Crime in Sports - #306 - Defying Logic, But Not Gravity - The Insensibleness of Zach Randolph
Episode Date: June 7, 2022This week, we look into the life of a man, was in trouble since middle school, and kept a steady pace of police interaction, through pretty much his whole life, so far. He came from bad circu...mstances, being called "crusty" as a kid, but used basketball to overcome that situation, making himself an extremely wealthy man, in the process. All of that, and he never left his friends behind. Which sounds nice, unless your friends continue to beat, shoot, attack, street race, and be accused of even worse. He never quite understands that each arrest made it a little harder to believe that he was trying to change!Get tired of your husky pants, with snaps for a button, work hard to make something of yourself, and make everyone think you're not only a moron, but a bad guy with Zach Randolph!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsports crimeinsports@gmail.com facebook.com/Crimeinsports instagram.com/smalltownmurderSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports!
Yay!
Oh yay indeed Jimmy. Yay indeed.
My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host.
I am Jimmy Wissman.
Thank you folks so much for joining us today on another crazy edition of Crime and Sports.
And it is a crazy edition today. Another wild one.
We've had a couple of kind of older guys.
Now we've got a guy that was playing in the league until about three years ago.
So it's going to be amazing.
And this is a good one, too.
He's got a great pace of arrests, what we're doing today.
It's just a—
Real consistent?
He's consistent.
On the floor, he's pretty consistent.
He's a basketball player.
On the floor, pretty consistent.
And also, you know, in the crime docket, also consistent.
You can count on him being there year after year after year
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That said, let's get started.
A lot of show before us.
A guy who's been around for a while and fucks up a lot.
Let's get to it.
Zach Randolph, everybody.
Oh, really?
Yeah, you know Zach Randolph.
Yeah, the vertical leap of a slug, basically.
Jimmy can outjump this man, I'm pretty sure.
The vertical leap of an earthworm.
He's a very, very intimidating fella.
He is.
He's a big, stocky guy.
I mean, he's a 6' six foot ten 280 pound stack of man i mean
yeah you're not a guy you'd you'd want to fuck with first and foremost number one he really
isn't uh zachary mckenley randolph is his name the least manly tough man it sounds like it sounds like a white kid with 14 food allergies doesn't
it like it sounds like a white kid that when he goes out to eat there's a the mom has to take the
waiter aside for like five minutes beforehand mckinley mckinley randall zachary mckinley randolph
yes very good it looks like that you can't make fun of his name no scary man no he will beat the
shit out of you as we'll find out in this episode he's born july 16th 1981 and he seems older for
some reason i don't know why but he's always younger really that is my fucking age james but
he looks like he's like, he looks older or something.
I don't know what it is.
He's got like an old face to him.
He does.
He's got an old face.
Even when he was younger, he looked like an old veteran.
And he was like 24.
And he looked like he was 38.
And he's trying to grind out a couple more years in the league.
And, you know, another payday.
In my head, he's got like the face of a Sharpay.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, the headband, too, kind of smooshes it.
Yeah, I guess that's what it is.
That's also part of it.
The headband doesn't help.
No, it doesn't.
It really doesn't.
Poor bastard.
Poor bastard.
He's born and married in Indiana, and he grows up damn poor.
His mom's name is Mae, Mae Randolph, M-A-E.
She raised four sons, and Zach is the oldest.
She had Zach when she was 16.
Oh.
So, I mean, yeah, Zach was, you know, she was a single mother.
His biological father, he'll have two people that we'll call his father here.
Oh.
First is his biological father, who he has nothing to do with ever.
Really?
His name is zachary johnson so
he's a you know not quite a junior but still named after his dad yeah it's a weird thing when
like back in the 80s like the kid got the father's last name that's just the way it was done in
society so to name the kid after the to actually the name you have a choice about, which is the first name.
You name that after the guy who left, but you don't like him enough to give that kid his last name, which is very odd.
It's just not done that way very often.
More often than not, they'll get the last name grudgingly, but they're not going to name the fucking kid after him, too.
On top of it.
This is a very mixed signal they're sending here.
It definitely is.
So she so there was not a real – he was gone, basically.
Had no relationship with him, even though he lived in Marion the whole time.
Really?
Still no relationship.
One time during his senior season when he was playing basketball, Zach,
his father approached him and hadn't talked to him
and tried to give him $100.
Like, here you go.
Here's for the last 17 years, I'm sure.
$100.
Is that about right?
You know, that's more insulting than anything.
Can you imagine that shit?
$100?
Motherfucker, are you kidding me?
You've got to be joking, bro.
That's amazing.
How old was he that time that's something like 17
that's some insulting shit sure in the fuck yeah what are you trying to pay back some shit like
you didn't even come up an apology you just were like what's up zach here's a hunt here's a fucking
benjamin fuck you here's a hundo son who are you who are you oh my dad who i don't yeah fuck you
bro so yeah that's, that's insulting.
That's almost.
Marion's not that big of a place.
They've likely been in the same grocery store or something at the same time.
You probably noticed because they were the only two guys looking over the aisles at each other.
Looking over the fucking cereal.
They can see over the healthy cereals up top.
They don't give a shit.
They can see the back stock. Yeah, they can see it the healthy cereals up top they don't give a shit they can see the backstop yeah they can see it all man they can see the four brand or whatever it's called they got all that up there poor bastard yeah so that you ever
seen you ever seen the godfather 2 i'm sure i have i don't recall the the whole thing but i've
seen i mean the godfather there's a scene in
a bar where frankie pantangeli is in the bar and it's kind of the other family there and they
they give him a c-note they slip him a hundred dollars and he goes how do you remember every
fucking character of every movie i don't know how you do it i've seen the godfather too like 700
times it's required it's the good one it's the better one but two one and two are both excellent
they're equal i think but it's it's you have to do that you don't know that i am not good at memorizing characters and
their names if you're italian like you have to sit they'll come to your house and make you do it
you have to sit down once a year and watch godfather one and two and goodfellas and then
you're like okay thank you and then you get it thanks guys and they leave and then you're free
for another year it's just required it's one of those things that happens.
So in Godfather 2, Frankie Pantangeli is sitting there.
They come up to him and they say, hey, they're trying to talk to him about something.
And they slip him a $100 bill.
And he goes, I don't like the C note.
I don't like that.
I take it as an insult.
And he throws it back at him.
Like, why the fuck are you giving me $100?
Like, I don't have $100.
Fuck you.
And then they try to strangle him.
And then a cop comes in
and interrupts it and they leave him lying there dying and then he ends up testifying later on but
they bring his brother from italy to sit there and stare at him and then he spooks him so he
doesn't do it it's fucking good anyway so okay that's a similar situation here except no one
was strangled and um yeah there was no one coming in from Italy to stare at him. So his mom says, Zach told him, I don't want your money.
And then he says about, she says about his dad, he's nothing to Zach.
Zach gets angry if I bring up his name.
Yeah.
So hates him.
He'll have another father figure, but he's never around either because he's in prison pretty much his entire life.
He hates it when she brings up his name, especially when she's just talking to him because it's the same fucking name.
That's the thing.
Yeah.
Your daddy's Zachary, I guess, is the one that's that's and that one's not good.
Can't do that.
So he had some problems right away.
Like he's got he seems to be for such a big guy.
He seems to be a bit of a follower.
That's the that's what I that's the what I'm getting here.
seems to be a bit of a follower that's the that's what i that's the what i'm getting here he's he'll be the leader of the group because he's the big guy and he's the guy with like that people has
talent and stuff but he's still kind of just he goes along with whatever the group wants though
he's he's that kind of guy he's not the guy who goes out for everybody well he's not the kind of
guy who goes hey stop fucking up because this is gonna fuck my shit up i'm trying
to go to college and do all this shit so don't do that while i'm around he'll be like okay let's go
do that like that's his type of thing he's just not like he's a follower and he doesn't want to
disappoint his friends and that's an issue for him his whole career i mean really up for years
for 30 years that's going to be an issue it's a problem jesus so our 25 years anyway
he ends up in when he's 14 years old well we'll do the football first he tried to play football
at one point because he's a huge fucking guy and uh they put him on the defensive line
and uh he lasted two practices he hated it he got pancaked by an offensive lineman, said, nope, I'm out of here.
Done with that shit.
That hurts.
Yep, done with that.
And basketball, he's a physical, intimidating presence in basketball.
But in football, he was like, nope, that's a little too much contact.
I don't want any part of that shit.
I blend in way too much here, and they're bigger than me, surprisingly.
This is not good here.
So he went to do that he ended up playing some
basketball i guess there was a group a guy named mitch mitch uh stern is a guy who kind of helps
coaches kids play basketball here or playing basketball he said he approached a group of kids
young teenagers 12 13 years old right and was offering them pointers and shit. They were playing a game of pickup basketball.
And, you know, he was saying, hey, you should try that.
And he knew what he was talking about.
So they were like, oh, this guy's like a coach or something.
So he gave the kids his phone number and said, if you want to get a team together, I'll coach you.
I'll help you out.
If not, fuck it.
So here you go.
So the kids ended up calling back.
Fuck it.
So here you go.
The kids ended up calling back, and he sponsored a group,
was coached a group, got a sponsor and all that kind of shit.
They'd all pile into his fucking car to drive to games.
It was a nice thing.
He didn't diddle any of them as far as I know.
That's helpful. As long as he doesn't diddle anybody, this is a fine thing to do.
Hell of a guy, yeah.
But just as someone to approach strangers
children at a park and offer them help i i can't help but thinking there's something down the line
that they want like no one's that night good right generally yeah i just i can't believe it
the the percentages are so even if it's 50 50 that's too much of a chance to take i can't i
can't see nine good people to every one pervert in this situation
right yeah it's at least it's at least 50 50 if not worse so i don't like this anyway um randolph
though he they said he he worked pretty hard he wouldn't he taught him a lot of footwork because
he's a big guy footwork's important down low in the post the coach said i never had a problem once
with zach we worked hours and hours on that jab step, pull back, and shoot the jumper.
That little left-handed hook and all the post moves.
So, yeah, that's what they did.
He got teased, though, not only in basketball but outside of it.
Crazy that you tease this guy, but he's huge.
But his friend on the team remembers that the whole team would
tease him because even though he was the tallest player he could barely touch rim and he couldn't
dunk oh no he has terrible ups dude it's he has an awful vertical leap i've seen i was at a suns
game jesus it must have been i don't even remember fucking 2009 10 10 later on. I don't know.
He was playing with Memphis is all I remember.
And the sons were playing Memphis and he was on the floor and our seats were
kind of like decent seats.
It was,
somebody gave them to us for some shit.
I don't remember,
but we were down low where you could really see the guys and you could get a
sense of their athleticism.
When you see a guy like get a ball off the board and dunk it like,
and you're down at their level,
you're like, holy shit, that guy flew into the air.
That's really awesome.
He just hung there fucking four feet in the air for a while and then dunked it.
That's crazy.
Zach Randolph, I remember going, oh my God, he doesn't even jump.
When he jumps, his toes are still touching the ground, dude.
It's fucking crazy.
It's crazy how little athleticism he has.
It's wild, dude.
Never seen anything like it before in an NBA player.
One time, an opponent was shooting free throws.
Randolph ended up, the ball came off and he leapt up to get it
and grabbed the rim to try to dunk it back in
and just fell on the floor and hurt himself, basically.
There's nothing better than watching an unathletic missed dunk.
He didn't even get close.
He just barely grabbed the rim.
He held on to it for a second, which made his balance go crooked, and then he fell down.
Yeah, because his feet came out from underneath him fell down yeah because he doesn't have enough i remember that in like eighth grade it was like that i was
trying to like when you'd grab the rim it was like oh shit that's awkward i needed to have a growth
spurt to fucking be able to really you know not be dangerous about it so he at one point they let
him play point guard i guess he had been begging to play point guard.
Really?
For some reason.
They let him play point guard, and his coach, the Sturm guy, said, quote,
you can imagine how slow Zach was bringing the ball up the court.
Of course.
He's a big slow guy. He said, so when I say we were in fast break mode, I use the term very loosely.
As fast as we can, Mike.
They said he was doing like no look magic johnson
passes and throwing him off and fucking off the court and shit i mean he's trying to be magic
johnson um he ended up shooting up about five inches between eighth grade and his freshman
year that's when he became which is exactly what happened to me that's exactly the time that that
happened mine was between seventhth and 8th.
Was he 6'7 or 6'8?
How big is he?
He's 6'9, 6'10, Zach Randolph.
Jesus.
Yeah, he grows to be.
So, yeah, eventually he joined the AAU team in Indianapolis,
and they said, the coach, Pat Mullen, said,
with young kids, sometimes you've got to give them an opportunity.
How are they going to get better if you don't give them an opportunity?
And I think some people didn't have that feeling in marion um yeah so he said i didn't realize later on he said that the coach stern said that zach could eat like a maniac
everybody says his appetite is amazing i believe it this guy said that he sat in amazement as he
watched him eat candy popcorn hot dogs all this shit and then
go out and dominate the game awful food and then go run on that belly yeah he said quote i didn't
realize that you could buy buy wings by the 50 until i went out to eat with young zach 50 because
that's how he would eat them um now their family was really poor it It's just mom. Dad's in jail. His stepfather, who he calls his dad the whole time, is in jail most of his childhood.
Mother, four kids, struggling in a low-income area, and they're on welfare a lot of the time.
And he said that he wore the same pair of jeans every day to school all the time because he had, like, one pair of jeans that fit him well.
It sucks being poor when you have growth spurts that sucks yeah it's bad when you're like i need more clothes like now you don't understand man like this isn't a matter of fashion
it's a matter of high water like help me high water and the snap keeps coming undone because
you won't buy me buttons it I got the snap huskies.
That's the worst.
I'm busting out of my huskies, everybody.
Help me.
Busting out of my husky pants.
I'll never forget that.
The story.
Making my mom buy me more expensive jeans just because my belly was too fat to hold the snap.
I have skinny legs.
I just keep popping on you.
Yeah.
I sit down and just hear a pop.
Shit.
Ah, damn it.
That's the Zach Randolph story, by the way.
Busting out of my husky pants.
The Zach Randolph.
Busting out of my husky snaps.
Busting out my huskies.
I like that.
Busting out of my husky snaps.
Incredible.
He said, wearing the same pair
of jeans all the time the kids used to call them names they called him crusty a lot oh no you don't
want to be crusty that's not a good name to be the crusty kid no they called him crusty and so
according to him uh here when he's 14 years old well we know this happened but these are the
reasons why he said he did it uh he's 14 years old in 1995 he's embarrassed he said and pissed off that everybody calls him crusty and
he has no clothes so and he can't even get hand-me-downs because he's the one to hand them
down he's the oldest so he's got to take the brunt of it oh god so he went into a walmart
and tried on a new pair of jeans and just tried to walk out with them
on.
I'm wearing these jeans now.
And he was caught for it and ended up spending 30 days in juvenile detention for this.
30 days for a pair of jeans?
Which seems really excessive for a fucking kid's first offense for stealing.
Take it easy, Sam Walton.
He's a kid.
He's 14.
Pressing hard charges i could see if he's like you know got a long record of this shit but he doesn't like he's just a crusty
kid walmart walmart insist on calling it uh aggravated robbery or something yeah i don't
know what the fuck did he i can't imagine why you'd get 30 days in juvie for that other than that's silly. That sucks, man.
That really does suck.
And also he gets later on in 1997 when he is 16.
He ends up he gets in a fight with somebody in a public place.
He's the younger of the kids actually in the fight.
But he's also the bigger of the kids because he's the bigger than most people.
He's, you know, the top.
Oh, oh, one percent of sized people on Earth. Biggest people. Right. the bigger of the kids because he's the bigger than most people he's you know the top 001 percent
of sized people on earth biggest people right gonna be the big guy most of the time so he ends
up being arrested for this in uh august of 1907 on a charge of battery right yeah battery and i
don't know what larceny? Yeah. Grand Theft Auto?
Grand Theft Wrangler, I believe, was the charge.
They got him on a Grand Theft Wrangler. With a pants the size of a car, you can hit him with Grand Theft Auto.
That's what it is.
I think when they charged him, they were reading the report and thought it was a Jeep Wrangler,
and they just charged him extra.
That's why he got 30 days.
They were like, oh, a pair of Wranglers.
Damn it.
We thought he took two Jeeps. Oh, Christ were like however he did that he's a he's a menace he came back and got
another one the balls on this kid someone's got to stop him so now he's got battery yes his coach
uh Mo Smedley at Marion Indiana High School he said this sums up Zach from what he says, quote,
the problem is some people have taken advantage of him being so personable.
He just can't say no.
That's the problem.
He wants to show his friends, too, how he's down for them.
That's the other thing.
There's a yes.
Well, there's a thing, too, that you get where if you grow up poor and you have a bunch of your friends around you and then you're making it and none of them are making it.
Sure.
You have this thing where, well, if I don't take you with me and act like I'm still with you, then I'm a sellout.
You know what I'm saying?
So that's a thing that people get.
So then they end up with these people around to show how much they didn't sell out.
You know, that's a show that they're still real rather than being like yo you know you should work on your jump shot like i get helping
people and i'm not saying not to help people if you got people who need help someone's mom's sick
or somebody needs great yeah help your friends out but you don't need to take them to live with you
in some nba city yeah there's a level to call the crib yeah call the crib same number same hood
no no don't absolutely not you can call it but i won't fucking be there not in that one that i was
in before the fuck out of here with that shit no that's not no there's a level of that that you
gotta be at for like uh humility i guess in his that's how he feels but no man no you can't you stay where it's good you're gonna
be in trouble those are gonna be two things it's not right man yeah you go where it's good and you
stay there you don't fucking take I like I said I get and if there's some people that you think
actually are on your level and are trying to whatever they need an opportunity yeah fucking
help those people you can bring those yeah but when you just have a crew and you're like everybody's
coming with me yeah that's a little – you're asking for trouble there.
Like I said, I love the thought behind it.
In a perfect world, that would be great.
And then all of them would get opportunities and then everybody would be living great and everything's going well.
But in reality, you just get a bunch of people that fucking drain you of your money and live off of you and get you in trouble and you know there's stories in the press and it's not even your fault you know shit
like that so people who don't know the value of a dollar who are uh because you're just giving it
to them yeah you're parenting them at that point that's the thing yeah when when your friends come
to you because they need money like on a regular basis then yeah then that's not a friend relationship anymore it's a parent relationship yeah that's that's an issue so his dad here roger
brewer is his dad that he calls his dad that's the other guy he second stepdad that's the first
the first that's the first the only other the only other one there's real dad who tried to give him
a hundred dollars and then there's ro Brewer who he calls his father and
that's how that goes. So,
Roger Brewer, while Zach was in
school, from
5 years old to 13 years old
as he puts it, he was in jail.
He said, I was locked up when Zachary was 5
to 13 years old. So,
that's, you know, that's tough.
He said, quote, I was never
there to teach him right from wrong or to give him money so he didn't have to steal those pants like the other kids had.
Yeah.
That's tough, man.
Yeah.
I would feel bad as fuck if I was sitting in jail and my son got arrested for stealing pants because I'm not there to buy him pants.
I would feel fucking bad.
Like, I know I left them in a tough situation where they couldn't afford pants.
He can't afford walmart pants yeah
you know what i mean that's what i mean like he's it's not even like he's yeah he didn't go to gucci
and fucking right you know shoplift and tommy hill figure no 97 he went to wall he went he said
what's the what's the most acceptable like level of theft i'm willing to do like right it's i mean
it shows a little bit of humility and humbleness to steal from walmart and go. Because if you're going to steal jeans, fuck, get the best jeans.
But he was like, I'm not going to go too crazy.
I'm just going to want some ones that aren't crusty.
That's all I'm going for.
He takes one candy when it says take one candy.
Dude, if I was like the manager of a Walmart and there was a 14-year-old, 13-year-old kid stealing a fucking pair of jeans.
And he had like some shit crusty jeans on.
And he's stealing a pair of fucking not anything expensive he's not
stealing video games or some shit like that
that's for fun this is clothing
food clothing shelter those are your
you know what I'm saying like I would
have I would fucking I you know
I don't know man like let's all chip in a buck
and get these kids this pair of jeans and not arrest
him what do you say you know what I mean I don't
know maybe that gesture will help in the future.
Maybe he'll go, oh, fuck, man.
I don't want to steal from people.
That's not cool.
You never know.
You never know what a gesture like that could do.
The whole staff, a buck apiece, you could have got this kid.
As soon as you sit him down and say, why are you stealing?
And he says, because the pair of jeans that I'm wearing right now
are the only ones I own.
And people call me Krusty.
That's why. But as soon as I heard that,'d be like oh for christ's sake get your crusty ass out of my
office and take those jeans with you please i'll take it out of my paycheck fuck dude i'd feel
terrible yeah so anyway his dad here says quote despite not having much support at home even
though his mother is a good lady she has a better head on her shoulders than i do he said um then they talk about his brother roger he's got a brother named roger who's an
amazing athlete we'll talk about but roger's got a lot of fucking problems and we'll get the full
the full arc of roger over the course of the story as well um he says about roger this is dad quote
roger's a better athlete and might be a better basketball player but he won't
be as successful as zach will zach's a good kid who has made mistakes roger would rather be a thug
out here on a corner with these other kids i worry about him but not about zach he said that in the
newspaper about his son who was like unbelievable his son was like 15 at the time and he said that
about him my son's a my son's a thug we ain't gonna amount to shit
like he's a sophomore maybe fucking try i don't know i already see it it's in his eyes i mean
shit yeah there's nothing you can do about it i guess by the time they're 15 remember season four
of the wire yeah but too late and they're long gone too late so um anyway it's actually not but
you can fucking i don't know maybe try i don't know, maybe try. I don't know, a little bit.
I would say 25 is not too late.
Now that you're out of prison, try.
Try with this guy.
Yeah.
So August 1998, Zach is 17 years old, and he has a son himself.
Oh, my.
Zach, what?
Zach has a son himself.
His name?
No way.
Well, it's close. This is zachariah he he found a
junior loophole right there he sure did he found a junior loophole that's fucking wild just another
way to call him zach but not hit him with zachary that is weird on the end yeah that's so fucking
weird zach you're still Zach but Zachariah instead
is it McKinley I don't know
what the middle name is but I hope it is
if it's just
McKenna McKenna Raya
if if it's McKinley
I'm calling that junior I'm sorry
we still call him Zach the Raya
and Ari doesn't fucking matter to me
Ari or Ari is not the important part
fuck that so Araya and Ari doesn't fucking matter to me. Araya or Ari is not the important part.
Fuck that.
So Marion High School, where he plays basketball, has a very good tradition of winning here, apparently. They've won, at this point, when he's in 1999, 2000, they had won six state titles already.
So that's big.
They won three straight state titles from 85 to 87 in indiana yeah indiana is like
they're crazy for basketball in indiana it's known as like for years they always said there's more
hoops than people in indiana it's just the way it is like they're fucking crazy the movie hoosiers
came out in what 86 about how crazy they are about basketball in Indiana. So for this team to win state titles three years in a row, that's incredible.
That's incredible in Indiana.
Great competition.
Now, Brewer, the father, he says, Roger Brewer, he says, quote,
if you're a black man in this town, you better be a good basketball player.
Otherwise, a lot of people will look at you as just another black person up to no good.
That's why I can't wait for
zachary to get out of here he keeps saying that yeah he keeps saying that um and then he said
they asked him about the now zach's got a son he's got to watch out for and he said this quote
i told him you better not have another one until you're married yeah it's enough goddamn kids for
you he says zach's biggest problem isn't that he's a bad kid.
It's that he trusts people too much around here, which that's exactly what the other guy.
Like, it's everybody has the exact same fucking thing about him that knows him well and has been around him.
Yeah.
Good guy.
Nice guy.
When his friends are around, run for the fucking hills, basically.
But it's fascinating.
You know, they don't expect him to be that way because that's i guess what you're not supposed to do but some kids when you don't have
uh the father you latch on to dad's in jail mom's at work yeah where who who's your who you around
what am i gonna piss them off and then they're not around and i'm already lonely you're the
oldest sibling so you hang out with your fucking kids kids, younger siblings that are way younger than you.
That's boring.
You don't want to do that.
You're going to look for – I get it.
It happens, man.
So he plays for Marion High School here.
As a sophomore, he led them to the 4A championship game.
They lost the game, but they went all the way there.
As a senior – we'll talk about that in a second, too,
because there's some trouble in his junior year, as we'll talk about.
As a senior, he led the team to the state championship game,
and they won their seventh state title with him there.
He finished second in Indiana's Mr. Basketball voting that year
behind Jared Jeffries, who, as we know, went on to play.
Was he playing for U of A,
I believe? I don't know.
I want to say. I think he did.
Yeah, I think he went on to play for a big-time college program.
So, anyway,
yeah, because Jeffries ended up on
the Knicks later on. Really? Yeah.
So he definitely played in a big college program.
He was in the fucking NBA.
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So 1999 problems are mounting here.
There's already a buzz on Zach that he's got issues
because he got in a fight, who cares,
and then he stole a pair of jeans when he was 14.
Who gives a shit?
Like, I don't care about any of that shit if I'm a...
In reality, does that matter? Any of that stuff not particularly no and when you're a big
guy in high school people will fucking try to try you and yeah you never know if he had to shut
somebody the fuck up you know who knows what happened so um anyway uh the problem is in
february here of 1999 he ends up having to plead guilty to two counts of receiving stolen property.
Oh, boy.
And that's a big break, by the way,
because what he ends up getting charged,
what the crime is,
could have been worse than that.
So anyway, after that,
he ends up going to the Nike All-America
basketball camp and all this type of shit.
But every article about him is like,
hey, this great player, but blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah.
Here's his past.
Here's what he did.
He he pleaded guilty here.
Basically, he he had a couple of guns that we'll talk about.
That was the problem.
Yeah, he's being recruited hard by pretty much everybody.
Michigan State, the hardest, the hardest though for somebody they're
really after him um but it's getting it's getting rough uh basically he he said he isn't sure later
on he'll say he wasn't sure why he accepted two guns from a friend of his jesse rosales in the
park in marion just before christmas but he sold one of the guns for $120,
and he put the other one in the trunk of his mother's car,
and then later on someone got busted,
and it got traced back,
and then the cops go after Zach,
and he ends up getting caught and all that kind of shit. So he told the judge here that he didn't know the guns had been stolen
from the gun barn in Jonesboro
Indiana
somebody broke in stole a bunch of guns from a gun store
and was selling them on the street
he bought two of them and fucking sold one
of them and kept the other you know I mean it's
but in court when you say well
I didn't know they were stolen I just thought a guy
had a trunk full of guns
the judge said quote did you
think Rosales was the gun
fairy when judges make sarcastic comments like that you're not it's not going well just a tip
for everybody out there the gun fairy so he is sentenced to here. You, sir. Are you young man?
I guess.
Hey, fuck off.
40 days in juvie in juvenile detention with 10 of the days suspended.
He gets locked up for, I guess, 15 days right away and then 11 more days after he finishes his junior year.
I guess because it was over.
They did it like on school vacation so he could still go to school.
He was permitted to play basketball at a tournament in Colorado Springs from June 23rd to 27th
and also to leave Marion to go to Indianapolis to play.
And that's how it goes.
They also said he's done 51 hours of his 60 community service hours that he was sentenced to at that point.
And he did it mostly in a soup kitchen where he said he served food.
And he learned a lot.
And I was like, well, you know what it's like to be poor.
That's not the lesson you need to learn.
What he learned was hopefully don't buy guns from people when they're great deals on the street.
They're probably they got bodies or they're stolen.
One of the two.
Yeah.
People don't just sell guns for a great price at a park for no reason that's usually that's rare like you know
what no one says i gotta get i gotta sell this you know we're all get top dollar for it down at
the park no one says that in between pickup games i feel like maybe a little fire sale at half court
maybe a child will buy it awesome And then you sell it to him.
I mean, Zach, in that guy's defense, Zach, even if he didn't know Zach, Zach looks 34 at this point. So the judge rules against.
He's weird.
He looks both young and he looks both like a baby and an old man at the same time.
He looks like an old baby.
Yeah.
Depending on the angle you look at him or what you're looking for.
How sweaty he is. He looks like an old baby. Depending on how you – yeah, depending on the angle you look at him or what you're looking for. How sweaty he is.
He looks like an elderly baby.
Yeah.
Very strange looking man.
Just weird.
Not an ugly guy either.
Just an elderly baby.
It's strange.
So the judge ruled against allowing Randolph to serve his time on weekends during the school year because he said, this isn't even your first arrest.
This is your third major deal here.
So his probation, which prohibits him from leaving Marion,
makes exceptions for basketball.
But he says that he can't wait for his probation to be over on his 18th birthday.
He said, quote,
it's embarrassing to talk about the stupidest thing I've ever done.
I'm looking forward to the day when people will stop asking me about my past, but I'm
not sure if that day will ever come.
You've got hasn't come yet.
Zach, we're here.
Pretty serious charges.
Zach.
Yeah.
Well, the one was not serious.
One's not so bad.
Yeah.
But the second and I can let the second go.
I'll let the second.
I'll let a fight go all day.
I got a lot of fights when I was a teenager.
Fine.
The problem is they're escalating rapidly.
The guns is you don't need
to be touching guns at that point there you some there's people who go yeah sure i'll fuck with
stolen guns in a park and then there's people who go and i want to touch those don't get my
fingerprints near those fucking things zach's going the wrong way yeah yeah he said quote i
shouldn't have been nowhere around those guns i made a poor decision and it will never happen
again i guess it was one of, there was 20
guns stolen from the gun store in total.
By the way. Oh my.
He said, it was so stupid
I still can't believe I did it. I refuse
to blame anybody for what I did and I'm sorry
for what I did, but at the same time
I can't dwell on it forever. I have to
keep it in my past and move forward
to the great things that are waiting
for me.
That's what he has to do.
I'm good now.
All right.
Fine.
Which he's 17.
He's fine.
We're not.
He shouldn't not be.
We're not throwing Zach away at all here.
He said, being in the center was a bad experience, but I looked at it as a learning experience.
I made a mistake.
I dealt with it, and I kept my head high.
So, I mean, maybe your head should be a little less high at this point is what we're saying a little little um i'm a moron would help here head down focus on what you want to do as a kid
a little bit as a kid but i mean shit it's this it's crazy when we talk about like boxers and
shit like there's never like hey calm down because they're not we don't care about
school for them you know what i'm saying like you're going to get beat in the head anyway
do we even i don't even know if last week i don't even know if chuck wepner graduated high school i
know he went to the marines or some shit but who knows how he got there like we don't know he could
have been a huge jerk off but uh he wasn't like in the spotlight of high school sports. So it was hard to tell.
So this is his coach here.
His coach said a guy's trying to get rid of the guns and Zach takes three of them home.
Zach isn't going to go out as a junior in high school and start using assault rifles.
His idea was he was going to sell these and give some money to his mom.
OK, he said the police show up at his doorstep,
and to show you how he didn't think he did anything wrong,
the police say,
Hey, Zach, we understand you're in possession of some stolen merchandise.
What do you have to say?
And he goes,
Well, yeah, it's right over here.
He goes and shows them the weapon sitting there.
He says,
I'm sorry. He thought they were going to give him a slap on the wrist.
Well, being used to being pampered doesn't mean that you're fucking that you didn't think you did anything wrong.
You just thought you'd get away with it.
He's a kid.
So he was too stupid to realize that trafficking and stolen guns is actually a big crime.
Yeah.
He didn't like notice that.
He was just like, I'm sorry.
Here you go.
My bad.
Realize the danger in that.
Yeah.
So, I mean, I started out like a like a math, like a math word problem. Yeah. That goes to the park and buys three guns. He buys two guns. He sells one gun for one hundred twenty dollars, puts one gun in the trunk of his mother's car. How many guns will Zach have once the police arrest him? How many years does that get for that?
get for that so he ends up being not being allowed to play for his most of his junior season because of this they kick him off the team um yeah people it's weird too because the guy said the coach said
he remembers getting criticized from different people some people thinking that he shouldn't
have even been allowed on the bench at all to play because he would like still be with the team but
in street clothes and he wasn't allowed to play.
Other people said he never should have been kicked off the team.
They should have embraced him and let him play and all this shit.
So he comes back for his senior year,
and they're going to let him play for that.
So all of that here.
He said that people would bring signs with jail bars when he started playing after he came back.
So he'd go over and joke around with them,
and then by the end of the game, they'd his fans that's what the coach says he tries to give some humor
to people it's not bad he issues a big apology for it um he issued a big apology his mother said
quote his mother was pissed off his mother said i was hurt i didn't want to believe it was him
i was sick and crying i was was crying for him. Oh.
I feel bad for his mom.
So, but now she said, it's all different in senior year.
Shit has changed.
She said, quote, he comes home from school and he doesn't hang out.
That's it.
He even thought about leaving Marion, but they think they're going to stay there and whatever.
Yeah.
His mom said there's been talented guys. Oh, no, this is a coach. There been talented guys who've come for marion who got into trouble who haven't made it i don't
want to be labeled as just another marion thug that's zach talking so he wants yeah he's got
problems he wants out but it does not stop the college recruiters though that's the thing none
of these things stop the college recruiters at all fuck no especially tom iso from michigan state he's like i don't give a fuck if that guy killed five old ladies
he's a rebounder we need a rebounding force down low also uh michigan's a little dangerous in some
areas we could probably use him he's not a bad kid either that's the thing he's not a bad everybody
says a real nice kid he's not a shithead he's not a bad kid you just get him outside with his
friends and anything is possible.
He could end up in the wrong place at the wrong time.
So dumb shit would be better than bad kid, I would call him at this point.
Tom Izzo said to him, he wrote him a letter and said, quote, you know how we feel about you.
Oh, boy.
Wow, that's a love letter.
That's a love letter, yeah.
That sounds like something.
You know how I feel about you.
I have made it clear over these many years, you know, you don't seem to feel the same about me, but I'll still be here.
You know, this is like some unrequited fucking dude writing to a chick in prison.
Check a box.
Oh, yeah, check a box.
I still can't believe that you could go any place that wants you more or to a place that has more time in recruiting you than we have.
I'm saying you're going to love it here.
He ended up, Zach, had two huge cardboard boxes filled with letters from colleges.
Just huge boxes full of fucking letters.
Hundreds of these letters here.
He was considering Michigan State, Purdue, UConn, Syracuse, Miami, Marquette, Tennessee, Massachusetts, and West Virginia.
Good teams.
Yeah, these are all tournament teams a lot of the time.
They said that the first day you could start recruiting kids was on June 26th.
That's when the college coaches are allowed to start calling them.
So 7 a.m. June 26th is when he got, got like the phone just started ringing off the hook yeah that's
fucking wild man um he said though that michigan state was the first school to show interest in him
when he was just a sophomore he said that's why i give michigan state so much respect they were
the first big time program to call my coach and i'll never forget that so yeah he's uh michigan
state's always the first school he talks about when he talks about all the ones he's considering.
Yeah. He says a lot of people are from Michigan State and other ones are other schools.
Their alumni are lobbying the coaches to not recruit him because they're saying he's a bad kid, which is pretty fucking stupid.
Honestly, he said, but I guarantee if somebody spent a couple minutes with me, they wouldn't think I was a bad kid or a thug. I wonder if people who look down on me never made a mistake in their life or know a good person who did.
I realize the mistake I made wasn't a small one, but I've learned a valuable lesson from it that has changed the way I carry myself.
I've learned to stay away when I think trouble is coming and to stop hanging out in general.
I have just started to learning to say no to people.
I can't throw away a chance to go to college like I almost did.
He's saying all the right things.
Then he said, I'm not a bad guy.
I was a little kid when those things happen.
A big little kid.
You were a junior in high school.
It's not a little kid.
Calm down.
Calm down.
The jeans thing.
I'll give you a little kid on that.
You were like 13, 14. I'll give you that.
But you're a junior. You've gotten a
blowjob by then.
You've got a baby. You're the star
basketball player. This was right before that.
If you're the star basketball player,
you've got, when all the crimes happen,
you've gotten a blowjob.
When he was 17, he had a baby, didn't he?
Yeah, but he got busted with the guns when he was 16 so okay got it yeah so he's talking about that so you know you're not
a little kid if you've gotten a blowjob before that's when your little kid status ends the first
time you go oh my god this is the greatest thing that's ever happened in the world you're not a
little kid anymore you guys it's so wet and warm in there. Look at this.
I finally found out what my special purpose is for.
I want you guys to see this.
I really do.
It's amazing.
It's incredible.
So one coach said, quote, he's the number one post player available this year.
He's the consummate power forward.
What he does in the low post doesn't happen much anymore.
He's a strong guy who moves inside, is what he is.
They said that you can't stop him if he gets the ball within 15 feet of the basket.
He's got a jumper.
He's inside, and he overpowers people on the glass.
He says, quote, God gave me this body, so I better use it.
I don't like to brag, but I don't think anybody can stop me in the post. That's a fun sentence. Doesn't like to brag. God gave me this body, so I better use it. I don't like to brag, but I don't think anybody can stop me in the post.
That's a fun sentence.
Doesn't like to brag. God gave me this body.
You look in the mirror and say that sometimes?
God gave me this body.
Every day.
And now I know why I'm an atheist.
God gave me this body, that motherfucker.
That son of a bitch.
God gave him his body, that motherfucker.
That son of a bitch.
He was at the USA Basketball's Men's Youth Development Festival in Colorado Springs, Colorado. In 26 minutes, a game over these tournament, or whatever the fuck it was, series of games,
he averaged 20.5 points and 19.5 rebounds with two steals and two assists.
Wow.
Dominating.
In the 2000 McDonald's All-American game, he was the MVP of the game.
Is that right?
With 23 points and 15 rebounds.
Holy shit.
I mean, that's the best high school players in the country.
And it's not bad.
Problem is, he has a hard time satisfying academic requirements to get into a college.
He has a 2.2 grade point average, he took the sat twice but he never reached the
940 score to be eligible back then you had to get a 940 on your sats so he says though that he's
confident that he'll do well enough when he takes it again he's going to take it again in october
he says quote i'm going to get it this time i I'm going to go hard. That's his quote.
Yeah, that's it.
His coach says, quote, oh, no, this is his gym rats coach.
He's a fun-loving kid who made a mistake, and now he's paying for it.
I know he's going to be a better person.
There's a lot of remorse on Zach's part now that word has spread.
So the NCAA decides they're going to let him play anyway.
Okay.
Okay. It. Okay.
It's weird.
They said no, and then he appealed it, and then they said, all right, fine, you can play.
Because of the grades, that was the problem.
So he was granted, apparently, he was granted freshman eligibility even though he was 20 points shy of the necessary sat exam score so there was a big kerfuffle over 20 points on an essay extra credit on the 20 points they should he should
have just made a speech look i'm go i'm only going till i can get drafted in the nba i don't care
about this this isn't why i'm going here i'm fine i won't drag the gpa down of everybody around me
i'll be out soon. It's fucking stupid.
He said that he worked hard to raise his grade point average to a 2.7, his high school coach said, and he worked extra hours with counselors and was tutored by a Marion student who got a perfect score on the SAT.
But he couldn't quite crack it there.
So for a minute there, when the appeals are going through, he starts saying, maybe I'll just go right to the pros.
That's an option.
Fuck it. He almost did
it, actually, but his mother, May, actually
stopped it from happening.
There was agents at his house, Carl and Kevin
Poston. They're Penny Hardaway's
old agents at this point. They had
contracts in their hands, representation
contracts, sitting at the kitchen table
in May's kitchen there.
And Zach says, quote, I was about to sign, but my mom said,
I don't think that this is a good idea.
You need to go to school.
Those guys had the papers right there on my kitchen table
in a house that was no bigger than this trainer's room,
which is the room he was sitting in when he was being interviewed.
My mom kept saying, I don't think you should do that.
So I looked them in their eyes and I said, I can't do it.
That was a big moment.
So he decides to go to college.
They let him in, and he goes to Michigan State.
Really?
Yep.
They were after him since he was a sophomore, and that was what came through.
With a 2.7.
That's it.
He's going.
He raised it to a 2.7.
So 2000, 2001, Michiganigan state they had won the national
championship the year before by the way okay so he's he's coming on to a you know i mean yeah
walking on fucking air here these people yeah this is this is tough though it is it's a tough
thing to go into he they go 28 and 5 in the regular season though not bad yeah this jason
richardson is on this team too is that right yeah and charlie bell as well so you got charlie bell jason richardson zach randolph on a on a squad so i mean stuff to
lose it's gonna be a pretty good uh pretty good team there not too shabby so they go first round
of the of the tournament they beat alabama state they're a number one seed so they kick the shit
out of a 16 seed 69 to 35 they're lucky they got 35 alabama score alabama state scored
35 points in a tournament game that's like your game that's a high school girls game is what that
is 35 points that's not great a junior high school yeah that's bad second round they play fresno
state they beat them 81 65 so they're fucking smoking people now. This isn't even close.
The next round, they play Gonzaga, who's 12th, and that's a dangerous one because Gonzaga's one of those teams.
They're very dangerous.
They beat them, though, 77-62.
Knock Gonzaga out.
They're getting closer, but I mean, better teams.
You're playing better teams.
Next up, they play against No. 11 seed Temple and beat them 69-62.
So getting close.
And then finally, this is, I think, the Final Four game here.
This is not the championship game, but the Final Four game.
They play number two seed Arizona and lose 80-61 Arizona.
They got smoked there.
So that's fine, though though he's a freshman he
plays in 34 games which is pretty goddamn good um he uh 19.8 minutes per game so he's playing about
half the game but he does come up with uh where's his points here he got 10.8 points a game 6.7 uh
rebounds and one assist per game for a freshman no great for for a true
freshman here uh one of the one of his college coaches said he was never the hardest worker in
the weight room or at practice or during individual workouts well that's all three
but he had a way of putting the ball in the basket not the quickest guy or the strongest guy
he just had that natural ability with the ball in his hands.
A teammate said he can't run.
There's no running with this guy.
This is an NBA player we've been describing.
They can't run.
Very disparaging things about his athleticism already.
He can't run.
Well, this guy really lays it down here.
He says it all.
Quote, he can't run.
He can't beat anybody in a race.
He can't jump.
He couldn't jump over a phone book.
He's got tiny little hands.
If you ever shake his hands, he's got tiny hands,
but they're some of the best hands in basketball.
He just has a natural feel for how to play the game,
to score, to create space against his defenders.
He does.
He's one of those guys.
He's like a guy who's
like a a lot of times in the majors you'll get a like a pitcher who does not look like a professional
athlete at all but they throw 97 miles an hour you're like how the fuck does that happen they
just have this weird skill that's zach you can just do it yeah okay he's huge if he was six foot
four he wouldn't have made it to he could he wouldn't have played junior college ball because
he would have been garbage nobody would fucking let him play but some reason if you're that big and you can make
little moves and get rebounds you're gold so tiny hands yeah so he declares for the draft this year
one year at michigan state he's out oh shit done he's going to the draft and he does uh first of
all number one pick that year jim. 2000 when? Four? 2001.
2001.
Allen Iverson?
No, that's 97.
96.
I was close.
Yeah.
96.
2001?
2001 NBA draft.
Oh, my God.
I haven't got a clue.
Kwame Brown.
Oh, that's why.
That's a bust right there.
He did play 12 years in the league,ame Brown you never think of him playing 12
years in the fucking league but he did number two overall Tyson Chandler wow these are both
no college right to the right to the NBA guys uh number three Pau Gasol who ended up having a very
long career uh not too shabby number four Eddie Curry another straight from high school. Didn't work out very well.
Number five, Jason Richardson.
He goes then.
Then you got your Shane Battier and guys like that.
Joe Johnson went to Boston, number 10.
Richard Jefferson went to Houston, 13.
He was coming off the – I think that's when Arizona won the national championship that year, right?
I believe so, yeah. I think they did one of the years there.
I think 97 was the other one.
Anyway, what do we got here?
Zach Randolph, number 19 overall they take Zach.
Not bad.
And then taken by Portland.
So he's taken by Portland.
Later on, nobody really.
This is a really weak draft, man.
That was a bad year, man.
Kwame Brown's number one.
I'm looking at it.
Jason Richardson's a player.
Richard Jefferson was in the league a long fucking time. He's number one. I'm looking at it. Jason Richardson's a player. Richard Jefferson was in the league a long fucking time.
He's a great pal.
Gasol is better than a lot of people give him credit for, even though he's boring.
That's really it as far as stars go.
That's it, man.
Oh, Tony Parker.
There we go.
Tony Parker went 28.
He was pretty good.
I mean, that's a really fucking weak draft.
Anyway, bleak. So he overcame his shit to go's that's a really fucking weak draft anyway bleak so he
overcame his shit to go to high school go to the draft now he's gonna get paid at least at least
he can get his mom out of here no one's ever gonna call him crusty again jimmy grace we're
gonna say grace right here yeah right yeah this is grace i think um and it is even though he's
got a lot of good things ahead of him including money he's got a lot of good things ahead of him, including money, he's got a lot of dumb things ahead of him, too.
Let's talk about it here.
Yeah.
He talks about living in Marion.
Really?
He thought about it.
He's like, yeah, I'll buy my mom a house out in the suburbs around the edge of the city where the good houses are.
He goes, I'll buy myself like 100 acres.
He was talking about buying a big plot of land, building a big house on it.
He goes, I could put a dog kennel out there because I want to breed dogs.
I could do this.
I could put a basketball court in and I could do all this shit because it's cheap to do around there.
And then he said, wait a second.
Hold on a minute.
Fuck Marion.
Why would I want to go there?
Right.
He says he didn't like it.
He said that at one point he talked to a police officer and a police officer said i don't like
you and he said why you don't even know me and he goes we just don't like you because i don't know
if that's true or not but we know yeah we know yeah um one this is a a police officer in marion
told a reporter this is a quote long time cop in marion said quote zach's a target. If I were him, I'd never come back.
So there's that.
But the police chief, he says, no, he says, I can assure you no one in our department has any feelings about Zach that are unfair.
Think about what he just said.
That are unfair.
That are unfair.
Not that we don't have no bias against him.
That are unfair.
Like we know to keep an eye out for him because he's up to no good is what we don't have any justified or unjustified feelings about that man yeah there's no he didn't
say we're not biased we're not we know we're not keeping an eye on him none of that shit he just
says well everything we're doing is warranted yeah i'd get the fuck out of there too for sure
later motherfuckers so 2001 2002 portland trailblazers and this was when they had
i think this was the year where they went a whole entire calendar year without having
10 days go by where a player of theirs didn't have a police interaction i'm not even kidding
yeah some sort of police interaction of some kind it was a crazy stat so this is wild we've talked
about multiple people from these teams this year they they're coached by Maurice Cheeks.
Mo Cheeks is the coach.
They go 49-33 this year, which is pretty good.
It's a good record.
Almost 50 wins is a goddamn good season.
Yeah, 49.
They lose, though, in the first round of the playoffs.
They're swept by the Lakers, which, sorry, that's Shaq and Kobe Lakers.
You're getting crushed.
They went on to crush everybody for like fucking three, four years's just the way it worked yeah go to the east so yeah you're yeah the east was weak at that point
so um he's immature during this first season to say the least and i mean christ he's a young guy
he hasn't ever really been out of marion much he asked Steve Kerr at one point, who was a player still then on the team with Portland.
He asked him, hey, when does the team get off for Christmas break?
What?
He said, you have a job, motherfucker.
This isn't school.
You don't get off for shit.
What are you talking about?
Don't you remember watching NBA on TNT with fucking Christmas lights all over?
NBC does Christmas Day games, remember?
No.
And there's Christmas lights on the logo and there's shit all over the stadium.
The mascot's dressed up in a Santa outfit.
What are you talking about?
Whole league shuts down for Christmas break.
Okay.
Yeah.
He's also fined repeatedly for not meeting his rookie weight requirement he's
supposed to lose weight and he just doesn't he's a chubster his whole career which is fine if you
know if you're getting the job done so his rookie season he plays in 41 games so exactly half the
games 5.8 minutes a game they're not playing him much they think of him as like they're bringing
him along like a like a high school kid basically he's a he's a project he barely played at michigan state
you know so they got a project also in case cliff robinson gets injured some shit like that yeah
he's a contingency plan here so and if they have a good team that goes to the playoffs almost 50
wins you're not just going to slip right in there. They probably have someone good in your place. So that is a 2.8 points per game he scores that year.
So not great.
He's barely in the game.
They just want to get his feet wet and get him in here.
May of 2002, though, he's getting to know the locals around Portland,
including the police department.
Oh, no.
May 2002, he's arrested for underage drinking because he's still not 21 yet. Right. Oh, though. He's arrested shortly before midnight.
They stop.
He's driving his SUV.
And this is it matched the description of an SUV being used by gang members.
Unquote.
All right.
It's a dark colored SUV with black guys in it is what that is.
So, I mean, give me a fucking break here.
God damn it.
Seriously.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
So the police said that his blood alcohol
level was less than half the legal limit of 0.08 so it was low for a big guy like that he had a
drink um but the legal drinking age is 21 and this is in indiana by the way this isn't in portland
this is back home never never don't go home one of the crime and sports rules this is why out of
there you got out. Yep.
It matched the description of another car that he drives, and we'd like to pull him over and see what he's doing.
Yeah.
So, yeah, he's arrested for underage drinking and driving and all that kind of shit.
He said he could face a 180-day jail term if he's convicted of underage driving.
The 19-year-old passenger in the car was also arrested, and the Blazers aren't making any comment about this and that's how it goes he did make 1 million 19 280 dollars that year so not
bad that's pretty goddamn good now we're talking you can go to walmart and clean that motherfucker
out now all the wranglers and rustlers that you can handle. Clean up shop, sir.
That's it.
The wait is over.
So far, you're not losing.
The only thing you're losing is my patience.
Quickly, I see that.
Bing!
The queen of the courtroom is back.
I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
Okay, so, um...
This is not a so. This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him. Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
The Emmy Award winning series returns.
How did I know that? I have a crystal ball
in my head. It's an all new
season. It's streaming. You can say
anything. Judy
Justice. Only on
Freebie.
So 2002, 2003, portland they're 50 and 32 so they're hanging around this this particular amount of wins the first round of the playoffs though it goes all seven and they
lose to dallas that's it's a tough one problem is during this year, 2003, during a practice, he got in a fight with Reuben Patterson.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
Got in a really bad fight where he punched Reuben Patterson in the face and broke his eye socket.
Oh, shit.
Zach.
You can't do that.
Breaking a face.
That's bad.
Yeah.
I guess this is how it went down.
Randolph noticed teammate Quintel woods was arguing with ruben patterson
so zach wasn't even fucking involved in this so he got involved in it uh to intervene in woods's
defense he did this by calmly walking up and stating his case and saying i sir i think that
you're being unfair yeah i think you're being unfair to mr woods uh here and i think maybe we
should sit down calmly.
Maybe we'll get like an organic tea and let's all talk about this.
Let's discuss this.
Oh, no, that's not what he did.
Actually, he ran up and sucker punched Patterson in the eye.
Oh, you bitch.
That's how he fucking.
That's a policy move.
That's how he intervened in that.
Damon Stoudemire said, I didn't really see what happened because I got the steal, so I was going the other way.
All I heard was, come on, Zach zach i turned back around and it was chaos and i was like that's my boy oh man um because that's how stoudemire behaves well this is fucking great it gets it
gets hairier after that so he finds out that he fractured his eye socket now randolph is scared
his patterson's doesn't take shit.
Have we done a Reuben Patterson episode?
No.
He doesn't take any shit from people, apparently.
And apparently, quote,
there was a period of a few days after the incident
where Randolph hid out at Dale Davis' house
because he feared that Patterson was going to shoot him.
Holy shit.
So he fucking hid out at Dale Davis.
Protect me, Dale Davis.
Hold me closer, Dale Davis.
Wait, Dale Davis is the shooting guard, right?
Oh, God.
Now I'm thinking of, yeah, because I just thought of Davis on.
Anthony Davis.
The other Davis I just thought of in Indiana, and that's not who we're talking about.
We're talking about the guard, Davis.
Yeah.
So hung out at Dale Davis's house until shit calmed down here.
Reuben Patterson, though, later on ended up being pretty smart about the whole thing.
He might have wanted to shoot him at the time.
We don't know.
But later on, a couple years later, he'll end up saying about Zach, quote,
he was still a teenager when he joined a team that was known for having guys that got in trouble.
He said, and I think the leaders on the team didn't provide positive influences and didn't deter any negative influences.
That's fair.
I mean, they didn't blame it all on him.
He didn't say he's a fucking asshole and I hate him or anything.
That's fair.
And we'll talk about his negative influences in just a moment after I tell you his stats here.
He played in 77 games.
This time he's 17 minutes a game.
So, I mean mean he's creeping
up there 8.4 points 4.5 rebounds so he's getting his you know getting his getting in there just
kind of they're working him into the program he makes 1 million 95 720 dollars though so that's
not bad at all now now to talk about these quote influences. And you won't find a human being around him that talks about him honestly that doesn't talk about his posse.
And nobody.
I mean nobody.
Players, teammates, friends, family, you name it.
This was a thing then, though, too.
Yes.
To keep, quote, you had to keep it real.
That was the thing.
Unless you were bringing your friends.
If you left your friends, then you were a sellout. You weren to keep it real. That was the thing. Unless you were bringing your friends. If you left your friends, then you were a sellout.
You weren't keeping it real.
Yeah.
The 90s going into the 2000s were a lot about keeping it real.
Like, now it's motherfuckers don't care at all.
They will fucking leave all their friends behind and make a TikTok video about them dancing over it.
I made this much money and they don't get a dime.
Fuck these people.
People don't give a fuck now.
Real doesn't matter for shit now.
Nobody keeps shit in anything.
They want a very nice suit
and a girlfriend with $2 billion.
Yeah.
That's what they're looking for.
Back then.
And that's all they spent time with.
They don't go hang out
with their friends
from high school anymore.
And all those guys
have like fucking nicknames
for their posse
and all that shit.
Well, we have one too.
There's a nickname
with an acronym and everything.
God damn it. We'll get to it yeah let me see you gotta yeah fucking assholes it's it's weird but this is what it was this was there was a there was a uh premium on realness and a real really like
hypocrisy was considered the worst you know what i mean whereas now it's you know people will say
one thing and then kind of wink while they're saying something else and people go i know what they
really mean no you don't they're all playing you you dumb fucks that's all it is not our listeners
of course but other people somebody called them on their hypocrisy they'd be like fuck yeah man
i got a lot of money that i can get rid of and i don't want to do that on a daily basis on a daily
fucking basis people do that i like that billionaire because he really cares about me no you don't want to do that. On a daily basis. On a daily fucking basis, people do that.
I like that billionaire because he really cares about me.
No, you don't.
Neither does he.
You dumb shit.
None of these people care about you and you don't care about them.
Worry about your family, dummy.
Go back to work and shut up.
Again, none of our listeners we're talking about.
Our listeners here are actually pretty fucking bright.
You seem to get it.
A lot of people aren't. So his posse's name is the hoop family oh my god okay hoop is an acronym stands for quote i'll give you
a guess what's hoop stand for jimmy what do you think horny older what is holla in there it is not
neither is horny is it about hitmen or some shit
no no no that's good it's family though at the end of it it sounds like it's hoop is the acronym
and then families just he calls it the hoop family so i'll just tell you it's it sounds
like some community center like what a community center would have like a big banner in their
basketball court where little kids play and it would be like hoop and it had the words under it.
Yeah.
Helping helping others overcome problems.
Oh, in other words, giving my friends money for doing very little to help me giving away all my shit.
Yeah.
That's what that fucking means here.
So, yeah, they would apparently I mean, he he took a few of them to Portland with him, moved them into his house and all this shit.
And this is the house, by the way, that was featured on MTV Cribs.
If you remember the Zach Randolph MTV Cribs.
Does he have his kid living with him?
What do you think, Jimmy?
Okay.
All right.
Yeah, you're right.
He does not.
He says he went to Portland.
That girl was a high school girlfriend.
He's not still going out with his junior and high school girlfriend so I'll say he's done well he says
that he hates going to Marion and the only reason to go there is to see his kid other than that he
hates going there so I guess all of the um all of the the people in it he buys big um remember like
in the 90s all the rap labels had their own medallion?
The medallion, you had the No Limit, you had the fucking Death Row, you had all those.
Well, he had one for his friends made.
He had it made?
Oh, yeah.
With H-O-O-P.
Big gaudy necklaces that say hoop on them.
That's the hoop family.
Helping others overcome problems.
Helping others overcome problems. Helping others overcome problems.
Just giving them money.
How are you helping them, Zach?
Popping my Husky Snaps.
Oh, I give them an allowance.
Popping my Husky Snaps and helping others overcome problems.
The story of Zach Randolph.
So these people did not help him at all.
It ended up being like a dozen people he ended up having around him at all
times which is just too much too many and all these necklaces by the way all diamond and everything
they look like a rap labels necklace like they're 50 grand it's yeah it's fucking crazy they'd be
all over the locker room and shit like that um it's it's fucking crazy but when he got guys are
hanging out in the locker oh yeah yeah He's bringing his friends in there.
By the time he gets traded to Memphis, like the minute he gets traded there, the guys MySpace pages, all of these guys have Tennessee listed as their home immediately.
Soon as he got like the same as him.
It's we're going there.
Moving with him.
Yep.
Now, he said Tom Izzo said he never saw any evidence of this posse at Michigan State.
That's because he didn't have any fucking money.
That's why.
It's funny.
Where was the posse hanging out with you when you weren't spreading money around, taking them out and picking up the tab?
Yeah, working day jobs is what they were doing then.
Yeah, exactly.
So Tom Izzo said, I think that would have been a problem, but I think that's a problem with 90 percent of the players in the NBA.
I think that's a little steep of an estimate. Probably. It's probably more like 10 percent.
But OK, half the reason you have a posse is that you're a giving guy. And Zach, to me, is a caring guy.
I mean, your posse is made up of guys that you're funding, for God's sake. So maybe somebody has to point him in the right direction.
I would say so, Tom Izzo. I think you're correct here.
So 2003-2004 season, the Blazers are 500, 41-41.
No playoffs.
That doesn't go well.
And again, Zach, another arrest this year.
I mean, he's got to stack them.
This year, December 2003, he's pulled over for erratic driving.
Yeah.
And police smell, not only smell, there's a cloud of smoke pouring out of the car.
It's a Cheech and Chong situation.
Hell yeah.
So he's arrested for possession of marijuana.
And I believe it was definitely driving under the influence of marijuana and a possible possession charge as well.
He's taken into custody and all that shit.
He said that, quote, later on when he got released, he said,
I'm up here to apologize to my teammates, to the organization, to the Portland fans.
He's got this one down pat, and he'll repeat it constantly.
He says this is an embarrassment and it's a distraction to the team.
I can't talk about what happened, but I want to apologize to all you guys okay i'm good now though sure again clean um
the silver response to this the team uh they give a very silver every team is super silver with zach
they really like him yeah quote this is uh oh the general manager of the blazers he's had some
difficulties in the past as a lot of young people have.
But I think the way he's handled the way in which he's handled those difficulties coming out immediately and acknowledging he made a mistake back in the course of the season.
I think that speak that spoke volumes.
He acknowledged he made a mistake, stood up like a man before the media and fans and apologized.
I think I think I have been accurate.
I've been accurate in identifying Zach as a talent,
but we've also identified him as a guy of some quality and character.
Hell yeah.
So I love how they make statements about how much he's shown his great
character the day after he's arrested,
which is hilarious to me.
What he's arrested for is whether it's bullshit or not or whatever the fuck it is,
like, that is a funny way to make a statement.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The team says, until we get the facts, we can't respond.
Certainly, if it turns out that the tests are not what we'd like to see, then, as I
said, there will be consequences.
There won't be.
No, there won't.
And we will deal with that over the next couple days as we try to gather the information.
Hope something else happens to distract you people before then.
So anyway, 2003-2004, though, he starts 80 games out of playing 81.
Not bad.
37.9 minutes a game.
That's a workhorse down low.
He's in it, yeah.
20.1 points a game.
And he's performing. And 10.5 rebounds he turns into
a 20 and 10 guy a double double that's incredible a 2010 guy's big if you're 2010 you're gonna get
paid for a long fucking time it's a they need those stats filled out on the sheets you know
what i mean that's that's a lot there and two assists a game as well so not too shabby you're
gonna turn hoop into hoop because you're going to be helping others.
You're going to be helping others overcome problems.
Dude, if you keep playing well like this.
He wanted to become an All-Star that year, but he didn't make the All-Star team.
But he does win the NBA's Most Improved Player Award, which that's a great award to win.
He said, quote, I wanted to be on the All-Star team, but it feels good to win this award. It feels
really good. I'm going to get back here next
year, and I'm going to get even better.
Work it out. The Blazers
coach said they had a party for him about
it and everything. They wanted to. Maurice
Cheek said, this is all Zach Randolph's
award. It's about him. It's about
him going out and working. Years ago,
they talked about Larry Bird coming to the arena
long before anyone else did, and that's the kind of zach randolph did this year and what really helped him
achieve his goal so he did he put the work in as a as a player and it paid off period shitload of
weed shitload and he's young he's only 22 yeah so this is early this is traditionally before
this time in our history when guys would just be coming out of college now.
Right, right.
This is his fourth year in the NBA, or his third year.
That's one year of college.
That means four years in college.
That's when most guys would be done.
Tim Duncan played all four years.
Right.
Came in a great polished player, played all four years of college, you know, but he's getting it.
Came in.
Now he's a good polished player, but he's also got $5 million in his pocket.
That's the other thing. You have to pay the guy to polish. Yeah.'s a good Polish player, but he's also got $5 million in his pocket. That's the other thing.
You have to pay the guy
to polish.
Yeah.
Which, good.
Fuck that.
We can play for free
in the NCAA.
He gets paid
$1,172,160,
which is a good salary.
So it's that time again, Jimmy.
Are you feeling an itch?
He hasn't been arrested
in a while, right?
It's super weird. August 2004 um here we go he's at sinbad's lounge and grill at 2 a.m do you think sinbad's there
i i think he's there i think he's on stage with giant pants on fuck yeah every time take a sip
through that mcdonald's straw that big vein pop out your forehead? That's the only Sinbad joke I can remember.
That's a pretty good joke.
I remember that one.
The milkshake joke?
Yeah, the milkshake joke.
Because you talk about people not knowing what they want at McDonald's, and then you
go into the milkshake bit, which was they give you this tiny-ass straw with this thick
and his eye would pop out and shit.
It was funny.
Sinbad's fucking funny.
I'm sorry.
He is funny.
He's corny and shit, but he's a good-
He sure is.
He's corny as fuck but he's
like if you put the right word if he wanted to say the right words he's a talented motherfucker
and can do it you know he's a great performer so definitely very acceptable in every house in
america no matter uh what their uh beliefs are that's the other thing too yeah everybody likes
and so funny everybody likes sinbad it'd be hard not to as a guy you're like it's sinbad yeah you're
gonna hate him that guy seems fun so uh that's why i know he's sunny when they made him all mean in
that one episode that's why it was so funny because it's sinbad you're like
hell so uh sin sinbad's lounge and grill 2 a., which is, we'll hear a lot of this now. Zach and an entourage of about eight people
are at a nightclub here, Sinbad's.
Oh, yeah.
Now, a witness reported that his brother, Roger Randolph,
the one who his father said is a fuck-up when he was 15,
and will turn into a thug.
Oh, Roger, this is the tip of the Roger iceberg, boy.
Roger gets into an argument on the dance floor, as Roger has want to do.
We'll dance with your girl now, sir.
Zach runs up to try to get on his side, which, you know what?
This is a growth for Zach because at least he didn't sucker punch the other guy, which is what he did in the NBA.
nba so apparently at some point in this melee beer bottles get thrown at the brothers which are answered with gunfire what yeah um the roger randolph returns this volley uh upping the ante
with bullets rather than beer bottles holy yeah um so this is uh about 2 a.m. inside the joint there.
And Philip Corthen Jr., 30, of Muncie, was shot in the lower back.
Oh, God.
He was released eventually here.
He said, quote, this is Philip Corthen,
considering the situation, I guess I'm doing all right.
I'm not as good as what I was when I entered the club, though.
I'm sure.
No shit.
Not looking to dance.
Also shot Terry Hill, 29, who was wounded in the right arm and upper chest.
Also, Travis A. Wilson, 25, who was also shot in the arm.
Holy shit.
His brother shot three fucking people.
Unbelievable.
Just randomly firing into a fucking nightclub crowd because he's mad at a guy.
You're not supposed to have a gun in a club.
Probably not, no.
It's a bad place to have one.
Roger left the scene of the shootings
before any investigators arrived,
but later went to the police
and was placed under arrest.
Zach Randolph was apparently on the scene
and right next to his fucking brother there.
Zach apparently answered some questions
and then the police were satisfied
with his answers and let Zach go that night
but then several witnesses
gave a different shooting of the version
that Zach
gave so they
ended up pulling Zach over and
bringing him back in to talk
to him which he then ended up sitting there until 7 o'clock
in the morning in the police station
Roger is arrested on three counts of criminal recklessness, which that seems attempted murder.
Yeah.
What are we talking?
You shot indiscriminately into a fucking crowd, man.
That's attempted murder.
That's a crazy lenient charge.
Wow.
But that's just the initial charges, I guess, there.
His bond is posted for him at forty thousand
dollars i wonder who did that um i'm gonna say that might be zach prosecutors and police are
going to continue to uh investigate the prosecutor said he's trying to make state a sense of the
statements given by zach randolph apparently what he says doesn't make any sense from what they said here.
Zach told investigators that he didn't know who fired the shots.
That's why.
I didn't see him.
Meanwhile, other witnesses, like dozens of them in the club, told investigators that Zach was holding his brother while Roger fired the gun.
While he's shooting it.
While he's shooting it while he's shooting it so his ears are he can barely hear the cops questions yeah between the bass thumping through the club and the fucking gunshots right in his
fucking ear he's going what i don't know who i didn't see i'm not yelling
you saw the muzzle flash yeah the madison county prosecutor said quote he's given information that
seems to defy logic it's impossible that he didn't see it he loves to defy logic zach fucking he really does um he said that the prosecutor's
considering whether zach should face charges of false informing as well over this because he
obviously is fucking lying if he you know whatever um so the uh what is this the coach here oh a
trailblazer spokesman now it's not even like the gm talking they're like send the spokesman out
there the one that nobody knows we'll just send him out there he'll take the heat he said the last
conversation i had with authorities i was told that zach was a cooperative witness and he was
not charged with anything that's silver baby um they said that less jackson the owner of sin bads
unfortunately it's not sin bad damn it sinless that's his real name, said that more than 100 people were inside the club when this happened.
That's dangerous, man.
Holy reckless shit, man.
That's insane.
Holy fucking shit, man.
Finally, after a second interview with Zach, they decide not to charge him with false informing.
Wow.
Yeah.
His brother brother though,
has been charged with three counts of battery with a deadly weapon.
That sounds more like it.
Now,
Roger,
while out on bail is down in Atlanta and is arrested on weapons charges.
A few days later,
after this happens again,
it is his,
Oh,
by the way,
it's his third gun related arrest in three weeks in three different cities, his brother Roger.
He shouldn't have one.
He's on a tour.
He's on a tour, Jimmy.
He's going on a tour to check out county jails for gun charges.
He's doing an experiment to see what happens when you get arrested on gun charges in different cities.
How do they treat you?
What facilities do they take you to?
We'll find out.
So, wow.
It's fucking ridiculous, man.
Anyway, later on, the police said, quote, about Zach, he cleared up any irregularities or confusion that may have been in his first statement, which didn't contain all the facts.
He lied once.
Then we told him we're going to charge him.
And he went, OK, fine.
I'll tell you everything.
That seems like what happened there.
charge him and he went okay fine i'll tell you everything that seems like what happened there so um they said uh although there were not charges uh zach and for that matter all of our players
this is the uh steve patterson the trailblazers president all of our players need to be aware of
their surroundings and work hard not to put themselves in compromising situations or better said duh right fucking duh so 2004 2005 trailblazers finished 27 and 55
yikes not good at all no sub 30 that's bad shit here yeah they zach has some injuries this year
he only plays in 46 games starts 37 where he plays in 35 minutes a game. 18.9 points, 9.6 rebounds.
So still basically 2010.
Not bad, but knocked around injured a little bit here.
$1,504,272 this year, though.
Not a bad salary.
So 2005, 2006.
They're even worse.
21 and 61, the Blazers are.
It's off the rails now.
Wow, that is fucking really bad.
That's bad shit.
Coach Nate McMillan now.
That's how nice that town is.
They'll hang on to you.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You performed that terribly.
Well, what else do they have, Jimmy?
Yeah.
In Portland, honestly.
Nothing.
No football.
No baseball.
Nothing.
No hockey.
That's all they got.
They got this. So, hang on for dear life if we
start booing and stop showing up they'll fucking move somewhere down south or some shit you know
they were you know they will right they will be in fucking tulsa before you know it or some terrible
place you know like that or they'll be in like some other florida city there'll be the jacksonville trailblazers before you know it oh my hot trailblazers has a ring oh jesus help us all so
um he is suspended this year though obviously he's got to have some problem for making obscene
gestures to fans after a game in indiana oh he flipped some people off he flipped some people
off that's just stupid who cares um but he does play 74 games 71 starts 34.4
minutes 18 points eight rebounds a game all right not bad he makes this year buckle up for this
shit jimmy 10 million 666 667 dollars in one season he's one season he's already made that's
amazing that sounds great for him good for him. Good for you.
June of 2006, though.
It's that time again, Jimmy.
Summer comes around.
Summertime.
And the living is easy.
Getting arrested is easy.
Hey.
Summertime.
And those cuffs go on easy.
What the fuck? I think honoringuffs go on easy. What the fuck?
I think honoring police attention is easy.
It really is.
What did he do?
Well, he's the passenger of a driver cited for racing in downtown Portland.
Okay.
We've been in downtown Portland.
We are hotels.
You can't race around there.
Who the fuck are you racing?
Are you nuts?
You can't race around there.
The fuck are you racing?
Are you nuts?
The guy, Taquan Portis, was cited for speed racing, careless driving, failure to obey a traffic signal, and no front license plate.
He was driving a Dodge Magnum registered to Zach Randolph, who was in the passenger seat.
Zach Randolph drives a Magnum?
That's the station wagon. Dodge Magnum, yeah.
I guess if you do it
up enough yeah i guess it could those look kind of those look like rod had one of those actually
he had it was all black it was black and blacked out with the the upper whatever engine in it and
it was it was fucking mean yeah yeah it was a mean car yeah yeah it was a mean little ride there he
just liked it because he could put his refrigerator there there was room for it. He had a little mini fridge he liked to keep his cheese and stuff in.
So it was great, dude.
He'd pull up, he'd roll down the window, black tinted window, and he'd look at you and go,
cheese stick?
And he'd reach into a fridge and pour a hand of tea.
All right, sure, I'll take a cheese stick, why not?
I love a guy who's always packing cheese.
That's pretty good.
Cheese stick.
Smack you with a cheese stick
so um anyway they're pulled over 3 15 a.m this is going on as well so oh boy you're not you're
not blending in anything oh by the way they also found two two loaded handguns in the car as well
there's that but randolph has a concealed weapons permit for the firearms. Which, if you're going to carry them around, thank you.
There you go.
So he has that.
Problem is, August 2006, he's got more problems.
It's a couple months later here.
It's just got a lot of interaction.
He's the type of guy, like, when he sees the cops, he's like, Bill, Tom.
How are you, fellas?
Like, how's the wife and kids?
How's Susan doing?
Is she okay?
How's her mom doing?
I know she had cancer there. Oh, she's getting better that's good i'm glad the treatment
worked out anyway so you know yeah what's your search warrant for again that's how old's becky
now welcome back it's what he's got going on so um apparently um august 2006 there is a sexual
assault report taken okay but he's not a suspect.
It's a weird thing.
We'll talk about this.
According to this, to the prosecutor's office, Randolph offered $500 to watch a, quote, live sex show between two women.
These weren't just two random women he met outside.
These were women who did this sort of thing for money.
It makes a big difference who you're offering that to.
You just walked into a restaurant and offered people that.
That's crazy.
Two waitresses at Denny's, it's probably welcome.
But IHOP, probably the same.
If there's someone who will like, I'll lick her ass for $250,
that's a different story.
Then you're like, okay, I'll make an offer then.
So this was two women here.
This was on August 12th at the Hotel Vintage Plaza in Portland.
I've stayed there.
Yeah.
I know you have.
That's funny.
So that's where it happened, Jimmy.
It's a pretty nice place.
That's fascinating.
I didn't know that came with the rooms.
Apparently it does.
Portland is the place I've had the worst hotel luck in the United States.
Almost killed a man.
Then I was told to use the lobby bathroom to shit.
Was that the hotel vintage?
I think it was.
Which one?
The one we stayed in?
Yeah.
Might have been, yeah.
That might be the one where they told me to use the bathroom downstairs rather than in my room where a bathroom would normally be located
well and they didn't even give you two chicks who lick each other's ass what kind of place is this
i mean i heard a knock at the door i didn't answer you never know maybe that's what they
were sending up i don't know they could have been very disappointed enjoy bridget and vanessa
enjoy them uh here um i believe one of these women is named Hennessy if I'm not mistaken I'm not
even kidding absolutely I think that was
one of their stage names if I had
somewhere in the article at some point
he has interaction with a stripper named
Hennessy I know that much that's it
turns into a legal issue I know that in
this story not sure if this is the one
he has multiple issues obviously Zach
just can't stop just having his
name in the fucking paper it's like bro he loves it just go home yeah let's go home the problem is
at home is when where some of the crazier shit happens we'll talk about like him and his posse
that way he called him and his posse they drag race on the on the residential streets they fire
fucking guns off in the backyard
at the middle of in the middle of the night this is in like this is in like an affluent neighborhood
like a really nice neighborhood with a bunch of like doctors and lawyers and shit and then like
him and in the hoop posse or the hoop family are firing off guns and shit in the backyard
fucking who cares if you're a power forward but you can't fire guns off in the backyard. Fucking, who cares if you're a power forward, but you can't fire guns
off in the backyard. That's a lot.
It's all these rich
people that went to college and medical
school and law school and then the power forward
shooting guns. He's shooting off guns
and who the fuck is down there?
So anyway, $500 he offers to
view this live sex show, which
they agree to, happily.
Everybody agrees to it.
Afterwards, though, Zach is disappointed with the performance.
That was $500?
Zach went, you know what, that wasn't up to my standard of performance.
I'm sorry, ladies, you didn't make the show.
You didn't do it.
I'll see you better.
And then he said, I'm not paying you a dime.
I won't pay.
Nothing?
I won't pay for that. That was $0. That $69 won't even get you a dime. I won't pay. Nothing? I won't pay for that.
That was $0.
That $69 won't even get you $69.
That's how little I think of it.
Wow.
That's $0.
Now, somehow, I don't know if money was involved or what the deal is, but you would think,
okay, that's going to be where the problems legally come from.
He refuses to pay. She gets mad. She attacks him. He throws, you know. Theft to be where the problems legally come from. He refuses to pay.
She gets mad.
She attacks him.
He throws, you know.
Theft to services.
Who knows?
Whatever.
Theft to services.
Theft to services.
Violence might end up.
Yeah.
And you can see an escalating situation happen, too.
So instead, as the night progresses, somehow by the end of the night, he took it from I'm not paying you for shit to him and his buddy both fucking this one broad from the two.
One of the two women.
He ends up him and his buddy end up fucking.
I don't know if at the same time or that doesn't really matter.
But either way, the accuser, though, ends up telling police that Randolph's sexual advances were unwanted and that she had made several attempts to communicate with him but hasn't been able to.
She said that she was, quote, extremely intoxicated throughout the episode.
She said she drank three cocktails, then three double shots of tequila purchased by Randolph at a bar before they came to the hotel.
at a bar when they,
before they came to the bar to the hotel,
she didn't describe according to the report,
any specific acts of force nor any threats by Randolph.
Um, and she,
there was no hot,
you know,
medical records or anything like that just to give the overview of it.
Not that that matters,
but she,
uh,
apparently on August 13th though,
she demanded $10,000 from Zach and threatened to seek legal action the next day if she didn't receive the money.
So apparently Randolph ended up giving at some point in the night.
He gave $500 to the other woman involved in the sex show who told who told this the accuser quote. Zach Randolph gave me money to have you shut your mouth.
OK, so he said, here's five hundred dollars he gave to the one girl to give to her to tell her to shut the fuck up.
That was his attempted deal there.
Shifted off for.
Yes.
Then the next day she sought an examination at the hospital reporting the sexual assault.
next day she sought an examination at the hospital reporting the sexual assault she gave a detailed statement which was consistent with her later statements but they weren't able to obtain any
forensic evidence or anything like that so um they were interviewing potential witnesses the police
were um they said in the paper they said quote the police bureau will now confirm that on august 14
2006 an officer took a report of a sexual assault
that the report involves Zach Randolph.
However, the police bureau is not identifying Zach Randolph
as a suspect in the criminal investigation.
So apparently the team said,
once we have all the facts, we'll act accordingly.
We're going to hold back on this one before we say anything.
Eventually, no charges are brought against him, though.
Apparently, he's accused of it, but the prosecutor said there was, quote, an insufficient basis to prove forcible compulsion and absence of consent beyond a reasonable doubt.
They're not going to win, so they didn't charge him. Basically, they said lack of forensic or medical evidence pose difficulties posed by the intoxication of the witnesses around everybody there and delay report delaying the reporting of the incident and contradictory statements that she made as well.
And yeah, so his attorney, Zach's attorney, released a statement saying this event has helped Zach look at his life circumstances and he realizes
that he's a fortunate statement a fortunate person sure what the fuck does that mean
what does that mean i realize uh i'm i'm privy to and i have the opportunity to
get as much of this as i want i'm going to really think about the ones that i do this with i he's look at his life
circumstances and realize that he's very fortunate to be able to pay five hundred dollars to watch
two women eat each other out that's amazing he realizes not everybody can do that not everybody
can do that i'm going to take uh this into account and uh try to watch as many as i can pay my fair
share what a weird thing okay this is i guess fortunate that he didn't get charged,
that it didn't go any further.
I don't know.
He has $10 million still.
That's a lot.
The Trailblazers, they have another statement on it.
They say,
It's disturbing to have any public discussion involving a Portland Trailblazer
in any matter that portrays him and the franchise in less than a favorable light.
We're pleased that Zach has acknowledged that these actions have embarrassed our team and our fans.
We're undertaking appropriate steps to work with Zach and his representatives
to ensure that he understands the expectations for conduct by all of our players
as representatives of this team and our city.
So, I mean, yeah, that's, you know.
I know you like live sex shows, Zach.
What kind of conversation do you have with him there?
I don't even know how you're giving us the opportunity to everybody grow.
Yeah.
Don't go shopping for.
How do you how do you even broach that?
I don't understand.
Because he met these women in a bar.
Like, how do you like?
I'll pay you five hundred dollars to fuck each other. OK girls you fuck girls cool five hundred dollars okay well now you've
just called us now you've just said we're prostitutes that's what you've just said to us
can i watch for 500 yeah you've just changed this whole entire conversation you made it like
because at first it was like him i would say at first he could be like yo i wanted to watch you
guys do something then we'll all maybe he was pitching a th would say at first he could be like, yo, I wanted to watch you guys do something.
And maybe he was pitching a threesome, you know what I'm saying?
Or pitching some sort of orgy or whatever the fuck he's pitching.
That's fine.
But once you add money into it, you've made it sleazy now.
It's not pure anymore.
Now it's gross.
If he's never seen it before and he's valuing it at $500 and now he sees it and it's not a $500 value to him.
You know, that's the other part.
Why?
How are you? How are you appraising this?
I can't see how that wouldn't be worth $500, right?
I think that's a pretty decent deal.
That's a good deal.
Yeah.
It's not like he said, I want to pay $500 for two women to perform a sex act in front of me.
And then just they pick two women and put them in front of me.
He's like, I don't like either one of those.
He picked the women.
Right.
Did she lick her right did she lick her
did she lick her all right what do you want from these people what kind of sex acts do you are you
looking for how much trapeze work yeah what are we talking about what the fuck are we doing here
nobody even squirted this is bullshit i want yeah i want it to be gross in here i laid down plastic for what? For what? For why?
Oh, man. Jesus Christ.
One of his old coaches said, Zach is like a chameleon.
What I mean by this is, if you and I are sitting in a room and Zach comes in for a half hour and sits down with us, he would fit in perfectly.
But then he can walk right out that door and get in a vehicle with two guys he has no business being around,
and he can fall right into the trap and fit in.
Whoever he's with, he can assume that identity.
He's that guy.
Yeah, it's a great comparison,
but nobody ever calls anybody a chameleon that's not a fucking lunatic.
It's an insult. It's always an insult.
Yeah.
It's always an insult.
Yeah, unless it's like a sales manager saying about a salesman. It's always an insult. Yeah. It's always an insult. Unless it's like a sales manager saying
about a salesman. It's always an insult.
Even then, it means...
I mean, normally
that's saying you're full of shit. That's why.
They're saying that's just how he
is. They don't think he's calculating.
He just fits in.
He just goes along with whatever.
So that year he plays in 68 games,
starts 67, 35.7 minutes a game,
23.6 points a game this year, and 10.1 rebounds.
He's doing it.
He didn't make the all-star team with those numbers.
Is that right?
That's wild, man.
Yeah, that's strange.
How many powers were doing?
There's a lot of forwards.
Yeah, there's a lot of them, especially in the West.
So $12 million, though, he makes that year.
That'll take the sting off of not making the All-Star team.
That just means you've got a few days off in the middle of the year to enjoy your money.
Do whatever you want.
So March 2007, obviously.
It's been a little while since he's had any problems.
He asks for some time off.
He needs a few days off um because his girlfriend's
cousin was murdered mental health day so i guess he's got to hang out with her and you know whatever
so yeah his girlfriend's uh cousin was murdered and so they said okay they put him on bereavement
league to a relieve not league to attend the funeral back in indiana but but the next night uh while the blazers were
in seattle losing he ended up not being in seattle or not being in indiana but he was still in um
portland being at the exotica international club for men what which i not don't need a lot of
guesses to tell you what the fuck that is.
He was there until the middle of the night and left the club without paying his bill.
That's how they found out about this.
Don't do that.
What is it with him stiffing fucking naked women lately?
I don't know.
He's got plenty of money. You got $20 million.
Just fear the women.
If you're entering a situation where it's agreed upon, where you're going to pay them and they're going to take their clothes off and they fulfill their portion, you give them the fucking money.
Don't walk out on people.
Check it off, man.
Which, I mean, that's probably for the drinks because you tip as you go.
So it's not like he had tips built up and stiffed the girls.
He stiffed the fucking waitresses, which still sucks.
He stiffed the bar.
Right.
Yeah.
They have to walk around with their ass hanging half out to get your fucking tips.
And they're not making tit tips.
They're not swinging their fucking tits in people's faces, so they're making less tips.
That's bullshit to stiff those fucking ladies.
That's not cool.
So anyway, yeah, I don't know what it is.
If he thinks there's tits out, it's like his domain.
It's free.
It's free.
It's free for me.
Yes, it's free for me.
So yeah, he leaves there. so apparently he wasn't at a
funeral instead he was being cheap with strippers perfect perfect so june 28 2007 even the trail
blazers have had enough they're like it's how many times do we have to make the statement that
where we think he's a good guy he's turning a corner it's enough already which for them is a
shame because he's coming off a great year.
Almost 24 points a game and over 10 rebounds.
Two in a row.
But he's fucking up.
So Portland, they're trying to clean their image up at this point.
They trade him with Dan Dickow and Fred Jones to the New York Knicks for Steve Francis and Channing Frye.
Is that right?
Yikes.
So he's
leaving Portland now. He's going to
sell his house and move.
When he leaves, a sports
columnist with the Oregonian
named John Canzano
said that the day he was traded,
his inbox and his email and his
voicemail were full
with messages from Zach Randolph's
neighbors.
Telling him everything. Who were ecstatic that he was leaving they were so excited apparently they said he had huge
late night parties that uh one of the people quoted as saying quote friends shooting off guns
at 3 a.m and girls falling off the back of atvs holy shit a party that's a party that sounds like you know like uh
one of the hussein kids is having that party back in the day it's like uday hussein's house
girls falling off we we shoot guns in back boom boom gun fall off fuck her give it 500
that's like backwoods alab right there. That is fucking ridiculous.
When he was traded, one of his neighbors, this is that guy Kenzano,
one of his neighbors told me he was going to celebrate by going into his own backyard and shooting off his own gun.
Like I said, he's gone.
The witch is dead.
So hoop family again here.
To talk about them, the basketball organization in 2007
this is one of the reasons why they traded him by the way hired a private investigator to do
investigate what the fuck is zach randolph up to and they came back with a three inch thick file
on his and the hoop family's activities oh, wow, it's just crazy over there.
I mean, the parties, what they do when they're out.
I mean, we've heard about a few incidents.
Sure.
There's fucking gunplay.
There's a lot of crazy shit going on.
Live sex acts.
His parties are crazy, probably.
Think about that shit.
Yeah, that's what they do in public.
What do they do in private, man?
Yeah.
Shoot guns off and push women off the back as you are.
ATVs, apparently.
So, wow.
Apparently, they said this is John Canzano again.
He says, quote, Just before Randolph was traded to the Knicks, someone on the gang enforcement team at Portland Police Department told me to pick up the MTV Cribs episode that featured Zach Randolph
because the police had a copy and noticed some disturbing details about the unsavory people who
hung around around Randolph basically had a bunch of felons on TV with him in the house and they
were like that guy's like did this and this guy did that just to let you know so um the trailblazer beat writer here for the oregonian he said down at
his core zach was and is a good person uh he was also enamored with this kind of gangster life he
wanted to be seen in that light which makes sense also um the gm here says uh he says he probably
could have been more serious about his career but he was a fun guy to be around with a good sense of humor.
He says that, what is this here?
Oh, they said they, at one point, they talked to him.
They gave him an $84 million contract extension, as we'll talk about.
And the GM remembers complimentingandolph on the car he was
driving because he said it was very practical he said wow i'm very impressed that you're not
blowing your money on bullshit you have a lime green chevy impala there look at you
yeah that's very practical to which zach replied oh no i've got three bentley's at home so oh no
please i've pissed away a lot i got a lot of money money. So, yeah. Or one Bentley. I'm sorry.
I got the Bentley, not three Bentleys.
The Bentley at home.
The Bentley, not three Bentleys.
I apologize.
So that's much different.
He said that, quote, they were kids that didn't have a lot of money, and all of a sudden,
Zach was the leader of the party.
They did some dumb things that young kids do when Zach suffered.
His reputation was hurt tremendously.
Those are the kinds of things that might have been okay amongst his circle of friends.
They really didn't know better, and in some cases, they knew better and didn't care.
He went on to say, quote, I would trust Zach with my kids and my grandkids.
Is that right?
At two in the afternoon, I think, yeah, I think you can trust him.
But once the sun goes down, I don't think you can trust him.
At my house, without the hoop fam, sure.
Yeah. Once his dick gets hard, I'm taking the kids can. At my house, without the hoop fam, sure. Yeah.
Once his dick gets hard, I'm taking the kids home because there's going to be crazy shit going on.
2007-80 plays for the Knicks, who are terrible then, as now, as always.
They're 23-59 that year with shit-ass Isaiah Thomas coaching.
They have garbage Eddie Curry, Jared Jeffries, as he gets to play with again there. They have Stephon Marbury,
who, Jesus, let's replace Steve Francis
with Stephon Marbury. Great.
Perfect. Quentin Richardson also
on this team here. And little Nate Robinson,
who everybody likes. Everybody's
got to like him. Fan favorite.
So this year he plays 69
games, starts 68, 17.6 points points 10.3 rebounds okay not bad on a bad
team you gotta carry a lot of the load yeah almost yeah he makes 13 million 333,333 dollars
oh my god so paid like a motherfucker we'll just say he's doing great he's doing phenomenally i'm so happy for him right now
so the on mtv cribs by the way there's some a lot of people pointing shit out on here he has a mo
cheeks bobblehead doll sitting on his bar who's his old coach in portland who got fired um he has
apparently and this is a weird thing a flat screen tv that's wedged in like next to a fireplace
but where the couch is set up
there's no way any human being sitting in that room could see the television what the hell is it
for that so i think maybe he moved the couches to give the more rumors i don't know what the
fuck he was doing but then he has a star of david on his pool table but he's not jewish so i don't
know what's going on with that but it's certainly a star david wholesale j so I don't know what's going on with that. What is that? It's certainly a star, David.
Maybe he bought it wholesale, James.
I don't know.
He goes, I bought it from this dentist, man.
I don't know.
My friend Johnny Rosenblum I bought it from.
He was moving.
I was like, you don't have to take that.
I'll take that off your hands, and I like it.
I like that star.
It's kind of decorative.
I like that shit.
I like it.
It's different.
2008, 2009 season. Here we go. Let's go to I like that shit. I like it. It's different. 2008, 2009 season.
Here we go.
Let's go to a pizza place now.
Barry's Pizza Cafe in Los Angeles.
Let's go there.
No way.
In L.A.
Let's talk about a guy named Gary Ferguson, whose name will come up more than once for terrible reasons.
Gary Ferguson's going to end up suing Zach Randolph for what happens on this night in 2008,
Harry Ferguson's going to end up suing Zach Randolph for what happens on this night in 2008, claiming that Zach attacked him in a pizzeria, which is a weird place to get in a fight.
It just is.
There's pizza around.
What are we talking about here?
Make fun of him for his pizza order.
You put pineapple on that, you pussy?
I don't know what there is to fight about while mozzarella sticks are on the premises.
It's very hard to argue with the smell of yeast and dough it smells so good bread and crust yeah that's amazing so apparently
randolph allegedly verbally and physically threatened gary uh ferguson before quote
attacking the guy attacked him gary's lawyer claims that his client walked away with damaged
teeth a messed up neck and back and a knee injury that will require surgery and scars on his face.
Holy shit.
Took a whooping.
Look at the mat.
His lawyer, Raymond Brothers, this is Zach's lawyer, tells the press that he met with Gary's lawyer, who Gary's lawyer first demanded $250,000.
Then Ferguson's lawyer dropped it to $200,000.
And then coming in at a bargain basement rate, tell you what, today, today only $25,000 just for you.
Holy shit.
Beat my client's ass for $25,000.
Perfect.
He took all that damage for $25,000?
$25,000, which seems like it wouldn't cover the dental bills.
No.
The knee injuries. The broken teeth. Yeah, knee injuries. Look around with face scars. 25 grand? 25 grand, which seems like it wouldn't cover the dental bills. No.
The knee injuries. The broken teeth.
Yeah, knee injuries.
Look around with face scars.
Surgery, all that shit.
So 25.
Brothers, that's our guy, Zach's lawyer, he says that Gary's own lawyer said Gary was, quote, out of control and just wanted to get a quick payout.
Oh.
Zach's lawyer said it was a shakedown, and he walked out of there.
Not going to let them shake us down.
Only to get a call from Gary's star witness,
who said the case would go away quick if they paid him some money.
So that's how that all worked.
The case ended up trying to go to trial.
All this shit.
It's odd that they end up making up after this,
because they're hanging out again a year later.
Yeah, Zach's got to be a forgiving guy.
So, Zach, I mean, mean bro stay home yeah at first it was driving around at 2 a.m obviously you're going to draw attention to yourself that way but i mean hey you want to drive around at 2 a.m as
long as you're not shit-faced go ahead um he's got his weapons you know uh permits for them yeah everything's good everything's fine there um
strip clubs hotels bars all this shit we're like come on it's two in the morning we talk about it
all the time if something happens to you at two in the morning in a club it's at least 50 your
fault because you're there at two in the morning you know that there's trouble lurking there
shouldn't be but you know there is sorry i mean I mean, that's just, that's life. That's where it exists.
Yeah.
That's life.
It's just the way it is.
So all this shit, but then you can't even go to a fucking pizza place without getting
in a melee.
Like, what are we talking about here, bro?
Did they know each other before or is it, is it?
Oh yeah, no, they're friends.
They came together.
Okay.
They fucking came together.
Yeah.
Even worse.
He's part
of the hoop family i believe if i'm not mistaken way worse this is even dumber at this point so
zach take our advice stay home just stay home go you have so much money you can go home and make
that the great you can make your home the greatest place there is literally get everything put a
fucking pool in put a like a
crazy basketball court room with a like a stripper pole that like spins around on the ceiling and
girls will fucking be dangling while they're nude and eating each other out while you're shooting
hoops i don't care do it all there yeah yeah do it all that's what i mean have a like a i saw like
a little like a bed like a bird cage without the cage, you know, those old time things with the cage.
But no cage, just a big platform with naked girls dancing and like grinding on each other while you're practicing.
Well, you're doing layup drills.
I don't care if they want to get paid for it.
You want to pay them this.
God damn it.
This is America.
The man wants to be called Muhammad Ali.
You call the man Muhammad Ali.
So anyway, that's what he instead he's doing
all this shit go home you can do it you can get
you can totally redo your house
you can get the best people on earth
to redo your house as a matter of fact
he calls someone in
and there's a knock at the door
and it's Dexter Manley interior
designer from New York City
and he says...
How is it you've come to arrive here?
Oh, my God.
Zach, Zach, you have... I've been here for 30 seconds, and I've counted eight stripper poles.
Eight.
Zach, what are you doing in here?
This place is crazy.
Oh, my God.
Is that a wine cooler bottle?
What's happening in this house?
Oh, my goodness.
This is terrible.
You know what?
You're fighting in pizza places?
Not good.
You, sir, you, sir, are white trash.
I'm sorry.
You're white trash.
I understand.
I get it.
White trash.
White trash, white trash, white trash.
I don't care what you say.
I hate ATVs with trashy. It's it. White trash. White trash, white trash, white trash. I don't care what you say. ATVs
with trashy...
With people... They're your friends,
Zach. What are you doing? Oh my
God. You're fighting with them. You're
sucker-punching teammates. There's girls
falling off the back of ATVs
while you fire guns indiscriminately at
three in the morning. White trash,
Zach. I'm sorry. Fix
it up. Fix it up, and i'll come back i'm sorry
poof and in a in a poof of of boa and feathers and everything he's gone and uh zach zach was
ready to take a swing at him he didn't know what the fuck was going on he was like whoa hey hold
on a second the hoop family surrounded him it was rough dexter's not afraid anybody though he's not
taking any shit dexter he's seen some shit and he He's seen some shit, and he won't take it. He's been through it.
He won't take it, Jimmy.
He will not.
So November 21, 2008, the Knicks have had enough of him as well.
They trade him to the Clippers with Marty Collins for Coutinho, Mobley, and Tim Thomas.
He ran through three teams before I even knew him.
Oh, absolutely.
He was going off.
Yeah, teams were, you know. He's going off yeah teams were you know he's a
good player but yeah he's got problems so yeah for catino mobley and tim thomas where tim thomas
play villanova i want to say oh i don't know i want to say yeah i want to say villanova anyway
um he makes that year you're ready for this number 14 million 666667. That's a lot of fucking money.
Yeah.
That sounds awesome.
That sounds awesome.
That just sounds so good.
One season.
It's incredible.
One season.
Oh, my God.
April 2009.
It's that time again.
The season just ended.
So it's police time.
It's police season, everybody.
They're ripe right on the branches it's
crime season it's time to it's time to spend that 14 mil in the wrong places oh yeah on lawyers
so he is arrested for on suspicion of drunk driving after this uh driving under the influence
but the charge is later reduced to one count of reckless driving. Plea bargain is what that is.
So that's what he ends up getting here.
He pleads to that.
So he's got just, he's so fucking, stop.
Just stop.
July 17th, 2009, he is traded by the Clippers.
I just remembered because he signed with the Clippers there.
To the Memphis Grizzlies.
There you go.
For Quentin Richardson. Really? Yeahlies. There you go. For Quentin Richardson.
Really?
Yeah.
So there you go.
That's how Quentin Richardson ended up on the Clippers for a minute there.
So here we go.
He's good now, though.
Yeah. We're going to say now that he goes to Memphis, it's a PR storm.
Every article is that he cleaned it up.
I mean, Portland was the problem ever since
portland there's been some hiccups but really that's just him cleansing his system of portland
i got news for you memphis is lawless babe yeah it is but now he's like now yeah i'm good now
that's all i needed was a change of scenery and you know all that i'm going to memphis even though
as all his hoop
family has all their myspace pages changed to tennessee as their residence it's gonna be
completely different now he said he has a baby daughter due in september it's like his third
fourth kid but he's saying now that's gonna change him completely obviously he said he has a family
now and more responsibilities sir you've had a child for more than 10 years. You have a fucking 11-year-old child.
Yeah.
It's been, you've had responsibilities, motherfucker.
Like, what are you talking about?
Your son is very close to driving.
Yeah, no shit, man.
So he says, and I quote, you know what?
No, this isn't in their own words.
It has to be because it's the ultimate,
I'm good now, and here we go. Let's get it on here. In their own words. It has to be because it's the ultimate. I'm good now. And here we go. Let's get
it on here in their own words. Quote, the past is the past. I don't even really want to talk about
the past from this day on. I want to erase all that. I'm sure you do. I do care about what people
say about me and what people write in the paper because a lot of people know me. I've got a bad perception. I just want to start a new chapter and just move forward and don't look back.
Be positive and help the team win.
Okay.
That's it.
That's all I'm about.
Positivity, my daughter, stay at home, help the team win, read the Bible at night.
Very calm, just doing stuff it's all gonna be
fine here he wants to start it all um he said that he's a family man uh he goes on a radio show
and he's talking about that he has disassociated himself from the hoop family oh is that right
don't even see those guys anymore don't know anything about him i sent him home fuck them
all right in the asses i don't give a shit meanwhile all of them have changed their residence to tennessee this is
the it's the biggest bullshit pub pr like swell i've ever seen here snow job he said that was
an entourage i had when i played for the blazers but everything he says is back when i was on the
blazers because that just means the blazers are known as like a cesspool back then of crime and fucked up.
So if you just get out of the Blazers and then go back when I was on the Blazers, everyone
goes, oh, he was on the Blazers when that happened.
Obviously, you can't you can't be on that team and not get arrested.
I mean, yeah, it just happens.
Even Steve Kerr was getting locked up every other day.
Remember?
I mean, he was getting in fights and strip clubs, all that shit.
That's crazy over there.
No.
So it's silly, the whole thing.
So family man disengaged from the hoop family.
He said, as a matter of fact, I don't want to talk about the hoop family.
Let's talk about my real family, where I took 20, that's 2-0, of my new entourage, my nieces and nephews and little cousins to disneyland
that's my new entourage yeah my new entourage take all the all the family kids to disneyland
baby that's it now fuck all giving those guys necklaces now it's about showing the children
a good time he said quote i want to be more active in the community oh zach it's he's just
laying it down he He's an angel.
I've been doing stuff that a lot of people don't talk about and don't know about.
So he said, I'm good now.
The ultimate.
I'm good.
Those guys are gone.
I only hang out with my kid and my nieces and nephews and little cousins.
And I go to Disneyland and I'm a nice guy.
Fisher Price fam.
It's ready to go, it's all good so uh
fisher price fam 2009 2010 he plays for the grizzlies they're 40 and 42 so all that hype
doesn't make up for the fact that they have kind of a shitty roster at this point they have alan
iverson by the way remember that i completely forgot alan iverson played for Memphis at any point in time.
2009-10.
Wow.
That is, whew, man, that's weird.
O.J. Mayo.
Who else is on this team?
Mark Gasol, the lesser Gasol brother.
Yeah, the ugly.
Actually, the handsome one.
Yeah, they're both, I don't know.
They both look like European weirdos.
It's weird that they're both related. Euro weirdos.
You look at them and you go, really?
Is that right? Weird that they're both euro weirdos you look at them you go really weird that they're both related so um anyway march 2009 his father dies not his real father his brewer his father died of liver failure oh no yeah um he said that his father had
had been in jail for the last 10 years.
He just got out of jail a year ago.
So he got out when he was a teenager, then went back in a couple years later.
Like, he was right back in for another 10 years.
He said, Zach says, quote, he was gone when I was in high school, but he was a good guy
who loved his kids, and this is what he wanted from me, to get back doing my job and to work
hard.
So he missed a game to go to his dad's funeral.
There was no strip club incidents during that funeral.
So that's good.
2009,
2010 in Memphis,
uh,
plays an 81 game,
starts all 81,
37.7 minutes a game,
20.8 points and 11.7 rebounds.
Oh,
earning him his first all-Star game appearance.
There you go.
So he's finally an All-Star after all this time.
He's always one of those players who's on the good tier.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's not top.
He's not Durant, Curry, LeBron.
He's not even that second tier, Kawhi Leonard and those.
He's not even those guys.
He's like this third third tier of like you
know real good players yeah yeah real good players you look at their numbers they're real good they're
just not all stars and they're not and sometimes it's a matter of just where they play back then
too is an issue uh he makes for this year 16 million dollars even not too fucking shabby i would say um not too bad uh very very good so
2010 2011 memphis 46 and 36 so not terrible they make the playoffs at least anyway they beat the
spurs in the first round four to two so six game six-gamer against the Spurs. And then the Oklahoma City Thunder beat them in the conference semifinals.
That's your early Durant-Westbrook combination.
Yeah, Durant-Westbrook.
Did I say Grant?
I think you said Grant.
Yeah, that's fine.
It's Grant.
Horace Grant was there.
Horace Grant was 105 years old.
That was a good team, though.
Jesus.
That was a good team.
Big Perkins. Oh, I love Sam Per. That was a good team. Big Perkins.
Oh, I love Sam Perkins.
No, no, the other Perkins.
Oh, I know.
I was saying I love Sam Perkins.
Oh, yeah.
You're talking about...
I know who you're talking about.
I'm talking about Sam Perkins.
Yeah, yeah, no, no, no.
I'm talking about Sam Perkins because I love Sam Perkins.
This Perkins I don't care about.
Sam Perkins looked like he smoked weed between every time he was on the court.
Hold on a minute, guys.
And he comes back much better.
And he comes out dropping threes and shit.
So this year for Memphis, 75 games, 74 started.
20.1 points, 12.2 rebounds.
Crushing.
He's not an all-star, though, in 2010-11.
He does make, though, all-star money.
$17,666,666.
So much money.
God damn. That year, he agreed
to a four-year extension with the Grizzlies
worth $71 million with
66 guaranteed.
Unbelievable. Holy fuck.
Does he have endorsed? He does, right?
I don't know.
Definitely not for sneakers.
No.
You don't want to put these sneakers on.
You won't be able to jump over a phone book.
Isn't a real good fucking tagline.
They only give sneaker deals to guys who can jump really high.
That's it.
Might be able to jump over the bar and punch out a bartender, but that's about it.
He'll at least slide over it.
He'll figure it out if he needs to punch a bartender.
Wear these when you go order pizza.
So it's been a while.
May 2010, according to a report, Memphis Grizzlies star here, Zach Randolph, is being implicated in an ongoing investigation into the city's drug trade.
the city's drug trade they're saying he's a finance guy in a drug business with his friends basically are doing it and he's giving them money which a lot of guys in sports do of course just to
give their friends something to do you can't be like your friend's gonna go hustle this shit and
he's gonna do it no matter what and he needs you he wants you to bankroll you can't be like
fuck you i won't bankroll it have fun struggling to get that money and then
selling it also so it's kind of like a favor i think this as if you're like a sports star when
you do that you're kind of like writing that money off like this will keep this person busy
almost like but also when that person's around people are afraid of me because they know that
guy's deep in the drug game and that too and that too um but according to this affidavit the cadillac escalade
that a guy was driving who they pulled over boyd is his last name here he was driving uh the police
found marijuana and ammunition all the shit in there who cares about weed but um it's an escalade
that he's driving that is zach randolph's escalade it's registered to to Zach Randolph. They said the target of our investigation,
this is the cops,
is Arthur Boyd,
the guy that got pulled over.
Mr. Randolph's involvement in this case right now
is due to the fact that the vehicles seized
belong to him.
And I said vehicles
because we'll get into this here.
This guy was arrested
while driving this 2008 Escalade
registered to Randolph.
Three other vehicles owned by Zach
are also seized as part of an Indianapolis drug investigation that resulted in Arthur Boyd being charged with possession and dealing of weed here.
They describe Boyd as someone with a long history of criminal activity, quote, from narcotics to murder.
That's very nice.
It's the guy you lend your car to, right?
Yeah.
Take my new escalate out
please murder some murder um yeah randolph's attorney said randolph is not connected to drug
activity despite anything a police affidavit might be telling them um he says that uh it's
bullshit that they paint his client as a you know supplier of marijuana and vehicles and all this shit.
He goes, it's not true.
But a foreman that's known by the police as a very reliable informant
described Zach as a finance for known drug dealers.
There you go.
They said, this is from the police.
Confidential informants bring up his name on several occasions.
That being said, it's just information provided to the police.
Okay, well, everything's just information. That information led to the police okay well everything's just information
that information led to the arrest of arthur boyd the bottom line is randolph knows this guy
the vehicle boyd was driving belongs to randolph that's the connection right now
one of the vehicles had what we call hidden compartments well the fuck else would call it
anything else is that your clever little name for them hidden compartments i was gonna call them whoopty shits what are you talking about
who would call it anything else yeah
statements are so much fun oh god i hate fucking people so anyway um yeah that's what they said
they said that based on information found in the Escalade paperwork, they raided a northeast side storage facility where Randolph rents four, I guess, units here.
According to this affidavit, police canine alerted to controlled substances in two of the four units, and police found more cars with secret compartments inside oh boy that all belong
to zach so yeah they're saying that basically his cars are being used to transport guns and drugs
and storage lockers that he purchased are being used to store his cars that have secret compartments
for these things in them so that's what they're saying here. They said Boyd, when they pulled him over, he had over 90 grams of marijuana on him,
divided into bags and a cooler on the floor behind the driver's seat.
I do like that he's keeping the elements out, though.
I like that he's keeping it like a humidor thing going on.
Good for him.
He's probably a good weed dealer.
I'd buy weed from this guy.
If you're still selling, if I'm in Indianapolis at any time, Arthur, get me up.
I'll buy some shit for me.
So, yeah, an empty suitcase that smelled of weed and ammunition in a hidden compartment they also found as well.
I guess the dog hit on firearm shit, too.
So evidence here led the investigators to stake out a suspected drug house where they spotted Boyd leaving the home while carrying a cooler,
to which they discovered more than three ounces of weed later on.
So that's how that worked here, obviously.
And that's the story.
They found paperwork leading to the storage facility, yada, yada, yada. So the cop said, quote, about Zach, he should know who's operating his vehicle and should be more responsible for these individuals
truth yeah
I would say
Zach when they asked him about it
talking about his storage locker
he said quote there were no controlled
substances found in my locker I have been
very intentional in distancing myself
from anything that would jeopardize my
personal and professional relationships
you lent Arthur Boyd your fucking Escalade.
That is not distancing yourself from a man whose fucking background ranges from narcotics to murder.
Murder!
No, this is not what they meant.
When you said going to keep clean from now on, we thought you meant, yes, not this.
This is not fucking good, man.
So it's dumb basically that's a dumb
thing to say i would say here um in the storage unit by the way they recovered three chevy impalas
model years 72 73 and 75 as well he had old 70s and polis in there not the 60s ones that's the weird part not like the dr dre you know
drop top shit this is yeah this is 70s ones weird um so anyway yeah uh they said that uh um
this jesus christ um even the team said this seems to suggest he hasn't completely cut ties
with his past but you know they're gonna say it's okay. They said, we're not going to say anything until we get more information, the team says.
They say, due to our ongoing police investigation, we do not feel it would be appropriate to comment further.
That's from Grizzlies manager Chris Wallace.
Unless some other information surfaces, Zach remains a valued member of the grizzlies family and
memphis community okay two days later what two one two 48 fucking hours later he is at the stars
with a z strip club in la oh why would you what time you think it is j Jimmy? It's 3 a.m. It is 2 a.m., but you're close. 2 a.m., I was close, yeah.
2 a.m. at the Stars Strip Club here.
All right.
Officers respond around 2 a.m. after someone called 911 claiming that a man had been beaten badly by someone or many of Zach Randolph's crew.
Right.
This man's name, Gary Ferguson.
Is he lying around just to get the shit kicked out of him?
He is their punching bag.
What the fuck, dude?
Why is he there?
Why are you letting him hang out with you?
Go home.
Stop this.
Go away.
Oh, man.
Ferguson told police that Zach was president at the club, but didn't strike him specifically
during the attack.
He said that, obviously, this isn't the first time there's been a problem with Gary Ferguson
and this whole crew here.
So this is 48 hours after this.
So no charges end up being filed against anybody here.
But he gets stomped out in a strip club at 2 o'clock in the morning.
Gary Ferguson.
So it's a little bit.
Now, August of 2011 summertime summertime
the cuffs go on easy
he uh this is up in oregon again what the fuck he's doing up there now but
he threw a oh because he's on the willamette River Cruise. Willamette River. He throws a Willamette River Cruise party for 100 guests on the Portland Spirit tour boat.
Okay.
Jumping on a boat.
Jumping on a boat, as we know from the Vikings, not smart.
So apparently somebody here was invited because he's got a friend who's a friend of a friend coming over here.
Because he's got a friend who's a friend of a friend coming over here.
His friend Cameron C. Cox serves as a live-in caretaker for Randolph's five-acre estate.
So that's how that works.
And this guy is his friend, this Beasley guy.
So while on the cruise, this Beasley guy, he grows medical weed, I guess, back then in Oregon.
So he told Randolph that he had a small amount that he could sell i got some i could sell you i mean can't sell you a ton but i could sell you some
i got on me so they invited him to the after party they said well why don't you come on by
you're you're gonna be a valued member of this after party then motherfucker yeah yeah it's your
ass on here so about 20 people gathered at zach's home for the party here.
And Beasley offered Zach a half ounce of weed for 120 bucks.
Which if it's good dispensary quality weed, like if he grows for dispensaries, that's a smoking fucking deal.
Shit's like 50, 60 and 8th.
So it's like half price he gave you.
He's giving you a good deal here.
Not half, but a little over half price. Randolph said, fuck you, that's like half price he gave you. He's giving you a good deal here. Not half, but a little, little over half price.
Randolph said, fuck you.
That's too much.
This motherfucker makes $17 million and won't pay women to fucking finger each other and
won't pay some guy for his weed.
He's this literally, it's under $200, man.
That's what I'm saying. I'm sorry'm sorry but you you know what i mean like
it's not like he said 400 bucks for this and it's like fuck you that's obviously a ripoff you've
made like 70 million dollars pay the man yeah this is fucking more than that this is fucking crazy
so he told him no that's too expensive so um beasley told police that he didn't think he would have any problem paying 120 bucks
because of his quote millionaire status yeah he was trying to juice him it was probably a hundred
dollar bag that he was selling 120 you know what i mean trying to jack him for an extra 20 but
you kind of got to expect that if you're zach at this point you know it's 100 who gives a shit
otherwise hang out with other millionaires and they won't do that but otherwise people might try to scam 20 40 off you from now and then and you
shouldn't give a shit about it so anyway he said that uh that is when zach aggressively snatched
the weed out of his hands and yelled to other people to get this motherfucker out of my house
he just stole his weed and told people didn't bounce him himself
told other people to please remove him at this point man out after i've stolen his weed right
he didn't even say it's worth a hundred here's a hundred then snatch it from him then throw him
out that would have been i can respect that i can respect that if he knew it was a hundred dollar
bag and was like you're trying to rip me off fuck you here's your hundred get the fuck out of my house you rip off motherfucker trying to
just because i'm rich rip me off but that's what he does he appraises things and then says yeah
you charge i'll pay zero you bid more you bid too high this isn't the price is right zach
you bid too high you are out either way and the price is right you can't bid zero right you have
to bid one dollar to be the least you
can't just be like i'll take it for free that's not an option on the prices right
this fucking christ so beasley told deputies that six or seven men who were quote bardy
bodyguarding randolph then surrounded him and hustled him outside whilst punching and kicking him as well not enough that he had his uh his weed stolen
at least one of them hit him with the butt end of a pool cue and left him in a bloody heap on the
front porch they basically beat the shit out of this guy with feet hands fists and fucking pool
cues after zach stole his weed wow this. This is Dick. Dick man.
Yeah.
I mean,
this is ridiculous.
So two friends drove this Beasley home and the next day he was suffering from
nausea and headaches,
you know,
cause he's got concussion.
He's concussed from being beat with a pool cue.
Right.
He's treated at Adventist medical center.
Uh,
Beasley's mother called police who then got her search warrant to go search randolph's
home okay sunday afternoon after a big party okay police execute a search warrant on his mansion in
the portland area here um uh james beasley is the guy he's allegedly beaten up so they can go in
here anyway once inside they find randolph in bed with a woman
obviously um who i'm sure is dissatisfied with what she's being paid for the experience
and ordered to order the cops ordered both of them show me your hands the woman put her hands
right up titties flopping around whatever hands up in the air randolph would not take his hands out from behind his pillow and
under the covers until one of the deputies uh pointed his gun at randolph and said he said he
was yeah fucking let me see your hands but this is getting serious so apparently at that point
he took his hands out then when they fucking got him out of bed they wanted to see what was around
there uh under his bed they found a desert eagle which if you're not familiar with guns, is like a cannon you can fire out of your hand.
It's a.50 cal.
It's a big one.
A very silly gun to carry around.
And also an assault rifle under there.
In bed with him?
Under his bed.
Oh, my God.
So they were like, huh, all right.
Well, that could have been
ugly even though we don't think i don't think zach's gonna shoot the cops that's not i don't
think he's that kind of guy at all i'm not saying that but has it there in case somebody breaks in
not necessarily the cops breaking in yeah he's got the desi ready to go that's how it works so
he um he later after all this happened called beasley's home and asked a relative.
Beasley wasn't there, so he asked a relative, quote,
how much money is it going to take for this shit to go away?
Right.
How can I pay this motherfucker off? So I have a feeling a lot of things Zach does never come out because he pays it off.
He knows what the deal is.
He knows you fuck up, you pay for it, or else it comes out in the paper
and that's a lot more expensive.
Right.
So I'd rather pay a guy off so uh anyway he said that um uh randolph though he uh
yeah that's how it ended up working out there ends up being um a bunch of interviews two women
one of them's a flight attendant they ended up giving the police false names so then there was
more problems they had to round everybody up it was a it was a lot um eventually though he randolph declined to talk with investigators he wouldn't
say what the fuck happened and they ended up not having any shit to charge him with because other
people beat him up so that's how it ended up working i mean the guy he acts like like this
shit happens to him when he is the he is the guy pushing the rock down the hill to get it rolling
a lot you know what i'm saying like in front of it yeah you can't just have a bunch of people
around you you know are super violent tell them to commit violence on people have them do it and
then be like well i didn't hit him like that's not okay that's just stupid is what that is so
contributing and financing all the fucker yeah but you Yeah, but he wants you to feel bad for him.
It's crazy.
I mean, you can feel bad for him, but people I really feel bad for, Jimmy, feel bad for all those people.
But these people here are the ones I really feel bad for.
Zach Randolph, UX development intern at Mutual of Omaha.
Okay.
Zach Randolph, system engineer at CareDX.
Wow.
Whatever that is.
Zach Randolph, regional inventory coordinator at Milton CAT in Saratoga, New York.
There.
Yeah.
We have Zach Randolph, chief clinical officer at St. Joseph's Addiction Treatment and Recovery
Centers in Saranac Lake, New York.
Wow.
Zach Randolph, project manager at Graphic Information Systems in Dallas.
And finally, Zach Randolph, shift lead at Takala LLC in Cleveland, Tennessee.
Jesus.
There you go.
Tennessean, just like him.
2011, 2012. The Grizzlies are 41-25.
They lose in seven games to the Clippers in the first round of the playoffs.
Now, January 2011, more problems.
One of his hoop family here got some issues.
There's a guy named Ruben Mata who is a bouncer at club 915 okay um he is shot
and killed in the street outside the nightclub oh fuck oh yeah um it is uh pretty fucking crazy uh
the man who did the shooting charles uh kevin charles moffitt they identify as the shooter
moffitt was arrested and booked obviously obviously, and hired a prominent local attorney.
How did he do that?
Well, I wonder.
I think maybe Zach is paying for this here.
But, yeah, Randolph was the owner said that he's a good guy. I don't know any of these people he's associating with.
They talked to Paul Allen from Portland because it happens in Oregon.
He's like, I don't know shit about it.
He's not on this team anymore.
Zach has a lot of injuries this year. Portland because it happens in Oregon. He's like, I don't know shit about it. He's not on this team anymore. Zach
has a lot of injuries this year.
Only starts eight games.
11.6 points, eight rebounds
a game. He has some problems.
$15,200,000 though.
No problems down at the bank.
Pays as if it's a regular season.
Fuck, man.
2012-2013, Grizzlies
are 56-26.
They got good fast there, remember?
They beat the Clippers in six games in the first round of the playoffs,
beat the Thunder in five in the second round,
go all the way to the Western Conference Finals where they are swept by the Spurs.
You betcha.
So the Spurs were kind of a machine back then, couldn't help it.
But that year, uh starts 75 games
averages 15.4 points 11.2 rebounds and he makes the all-star team again how about that all-star
team again so um he's doing well makes 16 million five hundred thousand dollars for this year
my god not too shabby it's like a hundred million dollars so it's more than that
on the way do you hear the total you're gonna shit your fucking pantaloons over there he's fed
up with the kids in the league at this point he's he's going old man pull your pants up now
fucking zach randolph of all fucking people he says uh quote i don't understand how these young guys can be so lazy.
They come here and don't have no work ethic.
I come from nothing.
I work hard.
I've got two max contracts.
I know guys who got max contracts when they were young and didn't do shit the entire time.
They just chilled.
Wow.
So these people don't, which Zach has a point.
He came into the league and made himself a better player.
He did. He didn't just league and made himself a better player.
He did.
He didn't just go, I'm talented and I'm making money.
Cool.
Like he said, I need to go in the gym extra time and get work on my fucking post moves. I can't jump, so I got to make sure that I can get the ball in the hoop.
He did do that.
He's a hardworking guy in the NBA.
So Monty Williams, who's head coach of the Hornets, he says that, he talks about Randolph, and he says, quote, I've met two tough guys who I've been with in the league, Charles Oakley and Zach Randolph.
Those are guys you probably don't want to push the wrong way, but those are guys that will literally give you the shirt off their back and pay for somebody's funeral that they don't even know.
But they won't pay women to fucking finger themselves in front of each other and finger each other
in front of you.
Are you kidding me?
Or for weed?
Sheep fuck?
That makes it even worse
to me.
That's worse.
You never met,
but not the people
that you've definitely met.
No shit.
Randolph says that Williams,
Monty Williams,
is like his big brother.
He's like his big brother.
Williams said,
he's a good kid. He's a good father and he's grown up in that. He's like his big brother. Williams said he's a good kid.
He's a good father, and he's grown up in that.
He's got a beautiful family.
People are always expecting perfection.
But if you're looking for that, keep looking because you're not going to find anybody perfect.
But if you're looking for a guy who's just real, not perfect, but real, then Zach's your guy.
He'll get arrested twice a year.
It's going to happen.
Monty's the coach of the year this year.
There you go. He's your guy. He obviously. It's going to happen. Monty's the coach of the year this year. There you go.
He's your guy.
He obviously has a, he's a player's coach probably.
You got to be in the NBA.
The Suns absolutely love him.
You got to be.
Well, you know what?
Fuck him because they goddamn lost again.
I'm so sick of this shit.
I'm about, I'm seriously about done with the Suns.
Get him to play better, Monty.
I'm about done.
I'm about tired of this shit.
I'm tired of, I'm tired of these great regular seasons.
I'm tired of these bullshit half-playoff runs.
I'm sick of it.
Either be good or suck.
I'm tired.
I'm done.
Win or suck.
I can't take it anymore.
For fucking the last 30 years.
I'm done.
It's frustrating.
So, it's frustrating.
2013-14 Memphis.
They're 50-32, but they lose in seven in the first
round of the playoffs to oklahoma city so that's a problem there um may 2nd 2014 during the playoffs
i believe he is suspended by the nba for one game okay i'm not sure exactly why but he's suspended
either way he starts 79 games this year plays 34.2 minutes a game.
He played 34.3 the year before, so very consistent.
17.4 points, 10.1 rebounds.
Okay.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Money?
Yeah.
$17.8 million.
$17,800,000.
That is because he signs a contract extension in July, July 7, 2014.
And it's a two-year, $20 million contract extension.
So it's just a quickie little player option deal.
2014-15, Memphis is 55-27.
Damn good.
They were good for several years.
Several years.
They're getting in again.
Yeah.
Comerant is. They keep coming around. Yeah. It's a for several years. Several years. They're getting in again. Comerant is...
They keep coming around.
It's a great team.
I love them.
They beat Portland in five games in round one of the playoffs and then lose to Golden State.
Because now Golden State is on their run.
So they lose in six games to Golden State there.
He talks about...
He's doing an article here where he's talking about his childhood while he walks, walks around Memphis talking about, wow, never thought it would come to this.
People are group cars are stopping and waving at him.
Zach Randolph, they're waving at him.
He said, quote, My father was an alcoholic.
I saw drugs.
I saw destruction and all of that.
There's a lot of poverty here. If I can stop one kid from picking up the rock, you know, stop one kid from picking up a sack of dope, then it's a win.
It sounded like he said he doesn't want kids playing basketball.
If I can stop one kid from picking up, because you say pick up the pipe, not the rock.
That's the terminology he's looking for there.
The rock is a basketball term.
Yeah, and that's why he had to he had to go you know i mean stop
one kid from picking up a sack of dope because they're gonna think zach randolph said not to
play basketball so um that randolph said don't make over 100 million dollars in your life don't
do it so he went around and was talking to kids they're saying he was just asking all the kids
school how's school how's school doing he uh He arrived in a black pickup truck with a tree branch hanging out of its bed.
And he said, it fell off in my backyard.
I have to remember to get rid of that.
So I threw it in the truck so I never forget.
Just threw it in the truck and it'll stay in there forever.
It's like tying a rope around your finger.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It happens.
He spends his free time with his wife.
He's got four kids at this point.
Oh, boy.
16-year-old son, a 9-year-old daughter, a 5-year-old daughter, and a 17-month-old son.
Wow, that's crazy.
He's got a lot of kids there.
He said he's doing great.
He said, I come home and it's about my kids.
We just play.
The oldest wants to play video games.
I've learned a lot. I'm a humble person. Okay. He's learned a lot, Jimmy and it's about my kids. We just play. The oldest wants to play video games. I've learned a lot.
I'm a humble person.
Okay.
He's learned a lot, Jimmy.
He's doing well here.
17.4 points and 10.1 rebounds that year.
Money, $16.5 million.
Jesus Christ.
15-16 Memphis, 42-40.
They lose.
They're swept by the Spurs in the first round of the playoffs.
March 2016, though, he's all about his kids and his video games.
He's accused of strangling a woman in an L.A. hotel.
Though later on, it doesn't work out like that.
But he says that her allegations are 100% false.
A woman who says she's a model
filed a police report
filed a police report with the
LAPD claiming, quote, Randolph
strangled victim causing bruising
to her neck. He's in L.A.
a lot. He goes a lot
to hang out in L.A.
Sources close to the situation tell us
that the press there, the woman
claims to have a black eye, multiple bruises on her her back and a sprained neck and sore ribs uh they called his
lawyer zach's lawyer who said quote it's a false police report the woman filed this uh late and
but later on admitted that she made up the beating to shake him down for cash oh you can't do that
yep she said yeah she did go over
to fuck with him but then after that she just um now officers said they observed several injuries
on her neck and back when she filed the police report on march 27th which is more than amber
heard could ever fucking say you know what i mean they all said i didn't see shit so i mean she had
that but a week later she changed her story and she said that there was an argument but that
randolph never touched her never even though she went to the hospital and had all these marks on
her she uh the cops said the woman told the officer she was upset and decided to file a
fabricated police report just to get his money do you think that he paid her off in that fucking week or what allegedly i'm not so
we don't know but he's accused of strangling and choking she's got all the bruising and shit goes
right to the hospital has all the requisite fucking things that say that and then a week
later she not only did it not happen like she said 100 made it up i did it for cash she had how much how much would
this cost to make this shit go away we know that's a phrase that he likes to use so we'll just say
that who knows though the district attorney tosses out the case we don't know could have been somebody
grubbing for money who knows so um uh the fucking thing is i i like this guy right i kind of like
zach that's i don't want him strangling people.
Yeah.
I get where he's coming from.
I don't think he means it.
If it's up to him, I think he'd like to go out to the strip club, pay for everybody's
shit, do everything, have nobody cause any fucking trouble.
They're happy with him that they think he's still down with them and they paid for his
shit and basketball's happy because he didn't get in any trouble and his wife's happy because he came home like i think he wants to keep everyone
happy and doesn't know how that's what i think honestly i really do he has a desire for a
lifestyle that's that doesn't fucking work no that lifestyle is you can't live that he wants
he wants a crazy lifestyle that doesn't work unless you're just a single floating around dude.
Yeah.
You can't do this lifestyle.
This is a tough one.
Yeah.
You can't say I'm just my wife and my four kids and playing video games and then you're accused of strangling people.
Vanging women in hotels.
Wow.
He does make $9,638,555 that year.
Ah, Jesus.
Shit. 2016-17, the team is 43-39. He does make $9,638,555 that year. Stop that. Jesus.
Shit.
2016-17, the team is 43-39.
They lose to the Spurs again in the first round of the playoffs.
Yeah.
Now, at this point, November of 2016, his mom dies.
Oh, no.
So now his mom's died.
His father's died.
He says, everybody who knows me will tell you all I had was my mama.
I never knew my dad.
My mom was really protective.
She took care of her babies the best she could.
We didn't have a lot, but she kept her house clean and she kept food on the table for us.
The house might not look good on the outside, but when you go on the inside, that joint be laid out, man.
I love my mother.
That joint be laid out, man.
I love my mother. That's cool.
So, alright. Anyway, that sucks. His mom died.
He's only 35.
His mom died. That's kind of young for that.
He does play in 73 games this year. Only starts five, though.
So, they got new guys coming in here.
14 points a game and
8.2 rebounds a game. So, not bad.
He's still playing 25 minutes a game.
He did make $10,361,445 rebounds a game so not bad still holding he's still playing 25 minutes a game so he's uh he
did make 10 million 361 445 dollars for that though july 10 2017 signs a multi-year contract
with the sacramento kings at 35 years old absolutely he's big he's big and you can bang
around down inside you can fucking hang around a long time. A long fucking time.
Remember Herb fucking, what the fuck was his name?
Herb Williams?
Herb Williams.
And there was the other one.
The guy who was a fucking, it was a Tree Rollins.
He was a player coach at one point for fucking Orlando.
He was doing both.
For the Mavericks forever.
Yeah.
He also.
He was Shaq's mentor kind of a thing they wanted him to be. Okay. All right. point for fucking orlando he was doing both the mavericks forever yeah he also uh also he was
shaq's mentor kind of a thing they wanted to be okay all right vince carter played for like 72
years too so i guess he did vince carter's ageless he just still looks the same last week this
fucking guy no he's incredible he is the uh frank gore of basketball it's insane just keep it keeps
being productive yeah August 2017.
He should be calm by now.
He's in his late 30s.
He's arrested.
Oh, God.
For possession of marijuana with intent to sell.
Oh.
He's arrested for weed in L.A. in 2017.
It's going to be a lot.
That's how much intent to sell they must have thought you had here. Well, it's because there's a melee and he gets arrested.
Basically, he's hanging out at the Nickerson Gardens housing project in South Los Angeles.
What?
Hey, Zach, guess where you can't hang out when you make fucking 17 million dollars a year.
The Nickerson Gardens housing project in South Central.
This is what I mean.
It's stupid.
You don't know the fucking projects, man.
No.
Whoever's there that
you want to see fucking buy them a house away from there what are you talking about right so
he is arrested there there was he's one of three people who were detained as part of a huge
scene that saw six cop cars get vandalized as well it was a bit of a melee um apparently had
a large amount of marijuana quote roughly two pounds okay that's a
lot of weed but you know what i mean if you're a i get it if i had that kind of money and i'm gonna
i'm gonna stock up i'm not gonna fucking go buy a quarter at a time i'm gonna buy fucking get me
pounds i'll put it in my freezer i don't have to fucking worry about this for a while much easier
but he's in the nva and he has a place for that
to be it doesn't need to be in your car well it's in a backpack in his car two pounds of weed
he's probably buying them there um but the apparently it was reported to police that
responded there due to a large group of people including zach drinking smoking marijuana and
blocking the street yeah yeah apparently uh when the cops came, according to them, three people were seen reaching for their waistbands while one person was questioned and released.
The other two were recovered from a housing unit and later arrested.
Randolph was being held on $20,000 bail.
He was initially arrested for felony possession with intent to sell before the charges are reduced
to misdemeanor possession
and resisting arrest.
So that's what he gets there.
He does plead no contest
to the resisting arrest charge,
but has the weed charge thrown out.
Good.
He's sentenced to,
you, sir,
may fuck off
150 hours of community service.
Wow.
Yeah.
If he keeps his nose clean and completes his hours for 12 months, the resisting arrest conviction will be wiped off his record.
So his agent said through David Aldridge on TNT, quote,
As we've said from the beginning, the reports regarding Zach Randolph were false and misleading.
After being accused of marijuana possession, all charges have been dropped.
He was never arrested with any marijuana in or on his possession.
It was in a backpack in his car that he was driving.
Did we say that it was on his person?
We didn't say he was holding it in his hands.
It wasn't just two big sacks dangling from his.
Hi, officers.
It was a wearer in the backpack.
He has been cited for delaying a police officer.
It's defamatory for someone to say anything to the contrary.
Well, I mean, that's the charges he pleaded to.
So that's what I mean.
It's not really defamatory.
He said, quote, I'm not speaking a lot about it, but I felt that I was wrongfully arrested.
Things that were put out there wasn't true. but I don't want to be a distraction to my
team, my organization, so I'm just going to move forward and play basketball.
It's fucking weed.
Who cares?
If I'm the team, I'm more concerned with why are you hanging around a bunch of guys drinking
in the street in the fucking projects?
Why are you doing that?
You're 36 fucking years old.
Go in your house with your goddamn kids,
you jerk off. I don't care if he
has a bunch of weed on him at all.
You're a 36-year-old who's one of the most
successfully paid individuals on the
planet. Get out of the street.
Get out of the fucking street. Take your punk ass home
with your two pounds. Don't stick around to
smoke me out, dog. No, go home.
No. Here. Here's a handful.
Fuck off. I'm going home. Yeah, there you go. Everybody gets a blunt's worth. Leave me the, dog. No, go home. No. Here. Here's a handful. Fuck off. I'm going home.
Yeah, there you go.
Everybody gets a Bluntsworth.
Leave me the fuck alone.
So 2017-18, the Kings are terrible.
They're 27-55. And he plays in 59 games that year, 14.5 points and 6.7 total rebounds here.
.7 total rebounds here. He makes
$12,307,692.
The next year, he will be traded
to the Dallas
Mavericks in February.
This is in 2019,
in the 2018-19 season,
where Dallas will immediately waive him.
They got
a roster spot free.
He does make, though, for that season $11,692,308 for that year.
But December 27, 2019, he announced his retirement.
May as well.
Who gives a shit?
Got tons of money.
The Grizzlies retired his number 50 jersey.
Not bad.
Career numbers, he averages 31 minutes a game 16.6
points 9.1 $200 million.
He made $200 million, Jimmy.
One-fifth of a million.
He's not even a superstar.
Right.
A lot of people, if you haven't paid attention to basketball in the last 10 years, you don't know who he is.
Yeah, exactly.
in the last 10 years.
You don't know who he is.
Yeah, exactly.
He's just a good player who happened to be in the right situation
where he was on teams
that really couldn't make a hole in where he was
and they had to pay him contracts.
They had no one else to pay
and they fucking paid him
and he ended up making all that money
for having a really not the...
Not the greatest.
I mean, think about it.
Michael Jordan probably made $50 million in his whole career playing basketball as far as salary goes.
This guy made four times that.
Obviously, that's not, you know, but it's crazy.
He crushed Charles Barkley.
Charles Barkley is broke in comparison.
Yeah, he had perfect timing.
He came in the league the perfect time.
He will try to play in that big three bullshit
league for a while but before that june of 2018 um his brother roger is killed yeah oh yeah um
he apparently there was an indiana bar hops blue hops blues room in marion hops are they doing like
stranger things are they doing that after stranger things?
Cause it's in Indiana,
maybe 2018 and doing it in Indiana hops,
blues room.
Oh God,
please don't tell me it's Hopper themed or some shit.
By the way,
we were talking about it before the show,
that fucking monster this year,
season four,
shut the fuck up.
Shut up.
Monster.
The more you talk,
the less scary you are,
bro.
It's just one of those things
a bit chatty for my taste um i like the silence strong silent type in a monster
that's got to be appealing to the kids right because kids are loving this show
they're just trying to make it like last year it was an 80s action movie this year it's an 80s
horror movie that's how they're doing it that's that's what i'm getting it's nightmare on elm
street this year friends are trying to keep friends out of trances rather than from going to
sleep it's the same shit it's nostalgia for parents but then it's uh candy and dumb for kids
that's gotta be it it's good no i don't think it's for kids i think it's a good show i think
it's it's one of those shows that you can go i think it translates to just about any age probably
i think so but it's just this year is just a little,
I don't know, the monster,
you can reason with him.
He talks.
Right, that's the problem.
You can sit down and negotiate with the guy.
I mean, what are we talking about?
Yeah, when it comes up and it goes,
rah, in your face,
you can't do shit about that.
It's just going to eat you.
Can't talk and talk to it.
So at this bar,
apparently he is shot and found dead in this bar.
Inside?
Inside. Inside. Less than 24 hours later, the bar is burned to the ground what and investigators determined that the light the fire was set
intentionally yeah so they think there's probably trying to hinder the murder investigation is why
it was burned down they don't know but they're they're um you know they think so the the blaze caused uh twenty thousand
dollars in damage they said that the fire was arson uh roger had died roger randolph died shortly
after he was found in the parking lot uh side of the business the police said no arrests have been
made here and um yeah so there you go it wasn't even shot inside and they burned the fucking place
down that's why i think he got shot inside, wandered out and died.
That's what happened.
I'm not positive.
Don't quote me on that, but that's what it seems like.
So Zach, like I said, tried to play in that big three league in 2020.
I don't know.
I don't think he plays that anymore.
Marion has an annual.
I don't know if they still do, but in the mid 2010s, they still had an annual Zach Randolph day.
Really?
Oh, yeah. They zach randolph day
you get to stiff a prostitute today you stiff a prostitute you know you you get you know you do
you get arrested with your best friends for smoking weed in the street it's just a fun day
it's a nice day it's a day that weed and prostitutes are free we don't pay anybody free free day october 2020 twitter causes a divorce for zach okay he apparently said that he claims
his account was hacked during this yeah where he said this is fucking amazing he tweeted quote i
married a hoe okay he meant to send that in a private message um i married a hoe he said somebody hacked my account
and did that why would that he married a hoe that'll be the that'll be the thing that cracks
his life open uh the tweet was quickly deleted followed by a message saying that his account
was hacked he's got it back now it took two seconds to get it back but now it's not hacked anymore um so anyway other people though discovered at least one other tweet from several
months earlier that randolph was bitching about his wife again so his wife don't know whether
his account was hacked or not but his wife doesn't fucking believe it because she filed for divorce
against him i'm married so cool man bye cool that'll cost you i don't know 60 70
million probably bye asshole that's that um she had had enough of him yeah but if you can't get
enough of zach randolph i don't know hang tight especially if he's getting divorced if he's
getting divorced he's gonna be out there man he'll be doing something i'm sure dumb boy like i, none of this except for that hotel room accusation where it's possible that he might have paid that woman off, allegedly, possibly, in my opinion.
All that shit.
Other than that, it didn't really hurt anybody.
It was not out to hurt people except for that Gary Ferguson.
If you're Gary Ferguson, beware of Zach.
Otherwise, he just kind of keeps to his own crew. And if his crew fucks up, he bails them out.
You've got to kind of like the guy a little bit, but at the same time, he's really frustrating because he's just fucking up, and it also didn't really affect him at all.
No.
He'd get traded, but he'd still make $17 million.
Who gives a shit where you're playing?
At this point, he's wealthy.
He'll be in LA anyway.
Yeah.
I saw a couple years ago he sold his house in Memphis,
and it was being sold for almost $4 million.
It was a big fucking 56 square, 100 square foot house
had a pool and doors and all this shit.
I believe it had an 11,000 square foot basketball court in it,
which I don't know.
That's just huge.
I don't know if that's a whole facility.
It's like seven houses.
That's like seven houses.
Yeah, that seems crazy.
I don't know if it's a whole practice facility in there or what,
but that's nuts.
Is it small and it's just two or three stories?
I don't know what the fuck it is,
but that's what they said on the Memphis News.
I bet she misread it. I bet it's like 1,100 square feet or something and they misread it. I don't know what the fuck it is, but that's what they said on the Memphis News. I bet she misread it.
I bet it's like 1,100 square feet or something and they misread it.
I don't even know.
No, because that's smaller than, that would be too small.
Yeah.
It's probably 11,000.
Probably is.
Either way, can't get enough.
Keep your eyes open.
That is Zach Randolph, everybody.
And just a fucking mess from the time he's 14 on.
A guy, man.
He just keeps it up.
He's very consistent on the court,
off the court.
Yeah.
20 points,
10 rebounds and arrest every summer.
That's what he'll give you.
He'll give you one arrest,
20 points,
10 rebounds per year.
That's what he's going to give you.
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This week's executive producers are Isaac Moya, who loves New Mexico.
Wow.
Evidently, it's an okay place.
He's the one.
He wants me to tell him that it's okay.
It's only okay that it's just part of the United States.
That's the only thing that's okay about it.
It's not good, dude.
Sorry.
We're happy you're happy.
Good for you, Isaac.
Enjoy it.
Becky and Junior Holt in Hawaii.
Nilou Rastvenjani.
Hey.
I said it.
Right?
I mixed the S and F.
We know her. I said it, right? I mixed the S and F. We know her.
God damn it.
Katie Scignano.
Sissiano?
Sissignano.
Exactly.
Those fucking Italian names.
He hates them.
Sissiano.
Jordan Bennett and Christopher McGrath.
Thank you guys truly for everything you do for us.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Absolutely.
You're doing amazing work.
Thank you.
Other producers are Jennifer Meeker, Liz Vasquez, Joey Pepperoni Nips, Carl Kirshner, Peyton
Meadows, Jude Kendall, Dr. Michael Furrer, Dean Campese, the Italian tank is what he
is.
Oh!
Lydia Bunner, I think, Janice Hill, Frank the South African Bird Washer, Zach Westfalls,
Faith McClain, Amy Mink Schultz, Mackenzie Sharps, what is this, Firstly Serenity,
Christy Bennett, John Lagana, Jordan Ecker, Tony Harris, Mike with no last name, Mike
Bailey Painter, Kevin Browning, Andy Muehlinger, David Wesley, Alexandria Whitley, Brad Veeb,
Chad Davis, Darian Reyes, I think, Serge Nozelg, what?
No, that's not right.
Reyes, I think. Search.
Nozelg. What? No, that's not right.
Ellen Winder.
Tabby with no last name. T. Lars.
Kelly Hubbard. Alexandra Zenkner. Kelsey with no last
name. Goopy Goop. Craig
C. Rennie. Danielle
with no last name. Jackie Cobb.
Jennifer Talbert.
No name at all. Somebody with no name
whatsoever. Amanda Agnello.
Amy Heller. Esmeralda Gonzalez. J.C. Davis. Somebody with no name whatsoever. Amanda Agnello, Amy Heller, Esmeralda Gonzalez,
JC Davis, Amy with no last name,
Josephine
Bernardson, I think, Sally
Steffens, Sean with no last name, KevBot
2021, Ezra
DeHogue, Katz, oh boy,
Skialababoff.
Yeah, you seem paranoid there.
Craig Bratton, Robbie Buckmeyer,
Jasper Miller, Mark Forward, Lynn Pearsall, Joe Trompen,
Olivia Long, Selena Devier, Shane with no last name, Sean Jones, Kimberly Mobley, Adrian
Torres, Rob McGregor, Christy Rae Suarez, Anne-Marie Wilt, Patrick Gaumont, Vanessa
Alcorta, Justin Dibble, Hannah Temple, Jordan Wallach, Kevin Graham,
Elvis Lopez,
Danielle Clifford, Trevor with
no last name, Nick Marshall,
Kate from Royal Turnbridge Wells.
I imagine that's in England.
Evan Beck, Anna Yu,
Yasmin Humphrey,
whoops, that's no Y,
Julie Helm, JZ96,
Scott Fuchs.
Claudia Catrash. Tim Shields.
Probably not. Jeff Mazarigos.
Jesus. Shane Alexander.
Greeks got you too now? Jesus.
I don't know.
Shannon Sander. Gremlin would know
last name. Jimmy hates the Mediterranean.
That whole goddamn
region. What do we call that?
Yeah, that area. We'll go with region. Gremlin goddamn- Fucking region. What do we call that? Yeah, that area.
We'll go with region.
Gremlin would know last name.
Leslie Irwe.
Kyle Gosselin.
Crystal Terberger.
Oh, boy.
Ball Chin Ian.
I don't know.
That's probably not true.
Julie would know last name.
James LaFontaine.
Diane Johnson.
Jenny K. Darnell Swallow.
Jesus Christ.
William Robertson.
Mary Renelt. Chris Helm,
Julie Strong, Josh Hill, Cassandra Ruppel, Logan Townsend, Alec Hitterman, Barry Misiel,
Chris Mackey, Kevin Slayton, Juliet Salater, Melissa Andres, R with no last name, Jarrell Arnott, Natasha Kinshaw,
Keith Bilen, I think, Felix
Ivy, Raquel Wakefield,
Monique Staple, Sarah Schuster, and all
of our patrons. You guys are amazing. Thank
you. Thank you so much, everybody.
Honestly, from the bottom of our hearts,
we really, really do appreciate everything
you do for us. Thank you for everything.
We do hope the bonus material
will fill the empty
space in your life and help us out too.
So thank you for all of that and
thank you for listening. Follow us on social
media. You know the show is social media but also
if you want to find us, very easy to do so.
Look us up, Crime and Sports Podcast
hosts or even better, go to ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com
where there is links to all
that shit in one place. No hunting,
no pecking, no doing any of that.
That said,
thank you again
for joining us
and we'll keep coming back
live from the
Crime and Sports studios.
We will see you next week.
Bye.
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