Crime in Sports - #323 - Mature... Or Whatever - The Destructiveness of Aldon Smith

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

This week, we look at an NFL player, who burst onto the scene with force, becoming one of the best defensive prospects in a generation. And that's exactly what happened... For a little while,... anyway. Then he started getting arrested. And kept getting arrested. Booze, violence, drugs, terrible driving, jumping from windows while holding a tequila bottle, and with possible blood, dripping from his mouth. He's become a bit of a menace, not only to himself, but anyone who accepts his wedding proposal, or comes to his house for a party. This story is loaded with crime! Be the next Lawrence Taylor, drink two bottles of tequila & bite your fiancee, then keep making fools of NFL General Managers with Aldon Smith!!Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!!  Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman  Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com  Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com  Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!!  Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsports crimeinsports@gmail.com facebook.com/Crimeinsports instagram.com/smalltownmurderSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:34 A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial at audible.ca. Each week on the Mr. Ballin Podcast, now available wherever you get your podcasts, you'll hear strange, dark, and mysterious stories about inexplicable encounters, shocking disappearances, true crime cases, and everything in between. So go listen to Mr. Ballin Podcast, strange, dark, and mysterious stories on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports! Yay! Oh, yay indeed, Jimmy, yay indeed.
Starting point is 00:01:30 My name is James Petrigallo, I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman. Thank you folks so much for joining us on another crazy, and this one is really crazy, spectacular, super downhill slip and slide episode of Crime and Sports. We have a wild one one it's a brain damage sport and i gotta be honest there isn't too much sports in this but there is just so much crime i mean it's wow i mean this guy might as well just join the police force because he hangs out at the police station so much he might as well might as well get some benefits and some health insurance
Starting point is 00:02:02 out of it because this is ridiculous. Get yourself a pension. It's a lot. Yeah, go ahead and get yourself a pension here. So we'll get to that quickly. But before that, very fast, you do want to go to shutupandgivememurder.com right now. You got to get your merch there, number one. There is lots of new stuff up, I know. So tons of new stuff, all sorts of good things to check out.
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Starting point is 00:04:18 of course you'll get a shout out at the end of the show yes you just want to get a shout out head over to paypal use our email address crime and sports at gmail.com is how you do that that said let's get to it jimmy we got a lot of crazy all right here we go the asshole of the week here it is alden jacarus smith is that his middle name jacarus j-a-c-a-r-u-s jacarus kind of like it it not bad. It's kind of smooth there. But he's Alden Smith. If you don't know who he is, he's an NFL football player. And he's one of these guys, when we first started the show, people suggested him to us right off the bat. And we were like, it's not, the fruit is not ripe yet on that vine.
Starting point is 00:04:58 It's a little fresh, yeah. It's too fresh, and I feel like he's got a lot of growing and a lot of criminal growth to overcome here and it's true. We were right. I'm glad. It's like a stock here with these guys. You never know. Sometimes they're just going to sit on the shelf and rot and they're not going to do anything and sometimes they're going to flourish for you.
Starting point is 00:05:16 I mean, considering Jeff Hardy last week and this guy this week. These are late bloomers. You know what I mean? They're coming around. When he started he was a green banana. Coming hard around the home stretch guy this week these are late bloomers you know what i mean they're coming around coming started he was a green banana i coming hard around the home stretch here it's pretty good so he's born september 25th 1989 that's the crazy thing holy shit he's a baby still very young man that's a completely young man he's born in greenwood mississippi but his family at a young age moved to Kansas City.
Starting point is 00:05:47 So Missouri, not Kansas. So yeah, he grows up in Kansas City. He went to Raytown High School in Kansas City. And Raytown played for the Raytown Blue Jays high school football team. And he was a badass. He's a huge guy, by the way. He is. I mean, he is a monstrous defensive lineman. So he's an athletic lineman. He's a freak. I mean, he is a monstrous defensive lineman. So he's an athletically.
Starting point is 00:06:05 Is he a lineman? He's a freak. Or he's like an end slash linebacker. He's a pass rusher. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's one of those guys now. There's just an end, you can call him, or whatever. He's like Lawrence Taylor or.
Starting point is 00:06:19 Yeah, well, he was kind of pure outside. Von Miller. Yeah, LT was pure outside linebacker. He never went into a three-point stance or anything like that. Never? Not much. Not much, yeah. They'd let him wander around and kind of, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:32 He'd find his crevices and cracks. Can you imagine? Havoc. Oh, being a fucking quarterback and watching that guy just stalk behind the line? Yelling shit at you with coke eyes. Oh, my God. And you know your offensive line can't do a thing about it either yeah we'll do the lt episode obviously pretty soon to be honest with you but he uh they'd have meetings the whole week the offensive line have me they'd
Starting point is 00:06:55 have their regular practice regular meetings and they'd have lawrence taylor meetings for like two hours a night about what the fuck do we do about lawrence taylor which is that's disruptive right there i mean that earring inside his helmet was like a bell on a cat. I'm sure you could hear that thing coming. Didn't matter. Didn't help. Just rattling around. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:07:12 Still got you. It would be more frightening than anything else. It wasn't to alert you to him. It was to scare you. It was like Omar whistling. It's like a death knell. That's horrifying. He was like the Omar of linebacking.
Starting point is 00:07:24 That's what he was. Oh, shit. Omar coming. Everybody runs. Is that Farmer in the Dell? Oh, shit. Is that a lightning bolt in the helmet? Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:07:33 Run. So Raytown High is where he goes here. As a senior, just in his senior season, he had 60 tackles, 21 tackles for a loss. Jesus. Which is just busting through the line and taking people down. 12 sacks. This is like they play like 10 games in high school. Right.
Starting point is 00:07:58 You know, and I'm sure as soon as he busted through, the quarterback would throw it as far as he could the fuck away as he ran for his life. How do you do that with just 10 games? Are they also recording like tackles in the hallway? Yeah, I think so think so yeah he got a kid in science class one time for talking to a girl he liked wrong answer that's it that's that that was his 11th sack and then he got his 12th on the field so it's pretty good he had seven forced fumbles a blocked punt a safety on defense and then on offense he caught 34 passes for 570 yards and four touchdowns as a tight end as well. He's playing tight end too?
Starting point is 00:08:27 Yeah, because he's a huge guy. We've talked a bunch of those defensive ends that play tight end also. You can't tackle a guy that's that big. Yeah, what are you going to do? Legs churning. He was only considered a three-star recruit by Rivals.com, which is very strange considering the pure like physical explosiveness. He has is seems odd here. He was considered the number five overall prospect of at any position in the
Starting point is 00:08:53 state of Missouri and the, uh, number 27 strong side defensive end in the nation. Those other four better have been first round draft picks. Cause the guy is a monster. I mean, I'm sure there was one or two, but I bet you anything a couple of them sell insurance now. They have like a used car lot somewhere. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:11 So he has his choice of colleges, Nebraska, Kansas, Kansas State. Everybody in the whole region is recruiting him. Sure. And he chooses over everybody, Missouri is where he goes. Really? Mizzou is where he's going to go. Really? Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Decides that is the place for him. He got kind of, the end of his senior season, he got kind of uncomfortable apparently with notoriety. Yeah? Apparently it wasn't like coming together for him and he kind of got everything came together at once. I don't know if he's like a giraffe that just yeah when someone's huge like that sometimes they just have to grow into their giant paws you know what i mean and they might yeah not physically have all the things they can do and then all of a sudden 17 18 years old it all comes together and they have coordination over it and everything it's hard and success is when preparation and opportunity meet but like
Starting point is 00:10:05 if you are if you're not prepared and you just have all this opportunity god this can be so overwhelming it's a lot he said quote my personal goal is to get better every weekend hopefully make a fan who comes to the game to see me and be glad they came to see the game i want to turn somebody's head i'm here to turn heads that's what he said in high school um his father thurston his dad's name is thurston by the way how old the third wow that is a really like hmm yeah that's the guy from fucking from yeah from uh what is it the gilligan's island yeah thurston howell the third and his wife he was the rich guy yeah he's the he's the rich guy who talks like this hmm g's him so her name muffie or bunny or something um what the hell is it i forget what he called mrs howell he called her um muffie some shit maybe he was muffie maybe muffie because
Starting point is 00:10:55 that's like muffie we're at the yacht club so third it's funny his name is alden smith his dad's name is thurston yeah and when we get to later on, other people named Alden Smith, he seems like a very, he sounds very white. He really does. And if you're not from around here and don't know the NFL, he is certainly not a white guy at all. He's a giant black guy. Anything but. He's a giant black guy. So Thurston said, quote, he had a lot of growing up to do.
Starting point is 00:11:22 Last year, his attitude was more about individuality. It was more about him. At the end of last year in the summer, we worked on him that it's all about the team. So he says he's good now. That's how it is. The coach of Raytown said he's the prototype of what they're looking for, meaning colleges. He says from play to play, he's doing some things that demonstrate he's in a different class than his opponents.
Starting point is 00:11:48 So, you know, they think he's really good. But he thought about, before he got scholarship offers and stuff, he was thinking about quitting the team before his junior year. What kind of? What are you talking about? This is what you've got. Yeah, apparently they were in Iowa for a little while, and he went to live where his mother was. Then he went to live with his dad in Raytown, and that's why.
Starting point is 00:12:13 I guess he just didn't feel like he was fitting in. He missed being somewhere else, basically. He's the product of a divorced family? I believe so, yeah. So he said he would always ask his dad, what's the use of a divorced family i believe so yeah um so he said he would always ask his dad what's the use what am i doing um you know i just don't want to be here and all that kind of shit so uh his coach said there's a lot of attention on him whether it's wanted or not how he acts is going to be perceived as reality this attention has humbled him so he said he
Starting point is 00:12:41 listened started listening to his father and listen to his coach's advice because he was so uncomfortable that he was just basically leaning on people he trusted and following their advice. And it works out for him. He starts doing really well. And we told you how good he was in his senior season. And he says, some people say, now that I'm on the radar, I can probably slow down. I can calm down and relax. But I don't feel that way. I feel like there's no reason to stop.
Starting point is 00:13:03 I feel like if I do everything I'm supposed to do right i can't be stopped okay can't be stopped he's coming for that ass so he's right he is right fuck man later on i really wish he would have taken that and put applied it more to football it seems like that's like if he was trying to get arrested as his like be the greatest to ever be arrested the most like he said this beforehand i feel like if he was trying to get arrested as his like be the greatest to ever be arrested the most. Like he said this beforehand. I feel like if I do everything I'm supposed to do right, I can't be stopped. Like if I really just break the law every day, go out there with a disruptive attitude on a daily basis. You can't stop me.
Starting point is 00:13:41 You can only hope to cuff me. You can only hope to contain me in a five by eight cell. You can only hope to cuff me. You can only hope to contain me in a five by eight cell. You can only hope to contain me there. So he goes to Missouri and in 2008 is his red shirt season. They just sit him in 2008, which is very, very common. Just save a year of eligibility. Let a person physically mature. And that way when they're a sophomore, they're technically a freshman.
Starting point is 00:14:03 That's what you get. So 2009 season for Missouri, they're technically a freshman. That's what you get. So 2009 season for Missouri. They go eight and five. They actually go to a bowl game. Really? Oh, yeah. They go to the Texas Bowl and they lose to Navy 35 to 13. Ouch.
Starting point is 00:14:18 That sounds like shit. Blaine Gabbert's their quarterback, by the way. Is that right? That is. Yes. He is a Blaine Gabbert's teammate here. by the way. Is that right? That is, yes. He is a Blaine Gabbert teammate here. That's not good. Both years.
Starting point is 00:14:30 That's what I mean. What did they see in Blaine Gabbert to make him such a high pick? They were like, oh, he lost the Texas Bowl to Navy. We got to have him. It wasn't that great then. Shocking. That guy's got a fucking career. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:14:42 Isn't he a backup now? Just like one of those guys? He's got fucking career. Oh, man, isn't he a backup now, just like one of those guys? He's got to be, because he was, fuck, man, there was a season that he was almost in the Super Bowl, for Christ's sake. That's what you want, though. Matt Barkley is still employed. Did you know that? Did you know Matt Barkley still has a goddamn NFL job? That guy makes a comfortable couple million dollars a year to sit with his thumb up his ass.
Starting point is 00:15:03 He's not even the second string. He doesn't even have to do the clipboardboard he just has to hang out with a hat on and fuck around on the bench i think he's the bill's third string quarterback and he's been there oh he's never gonna work nope doesn't give a shit he loves it he's great you know he doesn't care that's the job you want yeah that not even not even in the nfl he that guy never has to work no he's great he's gonna do great he'll go back and get like a job on the usc whatever network or something later on he'll make himself another half million a year to fuck around and hang out with alumni and drink and you know plow ex-cheerleaders and shit that's what he'll do so he might even get a get himself a
Starting point is 00:15:41 fucking ring in buffalo who knows that team looks who knows? That team looks great. Why not? This guy, everything else he's fallen ass backwards into in life. You know, he came onto a USC team that was well-equipped and already on a roll. And he's like, look at me. I stepped right in there. I'm a hero. I'm a hero. And then he comes out and look at him.
Starting point is 00:16:00 So either way, Alden Smith in Missouri, uh his freshman year plays all 13 games 44 solo tackles here he had 19 tackles for a loss and 11 and a half sacks in 13 games that is badass he's a monster yeah yeah that's bad and a forced fumble as well he's the big 12 defensive freshman of the year and first team freshman all-american asAmerican as well. Wow. He is the All-American. What is that? The defensive newcomer of the year in the Big 12, the 2009 Hendricks Award watch list, which is a defensive lineman of the year in all of college.
Starting point is 00:16:35 He's like, you know, put the freshman on there. He is the 2009 honorable mention Big 12 on the coaches team, 2009 team defensive lineman of the year award and 2009 team freshman of the year award no wonder he had so much hype as a rookie oh yeah he was a he's he should have had hype he's so good i mean even when he first burst in the nfl we'll talk about he is a monster he's on pace to be jesus yeah i mean he's going to be one of the top guys they're talking about this guy's going to break the sack record someday because he was ripping it up. He's got all the talent in the world.
Starting point is 00:17:08 Not just a star on the team, but in the fucking league. He was so good. Oh, he's a badass. He just can't stay out of jail. He can't stop getting arrested. It's insane, man. We've had very few. He's like Vernon Maxwell or something where you're just like, stop.
Starting point is 00:17:22 Stop doing things. Just stop. How do you do so much cry it's so avoidable to most of it where you're just like what a terrible decision that was why did you do that what is wrong with you like you know it's going to be on tmz tomorrow why are you doing it if i do something stupid no one cares you know what i'm saying it's not on tmz i'm not gonna have fucking skip ballast talking shit about me on the arguing with a black guy about me and being wrong you know i'm not gonna have that no one's gonna care on his argue with a black guy
Starting point is 00:17:55 show yeah it's that's the only show that should be called that's what i said before a hundred times it's just it should be called i'm gonna argue with a black guy and take the wrong point of view that's it point count point wrong counterpoint an elderly cowboys fan discusses sports wrong with a black guy that's it that's it i'd love to just i would like we're gonna do a bonus episode one of these days on johnny manziel okay and because there's a lot to do there but not enough for a whole episode really so yeah we'll talk about a johnny manziel okay and because there's a lot to do there but not enough for a whole episode really so yeah we'll talk about a johnny manziel episode and we're going to put together i'm going to put together a list of skip ballas quotes about johnny manziel and how what he thinks he's going to be one of the greatest of all time because he for like six months that's all he talked about was
Starting point is 00:18:40 how johnny manziel was the next brett farre. He's the next Aaron Rodgers. I can't wait to do that. Five foot eight. Yeah, he's going to come in. He's not Brett Favre, okay? No. Brett Favre could throw a ball 90 yards. Johnny Manziel cannot.
Starting point is 00:18:55 There's a big difference there. I saw Johnny Manziel at the Suns game, and he's surrounded by a bunch of people like screaming at him. She goes, who's that? And it was the perfect time, just a lull in all the conversation i said that's the richest loser in the world and he looked over his shoulder it's true he doesn't care he hurt me good he's heard worse trust me he probably has yeah you think jesus
Starting point is 00:19:21 great he played he probably was focused on the part. Yeah. You heard a lot worse in Cleveland probably. He probably was focused on the richest part, and he was like, I am. I am pretty rich. That's right. So 2010, Missouri goes 10-3 that year. Wow. Look at that. They go all the way to the Insight Bowl.
Starting point is 00:19:38 Oh, that's how we got. Is that the one in Phoenix? Didn't they play that at the ballpark? That was the bowl game they played at the ballpark, the baseball field, if I'm not mistaken, right? Yes. Insight feels familiar. That sounds right, but I might be wrong. They played, this is 27-24.
Starting point is 00:19:57 They lose to Iowa in the Insight Bowl. So 0-2 in the bowls for him. He plays in 10 games that year. So 0 for 2 in the Bulls for him. He plays in 10 games that year. Doesn't seem to, I don't know what's going on, if he was hurt or if he got benched or what the fucking deal is, but he only had eight solo tackles. I know he had a shin problem he kept re-aggravating for a while.
Starting point is 00:20:18 He had three sacks. He didn't do very much this year. But he comes out for the draft anyway, so he must have been injured. And 2011, ready for the draft. Jimmy, number one pick of the 2011 NFL draft. 2011? Yes. I think you're going to get it. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:20:36 I don't remember who the first team was back. Was it Blaine Gabbert? It's not Blaine Gabbert, I promise you that. He is in the top 10, though, this year. For Jacksonville, huh? Yep. He's number 10 overall, Blaine Gabbert i promise you that he is in the top 10 though this year he was for jacksonville yep he's number 10 overall blaine gabbert was it johnny manziel no it is cam newton number one overall oh it's not a bad pick number one no he won the heisman trophy for christ's sake the year before um number two overall you better know jimmy was it von miller it's von miller number two overall uh mar Darius, A.J. Green of the Bengals, Patrick Peterson of the Cardinals.
Starting point is 00:21:09 Wow, that's a great pick. Yeah, Julio Jones, number six of the Falcons. These are, wow, what a draft. Number seven is Alden Smith to the 49ers. Yep, number eight is Jake Locker to the Titans. Yikes. So out of the top ten, eight of them became pro bowlers and the only two that didn't were quarterbacks jake locker and blaine gabbert so about that and then jj watt
Starting point is 00:21:31 is number 11 so jacksonville could have had jj watt and they picked blaine gabbert instead so that tells you something right there that tells you how how much they were hurting for a quarterback that is fucking brutal yeah he was the first defensive player a defensive lineman taken oh they could have had wow the line the niners could have had jj watt too but they picked alvin smith that's interesting so the top 16 picks are all pro bowlers except for three quarterbacks christian ponder blaine gabbert jake locker wow what a terrible quarterback here terrible holy crap that's yeah because pouncey robert quinn mike pouncey ryan kerrigan defensive tackle nick fairley's on that list yeah wow cameron jordan later on uh mark ingram jr there so what other quarterbacks were picked that year
Starting point is 00:22:18 nobody huh nobody uh andy dalton went in the second round yeah that's not so bad and he went there but otherwise yeah it was an off quarterback here big time so just cam newton went in the second round. Yeah, that's not so bad. He went there. But otherwise, yeah, it was an off quarterback year, big time. Yeah, just Cam Newton. That's the only one that's worth a fuck. That's it. No, he's definitely the best of the bunch here by far, by a long stretch of the imagination. 2011, he's on the San Francisco 49ers. Wow.
Starting point is 00:22:38 This is starting quarterback Alex Smith in this particular season. Started all 16 games that year. Alex Smith did. So that was his team that year. The Niners go 13-3 that year under Jim Harbaugh. Very good. They beat New Orleans 36-32 in the divisional round of the playoffs. And then they go to the conference championship and lose to the Giants 20-17
Starting point is 00:23:05 because the Giants needed to do their once every few years we're going to try and we'll just beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl and that's that. And then go back to 5-11 the next year. That's how it works with the Giants. So Alden plays in all 16 games. Doesn't start any, though. He's a rookie. Doesn't start.
Starting point is 00:23:25 He has looks like this start any, though. He's a rookie. Doesn't start. He has, looks like, this is impressive, though. In 16 games, he has 14 sacks. Without starting a game, that's not too fucking shabby. He is the second in the AP poll for the defensive rookie of the year as well. Second. Von Miller. Yeah. Von Miller, just he was all around.
Starting point is 00:23:44 Von Miller was starting. He was a miller just he was all around and von miller was starting and he was starting too so you had to you know he was allowed to play which helps but i mean fuck man alden smith had two forced fumbles a fumble recovery 14 sacks 31 solo tackles 27 quarterback hits a safety he was everywhere he was a fucking without menace. Without Von Miller in the league, with a non-existent Von Miller, Aldon Smith is super well-known. You know what I mean? Poor bastard has to play in that guy's shadow. Well, if he wasn't suspended for four,
Starting point is 00:24:15 the next year he's not in anybody's shadow when you get his stats. Von Miller didn't have his fucking numbers. I mean, he was a bad motherfucker the next year. No, it had nothing to do with that. It's just when you're suspended for four straight years you can't really get any traction doing anything like we'll talk about it but he can't really get it going this he surpassed charles haley for the 49ers record for most sacks by a rookie in a single season that year he finished with 37 tackles four pass deflections two forced fumbles, and like we said, 13 sacks.
Starting point is 00:24:45 He was a half a sack shy of tying the all-time rookie sack record held by Javon Kearse as well. Holy shit. So, I mean, yeah, he was really, but he didn't start even a single game. Just narrowly lost the defensive rookie of the year to Von Miller, though, there. Because Von Miller, he was nasty. He was everywhere, Von Miller. He was all over the field. So we're gonna say it right now great opening season terrific doing wonderfully that's grace right there damn it that's grace for old alden smith everybody
Starting point is 00:25:16 shit it's about all there is to it on alden as far as uh that goes 2012 starts out a mere two weeks after the season ends. Actually, I think it's the week after they lose to the Giants in the championship game here in 2012. Or 2011, I'm sorry. So 2012, it's January of 2012. January 28, 2012, he is arrested for driving under the influence in Miami Beach. He's not even from there. No, he's hanging out.
Starting point is 00:25:49 The season just ended, so he probably went down there to party. That's what these guys do. You live in California. You got all the beaches. That's where people are going to hang out this week, though. These rich fuckwits, this is what they do. Where is everybody going? Well, I have to go
Starting point is 00:26:05 there too and then they all go and hang out he's pulled over on suspicion of drunk driving in miami beach um he was swerving in and out of lanes looking super hammered so they gave him two different breathalyzer tests and uh he scores this is a pretty good score here better than his stats in his rookie year he has a a.194 on the first one, which is quite shit-faced. It is. And then.175 a little while later. Both times, that's too much. Pretty drunk.
Starting point is 00:26:34 Yeah. We'll just call him pretty shit-faced. Yeah. He is released after posting $1,000 bond after swerving around Miami Beach. And to get pulled over for a dui in miami beach back then you had to be really trying because pretty much what 93 4 of the people on the road were pretty drunk i would assume at two o'clock in the morning 24 hours a day drinking there i just learned that that's crazy that's an insane place miami because it's i could i could
Starting point is 00:27:02 never be i could never be no no no no i could never do it it's just the humidity i'd be i'd be wilted by three o'clock every day i'd be like i'm going home air conditioning i don't know what the fuck you people are doing but i didn't get in a pool and my hands look like raisins what is it it's we were calling it the heat blanket when we were just in florida we're like it's just a blanket and it's just a blanket, and it's just covering you. It's so heavy. It's on your neck. It's disgusting. Your feet hurt from the pressure of being held down by the atmosphere. So gravity is worse there. It's just a stronger gravity.
Starting point is 00:27:37 It feels a little stronger there. Maybe there's not enough. You know what? Like we were saying, it's only three feet to water, so maybe not enough gravity buffer maybe i don't know what it is it's closer to the to the equator and you know when you're like on a on a merry-go-round and you stand in the middle it really feels like you're going down there's not enough land to like you know right the way the earth obfuscated a little bit yeah versus your tropical fucking weather i believe jupiter has something to do with it it's in there somewhere one of the moons of jupiter is in the right place you really too much push it's too
Starting point is 00:28:08 much yeah that's what it is i think jupiter was off when we were there so um here is the first of many many many many many statements released by the team that he plays for about an arrest of his these are the silverest statements of all time this is not a mediocre talent this is a guy who they see as a hall of famer they see him as another lawrence taylor they're like if we can just contain him to just an arrest every couple years nothing that gets him actual jail time something we can sweep under the rug by the time the new season starts then yeah you know he'll get his 17 18 sacks a year and we can go to the playoffs that's we go next season that's it so the niners released this statement quote we take these issues very seriously but we'll reserve
Starting point is 00:28:55 further comment at this time as there's an ongoing legal matter so side sidestep that nicely the 49ers will continue to gather the facts and monitor the developments closely. So, they're going to do that. What they mean is, come on, it's Miami. They're like, come on, it's after the season, he's a young guy, he's partying, he knows better, he knows to take a car next time. Next time he knows, it's fine, he's going to
Starting point is 00:29:18 be okay. Oh, it's a young guy, come on. Boys will be boys. So, they eventually reduce the charge to reckless driving after he completes a program for first time dui offenders so that's his sentence yeah it's his first time and they're like you know oh he's the poor guy he was just celebrating the tough loss to the giants so a couple months later six months later to be exact june 30th 2012 this is fucking amazing he's having a party at his house it is a party it's a party hosted by him and a teammate what fucking teammate is this now it's a guy who ended
Starting point is 00:29:54 up playing for the titans later um i'll find his name but they they uh he they're they're throwing a party at his house during the party there is two people that get shot tons of gunfire and alden is stabbed twice so it's a party that's a party that's a scene that's a hootenanny right there if there is that's three people with mortal wounds that are not mortal but you know possibly near mortal wounds. You could get stabbed twice, twice shot or someone with a bayonet. What kind of party are you throwing? Fucking crazy. So, yeah, it's a giant melee.
Starting point is 00:30:35 I guess, you know, it's a mess here. So he believed he suffered stab wounds in his shoulder and abdomen. Oh, my God. From a pocket knife. Luckily, it wasn't like from a Rambo knife or anything. He was trying to break up a fight at a party, is what the report was, at his party. Someone shanked him over it. Wow.
Starting point is 00:30:52 Somebody told him to get the fuck out of here and shanked his ass. This is according to the police sergeant here who showed up. He said, quote, it was pretty chaotic when law enforcement arrived. There were at least 100 people, and there was a lot of alcohol involved. Everyone was confused. Everyone heard gunshots, heard commotion, but nobody knew where the gunshots were coming from.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Amongst all the chaos, there were a couple of gunshot victims in the crowd and a stabbing victim. It's nuts. That's I've never thrown a party like that, right? That's like a, that sounds like Ybor city, like,
Starting point is 00:31:24 you know, but at your house, that's like uh that sounds like ybor city like you know but at your house that's fucking crazy i've been at those parties as a as a oh yeah young child wouldn't throw one as an adult no no i i we had one of those there was one on uh new year's eve when i was like 17 or 18 that it was like this big party it was in a basement in new york and the fucking the basement was it was it had the exposed beams like it didn't have a ceiling so it had the beams that you know called the other floor together you you see the underside of the other floor yeah well the beams were six feet high so i could only stand there if i stood between the beams right and there's a
Starting point is 00:32:03 couple other people like that well a fucking riot broke out now you try having a fucking riot when you can't stand up straight duck down and fight that's not how you fight i don't get out you can't do anything yeah you can't even turn your head bang oh fuck there was like a bunch of us useless in this situation if you don't know when crystal pepsi was discontin, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay. I am here for you.
Starting point is 00:32:35 I'm Darcy Carden, and I'm inviting you to listen to my new podcast, WikiHole, from SmartList Media. Discover the craziest rabbit holes on Wikipedia with me and my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane. And if you listen to my podcast, you'll learn that that's the science-y term for eardrum. We embark on a hyperlink roller coaster as we start out on a Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link, careening through trivia, oddities, and unexpected connections until we collectively
Starting point is 00:33:06 shout, how the hell did we get here? Follow WikiHole on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to WikiHole ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. The wait is over. So far, you're not losing. The only thing you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that.
Starting point is 00:33:27 Ding! The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything. You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything. I can fix that. New cases.
Starting point is 00:33:42 She wanted to fight me. Leave her. Leave her alone. Okay, so, um... This is not a so. This is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor.
Starting point is 00:33:54 You married his cousin. His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am. I would make a beeline for the door. The Emmy Award-winning series returns. How did I know that? I have a crystaleline for the door. The Emmy Award winning series returns. How did I know that? I have crystal ball in my head.
Starting point is 00:34:08 It's an all new season. It's streaming. You can say anything. Judy Justice, only on Freebie. So it's terrifying. With this, nobody was being shot and stabbed, at least, I don't think. Yeah. That's helpful. I tried to break up a fight and and got i still have a scar on my back from it
Starting point is 00:34:28 i got stabbed in the back trying to stop yeah that's what happens and then i realized this isn't for me i'm too small to be stopping shit and what's the lesson you learned from that jimmy don't be with these people but a greater a greater lesson in life. Greater? I don't know. Mind your fucking business. Yeah, there's that. Mind your fucking business. I obviously didn't learn it because I didn't know it when I was asked on the test right now. Yeah, you still didn't know it. Damn it, Jimmy.
Starting point is 00:34:56 But I think you know it internally when the situation pops up. Mind your goddamn business and not intervene. I'm sorry, Professor Patragaloso. I don't know. i don't know the answer i don't fucking know professor p i'm crying so hard i'm trying man i just can't get to it so oh my god jesus christ yeah that's mind your own and he should but i guess if it's at his house it's hard to mind your own business it It is his business. Hey, stop fighting in my house. Hey, it's my house.
Starting point is 00:35:28 Why are you stabbing me? And he's the type of guy, he's so big. If you were going to go at him and you weren't another professional athlete, you probably would stab him. Because that'd be the only way you'd have a prayer of doing anything. You better have something. He's going to beat the shit out of you if he catches you. Period. He's going gonna grab you and he's gonna pound you into the fucking ground he's gonna tackle you number one right if he can crumple
Starting point is 00:35:51 fucking blaine gabbert at will he can crumple you too so uh he this is what the 49ers have to say about this they're like jesus christ my god again okay we done our helmets are gold not silver people okay let's try and see what we got after the niners by the way every team he plays for is a silver helmeted team how fucking is that right perfect is that three different teams all silver helmets how wonderful is that check it out we'll talk about it so it's we'll get there so they say uh this is trent Balke, the 49ers general manager. We are in contact with Alden and thankful his injuries were not more serious and that he's recovering comfortably. The 49ers are also in communication with local authorities as they gather information regarding the incident.
Starting point is 00:36:38 And we'll reserve further comment at this time. Oh, my God. Then they just never make another comment. That's what they do. That's how you push it off. That's the new thing to say yeah they used to be like we don't tolerate this shit we're gonna rip him a new asshole and then they went to hey i don't want to say anything and now they get to just like well we won't comment at this time because we're gathering facts and then they never say another word again once it blows over and the next guy gets arrested somewhere else it is a 24
Starting point is 00:37:04 hour news cycle that's what they should say and they get it well i mean hey look at the pretty thing over there it's sparkly and shiny right look at that what who uh alden what now you know the shiny thing everybody scatters so 2012 the niners are 11 4 and 1 they had a tie that year. Look at that. Really? Yeah. Jim Harbaugh again. This year, divisional round, they beat the Packers 45-31. I remember that game too. That was a shootout. They go to the conference
Starting point is 00:37:34 championship against the Falcons and win 28-24 and go all the way to the Super Bowl against Baltimore. This was the season too that Alex Smith got hurt and then Colin Kaepernick had to come in, and he took him to the Super Bowl there.
Starting point is 00:37:50 The lights went out. Yeah, this was while they had momentum, too. This was a weird game. 34-31 Baltimore in the end on this one, and Niner fans are still pissed off about the way that happened. So they're real mad, and they have a right to be. That was a weird one so yeah that year though alden starts all 16 games he has jesus christ he's crushing it 50 solo tackles one interception 19 and a half sacks shit damn i mean that is nasty three forced fumbles he is just all the place. A fucking menace to society on this field, man.
Starting point is 00:38:25 I mean, watch out for Alden. Still allowed Flacco to get a ring. Yeah, he did. He did. He's also, yeah, but there's so many bad quarterbacks that have rings. Trent Dilfer has a ring. You know what I mean? If Trent Dilfer has a ring, anyone can have a ring at that point.
Starting point is 00:38:42 Think about it. If everything's sacred, nothing's sacred. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Trent Dilfer has a ring. Anyone can have a ring at that point. Think about it. If everything's sacred, nothing's sacred. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Trent Dilfer. Once Trent Dilfer got a ring, it really wasn't that special anymore. May as well just give him cubic zirconias now. Yeah, and I wasn't mad at that, by the way, because how many other Italian quarterbacks have won Super Bowls?
Starting point is 00:39:03 Let's go back in time and think about it not a lot of us in the league dan marino is our big fucking hope that we had it pinned to and that never happened so when flacco did it we were thrilled he's a good quarterback he's i didn't care if he was good or not he's a guinea from new jersey so i was happy about it i was thrilled i swear to god i was like this is great the man has 300 million dollars he's made so much money from being very mediocre that's pretty pretty impressive a sick amount of money he really has so he always has that fucking ring he uh alden this year also is first team all pro and a pro bowler he is legit fucking top tier nfl right outside linebacker bad motherfucker uh that year though he has some he has some problems that year
Starting point is 00:39:53 oh you wouldn't think so having such a great season but he really did yeah september 20th 2012 he's a passenger in a car where they swerve to avoid a deer go off on the side of the road and flip the car flips multiple times while he's in it it's almost safer just to plow the deer just go right through it yeah but your instinct is to not hit a giant 400 pound object in the road and then you swerve and hit a tree that won't move at all so that's the stupidity of us deer stand there while there's a fucking two-ton thing coming at them they don't move at all so that's the stupidity of us deer stand there while there's a fucking two ton thing coming at them they don't move below it and then we go oh shit i won't hit the thing that'll move if i hit it i'll hit this stationary object that'll fucking stay be here till the end
Starting point is 00:40:35 of time instead so it's two mammals making terrible decisions back to back when we fucking do that we should be going you won't move fuck you dear and then gun it and try to fucking you've made a big mistake today bitch motherfucker scream the worst thing out of him you can out the window punk bitch fuck bow that's right if you're gonna hit him anyway he's an orphan motherfucker if you're gonna hit him anyway at least enjoy it man that's all i'm saying have some fun about it so luckily for him he's so goddamn big that if you're in a car that flips, you don't really have a lot of room to bounce around and hurt yourself. You're just kind of in. Just crumples around you?
Starting point is 00:41:13 Yeah, you're just kind of trapped in it, which can be actually better for you. And he comes out of this flipped car with a cut above his eye. That's all he's got. Nothing. He's fine otherwise. So much so that he plays that week in the game against the Lions and has a good game. Holy shit. Yeah, that's all he's got nothing he's fine otherwise so much so that he plays that week in the game against the lions and has a good game holy shit yeah that's tough his teammates are pretty impressed by that saying he's pretty goddamn good um all this there's a report in
Starting point is 00:41:36 november of 2012 that he's in a columbia missouri restaurant and as he was leaving he was jumped by a bunch of people. There's a big report that comes out that says he was jumped at the El Rancho restaurant in Missouri. Stop going home. That's one of the rules. Don't go home. They don't need to see how successful
Starting point is 00:42:00 you are. They know. Send them a coach ticket to California. They can come out and visit you. Coach. Save your money too save your money 69 each way you can buy them the upgraded thing so they're in like you know boarding group fucking three or something that's fine but nothing more than that i'm sorry and it's up to them to check in early if they want to i tell them wait you better do it the second you can or you're gonna be 87th on the list if it texts you check in you what you better have already been looking at your phone yeah you blew it already you're already over you're already in group c you're done yeah it's you're you're out
Starting point is 00:42:39 so he uh he says that that's absurd. He said nothing happened. Never got jumped? No, he tweeted saying, nope, nothing happened. Bullshit. Didn't do a goddamn thing. He said he hopes this stuff would stop. He said that type of stuff. I mean, yeah, I'm growing up.
Starting point is 00:42:58 I'm learning from my actions. I'm learning from everything good and bad. I'm maturing or whatever. Or whatever. I'm maturing or whatever. whatever i'm maturing or whatever mature or whatever as a fucking great statement it might be the title of the show mature or whatever that is fucking amazing i'm maturing or whatever uh so that year he broke cedric hardman's 49ers franchise record of 18 sacks in one season, which was set in 1971, which is before they actually counted sacks officially.
Starting point is 00:43:29 So that's not even actually a real record. So, yeah, he actually has it himself anyway. So good job for him. He's doing amazingly, honestly. Jesus, we can't do better than this. 2013 season, the preseason thing, he is number seven on the nfl 100 list number seven number seven best player in the nfl they're saying top 100 players he's number seven yeah so you're gonna have you know you're including all of his issues including everything but on the field he
Starting point is 00:44:00 played every game and had 19 and a half sacks so not too bad 2013 here okay he uh they're 12 and 4 the niners so they had a good run there for a while not bad they were they were certainly in charge of that uh nfc west for yeah for a good three years at least here the first round they win in the wild card round 23 20 against the the Packers. They beat Carolina 23-10 and then lose 23-17 to Seattle in the championship game. So he does a great job in the beginning here. Four and a half sacks in the first three games of the season he has. Doing great. Then September 20, 2013 has a little bit of a problem here before the fourth game.
Starting point is 00:44:44 He is involved in a single vehicle accident in san jose california so that's just him i like to call those an unforced error that's a you crash your car into nothing yeah there's no nobody else involved just you just fucking up it's like just garrick just did it too it's like tripping down your own stairs in your house how many times you gone down your stairs you know better than to trip down them but you did it anyway didn't you nobody tripped you unless your cat ran under your legs or something yeah otherwise unforced so he is arrested on during this actually after the crash on suspicion of driving under the influence and possession of marijuana as well.
Starting point is 00:45:27 This is pre legalization here. So he's arrested here at approximately 7 a.m. They take him. He's officially arrested. This happened in the middle of the night in the Silver Streak district of San Jose. His vehicle collided with a tree. Oh, God. No other cars around. Nobody else in in his car so maybe he fell asleep do they plant those in the road there now i don't think so
Starting point is 00:45:52 i think those are off to the side i think you really got to aim for those really you really got to go pretty far off the road to hit one i think too really point your car in that direction yep the uh the cops said the initial investigation revealed that he's driving under the influence of alcohol. He's released on $5,250 bond or bail, and he's also booked on the possession of marijuana charge. He went to practice the next day. He went like right from jail to practice. He's going to show his face there with all that shame. That's it well he
Starting point is 00:46:25 didn't jim harbaugh said quote i'm disappointed and i feel like he needs to go to work face his teammates and soldier through it so i'm disappointed but not enough to give him consequences on the team i just want him to go out there and play harder and win more for me just let's just make this better for me how about that his hair turning silver by the day yeah this is crazy michigan in no time if this asshole keeps this up he's like well we were three points away from losing the super bowl this year so unless he kills my wife and dumps her on my front porch he's fucking playing because i need all hands on deck because we're gonna be we'll get those three points back this year. And I feel like that's how Jim Harbaugh is too.
Starting point is 00:47:08 He just strikes me as the type of guy that would be like, based on everything we've learned of him too in the last few years, he's not the most... Just fucking play hard, God damn it. My job depends on it. That's what I mean, yeah. He'll do just about anything to win, and that's fine. He's a coach. That's what they do. Whatever.
Starting point is 00:47:24 So he says that he expects Alden's going to play against the Colts in a couple days. Don't worry about it. There will be no consequences here. His consequences will be you have to play harder now. And I realize that when they hit families in cars and obviously other people are hurt, that's much worse oh yeah monetarily and emotionally that that's really but this had it not been the tree it would have been a goddamn family it's clearly out of control it's also two duis in like exactly a year so no time you have to go frightening maybe he's got a problem of he can't stop drinking and driving
Starting point is 00:48:02 that's pretty close together there. Instead, they lose the game to the Colts that week. He doesn't have the greatest game, so he goes to rehab. But they squeeze that Colts game at him. They're like, listen, Peyton Manning's coming in. We need a fucking pass rush, period. That's it. He's a statue, and we need to get a pass rush on him.
Starting point is 00:48:25 You can go to rehab on Monday. If he had three sacks and we got a W that day, he doesn't go to rehab. He's not going to rehab. Jim will just come in early to chat with him every day. Right. So it's at that point where he's also sued here. He's in a civil suit by the man who was shot at his house. Oh, really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:43 Now, the other guy who was throwing the party with alden smith here was uh delaney walker who used to be really yeah 49ers and he went for the titans titans after that uh he's also named in the suit and they their lawyer though says this is fucking amazing you can't sue us for that because quote you have this is fucking amazing he freely and voluntarily exposed himself to all risks of harm by going to the party the balls you have to know that if you go to alden smith's house there's a good chance you're going to come out with a bullet in you you have to know that like i'm sorry what how is it not common knowledge that it's dangerous to hang around alden smith you should know better haven't
Starting point is 00:49:25 you heard of his driving record you should know you're in danger what the fuck kind of comeback is that driving records are public record you should know you should know not to mention it was all over the newspapers and every goddamn website and everything in sports the fucked up part is to me i think okay if they just had a party and it's a social gathering you can't help who it's a it's just a party at your house if you're having a social gathering you're not expected to have security and check people for weapons and all that shit but they were charging people admission and per drink fees for this party you have to be kidding me if you're charging at that point you're responsible business yeah
Starting point is 00:50:05 it's a bit it's you're responsible it was ten dollars a head to get in and five dollars per drink how cheap is he well what i think he did is he probably got a bunch of strippers or a bunch of women that he knew and he was like yo reason to be there's hot ass women in here ten dollars to get in for fine and five for fucking drink. So help me pay for this. But when you do that, then you're responsible at that point. Then you do have to make sure you're providing a safe environment because it's not just, hey, you know, you're coming in for free. I'm giving you drinks.
Starting point is 00:50:37 We're all hanging out. It's, you know, whatever social contract. This is different. So his lawyers also say that the injuries weren't called caused by alden smith he didn't shoot the guy okay so i mean i could see if i he my client shot him but he didn't it accuses though and this the police also are going to accuse them him of this later apparently when they decided the party was over the two football players they went out on the balcony and began firing guns out into the air to get everyone's attention that the party's over.
Starting point is 00:51:08 Like, not one shot. Like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. They just started firing shots into the air. So that's why everyone scattered and didn't know where gunfire came from. Then other people started shooting and a melee broke out. You don't know. That was after Alden got stabbed that's why he said party's over everybody and that's how he chose to end it dinner whistles a sig sour you
Starting point is 00:51:32 can't do that actually it's an assault rifle as we'll talk about what yeah he's just bucking assault rifle shots into the air in a city by the way which you can't do that shit's gonna come down eventually stupid ass like That's dumb. So either way, they're being sued. They say that they were both drunk there on the balcony when they were firing gunshots into the air trying to end the party. The identity of the shooter is unknown, but there's a real problem here, and a big problem, I think,
Starting point is 00:52:02 and they don't make a big enough deal out of this. There were several guns found in Smith's home, including three kinds of assault rifles, all of which are illegal in the state of California where he has them, and an unregistered 45 handgun. Oh, my God. Now, according to the cops, Smith fired the handgun into the air and the other guy fired the other gun, I guess. The other guy fired the other gun, I guess. But the unknown shooter, they don't know who he is. Nobody knows who the shooter is. Use the used his fucking forty five to shoot the guy.
Starting point is 00:52:35 So the victim at his house was shot with his gun. Well, so that's that's definitely a suing offense. Right. I would you not you charge money to get into a party and then armed a guy who shot me. What the fuck is that? And even if you didn't hand him the gun, if you left your guns out in unsecured places for people to use them and shoot, you're responsible for that. That's crazy. Even an unsecured, unregistered weapon, a.45 just lying around? If you had your fucking car and you let your drunk idiot friend use it to go plow into somebody, guess who's fucking insurance is going to get sued?
Starting point is 00:53:07 Yours, asshole, for a reason. You let this asshole do that and he'll get sued. Everybody will get sued. This is crazy. Like, what an idiot. And also, no one's saying who the shooter is. So he doesn't claim anyone stole his gun, though, because it was there. So the shooter shot the guy, then returned his gun, and Alden Smith has no idea who he is.
Starting point is 00:53:29 I'm sorry. You know who the fucking shooter is. You're very aware. And if I'm the 49ers, I'm saying, you're not playing until you say who the fucking shooter is. How about that? Right. Until you act like an adult. This looks bad.
Starting point is 00:53:40 I don't care how many sacks you get. We're a fucking major corporation here. I don't care how many sacks you get. We're a fucking major corporation here. We can't have the V star of this major corporation having his guns shoot people and then having him hide the guy. We can't have that. That's crazy. We happen to be worth more than you and we have more to lose.
Starting point is 00:53:57 Yeah. There's still be a 49ers when you're long gone. So we can't have that shit anyway. So that party was insane. They also found all sorts of tons of fucking mags full of loaded up with bullets, too. I mean, he was really he was he was hunkered down there. It's that month as well that he is ordered to pay nine thousand seven dollars per month in child support for his five year old son at that point. So, yeah, apparently that's been going on for a little while,
Starting point is 00:54:28 this woman trying to get money out of him, and she finally, $9,007 a month. That's not bad. That's a good amount. So September 23, 2013, he is placed, the 49ers place him on the NFL list. I don't know what the fuck that is. Whatever that is, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:46 Whatever that is. I believe that's because he's in rehab so that's the i'm going to rehab list so um october 9th 2013 this is what a couple weeks later um the police formally charge and arrest him for three felony counts of illegal possession of an assault rifle related to the shooting stabbing party night the charges are later going to be reduced to misdemeanors um there so they're like you're firing illegal guns into the air during a party in a city and they're dropping that to a misdemeanor yeah dude he there is so much silver all over this guy like he would be either it's a crazy charge he would be either in prison or banned for life from the nfl if he wasn't a great player like it's the thing he it's
Starting point is 00:55:31 people sign him right the day after he's suspended for a year they sign him still that's how good he is think about that how good you have to be to be like i know you're not even allowed to play for a year and maybe more we don't even know how long. We'll give you a – We'll take a chance and hopefully be able to rectify the situation. We're going to pay you money just in case. Like that's – Jesus. That is wild.
Starting point is 00:55:54 So the felony charges, they're all felony charges for Christ's sake. He's supposed to surrender to the police next month. The charges are being filed now. surrender to the police next month the charges are being filed now 49ers coach jim harbaugh says quote we've been we've been aware of the incident the serious nature of it we're all accountable for our actions good and bad there's a due process that will take place i don't feel the need to comment further on it we're all actual sentences and i want out of this well these aren't even really sentences they're just kind of one-offs cliches yeah we're all accountable for our actions good and bad he didn't say how he's going to hold anyone accountable nothing he didn't say what he's
Starting point is 00:56:34 going to do that he's the coach he's in charge of that sort of thing there's due process that's there's a due process that will take place in other words i'm not responsible for it yeah we'll let the courts deal with that who am i to judge you know what i mean that's what he basically said the legalities i don't know i don't know the badge and then he said don't feel the need to comment any further on it in other words someone else will get arrested before the next time you're able to ask me about this so subject changed shiny, shiny thing. Bye-bye, everybody. Holy shit. So October 29, 2013, he surrenders to authorities in advance of a court date to face his felony weapons charge. And he also enters rehab again.
Starting point is 00:57:15 Rehab again? Again. Yeah, it's his October rehab. He refreshes himself every fall. Three years in the NFL. Rehab twice. Rehab twice. Well, yeah, he's got DUI, shooting, stabbings.
Starting point is 00:57:25 He's got a lot going on, Jimmy. There's plenty here. My God. I think it's a fall thing. It's more like to change over from the summer wardrobe. He goes into rehab, and then he comes out in full fall wardrobe at that point, I feel like. He does a winter one also. You should see his spring rehab.
Starting point is 00:57:41 It's beautiful. He comes out in gorgeous dresses. It's like a cotillion. He's got to get himself in good shape for those pumpkin spice lattes. That's absolutely right. You've got to do it. Well, there's also the homecoming dances. He's got to be, you know how it goes.
Starting point is 00:57:55 He's very in there. Apple picking. Yep. So he's in rehab. Harbaugh says he's been trading text messages with Smith while he's in rehab, and he said that um he quote he's made quite a bit of progress okay what is he he's good now you bet he's all good he's fine let's get him in there fine from here on out i really need him to chase around joe flacco and
Starting point is 00:58:17 hayden manning and fucking tom brady because that's my main concern here. And Cam Newton, too. He's fast. So there you go. He really is. October 31, 2013, Halloween, the NFL places Alden Smith on the exempt list, which I guess that allows him to play because at the same time, the 49ers activate him to the roster from the non-football injury list. Wow. That's what they call it when you're just a dipshit. Non-football injury. That means stupid stupid he's taking time off for stupid that's what the nfl list is it's a non-football
Starting point is 00:58:51 injury list that's crazy he called him stupid yeah that's what it is he called in stupid this morning so we're putting him on the non-football list here so called in ignorant of the law wow that's amazing so um he he promised though he said this is fucking amazing he comes to he comes to the next practice that he's at after all this shit right it comes in and then he has to answer his questions you know everyone wants to talk the media wants to talk to him and he said they said well what are you what are you planning on doing differently and he said quote making sure this doesn't happen again. That's not hard to do. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:30 And they were like, did you have a hard time? And he said, of course I did. I didn't want to be away from the sport I love, but it was good for me to get away and get my mind together and work, like I say, just to get to the positive spot that I need to be at. And he said, you know, it's crossing. They said, what about playing. And he said, you know, it's it's crossing. They said, what about playing Sunday? He said, you know, it's crossing my mind.
Starting point is 00:59:49 I would like to play Sunday. I'm just taking it one day at a time, getting back here, being around the guys, just getting my life back at home. I should be here. If I'm able to put on the cleats and snap on the helmet, I'm here. I've got a 10 month old son. Perfect. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:05 And I'm so I'm doing the father thing. I'm just trying to make sure I'm ready to go. The game this week is crossing your mind. Crossing my mind that he might play, that they might actually let him in the game. He said that he wouldn't say where he sought treatment, but he said he kept in touch with teammates, watched 49er games on television, and kept in shape while he was there.
Starting point is 01:00:29 And his defensive tackle, Justin Smith, said he sounds great, looks great, and is ready to go. He's a freak of nature, so I think he'll be ready to go no matter what. They're just everybody. Here's what is this? Oh, Justin Smith again. He says, oh, no, this is Patrick Willis. He says, says quote when you have a guy such as alden and all his talents the biggest thing we can do is let him know we're here
Starting point is 01:00:49 for him that we're his teammates but let him grow on his own sometimes patrick willis an asshole too i think he had i think he just quit early did he i think he had problems he probably i think you're right i think you're right i think he quit because his eggs were scrambled yeah i think he was just like top of his game, big contract. And he was like, I'm fucking done at like 30, I believe. So he says, sometimes going through what he went through, the last thing you want is a million people saying what they know is right. The biggest thing is to be true to himself, keep a tight circle and understand if he wants to talk, he can come to us. I think he should be fine from now on.
Starting point is 01:01:24 Right. He's got the support for sure. You just got to stay, he can come to us. I think he should be fine from now on, right? He's got the support for sure. You just got to stay on the course. I mean, from what I'm feeling, I feel like it should be fine. I'm going to just say he's good now, right? I think he's okay. Yeah. Well, that season he plays in eight games, or he plays in 11, starts eight,
Starting point is 01:01:40 has eight and a half sacks. So pretty good. Still not bad. On the field, he still does it. April 13, 2014, offseason. Okay, yeah. Jesus Christ. He's at LAX, all right, at the airport.
Starting point is 01:01:53 Apparently, he is, and this happened to me fucking the last time we went on the road, two roads ago. Not a big deal. He was chosen for secondary screening from TSA. That's such a pain in the ass i have pre-checks i go through the thing and they go you've been randomly selected and i just had to go over and stand on the other fucking thing and they tap my pockets it took an extra i don't know minute and a half and it was smidgen annoying and it's fine whatever that but it happens it's a
Starting point is 01:02:18 random thing who gives a shit i don't really care he gives a shit let me tell you something he gives a shit hard i mean i don't love it don't get me wrong but when you travel a lot you just get you get so used to indignities you just fucking you don't care anymore you really do you're like you're not gonna check up my ass i don't care then whatever if you cut my balls make sure they're there i really don't give a fuck where do you see how the hotel's gonna treat me when i get there it's gonna be way worse than this so i don't really fucking care i don't speaking of that we had a problem in orlando the dignity being ripped from you you ought to hear like it's just it's too much yeah he can't handle a minute and a half secondary screening how would he handle this
Starting point is 01:03:00 all right we left tampa to go to orlando we had shows in tampa and orlando so we got a ride from tampa to orlando it's like an hour and 20 minute drive so we just got a ride and we're going there everything's great and we hadn't slept for shit it's just been tough travel and everything else and we had two shows and then we had another two shows so we get to our hotel at like 1, 115. Yeah. And we're like, if our rooms are ready, this is going to be great. I'm going to get in like a two-hour nap. I'm going to feel fucking great.
Starting point is 01:03:32 This is going to be awesome. So we get there. And Jimmy's there. And I'm like, you're going to go first. Jimmy goes up to the counter. And then I go a minute later. I'm going to my thing. And I hear Jimmy to my left.
Starting point is 01:03:45 And they go, oh, OK, Mr. Wissman. Yep, got you right here. Okay. Got you checking out. Then I hear, right this way, let me show you where the elevators are. I mean, they might as well have picked him up in what they would carry a sultan around in and take him to his room. Like, here you are, Mr. Wissman. Let me get a magic carpet for you to take you there. Like, it was fucking, couldn't wait to get him in his room like here you are mr wistman let me well let me get a magic carpet for you to take you there like it was fucking couldn't wait to get him in a room put these leaves on your shoulders
Starting point is 01:04:10 these ladies are here to feed you and i hear huh he said james click click click click click click hmm mr wistman and you're jay click click well he tried to say Petra Gallo and it didn't work. That's why. That's probably why. His accent, he tried once and he said, Mr. James. Then he started calling me Mr. James after that. He had no fucking clue how to say my last name. And he was so embarrassed.
Starting point is 01:04:38 I'll give him that. That's fine. You don't have to say my name. Just give me a room. It's not ready right now. Of course it's not. Perfect. Terrific. Why would it be? Why would it be ready? And he's like, but no. say my name just give me a room it's not ready right now of course it's not perfect terrific why would it be ready and he's like ladies keep it down i gotta watch this he did too jimmy starts
Starting point is 01:04:52 wandering over because he's like here it comes it's happening because we were joking and jimmy's like no no it'll be fine okay it's happening the guy is like like, I'm going to get the maid expediting it right now, so we'll have it real soon. And what's the best number to text you on? We'll just text you. It'll be great. Sure. I go throw my shit in Jimmy's room. Get it for you fast.
Starting point is 01:05:15 So Jimmy's like, oh, I'm hungry. I'm hungry, too. Great. Let's get some food. I'm like, I don't know if we're going to have time to eat. Because if my room's ready, I want to go take a nap like right there and probably be ready before we're done. He said they're expediting it. Oh, fuck it.
Starting point is 01:05:28 Let's go sit down. Who cares? Let's get lunch first. It'll be good for us. So three hours later. We had lunch, walked around. Sat there. Kept checking.
Starting point is 01:05:41 Kept checking. Asked, please, God, we have two shows. If I could get a half hour nap, it would change my life. Oh, yes, I understand. I understand right away. Three hours later, got in just enough time to get in and get ready for the show. Barely enough time for that. Like it was cut to close.
Starting point is 01:05:58 Wash your hands, put on different clothes, let's go. Run out the door. So that's what happened to me. And they acted like like it's a four o'clock check and they acted like 3 49 you should be thrilled thrilled 11 more thrilled yeah it's like thank you that's terrific that's great so in actual awake time i spent like 45 minutes in this hotel room that i fucking paid for. I was very upset about this. I didn't get to enjoy any of its amenities, we'll put it that way.
Starting point is 01:06:29 And if my flight wasn't much later, I would have had around the exact same amount of time in the hotel, because I was not about to go up and miss all of the celebration. All of this pageantry of me getting denied a hotel room once again.
Starting point is 01:06:46 Being told to fuck myself. No way I'm going to my room and missing this. Taylor Swift is soaring high. Her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans. She's broken billboard records and made Grammys history, not to mention becoming a billionaire in the process. But along the way, Taylor has had to wage war, first by taking on a very powerful, very famous manager, Scooter Braun, and then by going up against the biggest live events company, Ticketmaster. Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery's show Business Wars.
Starting point is 01:07:23 We go deep into some of the biggest corporate rivalries of all time. And in our latest season, Taylor Swift will shake up not only the music business, but Hollywood and the NFL. Follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Let's watch James get his name butchered and then told to sit in the lobby for three hours. That'll be fun. That's much more entertaining than fucking sleeping. Who wouldn't want to watch that?
Starting point is 01:07:49 And hilariously, the restaurant was empty, and the food took forever. Oh, it took like an hour for a piece of fish that takes like four minutes to cook. It was insanity, dude. That place had its head up its ass, that entire restaurant. The leisure with which they do everything was insane. Oh my God, it was fucking crazy. You guys don't have any sense of
Starting point is 01:08:06 urgency to get some shit handled not in a hurry at all for any of it unbelievable yeah we're good so this if this happened to alden smith he would have ripped the desk out from the guy that was between him and the man and thrown it out of the way and then fucking you know throw had him splattered up against the wall like a Stranger Things monster. Especially if Delaney Walker just gets to go to his plane. That's the other thing. Delaney's like, peace, brother. And he's like, you motherfucker.
Starting point is 01:08:33 Enjoy the pat. So he apparently freaked out, became belligerent and uncooperative with TSA agents. And he's a very, very big guy, first of all. Imposing, yeah. So right away, you would imagine that he's threatening anyway, just because he's a big guy. So if he's being belligerent, you're like, oh, God, I hope this guy doesn't hit me. He's enormous. Then he claimed he had a bomb as well. What?
Starting point is 01:08:55 He started yelling about having a bomb. So now he's a giant guy with a bomb. What's scarier than a giant guy in your face? A giant guy with a bomb in your face? At the airport. At the airport. To the TSA agent. And that would be a reason why you would freak out if you had to be secondarily
Starting point is 01:09:14 screened, too, because you have a bomb. None of this is good. Very bad. Here we go. Here's the police report. At approximately 1,400 hours, a 25-year-old male resident of San Jose, California was going through Terminal 1 screening and was randomly selected for a secondary screening. The suspect then became belligerent and uncooperative with the process and with the TSA agent, making comment indicating that he was in possession of a bomb before proceeding toward the gate area. And then walked.
Starting point is 01:09:42 He just said, fuck fuck you and walked away and he's a goddamn 280 pound you know guy who can take who throws offensive linemen out of the way have you seen tsa agents they're not gonna physically you know keep you anywhere those people and then the security further beyond them is even smaller oh they're even smaller yeah none of these people that it's not the it's not the the the fighting force this isn't our delta force here they may work near delta but they're not the delta force they are they're like the allegiant force or the spirit force i would call them more like it that's a much lower class than something like that so they suck um okay he became belligerent blah blah bomb los angeles airport police made contact with him at the gate and he was positively identified as the person in
Starting point is 01:10:33 question the biggest motherfucker here look for him right once again the male subject became uncooperative and he was detained and taken into custody by airport police and is currently being transported to lapdD for booking. He was booked on one count of false report of a bomb threat. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They passed that along. That would be serious.
Starting point is 01:10:55 Sure. They passed that along to the FBI as well. It's a federal crime in an airport here. If convicted, he faces up to a year in jail. He also appeared to be shit-faced drunk at the time as well there's there's the problem therein lies the problem he shouldn't be drinking um he also at the time when they were doing that he freaked out um one of the things he said at first you're not touching me then he said fine strip search me strip search me and started saying he
Starting point is 01:11:22 was gonna take his clothes off and then he claimed to have a bomb um then he said he didn't have a bomb seriously strip search me then said fuck you people and walked to his gate wow that's a giant drunk man there um that's not what you that's not what you do there there's video of him being arrested at this point being taken away in handcuffs and telling police that he did nothing wrong and saying, you motherfuckers are going to be embarrassed. You're going to be so embarrassed about this shit when people see it and know about it. Really? He told us to take your dick out all day.
Starting point is 01:11:52 I think you're the one that should be embarrassed. You begged for a strip search after telling us you had a bomb. What are you talking about? Because you were minorly inconvenienced. Jesus Christ. Well, what do the 49ers have to say about this they always have a statement trent balky the gm said quote we are disappointed to learn of the incident today involving alden smith this is a pending legal matter and we are still gathering
Starting point is 01:12:18 all the pertinent facts we will have no further comment again we don't know same thing he have you he really gets through that line though have you seen him when he when that ball snapped he's he's fast in the backfield i don't know if you've watched it's like he has a bomb up in his pants he's just on the move you know what i mean it's he's fast he follows that pill and goes right after it holy shit but he's got college teammates coming out in support of him at this point. Older guys that he's known a long time, they're going, he's a good guy. Don't think that Alden's a bad guy. I've known him forever.
Starting point is 01:12:53 Basically, it's like a full-on PR campaign from, I don't know if it's him. I'm sure he hired a publicist by this point. Or if it's the team's publicity people trying to polish up his image a little bit here. if it's the team's publicity people trying to, you know, polish up his image a little bit here. But one of the guys he played at college with, Terrell Rossano, who roomed with him at Missouri, said in college he was great. He was accountable on the field and off.
Starting point is 01:13:17 I still think he's a good dude. He said that he's confused by Alden's behavior lately, and he said he must be having personal issues because the real Alden wouldn't do that i mean personal it's still the real all you just can't handle what it's what he's going through no no no whatever the fuck it is this is a different alden this guy he's he's different alden he's airport drunk bomb threat alden this is a different guy here he's mature whatever he's mature whatever i mean it's fine uh former linebacker donovan bonner said quote alden is a different guy here he's mature whatever he's mature whatever i mean it's fine uh former linebacker donovan bonner said quote alden's a great dude he looked after me when i was a freshman okay that doesn't mean anything no that's that's he's nice to me oh great
Starting point is 01:13:57 well thanks a lot for your fucking your thing there did you ever pat him down no shit another guy on the team said that he believes that while he looks seems to be troubled now, Alden, he's a good person deep down. A good person. He said he'd like to tell Alden, quote, keep your head in the game. A lot of people still look up to you. Represent the University of Missouri. Yeah. Oh, he's representing it all right.
Starting point is 01:14:22 He's really doing a good job. He went full charge on the publicity run. Well, yeah, because they were touting him as we got a top 10 draft pick. Two of them. We had two top 10 draft picks in the fucking same season. That was a big deal for them. They're a powerhouse, but they're like a second tier powerhouse. They're not one of the main national championship threats every year.
Starting point is 01:14:45 a second tier powerhouse they're not one of the main national championship threats every year um he he comes out at some point apparently allegedly and said that he was on the tsa's no fly list oh he's like now i'm on the no now i'm on the no he's not he's not on the no fly list never a law enforcement source says he's never on he wasn't on the no fly list he never was on the no fly list say saying quote the no fly list. He never was on the no fly list. Say saying, quote, the no fly list is for terrorists, not idiots. Sir, I applaud you. Yeah. Sir, sir or madam, I fucking applaud you because that is the line of the week right there. You got that in the press.
Starting point is 01:15:23 That's well done. What they asked him one line the no fly list is for terrorists not idiots and they walked away fucking no he's a moron i got shit to do oh that's amazing so um anyway but yeah he wasn't actually carrying a bomb just to clarify in case you didn't know certainly wasn't so the case gets kicked down to the la city attorney's office for a possible misdemeanor prosecution because he didn't actually have a bomb. So they weren't aren't calling it a real threat. And after interviewing multiple people, they don't they can't tell if he actually said, I have a bomb or I or you don't know if I have a bomb or I might have.
Starting point is 01:16:00 They don't know of what is specific. There's multiple people saying that he said something specific that is different. So it's too muddled. He may have even said, I don't have a bomb. But the thing is. Yeah, he might have said, bitch on the bomb. Like he was, I don't even know. It's 2012.
Starting point is 01:16:14 He might have been a little late to the party and still using it. We don't know. Yeah. It's possible. You just don't say that word ever. They searched my luggage and I had bath bombs and they said, what is this? And I said, it's a, you know what it is. I was like, it's a bath thing that you don't say at the airport.
Starting point is 01:16:31 That's what it is. One of those. Yeah. Those things. And don't worry about it. It's fucking hilarious. I had an unopened box of baseball cards that I got for my cousin once, still wrapped in plastic that said Don Ross on it from like factory sealed from
Starting point is 01:16:46 like 1987 and they fucking took that shit out at the TSA brought me over to the side rubbed bomb juice all over it to make sure it wasn't right rubbed the shit all over it looked at it ran it through the x-ray by itself I'm like it's fucking baseball cards right it's sealed in plastic that says Donruss do you think I have that at home I'm making Donruss you can't chew it's fucking baseball cards. Right. It's sealed in plastic that says Donruss. Do you think I have that at home? I'm making Donruss. You can't chew. It's not C4. Christ almighty.
Starting point is 01:17:10 Yeah. What is wrong with you people? But they had like three, four people over there. It was a big, giant thing. What is this? It's fucking baseball cards. That's what it is. Shake it.
Starting point is 01:17:18 You hear that? That's baseball cards in there. They look like chimpanzees with a new toy. That's what they were doing. Looking at it running through the thing ran it again on its side i'm like what is wrong with you people they're it's not that big of a mystery what these are i said you can open the plastic and take them out we'll open a pack together i don't give a shit let's do it see if i got a don mattingly i don't fucking
Starting point is 01:17:41 care just get me out of here it was like 15. I didn't freak out and say I had a bomb. It's a long time ago, but still either way. Instead, he's going to be they're going to have inside the city attorney's office. They'll set a city attorney office hearing to address the matter. Jesus. A city attorney office hearing is a minister is administered by members of the city attorney's office in lieu of a criminal filing. So it means nothing is what that means. It's a waste of time.
Starting point is 01:18:10 Involved parties are scheduled to attend and give their account of the incident. The individuals are then admonished about the applicable laws and given suggestions on how to avoid similar incidents in the future. So it's a bitch fest. You come in and you go, listen, you can't do that. If you do, you'll get in trouble. And you come in you go listen you can't do that yeah if you do you'll get in trouble and here's you know you shouldn't do it again i think he knew not to do that that's not something that he needs to be updated on who pays for those i wonder yes everybody i think what a waste of money that seems like a waste of time there so i don't know um anyway he uh he'll get scolded with officials.
Starting point is 01:18:46 It's basically a way that they can have a public thing because they can tell a celebrity that he fucked up but not actually charge them with anything. Public flogging. April 18, 2014, the 49ers say they're going to suspend him for the start of the 2014 NFL season. It's just too much stuff here. May 21, 2014, very soon after that, he pleads no contest to the three felony weapons charges and two misdemeanor counts of driving under the influence.
Starting point is 01:19:16 They squished it all into one. He's got two DUIs and three felony weapons charges. They're just going to cram them all into one, and he's going to plead to that, and they're going to help him out here. Supposed to be sentenced July 25th, but July 18th is when he gets sentenced because it's moved up a week because of a family emergency involving the prosecutor. How do you know your family emergency is going to be next week? I've got a family emergency coming up. Coming up in a week. Can we do this now instead?
Starting point is 01:19:45 That doesn't make any sense. I could see it being delayed a week for that, but not a week early. Listen, my wife, she's going to be pretty sick next week. I'm telling you. The fuck is going on? My grandma's going to die next week.
Starting point is 01:19:59 We're going to put her down. We're going to put her down next week. That would be the only way down. We're going to have a guy come over and inject her and she's gonna go to sleep forever if it was for a family death we need to arrest that man for uh fucking premeditated murder i'm not gonna be here next week my wife's dead no she's not i just saw her last night we went out to dinner the four of us well she will be when he walks away that guy needs to be looked at i think so he is sentenced to here we go yeah it's it's coming strong here you sir heavy charges yeah may fuck off 12 days in jail
Starting point is 01:20:35 for the weapons charges and you sir may fuck off again another 12 days in jail for the DUI charges. They're going to run concurrently now, so don't think it's 24 days. It's 12 days. And he's able to serve them by joining a work crew on Mondays when the team's off. So he doesn't have to have anything, miss any work, anything messy like that, have Jim Harbaugh yell at him. Didn't miss any work, anything messy like that. Have Jim Harbaugh yell at him. He's also sentenced to three years probation and 235 hours of community service and about a $4,000 fine. That's what he got.
Starting point is 01:21:15 How many years of probation? Three. Three. That's heavy. That's pretty heavy, but I don't think it's like he doesn't have to go there every week or anything. It's just probation in terms of don't get arrested again type of shit. So it's not that bad the big thing is he's prohibited from drinking alcohol which he's drunk at the airport he's drunk at the party firing off guns he's drunk when he's doing all this shit i think alcohol is his issue here probably he's drunk when he's doing everything
Starting point is 01:21:40 when the cops are around yeah he for the the most part, not drunk, nice guy. Drunk, fucking uncontrollable monster. Can't control him. He's armed, too. He comes out. Yeah, it's like the werewolf comes out of him and shit. He's insane. And he's giant and out of control.
Starting point is 01:21:58 This isn't like Dave Meggett getting shit hammered or something. This isn't a Muggsy Bogues is drunk type of thing. You can hold him down for a while until he goes to sleep with his binky. But you can't do that with this guy. This guy holds you down. Well, you go to sleep with his dick in your mouth probably instead. Here's your binky. It doesn't fit.
Starting point is 01:22:17 It's too much. It's too much. So he, yeah, he's doing all that. He's not allowed to drink or what is it? Not allowed to drink or be in a he can't be in a liquor store during his probation as well. So you can't even go in a liquor store. Yeah. So they said that he the judge said he gave him such a light sentence because he has no criminal record involving violence.
Starting point is 01:22:40 So, you know, it's not like he's been violent. Now, that's the prosecutors say that smith didn't receive any special treatment in the case either yeah no he said in the end we treated alden like any other person in similar circumstances except i call him by his first name to the press not mr so-and-so yeah like i would some other schmuck alden because you know we we do go to the same country club, but that's beside the point. Jesus Christ. You treated Alden like everybody else.
Starting point is 01:23:10 Alden, tee up. You're next. You're next, buddy. Tomorrow morning? Remember, 830. Don't be late. We're optimistic that the punishment will be sufficient to get him on the right track. I'm sure.
Starting point is 01:23:22 What do you think, Jimmy? Oh, boy. Good now? Think he's good now? He's so reckless. It's hard to say. But I would venture to say now that he's gotten a punishment, he knows that there are things that happen when there's consequences. He is going to have to ruin every Monday that he has for the next, you know, at least few weeks.
Starting point is 01:23:42 This is just, I mean, he's obviously going to clean it right up. He's going to teach a mature or whatever person how to behave. Mature or whatever. 2014, heading into the season, even though he's suspended going in, he is number 33 on the NFL 100 list. Well, he's dropping. Well, because he barely didn't play a lot last year. Yeah, that's a good point.
Starting point is 01:24:03 August 30, 2014, right before the season starts, the NFL suspends him for nine games. That's the NFL, not the team. So suspended for the first nine games of the year. This is why Jim Harbaugh, I think, was so adamant about brushing everything under the rug here is because the team goes eight and eight that year when he's suspended for the first nine games. Damn it. That's not good. But on November 10, 2014, he's reinstated from suspension. Here he is, baby.
Starting point is 01:24:33 It's on. Fucking, yeah, baby. He's grooving. Look at him coming out. He's going to throw a party about it. He's going to throw a party. Gunshots firing off the ceiling. That's what I'm talking about.
Starting point is 01:24:45 Reinstated, he says, now he does not need alcohol anymore, he proclaims. Oh. It's broken. He says that he still, they ask him, do you still struggle and want to drink or all that sort of thing? And he said, quote, you know what? We should do an in their own words here, I think, on this. I think this is his total I'm good good now so let's give him his due he says in their own words quote i know uh what going down that path was like and i know what the effect it had on my life
Starting point is 01:25:18 as long as i keep that in mind i don't think i need alcohol for that. I think it's just better to knock out something that, honestly, can you put in crazy positions to either kill you, kill yourself, or kill somebody else. That is a convoluted-ass statement. It's better to just knock out something that, honestly, can put you in crazy positions to kill either you, kill yourself, or kill somebody else. So get rid of it, is what he's saying. Knock it out. Get rid of it. So get rid of it, is what he's saying. Okay. Knock it out. Get rid of it. So that's November 10th, 2014. December 23rd, 2014.
Starting point is 01:25:51 Okay. So soon. Teammate Ray McDonald is charged with sexual assault. Oh, my. Okay. In that case, there's an allegation there that Alden Smith was at Ray McDonald's home that day and was drinking there the whole time while this was going on. So this is after he said that, you know, he doesn't need it anymore. His his agent, Doug Hendrickson, his hair is just silver as fuck.
Starting point is 01:26:18 Oh, boy, is it? He says the allegation in the affidavit is completely false. He was not there drinking this is unfortunate because we're talking about a kid who's doing everything right are you fucking kidding me bro everything yeah doug but guys me we have to talk to you jimmy and i would like to have a word with you i just you know men to men here um you're full of shit where are you between us girls doug you're nuts you told you looked right into a fucking camera lens and said we're talking about a kid who's doing everything right wow the balls on you and then your fucking pants ripped because
Starting point is 01:27:01 your balls popped out of them that are so fucking big Doug, we're talking about a father who's fucked up. That's what we're talking about. Wow. He said the kid was doing everything right. He's working in the community and with kids, and his name gets lumped into all this, and it's all anybody's talking about. Wow. He put his name in there. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:21 He said he's been in the NFL's alcohol program and gets tested twice a week and he's never failed a test well booze gets out of your system pretty quick so if you get tested twice a week you know the days you can drink right you drink the day you get the day you get tested after you're tested probably that's your party day we've dealt with this before guys they knew their schedule they knew exactly what they could do when they could do it guys would coke binges on the weekend because they you they had until Friday to clean it out. So what does the 49ers have to say about all this? Something along the lines of there's due process.
Starting point is 01:27:55 He's got to pick. The thing is he's got to have a – Trent Balke, the general manager, has to have like a whiteboard in his office with platitudes on it. Yeah. You know, uh he's uh we're he you know we're hoping he turns it around we have no further comment at this time there's due process involved we're gonna let the process play out and then also this one quote we're certainly going to look into it that's the other one
Starting point is 01:28:18 glad you brought it up for us we'll have a look see you know what good that's like a politician when they don't know the answer or something they go that's a very good question now to talk about that we're gonna have to go back to and then they say a completely different answer that's what they just did we're certainly going to look into it in this situation i think there are different situations and we treat each situation differently but yet we're certainly going to look into it it's a situation and that those exist and there's situations for situations he might that's why we have situational awareness he might have said it might as well have stopped halfway through it said excuse me undid his belt
Starting point is 01:28:55 squatted down slightly shit into his hand and then rubbed it on his forehead that would have been just as fucking coherent as what he just said helpful just shit right there and start smearing it on his face and then say the other half of it i in this situation he said we're certainly going to look into it in this situation i think there are different situations and we treat each situation differently but yet we're certainly going to look into it that's like you asked me that today that sounds like an snl sketch of a of a coach who's trying to get out of saying anything about a player he likes. That's asinine. Wow.
Starting point is 01:29:33 Jesus Christ, man. So that year he does play in six games or plays in seven games, starts six, only has two sacks because he doesn't get to play that much here. So March of 2015, these 49ers alden smith need to restructure his contract basically yeah um so he needs to earn roster bonuses to reach his maximum salary they're like you have to actually play to get paid here from us now um he's scheduled to earn 9.754 million dollars that's a nice paycheck i would say in 2015 um they said they're willing to pay that amount to smith but he's gonna have to keep his shit together and be on his best behavior to earn it you know don't spend it in jail and rehab please basically all your time
Starting point is 01:30:18 the restructured contract that was all about incentives and um uh doug hendrickson the silver-haired agent says quote it wasn't like they said if you don't do this you're cut ultimately he's loyal and he appreciates all the 49ers have done for him they've supported him he recognizes that and he doesn't want to go anywhere he wants to continue to build trust and show them who he is. He's basically saying, I'm willing to bet on myself. There you go. How full of shit is this guy? He's been getting arrested constantly. Been a complete fucking embarrassment for the team.
Starting point is 01:30:55 A total disaster. Unreliable as a marketable main commodity that they're paying all this fucking money to. And this guy has the balls to turn it around and say basically make it sound like it was his idea yeah ultimately he's loyal and he appreciates it so he you know he wants to do this to prove it that they've supported him he recognized that he doesn't want to go anywhere super loyal he came in with the powerpoint and told us wow plan they sat him down and went listen alden we love you and everything but yeah you have to be here to get paid what do you say and he went all right that's fair yeah i don't want to get cut so sure so that is what day was that that's march of 2015 august 4th or 5th
Starting point is 01:31:38 ish 2015 comes around here just a few months later he gets into a physical altercation with the starting quarterback of the football team which is never smart for a defender to do colin kaepernick is fighting uh with him with him these two are in a fight in the middle of the field um this has been fueled by ongoing rumors about alden smith smith's ex-girlfriend currently fucking colin kaepernick oh Oh, my God. Alden does not like that, and there are lots of fights. They had an altercation on the field during practice, and players had to pull them apart.
Starting point is 01:32:15 Why? Who cares? That's what I mean. What are you doing? The word ex is in there. What do you care? She obviously doesn't like you. Yeah, just be like the quarterback the quarterback knows what my dick tastes like and then high five the fucking lather linebacker
Starting point is 01:32:30 keep going that's it done like what do you care if you have to yeah if you need to have like a if you need to have a macho angle on it pick that one that's easy yeah there you go the one that i came on her face too and yeah so many well now that i ruined her for him yeah she's gonna be all you know jesus you could put your whole leg up there now because you know me you know what i mean that's like alden what he would say so um yeah they said there it is there's all sorts of shit um i guess this is uh hot 97 host from Hot 97 radio station. Nessa is her name. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:33:07 She's the girl on the show. Yep. They had broken up in recent months, her and Smith. And apparently, even though that's not a public relationship with Kaepernick, it's a known thing that's going on. Nessa's dating NFL players, huh? Back to back teammates. Really? Alden Smith and Colin Kaepepernick how's that girl from
Starting point is 01:33:27 new york dating that's crazy it doesn't matter they're on the road all the time and shit they yeah i guess but yeah that's crazy that's fucking she likes the 49ers apparently here yeah so uh apparently that's how it wasn't they didn't even think that there was any words exchanged or anything like that like they just started fighting. So I don't know if Alden Smith just went after him and then whatever the fuck happened. But that's how it happened. So that's August 4th or 5th. Now, August 6th.
Starting point is 01:33:56 So he fights the quarterback. Yeah. And then the next day he gets arrested for something else. Sounds right. Not a good week. This is like week two of training camp also. Like, Jesus Christ, guys. We're doing two a days.
Starting point is 01:34:10 You know how tiring this is? Right. Aren't you tired? What the fuck? Get some rest, boys. He is arrested for alleged hit and run after driving under the influence and vandalism. That's three years jail, right?
Starting point is 01:34:25 Well, we'll find out here. He was parking his car, which drunk parking is harder than drunk driving. Yeah, it is. You know what I mean? Especially with an NFL player that big, probably has a giant car. Can't see over his giant shoulders either. I would assume it's a lot. I bet it's probably if
Starting point is 01:34:45 you were golfing it's probably easier to drug to drunk drive than drunk putt i bet yeah it's probably the same thing so yes um he was apparently uh trying to park his car when he struck another parked vehicle um then he got out of the car and fucking this is amazing just smashed his door into this car like he was mad at the car for being there and being hit even though it was a stationary object and now there's more damage to your vehicle and then he oh yeah he didn't care and then he um fucking didn't report the accident didn't do anything didn't write a note just took off and then returned to the scene later on yeah when the cops were there oh hey guys there you are and acted like nothing happened but the problem is they have a video of him doing all of this getting out stumbling around like it's terrible like he's
Starting point is 01:35:36 looks shit-faced he's driving shit-faced they said once he got back he quote displayed objective symptoms of being under the influence of an alcoholic beverage. They administered a sobriety test to him and he failed it terribly. And he is arrested for driving under the influence, hit and run and vandalism. He tells the TV station KTVU it wasn't a DUI. The truth will come out. Will it? The truth will come out. Meanwhile meanwhile there's a video of him
Starting point is 01:36:06 drunkenly bashing into people's park cars uh he also apologized to the fans and said quote it will work out how it's supposed to work out well yeah that's probably true you in jail man yep no matter how drunk you are probably the sun will rise tomorrow, I assume. But it's just which side of the bars you'll be on to see it, that's all. So he's arrested. He's erected. Yeah, there he is. He's arrested and booked into the Santa Clara County Jail in the whole case here. And, yeah, he's pretty fucked now.
Starting point is 01:36:41 He's sitting in jail. He gets bonded out. But, I mean, mean this guy when do you when's the no idea he was this much of a menace it's and it's all booze like at what point do you i don't even know what it is like how do you obviously a substance is a problem substances are a problem and alcoholism is a huge problem that a lot of people can't overcome it just seems like if you're young and you have every motivation on the face of the earth to stop doing it, not only for your employment, which is a life-changing, lifetime wealth
Starting point is 01:37:15 amount of money that you can make, especially if you're a star like him. Also, a very rare opportunity that you can't just fucking throw away. Well, these pass rushers get 120 million dollar contracts yeah if you get if you get if you can sack 15 times a year you will get a hundred million dollars you're gonna be rich in your hand yeah so not only that but you would think for me just the public fucking embarrassment of it constantly just the constant oh my god this is in the age of social media this isn't 1975 where you can just, hey, don't don't turn on the local news or I don't want to see the newspaper today. It's up your ass. You can't miss it. You're a jerk off in bright lights from everywhere. Fuck my life, man. You think you'd just be like whatever I have to do if I have to live in rehab and I'll do it like this is crazy. Otherwise, I'm going to kill myself fucking bashing my car into shit. Go out of my way to fix this. I've hit trees.
Starting point is 01:38:10 I've hit other fucking cars. I've been stabbed. I've been sued because there's a shooting at my house. What if that guy died? You know what I mean? You want people getting murdered at your house with your own guns? Right. Right.
Starting point is 01:38:23 Yeah. That's what happens. He wasn't even at his house but if it's at your house it's 10 times worse it's so much worse yeah yeah i mean but this was like a very similar situation imagine if that was at ray lewis's house how much different it would have been so it's fucking crazy he doesn't know what to do with himself anymore he really no one knows what to do with him anymore he's he's sitting do with him? He's sitting around one day and one day he says, you know what? I just need to get back to like, I need to like hear the birds chirp and I need to smell the grass. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:38:54 He just goes to a park and he sits on a bench by himself. He's just sitting there taking it all in the glory and the splendor of nature. Watching the squirrels fuck. Just watching the squirrels fuck. And out of nowhere it gets, here comes the splendor of nature. Watching the squirrels fuck. Just watching the squirrels fuck. And out of nowhere, it gets, here comes the clouds. Thunder begins. Then the clouds open. And God is before him.
Starting point is 01:39:14 And he says. How is it you've come to arrive here, Alden? What? Seriously, bro. Like, this is, you're getting, it's a lot. Like, I get that, listen, I enjoy a drink as much as the next guy. Cool? Like, seriously. Like, me and Peter and like a few of the others, we hang up here, man. It's, like, cool on, like, a Saturday night. But we don't try to, like, I say, you know, tuck your wings when you go home, man.
Starting point is 01:39:52 Just get a ride. Like, don't try to make it on your own. Right. You're down there. You're going to get in trouble, bro. I've given you. What haven't I given you? You're an Adonis.
Starting point is 01:40:01 You're a god. I've given you. You have everything. The strength to be a god.'re a god I've given you the strength to be a god that's what I've given you and you've said I will take this and I will run it into a tree that's what you've said you've spit
Starting point is 01:40:13 on my creation and I'm disgusted with you Alden to be quite honest with you for Christ's sake it's terrible that's all I'm saying I know it's weird that I say that but I don't care anymore because you've brought me to this point where my blood is boiling and I'm just like I'm supposed to be like cool. I live in clouds for fuck's sake, man. You know how like comet is up there and you just it's fucking always in my ear like Alden, Alden, Alden, like six billion people.
Starting point is 01:40:38 I have to worry about you. Asshole. I marked my son for you. Cut the shit, man. For real. Like for real, for real for real though this time like i'm not kidding okay okay i'm gonna trust you i'm watching you know i'm watching okay all right poof and he's gone in a cloud a poof of clouds and harps and angels he's gone and alden's like that was fucking crazy where's the bar boy do I need a drink. God damn.
Starting point is 01:41:05 So finally, August 7, 2015, the San Francisco 49ers release Alden Smith. Released. Finally. Jesus Christ. I mean, it took, wow. He really had to fucking do that. Yeah. I mean, if you're talented, that's what happens.
Starting point is 01:41:21 So in a statement announcing the move the team said quote this organization has tried very hard to help alden fight his issues although he's no longer a member of this team our support and concern for him will continue yeah he just won't be mentioned with our name next to it so next time he gets arrested don't ask for comment yeah we sure hope that he's signed by somebody soon so they don't keep saying x49 yeah yeah say current somebody please yeah it's so predictable everyone he plays for too like you could just go who's he gonna play for now this team or this team and you go yes actually those two yeah you know exactly what i'm talking about too you absolutely do it's a real quick trip across that bay. It's a real quick trip there. And then you can head on down to you know where and where everything's a little bit bigger.
Starting point is 01:42:11 Check it out. He said, this is Jim Tomasula, one of the coaches there. He said, it's a sad day. This is a day that doesn't have anything to do with football. Although he won't be playing for the san francisco 49ers he will be supported and helped and he will not have to walk that path alone like all the fucking coaches are going to keep up with the guy they released for constant jerk-offism yeah he's not calling him the defensive coordinators you need me to come with you to your fucking rehab appointment i'll
Starting point is 01:42:40 come with you to aa this week yeah no no no, no. We'll get through it together. We'll eat donuts and drink stale coffee. No. Fucking happening. So that comes from our ownership down is what he says. We're not worried about football. It has nothing to do with football. We're not worried about football, mind you. He won't be back.
Starting point is 01:42:59 Wow. Then he says, if one person out there reads this and you're struggling, get help. Go get it. You're worth it. There's value in every human you're struggling get help go get it you're worth it there's value in every human being get the help find it especially if you're 300 pounds and can rush the quarterback like a madman get it help find it and then come to me and see me and i'll get you on the team and anyway back to what i was saying he said find it two people read those words they are you and him as he showed his family that look i was in the paper today didn't i sound really like it was like real like didactic i was coming around man that was some bad shit
Starting point is 01:43:29 anybody reads this i sound like i sounded like i knew some shit like i i was studied i was studied on the subjects i was really into it it's pretty hot shit this guy thinks people read that oh my god he talked to like one alcohol counselor and then made this speech like i talked to a guy he told me this it's pretty amazing yeah he said uh when when a man we saw a man fighting working and trying once again real life everybody has struggles they're just in different ways from our perspective from him we need the things that need to be addressed with 100% of everything he has. That means nothing. So Alden has something different to say. He says, justice will be served. Oh.
Starting point is 01:44:12 The truth will come out. There's no DUI, and I'm sorry for anybody I let down. He just denies it. He said, it's time I need to speak. I want everyone to understand this wasn't a DUI. The situation that happened could have been handled differently. And I apologize for everybody I let down. I apologize for how it all played out.
Starting point is 01:44:32 But as far as everything is concerned, it will work out how it's supposed to work out. That's all. That's it. And then they asked him a follow-up question. And he said, leave me alone and walked away. Literally, that's what happened. Not even kidding. That's not a joke. Yeah, but what about this said leave me alone and walked away literally that's what happened not even kidding that's not a joke yeah but what about this leave me alone leave me the fuck alone so now he starts coming under the wing of charles haley wants to mentor him really one of the craziest motherfuckers that ever while he played in the nfl one known as the wackiest crazy
Starting point is 01:45:03 motherfucker later on he found out he's bipolar when he's like 48 years old and that's what was wrong with him the whole time but his behavior in the locker room and shit was legendarily awful he would just in meetings he apparently had a giant cock right and he liked to just he'd like to just like lotion it up all the time so they'd be sitting in like a fucking team meeting and he'd be sitting there just stroking his cock out in the open with fucking lotion like you can't jerk off in the meeting room bro i'm not it's ashy he just no he'd just be like yeah look at it like he was fucking he's a monster keeps it from being itchy that's what wow otherwise i'll be scratching it so uh charles tailey said he needs help and i'm not going to give up on him i don't know how it affects his
Starting point is 01:45:52 career but it's more important uh it's more important about the man he called me thursday night but he didn't tell me anything all i know is the kid has a great big heart he's got some things to work through and i'm just mad i couldn't help him get through it okay there you go so september 11th 2015 the oakland raiders sign alden smith even though he is definitely going to get suspended soon they don't they don't care mere hours after the signing three hours later after he signs with them the santa clara county district attorney files three misdemeanor charges dui hit and run with property damage and vandalism against him for the last accident right away they you could have waited till after it happened to sign him that way you wouldn't have
Starting point is 01:46:37 to make a statement about it because it's like well that happened before we signed him i don't know now we're looking toward the future they signed him and then this happened and then they had to make a statement like later that day about it we just got him you already have to do it that's what he was a 49er those guys do that stuff i mean you know how that is ray mcdonald jesus you heard about him he said alden smith of the oakland raiders has been notified that he's now suspended without pay for a minimum of one year he's suspended for one year for violating the nfl policy and program for substances of abuse. Under the terms of the policy,
Starting point is 01:47:08 Smith will be eligible to reapply for reinstatement no sooner than 60 days before the one-year anniversary of the suspension. So the Raiders, they also issue a statement, in addition to this negative statement, saying that Smith is a, quote, positive addition to the team. Solid guy. He's not allowed to be on it, saying that Smith is a, quote, positive addition to the team. Solid guy. He's not allowed to be on it, but he would be great if we could get him on there.
Starting point is 01:47:30 He's like a fantasy player now. If we just wrote in 15 sacks for him, we'd probably win our division. That's what we're saying. He said, he remains prominently in our long-term plans, and we will continue to support this member of our family as he gets the help he needs he's been on the team for 15 minutes yeah you just never he's never played it down for this team 2015 um for the raiders he does get back early because that's he's suspended but he gets back uh reinstated apparently, because, or was that, yes, 2015. He ends up playing in 2015.
Starting point is 01:48:07 He plays, whoa, because they suspended him through the 11th. Okay, well, that makes sense. No, because he came on. He must have played later. Was it a calendar? Yeah, I don't know. Either way, he is 2015. The Raiders go 7-9 under Jack Del Rio.
Starting point is 01:48:21 He plays in nine games and starts seven of them that year. Has three and a half sacks. So I don't know whatever happened there. Oh, cause it's, he, he's not officially suspended till November 18th, 2015.
Starting point is 01:48:34 That's why he's, he played that and then was suspended. Yeah. I think there was an appeal or whatever that he could play through and then he was suspended. That's how it works. So he's then suspended for a year. And they say that the Raiders have is in their long term plans. Doesn't matter. Smith said goodbye to everybody in the
Starting point is 01:48:52 Raider organization, said, I want to thank the Raiders, my teammates, the fans, our coaches and our owner for supporting me throughout all of this. I'm taking this time to work on myself and become the man I need to be. My team and my organization needs me. My team and my organization need me to be, and I know I can be. I had lost my love for the game, and it led me to some poor choices, but I'm thankful to the Raider organization for believing in me this season, and I will continue to better myself and grow from my experiences. I look forward to rejoining the team next year when I am good now.
Starting point is 01:49:25 All good. Then in the future. So the next season, he is declared a free agent March 9th because he had a one-year contract. 2016, he's March 9th, a free agent. April 4th, 2016, the Raiders sign him again. Oh, they kept him another year. Sign him up again. April 4th 2016 also
Starting point is 01:49:47 he suspended from the nfl that year as well so that's a problem um yeah what the fuck for this time we'll find out um july 24th 2016 okay over the summer here before the season even has a chance to start there's a video on periscope remember periscope i do that was popular for four seconds you try you were you were really trying that for a while too jimmy will try any fad that comes out when it comes to that shit i thought it was gonna be fascinating it turns out it's dumb yeah you were done with that in about a week i think like one week and then like a week later you you're like fucking Periscope sucks. I deleted that shit already. I hate that shit.
Starting point is 01:50:26 So there was a video that shows a man and a woman smoking weed during what they're calling a fire up session. And evidence suggests the man in the video might be Alden Smith. It emerged. It said it was a man and a woman smoking. And there's the evidence is basically they never show his face. man and woman smoking and there's the evidence is basically they never show his face the account is listed under the name ricky and features several videos clearly showing alden smith speaking speaking on camera yeah he's on him all the time during the fire up session uh the woman says you shouldn't even be posting this and he says they're not no one's gonna know it's. It's not like I put Alden Smith on there.
Starting point is 01:51:09 What's the evidence, James? It's not like I put Alden Smith on there. That would be like getting a murderer on tape going, it's not like they're going to know I killed him. I didn't jizz on his face or anything. It's fine. They're never going to get DNA. I mean, I don't care about weed, but you're on a substance thing thing and you want to play in the nfl you can't do anything like this so he can't even drink alcohol nothing they won't know i killed all those boys i didn't
Starting point is 01:51:34 write my i didn't write jeffrey dommer on them yeah it's like i did that christ so uh the also his voice from other posts are to sound exactly the same as this guy. So it's him, basically, is what they think, allegedly. He said it's not like it's Alden. Not like I put it's Alden Smith. Yeah. It's not like I put Alden Smith on there or anything. Fucking ridiculous.
Starting point is 01:52:03 So under the league's substance abuse policy suspended players must refrain from drug use during the full length of the suspension so that could mean he broke the rule if they can prove it who the fuck knows we'll we'll find out here whether he can prove it or not because that's that's really all that matters here so either way he's um he's a fucking idiot i would say at the very least right yeah he's pretty goddamn dumb like what are you doing i'm it's not like i said i'm it's alden smith standing there like what he makes he makes like he makes really dumb mistakes they're granted he technically nobody's been hurt except for the guy shot at his foot, which is a pretty big mistake. He's shooting himself in the foot repeatedly. Constantly.
Starting point is 01:52:47 Constantly. So July 25th, the next day, he denies that it's him. He says, quote, good try, not me. Then three days later, he checks into rehab. So I think it was you, Chief. Just going to say that. Why the fuck? Hey, it wasn't me. I'm fine. I'm not doing anything. I'm just going to go to rehab for fun. think it was you chief just gonna say that why the fuck out hey it wasn't me i'm fine i'm not doing anything i'm just gonna go to rehab for fun i like it there it's nice and
Starting point is 01:53:11 comfy um so august 20 or october 27th 2016 he's at a rehab and he requests to be reinstated to the nfl because it's been 10 months now so he can do that oakland general manager reggie mckenzie said alden is doing very well the situation is going to be totally up to the league because he's been in the program and they've monitored him. It's up to Commissioner Roger Goodell to say yay or nay or when. And he could say no to everything. That part is out of our hands. The league will take everything into consideration and Alden will have to meet with Goodell at some point so 2016 season december 30th 2016 right at the end the nfl denies his request to be reinstated and suspends him for the rest of the 2016 season says you got to stay out yeah um so that's nice um january 31st 2017 the 49ers sue
Starting point is 01:54:03 alden smith he's not going to make that journey alone he's going to make it with our lawyers 31st, 2017, the 49ers sue Alden Smith. He's not going to make that journey alone. He's going to make it with our lawyers and some litigators, and we'll be on that path with him, is what they said. In an effort to recover more than $300,000, the linebacker owes the team. Under the terms of the NFL's collective bargaining agreement, Smith was ordered to repay repay 1 million 186 027 dollars of his original 8.9 million dollar signing bonus after he was suspended for the first nine games of the 2014 season according to the documents he repaid the team 844 396 dollars and 82 cents between between August 2014 and March 2016,
Starting point is 01:54:51 but the team still hasn't seen the remaining $341,630.18. They want that 18 cents. Every bit of it. Every fucking penny. So February 13, 2017, Smith is under investigation by San Francisco police after a possible domestic incident. I was right. The police spokesperson here says that he tells the San Francisco Chronicle that Smith has not been arrested and that he and his accuser are cooperating with investigators.
Starting point is 01:55:20 Now, the one of the Davis's here from the Raiders said, it's something that we can't tolerate. It's just something we can't tolerate. I don't know how to fix it in society, but I know we can't have it on our team. So he is, uh, they suspend him again for another season now because he's already kind of suspended and they're like, well, we're just going to keep you suspended. Okay. How has he been more suspended for more seasons than he's played?
Starting point is 01:55:44 It's he has at this point so march 9th 2017 he is a passenger with a friend here he's not the one driving they're going to smith's house at about midnight when san francisco police department found out both smith basically him and his friend are real fucked up. The driver and him are real fucked up. And they hit a police car and drive off. Whoa. You can't. Jesus Christ. Whoa.
Starting point is 01:56:10 You can't do that. That's like the car. How do you. That's the car you're looking out for. Yeah. Oh, that's what I mean. If you're drunk driving, your cop radar is six blocks. Oh, how do you run into that one hit one it was a parked
Starting point is 01:56:27 cop car they hit if you saw a parked cop car you would turn off of that street you wouldn't even fucking pass it if you were drunk what are you doing that is ballsy that's the only one you don't want to be near it wasn't even unoccupied it had two fucking cops in it who were then injured he injured two cops sitting in a parked car while they were blasted into smith's girlfriend was the driver uh she's arrested on suspicion of dui and he's detained for public intoxication and they're going to release him when he sobers up not on any bail but he was acting a fool in the streets when this was going down so they were like we're gonna hold on to you for a while yeah let's do that uh that is fucking crazy he's not
Starting point is 01:57:11 the driver though allegedly here um and they were like we said detained uh he left the san francisco jail after that saying that nothing happened he left he said nothing happened he wasn't held against his will he said i had to go handle something and talk to somebody yeah you had to handle sobering up right so they didn't charge you with public intoxication that's jed to handle i hope the person you talked to was jesus jesus fucking christ i was talking to a friend who's locked up in there that's what I went to do. He's acting like they didn't even take him here. He just happened to come to the police station at seven in the morning to visit his friend.
Starting point is 01:57:52 That's what he's acting like. I don't even know what you're talking about. You guys going to arrest my girl? Can I go too? I got a friend there. Wow. Just I need a ride now since we hit this car and my shit's all fucked up. That's what I went there to do.
Starting point is 01:58:03 If I did something, I'd be in jail right now. Like didn't do anything that's what he said like i didn't do anything there has got to be an insane fight in that vehicle right so either that or they're just drunk but there might have been a huge fight yeah that's possible had to have been and that's why she hit the cops i mean he hit a fucking tree, I mean, you're looking out for those, too. So, you know. He also said, so we need to, if you guys want to talk about me, let's make these stories a little bit better. Let's put me in a better spotlight and stop making me seem like some badass criminal. Well, drunkenly stumbling around after your girlfriend hit a parked police car isn't a badass criminal.
Starting point is 01:58:44 That's a dumb shit. What was the conversation before they left who's drunker was that the thing oh wait i have seven duis you only have three why don't you take the wheel why don't you guys write stories about me being batman when you start being batman we'll talk about it that is fucking wild until batman needs to stop you uh we're gonna keep talking about this so stop making me seem like i'm some badass criminal because that's not who i am i'm a good person i've never done anything i've never done anything is the word out of his mouth right wow i've never done anything i've never finished a football season you could put that in there you say that i've never done anything i've never finished a football season you could put that in there you say that i've never done anything i've never hurt anybody i'm not that type of
Starting point is 01:59:30 person someone was shot with your gun at your house after you charged them money to get in that's you're something um let's start replacing these stories that's your story all right now get out of my face please that's what he said attitude is why he's gonna keep getting arrested oh my god so um september 23rd 2000 smith smith agrees to plead no contest to hit and run from the 2015 incident of backing his car trying to park his car in exchange for the dui dui charges to be dropped He was sentenced to 20 days in jail. That's it. You, sir, may fuck off.
Starting point is 02:00:09 20 days. That's the most time he's got so far. So during his sentence, he's ordered to attend a treatment facility and undergo anger management classes. That's where he serves his sentence, in a treatment facility. After his release, he's not only prohibited from drinking
Starting point is 02:00:24 or going to liquor stores, now he can't go into any bars or any other establishments where alcohol is the primary commodity being sold. So you're allowed to go to a restaurant, but you can't go to a nightclub, basically, is what it is. You can go out to eat, but you can't, you know, whatever. So that's wild. um that's wild uh during the case the judge also found that he violated probation from another case and was sentenced you sir may fuck off 90 days in jail but that also was put into the residential treatment thing so just go to rehab and we'll wash it all is what the judge says right it's fucking crazy this guy wow so 2018 february 21st 2018 Alden asks for a reduction in his child support payments. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:01:09 He's not making money now. Yeah, right. No. He's fallen behind almost $79,000 in payments. Oh, God damn it. Yeah. And he's concerned it's only going to get worse unless he can get it cut down. He says at the time the child support was determined, he was making $3 million a year,
Starting point is 02:01:24 so he could easily afford the payments but things have changed he said i've had no income since november of 2015 i've done my best to stay current but without an income i've fallen behind it's been like a year and a half since he's had any money coming in or it's been many years what do you say 2015 it's been three years since he's had any money coming in two and a half years he says i've done my best to stay current um he also uh one source connected to the case told the press that quote smith is full of crap and continues to live a lavish lifestyle while blowing off child support um now he's trying to be he's trying to be reinstated as well. And he's just trying to get his legal shit in a row.
Starting point is 02:02:09 It's hard, though. It's hard to be Alden Smith right now and go around and say you're going to be fine and everything's great. You're going to be good because everybody says they like him when he's sober and he's a great guy. And then he leaves the facility, gets shit-faced, and runs into a tree. So what the fuck do you do there? so it's hard to be alden smith and i feel bad for him jimmy a little bit a little bit just in that regard but not nearly as bad as i feel for alden smith cad designer in copple texas he went to the ittT Technical Institute. Poor bastard got robbed. Got robbed twice.
Starting point is 02:02:47 And he's Alden Smith, too. Alden Smith, website developer, programmer, system administrator in Kingston, Jamaica. Oh, yeah. Here we go. Alden Smith, chief estimator, Alden Electrical in Weymouth, Massachusetts. And then finally, Alden P. Smith, historian strategy lead at Skellig, industry advisor for ECU ISPE chapter in Greenville, North Carolina. I want you to look at this man and tell me how different. Move your chair over here and tell me how different this man looks from the other Alden Smith. That's an entirely different man.
Starting point is 02:03:27 He has a leprechaun. This is a tiny ginger white man with weird bugged out ears and a green bow tie. He's wearing a green bow tie. Why would you wear that tie when you have that bright orange of hair? Well, maybe he had a gig as the fucking Notre Dame mascot that day. Maybe that was it. He was the fucking Grand Marshal of an Irish St. Patrick's Day parade. Either one, something like that.
Starting point is 02:03:52 I don't know what's going on. Jesus Christ. He looks like a human leprechaun. That is crazy. So February 24th, 2018, a month after the child support thing and everything else. Good news for Alden here. He's engaged, as we know. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:04:09 When things are going horribly wrong. Nothing, no better idea than to go ahead and get yourself hitched. When you're making bad decisions, you're on a roll of bad decisions. You want to go ahead and make a financial, legal, and moral commitment to someone. Smart. That's thinking. Idiot. He's engaged.
Starting point is 02:04:31 His girlfriend, Shawna McKnight, took her out to a restaurant, to a restaurant, Gary Danko, in San Francisco, one of the fanciest restaurants in town at the time, apparently. It's Valentine's Day dinner. Went to do that. And, oh, happened to be sitting next to Joe Montana at the time, apparently. It's Valentine's Day dinner. Went to do that. And, oh, happened to be sitting next to Joe Montana at the time. Oh, is that right? Yeah. It's like, wow, look at that. You're the legend that won them all these Super Bowls and, you know, like a face of the team.
Starting point is 02:04:57 I embarrassed them for like four years. Good to see you, Joe. Excellent. Two guys whose careers couldn't have gone more opposite. More opposite. Talent bursting out of both of them but no during the meal he got down on one knee took out a big giant diamond and she said yes this is a month after he asked for his lower child support payments he buys a big giant fat diamond ring and joe montana watched and joe montana watched and it's on and it's on tmz sports so now they said they asked her as mcknight has now fiance she's a personal trainer um what
Starting point is 02:05:34 happened how long you guys been together she said they've only been dating about four months but they fell madly in love quickly and they're excited to get married oh for christ's sake. This is going to work out super well, right, Jimmy? This is going to go so poorly. It's going to go so great. That was February 24th, okay? She's never even pooped in front of him.
Starting point is 02:05:55 No, no, no. She's painfully held in a stomach full of farts after a fancy dinner. She's went home, laid in the bed, waited to hear him snore, and then went out on the balcony and unleashed just a fucking one of those ones that was like three different kinds of farts at once it started out like a and then it went to like
Starting point is 02:06:15 choppy like a 73 El Camino starting up and then went to like a hype at the end when it tailed off. She was like, oh, God, thank you. How everybody should feel after a four-hour flight instead of farting on the fucking plane. Yeah, keep your farts to yourself on the plane.
Starting point is 02:06:35 You monsters. Plan your life. So how do you live like this? That's February 24th. Keep in mind, only 28 days in february yeah march 3rd comes around this is a week later jimmy yep one week later police receive a call from the smith home oh no reports that he has consumed multiple bottles of tequila on his own and has bit his fiance's wrists for some reason has bit her on the wrists both of them after drinking much tequila on his own and has bit his fiance's wrists for some reason has bit her on the wrists
Starting point is 02:07:07 both of them after drinking much tequila i don't know if she thought he thought she was a lime i don't know what the fuck happened but are you that drunk did he put the salt on her neck and bite her wrist it's that drunk where he's like i need a lime there's one ow you fucking ass oh that wasn't a lime then he bit her other arm doesn't taste like a lime at all the caller says on 9-1-1 um by the way he flees the home before police arrive yeah after drinking multiple bottles of tequila so that's safe he's out driving the caller says you're driving oh my god took off in his range rover. Oh, shit. The caller says her ex-boyfriend is beating her up because they're engaged a week ago. We just broke up. I think once he made physical contact, he was her ex-boyfriend to her at that point.
Starting point is 02:07:53 So good for you, Shauna. And they also hear in the background, no, please, no, please. Like she's screaming to not be hit anymore. They hear 911 hears this. And then she also says it's an ongoing issue. And she says the last thing she says is the guy's name is Alden Smith. This is, by the way, 830 p.m. He's consumed more than one bottle of tequila to the head at 830 p.m.
Starting point is 02:08:19 This is in the morning. Yeah, this motherfucker started drinking and keeps drinking. They said she had non-life threatening injuries they said this is from the police here quote the suspect fled the scene prior to police arrival and was identified as professional football player alden smith here a 28 year old oakland resident um they went to a residence on the 600 block of bush street in san francisco after receiving the report then the victim shauna Shawna, called back once again saying, because I guess the first one was, he's beating me.
Starting point is 02:08:51 This is an ongoing thing. No, please, no, please. Then she called back again saying he bit her wrist. That's when he started biting her wrist, I guess, to get her to drop the phone. Right. Was part of it. And then climbed out her window and jumped off the balcony. Not even through the front door.
Starting point is 02:09:08 And then fled in his Range Rover. What a wild fucking scene. Dude, what is it, a Wolverine did a fucking... It's a banana chain of events and choices. Yeah, slam a fucking thing of tequila, throw the bottle against the wall, bite your girlfriend, then leap out of the window and drive away. What the fuck kind of... What a crazy thing to do.
Starting point is 02:09:32 What a weird day. Did he go... before he jumped out of the window? He turned his head back. Like Lost Boys? What the fuck, man? She said he was wearing a black 49er sweatshirt and gray sweatpants. They're like, no, no. Stop doing this.
Starting point is 02:09:51 Haven't the Raiders given you anything to wear? Show who you play for. Because he's going to get arrested and they're going to show him being walked in a fucking 49er shirt. And they're going to go, no. We got rid of this problem. shirt and they're gonna go no we got rid of this problem so i guess later on when they talked to her they said he drank two full bottles of tequila and she believes he was heading back to his oakland residence in his range rover and um so san francisco was saying they're gonna ask oakland police for assistance around 7 p.m that evening a couple hours earlier he posted a cryptic photo on his instagram account
Starting point is 02:10:26 of pavement it was just black pavement and it said wtf oh h you you are all wrong the fuck out of here uh yeah get the fuck whatever it is um they don't know where it was taken it sounds like he's drunk is what it sounds like yeah that's a drunk fucking instagram what the fuck out of here the fuck out of here you're all wrong he's a wtf oh oh h and he fucking took a picture of the ground did he not flip the fucking camera he didn't that's what he did he had it down he's like i don't tell him what's back click perfect yes excellent fuck out of here so many likes so many likes it's gonna be the best what the fuck out of here what the fuck out of here guys you're all wrong oh are you talking about it's downhill man oh god police say that they are seeking him after he fled the scene
Starting point is 02:11:27 yeah after they responded to obviously a domestic violence report um jesus christ they now after that the crazy thing is his fiancee the victim then persuades him she gets a hold of him has him talk to her father who's a doctor who alden like respects for some reason i guess i don't know what it is so he basically this guy the doctor convinces him to enter rehab and he goes into rehab so she says you need to talk to my dad dad says look medically you need to go into rehab. You're going to kill yourself, blah, blah, blah. So he goes into rehab. She would later on, the fiance would confirm that she was the victim.
Starting point is 02:12:15 She said that Alden is in rehab now after he called her parents and they asked that he check in. She said, quote, I'm scared for his life with his addiction. I cannot comment on the altercation, but I can tell you I love him and so happy he turned to my family who considers him family. And hopefully he gets the help he truly needs. And I can tell you this. Alden called my parents and asked them to take him to rehab. He complied. They went and got him. I was not there.
Starting point is 02:12:42 My family took him and had him checked in i wished the best for alden and i'm scared for his life so there you go yeah loves him march 5th the next day the raiders don't love him quite as much they release him we hope he gets help from her family too even for for us this is a bit much they're like this is a lot um he's played like eight games here and he's played more arrests than games played here i can't deal with this shit so um yeah jack del rio the coach said that he believed that his suspension stemming from the dui didn't help and uh isolation from his team only probably made his situation worse yeah and being on tmz more
Starting point is 02:13:22 times than cbs uh football that's a problem more times than fox that's a problem he said that um jack del rio said he's never liked meaning jack del rio's never liked he's never liked league rules that eliminate the ability of teams to offer alden and others in his situation the structure they so desperately need well you do have that option if he doesn't okay if before he fucking beats his girlfriend up then leaps out a window if he went to the team and said i have a problem i need help they would have put his ass in fucking rehab paid for it all not suspended him and probably paid his fucking salary the whole time yeah but when you say well when you say i'm fine then drink two bottles of tequila and beat your girlfriend up, jump out the fucking window.
Starting point is 02:14:05 Yeah. Then they don't want to help. Then it's beyond help. Then it's you help you. I can't help you anymore. You've got enough money and the current occupation to be able to structure your life correctly. The problem is every time he's not on the football field, it's time to drink and party and enjoy the money. And get fucked up.
Starting point is 02:14:23 That's not how it works, man. Plus, you'd think he would have some coping skills after being in rehab fucking eight times. You'd think he would have something to recall and go, oh, yeah, they told me that once. I should try that next or something. I don't know. Like I said, I get that it's like an addiction thing, but this is fucking ridiculous. He's not going home sitting in the corner and drinking and being sad. He's causing ruckus.
Starting point is 02:14:44 This is crazy. He's going out and driving while doing it you've got enough money to hire a fucking driver yeah hire the nfl will fucking provide you one for free they don't even you just call a number and some guy will come pick you up and take you wherever you want to go in a town car but if you want to impress people with your fucking range rover it's much more impressive to me that somebody shows up in a fucking black Escalade and gets out of the back of it. That's fucking impressive.
Starting point is 02:15:09 Yeah. Well, if I want to go out to dinner and have a fucking bottle of wine, I fucking get somebody to drive me. And I don't have, I'm not making nine million fucking dollars a year. And I could, I do that just for, Hey, this is smarter safety. We're going to drink two bottles of wine tonight, and I'm going to get home safe. That's all. And somebody else is operating the blinkers.
Starting point is 02:15:28 And not in jail. Right. So, yeah, so he's a fucking mess, basically. They release him. Yeah, it's bad. So March 6, 2018 is when he finally turns himself in. Oh, boy. Two days later, after he gets released, and is booked on domestic violence-related charges,
Starting point is 02:15:47 held on $30,000 bond, on misdemeanor charges of willful infliction of corporal injury, assault with force likely to produce injury, false imprisonment, and vandalism. Wow. So a source close to him said, I'm worried for him. I'm worried for his safety. He's an alcoholic. It's not about football anymore. We're hoping, I'm worried for him. I'm worried for his safety. He's an alcoholic. It's not about football anymore. We're hoping this is rock bottom for him.
Starting point is 02:16:09 Fingers crossed because this is bad. As you leap from your girlfriend's window with a tequila bottle in your hand, the moment your feet hit the ground, that should be rock bottom, right? You've jumped to it. While she's up in the window on the phone with the cops right holding the place you bit her at like that you're right that has to be fucking rock bottom if you're a half decent person if it's not you're in a lot of trouble yeah what is your rock bottom then what is where are you willing to go to get to rock for me i'd be like wow this is terrible i really fucked up does bloodshed have to occur apparently he's already been stabbed and he's
Starting point is 02:16:50 bit people so it seems like it has occurred people have been shot in his house so uh the charges he's going to plead guilt are not guilty to assault charges from here um he's hit with the four misdemeanors like we told you um now he checked himself into rehab the next day so that's they're trying to make that kind of a mitigator in court march 23rd 2018 he is arrested again yeah a couple weeks later for violation of the court order where he was ordered to stay away from his fiancee sha Shawna McKnight, that he already assaulted. She was, yeah, he came over, started arguing with her
Starting point is 02:17:29 again, and they fucking, he's back in jail again. Then, March 29th, 2018, he misses court. Oh, Jesus. Doesn't fucking show up in court. So he's an absconder. You can't do that. That's one of those things. How many times has he been arrested?
Starting point is 02:17:45 Always gets a bail and always a decently low bail because he always shows up. So, yeah, bail is meant to make you show up. It's not a punishment. And he shows up. So this time it was court for violating a protective order. So you got to show up for that shit. And they immediately put a bench warrant out for his arrest. Got to do that.
Starting point is 02:18:04 shit and they put it immediately put a bench warrant out for his arrest gotta do that finally 10 days later april 9th 2018 he's back in he's in custody what do you think he was doing for that 10 days oh that's a a bender looking for her wow that's like a barrett robbins mexico level bender is what he went on this is like holy shit so yeah he's 28 at this point by the way he's so young so prime of his life and career being held on a five hundred thousand dollar bond now because he ran away for 10 days right and he's got lots of resources so now they're like okay it's gonna hurt you if you fucking actually flee here we don't trust you so um anyway his blood alcohol level when he turned himself in oh my god i'll give you a fucking guess ah point alcohol trivially blood alcohol trivia 0.22 that's for pussies oh my god he got that pussies for pussies jimmy when
Starting point is 02:19:00 he came there he was so this fucking drunk they gave him a blood test when he turned himself in. Point four. Oh, he was drinking to die. You could. That will kill most people. So most people won't live to point four. Oh, that's how much of an alcoholic he is, is that he can hold point four. Oh, and not die.
Starting point is 02:19:19 He can still walk and say, I'm Alden Smith. He turned himself in the police with that level of alcohol in him oh my think about that man that's the kind of bender he was on that's water for blood at that point right it thins so bad it's if he was horrible just it would just spray he'd be like fucking yeah it's like a gusher a geyser. Be Yellowstone. Old faithful he'd turn into. Like that king that had a son that was a bleeder. You'd just have a rubber room so that he doesn't hurt himself. This is.40.
Starting point is 02:19:53 How much booze is that? My God. I can't imagine. Especially for a guy that weighs 300 pounds. Right. How the fuck do you get to.40? You'd have to drink bottles. You'd be so full from the booze when you'd move it would
Starting point is 02:20:07 do that you can hear water moving it's just that's what it would feel like you know it's the only way yeah how could you get there holy shit so that's wild um yeah from 0.40 that's five times illegal limit and you know a little over you know twice as much as you need to die usually. Yeah. Not bad. A little under than marking yourself. Oh, my God. So, yeah, they said most people with this level are in a coma.
Starting point is 02:20:36 So he's very lucky. They said, quote, this is from the report that the doctor gave, the nerve centers controlling your heartbeat and respiration are slowing down, and it's a miracle if you're not dead at this point. Right. You're pickling your body. So instead, he's taken to an inpatient substance abuse facility and then taken to jail once he dried out, which probably took him a couple days
Starting point is 02:20:58 to get that out of his system. Holy shit. I can't. He's going to be hung over, right? Oh, God. You don't come out of that and then just be like all right uh eggs and bacon let's do it so april 18th 2018 the judge orders him to he bonds out but he's ordered to wear a gps device and a scram device which is the type
Starting point is 02:21:19 thing that measures alcohol in your sweat oh shit so it's on your leg and any alcohol you have it'll monitor it'll it'll tick off it'll tee off to the system so he can't drink at all um he allegedly violated a condition of his electronic monitoring that's why he was arrested to begin with then they put the scram thing on him because they let him out he got arrested again after the point four oh yep and then they put then they put the fucking thing on him so that's crazy his fiancee Shauna McKnight said quote unfortunately through these
Starting point is 02:21:51 circumstances Alden and I are no longer together very unfortunate very unfortunate it's been the craziest six months of my life dealing with this fucking man it's with he says she said although it's with a heavy heart i truly wish him the best and pray he gets the help he needs i will always have love for him
Starting point is 02:22:10 but at this point i'm simply the victim in this ongoing case yeah i'm happy she figured that out probably because she comes from a good family and her father's a doctor and i'm sure her mother's a professional or like a homemaker or something that would like be better for her raising whatever the fuck it is it seems like she's probably okay also it seems like that might be why uh nessa chose uh a vegan like kaepernick over over this monster who hits over this psychopath yeah this guy you wonder why somebody would get away from her or bite or jump out windows or fucking or any of that at all yeah that would be nice just don't hit her at all so 2018 he's suspended for the entire season again yeah with all this going on the nfl is just like it's just perpetual suspension just consider yourself suspended until further notice the man's been suspended since 2015 yeah this is his third year of being suspended wow it's impressive um 2018 he
Starting point is 02:23:07 uh november of 2018 he goes to court for the domestic charge he's going to plead no contest to two misdemeanors of violating a court order and false imprisonment um for this whole deal um yeah in exchange he is sentenced to you, may fuck off 90 days in county jail. That's the problem. That's the problem. But he also gets credit for time served for the days he spent in jail and also for his stint in the live-in alcohol treatment facility. So there's no jail. No.
Starting point is 02:23:38 No jail. He also gets three years of probation, one year of domestic violence counseling and 25 hours of community service. This is the problem. And during the hearing, the Sean is allowed to make a statement and she said, I may never be the same after this. Sure. But she also wished him luck in getting and staying sober. And the district attorney said the victim in this case showed incredible resolve. If you're a victim of domestic violence, my office's victim services division is here to help. So he's got to do all that. December 2018, he sells his house.
Starting point is 02:24:15 Oh. He's had a giant fucking house this entire time. Yeah. It's called the Castle on the Hill, this house. It's got a name. Yeah. I'll read the article from when he sold it here. It's the Castle on the Hill, as the listing agent Jacqueline O'Connor Friedland described it in June,
Starting point is 02:24:36 as one of the largest estates in Alum Rock and offers a views of South Bay. The 6,400-square-foot home features seven bedrooms, six bathrooms, an eat-in kitchen, an adjoining family room, formal dining room, living room, home theater, and an office with a fireplace. Well, not bad. The spread also includes a three-car garage, large resort-style pool and spa,
Starting point is 02:24:59 a kids' play area, and multiple outdoor kitchens with outdoor fireplaces. Multiple. So, yeah, this is in san jose it was at a discount it was originally listed for as much as 3.5 million dollars but it wound up selling for 2 million 562 500 in december of 2018 um he had a hard time finding a buyer for the place uh he originally got it it's on 10 acres acres, too, by the way, at this place. Holy shit.
Starting point is 02:25:26 Yeah, he got it in 2012 for $1,750,000. And so he still made a profit on it. He still made three-quarters of a million-dollar profit. So, yeah, there you go. He relisted it. First he started with $3 million, then got released from the Niners. He waited a couple years then relisted it for three million four seventy five and then he sold it for two five six two five
Starting point is 02:25:51 it's worth more because i'm unemployed see see how much it's worth more now i'm not doing dumb shit in it after football games so 2019 suspended for the season is that right suspended for the season again in 2019 so he doesn't have a whole lot to do at this point so what does he do june 12th 2019 oh god goes out uh he's in the mission district there in san fran and goes out and gets himself a dui again jesus christ yep he uh he had, was stopped on a traffic violation. He's arrested around midnight, taken to the police station where he was issued citations
Starting point is 02:26:32 and released to a friend. When will he stop drinking? I don't know. They put him through a sobriety test. He fucking was terrible at it. They placed him under arrest. They tried to give him a breathalyzer, but he refused the breathalyzer. That's not good. do that you gotta give you gotta get breath or blood if you're under arrest for that so that's the law and he didn't want to do it they issued citations to
Starting point is 02:26:54 him he posted bond he was released obviously it's not his first dui here um he has been in and out of rehab. So September 25th in the 2019, he's good now. Yeah. Comes out and says he's clean, sober, and thankful to have made it to 30 years old. And now he's ready to turn his life around. It's all good.
Starting point is 02:27:15 He's fine. Oh my God. Yep. He said that, uh, I'm saying, he said, I'm thankful to have made it another year.
Starting point is 02:27:22 Grateful to be happy, loved, sober, and supported. Hashtag. Grateful to be happy, loved, sober, and supported. Hashtag God is good. Oh, Jesus. January 2020, he's getting in shape. He's cleaned himself up.
Starting point is 02:27:34 He's laser focused, he says. Jay Glazer told TMZ Sports that he's had an epiphany. Alden's had an epiphany and made a life choice to turn his life around, starting with joining Jay's Unbreakable Gym in West Hollywood. Jay is going to take him under his wing. Yeah, he turned it into a marketing thing.
Starting point is 02:27:57 Oh, God. That's pretty gross. He said he's helping him. That's fine. Yeah, but Jay saw that fucking yoga that DDP's doing. Oh, yeah. and he was like if i turn alden smith around fuck jake the snake roberts the amount of money i'll make yeah he said alden's great because alden's been working out with our military veterans in our mvp program
Starting point is 02:28:18 every single wednesday night albin's been sober for alden alden's been sober for a while and he's been helping a lot of our vets with their sobriety all righty um he said uh quote we've given a lot of guys second chances he deserves it as much as anybody i've ever been around no no jay this will be chance number 84 or some shit yeah no veterans with substance abuse problems because of like ptsd or other things that they're trying yeah those they deserve a lot this guy's had everything handed to him yeah he's had a second chance people have like hidden his bad shit and giving him all like he's had everything those guys haven't had they should be no their workout should be kicking him in the dick his second chance was in like 2008 yeah he had a lot of second chances at mizzou probably so jay said that he currently alden is 285 pounds and shredded called him a freak of nature he also talked about antonio
Starting point is 02:29:15 brown he wants to get antonio brown in there too he's trying to be the nfl's ddp yeah and he said that he is cautioned though because he said that brown needs to get himself some professional help before he can deal with getting himself in any kind of shape or worry about football. Antonio Brown's problem is not health. His health is fine. It's clearly between the ears. And, Jay, I don't think you're capable of that. Not the health of his legs or his arms, though.
Starting point is 02:29:40 That's the thing. He's not capable of that. Now, why is Alden turning it all around? To not be broke, to not be a fucking outcast of society, to not get arrested, to not go to prison. No, no. Because when his grandmother was sick with Lou Gehrig's disease, his grandmother had ALS and died a couple years ago. She implored him to change his life. So he's going to change his life uh heard she died
Starting point is 02:30:07 the year before and they said that he said that was the catalyst for him to get his handle on his alcohol issue and work his way into a better shape and earn reinstatement into the nfl he said the way i look at where i am now uh to who i was in the past i I was a young 12-year-old or teenage boy in a man's body. Okay. That's a very simple way to put it. He said, the way I handled those issues, life,
Starting point is 02:30:33 that was an immature manner. Mature or whatever he should have said, but yeah. With the time I've had to work on myself, it's allowed and given me the chance to grow into the man I am now, as opposed to the guy I was six months ago and for the previous 30 years.
Starting point is 02:30:50 You just had a you just got one. I'm good now, though. I know I'm not good then or good. I'm good right now. He said, I've had to work hard on myself and it's allowed given me the chance to grow into the man I am now.
Starting point is 02:31:05 So the man on the inside fits how the man on the outside looks. So, yeah. He said that she would always tell his grandmother, would always tell him to just do better. And he said, quote, that stuck with me. That, her passing, with me being totally defeated and surrendering to the problem I had with my drinking, I was ready to turn my life around. All right. He's ready.
Starting point is 02:31:27 He says he's in the process of applying for reinstatement to the NFL in March of 2020. Hasn't played in five years, by the way. Unbelievable. April 2nd, 2020, he is signed by an NFL team. Now are the Cowboys. Guess who? Of course the Dallas Cowboys. Why not? Hel helmet doesn't get any
Starting point is 02:31:47 silk more silver than that chief that's the way it works they love guys with duis oh man how does he say about they're like well you know are they taking a chance signing you and he says well not really no why you ask well quote if anybody is going to look deep i was never i never was physical with that woman and i just want everybody to know that i don't stand for being physical with women i'd like to make that clear as far as what i can do i can just continue to keep being the person who i've become and that's somebody who i'm proud of somebody that the cowboys thought it was good taking a chance on and somebody that the nfl thought was good taking a chance on i still feel great i still feel young i still move well yeah he's got no mileage on his legs he hasn't played
Starting point is 02:32:30 he's got the legs of a 23 year old at this point you're a barn find right now yeah you're a corvette that's just sitting in a barn for 10 years shammy the dust off it and it's beautiful it's gonna be ready to go motherfucker up change the oil filter and the gas and let's get going, bitches. So he said, yeah, continue to do all of that. Blah, blah, blah. I still feel young. I still move well.
Starting point is 02:32:53 I still have great knowledge of the game, if not a better knowledge of the game. I know how to be a leader. You have to be on the team to be a leader. I know how to win and also just everything. The fuck does that mean i've gone through uh i've gone through things and been through things in life i feel i can be a source people can talk to me about whatever they need so so you're gonna be the chaplain are you gonna play
Starting point is 02:33:17 oh my god well let's find out here here is um uh mike mccarthy who got hired by the cowboys at that point yeah jason jason garrett's gone yeah his path to dallas is special and unique he said i obviously have great great respect for him and what he's done on the field and then obviously he had a chance to witness what he's done on the field recently to put himself in this position very impressive young man. Okay. Wow. April 2nd, 2020, the NFL suspends Alden Smith again. He reacted to this by saying, I'm thankful, I'm blessed, I'm a cowboy. You're suspended. Terrific. They gave me a sweatshirt.
Starting point is 02:33:57 I'll be wearing it at home. Next time I get arrested, I'll wear that instead. What did he do this time? Nothing. They just suspended him for the last thing. Oh. He still has on the consequence line. He was suspended getting arrested while he was suspended.
Starting point is 02:34:11 That's another suspension now. So his contract can be worth up to $4 million, by the way, for one year. It includes no guaranteed money but does have $440,000 in bonus money. So that's sort of guaranteed. he'll receive $90,000 once he's reinstated 30 days after reinstatement he'll get another $50,000 he'll receive $100,000 when he shows up to training camp another $100,000 after two preseason games and $100,000 at the end of preseason his base salary will be $910,000 and he will get $40,625 every time he's active on the game roster, totaling $650,000. Then the incentives include $500,000 for eight sacks, $1 million for 10 sacks, $1.5 million for 12 sacks, and $2 million for 14 sacks.
Starting point is 02:35:03 Whoa. Yeah. So they said they met. Where did Mike McCarthy come to meet with him? On TGI Fridays? Jay Glazer's unbreakable performance gym. DDP style. He said, this is Alden Smith, quote,
Starting point is 02:35:20 when we met, it seemed like we had known each other about Mike McCarthy he said that was really important to me because going through the process I wanted to surround myself with people who felt I felt a connection with I felt he genuinely cares about me and what I'm trying to do just me as a man he said that obviously played a vital role
Starting point is 02:35:39 and Jimmy is there Jim Tomasula he was my coach when I was in San Francisco and we had a great relationship. The pieces just fit. So May 26, 2020, he's reinstated from his suspension. Yeah. Ready to go for the season. He's ready.
Starting point is 02:35:55 He said, God has blessed me with talent. And one of my talents is a natural gift to play ball, to be an athlete. So I still feel young. I don't have the mileage on my body i still feel great when i go to the gym i feel young and fresh so if anything i'm looking forward to what i'm going to be able to do out there um he said that he could definitely get another 19 and a half sack season no problem he said quote i'm an overall better person than i was back then i got i got 20 sacks 19 and a half i say 20 because it got 20 sacks. 19 and a half. I say 20
Starting point is 02:36:25 because it was 20. But it's 19 and a half, actually, Alden. I don't know what you're talking about. There was somebody else there, but... Wow. But I was able to play at a high level with a lot of other things going on in my life. With how life is for me now, I'm just looking forward to seeing what I can do.
Starting point is 02:36:42 My goal is to pick up right where I left off. When was that? What, getting arrested? That was a long time ago. That just means I always work hard, I always play hard, I want the same thing out of my teammates, and I'm sure those guys in the locker room feel the same way.
Starting point is 02:36:57 And with that mentality, the sky's the limit. I think as long as we do what we need to do, and everybody plays to their potential, anything's possible. He's also going to read to kids at this point. He says, by the way, this is an article that
Starting point is 02:37:13 says, awesome gesture from Alden Smith. The new Cowboy star says he's going to read to kids to help brighten their days. Real awesome. It's probably community service that he has to do. He said, it's just one way i can be a source of help it's alden story time is all part of a new charity initiative that was put together by workforce software ceo mike marini and jay glazer's merging vets and players program
Starting point is 02:37:39 marini tells us charity work is pretty simple key execs and athletes from all over the country are signing up to read stories and books remotely to children directly affected by coronavirus pandemic marini says alden along with a bunch of other athletes like andrew whitworth and robert griffin the third jumped at the opportunity when he presented it to them saying man they were all happy to do it and as for why alden tells us he understands just how big of an impact the small charitable act can have on kids. He says, quote, first thing that went to my head when I was a Tennessee Titans football fan, a Chicago Bulls fan, you know, I've always been a fan of sports and music. So I love all these singers and artists. So if any of them would have hopped on a
Starting point is 02:38:21 phone call or a video call and read a book, it's something I would remember. Well, yeah, no shit. We'd all like that when you're a kid. He said that he wants another shot at football. He says it's just going along with what I'm into and what I'm about. And that's using my time to help others. And I enjoy doing it. And if it can help others, that's just a plus. So this is one way I can be a source of help that's right 2020 cowboys on the field and training camp um tony romo said not tony romo it was dac prescott jesus christ uh he said quote damn sure doesn't look like he hasn't played in five years he's going to make us he's going to make all of us better what a great player um cowboys coach also said i would say that if you walked oh no that's right he said uh he didn't if he didn't uh prescott said i would say that if you walked away from
Starting point is 02:39:10 practice you'd say hey who the hell was 58 if you didn't know who he was because he's a monster out there mike mccarthy says alden smith is killing it in his workouts with the team he said that his skill set's extraordinary his return from the long layoff is impressive he said i'm very very happy with where alden is right now before as he also said alden's off to a very good start he's impressive still very impressive you can see his power and his length is extraordinary that sounds like a penis reference it does the power and the length of that the good he just said it's girthy and long yeah it's all of that shit so he looks great he looks great he's out there firing on all fucking cylinders cowboys go
Starting point is 02:39:53 six and ten that year because they're the cowboys obviously but he plays in all 16 games starts all 16 games wow only has five sacks uh but he does have a fumble recovery that he returned 78 yards for a touchdown and uh 31 solo tackles so not too fucking bad how little do i watch cowboys football i didn't even know he was back he was there well did you know april 15th his contract's up in a year that one year contract so he's a free agent april 15th 2021 he is signed by another silver-helmeted team the seattle seahawks oh is that right yes seattle seahawks you might not remember this for this reason though they signed him on april 15th april 19th 2021 st bernard parish sheriff's office issues an arrest warrant for alden smith for second degree battery oh no he'll surrender
Starting point is 02:40:45 two days later um released on a 25 000 bond apparently he was uh in a coffee place uh what is it the french press coffee house in new orleans which is no no yeah which is next in shaw shalmet which is next to a home depot in shalmet So he's in a strip mall in suburban fucking Louisiana. And they say the entire incident's captured on video. Yep. Quote, on the evening of April 17th, 2012, at the French Press Coffeehouse in Chalmette, Louisiana, Mr. Smith caused severe injuries to a male victim, causing injuries that warranted a state court judge to sign an arrest warrant. They, yeah, later on they say that apparently there was a bunch of other family members there, a bunch of his family.
Starting point is 02:41:35 He allegedly choked and knocked his guy unconscious. Holy shit. Yes, he choked him unconscious, didn didn't knock him unconscious he choked him out so that's dangerous he could have obviously murdered him at that point apparently a bunch of family members went to the talk coffee shop to talk to the husband of smith's pregnant sister after an altercation between the two so he and his sister his sister and his sister's boyfriend had a fucking altercation and the whole family decided to go to the place where he worked and confront him about it and alden choked him until he went unconscious which isn't really how you handle that when you bit that girl
Starting point is 02:42:14 and jumped out the window she didn't call her brother she called the police right so there you go um anyway he turns himself in a couple days later. He turns himself in there. He didn't look happy at all. He looked a little bit pissed off when they brought him in, obviously. Yeah, they said that anyone convicted of a charge of second-degree battery could be fined $2,000 or imprisoned with or without hard labor for not more than eight years or both. With or without hard labor? Louisiana! He could get eight years of hard labor for this.
Starting point is 02:42:51 Louisiana does not fuck around. No. The Seahawks release a statement. They say, Alden notified us and we're gathering more information. We have no further comment at this time. We're not saying a word. This episode should be called No Further Comment at this time. we're not saying a word this episode should be called no further comment at this time august 11 2021 the seattle seahawks release alden smith like i don't i don't think so so he's got some free time december 7 2021 he is involved in a two-car accident at 2 17 p.m in san
Starting point is 02:43:22 mateo valley someone suffers an injury in the crash and he is arrested on the scene um he is arrested and booked on felony charge of dui causing injury back at it again um yep apparently uh fifty thousand dollar bail the prosecutors released the detail saying that he had weed in his pocket and empty bottles of rum vodka and an open bottle of vodka in the car fuck jay glazer oh my god he rear-ended a vehicle that was stopped at a stop sign on the i-280 at around 1 28 p.m this happened day drinking again midday and then he told the person that he hit that he quote cannot have the cops here here's the thing i see your bone and i'm really sorry is that okay the guy was only minorly
Starting point is 02:44:14 injured so rather he said how about this rather than anything else i'll give you a thousand dollars for a ride away from here that way i don't get arrested and um the apparently when the cops arrived he refused to submit to a field sobriety test and refused to take a breathalyzer test also which is an automatic suspension of your license and all that kind of shit the guy he hit is suffering from pain in his back wrist knee leg and foot his rear ended um they get him in there his blood alcohol level jesus Christ, 0.20. How do you, in the middle of the day, man? That's what they said.
Starting point is 02:44:49 They think it's 0.20. Um, he's charged with two felony DUI charges and, uh, they believe that they, he was heavily intoxicated at the time of the incident. So he's charged with DUI with a blood alcohol content of greater than 0.15. Jesus Christ, man. Um, what a fucking mess so the uh prosecutors say open container of booze in the car at the time of the crash and he had weed in an open container too so i think he was smoking weed and drinking vodka as he drove that's nuts which is bad
Starting point is 02:45:16 allegedly and uh the other person involved in the accident minor injuries he faces up to three years in prison if he's convicted on the charges he's still that's ongoing still along with everything else can't get enough of alden smith well stick around he'll get arrested more this is not the end do you think this is the end i think he's i think that's the end of his playing career i think probably yeah he's 33 years old at this point he hasn't he's played one season in the last eight years seven years like what do you do at this point in a crime escalation life uh nobody's dead yet so yeah he can't stop you can't keep an eye on a guy 24 7 he's a professional the world doesn't set up for your employer to watch you for 24 hours a day like and he's an adult yeah these teams have to stop fucking signing him yeah because this is ridiculous at this point. Because if the NFL hires him again and he kills somebody, that is absolutely their fault.
Starting point is 02:46:10 Blood on their hands. They should be sued. They should be sued. Absolutely. They're fucking definitely. They're very aware of the problem. Culpable. Culpable, yes.
Starting point is 02:46:19 They very much have. Go ahead. Respond. No, no. I was going to say, no, no, no, not that. They're somethinging him they're no they're oh fuck yeah they're certainly encouraging what's the word when you're enabling thank you i'm like the official word of an alcoholic and you're letting him drink enabling enabling enabling definition of enabler i mean you said culpable
Starting point is 02:46:41 and all i could think of culpable and it's all like, God damn it, get culpable out of your fucking head. And I don't know, man. Jay Glazer did his best, I guess, to benefit from this. He did his best to really get some good PR out of this. So good for you, Jay. And he got his good PR. But he also enabled. For him, it's great because in all these articles, it didn't say Jay Glazer fucked up when he was doing great.
Starting point is 02:47:06 Failure. He got all the credit. But then when he doesn't do great, well, he's an alcoholic. What do you want? I can't fucking help it. Yeah. It's great. And that's what DDP has, too.
Starting point is 02:47:15 Jake the Snake could go out, smoke crack in the middle of the street and kill three small children. He goes, my guy was fucking crazy for 60 years. What was I supposed to do in two years? What do you want? He's an addict. Yeah, I don't know. The guy's a product of rape. What do you expect?
Starting point is 02:47:27 I kept him out of jail for a couple years, didn't I? That's what it would be. So either way, he's pretty fucked. Can't get enough weight for him. Or you can follow along with him on Twitter, at Aldon Smith, and he's Aldon Smith on Instagram as well. A-L-D-O-N Smith. And also, keep up on TMZ Sports,
Starting point is 02:47:47 because he'll show up there an awful lot. He'll be there soon. And just your local police websites, police blotters, mugshot sites, that sort of thing. He'll pop up in your town, maybe. You never know. But that, everybody, is Aldon Smith. And for such a young guy,
Starting point is 02:48:03 I don't know if we've had that concentration of crime and a guy who's not even 35 years old yet that's intense and who at the end of the show is still culpable and capable of doing more oh absolutely he's out there i mean this could there could definitely be some updates here this there's no fucking doubt about it so there you go everybody alden smith holy shit if you like that story tell everybody about it go give us a review if you want i don't care if you do or fucking don't at this point whatever don't if you don't fucking want to i don't really give a shit to be honest with you either way at this point so tell your significant other you had a nice day that's all
Starting point is 02:48:38 yeah to be nice to somebody don't bite anybody then jump out of a window how about do that instead uh head over to uh shut up and give me murder.com for everything all your merchandise especially tickets to the live show the virtual live show right october the 27th halloween themed spooky spectacular small town murder show is what it is it's gonna be great it's gonna be a lot of fun just like a live show we have the screen the pictures us at the table the whole deal except you'll be in your living room we'll be somewhere else and uh you can watch it for a week after that you can watch it 10 times a day for a week you can watch it oh you know six days after you order it do whatever you want but you get it for a week from december 27th to or october 27th for a week
Starting point is 02:49:19 after that watch it on halloween hang out with us for ha Halloween. Shut up and give me murder dot com. Follow us on social media. We are at crime and sports on Twitter and Facebook and at small town murder on Instagram, as well as you certainly, certainly, certainly want Patreon. Yes, you do. Patreon dot com slash crime and sports is where you get all the bonus stuff. Anybody five dollars or above a fucking cup of coffee. One cup of coffee. You're going to get like 150 back episodes of it, of the bonus to binge.
Starting point is 02:49:51 And every other week you're going to get two new episodes. That's right. Every damn time. One small town murder, one crime in sports. This week what you're going to get is for crime and sports. This week what you're going to get, we're going to talk about the Danbury Trashers, which is a minor league hockey team. Why would we care about a minor league hockey team?
Starting point is 02:50:08 Because it's awesome. It's awesome. There's a great documentary on it kind of to get your feet wet, but a mafioso bought his son a minor league hockey team and then ran it like a guy in the mob would run a fucking hockey team. Like, just no rules, just do whatever you want.
Starting point is 02:50:25 And then he also got in trouble, and they tried to take the team away from him. It's fucking crazy, and we'll talk about it. The whole thing's insane. And there's some wild sports shit, because that hockey team was nuts. They would just fight constantly. They were crazy. They hired criminals. They hired criminals on purpose just to fight.
Starting point is 02:50:41 You know how to ice skate? Johnny Ice Pick, you know how to ice skate? Maybe we'll call you Johnnyny ice skate from now on some of the most canadian voices you've ever heard with the most vicious behavior and wild stories of how they were that was encouraged and they give you bonuses for it then for small town murder we're going to talk about something we haven't talked about and it's been kind of out there since we started obviously podcasting we're going to talk about hayman lee adnan syed the whole serial saga less about the stuff that you all know already we know hayman lee's body was found and while we know all that stuff we're going to get into the details of it and get into who what are our theories of it what do you think since adnan was
Starting point is 02:51:21 just released what do we think happened do we think adnan did it do we think? Since Adnan was just released, what do we think happened? Do we think Adnan did it? Do we think this one did it? Do we think that one did it? I have my theory. Do you have a theory? Yeah, I think so. I have a pretty good theory, and so does Jimmy, and we're going to let them all hang out here. Where were Don's time cards? Come on, LensCrafters.
Starting point is 02:51:37 We'll get into all of this. Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports is where you get all of that stuff. And you get a shout out. When do you get a shout out? Right fucking now. Jimmy, tell me the list of people who don't get arrested every three weeks, don't jump out of windows with tequila bottles in their hand
Starting point is 02:51:54 and blood coming down the side of their mouth like a fucking vampire. Hit me with them now. This week's executive producers are Marissa Macaluso, Michelle Zabin, Annie King, and Harding and Catherine Clout. God damn it.
Starting point is 02:52:08 Thank you. I almost got it. There's only a few I couldn't get through. Wonderful, wonderful people. They're just wonderful, Jimmy. You were overcome with emotion. You were over-clemped. Other producers this week are Sal Amanda.
Starting point is 02:52:21 She says that Mike Carlo sucks farts, evidently. He's a bad person. Wow. Sucks farts, eh? I guess. That's a lot. Rear Admiral Nelson Steinschweiger, I think. Douglas C. Niedermeyer.
Starting point is 02:52:35 He's a sergeant of arms. Cody and Casey Ennis are celebrating their eighth anniversary. And she likes the show a lot. And she likes it when he mispronounces her name during intercourse. I don't know. Okay. I guess he calls her Cassie. I don't know.
Starting point is 02:52:51 Peyton Meadows, the WWE legend, the Shockmaster, Abe Schmuckler, happy hour at the Alligator Festival in Luling, Louisiana. Valerie Collins, Sarah DeLeon is not having an easy life at the moment. Hang in there. It'll get better, I swear to Christ. We're with you. Supreme Court Justice Hiram Smales. No, that's not real. Father of Judge Eliu Smales, evidently.
Starting point is 02:53:16 Oh. Happy birthday, big dick daddy boss man fucking sir. That's from his wife, I guess? That's a lot. He makes her say some awful things frank the south african bird washer uh steve chanel janice hill mod author uh billy hoyle tucker virtue very funny that is from a bonus episode corporal carl kirschner jesse jesse martin vigu i think. Darian McClurg.
Starting point is 02:53:45 Betsy Weeks. Peter Pissant Party Pants. Boy, oh boy. Kelly with no last name. Bethany Lawson. David Cervantes. Stephanie with no last name. John Starlin.
Starting point is 02:53:55 Josh Weintraub, I think. Lauren Herstek. Mike Mack. Joe Tugboat Kessling. Sylvia Perry. The Milkman OLC. Danny Shook, Ari Marie, Haley Spivey, Nasha Horn, Amelia Williams, Meryl Cairo,
Starting point is 02:54:15 Jimmy Take a Breath, I Will for just one, Haley Kirstein, Annika Woodward, Gail Perry, Aaron with no last name, Connie Hansen, Rebecca Ann Callis, Patrick Reynolds, Matthew Hess, Ann Norvio, Molly Chapman, Jamaica Taylor, Catherine McIver, Ben Beauchert, I think, Tracy Judy, Jennifer Petri, GFY, I guess that's go fuck yourself, Tori Gallet, Rebecca Pullman, Anush, oh boy, Nigo Sheehan. There you go. Ngo Sheehan? You got that. Brendan McKay, Matthew Ross, Christina Ledford, Chris Livingston, Selena Davis, David Griffin, Monique Hoffman, Linda McKinney, Michaela Copanera, David O., Paul Henderson, Lauren Hasey, I think GCSO Deputy Corey Mattson. I don't know what that is.
Starting point is 02:55:12 It's county. Could be anything. Garrison County. Who knows? Something County Sheriff's Office. That's what it is. That's how it's Sheriff's Office. Michael McCallion, Scott Coligan, Caleb Marvin, Amber Bach.
Starting point is 02:55:25 Okay, probably not. Brianna Walquist, Tiffany Wilson, Robert with no last name, Rand Mitchie, Chrissy DiMattea. It's Italian, is what it is. Anthony Adams, Jim and Nicole Bagai, Patty with no last name, Caleb's son, Serena Lasso, Tennessee Soup. You do well with consonants. You're not good with vowels, I've noticed. That's your problem. It's more when the vowels are bunched up, you go, oh, fuck, I don't know what to do with that.
Starting point is 02:55:54 What do I do now? Miranda Allen, Christy Gant, Heather Hunt, Jalinda Walker, Michelle Guerra, Dylan Sponseller, I think, Mackenzie Anderson, Jeff Ramsey, Dwayne Highfield, Irene S., Heather Morgan, Tanya Sanders, Jad Duca, Tay Lewis, Ashley Keepers, Alexandra Bennett, Preston Jones, Daryl Hunt, Tate Peterson, Kelly with no last name, Andrew Bentineau, Beneteau, Amanda Evans, Laysa Bingham, Tara Charles, Heather with no last name, Devin Higgins, Don Stiles Uppoli, Beth Krim, Jessica McConville, Sweez with no last name, Josh Engel, Christian Urie, Kelly Cute, Karen Rau, I think, Emily Larson, Michael Wetterlund, Paris Simmons, Alyssa Bartosiewicz, Peter McMorris, Chris with no last name, Carmen Ortiz, Alex McDonald, Chelsea Hill Smorgs with no last name, Jarrett Brown, Dylan Self, Caroline Bracey, Ash with no last name, Tyra Brown, Anthony Baker, Haley with no last name, Brad Trull, I think, Deirdre Hart, Mac with no last name. Brad Truel, I think. Deirdre Hart. Mack with no last name.
Starting point is 02:57:09 Patrick Millam. Melanie Jenkins. Antonio D'Onofrio. Joel Wheeler. Josh with no last name. Kayla Flack. Cassie Mendoza. Logan with no last name.
Starting point is 02:57:20 Robin, what is this? Robin, oh boy. Perry, Micah Niemela. No, I apologize. Aaron with no last name.hanie chantel don reed glenn slater amanda price ben van nort emily trumbo uh warren and mary douglas steven ward shem the wrench erica jacobson hover neck uh m and g nope that's just mg emily farrell farrell maybe david sutherland, Samantha Root, Elizabeth Lindhoff, Broken Tire, Camden Carter, Jennifer, I imagine that's from Boston, Chadwick Harper, Trepp and Gabbard, James, Connor Knapp, Lar Nicholas, Ginger Lee, Sarah Preffers, Juliet Vincent, Allie Weber, Jenny Bruce, Chey lindy litty i think lighty maybe shauna hollingsworth destiny wood steven vedura debbie girl frank e frankie frankie uh sarah murphy lapacky lapacky with no last name uh casey harack jim pearson trent johnson jamie perry james pierce
Starting point is 02:58:22 ivan solis zoe clark matt nace, Brad Hubble, and all of our patrons. You guys are amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much, everybody. You wonderful, wonderful bastards. We appreciate you. Thanks for all that you do for us over and over and each and every week. And keep coming back and listening and hanging out with us.
Starting point is 02:58:38 If you want to find us on social media, real easy to do that. Head over to ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com. There's links to all that shit right there. Or just look up Crime and Sports Podcast Hosts because we're the only goddamn ones out there. So do that. Keep coming back every week. More crazy shit next week as usual. And live from the Crime and Sports studios, we will see you next week. Bye.
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