Crime in Sports - #341 - Dinner Iguanas & Murder - Julio Machado

Episode Date: February 7, 2023

This week, we check out the life, career & crimes of a man who made himself immediately noticeable to his baseball teammates. But not because of any amazing baseball prowess, or anything like that, it was mainly because he had a very odd dietary requirement... Iguanas. His reasons for this pre-game feast were as strange as the meal itself. From there, he goes on to murder a woman, in the streets, and still wanted to be allowed to play in MLB. A strange man, some strange habits! What a story!Be the perfect Mormon boy, until you get to Dallas, tell everyone that your teeth hurt, and rummage through a college student's medicine cabinet for pills with Golden Richards!!Check us out, every Tuesday!We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!!  Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsports [e-mail] facebook.com/Crimeinsports instagram.com/smalltownmurderSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial at audible.ca. The Queen of the Courtroom is back. How did I know that? i have crystal ball in my head new cases leave her a long so uh this is not a so this is a period classic judy it's streaming you can say anything it's an all-new season judy justice only on freebie Hello and welcome back to Crime and Sports. Yay! Yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay indeed. My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host.

I'm Jimmy Wissman. Thank you folks so much for joining us today on another wild edition of Crime and Sports. And we have a crazy... This is nuts, man. We have people that do crazy things, but this is like one of those inexplicably crazy things where you're like, well, why would you do that? What the fuck is your problem? And this is one of those stories where I'm so happy we're continuing crime and sports in this way because it's not a story we could have told in the old like three-hour format. It just wouldn't have worked. It's too short, but it's crazy and funny and awesome, and we need to hear about it.

Let's get into it real quick. Before we do that, though, head over to ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com. Get your tickets. Cleveland, we're coming to you. February the 10th, Small Town Murder live. Come out there. Get your tickets right now. Still a few tickets left there. St. Louis, even

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You're going to get so much bonus material. You're going to get the whole back catalog, like 150 episodes. And every other week you are going to get two new episodes, one small town murder, one crime and sports. You get it all. This week for crime and sports, what we're going to talk about is Tencent Beer Night and how well that went. For the price of Patreon, you could have murdered yourself. An unlimited amount of beers this was for a dime a piece. So obviously by the end of the night, things were on fire. And it's clear

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Patreon.com slash crime and sports is where you get that and more, of course, all sorts of shit. So that said, let's get to it. What do you say? All right. All right. Let's do this, Jimmy. We got this week for you. There's a lot of name here.

This is quite the handle. Julio Segundo Machado Rondon. Julio Rondon. No, it's not. It's actually Julio Machado. He doesn't use the wrong. Julio Machado. Do you remember him at all?

No, but he sounds beautiful. Yeah. Julio Segundo Machado. That's majestic, isn't it? I like that a lot. That sounds pretty goddamn cool. But this guy here, weird thing with this guy because he's one of these guys that was barely around in baseball. Very short, but for some reason I remember him extremely clearly.

I could have had a sketch artist draw you up a sketch that would have had this guy caught in about three minutes. Yeah, he was a pitcher. And I don't know how because he barely pitched. It's so strange. Was he tall? No, six foot tall, not a big giant guy. But he pitched at the time. He pitched for a year for the Mets and a year for the Brewers, as we'll talk about.

And when he pitched for the Mets, it just happened to be a time that I was sitting in the house watching a lot of baseball at night. Really getting into the Mets. I hated the Mets, but it was just baseball was on. Sometimes you hate watching things. That was what was on. You'd switch between the Yankee game and the Met game growing up. That's just what you did as a kid if you liked baseball.

It's a commercial over here. That team loses. That's it right there. And if your team won, the other team lost, good day. Pretty good day. It's a good day. Solid afternoon. Watch the Yankees win.

Watch the Mets lose. Feeling good. Chicago fans like to do the same thing. Yeah, they do the same shit. This was back, though, in this time period when the Yankees and Mets were both more likely to lose that day. So after you watch the Yankees lose, you hope the Mets lose worse. This is all you do. So Julio, born December 1st, 1965, in San Carlos del Zulia, Venezuela.

Okay. Yeah, down there. This is over. I looked it up. It's over in far westernuela right before a crazy pan handle that this country had so the whole country's got a pan handle this is it looks like it's that got to be their florida and that's where he's from and uh has that place ever not been an entire pan handle well they have it together once that's it's been they've had some interesting things

happen there yeah and then since yeah you've had a lot of Chavez and everything down there there's been a lot going on in Venezuela for a long time but good baseball players come from Venezuela very often and they have winter leagues always down in Venezuela so yeah you get a lot of Americans go down there to play baseball in the winter

so he grows up down there now I don't know much about his background because it just wasn't said, and he spoke Spanish for the most part. So a lot of the Spanish guys that, like nowadays, the Spanish guy speaks some English and a lot of the reporters are bilingual. So you'll get, they talk to the Spanish guys a lot now,

whereas like back in the day, they just wouldn't talk to the Spanish guys for the most part like if they didn't speak english they would just be like well i don't know hope he does well they maybe that's why hockey doesn't translate in america because as as well as other things because how it's guys are all speaking russian yeah yeah the russian the french the dutch the fucking yeah all these different norway yeah the fins are in there a bunch of fleeting florton languages that we don't understand the reporters would be just they'd have to be super quadruple lingual it would be

tough because at least in in america like spanish their words are similar like you can pick up a couple of things those you know fleet and fruit and sheet fucking finish or something nobody knows what the hell they're talking about and then the russians and that eastern europeans i have no idea i just know he just grunted at me and i think he's mad i think i might have to fight this guy and seeing it written my whole head fucking oh god it's just what is that backwards fucking q's and how would you pronounce that eight z's in a word it wouldn't be z's is that in one word the word is mostly z's and k's i don't know how this is backwards k's y's and x's yeah how is this these are the words that they wouldn't that you wouldn't want on wheel on like a wheel of fortune scenario

you know like yeah these are the letters you don't want and these are the only ones you're getting in russia rst lne gets you nothing gets you nothing you're like so we have x z k x z backwards k sideways q and x in there. You want to solve? You got it or what? I want to die. That's what I want. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. All the letters lighten up. Oh, wow.

Okay. Well, that's pretty much the whole puzzle. I don't know. So back then, they just really wouldn't talk to a lot of the Spanish guys, literally. They just were like, I don't know. It was like Japanese guys when they, you know, the first few Japanese guys that came, they really wanted to talk to Ichiro. They really did, but it was like, I don't know guys that came, they really wanted to talk to Ichiro. They really did.

But it was like, I don't know. They have like a one-sentence interview with him. He said he likes to be in America and, you know, hitting is very good. And I'm like, thanks. That's great. That's what he said, really? That's what you got? Young Kim cried.

I want to know why, but I don't have the capacity. Nobody could. They just looked at him and went, wow, I wish I spoke Korean. Everyone in the locker room was like, damn it. If only I spoke Korean, this would be a lot easier. So much easier. I could have the scoop. I could be the only person that knows why he cried.

Nope, not me either. Not me. God who gots over here. So, yeah, if you just spoke Korean, you could have the scoop over there. Remember that when he cried on the mound? That was wild. That was crazy. Because he looked so cried on the mound? That was wild. That was crazy. Because he looked so young, too, because he was young.

He was like 20, 21, and he looked like he was, I don't know, 11, 12. 16. Right? He did. He looked like he was 11, 12 because he was a tiny little guy, too. He was. Small and thin. Like 5'6".

Looks like, hey, he's going to fill out one of these days, little guy. He looked like this tiny little guy, and he threw some pitches. His grandmother would have fed him. Oh, absolutely. Muck him in right here. She would have absolutely been scooping extra fucking rigatoni on his plate. Extra ziti for him. So, yeah, that guy, and then he's standing up there and crying,

and other bigger guys are coming, putting their arm around him, and it's like, oh, little guy. You're making him look smaller, guys. You, little guy. Yeah, it was just sad you just watched it was like a kid that melted down on the mound in little league only this was on television it's fucking terrible awful that poor guy so he julio our guy here he goes from venezuela he plays a lot of ball in venezuela um by the way he born in 65. December 1st, 65 is when he's born.

And by 85, he's signed as a free agent with the Philadelphia Phillies. 20 years old. Yeah. And the draft rules in baseball are a fucking myriad of – it's a kaleidoscope of a hallway, of a maze. It's really murky. You have to draft certain players, but certain people from other countries can just be signed. And then some guys have to have a formal bidding process from other countries. It's a very complicated. Lots of gray areas.

Lots of gray areas in terms of who needs to be drafted and who's not. But he's a free agent here. They signed him as a free agent, which they would sign a lot of guys from the Caribbean, South America, Latin America, all that kind of shit back then. And they send him right away to Spartanburg. So from Venezuela to Spartanburg, Pennsylvania, that is a wow. That's going to be a culture shock for you. Just holy shit. Wow. Why is asking people in Spanish, so cheese is on everything. Okay.

They just put that nacho shit on everything we got. What is a Wawa? Yeah, I don't know. God, Wawas are great. Yeah, they are. They have good sandwiches. They have great coffee cups that last for fucking ever. Oh, yeah, people gave us those awesome cups.

They stay forever. The label, gone. The thing is amazing. Still works perfect. A couple times ago when we went there, I stayed. My hotel was directly across from a Wawa. The front door of the hotel was directly across from a wawa like the front door of the hotel was you know 40 feet from the wawa so at three o'clock in the morning i could

on a whim go down and get a fucking sandwich which is dangerous and i loved it so much i was eating so many 4 a.m sandwiches at the time we were there i loved it fantastic most new york philly guy ever i fucking love it it's It's right there. Philly and New York, it's funny that they even have a rivalry because they're basically suburbs of each other almost. They're right there.

They're so close to each other. It's great. It's like, it takes like 45 minutes longer to get to Philadelphia than it does to get to the city from my house. It's like,

it's right there. Yeah. It's two hours from, two hours it took me to get home from Philly last time. We's right there yeah it's two hours from two hours it took me to get home from philly last time we were there yeah i mean that makes sense because newark's right on the other side is it newer whatever jersey is right on the other side of the fucking bay what is that southern yeah that's over there but it's right on different sides of jersey right on the river and then on the other side of that river is just fucking new york it's

right there there's a straight shot to go. It's very easy. So anyway, he's in Spartanburg. Poor guy. So we'll go over. He doesn't have a lot of stats, so we'll go over him. His first year here, he's 19 years old when he first gets there. And he goes 4-5 with a 4-32 ERA, which isn't terrible.

Pitches 81 innings. I mean, this is a ball. It's, you know, This is just get out there. See what a guy's got. 71 strikeouts, 38 walks, which is a very good... That's a 2-1 strikeout-to-walk ratio almost, which is very good for a 19-year-old

pitcher. That's good control so far. Yeah, does pretty well for himself. Worth signing anyway. Next year, they keep him in Spartanburg again he goes two and five but lowers his era to 373 he's a relief pitcher so win losses are really a lot of times not really you can't help what you're getting into in a game they put you in a you're down six runs well yeah you won't get the loss at that point but you can't help momentum and what

happened before you and what's going to happen after you is the other thing too so you can leave two runners on base and another pitcher comes in after you another reliever gives those up those go to you you get the loss and you're like that's your problem fuck yeah so there's a lot that you can't help when you're a relief pitcher in terms of stats even with era so 81 strikeouts 52 walks so not quite as good this year but still doing well um so 87 they put him in a Clearwater Florida which is a little more at least it's warm there for him and then and uh I don't know if anyone tried to make him a Scientologist or what while he was there but he's in he's in clear water uh nicer cleaner tampa nicer tampa is not that's not good no i heard the best description of tampa from fucking the mystery science theater 3000 guy mike nelson goes come come to Florida. Enjoy our oppressive humidity and trash-strewn harbors.

And I was like, yeah, that's Tampa. Oppressive humidity and trash-strewn harbors. That's what we got. And the place is like a fucking magnifying glass. Like somebody's burning ants and we're the ants because it it's it's crazy with that sun up there down there out there does over there up your ass it's gross yeah it turns you to leather turns you right to leather so he goes from clear water and uh there he's two and oh with a 286 era so he's killing it there. So they send him up to AA, Redding, and we often say AA is where the talent is.

That's where they put in all the prospects. There he has a.474 ERA in 21 games, so 108 innings pitched. His strikeouts and walks are getting better, though. 89 strikeouts, 40 walks, very good. 88, they start him in single A again. So he keeps kind of going back and forth and back and forth. Does well in single A, 295 ERA. And then they send him up to double A, and he has a 543 ERA.

So he seems to be hitting a wall at double A. But the next season here, the Phillies agree. In the beginning of spring training, March 3rd, they release him. Oh, he's done. So March 3rd, 89, he's released by the Phillies. They saw exactly what we just saw. They look at the stats. They go, does well in single A, bring him up to double A, gets rocked.

So there's a ceiling, and that's what they do. Bring him up here. It's going to be ugly. It's going to be ugly it's going to be ugly but the mets pick them up and the mets were a real tire fire of an organization what they they really were like you had those mid-80s teams the 86 team that won the world series 85 they were good 86 they were good 87 88 these are playoff teams then you get to your 89 90 91 mets and you get to you know last place mets they're

terrible and you know kevin mcreynolds is their big star and it's not great not great mac mackey sasser can't throw the ball back to the pitcher it's an issue so they're looking for anything they can find uh they by the way the mets during this time had two guys I love. They had Frank Viola and Sid Fernandez. Two chubby, two big fat left-handers with looking cool wind-ups. I like a fat lefty.

There's just something about a fat left-handed person is not playing any other professional sport. They're just not. But for some reason, they can like the hardest thing in the world throw this little ball exactly where they want make it to make it do shit that it you know that it shouldn't do against physics and also get it past guys who are on tons of fucking drugs so while it's impressive jamming giant fucking piles of food down their face yeah yeah i love

that sid fernandez frank viola david wells there's a lot of these fat lefties i like i like a picture was he yeah he's a lefty but sabathia is so fucking big like he's fat but he's also big like he's just a lot of man he's a lot of dude like he's got those tree trunk ankles he's one of those guys who's gonna be fat no matter what he's not gonna be when he lost a lot of weight, it looked weird. I was like, oh, CeCe, what the hell happened? You look like Al Roker now. That same Al Roker droop in his face.

That droop. I worry. Every time I see him, I worry. About Al? Yeah. Poor Al. It doesn't look good. It looks sick.

It looks like a disease you have to aggressively treat. Yeah. And he's healthy. It's almost like we need to be able to make deals with the afterlife of people. Like, hey, listen, let's just let Al be fat and not kill him for that, right? Yeah. We're all more comfortable with fat Al, so let Al be fat. Let's not every joke be like oh like al roker all right just

yeah oprah got skinny we're gonna we're not doing that anymore no there was so many and then she got i mean that was a good 20 year bit that people did though oprah's fat oprah skinny oprah's fat oprah skinny although she was like she would come out and be like look at me i'm skinny and then she'd have another show about how fat she was a big deal about deal about it. Yeah, so there's a lot to talk about. Al just pops on, does the weather, and then people are like, oh my God, he's skinny again. And then it's news. Yeah. Look at that.

He didn't even mention it. He just told you it's 35 Minneapolis. That's it, 35 Minneapolis. I like how pudgy this guy is. He looks like he had like three sausages for lunch. I like that. Looks like he had a big breakfast that guy. That's good.

So now Julio has good stuff. That's the thing. Usually you got a guy that's 22 and got good stuff. You try to figure it out. You put him with good coaches in the minors. You know, you work on it like that. The Phillies were just like, nah, never mind. And the Phillies at this point, they were loaded because think about it,

they'll be in the World Series a couple times in the next, you know what I mean? So they're getting good at this point. But Mel Stottlemyre, who's the pitching coach for the Mets, said, it was real surprising the Phillies released a guy with that kind of arm. He had good pop. I had heard he had a good arm, but this is the first time I saw him in a game. And he's talking about he's got a good slider. He's got a good fastball.

He's like, hard slider, good fastball. That's, you know, I don't know what the hell you're releasing that guy for. Give him a chance. I don't know if he's pitching. Yeah. I mean, look at him. He was a good pitcher, and even his son was a pitcher there. So the 89 Mets are 87 and 75.

So this is their last kind of good year and then it starts to go bad here davy johnson still the manager so they still have that going on but the team is way different like this is not 86 mets was like gary carter lenny dykstra you know fucking daryl strawberry all these guys this lineup is barry ly catching oh yeah if you're unless you were watching those games because you were bored at you know i'm watching them on wor had on channel nine bored out of your mind you wouldn't know it's not even the good lions no that guy's name steve steve steve lion yeah he was just an announcer though he was a better one he was like a pinch hitter he was so much fun to just watch him be dumb, though.

He was a fucking idiot. He was a fun guy to watch. He was an idiot. He was like a guy they, if there was such a thing as stupid pills, it looks like they made him take them before each broadcast. Yeah. And then just as they were like, five, four, he's like, I'm feeling pretty stupid. And then he just started talking.

That's Steve Lyons. I knew his daughter. Really? Because this was a Diamondbacks announcer in phoenix so he she was embarrassed of him too she obviously but she's like he seems like to watch the real stupid stuff he seems like the most embarrassing dad ever like for a teenager to have because he's like he's the most dad dad who's ever dad like he's just imagine that guy coming to your school goofy with bad jokes and shit all this slides into first his dick falls out all this because one dumb highlight of his entire career of him sliding in and pulling his pants down to his knees to get the dirt out of his underwear then i suppose i don't know if he

did it i think it was an act anyway i think he was full of shit it's gotta be either way pretending or not pretending to go oh my god i'm in front of a lot of people why'd i take my pants down even though he had the long you know underwear he had like bike shorts on it wasn't like he was in a fucking jock strap with his left nut hanging out his dick's not flopping. No, he couldn't see anything. He had shorts on, but he pulled them up all fast and was like, oh my god. And this has got him a career as a broadcaster.

Fuck out of here with that shit. Your ass. I mean, I'm sure it didn't make him that much money, but still it kept him from being homeless. Kept him from fucking working at an insurance company. That's what it did. Kept him paying child support. He's talking about baseball for a living. That's a big difference than, you know, nine to five in it, isn't it?

Yeah, for sure. So Dave Magadan also on these teams. Remember Dave Magadan? Played for the Marlins later. Super boring left-handed first – or left-hand – right-handed. I think he was a left-throwing, right-hitting or the other way. No, left-hitting, right-throwing first baseman if I recall. Amphibious son of a bitch.

Amphibious bastard here. Greg Jeffries. This was his like first full year. You don't remember Greg Jeffries? Christ, he was around. Greg Jeffries played for fucking 20 years I think. Wait, did he play for the Brewers? his like say first full year you remember greg jeffries christ he was around jake greg jeffries played for fucking 20 years i think he played for the brewers he played for everybody he played for literally like 18 teams i'm not even kidding i think one of them i'm sure yeah yeah his baseball

his rookie card was a big deal i remember kevin elster at shortstop uh howard johnson still there ho joe oh you remember him power johnson switch hitting power hitter the expos james hojo kevin mcreynolds juan samuel daryl strawberry still had like your mookie wilson tim tuffles and those guys david cone sin sid fernandez ron darling bobby ohito dwight gooden rick aguileraera, Frank Viola, Randy Myers. Christ, I remember this team very clearly. Roger McDowell, another lefty there. So, yeah, a lot of these guys.

So September 7th, though, Julio's a September call-up. So he does so well over the course of the season for the Mets that he's in the list of 20 guys or so they're going to call up. So good for him. Makes his first major league appearance September 7, 1989, and he does really well. They like him a lot. He was up in AAA for a little while, but then he gets brought up here,

and he was brought in to finish a 13-1 game, and they were very impressed with what he did. They said that Machado's first major league pitch was up and in. Kind of pushing a guy off the plate. Yeah, he brushed a guy off. His first pitch was back off the plate motherfucker, which is cool.

And Machado said, I did it on purpose. Yeah, he was coming in going, I'm not afraid of you motherfucker, get back. He said, I wanted to make him move back a bit. yeah he was yeah he was coming in going i'm not afraid of you motherfucker get back he said i wanted to make him move back a bit um yeah they said that they in the paper they said this is a news day he's got chutzpah so oh yeah it's the long news day it's long island so this is the nassau county edition as well so that's the very Long Island. They're like, how do we translate this Venezuelan man to our readers? He's a little mashugana, but he's got chutzpah, so we're going to let him go.

I like it. A bit of a snur in the clubhouse, you know. You should have seen the Little Italy edition. He ain't too fucking bad. It was a very short article. This kid, I'm telling you, he ain't fucking bad. Very good. So Machado struck out Tom Pagnozzi, which was the first batter,

got the next batter on a ground out, and then walked Todd Zeal, and then struck out the next batter. So he ended up getting out of the inning, having a pretty good time. He said that, I didn't feel nervous. I didn't feel nothing. That's what he said. He felt shit. He came out there with the stone-cold nerves of an assassin.

That's what he's trying to tell you. Hitting the nothing like he's born here. Yep. Didn't feel nothing. I think it might have been in Spanish also. I'm not positive. They just translated it. Is there a Spanish nothing?

Yeah, I think it's just I didn't feel nada, man. That's what he said. But he put some stank on it, you know. Put a little chutzpah on it, you know what I mean? He's mixing it up. Yeah. He said also his teammates were saying he pitched really well, and the fans are going to love him now.

He's going to be great. Yeah, he's going to be fantastic. They said the manager from AAA, Tidewater for the Mets, said he went from being released to A-ball to the majors. You don't see a lot of right-handed hitters getting comfortable against him. I think he is deceptively wild. So he thinks he's wild on purpose. He's crazy like a fox.

He knows when he's trying to act wild to get guys to not be, you know, get their feet dug in too much here. So they say also because of injuries and because Randy Myers wasn't pitching real well, they said he might be like a factor for a pennant race here. This guy might be the bullpen difference in a pennant race. And they said that he's up here because he was impressive in the minors. We're happy. He ends up going.

Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead. What were you going to say? We're going to ship Randy Myers to Cleveland for this shit. Well, Randy Myers ends up a lot of places. Left-handed relievers can pitch forever. Yeah, Cleveland for this. Yeah, well, Randy Myers ends up a lot of places. Left-handed relievers can pitch forever. Yeah, good for them. Raise your children to be left-handed relief pitchers.

I'll just say that. Or kickers. Or kickers. That's the greatest thing ever. I remember Rod telling me repeatedly, man, I wish I was left-handed. He goes, I'd fucking play until I was 60 if I was left-handed. He goes, you need to break 80 miles an hour, have a little bit of craftiness, get one guy out, and you can stay in the league forever.

It's fucking awesome. If I'd have been smart, because being small, fuck, man. If I'd have been smart, I would have just done leg day every day and practiced kicking. Kicking, kicking, kicking. Just do it all day. And Mason Crosby quietly became the point leader in history for the Packers. 20 years or something? I didn't even realize he'd been there that long.

No shit, because they're just blending into the wallpaper up there. But the point leader, because they tack a point on all the time. He's got camouflage on. He's back in those forests. You can't even see him. Back there ice fishing. His uniform isn't even the team's uniform. It's just camo. It car heart camo it's just

camo car heart out there so they don't see him very often he comes in the ball flies you're like someone kicked it i don't know who it was it's like the predator another point to crosby jesus yeah i think like the top 20 point scorers are all yeah they're all yeah they they rack them up yeah yeah jan steneroot is probably still up there, I'm sure, in the top ten. I don't fucking know. These guys just hang around so fucking long. Morton Anderson, Gary Anderson. Yeah, yeah.

All the Andersons. They never have any risk to their life or health. No, not really. They don't really get hit. Fuck, man. Yeah. Keep your leg healthy and you're good. Unless they get like a heart condition or something, they're pretty good for the duration,

honestly. Or you miss four field goals in a playoff oh then you're done you're done so uh 89 he pitches 11 innings overall for the mets gives up nine hits in 11 innings so that's good 14 strikeouts in 11 innings as compared to three walks which is great for a relief pitcher uh 327 era this this is looking good like they're like this guy's gonna be on the fucking roster next year like he did really really well um he said julio at the end of the season said that he's gonna play at the mets instructional league in the offseason and work on his slider that's gonna be his his thing so it'll work on the slider he said that he's uh

been throwing too many fastballs, but he wants to be in New York next year. He says, I want to be here. I know they're looking for a right-handed stopper. The wait is over. So far, you're not losing. The only thing you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that. Ding! The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything. You wouldn't do anything. You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything. I can fix that.

New cases. She wanted to fight me. Leave her alone. Okay, so, um... This is not a so. This is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor. You is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin.

His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am. I would make a beeline for the door. The Emmy Award winning series returns. How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head. It's an all new season.

It's streaming. You can say anything. Judy Justice. Only on Freebie. Taylor Swift is soaring high, her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans. She's broken billboard records and made Grammys history, not to mention becoming a billionaire in the process. But along the way, Taylor has had to wage war,

first by taking on a very powerful, very famous manager, Scooter Braun, and then by going up against the biggest live events company, Ticketmaster. Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery's show Business Wars. We go deep into some of the biggest corporate rivalries of all time. And in our latest season, Taylor Swift will shake up not only the music business, but Hollywood and the NFL. Follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So 1990 comes around. He pitches for the Mets. But then on September 7th, 1990,

comes around. He pitches for the Mets but then on September 7th, 1990 he is traded by the Mets. There's value in a young relief pitcher. It is the Mets sending Kevin Brown, not that Kevin Brown that pitched later on for the Dodgers and Yankees. A different Kevin Brown.

I think he was a pitcher but a different Kevin Brown. A brown Kevin Brown he was. Not that Kevin Brown. And Julio Machado to the Brewers for a player to be named later. And Charlie O'Brien, the curly haired catcher who they brought in because Mackie Sasser couldn't hit the fucking broad side of a barn. So 1990 Brewers are 74 and 88. So not very, not very good. Tom Treblehorn, the manager. This is the B.J. Surhoff.

Jesus Christ. Greg Vaughn. They had a couple exciting young players. Greg Vaughn, Gary Sheffield, Robin Yount is still there. Rob Deere is there, who is a.220 hitter that hits a lot of home runs. That year he hit.209 with 27 home runs not bad rob deer 209 is terrible it's very bad that's not good at all but when he hits it it's going out with 147 strikeouts and only 440 at bats that's not great that man's swinging for the fence every time he he was dave kingman like a little not as good. Dave Parker they had then, too. Holy shit. Paul Molitor still on the team. So that's kind of cool. Guys like that. Terry Francona on that team. So that year, Julio total Mets and the Brewers together. He has a 247 ERA with a four-1 record. Not too bad. 37 games pitched.

He has 47 innings, only 41 hits, 39 strikeouts, 25 walks. Like, this guy's going to be. Making the Phillies look dumb. Oh, yeah. I mean, he's an effective reliever. Fuck, he's got an ERA under.250. He can't sneeze at that. That's really good.

And for Milwaukee, he didn't pitch much for only 13 innings he had three saves they made him their closer he had three saves and a 0.69 era so uh god damn it not too shabby um he also has a strange uh delicacy that he likes to eat here um oh god he did i'm so nervous okay he really likes what do you think he likes to eat pick a weird thing and and muscles muscles are delicious what are you talking about it's it's a strange thing to pick in fucking milwaukee yeah no muscles are good so if that's like a thing that like you have to have like anything seafood is going to be bizarre right oh god no it's not seafood it's definitely a land animal let's say that rabbit no that's normal um iguanas he likes to eat iguanas well good luck finding that in fucking milwaukee the good part is they're all over the place in florida and they're in florida for spring training i think at one point when he was with the mets they're all over the place in Florida. And they're in Florida for spring training, I think, at one point.

When he was with the Mets, they're in Florida for spring training. So word gets around that he likes to eat iguanas. Oh, my God. Yeah. The problem is when he was in spring training in Florida that you could find them. Yeah. But when they're in Milwaukee. Yeah, you got to get that at PetSmart.

He had to have a. Oh don't say it he had a clubhouse guy oh my go to the pet store oh my god before the games and get him three iguanas i'm not kidding jimmy three iguanas and i think barbecues them in the parking lot what he makes him he told one of the clubhouse guys why by the way did he like them besides we'll get into they taste good and all that kind of shit because he said that he said quote they look like little fucking dinosaurs man it's like eating Ankylosaur. I always wanted to eat an ankylosaurus. When I was a kid, you go to the Museum of Natural History, you see the stegosaurus, and you're like, he looks delicious. What the fuck?

Look at the thighs on them. They look like they got a lot of meat. Too bad these are extinct. I'd love to eat these. Next closest, iguana. They look like little fucking dinosaurs, man. It's like eating a dinosaur. You know, they also have like a hot bar in most grocery stores.

You can just go get like a rotisserie chicken and just eat it. Like it's not. This is wild. Everywhere has chicken wings. Just pretend. Yeah. And he told his teammates, I like to eat. I like iguanas.

And they were like, okay. Like, that guy has snakes. That's cool. And he's like, no, no, no. Literally, he said, no, no, to eat. I like iguanas. And they were like, the fuck are you talking about? This is Milwaukee.

You're in burger and cheese curd country. You know what I'm saying? Grab a kielbasa or something. Grab yourself a big sausage and a knockwurst and a fucking bratwurst. Not an iguana. It's not a Ruby Tuesday. You know what I don't see on this menu is your iguana. What's that selection like tonight?

Is there like just a scaly jungle animal section I'm not seeing? I'm not seeing. The price is fine. I'll i'll pay whatever i mean whatever you gotta do i i don't see any boa constrictor on here either so i don't even want to look at the wine list if this is your menu let's just say that i i feel like it's lacking right up front what are you by a pound for the python? This is crazy shit. At Small Town Murder, we had the goddamn fucking peacock tacos and emu burritos. We had picacos and emurritos. How is he preparing these?

Is it just like on a stick? I think just with a bick, probably. Like in Scenoman with the frog? Yeah, I think so with a bick probably. In the clubhouse. Like in Scenoman with the frog? Yeah, I think so, honestly. So he said, quote, they call me the iguana man. All right, well. That's not digging very deep, but all right.

The iguana man. That's what his friends called him, or the teammates all called him the iguana man. He would eat them. The thing is, he said they were in Venezuela. They're all over the place so people just you just grab them and eat an iguana i don't know if you just bite the head off and start munching on it or what right picking on this raw like picking a citrus fruit i'm not sure how it works but he said they were super easy to you know get a hold of in florida they had iguanas

and shit too but not in mil. So he was very disappointed. They said, well, why do you eat them other than them looking like little fucking dinosaurs? And he said, they taste good. They taste like chicken, but better than chicken. I don't understand. And at one point he said, real men eat iguanas. I'd rather be not. I'm fine with this.

Have you ever grabbed one? They wriggle so much. Those tails will cut you. They're dangerous. My stepfather had a couple of iguanas and one escaped from its cage at one point. Oh, my God. And we thought it was just dead in the house, gone forever. We were like, well, I guess that's gone. gone and then a month later and when he lost it it was still young a month later

in their bedroom it was on the fucking mini blinds on the door going out to the patio just hanging out and it was like 12 times the size it was before it was a terrifying monster that was in the fucking house now a terrible jimmy it was terrifying the thing probably it was a terrifying monster that was in the fucking house now Jimmy it was terrifying the thing probably it was the size of a cat it was fucking huge a month after it gets out now it's a wild animal

it has learned I remember it whipped him one time and cut his hand it whipped him with the tail it was fucked up but at the other point one time it got colder than they thought outside and they thought they were dead but then an hour later they came back to life so there's that they thought out yeah it's like a fly yeah yeah they'll thaw out it was just frozen and we're like oh no yeah the temperature in phoenix was supposed to be this temperature but it was 10 degrees colder than it was.

And I guess he didn't put them in whatever. I don't know. I don't have iguanas. I have no idea. But it came back. It was pretty wild. He's like, oh, the iguanas are dead. And an hour later, I was like, your iguanas aren't dead.

They're alive. Good news. It can cut your hand again. Yeah, good. Here, grab them. He's going to hit you. So I looked up, what the fuck's up with iguanas? People eating iguanas?

Is this a weird thing? Is this just him? Is he nuts? Or are people eating iguanas, people eating iguanas. Is this a weird thing? Is this just him? Is he nuts or is this our people eating iguanas all over the place? So there are articles about and these are recent, too. There's articles all over the place from 2020, 2022. Here's one. Iguanas are an invasive species in Florida and experts have seen an increase in population over the last several years. Whether it's to help with population control or if people just find them downright tasty,

reports have been popping up across the state about people eating iguanas. That's vile, man. Yes. If you need it to survive, if you're in a country or somewhere that doesn't have a lot of accessible food and you're eating iguanas to survive that's hey you know what shit people eat groundhog in West Virginia as we found out for breakfast for breakfast but

in Florida go to the fucking Publix what is wrong with you what is wrong with you this is not I can't man I can't see it I don't know how you do it do you make tacos do you make stir fry what are you doing with it what's the recipe shall we find out because i got recipes i have recipes full-on iguana recipes how does he recommend i make this

hey everybody we're here at iguana charlie's down here in Fort Lauderdale. I'm going to try something crazy. They've been trying Iguana Burger. I hear they're wild. I don't know. Cook them on a stick, put them on a burger, whatever, man. Let's do it. So you must be Iguana Charlie. Is that right? Well, Guy.

Get all the seasoning on. They go to town first thing we're gonna have you do guy is we're gonna have you uh we're gonna have you kill it so come over here guy what i'd like you to do is now grab a firm firm yeah grab him firm around the top shoulders that's right you don't want to be in the swing of the tail so that's right now here here's a now here's an eight pound mallet now just smash his head till it's flat like salami and then we'll get into this all right i've smashed his head he's on the grill can't wait for the burger he's got iguana blood all over his chest it's just all in his fucking white hair and goatee. Iguana blood flecks fucking goatee now.

He's wearing the scales like a mohawk. Wearing it like a tiara. I've dominated nature and have the scales of my fallen foe upon my head like a tiara while I wear his blood on my goatee. Can't wait to see how delicious he is. Iguana Charlie, take it away. Tell me how you're going to make this. Fucking ridiculous. I'll have the Iguana burger with a side of fries.

They're just fried Iguana legs, the fries. They get crispy when you fry them up. Oh my God. I'm horrified. It says in this article, South Florida resident Brittany Peters is one of those people. Oh, I'm sure she's a blast. Quote, I like to promote eating what you harvest and know a lot of people kill iguanas since they are a nuisance.

And I wanted to cook and eat them, hoping to encourage those who kill them to also eat them so iguanas breaking your balls in the backyard kill them and then eat them um okay just killing it's a waste of a waste of boots and food it's so fucking weird and then under this there's links to other articles by the way in, in the middle here. These other articles are iguana-based as well. See, experts see incredible increases in South Florida iguana population. The next article is, watch out for falling iguanas in Florida. Reptiles immobilized by cold weather. Like I said, they, like, die.

And then Florida woman finds iguana hiding in her toilet. That would be worse, yeah. Good God. So then they say, hunting and eating green iguanas is a cultural practice for many countries in South America and Central America. According to National Geographic, the species has been declared endangered in some countries because they have been eating the iguanas for such a long time. They're eating them out of existence there. Iguanas are referred to as the, quote, chicken of the trees by iguana eaters. No, no, that's not it.

That's not it. No. So does that make possums the chicken of the double yellow? What the fuck? No. And the armadillo? Yeah. Chicken of the double yellow? What the fuck? No. And the armadillo? Yeah. Chicken of the interstate?

Chicken of the fucking shoulder? What are we talking about? Chicken of the trees. Chicken of the trees. I'm impressed with the good pun. That's not bad. That's interesting. Many people enjoy the meat from iguanas because of the high levels of protein it provides.

Well, yeah, I think that's what meat does. Cockroaches probably have protein also. I'm not eating them either. Christ, no. I don't know what they, I guess they eat lettuce. Iguana meat is pretty lean meat and it contains more protein than chicken. Great. Okay.

Terrific. It's legal to kill iguanas in Florida, but state law requires that the killings be done in a humane manner. What the fuck does that mean? Well, it's Florida. They do some, somebody is doing it with M80s. I guarantee it. That's probably considered humane. I just think they're, in Florida, that's humane in Florida, right?

I think they're trying to avoid some coastal bar having an iguana splatter night where you throw an iguana against the wall. You tie its legs to four dogs. Tie its legs to four chihuahuas and see what happens. Let's do it. All right, then. Woo, Daytona Beach. Tie its legs to four chihuahuas and then let a pit bull out. Now, if it don't work, if the chihuahuas don't get scared and pull all its legs off, the pit bull will eat the chihuahuas and the iguana anyway.

So in the end, the iguana will die. One way or another, we're going to see some fucking gore tonight. It's iguana death night. One way or another, we're going to see some fucking gore tonight. It's iguana death night. Experts recommend shooting iguanas with pellet guns, stabbing them in the brain. Good Lord. Just grab them and stab them in their heads or decapitating them without having them suffer. Dear Lord, man.

Yeah. I mean, as for cooking them, them well they say like any other meat you can fry them up you can because some people take the skin off and kind of just fillet them and lay the meat out and fry it like that you can roast them you can boil it up if you want to be british i guess i don't know you a lot of people like to skewer them do a grill skewer deal with the legs coming off and some people of course because it's the south people like to skewer them, do a grill skewer deal with the legs coming off. And some people, of course, because it's the South, they like to deep fry them, obviously. How unhealthy can we make it?

It says it's a lean meat. Now, I like to keep my cholesterol above about a 435. So if I could, was there a way that I could make it worse possibly deep fry it and dip it in a nice butter sauce can i do i dip it in a in a butter whatever they put on kentucky fried chicken can i dip it in that shit all right good bread it deep fry it and dip it in papa john's butter sauce yeah now how does papa john's butter sauce the garlic shit they give you for the crust? I'm a dipping iguana in it. God damn it.

That's right. It's Florida. Whatever Little Caesars has given out. It's probably worse than Papa John's, which is terrible. Now, how does Brittany Peters make her iguana? You might wonder. I am riveted. Well, she sauteed the meat with onions and chives, then paired it with avocado, sour cream, and salsa to make a burrito.

Okay. She may be eating an iguana even douchey somehow. You're in Florida. Just go get some mahi. What are you doing? Yeah, it's everywhere. Well, this fell out of a tree in her backyard, so it's easier. I don't have to go fishing today.

She has some tips, though, for you. Quote, I tried not to go too heavy on seasoning as I wanted to taste the iguana. You really want to taste the iguana, really? This is so weird. I wanted to taste the iguana? What the fuck are you talking about? It's got to be like a fish, too. Like when you barbecue it it you leave the skin on

right no no i don't think so no you yank it off you gotta yank it off most fish you either leave it on just for aesthetic purposes but most a lot of fish but i'm saying like when you grill it even when you leave the skin on it falls off yeah it's gotta be the same thing no no i think they skin this and get it like i think it's like chicken they make try to snake like a snake there you go like a snake in an indiana jones movie or something so you gotta you gotta skin it i wanted to taste the iguana it's so bizarre people say that about like if they get really good like uh you know lobster or something or something like that you don't want to drown and you have ingredients. This is a fucking yard iguana. Like I wanted to taste it.

You pulled this out of a field, lady. Now you can, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you,

I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, you can really taste the iguana.

That's the thing. The seasoning, the seasoning, it's just enough, but it's not overpowering. You can really taste that iguana. That's what makes this iguana Charlie's. I really wanted to taste the free-range grazing of South Florida that this did.

That's what I wanted. Whatever falls on the ground in South Florida, I want to taste that. I want to taste its South Florida habitat that it grew up in. You know, it's funny. It tastes, it's like there's a lot of, there's foliage in there. There's a lot of greenery. Like whatever a dirty flip-flop smells like, that, I can taste that. Like the rubber surface with dirt and feet mixed together, that's in there.

It tastes like a nice sanook. What a fucking mess. Oh, My God. This is unbelievable. But she said, it was a little more bland than I typically eat, and I will add more spice in the future. Yeah, you got to properly season your iguana. That's the problem. That's really everybody's problem.

Now, at least Julio can afford his iguana habit because he makes $100,000 that year. Fantastic. Good for you, Julio. He's eating feeder iguanas. Still, he's doing it. From the pet store. From the pet store. Oh, God.

So 1991 with the Brewers. He has his first kind of full year here. The Brewers are 83-79, so fourth in the league. Not that great. But Julio does fine. 3-3 record. 3-45 ERA. That's good.

54 games. He's in 88.2 innings pitched. Only 65 hits, so way less hits than innings pitched. 98 strikeouts, so less hits but more strikeouts than innings pitched. Exactly what you want from a pitcher. Only 55 walks. So gives up 12 home runs, which is a little too much. But he's a hard thrower, so he's got to learn how to keep the ball down a little bit.

But other than that. Does the body good. It does. Unfortunately for him, though, he's going to have a problem in the offseason that's not going to allow him to build on this success here. Oh, no. He does make $190, 190 000 bucks though that year so good for he's going to need that by the way for several things legal fees lawsuit settlements um things of that nature is he poaching out of season

uh yeah he got that's the thing very very strict iguana season down there in florida and if you're out of it boy they treat you like you just game warden will lock you up. You're going down. Game warden has more power than the governor down there. Do you ever know? Did you know that? I've heard that. It's true.

They can, they're capable of anything. So, uh, December 8th, 1991 post season, he goes down to his home of Venezuela to play Venezuelan league ball, to keep sharp over the winter.

As we always say, never go home. Well, he's home and he's hanging out. Apparently, he goes to a big party here in the western city of, wow. Are you kidding me? Give it a run. Barquisimento. Barquisimento. I'll bet that's closer than you think.

Barquisimento. It's B-A-R-Q-I-S-I-M-E-T-O. Barquisimento. Yeah. So Barquisimento, not mento. There's no N there. So he goes to a big party on the night of December 7th. And then late night, we're talking, middle of the night, when most of our crime and sports stuff happens.

When I say this place, 2 a.m., everyone goes, oh, boy, here it comes. That's not good. Is he doing it 2 a.m.? And this is Venezuela. Yeah. Well, he's driving here with somebody else. And I don't even think he's the driver of the car, Julio. Someone else is the driver of the car.

There's an accident, a car accident. They're not involved. No, they are involved. It's Julio's car and somebody else gets in a car. Not a bad car accident. Nobody's injured. Everyone's able to, you know, pop out of their own volition. It's just a fender bender while you're driving.

their own volition is just a fender bender while you're driving so um normal thing to do here is to you know exchange insurance information chat about it maybe phone i don't know what the fuck wait for the cops to get there well uh the car that he gets in an accident with has a woman named uh edica vasquez in it and uh she's a secretary for and actually a very powerful labor union down there. She's a secretary for them, works for them. So she's in this car. She's the passenger of the car they got in an accident with. Apparently, Julio gets out of the car and his whoever he's with gets out of the car. And the driver of the other car gets out of the car.

Miss Vasquez stays in the car and she's in the passenger seat julio i guess there is a from what i understand a very very short exchange of words like pop pop pop pop like i'm back not like an argument not anything that would they're not arguing in the streets for 20 minutes. But out of these quick lines back and forth, Julio decides the best thing to do is to take out a handgun. What? And start bucking shots into this car that he got in an accident with. So Julio unloads a clip in this car, hitting and killing Adika Vasquez. What? Yeah, hit her with a couple of shots one in the head and

kills this poor woman so was she the one he was arguing with she was in the car so no so probably not no and yeah yeah no somebody else and it wasn't even that i don't know what the hell it was but it happened real real fast so wow he ends up killing this woman she's dead in the car you know blood and and uh bullet holes and it looks like the fucking tupac scene you know what i'm saying like what could have been said that fast that would have made him buck shots like that so i don't know and i don't know if he's going iguana breath he's he's coming from a party i don't know if he's all hopped up on iguana and fucking booze or if he's got i don't know what's going on with him. This is also 91.

Who knows if he's got some – doing coke or something. We have no idea. He's a baseball player in 1991. I just assume he's doing some cocaine. There's something. Yeah, there's something happening. Something in him. Yeah, I would assume.

So he takes off. He doesn't stick around. Him and his partner get in a car and zoom off. So the police come, obviously, after this, and it's in a city. It's not like it's in the middle of nowhere. And so they said that he's wanted now. He's wanted. They want to charge him with two charges of intentional murder and one charge of illegal possession of a handgun in connection with this type of thing.

In Venezuela. In Venezuela. Yeah. Oh boy. And they said that even though only one person died, they charged him with two counts of intense intentional murder because the driver of the car was also being shot at and he could have been killed as well. And you know whatever so julio

is now a fugitive on the run he just he takes off um december 12 1991 this all kind of comes out publicly in the newspapers and this you know promising thing this is in the the wasaw daily whatever the fuck paper this says wasaw daily something it says police seeking brewers pitcher which doesn't look good um the article looks even worse in big bold letters all caps it says woman found dead that's not good julio machado a relief pitcher for the brewers is being investigated in connection with the early sunday death of a Venezuelan woman. Jesus Christ. Julio Machado was reported missing Tuesday after officials began their investigation. He has not been charged with the crime yet.

This is before they charge him. By the way, in baseball, they think he's 25. But in this newspaper article, they have him at 23. So we have no fucking idea how old julio really is i think his birthday 65 but the paper would probably 67 who knows we'll see so um they describe him as a fugitive and then it comes out in the newspapers in venezuela that muchado's gonna turn himself in but probably after the holidays so So he's wanted for murder. They're not going to go out of their way to look for him, but he'll come by.

He'll stop by and figure this all out. But he's got stuff to do first. He's got plans. I'm not going to miss iguana tamales. Yeah, it's iguana tamales season. The whole family's coming over. I've got to do a lot of cooking. I've got to steam a lot of cooking you know i gotta steam

a lot of iguana for this it's gonna be a lot of pain in the ass it's a pain in the ass and i'm i'm on iguana skinning duty so and i like the skins i like to take them afterwards fry them up and then you know you got crispy iguana skin is just like an appetizer it's good everyone likes that better than four crack ones everyone likes that so he's going to put the balls on him. He's going to turn himself in after the holidays. It's kind of shocking, honestly, that someone would just be like, well, yeah, I shot a woman dead in the street. But I have stuff to do. But not as surprising, not as shocking as the sales, Jimmy.

Yeah? If you're new to the show, these are sales near this newspaper article from December 12, 1992 in Wausau something with Wisconsin up here. So maybe I think maybe he wanted to. He's on the run, but he just wanted to stay out so he could be on the lam here for New Year's Eve. So he could he could make it to the New Year's Eve at Main Street Bistro. Bring in 92. Racine's Four Star Restaurant. Oh, baby.

Racine, you fancy bitch, you. Fuck me. It says Maine lobster, lamb, snapper, steak, veal, or duck. Those are your choices, including special appetizers, soup, salads, snapper, steak, veal, or duck. Those are your choices. Including special appetizers, soups, salads, and desserts, complimentary breads with roasted garlic and champagne. All right. All for the low, low price, Jimmy, of $40 per couple. Oh, my God.

Not bad. Not bad. That's a pretty good deal, yeah. Seatings at 5, 7, 30, and 10. So, in other words, I've worked at restaurants where they did seatings on New Year's Eve and shit. Get you in, no substitutions. You don't want capers on that? Pick them off.

In and out, bitch. Turn and burn, motherfucker. Oh, we've cut the menu down to about 12% of what it normally is, and you can eat one of those things. Fuck you. Yeah. Or maybe he didn't want to go there. of those things fuck you yeah so uh or maybe he maybe he didn't want to go there maybe he wanted to go to sergio's new year's eve bash uh-huh at the sabaris hotel open bar from 7 to 10 hors d'oeuvres 8 30 to 8 to 9 30 dinner 9 30 to 11 champagne at midnight the best dance floor in kenosha, Jimmy. It says that right here. The best dance floor in Kenosha.

Those two last words, they qualify the shit out of that. Everything else is secondary. Best linoleum in town. Oh, yeah. Singles come in at $25 or $45 a couple. Okay. But if you're just by yourself and looking to troll for chicks, $25.

Come on, $25. See if you can't get that kiss. That's it. Or, you know what? Maybe not. Maybe he wants to go over to the VFW post 1865 Oh, yeah.

for their big fish fry. They're going to go crazy. Oh, yeah. Carryouts available. Maybe Julio just wants to get a styrofoam carryout. Fish fry, bring it home with him. Get some fish and tartar and go on home.

Let's have an iguana and fucking fried cod tonight. It's going to be great. If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay. I am here for

you. I'm Darcy Carden, and I'm inviting you to listen to my new podcast, WikiHole, from Smartless Media. Discover the craziest rabbit holes on Wikipedia with me and my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane. And if you listen to my podcast, you'll learn that that's the science-y term for eardrum. We embark on a hyperlink rollercoaster as we start out on a Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link, careening through trivia, oddities, and unexpected connections until we collectively shout, how the hell did we get here? Follow WikiHole on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to WikiHole ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the

Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Sir from 4 to 9, also the hall, in case you're interested everyone, is available for weddings, showers, etc. In case you want to have your bachelorette party over there, it seems like the place to go. There you go.

Public welcome. Plenty of parking. Or maybe he just really needed to be around for the December 12th to December 15th. What is this? Gauder Mountain Outdoor Sportsman Supply four-day firearm clearance sale. Oh, shit. He had to toss his gun aside. Maybe he needs to do this it's their

largest gun sale ever they said ever getting ready for 1992 they have tons of stuff here including let's see what they got they have a remington model 1187 uh for 389.99 uh a ruger 77 v rifle heavily barreled varmint rifles it says that's how it's described sounds like a shotgun right? varmint rifle $369.99 a Mossberg 835

shotgun here $309 not bad and it also says need cash for Christmas? we buy used guns bring the ones you don't want. Yeah, and then you can buy your kids fucking shit. Nice gifts.

My God. Either that or maybe he's just planning on going on down to the Kenosha Cinema 5 here, which is like their dollar theater. All shows before 6 p.m., $1. Oh, God, I miss that so much. I know. This is stuff that has just kind of gone out of the theater. Oh, God, I miss that so much. I know. This is stuff that has just kind of got out of the theater. Adam's family is playing.

The first one. The first one. The original here. My girl with Dead Macaulay Culkin there. Watch out for the bees, Macaulay. All I Want for Christmas, which I don't remember what that is. I don't remember. And it's pre Mariah Carey song, so I'm not sure.

I thought that was a uh the redhead chick that banged charlie shane what's her name oh wow didn't she do that movie in 92 i don't know maybe recently oh yeah recently oh yes yes we saw that right i watched that with sarah it is horrifyingly bad she's terrible she's terrible and when you put her in a hallmark movie surrounded by like bad scenery and other bad actors it just makes her look worse as you're like wow she's community theater this is terrible so um all i want for christmas the people under the stairs as well there you go good movie wasn't it it was one of those horror cheesy 90s thriller movie it was popular um the butcher's wife no here and then cape fear with robert de niro now mind you

it says all shows before 6 p.m one dollar only one of these starts has a start time before 6 p.m all the other show times are later we only got one movie for that. You can see My Girl at 520 or else go fuck yourself. It's more than a dollar. Everybody else is worth more. Yeah. So let's say he's done all that. He's got his champagne, his belly's full of Maine lobster. He's got a styrofoam full of fried cod.

He just went and watched People Under the Stairs or My Girl for a dollar. He just bought a used shotgun after selling his murder weapon. He's got all this stuff. He can also head on down to the Athletic Taping Techniques Workshop here. What is that? You go to Kenosha, and you learn how to learning correct taping techniques for athletic taping. How to tape your legs? How to tape up your ankles and shit.

So you can go to that. So either way, he's there somewhere doing one of these things i figure he's in wisconsin possibly i that's where all the good stuff's happening we just talked about it so god damn i miss the dollar theater i want to go i want one i know in phoenix you'd go in the summer just because it was really cold yeah i'm gonna get so. Did you go to the one at 27th Avenue Bell that had the tunnel? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The one that all those laser lights and like 38% of them were burned out.

It looked like an arcade that had seen better days, but it was a movie theater instead. It's awesome. I've been to all the Phoenix dollar theaters, man. I was a connoisseur. It really made you feel like a piece of shit for watching a movie for a dollar yeah popcorn eight bucks you'd be like the movie's only a dollar i'm not giving you eight dollars for popcorn i could bring in the brady bunch

for fucking eight dollars i'm not doing that eat dicks sir i miss it so much absolutely you sneak candy in my mother was good at that she bring candy in her purse they bring beer in and then roll the cans under the chair and they roll all the way to the front you go it's the dollar theater who cares live with it i paid a dollar you think i'm gonna respect this place you pay a dollar sometimes you kick an errant beer can it happens i walked through a hallway where all the lights are burnt down come on this is awful jesus so 1992 uh here comes around the beginning of 92 julio it's after the holidays he still hasn't turned himself in oh god but he sends out a letter one for murder to the press letters yeah just Sending out letters. Yeah, just here's a little update, little State of the Union. Here's what I've been up to.

How about you? He said that he was intimidated by the driver of the car, and he fired the shots as warning shots. That's what it was. In the fucking body of somebody else. Yeah, he said it was just a warning shot he's firing off because he was scared. He said, quote, now I know it's better to run away and not listen to provocations. Before I thought when someone said something you should shoot at them. But now I know that that's not the right thing to do.

Now I've learned my lesson since there's a dead woman. Wow. They said that, you know, he said about the effect of a murder charge would have on his career. That's starting to take off. He said it would be cruel for me because even one year's absence would break my contract. And after that, no one would be interested in me. He wants to do public negotiations in the press. Yeah.

And he's upset because this is crazy. If they charge me with murder, I could I could have to sit out a year of baseball. Then what? P.S. Right back. Yeah. That. Wow.

Holy shit. He also said that the car that he shot into had tinted windows and he didn't know he was shooting at anybody because the windows were tinted. So just bucking up a car just to give a warning and you know so that's all it was uh then finally he turns himself in via a press conference so this is incredibly imagine an american athlete wanted for murder turning themselves in by showing up at a podium going listen everybody i'm gonna make a speech they'd be tackled off the podium and cuffed, whereas they let him have a press conference and then escorted him away from there.

So he has a press conference. Over a month, he's been evading authorities. His press conference is in Maracaibo, Venezuela. He's facing murder charges. He faces up to 30 years in prison if convicted so that's not good it's that late and he's fucking he's talking about a year of baseball

so 30 of them sir they haven't decided the exact charges yet though when he goes to court they're going to charge him officially these are the charges they said they're going to do but hasn't actually happened yet he faces two charges of intentional murder and it could be up to a year before the case is heard, blah, blah, blah. But he was pitching for the Zulia Eagles, and he's also

upset that he can't go pitch for them anymore. He has admitted firing the gun, but he claims it's self-defense now, and he didn't mean to shoot anybody at the press conference he said that he's innocent of killing vasquez innocent he used the word innocent he said that the car had tinted windows which made him think now he says i not that he didn't know that people were in the car which was his original stance now he said the fact that the car had tinted windows made him think that it was full of robbers. It was full of people waiting to jack him. Oh, I thought they were all – it was tinted, so I thought it was all bad guys.

I thought it was all – I figure all bad guys. That's what it is. So I figured I'd buck shots into there, probably kill one of them, and that would make the bad guys go away. When a normal person would see tinted windows and go, that could be full of babies. That could be full of anybody. This guy could jump out and go, hey, I got a car full of nuns here. Why would you think that you just shoot blindly into a vehicle? That's crazy.

That's amazing. He said, quote, I didn't know who they were, which again makes it worse, not better. It makes it worse. I thought they may have been robbers, so I shot to scare them. It was something anyone in my position would have done oh boy he really gives himself everybody next fender bender you get into pop out and just buck shots off into a fucking vehicle that you don't know is occupied or not because the windows are tinted and go yeah that was a good move i should have done that

anybody that is in my position would do the same thing you obviously think it's full of robbers clearly yeah and now we have obviously we covered um um oh my god jesus christ i just my brain just blanked on his name the pitcher uh who who got their bina or get or get their bina who is from venezuela remember his mom got kidnapped, right? And all that kind of shit. So this is a place where it is known that if you are a known person with money, kidnappings happen,

robberies happen, stuff like that. So there is that, but this situation, there was no, there was no inclination of this happening at the, the guy didn't say, give me your shit.

Right. Also, you've made 300 grand total in the majors your name your face is not plastered everywhere about how how well off you are no but people down there that know shit they know he's got more money than most people in the neighborhood right yeah that's the thing so it's uh but he said yeah then he said that uh never in my life did i ever intend to kill anyone. Okay. I want people to forgive me. I didn't mean to take her life or anyone else's.

His lawyer then – this is the best excuse ever. This is the best excuse ever. His lawyer then steps in and goes, hold on, Julio. I got this one. Here. Let me get in there. So my hair is very silver. Step aside for a second.

He said that he didn't even listen. Julio shot the gun. This is to prove that he didn't mean to. He shot the gun with his left hand. So that means he obviously didn't mean to kill anyone because no one can be accurate with a gun with their non-throwing hand. Okay. That was what he just said. He said he shot with his left.

If he shot with his right hand, you go, yeah, that's in the strike zone. But this is clearly dangerous. He went lefty. He's lethal with that other one. You know, like when you're playing wiffle ball with your kid, you don't want to. Wow. I think he's more dangerous now because even with his non-dominant, he's marking folks. That's crazy.

So Doc Holliday must have been ambidextrous, according to Tombstone. I think he was. Jesus. He said, never in my life did I ever intend to kill anyone. He said, everything happens so fast that I feel confused about how it happened. It happened so fast, he's confused about it now. I don't even how it happened. It happened so fast, he's confused about it now. He's being held in a cell with six other people while they figure it out.

That's different than he's used to here. Now, the Brewers are obviously asked about this, and boy, does the silver come out in them, too. They're like, I mean, hey, if he's not in a Venezuelan jail for murder, we're happy to have him in the bullpen, essentially. This is from spokesman Thomas Skibosh.

He said the team had no comment. They said two weeks ago they decided not to comment beyond a statement, which is this, quote, We are pleased to learn that Julio Machado turned himself into the proper authorities. We will now observe with interest as the venezuelan justice system goes forward we will be like you and be spectators now non-committal non-committal non-committal um but baseball director of the brewers sal bando old player there he told the milwaukee sentinel at the club may need clearance from the commissioner's office to allow machado

to play should he return to Arizona. So if he can get out of jail and get up here, do we need a special clearance to put him on the mound or what? He said, Bando said, I assume you're innocent until proven guilty, but we'd want to see what the commissioner has to say. Wow. Wow. The Brewers have the option of putting him on the suspended list if he doesn't report by the start of the season. So then it comes out that in the end of February of that year, he's still not out, but they're saying he may be freed.

The Venezuelan Superior Court judge reduced the charges against him from intentional murder to unintentional murder. Yeah, after a request by the lawyers. The reduction opens the door for attorneys to request the pitcher be given bail, basically. Now he can get out on bail. But they're asking for bail that would even enable him to leave the country to play for the Brewers. Okay. So I don't know what country would allow someone with a pending pending murder charge intentional or not to leave the country that's no i mean i guess the i guess they're banking on the fact that the job that

he's going to do is is high profile and in the spotlight so he's not going to run but but he could just not he's wanted for murder he's wanted for murder that's what i mean once he gets out of out of your border maybe he won't go to amer. Maybe he'll go to some country that doesn't extradite. And then exactly. That's the point. Like you you're usually even if you're under investigation for something, they tell you don't leave the county in the States. Like they're just like, you know, can we get him? You can just go to Arizona. It'll be fine. So the Machados are attorneys are preparing documents which would allow him to be freed and he would be required to return to Venezuela just to stand trial whenever he has to. So there's they're hoping that he'll be granted freedom within the next few days. And he said he'd love him. He'd love to be in Chandler, Arizona, by the weekend. Yeah. They said in my name.

That's what I want. It's really what I want. So, um, uh, they said that, the judge said in this case, it is not totally proved that Julio Machado intentionally shot at a Deacon Vasquez,

uh, addictive Vasquez. That's what they said. So they, that's why they're going to have a trial March 10th, 92. He's out of prison. They let him out of jail.

At least here. Uh, the judge's ruling said that, he's out of prison. They let him out of jail, at least here. The judge's ruling said that he cannot leave the country, though. He can leave jail, but not Venezuela. So he can't make it to training camp, unfortunately. Oh, no. The Brewer's very upset. Bernie Brewer has tears coming down his big stupid face. So they said that, yeah, he must stay near his home in in venezuela

like he can't go out of the city i don't think um and he's not allowed to leave the country till his trial is completed and he's found innocent if he is um they said that he was released from prison the drop in charges means that to unintentional murder means he could do this sort of thing. But the family of the dead woman petitioned to have him, to deny him to be able to go to the United States, and the judge gave in to that. They're also going to sue him, by the way. Oh, is that right? Yeah, absolutely.

Over the weekend, residents of Vasquez's neighborhood had a big protest in the streets demanding that Machado be made to stay in Venezuela. So, yeah, that's pretty fucking interesting here. So he's basically just waiting for shit. They say that the judge – oh, no, that's not that. Okay, March 27, 1992. So this is like a week later.

Yeah. Not allowed to leave the country, but he's allowed to leave jail. He reaches an out-of-court settlement with Ms. Vasquez's parents. With the family. Before he even goes to trial. Wow. Which you would never do in America because that would mean that you. That means that you're responsible for something.

That's going to look bad. Well, why'd you give would mean that you you're responsible yeah that's gonna look bad well why'd you give him money if you didn't if you're not responsible so but i don't know if he's going for like a softer sentence by doing this that might be a strategy but the out-of-court settlement agrees to pay the woman's parents 38 000 jesus which is kind of low, I think. That goes a long way, I imagine. It probably goes a long way in 1992 Venezuela here. During this whole thing, around this time period, the prosecutor who's prosecuting the case, holy shit here, his car is stolen and set afire. That looks bad. So that doesn't look good at all. fire that looks bad so that doesn't look good at all um so that that's now the prosecutor's even more pissed off because he thinks it has something to do with this case because this is high profile

april 1st 1992 the transaction wire and the in baseball comes over and it just reads quote milwaukee brewers placed julio machado pitcher on the restricted list you're restricted from leaving the country because he's up front murder charges. That's a big restriction as fuck. Yeah. They're waiting to see how it goes. But Sal Bando, who's now the GM,

he says he was always high strung and I guess it finally did him in. It's too bad because someone got shot and he had his career ended. He had the chance to be a reliable setup man. Jesus Christ man. So Julio is down there and they said that he's just waiting.

He assures the press that public opinion is more in his favor than against him he thinks. He says but the legal system is treating him more harshly because he's a public a person of status he says so i don't think so they let him out of jail because they didn't let you leave the country with a pending murder charge there that's ridiculous and your status and your status you're such a big deal here's's a comment from – there's this article on him and a bunch of comments that span a 15-year period.

Here's a comment from 2017. And it's a woman who says, I know him personally, and he told me he thought he was a target for a carjacking the night he shot someone. He did it in self-defense, just as he said in court. He's a wonderful person and would never harm someone unless he was defending himself or his loved ones. Julio Machado is an honorable man! Triple exclamation point. So while he's down there awaiting trial, he's playing baseball. He's playing for the Zulia Eagles.

He's playing there. It's in his hometown, the team's base. He's about to be on trial for murder. That's fine. Apparently there is chance of assassin in Spanish or Venezuelan. What is that? I don't know. But chance of assassin over the fucking whenever he's on the road, whenever he comes in.

So this goes on for two fucking years. Stop it. Of nothingness. He's just in limbo. Then on March 22nd, 1994, finally the trial happens and he is found guilty here. Found guilty of unintentional murder. And the judge sentences him to, you, sir, may fuck off 12 years in prison. Really?

12 years for unintentional murder. I guess there's involuntary manslaughter there? Yeah, I think so. Unintentional murder is probably about equal to that. His lawyer says it's ridiculous and he plans to appeal. His lawyer says, Julio is innocent, the lawyer says. He only reacted as any other citizen who had been a victim of crime before.

There was no intention to kill her. It's hard to say there's no intention to kill someone after you've fired a bullet in their direction. Right. That's not a hello. That's only one purpose. You're firing into a vehicle that you can't see inside that tells me that you you're trying to hurt somebody or something and hit her in the head so he shot it

around where a person's head would be in there he shot high he didn't like shoot out the guy's fucking uh headlight or something that would have been the pow fuck away from me you know what i mean that would have been hey that'll get your attention but you've fired into the passenger seat head high it's yeah absolutely so apparently he's going to appeal and uh during the appeal he'll be allowed to be free awaiting appeal oh boy so he still plays baseball what so from rule is this from 92 to 96 he plays four years of venezuelan league baseball innocent until proven guilty but he was proven guilty and and now he's done i don't get it i don't get it yeah it's fine just put your jersey on how's that slider doing i don't i don't understand any of this um yeah if he worked in like some kind of like in a in a tire factory

would they let him go make tires still? I don't think so. Probably. They'd probably make him stay in jail. So 1996, the Supreme Court of Venezuela here, which is, by the way, consists of eight iguanas. That's the Supreme Court. So obviously he knew he was in a lot of trouble because it's just iguanas. Eight iguanas sunning on a rock.

Yeah. So he's like, oh, shit, they're going to get revenge on me. And they do by rejecting his appeal and upholding the conviction and the sentence. You, sir, may keep fucking off 12 years in prison for Julio. While in prison, he is bored, obviously. So he organizes a baseball league among the inmates. He does it. He does it. And he said he's hoping to get out very quickly in the next couple of years. And he knows he's

screwed in America here. So he says he hopes to pitch in either Mexico, Taiwan or Korea. Those are his goals. Those are his goals. So December 2000, he is released from prison. Doing very little time. Does four years. Yeah. Four years. And really, over the last eight years, he's just played baseball mostly. He played for the team, and now he's played in prison for this many years. So he's just playing ball, just hanging, just doing his thing.

So, wow. He's released then. Post-prison, he returns to baseball obviously um he's coaching teams doing shit like that because now he's 35 he's pushing it so i don't know how much bite his slider has on him although he's got a fresh arm hasn't pitched too much i'm not sure yeah fresh ish. So he kind of recedes into the background of quiet. Nothing goes on until the 2008, which I found incredibly weird here. 2008, the, is this 2008? Yeah, it has to be 2008.

What is going on? Yeah, 2008. So 2008, has to be 2008. What is going on? Yeah, 2008. So 2008, he is fucking weird. Okay. He's arrested by police in Columbia. Oh. He's in Columbia. Apparently, he was watching.

There was a bank robbery, and the police had busted a big bank robbery. There's a large group of people watching this unfold in the street, one of which is Julio, who was wanted and not supposed to be in Colombia, not supposed to leave Venezuela, all this type of shit. So they picked him out of the crowd and arrested him. And, yes, since September, they said that they've lost him. They couldn't find him and they thought maybe he was living in a Colombian city. And they found out he was living in a Colombian city, as a matter of fact, with fake documents and all sorts of shit.

They said they've been carrying out intelligence work on his possible whereabouts. But they did, during the police operation, one of our men identified him, and we captured him immediately. He had been residing in the city for two years. Why? Why do you leave? Under the name of John Alexander Perez with Colombian documentation. Wow. So he got a fake fucking.

Yeah, he's hiding there. I don't know what's going on. I don't know if he's in trouble or he pissed off the wrong people or if it's a political thing because this was during Chavez's time or if it's a he's wanted for something. I don't know if he violated his parole and the newspapers down there. That is well, newspapers don't tell you a whole lot because they're kind of state run. So there's really not in that era. So it's really not a lot to go on of why he's there. We just know he's arrested with John Alexander Perez Colombian documentation.

And that ain't him. So they rejected him after fingerprints. They said you're not a resident of Colombia and handed him over to the Venezuelan authorities. and handed him over to the Venezuelan authorities. So the technical corps of Venezuela, the judicial police, they received Machado at the facility somewhere, and he's transferred to Caracas, and there you go. So he's pretty fucked, and he's trying to go by a different name,

and I don't blame him. You don't want to have the name Julio Machado after a while, pretty much. You know what I mean? I mean, I feel bad for a lot of people, but I'm not nearly as bad as I feel for Julio Machado and of Julio Machado tutoring services. Teach you how to kill people and eat iguanas. This particular Julio Machado has done so much more. I have a B.A. in history and literature from Harvard and an MFA, which I don't even know what the fuck that is. What's an MFA? Master of fucking all sorts of shit,

I think that's what that stands for. Master of fucking administration. I don't know. In creative writing from FIU, I've been working blah, blah, blah. So that's Julio. Julio Machado, an actor known for films The Way He Looks,

Joaquin, and The Father's shadow um julio machado venezuelan soccer player that's tough yeah but venezuelan he's a defender soccer player here he's uh been on the bench a bunch i see in the last few games he was playing up through 2021 here he's a 40 year old or 43 year old-year-old defender there. And even worse, though, Julio Machado, baseball player, was in the Marlins organization. He was the future second baseman or third baseman of the Marlins, they said, and he was in the rookie league for three straight years, one year even hitting.308, but he's released and nobody ever signed him again and everybody thinks he's a murderer and he's from venezuela so this poor guy well for you sir hi i'm julio machari i played baseball no i

did not that i didn't kill a lady and get busted in columbia i'm mike tyson from brooklyn jesus christ during uh in december 2009 a milwaukee journal sentinel writer tom howdricourt he said in a blog post that the brewers were holding a clubhouse sale at miller park yeah which is cool i guess old member shit jerseys stuff whatever they got that's cool as fuck man damn it i want i want to go to that um so he said quote here this was year, but he said years ago he went to one. Years ago I went to the Brewers Clubhouse sale and purchased the last jersey worn by reliever Julio Machado, who'd been arrested for murder in Venezuela. I gave it to a co-worker for his son.

You son of a bitch. Right? Give it to us for the studio. As far as collector's items go, how many folks can say they have a major league jersey last worn by a player convicted of murder? That is pretty awesome. There's not a lot of baseball players convicted of murder, so that's pretty good stuff. So that is where we leave it with him. I don't know if he's rotting somewhere in a Venezuelan prison.

somewhere in a Venezuelan prison. I don't know if he's sitting in a beautiful backyard, sipping drinks and picking iguanas from the trees and eating them like fucking pecans. I don't know. He's successfully built a giant terrarium in his backyard and he just sits in it and eats them like man fruit. That's success. Grabs one, eats it like an athlete, goes,

this is the life. I have made it. So if you can't get enough of Julio, you can get a lot of Julio shit. Here is a Julio Machado signed Venezuelan League baseball card. Oh. Yeah, for the Eagles there. It's from 94-95. So he is literally, in this picture, a convicted murderer.

Just on appeal. Appealed murder. It's autographed by him as well. $15. That is post-shooting a woman in the head. Post being convicted and sentenced for shooting a woman in the head. That's awesome. $15.99 shipping.

Can't beat that. That's a great deal. $15.99 shipping. Can't beat that. That's a great deal. Julio Machado is also known for having one of the dumbest and most expensive for no reason errors of baseball cards in the history of baseball cards. Really? Yeah. There's a lot of errors.

Remember the fuck face Billy Ripken bat and the Dale Murphy reverse image? There's all these different ones. Well, Julio Machado's is the lamest error ever. It's a printing error. Sometimes in a baseball card, it'll just be like it looks like the card didn't print right on the name or something. This apparently was with his whole

run before they corrected it. Let me show you how small this is, Jimmy. Do you see that? Oh, you have to be kidding me. It is a dot. A little blotch on the O? A little blotch in the upper left-hand corner of the O in Julio on his 1990 Tops card. And that's the most expensive one?

That's an error. And this card on eBay is $2,000. Wow. $2,000 for that error. What the fuck? Because it's rare, I suppose. It's not even that good. No,000 for that error. What the fuck? Because it's rare, I suppose. It's not even that good. No, it's an error. It doesn't matter. It's the rarity of the card. I mean, I've got

a Penny Hardaway that says Memphic from his college, but I guess there's probably a shitload of them. Exactly. It depends on when they found it and corrected it. And if they didn't correct it or if they corrected it late then there's a million of them apparently they must have corrected this early in

the process two grand and so there's not a lot of them out there i guess so yeah check your 1990 tops if you have those are ugly shitty cards but might be worth some dough and that everybody is That, everybody, is Julio Machado. Julio Segundo Machado Rondon of Venezuela and his crazy murder and his iguana eating and his weird fucking guy. Let's just say that. You guys got an appetite for iguana and murder. I'm here to kill ladies and eat iguanas, and I'm all out of iguanas. So, yeah. There he is. He's all out of ladies.

Watch out, iguanas. Watch out, iguanas. I got a hunger. Killing ladies makes me hungry. Watch out, iguanas. Oh, shit. That's fucking wild. And that is Julio Machado.

I mean, it's a story that we couldn't have told in a three-hour format but it's so goddamn awesome uh so there he is a couple of show notes there will be a scummy awards this year by the way we will continue the scummies that's right they're coming back of course this year so many people have asked about the scummies and definitely we're going to do them we're going to do them as a whole episode we're going to do the regular scummies their year our yearly awards then we're going to do the regular scummies, our yearly awards. Then we're going to do in the same episode, because it's to make it a whole episode, we are going to do, because we've had so many huge stories, we're going to do our all-time scummy awards. Which is from the first six years of the show or whatever, the first 330-something episodes, all the long ones, we're going to have the the scummy awards for that we'll find out who is the scummiest of all of all time we're going to find out there's a lot of candidates right off the top of my head but

it's going to be a lot it's going to be crazy right there's so much to choose from our panel of esteemed judges frankie and benny and now we've added oscar to the panel as well he's this is his first year. So this is good though. We needed three for a tiebreaker. Sometimes they got to argue it out, Frankie and Benny. So it's very difficult.

Try to let them fighting it out over the, over the rope bone. Yeah. Their language skills are lacking, so it doesn't work very well. So now we're going to do that. Definitely. Uh,

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A lot of times, too, you get good pictures of our stories. And that's how we when we post them, you see some good pictures as well as going to Patreon dot com slash crime in sports and get all of the bonus materials. This is the real shit. This isn't just you're going to read something, you want to look at that. This is content. This is episodes. There is over 150 bonus episodes just waiting for your Patreon ears to listen to. Patronage.

Your patronage. And every other week you're going to get two new episodes. One crime and sports. One small town murder. You get access to everything under the sun. God damn it. We can't wait. Anybody $5 or above. And this week which you're going to get for your money.

Oh I'm very excited here. For small town murder we're going to talk about small town scams which is a lot of fun. We're going to talk about a small town scams, which is a lot of fun. We're going to talk about these weird, weird scams. They would have these things like,

Oh, we're building this wonderful village in Florida and it's great. Everybody come down there and then there'd be nothing. It would be like buried in a swamp. And, uh, some guy would be like smoking a cigar on a yacht with all their money in their pockets.

So it happened during the dust Bowl a lot, too. People went to, like, Oklahoma before the Dust Bowl, and then it turned into that. Where's the cobblestone? What happened? Yeah, this was all supposed to be. Where's the fountains, man? It was all built up. And then for crime and sports, we're going to talk about something extremely fun, 10-cent

beer night. Hey! And kind of the history of cheap beer nights and sports. And then, of course, the main melee that happened and what led up to it, the Cleveland and Texas one and everything like that. And there's a book that I read where it's written by one of the Texas Ranger beat writers who was there. So I'd like to hear from their perspective of sitting there actually watching it. It's all in this book. We'll talk all about it. Ten Set Beer Night and all that.

Patreon.com slash crime and sports and you're going to get a shout out at the end of the show when do those shout outs happen right about fucking now jimmy hit me with them like an iguana falling from a tree that i'm going to eat for my dinner right now this week's executive producers are clay thorson jordan bennett amy datchy i think to chi some of our favorites in there dan dan fury fury girl jesus damn whoa what is that i don't think he got the colts colts in michigan fan i believe and tina oh boy this is an italian name james and it looks like holy shit it looks like an italian word for vagina. Cianci?

Bukiak? What are we talking about? Oh, that would be. Cianci? Cianci? Cianci? What is it? Cianci?

That might be it. Yeah, it's probably Cianci on that. It looks like it's happening. Like the Providence guy, Buddy Cianci, like that it's spelled? C-I-A-N-C-I? Yeah, Cianci. That's what that is. Looks like a dirty word other producers are arnold ziffel the president for substitutes for pork foundation uh the limo driver looking for the plate of the truck that hit rocky uh thomas smith taking care of his nana

peyton meadows monty montalegra i I believe, Lisa Savage, maybe Savage, maybe Savage, Andrew fucking Youngbrook, Sela Smith, Reed McGuire, Janice Hill, Cody Leversey's new bride, Delaney, happy birthday, Delaney, she turned 25, holy shit. I don't know why I really like that kid, Cody's just been such a nice kid. Very nice to us. Good listener. He'll be in Detroit, I'm sure. Top-notch listener. Good dude.

Brandi Huntley, Samantha, Jennifer Rudoski, Justin Adkins, Cassidy with no last name, Sam Lyons, Jacqueline Duran, Justin Palmer, Maria Foy, Dave with no last name, Cameron West, Jenny with no last name, Drew Bittner, David Caudell, Miranda Degagne, what? Degagne. Degagne. Yeah, let's go with that. Let's go with that. Sorry about it.

Brooklyn Dashley, Jamie Ann, Bobby Lane, Sean Pegg. Oh, boy. Terry Clark, probably not the country singer. Emily Grape Juice. Yes, that's it. Oh, boy, Scott Clark, probably not the country singer. Emily Grape Juice, yes, that's it. Oh boy, Scott, I've misspelled this. I used a character, not a letter. That's not a name.

Scott is not greater than older. It's probably Mulder, probably. Okay. Less than, it's right there. Yeah, yeah, I got you. Luke Sanderson, Sarah Olerenshaw. Good boy. Nice.

Leslie Harrington, Nicole Strickland, Devin Morgan, Emma Owens, Michelle Groves, Jonathan Olivo, Kent Hollingsworth, Catherine Bartlett, John Sulinski, John Coburn Cameron Catherine Mayo Tabitha Angleton Sarah with no last name J.W. Lisa Gibson

Melissa DeLapp Ryan Yunt Katie Kolo Kalo Calg Calg Calcagno Take another run at it, Jimmy.

Calcagno Stop. Run back. Really get a head start and then head into the no that's not it cory with no last name don with no last name brooke norgrove katherine with no last name john floyd nathan mc lena morales donna fairburn diana diana robin gonzalez brian leach steven Diana, Diana Robin Gonzalez, Brian Leach, Stephen Wilkie, Shannon Cooper, Marcy Trippie Whalen, Wallen, maybe, I don't know, Christian Gavey, Aaron, oh boy, Ella Fritz, Eli Fritz,

what is there, a J in that? No, I don't know who that is. Kennedy Parker, Lisa Schultz, Lindsey Holcomb, Zach Kraken, Cranon, Cranondonk, Cranondonk, boy, oh, boy, Brooke Burns, Ryan Douglas, Mason, Andrew Sagata, Jacob Freiberger, Hunter Brown, Luke Sloan, Sequoia Salazar, Jeff Kemp, Rachel Elsie, Steve Younger, Steve Younger, yeah, Michael, Michelle, Michelle Autry, Mike Rogers, Christ, Christ, Cursed, Cursed Wooley, Adam, Andy, Andy Raymond, Ian Foster, Stephanie Marquette, Chaz Williams, Ben Glissman, Rory with no last name, Michelle Portson, Bailey Patton, Eileen Sullivan, Barbara Wilson, Jessica Page, Stimpy with no last name, Christopher Askaraga. Askaraga. Ask who? Askaraga. Who are we asking? Haraga? Christopher.

Kimberly Gavin, Ashley Ferguson, Katie Robel. Robel. Yep. That car not starting. Shit. Yeah, my engine just stopped. Car noise is your last name. Evan Kelly.

Cody Young. Justin Atchison. Mika. Mika. Haley. Hale. Adam Anderson. Audra Dre.

Ben Dames. Donna Price. Bethanna. Bethanna. Yadamek. Yadamek? Dale Fry? Manuel Castillo?

Lauren Hughes? Breannon? Breannon? I get so serious. Rachel Hall? Eric Roberts? Alex Perry? Julia Hightower?

David Brookshire? Connor with no last name? Heather King? Christopher Hughes? Larissa Crawley? Amy? Amy Hostetler? Mark Olson? Joey MF in Lepley? Amy Graham? Marie? no last name heather king christopher hughes larissa crawley amy amy amy hostetler mark olson joey mf and lepley uh amy graham uh marie marie scar scara scaramuzo

his last name excellent excellent julemmy, Amanda Dixon. Okay, what? That can't be right. Andy Dunlap, Amanda Dixon. All of that for Andy Dunlap? How'd you get that? Amanda Dixon. Somebody's fucking with me, right?

Andy Dunlap, Jimmy Shields, Andrew Scanlon, Samantha with no with me, right? Andy Dunlap. Jimmy Shields. Andrew Scanlon. Samantha with no last name. Nordy with no last name. Sydney with no last name. Lydia Walker. Cecilia Toomey.

Devin Hauser. Lydia Sauer Walker. Tay Z-M-E. Zeme? Zeme. Tay Zeme. Oh, Taze me, James. Do you get it?

Oh, Taze me. I see it. You son of a bitch. Cindy with no last name. Addison Duncan. Renita. Renita. Renita Kruger from Boca Raton.

Boca. Boca Raton. Graham Kelly. Enjoy your iguanas down there in Boca Raton. What is it? Enjoy your iguanas down there in Boca. Grab yourself a yard iguana. Eat it like a candy bar.

Have one on us. Erica Terini. Terigni. Tour. Okay. up a yard iguana. Eat it like a candy bar. Erica Turini. Marsha Dump It. I just pictured Snickers commercials, but with iguanas. You're so crazy when you're hungry. Just eat an iguana. Just bite

its head off. I feel better now as you're holding a headless iguana. It's doing it. Like a swim gym. Snap into an iguana. Yeah. Like a swim gym. Like a swim gym. Charles Chase. Justin with no last name.

Mia Jackson. Ashley Percival. Percival. Martin Ferrand. Autumn Griffin. Emily Hurst. Devin. Oh, David.

Matthews. David Matthews. Bolins. What? Jake. Olet. Olay. Olay.

Chris Funk. And all of our patrons you guys are fantastic thank you thank you so much everybody from the bottom of our hearts we do appreciate everything you do for us hope you love the Patreon content because we like making that weird shit it is so much fun so honestly sign up if you want to hear some weird stories

because they all come out there if you want to follow either of us on social media or both or anybody else, it's on ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com. Everything at ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com is accessible. There's links to everything we've just mentioned. So Patreon and all that shit, tickets and everything. So just go there, One Stop Shop, and keep coming back because we're not going anywhere, goddammit. And live from the Crime and Sports Studios, we'll see you next week. Bye.

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