Date Yourself Instead - Born to be an angel, forced to be a warrior - a reminder of how powerful you are

Episode Date: March 30, 2025

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How to become an emotional and spiritual warrior. Someone that no one can mess with. Someone that is so confident and so grounded and so in their power that the negative people, the pessimistic people, the people that aren't meant for you, and the toxic people that are not supposed to be in your life will literally be repelled and drawn out of your life immediately. When you step into your power,

when you become an emotional warrior, you become so sure of yourself and so sure of your power and how fucking incredible you are, you will repel anyone that's not supposed to be in your life. You will take your power back and take your precious energy back from anyone who has tried to drain it, from anyone who has tried to take that power. How do you become a warrior? Since I'm young I always felt like I had to protect myself and I always had to protect my peace and my energy because I knew I was different. I knew I was born different. I really truly believe that we as people are born with certain missions and certain destinies and we're born with a certain purpose. I

knew my purpose was not like the rest. I knew my purpose was different. I was here to create something impactful and if you're watching this right now I know you're probably feeling the same about yourself. I know you were born to do something amazing. I know you were born to do something great because if you found me and you're listening to this right now and you want to become that warrior version of you, you are communicating to your higher self right now. You are communicating to your higher self that I want to make a change. I want to make an impact.

I know I was destined for greatness. I know I am destined for incredible things in this lifetime. I know I'm here to leave a mark on the world. You know that you were born to be different. And sometimes when we allow the wrong people in our life, when we allow situations to overwhelm us and overtake our life, when we go through hardship, when we go through challenges, we actually allow those situations and people to drain our power. We don't feel like a warrior in those situations

when we're going through a bad breakup and someone abandons us and someone leaves us or tells us we're not lovable. Or when we lose our job and we feel like we've tied our financial success and everything we've built to our career and we lose that, it can be a shot to the as extreme as losing a loved one, or it can be dealing with health issues, or it could be going through a bad breakup, whatever your situation is, it can drain you and make you feel like you're not a warrior. But the truth is, that person is always living within you. That person never leaves you. That person is always inside of you because you were born that way. That is who you are. You are a warrior. And when you tell yourself that and you remind yourself of your power all the time,

even in the hard times, that's when you start to build up your strength again. That's when you actually start to believe in yourself again because you are actually affirming that you are this person. And when you believe you are a certain person, you are. When you create a new identity for yourself and you say, I am the most confident person in the room, I am the most powerful person I know,

I am going to be the most successful person in the world, I am going to achieve whatever it is I'm trying to achieve out of my life. When you affirm, I am, you become it. That is you. You are a warrior. So don't let the hard times don't let the toxic people don't let your toxic fucking ex who doesn't see your worth Define who you are. Are you really gonna allow someone that's separate from you? That's external from you that isn't you to tell you and define you and make you feel shitty about yourself and make you

Question who you fucking are. You are a warrior. I'm here to remind you of this but I want you to be able to remind yourself of this every day. If you tend to go on your phone when you wake up, if you tend to start scrolling when you wake up, if you tend to go to the worst-case scenarios in your head when you wake up, if you tend to replay the past when you wake up, the first thing I want you to start doing when you open your eyes is to remind yourself of your power. Wake up and say, I am unstoppable today. I'm going to have the most incredible day. I am unstoppable today. I am a magnetic force. I am a warrior. I am going to take on this day no matter what

is thrown my way. I am going to get through it. I am going to power through this day. And I know even if I'm going through hard times, even if I'm going to get through it. I am going to power through this day and I know even if I'm going through hard times Even if I'm going through struggles my time is coming for success My time is coming to be great again My time is coming where I am going to be the most powerful happy successful Confident version of me even if it doesn't feel that way in the very moment. We all go through hard shit We all go through troubles. We all go through challenges. I moment. We all go through hard shit. We all go through troubles. We all go through challenges. I went through a two and a half year depression when I was with my ex. I've spoken about this

on many episodes. I went through the worst few years of my life dating a narcissist, dating someone who drained my power, who made me feel unworthy, who always tried to one up me, who always made me feel small next to him. I always felt like I was powerless next to this human being for years and it made me feel shitty about myself. I woke up every day thinking the worst. I woke up every day thinking my life sucks because I feel like I have nothing going for me anymore. I wasn't working anymore. I lost my purpose. I wasn't motivated. I lost that fire within me. When you start to lose that fire within you and that spark within you,

the world looks dark. The world looks hopeless. It looks like nothing will ever get better. And I get it because I've been there. I've been through long periods of time in my life where I've struggled with my mental health. Even yesterday, I'm going to use it as a key example in this episode because it was life-changing.

I had an epiphany in awakening yesterday after going through a really hard day It's that time of the month for me and I get a little moody I feel very heavy during that time of the month and it's just hormones. It is what it is I've learned how to cope with those moods and those feelings to a whole other level now because I know What actions to take in order to pull myself out of depression, in order to pull myself out of anxiety or feeling those dark thoughts. I was having a really bad day. It felt like nothing was going right. I felt really sluggish and tired, like super fatigued. I had no motivation. Usually I'm up going to the beach, going for walks, doing things. I'm usually meeting friends. I'm usually out and about socializing

here. I'm usually doing something to keep my body in movement and to keep my brain active or I'll work or I'll do something that's going to Give me momentum and keep me going for the full day. I like to have a full schedule But yesterday I was rotting in bed, which is totally fine and totally normal But I know that my life is precious and every day I'm technically healthy matters to me now. Time matters to me more than ever now and I was like I know I want to rot in bed all day. I know I really want to do that and at times it's

okay sometimes we need that sometimes we need rest but I decided to take a different approach this time and I said you what? I'm going to give myself an extra hour to sleep and just chill and I won't be so hard on myself. And then I'm going to make a switch and make a change, make a change to the routine and do something that's going to shock me out of this mental state that I was in because part of the sadness that I was feeling yesterday came from a dream

I had the night before and the dream was that I was back together with my ex. It's taken me so much to heal and to process things and I'm still processing things and last night I had a dream I was back together with him which I don't even want to say out loud but here we are I'm just being real. That's what happened I'm sure you guys have experienced this before where I don't even want to say out loud, but here we are. I'm just being real. That's what happened. I'm sure you guys have experienced this before where you don't want to dream about someone or something, but you do. And then it kind of affects your mental state when you wake up. It almost felt real.

So I was like, Oh my God, I was in such a day as, and I just wasn't feeling well. I also just felt like physically wiped out. So it was really interesting. I was like, all of this is connected, this dream, the energy I was feeling, it almost felt like his presence was with me and it was kind of like freaking me out. So I had to force myself to go downstairs, chug some water, then force myself to go to take an ice bath. I knew I needed to do something to shock my brain because if you don't change something, if you don't shock your system, if you don't try to do something to get yourself out of this mental state, you

can spiral, you can go down a rabbit hole for the next three days of everything that went wrong, of replaying your past, of being sad and depressed. And I just can't allow myself at this stage of my life to allow that to happen again. I was like, this man has done enough to me. He had enough of my energy. He had enough of my tears. I am not allowing myself to spiral into this rabbit hole of my ex-boyfriend. I into this rabbit hole of my ex-boyfriend. I forced myself to go take an ice bath, okay? And you could also do this with a cold shower or somewhere where you can access freezing cold water.

I recommend taking an ice cold shower or filling your bath with ice cold water and ice or going to a place where you have access to an ice bath, okay? Fortunately enough, there was an ice bath place near where I was sitting and I was like, you know what? I'm going to walk to this place and take an ice bath. And I really did not want to.

I hate doing things that I don't want to do in the moment. I think short term a lot of the time and I think emotionally and I'm like, you know what? I really don't want to do this and I just want to sit here and sulk. But then again, I was like, why am I going to let those thoughts win? Why am I going to let those negative thought patterns win?

Where has that ever gotten me in my life? Has that made me feel better to just sulk and just sit in my negative thoughts and sit in this dark cloud of depression? Has that ever helped me or benefited me? No. What happens if you continue to do that? You'll continue to

attract more and more negativity and darkness. I know this because I've been through it. I allowed myself to do that for two and a half years. I allowed myself to sit in my depression for years. So I know what it's like to do that and it never benefited me. It never got me anywhere. I was unproductive. I became lazy. I was bedridden all the time. I didn't want to socialize I didn't want to communicate with other people. I had no drive. I had no goals. I had no purpose I had nothing because I allowed those negative thoughts to win I allowed my depression to win whenever I start to get in the rabbit hole of going in a funk and it can really overwhelm you

And overpower you it could literally overpower The positivity and that light side of you because it is very powerful energy now I say I'm not letting you win. I literally told myself in my head. I am NOT letting you win I am NOT letting this darkness win and overpower the light inside of me I am NOT allowing my depression and these temporary thoughts to make me spiral and to make me Think that everything sucks and the world is dark and my ex ruined my life. No, that is not happening again. I've done that before. It doesn't work. It doesn't work. It does not benefit the future version

of me. So after telling myself over and over again, I'm not allowing you to win. Talking to my thoughts, I'm not allowing you to win. Miracles are happening for me. I kept saying this out loud as I was walking to the ice bath miracles are happening for me Miracles are happening for me. I'm not allowing you to win Try it try this method if you are starting to think negatively if you're starting to spiral if you're starting to think these Depressing thoughts that are dragging you down and making you feel like the world is ending You feel like you don't want to talk to anyone and you want to isolate. Reframing it, fight it, fight against it, become a warrior.

That's how you become a warrior. When you fight against it, you say, I'm not allowing this to take over. I'm not allowing it. I'm strong. I'm my own hero. I'm coming to rescue myself. I am a warrior. That's how you do it.

It's reframing your thoughts and shocking your system. So sorry, keep going off tangent, but back to the ice bath. I go into the spa, I jump in the ice bath and I kept saying, I'm not letting you win. Miracles are happening for me. Lo and behold, this gorgeous man that looked like an action figure. He was really attractive. I was like, whoa, like I kind of got like, I wasn't nervous, but I was like, okay. He comes over to me and he's like, excuse me, you're not allowed to be on your phone.

And I was on my phone taking pictures of me in the ice bath, typical me. I was just trying to get my brain out of the funk. And between jumping in an ice bath and taking some hot selfies, it does wonders. It's an amazing formula. Try it out. I promise you, once you shock your brain

and start distracting yourself with things that make you feel more confident and good when you're going through a hard time, that is the key to becoming a warrior. You're pulling yourself out of that mental state of darkness. You're pulling yourself away from fear and from depression and from anxiety and from those thoughts that say you're nothing. You're pulling yourself away from fear and from depression and from anxiety

and from those thoughts that say you're nothing, you're a failure. I can't believe you dated that guy for so long. I can't believe you allowed him to abuse you for so long. Change the narrative in your mind. That is what being a warrior is all about. So taking pictures, he's like, yeah, you can't be on your phone.

I just like looked up and like looked into his eyes and I was like, damn, this can't be on your phone. I just like looked up and like looked into his eyes and I was like, damn, this guy is, he's good. He's a good talker, very handsome. I'm not in an era to date or pursue anyone right now. I'm not pursuing, but just entertain anyone. That moment of him even hitting on me, flirting with me, even though I may never see him again, it just felt good because I may never see him again. It just felt

good because I flipped my reality so fast. I was able to change my reality, my environment, and my thought pattern so fast because I chose to fight. I chose to fight against the darkness. Literally 30 minutes prior to that, prior to me you know having a great time in an ice bath and meeting the hottest guy I've seen here so far It was just this shock to my system that made me realize that everything is in the power of your mind Everything is in the power of your thoughts and how you're thinking and how you're feeling in your body It's all about energy shifting when you learn how to master Shifting your energy and you learn how to master your mind, you become a warrior. You become fucking unstoppable. You become your own superhero. And it was really symbolic because this man literally looked like a superhero

approaching me. And I'm like, yeah, like you are a representation of what happened. It was a very symbolic moment. I promised myself I'm not going to share any of my dating life or anything on the podcast that's like super personal unless me and that person are getting serious because you've seen what happens in the past. You've seen what happened in the past with the last guy I posted about and he just love-bombed me and kicked me to the curb. So I'm like I'm not entertaining anyone. One, I have very strong boundaries in place when it comes to dating and being romantically

involved with someone. And two, I'm not going to speak too much on the men I interact with or have interacted with until I'm 100% sure that it's the real thing because I'm done going through all of these like up and down rollercoasters with people. I'm literally just creating a new brand for myself which is really dating myself like really fully committing to myself. So I will update you if there is

anything serious going on with anyone but this was just more of a moment where I was like oh I can change my reality in seconds through the power of my mind because I chose to do it. And it was not easy. It felt like a battle in my head. I didn't want to go take an ice bath. I hate ice bath. I hate being uncomfortable.

I hate it. But all of the most amazing moments of my life and all of the most life-changing significant moments of my life have literally happened when I forced myself out of my comfort zone, when I literally forced myself to make a change when I didn't want to. You have to force yourself out of your comfort zone and out of your current mind state

as hard as it may seem, as impossible as it may feel on the other side of you forcing yourself out of your comfort zone and out of those negative thought patterns is your reward something fun something exciting something new something great is waiting for you on the other side of your comfort bubble because it's so easy to go down the other path. It's so easy to get lost in negative thoughts and be like, oh, you know, I'm just going to sit here and have a shitty day. I don't agree with that anymore.

Yes, I do believe we're human and one bad day is fine. Two bad days, fine. Three bad days, fine. I understand there are certain exceptions to this. Like if a family member passed or a loved one passed or something related to death or health or something really extreme, yes, it's human to feel emotions and sadness,

really bad breakup, really bad divorce. Yes, I get it. You should grieve and you should be sad because that's human. That's the human experience. But if you are someone right now that just tends to go to the negative on a daily basis, and there's nothing really wrong,

but you're just always thinking of the negative, worst case scenarios, and you're thinking of the past all the time, even though it happened years ago, this is your episode. This is the episode for those people. I'm not talking about extreme cases where you're fresh out of a breakup

and it happened yesterday, and I'm telling you to get over it and move on. You know how much I believe in feeling it to heal it and you know, going through the raw emotions and going through the ups and downs of life because that's what builds your character. But there's a difference between that and then someone who's just always thinking the worst case scenarios and always anxious and depressed on a daily basis because they're just thinking of the worst case scenarios.

When you're thinking just negative thoughts, because that's just the pattern and cycle that you've been in for so long and you've normalized it. You're like, oh yeah, everything sucks. And that's just your narrative. You have to change the narrative, especially here. I've heard so many people come up to me. There's a lot of people here that follow the podcast.

They're like, oh, dating sucks in Bali. Dating's the worst in Bali. Dating's terrible here. There's no hope of people here that follow the podcast. They're like, oh, dating sucks in Bali. Dating's the worst in Bali. Dating's terrible here. There's no hope for any of us. No, no, no, stop, stop. You cannot have that narrative playing over and over in your mind because your subconscious will absorb that information and attract more of it.

And then you'll keep seeing evidence of it, show up that dating sucks and people suck. You're gonna attract terrible people into your life because you believe that it sucks. You have to change the narrative. You have to change the thought process that goes through your head. If you don't, you will continue to attract negativity.

You will continue to attract toxic cycles and patterns and darkness. Stop feeding into the darkness, feed into the light. The light is there. The light and darkness both exist. One can't exist without the other, right? But which are you gonna choose? Which are you going to choose?

Are you going to submerge yourself in the darkness and be depressed all the time and hate your life all the time? Or are you going to take a step into the light and tell your life all the time? Or are you going to take a step into the light and tell the darkness to get the fuck away, get the fuck out, get the fuck out. Out of here. You're done. You've taken too many years of my life. That's what I told myself yesterday because I was really going through it. Instead of dwelling in it, I took a different approach.

I said, you're not gonna have power over me. You are not going to have that power over me anymore. I know how powerful you are, but I'm more powerful. I'm a warrior. I don't wanna feed into the bullshit. I'm not feeding into the darkness anymore. Yes, sometimes we need to go through lows, but why not reverse it?

When we start to feel shitty, why not take the action to reverse it? Say, no, I'm not allowing this one moment in time to ruin the rest of my day. I'm not allowing these emotions to ruin the rest of my day. Absolutely not. I deserve to feel good. I deserve to feel happy. I deserve to feel happy.

I deserve to feel like a warrior because I am a warrior and I'll fight against the darkness because I deserve a life of abundance, of happiness, and of light. Bottom line, I'm a good person with a good heart and a good soul and I have a mission and I'm not going to allow fear and all this negative bullshit and energy to overpower how fucking incredible I am. We are warriors. This is how you become a warrior. You don't let the other side win. You take back your power, you take back the reins of your life, and you don't allow your sadness to define you.

You don't allow the hard times to dictate who you are, And you don't allow anyone else to dictate who you are. You don't allow the person that abandoned you to dictate your value or your worth. You trust that God has a divine plan and that everything happens for a reason. Everything you're going through is going to build you and make you stronger and make you more of a hero of your own life.

I feel like a hero of my own life, of the circumstances that I went through. The circumstances that I went through over the last year, you guys wouldn't even know what I uncovered about my last relationship. You wouldn't even be able to process or wrap your head around the man that I was dating. This is how you redeem yourself by saying, I don't give a fuck what happened to me.'m not gonna replay the past anymore I'm not going to dwell in the misery that I went through of the hard times that I've been through I'm just going to use all of that as experience to fuel me to strengthen me to empower me and to make me a fucking hero I'm going to use this for good I'm going to alchemize this

energy that weighed me down and that broke me and I'm gonna alchemize the energy and use it to fuel me now. I'm a phoenix rising from the ashes. I'm going to use this energy to fuel me. That is what being a warrior is all about. Born to be a lover girl and forced to be a warrior, it is what it is and with that being said that concludes today's episode. I know this is a little shorter than usual but it's about the message. I hope that could help anyone today that is going through a hard time, a difficult time, a challenging time. I'm with you. I'm here for you. I'm always here to support you and love you and send you all my healing energy and love. As usual, thank you so much for listening to Date Yourself instead.

If you haven't already, be sure to check out my masterclasses, mind body soul reset, which is all about resetting your soul and manifesting on high speed to attract everything you've ever wanted out of life. And also be sure to check out dare to detach, which is about letting go of your toxic cycles and exes and your past relationships so you could level up and really move on with your life. Both of those master classes combined are the most elite combination to become unstoppable, to literally become a warrior and become the greatest version of you. And I cannot wait for you guys to join. The link is in the show notes as well as on my Instagram at date yourself

instead. Be sure to rate the podcast on Apple and Spotify and like it on YouTube and subscribe if you haven't already. The YouTube channel is pretty new and I'm super excited about it. We're posting so many videos, so much more video content is coming in 2025. I cannot wait for that. I love you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you as always and stay tuned for next Monday.