Crime in Sports - #69 - A Menace Of Ground & Sky - The Manicness of Alonzo Spellman
Episode Date: May 23, 2017This week, we check out a story full of twists, turns, and bumps, all of which lead to disaster, and many, many arrests. His body matured much faster than his brain, causing him, and everyone... around him nothing but problems. He had a standoff with the SWAT team, broke up knife fights between women in his entourage, was brought up on federal charges, after terrorizing over 130 people on a domestic flight... And that's just the tip of the iceberg. It's truly a story of a man's epic unravelling. Hilarious! Throw away your opportunities, threaten your pilot's life, and never, ever take your medication with Alonzo Spellman!! Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman New episodes every Tuesday!!Please subscribe, rate, and review!Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts!Head to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things Crime in Sports!For merchandise: crimeinsports.threadless.comCheck out James and Jimmie's other show: Small Town Murder Follow us on social media!Facebook: facebook.com/crimeinsportsInstagram: instagram.com/smalltownmurderTwitter: twitter.com/MurderSmall Contact the show: crimeinsports@gmail.comDonate on Patreon: patreon.com/crimeinsportsPayPal: paypal.me/crimeinsports See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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The Queen of the Courtroom is back.
How did I know that? i have crystal ball in my head
new cases leave her a long so uh this is not a so this is a period classic judy it's streaming
you can say anything it's an all-new season judy justice only on freebie Hello and welcome back to Crime and Sports.
Yay!
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I'm excited.
I'm so pumped.
My name is James Petrogallo.
I'm here with my co-host.
The very excitable Jimmy Wissman.
We're pumped today, guys.
Hell yeah.
Because we have a wild one for you.
We have a wild one.
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Also, quickly, this week, this Thursday through Friday at the Tempe Improv, you can come see me open for John Reap.
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Jimmy, you bastard.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Yeah, man.
Go see him.
Go see him.
Go see him.
We have a lot of crazy this week, man.
We have a whole bunch of crazy.
Hope you enjoyed last week's crazy.
What the fuck?
Purtle Fox.
And I think Ricky Wayne was really the star of that show last week.
Ricky Wayne was the star and the co-star of the dense, hard shits flying through walls.
Oh, my God.
What the fuck?
That is, I'm telling you, that world of bodybuilding is the weirdest.
So fascinating.
Weirdest.
Most fascinating, strange world.
Homorotic, weird shit.
It's so odd.
You have to be at least a little bit into dudes to
stand next to them and then judge
them on their physique and tell them
yeah dude you totally got it. We don't give a shit
who you have sex with. That's
on you. We don't care.
Exactly. And it will
be on you. Especially
with one of those guys.
So you know but it's just
the funniest thing to me is when guys
who are super, like, macho and masculine
are really super gay and they don't realize it,
that's the funniest thing in the world
because if you told them, their heads would explode.
That's why it's so funny
because it's like that would scare the shit out of them
and it's like, you're clearly homosexual.
I know a couple that I'm pretty sure.
And you know one, too.
I'm not going to say it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's true.
You know one that I know and I'd love'm pretty sure. And you know one, too. I'm not going to say it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's true. It's true.
You know one that I know.
Yeah, they're out there.
And I'd love to just blurt it out and be like, you know it.
And you'd be like, you would agree.
Just admit it.
Come on.
It's fine.
We'll all still be your friends.
Yeah.
Fine.
I'll be more of a friend with you.
Yeah, because you're honest with me.
Right, because then you're being up front.
I'd rather you be gay and honest than pretend to be straight for my benefit.
I'm not benefiting in this situation. It's be straight for my benefit. I'm not.
I'm not benefiting.
No, it's not doing me anything.
It's not helping me at all.
I got to tell you right now.
So let's get into our, our, oh man, this is a, this week's episode is, I, this is one
of those episodes where I was like, yeah, this guy did one or two things.
Let me look him up.
And it was like, well, what is this?
What?
Why?
How did I not hear about it?
What happened?
This is insanity.
It's one of those cases where you're going to go, how did I not know this off the top of my head?
This is the new Vernon Maxwell.
This is very much, this is if Vernon Maxwell and Ike Ibeabuchi had a love triangle.
Oh, fantastic.
He would be this man.
He would be Alonzo Spellman.
Alonzo Robert Spellman, as a matter of fact.
An NFL football player.
He'll get back to a sport that we're comfortable with this week.
Away from water polo and goddamn rugby and bodybuilding and all these sports that I don't know jack shit about.
We're back in our wheelhouse this week.
He's born September 27th, 1971.
It was the cauldron of crazy.
That's when it started bubbling up.
He's born in Mount Holly Township, New Jersey.
It's in the Philly suburbs.
It's about 20 minutes outside of Philadelphia.
It was like a nice small town, and then it started to decline in the 60s and 70s.
What I was reading was all the strip malls in Philly basically destroyed all of the commerce
and all the stores in that area, took all the business away.
And that just became the blueprint for America's commerce?
That's exactly what this is.
This is the early 70s.
That's where it started.
This is when this shit started happening.
And all these small towns that were kind of suburbs started to die like that.
Okay.
And so it kind of turned into there's a lot of projects.
And it turns into a pretty ghetto in this area.
You've got to put a dick sporting good in every municipality, in every fucking town you've got.
Definitely.
It's crazy, right?
Like in Phoenix here, we've got seven different townships, essentially, I guess.
Seven?
Like Glendale, Scottsdale, Mesa.
And every one of them has a little strip area, an outdoor mall that has the same shit.
Yeah, it's the same bullshit.
A Ross, a Joanne's, a fucking, some sort of sports bar.
What's that stupid Hawaiian themed restaurant
or whatever?
The fucking burger place?
Kona Grill
or some bullshit like that.
Some garbage.
And every town's got the same shit.
There's a cheesecake factory
and a Dick's Sporting Good.
Every one of them has it.
Oh, that ruins towns like this.
So it started to really turn into
a shithole in the 70s.
Good luck for Alonzo
because he's born in 71
and grows up there.
So tough for him
growing up in this shithole area.
His father is in and out of the house and eventually just leaves.
And he has five brothers and sisters.
So this is six kids, father gone, shitty area.
His mother, Dorothy, she tried her best to keep it together.
This is one of those women where I'm like, man, this is a strong lady.
She pays the bills and raises six kids working at a local fish hatchery.
That's what she's doing.
She's coming home reeking of fish every night so she can put goddamn food on the table.
What a brutal life.
That's brutal.
But that's a good mother, though.
She's a good parent.
Never a mother, father, whatever.
She's stuck around and took care of the goddamn kids.
She didn't just run away, which is good for her, goddamn it.
She even sees that Alonzo is, he's just a, his body outgrows his brain.
He's a monster of a human being.
That's a good, that's a good, what you just said sums up so many of these fucking guys.
Yeah, that's, that's this guy.
I mean, she could tell immediately when he was a child, like, oh boy, we got to get him
in sports.
That's going to be a bouncer or a lineman.
Yeah.
He's athletic and everything.
She enrolled him.
Dorothy enrolled him in kindergarten when he was four.
So he went to school early.
Yeah.
Somehow he got to go early.
So he's always a year early.
His birth may have been in that point where just on that edge.
Well, yeah. It's usually five, though. His birthday may have been in that point where just on that edge. Well, yeah.
It's usually five, though.
Yeah, it's usually five.
He was in kindergarten at four.
And it makes sense because when he's drafted, as we'll talk about later, he's like the youngest person in years to be drafted.
No, no, no, not that young.
But he's so he's four.
He's in kindergarten. By the time he's 10, he's in a gang because he's 10, but he's already six foot.
Yeah.
And he's already a big kid.
He's beating a 24 year old. Yeah. He's already a big kid. He's beating a 24-year-old.
Yeah, he's already a big kid, and they're like, shit, he probably looked 15.
So they were like, yeah, come join our gang, whatever.
So I don't know if that was the pitch.
Hey, buddy, hey, pal, want to join a gang?
Hey there, fella.
He's flipping a nickel.
He's like, want to join a gang, pal?
Do you hate the coppers too, see?
Jesus.
We're going to fight the third street rollers at the end of the week.
It's going to be a rumble.
Here, have a smoke, kid.
Here, have a smoke, kid.
Of course I want cigarettes on that.
So yes, he's in a gang.
He is in the projects he grows up in are called the gardens in Mount Holly.
He's in a gang before he finishes grammar school.
Now, this is 12 years old.
He is apparently sleeping with grown married women.
Apparently, he's already full grown at 12 years old.
He's already over six feet tall and the size of a man.
He's hanging out with gangsters.
He's probably hanging out with gangsters.
You're going to see real women.
Yeah.
He's having sex with neighbor women.
Wow.
Like grown 35-year-old neighbor women.
12 years old, running the block.
Running the block.
He's got quite the life already, and this keeps up.
I don't know if anything happened to him when he was younger, too, because he's ambiguous in certain things.
I feel like something bad happened to him from the age of—
I mean, no dad living in a shitty area of Philly, and he's in gangs? I feel like something sexual bad happened to him. the age of- You think? I mean, no dad living in a shitty area of Philly and he's in gangs?
I feel like something sexual bad happened to him.
I imagine you're right.
So I'm going to say something weird happened to him.
Yeah.
Now, as big as he is, he gets into high school.
He goes to Rancocas Valley High School, which is actually where Franco Harris went to high
school.
No shit.
The Hall of Fame Pittsburgh Steel running back went there.
So that's like the idol of the school is Franco Harris, obviously, especially in the 80s when he had just retired and had a bunch of Super Bowl rings.
Super Bowl rings glistening.
Now, Alonzo has no interest in football.
Really?
He doesn't want to play football.
He's a great basketball player.
Okay.
Really good basketball player.
He led the high school.
He has a single game rebounding record.
And he only wanted to play football if he could play fullback.
Really?
He didn't want to play defense or offensive line.
He's like six foot four, you know, 240 pounds.
They're like, you're not playing fullback.
You're huge.
You're the biggest kid on the field.
You're going to go tackle people.
You'll stop seven guys from sacking the quarterback.
No one can block you.
No one can block you.
Oh, he played defense.
He's a defensive end. Oh, he's through lines no one's gonna stop you so what
they did was the coaches this this is you know you're a big kid when the coaches come you don't
even play the sport and the coaches come to your house and they're like look your son needs to play
okay like it helped yeah the high school team is scouting you yeah in 1987 they came to they came to see if he would play and uh they
said well well you know we want you to play defensive end he said no i want to play fullback
and somehow between dorothy and the coaches and whatever they talked him into signing up and
fascinating which he's gigantic and obviously made a big splash right away uh he is the he's
now he still plays basketball too he's starring in both sports. He's 6'4". He's 250.
And he has, as they measure earlier, less than 5% body fat.
What?
Yeah.
No, he is.
So he's not a fat kid.
He's just a big dude.
He's jacked.
I saw footage of him in high school.
It's ridiculous.
He looks like a monster.
His muscles.
Dude, he's got like Hulk Hogan arms.
And he's out there
throwing people aside.
You should see these kids.
Insanity, man. Kids from the Philly
suburbs just tossing around like crazy.
It's wild. And these are hardened
children from the streets of Philly.
At that point, these are probably tough kids.
He's just tossing around.
He's huge. He's a monster.
He's that big. It's huge he's a monster yeah uh he's that big it's ridiculous
as a senior he wins uh he's a 1988 usa today all america as a lineman as a line as a senior
to give you the idea they pick them from all the positions oh do they yeah yeah all america from
all the different positions oh yeah yeah that makes sense yeah they put together all america
team right so he's all america and you know's amazing. He didn't even play football a year before.
He didn't even want to play.
He was like, I want to play fullback.
A year later, All-America.
Hilarious.
It's insane.
And he was also the New Jersey Player of the Year.
The whole state.
A lot of people in New Jersey.
Literally, like 17 million people in New Jersey.
This is the opposite of what happened to Michael Jordan.
He was super good at one thing, and then he's like, I don't want to play that.
I want to play baseball.
And he fucking blew it. Yeah, that's what I mean's like, I don't want to play that. I want to play baseball. And he fucking blew it.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
But this kid doesn't want to play basketball.
He wants to play basketball, not football, but he's amazing at football.
And when he's younger, when he's playing, when he's a junior, he's only 15.
Wow.
So he's a year behind.
So he's only 15 and people like him too.
He's funny.
He's personable.
His teammates like him.
He's like a younger kid, but they're like, man, we like him.
And he's the biggest. He's a force on the field we love this fucking i mean he's killing
him on the field and and people like him off the field banging women everywhere and he's got to be
older slinging dick oh god slinging dick and 40 year old women at 15 years old like willingly
like he's searching for that yeah that's crazy yeah he's searching i'm gonna get me some strange
right now and he's going and finding that shit. Yeah, he's good.
I don't know.
I'm not fucking with these high school girls anymore.
Basketball also, the team, the basketball team goes 24 and 3, which is tremendous.
And he averages 17 points and 22 rebounds a game as a senior.
So 22 boards a game.
He could have played college basketball probably no problem.
I mean, at 6'4", he's probably not going to be a forward.
No, he's going to be a small forward at best.
But maybe he'd be like a Barkley, though, as big as he is.
He'd just be knocking people out of the way, taking those—
Just getting rebounds.
Taking those rebounds away from people.
So everything's going well right now.
I mean, he's in high school All-America in football.
He's at 17 and 22 on I'm in four in basketball.
24 and three record.
Jesus.
Life is good.
Avalanche of poo.
I was going to say avalanche of older women.
This is a great year.
But of course.
No.
Of course he's got to mess this up.
Did he get an old lady pregnant?
This is not an old lady.
This year he's got a girlfriend who's a college student, of course, because she's a woman
named Roxanne James.
And gives birth to a little girl that is most certainly his.
Yeah.
He finally also, too, he is bad at test taking.
He's not great at test taking.
He's called stupid James.
Well, I don't know if he's stupid.
He's not stupid.
He's really not.
He's more lazy.
He's smart and resourceful. He's not smart. He's really not. He's more lazy. He's street smart and resourceful.
He's not smart.
He's intelligent, though.
It's hard to get into, as we'll get into later.
He's an idiot, but he's intelligent.
He's a complete moron.
Don't get me wrong.
But he's got some-
That's what it is.
He's got the street smarts to be manipulative enough to get through life.
I don't even know if it's street smart, though.
He seems like he has a brain.
He just decides not to
use it at all we're gonna meander through the story and by the end of it i'm gonna tell you
if i think he's stupid oh he's an idiot you'll definitely say this guy's a fucking idiot but
he's not he could he didn't have to be okay no already i can tell you that he didn't have to be
an idiot that's that's my main thing here uh so he's uh so yeah he gets this girl pregnant they
have a little girl uh but like i said the test taking while he would so yeah, he gets this girl pregnant. They have a little girl. But like
I said, the test taking while he
would shoot free because he kept taking
the tests over and over again to get into college
and couldn't get the
answers exam, couldn't get the ACTs.
So when he would take free throws
in college and high school basketball,
opposing crowds would chant SAT
out.
So he was that guy.
I love sports, man.
That's the best.
He's the star athlete going out there, and they're like, SAT, SAT.
So I thought that was pretty good.
And he's a dope, and he's shooting free throws going,
why are they spelling sat, man? What are they doing?
I don't need to sat.
I'm standing.
So, yeah, he's unbelievable, right?
It's S-A-T.
I don't need to sat.
I don't need no sat.
I stand him.
Why do I need to sat?
Oh, my God.
Sports fans are fucking cruel.
They are cruel.
These are high school.
They're chanting this at a 16-year-old kid.
He's 16 years old.
They're chanting it at a 16-year-old.
That's why white kids shoot up high schools, because of shit like that.
Because people are dicks.
That's what happens here.
SAT.
SAT.
I love it.
That's great.
He has to take the ACTs, the entrance deal for college.
It takes him three tries to get a high enough score to be eligible for college.
He's recruited all over the place, too, because he's a freak of nature.
Finally passed him.
Yeah, and he's a freak of nature.
They don't give a shit if he can.
Silver-haired, middle-aged white men are everywhere.
They'll figure it out once he gets in.
They're like, you can take that fucking test every day until you pass it
and then get over here and tackle some people.
There's no limit.
You can take it forever.
Yeah, if you blow out your knee, we'll kick your ass right back to Mount Holly in joy.
That's the ode of the silver-haired, middle-aged white man right there.
Real quickly, speaking of silver-haired, middle-aged white men,
we didn't reference already on this show that that shit is on Urban Dictionary
because of this show and because of people like you guys listening.
Whoever did that shit, that's fucking incredible.
It says I'm good now?
Yeah.
I mean, like, you guys, it's definitely from the show.
Yeah, no doubt.
I wrote that definition.
I know that for a fact. I'm like, that's from the show. That's amazing. I fucking wrote that. So, yeah, you guys, it's definitely from the show. No doubt. I wrote that definition. I know that for a fact.
I'm like, that's from the show.
That's amazing.
I fucking wrote that.
So, yeah, that's amazing.
Thank you for whoever did that.
That's cool.
We cracked pop culture.
Yeah.
We're affecting the world.
Infecting the world is probably more like it.
Not in a positive way, I don't feel like.
I don't think we're affecting.
We're not, like, teaching kids to read or anything like that.
We're getting accountants through their fucking day, though.
Yeah, we're probably helping people forget how to read, I think, at this point with us.
So he's third time ACT passes it or whatever gets a high enough score to make him eligible for college, which is, you know, he knew his name and his address.
He had to remember.
He couldn't get that on the first two tests.
He ends up choosing Ohio State University university perfect place for a fuck up yeah hey if you're gonna go play college football
though and you want to get noticed that's a good goddamn place to go especially you know back then
you'd go there you go to notre dame yeah who was the coach then i have no idea i wonder if it was
87 this is an 88 okay 88 he's came in i'm not sure who coached him. I don't either. Not positive.
I'm a little shaky on my 80s college football coaches.
I'm way worse.
It's not great.
Shaky would be, I would love to be shaky.
Yeah.
Now, as he's leaving, this is what his high school defensive coordinator said.
This is a guy named Raj Makara.
He says, quote, he was bigger than life.
I mean, you're not 6'4", 245, 250 pounds with a 28-inch waist walking around the school building without attracting attention.
Wow.
A 28-inch waist like that.
No fat.
Wow.
He's a V.
He's a wide shoulder, solid muscle down to a tiny waist.
He's got those fuck muscles on his fucking abdomen.
He's like an action figure.
Yeah.
He's like a He-Man figure.
Come to life.
That's what he is.
Yeah.
Like one of those 80s Remco wrestling figures, the AWA, NWA ones.
John Cooper was the coach.
John Cooper.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That's okay.
I've heard of him.
Yeah.
So that's where he's going to play.
He goes to play there in the classroom.
He couldn't give a shit less at all in Ohio State.
How is he going to care?
He's got football to play.
Now there's chicks everywhere.
And everybody forgot about that nickname, SAT.
Oh, yeah.
Now they're just S-A-C-K.
Sack, sack, sack.
They're down to do shit.
He doesn't care.
He partied like an animal at Ohio State.
I love him already.
He partied.
He slept with as many women as he possibly could as the day allowed, basically.
As long as time allowed.
How many hours we got in this day?
Well, let's line them up here.
His coach says he, quote, rep Cooper, said, quote, he reveled in his freedom.
I'm sure he did.
He's away from Philly.
Ohio State's in a great community.
Yeah, well, I mean, he's just away from that.
He's away from his mom and his brothers and sisters and all this shit.
Now he's just out and he's like a celebrity.
I mean, if you're playing for a major program like this, you're a celebrity.
I mean, and he doesn't even redshirt.
Really?
No, he plays as a true freshman.
They just throw him right in.
Yeah, because he's such a monster.
And he's like 16 years old, and they just throw him in.
That's fucking crazy.
That's wild.
16?
16.
I think he just turned 17 when they started playing.
Wow.
I mean, he's 17, and he's out there blowing up college kids.
There's a big difference between 17 and 21.
There's a huge difference.
There's a huge difference between 17 and 19.
Yeah, so that's why most people, they redshirt because they're not physically ready yet.
With him, they were like, well, shit, he's an NFL line.
Let's do it.
Let's throw him in there.
What the hell?
So as he's going around finding all these girls having a good time, like I said, he's sleeping with all these girls.
Do you think protection is a real big option for him?
I'm going with no because he already has a baby.
And guess what?
Now he's got another one.
So let's have a second baby girl.
At 17, he's got two daughters.
Second baby girl.
He's like a freshman in college.
So this is not going well so far.
Already making terrible choices.
Terrible.
Now on the field, though, does great.
He's a three-year starter.
Wow.
He only plays there for three years because we'll get into why.
He's a team captain at one point.
Wow.
His freshman year, he has 49 tackles and four sacks.
Lonzo's a badass.
He's a badass.
52 tackles and two sacks in 1990 in his sophomore year.
Now, as a sophomore in 1990, he had a couple of issues.
Not on the field.
Well, it turns into on the field because of off the field.
He was accused of and busted for, found guilty of, really.
He did it.
Of sending someone else to a classroom to take a test for him.
Oh, shit.
So he tried to pull one of those where he's like, I'm going to get that aging kid to say
he's Alonzo Spellman, the five foot six kid who weighs a buck weighs a buck 40
go say you're alonzo and they're like i don't think you're alonzo spelman alonzo your tan went
away where are your fuck muscles what happened to alonzo your fuck muscles are gone you poor guy
sit down are you feeling okay you're feeling his forehead You need to set. Where are your fuck muscles? Let me, where are they?
So he's, yeah, he's, the imposter was caught because he's not Alonzo Spellman.
And so Spellman was not allowed to, he's banned from playing in that year's Liberty Bowl.
So he got banned from a bowl game.
That sucks.
That's hardcore.
Yeah.
That's brutal. They actually had to do something about that to cover their own asses so they won't get further in trouble for sure because i'm sure they had other
sanctions or god knows what uh with all the silver-haired middle-aged white men running wild
and being honest i'm i doubt he really set it all up somebody told him how to do it
i guarantee he was like yo i'm gonna get this asian kid i guarantee it was like yo ming come
here come here for a minute man he's like yo you and your'm going to get this Asian kid. I guarantee you. Yo, Ming, come here. Come here for a minute, man.
He's like, yo, you and your girl want to go to the game?
I'll get you some tickets.
You want to go to the Liberty Bowl?
I feel like that's what it was.
I really do.
He's smart enough to set this up.
I hope Ming still went to the Liberty Bowl even without him playing.
I don't think so.
Yeah, I think Ming got screwed on his tickets.
He's like, how'd you get caught, man?
How stupid are you?
He's like, stupid?
I'm obviously not you.
What do you mean?
The problem is the professor was not stupid. That's what happened. The problem, stupid? I'm obviously not you. What do you mean?
The problem is the professor was not stupid.
That's what happened. The problem is he knows I'm not Alonzo Spellman.
He can tell.
Why?
Because I'm Asian.
That's why.
How many Asian kids you know named Alonzo in 1990?
Any?
Probably not.
They asked me where my game plan book was.
That's how they knew.
I don't know.
So you're a defensive end, huh?
And I said, sure.
They go, anyway, about $1.48?
I don't think so.
So I love what they do here, too.
He's not allowed to play in the Liberty Bowl.
And also, he's not allowed to re-enroll in school until the winter quarter of 91.
So they're like, you come back when there's football to play.
Yeah.
That's what they did.
Yeah, that's perfect.
Literally, that's what it was.
They don't give a fuck about him and his academics.
They're like, look, we both know what you're here for come back with the beginning of
football season we don't need you for that yeah we don't need you here on the field um he plays
well but it's still below expectations they expect him to be a freak of nature shut down the world
yeah be the you know like he did in high school like he did in high school and just like they
think he can do like they did when they saw him.
They were like, look at him, silver-haired, middle-aged white man started tingling with Spidey scents going crazy.
They're like, he can help us. He can pay my mortgage.
He can do it.
He can keep me from getting fired.
Yeah.
So, yeah, he plays there.
He was all Big Ten and won a team MVP in his junior year, which is good.
He had a better year his junior year.
He also earned first team All-America honors.
So that's pretty goddamn good.
That's not bad.
But he still didn't play as well as they thought he could play.
That's how he was still underperforming.
So they had high expectations for their program because if that's low performing, then watch the fuck out.
And they looked at him and were like, that's the best athlete in the country.
He's going to dominate in here.
And so if he does anything but dominate, they're a little disappointed.
But he plays well enough to make the Pro Scouts drool because they look at physicality.
They look at it, and they don't look at so much college stats.
I mean, they do, but they also look at what would he look like on an NFL field.
Because you can get a guy who does a great college, Michael Sam, as we know, guys like that.
I think of another one, a little man named Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow.
I was thinking defense.
Yeah.
All right.
Tim Tebow, though.
That's what I mean.
You can look completely different on and off the college field.
Athletic prowess can't be coached.
No, that's the thing.
You can coach people to do some things in college that just because they don't have
a specific tool that's athletic, they can still succeed in college.
And in the NFL, you better fucking be the greatest athlete that ever lived.
And have all the skills.
And know how to get coached.
I feel like they look at these college guys and they're like, okay, I'm sure our coaches
are better than their coaches.
We're going to teach them the technique and all that shit, but we need the raw material.
We need the marble to be able to chisel it out.
Otherwise, we just have a big shit statue.
We don't want a shit statue.
You know, what are we going to do here?
No, we don't need a testament to shit.
So he decides to not play his senior year and to pull himself out after his junior year,
make himself eligible for the 92 draft.
Really?
At 20 years old, he's going to go up for the NFL draft, which is extremely young to go in the NFL.
So young.
So young.
They look at that.
They like 22 in the NFL because they're like, OK, this guy's physically done.
But with him, physicality isn't a question at all.
His coach at Ohio State, John Cooper, who he discussed, said, quote, you look at Alonzo and put him through any kind of test you want to and he'll score high.
So he's like, that's all it is.
Unless it's the ACT. Unless it's the ACT.
Unless it's the ACT, and then he's going to need a few shots at that.
There's character questions.
All they talk about going up to the draft is his test thing.
We're getting the guy to scan the test for him and shit like that.
They talk about that shit a lot.
Blows away out of proportions.
We have an in their own words of what he thinks about this.
In their own words,
quote,
there's been a whole lot
of talk about that.
It has been a question
of whether I can play every down
or whether I take plays off.
That's something I'll have to prove
when I come to the pros.
I try to ignore the criticism.
When I come to the pros.
When I come to the pros.
He's going,
he knows he's going to the pros.
This is right before the draft
because everyone in the draft,
they were talking about
his character questions.
That's where he's like,
yeah, everybody's been talking about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're going to say I take plays off. Fuck that. It doesn't
matter because I'm getting paid. He
nicknames himself, which is always a good
sign. That's never good. That's
one of the crime and sports red flags.
Yeah. You don't give yourself a
self-nickname. You move home, you find religion. By the way,
he pretty much covers, I think
he covers every one of our rules. I love it.
He is the quintessential
prototype idiot
who does not follow
any of these rules. We went with idiot, I like that.
Yeah, I don't know what the hell. He nicknames himself
Zo-Man, which isn't even creative.
What? No. He calls himself Zo.
Later on he has a white Mercedes with a Zo
license plate. And what year is this?
That's what I mean. Alonzo Mourning's already in the NBA.
Yeah, you don't get to do that, motherfucker. There's what I mean. Alonzo Mourning's already in the NBA. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.
You don't get to do that, motherfucker.
There's already a Zo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go buy Al, fuckface.
If you don't...
Perfect.
If you don't know who Alonzo Mourning is, if you're not a sports fan, he's a basketball
player who played at Georgetown, Miami, and Charlotte.
One of the best centers at that time.
He's a hell of a center.
Tough guy.
He's a monster.
I think he has one kidney.
Does he really?
I believe Alonzo Mourning had a kidney.
Did he lose it?
Yeah, I think he had a kidney replaced. I think he had a problemonzo Mourning had a kidney. Did he lose it? Yeah, I think he had a kidney replaced.
I think he had a problem with that.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
That makes me sad.
We all like Alonzo Mourning.
I used to love the Charlotte Hornets, man.
That was my shit.
That was my jam.
And Larry Johnson, obviously.
Yeah, come on.
Larry Johnson, Muggsy Bogues.
Muggsy, yeah, that was the squad, man.
God, it was so fun.
So, what was it?
Del Curry, too.
Yeah, yeah, Steph Curry's dad.
Steph Curry's dad is shooting threes out there.
Reigning them. Reigning them. He had a record for a while for winnings in a game, I think. David, Steph Curry's dad. Steph Curry's dad is shooting threes out there. Reigning him.
Reigning him.
He had a record for a while for when it's in a game, I think.
David Wingate?
Forget it.
David Wingate, by the way.
I know.
We will be discussing David Wingate.
That guy.
That bums me out so much.
Has had so many rape allegations.
He's a terrible human being from what I understand.
He's not a good guy.
It was like one year he had like three rape allegations.
It's one year.
Stop it, David.
Stop it.
You were once a star. I enjoyed you. Now back one year. Stop it, David. Stop it. You were once a star.
I enjoyed you.
Now back to Alonzo Spellman.
All right.
We are at the 1992 NFL draft.
Okay.
It's April 26, 1992 at the Marriott Marquee in New York City.
It's on ESPN.
This is when they started in the early 80s televising it.
But this is when it started to become something that people watched.
This is a weird draft. First of all, this is the shittiest draft in the history 80s televising it, but this is when it started to become something that people watched. This is a weird draft.
First of all, this is the shittiest draft in the history of football, player-wise.
I know this for a fact, and I knew this before I read a thing, because I was 14 years old at this point in time, and I was huge into collecting football cards.
And I spent a whole bunch of money buying football cards for 92, just it was that was the year and i loved football cards it's the most football cards i bought was in 92 not a player worth of shit
not a player just a whole lot of david clinglers and guys like that quentin corriette and pieces
of shit like that speaking of quentin corriette we'll talk about him in a second also too this
is the year the cults had the first two picks okay draft yeah first two picks right how do
you fuck that how do you ruin that you gotta one of them will be good nope they picked two bus who
did they get they got steve etman who that's a famous story of steve etman and steroids and all
that sort of thing and quentin corriette a linebacker who was extremely average played for
like five years who else came out in that draft? Well, that year, the best players in that draft.
I mean, this is not great.
This is, by the way, it's the only draft since 1960 to produce zero Hall of Famers.
Really?
Out of hundreds of players, zero of them were good.
Yeah, first rounder is Desmond Howard, who was a good kick returner.
He's not great.
Bears, right? Bears.
No, no.
Packers and Redskins at the time.
And Packers, he won Super Bowl MVP against the Patriots in 97.
Well, same conference.
Same conference.
Same conference.
Not even division.
Let's go conference.
David Klingler, who was a garbage Cincinnati Bengals quarterback who amounted to nothing.
Jesus.
Leon Searcy, who was on that Broke documentary.
He's pretty entertaining.
Jesus Christ. This is Chester McLaughlin. E on that Broke documentary. He's pretty entertaining. Jesus Christ.
This is Chester McLaughlin.
Eesh.
Not good, man.
Alonzo Spellman at number 22 to the Bears.
They choose Alonzo Spellman.
A few picks later, he could have had touchdown Tommy Maddox, who won an XFL championship
and ended up playing for the Steelers and actually playing pretty well.
Robert Porche.
Eesh.
Second round, he could have had Carl Pickens, Jimmy Smith, Darren Woodson, good safety,
and LeVon Kirkland, great linebacker, but not a Hall of Famer, just a good linebacker.
And if you want to hang on until round six, you could have had Mark Kidd-Diddler-Chamara.
No!
Mark, babysitter in the hot tub.
We'll talk about that.
I'm sure we'll talk about him at some point.
He was busted with a babysitter in the hot tub. That's a Packer, dick face. I'm sure we'll talk about him at some point. He was busted with babysitter in the hot tub.
That's a packer, too, right?
He was acquitted.
Of course, yeah.
Sixth round there.
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And now back to the show
so they but alonzo goes pick number 22 in the first round he's a first rounder man i mean that's
your first rounder in the nfl you got it made a big deal that's that's doing well by the chicago
bears next day that was april 26th the next day 27th, there's a fluff piece in the Chicago Tribune already, man.
The fluff pieces rain on this guy, by the way.
Oh, God.
He hits all of them.
All the rules he breaks, all the fluff bits.
Silverhaired, middle-aged white men, fluff pieces.
This is a crime in sports.
This could be, like, if you are new to crime in sports, this is a good first episode to listen to.
It's just as good as any of the others.
This is a good first episode to listen to.
It's just as good as any of the others.
The fluff piece is called, quote, Spellman potentially a real plum.
Really?
Which, very creative.
He's the best athlete available at the time.
That's where they took him.
We got a quote from Mike Ditka.
Yeah?
Mike Ditka drafted him, by the way. Yeah, that's another point.
Yes, this is Mike Ditka's last year of coaching the Bears.
That was his last one?
This is his last year, and this is the last year of the Bears being that Bears, that 80 the Bears. That was his last one? 92? This is his last year and this is the last year of the Bears
being that Bears. That 80s
Bears. This draft ruined Mike
Dicka. That's what it is. It didn't help him
any. It didn't help him any. He's like, are you shitting me?
Look at these names. This is the last year that Mike
Singletary played there, that Richard Dent
played there, that Dan Hampton played there.
All the guys that made up the core of that
team, they got them. It was like after
98 with the Bulls. They just shipped everybody out.
Phil Jackson's gone.
Shit can the whole start over.
Blow it up and start over.
So Mike Ditka says about Alonzo, quote, this guy is a very strong, aggressive young man.
His football is just going to get better all the time.
Is he perfect?
No one's perfect.
So he's like, yeah, I don't care.
He can tackle people.
I don't give a shit.
He said that through a piece of spearmint gum.
Yeah. He said it like Norm Mac, I don't care. He can tackle people. I don't give a shit. He said that through a piece of spearmint gum. Yeah.
He said it like Norm MacDonald doing a Burt Reynolds impersonation, which is like basically
a Mike Ditka impersonation.
It basically is.
Yeah.
That's pretty much.
It seems like he had a Mike Ditka impersonation.
He's like, hey, if I put a hat on, I'm Burt Reynolds.
If I take this ill-fitting sweater off and just put on a cowboy hat, I'm all of a sudden
Burt Reynolds.
If I look like the bandit, I'm fucking, it's perfect.
Now, a defensive back named Jeremy Lincoln,
who was also drafted by the Bears, said about Alonzo,
quote, he was in the mix, but he didn't have to be the man.
He didn't have to play outside of who he was,
and sometimes he was unstoppable.
Because he was a rookie on a veteran defense.
Those were those 80s Bears defenses.
If you don't know about football, in the 80s, the Bears had,
that was the Bears' vaunted Bear defense.
There are a couple of defenses that you know, the Orange Crusher bears had that was the bears vaunted bear defense there are a couple of
defenses that you know the orange crusher denver and that fucking bears defense ravens you know
the yeah you know the doomsday late 70s cowboy defenses and the raiders in the fucking 70s a
few of them right but this the those 85 bears are known as if not the best defense of all time
top three undisputed absolutely Absolutely. Nobody will argue with you.
There's someone who might say, well, that one was a little better, but they're always number two.
Right.
It's that sort of thing.
So he's joining that.
This was at the end of that.
And these are who he's learning from.
Yes.
That's awesome.
It's a good rookie time to be around.
You're in a veteran place and, you know, that sort of thing.
Now, Alonzo buys into all this.
He starts calling himself the last Hallis bear.
George Hallis was the owner. So he's saying, calling himself the last Hallis bear. George Hallis was the owner.
So he's saying, I'm the last Hallis bear. I don't know
what he was thinking, why you gotta be cocky like that.
He really wants to be something. He also told the press
that he was the sheriff.
Like in a western, he said.
Because he used to like westerns when he was a kid.
So he's like, I'm like the sheriff from those westerns
I used to like when I was a kid. And it's like, no, you're a football
player. Shut the fuck up. Make a tackle.
Get your paycheck. Be a Hallis bear and just go do it. Yeah, just go do your thing and shut up. Now, he buys I was a kid. And it's like, no, you're a football player. Shut the fuck up. Make a tackle. Get your paycheck.
Be a Hallis Bear and just go do it.
Yeah, just go do your thing and shut up.
Now, he buys his mom a house, which is nice.
Good for him.
Gets his mom out of the projects, which we always like it when people do that.
Countless friends take money from him.
He's a generous guy.
Hands out money.
He's got a bunch of poor people that he knows, relatives, friends, brothers, sisters, cousins,
uncles, aunts. And they explode in numbers when you get money. He's got a bunch of poor people that he knows, relatives, friends, brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, aunts.
And they explode in numbers when you get money. They've come everywhere.
They do. And he pays people's bills.
He pays their mortgages. He buys people
shit. He'll fly people like he
flew his family into Chicago for Thanksgiving.
And they did like, you know, it
costs him like, you know, he had to buy
for everyone's airline tickets.
$10,000 restaurant bills he's picking up.
No!
God, Jesus, really?
They're robbing him blind.
It's tough.
On the field, he plays in 15 to 16 games.
He doesn't start any because he's not in that.
The vets are starting here.
You still got Singletary.
Yeah, he has four sacks, though.
Four sacks for a guy who's not starting?
That's fine.
That's showing potential as a rookie.
He's 20 years old.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
They're like, holy shit.
He got to the quarterback four times.
Yeah, that's not bad.
He had 30 tackles, which for a defensive end is fine with that many sacks.
That's great.
93.
I'm sorry, 92.
Under the team ends up going 5-11.
Okay.
And Ditka is fired after the season.
And they start.
Can you imagine?
They get rid of everybody.
They bring in Dave Wonstadt.
Ouch.
Remember Dave Wonstadt?
They needed a mustache in there somewhere.
So they bring in Wonstadt, who's still kicking around.
Somewhere.
Yeah, he was a coordinator for Dallas.
He's Miami's head coach.
He fails.
He's mediocre wherever he goes.
His defenses are always good when he's a defensive coordinator.
But when he's a head coach, things don't quite work out uh yeah so that they have kind of a lousy season 93 uh the
veterans all leave and so now the bears need alonzo to step up a little bit more but that he
doesn't he doesn't live up to it in 93 like word around the league is that you could assign a full
back to block him and that'll that'll that's enough that's enough delay you can't have a defensive end where the fullback can block no
you want your defensive end to need the offensive tackle and a fullback to block him right you don't
want just a double team at minimum to bar at least the best of von miller that's what you want their
left tackle or something like that you don't want a guy who's like yeah just send him over there
uh his it's just he was all appearance.
One former teammate that's anonymous said, quote, looks like Tarzan hits like Jane.
Oh, wow.
That's see, that guy should be a journalist.
That's brilliant.
That should be the.
That's what I want.
Headlines written in the New York Times.
I want a plum.
Yeah, that's garbage.
That's a garbage.
Looks like Tarzan hits like Jane is fucking brutal. And might be a plum. Yeah, that's garbage. That's a garbage quote. Looks like Tarzan.
Hits like Jane is fucking brutal, and it's hysterical. It is.
In the 93 season, he played in all 16 games.
Didn't start any, though.
Like I said, they're working him in.
Two and a half sacks, 28 tackles.
So he's not really dominating.
He's kind of falling off.
They played more.
They want him to.
I mean, sacks, you could get to the quarterback the exact amount and have 21 year and 10 the next, even though you were there the same amount, but still
they want more production.
Your numbers are supposed to incline as you get to year six, seven, and then they decline.
That's it.
That's how it should go.
Exactly.
That's what they want.
94 season, or I'm sorry, 93, not 94, 93 season, the team goes seven and nine.
And so, you know, just a new coach.
So that's a start.
You can't be mad at the guy for that.
Life is good for him, and we have an in-their-own-words on just how good it is.
Right now, we are at grace.
This is grace because it's not going to be so great very, very soon.
Things are going to start really free-falling for him.
So we have an in-their-own- words on playing with the bears and just life in general and
how great it is in their own words.
Quote, I was waking up every morning and coming out of my house and seeing my car and looking
at my clothes.
And I was just like, man, this is great.
It was like lights, camera action every morning when I woke up.
He's just excited as shit about his life.
He's a Hollywood guy now at this point, but apparently
lights, camera, action. Yeah, he's just like
this is all you could want. It's just the
best thing in the world. I wake up, I'm happy.
1995, he starts the
Alonzo Spellman Foundation.
Listed in the
filings, and I have some interesting
things coming up on this that I found in the filings.
I got deep into
charity IRS records and shit.
Yeah, I did.
That's right.
Fuck yeah.
Patreon.com slash crime and sports.
So, yeah, it's listed as being for, quote, race relations.
Really?
So I don't know.
He's trying to get the races together somehow in this.
He thinks he's Martin Luther King?
I believe he thinks he's Martin Luther King.
Yes.
He has a dream and he's going to make a difference.
So now in the 95 season, he has eight and a half sacks, which is great.
That's terrific.
Bears finished nine and seven.
Same as last year, but no playoffs this year.
Brutal.
Now at this point in time, he's starting to get known for things besides his just on the field and just his happy-go-lucky demeanor.
Things like his sexual appetite.
Oh, no.
Is becoming known.
Oh, no.
By everybody.
Those middle-aged women just excited him so much in his early life.
He's one of those guys that they're like, yeah, Spellman.
He went out to the club and everyone was like, oh, shit, Spellman.
Oh, damn.
This is going to be crazy.
How many did he get pregnant?
Shit is going to turn out wild tonight, man.
So one of his former partners, a female partner, said, quote, that was his thing.
He's a freak.
He loves sex.
Oh, boy.
That's everybody's thing, honey, by the way.
I mean, his thing is multiple partners.
That's his thing.
Well, and the appetite.
It's just, it's always constantly.
I'm lazy.
Really?
I'm not going out and seeking shit.
Listen, I'm lazy.
Really?
I'm not going out and seeking shit.
I have a girlfriend, and I'm very happy I do because I'm way too lazy to go out and seek women.
I'm just not doing it. No, I don't want to seek women.
Unless they come to the door.
I want to fuck one.
I want to fuck one all day.
But I'm not going to find her.
The problem is I've got shit to do.
That's the problem.
Yes.
I've got things to do.
Well, that's true.
Otherwise, if I had a bunch of money and I didn't have to be anywhere, maybe I'd fuck all day.
I don't know.
There's too much shit.
I don't know.
I might try.
There's a lot on Netflix I got to catch up.
I got a lot of shit to do, Jimmy.
I'm way too lazy to do that.
Once I'm done with that, then I want to move on.
I don't want to go find another one 10 minutes later.
I want the same one just over and over.
Let's get a snack now and relax.
But I don't want to go out and find anybody else. Snack, nap, fuck. Snack, nap, fuck. I want to do one just over and over. Let's get a snack now and relax. But I don't want to go out and find anybody else.
Snack, nap, fuck.
Snack, nap, fuck.
I want to do that all day.
That's not bad.
That sounds amazing.
That sounds fucking great.
It's better than this.
I don't want to go find them.
I don't want to have to go drink, go to the club.
That's what I mean.
Search them out.
Pay for their drink.
Go fuck them.
Come back and do that all over again.
That's not good.
I could be a single millionaire and I still would be like i'm not doing that no i don't want to be single
fuck being single i ordered pizza so i'm gonna be in for tonight i got nothing i ordered a pizza
i'm just gonna rub it all over me i don't care i'm gonna fuck this pizza that's what i'm gonna do
well the end of the rumors in the nfl say he's fucking everything but pizza
everything but pizza that includes maybe he's fucking everything but pizza. Everything but pizza.
Maybe he should have fucked the pizza.
That includes not just
women. It's rumored. This is not
limited to women. That's why I said I think something happened
to him early. Not that that's
what causes gay.
That's not what I'm saying.
When you're sexually ambiguous,
well, you have to sometimes. I don't want to say
that, oh, just because he got diddled. I mean, no, it's not
what I said. And I don't know that he got diddled either, but
usually ambiguity comes from that.
So, just psychologically.
So, yeah, it's an interest that he...
It's rumors that he's not just
interested in women, and also that he
was involved romantically with a Bears
teammate. Really? There's rumors of that.
I love it. This doesn't play
well in a mid-90s locker room, is love it. This doesn't play well in a mid-90s locker room
is the problem. It doesn't play well in 2017's
locker room. No, a little better,
but definitely not 20 years ago.
On the field, he's kind
of, you know, he's not the most
dependable guy in the world. He's kind of erratic
and everything else. And off
the field, he's becoming
incredibly erratic. Rumors around
too in football, like, hey, Alonzo fucking dudes, like, he's becoming rumors around, too, in football.
Like, hey, Alonzo fucking dudes.
Like, that's not great for your locker room reputation.
So they were, you know, people were kind of leery of him being like a defensive leader because he was a first-round draft pick.
All their old guys left.
He should be stepping into a leadership role.
And they're like, I don't know if we're following, you know, Captain.
His slap on my ass lingered a little bit yeah he really he rubbed it first or you know or even some
people were uncomfortable some people were uncomfortable having him in the locker room
you know just for a second he's a little he gave a little rub and then a smack i went what the fuck
he credit checked me he rubbed it right up my crack.
He just wanted to make sure.
Good game.
You didn't have to put your finger in there.
Just making sure you had everything.
What?
Great tackle.
Did you just try to fuck me?
What just happened?
So unbelievable, man.
So he also becomes in another, he becomes involved in off the field too.
He's a nice guy too.
He becomes involved with a foundation called Americans All, which provides tutoring and scholarships to low-income students in Chicago.
He targeted his efforts to the West Sides elementary schools.
And he would do this with schools later on, too, where he would take high school students and take them to D.C. for government things.
Cool, like learning and seeing how things run.
That's awesome.
And he would like consult with like professors to see what he should be guiding them toward
and shit.
Like he's got a good heart, this guy and shit like that.
This is a guy where you, every time he fucks up, you're like, no, stop.
You could be such a good person.
You can make a difference, Alonzo.
You can do things and you're not doing them because you're a fucking idiot.
See, he's not stupid.
He's an idiot.
He's an idiot, yeah.
So far, I think that's where we are.
He's not stupid.
He's an idiot.
Yeah, so the 96 season on the field, Bears go 7-9.
They seem to go 7-9 every year with Dave Wonstad here.
He has eight sacks on the field.
Not terrible, not great, pretty good.
After the season is when his contract is up.
It expires and the Jaguars
push hard for him.
This is an expansion Jaguars.
I think it's the year after, two years after their
expansion. 96? This is
going into after 96. It's going to be going into
97. I think that's right. I think in 97
was 96 the year that they came in?
No, no.
95 they came in. They were two years removed when they came in? No, no, 95 they came in.
They were two years removed when they were in the championship game.
It was their second year.
So the Panthers and Jaguars come in, the Jaguars want him.
Because the Patriots beat the Jaguars in the AFC championship game,
went on to play the Packers and lose to them.
Desmond Howard, who was the fourth pick, was the MVP of the Super Bowl.
It's all full circle, baby.
It's all full circle.
So, yeah, after this year, they offer him a four-year, $12 million contract.
And they also offer him, here's the thing that they offer him.
They offer to set aside an additional $100,000 a year for his charity.
The Jaguars do this.
The Jaguars offer him to do this.
That's an awesome offer.
That's part of his thing.
They agree.
But the Bears, they match the offer because it was his rookie contract, so they have a right to match.
But they will not do the extra. They tell him no on the extra $100, they matched the offer because it was his rookie contract, so they have a right to match. But they will not do the extra.
They tell him no on the extra $100,000 for the charity.
No, he can't because they matched.
Oh, OK.
Got you.
That doesn't count.
That was extra.
But he's fucking pissed because he's like, how dare you know that they're doing that?
You know that's important to me.
Right.
But you just match it and then tell me to go fuck myself on that.
That's shitty.
You clearly don't want a relationship with me that's great, you know, that sort of thing.
They agreed.
So they ended up agreeing to the whole deal.
He had to resign, but he...
And his charity's out $400,000 because that's four years, right?
Or was it...
Yeah, four years.
$400,000.
That's $400,000 that could have gone to helping kids.
Yeah, exactly.
And he was...
The Bears were like, go fuck yourself.
That's shitty.
Now, this hurt him a lot.
And his publicist, Nancy Mitchell, who we'll definitely talk about in a minute because shit gets super weird at her house,
she said that Alonzo said, quote, the next four years are going to be pure hell.
Lucky for him, he doesn't last the four years.
It's pure hell, but for other reasons, not the ones he thought it was going to be.
Lincoln, the cornerback there that they drafted this year, said, quote, the Bears really hurt him.
He never had a conflict with the organization before that they drafted this year, said, quote, the Bears really hurt him.
He never had a conflict with the organization before that.
So this was the thing here.
Late 1996, they say that Spellman's demeanor started to change dramatically.
He cozied in basically.
What he did was, OK.
I love when you get excited to tell something.
Because this is when shit gets crazy.
He starts getting super erratic.
He just parties super hard for like just a couple of months straight. Is it just booze or is there drugs?
Oh, everything.
He can get his hands on drugs, booze.
Yeah.
Because we'll find out why he's into drugs and booze too in a minute because he's got some issues.
He finds a girl that he likes too because this is always what you want to do at this point.
When things are going their best and starting to get a little
shaky you want to find a woman and latch yourself
on to him and then destroy your life
further because you'll find someone terrible
for you and they always do it
he finds a
woman named Lizzie who
is an exotic dancer from a club called
the dollhouse what the fuck man
this is who he's settling in with
not terrific from the dollhouse the dollhouse is the name of it the dollhouse that's the fuck, man? So this is who he's settling in with. Not terrific.
From the Dollhouse?
The Dollhouse is the name of it.
The Dollhouse.
That's a very popular one in Tampa.
And it's classy, but not the chicks.
I don't think this is Tampa, but I'm sure there's a Dollhouse in most cities.
I'm sure it's related, yeah.
Yeah.
Who knows?
It's probably a chain of them.
So in early 97, right after the 96 season, early 97, Alonzo and Lizzie disappear for
like a month and a half.
Nobody hears from them.
They're gone.
Fuck, snack, nap, babe.
Fuck, snack, nap.
That's what they're doing.
They're just in the house.
They don't even have time to order pizza.
All right.
They come back a couple months later married.
Oh, God.
So you want to get married to a dancer.
That's where you want to be.
Good fucking, good snacking, good napping.
There we go.
And now he's got problems here.
Jesus.
So he comes back married. And all the friends say problems here. Jesus. So he comes back married.
And all the friends say he came back different.
When he came back from there, he was a different guy.
Depleted.
Just sore.
Shrunken.
No more fuck muscles.
No, they said he was withdrawn.
They said he was thin.
Yep.
Not as carefree as he was.
Kind of miserable.
That's a month and a half with some crazy drug addict.
I bet.
A stripper will do that to you.
You betcha.
Soon.
They said basically one of his friends said he was completely off the hook after that.
Then he, this is when he, this is, this is when shit fall apart.
Here it is.
Buckle up.
Okay.
Cause it's going to get fast.
It's coming fast and furious.
All right.
March, 1997.
He has stopped for speeding.
He's going 88 miles in a 55 mile an hour zone in Illinois.
Wow.
He's charged with that.
He's charged with four other traffic offenses. And also he's charged with carrying a loaded handgun. You got to have that. Turns out he had an Illinois permit for the handgun. And so he was
cleared of that. He just had the traffic charges. But still, he made a big scene and it was a big
mess and something like that. In training camp that year in 97 he
fights with dave wonstadt the coach a whole bunch he gets in physical fights with an offensive
lineman named andy heck on the team repeatedly okay it's in physical altercations with this guy
maybe who knows maybe i would hate to see those two have sex because that would be gross because
he's a big white offensive line a big That would be gross. A big white offensive lineman with a beard.
It would be hysterical.
Don't give it to me, Alonzo.
Give me your fuck muscles.
No, I don't want to see that.
I'm out on that visual.
He's like, you're too thin now.
I don't want to fuck you anymore.
Come on, now you're all withdrawn.
Give it to me good.
So.
Oh, man.
Gay sex is hysterical.
You got to rub it before you slap it.
God damn it, it's so funny.
Especially when it's between two extremely masculine men.
Two ridiculously not stereotypical homosexual men.
Yeah.
So he's fighting with Lyman.
He's fighting with the coach.
Yeah.
In August of 1997, he is sued for life, for support by a Chicago woman named named nina fan who in august of 1997 this month
gave birth to his son oh shit so now he's got more kids three i think he has six in total my god
by the end of this whole mess just to put a ribbon on it now uh the judge in that case what they do
what the judge does is freezes spellman's bank accounts and investment accounts when their lawyer, Fan, the woman,
her lawyer said that he hasn't been working because his contract was up and so what's going on here?
And that the judge, basically he needs this fucking money and he might run out of money if you don't freeze his assets.
Which isn't going to happen.
You can't take all my money, I need food.
Yeah.
So 97 with the Bears, it's ridiculous. He isn't going to happen. You can't take all my money. I need food. I need to sign a deal. Right. Yeah. So 97 with the Bears, it's ridiculous.
He wasn't unemployed.
He was off-season, which is weird because in the off-season, you don't get paychecks
in the NFL.
You only get 16 weeks of paychecks.
They considered that unemployed.
It's like, he'll get more.
Right.
It's coming.
It's coming.
Right.
So the whole 97 season, he has a bad shoulder injury in the beginning.
The Bears accuse him of dogging it the whole time.
He doesn't get a surgery that they recommend for him, the team doctors and all that.
He misses nine games.
They charge that he doesn't get proper treatment, like I said.
He plays in seven games, misses nine.
He only has two sacks.
Eventually, the team suspends him for four games, telling him that was part of it,
telling him that, saying that he was dogging the injury and he wasn't doing it.
The Bears go four and 12 that year.
So it seems like they were probably looking for an escape.
Let's blame him.
We got to blame.
We're a mess.
And if this guy's shoulder is fucked up, then we've got something.
That's the thing.
Let's just blame him.
Now, when he comes back from the injury on December 8th, 1997,
there's a fluff piece waiting to go.
It's called, quote, Spellman Returns a Changed Man.
That's as fluffy as you get.
He's happy to be playing.
It's ridiculous.
He makes his presence felt, the whole deal.
He hasn't been around since mid-September, but he's skipping around.
He's so happy.
They said he looks and feels like a rookie.
He's just a different man.
He says that he can't even explain the feeling. He's like, I'm just so happy. They said he looks and feels like a rookie. He's just a different man. He says that
he can't even explain the feeling. He's like, I'm just so happy and anxious. I'm just the happiest
guy to be here right now. Tarzan coming back for a triumphant return. He's up right now. He ain't
Jane anymore. He goes up and he goes down. So with the suspension, they end up doing arbitration in
January of 1998. He does arbitration.
Yeah.
And they end up having to pay him $335,295 in back pay. Wow.
Saying that that was bullshit.
You can't just say a guy's dogging it.
This is why unions are great.
This is why.
Yeah, that helps.
Yeah, this helps.
Now, at this point, I noticed the Alonzo Spellman Foundation.
If you looked up in 98 what was going on, it's listed in Tower Lakes, Illinois,
and it says, quote,
the organization has not appeared on the
IRS business master file in
a number of months. It may have merged with another
organization or ceased operations.
The organization's exempt status was automatically
revoked by the IRS for failure to
file form 990, 990EZ,
990N, or
990PF for three consecutive years.
Oh, shit.
Further investigation and due diligence are warranted.
Wow.
So there was this charity, and that didn't go too well.
He's not real good at filing paperwork and shit.
Maybe he just forgot to hire somebody for it.
That's the thing.
Who knows what he's been doing?
Try to give him the benefit of the doubt.
That's a possibility.
He should have hired— He is an idiot.
He is an idiot. He should have had
Nancy Mitchell do it. That way
she would have had something to do other than
what comes up soon here. Alright. Now March
5th, 98, this is the offseason.
Spellman has a meeting with
Coach Dave Wonstadt, the head coach.
He wants an assurance that he won't be traded.
The Bears are trading everybody. They have this weird
trade thing going on where they're trading people for draft picks.
Well, the 4-12.
They're trying to burn it down again.
They burned it down four years ago.
They're like, fuck it, let's burn it down again.
None of this is working.
So Wonstadt would not give him an assurance that he wouldn't trade him.
He's like, I can't do that.
I can't guarantee you.
Can't do that, Zoman.
Here's the thing, too.
If you're offered a great quarterback in exchange for a couple of linemen from defense,
you're giving them what they want.
To build your team up, I mean, if it's beneficial to your team, you're going to unload some shit.
They're just dumping shit for draft picks, trying to restock.
Listen, man.
In football, you don't get player for player, generally. At 4-12?
You get player for draft pick.
At 4-12, I'm taking my chances on another 92 draft.
That's the thing.
That's what I'm doing.
You never know.
And these were better drafts, too.
Shit, 98.
Could I pay more?
Oh, get out of here.
You know, things happen.
So Alonzo gets super pissed off and storms out of his office, like, loud, kicking things,
kicking garbage cans.
Defensive line coach Clarence Brooks tries to calm him down and chases him.
He fucking completely ignores the guy, blows past him.
Some little fucking guy trying to, hey, come on, man.
Still got his headset on.
Yeah, still, come on, dude.
We haven't played in months.
It's been three months since we've had a game.
Why are you wearing that shit?
Why are you wearing that shit?
Hooks into my disc, man.
I take it out.
I put it in the other thing.
It works out really well.
Chasing you.
Slow down.
It's skipping.
It's skipping.
Jesus Christ.
Doesn't have the buffer.
Doesn't have it.
So March 5th, 98, he does that.
They don't hear from him until the next day when he announces to the press that he's retiring from football.
What?
That's what he said.
Say you won't trade me, I retire then.
That was his play.
Can you do that?
You can if you don't play anymore.
But if you plan on playing somewhere else, you can't do that.
They still own your rights for years.
You can't just say, I retire and then go somewhere else.
You can retire and write out that contract and then come back.
That's fine.
You can do that all you want, but you're not getting paid.
No.
You're making no money.
That's not happening.
So, yeah, he tells him he's retiring.
He went to Hallis Hall and spoke to his agent and did the whole thing.
He told the team about it and the press.
If they tried to call him, he wouldn't return anything.
The vice president of the Bears, Ted Phillips, said, quote,
we assume he is still a Bear.
Until a player is placed on reserve retired list, he's still on the active roster.
So I don't know.
He's a Bear now.
He's still ours.
I don't know.
He's fucking crazy.
What do we know what he's doing?
So this is terrible. Now, that was march 5th and march 6th now march 9th 1998 yeah this
is when the crazy this is when the crazy jack-in-the-box this is you've been cranking it
this is when it pops out it's just like this is whoa fuck that's crazy. So this is March 9th, 1998. We're in Detroit where Spellman, his family, Spellman's family lives there and he lives there.
Lizzie, his stripper wife, finds him wandering the streets shirtless and shoeless, just wandering around.
So she's like, this is odd.
That's some scary behavior.
What do we do here?
So she loads him in the car to take him to Nancy Mitchell's house in Chicago.
Nancy Mitchell is his publicist.
He is supposed to go to take a steroid test in the morning for the league.
It's a steroid thing.
So he's got to take a test.
He's going down there.
Anyway, he goes down there.
They get in Lizzie's car.
They drive through the night to reach the house at 5.30 in the morning.
Along the way, he's drinking.
He's drinking. He's pissed off.
He's drinking. He's dozing off in and out
of consciousness, drinking. You just think
maybe he just needs to have a few drinks and sleep it off.
Maybe everything will be fine. He gets
there. He finds out that the test
is going to be delayed because there is a
huge blizzard in Chicago.
Huge blizzard. It's a good thing. It's a good thing because it's supposed to be delayed because there is a huge blizzard in Chicago. Okay. Huge blizzard.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
No, because it's supposed to be administered at Nancy Mitchell's house.
Oh.
There's supposed to be a doctor coming.
That's what they do.
So the doctor can't get there through the blizzard.
They knock on your door.
They'll come knock on your door.
There's guys all the time that say, yeah, I'll just get it off season.
I get a knock on my door at six o'clock in the morning.
That's crazy.
I go piss in a cup.
You know, like no matter what I'm doing, I got to stop and go piss in a cup, which is
fucking ridiculous.
But anyway, I don't care if you're on steroids or not.
I don't either.
Juice up, go out there, be fun, be entertaining.
Try not to concuss anybody.
Do you know how much a ticket to a game costs?
Yeah.
You know how much my NFL ticket costs at home?
Pay for those steroids.
Go nuts.
Go crazy.
Invest.
Yeah.
Invest in yourself.
We'll put it that way.
Invest in yourself.
Costs me a lot to watch this shit.
You better perform.
The wait is over.
So far, you're not losing.
The only thing you're losing is my patience.
Quickly, I see that.
Bing!
The queen of the courtroom is back.
I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
Okay, so, um...
This is not a so.
This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
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That's the thing.
So he goes nuts when he finds out that the steroid test will be delayed.
He's like, no, no, no.
Starts losing his mind, rips a phone off the wall, kicks a garbage can, starts doing all this shit.
He's freaking out.
This is at 8 a.m. They got there at 5.30, 8 a.m.
He said, I can't get there. The doctor said, I can't get there at 8am. They got there at 538 AM. He said,
I can't get there.
The doctor said,
I can't get there because of the snowstorm.
Yeah.
Loses his fucking mind.
Uh,
throws a lit cigarette on the floor.
He was a smoker too.
Always a smoker from back in the college.
He's a smoker.
This guy,
which is odd for an athlete in great shape,
but he's a smoker.
What are you,
what are you going to do?
So you can smoke and still have fuck muscles.
There you go.
Go nuts.
No problem.
Yeah.
They're not going to affect your fuck muscles.
So he throws a cigarette butt out on her floor.
And then Nancy Mitchell said, quote, then Alonzo pulled the phone off the wall.
That was the sign that he needed help.
That was our signal that maybe this was something we couldn't handle.
The no shoes, no shirt thing didn't fucking raise a red flag?
Maybe he's OK now.
But now they're like, OK, this is nuts.
He tossed around art objects all around her. Art books? Maybe he's okay now, but now they're like, okay, this is nuts. He tossed around art objects
all around her,
art books and shit he's throwing.
Breaking Fabergé eggs and shit.
Started going nuts.
Then he starts threatening suicide.
Then he starts saying
he's going to kill himself.
Now it's not funny.
Yeah, Nancy Mitchell said
that she knew it was time
to do something
when he said, quote,
I want to kill myself.
She was like, okay,
we need to fix this.
So she's also kind of his personal assistant, publicist.
She takes care of all of his shit, basically.
And her son had died two years ago killing himself.
So this to her is like, she hears I want to kill myself, she's on the phone.
Let's get you help.
So Mitchell said, quote, he was trying to get a reaction from me um he knew he knew he was going to feel the uh the pain the most i told him nothing
you can do won't make me love you so he she was trying to like hey you can't piss me off it's fine
so she ends up dialing 9-1-1 because she can't talk him down now what ends up happening is that
the weather made it so all of the cops are on the road.
All of the cops are out directing traffic.
All the lights are off.
They're tending to accidents.
There's nobody available.
There's no cops to come.
The only cops they have available is the SWAT team.
Oh, God.
All the regular officers are out.
Yeah.
So the SWAT team is dispatched to the house.
They're like, how do we talk?
We have to scale the roof. We have to break out windows. We have to jump in. That's... They're like, how do we talk? We have to scale the roof.
We have to break out windows.
We have to jump in.
That's what we're trained to do.
That's what we're going to do.
So 10 SWAT team guys come.
They have helicopters.
They have machine guns.
They really did it.
They perimeter the deal.
They don't invade the house, but they perimeter.
I mean, they act like it's a fucking...
This is just a guy who said he's going to kill himself.
It's not a hostage situation.
You can just go walk up and talk to him.
You don't have to surround the house. This is only a guy who said he's going to kill himself. It's not a hostage situation. You can just go walk up and talk to him. You don't have to surround the house.
This is only escalating it.
So they're out in the front yard.
He comes out into the doorway.
He's got a big leather belt.
He's swinging it around and snapping it like a whip at him, telling him to get the fuck away from him.
He said that if a SWAT, anybody moved, if anybody moved at all, he would crack the fucking belt like a whip and freak out and say, don't come near me,
goddammit. And so this is the type of
shit, like, this is how people get killed.
Like, some guy could have
just been a little itchy that day and shot him
and they were all unloaded on him. And they didn't
want to kill a bear. No.
You don't want to kill a bear in Chicago.
It's not a great look. It's bad PR, generally.
It's like the Ohio Zoo.
Especially if he doesn't have a gun aimed at you. it's gonna look bad right so it's not good so there
was a gorilla whatever yeah well either one but they're afraid of him they're afraid of him as
shit and they don't know how that the cops are scary he's a huge crazy man who's acting like a
lunatic and they can't reason with right so they have no idea how this standoff is going to end it
goes on for 10 hours what 10 hour 10-hour standoff with the cops.
With a suicidal man.
With this giant suicidal crazy guy.
And he didn't do it in that 10 hours, so he clearly wasn't so devoted to it.
What ends up happening is Mike Singletary, the all-time Bear great, one of the greatest middle linebackers in history.
Probably the best Bear ever.
One of the greatest Bears ever.
Walter Payton might have something to say about that.
Terrible 49ers coach, but a great bear.
Yeah, head coach.
He is driving around.
He hears this shit on the radio.
Wow.
And he's like, what the fuck is going on?
He knows Alonzo Spellman because his rookie year, he was still on the team.
He showed him how to be a bear, right.
So what Mike Singletary does, he hears where it is, and he drives there himself. This guy's a man. What a hero. He drives himself to the team. A bear, right. So what Mike Singletary does, he hears where it is and he drives there himself.
This guy's a man.
What a hero.
He drives himself to the house.
He goes through the cops.
He says, and he's with the cops.
I got this.
He's Mike Singletary.
He just looked down through his eyebrows.
He said, I'm very good in the house.
And they were like, right here, Mr. Singletary.
Right this way, Mr. Singletary.
We'll shovel a path for you.
The scariest eyes in football ever.
Oh, they were.
He was scary.
A monster.
And so he steps into the house.
They let him into the house.
And Alonzo's not going to push Mike Singletary away.
So this is what Mike Singletary said about it.
Quote, Alonzo was just sitting there in a chair in the middle of the room.
And he had been drinking a bit.
And when I walked in and he was just sitting there, I mean, out of it, really out of it.
The only thing he really asked me to do was he
said if you'll promise that you won't leave me you'll stay with me then i'll go so he's scared
at this point alone so he's sitting there scared freaked out and he doesn't want mike singletary
to leave him like he's his dad and he's like please take me he just needs somebody familiar
that knows he's reverted to being like a scared child at this point it's really quite sad what's
going on with him and this is why i say I like this guy and I root for him
and then he fucks it up.
The psychology in that
seems like, though,
he's got a stripper girlfriend
and a female publicist
and his dad left him.
He just wants a guy,
a strong man,
and a dad to be around.
And Mike Singletary
is a guy that you...
That's a dad.
It's a dad type.
That's Mr. Nair.
That's a dad.
He'd yell at you
and you'd listen.
If he tells you what to do,
I don't give a fuck who you are.
You listen to that man. That's a dad.
So Mike takes Alonzo to the hospital.
They go together. The cops let them go together.
Police said no charges are going to be filed against
Alonzo. It was just a little incident and
it probably on their end didn't need to be that
escalated either. They probably could have had one
cop just go and go, hey, you alright Alonzo?
I would have been, you know, we could have figured
something out. We treated this shit
like the negotiator with Samuel L. Jackson.
Yeah.
No, that's true.
Now, there's a cousin of Spellman's who also played for Ohio State, a guy named Larry Walden.
And he just says people are quick to find Spellman menacing because he's huge.
And he said, quote, that standoff was more of an expression of anger inside a person than anything else.
He didn't hurt anyone.
He just said he wasn't leaving. I think the situation with the Bears was building up.
He felt the Bears were turning against him. So he just didn't know
what to do. So he goes to the hospital.
They take him to the hospital in Chicago.
Now, it doesn't end there, though, because two days later, he is
at the Good Shepherd Hospital in Barrington,
and Lake County Sheriff deputies have to find him because he wanders off from the hospital.
Oh, my God.
They find him.
They find him.
A sheriff, an undersheriff named Gary Stryker said he left the hospital around 1120 a.m.,
and police found him walking barefoot wearing only hospital pants no
shirt this was a blizzard two days ago so it's fucking cold cold and he's walking around just
wandering around a few hundred yards from the hospital grounds just kind of wandering off with
just pants on so they had to kind of grab him and say oh no this way back that way like a duckling
they had to kind of push him back on the path. He didn't make any fuss or anything.
He didn't fight them.
He just went, oh, okay, and he went back, and that was it.
So he's just like out of it.
Singletary said, quote, I'm concerned he gets surrounded by the right people.
Right now the most important thing is to get Alonzo being Alonzo.
Forget about Alonzo the football player for right now.
Good plan.
Yeah.
Good plan.
It's a sane argument.
That's a very, very logical thing to do, a logical thought.
Now, while he's at the hospital, they diagnose what is wrong with him.
Oh?
And he's very bipolar.
Yeah.
Very bipolar.
And this is pretty clear.
Now his behavior starts to make sense.
Erotic, antisocial behavior.
Very bipolar.
Very happy one day.
Right, right.
Just kicking things and sullying the knives.
It's very bipolar.
It really makes sense.
He says, we have an in their own words on his diagnosis because he doesn't
accept it very well. Really?
He says in their own words, quote,
he said I had bipolar disorder one
and he went into explaining it
and I was like, you know what?
You know what I mean? Who wants to hear
that they have chemicals in their brain that
just do what they want to do sometimes? Who wants to hear
that? He's like, I can't
handle it.
But it happens.
You've got to deal with it.
It does happen, and you do have to deal with it.
Otherwise, you just deny medical science that treats that stuff,
and you don't want to be Tommy Gunn.
You don't want to be that guy.
No, and there's a doctor from that medical center that said, no, you really don't.
Said it's not uncommon for bipolar disorder to emerge in the mid 20s. Someone's mid 20s.
They said it's a biological disorder and could be after puberty.
It happens.
Any kind of dramatic thing can trigger it.
And something like him thinking the bears and all that, that could trigger it or just
anything could.
I mean, it could have been the woman.
It could have been, you know, relationships trigger it.
Extra smashes in the head.
Extra smashes in the head.
Your fuck muscles not being what they used to be. Things happen.
So he
has got to take medication
and do all of that
to control this. He decides he's not
taking shit. He will not treat
this shit. He's fine. He's
going to self-medicate with alcohol and
whatever drugs he can get his hands on.
This isn't turning out well. See what I mean?
After only a week's stay at the hospital, he's off to Detroit again. He takes off, goes to Detroit, drugs he can get his hands on listen out this isn't turning out well see what i mean uh after
only a week stay at the hospital he's off to detroit again he takes off goes to detroit
march 19th this is 10 days later they the press talks to his wife and the wife blames the bears
for the meltdown lizzie spellman said that uh what happened was her and alonzo were in the press
interviewed a stripper they interviewed a stripper, and they called her Mrs. Spellman.
Mrs. Spellman, please call me.
Send this is please call me Lizzie.
That's not my real name.
Call me at any rate.
So she said they were on a vacation in Puerto Rico.
Yeah.
And they had to leave early because the bears were trying to trade him.
And he had to come home to talk about his situation to dave wonstadt so they they cut a vacation short puerto rico short and
flew to chicago in the middle of winter to talk to him about this and then he fly me into a blizzard
and discuss me not being here piss him off because they don't tell him what he wants to hear and so
she says quote he told me i just want to walk in there and be a bear and stay here my last two years was all he wanted.
The whole meeting lasted only three minutes, she says.
She says, I don't know whether Wonstadt told him I don't know whether to keep you or trade
you.
And Spellman told doctors to keep at this point, too.
He's Spellman's telling the doctors at the hospital told him to keep the wife away.
He doesn't want to talk to his publicist. He doesn't want to talk to anybody.
He's just kind of freaking out.
So she says.
Sometimes you just want to be alone.
That's what I mean.
But she's there for him.
She says when the dust settles, I'll be there for him.
I hope he knows that.
That's what she says in the paper.
That's March 98.
That's a stripper that hates stripping.
Yeah.
So April 1998.
When the dust settles and the lights shut off in the strip club,
I just want to go home.
Yeah.
So April 98,
she divorces him.
Stripper logic.
I love it.
I just want him.
I hope he knows
I'll be there for him
when the dust settles.
$300.
I'm going to file this paperwork.
I would like to divorce you now.
So he shows up.
He's now getting divorced. He shows up. He's now getting divorced.
He shows up.
He's dyed his hair blonde.
What?
Blonde.
May as well.
A stripper left you.
Go nuts, man.
Super black, too.
So he looks just like a crazy person with his blonde hair.
His shit doesn't look right at all.
And Demolition Man was five years earlier.
It's all that.
Yeah, you're looking like Wesley Snipes.
It's not great.
That Cisco shit was so long ago.
Wesley Snipes so long ago.
Even Dennis Rodman had quit by then.
Yeah.
So now she also files a temporary restraining order against him for his assets.
Yeah.
She says, quote, he has, quote, commenced a course of conduct to deplete the party's assets.
That is the smartest thing I've ever heard out of a stripper's mouth.
I don't think she said that.
I think her wife.
She was like, he's outspending all our money fucking women.
And he went, he has commenced a course of action to deplete the party's assets.
Don't say the part about fucking women, please.
Don't say that.
So, yeah.
So, a circuit court judge here issues an order in favor of Lizzie, limiting Alonzo Spellman's access to the money.
It remains in effect until April 23rd.
It's like a couple weeks, so they can do deals.
The assets include $1.4 million in one bank account and another bank account.
So he's got money, and he's trying to spend it, and he can't.
So he had everything going for him, and now a year later, he's got a stripper's telling him he's not allowed to have his own money.
So we're sorry for the stripper, stripper, stripper.
But we're just trying to illustrate that he wasn't looking for.
He wasn't like, I'm trying to find a woman who's like, you know, maybe someone who does like pharmaceutical sales.
Somebody who's got a nice career.
Somebody bringing some extra shit to the table.
He was like, she's got drugs.
That's what he found., she's got drugs. That's all it was.
She got drugs.
So they say, Lizzie Spellman says that they allege that Alonzo gave his mother $30,000
and gave each of his sisters $15,000.
Okay.
Which, that's his fucking right.
He's the one out there getting head injuries.
Right.
He can do that all he wants.
But she's saying, no, you can't do that because-
Because we're married and it's half mine.
And it's half mine.
And it's half mine. So you're giving $7,500 away of my money every time you give away $15,000.
He also, they do say something here that's actually a nice thing that he did and a smart thing. He has three children by three different mothers as we know in three different states.
You know, he's whatever. He set up $300,000 annuities for all three kids. Beautiful. That a
boy. And each one has a $100,000 college account. I love it. Also. So that was
good. That was when he was thinking straight.
And he's not a bad guy. That's what I mean. He's like, I'm going to
set my kids up, even though I never see them because I'm
absentee dad. Let's also
not give him too much credit.
And somebody may have recommended he do
that. Yeah. Well, things are getting weird
here. A month later, May 27th,
1998, he's in Detroit.
And cops have to douse him with pepper
spray after he tries to
break up a fight at a hotel between
two female members of his crew.
Oh boy. His crew?
He's got an entourage and
it's so big that the chicks are fighting each other.
The chicks are fighting each other.
And like we said before,
those never end well.
They always look bad. A woman looks stupid taking a punch. Like like we said before, those never end well. No. They're terrible.
They always look bad.
A woman looks stupid taking a punch.
Like we've said, no matter how, whatever.
Just don't take offense to that. It looks so sad.
It's a joke from another episode.
Women look so sad getting hit.
Either listen to it all as a callback or go fuck yourself.
I watched my mom get hit.
It looks terrible.
Anyway, he's at this Detroit hotel.
He's at the Westin.
He's checking into the Westin when two women accompanying his crew members started fighting.
One woman stabbed the other woman.
So that's the kind of women he's associating with, women that travel in entourages and stab each other.
Carrie Blades.
That's a very specific group of women that he's got there.
Spellman tries to get in between them, and it takes five security officers to try to subdue him before they finally just use pepper spray because he's a giant guy and they make $8 an hour if they're lucky
back then.
So, yeah.
Police officer.
I'm sorry.
That was a police officer that finally used the pepper spray, not even a security guard.
So, yeah.
So, anyway, that spring, too, in the spring here, the May and all this, he turns up at
a Chicago club called Crow Bar to model in a gay and lesbian fashion show.
Yeah, of course he did.
In which he was dressed in a skirt and shit,
to which at some point the skirt came off,
so he just began dancing around the club
with his dick flopping around.
So now he's dancing around a gay club.
I knew it was going to be an awesome story
as soon as you said the Crowbar. I was like, that's a gay bar, bro. No, he just went around. It around a gay club. I knew it was going to be an awesome story as soon as you said the crowbar.
I was like, that's a gay bar, bro.
No, he just went around.
It was a gay bar.
He just went around dancing, swinging his cock around like a fucking bear.
Hell yes.
Unbelievable.
That's awesome.
He's a skirt gay bar.
He's having a ball, this guy right now.
So good.
Now, June 3rd, 1998, he's supposed to show up for voluntary workouts for the Bears.
And as we know in football, they're voluntary, but they're really not voluntary.
You have to show up.
He doesn't show up.
The team doesn't hear from him.
He's like totally MIA.
So later on in June, after all this shit, standoffs and all this, they just release him.
The Bears release him in June.
Now, later on that summer, he's got all sorts of shit going on here.
He gets stopped in his car by police in Wisconsin, and he acknowledges that he has a.380 pistol in the passenger door.
There was a search.
They found the firearm.
He's arrested on a felony offense.
The charges were actually dropped on that because the search was determined to be illegal. So he got lucky on that one. He fucking dodged it. He also has another
gun possession charge in New Jersey and another one in Michigan. He's always carrying. Yeah.
So this is three different states in a summer. He's he's got the one in Michigan. We'll get
into a little later. But he he ends up missing court dates. He had a three fifty seven and
a nearly empty bottle of Boone's Farm in his car.
We're going to get into that because it's fucking hilarious.
He's drinking like a 17-year-old.
Oh, what he says about it is amazing, what he says about the Boone's Farm.
About the guns, there's an article I saw, a big, long piece,
that is using Barry Switzer getting caught with a gun at the airport,
the ex-Cowboys and Oklahoma University coach,
and Alonzo getting busted with guns as a pro-gun argument that good people,
citizens like that, should never be arrested for having guns,
even if they have them loaded or illegally or in an airport or anything.
No.
Because they're good people.
Fuck you.
They're just saying, Alonzo, he's a good guy.
It's hilarious.
Here is, in their own words, and him with guns, He says, quote, guns are the equalizer of the world.
It's not something when your size makes a difference anymore.
A lot of people have problems with athletes.
Either they don't like us or they don't like the way we play.
We're riding around in a Mercedes Benz.
Our salaries are in the paper and it makes me uneasy not to be protected.
I've been in situations all my life where I wouldn't have been anything new to me to be approached and be able to protect myself.
He's not wrong in a way.
I mean, he's wrong in that statement.
But the other part of that statement should have been there's gambling on our fucking game.
And if I do something that causes somebody to lose a bunch of money, they may want to kill me.
Yeah, or they just people are dicks, too.
So, yeah, I can agree with that.
But don't fuck up, first of all.
You're paid very highly to do a job.
Do the fucking job.
Don't cost somebody a bunch of money.
And also, too, how about don't be anywhere near where those people would be at?
That's another thing.
You're rich enough to not have to be there.
Now, later on that summer, he is spotted being led into Dennis Rodman's club called Illusions,
which is like a crazy place, as you might imagine, by another, it's the Chicago club, by a male who is walking Alonzo in.
Alonzo is wearing a metal studded dog collar and being dragged, brought in by a leash by
a guy.
Oh my God.
Into a club.
So he's getting freaky.
Yeah.
Alonzo getting freaky.
This shit is getting real weird.
It's getting freaky. Yeah. Alonzo getting freaky. This shit is getting real weird. It's getting weird. But in Alonzo's defense, maybe he was told to wear that by Dennis Rodman.
Because I could see Dennis Rodman being like, yo, this is leash night, bro.
We got a ton of stuff.
You can only show up with the leash.
Yes, absolutely.
Get that leash on and go.
August 4th, police stop him in New Jersey.
They get a weapons warrant for that.
He spends a night in jail for that.
Yeah. August 7th, he shows up. He spends a night in jail for that. Yeah.
August 7th, he shows up.
Now, he's been cut by the bears.
This is like he's been arrested three days before, but he shows up for a workout with the Jaguars.
Jaguars are still interested in him.
They wanted him two years ago, and they still want him.
The team ends up passing on him after they gave him a psychological evaluation.
Yeah.
He showed up with a dog collar?
Well, it's one of those things where they're like, you can treat bipolar and you're not
doing it.
So you have no, and he was like, I'm fine.
Right.
I'm cool about that.
And we're going to have a quote on this with him being like, well, it ain't no thing for
me.
Yeah.
He doesn't make the team, but he's fine because the judge unfreezes his assets.
Oh, that's nice.
So now he's got cash, no real need for a paycheck.
Yeah.
Money's coming in.
And so, hey, he's having a good time. Time to knock up another broad. Well, one of the kids
seeks to up their child support from $2,000 a month to somewhere else. He needs more than $2,000
a month as a child? Apparently so. Jesus. Now, September 1998, this is the one we talked about.
Oh, this is a different one here. Sorry. September 1998 in Benton Harper, Michigan, Alonzo was found
in the middle of the night sleeping in his car, which that happens.
People do that in the middle of the night, but probably not parked in the fast lane of
the I-94 highway.
Holy shit.
That's probably not where you fall asleep in your car.
It's very rare.
You fall asleep before maybe a parking lot, maybe somebody's driveway.
Maybe a rest stop.
Not off on the shoulder.
No.
In the fast lane.
They're like, why is that car stopped?
Oh, there's a giant guy sleeping in there.
Now, he refuses to acknowledge his illness, and here's an in their own words on how he's
fine.
I'm good now.
I'm good now.
He says in their own words, quote, the medical diagnosis, it doesn't, as far as I'm concerned,
it doesn't apply to me at all, because I don't take the drugs.
I haven't taken them ever since this thing at the hospital. And I haven't had any problems, you know.
And I'm not going to have any problems.
Obviously, right?
Obviously, he's not going to have any problems.
He forgot about the freeway already.
He did.
I mean, he just had a bunch of problems.
A ton of problems.
A ton of problems.
I'm good now.
I don't need the drugs.
I'm good now.
Sure, man.
Now, what does he do at this point?
So, he's got, let's recap real quick.
He's got, you know, he's been, he's doing drugs.
He's married when things are going badly.
He's done all this stuff.
What's he going to do now?
Moves back to his hometown.
You betcha.
Of course he does.
You betcha.
Because that is a crime and sports rule.
Here's the thing, too.
With mental illness, if you're prescribed the medication and you don't take it, your
other option is fucking focus on you then.
There's no boozing.
There's no drugging.
You don't get to do that stuff if you're not balancing your life.
And take your fucking medication.
Right.
Take your prescription.
I was prescribed a bunch of it, and I refused to take it because I hate drugs.
I don't take it.
But it's for depression, not bipolar.
That's a good point.
That's different.
That's different.
I don't mind being a little sad.
As long as you're not suicidal, That's a good point. That's different. That's different. I don't mind being a little sad. As long as you're not suicidal,
it's fine. You don't want it to affect
your weird... Because as comics,
we're very weird with our brain chemistry
because our weird shit,
that's what makes us a living, is being
able to think of odd shit that people don't
think of. So if that's dulled, you might not be
able to. That's what comics think of. That's the
creative part. Bipolar's a different thing
completely. That's a chemical imbalance. You need to fix that shit. That creative is finding new ways to open a vein. Yeah, that's what comics think that's the creative part bipolar is a different thing completely that's a chemical imbalance you need to fix that shit that creative is finding new
ways to open a vein yeah that's what i'm saying so he's staying in a seedy hotel in mount holly
he's got you know he's hanging out going to like all the old neighborhood places he went to
and all the kids are treating him like he's a fucking celebrity because he is and they're like
oh shit and he's huge and he picks up the tab when he's down at the convenience store he'll pick up the tab for everybody down there buy all the kids
candy shit like that um he continues to uh mitchell nancy mitchell had she's not he's not even paying
her anymore she's still helping him um she said because i guess he was there for her when her son
died yeah so she's going to be there for him she says quote alonzo helped me rediscover who i am
now i'm just supposed to drop him because he's sick so that's nice she's going to be there for him. She says, quote, Alonzo helped me rediscover who I am. Now I'm just supposed to drop him
because he's sick. So that's nice. She's
got his back. Unlike a silver-haired
middle-aged white man, she's like, I'm not
even making money, but he's a good person. So
she's not a silver-haired middle-aged white woman
anyway. Kind of like me and you right now.
Yes, exactly. We're not even making any money, but I'm here for you.
We're here for you. I'm here for you.
So December 30th, 1998,
lawyers for Spellman asked to have, because he's got more, by the
way, he's got more assets locked down from another case.
So they're trying to get those released so he can support an out of wedlock child born
earlier this month.
So that's his fourth kid.
So he's like, hey, all those child support, I need to get a little more because I got
another one now. He's requesting that another 2, all those child support, I need to get a little more because I got another one now.
He's requesting that another $2,000
be freed up from an investment account so
he can pay that. And he also has to have
unlimited access to his checking account because he's like,
well, I'm filing. What the fuck? I'm going to try to get
some cash out of this. So July 30th,
1999.
Things have been a mess for this guy.
He signs with the NFL football team.
Which one? Well, who do you think?
I'll give you two guesses.
The Lions?
No, no, no.
Two guesses.
The Raiders?
No, that'd be my number one.
Cowboys.
There you go.
It's the Cowboys.
And I wrote next to it, the Raiders must have been full.
Because that's the only reason why.
Roster full.
Yep.
Hilarious.
Cowboys will take a chance on anybody like that.
He accepts a one-year contract for the veteran minimum of $400,000.
He can make another $400,000 in incentives.
His agent, Lee Steinberg, who's a super agent extraordinaire, said, quote,
Alonzo is very enthusiastic about the ability to play football again.
Dallas has been evaluating Alonzo for many, many weeks now.
He has made great progress in his battle against emotional illness,
and they're satisfied that he can be a productive player.
All right. Whatever you say. He's on the team they love him there uh in november 21st 1999 in the dallas media he announces i found god oh fuck crime and sports
rule number three or whatever don't find religion when things are going bad don't get married don't
move home don't find religion he is one two, two, three. Boom. On that shit.
Yahtzee.
Yahtzee.
So he announces he has found God.
He becomes real Jesus buddies with Deion Sanders.
Oh, no.
All that shit.
They're like all Jesus-y buddy and all that crap.
Whatever.
Good for you if that gets you out of whatever.
But I think he's just trying to fit in.
It doesn't save people with bipolar shit.
He needs medication.
Then he can worry about Jesus once he takes his medication. Right. Go to church.
I can give a shit. Get sane and then figure
out Jesus. Get sane, then get saved.
You don't go the opposite. Perfect. There you go. That's a good idea.
So 1999, he starts
all 16 games with Dallas. They use him.
He has five sacks. Dallas goes 8-8,
but they make the playoffs that year. That was that weird
year where they made the playoffs at 500.
They lose to Minnesota in the first round.
Chan Gailey gets shit-canned, the coach there.
Now, January.
In 99?
In 99, yeah, after this, you guys.
Was that when the Vikings played the Falcons?
They claimed that the Falcons could hear their headset monitors,
and the Falcons went to the Super Bowl and Denver annihilated them.
Yes, that is the one.
Now, we have another fluff piece, January 7, 2000, called Spellman Sees the Light.
All right.
About how he's good now.
Everything's fine.
It's his rebirth as a man and a football player.
And it's the whole deal.
He says, summing this whole finding God and all this up into one thing here, he says in their own words, quote,
anybody who thinks football is the important thing in my life
is really missing the point.
Jesus is really the number one thing in my life,
and that's the only reason why everything else is okay.
Jesus Christ is the only thing that makes me happy every morning
and makes me happy every night.
It really is.
He had to beat me down and really take everything away from me
in order for me to just listen to him.
And I listen. Whenever you have the Lord in your life He had to beat me down and really take everything away from me in order for me to just listen to him.
And I listen.
Of course. Whenever you have the Lord in your life and he's the number one focus in your life, everything is so easy.
Jesus Christ can do anything.
He's a physician.
He's a lawyer.
He's a doctor.
He's everything.
He really is.
Tell me more, Alonzo.
No, he's not.
He's a carpenter.
Take your fucking medication.
Take your medication.
Anybody that says Jesus Christ
in their argument for Jesus
or for God, I'm out. I'm out.
If they claim he's a lawyer, I think you've
thought into it too much. Jesus is not a lawyer.
And you keep saying Jesus Christ like I think you're
joking. Yeah. So
the 2000 season,
2000 with Dallas,
15 games started.
Real quickly, that's more ridiculous than what the Red Tarzan called the Jews.
Yes, yes.
I believe he called Jesus a kike agent of the Musad.
That's not me.
That's less ridiculous.
They're close, let's just say.
I didn't call him a k kayak agent of the Musad.
That's a quote, by the way.
A quote that I liked having music under, so you know it wasn't me.
But now I had to say it.
God damn you, Jimmy.
Now it's isolated.
So 2000 with Dallas, 15 games started and five sacks in there.
So not bad.
Dallas goes 5-11.
They're under coach Dave Campo, who looks like he just had a head injury.
Dave Campo is a moron.
I saw the hard knock show when he was the coach.
He was awful.
2001, he signs with the Detroit Lions.
Oh, he does play with the Lions.
Yeah, he ends up playing with the Lions.
Plays in five games, has one sack.
The Lions release him.
Of course.
After he's released by the Lions, he starts taking his medication.
Holy shit.
Too little, too late.
Yeah, he manages his bipolar disorder.
This is what, with the end of the Cowboys and the Lions is when he started taking the
medication.
So the last, like, two years he's been taking medication.
That's why everyone's saying he's doing better.
Gotcha.
It makes him think he knows Jesus personally, but at least he's...
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And now back to the show.
As soon as he gets out of the league and gets cut
by the Lions, he stops taking his
medication. And guess what? Problems
happen.
July 16, 2002,
he's arrested in Dearborn, Michigan, on
charges of drunken driving.
ends up having a hearing.
He has a felony weapons charge, misdemeanor carrying open intoxicants in a vehicle while driving without a license.
Also, he has no license.
Oh, God.
His attorney, silver-haired, middle-aged white man named Milton Henry, said that the arresting officer basically saying that he said it was wine, the arresting officer, and they're trying
to parse semantics saying that it's Boone's Farm fuzzy navel wine, so it's not really
wine.
They're literally doing like that.
They're going to try and nitpick it.
They're like, this is what 16-year-old girls drink.
There's no way this is going to mess up my man.
Well, the lawyer, that's exactly what that's the strategy.
The lawyer said to the officer, did you taste the liquid?
At any point from the beginning, since the beginning of this world to this point, has this liquid been tested?
And they said, no, it's fucking boomswarm.
We know what it is.
And unbelievable.
So Spellman testifies in this and talks to him.
And they ask him if he had been drinking in his truck when he was arrested.
And guess what he says in their own words?
Quote, yes, yes, yes, my man. Everybody knows I was drinking in my truck when he was arrested. And guess what he says? Yes. In their own words, quote, yes, yes, yes, my man.
Everybody knows I was drinking in my truck, man.
That's Boone's Farm.
That's like Kool-Aid to me.
It's what, 5% judge?
I'd take a fifth of Hennessy to even get me high.
Man, you know how I drank that shit.
Jesus.
That's what he tells the judge.
Wow.
Man, you know how I drank that shit.
Nike will 3%.
He said, yes, yes, yes.
Everybody knows I was drinking.
That was like Rick James in the Chappelle show.
Yeah, I rubbed dirt on Eddie.
Yeah, I rubbed my feet on Eddie's couch.
I rubbed my feet on Eddie's couch.
Of course I rubbed my feet.
He said, what?
You just said no.
So unbelievable.
Oh, Jesus.
This isn't the only thing he says, too.
He gets pissed off because they end up having another hearing.
He says, if fucking lawyers are all the same, I don't want to have anything to do with none of them
uh he would say uh he's openly he said i would say i'm openly angry is what he says
no shit who's not he doesn't doesn't show back up for court they issue an arrest for his
arrest warrant for him and now we come to the craziest shit of this entire episode. Okay?
Here it comes.
July 23, 2002.
His mother and his sister pick him up in Vegas.
He's in Vegas.
And they want him to go to a psychiatric hospital back home in South Jersey.
Got it. So they get him.
They take him to the airport in Vegas.
He's going to stop in Cincy.
He's got to stop over.
And then that flight goes to Philly.
And then he goes. Because Philly is right by Jersey. So, yeah. He does that. He's going to stop in Cincy. He's got to stop over. And then that flight goes to, next flight goes to Philly.
And then he goes, because Philly's right by Jersey.
So yeah, he does that.
He's going to Philly.
So he gets on the flight.
He's fine from Vegas to Cincy.
No issues.
Sits, gets off.
Gets on the flight from Cincy to New Jersey or to Philly.
There is a problem with the seating. Apparently there's a computer glitch that forced, it just, it was a glitch in some kind of problem that just seeded everybody alphabetically by accident.
Yeah.
So it gave him a middle seat.
Uh-oh.
He's 6'4".
He's 300 pounds at this point.
He's not fitting in the fucking middle at all.
That's a square peg in a round hole.
It's not going to work.
Now, if you're a guy next to him, if you're the guy sitting on the aisle and you're 5'10",
a buck for you, go switch with me.
I don't give a shit.
You know what I mean?
Who cares?
There's a fat guy over there.
Cram me in.
It's a three-hour flight. Who gives a shit? Not even. It's two you. Go switch with me. I don't give a shit. You know what I mean? Who cares? There's a fat guy over there. Cram me in. It's a three-hour flight.
Who gives a shit?
Not even.
It's two hours.
It's two hours.
From Cincy to Philly, it's probably an hour and a half.
It's nothing.
So the flight attendant says that he should stand up and announce that he would like to
change seats.
And would anybody change with him?
Because obviously I'm gigantic.
Is there anybody who would mind sitting in the middle?
And somebody's going to volunteer when that big man stands up.
That's what I mean.
So instead, he starts drinking and quoting the Bible.
In the middle seat?
It's always scary when a giant scary man quotes the Bible in closed quarters.
This is 2002.
That's right.
Post 9-11.
This is July 2002.
Right after.
This is 10 months after 9-11.
This is terrifying.
It gets worse, okay?
He began to shout that if God didn't want the plane to land in Philadelphia, then it would11. This is terrifying. It gets worse, okay? He began to shout that if God
didn't want the plane to land in Philadelphia
then it would crash. Oh boy.
He began talking about bombs
and planes crashing into mountains.
And he remarked,
quote, I hope we make it to Philadelphia
before this plane crashes into a building.
You can't say this shit 10 months after
9-11. I don't know if you were in any other country here.
You had to keep blinders on in the plane and you button it you
shut the fuck up everybody was very you don't even say i'm gonna get so drunk right now i'm
gonna get bombed you don't say that shit you shut your mouth that's what i'm saying so when
uh the flight attendant a woman named danielle eller speaks to spellman about chilling the fuck
out he asked he asked her if she was a Christian.
That's his response.
She quietly answered that, yes, she was.
And so he commanded her to say loud that she was a Christian.
He wanted her to shout it out to everybody.
She tried to ignore his behavior.
And then she saw him swinging his arms in the air and saying in a loud voice, I will smash your fucking head in with my cleats.
I will.
He's saying that to another passenger.
Starts verbally accosting other passengers.
A young woman with a small child in front of him starts yelling at her, calls her a
whore, tells her that she's not a Christian.
Her baby starts crying when he's yelling at her.
He says, shut that fucking baby up.
This is like a bad rap song at this point.
Shut that fucking baby up while I'm robbing you.
He thinks he's James Brown.
Say it loud.
I'm Christian and proud.
Yeah, so this woman, this Karen Weaver, says that she's traveling with these small kids,
so please stop cursing.
He says, fuck you.
Who the fuck do you think I am?
Blah, blah, blah.
He's yelling at her.
So then he starts criticizing what she was dressed on, what she was what she was dressed he starts saying oh what type of mother are you i bet you lift up your dress and
let your husband fuck you while your kids are watching he's saying the shit in the middle of
the plane uh so the she just stopped and was like oh shit he's crazy i'm not gonna talk she said i
just sat there and took it he called me a whore talked about my private parts he's yelling this
and that the whole plane could hear what he was saying.
So Christian.
At that point, I started to cry.
Very Christian.
Spellman then realized that next to her was her husband, which is glaring at him, but he's not going to fight the guy.
No.
So Spellman says, what are you going to do about it, Dad?
And then so he starts saying, the guy's thinking, what am I going
to do about it?
He's like, I can't do anything physically to this fucking guy.
You're saying everything I've wanted to say to her for years.
Yeah.
So then he starts talking out loud about opening the door in mid-flight.
Uh-oh.
And so they're like, what the fuck, man?
So passengers are starting to make a plan to take him down.
Literally.
They're like, we got to take this guy down.
So we did it on 9-11.
We'll do it today.
Yeah.
They all think they're fucking heroes now, too is our chance guys let's roll this is our chance
uh one of the passengers goes and hides in the bathroom for the remainder of the flight that's me
locks himself in i gotta shit i'm staying in here a while now uh when they land police
spellman said they had to make an emergency landing spellman says they're gonna have to
carry me off in a body bag if police come in here.
So that's not something you want to hear.
God damn it.
The captain, Robert D. Froond, who's not exactly Sully over here, he radios in and asks for priority handling.
Can we get an escort?
Yeah.
He leads him past.
He's trying to get the passengers past him off the plane.
And he just he was so the captain goes over to talk to him.
Basically, he said – and he tries to make a joke.
He says, quote, I wanted to see what had set him off, if it had been something Delta had done, like losing his bags.
He's like, did we lose his bags?
Is that what pissed him off?
Is this our fault?
What the fuck?
Did we not have Diet Ginger Ale?
What's happening?
There's a giant black man losing his shit.
Did we do something wrong?
Did we do that?
Diet ginger ale?
What's happening?
There's a giant black man losing his shit.
Did we do something wrong? Did we do that?
So the captain ultimately says that he tells him he has to stop his conduct.
And if he doesn't stop, he's going to get arrested.
This is when Spellman said that, fuck you.
I'll get off because I'm bipolar.
He starts spewing that shit.
And then he starts getting worse after that.
This is when he really starts going.
There's a way to get worse because Spellman tells the captain
that he will rip his fucking throat out.
Oh, my God.
He says, you see these hands?
There's adrenaline pumping through my hands.
I want to rip your fucking throat out right now, he tells him.
He's this giant guy standing in front of him.
So anyway, they land.
This all goes on. By the time they stop, Spellman just gets up,
walks right by the captain and the couple he just accosted and just huddles at the front of the
plane for a while. No, like huddles, like sits down in like fetal position for a little while.
Oh, my God. And then he gets up, leaves the plane. They let him get off the plane because
they don't know what to do with him, basically.
Yeah.
He stalks around menacingly in the baggage area for over 45 minutes.
Oh, my God.
With the cops just like surrounding him the whole time, like letting him walk.
But they're like following him back and forth.
Like, let's see what he does.
And he eventually they let him leave the airport and they didn't stop him.
What?
They had to make.
No, no.
OK.
I don't understand. No, no. Okay.
I don't understand.
There's no punishment for that?
He's allowed to leave the airport after they question him a little bit
and they let him go.
After that, they arrest him
once they figure out what the fuck he did
because I don't think they,
I think they had to get a report
on what happened here.
He's taken to a psychiatric hospital
later on that day,
not even because of the plane incident
because then he went to his brother's house in Mount Holly, broke in, kicked the door down, broke windows, broke pictures,
threw shit around, trashed the house.
The brother wasn't home.
Somebody called the cops.
He ends up getting taken by the police to a psychological, to a psychiatric hospital.
Yeah.
So we have an in their own words on what the fuck was going on here.
In their own words, quote, I pretty much thought that was it.
That was the end.
So I started to act out and had another manic episode.
What came to my mind, whatever came to my mind, I said it.
And I said it out loud and I said it very aggressively.
And it rubbed some people the wrong way.
You think that rubbed people thinking you're going to crash a plane and calling your wife a whore?
I'm 2,000 miles away in a studio, and I'm terrified.
And 15 years later, and I'm scared.
That's what I mean.
Defense team doctor talks to him for 10 hours to prepare for the defense.
He's a complete silver-haired, middle-aged white man this day.
He says, what my opinion is, and still is today, is that the illness created a situation where he couldn't monitor himself.
He couldn't stop himself.
You know, we'd have sympathy for him if it was heart disease, you know.
People wouldn't stop and question, did he do this to himself?
He didn't do this to himself.
This is a no-fault brain disorder.
Yeah, that's true.
Fuck that, though.
You're a giant person that you know has a fucking disorder that makes you go crazy.
Fucking take your medicine.
Manage it.
This is like having a fucking huge dog and not walking around with a leash on it and
then being like, they had no way that the dog would attack it.
Guess what?
There's a clue because it's a giant fucking dog.
And the dogs bite and giant people who have bipolar disorder cause fucking problems.
They bite.
Fuck.
You need a leash if you're going to wander around.
Maybe that's what it was at that bar with the leash.
Maybe that's what it was.
Somebody was just keeping them under control.
Keeping them under control.
He's like, I won't take my medicine.
They're like, I'm going to do that.
You're going to need this studded leash then. So they put him under control. Keeping him under control. He's like, I won't take my medicine. They're like, I'm going to do that. You're going to need this studded leash then.
So they put him in there.
At this point now, they're starting to charge him federally with some stuff.
On August 13, 2002, a judge says that he's got to remain in jail while he waits for his airline rage trial.
He denies bail, saying that his spellment is dangerous and shouldn't be released.
The first smart person in this whole fucking case.
He is charged with terrorizing 138 people on the flight, two counts of simple assault
also, forcing the plane to make an emergency landing.
January 7, 2003, he pleads guilty to charges that he interfered with a flight crew on a
Delta Airlines flight and also two counts of simple assault.
On January 29, federal prosecutors announced they want Alonzo Spellman to
serve a prison term for threatening the passengers
and crew. The prosecutor
said Spellman should get
prison time when he's sentenced on February 3rd.
She asked that he be given the term of four to ten
months. She says,
quote, he shows no true appreciation
for the lasting fear and harm he inflicted
on the people on the plane, saying that he
can't believe that he is in jail for a little cursing, because that's what he said.
Without a real understanding of that harm and serious commitment to our plan for better
mental health, the government contends that this defendant will only repeat his harmful
conduct.
Probably smart.
Spellman's attorney says that jail time's inappropriate because he's been held since
August anyway, and that all of his outbursts throughout history are due to bipolar.
He's never harmed anyone.
He just needs medication.
She said, quote, he's not a hardened criminal.
He's a person who suffers from mental illness.
He has been on medication since he's been detained and he is stable.
Yes, because he's taking medication.
So that's why he's stable.
February 2003, the judge asked Spellman if he would like to address the court. This is for
sentencing. The judge says, how are you doing, Mr. Spellman? He says, doing fine, judge. And I would
like to say that I understand I was wrong, and that's why I pled guilty. I've had a chance to
see myself through the eyes of other people. I now know I need to take my medicine. Well, no shit.
Thankfully. He said, I know I need help. The judge says, you heard what these people had to say.
And Spellman said, yes, sir.
So the judge said they were scared.
And it's unfortunate that had to happen.
He then talks about how he was taking a bunch of amphetamines.
Oh, my God.
While he played football and while he was going.
He's taking a lot of amphetamines to stay up and stay aggressive and all that.
And, you know, that's bad for his mental health also.
Yeah.
to stay up and stay aggressive and all that.
And, you know, that's bad for his mental health also.
Yeah.
So the judge said that, well, don't worry because you will receive blue chip treatment in this prison system and Spelman not.
And then she said, you have many years ahead of you and I hope that you can leave your
demons behind and said, you, sir, may fuck off 18 years or 18, not years, 18 months.
You, sir, may fuck off less than that. OK. 18 months in federal prison. That's steep. I 18 months. You surveyed fuck off less than that.
Okay.
18 months in federal prison.
I was going to say, that's steep.
I can't believe I didn't hear about that.
I know.
You almost feel bad for him.
I mean, because he's done all this shit, and you got fucking scared people on the airlines.
Yeah.
His goddamn kids are everywhere.
Yeah.
Who knows?
His mom's still working at the goddamn hatchery.
Yeah.
The bears got a shitty pick.
The 92 draft was awful.
The cowboys got fucked over.
Everybody's screwed.
I feel bad
for all these people really do but not nearly as bad as the one alonzo spellman on the face
of the earth i found out him who is a white kid with a facebook profile white kid named alonzo
he's a white kid with a facebook profile where he's standing there with a shirt off
and that's all i know about him i'm sorry white kid on facebook that's the only alonzo that kid gives alonzo spellman a bad name i have to yeah he does he does i had to
friend request him to get more information like fuck this kid i know you exist that's good enough
for me whatever so he's forced to take his medication in jail and on jail we have an in
their own words here he says quote in their own words quote handcuffs handcuffs, shackles, orange suit, dark room, you can't
control the light. That pretty much put
it in perspective for you how important the medication
is. No shit.
He served 16 months of 18 months.
Wow. Almost the whole thing.
They made him do it. Yeah, he's released in
that includes the time served while he was waiting.
He's released in November 2003.
He'll be on three-year probation,
which includes seeing a psychiatrist, staying on medication.
He begins trying to get tryouts with NFL teams.
Nobody wants him.
It's been years.
October 19, 2005, he signs with the Las Vegas Gladiators of the Arena League.
Wow.
Yeah.
He says we have an In Their Own Words about that.
He says, In Their Own Words, quote, I wanted to go to the big in their own words about that. He says in their own words, quote, I wanted to go over to the big show.
No doubt about that.
But when I found out what the buzz was behind closed doors and what was really being said about me, I braced myself for the negativity.
Canada and NFL Europe didn't work out probably for the same reasons.
Then I had a chance in the AFL to be part of something that's growing.
That's progress.
That's a good attitude, I guess.
The Arena League. Yeah, the coach there for the arena league says he can be a dominant force here you
know he's got two legs half our team only has one he's got two legs and he's crazy as fuck maybe
it'll work out we can do this shit man the team saying he's not making the same kind of money he
used to make but you know they provide him with a uh a a team house and furnished and all that sort of thing.
They provide benefits and they do all that sort of shit like that.
Now, November 11, 2006, he decides to be an MMA fighter.
Oh, my God.
He fights at the Sears Center near Chicago, Illinois for the XFO-13 Operation Beatdown card. He fights
Antoine Herc Hayes
and wins in a unanimous
decision. He didn't take his meds and he beat the
shit out of somebody. Unanimous decision.
He wins and never fights again.
So he's undefeated. He's a
winner one place. Yes.
So January 29, 2008
he's in Tulsa, Oklahoma and he is
arrested after being chased by police for 20 minutes.
Chase began when police responded to a disturbance at a convenience store in Tulsa that he caused.
They chase him. When they arrived, Spellman got into his Chrysler Pacifica.
Things are getting worse. He had a Mercedes and drove away.
The arresting officer said, quote, he took us on a little pursuit through the city.
We had to use stop sticks that took out three of his tires.
Wow.
They had to do that.
After the vehicle stopped, he refused to get out of the car for about 20 minutes until police fired pepper spray bullets through his windows.
Oh, my God.
And then he came out of the car after that.
That's bad news.
He was booked into the Tulsa County Jail.
Yeah.
And his bond was set at $10,700, and he was still in jail.
So now he gets out of there.
He's wandering around Tulsa.
He's trying to figure out something to do with himself.
Not a great place to wander.
He's like, what do I do?
He's like, God damn it.
I don't want any Domino's pizza.
There's nothing to eat here.
Then he smells one thing, and he goes in.
He opens the door.
It's the shawarma man.
It's the little.
It's the shawarma man. It's the shawarma man.
And he says...
How?
How is it you've come to arrive
here? Why are you here, man?
Why? All you need to do, you take
little pill. No, signs say close.
You come anyway. I never say come in, you come.
Why? Because you're crazy. That's why you're crazy.
You need no shawarma.
You know if me on airplane that happened, you know what they do to me?
I'd be shot.
You lucky you black.
No, I make for you.
It's fine.
The sign say close.
I got it out anyway.
I make for you.
You want lamb?
I can make lamb.
The lab man, best in city.
Best in city.
But never mind.
Sign say close.
You take medication.
Go.
The shawarma man put little pills.
Crushed them up and put them in his shawarma. Crushed him up and put him in his shawarma.
So that was really, really good.
So, yeah, September 21st, 2008, he's arrested again, this time in New Jersey, outside the Sunset Tavern on Sunset Road for allegedly threatening to kill another man.
Spellman was holding a knife, threatening to kill a 32-year-old man named Jeffrey Lewis
while the two, basically he got in a fight with somebody else, Spellman, and then this
guy came in and said, oh, calm down, and he pulled a knife out and said, I'll fucking
cut you because I'm crazy.
Mind your business, fucker.
Yeah, so he is charged with aggravated assault, making terrorist threats.
That's two of those so far.
Unlawful possession of a knife and possession of a knife for an unlawful purpose.
Those sound like the same thing backwards.
Sent to Burlington County Jail and was being held there in lieu of $100,000 bail.
Whoa.
So a couple months, a few months later in March of 2009, he pleads innocent to charges stemming from the fight, which is insanity.
He's unable to make his $50,000 bail.
He also has a warrant in Tulsa because he didn't show up for the court.
Jesus.
There, he's been offered probation in exchange for a guilty plea in this attempted whatever
charge, and then Tulsa he's got to go to.
So in Tulsa, he ends up going down to Tulsa and, uh, trying to, uh, you know, get his shit served.
He was in jail for a long time down there cause he couldn't get out of, he couldn't
make his bail.
Yeah.
So he ends up being, uh, he pleads no contest to a variety of charges there and he's, uh,
gets time served for that.
And these were felony in charges of looting a police officer, assault with a dangerous
weapon.
Yeah.
It's, it's crazy. He was sentenced to one year in jail and released after they said he had time credit for time served for that. His attorney, David Phillips, said it was good for all involved.
Yeah. He said that Spellman's a really, really, really, really nice guy. That's a lot of real
as long as he takes his medication. No shit. That's what everybody thinks. He gets a really
for every medication he needs to take.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
So he's in a mental health program in 2013 as he keeps going in, check it in.
And he is arrested.
Oh, my God.
Sent to Burlington County Jail for threatening to kill people at the Willingboro Mental Health Program.
Wow.
He was charged with terroristic threats for making threats against staff members and fellow patients, threatened to kill them all, basically.
And he said in there, he's like, how can this be?
How can I not?
Because they said you're not allowed to go back there.
He's like, but what if I have a mental breakdown?
That's the mental place.
Yeah.
That's where I belong.
Where else can I go?
If I have problems, I go there.
Right.
You're telling me I can't go there if I have problems.
I'll fucking kill you.
Because I have problems.
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
And then he threatened him with a knife.
No, he didn't. So he has
six kids here.
He's still living in New Jersey. He's having a
public defender represent him. Damn it.
In 2014,
March 5th, he's arrested after being
accused of spitting at a police officer
in New Jersey, which isn't terrific.
And finally, November 2nd,
2015, Alonzo Spellman
is arrested in Willingsboro,
New Jersey, for several outstanding warrants
following a motor vehicle stop
recently. He's taken into custody,
found in possession of marijuana,
and charged with possession of less than 50
grams of marijuana, and turned over to another
jurisdiction who had another warrant for him.
That's his life of
insane crime. We're up against the time here.
It never stops.
Some people like him.
BearGogglesOn.com
lists him as the number 83
of 100 top all-time bears.
Really? Which I think they're out of their fucking minds.
That's crazy. There's got to be better than him.
There's plenty better than him. Now, if you
love Alonzo Spellman, you can't get enough of him.
First of all, you can get football cards all over the place,
signed ones, but there's a 1994
Chicago Bears Alonzo Spellman
game-worn jersey with
the 75th anniversary patch, the whole deal.
It's already gone, but it was a
auction
that ended on December 2,
2010, and it went
for $471 with nine
bids. That's a great jersey.
So that's Alonzo Spellman.
Holy fucking shit.
My God.
If you like that, five stars on iTunes.
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I guarantee we're going to update him.
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So thank you.
C-A-O-I-M-H is the name.
Yes.
And I just looked up how to pronounce that.
That was beautiful.
You did that.
And I'm going to fucking find it again because the person deserves it.
There's a V in there.
Yeah.
It's like, what was it?
So C-A-O-I-M-H, Byrne, is pronounced.
I Googled it because Kiva.
Kiva.
That's how you pronounce Kiva?
Sure, what the hell.
What a weird way to pronounce it.
You rock, Kiva.
Thank you.
Kiva, I appreciate you.
We love you.
I hope that's absolutely right.
And we worked to figure out your name.
We did.
I had to do some Googling, but thank you for your donation.
Andrew Wiegand, Kelly Mack, Alexandra Gia, Steve Schnell upped his pledge, and he tweets
about us every week.
We love you.
Thank you, man.
He's an amazing man.
He is the best.
And he tells us what he learned every week.
I love that.
So I appreciate that.
I love that.
Kevin Giancola, William Davison, he upped his pledge.
Abby Clark-Vidler, Mary Hatcher, Adam Baker sent us an email detailing why he loves the show.
So thank you, Adam.
I appreciate you taking the time.
Mary Ann Stump, Megan Haik, Sean Whalen, Claire Genevieve LaFleur goes by Lala on Twitter.
Just Lala, L-A-L-A, whatever.
She tweets at us every week also.
Oh, you're cool.
Thank you.
Joaquin Jorgensen, Linda Plast, who runs with us.
She's the best.
Thank you, Linda.
She's going right back through also and listening again.
That's awesome.
Lucy Androdeova.
God, why can't I get that one?
I don't know.
You wouldn't be able to pronounce mine either if it was on there.
Don't worry about it.
Thank you very much for your donation.
Jennifer Gish.
Thank you, guys.
Tasha Rosie.
She upped her donation.
Or Rossi.
Tasha Rossi.
I think that's it.
Bart Stockton.
Janice Rossi.
Nothing but a whore.
There's a whore and two of them. Sorry. You say Rossi. I think that's it. Bart Stockton. Janice Rossi. Nothing but a whore. There's a whore in two.
Sorry.
You say Rossi, I go into Goodfellas immediately.
You're not a whore.
That has nothing to do with you.
That's a Goodfellas joke.
Sorry.
I don't know if anyone knows that.
Ricky in New Zealand at Nude Toes.
She's terrific.
Elena.
Elena or Elena?
Elena.
It's got to be Elena.
Elena.
Whatever.
Spano.
Jason Kobler.
Jason Kobler.
And then Sloan Proenza
in New Jersey sent us a bunch of cards.
Thank you so much, Sloan. That rocks.
We appreciate the shit out of it.
She sent us a bunch of actual gifts.
Thank you, guys, so much for listening.
Thank you for the tweets. More than you know.
Thanks for being involved because it matters, and you guys are why we do it.
Thank you so, so, so much.
We appreciate it. Jimmy, you want to hit them with your social media?
At Wisman Sucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat.
Find me and communicate.
It's fun.
I enjoy it.
I am at Jimmy P is funny on all the sites.
And you can find, copy and paste my name there if you want to get adventurous and try to
find me on Facebook or whatever.
Friend me and we'll talk.
Otherwise, get out to the Tempe Improv this weekend and see James.
Come do that.
Come see this.
Shit, we'll be back.
You know that.
We're not going anywhere.
I'll tell you that right now.
It's live from the Crime and Sports studio.
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