. Wow. Stubblefield's girlfriend got them to not arrest him. Kim got the cops to not take him in because she told the police that she did not want him arrested for battery because she feared his employers at the time. The 49ers would find out and it would, quote, damage his public reputation. Oh, boy. So there you go.
Starting point is 00:56:48 Try that shit at home everybody man or a woman say i kicked him slash her in the face yeah because i because quote the baby didn't need to be fed right then and see how quickly you're back in the back of a fucking squad car like that it's wow um you got to be real rich to pull that shit off and famous and when when you're when you're when your job requires like you can be fired for that like as a football player as not not as a post office employee or or a home depot employee they generally don't look at that no a lot of your hire they keep you there's a lot of places that'll fire you for really criminal activity for domestic violence really yeah that's one of the ones that you really yeah oh yeah some a lot of corporations and shit i didn't know that it's oh yeah yeah especially if it's in the newspaper
Starting point is 00:57:33 like this that'd be bad it's a pretty big deal but the niners they shrug it off and go plow on with the season and they don't give a fuck about it. So in San Francisco here, because it didn't make any publicity at the time, it didn't come out until years later. Wow. And when civil court documents were revealed and police reports came out and people were like, holy shit. So this is a pattern you'll see here. 1996 with the Niners. They go 12 and four. And 12 and four, they go to the wild card round against the playoffs or against the
Starting point is 00:58:06 playoffs yeah in the playoffs against the eagles philly here and they shut them out 14 nothing god damn no is that right no fucking scoring good lord um then the next year here they beat green or the next week they beat green bay 35 to 14 i'm sorry green bay beats them 35 to 14 that was still in the last year and uh green bay goes on to win the super bowl that year and beat the patriots so there's that he plays in 15 games this year has one sack oh no one sack so figured out how to play him yeah what you do is you have him have domestic problems where the cops come and don't arrest him for some reason and then he's distracted and doesn't play well i don't know what the fuck is going on here but
Starting point is 00:58:50 or or i mean the play scheme may be dropping him back into coverage uh there's a lot of different reasons for it but they're not doing zone with his fucking ass he's only six two so you send him yeah he's he's either run D or being sent or some shit. So 97 San Francisco. They go 13 and three again. Look at that. They get Mariucci in there and go. They were good for so long.
Starting point is 00:59:14 Right. This is going on 20 years for. Well, almost 20 years. Late 70s. They were terrible. So anyway. So strong record. They're on the comeback here and they beat the Vikings 38-22 in the divisional round of the playoffs.
Starting point is 00:59:28 They go to the Packers in the championship game and lose 23-10 to Green Bay, and Green Bay lost to Denver that year. So there you go. Jimmy was very happy. This is a big deal. Thrilling moment for Jimmy. That was a fun Super Bowl, too. That was a good Super Bowl. The next year wasn't so fun i mean it was great for broncos fans but yeah it was just a boring blow out of
Starting point is 00:59:51 atlanta just so ugly this year you had like two gunslinging quarterbacks yeah elway and farve like that's farve's you know farve's still in the prime of his career it's a big deal farve never won a super bowl again after that no elway versusway versus Chris Chandler, not as good. It's just not the same kind of matchup. Even with Jamal Anderson in the backfield, it's still not a good matchup. Just because he does a, quote, dance when he wins a touchdown, or when he wins it when he gets a touchdown,
Starting point is 01:00:19 doesn't really, yeah, it's still pretty boring. Yeah. So this year, though though some distractions again uh october 16th 1997 dana is arrested again he is this time it's of on suspicion of drunk driving after he spotted speeding along the center divider on the 101 by the california highway patrol he's in the center median what's in the center of speeding along the center divider speeding too going too fast so uh just passing everybody in there yeah he's pulled over clearly uh it's he's got a 1997 mercedes they he also veered into the
Starting point is 01:00:58 emergency lane of the southbound one so he actually like went it's fucking crazy what he like crossed oh my god so he's going nuts here that's reckless so they said he showed quote objective symptoms of alcohol intoxication number one that fucking driving move i think is one that's that's a bit scary then they said slurred speech red eyes and the odor of alcohol on his breath and he's hammered doing that all of these sound not great so the officer then said that he failed a series of field sobriety tests as well now his fiancee is in the car she's sober so they released the car to her she drives off he's booked wasn't she driving in the first floor that's my question he doesn't seem like a type of guy who's like you just drive he seems like i'm driving but i'll take the keys and
Starting point is 01:01:51 then he kicks you in the face like jesus sorry as soon as he like starts to get over onto that fast lane shoulder don't you go dude i'm sober why don't i just drive what oh shit and i'm not trying to make light of this i'm trying to say that this guy's the type of guy who seems pretty domineering. Yeah. If he's trying to control when a newborn baby's hungry, that's a lot of control that a person needs to have, I feel like. That's too much. So they book him into jail, San Mateo County Jail. And later on, he's released when he was deemed sober again, when they decided he was sober.
Starting point is 01:02:28 They deemed him sober and an awful driver, and they let him go. He's given a blood test, which the results are expected in a few weeks. And I never heard another thing about it again. What? I couldn't find more about it. I don't know if he ever had to do i don't know what the i don't think they just fucking dropped it maybe no penalty or anything jesus i feel like if they don't arrest him for kicking his girlfriend in the face in front of their newborn that
Starting point is 01:02:53 he could probably get away with being a little tipsy behind the wheel you know and wouldn't you think so harm no foul yeah wouldn't you think so if you were him too uh yeah if you're that guy you've gotta just assume you can do whatever you want but this is also post oj he should know better when the shit was going on in 96 that was right like directly after oj in the state of california right that's the other thing this is the same road from it it's what the fuck are we talking about man it's crazy like i don't know how they're not like oh boy yeah football players That's the other thing. This is the same state. Just up the road from it. It's what the fuck are we talking about, man? It's crazy.
Starting point is 01:03:32 Like, I don't know how they're not like, oh, boy, football players smacked his wife around or touched his wife at all. I'm at least taking him in for the night. This isn't going to be on me. You know, if we find her head in the fucking garden, this isn't on me. It's going to be on somebody else. So he's taken in. Apparently this arrest just made him stronger from what it seemed like he plays in all 16 games this year has 15 sacks there you go fucking dominates he is an all pro pro bowler uh he is fifth in mvp voting mvp voting as a defensive tackle and he is the most
Starting point is 01:04:02 important player in the league and he is the defensive player of the year in the entire league. So a bad motherfucker is what that says. And lucky him just happened to be the last year of his contract, too. What a lucky guy, isn't he? He is about to get so paid. And February 24th, 1998, he's sitting with the general manager of the washington redskins yeah and they're telling him how uh how valuable he is yeah and the gm right yeah the commanders here uh the gm charlie casserly said quote well he signed with the redskins not the
Starting point is 01:04:42 commanders yeah but the redskins are the Commanders now. Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying that would be like if, you know, saying Hulk Hogan was the WWE champion. He was the WWF champion when he was doing it, but this is now. You're right. That's then. That's all I was saying. I don't give a shit what they call themselves.
Starting point is 01:04:58 I don't care. My dumb brain was like, does he even know that is a thing? Yeah, I know. They can call themselves the Taint Ticklers. I'll call them that if they want to call themselves that. Whatever they want. Whatever you want to be called. It was called this for a very long time.
Starting point is 01:05:12 At this point, this is, yeah, for like 100 years. So GM Charlie Casserly said, quote, Dana, this isn't real complicated. If you're with us the last two years years we win the division and win a couple playoff games and then they said we have an offer for you a six-year 36 million dollar contract i'll be i'll sign that yeah that sounds terrific so he uh he signed it and he said quote they can key off some of the things i have to offer for this team, being in the NFC championship game three years out of five, winning the Super Bowl. These are things they want me to bring to the team. So winning experience is what they want.
Starting point is 01:05:53 He's entrusted with that. He's a winner. Yeah. Don't you get it on your shoulders and let's go. That's right. So they hope that he does more uh than just motivate his teammates it says here they want him to uh they said the last two years they were ranked 30th against the run in 96 and 28th against the run in the last season so they need run defense is what it is here um so uh
Starting point is 01:06:18 he said they're playing against the fucking eagles the giants and the cowboys and all of them have that's their fucking first you you know what I mean? They have great running backs. That's what you've got to be fending against. So it's not their fault for being that bad. It's just you're playing the best at it. You were still dealing with Dallas in that offensive line. And then at Smith, you were dealing with the Giants.
Starting point is 01:06:38 Six games a year. Trying to have running backs. Yeah. Yeah. So here he also, the GM, says, quote, I get a lot of input when I go to the mall or an NBA Wizards game, and basically everybody told me the same thing. Get a defensive lineman. Dana is being very modest.
Starting point is 01:06:54 He will be in the center of attention, and he will. This is in italics in the paper, so I'm emphasizing here. He will help the guys around him play better. He will help the rest of the football team play better he will wow or else yeah god damn that's a lot here um of course stubblefield's deal includes a voidable and very large balloon last year um so really it's about 28.5 is what they're saying because there's no way they're going to keep him for that last year of the contract, they're saying. But it also includes an $8 million signing bonus, so not too shabby here.
Starting point is 01:07:32 John Randall had just signed a $10 million signing bonus deal. Boy, was he good. He was really good, yeah. I don't know why Dana wouldn't – it seems like Dana's agent should have said, well, I'm the defensive player of the year and we play the same position. So that means at this moment I am better than him. So I'm making a dollar more than that guy. One dollar is all I'm asking.
Starting point is 01:07:53 That's it. I'm at least making a buck more than him. If I'm better than him, I'm making more than him. Fuck you. And he doesn't do that, though. He takes it easy here. doesn't do that though he he takes it easy here um stubblefield says that uh you know he said that the niners didn't really try to resign him that much because they knew he was going to be expensive and um he's ready to go now so 98 he's playing for washington miserable washington was miserable
Starting point is 01:08:20 back then yeah um they go six and ten this year this is the trent green gus ferrat quarterback oh washington yeah this is uh not this is ugly they've got champ bailey on defense right they have him i don't think they had him quite not yet i think i want to say like 99 2000 2001 maybe champ bailey around then this is This is like when Charles Woodson came in. Yeah, you're right, because Portis didn't get drafted by Denver until like 2002 or 2003. Yeah. And that was the trade, so you might be right. Yeah, I think it's in that era.
Starting point is 01:08:53 But yeah, this was a miserable team. Gus Farratt. Gus Farratt's the guy who was such an idiot, he fucking headbutted the wall in celebration and hurt himself and missed games. Remember that? Yeah. Fucking moron. Jesus Christ, games. Remember that? Yeah. Fucking moron. Jesus Christ, man.
Starting point is 01:09:08 So that's terrible. So he's signed with the Redskins. What can be better except that he gets hurt here? He's misses. He gets hurt. Arthroscopic surgery on his knee. Expected to miss four games. And yeah, bad stuff there.
Starting point is 01:09:23 So you don't want to give a guy a ton of money and then he sits out down with a knee problem only plays in seven games this year fuck one and a half sacks oh no big fat bank account though so yeah doing okay for dana yeah he's doing fine taylor swift is soaring high her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans. She's broken billboard records and made Grammys history, not to mention becoming a billionaire in the process. But along the way, Taylor has had to wage war, first by taking on a very powerful, very famous manager, Scooter Braun, and then by going up against the biggest live events company, Ticketmaster. Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery's show, Business Wars.
Starting point is 01:10:07 We go deep into some of the biggest corporate rivalries of all time. And in our latest season, Taylor Swift will shake up not only the music business, but Hollywood and the NFL. Follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. 1999, the Redskins. They go from 6-10 to 10-6. Oh,
Starting point is 01:10:32 well, that's a nice improvement. Turning it all around. Look at that. They go all the way to the playoffs. They win a playoff game. Did they really? Of course, they beat the Lions, who obviously can't win a playoff game. They're never going to win a playoff game, obviously. So, yeah, 27-13, they beat the Lions.
Starting point is 01:10:49 They're just happy to be here. Yeah, they're like, we made the playoffs, everybody. Sweet. Everybody buy your Barry Sanders jersey and let's get excited. So then they go to, and I remember this game, actually. They go to the divisional round. They lose to Tampa Bay 14-13. Ouch. 14 to 13 remember that one 14 13 that was a boring ass game i remember uh he plays in all 16 games he only has three sacks but from what i understand
Starting point is 01:11:16 his main job in washington is be the run stopper that's what they want out of him they're not really giving a shit about the sack numbers as much. Just clog the line. Yeah. Yeah. You'd like some, but I mean, not the most. It's not that necessary. So in 16 games, three sacks. Anyway, 2000 here, he plays for Washington again. On September 22, 2000, beginning of the year, he gets in an argument with his girlfriend, still his wife now, I apologize, apologize kim kim is now his wife she stayed with him through all this shit somehow kim stubblefield kim stubblefield uh they get into an argument about luggage yeah i don't know any more about
Starting point is 01:11:59 it other than it's an argument about luggage awesome that leads to police being called to the premises. Now, I want to go over what possible fucking problems. Is it the brand? Is it the wheels? Is it? Something's wrong with the luggage. Did you break the zipper? Did you fuck the zipper up?
Starting point is 01:12:20 It's caught in the thing now. I can't get it out of the nylon. Yeah. Did you not? Yeah. Did you? Why is your shit still packed in the suitcase from the last trip when i gotta take this one on this one is why are there condoms in this one maybe your lotion exploded in here and you never cleaned it
Starting point is 01:12:36 up one of those and it opened all of these condoms god damn it it's all over now all the condoms are ruined too they're covered in all this lotion god damn it and it even filled a few of them wait a second i can't find the empty lotion bottle honey i don't know what it disintegrated in midair i think there's lotion everywhere but no bottle i don't know where it is everywhere but no bottle i don't know where it is they said to put it in plastic not rubber why did you do that geez honey i don't know what's going on so that's got to be what it is right they can say it's over luggage all they want but it's over luggage that's full of used condoms it has to be if that's the fucking case it has to be just huge condoms and pocket pussies
Starting point is 01:13:26 and he's like why do you need a pocket pussy who are you hanging out with this is so weird so i don't know what's going on here but that's like people overheard the argument about luggage like it was about luggage like it's no bitch samsonite's the best i don't i've never been there's been huge advancements to me's are really nice yeah like it's expensive though too yeah he's like i understand but i'm a millionaire they i'm just perplexed because like we travel a lot yeah and before you know we moved sarah used to travel all the time with me and stuff so we'd be on the road with suitcase plenty to argue about out there sure luggage never came up once no i gotta be honest with you like
Starting point is 01:14:05 ever unless it's unless it's arguing with american about where yours is uh then it's not there's no luggage to to argue about if the if 9-1-1 was called because he was pummeling some fucking american airlines phone agent about luggage i'd go oh this makes perfect sense. I understand. And I would hope that the cops would give him a pass on that. Let him go. I want to know who overheard it, and I want to know what the words were. What was the beef? I don't know what it is, but the police show up, and there's no signs of physical injury on Kim. And she declined medical treatment and didn't want to talk about it, apparently.
Starting point is 01:14:46 Just had no interest in it. But cops were called. And maybe they're thinking, this isn't the first time here. So whatever. They end up arresting him anyway. This is in Virginia, not California, by the way. Okay. Because he's playing with D.C. here.
Starting point is 01:15:01 He's playing with Washington. So he's arrested on charges of assault regardless. Because were called for it so hands were on her uh well he insists no he says he did not hit her calling what happened quote just one of those normal arguments you get in with your wife normal which is fine if you didn't have a history of kicking this particular woman in the face that would be perfectly okay at that point um he's normal so he goes nobody got hurt nobody was drinking nobody was doing anything out of the ordinary so uh yeah he was taken in he's released on 2500 bucks bail and told not to have any contact with his wife for 48 hours which i'm sure he i'm positive he didn't listen to i would bet money on that i'm sure um he said that uh he didn't realize that if the cops were called that that quote i'd have to be taken down so there you go uh he would not say why he and his wife were arguing about
Starting point is 01:15:59 luggage which i'm very upset about it's because it doesn't sound as uh worthy of an argument when you say yeah hard bags are better than soft bags it's like you don't understand it was about other stuff but the luggage you know sometimes like one thing it's not really about breakfast but you yell about breakfast you know what i'm saying it's not about how runny these eggs are but it sure did kick it off damn it it made me think of something else it has to be something about a very small detail that just sounds really stupid to say out loud it has to be but dana goes on to say it was obvious that the argument wasn't that bad because our two kids were sleeping right down the hall and they never woke up okay so he then they're used to this shit dana i was gonna say they might
Starting point is 01:16:49 just be used to yelling and seasoned and never woke up meaning they didn't come out but you don't know if they were like close your eyes tighter mom and dad are fighting again like that's some shit kids do yeah have you ever done that fuck yeah oh fuck yeah if i close my eyes tighter i can sleep way faster so uh he said that he he's gone to his older teammates for guidance and advice older teammates guys the oldest on the team i know he's only 26 27 so he's like he went to the veterans for their advice and deon sand Sanders gave him some advice. Oh, boy. Don't listen to him. Master of the domestic situation here, Deion Sanders.
Starting point is 01:17:30 He says, quote, it's between him and his family. They'll be holding hands and hugging and kissing soon. Oh, boy. That's not a good way to blow off. No. That's Deion encouraging the domestic violence cycle what the fuck that's interesting don't worry there's a there's a honeymoon phase coming right around the corner i would respect him more if dion said i told him he needs to break up with that woman because those
Starting point is 01:17:57 two motherfuckers are just not good for each other and i said you motherfuckers have been how many times the cops have called to your house dana this shit shit ain't good for you. Break up with her. Find yourself a different girl. It's not your fault. It's not her fault. But guess what? Some people don't fucking mix. Even if he said that, I'd respect that more.
Starting point is 01:18:13 Not just, they'll be holding hands and hugging and kissing soon. Jesus. It's like he hasn't ever been through a course on this shit. He's been through plenty, I'm sure. A couple, I think. He's had a couple of problems so the team reaction to this is that stubble stubblefield will not be disciplined at all that's the team uh norv turner the coach said it's something dana has to work out it's a family matter at home it's not a team issue yeah uh yeah the nfl spokesman declined to comment, but instead cited the league's personal conduct policy, which says a player arrested or charged with a crime involving violence or the threat of violence must be evaluated by professional experts.
Starting point is 01:18:56 There was no like automatic suspension then. And if the court determines a player violated the law, he faces a finer suspension without pay. So we're going to ignore it until the court's sorted out and then we have to deal with it we'll right we'll push it on until our hand is forced no shit well uh november of 2000 yeah that charge of assault is dropped here prosecutors abandoned the charge less than an hour before the trial was to start wow so she wasn't going to testify against him so that was that's what that sounds like yeah didn't really have anything to go on and she's married so she doesn't have to yeah she doesn't have to she
Starting point is 01:19:34 doesn't want to anyway so um she said or his lawyer uh peter greenspun said simply a crime was not committed kim and danis doublefield are pleased and now that this case is concluded. So done. 2,000 Redskins here. They go 8-8. Oh, boy. He plays in 15 games, has two and a half sacks. So not good.
Starting point is 01:19:58 So a few years earlier than expected, in March of 2001, he is released by Washington. Released. After only three seasons out of the six-year deal. So, yeah, those payments escalated. Every year he gets paid more and more. Cut him on the cheap side. Cut him on the cheap side.
Starting point is 01:20:14 So April of 2001, the Niners want Dana back. Is that right? Absolutely. He's talking about it. They said they're interested in him. They said this article says they can't offer him much more than a backloaded contract playing the veteran minimum of $477,000 plus a signing bonus because of the salary cap. So they said he probably can't get much, but they clear some shit out, cut some guys, and sign him to a six-year deal. Holy shit.
Starting point is 01:20:45 So, yeah, they sign him up pretty good here. That's not bad. For a guy who's... That's how you can spread his bonus over the years. Yeah, yeah. The way the cap works in the NFL, or at least the way it worked back then, you'd sign a guy to a six-year deal
Starting point is 01:20:59 and you'd give him, say, $20 million. Just say 10 is a round number because it's an easier number to divide and shit. So $10 million up front front six-year deal so now rather than fucking having that 10 million dollars hit you all on that first year salary cap like it would giving you you know less flexibility to sign other people that's spread throughout the life of the contract so it would you know there you go so it'd be less than two million2 million a year on the cap. So that's how they do it. That's how you would hide the bonuses then.
Starting point is 01:21:29 And then you can cut a guy and only their bonus will count against the contract, against the cap later. So 2001, San Francisco, Steve Mariucci coaching. They go 12-4. So good team. Somehow they're in the wild card game at 12-4. So, other people must have been cooking that year. What division are they? Oh, are they with the Cardinals?
Starting point is 01:21:54 Yeah, back then, yeah. Yeah, this is the Cardinals. No, no, Cardinals are in the East still back then. Oh, in 2000? When did that change? Right after that, pretty soon after that, I think. think so it's not seahawks and cardinals no seahawks no seahawks are an afc team still at this point oh wow seahawks are in the afc west with denver right kansas city and oakland and shit shit this is san francisco yeah this is uh
Starting point is 01:22:18 the rams are in this division okay this is still that and uh, I think. They might have changed it right around here, so not positive. But either way, yeah, NFC West, there we go. They lose in the wild card game 25-15 to Green Bay. Fucking Favre would pull things out of his ass, and then he would take a picture of it and show it to a reporter. That was out of the zone. this came out of my ass so 16 games he plays he gets four sacks that year yeah and uh 2002 san francisco 10 and 6 again uh this year they again this was one of the most frustrating games i've ever watched in my entire life. They beat the Giants 39-38, and the Giants gave them the game.
Starting point is 01:23:09 They couldn't have given it to them. I'm still angry about it. Put it that way. I've never been. I had to go for a walk after the game. I had to walk around for a while. I was so mad. Then they lose to Tampa that year because Tampa went on to kick some ass here.
Starting point is 01:23:26 They lose 31-6 to Tampa that year, which is a lot of points for Tampa. They weren't scoring that that much. That is an ugly beating. That's a whooping. Now, of course, this is the Jeff Garcia Niners, a different Niners team. So, December of 2002, during that, though, i'm going to show you how you got to roll your chair over for this because you're not going to be able to see it otherwise it's a newspaper thing look at this oh wow is that dana that is dana doing ballet he's dirty dancing who's that gal that is just the instructor amazing um she is let's find out uh ilana goldman
Starting point is 01:24:09 is her name as a matter of fact this is for you dancing with the stars yeah this is where they had a fucking in san francisco an all-star night at the nutcracker. Oh. So they have him in it. They're casting celebrities in the Nutcracker? Yeah, they put him in tights. He's in the fucking Nutcracker. It's the 16th year. It's the 16th year that local pro athletes have performed alongside professional dancers. How terrible has that got to be?
Starting point is 01:24:45 Wow. That's probably kind of hilarious, though. Well, some of these guys actually take ballet to make their, like Jerry Rice is doing. More flexible, more better balance. Herschel Walker was famous for it. A lot of guys did it. I think Chris Carter did it, too. Possibly.
Starting point is 01:24:59 Those are all offensive players who are trying to stay in bounds and shit. It's really your defense. This guy's a bull rush kind of a guy it's a weird he doesn't need to he doesn't he's gonna act like he's gonna bull rush and then tiptoe and pirouette around the left tackle and up see that spin move i put on the running back was actually a pirouette from act two of the nutcracker where i come out and do that one move yeah it's boulet was it a bouillet whatever yeah it's better than most some shit so it also says quote tony larusa is a veteran of the show oh my god what tony larusa dancing in the nutcracker and then drinking 17 scotches and getting a dui on the way home would
Starting point is 01:25:46 be the funniest fucking thing i've ever heard in my life the guy with the the manager the manager for years yeah he's dancing apparently i've what i gotta say i almost need footage of that shit that is fucking wild. La Russa lives in nearby Danville, California during the offseason. His 20-year-old daughter, Devin, is in the ballet, and his wife, Elaine, also participated in the public performance. Sean Dunstan is in it. San Francisco Giants outfielder Sean Dunstan scratched his head as he tried to learn his part for the Rats and Soldiers battle scene. Well, I would pay to watch a rehearsal of people going, what? I don't know if I did fucking three.
Starting point is 01:26:36 What? So step back for step step. Fuck you, man. I'm not doing this shit. This is bullshit. Playing the pirates this weekend. i'm out of here i gotta go take bp man um oakland athletic second baseman mark ellis cursed himself when his timing was off and the performers had to start over he said i do love watching an athlete just hate themselves
Starting point is 01:27:03 for something they can't do. No. It's fucking ridiculous. He said, I'm learning. I'm no dancer. It's tough. I'm sweating. And Dunstan said that his back was hurting as he laid on the hard floor with his legs in the air.
Starting point is 01:27:18 Said his back hurt. Dancing's not easy, man. This is fucking ridiculous. Oh, my God. all-star night at the nutcracker jimmy awful absolutely awful i want nothing to do with that is that tchaikovsky the nutcracker yeah right probably yeah you ever heard the story about him thinking the dakota apartment building was somebody's house is that right it's fucking hilarious dude he was pissed he came to america to do a tour and the dakota is a big building in new york it's fucking hilarious dude he was pissed he came to america to do a tour and the
Starting point is 01:27:45 dakota is a big building in new york it's the building john lennon got shot outside remember we were looking up places just like laughing at how expensive they were how crazy they are like that's 14 million dollars but it's this cool old like gothic looking building in new york it doesn't belong all these shiny buildings and then yeah and then you get that place and you get a studio in there for 1414 million. Yeah. So one of the guys who lived in the apartment was a publisher of music. So Tchaikovsky was on a tour and he came there to eat at the publisher's apartment. And so he saw the building and then he went and took him on the roof of the building and he saw all around it.
Starting point is 01:28:20 And Central Park is right there and he's showing him here's the park and all this. Tchaikovsky's English was shit and he didn't understand any of it and later on he wrote to somebody that no wonder why all the composers are poor this fucking publisher he's got a house that's bigger than any of the czars castles in russia he's got an enormous park that's his front yard front yard he thought it was his whole he thought the whole apartment building was this dude's house and he was like this is fucking ridiculous i'm not making like he was ready to quit music because this is not yeah he was ready to protest the business and shit it was like he went to fucking you know some producer's house and went hold on a second i wrote flight of the bumblebee this is bullshit that's what he wrote
Starting point is 01:28:56 right i don't know i don't know maybe i think he wrote the nutcracker either way you might not have never you might never have seen if if it got even madder and quit you might not have seen dana stubblefield dance ballet i would lose my mind no matter what i'm in if somebody showed me their house was that building and i just assumed that the central park was their front yard i'd go home and jump off of a rickety stool. I would be so upset. He said that he's wealthy beyond dreams is what he told the guy. His house is bigger than the castles of the czars. I'm like, this is hilarious. What a dick.
Starting point is 01:29:34 He said there's a large giant park as his front yard. It's a 2,000 room house. Yeah. It's the place has like 60 apartments in it of giant apartments. The whole thing's his house so uh anyway that year the ballet doesn't seem to help with his sacks very much because he has 15 games and three sacks so wow there you go ballet practice not helping um so he's done with san francisco on a six-year deal he's done after this season he's added like seven sacks to their totals.
Starting point is 01:30:07 Total since he left San Francisco. So he is signed with Oakland instead. So there you go. I mean, that's close by. If you want to live in the Bay Area. I've lost track of him by this point in my watching of football. Yeah, he wasn't a force anymore to be reckoned with. So you'd kind of, oh, he plays for them now is all you do if you happen to watch a Raider game.
Starting point is 01:30:27 Oh, look at that. Dana Stubblefield. There he is. So now during the season, though, in November of 2003, he has to testify before a grand jury in the Balco case. Oh, is that right? Yeah, which if you're not very quickly, if you're unfamiliar with Balco, we've talked about it before. But Balco is the is the it's Barry Bonds. It's Victor Conti was the guy that ran it. And it's a they gave out HGH and all sorts of different steroid illegal products for them to Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa open the doors for this shit.
Starting point is 01:31:01 It's all there, man. It's all there. And football players were doing it well before baseball players there's football players since the 60s have been fucking jacking themselves up with steroids so that's a different story baseball players they used to not even lift weights in the 60s because they said if you got muscles it would fuck up your swing and you wouldn't be able to pitch the same so it never happened craig viz gave Craig Vigio a career. Gave Brady Anderson 50 home runs. Luis Gonzalez hit 57 home runs one year, guys.
Starting point is 01:31:29 That's right there you go. Okay, what's going on? He was a noodle three years ago. What's happening? Why is this? He hit 21 homers as a career high, and now he's got 57? And then back to 14. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:45 I wonder what he was doing. He's got 57. And then back to 14. Yeah. Biggio's a different. I wonder what he was doing. Biggio, either way, he hit 14 homers a year. And he's a 3,000-hit guy. He'd have played no matter what. He's a great hitter, yeah. He played every goddamn position, too. He came up as a catcher, ended up as a center fielder, third base.
Starting point is 01:31:58 Not a big guy. No, I met him. He's tiny. He's so fucking tiny. He looks like somebody's accountant. He's just a little tiny guy. Bagwell was short, too, but he was righted to the max. He was huge.
Starting point is 01:32:10 So before the Balco, we've even brought up, that's why I'm not going to say him now, but so many athletes' names in this, and Bonds among the biggest of them. I think Giambi was tied up in all of this, and there was a Jason Giambi that went, Jeremy. I think both of them. I think both of them, yeah. Yeah, just a ton of them. And a bunch of football players as well, including Dana Stubblefield, obviously. And also Marion Jones got six months in jail for that, the Olympian.
Starting point is 01:32:37 It was a big goddamn deal. So he has to testify before the grand jury. So let's fingers crossed for dana that he told the truth there right yeah okay let's talk about the season then we'll get into that good he's not good at the truth though we found i found by the end of this you'll just see that everything he says is a lie it's if he's talking it's probably bullshit i've just come to that what is that is it because he got away with it? What is it? Because he can go,
Starting point is 01:33:06 I really care about school more than anything when he doesn't fucking care about it at all and doesn't get grades and people will back him up from the school because I think that's what it is. He can have the cops come to his house and George Seifert will just tell him, put his arm around him and tell him,
Starting point is 01:33:20 you got to just ignore that stuff. I think he's used to skating, man. That's all it is. That's all it is. That's all it is. He's used to getting away with shit. That's why I think it was for OJ, for a lot of famous athletes. They're used to get Phil Spector even. Famous rich people are used to getting away with a lot of shit.
Starting point is 01:33:39 How wild is that? And when they don't, they're surprised. Because he created the wall of sound, your house can just have a dead woman laying in it that's what i mean you can have an hh holmes house if you fucking if you are a good music producer it's fucking crazy right it's not the way the world works guys it was for a long goddamn time though that's the thing yeah after 40 years you would imagine that he'd go i guess this is the way the world works and maybe maybe it's maybe it's those guys that we should be mad at for like the whole me too thing maybe if you guys weren't such dicks that shit wouldn't be required yeah that's the thing that yeah that they would be the people that take such yeah liberties with
Starting point is 01:34:21 fucking living life people like that are the people that would complain about it most of all. Right. About Me Too being, what a fucking, this is ridiculous. But it's like, well, yeah, you were raping people. That's why, you fucking idiot. You're raping people and you got a dead white girl in your foyer, you bastard. Stop it. No, that's not going to work out.
Starting point is 01:34:38 Even if you gain 2,000 yards in a season, they're going to fucking take you down for that. So, 2003 Oakland, they are fucking wretched um this is post super bowl i loved every moment of this right into the toilet at four and twelve oh yeah let me six years of this shit six years of this shit let me read to you the list of quarterbacks who attempted passes for them this season yes because it is six people long six different people through passes and only one of them is a non-quarterback only one of them was like an option type play okay so yeah that was on this no he's well retired by now uh jerry rice threw one pass because Jerry Rice had come over here at age 41. But Rich Gannon, Rick Meyer, remember him?
Starting point is 01:35:29 The guy drafted second overall after Drew Bledsoe that we talked about? He's still playing. He had a 52% completion percentage with three touchdowns and five picks that year. Marcus Tuiasasopu. Tuiasasopu was in this year. uh yeah he was playing here um not very good though uh no touchdowns three picks for him uh t martin remember him the old tennessee quarterback back then uh t not 10 t t e e tennessee volunteers not titans i'm talking. I don't know him. Well, he had zero touchdowns and one interception. And then finally, Rob Johnson.
Starting point is 01:36:09 Remember him, the Bills quarterback they gave a bunch of money to and he sucked? He played in two games as well, having no touchdowns and one pick. Overall. Brutal to watch. Overall, Raider quarterbacks that year had nine touchdown passes and 14 interceptions. What a fucking disaster. How did they win any games? Right?
Starting point is 01:36:32 This is a... How do you win when you put up nine touchdowns over a 16-game season? How do you win? Six, nine passing touchdowns. All of those passing touchdowns were between Rich Gannon and Rick Meyer, by the way. Gannon had six. Meyer had three. Otherwise, everybody else just threw picks.
Starting point is 01:36:48 That's all they did, man. This is a—what a goddamn disgrace. Jerry Rice was 0 for 1 in his one attempt. So there you go. Wow. So you're telling me they started the season with Rich Gannon as their quarterback, and their backup was Rick Meyer. They went into the season going we feel good about rick meyer as our backup because rich is gonna be fine to an older off injured quarterback we feel like
Starting point is 01:37:11 rick meyer is the solution to that holy shit and they're like oh t martin's on the waiver wire let's go ahead and grab him yeah fuck man um dana only plays in eight games and has zero sacks this year. Not one. Not a goddamn fucking sack. This is his first time, right? Yeah. Jerry Rice has more attempted passes than he has sacks. When a Hall of Fame wide receiver has more pass attempts than you have sacks in a season, you're fucking up.
Starting point is 01:37:44 And your main job is get sacks. Just get sacks. a season you're you're fucking up and your main job is get sacks just get sacks yeah that's it stop the run throwing throwing passes is the last job that jerry's gonna do i don't think he practices that very much probably it's not his thing that he's especially by 41 by age 41 he's probably you know, I've decided I'm not going to ever be a quarterback. I just decided that. And at 41, he probably is blocking less than most of his career, and he still throws less than he blocks. That's amazing. And also more than Dana Sacks quarterback. It's not good for anybody around.
Starting point is 01:38:24 So he's also kind of has the stink of balco on him because he's one of those guys so people are chanting balco adam obviously and all that stuff which is a unfortunately for the players involved a very chantable word yeah that's the problem two syllables it's got that they all go together so nice. It's just, fuck, man. You can really, and it's an irritating sound, too. It is, yeah. Just must get in their ears when they're batting shit. So he is signed for 2004, though, by a team.
Starting point is 01:38:57 The New England Patriots decided. Is that right? They'll go pick anybody up from prison and take them in. The Cowboys get the rap for that but honestly the cowboy players get in trouble while they're cowboys right and then jerry jones like kind of gets rid of them quietly or whatever but new england's like who got arrested today is he available can we get him is he mad let's get him i really think they're like well his price is going to be as low as possible right now i feel like that's what it is like yeah we're going to get the best value for our dollar with the guy
Starting point is 01:39:28 who's you know it's not just that it's like if they've got if they've got any sort of of athletic prowess and they've got a drive to win they're probably a great bet because they've got a chip on their shoulder and something to prove it's a genius idea it is although i don't know how they maintain being quote-unquote clean cut when they have so many fucking criminals that's my point how did that and we mean the image of it how is it well belichick runs a clean cut program over there it's like does he have the team your owner's getting jerked off by girls that got shipped here in a refrigerator box what the fuck how do you guys do it there's so fucking much going on
Starting point is 01:40:04 there's so much of it that here. That's the magic. There's so much of it. That's what makes Belichick such a great guy. It's nothing to do with winning Super Bowls. It has to do with how do you maintain the image of this. They almost have like a military image to them. Yeah, they do. They might as well wear camouflage.
Starting point is 01:40:20 That's how fucking they're looked upon. And not even close. No, they'll sign every fucking prisoner, and their owner will most certainly be jerked off they've argued yeah by someone someone who came over on season two of the wire and is not here voluntarily this is not good man and somehow they maintain this whole uh we wear business suits we're professional football players no you're not you're goddamn criminals that do the worst thing you arguably have the worst charges of any football team in the nfl arguably the worst players after aaron hernandez that should have been it right
Starting point is 01:40:59 like that should have been the end of it like you just re-signed that guy you clearly have no judge of character you re-signed a guy post-murder like clearly and he still had he got they were like is that a red pen he's like no no i got a little something on my hand sorry i smudged that my bad here i'll sign it in black he still has blood on his hands and you're like and and then after that and then after that your owner's participating in fucking sex trafficking after that and then after that your owner's participating in fucking sex trafficking after that it's fucking amazing after legitimate murder well you can add dana stubblefield to the list of arrested patriots because in the summer of 2004 he is charged federally for lying, making false statements to federal agents about his use of performance enhancing drugs. Oh, no. Not good.
Starting point is 01:41:52 Apparently, this is all over the clear. Now, the clear was it was a steroid, an HGH type of thing. That was a liquid that you rubbed on. Right. That was the whole thing. Yep. The clear. And it was a clear, odorless, fucking colorless liquid that you just rub on rather than taking an oral thing or injecting yourself.
Starting point is 01:42:13 So that clear neosporin that just absorbs into your skin. Yeah. From what I understand, the clear was mostly a, like an add-on to, was a it was a paired booster though yeah it was a yeah it wasn't most of the guy people from what the document they all said i just did the clear but most of the guy people when it came out the document said that was like in addition to type of shit like they wanted that also but then when testing started that's when they started just doing the clear shit because that was undetectable at the time yeah um and this is this stuff they said he took it orally so i guess you could drink the clear as well oh wow i don't know if it's the same formula as the rub on but you can drink the clear
Starting point is 01:42:55 because he said orally um and it said stubblefield admitted that he consumed this substance several times throughout the summer of 2003 as he worked out in preparation for the 2003 NFL season. At the time, Stubblefield took the clear. He knew that it was for a performance-enhancing substance. He also admitted to taking an oxygen-boosting drug called EPO as well. And he said, at Conte's direction, Stubblefield received injections of EPO on several occasions in the summer of 2003 as preparations for the 2003 season. So he is suspended by the NFL in July of 2004 because he lied to federal investigators about something that they don't allow happening in the league anyway.
Starting point is 01:43:41 Right. And this isn't even this is like love after lockup. Like I knew it was a I knew it was a rule i didn't know it was a law like it's both a rule and a law this one at the time yeah so uh not good for him at all he's in a lot of shit now he's in deep shit it's amazing how it's such deeper shit to lie to somebody about rubbing some shit on your skin than it is to kick your fucking girlfriend in the face 17 days after she gives birth to your daughter that's way less of a fucking infraction is that after you've already been visited by the police for putting your hands
Starting point is 01:44:17 on her like there was double hands on her or feet whatever yeah in one night in 45 minutes and this is more this is more of a charge and it's crazy so dana now he's suspended yeah he doesn't know what to do with himself because he's you know he's like i've only been in the league like 11 years i don't you know it's i don't feel done yet i mean obviously uh i think there's a there's an issue with uh you know he's 300 pounds and we don't know how much of that is extra bulk from whatever he's taking or what he's been taking over the years. So that's a thing that teams are concerned about. They're also concerned he's going to have to go to prison
Starting point is 01:44:53 from these federal charges against him. So it's difficult. He doesn't know what to do with himself. He's sitting there. You've got to think about, imagine you've been playing football since you were like seven. Right. And now you're like, fuck, I'm not even allowed. I'm not even allowed to play.
Starting point is 01:45:13 Never mind if anybody wants me like I'm not even fucking allowed to play. He has no idea what to do. And then a knock at the door. Oh, boy. It's a knock at the door. And he's like, what's this? Let's hope it's opportunity. Let's just hope it's opportunity. Is it Balco?
Starting point is 01:45:24 What is it? And he opens it. It's better than both of those things. Let's just hope it's opportunity. Is it Balco? What is it? And he opens it. It's better than both of those things. It's Vince McMahon. Yeah. CEO and whatever the fuck he is, chairman of the WWE. And he says. How is it you've come to arrive here?
Starting point is 01:45:50 Look at you. Oh, my God. You big, beautiful bastard. No, no, no. I don't care. Did you just ask if I... Dexter, Dexter, come in here. What is it, Vince?
Starting point is 01:46:08 Oh, my God. Jesus, I'm so sorry. Hello hello hello Dana how are you I'm sorry just to interrupt the whole thing I realize that like Vince is doing his thing right now but like I'm sorry he's like so exuberant about this it's kind of embarrassing from my point of view so I can't imagine how you're feeling right now so um continue continue look at him he's beautiful he just asked me i can't stop laughing about he just asked me if it's going to affect anything with me that he's having federal problems for steroids does he know he's talking to oh god no oh god dana dana that can only help you here come come my Come, my son. Let's tell you what.
Starting point is 01:46:47 Why don't you get that shirt off? Get that shirt off for me. I got... Dexter, do you have them? They're... Vince, they're hideous. I'm not... Dexter, please.
Starting point is 01:46:56 Vince, I'm telling you, just... Dexter, give them to me. Yeah. Fine hair. Put these on. These are my finest overalls, Dana. I've been saving. Girl.
Starting point is 01:47:06 I've been saving these for a man like you, Dana. You don't understand. I've been saving them. I said, oh, he's going to come into my life, ride it up, willing to kick a nearly pregnant woman in the face. This is the type of, this is the man I need. You're going to be the champion, Dana. And then, fine, Dex, I'm going. Bye. Let's go now, Vincent. But please, I want to be the champion, Dana. And then, fine, Dex, I'm going. Bye. Let's go now,
Starting point is 01:47:26 Vincent. But please, I want to take his shirt, please. Poof. They're gone in a sea of 1099s. Feathered boas. And other people sweat and tears and blood and effort. So, there we go.
Starting point is 01:47:44 Vince is gone and he's like, shit i needed that he's got nothing used that career yeah so in addition to him being suspended chris cooper and barrett robbins is remember one of our yeah one of our craziest alumni oh man barrett is out of his mind literally and figuratively yeah um and dana stubblefield all fined, all fined three game checks for last season. So they're fined a lot. And also suspended from the NFL for testing positive for HGH, too. See, they tested positive. No, I'm sorry, for the steroid TGH.
Starting point is 01:48:22 I don't know what that is. But they were also placed on reasonable cause testing for the rest of their careers and will be suspended for eight games if they test positive for any steroid ever again. Wow. This is a lot more than they do for other shit back then. Wow. I guess the action was a result of an agreement announced Wednesday by the NFL and the Players Union that has been pending since last October. Cooper and Stubblefield are defensive linemen, blah, blah, blah. Also, Bill Romanowski also tested positive, obviously, all over the league. I don't think that guy ever played a down without something coursing through his veins. Oh, God, no.
Starting point is 01:49:03 He was a maniac for fucking 13 seasons. Just crazy. Going on pure chemicals. Yeah. And chemicals and rage. And he announced his retirement, though, so they're not taking any action on him unless he tries to come back to the league. I'll bet that's why he left.
Starting point is 01:49:21 Thinking about it now, it's probably because they started cracking down on it. Right? Oh, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Because he was about to be just a very mediocre player. Yeah. I mean, he was banged up and old and shit, too. Sure.
Starting point is 01:49:32 But, I mean, he had a lot of problems, too. Because, I mean, then he had federal issues as well with all the drugs and his wife and all that shit. So, it was a problem. Stubblefield and Cooper, along with teammates tyrone wheatley remember him running back remember him on michigan and chris heatherington a fullback all appeared before the grand jury investigating balco um obviously um the league said these four guys were the only positive samples in 1700 retests of every sample taken before last october 6th and they all play together they all play in the same team in the same area the league also said there were no positive
Starting point is 01:50:11 samples and more than 4 000 tests since that date wow you're telling me not one fucking nfl guy was on detectable shit they just all switched to four dudes playing for Oakland. Yeah. They just all switched to HGH. Yeah. So July 19th, 2008, this drags on until. Wow. Four fucking years of this. He decides to plead guilty. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 01:50:37 And Barry Bonds' lawyer, Michael Raines, he said that he doesn't understand that he goes, quote, he's pleading guilty. I don't know why he would do that because out of this yeah he's like i'm gonna fight this shit forever i'm gonna do my best to get barry in the hall of fame that didn't work out not quite so uh federal prosecutors said uh stubblefield turned over the names of the players agents and trainers that he suspected of drug use to federal investigators and nfl officials dana full cooperation sammy the bull fucking rat on the rat dana not people he has sold steroids to or was maybe saw him at the clinic people he suspected of holy shit you gotta go dan did i take my shirt off in front of dana and did he comment that my pecs were looking pretty solid today fuck i'm gonna get investigated by the
Starting point is 01:51:29 goddamn federal government not the fucking you asshole he not only told federal investigators nfl officials as well what the fuck man he's going around making secret fucking lists saving his own ass oh my god man wow what a fucking jerk man oh man like it'd be one thing it's like these are the guys i've personally injected into their asses like you know conseco said i've injected mark mcguire that's a different thing this is people he's like that guy looks pretty big this year did he at least put their names together that rhyme for the singing because he certainly is singing like a son of a bitch he needs to sit the fuck down and shut up i hope they added singing to the nutcracker for him this year because he because he's a singing son of a bitch he is going to be the star he's going to have an aria right in the middle of it holy shit whoa this is a whole opera man
Starting point is 01:52:27 he's saying a whole opera holy try out for american idol dana because you're singing oh man that is wild so um he pleads guilty uh to lying to investigators in the balco steroid case making him the first football player charged in the investigation for it to be done. The charges, which were unsealed, alleged that Stubblefield lied to an IRS agent when he said he had not used steroids linked to the Balco place there and denied receiving performance enhancers from Balco Fonder Victor Conti. So you can't do that. You can't tell an IRS do that you can't tell the irs agent that
Starting point is 01:53:06 you didn't no because they were the irs was investigating balco for their tax evasion on that so yeah no if an irs sworn testimony yeah if an irs agent shows up at your house and it's one of the ones that have a gun you fucking say you don't lie to that person you will go to jail you start giving names up of people that you think might be doing shit yeah if you've gotten that far with the irs that one of them's got a gun and talking to you it's already a mess for you yeah you're like where's your adding machine they're like no no no that's not my i'm not that we're beyond that we're well beyond that math's already been done those nerds sent me here get it the mathletes sent a guy with
Starting point is 01:53:48 a gun they figure it out then they send jack sexton i don't even remember what fucking episode that was a small town murder but it probably was they sent jack sexton yeah it was. IRS agent. Sexiest son of a bitch on earth. Jack Sexton, field agent. He fucks your car. He'll fuck the gas tank. He doesn't care. So, yeah. Anyway, that's what ends up happening. The plea deal calls for him to spend somewhere between zero and six months in prison, which is okay.
Starting point is 01:54:30 Somewhere between zero and six months in prison, which is okay, though the judge said she's not bound by that agreement and can sentence him to up to five years if she wants to. Zero to six months or, at my discretion, up to five years? Yeah, judge said that's all nice that you guys worked all that out, but you weren't. I didn't say I agreed to that shit. If I want to, I can multiply that by ten. Yeah, exactly. So Stubblefield and his attorney, Mike Armstrong, which was, did you ever watch Arliss back in the day? I did.
Starting point is 01:54:52 I loved that show. That was the older agent that was always fucking Arliss over. Really? He was always laughing at him, calling him small time. His name was Mike Armstrong on the show. I don't know if that's a relation to this guy's attorney or what. If he's a sports attorney, I'm not sure. What's that guy's name that played him he was he's so fucking funny fuck my life what is his name he is so fucking funny he's great and i can't think of his fucking i'm god damn it he was he was on a tv show before that right uh yes yes uh his name is arliss
Starting point is 01:55:23 michaels that was the name his name is robert wool no robert well i thought you were talking about the guy who played mike armstrong no robert well yeah robert well i know about yeah robert wool had that he's in movies he was in bull durham for christ's sake he's one of the coaches he's so great and he had that hbo special where he does history in a funny way that shit yeah no robert wool we know i was trying to remember is uh mike armstrong on the show there's john reilly okay there you go i don't know his name but my uh fucking arliss is oh what a great show yeah god damn it it's like not a good show but it's a great show yeah it's not good yeah it's not i don't watch it it's the quality television the script is fantastic this is crap that i need right right at this moment
Starting point is 01:55:59 this is the crap I need now. It's why you watch a movie with Jay Leno and Pat Morita. Okay, full disclosure. Three in the morning last night, I sent Jimmy a screenshot of Collision Course, which is a movie starring Jay Leno and Pat Morita. It's a buddy cop. A buddy cop. And they're like handcuffed together with their fists up. And Jay's got this look on his face like, I'm all handcuffed. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:56:30 It's from 1992. That's when they re-released it because of his Tonight Show thing. I looked it up. It's from 89. That's why it looks so shitty. That's why. I was like, because when you said early 90s, I was like, I swear I've seen that so much earlier than that. It's 89. It was like direct-to-video seen that so much earlier than that. Yeah, it's 89.
Starting point is 01:56:45 It was like direct-to-video probably or some shit. Probably. One of those was on HBO. It was on HBO and Showtime fucking all the time. All the time. Yeah, pile of shit. So we were watching this pile of shit and I was sending him videos from it. Jay Leno is embarrassing as an actor.
Starting point is 01:56:59 Like, it's bad, dude. How many times do they say the racist Japanese word? I don't know if it's more offensive to Japanese people or just my sensibilities having to watch Jay Leno pretend to be a human. But out of the both of them, my head is fucking flooded with shit. I don't know how to say it. Doesn't it feel like that movie was like a passion project for Jay to make himself a star and mix cars into it. Yeah. Like, oh, I could drive my car.
Starting point is 01:57:28 I think that was his idea, though. He was like, you know, I got a lot of cars. You know, I could bring a car. I got a 62 Vette that's going to be a good one. You know, we should put that in there. And, you know, maybe if I'm eating like some Doritos out of the front seat, we might be able to get a couple bucks from the Dorito people. Those Frito-Lay people, those are deep pockets, let me tell you.
Starting point is 01:57:43 Full of corn chips. All right, buddy? Yeah, all right. I'm going to watch bucks from the Dorino people. Those Frito-Lay people, those are deep pockets, let me tell you. Full of corn chips. All right, buddy? Yeah, all right. I'm going to watch it again because you watched it. I haven't seen it since I was a child. But I know that it's a piece of shit because when I was a kid, my stepfather made me watch. I realize now today that if my stepfather hated something,
Starting point is 01:58:00 it's fucking awesome. And that if he loved it, it's a piece of shit. That's what you know. I know that for facts. And he loved that it's a piece of shit that's what you know i know that for facts and he loved that movie and i've watched it so many times that's fucking hilarious i'm gonna watch it again because i know and as a kid it was it made me uncomfortable the racist jokes that were in it and oh it was so i was like is this okay this is okay this is what we're watching it's attempted it's attempted white bever Hills cop, but it's not good. It's not good at all.
Starting point is 01:58:29 Jay Leno, let's just say, doesn't have quite the charisma of Eddie Murphy. Let's just put it that way. I've never said anything to say to put it mildly and meant it any more than that. To put it at bare minimum, Jay Leno doesn't have the cinematic charisma of Eddie Murphy. That's good right there. Just leave it at that. That's as succinct as you can boil that piece of shit down to. That's amazing.
Starting point is 01:58:55 So Dane is pleading guilty. Okay, that's where we were. Dane is pleading guilty. While he's pleading, he says, quote, I falsely made statements about EPO and the clear and falsely stated receiving the goods from Balco, is what he said in front of the judge. The judge says, whether you like the sentence or not, you won't be able to appeal my sentence and you won't be able to change your guilty plea. That's part of the deal. So then she says, would you like to say anything before I sentence you? What did he say, Dana?
Starting point is 01:59:24 No, thanks. No. I'm good. I'm good. Thanks. She says, you, sir, may fuck off two years for probation. Oh. Two years probation and a $5,000 fine, mister.
Starting point is 01:59:41 Don't you do that again. She said the sentence was warranted the warrant the sentence was warranted that light sentence was warranted the judge said because of how quote extremely cooperative dana was with investigators after he was charged how much work he's given my officers they're going to be busy for the next 10 years he flipped on everybody it's amazing it's incredible so by now he's divorced from kim that's over he's now has a fiancee named melanie wade who is standing by his side as he's sentenced boy she's right there for him they asked her about it and later she said quote it was hard for him he was depressed about it it was hard for him to leave his house when he had to admit that.
Starting point is 02:00:27 So such a hard thing. So 2009, he's a coach for the San Jose Valley Christian High School, a defensive line coach for them. Christian school. You've got a liar over there. Oh, it gets better. Or worse, however you want it. You have a convicted liar right there. Kids, let me tell you about lying it works well let me tell you something if you lie you'll lie and then you'll tell a shitload of truth
Starting point is 02:00:53 what you do is you lie first and that's bad but then you make up for it by betraying all your friends that's what you do by betraying other people's confidences that makes it all better then then the lord will love you yeah get you right back in his favor jesus wants you to be a liar and a rat both is what jesus is looking for all rats go to heaven you guys you know how that works right that's how the saying goes isn't so he's coaching there um during 2009 uh his fiance melanie wade um contacts the news because we'll go back in time to tell you why but she contacts the local news and says quote i'm very scared of this guy meaning dana really quote that's my main reason for coming to you guys and writing that letter because she wrote them a letter. Now, this all started about a month before this, this incident, when four days before the wedding, she broke up with him.
Starting point is 02:01:55 Oh. Okay. Four days before the wedding, she breaks up with him. She says she tried to leave him several times, but he's, as we know, he's pretty controlling, as we've found earlier. So she said she couldn't. And then finally, four days before the wedding, she's like, holy shit, I'm going to be married to this guy in four days. I'm getting out of this. That's forever.
Starting point is 02:02:13 Yeah. So she got out of there. Good for her. So she gets out. She said it was hard for him when she left him for good. He kind of went spiraling out of control um so she'll later get a restraining order and in her application for the restraining order she says that stubblefield would call 50 times a day or more her phone and always leaving long rambling messages as well
Starting point is 02:02:41 yeah um i know you're an angel she said he says in one of them and i know you're here for me in my life for a good reason you're my angel you gotta come back blah i can't fuck it yeah this is not the worst ones it's just conversation starters that's what that's what he's trying to do is to rope her into talk it's called when they with con men it's called uh the cops call it love bombing or psychologists what they'll do they'll call it love bombing this is your it's like what they do with when they try to get you in a cult or a multi-level marketing yeah you're so brilliant you're so great you're so this you're so you're so amazing you're so amazing right and they try to get you in the
Starting point is 02:03:20 door now she says conversely quote he would lock me in and not let me leave the house and tell me threats like quote i'm not done with you till you're six feet under well that's a bad one jesus and uh like quote i'm the only man you're ever going to be with things like that now if you say that can go either way i'm the only man you're ever going to be with if you said that in a kind loving moment you're like i'm the only man you're ever going to be with have you said that in a kind loving moment and you're like i'm the only man you're ever going to be with like i'll always be here for you that would be nice but if you're like i'm the only man you're ever gonna fucking be with it's got a different fucking yeah you gotta say it in a suit while she's in a white dress and you're both your families are on either sides of the pier while you're both holding up a glass of
Starting point is 02:04:00 wine over candlelight or something maybe that's a nice thing or you know after you just got done fucking maybe but if bitch is at the beginning of it or after it and you're not in the middle of sex right maybe she wants to be called bitch in the sack you don't fucking know that we can't judge people's sexual shit hands around her throat pointing at her face shit like that that might be how she comes we don't know that so that's we're not going to judge her for that. Let's be fucking clear here. So she said that the relationship began to fall apart after he admitted to lying about his steroid use. That became when he really started going over the top. She said that he provided the names of players and trainers and everybody else and all this type of shit and helped with illegal drugs and professional football she said she broke up
Starting point is 02:04:50 with him though he kept calling her uh she didn't get a restraining order until august 5th so it went on for like a month of her him calling her constantly and then he said um she said i'm i'm fearful for my life because during the phone calls, Dana continuously threatened me with physical violence and death. Continuously. You're my angel. You're my angel. And if you don't come back to me, I'm going to kill you and rip your wings off. If I can't have you, nobody can.
Starting point is 02:05:17 That's fucking creepy. Yeah. threats to the police and also told police that stubblefield forged her signature on a train on a change of address form so the postal service would deliver her mail to his house oh that's awful dude that is sick that's federal crimes too right hey who wants more mail number one of anybody's i don't want anybody's fucking mail number two that's some weird controlling shit i'm gonna read your i'm gonna find out what your electric bill is. Who cares? What the fuck are you finding out with mail?
Starting point is 02:05:49 By the way, this included her unemployment checks. So she just stopped getting mail and her unemployment checks. It was like, where's my, what the fuck? Where's my money? Yeah. So this is not good, man. So she reports all this shit. Uh, so, uh, she reported the, uh, reports all this shit.
Starting point is 02:06:10 Um, now the judge with the restraining order request, uh, granted the request for a restraining order that requires him to keep 300 feet away from her or 30 feet away when they're both attending services at the church they both go to. So you can't sit in the same row or anything. The, uh, the court also, the court show that a follow-up hearing was scheduled again at which time the judge would decide whether the order should remain in effect for a long time she uh called him in the restraining order violent and unpredictable in one story we'll get into the details of it but she she has to give examples one is that he tried to knock her off her bicycle with his suv that's um wow that's not trying to knock somebody that's trying to kill somebody it is what else do you do that for dude you're on a
Starting point is 02:06:55 bicycle you're in an suv it's not like you're driving a fiat and you're trying to make a joke that's what that is yeah that's fucking crazy man crazy, man. That's very dangerous, I would say. I mean, fuck. It's an SUV, man. It's a giant truck. I can't even get words out over this. I'm imagining riding a bike down the street and having somebody trying to hit me with a fucking Lincoln Navigator. It's fucking crazy.
Starting point is 02:07:20 Get your Tahoe away from me. I'm riding my fucking Huffy over here. And how is that not grounds for a phone call from Belichick? Hey, Dana. Yeah. I know you're drafted about 15 years ago and you're probably getting a little bit old, but we're thinking you've got a lot of life left in you. We saw your chase with the bicycle and I feel like you really want it.
Starting point is 02:07:43 You're willing to do anything for that violence. So she then said she reported it to the TV station because she was worried that the authorities weren't doing anything to protect her. And based on his history, this is a warranted thought. Hey, maybe they won't do shit for this. So she contacted the TV station, she said,
Starting point is 02:08:04 to put pressure on the police to keep him the fuck away from her. But that was the whole. This is the public, right. Yeah, because now. The public's not safe. Because now, two days later, there's a story on the news saying that this woman was killed by him. Yeah. Cops are going to look bad.
Starting point is 02:08:18 It's just period. And the courts are going to look bad. The news loves this kind of thing. That's a fresh story. That's got legs. And we told you first. We reported it first. So she's painted a picture of Stubblefield here that says, well, lock me in the house, six feet under.
Starting point is 02:08:37 Then here's June 2008. So this is a month before she actually broke up with him. This is what happened here. Quote, he was running me off the road. It was almost like a horror movie, she said. She was a personal trainer. She said she left work about 11 p.m. one night last year, and Stubblefield was waiting for her in his car.
Starting point is 02:08:58 Wow. She rides her bike to work. She said, quote, I was on my bicycle, and I told him to leave and leave me alone, and he was really irate he wasn't leaving so he followed me home she said she turned down a darkened road to escape but he followed her in his chevy suburban jesus quote and he bumped me off my bike and i went forward and i got cut up and bruises and got my and got back on my bike and continued to go home
Starting point is 02:09:25 so he knocked her off actually once which is attempted murder yeah right there yeah um she said when she finally got back to her apartment she said he was already there waiting for her which is frightening suburbans are faster than bikes usually especially if you have to pick rocks out of your fucking hair and uh get back on bike. No matter how scared you are, you can't pedal a bike faster than a suburban. No, no shit. She said that he's already there. So what she did to get him away, quote, and so I got this big rock and threw it at the truck and ran into my apartment. Holy shit.
Starting point is 02:10:01 Yeah, she said. And he just waited out there like a shark in the water. Holy shit. Yeah, she said. And he just waited out there like a shark in the water. And then he said she goes on to say this is her mother now talking. Kelly, her mother, said, quote, and then there was a big pounding on the door, she said. And I told him that she wasn't there. And he said that he said that he has someone that's going to go after Melanie and Melanie better watch her back.
Starting point is 02:10:24 What the fuck? Says that's to her mom. That is crazy. So yeah, this obviously is in the restraining order and all that. He's 6'2", 300 pounds. She's not. She's
Starting point is 02:10:40 not at all like that. She said three months after that he chased her after an argument and then physically wrestled with her in an attempt to take away some personal items that she said belonged to her so this isn't good um at all obviously the mother also says she's witnessed plenty of things about dana going after the daughter going after Melanie. So then she says that she's talking about the restraining order and the things she listed. She said, it's a listing of like the day I went to the post office and I saw that my mail was being stolen and the day of the police report of the of the forgery and the stolen
Starting point is 02:11:18 mail. She said that he went to the post office, forged her signature on a change of address form, had her had her shit forwarded to his house. She said about her bank statements, all of my accounts, every single one. He went online and locked and logged in like it's me. And he created passwords. So I couldn't even get into my accounts online. What the fuck, man?
Starting point is 02:11:40 Dude, she took him out of everything. She said, quote, Arnolms this is a legal analyst here for the news station if you're changing someone else's mailing address to come to your house and they haven't approved it and that's not their mailing address then you're submitting a false document to postal officials it's a federal crime yeah so um yeah she said she's afraid for herself but she said at this point she's also afraid for the students that stubblefield comes in contact with at valley christian high school because he's still a coach there unbelievable still a coach she uh said and i feel like those kids are at risk at risk because they spend so much time with this animal and i really feel like he's an animal i mean he's just
Starting point is 02:12:21 he loses it he has no sense of right and wrong. He rages. He sees red, you know, like people that take a lot of steroids for fucking years and years. He said and hit their fucking heads all the goddamn time. Asked what she wants now. She said, quote, just peace and quiet. I just want to be left alone. I just want this all to be over with. She's getting help from the crime victims program to relocate to a new home where she hopes stubblefield can't find her she's tracking her
Starting point is 02:12:50 down like she's steve young's little brother or something she's trying to run and be in the fucking protection program yeah she said she's going back to court to try to extend the restraining order to five years good yeah she um yeah uh email, Stubblefield's attorney said, quote, we deny the allegations contained in the restraining order request, but in the interest of privacy and closure, we declined to make a statement. The school makes a statement, though, after all this. Oh, yeah. This is head football coach Mike Machado at Valley Christian. He said, and I quote, he has my full support. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 02:13:26 Wow. You know, it's really, really awesome to teach the kids about responsibility. Yeah. That's what you're there for as a high school coach. We said Dana stalking her. Like, yeah, he's literal. He's a menace to this one. What do you have to say?
Starting point is 02:13:42 He has my full support. That's what I have to say uh he has my full support that's what i have to say um then he says that he hadn't seen the television report and doesn't know a lot about the car couldn't comment on wade's allegations here either that's melanie wade she said uh he said um all i know is he's been with us four years now and all i've seen dana do is be a good role model and a positive influence on our kids. You idiot. Until now, stupid. Jesus Christ, Mike Machado.
Starting point is 02:14:11 You fucking, god damn it. I hate to attack a high school football coach, but for fuck's sake, dude. This is why you're not coaching higher. God damn it, man. That's some common sense. He could be on the fast track to the NFL with that attitude. Fuck. What year is this, though?
Starting point is 02:14:29 Somewhere 2010. Yeah. You can't say that in 2010. Fuck no. That's what I mean. Somewhere there's an NFL owner like going. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 02:14:38 Petting his cat. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Excellent. Excellent. Say less. Say less.
Starting point is 02:14:44 Say less. So guess what, though? Say less, say less. Say less. So guess what, though? He gets charged federally for stealing mail. He has my full support. My full support. How did that guy regret saying that? Quote, he has my full support. How many people on Earth, without knowing all the facts of something, would you say they have my full support?
Starting point is 02:15:06 That you would trust that they didn't do something horrible enough to violate that support? Literally one. You're in. That's it. I don't have a lot of people I would say that about. Even then, it would end up being like, they would say, James was in Tennessee where weed is not legal and he has shit piles of it. I'd be like, he has my full support. He has my full support. Full support. That's crazy. I don't know why they have those laws. Let he has shit piles of it. I'd be like, he has my full support. Yeah, he has my full support.
Starting point is 02:15:25 Full support. That's crazy. I don't know why they have those laws. Let's get him out of Tennessee. Let's just get him out of there somewhere with fucking legal weed. Let's put him back in New York. Everything's fine. You don't expect me to run women off the fucking road with an SUV. I don't see you changing people's mailing address.
Starting point is 02:15:44 That's a lot of work yeah well he's got a lot of time exhausting it really is exhausting and apparently defensive line coach for a high school football team isn't a very demanding job i'm finding out you got a lot of free time to fucking change forms yeah you go to make multiple trips to the mailbox and it's a lot yeah running people over all kind of time he had to get the mailbox. It's a lot. Running people over, all kind of time. He had to get the right form. That's a lot. So full support.
Starting point is 02:16:11 Good role model. That's what he says. Full support. So here we go. Anyway, he gets arrested for that. He has to plead guilty to it because he did it. There's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can do about it. he had the shit go to his house like it's not like you had to go to a
Starting point is 02:16:28 p.o box and there was a he just said bring it right to my house your address man so keep in mind all the things he's done so far violence kicking bicycle all this shit. Federal crimes. Federal crimes. Yeah. You, sir, may fuck off 90 days in jail. He actually goes to jail for the mail thing out of everything. That's wild. So. You got to assume that's just because shit's stacked up, right? You do that once with some mail and fuck around a little bit, they're going to give you probation. He's already on federal probation.
Starting point is 02:17:03 Right. That's why they got him. Yeah. Yeah. He's on federal probation for fucking you can't do that um so not good uh february of 2016 his wife terry by the way uh here this is 2016 so we're six years later his wife terry files divorce documents in sarah clara county family court on february 29 2016 trying to leave and yeah weed day trying to end her leap i know i said yeah weed day then i was like it's not weed day then i was like a leap day every day's weed day every day's weed day yay so she's
Starting point is 02:17:43 seeking to end the marriage to him it's been about six years, ever since the Melanie Wade incident. He must have got engaged to her immediately. So, yeah, she lists the date of separation as February 17th, 2016. They have two children together, a one-year-old and a four-year-old. No word on how he did with the late-night feedings here. But one-year-old and a four year old. She has asked for full legal and physical custody with Dana getting visitation rights. And she's also requested spousal support, obviously.
Starting point is 02:18:15 So, yeah, he's he's done a lot of bad shit to people. And he's a pretty bad, pretty bad guy. And being married to him for six years sounds like it's pretty bad i sound like she's earned yeah yeah i feel there's a lot of people i feel bad for in this case jimmy like he's left a trail of people i feel bad for starting with steve young's brother and ending with his wife and his girlfriends and everything else yeah i feel bad for all these people jimmy yeah me too but not nearly as bad as I feel for Dana Stubblefield. No.
Starting point is 02:18:49 Oh, yeah. Recruiting program manager in San Francisco, California, Jimmy. Stop that. Oh, God, that poor bastard. Dana Stubblefield, student at Sam Houston University. And she's a young lady, of course, as well. So that's what you're going to get here. She's open to work for intern roles as well.
Starting point is 02:19:09 She's looking for internships and plans to become a valuable member through dedicated service and utilizing her abilities to bring an optimistic attitude to the workplace and improve my skills for the long run. Sounds like a good attitude. Someone hire this poor young lady who's got strapped with the name dana fucking stubblefield to their place please she's so young her parents had to know oh i know right it had they had to he was around uh dana stubblefield i don't know what they do but they went to california state university dominguez hills and they live in
Starting point is 02:19:41 washington dc and finally dana stubblefield oakland california it's our dana is it san francisco 49ers university of kansas yeah um uh he hasn't posted lately and we'll tell you why he hasn't posted lately in a few minutes here um he says what is he doing quote looking for new opportunities he's homeless he's He's unemployed? No, just looking. That's what that means, Jimmy. Well, you know the opportunities he found? What? In May 2016, he's charged with raping a developmentally disabled woman.
Starting point is 02:20:16 No. Oh, yeah. That's his new opportunity that he found. He got a divorce and went to raping women with disabilities. That was before he got divorced this happened in 2015 his wife filed for divorce and that's why she divorced him holy shit the police didn't approach him until march so the police didn't approach so i don't know if she just i feel like if you have a rapey kind of guy, maybe you know that shit. Maybe she just had a hunch.
Starting point is 02:20:45 Like, if you're married to a guy who's capable of being charged with raping a developmentally disabled woman, maybe you feel that in the back of your spine, you know, a tingle like Spider-Man. This is athlete number two who has done this. Oh, he's Hollywood Henderson's... Wow. His idol, always, Hollywood Henderson. What the fuck, man? Let's see what he did here.
Starting point is 02:21:07 According to the charges, a young woman went to his home in Morgan Hill to interview for a job as a nanny. Oh, boy. And he is charged from this with five felony counts related to the alleged assault. He faces, if convicted of all these, a substantial prison sentence, it says here. You would say 20 to life, right? You would imagine. The deputy district attorney, Tim McInerney, McInerney, he said that, it kind of looks like McEnnery, it's probably McEnnery, this was a crime of violence against a vulnerable
Starting point is 02:21:41 victim. She was looking for a job and she was unconscionably assaulted. So, let's see here. His attorney, on the other hand, Ken Rosenfeld, said that Stubblefield called the allegations false and fraudulent. And in a statement, the lawyer
Starting point is 02:21:58 said that Stubblefield and the woman had consensual sex and then she asked him for a job and money afterward. No. So, well yeah when you hear where it's no is right stubblefield was released on 250 000 bail after this um so yeah we don't know if that's the cause for divorce or what but um the incident went down that with the babysitter or we'll find out attempted attempted babysitter, in April of 2015. Okay.
Starting point is 02:22:27 And he wasn't contacted by investigators until March of 2016, but they had been broken up, him and his wife, since February 17th, 2016. Okay. Like I said, I don't know. She put her ear to the fucking ground and felt the herd rumbling, you know what I mean? Might have had some shit like that going on there was some helicopters i feel it yeah she put her hand on the train track and she's like soon soon rape charge is on their way it's coming it's two stops oh they're two stops away it'll be here soon so what happened you might be asking well he apparently was looking for a babysitter at least
Starting point is 02:23:07 that's the ruse that he was playing on this whole deal here he contacted a 31 year old woman we're not going to use her name in here they she's she and many other people have gone to lengths to not use her name she didn't want it out there and people have put it out there anyway but i'm not gonna use it so don't search it no i'm yeah why would you want what do you care you don't know her right wait why would you give a fuck yeah if you knew her you'd she would and she wanted to know she'd tell you dana stubblefield raped me but otherwise will you care right so you know put your phone down she's not famous she's a normal person who got a horrible thing happened yeah so um official said she had a severe speech impediment as well um he contacted her through sitter city which is a babysitter finder finder site basically i got i hope they
Starting point is 02:23:54 don't try to sponsor us now they're gonna well we've lost that sponsorship definitely here um to see if she was interested in a job as a nanny. They set up an interview for the next day at his home. So he contacted her, saw your profile on there, got this nanny job, want to come by for an interview. Interview lasted about 20 minutes, apparently, and then the woman left. Apparently, a few minutes later, she was driving away from the house, she received a text message from Stubblefield saying that he felt bad that she came all the way over there. It was far from her house and said that he wanted to pay her for her time that day since she drove all the way here and all that.
Starting point is 02:24:36 He felt bad. He said, yeah, why don't you come back? I'll pay you for your time. I feel terrible. So she said, OK. So she went back to the house to get her money. And apparently at that point, Stubblefield picked her up. feel terrible so she said okay so she went back to the house you know to get her money and um apparently at that point stubblefield picked her up she's a small woman by the way thin and he's
Starting point is 02:24:52 300 pounds um picked her up and uh carried her to a room um and then raped her and forced her to quote orally copulate him. Yikes. So there you go. That's the court documents saying that. That's the quote from that. Then, then he gave her $80 and told her she could go. Oh, gross. Just like the stereotypical clean yourself up.
Starting point is 02:25:21 Threw 420s at her and was like, there you go, sweetheart. Good grief. See you later. So she left. clean yourself up threw 420s at her and was like there you go sweetheart yeah good fucking see you later so um she left um so that is uh wild she had a horrifying experience that sounds horrible she drove directly from dana stubblefield's house to the morgan hill police department and reported being assaulted by a man named dana she didn't know who he was by the way too that's the other thing she doesn't know who he was, by the way, too. That's the other thing. She doesn't know a dick about football, and we'll find out.
Starting point is 02:25:48 She's got a couple of problems, this lady. So DNA evidence matched Stubblefield as well later on on the testing. So he's charged with rape, rape of a victim incapable of giving consent, oral copulation, oral copulation with a victim incapable of giving consent and false imprisonment wow those are terrible charges yeah terrible charges um oh by the way did it at gunpoint what allegation as well too oh yeah pulled a gun on her then picked her up took her in there yeah that's the that's the allegation here. So not a good one at all. He, at gunpoint, took a developmentally disabled woman to his room
Starting point is 02:26:30 and raped her and then gave her $80. It's not a good fucking story at all. That sounds terrible. I mean, I don't think. And Mike Machado, the high school coach, said, quote, he has my full support. Wait, I didn't hear the story yet. Is it bad?
Starting point is 02:26:43 Shit. Never mind. Sorry, Mike Machado. Wait, I didn't hear the story yet. Is it bad? Shit. Never mind. Sorry, Michael. The lying bit? Yeah, I support him. Yeah, just the lying, not the raping, though. We're going to have to talk to him about that. I'll be honest with you.
Starting point is 02:26:55 Seems like he goes against survival. Stubblefield's attorney said the sex is consensual and that his client is being unfairly targeted by the state because of his wealth and celebrity dog the charge is incapable of consent how can you wow what a what an argument no man she said yes she said it's cool stubblefield provided prosecutors not he didn't take a lie detector at the process you know with the prosecutors he did a third party lie detector that he hired yeah and then brought them the results and was like see i'm not lying um that he paid himself yeah i put my arm in that thing at walgreens and then had people ask me questions yeah that's what he did he said see look at that this lady at walgreens she said
Starting point is 02:27:41 you seem like you're telling the truth to me. That's good enough for her. Said I have great blood pressure. He said that the lie detector proved that it was consensual, including proof that the woman asked him for a job and money afterwards. It's all right there in the lie detector test. So the reaction of it, Stephen E. McMinn, Valley Christian School's chief operating officer, said Stubblefield hasn't worked here in six and a half years. Fuck, please don't talk to me about this. That's pretty much what he said. I have no comment. He said that Stubblefield tried to come back to Valley Christian in 2014, but did not complete the application process. So we didn't hire him.
Starting point is 02:28:23 He said, we're all saddened by the recent news regarding dana and are all praying for all concerned so um yeah the uh the his lawyer oh i'm sorry the prosecutor one of dana white or dana white one of stubblefield's main points of contention is well they didn't charge me for like a year so so what so yeah that doesn't matter there's no statute of limitations on rape dog what are you talking even if there are it's not a year it might be 20 years but ain't a year this is this i love when people use this as a defense either the shortness of the investigation or the length of the investigation as a defense is is there evidence i don't care if it took a year a day or 10 years
Starting point is 02:29:05 to get it is there evidence yeah people if it's a short investigation like they barely looked into it if it's a long investigation like they needed that long to find it clearly we're building it or they realize that you've gotten off before you're gonna have a good attorney and they better get their fucking ducks in a row before they charge you that's probably it they've seen oj and they get how it goes so uh you know when you charge a famous fucking athlete who's got a lot of money and it was a dead ass serious charge jesus yeah so this the prosecutor said we feel that these are important cases for us to get right we understand the ramifications both to the victim and the suspect this is a case that it took what it took for us to file charges this week.
Starting point is 02:29:45 We take all these cases very seriously, especially sexual assault. This is the time when the kicking incident from 1996 comes out, because now they get the old civil documents and the police reports from that, and it comes out here. So, yeah, that's not good at all. That looks real bad for him. So the attorney said, yeah, that's not good at all. That looks real bad for him. So the attorney said, quote, does these allegations are 20 years old and were never criminally charged. Dana's double field did not perform the abhorrent act described in the police report and was never even arrested, let alone charged with any crime related to it.
Starting point is 02:30:22 to it. This appears to be more attempts to smear the character of Dana Stubblefield so he cannot get a fair hearing and defend himself against his current charges. It's wrong and should stop immediately. Jesus. The man's charged with rape, man.
Starting point is 02:30:38 What are you... Wow. And he said to the cops, I kicked her to get her away from the baby. That's in the the cops, I kicked her to get her away from the baby. That's in the police report. I kicked her. And then he signed it. What the fuck do you want?
Starting point is 02:30:51 So anyway, Dana holds a press conference now. He's got a, oh, let's calm it all down now. I need to talk to the public. He holds a news conference at the Jubilee Christian Center in San Jose, where he's a member of the congregation. He defended himself against the charges. He said, quote, you know, what do we need right here, Jimmy? It's got to be, got to be, in their own words, you fucking dildo. Let's hear what you have to say in a church about rape.
Starting point is 02:31:27 hear what you have to say in a church about rape in their own words quote i am here to state without any reservation that i am completely innocent of all these allegations i have worked my whole career to be a part of the bay area community and i have worked in several communities and charities within the church this is an issue that is very close to me. One of my primary charities is the Special Olympics, something that is true and dear to my heart. This is why these allegations hurt me so badly. However, the allegations against me coming a year after a consensual encounter with another woman are all totally false. That sounds awful. Oh, that sounds gross. I like those little fucking whatever you want to call i jerk off to those hot bastards all the time i would never yeah that's right i don't rape them
Starting point is 02:32:12 i make them money that's what i do wow so the da here um jesus christ they're accusing they want the the defense wants the da's to recuse themselves. They get off the case. They accuse them of targeting the football player to raise their own political profiles. And they, quote, soundly reject the prosecutor's portrayal of the alleged victim as developmentally delayed. They're saying she's just fine. She's fine and she liked it. That's their defense. She's fine and she liked it that's their that's their defense she's fine and she liked it so you don't only have to prove that it wasn't fucking rape but
Starting point is 02:32:51 then you also have to prove that she's pretty bright yeah so you can she's got all sorts of you know her whatever the faculties are clearly not there if they would not they would not put that charge on there if they were this attorney went on to say they described the alleged victim yesterday as developed as disabled to sensationalize the case. Wow. OK. So they said that she does receive she receives services from the California Department of Developmental Services. Yes. Is she paid disability?
Starting point is 02:33:28 Then that girl is developmentally disabled. For Christ's sake, it's that easy. She is diagnosed by the California Department of Developmental Services as developmentally disabled and has received services from the agency which operates here. Eligibility for such services require a recipient has a condition which predates adulthood and qualifies as a substantial disability yeah mentally that's what you have to have so um the profile though they say um by the way the profile of her they this is from the the article here um they're talking about her profiles on the babysitting site on facebook and stuff because they try to say she's a their whole defense is we we should
Starting point is 02:34:05 be allowed to call her a whore that's the defense so she's out there on Facebook what'd you think was gonna happen you on her profile she said that she's 32 years old with 29 years of paid experience as a babysitter. Okay. So that says something there. Plus, here's what she wrote in the bio section. Okay. This is for sittercity.com. Quote, and I'm just going to use the words.
Starting point is 02:34:35 I'm not making fun of her. I'm just reading exactly how she wrote it. I like walking with a dog and kids. I like Zumba. I need a job. I need payment doctor, dentist gas phone tax light i'm learning a zumba i want i want to be a zumba job i like mall and nice restaurant you can't have sex with that person nope no you can't no that's that paragraph says nope, done, done. Jesus Christ. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 02:35:06 Yeah. That's a child wrote that. Yes. A girl talks like that on that show and they allow a boy to kiss her and it is so fucking uncomfortable. I can't be a part of that. No. Unless she says, I like mall and nice restaurant. He says, I like mall and nice restaurant too.
Starting point is 02:35:23 Then kiss away. Other than that, if you don't realize that's a problem, then you can't fuck her. Or if you do realize that's a problem, you can't fuck her. That's the thing. 32, if that's the words she's putting on the internet, you can't sleep with that person.
Starting point is 02:35:39 Looking for a job. Yeah. She obviously has some problems. We're not making fun of her. We're making fun of the fact that they're like she's fine no she's not um they also included the about me section of her facebook profile this is stubblefield's attorneys so this is not helping them no i'm here it says under work and education she lists quote I fuller feeling lose weight. All right. I fuller feeling lose weight. That doesn't even answer the question. No, no, you can't do this.
Starting point is 02:36:13 Under places she's lived, she wrote, quote, be sexy, dress nice, dress up. That's not a place. That's not a place. No. Under contact and basic info, she wrote, quote, DJ, sexy, drunk, Zumba, dance and exercise, sometime had fun. Oh, no. And then under family and relationships, she wrote, quote, no money gas. Yep. She's just filling in spots. This is, yeah. She's just filling in spots. She's just telling you what she likes and what she needs.
Starting point is 02:36:48 Apropos of no question. Yeah. Just putting it out. You can't sleep with that person. You can't. Fucking wild. Or as Stubblefield's defense team puts it, competent. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:37:01 They also, this is wild. So then more detail comes out here um they're saying oh they had just moved into that house with his wife and small children there that's what ended up happening so dana's defense dana's best defense is a strong offense in his mind and that is attack the victim so his lawyer says quote this is nothing but money grab, an attempt to get money and take advantage of his celebrity status to sensationalize this case and arrest somebody of notoriety. The defense team gave reporters papers. They contend shows online profiles of the alleged victim from social media and the babysitter matching service, Sitter City. and the babysitter matching service, Sitter City.
Starting point is 02:37:48 Stubblefield's attorneys argue that her job history and previous legal filings support their assertion that she was mentally competent enough to consent to sex. The papers include results from a third-party lie detector test that attorneys say Stubblefield passed, as well as phone records, they say, denote 22 text messages to him in which the alleged victim asked for a job and money at first glance the materials show limited reading and language comprehension comprehension by whoever wrote them but they said uh it doesn't prove or disprove whether she's she could have been pretending to be diminished on her employment profile yeah that's what you want so all the big ruse to set somebody up yeah that's the thing um
Starting point is 02:38:27 about the calls and the texts the program of director of next door solutions to domestic violence said the assault is the assault that had nothing to do with how many texts or calls happened before or after um he had a gun i mean it kind of ends at that point they said it doesn't matter it doesn't negate that an assault happened We need to focus on what happened between them in that room. And yeah, they said the defense called it all absolute nonsense and said the purpose of this news conference is not to flesh out everything that happened. That's what a jury trial is for. Now, sittercity.com had to release a fucking statement here, obviously. Can you imagine?
Starting point is 02:39:06 Yeah. They said, hey, listen, it's fine. We're good. The company has things in place here. And they said, also, Stubblefield and the nanny met through the site but failed to heed the first piece of advice on the site, which was meet for the first time in a public place. So, I mean, hey, not our fault. That's what they said. Also, she says that she dressed sexy, drunk.
Starting point is 02:39:33 Zumba. Zumba for where she works. What are you guys talking about? For where she went to school. You can't expect somebody to just know that. God damn it. So, under the heading, protecting yourself is just as important
Starting point is 02:39:46 as keeping kids safe the website advises sitters that before meeting a family sitter should arrange to speak with them on the phone if the conversation goes well you can arrange for a more in-depth interview at a coffee shop park or another public place with other people around it also urges sitters to recognize common scams including the phrase phrase, I want to pay you up front. The website says that no legitimate employer will pay a sitter slash nanny for work that they haven't done yet. They did say in 2012 there was another incident when a 22-year-old babysitter hired through the site was drugged and raped. Or drugged and sexually assaulted, it says here. I don't know if it was rape or not.
Starting point is 02:40:26 Either way. So, either way. So, just to legally clear myself of that one. He could have just smacked her tits around. We don't know. Yeah, that's assault. Sexual assault. That's definitely sexual assault. So, they still want the DAs to recuse themselves. His attorney said there's been press statements, there's been leaks of information, and all other types of conduct that have been used to prejudice this particular case. We feel this case now needs
Starting point is 02:40:49 to be handled by an impartial body. So we're asking the attorney general's office to be the prosecutor in this case. So Mr. Stubblefield can get a fair hearing. There you go. They said the D.A. said if the D.A.'s office were recused every time they did something like this, that would be brought up in every other case. You can't ask for recusal just because you don't like how your client is being treated. Yeah. They said the judge can just issue a fucking no or a gag order and then no one can say shit. That's what you can ask for.
Starting point is 02:41:19 It's a lot easier. Then he also says about this is the prosecutor talking about the defense attorneys you can't claim that you don't like the publicity but at the same time we're holding press conferences true great point yeah so he pleads not guilty during this in 2018 he goes in for a hearing he pulls up in front of the court in his own car, parks. He's been free for over a year on $250,000 bail. But Superior Court Judge Paul Bernal ordered him taken into custody and jailed after the prosecutor formally added the allegation that he used a gun during the assault, which made it a no-bail case.
Starting point is 02:42:01 His lawyers characterized the move as sneaky and slimy, saying it caught them by surprise. They said they had expected him to be just held over. Yeah. They said, though, the prosecutor said bullshit. His lawyers were keenly aware of the likelihood that there could be a formal gun allegation. They have the discovery, just like we have.
Starting point is 02:42:20 They also said there's no way to know how Stubblefield has actually acted while on bail. And then he said, there's no doubt in my mind Stubblefield has actually acted while on bail. And then he said, there's no doubt in my mind that he's a threat to public safety. Yeah. So he pleads not guilty to everything. He is put back in there. The defense says that they're seeking reinstatement of the bail, claiming they've discovered a 15 second video of this victim dancing in the nude available to paying customers on a porn website. This is they they they did the same shit with R. Kelly's victims.
Starting point is 02:42:53 They were like, well, one time she made out with a boy at a dance. So she likes obviously having public sexual liaisons. That's literally like shit like that. What they were saying. It's fucking crazy. And who's who's to say that when you buy that buy that where does that money go does it go to her does it go to somebody that has that video and leaked because weird did somebody say hey dance for me yeah did they trick her into dancing and then put it up there yeah she's 32 but she's got fucking issues and
Starting point is 02:43:18 you can probably get that person to do things if you're dating her um they said that since the preliminary examination the defense has discovered compelling evidence that the complaining witness committed perjury they also contend it's unlikely anyone else created the account because the site requires a four-step process to sign up as a performer including uploading a photo uh identification and linking to social media account god no one can possibly take an only fans yeah yeah no one could take a picture and fucking get a link to her fucking instagram what are you kidding me even if it's her it's it's an only fans and that's safe so who gives a shit the
Starting point is 02:43:55 prosecutor said that the bail motion in a clumsy it was a clumsy attempt at victim shaming and they said normally a victim's sexual history is not allowed in a rape trial this is odd they said, normally, a victim's sexual history is not allowed in a rape trial. This is odd. They said, quote, these guys are violating the rules of professional conduct, he said, about Stubblefield's lawyers. Their claim is highly inflammatory, and there's a good chance it never enters the courtroom at trial. They also noted they consider to be other signs of her only handicap being a severe speech impediment. Here's Stubblefield's team here. She has a California driver's license with no restrictions and has held several jobs, including at Safeway and delivering restaurant takeout for DoorDash.
Starting point is 02:44:34 Okay, well, there's no fuck. All you have to do is sign up for that. There's no interview for DoorDash. And I have seen people with, you know, fucking issues begging groceries at Safeway, you know fucking issues back in groceries at safeway you know yeah people they hire people with down syndrome to back and i'm great good for you i'm not saying that's bad i'm just saying that's doesn't that's developmentally disabled you know what i mean that person certainly should not cannot uh just be in control of themselves all day. Yeah, and they can't be raped by an NFL player.
Starting point is 02:45:05 Yeah. So a defense expert also once scored, testified that the woman once scored an 87 on an IQ test, but the prosecution notes that all the other IQ tests they have for her are 70. So her IQ is 70, which is just shy of Forrest Gump. She did great once. Yeah, and that's shaky.
Starting point is 02:45:28 And it's not consistent. Yeah, don't go with the outlier. Go with the consistent. 70, I think, what was Gump? 71 was his IQ? I don't remember. Want to say? So, I mean, there you go.
Starting point is 02:45:42 That's where we're at here. And Jenny probably should be talked to about the sex she had with him. Oh, absolutely. That should be a crime. Absolutely a crime. She 100% raped him. He had no idea what was going on. Right.
Starting point is 02:45:55 He had no clue. He was like, did something come out of my penis? Like he had no idea what was happening. The look on his face said it all. That was rape. Yeah. Yeah. No shit.
Starting point is 02:46:05 If you change the fucking sexes in that scene and the girl has that look on her face, people will be like, I am so uncomfortable right now. It wouldn't be an American classic that's on TBS every fucking 30 minutes, would it? No. It'd be a horrible rape film. in 30 minutes would it no it'd be a horrible rape film yeah if a dude that a free love dude in the 60s is just banging away and then has sex with her in her bed and then he dies of aids oh my god man intravenous drug use and sex orgies all the time what the fuck oh so the judge here said that his impression and strong suspicion was that the woman is disabled based on among other factors her befuddlement in the face of some of
Starting point is 02:46:54 the questions she was asked during her testimony in a hearing she also uh he also said he found much of her testimony credible though he noted that her testimony varied on the question of whether he threatened her with a gun, whether he threatened her or not, but he had one. But the judge does take an unusual step by reinstating bail for Dana Stubblefield. What? After his attorneys argued that the woman who accused him of raping her at gunpoint
Starting point is 02:47:19 lied under oath when she denied ever working in the porn industry or receiving money for sex because she had a 15- second video of her dancing nude. I didn't consider that porn because it's only fans and in my bedroom. Not really. Yeah. It's not produced. I didn't get a little camera crew come over here.
Starting point is 02:47:35 There was nobody that said and suck it. And by the way, not one person paid for it. So literally no one has ever seen it. Unbelievable. The same as if she took it and kept it on her phone it doesn't matter so um they set the bail at 500 000 and made tell told him he has to wear an electronic monitoring device blah blah blah um so yeah she um she he claims that now he claims not only was it consensual he so was the payment everything was consensual he just
Starting point is 02:48:03 said i'll give you 80 bucks to fuck me and blow me. The balls. The fucking balls. It's fucking wild. The Stubblefields lawyers argued that the woman's, quote, commercial sexual activity was legally relevant because it corroborated their client's claim that he paid for consensual sex so wow if you have a 15 second video on only fans that means that if somebody fucking if somebody rapes you yeah and then throws 80 bucks on your chest that's a financial transaction exactly that's capitalism that's not that's what that means welcome to america wow um that's that's you better pay taxes dude as a guy that's disturbing it really is no this doesn't
Starting point is 02:48:47 affect me at all and it's disturbing as balls man just to have that be a thing that's just horrifying for that to be an argument in a court of law there they literally believe that to be well i don't know if they believe it to be there's just that's the only defense that got james what else are they going to say? The prosecutor said again, normally you're not allowed to bring up victim sexual histories here. I don't get it. His wife, who, by the way, Dana and Terry, the Stubblefields, have reconciled. She said he believes that she comes back after the rape allegation.
Starting point is 02:49:24 She believes he is, quote, absolutely innocent. Oh, my God. She said there's no denying they had sex, but he didn't rape her. He didn't have a gun. Dana is 300-something pounds. I don't think he needs a gun to hold down somebody at all. He's not that kind of person.
Starting point is 02:49:37 He's a very sweet person. Yeah, okay. So the trials come out. Prosecutor said, I'm confident when you listen to and hear all the when you listen to her and hear all the evidence, you will find she did not have capacity to consent. And the defense obviously says the opposite. They said, quote, What is this case about? This case is about money for sex. That's what happened.
Starting point is 02:50:02 She was desperate for money, went to the home for a job, and entered into a sexual relationship. So, now, yeah, also, yeah, the prosecutor said a person with an IQ of 70 who is capable of consenting under peaceful circumstances can be unable in highly stressful situations, even if you say maybe she was capable. Also, there's body cam footage that the prosecution plays
Starting point is 02:50:29 from a Morgan Hill police officer's body camera during her initial interview, noting that she had trouble communicating and putting thoughts together clearly because she's got problems. But she was consistent about being sexually assaulted. He also cited that she received disability benefits, spent 20 years in special ed classes, and her text messages and online profiles exhibited the grammar of an early grade schooler. So, yeah, all that stuff here.
Starting point is 02:50:58 The prosecutor said there was never any discussion about sex for money ever. No means nothing to this defendant. Then another woman comes forward talking about 1996. Oh, yeah. A woman testified that Stubblefield sexually assaulted her in the back room of a bar slash restaurant called Capitola or in Capitola in 1996 after she asked for his autograph and he led her there. He said, yeah yeah come over here yeah the woman never reported the incident to police said stubblefield pinned her down on the ground and had his hands up her skirt and shirt when a bus boy came into the room at which point he stopped
Starting point is 02:51:36 cursed at her and went back to the bar so the victim the here testifiesifies. They get her on the stand. She testifies for five days, this poor girl. She said that they said, well, why did you even go over there? They texted. They said, why didn't you meet in a safe place? She thought Dana was a woman. She said, I wasn't worried about that because I thought Dana was a woman. So I just assumed I was going to a woman's house.
Starting point is 02:52:03 I thought I was a woman, so I just assumed I was going to a woman's house. I thought I was meeting with the mom. She said Stubblefield threatened her with a small black gun and pulled her clothes down. She described it as, quote, nasty. She said she's five, three and skinny, by the way, just to let you know the lack of physical agency she has in the situation. She goes on to say, quote, I said I want to go he said i kill you he a bad man oh no yeah she then said i was so scared um she described how he picked her up and put her on a bed she said i told him let me go i don't want sex i don't want no money. I told him no many times. So the defense contends she's faking your eye. This is all a speech impediment.
Starting point is 02:52:49 That's literally what they're telling the jury after she's up there for five days crying about being raped by a giant man sitting in the courtroom. It's an act. They have to, James. What else do they have? He has to feel like such a piece of shit saying that out loud, but he's got to say that. He has no choice. They brought his wife in there to say what a good guy he is. They found
Starting point is 02:53:12 some of her relatives and co-workers saying that didn't like her to say that she was fine, she has no disabilities or anything. Unreal. So the verdict comes in. Eight men and four women on this jury here. They come in and they find him guilty of raping and forced oral copulation on the woman here. The jurors found that he is guilty of using a gun during the sexual assault, which significantly increases his potential sentence.
Starting point is 02:53:44 Yeah, significantly, significantly increases his potential sentence. However, the jury rejected two other felony charges that Stubblefield exploited a woman who was mentally incapable of providing consent to sex, which was among the most egregious allegations made against him. That was just saying, yeah, we don't hands off on what we think of her development, but he definitely raped. development but he definitely raped also she did say no a bunch of times so it maybe that proves that she can't she can consent but she's also not consenting and she's saying it you know i mean so that that solidifies rape for sure yeah or there they could have been like split the difference type of thing juries are like that sometimes to get because it's a it's a compromise sometimes well i think this and i think that what if we do it this way and the jurors go fine i'll vote for that listen rape and the gun rape and a gun it's that's a lot of what else we jam on there he's staying for a long time he's remanded to jail after the verdict here and uh there's that um he's behind plexiglass too because this
Starting point is 02:54:39 is when covet is starting so the reactions the prosecutor argued from the beginning of the case that she obviously was disabled. He said, quote, all of the power dynamic was clearly stacked in the defendant's favor. It was in his home. It was in his on his turf, his rules. He took advantage of her and clearly preyed upon her based on her level of disability and the fact that she that he had her alone and didn't think she'd be able to report, didn't think she would be understood, and didn't think she'd be able to leave. Or didn't, yeah, didn't think she'd be able to leave. The jury spoke otherwise.
Starting point is 02:55:11 The defense attorney, on the other hand, didn't quite think that much. They were saying, we're going to appeal it. The prosecutor also said, we thank the victim for her courage and resilience and for coming forward and saying what happened to her and saying enough is enough. No doubt.
Starting point is 02:55:27 She's a fucking hero. She's fucking brave. And she even testified for five days. Unbelievable. Yeah. Now, the defense blames it on COVID. They said that the trial kept getting disrupted. So obviously, that's the problem.
Starting point is 02:55:42 He said, we're very disappointed in the verdict. We're going to continue to fight. Mr. Stubblefield is resilient and a strong person who believes the system will work. Then the lawyer went on. This is what is a Sawyer is this lawyer. He's an asshole. So we need Alan Sawyer, the lawyer. critical of how he and the other defense attorney Rosenfeld were hampered in their defense when the judge precluded them from making many references and introducing some testimony referring to the victim's sexual history. He's mad that they couldn't slut shame someone in a rape trial. That's what he's mad about. Like he never saw the accused or anything like what the fuck, bro. Shield laws prevent such testimony from being presented at a trial unless compelling evidence arises of an accuser's dishonesty of the whole thing so his statement is we should have been able to call her a bigger whore legally that's
Starting point is 02:56:37 we would have been fine um so stubblefield's attorney says it's littered with errors it's ridiculous he said quote they started the trial then the pandemic hit we already had a jury the government got to present a lot of evidence then they halted the trial for two months because of the pandemic he said that after that the jurors were anxious and distracted by possible covet exposures which led them to not pay attention essentially just want out of here it led to more delays uh yeah he said they then they started letting witnesses testify remotely we weren't allowed to sit next to our client we continually asked for a mistrial because it was not a fair environment because of the covid circumstances
Starting point is 02:57:15 yeah but you're not the only guy who did that every single person who had a trial then had the same restriction so it's not like you know what the fuck um his requests for a mistrial were denied sentencing comes around oh boy october 23rd 2020 so yeah the district attorney says quote no meant nothing to this defendant based on his status i think he was never held accountable for prior criminal behavior today he was properly held accountable. We can say the same thing. Today, he was properly held accountable. Alan Sawyer said the opposite.
Starting point is 02:57:52 He says, we are as adamant as ever that Mr. Stubblefield is innocent. The jury says, or judge, whatever, you, sir, may fuck off 15 to life. Unbelievable. 15 years to life, he oh man based on his history fuck you dude and he's gonna he's gonna have his appeals and all of that oh yeah there's no way you get out of this and after 15 years i hope they do not parole him i hope they hang on to him for 25 at least he's gonna he's gonna be a danger because he's been doing it for this long.
Starting point is 02:58:27 So, I mean, Christ Almighty, he was doing it for 20 years at that point. At least that we know of. Who knows what the fuck he was doing before that. Just an asshole always. Jesus Christ, being a dick. Can't get enough of Dana Stubblefield? Oh, man. Check out prison.
Starting point is 02:58:42 He's in there. Enjoy that. Or you can go to Sitter City and if you're looking for a babysitter, Jesus Christ, or you can get this gross and probably fake autograph of his on eBay for $30. It's a picture of him blowing through an offensive line, and it says Sears on it. It's like Sears made the picture for some reason, and it's got him on there, and it's $30. Free shipping, so yay. I don't know about to prison, though, if they'll ship free to there. Either way, that's Dana Stubblefield.
Starting point is 02:59:12 That is staggering. Absolutely staggering. I had no idea he did that. We're into the pure scum now, where you can swirl it around a glass and go, ah, that's pure scum. Look at how it coats the glass. Look at it. It's got legs. Oh, it coats it like chocolate go ah that's pure scum look at how it coats the glass look at it's got legs oh it coats it like chocolate milk that's amazing what an asshole that is dana stubblefield i'm pretty grossed out by it all thoroughly i had no idea he was such a big asshole yeah
Starting point is 02:59:37 i heard a few years ago about the rape thing i'm like really and then i didn't know it was a conviction and all that i must have missed it all i don't know how but uh people sent us stuff and i was like oh yeah he's still got that going on but man he's a mess so if you like that story well if you like the way we told that story no one should like that story but it's awful if you like the way we told it head over to wherever the fuck you're listening to this whatever app whatever platform and find a place to review it and give us five stars yes many as you can say that's all say something nice say he's a rapist and yeah jenny's a rapist jenny's a rapist forest was raped just for forest and then have a picture of that face he made with it. So do that.
Starting point is 03:00:25 Head over there. Give us five stars. Doesn't matter what you say. Also, follow us on social media at Crime and Sports on Twitter and Facebook at Small Town Murder on Instagram.
Starting point is 03:00:34 And in addition to that, you certainly want to head over to ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com where you can get everything for Crime and Sports and Small Town Murder, including tickets to live shows. There's even a Crime and sports with tickets available,
Starting point is 03:00:48 Sacramento in August, Ace of Spades. So buy those up. We don't want to hear you complaining that there's no live crime and sports is when there is one with fucking half the tickets sold when the crime and when the small town murder on the same night is sold out and has been since day one. So don't complain.
Starting point is 03:01:02 Anyway, get those tickets. That's how we sell tickets. Hey, fucker, complain. Anyway, get those tickets. That's how we sell tickets. Hey, fucker, quit pitching. Buy our tickets. Fuck you, buy a ticket. Fuck you, buy these tickets, you asshole. That's how we pitch, everybody.
Starting point is 03:01:16 And it works. We move tickets. We're sold out all over the country. Come on out. Anyway, do all of that. Patreon.com slash crime and sports is wild stuff this boy we have number one anybody over the five dollar level you get access to or five dollars or above you get access to crime and sports is small town murders bonuses the whole back catalog whole damn thing this week
Starting point is 03:01:39 amazing stuff for a special april fool's day episode because it's going to come out saturday right after that yeah we are going to talk about one of the better april fool's jokes ever played in the history of sports where they made the whole sports world believe from an article in sports illustrated it was george plimpton that did it they asked him to that there was a man somewhere in the mountains who threw 120 miles an hour and he signed with the mets and he's never like he pitches with no shoes on and like the whole fucking thing it's amazing and people bought it lock stock and barrel it was amazing he was the rage of the sports world hottest thing going nobody put it together nobody and then for small town murder we're going to talk about one of the
Starting point is 03:02:21 most despicable people i've ever seen in my life a woman named diane downs if you've heard the name it's because she shot her kids and then pretended some guy tried to take the car from her but she valiantly tried to fight him off and then got away in the car and all this shit it's a the story is ridiculous and the way she tells it is like how can you be serious right now? An harrowing tale of obvious bullshit. We're going to concentrate a lot on the Oprah appearance she made in like 1990 with Ann Rule, the true crime writer who wrote a book about her, where she argues with Ann Rule about court documents that Ann Rule has read and fucking copied. Exactly. It's ridiculous shit. You got to hear it.
Starting point is 03:03:03 His ex-coworker, right? Yes, exactly. That Ann Rule. we'll get to all that and more it's going to be so much fun patreon.com slash crime in sports and you will get a shout out here which we're going to get to and if you just want the shout out and great karma no problem there just head over to paypal and use our email address crime inports at gmail.com. That said, damn it, Jimmy, I need the list of the most wonderful people who would never, ever do any of the things that Davis Doublefield has done in his entire fucking life. Jimmy, hit me with that list.
Starting point is 03:03:41 This week's executive producers are Michelle Hansen, Cody Leversey in Michigan. Can't wait to see you, bud. Franny in London. Jordan Bennett. Colleen Miller. Francesco Danino. Kimberly Altaus. Altaus?
Starting point is 03:03:50 Altausi. Daniel Blackwell and Nicole O'Clair. Thank you guys. Truly, bottom of our hearts stuff. Holy shit. You get the point. Amazing people. Truly.
Starting point is 03:04:03 Other producers this week are the Twisted Mayor Mo Hair. Spalding Smales is in Caddyshack. That was the movie he was in. There you go. He ate boogers. There you go. Thank you. God, I hate saying those words. Larry Butterfast is in surgery this week.
Starting point is 03:04:13 Hang in there, Larry. It's over his foot, so I don't know what exactly he's doing. He might be getting a new foot. Let's hope you don't throw a clot, pal. Let's do it. Peyton Meadows, Olive Tits. Me too. Thomas Smith, Jeff Shrewsbury, James. Peyton Meadows, Olive Tits. Me too. Thomas Smith, Jeff Shrewsbury, James Marder, Buck Russell, Tarnia Goodsell's success, and
Starting point is 03:04:30 Rob Wilson's new glasses. Joey Pepperoni nips got a new mortgage. Brand new mortgage. He got a mortgage. Shiny new smelly one. Catherine Collado, happy hour checking in in Austin, Texas this week. Laura in Portland. Her boyfriend, YL, has been sitting on a relationship with her for six years.
Starting point is 03:04:48 What the fuck, YL? Shit, dude. Figure it out, man. Marry the woman. Step up. We'll do it for you. Stop with the free poon and pay up. We'll ask.
Starting point is 03:04:56 Pay up. Yeah. Let's go, motherfucker. Michelle Salazar, Rabbi Schittstein, Gwendolyn Steele, Susanna Platt, Janice Hill. The lease has come due. Davey loves gravy. Frank, the South African bird washer. Dixon
Starting point is 03:05:12 Sider. Are you proud of yourself, you son of a bitch? You're happy now. Judy Squatley, Jess Finch's mom. Dawn is having a birthday. Happy birthday, Dawn. JJ's Bizarre Crime Adventures. Jason Bateman's. Nope, Batman's. Oh, that's batman what the fuck i wrote it
Starting point is 03:05:32 bateman oh batman oh it's batman so when you see there's a new batman movie you're like oh there's a new bateman movie oh look jason bateman's got a new movie jason bateman's got a self-titled coming out good for him a little biopic jason batman's pocket robin forest that's what it is shailene moette alex presley uh hannah quinn jordan jonathan jonathan borden ken of kevin errington carla fowler uh t Whiting, Andrea Quiroz, Christopher Sainz, Roy Silves. Listen, he put Batman after Jason and expected me to say Batman. It's never happening.
Starting point is 03:06:23 Every time it's Jason Bat bateman i can't breathe somebody shined the bateman light who's my favorite shout out of all time he comes hey guys what's going on jobe god damn it jesus Job, goddammit, Jesus. Riley Dehia, Martin Allman, Audrey Stepp, Morgan Smith, Maria Angel Diaz, Jana Pochop, Christian Skeet, that's an unfortunate one, Amy Lux, Jesse, nope, that's Jess Bruin, William with no last name, Harrison Schaefer, Patty McCleskey, Katrina, yes, Susan Wathen, Tyler Summers, Richard Wilkinson, Kim the Head Bitch in Charge, Gilbert Contreras, Demon Hand 55, Jennifer Lincoln, Liam Pringle, Matt Hillegans, Jackson, Marissa, William L. Martin Jr., Monica Mars, TJT, Janelle Mazzara-Johnson, Spencer Morgan, Stephanie Dahlman, Carrie Countryman, Mark Albert. What? Wait, no.
Starting point is 03:07:31 Wait, what's his name? Alberts. No, Marv. God damn it. Marv Albert. It's Mark. All right. You mean Batman?
Starting point is 03:07:39 Is that who you're talking about on there? Is that Batman chiming up or is it? Okay. who you're talking about on there? Is that Batman chiming up? Okay. Jen Wayne Jiren. Jen with no last name.
Starting point is 03:07:49 Hunter Johnson. Margaret Martins. Brian Bagg. Lynn Milroy. Corey Hockenberry. Farron Lammers. Kelsey Booth. Ab Will.
Starting point is 03:07:59 Alexander McKeever. Will Coxon. Hillary Jorgensen. Michael Flanagan. Full Send 912. Midnight with no last name. Aaron Finneran, Jen Laundery, Jennifer Diaz, Lucas Salas, Susie Burrows, Jedediah Marquise Wu, Cody Walker, Cindy Cummings, BrutalButtslap, WhatDemiBones, Lindbergh, Ashley Lundy, Tanya Simmons, Bailey Gerard, Emily Matthews, Kaylee Esper, Emily Nix, Alex Gage, Mike Mast, Joel Adams, Corey Celeste, Bretton Burton, Bretton Bird Hurd, Jesus, Antagon Azrael, fucking what, Anta Joni, Alina, Alina Mallette, Matthew Ryan, Greg Hickson, Sean McNeil, Caroline Britton, Colton Bearden, Stephanie Lynn, Janelle Tamalea, Tamale, Josh Wood, Dana Jatch. I'm James Bill Parmesan. Nice to meet you. The Ear Rape Prevention Hotline, Christina Gogan, Grant Carter, Georgia The Athletic Bruco, from Athletic Bruco, Raymond Castellon, Paige Williams, Jason Pixler, Elisa Montoya Darling, Katie Gwynn, Travis James, Ryan Lally, Anthony Larson, Holly Bowen, Bad Attitude, Rebecca Feldman, T.C. Williams, Martina Martin, Sun V, DJ Tietzel, Shanna Graziano, Oh, my God.
Starting point is 03:09:42 You know, President Kennedy, he was one of my favorites. It was a real shame what happened to him i tell you what really takes the really takes all the achievement from him when you say john f kennedy john kennedy i don't think he's getting elected with kennedy as his last name i gotta be honest i don't think winrose fucking him either i don't know about the kennedy brothers i just they don't sound too hot anymore i think the canettis lose they sound italian at that point like they're the connecticut like from greece christy aaron ryan wiseman shannon jones kelly with no last name thomas b hoaring uh jesse wallace geneva reimer jake martin uh jody h susan stop madison walgamoth uh christian shambless uh Geneva Reimer, Jake Martin, Jody H., Susan Staub, Madison Walgamuth,
Starting point is 03:10:25 Christian Chambliss, Luis Lois, Lois Sandsbourne, Donna Smalley, Lana Brown, Deb Tidwell, Shelby Page, Callie Childress, Nikki Marie, Whitney Chandler, Aaron Duncan, Rowan with no last name, Big Puddin69, of course it's 69, Amanda Dominguez, Rory Hamilton, Daniel Doyle, Andy Newman, Josh McKeever, Patricia Bethune, Jonathan Gian, Heather Yeager, David Matthews, Jacob Hughes, Elizabeth Valen, Betsy Malding, Trevor Pentland, Carrie Lawrence, Fox Jackson, Aikens, Eileen Woodington-Scoggins, Taylor Shane Williams, Amy Aronson, Janessa Tyler-Basir, Hayden Smith, Sawyer Chefs, Stuart Collings, Jacob Weiss, Justin Platys, Tommy Lee, probably not, Jessica Szczeska, Julie Sager, Corey Young, SB, Susan Gundlach, boy, oh, boy, Ezra Taha, Eric Barnes, Keely
Starting point is 03:11:32 Urbanski, Anna Bandit, Julian Boylan, Diego Ramirez, and all of our patrons, you guys, especially the Kennettys, are amazing. Thank you, everybody. You wonderful, wonderful, wonderful people. Thank you so much for what you do for us. We really do appreciate it. We're pretty easy to find out there. If you want to find us, Crime and Sports hosts.
Starting point is 03:11:53 And it still should be just us in case anybody's trying to steal it this week. Who knows? Who knows? It could be another couple. Yeah, whatever. Who knows? Shut up and give me murder.com. You can find everything from there.
Starting point is 03:12:04 Find us. Follow us on social media. Do it up. And keep coming back live from the Crime and Sports studios. We will see you next week. Bye. Bye. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music.
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