Crime in Sports - #51 - Murder Ruins A Garden Party - The Passionateness of Marc Cecillon
Episode Date: January 17, 2017This week, we look at a man who was a hero to his country, but devolved into a sad tale of alcohol, rage, depression, and finally violence. He seemed like a happy, party guy, who rode his Har...ley through the French Alps, but his demons couldn't be held down, finally culminating in a most violent, and even more public act. This story is a crazy ride, that will leave you wondering just how some people in his home country can still worship this guy. Come for the crime, stay for the boys mispronouncing at least a dozen French cities! Jump on a motorcycle, drink yourself into incoherency, and commit a public act of violence with Marc Cecillon!! Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman New episodes every Tuesday!!Please subscribe, rate, and review!Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts!Head to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things Crime in Sports!For merchandise: crimeinsports.threadless.comCheck out James and Jimmie's other show: Small Town Murder Follow us on social media!Facebook: facebook.com/crimeinsportsInstagram: instagram.com/smalltownmurderTwitter: twitter.com/MurderSmall Contact the show: crimeinsports@gmail.comDonate on Patreon: patreon.com/crimeinsportsPayPal: paypal.me/crimeinsports See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome back to Crime and Sports.
Yay!
Oh, yay.
I'm so excited.
I am so excited. My name is James Petrigallo. I, yay. I'm so excited. I am so excited.
My name is James Petrigallo.
I'm here with my co-host.
I am Jimmy Wissman.
Thank you so much for joining us.
Sick again.
Again, I sound like shit.
Apologies.
You sound much better than last week.
I feel better, but I can't get the sound to be, it's just stuck in my head.
I have so much stuff stuck in there and it's horrible.
You sound good though, James.
It's all right.
I'm excited.
You look great.
I feel fantastic, Jimmy.
I feel great to be here today recording this with you guys.
Before we get started on this, just want to give you guys just a quick reminder.
Please subscribe to our other brand new podcast, Small Town Murder, available on iTunes, Audio
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Check it out.
It's really, really fun.
If you like true crime, it's true crime.
Yeah.
Check it out.
It's really, really fun.
If you like true crime, it's true crime.
I love it.
We look at a small town and see what makes it tick and tell you about a horrible murder that happened there.
And we do the same thing we do here except with less sports.
Actually, no sports. The first one is so good.
It's so deep.
There's so much.
It's a really, really crazy story.
If you're listening across the pond, if you're listening here or wherever, it's in Mississippi.
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Thank you guys so much for everything.
Hope you enjoyed last week.
James Waithe, waithing it out in jail.
Oh, man, that was a trip.
That episode is so vile.
I'm still hung up on him jamming a leukemia patient's hand in a toaster.
He had leukemia, this guy. I'm still jammed up on jamming a leukemia patient's hand in a toaster. He had leukemia, this guy.
I'm still jammed up on that.
I can't take it.
They tortured a leukemia patient.
That's the moral compass we're dealing with with this man.
Literally tortured a leukemia patient, among plenty of other people for drug deaths and everything else.
An Olympian gone bad.
It was a real, real trip, that episode.
It was a lot of fun.
I enjoyed it a lot, doing that episode.
I liked it.
Listen, it sounds sick.
It sounds fucked up, but I love doing this.
Oh, I love it.
It's the best.
I wanted to keep fucking up.
Granted, I don't want anybody to get hurt.
No, no.
Yeah, sell some cocaine, do something stupid.
I don't know, whatever.
But yeah, try not to kill people, guys.
But if you do, we'll be there.
Oh, we'll talk about it.
We're going to talk about it.
We're going to make jokes about you for it. we have a guy tonight oh boy talk about and we're
gonna stay across the pond oh we were in the uk last week and this week we're gonna move over to
france oh you're welcome uk i was just gonna say this is a reward for the uk because the uk
you know we obviously when we talk about anywhere we insult them and it's all in good fun but we
talk about their boiled meat and their lack of calcium and their town sounding like they make candy and all that sort of thing.
We're going to make fun of the French this week for you guys.
White flag waving sons of bitches.
And in the U.S., great for us, too.
We make fun of the French just as much.
So it's perfect.
It's really, really perfect.
We're digging into.
Thanks for that big statue, but fuck the French.
We appreciate it.
I actually have a reference to the statue in here.
I do.
I'm telling you guys.
There's a statue of liberty tie-in.
It's insane.
Also, too, not only are we dipping into France, which is a country we've never set foot in
in this podcast, but we're also dipping into a sport that we've never set foot in in this
podcast.
We're dipping into rugby.
Oh, Jesus.
So basically this week, what I did-
We're going to sound like such dipshits.
Oh, I know nothing.
And I studied all week.
I looked at videos.
I have descriptions that I read.
I studied it like if you've ever seen the movie Blast from the Past where they have
Brendan Fraser's in a bomb shelter for 40 years.
That's when they tried to teach him baseball through a book.
That's what I'm doing.
Like, okay, the scrum.
And then they get me.
A Brendanzier movie reference
you've all seen but i'll watch blast from the past right now i will stop this recording i'll
sit down and i'll watch blast from the past okay don't don't mess with me
don't tempt james with encino man i will do no i don't see no man i'm not a brendan frazier fan
his parents are christopher walken and sissy Spacek in that movie. Come on. For your birthday,
I'm going to get you the whole Mummy trilogy.
It's all yours. I actually,
I think I don't like any other Brendan
Treasure movies except for that one.
It might be Alicia Silverstone.
My teenage
crush on her might have done it, I think,
possibly. Who knows? Because I like Clueless also,
so that tells you a lot. She was the one that got finger-blasted
on the rollercoaster, right? My God, I have no idea. also, so that tells you a lot. She was the one that got finger blasted on the roller coaster, right?
My God, I have no idea.
I don't know.
I hope not.
But Mark Wahlberg, she was in fear, right?
Was it her? Was she?
I don't remember.
I hope it was.
I'll Google the shit out of it.
I don't care.
I hope not.
For her sake, let's hope not.
Let's hope she didn't get whatever diddled up on a roller coaster by Mark Wahlberg.
While it was rolling, while it was going, the girl was getting fingered.
It's great.
Let's get into tonight's man of the hour, we'll say.
Tonight's man of the hour.
By the way, I am going to butcher every name, every person.
I do not speak French.
I'm going to tell you that right now.
And every name, city, state, town, person, all French is shit.
So, sorry. It was Reese Witherspoon and her big ass chin. There you go., person, all French is shit. So, sorry.
It was Reese Witherspoon and her big ass chin.
Okay, there you go.
She's blonde, same thing.
Whatever.
But please, bear with me with the pronunciations because if you send me things, oh, it's actually
pronounced, I don't give a shit.
I don't care.
I don't care.
We got tweets a while back from people, and I appreciate the tweets, but we got people
like, hey, actually, Bexar County in Texas is pronounced bear.
I don't give a fuck what you pronounce it.
And that's Texas.
That's America.
So think about how much we give a fuck about France.
If your county place town is not well known enough for me to have heard it pronounced, I don't give a shit how it's pronounced.
And you put E-A-U together.
Yes.
And X's and I's and E's.
No.
Yeah. France, we're going to fuck it up. We are going to fuck it up's and I's and E's. No, yeah.
France, we're going to fuck it up.
We are going to fuck it up, and let's do it tonight.
It's Mark.
Let's fuck his name up right now.
Mark Cessillon.
Cessillon.
Cessillon.
He just stuttered.
Mark Cessillon.
All right.
Because it doesn't look right.
It looks like it should be Cessillion, but it's not.
It's Cessillon.
Is there L's in it?
It is.
I'll spell it for you.
It's C-E with an accent over the E.
C-I-L-L-O-N.
So I think it's Cécyon.
I've seen tons of rugby where they're saying it, and I believe that's what they're yelling in a foreign language.
Because I can't understand them, but it's okay.
He's born in...
Here we go.
Bourgeon.
Bourgeon Gelou.
I enjoy when you stutter it bourgeon
each syllable
it gets like done three times
wow
I'm trying my best here
in
is there
is there
is there
I don't know
I don't know how
I'm looking for
is there
I don't know
in eastern France
it's in the Alps
near Grenoble
where Andre the Giant's from
so that's right
anytime you mention France how closeble where Andre the Giant's from. So that's right. Anytime you mention
France, how close to
where Andre the Giant's from.
Come on here. Which is funny.
He's born July 30th, 1959
which means he would have been around
to see Andre the Giant
doing shit. He was like
the big crazy freak guy in Grenoble
in this time period in like the early
70s. He was around 70s. That's crazy.
He was around for that.
It's insane.
He could have gone to some freak show and seen him.
He did.
He probably knew Andre the Giant.
In a leopard fucking leotard.
Yes.
What's it called when it's got it over one shoulder?
A singlet with the one shoulder.
Yeah.
One of those wrestling outfits.
That's what Andre wore.
Yeah.
You feel like a caveman.
Yeah.
It is actually Izary.
Izary?
Izary. Izari? Izari.
Izari.
Where he's from.
Was the name of the ship that carried the 214 boxes containing the Statue of Liberty over to the U.S.
Oh, that's awesome.
So there you go.
It's named after that town.
There is the town.
He grows up to be a big guy.
He'll get into his childhood.
But when he's an adult, he's 6'3", 237.
My God.
That's his playing size, which is a big Frenchman
and a big guy for rugby, too.
He's known as a big ox here.
He is known in rugby as the quiet man.
So that is it.
And his crime is anything but quiet.
So it's really ironic.
It's kind of like how James Waithe judo is called the gentle way while he's sticking
leukemia patients' hands in toasters.
So it's so gentle.
It's very, very gentle.
Early on, both his father and his grandfather were rugby players.
So this is a rugby family.
And apparently his father and grandfather were well-respected because of the rugby playing.
So I think as a kid that would settle into you as like I need to play rugby also.
That's France's equivalent of being named junior.
It's the same thing, yeah.
Just playing rugby.
Yeah, yeah.
In this region, region two, the Bourgogne, Geloux region, whatever, they have their own rugby team.
It's very rugby-centric.
Really?
This is a rugby area.
They're super into rugby.
They're tired of being thought of as pussies worldwide.
Yeah, absolutely.
They're like, no, not us, goddammit.
We play a shitload of rugby.
You Nazis want to come in,
we'll give you a lopsided ball and tackle you.
I don't give a shit.
Bring it.
Bring it.
We're not going to shoot at you,
but we will tackle you.
With some confusing-ass rules.
Best of luck.
Oh, I'm going to get into the rules of this
because I tried to figure them out,
and guess what?
You guys are going to try to figure them out with us
and see if they make any more sense to you
than they do to us.
And we apologize.
Even UK and Australia have a lot of listeners there.
Ireland, they have rugby.
You guys know, so laugh at us because we fucking don't.
But trust me, I tried.
I really did.
I didn't just say, I played rugby and moved on.
I gave it hours.
I tried my ass off.
It's really hard to explain.
Patreon.com backslash crime and sports.
Patreon.com backslash crime and sports. Yeah, Patreon.com backslash crime and sports.
Please, good God.
Get me some health insurance so I can not be sick.
Because if I die, this is not going to go on anymore.
I can't do this, you guys.
Yeah, if I drop dead, there will be no crime in anything coming from us.
Anyway, he begins playing at age eight.
He begins playing rugby so early.
I guess that's early for rugby.
I guess it's probably the same as football.
You start playing about eight, nine in Pop Warner or whatever.
I don't know what your version of Pop Warner is over there, but they don't have helmets on,
so that's an issue when you have a bunch of little kids ramming into each other.
Imagine the brain damage over there.
I know.
It's got to be in this sport.
It's wild.
And I feel like that's part of his issue, too, later on.
Has to be.
The deterioration.
It's wild.
Okay, anyway.
He leaves school at age 14.
Okay.
So is the school not that important?
Rugby, very important.
Super important.
I don't know exactly in the Alps in France how important education was in the early 70s either.
I'm not sure.
It might have been important, but I'm not positive here.
I wouldn't have the first fucking guess.
Seems like if you're good at rugby, that's the most important thing.
Fuck school.
Fuck school.
He becomes an apprentice for a cake maker at a young age here after he drops out of school at 14.
And this cake maker was apparently a big-
It's a very French thing to do.
You're an apprentice cake maker while you play rugby on the side in the Alps.
And you're six foot three.
With Andre the Giant running around.
Yeah, it was probably him and Andre were the two biggest guys around, so they probably hung out.
The cake maker is a big rugby enthusiast and also, I'm sure, had a floppy hat and a really, really eccentric accent.
He's like John Cleese playing a Frenchman, I'm sure, just very over the top.
He's like a Monty Python. I thought it was a Frenchman, I'm sure. Just very over the top. He's like a Monty Python.
I fought in a general direction.
I picture that is what this cake maker was.
I'm picturing Steve Martin as the Pink Panther like that.
Oh, that's good, too.
Like, oh, well, well.
Yeah, yeah.
That could work, too.
Super, super French.
Awful.
So he's a big rugby enthusiast, and he lets Mark have time off whenever he needs to practice.
So he found the perfect little apprenticeship because he doesn't have to stop playing rugby or even slow down on his rugby playing.
He makes his first, I guess they call it club play.
There's club play and there's national play.
Club play is like leagues, and I figure that's like professional and you get paid.
And that's like people come and watch and they buy tickets.
And then there's international play.
You're playing the big shit for your country.
That's, you know, you're playing for France.
You're wearing the French flag, that white flag.
Yeah, that white flag waving around.
The white flag worn on someone's back as they run.
Oh, the white flag worn on someone's back as they run.
So he makes his first appearance in club play for Bourguin.
Bourguin.
Bourguin.
I don't know what it is.
It's terrible.
It's not good.
That's not how you pronounce this.
It's B-U-R-G-O-I-N is how it's spelled.
Bourguin.
Bourguin.
Bourguin.
I don't know.
Makes his first appearance for them at 17. I'm just picturing Steve Martin do it.
That's all I can do.
Like I said, I'm picturing the guy on the top of the castle at Monty Python flinging farm animals at them from a catapult.
So I'm not much better here with the French.
His first appearance at 17, you said?
17 years old in 1976 in club play.
So he's good, obviously.
And I think this is how they had different levels.
And it's like soccer.
They get you early and they bring you into like the minors and you kind of go through.
I think it's like that sort of thing.
It seems like very similar to soccer in terms of a system.
In the late 70s, he marries his he marries a Chantal is her name.
Chantal.
Chantal.
She is 17 years old at the time.
And I believe he's only like 18 or 19.
Yeah.
They met young.
Old enough to have hairy armpits.
Probably.
She's a French girl in the mountains.
I'm sure she is.
She eventually becomes a medical secretary during the marriage, so she stays kind of doing her own thing also.
1980, couples together.
They're doing well.
He's playing club rugby, which I guess is probably hot shit if you're in France in the mountains out there.
That's where you want to be, I think.
I think you're respected.
He never wants to leave his home either.
Remember the rules of don't ever go back to your hometown?
He just never leaves.
He literally just doesn't leave his hometown.
He stays there.
He plays rugby.
He's the local hero.
Everybody knows him.
He is God in this area.
I can't express to you enough how much he was God in this area.
We'll get into exactly how much that was to where he could do literally anything, literally
the worst thing possible, and people still defended him.
And we'll see here.
1980, they have a daughter, Angelique.
She's born, which is nice.
That seems happy.
The French name as well.
Angelique.
Yeah.
Angelique in Chantel from Bourgeois.
God, this is going to kill me now.
Anybody in France, we really apologize.
Sorry, but I don't fucking know, honestly.
We don't care.
If you leave us a bad review, it'll just go on our French iTunes anyway,
and we don't really give a shit about that, so don't worry about it.
Say whatever you want.
Fuck you.
How's that?
Okay.
1982, Celine is born, another daughter.
Oh, no.
So he's got Celine and Angelique.
He's got all these women in the house now.
Tons of women.
It's going to be bad.
It's going to be bad for him.
Well, he's going to be bad for them, we'll say.
Now he begins international play in 88.
Wow.
In 88, he's his first cap, okay?
Okay.
Okay.
Now, it says, it started out by looking at it, and the first thing they say about him,
he was capped a total of 46 times for France.
No idea what that means.
Captain?
No.
That's what I thought.
First, I'm like capped as in like a pop a cap in his ass was the first thing I thought of.
He got shot 47 times.
Yeah, I'm like, damn.
He's taking some bullets for his country.
He's a bad man.
50 Cent would be scared of him.
Yeah, then I thought maybe it's captain.
Maybe he's captaining his team 46 times.
But no, that just means that you were on the team for international play.
You played a game, basically.
It means you were capped.
That's your capped.
So he was capped 46 times from 1988 to 1995.
So lots of international play for France.
In 46 matches, he had 43 starts.
Let's go over these points that I have no idea what they mean.
46 matches, 43 starts, three subs.
So I assume that's substitutes because he had 43 starts.
Okay.
38 points and nine tries.
Okay.
I don't know what that means.
Sounds good to me.
Is that good?
Tell us if that's good because I have no idea.
He was 6'3", 230 pounds. 38 points, nine tries? what that means. Sounds good to me. Is that good? Tell us if that's good, because I have no idea.
He was 6'3", 230 pounds.
38.9 tries? That's all I can fucking gather.
Seems like you have more than nine tries in 46 games, no?
Tries?
What's a try?
And he's got points, so he tried more than that.
Yeah, he was trying, I think, but 38.
You get credit for giving an effort?
Yeah.
It's less than one point a game.
I don't know if that's good or not.
I have no idea.
I looked at other people's stats to try to compare.
None of it makes sense.
So I really looked into this so hard.
I tried so hard.
I have no idea what I'm doing with this.
He was captain of his team five times.
Oh.
So they liked him that way.
He was really, really well respected.
And November 5th, 1988 is when he scores his first international points for France.
I believe it's his fourth game as a capped person.
He has four points and one try in a win against Argentina.
Okay.
So I don't know if you get a certain amount.
I don't know if a try gets you points.
In the first game he got four points?
That was his fourth game.
He got four points in the game. Yeah, but I don't know if a try gets you points. In the first game, he got four points? That was his fourth game. He got four points in the game?
Yeah, but I don't know if that's like a field goal is worth three points,
so you get three, or if it's like you get one point and it's like a goal.
I don't know what it is.
I have no clue.
That's what I mean.
I really, really tried to find out, and good Christ,
I had to spend more time on the murder.
I was to a point where I'm like, you know,
he's got crime I've got to get into here.
I can't look at rugby all day and night.
I can't be learning a whole new sport.
He played flanker for the first dozen or so games.
Okay.
And then moved to number eight.
Oh.
For a game against Scotland.
That sounds big.
January 19th, 1991.
That is his first game in the number eight position.
I'm like, he wore number eight.
So what?
That's not how it works.
And I had to look it up, and I really tried here.
I'll explain it to you guys right now.
This was in his first game against Scotland.
He was moved to number eight in 91.
I assume that was a big game.
Any of the English empire is probably big for France.
Now, rugby positions.
This is what I got when I looked it up, okay?
I'm going to give you guys, you come on this journey with us and with me sitting there at 3 o'clock in the morning trying to figure this out.
Glazed over.
Glazed over like, huh?
What the fuck?
I literally said, what the fuck?
Like 400 times.
What?
Am I reading this right?
That's why I said I'm writing this word for word and I'll see if anybody else understands this shit.
Okay.
This is what it says.
This is about rugby positions because I'm like, I've got to find out what a number eight is as compared to a flanker.
You know what I mean?
Obviously.
So it says, here we go.
Quote, the props, one and three, bind on either side of the hooker, these two, to form the front row of the scrum, okay, which sounds like a ball sack.
Yeah.
It sounds like ball skin.
The two locks, four and five, bind together and push on the props and the hooker.
The flankers, six and seven, bind to the side of the scrum,
and the number eight pushes on the locks or a lock and a flanker.
Once a team has formed its half of the scrum and the number eight pushes on the locks or a lock and a flanker. Once a team has formed its half of the scrum, the two front rows are brought together under
the command of the referee.
What?
The scrum half, which is a hyphenated word, the scrum half pats the ball, pats the ball
into the middle of the scrum and then retrieves it from under the number eight's feet if it's
one.
of the scrum and then retrieves it from under number eight's feet if it's one.
The remainder of the team must be positioned at least five meters back from the scrum.
So number eight is the main guy.
So he's a number eight.
I got it.
What the fuck?
Does that make any sense to you at all, Jimmy?
Does any of that?
So we have to, let's get back here.
We have to, the two locks bind together and push on the props in the hooker.
Yeah.
Whoa.
There's hookers and scrotum in there.
That's all I gathered.
And a flanker, which sounds like a – wow, I don't even know what to make of this. It sounds like there's like a kickoff and then everybody kind of forms like a big bind to travel that ball down the field.
Well, no.
What they do is they stop.
And if you guys could see James' face as he's trying to explain this shit.
It's insane.
Okay, what it looks like is I watched this to figure out what this was.
His eyes are so big right now.
I, like, kept rewinding it, and I watched it.
It's kind of like when they drop the puck in hockey.
Like, they're going to do a little reset or, like, a tip-off in basketball or something like that.
I don't know what they would do in soccer.
I have no clue.
There's a kickoff.
There's a kickoff.
But this is, like, you know, whatever.
They all gather in the middle of the field, okay?
The guys on either team form rows and they lock arms with each other.
But not like locking arms like around each other's like shoulders.
Like you're putting your arm around somebody and they're all like that.
And the guys in the back lock their arms with the other guys in front of them and put their
heads down.
Jesus.
So everybody's like laying flat in this weird like human lattice position basically.
You don't know what lattice is.
It's what white trash puts around their garden.
And then vines grow on the shit and they think it's beautiful.
It's like human lattice.
And then the other team like also intertwines themselves on the other side.
The two teams form but the two front lines, like, hook together.
Like, it's the – and then they all move back and forth like this weird human lattice blanket,
and then a ball pops out and somebody takes it and runs.
It's the weirdest goddamn shit I've ever seen in my life.
And then everyone tries to tackle and no one has a fucking helmet on.
It's insane.
I had no idea what happened, but it's interesting.'s, it's interesting. And I'd see a couple
of times it would pop out and Mark would have the ball and he'd run in that. I'd be like, Oh,
there he is. Okay. And he was just, hello. And I'm like, okay, I think that's our guy.
That's the one he's big. So anyway, uh, he, he's, he's a party guy. Okay. He is a party guy. He's
a very popular guy and he loves to drink. All drink. Loves to drink, loves the ladies,
loves to carouse. He likes
to go out after the game with the
guys, find some girls and do his
thing. To the point where in
1989, a 17-year-old
girl comes forward and claims to
be having Mark's baby.
He's, like I said, notorious for this.
This is a thing. And he's married and
has two children. Oh, he's been married for 10 years.
He has two kids at home.
This is fine.
And he's just out banging 17-year-olds.
Oh, and this is like a national story here coming out and saying he's a huge national hero.
And especially in this town, he's unprecedented because he's popular everywhere because he's on the main-
He's on the international team.
He's on the international team and he's hot shit on the international.
He's a number eight, goddammit. That's no shit right there. He's not a hooker or a prop or a flanker. He's a the main. He's on the international team. He's on the international team, and he's hot shit on the international. He's a number eight, goddammit.
That's no shit right there.
He's not a hooker or a prop or a flanker.
He's a number eight.
He's not messing around.
He's the main player in the scrum.
He's getting in the scrum and making the lattice.
I'm telling you guys, it's nothing.
So, I mean, on his play, we have a quote from another former player here
whose name is Serge Blanco.
He's the only guy whose name I'll be able to pronounce the entire episode.
Because he sounds South American.
He is.
He's actually from South America.
He was born there.
He's a former player and former president of the Bayeritz Olympique team who were French champs in 02 and 06.
It's a club team.
He also owns three hotels and a sportswear brand.
He is balling.
That's how you retire from sports.
Everyone who we cover, if any of you people actually listen, the crazy people that we cover, that's how you retire.
That's it right there.
You don't go out and sell cocaine and put a record studio in your house.
You open apparel stores and be a baller.
Don't give a million dollars to terrible independent movies like J.R. Ryder.
Don't do shit like that.
Don't go buying diamonds to stare at.
Diamonds to look at.
That was good, yeah.
That was his drug dealer, but even still.
Still.
He was part of the fucking plan.
He's part of the problem, God damn it.
That's the thing here.
That is how you retire.
He said of Mark, quote, he was a strong player who was generous in the field.
In all of his career, he never had a booking, he never played dirty, and he was never given
a punishment like the others.
Okay.
He was known as like the most-
Gentleman.
He's known as a gentleman.
He's known as like an honest, it's funny because on the field he is, or on whatever you call
that.
It's a pitch with soccer.
I don't know what the hell it is with this. On the scrum, he's called, in the scrum,
when he's in between the folds of ball skin,
he really, really, you know, he's a nice guy.
People love him.
They want to, you know, he's a generous player, he says,
even all that sort of thing.
So interesting.
I don't know.
I wish off the field he was not such a mess.
Half that man.
Not such an alcoholic.
The funny thing is.
Well, she wasn't banging 17-year-olds behind his back.
That would help, too.
That's pretty scummy.
It is France, though.
I think that it's a little different in France.
I think you're in the, if you're in the 80s and you're famous, I really think you're allowed
to bang people in France.
I think that's okay in 17-year-olds.
I think law-wise, I think that's fine.
I think back then, too, and it kind of is now, too, that France is kind of known as being like a sexually exploitive country.
It's just free love.
It's sexually open.
Everybody's naked, everybody's hairy, and everybody's fucking.
Everybody's naked and hairy.
That's a ringing endorsement.
Come to France.
Everybody's naked, but everybody's hairy.
That's an Air France commercial. Air France. We'll take you to naked, but everybody's hairy. That's an Air France commercial.
Air France.
We'll take you to naked hairy people.
Come on board.
It's like a pro and a con at the same time.
They're naked, but they're hairy.
I don't know.
But they're naked.
But they are naked.
But that means I can see all the hair also.
So that's a problem.
I don't know about that, if that's going to work out for me.
I love it.
Now, something happens here in 1991 and apparently this is a huge deal in england so i'm gonna there's
a nod to the english for this one here it is in the 1991 world cup quarterfinal france versus
england so imagine the tensions of rugby yes of rugby not not soccer or not football. Football. So there is a big lattice of guys.
They're doing the scrum thing, I guess.
It's so weird.
It looks like both teams are getting together, doing like a weird celebration,
and they're all going to pop up and be like, ah, at the end.
They look like soccer hooligans.
It's so fucking weird.
It looks so coordinated where I'm like, and I have no, all their heads are down.
I have no idea what's going on under there.
They're all looking at the scrum.
I think kicking the ball.
I love too, it's like, well, this one, the rules, it said if they win, then the number eight gets it.
And it's like, well, how do you know if you won?
I can't even see under there.
There's no ref like laying down, looking under, trying to see shit.
So I don't know what the hell happened here.
But anyway, there's a big lattice of guys and the ball pops out the back of france's lattice like right out of their collective
asshole basically the ball pops out mark gets the ball i recognize him and i hear sissalon
i'm like okay that's our guy there he is and he runs and uh and that's my criminal that's my guy
that's the criminal right there so so sad and i'm like i know him that's why i think i said the
thing before about yeah who's somebody's mugshot who's your favorite old wrestler i'm like chris
adams i am crotaro jimmy superfly snooker those guys those are my favorites scumbags that i know
everything about ones that i make fun of yeah that could kill me in two seconds so he gets the ball
and run and runs and england England's Mick Skinner hits him.
This is known throughout England as just the tackle.
So it's got a nickname like Joe Montana's the catch.
I mean, it's that sort of thing.
And there's articles about it.
It's happened in 91.
There's articles from the last few years like remembering the tackle.
Wow.
It's like a huge source of national pride, this tackle.
And Mick Skinner is the one that delivered the tackle. Remembering the tackle, it's like a huge source of national pride, this tackle. And Mick Skinner is the one
that delivered the tackle. He's the one who delivers the
tackle on Mark because Mark's
a big guy and Skinner's not as big as him.
Now, the tackle, that's such a
huge deal. And they're all like, the
best, oh my god, it was
unbelievable. He basically
stops him from going
forward and kind of holds on to him
and drives him back. It wouldn't have made an NFL highlight reel.
It's not the Christian Okoyo
Steve Atwater hit.
The NFL,
literally every play, there's five harder hits
than that on the field.
I get that you're not having pads
or helmets on, but that really wasn't
that great of a tackle. It might have been a big
deal that they stopped him, but they make
it sound like he killed him.
It's the biggest thing ever.
He stopped him and drove him backwards, and it was impressive, but he didn't, like, pop him,
and the ball came out, and he went flying one way, and his shoe came off.
Like, none of that happened.
It was just a tackle.
Look who stopped him.
That Okoye shot is still one of my favorite things ever.
That's a good one.
That is great.
I wish it was like that, because I'd be watching that on YouTube. And it wasn't. It really wasn't. It wasn't that impressive. That's a good one. That is great. I wish it was like that because I'd be watching that on YouTube.
And it wasn't.
It really wasn't.
It wasn't that impressive.
It's a waste of time.
And the funny part is, too,
I didn't know where he was going with the ball.
So when he tackled him, I'm like, maybe that's good.
Maybe he needs to go that way now.
I have no goddamn idea because I don't know what he's doing.
The ball didn't come out, though?
Not when he tackled him.
He held on to it.
I don't know how because it's huge, dude.
That ball is enormous.
Yeah, they're gigantic. When you watch people carry them, too, they look like they're uncomfortable. A he held on to it. I don't know how because it's huge. That ball is enormous. Yeah, they're gigantic.
When you watch people carry them, too, they look like they're uncomfortable.
A football looks comfortable to carry.
It fits in your forearm and you put it in your hand.
You tuck it into your rib cage.
They just hold it like they've got a kid in a headlock and they start running.
It's like a pony keg that they're carrying down the fucking field.
I've got my 12-pack and I'm running.
Unreal.
So March 21, 1992 versus Ireland, Mark is named captain for the first time.
So it took him four years to become a captain, which I guess that's good.
I don't fucking know what happens in rugby, but they like him and they want him to be
captain for the game.
And this is, I guess they named different captains for each game.
You're not just captain of the team.
Oh, really?
Yes, it's for each game because he was captain five times total in his career out of 46.
So he says initially that he felt uncomfortable in the role of captain.
I don't know why.
I don't know what added responsibility the captain has in rugby because I don't even know how you score.
So what a captain does is well beyond my form of recognition here.
Now, June 17th, 1995, he plays his last international game versus south africa
at durban um he has no stats and the team lost so i don't know that's his last that's his last
international game congrats i don't know no more no more human lattice for you buddy
he continues to play in club play though okay uh He's been with the Bourgeois, whatever the hell, Bourgeois.
He's been with them since 1976.
Wow.
And he is on them all the way until 1999.
Wow.
So, yeah, that's a long time.
23 years.
23 years on the same.
That's his local team.
Of getting your ass kicked constantly.
That's what I mean, too.
And constantly, how many shots to the head has this guy taken?
And he also, too, this is weird because there's a lot of news about him turning down offers.
I guess he turned down a lot of offers to play in Australia, to play in New Zealand, to play in other countries because he didn't want to leave home.
Wow.
He liked his home area.
He was a hero there.
He was like, what the hell do I want to go over there for?
I'm going to stay here and-
Change the scenery.
Drink every night and carouse.
Give me chicks to fuck.
There's 17-year-olds here that I know will give me the time of day, so what the hell?
He stays there.
But he leaves in 1999 and signs with Buorepierre.
Buorepierre.
He signs with that.
Peri.
Buorepierre.
He signs with them in 1999.
He wasn't happy about it.
Sounds very dairy-filled.
I think it is.
It sounds very white.
Heavy cream sauces.
Yes.
Lots of cream sauces.
Very creamy.
Very, very creamy.
So he plays there all the way until 2003 when he retires from rugby.
Okay.
Completely.
In 2003 he retired? Yes. So. Okay. Completely. In 2003 he retired?
Yes.
So he played.
From 77 to 2003.
Yeah.
That is 26 years.
Jesus.
That's a good career.
Yeah.
He played for a long time.
Yeah.
And you would think, like his friend there, whose name I could pronounce, you would think
he'd be ready to step into the next phase of his life.
Which is sit on your ass and do nothing and let the money roll in with investments.
Yeah, not only that.
Or, yeah, invest in something, do something, start a business.
Do something with yourself that have a plan.
It doesn't include getting your ass kicked every day for 26 years.
Yeah, it's not like he got injured when he was 28 and had to stop playing.
And he's like, fuck, I was planning on playing for the next 10 years.
What am I going to do now?
He's getting up there in age. I mean mean he is 44 years old at this point he's crazy he had
to have thought this might slow down soon I need to get something like I need to get something
lined up for later but he doesn't he doesn't he just says yeah I'll just keep playing when it's
over I'll just drink myself into into inquiryherence. Is that what he does?
That's what he's doing all the time.
But when he's done, what does he do?
He goes further?
Oh, boy, let's get into that now here.
Oh, God.
Oh, my goodness.
Now, they try to be nice to him also, too,
because they see he's having trouble transitioning out of playing.
The rugby stadium in Bourgogne, where he—
He's not good at change, then,
because when shit stops that you're completely used to,
there's a transition period that takes you into same wife.
You're going to do.
Yeah.
Same wife,
same town,
same team,
but he wants to stay.
Yeah.
No work.
He wants to do all.
He just,
if it was up to him,
he'd stay in that one town and play rugby for the rest of his life.
And everything's 65 years old,
getting punched in the face.
Fine.
Great.
Do it. Well, I mean, Mick Skinner, come and come and 65 years old getting punched in the face. Fine. Great. Do it.
Wail on me, Mick Skinner.
Come and drive me backwards and have a whole nation celebrated for 25 fucking years.
Come on, Britain.
Let's go.
Stop celebrating Mick Skinner and get your goddamn meat out of the water.
Let's go.
So you deserve that.
I'm making fun of France for fucking two hours.
You deserve that.
So rugby, the rugby stadium there in Beaujolais
is named, they name a section
after him. Like a whole
section of seats they named after him. That's
the Marc Session section.
Chicago doesn't have a Michael Jordan section.
No. Well, I mean, he was there for 26 or
23 years and he's the hometown
hero and they try to make him kind of
an ambassador to him.
You know, he noticed the president, Pierre Martinet.
Martinet?
Martinet?
I'm impressed already.
Yeah.
Pierre noticed, he's the president of the team, noticed how much of a hard time Mark
has been having in retirement and he hired him to sell corporate suites.
Wow.
Which still, if you're a rugby player and you want all this glory and he's like, here,
sell suites to corporate people. Yeah, but if he's a hero. Here's the all this glory, and he's like, here, sell sweets to corporate people.
Yeah, but if he's a hero.
Here's the sweet.
Oh, they're probably buying it from him.
It's a good strategy.
How hard would it be for Michael Jordan to pop into some jewelry store in Chicago
and be like, hey, not only that, think about some sweets.
Yeah, get you some sweets.
Think about from the team point of view,
people will buy a sweet just so they can go take a tour of the stadium
and be shown the sweet by him because he's such a hero.
So I think that's their strategy.
That's brilliant.
You get a guy up there.
It's really smart by the president of this company here because while he's doing that,
he's not happy with his regular job, which is selling artificial turf.
Oh.
He's literally selling artificial turf.
Oh, that's the worst.
Which that's the worst because artificial turf sucks.
So he's sitting there like, yeah, it's not grass, but it's green and you can run around
on it.
You'll twist your ankle and fuck up your knees, but it's there.
Oh, you'll pop an ACL on it.
But still, you should probably buy some.
You're going to need surgery.
Yeah, it's going to be rough, but it'll look really green.
It's going to look great.
You never have to cut it.
It never dies.
It never dies. Never dies.
So needless to say, he's miserable doing this.
He's depressed, and he's drinking more than he ever has.
I mean, he is on a bender.
Fuck yeah.
He's on a year-long bender here.
There is gossip always among the rugby wives, too, about he has mistresses.
They always talk about the rumors of an ad. Still? about his – he has mistresses. They always talk about the rumors of an –
Still?
Still.
He still has mistresses.
Oh, he's out carousing.
I mean, he's out.
He's drinking.
He's partying.
Please suck this because I don't want to go back to selling AstroTurf tomorrow.
God damn it.
Please suck this.
I don't want to sell corporate sweets either for fuck's sake.
So also, too, it's constant rumors always when
you talk to him it's like oh yeah him and his out of wedlock son right like there's that from 1989
that keeps coming up this out of wedlock son that's never been substantiated at this point
yeah whatever um the couple themselves him and chantal have problems of course they have problems
most of it is because mark's a drunk yeah. He's drunk and he's often jealous.
He always thinks she's having an affair.
Because he is.
Because he is. That's a guilty conscience, man.
He's a drunk guy who's out screwing anything he can drop his dick into.
He's obviously going to think she is, too.
These chicks will bang me, so who are you banging?
Who are you?
Exactly.
And he goes into jealous rages.
And it's mostly because he's drunk.
When he's drunk, we'll get into he has no control over anything. He's a mess when he's drunk. He's a useless person when he's drunk. I think when he's drunk, we'll get into he has no control over anything.
He's just he's a mess when he's drunk.
He he's a useless person.
That's too bad.
And everybody's afraid of him.
They don't want to be around him.
Yeah, it's terrible.
Now, on this period in his life, we have it in their own words, in their own words.
This is great.
You have to do this slurring and in French.
He is.
He is a talker.
All right.
And I am going to do this in a straight way.
I'm not going to do an accent because I have a lot of in their own words to do.
That's a lot of accents for the rest of the night.
Here we go.
In their own words, quote, I turned in on myself too much.
I was like a nutshell.
Perhaps I turned to alcohol too much.
I used it to escape.
So he knows. He's like,
yeah. He's trying to escape because he's going in
on himself. And when he's in his own head,
he's like, my head is so fucked up.
Like he was an alcoholic and a mess and a drunk
and a womanizer and all that while he was
playing, but he was happy. It was like happy
drinking. It wasn't like I'm going to go. He's celebrating.
Yes, that's what it was. Now it's not celebrating. It's
wallowing in self-pity. Well, it's like he
does the same amount.
It seems like he always wanted to do the same amount of drinking.
He was just busy before.
Yeah.
He had to go play a game.
And now he has free time.
Now he's just like, he's drinking at noon.
I mean, he doesn't give a shit.
I mean, literally.
In 2003, 2004, right after retirement, he's going to nightclubs all the time, getting in fistfights at nightclubs.
So, I mean, he's like the local hero, and he's a huge guy and an athlete,
and he's drunk as shit, and he's starting fights in the nightclub.
That ought to be scary to go to a nightclub around that time.
No doubt.
I don't want to go there.
That crazy son of a bitch is there starting brawls all the time.
Yeah, I'm not Mick Skinner.
I can't tackle him.
You know what I mean?
I don't know what to do here.
Man, I'm going to know that forever.
I can't think of a single person that we can compare him to in America that did that.
No.
That had a great career, and then people are afraid to run into him in a nightclub.
I mean, I'm sure there's a lot.
Mike Tyson, guys like that.
Yeah, but-
Charles Barkley.
People are a little scared of Barkley.
There's guys like that, but they weren't out of control like he's out of control.
Tom Chambers drinks quite a bit, too.
Yeah, he's a- Mark Grace gets DUIs. quite a bit, too. Yeah, he's a Mark Grace gets DUIs.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Phoenix, Arizona athletes.
Mark Grace, I love him so much because he got a DUI
and got a breathalyzer put in his car.
Then he got a DUI again.
Yeah, he doesn't care.
And he dismantled the fucking breathalyzer.
The dedication that he has to drinking and driving is fucking incredible.
He really, really wants to drink and drive.
If I had that kind of dedication to anything in my life, I'd be so successful.
Why?
I know.
Why not just take a cab?
He's just like, fuck it.
I'm drinking tonight.
I'm drinking.
I'm getting in my car.
Rip this shit out.
That's the thing.
You know what it is, too?
He probably hired a guy who knows how to dismantle it right and like that so it looks good still.
He's like, how do I fucking bypass the kill switch?
And they're just like, oh, it's just right here. man i wire this into my drink in a do can i wire this
into my stereo yeah so when i switch to disc two on the changer it goes off can i get that is that
possible jesus christ i really love beer i really love beer. I have to drink. Don't you understand? That's fucking
incredible. So one of his long-time
friends, friends for 15, 20 years,
and a retired rugby player, Jean
Francois Zordeau. Yeah.
Jean Francois. He sounds sexy
as fuck. Very French. He
talks about kind of, he is
a friend of his, but he's still a
silver-haired, middle-aged white man in defense
of him. He has more silver-haired, middle-aged white men than anybody. The whole town is silver-haired, middle-aged white man in defense of him. He has more silver-haired, middle-aged white men than anybody.
The whole town is silver-haired, middle-aged white men.
Yeah, that makes sense.
And we'll see later just how silver these people are.
It's amazing.
This guy probably has a happy trail, though, and he never has a shirt on.
No, no, he never has a shirt on.
I feel like he's just going around with a beer in his hand.
You know, a glass of wine in one hand and a thick French beer in the other.
And he's just shouting at girls, you want to party?
You want to party?
Oh, that's terrible.
That's terrible.
He's like the perverted shawarma man.
He's awful.
You don't want that happening.
Shawarma man was a lecherous alcoholic.
We might have just stumbled on a new one.
That's great.
We have a quote about him kind of trying to explain Mark's behavior, basically.
And he tries a couple of times.
We had a couple of quotes from him.
He says, Tordeau says, quote, Mark was always being invited for drinks and to parties.
People look good if they had him as a guest.
And they bragged about it if they spent the afternoon drinking with him.
He couldn't say no, but found it a burden to be in such high demand.
So he's an alcoholic.
And when people say, come on, let's go get some drinks, this is a constant that comes
up.
He just jumps out of his chair.
Cool, let's go.
People are just walking away.
Hey, you want to come get some drinks with us?
Fuck yeah, I do.
He can't pay.
He can't buy a drink.
Right.
Everyone, he can't even buy a drink.
They're just buying them for him all the time.
He goes into a club and there's more drinks than he can drink.
So, I mean, he just can't even drink them all.
That's terrible.
For an alcoholic who can't control yourself, that's terrible.
Every room, and it's not just bars, it's everywhere he goes.
Everywhere he walks in, they're like, there's Mark.
We know he likes to drink.
I want to be friends with him.
How about a drink?
And he's like, okay, sure.
All right.
And then he's punching people five seconds later.
I just pissed my pants, but I'll have another.
Yeah, yeah.
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The wait is over.
So far, you're not losing.
The only thing you're losing is my patience.
Quickly, I see that.
Bing!
The queen of the courtroom is back.
I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
Okay, so, um...
This is not a so.
This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
The Emmy Award- winning series returns.
How did I know that?
I have crystal ball in my head.
It's an all new season.
It's streaming.
You can say anything.
Judy Justice.
Only on Freebie.
Now, March 11th, 2003, French rugby stars release a CD.
They release an album.
It's for a good cause, to fight abuse and violence against children, which is great.
But it's just like J.R. Ryder and the NBA album.
It's the same thing.
And these guys, they're not rapping.
They're singing.
What?
So it's terrible when people who can't rap are rapping, but it's way worse.
Way worse.
People who can't sing rap shit because they're like, we have a friend who does karaoke all the time and she'll only do rap because she's like, I can't sing.
So I do the Beastie Boys because everyone can do that.
That's what I mean.
These people were singing.
Oh, Jesus.
He had a solo track, Mark.
So he's a pop star here now.
Wow.
A solo track.
I believe the solo track is called, holy shit, here we go.
That's not the name of the solo track.
The name of the solo track is Le Droit de Petit Hommos.
Hommos.
Hommos.
Almost.
Almost. That's the name of it. Iommos. Hommos. Almost. Almost.
That's the name of it.
I don't know what the fuck that means.
I'm sure it's a terrible song.
The word small is in there, I know.
I don't know anything else.
It's a small world?
Is that the word?
I believe he's saying his own cover of It's a Small World after all, I believe.
And he did it in the Asian accent that they have at Disneyland.
And he's saying it over and over and over and over.
I don't know.
It's a small world. I don't know.
I don't know how to do.
I don't know how to do.
I tried to sing this song and it said, I don't know.
Never mind.
Fuck the children.
And then he drank some wine.
And his friend is all, Mark, you want party?
You want party?
So good.
Unbelievable.
2003, the family starts to notice.
Chantal and her family start noticing him drinking so much and being abusive and being everything else.
So they beg him to get help for his drinking.
They say, please go to detox, do something.
He refuses, obviously.
He's pissed in the Lazy Boy.
Yeah, he's like, I'm living my life here.
And you're not even sitting in it.
What the fuck?
He's like, have you heard my song?
I'm fine.
Are you kidding me?
I sang, I got poor Les Dreitz de Petit Semiz.
I got, I'm all good.
Don't you know that shit?
I'm a pop star.
I'll drink what I want, motherfucker.
I want party.
I want party.
You bring party, I take party take party you drink okay okay so french rugby on this is uh
on his transition this is in 2015 they're talking about him still uh french rugby federation
president which french rugby anytime a federation and say just it sounds completely illegitimate to me because it's the
World Wrestling Federation back in the day.
So whenever I hear federation, it sounds fake
or it's like federation of intergalactic
shit with some Star Wars
thing. I don't fucking know. So it always makes me laugh.
When I was a kid, we rented videos from
confederated videos. Any time I hear
federated anything,
I'm just thinking of people
that steal. You're like, maybe I can
get Fast Times at Ridgemont High and see her boobs
for three seconds tonight. That's what you're thinking
when you're 10. And they're going to charge me $15
for a late video when I turn it back in.
Terrible. Fucking thieves.
So the Federation President
Mark Lapisat,
Lapisay, Lapisat,
he says, quote,
he was one of the victims of the transition from amateur rugby to professional rugby.
Today, there are means for helping sportsmen start a new career.
In those days, these tools didn't exist.
So basically, yeah, he had a hard time transitioning like many athletes do here.
But apparently, they have a thing to help them now transition into their next career.
It's tough not to be the hero anymore.
It is, especially if you're that.
For 26 years, from the time you're 17.
I can't even imagine.
From the time you're 17.
You don't even have another identity.
I'm 35 right now.
I'd still be in the heyday.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
And he played since he was eight.
And even when he went to work for the Cakemaker, they let him go do rugby practice.
I mean, this has been, he is all about rugby and everyone around him bends over backwards
for his rugby.
The cake maker doesn't care.
And the teams don't give a shit what he does out there because they covered it up.
The teams knew he was drinking this much all through his career.
They knew what he was doing, but he's a hero.
Yeah.
He's got an illegitimate child for Christ's sake.
And there's like brush that shit under the rug.
Silver haired, middle aged white men all the way up to the front of the box. They don't
care and guess what? He's bringing in dollars.
So much so that even when it's over
they're trying to help him out. Get him a job.
Yeah that's the thing. They want to help him.
They really do. Everybody wants to help this
guy. I wish more people wanted to help
me. Yeah. Nobody wants to
help us. Nobody gives a fuck about us.
No one cares about comedians who
do podcasts. They really don't.
They don't.
We're enemies of the state, you guys, practically.
So August 7th, 2004 now.
Mark, he's got a Harley.
He likes to ride his Harley around.
And on this particular day, he's got on black shorts and a black T-shirt and what they called a California helmet.
I'm not a motorcycle guy.
That's the half helmet.
That's the half helmet.
So that's what he's got.
He's got one of those on.
That's what he's riding around a Harley around France.
Yeah.
So I don't know if he thinks he's from Texas, but whatever.
He has snakeskin boots on that just fixes the whole ensemble.
Wearing shorts, which I would love to watch.
With that little fucking beanie helmet.
Yeah, because you know the shorts are short, too.
Oh, my God, so short.
Sometimes when I ride.
They're cut off.
Sometimes when I ride, the wind comes on my balls and I feel good.
It feels good.
I open my leg and let the ball come out and I say, wind of the road, cool me.
Cool me, nature.
Cool the dew on my balls.
You cool from my scrum up to my body.
I don't care.
Started my scrum and work inward.
Hilarious.
So, Jesus Christ, his scrum.
Unbelievable.
So, Mark spends the afternoon this day, August 7, 2004, on his Harley riding around the French countryside.
He goes to see a friend of his, Jean-Francois Tourdeau, that we brought up
before, who runs, he runs a lakeside restaurant near Flossay, where Mark stopped.
I know that's Flossay because it's spelled like Versailles, the Palace of Versailles.
S-A-I-L-L-E.
I did good in social studies.
Yeah, man.
There we go.
So it's Flossay, where when someone's going to go, that's actually not how you pronounce
it.
Right.
Go fuck yourself.
It's Flossay.
I'm trying my fucking best.
Good Christ.
Yes.
So Mark stops there at the Lakeside restaurant that his friend Tordeaux owns.
Tordeaux says about this day, quote, Mark was on his Harley.
He dropped by for a coffee and stayed about two and a half hours,
which is how long it takes to do anything in France, I imagine.
I always hear like in France, like I remember I was watching Kitchen Nightmares with Gordon
Ramsey and it was the UK Kitchen Nightmares.
And he is in this restaurant and they have a French head chef.
And the guy's like, actually, it was one of the restaurant wasn't doing well financially,
but the chef was really, really good and talented and everything like that.
And basically, Gordon was trying to explain to him, Gordon Ramamsay that look you know you're it's too long people are sitting here for a long time and you need to turn over
tables and it's a tasting menu type thing it's a big long thing and the guy said in france you know
people like to sit for you know two maybe three maybe four hours for a meal so that's i like to
provide for them so a sixth of the day? Like maybe three, maybe four hours.
He was dead serious, and Gordon's like,
well, this is fucking Scotland,
because this restaurant is in Scotland.
He's like, no one wants to eat a four-hour meal in Scotland.
Get your shit together.
They got to go home.
And he said it exactly like that,
with bleeps and everything.
He looked at him like,
are you out of your fucking mind,
you dumb French asshole?
Because I love how Gordon Ramsay's
constantly making fun of the French,
because he's English and he hates them,
and he grew up in kitchens in France.
But anyway, so that's what I'm imagining.
He wanted to make a reference to the white flag and how chefs wear all white.
Yes, exactly.
It's perfect color for you.
Perfect color, pussy.
So he stays.
You cunt.
Drinks wine or drinks coffee for two and a half hours.
Jesus.
I assume that he drank more than coffee, too, if he's going to be at this place for two and a half hours.
He drinks other things than coffee.
He hung out.
Now, the quote continues here from Tordeau.
He said, we had played boulet, which is bocce, by the way.
Look that up.
That's bocce ball, basically, the night before, and he had won.
He wanted to stay on and play again.
He did not want to go to the party.
Okay.
Now, this party that he's discussing, on the night of August 7th, Mark is supposed to be at a party with his wife, and the party is thrown by Christian and Babeth Begai.
Listen to this.
This is wild, okay?
It is the end-of-season party at Christian and Babeth Begui's Villa in Flosai.
Oh, boy.
That shit sounds beautiful.
Fancy.
Yeah.
How fancy does that sound?
White flowers everywhere.
You ever been to a villa, Jimmy?
No.
No, me neither.
You ever been to an end of season party?
No.
No, me neither.
Nothing.
Where I come from, there's parties for Christmas and your fucking birthday.
That's it.
Maybe Halloween, not an end of season party.
They do four of them a year.
That's amazing.
It's August.
It's not the end of shit.
No.
This is just the beginning of August party they're having.
But they're calling it the end of season party.
And Mark was the guest of honor at this party.
Wow.
Because he's so popular.
And he doesn't want to go.
He doesn't want to go.
He wants to stay and hang out with his buddy.
Because like I said, he's besieged with people that want him, blah, blah, blah.
He just wants to hang out with his buddy and play bocce.
You know what I mean?
He likes the guy.
He can get shit-faced, drunk with that guy.
End of season sounds like they throw this party once a month whenever the wife is done with her period.
End of season.
That's what they call season in France.
She's in season.
You don't want to.
She's in the season.
No good.
End of season. I throw party. I throw party. We's in the season. No good. End of season.
I throw party.
I throw party.
We all shave our armpits.
Go.
So, yes.
So he's supposed to be the guest of honor.
Chantel arrives alone at about 8 o'clock.
Uh-oh.
And she's standing out in the parking lot or in the driveway area where they had cars
parked.
She's standing out there for a while by herself.
Other party goers notice
that she looks pissed off and she's
not coming in.
She said she's dressed. I've got a wife.
I've seen this face so many times.
Yes, they said a very stern
face. Stern face.
She's standing in the parking lot. She's waiting for Mark.
Something tells me Mark said, I'll be there at 830.
I'll meet you. And she said, okay. And she showed up
at 830 and then he just. There's no Mark. I'll meet you. And she said, OK. And she showed up at 830. And then he just never.
There's no Mark.
There's no Mark.
So she hangs out in the parking lot, really pissed off for a while, according to her friends.
Perfect.
Not a happy camper with this scenario at all.
So she eventually comes in alone.
She socializes with everybody.
She's very friendly and knows everybody there.
But she's storing shit to fight with Mark about when she gets home.
Wait till I get home, motherfucker.
She's like, where is that son of a bitch?
Is he on that fucking motorcycle
again? I swear to God, you show up
drunk, Mark, you motherfucker.
And I guess he earlier had wanted
he wanted her to go out that day with him
on the motorcycle to
cruise around and go hang out with this guy.
And she's like, I don't want to hang out with your goddamn friends and watch you play bocce
on the fucking motorcycle.
I want to drink coffee for two and a half fucking hours.
I want to watch you ride down the highway with your left ball hanging out to try to
cool yourself.
I'm not doing it.
Okay.
I don't want to come near you.
That was two and a half hours.
I'll get dressed for the party.
Yeah.
Done.
So Mark arrives at the party at 11 PM.
Oh, he is like two and a half hours.
He's wasted.
He is in deep shit. Yeah. The wife,. He is like two and a half hours late. He's wasted. He is in deep shit with the wife.
He's in trouble, and he is hammered.
Absolutely.
Hammered.
Drunk as shit.
Riding a Harley.
I mean, he's belligerent immediately, basically.
Can you imagine?
I've ridden motorcycles for quite a while, and if you are out all day long on a motorcycle,
you feel like shit anyway from the
wind just getting beaten and
he's drunk at the same time
he looks terrible and he smells
worse he's still got the same black
shorts he's got the black shirt he comes
in snakeskin boots and he hasn't taken
the helmet off even though he's inside
he's drunk and he's like what are we doing this is a
garden party everyone's outside
it's an end of season villa garden party and he's walking around what are we doing? This is a garden party. Everyone's outside. Oh, God. It's an end of season villa garden party.
And he's walking around with his California helmet on.
Not to mention, Jesus.
He was, too.
That's what he had me on when he arrived.
Of course.
Yeah, he arrives.
He stands there, basically.
He walks in and we have a quote from a guest who saw the whole thing.
Who watched his arrival.
Who watched his arrival.
It's a woman named Lise.
L-I-S-E. L-I-S-E. I don't know what the fuck name that is. France. Who watched his arrival. Who watched his arrival. It's a woman named Lise, L-I-S-E,
I don't know what the fuck name that is.
France, sons of bitches.
So anyway, she says about Mark, she says,
quote, Mark was standing by the refreshment bar while almost everyone else was sitting.
He kept drinking.
Chantel was well-dressed.
He completely ignored her.
Not everyone knew about it.
We all know that when Mark is drunk, it is better not to approach him.
He takes everything wrong.
No one wants to invite him out in the evening so much it can spoil the atmosphere.
So basically, like, when he's—
She doesn't like him.
That's the thing.
She does not like him at all.
Jimmy, this is so weird.
Everybody, this is insane because as this goes on,
this whole story, it's so split
between men and women.
Men are on his side 100%.
None of the women like him. That woman
hates him. She hates his guts. Read that
statement again because she goes, she was
well-dressed. He didn't say a thing to her.
No, he said, Chantel was
well-dressed. He completely ignored her.
That's something that a woman that's on the side of the woman says for sure.
And then that last part, say that last part again.
No one wants to invite him in the evening.
Yeah, that's the one that's like nobody wants him around when he's drunk.
He's an asshole.
So much it can spoil the atmosphere.
That is like a classy way of saying he shows up and fucks shit up and piss can spoil the atmosphere. That is like a classy
way of saying he shows up and fucks
shit up and pisses in the fountain.
You don't know how many times he's fucked up nights that
I've had. He shows up with his ball hanging out
pissing in the fountain. He's a mess, this guy.
A goddamn mess. He showed up
drunk and he continued drinking. She looked
great. He didn't say a word. Then he pissed
in the fucking fountain. Not even just the one
in the garden. He pissed in the chocolate fountain.
It was a nice chocolate fountain.
He pissed in the fondue fountain. It was a
whatever the French chocolate. I don't even know what a French chocolate
is. I don't know. I'm guessing fondue's
French. Some French shit. It sounds right
to me. Fine. So Golden Corral is
French, you're telling me? Okay, moving on.
What the hell? I'll buy that.
They're trying to class that shit up.
We're French now.
So Mark eventually sits down with Chal and babette here the host of the hostess of the party and his wife babette
gets up first of all they're happy that he sits down because they think this is so much fun i want
to be at this party this party sounds fucking amazing It's about to not be as fun in a minute, but it's really fun for now.
Yeah.
But they're happy when he sits down because they think he's going to eat.
And they're like, good, we can get him some food.
It'll soak up the alcohol, kind of just take the edge off him a little bit.
Also, too, we don't have to shadow him, make sure he doesn't fall down.
Just let's sober him up a drop.
Maybe he'll put his ball away and calm down and everybody will be happy, right?
I love that his sack's out this whole time.
Oh, his scrum is kicking it right in the mix here.
Front and center.
Scrum front and center.
His balls are the fucking guest of honor.
They are.
We have our guest of honor.
We have Mark and his ball hanging out.
It's very cool from the ride.
So he, Babette gets up saying that she's going to go get him a plate.
The host is going to fix him a plate because she's like, I'll get you some food.
Probably lots of bread.
Lots of bread.
Let's soak that up.
And she really was like looking around like, you know, like, yeah, let's do it.
Everyone's like, yeah, get him some food because everyone's like trying to not say what a fucking drunken disaster he is right now.
He says, he says, quote, I don't want any of your disgusting food.
He's the guest of honor.
And these people's beautiful mountain villa at their end of season parties, they probably
have wonderful, delicious food.
The spread is incredible.
Oh, it's probably amazing.
I remember oysters, I'm sure,
in France. It looks like a Gabriel Iglesias green room. His green room
is fucking amazing. There's caramel
dipping sauce. There's meats everywhere.
It's fantastic.
There's fruits. That's what it looks like.
This is like that, but classy.
And it's on a naked body.
This is class right here.
She's like, I don't want any of your disgusting food, he tells her.
I just picture him all drunk Tuesday.
I don't want any of your disgusting food.
But actually in French, obviously.
Slurring the fuck out of it.
She says, quote, stop making.
And that's as far as she gets because he slaps her.
He slaps her in the face. He slaps her in the face.
He slaps the hostess of the party in the face.
Stop making whack.
That's awesome.
For offering him food.
I'll get you some food.
Oh, yeah?
How about I smack you instead?
He didn't even let her.
Wow.
She could have said something like, stop making, I don't know, that chair sticky.
Stop making everyone uncomfortable that your balls are out.
Something, anything that would have maybe been slightly insulting.
She instead said, I'll get you some food.
And he insulted her and her house.
And she was, I think, she was probably going to say, stop making a big deal.
And she was probably going to try to just say something nice.
And from what I understand, it wasn't a little smack.
It was a rugby player smack.
They called it, they said she corkscrewed.
So I think he smacked her and kept her spinning in the rotation.
Oh my God, I hate to laugh.
Yes, he hit a woman, it's horrible.
But holy shit, this is like ridiculous.
I think because it's French.
If they didn't have French accents, it would be like, this is horrible.
But the fact that it's like, stop making... And he smacks her
and corkscrews her. At least he smacked her and didn't punch
her. It's in the helps. This isn't
a snow globe. It's not real.
You know what I mean? To me, it's weird. It's just such
a strange... These people live in a snow globe.
It's so terrible. Oh my god. So
he slaps Babette. So Babette's
husband, Christian, comes over and
punches Mark in the face. He just runs
over and hauls him. Mark doesn't flinch.
Oh, no.
Because he's huge and a rugby player, too.
And drunk as fuck.
And drunk as shit.
So he basically just takes it, and that's that, basically.
So a bunch of the other rugby players, because this party is mainly rugby players, rugby
player wives.
It's that circle, you know?
A bunch of the other players come over.
Oh, Mark, calm, calm, calm, calm, because they know he just got punched.
Shit just got real. This place is going to be on fire in a calm. Because they know he just got punched. Shit just got real.
This place is going to be on fire in a second.
He's going to napalm this son of a bitch.
It's going to be a mess.
So they all calm him down.
You know, Chantel's crying.
She's all afraid because he just smacked her friend.
Yeah.
You know, and he apparently, from later on, we find out, he kind of understands that this is probably the last straw with his wife.
Yeah.
Because his wife has been not, you know, not.
She's been dealing with enough.
She's been dealing with his bullshit and everything else.
So smacking one of her best friends at their end of season villa party.
Now her statement makes a lot more sense, too.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
So anyway, he's there.
At this point, he's asked to leave.
Oh, yeah.
Shocking.
You think?
That has to be the only way you can get thrown out of a party held in your honor is to smack the hostess in the face. The people that threw you the fucking party.
When they offer you food.
They didn't say, they didn't call him ugly.
They didn't tell him to put his ball away.
They literally offered him food.
They didn't even cut him off. No. You know what I mean? They didn't tell him no put his ball away. They literally offered him food. They didn't even cut him off.
No.
You know what I mean?
They didn't even tell him no more drinks.
They just said, keep drinking, but here, put this in there too.
They didn't even say that.
Right.
She didn't even say like, hey, you've had a lot to drink.
Let me get you some food.
She's like, let me just get-
But he knew.
Let me make you a plate.
He knew.
I picture her all happy.
Let me make you a plate.
She's trying to plate.
I'm like, yeah, let's get him some alcohol.
Get some fucking food.
Fuck you.
I don't want any disgusting food.
Wow. Your food. Wow.
Your food's disgusting.
Mark goes to leave because he's being kicked out.
He calls for his wife to leave with him.
He says, let's go.
We're leaving.
And she says, no, I'm staying.
I showed up without you.
I'll leave without you.
Not to mention just hit my friend.
I kind of want to smooth that over a little bit.
I'd like to not take the blame for what you just did. Yeah, that'd be nice.
I'd like to do that. So, Mark
leaves the party, okay? He drives
back home, and he returns
back about a half hour later.
This is a little after midnight. He comes back,
okay? Now,
the guy's
teenage son, Alexander,
is in the bathroom of the home.
This overlooks the driveway, so he sees him arriving, okay, is in the bathroom of the home. This overlooks the driveway.
So he sees him arriving.
Okay.
Here's the Harley pull-up.
He hears the Harley pull-up.
Oh, God.
He sees him walking up the driveway.
And by the way, the driveway is lined by a vineyard.
Oh, God.
It's beautiful.
It's amazing.
It's so nice here.
It's a picturesque villa.
I'm just picturing this.
I'm like, God, I want to be at this party.
And I'm picturing, too, it's outside garden party.
It's probably beautiful out.
They probably have good food.
There's linen clothing everywhere.
So much Tommy Bahama.
It's so beautiful.
Whatever the French classy version of that is.
Whatever that shit is.
That's like what 55-year-old guys that have done half decent in the stock market wear here.
Like, I'm going to get my cigar and my Tommy Bahama shirt and head to the beach.
They would have kicked that guy out in three seconds.
Some middle shelf scotch and wander around like he's somebody.
I feel like there's a lot of, like, tailored clothes here.
Oh, yeah, that's exactly what it is.
All these clothes were made for these people, the costumes, I feel like.
They fit perfectly around every curve of their fucking weird French body.
Absolutely.
Their weird, lumpy wine bodies.
So, he sees him walking up the vineyard line driveway.
He sees Mark tuck a gun into his shorts.
Oh, shit.
Shit's getting real now.
So, he left for a half an hour.
Went home.
Came right back.
I'll leave.
All right, listen, I'm the asshole.
I'm going to go home.
Fine, cool.
And on his ride home, he's like, now I feel like a man again.
I'm going to grab my 9mm and head right the fuck back.
I got that.
That's cool.
Unreal, right?
So Alexander, the son, runs downstairs to start warning people that, hey, he's got a gun.
You know, I saw him tuck it into his waistband.
That might not be normal.
Hey, guys, the drunk guy's back, and he brought a gun.
This isn't Texas, so there's a problem here.
You know what I mean? So he goes down. He's telling people, as many as, but he's like the teenage son. They're guys, the drunk guy's back, and he brought a gun. This isn't Texas, so there's a problem here. You know what I mean?
So he goes down.
He's telling people, as many as, but he's like the teenage son.
They're like, yeah, it's fine.
They're all drunk partying.
He's telling them, move this way in the garden.
Get out of here.
They're like, he's fine.
What are you talking about?
He's not going to shoot anybody.
He's the national hero.
Who's he going to fucking shoot?
He's the guest of honor, for Christ's sake.
He's probably coming back to apologize to Babette for smacking her or fucking paint brushing her.
Well, he's coming back for a reason, all right.
So he comes back in the party.
First thing he does is talk to Christian.
Christian, the guy, the husband of Babette who punched him, they have a conversation.
It's a very calm conversation at this.
Mark has calmed down.
Mark's not mad at him.
Christian's like, look, man, you can't be hitting my wife.
You know what I mean?
You can't smack my wife in my own house. You can call my food disgusting all you want. Whatever can't be like hitting my wife. Right. You know what I mean? Like, you can't smack my wife in my own house.
You can call my food disgusting all you want.
Whatever.
Try not to hit my wife, please.
You know, it's a simple request.
It's odd.
I, you know, when I was married, I had that rule, too, is I invite people over and I'd
be like, hey, while you're here, just don't smack my wife.
All your thanks.
And then, you know, I'd appreciate it because you have to tell people sometimes.
Sometimes they just think you're allowed to smack whoever you want.
Just want to tell you in my house, we don't hit my
wife. Also, keep from molesting my kids.
Thank you. I would like that also.
Don't smack my wife. Don't diddle my kids. Don't fuck my kid.
Don't fuck my wife. Also, don't punch my wife.
All those, everything else, whatever.
All this shit goes without saying, I feel.
I've made a nice steak for you. If you feel it's
disgusting, feel free to tell me.
Feel free to smack not me or my wife.
Just don't smack anybody okay
so all's calm he talks to christian everything's fine uh mark goes to the table where his wife is
like he would normally like he's coming back to apologize right he apologizes to babette he
apologizes to his wife he apologizes to everyone at the table he says i'm very sorry it gives some
excuse just i'm very sorry whatever and turns some excuse, just I'm very sorry, whatever, and turns to leave.
Pretends to turn to leave.
And everyone's like, oh, all right.
Well, you know, he's drunk and whatever.
Shit gets crazy.
Told you so, dumb teenager.
It wasn't a gun.
He was fixing his nut that fell out.
Yeah, he's just fixing his nut.
And I feel like I don't know, and I don't know this for a fact, but I feel like domestic
violence is taken lighter in France than it is here.
Maybe it's not, but here, if you smacked a woman, you cannot come back to that party, especially if it's the hostess.
You can't come back to the party and smack a woman.
All my education about France is from Pepe Le Pew, and he smacked a lot of people.
Oh, yeah.
He was really misogynist.
He was smacking people.
He was trying to rape skunks.
It was cats.
Always fucking and slapping.
Fucking and slapping.
Well, he turns to leave, turns back around with his gun out, and shoots.
Okay.
He is, yeah, he was just, he fires his.357.
Oh, my God.
So this is not, if you don't know anything about guns, that's about as big a handgun.
That's a hand cannon.
It's a cannon.
Yeah.
It's a Dirty Harry gun, basically.
It does some damage.
Yeah.
Well, that was a.44, but whatever.
Same gun.
It's a.357.
It's a giant bullet.
It's a big fucking bullet, and it's a six-shot revolver.
It's nasty.
It's big.
It's a revolver, too.
You only need six.
You only need six, and you don't even need that.
No.
He fires five times at his wife.
What?
Only at his wife.
Doesn't spray the room. Only his wife. Five times. Hits her four times with Oh, my God. At his wife. What? Only at his wife. Doesn't spray the room.
Only his wife.
Five times.
Hits her four times with a.357.
Wow.
So as you can imagine.
It's over.
It's over.
He hits her in the arm, the chest, and the head.
She falls down, knocks the table down with her, falling down.
The people at this point at the party, first of all, I must say also, too, that's five shots fired. That is
two more bullets than the entire drug
crew had in London last week.
The Pierce
gang had three bullets to their name. This guy
dumped two more than a whole drug gang
had. And he's a pretty good
shot. Four hit the
target. He was close. It was six feet
away. He was at
the table. He's not a good shot if he missed one.
Well, it was probably her falling.
And he was drunk as piss still.
I was impressed that he hit anything four times being that drunk.
It was shit.
I wish it wasn't his wife.
I wish it was a goddamn target or something.
Go take your frustrations out on an oil can or something.
What are you doing shooting your wife?
You didn't even have two Doc Holliday guns.
No, one for each of you.
One for each of you.
No, he has this, and he fires five times hits
her four times like i said she falls down and you know knocks the whole table down the guests
obviously freak the fuck out you know how loud a 357 is and a nice quiet garden party that'll
especially too because it wasn't like there was screaming screaming and then gunshots he came over
and calm nobody even noticed he was what was going on because it was calm and then gunshots. He came over and calmed. Nobody even noticed what was going on because it was calm. And then he just fired shots.
So the guests jump on him.
They try to subdue him so he doesn't shoot anybody else.
Yeah, the son, the guy's son, Alexander, tries to tackle him from behind,
and they say it bounced off him like rubber.
Oh, I'm sure.
Because he's 16.
He's a brick shithouse and is some teenager trying to tackle a guy
who people have been trying to tackle for 25 years unsuccessfully except for Mick Skinner.
So they're trying to get on him.
And these are all rugby players too.
This isn't like he's a bunch of science teachers.
These are rugby players.
It takes more than a dozen of them to get him to the ground.
That's how much he's drunk and he's huge and he's wild and he's strong and he's angry. And they can't get him to the ground. That's how much he's drunk and he's huge and he's wild and he's strong and he's angry.
And they can't get him to the ground.
They finally wrestle him to the ground.
And when police arrive, he is tied to a chair with an electric cord.
Awesome.
That's what they use to tie him to a chair.
It's like they captured Gulliver.
I don't know.
They just pinned him to the chair.
He's freaking out, right?
He's yelling for his wife.
He also sustained a pretty good head injury from this.
I'm sure somebody clocked him a few times in the head or hit him with something because
it was just a melee.
I mean, they jumped on him.
They couldn't get, he was throwing people off and, you know, they're trying to tackle
him.
So I'm sure somebody knocked him good in the head one time.
So he's got a pretty good head injury.
He yells, quote, where is Chantel?
I want to see her.
It's love that did that.
I love her.
What?
That's his quote, freaking out in the chair afterwards.
Wow.
This is where I'd like to propose.
So he's kind of aware of what happened.
Yeah.
But he wants to see the body?
Where is she?
But then he says he did it.
Then he says, I did it because I love her.
It's love that did that.
That's the oddest thing I've ever heard in my life.
This is the point.
You know what love did to my wife?
Love knocked my wife up twice.
I didn't shoot her four times.
That's what love did.
That's good.
That's why you're sitting here in a French prison.
Right.
Your ball hanging out.
It's now that I have to bring up, maybe it's time to put a fucking helmet on, guys, over there.
Yeah.
What do you think?
Wow.
Because I'm going to say something right now.
Over here in football where they wear, these helmets are technologically super advanced.
Oh, my God.
Every year all they're trying to do is, I've seen the things where they make these helmets.
It's so scientific.
It's incredible.
It's computers.
It's all this shit.
These helmets are made, and guys are still fucking made of pudding when they're done playing.
I've worn an MLB helmet, a real one, and it is so cushy inside and so nice.
Yes.
And that's not even one designed to be smashed into play after play after play.
If a case of ball hits you or something.
Just on the off chance that one comes silly.
These football helmets are so incredibly well made,
and these guys still end up as brain damaged and shit all the time.
They kill their families.
They kill themselves.
They don't know what they're doing.
They have CTE.
They end up like Jimmy Superfly Snuka having a pudding fucking brain.
These guys are running around with no goddamn fucking helmet at all.
None. Playing for 25 goddamn years with no goddamn fucking helmet at all. None.
Playing for 25 goddamn years with anything.
Also, too, in the rules, I don't see anything about, I looked at rules and shit to try to
see things.
I didn't see anything about a blow to the head being bad.
I feel like when you're in the scrum and everyone's in lattice, you could be fucking
forearming people in the temple all you want and nothing's going to happen.
And then they end up shooting their wife at a fucking garden party.
There's no doctor that comes out to assess your concussion.cussion no shit that's the thing they're like oh he's fine
give him some wine and take his ball out he's hot like what the fuck man this is ridiculous
put your goddamn helmet on i heard that an entirely different he's hot
he's got his ball out it's sexy it's really sexy i'm turning me on call him to put it away
i'm serious man i'm
fucking sick of this shit because i'm sick of over here the nfl tries to deny their responsibility
for it i mean how do they deal with it over there they don't even have nothing helmet at least
they're trying in the nfl they're like don't hit in the head and we'll protect your head over there
they're just like run around and kill each other what the fuck is going on christ almighty i'd like
to know if mick skinner has brain damage i bet he does he probably doesn't even remember that tackle no i'd love to know
the percentage of these guys that have cte afterwards that have brain damage that that
do crazy shit like this right now that's described i bet there's a lot more than we think there
probably gotta be and i don't know if it's been brought to the forefront out there or not or if
it's here because sports are well, sports are big there, too.
So I don't know.
Anyway, police arrive, take him into custody while he's screaming, tied to a chair with an electrical cord.
Screaming about love.
Screaming about how love did this.
He wakes up in jail the next morning on August 8th with a horrible hangover.
I'm sure.
He drank a ton and claims he has no recollection of the night before.
Now, imagine you wake up with that hangover and you're in jail and you're like, why am
I in jail?
Where's my wife?
Where's my wife?
I don't believe this, but he starts yelling for Chantel.
He starts yelling, Chantel, Chantel.
Now, I don't believe that he doesn't remember.
I feel like he's starting to get little waves of memory back and he's like, I remember shooting
someone.
Where's Chantel?
Yeah.
He starts yelling for her in his cell.
The guards come up. Now, did he not notice he was inel? Yeah. He starts yelling for her in his cell. The guards come up.
Now, did he not notice he was in jail?
Yeah.
Did he not know?
Did he think, oh, yeah.
Chantel, what have you done to my bedroom?
This is a really shit hotel room you got us.
You have decorated horribly.
This is terrible.
I don't like this at all.
Good God.
These doors look like prison bars.
Did he think that the jail was a hotel?
Did his wife pick it out?
We are complaining on you.
This is a one star. I'm telling you right now.
We are leaving. This is terrible.
This is bullshit. The bed was so uncomfortable.
They're yelling. The guards come
obviously and they say, this is what they
say to him, quote, you can't have her.
She is dead. You shot her last night.
Oh God. That's a wake up call.
That was the worst wake up
call ever you guys. That was the worst wake-up call ever, you guys.
Yeah, that was the worst wake-up call ever.
Let's get down to it.
Is there a continental breakfast?
Let's go over to Air France.
So the guard, Lieutenant Luc Van Oud, Van Oud, Van Oud, said that when Mark was told what he'd done, he refused to believe it.
He refused to believe it. He refused to believe it.
He would have an in their own words on it, in their own words to the guards.
Who are we dressed like this?
And why are you in stripes?
And why are there bars here then?
It's a big prank.
It's a big rugby prank.
Yeah, we're just fucking with you.
Yeah, just fucking with you.
One of your buddies is going to come now and say, hey.
And ask you if you want to party.
Yeah, you want to party.
You want to go.
So he says in their own words to the guards, quote, but I love her.
She means everything to me.
I owe her everything.
But that doesn't make her fucking bulletproof, moron.
No, it doesn't make her alive.
Or anything.
Unbelievable.
You do owe her a lot, actually.
Yes, you do.
You owe her.
A huge apology.
Yes.
Jesus, I would say.
You smacked her best friend, and then you killed her.
Probably a couple organs that she's missing now that you shot them out with a giant hand cannon.
Like a brain, you dick.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, when the paramedics arrived, too, they tried for a minute to try to revive her.
Her heart was torn apart, they said.
She was like, heart and lungs were destroyed by the shot to the chest.
No chance that she was dead before they, you know.
She was just bleeding out when they got there, basically.
The guard said that he was monosyllabic for weeks.
All he would answer.
Yes.
No, he wouldn't answer any questions.
He wouldn't do anything.
He was just like in a state of shock.
Yeah.
Sitting there in his cell.
Yeah.
Because according to him, he didn't know what happened.
And he's sitting in his fucking cell, you know, like just who knows,
like wondering how life has got to this point.
And then the cell door opens and it's the Mexican pimp.
Guns blazing.
And he says. How is it you've come to arrive here?
How have you come to arrive here?
Why?
Why have you come?
The people, the people, they idolize you.
They idolize you.
You have balls out cruising through the countryside.
It's not good enough.
Why?
They throw you parties.
Why?
Why? Poof. party. Why? Why?
Poof.
And then he's gone in a puff of smoke.
And then he goes back to being completely depressed and monosyllabic after that.
He just answered yes and no to the Mexican pimp.
No.
The Mexican pimp gave up and he said, you are no fun.
I take my drink.
I pour it for you.
I drink my drink.
Goodbye.
You do not need anymore. You do not my drink. I pour it for you. I drink my drink. Goodbye. You do not need anymore.
You do not need drink.
Notice I didn't say he poured him a drink.
I think he said he came up and he said, maybe I skipped a drink on this one.
You smell like a drink.
All of the others I poured a drink this one.
Maybe bad idea.
You smell like you have problem.
I'm glad I have my gun with me.
What this man.
I'm glad they have my gun with me for this man.
So Pierre Martinet, who is the president of the Federation of some horse shit, the Intergalactic Federation of Wrestling, whatever the hell, said, quote, I have known Mark for 12 years.
I often saw him with Chantel, who was very proud of him.
I never noticed problems between them and I never personally saw him drunk. But it is clear that is clear that his recent lack of activity has tended to incite him to drink.
Oh, Pierre.
You silver-haired son of a bitch.
You moron.
You silver-haired asshole.
For sure.
And the silver continues.
His friend Jean-Francois Tordeau with the hotel that he drank coffee with for two and a half hours with, he says, quote,
He was a man with no limits.
He did everything with passion.
In a way, I think there was love in what he did.
Killing her, I mean.
At least there wasn't evil.
I think what happened was the result of an accumulation of years of unexpressed emotions.
He needed affection.
He needed his friends.
But equally, he did not show his emotions.
He was this giant iceberg, and we only saw the tip of him.
As a friend, I feel like I should have been more sensitive to the pain under the surface.
Jean-Francois.
Dude.
He had all kinds of affection from 17-year-old girls, you fucking idiot.
You just want to sit that guy down and go, bro, seriously.
Come on.
Stop being such a friend.
Get the fuck out of here.
He's a jerk-off grown man that knew he had a fucking problem.
His wife told him he had a problem.
His in-laws told him he had a problem.
Everybody, his fucking friends, bad, bad.
He knows he had a goddamn problem.
You got him wasted that day.
Jesus Christ.
So we have a different take.
This is what I mean from the men and the women differently here.
Here's a take from a woman, and I love this woman because she's brilliant and ballsy.
I love her.
This is Tordo's wife, Pascale.
She says, and this is from what I understand, from what I've been led to believe here,
this is what most of the wives, the rugby wives, they shared this view of him.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Here is her quote.
Quote, he was a drunk.
End of story.
He drank, he screwed, and he always got away with it because he was Marc Cécilan.
That's what 20 years of alcohol does to you.
Little by little, it destroys you.
Marc could not cope with his life.
When you kill your wife, you are killing your life.
She's not wrong.
That's a new catchphrase.
You know that.
Happy wife, happy life.
Now you got to kill your wife, kill your life.
That's the French asshole athlete version of that.
I don't know.
Kill your wife, kill your life.
That's beautiful.
That's what they say all over the place, all over in prisons here.
Chantel's brother, once he found out about the whole thing.
Oh, I'm sure he had some shit to say.
He did.
They were very forgiving, this family.
Really?
The parents were like, you know, we like him.
He's a good man.
They said that.
He just killed your daughter.
Yeah.
He's not a good man.
He's a jackass.
Like, hard, too.
Like, really viciously.
Yeah.
He's not even like Carlos Monzon, where it's like, oh, was it an accident?
Maybe.
He said it was an accident.
Maybe they fell over the balcony.
Check out Carlos Monzon.
It's like it's episode 34.
He's a boxer who killed his wife.
He was a piece of shit.
He was a real piece of shit.
That was a wild one.
That one was fun.
Totally crazy one.
But I mean, it's not even like that.
There were 60 people at the party.
Literally 60 people watched him shoot his wife.
He was gone.
It was over.
And then he spins around on a dime and just takes...
In front of 60 people.
It's crazy.
There's no denying.
No. There's no anything on that. It's just culpability. It's crazy. There's no denying. No.
There's no anything on that.
It's just culpability.
It's all you, man.
Chantel's brother said, quote, I knew this would all end badly.
Mark was getting crazier and no one knew how to stop him.
So, I mean, they saw this shit coming.
He says, wow, on why he did it.
We have an in their own word.
We have several in their own words on him trying to make sense of this.
In their own words, quote, I wanted my wife to come back with me.
I wanted the two of us to leave together.
Why did I shoot?
It is a question I shall ask myself all my life.
I didn't plan anything.
I wish I could understand.
You didn't plan anything, but you brought a gun, bro.
I went home and brought a gun and came back with it.
You planned a lot.
It took him a half hour to leave and come back, so that's at least a half hour of planning. From the first time
you walked away, that's when the plan
started. You got home to an empty house
because the girls were at a babysitter,
obviously. You got home to an empty house and
thought, I'm going back and I'm taking
my gun. I'm taking the gun. That's the plan.
And then he pretends. He didn't just walk in
and start shooting. He walked in, talked to
the guy who punched him, apologized,
pretended everything was fine so he could get his wife
to relax and be sitting there
and no one would jump in front of him. Sitting duck.
Insane. So the town
that he's from here, the
Bourgogne, the town
is just an entire town
full of silver-haired middle-aged white men.
Most of the town is defending him.
They don't want, some, basically
they still don't want to see him as anything but a hero.
Yeah.
They're like, well, yeah, but he's still the best thing ever and I still love him and he's still a hero.
One man – there was a French reporter interviewing people in like the main cafe in town.
This is to get just the town's general deal.
One man said, quote, it takes guts to shoot your wife.
That's how he defended him.
That's a guy that does not like his wife.
And he's like, I just don't have the guts to kill her.
He really loves this guy.
He's an athlete.
It takes guts.
Don't talk bad about him.
Hey, that takes guts too, you know.
It's basically split along the lines of men and women, basically.
A woman sitting near him said, Mark was a madman.
If he came anywhere near you, there would be trouble.
That was what she said.
So that's the men and women looked at him quite differently, you know, as can be imagined.
I see that woman like interrupting the guy.
That's why his statement was so short, saying it takes guts to kill him.
And then she spun around.
He's a madman.
He's a madman.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Yeah, it said she was sitting nearby.
She said, what are you doing, fucking asshole? Has he grabbed your pussy? No, he grabbed mine madman. He's a madman. What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, it said she was sitting nearby. She said, what are you doing, fucking asshole?
Has he grabbed your pussy?
No, he grabbed mine.
So stop it.
That's what I'm saying here.
My daughter's 17.
He tried to fuck her.
Yeah.
So later that year, a few months after the incident, his father dies.
Oh.
And his mother, Solange is her name, is convinced that it's because Mark wouldn't tell them
about his problems.
She says, quote,
My husband died of a broken heart. A few months
after the drama, he died unable to understand
why Mark couldn't tell us
the things that were going wrong. We didn't
know that he wasn't eating properly,
that he was smoking and drinking. We learned about it
after the event. They didn't know?
They didn't know. He's been drinking for 30 years.
They had no idea. I don't know.
That's 30 Christmases he showed up to, drunk, piss drunk, hammered, stinking. Like, hey, he's been drinking for 30 years. They had no idea. I don't know. That's 30 Christmases he showed up to, drunk, piss drunk.
Hammered.
Stinking.
Like, hey, he parties.
He's a rugby player.
He's fine.
Everyone loves him.
That's what I mean.
These guys who have this fame, everyone goes, well, just don't say anything because then
maybe he won't want to hang out with you when he's famous and we need to have him here.
And real quickly, French people, you all smoke, first of all.
Yeah, everyone smokes and drinks.
And smoking doesn't fuck your brain up.
No, and drinking.
They were just looking for something here.
They're just grasping for a reason for this to have happened.
Yeah.
Now, a couple years later, November 8th, 2006, the thing is finally in court.
Mark tells the court that he still loved his wife, but shot her during an alcohol-fueled depression he was suffering ever since his retirement.
He says he should have dealt with the psychological problems
before he lashed out, but
he thinks that he only brought
the gun because he wanted to intimidate Chantel.
So what he said is, do you guys
know what selling AstroTurf will
do to a man? What the fuck?
It will crush your soul.
Have you sold a suite before?
Fuck you. That's the result.
Turf sucks. It's not even a good product. Have you ever played on shit? I gotta. That's the result. Turf sucks.
It's not even a good product.
Have you ever played on shit?
I got to tell people, no, no, it feels just like grass.
It doesn't feel like grass.
Do you understand that?
How many times you can fucking lie to people about grass before you just want to snap?
You know what this is like.
Drink 12 scotches and shoot your wife.
God damn it.
Now, at the trial, we have an in their own words here from Mark about the whole thing here. He says, quote, I admit today that I fell into alcoholism whilst being totally wrapped up in my own little bubble.
I exploded without knowing why.
I always loved my wife and I love her still.
I should have spoken up.
Today, I realize this because of the 27 months I've spent in prison, which have allowed me to think and work on myself.
Well, good for you.
Maybe another 27 more years and I'm satisfied.
I've been here about two years, so I think I'm all better from shooting my wife.
I think I'm good now.
I don't know.
I'm good now.
I'm good now.
No, no.
I shot my wife with a.357 four times in front of 60 people, but that's fine.
Come on.
I got my ball away.
I'm fine now.
He's a real scrum bag.
He's a scrum bag, you motherfucker.
You're not in any way.
You bastard.
Scrum bag.
So, I love it.
So, November 10th, 2006, Mark is found guilty of murder.
Big shocker.
Thank God.
60 people watched him do it.
The jury had a lesser option.
They had an option of finding him guilty of a lesser charge of involuntary manslaughter.
And they said, no, no, murder.
Good.
Sorry.
I applaud you, friends, for the first time.
He almost got tried as an assassin, which would have been a totally different classification
in France.
That would have been like a hardcore deal.
But he didn't.
They ended up trying to buy murder.
We don't have that here, do we?
No, we don't have some.
It's all murder.
We have some sort of terrorist, whatever, if you're an assassin.
We'll charge you with that shit.
So, yeah, they were a victim of murder.
His lawyers plea for leniency. They cite his his alcoholism saying it was a crime of passion they say he's depressed prosecutors are asking for 15 years in prison for this they want 15 years
um during the summation that's pretty light that's kind of light for shooting your wife in public
four times in front of 60 people.
No, no, no.
France crime of passion is a big deal.
Literally, that means something there.
We're here.
It's like, well, get your shit together.
Get your passion together and put it in your pocket, asshole.
They're like, well, passion.
Dov Davidoff has a great joke about crimes of fashion.
It's the most hysterical thing in the world.
Just look him up on YouTube.
It's a great joke.
Funny anyway.
Watch Dov Davidoff. He's hilarious. It's a great show. He's funny anyway. He washed off David off.
He's hilarious.
It's a hilarious joke, though.
So during the summation, prosecutor Francois Perrin Dubois said that Mark did not act in the spur of the moment, but he had planned to kill his wife.
Mark's 26-year-old daughter, Angelique, testified begging for leniency.
What?
Trying to help.
She had not talked to him since the murder.
So it had been a couple years.
She helped.
She told the court, quote, I don't think my father intended to kill my mother.
Angelique, your dad's been a mess literally your entire life.
Your entire, well, she's codependent, I'm sure. She has an alcoholic father,
but she's completely codependent. She doesn't, she's just trying to make it better.
She needs some psychological care.
You know, she's make it better. I don't care. It's okay. Just let him out. I just want my dad.
Give him a drink. He'll be okay.
It's okay. Just give him some. Trust me want my dad. Give him a drink. He'll be okay. It's okay. Just give him some. Trust me.
He gets better then.
It's what it is.
She begged for the jury's mercy, saying that she missed both her parents and that her father
had been punished enough already.
Already?
Really?
He's been in jail for fucking two years for five point blank shots with a.357.
That's not punishment.
Sorry.
He's still alive.
Fuck you.
Yeah.
Angelique said to him, quote, I will never forgive you, but I still love you.
Now, his daughter, Celine, was not quite
as nice to him about it. That a girl.
Daughter Celine said, quote, why did you do it?
I will never forgive you. I have lost my mother.
Which makes sense. That's the right
response. That's the right one.
Mark is given 20 years.
Nice. You, sir, may
fuck off. For sure. Because that is five years
more than the prosecutor asked for.
So they're making a fucking point about that.
That is a definite fuck off.
We have an in their own words on the sentence.
And hold on.
He is in what year was it that he was convicted?
2006.
2006.
So he's 47.
Almost 50.
Yeah.
He's 47 then.
And then he's got 20 years on top of that.
So he's going until he's almost 70.
It's rough.
Well, we'll see what happens. Let's see. You think he's going to be in jail for 20 years on top of that. So he's going until he's almost 70. It's rough. Well, we'll see what happens.
Let's see.
You think he's going to be in jail for 20 years, guys?
God, I hope so.
Crime and sports movement.
You guys have been with us for a while.
You think he's going to be in jail for 20 years in France being a hero rugby player?
I don't know.
The courts are going to run up the white flag.
In their own words on the sentence, quote, all my life, I would not care.
I will never be free in my head.
When I get out of prison, I hope I can get my daughter, Celine, back.
That's all he says.
That's all he wants here.
End quote.
That's what Celine.
Now, Celine, her mother's dead.
Yeah.
These people, their garden party was fucking ruined.
Mark's in prison.
Babette got corkscrewed.
Babette got corkscrewed.
Christian realized he's a pussy with a bad punch.
Mark's ball has not seen the light of day in two goddamn years.
There's dead people.
Alexander couldn't tackle a guy.
I feel bad for all these people, Jimmy, but not nearly.
You found people with this fucked up name.
I found one person in the entire world that has this similar.
It's Jean-Marc Cécelon.
But it's the same name just with a Jean in front of it.
He lives in St. Bartholomew du Bois-Rapert in Rhone Alps, France, which is exactly where he's from.
When was he born?
It's not the same guy.
I get that, but he was likely named after him.
That's very possible because he is from that area.
He is from the Rhone Alps area, so I feel bad for that guy.
What if that's the illegitimate child?
We'll get into that.
Okay.
What do you think?
I'm going to bring up an illegitimate child three times, leave it fucking hanging on the
vine, Jimmy?
Come on.
Come on now.
This is episode 51.
That would be awesome.
No one better than that.
If he was a junior.
No.
All right.
So Pierre Martinet, again, says about the whole thing, quote, if those of us who knew Mark put our hands to our hearts, we'd have to admit that there were problems with alcohol and giving up playing.
Yeah.
But no one had the full story.
No one really knew what went on at home.
It was too easy.
It's too easy to be wise after the event.
Yeah, silver-haired asshole.
Go fuck yourself.
Now, he's in prison.
Now, he meets a woman in prison.
What?
That's an eligible bachelor.
Guy shoots his wife.
Hey, he's available now.
Let's get on.
He's a national hero.
So they exchange letters in prison.
It's one of those prison pen pal deals.
Meets this woman.
We never find out her name.
He keeps it secret, which is weird.
March 12th, 2008, Mark is appealing a sentence.
This is his appeal.
His lawyer, Eric Dupin Moretti, pleaded to his lack of premeditation.
Said it was he just, he snapped.
He's drunk and he snapped.
to his lack of premeditation.
He said, he just snapped.
He's drunk and he snapped.
Said, quote, then he tried to actually, in court, over here this would never work.
I don't know what it is.
In court, he tried to play the part, but he's such an important rugby star.
It's bad for society for him to be in jail. I'll bet Aaron Hernandez doesn't get that card play.
No, no, no, no.
He said, quote, it is not good that the heroes fall to the ground.
That's what he said.
And the sentence is reduced from 20 years to 14 years.
What?
Reduced the goddamn sentence from 20 to 14 years.
By six years?
Yeah.
One less than the prosecutor wanted.
Wow.
October 2010, he marries his girlfriend in jail.
She comes in and marries him.
Conjugals?
Gotta get them.
I'm sure. It's France. to get them. I'm sure.
It's France.
They fuck everywhere, I'm sure.
I'm sure you're allowed to drink wine and fuck no matter what's wrong with you.
That word, by the way, if you look it up in the dictionary, it's like agreement to whatever.
It's perfect.
It's not because the definition for that word is prison fucking because you've never used that word.
It's fucking in a makeshift trailer.
I think that's what that should be.
You've never used that word for anything other than a woman goes to a prison and fucks an inmate.
That's a good point.
I've never used that word.
Nobody's ever used that word for anything else.
We've reserved that word only for that.
That's what it's for.
For prison fucking.
Prison fucking.
Get him some prison fucking.
So he's in jail.
Now he's been in since 2004.
He had his sentence reduced to 14 years.
So on July 15, 2011, they let him out of jail.
What?
Seven years.
That's half his 14-year sentence.
That's what they give him.
That motherfucker is out.
They let that son of a bitch out.
He's released on probation.
It's a conditional probation.
He is banned from associating with any
former rugby friends. He literally is not allowed
to hang out with anyone who played rugby.
That's a pretty cool sentence. It's pretty funny.
And he is banned from
traveling to the Roan Alps region,
which will continue
indefinitely past his... Keep
fucking off, then. Yeah, keep fucking off.
We do not want you here. Stay out of home. He literally got
like an old southern town. He got kicked. You know what? Don't you do not want you here. Stay out of home. He literally got like an old southern town.
He got kicked.
You know what?
Don't you come back now here.
He got banished.
You get to the county line and get across it.
Don't let me see you coming around here again.
He got like Roscoe P. Coltrane ran him out of hazard over here.
Fucking ridiculous.
Out of hazard.
He did, man.
Oh, Jesus.
So this will continue past the probation.
He's never allowed back to his home area, which is funny because that's where the other Jean-Marc says he's from.
He's like, please stay away.
Yes, I'm going to watch you here.
Now, he begins working for an organic wine company producer like Vineyards in Ben-U.
I fucking give up.
I swear to God.
Ben-U's.
I don't.
That's the.
Fuck me. God damn it. Yes.'t. That's the. Fuck me.
God damn it.
Yes.
There.
It's my last bad pronunciation.
He maintains the vines.
How funny is that that he walked right past vines to go kill his wife and that's how he's
dealing.
He maintains vines.
He loves it apparently.
This is like apparently it's not like a migrant farm worker job to maintain the vines.
It's like a specialty.
Whatever. He works 5 a.m. to to maintain the vines. It's like a specialty thing.
It's a whatever.
He works 5 a.m. to noon in the summer.
French wines, by the way, are fucking incredible.
They're so good.
They're the ones that... God, they're so good.
Well, yeah, man.
They know what they're doing with the wine.
That's their thing that they do.
That's their thing.
They do that.
They do that and grow armpit hair.
And they're better at wine.
He works 7 a.m. to 2.30 the rest of the year.
He lives with the woman he met in prison, his wife, obviously.
He wants to see his daughters.
That's a brave woman.
That is a brave woman.
Holy shit, is she brave.
Maybe she knows how to keep the booze out of his hand.
I mean, that's it.
In January 2014, he sues his daughters.
He sues Celine and Angelique.
He's a special scrumbag.
Well, for mismanaging his funds during imprisonment.
Who gives a shit?
Now, this is how this works.
When the wife was dead, that means at that point it's a 50-50.
She's gone, so the property is going to be split 50-50, but he can't retain any of her half.
That goes to the kids.
And also his 50% interest in things went to his kids to control while he was in jail.
He's not allowed to do it while he's in jail.
So basically, they spend it all.
He's saying that the daughters mismanaged his assets while in prison, especially, quote, in regards to collection of rents on apartment rentals.
Apparently, he's got a bunch of buildings and stuff like that.
And they weren't keeping up on it.
They weren't collecting his rent.
They were super pissed off.
They were quotes from them.
Like they often court. They're like literally his rent. They were super pissed off. The quotes from them, like, off in court, they're like
literally like, you killed my fucking mother
and then so we took care of your money
the best we could and we didn't do a
good enough job and so this is the thanks we
get? Go fuck yourself. You take your daughters to court?
How about try to get fucking in our
lives again? I want to meet these girls.
How about try to get forgiveness for killing
our mother and sue us? So
on April 13, 2014, the court case settles with the daughters.
It's not public of what the settlement is, but it gets all work mutually resolved is the way they put it.
Now, January 30, 2015, an up-and-coming French soccer star or rugby star, I'm sorry, for Race Metro is the name of the team.
He's the center on the team.
Alexander Dumoulin announces that he is the biological son of Marc Cezanne.
What?
Yeah.
His wife's going to fucking kill him.
Oh, wait, never mind.
Maybe that's why.
He's like, he dodged a bullet on that one.
That was going to get my ass kicked.
The kid found out when he was 17.
This is the 1989 kid.
He's 26 in 2015.
That lady wasn't lying.
That's his son.
He's known about it, like I said, since he was 17 years old,
but never just didn't want to announce it publicly,
probably because when he found out about it,
his father was fucking in prison.
Literally found out about it when he was convicted.
He found out about 2006, which is when he was convicted.
Oh, that's my dad.
I'm going to Google him.
Oh, let's not talk about that guy.
See that guy on TV?
Shot his wife a whole bunch of times?
That's your dad.
That's your dad.
That's your pa.
Unbelievable.
So, yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Hey, dad.
There he is.
I'll go visit him in prison.
Apparently, he grew up with a mother and a stepfather and everything was fine.
He said he had a great upbringing.
France's coach, Philippe Saint-Andre, this is silver-haired as shit here.
That's a silver-haired name.
He says, quote, Alexander wished to speak on the subject to close any debate.
You have to respect his approach.
Let him build his life, including his rugby playing career.
His name is Alexander Dumoulin.
Dumoulin, whatever.
Yes, like I said. It's not
his last name. It's not his last, whatever the
fuck. But he's saying that's, he's
not Mark's kid. He's who he
is, not who that guy is. Exactly.
Alexander's agent also, this kid doesn't
speak for himself. There's literally no quotes from
him. It's from his agents, from his coach. Yeah, he's like,
get my silver hair middle-aged white man to talk about this shit.
He says, his agent says, quote, for him, there was no before and after he learned it.
There has never been a physical encounter between them nor an attempt.
No texting, no mail either.
But that does not mean they will never meet.
Keep the door open.
In 2016, Mark, there's an article on Mark talking about where he is and what he's doing in his life.
A follow-up. Yeah, and he is and what he's doing in his life.
A follow up.
Yeah.
And he says that.
And it's like fluff piece.
It's fluff piece.
He's living a good life now.
Good for him.
I'm glad he's happy with his new wife and his vineyard.
That's literally what the fucking articles are.
Because they love him.
And he's not even thinking about.
I guarantee it's just all gone.
It's all in the past.
He doesn't know.
Doesn't give a shit.
He's done.
So he announces then that he wants to regain contact with his daughters again.
He says it publicly and also wants to have contact with his son, with Alexander.
He's like, my daughters won't fucking talk to me.
Maybe I can get this kid to talk to me for a while.
I don't know.
So we have a – he's living – I'm sorry.
He's living in Collor near the Spain border.
That's what it says.
I don't know. But that's where the Spain border. That's what it says. I don't know.
But that's where he is now.
It's a nice region.
It's about 500 kilometers from his home area there, the Rhone Alps area.
And to close this out on him, we have an in their own words here from him about the whole thing.
Oh, boy.
This should be rich as fuck.
Yep.
This is about the – he's talking about after he was released And this is set in 2016. This is from May of 2016.
He says, quote, in their own words, quote, I will never forget.
It is something that is in me that will follow me to the end.
It's called a memory, asshole.
Every month I had to go to the penitentiary service for integration and probation.
I had to take the pay slips, go see the shrink.
If you do not fit in, you can go back to prison.
You still have the sword of Damocles
over your head. Now, two things.
Two things. Number one,
when he's saying at first,
it is in me and it'll follow me to the end, I thought
he meant the guilt of shooting his fucking
wife and killing her. That's what I thought
he meant. No, he meant
the pain in the ass of
going to the probation of to go into the
probation office and showing them pay slips that's what he fucking said what a dick and one thing i
have to give him credit for i will say this in all of the 51 episodes we've probably done 500 in
their own words yeah i have never ever ever in any of those heard one of our idiot athletes
reference the sword of damocles. So I'll give him that.
I'll give him that.
You got that, Mark.
You know what?
The sword of Damocles.
You got that.
You're not a fucking, and he dropped out of school when he was 14, so good for you.
Yeah, it's pretty impressive.
You read a couple of books while you were hammered at two in the morning.
I never have that reference in my fucking repertoire ever.
You never have that locked and loaded, ready to go?
This guy's handing out quotes like that.
He's fucking nuts, man.
That's something.
That goes to show you I think the French school systems are probably a little bit better that you'd learn that shit by 14.
I'm not sure, but God, that is Marc Cécilon.
He's out there to reviolate.
He's out there.
He might kill this one.
Who the fuck knows?
He's out there near Spain.
He's out there.
Watch out.
If you're near the Spain border, watch out.
Stay out of his way. Don't buy organic wine. He might have diddled the grapes. If you're near the Spain border, watch out. Stay out of his way.
Don't buy organic wine.
He might have diddled the grapes.
You never know.
His ball could have rubbed on him.
It's out, guys.
It's out.
Watch out.
So that is him.
Holy shit.
What a disaster.
Thank you for going on that ride with us, guys.
That was a fun one.
This is a ride for me.
I know nothing about France.
I know nothing about rugby.
I know nothing about any of that.
But we're going to do shout-outs here.
Definitely.
Before we get to shout-outs, first of all, just want to remind you guys again, please, please rate and review on iTunes.
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It's a lot of work, and we're doing this every week.
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comments of us being good looking fucking don't stop those i don't know what you're thinking but
yeah that fixes everything in my life i get i get what it's like to be a woman when she's like
bought drinks and shit and told she has a hot ass like that feels so good yeah well i get that it
sucks to get it all the time and it's fucking them yeah it's terrible out of all the people listening, one of them has to find somebody, one of us attractive.
When women say it to dudes, it's awesome.
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If you want to get a hold of us there, all the main deals there.
And then we're going to do some shout outs.
If you do any of those things, we'll give you one of these shout outs from Jimmy
here you go Kelly Tudor is a new
listener from the group
podcast group and she
she commented that
this shit should be piped
into recovering recovery centers
we've heard that a few times
that's hysterical we've heard a bunch we have
there's a lot of recovering addicts
that listen to the show, alcoholics and
drug addicts, that say like
holy shit. This would be so helpful
to people. This was helpful. They really
do. I don't know what it is. It's some kind of dog
whistle we have to people who have been through
rehab. I dig it. Jude
Maiston in, I forget, he's
overseas somewhere. Katie Batchelor,
Mark June Wells,
Cammie Rock. She's in Georgia, I believe.
I'm at I'm Kylo.
I don't know if it's Kylo or Kilo, but that guy's awesome.
And Kiora Kiora in Ireland.
That guy's fucking amazing.
He's so great.
I saw his post.
Rob Bridgewater, Jeanette Kozad.
We've said her name a few times, but she's a very sweet lady.
Randy Allen.
My favorite review on iTunes this week
was from Jay to the No
who said she was very offended
by the sexist shit
which is probably mostly on my part.
But she sticks around because she adores it.
So we adore you.
Thank you so, so much. We're never trying to be
sexist. No, we're not trying.
We're trying to be funny.
All of this is all jokes, guys.
Scott Caprone, Carl English, Ginger Tabor, Richard Hopkins, we worship you.
He said that.
He said.
That's his man.
Thank you.
He said, I'm doing a review now, so worship me.
So we worship you.
We're back at you, buddy.
Zoran Vasilic.
And if you want to see me live doing comedy, I will be at the San Jose Improv with Jesse
May Peluso, April 17th.
Or April.
That'd be a long ways off.
We'll kind of fucking promote.
I was going to say, we have a date in March.
Why don't you promote that?
February 17th through the 19th up at the San Jose Improv.
So if you're in the area, come by.
If you are in the area and would like to come by, I'm going to give away a few tickets.
So tweet at me if you want to come or find me on Facebook.
Also, guys, we're going to be looking at doing live shows over the course of this year.
So we would like to know where you guys are.
If you are a person who would actually go leave your house and come to a venue to pay
money to watch us do something funny for this, please drop us an email at
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Tell us where you live.
We want to try to find out where the areas are.
We know where our listens are.
We want to know where people really would come.
London is right now top on our list.
London is our number one city, always our number one city.
Every month, every week.
We get so much support from the uk and honestly from the us
too and from australia ireland canada germany all these countries we really do south africa
new zealand but if we're going to get on a flight to go somewhere we need to know where you're at
yeah we like in terms of like we get new york city a lot but yeah fucking where at in new york city
i mean there's there's that's that's out of eight million people you're bound to hit a decent number
you know what i mean so london's huge too you're bound to hit a decent number. You know what I mean?
And London's huge, too.
But still, the numbers in London are really wild.
So please, guys, do that.
And we're going to keep bringing you this show every single week like we always do.
We love it so much.
Please also remember to subscribe to Small Town Murder and give that a try because that's a lot of fun.
And then on Twitter, that one is at Murder Small.
At Murder Small.
And you can find it on iTunes and all that.
Jimmy, you want to hit them with your social media?
Yeah, at Wismansucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N sucks.
That's on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat.
And I am at Jimmy P is funny, or James Petrogallo, if you want to find me on the other ones.
And good luck with that.
Friend me and call me a cunt, like we say.
At Crime and Sports is the easiest one.
And both of our names are on there, so you can find us pretty easy.
Find us, friend us, we'll say hello.
We'll all be buddies
and friends.
I love it.
That's it for this week.
We cannot wait
to bring you next week's show.
Next week is a little
football special
because it'll be
right after the championship games
and two weeks before
the Super Bowl
and we have one of the
craziest stories ever.
Ever.
It is just crime,
stupidity,
testifying before Congress about your stupidity it's
this story i it's unbelievable cocaine and a tumor saying he had a tumor saying that it caused it's
insane i can't even get into it guys and then also to our anniversary show coming up like we
told you about in mid-february fucking We have a serial killer. We have killers.
We have awful rapists and horrible people and drug addicts.
We have it all coming for you.
Keep coming back every single week live from the crime and sports studios.
We'll see you next week.
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