Date Yourself Instead - He's just not that into you

Episode Date: August 21, 2023

Signs that he's just not that into you. He's being hot and cold. Flaky with plans. Distant. A bad texter. Says he doesn't know where he stands or what he wants. In this episode, I dish the hard truth and the signs of when someone is just not...that interested.

There was a girl that messaged me and she was telling me this entire saga of how this guy she used to date was stringing her long and playing with her feelings. Basically, they were dating for a while and then they broke up and he started going hot and cold on her. I believe they were dating for about three years. So it was a very serious relationship

and then they broke up and he said he needed time to work on himself and he was going through a depression and he needed space from the relationship. But then he continued to talk to her, he continued to hang out with her, he was driving to her every weekend and he was still seeing her and talking to her but then he would pull back again and distance himself and say he didn't want to be in a serious relationship and he couldn't fully commit. And they had this on and off hot and cold cycle for a pretty long time. But the just was he said he needed to work on himself and he couldn't be in a serious

relationship because he was just dealing with a lot. There was another follower of mine who recently messaged me on Instagram and was telling me how a guy she was seeing for two months had issues with his mom. And in the middle of a dinner, he got up and left during a date, sped off into his car and basically cut the entire relationship off right then and there. And he said it was his family stressing him out and he had issues with his mother. And he needed space because he couldn't think clearly and he just couldn't give her the proper energy and time because of what was going on in his life.

And she messaged me and she's like, what do I do? I'm a little bit confused. I don't really know where I stand with this person. And we were together for a couple of months and I thought it was going really well and everything seemed fine and all of a sudden he pulled the rug and said he is mommy issues. And I'm like, yeah, that's pretty weird. Why would his mom play into him dating you? It doesn't make any sense. Another girl messaged me and told me her husband left her for someone else and she was absolutely devastated and blindsided and she had to move across the country to start a new chapter of her life and to heal. And now

of course what happens, he wants her back. And she's messaging me saying, do I give it another chance? Do I forgive him? And he's begging and pleading and trying to do whatever he can to fix what he broke. And from my perspective, if I was going through something similar, the best piece of advice I would give in that situation is you've come so far, you moved across the country, you're ready for a new chapter of your life. Don't get pulled back into something if you think the cycle will just repeat itself,

which oftentimes it does. If people aren't willing to do their inner work on a super deep level and fundamentally change pieces of themselves to make a relationship work, it's usually just going to repeat itself. And the same problems are going to come up again and again. So I brought these three individual situations up because they all have one big thing in common. There's massive uncertainty, and there's no clarity. And the uncertainty of a relationship will make you feel absolutely feral and insane and crazy, and maybe feel like you did something wrong, and maybe you should just wait around and see, or maybe you should just settle because

this person you've invested so much energy and time into and you've built such a long relationship with this person that you just don't want to start over. But if there is massive uncertainty lingering over the relationship at all fucking times, and you're always unclear of the direction, and you're really not sure where you stand with this person. These are clear signs from my perspective, in my opinion, to tell you that you deserve better. You deserve so much more than what you're receiving. And when you start feeling that wavering back and forth anxiety, which I've mentioned in my how to know if they're the right or wrong person episode. And when you start to question if you actually deserve more, 99% of the time you usually do.

So on today's episode, I am going to be curating a list of signs and signals that someone that you're seeing may just not be that into or the relationship just might not be right in general. And I'm going to dive a little bit deeper into some of these, but some of them I'm just going to list out because I think they're pretty straightforward and self-explanatory. Number one, he rarely initiates contact or conversations with you or takes a really long time to respond to your messages and calls. Now, for this particular thing, I believe that everyone has a life, right? Everyone's busy. Everyone has a job. People are working. People have friends, people have family commitments, and extracurricular activities. We all have schedules, but if you really, really care for someone and you want them as a part of your life and you can see them as a life partner, someone that's going to stand by your side and sleep with you in bed every night, the least you could do is answer

their texts and calls. It's really not that difficult. Obviously, in the early stages of dating, this can depend. A lot of people aren't sure where they stand. They're not willing to invest too much because they're trying to take things slow. A lot of men often have a lot of stuff going on prior to meeting someone they could see the rest of their lives with. And it goes the same for women as well. So, in the early stages of dating, it's normal for there to be a little bit of distance between communication and not always getting back to someone the second they send a text.

Totally valid. However, if you've been seeing someone for a few months, for a year or more, and they don't know how to properly communicate or respond in a reasonable amount of time. It's usually not the best indicator that someone is highly invested in you. There obviously needs to be some form of balance when it comes to communication. And this doesn't mean the person you're seeing or the person you're involved with should

be blowing up your phone 24-7 and not having a life. But there should be a balance. If you're getting constantly anxious and stressed out because you've sent a text to someone and they haven't responded for 15 hours and then they get back to you and say, oh, sorry, I just saw this or oh, sorry, I was working late. It's usually not a good sign. And in the past, I've excused this behavior often. In the past, I've said, you know what?

Everyone has a life. They're super busy. I have a job too. I have things going on as well. However, if it's a few months into something and someone is still acting like that, they're probably not that interested in you. And I've learned this from my own dating experiences, sending texts and not getting a reply for 24 hours. And someone says, Oh, you know, I was really busy.

I was up late working. I don't really use my phone. I'm a horrible textur. You've heard it all. We've heard it all. And then I find out that they were out with the boys at a bar, picked up some girls, followed five girls, when they were out and then blamed it on a crazy work schedule and, oh, I'm not on my phone, I mean, come on. So you have to also have a really good judgment of character and intuition and trust yourself. Obviously, when you go into the dating scene or obviously when you're together with someone, a lot of it comes down to trusting yourself, reading the other person and understanding how they communicate. But it's such a big thing and it's such a valid thing to want that type of dynamic with

someone where you could just text them and you know they're going to reply. You know they're going to respond to you. And you have that sense of comfort and ease with that person because your partner at the end of the day should feel like your best friend. It should feel like someone you can go to for anything and know that they're going to reply the same way that your best friend actually would. It shouldn't be that you're walking on eggshells and you're afraid to send the wrong message because it's going to rub them the wrong way and they're going to pull back and run away from you.

Or, you know, you're afraid to express how you truly feel because you don't want to ruin the dynamic. If truly expressing your truth and how you feel as a person is going to ruin the dynamic, that's not the right person. Number two, he cancels plans with you frequently or makes excuses not to hang out. Now, this is a big one because, as I just mentioned, if someone really wants to be around you and can see you as a potential life partner, can see you as someone, they're going to spend the rest of their fucking life with, they're going to want to hang out with

you. They're going to want to follow through with a plan. There was a guy one time I was seeing that would constantly make these crazy excuses, not to see me, blaming it all on work. And at first, I totally understood and I believed him. And I had no reason not to trust him. He seemed like a really great guy. He was super polite, super respectful and person.

And we made a plan to go to dinner and two hours before the dinner, he texted me an entire essay, a full essay with an intro, a fucking thesis statement. Okay, it was a well curated text of all the reasons why he couldn't make the dinner. And he was super apologetic and super polite about it, super nice. There was nothing really wrong with the text in the moment I didn't get upset, I wasn't offended. I was just like, you know what, he had a work issue come up. There's obviously

an emergency. He seems really stressed out, totally fine, totally valid. I respect that. Go to your work and we'll grab dinner another time. But then he started getting more and more flaky as time went on. And that's when I realized that this man was just full-out bullshitting me and he just knew what to say to make it look like he wasn't the bad guy. And listen, at the end of the day, it wasn't that serious, it wasn't that deep, it wasn't a relationship where we were dating for a year and he started pulling back. However, it was the principle of crafting and curating these detailed essay-like responses and answers to any question I had that made me feel like if I got mad that I was the problem.

Like if I got mad I would be the bad guy because he was so nice about canceling. When in reality it was just an elaborate excuse to get out of a plan and maybe he did like me a little bit, maybe he did think I was a cool person, whatever it was, but he didn't like me enough to actually make the time to see me. And later on, I found out that he got into another relationship a few weeks after that all happened. So I believe that he wasn't being completely honest. I think he was seeing other people, clearly, whatever it is.

Long story short, if they want to see you, if they want to make a plan with you and follow through, they'll figure out a way. And if someone genuinely has to cancel because of an emergency, they'll reschedule almost immediately because they genuinely do want to see you. And it was an emergency. I'll give you another story. One of my best friends, she was briefly dating a guy who told her that his grandma was in the hospital and he sent her this whole essay, oh my God, you know I had a family emergency, my grandma's in the hospital, she's not doing well.

And I need to go see her and attend to that. And I'm sorry, I can't make the plans. Can we please reschedule? And she's like, oh my God, of course, of course, because obviously, if you're a decent human being and you have some sort of empathy and emotion, you're going to feel bad if someone tells you that their grandma's in the hospital. However, after that, he never followed through with additional plans and we were laughing about it because at the end of the day, who the fuck lies about that?

If your grandma's genuinely in the hospital, that's totally valid. However, he never followed up with another plan. He never followed through to see her again. And that's the point where it's like people will come up with these collaborative excuses to carve themselves out of plans when in reality the best thing you could hear from someone is the truth in early on And dating and from my opinion I would rather Hear it and say listen. I'm not really feeling this. I'm not really sure

what direction this is going in. And I just want to put a pause on this. I would rather hear those words than a made-up lie. I'm also a little bit older and I've been through a lot. So now I just would prefer to hear the truth. Maybe a few years ago, I wouldn't have been able to handle that. But end of the day, someone will see you and make the time to see you and reschedule if something's actually really serious. So just remember that when someone starts canceling plans on you, just be aware. Just be aware of what's going on. Number three, he doesn't make an effort to get to know you on a deeper, more emotional, real level.

If you're just bantering all the time, it's easy to have a good time with someone, especially if you're out drinking, you go grab drinks with someone, you have a fun date, you're doing fun things, the first, second, third date, fine. Have a good time, do it over the fuck you want to do. You're just getting to know each other on a surface level. Honestly, I like to go deep. The first date, I just love knowing people's true intentions. I love knowing more about people's lives. I ask questions, they ask me questions. I'm that type of person, but some people don't like to do that on the first or second date, which is valid.

So the first few dates, totally fine, to just keep it light, keep it fun, keep it as simple as you want to keep it. But over time, if there's still not investing energy into really getting to know deeper parts of you and peeling back the layers of who you are and asking you more thoughtful and insightful questions, that's not the best sign. Because someone who really wants to date you and be a part of your life is going to want to know more about you than just where you work. And, you know, your favorite cheese or your favorite animal, I don't know. I don't know what questions people ask on dates nowadays.

I'm just like thinking of random shit right now, but it's true. Okay. If someone's not asking you thoughtful and insightful questions about yourself, about the things you love to do, about what's important to you, about your values, about what inspires you, about your family. Just be aware of that because those things are important. It's important to get to know someone's core and soul if you're trying to date them. And if someone's very invested in you and invested in getting to know the deeper parts of who you are, you'll just know that because it'll be very obvious and very clear. Next one. He avoids any talk about a serious commitment or the future. Now, this is if you've been seeing someone for a decent amount of time. And if you hint at being more serious, and if you hint at a bigger commitment,

and they're just not willing to go there and they're very avoidant, that's a red flag. I've been in situations with people where we were seeing each other for months and then the second I would bring something up that involved a more serious step to take the commitment to the next level, they would avoid it at all fucking costs

and dance around it and circle around the entire conversation to make it like we should still continue this because it's so good and we're having so much fun and we're having such a good time, but I'm not ready to take it to boyfriend girlfriend right now or I'm not ready for that serious label just yet, but it could be that. A lot of people will leave you clinging on to the potential of what the relationship could be. And it's something to just be aware of when you're seeing someone for a reasonable amount of time. A reasonable amount of time could be two months end up.

OK. Every relationship that was serious that I've gotten in has moved quickly because the man knew exactly what he wanted. He knew he wanted to date me. He knew that I was his girlfriend. He knew it. All three boyfriends I've had, all three serious long term committed boyfriends. All of them saw me and they knew. And I knew that they knew because they were so forward with how they felt.

Within, I would say two weeks of knowing my ex, he literally said to me, you're my girlfriend. I can see you as my girlfriend. And this is moving in that direction. And it just happened so quickly and effortlessly. and it was so fucking easy. It's supposed to be easy. Everyone operates at their own pace, so obviously two weeks is very quick, but everyone operates at their own pace. However, I really do believe that men know almost instantly if they want to commit to you.

It doesn't happen all the time. I'm not gonna say this is every single situation. If you have a situation that wasn't like this and you turned your situation of three years into a relationship, by all means send me a DM on Instagram and tell me the story because I would love to make an episode about those situations.

However, I don't want to feed into people's delusions because at the end of the day, most situations, if they've been dragged out for a long time and the guy is still saying, eh, I'm not sure, I don't really know. I'm not really ready for a serious thing yet, but it could be something it usually doesn't end up in a serious situation.

Usually, not all the time, but usually. There was also a guy that I recently was talking to on Instagram DM about a situation where he was actually the one who was being strung along by a woman who he was really, really invested in and emotionally attached to. And she was leading him on to believe that they were going to be together and they were going to be serious and she kept dragging it out. So it was the other way around. And I wanted to bring this point up because it's not just men to women, okay?

I'm not making men out to be the bad guys here. It can go either way. It's guys here. It can go either way. It's very easy for it to go either way. Some women are also capable of leading men on until they can, as long as they can, which is totally, it's the same thing. So it goes both ways. And I know there are 5% of the audience's male that's listening to the podcast. So I know there are men that are listening.

So I just want to include you in that because I understand it does go both ways. But point is, if it's been months and someone's not willing to have that talk with you or go in that direction or set the tone of where the relationship is going and they're avoiding it at all costs, it's probably not the best sign. Another sign, he doesn't prioritize your needs or feelings. I was, well, this is kind of my fault, but I've made an episode about this guy who is a narcissistic person or exploit narcissistic traits, I guess you could say, I made an episode about him before. That relationship was very fascinating because I kind of got myself in the situation and I do take accountability for a lot of the things because from the get go he made it clear

that he was not looking for anything serious and I was younger and I was naive and I didn't really know that I was going to get so attached emotionally. I thought everything was good and I was like, oh, I'm single, I don't care. This will be like a fun situation type of thing and it ended up being my fault in the end because I just let it go on for way too long, even though he was clear about his intentions. However, there was a point where we were talking about maybe going in a more serious direction and he was like, yeah, I'm open to seeing where it goes. He would always say, like, I am open to seeing where it goes,

but he wasn't saying, you know, I wanna be with you. So he left it very unclear. And there was one time where I was sick, and his office was close to my apartment. And I remember asking him if he could pick me up sprinkles cupcakes because there was a sprinkles cupcake vending machine in New York. They have this company called sprinkles. I don't know if they have them anywhere else, but the cupcakes are fucking amazing. They're so good. And I was really

craving one. And I had been seeing him for a few months. I didn't think it was weird. He's been to my place before. We've hung out many, many times. So I was just like, yeah, like, could you bring me cupcakes? And he literally, like, ghosted the message. She didn't even answer me. And I think it took him like three or four hours to reply and then he just completely diverted the entire conversation and ignored me asking that. And I felt like my needs were so neglected in the moment because okay, maybe that sounds like a boyfriend duty but like even a nice friend would do that.

Like I believe that if your best friend was around the block from you, literally two blocks away and could do that for you if you're sick or having a really shitty day, it's just what a nice friend would do too, okay? It wasn't this like huge insane request or ask. And I felt so stupid and so dumb for sending that text, and I was like embarrassed because he clearly did not want to do that for me. And it's fine. Okay. At the end of the day, I kind of got myself in that situation.

But it's just so clear when someone doesn't want to prioritize you or your needs, even like the small silly things like going and buying you a cupcake if you're sick. Okay. It's so obvious when someone doesn't give a fuck. And in that situation, I try to forget about that story, but I don't know why I just know it's for everyone's ears to hear, I guess. But yeah, so if someone is avoiding your needs, your small needs, doesn't have to be anything big, but if someone's kind of avoiding that,

it's also not a good sign, clearly. After telling you that story, my face is like burning up, because I'm like, damn, I'm cringing at my old self begging a man that I wasn't dating to buy me cupcakes. Another big thing that I think we've all experienced is this concept of social media following other people, kind of seeing who people are following, seeing what they're sharing, what they're posting on their stories. It's very easy to get caught up in the world, wind of Instagram and social media, and picking apart someone's life and what they're doing and what their intentions are with you based on who they're following, what pictures they're liking, etc.

So this is my opinion. I'm going to preface this with that. But if a man is constantly liking other girls' photos that are, you know, attractive, that you could tell that he would be attracted to, and he might have had a thing within the past or whatever it is, or even just random girls, random models on Instagram. And you're dating. I think it's disrespectful. I think it's a form of emotional. I don't want to say cheating, but it's like this disloyalty. It's like this dishonesty aspect to it because why do you need to do that? Like, what is that doing for you really? Is it giving you this like

endorphin high to like some hot girls picture? If you're with me, you're with me, you should get that high from me. You should be happy with me. You should be liking all my shit and commenting on all my shit and blowing up my Instagram notifications. Why do you need the validation or that chase of entertaining other people's content that you might be attracted to now this doesn't apply to other women in their life like family members obviously childhood friendships, maybe they've known some girl From their lake house when they were seven years old and their family friends fine, okay

lay cows when they were seven years old and their family friends fine okay. Obviously these things are exceptions. But if it's just some girl he's hooked up within the past, he's had some sort of attraction too before some girl he met at a club and never hooked up with. It doesn't matter the actual context. It's just anyone that he might be interested in if you weren't together. If he's engaging in their content, I just don't find it appropriate. I find it uncomfortable and I wouldn't be comfortable with that. Now, same thing goes for following other people. There was someone I was seeing that I thought I had a great connection with. We were going on a lot of dates.

We were hanging out off in and I saw every fucking day he would follow someone new. And yeah, maybe I had a little too much time on my hands to be checking that, but listen, we've all been there. Come on. Okay. Everyone stalks. If you like someone, if you care about someone and you're investing your energy in them, you've stalked them before.

So I noticed that he was following all these random women. And it completely shifted everything in my brain about the situation because I suddenly realized that I wasn't the top priority. I wasn't the top priority. I wasn't. He might have never even, you know, messaged or hooked up with any of these people. I don't know the context, but all I know is that it made me feel uncomfortable and that was enough for me to pull back

and understand that I don't want someone like that. My last relationship, my ex, there were moments when we were in the early stages of dating and he was liking other girls pictures and I told him, I'm not comfortable with that. I'm not comfortable with that and if you continue to do this, I don't want to be with someone that does that and he stopped. And then we got more serious and he didn't even feel inclined to do that anymore. serious and he didn't even feel inclined to do that anymore. He unfollowed everyone because he wanted to respect our relationship, which is normal. That's the bare minimum. If you're not doing that with other guys, if I was going on other guys' Instagrams and commenting wow, amazing abs, like, I mean, no one would actually write that. But like, if I'm going on

guys that I find attractive's Instagram feeds, liking their posts, sending them to my friends, my girlfriends, oh my god, look how hot this guy is. Sliding into his DMs, it's just inappropriate. I would feel so weird about doing that if I had a boyfriend. Like I always put myself in the other person's shoes.

Would me doing that be appropriate? No. Would I feel okay doing that if I was committed to someone? No. So why is it any different the other way around? You're not asking for too much by telling someone I'm not comfortable with this. So you need to unfollow these people

because it doesn't make me feel good. And if they're not willing to understand that, it's not the best sign. But this is my opinion. Do whatever you want in your relationships, but speaking from my own feelings and perspective on this particular one. Now I'm going to go off on this list and if anything resonates with you that's amazing. I'm not going to go as in detail because we could sit here for 48 hours unpacking all of this but I'm just going to read down the list. And here we go.

He's hesitant to display affection or avoid physical contact altogether. Yeah, that's weird. He seems more interested in other people or activities when you're together. He doesn't make an effort to impress you by any means or make you feel special in any way. He doesn't remember important details

or key events in your life that you've discussed with him before. He seems emotionally distant all the time or unavailable. He says he's not ready for any type of series commitment. He doesn't share his own feelings or thoughts with you often. He flirts with other people frequently on social media or in real life or seems interested in dating other people aside from you. He doesn't include you in his social media posts or pictures. I guess that's if you've been dating for a little bit. He frequently avoids making future plans with you.

He doesn't make an effort to resolve conflict or misunderstandings. He doesn't support your dreams or ambitions. He's extremely critical of you and everything that you do. He avoids discussing any issues or problems that arise in the relationship. He doesn't introduce you to his friends as his partner or significant other. He only reaches out to you when he wants something. Usually that's physical something. He doesn't make an effort to make you feel valued or appreciated. He never asks about your day or how you're doing. He becomes extremely defensive when you bring up any concerns. He doesn't make time for you during important events or occasions.

He seems more interested in casual or physical aspects of the relationship rather than the emotional connection. That's a big one. I actually get a lot of DMs on Instagram from women who say that this man only wants sex, how do I make him more emotionally invested? And I'm like, you can't just force someone to be emotionally invested. They have to do that for themselves. You can't just force someone to be emotionally invested. They have to do that for themselves. Like, you can't psychologically manipulate someone to become more invested in you if their mission is to have sex all the time. Like if they're going in with that goal, you can't talk them out of it. And it's up to you whether you want to stay in a situation like that or not.

Every time I've been in a situation with someone where we were hooking up, but we weren't at that serious emotional level, there were ways that I would try to change the dynamic by manipulating the situation. So I would pull back and then not really talk to them for a little bit. And then I'd say, listen, I want something more than just the physical aspects.

And they're like, oh yeah, whatever, blah, blah, blah. And regardless of what happened, because these situations were a long time ago for me, it just never ended up working because I had to force it almost. And you can't force a connection. It's either there or it's not. You can't force the emotional aspects of a connection. It just exists. And that's what I've learned from being in so many different types of situations with people in the dating world. Like, you can't force something to happen. It just happens because it's effortless. Two people like each other, they get feelings for each other, and then they start dating. Okay, it's not some game that you have

to play. It's not some role you have to play to make someone fall in love with you. You don't have to manipulate. Like, could you imagine you're with someone and you're like, yeah, I had to force him to be with me. That's what it's like when you're trying to force a connection. Why would you want to have to manipulate someone into wanting to be with you? Just know. You're so much better than that. Okay, I don't know if I agree with all these, but he doesn't show genuine interest in your

hobbies or passions. He only reaches out to you late at night for last minute plans. That's a big one too. He doesn't make a genuine effort to make you feel included in his life or his friendship circles. He avoids talking about his emotions and avoid deep conversations, kind of mentioned that already. He doesn't seem interested in meeting any of your friends or anyone close to

you in your life. He doesn't make an effort to learn about your background, family or culture. He doesn't make an effort to comfort or support you during tough times. LOL to the cupcake story. There was also an incident with that person where he, I just remember any time I was like stressed out or going through something, there was one time where this homeless man spit on me and pulled my hair in the middle of New York. Yeah, I know. Maybe I'll save that story for another time because it's more elaborate and whatever. But long story short, you can imagine how startled and traumatized I was that day. I was walking down the street and essentially long story short, some guy literally almost ripped my head out, ripped my hair out of my skull, and he tried to grab my phone out of my hand, and then he

spit on me. So you can imagine that I didn't want to live in New York after that day. I was like, I'm moving the fuck out of this city. I don't feel safe. I'm just so disturbed. That night I went to this guy's apartment because we had plans and it told him the story and he was just staring at me blankly. He didn't really have any sort of reaction. Like, it was almost like he was just waiting for me to stop talking. And after I was done telling in the story, he was just looking at me and he's like, I hope you're okay. I'm like, that's it. That's all you're gonna fucking say. I just got almost assaulted in the streets I'm in had and no one was

around to help me and protect me That's all you're gonna say like it was just one of those moments where I realized that he didn't care about me and I'm like It's such a big red flag like if you are Expressing a genuine concern or something bad that's happened to you and you're You know telling someone and they're just not emotionally there to guide you through it or give you genuine advice or console you. Just, yeah, you know. You know when you know.

You know when someone cares about you and when someone doesn't care about you. You can delusionaly convince yourself that they do, but deep down, you know if someone gives a shit about you. You don't need to ask me and DM me and say, Hey, do you think this person cares? You know before you even sent me that message. But, you know, it is what it is. And listen, you know, I think the whole purpose of today's episode is also just to remind you to choose yourself over anything. You know, the whole brand ate yourself and said obviously it can be

interpreted in a few different ways, but for me it really just means choosing yourself and understanding what you really do deserve and understanding that you deserve better if you think you deserve better. You know, if you're uncomfortable with things, if your boundaries are being crossed, if you have expectations and someone's not fulfilling these expectations and you're constantly being let down and disappointed and you feel anxious and insecure and sad all the time because of a current situation that you're in, you have to believe that you deserve better. And you have to be brave enough to let the things go that are holding you back from receiving better because you can't receive better if you're holding onto things that aren't right

for you. And I've learned this through experiences every time I've let go and I've really just trusted the universe and I've put faith in my future in knowing that there are better things waiting around the corner for me if I just fucking let go of whatever toxic situation I was in, my life would always get better and I would always meet other people. There's so many people in the world and I've mentioned this before, but I'm going to say it again, there's so many amazing, incredible, good people in the world. Yes, there are shitty people too, but there are also really good people. And if you focus on

that and you say, you know what, I trust that there's someone so fucking amazing for me out there, and this person does not deserve me, and you truly program your brain to actually believe that, truly program your brain to actually believe that, it'll become true. Okay? Your thoughts are so powerful and that's something to note as well. Your thoughts create your reality. And so if you're looking to kind of get yourself out of a situation where you're truly not happy and, you know, someone's not really giving you what you deserve, you have to trust that there will be

something and someone better for you and With that being said, I think that concludes today's episode Thanks so much as always for listening to the podcast feel free to rate it on apple and Spotify if you haven't already and Feel free to share this episode with a friend if you think they might be in a situation like this. Or if you're in a situation like this where you're not really sure if someone's into you and you could resonate with the things I was saying, listen to this on repeat until you have the courage to walk away

because even going through some of these notes, I've just remembered from my past so many things I used to tolerate that were such bullshit. And you deserve the best because you're a fucking goddess. I love you, have an amazing day, and stay tuned for next Monday.