Date Yourself Instead - How to manifest your dream life in 2023

Episode Date: January 23, 2023

With the fresh start 2023 is giving us, it’s the perfect time to start attracting abundance and transforming into your best self. I share the stories of the power of manifesting in my own life and how you can harness your own power and manifest your dream life too! Have you heard about this lucky girl syndrome trend? I’m going to experiment with this over the next few months. I love hearing from you guys so if you want to do it with me, lets DM! Connect with the Date Yourself Instead Movement: Website | Instagram Connect with Lyss: TikTok | Instagram | YouTube

Welcome to date yourself instead. Date yourself instead. What does it mean to date yourself instead? I'm just gonna learn how to love myself and that's it. Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Date yourself instead. I'm in this studio right now as usual. I just got myself a bourbon vanilla latte. Now when I tell you this latte is fucking crack, it is so good.

And I just realized that I probably shouldn't curse that much on here because a lot of my demographic is young, but then I'm like in the stage, I feel like 12-year-olds have seen and heard way worse than the word fuck. So whatever, I don't know, who knows. But I feel like it's just an unfortunate part of my vocabulary that I might have to switch up soon. So it's kid friendly because I know that there are a lot of young girls of army and I feel kind of bad that I don't censor myself. Anyways, today's episode is going to be about feeling really

lucky. I've been seeing this trend on TikTok going around a cold, lucky girl syndrome. And I've never heard of this before in my life. Obviously, someone coined it from TikTok, I think. I think someone kind of just like made this term up. But lucky girl syndrome is basically when you constantly are repeating to yourself that you're super lucky, you're super fortunate and you're super blessed and grateful for everything in your life. And by the power of your words and the power of your positive energy and feelings

towards what you're saying out loud to yourself, it manifests positively and you attract and receive everything that you want in your life and everything that you want to manifest comes to fruition based on the power of these words and these mantras that you're saying to yourself. So there was this one tick-tock of these two girls sitting in a car and they were talking about Lucky Girl syndrome

where they said, I'm so lucky, everything works out for me on repeat and then all these amazing things started unfolding for them and it was like magic. So for the next couple of weeks, I'm gonna try this out, all of January, all through my birthday month, into February and maybe for the rest of my life. I'm just gonna keep telling myself how lucky I am because it's a positive thing to feel and think anyway regardless. It probably will put me in a

better mood anyway. I really do believe in the power of positive thinking. It's so crazy. All the stories you hear about people manifesting insane success and amazing things in their lives all comes from the power of positive thinking. And everything was once just a thought, right? So nothing would exist really without human thought and energy going towards those thoughts. So it's just really cool to think about and unpack. And this whole trend going around TikTok was really cute and really positive and uplifting and inspiring. So if you wanna join me in becoming lucky this year in 2023,

send me a message on Instagram at lists, LYSS, and I would love to chat. I go through all your messages, and I'm so sorry if I haven't responded yet, I get so many. Like I'm not saying that in a conceded way, I just really get hundreds of messages a day. So if I haven't responded to you personally, please don't take it personally. It's literally because I

don't have enough time. But I do try to read as much as I can and read through everything as much as I can because it's not as time consuming. But I still see it. just know that I'm there and I'm behind my Instagram. So on top of this whole lucky girl syndrome topic, I wanted to create an episode around manifesting anything into your life and attracting abundance and amazing things and opportunities into your life through the power of positive thinking. This is an appropriate topic for 2023 and the New Year

because I like to think of the new year as just a fresh start. And I think most people think this way. It's a fresh start to get your mind in order, your career in order to make any changes to your life. If you want to make those changes for me, there's a lot of career changes I've been going through over the last several months. I signed with a new management.

I've been working on the podcast like crazy, trying to make it as good as possible for you guys. Sometimes I play my podcast back. I'm like, do people actually want to listen to my voice? But it's, you know, it's still new for me. It's still a new career path. I'm taking a day by day and I'm really loving it, but it's a lot of work and it's a lot of behind-the-scenes things that a lot of people don't see. Yeah, just I think 2023 is going to be the year of really evolving and transforming into our dream versions of ourselves. Like I see so many people posting about, you know, transformation and evolving and becoming your higher self and everyone's tuning into this like higher collective energy where everyone's trying to be the best versions of themselves, which is amazing and it's such a beautiful thing and it's exciting. So this episode is really gonna cover

manifestation and how to manifest anything into your life and Yeah, so let's dive right in. So how can you harness your inner power and manifest your dream life in the new year? Manifestation is the act of bringing something into your reality by the power of thought. It's by using your own inner powers and your own inner energy to create tangible real things that happen in your life. And it almost feels like magic because crazy things have happened with me, personally with manifestation. I've mentioned little tidbits here and there in previous episodes, but I've manifested some amazing things into my life. The earliest manifestation I can think of is when

I was 10 years old and I was watching the Grammys and I told my mom, I want to go to the Grammys more than anything and I'm going to go. I didn't get too specific on why I would go or why I would be there. I love to sing. I sung opera as a kid, so I thought maybe I would be receiving an award at the Grammys at some point for music, but actually it manifested very differently. But I still made it there when I was 25 and 26. I went two years in a row. It obviously took some time and I had to become an adult before I got there, but I just always watched the Grammys and I thought of it as this like magical amazing event in Hollywood with all my favorite stars and celebrities,

and I just was, I don't know, it was just this thing on my bucket list since I'm a kid. So I didn't harness too much on the details of how I was gonna do it, and I really didn't think too much into it. Like throughout my life, I wasn't working towards it. It was just something I had set out allowed to my mom at a very young age, and she't like working towards it. It was just something I had set out loud to my mom

at a very young age. And she was fully supportive of it. She's like, yeah, I believe that you will, of course. Like that's an amazing goal to achieve. If you do, like I'd be so proud of you. And I fell into this world of social media and influencing and I traveled the world and I created content for years.

And through working in social media, I eventually got to the point where I built a relationship with a brand, and the brand was MasterCard. And MasterCard was hosting the Grammys, and sponsoring the Grammys, I should say. So they invited a select group of content creators from Instagram to attend. And that's how I got to go.

So it was really exciting and really amazing and such a cool opportunity that I'll never forget. And then to be invited back again, from a second brand, I believe the other brand that invited me, it was a last minute opportunity, but I ended up going with Lori L.. I got like a hair and makeup artist literally the day of. I was freaking out, but it was super cool, and I got to go with another brand that I admire, and I love. So overall, two years in a row at the Grammys, and I

believe that I had set that visualization and that intention from when I was 10 years old. And it was just really cool to look back and remember that memory that I had set that to my mom. I really wanted to go blah blah blah. You get the gist. I do believe that the power of manifestation and thinking that anything is possible for you is so fucking real.

So now that I've gone on a long ass rant of my personal manifestation story, I'm gonna tell you how you can harness your own inner power and manifest your dream life. So here are the steps. In order to manifest, you really have to get clear on what you want. The most important step is getting so clear

on exactly what it is that you want and know the details of what it is that you want and know the details of what you want. Be specific and write down your goals, whether you use a journal or a vision board, whatever you want to use in order to get specific, get specific. Write down all the details of how you want to manifest it, why you want it, what you want to do, once you receive it, just kind of like visualizing your dream life surrounding this manifestation.

Personally, I love to write lists and journal because it's just also very therapeutic for me at the same time. I always buy a fresh journal for the new year and I love writing down my goals and envisioning what I want to happen for me in the months to come. And I meditate on it a lot. I love writing down my goals and envisioning what I want to happen for me in the months to come. And I meditate on it a lot. I love meditation because it kind of puts your body and your mind in a state of peace in order to attract and manifest better, in my opinion. Sometimes I'll wake up a bit earlier in the morning and speak out loud to the universe and pray for the things I really want to manifest, morning and speak out loud to the universe and pray for the things I really want to manifest. Especially in the beginning of the manifestation process. I didn't like do this on a consistent

basis when I was trying to attract something into my life, but if you do this once or twice in the morning, just setting your intentions, being clear about what you want, being direct with the universe, and speaking it out loud, it's just asking. It's like placing an order to the universe and getting really specific in order to attract exactly what you wanted to your life. Another note is that you don't have to beg the universe for it every single day. You don't have to stress and harp over the details.

As I mentioned, when I was 10 years old, I put it out into the universe that I wanted to attend the Grammys multiple times. But from 10 years old to 26, whenever I wanted to attend the Grammys multiple times, but From 10 years old to 26 whenever I ended up attending the Grammys I wasn't like sitting on my couch every single day Crying and begging to the universe that I wanted this like I literally almost didn't think about it I never really crossed my mind. I didn't force it. I didn't you know Strategize all these crazy things to get what I wanted. I literally just sent the message out, made it clear, and then let it go.

And that's the next step. Aside from believing it's possible and aside from actually believing that what you want is on its way, letting it go is also such an important step in the process of manifesting which I'm going gonna get into soon. When you beat your requests to the ground, if you're begging the universe for your manifestation, it's a mistake because it blocks the energy and it creates a lot of stuck unnecessary mental blocks and roadblocks in order to get there.

The harder you push at it, I do believe the less you receive. From my own experience. That's just my experience. So step number two is, as I just mentioned, you have to believe what you're asking for is really going to happen. This means letting go of any limiting beliefs or doubts that might be holding you back. It's obviously easier said than done when you're the type of person who gets so stuck and lost in your thoughts like me, I have crazy anxiety and I'll pan out all these worst case scenarios in my head. Those are blocking your manifestations. The truth is you really have to believe that it's going to happen for you.

And almost like it's already happened. Like you almost have to act as if it's already a part of your life. You have to trust it so deeply that it's already happened for you. Who would you really be if you were this person that got what you wanted? An example is when I wanted to manifest this specific person into my life because I thought we were compatible.

I don't know why I thought that at the time because we are not compatible, but I wanted to manifest him at this time in my life. But I wasn't aligning myself with the type of person I would be if I was actually going to date him. I wasn't really taking care of myself or my mental health or my physical health. I was literally neglecting my mental health in order to manifest this person because I was so anxious and so stressed out. And I was like, I can't be alone, I need someone, I need to date someone, I was putting out all this desperate, weird energy and I just wasn't myself, it was a weird time at my life. I was skipping the gym every day, I was eating super unhealthy which made me feel just like sick and tired and mentally off

and I just wasn't confident and secure with myself and that's okay. We all go through phases like this and it's totally normal to, you know, have a bad couple months where you're not really feeling in your element. But this was like next level. I just was like kind of not stable to be completely honest. And I was having so much trouble attracting anything good into my life. Like I was going through a really rough period of time where I wasn't able to manifest anything because I was so stuck in this blocked energy. But once I started really working on myself and taking the actions to empower myself and

feel good and I started to let go of forcing this connection, I ended up bumping into them at an event I was at. Like literally four months later, after I had completely taken my power back and I started working on myself and taking care of myself again, I bumped into this person. And at that time, I was in such a different mental place, I didn't even want them anymore.

I was in a totally different place in my life. I realized that we were not compatible at all whatsoever. And it's kind of ironic and funny when you stop wanting something or someone so much and you level yourself up, oftentimes when you actually receive it, you don't even want it anymore. It's kind of interesting. But step three with your manifestations is to take inspired action if you can. Once you're clear on what you want and you've set your intention and you believe that it's possible, sometimes you're going to have to take inspired action if you can. Once you're clear on what you want and you've set your intention

and you believe that it's possible, sometimes you're gonna have to take necessary actions in order to get there. Let's just say you wanna publish a book and you want it to be number one. You're not going to just manifest a book out of thin fucking air. You need to write the book, okay?

Obviously. You need to take the necessary steps to make the book as good as possible. You need to write the book, okay? Obviously. You need to take the necessary steps to make the book as good as possible. You need to put your love and your energy and your power into what you're working on. And you need to take inspired action. I think there's a misconception with manifesting is like, you just set out an intention or you set something out into the universe and just expect it to fall magically into your lap. When most of the time you're going to have to take some sort of action to get what you want. It's not supposed to feel strenuous and miserable and difficult.

Like, you're supposed to do something is my point. You're not supposed to just sit on your ass and wait for it to come to you all the time. Sometimes, can it insert in circumstances? Yes, I've manifested things that have felt like they've fallen into my lap, but far in view between. There are a lot of things that I've actually had to put a lot of effort and work into in order to make it happen. So it doesn't mean you also need to have such a specific guided plan or a road map, but you just have to be open to opportunities and be willing to open

yourself up to taking different actions and be willing to try new things. Also, trust that the universe is going to guide you in the right direction. If you're in a good mental state and you're ready to manifest your dream life or whatever it is that you want, just trust and follow your intuition and also follow the way you're guided in a way. I've been in situations where I've wanted certain things, and then I realized that there was something better for me that the universe was guiding me towards. So sometimes you're going to plant the seeds for a manifestation or something that you really want, and then the universe might guide you towards something way better and way different that you didn't expect.

And that's okay, too. And you might end up something way better and way different that you didn't expect. And that's okay too. And you might end up being way happier that way. I always believe in trusting the universe in guiding me towards something that's actually right for me. Because sometimes we don't really know what's actually good for us. And especially with people, like I've wanted to date certain people that I thought would be an amazing fit for me. And then I realized that they were so not it.

And I was completely wrong. And I was always guided to something better or better situation. And I was so grateful that that happened because otherwise I would have wasted years of my life with the wrong person. Okay, step number four on manifesting is letting go of the attachment to the outcome.

This is really difficult sometimes, but it's so important. You have to let go of the attachment to the specific outcome you desire and trust that the universe does have a plan for you that's going to make you truly happy and at peace. And either it's going to deliver you what you want or something even better, depending on where you're at in your life. And be open to the unexpected, be open to new things that you didn't even think of manifesting because sometimes that has happened to me also

where I've wanted one thing, I've asked for one thing and then I got something so much better. It's kind of what I was just saying previously. It's like sometimes you really don't know what's actually going to make you truly happy. Step number five is just an important thing on a daily basis that I always do. Just remember to be grateful and thankful that you're here, you're living in a physical body on earth and you're lucky to be alive. Life is short and you're lucky to have an opportunity to be here and be grateful that you're able to, you know, listen to a podcast, that you're lucky to have an opportunity to be here and be grateful that you're

able to, you know, listen to a podcast, that you're able to own a smartphone, that you're able to live the life you're living right now, regardless of where you're at, if you are comparing yourself to other people and you see other people have more money and fame and success than you and your NVS of them, like just pulling yourself out of that energy and realizing that you're so lucky and you're so, you should be so grateful. It's easier said than done because we live in a world of comparison, right? We live in a world where there's social media and you could see what everyone else is up to and you get major foe-mo and you don't know what to do with yourself because you feel like you're slacking and you're lacking behind because someone has a better

career than you or better opportunities than you. But at the end of the day, if you have your health especially and you're able to listen to this and you're able to manifest and you have opportunities, you are very lucky. You are very lucky even though sometimes it might not feel like it. And I think practicing a lot of gratitude throughout the manifestation process really speeds things up. This means being thankful for everything you have in the present moment and expressing gratitude

for what you want as if it's already happened. And this shifts your energy, it lightens everything up and it takes you to a new level of abundance and you're able to receive what you want more. This is just all for my experience. And I just want to emphasize the art of letting go of control. When you stop trying to control everything around you and you trust the universe has a plan for you and you allow things to unfold naturally, it really does help you so much achieve anything

you want. And I really believe this, anytime I've just been in the flow and I've let the universe kind of take its course and let it guide me to where it needs to guide me, things have always felt so much better. And I remember when I first moved to Manhattan after college, I had no set plan on what I was doing with my life and my job. I was working on social media already. I was selling my own workout programs on social media. This was like eight, nine years ago. And I decided to move to Manhattan on a whim. I went to Binghamton University, which is upstate New York for those of you who are unfamiliar with

that college, upstate New York in the middle of nowhere, it was a really good experience. I'll probably discuss that in another episode, my whole college experience in general, but I wasn't sure where I wanted to go after college. And I was already working on my Instagram. I was building my social media brand. You get the gist, but I really had no plan. I was just moving to New York City and hoping for the best and hoping that everything would work out and would be sustainable long-term because at the time Instagram was still fairly

new, no brands were using it yet. There were no such thing as sponsorships for influencers. It was not anything like it is today. So when I moved to Manhattan, I rented an apartment out for six months and I gave myself a test run. I'm like, let's see if I can make it work. And I trusted the process. My parents thought I was crazy at first. They're like, oh, are you sure you want to move to the city? What are you going to do for work? I was like, I'm just going to wing it with a social media thing and see where it takes me. I couldn't predict the future.

I didn't know Instagram was going to blow up and be what it is today. I had no fucking clue, but I let the universe take control. I let it guide me and I trusted my intuition and I trusted my gut and I did what felt good and what was making me happy. And it worked out and And it worked out because I let go of the need to constantly control the outcome. I had no set plans. I just followed my intuition. And obviously I worked towards things. I created my own workout programs. I was marketing myself. I was putting inspired action behind what I was doing, of course. But there was no set plans.

I wasn't beating myself up over having everything going a specific way. I made mistakes throughout the process. You know, I've lost money on business deals. I got scammed by a company a few times for Instagram. Like, there was so many things and bumps along the way, but I'm just grateful that I let go of these crazy outcomes and I just let the universe guide me because it led me to where I am today

and as she's as that may sound, it's true. I'll also get into a quick real story that happened to me about the power of letting go. I was dating this guy super casually, I was super young. It was, I think right before freshman year of high school. I liked this guy. He liked me. We were friends for a while, and we were dating,

dating, meaning holding hands once in a while. It was a silly relationship in middle school. And I remember he broke up with me, and I was really sad. And then the next day, I went to this carnival thing that my high school was hosting for freshmen before we started high school. And there were all these freshmen there that I've never met before and I was there by myself.

And I was waiting online for this ride. And there was this like really tall guy standing in front of me. And we made eye contact really quickly. really tall guy standing in front of me. We made eye contact really quickly and I think he said something to me and we exchanged, like, it was like three words. I don't remember exactly what the conversation was, but I remember us talking. I remember thinking my head, oh my God, he's really attractive and I wanted to keep talking to him, but he was with, I think he was with his current girlfriend at the time. I'm not really sure what their relationship was,

but he was with a girl. So, I didn't really think about it after that, but I just thought he was attractive. And then, a few weeks later, at Freshman Orientation, I saw him again, we made eye contact again, and I remember thinking, again in my head, oh my God, that guy is so attractive, that's the guy I saw at the carnival,

but I didn't think he remembered. Brushed it off, didn't speak at that time. And then a few weeks after that, I went to my friend's birthday dinner and he was sitting across from me. We end up talking the whole dinner and it was like fate, we just ended up literally dating a week later.

And that was my boyfriend all throughout high school. And into college, we dated for a very long time. And it was just so interesting. Like, I wasn't placing any sort of expectations on him or anything whatsoever. I didn't even really think about it. And that's the beauty of manifestation. It's like your intuition kind of knows,

like, if it's see something or if it wants something, that you want it already. And then it sets it up for you if you just let it go and trust the process and you don't really harp on it or think about it again and I just felt like I had manifested him because I had kind of planted the seed in my head Oh, I think that guy's attractive. Oh, I think we might get along. I want to talk to him But then I forgot about it then I detached from it and let it go and never thought about him again until we actually had the opportunity to sit across from each other and get to know each other. And then we started dating. And I realized that the universe works in these crazy, mysterious ways and kind of sets a road map

for you. And it knows what's good for you and when to set it for you. It always comes in at the perfect timing. I think if we had tried to start anything before that, it wouldn't have worked because he had just gotten out of a relationship when we started really talking officially. So it was really interesting and I just think the power of manifestation is so cool and it's fascinating. It really does feel magical. And the beauty of learning more about it is that

now you know how to kind of operate from a place of, okay, well, I can attract anything I want in this lifetime as long as I just trust the universe and get into the flow and really work on myself and become the best version of myself and maintain a positive attitude and just practice gratitude and be grateful. And the more you trust and the more you're open to receiving and the more you just get into the flow, the easier it is to manifest. Very cool. Looking back with a whole situation with my first boyfriend and meeting him and manifesting him essentially,

I realized that I had attracted him into my life by really just not overthinking anything and just focusing on myself and letting the universe work its magic without me getting involved. I let go of any doubts or fears around it. I wasn't thinking, oh, I want to text him. I hope he asks around it. I wasn't thinking, oh, I want to text him. I hope he asks my number. I wasn't thinking of anything like that. I

was just trusting that what was meant to happen would happen. And I realized that sometimes the most unexpected moments can lead to the coolest experiences and the greatest blessings in life. And just by trusting and being open to what the universe or whatever higher power You believe in hasn't store for you. You can manifest literally anything you want in this life I hope this episode was helpful. Thank you guys so much as always for listening I think that concludes today's episode. Thank you guys so much as always for listening. I truly appreciate it I as always for listening. I truly appreciate it. I hope these tips will help you manifest amazing incredible beautiful things in 2023. Thanks again. Remember to

send me a DM on Instagram at lists, LYSS, or at date yourself instead. If you want a chat, I love you. Hope you have an amazing week and stay tuned for next Monday. I love you, hope you have an amazing week and stay tuned for next Monday.