Crime in Sports - #7 - A Brain Damaged Donald Trump? - The Delusions of Lenny Dykstra

Episode Date: March 22, 2016

This week, we look at a World Series hero, who had no problem hurling himself into walls, or claiming that he was a business mogul, who could tolerate nothing less than the very best of everything, including his $500 fart ties. Slap a baseball sized wad of chew into your mouth, and join us for Lenny Dykstra!! Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman New episodes every Tuesday!!Please subscribe, rate, and review!Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts!Head to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things Crime in Sports!For merchandise: crimeinsports.threadless.comCheck out James and Jimmie's other show: Small Town Murder Follow us on social media!Facebook: facebook.com/crimeinsportsInstagram: instagram.com/smalltownmurderTwitter: twitter.com/MurderSmall Contact the show: [e-mail] on Patreon: patreon.com/crimeinsportsPayPal: paypal.me/crimeinsports See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Looking for inspiration? Craving something new? When you visit Audible, there are endless ways to ignite your imagination. With over 750,000 titles, including bestsellers, there's a listen for every type of listener. Discover all the best in audiobooks, podcasts, and originals featuring authentic Canadian voices and celebrity talent like Brendan Fraser and Luke Kirby's latest sci-fi adventure, The Downloaded.

A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial at audible.ca. Each week on the Mr. Ballin Podcast, now available wherever you get your podcasts, you'll hear strange, dark, and mysterious stories about inexplicable encounters, shocking disappearances, true crime cases, and everything in between. So go listen to Mr. Ballin Podcast, strange, dark, and mysterious stories on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to Crime and Sports. I am James Petrogallo here with my co-host. I am Jimmy Withman.

Thank you so much for joining us again. I hope you've been enjoying everything. Last week we got into a dog lover of sorts. So please, if you haven't heard that, go back and check out Bruno Fernandez de Sousa because it's interesting and he's a fucking loon. Brought to you by yukanuba but and yeah exactly that's the best advertisement they could get it's either us or this right he in case you didn't hear it he uh had a woman killed and fed to his dogs right so

uh but we're moving past that this week uh no death this week oh yeah this is a death free week we're gonna go with for once uh we are to be talking about Mr. Lenny Dykstra yes fucking nails Lenny Dykstra nails Dykstra let's just start at the beginning with Lenny Dykstra if you don't know anything about him but you've seen him play you probably have an inkling that he's a bit of a nut

to begin with because he would hurl himself into walls and smash into other players reckless abandon which as a player you want. He's born Leonard Kyle Dykstra in 1963, February 10th in Santa Ana. That's a tough fucking name. Yeah, Leonard Kyle Dykstra. It sounds like a tough white guy, like a redneck.

He's got a truck with some mud on it. Family's wearing camo and family pictures. Yeah, him included. Yeah, him included. Yeah, born in Santa Ana, California. He's a little guy, too. He's 5'10", 160. He's not a big guy at all, Lenny Dykstra. Scrappy as fuck.

Scrappy, exactly. He's like a little Rocky Marciano. Went to high school, Garden Grove High School in Garden Grove, California. Was drafted in the 13th round by the New York Mets in 1981. That's a pretty good round. It's not bad. I mean, they're not looking at you.

You're not on their plans, but it's like it's not the 42nd round. Right. They don't expect you to be Jeter. He's not Chad Curtis. Right. But if you pan out, that's a pretty damn good pick in the 13th round. It's not bad, and especially for him, it was. Now, I'm going to get into some things about him in the minor

leagues um that we'll come across later big uh lenny dykstra the whole thing with him because it's a financial thing there's some sexual stuff but the whole crime aspect of it is very financial but so the psychology behind him is the interesting part insanely interesting it's so interesting it's really interesting so there's a really good insight. If you've ever read the book Moneyball, obviously the movie starring Brad Pitt also, but none of this is in the movie. If you read the book Moneyball,

there is a chapter where Billy Bean, who is what Moneyball is about, he's the general manager of the Oakland A's, very good judge of players, very good judge of talent, character, that sort of thing. And he's an general manager of the oakland a's very good judge of players very good judge of talent character that sort of thing and he was an ex he's an ex-player also he was in the mets minor league system with lenny dykstra and he realized when he roomed with lenny dykstra while they were playing that billy didn't have what it takes to be a big star right by looking at lenny and realizing that's what i need to be a big star

he knew he had baseball acumen but he didn't have that that yeah that genetic dna that that that go getter mentality it's the yeah and it's not even that it was a it's a it's a it's a it's a certain self-delusion where you don't calculate failure into the equation. And that's honestly what it is. That's what he's got. And, you know, so Lenny was, Lenny, Billy Bean said about him, he said he didn't let his mind screw him up. Right. Which is a big deal for a baseball player because that's half of it is mental. You're sitting around thinking in between at bats. He said Lenny was so perfectly designed emotionally to play the game of baseball.

He was able to instantly forget any failure and draw strength from every success he had no concept of failure that's his quote about him like in a delusional open mic comic he is normally the only people on earth that this would be good qualities for comedians and closing pitchers right relief pitcher to forget the past i'm gonna be great at this no matter what that's fantastic for baseball but you'll see this keeps coming up. Just keep, whenever we're talking about him later on, keep thinking about draws strength from every success, has no concept of failure.

Because that is clearly his problem in life. That's his plan on everything. And you're right. That is a bad plan. It's a bad plan. Bad plan. Not exactly an intellectual either no he uh billy uh billy was starting the billy got accepted to stanford billy bean

stanford so he's a smart cat yeah very very smart so he he chose to play baseball rather than go to college so he used to read a lot of books when they weren't playing he'd be reading books because he figured he was getting some sort of education yeah and lenny walked in and saw him reading the book and he just said he freaked out he went dude you shouldn't be doing that you're gonna ruin your eyes reading not good that that's so fascinating because what he ends up doing later in his career his eyes are the last thing that he gives a fuck about but the funny thing is and he ends up in prison yeah spoiler alert you probably expect that from all of our people anyway but he ended up ends up in prison and after prison gives an interview says he read his first book in prison no shit good place to do it first book 40 something years old maybe i'll read a book that's how you pass time

and he said it was because when he ever you know since he could remember he was playing baseball he didn't want to mess his eyes up. And so that's how focused he was on baseball. Now he doesn't give a shit about his eyes, so let's just go on. And it was actually paid off for him. Lenny was a great player. You cannot say a thing about Lenny as a player. Terrific center fielder, played with reckless abandon.

I mean, basically... Did not give a shit about his body. Sacrificed every day. He got every ounce that he could get of skill and of numbers out of that body that he possibly could. He was... I mean, he would left nothing on the table. I spoke to Jerry Hairston Jr., who came to a show, whatever, and I met him there and spoke to him yesterday about... Jerry Hairston Jr. played for the Dodgers. He played for, I think, there and spoke to him yesterday. Jerry Harrison, Jr., a player with –

Played for the Dodgers. He played for, I think, nine or ten teams. Probably. Yankees, Orioles. I think he's 13 or 12 years, something like that. Yeah, played for a long time. Major league vet. And now he's a sports commentator.

He's the voice of the Dodgers on their radio station. And I spoke to him yesterday and asked him just a quick – I wanted just one question, one answer out of him, and I just wanted to know what do you think of Lenny Dykstra? And players cannot say enough nice things about him. He said, I really don't know him. Yeah, he's been retired for a while, but he was a great player that played hard and was a winner and had heart.

That's what he says about a man that is a convicted felon and is a delusional person in his personal life, but that's what every person that's ever played with him has to say about him. He's an amazing guy on that field. If you can pick eight other people to be on your team, that's one of the guys you're definitely picking. They want him. A friend of mine who used to be a major leaguer passed away now,

but I remember talking to him about Lenny Dykstra years ago, and he said, man, that guy's crazy. That was his response. This was before any of this stuff happened. It was about 2006. And he's like, man, as a player, he's crazy. But, man, does he play hard? But he said the funny thing was his nickname Nails,

everybody calls him Nails, everybody thinks it's because he's crazy. He's like, it's not because he runs into walls. It's because he smokes four packs a day. That's why everyone called him Nails. He's like, I don't know what the hell. He's like, nicknames get weird legends of their own, but he's like day that's why everyone called him nails he's like i don't know what the hell he's like nicknames get weird legends of the room he's like that's why we call them nails he can he can that's pr department probably said yeah it's because he runs in the wall because he's tough as nails bullshit because he smokes enough cigarettes every day to put nails in his coffin he had a wad of tobacco the size of a navel orange stuck in his in his mouth

and he would run in between innings when he was off the field and he wasn't at bat. He would run down the hallway there toward the clubhouse and smoke three, four cigarettes while he had his tobacco. Just pound him. With a cutie in each cheek. Didn't give a fuck. So Lenny was a—that's what Lenny is, though. He's just—everything is—he's ingesting everything.

He's playing hard. He's living hard. In excess. In excess yeah in excess yeah he's like a he would have made a good gangster in this game he would have made a great gangster like a mob guy doesn't give a fuck oh just i mean just going through it the whole deal uh ends up the same way um but i mean he's a three-time all star yeah all-star 90 94 95 should have got 93. Also, if you look at his numbers, he was killing it in 93. Started out with the Mets. 1985, May 3rd, 1985 versus Cincinnati. His first game, he goes two for five with a homer and a stolen base. Pretty solid.

And two RBI. Pretty goddamn solid. He's making his presence known because he didn't have any. He wasn't nervous. He was like, I should be here. Here we go. There's a thing in Moneyball, again't have any. He wasn't nervous. No. He was like, I should be here. Here we go. There's a thing in Moneyball, again, Billy Bean remembers. They were in a minor league game.

Or not a minor league, a spring training game. And Steve Carlton was on the mound. Okay? Steve Carlton, legendary Hall of Famer. If you guys don't know who he is, look him up. He's a Hall of Famer. He was known as the best lefty ever before Randy Johnson came along, basically. Great pitcher. Beast. He was lefty. I'm thinking the same thing. I believe so. Anyway, I don't know

what the hell. I just had a brain freeze. I believe you're right. Anyway, they're looking at him, and Lenny comes in the dugout, and he goes, who the hell is this big shitbag on the mound? And Billy Bean's like, you're not serious. You know who this guy is, right? And he's like, no. He's like, it's Steve Carlton. And he's like, yeah, what's he throw? And he's like, what's he

throw? He's like, heat out of your ass and the best slider in the history of the game. And he said Lenny just sat there, looked at him for a second, and then just goes, I'll stick him, and walked away. I'll stick him. I need to go have a lucky strike.

I'll be back. I'm going to go smoke four cigarettes. But before that, when I'm done with that, I'll go out there and stick him. Fucking incredible. That's the type of cat we're dealing with. The delusions on this guy. But in baseball, can't ask for more than that.

He backed it up. He backed it up. He would talk so much shit, but he was always there. He was always there to come through in the clutch. He was a place for the Mets. He's on that 86 legendary. Yeah, the great team. The Mets World Series miracle team there in 86.

And he's a big part of it, too. And that's that ring. That's that piece that carry that's that piece of success that just he can ride that for fucking ever new york yeah oh my god i'm from new york they would they would just it's the same thing like with bruno the soccer they would just carry him through the streets if they asked him mets fans would that's anyway it's that's that's in what in the biggest city in america in the biggest sports market, in the biggest market, period, and they won a World Series.

That's enough success in any sport. And there's enough anti-Yankee pro-Mets sentiment. There were these people like, finally! You know, we did it. Screw the Yankees. And he's our god. And he played hard, and he's fit New York, too. They love that kind of player that'll run into a wall for them.

Right. When Jeter made that crazy play where he caught the ball and bounced over and mailed his face into the seats, we were like, nice move. That's good. We didn't care if he broke his neck. We would have been like, good move, pal. As they drug his lifeless corpse off the field. We would have been like, you know what? He caught the ball, though, so it's all right.

We'll figure out another shortstop tomorrow. They're crazy. So anyway, Lenny is, he hits a big home run in the deciding game of the World Series in 86, too. I mean, that's... Coming through in the clutch. Coming through in the clutch. He's a Mets legend.

Anyway, 1989 comes along. June 8, 1989, he's traded with Roger McDowell and a player to be named later to the Phillies for Juan Samuel. Juan Samuel just looks like an old like somebody's like if you found like a nice Hispanic girl and you went and you met her parents

that would be her dad would be Juan Samuel standing there sitting on a couch yeah that's what he looked like in 1989 now he probably looks like

his grandfather unkempt and everything um sorry I mean trade to the Phillies uh that's a great deal for the Phillies

they got Roger McDowell Jesus who is a legendary lunatic himself. Oh, God. The second spitter on the Seinfeld episode, as you might remember that. Throwing blows at people charging him. He's a crazy man. They used Roger McDowell in that episode because that's a believable guy. People went, we got Roger McDowell. Lenny Dykstra was probably second on that list of people.

Like, if we can't get McDowell, we'll get Dykstra. Or they asked Dykstra and they couldn't do it, so they got McDowell. One of the two. Dykstra was probably second on that list of people. Like, if we can't get McDowell, we'll get Dykstra. Or they asked Dykstra and they couldn't do it, so they got McDowell. One of the two. Dykstra was busy. Lenny was busy at that point. So, yeah. Anyway, he's on the Phillies now. Goes to those World Series teams with the Phillies where they lost to the Blue Jays, obviously.

What a fun team that was. 1990 is a killer year. 325, nine homers, but he's like a leadoff guy 60 rbi and that's the year that was a turning point for him in baseball too because that was the year that he claims and you know claims with him are a little loosey-goosey but that's the year that he claimed that he really got into steroids and really started hitting the cycles and his numbers kind of prove it yeah it shows this is when his power, after this year, his power numbers spike. This year, 859 OPS.

He's still got his speed, 33 steals that year. That's pretty incredible. And also, too, 89 walks to 48 strikeouts. That's a great ratio. And that's the type of thing where you're looking at it going,

man, this guy is putting together. He doesn't have to swing because they're putting him on base anyway. Well, I mean, either way, he's smart enough. He strikes out half as much as he walks. That's a great sign. 93, by then the year he should have been an all-star, but wasn't.

He's up to 19 home runs. That's the year that he was pissed. Yeah, hits.305. Career high in home run that year also for him with 19. 37 steals, leads the league in hits and runs that year. And doesn't make the all-star team right makes it

makes it 94 95 94 is the shortened strike year obviously first sign of you know Lenny's a little loose

with his with his intelligence here in 1991 May 7th yeah he's in an auto accident yeah with Darren Dalton

teammate in the car yes now I'm gonna say before this if you guys want to be entertained if you want to hear crazy shit like really crazy shit like this is crazy shit but if you want to hear like someone talk about aliens and like really wacky shit look up darren dalton and just get beyond his stats look up his interviews and quotes from recently the last 10 15 years

sit back have a nice glass of scotch and fucking enjoy because it's madness it's awesome he's he turned into the just that oh that that turned into somebody's crazy aunt right the guy that's just like 9-11's an inside job just conspiracy theories everywhere i think he's probably inventing he was, I think he claimed he was abducted by aliens. There's something, I don't even know if it was abducted, but if it wasn't abducted, it was something crazier than that. There's absolutely an experience

with that. He is an alien. There's something nuts. He is an alien, and David Duchovny's after him. Really, he's out of his fucking mind. Blood alcohol, they get into a crash coming from John Kruk's bachelor party. Awesome. John Kruk is the ultimate baseball body guy.

If you look up John Kruk, he's just like a fat guy with a curly mullet. He was a catcher, yes? First baseman. Oh, first baseman. First baseman. Hit his ass off. And he has the body of a first baseman, too. He has the body of a woman who's worked in accounting for 40 years.

And is unsatisfied with her marriage just a giant barrel ass not good just such a he looks like great player though right he had an awesome retirement

when he just he got a hit and I think it was his 2000th hit and he just got to first base and said alright bye and he left never played again

anyway back to them they get in a car accident Darren Dalton and Lenny Dykstra with Lenny driving on the way home from the bachelor party. Lenny breaks his collarbone, gets a facial bone broke, gets a bunch of bruises on him. Blood alcohol level of.179, which is a good solid double the limit, plus a little extra.

That's a few pops. He had a couple there. It's not good. And that night he said that they went to the police station. He and Darren went to the police station. He and Darren went into the police station. They arrested him. They did all the paperwork and everything. They just let him go on their own recognizance. And they're walking out of the police station. And he turns to Darren and goes, look, man, I don't want to be a pussy at all, but I think I need to go to the hospital because I think I'm dying. And

Darren Dalton, he didn't want to feel like a pussy saying that to Darren Dalton. But to Lenny's credit, Darren Dalton looked at him't want to feel like a pussy saying that to Darren Dalton. Yeah. But to Lenny's credit, Darren Dalton looked at him and goes, I think that's a good idea. I think I'm dying too. I'm surprised Darren didn't go, that's funny,

I'm fine because I'm an alien. So I'm impervious to more wounds. I bleed orange. That's weird. I guess I bleed fucking... Anyway, we go on. 93 World Series.

Killed it in the 93 World Series 348 four homers four homers for lead i mean for big dikstra 413 1413 ops jesus i mean that's insane four steals i mean he just owned it they still lost but he owned that series uh completely made 36 million dollars in his career also which is great career stats 285 average 81ers, 404 ribbies, 285 steals, 793 OPS, 1298 hits. So you can add that up. He had a solid, solid season. A solid major league career. And that's on the career.

Yeah. That's fantastic. He got 0.2% of the Hall of Fame vote in 2002, so he's not going to the Hall. No, that's not happening. That booted him off the ballot right there. No, no, no. He retires in 1996. That's about as good a number as you can have on a career and not make the Hall of Fame.

Well, I mean, 1,298 hits. I mean, you've got to have your 3,000 hits or higher. 2,500 for a power guy. But, I mean, that career, those numbers aren't indicative of how important his name was you know what i mean he wasn't a chad curtis no no he was a guy that mattered on his team he's an outfielder that that was extremely important he had to be there yeah if they if they if they were thinking about winning a game and having a good season that man had to be in the lineup absolutely and and uh so i mean he finishes up he finishes up his career in 96 with the Phillies, tries to make a brief

attempt in 98, comes back to spring training for a little bit, but that didn't work out because, I mean, I think his body had to be done. Absolutely. Things. 1999, things start to get a little weird for him. He's arrested for sexual harassment. He opened up his chain of car washes, we have to tell you. When he won the World Series, he opened those, right?

Yeah, I don't remember exactly when, but he's got a chain of car washes in California. They're everywhere. They're everywhere. It's a big goddamn deal in California. Yeah, so Lenny's the car wash king. He's arrested for sexual harassment of one of his 17-year-old employees. Not good. 17.

Car wash employees. It's a little questionable, it's looking bad charges later drop we don't know what happened i'm sure worse has happened in the mlbs but but yeah um this is uh sells the car washes in 2003 makes millions upon millions 50 million dollars bank for the for the chain which is more money than he made in baseball it is that's pretty awesome he also now for his credit that he had partners in this, too. Sure. So he didn't get $50 million out of this.

He has one of his partners. Lindsey Jones is one of his partners who actually sues him later on. Sues him for, I think, said Lenny, whatever, did some shady accounting practices. Weird. Weird. I'm sure they were also correct accusations. Yeah, this is in 2005. This is before the Mitchell steroid report comes out.

This is also he's outing Lenny for steroid use. Says he's known Lenny for years. Lenny used steroids. Lenny used HGH. And Lenny also used Lindsay Jones to bet on 93 Phillies games. Jesus. So that's a big accusation there. Nothing ever fortified, but I mean, it's out there.

Pete Rose is out of the hall for good because of that. Exactly, exactly. And he's doing it. He's taking a middleman to say, lay this money on my fills. Yeah, I mean, so he's got that. He sells the car washes. He's starting other businesses. He's on the Jim Cramer, the lunatic who screams about shit

when his sleeve's rolled up. He's on there. He calls him one of the great ones in this business with that with his arms out yeah so great oh you put a big wad of chew in his mouth and was like he's the best jim kramer's the worst fucking person i hate him he says also too when he sells the car washes this is he's on kramer later when he sold the car, he said he took a year off to learn the stock market. Oh, boy. He hasn't read a book. Just takes a year. Just takes a year when you're illiterate.

He's never read a book at this point in his life. But don't worry. I'll tackle the stock market in a second. But he's going to take people's investment. This is incredible. Do they have a Rosetta Stone for the fucking stock market? They're going to need one. You see him sitting there there going i like these pictures

this is helping me a lot except more mumbly because lenny dykstra mumbles every goddamn he wants trading places once and he's like just buy orange juice if it's frozen huh i need a black guy there's a black guy i need a black guy which then we'll get into lenny's racial uh problems fantastic i can't wait he's named in the mitchell report uh which was a I need a black guy. Which then we'll get into Lenny's racial problems later on. Fantastic. I can't wait. He's named in the Mitchell Report, which was a report, big, huge investigation into steroid use in the major leagues. Outing Barry Bonds, outing Clemens. Outing tons of people.

Jason Grimsley was involved in outing people. Jesus. Yeah, yeah. This is December 13, 2007. Multiple sources said he was an anabolic steroid user. In the book by Randall Lane called The Zeros, he said he had to perform better than those wanting to replace him. That was his $25 million on the line. Understandable, honestly.

I got you, man. I'm not going to bash anybody for steroid use in that era, especially, because it was wild, wild west. It was crazy. Other people were doing it, and they were competing with you. And it was obvious. Because it was wild, wild west. It was crazy. Other people were doing it and they were competing with you. And it was obvious. And it was obvious. And if you're 5'10", 160 pounds,

you're going, I hit nine home runs. If I hit 20, I'll make double the money. Absolutely. Come on. It's a no-brainer. It's a no-brainer.

And these guys are throwing their bodies against the wall and sacrificing themselves every day anyway. What do they give a shit about their joints and how their body breaks down? Lenny doesn't think about that. No. As we know. No. He's got a ring. they give a shit about their joints and and how their how their body breaks down lenny doesn't think about that as we know he's got a ring who gives a shit

no concept of failure including his body i think there it is right now i feel good i'll fly into that wall we'll figure that out when it comes okay that's how and he lives his whole life like that and if something breaks steroids help you heal faster exactly that's all he cares about he got banged up a lot. Absolutely. And he probably did... It sounds like he does a lot of painkillers. He did. And you know, he did...

The way he talks, holy shit, it's like his jaw is just frozen in one spot and he just flops his tongue around in his mouth trying to get words out. He doesn't even try to enunciate.

There's no attempt to enunciation. No. It's just whatever. Listening to a story from him is fucking crazy. So things are going well for Lenny. We're in the mid-2000s, 2006, 2007.

Things are starting to take off. Yeah, he's got a bunch of money in the bank. Bunch of money. And things like everything. He buys Wayne Gretzky's mansion. Jesus. And this place is a palatial... 15,000 square feet.

And it's in L.A. Yeah. I mean, this place now, this was for $18 million then. Now it's probably worth $55. Wow. I mean, it's insane if you ever saw it. Big fountains. This whole thing. Wayne Gretzky lived there. It's going to be nice.

It's going to be a nice house. He said, Lenny Dykstra said this is the best house. Everything he has, by the way, is the best in the world. Yeah, it's the best thing. His watch is the best watch in the world. His car is the best car. He has a tie that he said was the best tie in the world. Yeah, it's the best thing he can watch. His watch is the best watch in the world. There's nothing else available that's better right now. He has a tie that he said was the best tie in the world.

He's like Donald Trump, but slightly... He's a retarded Donald Trump. Slightly less literate, we'll say. The rest of it, intelligence, I'm not even going to... They could be equal. If you slam Donald... Lenny didn't inherit that much money. That's a good point. That's a good point.

They may be... Lenny made this on his own. Donald Trump has not said how many books he's read. That's true. That's a good point. They may be... Lenny made this on his own. Donald Trump has not said how many books he's read. That's true. I will say that. That's true. Lenny may be, if you slam Donald Trump's head into the wall 50 times and then slam him against Mookie Blaylock at...

Mookie Wilson. Or Mookie Wilson. Did I say Blaylock? Yeah, the old Atlanta guard's point guard. Slam him against Mookie Wilson at 20 miles an hour. They may come out talking and thinking exactly the same. And so thank fuck Lenny hasn't run for president. Let's just say that.

And also, too, for his family. By the way, Lenny's three uncles were NHL players, NHL hockey players. Pete, Jack, and Tony Leswick, apparently, were his uncles, and they were all played in the NFL. So, I mean, it's an athletic family, apparently. But his son, Lenny's son, Cutter,

drafted in 2008 in the second round by the brewers that's pretty solid yeah uh he's in double a right now his son cutter also had a kid had a son with meadow soprano that's right that's right so i mean this is like i'm wealthy my kids and i'm gonna be in the major soon he's banging meadow soprano over here they're spitting kids out they got that soprano's money this is good shit life is good right but then then again cutter's gonna have to deal with that ms that she's got right now too that's not gonna be a problem good later his son luke is drafted by atlanta in the seventh round of the 2014 draft they're on too so i mean just to show the athletic stock that he's got going he's got a lot in there um now this is when things start to go a little awry here. He starts a magazine called The Players Club.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, this is the first unraveling of this whole thing. This is 2007, 2008 is the launch of it, okay? He says in his own words, not just a magazine, it's a comprehensive lifestyle and finance brokerage company aimed at helping athletes with all aspects of off-the-field life. Steer them toward annuities, which he called recurring cash flow for later. So, I mean, he's got his, basically he's trying to make this magazine.

It's a thick, glossy, really nice magazine with, you know, ads from like Charter Jets and, you know, Petit Philippe watches that are 50 grand, shit like that, and that goes to all of professional athletes. It's for professional athletes. It's advertising services they might want, and it's a financial. He wants to take these people's money and invest it. Basically, he says it's players helping players. It's hysterical.

How would somebody that's a player not get that in their hand and go are you shitting me what is this it's yeah no it's essentially something that should be handed out at the rookie symposium in the nfl and be like whatever's in this never buy it never do it at the time he's flying high yeah he's i mean he's saying he's got 50 million dollars at this point he's saying i am liquid 50 million and you don't know him so you don't know how full of shit he is on the news all the time he's on fox news he's on cnbc's on all these channels and if you've been in california you've seen his name on a car wash he's on all these channels and they're going lenny dykstra the you know a baseball success story post baseball he's got 50 million so you're going fuck maybe this guy knows how to invest essentially it feels

like you know he didn't make 50 million in baseball. No, right. He's made this later. He's got that afterwards. If you... Essentially, that magazine is made by Lenny so that he can go, here's a tool that I can use to help these athletes give me money to invest in things because Christ only knows

how little money they would give me if they fucking talked to me in person. If they knew that I never read a book. Ever. If they heard me speak, there's no way they're giving me a person that i never read a book ever if they heard me speak they heard there's no way they're giving me a dime now i can sum i'm going to sum up this whole experience of the players club and the business side of it and how it fell apart and there's a great article that was in gq

magazine originally uh by a guy named kevin coughlin okay pop that beer, Jimmy. Yeah, let's do that. One and a two and a three. Alright. Guy named Kevin Coughlin. Now, Kevin Coughlin, he was, he wanted to be like an editor or whatever, so he was a sports photo editor at the New York Post at the time. And he calls, he gets Lenny's number and calls him and

he's curious as to what's going on and maybe he could be a part of this magazine because he wanted to move on from that and he wanted could be a part of this magazine. Yeah. Because he wanted to move on from that. And he wanted more of a leadership position, he said. Looking for a better opportunity. So he asked Lenny for an interview. Lenny says it's eight days after he got his number. He gets an interview from Lenny.

Tells him to show up at like 1230 at night, on a Monday night, at the Carlisle Hotel in New York City. What? Weird right away. That's the craziest job interview I've ever heard. He's saying, I'm flying into town and then I've got to leave you know i need to do it there sure so he says fine he waits in the lobby for him waits waits waits lenny eventually calls him he's late and he says look dude um you know we're on the jetway now i'll be there in a little bit pulls in makes him wait downstairs in the hotel lobby while he goes up and does something dude's sitting there again finally

the elevator operator comes for him and says lenny's ready for you now he goes up to lenny's office and he said he's just got like three laptops running there's shit going everywhere he's pounding twizzlers and coca-cola ticker tape showing stock prices yeah he is like a crazy person just like a completely manic going off on things um i mean he he asked he asked the guy why do you want to leave he tells him i want more leadership um and lenny responds to a normal job interview question when the guy why do you want to leave he tells him i want more leadership um and lenny responds to a normal job interview question when the guy said i'd like more leadership and lenny goes oh yeah and he shows him his watch he says see this watch i don't wear jewelry except for this best in the world cost 65k and the guy's like okay okay like if that sounds great that's a hell of an

answer interesting um makes him sit down for two hours as Lenny just emails people and, like, sending video clips and YouTube shit to people and, like... Hey, have you seen this one of these kids falling down? Literally asking his, like, opinion on it. What do you think of that logo? You think that's good?

He's like, yeah, all right, whatever. And the guy's like, I'm gonna fucking job interview. Check out this video of this cat playing the piano. It's three in the morning at this point. And literally his wife's calling him. And she's like, where are you? He's like, I'm going to fucking job interview. Check out this video of this cat playing the piano. It's 3 in the morning at this point. It's literally his wife's calling him, and she's like, where are you? He's like, I'm still with Lenny. And she's like, what? Tell him you have to leave.

And he's like, no, just a little while longer. How do I do that? Already this guy is in trouble. Jesus. Yeah, basically Lenny's stuffing Twizzlers in his mouth. It's 4 a.m. now, and Lenny says, all right, tell you what. I'll give you $100,000 a year plus benefits. So he tells Lenny, I heard you offered another guy.

I think it was from Sports Illustrated. I heard through the grapevine you offered him $120,000. So Lenny, he says, you know what, bro? That guy was scared of me. And then he does the douchiest thing I've ever heard in my life. Anyone who quotes Scarface, just fuck off right now. That guy was scared of me. Yeah.

Go on. You like it, that's fine. Don't be quick. He actually says, the eyes, Chico. They never lie. What does that mean? You're Leonard Kyle Dykstra.

Your family drives pickup trucks and wears camouflage. There's a gun rack somewhere in somebody's house. No. You've got real tree camo shotguns. He said, the eyes. Do not say to me camo shotguns. He said, the eyes. Do not say to me.

They never lie. He says, I like you. You're not scared of anything. So are you buying into the Players Club or what? Listen, Kyle. Jesus Christ. So Kevin. Are you buying into the Players Club?

Kevin Coughlin's like, I guess. Like, he doesn't know what to do. And then he looks over at him. He goes, you know what, man? You could be a millionaire. He goes, I'll make you a partner in this. He tells him, you know. I thought he said 100K.

Which is it? Well, no, no. He laid it on. He says, I'm going to go. Am I a millionaire? Am I a millionaire? What's going on here, Lenny? I'm going to sell him now.

He says, I'm going to give you a stake in this thing. I want you to be one of the partners. He goes, you know, in three years, we'll sell this thing to some media company for $300,000, $400,000. And we'll all just take a nice thing. So that's Lenny's plan here. I feel like when that guy left, he should have been, like, leaving in a Toyota Tercel. Yeah, he was. We will get to that.

But I feel like Lenny just sold him a... There are mortgage payments missed. I'm not shitting you. I feel like Lenny just sold him a Toyota Tercel and a fucking timeshare somewhere. With, like, a bad water pump. Are you into the, into the players club or what? Are you going to buy into this?

What do you spend on hotels when you go on vacation? On the average. Let me ask you something, Kevin. What are you spending on a, what? Tell me about airfare.

Yeah. Airfare. Let's add this up. Hold on. I'm getting my cup. I thought I was here for a, it's four o'clock in the morning and my wife's calling.

Listen, it's not a timeshare. It's called ownership. It's ownership is what you're getting. here for a drink. It's 4 o'clock in the morning and my wife's calling. Listen, it's not a timeshare. It's called ownership. It's ownership is what you're getting, just for a small share of the time. So Lenny projected that in a couple of years, he'd be managing $11.5 billion in assets and money for these players. Because he said, as long as there's players making big salaries, this is going right in their locker.

He's like, in his quote, we're recession-proof, baby. We'll get to that. You're not Dykstra-proof is the problem. That's the issue there. Recessions ain't shit compared to Dykstras. Things start to fall apart a little bit here. Lenny's very crass. There's a meeting where there's a layout, and Lenny goes, this looks faggy,

he says. And there's a guy that everyone knows is gay who's on the team standing there very uncomfortably. And after he leaves, Lenny turns to Kevin here

and he says, see the look on that fag's face when I said that. So Lenny's not a sensitive guy. Holy shit. Then he says, out of his first four covers, three of them were Derek Jeter, Chris Paul,ul tiger woods and then the other one was a female i don't remember who it

was pretty solid pretty solid right and he says hey nobody can call me a racist i put three darkies and a bitch on my first four covers can't call me a racist darkies everywhere i ain't no racist or sexist i put a bitch on the cover bitch darkies fantastic and then Kevin said what was that like he wanted to

make sure that he heard pardon me and he said I put three spear chuckers on the cover he said it louder and clearer

like you hear you get what I'm saying he's like my grandpa blacks that's awesome I put the blacks on the cover so

I mean Lenny's a fucking disaster as a person. Three darkies and a bitch. He's never read a book and he calls black people darkies. He is a menace. He's basically like someone's grandfather that grew up in the mountains of West Virginia and never wore shoes. You know what I mean? That's what he's talking like at this point. And bathed in a bathtub on top of a fire.

Yeah. That's so good. This guy, they put out the first issue this guy's thinking oh this is great like he really enjoyed working there he said that lasted for about three days because in three days he gets a call from lenny it didn't strike you as odd that your boss just called black people darkies i don't know if that was before that started to go back but either way he for this guy the experience was like he's because he was putting together this magazine he was really important in the editor

right one of the editors so he was really doing a lot to this thing he was working hard he said he was working all night yeah he was really doing a lot well then he calls him up and says hey bud i need your credit card number oh and he's like uh pardon me and he's like yeah i'm at this private jet thing i gotta get this jet. Don't worry, they're not going to charge anything. It's just an authorization. I've got to fly down to Atlanta, pick up half a million dollars cash. Holy shit.

I need your money. He's like a Nigerian prince now. Give me your credit card so I can go pick up plenty of Dykstra. I'll give you $500 million for your credit card now. What? He's a redneck. He's Nigerian. That's a great deal.

He shucks and moves, man. And he's like, I don't know about that. He's like, dude he's nigerian it's a great deal shake he shucks and moves man um and he's like uh i don't know about that he's like dude just let me do it it's worth five grand cash to you and he's like he knew he was never gonna get the five grand cash at this point he's like he goes he goes look all right you can do it but like you know i'm really trusting you with something here he goes you can trust me with your life bro also don't tell anybody about this i'm the most trustworthy guy in the world but keep that under your't tell anybody about this I'm the most trustworthy guy in the world but keep that under your head never tell anybody about my shady deal

and the guy's like why can't you use your money he's like these high interest cards blah blah blah like he made some excuse and the guy's like okay turned out this guy got billed for $14,000 and the whole thing it was nuts so that's the bad sign that's when you can tell things are happening money spent on his fucking assistant is $14,000 and the whole thing. It was nuts. So that's the bad sign.

That's when you can tell things are happening. Lenny spent his fucking assistant $14,000. Yeah, he shows up. That's awesome. Yeah, it's bad shit. Now, he shows up. He misses Lenny, misses a meeting with the leasers of the office. Uh-oh.

They have an office in Manhattan. High dollar building. I'm sure. He said it was a shithole little drab office in there, but it was a high dollar building. It's 1,200 square feet, but it's like fucking 10 grand a month. And Lenny's bragging, going, I'm going to put all flat screens up here, get rid of this artwork. We're going to repaint. We're going to get nice furniture.

He's a jerk-off bragger. And by the way, can I get your credit card for that? Yeah. So they say that he owed them back rent, so they shut off his phone and internet. Hard to run a company off of that. That's how they do it. Six days later, Kevin gets shit-canned. This guy gets fired because he was asking for his money to be returned to him.

He's basically asking to be paid. Can I get my money and this $14,000 back on my Amex? Yeah, and he said he literally missed mortgage payments. Of course. His wife was fucking pissed, as you can imagine. Imagine doing that. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God.

Forget it. They're like, I don't give a shit if it's Lenny Dykes. I don't care how many up against the wall catches he made. I don't care if it's Michael fucking Jordan. Get your goddamn money and pay our credit card, please. I want to pay the mortgage. So this office was $30,000 a month, by the way. Holy shit. $30,000 a month, by the way. Holy shit.

$30,000 a month for this office space, which is nuts. Basically, he's fired, and this guy's like, look, I want my money. I want my paycheck. Lenny tells him, you can have your paycheck if you sign a confidentiality agreement. So he said, tell you what, fuck you. The story that I have is worth more than one can't wait to call nbc more than one paycheck and i think he was owed another like 1400 in expenses or something because lenny's personal assistant like covered some of the shit back like everybody was scrambling for this guy

um 20 lawsuits and all were filed against the players club magazine um and and later on there's a real sports goes to lenny's house oh Oh, I saw this. This is fantastic. Yeah. That Bernard Goldberg is fantastic. He's great. And this is after. He's so fucking mean to him. Yeah.

Once this article comes out in GQ, too, now there's reports of racism, foreclosures. The press is starting to go, hey, what's up with Lenny Dykstra now? Because also, too, at this point, they're foreclosing on Gretzky's mansion. Right. He's still in the house at this point, but it's under forecl foreclosure there's no copper in the fucking place yeah he's looted the place like a meth head he looted it later on yeah they said that there's articles things of him just driving up and selling shit to consignment places and stuff like crackhead you like this door yeah how about this chandelier a truck full of shit that's worth just crackhead shit you know what

i mean how about the hardware hardware on these cabinets it's not good so uh we get to uh anyway so real sports goes there and knocks on the door no answer doors unlocked so he goes in lenny lenny this place is a is it like a real cavernous mansion and it's naked it's so empty stitch of furniture and this guy's just great floors though mr dykstra he's calling him leaving him voicemails please call me back and eventually Lenny comes down the stairs like hey buddy how's it going

I've been here 25 minutes with a camera crew we've been wandering around downstairs it took us 25 minutes to find everything but we've seen everything in this house great faucets in your bathroom there is a Maybach out front that's the other thing too

I'm so poor that I don't even know how to fucking pronounce that car that's how broke I am a $400,000 car in the horseshoe shaped driveway nuts this guy is great too Lenny just takes him it's like the Kevin Coughlin job interview.

He just sits at his desk and starts doing shit. He's just dicking around on his phone. He's playing on the computer. And Bernie's standing next to him going, so what do you say to people that. It's hilarious. Your creditors that say you owe them money. He's like, I don't owe anybody money. And he's like, well, yeah, you do.

And he goes, what do you say to the people that think you're broke? And I'm in that camp. I think you're broke. By the way, I'm one of those people those people and he goes who do i owe money to and he's like uh the publisher for your magazine the printer and he goes there are people are fucking criminals criminals the printers he said people are criminals i don't know them anything guy goes okay well what about a flight attendant that you never paid he goes fuck that flight attendant fuck him i don't know i don't know anybody anything and he's not even making eye

contact he's like on his computer fuck them he He goes, everybody's just trying to get my money. And then going back to that guy's interview, showing him the watch that's the greatest thing in the world. He's showing Bernard Goldberg pictures of a German shepherd saying, this is a world champion. Ten grand. Best in the world. I'm buying it.

Best in the world. Best in the world. There's reports in this interview of he would take his tie with his players club staff. See his tie? 500 bucks. Best in the world. And he'd rub his crotch on it and fart. That was his fucking sense of humor.

He's like a psychotic uncle that comes to Christmas and bullshits you for an hour. He's like, I was in the CIA. I killed 150 Viet Cong. Okay, Uncle Bob. You were three during Vietnam. I got a necklace full of ears. Uncle Bob, those are pig ears. Those are way too big for me.

You were 18 in 1982. What are you doing? Also, too, his wife, Terry, files for divorce in April of 2009. And from then on, this is a timeline of disaster at this point. This is where it crumbles. We get to January, or I'm sorry, July 7, 2009,

files for bankruptcy, claims $50,000 in assets. I guess his watch is his asset. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. $50,000 in assets versus $10 to $50 million in debts. Wow.

Bad ratio. I'm going to assume one of those $10 grand of that is that german shepherd yeah 17 and a half millions the damn house um he had unsecured now this is where the banks are idiots too and this is this is you know this is part of that this is financial this is why this shit happened right 2008 and the this is what so much for recession proof there's even a bank that completely ate shit and crashed during that time that was one of his, was his main home lender. Washington Mutual was his main home lender as we know what happened to Washington Mutual. WAMU went down fast. They fell

apart like it was like Herbert Hoover was president. It was a disaster. So yeah, not good. He had unsecured loans from JPMorgan Chase. Unsecured. That's insane. Who gives? Because he's Lenny Dykstra. $12.9 million. Here's $12.9. Take this, Lenny. JPMorgan Chase. $12.9 million.

Wow. Just because he's Lenny Dykstra. Unsecured. Where you at, Jim Cramer? They literally go, well, Jim Cramer said he's good at this. I saw him on TV. I saw him on TV. It can't be a lie.

I saw him on Fox News. It must be true. Jim Cramer is mad money. I saw him on TV. It can't be a lie. I saw him on Fox News. It must be true. Mad money. That's mad as fuck. Bank of America, he owed $4.2 million to. All right. I mean, these are, and then there's just a bunch of other ones, too. They're the giant banks, though.

The biggest ones, he owed a shitload of money. We get to September of 2009. He is barred from his homes now. He's not allowed to go into his homes. They're foreclosed. He's accused of vandalizing them, taking all sorts of copper, like we said. Stealing copper, stealing AC units. There's actually security

guards there, posted by the trustees and the bank to make sure he doesn't come back and take more shit. Now we get to October 6, 2009. The Wall Street Journal reports that Lenny Dykstra sold his World Series ring. Ah.

That one piece of memorabilia that proves that he's a success. This is kind of sad, actually. That's terrible. Yeah, as much of a shit has he, like, that's something that I feel bad for somebody. That's the last one. That's the last piece. I feel bad for anyone that has to sell that. That's the one.

That's their identity. That's the thing that says, this is what I've done in my life. They go out, you put that on, you're legit. You know who that person is. that's that's their identity that's the thing that says this is what i've done in my life you put that on right you're you're legit you know who that person is that's the money goddamn yeah not a lot of people have so he sells that for 56 762 dollars undoubtedly to some mets fan um you know i wish i had 56 grand that's incorrect that's a great piece of that's just going toward his 31 million so debt. So it's an OJ situation. Same exact thing. Except he doesn't have all the shit that OJ had.

He's got things that he made up in his head and pictures of dogs. That's his main... I don't know what he's got. 2010, December 2010, he's accused of... This is the scummiest thing he did, by the way. He's accused of hiring a female escort who was also a porn chick named Monica Foster. Yep.

I don't know who that is. So taught. I'm sure she was. And he wrote her a bad check. What a piece of shit. How much was the check? He wrote $1,000. Oh, Jesus.

A grant. You don't cheat. When was that? A whore. In 2010? 2010. That's. You don't cheat. When was that? A whore. In 2010? 2010. That's 12, 13, 2010. That is four years after that Bernard Goldberg piece on Real Sports.

And on that Real Sports, he's pulling out cash out of his pocket going, I don't know about broke. I got cash right here. That was my favorite thing. And he said, I always carry a grand on me. Why couldn't you pay this bitch? And he pulled out the wad of bills because they said, aren't you broke? And he pulls out this wad of bills and starts fumbling through them

like he was going to give Bernard five dollars or something. Bernard goes, you got 75 bucks. I like it. I never carry less than a thousand. He's just fumbling through money. You owe 17 and a half million dollars

on a house. Your pocket cash isn't what we're talking about here. All the house we're standing in having this conversation about your thousand dollars. You just do not, you just do not you just do not

uh do that to a sex worker i'm sorry that's like we're comics yeah we go out we do our thing we feel we feel fucking cheap and beaten afterwards anyway at least give us our check and at least i didn't have clear i don't have a piece of somebody's anatomy in and out of me for hours no but mentally we really do we really do do. I'm not going to say sex workers have it worse than comedians. I'll never fucking say that. I'll never say that. Mentally, it's just as abusive on us. So, yeah, a gram.

Wrote her a shit check that bounced. That's incredible. The next month, January 2011, he was accused of sexual assault of his housekeeper. I can imagine. She said he would make her blow him on Saturdays. They asked why he didn't quit. She said, I needed the job.

What are you going to do? She needs a job. It's Saturdays. He's like, he'll tell you what you can do here. On Saturdays, you could either do like a real, like a grout deep clean between the tiles in the kitchen, or you could blow me. And she was like, that takes much less time. I don't know what happened there but apparently everybody else in america was forward

to saturday not this great she's like oh not the weekend that's the way to fuck somebody's whole god damn it everybody's like tgif she's like go fuck yourself yeah if right not good Fuck yourself. Yeah, I F. Friday. Not good. Go fuck yourself, I F. Oh, man. On April 14, 2011, he's arrested and charged. He's arrested, charged with bankruptcy fraud. Yeah. And then there's a separate arrest in this whole thing.

He's arrested at the same time, but different agencies arrested him. For grand theft and in relation to auto purchases. He's held on 500 grand. Brought a stolen car. He did a lot of car things. That's what he went to prison for, was the cars. All the shit he did, all these investments, who knows where people were putting money in and it was going out. This is where he really... And you know, going back to Donald Trump, he did use everything, the system of America, he used it to his advantage to fuck other people and benefit himself and then he gets caught he's like he's like he's like al

capone of baseball where al capone goes to jail for tax evasion this fuck goes to jail for buying a stolen car well it's a lot and it's a it's a it's a financial scheme so on uh june 6 2011 he's arrested again charged with 25 misdemeanor and felony counts of grand theft, auto, identity theft, filing false financial statements, and possession of cocaine, ecstasy, and HGH. Good. That's a full roundup of charges. That is the whole enchilada. They essentially hit him for all the charges that they missed on Al Capone. Yeah.

They caught him for everything else he's doing. Al Capone doing ecstasy. Got all jacked up on HGH. That was terrible for Chicago. Drugs and all that shit. And they catch him for it. He pleads no contest on the financial stuff.

The identity theft, filing false financial statements for them to drop the drug charges. That's why they did it anyway. They muscled them a little bit. Takes a plea. 2011, June 29th, the mansion sold to the trustees. Good for him. Not for him, for them.

They get their money back. They get their cash back. We get to August 25th, 2011. He's charged with indecent exposure. Jesus. He was apparently placing ads on Craigslist, allegedly placing ads on Craigslist for an assistant or for housekeepers, and then telling them when they got there the job also required massage,

and then he'd take his pants off and put his cock out. The massage is right here, right in my midsection. So he'd get naked like, let's get started. It's Saturday. I don't think so. So September 7th, he pleads not guilty, doing decent exposure. Then we get to the next year on March 5th of 2012. He tries to withdraw his no contest plea when they go to sentence him.

He sits there the whole time. Then they go, OK, your sentencing's up. And he goes, I don't want to do this anymore. Let's change our minds. Let's change our minds. He's trying to draw it out. They tell him, sorry, pal. I don't think so. Go fuck yourself. You signed a paper. It's Saturday. You're going to blow some up. Remember how you loved Saturdays? We're going to make you hate them. It's not going to be as good. He is sentenced to three years in

state prison, credited with a year time served. That's nice. So that's two years, whatever. years in state prison, credited with a year time served. That's nice. So that's two years, you know, whatever. Basically, the thing was he would buy,

him and his associates, he had a whole band of fucking merry lunatics here, would buy cars with false statements and stolen identities. So this is like,

that's hardcore. That's deep. That's not just, I'm in debt and I'm not paying the bank and I'm buying Maybex. This is... Really making an effort.

That is criminal shit absolutely that's very criminal um finally he does some time in prison while he's in prison some bad things happen to him regarding guards allegedly and we're going to get to that later because he's made some really amazing statements recently just recently uh he's released in uh he goes to in victorville california he's released in j 2013. Six and a half months served. He's on probation, weekly drug testing. Lives with his ex-wife, Terry, who does not plan to remarry him either. She's like, you can stay here, but then your mumbling ass is getting out of here when you can pay the rent.

She ain't Bruno's wife. She is not Bruno's wife. No. No conjugal business. She's not babysitting any stolen babies. Yeah, said he read his first book in prison, which is goddamn amazing. That's hilarious. Now, recently, he's come out and been a character again.

He started to make himself known in this whole thing. Doing interviews. 2015, he comes out and says he spent 500 grand on investigators to get dirt on umpires. Basically, he's claiming he put a... I'll give you his quote. Let's do in their own words, Jimmy. I love it.

What do you say? Fire up that music. In their own words, here we go. This is what he said about hiring private investigators to spy on umpires. I thought to myself, I need these umpires. So what do I do? I pull out half a million bucks

and I hired a private investigation team. Figure the umpires, their blood is just as red as ours. Some of them like women. Some of them like men. Some of them gamble. Some of them do whatever. It wasn't a coincidence, do you think, that I led the league in walks for the next two years, was it? Fear does a lot to a man.

He spits out so many fucking cliches. And then he says he would get up to the plate and he'd be like, hey, did you cover your bet last night? Did you cover last night? And the ump would call a strike and he goes, oh, I don't think you heard me. Did you cover the spread last night? And so then they get a little tighter with the strike zone at that point. And, you know, he's such a bullshitter in the terms of, like,

anybody that you know personally in your family that's just that guy that's known for just stretching the truth in any fucking way. He's that guy. When he was a kid he'd be like I had sex with this girl. She's like in South Carolina. She's really hot though.

She'll let me finger her. And then her sister came in. Right, there it is. And then he takes that extra thing. Her sister came in. We all fucked. And he's like, so can I get your credit card number? I'm like, what?

He goes on Cal and Cal Heard. And he said he's writing a book about why he shouldn't have been in prison. So he still doesn't get it. That's the thing. It's that shark. It's no concept of failure. He's going gonna write a book going look i'm a good guy oh obviously the ring's gone um the ring's gone you're a fucking failure

you are a failure he comes out in uh in uh november of 2015 so recently and says uh he thinks he has brain damage you think he says he's got brain damage but he says why he got brain damage not running in the walls or anything like that. He wants to sue L.A. County for $15 million, Los Angeles County. Here it comes. Because he said in 2012 deputies pulled him out of his cell and beat the holy shit out of him with nightsticks and everything else. He said, while whistling, take me out to the ball game.

That's his claim. Being honest, I'd pay to watch it just whacking a guy that would be amazing because he seems to be such a racist yeah yeah cracker whack a black guy saying that probably yeah maybe he heard his previous quotes and he's like hey stop hitting me i put three darkies on the covers what do you want from me for christ's sake female body the female guard hits his leg there was a bitch there was a bitch so uh he said they broke his teeth apart and his teeth are still broken and he has problems eating and uh he claims they broke his skull but there's no documentation and he says that it must have been videotaped

because everything was in surveillance but he's afraid it's destroyed by now which if they cracked the guy's skull open I'm sure it was. December of 2015

Daily News catches up with him in New York New York City paper. They're such ruthless dicks. I love them. Find him playing Santa in a rooftop party.

Pictures with him and three elf-dressed strippers. Amazing. That's just his, that sums up his whole life. It's great. He's complaining that Pete Rose

isn't in the Hall of Fame. Guys aren't in because of roids. That's bullshit. Harry Bonshabi's just having a whole big thing. How many drugs must have been in his system?

And then, to close out this story, let's do it with a little in their own words. I can't wait. Here we go. This is what he tells the Daily News. They ask him, you know, what are you doing basically?

How are you coping? How's your life? And he says, I got all kinds of stuff going on. Every day above ground is a good day. It's about bringing something to the party. Give people kind of give people hope. Without hope, we got nothing. I'm doing a big book, moving the chains, getting some first downs.

Slowly but surely, we'll get in the end zone. He's got brain damage. He's got lots of brain damage. You didn't play that sport. You didn't play that sport. That's so good. He is mixing metaphors. That's so good.

He's got a big, I'm doing a big book. Retarded Donald Trump. It's so big. That's going to be. That's so good. I'm doing a big book. Retarded Donald Trump. It's so big. That's going to be the name of this episode, I think. Like a retarded Donald Trump. Call it that, please. Violent Forrest Gump we've had and now retarded Donald Trump. That's what he is. He's retarded Donald Trump.

It's so good. I know retarded is not something we can say or whatever. You can't say darky either. If he can say darky, I can call him retarded is not something we can say or whatever you know what fucking you can't say dark pretty fucking yeah he can say dark yeah i can call him retarded fuck him so yeah he's gonna end up in the end zone i mean and that's that's lenny dykstra man in a nutshell he's out there right now two months from three months removed from a santa suit and some strippers on a rooftop what do you say about that man he's a's a nightmare. He really is a nightmare. Great player. Can you imagine that? All the heart in the world. He's a fantastic grandfather. He is. He's got, I mean. He's cool. I want that. If I'm three or four like his grandson

is, that's a great guy to grow up and tell stories about later. He's fun. Yeah. You're going to hear stories from him too. Holy shit. Even if they're not true, you're going to hear stories at least. I don't know. I can't wait. I want to meet him terribly. Yeah. You're going to hear stories from him, too. Holy shit. Even if they're not true, you're going to hear stories. At least. I don't know. I can't wait. I want to meet him terribly. Yeah, he's beloved by the players.

Like I said, beloved. If only Lenny Dykstra could have played baseball his entire life, he'd be fine. Honestly. If only he could take the dedication he had to baseball and dedicate that to just being a good goddamn person. Just, yeah, stop trying. But it's like he had this thing, whatever it was. It's the psychology. It's the Billy Bean thing.

Yeah, he milked the banks. I'm going to read it one more. He was able to instantly forget any failure and draw strength from every success. He had no concept of failure. He's a great white. Did Billy Bean sum him up without knowing that he was doing it? And that was, when did he say that? 2002.

2002. He told Michael Lewis, the author of Moneyball. His career is over. He's off into the sunset with his $50 million from his car washes, ready to just go retire, put this in the bank, and just chill out. And he can't fucking do it. Because why? Because he can't rest on his laurels.

I'm telling you, man. Billy Bean had him nailed. It's a wonder the A's suck all the time. It's amazing. He's a smart guy. Yeah, yeah. So that's Lenny Dykstra. Please, guys, also, we didn't say this up front because we got right in and we were so excited,

but please follow us on Twitter at Crime and Sports. There it is. Facebook.com. Facebook.com backslash Crime and Sports. Gmail. Crimeandsports at gmail.com. That's it. Please rate and review on iTunesunes we cannot explain to you i don't know how their algorithms work but that's

the big deal rate and review we've got a few lately you guys are awesome thank you so so much really for listening thank you yeah that's it we love you guys for listening and putting up with us it really is fun we love doing this and we hope you enjoy listening seeing ticks on on on the stat sheet from outside of this country is fantastic. It's cool. That feels really cool. We saw somebody was listening, a couple people were listening in Ghana,

which we thought was interesting. I'm going to be honest with you. I'm a fucking idiot. I don't know where that is. I'm going to Google it, though. Western Africa. I assumed it was some shit country. It's not near as cool as the U.S.

But thank you for listening. Interesting fact about Ghana. Lenny Dykstra is willing to put three people from Ghana on the cover of his magazine, but only three. So,

please join us next week. Thank you. Every Tuesday. Jimmy, want to give them your Twitter handle? Yeah, at WismanSucks,

W-H-I-S-M-A-N. It's Twitter and Instagram. And I'm at JimmyPIsFunny. Next week, please join us. Next week, I believe we're going to do

Sally McNeil I want to we've teased it yeah we're gonna do this she's such a mess she's a crazy weightlifter lady that is

it's gonna be as fun as anything yeah I'm telling you guys and if I was single it's wild I'm pretty sure I would be her victim

she's fucking probably I love her she's so fucking hot that's so awesome but upcoming episodes we have really good stuff we have a couple football guys

a soccer guys that one I can't wait for Gavin Grant's gonna be fun yes maybe look at uh we're gonna look at uh ryan leaf around the nfl draft all of his interesting stuff we're gonna get into that we're gonna get into uh mark gator gregowski the skater uh skateboarder kills his girlfriend we have so many lined up uh baseball football basketball soccer, basketball, soccer, extra sports. Wait, you name it, we're going to do it. The sociopath ain't our last. Whatever it is, just trust us.

It's funny. That's what we're looking at. We're looking at quality, funny stuff. So join us next week. Thank you so much, everybody. See you next week. Bye. Hey, Prime members.

You can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey. Taylor Swift is soaring high, her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans. She's broken billboard records and made Grammys history, not to mention becoming a billionaire in the process. But along the way, Taylor has had to wage war, first by taking on a very powerful, very famous manager, Scooter Braun, and then by going up against the biggest live events company, Ticketmaster. Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery's show, Business Wars.

We go deep into some of the biggest corporate rivalries of all time. And in our latest season, Taylor Swift will shake up not only the music business, but Hollywood and the NFL. Follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app.