Crime in Sports - #320 - Jailing Nemo - The Designatedness of Nemessis Bates
Episode Date: September 13, 2022This week, we look at the story of a man, who never quite achieved his goal to be an NFL player, did achieve a lot in the worlds of both car washing, and violence! He was involved with what c...ould be described as "the wrong people", who were involved in an underground enterprise, so big, that the leader was considered The King of New Orleans. This was enforced with the help of a hitman, who used 2 guns, at once, and appeared in rap videos. This all leads to a confrontation over money, and Nemessis (real name!!) decides to unleash some of this organization's violent ways on the man he feels deserves it! Play for a major college program, but get injured in your senior year, make friends with the most violent gang in town, use this power to kill someone who dares to cross you with Nemessis "Nemo" Bates!!Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsports crimeinsports@gmail.com facebook.com/Crimeinsports instagram.com/smalltownmurderSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Thank you for joining us today on another crazy edition of Crime and Sports.
We've had some wild ones lately.
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This week, totally different.
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We have a guy who is not famous for his sports, really.
Barely had any.
And then he did some really awful things.
So we'll talk about this.
Great.
Before we get to this.
Yeah, we got murder this week, Jimmy.
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Oh, yeah. This is some murders lined up here. Oh, yeah.
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Plural.
Oh, this is some like New Orleans gangland kind of thing here.
Pretty good stuff here.
So very interesting.
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can absolutely do that that said let's get into this because wow is it crazy so let's talk about
him okay first of all he's got the best name ever probably oh of an athlete that we've ever covered
to have for a criminal athlete to have the name Nemesis Bates. What?
His fucking first name is Nemesis.
We all should have known.
Nemesis is what his mom named him.
But it's N-E-M-E-S-S-I-S.
Okay?
She just put an extra S in it?
For savings, Jimmy.
She added an extra S for savings rather than taking one off
i don't understand nemesis let's name our child nemesis okay name our child bad guy yeah and
nemesis baits sounds like if you yeah if there was a there's a bad guy named baits for christ's
sake there's a movie and the villain's name is nemesis baits i'm fucking turning it off because
that's too that's too over the top right that's on the nose yeah how norman's mom didn't pick that first go
i don't know i don't understand yeah how about nemesis that'll be good for you um but he it's
always claimed it must be true because it's since high school they always are make sure to say the
pronunciation of it isn't nemesis it's nemesis okay which i don't believe you what
difference why what why how is nemesis better i don't understand it but either way from a very
young age he goes by a nickname because when your name's nemesis or nemesis which is even worse the
kid's gonna call you neemee that's a bad nickname sissy is the other option not good either names i don't know
not great he goes by yo n-word that's not good either no he picks a different n-word as his
nickname though he picks nemo which having no what yes nemo when was he born that's what i mean no he we're talking this is in the 90s jimmy he's born
in 1977 so oh no yeah this is he's nemo from the 80s and 90s which probably sounded tough and cool
back then yeah yo nemo around 2004 it was all ruined a fish with a bad fin a tiny weak fish
with a bad fin that's terrible isn't it for this guy with a genetic
disorder it makes sense if his name is nemesis to call him neem oh you know right nemo i guess
that's better than neemy um so nemo it's essentially going after the the whole like
geno or yeah yeah you know i mean everything with the O. Jimbo, fucking Gino, this one. Everything's got an O on it.
He's Nemo.
That's exactly what it is.
So he goes by Nemo.
Until Disney fucked it all up.
And he was like, first time he saw that commercial, he was just sitting there.
Picture him just sitting there smoking a blunt.
Just blowing it out, being like, yeah, whatever.
And then they go, Pixar presents.
And he goes, what's this motherfucking
fish doing and he's like smoking and they're like finding nemo and he's like fuck
oh my life is ruined street cred over fuck me well let me find a woman named dorian retired
to the suburbs because i'm fucked here he's born born in Vicksburg, Mississippi. That's where he's from.
But from a pretty early age, I don't know exactly when, but childhood.
I could have made up a back story here, but I'm going to spare you that.
They moved to New Orleans. That's where he grows up.
And he ends up going to St. Augustine High School, which is in New Orleans.
And from what I was looking it up here
it's got a lot going on for it here uh nice place they seem to have a lot of shit going on uh from
what i understand uh like in in schools like in sports even they were the in 1995 when nemesis is
a senior uh when nemo is a senior they are are the USA Today National Champions of Basketball.
So they're the fucking best high school basketball team in the entire United States that year.
5A?
Is that like the big school?
Yeah, 5A.
Class 5A.
How about that?
USA, I mean, they're the best high school basketball team in the United States.
So a lot of athletes here is what we're getting at.
Is there 6A now?
Because they go off a population.
You know what I mean?
So if you're in a big school and you're the best athlete there, it's even more impressive because you had a lot of competition to get there.
So I think there's a 6A now, which means those schools have to be fucking insane populated.
12,000 people there?
It's like a college.
It's a city.
Yeah, it's like a college. It's a city, yeah.
It's basically a small city.
Because 5A, I think,
was capped at like 5,000,
which would, you know what I mean?
I think it goes by the thousands.
Anything about high school sports,
because they're the worst thing in the world to watch.
It's terrible.
That can't be it,
because I think it was 2,000
at my high school, right?
I think that's right.
I don't remember.
It doesn't matter.
The point is, I think there's 6A now, which is a little bit more impressive but even still 5a i think was
the biggest then this shows you that jimmy's not a pedophile because he not everyone that
fuck about high school not everyone that knows about children's sports as a pedophile
but everyone who's a pedophile certainly knows about children's sports well there's a 6a that
goes up to this and they know about weight classes and age requirements and all sorts of weird shit
that you don't know about so i'm impressed good job jimmy i swear i've heard of 6a if that's true
that's gotta be crazy that seems like a lot but here these guys i mean this was his senior year
they're the best basketball team in the entire country. So competitive.
Not just in New Orleans.
Not in New Orleans.
This is the entire United States in 1995, too.
So, I mean, I know Kobe Bryant was in high school then.
And there's a lot of guys.
Kevin Garnett had just come out at that point.
So there's a lot of, you know, that's a big time for high school basketball.
So this school, you want to talk about some competition on the athletic teams i mean you don't just walk onto the team and go i think i'm
gonna play sports this year you got to be a fucking player to do this man they're tough and they also
won louisiana championships in football in 75 78 and 79 so not too bad at all. The school was the – there's a movie called Passing Glory, which is – when is this from?
It's from 1999.
They made it as a TNT movie.
And it was about this school playing in the first integrated game in New Orleans history in 1965.
Really?
Yeah.
So that's what goes on here.
Looking at their alumni too.
I mean, Jesus Christ. really yeah yeah so that's what goes on here looking at their alumni too i mean jesus christ
just to stick to sports guys like uh derrick rogers leonard fortunate went here it's like a
lot of different guy um what's his name the four net four yeah yeah yeah four net when i say
fortunate i was looking at some i was looking at somebody else there's a list of a million people
that i'm scanning through in front of me and i'm like yeah so guys like that it's from there huh yeah uh
all sorts of guys um uh what's his name the honey badger guy he's from there he went there uh ben
jarvis green ellis played here uh who's the patriots running back for a long time carl
weathers played here no carl weathers action jackson himself carl weathers
apollo creed fucking also played in the nfl briefly but he went to the school as well so
lots of people went to this donald royal remember him for the magic yeah from these are a lot of
like good players and there's so many royal had a great flat top fuck man he was a great player
he was he was a guy what was
he like a cba guy that caught on and just like worked his way into the lineup just based on
and then was a fucking starter so yeah he's just so good he just that was just seemed like it was
all will you know what i mean yeah that's hard man yeah that dude's got a lot of heart but there's so
many guys you've never heard of that played too malcolm scott harold's uh rain
oh rainock thompson i've actually heard him for the cardinals um yeah a bunch of guys like that
that are all over the place coaches uh leroy horde the old uh browns running back and uh cleveland
browns and uh vikings running back tons of people went here basically so very very very competitive
is what i'm getting at for uh sports and he he doesn't play football until his senior year, Nemo.
Is that right?
Yeah.
I don't understand it.
I don't know what.
Did he play any sports?
Well, I know he was a track star as well because he's really 5'10", 190.
He's a speed guy.
He's a wide receiver.
And so I know he was a track guy too, but I don't know if he was running track before that then just
decided to play football or I don't know what it is but he's so athletic he's on the team even
though he hasn't been playing high school football which is saying something fascinating yeah it's
very fascinating uh he does very well he does so well that he's recruited for college already
after one year which is difficult because they start recruiting
usually when you're a junior.
Colleges have heard of you when you do well in one season, last season.
That's great.
It's also at this school, every scout for every sport comes to this school.
So if you're half decent, you're getting seen by everybody because the best high school
basketball team in the country is at your school.
So they know to come here for athletes.
So he decides that he wants to go to Southern University, the Jaguars.
Southern, which is, yeah, he's going to go there.
Is it in Louisiana?
Yeah.
No.
Oh, shit.
Is that in Louisiana or is it in, I don't remember.
Either way, it's Southern.
It's in the South.
Yeah, yeah.
It's one of the historically black schools down there.
They play grambling all the time and that sort of shit.
So they're in that.
The SWAC is their conference.
SWAC.
Yeah, the SWAC.
SWAC sounds like a good.
It does.
It sounds like pads hitting each other in football.
It's a good name for a conference, SWAC.
So he decides he's going to go there, but LSU said, let us give you one chance to change your mind, LSU.
So come on a visit to LSU.
Now, if you've seen any movie about some corrupt college football program or any kind of movie about college football, you know what these recruiting visits are all about. They pick you up and they take you and they throw like eight naked cheerleaders on you,
throw a bottle of booze down your throat, drive you around the town, everybody kisses
your ass, they take you to the stadium and they have the announcer do like a fucking
recording of you and they do all that bullshit.
It's a big deal.
It's a lot.
It's a lot to resist.
Here's a bunch of shit that will never happen again after that no one will ever be as nice to you again unless you're a star then they'll be
way nicer then oh yeah there'll be 18 girls trying to blow you not just eight right we just did this
for 89 other guys yeah a few of them are coming so we'll see what happens we'll see where you fit
in but they do these recruiting visits i don't know how the fuck an 18-year-old kid could go somewhere and have their ass overwhelmingly kissed not only by adults but also by like an institution and then a bunch of peers who are not even really peers because they're way cooler than you because they play college sports and they know the girls that they're bringing to you.
You know? Like how cool are they they know everybody like you know like i don't know how you'd resist that as an 18 year old they'd be like wow they want they they think i'm
cool too i didn't have that kind of self-awareness at 18 to the first people that would have been
nice to me i was going there period i was barely comfortable at a high school party where
everybody was the same that's what i mean to go to that sort of thing i'd be like whoa this is
fucking crazy this is this is adult stuff this is crazy shit so either way they uh he ends up
going to lsu uh for this visit and after this visit he said, I changed my mind. I'm going to LSU.
That was pretty awesome.
Yeah, and I guess one of his
teammates was Raynok Thompson, the guy who
ends up playing for the Cardinals later on.
He ends up going to, where did he go?
Tennessee and all this
sort of shit. So either way
he comes out of St. Augustine
and they said that
LSU, like all the pub about him was
like we got this speedy kid
coming out of St. Augustine this
guy's the shit and
they thought he was going to be something they really did
and not only that he is
apparently St. Augustine
for some reason and there are
as I've given you all these names and there was a
million more there are football powerhouse
like producing players.
Really?
Yeah, it helps.
All of these colleges, they try to have pipelines to high schools.
All the college coaches try to have good relationships with the high school coaches so they can get in, learn more about the kids, and have an in.
A lot of times these high school coaches have a lot of influence over these kids.
They do.
And they don't know anything. They're kids. They do. And they don't know anything.
They're kids.
They're children.
They don't know about how to navigate all this shit.
They go, hey, coach, do you know anything about this guy?
Do you know what's up with this program?
Do you know where I would fit in better?
And if that coach goes, I'm telling you, the only place for you is LSU, kid.
You're making a big mistake.
If you don't go to LSU, that sticks in a kid's mind a lot.
Sure.
You're making a big mistake if you don't go to LSU.
That sticks in a kid's mind a lot.
So the problem here is nobody from St. Augustine had gone to LSU since 1987.
Oh, wow.
And this is 1995.
So we're almost a decade.
Yeah, there's beef here.
A top football talent producing school, there's a problem with this. I don't know what it is, but we never.
They got Honey Badger in there too shortly there
yeah absolutely yeah same thing so that's what they're talking about is that now it's like he
nemesis is the first one to open the door he's the first one to sign from that to sign on from
that high school since 87 so he kind of opened the floodgates here and uh their coach said quote
nemesis bates is an out nemo we'll justates is an outstanding wide receiver.
We think he can come in here and play.
If you look at the past numbers, St. Aug graduates have not picked LSU for a number of reasons.
Our staff has extended itself to St. Aug.
We recruited three players and got one.
There's disappointment in the players you don't get, but you can't worry about the ones you lose because you can't get them all.
They said they were trying to get the quarterback,
and they couldn't get the quarterback from St. Augustine.
But they got Nemo, so they're thrilled with that.
So 1996 LSU, you know, the Tigers here.
They go 10-2 that year.
Not bad.
Not too shabby, which is for college.
They're 12th in the final AP poll.
That's pretty good.
They did go to a bowl that year playing Clemson in the Peach Bowl.
Up in Georgia, I imagine.
It would make sense.
I mean, who knows.
So they play the Peach Bowl, and they win 10-7 against Clemson that year.
That's a defensive war.
Jesus, yeah.
Maybe it was bad weather.
You could see it being rainy. Or just no's that good maybe that's all it is college drops you know
college game kind of thing yeah drops and fumbles drops and fumbles and who knows if it was like an
artificial turf with rain kind of a day where like the ball floats away when it lands remember
those games before they went to the horrible before they went to that squishy turf they have now that's more
like grass they had carpet and if it rained too much it would just be a river and sit on top i
used to love that though in football you'd see a guy go down and he would just hydroplane for like
14 yards that was awesome with like the big it looked like he was on a jet ski the fucking
the rake behind him yeah it was awesome that was so much fun to watch i missed those games
you don't get that anymore but there it was it was a rooster tail both directions because yeah
chomping up water from the front it looked like he was hitting a slip and slide every time water
fly and he's going pretty amazing remember what's that necessary roughness where he did that down to
the 12 but he hydroplanes to the four or whatever i don't remember what the hell he was saying yeah
so that year uh nemo plays in five games he's a freshman he's a true freshman i mean you know
it's amazing that he's playing he's not not even redshirted. So they must have really, really, really had high hopes for his athletic ability.
He has one year of high school football experience.
And they're like, no, no, you're playing this year.
You're not even going to redshirt.
Second year of playing organized football.
He's freshman of a college team.
He's playing for fucking Nick Saban.
I mean, that's right.
He's playing.
He's playing for the Tigers. This is a big a big deal no shit program this isn't uh this isn't bullshit
a band is playing every day when you're on the field that's incredible they're also still basking
in the glow of having shaquille o'neal four years ago they're like we had shaq you know like ha ha
look at their cameras here today because of that yeah you know that. But they've always been a pretty good football school, LSU.
So he plays in five games, only has five receptions,
but five receptions for 98 yards.
That's averaging 19.6 per.
So that means he's a threat.
He's a deep threat.
That's good with his speed.
He's got to have off-the-chart speed, this guy.
He's got to be crazy. You'll find out out why but i don't have any combine stats on him
for a certain reason so 1997 lsu they are nine and three so one game worse they do go they do
go to a bowl though still uh they go again play against notre dame and the independence bowl and they win 27-9 so that's so great that's i mean that's a
shit bowl but that's a bowl that people would watch because it's notre dame and lsu and those
are two popular teams so you name yeah you'd watch that so even in a shit bowl the independence bowl
good pull for them that year not bad so playing he's playing at lsu which is a big deal in the
first place but he's playing in his first, which is a big deal in the first place.
But he's playing, in his first two years, he's played in two bowl games against Clemson and Notre Dame.
That's crazy.
That's fucking insane.
So 1997, that year, he only plays in five games again.
He only has two receptions this year, which is pretty wild.
28 yards receiving total. But he has a touchdown, so that's helpful.
I mean, that's good.
Touchdowns are good.
They win games.
But he's not still, he hasn't broken in.
He's not integral to the team.
No, not at all.
Yeah, they could take him or leave him at this point.
So 1998, he's a junior.
Now you'd expect him to kind of break in.
The problem also is this is a very, very – this isn't Nick Saban yet.
This is Jerry DiNardo, by the way.
This is the coach here.
This is, I think, the guy who got shit-canned for Nick Saban probably.
Fred Assessor?
Yeah, I think so.
So 1998, they go four and seven, which is probably what got them fired.
Oh, boy.
And this is a real, like, ground-and ground and pound team it's not an aerial team it's
not a it's not an entertaining team like that so if you're no sounds off if you're a wide receiver
that means you're just running a lot of routes for no reason you're blocking a lot exhausted and
you're pissed you're not yeah you're not catching a lot of balls it's it's that's tough and going
four and seven and going four and seven no bowl, and going four and seven. No bowl, no nothing.
He only plays in two games that year.
Two games Nemo does, one reception.
One reception for 12 yards.
That's his whole.
If this is the NFL, they're about to fire him.
That's not great.
So he decides that he is going to transfer.
He ends up transferring here.
Now, this is the weird thing that I don't understand,
is normally when you transfer, you have to sit out a year.
That's the rule.
But he transfers to Southern, which was his first choice,
because they have a more wide-open offense,
and he's like, that sounds like fucking fun.
A couple people actually this year transfer from LSU to Southern.
Really?
Yeah, because the offense is so boring at LSU back then.
So he transfers to Southern, and before you know it,
before the end of the first training camp there,
he's the starting wide receiver.
Holy shit.
Look at that.
Starting wide receiver on a team that likes to throw the ball.
So, I mean, now you're talking, hey, people are going to are gonna fucking see me this is great he wants to be in the nfl so
and honestly to to get seen by the nfl back then or even now if you have a 4 3 40 or you run a real
that's really all you need they don't need all they don't they'll like we'll figure that out
for a receiver but you can return punts with that kind of speed, and that's all we care about.
The guy's
caught eight college footballs so far.
Yeah, and he knows all he has to do
is have one decent season with Southern
here, and he's on the board.
He knows it. So,
this team now wins the
starting job. Grace.
This is Grace. Oh, god damn it.
So that should tell you how this works this works out tell me he's not a
national champ well now the team does great team goes 11 and 2 not bad which is tremendous uh
problem is in the second quarter of the season opener nemesis breaks his ankle and he's out for
the season holy shit that's horrible doesn't that
suck and this is his senior year so it's his senior year so he's it's not like he got hurt
before and they could he could be like put on the it's just his eligibility's over now because this
counts as his eligibility because he played in a quarter so it's done he's fucked that was it
that's college he never got a chance to show he didn't even get to have one game for the nfl as a wide
receiver to show him on film like look what i can do nothing he gets a one quarter of play
he's caught eight balls yep um so he's sitting there he's hurt out for the season um i don't
know if something can be done with eligibility with injury if it's that extreme i'm not sure but
it turns out to not matter very much because they don't really go
out of their way to keep him as we'll talk about and now this is the problem he's at walmart okay
yeah it's about 10 30 at night there he's injured um what he does is anytime where we start a crime
story where he's at walmart this isn't gonna end end. This isn't going to end in a way that's going to make him look better.
It's going to be embarrassing in some way.
Limping down a Walmart aisle.
It's never.
It's always embarrassing to be arrested at Walmart.
We'll put it that way.
It's never not embarrassing.
It's embarrassing enough to get out of there legally.
It's embarrassing just to show up there and need something.
But to actually be taken out of there in handcuffs.
Walmart doesn't want you, but the police do.
Whenever you watch live PD, when they show up at a Walmart, you're like, oh boy, here we go.
You know some weird shit's going to happen.
It's super grimy.
You can't even go to Walmart without getting arrested.
You can't go to Walmart without getting arrested.
You can't dig through the five
dollars happened yeah dvd dvd bin just to get your energy out you know what i mean just something you
have to get arrested you can't walk out of there with a gray bag with a smile on it come on man
just shit together jesus now keep in mind this is 1999 mind you. This isn't fucking 1989. So this is what makes the crime even stupider and dumber.
He grabs a box fan.
You know what I mean?
Just a regular fan that's, you know.
Shitty fans that sit on the floor.
Yep, shitty fan.
We've all had a bad fan.
He grabs a bad fan, okay?
Opens up the box to the bad fan.
Takes the shitty box fan out. Takes the shitty fan out bad fan takes the shitty box fan out this is you know
shitty fan out it's a 14 fan or something i want the box not the fan puts that you know behind the
other boxes takes the box okay the shitty fan box inside of the box he puts avcr okay in 1999 now in 1999 now it sounds ridiculous but every it was dvds no one
wanted vhs anymore in 1999 you wanted the menu and special features you wanted nothing to do
with this fucking vhs garbage anymore at minimum you want the the combo the dvd yeah that's that
was ideal if you had that. That's the hot shit.
That's the hot shit.
Because you've got all these fucking tapes on the shelf.
What am I going to do with these?
He said, I want this VCR.
And he stuffs it in the fan box, takes it up to the register.
They scan it, and he pays for the fan.
1995.
Yeah, whatever it is, 1995.
And then fucking walks out, OK?
And then the police are called and security
comes and they open up his fan box and he's got a fucking vcr in there and they're like what are
you a fucking moron is that a parasitic yeah you got a bright yellow lsu shirt on and a fucking
pronounced limp and like we're not gonna notice you you dumb shit exchanging things in boxes kind of a you know you took
two different things out of boxes and then put them in boxes and you don't work here so
suspicious and in 99 there are so many cameras in all of these places at a walmart a wall every
they're everywhere every inch of a of a walmart's covered in a camera since 99 grand obvious it's
20 years later but i went to the store the other day to a target
to get my son some bullshit in the electronics department like a court or whatever there's no
there's nobody in there we're wandering looking in aisles oh yeah and and then somebody magically
turns up that wasn't even in the department and he goes i saw you guys on the camera you
do you need help and oh my god that's how close you pay attention that's how they monitor there's someone in there sort of go check it out let's go check
on them make sure they're not putting panasonic vcrs in a box fan they might as they might as
well have just put over the prices just go online it's easier why are you here there's no one to
help you when you don't know what you're doing. At least online you can look shit up. Over the price tags.
Go home.
We'll bring it to you.
Yeah, just go home.
Target.com.
This isn't a real store.
This is like a...
Just have this store just be like a virtual reality store at this point if you're not
going to staff it.
The store's just here for you to come here and see if it fits on your shelf.
That's all.
You can measure it. You can look at it and go, oh, look at that. Yeah, that's about if it fits on your shelf. That's all. You can measure it.
You can look at it and go, oh, look at that.
Yeah, that's about what I thought it looked like.
That's an order.
I'm going to order that.
Great.
I'd buy it, but there's no one here to.
There's somebody in the back.
Of course not.
This isn't real.
Either that or if you need help, wave at the cameras.
Have that sign there.
Wave at camera.
Have one particular camera.
Two hand waves. That means that means yeah one of these
like you're bringing a plane in one of these means fucking need help come out out and help me
the wait is over so far you're not losing the only thing you're losing is my patience quickly
i see that the queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth if it came up
and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
OK, so, um.
This is not a so.
This is a period.
Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes not a so. This is a period. Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
The Emmy Award-winning series returns.
How did I know that?
I have a crystal ball in my head.
It's an all-new season.
It's streaming.
You can say anything.
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So, yeah.
So, Southern doesn't know what to do with him because they're like, okay, he just got here.
Wins a starting receiver job, gets hurt, and now a month later is arrested for shit that just looks bad on the program.
That's just really cheesy.
You know what I mean?
It's a bad caper.
It really is.
It just makes you look dumb.
It's not helpful.
It doesn't make the college look good.
I want this VCR, but I'm willing to pay box fan prices for it.
I'll only pay for a box fan.
I'm looking for bargain basement box fan prices here.
You know you got the worst fan they had, too.
The cheapest one.
19 bucks.
And being the similar size of a VCR, probably, he thought about this at home.
This was his paper.
Think about that.
Wait a minute.
Yeah.
You think a box fan is the same size?
No, no, similar.
It's similar. A VCR will fit inside of a box fan box oh it'll fit that's all you can take the whole box of a vcr and put it on okay not the
same size but they're one fits inside the other it's not like yeah they're the same shape mainly
is what it is so one's bigger once it's that's what makes it great one smaller one's bigger
same shape it's not like one's a ball and one's a square.
You know what I mean?
That would be difficult.
Right.
With all the foam inside the box of the VCR, that box is the same size as a box fan, slides
right inside a box fan's box.
So that's what I'm thinking.
I'm thinking like this guy thought about it at home.
He was like, God, this fucking VCR eats tapes.
He's like, this thing's a piece of shit.
Things suck, man.
I'm not paying.
Yeah, I'm broke, man. I don't have any money for a new vcr
you see the way technology's going it's gonna be dvds in a minute he glanced longingly over
to his window to stare out of it as the box fan twirled as it spun he looked deep in and it
mesmerized him and he said i got an idea you think he's got the box fan in place of the window and then shuts the window?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Obviously.
You've got to suck the hot air out.
That's how I did it.
Yeah.
That's what you do.
Well, it's for him.
It's just to get all the weed smoke out of the house probably.
I would imagine.
And then you flip it around at night and bring the cool air inside.
Yeah, yeah.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
We've all done that in our histories.
Jesus Christ.
Are you kidding me?
You definitely want to suck that air in.
Yes, sir. That is Trailer Park park ac babe you know yeah it's just or a lot of the northeast just
nobody has ac whether you live in a trailer or not especially when we grew up we didn't
in the southwest that's just oh yeah trash people did yeah yeah definitely definitely
but like when we moved out there we still did that shit because that's what we just thought you did.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
You're like, oh, this doesn't work.
No.
No, it really didn't, actually.
Oh, I'm dying.
This isn't good.
Fuck.
I feel like I'm cooking.
That's what it feels like.
Oh, no.
Now it just feels like in a convection oven.
This isn't good.
It's just spinning the hot air and then there's a ceiling fan pushing it down too pushing it right the fuck come in and down you're just
oh eyes oh god so dry all the time that's the thing about arizona out there your eyes
every room has a ceiling fan on high in all seasons.
That's the thing. In winter, it just goes the opposite direction, but your eyes are always burning and dry.
Constantly with hot, dry air pushed into your face.
Constantly.
Outside, inside.
It's like, fuck.
At some point, I was just like, just with the wind, I can't take it anymore.
I just want it to be still for a moment.
I want to not hear
for a second that's awful too man the night time trying to sleep and there's just a constant
hum and a constant yeah or if you have one of those fans where the fucking
the string thing clacks against the glass and you're like
but it only does it sometimes for some reason yeah how is the fan working differently now
than it did earlier today and then it will tomorrow how does that work you need it because
you need it quiet right now science you need it how many people have like a scrunchie or some
shit wrapped around the pull string with the wooden tab every single fucking person has that
in case it clank clank clank cl. It seems to be perfectly balanced all day long.
It doesn't sway at all.
All fucked up.
What has changed?
And then it goes back to normal again.
How?
It's on the same speed.
What the fuck is happening?
Temperature dropped five degrees.
Jesus Christ.
Now it's all a mess.
degree jesus christ now it's all a mess he's wanted for a high class you know cat burglary of sorts here this vcr caper december of 2000 so this lingers for over a year um basically southern
lets it linger till he's not in the school anymore that's how it works here uh to where he finally
pleads guilty to this he has to plead guilty i mean he's on film
fucking what are you gonna do here's you putting a vcr in a fan box dipshit and then you pay
yeah there you go your seat says you paid for a fan dummy so he pleads uh guilty to misdemeanor
theft for removing the fan from the box and blah, blah, blah. The judge, this is his sentence.
Here we go.
He says, Nemesis Nemo, he says he just wants to put this all behind him.
He's very embarrassed by it.
It doesn't represent him, the university, or his family, for that matter, well.
And he's disappointed in himself, and he'd just like to move on.
Thank you.
The judge says, you, sir, may fuck off 20 hours of community service number one
and if this isn't the most treat him like a 12 year old thing ever this he's 22 years old at
this point yeah and he must write a quote five page essay five page is he in 10th grade is he a sophomore on the consequences of his actions
sites or sources motherfucker what consequences there are no nothing there's other than the fact
that he's a dipshit and everyone made fun of him at school as probably called him you know
he was fan guy from the rest of the season and two eight hour shifts and a half day he can he
can erase the penalty and. Now write about that.
You write about that, goddammit.
I went to St. Vincent de Paul
and I didn't get paid.
Dang it, shit.
So he seems to be out of football
for 2000 and 2001.
There doesn't seem to be,
I can't find any football of him.
The NFL obviously not interested
in a guy they've never seen play
and who steals fucking VCRs.
This is just not, there's not a lot attracting him to the league at this point.
The lack of playing time alone makes the NFL, even if they heard of him, a little questionable.
It's tough.
And then they hear you caught eight balls and stole a VCR on the auspice of a ceiling fan purchase.
No, thank you.
And you're coming off an ankle injury, too.
So it's like, strike three.
Goodbye.
We got Pop Warner players with more potential.
Goodbye.
This isn't great.
So he wants to try to get his way back into some kind of football so he can get some film on him and maybe get a tryout.
You never know.
That's the thing about the NFL.
Like I said, if you run a sub 4-4 4 4 40 you can just get a tryout that's all
you need you just have to do that and then you dudes on draft you'll have plenty of brain damage
in 10 years and your life will be wonderful 10 years you'll have a limp and won't remember your
kids names and it's going to be wonderful you will be broke though so that's good you'll be
you'll be awfully broke you'll have the hips of a 14 year old german shepherd but listen you will
have those glory days of having an nfl logo on the side of your 14 year old german shepherd but listen you will have those glory days
of having an nfa logo on the side of your head and good news is you won't be able to afford to
go get much medical care for it so that's the good news uh hope your wife has insurance yeah
exactly hope your wife has a decent job she's gonna need one put up with you
pissing your pants in your 50s well that's after you try to stab her as well too so it's you know
that's every time you try to stab her you pee too so it's you know that's every time you try to
stab her you pee your pants it's a weird thing so then she has to help you it's very awkward
that's what happens so 2002 he catches on with a football team oh all right where do you think
he's playing jimmy oh is it the usfl james no it's not around anymore from now oh is it the USFL, James? No, it's not around anymore. Oh, is it arena football?
It wasn't around from 86 to now, to last year.
No, not arena football.
Think smaller than arena football.
Arena football would be a grand stage compared to this.
Is he playing a beer league?
This is the National Indoor Football League, which is arena football.
Yeah, for nobody.
The B arena football. I saw pictures of these games the fucking stands you know arena leagues they play in the basketball arena there's 15,000
seats that sort of thing there this looks like they're at like a roller uh derby arena like that
level that level of seats that has like like you know like 15 rows of seats
that go around the thing like that's what it looks like there's high school games in texas
that have 20 times more people there by far oh no uh he plays for the homa remember we did homa
louisiana on yeah small town or south of new orleans way down there. The Homa Bayou Bucks.
Oh, my God.
And it's like a buck, like a deer, big fucking antlers and shit.
That's their logo, the Bayou Bucks.
Jesus.
Now, a little about the National Indoor Football League because, come on, they just wanted to have NFL in their title, so they're the NIFL.
We're just like them, but indoor.
They should really be called the nofl and that way
there's a differentiation because no some of their teams play in domes and we feel like it's a
crossover and they're stepping on our feet so um they uh they anyway they they they had jesus
christ they had their goal was for the first few years at least, was to have teams in markets not covered by the Arena League or the AF2, which is the Arena League minor, junior.
So that's a lot here.
There's not a lot left at that point.
You know what I mean?
So, yeah, they had a bunch of different guys here.
The Packers had, oh, what is this?
Oh, the Bills had Fred Jackson.
I'm sorry, the one team got Fred Jackson of the Bills after he was done.
Yeah, who else here?
Jesus.
Oh, Bam Morris was on one of these teams.
I loved him.
Yeah, the Steelers.
He was great.
Just to give you an idea, here are teams that left the NIFL to join or wanted to join another league and didn't.
Okay.
Here we go.
The Beaumont Drillers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The Evansville Bluecats.
Yikes.
They joined the United Indoor Football League and then folded the next year.
The Everett Hawks, who joined the af2 league
the fayetteville guard moved to the american football indoor football association which is
also did you know any of these leagues existed you anyone out there yeah in crime and sports
land anybody have any fucking idea that this happens i can't believe this at all they're
on a regular basis that people were going to watch the Fort Wayne Freedom?
It's not good.
No.
You have done terrible with your marketing.
If you're a part of this, you've failed.
How do you advertise this, though?
You like football?
Yeah.
Well, there's something that's nothing like it.
What do you like on Sundays?
You like that football?
Yeah.
Well, that football's pretty good, but take it down a notch.
What do you think of college football?
That's not bad either, right?
That's okay.
Saturday's a good day.
It's a good day.
How about arena football?
That's a lot of excitement packed into a small package.
You're going to like that.
It's not bad.
How about the guys who couldn't make the arena league?
Where do they go?
Well, you know what they are?
They're hungry.
They're passionate.
They're ready to kill for a spot.
Every Wednesday night. Every Wednesday night.
Every Wednesday night right after karaoke.
Like there's a karaoke to draw people and then they stay for the football game.
That's how they try to do it.
Right after drag queen bingo.
Oh, no, they can't draw like drag queen bingo.
That's why drag queen bingo is there, to pack the house.
That's its own night, though.
That takes longer. That is the game. you know what i mean compared to this this is a fucking disaster
what time does it start depends on when drag queen bingo ends we don't know
whenever it ends guys just keep stretching keep jogging in place assholes that's what we're telling you right now more jumping jacks fucker
calisthenics let's go we don't know anywhere from 10 to midnight it's a it's a party
tragic said there's one more round i don't know it could go to sudden death what are you asking me
for there are dildos at play first of all yeah well then they obviously there's going to be a 20
minute break for makeup upkeep that's going to be a thing there's a style everybody stops for that
and then we go back so it could it could go theoretically we don't know but it's okay so
the uh katie copperheads yeah who that katie texas then moved to the AF2, the Arena Football League 2, as the Texas.
The AF2.
AF2.
That's what I mean.
The Arena League already has a minor league.
There's no more need for indoor football leagues.
And I've seen the United Football League, the Indoor Football League,
the American Indoor Football Association.
Too many fucking indoor football leagues.
These are all going on at the same time because Arena League had a touch of success.
So they were like, well, that's what people want to see.
They want to see football inside.
No, we don't.
We just want football all the time.
Yeah, that's what people want.
The Lexington Horsemen.
That's because they only got large-penised men.
That was the tryout.
You got to have a certain something to be a horseman.
No, we're actual horsemen here they joined the united indoor football league the montgomery maulers the odessa roughnecks
the ohio valley greyhounds greyhounds are not a they're ohio valley ohio valley the ohio valley
is kentucky and all that shit that's too where the fuck do they play somewhere in the ohio valley ohio valley the ohio valley is kentucky and all that shit that's too
where the fuck do they play somewhere in the ohio valley that's that's the beauty of it they can they
probably have a bunch of different places they play because where are you gonna play they move
to the indoor football league the omaha beef oh the omaha beef just beef i don't like the The Omaha beef. Just beef. Like ground?
They're all beef.
We're angry. We got an argument around here.
Beef to me says it's already... Yeah, yeah, we got beef.
To me, it says they're already dead and just laying there.
That's not great.
That sounds delicious.
They move to the Champions Indoor Football League, another one.
Then there's a World Indoor Football League as well.
The Oceala Football.
That's their name.
Oceala Football.
We are football.
We are the football.
Jesus fucking Christ.
They're out of ideas, James.
Well, they turned into the Ghost Riders after they moved to the World Indoor Football League.
The River City Rage.
The Rome Renegades.
I assume Rome, Georgia.
San Angelo Stampede.
The San Diego Shockwave as well.
Okay.
You're lucky if you get to play there.
There was a shitload of Texas teams.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They love football.
Think of it.
15,000 people go to high school games.
They're like, I mean, it can't be worse than that, right?
Yeah.
Come on, everybody.
We're adults.
Shit, we're adults.
Sioux City Bandits, the Sioux Falls Storm, the Tri-City Fever, the Tupelo Fire Ants, the Wyoming Cavalry.
The Fire Ants.
That's great.
Tupelo Fire Ants.
And they joined the United Indoor Football.
Not even league, just United Indoor Football.
The UIF.
Jesus fucking Christ, man.
It's too much.
It's exhausting.
So the Bayou Bucks here, they were only around for three seasons.
They played at the Homa Terrebonne Civic Center in Homa, Louisiana
Jesus, gold, green and white, Mardi Gras
kind of colors, where's purple? I don't know
where that is but
either way, after 2004
the parent company of the Bucks football
team filed a lawsuit against
the parish down there, against the government
accusing, it's a long
fucking story but they folded
let's just put it that way
i would like you to roll your chair over because i would really like to show you a picture of two
fans at a game you can see the background those tits are out let's no no no no there's no tits
here check that out jimmy wow this is two men wearing no shirts with denim overalls with yeah
with a uh a T on there.
What is that?
It looks like a T for some reason.
I don't know what the fuck that's about.
No?
I don't know what's that.
The Bucks?
The Bayou Bucks?
I don't know.
Maybe those are their Tulane fucking overalls that they just brought here.
It's possible.
But they have Bayou Bucks helmets on with large antler racks
coming off of it
they've got a rack on the helmet
remember in Hot Shots the guy
had those on his
flight helmet
yeah that is what it is
look in the background that's the stands
from here to here
it's eight rows
it's like a high school gym basically
it is put down see look there's people in folding chairs on this side just it's we have better
accommodations at our shows oh by far jesus we we play at nice theaters they wouldn't they wouldn't
have this garbage in their fucking place that is crazy jesus christ what a fucking that's what's
in the stands quote unquote stands yeah that's what's in the folding chairs for these fucking games.
Getting seats and seats, butts and folding chairs, everybody.
And it's not even on like a stadium seating.
Those things are just flat.
So that guy's fucking rack is keeping me from seeing the goddamn game.
On the one side, they're like bleacher.
They're up.
But on the other side here, it just looks like it doesn't even look like there's a sign seating.
Just looks like you pull up a folding chair and put it where there's nobody else and
you watch this garbage unfold those helmets would be rad if you could put like a beer can in each
side and then run a little run a little straw down to your mouth oh well i assume after you
finish a beer you just stab it through one of the antlers and leave it up there
yeah if you're an eight pointer you're, you're like, that's, you know, you got eight beers.
Fucking eight beers today.
That means it's time to go home at that point.
When your antlers are full, it's time to go home.
It reminds you how many you've had.
It helps.
So I found this article from when they were kicking off originally the Homa here,
and I just thought this was hilarious to read.
It's from March of 2002.
Are you ready for some football? Yes can't say that yes it's in the newspaper it's an article
yes in march like yeah we're gonna play in march the homa bayou bucks begin their inaugural season
in the national indoor football league saturday night jesus christ they the bucks feature quote
a cluster of semi-pro football players from around the state who have played at Louisiana high schools and college universities.
On the team, Herb Tyler, former quarterback for LSU.
That was actually the quarterback while Nemesis was at LSU.
That's who they were.
Okay.
That's who he was, the quarterback there.
And Nemesis Bates.
So, yeah, he's on there.
They're all excited about it. He's one one of the people now here we go the Bucks will have seven home
games this season with ticket information as follows want to see what it costs to go to one
of these games can I guess please is it 550 no actually it's more than that to go to an individual
game oh yeah I'll bet I'll bet it's 17 18 dollars right for cheap tickets
you're right in the middle that's the middle ground here individual tickets range from 12 50
to 22 50 okay okay now season tickets for section a are 140 section b 105 section c 70 so you can
get 10 a game really if you that's amazing i sit there. Yeah, pretty fucking not too shabby.
Their schedule, Jesus Christ, I found.
They played the Tupelo Fire Ants.
They played the Mississippi Fire Dogs.
There's Fire Dogs and Fire Ants.
And what the fuck is a Fire Dog?
I don't know what a Fire Dog is.
Also, the Lake Charles Land Sharks.
There's that.
You got to have that.
Now, I found here one of the games nemesis apparently
caught a 24 year old touch a 24 year old he's 24 at that point he caught a 24 yard touchdown pass
here uh so that was good and he scored a touchdown in one game i found their schedule and what
happened in their schedule and they seem to lose a lot, by the way.
They lost one game, 81 to 64.
Wow.
Yeah.
Here's a game playing the Winston-Salem Energy, canceled in the third quarter due to a fight, it says.
No punches thrown, and we quit. I had to find what the fuck happened there, so I found the backstory of how, what kind of a fight could cancel a football game middle
way through it.
Weapons had to be drawn, right?
It had to be, what was it, Keeb Tlaib coaching one of these teams?
What happened?
There's no way to quell this fight long enough to finish the rest of it?
Absolutely not.
This, by the way, came one week after co-owners of the Louisiana Rangers, guys who were on the same team, owned the same team, wound up throwing punches after their game with the Lake Charles Landsharks.
They didn't fight with the other team.
They fought each other on the field.
The owners boxed each other.
This is the kind of cool shit that's going on in this league.
Maybe we should have known about it.
Here's the article.
What started Saturday as a typical night of indoor football at the Homa Terrebonne Civic Center
turned into a wild melee that resulted in the game's cancellation and the possible pending arrests of a fan and a player.
This is awesome.
Arrests.
Arrests.
With 27 seconds left in the third quarter of the homa bayou bucks game against the visiting
winston-salem energy the two teams who had come close to trading blows on several occasions earlier
in the game erupted in a wild fight on the southwest sideline of the civic center jesus
christ the incident even spilled into the stands and this is like a couple years before the malice
at the palace it's just this is the malice that no one gives a shit.
You know what I mean?
Trash at Tupelo.
Yeah.
The squabble at the high school gym here doesn't really rank.
So here we go.
The incident stands with one fan who said he was assaulted by a Winston-Salem player, consulting with Houma police ready to press charges.
The Winston-Salem player was told by police not to leave the premises.
In the aftermath of the tussle,
another fan was taken away by police after he ran onto the playing field
and performed what appeared to be alcohol-induced dances.
All right.
I mean, it was probably the most entertaining thing that happened the whole fucking night besides a melee and a brawl here um the fracas started on a kickoff return and at the
beginning looked like a fight typically seen in football simmering down after a minute but uh but
both teams soon left their designated areas not benches because they don't have benches. Those are your designated areas. We put tape down on the ground.
Just stay in the tape.
The designated area.
That's so sad.
Hey, man, this is our designated area.
We're going to defend it.
Where are you guys sitting?
We're behind the visiting designated area.
Designated area.
We're going to defend this designated area to the death, man.
The death.
Not the bench.
I like how they didn't just put in bench and give them extra credit for having benches.
They're like, you know you don't have benches.
They had to describe it exactly what it is.
The designated area.
It's a taped off zone with four beanbag chairs in case you get hurt.
They just put you in one of those.
Otherwise, you're standing.
There's a couple of wheelchairs for the guys that really need it.
Outside of that, you fucking stand.
You're standing.
Steal some.
In your designated area.
Steal some folding chairs from the fans.
You're tougher than them.
Drag it over to the designated area and sit down.
Don't act like all these chairs will be filled.
Come on.
Trust me.
There'll be empty seats, guys.
There will be plenty.
You can watch from Section A.
No one's paying $22.50 to come here.
Section A will be quite empty.
We're assured.
Pretty positive.
Section A is going to be pretty empty.
You'll have plenty of chairs to set in the designated
area hard to pump guys up when you go come on guys let's get all over to the designated area
we're gonna have a pump up talk johnny inside the tape seriously come on guys that's where
the hot dog vendors are just Just in the back near them.
Those chairs are for the water boys, fellas.
Stand with us.
They got a lot of work to do.
You guys are replaceable.
The water boy, he does something.
No one cares about you guys.
We could put anyone in those chairs.
We didn't even give you a bench.
The designated area.
Here you go, guys.
Here's your designated area. Here you go, guys. They already know. Here's your designated area.
Thanks.
I played Division I football, man.
They already know that they're useless.
It's just gotten worse from the Peach Bowl on.
There was the Peach Bowl, which was probably pretty good,
and then it's just gone into the toilet to where you don't even have a bench.
You have a designated area.
I bet they have to get changed like at home and come here in full uniform oh they've got it they change in their designated yeah they're like well they put a curtain up
around it like a yeah but they're like hey guys no you can't use the locker room the minor league
hockey team is here on the weekends and they don't want you in there so you guys are oh you're well
below the minor league hockey team yeah those guys you know they're in there cleaning it for
them yeah you can't be in there but we're just gonna get it dirty too yeah but the janitor shift
is only right now they said they won't clean up your garbage they said if you if they were ready
to clean up your shit that's what they would have given you a bench that's why you don't even have
a bench you have a designated area because they don't care about you.
They're only willing to hose out a designated area.
That's all they're willing to do for you.
We're sorry.
Designated area.
That is fucking terrible.
Then it says, while songs such as Bad Boys by Inner Circle, which is the cop song, if you don't know,
and Eye of the Tiger, which we know what that is by survivor play so while this melee is going on the public the pa announcer just starts playing
pump up songs to make it more of a you can't play eye of the tiger and expect people to stop fighting
he's playing is that in rocky for christ's sake it is it's the rocky so it made rocky be able to
beat up carl weathers think about that sylvester stallone's five foot seven he beat up Carl Weathers. Think about that. Sylvester Stallone's 5'7".
He beat up Carl Weathers because of Eye of the Tiger.
Actually, Eye of the Tiger was the Mr. T.
Either way, he beat up Mr. T, for Christ's sake.
Sylvester Stallone can't beat up Mr. T in 1983 unless Eye of the Tiger's playing.
And then some crazy thing happens, and you never know.
This is amazing.
So they played through the building's public address system.
Homa police entered the playing field to help calm the madness.
Oh, God.
I love the tiger.
And the cops are coming with nightsticks drawn.
There's clouds of pepper spray everywhere.
The guys are being told to get back to your designated areas now.
Designated area clearing brawl.
It's crazy. Yeah, it was aated area clearing brawl. It's crazy.
Yeah, it was a designated area clearing brawl.
The designated areas cleared out, and it was terrible.
We couldn't do it.
I'd hate to be a designated area warmer on a team.
That's bad.
You don't even get to play.
You just have to stand.
You're a designated area warmer.
It's bad.
a designated area warmer it's bad so uh ultimately bayou bucks official said all but two winston salem players and all but three homa players were ejected from the game so we've got five players
left combined five players combined which is a one all-time quarterback on a two and two that's
what we're playing we've all played that in the yard. Everybody said five people.
It's like, well, all-time quarterback, two-on-two.
Let's do it.
Let's go.
Let's go.
We're fucking doing it.
But no, they decided we're calling off the game, pussies.
Yeah.
I mean, come on.
These people paid, what, $12 to see this?
Come on.
According to Bayou Bucks coach Jackips jr seniors all embarrassed that this is
bringing his good name into this son could you change your name i didn't want to hear about
the fucking league and now you've now you've involved me in this almighty i google and here
i am uh the situation was made worse by a lack of control by referees throughout the game what
level of referees are they getting?
NFL officials suck.
Can you imagine how bad these fucking refs are?
They're terrible.
They have other jobs for sure.
Are you kidding me?
For sure.
They're getting $20 to do this.
There's no way they're going to.
They drink in the car before they enter here.
There's no way they're going to. They drink in the car before they enter here. Like it's. There's no way they're going to compromise health and body for these criminals.
For fucking a bunch of people in their designated areas.
Oh, my God.
I think he said, I think the officials let this game get out of hand from the beginning.
Then, unquote, there.
More than 20 minutes after the first punch was thrown, just as matters seemed to cool down and several players retired to the locker room.
I'm going to put quotes around locker room at one end of the arena.
Players began fighting again.
The public address announcer then called for an all for all police to report back to the building.
After you played fucking Eye of the Tiger, you know, you want the cops in here.
You and you contributed if you
didn't ignite it and he said 9-1-1 emergency he said yeah my house is on fire currently i'm
standing out in the yard um hold on a sec splash what was that sir no i'm pouring gasoline on it
right now but you need to get down here and put it out i just had some extra gasoline i didn't
know what to do with it so i figured i put it on the fire right is that what you do that's what he did please come over and put it out
fucking assholed fire in a crowded theater and then was like oh there's people being trampled
it's crazy in here it's weird right he should have seriously everyone should have stopped and
beat the shit out of him that would have been better that would have been amazing that would
have been amazing hey beat the shit out of that guy well i am the tiger
please stop you have cleats on this soundtracked his own murder god jesus make it stop
stabbed to death three quarters of an inch at a time
so many holes in my face. Rise it up, out on the street.
Oh, God, it hurts. It stings so bad.
I'm sweating into it now.
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Shortly after he announced that with the energy ahead 50 to 21,
the game was over and all fans were asked to leave the arena.
Everybody get out.
Ain't got to go home, but you got to get the fuck out of here.
Beer sales shut off about 10 minutes ago, so we're done.
Bye.
Holy fucking balls, man.
And it says some shit that happened in the game.
Apparently, the Bucs cut the energy's lead to 50-21.
That's an optimistic way to put it.
Cut the lead from 50-21.
Got slightly closer.
You still aren't even halfway there.
The Bucs made the score slightly less
embarrassing by bringing it up
to 21. That's a better line.
After Mike Schaefer's kickoff
bounced over the back wall with 27
seconds left in the third quarter.
Shortly after the play, two energy players were on top of a Bucs player near the midfield wall.
After the three players were separated, minor scuffles broke out.
Then the worst display of unsportsmanlike conduct broke out.
And the announcer played Eye of the Tiger.
And then bad boys once the cops came in.
Yeah.
On sportsmanship.
The home team heckled.
The problem is the PA guys at these small things, they are like local radio DJs.
They're local radio DJs.
They think they're being funny.
The baseball team here has a local radio DJ as their guy.
I don't know anything about them, but I'm sure it's fucking, I'm sure it's sound effects
and Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonations or whatever morning zoo guys do.
I don't fucking know anymore.
But that's what he's doing.
So he's like, I'd be clever if I played bad boys as the cops run in.
So anyway, yeah.
Energy offensive lineman Gene Downing, 6'6", 350 pounds.
He must have., my God.
Imagine how little talent he has to be playing here if he's that big.
He must have no talent whatsoever.
That is so much math.
He hit Bucs receiver Clint Schexnader in the back with his left hand.
Schaefer came to the defense of his teammate by shoving Downing
and was hit in the back with a Bucs helmet Downing was holding.
So they started beating each other with helmets.
Carell said, oh, God, 490 AMs off the bench show.
They're talking about them.
How many people are listening to that?
Yeah.
AM radio.
AM radio.
You do not swing a helmet to break up a fight.
You swing a helmet to hurt someone.
If Downing is not suspended, something's not right.
Who cares? no one's
watching oh my god he said that the other coach said downing's conduct was totally unacceptable
and he was remorseful downing was on the bus trip home he felt bad of course it's a bus trip
um not not a team bus they just took separate greyhounds to wherever they were going. City buses.
City buses, that's it.
Jumped on the blue line.
The radio guy said, I'm very upset and appalled about what happened.
The head of the officials, George Nash, and I get too involved and should just watch the game.
I take a big interest in my team. You can't control grown men, but you can treat them professionally.
I will not let any professional any official player
or anyone else take advantage of one of my players is the radio guy a coach of one of these teams oh
he was on he wasn't coasting okay he's on the radio we have the coach of this team you've never
heard of today yeah hey coach how's it going um so he also blamed it on the officials he said you
know something was going to happen because the officials let it get away. I'm appalled by the officials
in this league. What do you
want? What do you want?
Who are you hiring? Jesus
Christ. So, yeah,
anyway, that's how this all went, and
then the rest of the year they played, and
that's how that goes. So, 2003
I found here.
The Homa
Bayou Bucks are doing very well
this year.
Bates, they said
this happened. One of the guys says,
quote, Bates just quick-cutted us
or cut-quicked us in the second
half. What is cut-quicked?
Quick-cutted? I don't know. He said cut-quicked
us in the second half. We couldn't get to
him. His little cracks that
we had covered up in the first... He hit little cracks we had covered up in the second half we couldn't get to him his little cracks that had that we had covered up in
the he he hit little cracks we had covered up in the first half so he was playing like a running
back position after that and um anyway there you go so he's playing like a running back in some
league you've never heard of where games get called off due to fights that the announcers
egg on with pump up music that end up having everybody but five combined from both teams ejected only five
people stayed in their designated areas in the entire fucking rosters of both teams there are
five good boys on both teams combined that's it so not surprisingly he does not end up in the nfl
based on these performances here so what does he do he returns to new orleans which
i'm sure he was commuting to home anyway you don't move to homa to play seven home games of
some shit team he works as a bouncer at a club for a while you know then does that and he later
opens up a car wash that's what he does he opens up nemo's car wash now he's like fuck it i'll use the name to my advantage
yeah everybody's been making fun of me for the past few years you know what use my name mix some
water in rub a dub dub your car's clean your car's clean rubbed it with my fucking messed up wing
here so um people everybody said that a lot of people mistook him for a new orleans saint all
the time because the way he carried himself as a football player.
And later on, a prosecutor will say this about him.
Quote, he never had any friends growing up.
Oh, that's a bit of insight on old Nemo here.
He had an inferiority complex.
He pretended like he was in the pros, dressed like he played pro football, driving a Hummer, gold chains.
That's what attracted
people to nemo how the fuck did he do that that's the deal uh he's owning a car wash and from what
i understand it's not you know he's not making money hand over fist from a car wash but he's
living like and flashing like he's got everything so we gotta wonder who he is hanging out with what
he's doing uh well let's introduce some people here.
Now, we're not saying he's a part of this crew, but this whole crew you have to know about because he's definitely in their orbit.
Very much so.
OK, this is their they're called the Hankton crew is what everybody knows them as.
It's Telly Hankton.
Have you ever heard of Telly Hankton?
He's a New orleans criminal legend
basically he's a yeah he's the like uh well-known that people made songs about him and shit like
yeah he's the the most well-known kind of new orleans street gangster of a of the late 90s
early 2000s basically all right telly hankton wild telly they called him and um yeah he's got
some cousins that are involved in this shit as well and brothers and all sorts of shit he actually
at one point in 2011 became uh new orleans public enemy number one according to the mayor
called held a press conference and called him out by name as public enemy number one in the city of
new orleans we're looking for you telly that's not good that's things are going bad there they're
they're they're playing eye of the tiger over the speakers and people are looking for you
for your freedom absolutely he uh they held a press conference uh apparently the crew the
hank one of the hankton crew had murdered a bar manager named curt Matthews at the Jazz Daiquiri Bar.
Only in New Orleans would you mix daiquiris and jazz together
and call that a business proposal.
What's your idea for this business?
Jazz music and daiquiris.
Sold.
What is it, New Orleans?
No problem.
What are you going to sell?
Daiquiris.
How are you going to make that?
They're everywhere.
Jazz music. Jazz music. what are you gonna sell daiquiris how are you gonna make that they're everywhere but we jazz music jazz music it's like the the the shape of it's a trumpet it's a plastic trumpet that we put
the drink in and you can walk down the street in it it's pretty cool and you slurp strawberry booze
out of it oh it's great super great then you show everyone your tits because you're so drunk
you can't help it so uh yeah they did all of this shit. And that's why. Because they killed this manager of a bar. This is that's wild to have a fucking press conference to call someone. Apparently, this guy, his brother, John, I guess the guy who got shot is John. Right. Yes. Yes. John Matthews? Curtis, right? Curtis Matthews. Curtis Matthews, yes.
Apparently, his brother John was the owner of the bar,
and his brother had been shot 17 times in his home.
Holy shit.
So the other guy stepped in there,
and yeah, the reason they're doing this,
the Hankton Associates attempted to kill John Matthews,
Curtis's brother, following his testimony at Telly Hankton's trial in the death of a man named Darnell Stewart.
He testified against him, shot this guy up.
This guy took off.
His brother took over his business.
Then they killed his brother.
Wow.
So, yeah.
Apparently, it says, I'll just give you quotes here.
This is Darnell Stewart, the original murder.
Following a rolling gun battle, Stewart was chased down and ran over by a high-performance car in front of the daiquiri shop in May of 2008.
After crashing his car and taking off on foot, he was launched into the air and pistol whipped after slamming back down to the earth
what uh they ran him down he flew in the air after being hit and they beat the shit out of
him with a gun then they shot him 11 times with a nine millimeter god that's that's that guy's
ending they are so mad at him yes that was how mad can you fucking be it's like someone named you nemesis
or something that's how mad you are imagine being so mad at somebody i can't imagine you wish you
could send people back to their designated areas after that sort of thing you know what i mean
so yeah that's what happened that all happened right in front of the jazz daiquiri bar that's
why the john matthews guy saw it and was like, oh, shit, and then had to testify.
And then he got shot a bunch and left.
And then his brother took over and they shot his brother, too.
Oh, my God.
So this is a lot.
These guys don't fuck around.
They'll kill you over some coconut Bacardi.
Oh, my God.
So at the press conference, the mayor said, quote, I'm sending a message loud and clear to Telly Hankton and his family and anyone else associated with this.
We're coming to get you.
And your family.
And your family.
And then Eye of the Tiger blared through fucking Volkswagen-sized speakers.
Bad boys, bad boys.
Oh, man.
What you gonna do?
And also offered $10,000 to Crimestoppers
to help them aid in the finding of Curtis Matthews' killer.
Wow.
But, yeah, this is fucking nuts is what it is.
They claim that Hankton started a,
what they call later on,
a $43 million drug empire here.
Here's kind of a timeline of telly hankton okay 94 to 97 he and his buddy or his cousin thomas hankton start buying they start
selling coke they go from street dealing and step it up to kilos and during that time wow so you
step up to kilos and then you start cutting it that way. And then after a while you start selling fucking weight to the people who are buying kilos.
And that's how this goes.
By 1998, Telly starts buying, you know, five, six kilos every couple weeks.
Holy shit.
And becomes, you know, a pretty big supplier in the New Orleans area.
You only need to do that two, three times and you are a millionaire.
And you are fine.
You got a lot of money.
Quit. Retire. Stop. Nobody does nobody does that though they keep doing it um so march 3rd 99 derrick smothers and terrell smothers shoot uh a guy some guy who they know here there's a murder that they're
talking about later then march 22nd 2000 tellyy Hankton shoots another guy from the organization over missing drugs and money that this guy had been storing from him.
This guy he shot is his cousin, by the way, Frank Hankton.
Shot his own cousin.
Yes.
Yeah, that's what happens there.
So they're mad at Frank Hankton.
They shoot him over the missing drugs and money.
Frank, though, blamed his daughter, said, it wasn't even me.
My daughter did it.
But they shot Frank anyway.
Then a month later, they shoot his daughter, too.
Don't worry.
She'll get hurt.
Yeah.
We're going to shoot you also, but then we'll shoot your daughter.
Venise Brazley is her name.
She shot and killed along with a man named Calvin Fox, who I think... They killed her. They killed her.
Oh yeah, they absolutely killed her. Absolutely.
Yeah, dead. Then
on January 15, 2004
he shoots another associate
of his named Brian Broussard as well.
Then on November
of 2004, Telly shoots another
one who their name wasn't released at this
point because it was a member of his organization.
So, shoots another one there. name wasn't released at this point because it was a member of his organization. So shoots another one there.
Basically, anybody who is a little short on their count or some shit like that, he just kills them.
He doesn't fuck around, Deli Hankton.
He's very greedy and wants – see, I don't understand.
I'm out of that. I can't get into the ego that it takes to want to be the kingpin.
I don't get it either.
I don't understand that.
I'd much rather make a bunch of money quietly and then go away so nobody knew it ever happened.
And then giggle.
That's so much more attractive to me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the difference between like a podcast and being an actor.
You know what I'm saying?
You want to strut and do all that shit.
It's high risk, high reward for this acting.
But if you do succeed, then everyone knows who you are and you got to like that.
If you're in a podcast, it's great because even if you do well,
even if you have a show like ours that has a lot of listeners and shit,
unless you're within a couple blocks of your live show,
no one knows who the fuck you are.
They don't write.
No one sees you.
They don't care.
It's fucking wonderful.
And then if the people that do know who you are all like you pretty much too, because that's why would they listen to your show if they don't care it's fucking wonderful and then if the people that do know who
you are all like you pretty much too because that's why would they listen to your show if
they didn't like you it's not like oh i see that guy on tv all the time i hate him you have to seek
the podcast out so if they hear you or hear your voice and go are you they like you so it's like
great it's easy this is a mess you know thispin shit sucks, and I wouldn't want to do it.
Sounds bad.
I could never.
No.
And then 2005, that's the Darnell Stewart incident.
Yes, we mentioned that wraps back to Darnell Stewart.
2005, George Jackson asks an associate to kill Darnell Stewart,
and Telly Hankton, obviously, gives a gun to associates while at his mother's house.
Within minutes, they shoot Broussard and Stewart and another guy, three different guys.
So, yeah, he says, here's a gun, and then they go out and shoot him.
So that's the evidence they're going to have on him later.
Oh, it gets worse.
April of 2006, Darvin Bessie attempts a drive-by shooting on telly
hankton which seems like a bad idea somebody's trying to get it telly you come are you aware
of what he does come at the king you best not miss that's one of those situations here uh it
didn't go well it didn't work yeah he didn't kill anybody and a week later darvin bessie was shot dead on martin luther king
boulevard so there you go if anybody deserves it i mean he literally kicked a hornet's nest not
literally but figuratively kicked a fucking hornet's nest you're very the man kills shot
bullets into a hornet's nest and then wondered why it came out and stung him i would say worse he's
shot at a man who kills his family yeah don't you mean shit to him man are you out of your
fucking mind he killed his niece i think here allegedly so this isn't good um anyway yeah
obviously the telly was the shooter on this one as well because he shot at him now so now it's
don't fuck up you come after telly you better fucking bring well because he shot at him now so now it's don't fuck up you
come after telly you better fucking bring it because he is coming for you uh two months later
in 2006 newspapers this was all over the united states talked about a uh splashed this was the
headline central city massacre it said five teenagers were shot dead inside an suv at the corner of josephine and daniel street
daniel street uh telly hankton's name immediately was the uh one that came to mind because this was
this was in the middle of his turf and so yeah either he did it or probably approved it or knows
about it type of thing if it says turf because he owns this shit there um now the problem is
they blame somebody else though they blame a guy a different guy in the gang named michael
mike mike anderson okay mike mike they blame old mike mike on this the guy got shot in the
time parts mike mike got shot in his own parts Mike Mike ended up being blamed
for this okay
he basically
gets blamed for this and he takes the rap
for it because they think it's Telly
but he's like no no I did it because he's
a lower guy in the gang here
the prosecutors always
say it was Telly who killed them
21 bullets were fired at
these kids by the way, killing them.
Five teenagers.
Five teenagers in April 2007.
Apparently not even a planned thing.
They weren't having a rumble or anything like that.
But there was a shootout between the Red Rooster shootout at the Red Rooster snowball stand on Clara Street in Central City.
And this was Darnell Stewart, Jesse
Reed, and Kareem Powers. Those are the three that
got shot that we talked about.
They stopped for some food, and
Telly and his cousin Troy were there,
and they ambushed the three of them as they
drove off, firing multiple rounds
at their car as they tried to leave.
And Kareem Peters
was the only man shot, but then they have to have a fucking... Now they have to leave. And Kareem Peters was the only man shot,
but then they have to have a fucking,
now they have to shoot back at them.
So eight months later, George Cuthankton,
that's his nickname, Telly's cousin,
was washing his car at a Girt Town car wash
when he was shot by Stuart Reed and Peters as revenge.
In Girt Town. In Girt Town.
In Girt Town, yeah.
Gross.
So he is shot as revenge.
So now it's just going back and forth.
They shot at him.
Now they shoot and killed his cousin.
Now Telly, as you might imagine, doesn't take kindly to people shooting his cousin.
Oh, he's pretty upset.
He's going to be pissed off about that.
Telly seems like he's probably got a short fuse anyway likely a volatile fellow shoot his cousin and he's
probably gonna be more pissed off so uh that was the uh he tried to find these guys for a few
nights and then it would all come at the jazz daiquiri lounge that's when that happened there
um so five months afterwards that's when they killed. It was Telly and his cousin Andre Hankton killed Darnell Stewart at the daiquiri bar. An eyewitness called 911 and it said the car, it hit him and sent him very, very high into the air. This is the quote from 911. It sent him over the telephone pole.
9-1-1 it sent him over the telephone pole yep how the fuck do you send a human being over a telephone pole uh over the telephone pole yeah my friends my friend's sister was killed like that
well it gets yeah i guess if it's going fast enough because it gets more it sent him over
the telephone pole his shoes came off yep that's hitting somebody so hard his whole body goes limp and your shoe can come off
that's the murder equivalent of pulling a tablecloth out from under a table that's set
yeah you know what i mean like you have to pull it so hard that the shoes don't even know to go
with it that's the thing yeah it's fucking crazy um his shoes came off his pants almost came off
and he went end over end over end oh jesus he hit him so hard his pants almost came off. His pants almost came off. And he went end over end over end.
Oh, Jesus.
He hit him so hard his pants almost came off.
He fucking blew the pants off him.
He hit him and made him into a Chinese throwing star.
Yeah.
That's insane.
He went over a telephone pole.
Oh, my God.
They weren't done with him yet.
This is the point where they shot him.
Because remember we said they hit him.
They still had to pistol whip him.
This is the point where they shot him because whenever we said we hit him, they hit him.
They still had to pistol whip him.
Then Telly got out of the car and walked over and pistol whipped him.
Then shot him 11 times in front of numerous witnesses standing around watching.
What the fuck?
That's announcing, I own this motherfucker.
I'm the king of this town. I don't care who's watching because you all know not to say shit.
That's what that is.
That's really arrogant. I am not to say shit that's what that is that's
really arrogant I am not worried about any of you that is really really really fucking arrogant four of the shots were delivered right to his face by the way oh Jesus yeah they killed him
you saw that are you if you see a guy do that are you gonna talk to the cops I don't know that I'm
gonna I mind my business
i'm italian i don't say shit when i see something like if i see something like that i'm walking the
other way that motherfucker clearly did something to piss that guy off either way i'm not involved
in this if the cops want to figure it out afterwards great but this has nothing to do with
me i don't want to get hit by a car and shot 11 times i'm trashing in a trailer park this
this goes from from from trailer to trailer really fast but if i saw that mums the word that man is
not afraid of fuck i'm afraid of him that's why he did that to show everyone how unafraid of getting
caught he is which makes him way more terrifying that's right imminently
because if you tell the cops your statement is now part of the record yeah and they're gonna
go testify in court i'm not saying that shit in that guy's face fuck no i'm not saying he puts
bullets in people's faces i'm not putting words in his face a shitload of bullets he's arrested
for the murder and posts a one million dollar bail so he posts it um because he's got a shitload of
money so he takes about a year off from killing though since he's you know out on bail for murder
um but in june of 2009 he gets right back into it again here uh jesse tutu reed let's talk about him
tutu tutu was hanging out on the front porch of an abandoned house as one does as one has want
to do from time to time he's hanging out for the piece he carries not for his clothes right i don't
know it's it's t-u-t-u so oh my god that's what i mean and i don't know what the fuck the deal with
that is maybe well wait a minute we're gonna hear from we still haven't introduced urkel to the
whole thing there's an urkel in this story unbelievable these names are great this is why i wanted to do the the
mob serial killers too because some of these guys i've killed 45 guys i chopped them up into tubs
and their names are fucking hilarious they have nothing to do with their real names joey macadamia
yeah that's it no it's funny hey fat you know fat pete fat. You know, fat Pete. Fat Pete. John Consigliere.
You know, fat Pete, right?
His name isn't even Pete.
Why is he fat Pete?
At least at your job, you were mini Jimmy.
You weren't fucking fat Jimmy.
You'd be like, what the fuck is that about?
I'm not even fat.
It's fucked up.
They call me fat Tony.
Your name's Jimmy.
Why do they call you that?
I don't know.
You're not fat or Tony.
Yeah, that's what I mean. I fat jimmy uh sorry okay anyway holy shit so um he's doing all this two two reeds
chilling on the front porch of an abandoned house on turpus core core choir street i don't fucking
know whatever telly hankton and his buddy roll up his buddy's gonna play a big role in this whole story
walter porter better known as he's got two nicknames but the most prominent one is urkel
because he wears glasses so he's that's it urkel black guy with glasses urkel no this is a bad
motherfucker he's known as a straight hitman.
He's a straight fucking muscle guy
and he's known to
always kill with two guns at the same time.
One in each hand. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.
Like that. Urkel. Urkel.
Urkel. You can't trust nicknames.
That's the problem. Oh, Urkel?
Fuck him. Double fisted.
He also goes by Mooney.
Some people call him Mooney for some reason i
don't know why but urkel is his most prominent nickname they saw him eating a moon pie that's
all it was one day he was looking up at the moon and they're like look at this moon looking
motherfucker yo mooney come here for a minute he's like huh i was just zoning out like this
motherfucker always looking at the moon he's always looking at the moon mooney mooney sucks i looked at it for three seconds yeah what are you talking about i was just looking i
had i had a moon pie in my pocket for my kid why are you calling me that i don't know i just
haven't had one in a while so out at the grove i don't know man i didn't know when the last time
i'm gonna see one again so um by porter here urkel we'll just call him urkel he was trying to get in tight with telly
because he wanted to work with him this is picture the wire you got a guy that wants to be in the
program he wants to be in the fucking on the team he wants to be team barksdale here and he said he
was trying to impress him basically trying to show that he was worthy of getting hit work and uh he said yeah he could
do that because telly had all these enemies he's always killing people and for this particular hit
erkel's gonna get 10 grand wow not too shabby so uh and this kevin jackson guy is the guy who got
the uh he kind of he's like back up here so here is a quote from later on. Here we go. Telly was showing him a little spot to to be at as he was showing him. Telly jumped out. Porter jumped out. Telly hit him and Porter stood over him, hit him about 50 times. The cousin came up, hit him a few times. They fled the scene. That's that's Brian Beano Hayes.
they fled the scene that's that's brian bino hayes bino bino he's always very gassy yeah he's a gassy individual guy smells terrible guy smells i had a friend named beans in high school because he
farted all the time yo beans and those people just called him beans that's all it was i knew
a white kid last name bean we called him beaner oh well that's why did we do that that's a tough one yeah that's a tough one somebody
called him that at like a shasta pools he was working there then somebody called him beaner
and like a mexican guy that was a customer goes you can't call him that and he goes his name is
bean i think we can call him that and he's like no you can't you can't call him a beaner or the
beaner or beaner or any of those things i don don't think you can. You can't say that. Thank God his name wasn't N-I-G-G, for Christ's sake.
Good God.
Jesus, man.
It's just so bad.
You can't call him that.
Beano.
He embraced it.
He loved it.
Nobody called him by his first name.
Everybody called him Beaner.
This was a Puerto Rican kid kid so it could go either way you're calling beans but it was only because he could fart at
will weird those he could put point his ass up in the air and he farted like 74 times in a row
one time while we i mean we couldn't fucking we couldn't breathe because of laughing and the
so much shit particles in the air.
But wow, was it fucking funny.
It was so fucking funny.
I love that kid.
That means those people can inhale with their butthole.
You'd hear him doing it.
You'd hear him like, and then the more he'd suck in, the more it was disgusting.
What a gift.
It was disgusting.
This kid was generally disgusting anyway.
He'd just go.
He was a funny kid, but he'd just be like, I don't know.
We'd be sitting around.
He'd go, I'm going to go jerk off.
And he'd just go in the bathroom.
Huh?
He'd come back.
Ah, that's better.
This is always expelling things from his body. He's just farting and jerking off.
He'd grab a thing of lotion, too, and be like, I'm going to go jerk off now.
And he'd grab a thing, put it under his arm, and walk in there like he'd grab like a thing of lotion too and be like i'm gonna go jerk off now and he'd like grab a thing put it under his arm and walk in there like you like a like an old man
with a newspaper going to take a shit at that point i'd just be like what was it what did it
who who said what that made you so fucking horny he'd be bored that's it wasn't even horny it was
just like i'm gonna go jerk off you just be bored i don't know we're not doing anything here stupid we're not doing anything so either
way um anyway that bino would say that in court there brian bino hayes they put 50 bullets in
this reed guy he shot him 50 times with two hands obviously two it's two guns one in each hand i got two guns one for each of you he would have two 25 round magazines
or 30 did he reload he could have not extended who knows yeah i don't know fucking 50 i'm not
sure 50 though um then uh there was here we oh they left a witness though that's the problem
there um apparently there's another guy here hasan hockey williams he was with jesse reed
when jesse reed was killed and uh he was a witness to this whole thing and uh they didn't like that
obviously one night on the night of reed's death two new orleans detectives interviewed hockey
williams and he said yes telly was one of the guys who shot Reed. Not good to say that.
The detectives had him sign a photo of Hankton, and four days later, he was before a grand jury and acknowledging that, yes, they did this, and I saw him.
So, July 4th, 2009, Hockey Williams is leaving his home on Dwyer Road in New Orleans East when he he's shot and killed by Urkel.
Of course.
God, Jesus.
It's you tell on him.
You're getting shot.
That's all there is to it.
The forensics lab tested the slugs from his body and they were the same ballistics as the ones from Tutu Reed as well.
So and they had a shitload of them because there's 50.
There's 50.
So plenty to compare to.
So this guy Urkel doesn't even know to dump his fucking guns.
He keeps his guns like he's an old West gunfighter.
That's not what you do.
You gotta have a signature.
You gotta dump the...
Even in The Godfather, that was the 40s, for Christ's sake.
Drop the fucking gun to your side and walk out.
Don't keep it.
How dumb are you?
Just leave it with the body.
Who gives a shit if they find it?
Yeah, that's what fucking...
That's what Mikey Corleone did.
Fucking had the tape on it, dropped it.
Who cares?
It's not you.
So there you go.
Instead, this idiot does this.
He uses the same guns because he thinks it's cool.
And he's paid $10,000 for this as well.
So he's making money.
Buy new guns.
Write it off.
I don't know.
Use it as a.
I don't know what you do there.
Can you write off new guns? That's a low amount for a hit, too, because.
Yeah.
The Iceman was getting upper to upper double upper five figures.
He said 10 grand is nothing to kill.
Little.
That's so little.
If we always say if you can afford it, it's a cop.
If you're trying to get somebody killed.
If someone says 10 grand, that's a cop.
That's who that is. That's a cop or this guy or Urkel. killed. If someone says 10 grand, that's a cop. That's who that is.
That's a cop or this guy or Urkel.
We don't know.
One of the two.
Some broke New Orleans killer.
Yeah.
So a little background on this killing anyway.
This murder here, the five teenagers, that was blamed on Mike Mike, if we remember.
Mike Mike took the rap for it.
He said, I did that, even though they think it's telly.
Now, this one is blamed on mike mike the hassan killing is blamed on mike mike even though mike
mike didn't do it it's mistakenly blamed on him he is sentenced in 2009 mike mike did not do this
by the way you sir may fuck off death he's sentenced to the death sentence and then let's
forget it he later on a judge overturned the conviction and sentence on other grounds.
Not even grounds that he didn't do it.
There was some legal shit going on there.
They found other things.
Multiple reasons to overturn this.
Jesus Christ.
Now, Mike Mike is the leader of the Josephine Dog Pound Gang.
He'll plead no contest to five counts of manslaughter on the teenagers.
And he will take a federal and state combined plea deal that gets him 80
years in state court and life in federal prison.
It's over.
Yeah.
Not the death penalty though.
But he always says he didn't kill the five teens.
That's all what he always says.
So yeah,
which he didn't.
I don't think we think telly did
it but either way here he goes he's a bad dude he's a bad guy yeah um i don't know if it's life
in prison bad but it seems like he's killed a bunch of people probably allegedly let's just
say here so um they said the court is convinced that the notoriety the media attention and the
public reaction surrounding the quintuple homicide create a uniquely troublesome concern of unfair prejudice that's what the judge said they said that he was unpersuaded that the
quintuple murder is an essential chapter in the government's story of the crimes charged
and the quintuple murder appears to be on its own uh on its uh be its own story compromised of many
are comprised of many chapters so anyway, this is the whole thing.
Apparently, there was a meeting between Mike Mike and Telly that took place in jail in
2009 after Mike Mike was sentenced to death.
Okay.
Yeah, this is crazy shit.
All right.
At his trial, Mike Mike argued that he didn't commit the murder and said it was
telly hankton but telly knew he said it was going to say that they worked this out this was an
agreement okay because telly lived a block down the street now prosecutors dismiss the claim as
you're trying to blame it on a bad guy because he lives close mighty convenient um yet the thing is
they got together they hatched an agreement where where Hankton would pay for Anderson's appeal, the one that worked.
Right.
While Anderson agreed to use a contraband cell phone he has to order a hit from jail on Hankton's behalf.
I'll pay for your shit, but I need you to pass along a message from your phone to this guy to say to
kill this person so that's what happened there pretty good deal yeah which was hassan williams
so um who appeared to he was going to testify before the grand jury uh that hankton and porter
and all that shit okay that was for darnell stewart oh my god jesus christ and then john
matthews was the daiquiri guy.
He saw the whole thing.
And then his brother Curtis.
So this is a fucking mess.
We'll put it that way.
Oh, my God.
Stewart, his pants didn't come almost off.
That's what 911 said. In the report, though, he was hit by a Ford Mustang here.
The Mustang hit him, sent him flying 25 feet, according to the prosecutors.
Stewart lost his pants and
his underwear got stuck on a
utility pole staple.
Wow. He was completely
pantsless because as he flew through
the air, his pants came off and he hit
a fucking utility pole enough
to get his underwear caught on the staple
and rip off of him like a cartoon.
Where somebody had a lost dog poster
and a staple was left behind,
his underwear now stand there.
And then they came up and shot him 11 times.
Wow, naked.
Yeah.
Now, Matthews is the first Matthews survived being,
they attempted to kill him, the first witness,
and they killed his brother.
He was shot at least 17 times.
Jesus fucking hell, man. The one who survived was shot at least 17 times jesus fucking hell the one who
survived was shot at least 17 times the doctor said he stopped counting because they were just
trying to pull they didn't even know where more holes were they just stopped counting and tried
to sew him up there was no point in knowing this was at his home holy shit he fired back uh and
there uh apparently he also will testify against Hankton later on,
so they should have killed him.
If they're going to kill him, kill him.
But they didn't.
Now, Mike Mike and Hankton,
Jesus Christ,
yeah, Mike Mike,
Hankton felt,
Telly felt bad that Mike Mike
was facing the death sentence,
and that's how that whole thing happened.
He's got a heart?
No, no, no.
He just felt like, ah, shit, if I fuck that up for you i'll make it better one of those deals so telly hankton um
he could he was selling at this point selling 10 to 15 fucking kilos of coke a week that's so much
money why do you so much money um they they didn't even it wasn't that very complicated they just
got people mainly like women to travel back and forth between houston and new orleans to get the
drugs that was all they did just went and got it in houston and um yep they broke it down into
allotments put it out to the mid-level guys who broke it down to the street dealers just a general
avon barksdale situation yep um hankton though um now has john matthews still wanting to testify
against him john matthews by the way is a vietnam veteran and uh a pretty sturdy guy who's still
willing to testify in court even after being shot 17 at least times listen man i was fired from
by people i never even saw yeah afraid of you. And then on top of that, they killed his brother.
So now they're really fucking pissed.
Apparently, you could have like $10,000
and it could get you anybody killed back then.
That was just like-
That was the thing here.
10 years ago.
Yeah, yeah.
That John Matthews guy who got shot 17 times and survived
in his house, in his recliner watching TV.
That's when he said that he decided he should keep a weapon close to him, and he had a two-shot pistol.
So he said, quote, I almost made it to the foyer, and the door flew wide open, and I was hit with a shotgun blast and an automatic.
Seemed like automatic weapon fire.
Oh my God.
And he's a,
you know,
a war veteran too.
And,
uh,
he was in a coma for two weeks and then came around and is going to testify.
This guy's fucking tough.
Jesus Christ.
He got out of the hospital,
left Louisiana and hired Curtis to run the daiquiri business.
And then they killed Curtis as well.
Yeah.
So pretty fucking ridiculous. Uh, they killed Curtis as well. Yeah. So pretty fucking ridiculous.
Curtis was shot 14 times.
Yeah.
There.
So not good.
The whole Telly is a bad guy.
Let's just say that.
This is a truly, truly base running a fucking organized crime empire here.
That's what he's doing here.
So, yeah, a lot of people are
going to testify there's also troy hankton he's involved in this this is telly's uh cousin and
another guy he was a big big time star at lsu as well involved in this absolutely he uh he graduated
from the honor roll at his high school in 2002 he's a two-time league mvp in high school and an all-state cornerback
absolutely he's recruited by nick saban at the time to go to lsu and was a three-star prospect
he ended up in his freshman year he redshirted 2002 2003 he left the program and that's the year
they won the national championship wow and he left the program that and that's the year they won the national championship. Wow.
And he left the program that year.
So he was going to be hot shit there, though, and it didn't work out either.
So in 2004, yeah, he was involved in some of this shit as well.
Now, Walter Urkel here, Urkel Porter.
Walter is kind of a dorky name, too, though.
Yeah, you got glasses and your name's Walter.
We'll call you Urkel.
Urkel, sorry.
Yeah, he's known for two guns.
There's also Aaron Beatty Smith, B-E-A-D-I-E, or B-E-E-D-I-E, depending on where it is.
It's because he smokes Beatty's.
He smokes Beatty's.
Now, there's another guy here named Christopher Smith.
He goes by Tiger.
That's his name.
Tiger and Aaron Beatty Smith are not related.
Separate Smiths.
Okay.
Okay.
At least the Hanktons are all related.
So they're easy to keep track of.
Now, Smith here, all he is, Tiger Smith apparently works at the car wash.
He's a car wash employee, works at Nemo's Car Wash.
That's his whole role in this type of thing.
Apparently, Nemo, this guy had come to his house for some reason a couple months earlier and had stolen cash and jewelry from Nemo's house.
Oh, he robbed Nemo?
He robbed Nemo's house, okay?
Okay.
An employee, and then continues to work for him, all right?
Nemo then found out about it, told everyone he knew about it, this fucking guy stole from me.
He called the police, as a matter of fact, and said, one of my employees stole from me, yada, yada.
And apparently the investigation didn't go anywhere for like six months, so Nemo got fucking pissed off and said, cops won't do shit.
I can't get my shit back.
So he's like, huh, let me see what I can do.
So he calls his friend Aaron Smith up.
Beatty calls Beatty up and he's like, yo, fucking I got a guy I need to get killed.
I know you guys can take care of that shit.
Beatty said, fuck, yeah, we do, and I'd love to help out.
I'm currently on house arrest on an ankle monitor,
so it would be very difficult for me to kill a man at this point.
Unless you brought him over, it's going to be tough.
I'm on house arrest.
Keep calling me talking about murder, though.
Dude, I'm sure that's fine, but bring him to the house.
I'll shoot him in the front yard, then he can drive away.
I'm sure it'll be fine.
I can't go anywhere.
Bring the murder to me.
Just bring it.
Yeah.
Just fucking grub hub my murder for me, please.
Door dash me a murder.
So, yeah, this is how this goes on.
So he says, OK, do you know anyone who could do it who's not on house arrest?
And he says, of course, Urkel.
Who else?
Yeah.
Urkel.
So he's like, Urkel who else yeah urkel so he's like urkel um maybe urkel
so he calls up urkel and he says urkel goes fuck yeah i'll do it how much money are we talking
twenty thousand dollars nemo offers you're gonna car wash guy is gonna pay me twice the amount that
super rich well no kingpin will pay me ten for beady 10 for urkel 10 for beady
for hooking it up 10 for urkel for doing yeah so it's half and half they're gonna split it there
you know he's setting it up he's gonna tell him where to go and all that shit so you know he needs
help there he needs a kind of a setup man so yeah uh well november 21st 2010 they find tiger smith at his home in gretna and he's right in his front doorway
and he is shot more than 20 times with nine millimeters nine millimeters double he goes
double-fisted urkel and shoots smith they say at least 28 times he's hit dear lord so that's a
that's like you got sunny corleone at the toll booth. That's crazy.
That's a lot. How much did he steal?
That's what I mean.
He must have stole more than $20,000, I guess.
Fuck.
So Smith then got a hold of Nemesis and just told him, quote, this is what Smith would later say,
I told him, have the money, watch the news, and then he hung up.
He's like, have the money.
It's going to be wild.
Yeah.
Nemo said, for what?
And he goes, watch the news. And he fucking hung up he's like have the money it's gonna be wild yeah the guy nemo said for what and he goes
watch the news and he fucking uh and he hung up well bates said at the time he could only come up
with about two grand in cash it's all he had on him why would you say so he offered 20 but he could
only come up with two so he's like shit i got two um you think urkel would understand? Let's find out if Urkel's an understanding guy. Let's get some background on Urkel.
Uh-huh.
The guy who empties fucking banana
clips into you in the street.
He hits a man with 28 rounds.
I'm going to go with not very understanding.
Nah, it doesn't seem like
he'd be very understanding. You know what he understands?
Eliminate a man and I'll pay you 20 grand.
That's what he understands.
No problem here
they're gonna come back with some walmart rollback prices no fuck no yeah you gotta watch out for
man so a couple weeks later urkel gets pulled over driving nemo's car it is a 2008 mercedes
benz gets pulled over driving it it It's Nemo's car.
Now, the cops are looking into all this shit because he made a report about Tiger Smith.
So when someone's dead, they go, well, who was mad at him?
Well, this guy called the cops repeatedly complaining that he fucking stole all his shit from him.
And he knows a bunch of gangsters.
Maybe it's him.
So they pull over this car.
We're pretty sure i'm pretty sure
just by the report that they pulled over the car thinking it was nemo because it's his car they
probably ran the registration thought it was nemo they were probably keeping an eye on him turns out
hey it's this other guy we suspect of multiple murders wow cool we it's not the guy that we
thought murdered it's a hit man driving that man's car. Who we're pretty sure he would have hired to murder him.
So now we've just connected these two people that before this we had no connection between them.
Now we've put the guy who we think murdered the guy in his fucking car after the murder.
So very, very easy here, the way this is going.
He's pulled over for an unspecified traffic violation, beingmo i think is what he got pulled they were just
finding nemo yeah that's all they were doing finding nemo we've come across him so the uh
there's a field interview card and he says that it's it's my friend nemesis bates's fucking deal
they note on this field interview card this will come up later, they note Porter's name, race, gender, date of birth, height, weight.
Your typical, this is what this person looks like type of deal.
And they didn't arrest him.
They didn't arrest Urkel.
They didn't issue him any traffic citations or they didn't even search the vehicle.
Why would you?
You just gave us the most valuable information ever.
Go on your way, sir.
That's it for an investigation there so they
have a lot of evidence on him here is the here are the evidence they have that he is involved
in the uh christopher tiger smith murder porter anyway ballistics analysis determining that the
same firearm used to kill tiger was also used in the attempted murder of john matthews
the crime they suspect Porter for.
A confidential source told investigators
that Nemo had referred to two men
that this confidential informant saw at Bates' business
as the killers.
He was like, those guys are the killers that I'm using.
They're like mobile detailers.
Yeah, those guys there, Those are the mobile detailers.
No, they make your car look fucking amazing.
They get on the carpet.
It's good, man.
No, try hire those guys.
They will shine your tires.
Wow.
Those are the killers there.
This informant also told investigators that Nemo told this informant that Bates owed these two men money for killing him.
He goes, those are the killers.
I owe them money.
That's why they're here.
You know, they want their cash here.
money for killing him. He goes, those are the killers.
I owe them money. That's why they're here. They want their cash here. Said that
this confidential informant
from two separate six-person
photograph lineups,
they picked out Aaron Smith and Warren
Porter, Urkel, as the
two people he had seen at Bates'
business. So Beattie and Urkel,
the killers, quote-unquote,
and the ones he referred to.
Aaron Smith, Beattie, told investigators he was an associate of Porter, which ties them together and corroborates the witness testimony that they know each other.
Phone records for Beattie reveal that the day of Tiger Smith's murder, Aaron Smith received an incoming call from from Porter as well from Urkel that day.
from uh from porter as well from urkel that day the number of investigators knew to be used by porter also called bates seven times in november and december 2010 after the murder of christopher
smith after tiger's murder where's my money where's my money where's my money yeah why are
you knocking me a different confidential source who, quote, close associate of Porter's, told investigators that Urkel Porter told this informant that Bates nemesis had hired Urkel and Beattie to kill someone.
So both sides, it's coming from now from his side and from his side.
Days after the Tiger Smith murder, the Florida Highway Patrolman stopped Porter for a traffic violation in a red Toyota Camry.
Okay.
Later on was the Mercedes.
This is the red Toyota Camry, which is rented in whose name do you think that's rented in the Toyota Camry?
Is that Nemo's?
That's Nemo's Camry right there.
You bet your fucking ass.
So now within two months, he stopped in two of his fucking vehicles
and one of them that's like emergency temporary use you know what i mean exactly if if you need
a rental car you have you've gotten to a point yeah something bad something bad happened and you
you are relying on this to take care of your life. Accident, car broke. You need some shit here. And somebody else is driving it?
This is fucking crazy.
Now, so they end up arresting Urkel
after a little bit here, obviously.
All these ballistics and all this type of shit.
He wouldn't even enter a not guilty plea.
Wouldn't do anything.
Freaked out.
Yelled and screamed about the appointment
of his attorneys.
He didn't like his attorneys.
He complained about the underhanded tactics of the mayor who fucking put telly on blast and, you know, publicly taint.
How's he supposed to get a fair trial?
The mayor called us public enemy number one on fucking television.
Can't get a fair trial.
And the mayor's brother holds up as the head of the gang prosecutions for the U.S. attorney's office as well.
So he's like, it's all finger fucking.
It's all too close.
Right.
So they put Porter in a federal medical facility, which is on a former army base an hour away from Boston.
And, yeah, he wanders around in there.
And that's about that.
They're trying to find out if he's competent here.
That's the main thing.
He writes letters to many, many, many, many people, including federal judges, governors at the time, President Obama, all of these people demanding a federal investigation into what he describes as an unconstitutional pile-on
job by prosecutors yeah so i killed all these people are trying to say i killed all these
people that's that looks so bad in court right one at a time people one at a time but he's his
brother that's not fair oh come on guys that don't like me and want to stop me from murdering people
they're brothers.
They know each other.
So that means I didn't kill all these people, right?
Because they're brothers.
It's cold in Worcester.
I want to go home.
This sucks.
So they have a gag order on a federal gang rocketeering case that's separate of this.
Oh, my God.
The reports to Porter's mental health remain under seal at the time too
it's a fucking mess he's just hanging out acting kind of nuts so he can not have to go to trial
he's he's stalling everything he can he's doing like a charles eng now the other thing is his
remaining co-defendants here in the two other federal cases against him have either pled guilty
or pressed to move on to move to trial on their own not being tied they don't want to be
tied to porter here as well as an association with a man whom federal prosecutors have linked to at
least nine murders and six bank robberies oh shit that's good so the attorney for london luchi carter
that is porter's remaining lone co-defendant in the case accusing them of armed bank robbery
because they were robbing banks too asked a judge last week when this was going on to let him proceed alone at trial because
fucking porter's not going to do this shit he's he's going to act crazy so hankton's mother
shirley and 10 others are also arrested in this whole deal even telly's mom is involved in this
and schedule it's basically a big racketeering case.
It's like the same thing they do with mob guys.
Just bring them all in and line them up there.
Rico, this motherfucker.
Yep, the indictment in the case
names Porter and three murders.
Curtis Matthews,
the brother of John Matthews, obviously,
among them.
So they called Porter, quote,
the gunman for the enterprise.
He's the main hitman there. They also said he was efficient and a prolific assassin who unfortunately for him used the same
firearms repeatedly um he would hang them from fishing line behind the walls of his home
the guns the guns apparently so they were hidden away somewhere, which is a very interesting thing.
He also was very careful.
At one point, he was a friend of his.
Allegedly, they were going to do a hit.
A rapper named BG, Christopher BG Dorsey.
Yeah.
Yeah, him.
Okay.
They were going to do a hit together, allegedly.
Really?
Him and BG here.
BG is involved? Really? Yeah, he's involved in all this shit. We'll talk more about him in do a hit together, allegedly. Really? Him and BG here. BG is involved?
Really?
Yeah, he's involved in all this shit.
We'll talk more about him in a second.
Oh, boy.
BG apparently got too high, according to the transcript.
I say allegedly.
This came from a jailhouse phone call that was recorded that Porter was making,
talking about how one time him and BG were going to do a hit,
and BG got too high
so they didn't do it i'm too high for that shit man let's just go to jack in the box is great
that is amazing that is fucking amazing man
jesus christ i'm so there's a there's a bank robber in boston that uh the town is is written out that guy got too
high on uh meth and that's why he no heroin hey that guy was shooting heroin and going to rob
banks that's how they got caught because he was too fucking high yeah couldn't fucking do his
jesus christ man why would you do that that's insane what is wrong with you yeah breaking the
law and being hammered on anything while doing
it is crazy supporters a decent hit man he's like you're too high we're calling this off and doing
another time bg stoned that's fucking amazing he's also porter accused of a pair of brazen
armed robberies that netted 134 000 cash from capital from Capital One branches in New Orleans and Metairie,
whatever the fuck that is.
I can't ever say that word.
The one robbery there, August 26, 2011,
Porter and three other men first met at his house on South Liberty Street
where Porter handed out guns to the other two men.
That's Carter and Brian Beano Hayes, who's the guy who testifies later.
Porter then held an assault rifle
as the group pointed their weapons
at tellers and customers,
according to the police statement
from Bino later on.
Bino and a second driver
in a getaway car were outside.
They drove off with a pile of money,
but the dye packs exploded.
So Urkel veered into a curb and caused a flat tire right
so then they had to call and get picked up covered in fucking ink and money
oh my god so pick them up they took the ink stain money to to a laundromat and tried to
wash it in washing machines it doesn't work to, you guys. To get the ink off of it.
You can't get that out.
Oh, my God.
So then they took the pink cash at this point.
It's pink, yeah.
They took it to Harrah's
and fucking put it in slot machines
and put it into the change machines
that give you change for the slots.
So they just laundered it that way.
Put it in machines.
Machines don't give a shit if it's pink.
They're not going to notice. They can't see it. Nope, nope done as long as it's got that strip in it done so wow
that's what they did they're accusing him of a half dozen bank robbery circle as well this
motherfucker is ballsy man he is really fucking ballsy he truly does not give a shit he is he's
willing to chance everything yeah absolutely um so and then the third federal case against him is the Christopher Tiger Smith murder.
Nemo's car wash was on Tulane Avenue, by the way, for anybody in New Orleans.
That might mean something to them.
I don't know.
Now, they say that Urkel took two of Bates's cars as collateral until he got paid his ten thousand dollars.
The rental and the mercedes the rental
no no the rental was just for a minute there until they figured something out then he gave
him the mercedes and a corvette to hang on to wow as collateral um which is fucking insane that this
is this just gets weirder and why don't you just sell one of those and give him the cash that's
what i'm saying well he's doing it like a hawk.
Like he's putting it in a hawk.
Like you hold it until I have the cash type of thing.
Now, Porter in court, he refused.
He freaked out in court.
He said that he doesn't want his lawyers speaking to him.
He refused to acknowledge that his lawyers represented him.
In one hearing, bailiffs had to wrestle him out of the courtroom.
In other ones, he would yell and scream at the judges, yell over the judges, claiming
he's a victim of an unconstitutional prosecution.
He said, quote, my life is in danger.
And Maurice Landrau, I think that's the prosecutor.
One of the brothers is one of the Landraus is the mayor there.
And Maurice Landrau telling me to my face that he will see
to it that I will get the death penalty
if I don't work for them, you know?
And he told me the only one who could help me
is Obama. To my face, ma'am.
To my
face. He said, only the
president can help you now
because it's a U.S. federal court.
So the president shouldn't have anything
to do with that. So no, probably not. Unless he wants to, you know, give him a pardon.S. federal court. So the president shouldn't have anything to do with that. So, no, probably not.
Unless he wants to, you know, give him a pardon.
But I don't know if you'd pardon this guy.
He continued on and he said he was claiming Landrau here.
He said, quote, and we will see to it with the power of the Landrau administration that I, Walter Porter, will get the death sentence and I will die.
He said that himself.
His self.
His self.
And I've been traumatized ever since then, and I request to get taken from this bench,
and it's unconstitutional what he is going to do to me.
He said, I request to get taken from this designated area.
That's what trauma, you shot people doesn't this is traumatizing
hundreds of times yeah a man telling you he's gonna he's been mean to him jimmy he told me
it's gonna try to kill me you've killed so many people um with the one guy's underwear got caught
on a pole for christ's sake this is fucking crazy so they just kind of put him in the fucking in the mental institution
for a while to see how it all would shake out basically um yeah he uh he asked to meet with
the u.s attorney uh and to appear before the grand jury to air his grievances porter does
but he also rebuffed a prosecutor who commented at one of his court hearings that he had has the
right to represent himself he said no, no, ma'am.
That's what he told the judge.
No, ma'am.
That's foolish of me to do so and for him to even bring it up.
One prosecutor said, well, if he doesn't like his lawyers, if he keeps saying he doesn't
want his lawyers, he can represent himself then.
And he said, no, that's stupid.
I wouldn't do that, dummy.
See, but that might be a play to see if he would recognize how dumb that is yeah if he
can say that would be foolish you are the most sane you're very fucking sane you super get it
you get yeah because you're saner than ted bundy and plenty of other people who try to represent
themselves here so um yeah it seems like they were uh he said quote your honor i'm 100 sure what to
do with mr porter this is the U.S. attorney.
She said, It's my impression that Mr. Porter is never going to be content unless he does it to himself.
So now this all comes down and Nemo's name starts coming up because of the phone records and all this sort of shit. So he's kind of laying low and just kind of hiding out and car wash to home, peeking out the blinds, looking for a two-gunned assassin to come up here.
Looking for his Mercedes or his Corvette to come around the corner.
Is that the – oh, shit, no.
I thought it sounded like my Corvette, but it's not.
Fuck.
Damn it.
Okay, that's good.
That means he's not here to kill me.
That's good.
That's good.
You know, he's not eating like he should be.
You know what I mean?
Because he's nervous and he's, you know, who can it be now?
He's looking out the window.
He's got a problem.
Digested a good meal in six weeks.
Man hasn't been able to digest a decent meal in six weeks.
So he's sitting around.
He doesn't know what to do.
And luckily for him, there's a knock on the door.
And it's exactly what he needs, Jimmy.
It is exactly what he needs.
It's Vinny Pazienza's ma.
He needs a ma right now.
Sure does.
And she says...
How is it you've come to arrive here?
Oh, my God.
What's wrong with you, Nemo?
It's such a cute name.
Stop hanging out. You're
hanging out with bad boys, Nemo. They're bad people. I could look out my window. I see the
bad kids. They're the bad kids. What are you doing? Have you eaten? You're skinny. You're so skinny.
Oh my God, I brought a nice... Oh, here we go. I got men. I'm going for you. Eat the whole tray.
Nemo, eat it. Eat it, Nemo. No, don't give any to your friends. They're just going to take it and
be all fueled up to murder more people. Stop it. Stop hanging out any to your friends they're just gonna take it and be all fueled up
to murder more people stop it stop hanging out with these people you're a good boy what's wrong
with you huh gee i didn't raise you like this nemo please you're killing your mother oh my god
poof in a cloud of marinara sauce and manicotti her head explodes from energy consumption and she goes this is an
italian mother's worst nightmare you're hanging out with bad boys doing bad things oh no
it's fucking great so nemo's charges here because he's going to be charged and arrested once they
talk to him and his excuses are terrible and of of why does this guy have your car? Why do you lend your car, not only your car, but a rental car to a known murderer?
Why is that?
He is facing charges of solicitation to commit murder, use of interstate commerce facilities and the commission of a murder for hire and two different firearms counts as well.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
U.S. assistant district or assistant U.S.S. Assistant District Attorney, Assistant U.S. Attorney,
she says, Christopher Smith
never saw his killer. He never saw
Nemesis Bates because Nemesis Bates
had someone else do his dirty
work for him. No doubt
Porter and Aaron are bad people in this
instance, but Bates killed his friend
Christopher Smith. This was nothing more
than a business transaction.
They called him a
vengeful shot caller whose downfall was failing to come up with the cash now if you would have
just had the cash immediately yeah there wouldn't have been seven phone calls wouldn't be getting
pulled over in cars unless porter said something would have been no way to connect him to that
shit right porter ain't saying shit about nothing so you'd have been good instead
this idiot not paying the guy the fuck off ends up bringing a huge line of trail of evidence to him
and now he's fucked um he his attorney says well how do i get out of this one he says nemo actually
you don't know this but in reality Nemo is a victim of extortion.
Tell me how.
Well, let me tell you.
Aaron Beattie and Urkel, they killed this guy and then squeezed, told Bates, you got to pay us to do that now.
Okay.
Bates didn't ask for it.
They just did it on spec. It's like those guys that paint the numbers on the curb outside your house and then ask you for $15.
That's essentially what they did.
It's a spec murder.
They pop up and paint it and then be like, what do you think?
Now it'll be $20.
It's a spec murder.
That's all it is.
Maybe he'll want this.
So during his trial, there's nine women and three men in his jury for Nemo here.
Nemo's jury, judging Nemo is a different.
Should the name of this be judging Nemo, jailing Nemo, or incarcerating Nemo?
I don't know why.
Found Nemo?
Yeah, found Nemo.
Now, Aaron Smith, Beattie here, he is going to be a big witness here because he's totally flipped on this whole thing, I believe, if I'm not mistaken here.
He pled guilty in 2013 to a charge of causing death through the use of a firearm, which sounds like murder to me.
That sounds exactly like murder.
In exchange, prosecutors took the death penalty off the table, and he's going to testify before he's sentenced.
And he even says in court, hoping for leniency.
Praying for leniency.
Exactly.
He said that on the stand.
So Bates is being tried by himself here about this whole deal.
They said also that they there was another murder here.
There Bates was on trial.
His former co-defendant testified here, this is Beattie, about another murder that they said happened several months later from a guy named Anthony Wilmore who died in June 2011.
He was Bates' former girlfriend's ex-boyfriend.
Oh.
And they think that something happened with that.
Bates was scrambling for money to pay some shit off, and he only had $2,000 with him.
And somehow this guy got caught up in it and got killed in this whole deal.
I don't understand how the fuck that happened.
People are just getting shot way too much here.
New Orleans was fucking wild.
It was 10, 15 years.
And crazy.
This post Katrina shit's nuts.
Yeah.
So Porter, they said that the I'm sorry, the Nemo here got a car for Urkel and Beattie to drive here.
Bates also got the rental car for porter to drive at first for
urkel to drive they got aaron smith beady smith up on the stand and had had the phone records all
laid out the phone calls to nemo and said what are all these phone calls so he went through each phone
call so that's what this was that's what that was he said quote this is uh this is beady quote i could tell that he was excited he was
happy i knew that he actually uh killed the dude he said uh he said call that boy bates and tell
him to have my money that's porter porter had called him and said it was all so he's the guy
saying that that's the connection it's all beat he's the guy in the middle so bates's defense
attorney says that um this is there was nobody telling these guys
to do it you don't have to tell Urkel and Beattie
to kill people they just kill people
this is bullshit this is what they do
then they're going to try to rob this is probably how
they make their money they kill people and sell someone
will kill you if you don't pay us for killing that guy
that you didn't like take that they said
look at his criminal history he's terrible
he's a fucking opportunist he's
disgusting he's an awful awful man they said that uh but Beattie said They said, look at his criminal history. He's terrible. He's a fucking opportunist. He's disgusting.
He's an awful, awful man.
They said that.
But Beatty said, no, the killing was just about the money.
We didn't kill people for free.
He said that.
Well, I don't.
Anyway, he said he said that Bates ordered the hit.
And, you know, that's what happened.
He said, I get half the money, even though I had an ankle monitor on and couldn't do it.
So I thought that was a pretty good deal.
And they said, well, would you do it for that kind of money?
And he said, quote, this is Beattie in the neighborhood I grew up in.
People kill for free.
It's like twenty thousand dollars.
That's handsome.
It's a good offer.
Usually, usually a hit is like ten, five even.
I'll do it for way less.
Yeah.
So he said, yeah, this is great.
I get ten.
Don't even have to do shit.
My God.
Then Bates' attorneys then switches to the tactic of who, quote, no one is going to hire a hitman without having any money.
Okay.
Who would be that terrible at this?
He then says about Nemo, his bank account is zero.
He has fancy cars, but the cars are hot.
He has no money to pay for these
hitmen thus the fear wait did he just admit that my client yeah yeah yeah he's it works at a yeah
he does the car wash people he buys and sells hot cars that's a totally different issue though don't
worry about that he doesn't have any money to kill anybody that's crazy hot cars who gives a shit
wow um so jesus christ they also um they were the defense talks to beady while he's on the
stand and cross-examination talking to him about a certain case where he fired into a crowd outside
the gator bait lounge in gretna before fleeing from police and jumping 30 feet from a bridge
wow he's desperate and they said didn't bother you one bit that you
were shooting at random strangers in a crowd
and he said, quote, I was on drugs.
He said he was on drugs at the time of the
alleged hit job as well, but he said there's no
doubt that Bates called the hit on Tiger Smith and
never backed away, even after Tiger Smith
confronted Bates at the car wash saying he
was aware Bates had placed a bounty on his
head. So Tiger said, I heard you're trying to kill me.
What the fuck?
And he said, no, no, man, I ain't trying to kill you.
And then had him killed.
That's some cold-blooded shit.
Yeah.
Beatty also said he never told me or Walter Porter not to kill Christopher Smith.
That's the reason he didn't call the police.
That's the reason he didn't call the police.
The police are nothing like that after we killed him if he uh would have called it off we wouldn't have did it
because if he would have called it off that means he wasn't going to pay us it was about the money
yeah this is what this is tell us not to do it we did it because we were we thought there was money
being paid to us it's a funny line though he never told me or walter porter not to kill christopher
smith do you have to tell your friends who not to kill in the world hey don't kill most everybody could
you thanks so nemo seems fucked right he seems pretty bad i mean there's these people this is
a crazy fucking thing like if you're a family member and your guy walked out of his house and
got shot 28 times that's terrible you feel bad for him don't you kind of feel bad but not nearly as bad
as i feel for i'm just there's no nemesis baits other than this one come on of course not fucking
break you think there's any more of these no absolutely not now nemesis's ex-girlfriend
nemo's ex-girlfriend testifies oh uh-oh yeah dory coming back to bite him in the ass here she remembered she did you
got to get her real quick though she said that bates did admit to me that he did hire someone
to kill tiger and that she once sat in a car when bates talked about aaron smith and porter
he said quote those are the killers he talked to them he said the light skin one porter he's crazy he tells everybody
that he tells killers everybody that not only that those are the killers that work for me isn't that
neat nemo testifies on his own behalf though he said no no no absolutely not during it though he's
his testimony's fucking terrible he says he's fighting for his life right now and all that sort of thing.
He claimed on the stand that every witness who testified against him, FBI agents, his former girlfriend, her friends, other people, everybody, all of them, a person in jail who he told everything.
They're all liars.
Everybody there is a fucking liar.
He claims he's not a violent person at all.
No. As a matter of fact, it had no idea that B.D. Smith and Urkel Porter had orchestrated a hit on Tiger Smith until they came calling for cash two days after the killings.
He said, oh, my God, that's crazy.
They just popped in.
He said they did it on their own.
Then they harangued him for weeks over payment.
It's extortion.
harangued him for weeks over payment.
It's extortion.
Yeah, they squeezed him for the proceeds from his car wash,
and they left him in fear of his life if he told anyone about it.
He said, quote, Smith and Mr. Porter came to the car wash.
We stepped into the room, and Porter told me that I didn't even know his name.
He told me he had done me a favor and that I owe him some money.
I told him, for what?
He said, the death of Tiger. I told him some money. I, I told him for what he said,
the death of tiger.
I told him that's the guy who stole from me.
I really have no money.
My exact words.
He stole from me.
You guys,
I don't have anything.
He took it.
Oh my God.
Then he says,
uh,
the phone calls he had with Aaron Smith. The,
they asked him about all of that.
He said, I don't know anything about it.
I don't know anything.
I don't know what you mean.
He said, well, then why did you rent a car for all that?
And he said, it wasn't a form of collateral.
It was just doing a guy a favor.
I'm just a nice guy.
That's how nice I am.
They did me a favor.
I figured I should do them a favor, even Steven.
Yeah, exactly, right?
I mean, unsolicited favors, back and forth.
He said that, you know, Aaron Smith had heard about me talking about Tiger because I was mad about Tiger, so Beatty had heard about me.
But then once I heard he was killed from Aaron, he said that he was, quote, crushed.
He was crushed about it.
Now I'm going to have to drive the car.
Oh, he was crushed about it now i'm gonna have to drive the car oh he was crushed he said that um
you know he said that tiger smith also yes did confront him about a rumor that he ordered a hit
on him he said of course i didn't offer order a hit on him absolutely not that's just ridiculous
then he says one of the dumbest things ever so it has to be in their own words here because to say
this on the stand is really dumb. In their own words, quote,
I was crying and I couldn't hide it.
I'm a very emotional person, period.
I wouldn't hire a hitman.
First of all, I'm the one that called the police about the theft.
You don't call the police on someone you want dead.
You'd be the first suspect.
It's common sense.
Yeah, you'd think that, wouldn't you?
That's the thing.
That's why we're here, man. You'd think you'd go, oh, wow, I can't kill that guy because you that's the thing we're here man you'd think you'd go oh wow
i can't kill that guy because i already called the cops on him shit i guess i'm out that money
and jewelry that's what you'd think no now i'm out of rental car and two cars and possibly my
freedom yeah he said he said he was so sad once he heard they did this for him he said quote i
wanted to go home and kill myself i was that afraid nemo was he said i went from it went from zero to 60 that quick i didn't know how i got
myself in that situation i was just crying i didn't know what to do i was so scared for my life
oh man he was questioned about the killing by detectives and was arrested by the fbi
he never by the way up until testimony he never brought up this extortion scheme.
He just said, I don't know what you're talking about.
Now it was a big extortion.
Yeah.
So then he said that he explained that, you know, he just distrusted the police.
That's why he didn't tell him about the extortion scheme.
He didn't think they would listen to him.
He said, quote, I believed in Porter more than y'all, the police officers.
Yeah.
The guy with the two guns. He said, I was I believed in Porter more than y'all, the police officers. Yeah, the guy with the two guns.
He said, I was afraid for my life.
I would have given them anything they wanted because none of that stuff is even important to me.
They said he turned over a Benz and a Corvette and all this shit.
They also said then they asked him, well, what about your collection of jewelry?
What about that?
You were so scared of Walter Porter and B.D.
Smith that you wanted to go home and kill yourself?
And he says, I didn't have a chance to pay them anything.
I knew I was dead.
And he said, you wouldn't hock your jewelry to pay them?
And he said, I have to show them I have no income.
It was keeping me alive at the time.
I did not tell him about my jewelry because I felt I did not deserve this.
He felt he was being wrong, so he's going to lie to two killers who obviously are trying to extort him.
That's his story.
Smart move.
This is, yeah, common sense, Jimmy, common sense.
So the verdict is he is found guilty of solicitation to commit a crime of violence, solicitation to use interstate commerce facilities in the commission of a murder for hire, causing death through use of a firearm and conspiracy to possess firearms.
Now, during the sentencing.
His assist, his attorney tried to portray him as a he called him a scared child at one point, then called said he called him, quote, a very helpless little child, very harmless, but helpless or a vengeful business owner who has failed at everything and wanted his shit back.
Who's also 35 years old.
He's not a child.
This is fucking bonkers here.
So they call him that the U.S. attorney says, quote quote he's not a childlike bumbling idiot he's a
manipulating conniving liar there you go that sums it up i think he's not a childlike victim he's a
cunt he's a fucking twat so then he said here's our nemesis's last please don't put me away he
says quote i've been having no father, no lover, no friend.
Father, lover.
You go from father to lover.
Those are the two things you're looking for.
No father, no lover, no friend.
I didn't have anybody in my corner.
Nobody at all.
All I want to do is help myself.
I'm not a child.
I ran a successful business with dirty people under me.
I've never had a problem.
That's all it is.
And the judge says, well well you have a problem now
you sir may spend life in a designated area enjoy with fences and razor wire determining
the designation that's you you'll know the designations here it's been more than tape on
the floor guys in towers will with shotguns will make sure that
you're aware if you forget i'll remind you your designation is going to be about six by nine so
not a very big designation for a while so uh 2015 porter is still that shit's still going on he's
still in a facility over this whole deal during the Porter trial here, prosecutors go through the whole Aaron Smith thing.
They say that the prosecutors there say
the police didn't do anything.
Christopher Smith was never arrested for it, Tiger.
So Mr. Bates took matters into his own hands
and decided to get even in his own way
by using Urkel.
And they talk about his Porter's case,
Urkel's case is like four murders, five bank robberies.
Oh, it's so bad.
It's a whole thing here.
The U.S. attorney said, quote, the defendant sitting before you today is a good businessman.
He has partners.
He provides a service in which there's a market and he earns thousands of dollars doing it.
The service he provides is killing.
Walter Porter is willing to kill people for money, and he did.
And the defense said, he won't even talk to us.
He is, quote, completely refusing to meet with his lawyers.
He won't do anything.
He calls B.D. Smith untrustworthy.
That's what their lawyers try to say. He's an untrustworthy l's he calls the B.D. Smith untrustworthy. That's what their lawyers say.
He's an untrustworthy linchpin of the government's case.
He's the one who communicated between everybody.
Why are we blaming our guy when he's the one doing this?
Yeah, this is ridiculous.
He said they said, quote, he's no stranger to them.
The question is whether he's the one who entered into an agreement with Nemesis Bates and whether or not he pulled the trigger.
So then he said they have witnesses that just cannot be trusted.
While there's a lot of smoke here, there isn't a fire.
No fire.
Let me tell you that.
No fire.
So, yeah, they go through all of them.
Curtis Matthews, Tiger Smith, bank robberies, you name it, it's in here.
They said he has firsthand knowledge.
They bring up Tutu.
Jesse Tutu Reed, obviously, is involved.
There's several witnesses testifying against him.
One woman says, quote, he made a comment of how he felt.
I'm sorry.
A person talks about how the people in the neighborhood knew who killed who killed Reed because quote
there were so many shell casings or markings
on the ground they had a lot of cones
out there so when the police came with the
index cards folded over them
they could see
they're like that's the whole neighborhood knows then when
that happened she said the next
day Porter was bragging about the killing
as he held a handgun and kissed
it
he quote he was
saying this bitch hadn't let him down yet and he made a gesture to kiss the weapon oh boy that's
it there you go um so it's a lot man they described him as trying to get in with telly hankton his
goal was to do jobs with him and get in with the good crime boss here.
He was an aspiring criminal.
That's literally what he was.
They said he had hoped to build a relationship with Telly so he could have a consistent daily supply of drugs.
He had hoped to move out of the city, live his own life.
That's what his lawyer said.
He just wanted to make some money to get out of here.
He didn't want to kill anybody.
There's too many mosquitoes.
He just wanted to go home.
Jesus Christ. are you kidding
me come on man so uh he wants to have the fact that he was pulled over and talked to uh thrown
out of court as well because they said he got pulled over for no reason why should he be there
so he is found guilty yeah yeah porter you sir may fuck off life without for Mr. Urkel here.
We won't even bother with death penalty.
And that shit overturned.
You just get out of here forever.
They said, yes, sir, you did do that.
And then they put him away.
That's how it goes.
I declare you did, in fact, do that, Mr. Urkel.
Goodbye.
So 2016 is the Telly hankton trial okay 13 defendants charged in this
indictment jesus they are urkel um they are andre hankton known as reese nikia hankton
shirley hankton telly hankton um aka third wild or Red. Thomas Hankton, a.k.a. Squirt.
Troy Hankton, who was the cousin who was on LSU's team.
George Jackson, a.k.a. Black.
Kevin Jackson, a.k.a. Kev.
That's not very creative.
Nathanie Schexnader.
Is that the guy on the team?
Nathanie?
Nathanie.
Nathanie Schexnader.
Schexnader's the same last name of the guy who got hit with the fucking helmet.
Who started that.
Yeah.
We're going back.
That's too much of a name.
I'm on 40th.
40th.
Okay.
I got to go back and see this now.
That's a guy from his fucking football team.
The Homa team.
How do you spell it?
Schexnader.
I'm going to see if it's the same guy.
I have to see this.
This is fucking insane.
Okay.
Here we go. Here is the insane. Okay, here we go.
Here is the fight.
With an X?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where is it?
No, that's not there.
Where is goddamn Schexnader?
Come on.
Oh, here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Sorry, everybody.
This is too important.
Clint Schexnader, a different Schexnader.
Wow.
Who the fuck would have thought that shit?
That is wild.
It's got to be his family, right?
I don't know.
Maybe that's a popular, maybe that's big down there.
I don't know.
There's another one in the arena football named Calvin Schexnader.
Maybe there's just a lot of Schexnaders in New Orleans.
Maybe there is.
I'm not sure.
Derek Smothers, a.k.a. Dump.
Gross.
And Terrell Smothers. The Smothers brothers are there. That.a. Dump. Gross. And Terrell Smothers.
The Smothers brothers are there.
That's nice.
Terrell and Derek.
This is Dump Smothers and his brother Terrell.
It's a different kind of variety show.
They actually got legitimate Smothers brothers.
The Smothers brothers are on trial for terrible things here.
Jesus Christ.
Incredible.
And Sana Johnson.
The U.S. attorney attorney here said this is the
same u.s attorney every time by the way you're going to be swamped with the depravity committed
by this organization the indictment is a lengthy diary of what these people did to control their
drug distribution activities their neighborhood and even the criminal justice system so that they
could operate without any fear but the government's evidence is going to destroy the clean slate.
These four men sit here with today.
Yeah.
Even while he's in,
everybody's in jail,
there's still all sorts of killings here.
August,
2014,
everyone's in jail.
Oh my Kareem K ice.
Peters was found dead and shot up in an Acura in a New Orleans East complex.
Peters was the man who'd been shot and wounded by Telly Hankton in 2007 after they ran into each other at the Snowball Place.
He's the guy who was with Reed to begin with.
Came around and got him again anyway.
Yeah.
Later that same year, that Peters guy murdered George Cup Hankton, who's Telly's first cousin.
And then, yeah, this whole thing.
Now, December for 2014, Maurice Sparkman was shot dead on a central city balcony after he'd made the mistake of robbing two Hanktons who were running an underground dice game.
Jesus Christ.
Julius Hankton would plead guilty to manslaughter and get 40 years in prison.
Hankton's, wow, this is a lot.
This fucking guy is a mess, man.
Now, they also have in this, he appeared in a music video for Christopher BG Dorsey.
Of course.
Who's his buddy.
They're trying to put them together as well, who is now, was in prison at this time.
Of course, yes. put them together as well um who is now and was in prison at this time of course yes quote an
imprisoned former cash money records rapper who started out with lil wayne and juvenile and turk
in the rap group the hot boys he was part of cash money yeah yep and telly was in a video of his
that's i mean telly was such a new world was in a fucking cash money video yes yes oh no no porter
urkel was in one with him because they grew up together.
Wow.
Yeah.
There you go.
Which one?
I want to look at that video.
It appears in a video titled Guilty by Association.
There you go.
I guess he raises up like to his fingers like don't one of those.
Dorsey has an arm draped around Porter's neck and raps.
N-words get hit 50 times because my n word mooney around because that's his oh my god he actually shouts porter out in a fucking
song and says he shoots people 50 times yeah as they know in a song wow so that's great gangsters
i'm terrified they play this guys now yeah we're not going to book new orleans next
year by the way i'm staying the fuck away from birdman and his posse away from all of this yeah
i don't want any part of this shit so there's also a dirty cop involved in this desmond pratt a former
new orleans police department homicide detective that's rare you get a dirty homicide guy usually
they're they weed them out by then homicide's like the last step of we trust you enough to figure out who killed this person
right um he's the subject of a federal civil rights probe a quote accused of spoon feeding
informants with details about crimes in order to identify targeted subjects in return for favors
to the informants yeah um yeah he is accused of laying out the story to two people
and offering them one of them cash and an sks rifle in a trade for false statements about reed's
murder um pratt is coming he's in prison for three years he took the fifth and didn't want to testify
about anything here that's how that worked so the the FBI had been investigating this forever, obviously, as we know about.
They said that's Tully Hankton. Federal prosecutors allege in a list of one hundred and one overt acts under the main racketeering charge.
Oh, boy. They also say Porter fired on a son, Williams, with two of the same 40 caliber pistols that were used to kill Reed. Police ballistic reports also show that a 9mm pistol used in Reed's killing was fired in
three other homicides and two shootings,
including the attack on John Matthews
and his recliner
as well. So, also,
federal authorities cited
a confidential informant who claims that in
2011, after Hankton ends up
being convicted for murder,
Urkel and another man followed
around the district attorney, Canizaro.
Why would you do that?
Yeah, they followed him to his Lakeview home into a French Quarter business
while targeting the DA and his daughter as well,
who is an assistant DA, quote, to be killed.
Get them both.
They're going to hit the DA.
I think that would make it worse, probably.
That's insane.
Yeah, these guys are just
trying to fucking take over the uh it's it's fucking ridiculous man so they got a they got a
cell phone data on him and uh the confidential informant indicated that porter and uh beady
had conducted surveillance and followed the district attorney to his lakewood residence
into an establishment within the last 10 days they They got a warrant for the whole deal.
There, that's how that ended up going down.
So it's fucking obviously crazy.
You're going to put a hit out on the DA?
You fucking nuts.
So it's a three-week federal trial.
And Telly Hankton is found guilty of three counts of murder and eight of racketeering for the deaths of
Darvin Bessie, Darnell Stewart and Jesse Reed.
And he receives you, sir, may certainly fuck off life without the possibility of parole.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Telly is in forever.
He's done.
2017 Nemo appeals based on the fact that he says he didn't do it.
That's his appeals.
And they're like, Nemo, bro.
You got to admit and fucking apologize at this point, dude.
You're convicted.
We're going to set you off from here and see if you can swim yourself to cell block D all by yourself.
What do you say?
Get on down there.
Can't get enough of Nemo?
I've had enough. Too bad. He's in too bad he's in prison everybody's in prison and
uh you know there's about that so you can you can watch an old lsu game and maybe get a highlight
of him returning a punt that's about all you're gonna get jewelry ruined his life that's it just
some money and jewelry that's it wow crazy shit so that's fucking insane threw nothing away for
nothing because he figured it's so easy to get somebody killed you could just do it that easy so but why you don't even have the money to do it yeah but
when you're surrounded by straight gangsters that literally are ruthless killers you you i guess you
just you want to be part of that i don't know well he knew all these guys hung out with these guys
knew these guys we don't know what the fuck he was doing besides all this too who knows man this is crazy he had cars and all his jewelry think he was
getting that from fucking the car wash yeah that's something they said the car wash wasn't profitable
so right there's a guy who coaches uh cortez hankton is he related he's gotta be right down
there there's so many hanktons down there dude he was family it's a to be, right? Maybe down there. There's so many Hanktons down there. Dude, he was.
In this family.
It's a huge family.
He was.
He's the wide receivers coach for LSU.
He went to.
Yeah, James.
He went to that high school.
St. Augustine.
He's from.
Yeah, there you go.
That's how they all know each other.
He's got to be related.
Everybody's from the same area.
So it's fucking crazy.
Either way, you like that story.
Tell the world about it get on whatever
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Head over to shutupandgivememurder.com for all of your tickets and merchandising needs.
Wow.
Wow, the tickets.
October the 27th, we have a virtual live show coming straight to your fucking living room, everybody.
What a deal.
What a deal.
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are two different shows too so if you want to see both feel free we'll we'll give them to you
not like we'll go get the fuck out you already saw one go you leave now um orlando the next night the
24th two shows in orlando get your tickets come on can't wait to see you we're coming out to
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And I'll tell you what, $5, anybody $5 a month or more, you can do whatever you want, whatever you feel worthy of, but $5 to get all the bonus shit, that's a cup of coffee.
You're going to get tons of bonus stuff. You're going to get two new episodes every other week, and you're going to get to see the whole back catalog,
hundreds of episodes or hundred-something bonus episodes, tons of stuff.
This week what you're going to get, and it's a crime and sports bonus,
small-town murder bonus.
You get it all.
The whole thing.
The whole thing.
This week for crime and sports, you're going to get Sex Scandals Part 3.
Yeah.
If you haven't heard one and two, whoa whoa listen to this shit it is crazy stuff it
lingered into part three because it's that funny so put it that way it's so funny we couldn't get
through it in time i want to meet her uh yeah definitely just have a chat see what's up i don't
want to meet her i want no phone is fine yeah what i want to talk to this girl emails are good
she's so fun for small town murder we're going to talk about mafia members.
So we're going to go mafia and mix that with the fact that some of these guys are actually serial killers who just happen to be in the mafia and found a pretty good cover for being a serial killer.
The best serial killer cover you can get is being in the mafia.
Found a way to get paid.
They put up a wall of marinara and you can't see through it. And it's mafia found a way to get paid it's they put up a wall of marinara and you can't see through it and it's just found a way to get paid for yeah ted bundy didn't get
paid for that shit no i assume a lot of it too is because it's not sexually based that helps too
they just need to kill people and carve them up yeah we really go after people who
fuck you know decapitated heads that's weird yeah you know so either way mafia serial killers are going
to talk about some real bad guys in there some high body counts and some gross shit it'll be
very funny patreon.com slash crime and sports and you'll get your damn shout out which is coming up
in a moment also get that shout out on paypal using our email address crime and sports at gmail.com
that said jimmy please please please never ever or please hit me with the names of
the people who would never ever ever kill me because they think i stole some jewelry for them
from them even though they didn't mind or people that would send us to a designated area hit me
with them now this week's executive executive executive executive producers are uh corporal
carl kershner see you in Wisconsin, Corporal Carl.
Beautiful.
What a time this comes at you.
He's excited.
Yeah, he's excited about it.
J.B. and Yeti Shetty in Canada, Regina Kuda-Jaroff, Lisa Dutton, Brooke Crawford, Hunter Duchesne,
and B.J. Cyprian.
She's new.
She's an author, by the way, down in Texas.
Thank you all so much for everything.
Other producers this week are Peyton Meadows, Stacey Sengel, Captain Lou Albino, Barry Mark
and the Shitsteins, Amanda Granieri, Willis Tanya, giving it to us both ways, Beaver and
Drunk Nicole, and also Baby Kit.
Happy hour checking in in Panama City Beach, Florida.
That's a terrible, that should be Panama Beach City.
Shouldn't be Panama City Beach.
That sounds gross.
It does sound like
a city beach yeah panama city pool that's that's yes that's disgusting yeah panama city sewer it
doesn't sound good morgan dugan janice hill chester copperpot you know who that is that is
danny devito's character from uh batman correct yes right copperpot yeah nope that's oswald copper pot who's chester copper pot is
that uh something from the goonies oh yes it is it is that no yes yes one-eyed willie and
chester copper that sounds right that sounds like jesus christopher hickey nashville steve
earl said hello hey beautiful i apologize chris i didn't know that you were saying woo
in reference to james's woo yeah i thought you were just being a drunk
lunatic yeah it wasn't even drunk that was the funny part yeah totally sober
met him afterwards nice guy thanks chris jimmy secret sauce wismman, Jorge Medrano, Alex Hopper. He liked the
J.R. Smith episode. Thanks, Alex. Well, great.
Or she. Jesus, who knows?
Thank you. Kinsley
Kohlklescher. Nope, probably not. Sharon
with no last name. Roman Jacobo.
Darcy with no last name. Jimmy Lane.
Cole with no last name. Katerina
Fry. Hannah Govedick.
Govednick?
Donna with no last name.
Timothy Parker. Doug Cazor, Jocelyn Gordon, Matt Ringering,
Mena Lloyd, Marty Fortier, Amy Ann, Hannah Bell, Kayla Counts, Brantley Clark, AJ Austrins,
Chris, you can do, oh, you can't fuck this up.
Yes, I can.
Stop.
Danny Dyson, Georgia Caitlin, Keith with no last name, Danny Octavian, Octavia, Helen
Dubois, Mercury Muse, Tina Cook, Troy Natter, Holly Soden, Val Willett, Arianna Keller,
Terry Taina, Lori Johnson, Corinne Hill, Keith Alden Baker, Mike Hodson, Brittany Hohoff, Parker Keenan, Yvette Juhasz,
Hannah Garcia, Christina Hamlin, Kim Smith, April Schiavone, Eric Suchin, Jesse Shira, Joe Crossley,
Edward LeBlond, Andy Pagan, Julie Kodem, Tina York, Robert Fuentes. Was that Fuentes?
I may have written that wrong. You were flowing so hard.
I know.
B and also a U.
Thomas Giles, maybe Jackson with no last name.
Desiree and Andrew McKinney.
Matthew Hanson, Abby Feek, Matthew Murphy, Kyle Garner, Brian McCauley.
I wonder if that's related to that space lady.
Maybe.
Jameson with no last name.
Nicole with no last name.
Sorry to bring up maybe the worst memory in your fucking life, Brian.
That's my mom.
Jesus Christ.
Sorry, bro.
And I called her space lady.
Yeah, I can still see pieces of her sprinkling down to the ocean.
That's horrible.
What a piece of shit. God, I hope not. pieces of her sprinkling down to the ocean. That's horrible. What a piece of shit.
God, I hope not.
Now I feel even worse.
It's Amanda Dalton, Tiffany Aberflus, Alicia Warr, Louise Martinek, Haley Smith, Elizabeth
Carpenter, Artley Goodhart, Kyle Carter, Crystal Blaze, Blair Clark, Dominique Lieb, Daisy
with no last name,
Bobson Dugout, James, I can't pronounce it.
Laura, that's how I'm going to pronounce every last name I can't pronounce.
I can't pronounce it.
Laura Klein, Courtney Eve, Sebastian Ann, Betty, Kristen Taylor,
Jeremy Wagner, Corey Engel, Slip Stitch, Corey with no last name,
Jessica Rice, Jake Blank, Crystal with no last name, Maggie with no last name, Kelly Bosley, Creekside Custom Pavers Smith, Allie Linton, Jessica Stember, Bethany, Bethann, Carvin, David Evers, Zach with no last name, Colin Maxey, Elliot Reinston, Krista Mallory, Kelly Frederick, McKenzie with no last name, Jack Blackwell.
Jack Blackwell, ah, you were almost there to fame, you son of a, I'm sorry, Jack.
We already got one.
Danielle Strotter, Connie Bonner, Layla with no last name, Azari Stevens, Samuel Carr,
Kate Bauer, Luis Serna, Project DQ, Adam Rowley, Dominic Forbes, Kyle M., Brandy Aubrey, Mackenzie McGuire, Taryn Malloy, Lim, Ketraba Hofer, Matthew Hickory Hansen, Nikita Weil, Jocelyn Whiting, yes, Frank Just Frank, Danielle Green, Afton Scott, Teriro M., Christine Lester, Liz Phillips, KingTigerKiller415,
Bray Breedlove, Brian Wolfe, Barb and Bob, Mother Tucker, Chris Zimmer, Stephen Hoff,
Sammy Fitter, Mark Frylock, Todd Beck, Julie McCullough-Francis,
Kelly Y, Fred Shingles, Silent113, Marlene Ganey, Megan Turner, Bailey Butchert,
Sarah Garrison, Megan Higgins, Christina Park, Janet N, Brandi Weddle, Maddie Campbell, Jennifer Fix, J.R. Walters, Mimi Tucker, Kate and Chant, Clay Verdon, and also all of our patrons.
You guys are fantastic.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, everybody.
You crazy, wonderful bastards.
We love you so much.
Thank you for what you do for us.
Hope you're enjoying the content.
And like we said on the thing, this will be the last sex scandal episode in the series for Crime and Sports.
We'll get another one going.
It'll be more crazy shit after that.
But this is so nuts.
It deserved three episodes.
Sorry about that.
So either way, thank you for hanging with us.
Thank you for everything.
If you want to follow us on social media, very easy.
Just go to shutupandgivememurder.com.
The links are there.
Or just Google Crime and Sports podcast host. We we should be the only ones i would fucking hope so either way find us hang
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