Crime in Sports - #45 - Everything But A Killer - The Ceaselessness of Alvin Robertson
Episode Date: December 6, 2016This week, we take in a hearty helping of criminal activities, with a man who was has a lot of experience both on the court, and in the courtroom. His career was just a distraction for his re...al passion, getting arrested. His crimes range from stupid, to hilarious, to just plain scary. Ex-girlfriends, wives, night club employees, naked prostitutes, and high level team employees... None of them were exempt from his rages, and aggressive behavior. It's a ride on the crazy train, from start to finish, just like we like it!Violate the terms of your probation, kick in a door, and set the place on fire with Alvin Robertson!!Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman New episodes every Tuesday!!Please subscribe, rate, and review!Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts!Head to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things Crime in Sports!For merchandise: crimeinsports.threadless.comCheck out James and Jimmie's other show: Small Town Murder Follow us on social media!Facebook: facebook.com/crimeinsportsInstagram: instagram.com/smalltownmurderTwitter: twitter.com/MurderSmall Contact the show: crimeinsports@gmail.comDonate on Patreon: patreon.com/crimeinsportsPayPal: paypal.me/crimeinsports See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome back to Crime and Sports.
Yay!
Jimmy, your yay is an understatement this week.
I'm telling you, my friend.
My name is James Petrigallo.
I'm here with my co-host.
I'm Jimmy Wissman.
I'm so fucking pumped tonight.
I am so excited.
If you're a new listener, you've chosen the right week to join up
because it is just wall-to-wall crime and stupidity.
It's a mountain of crazy, and we are going to take you to
the top of it let me tell you the tippy tippy top the the range of arrests this guy it's he just
he can't not get arrested he's one of these guys that no matter what he does there's going to be
an arrest and then he's on probation for some things and that's another charge and it's just
like a snowball effect of nude knickery yeah like ro like Robert Downey Jr. The man's got range. The man can play anything.
Absolutely. He's like Robert Downey Jr., but a little more of a violent lunatic.
I don't think Robert Downey quite had some of the charges this young man had back in his day.
But before we get into that, a couple of things. First of all, I hope everyone enjoyed last week's Brian Spencer episode.
Because I had no idea that guy existed.
And now that I do, I'm a little frightened for the knowledge of it.
But I miss him already.
I do, I do. I felt bad for him.
It's been a week. I knew him for a day.
I kind of felt bad.
I knew him for two hours.
He was one of the first guys that we've had where we're like,
Oh good, he got acquitted.
We're like, that's great.
Because we kind of have a theme going of people who didn't end up paying for whatever crime they were up for in the last couple episodes.
Chris Adams, he got killed before his manslaughter case came.
And Spencer got acquitted and then killed.
Right.
So it's like, and we're going to continue on with that tonight
with a very, very interesting story.
Before we get into that,
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uh but never mind all that stuff guys never mind all that because the fellow we have for you
tonight wow i i didn't i knew him as a player like i remember him as a good player and i had
no idea any of this happened.
And there's a list.
There's a Wikipedia list.
I'm sure a lot of you
have looked at it.
It's the criminal athletes,
athletes convicted of crimes.
Right.
And it's a list
from every sport
and it's seriously,
seriously incomplete
because I keep finding
people like this
outside of that.
every list that I've ever seen
on the internet.
It's poor.
It's piss poor
in terms of like,
of just anything that's vague.
Nobody covers anybody that's just on the fringe.
It's always fucking OJ.
And then they put Plaxico Burris in there who shot himself in the leg.
He's the number eight worst criminal.
We have rape up to our eyeballs in rape. Sean's over the strip club for Pete's sake.
Right.
Where's Todd Payne, god damn it?
Yeah, up to our eyeballs in rape and trafficking and mayhem.
Yeesh.
Tonight, no exception, Jimmy.
I love it.
No exception.
Tonight we have for you Alvin Robertson.
Welcome, Alvin.
Welcome to the club, Alvin.
This is not a club you want to be a part of.
Scumbag squad, brother.
No, scumbag squad.
He joined our club here on July 22, 1962, when he was born in Barberton, Ohio.
Okay.
Barberton, Ohio.
Went to Barberton High School.
Not a lot on his early life.
It is like somebody needs to write an autobiography or someone needs to do something on him.
There's just not a lot on his early life.
Up to high school, it was really difficult to find any information, basically.
Anyway, he grows up to be 6'3", 185 pounds.
He's a shooting guard.
He's a basketball player.
And he's a really great player.
He turns into a phenomenal player and then turns into an even more prolific criminal.
So he's born in the 60s.
That puts him at 18, near 1980.
Absolutely, yeah.
So that puts that man in the heyday of when the NBA was starting to get really goddamn
big.
And that's the thing.
That's when he comes in the time when they start to make some money.
He's on the wave of the guys who start to make a million a year rather than back in
He's the shooting guard that kind of paved the way for Michael Jordan to exist.
Well, no, they were drafted in the same year.
Oh, is that right?
We didn't tell it.
He was from the greatest draft in NBA history.
Oh, I guess that makes sense.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's wild.
He ended up, he went to junior college his freshman year.
Okay.
Now, I don't know if this is, a lot of times guys go to junior college because they're
not recruited by the colleges they want to play for, or a lot of other times they know they're going to be redshirted their freshman year and they want to
play so they go to a junior college they can come into college with more steam under them and get
right in the starting lineup as a soft it's like interning absolutely and i feel like that's what
he did here because he was he was a really really good player he played for crowder junior college
which i had never heard of really and i had to look it up have you heard of it i feel like i have i've never heard of crowd i don And I had to look it up. Have you heard of it? I feel like I have.
I've never heard of Crowder.
I don't know a lot of junior colleges.
Maybe it's a player whose last name is Crowder.
Probably.
Probably.
It's in Neosho, Missouri.
No, I've never heard of it.
No.
I've never heard of that fucking town.
On second thought, I don't know where the fuck that is.
No idea.
Godforsaken hellhole, whatever.
No clue.
So he gets out of there, and he's like,
Missouri, I can't be here anymore.
Nia Sho, Missouri, I got to get out of here.
I need to go to Arkansas.
That's where it's at.
That's worse, I think, probably.
But whatever.
The barbecue's probably good.
Oh, I'm sure it's really good.
He goes to the University of Arkansas.
So he goes to play for the Razorbacks.
He goes to do something real.
1981, he goes there.
His freshman year, decent year. His freshman year, decent
year. It was his sophomore year, actually, but
his first year in Arkansas. He played in
28 games, which was a full season back then.
7.3 points, 2.2 rebounds,
1.8 assists,
37 steals, though, in 28 games,
which is pretty good.
He doesn't play a lot of minutes. This is just
introducing him into it. His next
year, his junior year,
he's one of the greatest defensive players in the history of basketball.
We'll get to his stats.
He played, I guess, his junior year, his second year at Arkansas.
He played in 28 games, 14.2 points, 4.9 rebounds, 3.6 assists, 88 steals now in 28 games.
So now he's stacking them.
He means business.
Watch your ass around him.
Don't you dribble on me.
He's coming for you.
You better shoot.
Absolutely.
You better do something.
That scares people, especially in college.
That's intimidating as fuck when you can't work around a guy.
He's just going to take it from you.
1983, 1984 is his senior year.
Plays in 32 games, 15.5 points, 5.5 rebounds, 6 even on the assists, 92 steals.
Jesus.
He's a beast.
He's an All-American that year also.
So I think he's second team All-America.
Pretty nasty.
He's picking pockets all over the place.
He's picking pockets.
He's coming out of college.
He's highly touted.
People want that kind of defense, especially on the perimeter, a 6'3 guy,
a shooting guard that can shut down a scorer. Absolutely. I mean, think about, like, fast Eddie Johnson's in touted. People want that kind of defense, especially on the perimeter, a 6'3 guy, a shooting guard that can shut down a scorer.
Absolutely.
I mean, think about, like, fast Eddie Johnsons and the league guys like that at this point.
He's paving the way for his criminal career with stealing.
With stealing, exactly.
And it's funny.
That's awesome.
He's good at stealing his entire life.
June 19, 1984, from the Felt Forum in New York City,
which is a little offshoot of Madison Square Garden in the same building there.
He's the NBA draft, 1984 NBA draft.
He's drafted by the San Antonio Spurs, number seven overall.
This rings a bell.
First round.
This was the draft that just, I mean, Olajuwon was number one.
Wow.
Jordan was number three.
Charles Barkley was number five. John Stockton was number three. Charles Barkley was number five.
John Stockton was number 16.
Holy shit.
So chock full of Hall of Famers.
This draft pretty much produced the 92 Dream Team.
This whole draft pretty much.
It's amazing.
That's hilarious.
It's wild.
And he's number seven, so he's drafted right in the mix with those guys.
He was thought of just as highly as two spots below Charles Barkley.
So that tells you a lot.
And above John Stockton.
Was he the second shooting guard taken in that draft, too?
I believe he was, yeah, because Bowie was second.
I can't remember who fourth was, but yeah, I think he was.
Also, too, 1984.
What a great year for him.
Has a great senior year at Arkansas.
Drafted number seven in the mix of all these great players.
You know, drafted in a time when they get all those great players,
but he's picked above people that are amazing.
That would really, I mean, now,
hindsight 2020, it would stroke your ego now,
but then it probably didn't.
He didn't know.
You don't know that.
You don't know that Jordan's going to be Jordan
and Olajuwon's going to be Olajuwon.
But I mean, still though, they were like,
yeah, the handful of guys that were like,
hey, you got Olajuwon, Jordan, Barkley,
Bowie,
and that Robertson guy.
You know,
he was in the mix.
It's crazy.
Now in 1984,
his year continues
to get better.
In July,
he goes and plays
for the Olympic team.
Because back then
they didn't play with pros.
The U.S. team
was always amateurs,
college players.
So he's on the Olympic team.
They play from July 29th
to August 10th,
1984.
That's the L.A LA Olympics in Los Angeles there.
US won the gold that year.
They won 8-0.
So he's got himself a gold fucking medal.
He's got a gold medal, this guy.
Well, I don't know if he has it now.
He's a world-class Olympic athlete.
He may have sold his gold medal at some point for provisions, we'll call it.
But for now, he's a gold medalist.
He's a world-class athlete speaking of 92 dream team on this 84 team patrick ewing michael jordan chris mullen sam
perkins wayman tisdale and they had to throw surprising had to throw a couple of white guys
they had contact conkac and joe klein on there too a couple of shitty stiff white centers we'll
get those guys out there i don't know they'll'll clog the lane or something. Joe Klein. The big dog dick. He was such a
fucking dildo. Konkak got that big
contract from the Hawks in like 90.
Everyone was like, what the hell's going on? Why are you paying
that guy? He looks like John Tesh.
Seven foot tall John Tesh.
Why are you paying him that money?
Now Alvin in the Olympics
he had 7.8 points a game,
2.8 rebounds, 2.8 assists, and 2.1
steals per game.
Led the team in steals.
He'll lead every team he's ever on in steals.
Wow.
Now, 84-85, he's a rookie with the Spurs.
Comes out, doesn't have a tremendous year.
He's okay.
9.2 points, 3.4 rebounds, 3.5 assists, 1.6 steals.
Not too shabby.
Coming off the bench, that's a nice guy for when you've got to give somebody a rest.
That's what I mean. He's a rookie, he's a kid,
and back then, too, rookies would ease their way into the lineups, that sort of thing.
Now, January 1985,
in the middle of his rookie year,
he has his first brush with the law that we know
of anyway. He's arrested at 4 o'clock
in the morning in Fayetteville, Arkansas.
Nothing good happens at 4 a.m.
Nothing good, especially in Fayetteville, Arkansas. Nothing good happens at 4 a.m. Nothing good, especially in Fayetteville, Arkansas.
You're either going to get woods raped or someone's going to give you meth.
Either one.
That's what you're going to get there.
Woods raped.
Woods raped.
Absolutely.
It's some woods raping going on.
There's splinters happening.
There's forest.
Forest diddling happening.
I don't know how you'd want to put it.
Forest diddling, woods raping.
Go back and forth on it.
It's an outstanding speeding ticket that he hasn't taken care of.
He gets pulled over at four in the morning.
They arrest him.
So that's mild, right?
Hey, a speeding ticket.
Maybe he forgot about it.
He was just in the Olympics.
Right.
He's got a hectic life.
Yeah.
He drafted.
He's got to figure out plays.
And he's got to get along with, you know,
whoever's on the team.
He's got George Girvin next to him.
He's got to try to be his best.
Yeah, that's right.
Girvin was playing that hot.
I think he was on the Spurs then, too.
That's incredible.
So, I mean, anyway, 85, 86, 86 the next season he's an all-star now he wins the defensive
player of the year award in the nba and he's the wins the most improved player award also in the
nba he's december 85's player of the month he finishes the year with 17 points a game, 6.3 rebounds, 5.5 assists,
3.7 steals
a game. A game. A game.
Led the league in that. And a star is born.
And a star is born. He is taking your shit.
Watch out.
You are an old lady who can't see anybody.
Have you ever seen,
he's like the guy, have you ever seen that
horrible, horrible video that they
was on? I believe it was Opie and Anthony back in the day,
and Jim Norton was commentating over it.
It's a man punching a 90-year-old woman in the face and taking her purse.
Yeah.
And her hat pops off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And Norton has a ball with it.
I feel like that's this guy.
That's an every NBA player is just a 90-year-old lady with a purse
trying to get out of the elevator.
Blasts her in the melon.
Blasts them right in the eye and steals it from him like they have no chance of recovery.
And that's every play drawn.
That's everything.
He has one of the greatest games in the history of the NBA on February 18, 1986.
This is so huge.
If you're not a sports fan, by the way, the stats will be over in a minute or two, so don't worry.
But let me explain how huge this is and what this means and how this guy...
Because we have to explain what made this guy such a big deal
and where all of this reverence was coming from.
And the fact that he didn't have to be a fuck-up.
Oh, no, he didn't have to be at all.
He had this in front of him.
A game February 18, 1986 against the Phoenix Suns.
He has 20 points, 11 rebounds 10 assists
and 10 steals a quadruple double that is a quadruple double my friends get the fuck out
quadruple double and at the time he is the second player in history to do that ever wow ever the
only other guy at that time was nate thurman who did it in 74 for the Bulls. He was a seven-time
all-star center, who at one point averaged 20 rebounds a game in a whole season.
Holy shit!
Twice. Averaged 20 rebounds a game twice in two different seasons.
And that man didn't ever break the law. I want to talk about him.
No, he did.
That's awesome.
He looked like Carl Winslow. He had like a bald head. He looked like he was 68 years
old playing in the NBA when he was 25.
And he can rebound.
He was one of those guys, pulling boards down like crazy.
Later on, it was done again twice.
It's only been done four times in the history of the league.
Four times in history.
And this shithead did it.
Olajuwon did it in 1990.
No kidding.
Hakeem Olajuwon, Hall of Famer.
And David Robinson did it in 94.
I remember that one.
Yeah.
Hall of Famer.
The only difference is he's the only one who's not a center.
That's what I was just going to say.
He's a tiny man.
I think Thurman was 6'11", or whatever.
But these guys are seven-footers, and the rest of them did the four.
They all had rebounds, points, rebounds, and assists.
The other three guys did it with blocks.
They did their 10.
He's the only guy who's done it with steals.
Wow.
Ten steals is insane in a game.
That's nuts.
You stole from everyone twice.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
I want to watch that game.
That's jacking. Oh, it's on YouTube, a lot of the highlights. I want to find that. I mean, That's nuts. You stole from everyone twice. That's crazy. I want to watch that game. That's jacking. Oh, it's on
YouTube. A lot of highlights. I want to find that.
I mean, it's insane. And at this point,
he's known as a hard worker.
The work ethic. There's an article in April
16th, 1986 about his
work ethic and how you can't get him out of
the gym. He's just in there after
the practice. He stays until
they kick him out of the arena, basically.
They have an in their own words about it.
In their own words about working out like a phenom here.
In their own words, quote,
I'll have somebody just feed me the ball so I can shoot.
Maybe have someone put a hand in my face to make me shoot over it.
It's not hard to find somebody to help.
They want me to play better, and they want the Spurs to do something in the playoffs.
So, yeah, he's just a kid trying to not be a fuck-up,
and he's probably loving his newfound position.
I can't imagine.
Yeah, he's an all-star that year also.
Obviously, it just went over his insane season.
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86, 87, he's an all-star again.
Wow.
Makes 17.7 points a game, 5.2 rebounds, 5.2 assists.
Very consistent.
His rebounds and assists are always the same.
And 3.2 steals a game. Is he killing it with money right now, too?
425 grand he made that year.
So, I mean, this is starting to tick up.
I think he made $233,750 in the past year.
And you keep generating those kind of numbers,
that paycheck is going to...
You're going to get there, especially in the mid-'80s,
because this was the Jordan era.
This is when Jordan exploded and the shoes and those commercials
and the Nike. McDonald's. It's insane. This is when Jordan exploded and the shoes and there's commercials and the Nike.
McDonald's.
It's insane.
This is when the NBA became,
David Stern took over in 84
when he came in,
changed the face of the league.
He made it a business.
It was a star-driven league
and he's a star.
All right.
So he plays in San Antonio,
which isn't the best market
for that sort of thing back then.
This was before Tim Duncan,
David Robinson,
that this is,
he ushered that in.
There's no Mano Ginobili singing threes in the playoffs.
Absolutely not.
This is him picking pockets.
That's it.
87-88, all-star again.
Wow.
19.6 points a game.
Yeah, he's done it four times in a row.
Four in a row.
6.1 rebounds, 6.8 assists.
That's an extra rebound and an extra assist and a half a game from the last season.
It's going up.
And 3.0 steals.
So, again, three steals a game.
Jesus.
That's ridiculous.
Again, he has a little bit of a problem that year.
Has a bad game.
Not even a bad game.
I think he had a good game.
But it was February 14th, Valentine's Day, 1988.
He has a chance to win the game or to tie the game in the closing seconds.
There's two seconds left.
All right.
It's 133-131. They're playing the Lakers lakers they're down by two he sinks the first free throw 133 131 that's
a that's no defense oh my god that's an all-star game score he wasn't stealing anything that game
it's against the lakers too that's the showtime lakers they're running in this person let's run
with them and they had a young team back then so they just run if you wanted to run i guess but robert robertson wasn't stealing shit from anyone um so anyway
he comes to the line 133 131 they're down sinks the first shot 133 132 misses the second absolutely
this is a game over they lose and we have it in their own words on it most of his in their own
words are two sentences tops awesome this is the deal i don't want to
talk about it and he leaves we've got a couple later on like the beginning one there but
here's one that's a short one on this i'm i'm missing the shot on the heartbreak quote the
main guys rise to the occasion but tonight i did not answer that bell hey you know what you're not
you're not lying sir he's taking responsibility that's a kid you want he goes up and he says you
know what the guy you want to be the shit you got to make those shots and i
wasn't the shit tonight four years i'd respect that four years in a row in the all-star game
and then all of a sudden i can't do this i respect the shit out of his out of his self-awareness yes
at that point that's a mature thing to say the guys who are the shit do it and i'm not i love
self-awareness it's so key and it's the best as shit. I love self-awareness. It's so key in everything. It's the best. As comedians, we appreciate self-aware.
Living in a sea of delusion
that we are.
Go to a...
Guys,
do yourself a favor
if you're not a comedian.
Look up online somewhere.
Every city has it.
Find a Facebook group.
Find the open mics
in your town
and go to one.
And sit...
Don't say you're gonna...
Don't even announce your presence.
Don't do anything.
Sit in the back of the room and just observe.
Not what's going on on stage.
No.
That's going to be sad.
Don't give a fuck about that.
You might get one guy where you're like, he said something kind of funny.
That guy's okay.
He might be decent.
The other 14 people there will be terrible.
They'll be people that have been doing comedy for fucking nine years and never been paid a cent.
And they keep coming back for more.
Like, gluttons for
punishment boy oh boy do they think they're george carl oh they're gonna get off stage and then
they're gonna wax fucking poetic to their buddy who's also a loser but he's only been doing it
six years so he looks up to the idiot who's only been doing it nine years like he's some something
special like oh my please advise me because your career is going so well.
Tell me more about
how you made that joke
about your wife being fat.
Yeah, and then they'll
make fun of the guy
on stage who's just
as terrible as all three.
It's ridiculous.
So do that.
That's what we have
this sea of delusion here.
July 3rd, 1988.
As we were talking
about the money going up.
He's not happy
with his contract.
Of course not.
He's got another year left
and he wants to renegotiate. His last deal averages 600 grand a year. So he makes like
900 the last year and it evens it out. That's nice. That's not bad. He wants to make a million
per year. Yeah. He wants a four-year deal, a million a year. Four-time all-star. And back then
you want to say, I made a million dollars. Yeah. I make a million dollars a year. You know what I
mean? So they were doing it and on July 3rd,
1988,
they broke off
contract talks
between him and the Spurs
and they're having
a big to-do
and they're,
you know,
getting pissy
with each other
basically.
It's funny too
in that situation.
He has to act
pissed at the Spurs
and they have to be like,
well,
we don't need this guy
even though he's
a huge cog in their team.
So everyone has to be
full of shit
in that situation.
Again,
the delusion. That's like the comics afterwards going, good set. That's what they're doing to each other of shit in that situation. Again, the delusion.
That's like the comics
afterwards going,
good set.
That's what they're
doing to each other.
Yeah, good set.
We don't need you.
So, August 12th, 1988.
I just thought this
was a neat little thing here.
He's part of an NBA
All-Star team
that plays an exhibition game
against the 1988
U.S. Olympic team.
The sole team.
Yeah.
And it includes
this team as Michael Jordan, Isaiah Thomas, Carl Malone, Charles Barkley, Tom Chambers, Chris Mullen, Rolando Blackman, and my favorite, Benoit Benjamin.
That's the team he was on?
He was on, yeah, the team that played them.
I just love Benoit Benjamin because I have a cousin who, I don't know why this makes me laugh, but it does so much.
He always, he calls him Benoit Bunjammin all the time and says he'd be a great gay porn star.
Benoit Bunjammin, because it's kind of what his name looks like.
I've been laughing about that for 15 years.
So thank you, Benoit Bunjammin.
So a 1988-89 season.
He's with the Spurs still.
Great year again.
17.3 points a game, 5.9 rebounds, 6.0 assists, 3.0 steals.
He's consistent.
Absolutely.
High teens, about 6-6 on the boards and rebounds.
And keeps that steals at three a game.
And he will keep that opposing team shooting guard in check.
You bet.
And this is a guy like, you know, when you get a Jordan,
this is the guy you want.
Guys like Jordan are starting to proliferate the league.
There you go.
Isaiah Thomas, Joe Dumars, guys who aren't on
the Spurs. There's a lot of them going on around
there. Magic Johnson. Wilkins is a little big
for him. But yeah, Johnson's a, he's a point
guard though, so I don't, unless he's 6'9",
I don't think you'd want him on. Johnson was a point guard?
Yeah, he'd still run. Get out of here.
He's a 6'8", 6'9", point guard. I thought he was a shooting guard.
No, he didn't shoot that. He wasn't a great shooter.
He'd distribute her like a bastard.
Run that floor. Anyway, he made $950,000 that year for the shooter. He distributed like a bastard. Yeah, a motherfucker. Run that floor.
Anyway, he made $950,000 that year for the Spurs in his last year of his deal.
Almost there.
Almost there.
So the Spurs... And that's his last year with the Spurs?
That's last year of that contract with the Spurs.
So you'd think they would re-sign him.
His stats are great.
He's an all-star every year.
This is fantastic.
May 28, 1989, which is like the day the season ends if you're not in the playoffs,
traded by the Spurs with Greg Cadillac Anderson.
Is that right?
One of the best names ever.
Greg Cadillac Anderson.
That sounds like a dude that can shoot from the corner, doesn't it?
So smooth.
Cadillac from the corner.
I like it.
And a second-round pick.
They trade him to the Milwaukee Bucks.
Oh, no.
Have fun in Milwaukee, asshole.
That's a lot.
Jesus. Sorry, Wisconsin. Have fun in Milwaukee, asshole. That's a lot. Jesus.
Sorry, Wisconsin, but fucking A.
Good, the most, Milwaukee is depressing.
The Bucks have always been terrible.
They're no fun to watch.
And the most interesting thing that ever happened there was Jeffrey Dahmer.
Yeah.
That tells you a lot of what's going on in Milwaukee.
All his dicks in his fridge.
They trade him for Terry Cummings and a second round pick.
Oh, Terry Cummings was the ugliest man
in the NBA.
He was depressed about this trade, too.
Cummings was like,
man, this was the best group of guys
and I just got started in church up there.
Oh, please.
Now they're kicking me out.
He was so disappointed.
He looked like a circumcised dick with eyes.
He did.
He was so creepy looking.
He had just a bulbous head.
A bulbous...
It's so weird to say that.
It's true.
He had this big bubble head. He had just a bulbous head. A bulbous... It's so weird to say that. It's true.
He had this like big bubble head.
It had too much skin on it.
Yeah, there was so much skin.
It was too much skin.
And there was no hair.
He shaved it all the way down.
He should have grown hair.
Yeah, just grow the flat top and run with it, man.
Something.
Because his eyes were like big bug.
Yeah.
He looked like a dick with too many holes.
You're right.
He did.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Looks like a dick that leaks all over the place when you try to go.
Now, Alvin wasn't happy about this trade either.
He was not thrilled about it.
No, I can't imagine.
In their own words on this, he says, quote, Milwaukee is always in the race, but the Spurs
are a team on the rise, and I wanted to be a part of it.
He's saying that after he got traded.
Yeah.
So now he's got to go in the locker room, and they're like, hey, you don't want to be
here, huh?
Welcome to the team, Dick.
You want to be on the Spurs? They're all on the rise, don't want to be here, huh? Welcome to the team, Dick. I'm going to be on the Spurs.
They're all on the rise, eh?
Well, they all know it, too.
They're in Milwaukee.
We're about to draft Todd Day.
He was fun.
We've got Glenn Robinson coming in about six years.
That'll be something interesting for you.
Todd Day's coming around in 92.
It's coming, man.
It's coming.
So January 23, 1990.
He's still a great player.
Named NBA Player of the Week that week.
Had a triple-double versus Miami that week.
It was nasty.
And that week he was averaging 23.3 points, 11.3 rebounds,
and like nine assists a game for the week.
He was killing it.
I mean, he is still a force to be reckoned with.
And his steals don't stop.
Milwaukee is doing great.
And his steals don't stop.
He keeps coming with the defense.
He's probably the best player on the team in Milwaukee
at this point, huh? Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I would say so. March 31st, 1990, his temper starts to
come out a bit. Start to get a first flash of this temper that will be a problem for him for the next,
oh, I don't know, 25 years or so. His anger is about to get the best of him. It happens once
in a while here. He's thrown out of a game and suspended for a few games here
for punching Willie Anderson
during a 107-100 loss to the Spurs.
Yeah, that'll do it.
That'll do it.
Punches a guy in the game.
Willie Anderson was a tiny little wiry guy, yes?
Who did he play for?
The Spurs.
Oh, that's why.
Yeah, exactly.
He was going home to play his old team.
He's going to punch the ex-girlfriend.
Exactly.
He does that too.
Jimmy, you know that. Have you met this man before i want to now i can read him like a book i don't
think you want to meet him now on that's essential he just went to her house and just was pissed off
yeah that's just throwing shit and kicked the dog he went down there and he was like and they
threw him out of the game for jimmy you are a prescient motherfucker. Wait until we get into this a little further. Get the fuck out of here. So.
I love it.
Now, this is the
first incident, March
31st, 1990.
That's in the game.
Yeah.
On the court.
And now off the
court, August 13th,
1990, he's arrested
for domestic assault
on his wife also.
Right around the
corner.
Right around the
corner.
That's right after
the season.
On his actual wife
that he's with.
Actual wife that he's
with.
He's beating her now.
That's the off season.
Yeah.
Wow.
So something has
switched. Going to Milwaukee, I. Wow. So something has switched.
Going to Milwaukee,
I don't know what happened
in Milwaukee.
What are you guys doing
in Milwaukee?
Whatever you're doing there
causes violence apparently.
So we'll see.
I don't know if you
too much beer,
the cheese.
And you know,
the basketball team
isn't as beloved
as their brewers
and the Packers.
Right.
So like the brewers
and the Packers
fairly well stay out of trouble
minus the fucking steroid guys with the brewers. But, like, the Brewers and the Packers fairly well stay out of trouble, minus the fucking
steroid guys with the Brewers.
But, so they're beloved and people pay attention to them.
They're probably on a pedestal anywhere they go in public.
It must be painful to be on the Bucs and be in fucking Milwaukee and just be kind of the
third wheel everywhere you go.
True.
Maybe he felt like he didn't fit in also.
Maybe he was lactose intolerant
and no one could get on board
with him and shit.
He was just like,
guys, love me.
And you're like,
sorry,
you've got to have some curds first.
Only if you have some brie.
Fuck, I can't eat that.
God damn it.
You have no idea
what it does to me.
Hilarious.
So from this incident here,
the August incident,
he,
right before the season,
he's sentenced to 30 days
in jail for domestic assault. And I think he's sentenced to 30 days in jail
for the domestic assault
and I think he does
the whole 30
I think he does
you know
do whatever
so it's his first
run in
hey buddy
watch out
don't hit your wife
you know
that sort of thing
now 90-91 season
on the court
pretty damn good
for the Bucs
he's an all-star again
great
13.6 points a game
5.7 rebounds
5.5 assists
3 steals a game 3..7 rebounds, 5.5 assists, 3 steals a game, 3.0 again.
He rebounded.
Oh, sorry.
He rebounded nicely.
Fucking son of a bitch.
You're going to get one in every time on me, you bastard.
Okay, that's fine.
That's fine.
You son of a bitch bastard.
I'm going to deal with it.
So he brushed off the domestic violence.
Brushed that off.
Did his time. Came back in. He's fine. And he's an all-star. So he brushed off the domestic violence. Brushed that off. Did his time.
Came back in.
He's fine.
And he's an all-star.
He's been on the all-defensive team every year since he's been in the league.
He's the original Dennis Rodman.
This is his last.
It's funny, too, because he compares himself to that later in a favorable light.
This is his last year on the all-defensive team.
But in the middle of this year, on January 3, 1991,
right in the middle of an all-star season,
Alvin signs with the Bucs to an eight-year, $15.5 million contract.
Somebody's making almost $2 million a year.
Which was big shit back then.
Fuck yeah.
That was huge back then.
If your name wasn't fucking Michael Jordan, you weren't making that.
In Milwaukee, that money goes a long way.
It is the most lucrative contract in team history
because they're Milwaukee
and they don't pay anybody.
Who are they going to give it to?
Frank Borkowski?
Right.
Exactly.
So they were like,
Todd Day?
Never mind, Todd Day.
You love Todd Day.
Jimmy's like,
I know one 90's Milwaukee buck
and it's Todd Day.
I'm going to stick with him,
God damn it.
Essentially,
they just made him
the richest person in Milwaukee
apart from whoever
owned the Miller Brewing Company.
You know, Don Makowski, I think at the time.
Packers quarterback, unseated by far.
But he continues to have problems during the season.
He signed on the 3rd of January.
January 30th, 1991, he is sued by two employees of a San Antonio nightclub who claim in a lawsuit that Robertson beat them pretty good
on September 27, 1990.
This is a year, six months later, four months later,
and they're saying that...
Probably the same visit when he smacked the shit out of Willie Anderson.
That's what I mean.
This is...
So, I mean, he's got Willie...
No, that was in March.
So he's got Willie he's fighting,
and then he's beating up his wife, going to jail,
and he's going out... This was literally 27... This was right after he got out of jail. What and then he's beating up his wife going to jail and he's going out this was literally 27 this was right after he got out of jail what the fuck beating
up his wife he goes out and beats up some employees at a nightclub like get your shit together I don't
know what happened to him he had a fucking head injury that year or what but he lost before that
he was a great guy I really loved to switch and he was always a tough guy on the court yeah but I
mean a lot of guys are tough guys on the court. And they're not beating the shit out of their wives and bouncers and pulling a Lee Murray on everybody.
Plays an antagonist in the boundary of that fucking wood floor.
Be that.
By all accounts, Bill Lambert is not a bad guy off the floor.
You know what I mean?
Rick Mahorn was a decent guy off the floor.
John Sally was known as a complete piece of shit on the court. People wanted to kill him. And then off the court, he's a teddy bear. Everyone loves him. We the court. John Sally was known as a complete A sweetheart. piece of shit.
On the court,
people wanted to kill him
and then off the court
he's a teddy bear.
Everyone loves him.
We have a great
John Sally quote there.
Oh, I can't wait.
By the way,
explaining an incident
with him.
From that show
he was on,
The Best Damn Sports
I think it's from
a book he wrote
or something.
It's about the Raptors,
the inaugural season
of the Toronto Raptors.
I'll get into it.
It's hilarious.
But November 25th, 1992.
He is arrested in Wisconsin.
Again, Alvin Robertson.
He's charged with disorderly conduct and failure to show his license to police.
He became irate when an officer asked him for his license and began yelling, swearing, and spitting at the officer.
What?
So they arrested him, obviously.
What's the fucking deal?
Just show the license and move on, man.
He wants to see your license.
He's a cop.
That is very minimal evasion at that point from a cop.
If they don't say, you know, hands against the wall,
that's like, hey, what the fuck?
I didn't do anything.
A license is like, yeah, sure, here you go.
You got your rights, but you got nothing to hide.
Who gives a fuck?
I get the rights thing, whatever.
I see the videos on the internet. That's fine.
I want to choke the life out of those fucking people.
Show the guy your goddamn license. People pull up at a
checkpoint and they're like, license registration.
They're like, you can't do that. Motherfucker,
just show it and move on.
Well, that's mainly, that's not for the,
because I do want people to stick up for
shit like that, but not with me behind them waiting.
That's the thing. I got shit to do.
Yes, justice is wonderful, but also gotta be somewhere in 10 let's fucking move 3 a.m motherfucker justice is slow
fucking adherence is quick and brisk let's move yeah go through you're not going to jail just
show him your license go so after this incident i all these things building up february 25th 1993
he's traded by the bucks who just signed him to this huge deal.
What?
They trade him to the Detroit Pistons, who he fits on the Pistons, who are the Raiders of basketball.
Traded for Orlando Woolridge, too.
Really? He was a good player in his day.
Now we have a funny incident when he's on the...
So were the Bucs just fed up with his shit?
I don't know if they were fed up with his shit or they signed him to that deal
and then they were like,
he's kind of fucking crazy.
He's gone to jail for hitting his wife.
He's got a lawsuit.
He's doing this.
Now he's getting arrested over here.
Now he's spitting on cops.
I think maybe they were like,
I don't know if he's a good $15 million investment.
Let's see if we can kind of,
because he was still good enough
to where you could ship him off to somebody else
and they'd be excited about him.
Because he was an all-star two years ago.
But understand,
they have to fucking
pony up that $15 million.
Yeah, or if you get rid of him,
now it's off your hands.
Right.
Now it's on whoever
you gave it to.
That's what I mean.
You give it to Detroit,
then Detroit's going to
pay that $15.
It doesn't really matter.
Wash your hands of him.
Back to Frank Borkowski
making $300K
and not causing any problems.
Todd Day having a fine time.
So April 3rd, 1993,
he gets into it with Shaquille
O'Neal. He's just harassing Shaquille
O'Neal, which, he's 6'3", a buck 85.
And Shaq is... Not smart.
Not smart. Shaq calls off and decks him.
Doesn't do shit to him. Really? He's a tough son of a
bitch, Alvin. He doesn't budge. How come I don't know
this? Oh, he punched him. What year was this?
Hit him with a left hook. April 3rd, 1993.
Or, I think it was, I'm sorry, March 31st, 1993.
That's unbelievable yeah
it's shack blasted him and it didn't move him i mean he moved but didn't knock him out or anything
unbelievable i mean shack called off and popped him one and i guess he was just getting tired of
getting fouled like crazy all the time he's shack's fine ten thousand dollars and he gets a one thousand
one game suspension from that and shack goes and rubs Icy Hot on something. Absolutely. Now, the Pistons
are going to regret
this trade right about now.
Come November 5th, 1993,
they even have to go,
all right, we like crazy guys.
We drafted Rodman,
we had Lambeer,
Sally, Mahorn,
we had all these crazy guys.
This is over the edge here.
You're picking a fight
with the biggest man
in the league.
To me, it's one of those things,
what was it,
Krotoru air,
Johnny Canine,
who said,
people call me a bully,
I'm not a bully,
I pick on everybody.
It was Lee Murray
that said that.
I pick on everybody.
That's kind of like
what this guy is
because he'll get,
try to,
you know,
because trying to get Shaq
to hit him is on purpose.
They were trying to get Shaq
pissed off.
He was a kid
and they were like,
get him thrown out
of the fucking game.
Now we don't have him
in the middle.
Right.
It's a guard.
Right.
We can shoot easier.
This, he has a different approach for it.
He is suspended indefinitely by the Pistons.
Oh, my God.
Also fined $28,000 for every game that he's suspended for,
because it's, you know, 182nd of his contract.
Oh, my God.
It's a game check.
Because in the middle of a practice,
Alvin attacks the team's director of player personnel, Billy McKinney.
What? You can't attack the office people. That's your boss. practice, Alvin attacks the team's director of player personnel, Billy McKinney.
What?
You can't attack the office people.
That's your boss, bro.
Or at least you can't attack office people.
It's like a 48-year-old white guy in a polo shirt.
He doesn't have a jump shot.
What are you doing?
He's not an athlete.
You can't attack this guy.
It's said that Alvin went over and tackled him and pinned him on a press table and was roughing him up and choking him.
And the whole team had to come over and pull him off.
And he ends up, the coaches break it up,
and he ends up getting escorted off the court by Olden Polonese,
who's a guy who you would let escort you anywhere.
He said, come on, we're going over here.
You'd be like, okay.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
That's a scary man.
McKinney, the player personnel guy, said, quote,
we had a disagreement and we're going to resolve it privately.
That's all I'm going to say.
He's not dealing with it.
Paul needs to wear a mask, too.
For when he had facial problems.
Yeah, when he had the face injuries.
And that was even more menacing.
His face was scary enough.
You couldn't even punch him at that point.
He puts that bank robbery clear mask on his face.
And you're like, I don't want to be anywhere near that man.
Lambeer will just look like a goofball yeah yeah he didn't look scary now a rep for alvin someone associated
with alvin said that mckinney treated him quote like a little kid like dennis rodman unquote
this was 93 so rodman wasn't even rodman right yeah but still he was still crazy and they had
to treat him he was doing that snow cone hair then though wasn't he he was starting to get a
little wacky but he wasn't getting like
he wasn't wearing a fucking wedding dress yet
or anything like that. He wasn't banging
Carmen Electra yet.
No. That's when he got real fucking
weird. And Madonna. Oh yeah, he started banging
pop stars. That'll make your mind in a
mush. You know what I mean?
In Goodfellas, when Ray Liotta comes
to the door, Robert De Niro's
door with the silencers.
And he's like, I can't use any of these.
Equip with those fucking drugs and turn your mind in a mush.
I think that's what's going on here.
Pop stars are doing that.
Equip with that fucking Madonna to turn your mind in a mush.
The fucking Carmen Electra.
What's wrong with you?
You've got to picture that with a cigarette in your mouth.
Turn your mind in a mush.
I love Robert De Niro in his bathrobe there trying out silencers.
I have to fuck out of here.
So November 9th.
Now this happened November 5th.
He attacks Billy McKinney.
November 19th, two weeks later.
What the fuck?
14 days go by and he's going to get in trouble again.
He is shit-canned from the Pistons.
They trade him.
They're like, we don't need this lunatic around.
That did not take long.
No.
That's just long enough to find a trade and work it out, basically.
That's like seven games later and he's gone.
Yeah, he's traded with a second round pick for two complete schlubs.
Marcus Liberty and Mark Makin.
Oh, no.
Nobody's.
And Mark Makin changed his name, didn't he, later?
I don't know.
I think he only became a Muslim.
No, no, that's Abdullah Uf you're thinking of.
Mahmoud Abdullah Uf.
You're right.
They looked similar.
They both played for the Nuggets.
Macon was a, Macon was, fuck it, Macon was like a bench guy.
And Liberty played like five years, bench guy.
These were schlubs, basically.
Macon could shoot threes, though.
These were schlubs.
Yeah.
And he's now being traded for bums rather than Terry Cummings, who's actually a decent player.
A penis with ears, yes, but a decent player.
A starter.
A starter, exactly.
And he's injured at this point, too.
For the 93 season, they trade an injured guy.
He's got a back injury.
This is the beginning of the 93-94 season, and he's hurt.
He continues to be hurt until January 5, 1994.
The team announces that Alvin's back injury will keep him out for the rest of the season.
Oh, no.
So he's going to miss the whole season.
They just traded for this guy. He's going to miss the whole goddamn season. Oh, no. So he's going to miss the whole season. They just traded for this guy.
He's going to miss the whole goddamn season.
Oh, no.
So that's kind of a mess there.
And he went where to now?
That was, he was...
He was traded from the Pistons to...
To Denver.
Denver, okay.
Denver Nuggets.
Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.
He's injured, doesn't play that whole time.
And then October 3rd, 1994, he's waived by the Nuggets.
Never played for them.
They just had him and they were like, we don't need him anymore.
They put him on the waiver wire.
Hope somebody picks him up.
Now, this is October 3, 1994.
So that time goes by, and he's injured for the 94-95 season.
And June 26, 1995, I think he's feeling healthier at this point.
Because what he does to me is the actions of a man who's feeling
physically good about himself he's no his back wasn't a little achy he's like yeah sciatica's
feeling right i think i'm gonna get out there and go see my ex-girlfriend here oh no the ax
is gonna catch his wrath now so is he out of the nba at this point? Not yet. He's injured. He's injured.
He's under contract.
So someone's paying him.
He arrives at the home of his girlfriend,
on the rocks girlfriend, Sharon Rayford.
On again, off again.
On again, off again.
She is at home in an apartment with her 8-year-old daughter.
He calls her on the phone.
They get in some kind of altercation.
She hangs up on him. She won't answer the phone. They get in some kind of altercation. She hangs up on him.
She won't answer the phone again.
Oh, you bitch.
So, that's his reaction, unfortunately.
Just answer the fucking phone.
Well, she might wish she answered the phone because, Jesus, this fucking lunatic.
From not answering a phone, you think he'd just go, ah, fuck that, and go have a beer or something.
Relax.
Calm down.
I can't do that.
Do some of this.
I can't do that. Would some of this. I can't do that.
Would you do this, though?
Okay.
He goes over there to the apartment,
bangs on the door, won't let him in,
so he kicks the goddamn apartment door.
No.
I think that's where it ends for you.
Yeah.
You might go over there and call from your cell phone
in the parking lot, and if they still don't answer,
you're going to drive away angrily.
Or I might go up to the door and knock
with the phone ringing and be like,
I'm outside the door. I hear your fucking phone ringing. Answer it. And the phone ringing and be like, I'm outside the door.
I hear your fucking phone ringing.
Answer it.
And if she still doesn't answer, I'm leaving.
That's where I leave.
He kicked the door off the hinges.
That's a man with a strong back at that point, I feel like.
Which is good news for the team.
You wonder if the team's looking on going, I think his back's feeling better when he's doing this.
I think he might be able to go next year.
Get us that three steals a game I've been hearing so much about.
So he kicks in the door.
He just kind of goes on a rampage around the apartment, breaking shit.
Throwing lamps.
Throwing shit.
Yeah, that's it.
Throwing lamps.
He took her wallet and knocked over her TV,
which back then a TV, guys, wasn't like a thin thing where you'd knock it over.
This was like a big TV where if you pushed it over, it would break break it took your you had to lift with your back oh yeah your lower back
you needed a friend for these fucking tv you had to get to get that thing over you had to put some
weight you can get a 47 inch or just put it right under your arm and carry it like it's a you know
you can knock one off the wall with a shoulder now yeah by accident back then you had to really
put some effort your back had to be in great shape to knock a TV over back then.
You can knock a TV over now going to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
Absolutely.
Back then, back had to be feeling good.
Absolutely.
Had to be ready for NBA action.
You bet.
So then he leaves for a little while, then comes back and starts a fire in her living room.
Oh my god.
He comes back and starts trying to set her living room on fire.
That drive down the road
is like,
that bitch,
I fucking should've done this,
I should've done this,
I should've lit
that motherfucker.
That's a good idea.
You know what?
I do have some newspaper
in the back seat
because when he went back
and lit newspaper
and tried to set
the fucking apartment
on fire.
Idiot.
That doesn't work.
That's awesome.
He's obviously arrested
for this
because he's a goddamn lunatic.
You know that argument
you have in your head
where you're playing the argument over back.
And you're like, I should have called her this.
I should have said that.
I should have lit that shit on fire.
I should have burned that motherfucker to the ground.
He's like, I can still turn around.
It's not too late.
And the funny part is, I don't think she called the cops until then.
Really?
Because that's when he ended.
Because the cops weren't there when he got back to the apartment.
Yeah, that's a good point.
They weren't waiting there for him. He still time to come in with the dura flames and then they're
then she was like no that's that's too much now you want to knock over my tv fine you want to
steal my wallet whatever but you're gonna set my apartment i don't have a door right that's
crossing the line by the way eight-year-old daughter home the whole time that's that's the
other scary no regard she's home with her eight-year-old i'm the whole time. That's the other thing. When you said she's home with her eight-year-old,
I'm like, this is a memory that's burned in that kid's head.
Oh, this kid is still going to therapy for that.
This was 1995.
He threw over the fucking RCA.
He threw the RCA over and left
and then came back with a fucking
town gazette.
There's some
goddamn 27-year-old girl right now
just sitting in therapy every week
I could hear it crashing the TV
when it hit the ground
the next thing you know
the comic book segment
I saw Garfield burning
I saw him burning
Peter Bailey was on fire
it's so sad
so he's arrested
the charges here are two counts of assault
resisting arrest
burglary and criminal trespassing
yeah
it's a pretty good
those all match
that's a nice that's a handful there it's a pretty good... Those all match. That's a nice...
That's a handful there.
That's a solid pinch of...
Matches our story, though.
It really does.
It absolutely does.
Now, on October 5th, 1995,
because this happened in June over the summer,
the Toronto Raptors can't resist the lure of this guy as a free agent.
They sign him as a free agent.
What the fuck?
They fucking sign him because I think he had an injury settlement on his contract.
Because a lot of times that's what they'll do if you're injured.
They'll do a settlement deal and, you know, it's an insurance deal and they try to wipe you off the books or whatever.
So they sign him and this is the inaugural season of the Raptors.
That's what I was just about to say.
That's how desperate expansion teams are.
We got the Raptors and Grizzlies coming in.
They're like, who's available?
Has anybody been an all-star?
I know a guy.
Yeah, and they might have thought, he's tough.
Yeah.
He's tough.
He can steal.
Keep the locker room clear of fucking newspapers.
We're in business.
Go kick a goddamn door in.
Yeah.
Lighters and newspapers aside, he's fine.
So he's in Toronto.
That's October 5th.
You think this is going to go well, right?
No.
October 28th. You think this is going to go well, right? No.
October 28th, 1995.
Robert, this is three weeks later.
Robertson is arrested for assault of a Toronto woman.
He's taken from the Sky Dome Hotel where he's staying at the time.
Released on $3,000 bail after spending the night in jail.
He's barred from contact with the woman as part of the bail.
Now, I had such a hard time trying to figure out
what happened here
because he has
way do you see it
we're just
dipping our toe in
from now on
it is
crime crime crime crime
crime crime crime
goodness gracious
that's all we're going to talk about
is arrests and court
and shit from now on
I'm trying
and crimes
I've had a fucked life
and I've been through
a lot of therapy
and I'm just trying
in my mind
to go through
as much as I can
and trying to pull out the thoughts
that I have from therapy and the
diagnoses that they
make.
And the facts that they pull
and then go, you're feeling this because of that.
You do that because you feel this.
This man is the most jealous person I've ever heard of.
He's so jealous that
that fucking
penis head
went to San Antonio
where he wanted to be.
Yeah, I think that killed him,
that trade.
He was like,
that was my team,
and he snapped.
Catalyst, you bet.
Either that or he was doing shit
and not getting caught for it before.
He's so jealous.
Now, on this arrest,
this is,
he's still pretty smart,
is what I mean with the shorts.
In their own words,
on the arrest,
he says,
kind of a smart thing here,
he says,
in their own words,
quote,
on the advice of my counsel,
I'm not at liberty to discuss the matter.
That a boy.
Brilliant. Smart.
Smart. He's trained well by his counsel.
Shut the fuck up.
I told you not to say shit.
Now, John Sally tells us what really happened.
Okay, in a book here,
this is just an amazing quote that sums up,
it sums a lot up, because you can get newspaper reports
and you hear very clinically what happened.
Assaulting a Toronto woman.
This is how it went down.
Quote, now Alvin Robertson gets arrested the night before our first game
for kicking a naked prostitute out of his hotel room
after deciding he didn't want to pay.
He gets bailed out the next day at like 3 in the afternoon
and our game is at 7.
He goes on and leads the team in scoring and we win the first game.
That's when I knew this season was going to be weird.
No shit.
He kicked a naked prostitute out of his hotel room after he decided he didn't want to pay.
And then he gets out of jail at 3 p.m.
And then goes and plays.
And goes and plays.
After sleeping all day on a piece of concrete, a cold concrete cell.
The only thing here, though, this might have been an exhibition game he's talking about.
I think he's got his timelines mixed up because the opening day of the Raptor Jesus I was looking up.
This is what I mean.
When I look up something like this, now I have to look up that game.
And I have to look up the thing.
And I have to fact check all this shit.
Corroborate the story.
So this was an hour finding out about this stupid thing here.
Basically, the game actually took place like a week later,
the first game of the season.
And Alvin Robertson did lead the team, and he did have 30 points.
They did win the game, but it was a week after.
It was like the 5th of October or whatever, the 5th of November,
as opposed to October 28th.
Maybe he spent a week in jail.
So maybe he did.
That's the thing.
It might have been an exhibition game or something.
He came out, and then he put them together. Who the hell knows? One way or another, there's a week there that. So maybe he did. That's the thing. It might have been an exhibition game or something. He came out and then he put them together.
Who the hell knows?
One way or another
there's a week there
that doesn't add up.
Yeah, he's got some weeks
where they don't add up
a lot coming up here.
This is the final time
we're going to get
into stats here.
95-96 is last season.
Still 9.3 points a game.
4.4 rebounds.
4.2 assists.
2.2 steals even.
Kept those going
until the end.
Bad back. Legal troubles. 10 years older. He can still take the goddamn shit steals even. Kept those going till the end. Bad back, legal troubles,
10 years older, he can still take the goddamn shift from you. He'll still take it from you.
Career totals, 14 points a game, 5.2 rebounds, 5.0 assists, 2.7 steals a game. Great career.
Terrific career. Seven-time all-defensive team, four-time all-Star, great player, right? You bet. He has the most steals per game in the history of the NBA as a career.
That's impressive.
That's really great.
And I remember in 1989 or 1990,
he had passed Magic Johnson at that point for second all-time in steals at that moment,
which was insane.
I mean, that was at the time.
Insane? Insanity.
I think John Stockton holds the record for how Magic ended up getting that. But at the time, he was the guy. Yeah, that was at the time. Insane? Insanity? I think John Stockton holds the record
for how magic ended up getting him.
But at the time, he was the guy.
Yeah, he was the guy.
Now, April 29th, 1996,
he is placed on a one-year probation
for assaulting two women.
He pleads no contest to this,
so he gets probation.
Now, this incident here was,
he was with two women,
and he was trying to bite one of them,
and the other one was trying to stop him from biting her, and so he beat the shit out of both of them.
If I can't bite one of you, I'm going to beat both of you.
That was his theory.
I want to bite her.
I do not want you to bite her.
I do not want you.
Then I will punch you.
What is he fucking thinking there?
And I'm going to bite you both, probably.
Now he has lost his goddamn mind.
He definitely bit them both.
Now it is over. He bit them both. He tried his goddamn mind. He definitely bit them both. Now it is over.
He bit them both.
He tried to anyway.
It seems snapping at him.
Yeah.
July 13th, 1996.
Three months later.
Three months later.
Patterns are building with this guy here.
He's arrested and charged with assault and criminal trespassing right now.
He broke back into Rayford's home.
Oh my God.
His old girlfriend.
Broke back into her home.
Where the fire was started.
Where the fire.
Yeah.
Where he kicked the door in, knocked her giant Zenith over, and started a fire under it.
He breaks into her home and chokes her and bites her face.
He's a biter.
He's a biter.
Good grief.
So he chokes her and bites her face.
That's real.
He does not like women.
Yeah.
No, he doesn't.
He is not a fan of the women.
This article, I was like.
He wants to fuck them, but he doesn't want to.
Yeah.
And then he wants, well, maybe, if he doesn't want to pay for it. No. He'll kick her out not a fan of the women. This article, I was like, fuck him, but he doesn't want to. Yeah, and then he wants,
well,
maybe,
if he doesn't want to pay for it. No,
he doesn't want to pay for it.
He'll kick it right out,
make it in the hallway.
So,
I mean,
this article is from July 13th,
1996,
and I found it super interesting,
but the other thing I found really interesting
was a really great ad for Bucky Dent's baseball school
in Delray Beach,
Florida.
Bucky's got a school in Florida?
Bucky had a baseball school in Delray Beach, Florida.
In 1994.
In 1996.
So I don't know if it's still going on.
If it is, they're touting special summer live-in rates.
That's what they're touting.
Wow.
It's a ghost day.
It says the weeks are filling up fast.
Free transportation available in certain areas.
The big thing is, quote, don't miss what's coming this summer.
That sounds gross. I don't want to know what the hell that is. That big thing is, quote, don't miss what's coming this summer. That sounds gross.
I don't want to know what the hell that is.
That's a terrible,
terrible slogan.
That's kind of cool
they put that in there.
I'm hoping that something horrible
happens with Alvin this summer.
You think maybe they will?
What do you think?
What do you guys think?
Let's make bets now
on what do you think is going to happen.
We're talking about July.
What do you think?
He's good now?
He's going to clean it up?
Absolutely.
He had to bite a couple of women to get it out of his system. going to clean it up? Absolutely. He had to bite a couple of women
to get it out of his system.
That's how it works.
And now, once you bite a couple of women,
you beat a few people up.
That's when you coast into retirement
from the NBA.
He's going to take a nice job.
He's going to be like one of those security guards
that falls asleep reading in the middle of the night.
One of those guys.
He does a lot of those pods
that you float in for therapy for his back.
Yeah, he likes that.
He goes to a coffee shop at like 4 in the morning and, you know, plays Scrabble with the guys.
Lots of lower back sports massages.
Yeah, he's just a very old man type of saunas.
Sounds very comfortable.
Saunas, plays golf.
So this was July 13th, the incident.
Or the exact opposite.
The exact opposite.
July 13th was that other incident where they were choking and biting.
And July 24th.
You betcha. He's released by the Toronto Raptors.
They go, sayonara, asshole.
No thank you anymore.
This is what's coming.
August 19th, 1996, he posts, this is right after he's arrested again,
posts a $2,500 bond.
He's released from jail.
He is charged with, this is after another arrest,
he's charged with criminal mischief in connection with vandalizing his ex-girlfriend's car.
Sharon Rayford, again.
He's awaiting sentencing in the burglary case for the first time when he went over and kicked the door off and set the shit on fire.
Then he went back and vandalized her car also.
He has an angry, he's like a big six foot three Carrie Underwood. Raging. Emotionally
unstable. Very emotionally unstable. Carving shit into the side of her car. Now August
20th, this is the next goddamn day, he's released on bail from that incident, $2,500 bond. Now
August 20th he's arrested again. the fuck again held in jail until the
Monday hearing he's charged with criminal mischief again for the that's what he's the original charge
here by the way the the the it was a 1994 BMW that he tore apart her car which was like a two-year-old
beamer which kind of sucks for her and this was one week after the restraining order expired so
you went over there choked her bitter did all this shit had a restraining order he is just keeping a keeping an eye on the clock he had x's on his
calendar he's like oh i gotta go over and fuck that bitch's car up that shit was a week ago i'm
good i gotta go man i'm good now i'm gonna get this bitch's car shit where's my newspaper
wonder if they're flammable are bmw's flable? Anybody know? Holy shit. Oh my goodness. So August 27th, 1996,
he's being held
until this hearing.
A San Antonio judge
orders Alvin held
without bail
until sentencing
on the burglary charge.
Yeah, he's a fucking menace.
He's a fucking menace
to society.
And he can't stay away
from Sharon.
No, he can't stay away
from anybody.
Sharon and a little
more people too.
So here's the burglary trial.
October 17th, 1996,
the defense rests without calling a witness in the trial. October 17, 1996. The defense rests without
calling a witness in the trial.
Why not plead if you're going to just not have a defense
basically? He had no defense.
Let the prosecution just tell their story and then
we rest, sir. What?
What are you talking about? They had a lady and their little
girl saying he came in and tore the place
up and tried to set it on fire and they had him going
no I didn't. That's not enough. We rest.
We rest. So jury begins deliberations.
Next day, the 18th,
jury comes back,
obviously,
in the burglary case.
They find Alvin guilty.
Obviously,
there's no fucking defense mounted.
Clearly, he's guilty.
I'm on board.
They recommend for him
10 years probation
and a $10,000 fine.
$10,000 fine.
That's still pretty steep.
That's the jury's recommendation.
10 years probation, though. No jail. It's,000 fine. That's still pretty steep. That's the jury's recommendation. Ten years probation, though.
No jail.
Still pretty steep.
It's still pretty steep.
In terms of fucking up your life.
Oh, in terms of fucking up your life.
Ten years probation is a big deal.
That's a long time.
That's a long time.
Sentencing is set for November 4th.
So November 4th, 1996,
is the sentencing.
Now, in the sentencing,
he tries to, you know,
plead his case.
Plead his case.
Alvin's in the punishment phase here
Alvin's wife Jackie
testifies for him
he's married by the way
he's got a wife
he's got a wife
and he's going to
the ex-girlfriend's house
and fucking her shit up
oh and biting her face
that's a
that's not
I don't talk to her anymore
you're angry at her
you're biting her face
trying to set her
living room on fire
if I was doing that shit
I'm married
your wife would be like
you broke her zenith
there's passion there.
Babe, I'll be right back.
I gotta go over to my ex's house real quick.
Not gonna happen. What?
What are you talking about?
I'm just gonna beat up her BMW with a baseball bat.
Come back to bed.
Unreal.
Now, she testifies, Jackie.
He also has two sons that we're gonna talk about later.
What the fuck?
We'll get into that, too.
He's got a life.
He's got a family.
And he's still fucking with the ex.
And he's not even...
I mean, granted, there may be a sexual thing going on there.
There better be for him to be having this much rage.
Why do you still hate her so much if you're not involved with her?
I don't know what his fucking...
Honestly, man, it's like he snapped.
It's like he hit, like, you know, 27 and lost his goddamn mind.
I don't know what happened.
So November 4th is sentencing
like I said
she's testifying
saying that he's sorry
for what he's done
and please
you know
we have a child
and let him fucking be
and blah blah blah
now Rayford
the ex-girlfriend
doesn't testify
in this
she leaves town
and takes off
because she's fucking scared
A. she's scared
and B. I think she's also
it's just a lot of attention
probably I would assume. Now,
Alvin asked the jury for another
chance because, you know, so far
he hasn't had any chances. He's only
been doing this to prostitutes and girlfriends
and bouncers and this one and that one.
He says to the jury
in their own words,
quote, I'm a decent,
honest, hardworking guy.
I hope I get the opportunity to resume my place in society, unquote.
In jail, that's your place in society.
With a lady in glasses typing that.
Yeah.
In shorthand, he says.
She's like, is he fucking serious?
That's so ridiculous.
Those court sonographer ladies don't even look up and they just...
He probably actually stopped and gave him a look like,
motherfucker, are you out of your mind
hold up
wait
I'm not typing shit
everybody stop
I just gotta make sure
I heard what I just
fucking heard
so he will resume
his place in society
in jail
district judge
Raymond Angelini
sentences him
to six months
in Bexar County Jail
also orders
500 hours of community service and 27 000 in
restitution i guess to fix the beamer and get her a new rca fucking yeah uh you know 27 inch yeah
another 27 inch rca there so now he's going to jail so the jury says give him 10 years probation
the judge is like fuck that i'm putting him in prison watch this guy six months he needs to i think maybe he thought he was snapping him out of it like, fuck that, I'm putting him in prison. I'll watch this guy. Six months.
I think maybe he thought
he was snapping him out of it.
Like six months in prison
will let him know.
Scare him straight.
Shake him a little.
You think it will, Jimmy?
No, I think that just
fucking made him angry.
Everybody out there,
crime and sports movement,
right now,
wherever you are,
you're on a treadmill,
you're sitting in your cubicle,
you're in a fucking,
you know, in your car,
whatever you're fucking doing
right now,
washing dishes,
you think this is good now?
How long are we into this episode?
What are we, about an hour into this thing?
You think it's over? You think that's the end of this crime spree?
Six months in jail.
That's over you.
It's been amateur hour so far, my friend,
because this is going hardcore here.
His attorney, Eddie Garcia, says that he has filed notice that they will appeal the ruling
and try to get Alvin released on bond pending the appeal.
Because that's what he needs is to be out of jail more.
Was there probation involved in that sentence, too?
Or is it just six months?
Oh, he's on constant probation now because he's on probation from something else.
Remember, he's on one year probation from the other thing.
It's all tying into each other.
It's disturbing.
Wait till you hear at one point he's got like seven things going on.
It's nuts. it's so bad um so also his attorney says that alvin hopes to catch on with another nba team this year no don't think so maybe in jail for six months absolutely now when he gets out of jail here
he tries to play with the florida beach dogs of the Continental Basketball Association that also took such stalwarts as Jason Williams
who shot the guy in the face.
And I think Sly
Death in the Family Williams there.
I think he played for them too.
If you're an NBA
fuck up, you can go play. You can kill a guy
and go play in the CBA. They'll be like, hey, Florida Beach Dogs
need a forward. Go ahead.
So he's out of jail
by August 18, 1997 yep and he uh pleads now he's
got to deal with the car thing the beamer damn it that's a separate case damn that's not in one
thing yeah that's a different event entirely entirely so august 18th 1997 he ends up having
to plead no contest to misdemeanor charges with the vandalization.
He is given $1,500 fine, five years probation for the criminal mischief,
10 years probation for the burglary thing on top of that,
and then given a one-year jail sentence.
Oh, my God.
You, sir, may fuck off.
No doubt.
Finally.
Finally, they've locked him up for something.
Something.
He did six months.
Now he's doing a year
in 97
he starts that
and what state is this?
this is Texas
okay
and so in Texas
you get a year
you're going to actual prison
you're not going to go to jail
yeah
now he's got a lot of time
served too
going on
because he's sitting there
awaiting things
and he's held without bail
because he runs
he's crazy
so there's all sorts of shit
mixed into this
so he goes to jail, does that.
He's quiet for a while.
He goes like two years kind of under the radar after he gets out.
He does, I think, nine months here, gets out, 98.
And then he's okay for like a year and a half.
Really?
And then January 31, 2001, his head pops out of the sand.
Here he is, and he gets right back into it.
Arrested for driving without a license.
Why have a driver's license.
Just drive around.
Now, July 30th, 2001, six months later.
Do you think they took it from him?
He probably doesn't have one, I would think.
Because he had other driving charges here and there.
Things that he didn't pay tickets.
He didn't do shit.
Plus, he went to prison.
So if he had anything pending, he probably just let it go.
I can't imagine he's very responsible when he gets out of prison.
He's like, I'm going to clear up all that traffic shit I had.
No, no, no. I don't want to. No. You keep
your girls to yourself and drugs and alcohol.
I need to get to the DMV. Can I close at 5 still?
Because I've got to get down there and get
my address updated. Anything change in a year and a half?
I've got to get things updated.
So, he is ordered on July
30, 2001. Ordered into
intensive residential drug treatment program after violating probation by testing positive for cocaine.
Drugs get into the picture now.
He likes his uppers and stimulants.
And now he's violent and on cocaine.
This is a good combination.
Cocaine spoke to him, too.
Surprise.
This is right up our alley.
My friend Jack Preston in Ohio gets really upset when I run down
cocaine, which makes me scared about the person
that I'm friends with. But what the fuck?
Unless he does this, I don't care.
But if he's doing the shit that we've
covered, in all of our experience
with cocaine just based on these
people, if we were aliens dropped
down from a planet and just all
we've done is crime and sports on the planet Earth,
we'd know nothing else else we'd be like
cocaine's horrible.
It's a terrible thing.
It'll make you rape people.
Holy shit.
And he's biting faces
without any stimulants
from I mean
He was doing cocaine
He was.
He's had a pretty good
cocaine habit going here
for a while.
For a while.
Yeah.
Now 2001
a former girlfriend
we don't know who
but a former girlfriend
accuses him of sexual assault and rape in November of 2001.
Now, he claimed that she was trying to get even with him after he was, I don't know what the hell this means, but, quote,
disrespectful of her during a sexual encounter that was consensual.
Disrespectful of her during a consensual sexual
who gets in a fight in the middle of fucking right that's the weirdest thing i've ever heard in my
life she she what did he do to her did he was disrespectful or she was he was so she got mad
that he was disrespectful disrespectful he spit on her shooting child what the fuck is he doing
that's put your hand over that watch where you're aiming i don't What the fuck is he doing? Put your hand over that. Watch where you're aiming.
I don't know.
It was consensual, but the disrespecting her made her want to file a rape charge.
I don't know if I'm buying that.
Judge said about this, the judge in the case said, quote,
The problem, Mr. Robertson, is that it's never your fault.
Everybody has bent over backwards to keep you out of prison.
Yeah.
And prostitutes bend over, lots of them bend over forwards.
Absolutely.
And Alvin, of this incident, in their own words in court, said,
quote, I absolutely did not rape anybody.
I never committed sexual assault.
I'm screaming in the wilderness, is what he says.
And the judge says, you, sir, may fuck off.
You are sentenced to three years in prison after after the probation violation it's all for the
rape accusation basically it's not even for rape it's for probation violation because they the
girlfriend later recants part of the story making it like they can't convict him on rape but they're
like it doesn't matter because you admitted during it that you were drinking and doing drugs
and you were on probation whoops so it doesn't fucking matter they just answered the age-old
question if a man screams in the woods, does anyone hear it?
Nope.
No, they do send him to prison, though.
That they do.
That they do do.
Now, he doesn't serve the full three years.
Are you shocked?
No.
I'm not shocked at all.
Doesn't serve the full three years.
Of course he gets out.
Of course he gets out.
He's released from prison in 2003.
Overcrowding in fucking Texas.
And time served, too,
because he sits around waiting
trial a lot
now May 20th 2006
he's arrested for driving without a license
again
violating a protective
order evading arrest assault
and telephone harassment
a plethora of charges really
and he had warrants for a couple of these
that's an exciting night
these were like warrants this was couple of these. That's an exciting night.
That's an exciting... Well, no, these were like warrants.
This was like six months of shit that they just...
They arrested them all for it on one night.
Another one came across the detective desk.
He's like, you know what?
Let's find this fucker.
Let me just pick this fucking guy up.
There's like six things.
Let's just get all these...
I got papers everywhere.
I want this folder gone.
I'm tired of seeing these.
All these warrants carry a 68 000 bond basically is what
he needs to get out uh now at this point 2006 that's going on in 2008 his son tyrell not tyrell
robinson tyrell robertson tyrell johnson because he does not take his father's name no and there's
big articles about it and he's raised by another man and he says basically fuck my dad i don't want anything to do with him uh he is drafted in the nfl oh he plays five years as a safety he plays for the
vikings for four years and then he plays for the lions for you yeah tyrell johnson that's great
yeah good for him uh well not let's not get excited about him yet he's got some problems
we'll talk about him in a minute but now let's get into the really
really fucked up part of this story oh jesus you think it was fucked up already so he got out after
three years or less than three years supposed to go get his life back on track and now we're at a
point where it's about to get fucked he was good now yeah one point now he is not fucking good
well he's good at the moment but other people people aren't. And especially, let's get right into it.
Let's go.
April of 2009.
Okay.
A 14-year-old girl.
Never good when a 14-year-old girl enters the story.
Oh, I just got a shiver when you said 14-year-old girl.
You mentioned a 14-year-old girl, unless he has a 14-year-old girl and she's going to live with her mom or something.
Should never come up in these stories.
If they do, it's trouble.
Yeah.
A 14-year-old girl flags down a police car in Corpus Christi, Texas. There you go. It's come up in these stories. If they do, it's trouble. Yeah. A 14-year-old girl
flags down a police car
in Corpus Christi, Texas.
There you go.
It's going.
There you go.
See the alley?
It's going now.
She tells the police
that she was abducted
from San Antonio
and driven around the city
being forced to have sex
with multiple men.
Oh, God.
She also said
that she was made,
she was given a fake ID
and taken to a
Corpus Christi strip club and made to dance.
Oh, my God.
That's what she's claiming, okay?
She says the man who was holding her was 49-year-old Leslie Campbell.
And she says she escaped from his apartment while he was showering.
And she claims that there's seven other people involved in the plot.
Her parents had reported her as a runaway and everything.
So, okay. I was just going to say, her poor life is already a mess in the first place. parents had reported her as a runaway and everything. So, okay.
I was just going to say,
her poor life is already a mess
in the first place.
It's such a mess.
And now it just got infinitely worse.
Most of the time when people run away
and actually run away,
it's because they're abused badly.
So that's the problem.
And she was 14 in 2009.
Yeah.
We're looking at 2016.
She is still a young girl.
Yeah, she's still young
and a mess probably.
Oh, God. Now, Be a young girl. Yeah, she's still young and had a mess probably. Oh, God.
Now, Bexar County Sheriff Deputy Inyo Badilo said that she was able to identify several of her assailants
and describe several locations in great detail that she was taken to.
So it's a truthful story.
They believe her.
January 2010, Leslie Campbell pleads guilty to sexual assault of a child.
Okay, that's the guy, the 49-year-old.
What a vile piece of shit he is.
I feel like he's got a friend.
February 25th, 2010, police announce that Alvin is wanted
in connection with sex trafficking of said 14-year-old girl.
Oh my God, he's involved in the trafficking itself?
Alvin, at the time, is in Arkansas
for a basketball clinic with former NBA player Ricky Pierce.
Uh-oh.
Now, him and Pierce, they have a little business going on.
Alvin, he's got a construction company.
He's also got this little thing that...
He's a fucking convicted rapist at this point.
I don't know what the fuck...
Him and Ricky Pierce are pitching a package
that's a basketball and an instructional video to Walmart.
And they're putting on clinics around the Arkansas area to show that it works.
And Walmart executives are into this.
They think this is pretty cool, honestly.
I don't know how they didn't look up this guy.
They had Google in 2010.
Google him.
Wow.
No doubt.
So that's what's going on.
February 26th, which is the next day, 2010,
Alvin is arrested in Bentonville, Arkansas,
for sexual assault of a child,
sex trafficking of a minor.
Alvin is one of seven people arrested in the whole plot,
including Alvin's girlfriend, Raquel McIntosh,
who was also arrested on charges of sex trafficking of a minor
and forcing a sexual performance of a child.
Terrible.
This is when I started to get a little, like, kind of,
I was looking at it a little weird where I'm like,
his girlfriend was involved in this?
Is she, like, the fucking madam?
Is she, yeah.
She's got to gain the trust because she's a woman
so she can gain trust of a girl?
It's very odd.
With seven other people, I could see if it was just the two of them.
It struck me as odd. Now, after after this happens he's march 5th 2010 he's extradited back to san
antonio to face the charges for this he's posted a bond and is released right away which i don't
know how the fuck you get bond posted for that right for that for that how do you have how do
you have any sort of we may or may not let you out that's a fucking keep you in jail for until your dates
brother yeah uh also arrested these there's a guy named marcus calloway who was charged with
aggregate aggravated kidnapping plus three of the johns basically the guys who are fucking her and
whatever uh three of these guys were released on 75 000 bail apiece everybody else is being held
except for robertson somehow and he's got worst record. I don't know how any of them could have a worse record than this idiot.
Deal with Walmart's off at this point.
Yeah, I can imagine.
Shocker.
They told him that Walmart was a family company and they couldn't...
Literally, they went in the meeting.
They went into another meeting after he got out and said,
Look, there's something I have to tell you.
And they said, We already know.
It's all over the fucking news.
And we're a family company.
Take a hike, asshole.
Nice pick, Ricky Pierce, as a guy to hook up with.
Thanks, brother.
Every NBA player, and there's a million ex-NBA players, hundreds of them.
You could have picked anybody.
Get Todd Day, for Christ's sake.
Find Sean Kemp.
He hasn't raped anybody.
Sean Kemp's got kids to feed.
Find him.
Find him.
Now, on this kidnapping arrest, he said, this is in their own words,
on the kidnapping arrest,
he said, quote,
as soon as we walked into the restaurant,
it was right there on CNN.
Former NBA star Alvin Robertson
accused of kidnapping.
It ruined me.
I lost everything.
No.
That's not what ruined you.
You've been ruined already.
But that ruined your reputation publicly.
That's what happened.
Yeah, everyone else was like, ex-girlfriend rape. But I feel like people were giving him the benefit of the doubt. been ruined already, but that ruined your reputation publicly. Yeah. That's what happened. Yeah.
Everyone else was like, ex-girlfriend rape.
But I feel like people were giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Oh, that's a hooker.
You know.
Right.
Oh, ex-girlfriend.
Maybe he's a little crazy.
He's a tough player.
That's how they are.
People find any excuse to stick up for these fucking idiots.
Silver-haired, middle-aged white men abound with these fucking people.
And he's a guy, a star, and a good player in the NBA that the silver--haired middle-aged white men are coming out of the woodwork for this goddamn guy.
Out of the woodwork.
Teams are signing him after he's just got arrested for biting people in the face.
They're like, we could use him.
We could use that biting.
That's a quality you don't get enough of out on the perimeter is biting.
It's a real go-getter.
What I need you to do is really D up on him.
Really get down low. I want you so close is really D up on him. Really get down low.
I want you so close
you can nibble on him.
You know what?
If he starts to go by it,
don't even go for the ball.
Bite him right in the face.
I don't think he's going
to keep dribbling.
I think it'll be fine.
So 2010,
this whole period after this,
he's in and out of jail
on bond violations.
They keep letting him out.
That's the thing.
This is where I'm like,
what the fuck
are you letting them out for?
This is a breakdown
of the system.
Well, the system's
going to come around
here in a minute
because this is not
what it seems.
It tightens itself up.
Yeah, a little bit.
Now, there is
the Club Cheetah
strip club
in Corpus Christi, Texas
sues this girl
and her parents
at this point
claiming the club
was, quote,
flim-flammed by the girl.
Flim-flammed is in the court documents.
Haven't heard of that fucking term since 1963.
Flim-flammed.
They throw that in 2010.
It's a strip club, too.
Picture some strip club owner going,
they flim-flammed us.
He's sitting there with his shirt open to the sternum
going, they flim-flammed us.
Playing with his medallion.
With his chest hair out.
Yeah.
Disgusting.
A fucking Corpus Christi strip club owner.
He's got an Italian horn woven into his chest hair.
And he's not even Italian.
No.
He's not even like Dolfo in the Spencer case.
No.
I picture Dolfo from the Spencer case.
Michael Dolfo except a Texas strip club owner.
He just...
So, anyway.
They also... The strip club questions. So anyway, they also,
the strip club
questions the events
leading up to her coming in there.
She's saying that,
they're saying that
we don't believe
how everything happened.
Anyway,
said that Campbell
gave her a fake ID,
like I said.
That's fucked up
to put that girl
through that shit.
It is.
Now, 2011,
Tyrell Johnson.
In case you thought
that strip clubs
were respecting people.
People were being nice to people.
You know, it was a nice job.
She met good people.
She made connections for the future, Jimmy.
In 2011, Tyrell Johnson, his son, who doesn't use his name,
is arrested for a DWI in Minnesota.
He's got to drive under the influence.
So that's like father like son.
I mean, yeah.
If I'm looking at the TV and seeing my father,
the guy that shot into some woman and made me.
Granted, it's not the guy that he calls his dad.
But if I'm seeing that man on TV arrested for pimping out a 14-year-old girl, I'm going to be fucking wanting to have a drink.
I think so.
I want a drink.
He drinks.
I don't know that I'm going to jump in a car.
Now, September 21st, he must have been drinking this night, too.
We have more Tyrell action here.
Jesus, Tyrell.
In 2013, Tyrell Johnson
is arrested in Miami for urinating
in public and resisting arrest. Wow.
He was peeing against a wall and the cops
came and they said, put your hands against the wall. He's like, get off
me, man. My dick's out. Exactly. Told them to go
fuck themselves and next thing you know, he's being
charged. So we can look for more from him
in the future. Yeah, it's coming. But there's still
more to this by far. Jesus. Now,
June 12th, 2014,
he is arrested for a host of shit here.
Yeah, this is back to Alvin now.
Yeah, we're back to the big guy here.
He's arrested for a host of shit.
This is where he keeps getting violations.
He ends up with over a dozen violations of his
parole and bond uh he ends up be testing positive for methamphetamine he also uh this this particular
the june case is when he said that he needed to go to arkansas for his daughter's graduation or
something like that one of his kids graduations i don't know arkansas or one of these southern states and he said he went there but he's wearing a gps monitoring bracelet and they found
that the whole week he said he was the three days he said he was there he was just in various place
various san antonio apartment complexes hanging out finding meth finding meth see that okay that's
what happens here's a better way of me explaining my hatred for coke. Because coke is an expensive drug.
They call it the white, not white.
Rich man's.
The rich man's drug.
So when you've got money and you're partying with coke, that's fine, all well and good, whatever.
If it speaks to you and you like doing it, that's fine.
But eventually you do not have the rich man ability to buy that shit anymore.
And you step it down to crack.
And then you step it down to fucking meth.
Now we're in meth land. And that's when all
the shit unveils itself.
And that's why I hate it.
I don't blame you for that, honestly, because it's true.
And it makes bad people worse.
It makes good people mediocre
and bad people fucking awful.
Way worse, yeah. Not great.
So December 12, 2014,
he's released from jail from the June 12 incident.
Released from jail.
Must, of course, wear a GPS ankle monitor because he's on fucking house arrest.
Like that deters anything.
No shit.
So January 5, 2015, Robertson is officially on the run.
He is on the run.
He has announced that he is gone and on the run.
I hope he took his bracelet off.
Officials say he's cut off his ankle bracelet
that he's required to wear.
They can't locate him.
Attorney Brent De La Paz, his attorney,
said that his client proclaims his innocence
and is frustrated with the delays in the trafficking case.
So that's what's happening here.
Now, while he's on the run,
Jesus Christ,
what is he fucking doing?
Meth.
It's definitely meth.
Definitely meth.
Definitely meth.
He's going around seedy places,
just wandering into buildings.
It's not frustration.
God damn it.
It's an addiction.
It's I need meth
and this is boring
and I have to do some shit.
And he's out there
just wandering in a crack house
as I picture him.
Any door he sees, he just opens and he opens one and he's like, that smells good.
And a man turns around and it's the shawarma man. And he says,
how is it you've come to arrive here? Why are you here? Why are you come here?
You steal ball all over place. You steal ball. You go on Olympic. They give you here? Why are you come here? You steal ball all over the place.
You steal ball. You go on
Olympic. They give you medals of gold.
Why you come here? What's wrong with you?
Why you bite face?
Why you bite face? Sign say closed.
You come in. She tell you. Sign say
closed. You say I kick door and bite face?
Why? You set fire? No fire.
Fire for what? Fire for what?
Schwarm man says for why? For why you do that? You want for what fire for what shwarma man says for why for why you do that
huh you want shwarma i make for you you want lamb i carve okay bite lamb not face stop rape bite
lamb here you take this you know bite right it's a the rape too no the shwarma men say no rape and
you have any of the uh you uh you have any no no sh Schwammer men don't want any. No, no, no.
Schwammer men have a problem.
So I got to go.
Here, take your Schwammer.
You go.
Schwammer men have problems.
You go with the coke.
You know, Schwammer men cocaine.
He has a little problem.
It's okay.
You take Schwammer, you leave.
Go.
You go.
Signs say closed.
So the police do think the signs say closed.
Yeah.
Because they arrest him on January 13th
while he's on the run
here for a week.
2015.
They arrest him
in a San Antonio
apartment complex,
of course.
Now, I don't know
shit about San Antonio,
so any of our listeners
in San Antonio,
please tell us
if the 1700 block
of Jackson Keller
is a shitty place.
I'm going to assume it is.
Because that's where he was.
Tell me if that's a crack...
Because this was only last year. So let me know if this is 2015 year so let me know if this is 2015 neighborhood if it's a shitty
neighborhood they haven't fixed it yet probably so let me know uh bond set for 80 grand i love
how on my cards in the beginning i had a salary in the corner with 900 000 now i have bond amounts
in the corner it's changed things have gone awry getting And they're getting close to that salary. Things have fucking gone awry. They're taking up pretty quickly.
Now, on this whole thing here, okay.
How this happened in his claim is that, and this actually happened, part of it, but the rest of it's bullshit.
Now, New Year's Eve of that year, a fire destroyed his apartment.
I hope he didn't set it, but I...
Whatever.
Honestly, who the fuck knows
at this point.
I can assume
that something
had a match
within his hand.
Yeah,
the fire burns it down,
the news crews show up,
and we have an
in their own words
on this.
He's high as a fucking kite.
Did he get on the news?
No,
God no,
but he hid.
Listen to this,
in their own words,
quote,
I was hiding behind
the bushes
because the TV crews had shown up.
I didn't want them to see me.
I was really trying to lay low.
I didn't want them to see me because I was naked.
Because my fucking jaw was going back and forth because I was on a lot of meth.
Because I used to be Alvin Robertson.
Yeah, they're going to recognize you.
Isn't that Alvin Robertson?
At least he's not raping anybody.
Jesus.
Isn't that a four-time All-Star?
I think he was a defensive player of the year.
Jesus.
So he claims that the fire destroyed the charger for his anklet thing, okay?
He reported it to the pretrial services, the anklet thing,
and they gave him a surprise drug test.
It wasn't supposed to be scheduled for one for a few weeks.
And he said that he had, quote,
had been having a good time on New Year's Eve and failed the drug test.
So he fucking took off and went on the run.
That's awesome.
So he went on the run without his ankle bracelet and everything.
He just took the fuck off from there.
He's out there celebrating.
To a better New Year.
I'm going to have a great year this year.
Somebody put that out.
Damn it.
The news is here?
I get high when I'm on parole and the news has to fucking be here to see it.
How many other people have news crews watching them?
So good.
So March 6, 2015.
Now this is, he was just put away in January of 2015.
March 6, we're talking a month and a half later,
they release him from jail again.
What?
He's out doing meth and taking his anklet off.
Stop letting him out what the stop at
this point it's your fault at this point i blame you now i'm frustrated with how long it's been
frustrated with the system at this point that's what i mean we've done so much in so many of
these cases and i'm like it gets to the point after a while where i'm fucking frustrated i'm
frustrated by the course there's a 14 year old victim for fuck's sake i'm forced i'm frustrated by the courts. There's a 14-year-old victim, for fuck's sake. I'm frustrated by sports.
I can't fucking like sports the same anymore.
Literally.
I saw a guy on Facebook.
This is off the subject, but I saw a guy on Facebook post today,
a good friend of ours, said,
name your top five favorite, and he was doing favorite basketball, white basketball players, fucking top five favorite, whatever.
Wrestlers.
Just weird things.
And one of them was wrestlers, and I started typing Jimmy Snuka,
Ayan Kotaru, Chris Adams.
I started typing that to go,
they're my favorite.
And I'm like, what is wrong with me?
That's not what he's asking.
That's not who I love.
That's not what he's asking,
but I'm like, they're the funniest.
That's all I know.
They're the most, you know.
I've made money off of them, hopefully.
And it's ruined how you enjoy things anymore.
It does.
It ruins everything.
Because our system's fucked up.
I know what these guys are doing.
These people are assholes.
And that's the thing.
I don't know which I'm more disappointed about, to be honest with you.
I guess it's the system.
I don't have any fucking investment in these people.
So March 24, 2015.
Now, mind you, he was let out on the 6th of March.
March 24th.
He doesn't go more than three weeks.
18 days.
He's arrested again for bond violations.
This is his 10th violation.
10th.
Put him in fucking jail already.
Enough already. What happened to three strikes?
Good Christ.
He's at nine already.
You raped the girl.
You bit this one.
This is a beer league softball league
10 strikes what jesus it's the worst man i don't understand it but bail is set at 150 000 for this
incident so he's to appear 150 grand that is that bond is a third of his starting salary in the nba
yeah no shit so now he's they're gonna hold him for a couple days. He's to appear three days later
for a hearing.
So they put him in a hearing
and they lock him back up again.
They say, obviously,
for all this,
you've got to go back again.
Guess what they do on August 15th?
No, goddammit.
August of 2015.
You think they say,
you know what,
we're going to keep you for another...
No, they let him out again.
It's been five months.
I'm sure he's fine now.
The wanting of meth
and the predilection for young girls and face biting, I'm sure that subsided. It's been five months. I'm sure he's fine now. The, you know, the wanting of meth and the predilection for young girls and face biting.
I'm sure that subsided.
It's all done.
No problem.
He's good now.
Right.
Let's do it.
Zeniths don't exist anymore.
So now the trial is coming to a head here.
November 30th, 2015, a judge dismisses all charges against Alvin on this.
What?
On the trafficking.
Now, listen to how this went down. He's clearedes all charges against Alvin on this. What? On the trafficking. Now, listen to how this went down.
He's cleared of all charges.
The lawsuit from the strip club was essential for him.
That lawsuit brought that family and that girl into depositions.
Oh, no.
Where her story was taken the fuck apart.
She's 14.
Of course she's not going to give a full story.
Her story kept changing.
Yeah.
Apparently the real story
why the one guy
because I've heard
I'm starting to read this
and I'm like
that guy fucking pled guilty
in this whole thing.
They're a sex trafficking ring.
They're selling this girl
into prostitution.
He pled guilty to it.
So don't tell me
this fucking guy
didn't do this shit.
Bullshit.
Then I heard the story.
Uh oh.
Okay.
Is he out too?
Robertson employed Campbell
at his construction company.
Campbell is the Leslie Campbell, the 49-year-old.
The one that pled guilty.
The one that pled guilty.
Now, Campbell began an involvement with the girl, 49-14.
What the fuck?
Apparently a quote-unquote consensual relationship, which is not consensual, obviously.
Now, Campbell told her about his friendship with Alvin to try to impress her.
Like, oh, he's an important guy, and he's my boss, and he used to play in the NBA, and
blah, blah, blah. He's telling her all of this shit.
Before you were born, he did some shit in the NBA.
Exactly. Now, that's how this happened. Now, as the attorney put it here, Brent De La Paz
says, quote, there was no ring, there were no girls. This was one girl who made up the whole story.
Turns out, this is the story, and this is what ends up kind of being taken,
and her story falls apart and unravels.
Damn it.
He says, quote, they come over to my house so my girlfriend could do this girl's hair.
I just saw her and said, what's up?
That's it.
That's the only time I ever met her.
It's been a nightmare.
I'm glad it's over.
God damn it. That's the only time I ever met her. It's been a nightmare. I'm glad it's over. God damn it.
If that's true...
That's really shitty
that they drug him
through all the mud for that.
If that's true,
she tried to make up,
like,
she was, like,
in trouble with her parents
because she's fucking
a 49-year-old
and ran away from home.
So she tried to make up
an elaborate story
about going to a strip club
and getting kidnapped
and this one's hiding her
and they're making her
have sex with all these guys
around town and with a guy who was biting prostitutes and kicking them naked out of
the room there were three johns arrested and vandalizing and well leslie campbell was making
her do that but had nothing to do with alvin he wasn't involved and neither was the girlfriend it
was all this leslie campbell guy gotcha and she made all that up and so now all these people and
her and alvin's been through
all this shit and she's been through all this shit god knows this poor girl's been through hell even
though she made it up it's still fucking horrible this guy's habit went through the roof because of
it i feel bad for all these people jimmy i feel bad for all these people but god damn it not nearly
oh god it's so common as bad as i feel feel for Alvin Robertson, wastewater collection superintendent in the city of Chandler, Arizona, right down the street. How you doing, Alvin? Good
job, buddy. Treat my shit. Treat my shit, pal. Alvin Robertson, financial technician in the U.S.
Army. He is a Dallas-Fort Worth area guy. He's a Texas guy, too. Alvin Robertson, building services
section chief in the greater Dallasallas area alvin robin
robertson activities director and admission team at a care plan members at civic health and rehab
in the greater memphis all right so he's taking care of people alvin robertson a car salesman
a champion ford in houston texas half of these fucking alvin robertsons were car salesmen all
over the country i don't know what it is if you name your kid alvin robertson he will fucking sell cars or beat people junior
junior fucks up and then alvin robertson sell cars finally dr alvin robertson finally an internist in
traverse city michigan poor bastard unreal that those poor fucking people now he's got another
son mind you okay he's got another son, mind you.
He's got another son named Elgin Cook.
You might not know who Elgin Cook is,
but Elgin Cook played for the University of Oregon
as a basketball player
and was signed by a couple teams in the NBA
and is currently playing in the developmental league
for the Golden State Warriors organization.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, he kicked around a little bit.
So he may play with Steph Curry eventually.
Absolutely.
If he fucking ticks it up a bit.
Maybe.
Now, there's an article from June 17th of this year, 2016, about how his son Elgin had
a good workout with the Utah Jazz, and they might pick him up, and blah, blah, blah.
And Cook told the reporter that Alvin Robertson gave him a bit of advice.
Oh, boy.
And told him, quote, just enjoy it.
Every time I take the floor, play as hard as I can.
Don't take a possession off.
Make the best of every time I step out on the court.
That's what he said.
Except for don't get arrested on possession either.
That's true, too.
And I have another crime and sports rule for you folks out there.
There's another crime and sports rule.
If you have multiple sons and none of them take your last name,
you're a shitty father.
If you have two fucking sons
and neither of them want anyone to know
you're connected to them legally and name-wise,
you are a shit father.
Take your ass to some therapy and figure it out.
Shit father.
So a former employee of his right now,
his current situation, a former employee of his right now his current situation a former employee of his
uh people his friends are trying to help him now because now all of a sudden now people feel bad
for him right because now he's like yeah because now he's kind of he's acquitted on that but i
don't care yeah he's still a piece of he didn't sex traffic but did they forget in the mean the
middle of all of that in the time when he got arrested, the time he was cleared, he got arrested ten fucking times in that period.
For fucking going crazy, for smoking meth.
He's doing meth and running around and cutting his ankle.
I don't care if he's innocent or not.
He's a fucking menace to society.
I wish he would have been goddamn guilty.
I don't care if he fucking raped this girl or not,
or anything, I don't care.
We go from being excited about an acquittal last week
to like, fuck.
Jesus, this fucking guy.
Pin him on something.
And I get that
Brian Spencer was a co-cat too
and all of that,
but he wasn't fucking
biting people's faces
and shit.
He was just a wackadoo.
This guy's like
an aggressive drug addict.
And even if he did
the crime that he was
charged with,
he was defending
a crack-headed
hooker's honor.
That's the other thing, too.
It was kind of like, you know, you're in the game, you're a scumbag, I'm in the game, I'm
a scumbag.
It's like when Omar on the wire shoots somebody and takes their crack, their heroin.
It's like, you know, you're in the game, man.
You're out on the corner, you're going to get a kneecap full of shotgun pellet.
I don't know what the fuck to tell you.
Kneecap full of buckshot.
So that's what happens.
I'm telling you.
But now, so he's, either way, he's still a crackhead.
And he's still a violent lunatic without a driver's license.
But friends want to help him.
With a reckless jaw that loves nibbling.
No shit.
A former employee.
What do you mean?
It's just that coke.
It's going.
He has to bite something.
So a former employee has his own construction company at this point.
And plans to subcontract a bunch to Alvin to get him back on his feet and get him back into the construction game.
Get him coke money.
As far as getting him some coke money, he's like, I could use it.
Not maybe get his license back.
Yeah.
Take care of that shit, Alvin.
Get your fucking license squared off first.
First things first.
Go down to the DMV like we talked about.
Make it legal to be behind the wheel, first of all.
DMV's boring.
It's not going to be fun down there.
There's no meth. Rarely a prostitute
to kick. But you're going to get a
driver's license, maybe keep you from being
arrested again.
Now, NotInHallOfFame.com
is a website that has a thing for
the hot hundred guys that should
be in the Hall of Fame. Alvin is number
54
on the list of players that should be in the Hall of Fame. Alvin is number 54 on the list of players that should be in the Hall of Fame.
Because his stats aren't bad.
Yeah.
But actually, Nate Thurman should be in ahead of him.
I looked up his numbers.
Nate Thurman, the 74 triple-double guy who played for the Bulls.
Right.
He should be in the Hall.
He's not in the Hall.
Is he on that list?
Vote for Nate.
I didn't look for him on the list, but vote for Nate Thurman, guys.
If you're out there, members of the media, whoever the fuck votes for that.
Anybody who's got a vote, fucking pencil him in.
Now, that is Alvin Robertson
and all of his glory
and all of his voice.
And he's out there.
And all of his disaster.
And he's out there right now.
He's looking for construction work.
Yeah.
You're hanging out in San Antonio.
He's a subcontractor.
San Antonio, that's your guy.
Yeah, if you see him
coming in the door,
well, I was going to say
close the door,
but he'll just kick it off the hinges anyway.
It won't matter.
Hide your TV.
He'll do your drywall.
He'll definitely do your drywall,
and he'll even break it up into lines
and snort it probably.
Like, it looks close enough.
I don't care.
I don't care.
That's awesome.
So, yeah, we have some shout-outs we're going to do.
Before the shout-outs, once again, guys,
we just really want to thank you guys
for the iTunes reviews and that sort of thing.
That is enormous to us.
Like, I can't express to you what that means.
If you want to help the show out, there's a couple ways you can do it.
You can give us an iTunes review.
That's free.
Five stars.
Tell us you love us.
Follow the instructions.
You guys are assholes.
We don't really care.
Just give us five stars.
It works.
Second of all, too, you can donate to us on Patreon.
Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports sports that helps us out so much
we don't make a lot of money off these sponsors
we don't make a lot of money off this at all
and we're trying to make the show better
and do more
we've made a decision if you listened last week
to my insane rantings
we're trying to do this without a network
we're trying to do it on our own
and make something of this and not depend on some fuckheads at a network to decide they
want to fucking push us to iTunes. So you know how we can do it? We need you guys to
push to each other and to get your friends and to spread the word because, guys, I'm
telling you, the crime and sports movement, we're not going to have a network. We're not
journalists. We don't have any connection to shit.
We're two comics
who I fucking kill myself
trying to find.
I'm ass deep in rape
constantly, guys.
Finding fun articles
about these assholes
that have awesome
advertisements from 1994.
It's amazing.
And things like
the Elgin Cook thing.
Things like that.
Or Tyrell Johnson.
Okay, see he's got a son.
Now I gotta look up his son.
Okay, there's his son.
Why does he have a different last name? His son's got a different last name. Who'd he play for? Now I've got to look up
his stats. I'm looking up his stats. He played from this year
to this year. Oh, he got arrested. I've got to read this article
and go through that. What else do you do after that? So that's not
an hour in the rabbit hole to say
his son got arrested and played for the Vikings.
Move on to the next segment. That's an hour and a half.
And that took 15 seconds
in the podcast. And the rest of it, as you can imagine, extrapolate that time over the course of this thing. And that's how hour and a half and that took 15 seconds in the podcast and the rest of it
as you can imagine
extrapolate that time
over the course of this thing
and that's how much time
we're spending
and we're at like
an hour 42 right now
and we're looking at
yeah
thank you guys
that's how much time
was put into this
so thank you guys
for listening
I say at the end
of every comedy show
that I've ever performed at
thanks for supporting
what we're doing
and that's exactly what we were telling ever performed at. Thanks for supporting what we're doing. And that's exactly
what we were telling you
right now.
Thank you for supporting this.
But if you can,
if you have the opportunity,
make a fucking,
do an iTunes review.
Yeah, do it up, guys.
iTunes reviews are free.
And also, too,
the people that interact
with us on social media,
all that, guys,
thank you,
because that helps.
It's just,
that also, too,
it shows sponsors and people are into us and it's just that also too it shows
sponsors and people are into us and it just it helps us so much there's a paper trail proving
that people listen people listen and we can't thank you enough for those kind comments because
there's days when you know as whatever just comedians and people in the world and parents
and everything else where we just want to blow our fucking brains out like everybody else does
and to have somebody tweet hey great, great show. You guys make me
laugh, blah, blah, blah. That
honestly gets us through to the next day
where we can spend another three hours looking up
some crazy son. Or you get an email
like what Victor sent us. He lives in
Yogle County,
Cork, Ireland. I think that's right.
This son of a bitch. I love this guy.
This is great, guys. Buckle up. This is the truth.
This is like the just what Buckle up. This is the truth. This is like the,
just what boils down support
is that he recommended the show
to his cousin, Jack Cahill,
and his other friends, obviously.
And then he emails us
to tell us about it.
And not just tell us about it,
he wants us to know
that Jack used to wet the bed
as a child.
And we want us to
knock him down a few pegs because people in Ireland are assholes and they're so mean to
each other and it's fucking great. I love them. And that's why they listen to shit like
this because we knock people down a few pegs. So Jack, you've got a small dick and you wet
the bed. That's what your cousin told us to tell you. Yeah, bastard, you drunken small
dick Irish prick you. We love you. Quit drinking so much and pissing all over the place.
I think that's why
we're more popular
in the UK,
Ireland,
and Australia
than we are in Canada,
which is right here,
and we do hockey player.
We try to court the Canadians.
I do hockey players
trying to fucking
court these people,
and they're like,
eh, they're tepid interests.
I really think
we're too much
of pricks for them.
I feel like that
mean-spirited shit
doesn't fly.
They're like,
oh, that's not nice.
That's Canada nice shit. I bet he had a hard that's not nice. That's not Canada nice shit.
I bet he had a hard childhood, you know?
He's got a tough time.
Take it easy.
He had a generator.
Maybe if you're nice to him, he can clean it up a little bit.
His dad had a makeshift Zamboni in a dirt field.
The negative attitude ain't going to help him none.
That's how I feel.
That's how I feel like they are up there.
Whereas Ning, they're like, ah, those fucking cunts.
Great, fuck that guy.
What an asshole. I'll bet he pisses his bed. Ning, they're like, ah, those fucking cunts. Great, fuck that guy. What an asshole.
I'll bet he pisses his bed.
Plus,
we don't have libel laws,
so they're like,
they can say anything
they want about people
and not get sued.
And then on iTunes,
Nicole404,
LevyHore,
KP in Chicago,
and then SRBLocal.
Yeah,
thanks guys.
Thank you for the iTunes reviews.
You guys are awesome.
that 30 seconds means
so much to us, guys.
Twitter's where
it seems to be
most people talk
it's fucking amazing
Tamara
tell my pimp
I quit
that's her
I love her
that's great
and we forgot
to shout her out
last week
and we're sorry
we notice you
every week
you rock
Patty Wooten
and Chris Brown
Wedbetter Monge
Busby
Megan Batterby
she's in
the UK
we've mentioned her before and she is a sweetheart and then Ryan Paul Johnson is a comic Chris Brown, Wedbetter Monge, Busby, Megan Batterby. She's in the UK.
We've mentioned her before.
And she is a sweetheart.
And then Ryan Paul Johnson is a comic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's a good dude, too.
He's a good dude.
I like him, man.
He's really good.
Daddy Pop at Old Top 67.
He wrote a review.
Yes.
But he's also on Twitter a lot.
Yeah, he rocks, too.
That was a nice review.
Rocky Newton sends pictures of us as rednecks in Canada, which is pretty hysterical, too.
That's awesome.
Did you see it?
The meme he made?
What was that?
That was Rocky Newton.
Rocky Newton.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was good shit.
And Jeanette Kozad, Nicole Dimmesdale, Joanne Milson, and Jason Fuller, obviously.
The guy's amazing.
He writes so many good things.
He does the memes.
Also to some Patreon people.
Yes.
Toby Ross.
Thank you, Toby. Just today. What a guy. Thank you, Toby Ross. He does the memes. Also to some Patreon people. Yes. Toby Ross. Thank you, Toby.
Just today.
Oh, what a guy.
So thank you, Toby Ross.
We really appreciate that.
And Mariusz Saljonson
upped her pledge.
What?
She does like a monthly pledge.
That is so sweet.
And upped it.
And I swear to God,
I almost cried.
That was just the nicest
goddamn thing ever.
You guys don't understand this,
but we're doing this
like I said
I got all these index cards
and we're looking for shit
and we go and we sit in a room
and we're recording it
and then we just go about our lives
and you guys listen to it
so if you don't interact with us
we have no idea if you like it
if you hate it
if you give a shit
if you don't
so when you give us feedback
we're like wow awesome
look at that
it's appreciated
we can see numbers tick up
all day long
in the analyticals
and that doesn't
fucking count
unless people
acknowledge it
and that feels good
that feels good
and still fuck networks
anyway
moving on
I'll run a real quick
list of names
real quick
Luke Barker
Henry Simon
Nicole Gross
Ricky Mason
Adam Newton
Paul Sullivan
Brian McCarthy
Eric Norberg,
and Michael Loretto.
Michael was the one
that contributed on Patreon.
Thanks, man.
You guys are awesome.
So thank all of you.
Seriously, guys,
like I said,
this is just us.
We're working it
and we're trying our best.
We don't have a network.
We don't have anything,
connections, you guys.
We've got a network.
It's me and you
and all these people.
And the crime and sports movement.
That's our network.
Maybe we'll start our own network. Fuck it have more we have more podcasts in the hopper
by the way i love it yeah we're holding out because the holidays suck basically for this
shit and people are weird yeah and people are traveling and all that and so we want to start
on steady ground in the new year and looking forward to it guys keep an ear out um i will
be put in an early fucking grave and so that that's fine, though. It's worth it.
I love you fucking guys.
Telling you, Beck, it's you guys.
We appreciate it.
Live from the crime.
Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music.
Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery
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Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
The wait is over.
So far, you're not losing.
The only thing you're losing is my patience.
Quickly, I see that.
Bing!
The queen of the courtroom is back.
I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth if it came up
and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
Okay, so, um...
This is not a so. This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother. That's not him her? Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin. His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
The Emmy Award-winning series returns.
How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head.
It's an all-new season.
It's streaming. You can say anything.
Judy Justice. Only on Freebie.