Crime in Sports - #385 - The Real Housewives Of Drunk In Court - Matt Keough
Episode Date: December 5, 2023This week, we follow the life of a man, with many ups and downs. He was a rookie all star, and "Comeback Player of the Year", within 3 years. He married a Playboy centerfold, who became a Rea...l Housewife of Orange County, while behind the scenes, it was all unraveling. Was a baseball to the head, requiring brain surgery what turned him into a man, who was so out of control that he showed up drunk to court??Win "Comeback Player of the Year" two years after you're a rookie, be lucky that a hospital is nearby, when you're hit in the head with a baseball, and let the world watch the family that you're really not a part of with Matt Keough!!Check us out, every Tuesday!We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsports crimeinsports@gmail.com facebook.com/Crimeinsports instagram.com/smalltownmurderSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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all right let's talk about this matthew lon keo is his name matt keo matt keo do you know who he is
uh swimmer no major league baseball player oh no yeah he's around for a while too he really was
here yeah man i can't believe i have another cold this is insane this winter what happened to you
this winter i have had like every other week i have a cold it's ridiculous it's driving me crazy
it goes back and forth you get one i get one you get one i'm due every time i go on the road i get
a cold so that's that's how it works basically i'm sweating every single time i'm sick when i
get home so anyway uh matt keogh here let's get into this. Born July 3rd, 1955.
He's a California guy from Pomona, California.
Hell yeah.
Yeah, we'll talk about him a little bit here.
Not a ton about his childhood.
It seems like he had a pretty good childhood, though, because he is the son of Marty Keough and the nephew of Joe Keough, both of whom also played in the major leagues.
Is that right? Yeah, so his dad and his also played in the major leagues. Is that right?
Yeah.
So his dad and his uncle played in the major leagues.
Fascinating.
His dad, not for a cup of coffee either, his dad played from 56 to 66.
Ten fucking years.
Eleven major league seasons he had.
Yeah.
My God.
He played for Boston.
What is this?
Boston, Cleveland, Washington, Cincinnati, Atlanta, and Chicago Cubs.
He played so long there was a Washington team.
Yeah, he played for the Senators before they moved to Minnesota there.
So he's been around here and not a bad player here.
Career up to 242 batting average.
Here he's a lefty, outfielder, first baseman.
Not a bad player, though.
I mean, honestly not not a starter looks
like a platoon guy but okay you gotta be pretty good to stick around for that long for sure his
uncle joe played from 68 to 73 for uh for the royals and then for the white socks for one year
and he had a 246 lifetime average so comes from good stock here good baseball stock if you want
to be a baseball player that's that's that seems like a good family to be in.
Matt himself is just an athlete.
He plays four sports in high school.
He's a four-sport letterman in Pomona.
Baseball, football, basketball, and I think track.
All the normals?
Yeah.
Yeah, what everybody always does there.
I don't think one of them.
It would be great if one of them was like field hockey.
I mean, there's wrestling.
The only boy on the field hockey team as well.
It's amazing.
There's wrestling and soccer.
He could have played either of those.
His grandfather, Zeke, apparently, was known as a San Gabriel Valley sports legend in his youth.
He set all sorts of records in high school for three different sports, I believe. so it's in the jizz yeah it's in the jizz man this is
definitely yeah there's there's been a lot of amazing athletes that just leaked onto a bed
sheet somewhere i'm sure so yeah sports res jizz it's not bad so uh yeah he's doing well later on
he's gonna have three kids of his own and not name any of them after himself.
So that's a good sign.
How about it?
Yeah, Shane Karen Colton.
And Shane actually was a professional baseball player as well, but he only played for single A, and that's as far as he made it.
Wow.
Didn't make it to the majors.
And his daughter, though, married Kyle Bosworth, the NFL player.
The Bos!
They're going to make some more.
Imagine that.
Let's put our stock together.
We're making athletes.
Those kids.
Everybody in all sports now are kids of athletes in every sport.
This is Kyle Bosworth's father-in-law?
Brian Bosworth, I think you're talking. I think it's Brian Bosworth's kid, isnin-law brian bosworth i think you're talking this is i think it's brian
bosworth's kid isn't it wait what you're right you're right it is yeah yeah so kyle played for
not not the seahawks right that's that's brian right that's what i'm saying yeah kyle played
for somewhere else yeah i don't remember who but yeah i remember either way he played in the nfl
yeah played in the nfl no, daughter married an NFL player.
So they're like, listen, we have generations of baseball stock.
You have Brian Bosworth, so here we go.
Let's put it together.
All the leagues now are that.
How many guys are kids of athletes when you watch an NFL game?
So much.
And in baseball, the last five years, the sport's been taken over by kids between the Guerrero and the Tatis.
There's a stat that there were seven people that got struck out by Nolan Ryan that had children that grew up to be struck out by Nolan Ryan.
And they probably now have children that are playing in the league now.
25 years, yeah.
It's gotten way worse.
It used to be like a thing like, oh, man, his dad was a major leaguer, too.
I was like, oh, wow. But now it's just so normal. Everybody is like that.
They marry like some five foot 11 model who comes from like some athletic stock and then they make these giant athletic children.
It's ridiculous. NBA is the same way. It's every sport. Yeah, it's every sport.
Well, yeah nba would make
sense because i mean you're the genetics you know yeah it's all right there some 610 guy
marries some six foot one lady and he's already a basketball player gonna make this super basketball
player and then you have steph curry and his brother that's what you end up with so uh matt
though he graduated from corona del mar high in uh in newport beach california in 73 and um yeah he
is drafted by the a's pretty quickly uh-huh and stuff which home state apparently the anywhere
in southern california because rod beck my friend is from he grew up in van nuys and he said he
really yeah weird you don't think of him as a southern california guy right yeah that is
fascinating yeah yeah his dad did like he's sure his dad built van nuys alabama his dad built camera
rigs for wow major motion pictures and shit no his dad was in like the movie business and not like a
that way but you know that's uh yeah so he he grew up there he said the a's have southern
california for years and years i don't know about now but for years and years they were like they
had every baseball player locked up like if you were from a certain areas you were getting drafted
by the a's because they were gonna they were the ones scouting that area the hardest so rod was
drafted by the a's originally wow everyone was like oh yeah i got drafted by the a's big deal everybody around here gets drafted by the a's literally that Wow. Everyone was like, oh, yeah, drafted by the A's. Big deal.
Everybody around here gets drafted by the A's.
Literally, that's what it was.
It was like, oh, fuck.
He's going to play across the bay anyway.
Yeah, yeah.
So there's an article from a little bit later on where Matt talks about, by the way, he was also, once he was in the majors, was going to UCLA as a psychology student as well, Matt was.
Smart kid.
I guess he's sort of smart, yeah.
But back then, rather than playing college, he's going to go get the signing bonus.
He's going to go play minor league ball.
So he said that he feels what he calls the, quote, kids of, meaning kids of famous people.
He said, learn at a young age to cope with pressures that they'll
encounter at a high level of sports okay he said you learn about that much younger that's not a
surprise to you because you're told about it whereas you wouldn't know to tell your kid the
pressures of of major league sports and either would i you know what i mean i wouldn't know what
to say to him i have shit hang in there i't know. I barely know the pressures of anything I've ever done.
Be like, if you take mushroom gummies, they're really good to chill you out.
You should try those.
I don't know what else to tell you.
Otherwise, I don't know.
So, yeah, he said that that's kind of how he was.
Oh, his Uncle Tom, by the way, also punted on the Cal College football team on the Rose Bowl team that they went to the Rose Bowl.
His Uncle Tom and his Uncle Joe both played or something.
His grandfather, Zeke, made a living his whole life hustling golf, tennis, and bowling.
Hustling people.
Really?
In golf, tennis, and bowling.
He's like Bill Murray from Kingpin.
He's going around hustling for bowling.
Everywhere.
That's what he did for a living.
In every sport.
Yeah.
Wow.
Country club golf hustler, as Robert De Niro would put it in casino.
Yeah.
Now, he says, Matt says, quote, I played golf with my grandfather as a kid.
When you're 10 years old standing over a five-foot putt for a dollar.
He's hustling the kid that is amazing you're taking your your 10 year old
grandson out and and trying to make a few bucks off of this outing that is awesome i gotta say
that's amazing holy crap for a dollar he's gonna get 18 out of this that is a yeah he said that's
more pressure than you got playing this game, meaning baseball.
You couldn't pound a needle up your rear with a sledgehammer.
So, yeah, your ass would be tight.
Oh, Jesus.
That's fascinating.
He said, after a while, you learn to enjoy that pressure.
The only time you can become a hero is when there's a lot of pressure.
You have to want the ball when the game is on the line.
The important thing is that your motivation is greater than your fear of failure.
Yeah.
So, yeah, and that's a thing I think, and that's a big part of the game,
that mental part.
And if you're the son of a or daughter of a big-time athlete,
you would probably have that part a little more together than most people.
Hound, yeah, yeah.
Absolutely.
So he said at one point, quote, this is funny,
just talking about going to a game with his dad,
and he said, I remember hiding under the bleachers at Fenway
when I was three or four years old.
He said Vic Wurtz, who was a player,
Vic Wurtz was going to cut my hair off because he was bald.
I didn't know how that was going to work because I already had a buzz cut,
but later on I realized he was joking.
He was just harassing a kid like, hey, kid, you're going to make you bald like me.
What do you think?
The kid was like, no, I don't want to be.
I don't know how that works, but I don't want it.
But that's his childhood is hanging out under the bleachers of Fenway Park having some ball player fuck with him.
You know what I mean?
So he grew up.
It's a different thing. Yeah, it's way know what I mean? So he grew up. It's a different thing.
Yeah, it's way different than how, say, we grew up.
And how most people grow up.
Anybody, really.
Who the fuck has that experience growing up?
Smoking weed under the bleachers of the drag race strip is a different.
It's a little different.
With another piece of shit kid that's barefoot.
And you're not supposed to be there and
he's allowed to be under the bleachers and fenway that's the other difference yeah yeah yeah we
that's this is like the dream childhood it sounds like sincerely for like people like us are sports
fan kids growing up holy shit to be able to go to the ballpark and have access to shit so he was
drafted june 5th 1973 by the oakland a's in the seventh round of the amateur draft here.
So he was signed as an infielder.
He'll be a pitcher later on.
Seventh round signed as an infielder.
Yeah, which, I mean, there was like 150 rounds back then.
So seventh round wasn't that bad.
And a lot of pitchers start out as shortstops.
That's common.
Yeah, or other infielders.
Yeah, hugely common. He's got to have a sick arm. Yeah, Trevor Hoff Yeah, or other infielders. Yeah, hugely common.
He's got to have a sick arm.
Yeah, Trevor Hoffman was a shortstop for a long time, I remember.
I don't know why that one popped in my head,
but there's been tons of guys like that.
Tim Wakefield.
Tim Wakefield couldn't cut it as a position player.
Fucking couldn't hit anymore.
Yeah, didn't hit very well at a certain level
and switched to throwing a knuckleball,
and next thing you know, he's pitched it for 20 years.
It happened.
Oakland drafted him to replace Sal Bando,
who was their star third baseman who had left.
So he was the guy who was eventually going to be their third baseman of the future.
That's why they drafted him.
But he plays in the California League at Modesto,
which is a minor league affiliation there, in his second year of professional baseball.
In his first year, he led the California League.
So the rookie league, he led the league in batting average.
Great.
Doing great.
Then he goes to Modesto in AA and hits 210.
Ouch.
Which is, you hit a wall, because that's when the AA is when the serious shit's happening.
You're facing really good pitchers.
Guys have sliders now.
Yeah.
When guys have breaking balls they can throw for strikes, that's when the whole game changes
because you're not just looking to time a fastball anymore.
And you've got a guy that had Tommy John and is coming back up, and he's got a fucking sick fastball, too.
Yeah, these guys, I mean, the minor leagues,
there's guys throw so hard.
You'll go to these single-A games that I go to all the time,
and there's guys throwing 98 on the regular.
That pops disgusting.
Yeah, it's there.
You just, can they get a breaking ball to go with that is the question.
Right.
So he ends up being converted to a pitcher.
Like, listen, we like you.
You're a good player. You got a good arm. We're going on to you. Like your third base. You, listen, we like you. You're a good player.
You got a good arm.
We're hanging on to you.
Like your third base.
You got to hit better than 210.
So you're hitting 210 here.
We don't expect much better in the majors when guys are way better.
Oh, you got 111 up there.
Yeah.
That's not good.
105 isn't going to cut it.
So they converted him to a pitcher, and it's the best thing for him
because they converted him to a pitcher, and it's the best thing for him because they converted him to a pitcher in 76.
He hit 210, and by 77, he's on Oakland pitching.
He's on the A's and the majors pitching by the end of the next year.
So he caught on quick to that business there.
77, this is – Oakland had a little dynasty in the early 70s.
And they had Sal Bando and Reggie jackson and raleigh fingers and catfish
hunter and all these people but by 77 charlie finley who's the cheapest owner in sports history
had let all those guys go to half of them to the yankees jackson and catfish and all these guys
we're gonna hang on to raleigh until he's in a fucking casket no he left he went to milwaukee
he went uh all around yeah yeah and he did he come back
later i think possibly i swear to fuck i've watched games with him there charlie finley
sold the team and then it was a different story once the new owners took over and like i want to
say late 70s or like 80 something like that they were those guys it's since oakland moved out of
oakland now and now they're in fucking las Vegas, it's interesting to talk about a little bit of their history.
But those guys, that ownership group took it upon themselves to, even if they lost money, they tried to put the best team on the field.
Because back in the day, a lot of people who owned these teams thought of it as a civic responsibility.
You own the baseball team of this city, So you can't put shit out there.
Fucker fun to watch.
It's a matter of civic pride for them to put a good,
a good product on the field.
That's why you ended up having those really good late eighties teams because
they were spending money.
And then,
uh,
then they sold the team and then went right in the cheap fucking back to the
cheapness again.
And then you get money ball and all that shit.
And basically they've destroyed the game with horse shit analytics and they've decided that's better to look at yeah that's so anyway um so 77 63 and 98
they go so um not very good manager gets fired during the year and all that kind of thing um
yeah this is a not the same they still have vita blue um doc ellis a couple couple people we know about
pretty well here um so 77 he goes one and three pitching uh 42 innings pitched he only gives up
39 hits so that's pretty good 485 era he's only 21 so oh they're looking at him as something, you know, not bad. So 78, they're 69 and 93.
So again, this is, listen to this.
Okay.
They get, they have Jack McKeon, I guess, to begin the year in 77 as a manager.
They fire him and Bobby Winkles is there.
Bobby Winkles.
Okay. Bobby Winkles is there. Bobby Winkles. Then the next year,
Bobby Winkles is fired
after going 24-15
and Jack McKeon is brought in again.
I don't know what the hell happened here.
Jack have surgery?
I don't know if he had a heart attack or something,
but he's like Lou Brown
from Major League 2.
Pass a kidney stone or something?
Some shit here.
Matt's getting in the groove of the majors here he threw a spitball sometimes oh back then which guys still that's the end of
the era of guys throwing spitballs that was gaylord perry special and all that kind of shit
august 20th 1978 he threw a spitball um that b baseman Jerry Remy missed and looked like he struck out.
But the umpire saw that the pitch had so much break on it, like a ridiculous amount, that he assumed that the guy fouled the pitch off.
Oh.
He didn't think it was a swing and a miss because he goes, there's no way the ball broke that far.
He must have fouled it down or something.
So he called it a foul ball, and it stayed two strikes.
It should have been strike three.
On the next pitch, the guy hit a home run.
Oh, goddammit.
Yeah, which is like shit.
So the spitter, too much break on it.
It fooled the umpire.
Too much spit.
So he actually is selected 78s his rookie
year because he didn't have enough appearances in 77 so 78 is technical rookie year he is selected
as an all-star wow in his rookie year and he gets has a 3.24 era that year okay goddamn good not bad
he's only 8 and 15 his record but that's not his fault the team sucks
there's nothing you can really do about that he pitches 197 innings yeah if he's only allowing
three uh and they just can't get any fucking runs that's that run support matters for a
bitch jesus fuck yeah i mean he started 32 games 324 era and lost 15 that's lost twice as many
yeah there's nothing you can do about that if you're a good pitcher on a bad team.
You can't make your team score runs.
It just doesn't work that way.
So, yeah, he's a good pitcher, though.
108 strikeouts, 85 walks.
He's got more walks.
Still a little bit.
I'd like that to be 2-1.
But he's young, though.
He's a kid.
He's a kid.
But he's an all-star, so good for him.
79.
Jesus, Oakland is terrible this year.
54 and 108.
Yikes.
Jesus, Charlie Finley.
This is right before he sold the team.
Over 100 games.
He knew he was selling the team, so he was not paying anybody.
Didn't give a fuck.
Didn't care.
I'm looking at this.
Ricky Henderson.
There's a rookie Ricky Henderson on this team, which is pretty fucking cool.
You got Ricky Henderson.
Tony Armis is on this team.
Mike Heath.
I'm looking at guys who are even like good players.
Mike Morgan.
Jesus, not a lot of good players on this team.
Anyway, he this year.
Wow.
This is a rough year for old Matt here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He ties a major league record this year.
Oh, no, it's a bad it's not a
good one yeah oh boy this is like ricky vaughn going fucking hey four wild pitches in one inning
they set the record you made their hall of shame he sets a major league record at the time it's
since been been beaten but he loses his first 14 decisions of the year ouch oh and 14 to start the season oh fuck he has a 2 and 17 record to finish the the year
oh my god didn't win a game till after the all-star break that's wild a 504 era yeah um it
went downhill uh his winning percentage of 105 was the worst recorded by a major league pitcher with 15 or more decisions since 1916.
I mean, it's not his fault, but it's kind of his fault.
Back then, that was also the A's.
The Philadelphia A's, teammates Jack Neighbors and Tom Sheenan,
finished with winning percentages of.048 and.059059 oh jesus christ holy shit they were pitching every third day too
so they had so many losses but really it was just every every game they didn't pitch they lost too
yeah there's everything so from 78 to 79 matt made 28 consecutive starts without winning a game. Oh, my God. That tied Cliff Curtis, who in 1910-11 had the longest streak in MLB history at that time.
It was later broken by Jojo Reyes or later tied by Jojo Reyes in 2008 to 2011.
Really?
Yeah.
That's like that.
Remember Anthony Young, the Mets pitcher in the 90s who lost all those games in a row?
He went like 28 games without winning a game.
And he was pitching well, too.
He wasn't getting bombed.
It's just the Mets were terrible, and he had bad luck.
Just losing 3-4.
Yeah, or he'd get no decisions.
He'd be up 4-1, and they'd lose the game when he came out,
so there's nothing he could do about it.
The bullpen blew the game.
So he loses 17-1- um one two which like we said is
not bad um so he said he said quote kids later on he'll tell his grandchildren kids i must have
been some kind of pitcher only me and walter johnson ever got to start with those kind of
numbers it's funny they thought i was doing pretty well here. So 1980, Charlie Finley sells the club in the middle of the season here in August.
Billy Martin takes over as manager this year.
Fantastic.
And we're going to do a multi-part Billy Martin episode, by the way, because his whole fucking life is insane.
He has a long FBI file that I found.
Billy Martin is, wow, is he a story.
I mean, everything from the-
Mobbed up, right?
Ish?
He knows a lot of people.
Put it that way.
Ran around a lot of people.
He's got a lot of friends, Billy Martin.
And he hangs around bars exclusively.
He started the Copacabana brawl, the famous, I mean, it's all Billy Martin setting it off.
Like, he is the guy.
So Billy Martin here takes over as manager.
And so they do a little bit better.
83 and 79, which that's just will of Billy Martin.
People afraid he's going to fucking murder them if they don't play better.
And spitting in the face of people as he yells at them.
Yeah.
And what Billy did here is Billy was famous for he hated bullpens billy he
just didn't like he didn't like relief pitchers wasn't a wasn't a big fan um okay of relief he
wanted starters to finish games because in the 50s whitey ford would finish his game when he
played you know what i mean it's one of those guys but whitey's pitching six to each batter he's not fucking throwing 90 pitches
by inning five whitey's also doctoring the fuck out of the ball getting a nasty curve ball and
whitey's doing a lot of and whitey also has mickey mannell and roger maris and yogi baron all these
fucking elston howard in his lineup so whitey can give up for and still win the game it's a little
bit different here so this staff staff, the pitching staff,
Billy made them throw 90 complete games during the 1980 season.
Holy shit.
I assure you 90 complete games weren't thrown in the major leagues this year.
I assure you of that.
No way.
No way that the entire league threw 90 games.
Just this starting pitching staff on oakland through night at 90
complete games it would be oh but it's zero right it's no some because there's been some uh some
have this year yeah yeah oh you're right because there was a perfect game so yeah there's been
there's the yankee there's probably 30 then 40 if that yeah but 90 on one staff that's insane
would never happen.
I mean, think about it.
That's every starting pitcher back then, a four-man rotation.
They went to five by then.
But that's almost averaging 20 complete games per starting pitcher.
Per person.
Which is fucking insane.
But he said later on, Matt told the New York Times in 1999,
this is Billy Martin's philosophy here for going the distance for a starting pitcher.
Quote, he used to tell us, don't even look at the bullpen.
There won't be anyone down there.
Ain't nobody going to be working out.
It's just you out there.
Get out and do it.
And a team like this, a shit team, they don't have anybody good in the bullpen anyway.
Yeah, what's the matter anyway?
This isn't the Billy Martin's Yankees from a couple years before
that had Sparky Lyle and Goose Gossage out there in the bullpen where you want to go to those guys.
They're fucking good.
Your tired pitch is probably better than your reliever's good pitch anyway, so keep throwing them.
And that's what it is.
That guy sucks.
At least you're decent.
You're tired but good.
He's fresh but shitty.
That guy can't even start.
He's been there because he's not good.
It wasn't like guys are specialty acts as much back then.
You had some of them, but I mean like a goose gossage
throwing 100 out of the bullpen back then was a lot.
For the most part, it's just a bunch of guys that got two, three innings in them.
That's it, yeah.
Just run those nine and we'll get out of here.
Yeah, so those middle guys are middle relievers
are guys who aren't good enough to be starters generally.
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He said, Billy's whole philosophy was, why should I bring in someone from the bullpen,
lefty or righty, when they're not as good as the guys I have on the mound now?
And there it is.
And it wore everybody down.
Multiple guys had career arm injuries that fucked up their career and all of that.
But Matt said that, you know, he said it's not Billy's wasn't trying to hurt people.
He said we were all naive to it.
We all just thought it was a matter of toughing it out.
It wasn't a matter of, you know, oh, you literally can't make your arm do that for that long.
We didn't know.
And he said, everybody looks at it as negative, but Billy didn't get us hurt.
I don't think the complete games caused the injuries.
The way we were used, after we got hurt, Billy convinced us to keep pitching.
Our egos bought into it.
It was a big tough guy thing back then.
If you're hurt, you play through it.
And then all the guys on the team go, man, that's one tough son of a bitch.
There he goes.
And that was baseball.
Yeah, I mean, that's what Nolan Ryan was too for a long time.
It was just, wow, this guy's a fucking animal.
You can't pitch for 10 years and not have some stuff hurt.
It's just not possible.
So nowadays, the guy's stuff hurts.
They shut him down. They limit their innings back then. They just wouldn nowadays the guy's stuff hurts they shut him down they
limit their innings back then they just wouldn't tell anybody that stuff hurts right because they
didn't want to be put on the bench and they didn't want to be thought of as shit for their next
contract as damaged goods and all that you know it's a different game pitched until he literally
could throw no more balls and he knew it and it was arm said, no more. And they've done that. They did this for a long time.
This didn't go away in 1979.
I mean, when Rod was pitching in the 90s, they destroyed his fucking arm.
He set the record for consecutive days with appearances, Rod.
Dusty Baker brought him out 11 straight days.
That's not a good thing.
11 straight days, dude.
Think about that.
That's not a good stat and record to own i was
watching an old game on youtube and they were saying this is he came in and they were like
this is rod's ninth appearance in a row so they were like you know if he does the announcers
actually said if he doesn't look sharp don't blame him for it this is his ninth night in a
row pitching so this is dusty it's crazy that he's even doing this was yeah this was on san francisco
so he wore him out and then in chic in 98, they did the same thing.
I mean, he pitched.
He had 51 saves.
So think about his appearances.
And they just threw him out all the time.
And he had to have his whole arm reconstructed when he went to Boston.
Elbow, fucking shoulder, all of it was fucking destroyed.
Rotator cuff, tendons.
Dusty's been in so many.
I think it was like 9% of all games ever played, Dusty Baker's been in so many i think it was like uh nine percent of all games
ever played uh dusty baker's been involved in that i don't think that i don't think that high
but still i think it's like three percent or some shit but it's been around a long time it's a it's
a lot he's been in so many games yeah and then he's been continuously in a dugout since then so
until fucking yesterday yeah um so 1980 though matt has
a comeback year man i mean the previous year he had a 504 era and he went 2 and 17 this year he
goes 16 and 13 with a 292 era wow through 250 innings which you'll never see again in the in
major league baseball you'll never see 250 innings again ever i think
the guy i don't think anybody pitched 200 innings this year which used to be like the baseline for
a starter say you need a guy i can give you a good 200 plus innings that was like what you said
per season now it's like 175 they're like shut him down rest him so i'm not saying that's a bad
thing i'm not a doctor so i don't know what the fuck's going on with people's arms.
I have no idea.
So this year, though, he does so well that he wins the AL Comeback Player of the Year honors.
Really?
Yeah, big deal.
So he's only been in the league three years, three whole years.
He's already winning Comeback Player.
He's already Rookie of the Year, a piece of shit, and a comeback already.
Yeah.
Think about that. Or not Rookie of the Year, but piece of shit, and a comeback already. Yeah. Think about that.
Or not Rookie of the Year, but an All-Star.
All-Star, yeah.
Should we kick him out of the league?
Okay, he's all the way comeback.
He's had this career of like a 41-year-old man.
He's 24 years old.
Three years.
Comeback Player of the Year.
Wow.
So 81, Oakland.
They go 64 and 45.
Oh, first half, second half.
Oh, was there a strike in 81?
I think there was a strike in 81 that shortened
the season. I was born. I have no fucking clue.
So, they go to the playoffs
this year, though. Okay.
And they lose to...
Or they win the divisional series.
They sweep the Royals and then
lose to the Yankees. They get swept by the Yankees
that year in the ALCS. And the Yankees go on to lose too so there you go and uh that year though he's 10 and
6 340 era doesn't he only throws 19 games but um yeah he finished 10 and 6 the oakland women won
the al division and um yeah he does very well here he in the uh game three of the alcs he gave up one
earned run over eight and a third innings wow but then he came out and somebody else gave up three
runs in the yankees won four nothing so if you score zero runs you can't win yeah no matter how
well you but he threw eight and think about that that's he came out in the ninth with one out
giving up one run only got you only got six strikes throw them that's as good as you can ask from your starter
you can't ask for much more than that from a starter that's ridiculous so he does very very
well now 1982 68 and 94 again now now they suck again billy mart is the manager now. Still, he's remaining.
And this year, he goes 11-18.
18 losses leads the AL, by the way.
With a 5.72 ERA.
Okay.
So, not good.
209 innings pitches.
He leads the league in earned runs allowed and home runs given up.
Really?
He gave up 38 home runs that year.
Holy shit.
That is a lot of home runs.
He's thrown batting practice out there.
Holy shit.
He walked more batters than he struck out.
This isn't good.
And gave up a lot of home runs and everything else.
So he is estimated to have thrown 131 pitches per complete game in 81 by the
way that is fucking wild so that's he three he had 10 complete games too that year so oh my god
holy shit what is that 1200 pitches in a year yeah in the 1980 season he had 20 complete games. Oh, my God. So in the last three years, he's had 40 complete games.
Whew.
That's a lot.
83, new manager, same result, 74 and 88.
Oakland's not that great.
Ricky Henderson's doing great, though.
They still have him.
Sure is.
This year for Oakland, he goes, what is this?
Oh, less.
Okay, yeah.
He gets traded. That's's right he's traded by the
oakland to the yankees that year for marshall brant ben callahan and some cash and uh billy
martin must have liked him because billy martin was the new yankee manager and they traded for him
so he must have liked him yeah if billy likes you if you're one of billy's guys he'll love you
forever and try to get you on any team he has.
That's how he is.
And if he hates you, he fucking hates you.
And we'll try to get rid of you, basically.
That's it.
Yeah.
So this Yankee team in 83, this is a rookie Don Mattingly on this team.
Goose Gossage.
Oscar Gamble's still there.
Steve Balboni with his bald, big, giant Italian ass.
Looks like he's making pizzas.
Wow.
Dave Winfield's on that team.
Dave Frigetti, Willie Randolph.
This is like a lot of the team of my youth.
You know what I mean?
This is, wow, they had Otis Nixon.
That's right.
Jesus.
They had Otis Nixon back then.
Goblin face.
Holy shit.
This year, this is one of the only years we could find salary for him.
He made $420,000 for the Yankees.
Okay. Which is good money back
then yeah it's real good money in the 80s fuck yeah he's released right in the 70s yeah yeah
this is 83 he's he's released by the yankees november 5th of 84 so after the season he doesn't
pitch very well anyway um he's got a 5 5 17 era for the Yankees. So he's released. But in 84, he's having a bad career time, but he also is having a good marrying time.
Okay.
He marries the November 1980 Playboy Playmate of the Month.
What?
Yeah.
Marries himself a model.
That's why you have athlete kids and girls who can marry NFL players because you're marrying Playboy Playmates. He's got a naked gal. Yeah. Marries himself a model. That's why you have athlete kids and girls who can marry NFL players.
Because you're marrying Playboy Playmates.
He's got a naked gal.
Yeah.
Jenna Ellison Tomasino.
Oh.
Yeah.
So the Playboy, the Mates of the Month, though, were also like models, too.
They were like.
Fuck yeah.
Yeah, they were all very.
They were doing all kinds of shit.
Pretty.
So he has a sore arm for the next couple years.
In 85, he signs as a free agent with St. Louis with the Cardinals.
Lucky for him, they go 101-61 and go all the way to the World Series that year.
Wow.
Yep, losing in a seven-game series to the Royals.
That was a classic series there, so pretty cool for him.
He has a.450 ERA. era he's oh and one only pitches 10
innings though so that's all right november 12th 1985 he's granted free agency again really so in
86 he is on the cubs sign him here so they're not a good team either they have three managers that year that's not a
good sign that's bad they go 70 and 90 the cubs and uh yeah he doesn't really contribute very
much there 497 era so you know andre dawson's there yeah yeah he makes a hundred thousand
dollars that year okay so uh june 14th 86 though he's released by the cubs so halfway through the
year then he signed as a free agent by houston who's also has a good year that year is he
bouncing around he's but yeah now he's just looking for anything and he doesn't pitch very
much for houston either here uh he has a 309 era with 35 innings pitched so get it together matt
it's it's not going very well october 24th, 86. He is released by the Astros. So, yeah, he's about to leave. Well, no, I will find out. She's going to stick around a long time. Yeah, going to get it. She's going to get a TV career out of it, as a matter of fact.
Oh, yeah. Hold on, everybody. There's a lot coming up here. I know it's been baseball for a while, but it's not a conspiracy theory they paid millions of dollars
out in fines and penalties to players and and you know retribution because they just said the
salaries are getting out of hand don't sign guys we can't afford it yeah so like andre dawson who
was the mvp the year before that year got fucked over nobody would sign likable guys ever had to
sign for like no money because nobody would sign
him because they were colluding and then they found that out later and he got paid so um they
were they were doing that he gets a half a million dollar offer matt uh matt does here to play for
the hanshin tigers of japan yeah and i guess that right yeah his father played there as well. Oh. Yeah. And he said at one point to the Los Angeles Times,
we're the first American father-son combo to have played in Japan.
And a lot of Japanese fans mention how they remember my dad over here.
How about that?
Yeah.
So there's not a ton of Americans, so the ones that are there stand out.
They remember them.
And also his name is weird you know a
lot of vowels had a kid i'd know who he is exactly exactly so he pitches four seasons in japan
which isn't bad um he was the last former major league pitcher to win double digit games in japan
at the time he said that uh at one point, the key to being happy over here is to arrive with the attitude that you're not going to be playing American baseball here.
A lot of guys, they've come over here and fought changes and had the attitude that that's not how I did it in the States.
And then this is how I'm not going to do it like this here.
And apparently not the attitude to have in Japan.
I imagine.
I think that's the plot of the movie Mr. Baseball with Tom Selleck.
As a matter of fact, isn't it?
Things are different.
Yeah, it's a fish-our-water story.
Remember the black dude is like, man, you got to just go with the flow over here.
You don't understand.
You're not in America anymore.
It's basically the same thing here.
So he said that the interesting thing is they do anything to get an advantage on their opponents in Japan.
It's like totally fine to like spy and cheat and do all that kind of shit there.
That's considered gamesmanship over there.
Yeah.
He said, quote, stealing signs, strategy, which is what the Astros did and got in trouble for.
The thinking part of the game is emphasized a lot more here, meaning Japan.
The starting pitchers are not announced before the lineup cards are exchanged at home plate.
So you don't know who's pitching against you that day until he goes out on the mound to warm up.
I like that.
That's kind of cool.
Yeah.
But we'll never do that because gambling is a giant business here.
Yeah, it matters too much.
And that's the reason why we don't do that.
Half the things in sports where you go, why is that?
Gambling is why that is.
Because they're bending over and grabbing.
Which is gambling.
They're bending over and grabbing their ankles so the gamblers don't get upset.
So that's who the game's for.
It's not for you if you're a fan.
It's not for you.
Just know that.
So he said that all the clubs have video cameras.
This is in the 80s.
And guys with binoculars in the scoreboards, in the dugouts, and all the dugouts have TV monitors.
So they're constantly spying as much as they can on each other.
Looking for signs, looking for anything.
Anything they can get for an advantage.
I like this place way better it's
fucking crazy so 1991 he attempts to come back to the major league since he's had a good four years
in japan he signs with the california at the time angels oh jim abbott yeah and spring training here here and doesn't make the roster. Oh. So he tries again in 92.
Uh-huh.
Okay?
He tries it in 92, and he makes the California roster.
Really?
Yeah.
He's on the path to being another comeback player of the year here.
Just the fact that he made it back is incredible.
Twice.
Twice.
So this is fucked up.
Okay.
It's one of the last exhibition games of the year.
And he's made the roster.
They've told him he's going to be on the roster.
He's very excited.
He is sitting in the dugout.
In the spring training, they'll tell guys, you're going to go four, then you'll go two, then you'll go two.
Because they're not trying to win.
Because it doesn't matter.
It's just you need this much work, everybody.
Okay.
Even if you're getting shelled.
So they told him, you're going to pitch later, just so you know.
So he's pitching later, but he's in the dugout hanging out when the San Francisco Giants' John Patterson rips a foul ball into the dugout.
Oh, no.
And hits him in the right temple with it.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, hits Matt in the right fucking temple with the ball and fucks him up
royally as we'll talk about forever oh he's not he's fucked up yeah he has to have a scrambled
him emergency surgery to relieve the pressure on his brain after he's struck in the right temple
by a foul ball um yes they said the doctors have given the angels no reason to believe that the injury is
life-threatening they're not talking about playing they're talking about living at this point with
them what the fuck yes they said he's resting in intensive care and tests are scheduled
oh my god he was listed in critical condition at scottsdale memorial hospital oh my god wow this
is a spring training i know about this i know about
this this is against the giants fucking rod was there he told me about this really this was when
yes yes this was when when they play it's the same park and it's in old town scottsdale they
had moved though they used to play at the other park and they moved to this park and they said
it saved his fucking life because it was close to the hospital. It's right across the street. Yeah, it's right there.
Holy fuck. Rod told me about this 15 years
ago. Wow. And he said,
spring training is due. He goes, man, we're lucky we moved
that fucking stadium because they got him right to the
hospital. Otherwise, it would have been, he got hit in the
head, parred and blah, blah, blah. That's what he
was talking about. It just clicked in my head now.
Because that place is between
Indian School and Camelback and I think that
hospital is on Indian School.
It's on Osborne.
Yeah, it's on Osborne.
It's right in between.
It's right there. It's literally right there.
I don't even think they took him in.
I think they wheeled him on a fucking stretcher to the hospital.
There's no point in getting in a car.
It would take longer.
Unbelievable.
Yeah, that's wild.
Okay.
He took a line drive.
Well, it's a bouncer probably to the dugout.
Oh, no, the dugout.
Oh, my God.
Right off his head.
Not the bullpen, the dugout.
The dugout.
Liner.
Shit.
I mean, bam, from here to there.
That's why they have those screens up now.
Yeah, that's fucking 40 feet.
Yeah, it's not far.
Oh, my.
The liner will scare the shit out of you.
Absolutely.
Hit him right in the fucking head.
So, yeah, they said
he was there. They had to perform
an emergency craniotomy.
What?
Sounds like they're taking away his head off.
Taking his whole cranium, I think
is what that means.
We de-craniumed him.
It's going to be a few inches shorter now, but
his hat's going to fit funny funny but we think it's gonna work
the angel's got one sideshow may as well have two fuck it sideshow
sideshow there's a shout out for my cousin there for screaming sideshow and a as a disabled man
pitches in the major leagues incredibly and for us going, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.
A one-handed man is incredibly throwing a baseball and flopping the mitt and you're screaming,
Side show.
Side show.
Hey, side show.
But not in a mocking way.
Like that was his name.
Hey, side show.
Side show.
Hey, hey, side show. He needs to pitch two more side show. like that was his name that's the hey sideshow sideshow hey hey sideshow that's gonna need you
to pitch two more sideshow that's fucking watching him hits even crazier i can't imagine that's
there's a baseball card of him with the hand on the bat so what's the thing we're gonna do a
patreon one of these days about disabled professional athletes because it's incredible
some of the guys that you're like how the fuck did he play in the majors with half a leg?
What's up with that?
We can leave Pistorius out of that.
We've already done that.
Yeah, definitely.
He's out, by the way, now.
Unbelievable, right?
That's fucking crazy.
Yeah, they let that guy out after 10 years.
He is springing away on his bouncy legs, whatever those things are.
He better run.
We know he's fast, but he's...
We do.
Wow.
I'm kind of blown away by that, that they let that dude out.
Serves sentences faster than he runs, evidently.
Yeah, apparently so.
Unbelievable.
A brain scan for Matt here had revealed an epidural hematoma, a blood clot inside the skull.
Yeah.
That's a problem. A brain blood clot inside the skull. Yeah. Yeah.
That's a problem.
A brain blood clot?
Oh, my God.
Fucking bashed in the head.
He appeared to be, the report after the game was he appeared to be on a good road to recovery,
but then complications developed after that as well.
He had a stroke.
So he has to have further brain scans.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, third base dugout. Holy fuck, that is is brutal it was the bottom of the first inning too jesus so he was probably
just getting his sunflower seeds together and everything he probably wasn't even paying
attention that's brutal um yeah he was taken via ambulance to the hospital across the street
right thank fuck there um luckily marty his dad was working as a scout for the Cardinals and happened to be there while he was being treated.
Really?
Which the Cardinals don't even play there, so I don't know how that happened.
They play down in Florida.
Either way.
Other family members were flown by the Angels to Scottsdale.
They said he seemed woozy and lost consciousness for a few seconds, according to the trainer.
Christ, I would imagine you'd be woozy.
The manager of the Angels, Buck Rogers,
was his best manager name in baseball history.
He said, quote, it was awful.
It sounded like it hit a squash.
Oh, geez.
Why do you have to say it like that, man?
Jesus.
I mean, that's very descriptive.
I'll give him that.
You know what?
Don't say that.
He's going for accuracy, not listener comfortability here, I think, is what's going on here.
He heard it squish.
He said Matt was scared, real scared.
No shit.
And then Don Robinson, an Angels pitcher, said it hit him flush in the face.
He didn't have any chance to get out of the way.
Oh, Christ.
Holy fuck.
That is such a shame, dude.
That's terrible.
This fucked up.
The guy makes it all the way back.
He pitched twice in the spring.
He allowed one run in five innings.
He was invited and only pitched a little bit before he had shoulder problems last year.
Now this is a mess.
His wife, though, said, quote, the minute he got injured in 1992, he was not the same person.
It's fucked up his whole brain, dude.
This is not the same picture, not the same person.
This is, you know how we're going to say grace here before, because this is where it all goes.
He was doing great.
Fine.
Yeah.
And to me, making it all the way back, that's grace.
You know what I mean?
That's huge.
That's grace.
And then this hit in the head sent his life on a completely different path and trajectory.
Who hit it?
Not the same at all.
Who hit the ball?
Do you remember?
Yeah.
The guy that, let me look again here.
John Patterson.
It doesn't matter.
So, yeah.
She said, quote, he was not the same person from 1992.
He woke up.
He didn't like me.
I'm kind of not what he wants.
He needs.
Yep.
He needs peace and quiet.
And I had a house full of crazy kids and their friends.
And he's been alone for a long time.
He prefers the company of himself.
That's what she said.
Ten years later.
Oh, my.
He woke up and said, I don't like you anymore and i don't like our life and i just want to be alone holy it fucked his brain up
man he got hit in the head i mean it's this is turned him into a wild man turned him into a
different person completely i don't want my children and my fucking playmate of a wife. Yeah, no.
Get out.
What?
I can't deal with it.
I want to sit by myself.
Oh, man.
Yeah, he prefers the company of himself.
But they were still together for a long time.
They were together for another 12 years.
We just had different households.
After that, yeah.
They were together, but I guess they were just trying to figure it out.
He,
from 92 to 99,
he worked for the A's and the angels as a roving pitching coach.
They called it.
And he was an executive from 92 to 99 as well.
After that,
he was a scout for Tampa Bay for the double raise.
And then he was an executive for the Oakland athletics for a while as well.
So he had a bunch of jobs in baseball.
So that means he's well-liked in baseball.
People seem to look out for him and make sure that he stays in the game.
You know what I mean?
Feel for him for the trajectory he was on and then the trajectory that changed,
and people feel bad about that.
They're helping him do things that are, I mean, it's pitching adjacent.
It's in the realm he's aware of, so that's good.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
He's capable.
It's something that, you know, that's how it works in baseball, basically.
The jobs go to guys who are well-liked.
Yeah.
You hang out with guys, they're your teammates,
then they get jobs in front offices and they hire guys they like.
You know what I mean?
That's who they want to work with a guy whose baseball philosophies they talked out in the
dugout and they he agrees they agree with them and it's that's how you get it it's all and you
know you can see that you can see that as like personalities are likable and liked by the
organization but there's also the guys that are loved by fans and they just get work because the
fans like to see they want to see them yeah Yeah. Yeah. And that's the other thing about baseball.
It's also a game of attrition.
It's a long season.
Right.
162 games.
These guys are to get.
It's not like these guys are together every fucking day for like eight months.
You know what I mean?
So a lot of it has to do with do you like this person?
Can they get along?
There's harmony is a much bigger deal in baseball because you need it every single
day sure so it's a it's a big deal people despise fans uh despise matt williams as like a complete
dick but he was the third base coach forever uh because the players afterwards because the
players like it the players love him rod said when they played for san francisco was him and
matt williams and like two other guys that would sit in the fucking in the clubhouse after games for two hours just drinking beer and talking about
baseball they just played baseball all day they just did all this and they just sit around talking
about baseball they were that into baseball that's why they like him so April 6th 2005
okay he's driving Matt is cruising along he rear ends a car who that was at a red light.
Okay.
So rear ends a stopped vehicle here.
Yeah.
Um,
that car is then pushed into a pedestrian who was in the crosswalk and
knocks them over and hurts their knee pretty bad.
He was moving then.
Yes.
So he is going to,
uh,
he's going to plead guilty to drunken driving later on.
He's going to be sentenced to some jail time and all that, but that's not the fun part.
No.
His blood alcohol was more than twice the legal limit.
That's not fun at all here, obviously.
He also left the scene of the accident.
Oh, Matt.
So bashed into somebody who bashed into a pedestrian.
There's a pedestrian laying on the ground on the crosswalk, a car with a fucked up rear end, and he pulls out and around and keeps going.
Bye.
Have a fucking way, you guys.
So he's charged with DUI and hit and run at this point, which are both felonies.
That's not great at all.
Where is this at?
This is in California here.
Okay.
Yeah.
Where is this at?
This is in California here.
Okay.
Yeah.
Wow.
The other thing that he did, which is interesting, is he didn't get a breathalyzer until three hours later because that's when they finally caught up with him.
And it was still twice the legal limit, over twice the legal limit.
He was shit-ass.
Three hours later.
My God.
And he probably went and started drinking water and eating fucking bread and stuff.
And it's still three.
Imagine how shit-faced he was when he ran into this person.
Doesn't he?
Wow.
It makes sense why he didn't see the car or whatever.
Right.
Yeah, he was driving a sport utility vehicle, driving an SUV.
It's 9.50 p.m.
So you can see taillights in front of you.
Yeah, there's a red light at Via Serena and Santa Mar margarita parkway in rancho santa margarita yeah and uh they hit an un the pedestrian was a 31 year old unidentified
man um i guess he didn't drive away he started he just got out of the car and started walking away
matt he left the car yeah so somebody had to go like track him down and like no no no no
come back he threw it in the gutter i'll buy another oh yeah that's what he did so they bring
him they bring him back right picture him one because i mean he's been dinged in the head now
he's shit face too right he's drunken with a head injury stumbling off somewhere so they bring him
back and say no you got to stick around so then the sheriff's deputies arrive and they're like where the fuck did that guy go he took off again whenever nobody
was looking he just walked off he walked off so then they had to go find his ass and he wasn't
arrested till 1 a.m so you imagine how shit-faced he was i imagine you just run the plate and be
like go to that address yeah he wasn't near as
he just wandered off somewhere he's probably hiding behind a bush sitting down um so yeah
he's he's a bit of a mess here so oh by the way 2005 in june is when his son is drafted by the
oakland a's in the 36th round his career minor league stats are this his son uh 214 batting average 244 batting average 235 and then 223 all high he made
it to uh high a ball is the highest he made it to and then he's done so um the best part is uh
about him we'll talk more about matt keogh's drinking later because it's going to come back
it's going to come back he's going to have a fun court appearance that we're going to get a feeling he's still drinking we're going to talk about for a while because it's going to come back. It's going to come back. He's going to have a fun court appearance that we're going to...
I get a feeling he's still drinking.
We're going to talk about it for a while because it's fucking funny.
So March 21st,
2006, Real Housewives
of Orange County
premieres.
Get out of here.
Yep, and she is on the show.
Matt's wife is on it.
His wife is on the show.
In the first episode, Gina's son, or Jenna's son, Shane, their kid, faces the stress of high school graduation and the baseball draft, where he feels pressure to become the third generation Keota play pro baseball.
Shane's sister, Kara, feels the sting of sibling rivalry, and things get ugly when she demands a new car.
That's a show that people watched
people turn that on and said oh i want to watch a fucking teenager demand a new car
and another one trying to make the majors trying yeah the other one talking about the stress of
high school graduation well she demands a car well one other one demands a car demands a car well this is one other one demands a car demands a car a new car
not just a car a new car a new one i don't think that sounds like she already has a car
that is gross that's a show so relatable that show has been on for 17 years how the
fuck is that still going?
With plot lines like that.
What the fuck?
They figured out somewhere between then and now that if in the middle of a kid bitching about a new car and another kid doing this, if one of the ladies just throws wine on another one, that people will watch it and you can come back another time.
That's what it is.
It's literally what they figured out.
When rich ladies throw wine at each other, everybody wants to watch it for some fucking reason.
I guess the morbid curiosity of how the rich live is what's getting people to tune into that shit, right?
Yes.
What ridiculous, wasteful shit are they doing?
Yes.
I think that was the original, I guess, look at it.
But then when you watch it, you go, none of this is real.
Right.
This is all scripted.
This is ridiculous.
They're all broke.
Yeah.
But you see, this is their house.
You know what I mean?
Ooh, they drive a nice car.
This is what it looks like when they have a party.
This is just mortgage to the hill, fancy bitches.
Like everybody else.
Right.
They're more fancy than we are, appearance-wise.
But they do the same white
trash hillbilly bullshit that i do and a lot of this is like very intricate like uh plotting
between these women like oh so and so's having a party but she didn't invite this one because last
time she came she did something with one of the towels in the bathroom and put it askew and so
now i'm gonna sab i'm gonna have a party myself that same night.
No, let's see who shows up.
And then they have to court, you know, guests at the party.
It's like, what are we watching?
The wait is over.
So far, you're not losing.
The only thing you're losing is my patience.
Quickly, I see that.
Ding!
The queen of the courtroom is back.
I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
Okay, so, um...
This is not a so. This is a period.
Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes not a so. This is a period. Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
The Emmy Award-winning series returns.
How did I know that?
I have a crystal ball in my head.
It's an all-new season.
It's streaming.
You can say anything.
Judy Justice. only on freebie
court guests court uh vendors to bring the fucking fondue pot bring it to my house and not hers fuck i've never seen the real housewives of orange i haven't either this is what i assume
i've seen like a little bit of the potomac one
i've seen that really yeah that's black ladies that's black ladies arguing with each other
that's fucking fun it's maryland yeah it's dc maryland so that's that's that's black ladies
who are mad at each other that's fun shit because they at least their arguments are
fucking interesting you know what i mean they're not like at least they're funny you know what i'm
saying like they they have personality under unlike these like fucking plastic California ladies.
Bug-eyed fucking eyebrows touching their cheekbones.
It's gross.
I hate it so much.
And then Sarah put on the Utah one one time, the Salt Lake City one.
And it's just a bunch of Mormon women talking about, like, it's so boring, dude.
They're all Mormons.
It's so fucking boring.
Yeah.
They're all boring.
So anyway.
Yeah.
April 18th, 2006.
So a month later on tonight's episode, Jenna's son Colton breaks his hand in a fight about drugs.
What?
I'd like to know what happened there.
Was the kid doing drugs?
Was he fighting for them?
Was he fighting for drugs? Fight for your right to do drugs? the kid doing drugs? Was he fighting for them? Was he fighting for drugs?
Fight for your right to do drugs?
What was he doing?
Was he fighting for or against them?
Which one?
Somebody stole his drugs and he punched them and took them back.
He stole some drugs from somebody else by punching them.
What happened?
How did he break his...
Fight over drugs.
Those are my drugs!
And he started socking people.
I don't know.
December 14, 2007 here. This from uh uh tmc here okay what is going on
this is what the movie channel no tmz not tmz oh tmz okay uh yeah uh the tmz cameras caught shane
keo the quote hot son of jenna and baseball player matt keogh from real housewives last night
making out with some chick here um oh some random approached him and asked him if he was k-fed
kevin federline and he said yes and they said well most people would take offense
shane actually embraced it and was proud to be called k-fed yes i am let's fuck oh my god that is holy shit it's better than are you on that show where your
mom drinks wine and throws it at other ladies where you fought for drugs jesus where your
brother fought for drugs that was colton the other one oh the other one. Oh, the other one, yeah. So December 20th, 2007, this article's funny.
Reality has set in for Real Housewives of Orange County husband Matt Keogh.
Oh, no.
Now he's not even ex-Major League Baseball player Matt Keogh.
He's a fucking husband of Real Housewives.
The next line says the former MLB star.
Oh, no.
Second credit. Second credit.
Second credit.
First credit is my wife throws wine on ladies on television.
Wow.
Well, he's arrested again.
Yeah.
Here he's arrested in Newport Beach after officers found him drinking at the bar at the local Marriott Hotel, which violates his probation.
Yeah, he's not supposed to be doing that.
Not supposed to be drinking.
So he had pleaded guilty to felony DUI charges in 2005, and now he is not doing well here.
And that's fascinating because you know the cops weren't looking for him if he was drinking.
He's probably causing a problem.
Somebody called them.
Yeah.
Probably.
He's not supposed to be drinking. A guy shouldn't be causing a probably like he's not supposed to be drinking a guy shouldn't
be causing a scene like he's doing he's either drunk or has a head injury or both we can't figure
it out we're not sure we're not sure what's going on here so the terms of his probation was he's not
to consume any alcohol none at all not not supposed to be drunk he's supposed to be a fucking you know
sober as a monk here so yeah the cops arrested him after a cop recognized him and knew he's not
supposed to be drinking.
That's when you know,
you're a problem.
That is very,
uh,
we had a quarterback did the same shit.
Yeah.
When cop individual cops just walking by happened to know the terms of your
probation.
Hey,
he's not,
that's Matt. He's not that's matt he's not
supposed to be drinking supposed to have drinks matt you know you're not supposed to be drinking
that's fucking insane oh my god yeah the uh the the lieutenant said uh the officers recognized
him they know he's not supposed to have alcohol and they arrested him even a sip of alcohol would be enough to violate his probation holy shit um yeah uh this is the problem though um he had just gotten out of jail
because seven weeks earlier or he spent seven weeks in jail he got out on december 12th and
then gets rearrested on december 20th The reason why he went to jail was violating his probation for getting drunk at his home.
I'll go where they don't know my name.
So, yeah, he goes to.
Dude, you don't go to the Marriott in the town you live unless you're hiding.
That seems like the place you get some anonymity because
nobody nobody knows anybody there you're fucking a woman who's not your wife yeah or you're getting
drunk when you're not supposed to and no one knows who i am and a cop walks by and sees him
which is fucking crazy and they know you yep at home that was a probation officer did a surprise
pop in on him and he was shit faced. So that's not good.
I'm not drunk.
I'm fine.
I got hit in the head a while ago.
It's okay.
We'll go to my home.
Wow.
The family released a statement.
The Keough family asks that the media please leave the family alone while they
work to get Matt the help he needs to defeat this unfortunate disease.
Do you want our attention or don't you?
Yeah, you're on a reality show.
Right.
Hey, leave us alone.
Except for this Thursday when you have to tune into The Real Housewives and I'm going
to throw wine on a lady.
Yeah, we find out if my son gets drafted or not.
My son gets drafted.
How's my son's fighting hands for drugs?
Did my daughter get that car?
And will that wine come out of that lady's blouse?
These are what we're handling.
And into my husband's liver.
Oh, my God.
Jesus fucking Christ.
So he was originally supposed to go for a hearing on the probation violation charges that week.
But since he got arrested again, they had to
delay it to January.
He admits that he was drinking wine
in the hotel in court
here.
That's fucking funny.
Wine, I guess, yeah. And he gets, you sir
may fuck off 180 days in
jail.
So, yeah, that's fucking fun.
That's six fucking months man that's six months
yeah i mean he blew it hard though let's be honest here i mean he probably wouldn't have got that just
to drinking at home but then getting out and eight days later going out to drink more and did he have
his car with him right how'd you get there it's the other thing i'd like to know so um yeah the
tmz spokesman uh tmz spoke with the Orange County Sheriff's Department spokesman
who confirmed that Matt was arrested, yes, and they said that Matt's family are working
together to get Matt into a treatment center to obtain the help he needs.
So even the cops are shilling for him.
Yeah.
Even they're fucking shilling for him.
Somebody help this fucking man.
February 10th, 2009, on tonight's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County, Jenna and her daughter Cara drive up to Berkeley to move Cara into her apartment.
Her apartment at college.
And find themselves strangers among the, quote, bums and hippies.
Of a college town?
Berkeley, especially. Yeah, right. among the quote bums and hippies you went to berkeley berkeley especially is kind of known for hippies a little bit a little drop just a touch of hippieism up there right you think in
berkeley yeah for fuck's sake that's been what they've done there for the last 55 60 years or so
since the vietnam protest everything else hate ash up to Haight-Ashbury area. There's no hippies
there anymore. There's junkies, but no hippies.
They used
to be hippies. Yeah.
Turned into junkies. They're going hard now.
Oh my god. So that's
the big, oh
no, what do we do? This girl's
having the easiest fucking ride
into college possible, but there's hippies
around, God forbid. It's 2009. It's a lot of guys with mustaches. That's all it is. having the easiest fucking ride into college possible but there's hippies around god forbid
it's 2009 it's a lot of guys with mustaches that's all that's all it is yeah they're hipsters
probably more than hippies like for the mother to go hey you know what you can do you can get a
fucking job and go to community college and drive a 10 year old toyota corolla like every fucking
other kid your age or shut the fuck up and enjoy live above my garage and shut
your fucking mouth you spoiled bitch you know
what it takes you know what this fucking apartment
costs a month right
asshole so August
15th oh Jesus
August 15th
2009 he
runs a stop sign about a quarter
mile from his home
so why is he allowed to drive?
He shouldn't be allowed to drive, I don't think.
A sobriety test and blood alcohol test determined his alcohol level was, buckle up for this shit, 0.30.
Man alive.
0.30.
That's about four times the legal limit.
Dude, that is...
That's amdogged.
That is fucked up.
I don't care who you are.
Some people go, 0.12.
I'm not fucked up.
0.30, you are fucked up.
You're hammered.
That is messed up.
Wow, that is something else.
In 2009 or 2012? In 2009. Yeah. Wow. That is something else. In 2009 or 2012?
In 2009.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can get a ride by then.
Oh, my God.
That's, there's fucking, yeah, isn't there ride sharing?
Cabs are there.
Get a cab.
Dude.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
Point three O, this is your life.
And it's not like it's going to go under the radar and no one will know.
Your wife's on fucking TV every week.
Everyone knows about this.
And you've had several unbelievable high-profile interactions with police after alcohol already.
Yes.
Yeah.
And I find it probably a little curious, honestly.
Something tells me if we can get a hold of his police record.
He probably had duis before 2005
we just didn't know about it because his wife was on a fucking reality tv show where tmz would report
husband of reality star like it would have wouldn't have been real big news that some
relief pitcher hasn't pitched in the major leagues since fucking 1986 right you know got a dui that 1986. Got a DUI. Got his egg scrambled in 1992.
Yeah.
So they postpone a court sentencing because his attorney determined he was too drunk to report.
Too shithouse to be here.
Literally, he can't come to get sentenced for being shitfaced because he's too shitfaced.
He's too drunk to stare a judge in the eye.
Wow.
Too drunk to sit in a chair?
He won't be able to fixate on you, judge.
He'll be really...
So he pleads guilty on July 20th, or 12th, 2010,
to felony DUI,
and he is sent to the California Institution
for Men in Chino
for a 90-day diagnostic program
so mental health experts could determine if he was eligible for probation or not.
How fucked up are you, is what they're asking, basically.
Yeah.
Wow, that is amazing.
So then September 22, 2009.
Okay, that was the 15th he ran the stop sign.
September 22, he is charged with drunk driving again.
Oh, my God.
So he gets out of jail, does his diagnostic.
They must have let him out, and then he gets picked up again.
How many times has he driven drunk?
How many times has he driven sober?
Not a lot, I feel like.
No.
And baseball players used to do that kind of shit all the
time because all these guys books in like the 70s and like the early 80s if you got pulled over you
just go hey i'll get you some tickets to the ball game and the cops would be like yeah sure let me
get an autograph for my kid and they let you go yeah that shit doesn't happen anymore so
if it didn't happen larusa wouldn't have tried it that one time. That's right. You know what I mean?
One, he got arrested, like, what, eight times for the He'll Be an episode?
He got arrested.
He has so many DUIs, Tony La Russa.
Really?
Oh, my God.
He's the king of them.
I don't think he's been allowed to drive since the fucking 80s.
I think he's been banned from driving for decades.
It was very recent that he got arrested.
You know what I mean?
He's had so many, La Russa.
Really?
He's famous for them.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
And if it didn't work, then we wouldn't know that he tried it.
Absolutely, yeah.
He wouldn't have been like, I'll give it one shot.
Yeah.
He keeps doing it.
I've heard this works.
Oh, my God.
So November 19th, 2009, on tonight's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County,
Jenna Keough makes the gut-wrenching decision to, okay, I'm going to leave it up.
What does everyone think the gut-wrenching decision is going to be for her?
Sell her home and live in a smaller home because she doesn't have any money.
Nope.
The gut-wrenching decision to not to, you know, stop doing a reality show and concentrate on helping her family or whatever.
No, it's to pull back from spending so much time with the housewives in order to concentrate more on not her family, her real estate business.
Which is struggling in the sagging economy of 2009.
Not a good time to be a real estate agent in 2009.
But she wants to put all that effort into it.
Really double, redouble her efforts.
Pump it in there.
On shit that nobody's buying.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
She also wants to start really getting into the re-evaluation of her beanie baby collection that's
she's gonna check that out she's got a lot of those she invested so much in hummel figurines
they're gonna be worth something someday so but i mean i guess that's a good thing to do because
it turned around in california eventually pretty quickly and whatever so july of 2010 all right it's court for matt he plans to they've
become to an agreement to enter a guilty plea okay with no guarantees on punishment so a plea
that has no it's he's just entering it basically mercy of the court mercy please help because holy
shit obviously i'm a disaster so I need help. He does this.
He shows up at court.
His attorney says he's too drunk.
Don't come in here.
Sends him away.
Again, this happened again now.
Oh, my God.
Tells him to stop.
Go away. He's begging for mercy, Hammered?
Hammered.
Oh, my God.
Then he comes back to court for the second time. Now, another hearing they reschedule.
And he showed up again.
And his attorney said he still smelled of alcohol on another appearance.
But was, quote, sober enough to enter a plea.
They can't get him sober.
They just got to get him in court sober enough to say Gilsey to a judge.
Yeah.
It's five letters,
man.
That is wild.
Six,
six letters.
Sorry.
He can't go to court sober.
How do you not,
this is your livelihood,
man.
How do you not go to a judge and take this dead ass serious?
That,
that's not,
that's not even a point of like trying to just be a good person.
That,
that tells me his, his chemical dependency is so much that if he did come in sober, he'd look like he's having a seizure.
He'd be shaking and throwing up on the floor.
Yeah.
He needs that to even out probably.
Right.
Holy shit. The judge here, not too thrilled with him, obviously. His lawyer said he had a good career as a baseball player and was affected by low self-esteem and losing his family.
That's what that's what I would also put in.
He's been hit in the head and not, you know, he's a little loopy up there, but they would skip the low self-esteem and be like the man had a traumatic head injury.
Yeah, he had a bad brain injury.
His wife here, the Real Housewives lady, asked the judge to give her husband probation.
Give him probation.
She said he'll have a strong support network here, including their two college-age sons who live at home.
We'll all keep an eye on him.
Everyone.
The worst people for an alcoholic to be around is two college-age boys.
They're going to keep an eye on them.
Everything's fine.
They're going to make sure there's no booze anywhere.
A washed-out baseball prospect and a college kid.
They're going to make sure everything's fine.
Washed-out baseball prospect.
Two guys that find new ways to drink alcohol every day.
Yeah, every day.
Holy shit.
His lawyer told the judge that he's not a threat to society, which I beg to differ.
If you're driving around with a.30 fucking blood alcohol level, you are a threat to society, motherfucker.
And that is after hitting a vehicle and a pedestrian and then leaving.
And then leaving, wandering off.
Dangerous. He said, wandering off. Dangerous.
He said, get probation.
Come on.
What are we doing here?
Evaluators at Chino were actually split here.
One psychiatrist thought that he should get a prison sentence and another counselor recommended probation.
So the judge says, well uh let's see here you sir may fuck off a year in
prison jail a year he gets here um and three months probation as well okay um here they said
that uh he he'll end up serving about three or four months of the time because he was already
given 194 days of credit for time served
while he was sitting waiting for all this because they couldn't let him out because he'd have been
shit-faced again um yeah they the judge said i don't think taxpayers need to pay any more for him
he doesn't need to be in the prison system for any longer and um the uh he's had a lot of problems
here obviously the his wife again told the judge judge that his driving drunk was a stupid infraction and that she wasn't aware that he had started drinking again.
Are you kidding me?
Again?
I don't think he could.
Again?
That's what I mean.
When did he stop?
She said he's not a threat to society at all.
I think he certainly is.
at all.
I think he certainly is.
So February, yeah, February
9th, 2014
it's a banner day
on the Real Housewives of Orange County.
What happened? As Cara
Keough, who grew up right before
our eyes on the Real Housewives of Orange
County, is now a married
woman. Oh. Oh boy.
She said, I do.
I'm reading from this article to NFL player Kyle Bosworth.
Right.
Wow.
It was so perfect.
She gushed.
Best day ever.
Best day ever.
Holy shit.
The ceremony, as well as the reception, took place at Real Housewife Mom's house.
Of course.
Yeah.
Guests feasted on in and out
burger and barbecue what get it together people i know everybody loves in and out burger but it's
not what she was doing well yeah what's going on here the real estate business is hurting sweetheart
i'm telling you it's bad so much for best day ever this is how bad it is. It's very rough. Yeah, they said that she had a big thing.
Her bridesmaids included soccer star Alex Morgan.
Okay, I don't know who that is.
Yeah, whatever.
He said, oh, my beautiful wife, perfect day, love.
That's what she said.
And so, yeah, they're very excited.
So, yeah, they're very excited. November 15th, 2019, Jenna says that she's finally signed her divorce papers 16 years after separating.
They've been married this whole time.
Yep.
Since 2003, she's been hanging on.
Yep.
She apparently by this time is a successful real estate agent.
Yeah.
And she was on five seasons of The real housewives by the way can you imagine
being like i bought this house from a housewife for my housewife she told people quote people
magazine who if you listen to your stupid opinions you'll know why jimmy's laughing people are very
angry at that magazine seriously listen people were forced to read this article it's forced yeah they're like you motherfuckers as they read it i didn't ask for this meanwhile there's some poor people sitting
in their houses going what's going on with jenna keo i have not got my people in six months
somebody tell me somebody else is getting four issues a month going i didn't ask for any of
these i never ordered them they sent me four a month. Well, Trisha Yearwood's got a
pot of
retriever stew going.
Man.
So she said this,
quote, he'd been asking for
a divorce for years
and I felt he was well enough
to let him go. I didn't divorce
him because he wasn't well enough
to be divorced from me
pardon i got a feeling he's still not well enough wow she also said that quote he's engaged to
someone i think he wants to get married again so it's like okay he's getting remarried so he's not
even divorced and he's already engaged to somebody.
Well, she said, quote, we haven't been together in probably 15 or 20 years.
So he's been single.
He's been on his own, but now he's just ready to get married.
It was hard.
I'm from Wisconsin.
I'm a fighter.
You don't let go of things.
Those sound like complete non sequiturs together.
I'm from Wisconsin.
I'm a fighter.
You don't let go of this.
Is Wisconsin known for fighting? They're known for cheese. Not fighting. Right. They're known as a mild mannered people up there, aren't they? They're very chill. They're very chill. I'm a fighter. That's that famous Wisconsin attitude that everybody talks about.
that everybody talks about.
Oh, he's got a real attitude on him. He thinks he's from fucking Madison or something.
That's why he's...
Maybe that's why she likes him so much.
She's just used to people smelling like that.
Yeah, that's what it is.
She's like, ah, it smells just like my childhood basement.
The smell of beer farts.
I love it.
Ah, beer farts.
She said, though, it was it's been different
since 92 that's when she said he prefers the company of himself he's been alone for a long
time so much so that he wants to be remarried maybe he didn't like you right also there's
certainly something there that he doesn't like yeah um during the real housewives of orange county bravo
con panel what they had a fucking bravo con that would have a convention shitting me oh these cons
are the biggest thing where they just have everybody come there and it's a con all right
it's a con it's something's a con somebody's getting gone she said last week i signed the divorce papers 14 years later we were really
apart for our 27 married no 32 married years we were apart for maybe 22 i wanted to be there for
him if if he didn't have a voice i wanted to give him a voice i hope he gets half wow that would be
hilarious oh he is it's california it's community yeah he's getting half yeah unless unless he just acquiesces and lets her keep whatever she wants that's possible he says she
said the judge has to sign it maybe he did this week i haven't heard we at least agreed to
everything and properties are all divided and everything's done so they agreed to everything
they're not fighting about everything here which whatever i have now we haven't been together in
15 years let's just say whatever you have you have whatever i have i have now, we haven't been together in 15 years. Let's just say whatever you have, you have.
Whatever I have, I have.
What are we fucking talking about here?
And that's what they did because he's a man and he'll just do that.
Just so it stops?
Yeah.
I just don't want to deal with this anymore.
Yeah, I don't want to do this anymore.
Plus, he's lazy.
He's like, I'm shit-faced.
I can't have time to read all these paperwork and shit, talk to lawyers and stuff.
You take what you got and I'll keep what got, and we'll keep it real simple.
If we fight, it's going to drive me to drink.
Do I have a half a bottle of wine in your house?
Did I leave it there in 2003?
Because I'll take that, though.
I don't need you to drive me to drink.
I'll drive me to drink.
I'll drive when I'm done drinking.
I'll drive when I'm done drinking.
I don't need everybody.
In a pedestrian.
Pool. Grand The pedestrian. Pool.
Grand Theft Auto style.
I hate laughing at it so much because it's so serious, but that is so fucked up that he did it at all.
Fucking ridiculous.
Yeah.
So, wow.
She said, yeah, they spent a lot of time apart.
Kara, the daughter, said, my dad was on the road a lot and my mom was always working, so no one was at home when we got back from school it was good to have the dogs there a familiar face to come home
to why yeah she announced that she was listing her home by the way that year also her five bedroom
six bath orange county mansion listed for 2.9 million dollars in 2019. I'm shocked it's that low. That's impressive.
That's 2019.
Okay.
That's before everything spiked a little bit before COVID, real estate craziness, and all that kind of shit.
She said she was going to split her time between the West and the East Coast.
Yeah, but not the 2.9 with him.
That's not with him, though.
I'm keeping that for me.
I'm going to split my time with the coasts.
I gave him a bottle of Thunderbird.
That's what he asked for in the divorce, and he got it.
He said it was fine.
My daughter, Kara Bosworth, and my beautiful grandbaby, Decker, live in Jacksonville, Florida.
Oh, God.
Jesus.
He was playing for the Jaguars.
Yeah.
So I'm going to be bi-coastal.
Nope.
That's not what that means.
I get that technically one's on the East Coast, one's on the West Coast.
You're not bi-coastal if one of your coasts is Jacksonville.
That's not what that is.
That's great water, love.
That's not an ocean.
Sometimes I live in L.A. and sometimes I live in Jacksonville.
That's not I'm bi-coastal. At all.
Sometimes I live in LA.
Other times I fight gators.
Yeah, I fight gators and fucking just live in a Navy town.
At the Publix.
Holy shit.
So I'm going to be bi-coastal.
Wow, that is really.
That is culture shock going from Orange County
to fucking Jacksonville.
Wow. I mean mean there's oranges yeah and i do not apologize for anything we're saying about jacksonville it's not a great place at all
oh my there's she said cara and kyle are expecting their second child as well oh man so they're
expecting a second child and uh jenna said i'm in the process of getting licensed in Florida so I can flip houses with
Kyle Bosworth, my son-in-law.
You're not trying to start a reality show, are you, between your real housewives and
he's an NFL player and we're going to start a house flipping business?
That sounds like a reality show.
In Jacksonville.
And she said, I'm ready to date.
Oh.
Oh.
She can go date in the Jacksonville pool? I'm ready to date. Oh. Oh. She's going to go date in the Jacksonville pool?
Going to go.
That's going to be good.
I can't.
I'll watch that shit.
Well, there is a guy that owns his own gator wrestling farm.
Yeah, she's going to date a lot of one-armed men.
He's got potential.
Well, he's got two.
One of them's fine.
Okay, it's cut off at the forearm, but it's still most of an arm,
and he uses that nub better than most guys use a full hand man i'm telling you owns his own farm i think it's
gonna be good they said what are you looking for in a man and she said this he needs to be brilliant
and funny and he needs to have enough money to travel i don't want to have to support somebody
in my old age don't't look in Jacksonville.
Brilliant and funny and rich. Okay. And he's going to go out and you're 68 years old right now.
That's what he's looking for. I'm looking for Jerry Seinfeld. No, you're not. No, you're not.
You're looking for, no, that guy is like, if a guy is in his late sixties and he's brilliant and
funny and rich, he's like, I'm going to get get a 45 year old that's what he thinks or younger but i mean that's one who's you know keeping it yeah yeah i think i
could i think i could swing a 45 year old here i thought i could get a 38 year old watch me
a 65 year old lady they'd be like no that's funny no no no no what's your daughter up to. Yeah, you got any kids? You got any kids? They hot? So,
April 14th,
2020,
yikes, Kara's newborn son
McCoy dies
after experiencing
I've never heard of this before, a compressed
umbilical cord.
Oh, while he was in the womb?
Yeah, we'll find out here.
Yeah.
Shoulder diatasia Oh, while he was in the womb? Yeah, we'll find out here. Has to be. Because afterwards, that's what they do is compress him.
Shoulder ditossia and a compressed umbilical cord during birth.
Oh, no.
Died during birth.
Yeah.
So they didn't know that he was pressing.
Somehow the umbilical cord got pinched somewhere.
It got, yeah.
Like a water hose pinched off, yeah.
She gave birth on April 6th at 3.10 a.m.
And the kid, Jesus, the kid was huge too, the dead kid here.
That sounds awful, but the kid died. It is.
Was 11 pounds, four ounces.
Holy shit.
That's a fucking enormous child.
That's a one-year-old.
That's a future defensive lineman is what that is.
My God. uh yeah and they
said that mccoy she said quote mccoy surprised us all with his size and strength and overall
perfection he joined our heavenly father will live forever in the hearts of his loving parents
his adoring sister and those that received his life-saving gifts because they donated his organs. So there's babies that need them.
Yeah, that's fucking...
Poor little guy.
Poor little guy.
That's rough.
Jesus Christ.
So, yeah, that's wild.
She then...
There's a bunch of Bible quotes in here
that I'm not going to get into.
She just went on a Bible post quote
and fucking rant here.
There's a John 16,
20 and all that.
Not getting,
no,
I was going to say three 16 didn't come into this one here,
which would have been funny if she's just,
if she posted Austin three 16,
I would have been laughing my ass off.
Wow.
Thing.
That's fuck.
That's gotta be horrendous.
That is, um, yeah, that's fuck that's gotta be horrendous that is um yeah to go full term healthy baby go to deliver it and he fucking he's so big that he pinches the cord oh my god that's apparently
how much worse does it get probably took a while in birth maybe to get him out because he's so big
so that's how this happened sitting on that on that cord too long, did it?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Half in and half out.
Fucking, I don't know.
So May 1st, 2020 here.
64 years old Matt is at this point in time here.
Yeah.
He dies this day.
What?
Yeah.
May 1st, 2020.
Wow.
He dies here.
Yep.
They said, here's the president of the Oakland A's.
Said Matt was a great baseball man and a proud Oakland A.
He had an incredible passion for the game, and we're lucky to have him and his wealth of knowledge alongside us for the years he worked as a special assistant.
So the daughter I feel terrible for.
Her kid fucking died on April 14th, and then her dad died on May 1st.
Get out of here.
Two weeks.
Two fucking weeks.
Think about that shit.
Holy, lost her kid and her dad.
Yeah, it was a blood clot, apparently, that happened.
In his brain, probably?
A pulmonary embolism in his lungs.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Just a freak thing.
Yeah, they said, Jenna said he wasn't sick.
Yeah.
He just died.
It was fine.
Everything was fine.
She said he was so young and pretty reasonably healthy.
That's a guy who never ate sugar and ate really healthy.
And he has no family history of pulmonary embolisms.
This is just out of the blue.
It can happen to anybody.
But, babe, he put enough booze in him that turns directly to sugar.
He ate really healthy when he was, what, not drinking his dinner?
Give me a fucking break.
Stop it.
Point three-oh is bad for you.
Every part of your fucking body that's bad for.
If you're doing that on a regular basis, it doesn't matter what you're eating.
He didn't do it just once.
There's no way that was the only time.
You could be eating nothing but kale and gluten-free eight-grain fucking seed bread,
and you're still going to be a disaster physically.
0.30?
Internally, you're fucked.
That is no good here.
But I don't know if that causes pulmonary embolisms or not.
That just seems like a freak thing here.
I know alcohol is not good for your respiratory system, any of your nervous system.
It's not good for anything.
Yeah.
Any of your system. You're just drinking poison. It's literally poison. Yeah. That. It's not good for anything. Yeah. Any of your system.
You're just drinking poison.
It's literally poison.
Yeah.
That's why it fucks you up.
Yeah.
It's literally bad for you.
Let's have enough to be fun, but not enough to kill me.
What do you say?
All right.
It's a precarious balance, man.
That's what we're doing.
So, yeah, they said the cause of the blood clot was not immediately clear.
So the blood clot was not immediately clear.
And she said, Jenna, that leading up to his death, he was having a really hard time adjusting to staying at home. And this was during COVID.
This was the beginning of COVID.
So right in 2020.
Yeah.
This was May 1st, 2020.
It was the heart of it.
So she said he just wasn't used to staying at home.
She said, quote, he used to he was used to riding his bike 30 miles a day or 20 miles a day, so probably the inactivity didn't help him.
He went from doing that always to just sitting on his ass.
So she said that he had signed the divorce papers, though, because they were like, are you going to get that done?
They said that he was apparently eating lunch with his girlfriend, Claudia.
And Jenna said, quote, he was watching the races, his favorite thing to do every day.
He would watch the races.
And I guess his fiance left the room for a few minutes.
And when she came back, she thought he might be sleeping, but then realized he was dead.
There's no snore happening.
No snoring and no breathing.
And his eyes are wide open.
So that makes it.
I don't know if that's true.
So this is, like I said, two weeks after that.
That is horrible. After the grandson died.
Heartbreaking.
Yeah, that's hard.
Jenna said, quote, you know what?
To lose a grandchild and an ex-husband in less than three weeks has been rough.
Yeah.
Jenna said that the kids are, quote, they're all taking it badly.
I'll bet.
I would think Kara's probably taking it horribly.
Yeah.
I'll bet several of them are hammered right now.
Hammered.
Let's have one of the dads.
There we go.
So, yeah, she put a post up saying, Daddy, please take care of my son.
Teach him the circle change up and how to find forever friends.
You're on grandpa duty in heaven now.
Holy fuck, man.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, my God.
Ouch.
That was on Instagram.
She posted that.
Jesus, that got some likes, I bet.
Twist that motherfucker. She posted that. Jesus, that got some likes, I bet. Twist that motherfucker.
Whew, man.
She then said that, quote, it's my favorite place was always on your shoulders.
It makes me smile knowing McCoy will be there with you right there on your shoulders.
It wasn't always perfect, but I wouldn't change it for the world.
You taught me more than you'll ever know, and I hope that I make you proud.
Kick back and enjoy the eternal sunshine. We just gave him a baby to watch now yeah he's got responsibility
i'm up at 11 pound kid what are you talking about i'm enjoying shit sunshine i'm up all night he's
got a a newborn the size of a six month old on his shoulders he doesn't have time to relax christ
you're gonna drive the man to drink.
Ah.
Jesus Christ.
Wow.
That's amazing.
I feel terrible for him, though.
That's awful.
Fuck, yeah, yeah.
So May 29, 2001.
Let's talk about Shane a little bit here.
How's he doing?
OK, well, I mean, he's his mother's a playboy model. His father's a professional baseball player. He grew up in a big mansion. So he was called by TV company to make a reality show here.
And yeah, this was this is we'll talk. That was the that wasn't him. That was the Real Housewives. So talking about the the whole Real Housewives thing and how it spread into all this.
Shane said he couldn't have known how big the franchise could become. He was 18 when the plot pilot was filmed. He was just a high school student. And he said the show's producers portrayed him as a jock with a foul
mouth and a bad attitude he said i was a punk who thought he was cool i came from a family of actors
and athletes and yet had to be humbled by real life he by the way he works in real estate shane
in florida yeah um he said though he one time he's playing on the show for the Kane County Cougars, a minor league team, and he knew his mother's film crew planned to watch him play.
And he thought that was cool. But when he got to the stadium, they said that he said that he had been relegated to the substitutes bench.
Ouch. He said, I couldn't think of anything worse. He texted his mother begging her not to come to the game.
Think of anything worse.
He texted his mother begging her not to come to the game.
Yeah, please don't come.
Film him sitting on the bench.
But the show's producers put pressure on her to go onto the field and attempt to talk to her son.
So he is pissed off, doesn't want them there to begin with.
This is his job, mind you.
They're not fucking around.
He's a professional baseball player. This is hard to do.
He's got a real housewife of Orange county running down into the dugout film crew
to say why aren't you playing honey what's going on
so shane said he was fucking horrified he said quote i walked away and said get the fuck away
from me and that was on real housewives so that's what everybody thought he was he told his mother who's
just there to see him to get the fuck away from him what a rude son what a foul-mouthed punk yeah
and they he said also the producers edited the incident to make it look as though he had sworn
at his mother for no reason they didn't have the whole thing leading up where he said no no don't
come down they just made it sound like she showed up and everything was happy and she was like hi baby and he was like get the fuck away
from me not that he told her not to come then not to come on the field and then she ignored both of
what he asked for and came yeah with a film crew right wow well there's there's literally no reason
to film that anything there because he's not playing the only thing to film is a crazy reaction and they got it yep and that's what they're looking for or disappointment
to look at him he's not playing and she can complain maybe she'll yell at the coach maybe
it'll get that on film you know i mean whatever it happens so uh he said i got death threats for
that really these real housewives people are fucking nuts. What the fuck, man? How dare you talk to, yeah.
People wanted to kill him?
You don't get death threats for anything nowadays.
We've gotten death threats, for Christ's sake.
You'll get death threats for anything.
It's just the way it is.
So, that's life.
Baseball fans of that minor league team threatened to cancel their season tickets.
They.
If they didn't get rid of him.
Yeah, they maybe gave
death threats too. Making a joke
of our franchise, I'll fucking murder
you. No, no, no. It was because he was mean to his mom
on TV. Oh, really?
And it was edited by producers to look meaner.
It wasn't because of that. It was really that.
That's all it was. They were mad at that.
His manager transferred him to another
team. He got brought up, which they wouldn't bring you up to a higher level to stop that from happening.
But anyway, he couldn't hack it, and he gets cut anyway.
So he said, quote, that probably led to a shorter baseball career.
Two years after that incident, I was done.
Yeah.
He said that if he posts about his mother on social media even to this day he gets abuse for
it on that incident in 2008 still get shit that is amazing he said 15 years oh he said they say
you're a terrible person you should be ashamed of how you treated your mother 15 years ago for one second
that was edited on a reality tv show to look worse than it was obviously half of his life ago
half of his life he said people assume that i treated my mother terribly my whole life but
that's not the case it's like that was ever he said have you ever said anything disrespectful out of rage to your parents
who the fuck hasn't he got it immortalized think about that though think about
things you've done in your life that if it was on a reality tv show they would talk about still
on it that you did wow how awesome is that?
Fifteen years ago.
You should be ashamed of yourself, Shane.
Shame to yourself for how you treat your mother.
When you're a child.
How dare you.
It's funny because one moment on TV will last forever oh god yeah if you say sally field people will still go they like me they really like me she had a one two second thing on the oscars in like 1974 and it's
been fucking nothing with that since like that really fucking cements there's a lot of guys you
just say their name and you see a blink of everything that happened to them.
Yeah, and sports is huge like that.
Oh, God, yeah.
I mean, Donnie Moore's whole career, that Patreon episode we did, that whole career is one bad pitch to Dave Henderson.
Meanwhile, the rest of it, it's crazy.
So he also shot his wife, everybody.
Think about it.
There's that, yeah.
There's that.
So he said that he doesn't blame them.
that so he said that uh he he doesn't blame them he said i never blamed them because they were because that was who they were prior to me being born meaning his parents being
famous my mom was an actress and my dad was an athlete but the swearing incident made it bad
he said that that's what caused his mother to quit the show afterwards was that everybody was
giving her kid a lot of shit and they probably also it would have been five years. They,
they get new ones in every few years.
Yeah.
So in 2009, uh,
she explained that she did so to protect her children.
That's why she quit.
She said the kids enjoyed it the first few years and then it got to be tough
on them with editing.
You can hit a home run and it will show you striking out.
That's a fact.
Yeah.
Well,
it's a fact too. I, I don't know how anybody fucking. That's a fact. Yeah, well, it's a fact, too.
I don't know how anybody fucking does that, by the way.
Anybody goes on a reality show knowing,
no matter what you do or say,
they're going to just make it whatever they feel like the story can be.
You lose every time.
If you get enough footage of people,
you can have them doing anything.
Anything.
Saying anything here.
So the Real Housewives of Orange County has a 4.2 out of 10 rating on imdb
great show so people are hate watching this shit and that's it um it's said at his time of death
that he had a five hundred thousand dollar net worth but as we know who the hell knows if that's
true here um yeah but one thing i have to say there was no real good time for it in here.
But after his whole life, he died in a weird way, got hit in the head, all of this.
I mean, you kind of feel bad for the guy because of what happened to his career.
He could have had a comeback, but not nearly as bad as you feel.
Because it's for Matt Keough, number one, an eight-year-old in Charlotte who was in the newspaper Fishing on Earth Day.
Oh, is that right?
Good for you, Matt.
Yeah, when you look him up.
Also, Matt Keough, a, quote, experienced digital marketer in the greater Cleveland area.
I mean, we all have social media, Matt.
I'm a digital marketer.
Yeah, I post things on my social media.
Facebook page, Matt.
Matt. Matt.
Also, Matt Keogh, professor of acquisition management.
Wow.
That seems crazy.
Defense acquisition strategy.
Some corporate shit there.
And Matt Keogh, hospitality consultant.
Yeah.
Get that booze flowing.
Where at?
Cape and Islands Hospitality, South Dennis, Massachusetts.
Oh, I'm sure it was at a Hyatt.
That would be amazing.
Got to marry up.
Yeah.
That is Matt Keough, everybody.
Wow.
My favorite one's still the fisherman.
That is fucking, yeah.
Dude, that is crazy.
What a story.
The fact that he showed up to court drunk is wild.
Unbelievable.
More than once.
More than once. More than once.
And the fact that he got hit in the fucking head, and that changed just his whole life,
the whole trajectory, the whole path and course.
I tried to say four words at once there.
His whole life.
His entire fucking life just totally changed off the rails.
The track of his life, everything changes based on being hit in the fucking head in a very tragic
incident so that is a weird story and he didn't kill anybody so that's good he had a non-murderous
episode for a week so look at that we did it everybody so barely christ barely made it out
alive so that's matt keogh everybody if you like the show tell everyone about it that's the thing
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What you're going to get this week is
for Crime and Sports, which you'll of course have
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We are going to talk about more theme park disasters.
Oh, boy.
Because those are some of the most fun episodes we've ever done of any show ever.
So we'll talk about that.
That's going to be a blast.
And then for small town murder, which, of course, you'll also have access to.
Yes. We're going to talk about this fucked up documentary that's out right now about this really fucked up group.
It's called the Twin Flames.
Yeah.
It is incredible.
Wow.
It's something.
It's weird.
It's some culty shit and it's crazy.
So we'll talk all about that shit and get into who the hell is doing this and what they did and what happened here.
Patreon.com slash crime and sports.
And you get a shout out at the end of the show.
You bet.
Which is right fucking now.
Jimmy, hit me with the names of the most wonderful sons of bitch bastards that have ever fucking happened.
Jimmy, hit me with them now.
This week's executive producers are Brandi Huntley, Lauren Kell.
Happy birthday, Lauren.
Happy birthday.
Kyle Norwig and Melissa Miller.
You guys are fantastic.
Thank you so much.
Other producers this week are Peyton Meadows, Janice Hill, Jake Olete.
Olete?
Ole.
Tiffany.
Nope, that's Tyler.
Tyler Vail.
Tiffany Spurlock.
Mel Beauty.
Brandi Morris.
Steena Madu.
JD.
John Husk.
Gina Johnson.
Caitlin Stein.
Sarah Warenda.
Maria Hadfield.
Brad.
Meemaw Rob. Meemaw Rob.aw Rob, Jay Chia, Haley Kirstein, Ashley Dennert, Kayla Bell, Jamie Washburn.
You need to sign on a pronunciation halfway through it.
I'll figure it out. Christina Blakely, Blakely Mitchell, Aaron Robb, Audi Justice, Diana Kendall, Paul Eason,
Rowan McLeod, Michelle Porter, Antonin Murray, Jamie Gregory, David Wood, Christopher Camposio,
Abby Havorka, a little too Italian, Lynn Miller, Kathy with no last name. Joe Threddle. Threddy. Threddle. Devin Williams.
Jess Benson.
Melissa Rapace.
Smith.
Tasha Nicole.
Monty Buckles.
Nikki would know last name.
Mar Youngs.
What is it?
Monty Buckles sounds like a ventriloquist puppet's name.
Sorry, Monty Buckles, but it does.
May Youngs.
Hand Baby.
I don't know what that means.
It's a wrestling reference.
Oh. Oh. I know what that means. It's a wrestling reference. Oh.
Oh, I know what it is.
Brooke and Joe Bill.
Elizabeth with no last name.
Golden Shaver.
Lana with no last name.
Joe with no last name.
Kelly Jordan.
Caitlin Starink.
Kneebone.
Kara with no last name.
Whitney Jones.
Christian Vannersdale.
Ollie Ver.
Oliver.
Probably Oliver.
Noel Johnson.
No, it's Ollie Ver probably i think that's how you pronounce that
jimmy jesus christ get with the program ken and barra ames uh linus olmquist if that is for real
your name linus that is amazing i wish i wish i would have thought of it a long time all right
rough rack and hall rawl ralkin racket rackle on ch Chad with no last name. Beef Bag. Nikki Lenardi.
Lenardy.
Lenardy, probably.
Dakota with no last name.
Becca Fortunato.
Fortunato.
Nate Vaziu.
Tyler Chrisman.
Carla Ayala.
Luke Hardy.
BQ05.
Side, Side, Sidle.
I don't know.
With no last name.
Deanna Reese.
Caleb with no last name. Christy Reese. Caleb, with no last name.
Christy Corcoran.
Corcoran.
Nikolai Stepanov.
Christy B.
Miranda Fincher.
Sydney Rae I, I guess.
Danina Hayes.
Danina.
Nathan Charlton.
Sally Leilang.
David, with no last name.
E.E. Geddes.
Rose Smith.
Randa Jade. Megan Lynn Paulier. David, no last name. E.E. Geddes. Rose Smith. Randa Jade.
Megan Lynn Paulie.
Paul, Paul maybe.
Michael, Mike Luciano.
Emily Hicks.
Rebecca Jurek.
Christopher Taylor.
Pharaoh Fan.
Emily Foster.
Joey Johnson.
Caitlin Menzel.
Cammie.
Longs Dawn.
Oh boy.
Elizabeth Nedrow.
Patrick West.
Amanda Matheson. Nicole Davies. Nicole Monger, Haley Kahn,
come in, come in.
Oh, good for you, Haley.
Susan Whitcoff, my name is Jamie, damn it.
Julia, nope, that's Yulia Kakova.
Mike McDaniel, Scott McKenzie, Jeremy Smith, and Pete with no last name, but all of our patrons.
You guys are terrific.
Thank you.
Thank you so much, everybody, you wonderful, crazy bastards.
We appreciate all that you do for us, honestly.
Thank you for everything.
And, yeah, don't show up for court shit-faced, by the way. Unreal.
Just a tip from us for the holidays.
By the way, I just pictured Matt Keough walking into court walking into court hammer going this is the worst bar
ever
that chick up there's got like
a baggy robe on I can't even see her tits
if you dress
sexier you'd make better tips
that's all I'm saying
and he tried to give the judge a five and then she
sentenced him to a year
sometimes some drunk people are real drunk they find that one little phrase that they keep saying over and over again.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll bet his is, I'm just saying.
I'm just saying.
And he smiles and shrugs with one shoulder.
I'm just saying.
You know what I mean?
So there you go, everybody.
Thank you so much.
Keep coming back week after week.
If you want to follow us on social media,
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