Crime in Sports - #46 - His Own Biggest Victim - The Aimlessness of Larry Bethea
Episode Date: December 13, 2016This week, take a peek at a man who had everything a person could want, and couldn't help but throw it away as aggressively as humanly possible. He went from being a first round NFL draft pic...k, and playing in a super bowl, to being a target of a major FBI drug probe, wandering the streets, setting fires, stealing from his own mother to buy crack, robbing stores that wouldn't even hire him to work the cash register, and generally being an untrustworthy menace to society. It's a winding ride through the downfall of a person with all the unfulfilled potential in the world, and ending in one of the saddest outcomes we've covered. And it couldn't be funnier.Turn down a scholarship to Harvard, free base some cocaine, and head out on a robbing spree with Larry Bethea!! Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman New episodes every Tuesday!!Please subscribe, rate, and review!Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts!Head to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things Crime in Sports!For merchandise: crimeinsports.threadless.comCheck out James and Jimmie's other show: Small Town Murder Follow us on social media!Facebook: facebook.com/crimeinsportsInstagram: instagram.com/smalltownmurderTwitter: twitter.com/MurderSmall Contact the show: crimeinsports@gmail.comDonate on Patreon: patreon.com/crimeinsportsPayPal: paypal.me/crimeinsports See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome back to Crime and Sports.
Yay!
Yay, yay, Jimmy.
I'm telling you, there's so much yay to go around this week.
I can't even tell you.
It's a glory, glory, hallelujah kind of yay, I'm telling you, man.
Except not religious at all.
My name is James Petrigallo.
I'm here with my co-host.
I am Jimmy Wissman.
We could not be more excited for having you joining us.
Thank you so much.
New listeners, welcome aboard.
Welcome.
It's a wild one. Buckle up. up old listeners you know what we're bringing you it's going to be a good time
this week we have so much fun going on uh before we get to this story of complete this guy is like
he he's like it's amazing because he's a smart guy yeah but he's it's take marvin barnes yeah
as we know Marvin Barnes.
The guy who's not getting in a time machine.
Take Marvin Barnes from episode I believe 20 something.
Take him and make him really intelligent.
Scary right?
Let's see what happens with that.
That's terrifying.
Let's mix that cocktail and see what we end up with.
And it's frightening.
He does one of the shittiest things a person's ever done.
Really?
Outside of your
Eddie Johnsons
and your, you know,
raping and molestations
and things of that nature.
This is as shitty
as you can be
pretty much, this guy.
But it's sad
because it didn't have
to be that way.
Before we get into it,
it's too bad, really.
It's a sad tale.
And you know that's every week it
didn't have to be this way it did not that's god damn it that's what we do we come from the point
of why did this why did you do this for what no purpose you had it all right and you promptly
flushed it directly down the toilet and ran as hard the wrong direction as you possibly could
said all of that success to the sewer treatment plant and then left the body there.
Left the body there.
Walked away casually like nothing happened.
DNA all over the place.
With buzzards swirling.
Before we get into this week's tale of insanity, I would like to thank everybody for their iTunes reviews this week.
Got a lot of iTunes reviews.
Thank you, guys.
It helps us immensely.
Helps us move up the charts.
It helps us get sponsors. It tells people that people are paying attention. So thank you, guys. It helps us immensely. It helps us move up the charts. It helps us get sponsors.
It tells people that people are paying attention.
So thank you, guys.
It tells people that matter and gatekeepers of cash that these guys have people that give a shit.
Absolutely.
And they're unique, real people that are listening.
And they care so much and deeply are concerned for the well-being of this product.
Yes.
They're willing to put their, what's the word?
Not livelihood.
It's not livelihood.
It's their integrity on the line.
Yeah, they don't really have a reputation as an iTunes commenter, but yes.
But they're saying, look, these people are-
They're vouching for you.
These are who I stand by.
They're like a gangster that's going, he's all right.
He's all right.
He's okay.
You can use him.
You can use him.
A couple of things, house cleaning.
We're going to get into shout outs and we have some business stuff to tell our fans about.
Thank you very much.
This week was intense with social media engagement.
You guys were fucking amazing this week.
Thank you for everything and being so funny.
Yes, we definitely, definitely appreciate that.
We just have to announce one very cool announcement.
This right now, in the Crime and Sports studios,
is our last broadcast.
From this studio.
From this studio.
Because, goddammit, we started out in an even worse studio than this.
We made it work, and the sound sound.
You don't notice it from the sound because right where do we we work our
magic but but staring at james's face and seeing the pain on it as we sat at a kitchen yeah to
start out with kitchen slash dining room slash living room table well we're not there anymore
we'll get into the specifics of everything later but we're not going to be here anymore we're not
here we're moving into an actual really nice studio with the top radio station.
Brand new, state-of-the-art top radio station in the city.
So we're excited about this.
And so it's going to sound a little bit different, but it could only sound better.
Right.
It could only sound better.
But even with the excitement that we're projecting at this moment, it's not for us to really feel the excitement.
It's for you guys because you guys did this for us.
It's awesome.
Thank you guys.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you.
You got us noticed.
And we have some...
And they give a shit.
We'll give you some announcements later on when we do shout outs.
Things are coming.
Let's get into idiots and their doings and happenings.
Things are coming.
It's because of you, but it's more because of these fucking assholes.
So let's discuss an asshole.
Yeah, it's a good combination between you and people like Jimmy Superfly Snooka,
who we're going to do a little update on.
Jimmy Snooka was, I believe, episode five.
Was it five?
Was it that long ago?
I believe it was, yeah.
What was it?
Violent Forest Gump was the name of it.
It was that long ago.
Yeah, it was.
So Jimmy Superfly Snooka, last we left him, he was ruled, I guess, mentally incompetent
at the time for trial.
He's on trial for murder
of a woman in 1984
where he clearly murdered her.
Allegedly, whatever the fuck.
Prove you didn't, asshole, at this point.
She had green liquid coming out of her mouth
and you were the only one around her.
So guess what happens?
You did it, asshole.
So anyway, he was on trial for that.
He's like 73 years old.
He's been hit in the head several trillion times.
And they're saying he's mentally incompetent. Smashed with a coconut on TV. With a coconut. It's insane.
But he just had another, because every once in a while, I guess they have to check up on him.
You competent yet? Hey, can we put you in jail yet? Hey, do you know English yet? You know
English yet? Has Vince McMahon got anything to say for you? So apparently Snooker Skyped into
his court hearing from his hospice care place in Florida.
They don't have hospice around the world.
Hospice is where you go when you're going to die.
It's the last stop.
It's coming.
Yeah, it's literally heaven's waiting room.
Right. That's exactly what it is.
You don't go home.
No.
During the hearing, the doctor dropped, just talking about his health,
and said that he's been suffering from a bunch of infections and his prognosis isn't good.
The judge previously ruled him not mentally competent to stand trial.
Friday's hearing was to see if his mental state had changed.
No official decision yet, but it doesn't seem like it.
He has six months to live. That's what his doctor said.
Seems like he still has, as the official term is, pudding brain.
And that's not an insult to people with end-of-life problems.
It's an insult to him because he's a moron.
If you listen to our episode, you'll understand.
Hear Pudding Brain before these albums.
Absolutely.
Not like Pudding Boy.
No.
See Craig Titus for that.
No, no, that was Naposki.
Right.
See Eric Naposki, Murder for Boots.
And also the son of Ray Carruth.
Yes, that poor guy.
Courtesy of Ray Carruth.
That's Pudding Boy.
Yeah, that's sad.
Next couple months, too, just want to tell you guys,
we've got some wild stories coming up for you guys.
I can't wait.
We have a serial killer.
A bona fide serial killer.
That was an athlete.
That was an athlete.
An NFL athlete.
Athlete.
Serial killer.
Serial killer.
Legit, too.
Yeah.
Dozens.
Nicknaming everything.
Wait till you hear about this.
We have a guy who pulled out another man's still beating heart.
Get the fuck out of here.
And we have someone who was killed by their mother-in-law.
And you guys don't know these.
It's wild. These are all under the radar
stories. As is this one we're discussing
this week. And who is
our asshole? If you look on the Wikipedia
criminal athletes thing, he's not on there.
Never there. But he's a criminal and he's a
real dipshit too. Just a dipshit.
Can I ask you, because you told me why,
but I want to ask you and have you tell everybody else,
why are we covering
this guy this week?
Why are we covering
this particular guy?
Because who did he play for?
He played for the Dallas Cowboys.
And we would love
nothing more
than to knock those
fucking Cowboys fans
down a peg.
You bastards have had it
for too good
for too long.
Listen, guys,
we get it.
Cowboy fans,
we understand.
We get it, okay?
You're going to be upset.
Oh, they're bashing the Cowboys.
We're actually not going to be bashing the Cowboys that much,
but we both do hate the Cowboys personally.
We'll put that aside for our whatever-the-fuck-this-is integrity.
It's not journalistic, but I don't know what you want to call it.
But whatever that integrity is, we're going to put it aside,
and we're going to deal with this guy as a whole and the Cowboys case by case, whether they're shitty or not.
And they did some shitty things.
Right.
Enjoy your best record in the league, but we're going to talk about one of your fuck faces for a little bit.
We won't judge your football.
We're going to judge your character in this episode.
So enjoy that.
All right.
The episode this week is about Larry Bethea.
There you go.
Larry Bethea. There you go. Larry Bethea. Now, I found Larry Bethea while I was researching Thomas Hollywood Henderson,
who's another, I cannot wait to do that story,
but I'm holding him off for the new year.
Holding him off for the new year.
He's that kind of story.
But I found this guy who I had heard of him,
but I didn't know what the hell he did, anything about him.
Larry Bethea.
He's a monster.
Not really a monster, let's say. He's not a monster.
He's an idiot. This is a tale
of stupidity more than monstrousness.
He was born July 21st,
1956 in Florence, South Carolina.
He's a big kid.
Grows up to be a big boy, 6'2",
250. Grows up in the South
next to Willie Mays Aiken. I don't know
if he had flooring
or dirt or how this worked,
what the plumbing situation was like down there.
He was behind the toilet.
He turns into a really good athlete right away
and a brilliant student, too.
Really?
High school, he's National Honor Society,
which means you're smart if you're not from the U.S.
He goes to Homer L. Ferguson High School in Virginia.
It's in Newport News, Virginia.
He's a parade All-American, whatever parade is. I don't know, All-American. He's All-State in Virginia. It's in Newport News, Virginia. He's a parade All-American, whatever parade is.
I don't know.
All-American.
He's All-State in 1973.
He's like a student, like a leader of the student body.
He's like, he is Mr. Campus.
Way to hear what he turns down to play football more to.
What?
It's insane.
In high school, he meets his future wife, Gloria,
who they will have some interesting interactions,
as you can imagine, from school sweetheart high school sweetheart they got
together now in high school he's everybody loved him his coaches loved him the students loved him
the teachers loved why not he's a national honor society one of these and a great athlete too and
the best play football player they have he's the star athlete uh coach harlan hot of the football
team which sounds like a southern football coach harlan hot coach the football team you know coach of varsity how you
do harlan harlan hot i see you got love to meet you you got yourself a big boy there you should
sign him up for football you know what i mean sign yourself a strong young boy run him around
in two days we'll get him in shape let me tell you something so anyway build some character in
that boy he says of Larry here, quote,
he was the type of student and athlete you'd want every kid to be like.
He was not only a great athlete, but an overall student leader as well.
And he's big.
And he's huge.
All right.
And he's a big guy, and he's athletic too.
So later on we'll get into his athletic abilities, but he's a very athletic guy.
So he's so beloved in high school and such a great athlete and such a smart guy that reportedly,
and this is reported all over in newspapers and everything.
This isn't just Wikipedia here.
This is newspapers of the time that he was offered scholarships from both Yale and Harvard.
Get out of here.
To play football and go out as a student athlete also.
Because there, you can't just be a good football player.
You have to actually have good grades as well.
He goes to Michigan State instead.
All right.
Goes to Michigan State.
That's where the fucker is.
Actually, from what I understand, it's not a terrible academic school,
but it's not Harvard or Yale, obviously.
And they also have a little better football team, let's just say.
A little bit better.
They actually play football.
He clearly has an interest in one thing more than the other.
Yeah.
Education is not as big of a deal to him.
I picture the Harvard football team,
they found like three guys who are probably decently athletic.
And the other ones, it's like a bunch of brittle kids
who don't go out in the sun much.
You know what I mean?
And they're like, I can't.
It's too sunny today.
Yeah, lots of inhalers, lots of sunscreen.
Right.
You know it's going to bad sign before the game.
Like if you're betting on a game and you're looking at the
two teams in warm-ups and one of them is applying
sunscreen, fucking bet against that
team. They're not going to do well
I don't think in a sport of
aggressiveness. I don't think the sunscreen...
One team's doing stretches and catching passes
and running drills and the other team's like,
what is that, SPF 90?
Check in on what the field's
made out of. Is this rye? I'm allergic.
That's why I'm so stuffy.
Do you have any Claritin?
And then they're passing allergy medication back and forth.
SPF 230 fucking sunscreen.
It's like, come on, guys.
You sickly inbred.
When did you overseed this?
You sickly inbred upper crust assholes.
So anyway, 1975, he's in college.
He's at Michigan State.
Yep.
And he is a father figure
at this point
to his first cousin.
He's got a younger cousin
who's four years younger than him.
That's a lot of pressure.
And he's kind of,
this kid does not have a father
and he is living in Detroit
with no father
in the mid-70s.
Oh, Jesus.
So he could be on a wrong road
type of thing.
I mean, you never know
what could happen to this kid.
That's what I mean.
This is a 75, too.
The 70s were a messed up time in Detroit.
Probably not any more messed up than now, but still not great.
Now, Bell is in high school.
He's a sophomore at this point.
And this is Jarrett Bell, his cousin.
And he's flunking out of high school.
He's failed 10th grade.
And so Larry takes him aside and starts basically taking him under his wing and telling him this isn't what you want to do.
Showing him how to be an adult.
Exactly.
Starts taking him to Michigan State to show him the campus.
Oh, no.
Show him what you can accomplish.
Oh, don't do that.
This was a good thing, though.
It wasn't like, hey, let's do some lines.
Right.
It was, come over here.
I'm going to show you how to do a keg scan.
Yeah, come on.
Let's get you some women.
No, it was like, look what you can accomplish.
Look at what I have.
You can get here, too.
And it inspired him.
And he said he was so inspired that he ended up going to I have. You can get here too. And it inspired him.
And he said he was so inspired that he ended up going to Michigan State.
He graduated.
I mean, he really inspired this guy. He recruited him.
He basically recruited him.
And yeah, on the field, he was a monster.
A monster.
I mean, the whole time, he was a defensive lineman, defensive tackle, defensive end.
In high school, he played both ways.
He played offensive line and defensive line.
Really? He dominated everything. In high school, a lot of ways. He played offensive line and defensive line. Really?
And dominated everything.
In high school, a lot of times they do that.
You have a dominant athlete.
He's on the goddamn field every play.
You can get him on the field.
He was probably returning punts, for Christ's sake.
Best of luck tackling our fucking linemen.
Yeah.
I mean, at this point, too, he runs a 4.840, which is good for a big guy.
And how big is he?
Especially back then.
250, 6.2, 250.
But back then, that was athletic for a big guy in the 70s.
Now that's nothing.
They've got guys that are 290 that are athletic, are freaks of nature.
But that's, you know, Cam Newton's bigger than this guy.
Right.
That's the thing.
Cam Newton's much bigger than him.
And Cam runs like a motherfucker.
And he runs like a 4'3".
Right.
So athletes are different now.
He's like 6'6".
At the time.
But he finishes college with a school record of 43 sacks.
If you're overseas, don't know what football is,
that's tackling the quarterback while he still has the ball here.
That's going pretty simple here.
But some people are like, I don't understand anything about sports.
In a season?
Overseas.
Yeah, no, 43 sacks over his career.
Okay.
He sets the record in 77, the school record for having 16 sacks in one season.
And in college, that's like 10, 11 games back then.
So that's dominating.
That is killing it.
One point something a game, that's pretty impressive.
Also develops a bit of a cocaine.
Awesome.
A loving for cocaine.
An affinity for cocaine.
A little relationship.
This happens a lot, doesn't it?
Great guy, nice kid, everyone loves him.
You love him so much, you want to share a little cocaine with him.
Everyone likes him, including people with cocaine.
And he's a nice guy, affable.
Like, I'll try it.
I don't want to make the guy feel bad.
You know, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Like, crazy.
He's just too polite.
He's too polite.
That's all it was.
Too polite.
He was fine otherwise.
It was a thing.
He's got social cues to just tell him, I should do it.
If someone said, let's go cut that prostitute's head off, he'd be like, I didn't want to be rude.
I don't want to be rude.
It was his choice.
He invited.
He had a hack, so I just had to hold her down.
I said, what the fuck?
I don't want to be a dick.
He's a nice guy.
Gave me a ride.
Hilarious.
So 1977, he wins.
He's the first defensive player named the Big Ten
MVP
since Dick Butkus
wow
in 1963
Dick Butkus
is a Hall of Famer
that's not only
14 years earlier
but it's Dick Butkus
even if you're not
a football fan
you've probably heard
of Dick Butkus
not only because
his name is hilarious
but he was on TV
he was on commercials
if you look up
the old Miller Lite
commercials
he was on there
he had a grill
I think he had a grill
like Foreman when you said a grill i automatically thought teeth jesus
god no fuck with an old linebacker from the 60s the whitest guy in the world from chicago that
died with the accent and everything why the hell would he have a grill but no i think he might have
had i think he had some sort of barbecue he seems like the type of man that would sell a product
that sausages are prepared upon that's's all I know. Yeah.
So he's amazing in college.
Obviously highly touted by the NFL, as we're going to get into here.
May 2nd, 1978, from the Roosevelt Hotel in New York City. Oh, boy.
It's the NFL draft, baby.
He's in a suit.
Not like it is now on TV with a big deal.
This was just a bunch of old white guys
smoking cigarettes in a hotel conference room, drafting.
Trading people.
Trading young minorities, basically.
Yeah, that's all it was.
So Dallas picks Larry Bethea with the 28th pick
in the first round.
So he's the 28th pick overall.
It's funny, too.
Behind him in the draft, not a lot of great people,
not a lot of Hall of Famers, not a lot of real notable names.
Like four picks ahead of him, Ozzie Newsom was picked.
That's good.
The Hall of Fame tight end and current GM.
I think he's like vice president or whatever of the Baltimore Ravens.
Warren Moon went undrafted.
No shit.
Back then, black quarterbacks, nobody was drafting a black quarterback.
I didn't know he was undrafted.
Absolutely.
Black quarterbacks, no one was drafting them back then.
Is he the first undrafted player in the Hall of Fame?
Oh, no.
There's others.
But he, Warren Moon, it's funny, too, because I just was listening to a radio show he was on,
and they were talking about highlights of his from college, and I looked at him.
He was a freak in college.
Really?
Amazing.
The gun on him, he looked like black John Elway, basically.
And nobody took a chance.
Athletic, but more athletic
than john elway athletic fast he was cam newton that can throw better yeah he was cam newton with
a better arm not a better john wanted to scramble but for what reason i don't know because it was
always you see him run and you're just like oh no absolutely but he did it all the time break but
no he was always a huge big guy yeah he's six five years 240 or something
he's a big guy he's a wall you want to tackle him bring your lunch like once he gets past once you
get past the linebacker no quarter one no cornerback wants to tackle him he's much bigger
than that yeah um but anyway enough football technical shit we're gonna get into fuckery now
this is where the fuckery starts uh jared bell his first cousin, Larry's first cousin, was at his apartment when he was
drafted by the Cowboys.
What they do is, you get drafted by a team, they call
you at home. They go, hey, we just
drafted you, buddy. You go, holy
crap, thanks. I'll do whatever you want.
You want me down? Sure, no problem. Can't wait to meet
everybody. I'm excited.
The guy on the phone
said he wanted Larry to come to Dallas
right away for a press conference
because he's their first-round draft pick,
and the Cowboys were hot shit Super Bowl champions right then.
They're the Super Bowl champions at this point.
They beat Denver in the Super Bowl the year before.
Sorry, Jimmy.
They beat Denver and Craig Morton and the Orange Crush there in that Super Bowl.
So he is being drafted by Super Bowl champion.
That's awesome.
Could this be any better?
You turn down scholarships to Harvard, Yale. I mean, that's like right there. How many
people in the world are offered that? Very few. And especially how many people who aren't like
calculus wizards are offered that? Very few. Goes to Michigan State. It works out. He is now drafted
by the best team in the NFL. And also, too, the flashiest, gets the most press coverage,
and they're Super Bowl champions.
Deservedly so.
You can't get a better situation to land in.
He wasn't drafted second overall by a team with two wins
that he was going to suffer on or whatever.
Anyway, so he gets the call saying he's drafted,
and Larry right away says, and his cousin's sitting there recalling this later,
saying that he didn't want to rush to town
for a press conference.
What?
It was like, well, you kind of have to.
You're the number one draft pick.
You are a guy.
And he said on the phone to this guy,
I do it in their own words,
but it's too short for the music,
quote, I'm not coming to play for the press.
Holy shit.
You just got drafted by them.
You're coming to play for the Cowboys.
This is your dream.
What are you doing, dude?
What the hell is wrong with you? That's pretty awesome. Do whatever they want. He doesn't give a shit. No, Super Bowl champs. He already doesn't care. And it's so funny because the
Cowboys, Tom Landry, who is their legendary. Is it too easy for him? Is that what it is?
Well, it's going to get harder. But I think at the time, everything has been easy so far. He
does things. They work out. Gets drafted by the champs. No big deal.
Why wouldn't I get drafted by the best in the NFL?
Because he's done everything right so far.
Besides maybe a little coke in college, he's done everything right.
It's a college kid.
Who cares what he's doing, right?
He's keeping it together.
His grades are good.
He's playing on the field.
Tom Landry was the coach of the Cowboys at the time.
Legendary coach.
Coached for 25 years.
The guy with the hat and the fedora. Trench coat
and the scarf and all that shit. He had the suit jacket
and the trench coat if it was cold
and the hat and all that shit.
He always wore the fedora, right?
That was his thing. The hat.
It's a big deal.
Anyway, so Landry has a
quote on drafting him.
It's so funny because
they weren't real excited about him. Really? No. This is what he says. This is on drafting him. And it's so funny because they weren't real excited about him.
Really?
No, this is what he says on drafting Bethea.
Quote, we were looking for a cornerback or an offensive lineman,
but the field was so depleted by the time we got around to picking
that we had to draft for the best available athlete and not for need.
We couldn't fill the positions we wanted to.
There just wasn't anything there.
Bethea is a heck of an athlete, but he's no cinch.
Jesus. Like, didn't really want him was the there was a pile of garbage left and we said
that looks edible sort of lettuce isn't too well pretty much yeah just looking for the hot dog
that's not too mangled and maggot ridden uh so he comes to camp uh you know they're looking at him
to be a beast he's he's he's uh the gm of the team
gil brant loves him he says he quote he's no gamble at all he's disagreeing with tom landry
who's the coach he's saying no no no gamble this is great yeah like i said four eight forties
benching 400 pounds which back then is and and they were they weren't writing either back there
hgh or any of this shit he was just benching pounds. I'd love to be able to do that. Now, during camp,
players started to notice
that he was very talented,
but he had no...
No skills to speak of.
No heart.
No work.
They all said he had no heart.
It just...
Football wasn't in him.
No fire.
He had no fire.
Like, Hollywood Henderson,
like I said,
we're going to get a couple quotes from him.
I had to stop myself
from quoting the fuck
out of Hollywood Henderson
because we're going to do him later. And I'm like, no, no, that's a future in their own words. I had to stop myself from quoting the fuck out of Hollywood Henderson because we're going
to do him later
and I'm like,
no, no,
that's a future
in their own words.
I can't waste that now.
Fuck Larry Bethea.
He's got his own shit.
I can't waste his words now.
Not on him.
He gets his own story.
Larry's story's crazy enough
without Hollywood Henderson shit.
This one coming up.
So he says he nicknamed him
quote Papa Bear,
which I guess was
that he was just
kind of passive
and didn't really...
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Thanks for noticing me.
He'd want to rest after a couple plays and practice.
What the fuck, man?
Didn't want to practice with any kind of minor ailment.
And this was in his rookie year, and they're like, when you're a rookie, you're trying
to prove yourself and trying to say, I'll run through a wall, I'll do anything.
I'm a rookie.
I'd like to take somebody's spot on your team.
That's fucking crazy.
You're literally trying to take a man's job.
Right.
Anybody listening, if you've got a talent for anything,
go fucking use that talent.
James and I rearrange our whole lives to get to do this.
We don't even have talent.
Right.
We're just idiots.
We're not even great at this.
We're just assholes that talk about assholes.
Yeah.
And we change our whole lives around to be able to do that.
And this dick has all the athletic prowess in the world in the 70s and he's fucking squandering
it already.
Offered scholarships to Harvard.
This guy's got things.
Listen, we already played two plays.
Can I sit down?
There's four, dickhead.
Come on, dude.
Get in there.
And then there's another guy who, you know, somebody in the sixth round probably was like,
shit, yeah, go sit down and I'll get the rest. I'm going to take your job.
Go sit.
I got shit I got to prove.
Everyone's trying to take each other's jobs.
Now, the 78 season, his rookie season, the Cowboys finished 12-4.
So they have a great year.
They go on to the Super Bowl that year.
So first year he's going to the Super Bowl.
He's already got an NFC championship ring.
Amazing.
They lose to the Steelers 35-31.
Anybody who's a football fan will know the play that lost it for them.
The tight end who gets hit between the numbers in the end zone.
And I don't know how he couldn't catch it by accident.
It bounces off his chest like it was a Super Bowl.
He just didn't want it.
And the guy immediately as it bounces starts just punching the ground.
And the announcer goes, oh, he's got to be the sickest man in america
and that's the greatest call of anything he's got to be the sickest man in america right now
and the shot is him just like laying on the ground punching the grass and ripping it out like a
fucking child you're like oh that poor son of a bitch he's gonna go home and off himself that's
the guy that clearly took a couple plays off in practice definitely it. It wasn't Larry Bethesda. He gets a pass on this one.
It wasn't him.
1979 season,
that's the next season
he's in,
he comes into camp.
He's the same shit.
He just doesn't have
the same,
the heart as everybody else.
He,
that year,
Ed Too Tall Jones,
who people should know
who he is
just because his name's
Too Tall.
Right.
He's been in a lot of things.
Ed Too Tall Jones
was trying to be a boxer that year. What? He went to try to be he is just because his name's too tall right he's been in a lot of things ed too tall jones was uh
trying to be a boxer that year what he went to try to be a boxer for some reason he was in movies
i never knew that it's insane so they needed him to be a defensive end yeah larry bethea to be a
defensive end and he just they said he didn't have the aggression the coaches said he wasn't
aggressive enough to be a defensive end because you're going after the quarterback at defensive end.
So he's not doing coke before games.
He might, but it's not affecting him the same.
They moved him in the interior.
That fucking frosted-haired douchebag Skip Bayless.
Yeah, motherfucker, Skip Bayless.
I'm still talking about you, you shithead.
Not that you'd listen to this,
but fuck you still, Skip.
You Maury Povich-looking motherfucker.
I watched his show,
one with him and Shannon Sharp.
It's worse than the other one.
It's fucking worse.
And I love Shannon Sharp,
but it's so hard to listen to him, too.
It's terrible.
They're like,
I'll pretend to be an asshole
and you pretend to be an asshole.
No, both of you are assholes.
Both pretending and in real life.
Shannon Sharp's my favorite tight end ever
but play football and shut your he's funny too shannon he's being held back i just would rather
have shannon sharp just talking about you know toaster toaster pastries rather than hear him
arguing with the packets for frosting are so small let me tell you about those toaster strudels you
gotta do a wavy pattern on them you can't be doing crisscrosses or nothing.
You're going to run out before you get anywhere.
They need to double the frosting.
That is not enough frosting.
This fucking frosted hair atop a pile of turd Skip Bayless called him, quote,
no mean Bethea in reference to Mean Joe Green, which is a terrible nickname even, you shithead.
You're not even good at that.
You're not even good at sensationalizing something, you fucking douche.
No mean.
You no-talent old fucking hack.
Retire.
Retire.
That way you can go home and let your hair go gray.
Vain.
Vain.
The vanity of this asshole.
I'm 68 years old, but I'm going to have a frosty, permed, like a windblown look.
Go fuck yourself.
What, did you just come in in your convertible, you
fucking moron? Jesus
fucking Christ. Go home, collect
social security, and fucking croak, you
douchebag. Moving on.
I'm so excited right now.
I hate Skip Bayless. I swear
I did not mean to fucking go off on
Skip Bayless. Seeing his name written
makes me crazy. I
hate him. So he tells Skip Bayless. I hope that written makes me crazy. I hate him.
So he tells Skip Bayless.
I hope that's not his real name.
Skip?
It's not Skip.
I bet it's self-dubbed.
Yeah, yeah.
He got to, like, college
and he's like,
everyone calls me Skip.
Right.
No, they don't.
In terms of how good
he is at nicknaming people,
it would make sense
that he picked Skip.
So for some reason,
Bethea is talking
to this idiot
with a frosted fucking mop on his head.hea is talking to this idiot right a frosted
fucking mop on his head he's talking to this idiot and i don't know why he's nicknaming him
piss poor nicknames and he's saying he's telling him he's like giving him a heart to heart but
they are but they are saying he was only in his second year in the nfl and he's saying he regretted
not going to harvard really yeah he said he's regretting not going to harvard i have an in
their own words i regret it for you man no shit that was a dumb move but said he's regretting not going to Harvard. I have an in their own words. I regret it for you, man.
Yeah, no shit.
That was a dumb move.
But he's regretting being in football at all.
He's just not feeling it.
He was a fucking investor of some sort.
Something.
In their own words, quote,
I'd be in law school by now.
When I was back in high school,
I had more forethought than most.
Everybody else was into stars and heroes.
I had bigger plans.
So he's like, I have a head on my shoulders
more than these guys. I don't know where that head goes in the next couple of years. I had bigger plans. So he's like, I have a head on my shoulders more than these guys.
I don't know where that head goes
in the next couple of years.
I had forethought.
I wanted to be something
that was not in the fucking public eye.
And shit is going to fall apart quickly here.
He's going to be in the public eye
and then out of it
and then in it for the wrong thing.
That's pretty exciting.
1980, a little bit of tragedy here.
His sister dies in 1980,
which has to be a big deal.
He's still only like 24 years old at this point.
So, I mean.
Starts to make you think about your own life, though.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, you can't not think about your own life, I would think, if your sister dies.
Plus, who knows how close they were.
They could have been very close.
And he's a, people like him.
Like, he's a sweet guy.
He's very loving.
And, you know, people get close to him.
He's not like.
And at 24, when your sister dies, you think about
how short her life was cut
and then you start thinking about the mistakes you've made
and where you're at in your life. Granted, you're in the
fucking NFL, but he's probably sitting around
thinking more and more, I should have gone to Harvard.
Yeah, and also too, at this
point, right around now, he finds out that
him and his wife are not able to have children
also. Oh, which one?
Is it her or him? I don't have their medical records from 1980. I able to have children also. Oh, which one? It's kind of a big deal. Is it her or him?
It's not.
I don't have their medical records from 1980.
I want to know so badly.
I do too.
Is it his dick or her twat?
Let me tell you something.
I researched the balls off of this shit.
I look at a lot of things.
That was one piece of information I could not acquire.
That would be so fascinating.
If I could pull that out of my ass, boy.
If it's him.
Patreon.com slash Cribbin' Sports if I could him patreon.com sports you better play out man i but
i want to know i'm gonna say it's his faulty ball bag because of what happens after this his
unraveling makes me think it's gotta be it's gotta be some reason because that's that will
fuck a man up it's mostly cocaine but this might have been part of it or my wife just give it up
and be like well shit i don't think i'm not gonna have a family fuck it like who cares 1981 jared bell jared bell we remember him larry's first cousin graduates from michigan
state university look at this look at that right i mean he got him from basically high school
detroit street dropout in 10th grade to graduating from michigan state university that's a success
fucking a and he and he owes it to jared bell always says i owe it all
to larry larry was the guy who guided me through it he was like my father blah blah they were only
four years apart when he came into college larry was a senior and he was a freshman all right he
must have had a good freshman year because he's because larry hangs out with him all the time too
he's got the big man star on campus sack record holder right insane famous guy and that's your
first cousin you're with.
That doesn't know he's impotent yet.
Yeah, absolutely.
And two, he's like married at this point even.
So, I mean, who knows?
I'm sure he was fucking around on the side,
but if he wasn't, imagine everything that was being diverted his way.
If he's not fucking around.
Oh, the avalanche of shrapnel poon?
Diverted like the Colorado River.
Jesus.
Forget it.
Insane.
I'm married, but my cousin Jared ain't. He's not married. And he's sitting there like, hi. He's likeed the Colorado River. Jesus. Forget it. Insane. Yeah. It's wild. I'm married, but my cousin Jared ain't.
He's not married.
He's sitting there like, hi.
Hi.
He's like a journalism major.
Right.
I'm a freshman.
That means my dick is always hard.
Constantly.
I don't want to be the guy with the sack record, but whatever.
Now, Jared moves right to Dallas.
Really?
He moves to Dallas on a Monday.
His first night in town, he picks up his cousin from practice,
picks up Larry from Cowboys practice.
From the fucking field.
From the field.
From the compound.
Meets Ed Tutal Jones and Drew Pearson,
who are both very famous football players.
What a great night.
Huge stars at this point.
Not only that, they invite him to go to the Monday night football party
at the Playboy Club with them.
And they said, even if your cousin doesn't want to go, you come on your own at the Playboy Club with them.
And they said, even if your cousin doesn't want to go, you come on your own, blah, blah, blah.
We'll take care of you.
As long as Larry doesn't come along, you're invited.
So he ends up going out.
Of course.
What a great night in town.
He's with the biggest stars in town, Too Tall and Pearson. The biggest place to be.
He said it was beautiful.
I mean, imagine that for a kid who just graduated from college.
I can't.
Must have been the best, man.
Anyway, so he moves to Dallas that Monday.
The next day, the Tuesday, Larry gets him a job writing for the Dallas Cowboy Weekly,
which is a little magazine newspaper thing about the Cowboys.
So next day, he's got a job two days out of college.
He's the beat writer for the Cowboys.
It's not in the paper.
It's like one of their little publications.
But he's writing articles
and he's getting experience
and in Dallas,
if you work for the Cowboys,
you're pretty gold
and you can take other jobs
like the job he took
at the Dallas Times Herald
that he ended up getting
which is the big newspaper.
So he ended up
parlaying that later on.
It's called the Herald
of whatever.
Yeah, it's the Times
and Herald in it.
That's a newspaper right there.
I'll tell you something.
Now, 1981 season,
they make it all the way
to the championship game.
This is kind of the last hurrah
of the Cowboys for a while here
until the early 90s.
Yep.
But they make it
to the championship game.
And anyone who's seen
any of this,
if you've seen football highlights,
you've seen this play.
Joe Montana, number 16,
in the red uniform there,
rolling out to his right
and throwing kind of off his back and
hitting the guy just on the
fingertips he catches it. Dwight Clark
in the end zone. It's called the catch.
It's literally, in football, how many catches are there?
It's the one. 80 of them a game.
That's the catch. There's the catch and
the drive. That's the catch. If you look
at that play, because they show Joe Montana
from the front, you can see Larry Bethea jumping up and getting the ball thrown over him.
Awesome.
So he's the guy that couldn't get to Montana to lose the game for the Cowboys.
It wasn't his fault, but still, you can see him.
It's nice to have him there.
You can see him failing if you see that highlight.
Just look up the catch.
Joe Montana the catch, and you'll see Bethea failing right there.
So 1982 comes around a little more
hollywood henderson here hollywood henderson and larry bethea hollywood would later write in a big
article book that he did that this was the year where larry and hollywood just did free base
cocaine all year together oh my god they were free base and cocaine all season just having a ball
so this is larry has now crossed over from, what a great guy, does a little coke
on the side,
to,
we going to free base
cocaine right now,
tonight,
huh?
I'm hanging out
with this guy
that's nicknamed Hollywood
and we're going to go
free base a bunch.
Shit has gone awry.
He's gone off
the fucking reservation
like crazy at this point.
I mean,
what are you doing?
Left turn for sure.
This is,
this is it, man.
This is the left turn.
It's all downhill from here.
Oh, boy.
I mean, this is where it gets real interesting.
Now, 1982, no names mentioned yet, but 1982, a memorandum is written by an FBI agent named Daniel Mitrioni Jr.
A little shady here.
Let's not trust a guy named Junior in any strike, first of all.
And Mitrioni sounds a little suspect, too.
Mitrioni, I'm going to get into that, too.
There's a couple other names.
We're going to talk about this.
I've got a little something locked and loaded for this shit.
Anyway, so he is accusing five Cowboys players in this memo to his bosses of point shaving,
which anyone, if you don't know what point shaving is,
point shaving is obviously people bet on games and footballers point spreads right so they'll say i think this team will win by seven seven
points or more right now point shaving is you pay people to either either you score less points on
purpose or you let them get an extra touchdown on purpose or whatever maybe let them get an easier
kick for that field goal to go through down You trip and fall down when you're covering the receiver. You throw an interception if you're the quarterback.
You drop.
It's just little things like that.
Right.
And point shaving scandals have gone on forever and in every sport.
Every sport.
Every sport around the world I've read about.
Basketball's huge.
It's the easiest to do in basketball.
Football's a little harder.
Right.
Because there's more guys.
There's only a couple ways to score in the football game.
Plus, the more people on the field, the harder it is to control anything that's going on.
There's 22 guys out there.
God fucking knows what's happening.
So anyway, they would shave points, apparently, in exchange for cocaine.
Not even for money.
What?
For cocaine.
Oh, they're getting ripped off already.
No shit.
These are coke addicts.
That's a, yeah.
Coke heads do that.
Yeah, that's the only people.
Because that is a dopey thing to do.
This is all a part of an FBI investigation called Operation Airlift.
It's an operation that is basically looking into cocaine smuggling in the Dallas area,
out of the Dallas FBI field office.
Now, Mitrioni writes that two sources told him of these events that are going on,
separate sources, whatever, he hands it in.
The memo was given to his superiors two months later, once he, for some reason, he waited. But nothing
was ever filed because the supervising agent, Jim Siano, one second here, we're going to
talk about this, said it was too vague. He said, quote, I'm the one that handled the
report. I'm the one who decided what to do with it. Nothing was done because nothing
should have been done. This guy's like, go fuck yourself.
But I think he's covering his ass because this is at a later date.
Sounds like somebody's got some money riding on the next game.
Jim Siano and Mitch Rioni.
Why the fuck are all these fucking guineas joining the FBI in the early 80s?
What the fuck are you doing?
It's bizarre.
There's other much better things to do with your name.
I grew up, you weren't, like my grandmother is from Italy
and she didn't believe
in calling the cops.
She didn't believe
in calling the cops.
I remember a few years ago
I was at a house in Phoenix
and there was a shooting
down the street
and somebody wanted
to call the cops
and she said,
well what the hell are you doing?
Mind your own business
in her Italian accent.
Well that's,
you don't know them.
That's not your concern.
James,
I didn't know
who I was hanging out with.
You were in a neighborhood
where there was shootings down the street? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck? I don't know, somebody don't know them. That's not your concern. James, I didn't know who I was hanging out with. You were in a neighborhood where there was shootings?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What the fuck?
I don't know.
Somebody was shooting at somebody.
I'm fucking scared to death right now.
It's not this neighborhood.
What am I hanging out with?
So my girl was at Easter, too.
It was on Easter.
Who shoots people on Easter?
People in bad neighborhoods.
My grandmother.
It wasn't even that bad.
My grandmother, though though was upset that someone
wanted to call the police she's like what the hell i mean she's from italy you mind your business
she came after world war ii so she was like under not nazi occupation so she's like just don't tell
anybody anything hide in the hay just go say nothing say nothing that's what she did have
another meatball oh yeah that's it so but these fucking guys i don't understand it they all did
it back then it was like this weird thing where you were like, you were either, if you were an Italian guy, you either were like, they thought of as like a mob guy.
Or you had to run the other way and be the most upstanding man on the face of the earth.
You had to be like, I'm going to join the FBI and the fucking Rotary Club.
And I'm going to, you know, the Boy Scouts.
Put a badge around my neck.
It's fucking ridiculous, you self-hating assholes.
That's what they are. You fucking
self-hating douchebags. Hilarious.
Go join Skip Bayless in retirement.
Drop dead.
So anyway.
Now the NFL spokesman
said of this whole deal
here, this memo, Joe Brown, he
said, quote, we're talking to authorities to
see what, if anything, they have. And
as we routinely do with reports of this type.
Because I'm sure there's lots of shit coming into the NFL office.
Brown also said the NFL was investigating, of course.
Now, let's introduce the asshole, silver-haired, middle-aged white man of the week here.
Great.
If you're a hardcore Cowboy fan, you'll know him, because he was the president of your
team since its inception, Tech Schramm.
Okay.
Tech Schramm is a douchebag, silver-haired shit fuck.
And we're going to get into why.
Shit fuck.
They're all over the place this week.
You have so many opinions this week.
I do. I'm angry at these people.
Well, it's Skip Bayless. It's Italian FBI
agents. A lot of things are coming to the surface to me.
You're like an Italian Nancy Grace. I am.
Yeah, really. This is good.
Except there's no missing child, so good, except there's no missing child.
So relax, everybody.
There's no missing child that you're masturbating to.
This tech scram, this idiot here is one of these guys who likes to pretend like everything's fine and his players are his guys.
Meanwhile, he knows exactly what's going on.
Exactly the definition of a silver-haired middle-aged white man.
Just sitting there like, well, I'll cover for them if it suits my needs right and then otherwise i'll throw them under
the bus if i'm done with them because i'm an asshole win the game fuck up and i'll get ready
and tell everybody so now tech shram is aware of this memo at this point we're gonna have five
different occasions where he's aware of drug use and then we'll get a quote from him later on that
will make you want to go dig him up and piss on him. So he called the report, quote, ridiculous, 100% false, totally irresponsible,
and said anything strong enough to imply that is worth investigating.
And they didn't investigate it, so what does that tell you, basically?
So clearly it's not right.
He's telling, my guys are clean.
Right.
Fine. That's one report.
I don't believe you.
Otherwise, we wouldn't be doing this podcast.
Exactly. Exactly. Where would we be? Would we be doing this right now?
No.
No. It would be pointless to do this right now.
So July 9th, 1983.
Keep in mind, this was in basically the FBI uppers.
The bosses got this in February of 83.
Now we're in July of 83.
And we know that he's been freebasing with Hollywood, Henderson, and all this. So there's drug use. We know this. February of 83. Now we're in July of 83. And we know that he's been freebasing with Hollywood Henderson and all this.
So there's drug use.
We know this.
Five months later.
Five months later, five Dallas Cowboys are publicly named in an FBI probe of cocaine use.
How many guys were in the point chain?
Five.
Five.
So this sounds pretty coincidental.
Something's matching up.
These guys might be the guys.
Now, the players are Harvey Martin, Tony Dorsett,
Hall of Famer, and a great player.
Oh, shit, I've met him.
He's a great player.
Yeah.
Tony Hill, Rod Springs, and, of course,
our friend, our pal Larry.
Of course he's in the mix, too.
Tony is a fucking crazy little man.
Oh, he is.
He used to play for the Broncos, too.
His last season was with the Denver Broncos.
I met him at the Hall of Fame, because I went when Warren Moon got inducted.
Oh, wow.
And I met him.
I crashed Warren Moon's acceptance party.
You can just wander around that town and wander into the acceptance.
If you have the chance to get to Canton, Ohio during the Hall of Fame week, fucking go.
It's ridiculous.
I hear it's a good time. Every one of them that's in the Hall of Fame is fucking there go. It's ridiculous. I hear it every time.
Every one of them that's in the Hall of Fame is fucking there if they're alive.
That's awesome.
And so Tony's there.
It's like The Gathering.
All five foot seven of him.
Jacking on and getting down there.
Piss drunk.
Oh, man.
Hitting on my girlfriend.
Perfect.
Is the greatest fucking thing ever.
He's a nut.
He has some awesome quotes.
I had to stop myself from quoting him more because he's great.
I guarantee he's got that CTE shit.
He's got funny things.
He's fucked up and it's hilarious.
He was pretty lucid back then, as we'll see.
This investigation says that there's wiretaps implicating players and witnesses
and they're tied to, like, Harvey Martin and Tony Hill are subpoenaed
by the defense in a drug trafficking trial.
If you're subpoenaed by the defense in a drug trafficking trial,
you're hanging around the wrong fucking people.
Yeah, no doubt.
We'll put it that way.
It was the trafficking trial of Lora Berto Ignacio,
who's a Brazilian guy accused of basically
having a Brazilian cocaine pipeline to Texas.
The lawyers are, you know,
all the players have obtained lawyers at this point also
because they don't know what's coming down.
This is just announced.
We have evidence these guys are using cocaine.
We're going to publicly announce it and then figure it out later.
That's insane.
Can you imagine that now?
This is nuts.
That's really brave.
And there's no charges file.
It's not we charged five people and here they are.
This is just we're probing these five
guys we have evidence of just we're sullying their name and then we're walking along moving on
i think that's illegal now i don't know what the fuck it is but it's not illegal isn't that a
character assassination or defamation it's at least a dick move in the eyes of the law i think
that's classified minimal the 1812 ruling of Harris
versus Bergeron.
I believe it was ruled Dick Moon
by the Supreme Court of the United States.
Now,
there's an article about this
in the July 10th, 1983
Advocate Messenger from Danville,
Kentucky. It's an article
about the players connected to the drug
probe, and it says all of these details
but I couldn't even look at the details because
I was so distracted by the
insanely low prices
down at Hex.
It's a store and they're having
door buster sales, Jimmy. Is it Hex?
H-E-X? No, H-E-C-K-S.
Of course it is.
Apostrophe. Fucking ownership.
Some guy named Hex owns it. Robert Hex. Nice Heck owns that. Some guy named Heck owns it.
Robert Heck, nice to meet you.
Come on down to my store.
He's got doorbuster sales, Robert Heck, this Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.
Jimmy, you can get an Atari 2600 for only $89.99.
Wow.
Jimmy, $89.99.
That's crazy as heck.
Oh, man. Sorry. That's your weekly kick in Styrofoam. Oh, man.
Sorry.
That's your weekly kicking the balls right there, Jimmy.
Your weekly kicking the balls.
It's coming.
Everybody right now mentally kicked Jimmy in the balls.
Picture his face and picture it going, oh, scrunched up from ball pain.
I'm proud of that one.
Let's move on.
So you can get Styrofoam coolers for a dollar 19 a piece
you still can you still can six packs of pepsi cans only a dollar 59 you still can which drives
no they're like more six pack which drives me nuts because in the same era i remember from a
few weeks ago there was like a dollar 89 for two liters what the fuck is going on with pepsi prices
up and down like the stock market back then?
What is happening?
Like, what is it, one week?
Oh, shit, Pepsi's high.
Was it gasoline?
What's going on with this shit, man?
The sugar cane was cheap this week.
I guess so.
$1.59.
So we have Tex Douchebag Schramm here on the whole case here.
He says, quote,
It's a distraction because of the undefiniteness
of everything and i'm concerned because in the manner the names have surfaced we have no way
of knowing the validity or depth of their involvement my gut feeling knowing the players
is that if they were involved it was at a marginal level a recreational level which i don't think the
authorities are interested in is that the total silver-haired middle-aged right that was just kids being kids
messing around i'm sure they were recreational coke yeah i picture him playing miniature golf
and then just having a snort every once in a while just a quick one but otherwise very innocent
fuck no party hats on just a cake and clowns there's a mess of it on the dash of a fucking
72 buick in the parking lot. You know there is.
You know there is.
While a pimp looks at his watch going, when's he bringing that hooker back?
I hope she's not going to have cocaine all over her face.
She's not going to work well the whole fucking night.
That's a lost night of income, Jimmy.
You can't do that.
You can't coke up his hooker.
There's no hooker involved in the story at this point.
Now, also, too, there's an NFL report from the league that cites 10 players on the Cowboys suspected of drug use that Tram also knows about.
So he's just deflecting everything.
He just got the whole defense.
He did.
And the Cowboys have such clout media-wise, too,
that there's fluff pieces on the Cowboys coming out
six days after this report.
Wow, this is going on.
July 15, 1983, less than a week later,
there's an article, complete fluff piece on the Cowboys,
titled, Cowboys Image Not Hurt by Drug Tales.
Oh, boy.
Okay, you're telling us that?
Yeah.
We'll tell you if they're hurt, if the image is hurt.
This article calls them the cocaine cowboys,
which that's where that phrase came from, I think,
but also said how they're still the most popular team in the NFL
and it doesn't matter, and
people love them.
Still America's team.
Just glitz and glad.
It doesn't matter.
They haven't won the Super Bowl in five years.
Fucking 20% of the team's on cocaine.
Still worth more than any franchise in the NFL.
Which is funny, because that's 10 out of 50.
That's about 20%.
Remember Steve Durbano in hockey?
What did he say?
About 20%?
20%.
It's two guys on every team.
It's exactly the
same thing 20 that's hilarious so apparently in the 80s 20 of professional athletes were doing
coke whether it be hockey football canada right michigan texas it doesn't matter rich people now
july 18th 1983 tony dorsett running back your boy here publicly denies charges of cocaine use and
abuse he talks to reporters as he arrives
to training camp he's saying that he's not guilty of anything and that he sat down with investigators
last year last year when they were doing the other probe yeah the point so he just outed them as this
is the five guys you got your point shaving probe which probably fucking happened why did you talk
to the feds last year exactly and nobody guess what nobody put that together that's not in the paper i'm reading the shit i put that together not them they didn't say
hey he talked to them last year like in that other fucking thing for mitrioni that never came up
this i'm not a journalist we're not journalists we're comic idiots and these people were in the
middle of this in the middle of texas somebody with a with a notepad writing down what he said
never said wait a minute what skip balis before he said and never said, wait a minute, what?
Skip Bayless,
before he was a plastic surgery,
plastic fuckwad,
was there writing this down.
Before his botched surgeries.
Not putting any of this together.
Nothing.
It's fine.
He says that he's not guilty
of anything.
Like I said,
he said, you know,
he sat down with the investigators.
He would do it again
if they wanted him to
and that he's tired
of his name being dirty.
He's basically like,
what the fuck
you're dirtying your own Tony
he's got a quote here one day it's this story
then the next day it's another story
then it becomes frustrating
and you wonder why, why are they doing this
if you want to sling mud, sling the mud
let's get this over with
basically like if you're going to fucking charge me, charge me
and you never charge me and no charges are ever filed
so let's not talk about this anymore
it's insane man so this 1983. It's insane, man.
So this 1983 season is shaping up to be eventful.
Yeah.
This is training camp.
This is fun.
They just got there.
They're practicing without pads on.
They're running around in shorts and mesh shirts.
Quarterbacks aren't even getting hurt.
And a helmet.
Yeah, no, the guy with the red shirt on out there.
No one's hitting.
So this is getting crazy, and now we start getting a little bit of Bethea's personality
here. Awesome. And it's fucking great.'s he's a space cadet this guy quite
literally the real the real larry's coming out it's fucking funny he says and he keeps there's
a phrase in here that he's going to use again later on that i find amusing as shit this is him
at training camp in 83 with all this swirling pro cocaine probe and everything he says in their own
words quote i have my personal perspective in life together as a cowboy you have all things coming to the swirling cocaine probe and everything. He says in their own words, quote,
I have my personal perspective in life together.
As a cowboy, you have all things coming to you.
There's a whole lot going on.
If you don't have your perspective together,
you can get swallowed up like Thomas Henderson,
Hollywood Henderson, I told you about.
I think by perspective,
I think you can plug in the word shit in there.
Like, that's like,
I have my personal shit in life together.
Now, let me tell you something. That's what I got out of that. I don't think he's using the word shit in there like that's like i have my personal shit in life together now let me tell you something like that's the what i got out of that like he's you i don't think he's using the word
perspective quite like he wants to but that's fine now july 26 this isn't like a two-week period
this is july 9th the report came out about the fbi probe this is july 26th this is happening
nfl commissioner pete roselle because there's so much publicity around the FBI thing. He's got to say something.
He suspends four NFL players.
None of these guys.
Four other guys.
Pete Johnson and Russ Browner of the Cincinnati Bengals.
So much cocaine with the Bengals.
See Stanley Wilson.
No doubt.
Symphony of Self-Destruction a few episodes back.
That's a steamer.
Also, Greg Stemrick of the New Orleans Saints and E.J. Jr. of the St. Louis Cardinals.
All suspended for four games without pay. E.J. Jr. of the St. Louis Cardinals, all suspended for four games without pay.
E.J. Jr.
Yeah, you remember him, I'm sure.
He's a bad man because he's a junior.
He's a junior.
No, that was his last name.
Oh, okay.
His last name was Junior.
His last name was Junior?
You know he's got to kill someone at some point.
It's fucked for him.
Well, at this point, he is charged with felony cocaine.
He got arrested for felony cocaine possession.
So he is doing badly.
But Browner and Johnson were testifying at a federal drug trial of a convicted trafficker that brought cocaine from South America.
No charges are filed against either of them, but in the court documents it's shown that they were doing coke and buying coke from this guy.
Now EJ Jr. and Stemrick were both arrested in felony cocaine busts
and separate incidents.
They weren't, like, hanging out.
So they fined or suspended them?
They suspend these guys for games without pay.
Pete Rozelle, who we've talked about a lot,
silver-haired, middle-aged white man,
number one here.
Oh, extraordinaire.
These guys are, they don't,
he doesn't need them anymore.
He says that the players that are implicated in drugs
would be suspended
even if they were not charged with any crime.
So is this like foreshadowing?
He's got to make it a big deal right away?
Oh, yeah.
He's got to say, look, I don't even care if they're in trouble.
If I hear they're on drugs, I'm suspending them.
I'm cleaning the shit up.
Yeah, which is, get a union, guys.
Get your union strength up.
If I hear you're on drugs, you're out.
That's not how fucking employment works.
So anyway.
Especially if you've got a union.
Especially if you've got a union. Especially if you've got a union.
So Cowboys president Tech Stram, again, this dickhead says, quote,
it appears the league will not condone the use of drugs.
This puts NFL players on notice from this day forward.
You think so?
It appears they're not going to let it.
I thought it was fine, but it appears they frown upon that sort of thing.
It appears they do not even like recreational coke.
Schramm also said this, quote,
People may ask if this won't stop players from coming forward and admitting a problem so they can receive treatment.
What this is, is in the past.
If they had a problem, we want to correct it.
Oh, he said that with so much anger, too.
What the fuck does that mean?
He has no idea what he's saying.
Do you know what that meant?
No, he's just mad
and just spitting out words.
What this is is...
That was double talk.
What this is is
it's such double talk.
If they had a problem,
we want to correct it.
But no,
because then they're
going to get suspended,
which was the point
you made in the beginning.
And I love how he said
people may ask also
if this won't stop players.
Right.
Texans use the word
won't in place of will.
Have you noticed that?
They use won't
and it works for some reason.
That's the other thing, Texas.
How do you pull that off?
How do you say the opposite of the word that you want to say,
the literal opposite, and have it still sound the same and work fine?
You guys have some kind of way with fucking words.
You figured it out.
You know what?
Salute, Texas.
Good job.
The statement is like when your wife catches you looking at a woman's ass
and you just like stutter through the explanation. What happened was, yeah, I. Good job. That statement is like when your wife catches you looking at a woman's ass and you just
like stutter through the explanation.
No, no.
What happened was, yeah.
I saw shoes and there was a quarter and...
Jesus.
Your players are on coke, Schramm.
We're all on coke, Schramm.
Wake up.
Dorsett on the probe.
You looked at her ass.
Come on, Tex.
Get your head out of your ass.
So Dorsett on the FBI probe, another Dorsett quote.
He said, quote,
The whole thing would have never been more than a city case if it hadn't been the Dallas Cowboys.
I guess you're supposed to screen everyone you come in contact with to protect your image.
When you're America's team, you have to stay clean.
Do you sense sarcasm dripping off of that?
So much.
Well, I guess you've got to screen everyone you come in contact with if you're a cowboy.
Fuck you. Let's get that hugely. So much. Well, I guess you've got to screen everyone you come in contact with if you're a cowboy. Fuck you.
Let's get that hugely.
So funny.
So, 1983,
the cowboys are so concerned
about this,
they hire a former FBI agent
named Larry Wansley
to be on their payroll
to keep an eye on the players.
They literally have an FBI agent
on their payroll.
They bought a bug or a mole
and they told everybody,
we got a mole, here he is.
And they don't say that it is.
I got another one last Dorsett quote on this.
He says, quote, I don't think that's what we need to bring unity to this team.
If we can't do it without a security man, I think we're in trouble.
Which is smart.
He's called a babysitter, sir.
This guy, this is what they say about him.
He is, quote, there to be, quote, available to players who may need help in a variety of areas,
including drug abuse. His title is, get this, quote, director of counseling services.
I don't know. Hire a fucking counselor if you want to counsel them. You don't hire a fucking
law enforcement guy, investigative spy guy to come and tell me everything. Oh, yeah, sure,
FBI agent. Let me spill the beans. Hey, come here and tell me something.
Can you hold these handcuffs just in case?
Yeah, I feel really comfortable
telling you all my intimate details
when you have the federal government's
law enforcement behind you.
That sounds great.
And who are those guys with the earpieces?
Yeah, 1983, he wants out of Dallas.
Yeah.
They're not playing him.
Fuck yeah, I want out.
I do coke and there's a guy that frowns upon it
standing right there. Absolutely. So he's granted his release in 83 during
the season by tom landry he says all right we don't use you anyway uh one of the coaches said
about him this is great quote he was an unusual young man not in a bad way he just needed to be
coached in a different way i'm not saying larry was doomed from the beginning but today's atmosphere
i think he would have been handled differently.
I think they would have spotted his problem early on, which is, yeah.
Back then they were just like, if you played well or just played
and showed up and everything and you were on coke,
as long as you weren't making a big scene about it, they didn't give a shit.
It wasn't like, let's seek this guy out and help him and get his problem better
so him and his family don't fall apart and he has a bad future.
They were just like, I think we can get another year out of him.
You can have coke on your nose and be like, oh, I'm just ashy.
They're freebasing.
It's okay.
But we'll get it.
We'll get them together.
It's fine.
They're going to be there come game time.
Don't worry about that.
Now, we have one of the more bat shit in their own words here on his life in general.
He uses the phrase personal perspective again.
In their own words on life and leaving the cowboys and just his general outlook here.
Quote, I've got my personal perspective in life.
I met a psychic in Virginia who laid the groundwork for me to understand myself and the ways of the world.
It's far reaching and far fetched.
I know. I know you might think I'm from outer space. work for me to understand myself and the ways of the world it's far reaching and far-fetched i know
i know you might think i'm from outer space it was dropped off on this planet if you get my drift
but i'm here and i'm together and that's all that concerns me no what the fuck are you talking about
how much cocaine are you on if you're talking about that so much look man look man i know you
sounds like i'm like from another planet and drop me off you know if you get my drift but you know
it's cool because i'm here and i'm together, man. I got it together. My personal perspective,
my brother's psychic told me in Virginia,
what's that over there?
What's going on?
He just wanders off.
That sounds like every conversation
I've ever had with a homeless man
at an off-ramp of a freeway.
A homeless man or a guy on cocaine.
One of the two.
Or a homeless man on cocaine.
That was a...
The way you just did that...
The fuck is he doing?
It puts everything into perspective.
He's Marvin Barnes, plus about 40 IQ points and a bunch of cocaine.
That is crazy to bring in, to invoke a fucking, a psychic.
A psychic.
He said, my personal shit is together because I have this psychic that laid the groundwork for it.
Because I have this lady that reads rocks and she told me.
She told me, I'm good now.
So I know I was freebasing and the FBI is looking at me, but I'm good now.
She looked at a fucking geode and told me my life is in good shape.
Good God.
With their essential oils.
Their essential oils are telling me that it's time to quit the NFL.
She burned some sage in her room and told me my wife's great
jesus and he's banking on this he is an ed too tall jones here teammate that we talked about
before he has a great quote about him he says quote he would stare up at the sky at night
at night when we come out of training camp meetings and say, they're coming, guys. We just laughed.
We didn't know who was coming,
but he was always nice, extremely nice.
Always had something positive to say.
They're like, he was crazier than a shithouse rat,
but we were like, whatever, he's a nice guy.
If you came out of work with a co-worker
and you were like, all right, have a good night,
drive careful going home,
and he's just looking at the sky going,
they're coming.
They're coming, man.
What the fuck?
I'm out of here. Larry's crazy, man. That's just what they are. No, they're coming. They're coming, man. What the fuck? I'm out of here.
Larry's crazy, man.
That's just what they do.
No, I don't write that shit up.
I call security.
Keep an eye on that fucking guy.
Holy shit.
They're coming.
They're coming, guys.
Like, hey.
Now, December 29, 1983, the USFL, the United States Football League that we've talked about,
that Donald Trump ruined, that he killed and whatever
they signed him, they come calling
they're like we need this guy
the USFL was in competition with the NFL
they were an upstart league in 83
and they're just, I think 84 is the second year
of the USFL going into because they played in the spring
but so
they were looking for to steal NFL talent
period, if you were
NFL player so and so your ass was signed, basically.
Because it just looked legit at that point.
He signs with the Michigan Panthers at the USFL.
So he's going back.
Back to Michigan.
And that's another reason why they would sign him.
He's a local drunk.
He's a drunk.
If a guy can bring in an extra 300 people for the USFL, that meant something.
That's huge.
Their numbers weren't great.
They were like a struggling comedy club in a bad area. You're like like oh we're not drawing well yeah you really want to want to run a
wednesday show really really want to do that you want to do friday through saturday we got ta
burrows coming in this weekend run a wednesday show knock yourself out oh 18 people showed up
wonderful and i'm not talking about any particular club obviously so December 1983. We got a Tuesday open, Mike.
Come on, guys.
Every other Tuesday,
so best of luck finding which one it is.
Figure it out.
Figure it out.
Show up.
The other time,
it'll be fucking raccoons
playing Parcheesi on our stage.
You can bet on it, though.
There's points.
Holy shit.
I would watch out.
Some of the raccoons
shave points for cocaine,
so I'd really be careful about that.
Jesus.
So he signs a three-year contract
with Michigan.
So they sign a three-year contract.
He gets suspended left and right
for various bullshit.
On moving to the USFL
and leaving the NFL,
we have it in their own words.
He says,
quote,
I have no bitterness,
but they didn't play me,
and I felt my services should
have been used like i have services i know when the aliens are coming you need to put me on the
field coming guys okay so he's just he was mediocre on the field he just was he's known as a huge bust
he was a number one draft pick he's supposed to dominate he's supposed to take over for two tall
jones for christ's sake and be this who's a hero in Dallas.
And instead, he's just an average guy who they couldn't even,
they had to move to the interior.
Who missed the ball at the catch.
And we know why.
He just didn't have it.
It's like, I'm just going to do coach.
He didn't want to do it.
He didn't want to do it.
He didn't want to.
How sad is that?
It is sad.
There's a lot of people that would kill for that.
Oh, my God.
Plenty of people.
Forget it.
We've talked about them.
So March 20, or March 1984, Larry and another Michigan player are suspended for missing practice.
Apparently they were all fucking off together.
Gee, you think cocaine was involved, maybe?
They're reinstated a week later.
It's just like, eh, whatever.
We'll welcome them back in.
We need players.
We need bodies.
Need them.
Now, March 1984, we get an interesting twist.
Remember FBI agent Daniel Mitrioni Jr.? Remember him? Rings a bell. Yeah. bodies need them now march 1984 we get an interesting quick twist member fbi agent daniel
mitrioni jr rings a bell yeah he pleads guilty to bribery conspiracy and intent to distribute
cocaine oh my god yeah he pleads guilty in 84 to this shit how crazy is that because cocaine
makes a lot of money because he wanted a better life for his family and you know what if you're
sitting there doesn't pay shit well if you're an fbi agent and you're making you know decent money but nothing
you're not wealthy two cars you take a vacation once a year but you're not you're not wealthy
and you're going investigating ever see wolf of wall street when they go see you see leo on the
boat and he's like throwing handfuls of cash yeah and they're just looking at him like you
motherfucker that's what it is i mean every once in a while, someone's going to go, maybe I'll do this for a little while.
My life looks better than this one.
Bank two million and then finish out my career and have a nice retirement.
He just threw a fistful of hundreds in the air while two supermodels were blowing him.
Absolutely.
Blowing him and snorting cocaine off of his nutsack.
And I'm sitting here with binoculars watching it from afar.
And enjoying it, actually, too.
I'm yanking to it. I'd like to be involved in it. I'm totally y with binoculars watching it from afar. And enjoying it, actually, too. I'm yanking to it.
I'd like to be involved in it.
I'm totally yanking to it.
So all of these charges stem from his work in Operation Airlift,
which, remember, was his whole Dallas organization.
Yeah.
The probe of players shaving points and raccoons shaving Parcheesi points.
He's being held in Pittsburgh at this point,
and a federal office in Pittsburgh,
and he's cooperating with authorities.
So that's going on.
I wonder how much shit they got off of that.
It had to be crazy.
A dirty FBI agent.
Other agents.
He's just singing for a smaller term.
He knows what he can get.
Other agents, people that he let get off for payoffs and bribes and coke.
God damn it.
People must have been shitting at that point.
Like, oh no.
and coke and god damn it people must have been shitting at that point oh no so in 1985 the usfl started to fall apart a little bit and some of the teams were merging with each other just
some of the markets didn't work in 85 the michigan panthers merged with the oakland invaders they
become one team and this happened with the arizona wranglers and the uh out, Oklahoma Outlaws, they merged, became Arizona Outlaws.
Anyway, Larry is traded.
They don't want him anymore once they've merged.
He's traded to the Houston Gamblers in exchange for some draft choice or something that they'll never get to use because the league's about to fold.
Because the league folds in 86, so it doesn't matter.
But in April of 85, he's released by the Gamblers, so he doesn't even make it through the whole season.
Basically, late to practices, plays like shit on the field.
He's a malcontent, doesn't try. Playing like a cokehead would play.
Doesn't try, doesn't give a shit, basically.
So this begins his walking the earth phase of his life, basically,
where he's just like...
Because he's impotent. He has no kids.
He's off in the middle of...
At this point, he begins roaming
the Pacific Northwest.
Said he would drive around.
Wow.
Just stay places.
Claimed he was homeless
in Seattle for a stretch.
Wow.
Like kind of by choice.
Just hanging out.
Makes you think
that a big guy like that
wandering through the woods,
maybe some of those pictures
that people snapped
of Bigfoot were him.
Maybe it was him.
That's possible.
You never know.
He could have not shaved
for a while.
It's a giant football player that's just running around in the woods.
Looks a little fuzzy.
So he claims to be homeless in Seattle, and he is in the woods.
And we know he's in the woods, like Bigfoot,
because he gets arrested the weekend of July 26, 1985,
for setting three fires.
He sets three fires in the Mount rainier park in paradise washington
what he three why this wasn't like you got caught like uh that's not a you're not allowed to have
campfires in that section you did and it's a 25 fine this he set fire wildfire he's setting shit
on fire out there what the fuck is wrong with you what are you doing and first of
all two you're in washington's the wettest place ever nothing's gonna burn but he's setting for
long anyway not for long he's setting fires around this park three of them that's scary he gets
arrested for it i mean obviously yeah they got him i mean he ends up uh all they give him is
he gets like a probationary thing it's like a minor thing thing. And he gets $100, $1,000 in fines
to pay the fire costs, basically,
for the cost of putting it out.
That lets you know how small those fires were.
Yeah.
And how wet shit is.
But he went and wanted it.
He's like, I'll go straight over there.
That looks drier.
That looks like kindling.
Let me fire it up.
Let me get the old Zippo out.
Some pine needles over here.
Unreal.
So he ends up pleading guilty
to setting a fire in an unauthorized place
and disorderly conduct.
And that was that.
That's the crime.
Like, you fucking idiot at this point.
So now he's out of the fucking league.
Out of the league.
He totally blew it.
He's talking about psychics and space shit.
He's, like, out of his mind crazy.
He's wandering the Pacific Northwest setting fires.
Six years ago.
In the last ten years, he's been offered a scholarship to harvard
and drafted by the super bowl champions played in a super bowl could have tackled joe montana
and stopped the dynasty from happening all this shit and instead he's wandering around the pacific
northwest he's homeless he he wanders into a storefront he doesn't know what it is and it's the shawarma man and he says how is it you've come to arrive here huh why are you here harvard you could go to school
you go harvard you go down you have star on helmet you end up in here you want shawarma
sign say closed what's wrong with you with the cocaine, you freebase?
Why you set it on fire, man?
You just snort.
What's wrong with you, man?
What's wrong with you?
You set too much on fire.
For why?
For why?
With the fire, the cocaine, the woods, you want to set it all on fire.
Why?
My lamb you set on fire?
No, I make for you.
It's okay, I make.
Here, here, I make for you.
You have.
October 3rd, 1985.
FBI says that they are reinvestigating Operation Airlift and the point shaving to, quote,
determine the facts and whether the information was acted upon properly. Because now this FBI agent, they're basically reinvestigating everything he ever did because
he's crooked.
Because he's singing.
Absolutely.
He's singing.
And so this is going on nothing ever
ends up coming of that though in the point shaving for for him that just kind of goes by the wayside
i don't know if there was some dirty shit going on the fbi said let's just not talk about this
anymore yeah we already got the guy out there in trouble mitrioni and so now august 5th 1986
he has quite the fucking day this is quite the eventful day he he got up he ate his fucking
wheaties he got his energy he put sugar some sweet and low on him and he put on his best
you know he put on his best clothes he put on that shirt that you feel good in yeah you're like
yeah this shirt the color looks good on me it's cut right you know like this is the one he put on
his finest clothes he went out into the world and he was like that sweet and low on those ladies really looked like coke he went and really used
some coke he began just a mountain of fuckery at this point holy balls here august 6th is not his
day august 5th 1986 uh so he starts out at his mother's house in virginia is where he begins
and we'll tell you what he was doing there, but not yet.
We'll get to that because it's a fun surprise, okay?
He's at his mom's house.
Without warning and without prearrangement,
goes, buys a ticket, boards a plane to Dallas immediately, okay?
He's just like, I got to get there.
Flies to Dallas. Now, what he does in Dallas is somehow find his wife, Gloria.
His wife filed for divorce from him after the fire incident.
Of course.
She's like, you're crazy.
Now you don't even have a job.
You're a crackhead.
You're lighting shit on fire.
And you're lighting shit on fire.
I'm out of here, right?
So she still lives in Dallas.
She's driving around Dallas running errands.
All of a sudden, she sees a taxi speeding
up behind her and like being right on her ass and like waving her over. Follow that car. She stops.
She's like, what's going on? She didn't know if she had a flat tire or what was happening. She stops.
The cab pulls up behind her, stops. Larry jumps out of the cab. He tracked her down in Dallas.
Dallas is a big city. He somehow found her in Dallas
driving her car
in a taxi.
Like,
he just,
did he get in the taxi
and go,
just drive?
Right.
Just drive.
We're looking for a,
I'll tell you when to stop.
Yeah,
we're looking for a green Mazda,
man.
Just,
I know the green Mazda.
Just don't worry.
Just drive till you see one.
Okay.
Like,
I pictured the poor cabbie.
It's very individual.
She gets out of her car.
He gets out of the cab.
They're both out in the road
he punches her in the mouth oh my god punches her in the mouth throws her back in her own car
he hops in the driver's seat and takes off with her in the car with her in the car holy shit
that's kidnapping that's at this point yeah i would say so that's charge one charge one so
somehow he drives around dallas for a while with, decides that they're going to go to the Sheridan Hotel in Dallas.
They go in there.
Somehow he fucking checks in with a bloodied wife and goes,
I don't know if he already checked in beforehand and was just going back,
takes her up to the room.
So now he's got her in the room.
Somehow, at some point, she gets away from him and runs out
and ends up getting the hotel manager to call the cops because she's bloody and everything else.
So police spokesman Bob Shaw said, quote, when police arrived, our officers noticed the woman had a busted lower lip and scratches on her arm.
That'll do it.
So they automatically were like, hey, what happened to her?
Obviously.
So they're at the hotel.
The cops arrest him at the hotel because he's still up in the room.
They arrest him and they get a little's still up in the room they arrest him
and they get a little bit
of a surprise
when they search him
they pat him down
and on his person
on him
in pockets
and taped to him
and everything else
they find
$61,375
in cash
what the fuck
mostly in $20 bills
bundled up
he flew with that today
he flew with that
he is being held
on $50,000 bond
now for grand larceny
because we're going to find out
where he got that money from.
Oh, shit.
It's not even his.
Not his at all.
Where the hell is he
going to get that money from?
He's homeless in Seattle
last year
setting fires
in the fucking forest.
And now all of a sudden
he's got $60,000
taped to his purse.
Cash money.
Yeah.
Back then in 86.
That's a lot of money in 86.
It's a lot of money now
but in 86
that was a shitload more money.
Tipped to his chest.
It's 50 grand for the money for his bond and 200 bucks for assault.
So you can beat your wife up and get out for 200 bucks.
But God forbid you steal some cash.
That's 50K.
You are in prison, boy.
But if you just punch your wife and kidnap her and drag her around the city.
Scratches all over her.
And fucking hold her in a hotel room.
That's fine.
200 bucks.
200 bucks.
Nothing.
Picture Sonny Corleone of The Godfather after he breaks the guy's cameras, peeling a couple
off.
There you go.
A bus.
Get out of here.
Hold on.
Here's 200 more.
I'm going to punch you tomorrow, too.
What the fuck is that?
You can't.
And how is he not charged with kidnapping?
How is he not charged with?
Yeah.
Like, you could have had 20 charges on that.
Reckless driving, I'm sure, could have been in there, too.
Grand Theft Auto.
I mean, literally, if you went through that, you could have charged him with a couple of
things.
A gamut of things.
It would have been crazy.
They're more interested in this money, because you know where this money came from?
Oh, no.
Earlier in the day, before he boarded the flight yeah he was at his
mother's house and he pried open her safe oh what a shit bag he pried open his mother mother's
safe and stole her life savings that she didn't keep in a bank because she was old school and
didn't trust banks and there's a lot of people like that my grandmother wouldn't fucking keep
all her money in a bank old people don't do that shit.
$60K.
$60K.
It was $64,000.
He had spent $2,000, whatever,
because he only had $61,375, I believe,
when they arrested him. He got a late flight and probably flew first class.
Yeah, and also the cab fare.
Yeah.
Fucking driving around Dallas for two hours
looking for a green Mazda or whatever the hell he was looking for.
That'll cost you $300, $400.
So, I'm sorry.
We've had a lot of people
do a lot of shit.
Eddie Johnson
sexually attacked
an 8-year-old girl
or a 10-year-old girl.
Chad Curtis
was on top of people.
Dave Meggett
would rape anything
that was within
arm's reach of him.
I mean, we've had bad people.
We've had Schleester.
Dish towel.
Fleece people.
Dish towel.
Tom Payne.
Dish towel.
Tom Payne.
Jimmy Superfly
snuck a kill in killing his guy we had a
guy who fed his girlfriend to dogs to the mother of his child he had her chopped up and fed to
dogs bruno de saza episode six but they did not leave their mother destitute he stole his mother's
everything life savings stole her everything and said what can i do with this money first thing
i'm gonna go do is beat that bitch's ass that's number one i'm gonna go beat the shit out of my
wife unbelievable what the fuck is wrong with this guy this is when i was like because i was looking
at this story and i'm like i don't know and then i thought about it and i'm like i started seeing
other shit and i'm like wait a second he stole money from his mother his mother oh not to sound
like an old guinea,
but, you know, like your own fucking mother.
What's wrong with you?
Huh?
You got no fucking self-respect?
Get over here.
He needs an old...
Get over here.
I'll shoot you on Easter.
Yeah, he needs an old, like, a fat guinea there
to, like, smack him in the head.
That's crazy.
What a fucking asshole.
Now, speaking of assholes,
his wife, Gloria, who, mind you, I feel bad for. She's getting beat up and everything else, but she's also an asshole. Now, speaking of assholes, his wife, Gloria, who, mind you, I feel bad for. She's
getting beat up and everything else. But she's also an asshole because right after this all
happens and they get arrested, their divorce proceedings are still going on. She files a claim
to Larry's mother's money in their divorce proceedings, saying that she is claiming that
under Texas law, the money should be
considered community property even though he was trying to hide it and she was entitled to quote
at least half well at least possession is not fucking stolen it's fucking stolen what do you
you can't just claim to somebody else's money this is not his money how do you do that you can't you
can't say that that's not you can't
that would be like if he went and stood on a guy's property and said this is mine now and she said i
get half of that what about the fucking guy whose property it is does that it's not his unreal man i
that's balls right there that's her and her imagine her lawyer being like we get half that money she's
like you think we can that's shit let's that's exactly what he that's what happened you know we get half of that yeah i saw your husband we get half of that money. She's like, you think we can? Shit, let's file it. That's exactly what he did. That's what happened. No, we get half of that.
Yeah.
I saw your husband.
We get half of that
and I get 10%.
Now, the Dallas County
Sheriff's Department
is holding the money
as evidence, obviously,
because it's fucking evidence.
Gloria Bethea,
his wife here,
asked a Dallas family
court judge
to grant a temporary
injunction to keep
the sheriff's office
from giving the cash
to Virginia
until their divorce is final.
So she can get a piece of it.
She's a bitch. This lady sucks.
Not punch in the mouth sucks,
but sucks. She sucks.
Listen, man. Sometimes...
These are bad people together.
She deserved it.
Now she deserves a punch in the mouth.
She didn't then. Now she does.
Now she deserves another one. But mouth. She didn't then. Now she does. Now she deserves another one.
But not from him, from his mother.
From his mother.
His mother should come and be like,
you bitch and pop her right in the mouth.
She should kick her in the mouth.
I would be perfect with that.
What a bitch.
So a lawyer for the sheriff's department said,
quote, the sheriff's office takes the position
that the money should be sent back to Virginia
as part of the grand larceny case.
End quote.
Fucking obviously.
Off the record, probably.
And because somebody may need some fucking Geritol
or some fucking, any sort of prescription money.
The poor lady needs that to serve up.
She needs her money, and we're going to get a quote from her on how she needs it.
$64,000, it's not going to last forever.
No, there's a hearing, maybe in Virginia,
she probably lives tight, you know,
with Social Security, a little cash so you don't get charged.
Maybe she spends $800 a month.
Yeah.
Now there's
a hearing set for monday march 8th or monday september 8th to figure out what to do with this
money they end up saying obviously it's going back in the case uh now september 5th uh 1986
here larry's in jail still awaiting trial he is at the uh he's at the lou sterrett justice center
in dallas texas awaiting trial still 50000 bond that he obviously can't fucking pay unless he uses his mother's money.
Larry is found unconscious in his jail cell early in the morning.
So they take him to Parkland Memorial Hospital for, quote, precautionary examination,
which I infer the meaning means like we think he's full of shit examination, precautionary.
Like we'll check him out, one of those things.
Once he regains his senses, he refuses to talk to nurses.
Larry's like, I'm not talking to any of these fucking people.
Except for later on the day when he would keep complaining of severe headaches.
And the doctor said they could find nothing wrong with him whatsoever.
And by 6.30 p.m. he's back in his jail cell.
So he earned himself 12
hours of like hospital good for whatever he got he got a vacation for a little bit apparently so
so you got some ice chips and some pudding definitely now september 7th the next day
he's still at the jail the same jail here 50 200 bond he signs a waiver for Alice Bethea here. Long-suffering woman.
She said she will prosecute her son
because she thinks that if
she doesn't, he'll keep the money.
That's what she said.
That's literally it. She said,
quote, he took the money out of here and he won't
bring it back. This sounds like an old black woman so much
and I love her. I just want to hug this lady.
She said, she took the money out of here and he won't
bring it back. And I'm not trying to hurt Larry
because I love him.
He's my son,
but that money is all I had to live on.
You can just picture it being like,
I ain't got no money.
I got nothing.
I got nothing.
Yeah.
I love this lady.
This poor Alice.
I want to give her a hug.
I do too.
She's great,
this poor woman.
That was in the 80s.
She's probably dead now.
Probably.
Now, December 3rd, 86,
there's an article about
all of Bethea's troubles and just all of the say but they is troubles and
just kind of a whatever and uh in this article i found a hilarious thing about willie galt and
jim mcmahon of the of the bears yeah and apparently they're not getting along in this article next to
it it's so goddamn funny like some of their teammates don't like them listen to this quote
of two years after the super bowl yeah two years yeah years. Yeah, a year later. Yeah, a year later. They won it in early 86.
This is less than 12 months later.
And they're already not getting along.
They're already not getting along.
Linebacker Otis Wilson said of Willie Galt,
because it's Willie Galt and Jim McMahon not getting along,
quote, put it this way,
if I had to trust him with my life or my wife,
I wouldn't trust him with either one.
Oh, my God.
My wife or my wife.
You're not getting either, asshole.
And Willie Galt, their family hates
Jim McMahon and they're bitching that he's not throwing
Willie the ball to Florida. And here's
the two I really feel bad for. Top flight. That's
the golf stuff. I think it is. And it's in
Florida, too. Pensacola, that's the hardcore golfing
area, as we found out
with Mr. Spencer,
Brian Spencer, PGA Boulevard. That's right.
That's right. Larry Bethea, commander at the VFW post number 8564 in Waco, Texas.
That is the Veterans of Foreign Wars.
It's like a place where old veterans hang out.
Old war heroes go and talk about the war.
They hang out and smoke and complain about shit.
They can smoke indoors still, even though it's illegal in most places because it's a private place.
Apparently he really needs to raise money for post 8564 due to quote dwindling participation in the bingo
program where they're shaving points in that bingo oh you know they were like a motherfucker now the
guy 56 bingo i said b46 the guy i really feel bad for, though, the most, because I almost confused.
I almost conveyed it now.
You want to write it once you get your life together.
That way it's a story of triumph.
Because right now it's just fucking pathetic.
Right now it's just, hey, this is kind of sad.
And wow, he's really bitter.
And ooh, all those guys did cocaine.
So they're set up all night.
They talk about this.
And it's just bullshit talk.
You write a book.
We'll do this. It's like people talk um they fall asleep jared wakes up larry is gone
and his apartment door is wide open he didn't even close his door he just left his now i picture too
it's not in this because he's his cousin he wouldn't say it but you fucking know he stole his
vcr you know he committed the most 80s crime ever and stole his VCR
for crack money.
You fucking know it.
I'm sorry.
How crazy is that?
No, he did.
While wearing a
member's own jacket.
I've never had anybody
leave my house
and just leave the door open.
Wide open.
That's so bizarre.
What the hell?
It's his cousin.
It's not a frat house.
He went to his cousin's house
who's a professional guy
who works for the paper.
Closed his goddamn door.
He had to leave
the shit mysterious.
I want to write a book.
Yeah.
Go to sleep
when you wake up.
We'll talk about this.
We'll talk about it more.
Where's he at?
The door's open.
So now, continuing 87, beyond February,
he's in Hampton, Virginia.
He's living with his mother.
His mother let him move back in with her.
What the fuck?
She's a saint, that Alice.
She's amazing.
Everybody, if Alice is still alive,
which she's probably not,
but if she is and you live in Hampton, Virginia and she's around there. Tell her I love her. You go over,
you knock on her door, you bring her something to eat. Yeah. Bake her some goddamn brownies. Don't
put any weed in her. Bring her some sweet tea. Bring her some sweet tea. You know what? Just
kick her. Have a conversation with her. Get a couple bags of groceries, leave them on the
doorstep, knock and run away. Yeah. There you go, lady. Here's some steak swerving or something.
There you go. Help her out. Now you're on board. now you're on board she won't take money she's proud she's proud she doesn't want anything from
you she's proud they're the guy there they they were they were like the higher holding the hot
potato with the league folded and they have to they have to when he retired when this guy got
so they have to pay him some checks he is getting bi-weekly checks, so two checks a month for a total of $332 each.
So he is making $664
a month, which even in 87
is not great.
Not great.
Things are so bad, he works as like a
mover for a couple weeks, but then quits.
And he's just trying to find something.
His friend says that he
basically would spend his $332
every two weeks
on cigarettes, beer and cocaine. Yeah, just that's all he would do. He actually applies for a job.
It's a 711 a few blocks from his mother's house and does not get the job. Wow. So you went from
Harvard offer. Yeah. Super Bowl champion team. Top of the world. Playboy Club. Monday Night Football.
Champion team, top of the world, Playboy Club, Monday Night Football.
Harvard offer to Michigan State to stud on campus.
Please hire me to clean the slushy lines.
And they say, nope. May I sell Slurpees?
No thanks.
Also, too, at this point, I feel bad for poor Elvis Bethea.
March 2, 1987, Jet Magazine prints a correction
because earlier they had named former Houston
oiler Elvis Bethea as the guy who stole his money from his mother.
So this poor guy has got a fucking article about him that he's a scumbag that stole money
from...
He's the ultimate mistaken identity.
I feel bad for this guy.
Not even his real name.
No, he's got the last name.
That isn't close.
That's piss poor, man.
Okay, April 23rd, 1987.
Yeah.
This is when shit gets a little...
Uh-oh.
This is bad stuff here
now larry cashes a paycheck it is his last paycheck that he's getting from the gamblers
okay last check and it's only for half the usual amount his last check i guess it was the end of
the line and that's all the money that was left in the whatever right so larry's depressed of
course obviously he can't afford all the coke and beer and cigarettes.
He tells his friend that he has to get out of town and he just can't take it.
But he cashes his check and buys cocaine with it.
So he gets himself all good and coked up because that's what you do to get your nerve up.
That's how you leave town.
Wanders around Newport News, Virginia.
Just wandering around looking for shit to get into basically.
Starts breaking into some cars around his mother's neighborhood looking for things.
Finds a.38 caliber handgun in one of the cars and decides this could be helpful.
This could be useful for a guy who needs cash.
This will help you get cash.
I found a money getter.
So he wanders around, ends up at 11.25 p.m.
He walks into a tinny giant, some like convenience store.
And the clerk, Mariam Coleman, think about this, okay?
He walks in and robs this store.
The clerk behind the counter, Mariam Coleman, went to high school with him and has known him for over 10 years.
Oh, God.
She's known him for almost 15 years
this person and he still he still wants it so bad he still he knows she knows him and he still robs
her what gets 27 you know you're gonna get caught so dumb 27 he got out of that you think that's
enough do you think he's gonna run away fuck no no because you know what because that's enough? Do you think he's going to run away? Fuck no. No, because you know what? Because that's not enough money.
Right next door, you know what's right next door?
A 7-Eleven.
Do you know which 7-Eleven it was?
The one that didn't hire him.
The one that he applied for a fucking job at.
Not only do they know who he is, they have references.
He's got an application.
Here's three people that know me.
They have references for this guy.
They can go, hey, you know where Larry is?
Yeah, that's how much they know who he is. college diploma there you know shit uh the employee of the 7-elevens
a woman named nuna hill she said quote i didn't know his name i didn't know he was larry bethea
but he was just a regular customer he was in here just the other night talking to the assistant
manager for about 15 minutes so he's's not, this is not thinking.
This is,
I'm coked up,
fuck it, I'm doing it. I don't care.
And then he's thinking,
I'm going to take this money
and I'm going to get out of town.
That's his plan.
It won't matter if they know who I am
if I'm not here.
Yeah, but how many,
Jesus Christ,
what are you thinking?
That's unbelievable.
How much money are you going to get
from a 7-Eleven at midnight?
in my mind
that can get me there
because I'm a normal person.
No shit.
And I'm not on coke right now.
A lot of coke.
I'm not necessarily
a normal person, but.
No, but you're not on coke.
No.
I'll give you that.
So Nuna Hill again,
she says, quote,
he was sweating profusely.
It was popping off of him
and he was real jittery.
I'm picturing
like the sweat droplets
are like popcorn.
It sounds like
they're describing
Stanley Wilson
in the bathroom, doesn't it?
Sounds like it's
jittery, sweat popping off his face.
Describing somebody that is super coked out.
And she said he apparently knew the police would be coming any minute.
And she went on to talk about because he robbed the store next door where he knows the fucking girl.
And they all know her because it's right down the street from his house.
Like so close he wanted to work there.
He knew the cops were coming
or was he saying
they're coming?
Yeah, exactly.
Afterwards,
he starts wandering around again.
He's out there.
He doesn't know what to do.
He's like,
he doesn't have a car.
He doesn't know how to,
like, do anything here.
He wakes up a neighbor of his
because he's in the neighborhood,
wakes up a neighbor
and asks the neighbor
to call him a cab.
Imagine this guy's
knocking on your door.
You come down,
hey, Larry,
what's going on?
And he's like,
call me a cab.
It's midnight now. 1130, you robbed the 7 30 rob the 7-eleven sweat droplets popping in your face
they call a cab he leaves before it's even there he's like nah fuck it can't wait for it takes off
this is what he's doing i'm faster than a cab right now anyway and now the police are looking
for him they know he's where he is larry heads to a boarding Now, this is a crack shit den boarding house.
This is not good at all.
It's like a bad hostel.
It's bad, yeah.
And it's known as where you go if you want to get into trouble and you want to find some drugs and whatever.
He's going looking for it.
And he knows it well.
He does.
His childhood friend, it's his neighborhood,
never go home.
No.
Rule.
Crime and sports goddamn rule number like five.
Never move back to your hometown.
It never ends good.
Your home fucking town.
Jesus.
He's looking for his childhood friend, Tony McKnight,
because he was staying there.
Now, Tony was in jail on a drug charge and wasn't there.
He was gone for like the last week.
So they told him, hey, we don't know where Tony is.
Tony hasn't been around in a week.
So Larry doesn't know what to do.
He hangs around the place
for a little while,
wanders around to the side of the house,
and shoots himself in the right temple
with his.38.
Ends it right there.
He looked at his winnings
from the robbery.
He's like, I've got $13.
You've got $27 from one,
and what do you get from the other?
No, they didn't have a total.
I didn't get a total. He probably had $48 in his pocket. I suck, guys. I only had one. $13. You got $27 from one, and what did you get from the other? No, they didn't have a total. I didn't get a total.
See, I suck.
He probably had $48 in his pocket.
I suck, guys.
I only had one time.
$48.
Coke's wearing off.
$48 ain't getting you very high.
$38 to the right temple, and pulls the trigger.
Proudown's dead at 2.08 a.m.
McKnight's brother said that he thought Larry was looking for a familiar atmosphere.
Because that's a lot of times people do that.
Tony McKnight, the guy he was looking for, was just destroyed by this.
He said, quote,
If I'd been there, I could have taken the gun from him and sent him home.
To then go to jail.
But still, how much is he regretting this fucking four year suspended sentence right now?
I mean, honestly, that year in jail could have saved his fucking life.
Could have got him clean.
It could have done everything.
On his death here, J.A. Carey, who's a Newport News police chief,
said, this man who had so much going for him lost everything in his life.
I believe that Larry Bethea would be alive today
if he had been able to stay away from drugs.
Well, no shit, obviously.
I think everybody would be.
Tom Landry, ex-coach of the Cowboys, said,
it's hard to believe a player who is as congenial
and as happy as Larry seemed to be with the Cowboys
would end his life in this manner.
Harlan Holt, let's bring back. Yeah his life in this manner. Harlan Holt.
Let's bring back Harlan Holt.
Harlan Holt.
Nice to meet you.
I run the varsity over there at the high school over there at Ferguson High.
Sounds like a guy that says glad to know you when he meets you.
Glad to know you.
Glad to know you, partner.
He says, quote, his recent problems had to be drug-related.
I can't conceive of someone who had that much going for him
throwing away his life unless it was under the influence
of something that controlled his actions.
Yeah.
Obviously.
Here's the one.
I'm going to save this one.
One moment.
Hollywood Henderson on his death.
Let's get a Hollywood Henderson quote.
Quote,
My heart always goes out
to those afflicted by the disease
of alcoholism and drug addiction.
He shot himself in the head
after he robbed a store of people he knew.
And I understand where Larry had been. Oh boy. Could have been me basically head after he robbed a store of people he knew. And I understand
where Larry had been.
Oh boy.
Could have been me, basically.
We'll hear a lot about Larry,
about fucking Hollywood Henderson
coming up soon.
Now, let's get the final quote
here on it from Tex Schramm.
This is the one
that pisses me off.
Quote,
It's just a crime
to see this kind of thing
happening when you can
take steps to stop it.
If there were drugs in his life when he played for the Cowboys, we were unaware of it.
If we had been aware of it, we would have been able to do something.
Oh, Jesus.
You full of shit asshole.
How many quotes did I give you of him knowing that the FBI is investigating?
Two different probes into him.
Ten players.
They had an FBI agent on staff following them around the right after he's freebasing cocaine the whole season just give me a fucking heartfelt i'm i'm terribly
saddened that he's gone no he had to he had to fucking admonish guilt away whole situation piece
of shit text that's the ultimate silver-haired middle-aged white man asshole thing to say
exactly he used these people for what and i get it they're all adults and they're all whatever but you know what at some point you have to pick one or the other right
either you're going to take responsibility or you're not and if he said you know what that's
on him he was an adult he did it he can go fuck himself i'd have more respect absolutely but that
bullshit of if we knew if only we knew we could have helped you You enabling cocksucker. You fucking knew. Good news, on July 15, 2003, Tech
Schramm died in Texas. Yay! Fuck you
Tech Schramm. Rest in hell. Salute, cocksucker.
Dickhead. Now,
in 2006, Jared Bell,
first cousin here, writes a really
nice article in the USA Today
about Tony Dungy's son's suicide
and how
that compares to Larry's and how
that affected his life
and they're very similar situations.
Did Tony Dungy's son,
was he,
killed himself.
I knew that,
but was he addicted to something?
I don't know if he was addicted to something,
but it was suicide.
Yeah,
I was reading more about that.
I remember when Tony Dungy's son died
and it was like,
it was terrible.
Tony Dungy seems like a great,
he seems like a nice guy.
A sweetheart of an old man.
Doesn't seem like a football coach.
No.
Now September,
He's an ugly man too.
He is.
He's hard to look at. He is. He's hard to look at.
He is.
He looks like
you just need to go
and blow into him
and blow him off
about 5%.
Right.
5 PSI he might feel good.
He's like an air mattress
with a pinhole
at about 2 AM.
You're like,
it looks like an air...
It's not right.
A little wrinkly
in places it shouldn't be.
So September 30th, 2014.
Why does he look like a ball sack?
He looks like a ball sack, and his neck is so skinny.
Oh, man.
It's weird.
September 30th, 2014.
Frontline PBS had a report on CTE.
There's no cancer in that man?
No, no.
Go on.
Unfortunately.
Not unfortunately for Dungy.
I was doing it on the CTE.
Fortunately for Dungy, because I like him.
I don't want him to have cancer.
But he looks like he's had some bouts of chemo.
He looks like Pagano five years ago.
He does, but worse.
And that's funny, because he replaced him, which is funny.
So they do a report on CTE brain injuries,
and they have NFL players that have committed suicide,
and 76 of the 79 brains of these people tested positive for CTE.
They were damaged for that.
Their total amount of brains, we're going to bring him up in a second,
their total amount of brains, they had 101 out of 128 had CTE,
and that's including college and high school, too.
The other ones were just the NFL. But college and high school, too. The other ones were just the NFL.
But college and high school, it's still an 80% of those people that killed themselves
because they were fucked up in the head, so they killed themselves.
Dr. Anne McKee, director of the Brain Bank, said,
obviously, there is a high percentage of living people that are not suffering from CTE,
but playing football, and the higher the level you play football,
and the longer you play football, the higher the level you play football and the longer you play football the higher your risk obviously uh this is like goes for like dewerson and junior seau who had the brain
injuries and they actually shot themselves in the chest so their brains could be studying and that
was the thing fucking crazy and larry bethea we didn't get that that's how much pain they were in
that they shot themselves in the chest to make sure you can study this.
To study my brain.
I can't do this any longer.
I'm going to shoot myself in the chest.
How fucking painful.
I know my brain is messed up.
I need you to look at this shit.
That's weird because when people have Alzheimer's,
because it's kind of an Alzheimer's syndrome,
but when they have Alzheimer's,
they don't really know they have Alzheimer's.
These guys fucking know it.
They know it.
Exactly.
They don't know.
They're just in this other world. So sad but hilarious. These guys fucking know it. They know it. Exactly. They don't know. They're just in this other world. So sad but
hilarious. These guys are like, fucking
a month ago I could remember this.
What's going on? Alzheimer's is terrible.
And if anybody out there knows anybody suffering from it, I apologize.
Jesus, hard out to you, man.
It makes you forget to breathe.
That's how you die. That's fucking
crazy. Now, the
average payouts for these players,
families who had the CTt and all it's about
four million bucks and all the lawyers are even saying like that's not for that that's not for
the players that's for the families who lived with the players who turn into very they turn
abusive because they have no impulse control nothing they're not compared to what the nfl is
pulling in on these guys no this silver-haired middle-aged football league and not to what they
suffer so i can take care of these people i mean that, that's Larry Bethea in a sad, sad goddamn nutshell.
I mean, Jesus Christ, guys.
How sad is that?
Terrible.
So, I mean, if you love stories like that,
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Two kids, and I'm divorced.
I don't have this money.
I'm a goddamn comedian, and you have two kids.
I've got two kids and a wife, and she's a stay-at-home.
Yeah.
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If you want to throw us a few bucks,
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Please find us everywhere.
Email us at CrimeandSports at gmail.com.
And you can be one of these fine people that Jimmy's going to discuss right now.
Sir.
Marius Johnson is key.
Sir.
Mr. Marius Johnson.
I actually knew that too and I totally fucked up
and said her
we know you're a dude
we know you don't have a vagina
I had to listen back
to go did I say her
and I'm like shit I did
and you don't have to
donate your kidney for us
but we appreciate your offer
thank you so much Marius
and Elder Hennington
sorry for ruining your childhood
yes I'm going to email you back also
because I want to ask you some
80's Dallas wrestling questions
because I watched that shit when I was a kid.
Nicole Gross donated to us as well.
Thank you, Nicole Gross.
She's a very nice lady.
We appreciate it so much.
Matt Kirby, Professor P.
Jake at WillWJam, I guess, is on Twitter.
Thanks, dude.
Kerrigan, at KerriganBro.
Oh, yeah, I like that guy.
Victor from Iceland.
We realize that you are the one that wet the bed, you son of a bitch.
Ireland, not Iceland. Did I say Iceland?
You said Iceland. We fucked up the guy, now we're
fucking up the country. We're going to ruin every chance we can
to make this personal for you, Victor.
You're the bed pisser, god damn it.
You son of a bitch. Jack Cahill said you did it.
You did it. Polly
two times. Jessica Purdy
for always retweeting. Thank you, dear.
Erica Hogan. Nathan
Bland. Jason Fuller,
Mark Busby,
Jay Bird-Wedbetter,
Jay Welsey,
Monge,
Sanja,
and Monge,
and then Martin.
The good reverend.
The good reverend.
He kept his beard,
I believe.
Love him, man.
Keep the beard.
It looks cool on you.
Ten Can Dan,
Nia Rong,
Neville Harvey,
Martin Wirecutt,
Wirenut,
at Wirenut.
Wirecunt, I said. Wirecunt. Yeah, that's his Twitter handle. That's it. I'm at Wirekunt. I love me a wrong, too. Wirekunt. Wirekunt. At Wirekunt. Wirekunt, I said.
Wirekunt.
Yeah, that's his Twitter handle.
That's it.
I'm at Wirekunt.
And Mark Burns.
You guys, this week was so busy between Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.
Thank you guys so much for sticking around.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for being a part of this.
We're having a great time.
And next week is going to be so much fun.
Amazing. First week in the new studio. We have week is going to be so much fun.
First week in the new studio.
We have so many big business announcements coming up.
Guys, you heard me bitch and complain.
You heard me go on rants.
It paid off.
It paid off, actually.
Yeah, it paid off.
A network wants us.
And we will give ourselves to them. A deal we can live with and love and be happy about.
And they want to help us lay some fucking tile, basically.
Like I said, man.
They got a tack hammer.
They're putting up drywall, guys.
Do you know why?
Because the guy in charge knows how to do that shit.
They know how to do the smoothing shit with the drywall in between the seams.
They can do that.
They're good at mudding.
They're good at mudding.
Exactly.
They get the flat thing and they work it out.
I'm telling you.
Because the guy in charge is a carpentry expert.
The guy can build a fucking house.
And we're going to build one with him.
So thank you so much guys for listening
and for being a part of this and for helping
us out so much to get to there.
If you want to follow us on social media,
Jimmy, you want to give them yours?
I am at WismanSucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N
Sucks on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat.
And stick around. This is so much fun. Definitely. I am at Jimmy, Instagram, and Snapchat. And stick around.
This is so much fun.
Definitely.
I'm at Jimmy P is funny.
You can find me around Petra Gallo.
Good luck spelling it.
Look me up.
Friend me and call me a cunt.
All right, guys.
Thank you so much from the last time in this particular location.
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The only thing you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that. Bing!
The queen of the courtroom is back.
I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth
if it came up and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
Okay, so, um...
Matt, this is not a so.
This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
The Emmy Award-winning series returns.
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