Crime in Sports - #80 - Impulsive Actions, Killer Results - The Jealousness of Leslie Hylton
Episode Date: August 15, 2017This week, we go down a deep hole of rage, and crazy. We look deep into the past to break down a man from a different time, that tended to react poorly to unwanted news, to say the least. He ...was a hero in his country, but threw it all away, and ended up being handed the most severe penalty in CIS history!! Sticky up your wicket, move in with your mother in law, and shoot at the moon with Leslie Hylton!!Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanDonate at...patreon.com/crimeinsportsSupport our sponsors:Go to ziprecruiter.com/crime to post your job to over 100 sites with one click for FREE!Go to blueapron.com/crime to get your first 3 meals FREE with FREE shipping!! Check out or site: truecrimecomedyteam.comAll web support by Web and Writer webandwriter.com or Facebook.com/webandwriterContact us on...twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/crimeinsports  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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The Queen of the Courtroom is back.
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you can say anything it's an all-new season judy justice only on freebie Hello and welcome back to Crime and Sports.
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Thank you for joining us each and every week.
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Let's do this.
Let's do this and let's get we're going to get weird tonight, man.
This is a weird one.
This is strange.
We've never.
This is a sport we've never done.
This is a weird circumstance.
A sport we've never done.
The time period is a time period we've never done before.
We're stepping outside comfort zones.
We're stepping outside the U.S.
We're stepping outside everything.
And we're looking at Leslie Hylton.
Leslie Hylton.
He's a cricket player, Jimmy.
Okay.
Cricket.
Yes.
And you might not have heard of him, even if you know cricket, if you're, you know, like a Jimmy.
I'm super versed in cricket.
How many cricket players can you name off Jimmy. I'm super versed in cricket.
How many cricket players can you name off the top of your head?
Casey Jones.
Yes, exactly.
I know nothing about cricket, neither does Jimmy,
and we're going to try to figure it out as we go along and help you guys figure it out.
And most of all, though, we've got a crazy crime, too, that happens here that is absolutely wild that we'll get to.
But, yeah, cricket. Full disclosure, we we'll get to. But yeah, cricket.
Full disclosure, we have a cricket bat.
Yeah, we do. We have a cricket bat from PythonCricket.com.
For all your cricket bat needs, they sent us
a cricket bat a long time ago, which was
really, really cool of them. It's unbelievable.
We really had a ton of listeners or anything like that.
They liked us and decided to send us a cricket bat.
I have no idea how to hold it,
which end you use, but I gotta tell you, I keep it in my bedroom, and send us a cricket bat. I have no idea how to hold it, which end you use.
But I got to tell you, I keep it in my bedroom, and it's a good weapon.
I'm going to tell you, it's heavy.
It's sturdy.
Somebody comes in that bedroom that doesn't need to be there.
They're going to catch a cricket bat.
That's a nice – and it's sturdy.
It's got a good grip on it.
I'm like, yeah, I like this thing.
Fuck yeah, the grip is unbelievable.
Love that thing.
So let's talk about – we'll get into the cricket stuff.
But before that, he's born in March 29, 1905.
Oh, Jesus.
So even if you knew your cricket players, you might not know of his cricket exploits
because he is super old.
This is the oldest case we've done.
That would make him 112 today.
He would be 112 right now if he was still alive, which he's not, and we'll find out
why.
He's born in Kingston, Jamaica.
Oh.
He's a Jamaican guy.
Kingston, let's, first of all, we have to, before we get into the crime
or the sport, we have to kind of set the time
period because 1905, the
world is a completely different place.
Oh my God. It's completely night
and day from what it is now. Even
Kingston, where he's born, at the
time he's born in 1905, Kingston
has around 50,000 people in it.
It has just under 700,000
nowadays. So it's completely different.
Even the city was different.
It's not like if you were born in Manhattan in 1905 or you were born in Manhattan in 2005,
you're still born in the middle of the city and blah, blah, blah.
But this is a-
There's still buildings and shit.
Exactly.
This is a different thing completely.
Other things going on in 1905, this is how long ago this was.
The Russo-Japanese War was winding down. The Russians and the Japanese were fighting each other. Oh, Russo. It's Russo-Japanese War was winding down.
The Russians and the Japanese were fighting each other.
Oh, Russo.
It's Russo-Japanese.
Okay.
The Russians and Japanese.
Think about that.
I thought it was like a person named Russo was fighting the Japanese.
Johnny Russo is fighting the entire country of Japan.
He goes, you sons of bitch bastards.
You sons of bitches.
How fucking dare you?
Get out here and fight me.
All of you.
I don't give a shit.
Let's go.
Come on with your hopping around with your nunchucks and your karate kicks.
I'll kick all your asses.
Fuck with me.
I'll get my brother Freddy.
So that's who we have here.
Johnny Russo fighting the entire nation of Japan.
But yeah, we have the Russo-Japanese War.
So I mean, that's how long ago it was when Russia was fighting the Japanese, which is
just an odd...
That happened in World War II, too.
But I mean, this wasn't a different...
This wasn't even...
This was 40 years prior.
And this wasn't Russia like communist Russia.
This is pre-Russian Revolution Russia.
Wow.
This is kind of what helped spark the Russian Revolution.
Unbelievable.
Because on January 2nd, Russia surrendered to China, in a part of China, they were fighting
in different theaters.
They couldn't get over that wall?
This one theater, no.
I believe it was Northwest China.
They surrender.
And so that kind of kicks into the Russian Revolution.
There's a lot of political and social unrest and all this in Russia that leads to them
being communists and Lenin and all that good stuff that we are still dealing with now happened
because the Japanese beat them in China 112 years ago.
So that's what's happening there.
Other things happening that year.
This is unbelievable.
Albert Einstein, on March 17th of that year, publishes his paper on, quote, whoa,
heuristic viewpoint concerning the production and transformation of light.
In 1905.
In 1905. In 1905.
Wow.
Which explains the photoelectric effect using the notion of light quanta.
And I still haven't read that shit.
No idea.
112 years later, I'm still much dumber than anyone was back then, or especially him.
Yeah.
In April, Albert Einstein works on his special theory of relativity.
Wow.
Which is like, this is when this is going on.
He's figuring out the atom bomb right now.
He's figuring it out.
And right around this time, Leslie was born March 29th.
In April, he's working on the theory of relativity.
So, I mean, that's when he's born.
May 15th, Las Vegas is founded.
Wow.
The city of Las Vegas is founded when they take 110 acres that later becomes downtown
and auctions it off to just whoever the hell wants a bunch of desert in the middle of nowhere.
Whatever men in fucking suits that have organized crime in New York want.
Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer are being banned from the Brooklyn Public Library for setting a bad example, it says.
Novocaine is introduced.
Wow.
They don't just rub cocaine on your fucking gums.
You know what I mean?
It's what? Wol wolves become extinct in Japan.
What?
Apparently there was wolves and now there's not.
I didn't know they were extinct there.
All of this happened in 1905 in addition to Leslie Hylton being born to a life of cricket.
Leslie grows up in Kingston.
He loses his mother when he's only three years old.
So very young age to lose his mother.
He's brought up by his aunt.
I mean, who the hell knows?
In 1905, she might have had, I don't know, anything because they didn't have antibiotics
or penicillin back then.
So really anything could have killed her.
He's raised by his aunt until she dies when he's 12.
Fuck.
Tough upbringing here for Leslie.
Surrounded by death.
Surrounded by death.
And also, too, when he's a small child, when he's two, in addition to this is right before his mother died, they had the giant Kingston earthquake of 1907.
Okay.
Which was a huge earthquake.
That destroyed all the dirt.
That destroyed everything.
Shook these dirt structures to the ground.
Right down to the core.
Turned the rocks into rocks.
It was a 6.5 on the Richter scale, so that's a big one, man.
At the time, it was one of the world's deadliest earthquakes recorded.
Wow.
Yeah, it was wild.
Death of up to 1,000 people, left 10,000 people homeless,
and caused at the time $25 million in material damage, which in 1905—
That's a lot. It was pretty much the entire island was worth $25 million in material damage, which in 1905 was pretty much the entire island
was worth $25 million.
It lasted for three hours.
What?
This earthquake.
Yeah, everything was on fire.
Every single building in the city was damaged.
That is terrifying.
And nobody was, yeah, nothing was built for that.
Can you think of, like, being in that state of panic for three hours straight, you just
got to assume that it's never going to stop.
Yeah, this is hell.
At some point.
This is the apocalypse.
At 30 minutes in, you just got to be going, how am I still alive?
I'm dying.
This must be the apocalypse.
Yeah, this is it.
This is what's going on here.
Also, after that, on the north shore of Jamaica, there was a giant tsunami because of the earthquake.
Of course, because it's been shaking for three fucking hours.
Horrible time there.
So he grows up in hard times.
Dead mother, rebuilding of the city as a child.
Everybody in the town is dead.
Everybody's dead.
It's a bad time here, Han.
Jesus.
His childhood, right around the time his aunt died, when he was about 12 years old, he leaves school.
Because, you know, what else are you going to do if you're in Jamaica in 1905?
It wasn't like back then they were like, we need to get this kid an education.
They were like, well, to get this kid an education.
They were like, well, he's shit.
He could have been in the factory like three years ago. So he's slacking at this point.
He's like an old guy in the workforce.
We've got a whole town that needs to be rebuilt.
He can hold a hammer.
Get the fuck to work.
Instead, he takes up, he's a tailor's apprentice at a place called Henry Shakespeare.
That was the shop he worked at.
Henry Shakespeare. That just sounds like he worked at. Henry Shakespeare.
That just sounds like fancy English clothes probably.
So they were like, that works.
He later changes paths in his teen years because he starts getting big.
He's a six-foot guy in stocky, which back then is a big guy.
Real big, strong.
He's athletic.
He's strong.
He becomes a dock worker after a while because that makes sense.
He probably made better money.
Or he just wanted to get out in the fresh air.
I don't know what the hell he's doing.
It's Jamaica.
It's beautiful from what I'm told.
Yeah, you're down at a dock.
It's got to be by the ocean.
That's a good thing.
But he's poor.
He's poorly educated.
He's from the underclass.
And that's another big thing that plays a large role in this is class was a huge deal in jamaica as it is here now as it is everywhere it has been since the dawn of time
yeah in jamaica it was really really like oh you're the lower class you're like dog shit basically and
the legal system didn't work the same way for you and nothing worked the same way for you
but this particular guy here leslie he was really good at cricket at a young age,
and he's, like I said, a big athletic guy.
Now cricket.
Let's get into cricket, shall we?
Jimmy laughs because neither of us know shit about cricket.
I don't care what you're about to say right now.
I'm just going to nod and go, yeah, that sounds right.
Yeah, that sounds good.
No, please ask questions if you don't understand something, which I don't.
Okay, first of all, I watched a lot of cricket to prepare for this. hard to do because those games are long i can't figure it the fuck out i can't figure it
out buzz tried to explain it makes no sense and he sent me videos it makes no sense i tried so hard
it's hard to understand okay first thing i have to ask you and i apologize we have when we ask
this on all of these please find our ignorance charm because we know shit about cricket we're going to try.
Here's something I don't understand about cricket.
Put a wall up.
Yeah.
All around it.
They just have these little like bump jump things.
These little like six inch high like you're keeping puppies in a play area.
It's the weirdest thing.
Define where we need to put this ball.
Yeah.
And then they go over the thing and nobody really chases it that hard.
And I'm like, does that mean it's like a ground rule double now?
I don't know what's going on.
I'm super goddamn confused by it.
And they get a whole lot of fucking swings at it, too.
Oh, they're swinging at it.
I don't know what the goal is.
Half the time, is the goal to get it past the guy?
I haven't got a clue.
As a pitcher, as a bowler, let's get into it.
Let's get into it.
Cricket, let's start from scratch, shall we?
Let's start right from the beginning. Let's clear the slate. Starting from scratch, let's get into it. Let's get into it. Cricket, let's start from scratch, shall we? Let's start right from the beginning.
Let's clear the slate.
Starting from scratch, let's assume, and I apologize, our British and our Irish and our Australian and New Zealand.
Everybody that plays this shit.
We apologize.
This is going to be rudimentary for you.
Don't worry.
You can laugh at us.
It's going to be fine.
Let's start from scratch to the dumb Americans.
And I don't know, Canadians, you the dumb Americans and Canadians who play cricket.
You probably play cricket because you
come from the English. Anyway,
this is the description
of it here. It's a ball and bat
game that I knew about.
It's two teams of 11 players each
on the field like American football.
So 11 players each
at the center
of which is a rectangular 22 yard long pitch with a target called the wicket.
Now that I've seen.
That's the thing standing up there.
It looked like a – not a horseshoe.
What are those?
A wicket.
A wicket.
It looks like a wicket.
It's a set of three wooden stumps topped by two bales at each end.
That's the definition of it.
Wow.
Each phase of play is called an inning, which one team bats and attempts to score in the
other opponent's field.
So it's like baseball in that.
They try to score as many runs as possible.
Cricket was invented before baseball, right?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Cricket's an old sport here.
So they got the inning before us.
Yeah, that's where they got it from.
Baseball from...
There's a lot of disputed shit of where baseball comes from, but it's kind of like they said
they took a game called base that they played, and then they kind of mixed that with cricket,
and they kind of-
And then perfected the shit out of it is what they did.
Yeah, they took rules from each thing and said 90 feet's the perfect amount of distance
to have between the bases, and they-
Three chances to take a swing at a ball that's within your fucking swinging range, and that's
enough.
Yeah, exactly.
That's all you get.
You want to be a man? That's what you get. Three chances. swinging range, and that's enough. Yeah, exactly. That's all you get. You want to be a man?
That's what you get.
Three chances.
Three chances, and that's it.
Now it says, depending, this is what I got out of this,
depending on the type of match, the teams have one or two innings apiece,
and when the first innings end, the team swap roles for the next inning,
which makes sense.
Except in matches which result in a draw,
the winning team is the one that scores the most runs,
including any extras gained.
This shit does not make any sense to me.
We're going to get more into it before.
Okay.
This is what it looks like to me.
Okay.
And this is weird.
First of all, the guy comes up to bat.
He's the batter, I assume, because it says batting stats.
So he's the batter, and he's got the cricket bat, and he's got like a looks like what a woman wears to do like horse riding.
That kind of helmet.
Like their hat helmet thing except with a face mask on it.
They got a face mask?
They got like a metal – like a face mask on there.
They come up.
They stand there.
Looks like they don't really take a swing at the ball.
They just kind of try to shoot it out almost like – there's no wrist in this at all.
If you guys just swapped your wrist a little bit, just got a little break in the wrist.
You might be able to get a little more bounce in that shit.
Crush that goddamn thing.
Are you not supposed to hit it in the air?
Is that the goal?
There sure isn't a lot of it.
Because they don't seem to be trying to hit it in the air a lot.
Like, I don't understand if that's like, has no one ever thought of it?
Just to not hit, or is it like that not okay?
Is it better to hit it on the ground?
You're supposed to hit it at something, I believe. And are are the guys do they have gloves on in the field i couldn't see
if they are they're very small and if that's a fucking heavy ball yeah it's bigger than a baseball
yeah it's heavy it's big and i'll tell you that by what uh by how fast they throw it later on
which is crazy too god we sound like idiots right now but we're literally trying to figure it out
trying to figure out what the like an eight-year-old figure out your fucking sport i don't know it at all and i literally i really
tried i even watched like tutorial things yeah and it just doesn't make any sense to me i guess
i'm trained from other sports and trained in baseball that's the problem is it makes no sense
when you when you're trained on something that's a tradition in your country i'm sure that they
laugh at our fucking yeah well yeah i'm sure we're not saying they're better. We're just, that's what we're used to.
I feel like they get like 10, something like 10 chances.
Maybe.
Or 10 balls to hit.
It's crazy what it is.
I saw one go past the guy one time, but then the batter seemed happy about it.
But he seemed happy about it.
I'm like, but that's not good, I thought.
I thought you were trying to block it.
And then they say that the other guy's trying to, is he trying to hit the wicket?
The pitcher? The bowler? I'm not sure. I don't think he is, because the other guy's standing right in front block it. And then they say that the other guy is trying to hit the wicket? The pitcher?
The bowler?
I don't think he is because the other guy is standing right in front of it.
It would be like if you're standing on top of home plate.
Go and put it over the plate.
You can't put it over the plate.
There's a man there.
You're standing there, dickhead.
So it makes no sense.
Wow.
Anyway, we'll get into a little more of the...
This gets him opportunity.
Let's just say that.
His cricket skills bring him more opportunity than most guys down at the docks.
He starts to become a little famous around the island.
He starts playing.
People know who you are if you're one of the big cricket guys.
Yeah.
You're one of 11 guys.
That's it.
Life's going well for him.
He debuts in 1927.
It's a three-day match.
That's the other thing.
That's too much.
They have days-long matches, three-day-long matches.
That's too much. Where at the end, they're like, it's a draw.
That's called the NBA playoffs.
And by the way, there's no fucking draw.
Somebody better win.
If you play for three days and nobody wins, holy shit.
No, there would be riots.
Imagine going to a game every day for three days.
We got to go back again.
It's still going.
We got tickets, Dad.
We're going.
We're going.
And then at the end, they're like, it's a draw.
When you get home, who won?
It's a draw.
I would ram a ticket up a fucking player's ass.
You better get out there and score, goddammit.
No wonder why everybody's stoned in Jamaica.
They have to be.
Otherwise, they'd burn the fucking field to the ground.
I would go nuts.
Three fucking days and it's a draw? No.
I'm not doing that at all. So anyway, he
debuts on February
19th, 21st
and 22nd of 1927
in a three-day match. It's
at Sabina Park in Kingston, Jamaica.
It's Jamaica versus
L.H.
Tennyson's XI.
I don't know what the fuck that is.
Tennyson, that's in England.
Yeah, it's an English team that comes to play them, but I don't know exactly what that is.
Whatever.
The results of this three-day match, drawn.
Match drawn.
Fuck you.
Yeah, match drawn.
No.
I don't understand it.
Hylton plays in this.
People are upset enough watching a football game that ends in a tie that took
three hours of their life in America.
People lose their shit over that.
A day.
How do you do three days?
I have no fucking idea.
I,
I have no idea.
He has in this,
he has 12 overs.
What?
Um,
he has,
uh,
one.
What does the M stand for again?
Oh, I had this shit memorized.
The M, I don't remember what the M stands for.
He had one M.
He had four, one M.
He had 41 R's, whatever the fuck that is.
I'm guessing runs.
41 runs and zero wickets.
Okay.
So that doesn't seem good.
Seems like he should have had more wickets than that.
That many chances?
He should have got at least one. A wicket or two? I don't know. How many
wickets you got there, buddy? Come on, get your shit together
with the wickets. I'm not sure.
Wickets may be something bad.
I'm looking at this stat sheet.
The totals here, wow, this is wild.
Totals for Jamaica
in the first innings, they had nine
wickets declared.
To declare them, is that different than...
You've got to declare them if you want them.
You have to, like, declare it before you take it over?
Is that what it is?
You have to declare your intent?
You know what?
I just remembered something that I was told.
There's something like capture the flag going on in this, too.
Okay.
Wow.
So you've got to...
That just threw a really...
Yeah, so you've got to declare the wicket, and they can't in the inning or something like that.
But wouldn't you always want the wicket?
Yeah, you want to declare the fucking wicket.
Don't you just declare it when you step out on the field always?
I want all the wickets.
I think you've got to put the ball through it.
No, I said it first.
So what if the other guys put the ball through it and you declared it?
It's not shotgun, Jesus.
That's what I mean.
You call it.
Well, then what are you fucking declaring then? Everyone's trying to get...
You declare it by hitting it? I don't fucking know.
Okay. Everyone's trying to get
whatever the goal is. Everyone's trying to declare the fucking
wicket. That's the goal. Let's just say
the goal is to get wickets.
Declaring them, I would feel like
it's just by showing up you're declaring that you...
I'm clearly declaring it. I'm
wearing a uniform. I'm here.
I have this stupid women's riding helmet.
Women's riding helmet.
I have this fucking badass bat.
Yeah, this awesome bat.
It's from fucking Python Cricket.
PythonCricket.com.
I'm here to play.
I'm here to play, goddammit.
I am here to declare that fucking wicket.
That wicket.
So I don't know what that means, but apparently it doesn't mean it's great because it was
a draw.
So apparently the other team had nine wickets declared, too.
Maybe they declared more.
Oh, those sons of bitches.
Oh, they had to declare the same amount.
You're right.
They had to declare the same.
I guess.
Maybe they didn't.
I don't know.
That's so dumb.
One guy had five wickets on the team.
Wow.
A Scott.
With the last name Scott.
He had five wickets on him.
And the one for the Jamaican team.
That's pretty good.
He's wicketing it up.
They better keep that motherfucker around.
Oof, man. He's assigned as a free agent.
That kind of wicked play gets you signed.
Jesus Christ, there's so many dumbness.
Wow.
So he is right-handed, and he's a fast bowler.
And they call him an aggressive lower-order batsman,
which I don't know what that means,
even though I tried to find out.
But I do imagine it's like being a lead-off hitter that bunts a lot i feel like maybe maybe that's what
i was guessing like later in the lineup cleanup hitter okay that's one way to put it lower order
batsman i was thinking maybe it's like and he's like an on base guy like a fast like a speed guy
maybe he just bats number eight he's like vince coleman maybe but they put him at the bottom of
the lineup instead of the top maybe Maybe he bats like Randy Johnson batted
so they tucked his ass at the back.
Maybe. That's possible. But he's an aggressive
lower-order batsman.
He's aggressively batting.
Is it that, or are there guys that
are aggressive? Are there guys that are up there to be passive?
Are there a passive lower-order? Is there a passive
upper-order? Oh, wow.
Now you're on to something. He passes it off so
that the guy that's aggressive at the back of the lineup gets his chance.
I don't know.
They get 3,000 chances to hit this shit.
They do.
And out of all that, they only declared nine wickets.
So, I mean, what the fuck, man?
After three fucking days of being aggressive in the lower end.
No, that's bullshit.
That's bullshit.
You and your wickets can go somewhere else here.
So, the bowler here, this is like the pitcher if you're a baseball fan here.
Apparently it's one of three main approaches to bowling in the sport of cricket.
There is fast bowling, which I guess is just trying to zip it past the guy.
Your overhand shit.
Your overhand shit, and they bounce it once.
It's a wild scene, man.
It's so weird.
It looks dangerous, too, honestly, the way they're playing it.
It feels like they need a bigger helmet.
A bigger helmet or more something.
I don't know.
Some pads or something.
They have those big, goofy hockey goalie gloves on, basically, that they're using.
Oh, they have that at batting.
That's right.
Yeah, they're using those big old gloves.
In case it touches your precious fingers.
Yeah, they just kind of shove the bat into your gloves because you can barely hold them.
You have Mickey Mouse gloves.
Yeah, they're really ridiculous, really thick.
You have Mickey Mouse gloves.
Yeah, they're really ridiculous, really thick.
Apparently there's also spin bowling or medium pace or what they call swing bowling.
What's your slider?
Yeah, the pace bowlers are known as fast bowlers.
Apparently they say that a fast bowler here doesn't need to have a super high speed, but apparently most of the guys now that are coming into cricket have more of a higher speed.
It's becoming a high-speed pitching scenario.
I don't know what's going on here.
You're apparently just trying to get the ball past the guy.
You're just trying to blow it past him, just like a fastball.
He's looking inside.
You throw outside, that sort of thing.
You screw up.
He fouls it off.
He can't lay off the high, fast one, so pitch it over his head like that. Yeah, that's exactly right. You screw up, he fouls it off. He can't lay off the high fast one, so pitch it over his head.
That's exactly right.
It's very baseball oriented.
Yes, exactly. Then you have your
swing bowlers, which are
apparently like a curveball.
They're curveball throwers through the air, which I
don't know how that would work with the bounce.
Yeah, it's got a bounce. Here's the thing.
Wow, I'm so confused. If you want this shit to
catch on worldwide, and especially in America, you've got to simplify this shit.
Yeah, I don't think they want it to catch on here.
I don't think they give a shit.
It's complicated, but that's the thing.
Who knows if it's complicated?
Because baseball sounds complicated if you try this one.
You know it's fucking complicated because you've tried to understand this shit.
Let's go back to Blast from the Past, shall we?
Let's go back to Blast from the Past where we end? Let's go back to Blast from the Past where we go back, where we end up at, that's our baseline for some reason with Brendan Frazier.
Okay.
In Blast from the Past, they're in the basement and Christopher Walken's trying to explain baseball to him out of a book.
And he's like, and he's telling him, he's like, Brendan Frazier's like, well, why does the guy run?
Why does he go to the next base?
And Christopher Walken's like, because he must, son, because he must.
And he's like, but why?
Why can't he just stay put why he's if he's gonna get if because he's saying in a forced
play yeah when a guy's going from second to third and he's forced to go from second to third he's
like well why does he run then why does he just stay because there's a guy behind him coming
because he must he says and then he doesn't understand it and then later on the movie he's
watching a game and he sees it happen and he goes because he must i get it now when you see it you
have to see it and i i have i don't know if i've seen it and i watched it i and he goes, because he must. I get it now when you see it. You have to see it.
And I don't know if I've seen it and I watched it.
I don't know if that needs to be put together with Christopher Walken explaining this to me.
That would be fun.
From a textbook.
I would enjoy that.
I could probably understand this better if Christopher Walken explained the whole thing to me.
So here's the thing.
From a textbook.
Everybody start tweeting at Christopher Walken and get him to explain it to us while we watch it.
How many hits would that YouTube video get?
Christopher Walken explains cricket.
So many.
I would fucking watch that.
It would be bananas.
I would definitely watch that.
It would surpass the music video from Fatboy Slim of him dancing on the walls.
I guarantee it.
Oh, God, by far.
Now, there are some fast-ass bowlers here. The fastest guy was a Shoib, S-H-O-A-I-B.
Who gives a shit?
Shoib Akhtar.
That's his first name.
Shoib is his first name.
Akhtar, A-K-H-T-A-R.
That is, it sounds like he's allergic to something.
That's, yeah.
He's allergic to Shoib and Akhtar, both of them. I got a bad Akhtar reaction. His name sounds like a cough allergic to something. Yeah, he's allergic to show ab and actar, both of them.
I got a bad actar reaction.
His name sounds like a cough for Pete's sake.
Oh, it's terrible, man.
He reached a world record for speed during the World Cup 2003 against England when he bowled a 161.3 kilometer per hour speed ball.
161.3 kilometers. Which speed ball. 161.3 kilometers.
Which is about 100 miles an hour.
And he bowled that shit.
So he bounced that in.
Yeah, so that was the first bowler to reach a speed of 100 miles an hour in an official international cricket match.
Gotcha.
So since then, a lot of guys have done it.
They showed the top 10 fastest, and it was like, you know, 163.1.
163.056.
It was like very, like, you know,
we're getting into, they throw about 100 basically. Same as a baseball.
Unless you're, you know, Chapman or one of those guys.
So the wicket here, let's explain this
wicket thing here. It says here it's
guarded by a batsman,
which is a weird way to put it. It's guarded
by the batsman. Is he fucking smacking it back
at you? So is the goal to try to hit the wicket with the ball?
I feel like it is.
But how?
The guy's allowed to stand in front of it with a fucking bat
that he can just turn basically the width of the wicket
and just block it.
It makes no fucking sense.
Just fucking knock it back out.
Yeah, he's attempting.
Okay, he's got a bat,
and he's attempting to prevent the ball from hitting the wicket.
Okay? I guess they use the term
taking a wicket
is dismissed
it's like a strikeout
apparently I guess
or I don't know
if it's a strikeout
but it's a dismissal
of a batsman
which sounds very British
and polite
fuck yeah
you are dismissed
yeah
sir you may leave now
and he's like
oh thank you very much
for the opportunity sir
and he just walks away
and that'd be great
and on fire instead of
you're out
you are dismissed and the cricket pitch is sometimes called the wicket well how the fuck
does that work this doesn't make any sense how is that called the wicket if that's the you can't
call two different things that are in that's near each other the same fucking word we don't call the
ball the first down marker no you can't do that no no you can't good god you can't do that. No. No. You can't call door and window the same word.
No.
That doesn't fucking work.
They're different things.
Holy shit.
So, yeah, I don't know what that means at all, but he played.
He plays first class cricket, Leslie does, for Jamaica from 27 to 39.
He's in that whole time.
We're going to get into the international competition.
He goes and plays in England and makes him kind of famous.
I'm just so fascinated with his wicket
shit still. I can't get past it. I swear
it's like capture the flag. I just don't
understand it. If dismissed by
a bowler, the bowler is said to have taken
his wicket. What?
Wow. Yeah. The number of
wickets taken is the primary measure of a bowler's
ability. I'm going to say that's a strikeout.
Bowler's ability? What?
It's a good bowler.
Okay, so he's a pitcher, though.
So if he takes the wicket, is he declaring it?
I think, yeah.
Do you have to declare it before you take it?
As it's going 100 miles an hour, do you have to say, I declare, sir, and then you take it?
I don't know how this works at all.
Yeah, also to a batsman to be dismissed by being bow by being bold, run out, stumped or hit wicket.
How do you get stumped?
I have no idea.
You can get hit.
You can get hit wicketed apparently also, which sounds painful.
Sounds like it involves your ass.
Struck out and stumped basically.
That's just, uh, I didn't know that pitch was coming.
That's, you're getting stumped.
Wow.
Yeah.
This is crazy.
Yeah.
I don't get this at all.
And then there's, they're talking about the bail again. Yeah. On top
of the, I'm sorry, the bail, the
ball on top of the,
I don't understand how this works, man. This is
crazy. And then the
bails on top of the wickets. Yeah.
Wow. Well, I guess there's no more
bails because if it's too windy
for them to get up there, this is a mess, man.
I don't know. See, this is how when somebody's asked a question and they don't know the answer and they give
like a bullshit answer and then somebody else gives another bullshit answer and then they
like start agreeing on things and then they get so far away from what's actually what
the answer is.
You have no idea because they're both full of shit.
That's what we're doing right now because we're just like, what the fuck?
We have no clue.
It doesn't make any sense.
No idea. Also, too, a team can win a – this is –? We have no clue. Doesn't make any sense. No idea.
Also, too, a team can win.
This is, I want this shit explained.
Here's something real quick.
If you give me an ice rink and a goal and then some sticks and a hockey puck, I will
eventually figure out how to play hockey.
You know what I mean?
I got you.
If you give me this fucking, these rules, don't even give me the rules.
Just show me the field and then show me the fucking equipment and I will tell you, fuck
you, I'm going to go play hockey.
I would just play wrong.
I would hold the bat.
They would throw the ball and I would try to hit it as far into the air as I possibly
could.
Would you even try to throw the ball?
Because you got to figure out how to do this.
I would try to bounce it.
I know that much.
I'd try to get it, but that would shock the shit out of the guy.
If he's standing there waiting for this thing to come
and bounce, and I just hit him in the middle of the chest
with it, he'd be like, holy fuck.
I'd be like, I've declared your wicket,
sir. I'm going to be a pro.
This shit is mine. I own this wicket.
I'm going to be a pro. That's how I'm going to surprise everybody.
They're not going to see it coming at all. Apparently,
this just blew my mind here.
A team can win a match
by a certain
number of wickets.
It says this means if they were
batting last and they reached the winning
target with a certain number of
batsmen still not dismissed,
a team's innings end
when 10 batsmen
are dismissed. That's a lot.
10 batsmen. Wow. If's a lot. Okay, so that's what it is. It's 10 batsmen.
Wow.
If the side scored the required number of runs to win with only three batsmen dismissed,
they're said to have won by seven wickets.
Okay, that makes sense.
The wickets at that point are a leftover batsman.
So if you win and you have people left over, like if you're in the ninth inning,
in the bottom of the ninth inning at home, and you
score the winning run, if there's two guys left on base, they don't score because it's
over when the run's scored.
But they don't say you won four to three plus two extra guys.
They don't say that.
This thing gives them two extra wickets.
What about the guys that are due up?
That's everybody.
That's what I mean.
That's what I mean.
Like in baseball, what if you get the rest to your order?
Yeah, that's it.
You get six other wickets.
There you go.
I don't know what to do.
Some bananas.
Wow.
Also, there is a term called a sticky wicket.
Oh, God.
Do we even need to say what the fuck that sounds like?
It refers to a situation when the pitch has become damp.
That sounds as though somebody has masturbatorily declared the fucking wicked.
That sounds like, yeah.
We've made it sticky.
Best of luck.
That sounds like someone really cockney is like, my pitch is down, buddy.
I can't even get it out.
Come over and get my wicket sticky, would you?
Drunk as shit.
Like, I'm laughing.
I can't get it.
But yeah, that's what it sounds like to me.
Jesus, that's creepy.
You need to sticky up my wicket because my pitch is damp.
We have no American sports where anything is quote unquote sticky.
No, there is no sticky wicket.
You have sticky fingers in football, but that's it.
Apparently, they stopped with the playing in the rain.
I guess it was more difficult and they stopped in the 50s to do that.
Yeah, apparently that would just be...
I mean, our baseball players don't play either.
No, no.
All sorts of damp, sticky wickets happen and it's not great when you're...
Everything's sticky.
So back to Leslie.
Yeah.
He plays his first test, his first test match, and we'll get into what that is, against R.E.S.
Wyatt's MCC in their winter tour of the West Indies.
This is the English...
Community college?
No, no. This is like an English test team. in their winter tour of the West Indies. This is the English. Community college? No, this is like an English test team.
This is for the West Indies test team.
The West Indies cricket team is known as the Windies, apparently.
They're a multinational cricket team representing the Caribbean region.
So they're not from one.
It's just West Indies, basically.
They're a composite team made up of players from 15,
they say mainly in english
speaking caribbean territories uh different you know countries different uh you know colonies
however you want to put it different cultures coming together to play cricket yeah and the
west indian team's doing well as of august 7th 2017 so this week they were ranked eighth in the
world wow yeah not too bad not too See what happens when you smoke weed?
You fucking get good at shit.
No shit.
From the 70s, the mid to late 70s to the early 90s, they were considered like the strongest team in the world in test competition, apparently.
The wait is over.
So far, you're not losing.
The only thing you're losing is my patience.
Quickly, I see that.
Bing!
The queen of the courtroom is back.
I didn't do anything.
You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face.
I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that.
New cases.
She wanted to fight me.
Leave her alone.
Okay, so, um...
This is not a so, this is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
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And now, back to the show.
They have some that are in the International Cricket Hall of Fame that are from the West Indies.
And I just have a few of these names because they're funny.
A lot of sirs.
Sir Frank Worrell, Sir Clyde Walcott, Sir Everton Weeks.
Yeah.
Sir Kirtley Ambrose is my favorite one.
Unbelievable.
And Sir Viv Richards, who they made fun of.
Name your kid Viv and see how much he doesn't get his ass kicked his whole life.
And my favorite, Sir Andy Roberts, which doesn't sound like a sir.
Andy Roberts?
Yeah, he sounds like a plumber.
What the fuck is that?
Andy Roberts?
You can stick a sir in front of that all day long.
You're not getting any goddamn respect for that.
I'd rather be named Viv.
Jesus, what a horrible name.
Yeah, I like Viv better, or Kirtley.
Test cricket is the longest form of the sport of cricket
and is considered of the highest standard.
These are the international teams.
Like we said, they play four-inning matches, which can last up to five days.
Holy shit.
Five days, these fucking matches.
For four innings?
Four innings.
What the fuck?
Because you have to go through everybody.
Good God.
For five days.
Dude, okay, guys, everybody. It or five days. Dude. Okay. Guys.
Everybody.
It's too much.
I know you love cricket.
Okay.
I get it.
Five days is too much of a fucking commitment to give to any sporting event.
I'm sorry.
One inning in a day?
Not even.
No, that's what I mean.
Look at the United States.
You've got to take a break in between an inning.
It's nuts.
That's what I mean.
You're stop ever.
Halfway through the first, I guess we'll call it for the day.
What is going on, man?
Look at the look at the in america the super bowl is like the most giant thing you know millions of dollars for 30 seconds of bad time and all this type of shit it's one fucking day
it's like four hours there's a shitload of pre-game and we get food and all that but it
doesn't last for five days what's the other thing we've got baseball here that's very similar to
cricket and and it's over in three hours nine
innings three hours done and they just passed rules to make that shit faster and if it's like
an extra inning game that goes like 18 innings it's gonna say it's like a novelty it's like hey
this game's like five hours long this is crazy look how tired they are five fucking days for
four innings you can't gather with your friends to watch that hey everyone come over saturday to
watch the game and sund Sunday and Monday and Tuesday.
And it might be Wednesday too.
Just everybody come over.
I don't know how long.
You have to bring it.
What do you do?
How much beer should I bring?
All of it.
Fucking all of it.
How do you plan to go watch the match?
That's crazy.
I need off work tomorrow.
I have the cricket match.
I might need off Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday also.
I'm not sure.
I'll let you know how many sticky wickets are there.
It's four innings, you guys.
It's crazy.
I'll let you know how many sticky wickets happen. I don't four innings, you guys. It's crazy. I'll let you know how many sticky wickets happen. I don't know what's
going on here. Whoa.
It's four whole innings. This shit
could go all month.
Five days. It's insane, man.
I would cry. And the name
test even stems from long
grueling match being a test of the
strength of both sides. It's a test
to see if I can stick through watching this whole
fucking thing. It's an endurance test is what it is.
It really is.
Of the audience.
Of everybody's patience.
Of the audience of whether the players really want to do this with their lives.
After four days.
After four days, you've got to be reconsidering.
You're going to be like, my father owns a butcher shop.
That's probably not too bad.
I can go do that.
Fuck this game.
This is fucking ridiculous.
I am bored.
Jesus, they got books
and shit they're reading.
Are we almost done?
Christ almighty.
When did they cut off
beer sales in that fucking thing?
Day four.
Day four they cut it off.
Day four about 6 p.m.
I think they cut it off.
Poor guy running through
the stands screaming about
hot made cookies.
Fuck it, you guys.
They're free now
because I quit.
Who cares anymore?
They'll be in the parking lot.
Well, God, you'd have to sell full meals going through there.
Dinner, lunch.
Meatloaf.
Get your meatloaf.
Get your pillows here.
They're still playing, guys.
I'm sorry.
I apologize.
They're very polite.
They apologize.
Look at you guys walking through the audience with Tums and prescription pills.
You need them.
Christ, you've been eating ballpark food for five days.
Five days.
So the first officially-
Get your cholesterol pills.
Come on, guys.
Get your-
What the hell is it called?
I don't know the cholesterol pill, and I can't remember it now.
Damn it.
Get your Pepsin AC.
You got to have some-
That's not it.
You got to have some goddamn-
What is it?
Some backup.
Something with a troll on it, maybe.
Lipitrol.
Lipitrol.
That sounds good.
Lipitrol.
I don't know.
That might be for soft dick.
I'm not sure.
Lipitor.
Lipitor.
Lipitor.
There's definitely somebody selling shit for indigestion.
There's got to be.
Oh, God, yeah, definitely.
They're eating ballpark food all day for five fucking days.
Five days.
Christ.
The first officially recognized one of
these insane matches took place in 1877 the test matches they played cricket for hundreds of years
before that at least a couple hundred years but 1877 in march uh from the 15th of march to all
the way to the 19th of march was the first game and then they said this is a good idea let's do
this again they should have just said well that work. Shit, that took four fucking days.
What are we doing here?
We're never going to get people to watch this shit.
It was played between England
and Australia
at the Melbourne Cricket Ground
where Australia won by 45 runs.
Jesus Christ.
It took four days
to manage 45 runs of a win.
They could have called that in day one.
Hey, they're kicking the shit out of us.
Listen, you guys,
there's an 11-run rule. I was going to gonna say this is what happened a little later the 10 run rule
here this is terrible crazy also too they had an anniversary match in march of 19 of 1977 a
100 year anniversary match where australia beat england by 45 runs again so the same margin so i
don't know if they did that on purpose uh yeah it's the highest level of cricket the test mass matches here uh there was 12 national teams as of and with test status as of 2017
uh most recently being promoted as afghanistan and ireland congratulations afghanistan and ireland
that's probably the only time you'll mention those two in the same sentence together because they have
nothing in fucking common uh and also to zimb Zimbabwe, between 2006 and 2011, had their test status suspended because
of poor performance.
Oh.
But then they got back in in August 2011.
They were getting their asses kicked by more than 45 runs?
That's what I mean.
How poor of it does it have to be?
It took five days to lose by 45 runs?
That should be enough.
You're out.
What a fucking waste of time.
You're fucking out.
Jesus. So Hylton debuts with four tests, four test matches against England in the 34-35 season,
taking 13 wickets at an average of 19.30, which I have no...
Dude, I tried so hard.
Holy shit.
I tried to figure out the wickets.
I tried to figure out the overs.
I tried to figure out some of these stats.
Because when you look at baseball, you see see BA batting average runs, hits.
You see that and as Americans, we know
exactly what that is. Here I see these stats and
I'm like, what the fuck? It looks like
when you see genetic coding and you're
like, I don't know what that means. That's what it looks
like basically or digital coding even.
It's the same type of thing.
He had an average of 19. Genetic
and digital coding are entirely different things
but they're just as confusing.
That's what I'm saying.
Either one is confusing.
Yeah, they're not the same thing.
But it's still like either one of them are too much for me.
I don't know shit about either one of them.
So he gets the averages I could not get at all.
I had an average of 19.30.
For my life, I couldn't tell you what that means.
If you had a gun to my head, I'd just give up.
I wouldn't even try.
Your daughter dies if you don't know.
Fuck it.
Good night, baby.
It's been lovely.
I hope she's had a good life.
I hope I've done well so far to give her a decent life.
I hope you enjoyed it.
Because it's fuck now because I don't know shit.
So 1935, they come to England.
They have a good lineup, it says.
They have a Wyatt, Maurice Leland, and a Wally Hammond, it says, making a pretty useful top three.
I don't know who they are.
And those are England's or Jamaica's?
Those are England's people.
Hylton, it says, enjoyed an explosive start.
Getting pace and bounce from it, which means speed and bounce.
Pace is what they call speed.
I got that down.
And bounce from a soft, sticky wicket.
So this is why I had to preface all this,
but sticky wickets means that the ground is wet and mushy.
Still drying after a heavy pre-match rain.
So this is good for Hilton, and he's kicking ass on this here.
He played on the team with, they call him the great George Headley,
who I don't know who he is.
They said he batted courageously.
The Jamaican players were apparently not intimidated by the English.
They credit Leslie a lot with helping the West Indies get their first ever
series win versus England.
So they credit him a lot with the 13 wickets and the economy of 2.6 and an average of 19.3.
He improved the economy?
That's amazing.
He got the economy up.
Leslie's going to run for office on the no more sticky wicket, get your economy up platform.
My economy is up to 2.6.
How do you like that?
I feel like that's probably maybe how many pitches he threw to each batter.
Maybe that's economy, like 2.6 pitches.
Does that make sense if he throws like three to each batter?
I feel like the batters get like 10 whacks to the ball.
I feel like they just hang out there forever.
And I can't tell the difference because they're all white guys with the same fucking helmet on when it's England.
So when it's Indian guys, it's the same Indian guy with a helmet on because you can't see their face.
So it's just an Indian guy.
Just a brown guy or a pasty white guy.
Either one of them.
That's all it is here when I watch these.
The West Indies did not play
another test series against England
until their 1939 tour of England.
And we're going to talk about this.
The 1939, this was the last series
the West Indies played
before the
outbreak of World War two okay because this this is obviously cooking up in the
30s we're gonna definitely get into that in a second I know that we're gonna talk
about World War two but how it affects this this yeah he's going over to
England and over to that fucking over to Europe and yeah it all kicks that's
where it's all kicking off exactly and especially in 1939 yeah that's where it all kicks off. That's where it's all kicking off, exactly, and especially in 1939. Yeah, that's a problem.
Yeah, that's the spearhead of the whole deal here.
This hiatus after this because of the war lasted until 1948.
Really?
So 1948 when the English team finally toured the West Indies again.
So there was no test matches for that long.
Nine-year break.
Yeah, that's just everything stopped for them.
When they go in 1939, the West Indies team going to England, their team was so strapped for cash, the West Indies team.
They had a 15-man squad.
They couldn't afford to add Leslie to the 15-man squad.
What?
They couldn't afford to send him in.
Wow.
Like boat fare, plane fare, and boarding and all that.
They didn't have the money to send him.
Wow.
That's how poor they were.
People in Jamaica went batshit.
He's like, they love this guy.
He's a hero to them.
He's their cheater.
Yeah, kind of.
Well, or their pitcher.
I don't know, whatever you want to put the equivalent to that.
But they love him.
So what they do is they have a huge public appeal to fund his tour costs.
That's what they do.
They're the first crowdsourcing.
They start passing a hat around. It's Jamaican
GoFundMe in 1939. You just
pass a hat around and go, you want Leslie to go
play the English? Because he's a good bowler.
So they're like, look, we need him.
We want to beat the English. What are we not sending
a fucking good player over? What are we doing here?
So they end up getting him. They get
the money. They actually do it. They sponsor
him. They pack him up, ship his ass off to England.
So the crowd makes this possible for him.
Now, in 1935, as we said, he was great.
They credit him with being one of the main reasons they beat England back then.
This time, not so great.
Not so great at all.
Really kind of piss poor performances here. He just does
not do well at all here.
It's so bad
that he's dropped after two of the tests.
What a waste of money.
They're like, well, fuck it. The people pay it anyway.
Ship his ass back. Hey, you want
to get a fund to ship his ass back?
You want to get a return flight?
That's the thing, man.
He goes back to Jamaica and just retires from cricket.
The local cricket, the cricket international, everything cricket all together.
Career figures of, let's go over this here, 40 first class matches.
He had 120 wickets.
Fuck yeah.
That's three wickets per match.
Was that good?
Maybe.
I don't know.
Sounds great.
A very respectable average, it says, of 25.62. Sounds good. I don't know what? Maybe. I don't know. Sounds great. A very respectable average, it says, of 25.62.
Sounds good.
I don't know what that is.
I don't know.
Does that mean like, is that like 250?
Is that batting 250?
It's got to be.
Is that batting 250?
Did we crack the code?
He's got career 250.
That sounds like 25%.
25, yeah, 25.62%.
Yeah.
That sounds right.
He's batting 256.
Jimmy, did we figure this out?
We're going to get tweets like, you fucking idiots.
This motherfucker's batting 256. You 256 did we figure this out we're gonna get tweets like you motherfuckers
baton 256 you idiots did not figure shit out we're gonna get that is not at all what that means
but that sounds right an average of 25 rather than doing it out of a thousand they're doing it from
100 which they should do it out of a thousand because it makes more sense but still i think
i understand easier yeah i think i get it and an economy of 2.7. So if I'm reading this right.
It's a damn good economy.
Which I might not be reading this right.
He has three wickets per match, which doesn't seem like a lot, honestly.
Randy Johnson used to strike out like 14 a game.
So he has three wickets per match, and he has a 250 average.
He's hitting 250 with three strikeouts per match,
and he only throws about three pitches, less than three pitches per batter.
That's not good.
That's what I'm getting at, and it says this is all very respectable.
I don't know.
Less than three pitches a batter.
That's pretty solid, I think.
2.7.
That's his economy.
We don't know if that's what that means, mind you.
It might be the complete opposite.
He might throw 25.62 per pitch.
We have no fucking idea which is which.
He might be throwing 25 pitches per batter.
Absolutely.
The games there, the 24th through the 27th of 1939, the England wins one by eight wickets.
And then there's another one on July 22nd through 25th, which is a draw.
And that's a three-day draw. And then there's another, August 19th through August 22nd, 1939, at the Oval.
I believe that is in the West Indies.
That is also – I'm sorry, that is in England.
That is also a draw.
Okay.
I'm telling you, if there's a draw, they should release Lions.
Like, fucking –
Yeah, run.
I'll watch that.
Yeah, or something like that.
You have a bat.
Yeah. Whoever has the most players left when those Lions are full wins. like fucking yeah run i'll watch that yeah or something like that you have a bat yeah whoever
has the most players left when those lions are full wins yeah well that's not a bad idea this
is like the third sport you've suggested releasing lions into as a way to improve it that is your
solution that's true that is literally your solution to every sport where you're like i
don't get it you're like what if they just put lions on the field? Fuck it. I think rugby.
Yeah.
You asked for lions.
I think hockey, but we decided the ice would have been bad, and they would probably, the
players would have an advantage on the ice.
This one is definitely the most needing of it.
I would say so.
So anyway, his stats here, they have his career stats, and I don't know what the fuck any
of them mean.
I don't know what the fuck any of them mean i don't know anything here uh
his career stats here uh six tests 41st class he has 843 first class run scored all right 70 test
uh his batting average his batting average and tests is 11.66 which which that doesn't seem good. That's too much. That seems low.
That's too much.
A buck 16. Oh, never mind.
Yeah, that's not good at all.
That's terrible.
And then his batting average in first class is 18.73, so he's still only hitting the 187,
which is going to get you sent down to double A.
That's not good at all.
I guess.
Well, he's a bowler, so I guess his batting isn't that implicit like that.
If you're a good pitcher, then you don't bat very well like in America.
Top score in Tess is 19 and first class is 80.
Balls bold in tests, 965.
Balls bold.
That's a lot of balls bold.
It doesn't give a number for first class because they probably don't have the exacts on that.
They don't keep track of pitches.
Wickets.
16 wickets in the tests.
120 first class wickets. Oh,, 120 first-class wickets.
Oh, yeah.
Is there a second-class one?
120 wickets in the first-class play in that league.
I don't know if that's good.
40 matches, 120 wickets.
That's great.
That seems fine, I guess.
That's good.
Three wickets per match, that's not bad.
In the interest of keeping this shit moving, I'm good.
I don't know.
I have no fucking idea here.
And his bowling average is 26, about 26 is his bowling average.
Okay.
Sounds good to me.
I have no goddamn idea.
Doesn't matter because nobody gives a shit about cricket after this, after nobody cares
that he retired.
Nobody gives a fuck about the draws and three-day-long games because on September 1st, 1939, Germany invades Poland.
All right.
And shit is on.
You just cheered the Nazi invasion of Poland.
But there is no more cricket for the rest of the episode.
I couldn't be happier about a Nazi invasion right now.
Fuck.
You're trying to figure cricket out?
Yeah.
Tell me about it.
Good God.
What the fuck do you think I feel?
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
I said you're trying to figure this shit out for three goddamn days watching fucking cricket videos going who is this guy now is this the same guy i don't
know nazi tanks roll across the field eventually and you're just like all right good prayed for it
fucking prayed for it uh so that's what's going on in europe now so cricket is over for a while
no one cares about cricket because they're worried about being blown up yeah uh leslie just goes into
normal life he takes a job as a foreman with the
Jamaican Rehabilitation Service
and just recedes
from the public eye. I don't blame him.
Takes a hike. Back then, you didn't make a ton of money
for planes, so you got a normal job.
There's no shelling. That's it.
He tries to lead a normal life. That's what he's doing
here. He's going to try to find a normal
life to lead.
1940, he meets a woman. He meets Lur try to find a normal life to lead. And he, uh, 1940, he, uh, he gets,
he meets a woman. He meets Lurleen, which sounds like a Southern woman, which is very funny that
she'd be a Jamaican. She's a, she's very tall, very pretty. Uh, she is the daughter of a guy
named Philip Ezekiel Rose. That sounds Jamaican. Yeah, it sounds Jamaican Ezekiel. He's the
sub-inspector of police for Jamaica basically and his wife
is Constantia
Constantia
that's her name. I want to say that
so different. Constantia
I want to say it so different
I want to say Constantina but that's not her
fucking name. Phillip actually
the father, Phillip Rose was the first
black inspector of police
in Jamaica which is a big deal.
Yeah.
That sounds fucking weird.
Well, you would think.
How are you having so many white people in fucking Jamaica?
Because they are owned by the West Indies.
Yeah, but how are you having so many white people in power in a place that I literally.
I don't know.
Ask South Africa up until the 1990s.
Ask Mississippi up until fucking. Get don't know. Ask South Africa up until the 1990s. Ask Mississippi up until fucking.
Get yourself a point.
So, I mean, yeah, it happens.
Weapons, money, military might.
These things fucking happen, man.
It's bad.
But you would think in an island like that.
They would.
It would be all black people.
At least running the police, you would think.
But no.
Instead, he's the first black inspector of police in Jamaica.
And he's later awarded the Colonial Police Medal for Meritorious Service.
Fascinating.
So, yeah, his father's a noble, honorable guy.
He's a big deal down there, too.
He's known as a big, upstanding, badass, tough guy.
He's kind of like Kelly Lane's father.
All right.
In that episode there, an Australian episode with water polo, which we also didn't understand.
But we do understand that it's not a fucking sport.
Yeah, that's what we do know.
That is for sure.
You can play all nine months pregnant just as well.
So this whole thing here, these parents, you can't get any more upstanding than the first black inspector of police.
So they're very aware of class, these people.
They're very aware of how far they've come.
Yeah.
They're very aware of keeping their status.
And this ex-bum cricket player is not who they had in mind for their daughter to marry.
All right.
They want her to marry an educated guy, a professor, somebody like that, an attorney,
somebody with an upstanding and, most of all, upper class.
Yeah.
They keep trying to move up the class.
Sergeant Murtaugh's pissed.
Sergeant Murtaugh is so fucking pissed, man.
He's too old for this shit.
That's it, man.
He did not.
He was not okay.
Rose, the father, was not okay with Hylton at all.
They were like churchy people upper middle
class uh you know they had servants yeah like they they made a joke there was a famous thing
there where the father said like our servants have better breeding than you how about that
like they have better ancestry than you do that's a solid burn you're not even qualified to be our
servant right no less date our daughter.
You can't wash the royal penis.
Fuck out of here. Yeah, exactly.
So you are not touching our daughter's royal
vagina either. No royal
penis, no royal pussy either for
you. Sorry. So
yeah, they
completely disapprove of this whole thing.
They tried to find
every way to break them apart.
This is like an 80s movie.
Yeah.
This is like some Jamaican Romeo and Juliet shit.
This is like Jamaican Footloose.
They're like, don't you talk to Kevin Bacon.
John Lithgow's yelling at his daughter.
Jesus Christ.
I saw him dancing.
So they do not want him anywhere near them, and they go through great extents, including
Philip here, the father, Philip Rose, going through every shred.
And this wasn't like back in the day where you can just pop in a name on a computer.
Going through every shred of police record paperwork looking for any evidence
on the entire island or in England of any criminal offense that this guy committed
so they could say, see, he's a piece of shit.
Yes, you can't marry him.
So instead, they found nothing on this poor guy.
He's just some guy.
He's clean as a whistle.
He played cricket.
He's not playing cricket.
He's working for the rehabilitation center.
Sure.
That's it.
So they end up reluctantly giving consent for them to get married.
They have no other fucking choice, basically.
They can't.
She's a grown woman.
She's going to marry him.
She's got choices to make.
Might as well make it look like they were into it, and that way it looks better for society.
Right.
So October of 1942, he marries Lurleen.
All right.
So now he's married.
So this is fine.
I'm okay with this.
This isn't like his life was spinning out of control.
He's just easing into a different life.
It's fine.
He's good now.
Everything's good.
This marriage was uneventful. They got along
fine. There was no big...
Nobody beat anybody. There was no
domestic violence called. He didn't
throw her off the balcony like Carlos
Monzon. And lived happily ever after.
Bye, guys. Bye, guys. Hey, have a good night. Thanks for
tuning in to Crime and Swartz. We'll see you next week,
guys. Imagine if that was the episode
you was in. What the fuck?
We talked about cricket for 45 minutes.
What'd you do that to us for? I don't know a fucking thing, and this guy
didn't even do anything. What a couple
assholes. Can you imagine that?
We should do that on, like, April Fool's Day.
We should do that.
It wouldn't even be a prank. I would get
so many death threats. Keep the episode
at, like, an hour fifty. We'll just
fill the rest in with silence. You know
what I mean? So that way, when they see it, the time will look real. I would never do with silence you know what i mean like so that way when
they see it it'll the time will look real i would never do that to you guys but shit would that be
funny after blue and then after our hate tweet storm we released the real episode like april
fools guys calm the fuck down just kidding just kidding we should have a bonus episode on april
fools watch out motherfuckers if it's April 1st, you better watch out.
We're turning into real radio guys now.
Oh, God, Jesus.
Never mind.
We got April Fool's Day's pranks coming up.
Coming up this April Fool's.
So, shit, man.
Holy shit.
1947, they have a son together.
Leslie and Lurleen have a son named Gary.
Luckily, they didn't give him a tell name.
That's good.
Leslie, Lurleen, and Larry, or some shit like that.
They named him Gary instead.
1948.
She talked him out of it.
Yeah, she's like, look, dude.
That's what happens.
No, we're not naming him Larry.
No.
We're not naming him Junior.
No.
We're not.
Don't you know what happens to athletes?
Can we just name him Gary, please?
Oh, thank God he didn't name him Junior.
He would have been the first athlete to do that in our timeline, chronologically.
The very first.
First.
So little Gary is born.
1948, next year, Lurleen's father dies.
Philip Rose dies.
Don't know why.
Don't know what happened.
It's the 40s.
Could have been anything.
Who the hell knows?
Fucking shame.
Died of shame of Leslie's lower class status.
He hated it.
Nose in the air. He died. He. He hated it. Nose in the air.
He died.
He died of his nose being too far in the air.
He suffocated.
He suffocated.
He just couldn't take it anymore.
A deviated septum.
He didn't give a shit.
So he'd rather die than accept this guy.
So 1949, Lurleen's brother Manley, Dexter Manley, just Manley.
Lurleen's brother Manley gives the couple a Smith & Wesson revolver that belonged to her father.
It's like an heirloom.
It belonged to her father.
He was a police officer.
It's a gun.
This, they think, is maybe a gesture of acceptance from the family.
Maybe saying, like, hey, this is dad's and we're going to try to all be.
It's a fucking hint.
You know what I mean?
Or maybe shoot yourself.
We'll see.
I'm going to be coming with one later.
So you better have yours.
We'll never know.
But they were crazy with this fucking gun.
They acted like this is nuts.
These two were I don't know what was wrong with these two.
But this this is not normal behavior.
And I don't give a shit what country and what year unless it's, you know, like the Old West in 1868.
This is not normal behavior here, okay?
It was their habit to keep the gun in a bureau drawer, which is normal.
That's fine for back then and whatever.
Tuck it under the socks.
That's all good.
And bring it out at night as protection against intruders.
Okay.
This sounds normal, right?
They take it out.
You put it on the dresser just in case, or put it under your pillow,
whatever.
But what's not normal is a strange ritual they had, nightly they did this, where both
of them, Lurleen and Leslie, would go out into the outside and just fire off rounds
into the night sky as a warning to, quote, nefarious types with an earshot.
So at this point, just if there's anyone around my property who's considering breaking in, just boom, boom, boom, boom.
Watch out, motherfucker.
We're going to bed, everybody.
What kind of behavior?
This shit's by my bed.
This is like Yosemite Sam level stupidity.
This is nuts.
This is crazy.
Good night, you wascally wabbit.
Good night.
You caught my beginning of my workout.
This gun also, they didn't take care of it.
It was in like shit condition.
It's all dirty.
They didn't clean it.
No, it's all filled with residue because they just fired off into the night sky.
I have a feeling they're drinking and going out and firing the shit off like crazy.
Once again, tombstone reference.
Like they're shooting at the moon.
Like it's the same thing.
I feel great.
Shooting at the moon.
So yeah, this gun had a stiff trigger and the cylinder didn't always align
properly with the firing pin
because they just didn't take care of it and it was
known to jam a lot. Jesus.
The revolver jam. You would think
just they take good care of it because they like going
out and shooting it into the sky. So I guess
not. By 1951
they move in, the couple and
Gary, the son, move in with
Constantini, Constantina, they move in
with her.
She's been a widow three years now.
And I don't know if this is to help with the kid or whatever the deal is, but I have a
feeling I know why, because of what she did in April, it makes sense that he would move
in with her to help take care of the son because men didn't take care of kids generally back
then, especially in different cultures.
So in April of 1951, Lurleen makes a big decision and a big move, okay?
She's a dressmaker by trade.
She's trying to be more of a dressmaker.
She's trying to be better.
This is starting to ring.
The Riveter just came out.
This is starting to ring of Bertil Fox here with the dresses and all this shit
and on an island with dresses.
I'm starting to get a Bertil Fox vibe, are you?
Is there a machete coming out at any point?
I wish at one point.
It would have been better off with that.
But anyway, so she's a dressmaker.
So starting in April 1951, she would go to America, to New York,
to train in the art of French couture, I guess, to make dresses in that fashion and help advance
her career as a fashion designer.
So in April 51, she goes to New York for a year.
A year.
Uh-oh.
So yeah.
So he's sitting at home with his mother-in-law and his kid and his wife's out making dresses.
Like this is-
This is a recipe for disaster.
Wow.
Life has not gone well at
this point in the 50s in the 50s there's not even tv no this guy has nothing to whack it to yeah
there is just this is a tough eventually you're eventually you're fucking your your spank bank
empties and he's sitting there with his mother-in-law who thinks she's beneath he's beneath
her yeah all the time too it's like she hates him yeah she's making comments and shit like
banging on the door you You whacking again.
What are you doing in there with your sticky wicket?
What's happening?
Son of a bitch.
Get out of my towel.
Sticky.
Get out here.
Picture.
She's got a house coat.
She's very grumpy.
I mean, so widow.
She's pissed.
Yeah.
She comes back spring of 52.
Like I said, she was there for a year.
April of 53.
She heads back for another year. Oh, no. So she's home for
a year, and then she's going back for a year.
So this is wild, man.
Leslie agrees to these lengthy
visits.
Yeah, because he's got no money coming in.
Well, not only that, this was also
their plan was this was a way
to pave the way for the family to
emigrate to the United States. Oh, I got you.
She keeps going, and she can make a connection, and she can land something. She can way for the family to emigrate to the United States. Oh, I got you. So she keeps going and she can make a connection and she can land something.
She can then bring the family.
They're trying to get the family there.
Land of opportunity.
So he's like, all right, this is good for everybody, right?
Yeah.
Her brother Jasper stood surety for her return.
I think it was a visa condition.
Like he had to put up a bond to make sure she came back.
Saying she would come back.
So she wouldn't like just stay there, run away.
That's one way to do a visitor visa.
If somebody put up a surety bond, that's not, I haven't heard of that recently.
That's brilliant.
Interesting immigration policy.
That's something to look into maybe.
Insurance.
Fucking if you stick around, at least we steal your money.
That's it, man.
So he's not happy though, obviously.
He wants to come to America and he wants all all of this but he also wants to you know not be alone with his mother-in-law for a year at a time while his mike while his
wife gallivants around fucking new york learning how to make french dresses anybody would not be
happy with that fascinating she went to america to learn to make french dresses and not fucking
france true that's a good point well yeah i guess it was closer and they wanted to come to america
and new york had a lot of fashion so So that made sense. The French designers came over to here, you know, to New York and all that.
But they went to fucking Tombstone.
They said that in the beginning.
They had them in there.
They needed it.
The highest French fashion sold on the back of wagons.
That's right.
You get more expensive.
Give you money for it out there.
He called his mother in law, quote, prickly and said she, quote, barely tolerated him,
which is terrific to me.
That's a great way to put it.
So fall of 1953 comes around at this point.
This is six months into her second stint in New York.
Leslie's starting to get a little pissy about this whole thing now.
It's been enough.
And he's like, okay, this is starting to get a little much.
And he has good reason to be pissy also.
Not only is he stuck with the kid, Not only is he stuck with the kid,
not only is he not stuck with the kid, but
by himself with the kid and stuck with his fucking
mother-in-law, which is, I can't imagine
for that, for this guy. That sounds terrible.
Especially someone who hates him. It's not like they get along.
Yeah, I like my mother-in-law and I don't want to spend a fucking
year with her. She hates his guts and for the last
15 years has been saying how he's beneath them
and their servants are more, you know,
well-bred than he is. So I would not want to be there either.
But he also has good reason because there is a huge rumor going around in the States and starting to get to the island that she has been having a huge affair with a notorious Brooklyn womanizer named Roy Francis.
So that's going on.
He does not know about this, Leslie, at all.
But this is the rumors in New York.
This is the rumors everywhere.
It's starting to spill over.
And he doesn't know it yet.
He's just impatient anyway.
But it gets worse, you know, at that point.
So April 14th, 1954, Lurleen writes a letter to Leslie.
A dear John?
Not a dear John.
Almost a dear John.
It's kind of like a, hey, Bob. It's not a dear John. It's kind of like a, hey
Bob. It's not a dear John, it's a
hey Bob. I'll put it that way.
That's a lighter version of the dear John.
Hey Bob, come here a minute.
Come here Bob. Come here Bob.
She says
she's intending to stay in New York
by two more years. Oh boy.
So she says, yeah, she said I'm going to stay
because this is when she's supposed to come home in April of 54.
She left in April of 53.
And she said, rather than me getting on the boat now or on the plane or whatever, I am going to stay here for two more years.
Oh, boy.
So that's what I mean.
It's a hey, Bob.
She's not saying I'm leaving forever, but she's like, I'm going to be gone a while.
Heads up.
Heads up.
Yeah.
So three days later, on April 17th, 1954, Leslie receives an anonymous letter.
Okay.
It is a 642-word letter.
Oh, boy.
Which is a pretty good letter.
Yeah.
Typewritten.
Oh, boy.
Which you had to go through effort back then.
Someone took some time.
Yeah.
Someone took some time.
And it is a description of all of Lurleen's alleged adultery with Roy Francis.
What?
It's called a lurid description of everything they do.
Everything. It's wild. The letter
is from a guy from Brooklyn.
Is that what you said? From a guy as Roy Francis
in Brooklyn. Did Roy write it? I don't know if
Roy wrote it. I want it to be from Roy because a guy
in Brooklyn is sending
a letter about banging
some other dude's wife. It is dirty
as fuck. Yo, when I eat her
pussy. Let me tell you something about that.
No, this is, this is.
It's not written in first person.
All right.
This is a third person.
This is not third person.
This is like.
This is, yeah.
The New York Times hitting them with a scoop.
Exactly.
The letter is signed, your old friend.
Oh, boy.
Which, you know, whatever.
And it talks about that it's completely brazen, their affair.
It's just open.
Lurleen and Francis here, they went to a function given in honor of Mr. Manley, who's Norman Manley.
He's a political campaigner, and he's the future prime minister of Jamaica.
He's having a rally in New York.
And they're going out in public to political—
Openly.
Openly to political fundraisers.
And they're like a society couple
yeah and this guy's sitting in jamaica with his mother-in-law and his dick in his hand going
my wicket's sticky and she's there what the fuck am i doing she's over there and i'm getting letters
about how he's banging her doggie over some fucking fountain of a punch this is back shit
shit has gone off the rails here this is not okay yeah so the mother-in-law here, she claims that Leslie reacted
badly to the letter. No shit.
Who would not react?
What's the right way to react to that?
That can't be true. That's over. That's all right.
Well, I'll just sit here on this island and talk to my mother-in-law.
Yeah, that's fine. No worries.
I live with her mother. I'm about to get evicted
from my house. And it's not like he can text her.
No. He'll be like, listen, what the fuck's going on?
He has to write her a letter and then wait for it is crazy he's getting to take a picture of that letter
nowadays and send that would like set off such a firestorm of text message fighting back and forth
and back and forth but this she said he caused a huge uproar he was weeping he was wailing you know
making noise freaking out, in a rage.
He threatened.
He's going off, running around the house, just talking shit as anybody would.
He's going around stomping, talking shit.
She said he was in a storming rage, is how the mother-in-law put it.
He threatened to go to America himself and shoot Lurleen if she didn't come back to Jamaica.
So I'm going to go there and shoot her. With another gun because this one doesn't work.
Yeah, well, it might work after a while.
He said that he's self-righteous in this and he's the right one. to go there and shoot her. With another gun because this one doesn't work. Yeah, well, it might work after a while.
He said that he's self-righteous in this and he's the right one and no jury would convict him if he did kill her because of that letter.
And he's saying that, look.
No jury in the world will convict me.
No jury is going to convict me because she's obviously fucking around.
Anyone who got that letter would kill their wife first.
They would just kill her.
So that day, he's still pissed.
He sends two cables out.
One was to Lurleen.
Yeah, that's a telegraphy.
One is to Lurleen, and it says, quote, come home immediately.
Do not ask questions.
That's all she gets.
And then the second one was to Jasper, her brother, who put up the surety bond, saying,
quote, withdraw bond R.E. Lurleen immediately.
We'll explain later.
Oh, boy.
So he's saying, you withdraw that bond.
Pull your money.
She told her to come home just in case she doesn't want to.
You fucking make her come home because there's some shit popping off here.
Yeah.
This is all happening, like I said, in mid-April.
Now, the last week of April, 1954, there start to be some break-ins around their neighborhood.
Their next-door neighbor had been burglarized, and also Leslie had been pickpocketed and had his wallet taken right around then.
So there's starting to be a lot of crime around here.
He says – Leslie says because of these people breaking in next door and because he got robbed, he needed to go get more. He didn't have enough ammunition for his revolver on hand here.
So she's coming back to Jamaica, but the day before she gets back,
he buys 15.32 caliber rounds from a local sports shop to protect his family, obviously.
Only with 15.
You have to.
You have to protect your family, Jimmy.
15 on hand at all times.
Have to do it.
I always have it.
So May 2, 1954, she returns lurleen under her
own free will we don't know we don't know if she just came back or if the brother actually pulled
the shorty bond she had to come back or whatever the whatever the thing is here the cable came
through and she was just like i wonder what's up i should go home and find out i'm sure it's nothing
i'm sure it's fine it's gotta be nothing it's good my mom's probably being a pain in the ass
i'll go talk to her so by the way, too, this is 54.
You could fly back and forth.
She doesn't need to go for two years at a time.
She's got a son.
He's not coming home to see her son once in a while.
Two years?
He's not coming home.
A young son.
He's going to be a different kid by the time you come back.
They had him in 47, so the kid's seven years old right now.
He's just leaving him down there.
But okay.
She gets back.
She arrives at Kingston's, at the airport there, which is now Norman Manley
International Airport, which is the people
she went to the fundraiser for
down there. She gets back
May 2nd, 1954.
According to the mother-in-law here, she
denied all the accusations of infidelity.
She said, I don't
know what you're talking about. I do know Roy
Francis, but he's just a friend of mine.
He's an acquaintance from the social scene.
You know, I'm in dressmaking.
We go to these functions.
He bangs me from time to time.
No, never.
Never.
What he doesn't do is bang me a lot.
That's what's not happening up there.
I definitely didn't get a Brazilian for his pleasure.
No, we're just friends.
Just friends.
It's fine.
What she does here is she tries to chill him out.
Yeah.
And the way it's put in articles in 1954 is, quote, placated her husband with conjugal cordiality.
Oh, boy.
She fucked him.
Or as one put it, quote, the matter was settled in true matrimonial form.
So basically she said, I want to fuck you.
How can I be having an affair?
And he goes, all right, fine.
And he fucks her
and then everything's fine, apparently.
That's a way to settle a dispute.
She's trying to do everything,
to act like everything's...
She flew thousands of miles
just to bang her husband
to shut him up.
She's trying to act like
just everything's fine,
normal business,
like marriage is great.
Like what's going on?
She's like that sketch in SNL where Will Ferrell's screaming, I drive a Dodge Stratus.
Like, they're just trying to pretend everything's fine while no one talks to each other.
That's what I feel like is going on here.
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But by May 5th,
three days later, he's still super
pissed. He's still,
you know, he keeps
starting it. He keeps starting shit, basically.
And he's still suspicious,
obviously. He got this long letter. Anybody would be
suspicious. But he keeps bringing it up, and he's
trying to be cool, but
he's like, I don't think so. So he ends up
as he's sitting out on the porch, the veranda as they called it,
he sees a garden boy, one of the people that worked there, sneak a letter from Lurleen,
take a letter from Lurleen, an envelope, and take it to a nearby post office box and put it in.
So he's like, oh, what the fuck's that about?
So Leslie gets up. He goes to the post office to try put it in. Oh, boy. So he's like, oh, what the fuck's that about? Yeah. So Leslie gets up.
He goes to the post office to try to get this letter out.
He's not messing around.
He's told by the post office that it's now the property of the crown,
and therefore he cannot read it because it's theirs now.
And so he goes back home, and he's fucking pissed.
And he's brooding, and he's trying to figure out what to do about this shit.
And he's trying to figure out what that Italian horn imprint on her back is.
What is that?
Francis doesn't sound Italian, but he is from Brooklyn.
Who knows?
So we come to May 6th.
This was May 5th.
May 6th.
This is that night.
Early morning hours here.
We're midnight, one o'clock in the morning.
He's super pissed now.
He's super pissed.
He's probably, think about it too.
You sit down.
He's been drinking. You have him. You sit down. He's been drinking. You have him.
You sit down, you put a couple back and then you
think about that letter and you think about this
and you go off into a fucking spinning rage.
And he's in a rage and he is claiming
this is funny. He bluffs her out
here too. He claims that he
saw the address on the envelope and
knows it was to Frances.
So, you know, he keeps, he's
trying. He's giving it a shot.
Like, you know, maybe she'll, maybe she'll cave.
Maybe she'll cave.
What she does is she absolutely caves.
She buys it.
She could have got away with that, but she buys it.
She admits her love for Frances.
She says, tells him that the last few days with Leslie have been torture.
Yeah.
Which this is all leading to a bad place.
She was said to, she screamed hysterically at him, and this is what she screamed.
And I'm going to say this just up front, ladies and gentlemen, if you have someone who's unstable
in the room in front of you, and you know they're armed, and you know that they're just,
they've probably been drinking, and it's one o'clock in the morning, don't say this to
them, okay? She says, quote, and I don't care if you feel it or if you have the right
to feel it absolutely say it at a better time in the light of day with more people around we'll say
uh he she says quote i should have followed my parents advice and not married you you are out
of my class you are a hindrance to me roy is a better man than you i love him just the sight of
you makes me sick.
I can't bear to touch you.
I can't bear you to touch me.
You brute.
I have found the man I love.
You cannot stand in my way.
Yes, I have slept with him.
I never felt that way with you.
My body belongs to him.
I am Roy's, Roy's, Roy's.
Oh, my God.
Basically, I mean, that's as bad as you.
That's terrible.
True or not, whatever, but that's as much as you can provoke a person.
Not that he should do anything.
He should, at this point, pack his shit up and go to the Kingston Hotel and fucking stay there for a while.
And get some spousal support.
Go find himself a one-bedroom apartment and figure this fucking shit out.
You know what I'm saying?
That's what he should do.
Right.
Go home and punch a couple holes in that one-bedroom apartment in the walls
because you're going to need to after that speech, boy.
There's no way you're getting out of this without any physical release.
Holy shit.
But he loses his fucking mind, and then she does something else, too,
according to him, which makes no sense.
And this is his reaction to this, but he says all this i am roys
roys roys which sounds like a 50s movie too doesn't it i'm roys roys roys like she said it
i see uh fists in the air yeah roys she then lifted up her her short nightgown and and showed
her showed him her naked body she was like see i'm not giving you this puss anymore and i put
the fucking thing down or maybe she was showing like a i don't know what she was doing a tattoo
of roy's face near her vagina maybe or maybe that was a way of mitigating like i just yelled at you
here's my see look here's my body maybe you're now i'll flash you now calm down now calm down
maybe that's what it is because honestly i've never wanted to kill a naked woman no i've never
really wanted to kill many women but i've never wanted to kill a naked woman. I've never really wanted to kill many women, but I've never wanted to kill a naked woman,
especially if you just showed me your nakedness.
I'd be like, okay, well, that's fine.
I guess you're good for a while.
She showed him her balloons and her balloons.
You should be thrilled by now.
That's what I'm saying.
Now, the letter that she wrote, it is to Roy.
We find out later on.
She did send it to Roy.
It was a long letter, angst-ridden, they called it, all jumping around, very weird and stilted.
Like a woman that just fucked her husband but is in love with another man.
Yeah, I guess so.
But she goes from the weather to real things to crazy neurotic shit to like picking on Francis and saying that maybe his
character isn't right either.
She's a wacky broad.
It's like half love, half this, half that.
Yeah.
Who knows what her deal is?
But then another part, she had declarations of love for him and would say that she hated
her husband in the whole thing.
She was saying, she said, quote, can you imagine me trying to stand another's affection?
It gives me a feeling like I want to vomit.
I'm going to force my man's hand as soon as I think I can and I feel my mom is behind me.
So she's saying, I'm leaving this guy.
He makes me sick.
I've got to get my family behind me, and then I'm going to leave this here.
Now, back to the argument they were having according to to leslie he responds with it responds with the i'm roy's
roy's roy's and the flashing of her tits to uh he says quote uh let's do it in their own words
what do you say it's a very short one uh in their own words quote i am your husband you can never
get rid of me i promise you that so he's saying fuck that i'm your goddamn husband we have kids
i'm gonna own your shit because he's i don shit because he's off the deep end at this point.
He said at this point that in his mind, he saw a red mist descend on his wife.
Oh, boy.
Okay.
That made her, okay, this red mist made her grab for the revolver and try to shoot her.
Try to shoot him.
Yeah.
Try to shoot Leslie.
Leslie says there was a click, but the gun didn't go off.
Uh-oh.
All those warning shots.
Whoops-a-daisy.
You wore it out.
So that's what jams firing pin.
So they have a big struggle.
Leslie says he described what he calls a dizzy madness that rid him of reason and recollection.
He said all he could see were fevered images of his wife
and Francis in sexual congress.
He came to and from a blackout.
And when he came from a blackout
he said he, quote,
saw blood, blood all over, and I realized
that I had shot my wife. I was frightened.
I decided to end my life.
Okay? So that's what's going
on here. We'll get back to that. Him ending
his life. The mother-in-law heard the gunshot.
Of course.
She lives in the damn house.
She heard them as being separated by several minutes.
Several minutes.
Oh, shit.
That doesn't sound rageful, does it?
And she said her last, Lurleen's last words to her were, quote, don't come, mommy.
He's going to kill you, too.
Oh, boy.
So this is fucking frightening.
Yeah.
This is crazy shit right here. He's got her like hostage in there yeah shooting her uh she ran for help out of the house
she heard further shots ring out wow turns out uh there was in total seven gunshot wounds to her
body to lorraine he kills her with seven gunshot wounds uh two in the groin yeah those were on
purpose he shot the he shot the francis off of her one in the midriff Two in the groin. Yeah, those were on purpose. He shot the Francis off of her.
One in the midriff, one in the left breast, one in the left shoulder,
one in the neck, and one in the left cheek.
So he just, like, went up, up a line.
Several wounds showed signs of scorching, too,
which means they were fired from no more than eight inches away.
Six to eight inches, they're talking, with these particular scorched wounds.
It does not say that.
It just says several of the wounds,
which either way...
Probably all.
Yeah, we're going to go with...
We know which ones.
Let's be realistic here.
The ones where he was shooting at Francis
were definitely close.
He emerges from the bedroom
and tells his mother-in-law
that he shot her daughter.
Yeah.
And then he called the police and other family members.
She started calling family members.
He called the police.
Yeah.
She called other family members.
This whole time, by the way, police are coming.
Family members are rushing into the house.
No one thought to check the body.
What?
No one checked it.
No one even looked at her.
No one took a look at her or called a doctor.
Wow.
Which is pretty fucked up because she was alive.
What?
She's still fucking alive.
She took seven and she's still alive.
Didn't hit any.
Just nobody fucking called.
Nobody even looked.
They were like, I heard a lot of gunshots.
She's probably dead.
She's got to be gone.
They didn't even look.
Give up on her.
I assumed a few minutes ago, so I guess, I mean, I can be on their side for a sec.
But still, you got to check.
Unbelievable, man.
She was bleeding.
She died at a later stage.
Her body, she was naked, and the blood loss and shock is what shut her vital organs out.
He didn't even hit any organs.
He didn't do anything.
It was just blood loss and shock.
Wow.
If they could have stitched her up, she would have been fine.
Wow.
That's how crazy this is.
The first officer to arrive on the scene is a guy
who was, until like two weeks before,
was a traffic cop. Yeesh.
So this is the first responder to a murder scene
here. He did not
caution. Basically, they have a
rudimentary read-em-your-rights system
down there, basically, where you had to tell them, hey, you don't have
to tell me shit. It's called judge's
rules, which is their rights.
He fails to caution Leslie about that.
So against self-incrimination.
So Leslie rambled nervously half the time incoherently while he was detained, not under
arrest, had no judge's rules read to him here.
All the while, too, the cop is talking shit to him and asking him questions
and so is her whole
family. They're all fielding...
He's sitting here fielding questions
by these people. They're going, would you do this?
That's what it is. And he's like
completely, you know, in another state.
So this is... Wow.
He's Bill Belichick going,
whoa, whoa, whoa, we'll get the game take.
We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out.
We'll figure it out.
He made several different confessions shortly after that ended up being in evidence later on.
Yeah, he denied that he threatened anybody.
He claimed he purchased the bullets, like we said, for the robbery and all that.
He said he loved his wife.
It was a happy relationship.
And he accepted his wife's denial of everything in the letter.
He doesn't know what they're talking about.
He said he did.
He did get the he did see the letter that his wife wrote to Roy Francis and he admitted
he tried to get it back from the post office, but he just said he questioned his wife about
it and he told her he would obtain it.
Whereupon she confessed to having the affair.
And then she said he said that she went on to abuse him.
Yeah.
So that was it. She shot herself in the pussy. And then he said that she went on to abuse him. Yeah. So that was it.
And then she shot herself in the pussy.
And then twice, real close range, scorched it.
Scorched it.
That's one kind of Brazilian.
He said he also at that point said, quote, I am sorry.
I guess I just lost control.
Jesus.
So that's that there.
So he's fucked pretty much here.
Now, I found an article about this in
the St. Louis Dispatch in 1954.
It's about our, you know,
this is an article saying he's about
to stand trial. And it was really cool
because they did a good coverage for like another country's
newspaper and something else. But
I was so distracted by the sales,
Jimmy, by the sales in 1954.
What did shit cost
back then? So, if you are in, if it is May 22nd, 1954, where you are and you happen to be in St.
Louis.
Go get this shit, Marty McFly.
You need to go, yes, hop in the DeLorean and head to months TV service.
Home service day or night for only $1.50.
Wow.
They'll fix your TV.
No time limit.
House calls for $1.50.
Parts cost extra.
They're not running a fucking charity here, everybody. Come on. You shit together. That time limit. House calls for $1.50. Parts cost extra. They're not running a fucking charity here, everybody.
Come on. You're shit together.
That one hurt.
I choked.
Central Mart. You can
rent air conditioning units, dryers,
refrigerators, TVs, or freezers for
as little as $0.50 a day. A day?
A day. That's not bad. And
Juvenile Furniture Manufacturing
Company, which sounds like-
That sounds illegal as fuck.
It sounds like somewhere you sentence children to make furniture.
They have baby cribs, which are water repellent, which is good because they're going to piss on them.
Large ones for $14.
That's a six-year-old size.
Choose to keep your kid outside.
Yeah, what fucking six-year-old is sleeping in a crib, first of all?
And small ones for only $6.
The shit was cheap back then.
Six bucks for a crib. That's great. Six bucks for a water repellent crib. I wish that was the price today. No shit. First of all, and small ones for only $6. The shit was cheap back then. Six bucks for a crib.
That's great.
Six bucks for a water repellent crib.
I wish that was the price today.
No shit.
October 1954, the trial starts.
This courtroom packed.
Packed.
Really?
Hundreds, thousands.
This is OJ Jamaica.
Really?
This is Jamaican fucking OJ.
All right.
Well, it's the 50s in a small island.
They don't have a lot going on anyway.
And when some guy who was a test cricket player kills his wife in spectacular Well, it's the 50s in a small island. They don't have a lot going on anyway. Some guy who was a test
cricket player kills his wife
in spectacular fashion. There's some
shit to talk about. They barely have
TV, for Christ's sake. They probably didn't have anything down
there. No shows, nothing going on.
So hundreds of thousands are jostling
for position. They all want to
hear the details, too. They want to know, okay.
They want the sordid shit. Yeah, they want to know
the sordid shit, man. They want
Dateline Live. That's what they want.
Oh, yeah, and the newspapers,
I mean, just covered this. I mean,
this was their Christmas here.
It was Fourth of July. It says, quote,
reports in the newspapers were read in homes
and in barbershops and under community
trees every day. This is just like
all anyone was talking about.
But despite all of this,
they're supportive toward
Hilton. They're supportive
toward Leslie. When they
catch a sight of him or his defense
team, the crowds cheer loudly.
They like him. He's represented
by Vivian Blake, who was
a defense attorney here.
The prosecutor here
is a guy named Lowell Nethersole
who was a captain
of one of the Jamaican cricketing teams of the
30s that Leslie was on, which is weird
as shit. And that's the prosecutor?
That's the prosecutor. The judge
is a guy named Colin McGregor
who used to be a good lawyer, but he
is considered very
harsh and very into class.
If you're lower than him and you come to his court, he treats you like a piece of shit here. The Jamaican, the Jamaica Observer called him tough and not always delivering justice to working class defendants.
It also said that he is not above berating and even dismissing a jury for reaching a verdict that did not comply with his particular worldview.
So this guy is a loose fucking cannon here.
The issue for this is pretty straightforward.
It's just was this premeditated murder or manslaughter based on partial defense?
Because he is a defense of provocation.
He's basically saying she asked for it.
She fucked another dude.
And then told me about it and showed it to me.
And then told me that I'm Royce, Royce, Royce.
So he's saying that that's legally an okay reason to kill her a little bit, at least enough to knock it from premeditated murder to manslaughter, which, I don't know, you bought shells.
That looks premeditated to me.
Yeah.
You know.
The argument, Jamaican no sense.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, Jamaican no sense, man.
You're making no sense, man.
So the defense is trying to figure out how to come across that he's a – their defense is basically any reasonable person would have had that temporary loss of self-control.
Anybody.
Which, like I said, go get a hotel room.
But anyway, yeah.
You went and bought shells, bro.
That's the thing here. Now, what they said, too, this is funny, too.
The whole point was how do you define a reasonable man?
And they talked about this in court.
Was it a passionate, hot-blooded Jamaican man or a laconic Englishman?
Which one of those is normal?
They could be different.
They could be this.
They could be that.
It's crazy.
That's what I mean.
They really tried to make this like a class thing, a cultural thing.
Wow.
Super weird here.
McGregor was irritable the whole time
when Hilton was on the stand. When Leslie's on the
stand, he interrupted him repeatedly
to scold him for things
that basically
they said that he was
Hilton's not well educated. He was
in the middle of his testimony? Yeah, he stopped
going to school when he was 11 and they were saying the
prosecutor was kind of confusing him and
trying to go around him. And so they would, the judge got mad thinking he was being evasive and would
yell at him and he just didn't know any better or what to do. It seems like what it was. He went
through two days of cross-examination with the judge jumping in and talking shit to him too,
every time. And basically they said under exhaustion, it just seemed like he didn't
understand the subtlety of some of the questions, which might be true or he might have been really good at sandbagging.
We're not sure here.
The mother-in-law testifies.
She said that he lost control.
He said that the shots, like we said before, the shots were not in a frenzy.
They were minutes apart.
They were minutes apart.
There was another witness in a preliminary statement, a neighbor, that said the shots were fired in rapid succession,
but then later on changed the five months later saying that he heard the shots over more prolonged periods.
So, I mean, that's who knows.
That's neighbors.
I'm sure they got him to say it was like this, but who knows what he thought he heard in the beginning.
You never know here.
What he says is she's also he says some more things that she brought up,
Leslie does in court.
She says, since you have been going to all this trouble,
you might as well know here and now
because I cannot stand the torture
of the past few days anymore.
I have written to him, so what?
And then he goes into the,
she goes into the,
I should have followed my parents' advice.
Roy's Roy Roy.
Right.
The whole deal, I'm finished with you.
Proclamation of whose pussy this is. Yeah, exactly whole deal, I'm finished with you. Proclamation of whose pussy this is.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm finished with you. Hilton apparently said to
that, are you crazy? What's going to happen to us
and G, who's the nine-year-old son who
had been going to a really prestigious prep school
in Kingston because the grandparents were
powerful and all that. So yeah,
he'll be all right. He's going to be well taken care of, but his mom's
dead, so that's not good here.
The most damning evidence came from a guy named Dr. Vernon Lindo, who's a pathologist
who performed the autopsy and everything.
He described the gunshot wounds, and once they described the scorching and all of that
kind of thing, it looked pretty bad.
And another thing they found, too, was that Lurleen had recently been pregnant and undergone
an abortion right before she came back to America
also.
Brutal.
He didn't know that, Leslie, but that's what they found in the post-examination.
Oh, man.
He didn't know any of them.
Imagine if she told him that.
Oh, boy.
Her letter to Francis, in her letter to Francis, she actually refers to an, quote, extant pregnancy,
even though it had already been terminated.
So they were trying to figure out what the hell that was about.
But it doesn't matter.
The most important thing is she was shot seven times.
That is a revolver.
A revolver.
He had to reload.
A revolver holds six fucking bullets.
Holy shit.
So he must have reloaded, which right away kind of kills the claim that he lost his fucking
That is crazy.
That's not great here.
I didn't even think about that.
Yeah, I was waiting for you to catch it so my god uh yeah he was he was freaking out about this
whole thing uh he said that she said at this point after the whole i'm your husband you can never get
rid of me statement she said uh you stand in my way and i'll show you and then uh he said that
she took the revolver which was on the windowsill and attempted to shoot her like shoot him like i
said he said he heard a click he said he struggled with her he took the revolver, which was on the windowsill, and attempted to shoot her, like, shoot him, like I said. He said he heard a click.
He said he struggled with her.
He took the revolver from her, had a complete blackout, but he believed he did shoot her
as he found the revolver in his own hand and saw her bleeding.
So that's the only reason why he knew.
He said he...
And shells all over the place and the weapons full again.
He said he reloaded with two cartridges to commit suicide.
That was the two cartridges he reloaded.
He needed two.
That's another thing.
This was an unsuccessful suicide.
He said he completely lost control of the whole deal.
He says when he came out of his stupor, he reloaded with two cartridges.
Now, this is amazing.
This is his explanation because one of these cartridges that he's trying to kill himself
with hits her because she has seven gunshot wounds.
So this is amazing.
He said the reliability of the gun caused one of the shots to fire accidentally and
a trembling hand caused the second one to miss his temple before he lost the courage
with it and just said, you know, just stopped.
They never they they didn't even ask him on the stand.
Why did you use two cartridges?
But he's saying that he he tried to shoot his temple and accidentally shot his wife again.
Like, that's amazing.
I shot up and it went down.
That's impressive.
It's bananas.
She's on the floor.
You tried to shoot your temple and hit her.
Amazing.
That's wild.
Yeah.
She said-
Newton's law of gravity was found long before this.
Yeah.
Way long before.
Yeah.
They removed four bullets.
We know that.
And shit, the theory of relativity was for him when he was born.
They found four bullets they removed from the body,
and then they found one bullet in the wall
and then two that had exited the body.
The seventh bullet, though, yeah, that hit her also following the reloading.
Obviously, the prosecutor is saying the fact that he bought the bullets
the day before she came home and shot eight times and reloaded points to this just being pretty goddamn calculated
and his story is completely full of shit.
They're saying, too, in a lot of these letters, like the way she was, she probably would have
tried to provoke him.
That's just the kind of person she was.
A counsel for the Crown, this is the prosecutor, said, quote, if Lurleen Hilton were not virtuous, if she were no paragon of wifely virtue, she still had a right to life.
Oh, my God.
You think?
They're like, look.
He just slut shamed her off.
Yeah.
And she's dead.
Yeah.
He just slut shamed a dead woman.
She's a whore, but whatever.
She still has a right to live.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
He could have shot her in the pussy once or twice, but don't kill her.
I mean, that's what he basically said.
her in the pussy once or twice, but don't kill her.
I mean, that's what he basically said.
And in the prosecutor's closing statement, he said, quote, out of all the proportion,
out of all proportion to the provocation, is what he said.
Like, you know, this is not, it's not proportionate to what she did to provoke, basically.
She didn't shoot him. Now, they did find also that one of the spent cartridges had a double firing pin impression
that is actually consistent with a jam.
So it's actually, you know, it somewhat supports what he said that she tried to shoot him.
But also it could have been him trying to shoot her and just whatever.
Yeah.
And also to, you know, the stupid, his terrible defense.
Good Lord, his terrible suicide attempt.
That's just fucking pathetic. So basically the prosecution is saying cold-blooded, horrible, you know, meant to do it, had it planned, bought the cartridges, piece of shit.
And the defense is saying just he was just sitting around with his son, with his mother-in-law, and she came home.
She came in and flashed her stretcher on her vagina.
He just snapped and he saw red mist coming over her.
He didn't know what was going on.
I mean, so there's a lot of room in the middle here to to figure out you know to find like what you really think is happening with that
old saying there's three sides to every story this one this one and the truth that's it yeah
somewhere in between those two fucking crazy stories is the truth so he's sitting there now
he's waiting it's the end of court he's fucking what do you do you know what i mean you get hungry
you get hungry well he's not really, but he's sitting around,
and they let him go for a walk in the yard a little bit.
He walks around, and he likes dogs, and he hears some barking.
He turns around, and it's Bobby Colorado, animal trainer in 1954.
And he says,
How is it you come to arrive here?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
No, don't pet my dogs.
I don't like...
What are you doing?
Yeah, she showed you a fucking...
What do you care?
She showed you a puss?
You should have taken that as a fucking say.
One last thing before I walk out.
That's no reason to fucking kill a broad.
Who kills somebody for showing them their tits?
What's wrong with you?
You ever been to a fucking strip club?
Was the place bloody when you left?
What the fuck is wrong...
I don't understand you.
I said don't pet my fucking dog, all right?
I'm getting out of here.
Me and my German shepherds are going.
It's a service dog.
I'm sorry.
It's a service dog.
Not for you.
Not for you.
I hope you're guilty, all right?
I'm going to go now.
Please don't feed my dog.
I'm going to go now.
Hey, you're not going to shoot me as I walk away, are you?
You're not going to have like a complete loss of mental capacity, are you?
Just checking, all right, asshole?
All right, have a good one.
See you later.
Keep your eyes off my tits.
Poof.
And a puff of dog shit and marinara sauce.
He's gone.
Gone.
So on October 20th, 1954, the Justice McGregor here spends the morning summing up and giving
guidance to the jury on the whole deal.
This is jury deliberation time.
Yeah.
It's so funny, too, because he acts like he's real
pompous about the whole thing but he also kind of takes shots at hylton hylton as he's doing it
like kind of under a little under the surface shots out of a little better than you yeah he
admitted to in the in there in his instructions he admitted that the arresting officer failed to
caution uh leslie into the you know not to everything. But he said he excused the officer on the grounds of his inexperience.
And he's going to allow the defendants incriminating statements anyway.
He's like, he was just inexperienced.
So it's fine to ruin a criminal case over that.
Two days ago, we got bitched at for a parking ticket by some broad.
So we're going to allow this one.
Yeah, definitely.
He said, quote, there are many persons that took the view that in our law we err on the side of helping the criminal escape.
And he said, I prefer the other way.
So he would rather err on keeping innocent people in jail.
He, on the question of the provocation, the judge directed the jury that neither Lurleen's abusive words nor her confessional taunts nor anything, even her trying to shoot her husband, amounted to, in the law, to provocation,
which the shooting part kind of does a little bit.
Kind of does.
But I guess once you get the gun away from her, you don't have to shoot her anymore.
Yeah, right.
At that point, you have a gun and she doesn't.
There was a very narrow interpretation of the law, the whole thing.
He kept telling them to consider the provocation and assess it using the, quote, reasonable man test.
That we talked about earlier, though, that there is no reasonable.
There's no standard for that.
Even so, here, the jury comes back.
They deliberated one hour and 27 minutes.
Yeah.
And they get back and the foreman says that they can't reach a unanimous verdict.
They're deadlocked.
McGregor, the judge, is fucking pissed.
He's fucking pissed he's fucking pissed he sends them back to think some more yeah and he says uh he
said basically this would be you know i don't even know if this would this you couldn't do this now
he says quote it makes for great public inconvenience and expense if jurors cannot agree
or uh owing to unwillingness of one or more of their number to listen to the arguments of the
rest so he's like get the fuck in there and bully those people into fucking agreeing with you.
So they go back in for another hour and 19 minutes.
They come back out.
The foreman is looking kind of haggard.
He's had to, I'm sure, you know.
He's been listening to arguments for the past hour and a half.
Yeah, right.
And trying to get votes together.
Come on, guys, let's vote.
They come back with a verdict of guilty.
All right.
Guilty of murder, not of manslaughter, of murder.
So that's premeditation, but with a, quote, strong recommendation for mercy.
Oh.
So they don't want anything bad to happen to him.
We don't want the book thrown at him.
But they think he did it.
Right.
When the verdict was read, huge all groans.
I mean, this was like the crowd was pissed.
Everybody were on his side. was like the crowd was pissed. Everybody were on his side.
Yeah, the crowd was pissed.
There was some sympathy, whatever, and even the mercy from the jury.
Like, nobody wanted anything bad to happen to this fucking guy.
It's the weirdest thing in the world.
So they go for a sentence.
And what they do back then, I don't know if you know anything about English law or things like that.
Nothing.
They would place a black cap on their head, the judge, when they are passing a death sentence.
Oh, shit.
They place a black cap, which is kind of like a square yarmulke, basically.
It's a square of cloth that they put on their head.
It's like a spit bag.
No, it's just a square of cloth they stick on their head.
Oh, it goes on top of their head?
You just put it on top of your head.
Oh, Jesus, like a black dunce cap?
No, the judge puts it on himself.
Oh, my God. What? This is my deathce cap? No, the judge puts it on himself. Oh, my God.
What?
This is my death declaring hat.
What?
And he puts it on.
I'm going to declare some death here.
Boom.
This is crazy.
He slaps it on his head, and that's how you know that a death sentence is coming.
Oh, boy.
Which is super weird.
So, yeah.
So, they put it on there, and he sentences him to death.
Oh, wow.
He sentences him to death.
So, it's a jury to go fuck themselves.
Pretty much, yeah.
Recommendation of mercy.
You 12 may go fuck off.
May fuck off.
Yeah, he says, you, sir, may fuck off.
Death penalty.
And how do you kill someone back then in Jamaica?
You hang them back then.
So this is fucking crazy.
He's about to be executed.
He has his son.
Now he's going to have no parents.
I mean, he's got this son here who's now like nine years old, seven years old.
His life's destroyed.
Yeah.
Even the grandfather's dead.
Oh, he's going to be pampered by that prickly mother.
They have all these type of things.
I mean, think about this.
They're all pissed.
The whole island's pissed.
Everybody's upset.
I feel bad for all these people, Jimmy.
I really do.
But not nearly as bad as I feel for Leslie Hylton, a camp counselor at the Rockbrook
School for Girls.
Get out of here.
In North, outside Ashford, North Carolina.
That's a lady.
That is a lady, this one, definitely.
And it says about her, quote, Leslie will be joining us from Brevard College, a mathematics
major and president of the math club.
Leslie loves using her mastery of this subject to tutor local middle school and high schoolers.
She hopes to one day become a high school math teacher.
Leslie loves her cat, Whiskers, and can tell you a thing or two about choosing the best outfit for your stuffed animal from her previous experience.
She is so lonely.
Working at Build-A-Bear Workshop.
Working at Build-A-Bear Workshop.
Then it says, we can barely and bare, just the bare parts in capital letters, hide our excitement for Leslie's arrival.
She's such a dork.
Not nearly as bad as I feel for Leslie Hylton, counselor for United States Senator Al Franken in Washington, D.C. She has also worked for Senator Mark Udall, the Truth and Justice Reconciliation Commission,
and also to Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice and Human Rights from Seattle University.
She's got her best gig right now, though, working for Franken.
She's working for Franken.
So fun.
Yeah, yeah, no shit.
So there you go.
That's that.
I feel bad for those people.
So over the next few months, there's various appeals procedures.
Obviously, we're a huge pain in the ass here, the appeals.
There was appeal dismissed on January 10th, 1955.
An application was then made for another one to have an appeal, but that too was refused on April 21st, 1955.
Chief Justice Sir John Carberry presided over the appeal.
He took note of two instances where there were inaccuracies to the facts in summing up of the trial, in the summing up of the trial judge when he gave to the jury.
However, the court did not think either of them were, quote, material.
And basically what this judgment said was, quote, the appellate Hilton said that his wife confessed to him that she had committed adultery.
Let it be conceded that this was a sudden and unexpected confession and that she added the words, the words he repeated in evidence, which were described by his counsel as words of abuse, insult, derision and contempt.
And that she took up a loaded revolver, pointed him and pulls the trigger as he heard it click.
Oliver pointed at him and pulls the trigger as he heard it click.
Basically, what he says here is his mode of resentment was entirely disproportionate to the provocation he suffered.
We are satisfied that even if there had been a perfect summing up and had the question objected to had not been allowed in cross-examination and the answers given, a reasonable jury must have come to the conclusion that the appellant was guilty of murder.
You, sir, may fuck off.
Hang in your ass.
Keep on fucking.
Keep on fucking.
So, yeah, that's what ends up happening here.
It says, we are of the opinion that no miscarriage of justice has actually occurred in this case.
The appeal is dismissed and the conviction and the sentence are affirmed.
The last hope for Leslie was a petition to Sir Hugh Foote, who was the governor of Jamaica.
And he's going to put that foot in his ass.
And Foote was a huge fan of the West Indian cricket team.
Uh-oh.
But he loved, he was a big fan of Hylton of that time.
Yeah.
He loved his whole deal.
But he loves to hang people more.
Yeah, he did not commute the sentence.
No.
He says, nope, you can still go fuck off.
I saw your best years. I don't think you're going to come out says, nope, you can still go fuck off. I saw your best years.
I don't think you're going to come out and help the team now.
So go fuck yourself.
I'll be the silver-haired middle-aged white man today.
Fine, he says.
At this point, Leslie finds religion, which, as we know, is always going to happen.
He becomes a Catholic at this point, which is an odd thing to find, I guess.
But execution date set for May 17th, 1955.
This is some bullshit.
You know, back then they would say crazy shit that they were like, you know,
some sort of weird superstitious shit.
Word emerged from the prison that Leslie's hair turned white overnight.
What?
While he waited for the execution.
Like, I don't think that happened.
He found the bleach in the fucking janitor closet.
I'd like to see the pictures of that one here.
That's awesome.
1,200 miles away also, Barbados was hosting a test match with the West Indies.
And in the opener here, there was a player named J.K.C. Holt for the Windies here, for for the west indies guys who was playing like shit so there
there was a uh the well we'll give a newspaper quote of the time here it said quote not only
had he had he to endure the declining returns this is the guy we're talking about holt uh during the
fourth test the biting and ghoulish sense of humor of the crowd after he dropped more catches than
they were prepared to accept spectators turned up with a placard reading
Hang Holt Save Holt.
They're like, you suck.
We'd rather you die than take this guy.
Yeah.
Execution morning. He could not eat
his breakfast. They had a breakfast of banana,
porridge, eggs, and toast, which sounds like what
you'd eat in Jamaica.
He dressed himself. He had a light tropical
suit, a gray suit suit and a white shirt,
and he gets escorted off to the scaffolds. There's thousands of people there to watch.
It's at St. Catherine District Prison in Spanish Town, and they all watch. He approached,
he goes up. They said he was very quiet and calm and had dignity in any way. He again denied that
he meant to do this whole thing and the whole deal.
He said that his faith was helping him.
He took the 13 steps down to the gallows.
The death certificate said he was dead at 8.37 a.m.
He's buried within the prison compound in a 20-foot pit.
Brutal.
That already held the remains of a prisoner executed a month or so earlier.
So they just tossed him in a hole.
Wow.
Yeah, it's crazy, man.
Two years later, this is interesting.
Two years later, a new homicide act reformed the partial defense of provocation, making the reasonable man test the sole responsibility of the jury.
This came a little late for Hylton here.
This might have brought a huge different outcome, though.
Really?
That would be the only test.
Would a reasonable man do that?
And if you had a couple of jurors that were like, that sounds reasonable to me.
Yeah, you're fucking off, man.
A couple of guys that have been cheated on.
Yeah, a couple of yeah, a couple of shithead guys with a bad attitude.
Yeah.
Now, based on today, too, they would have.
I seriously doubt that with the judges, all the judges, things and everything like that going uncorrected, this guy probably wouldn't be executed.
We'll say that.
And in a non-island country.
Yeah.
If he wasn't in Jamaica and he wasn't in 1955, probably wouldn't have been executed.
But he shouldn't have shot his fucking wife.
No doubt.
What an idiot.
That's Leslie Hilton.
That's our first venture into cricket and into the Jamaica.
And he's a murderer too.
And he's a murderer.
A murderer, everybody. We shut up and gave you a. And he's a murderer, too. And he's a murderer. A murderer, everybody.
We shut up and gave you a murder like we do on our other show.
If you like that, please, like we said, get on iTunes and give us five stars.
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week with their donations with their everything just here they are jimmy why don't you tell us
about those fine fine people first of all emails this week we're out of control again uh you guys
suggesting people uh jess landgren in austral Australia sent us a very detailed email of all kinds of people.
Thank you guys so much for all the emails.
We read each and every one of them.
So if we don't write back to you, just know that we got your email.
And we try to get to all of them.
It's kind of crazy.
It's difficult.
It's a lot of social media.
So Amber Pachasic and Chelsea Pisker up in Minnesota, I believe.
Minnesota.
It's definitely Minnesota.
Thank you, ladies, very much for jumping on.
Deidre Kohler, Kat Power, Julia Schuster, Sean Sheridan, Jess Landgren, of course.
Karen Price, Maggie Eichhorn emailed a really great story.
Jenny Petko, Renan Moore, Valerie Galloway, Helen Crumple.
Did I say Helen yet?
I think I did.
I don't know if you did, but let's say it twice.
She's so nice, we'll say her twice.
Bethany McGregor, Michael Bretz, Scott Countryman, Ranger and Ava.
I forget where they're at, but he sends stuff all the time.
He's awesome.
He's a good dude.
Matthew Carroll, Kathleen Pina or Pina.
Or Pina.
I'm not sure.
Jeff Skinner or Skinner or Skiner. I'm not sure. Jeff Skinner or Skinner or Skinner.
I'm not sure.
Donald.
Donald Barnwell.
Katie Conlin.
Alex in there in it in a turb in a tire in a turb.
I'm going with that.
Tori and SPK.
That's two different people.
Tori and SPK.
Thank you.
Erica Hogan.
Katie Allen.
And the last one.
Don Bain.
Don Bain.
Thank you all so, so much for all of your donations and helping us
so so much it's
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incredibly thankful
it really does it's what keeps us going and you guys
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