Date Yourself Instead - 10 ways to start off 2025 strong, confident, and ready to take on a new year
Episode Date: December 24, 2024In the final episode of 2024, I dive into 10 ways to have an incredible start to the new year. 2025 has me EXCITED, simply because I do feel 2024 was the year of transformation, challenges, hard lesso...ns and it got a bit messy...whereas this year coming up, I have a feeling is going to be a GOOD one - the year of abundance, confidence and power. JOIN MY MASTERCLASSES HERE DOWNLOAD MY FREE HIGHER SELF MEDITATION When you download the higher self meditation, your email will automatically be added to our waitlist for the masterclasses. Doors open again January 1, 2025. Remember - if you loved this episode, be sure to share it with a friend and on instagram stories - I see you and I appreciate the support and the love so so much. xx
Transcript
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Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Date Yourself Instead.
This is really going to kickstart the new year 2025.
I've been waiting to record the 2025 episodes for a couple months now
because I feel like the last, honestly, the last half of the year for me has
been a complete shit show and I've been looking forward to a fresh start, a new year, a new opportunity
to redeem all the things that have happened in 2024 and completely level up and change for the
better and have an amazing incredible start to the new year. 2025, as I've mentioned in the previous
episodes, is the year of redemption, where we really step into our power
and change who we are for the better,
and we use all the tools and all the lessons
and all the heartbreaks and everything
that we went through in 2024,
and now we apply what we've learned in the new year.
The reason I love a new year and a new start
is because we really are able to refocus, reset, and
re-center our brains and our lives.
And even if we've gone through some crazy shit in 2024, I know it was a shit show for
a lot of people listening to Date Yourself instead.
The amount of DMs, messages I got about the energy of 2024 was insane.
I made a post on Instagram about it, and I feel like all of us went through some deep healing
and a lot of experiences that have shaped us, that have changed us, that have truly transformed us.
And 2025 is our opportunity now to take everything that we went through and use it for good and use it to
heal even deeper, change even more, and really become the greatest versions of ourselves.
And on today's episode, I wanted to talk about 10 really impactful, powerful ways
to completely change your life in 2025. Let's make this year your year. Whether you are
Let's make this year your year. Whether you are getting back into the dating scene,
whether you are looking to change your career,
looking to find a new calling, a new purpose,
try something new, pursue a new passion, a new hobby,
this episode is made for you
because I want you to be the greatest version
of yourself in 2025. I want you to
face your fears, to face any doubts you have about yourself and completely take over your
life and take control of your life and not be afraid to jump on new opportunities and
to become the greatest version of you. I know it can be scary. I know it can be intimidating
to make major changes and go
through major life transitions. But this episode is made for you if you feel that push, if you feel
that urge, that desire, that calling to really better your life and change your life. And you
just need a little more encouragement and a little more guidance into 2025. And the beauty of also
going after your dreams
and changing who you are and leveling up
and going after what you want in life
is that it is always possible
if you put your mind to something
and you truly believe in yourself
and you have faith in yourself.
It is always possible.
And I really wanna reiterate that
and make that a strong point
moving into
these ten ways you can completely change your life in the new year because
we often surround ourselves with
environmental things or people or
places that make us feel smaller than we really are and
it can be discouraging when we have a friend or a partner or a coworker or a family member telling
us that it's impossible to achieve our dreams, it's impossible to do this or that, it's unrealistic,
we're setting expectations too high. When we hear those things and those narratives and people
kind of discouraging us and steering us away from our destiny or our goals, it can be really hard
to push forward and stay motivated.
And this podcast episode in general,
and Date Yourself Instead in general,
is designed to help give you that encouragement
and that push.
I know for me, I had so many people in my life,
in my past that would tell me things were too big,
things were too far out of reach for me,
things were impossible.
What I wanted was unattainable.
I obviously love my parents and we have such a great
relationship, but years ago when I started my Instagram,
when I started building my social media presence,
they were so skeptical and they were like,
this is unrealistic, you need a plan B, you need a plan C,
you can't just graduate school and start Instagram
and be an influencer.
The word influencer and the concept of a social media content creator did not exist at the
time when I started.
I started my brand and my Instagram over 10 years ago when an influencer wasn't even a
thing.
So now looking back at all the obstacles I faced and all the challenges I faced with
people doubting me and telling me what I was doing was unrealistic and telling me what
I was doing was wrong, essentially, I want to make it my mission now to spread messages
of encouragement and push people to take risks and push people to follow your dreams and
follow your calling, whatever it may be. And also even when it comes to your relationships and dating
to encourage you to not be afraid to take risks and date differently in 2025. We are dating
differently in 2025 where not only are we evolving from the past and tolerating shitty behavior from people,
and we are moving past that,
and we're setting firm boundaries
and loving ourselves in the new year,
but also just to take our time when it comes to dating.
I feel like I was always the type of person
who rushed and jumped into relationships
because I always wanted to feel that high
and that dopamine rush of love and what it feels because I always wanted to feel that high
and that dopamine rush of love
and what it feels like to be wanted
and validated by someone else.
But moving into this year,
after doing so much inner work
and healing on myself in 2024,
the new goal and the new thing that I wanna touch on
more often on the podcast is learning how to enjoy
the slow burn when it comes to
relationships, when it comes to really getting to know the people in your life and allowing
people into your circle and allowing people into your timeline because your time is precious,
your energy is precious, your time and energy matters.
And in 2025, I think a huge thing that I'm going to emphasize in my life, and I hope
I can influence you to do the same, is taking my sweet fucking time when it comes to dating
someone and getting into a relationship.
Because if it is your soulmate, if it is the person you end up with for the rest of your
life that you are married and locked down with,
there's no need to rush and floor it
and rush into something
if you don't know that person that well.
If it's meant to be, it will be regardless.
If it is destined for you, you can't escape it.
You can't miss it.
So if you truly believe in that
and you truly believe that nothing can fuck up
what's meant for you and
nothing is going to get in the way of the relationship that's destined for you.
There's no need to floor the process of getting into a relationship and dating and getting
to know someone.
And the other side of that is also, I talk about faith now more on the podcast and God
and believing in a
higher power guiding me. And one thing I also believe is He knows what's best for us. So
when we trust in that, and we have complete faith in that, there is no need to make rash
decisions with anything. And there's no need to doubt ourselves or question ourselves,
because He will always guide us on the right path and in the right direction.
And he will always align what's best for us long term.
Even if in the moment you're struggling
or you're doubting something or something
feels very confusing or conflicting,
there is a higher power at play that
is guiding you in the right direction at all times.
And you just have to trust, even if you
feel like you're going through major setbacks
or you went through a major setback in 2024, just having unwavering faith that everything is a part
of the plan for you, and everything is a unique part of your journey. And even if you're going
through struggle, it is a part of the plan to get you to where you need to be. That is such a beautiful
way to live your life
moving into the new year.
And that's the way I'm living my life.
I hope I can encourage you to do the same.
Now, the one thing I also wanna touch on
before I dive into this episode
about ways to completely change your life in 2025
is that I have both master classes open for the new year, my Dare to Detach program
and the Mind Body Soul Reset. They are the most powerful combination to up level in the new year
if you are looking for a boost to transform your life and accelerate the process of transforming
your life for the better in really healthy and meaningful ways. My master classes, Dare to Detach
and the Mind Body Soul Reset are designed to help you change your life
in unimaginable ways to the point
where you do not recognize your old self anymore.
The Dare to Detach program really focuses on detaching
from toxic relationships, toxic past cycles,
toxic patterns that have kept you stuck
and kept you clinging on to people and situations
that are no longer aligned for you.
We do not want to move into the new year stuck on our ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends or
ex-partners.
We do not want to move into the new year clinging onto old baggage and old relationships that
have made us fucking miserable.
Okay?
I want you to move into 2025 with clarity, with peace, with self-love, with confidence.
I want you to move into this new
year so sure of yourself and so powerful that you're not going to tolerate anything less than
perfection when it comes to the people and relationships and things in your life. So if
you are looking to detach and learn the art of detachment, I highly recommend grabbing the
Masterclass Dare to Detach. And if you are also looking to reset your mind, body, soul,
and to feel healthy and fit and productive moving into the new year,
the mind, body, soul reset is also an amazing addition for you.
If you are looking to up level and have a major glow up,
especially if you've gone through a breakup,
if you've done some healing work and you just need that extra motivation
and that extra push to heal even deeper
and to physically, mentally, and spiritually glow up
for the better, the My Body Soul Reset was made for you.
We have an amazing private group chat in both communities
where we all talk about our healing journeys
and we help each other, we uplift each other,
we inspire each other.
It is so amazing and so incredible to have all of you in these
master classes. We have thousands of members already and counting and I am so proud of everyone
who's already joined. If you are interested in learning more and joining the master classes,
you can sign up by going to the link in the show notes or you could go to my Instagram at
dateyourself instead for more information. Usually the master classes are linked in my stories. I cannot wait to see you guys there. 2025 is going to be the best fucking year. Mark
my words for transformation, for up leveling, for really, really owning who you are and being more
confident in who you are. And I cannot wait to see your transformations. Now let's get into today's episode. All right, let's dive into this episode,
10 ways to make 2025 the best fucking year
of your life, guaranteed.
Number one, it's time to romanticize your life.
You are the movie star.
You are the superstar of your own reality. You create
the rules. You dictate your reality. You create your reality. You are in control.
Your thoughts will create your reality. You can create your own real movie. Your
life can be a movie if you are truly confident in your destiny and your
ability to create through the power of your thinking and being positive and having faith and moving in your own
unique creative way and not following the crowd. You have to be your own best
advocate. You have to be so confident in your mission and what you're here for on
this earth and what you're here to do and your purpose and what you're destined
to create that you're not going to follow anyone anymore.
You're not going to follow the pack.
You are going to make an impact in your own unique way by owning who you are,
owning how special you are.
You are one of a kind.
There is no one else like you.
People could try to copy you,
people could try to replicate who you are.
But it is time to own who you are, know how special you are, and take
advantage of it. Take advantage of how creative you are, how different you are.
What makes you unique? I feel like we often focus on comparing ourselves to
everyone else because of social media and because of what it's done. It can be
really easy to go online
and just start comparing ourselves,
the way we look, our appearance, the way we talk,
the way we act, our careers,
what we're doing with our lives,
what relationships we're in.
It's so easy to get caught up
in what other people are doing and accomplishing.
But instead of doing that in 2025,
what we're gonna do is focus our energy in words
and own our power and what makes us special
and different from everyone else.
There is enough to go around for everyone.
This is something I've talked about with my friends
when I was living in Bali
and I plan on going back there really soon
because I just thrive there.
I miss it so much and I'm hosting retreats there next year,
not to get off topic anyways.
But I just have learned so many valuable lessons
there and that's why I always bring it up
because it's just such a special place.
And one big thing I really took away is that
there is always enough to go around.
When you live in an abundant mindset
and an expansive mindset and you're an expansive,
magical person, you realize that there's enough
to go around for everyone.
There's no need to compare yourself to anyone else.
Stop also waiting for perfect circumstances
to make you feel good about yourself.
It's time to romanticize your life in a beautiful way
where you look at what you have,
you're grateful for what you already have,
and you appreciate it, and you own it,
and you capitalize on it.
There has to be at least one or two things that you have
that make you different from everyone else
in a good way, in a positive way.
There has to be something.
You just have to look for it and focus on it.
And I think because of, as I just said,
Instagram and TikTok, we just see so much content.
We're so exposed to so much that we get caught up in this idea
that we're not good enough, our lives aren't great enough,
we're not traveling to Bora Bora like everyone else,
and we're not flying on private jets,
and we're not influencers or whatever it is,
and we can't keep up, so we're not good enough,
or we're not worthy of a magical life,
but that is so far from the truth.
If anything, I think the beauty of life
is in the most simple things.
That's also a huge takeaway I got from 2024,
because I actually accomplished so many of my goals
and manifested so many of the things I wanted to manifest.
And I was fucking miserable.
I was still really depressed, and I felt very empty and isolated.
And from that experience, from getting everything I wanted, from finally being financially secure
and reaching milestones with my podcast and still feeling empty inside, I realized that
happiness isn't in all of that bullshit. Happiness is in
the small things. When you appreciate the current moment, when you have a cup of coffee in the
morning and you say a prayer and you practice gratitude, when you pet a dog, when you go for
a walk, when you speak to a friend that you love, those small moments is what makes life so magical
and so precious.
So stop comparing yourself to everyone else's experiences.
Stop comparing your life to everyone else's lives because it's really not what it looks
like.
I can promise you that.
All the glitz and the glamour and the craziness of social media that makes us look like we're
small and we're not doing enough is all bullshit.
Romanticize your life in your own unique way.
Get off social media, get off Instagram
and start appreciating what you already have.
That is such a key takeaway I took from 2024
and I'm carrying into 2025.
Just remember to treat yourself like the main character and watch how much happier you become.
Focus on yourself more, treat yourself as the movie star that you are,
take yourself out to dinner, do your hair and makeup, get dressed up, do whatever it takes,
treat yourself like a movie star and watch how everything else around you unfolds and changes
and how people treat you and what you attract and what you manifest.
The better you feel about yourself and the more confident internally you feel about yourself
in your life, magic starts to fucking happen.
I can guarantee you that.
Number two, slow down the process of committing to people.
The people you allow in your life really fucking matter.
Really, really matter. You need to have firm boundaries when it comes to the
friendships, relationships, and people in your life and in your environment, in
your mental space. Don't let anyone bring you down and make you feel like you're
not worthy enough in relationships,
in any type of relationships, platonic or romantic or whatever it may be.
Be aware of who you're surrounding yourself with and make sure you take your time when
it comes to your relationships and allowing people into your space.
I mentioned this at the beginning of the episode and I want to reiterate it again as a really key point of this episode because it is so crucial who you surround yourself with
in 2025 is going to shape your entire timeline. It's going to shape your year. You have to
surround yourself with people that are inspiring you to be better and sometimes that means that
those people have to be more successful than sometimes that means that those people have
to be more successful than you in whatever aspect
you're trying to accomplish in life.
So for example, for me, with my brand, with my podcast,
what I'm trying to build, I'm trying to build my podcast
because it's my passion.
It's everything to me.
I live and breathe, date yourself instead, okay? I
can't be around people who don't see my vision. I need to be around people who
support my vision. So there have been some people in my past that I no longer
interact with on a consistent basis because I know that they weren't truly
happy for my successes. And it was hard and not easy to cut those people out.
And it's not like I cut them out in a savage, mean way,
but I distanced myself for very good reasons
because it is the year now moving into 2025
to protect my peace, my energy,
and to only surround myself with people
that make me feel more confident in my future and the vision that I have for my brand and what I'm building.
This is a mission, right? When you have a mission, you need to surround yourself with people who align with that mission.
If you are surrounding yourself with people, especially, I don't want to say men because I don't want to blame men because I know it goes both ways.
Anyone can be toxic.
But for me, I'm speaking from my experience, men, okay?
Any man that I dated took away from my mission.
In the past, any man that I was in a relationship with took away from my purpose on earth, which
is to help others.
Because when I was in toxic situations,
they would make me feel small,
make me feel like I wasn't enough,
and drag me through this up and down roller coaster dynamic.
And it would take away from my work, my drive, my ethic,
my self-esteem went to shit, and I couldn't focus.
And in 2025, a huge thing I'm taking away from my past
is you have to just truly be aware
of who you're allowing in your space in 2025.
That's the bottom line.
I could talk about this forever,
but just stop rushing into relationships
and start enjoying the getting to know you part of dating.
Get to know someone as a friend.
And I wanted to make an entirely separate episode
about this, but a huge component of this
is making someone your friend before your romantic partner.
Building a foundation of friendship
before the romantic part.
And that's what I'm trying to do moving into the new year.
Anyone that I've interacted with on a romantic level
or I've had some sort of romantic interest in,
anyone that I'm attracted to,
there's a firm boundary in place where I'm like,
yes, I'm attracted to you, I like you,
but I've done so much work on myself
and I've healed so deeply
that I'm not just gonna allow you
access to me romantically.
I need to really get to know you before that
because it didn't work for me.
The hundred other times I jumped into something romantically
and rushed it and floored it.
And it was really passionate and high energy
and intense in the beginning.
And it was really exciting in the beginning, of course,
like those butterflies and all that like dopamine.
And you're like, oh my God, I found the one.
I found this amazing person.
But at the end of the day,
I didn't really know that person well.
And that's where relationships go wrong later on,
because if you don't really know someone at their core
and you don't know their values
and what they stand for at their core
and who they truly, truly are,
and then you just jump into something,
it'll be like a crash and burn situation.
It's happened to many people that I know
and tons of you who have messaged me
about these types of situations,
but it's also happened to me.
And moving into the new year,
I am enjoying the process of getting to know people
in any aspect, just to see if they're really compatible
with me because I don't have time to waste.
I don't want to jump into another two year, three year,
four year relationship and then find out that this person
is not the person that I thought they were.
So for me, a huge thing is yes, slow down, take your time.
If it's the right person, if it's the right situation,
nothing is going to fuck it up.
If it's meant to be, it will be.
And just trusting that is the key this year.
Number three, this kind of ties into what I just said,
but leveling up your inner circle and
making sure that you're surrounding yourself with people that are going to uplift you and
inspire you to show up better in the world and inspire you and motivate you and push
you to be a better human being.
Also don't lock this idea in your head because I think there's this like narrative
about friendships as you get older.
Oh, it's so hard to make friends when you're in your 30s
or in your 40s or whatever.
You can make friends at any fucking age.
I don't understand this concept.
I've seen it been thrown around a lot like,
oh, it's so hard to make friends.
It's so hard to make friends when you're older
because everyone has their groups already
and circles and whatever.
That's not true.
I've literally met some of the most amazing people
over the last six months of my life,
and I'm almost 32 years old,
and it's actually the opposite.
I think the more you evolve and transform
and grow and up-level as a human being,
you're gonna naturally just start to attract new people into your circle because you are leveling up and changing as a human being, you're gonna naturally just start to attract new people
into your circle because you are leveling up and changing as a human being.
Now if you stay stuck in who you are in your past cycles and patterns and you don't change,
yes, of course, you're always gonna have the same situations and people and circumstances
surrounding you because you're not changing.
But if you are committed to changing, which I know you are because you listen to this podcast,
and this is all about self-development,
you are naturally going to attract new people
and new friends into your life.
Be open to new friendships.
Don't be afraid to put yourself out there
and meet new friends and meet new people.
It's okay to understand that sometimes
the best relationships actually do come later in life.
When we live in an abundant mindset, an expansive mindset, as I said,
you're open to all possibilities in life.
That's how you should be living your life in 2025.
Open to all possibilities, all new relationships, all new types of people.
Why are you limiting yourself to the two people that you knew from high school? Yes, could they be your friends for a lifetime? Of course, you could have many
different friends and many different friend groups. But don't close yourself off from
meeting new people. Just because you have one click doesn't mean you can't have five
more. For me, I've always been like a floater and I call I called myself a floater in high
school. I always had different
friend groups. I never was belonging to one specific group of people. I always made friends
from all different walks of life and it excites me. It excites me because I'm not limiting myself to
being in like a group, like one little group of people. I've always been the type of person who loves to move around and make friends
with all different types of people.
Now, are all these people my best friends
that I could go to in the worst of times?
No, most of them are acquaintances,
but it doesn't matter, it's human connection.
Human connection is what's most important.
Just having interactions, being friendly with people,
being open with people, exchanging ideas with people,
getting to know people,
even if it's surface level contact with people,
you're still building human connection
and you're still learning something along the way.
I've learned things from people
that are basically complete strangers
that maybe I'll never even see again,
but you always can get something out of human connection and human interactions.
So stop closing yourself off to this idea of, I'm never going to meet anyone else.
I'm never going to meet my person.
I'm never going to meet new friends.
I'm lonely.
I'm lonely.
I'm lonely.
I used to tell myself that, and I would always end up feeling stuck and isolated because I'd be
literally
Thinking myself into that reality because your thoughts once again dictate your reality. So when you live expansively
Which I try to do most of the time sometimes I'm not perfect
I go in a rabbit hole and I'm like, oh my god, I'm alone blah blah blah
But when you actually really at your core
live expansively and think expansively,
you will meet new people,
you will attract new situations into your life
and your life will just be so expansive
and good and better.
And you're always going to attract magic.
It's a really beautiful thing.
Number four is manifest with confidence.
Okay, this is how you manifest.
I've made many episodes on manifestation
and how I manifest, but manifestation is interesting
because it's almost like you have to expect it so much
that you don't even care about it.
That's the key to manifestation.
And in 2025, that's how we're living.
It's like this feeling of freedom and detachment from whatever it is that you want, but knowing
that it's coming, knowing at your core that it's coming.
So there's no need to stress about it.
There's no need to emphasize it.
There's no need to worry about it.
There's no need to harp on the details of how it's coming or when it's coming.
You just know that it's a given.
And when you work for something, when you move towards it with coming, you just know that it's a given. And when you work for something,
when you move towards it with confidence,
and when you expect it, that's when it comes.
Now, tying this into having faith and God and all of that,
He will deliver the manifestation in your perfect timing.
And I'll give you a recent example.
I don't know if I even want to share this example,
but it's a good example because it really works.
So I have this method in my Dare Detach Master Class
called the Miracle Notes Method.
And what I do is I will write down things I expect
or things I want or things I want to manifest
or things I want to manifest.
And I will write it in my notes on my phone
and let it go and just forget about it.
All right, done.
It's coming next.
It never fails.
Like it is such a foolproof way to manifest.
It literally works in days.
I've done this so many times.
There's more details about this method in the masterclass, dare to detach.
If you're interested, all the members
that have used this method, they'll message me
and be like, I literally manifested this overnight
using this method, it's crazy.
But for me, there was a situation
where I was dating someone over the summer,
recent situation that I've mentioned a few times
on the podcast, and I wrote in
my notes when all that shit was going down over the summer this person is
literally gonna regret fucking with me this person is going to come back and
regret what he did because at that time I was still kind of invested emotionally, and there was a piece
of me that really did want him to apologize and try to meet up with me and try to come
back, whatever.
And I wanted it to happen in the moment.
I wanted it to happen next day type of thing where I was like, I want him to regret this
immediately.
And nothing happened, okay?
He didn't come back.
Nothing really transpired between us.
After we ended, we ended.
I flew back to New York.
It was done.
And he had DMed me afterwards trying
to have casual conversation.
And I was the one to be like, goodbye.
Stop messaging me, because I don't
want to entertain something.
If you don't want this, there's no point in contact, right? And he was just trying to
like keep me there, which I didn't like. It was very manipulative. It was very wrong.
I was like, why are you messaging me reels of Harry Potter? This is so childish. And
it's embarrassing at this point. I don't want to interact with you. And I didn't really count that as like him coming back
or being regretful, you know what I mean?
So I was writing this in my notes,
hoping that he would change his mind.
And then a couple months went by, nothing happened,
never spoke to him again.
And I committed to healing on such deep levels
that I forgot to him again, and I committed to healing on such deep levels that I forgot about him.
I literally forgot that I even dated him.
It wasn't even a thought in my mind anymore.
I never thought about him.
I literally was like cringing at myself for even caring
as much as I did.
I think I was just in a really vulnerable moment
when I had met him, bottom line.
And I wasn't the best version of myself.
And I was really struggling with what happened
with a lot of other things.
And it was just a timing thing.
So after I took space from it and removed my energy from it
and detached and stopped giving a fuck
and really refocused my energy onto me
and how amazing I am and how powerful I am
and how much I have to offer the world.
I was like, why would I even have entertained that
in the first place?
Let's take a step back further than,
oh, I want him to come back.
I don't want him to ever message me again now
because I'm healed and I've evolved and I've changed
and I've matured.
And thank God this happened because it's taught me
so much about my self-worth.
So in two months, my whole brain changed,
like my brain chemistry literally changed
and what I was trying to manifest
didn't even matter anymore.
And then what happened?
What do you think happened?
He started messaging me, trying to meet up with me, asking me to hang out, asking to see me, liking my stories.
He came back.
Okay.
The point is, God was waiting to give me what I asked for
because he knew that I deserve better.
And if I had gotten it a couple months ago,
I would have caved in and went back.
I would have caved in and maybe entertain this person again
and allowed him back into my space.
And God was like, fuck that, absolutely not.
I'm not allowing you to settle for bullshit.
I'm not allowing you to settle for bullshit. I'm not allowing you
to settle for a child. Absolutely not. You're going to go do the healing work. You're going
to evolve as a woman. You're going to love yourself on such a deep level that when he does come back
and when I do allow that to happen, you will not ever go back. You're never going to entertain it and you're going to be like literally laughing at it because you deserve a man of God. You deserve a man that's going to worship the
ground that you walk on in a healthy way, right? That is why sometimes there are delays
with things that you want because God knows you deserve more and you are settling for
crap. You're settling for literal garbage.
And I'm really glad I just told that story because after I told it, I just realized I'm sure there's
so many people who are trying to manifest people back into their life right now, like listening to
the podcast. I know a lot of people, a lot of women, especially do this. But maybe it's being
blocked because you need to do the healing work. Maybe it's being blocked because God's like, listen, you deserve more out of life and you
need to work on yourself.
So actually, when you level up and you love yourself so deeply, you're not even going
to want that person anymore.
And when they do come back, you're going to be the one to say, no, thank you, I deserve
more.
So you could allow your soulmate to actually come into your life.
That's the beauty of really healing.
That's the beauty of really investing in yourself.
You don't want your ex back.
You don't want that back.
And that's also what my master class
stare to detach focuses on, right?
Detaching from that and leveling up
so you don't even want them back.
And they will come back
because they'll feel your energy has changed.
They'll feel you loving yourself more.
And then they feel that pull away from them
and they're like, oh shit, I need to get this person back.
I need to get her back.
Absolutely fucking not.
We're not doing that in 2025.
We're not going back to the past.
Rant over.
Okay, let's go. Number five, invest in you. fast. Rant over.
Okay, let's go.
Number five, invest in you.
Invest in your childhood hobbies again.
This is something that I'm doing more of is going back to my childhood hobbies and reliving
them because that's what makes me happy.
Do something that brought you joy as a child. For me, it was horseback riding, it was baking,
and it was singing, performing.
I used to do musical theater as a kid and I gave it up.
I used to sing opera when I was in high school.
I gave it up.
I used to horseback ride and do competitions.
I gave it up.
I used to literally do everything when I was a kid.
Like my parents, I was lucky enough that they allowed me
to engage in a lot of extracurricular activities
in school, they sent me to sleepaway camp.
I was very privileged and lucky to have a really,
really good childhood and I gave it all up.
I stopped doing things that excited me as a kid.
And as I've gotten older, I realized those things
are what is going to make me happy
and ignite my inner child and heal my inner child again.
Don't lose your childhood passions.
That is what is going to keep you going and excite you.
Even if it's once a month doing something
that you did as a child, painting, cooking,
dancing, singing, whatever it is.
For me, I'm getting back into singing this year. I'm getting back into acting. I want to act. I
want to write a book. I want to read more. I also, when I was in sleepaway camp, was a part of,
I had like a circus. This is so funny. This is actually low key hilarious, but there was a circus
part of my sleepaway camp and there were different things you could do. You could learn how to
walk on stilts. You could learn how to, I don't know, do acrobat, acrobatic shit. I
don't know. I don't really remember everything, but there was one thing that I did religiously
when I was there and it was flying the trapeze.
I know that is so random and you're probably like, what? What the fuck? But I
Remember just loving it, loving it, like being in the air and like flying trapeze and it's so random
And it's so funny because like why would me at 32 years old fly trapeze? But I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it in 2025.
I'm going to find somewhere to do it and do it.
Because it's just like igniting that inner child and igniting who I was when I was nine,
ten years old.
And that's such a beautiful thing.
And I feel like it'll literally heal me.
So that's what I'm doing in 2025.
Number six.
Okay. It kind of ties it all together. heal me, so that's what I'm doing in 2025. Number six.
Okay.
It kind of ties it all together. Just make your life fun.
Life is supposed to be fun.
Even if you aren't really happy where you're at right now,
and you're struggling and you don't really like your job,
and you don't really like certain aspects of your life,
or you're really unhappy in your relationship,
or you just went through a breakup or a loss, yes.
Grieve, go through the emotions
if you're currently struggling.
That's number one, of course.
It's human to go through lows
and it's human to not everything is always gonna be fun.
I get it.
But if you could go into this new year
with the intention that I'm going to turn my life around and make this the most fun year ever,
and you set that intention and you start making vision boards and you start writing down your manifestations and you start planning a routine for yourself to give yourself time to embrace your inner child and do fun things and cool shit.
If you plan it out now, your brain will start rewiring to attract those experiences.
So start planning it out now.
What do you wanna do this year?
Don't wait till the middle of the year.
Time flies really fucking fast, okay?
Don't wait to start manifesting
and creating the life you want for this year.
In my masterclass, the Mind, Body, Soul, Reset,
this is why the first step I tell everyone to do,
we're creating vision boards of 2025.
We're creating vision boards of the future
and what we want to accomplish.
Visualize what you want.
You need to be clear about it,
set the intention and make it fun.
Do whatever it is that is going to get you
out of bed in the morning and make you appreciate your life a little bit more. And fun could
mean something that is totally different from everyone's definition of fun. For you, it
might be something really special that no one else would find fun. Like for me, the
trapeze thing, right? People are like, what the hell are you talking about? But that is my idea of
fun. I'm going to be looking forward to that in the new year.
Like, I don't know where I'm going to do it. I don't know
when I'm going to do it. But it's just like a fun little goal
that I have set for myself. Oh, I'm getting back into trap
trapeze. I'm like laughing about it. Because I'm like, am I
actually going to do that? But no, really create a new thing
for yourself, like a new thing for yourself.
Like a new habit, something.
It could be very small or it could be medium size or big,
a big goal, but create some small new thing for yourself
and make it fun.
It could also be teaching yourself something new.
Teach yourself how to sew, teach yourself how to paint,
teach yourself how to draw, I don't know.
Teach yourself something.
Make your life a little more exciting,
shake it up, do something different.
It could be anything you want,
but you have to set the intention.
Number seven, this is actually really important
and I don't really talk about it that much on my podcast.
I don't know if I've ever talked about it,
but just organizing your finances. Now I know that's kind of like random, but it's really not random.
It's something I've actually been thinking about more moving into 2025 because financial freedom
is really rewarding and it makes you honestly, I don't know why people say money doesn't make you happy.
I do agree that it's not fulfilling your soul, right?
Money does not fulfill your soul, okay?
At the end of the day, money isn't going to make you
a better person or make you ultimately happier.
But it does make things so much easier
when you are financially stable.
It makes life a lot easier, okay?
We live in a physical world where money does matter.
You need to get by, like you need money to exist.
You need money to live on this physical planet.
It's important, right?
So when people say money doesn't make you happy, yeah,
I guess it doesn't make you fulfilled, right? It doesn't make you genuinely fulfilled at your soul's
desires and like at your core, but it does make life easier. We got to be real here. It makes life
easier. When I was broke, I was like really not happy. I was really struggling. When I had no
money, I was like asking my parents for money a couple years ago and not able to pay my rent and
I was so depressed. I just felt like lost and I couldn't afford things that I wanted
to afford. And it causes a lot of stress in the body, in the mind, because you're like,
how am I going to do anything? I can't do basic things because I don't have money. So number seven, securing financial freedom is really important.
And this starts with clearing your mind and resetting your mind and resetting your subconscious
to believe that you are capable of attracting abundance and wealth.
When you are struggling financially, the common thought, and this is something that I struggled
with when I was broke,
and it was literally like, how am I going to get myself out of this?
Like, I have no money, I have no money, I'm poor, like I'm broke, how am I going to get myself out of this?
And you could beat yourself up in your head about it and be really depressed about it,
and it's really easy to fall in that rabbit hole, and then it often makes things worse,
and then you lose even more money, and then you have makes things worse, and then you lose even more money,
and then you have to pay taxes,
and then you have to pay bills,
and everything just adds up
and starts multiplying in a negative way,
and it's so overwhelming and so stressful.
And what I learned in order to reverse everything
and to create abundance and create a new life for myself
and become financially successful
is literally I had to reprogram my brain entirely.
I had to wake up putting myself in a new identity of abundance being like, okay, wake up in
the morning instead of thinking about how I have no money, I'm going to think I'm attracting
$100,000.
I'm literally receiving $100,000 and I'm going to do whatever it takes to get there.
But it's coming.
It's coming.
The money is coming.
I'm abundant.
I'm wealthy.
I would literally write down in a journal every single day,
this is the amount of money that I'm making.
This is the amount of money that I'm attracting.
It's coming.
It's happening for me.
And I also included EFT in my routine,
which is emotional freedom technique,
and it's tapping on different acupressure points.
You could find videos for this on YouTube.
I use Brad Yates YouTube videos, they've been super helpful.
And he has a lot of videos
on financial abundance and freedom,
and you can tap on your money wounds.
Like you can literally reprogram your brain
and say, I am attracting more money.
I am attracting more money.
I am attracting more abundance.
And tap on different points of your body
and say it out loud over and over again
until your subconscious is literally absorbing it
and believing it to be true.
And then you will see miracles will start to happen.
New ideas will start to form in your mind
where you could think of new creative business ideas.
You can get a little boost of motivation
around your finances and be like,
okay, here's what I have to do, here are the next steps.
And it'll make you more motivated.
And then your motivation and your inspiration
will lead to new ideas, which leads to more abundance.
And you will attract money
when your head and your energy is in a better mental state
and you're in a better mental state.
So just focusing on this idea of I am abundant,
I am prosperous, I am wealthy, I am abundant,
I have everything I need.
Instead of focusing on the negatives
and focusing on your current reality,
you have to literally live and breathe
the reality of someone who's living in wealth.
That's how I got to where I am today.
And I have way bigger financial goals,
but I got myself out of the hole of being broke
by reprogramming my mind.
It's a huge game changer.
So number eight, detox your mind, body, and soul.
And this is also why I created the Mind, Body, Soul masterclass, Mind, Body, Soul Reset Masterclass.
Because if you aren't mastering your mind, body, and soul, and those three things aren't in balance,
your whole life is going to be out of whack.
If you don't take care of your mental health
and your physical health and your spiritual health
and you don't have a balance between the three,
your life will always be imbalanced and out of whack.
It is so important to balance the three of these things.
And that's why I created the course,
because it focuses on this,
and it goes into way more detail on this.
I also highly recommend the book,
The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.
It's a really good one.
It talks about this a lot, the mind, body, soul
and how you need to master these three things
in order to achieve success in life.
And you can't do life
if you are mentally not in a good place.
If you're depressed and you have all this money in the world, it doesn't fucking matter.
If you are the most successful lawyer, entrepreneur in the world, or millionaire, whatever it
is, and you aren't in good spiritual health and you're depressed because you have no sense
of faith and you have no sense of direction with God or whatever it is, you will still
be miserable.
Your life will still be out of balance.
If you are very
financially successful and you have everything you want in your career, but you don't take
care of your physical health and you come down with a terminal illness, what does any
of the other shit matter? You know what I mean? If you are a multimillionaire and you
have stage four cancer, which God forbid, but this happens, this really happens, what
does it fucking matter? You could have all the money in the world,
but if your physical health isn't in check,
none of that matters.
And it really puts things into perspective
that your health is literally the most important thing,
and then everything else will follow.
And that's what the mind, body, soul reset is really about.
And definitely recommend that book,
definitely recommend my masterclass.
If you haven't downloaded it already,
you can find the link in the show notes as I mentioned earlier.
Number nine, be bold. Be bolder in 2025. Don't be afraid to speak up, to approach a stranger,
to compliment a stranger, to meet new people, as I said, to take risks to the unknown, to say yes
more to opportunities. If you're on the fence about it, but you want to change up and spice up your life, be bold
and do things out of your comfort zone.
Do things you wouldn't normally do.
Say yes to things you wouldn't normally say yes to.
This is the year where we are, as I said, redeeming ourselves and changing who we are.
Changing who we are.
Stepping out of our comfort zone, stepping out of this comfortable territory and moving
into the unfamiliar because life is short
and we need to embrace that and appreciate that
and understand that you don't wanna live with regret.
You don't wanna live with regret.
You don't wanna be 85 years old and sitting
and looking back on your life and saying,
oh, I should have done that.
I should have taken that risk.
I should have jumped into that opportunity
and taken that risk and taken that leap of faith,
and I didn't.
That would be the worst thing in the world.
My biggest fear is not capitalizing on opportunity
when I'm able to, right?
If I have an opportunity to do something that excites me
that could potentially make me happy and I don't do it,
it's like my worst nightmare to not do it,
to not take that risk, to look back on my life
and be like, oh, shit, I should have done that.
For example, with traveling, people ask me,
how do you solo travel?
Aren't you afraid?
Aren't you this?
Are you that?
Well, I do my research.
Number one, I have episodes on this.
I do my research, OK?
I never will put myself in a situation where I feel unsafe.
I always make sure I'm in places that I feel comfortable.
And I ask people, I ask people for advice, I do my research online, XYZ you get it.
But like with solo travel and taking myself to dinner and romanticizing my life and taking
long walks by myself and doing things that inspire me alone, I do it because I understand
how valuable my life is. And I don't want to look back when I'm old and say, oh, I do it because I understand how valuable my life is.
And I don't want to look back when I'm old and say, oh, I should have done all these
things and I didn't.
I know that I've lived out my life the way that I want to live it.
And I know that I've taken risks and I've failed in love.
I guess you could call it failed.
I don't really see it as a failure, but I've taken risks in love and I've opened my heart
up to new things.
And even though a lot of those things were painful or traumatic,
it's shaped who I am today and I don't regret any of it.
And it's built my character and it's made me the woman I am today.
So just be bold.
Open your heart up.
Take leaps of faith in life.
And number 10, celebrate yourself more.
Compliment yourself more. Compliment yourself more.
Look at yourself in the mirror and appreciate how amazing you are and how beautiful you are.
Appreciate your beauty.
Stop talking down about yourself.
Stop beating yourself up all the time.
Stop talking negatively about who you are.
Words matter.
Thoughts matter.
I can't reiterate it enough.
Your thoughts and what you tell
yourself matter about yourself. You have to have unwavering confidence in who you
are and what you look like. You are beautiful, you are incredible, you are
worthy of everything you ever wanted in life and believe that. And when you start
to truly believe that, everything else around you will reflect that. When you
love yourself deeply,
the world will also love you back.
People will start to respect you and appreciate you more.
People will start to love you and value you more
when you truly love and value yourself.
So celebrate yourself.
Celebrate how incredible you are in 2025.
Don't talk badly about yourself.
Don't criticize yourself.
Wake up every day and say, I'm fucking amazing.
I'm the best.
Normalize being obsessed with yourself.
Like, why have we normalized being negative
about ourselves?
Why are we normalized talking badly about ourselves
and saying, oh, we look like shit,
or, oh, we look like shit or oh,
we're drunk mess and we can't get our shit together.
Oh, I look like,
I was going to say I look like Shrek.
I don't know why that just came to mind.
We have normalized beating ourselves down all the time.
Why not normalize being obsessed with
ourselves and just saying, I'm amazing.
I'm literally amazing.
The more you tell yourself that, and it might be hard to believe it now if you're currently insecure, and just saying, I'm amazing. I'm literally amazing.
The more you tell yourself that,
and it might be hard to believe it now
if you're currently insecure, you feel like self doubt,
but the more you really, really tell yourself that
every single day, you start to believe it
because your subconscious will believe what you tell it.
So make this a habit moving into the new year,
write it down every single day when you wake up,
I'm amazing, I'm the best, I'm beautiful, I'm successful, I'm wealthy, I'm abundant. I'm going to get everything
I want out of this fucking life and 2025 is going to be my year. And with that being said,
that concludes today's episode of Date Yourself Instead. Thank you so much for listening to the
podcast. As always, I am so excited for this year. It's going to be the best year ever. I'm calling it right now. I love you. Thank you as always for messaging
me about the podcast, for supporting it, for sharing it on Instagram, on your
stories, for sending me DMs. You guys are amazing. You guys are the best. Feel free
to leave a comment on Spotify and rate the podcast on Apple and Spotify and
like it on YouTube if you haven't already. And also be sure to check out my masterclasses, Dare to Detach and the Mind, Body, Soul, Reset.
Cannot wait to see you there. I love you. I love you. I love you. Thank you as always.
And stay tuned for next Monday.