Date Yourself Instead - How to manifest your soulmate

Episode Date: November 28, 2022

If you’re ready to receive someone into your life, this story may inspire you manifest it. Once, after listening to a podcast suggesting manifesting a love by writing a letter, I immediately met a new person. It’s easy to match someone’s energy for too long and lose yourself. Instead, you can use your positive thoughts to manifest someone that you can be your true self with. Connect with the Date Yourself Instead Movement: Website | Instagram Connect with Lyss: TikTok | Instagram | YouTube

Welcome to date yourself instead. Date yourself instead. What does it mean to date yourself instead? I'm just gonna learn how to love myself, and that's it. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Date Yourself Instead. Thank you so, so much for all of your positive feedback and all of your reviews on the podcast.

If you have a second, it'll literally take two seconds. Feel free to just give the podcast a rating on Apple or Spotify. It is so appreciated and it is so helpful as I keep this podcast going. I am obsessed with recording episodes for you guys. It literally is like the highlight of my week when I get up and I go to the studio, I'm so excited about it. And the feedback has just been so incredible, so I really, really appreciate it. Today's episode is going to be a story time of how I manifested a soulmate by writing a letter to the universe. Now, I know this sounds a little bit crazy and witchy and ridiculous, and I know I might

be getting some judgment for even making an episode about this, but I honestly really do believe in manifestation, as you know, from my previous episodes and just everything I talk about all the time. I really believe that you can bring people and circumstances and business opportunities and pretty much anything into your life through the power of your positive thinking. And it's just really cool because I've definitely manifested a lot of cool things into my life. So a lot of people have been asking me on Instagram about manifesting a soulmate because if you've been single for a really long time and you're really looking for that special someone, especially

with the holidays coming up, it could feel super lonely and super sad if you don't have someone to share everything with. And I totally understand that feeling. I totally know what it feels like. So, I thought today's episode would be a little story time of how I actually did manifest someone into my life. He was 100% one of my soulmates. I do believe we have multiple soulmates in this lifetime. But he was definitely one of my soulmates. And although we decided to end things and things weren't always perfect

throughout the relationship, there was a lot of good in this relationship and I know that I manifested him just by how specific the details of what I asked the universe for kind of like played out in this situation. It was really weird and really interesting but so cool and I thought I would just share it as a means of inspiration if you are looking to manifest a partner into your life. Even if you manifest someone who's a romantic partner, but it long term doesn't end up working out,

it doesn't mean they weren't a good person for you, it doesn't mean that they weren't one of your soulmates. I think the universe throws people and situations at us at the right time, like in a right timeline type of thing. So, like, even if they weren't the one and they're not going to be your husband or your wife or whatever, the universe will still throw people in situations at you according to the timeline of your life and what you're ready for and what you're ready to receive. So this was kind of like that where I manifested someone who I learned so much from.

I learned what valuing myself really was in a relationship because of this person and I learned what being truly loved felt like from this person. So there was a lot of good that came out of it and I know it was my own doing because of the letter I wrote to the universe prior to meeting this person. Also, I do want to touch on something before I get into the whole manifestation thing. I just want you guys to understand the most important part of this entire podcast is to have fun with it. One, like, just don't take life too seriously. Don't like sit down and listen to this podcast and like get like so frustrated because you're not seeing the results you want because

you haven't manifested anything yet. Like I tend to get sewn my head when I listen to like self-help things sometimes because if you try to like follow really step by step to a tee of what people are telling you to do, you can almost get so in your head and so frustrated with like what you're trying to achieve that it blocks you from receiving and it blocks you from your blessings. If you're constantly like forcing something to happen and you're constantly like hashing it out in your head and replaying situations in your head and you're like, I need this

person, I want this person, I need a boyfriend, like I need a girlfriend. If you're constantly forcing those thoughts, it could actually be counterproductive and block you from receiving your blessings and manifestations. So just be careful with that. I just wanted to touch on that really quickly before we dive into this episode, because I'm guilty of this too, where I'll listen to a self-help podcast about manifestation or law of attraction, or I'll read a book about it or something. And then I'll try to execute and it doesn't work out the way that I wanted to sometimes

because I'm forcing it. Manifestations always come when you're least expecting them, because you kind of have to think about them and put out there to the universe, like what you're looking for and what you're trying to accomplish or what you want to attract. And then you're letting it go. Like, you have to kind of release it and trust that it's on its way. I like the analogy by Abraham Hicks where they talk about how it's like if you basically order a package from Amazon, for example, you know that it's coming. Like you already trust that it's coming and that they're going to deliver the package for you.

It's the same thing with manifestation and like the law of attraction. Once you place your order to the universe and you ask for something, you just have to trust that it's coming and almost forget that you even ask for it. And I know that sounds a little bit weird, but it's true. Like every time I've put a manifestation or request out into the universe,

it always ends up being delivered when I like have almost given up on it and just like forgotten about it completely. And that's kind of what happened in this story time that I'm about to share. And the other thing I wanted to touch on before I dive in is that you cannot force a genuine real romantic connection and you cannot force someone to be with you

because there is free will in this universe. If someone truly does not want to be with you, you cannot force them to be with you, you cannot force them to be with you and you wouldn't want to do that anyway because eventually everything will just fall apart if they just don't want to be with you anyway. It's kind of weird to force someone to date you or be with you. Everyone has free will at the end of the day. Everyone gets to make their own decisions. You cannot manifest a specific person to fall in love with you unless that was supposed to happen for them in their journey anyway.

Like, you can't perform some kind of witchcraft spell on them to make them magically fall in love with you. It's really weird and creepy if you try to do that in my opinion. But I will say, if you work on becoming the absolute best version of yourself and you work on yourself every single day and you're living at a high vibration and you're living your best life

and you're focused on yourself and you attract that specific person into your life, that's completely different. And that means that they were supposed to be a part of your life when the timing was right anyway. And they were supposed to be a part of your life when the timing was right anyway and they were supposed to be a part of your life when you were at the highest version of yourself. So that's a totally different thing and sometimes that really did happen to me where I would like work on myself a lot, take the attention off of everyone else and really just like

focus on making myself the best possible version of who I was. And then someone would magically come into my life that I least expected or someone that I really wanted to talk to would text me. It's always when you're at your best self and you like take attention off of like the person you're trying to get in touch with, that's always when they either reach out or they come back into your life. And if they don't, you'll attract better situations

and circumstances and people into your life when you're focused on yourself. When you harness your inner power and you focus on how powerful you are and you take the attention off of what you're trying to accomplish almost, like if you're trying to get in touch with someone and you keep forcing it. Once you let that go and you center your energy back

into yourself, that's when things really start to manifest and happen and work in your favor. So I definitely want to dive into this story time. I did want to tell you guys one more thing. And of course, at the end of the day, this is my podcast. I'm speaking for my own experiences and my own perspectives. So if you have a different opinion or experience or perspective about manifesting a specific

person, that's totally okay too. I'm an open-minded person. I'm open to all stories and experiences. And if someone's had an experience where they forced a connection and manifested someone in another deeply in love and whatever. That's totally cool and I think that's awesome that you were able to do that. But I just find the more you let go and the more you just let it unfold the way it's supposed to, the better the circumstances and the better situation that you end up in. like, guaranteed. Like, for me at least, I just always find myself in a better situation when I don't have any, like, heavy expectations on something.

I just plant the seed. I speak to the universe. I let the universe know what I'm looking for. And then I always end up attracting what I want, or even something better, once I've let go of it. And I'm just, like just really focusing on myself. I'll start off also by giving a really simple example of this one guy that I catered to basically

because I wanted to be with him so badly out of desperation. I don't know what was going on with me at this time in my life. This was several years ago, but I was like obsessed with this one guy that I really wanted to date. I thought he was like super attractive.

I thought he was everything that I wanted in a psohme. Like I was like, he's the one. I don't know why I thought this. I was like going through a bit of a delusional phase in my life, but we'll just put that notice side for a second. And I was just like studying his personality basically in order for him to like me. I just remember I wanted to impress him and like do everything right. And I wasn't intentionally

like manifesting him, but I was kind of just like begging the universe to give me a chance with this person. It was like kind of weird. I was just always thinking about it and always thinking about how badly I wanted his attention. And looking back, I'm just such a different version of myself now that I'm like, what the hell was I thinking, like, wasting all that energy and time trying to manifest this person? Because like, he wasn't even anything remotely special to me anyway. But I don't know. I was just going through a phase. And I would match his energy at all times. Instead of maintaining my own energy, which I think is what gets you places

and what gets you into really amazing situations, I was replicating his energy instead of my own and losing myself in the process. When you initially match someone's energy, they usually like it and they'll thrive off of it and they'll feed off of it because it feels Familiar and good to them and like safe to them so they could like open up more to you and feel comfortable around you because You're basically imitating their energetic field like I don't really know how to word it the right way, but it's like You kind of observe their mannerisms and what they like to talk about and what they like to do, and you kind of cater to that energy instead of maintaining

who you are. I know a lot of people have done this before when they're trying to get someone to like them. It's like a form of like people pleasing where you're trying to adjust who you are in order to make the other person feel comfortable, which in some specific situations can be a good thing. Like if you're working with someone on a business deal and you wanna make sure like everyone's happy

and you wanna make the environment feel good, like you can try to match people's energy in specific like work situations. But for courting a romantic partner, I just don't think this is a really smart idea because eventually your true colors are going to come out at some point. You're not gonna put on this mask for months and years and end up married to this person

and live a lie. It's not really realistic. So I was just matching this person's energy for, I think it was like almost three months, I tried to keep up with this. And the trade-off was that I was just constantly catering to who they were. I started to get kind of depressed because I wasn't focusing on myself. All of my attention was on them, and they were feeding off of it and giving me attention, and they seemed to really like me because I was putting on this facade of who I really was. It just wasn't really authentically me. I wasn't showing emotion.

For example, like this guy said, he didn't like being in relationships and he didn't really have a lot of emotions, so I would kind of play off of that and say, like, I don't really like relationships and I'm not really emotional blah, blah, blah. And I would just paint this picture of like this ideal, I guess, version of what he wanted me to be in front of him, so he would like me more. And it worked temporarily for a while, I will say that. But once again, the trade-off is that I was losing myself, I wasn't being true to myself. And eventually the relationship died out

and it crumbled down into nothing. And it wasn't the same because I started being more true to myself as time went on and he didn't like that version of me. But even though in the moment I was really depressed because he didn't like that version of me, it was such a blessing that the universe was like, what the fuck are you doing? Wake up, why are you catering to this person that doesn't like the real you and like removed him so quickly after that out of my life?

Looking back, I'm like, that was the biggest blessing because eventually when I started being true to myself, I found even better situations for me and such an amazing relationship, which actually the story I'm about to share about manifesting a soulmate through writing a letter, I met this guy right after the situation happened and it was like the biggest blessing in disguise

that I lost that other person that I was putting on this like show for all the time because I stepped into my power. I became true to myself and really like a few months later, it wasn't that long after. I wrote a letter to the universe about wanting a soulmate and this guy that was so much better for me and actually appreciated me for exactly who I was. I never had to be anyone else other than myself. He came into my life and I was like, oh, this is what a healthy relationship is like. That's really cool.

And the universe is trying to guide me this way this whole time. It was just really funny. So I'm going to get into the story time now and I hope you guys enjoy it and take something from it. So, I was sitting in a cafe in New York City. I always go to cafes to just clear my head and spend time by myself. I'll usually go on my laptop or be like reading a book or listening to a podcast.

And I was listening to a podcast. I'm not sure whose podcast it was because this was a few years ago, but it was a episode about manifesting a soulmate by writing a letter. And I thought it was kind of silly, and I really didn't believe it as I was listening to it, but I was like, I have nothing to lose. Fuck it. I'm just going to do it as a joke. And I bought a card you would buy your significant other. It was a card that said love on it. Like repeatedly, it was just like love scribbled on it

a million times. It was really cute. And I sat down in this cafe, ordered some dinner and tea, and I wrote a letter to the universe basically asking for, oh, sorry, no, it wasn't asking for. I wrote a letter to the person as if this person already existed in my life. I'm already fucking up the story, my bad. So I was listening to the manifestation exercise and basically it was saying you need to act as if this person is already a part of your life. You need to step into this situation as if

it's already happening in real time. You can't be begging the universe for something. You need to pretend it already happened, and you need to believe that it's already happening for you. So that was a huge shift in my mindset, because instead of asking the universe and saying, like, I really want this person, I was writing the letter as if this person already existed. So I end up writing this letter to this person. I think it was like dear love of my life. And then I wrote out this whole thing about how amazingly we're and I appreciated how incredible our relationship was

and how we've had such amazing times together. And it was just this whole detailed letter about how in love I was with them and how appreciative I was of them. So yeah, I know this sounds a little weird, this sounds a little creepy maybe because at the time this person did not exist, I was single and I was literally alone, but it kind of felt like exhilarating in a way to believe these things. Like it was so delusional in a way, but it was also so exciting because I truly got to convince my brain and my body for a second

that I was really writing this letter to an actual person. I didn't put any names, obviously. I didn't put any physical qualities. Even though I know some people say like putting physical qualities is fine, I personally wanted to attract someone for their soul and not for their looks. So it didn't really matter to me. What they looked like, obviously, I wanted to be physically attracted to them,

of course, and I wanted to be sexually attracted to them. Those are very important things, but that wasn't the focus. The focus was being as happy as possible with this person and being so deeply in love with this person. And I just focused on those qualities because of the end of the day. Sometimes we don't really know physically what we're looking for. I used to be kind of shallow, to be completely transparent, where I thought I was only attracted to a certain look, like whether it was like a guy who was super tall with light eyes and light hair, something like that I would just always envision my soul mate I guess looking a certain way.

And I think that actually blocked me energetically from opening my mind up to meeting other types of people that look a little bit different. It's not that I wouldn't be attracted to anyone else. It's just I was so narrow minded because all of my exes kind of looked similar. So I thought that was just what I wanted. So when I was writing this letter out, I made sure not to include any physical qualities because I wanted to make sure that the person I matched up with, I would be in love with them for exactly who they are and they would love me exactly as I am, and it wouldn't be about, you know, physical appearance. So I ended up writing this letter, finishing it,

not really thinking too much about it afterwards, just put it in my bag and kind of forgot about it. Two days later, I was going to look for an apartment downtown, and I go to this apartment, even though I had seen the building twice already, and I wasn't really in the mood to go again, but the broker had texted me and said he had a new apartment opening up in the same building that I had already looked at. So I almost didn't even go because I was like, oh, like really, like, do I have to go back there again?

But I didn't have an apartment at the time, and I was kind of freaking out. So I was just like, you know what? I have nothing to lose. I don't really have anything to do this morning, so I'm just going to go. I end up going and the broker brings this other guy with him. And we were just bantering a little bit and like kind of teasing each other because this guy wanted the apartment. And I really did like the apartment too.

So we were kind of fighting over the apartment as a joke and the guy was basically saying like this is my apartment and you're not gonna take it and I was like well why don't we just live together and it was totally obviously I was totally kidding but he was definitely flirting flirting with me and I was kind of flirting back but I had zero interest in this person I was not attracted to him right off the bat. I literally did not even think about it as far as like a romantic situation. There was zero interest. I swear to you, there was really zero interest. And we ended up both like leaving.

I just went back home. I did not want the apartment. I decided very quickly after that that it just didn't feel like the right fit. And within a few hours, this guy from the apartment that was bantering with me, messages me on Instagram, and he told me that he had followed my account like years ago because I used to have like this big travel page and whatever, and he said that he recognized me, but he didn't want to say something in person. And I was just so turned off. I was like, ew, like he's probably using me for my followers or something.

I don't know. I had a huge guard up, and I also just had zero interest. And I wasn't, for some reason, I had so much resistance to him, so I just didn't even really respond. I would give him maybe one word answers every couple of weeks, but I was really not interested. And then COVID happened. So I ended up moving to Arizona temporarily. This guy lived in New York. I never saw him barely spoke to him. I was doing my own thing. I was just like working on myself, hiking, journaling,

just like trying to stay positive during that really crazy time in 2020. And occasionally we would DM, this guy would reply to one of my stories or he would send me pictures of something. I don't know. Everyone was kind of in a weird mental state during that time and texting people and talking to people.

I didn't really think anything of it once again. My mind was in a completely different mental space. And I was just kind of bored. So he was messaging me occasionally and saying very basic things and like I was responding. That was pretty much the entire situation. Nothing crazy, nothing too flirty. It really wasn't like that. Six months later, I moved back to New York City and this guy asks me to hang out and I completely say no. I'm like no, definitely

not. I was still not interested at all whatsoever. I was just starting my TikTok. I was really focused on my career. I was really focused on becoming the best version of myself after a really scary time in the world. I just feel like COVID kind of was extra hard on me because I had a travel career and I lost my job pretty much. So I was just getting back on my feet. I had just gotten a temporary place in New York

to kind of like just focus on myself for a bit. And I was enjoying my alone time. So I said no. And he was so persistent. He asked me like five times, I think, to hang out. And I just kept saying no. He asked me if I wanted to come to a party with him.

And I just was like not interested at all in partying. So I just said, no thank you. And I, for some reason, there was just one night where he invited me out and I said no. And he said that the party got canceled and he asked if I, he could stop by my apartment. For some weird fucking reason, I had this like intuitive voice in my head saying just meet him for a few minutes and see what happens. Like don't be so close off to this person.

He's been asking you to hang out for so long and he's been messaging you for months and you met him already in person once. Like you didn't get any weird vibes from him. So you might as well just see where it goes. I still had a lot of resistance around it, but he ends up coming over for maybe an hour, like a really quick meeting, I guess,

just to properly hang out and get to know each other. And I was surprisingly kind of attracted to him, but I also still had a lot of like walls up and I was just not interested, but I also wasn't opposed to it all of a sudden. It felt like sort of right, but I was pushing it down and suppressing it. And then long story short, he kept being persistent. After that, he asked me to hang out a few more times. I said no again and then I saw him post himself with another girl out to dinner. One night I got so jealous and I realized that I actually really liked him. I texted him, we ended up meeting up and we never separated after that and we were dating for a pretty long time and And like, it was so funny because the way I realized that I really liked him was out of jealousy,

which is like kind of immature on my part. But I just needed like a wake up call because I was stuck in this mentality that I really didn't want anyone. I wasn't open-minded to a relationship. And I was like doing my own thing to the point where I didn't want to get, I didn't want to fall in love, basically. But I ended up falling in love really fast and he treated me with a lot of respect and love and he was always there for me and being so persistent, he always wanted to hang out

and be around me. And that's such a green flag because most guys these days, like, it's so hard to make a fucking plan with anyone and for anyone to show genuine interest. So when someone does, you're like, nah, I'm good. Like, that's weird, but it's not weird. That's normal. That's like how it really should be. Like, your person should want to be around you and show you that they like you, right? Like, that's just normal and healthy. So I end up realizing after a couple of months that the letter I wrote, I wrote that letter and two days later I had met him in that apartment. So I actually manifested him in two days.

This letter was exactly describing the type of person that he was and the type of relationship that we ended up having. So I was like, I even forgot about the letter. I forgot that I wrote it until I found it in my bag like two months into our relationship. And I was like, oh my god, this is so weird. Like this is crazy. I literally manifested you.

And for his birthday, I gave him the letter. And I was like, literally like, I manifested you before I even met you. And two days later, after I wrote this letter, I met you. And the timing just wasn't right at the time, obviously, because COVID happened and we weren't living in the same state. And at the time, I just wasn't, I wouldn't have been ready to date him and he wouldn't have been ready to date me. So the timing of it was so crazy. Also, it was like the universe was like working its magic to make sure the timing was aligned

and everything was aligned. And it was just so cool. And I realized that I had found this person that I had written down in this letter. And I gave the letter to him and he was like so appreciative. And he was like, this is the coolest thing ever. And this is so sweet. And he probably still has that letter somewhere, but I gave it to him. So I wish I could have like read it to you guys on the podcast, but I don't even

have it. The point being of this episode is that I really do believe that we are so powerful as human beings and we can create a reality through our thoughts. And I believe that it goes both ways. If you constantly think positively and you believe that you can create a reality through our thoughts. And I believe that it goes both ways. If you constantly think positively, and you believe that you can manifest a person and you can manifest something really special into your life, whether it's a career that you really want or a person or like a new friendship or a new experience, whatever it is,

you can manifest it through the power of your positive thinking and really believing that it exists for you. The same thing can apply though if you think negatively all the time, right? power of your positive thinking and really believing that it exists for you. The same thing can apply though if you think negatively all the time, right? So if you're constantly thinking, I'm not good enough, I'm never going to find anyone, like dating sucks, like there's no options, like everyone sucks. If you constantly play that over and over in your head and you believe that dating is so complicated, it will remain complicated for you. And once you just let go and you trust the universe and you believe that dating is so complicated, it will remain complicated for you.

And once you just let go and you trust the universe and you believe that you're being guided towards the right things for you and like amazing things in your life and you really do believe that with all your heart, that's one amazing things really start to shift and happen for you. And that's exactly what happened in that experience. I didn't even realize that I had manifested him because six months had gone by since I had wrote the letter, but the truth was, I had met him two days after I wrote that letter without even realizing

it, which was really trippy and cool. But the timing just wasn't right. And sometimes, the universe knows when the right timing is for you. So if you're not manifesting a person right now and you don't have anyone in your life right this second, that doesn't mean you're not gonna find anyone. It just means it might take a longer period of time because there's still either things that you have to work through. There's still certain things that you have to take care of

before you find that person. And once you do find that person, you'll probably look back and be like, wow, that's why it happened at this timing because if it had happened at a different point or time in my life, I probably wouldn't have been ready to receive it. The universe always works its magic and delivers what you're asking for and looking for when you are really ready to receive it. And it's just such a cool thing and such a beautiful thing. And I hope that was an inspiring story.

Honestly, I'm really, really tired today. So sorry if I sound a little weird. But I just was thinking about this story, and I thought it was really cool, and a really good one to share. As a means of inspiration, and hopefully, I can help you guys along the way as you are. Learning more about yourselves, and learning to love yourselves yourselves and appreciate yourselves with or without a partner. I think that

concludes today's episode. Thank you so much for listening as usual. It's so appreciated to have you guys all here. I'm so grateful. I hope you all have an amazing day and stay tuned for the next one. day and stay tuned for the next one.