Date Yourself Instead - HOW TO HAVE A MAJOR GLOWUP POST BREAKUP

Episode Date: June 3, 2024

IT'S TIME TO SHINE BABY. It's time to heal and GLOW from the inside out. JOIN DARE TO DETACH MASTERCLASS DOORS OPEN JUNE 5, 2024. Can't wait to see you there.

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of date yourself instead. I'm so happy to be here. So happy to be back in New York in my routine. Whenever I wear like strapless tops, I just feel more like sexy, more confident, more empowered. And I wore this specifically on purpose for today's episode because today is going to cover how to have a major glow up, not only physically, but mentally and spiritually and how to have a major glow up, not only physically, but mentally and spiritually, and how to feel like the most confident,

empowered version of you, because everyone deserves to feel that way. Everyone deserves to feel confident. And I know it can be a struggle sometimes, you know, no one is confident 100% of the time, including myself. And I thought I would make this episode because it's so important if you're trying to, you know, set new goals for yourself. If you're trying to

change your life for the better, if you're trying to heal from a breakup, if you're trying to become the woman or the man that you've always wanted to be, it's really important to know the steps in order to get there and to have a clear vision and a clear goal in mind. That's what this episode is going to be covering because for the longest time, I think especially when I was going through the thick of my breakup, when I was in the most pain I've ever been in my whole life, I didn't really have that proper guidance. I didn't have a mentor or anyone in specific that was in my life guiding me to where I

needed to go. And I felt very lost. I didn't feel confident And I felt very lost. I didn't feel confident. I felt very insecure. I felt like I couldn't get to the end goal and I couldn't step into my higher self or become the woman that I wanted to be because I was so sad all the time and I was so depressed.

And when you don't have that proper guidance, it can be really difficult to navigate life in general. And I know firsthand that it was not fun to wake up every day feeling sad, discouraged, like I couldn't be the woman that I wanted to be because I was so lost. If this episode can inspire you in any way to get a kickstart on creating life you've always imagined, but also creating yourself into the person you've always

wanted to become, then mission accomplished. I'm so excited to dive in. Okay, so every time I go through a breakup or something really transformative and painful, I know it sounds kind of crazy, but I always say that pain actually propels me forward and drives me to be better and Actually is a blessing in disguise because it'll eventually be the catalyst for why I am

Stronger more empowered more beautiful every time I go through a breakup I become hotter like I become a hotter more empowered Confident stronger version of me by the end of it all by the time I feel by the time I've done the inner work, by the time I've finally detached and let go and moved on, I become like this unstoppable human being where I'm like, damn, thank God I went through that because now I'm an even better version of myself. The beauty of going through something really difficult is that you're able to eventually come out on the other side like a phoenix rising from the ashes and I always use this reference because I

Feel like my life has been a constant Transformative process. I've gone through three serious relationships, which I've talked about on separate episodes of the podcast But I had three big talked about on separate episodes of the podcast, but I had three big relationships in my life that have played such a fundamental role in the person that I am today. These relationships have shaped my identity, have transformed me in so many countless ways,

but ultimately when I look back at my younger self before I, you know, dove into the world of romance and romantic relationships, and I had no idea what even having a boyfriend was before all of that. Until now, I see how much I've transformed and I see how much I've learned over the years. And I see how much it's matured me and propelled me forward and made me the woman that I am today. And that's why I say, even though you're going through the pain right now, you're going through a period of time where you might not feel really secure with yourself or you feel really lost,

just understand that this is the time right before you're about to have the most major glow up of your life and step into your power. When you are going through the thick of something really difficult, it is a portal where you're essentially walking through the shit to get to this like golden life that you're about to

live and it sounds crazy but it's true every time I've gone through some serious shit it's always followed by some sort of awakening where I feel reborn I feel transformed I feel unstoppable I feel powerful I feel like I could take on anything and I can really conquer anything in life because if I can get through Someone cheating on me over and over again, or if I can get through someone breaking my trust hurting me Shattering my heart into a fucking million pieces then I can also Get through anything else in life. I always say too. I mean there are a lot of difficult things that people go through in life, you know, everyone has their shit, everyone has their problems. But I never wish the first heartbreak upon my worst enemy. I never wish that feeling upon my worst fucking enemy.

It is the most painful feeling in the entire world when you've never experienced your heart getting broken and then you go through that for the first time. I remember I felt like my world was actually collapsed. Like I couldn't function, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. My anxiety was through the roof. I couldn't live my life on a daily basis because I was in so much pain. And unless you've

firsthand experienced it you really don't know the feeling and as I was going through it, I remember being like this is not real like this is not a real feeling that anyone should Should experience and I was really young at the time. My first heartbreak was actually when I was 15 years old So it was quite a while ago, but I still remember the feeling to this day. It was a feeling. It is a feeling that you will never, ever forget. And the beauty of it all is without those feelings, you don't really grow. I believe that you need that pain

and you need those hard times in order to evolve and transcend and transform. And those moments are gonna shape you into such a powerhouse. Those moments are gonna shape you into the strongest fucking person you know. And you're gonna walk into every room feeling like you could take on pretty much anything.

Cause if I went through that, I could go through anything. If you're looking to accelerate your glow up process, the Dare to Detach Masterclass is the best way to kickstart it all, especially now that it's summer. It is the perfect opportunity to do so. One of the most amazing testimonials I received the other day, Liss, I just finished your course

and I wanted to send a massive thank you. Last week I completed it in full and I've come away feeling so empowered, basically like I could conquer anything. It brought up past experiences and emotions. I didn't know that were still affecting me and it's allowed me to finally move on and feel amazing again.

Thank you not only for the course, but for your podcast and for all of your content it's helped me more than you'll ever know. So sweet and I actually met that girl in Australia when I was at breakfast. I ran into her and it just so happened that she had just bought the masterclass and she listens to the podcast so it was so amazing to meet her in person. You're so sweet. Thank you for sending in your review. It means so much. And also, I'm just so proud of you. And I'm so proud of the community. Just everyone is so positive and uplifting. And we have this private group

chat where everyone is just so supportive of each other and helps each other and gives each other advice. It's very wholesome and I live for it. I wake up every day and I read the messages and I'm like, everyone in here just has the best energy and everyone wants to see each other happy and successful and thrive. And that's the beauty of building a community like this. Everyone is healing and everyone is striving to be better. And that's just such an amazing thing. Another review from the Dare to Detach program lists I

took the Dare to Detach course last month and I don't know what kind of magic you put in it but my life has improved substantially in such a short window of time that it's absolutely crazy. I was skeptical but I decided to immerse myself fully in the experience and oh my god I spent two years chasing a toxic man that made it very clear. He would never commit to me I wouldn't give anyone else the time a day in my life my life revolved around him Girl, I let him go Did the course and I haven't talked to him in weeks

Here's the kicker after learning how to truly detach from the course and once I started really working on myself I found a great guy who treats me so well and it's everything I could have ever asked for and I'm happier than I've ever been. I wouldn't have met him if I hadn't taken the course. I love you and the work you're doing. You're seriously changing people's lives. That is probably one of the best reviews I've ever received from the course so far and I am so happy for this girl that she was able to detach, let go of someone who she was clinging onto for two plus years, someone that clearly had commitment issues and now she's detached and moved on to someone that treats her right. That is all I could ever ask for and that is the whole point of Dare to Detach.

You could always send me a message on my Instagram at dateyourselfinstead as well with any questions. The first step in having a glow up and understanding this concept of really stepping into your power and changing your whole reality for the better is to understand your why. What does your higher self look like? Who do you envision her as or him as, right? You have to get clear about the vision. That is the key to manifesting. That is the key to attracting your dream life. And that is the key to stepping into your higher self and having a glow up is envisioning that person. You could just close your eyes and visualize what does this person look like? What does your higher self look like? How do they show up in the world?

What are they doing with their career? What is their purpose? What is their mission? How are they acting? How are they speaking to other people? Do they have a good relationship with their family? Do they have a good relationship with their friends? What does their group of friends consist of? Who does their group of friends consist of? You know, really getting specific about this person and treating it seriously, taking this person seriously as if they already exist because they do exist. Your future self exists on a new timeline and the whole goal is to get yourself to that timeline as fast as possible. There has to be some sort of shakeup in order for people usually to make really massive changes and transformations in their life. And for

me it was especially recently I found out that the person I love the most had violently betrayed me to the point where I couldn't ever go back or look at things the same. And I was like, this is never going to work. And this is something that I have to accept and come to terms with because someone who really loves me would never do what this person did to me. And I feel like this person was hiding so many things from me. And I found out so many crazy things over the course of the last several weeks that have

completely shifted my brain, my mentality, and my whole vision of my future self and my reality. And sometimes it takes a major wake-up call like that to make you take action and want to step into your power and make those massive shifts and changes. I think if I hadn't gone through such a painful experience where I felt like my soul was being ripped out of my fucking body, I wouldn't have been as pushed or motivated to become the greatest version of myself. And there's nothing wrong with that.

Obviously you can start at any time. I think it's even better sometimes when you're in a really good mental place and you're like, you know what? I'm just gonna keep working on myself and kick ass and step into a higher timeline because, you know, you're starting from a place of happiness, but sometimes it has to start from a place of

feeling like you've hit rock bottom. And over the last few weeks, I've made it a commitment to better myself and to really recenter all of my energy and all that energy I was externally throwing at someone else and put it back onto myself. And sometimes it just takes a really massive change. And sometimes it just takes a really painful experience to wanna make those changes. So understand your why, understand the meaning behind why you are incentivized to make these changes and then keep reminding yourself of that.

Every time you feel a little stuck or you feel stagnant and you're like, I don't know if I can actually handle this. I don't know if I can actually get to the level that I want to be at. Just remember your why and the reason why you're doing it. And for me, it's not to prove a point to anyone else, but it's to prove to myself that I can handle anything and I'm gonna power through this and rise to the top and have the best next five years of my life,

just crushing it and making a difference and helping people and making an impact. And when you have a clear vision set ahead of you and you have a future goal for yourself, that's what's going to drive you to have the glow up. Because sometimes people will say, yeah, like just, you know, go to the spa and go for a workout, go for a run, hang out with your friends, grab drinks.

Those are all fun activities you could do to make yourself feel a little better and heal. But in order for a glow up to be sustainable and to actually stick and for you to actually step into that higher timeline, you need a vision that will make it feel consistent and you need a vision that will keep you inspired on a daily basis, that will keep you going when you feel discouraged and you feel sad.

So know your why and really focus on it and zone in on it and understand that this is the reason you're waking up every day and you wanna change your life for the better. This is the reason why you're stepping out into the world and showing up every day, even when you're sad and you feel like total fucking shit. This is your purpose.

Once you have that clear and once you have that vision, it'll be so much easier to work towards your goals and to work towards that glowed up version of you. I want you to also make a list of how you see your higher self showing up every single day. I want you to write down everything that you see them as, whether it's physical, whether it's spiritual, whether it's emotional, what they're doing, what they're accomplishing, who they are as a person, who is that person to you? When you speak to this person in your head, close your eyes and imagine it.

How are they speaking to you? Are they speaking to you in a calm and confident way? Are they sure of themselves? Are they guiding you properly? Or are they all over the place? You know, you have to get real with yourself. Who is the person that you truly want to be? You also have to think about how you want people to perceive you. Do you want people to perceive you as someone who's calm and confident? I always remind myself of this calm, confident. It's so attractive. It is so attractive to me when someone is calm and confident

and secure and I'm not perfect by any means. I've had to work on myself a ton to get to a place where I feel really grounded and secure and confident with myself and to carry myself with, you know, an aura of calm because I can get really reactive. I can get really reactive, I can get really emotional and it's taken a lot of willpower and a lot of healing. Sorry, my phone's going off.

It's taken me a lot of willpower and a lot of healing to get me to a place where I can remain calm and mature in situations. But that's my higher self. I know that that version of me is calm and confident. So how do you picture yourself showing up in the world? How do you picture yourself being perceived to others? And how do you handle conflict?

How do you handle emotional situations? Be specific, write everything down. You could also write down all the physical attributes. Like I picture myself with shorter blonde hair. I'm probably gonna cut my hair at some point this year. I'm really scared to do it. I'm actually like terrified to do it. I have this traumatic experience

where I cut my hair when I was younger and I looked horrific. And it just like haunts me to this day because it was like super short. It's not what I wanted and it took forever to grow back. So anyways, don't want to go off topic here, but I picture my higher self with shorter hair, someone who is calm and confident,

someone who is secure in herself, someone who shows up with kindness and love and compassion and someone who wants to make a genuine impact and difference every single day for the right reasons with good intentions, and someone who isn't afraid to speak her truth, someone who isn't afraid to speak their mind and to stand up for what she believes in,

and someone who also has very clear firm boundaries when it comes to the people in her life and is willing to love deeply, but also is willing to walk away if things are not healthy. And those are all things that I've worked towards. And I feel like I am stepping into that woman now. I'm 31, keep in mind that I've had a lot of years of experience of up and down roller coasters,

of relationships, of toxic patterns, of situations that have taught me so, so, so, so much about myself. And it's taken me a very long time to get to this place of groundedness and security. You're not gonna have some major spiritual awakening tonight, wake up tomorrow and be like, I'm a completely reborn person. But if you know your vision

and you know the person you wanna become, you're going to Set yourself up for success and you're going to actually be able to work towards it The second thing is being willing to really leave your past self behind and anyone that is toxic and anything that is holding you back from having this glow up because People will suck your energy dry drain your power They're not gonna want to see you thrive and successful if they don't have your best intentions. They dull your shine for sure. Like I think whenever I've been with a man or a friend that

has not had my best interest or who didn't really love me the way that I love them or, you know, just who didn't treat me the right way or the way that I deserved, it would dull my shine. It would make me feel like I wasn't enough and then it would take away from my growth, my energy. It would make me feel less productive in every aspect of my life. And then I would blame it on other things like, oh, I'm lazy or oh, like I'm depressed and I have mental health issues, which is valid too, because I have struggled with mental health issues for a while before I was even in relationships. But I do believe that being with the wrong person

can enhance those mental health issues. And it could also, you know, leave you feeling a million times worse than if you were just on your own, working on your goals, working on yourself. And every time I'm single and I don't have someone that's not right for me, latching onto me and dragging me down, most of my anxiety and depression goes away.

I've definitely struggled throughout my childhood and my teenage years with mental health. But if you're around toxic people, that's clearly just going to enhance everything and make it a million times worse. So you need to be brave enough and bold enough to leave those people behind. You need to let go of anyone

who is not serving your highest good and who is not making you feel good on a daily basis. You wanna be around people who make you laugh. I was just texting my friends about this the other day. It's either you make me laugh and smile and feel like I'm glowing from the inside out. And if your energy isn't doing that you're cut. Obviously, I'm not expecting, you know, everyone in my life to

be a fucking comedian. But if you're not making me smile, and you're just bringing this dark side out of me all the time, where I'm sad and anxious and crying and 95% of the time I'm around you, you're done, you're not ever going to be a part of my life ever again. And I think you need those clear boundaries. If you're going through a relationship right now where you're constantly miserable, check yourself. You can't have a glow up and you can't ascend to the next level of your life and you can't grow and attract amazing miracles and blessings into your life if you have someone dragging

you down all the fucking time. So you have to get real and honest with who you are and you have to set those firm boundaries and be willing to walk away from people who are not serving you, people who are just not going to get you to that next level of your life, you gotta cut it, it's dead weight. It's definitely a factor and a huge factor as to probably why you're not

where you wanna be right now. So get real with yourself. And if you know that someone is dragging you down, cut them, cut them. There's nothing to lose. You have only something to gain from this because you are going to ascend to a new timeline because you're cutting all the dead weight.

Someone is dragging your energy down. This concept of, what is it? I saw it on TikTok, let go or be dragged. It's facts. You're either going to be dragged through the mud with someone for another two years, or you're going to take the scissor, chop it, chop the cord that's tying you to this person and move the fuck on and realize that you're better and you're going to accomplish amazing things in your life and you're a goddess or a God that's going to rise to the top,

you are that phoenix rising from the ashes and you are going to be extremely successful and step into your power and attract just as powerful people that will add to your power and add to your light. And they're not going to take away from it. You want people around you that make you smile. Like. You want people around you that make you smile. Like you want good people around you that make you smile,

that make you feel good and warm and fuzzy inside. There are people in the world that exist like that. And I was just saying, I was in this group chat with my friends telling them, if you're, it's either you're making me laugh and you're making me smile and making me feel even better about myself or you're done. Like you're not someone that's going to come into my life and fuck it all up again.

That's never going to happen for me again. And the second I start to feel like someone's energy is off or weird, if I start to feel not myself around that person, if I start to have to filter myself or like I'm walking on eggshells, goodbye. If you dull my fucking shine and you make me feel like I'm not powerful, goodbye, you're done. So just making sure you're cutting out those people and those situations that are dragging you down. I was listening to this podcast by this guy, Ed Mylett,

and he has some really good golden nuggets in some of his episodes and I'm going to highlight something that he said in this episode, which is moving your body is actually moving you out of depression and sadness because we start to get so wrapped up in our thoughts and we get really in our heads when we're not moving. When we're waking up in the morning, we start thinking,

when we go to bed at night, we start thinking, especially at night for me, oh my God, my mental health plummets. Sometimes when I'm just sitting in my apartment, sitting on my couch by myself, it's dead quiet. I'm like, okay, I need movement. I need something or else I might go crazy. So I'll either turn on the TV or I'll read a book or I'll watch a YouTube video, a very inspirational healing video that can get my mind in the right place. I'll clean, I'll do something to get my brain active and moving because otherwise if you're just sitting there in your thoughts and you're not meditating but you're just

sitting there, you can spiral. It's very common and I've spoken to a lot of people about this. It happens all the time. You stop moving and you get still and if you're not in the best mental place that can really cause you to start thinking of crazy shit. So for me, I think movement is the key. I like to go for long walks. I like to listen to motivating podcasts YouTube videos. I like to go for long walks. I like to listen to motivating podcasts, YouTube videos.

I like to read self-help books. I like to journal, just anything to move your brain and keep it active, but it could be in subtle healthy ways. You don't have to run a fucking New York marathon. You don't have to jet across the country and go on a solo trip, but just anything small to keep your brain moving in a healthy way. And also moving your body physically helps so much.

Get out blocked energy, get out anything that feels stuck in your body. I think just being active clears out your energy field in a good way. And that's why I love working out and that's why I love exercise in general because it has saved my life. And a lot of people, I think underestimate the power of a good workout, but for me, I know that it saved my life

because it saved my mental health and it's helped negative energy flow out of my body and given me such a good release whenever I've gone through something really traumatic or really difficult, exercise is key. I talk about this in the Dare to Detach program, moving your body. And it might sound silly because you're like,

oh, what is going for one run gonna do for me? It's about consistency. It's about making it a routine and a habit. And once you start releasing that energy consistently, you will feel better mentally. You will. It's just science. It's the way your body works.

Everything is energy. Energy cannot be destroyed. It can only be transformed and changed. So you're taking all of that block stuck energy in your body when you're working out and you're shifting it outwards and you're taking all of that block stuck energy in your body when you're working out and you're shifting it outwards and you're releasing it and letting it go and clearing space in your physical vortex. It's so amazing. And I literally, even though there was a period of time where I had no money left in my bank account a few years ago.

I hired a trainer with whatever money I had left and it was the best investment I ever made in my mental health. Having someone to guide me and coach me and push me and force me to work out and hold me accountable. I only did it for a couple of months and it was like twice a week, but it changed everything for me and I highly recommend doing that. If you don't have a trainer, if you don't have that motivation and you have struggled with pushing yourself to work out,

hire a trainer, even if it's once every couple of weeks, just someone to help you show up and be accountable. It is such a game changer. Okay, so the next thing is super important. And I didn't realize how important it was until recently. You need some sort of mentor or person to look up to that you wanna become. Someone that's going to motivate you

other than you envisioning your higher self, which is really helpful. You need some source of inspiration. It doesn't matter who it is, if it's someone that you want to become or aspire to be. Like obviously you don't wanna try to replicate anyone or you don't wanna try to actually become someone else, but you want someone that you could look up to

as a role model, as a mentor, as a peer, as someone that can really hold you accountable, even if you don't know them personally. This does not have to be someone you know personally. So I'll give you an example of mine. This woman, I don't even know if a lot of people would know who she is and I'm gonna keep it anonymous for good reasons,

but there was a woman that I discovered recently that I started stalking, like doing this crazy research on her because I saw that she owned a company that I really stalking, like doing this crazy research on her because I saw that she owned a company that I really admire and respect. And it's one of my favorite brands. So I was like, okay, I just love this woman's energy. I love her vibe and she seems just so confident and I love the way she carries herself publicly.

I love the way she speaks. I love her ambition and her drive and her vision. And you could tell she's just such a entrepreneur. She's such a boss. And I started like just watching videos of her and getting so fucking inspired. And there was like a week period where I was literally just like

binge watching YouTube videos of her. And it sounds kind of creepy when I say it out loud because like, I don't even think a lot of people would know who she is. But for me, like it was so impactful and it helped me so much get my head on straight because this woman is like taking over the world. She's working 24 seven, she's building an empire and she is not focused on the small little things. I mean, I don't really know her personally, so I'm not gonna say, you know, I know exactly what's going through her brain,

but you could just tell by someone's energy and the way they carry themselves that they are not to be messed with. Like, they are powerful. You know when someone is actually powerful because they're radiating such powerful energy. And she just came off that way to me, and I was like, you know, I don't know this woman,

but maybe I'll meet her one day, who knows? But like, she's inspiring me to get my fucking shit together. And sometimes when we go off track and we lose sight of our vision for ourselves, and we get caught up in relationships or toxic friendships or family dynamics or whatever it is, we lose sight of the bigger picture of life, which is about creation, which is about, you know, learning how to live to the fullest because life is short. And I believe that everyone deserves to live their life to the fullest. And when we get so caught up in like the silly little dramas of our everyday reality, we forget our higher purpose and our calling is waiting for us. And a lot of people will never fulfill their dreams because they're

endlessly caught up in bullshit and It's not to say that you know Those things aren't important because obviously human connection and relationships are important and significant But there is more to life than getting Upset over a guy who goes to you. There is more to life than you know, some friend That's not happy for your success. There is more to life than, you know, some friend that's not happy for your success. There is more to life than. Something falling apart because it just wasn't right. Like when you're able to look past the silly dramas in your day to day reality.

It's just a wake up call. And for me, just having that person to look at and have it as a reference to become better. I was like, I wanna be more like this woman. And I don't wanna be this woman, but I wanna be more like her in the sense that she built an empire and I'm building an empire and I need that encouragement sometimes

and I need that reminder. So find a mentor, find someone that you could look up to and do research on and fixate on that. And that's how you get inspired. Especially if you don't have a lot of good people around you that are inspiring to you. Because I've been there before where I felt like I didn't really have anyone to look up to at a point in my life.

I mean, I have amazing friends and family, but I also just feel like from my career, I was doing something very different. And I was like, I don't know really who's my, who my inspiration is. But just finally finding that person for me now and looking at what she's accomplishing, I'm like, yeah, this is, this is it. Like, this is someone that I want to be more like, and it's really, really helpful in getting you to your goals and keeping your head on straight. The next thing is, and the final thing is really, is to just envision yourself as that new person

on a daily basis. You have to get visual and really believe that you are that person on a daily basis. And I talk about this in my Dare to Detach program as well, just stepping into that new version of you, creating a new identity for yourself, letting go of the past, cutting ties with, you know, people that aren't in your future vision of you.

And it's a lot of moving on energetically from this old identity of you in order to step into the new identity of you. It's almost not erasing the past, but it's leaving that person behind and saying, that's not me anymore. I am identifying as this new person now. And when you learn how to identify

with a new version of you, and you actually believe at your core that you are this new version of you, that's when things start to manifest. That's when things start to shift and change in your reality. And experiences will happen for you once you make that conscious choice

that you are this new person. And I just think it's so important to keep reminding yourself, like I am this new version of me already. When I started my podcast and everyone was saying, it's gonna be really hard, it's gonna be difficult, it's gonna be challenging. I was like, I am a successful podcaster.

I am, you know, crushing it in the podcast industry. I already created that identity for myself going into it. So nothing anyone told me was going to stop me and nothing that anyone told me affected me or swayed me or made me or convinced me out of this career path, because I was like, no, I am doing a podcast full time. This is my work. This is what I love. This is what I signed up to do.

This is my calling. And I'm making it my mission to make it my full time job. And I believed already it was my full time job, even though I wasn't making money off of it for so long, I made no money. And I've spoken about this, too. I believed that I was doing it full time already. Like I was like this is this is my purpose, this is my work, this is what I signed up for, this is what my soul's calling is and this is what my soul's calling is. This is what it's telling me to do and I'm sticking by it and I don't care what

anyone says. I also went online and I found this six month glow up checklist. This is all just like surface level tips, but I'm going to read some of them to you anyway, just to finish off the episode because I do think they are valuable and important. If you are looking for a massive change in your life, you know, everything does start from within, but it's also about taking care of your appearance and your physical health. And I think physical health ties into mental health. So that's why this is important and significant. Eating healthier and nourishing your body with the right foods, you know, gives you a clear state of mind.

It's not to look a certain way. It's not to be fit. It's not to, you know, achieve a certain body type or anything like that. And I know food and eating and diet can be a sensitive subject for some people. So I want to be careful with, you know, how I navigate this topic. But for me, eating and nourishing foods such as, you know, vegetables, fruits, like healthy smoothies in the morning and having movement in the morning, it's just so important for me because it makes me feel clear-minded, it makes me feel more focused, it makes me feel more energetic and productive, and that's the reason why I love to eat healthy. And I think it's important if

you are looking to make changes in your life to nourish your body with foods that give you the right nutrients and that make you feel clear-minded and focused so you can take on the day with as much energy as possible. Drinking a lot of water, as I said, exercising a few times a week, getting good amounts of sleep. I have a really good tip for those of you. There was one girl who messaged me recently

and was like, I can't sleep because I'm going through a breakup and I was used to having my partner next to me cuddling with me I need that human affection. I have a hack for you because I went through this too and it was really hard for me to sleep Well, sleep is so important by the way sleep is going to help you be more productive feel good balances your hormones and It sets you up for a really Good day the next day if you don't get a good sleep, your next week is like ruined.

At least for me, like I always feel really imbalanced if I don't sleep well. So here's the hack. I ordered a comforting heating pad from Amazon that smells like oatmeal and cinnamon. It's like, I have to find a link for it and I'll link it on my Instagram, but you can search it on Amazon. It's like this lavender heating pad with oatmeal. I don't know.

It's the scented heating pad. Okay. And you microwave it for a couple of minutes and then you put it on your body while you're resting while you're going to bed it comforts you it smells amazing it smells like oatmeal cinnamon cookies i don't know it just smells so good and it's very therapeutic it's supposed to be a form of aromatherapy and to also just make you feel more calm and at ease and it really fucking works the heat makes you feel more comforted it calms your nervous system down, it calms your body down and puts you in a state of relaxation and it just

smells so good and so if I'm craving affection, if I can't sleep well, I microwave that, I make myself a sleepy tea. It's this brand called Sleepy Time Tea. And I will drink that tea, microwave my heating pad, and I sound like a little baby right now. I sound like a baby right now, but it really is so therapeutic and the heat calms me down. You could also take a hot bath, but I just find having the heating pad on while you're already in bed is so effective. And then having a tea you'll drift off to sleep no problem and then I'll listen to some meditation or something to help me really

fall asleep but the heat kind of feels like body heat so it really does work and I love it and that's my hack for you if you're craving that affection and that warmth, having a heating pad on while you fall asleep, sleepy tea, meditation. And yeah, just great. Anyways, stick to your goals, work on your confidence by saying affirmations every single day. I am beautiful, I am powerful, I am unstoppable. I am creating my dream life.

I am doing everything that I set my mind to. I am living my best fucking life. Whatever it is that you want to say to yourself on a daily basis. I am with the love of my life. I am attracting my dream partner. I am the number one singer in the world, radio host, whatever it is, like anything that you want. Saying those affirmations on a daily consistent basis.

I do my affirmations every single day and it starts to rewire your mind. That's also part of my masterclass. Reading more than scrolling, a huge one. No screen time for the first and last hour of the day. That's a really good tip as well. I also will say with the sleep thing, turning my phone on airplane mode

has been a huge game changer when I go to bed. Journaling daily, spending at least one hour meditating. I mean, that's a lot to meditate if you are really busy, but you could meditate for 10, 15 minutes every single morning, huge game changer for me. Meeting up with good people and friends, having a self-care day at least once a week, cleaning out your closet.

You know what I will say too, when you clean and you clean out your closet or you clean out any old things that you've just left around in your apartment, it cleans out stuck energy in your space. So just be aware of that. Anything that you don't use anymore that's associated with the old version of you,

clear it out. For me too, that also means deleting old text and pictures. And a lot of people will not agree with this and they're gonna be like, nope, I'm too sentimental. I'm not doing that. Even just like backing everything up on a hard drive so you have it, but like just not looking at old memories, old pictures, it's really helped me

psychologically just move on and let go of my old identity. Like I don't want to see me and my ex cuddling with his dog. Like I just don't want to see it. It's not beneficial for my mental health. And I'm like, you know, maybe in a few years from now, I'll get to a place where if I look at that, it's not going to emotionally do anything to me. But if it's sitting on your phone and you're going through old albums, old memories, reading old texts, you're not going to step into the higher version of you anytime soon because you're still on the old timeline. And I do want to say, just be gentle with yourself as you are working towards building a new life for yourself.

You know, these things are not always an overnight process. They take time. So just be easy on yourself and patient as you are working towards becoming the best version of you. And with that being said, that concludes today's episode of date yourself instead. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to rate it on Apple and Spotify and share it with your friends. It would mean so much to me or post it on your Instagram story and I'll share it.

I'll repost your stories. I love seeing you guys share the podcast. It makes my day. I see everything, even though I don't get to reply to everyone, I do see everything in all of your messages and sweet comments. It makes my day and it makes doing what I do

just so much better. I love you. Thank you as always for supporting Date Yourself instead. If you haven't already, also be sure to check out the Dare to Detach Masterclass. Door is open in June. This summer is going to be incredible. The class is going to be open for the first few weeks of June and then I'm closing it for the full rest of the summer. We have such an incredible group of people in there and I can't wait for you to join us. You could also use the code self love for a discount if you do decide to join us and if you have any questions

always DM me as usual. I love you. Thank you again. Happy summer. I'm so excited for the summer. It's going to be so amazing and yeah stay tuned for next Monday. Love you.